essay on family heirloom

Essay: How Revisiting Family Heirlooms Brings About New Meaning

The Oma pan is a tiny aluminum saucepan. It’s probably something you could buy at a thrift store for a dollar. But it’s mine, and it used to be my grandmother’s, and I think of her every time I use it to scramble a few eggs or melt butter for baking.

When we think of heirlooms, we tend to think of things with monetary value — jewelry, china, silver, maybe art or furniture. But when we think of inexpensive, decades-old household items, we tend to think of them as clutter. 

I must admit, I’m kind of obsessed with decluttering. I tend to get easily overwhelmed by mess when I have too much stuff, so decluttering gives me a sense of clarity and order. Fewer things mean fewer things to clean and put away. And at this stage of my life, with five busy people in my household, managing all our stuff is especially important. 

Back when my 94-year-old Oma died, I’d just gotten married, and I was finishing up law school several states away. When it was time to divide up Oma’s belongings, my four siblings and I were tasked with choosing items in turn until no one wanted anything anymore. Since I was away, my mom stepped in to pick for me, guessing as best she could what I might like or need for myself or my apartment.  

When I next arrived at my parents’ house, I had a mishmash of stuff waiting for me. A pretty tablecloth cross-stitched by my grandmother. A dented kitchen funnel. A great-aunt’s partial silver set. A few pieces of midcentury glassware. A Gilhoolie tool (Google it — they’re amazing). My grandmother’s favorite earrings. A great-uncle’s watercolor painting. A decorative silver (pewter?) plate from Germany. A large circular mirror in a not-my-taste gold frame. Maybe there were other things, things I immediately rejected as clutter. But I only remember these things, the things I did take. You’d think that would make them important. And yet they sat, mostly unused for one reason or another.

I’m afraid to wear the earrings. They seem a bit delicate, and they should probably have a checkup with a jeweler. The great-aunt’s silver rarely comes out, and neither does the hand-stitched tablecloth, as it doesn’t really fit properly on any of my tables.

The gold mirror followed me through three moves, shuffling between attics and storage rooms, before it finally found a home above my youngest child’s dresser. I repainted the frame in a soft lilac that matches my daughter’s bedroom decor. She and Oma never met one another, but they share a birthday separated by 105 years, a connection that my daughter savors. When the mirror once again hung on a wall, it was transformed from dusty attic life to thoughtful everyday use, and in that move, it finally transcended its intermediate years as clutter. And therein was the magic: It had become useful again. Now it has a new life, a new story interweaving with the old.

The designer William Morris famously said, “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” It’s as good a test for screening out clutter as any. All sentimental items are beautiful, I would argue, if they give us fond memories of loved ones. But what good are they if we never take them out, see them, use them? We’re neither using them nor enjoying their beauty. 

That’s why I have a special fondness for everyday heirlooms. Because they’re not precious, we can feel free to use them all the time. Through these prosaic items, we spend our ordinary days in communion with the ordinary days that came before: ordinary childhood days when I’d wake up on the nubby living room couch after a sleepover at Oma and Opa’s apartment. The smell of French toast made from Oma’s homemade raisin bread coming from the kitchen, cooked on the gas stove that she lit with the boxed matches that always sat on the counter. There was a lot of cooking at her place, and while I don’t remember the Oma pan specifically — I tended to let her wait on me — using her cookware feels like a tangible connection to who she was, what she did for us, how we spent our time. Decades apart, our hands on the same tools, doing daily work — that’s both useful and beautiful, Mr. Morris.

I’ve always been fascinated with the everyday — the way people lived at home in other eras, seeing the home of a friend who’s moved (so I can picture them there when we talk), and even what my friends put in their grocery carts. I want to see people where they are when they are most themselves, and the material things of everyday life are a part of that. 

It’s time I decluttered some neglected heirlooms — not by getting rid of them. No, I’m going to make them useful, which will save them from a life (a death?) in dusty storage. The earrings are going to the jeweler so I can wear them for the first time ever. My other grandma’s china will be coming out more often. The pretty glassware will go into more regular rotation. 

Sure, there are risks. I may break these heirlooms or wear them out or even lose them. But, this much is certain — I won’t turn them into clutter.

8:00 AM EST

August 10, 2021

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The Meaning of Family Heirlooms: Connecting Past and Present

Here's how i discovered the rich history and meaning behind my family's heirlooms..

• Lauren Thomann
• January 12, 2023

As a child, I remember being fascinated by the old photo albums my grandparents would pull out of the basement. To me, these pictures were like little windows into the past. They gave me a glimpse into my ancestors’ lives and the stories that made up our family history.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that family heirlooms are about so much more than just sentimental value. In this article, we will explore the special significance and meaning of family heirlooms. We will also discuss the valuable lessons that can be learned from these cherished items. When linked to a story, these antiques can hold a special place in our family’s history. Here’s what heirlooms are capable of doing:

Preserving Our Memories

One of the most valuable things about family heirlooms is the way they preserve our memories of our ancestors. These items can be physical reminders of important events and people in our family’s history. And this helps us to connect with our past in a tangible way.

For example, my grandmother’s wedding set has been passed down through the generations. Every time I see the rings, I think of the love and devotion that she shared with her family and my grandfather. It also helps me visualize my grandmother’s face, voice, mannerisms, and the way she would clutch at her rings. These rings keep her memory alive.

Bringing Us Together

Another important aspect of family heirlooms is the way they can bring us together. These items can serve as conversation starters and help to spark meaningful conversations between family members. They can also help to foster a sense of unity and belonging within a family, as we come together to reminisce and share our memories.

For example, my aunts and mom acquired a collection of old family photos that we loved to look through as a family. It was a special bonding experience for us. Unsurprisingly, the experience helped me to learn more about my family’s history and the people who came before me on my mother’s side.

Providing a Sense of Continuity

Perhaps one of the most significant thing about family heirlooms is how they provide us with a sense of continuity. These items remind us that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves. We are all connected to a rich and diverse family history. These items ( when not hoarded in excess ) help us to feel grounded and rooted in our family’s past. When linked to a story, these antiques give us a sense of belonging and identity.

Adding Meaning to Our Lives

Family heirlooms often hold a deeper meaning and offer valuable lessons to those who inherit them. These items can serve as a reminder of the values and traditions that have been passed down through the generations. These “reminders” can inspire us to carry on these important legacies in our own lives.

For example, my great-great-grandmother’s gold signet ring was hidden in her bun when she came to America after WWI. It is one of the only remaining items we have from her. My grandmother started the tradition of passing down the ring to the eldest single woman in the family.

She wanted this beloved possession to embody the strength, resilience, and independence of my great-great-grandmother, Anna Barbara. It took incredible fortitude for my ancestor to travel without her husband and with young children to create a better life. Every time I look at it, I am reminded of the hard work and dedication that she showed throughout her life. It inspires me to be just as diligent and persevering in my own pursuits.

So, the next time you come across an old family heirloom, take a moment to appreciate the meaning and lessons that it holds. Let it inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

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Heirloom Treasures: Exploring the Meaning Behind Family Keepsakes

Jul 20, 2023 | Analysis and Advice | 0 |

Table of Contents

Unveiling the Past: The Significance of Heirloom Treasures in Genealogy

Our family heirloom treasures are not merely objects; they are living connections to our past, windows into the lives of our ancestors, and gateways to understanding our shared history. These cherished keepsakes hold stories that transcend generations , bridging the gap between our present and the distant past.

As genealogists, we embark on a journey to piece together our family puzzle, and heirlooms play a pivotal role in this quest. Each artifact, whether it be a faded photograph, a weathered letter, or a delicate piece of jewelry, holds within it the essence of those who came before us.

The significance of family heirlooms lies not only in their material value but in the emotions and memories they carry. Passed down from one generation to the next, these treasures are imbued with the love, struggles, triumphs, and aspirations of our ancestors. They are a tangible link to the stories of those who walked the paths of our heritage, giving us glimpses into their daily lives, their dreams, and the traditions they held dear.

These cherished possessions also serve as a silent testament to the resilience and ingenuity of our ancestors. In their preservation, we honor the struggles they endured and the perseverance they displayed. By exploring the stories behind these heirlooms, we not only uncover our family’s history but also gain a deeper appreciation for the courage and sacrifices that have shaped our lineage.

