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The essential importance of trust: how to build it or restore it.

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“To earn trust, money and power aren’t enough; you have to show some concern for others. You can’t buy trust in the supermarket." – His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama Photographer: Adam Berry/Bloomberg News

There are just a few elemental forces that hold our world together. The one that’s the glue of society is called trust. Its presence cements relationships by allowing people to live and work together, feel safe and belong to a group. Trust in a leader allows organizations and communities to flourish, while the absence of trust can cause fragmentation, conflict and even war. That’s why we need to trust our leaders, our family members, our friends and our co-workers, albeit in different ways.

Trust is hard to define, but we do know when it’s lost. When that happens, we withdraw our energy and level of engagement. We go on an internal strike, not wanting to be sympathetic to the person who we feel has hurt us or treated us wrongly. We may not show it outwardly, but we are less likely to tell the formerly trusted person that we are upset, to share what is important to us or to follow through on commitments. As a result, we pull back from that person and no longer feel part of their world. This loss of trust can be obvious or somewhat hidden — especially if we pretend to be present but inwardly disengage. And those who have done something to lose our trust may not even know it.

On the positive side, trust makes people feel eager to be part of a relationship or group, with a shared purpose and a willingness to depend on each other. When trust is intact, we will willingly contribute what is needed, not just by offering our presence, but also by sharing our dedication, talent, energy and honest thoughts on how the relationship or group is working.

One dictionary definition of trust is “feeling safe when vulnerable.” When we depend on a leader, family member or friend, we can feel vulnerable, and we need trust to manage the anxiety of this feeling. When trust is present, things go well; but when trust is lost, the relationship is at risk.

If the level of trust is low in a relationship or organization, people limit their involvement and what they are willing to do or share. They might think to themselves, “This is all you deserve,” or, “This is as all I am willing to give.” In contrast, when the trust level is high, people reward it by giving more. But, more often than not, people feel that their distrust is not safe to share. So a leader or loved one may be slow to discover that they have lost a person’s trust.

The hiddenness and personal nature of trust can be a problem for relationships, teams or organizations. How can you fix something that is not expressed or shared? How do you even know that trust is lost? Paradoxically, there must be at least a little trust in order to discuss its lack and make attempts to rebuild it, while if the loss of trust remains unaddressed, the relationship will grow more and more distant.

Trust is often related to leadership and power, but it is not a given. To be effective, a leader must earn the trust of his or her constituents to ensure their participation and allegiance. Indeed, any successful relationship — whether it’s leader to follower, consultant or coach to client or the relationship between spouses, siblings and friends — relies on a level of trust that must be earned. Yet even trust that is earned can be quickly lost and cannot be quickly regained. If members of a team or relationship lose trust in each other, it takes a great deal of work to restore it. People are not quick to reinvest in a relationship where trust has been broken. They generally move on.

Six Building Blocks of Trust

Since trust is so important in both working and personal relationships, how can we monitor it, build upon it and heal it when it becomes frayed? It is useful to view trust as a natural response to certain qualities in a person, group or organization, and the absence of these qualities will diminish the level of trust. These qualities are:

