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"The Piano"

Favorite Quote: "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -Albus Dumbledore

The magnetic pull of eighty-eight black and white keys on my fingers was present even before my first piano lesson. It started with my mom. She was set on her children having musical knowledge, since she never had the opportunity to take lessons when she was growing up. So, when I was 6, I started playing violin. However, I spent more time trying to plunk out the violin sheet music on the old upright piano in our living room than I did actually practicing the violin. My mom took notice, and I switched over to piano lessons. The itch in my fingers to play has only grown as I’ve grown older. I find myself seeking out a place to play whenever I have free time and wherever I am: at school, friend’s houses, and even on vacation. Sitting on the piano bench with my fingers on the keys, I am at home, even if I’m thousands of miles away from my house. The moment I sit down at a piano, I unconsciously let out a huge breath, like I’ve been holding it in since the last time I played. A wave of serenity washes over me as I twiddle my hands for a second, deciding where on the keys to start. As my fingertips meet the cool, smooth ivories, my worries vanish. All the cares of the day fade away with the first note; any problem can be resolved by resolving a chord. The world fades to the black and white of the keys in front of me. Playing piano is therapeutic for me because I can take a break from the stress of reality and express my feelings through the music I play. Suddenly, emotions that, in my head, are swirling and confusing can be released through my fingers into musical patterns. I can spend hours at a piano without realizing the passing of time. Lost in music has always been my favorite place to be, and the piano is my favorite place to get lost. There have been several low points in my life where I’ve wanted nothing more than to get lost. During those moments, the piano was a constant source of consolation and comfort. Music has been there for me at times when no one else has. To be able to spread that support and inspiration to others through my own playing is one of the reasons I love to play so much. Piano is an incredibly expressive instrument. It is easy to connect to others while playing, whether it’s through a dramatic, complicated piece that touches on people’s heartstrings or the simple chords of Top 40 tune that get everyone singing and dancing along. Yes, I get lost in the music, and love to encourage others to do the same. But being at the piano is a powerful place for me to be because more often than not, I have found myself there. Playing piano has allowed me to discover and shape bits of myself that otherwise would’ve gone unnoticed. It gave me a channel for my emotions and a pathway to expressing my individuality. Meticulous practice has reaped for me the rewards of a solid work ethic, patience, and other disciplines. When writing my own music, my creativity and imagination can run free. Playing piano gives me a voice that can stand out in a crowd, and I am confident in that voice. These qualities I have learned and developed have followed me into areas of my life outside of music, allowing me to face day-to-day life with more certainty in myself and my abilities. Sitting on a piano bench with my fingers on the keys is the happiest and most familiar place for me to be because it is the easiest place for me to be myself.

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College Essay: Music Opens Doors

The beauty of the piano was that it became a large part of who I am. The consonant and dissonant sounds of jazz, classical, and modern music fill my limbic cortex with everlasting joy. Music has helped me cope with the loneliness of childhood and to gain self-confidence, and leadership.

My love for music will always be a center of my life even if college and career take me elsewhere. The piano also has led me to pursue other interests such as poetry, acting, biology, writing, and computer programming, including after-school extracurricular activities such as College Possible, Jazz Band, and Piano Club.

I did not fit in with classmates during my childhood years. I was somewhat awkward and aggressive, bored and very lonely.

On a sunny afternoon at my cousin’s house, I became fascinated with the piano as I heard my cousin play a solemn tune that sparked inspiration deep in my atria. I asked my father that day to buy me a piano. He did, and I taught myself. I sat down at my family’s electric piano more and more. YouTube videos, music lessons, and simple practices. Slowly, the piano became part of who I am.

The bliss of listening and playing my favorite pieces on piano always excited me. Despite the difficulty learning everything by myself, I felt the need to feel the pleasant sounds bring a chill down my spinal cord and that I wanted to finish it to the end.

I developed muscle memories on piano pieces without having to look back at the recording. Then I progressed on to play piano pieces by watching Synthesia piano tutorials, analyzing pieces by ear, learning how to read music notations, and how to improvise using major and minor scales.

Although I was able to learn and complete complex piano pieces, I wasn’t able to share my playing with anyone else.

That changed when I was a high school freshman when I was asked to play in a piano class. I felt insecure and pressured wondering whether my music teacher would disapprove of my style and seeing other students gaze stiffly at me. I laid my fingers on the polished wooden white and black keys and let loose the sounds of a summer vacation tune as if I were free to do anything I wanted. Free from the pressure and insecurity.

I had never had the feeling of performing in front of audiences before. To have my accomplishment acknowledged as they applauded made me feel at home. It was an insight that was sudden and new to me like receiving a jolt of nourishing life from a lightning strike. It has helped me gain self-confidence not only in music, however into making new friends too.

Playing the piano strengthened my character in other ways, too. I became president of the Piano Club. It was fun, but I recognized that I lacked the leadership skills for the job. So I dedicated most of my summer my freshman year to developing leadership skills in a program called the Center for Hmong Arts and Talents or CHAT. I created songs with friends and learned to improve expressing myself on stage and attracting me to other summer opportunities.

I’ve changed my life significantly. I’ve become self-driven in music, schoolwork, and discovering new opportunities — competing in musical competitions, volunteering, performing as an actor as well as a musician, trying to bring joy in communicating to audiences.

Although I may not major in music (following my parent’s wishes), my eyes have been opened to so many other areas of interest, especially in arts and communications, where I can make a contribution in college and career.

ThreeSixty Journalism,

a nonprofit program of the College of Arts and Sciences at the University of St. Thomas, uses the principles of strong writing and reporting to help diverse Minnesota youth tell the stories of their lives and communities.

Home — Application Essay — Liberal Arts Schools — Finding My Melody

Finding My Melody

University: Lehigh University

About this sample

Words: 441 |

Published: Jul 18, 2018

Words: 441 | Pages: 1 | 3 min read

As a musician, I have always been drawn to the sound of the piano. It is an instrument that can convey a wide range of emotions and has the power to move people to tears or to make them dance. I have always admired pianists who can play with such skill and emotion, and it was a close family friend who inspired me to pursue a career in piano performance.

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Watching my friend play the piano was like watching a master at work. He had a natural talent for the instrument, and his passion for music was evident in every note he played. He inspired me to take up the piano, and I soon found that I had a talent for it as well.

As I continued to learn and grow as a pianist, I discovered that there was so much more to music than just playing the notes on a page. Music is a language, and it has the power to connect people from all walks of life. I became passionate about sharing my love of music with others, and I knew that I wanted to pursue a career in piano performance so that I could continue to inspire and connect with people through music.

As I began to research colleges and universities that offered music programs, I knew that Lehigh University was the perfect fit for me. The university has a long and distinguished history of excellence in the arts, and I was impressed by the quality of the faculty and the resources available to students in the music department.

In addition to pursuing a career in piano performance, I am also committed to academic excellence. I am proud to have achieved a high level of academic success in high school, and I am eager to continue my studies at Lehigh University. I am confident that the university's rigorous academic programs will challenge me and help me to develop the skills and knowledge I need to succeed both as a musician and as a scholar.

I am excited about the prospect of joining the Lehigh University community and immersing myself in the rich culture of music and academics that the university has to offer. I believe that my passion for music, combined with my academic achievements, make me an ideal candidate for the university's music program and scholarship opportunities.

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I am committed to pursuing my dreams of becoming a professional pianist and using my talent to inspire and connect with others through music. With the support of Lehigh University, I am confident that I can achieve my goals and make a positive impact on the world through my music.

