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How to Write a Descriptive Paragraph About a Person (With Examples)

4-minute read

• 7th January 2023

Describing a person or character is difficult for even the most successful authors. It requires a balance of words to make sure they shine through without the language being too heavy. In this article, we’ll look at how to write a descriptive paragraph about a person, share some examples, and talk about different strategies.

1.   Brainstorm Your Ideas

Brainstorming is crucial to any writing process. It’s the process in which you think of ideas for what you’d like to write about. In this case, you’re writing a descriptive paragraph about a person. It’s important to use adjectives to describe the features or characteristics you want to focus on.

One way to come up with ideas for a descriptive paragraph about a person is to go through the five senses. Use the questions below to get some ideas for what you want to highlight about your person.

Appeal to your reader’s senses – smell, taste, sound, sight, and touch

Smell: How does the person smell? Do they wear perfume? Are they doing an activity that would make them have a certain smell?

Taste: Do you associate a certain food with this person? Does it make you think of a specific taste? Can you taste something due to a certain smell they have?

Sound: Do they have a unique voice or laugh? Are they doing an activity that has distinctive sounds?

Sight: What prominent features do they have? For example, think about their dressing style, their smile, or their surroundings. What do you see them doing in your mind when you see a photo of them? What memories do you have of this person? Does this person remind you of something or someone?

Touch: What textures do you see? For example, imagine their skin or clothing. How does it feel if you hug them?

2.   Begin With a Short and Snappy Sentence

Like with any type of writing, you want to hook your reader so that they want to continue reading. In this case, you can use a topic sentence, if appropriate, to introduce your reader to the person. For example:

Or, if you want to be more creative, you can reel them in with a short and snappy sentence about this person. This is called a writing hook . This sentence should focus on a stand-out detail or characteristic about the person you’re describing. For example:

3.   Describe the Person

Now, this is the hard part. But, if you’ve brainstormed plenty of ideas and know which ones you want to focus on, it will be easier. Let’s look at some examples to get a better idea of how to write a descriptive paragraph about a person using the prompt “describe a person you admire.”

Comments: This paragraph is pretty typical of most students. It gives lots of visual details of the person and uses a simile or two (“ Her eyes are like the color of honey” and “Her smile shines like the sun” ). While this strategy gets the job done, it’s not very exciting to read. In fact, it can be quite boring!

Let’s look at how we can rewrite this to make it more exciting.

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Comments: In this example, we focused on one defining characteristic of the person we are describing — her laugh. This strategy places more focus on the person you’re describing, rather than the adjectives you use to describe them.

4.   Edit and Revise

After you write your descriptive paragraph, be sure to read it over. Read it out loud. Read it in a funny voice. Doing this will help you to hear the words and identify which parts do not work or sound awkward.

5.   General Tips for Descriptive Writing

●  Avoid using too many descriptive words.

●  Remember to show the reader, not tell.

●  Appeal to the reader’s five senses – smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.

●  Focus on a striking or defining characteristic.

●  Use contrasting details from other people or surroundings for emphasis.

●  Use literary devices (metaphors, similes etc.) sparingly and with intention.

●  Use a hook to reel your reader in.

●  Use a variety of short and long sentences.

●  Practice creative writing exercises to improve your descriptive writing skills.

●  Always edit and revise your writing.

If you need more help with writing a descriptive paragraph or essay , send your work to us! Our experts will proofread your first 500 words for free !

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Descriptive Essay: Your Guide to Writing an Effective One

A descriptive essay is one of the four main types of essays, alongside narrative, argumentative, and expository essays. Among these, descriptive essays can be particularly challenging because they demand a keen eye for detail and an appreciation for aesthetics. By vividly describing scenes and details, you engage your reader’s senses, making your essay memorable and engaging. In this guide, our essay writers will break down the writing process for you, offering step-by-step instructions, practical examples, and clear definitions to help you excel in your next assignment.

What is a Descriptive Essay?

Descriptive writing aims to vividly portray something through essays, helping readers visualize and feel the scene or object being described. Such essays draw on detailed descriptions to create a clear and impactful image that not only presents the subject but also evokes emotions and memories.

There are three main techniques used in descriptive writing: naming, detailing, and comparing .

Naming identifies the subject and its characteristics, answering questions like 'What is it?' and 'What features does it have?'

Detailing elaborates on these features, providing answers to detailed questions such as 'How many are there?' and 'What is its value?' Techniques like synesthesia and comparisons enhance these descriptions.

Comparing uses similes and metaphors to make descriptions more vivid, linking the subject to familiar concepts.

What Is the Purpose of a Descriptive Essay?

The purpose of a descriptive essay is multifaceted. Primarily, it allows writers to give readers a vivid impression of a person, place, or event, making the subject come alive through words. By using detailed descriptions, writers can help readers visualize settings and characters as if they were seeing them firsthand.

Additionally, descriptive essays can serve to clarify abstract ideas. By describing these concepts with concrete images and examples, writers make complex ideas easier to understand and more relatable to the reader.

Descriptive essays also aim to make information more memorable. When details are vivid, they are more likely to stick in the reader's mind, enhancing recall and engagement with the text.

Lastly, it can bolster an argument by providing concrete, detailed evidence that supports a point of view. This helps persuade the reader by making the argument more tangible and credible.

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Descriptive Essay Topics

When you're tasked with writing a descriptive essay, you'll usually get a prompt that asks you to describe something. These descriptive essay prompts allow you to explore different settings, time periods, and imaginative scenarios in your essays. 

Personal Prompts:

• Describe a favorite childhood memory.
• Describe a treasured family heirloom.

Imaginative Prompts:

• Describe a day in the life of a pirate.
• Describe what it would be like to explore an underwater city.

Historical Prompts:

• Describe the atmosphere of a bustling ancient marketplace.
• Describe the experience of witnessing a significant moment in history, like the moon landing or the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Nature Prompts:

• Describe the sights and sounds of a peaceful forest at dawn.
• Describe the feeling of standing at the edge of a majestic waterfall.

Everyday Prompts:

• Describe the chaos of a busy morning commute in a big city.
• Describe the tranquility of a sunset picnic in the countryside.

If you need topic ideas for other essay genres, consult our guide on narrative essay topics .

How to Write a Descriptive Essay in 8 Steps

Now that you understand the essence and purpose of this type of essay let's explore some fundamental yet valuable tips for writing a descriptive essay. 

Step 1: Select Your Topic

The first step in creating a captivating descriptive essay is choosing the right topic. Start by paying close attention to your surroundings. 

• Consider describing a person you know well in your life, like a sibling, a close friend, or a teacher who has made a significant impact on you.
• Alternatively, you could focus on a specific place or object that holds sentimental value to you, such as a favorite vacation spot, a cherished childhood toy, or a meaningful piece of jewelry.
• Another option is to explore a strong emotion that you have experienced, like excitement, nostalgia, or determination. 

Avoid using overly technical or jargon-filled language in your topic selection. Instead, aim for simplicity and clarity to ensure that your chosen topic resonates with your audience and allows you to convey your unique perspective effectively.

Step 2: Gather Details

Once you've selected your topic for your descriptive essay, the next step is to gather details that will bring your chosen subject to life on the page. Start by closely observing your subject, whether it's a person, place, object, or emotion. Pay attention to its appearance, characteristics, and any unique features that stand out to you.

For example, if you've chosen to describe your childhood home, take note of its architectural style, color scheme, and any distinctive elements like a front porch or a cozy fireplace. Recall memories associated with the home, such as family gatherings or quiet moments spent reading in your favorite spot.

If your topic is a person, like a close friend or family member, observe their physical appearance, mannerisms, and personality traits. Consider the ways in which they interact with others and the impact they have on your life.