Reliability and Dependability: A person or group that is true to their word and fulfills their commitments encourages trust.
Transparency: People are anxious about unknowns and tend to assume the worst when they’re not informed about a new development. When management meets in secret or does not share important information, team members can easily become distrustful. On the other hand, when people share their thoughts, feelings and considerations, or when an organization, usually through its leader, tells its members what is going on, everyone knows where they stand and trust can flourish.
Competency: This is another element that is central to building trust. If you think a person, leader or organization is not capable of doing what they are supposed to do, you cannot trust them. Therefore, even when a person has a good heart or good intentions and we like them personally, they cannot win our trust if they’re not capable of doing what they promise.
Sincerity, Authenticity and Congruency: People can often sense when someone says something that is not aligned with what they are feeling inside. When a leader is insincere or inauthentic, people don’t believe what he or she is saying. A leader who says one thing but who acts differently is not congruent. For example, it is hard to believe someone who says they want to listen but does not give you a chance to speak, or someone who says she is concerned about people yet seems to have a plan to lay people off. People may think they can hide their true feelings or contradictions, but others can quickly detect a lack of sincerity or congruency. That’s when trust is eroded.
Fairness: Some people act as if the needs and desires of others are not important, or they don’t truly listen to or respect both sides. Trust cannot grow in a relationship where it’s all about one person or in a workplace where all the energy is focused on the company or leader.
Openness and Vulnerability : If a person never says they are wrong and apologizes or acknowledges their mistakes, other people do not feel comfortable disagreeing with them or sharing their own thoughts. A leader who is “never wrong” never gets the truth from others. Yet a timely apology or admission of being wrong is a powerful weapon to build or rebuild trust.

All of these qualities contribute to the degree of trust people have for each other. If you are feeling a shift of trust in a relationship, it is helpful to assess the presence or absence of each of these six qualities. This allows you to discover what is lacking in the relationship and find ways to restore trust. To build or rebuild trust, a leader must open the conversation about the degree to which each of the six qualities are present and be open to hearing what others feel, observe and need. Of course, the leader will need some trust in the others in order to begin this process.

Similarly, it takes courage in a family or personal relationship to bring up loss of trust and to request that another person modify their behavior. This may lead to learning that you need to look at your own behavior too. Trust is a two-way street, built by the behavior of each person in the relationship.

Restoring Trust That’s Been Lost or Broken

Trust is often lost when we feel hurt by another’s action and believe that this action (or inaction) was intentional. But by sharing our feelings with the person who hurt us, we might begin to see things differently and realize that their intention was not what we imagined. This may repair the breach quickly as misunderstandings are unraveled and communication deepens. It may be difficult to initiate such a conversation; however, given the tendency to withdraw when we feel hurt. Still, a person who is able to do this will find that they are less frequently hurt.

In the same way, if we feel that we have done something to lose the trust of another, we can seek the other out and inquire about what has happened. True, this can feel awkward and risky — especially if one is a leader, parent or person of authority — and this is not something that comes naturally. But this willingness to be vulnerable can ultimately lead to greater trust because the other person feels that their own vulnerability and needs are being respected.

The dynamics of trust are delicate in important relationships, and the loss of trust can be costly — not only psychologically, but also financially and in terms or work and livelihood. What’s helpful to remember is that trust is an ongoing exchange between people and is not static. Trust can be earned. It can be lost. And it can be regained.

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The Importance of Trust in Society

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Published: Mar 18, 2021

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How to write effective essays on trust learn with us.

September 4, 2020

The entire human civilization is based on trust. We trust our loved ones, we trust our teachers, we trust our community and so on.

A trust essay highlights the importance of this powerful value. It tells you what is trust and how the absence of trust affects people individually and even the community at large. Here are some steps that you can follow to write a great essay on trust:

Trust Essay – Define The Concept

The first step when you start writing essays on trust is to define the word trust. Essentially, it is the faith that you have in another person. But trust is also a two way street. It is not just about you trusting someone but also about being that person that someone else can put their trust in.

Start by writing a short paragraph on trust with statements like “In the most basic form, trust is the confidence that you have in someone else.” You can then work in the subject of what makes a person trust another person.

