essay in first person

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Ai, ethics & human agency, collaboration, information literacy, writing process, the first person.

• CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 by Frederik DeBoer

The first person—“I,” “me,” “my,” etc.—can be a useful and stylish choice in academic writing, but inexperienced writers need to take care when using it.

There are some genres and assignments for which the first person is natural. For example, personal narratives require frequent use of the first person (see, for example, “ Employing Narrative in an Essay ). Profiles, or brief and entertaining looks at prominent people and events, frequently employ the first person. Reviews, such as for movies or restaurants, often utilize the first person as well. Any writing genre that involves the writer’s taste, recollections, or feelings can potentially utilize the first person.

But what about more formal academic essays? In this case, you may have heard from instructors and teachers that the first person is never appropriate. The reality is a little more complicated. The first person can be a natural fit for expository, critical, and researched writing, and can help develop style and voice in what can often be dry or impersonal genres. But you need to take care when using the personal voice, and watch out for a few traps.

First, as always, listen to your teacher, instructor, or professor. Follow the guidelines given to you; if you’re not supposed to use the first person in a particular class or assignment, don’t! Also, recognize that, while it is not universally valid or helpful, the common advice to avoid the first person in academic writing comes from legitimate concerns about its misuse. Many instructors advise their students in this way due to experience with students misusing the first person.

Why do teachers often counsel against using the first person in an academic paper? Used too frequently or without care, it can make a writer seem self-centered, even self-obsessed. A paper filled with “I,” “me,” and “mine” can be distracting to a reader, as it creates the impression that the writer is more interested in him- or herself than the subject matter. Additionally, the first person is often a more casual mode, and if used carelessly, it can make a writer seem insufficiently serious for an academic project. Particularly troublesome can be constructions like “I think” or “in my opinion;” overused, they can make a writer appear unsure or noncommittal. On issues of personal taste and opinion, statements like “I believe” are usually inferred, and thus repeatedly stating that a statement is only your opinion is redundant. (Of course, if a statement is someone else’s opinion, it must be responsibly cited.)

Given those issues, why is the first person still sometimes an effective strategy? For one, using the first person in an academic essay reminds the audience (and the author) of a simple fact: that someone is writing the essay, a particular person in a particular context. A writer is in a position of power; he or she is the master of the text. It’s easy, given that mastery, for writers and readers alike to forget that the writer is composing from a limited and contingent perspective. By using the first person, writers remind audiences and themselves that all writing, no matter how well supported by facts and evidence, comes from a necessarily subjective point of view. Used properly, this kind of reminder can make a writer appear more thoughtful and modest, and in doing so become more credible and persuasive.

The first person is also well-suited to the development of style and personal voice. The personal voice is, well, personal; to use the first person effectively is to invite readers into the individual world of the writer. This can make a long essay seem shorter, an essay about a dry subject seem more engaging, and a complicated argument seem less intimidating. The first person is also a great way to introduce variety into a paper. Academic papers, particularly longer ones, can often become monotonous. After all, detailed analysis of a long piece of literature or a large amount of data requires many lines of text. If such an analysis is not effectively varied in method or tone, a reader can find the text uninteresting or discouraging. The first person can help dilute that monotony, precisely because its use is rare in academic writing.

The key to all of this, of course, is using the first person well and judiciously. Any stylistic device, no matter its potential, can be misused. The first person is no exception. So how to use the first person well in an academic essay?

• First, by paying attention to the building blocks of effective writing. Good writing requires consistency in reference. Don’t mix between first, second, and third person. Although referring to yourself in the third person in an academic essay is rare (I hope!), sometimes references to “the author” or “this writer” can pop up and cause confusion. “This author feels it is to my advantage…” is a good example of mixing third person references (this author) with first person reference (my advantage). If you must use the third person, keep it consistent throughout your essay: “This author feels it is to his advantage…” Be aware, however, that such references can often sound pretentious or inflated. In most cases it will be better to keep to the simpler first person voice: “I feel it is to my advantage.”
• Similarly, be cautious about mixing the second and first person. Second person reference (“You feel,” “you find,” “it strikes you,”) can be a useful tool, particularly when trying to build a confessional or conversational tone. But as with the third person, mixing second and first person is an easy trap to fall into, and confuses your prose: “I often feel as if you have no choice….” While such constructions can potentially be grammatically correct, they are unnecessarily confusing. When in doubt, use only one form of reference for yourself or your audience, and be clear in distinguishing them. Again, use caution: as the second person essentially speaks for your readers, it can seem presumptuous. In most cases, the first person is a better choice.
• Finally, consistency is important when employing either the singular or plural first person (“we,” “us,” “our”). The first person plural is often employed in literary analysis: “we have to balance Gatsby’s story with Nick’s skepticism.” Here, I would recommend maintaining consistency not just within a sentence or paragraph, but within the entire text. Shifting from speaking about what I feel or think to what we feel or think invites the question of what, exactly, has changed. If a writer has made observations of the type “we know,” and then later of the type “I believe,” it suggests that the writer has lost some perspective or authority.

Once you’ve assured that you’re using the first person in a consistent, grammatically correct fashion, your most important tools are restraint and caution. As I indicated above, part of the power of the first person in an academic essay is that it is a rarely used alternative to the typical third person mode. This power only persists if you use the first person in moderation. Constantly peppering your academic essays with the first person dilutes its ability to provoke a reader. You should use the first person rarely enough to ensure that, when you do, the reader notices; it should immediately contrast with the convention you’ve built in your essay.

Given this need for restraint, student writers would do best to use the first person only when they have a deliberate purpose for using it. Is there something different about the particular passage, paragraph, or moment into which you want to introduce the first person? Do you want to call attention to a particular issue or idea in your paper, particularly if you feel less certain about that idea, or more personally connected to it? Finally, have you established a consistent use of the third person, so that using the first person here represents a meaningful change? After a long, formal argument, the first person can feel like an invitation for the reader to get a little closer.

Think of the first person as a powerful spice. Just enough can make a bland but serviceable dish memorable and tasty. Too much can render it inedible. Use the first person carefully, when you have a good reason to do so, and it can enliven your academic papers.

Use the First Person

Using first person in an academic essay: when is it okay.

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First-Person Point of View: Definition and Examples

4-minute read

• 13th August 2023

The first-person point of view is a grammatical person narrative technique that immerses the reader into the intimate perspective of a single character or individual.

In this literary approach, the story unfolds through the eyes, thoughts, and emotions of the narrator, granting the reader direct access to their inner world. Through the narrator’s use of pronouns such as I and me , readers gain a personal and subjective understanding of the narrator’s experiences, motivations, and conflicts. For example:

If the author uses the third-person point of view , the sentence would read like this:

Why Write From the First-Person Point of View?

This point of view often creates a strong sense of immediacy, enabling readers to form a deep connection with the narrator while limiting the reader’s knowledge to what this character or narrator knows. It’s a dynamic viewpoint that allows the rich exploration of a character’s or narrator’s growth and provides the opportunity to delve into their personal struggles.

First-person narration shouldn’t be used or should be considered carefully in some situations. Familiarize yourself with genre style and tone before making this decision.

Using the First-Person Point of View in Fiction

The first-person point of view is a powerful tool in fiction because it can create an intimate and engaging connection between the reader and the narrator. It is particularly effective for the following purposes.

Developing a Character’s Voice and Personality

First-person narration facilitates a deep exploration of a character’s or narrator’s unique voice, thoughts, and personality. It enables readers to experience the story through the lens of the narrator or a specific character, giving the reader direct insight into their emotions, motivations, and growth.

Portraying Subjective Experiences

When the story relies heavily on the narrator’s or a character’s subjective experience, emotions, and perceptions, the first-person point of view can help the reader connect on a personal level. This bond is especially beneficial in stories that explore complex internal conflicts and psychological themes.

Enhancing Reader Empathy

First-person narratives can foster empathy by enabling readers to see the world through the eyes of the narrator. This perspective can lead to a more emotional and immersive reading experience, allowing readers to relate to and invest in the narrator’s or a character’s journey.

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Conveying Unreliable Narrators

First-person narration is excellent for stories featuring unreliable narrators . Readers can uncover discrepancies between what the narrator says and what they actually do, revealing layers of intrigue and mystery.

Delivering Engaging Storytelling

When the narrative requires a strong and engaging storyteller, the first-person point of view can make the story feel more like a conversation or confession, drawing the reader in.

It’s also important to note that using the first-person point of view comes with limitations. The narrator’s perspective is confined to what they personally experience, possibly limiting the scope of the story’s atmosphere and the portrayal of events that occur outside the narrator’s awareness. Consider how authors of classic novels have utilized point of view in their writing.

The First-Person Point of View in Research Essays

Generally, it’s preferable to avoid the first person in academic and formal writing. Research papers are expected to maintain an objective, unbiased, and impartial tone, focusing on presenting information, data, and analyses clearly. The use of I or we may introduce subjectivity and personal opinions, which can undermine the credibility and professionalism of the research.

Instead, the third-person point of view is preferred because it allows a more neutral and detached presentation of the material. Follow the guidelines and style requirements of the specific field or publication you’re writing for: some disciplines may have different conventions regarding the use of first-person language.

The first person can lend itself to some types of research description when the researcher is discussing why they made a particular decision in their approach or how and why they interpret their findings.

But be aware that when writers attempt to write without reverting to the first person, they often overuse the passive voice . In nonfiction or academic writing, staying in the first person may sometimes be better than using the passive voice.

Ultimately, the decision to use the first person in fiction or nonfiction depends on the specific goals of the author. Fiction authors should consider how this narrative choice aligns with the story’s themes, characters, and intended emotional impact. Research writers should carefully consider whether the use of the first person is necessary to convey their findings and decisions or whether that information could be described as or more effectively without it.