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Student Essay

Written by Claire Benedict, May 2019 I quit piano at age nine. After asking my mom to cancel lessons in a maelstrom of distress, I struck it off my weekly calendar with the aggressive scribble of pen. No more arguments and lectures with my parents about practicing. No more scales. No more arpeggios. No more metronome. I was free. However, I soon began to miss it. I missed the feel of the keys underneath my fingers, the weight of them, the decay of each note just milliseconds after it is hit, and the perfection of an authentic cadence. So, my parents enrolled me in Sherry VanOveren's studio and I continued my study. I soon grew to like playing the piano, having fun with Ms. Sherry's interactive games and exciting musical selections. Though my parents still prodded me to practice, I became much more accepting of it. I thought of it as a pleasant chore, as just another part of my education. However, I did not think it would be forever a part of my life until years later, at age 14. In my basement one night, with the space heater on full blast, I clumsily clunk through the first page of Mozart's Fantasia in D minor. I am awestruck by its beauty and complexity and instantly connect with it. I experience this feeling again when I perform it at my recital. Up to that moment, that piece, that performance, I did not feel like a musician. When playing music, there is a subtle, yet vast difference between reading notes on a piece of paper, hitting appropriate keys, and observing various crescendos and sforzandos versus using your whole body, mind and soul. Instead of using the piano as a separate entity to play music on, true musicians create music themselves and use the piano to convey it. They can transform two-dimensional black lines on white paper into perfect and multifaceted concepts of beauty and color and sound and feeling. When I performed Mozart's Fantasia in D minor, I finally felt like I was the one making the music, not the piano. I had taken a piece created centuries ago, played by thousands and thousands of people, and made it uniquely mine. Now, playing and practicing the piano is like breathing—natural, effortless, and essential. When I am overwhelmed with my studies, I simply walk across to the Schimmel and float into a peaceful world of melody and dissonance. In college, I believe that continuing piano will be indispensable for my studies and my mental wellbeing. It is a way to use and challenge my brain in different ways—outside the scope of math or english—and allow me to express emotions that cannot be communicated through words or actions Through constant study, I can expand my repertoire and improve my technicality and musicality. When I pay at dinner parties and at my church, many people comment on how they "wish they had kept playing". I do not want to make the same mistake. In college, I can also connect with professors and fellow musicians. Through years at Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp, a two week intensive in northern Michigan, I have found that there is a natural affinity among musicians, something that I want to develop in college as well. Finally, I want to continue music to share it with others. There is nothing in the world like my friends' sense of wonder when I perform a flamboyant and booming Beethoven or Grieg or my grandfather's tears when I play him the first refrain of a Chopin Nocturne. I want to continue piano in college because ever since performing Mozart's Fantasia, I have become utterly and eternally tied to the piano. I have become a musician. Start Your Journey

Can I use piano as my topic for my common app essay when it's also going to be listed in my activities section? Answered

I'm wondering if the activities you want to talk about in the common app essay (prompt #1) have to be separate from any activities that you'll list in the common app activities section. I've played the piano for more than 11 years, so it's what I want to talk about for my common app essay, but I don't know if that's a good idea if I'm also going to talk about it in my activities section. Please help!

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I would say, absolutely yes. Admissions counselors want to see you when they read your personal essay, and if writing about piano is the best way for you to show them that, then by all means do it. Oftentimes people say that the essay is to show parts of yourself that you haven't been able to do, and this is true, but going into further depth about your passions is a great option.

You only have 150 characters to describe your involvement in the activities section, so if there's a lot more you think needs to be known for someone to understand you, or if piano has shaped who you are as a person, I think you shouldn't hesitate to share it. It might be a good idea to share a specific anecdote or lesson piano has taught you as well.

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Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

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Here’s The College Essay That Got A High School Senior Into Every Ivy League School

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20 Successful College Essay Examples + Why They Worked (2023)

Today I'm going to show you 20 essays that worked that will help inspire you and start you on your way to writing your own successful essays.

In this post, I've included:

Personal Statement examples
Supplemental essay examples
University of California essays
Links to hundreds more essay examples

If you're looking for college essay examples, you've found the right place.

Let's get started.

Writing your college essays can be challenging.

And in 2023, with many schools dropping test scores from their application, your college essays are one of the most important parts of your application if you want to get accepted.

That means there's a whole lot more opportunity for students without the best SAT or ACT scores to boost their chances of admission by writing outstanding essays.

20 of My Favorite EssaysThatWorked

One of the best ways to write your own successful essays is to read and learn from past essays that worked.

Here's 20 of our favorite college essays examples. From Personal Statement examples to "Why this college?" supplements, find any type of essay you're looking for.

I've chosen these examples because they represent almost every type of essay you'll need to write.

Plus, they are all high-quality examples that have an authentic voice , one of the most important parts of a great essay.

Personal statement essay examples.

1. The Itch
2. Paint Dance
3. Football Manager
4. Restaurant Job

Additional Personal Statement Examples

Additional Common App Essay Examples

University of California Essay Examples

5. Summer Counselor
6. Teaching Talent
7. Linguistics
8. Linguistics Society
9. New Perspectives

Supplemental Essay Examples

10. Fermat's Last Theorem
11. Bug Fixing
12. Why UPenn?
13. Story of My Name
14. Ideal College Community
15. Why Computer Science
16. Volunteering at Hospital
17. Why Carnegie Mellon
18. Why NYU?
19. Moving Places
20. Double Major

Ready to get inspired to write the next great admissions essays?

Let's jump right in.

Part 1: Personal Statements That Stand Out

Essay Examples: Writing the Personal Statement

Your Personal Statement essay is arguably the most important essay you'll write.

Since it's sent to every college you apply to, you need to carefully choose how you use your 650 words.

In this section, I'll show you several examples of successful Common App essays accepted into the most selective colleges.

Let’s dive right in.

Most students write their personal statement essay on their Common Application.

That's why it's called your Common App essay .

If you're having trouble starting your essay, be sure to check out some Common App inspiration .

Here are some of the best Common App essay examples that have gotten students into top colleges.

Below are some of our favorite personal statement essay examples from the Ivy League and other top-20 colleges.

College Essay Example #1: The Itch

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Stanford University .

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

Slowly, my passion emerged from pretense and envy into reality.

Why This Essay Works:

This essay is all based upon the metaphor of "the itch" representing a desire to understand the world. By using a central theme, such as a metaphor, you can create a thread of ideas that run throughout your essay. If you want to use a metaphor, make sure it clearly relates to the idea you're trying to express, rather than choosing one just because it is a creative or unique approach. In this case, there is perhaps no better metaphor than "the itch" which would capture their main idea, so it works well.

Instead of "telling" their ideas, this essay does a lot of fantastic "showing" through specific anecdotes. Sentences like "I learned to sing the blues before I knew the words..." capture a lot about the author's character and background without having to say it outright. By showing the reader, you allow them to draw their own conclusions rather than just having to accept what you're telling them. Using specific language also creates a more vibrant and interesting essay. Rather than saying "I loved learning as a kid," this student shows it using a concrete example: "my favorite book was an introduction to fulcrums".

Writing about other people in your essay can be a great way to tell things about yourself. Known as a literary "foil," by describing other people you can show your own values without stating them plainly. In this essay, the author shows their value (of being passionate about learning) by first recognizing that value in somebody else, "Kikki" in this case. By writing about people in your life, you can also create a sense of humility and humanity. Nobody is an "island," meaning that everyone is influenced by those around us. Showing how you draw inspiration, values, or lessons from others will show more about your character than simply telling admissions would.

In general, listing activities in your essay is a bad strategy, because it is repetitive of your activities list and comes across boring. However, this essay manages to list their activities in the 3rd-to-last paragraph by connecting them to a central idea: how their newfound passion for learning sparked all these new engagements. Listing activities can be okay, but only if they have a clear purpose in doing so. In this case, the purpose is to show how these activities are representative of their new passion for learning. But the purpose for listing activities could also be to show a specific value, provide examples for your idea, demonstrate your new perspective, etc.

College Essay Example #2: Paint Dance

This Common App personal statement was accepted into Williams College .

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

This student uses figurative language, particularly personification, which makes their writing more engaging. Rather simply telling a story plainly, implementing aspects of creative writing such as metaphors, personification, and symbolism, can engage the reader in your story.

This essay deals with their struggles—particularly in overcoming fear of failure while painting. By showcasing your challenges, you not only create a more relatable persona, but it makes your successes far more impactful. Everyone has struggles, and reflecting upon those challenges is what will help you convey self-growth.

What They Might Improve:

Although this student reflects on the concept of fear, they don't go much deeper than surface-level reflections. This essay does pose some interesting questions, like "Why was I afraid of something I had not yet encountered?" but these questions are cut short and not satisfyingly explored. Admissions officers are impressed with genuine, deep reflection. To get there, you need to push past surface-level takeaways and try taking your ideas always one step further.

"Fear" is a central theme of this essay, but the main idea of overcoming fear is repeated excessively, without adding new ideas. It is important that your essay "goes somewhere" and doesn't stay stuck at the surface of your ideas. You want to go deep into your ideas, which means avoiding repetition at all costs, and only referencing a previous idea if you're adding something new: a new perspective, context, nuance, broader application, etc.