Beyond their sentimental value, heirlooms are a treasure trove for genealogists seeking to piece together the intricate tapestry of their family tree. These artifacts often hold clues that guide us on our genealogical journey—dates, names, places, and sometimes cryptic notes that lead us to discover long-forgotten relatives and connections.

As we embark on the path of genealogy , we must recognize the significance of these heirloom treasures. They provide us with a tangible link to our ancestors, offering valuable insights into their experiences, beliefs, and cultural heritage. Through these time-worn keepsakes, we gain a profound understanding of our roots, and by cherishing and preserving them, we ensure that the stories of our ancestors continue to be shared with future generations.

The Sentimental Journey: Emotional Connections to Cherished Keepsakes

Amidst the tangible artifacts that pass from generation to generation, family heirlooms carry an intangible essence—a sentimental journey that binds individuals and families to their past in a profound and emotional way. These cherished keepsakes transcend mere material value, carrying within them the memories, love, and shared experiences of those who came before us.

When we hold a family heirloom in our hands, it is as if we are touching the heartstrings of our ancestors. The weathered pages of a handwritten letter, the intricate engravings on an old piece of jewelry, or the faded photograph of a long-lost relative evoke a sense of connection that cannot be replicated elsewhere. These heirlooms serve as portals, transporting us back in time to a bygone era, allowing us to walk in the footsteps of our forebears and experience their joys, sorrows, and triumphs.

Emotional attachments to family heirlooms are woven into the fabric of our identity. They remind us of the strength and resilience of those who came before us, passing on their values and traditions through these tangible objects. In the embrace of a well-worn quilt or the fragrance of a time-honored recipe, we find a link to our ancestors’ daily lives and the love they poured into every stitch and flavor.

Beyond the sentimental value they hold for individuals, family heirlooms have the power to strengthen the bonds within families. The passing down of an heirloom is not just the transfer of an object; it is an act of trust, an acknowledgment of the recipient’s place in the family tapestry. Through these acts of inheritance, the stories of our ancestors are carried forward, and the shared sense of belonging is fortified.

As we trace the emotional connections to cherished keepsakes, we uncover the ties that bind us to our heritage. These treasures become more than objects on a shelf or in a display case—they become living symbols of our shared past, present, and future. They serve as reminders of the resilience, love, and unity that have threaded through our family’s journey over time.

In exploring the emotional significance of family heirlooms, we find a deeper appreciation for our ancestors’ legacies and a sense of responsibility to preserve and pass on these treasures to future generations. Through the sentimental journey these keepsakes take us on, we learn that our family’s history is not confined to dusty books and distant dates—it lives on in the cherished heirlooms that grace our lives with love and memories.

Treasures From the Past: Examples of Meaningful Family Keepsakes

In the quiet corners of our homes lie treasures from the past—family keepsakes that carry within them the untold stories and enduring memories of our ancestors. Each heirloom holds a unique narrative, offering us a glimpse into the lives they once lived and the legacies they left behind. These cherished artifacts transcend time, preserving the essence of our familial history for generations to come.

One such cherished keepsake is a weathered leather-bound journal, lovingly filled with handwritten entries spanning over a century. Within its pages, we find the elegant script of our great-great-grandmother, recounting her daily joys, struggles, and dreams. As we read her words, we are transported to an era where horse-drawn carriages graced the streets and candlelight flickered in homes, gaining insights into her thoughts and emotions that transcend generations.

In another corner, a delicate locket lovingly passed down through the generations carries the sepia-toned photographs of a young couple. Their eyes twinkle with hope and love, encapsulating a moment frozen in time. As we hold the locket, we imagine their journey—a tale of love, resilience, and the foundation of our family’s legacy.

Among the treasures, a tattered and well-worn map unfolds, revealing journeys across continents and oceans. Tracing the faded routes with our fingers, we follow the steps of our adventurous ancestors who sought new lands and opportunities, leaving behind an indelible mark on our family history.

A handcrafted quilt, with intricate patterns and patches, also finds its place among the heirlooms. As we run our hands over the stitches, we imagine the hands that carefully stitched each piece together. The quilt becomes a symbol of unity, woven with the threads of love and the warmth of family gatherings throughout the years.

A timeworn family recipe book opens to reveal age-old culinary secrets, passed down from one generation of skilled cooks to the next. As we recreate the cherished dishes, the flavors connect us to ancestors we may have never met, igniting a sense of kinship that defies time.

Each family keepsake holds a story waiting to be discovered, a connection to our past that enriches our present. They are more than just possessions—they are keys to our heritage. Through these tangible pieces of history, we embrace the essence of our ancestors, weaving their stories into the fabric of our own lives.

These treasures from the past beckon us to delve into our genealogical journey, uncovering the intricacies of our familial tapestry. As we share these specific stories and examples of heirlooms, we inspire the preservation and celebration of our shared history. For in these keepsakes, we find not only the stories of our ancestors but also the threads that bind us together as a family across time.

Tales of Inheritance: How Heirlooms Pass Down Family Legacies

In the quiet passing of time, the art of inheritance weaves a tapestry that connects generations. Among the most cherished threads are family heirlooms—treasures that carry with them not only the weight of history but also the essence of family legacies. These heirlooms serve as vessels through which our ancestors’ stories are lovingly preserved and passed down, ensuring that their presence continues to shape our lives today.

The tradition of passing down family keepsakes transcends cultures and continents, as cherished items find new homes in the hands of the next generation. From an ornate pocket watch that once graced the vest of a great-great-grandfather to a hand-carved wooden chest that journeyed across oceans with adventurous ancestors, these heirlooms bear witness to the footsteps of those who came before us.

The significance of these precious artifacts lies not merely in their material value but in the intangible connections they foster. As a family comes together to pass down an heirloom, they engage in a profound act of storytelling, where memories and anecdotes are shared, and the history of each piece is lovingly recounted. These moments of inheritance become rituals of remembrance, ensuring that the essence of our ancestors remains alive in our hearts.

Through these tales of inheritance, family legacies are preserved and strengthened. As the weighty silverware is passed from one hand to the next at a special family gathering, the sense of belonging and continuity grows stronger. With each new recipient, the stories of the past intertwine with the present, creating a rich tapestry of shared experiences that transcend time.

Heirlooms serve as the silent guardians of family traditions. The elegant family crest embroidered on a linen tablecloth harks back to a time of gatherings and celebrations, reminding us of the unity and love that have threaded through generations. The heirloom wedding ring, worn by countless brides, symbolizes the enduring commitment that unites a family through joyous and challenging times.

Beyond the sentimental value, heirlooms play a pivotal role in preserving cultural heritage. In their possession, we hold artifacts that embody the artistic expressions, craftsmanship, and values of our ancestors. As they are handed down, these cultural treasures bridge the gap between past and present, fostering a sense of identity and pride in our heritage.

In investigating the tradition of passing down family keepsakes, we discover that heirlooms are more than just objects; they are guardians of family histories and catalysts for bonding across generations. As we receive and pass down these treasures, we partake in a timeless act of love and remembrance, ensuring that the spirit of our ancestors lives on, forever etched in the fabric of our family legacies.

The Detective’s Tool: Using Heirlooms for Genealogical Research

In the fascinating world of genealogy, where the past meets the present, every artifact and heirloom holds the potential to unlock hidden chapters of our family history. Like skilled detectives, genealogists meticulously examine family heirlooms, recognizing them as invaluable tools that provide valuable clues and resources in their quest to piece together the puzzle of ancestry.

These cherished artifacts act as portals to the past, each one concealing a trove of information waiting to be discovered. A faded photograph tucked inside an old album may reveal the faces of unknown relatives, their attire and surroundings offering hints about the time and place they lived. The inscription on a well-worn pocket watch may provide a precious clue about its original owner, connecting the threads of family branches that have long been lost to time.

Handwritten letters and diaries become treasures of immense historical value. The delicate strokes of penmanship transport us to a different era, where ink and paper were vessels for heartfelt emotions and daily experiences. Reading these intimate accounts, we gain insight into the personalities and relationships of our ancestors, weaving a more comprehensive narrative of their lives.