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Capstone Form and Style

Scholarly voice: writing in the first person, first-person point of view.

Since 2007, Walden academic leadership has endorsed the APA manual guidance on appropriate use of the first-person singular pronoun "I," allowing the use of this pronoun in all Walden academic writing except doctoral capstone abstracts, which should not contain a first-person pronoun.

In addition to the pointers below, the APA manual provides information on the appropriate use of first person in scholarly writing (see APA 7, Section 4.16).

APA Style and First-Person Pronouns

APA prefers that writers use the first person for clarity and self-reference.

To promote clear communication, writers should use the first person, rather than passive voice or the third person, to indicate the action the writer is taking.

• This passive voice is unclear as it does not indicate who collected these data.
• This third-person voice is not preferred in APA style and is not specific about who "the researcher" is or which researcher collected these data.
• This sentence clearly indicates who collected these data. Active voice, first-person sentence construction is clear and precise.

Avoid Overusing First-Person Pronouns

However, using a lot of "I" statements is repetitious and may distract readers. Remember, avoiding repetitious phrasing is also recommended in the APA manual.

• Example of repetitive use of "I": In this study, I administered a survey. I created a convenience sample of 68 teachers. I invited them to participate in the survey by emailing them an invitation. I obtained email addresses from the principal of the school…
• We suggest that students use "I" in the first sentence of the paragraph. Then, if it is clear to the reader that the student (writer) is the actor in the remaining sentences, use the active and passive voices appropriately to achieve precision and clarity.

Avoid Second-Person Pronouns

In addition, avoid the second person ("you").

• Example using the second person: As a leader, you have to decide what kind of leadership approach you want to use with your employees.
• It is important for writers to clearly indicate who or what they mean (again back to precision and clarity). Writers need to opt for specificity instead of the second person. Remember, the capstone is not a speech; the writer is not talking to anyone.

Restrict Use of Plural First-Person Pronouns

Also, for clarity, restrict the use of "we" and "our." These should only be used when writers are referring to themselves and other, specific individuals, not in the general sense.

• Example of plural first-person pronoun: We must change society to reflect the needs of current-day children and parents.
• Here, it is important to clarify who "we" means as the writer is not referring to specific individuals. Being specific about the who is important to clarity and precision.

Avoid Unsupported Opinion Statements

When using the first-person "I," avoid opinion statements.

As writers write, revise, and self-edit, they should pay specific attention to opinion statements. The following phrases have no place in scholarly writing:

• I think…
• I believe…
• I feel…

Writers and scholars need to base arguments, conclusions, and claims on evidence. When encountering "I" statements like this, do the following:

• Consider whether this really an opinion or whether this can be supported by evidence (citations).
• If there is evidence, remove the “I think…”, “I believe…”, “I feel…” phrasing and write a declarative statement, including the citation.
• If there is no evidence to cite, consider whether the claim or argument can be made. Remember that scholarly writing is not based on opinion, so if writers cannot support a claim with citations to scholarly literature or other credible sources, they need to reconsider whether they can make that claim.
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How to write a first person essay

• November 18, 2023

A first person essay is a type of academic essay written in the first person point of view that presents a significant lesson learned from a writer’s personal experience.

The aim of a first person essay is to establish a bond with the reader. You encourage the reader to accompany you on your personal journey when writing this type of essay .

Step 1: First person essay example

Before we go further into the steps, analyze  the following first person essay example This will give you an overall idea of what a first person essay is.

First person essay example

When I think of my past life, one of the memories I remember the most vividly is my first day at school. Hook: Engaging first sentence that helps the reader grasp the importance of the event. I have always been a student that loved school and studying; I am what you might consider a nerd. Therefore, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to say how excited I was to start school. Personal information: Information that connects the reader with the writer.

In the weeks leading up to the first school day, I remember checking my stationary my parents had bought me for school every day and admiring them, thinking how excited I was to finally start using them. Opening sentence: Vivid explanation of the past events, creating a more appealing story. I had already learned to read and write before starting elementary school, and I could not wait to see the look on my teacher’s face when I told them, “I already know this stuff!”. Yes, I was an annoying kid. Insights: Insight into the writer’s personality, which creates a more sincere tone. You can ask my childhood friends if you would like to hear someone else’s thoughts on this; I am sure they will tell you the same thing. Concluding sentence: Casual and humorous tone that eases the reader.

You probably expect a happy first day of school story from me right now. Emotional connection: Addressing the reader, therefore strengthening the emotional connection. The truth is far from that. As much as I was a nerd, I was a mamma’s kid. Insights: Further insight into the writer’s personality. So, when my parents dropped me off at school, I started crying my eyes out. Event: Vivid description of the event. I did not want them to leave, but I also wanted to begin my first school day. So, my mother set eyes on a blonde girl that she thought looked like a good kid and made me sit next to her. After starting to chat with my new friend, I slowly eased off and was ready to put on a show. Needless to say, that blonde girl became one of my best friends in elementary school. Feelings: Description of feelings felt by the writer. This helps strengthen the bond between the writer and the reader. Even though it did not go quite according to my plans, I still cherish the memory of my first day at school. Concluding sentence: Concluding sentence of your paragraph which should be memorable and descriptive.

The rest of the school year was much more eventful because, being a crybaby, I started crying even at the slightest of inconvenience. Emotional connection: More insight into the writer’s personality. Adding these details creates an emotional bond with the reader. Naturally, this created a problem for my teacher and classmates, in so much that the deputy headteacher was telling kids to keep quiet, not because it disrupted the class, but because it made me cry. Emphasizing memories: Recounting of more memories in a casual tone. Thinking back to my first school day and generally, my elementary school experience always makes me happy. Therefore, I always have so much fun talking about my school experiences. Final sentence: Your finishing sentences, make sure to make it memorable for your reader.

Step 2: Structure of a first person essay

When it comes to first person essays, both structured academic writing or casual personal narratives can be used.

But remember that the style of first person essays is typically conversational . You need to combine a mixture of personal anecdotes, an emotional connection, and a clear point of view.  So personal pronouns are highly common in first person essays.

First person pronouns

First person pronouns example.

Pronouns such as “ I ,” “ me ,” and “ we ” First person pronouns must be used when writing first person essays. This contrasts with the third person point of view, which uses third person pronouns such as “ he ,” “ she ,” and “ they ”. Third person pronouns

Second person pronouns

Second-person pronouns example.

First person essays also contrast with the second-person point of view, which uses second-person pronouns such as “ you ,” and “ yours ”. Second-person pronouns

Now that we have learned the essentials of first person essays, we can continue with the steps to write an excellent one.

Step 3: Choosing a first person essay topic

Almost any topic can be written in a first person essay. But this should not scare you, as we have some tactics for you to easily choose your topic .

• It doesn’t matter what you write as long as it’s something you’re enthusiastic about.
• Ask yourself this question: “What have I experienced in the past that has had an emotional appeal on me?”
• Choose a topic that is amusing, compelling or moving.
• If you’re having trouble choosing what to talk about, think about what makes you happy or sad.

First person essay topic examples

• Your first day at school
• Your new life in a new city​
• The funniest day of your life​
• A sad event you have gone through​
• A memory from your childhood​

For this guide, we’ve chosen the topic of “ your first day at school .” Above, you’ll see the example essay . When you’ve worked out what you want to say, move on to the next step: figure out your tone.

Step 4: Define your tone

Before starting your first draft, think about your essay’s tone and language (see UK and US English ). 

Your writing style will need to change depending on the purpose of your essay. For instance, i f you’re writing an argumentative or persuasive essay, you may want to use a calculated and rational first person viewpoint .

This will persuade the reader to agree with your key argument. But when you’re writing a reflective essay , you may want to use satire to keep the reader entertained.

So for first person essays, ask yourself these questions to see if your tone is appropriate:

• Is my tone clear?
• Is my writing intimate and appealing?​
• Can my first person storytelling connect with the reader?​

If your answers to these questions are “ yes ,” you are probably doing a good job.

Step 5: Create an outline

It’s time to make a brief outline now that you’ve selected your topic and decided on the right tone. The outline will help you get your thoughts organized. It will also help you with the order of your headings in the writing process .

Your first person essay should follow the traditional introduction , body paragraphs , and conclusion essay structure, unless stated otherwise.

Example of a first person essay outline

• Personal information
• Concluding sentence
• Final sentence

Ask yourself these questions while creating your outline:

• What are your story’s or argument’s key points?
• What are the places, people, and events that are important for my essay?​
• What do you want people to understand from your first person essay?​
• What feelings do you want to inspire or trigger?​
• What do you want your readers to think about you? ​

Step 6: Write your first draft

Now, let’s get to writing. The first draft of your essay is an important step toward creating a well-thought-out and concentrated academic essay .

First person essay introduction first draft example

Introduction (Hook, Personal information) I was always attracted by the stars in the night sky as a youngster. They appeared to be tiny pinpricks of light, far away and enigmatic. My passion in astronomy only grew as I grew older, and I began to spend countless hours studying the stars and planets. I didn't realize the enormous power of a telescope until I was in college. I could see aspects of the world that I had never dreamed conceivable with such a little tool. I've been studying the stars as an amateur astronomer for almost a decade. I've always been captivated by the universe's beauty and complexity, and I feel is no greater thrill than learning something new about our surroundings.

Things to consider

• Don’t be too harsh on your first draft. You’ll have plenty of time to revise it later.
• All you have to do now is identify your story's basic elements: characters, locations, and incidents.​
• It’s fine to stop, gather your thoughts, and remind yourself of your main idea when writing your first draft.​
• If you can, give yourself a few days to rest after writing the draft, then come back and revise it. ​

More on first draft

Step 7: revise your draft and finish writing, first person essay introduction final draft example.