Step 3: Draft an Outline

When structuring your essay, you can organize your paragraphs from top to bottom or near to far, chronologically, or from general to specific. Here's a simple descriptive essay outline from our custom writers to guide you: 

Step 4: Develop a Thesis Statement

When developing your thesis statement, consider the main points or aspects of your subject that you want to highlight in your essay. Think about the emotions or impressions you want to evoke in the reader and tailor your thesis statement accordingly.

For example, if you're writing about your favorite childhood memory, your thesis statement could be: 'My summers spent at my grandparents' farm were filled with laughter, adventure, and a sense of belonging.'

Or, if you're describing a beautiful sunset, your thesis statement might be: 'The breathtaking colors and serene atmosphere of the sunset over the ocean evoke a sense of peace and wonder.'

Step 5: Craft the Introduction

Start your descriptive essay introduction by hooking the reader with an engaging opening sentence or anecdote related to your topic. This could be a vivid description, a thought-provoking question, or a surprising fact. For example:

• Growing up on my grandparents' farm, each summer brought new adventures and unforgettable memories that still warm my heart to this day.

After hooking the reader, provide some background information or context for your topic. This could include brief details about the setting, time period, or significance of your subject. For instance:

• Nestled in the rolling hills of the countryside, my grandparents' farm was a sanctuary of simple pleasures and cherished traditions.

Finally, end your introduction with your thesis statement, clearly stating the main point of your essay. This ties everything together and gives the reader a roadmap for what to expect in the rest of your essay. 

Step 6: Compose the Body Paragraphs

Once you've crafted your introduction, it's time to compose the body paragraphs, where you delve into the details and descriptions that bring your topic to life.

Each body paragraph should focus on a specific aspect or detail of your topic, expanding upon the ideas presented in your thesis statement. Use vivid language, sensory details, and descriptive devices to paint a clear picture for the reader.

For example, if you're writing about summers spent at your grandparents' farm, you could dedicate one body paragraph to describing the sights and sounds of the farm:

• The rolling fields stretched out before me, golden waves of wheat swaying gently in the breeze. The air was filled with the sweet scent of wildflowers, mingling with the earthy aroma of freshly turned soil.

In another body paragraph, you might explore the adventures and activities that filled your days:

• From sunrise to sunset, there was never a dull moment on the farm. Whether we were exploring the woods, splashing in the creek, or helping with chores, each day brought new excitement and adventure.

Continue with additional body paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of your topic and providing rich, detailed descriptions. Be sure to vary your language and sentence structure to keep the reader engaged and interested.

Step 7: Conclude the Essay

The conclusion should bring together all the ideas presented in your essay. Avoid introducing any new information in the conclusion. Instead, focus on evaluating your thoughts and reflections on the topic. End with a strong final sentence that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

For example, if you were writing about summers spent at your grandparents' farm, your conclusion might reflect on the significance of those memories:

• 'As I reminisce about the summers spent amid the rustic charm of my grandparents' farm, I am filled with a profound sense of gratitude for the simple pleasures and cherished moments that shaped my childhood. The laughter echoing through the fields, the adventures awaiting around every corner, and the sense of belonging that enveloped me there will forever hold a special place in my heart.'

Step 8: Refine Your Essay

Once you've finished writing your essay, it's time to refine it for clarity and impact. Start by reading your essay aloud to yourself. Listen for any sentences that sound awkward or unclear. Mark these sentences so you can revise them later.

You can also read your essay aloud to others and ask for their feedback. Invite friends, family members, teachers, or mentors to listen to your essay and share their thoughts. Ask them if there are any parts that are difficult to understand or if they have trouble picturing the subject you're describing.

Be receptive to constructive criticism and feedback. Use it as an opportunity to improve your essay and make it stronger. And if it sounds too demanding right now, you can buy cheap essay to sidestep the hassle and reclaim some much-needed free time.

Descriptive Essay Format

The standard format for a descriptive essay typically includes five paragraphs: an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, you can also organize your essay into sections, allowing for flexibility in the length of the body paragraphs.

Introductory Paragraph: This paragraph sets the scene by describing where, when, and to whom the experience occurred. It should include descriptive words to capture the reader's attention.

First Body Paragraph: Here, the writer provides details that allow the reader to visualize the situation. Descriptive language is key in painting a clear picture for the reader.

Second Body Paragraph: More details are provided, with a focus on using descriptive adjectives. Figurative language, such as metaphor (e.g., describing the city as a 'jungle of concrete'), can enhance the imagery.

Third Body Paragraph: The writer continues to appeal to the reader's senses with visually descriptive words. Figurative language, like personification (e.g., describing the wind as a playful dancer), adds depth to the description.

Conclusion: The conclusion alludes to another sense, such as touch or sound, and uses strong words to signify closure. It ends with a powerful concluding sentence to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Descriptive Essay Examples

In this section, you'll discover essay examples that demonstrate how to captivate your readers' attention effectively. After exploring these examples, you might find yourself tempted to ask, 'Can someone do my homework for me?' - and that's completely understandable! We're here to help you become more confident and articulate communicators through your writing!

3 Additional Tips for Writing

While writing a descriptive essay, your goal is to make your subject come alive for the reader. Unlike more formal essays, you have the freedom to be creative with your descriptions, using figurative language, sensory details, and precise word choices to make your writing memorable.

Use Figurative Language: Figurative language, like metaphors and similes, adds flair to your descriptions. Instead of sticking to literal descriptions, use comparisons to create unique and memorable imagery. 

• For instance, describing a city as a bustling beehive of activity ' or a forest as ' a blanket of whispers ' adds an unexpected twist that captures the reader's attention.

Engage Your Senses: In a descriptive essay, don't just focus on what something looks like; appeal to all the senses. Describe how things smell, sound, feel, and even taste, if applicable. This adds depth and richness to your descriptions, making them more immersive. 

• For example, instead of just describing a beach visually, include sensory details like feeling the warm sand between your toes , hearing the rhythmic crash of waves , and t asting the salty sea breeze.

Choose Your Words Carefully: Use effective adjectives, verbs, and nouns to convey your impressions vividly. Avoid clichés and opt for original, precise language that reflects your unique perspective. Take the time to review your sentences and consider if there are better word choices that could enhance your description.

In Wrapping Up

To sum it up, descriptive essays are all about encouraging students like you to explore your surroundings and unleash your creativity by describing scenes in detail with words. When you carefully select and organize these descriptive details, it not only enhances your writing but also sharpens your critical thinking skills. Plus, diving into this expressive writing style allows you to appreciate the beauty of language and feel more connected to written communication. And remember, if you ever need a little boost in your writing journey, our descriptive essay writing service is here to help!

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How To Write A Descriptive Essay?

What is a descriptive essay, what is the purpose of a descriptive essay.

Daniel Parker

is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

• New samples
• New information on each of the rest sections 

Axelrod, R. B. and Cooper, R. C. (2008). The st martin’s guide to writing. (English Edition). New York: Bedford/St Martins

Okono, U. M. (2021). Descriptive essay: An assessment of performance by undergraduates of AkwaIbom State University. Erudite Journal of Linguistics and Languages . https://www.globalacademicstar.com/download/article/descriptive-essay-an-assessment-of-performance-by-undergraduates-of-akwa-ibom-state-university.pdf

Okono. U. M. (2020). “Qualities of a good essay: An assessment of the writings of Nigerian undergraduates.” International Journal on integrated Education. 3: vi.

https://irsc-asc.weebly.com/uploads/3/1/8/1/31813909/e7__descriptive_essay_guidelines.pdf

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How to Masterfully Describe Your Personality in an Essay: A Step-by-Step Guide 2023

Introduction

Step 1: self-reflection and introspection, step 2: identifying core values and beliefs, step 3: gathering evidence and examples.