Beyond the words on a page, heirlooms can also reveal ancestral migration patterns. An intricately detailed piece of jewelry or clothing might bear the hallmarks of a distant land, offering glimpses into the cultural roots and traditions of our forebears. These tangible mementos become passports to the past, guiding genealogists along the paths of their ancestors’ journeys.

Heirlooms also serve as catalysts for family stories and oral histories. Gathering around a cherished keepsake, family members share memories and anecdotes that enrich the tapestry of their shared history. Each story told becomes a piece of the larger puzzle, filling in the gaps and connecting the dots of generations past.

In the digital age, technology further empowers genealogists in their use of heirlooms as investigative tools. High-resolution scanning and digital preservation techniques ensure that fragile artifacts can be shared and studied by researchers worldwide. Online databases and genealogical platforms serve as repositories of ancestral knowledge, allowing families to collaborate and piece together their collective heritage.

As genealogical detectives, we must approach heirlooms with a keen eye, recognizing their potential significance as more than just sentimental keepsakes. They are gateways to a richer understanding of our ancestors and their lives, shedding light on the tapestry of human history that binds us all together. Through the use of these detective’s tools, we embrace our role as custodians of the past, preserving the legacies of our ancestors for the generations yet to come.

Preserving History: Best Practices for Safeguarding and Displaying Heirlooms

As custodians of our family’s history, it is our responsibility to safeguard and preserve the precious heirlooms that bridge the gap between generations. These cherished artifacts carry within them the stories and memories of our ancestors, and through thoughtful preservation and display, we ensure their longevity and continued significance for years to come.

Handle with Care: When interacting with family heirlooms, always use clean, dry hands to avoid transferring oils and dirt that may cause damage over time. Consider wearing cotton gloves when handling delicate items such as old photographs, textiles, or fragile documents.

Climate Control: Choose a stable and moderate environment for storing heirlooms. Extremes of temperature and humidity can accelerate deterioration. Avoid areas like attics, basements, or rooms exposed to direct sunlight. Instead, opt for a cool, dry room with controlled humidity levels.

Acid-Free and Archival Materials: When storing or displaying heirlooms, use acid-free and archival-quality materials, such as acid-free tissue paper, archival boxes, and photo sleeves. These materials will protect the items from deterioration and chemical reactions.

Framing Artifacts: If you plan to frame heirloom documents or photographs, choose UV-protective glass to shield them from harmful ultraviolet rays. This will prevent fading and help preserve their original colors.

Proper Cleaning: Before cleaning any heirlooms, seek advice from a professional conservator or expert in preservation techniques. Improper cleaning methods can lead to irreversible damage.

Rotate Display: If you have multiple heirlooms to display, consider rotating them regularly to minimize exposure to light and dust. Store the items not on display properly using archival materials.

Avoid Direct Contact: When displaying heirlooms in cases or shelves, ensure they are not in direct contact with the glass or other surfaces to prevent sticking or potential damage.

Photograph and Digitize: To ensure a backup of valuable photographs, documents, or artwork, consider photographing and digitizing them. Store the digital copies in multiple secure locations to safeguard against loss or damage.

Professional Conservation: For severely damaged or fragile heirlooms, consult a professional conservator. They have the expertise to restore and stabilize the items while preserving their authenticity.

Share the Stories: Document the stories and history behind each heirloom. Create a family record or digital archive detailing the significance and provenance of these treasures. Share this information with younger generations, instilling in them an appreciation for their heritage.

By following these best practices for preserving and displaying family heirlooms, we honor the legacies of our ancestors and ensure that their stories continue to enrich the lives of future generations. These tangible links to the past carry within them the essence of who we are, and through careful stewardship, we can pass on the cherished memories and history they hold dear.

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• Photo by Joanna Kosinska: instant images

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When All of Your Family Heirlooms are Stories

Gina sorell on her grandmother's intangible legacy.

There were six of us cleaning out my grandmother’s apartment after she died—all women, all related, and each with a different relationship to her. We sat on the floor of her cramped one-bedroom apartment, light streaming through the windows and illuminating the dust that scattered from the covers of the books I had stacked to give away.

My grandmother hadn’t really left a will, just her wishes that her things be divided up fairly—a difficult metric to go by, as her idea of fair was always subjective, aligned with whomever was in her favor at the time. My own relationship with her was a complicated one, hindered, as I got older, by the knowledge of her shortcomings as a parent to my beloved mother. I sat among clothes bought on sale, sometimes in duplicates, the tags not yet removed, pieces of fine furniture that had travelled across continents, art books that had been read hundreds of times, and a large tin of jewelry containing the few items that she had not sold. I reached in and pulled out a hand-painted, green wooden box and a pair of silver and freshwater pearl earrings, my heartbeat accelerating at my discovery.

“Oh, I loved those,” said my cousin, “Gran used to wear them all the time. Can I have them?” She reached over to admire them, holding them up to her face to see how they looked.

“They look great on you,” my aunt said.

“You should keep them,” my other cousin suggested.

“No,” I said, surprising everyone. “Please. I gave them to her. I want them.”

It was the only thing that I had asked for all day, my voice lost to the grief of having so many questions that I would never be able to ask her.

“Of course,” my cousin answered, gently passing them back to me. “I didn’t know.”

I was surprised and moved to see that my grandmother had taken such good care of the gift I’d purchased in Florence on a school trip ten years earlier. She had loved that city, and my experience of it was colored by her stories of the beauty of the land and its people. I had found the earrings and little box at a flea market and carefully transported them back in my purse. Green is a color I never wear, and yet, the two things that I hold dear from my grandmother—the jewelry box and the last card she gave me—are both this color. The color of the trees that flanked our weekly walks, the color of the money that drove so many of her motives, and the color of envy—a vice of which I was often guilty, jealous of my younger cousin’s seemingly carefree relationship with her.

Some families have many heirlooms, things that are passed down from generation to generation, but not mine. We have stories. Stories that my grandmother would share with me on our weekly Thursday visits together. It was the one day of the week that I would have her all to myself, giving me a glimpse into her strange and wonderful adult world, a world that she did nothing to alter to meet the needs of a child.

We would meet at her apartment full of books stacked thigh high along the walls, their pages marked with old envelopes recycled into bookmarks, lines of text underlined in pencil, notes often at the margins, and set out on our adventure. Taking the pathway at the back of her building that cut through a leafy green ravine and over a wooden bridge in the middle of the city, we’d walk until we found ourselves at her favorite neighborhood café on the other side. There she would greet her friends, all regulars, eager to talk about what she had just finished reading. She’d introduce me briefly and tell me to order whatever I wanted from the menu while she sipped a cup of her diuretic tea. With no children’s menu offering grilled cheese or chicken fingers, I’d order an egg sandwich and listen in on conversations about philosophy, religion, and spirituality, my grandmother an expert in each, as I ate.

Afterward, when her friends had left, she’d tell me their stories. The lady whose husband abandoned her with two children and no financial support, the beautiful young man whom everyone believed had the makings of a real spiritual leader, the colleague who’d made themselves sick from worry and jealousy. She’d hook her arm through mine and whisper their secrets, stopping in at her favorite bookstore to pick up her latest order before leading me to the pastry shop to buy us each a decadent sweet—what she’d really skipped her lunch for. As we’d make our way back home, the conversation would switch to art and reincarnation, and always, the importance of love above all else.

Looking back, I think of how many of our conversations were not really appropriate for a child, but having never had the opportunity to be a child herself, I’m not sure that my grandmother knew that. And just as she may have had trouble seeing me as a child, I had trouble seeing her as my grandmother. I saw her, as she must have seen herself, as a girl whose broken heart never properly mended, who was damaged and drawn to kindred spirits, who understood what it was like to have loved and lost many times—first her mother, then her brother, and finally her fiancée in the war.

I heard her story the way she chose to tell it, carefully crafted and delivered, the details sometimes changed in the retelling depending on her audience or the point she was trying to make. She taught me early on that sometimes truth can be subjective, memories are ours to shape, and that perspective is everything; lessons as I writer I still carry into my work, striving as she would to empathize rather than judge the characters in my stories.