Introduction (Hook, Personal information) I was always attracted by the stars The stars always attracted me in the night sky as a youngster. They appeared to be tiny pinpricks of light, far away and enigmatic. My passion in astronomy only for astronomy grew as I grew older, and I began to spend spent countless hours studying the stars and planets. I didn't realize only realized the enormous power of a telescope until once I was in college. I could see aspects of the world that I had never dreamed of conceivable with such a little tool. I've been studying studied the stars as an amateur astronomer for almost a decade. I've always been captivated by the universe's beauty and complexity, and I feel and there is no greater incredible thrill than learning something new about our surroundings.

Important things to consider while revising

• Don’t just tell the reader what’s going on; use vivid common words, phrasal words , transition words , and transition sentences to describe the situation and depict the storyline.
• Avoid excessive emotions. It’s perfectly appropriate to convey happiness, frustration, or sadness, but you must strike a balance.​
• Proofread the essay for common mistakes , spelling and grammar mistakes ( active and passive etc.), capitalization rules , punctuation, and repetitions.
• Examine the writing and see if it’s straightforward and to-the-point and whether you’re sharing your ideas in an understandable way.
• Is there consistency in the essay, both structurally and contextually?
• Are there any passive voice sentences that I can rewrite in active voice?​
• Is there enough sensory information in my essay to touch the reader and make them feel like they’re a part of my experience?​

Key takeaways

• A first-person essay is a type of essay that is written from the perspective of the author, using "I" statements and personal experiences.
• To write a first-person essay, you must be willing to share personal details and experiences with your reader.
• Begin your essay with a clear introduction that provides context for your topic and establishes your voice as the author.
• Use personal anecdotes, sensory details, and other techniques to bring your experiences to life and engage the reader.
• End your essay with a conclusion that reflects on your experiences and provides a final thought or message for the reader.

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How to write a First Person Essay and Get a Good Grade

First-person essays are fun essays to write. The reason is that they are usually written in the first-person perspective. In this article, you will discover everything crucial you need to know about first-person essay writing.

By reading this article, you should be able to write any first-person essay confidently. However, if you need assistance writing any first-person essay, you should order it from us. We have competent writers who can write any first-person essay and deliver ASAP.

What is a first-person Essay?

A first-person essay is an academic writing task written from the first-person perspective. A typical first-person essay will involve the author describing a personal experience. This is the reason why first-person essays are also known as personal essays .

Since first-person essays are personal, they are usually written in a casual tone and from the first-person point of view. However, there are occasions when such essays must be written in a formal tone (calling for using citations and references). Nevertheless, as stated, they are often written in a casual tone.

The best first-person essays are those with a casual tone and a solid first-person point of view (POV). A casual tone is a conversational tone or a non-formal tone.

And a solid first-person POV writing is writing that is characterized by the generous use of first-person pronouns, including “I,” “me,” and “we.” It differs from the academic third-person POV writing that is characterized by the use of third-person pronouns such as “her,” “he,” and “them.”

Types of First-person Essays

There are several types of first-person essays in the academic world. The most popular ones include admission essays, reflective essays, scholarship essays, statement of purpose essays, personal narrative essays, and memoirs.

1. Admission essays

An admission essay, a personal statement, is a first-person essay that potential students write when applying for admission at various universities and colleges. Most universities and colleges across the US require potential students to write an admission essay as part of their college application.

They do this better to understand students beyond their academic and extracurricular achievements. As a result, the best college admission essays are often descriptive, honest, introspective, meaningful, engaging, and well-edited.

2. Reflective essays

A reflective essay is a first-person essay in which the author recalls and evaluates an experience. The objective of the evaluation is usually to determine whether an experience yielded any positive or negative change. Professors typically ask students to write reflective essays to encourage critical thinking and promote learning.

Reflective essays can be written in various styles. The most popular style is the conventional introduction-body-conclusion essay writing style. The best reflective essays follow this style. In addition, they are introspective, precise, well-structured, and well-edited.

3. Scholarship essays

A scholarship essay is a first-person essay you write to get a scholarship. Most competitive scholarships require students to submit an essay as part of their application. The scholarship essay submitted is one of the things they use to determine the scholarship winner.

Usually, when scholarship committees ask applicants to write a scholarship essay, they expect the applicants to explain what makes them the most suitable candidates/applicants for the scholarship. Therefore, when you are asked to write one, you should do your best to explain what makes you deserve the scholarship more than anyone else.

The best scholarship essays are those that are honest, direct, useful, and precise. They also happen to be well-edited and well-structured. 

4. Statement of purpose essays

A statement of purpose essay is a first-person essay that graduate schools require applicants to write to assess their suitability for the programs they are applying to. A statement of purpose is also known as a statement of intent. The typical statement of purpose is like a summary of an applicant’s profile, including who they are, what they have done so far, what they hope to achieve, and so on.

When you are asked to write a statement of purpose essay, you should take your time to assess what makes you a good candidate for the program you want to join. You should focus on your relevant academic achievements and what you intend to achieve in the future. The best statement of purpose essays is those that are well-structured, well-edited, and precise.

5. Personal narrative essays

A personal narrative essay is a first-person essay in which the author shares their unique experience. The most successful personal narrative essays are those that have an emotional appeal to the readers. You can create emotional appeal in your personal narrative essay by using vivid descriptions that will help your readers strongly relate to what you are talking about. You can also create emotional appeal in your personal narrative essay by generously using imageries.

The typical personal narrative essay will have three parts: introduction-body-conclusion. In addition, the best ones usually have good descriptions of various settings, events, individuals, etc. Therefore, to write an excellent personal narrative essay, you should focus on providing a detailed and engaging description of whatever you are talking about.

A memoir is a first-person essay written to provide a detailed historical account. Memoirs are usually written to share confidential or private knowledge. Retired leaders often write memoirs to give a historical account of their leadership era from their perspective.

You may not be worried about the prospect of being asked to write a memoir as a college student, but it is good to know about this type of first-person essay. It may be helpful to you in the future. Moreover, you can always write a memoir to be strictly read by your family or friends.

 Structure and Format of a First-Person Essay

You are not required to follow any specific format when penning a first-person essay. Instead, you need to write it just like a standard format essay . In other words, ensure your essay has an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.

1. Introduction

Your essay must have a proper introduction paragraph. An introduction paragraph is a paragraph that introduces the readers to what the essay is all about. It is what readers will first read and decide whether to continue reading the rest of your essay. Thus, if you want your essay to be read, you must get the introduction right.

The recommended way to start an essay introduction is to begin with an attention-grabbing sentence. This could be a fact related to the topic or a statistic. By starting your essay with an attention-grabbing sentence, you significantly increase the chances of readers deciding to read more.

After the attention-grabbing sentence, you must include background information on what you will discuss. This information will help your readers know what your essay is about early on.

The typical essay has a body. It is in the body that all the important details are shared. Therefore, do not overshare in the introduction when writing a first-person essay. Instead, share your important points or descriptions in the body of your essay.

The best way to write the body of your first-person essay is first to choose the most important points to talk about in your essay. After doing this, you are supposed to write about each point in a different paragraph. Doing this will make your work structured and easier to understand.

The best way to write body paragraphs is, to begin with, a topic sentence that sort of declares what the writer is about to write. You should then follow this with supporting evidence to prove your point. Lastly, you should finish your body paragraph with a closing sentence that summarizes the main point in the paragraph and provides a smooth transition to the next paragraph.

3. Conclusion

At the end of your first-person essay, you must offer a conclusion for the first-person essay to be complete. The conclusion should restate the thesis of your essay and its main points. And it should end with a closing sentence that wraps up your entire essay.

Steps for Writing a First-Person Essay

If you have been asked to write a first-person essay, you should simply follow the steps below to write an excellent first-person essay of any type.

1. Choose a topic

The first thing you need to do before you start writing a first-person essay is to choose a topic. Selecting a topic sounds like an easy thing to do, but it can be a bit difficult. This is because of two things. One, it is difficult for most people to decide what to write about quickly. Two, there is usually much pressure to choose a topic that will interest the readers.

While it is somewhat challenging to choose a topic, it can be done. You simply need to brainstorm and write down as many topics as possible and then eliminate the dull ones until you settle on a topic that you know will interest your readers.

2. Choose and stick to an essay tone

Once you choose a topic for your essay, you must choose a tone and maintain that tone throughout your essay. For example, if you choose a friendly or casual tone, you should stick to it throughout your essay.

Choosing a tone and sticking to it will make your essay sound consistent and connected. You will also give your essay a nice flow.

3. Create an outline

Once you have chosen a topic and chosen a tone for your essay, you should create an outline. The good news about creating an outline for a first-person essay is that you do not have to spend much time doing research online or in a library. The bad news is that you will have to brainstorm to create a rough sketch for your essay.

The easiest way to brainstorm to create a rough sketch for your essay is to write down the topic on a piece of paper and create a list of all the important points relevant to the topic. Make sure your list is as exhaustive as it can be. After doing this, you should identify the most relevant points to the topic and then arrange them chronologically.

Remember, a first-person essay is almost always about you telling a story. Therefore, make sure your points tell a story. And not just any story but an interesting one. Thus, after identifying the relevant points and arranging them chronologically, brainstorm and note down all the interesting details you could use to support them. It is these details that will help to make your story as enjoyable as possible.

3. Write your first draft

After creating your outline, the next thing to do is to write your first draft. Writing the first draft after creating a comprehensive outline is much easier. Consequently, simply follow the outline you created in the previous step to writing your first draft. You already arranged the most relevant points chronologically, so you shouldn’t find it challenging to write your first draft.