• Step 4: Show, don't tell

Step 5: Structuring your essay effectively

Step 6: balancing self-awareness and humility, step 7: seeking feedback and editing.

Describing your personality in an essay is not simply an exercise in self-expression; it is a transformative process that allows you to artfully communicate and convey the intricate nuances of your character to the reader. By delving into the depths of your self-awareness, personal growth, and the values that serve as the compass guiding your actions and decisions, you embark on a journey of self-discovery and introspection. In this comprehensive step-by-step guide , we will navigate the intricacies of crafting a compelling personality description in your essay, providing you with the necessary tools to masterfully articulate your unique qualities, experiences, and perspectives.

At its core, the act of describing your personality in an essay is an opportunity to authentically showcase who you are. It is a platform to illuminate the multifaceted nature of your being, unveiling the layers that make you distinct and individual. Through self-reflection and introspection , you delve into the recesses of your soul, gaining a deeper understanding of your own personality traits and characteristics. This process of self-exploration allows you to unearth the strengths that define you and the weaknesses that provide opportunities for growth.

Identifying your core values and beliefs is another essential step in effectively describing your personality. By exploring your fundamental principles and ideals, you gain insight into the motivations behind your actions and the driving force behind your decisions . These values serve as the undercurrent that weaves together the fabric of your personality, giving coherence and purpose to your thoughts and behaviors. Understanding how your personality traits align with your core values enables you to articulate a more comprehensive and authentic depiction of yourself.

To breathe life into your personality description, it is crucial to gather evidence and examples that showcase your traits in action. Recall specific instances where your personality has manifested itself, and examine the behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that were present. By drawing on these concrete examples, you provide tangible proof of your personality claims, allowing the reader to envision your character in vivid detail.

However, it is not enough to simply tell the reader about your personality traits; you must show them through vivid and descriptive language. By employing sensory details and evocative storytelling, you paint a vibrant picture that engages the reader’s imagination. It is through this artful depiction that your personality comes to life on the page, leaving a lasting impression.

Crafting an effective structure for your essay is also paramount to conveying your personality in a coherent and engaging manner. A well-structured essay captivates the reader from the outset with an engaging introduction that sets the tone and grabs their attention. Organizing your essay around key personality traits or themes creates a logical progression of ideas, enabling a seamless flow from one aspect of your personality to the next. This careful structuring enhances the readability and impact of your essay, allowing the reader to follow your journey of self-expression with ease.

In describing your personality, it is essential to strike a delicate balance between self-awareness and humility. While it is important to acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments, it is equally crucial to avoid sounding arrogant. Honesty about your weaknesse s and areas for growth demonstrates humility and a willingness to learn from experiences, fostering personal growth and development.

Also, seeking feedback and diligently editing your essay play a vital role in refining your personality description. Sharing your work with trusted individuals allows for constructive criticism, providing valuable insights into how effectively your personality is being portrayed. By carefully incorporating this feedback and paying attention to grammar, punctuation, and clarity, you can ensure that your essay is polished and ready to make a lasting impression . Below are the step by step guide on how to masterfully describe your personality in an essay

Before diving into writing, take the time to deeply understand your own personality traits and characteristics. Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses , considering how they have influenced your actions and interactions with others. Additionally, contemplate significant life experiences that have shaped your personality, providing valuable insights into who you are today.

Your core values and beliefs are the guiding principles that define your character. Explore what truly matters to you and the ideals that drive your decisions . By connecting your personality traits to these fundamental values, you create a more comprehensive understanding of yourself, providing a solid foundation for your essay.

To effectively describe your personality, draw upon specific instances where your traits were on display. Recall experiences that highlight your behavior, thoughts, and emotions. By utilizing concrete examples, you lend credibility to your claims about your personality, allowing the reader to envision your character in action.

Step 4: Show, don’t tell

Avoid falling into the trap of generic and vague descriptions. Instead, use vivid language and sensory details to bring your personality to life. Engage the reader’s imagination by painting a clear picture through storytelling. Let them experience your traits firsthand, making your essay more engaging and memorable.

Crafting a well-structured essay is crucial for conveying your personality in a coherent and engaging manner. Begin with an attention-grabbing introduction that captivates the reader’s interest. Organize your essay around key personality traits or themes, ensuring a logical progression of ideas. Maintain a smooth flow between paragraphs, enhancing the overall readability of your essay.

While it’s essential to highlight your strengths, be careful not to come across as arrogant. Emphasize your accomplishments and positive attributes without boasting. Simultaneously, be honest about your weaknesses and areas for growth , demonstrating humility and a willingness to learn from experiences. This balance showcases maturity and self-awareness.

Sharing your essay with trusted individuals can provide valuable perspectives and constructive criticism. Seek feedback from mentors, teachers, or friends who can offer insights into your essay’s strengths and areas that need improvement. Revise and refine your essay based on this feedback, paying close attention to grammar, punctuation, and clarity.

Incorporating these steps and techniques will allow you to masterfully describe your personality in an essay, capturing the essence of who you are in a compelling and authentic manner. Whether you are writing personality essays, an essay about personalities, or an essay on personality, the introduction of your personality essay should create a strong impression. It serves as a gateway for the reader to delve into your unique characteristics and perspectives. By effectively integrating these steps and maintaining a balanced approach, you can create a personality essay introduction that sets the stage for a captivating exploration of your individuality. So, how would you describe yourself? Use these guidelines and examples to express your personality with confidence and authenticity in your essay.

Mastering the art of describing your personality in an essay allows you to authentically express yourself and connect with readers on a deeper level. By embracing self-reflection and emphasizing personal growth, you create a c ompelling narrative that showcases your unique qualities. So, embark on this journey of self-expression and let your personality shine through your writing. Embrace authenticity, as it is through effective self-expression that personal growth and understanding can flourish.

If you’re looking for professional essay writing and editing services, GradeSmiths is here to help. With a team of experienced writers and editors, GradeSmiths offers reliable and high-quality assistance to students in need of essay support. Whether you need help with essay writing, editing, proofreading, or refining your content, GradeSmiths can provide the expertise you require. Their dedicated team is committed to delivering well-crafted essays that meet academic standards and showcase your unique ideas and voice. With GradeSmiths, you can trust that your essay will receive the attention and care it deserves.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Essay on Most Memorable Moment Of My Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on Most Memorable Moment Of My Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Most Memorable Moment Of My Life

My unforgettable day.

One day stands out in my memory more than any other. It was the day I won the school science fair. I had worked on a project about plants for weeks. My heart was full of hope but also fear.

Feelings of Joy

When they called my name as the winner, I felt a rush of happiness. My friends clapped and my parents smiled proudly. That moment was special because I saw my hard work pay off.

Lasting Impact

That day taught me to believe in myself. It will always be a cherished memory that reminds me of the joy of achievement.

250 Words Essay on Most Memorable Moment Of My Life

Introduction.

Everyone has moments in their life that stay in their heart forever. For me, the most memorable moment was when I won a school race. It was not just about running fast, but about overcoming my fears and proving to myself that I could do it.

The Big Race

One sunny day, our school organized a sports event. I was not very good at sports, but I decided to sign up for the race. My friends cheered me on, which made me feel less nervous. When the whistle blew, my heart was pounding, and I ran as fast as I could. To my surprise, I was ahead of others.

Victory and Joy

As I crossed the finish line, I heard my name being shouted by my friends and teachers. I had won the race! It was a shock because I had never thought I could win. I felt so happy and proud of myself. My friends hugged me, and my teachers praised me. It was a wonderful feeling.

Lesson Learned

That day, I learned that it is important to try, even if you are scared or think you can’t win. Winning the race gave me confidence and taught me that hard work and belief in oneself are very powerful.