As we sorted through my grandmother’s belongings, I realized that I wanted something tangible to hold onto as well. When I looked at the earrings, I remembered the stories my grandmother told me, her love of beauty, and the vast, if hidden, impact she had on my life. It seemed to be a symbol of who we once were to one another—sources of pride and inspiration, fellow artists and dreamers, students of life, and lovers of the beauty found in simple things, like the jewelry box I held in my hand.

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Gina Sorell

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Treasure Tales: How to Write a Family Heirloom Provenance

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Have you unearthed any buried treasures lately? Not gold doubloons, but the kind of family treasures whose value is measured in people, places and memories rather than in dollars and cents.

We all groan when the experts on “Antiques Roadshow” say, “Of course, this item would be worth considerably more with a letter or some record of how it came to be in your dad’s hands.” Whether it’s the cast-iron griddle that cooked Abraham Lincoln’s flapjacks at your great-grand-aunt’s tavern or an original sketch by cartoonist Charles Schulz, an artifact’s written history (what historians call a provenance) can be the difference between obscurity and fame.

One day, you or your heirs might need to downsize a lifetime of objects. Imagine your son trying to decide what to do with all the books and mementos on your office shelves. He knows you want the genealogy books donated to the local society, but then he’s confronted with the other bits and pieces on display, unsure why they were important to you. He picks up a hand-carved wooden racer, the paint mostly gone, the wheels wobbling on the axle. Was this the one he built with you for the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby? Who knows? The little racer falls into a box headed for the trash.

The treasures in your closet may not have a presidential connection, but they’re precious to anyone in your family who knows their stories. Unlike letters or documents with names, dates and places, family artifacts are often left unlabeled and their histories get lost. Without a past, that treasure and its untold history may be tossed out. Time you spend today to identify and record the history of your treasures will give them a better chance to survive into tomorrow.

Fortunately, writing a provenance—what I call a Treasure Tale—is easy. All you need is a bit of time, your knowledge of the heirloom and your favorite writing tools. You’re the expert, and our guide will show you how to craft a Treasure Tale for each of your family heirlooms.

Step 1: Make an inventory.

The first step is to inventory your family heirlooms. If you don’t have many, start with those that come to mind first; they’re probably the most precious to you. List each item on the Treasure Inventory you can download above. At this point, all you’re doing is making an inventory, so the only information you need to record is Room, Item and Location.

If you have many treasures, you may want to tackle the project one room at a time. If you’re working room by room, walk into the space, pick a starting point and work your way around the room clockwise, listing items as you see them. Remember to look in closets, drawers and cabinets. Complete the inventory of at least one full room before you do anything else.

Step 2: Interview your heirlooms.

When you’ve completed the inventory, you’re ready to record what you know about each treasure. You will need the five questions below and one sheet of paper for each item, or a copy of the Treasure Tale Questionnaire you can download above.

Use brief phrases in answering the questions. Don’t get bogged down trying to craft carefully worded, complete sentences. We’ll come back to pulling everything together in a narrative after you get the basic facts down.

Write what you know, and resist the temptation to stop and call someone for more information or to wait until you can find out the rest of the story. Enter a question mark if you don’t know an answer; enter N/A if a question doesn’t apply.

What is it? What does it look like?

Jot down a full description of the item. Write a word picture that will allow a reader to visualize it. Use a ruler to measure it. Describe the color and kind of material. Look for clues that might date the item or give an idea of style or design. An old-fashioned magnifying glass or jeweler’s loupe may help you find a silversmith’s hallmark or handcarved initials. Take time to examine your item closely for any surprises.It’s the rare family heirloom that lasts for decades without a few scratches. Sometimes each generation adds its mark, quite literally, and that mark can be the kernel of the treasure’s story. Silver baby cups with teeth marks or a wooden box the dog tried to fetch — make note of every scar and blemish.

When did you acquire it? When was it made?

Write down this information, if you know. If you can’t remember exactly when an object came into your possession, try thinking in terms of an event it’s connected to, such as when you first remember placing that ornament on your family’s Christmas tree.What if you have only a rough idea of dates? Enter your best guess with the qualifiers about ( abt ), probably ( prob ) or unknown ( unk ). These terms alert others that you are entering questionable information, but it’s better than not writing anything.

Who were the previous owners? If the item is handmade, who made it?

Your heirloom probably belonged to someone in an earlier generation—probably many someones—before it came to you. Do your best to record the chain of ownership of your treasure. The age of the item should give you some idea of how many generations it may have gone through. Note the person who gave it to you and note anyone else who possessed it—each with full name, birth and death dates. If it’s handmade, write down who made it, too. If you determine previous ownership through an indirect means (such as a diary or news clipping), make note of this.

Where is it now? Where did you find it? Where did it come from?

Start with the present and list every place the heirloom has been, including address, city and state. Family historians just love addresses and hometowns. They help us place people in their homes and communities. Your family heirloom, just like your ancestor, may have traveled many miles before settling down. Include at least the town where the previous owners lived when they held the item. Your list of owners may help answer this question.

How did it come to you? Why is it important to you?

It may seem as though you’ve always owned the treasure, but it didn’t come out of thin air. Try to recall how or why you came to be its caretaker. You have already written down who owned the item previously and where it came from; now record how it came to you. Was it a gift for a special occasion? An inheritance? Perhaps you discovered it with an ancestor’s belongings.

Sometimes the how and why of a story are the most important, revealing tidbits of buried treasure. Make sure you write down any associated memories, traditions or stories.

Step 3: Refine your notes.

You should now have a Treasure Inventory listing the family heirlooms you hope to preserve, and a completed Treasure Questionnaire for each item. Sign and date each sheet.

After you’re done, go back and reread your notes. Think about what questions your heirs would have. Can you fill in any blanks? Now is the time to make a few phone calls to relatives who might be able to offer forgotten names, dates or places. Act like a reporter and aim to get the facts. Don’t leave anything blank.

If you’d like to tidy your writing, use the questionnaires as a starting point to craft a brief statement of provenance for each treasure. Write full sentences from your answers to create a Treasure Tale. This approach allows you to share any stories you might remember and add comments for further investigation. You may never know the full name of a previous owner, but your clues may help future family historians solve the mystery. (See the box at right for an example of a finished Treasure Tale.)

Collect all the inventory sheets and questionnaires and place them with your will and trust papers in a clearly marked envelope. Be sure to let your tell your family it’s there, and for added insurance, make copies to keep in different locations or give to each of your designated heirs.

Step 4: Share your treasures.

You’ve done the hard work—now it’s time for the fun stuff: sharing your treasures with your family.

The simplest way is to organize the information in a binder. Include all the inventory sheets as well as your Treasure Tales. You can even have the pages bound at a copy center with a cover sheet identifying your family, and add a family tree chart if you like.

If you feel energized after cataloging your collection, further document your heirlooms by taking a photograph of each item. Print the photos (or order traditional prints) and include them with the Treasure Tales. This visual catalog will help you and your heirs easily identify those valued treasures. You can also give each of your family members a copy as a gift.

If you prefer using a traditional photo album, buy one with room for notes. Place each photograph in the album in the order listed on your Treasure Inventory, and add the corresponding descriptions. You could even create a professionally printed photo book using a service such as Shutterfly or Snapfish .

It’s also a good idea to write a condensed version of your Treasure Tale to keep with the item. Print the short description, trim it down to size and slip it inside a vase or mug, tuck it into a jewelry box, or drop it into a clear polyester sleeve with a letter.

Whether you use quick notes to record the bare minimum of information or you assemble a full photo album’s worth of Treasure Tales, the time you spend today recording the history of your family’s heirlooms is vitally important. Your hard work gives your mementos a better chance of surviving and shows future generations just how precious your family’s treasures are.

Tip: Ask family members about an heirloom’s provenance—the history of an artifact, especially the record of its chain of ownership.