When writing this first draft, remember that it should be a good story. In other words, ensure your first draft is as chronological as possible. This will give it a nice flow and make it look consistent. When writing the first draft, you will surely remember new points or details about your story. Feel free to add the most useful and interesting ones.

4. Edit your essay

After writing your first draft, you should embark on editing it. The first thing you need to edit is the flow. Make sure your first draft has a nice flow. To do this, you will need to read it. Do this slowly and carefully to find any gaps or points of confusion in your draft. If you find them, edit them to give your story a nice flow.

The second thing you need to edit is the tone. Make sure the draft has a consistent tone throughout. Of course, ensure it is also in first-person narrative from the first paragraph to the last. The third thing you need to edit is the structure. Ensure your essay has a good structure with three parts: introduction, body, and conclusion.

5. Proofread your essay

After ensuring your essay has a nice flow, a consistent tone, and a good structure, you should proofread it. The purpose of doing this is to eliminate all the grammar errors, typos, and other writing mistakes. And the best way to do it is to read your essay aloud.

Reading your essay aloud will help you catch writing errors and mistakes. However, you should also proofread your essay using an online editor such as Grammarly.com to catch all the writing errors you may have missed.

After proofreading your essay, it will be crisp and ready for submission.

Topic ideas for a first-person essay

Below are some topic ideas for first-person essays. Since there are several distinct types of first-person essays, the ideas below may not be relevant to some types of first-person essays. However, the list below should give you a good idea of common first-person essay topics.

• A story about losing a friend
• A story about your first foreign trip
• A story about the best thing that happened to you
• A dangerous experience that happened to you
• A high school friend you will never forget
• A story about how you learned a new skill
• The most embarrassing thing that happened to you
• The first time you cooked your own meal
• The first time you did something heroic
• The first time you helped someone in need
• Your first job
• The most fun you’ve ever had
• The scariest thing that ever happened to you
• A day you will never forget
• The biggest life lesson you have learned
• How you met your best friend
• Your first time driving a car
• Your first time, feel depressed and lost
• A story from a vacation trip
• Your cultural identity

Sample Outline of a First-person Essay

Below is a sample outline of a first-person essay. Use it to create your first-person essay outline when you need to write a first-person essay.

• Attention-grabbing sentence
• Background info
• Thesis statement
• Body Paragraph 1
• First major point
• Closing sentence

2. Body Paragraph 2

• Second major point

3. Body Paragraph 3

• Third major point

4. Conclusion

• Thesis restatement
• Summary of major points
• Concluding statement

Example of a first-person essay

My First Job Your first job is like your first kiss; you never really forget it, no matter how many more you get in the future. My first job will always be remarkable because of the money it gave me and how useful it made me feel. About two weeks after my 17 th birthday, my mother asked me if I could consider taking a job at a small family restaurant as a cleaner. I agreed. I could say no if I wanted to, but I didn’t. My mother was a single mother working two jobs to care for my three younger siblings and me. She always came back home tired and exhausted every single day. I had always wanted to help her, and as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I grabbed it with my two hands. My mother had heard about the cleaner job from a close friend; hence she hoped I could do it to earn money for our family. Once I agreed, I went to the restaurant the next day. I took the train and arrived at about seven in the morning. The restaurant was already packed at this time, with the workers running around serving breakfast. I asked to speak to someone about the cleaning job, and I was soon at the back office getting instructions about the job. Apparently, I was the first to show genuine interest in taking the job. For the first three days, the other staff showed me around, and after that, I started cleaning the restaurant daily at $8 an hour. Now $8 an hour may seem like little money to most people, but to me, it meant the world! It was money I didn’t have. And within the first week, I had made a little over $400. I felt very proud about this when I got my first check. It made me forget how tired I was becoming from working every day. It also made me happy because it meant my mom didn’t have to work as hard as she did before. Moreover, within a month of working at the restaurant, I had accumulated over $250 in savings, which I was very proud of. The little savings I had accumulated somehow made me feel more financially secure. Every weekend after work was like a victory parade for me. The moment I handed over half my pay to my mother made me feel so helpful around the house. I could do anything I wanted with the remaining half of the pay. I used quite a fraction of this weekly to buy snacks for my siblings. This made me feel nice and even more useful around the house. After about three months of work, my mom got a promotion at one of her places of work. It meant I no longer needed to work at the restaurant. But I still went to work there anyway. I did it because of the money and how useful it made me feel. I continued working at the restaurant for about five more months before joining college.

Final Thoughts!

First-person essays are essays written from the first-person perspective. There are several first-person perspective essays, including personal narrative essays, scholarship essays, admission essays, memoirs, etc.

In this post, you learned everything crucial about first-person essays. If you need help writing any first-person essay, you should contact us. We’ve got writers ready to write any type of first-person essay for you.

Any of our writers can ensure your first-person essay is excellent, original, error-free, and ready for submission.

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• Writing Tips

Use of the First Person in Academic Writing

3-minute read

• 29th July 2014

Early in our school lives, we are encouraged to express our thoughts and opinions. This sometimes leads to a writing style very focused on the first person, with sentences which begin ‘I believe’, ‘I think’, ‘In my opinion’, etc.

There are differing opinions about whether or not first-person pronouns should be used in academic writing . Whatever your position, though, overuse of ‘I’ or ‘my’ is not a good idea, as it can draw focus from the subject under discussion.

When Not to Use the First Person

When writing, there is no need to state that you think something. Asserting it as fact implies that you believe it. For example, take these sentences:

• Henderson’s argument is invalid because…
• I believe Henderson’s argument is invalid because…

These both mean the same thing. Saying ‘I believe’ is unnecessary, as it is clear that you are expressing an opinion without having to signal it explicitly!

The first sentence is also more persuasive, as the second seems like mere opinion. Your argument is not strengthened by writing ‘I think that…’, but rather by providing relevant supporting evidence.

When to Use the First Person

Sometimes the first person is useful for highlighting how your opinion differs from a thinker you are discussing. For example, in summing up, you might say ‘while Henderson has stated X, I believe the opposite’.

Unless your university forbids using ‘I’ in essays, you can also use the first person when describing your methods to avoid awkward sentences. For instance, the following sentence is a bit confusing:

It was concluded that the new technique can reduce remission rates.

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The question, then, is who made the conclusion? To ensure clarity, the sentence could be written as:

We conclude that the new technique can reduce remission rates.

This eliminates the ambiguity over who is drawing the conclusion, as well as being more impactful by using the active rather than passive voice.

The crucial thing to consider when using the first person in your work is whether it detracts from the focus of your argument. Using ‘I’ or ‘we’ when describing your methodology is generally fine, since it clarifies the role you play in the research process.

But phrases like ‘In my opinion…’ do not add to the clarity of your writing. Instead, they make it seem like your research is more about you than whatever you’re investigating!

Finally, if in any doubt, it is always best to check with your supervisor or style guide before setting to work. Good luck!

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First Person Guidelines

Chalkbeat publishes personal essays in a series we call First Person . Our goal is to elevate the voices of students, educators, parents, advocates, and others on the front lines of trying to improve public education.

We’re not looking for traditional opinion pieces. We’re seeking essays centered around the writer’s personal experience or observation. Our pieces are usually around 800 words.

Strong First Person essays have a conversational tone, presenting specific examples from the author’s life and connecting those examples to larger issues.

We’re always looking for pieces that...

Consider a news event’s real-life impact on students, educators, and schools.

• I’m a college access counselor. Here’s how the affirmative action decision could upend the application process.
• After Uvalde, I dread going to school. When will our leaders act?
• When students ask why they haven’t seen cicadas, we need to talk about environmental racism

Provide a unique personal perspective about an issue people are talking about.

• As we embrace the ‘science of reading,’ we can’t leave out older students
• I was hired to write a Black history curriculum. Then I was asked to walk back key concepts.
• I voted for masks in school. I worried for my safety after.

Are vulnerable in acknowledging uncomfortable emotions and experiences, and the lessons that emerged as a result.

• I never thought my child would need a school social worker, but I’m so glad she’s in our lives
• Losing my Spanish feels like losing part of myself ( Leer en español )
• I cried in front of my teenage students — with my camera on. What happened next moved me through my tears.

Take on conventional wisdom about education, or about being an educator, a student, or a parent of a student.

• I asked my daughter if she’d read Dickens. She asked me if I had read Trevor Noah’s memoir.
• My high school is exempt from Regents exams. Other schools should be, too.
• Calculus is seen as a proxy for high-achieving students. That’s a problem.

Discuss the complex educational choices students and families face.

• I live in the neighborhood where Adam Toledo was killed. Here’s what it’s like to raise a child there. ( Leer en español )
• Preschool suspensions are harmful — and surprisingly common. Curbing them is personal.  
• Here’s what it was like for me to transition from ESL to mainstream classes

Speak to the lived experience of educators.

• Without paid parental leave, I went back to teaching three weeks after giving birth
• I’m a school psychologist trained for tense situations. Too often, schools call the police instead of letting me do my job .
• I’m a long-term substitute. The pandemic revealed just how vulnerable teachers like me are.

Shed light on an untraditional educational experience.

• When my daughter was being treated for cancer, her teacher worked from the hospital
• I helped my fellow inmates earn their GED. It was more rewarding than I could have imagined.
•  At 17, I was homeless and alone. Here’s how my school helped me back on my feet.

Recount formative classroom experiences, why they were significant, and what changed as a result.

• I was a Stuyvesant high school senior on 9/11. It changed me forever.
• I used to see college as just a prerequisite for med school. A philosophy course changed my mind.
• I’m a first-year teacher during the pandemic. Here’s what helped me find my footing.
• Traditional op-eds that approach an issue solely from a pro/con perspective.
• Academic submissions that don’t speak to a personal experience.
• Pieces that focus on promoting a specific organization, tool, or program.