Trust Essay Sample

Leadership and Trust Leadership refers to the power and ability of an individual to lead others. Leadership is often spoken about in terms of nobility, charisma, and the ability to inspire and mobilize others, each of which are positive qualities that exemplify leaders and vice versa. What goes ignored is that leaders can have those characteristics and look to use them for bad or evil. Leaders are not only at the heads of corporate organizations, community groups and churches; they are also the heads of manipulative and mind-altering cults and command their power and ability to influence the behavior of others. Leadership styles vary from person to person, as well as the motives for harnessing that leadership. From business executives to cult leaders, leadership manifests in ways that serve the greater good, however, that “greater good” depends on the motives, desires and personality of the leader. One iconic leader was Nelson Mandela, the face of the nonviolent uprising against the South African government and its racist policies and function. He was more than a leader, but a visionary capable of transformational leadership in a movement against the government that contributed to the lost lives and livelihoods of many, including himself. Mandela’s call to action for the South African people was reinforced and believed by his inimitable leadership. Mandela saw that the way that the government was running the nation through apartheid was, at the least, unsustainable and at the most, detrimental to society. Imprisoned for more than a quarter century On Robben Island along with several other activists, Mandela stood by his convictions and worked strategically to oppose and transform South Africa from the inside, finding that “the political prison of apartheid” (Schoemaker & Krupp, 2014) would have been far worse than serving out his prison sentence. He stood up to prisoners and guards, positioning himself as a man of nobility and dignity even though it came at the expense of his freedom and the realities of harsh prison life. As a leader, he researched other leaders and where they went wrong and where they went right. Observing the teachings of other nations and leaders, he hoped to inspire change by getting the South African government to deviate from a dangerous path that caused the decline of the country of Zimbabwe following a tumultuous and brutal period of dictatorship by Robert Mugabe. Mandela’s nobility shone through in wanting to nonviolently resist oppressors, instead surprising “with restraints and generosity.” Mandela called for peace when people wanted retribution and revenge, even if it was rightfully so. After being elected the first black president of South Africa, Mandela continued to inspire with his charisma and language, using inclusive pronouns like “we” and “our” to bridge gaps instead of widen them, calling on the people to act as a united front to bring about a new world. Nelson Mandela was a strategic leader who was able to harness his emotion and motivate people strongly enough to have continual support. On the contrary, leaders out to do what most perceive as harm have this drive as well—the key difference is in their motives and what they set out to achieve. For those who do not fall under the most understood category of leader, like cult leaders, how the world looks upon them is quite different. Cult leaders are those who often portray themselves as the next messiah, but to others not under their spell of charisma and manipulation, look like manipulators, deceivers and sociopaths. However, the charisma that allowed people like Charles Manson to manipulate and convince his “family” to commit heinous murders unlike the Hollywood scene had seen is not only within him. Back in the 1960s, Charles Manson recruited a group of devote followers he called “The Family,” who shared his love for hallucinogenic drugs and an unconventional lifestyle led off the grid. The key to Manson’s power and control was his ability to position himself and the members of his family as a superior elite that had to do whatever it took to protect themselves and the world. There was danger in his charisma, which allowed his notoriously warped and outrageous ideals to result in the brutal murders of actress Sharon Tate, who was eight months pregnant at the time, Leno and Rosemary LaBianca, Steven Parent and Abigail Folger, heiress to the Folger Coffee fortune. Manson and his followers had a strong sense of moral values that, in their minds, made them better than the untouchable Hollywood elite. He used his own painful, shattered past to draw in people who had been stripped of their identity—if they ever had one—and fulfilled their needs, creating a dangerous connection between their self-esteem and worth and his provisions. Manson sought out people like him who had no sense of stability or identity; he was born without a name to a young, fleeting mother raised in a strictly religious household whose baby’s father abandoned her and their son. While he never directly carried out any of the murders. In prison, Manson studied religion as a tool of control and as he fluctuated between imprisonment and freedom, he harnessed the art of manipulation through advice for other criminals and books like How to Win Friends and Influence People (Romano, 2017). Manson, now deceased, has gone down in history as a symbol of the rebellious hippie counterculture that culminated in gleeful carnage, spurred by a strong distaste for the wealthy, racism and prejudice, and shared lifelong social rejection. As a leader, he is in no way comparable to Nelson Mandela or those like him, but his reign is a painful reminder of cult leadership and pseudo-transformational leadership that captivates and motivates people just as much as nobility does. Leadership has to be understood in a context that allows both good and evil to prosper. History demonstrates that there are those who are looking for positive change like Nelson Mandela, as well as those who want the ultimate revenge and unending, unquestionable power like Charles Manson. To understand both is to understand where and how leadership can go right and wrong, although the concept itself is broad and complex in definition and application.