The day I won the race is the most memorable moment of my life. It showed me that I could achieve great things. Now, whenever I am scared to try something new, I remember that day and feel brave again. It was a simple race, but it changed how I see myself and the world.

500 Words Essay on Most Memorable Moment Of My Life

Introduction to my most memorable moment.

Every person has a few moments in their life that stick with them forever. These are the times that bring a smile to our faces when we think back on them. For me, the most memorable moment was when I won the first prize in a school art competition.

The Day of the Competition

It was a sunny day, and the school hall was buzzing with excitement. Students from all grades had come together to show their artistic skills. I remember feeling a mix of nerves and excitement as I laid out my paints and brushes. My heart was beating fast, and my hands were a little shaky. I took a deep breath and started to paint, trying to put all my feelings and thoughts onto the paper.

The Challenge

The challenge was to create a painting that showed ‘Nature in its Full Glory.’ I had practiced for weeks, but now that the moment was here, it felt different. I had to choose the right colors, the right strokes, and bring my vision to life. I looked around at the other students, who were all focused on their work. It made me want to do my best.

Time Flies By

As I got more into the painting, I forgot about everything else. It was just me, my brushes, and the canvas. Before I knew it, the teachers were announcing that time was up. I stepped back and looked at my work. It was a scene of a sunrise over the mountains with birds flying in the sky. I was proud of it, but I didn’t know if it would be enough to win.

The Announcement

After what felt like forever, the judges came in with their decision. They called out the names for the third and second places. My heart sank a little with each name that wasn’t mine. And then, they called out the first place, and it was my name! I couldn’t believe it. I walked up to the stage, my legs feeling like jelly, to receive my prize. The applause from my friends and teachers filled the room. It was the best feeling ever.

The Impact on Me

Winning the competition didn’t just give me a trophy; it gave me confidence. I realized that if I worked hard and put my heart into something, I could achieve great things. It also made me love art even more. I knew that no matter what happened in life, I could always find joy in painting.

The memory of winning the art competition is something that will always be a part of me. It was a day when I overcame my fears, put my skills to the test, and came out victorious. It taught me valuable lessons about hard work, passion, and self-belief. This moment will forever be a source of happiness and inspiration in my life.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Most Memorable Experience
• Essay on Most Influential Person
• Essay on Most Dangerous Game

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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Remembering an Event Essay: Examples and Guidelines [Free]

Throughout our life, we meet plenty of people and participate in various events. If some of them are just regular, the other people or occasions play a critical role in our fates. Your life-changing experience might become a perfect ground for creating a remembering essay.

Generally, there are two types of such papers:

• “Remembering an event” essay that describes a crucial event form the writer’s life;
• “Remembering a person” essay that portrays an individual that significantly influences the author’s life.

Our writers prepared this article to assist you with the task. Get ready to create your outstanding remembering essay. Our examples and tips will help you in achieving your goal!

• 📜 Common Tips
• ❓ What to Write?
• ❓ How to Write?
• ❓ Who to Choose?
• ❓ What to Say?
• 📋 Essay Organization

📜 Remembering Essay: Common Tips

A remembering essay is a piece of writing that reflects remarkable memories from the past. It has to include either a fascinating story or a description of a person.

Wondering how to write an essay about a person or an event? Here are some basic features that it should have:

• Description . Create a clear image of a person or an event you are talking about. Practice your descriptive writing skills to reach an outstanding result!
• Actions . What were the person’s deeds? How did you act in a particular situation? Your work should contain the elements of a narrative essay. So, tell the reader how things were going and what was your reaction.
• Dialogue . This element is optional but very useful, especially if you are writing a remembering a person essay. A conversation helps to reflect the genuine emotions the characters experienced.
• Outcome . Your remembering essay should have a logical conclusion. Ask yourself several questions. Why is this event so significant for me? Why do I admire that person? Formulate your thoughts with proper words and put them in your conclusion.

🏞️ Remembering an Event Essay: Guide

Remembering the past essay is an intriguing task that forces you to reflect on your life and sometimes recall distant memories. How to co complete this assignment successfully without facing a lot of obstacles? We know some tricks!

Keep on reading and learn some valuable info.

❓ What to Write about?

There are plenty of remembering essay topics. You just need to brainstorm a bit.

Think of something that influenced your perception of life. It can be a serious event, like your relative’s or friends’ birth or death, getting a degree, choosing your education path, or getting employment. This can also be a simple event with a serious outcome.

Some of the ideas are as follows:

• a deep conversation with your loved one,
• watching a movie,
• having a trip,
• visiting a graduation ceremony, etc.

Describe how this occasion influenced you and why you will always remember it.

❓ How to Write it?

Essay writing is might be quite a challenging and stressful process. To make it smooth, follow our simple advice:

• Concentrate on the conflict. Your remembering an event essay should focus on a specific conflict that leads to a logical resolution. In your thesis statement, state the dispute clearly, so the reader can quickly get your focus.
• Keep the readers intrigued. While writing, structure the things logically. Let your readers go through this journey with you. Start from the least important events and gradually reach the most crucial part of your essay.
• Describe the moments precisely. Make sure your story is detailed and emotional enough. Describe what did you feel as the event occurred. How did the surrounders respond? What were the conditions under which the event happened? Your reader should dive deep into that atmosphere.
• Write a dynamic concussion. For a remembering essay, the conclusion plays an essential role. It should reflect your core idea and explain why this memory is so significant for you, so you will never forget it. In case you’re struggling to give your writing a proper tone, try a free essay rewriter and see what results you’ll get.

🧔 Remembering a Person Essay: Guide

Do you need to write an essay about an important person, but you are too overwhelmed? No worries! If you don’t want to turn your essay writing process into a nightmare, look at our tips.

❓ Who to Write about?

Creating a paper about someone you know well is, of course, the best option. It is good to know several stories about them that you can introduce in the essay.

By the way, you can use those stories or anecdotes as a basis for your remembering essay. Yet, we should note that the person you choose should not necessarily be someone who played a crucial role in your life.

❓ What to Talk about?

You have to explain why you cherish the person you are talking about. We have already mentioned that several anecdotes involving them can serve as a basis for remembering a person essay.

One of the primary keys to an effective paper is a detailed description. Ideally, you should provide as many details as you can (however, not too many) so that a teacher can vividly imagine the person after reading your remembering a person essay.

Reading about an essay on memories can be helpful for this part.

📋 Remembering Essay Organization

How to organize the ideas effectively? You may find plenty of advice. But how about not wasting time on selecting the best strategy? Just take a look at ours and use one of them for your essay.

• Chronological Order. It is the most common and effective way of narrating a story. Recall the events step by step. After your story’s climax, explain why the event is so remarkable for you and what lesson you get from it.
• Unfulfilled Expectations. If you experienced an event with an unexpected outcome, consider applying this strategy. Start by telling the reader what did you expect from the situation. Then, describe what happened in reality. Finally, make parallels between the expectations and reality and explain how the mismatch of the outcomes affected you.
• Metaphors. This strategy is for creative people who are willing to make their remembering essay outstanding. If you have several memories (from childhood or recent events), connect them all and associate them with one symbol. Make sure that the most important event is the last one in your story. In your conclusion, reveal the secret. Tell the reader why did you associate your memories with that same symbol.
• Framing. It is kind of “a story in a story” strategy that will keep your reader intrigued till the very end. Start your remembering essay by telling one story that would lead to a flashback and another story. Not finishing the first one, introduce the second. Then, complete your initial story and explain how these two events are related. Don’t forget to highlight their impact on you.