College Essay Example #3: Football Manager

This Common App personal statement was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.

The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.

Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.

More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.

In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.

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College Essay Example #4: Restaurant Job

This Common App personal statement is an accepted Tulane essay .

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

Piano Man plays on repeat in Used To Be’s Island Eatery, a high-volume bar and restaurant in the town of [Location] on the Jersey shore. Balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools, chatting and laughing about their lives.

Rather than "telling," it's important to always back up your points by "showing." This means using anecdotes, examples, and specific references to help the reader come to the same conclusion as you. Anybody can "tell" things, but by showing them you are giving proof, which makes your points more convincing and compelling.

An effective strategy for having interesting ideas is to reflect upon what you've learned as the result of an activity or experience. Lessons are important because they show self-growth, which admissions officers are looking for. It can also be a good idea to compare and contrast your lessons with other areas of your life. For example, how do your lessons from an extracurricular activity differ or translate over to your academics? Or vice versa?

One of the most common "mistakes" in essays is to not go deeper into your ideas. Most students gravitate towards surface-level ideas, which can be a good starting point, but should ideally be taken further. Admissions officers have read thousands of essays, so it's important that your ideas are unique, specific to you, and interesting. To get to those "deeper" ideas, keep asking yourself questions. For example, if you start with the idea of "positivity is key for this job," then keep asking yourself "Why?" Repeat that process many times and think critically, and eventually you'll come to more interesting and compelling ideas.

Avoid writing like fiction books, which have lots of descriptions that build a world or environment. Instead, only describe the things that matter to your main point. Since you have a limited number of words to use, it is vital that each sentence has a clear purpose. In this essay, many descriptions are ultimately unnecessary to their main point. Does it matter that "balding men and blonde women sway to the song as they sit on the wooden barstools"? No, and this only distracts from what is ultimately more valuable: your ideas and reflections.

Want to read more Common App essay examples?

If you're looking for more outstanding Common App essays, check out our Common App guide with examples.

For more, check out our list of top personal statement examples .

Part 2: UC Personal Insight Questions

Essay Examples: UC Personal Insight Questions

Your UC essays are more important in 2022, now that UC's have dropped SAT and ACT scores from your application.

And if you're looking to write great UC essays, the best place to start is by learning from essays that worked in the past.

If you're looking for tons of UC essay examples, you're in the right place.

Every student applying to University of California must write four Personal Insight Questions. Each short essay must be fewer than 350 words each.

Check out our guides and examples for UCLA essays and UC Berkeley essays .

Within those posts, you'll be able to read dozens of the best UC Personal Insight Questions.

College Essay Example #5: Summer Counselor

This essay was accepted into UCLA .

UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

Each summer for the last eight years, I have attended a four-week residential summer camp on Orcas Island, first as a camper and more recently as a staff member. As a counselor-in- training last summer, my role shifted from one centred around my own enjoyment to one catering to the fulfilment of others. I welcomed this change of pace gladly, as the ability to positively impact the next generation of campers in a similar way to how my own counselors impacted mine thrilled me.

At first, I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself, as I was daunted by my new responsibility as staff. However, my uncertainty dissipated when one of the campers I had worked closely with in the sailing classes I taught wrote me a heartfelt letter towards the end of the session claiming that spending time with me had been one of the highlights of his summer. This small affirmation struck me deeply, and I was incentivised to continue putting all my energy into hopefully similarly affecting as many others as I could.

One of the most challenging parts of the summer was when I acted as an assistant counselor to a group of six 2nd-grade boys for a week, living with and supervising them for the whole time. I recall one particular moment when all six started yelling over the minor grievance of whose turn it was to take the dirty dishes back to the kitchen that meal. I tried diffusing the situation peacefully but, in the end, it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down. It was tough for me to take a harder line with them, but it was a valuable lesson that being assertive, yet still kind, is an effective method for future situations.

I cannot wait to apply for a full counselor position next summer, as each year I learn more from camp about what it is to be a compassionate leader, a convincing role model, and a team player.

Specific Example : For UC essays, it's important to directly and clearly answer the prompt. This student does a good job of using a specific moment that clearly answers the prompt.
Honest About Challenges : You don't have to present yourself as a perfect human being. Instead, by showing your flaws and challenges, it makes you more relatable. This student does that well by admitting: "I was unconvinced that I was being the role model I had envisaged of myself."

What They Might Change:

Give More Details : In addition to stating "...it required a firmer stance to get them to calm down," it's better to show this. How did you act in that moment? How can you illustrate that assertiveness, without just stating it?

College Essay Example #6: Teaching Talent

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

My greatest talent is teaching. I love the opportunity to help others and seeing them develop and improve as a result of my input is always so rewarding.

My principle teaching outlet is as a diving coach. My favourite part about this job is that it is so dynamic, and each session is different. Some days the divers are in a great mood, dive impressively, and will jest with you nonstop which, being extroverted, fills me with energy and is a genuinely enjoyable evening. These sessions are so easy to coach as you can present yourself as a friend to the divers and deepen the trust that exists between you. However, other nights the kids are tired and unenthusiastic and coaching becomes far more challenging. I have to be stricter with them while simultaneously finding ways to motivate them, such as introducing little competitions or rewards for training hard. Over time, I have gotten much more confident at adjusting my coaching attitude towards the signals I pick up from the divers and it has made my job significantly easier.

This year, I have taken on the additional responsibility of leading the Learn to Dive squad, the largest group of divers at my club. At first, it was tough for me to adjust to my new role as it entailed more work with other coaches, helping them to develop their own coaching ability and monitoring the progression of their divers, as well as with kids of my own. However, I have grown to love this new element of my job, despite the challenge of instructing coaches older than myself, as it has forced me to develop my teaching ability in new ways. I have had to analyse my own teaching methods in order to explain them to other coaches and this both helped them to understand how to improve, but also allowed me to refine and develop how I coach my own divers.

Teaching is such an important part of my life because it allows me to learn and increase my own knowledge while making a positive impact on others.

College Essay Example #7: Linguistics

This Personal Insight Question essay was accepted into UCLA among others.

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

While reading Tolkien's The Silmarillion , I was struck by the elegance of the Elvish script he included. Upon further research, I discovered that he had created an entire language – Quenya – to accompany the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The idea that a language could be crafted and cultivated like a piece of art was both illuminating and inspiring to me. I had heard of Esperanto previously, but I believe Tolkien wasn’t trying to change the world with his creation. His goal was simply to create a language for the pleasure of it, and to enrich his storytelling and worldbuilding.

The revelation that language could be more than just a tool for communication triggered a love for linguistics that persists to this day. I voraciously tore through reference grammars and college textbooks alike, including An Introduction to Historical Linguistics by Lyle Campbell.

I even tried to emulate Tolkien and create a language of my own. Whether at school taking classes in Spanish, French, Italian, Latin, and Ancient Greek, or at home studying the phonology of Brazilian Portuguese on my own, languages excited and motivated me to learn more. I was awarded the Arthur Beatty award for outstanding linguist in the year as a result of my dedication to the language program at school.

Watching Game of Thrones reintroduced me to conlanging in the form of Dothraki and rekindled my interest, prompting me to write my IB extended essay on the historical etymology of Spanish. It was a challenging project, but I loved every minute of my research. While my friends were lamenting their boredom at poring over endless journals on topics they didn’t enjoy, I was studying a subject for which I am truly passionate. I hope to continue my study of language in university, and one of my goals in life is to be trilingual. I have no doubt that languages will continue to inspire me throughout life, and I hope to be able to share some of this passion with others along the way.

College Essay Example #8: Linguistics Society

Here's another UCLA essay that worked.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

Throughout my time at school, I have tried to share my passions and interests with others in various ways.

With the help of a friend, I reinvigorated and reinvented the school linguistics society, transforming it from a dull discussion of past exam questions to a seminar-style session where I have presented and analysed various interesting aspects of language. We have covered topics ranging from phonetics to historical sound change, and it has attracted a loyal troop of linguists who relish the weekly meetings almost as much as I do.

I have also channelled my passion for teaching into volunteering as a Spanish teacher at another local elementary school. Leading a class of thirty students can be a challenge, mainly as that many students are often hard to control. Nevertheless, I have planned and carried out lessons there each week for the last three years and have learnt a lot from it. I have found that as my confidence has grown, so the students have started to listen to and respect me more. They gain more from the lessons, as is evident from their progress at the end of each semester, and my enjoyment and fulfilment has risen. I am glad to have had a positive impact on their learning, and that I have been able to teach a subject that genuinely interests me.