Treasure Tale Example

Here’s how a completed provenance questionnaire turns into a Treasure Tale:

Questionnaire answers

• What: Oval photo brooch, 1.5 inches high x 1.5 inches wide with rope frame. Back held in place with small brackets. Brooch encloses a photograph of Lucile Paulen, about age 3-5. No glass. Possibly brass. Photograph is stained and faded.
• When: Brooch found in box of letters and photographs given to me in 1996 by Aunt Sally.
• Who: Previously held by Aunt Sally Jane Smith (1926-1996), who inherited it from her mother, Arline Kinsel Brown (1890-1963). Lucile Mae Paulen was born 1908, photo probably taken 1911-1913.
• Where: Now kept in my jewelry box at our house, 123 State Street, San Francisco. Sally Smith and Arline Brown’s last address was in Santa Ana, Calif.
• Why, how: When Aunt Sally sold her house at 456 Olive Drive, Santa Ana, Calif., she moved Grandmother’s things from the steamer trunk where they had been stored into cardboard boxes. She kept the trunk and gave me the boxes filled with papers, photos and miscellaneous items.

A version of this article appeared in the January 2011 issue of Family Tree Magazine .

Denise May Levenick

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Ensuring That Family Heirlooms Are Treasured Forever

Trying to ensure that family heirlooms are treasured forever? Let's find out. “Forever” is a long time, but that is exactly the aim of valuable heirlooms like jewelry, antiques, silverware, and other treasured items. Keeping heirlooms alive is about so much more than having beautiful items from the past.

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It is about maintaining connections to past loved ones, reliving memories when we see or use beloved items, and celebrating the love of family. A recent survey has found that around 42% of people in the US have family heirlooms that are over 50 years.

Moreover, nearly seven in ten people say that some of their most cherished childhood memories involve looking through old photographs with their grandparents. And if you asked people what their most cherish items are, most say it is their family photos.

If you have heirlooms and kids or grandkids, you may wonder how to ensure their material and sentimental value remains intact throughout the years. Below are a few strategies you will find useful if you, too, believe in “forever.”

Before we continue, let's start by answering some questions, shall we?

What is the significance of family heirlooms?

Family heirlooms hold a special place in our hearts, connecting us to our past and the people who came before us. These treasured possessions often carry stories, traditions, and memories that have been passed down through generations.

They provide us with a sense of continuity and belonging, reminding us of our roots and the importance of family. Family heirlooms are material objects and symbols of our heritage and legacy.

What is the sentimental value of heirlooms?

The sentimental value of family heirlooms often surpasses their monetary worth. These cherished possessions are infused with love, memories, and emotions. They connect to our ancestors and remind us of family traditions, values, and personal experiences.

Family heirlooms can evoke a sense of nostalgia, comfort, and pride, creating a deeper bond between generations. They hold emotional significance that cannot be replicated, making them truly irreplaceable treasures.

Now that we have that cover let's discuss how to treasure that family heirloom forever.

Keeping Heirlooms in Good Condition

Keeping treasured heirlooms doesn’t involve much work, but investing time and funds in maintenance is well worth it if you want to maintain their value and boost future generations’ interest in these items.

Take jewelry. Delicate jewelry from past generations can contain stunning details like pave diamonds, gemstones, and pearls—over time; these can get dislodged from their settings.

Avoid this happening by taking items to specialists regularly for cleaning and maintenance. Try to think of the times you have been given an item with missing stones, only to keep it in a drawer for years for this very reason.

If you have items with missing pieces or components, get them fixed so they are good as new and ready to be used. The same goes for items like silverware, antique clocks, and nostalgic devices like old cameras.

In the case of silverware, for instance, set aside a time every year when you polish your entire set. If you have old clocks and gadgets, make sure they are working. If you have old items of furniture, then restoring them and fitting them with new upholstery is a wonderful way to display their full beauty.

Having Your Heirlooms Valued

Some owners of heirlooms seek to ensure that their beloved items are distributed fairly among loved ones they are no longer around. Having these items valued is a good way to achieve this goal so that they can include heirlooms in the personal property memorandum of their will.

Some heirloom owners have items valued and even purchase more items to be left to a set of family members. Take the case of a collection of gold coins featuring a collector’s set—such as American gold buffalo or eagle coins. Say you have five of these coins and seven grandchildren. You might decide to acquire gold buffalo coins to make up for the difference and ensure that each receives one coin.

The same goes for loose diamonds or other gems. Ensuring everyone receives similar heirlooms is a nice way of making everyone feel special, though, of course, you may have a very small collection of items and decide to divide your collection according to value. 

Special Moments

Many heirlooms have a strong sentimental value attached to them. For instance, you may have a locket that was given to you by your grandmother or a set of silverware you used to polish on your mother’s side.

Don’t be hesitant to distribute heirlooms according to their sentimental value. For instance, if you have various children and one of them helped you polish the same set of silverware you inherited, or you have a grandchild who was particularly close to their grandmother. It seems fitting that the item should go to them since it is part of many memories.

If you have one daughter who stood by you in tough times and helped you out when you were ill or otherwise needed them, then deciding to give them your engagement ring is completely logical. Although valuations are a nice way of keeping things “fair,” heirlooms are also about emotions, and ultimately, it is important to be true to yourself and leave items in accordance with what you feel is right.

Remember that there are always ways to ensure everyone is happy. Families can be surprisingly peaceful and reasonable in this respect. In some families, personal heirlooms are placed on a list.

Upon the owner’s death, children take turns choosing one item and continue until no more items are on the list. This way, everyone has at least one thing that is meaningful to them. If you plan on leaving specific items to people, let them and others know so there are no surprises. Try to ensure everyone has something special to remember you and your ancestors by.

Creating Duplicates

Heirlooms are not always expensive. As the introduction states, some of the most valued items are photographs. Similar heirlooms are letters and journals. It is so easy to ensure everyone has their own set of treasured family photographs and best of all; you don’t need to leave the original set to anyone in particular.

You can scan and print the photos your family wants, so you never lose possession of your photos but facilitate a copy to anyone who wants them. Pulling out your albums and having your family members identify the photos they want via Post-Its or other means is good.

You can then scan and print these out and give them as gifts to the family as a family album. Letters and journals can similarly be scanned and sent to others for prosperity.

If you are a tech whiz and you like the idea of creating a dedicated website for photographs and texts, then make a dedicated family site. Uploading items will enable everyone to access and print them independently, so you don’t need to take charge of the time and expense involved in printing. 

Choosing a Photo Gallery Website Template

If you’re not a programmer, know that creating your own website to post heirlooms on is easy if you use a template. Check out easy-to-use templates like Jevelin, Mooseoom, and Ashade for photographs.

These templates have numerous layouts to choose from, so you can select those that highlight the beauty of your precious moments in the most appropriate way. They do not require coding at all, so they are particularly well-suited to absolute beginners.

Many also allow you to connect your social network to your website, so you can let family members know when the site has been updated. They also enable you to add video and audio to add video-recorded moments to your collection of heirlooms.

Preserving family heirlooms is about more than just objects. It's about cherishing connections, reliving memories, and celebrating love. By ensuring your heirlooms are clean and well-maintained, having them valued, honoring sentimental attachments, and creating duplicates, you can ensure their longevity for generations to come.

With user-friendly website templates, sharing these precious moments with the family has never been easier. So embrace the power of “forever” and treasure your family heirlooms because they hold material value and the essence of who you are and where you come from.

Latina mom of 4 married to wonderful Greek gentleman. Living in southeast PA and trying to juggle family and a household while trying to earn an income from home. Follow my stay at home journey as I discover how to earn money and save money so we can continue to live debt-free.

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How to Document the Stories Behind Family Heirlooms

Family heirlooms connect the past to the present in a uniquely personal way. From furniture to jewelry to military memorabilia, these objects embody history and lived experiences. Passing your hands across a worn table or smoothing out the creases in a christening gown sparks the imagination of what those who came before may have felt or done. Caring for and preserving these precious items is a way to honor the past, remember family members, and even pass our heritage down to the next generation.

It is easy to lose the history behind these objects over time, however. Memories fade like old photographs and time ravages even the hardiest of hard woods. In addition to physical preservation of family heirlooms, documenting the stories behind them is an important way to carry forward their history and meaning.