Remembering an Event Essay Topics

• Describe your negative experience in a cosmetics store .
• Write about an event that promoted your learning about life .
• Discuss your first job and the things it taught you.
• Share your travelling experience.
• Remember the day you tried to ride a bicycle for the first time.
• Your experience of creating your personal financial plan.
• Tell about your experience of taking an English course and how it improved your writing.
• Give details of the day you bought your first laptop .
• Describe your visit to the Museum of Western Heritage .
• Remember the time you spent without your cellphone.
• Discuss your experience with the logic course and how it influenced your life.
• Write about a defining event from your childhood.
• Tell of your trip to Yellowstone National Park.
• My conflict with a friend and how I managed to resolve it.
• Give the description of adoption your first pet.
• Describe a challenge you faced in high school and how you managed to overcome it.
• Tell about your visit to Africa .
• Experience I gained from my nursing practicum.
• Share the story about growing up in Italian culture and the impact it made on your life.
• Discuss the day you tried to challenge gender norms.
• Remember the situation when you experienced a culture shock .
• How I took part in English Language Fellow Program .
• Narrate your experience of working in a contact center .
• My experience of building identity being raised in a different culture. 
• Share your reminiscence about the situation when you had to ask for help .

Remembering a Person Essay Topics

• The teacher who influenced my personality .
• Tell about your acquaintances who grew up in multiracial family.  
• Discuss different types of friends you had.  
• Describe your parents and their behavior.  
• Remember and describe happy spouses you know.  
• The teacher who made an impact on my personal life .
• Present your reminiscences about your granny.  
• Tell about the person you had a covert conflict with.
• How I met my best friend for life.
• Remember a person you met volunteering in elderly care .
• Describe your school coach .
• Depict a person you met on social media.
• Represent a person you had romantic relationships with.
• Tell of the people living in your neighborhood .
• Give a description of your favorite school teacher .
• A neighbor that made an impact on your life.
• Write about your colleagues and your relationships with them.
• Describe your mother and your relationships with her.
• Tell about your siblings .
• Remember your grandparents and their role in the formation of your identity.
• Depict the person who helped you to handle stress when you were at high school.
• Represent the immigrant family you are acquainted with.
• The teacher who influenced my career choice .
• Describe a school bullies and how you dealt with them.
• Tell about a knowledgeable consultant you met in the cosmetic store and how it influenced your shopping experience.

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Learn more on this topic:

• School Days Essay: How to Describe a Memorable Event
• Growing Up Essay: Great Ideas for Your College Assignment
• Childhood Memories Essay: Brilliant Writing Ideas
• Writing Essay about Someone Who has Made an Impact on Your Life
• Life Experience Essay: How to Write a Brilliant Paper
• Narrative Essays: Purdue Writing Lab, College of Liberal Arts, Purdue University
• Descriptive Writing, Organization and Structure: Writing Center, Indiana University of Pennsylvania
• Narrative and Reflection Writing Samples: Western Technical College
• Should I Use ‘I’: Writing Center, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
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Descriptive Essay

Descriptive Essay Examples

Descriptive Essay Examples & Writing Tips

13 min read

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Struggling to write a descriptive essay that engages your reader? It can be frustrating to spend hours writing, only to feel like your essay is not meeting your expectations.

Relax, you're not alone! Many students find it difficult to capture readers' attention through descriptive writing.

But don't worry! Our examples of descriptive essays are here to help. These examples provide you with the perfect starting point, helping you to understand how to structure your essay to make it memorable. 

Don't let your descriptive essay fall flat. Explore our examples and learn how to write an essay that your readers won't be able to forget.

Let's dive in to learn more.

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• 1. Grasping the Concept of Descriptive Essays
• 2. Descriptive Essay Examples
• 3. How to Write a Descriptive Essay?
• 4. Tips to Write a Good Descriptive Essay

Grasping the Concept of Descriptive Essays

A descriptive essay is a type of essay in which a writer describes a specific subject in detail. The writer takes help from vivid language to paint a picture in the reader’s mind by engaging the human senses. 

Whether you are writing about a person or an historical events, use strong adjectives and adverbs to present sensory details. The main objective of writing a descriptive essay is to describe a particular subject, person, place, or situation. 

It is written in a way to make the reader feel the same way as you do. It is like a narrative essay where you provide a detailed description of the subject. 

Descriptive essays vividly depict a subject, engaging the reader's senses. They transport readers to the scene described, making it feel real.

To help you grasp the essence of a descriptive essay and enhance your descriptive writing skills, here is a selection of descriptive essay examples pdf that showcase the art of painting with words.

Descriptive Essay Example 5 Paragraph

By following a 5 paragraph structured approach, you'll learn how to create a captivating essay that vividly brings your subject to life.

It consists of five distinct paragraphs, organised in the following sequence:

• Introduction
• Body Paragraph 1
• Body Paragraph 2
• Body Paragraph 3

Here's an example of a descriptive essay using the classic 5-paragraph structure.

Subjective Descriptive Essay Example

Subjective descriptive essays are written based on personal experiences. Take a look at the below examples to understand this descriptive essay format. 

Objective Descriptive Essay Example

The objective descriptive essay is a type of descriptive essay in which you describe a person, place, or thing without any emotions or opinions.

Take a look at the below examples to understand this format better.

Descriptive Essay Example About an Object

Personal Descriptive Essay Example

In a personal descriptive essay, the writer vividly portrays a significant aspect of their life, allowing readers to connect emotionally.

Below is an example of an essay focused on a memorable childhood experience.

Descriptive Essay Example About A Person

Looking for a descriptive essay example about a person? Check out our outstanding example:

Descriptive Essay Example About A Place

Describing a place can be tricky. If you want to write a descriptive essay about a place, it is even more difficult. To understand this format better, let's take a look at this descriptive essay example about a place. 

Short Descriptive Essay Example

Many students fail to understand the key to writing a short descriptive essay. If you are one of them, here is an example that will help you get an idea of how to write it. 

Narrative and Descriptive Essay Example

A narrative descriptive essay is a type of descriptive essay where you narrate a story in an interesting manner. Take a look at the below example to understand how to write this type of essay. 

Narrative Descriptive Essay Example

Descriptive Essay Example for Middle School

Middle school students often struggle to write essays. Descriptive essay assignments might even prove to be more difficult. Here is an example that will help middle schoolers understand this format better.

Descriptive Essay Example for Grade 6

Descriptive Essay Examples For Grade 7

Descriptive Essay Example for High School

High school students face similar challenges as middle schoolers when it comes to descriptive writing. It is difficult to describe something without being generic. If you're going through something similar, here are some examples for you.

Descriptive Essay Example for High School Students

Descriptive Essay Example for Grade 10

Grade 12 Descriptive Essay Examples

Descriptive Essay Example for University and College

College and University students have to deal with complex and more challenging descriptive essay topics. Mostly, they don't have time to write such lengthy essays. Here are some examples that can help them understand such essays better.

Descriptive Essay Example for University Students

Descriptive Essay Example College

Thesis for Descriptive Essay Example

How to Write a Descriptive Essay?

There are many elements to an amazing descriptive essay. For starters, it's important that the writer stays focused on one point when learning how to write a descriptive essay.

Also, uses figurative language so readers can imagine what they're reading about in their minds.

Below are some steps as well as how to write a descriptive essay examples that you should follow for writing.

1. Choose a Good Topic

The best way to make an interesting essay is by choosing a unique topic. It will allow you the freedom of creativity. Be careful not to choose something familiar because it might get boring quickly for readers.

Short on descriptive topic ideas? Check out our extensive list of descriptive essay topics to get inspiration.

2. Create a Strong Introduction

In your opening paragraph, introduce your subject and provide some context. Engage your readers' curiosity by offering a glimpse of what you'll be describing.

Your introduction should have a topic sentence and it must set the tone and establish the mood for the essay.