Finally, I was appointed as a school prefect for senior year. In this role, I have been involved with a number of charity initiatives, such as organising bake sales and sponsored sporting events to raise money for the Make a Wish foundation, as well as various pastoral activities such as mentoring incoming freshman and guiding prospective parents around the campus. I love being a prefect as it allows me to give something back to the school that has been a huge part of my life for the last several years. I hope my legacy is that students feel more comfortable and confident in the school environment, and that they are inspired to become leaders as I have been to give back to the community in turn.

College Essay Example #9: New Perspectives

This essay was accepted into UC Berkeley .

Seconds after our teacher announced our project groups I heard the familiar, pitchy voice of the most irritating person in the class yell my name. Just like my worst nightmare, I had been put in a group to work with Eva; the annoying girl who had a weird obsession with horses. At that moment, I knew that it was going to be the longest project of my life.

Eva was extremely difficult to work with; she would always interrupt me, stubbornly stuck to what she wanted, and did not listen to a thing I said. Two weeks of tension and no progress flew by until one day during class, Eva went on another ramble about her horses.

Although I wasn't ready to hear her talk about horses again, I let her continue. What was another rant about horses turned into a conversation about the mental disorders Eva faced and how she relied on horse riding as therapy. After that conversation, our progress took a complete 180. I was eager to learn more, and we finished the project with more purpose and meaning. My perspective changed entirely.

I was moved by Eva’s passion for horse riding and encouraged her to start a club on campus where she could share her passion with others. Beyond this project, I helped Eva defend her riding center during city council meetings because it was on the verge of being shut down. In exchange, working with Eva taught me how to be more open-minded, more patient, more understanding; values of which I personally lacked my entire life. I began to cooperate with people with a more accepting and considerate mentality, understanding that people work in different ways.

I’m glad I chose to work through the project with Eva because I grew as a leader in a way that I would have never expected. I know I could have easily done the project by myself, but instead, I worked through our disagreements and bickering. Sharing this experience with Eva unearthed my ability to lead using patience and understanding, which are now essential assets to my leadership capabilities.

Part 3: Supplemental Essay Examples

Many top colleges require students to supplemental essays.

Each school may ask different prompts or none at all. And often your answers will be more specific and directly about the school.

In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts, from "Why this college?" to major and area of study questions

Let's jump into the essays.

In addition to the your personal statement or statement of purpose (SOP), many colleges also require supplements.

These supplemental essays are often specific to the school and ask you to answer a specific question, such as "Why this college?" or "Why this major?"

In this section, you'll find supplemental essay examples from top universities. I've included a variety of prompts to cover common supplemental prompts that you may encounter.

College Essay Example #10: Fermat's Last Theorem

This supplemental essay was accepted into Cornell University .

Prompt: Cornell Engineering celebrates innovative problem solving that helps people, communities…the world. Consider your ideas and aspirations and describe how a Cornell Engineering education would allow you to leverage technological problem-solving to improve the world we live in. (250-650 words)

For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to show ways you imagine being involved on campus. This student does a great job of showing that they've done their research about Cornell, by connecting their passion for studying heart disease to specific initiatives already taking place on campus. Try researching what events, research, or programs are being conducted. By referencing those specifics, you can create convincing reasons of why this school is fit for you.

When discussing your intended area of study, one effective strategy is to identify a problem that you see. This problem can be in the field itself, your community, or the world. Then, you can connect this problem to yourself by showing how you'd want to help solve it. Don't try to tackle it entirely yourself, but show how you'd "take bites" out of this larger problem. It is also important that you identify potential solutions to the problem. You definitely don't (and shouldn't) have all the answers, but what do you see as potential steps for combatting the issue?

Using technical language, such as referencing "semi-elliptical curves" and "modular form" in this essay, will help show your in-depth knowledge and passion. Don't be afraid to use technical jargon like this, and don't worry if admissions officers may not know all the terms. As long as they have context and knowing the terminology isn't critical to understanding your point, including "nerdy" language will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your intelligence.

If you have personal connections to the school you're applying to (such as legacy, family members who work there, students or faculty you're close with), it can be a good idea to reference those connections. Showing personal connections to the school makes admissions think, "They're already practically one of us!" Just make sure that these connections aren't contrived: only write about them if you have a clear purpose within your essay for introducing them. In this essay, the student references their brother who attended Cornell, but does so in a way that naturally ties into the rest of their reasons for "why Cornell."

College Essay Example #11: Bug Fixing

Here's another Cornell essay that worked .

Prompt: Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests? (650 words max)

College Essay Example #12: Why UPenn

If you enjoyed the UPenn Common App essay , here's a supplement that was also accepted into the University of Pennsylvania .

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (650 words max)

This essay does a great job of conveying a thoughtful and candid applicant. Their phrasing, although verbose in some places, comes across genuine because the author walks you through how they learned about the school, what they're looking for in a school, and why the school would offer those specific things. Phrases like "I didn't know if I could honestly see myself studying that" are conversational and natural-sounding, which help create a sincere tone.

By referencing specific programs, like "Penn in Washington" as well as various minors and concentrations, it is clear this student has done their research about the school. One of the most important aspects for a "Why Us" essay is to find specific and unique opportunities and name them in your essay. These could be things like specific professors and their work, campus and its location, interesting classes, unique internship/study-abroad/job programs, special events, and many more. The key is referencing things that are entirely unique to the school and not many other schools too. Avoid broad terms like "renowned faculty" or "interdisciplinary studies" because virtually all colleges offer things like this, and these are some of the most over-used and artificial reasons used in "Why Us" essays.

This essay has many moments of repetition that are unnecessary. In general, avoid repeating your ideas and when editing, ask yourself of each sentence: does this add something distinctly new and important to my essay? There are two common mistakes that often create repetition: prefacing your ideas and summarizing your ideas. Unlike academic writing, you don't need to "prepare" the reader for what you're going to say, and you don't need to conclude it with a summary. By doing so, you only create unnecessary repetition and take up words which could otherwise be used to include new specific details or ideas.

This essay spends nearly half of its words explaining the "interdisciplinary" opportunities at UPenn. However, this reason is quite superficial and not at all unique to Penn, as almost all colleges offer some sort of interdisciplinary study (i.e. combining your interests or studying multiple fields). Talking about "interdisciplinary study" is one of the most common reasons students use in their "Why Us" essay, and it often comes across as generic and unoriginal. Instead, look for offerings that no other (or very few other) schools provide. Narrow down your reasons "why" to make them more specific to the school, even if they are smaller scale. You can mention things like "interdisciplinary studies" or "diverse student body" briefly as a reason why, but don't make them one of your primary reasons why, unless you have something particularly unique about it.

College Essay Example #13: Story of My Name

This interesting essay is a Dartmouth essay that was admitted. Enjoy!

Prompt: The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

My name is Eoin Hourihane and my entire life, no one has ever pronounced my name correctly. My genealogy is Irish and my name is spelled this way because every male in the Hourihane family, for the past seven generations, has been named John. Since my older brother's name is John, my dad decided to honor his heritage, which gives me my dual citizenship, and name me the old Gaelic for John: Eoin.

I am the youngest of six which brings with it the never-ending comparisons, teasing, and constant bickering; add to that being small for my age until the age of twelve, and you can imagine my household. We have all been raised to be independent, to love nature (except Princess Ali), and to work our hardest at everything we do.

I have always loved math, playing hockey (ice or floor), matzah ball soup, the Beatles and Queen. As a kid, I was into Percy Jackson and a series of books with titles that all ended in “-ology,” the churros at the hockey rink in Jamestown, Bang party snaps, t-shirts by Tobuscus, and my two stuffed cats - one with a mortarboard, and the other with a Star of David on its front left paw. I have dreamt of being a biomedical engineer and creating a glass eye that can see, knowing the intricacies of the human body and its responses to environmental and internal stimuli, and performing surgery on the brain.

I have celebrated Chanukah and Christmas, honoring my Jewish mother and my Catholic father, but not truly affiliating with either. I am a liberal thinker who follows current events closely, and I am eager to explore the world outside of Buffalo, NY, participate in an academic environment that will challenge me, and live among a community of learners.

College Essay Example #14: Ideal College Community

This supplement was accepted into Columbia University .