The three key steps to documenting the stories behind your family heirlooms are:

• Identify your family heirlooms
• Find your expert
• Record the story

1. Identify Your Family Heirlooms

The first step is to identify the items you consider heirlooms. These could be photographs, art, figurines, baseball cards, clothing, furniture, jewelry - anything at all. It might be an item in your possession or something that a relative has in their home. It could be worth a lot of money or have deep sentimental value, what matters is that it is important to you or your family.

2. Find Your Expert

Next, figure out who knows the most about each item. Typically your best bet is to start with your oldest living relatives - or whoever passed the item down to you. There may be written accounts or old family photos. You may know enough about an item's origin to start piecing together its story, but collect any and all info you can.

3. Record the Story

How you preserve a family heirloom will vary based on the item itself of course, but at a minimum we recommend taking photos and notes and storing them with other important documents. This might be digitally, in a photo album, or even in a safe - whatever makes sense for you. Try and capture a description of the item, when and where it came from, who owned it, and what it was used for.

If you're lucky enough to have a living relative who knows the story behind an heirloom, record a video of them talking about it. You will not only capture the history of the object but also create a wonderful memento of that family member. You'll get much more nuance and emotion from a video versus a few notes on paper. Here are some questions to help get you started (or use the Remento app which has a pre-created set of prompts to make it even easier):

• What is this object?
• What was it used for?
• Where did it come from?
• Who has used it or owned it over the years?
• Why is it important? What does it mean to you?
• What memories or stories do you have about this object?
• What do you hope happens to it?
• What do you want other people to know about this object?
• Who else in our family might have a story about this?

Next up: 20 Questions to Ask Your Parents or Grandparents

Remento Staff

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Narrative Essay Sample about Heirlooms

What does family history mean? Is it heritage? Is it values? Traits? One can articulate that what I stated earlier can all be considered family history, they're all a mix that creates what we classify as family history, most of these contribute a little to how we view our own families. However, Heirlooms are the only physical representation of family history, they are passed and used by multiple generations making them sentimental and important to the generations incoming. This physical form of family history makes for great things being passed along, an interesting item I have heard of is a human bone cross from generations back, being passed on to a friend. Land is technically also a part of heritage, it allows generations to inherit the value from another generation’s work, it also allows them to experience traditions on their own land, just like people before them did. Land inheritance is such an important part of family tradition, that most places in the world have laws protecting the transfer of this asset. One can also say that money is an heirloom. The diversity of what can be considered a heirloom is massively interesting to the general public, with people showcasing their most outlandish heirlooms.

Heirlooms have always had a special place in both my paternal and maternal family lines. My paternal family line originates from a famous philosopher and mathematician named the Thales of Mellitus. My maternal family also has plenty of history, the family, the Uballits, can be traced back to the BCE era where they ruled as the kings of an empire. The maternal side of my family has always interested me, they've always been special placements in which societies over the years, during world war 1 and world war II many of the Uballits were businessmen and traders, my great grandfather was one of them. In other parts of the world, they're myths that the Uballits are involved in black magic and other witchcraft which is the reason for their good luck. Today both families have relatively normal lives and none of the people in those families have particularly important positions due to their family history. However there are many museum exhibits that showcase the history and culture of both families, both have been around since the beginning of the world wars and both are due to the efforts of British geologists. The museum exhibits have always been an area in which the actual families have not lived for very long, for example, although the Uballits were a part of Anglo-Saxon tribes they have never actually lived in London however today their museum stands in London around 3000 to 4000 miles away from where they originally ruled. This discrepancy means that many of the people who are related and who are a part of these families are not able to see the museum exhibitions more than once in their lifetime. This has resulted in some disputes in the families, and (on my maternal side) the establishment of a fund to help any of the family members who cannot afford to go. Today, there is a trade group owned by members of the family and over four thriving family businesses. 

Thales of Mellitus, was a Greek mathematician, astronomer, and philosopher. He is considered to be one of the great Greek minds in the early periods of history. Thales' most important discovery or act was when he predicted a solar eclipse accurately for the first time in human history. His standing to this day allowed for his name to be passed down through history. Today the Thales family owns multiple businesses and is involved in trading and other business Fields. Under the Thales group inc. The history of the family in mathematics, sciences and others allow its members to flourish in society under the guise of their ancestor.  Museums in Greece and mentions in history books are our main inheritance from his great heritage. In Turkey, the Greek island stands as our hometown.  

The Uballits are historical nobles in Mesopotamia and my maternal ancestors, they were known for allowing their empire to prosper and for their trade with ancient Egypt. The Uballits also have a family company today. There are museum exhibitions for the history of the Uballits in the UK, Canada, and the US. Uballit, means white in the ancient language used by the empire. The Uballits were a part of Anglo tribes that migrated to the east, they spread out across both continents after the fall of their empire. Today, Uballits can be found in many areas around the world, from Canada to Yemen, however, they are mostly found in the UK and the US. 

Overall, this essay for all intents and purposes highlights that heirlooms can be generally more than physical items, they can be a family’s influence, power, and status in a subtle way. My heirloom from my ancestors basically likely has no value in terms of monetary status, however, it definitely has a symbolic factor, it allows me to look back and literally know what my ancestors did, and how they improved the world for the best. This really is usually harder than Googling your last name, and I for all intents and purposes am forever grateful for that long-lasting heirloom.

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‘I’m glad it’s home’: A family heirloom links back to Bemidji’s founding and Indigenous history

Updated 11:02 a.m.

This story begins with an anxious exchange between an Ojibwe leader and a young settler during a period of uncertainty. Now the object central to that exchange can be found at the Beltrami County Historical Society.   

Newell Carson recently traveled over 1,000 miles from his home in Kalispell, Mont., to donate a musket gifted to his family. It came from Shaynowishkung (He Who Rattles) who was also known as Chief Bemidji.   

According to an expert gunsmith the musket was made around 1850, by a company in England. Its stock is fashioned out of what is presumed to be English walnut while the metal lock plate features an intricate engraving. After leaving England the gun likely traveled through Canada before making its way down to America. Shaynowishkung probably traded furs for the gun.

“This is where it belongs,” Newell said during a gifting ceremony at the BCHS. “It’s for the people in the area to appreciate, to enjoy it. And I’m just so happy that we’ve reached this day.”

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Early Bemidji 

Shaynowishkung is held as Bemidji’s first permanent settler. Historical accounts show he was a peacekeeper between Ojibwe people and settlers. Today he’s immortalized with a bronze statue which stands on the banks of Lake Bemidji.  

He frequented Carson’s Trading Post, the first white-owned business in the settlement. It was started in 1888 by two brothers, Marion Ellsworth Carson and George Earl Carson. Newell’s grandfather was their younger brother. His name was Joseph Evan Carson. 

Newell Carson spoke fondly about the relationship between Shaynowishkung and his grandfather. 

“Chief Bemidji for whatever reason took a liking to my grandfather as a youngster and helped him a great deal in his youth,” he said. “Growing up learning the ways of both peoples.”

Newell’s cousin is White Earth Nation health director, Dr. Carson Gardner. His first name is an homage to the family’s storied history. Gardner said family lore surrounding the gun begins with a time Shaynowishkung stopped at the trading post for supplies. The chief walked in and set his musket against a wall. Little Joseph Evan, who was 5 or 6 years of age at the time, couldn’t resist.  

“He walked over and put his hands on the loaded musket,” Gardner recounted. “And Shaynowishkung saw that and realized the danger and went right to Evan and took the gun away from him.” 

Then the chief gave the young boy a stern lecture for mishandling the firearm.  

“The story I recall as a child from my grandmother is that Evan cried and Shaynowishkung had a kind and gentle heart,” Gardner said. “And he talked to Evan and reassured him, ‘It’s OK, I’m not mad at you, you’re not going to be hurt, but you need to be careful, you could hurt yourself.’”

A family gift

In 1893, one of the Carson brothers, Marion Ellsworth, married Shaynowishkung’s daughter, Mary (Bahgahmaushequay). Then when Joseph Evan was around 9 or 10 years old the chief gifted the musket to him. 

“That is a very typical Anishinabe, Ojibwe kindness and generosity,” Gardner said. “Shaynowishkung was saying ‘You wanted this gun? We’re family now. So here it is.’” 