Here are samples for how to write introduction for your descriptive essays:

How to Start a Descriptive Essay - Examples

Introduction of a Descriptive Essay - Examples

3. Write a Thesis Statement

It is the most important part of any essay. When you are planning a descriptive essay, you need to come up with a strong thesis statement .

A thesis statement is usually one or two sentences that explain the whole point of your essay to the reader.

4. Collect Information

To write a good essay, you need relevant information supporting your thesis statement. Make sure that you get your information from reliable sources.

5. Make an Outline

An essay outline is a way to organize your thoughts and plan what you will say in your essay. In the outline, you should have an introduction, a thesis statement, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Don’t know how to make an outline? Visit our descriptive essay outline blog and learn to create impressive outlines for your descriptive essays.

6. Use Descriptive Language

The heart of your essay lies in the details you provide. Use vivid, sensory language to help your readers envision what you're describing. 

Engage all five senses — sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch — to make your description come to life.

7. Conclude Effectively

In your conclusion, summarise the key points and leave a lasting impression. Reinforce the emotional impact of your description and provide a sense of closure.

Make your readers feel like they've completed a journey with you.

How to End a Descriptive Essay - Examples

8. Proofreading

Proofreading is the process of looking for and correcting any spelling or grammatical errors in a written essay. Proofreading makes a document look more professional, so it is important to do it before submission.

How to Write a Descriptive Essay - Example

Tips to Write a Good Descriptive Essay

Writing a good descriptive essay is both a difficult and easy task. Here we have listed some useful descriptive writing tips that will make your writing process easy and simple.

• Preplanning:  Before you start writing, plan your essay, and write all the essential details. Please do not think that you will remember it just because you know something; it does not happen this way. Write down all the details and assemble them all in one place.
• Use Descriptive Language: Employ vivid and specific language to paint a detailed picture. Instead of general terms, opt for precise adjectives and powerful nouns to convey a clear image.
• Appeal to Emotions: Connect with your readers on an emotional level by describing not just the physical attributes but also the emotional significance of the subject. Help readers feel what you felt.
• Create an Outline:  Creating a descriptive essay outline before starting the essay will keep you focused on the essay topic. Include what you will add to each of the sections. Divide it into the introductory paragraph, thesis statement, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
• Edit and Revise:  No writing process is complete without thorough editing and proofreading. Spelling and grammar checking the essay for plagiarism are the main steps before the final submission of the essay.

Want more tips to improve your descriptive writing skills? Here is a short video clip to help you out. 

If you are not sure that you could write the essay yourself, let the experts at MyPerfectWords.com help you out. Our  descriptive essay writing service can craft custom-tailored, original, and high-quality essays in no time.

We specialize in providing custom papers and essays for various academic levels and subjects. So if you are looking for professiona help, our online essay service is your top choice! 

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Keep reading

How to describe a person vividly: 8 ways

Learning how to describe a person so that the reader forms a vivid impression of your characters is essential for writing compelling stories. Read 8 tips for describing characters so they come to life:

• Post author By Jordan
• 12 Comments on How to describe a person vividly: 8 ways

Knowing how to describe a person so that your reader forms a vivid impression is vital for immersive writing. How can you describe a person precisely and avoid pace-crushing info dumps or eyes, eyes, eyes? Read 8 ways to write better, varied character description:

8 ways to describe people in a story

• Start with character profiles and pin boards
• Focus on details that reveal personality, use detailed descriptive language
• Practice describing people in brief
• Prioritize unique character features
• Describe character actions and gestures
• Find descriptive precise adjectives and fitting comparisons, use descriptive verbs too
• Describe personality via dialogue and voice
• Read writers renowned for good characterization

Let’s dive into each of these ideas for bringing your characters to life:

1. Start with character profiles and pin boards

Before you begin describing people who’ll populate your story, it’s useful to sketch character ideas . It helps if you can answer questions such as:

• What clothing does my character wear?
• What is idiosyncratic or recognizable about how my character moves? What does their body language reveal?
• What would a stranger notice first about this character if they entered a room?
• What is their physical description? What is their eye and hair color, do they have freckles, scars or tattoos?

To build richer descriptions , you could create a pin board on Pinterest before you draft of clothing your character would wear, places they might love to visit. Any visual reference point that captures the essence of their persona.

Another option is to answer character prompts to build a character profile , which you can do in the Now Novel dashboard as you build a downloadable story outline packed with useful story background.

In our monthly writing craft webinars, writing coach Romy Sommer also suggests ‘reverse-casting’ your characters for inspiration:

2. Focus on details that reveal personality

A character’s hair or eye color doesn’t tell the reader much (there are other ways to use eye descriptions to build personality).

When you introduce a character, focus on details that reveal character personality or psychology .

Here’s Dostoevsky describing his character Katerina Ivanova (who has tuberculosis) in  Crime and Punishment (1866):

Describe habitual actions to reveal personality

Katerina Ivanovna had just begun, as she always did at every free moment, walking to and fro in her little room from window to stove and back again, with her arms folded across her chest, talking to herself and coughing. Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment (1866), Chapter 7.

Dostoevsky conveys Katerina’s fragile mental health and state clearly. The coughing is a reminder of her life-threatening condition. The fact she continues to pace despite her discomfort suggests her determined, fighting spirit, which we see in further scenes.

You could also use descriptions of a character’s physical appearance to show their personalities, for example: ‘Jenna’s curly hair was bouncy, like her character. bouncy and bubbly.’

Use objects such as possessions left behind to suggest persona

The acclaimed short story author Alice Munro is a master of understated character development.

In her story ‘Free Radicals’, Munro describes a recently-widowed woman named Nita coming to terms with her husband’s death:

She thought carefully, every morning when she first took her seat, of the places where Rich was not. He was not in the smaller bathroom, where his shaving things still were, along with the prescription pills for various troublesome but not serious ailments which he’d refused to throw out. Alice Munro, ‘Free Radicals’, available via The New Yorker

Munro creates the emotional affect of a deceased spouse’s absence by describing objects in detail that remain once they’ve gone.

A precise detail – the prescription pills Rich refused to throw out – describes something about his hoarding character.

Detail the type of behavior characters might exhibit

Another way to describe a character’s personality is to give an example of something they might do.

Further on in the story, Munro describe pranking behavior that was typical of Rich to suggest a playful nature:

He was of course not out on the half-scraped deck, ready to peer jokingly in the window – through which she might, in earlier days, have pretended to be alarmed at the sight of a peeping tom. Munro, ‘Free Radicals’

The details Munro shares combine character behavior (Rich’s joking at the window) and setting detail (pills left behind that he refused to discard) to simultaneously create a sense of character and place . Her details describe the way people inhabit their spaces. This creates Rich as a vivid, lingering, ghostly presence in Nita’s memory.

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3. Practice describing people in brief

One thing to avoid in choosing how to describe a character in a story is an info dump.

Info-dumping character description makes your reader go, ‘Oh, the author wants to squeeze in everything they possibly can about their character.’ It alerts your reader to the author’s hand, the wizard behind the curtain conjuring Oz. Such spurious description may lose your reader. 

Instead, pick a specific detail to focus on for an introduction, and bring in other visual or descriptive character details as they become relevant to the story/action.

Examples of how to describe people succinctly

Here are a few examples of character descriptions that are precise and impactful:

Her hair had been long and wavy brown then, natural in curl and colour, as he liked it, and her face bashful and soft – a reflection less of the way she was than of the way he wanted to see her. Alice Munro, ‘Dimensions’, Too Much Happiness (2009), p. 2. Available online .

Note how Munro succinctly creates a sense not only of a character’s appearance but how it is affected by her being in a controlling relationship (which we find out more about as the story continues).

A sense of time and change is bundled with character description as we read a factor that shaped the protagonist Doree’s past appearance, now changed at the story’s start.