Prompt: List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words max)

Filled with activity around the clock. A place to come home to.

Trying to get past locked doors (literal and metaphorical).

Offering intellectual freedom and curiosity, without forcing specialization. Accommodating students who are unwilling to wait to make a difference. Willing to look critically at itself.

Socially conscious and politically active.

Never taking its eye off the national or global stage.

Buzzing with so much life it flows beyond the campus into the outside world.

So much life that sometimes it intimidates, that it yearns for more hours in the day. With too many options to choose from, Too much to do in four years.

Filled with clever eyes that see new ideas in the lessons of history.

Diverse of origin, of culture, of opinion, of religion, of personality, Diverse like an international center of thought and ideas and passions. An urban wonderland.

Supporting of extraordinary ambitions.

College Essay Example #15: Why Computer Science

This essay was accepted into Columbia University . To read more exceptional Columbia essays, be sure to check out our list for more Columbia essay examples .

Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words max)

Studying computer science gives me the opportunity to be in a field that evolves so quickly I can always be on the forefront and do cutting-edge work. This summer at an ad-tech company, I moved the data science team’s analysis programs to a novel cluster-computing engine (Kubernetes), which can manage and distribute tasks across thousands of computers at once. Kubernetes is so new that barely any information has circulated about it. Because of this novelty, I was able to publish the first existing documentation of a data science pipeline in Kubernetes.

Computer science can also automate the manual drudgery of life. For example: to manage my clubs, I’ve written a program that checks for emails from members with excuses for missing meetings and automatically logs their absences.

Since computers have become the platform for every science, coding allows me to contribute to numerous fields. When I started at Einstein College of Medicine last year, I knew nothing about computational biology. Our project showed me that basic programming was all I needed to find fascinating results in the mostly unstudied mountains of genomic data.

As a person, I’m drawn to seemingly impossible challenges, in particular, the quest to teach machines and create mechanical consciousness. When I started taking online courses in AI, I became fascinated by the gradient descent method in machine learning. The method casts complex input data (e.g. photos) as thousand-dimensional surfaces and attempts to descend to the lowest points (minima) of those surfaces. It works best on data with underlying patterns, like pictures of human faces. This indicates that, in some way, the very nature of what a ‘face’ is, what unique structure is shared by nearly all faces, is found in the minima that AI models descend towards. My dream is to do foundational artificial intelligence research.

College Essay Example #16: Volunteering at Hospital

This essay was accepted into the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Want to read more UNC essay examples? Check out our list of the best UNC essays for this year.

Prompt: We hope you’ll share with us the activities that you’ve found especially worthwhile. We also hope you won’t feel compelled to tell us everything you’ve ever done or, worse yet, to do things that mean little to you just because you think we expect them.

Low-profile pursuits can be just as meaningful as ones that draw more attention, and fewer activities can be just as good, and sometimes even better, than more activities. For example, although starting a new club can be a great experience and helpful to others, so can caring for siblings, parents, or grandparents, working outside the home to put food on the table, or being a good and caring friend.

For these reasons, although we’re glad to receive complete résumés, we don’t require or encourage them. Instead, if you choose to submit something that goes beyond what you’re providing through your Common Application, keep it brief; focus less on including everything and more on choosing and explaining the things that have meant the most to you; and upload it here. (650 words max)

Everywhere I looked, I saw a sea of white coats and scrubs; there was constant beeping of the heart monitors, and the smell of disinfectant was strong.

There I stood - a diminutive, awkward high school kid - lacking in experience and confidence, ready to begin volunteering at Vidant Medical Center. Perhaps the very same qualities that made me nervous were what put patients at ease. Many patients, especially younger ones who were uncomfortable speaking with medical professionals, seemed much more comfortable in my presence. I have learned this quality is how I have been able to make a difference - by connecting with many of the younger patients who were nervous just like me. I’ll always remember the two eight-year-old brothers who were waiting as their father got an MRI.

In some ways, they were also like me - they loved sports, and had an interest in math and science. As they were waiting, we talked about everything, from who they thought would win the NBA championship title to me giving them tips on how to remember their multiplication tables. This interaction put them at ease and kept them from becoming restless.

Every time I step into the hospital, I strive to connect with people. I find that I am able to make a difference not strictly due to my tasks of escorting and discharging patients but because of connection and rapport that I establish with them.

My initial nervousness about whether or not I would be able to assist sick and injured patients soon gave way to relief and gratification as I learned that I was indeed able to help them, by bringing a smile to those I escort, discharge, or deliver meals . I’ve met people I might never have met otherwise, and we’ve shared our thoughts and talked about our experiences. I have come to look forward to their company, who, despite their conditions, are still able to smile every day and enjoy engaging in conversation with me - and vice versa.

Even when volunteering in areas of the hospital where I’m not in contact with patients as often, such as doing food preparation, I always make sure to visit the patients I escort after my shift, to talk to them and uplift their spirits. Volunteering at a hospital reminds me every day how fortunate I am to be in good health and of the rewards of helping those who aren’t. While my job as a volunteer at the hospital may not result in the discovery of a cure for cancer, I am happy to have had an opportunity to contribute to improving the experiences of the children and young adults coping with their hospital stays.

College Essay Example #17: Why Carnegie Mellon

This essay was accepted into Carnegie Mellon University . Want to read more essays that worked for CMU? Check out our list of Carnegie Mellon essays that worked .

Prompt: Why Carnegie Mellon? (650 words max)

With a strong background in computer science and communications, I hope to incorporate both into a future career of building data systems, conducting research, and consulting for organizations that serve underrepresented citizens.

Specific details and anecdotes will almost always be more compelling than less specific ones. In this essay, the student does a great job of including specific, "nerdy" details, such as "an association test between melanoma associated variants and survival outcome." These details demonstrate your in-depth knowledge of an area and make your essay more engaging.

This essay does a fantastic job of addressing real-world problems and emphasizing the "bigger picture" impact of their studies. Rather than just explaining what they want to study, this student explains how their education will help them have an impact on the world. Make an argument for what problems you see in the world and how you could potentially help solve them.

For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to reference unique aspects to the school. Almost all colleges have strong academics, great faculty, etc. So instead of referencing those points, reference what makes the school unique and different. In this essay, the student talks about "CMU's Technology Consulting in the Global Community" program, which is both highly specific to CMU and relevant to their own interests.

In general, you should avoid simply listing your achievements. This student has many remarkable activities and experiences, but it comes across less interesting because the first half of the essay is simply describing these accomplishments.

For "Why Us?" essays, it is also a good idea to reference the values the school represents. Each school has a different "culture" and type of student body, and admissions wants to know how you will fit in.

College Essay Example #18: Why NYU?

This essay was accepted into New York University . Writing your NYU essays doesn't have to be stressful if you get inspired by these examples.

Prompt: Why NYU?

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand - Why NYU? (400 words max)

Living in a suburb my whole life, I've always felt as if I lived in a two-dimensional plane. I can go left, right, forward, and backward.

In a suburb, however, it is nearly impossible to get any meaningful altitude. Upon visiting New York City during the summer before my senior year, however, I found myself gazing up at the skyscrapers soaring high above me. I've always loved the views mountains and buildings; both from above and below. I also have spent time studying Mandarin, and Shanghai would offer a unique opportunity to further my linguistic studies while engaging in cultural immersion.

Beyond settings, NYU has the capacity and the resources available for me to engage in research in quantum computation. Playing video games got me into math and science beyond just playing with my calculator as a baby. There were practical applications of the numbers, and I wanted to understand how it all worked in order to get the best equipment and maximize ammo efficiency. I would watch "Mythbusters" and try to come up with my own hypothesis and see if it matched their conclusion.

In 8th grade, I figured out that I loved science along with math, but I didn't exactly know what science I loved. At the time I was in "physical science" and I did enjoy the class a lot, but I always thought of physics as "speed distance time" triangles which were no fun at all. I was convinced to take AP Physics in my junior year with my friends, and I loved it. It was almost every week we would learn something that completely altered my perception of the universe.

Once I learned about quantum physics and how it basically destroys our understanding of everything, I knew I wanted to pursue it further, and be at the forefront of quantum research.

At NYU, not only can I take courses to learn about the subject, but I can also participate in research through the "Center for Quantum Phenomena". Taking advanced courses and conducting research in a new setting, such as New York or Shanghai, can offer me a new perspective and a breath of fresh air. Conversely, I can help over NYU a new perspective on critical thinking and problem-solving. I chose to apply to NYU because NYU is fit for me, and I am fit for NYU.