Using “I” in Academic Writing

Traditionally, some fields have frowned on the use of the first-person singular in an academic essay and others have encouraged that use, and both the frowning and the encouraging persist today—and there are good reasons for both positions (see “Should I”).

I recommend that you not look on the question of using “I” in an academic paper as a matter of a rule to follow, as part of a political agenda (see webb), or even as the need to create a strategy to avoid falling into Scylla-or-Charybdis error. Let the first-person singular be, instead, a tool that you take out when you think it’s needed and that you leave in the toolbox when you think it’s not.

Examples of When “I” May Be Needed

• You are narrating how you made a discovery, and the process of your discovering is important or at the very least entertaining.
• You are describing how you teach something and how your students have responded or respond.
• You disagree with another scholar and want to stress that you are not waving the banner of absolute truth.
• You need “I” for rhetorical effect, to be clear, simple, or direct.

Examples of When “I” Should Be Given a Rest

• It’s off-putting to readers, generally, when “I” appears too often. You may not feel one bit modest, but remember the advice of Benjamin Franklin, still excellent, on the wisdom of preserving the semblance of modesty when your purpose is to convince others.
• You are the author of your paper, so if an opinion is expressed in it, it is usually clear that this opinion is yours. You don’t have to add a phrase like, “I believe” or “it seems to me.”

Works Cited

Franklin, Benjamin. The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin . Project Gutenberg , 28 Dec. 2006, www.gutenberg.org/app/uploads/sites/3/20203/20203-h/20203-h.htm#I.

“Should I Use “I”?” The Writing Center at UNC—Chapel Hill , writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/should-i-use-i/.

webb, Christine. “The Use of the First Person in Academic Writing: Objectivity, Language, and Gatekeeping.” ResearchGate , July 1992, doi: 10.1111/j.1365-2648.1992.tb01974.x.

J.S.Beniwal 05 August 2017 AT 09:08 AM

I have borrowed MLA only yesterday, did my MAEnglish in May 2017.MLA is of immense help for scholars.An overview of the book really enlightened​ me.I should have read it at bachelor's degree level.

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Dr. Raymond Harter 25 September 2017 AT 02:09 PM

I discourage the use of "I" in essays for undergraduates to reinforce a conversational tone and to "self-recognize" the writer as an authority or at least a thorough researcher. Writing a play is different than an essay with a purpose.

Osayimwense Osa 22 March 2023 AT 05:03 PM

When a student or writer is strongly and passionately interested in his or her stance and argument to persuade his or her audience, the use of personal pronoun srenghtens his or her passion for the subject. This passion should be clear in his/her expression. However, I encourage the use of the first-person, I, sparingly -- only when and where absolutely necessary.

Eleanor 25 March 2023 AT 04:03 PM

I once had a student use the word "eye" when writing about how to use pronouns. Her peers did not catch it. I made comments, but I think she never understood what eye was saying!

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The Donald Trump I Saw on The Apprentice

For 20 years, i couldn’t say what i watched the former president do on the set of the show that changed everything. now i can..

On Jan. 8, 2004, just more than 20 years ago, the first episode of The Apprentice aired. It was called “Meet the Billionaire,” and 18 million people watched. The episodes that followed climbed to roughly 20 million each week. A staggering 28 million viewers tuned in to watch the first season finale. The series won an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program, and the Television Critics Association called it one of the best TV shows of the year, alongside The Sopranos and Arrested Development . The series—alongside its bawdy sibling, The Celebrity Apprentice —appeared on NBC in coveted prime-time slots for more than a decade.

The Apprentice was an instant success in another way too. It elevated Donald J. Trump from sleazy New York tabloid hustler to respectable household name. In the show, he appeared to demonstrate impeccable business instincts and unparalleled wealth, even though his businesses had barely survived multiple bankruptcies and faced yet another when he was cast. By carefully misleading viewers about Trump—his wealth, his stature, his character, and his intent—the competition reality show set about an American fraud that would balloon beyond its creators’ wildest imaginations.

I should know. I was one of four producers involved in the first two seasons. During that time, I signed an expansive nondisclosure agreement that promised a fine of $5 million and even jail time if I were to ever divulge what actually happened. It expired this year.

No one involved in The Apprentice —from the production company or the network, to the cast and crew—was involved in a con with malicious intent. It was a TV show , and it was made for entertainment . I still believe that. But we played fast and loose with the facts, particularly regarding Trump, and if you were one of the 28 million who tuned in, chances are you were conned.

As Trump answers for another of his alleged deception schemes in New York and gears up to try to persuade Americans to elect him again, in part thanks to the myth we created, I can finally tell you what making Trump into what he is today looked like from my side. Most days were revealing. Some still haunt me, two decades later.

Nearly everything I ever learned about deception I learned from my friend Apollo Robbins. He’s been called a professional pickpocket, but he’s actually a “perceptions expert.” Apollo has spent his life studying the psychology of how we distort other people’s perceptions of reality and has done so by picking pockets onstage for the entertainment of others. He is a master of deception, a skill that made him, back in the day, the so-called best-kept secret in Las Vegas. After “fanning” his marks with casual, unobtrusive touch designed to make them feel safe or at ease, Apollo determines where the items reside—the wallet inside a breast pocket, the Rolex fastened to a wrist—and he removes these items without detection. He’ll even tell you what he intends to steal before he does it. He does this not to hurt people or bewilder them with a puzzle but to challenge their maps of reality. The results are marvelous. A lot of magic is designed to appeal to people visually, but what he’s trying to affect is your mind, your moods, your perceptions.

As a producer working in unscripted, or “reality,” television, I have the same goal. Like Apollo, I want to entertain, make people joyful, maybe even challenge their ways of thinking. But because I often lack the cinematic power of a movie, with its visual pyrotechnics or rehearsed dialogue, I rely on shaping the perceptions of viewers, manipulating their maps of reality toward something I want them to think or feel.

The presumption is that reality TV is scripted. What actually happens is the illusion of reality by staging situations against an authentic backdrop. The more authentic it is to, say, have a 40-foot wave bearing down on a crab boat in the Bering Sea for Deadliest Catch , the more we can trick you into thinking a malevolent Russian trawler is out there messing with the crabber’s bait. There is a trick to it, and when it works, you feel as if you’re watching a scripted show. Although very few programs are out-and-out fake, there is deception at play in every single reality program. The producers and editors are ostensibly con artists, distracting you with grand notions while we steal from you your precious time.

But the real con that drove The Apprentice is far older than television. The “pig in the poke” comes from an idiom dating to 1555: “I’ll never buy a pig in a poke / There’s many a foul pig in a fair cloak.” It refers to the time-honored scam of selling a suckling pig at market but handing over a bag (the poke) to the purchaser, who never looks inside it. Eventually, he discovers he’s purchased something quite different.

Our show became a 21 st -century version. It’s a long con played out over a decade of watching Trump dominate prime time by shouting orders, appearing to lead, and confidently firing some of the most capable people on television, all before awarding one eligible person a job. Audiences responded to Trump’s arrogance, his perceived abilities and prescience, but mostly his confidence . The centerpiece to any confidence game is precisely that— confidence .

As I walk into my interview for The Apprentice , I inadvertently learn how important it is for every one of us involved to demonstrate confidence above all else.

I sit down with Jay Bienstock, the showrunner, who has one last producer position to fill and needs somebody capable and hardworking. His office is sparse, and the desk is strategically placed directly across from the couch, with a noticeable angle downward from his desk to whomever is seated across from him. (I’m recalling all of the quoted conversations here to the best of my ability; they are not verbatim.)

He is smiling and even laughing throughout the interview, but from the steep angle at which he gazes down on me, there is no mistaking who is in charge. He seems to like what he hears and offers to follow up with my agent. “But I have to check your references before I can hire you,” he says. “You’d be crazy not to,” I reply. He laughs, claps his hands together, and grins. “ THAT’S what I’m talking about,” he says. “That’s the confidence this show needs!”

I sit there, several inches below eyeline, and ponder what just happened. What, I wonder, is so “confident” about suggesting he’d be crazy to not check my references? Then it dawns on me. He thinks I meant “You’d be crazy not to hire me.” The signal to noise begins.

Listen to Bill Pruitt discuss this story on What Next , Slate’s daily news podcast:

Before I leave, I have to ask: Why Trump? Bienstock discovers that we both lived in New York for a time. Knowing what we know about Trump, selling the idea that intelligent people would compete to land a job working for him will be a challenge.

“The idea is to have a new and different billionaire every season—just like there’s a new and different island on Survivor . We reached out to Spielberg, Katzenberg, Geffen, among others,” he says. “Trump is the only one who agreed to sign on.” (Bienstock didn’t respond to a request for comment.)

“We’ll make it work,” Bienstock says confidently. I rise, shake his hand, and leave, and head over to Dutton’s bookstore to pick up a used copy of Trump’s The Art of the Deal . It is filled with takeaways about branding and strategizing but conveniently omits Trump bluffing his way through meetings with contractors, stiffing them when it is convenient to do so, and betraying his most trusted colleagues to get what he wants. (The book’s ghostwriter, Tony Schwartz, has since tried to get the bestseller recategorized in the Library of Congress as a work of fiction.)

Another show of confidence is the budget the series commands. It’s not as expensive as a scripted series, but for a reality show, the price is high. Never have I worked on a series with this level of funding, but the cost is justified. This needs to feel real.