Below, Kent Haruf uses simile drawn from two elderly brothers’ farmland world to describe their appearance:

Their faces were red and weather-blasted below their white foreheads, the coarse hair on their round heads grown iron-gray and as stiff as the roached mane of a horse. Kent Haruf, Eventide (2004), p. 3.

Practice describing characters in three lines or less. What can you compare their appearance to? What does it say about them?

4. Prioritize unique character features

A large part of learning how to describe a person believably is showing what makes them unique or distinctive.

The Victorian author Charles Dickens, a master of characterization, described people with vivid, characteristic humor.

Here Dickens describes the schoolmaster Thomas Gradgrind, ‘a man of facts and calculations’ in his novel  Hard Times (1854):

The emphasis was helped by the speaker’s voice, which was inflexible, dry, and dictatorial. The emphasis was helped by the speaker’s hair, which bristled on the skirts of his bald head, a plantation of firs to keep the wind from its shining surface, all covered with knobs, like the crust of a plum pie, as if the head had scarcely warehouse-room for the hard facts stored inside. Charles Dickens, Hard Times (1854), full text on Project Gutenberg .

Although Dickens describes his character’s hair, he uses a striking visual metaphor (‘a plantation of firs’).

This leads quickly back to description showing the schoolmaster’s fact-obsessed nature (‘…as if the head had scarcely warehouse-room for the hard facts stored inside’).

Dickens takes the description of Gradgrind as obstinate and fact-obsessed further:

The speaker’s obstinate carriage, square coat, square legs, square shoulders, – nay, his very neckcloth, trained to take him by the throat with an unaccommodating grasp, like a stubborn fact, as it was, – all helped the emphasis. Dickens, Hard Times

Thus Dickens mines a single, defining detail – Gradgrind’s tyrannical obsession with fact over imagination – for cohesive, comical description.

If Dickens had simply said ‘he was balding and inflexible and would lecture the students about facts’, this would create some sense of character. Dickens instead writes stronger description to show us what the character is like.

Yet the unique details Dickens chooses make Thomas Gradgrind especially vivid.

5. Describe character actions and gestures

Showing characters’ gestures and actions is an important part of bringing characters to life.

The way your characters move , their body language and gestures, is a key part of describing personality, status, or mental state.

In the example from Dostoevsky above, Katerina Ivanovna’s anxious pacing conveys her mounting fear over her husband (who drinks away the little money they have).

In Hard Times , Dickens uses movement and body language to reinforce the impression of Gradgrind as domineering and forceful:

“Girl number twenty,” said Mr. Gradgrind, squarely pointing with his square forefinger, “I don’t know that girl. Who is that girl?” “Sissy Jupe, sir,” explained number twenty, blushing, standing up, and curtseying. Dickens, Hard TImes

Dickens extends Gradgrind’s ‘squareness’ through his pointing. Sissy Jupe’s own body language conveys both her own bashfulness and the fact that Gradgrind wields stern authority over his pupils.

Dickens could simply use dialogue for the schoolmaster’s inquiry. Because of Gradgrind’s gestures, though, we get a clear sense of his dominant, demanding persona.

6. Find descriptive adjectives and fitting comparisons

There are two useful tools for accurate description of characters in stories: Precise, exact adjectives , and comparative language.

Finding adjectives to describe people with positive and negative connotations

Positive adjectives to describe a person include:

• Kindness: Kind, fair, caring, thoughtful, non-judgmental, respectful, loving
• Conscientiousness: Principled, upstanding, disciplined, rigorous, thorough, careful, decisive
• Selflessness: Selfless, giving, generous, dedicated
• Intelligence: Smart, insightful, perceptive, brainy, whip-smart, aware, informed, knowledgeable
• Attractive: Beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, hot, sexy, alluring, glamorous, studly, magnetic, hypnotic, fit [UK slang]

These are just some adjectives to describe a person in positive terms. If you need a good word for description:

• Look up a similar, broader word in a thesaurus.
• Find a word you like and look up its full definition and even etymology to ensure it has the right connotations (latent or associated meanings).

Negative adjectives to describe a person might include:

• Cruelty: Cruel, unkind, nasty, vicious, wicked, evil, despicable, malevolent, vindictive
• Ugliness: Hideous, vile, gross, creepy, fugly, monstrous, disgusting
• Boring: Dull, dreary, insufferable, tedious, insipid, bland
• Non-intelligence: Stupid, thick, ignorant, cretinous, basic

Keep in mind that some words to describe people negatively may have socially-offensive connotations (for example ‘dumb’ in the informal sense to mean stupid comes from ‘mute’).

If in doubt, find the most exact adjective whose connotations cannot be read another way.

Find fitting comparisons and use figurative language describing character

Comparisons are a great tool for writing character descriptions that are vivid. Look at how Dickens describes Gradgrind’s bald head in the example above, for example. Dickens uses metaphor (there is no ‘like’ or ‘as though’ which would make it a simile): ‘[Gradgrind’s hair] bristled on the skirts of his bald head, a plantation of firs to keep the wind from its shining surface.’

Now this isn’t the most fitting description (Gradgrind’s head has nothing to do with trees or a plantation of firs). Yet it conjures a precise, memorable image.

In Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon , a father’s anger is shown using the metaphor of a volcano likely to erupt at an time.

Morrison extends this metaphor beautifully to show how Macon’s (the father) anger affects his daughters:

Solid, rumbling, likely to erupt without prior notice, Macon kept each member of his family awkward with fear. His hatred of his wife glittered and sparked in every word he spoke to her. The disappointment he felt in his daughters sifted down on them like ash, dulling their buttery complexions and choking the lilt out of what should have been girlish voices. Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon (1978), p. 10.

7. Describe personality via dialogue and voice

In deciding how to describe characters in your story, dialogue and voice in narration are two powerful tools to create a persona.

People’s speech describes so much about who they are:

• Tone : Is a person often angry, huffy, disappointed (like Macon in the example by Toni Morrison above)
• Vocabulary: Does the person have an extensive vocabulary suggesting they are educated or well-read or the opposite?
• Diction: Does the character have a marked accent, drawl, lisp or other distinguishing feature of the way they speak?
• Voice: What are the actual timbral qualities of your character’s voice? Is it high, low, or in-between? Loud or soft? Grating or pleasant to the hearer?

What your characters talk about (and what they leave unsaid) describes their persona in addition to visual descriptive details. Tweet This

8. Read writers renowned for their characterization

To learn how to describe a person brilliantly, collect memorable character descriptions . Read authors who are particularly noted for their vivid characters.

Many short story authors ( such as Anton Chekhov ) are good at compressing character detail into shorter passages.

Here, for example, is Chekhov describing his character Mihail Petrovitch Zotov, an old man, through dialogue and action tags in his story ‘The Dependents’:

“What an existence!” he grumbled, rolling crumbs of black bread round in his mouth. “It’s a dog’s life. No tea! And it isn’t as though I were a simple peasant: I’m an artisan and a house-owner. The disgrace!” Anton Chekhov, ‘The Dependents’, available online.

Chekhov combines this portrait of the character’s psychological state with description of his appearance:

Grumbling and talking to himself, Zotov put on his overcoat, which was like a crinoline, and, thrusting his feet into huge clumsy golosh-boots (made in the year 1867 by a bootmaker called Prohoritch), went out into the yard. Chekhov, ‘The Dependents’.

Start keeping a journal where you collect character descriptions that strike you as effective. This can become a useful source of inspiration to page through when you are sketching out your own characters.

Before concluding, let’s briefly take a look at how to detail character if you are writing in the first person. So far, we have looked at how to describe when you are writing in the third person point of view. First person description examples will need to be slightly different as you don’t have access to the omniscient narrator device. 