College Essay Example #19: Moving Places

This essay was accepted into Pomona College . Check out this Pomona supplement that worked.

Prompt: For Pomona students, the College’s location in Southern California is integral in shaping their experience. Tell us about a location, real or fictional, that has shaped you in a meaningful way. (650 words max)

In supplements where they aren't specifically asking you to write about the school, it can still be a good idea to connect to the school subtly. In this prompt, Pomona isn't asking for "Why Pomona," but the author still manages to imply their interest in the school by referencing Pomona's location near the "San Gabriel Mountains" and "East L.A." This is a subtle way of making the essay feel targeted for Pomona specifically, rather than this essay being reused for other schools, without answering the prompt in a way they aren't looking for.

This essay starts off with a strong metaphor, comparing a "Swiss Army knife" to blankets, which implies the many uses of blankets. This is a captivating hook because it is creative and makes sense when thought about, but isn't something immediately obvious. Throughout the essay, "blankets" become a symbol of being able to adapt to new locations and environments. By using "blankets" as a common thread through the essay, it makes their writing about various locations still feel connected. Even though the prompt is asking for "a location," this manages to work because "blankets" becomes the unifying symbol that ties together multiple locations.

By describing the luxurious-sounding places they've traveled, this essay could come across as privileged. Although coming from privilege isn't necessarily a bad thing for applying to colleges, emphasizing that privilege (especially nonchalantly) could come across as "entitled." This essay doesn't necessarily come across that way, but over-emphasizing your privilege could come across as not recognizing that privilege or "out of touch" with others who may come from less privilege. Instead, it may be better to acknowledge your privilege and show gratitude—emphasizing how those opportunities have allowed you to make a positive impact on others.

College Essay Example #20: Double Major

Here's another liberal arts essay that worked, again for Pomona College .

Prompt: Most Pomona students enter the College undecided about a major, or they change their minds about their prospective major by the time they graduate. Certainly we aren’t going to hold you to any of the choices you’ve made above. But, in no more than 250 words, please tell us why you’ve chosen the academic programs (or undecided!) that you have listed. (250 words max)

I’m sitting backstage at my first international piano competition, anxiously awaiting my turn to perform. Unconsciously, I massage my right wrist, still recovering from a recent injury. The young man beside me feels my nervousness and starts a conversation.

As we whisper, I notice him rub his hands together uncomfortably. “What’s wrong?” I ask, quickly leaving my own wrist alone. He suppresses a nervous laugh, then quietly details the long and unsuccessful surgery that shattered his dream of becoming a professional musician. His hands were permanently damaged.

“Alessandra Fang,” the judges call. I stand up, walk to the main stage and look back to see him encourage me with a stiff, crooked thumbs-up. As my fingers dance on the keys, I observe the fragile muscles and ligaments under my skin.

I realize in that moment that it is not in a massive concert hall where I wanted to change people’s lives, but on a smaller stage: an operating room. As an artist who has had her share of painful, music-related injuries, my goal is to become a musician’s physician, and blend my greatest two passions so that I might bring relief to those around me, while understanding their musical and anatomical plight.

I wish to pursue both Biology and Music programs at Pomona College. I want to become a hand surgeon while still developing my artistry on the piano. After all, surgery also has its own cadence, complexity and composition.

Want to read more EssaysThatWorked?

Want to read hundreds more college essay examples?

Check out our other lists of accepted college essays for top schools. We've gathered the best essays that worked for colleges like:

UC Berkeley
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Stanford University
Columbia University
Brown University
Johns Hopkins University
Duke University
Northwestern University
Princeton University
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
University of Southern California

And dozens more! In total, we've gathered hundreds of admitted essays from top schools.

Want to check them out all in one place?

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Princeton Admitted Essay

People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

MIT Admitted Essay

Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

UPenn Admitted Essay

A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

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Illustration of a missile made from words.

In the campus protests over the war in Gaza, language and rhetoric are—as they have always been when it comes to Israel and Palestine—weapons of mass destruction.

By Zadie Smith

A philosophy without a politics is common enough. Aesthetes, ethicists, novelists—all may be easily critiqued and found wanting on this basis. But there is also the danger of a politics without a philosophy. A politics unmoored, unprincipled, which holds as its most fundamental commitment its own perpetuation. A Realpolitik that believes itself too subtle—or too pragmatic—to deal with such ethical platitudes as thou shalt not kill. Or: rape is a crime, everywhere and always. But sometimes ethical philosophy reënters the arena, as is happening right now on college campuses all over America. I understand the ethics underpinning the protests to be based on two widely recognized principles:

There is an ethical duty to express solidarity with the weak in any situation that involves oppressive power.

If the machinery of oppressive power is to be trained on the weak, then there is a duty to stop the gears by any means necessary.

The first principle sometimes takes the “weak” to mean “whoever has the least power,” and sometimes “whoever suffers most,” but most often a combination of both. The second principle, meanwhile, may be used to defend revolutionary violence, although this interpretation has just as often been repudiated by pacifistic radicals, among whom two of the most famous are, of course, Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr . In the pacifist’s interpretation, the body that we must place between the gears is not that of our enemy but our own. In doing this, we may pay the ultimate price with our actual bodies, in the non-metaphorical sense. More usually, the risk is to our livelihoods, our reputations, our futures. Before these most recent campus protests began, we had an example of this kind of action in the climate movement. For several years now, many people have been protesting the economic and political machinery that perpetuates climate change, by blocking roads, throwing paint, interrupting plays, and committing many other arrestable offenses that can appear ridiculous to skeptics (or, at the very least, performative), but which in truth represent a level of personal sacrifice unimaginable to many of us.

I experienced this not long ago while participating in an XR climate rally in London. When it came to the point in the proceedings where I was asked by my fellow-protesters whether I’d be willing to commit an arrestable offense—one that would likely lead to a conviction and thus make travelling to the United States difficult or even impossible—I’m ashamed to say that I declined that offer. Turns out, I could not give up my relationship with New York City for the future of the planet. I’d just about managed to stop buying plastic bottles (except when very thirsty) and was trying to fly less. But never to see New York again? What pitiful ethical creatures we are (I am)! Falling at the first hurdle! Anyone who finds themselves rolling their eyes at any young person willing to put their own future into jeopardy for an ethical principle should ask themselves where the limits of their own commitments lie—also whether they’ve bought a plastic bottle or booked a flight recently. A humbling inquiry.

It is difficult to look at the recent Columbia University protests in particular without being reminded of the campus protests of the nineteen-sixties and seventies, some of which happened on the very same lawns. At that time, a cynical political class was forced to observe the spectacle of its own privileged youth standing in solidarity with the weakest historical actors of the moment, a group that included, but was not restricted to, African Americans and the Vietnamese. By placing such people within their ethical zone of interest, young Americans risked both their own academic and personal futures and—in the infamous case of Kent State—their lives. I imagine that the students at Columbia—and protesters on other campuses—fully intend this echo, and, in their unequivocal demand for both a ceasefire and financial divestment from this terrible war, to a certain extent they have achieved it.

But, when I open newspapers and see students dismissing the idea that some of their fellow-students feel, at this particular moment, unsafe on campus, or arguing that such a feeling is simply not worth attending to, given the magnitude of what is occurring in Gaza, I find such sentiments cynical and unworthy of this movement. For it may well be—within the ethical zone of interest that is a campus, which was not so long ago defined as a safe space, delineated by the boundary of a generation’s ethical ideas— it may well be that a Jewish student walking past the tents, who finds herself referred to as a Zionist, and then is warned to keep her distance, is, in that moment, the weakest participant in the zone. If the concept of safety is foundational to these students’ ethical philosophy (as I take it to be), and, if the protests are committed to reinserting ethical principles into a cynical and corrupt politics, it is not right to divest from these same ethics at the very moment they come into conflict with other imperatives. The point of a foundational ethics is that it is not contingent but foundational. That is precisely its challenge to a corrupt politics.