New York City is the perfect—though expensive—backdrop. Trump’s actual offices are, however, less than telegenic. They are cramped, and a lot of the wood furniture is chipped or peeling. None of it is suitable to appear on camera. We need what grifters call the Big Store: a fake but authentic-looking establishment in which the con goes down. Trump Tower, at the time, is mostly condos and some offices situated in the high-rise. The mezzanine comprises vacant and overpriced retail space, all of it unfinished. Trump offers the space to the production—at a premium, naturally—and it is inside this location that we create our own “reception area” with doors leading to a fake, dimly lit, and appropriately ominous-feeling “boardroom.”

Next door, there’s the “suite” where the contestants will live, which is made to look like a trendy loft-style apartment they all share. The lodgings are made up of partitions surrounding tiny, hard bunks upon which the candidates sleep; the illusion comes from elegantly appointed common areas, where most of the interplay will go down.

During a tour of the set, I have my first encounter with Trump. I leave the suite and enter the gear room, the only vacant retail space that will remain unfinished. It is filled with equipment and crew members milling about. In walks a trio of men. In the middle is Trump, in a navy blue suit and scarlet tie. He’s surprisingly tall, and not just because of the hair. He is flanked by two even taller men. Bienstock makes introductions, and I watch as Trump shakes hands with everyone. I’d been told he would never do this, something about fearing unwanted germs. When it is my turn, I decide on the convivial two-hander and place my right hand into his and my left onto his wrist as we shake. His eye contact is limited but thorough. He is sizing me up. He looks like a wolf about to rip my throat out before turning away, offering me my first glimpse at the superstructure—his hairstyle—buttressed atop his head with what must be gallons of Aqua Net.

I watch as Trump saunters around the room, snatches up a fistful of M&Ms from the craft service table set aside for the crew, and shoves them into his mouth. Then he is gone, ushered away toward some important meeting he must attend, as if to say, to one and all present, This is unimportant .

Eventually, it’s time to roll cameras. When Trump is called to perform, we are filming the first scene of the first episode on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, and he is about to deliver the first task. Filming inside this beacon of capitalism and wealth gives the series the legitimacy it needs. A con artist would call staging the scam inside a legitimate institution “playing a man against the wall.”

From the balcony overlooking the famed trading room floor, Trump will set up the entire premise of the show on camera and engage in a little banter with the other participants. This includes introducing his advisers, George Ross, an older, grouchy attorney devoted to Trump’s legal affairs, and Carolyn Kepcher, a perpetual skeptic who runs his hospitality units and one of his golf clubs. (They might be called “the shills,” others in on the con who will act as Trump’s eyes and ears.)

The contestants are there, lined up and zeroed in on by camera operators getting reaction shots to whatever it is Trump says. Although they mostly just stand and wait, they patiently go along with the proceedings. They are not in on the con. They act as “the little blind mice,” who, in fraudster terms, convey a sense of authenticity by reacting to the goings-on, like lab rats caught in a maze.

Nothing is scripted—except for what Trump needs to say. Cue cards are present, but mostly it is Bienstock running up, coaching Trump, tossing out suggestions from the script he has written for the man. The feeling is that while doing a fair job of repeating the necessary words verbatim, Trump also appears to be inadvertently shouting at the contestants. His hands shuttle back and forth as if holding an invisible accordion, a gesture now famous in memes .

Each episode is filmed over three days. For the first episode, the two teams of contestants, divided by gender, take to the streets to carry out the initial task of trying to sell lemonade for the most money. The women pulverize the men.

Having won, the women are invited upstairs for a direct look at Trump’s very own apartment in Trump Tower, a reward designed specifically to introduce viewers to the gaudy but elevated world of Donald Trump at home. The men, who lost, go back to the loft to await their fate at the hands of Trump. He will be sending one of them home.

Inside the now-empty boardroom set, a meeting with the producers is called for the first briefing of Trump before the anticipated firing. With Trump are his cronies, Ross and Kepcher. Trump is “too busy,” so they have each observed both teams in the field and make an assessment of who prevailed and who fell behind.

Now, this is important. The Apprentice is a game show regulated by the Federal Communications Commission. In the 1950s, scandals arose when producers of quiz shows fed answers to likable, ratings-generating contestants while withholding those answers from unlikable but truly knowledgeable players. Any of us involved in The Apprentice swinging the outcome of prize money by telling Trump whom to fire is forbidden.

Considering this, Bienstock wisely chooses to record these off-camera briefings in case the FCC ever rolls up on us. Rather than blurt out who they think should get canned, the two producers of that week’s episode—each following one team—are coached to equitably share with Trump the virtues and deficiencies of each member of the losing team. This renders a balanced depiction of how and why they lost. There are obvious choices of whom to fire, but we want it to be something of a horse race, to sustain the drama and keep people watching.

Satisfied he has what he needs, Trump dismisses the prefiring discussion with the wave of a hand, claiming he has places to be, let’s get on with it, etc. We proceed to set up for what will be our first boardroom.

The producers retreat to the adjacent control room to watch the event unfold. Per the show’s format, the losing team is summoned in anticipation of one of its members being sent home. Leaving their luggage in the reception area, the men walk into the boardroom, where Trump is flanked by Ross and Kepcher, waiting for them solemnly. Trump just frowns from a gigantic red leather chair, his eyeline noticeably well above those sitting across from him.

The men proceed to verbally go after one another like gladiators jousting before the emperor. Trump takes the conversation into potentially dangerous terrain, asking one contestant, who is Jewish, whether he believes in “the genetic pool.” The contestant’s retort is swift and resolute: He tells Trump that he does, in fact, have the genes, “just like you got from your father, Fred Trump, and your mother, Mary Trump.” It pours out of him. It is dramatic. It is good reality TV.

The project manager must then choose two of the men to come back to the boardroom with him while everyone else is dismissed. An off-camera prefiring consultation with Trump takes place (and is recorded), right before the three men are brought back for the eventual firing. We film Trump, Ross, and Kepcher deliberating and giving the pluses and minuses of each, remarking on how risky it was for one of the contestants to stand up for himself the way that he did. Trump turns back and forth to each, listening. His cronies stick to their stories and give added deferential treatment toward Trump, with Ross strategically reminding him, “You’ve been taking risks your entire life.”

Trump summons the three men back into the boardroom for final judging. Trump grills one and says, “I will let you stay.” ( Wow! we think. A benevolent leader. ) When he turns his attention to the other man—the one he asked about genetics—it looks clear. He is doomed. So much so that the man stands when Trump tells him, “It seems unanimous.” Trump then offhandedly tells him to sit down, calling him “a wild card,” echoing Ross’ earlier observation of the boss, Trump.

After this comes an unwieldy moment when, at the behest of Bienstock, Trump fumbles through a given line. “We have an elevator,” he says to the remaining contestant, named David, “that goes up to the suite and an elevator that goes down”—he pauses to recall the exact wording—“to the street. And, David, I’m going to ask you to take the down elevator.”

The men react and awkwardly rise. It is an unsatisfactory conclusion, given all the preceding drama.

From the control room, we all watch as the three men depart the boardroom. A quick huddle takes place between the producers and the executive from NBC. We bolt from the control room out into the boardroom and confer with Trump, telling him we will need him to say something more direct to conclude the moment when David is let go.

“Well, I’d probably just fire him,” Trump says. “Why not just say that?” Bienstock asks. “Fine,” Trump says.

We return to the control room. The three men from the losing team are brought back into the boardroom, and Trump repeats his line about the elevator, then turns to David, who already knows his fate, and adds, “David, you’re fired.”

The line insertion happened in a perilously scripted way, but it is deemed satisfactory. “You’re fired” becomes the expression we will stick with. It works. Trump comes off as decisive and to the point.

Later, Trump will try to trademark “You’re fired.” He is not successful.

Trump’s appearances make up so little of our shooting schedule that whenever he shows up to film, it isn’t just the wild-card on-camera moments we both hope for and are terrified of that put everyone on edge. It is the way he, the star (and half owner) of the show, targets people on the crew with the gaze of a hungry lion.

While leering at a female camera assistant or assessing the physical attributes of a female contestant for whoever is listening, he orders a female camera operator off an elevator on which she is about to film him. “She’s too heavy,” I hear him say.

Another female camera operator, who happens to have blond hair and blue eyes, draws from Trump comparisons to his own Ivanka Trump. “There’s a beautiful woman behind that camera,” he says toward a line of 10 different operators set up in the foyer of Trump Tower one day. “That’s all I want to look at.”

Trump corners a female producer and asks her whom he should fire. She demurs, saying something about how one of the contestants blamed another for their team losing. Trump then raises his hands, cupping them to his chest: “You mean the one with the …?” He doesn’t know the contestant’s name. Trump eventually fires her.

(In response to detailed questions about this and other incidents reported in this article, Steven Cheung, a spokesman for the Trump 2024 campaign, wrote, “This is a completely fabricated and bullshit story that was already peddled in 2016.” He said that it is surfacing now because Democrats are “desperate.”)

Trump goes about knocking off every one of the contestants in the boardroom until only two remain. The finalists are Kwame Jackson, a Black broker from Goldman Sachs, and Bill Rancic, a white entrepreneur from Chicago who runs his own cigar business. Trump assigns them each a task devoted to one of his crown-jewel properties. Jackson will oversee a Jessica Simpson benefit concert at Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, while Rancic will oversee a celebrity golf tournament at Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff Manor, New York.

Viewers need to believe that whatever Trump touches turns to gold. These properties that bear his name are supposed to glitter and gleam. All thanks to him.

Reality is another matter altogether. The lights in the casino’s sign are out. Hong Kong investors actually own the place—Trump merely lends his name. The carpet stinks, and the surroundings for Simpson’s concert are ramshackle at best. We shoot around all that.