The musket stayed in the family. Eventually it was passed down to Newell’s father, who at the request of Dr. Charles Vandersluis, a cofounder of what would become the BCHS, loaned it to them for close to 37 years. But Newell disagreed with his father’s decision. 

“The gun has been very meaningful to me for my whole life. As a youngster I wanted to shoot it. And my father disallowed that,” he remembered. “But I was unhappy when Dr. Vandersluis borrowed it because I felt very possessive and wanted to keep it.” 

His father said the gun’s home was in Bemidji and was an important part of its history.  

After it passed to him, Newell requested the musket’s return so the gun’s provenance — its origin and authenticity — could be documented.  

“My dad said, ‘That’s where it belongs,’” he said. “And it took me years to come to realize that he was absolutely right.”

And now it has returned. 

“It’s meaningful to me, not so much to my son, much less to his daughter, and another couple generations, it will mean nothing,” Newell said. “And so, by having it here, where everyone can appreciate and enjoy it, it’s the right thing to do.”

Beltrami County Historical Society Executive Director Emily Thabes is grateful for Newell’s decision. 

“History is a living, breathing thing,” she said. “We are always learning and growing from this and so the more that people are willing to contribute to that and share their stories and share the artifacts that have so much meaning to the entire community that's such a powerful thing.” 

Thabes said because the gun was a gift to the family the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act does not apply.   

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But why did Newell change his mind about where the musket belonged? 

“Maybe it was just as simple as maturity. I don’t think there was a real tipping point. I think it was a gradual understanding that the old man wasn’t so dumb,” he laughed. “I now appreciate fully his wisdom. Because he was right. This is where it belongs. And I’m glad it’s home.” 

The musket — a goodwill testament to a bygone era — will be on display at the museum beginning June 1.  

Correction (May 16, 2024): An earlier version of this story misspelled the name of Dr. Charles Vandersluis. That has now been corrected.

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How my (many) wedding superstitions saved my marriage

Following every good-luck rule was just one way of managing my fears around making it to forever.

I was raised in a family of wildly superstitious Italians. Black cats and broken mirrors were our warm-up act. My relatives would not exit from a different door of the house than they entered, pass a baby over literally any surface, come within a hundred yards of an owl, or buy, rent or honestly even visit any property in any way associated with the number thirteen. But the rules that scared me most as a child were the superstitions about marriage. Omens about the groom seeing the wedding gown (or God forbid the bride!). Predictions about what happens if it rains on the day (nothing good in my family’s personal system of belief — yes, I know that’s opposite what the rest of the world believes). Grave guidelines for that cute old-new-borrowed-blue rhyme (my aunt bought hundreds of sixpence in the ’80s so not one family shoe would be in jeopardy). And the grandmother of them all: Never accept a vintage engagement ring. To enter marriage wearing the karma from someone else’s relationship?! Mamma mia !       

Somewhere around high school I became the gray sheep of my family in many categories (full black sheep was a step too far from the family lasagna). One among them was my unwillingness to stay in line with that long list of superstitions. I started brazenly walking through front doors then dancing out the back, and I once opened an umbrella indoors — on Christmas. Naturally I thought I would also be the first rebel bride. What modern, free-thinking woman would let ancient practices rule her love life?  

Cut to me seconds after my boyfriend of three years finally asked, “Anything I should know about your taste in rings?”

I did not breathe before yelling, “It has to be brand-new!”

Thankfully he got the (very clear) memo, but my 180 on how to guarantee a “happily ever after” only worsened in the months leading up to my wedding. I downloaded six different weather apps, hid my gown in my parents’ basement and had three backups for each old/new/borrowed/blue item (so a dozen individual items). Somewhere around considering an entire rain date wedding, I started to wonder if there was something deeper at play. Why was I suddenly so committed to following every single rule? To be clear, I think it’s lovely to honor family traditions on your big day, but for me this ran much deeper than decorating with the same lucky peonies my ancestors chose to bring prosperity.

It hit me when I tossed a straw hat onto my bed, breaking a non-wedding rule ­ without a second thought: This wasn’t about my relationship with superstition, it was about my relationship with marriage . Following every good-luck rule was just one way of managing my fears around making it to forever .

I started to see each superstition as this sort of emotional litmus test for my feelings about the future — my brain’s way of dealing with the huge life decision I was making. The real question wasn’t, “Will a rainy day, missed item or heirloom ring mean a bad marriage?” It was, “Can anything actually guarantee that I won’t end up divorced?” Not, “What if the sixpence falls off my shoe?” but “What if I fall out of love with this man?” I decided to focus my attention on trying to answer those questions before I walked down the aisle (instead of looking for a fourth something blue). What was I afraid might happen to my marriage, and why?

Once I let my fears do some talking, I realized some anxieties were based on things still unsaid in my relationship . My fiancé and I had talked about many versions of our future but never had a firm conversation about parenthood. I also realized I needed to hear all his truest feelings about being tied to a writer who might never have truly stable income. And how exactly would he react if I said, “Sorry, no cats … ever . ”? Quickly the idea of not having these very foundational talks became scarier than sitting down to hash it all out. I felt a hidden-wedding-gown-sized weight off my shoulders after we finally did. I was also more convinced than ever that I’d picked the right partner.

And yet there was still no way in hell you could have convinced me to let him see my wedding dress before the day. 

The more air time I gave my worry the more I realized that underneath it all was a deep distrust in the entire concept of marriage . The couples in my immediate family are together, but I’m a child of the ’90s. Growing up, more than half my friends split their time between Mom’s house and Dad’s house. But I was also able to see how much I craved certainty and control over my life, and how much angst I felt around the idea of the opposite. I started seeing a therapist for help working through those feelings, which were spilling over into much more than my wedding planning. At first I felt so much shame around all my uncertainty. A bride with cold feet? Mamma mia! But the closer I got to my wedding date the more pride I felt in my decision to battle the fears versus ignore them, and the more comfort I felt with all the new tools I was developing to know whether or not forever was for me.     

Any relationship is a leap of faith. Marriage takes that hope in lasting love and makes it legally binding. The truth is you can follow every single rule in the Italian superstition book (yes, there absolutely is one in print), and still not know for certain whether you’ll make it to “‘til death do us part.” To me that’s what makes the decision to enter into a lifelong commitment so incredibly romantic. You’re saying, “I know how big this is, and I’m doing it anyway.” Or as I came to decide, that’s why I’m doing it. Marriage is the biggest way that I have to say that I believe we should be together for life. 

In the end, it rained on our wedding day, and despite all the options my “something borrowed” was the same thing as my “something blue” which was — irony of all ironies — an heirloom butterfly brooch from my Italian grandmother. But on May 10, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary, and I firmly believe we’ve made it this far because of those wedding superstitions I became obsessed with over a decade ago. Walking through that process showed me that my sudden rule-following was a sign that it was time for me to examine my motivation. And I say bravo to any bride that faces those fears head-on before saying “I do.” To get married without exploring your deepest feelings about the decision?! Mamma mia ! 

Jessie Rosen got her start with the award-winning blog 20-Nothings and has sold original television projects to ABC, CBS, Warner Bros. and Netflix. Her debut novel, “ The Heirloom ,” is out now from Putnam Books. 

How to complete Family Heirloom in Gray Zone Warfare

F amily Heirloom is a straightforward task in Gray Zone Warfare, assigned by Turncoat, one of the six vendors in the game. This task is a personal request from Turncoat, who had to leave his home hurriedly, leaving behind valuable belongings in a briefcase. He asks you to retrieve them on his behalf. Although there is only one objective, you may struggle and spend a lot of time searching for the key to gain entry into his house.

However, if you know where to find the key, the task becomes very easy. This guide provides details about the task given by Turncoat, including the precise location of his house and the key, so you can quickly complete the Family Heirloom mission in Gray Zone Warfare.

Family Heirloom mission guide in Gray Zone Warfare

The Family Heirloom mission is the same for all factions in Gray Zone Warfare : Lamang Recovery Initiative, Mithras Security Systems, and Crimson Shield International.

The objective here is to locate and retrieve the valuables and report back to Turncoat .