There are various ways to do so, however, and effectively. For example another character could comment on the appearance of the first-person character. Here are some ways:

‘John looked at me with a shocked expression and asked why I had black dots under my eyes.’

‘I glanced into the mirror, and noticed my mascara had smudged, leaving a trail of black dots under each eye.’

Ready to flesh out your characters and get feedback on character descriptions? Start outlining characters , and get constructive feedback from the Now Novel community when you’re ready to revise.

Now Novel is a great platform for all writers to check out – especially for plotting, brainstorming, characterisation and even world building. Their customer service is top notch and I highly recommend NN!— MJ

Related Posts:

• How to describe hands: 6 ways to make characters real
• How to describe setting: 6 ways to bring setting to life
• How to start a novel in third person: 7 tips
• Tags character description , description writing , how to describe a person

Jordan is a writer, editor, community manager and product developer. He received his BA Honours in English Literature and his undergraduate in English Literature and Music from the University of Cape Town.

12 replies on “How to describe a person vividly: 8 ways”

Great post 🙂 Thanks for the tips!

Thanks, Amy! It’s a pleasure. Thanks for reading.

My name is Muhammad saqlain mushtaq I am from pakistan

Hi Muhammad, welcome to our blog. Let me know if you have any questions about character description (or anything else writing related) and I’ll do my best to answer them.

Thanks for very descriptive and inspiring inputs. Impressive and very helpful. This is helpful not only for me but also for everyone. My salute .

Hi Alex, it’s a pleasure. Thank you for reading our blog.

Hi😊 It’s your newest fan here. Thanks Jordan😊

Hi Glajol, I’m glad you’re a fan of our blog. Thank you for reading and saying hi.

I feel like everything you wrote was meant for me because I’m having alot of trouble describing my characters,so thanks alot

Hi Kaitlyn, I’m so glad to hear that. Hope your story goes well further.

Jordan- Wow! This information on building vivid characters is exactly what I was looking for. I am in the early stage of my writing career and struggling with describing my scene or setting and characters. Thank you for providing this resource. This information is great!

Dear Melika, Thanks so much for your comments! So pleased to hear them. All the very best with your writing.

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IELTS Speaking Cue Card

Describe a memorable moment in your life

when the event took place?

where the event took place?

what happened exactly?

and explain why this event is memorable to you.

I have experienced many unforgettable moments in my life that have become milestones to cherish all my life. By far, the most significant one was when I received my drivers’ license. That was a momentous day because I wanted to drive on my own and go on a solo trip to at least one city from each state in India. The benefits that I received from it still exist today. Just knowing that I finally had a driver's license made me feel as free as a bird. I have an undying love for cars and driving and in order to tick off all the things on my bucket list, I needed a driving license. My father stepped up and offered to teach me how to drive. I was completely engrossed and learned everything quickly and signed up for the driving test. I showed up early the day of the test and passed it with flying colours. Just a few days later, I received my license through mail and I was in a state of amazement . I immediately knew it would only take a few days to set out on my adventure. On the same day, I took my father’s car out for a quick drive around my hometown, and I did not go back home until late at night. It was a tremendous feeling to drive all alone and sitting in the driver’s seat just made the experience so much better. I am glad I got my license when I did as it helped me drive to many places I wanted to visit. A few days later, I did start my journey and visited a few places near my hometown and I have not stopped since.

Vocabulary:

• Momentous - of great importance
• Engrossed - absorbed
• Amazement - state of surprise
• Tremendous - excellent

Part 3 Follow Up - Questions & Answers

1. what events usually become memorable in our life.

A memorable moment in someone’s life can be thought of as joyful, nerve-racking, or scary. Everyone has their own personal memories that may never go away. Any event which creates a lasting impression on our mind becomes memorable. It could be our own or our loved one’s wedding or any occasion which leaves a lasting effect on one’s mind.

2. What is the importance of family celebration in our life?

Family traditions create opportunities for making positive memories. When members gather to commemorate milestones and celebrate successes, they create moments in time to carry with them always. The intention of celebrating together serves as an underpinning for nostalgia and fond recollection.

3. What changes have you observed in the last 10 years in terms of family celebration?

A lot has changed in terms of family celebrations. A decade ago, celebrations were more intimate and traditional whereas now especially with the pandemic having set in, there have been radical changes. The past year even witnessed all celebrations being held virtually. We saw weddings, birthdays and festivals being celebrated online.

4. How can a good memory help people to do their work?

We live in a distracted world. From moment to moment, people have various technologies begging for their attention. That can lead to laziness and sloppy thinking. Recalling past events can help keep a mind focused and more disciplined. Research has shown that the more people exercise their memories, the greater the capacity they have for learning new things. That’s an important trait for people to possess at their workplace.

5. Do you think that it’s important to remember all the things? Why?

Psychologists say that holding onto our good memories and leaving the bad ones behind helps us to deal with unpleasant situations and retain a positive outlook on life. So, I strongly feel that we should try and conveniently forget the bad memories and move ahead in life.

6. Why do we want to celebrate special occasions with friends and family?

Yes, true, our families are where we experience our biggest triumphs and our deepest emotions and they are where we have the greatest potential to do good. Celebrating with family and friends allows us to be intentional with our time together. The special memories that are being planted when you spend time together with friends and family participating and celebrating a special event together is another reason I think people prefer to be with family and friends during their celebrations.

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• Essay on Memorable Day of My Life

500 Words Essay On Memorable Day of My Life

We have different types of days in our lives, some are ordinary while some are special. There are some days that get etched in our memories forever. Likewise, I also have a memorable day of my life that is very dear to me. The memories of this day are engraved in my heart and will remain so forever.

My Birthday- Memorable Day of My Life

My tenth birthday is the most memorable day of my life. It is a day I can never forget and I consider it to be the best birthday yet. The day started just like any other normal day. However, as it kept progressing, a lot of exciting things began to happen.

I woke up very early on my birthday because I had to dress up in casual clothes for school . The day before, all my candies were ready that I would distribute in the classroom.

My mother prepared my favourite breakfast and gave me a big chocolate bar for lunch as well. I went to school and the whole class sang for me and congratulated me. It was the turn to distribute sweets.

My best friend and I went to all the teachers to distribute toffees and we had a great time there. Moreover, it was an incredible feeling. My friends were all singing for me and eager to come to my birthday party later in the evening.

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My Birthday Party

The birthday at my school was memorable but the birthday party at my home made the day even more memorable. Also, my mother invited all my friends from school and the colony to the party.

I received so many presents and we played a lot of games. We played games like musical chairs, tag, egg-and-spoon races, and more. There were so many songs playing so everyone did a special dance too.

The highlight of my birthday party was definitely my huge birthday cake. As I love superheroes, my mother got the cake customized with the superhero theme. It was very tasty too and in my favourite flavour.

I spent a lot of time with my family and friends that day. Everyone liked the return gifts as well and went home with a big smile on their faces.

Conclusion of Essay on Memorable Day of My Life

Therefore, my tenth birthday is the most memorable day of my life. It has given me so many happy memories that will remain with me forever. That day makes me feel blessed and lucky to have all those things in my life.

FAQ on Essay on Memorable Day of My Life

Question 1: What is the meaning of a memorable day?

Answer 1:   When we say memorable, we refer to something that we cannot forget easily or something that left us excited. A memorable day is a day that one can recall easily as it is engraved in the memory.

Question 2: What can be an example of a memorable day?

Answer 2: Some people consider their birthday to be the most memorable day. While some consider it a family trip too. Similarly, some people may find their school picnic or fete to be the most memorable day.

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Describe a memorable event in your life - cue card # 669, ielts speaking part 2: ielts cue card/ candidate task card., describe a memorable event in your life..

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