Practicing our ethics in the real world involves a constant testing of them, a recognition that our zones of ethical interest have no fixed boundaries and may need to widen and shrink moment by moment as the situation demands. (Those brave students who—in supporting the ethical necessity of a ceasefire—find themselves at painful odds with family, friends, faith, or community have already made this calculation.) This flexibility can also have the positive long-term political effect of allowing us to comprehend that, although our duty to the weakest is permanent, the role of “the weakest” is not an existential matter independent of time and space but, rather, a contingent situation, continually subject to change. By contrast, there is a dangerous rigidity to be found in the idea that concern for the dreadful situation of the hostages is somehow in opposition to, or incompatible with, the demand for a ceasefire. Surely a ceasefire—as well as being an ethical necessity—is also in the immediate absolute interest of the hostages, a fact that cannot be erased by tearing their posters off walls.

Part of the significance of a student protest is the ways in which it gives young people the opportunity to insist upon an ethical principle while still being, comparatively speaking, a more rational force than the supposed adults in the room, against whose crazed magical thinking they have been forced to define themselves. The equality of all human life was never a self-evident truth in racially segregated America. There was no way to “win” in Vietnam. Hamas will not be “eliminated.” The more than seven million Jewish human beings who live in the gap between the river and the sea will not simply vanish because you think that they should. All of that is just rhetoric. Words. Cathartic to chant, perhaps, but essentially meaningless. A ceasefire, meanwhile, is both a potential reality and an ethical necessity. The monstrous and brutal mass murder of more than eleven hundred people, the majority of them civilians, dozens of them children, on October 7th, has been followed by the monstrous and brutal mass murder (at the time of writing) of a reported fourteen thousand five hundred children. And many more human beings besides, but it’s impossible not to notice that the sort of people who take at face value phrases like “surgical strikes” and “controlled military operation” sometimes need to look at and/or think about dead children specifically in order to refocus their minds on reality.

To send the police in to arrest young people peacefully insisting upon a ceasefire represents a moral injury to us all. To do it with violence is a scandal. How could they do less than protest, in this moment? They are putting their own bodies into the machine. They deserve our support and praise. As to which postwar political arrangement any of these students may favor, and on what basis they favor it—that is all an argument for the day after a ceasefire. One state, two states, river to the sea—in my view, their views have no real weight in this particular moment, or very little weight next to the significance of their collective action, which (if I understand it correctly) is focussed on stopping the flow of money that is funding bloody murder, and calling for a ceasefire, the political euphemism that we use to mark the end of bloody murder. After a ceasefire, the criminal events of the past seven months should be tried and judged, and the infinitely difficult business of creating just, humane, and habitable political structures in the region must begin anew. Right now: ceasefire. And, as we make this demand, we might remind ourselves that a ceasefire is not, primarily, a political demand. Primarily, it is an ethical one.

But it is in the nature of the political that we cannot even attend to such ethical imperatives unless we first know the political position of whoever is speaking. (“Where do you stand on Israel/Palestine?”) In these constructed narratives, there are always a series of shibboleths, that is, phrases that can’t be said, or, conversely, phrases that must be said. Once these words or phrases have been spoken ( river to the sea, existential threat, right to defend, one state, two states, Zionist, colonialist, imperialist, terrorist ) and one’s positionality established, then and only then will the ethics of the question be attended to (or absolutely ignored). The objection may be raised at this point that I am behaving like a novelist, expressing a philosophy without a politics, or making some rarefied point about language and rhetoric while people commit bloody murder. This would normally be my own view, but, in the case of Israel/Palestine, language and rhetoric are and always have been weapons of mass destruction.

It is in fact perhaps the most acute example in the world of the use of words to justify bloody murder, to flatten and erase unbelievably labyrinthine histories, and to deliver the atavistic pleasure of violent simplicity to the many people who seem to believe that merely by saying something they make it so. It is no doubt a great relief to say the word “Hamas” as if it purely and solely described a terrorist entity. A great relief to say “There is no such thing as the Palestinian people” as they stand in front of you. A great relief to say “Zionist colonialist state” and accept those three words as a full and unimpeachable definition of the state of Israel, not only under the disastrous leadership of Benjamin Netanyahu but at every stage of its long and complex history, and also to hear them as a perfectly sufficient description of every man, woman, and child who has ever lived in Israel or happened to find themselves born within it. It is perhaps because we know these simplifications to be impossible that we insist upon them so passionately. They are shibboleths; they describe a people, by defining them against other people—but the people being described are ourselves. The person who says “We must eliminate Hamas” says this not necessarily because she thinks this is a possible outcome on this earth but because this sentence is the shibboleth that marks her membership in the community that says that. The person who uses the word “Zionist” as if that word were an unchanged and unchangeable monolith, meaning exactly the same thing in 2024 and 1948 as it meant in 1890 or 1901 or 1920—that person does not so much bring definitive clarity to the entangled history of Jews and Palestinians as they successfully and soothingly draw a line to mark their own zone of interest and where it ends. And while we all talk, carefully curating our shibboleths, presenting them to others and waiting for them to reveal themselves as with us or against us—while we do all that, bloody murder.

And now here we are, almost at the end of this little stream of words. We’ve arrived at the point at which I must state clearly “where I stand on the issue,” that is, which particular political settlement should, in my own, personal view, occur on the other side of a ceasefire. This is the point wherein—by my stating of a position—you are at once liberated into the simple pleasure of placing me firmly on one side or the other, putting me over there with those who lisp or those who don’t, with the Ephraimites, or with the people of Gilead. Yes, this is the point at which I stake my rhetorical flag in that fantastical, linguistical, conceptual, unreal place—built with words—where rapes are minimized as needs be, and the definition of genocide quibbled over, where the killing of babies is denied, and the precision of drones glorified, where histories are reconsidered or rewritten or analogized or simply ignored, and “Jew” and “colonialist” are synonymous, and “Palestinian” and “terrorist” are synonymous, and language is your accomplice and alibi in all of it. Language euphemized, instrumentalized, and abused, put to work for your cause and only for your cause, so that it does exactly and only what you want it to do. Let me make it easy for you. Put me wherever you want: misguided socialist, toothless humanist, naïve novelist, useful idiot, apologist, denier, ally, contrarian, collaborator, traitor, inexcusable coward. It is my view that my personal views have no more weight than an ear of corn in this particular essay. The only thing that has any weight in this particular essay is the dead. ♦

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KWCH Top of the Class 2024- Grace May

Pratt high school.

Academic Honors & Awards : National Merit Scholar Finalist, Presidential Scholar Nominee, Silver Placement in the National Spanish Exam, Optimist Club Essay Regional Winner 2022, ARSM diploma in piano performance earned with distinction.

High School Involvement : Varsity Scholars’ Bowl Team Member 4 years, Captain Sr year and a State team member So and Sr year; StuCo member 4 years, Executive president Jr year; NHS member So-Sr year; Band Member 4 years, percussion section leader So-Sr year; Pratt High Singers member So-Sr year; Pratt High Chamber Singers member Fr-Sr year, All-State qualifier So and Sr year; “I” rating at KSHSAA State Piano Festival 4 years; Varsity Cross Country Runner 4 years, State team member Fr Year.

Fun Fact about Yourself : I love exploring national parks. My favorite to date is the Black Canyon of the Gunnison in Colorado.

Dream Job : Work for NASA.

College & Major : I will be attending Yale in the fall and major in Physics.

Future Plans : I plan to be in college for a rather long time.

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Piano Sonata College Essays Samples For Students

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Imagine Your Last Day of Work Ever. Here’s Theirs.

American culture has no set ritual to mark retirement. They created their own.

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Photographs by Victor Llorente

Text by Charley Locke

Victor Llorente sampled work lives around the country over the course of a month for this assignment. While following a firefighter’s final 24-hour shift, he went on calls in a firefighter coat and even slept at the fire station during breaks.

May 11, 2024

Among life’s major milestones — think graduations, weddings, even annual events like birthdays and anniversaries — the retirement day is notably lacking in cultural convention, shared ritual. (Even the ceremonial gold watch today seems more the stuff of myth than reality.) It mostly tends to fall to co-workers, family, even retirees themselves to conjure, ad hoc, a celebratory send-off. Here’s a look at how a range of new retirees marked the end of their working days.

Fabric-store owner, 82, St. Petersburg, Fla.

Arthur Jay didn’t think he would spend his life running the family business. After growing up around his parents’ first fabric store on Long Island, he left to attend college and then to pursue a career in management at Kmart. But when Jay was 27, his father died unexpectedly, so he had to take over at Jay’s Fabric Center in St. Petersburg. Jay still wonders about what could have been, but over the last 54 years, he found his way to quiet moments of job satisfaction: helping someone pick out colors for a bedspread, planning custom draperies. “For me, every customer that came in was a different opportunity,” he says. “If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, getting up every day would be a drudgery.”