After accepting the task, your first job is to locate Turncoat's house, which is in Nakasa Village , located north of the Fort Narith region. To find this village, open your map and zoom in near the northern side of the Fort Narith region. You will find the village there.

His house is at map coordinates 140, 135 . Once you reach Nakasa Village, finding his house is not difficult, as it is the largest in the village, a two-story building with a balcony.

Be cautious as there will be several armed AI soldiers, so avoid making hasty moves and proceed carefully. Upon reaching his house, you'll find it locked, and you will need to locate the key named Turncoat's House Key . Head to the back of the house where you'll find an open entrance with no doors.

Also read: How to complete Seeker of Change in Gray Zone Warfare

Inside, on the left side, there is a small table where the key typically spawns . However, it doesn't have a precise spawn location. Another potential location for the key is next to a planter above a covered well in the backyard . If you don't find the key on the table, check this spot as well. If the key isn't in either location, try again after some time.

Once you have the key, head inside the house and proceed up the stairs. Take an immediate U-turn to find a room. Enter the room and check under the bed to find a briefcase. Retrieve it and extract the location, then return to your base camp. Select Turncoat from the list of vendors and hand him the briefcase. This will complete the Family Heirloom mission.

Upon completion of this mission, you will receive three rewards:

• 6B23-1 armor
• 200 Reputation with Turncoat

Check out our other GZW articles:

• How to complete Hazardous Treasures in GZW
• How to complete Living In Burrows task in GZW
• How to complete EOD in GZW
• Gray Zone Warfare is bringing day/night cycle in the game as early update
• How to complete Missing Colleague in Gray Zone Warfare

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Discovering Black Family Heirlooms and the Stories Behind Them

The Narrative Projects team asked photographers to document objects that represented their family histories.

By Charlie Brinkhurst-Cuff

Times Insider explains who we are and what we do and delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism comes together.

Charlie Brinkhurst-Cuff is an editor on Narrative Projects who worked on “ Heirlooms, Redefined. ”

Tiya Miles said she was “astonished” when The New York Times reached out to her earlier this year, proposing a project about Black family heirlooms timed to Juneteenth.

Ms. Miles, a professor of history at Harvard University, has studied African American families and has written a nonfiction book that traces the story of one cotton sack . She said it almost felt as if the editors had “been inside my head.”

Though we hadn’t quite been inside her head, the project, a photo essay titled “Heirlooms, Redefined,” published on Friday, was indeed influenced by the zeitgeist of Black creativity around family, memory and discovery.

The project, led by The Times’s Narrative Projects team and conceptualized by the photo editor Eve Lyons, features a series of photos and photo illustrations by 10 Black photographers. It’s presented online in a custom visual format that allows readers to move through a grid of images and text. Each photographer spotlights a family heirloom such as a church dress, a piece of luggage or a collection of recipes.

Ms. Lyons selected photographers whose works had touched on themes of memory, legacy and history. When she’d begun reaching out to the artists, prompting them to think of objects that told a story, she said she’d hoped her request would return some kind of magic. But it was a long journey to get there.

“In most cases, there wasn’t something that immediately came to mind,” Ms. Lyons said. “It was a discovery for the photographers.”

For example, the photographer Trent Bozeman chose an emerald green piece of luggage from Sears that he’d only discovered after visiting his family’s home. The suitcase had passed through many hands in his family and represented their attempts at “upward mobility,” he said. “I realized that some of the objects that were easy for me to overlook have a great deal of importance once you understand the story behind them.”

Chanell Stone, another photographer, took sun-dappled pictures of herself wearing her great-great-grandmother’s church dress. “I didn’t even know we had it in the family,” she said. It was only through talking with her relatives that she found out it had been immaculately preserved.

After reviewing the photos together, Ms. Miles and her co-writer, Michelle May-Curry, an academic and project director, wrote text on the “stories of kinship and care across generations” that heirlooms tell and responded to each photographer’s work individually. “I think so much of what is special about albums and keepsakes and things that people hold dear in their families is that moment of discovery and that moment of revelation when you realize that you had it all along,” Ms. Miles said. She added that, for her, the photographs “brought up a number of emotions related to the questions of family and care and also Black history.”

This idea of “feeling” also inspired the digital design of the package. Antonio de Luca, an assistant editor, and Sean Catangui, a multimedia editor, both in digital news design, asked themselves: How could readers not only see the objects but feel the importance with which they moved from generation to generation?

The solution, as it turned out, also came from leaning into the main themes of the project: Black history and discovery. Mr. Catangui was reading a book about the geometric quilt-making of African American women from Gee’s Bend, a rural town in Alabama, and he settled on the idea of spacing the images in the digital package based on this idea of quilt-making. “The organic nature that you might find when you look at this actually mimics the irregularity of fabrics and layers and tradition and time and space coming together,” Mr. de Luca said.

The two had also studied game theory and design to break away from traditional storytelling forms. Mr. de Luca said he wanted the inherent discovery of game playing to feel intuitive and unpredictable, taking readers on a joyful journey.

At its heart, the team wanted “Heirlooms, Redefined” to challenge many conventions, none more so than the conception of the heirloom itself.

“When people hear the word ‘heirlooms,’ they picture ‘Downton Abbey.’ They picture Jane Austen,” Ms. Miles said. “They don’t imagine that heirlooms can be something that any of us might have — that we actually do have in this definition of heirlooms taken up by the project.”

The final piece of the package is a reader callout , encouraging people of all backgrounds to submit family heirlooms of their own that tell a story. Our belief is that everyone has an heirloom, even if they don’t realize it.

Because of an editing error, an earlier version of this article mischaracterized a book written by the historian Tiya Miles. Her book “All That She Carried” traces the story of one cotton sack, not a cotton dress.

How we handle corrections

Charlie Brinkhurst-Cuff is a senior staff editor on Narrative Projects, working across the series Black History Continued , and the former editor in chief at gal-dem magazine. More about Charlie Brinkhurst-Cuff

Social media post helps Plattsburgh family recover lost heirloom

PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. (WCAX) - A long-lost family heirloom has finally been found thanks to a post shared nationwide on Facebook.

“It was lost a really long time ago,” said Celia Bashaw of Plattsburgh. “It was lost when my mom was still alive, so she was also looking for it.”

The leopard carving was accidentally sold when the family cleaned out their grandmother’s house after she passed away. Bashaw always wondered what happened to it. A couple of weeks ago, she decided to post a message on Facebook.

“I was a little skeptical on posting,” she said. “I was like, you know, like people have so much more other things to worry about more important things to worry about than like my lost heirloom.”

The longshot post featured an old picture of her mother and family standing in front of the carving of the leopard.

The post resonated with so many people, it was shared nearly 600 times across the country, as far away as Arizona. After her post was shared nationwide, Bashaw was surprised to find she would only need to drive from Plattsburgh to Rutland to be reunited with her family’s artwork, now a family heirloom at last.

“I finally got a message from this man. And he’s like, ‘Hey, it’s so funny that you posted that because we have one just like it,’” Bashaw said.

“I says, ‘Oh, my god.’ I says, ‘We have one just like that,’” said Chris McKirryher of Rutland.

Down in Rutland, McKirryher and her partner, Phil Matte, made the connection.

“Sent chills. And here’s she’s looking for this and we have one, you know, and it was just amazing,” McKirryher said.

McKirryher and Matte love to go to yard sales and found the piece a few years ago at a sale in Pittsford. They contacted Bashaw and decided on a very reduced price she could afford, and she was reunited with the wood carving again.

“With all the bad news and everything going around, it’s good to see something really nice,” Matte said.

“There’s enough bad in the world,” McKirryher agreed. “You know, you gotta have a little good, good, a lot of happiness.”

“It’s like a one-in-a-million chance,” Bashaw said. “They made it important to them because it was important to me. So that’s everything that compassion, you know, it’s just it shows.”

Bashaw plans to pass the carving down to her daughter.

For now, when she looks at it, it’s a reminder of her mother’s love and the kindness of strangers.

“I wish I could tell my mom about it right now,” Bashaw said. “She would be so elated. Like she was looking for it forever.”

Copyright 2024 WCAX. All rights reserved.

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