Both Rancic and Jackson do a round-robin recruitment of former contestants, and Jackson makes the fateful decision to team up with the notorious Omarosa, among others, to help him carry out his final challenge.

With her tenure on the series nearly over, Omarosa launches several simultaneous attacks on her fellow teammates in support of her “brother” Kwame. For the fame-seeking beauty queen, it is a do-or-die play for some much-coveted screen time. As on previous tasks, Ross and Kepcher will observe both events.

Over at Trump National Golf Club, where I am stationed, it is sunny and bright, set against luscious fall colors. I am driven up to the golf club from Manhattan to scout. With me are the other producers, all of whom are men. We meet Trump at one of the homes he keeps for himself on the grounds of the club.

“Melania doesn’t even know about this place,” he says out loud to us, snickering, implying that the home’s function is as his personal lair for his sexual exploits, all of which are unknown to his then-fiancée Melania Knauss.

We are taken around the rest of the club’s property and told what to feature on camera and what to stay away from. The clubhouse is a particularly necessary inclusion, and it is inside these luxurious confines where I have the privilege of meeting the architect. Finding myself alone with him, I make a point of commending him for what I feel is a remarkable building. The place is genuinely spectacular. He thanks me.

“It’s bittersweet,” he tells me. “I’m very proud of this place, but …” He hesitates. “I wasn’t paid what was promised,” he says. I just listen. “Trump pays half upfront,” he says, “but he’ll stiff you for the rest once the project is completed.”

“He stiffed you?”

“If I tried to sue, the legal bills would be more than what I was owed. He knew that. He basically said Take what I’m offering ,” and I see how heavy this is for the man, all these years later. “So, we sent the invoice. He didn’t even pay that,” he says. None of this will be in the show. Not Trump’s suggested infidelities, nor his aversion toward paying those who work for him.

When the tasks are over, we are back in the boardroom, having our conference with Trump about how the two finalists compare—a conversation that I know to be recorded. We huddle around him and set up the last moments of the candidates, Jackson and Rancic.

Trump will make his decision live on camera months later, so what we are about to film is the setup to that reveal. The race between Jackson and Rancic should seem close, and that’s how we’ll edit the footage. Since we don’t know who’ll be chosen, it must appear close, even if it’s not.

We lay out the virtues and deficiencies of each finalist to Trump in a fair and balanced way, but sensing the moment at hand, Kepcher sort of comes out of herself. She expresses how she observed Jackson at the casino overcoming more obstacles than Rancic, particularly with the way he managed the troublesome Omarosa. Jackson, Kepcher maintains, handled the calamity with grace.

“I think Kwame would be a great addition to the organization,” Kepcher says to Trump, who winces while his head bobs around in reaction to what he is hearing and clearly resisting.

“Why didn’t he just fire her?” Trump asks, referring to Omarosa. It’s a reasonable question. Given that this the first time we’ve ever been in this situation, none of this is something we expected.

“That’s not his job,” Bienstock says to Trump. “That’s yours.” Trump’s head continues to bob.

“I don’t think he knew he had the ability to do that,” Kepcher says. Trump winces again.

“Yeah,” he says to no one in particular, “but, I mean, would America buy a n— winning?”

Kepcher’s pale skin goes bright red. I turn my gaze toward Trump. He continues to wince. He is serious, and he is adamant about not hiring Jackson.

Bienstock does a half cough, half laugh, and swiftly changes the topic or throws to Ross for his assessment. What happens next I don’t entirely recall. I am still processing what I have just heard. We all are. Only Bienstock knows well enough to keep the train moving. None of us thinks to walk out the door and never return. I still wish I had. (Bienstock and Kepcher didn’t respond to requests for comment.)

Afterward, we film the final meeting in the boardroom, where Jackson and Rancic are scrutinized by Trump, who, we already know, favors Rancic. Then we wrap production, pack up, and head home. There is no discussion about what Trump said in the boardroom, about how the damning evidence was caught on tape. Nothing happens.

We go home and face the next phase of our assignment, the editing. In stitching the footage together, the swindle we are now involved in ascends to new levels.

Editing in a reality TV show is what script writing is to a narrative series. A lot of effort goes into the storytelling because, basically, in every single unscripted series—whether it’s a daytime talk show, an adventure documentary, or a shiny floor dance-off—there are three versions: There’s what happens, there’s what gets filmed, and there’s what gets cut down into 43 minutes squeezed between commercial breaks. Especially for a competition series, it’s important that the third version represent the first as much as possible. A defeated contestant could show up in the press and cry foul if they’re misrepresented. Best to let people fail of their own accord. That said, we look after our prized possessions in how we edit the series, and some people fare better than others.

We attend to our thesis that only the best and brightest deserve a job working for Donald Trump. Luckily, the winner, Bill Rancic, and his rival, Kwame Jackson, come off as capable and confident throughout the season. If for some reason they had not, we would have conveniently left their shortcomings on the cutting room floor. In actuality, both men did deserve to win.

Without a doubt, the hardest decisions we faced in postproduction were how to edit together sequences involving Trump. We needed him to sound sharp, dignified, and clear on what he was looking for and not as if he was yelling at people. You see him today: When he reads from a teleprompter, he comes off as loud and stoic. Go to one of his rallies and he’s the off-the-cuff rambler rousing his followers into a frenzy. While filming, he struggled to convey even the most basic items. But as he became more comfortable with filming, Trump made raucous comments he found funny or amusing—some of them misogynistic as well as racist. We cut those comments. Go to one of his rallies today and you can hear many of them.

If you listen carefully, especially to that first episode, you will notice clearly altered dialogue from Trump in both the task delivery and the boardroom. Trump was overwhelmed with remembering the contestants’ names, the way they would ride the elevator back upstairs or down to the street, the mechanics of what he needed to convey. Bienstock instigated additional dialogue recording that came late in the edit phase. We set Trump up in the soundproof boardroom set and fed him lines he would read into a microphone with Bienstock on the phone, directing from L.A. And suddenly Trump knows the names of every one of the contestants and says them while the camera cuts to each of their faces. Wow , you think, how does he remember everyone’s name? While on location, he could barely put a sentence together regarding how a task would work. Listen now, and he speaks directly to what needs to happen while the camera conveniently cuts away to the contestants, who are listening and nodding. He sounds articulate and concise through some editing sleight of hand.

Then comes the note from NBC about the fact that after Trump delivers the task assignment to the contestants, he disappears from the episode after the first act and doesn’t show up again until the next-to-last. That’s too long for the (high-priced) star of the show to be absent.

There is a convenient solution. At the top of the second act, right after the task has been assigned but right before the teams embark on their assignment, we insert a sequence with Trump, seated inside his gilded apartment, dispensing a carefully crafted bit of wisdom. He speaks to whatever the theme of each episode is—why someone gets fired or what would lead to a win. The net effect is not only that Trump appears once more in each episode but that he also now seems prophetic in how he just knows the way things will go right or wrong with each individual task. He comes off as all-seeing and all-knowing. We are led to believe that Donald Trump is a natural-born leader.

Through the editorial nudge we provide him, Trump prevails. So much so that NBC asks for more time in the boardroom to appear at the end of all the remaining episodes. (NBC declined to comment for this article.)

When it comes to the long con, the cherry on top is the prologue to the premiere. It’s a five-minute-long soliloquy delivered by Trump at the beginning of the first episode, the one titled “Meet the Billionaire.” Over a rousing score, it features Trump pulling out all the stops, calling New York “ my city” and confessing to crawling out from under “billions of dollars in debt.” There’s Trump in the back of limousines. Trump arriving before throngs of cheering crowds outside Trump Tower. Trump in his very own helicopter as it banks over midtown—the same helicopter with the Trump logo that, just like the airplane, is actually for sale to the highest bidder. The truth is, almost nothing was how we made it seem.

So, we scammed. We swindled. Nobody heard the racist and misogynistic comments or saw the alleged cheating, the bluffing, or his hair taking off in the wind. Those tapes, I’ve come to believe, will never be found.

No one lost their retirement fund or fell on hard times from watching The Apprentice . But Trump rose in stature to the point where he could finally eye a run for the White House, something he had intended to do all the way back in 1998. Along the way, he could now feed his appetite for defrauding the public with various shady practices.

In 2005 thousands of students enrolled in what was called Trump University, hoping to gain insight from the Donald and his “handpicked” professors. Each paid as much as $35,000 to listen to some huckster trade on Trump’s name. In a sworn affidavit, salesman Ronald Schnackenberg testified that Trump University was “fraudulent.” The scam swiftly went from online videoconferencing courses to live events held by high-pressure sales professionals whose only job was to persuade attendees to sign up for the course. The sales were for the course “tuition” and had nothing whatsoever to do with real estate investments. A class action suit was filed against Trump.

That same year, Trump was caught bragging to Access Hollywood co-host Billy Bush that he likes to grab married women “by the pussy,” adding, “When you’re a star, they let you do it.” He later tried to recruit porn actor Stormy Daniels for The Apprentice despite her profession and, according to Daniels, had sex with her right after his last son was born. (His alleged attempt to pay off Daniels is, of course, the subject of his recent trial.)

In October 2016—a month before the election—the Access Hollywood tapes were released and written off as “locker room banter.” Trump paid Daniels to keep silent about their alleged affair. He paid $25 million to settle the Trump University lawsuit and make it go away.

He went on to become the first elected president to possess neither public service nor military experience. And although he lost the popular vote, Trump beat out Hillary Clinton in the Electoral College, winning in the Rust Belt by just 80,000 votes.