Jay outside his store.

Taking down an old photo to keep.

Opening a cake to share with staff and customers.

Locking the front door for the last time.

As a small-business owner who is closing his store, Jay is practical about the transition into retirement. Even after helping his last customer, he still had to ship the last orders, sell off the remaining inventory and pay the bills. But he was glad to have a last day of business, when longtime customers came by to thank him and his employees over slices of vanilla cake with vanilla frosting. “I’m sorry, but I like vanilla,” Jay says. “That’s one thing I got to do, because it was my cake.” He ate two pieces.

Juliane Bingener-Casey

Surgeon, 61, rochester, minn..

Before her last day in the operating room, Dr. Juliane Bingener-Casey, a surgeon and professor of surgery at the Mayo Clinic, experienced a series of lasts. “I knew when I did my last stomach case, my last small bowel,” she says. “You want them to go spectacularly well, with a cherry on top.” When she successfully finished her final operation, she was unsentimental, ready to put the scalpel down. “I felt like I was done,” Bingener-Casey says.

Preparing for surgery.

Tossing her final scrubs.

Cleaning out her office.

Celebrating with colleagues at a dinner in her honor.

Over thousands of complicated cases on the operating table, Bingener-Casey learned to separate her feelings and her work. “You have to have very good control of your emotions, meaning you bury them,” she says. She did feel those emotions at her retirement reception, when the microphone was opened up to her colleagues after dinner. “I didn’t know I’d need so many tissues — one of my friends said I hadn’t cried like that in a long time,” Bingener-Casey says. “Hearing out loud that you’re appreciated and that people feel you’ve added value, in otherwise a very matter-of-fact surgical world, it’s just beautiful.”

TV-news traffic anchor, 66, Chicago

Over 35 years of reporting for ABC7 Chicago, Roz Varon has seen her city from some unique vantage points. She has reported from the roof of the 110-story Willis Tower, the dinosaur-fossil storage room at the Field Museum, inside Glinda’s bubble onstage at a production of “Wicked” and atop a bull at the rodeo. “When I would drive into work every morning, I would look at the Willis Tower and think: I stood up there. Who gets to do that?” Varon says. “I would think to myself, Chicago is my city.”

Finishing her makeup at 3:45 a.m.

Old colleagues came back to surprise her.

Cutting a celebratory cake.

Greeting her fans, human and canine.

Varon has been a familiar face for generations of Chicagoans, offering no-nonsense traffic reports ever since the ABC7 morning show debuted in 1989. So when it came time for her to retire, her city showed up. A partial list of the fans who congratulated her on her last day: Girl Scouts from Illinois and Indiana; members of the Chicago Department of Transportation, who gave her a Roz Varon Way street sign; Alan Krashesky, the first morning anchor at ABC7; her former journalism students; fellow breast-cancer survivors; and puppies from the anti-cruelty group she supported. Her co-workers presented her with a proclamation from the City of Chicago, declaring it Roz Varon Day. “It was mind-blowing, one thing after another after another,” Varon says. “It was like there was no other news, just special surprises for me!”

Latin-dance-music D.J., 60, Cincinnati

There has always been a certain feeling of euphoria that comes to Tony Pabón as he looks out at the dance floor from his D.J. table at Salsannati Dance Company. “To play music and have people start to clap or move their body or dance — that’s powerful,” he says. “I have to pinch myself sometimes.” So when his job started to feel more like a chore than a joy, Pabón knew it was time to retire. (He will continue working a day job at a bank.) “Lately, I’m not having the passion,” he says. “I’m doing it because it’s my duty.” Besides, standing for four-hour sets was taking a toll on his knees.

D.J.ing for the final time.

Dancing with his wife.

A toast to ends and beginnings.

But first, there was his last show at Salsannati. Over decades of D.J.ing at restaurants, for parties and on river cruises, Pabón had become a fixture of Cincinnati’s Latin-music scene. Regulars packed the floor for the last night with D.J. Tony; the studio owner made a speech and gave Pabón a bottle of bourbon. “I like to talk a lot, but I found myself without words to say, because it was so overwhelming,” Pabón says. “I was on cloud nine for the whole night of dancing, even though I had the worst knee pain.”

Pabón is selling his D.J. equipment as he focuses on his other interests: leading a marriage group at church with his wife, painting and spending time with his grandchildren. Part of his identity will always be tied to music, which it has been ever since his first disco sets as a teenage D.J. in Cabo Rojo, Puerto Rico. “At the end of the day, when you’re tired and frustrated, you put on that vinyl and drop that needle,” he says. “The sound comes out of the speakers, and you’re a brand-new person.”

Frances Fotia

Church organist, 83, ellwood city, pa..

When Frances Fotia was in the fifth grade, the nuns heard that she took piano lessons and asked if she would like to learn how to play the organ. She said yes and, soon after, started to play at Mass every day. “I kept doing that practically for the rest of my life,” Fotia says. She played as she raised her four daughters, and as they grew up and she became a grandmother. She played the organ at the funeral Masses for both of her parents; she played at friends’ weddings, and then at the weddings of their children. “I loved playing for the people for their sung prayer,” she says. “That’s basically what it was all about.”

Adjusting the stops to prepare the organ.

Directing the choir.

Celebrating with her family at home.

In recent years, she shifted to weekly services. Easter Mass was her last day both playing the organ and directing the choir, which includes singers she has known since she was a girl. They sang “God’s Right Hand,” one of her favorites — and then surprised her with the song they sing at the end of choir practice, “May God Bless and Keep You.”

Fotia now sits in the pews, not at the organ bench. But she still thinks about the connection she has felt with the organ since she started playing Mass more than 70 years ago. “When I sat down at that console,” she says, “it was like putting on a pair of slippers.”

Sheila Giuntoli

Letter carrier, 58, bakersfield, calif..

As Sheila Giuntoli made her daily journey along her postal route, she delivered to homes where she witnessed children grow up and houses where she made peace with the family dogs. She passed homes where she attended baby showers and birthday parties. She delivered mail to one yard where, six years ago, a customer asked her out; their four-hour first date at Denny’s led to a backyard wedding and a happy marriage. “It really was a blessing to me,” Giuntoli says about working at the post office. But after 30 years and two hip replacements, it was finally time to retire.

On her route for the final time.

Hugging a customer during her final delivery.

With her husband at the office party.

Posing at the big party.

Her last day began with celebration. There was a speech from a post-office official; a Million Mile plaque honoring her 30 years of service driving without an accident; and a potluck with co-workers. Then she set off on her route, where she said goodbye to customers she had known for a decade. “It made me real emotional,” Giuntoli says.

The bigger celebration came that Sunday night, when her children threw her a retirement party. Co-workers past and present danced, took photos in a photo booth and told stories about the old days, before electronic scanners and Amazon packages. Retirement “made me feel like I lost a family member,” says Giuntoli, who plans to keep in touch with people on her old route. “But I know I have to move on and start a new chapter in my life.”

David DuVall

Firefighter, 54, dolton, ill..

For 30 years, David DuVall worked 24 hours on, 48 hours off at the fire station. During those long shifts, his fellow firefighters were his second family: Every third day they would watch the morning news, shop for groceries, play cards, cook chicken Parmesan and grill steak, watch Bears and Blackhawks games — and, of course, fight fires. “It’s the only thing I know,” he says, “so to say I’m gonna be giving it up is a big unknown. Frankly, it’s a little scary.”

Outside the firehouse.

Taking down his nameplate.

Out on a final call.

Celebrating with beers starting at 8 a.m.

After his final shift ended at 7 a.m., DuVall heard one last call over the radio, announcing his retirement. Then he and his wife stepped out of the station together, preceded by a fellow fireman playing the bagpipes. Before them stood a cheering crowd, full of loved ones and firefighters from Dolton and neighboring villages. “I was very humbled by it,” DuVall says.

By 8 a.m., DuVall and his entourage headed to a local bar for drinks, pizza and old stories. After a few hours, the stalwarts headed to another bar near DuVall’s home; he and a few friends closed out the celebrations at a third bar at 12:30 a.m. “It was 16 hours of having a good time,” he says — almost (but not quite) a full firefighter’s shift.

Charley Locke is a writer based in Portland, Ore. She often works on special projects for the magazine, most recently about low-Earth orbit, and generally writes about children and elders.

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