Trump has been called the “reality TV president,” and not just because of The Apprentice . The Situation Room, where top advisers gathered, became a place for photo-ops, a bigger, better boardroom. Trump swaggered and cajoled, just as he had on the show. Whom would he listen to? Whom would he fire? Stay tuned. Trump even has his own spinoff, called the House of Representatives, where women hurl racist taunts and body-shame one another with impunity. The State of the Union is basically a cage fight. The demands of public office now include blowhard buffoonery.

I reached out to Apollo, the Vegas perceptions expert, to discuss all of this. He reminded me how if a person wants to manipulate the signal, they simply turn up the noise. “In a world that is so uncertain,” he said, “a confidence man comes along and fills in the blanks. The more confident they are, the more we’re inclined to go along with what they suggest.”

A reality TV show gave rise to an avaricious hustler, and a deal was made: Subvert the facts, look past the deficiencies, deceive where necessary, and prevail in the name of television ratings and good, clean fun.

Trump is making another run at the White House and is leading in certain polls. People I know enthusiastically support him and expect he’ll return to office. It’s not just hats, sneakers, a fragrance, or Bibles. Donald Trump is selling his vision of the world, and people are buying it.

Knowing all they know, how could these people still think he’s capable of being president of the United States?

Perhaps they watched our show and were conned by the pig in the poke.

Stanford's Rachel Heck pens first-person essay to explain why she won't go pro

T his spring, after Rachel Heck completes her senior year at Stanford, she’ll put her golf clubs away and take on an internship in private equity. She’ll also be pinned as a Lieutenant of the United States Air Force. Heck explained her reasons for not turning professional in a first-person essay on nolayingup.com.

“I was strongly considering attributing my decision to my injuries,” wrote Heck, who has grappled with several in recent years. “It is true that even if I wanted to, I do not know if my body would hold up on tour. But frankly, after a couple of years of painful deliberation, I have come to realize that I do not want to play professional golf.

"I do not want a life on the road and in the public eye. I no longer dream of the U.S. Open trophies and the Hall of Fame. And I realize now that these dreams were never what my dad intended when he first put a club in my hand.”

https://twitter.com/rachelheck2020/status/1772274878592266370

Heck qualified for the U.S. Women’s Open at age 15 and, as a hotshot junior, suffered a back injury that left her sidelined from the game. Without golf, she felt lost, and during a period of darkness, decided that she wanted to pursue the Air Force ROTC to find something more. Heck’s parents told her she was crazy, but she persisted.

As a freshman at Stanford, with dreams of playing on the LPGA and serving in the Air Force in full throttle , Heck set an NCAA scoring record (69.72) en route to sweeping the postseason.

Heck won six times in nine starts in 2021, including her last five events. She became the third player in NCAA history to sweep the postseason, winning the Pac-12 Championship, NCAA regionals and nationals. She posted 15 of 25 rounds in the 60s, including 12 consecutive.

But, as her college career progressed, more injuries followed. While Heck intends to pass on the professional life, she does plan to continue to play amateur golf, following a similar path set by Wake Forest grad Emilia Migliaccio.

“I have grappled with anger, hope, depression, joy, and everything in between,” Heck wrote, “but amid each trial in which I so desperately sought the clarity of a deeper meaning, God always showed me the next step. Right now, the next step is not professional golf.”

This article originally appeared on Golfweek: Stanford's Rachel Heck pens first-person essay to explain why she won't go pro

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Love — My First Love Experience: A Personal Narrative

My First Love Experience: a Personal Narrative

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Why You Won’t Find Me Wearing “Wifey” Merch After My Wedding

By Hannah Coates

Nothing is certain in life, besides death, taxes, and the fact you will never find me wearing “wifey” merch before or after my forthcoming wedding. As a soon-to-be-bride, the thought of wearing any kind of relationship-inspired attire brings me out in hives. While other recently-engaged women seem to throw themselves headfirst into their newfound bride-to-be identity, something about the whole thing has left me feeling nauseous.

So, you can imagine my reaction when I saw newlywed Millie Bobby Brown’s honeymoon photos on Instagram . Having recently tied the knot with Jake Bongiovi (son of Jon Bon Jovi) at the tender age of 20, Brown showcased some new “wifey”-emblazoned denim shorts and a white cap (worn backwards), with the heave-inducing slogan “WIFE OF THE PARTY” across the front.

Now, I’m not here to shatter anyone’s newlywed bliss—and the fact that these two wealthy young celebs appear to be spending their honeymoon at Universal Studios is another article entirely—but, why ? Why is being married an identity that a woman (not least one who is an accomplished actress) needs to shout about? I don’t see her groom wearing a “hubby” tee, and likewise I don’t see brands churning out novelty bags, shoes, or swimwear to men making the trip down the aisle.

Of course, it’s only women (although many now choose not to) who change their name after getting married, a tradition that dates back to the 15th century—back when a woman was considered her new husband’s legal property. Which says it all, really. The simple fact is that women are still being sold this trad wife-adjacent dream: secure the man, get the ring, buy the big white dress and everything will be perfect. Your kitchen will be clean and you will smile all the time!

The matching “bride tribe” pajamas (silky, white and with marabou feather trim, you know the ones), and that miserable Etsy font are all over Instagram—we see the bridal trappings on those we follow and then seek to emulate it all, perhaps viewing it as some form of self-improvement. It works well for the wedding industry, which sells us—at extortionate prices—everything we “need” for the Perfect Big Day.

And for the most part, us humans tend to follow the herd. If you’ve found yourself attending plastic penis-heavy hen dos that you absolutely never wanted to be a part of, then it’s because you feel like you’re supposed to, right?

Despite having been resolute about not doing the whole “bride thing,” I confess to finding myself getting swept away in a sea of £65 dress appointments, floral arrangements, and veils. Perhaps it’s because my algorithm is firing on all cylinders and delivering me the bridal content I never asked for—or maybe it’s just the societal pressure I’ve absorbed by osmosis, but in some ways I’ve found it hard not to become the bride the world wants me to be. And after the Bride, comes the Wifey. Luckily (shudder) I’ve since snapped out of it.

It’s an unpopular opinion—and perhaps I shouldn’t admit it—but I still think many people regard getting married as the ultimate marker of success for a woman. But what about the amazing careers we now have? Or the vote we won? Or the myriad other things that make us women, and people, in the world? While finding love—and getting married—is a wonderful thing, should it really define us?

Now, I don’t blame a 20-year-old for celebrating her newfound relationship status—and rightly having fun with it—but what I do hope is that her millions of young female followers choose to forge their own paths, and place importance on things besides their relationship status. After all, you are much more than the person you marry (if you choose to marry one), and you should treat yourself as such.

As for me, if you do find me sporting a “bride” or “wife” logo anywhere about my person, know that I’ve either been forced into it, or I’m channeling Madonna and Guy Richie from the Noughties. Wifey for lifey? Not on my watch.

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First Person: A Life in the Library

Arisleny Benitez-Linarez, the author, leads a creative writing program for her peers at High Bridge Library in her role as a Teen Civics Ambassador

The children's room at High Bridge Library

I guess you never know the worth of something until it's taken away. That’s exactly how I felt when I moved to the United States, away from all the freedom and fresh air that I had known in the Dominican Republic. I came here when I was in elementary school, and my mom, having heard of all the dangers of big cities, never let me go out anywhere alone. She worked the majority of the time, which meant I was stuck at home. Going back and forth from school to home, home to school, was really nauseating to a kid used to infinite freedom. This was until I was introduced to a tiny peculiar place atop a hill: the High Bridge Library . 

As a shy kid, I found the staff kind and welcoming. I would come and hang out in the library: finishing all of my homework before I got home, playing under the tree in the children’s room, reading, writing, and attending programs. The library was calming, and it broke the never-ending cycle of school and home. 

Then I joined the library’s afterschool program which made me incredibly happy. In the program, I was safe to roam and make friends which contributed to my growth as I became my chaotic and loud self. I would do homework and then talk and chatter with my friends until it got late and we had to go home. I felt so carefree. 

The Teen Center at High Bridge Library

When I first got to high school I was relatively calm. I did well in school, and I never needed to study very much. Even at this time the library stayed close to my heart. It remained a place I could unwind and kick back, and the memories I had made there consoled me in all sorts of different ways. I enjoyed staying in the Teen Center . The environment was perfect for both study days and chill days with decorations made by other teens like me. Their art made me smile as I imagined people painting and crafting while chatting and relaxing. However, the library was not only there for me during the calm and relaxing times but during the burnouts as well.

I’m now in my junior year of high school. I bet you probably flinched at that. Junior year is infamous for being the hardest year with AP classes, the SAT, and the stress of college looming over you. It has been extremely stressful for me. Before this, I’d never known the stress of not understanding something and falling behind. I’m not a perfect student, but I’ve never fallen behind in class before. It was an experience that left me constantly drained, and I wondered if I was even prepared to go to college. What if I got there and fell behind again? What if I worked so hard just to fail at the year it matters most? 

I sat in the library with my AP Chemistry textbook and decided to take a break. I wasn’t being very productive so I took a look around to calm me down. I saw the tree in the children’s room where I had played as a child. I saw the chapter books with friendly heroes that I used to read. I saw the little chairs at small tables and wondered how I ever used to run around and do my homework here. I saw the computers where I used to play  Fireboy and Watergirl every day after school. Then I shifted to the teen room, and I saw the colorful art on the windows and the shelves. I looked back at the College and Career Pathways corner and reminded myself that so many other students have probably felt upset, stressed, and overwhelmed by their future. 

Now as a Teen Civics Ambassador at High Bridge Library, I am able to reflect on practically growing up with this library. It’s adapted to me and I to it. It’s raised me, it’s helped me be the person I am, and that’s why I think libraries are so important. 

Join Arisleny in saying #NoCutsToLibraries at nypl.org/speakout