The Role Of Trust In Relationships

Essays about trust are almost impossible to write without some reference to relationships. The bottom line is that every relationship that you have from neighbours, friends, relatives to your spouse is based on trust.

In fact, you can write an entire essay on trust in a relationship. Why it is important and how breaking someone’s trust is the hardest thing to recover from.

When we trust someone, we also expect that they reciprocate the same, while maintaining our trust and not hide anything from us. This love, faith, and trust can be a subject of discussion in your essay with respect to couples and relationships. You can also break down your trust essays into several layers such as the absence of trust leading to suspicion. And suspicion leading to the breach of trust by snooping or prying into the private mails and texts of the other person.

Betrayal and trust are vital turning points in any relationship. You can use other examples of breach of trust like cheating on a partner to show the effect that it has on love and faith between partners. It is also a great topic to use to define trust itself.

How Trust Affects The Community At Large

We vote for someone because we trust that they are good enough to run the country. A group of people in a corporate follow their team leader’s instruction because they trust that the latter is leading them to success. When parents leave their kids with a baby sitter, it is all about trust.

The point is that without trust, there would be no community. This is a great subject for your trust definition essay. It also gives you a new perspective and approach that is different from the relationship angle. There are enough instances of breach of trust within a community to include in your essays on trust. This will help you explore the definition of trust better.

The community angle gives you a lot more content for trust essay writing. You can talk about recent world events or even take references from history to show how trust plays a massive role in the community. There and endless examples of betrayal in history that have uprooted thriving kingdoms.

It is easier to write a definition essay on trust using these concepts because you can highlight both the angles. First, why trust is important in a society and why being a trustworthy individual is equally important.

Essays On Trust – Dealing With Them The Right Way

While writing an essay about trust, try to give relatable examples from real-life that establish trust between two people. This is the easiest way to bring out the definition of trust in its true essence.

If you need any writing assistance for your college essay, get in touch with us today. You can also go through a trust essay example to help you understand how to approach this subject with more depth and variety.

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Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

What’s the Truth about Trust?

Trust permeates every part of our lives. We trust cars to stop when the light turns red; we trust grocers to provide produce that is safe to eat; we trust our spouses to pick up the kids when they say they will. Trust is the shortcut that helps us function in a complex modern society.

But trust the wrong person and you may be taken for a ride. So how can we both trust when it’s beneficial to do so, yet remain vigilant toward those who might betray us? And why trust at all if we could get burned?

In his new book, The Truth About Trust , David DeSteno helps answer those questions and more. DeSteno, a psychologist at Northeastern University, explains that while trust is the social glue that allows us to do more together than we could ever do alone, trustworthiness is a moving target, dependent on our moods, circumstances, and competing needs. We make daily choices—often subconscious—about whether or not to act in a trustworthy manner.

According to DeSteno, we tend to trust those who demonstrate both integrity and competence. But, because we often need to determine this on a moment’s notice, we’ve developed shortcuts for deciding when to trust. The vagus nerve—a nerve that runs through our central nervous system connecting our brains to several vital organs—responds below our conscious awareness to cues in our environment and will either calm our heart to produce more trusting behavior or excite our heart to increase distrust. Often these “gut responses” are fairly accurate, allowing us to make quick decisions regarding trust.

But these gut feelings are subject to manipulation, too. For example, DeSteno has found that inducing people to feel gratitude prior to having them play an economics game increased their level of trust and cooperation in the game, even toward people they’d never met. In addition, participants who had to complete a highly stressful public speaking task prior to playing the game increased their rate of cooperation by about 50 percent. Understanding influences like these, argues DeSteno, is important for managing trust in our lives.

There are also many misunderstandings about how trust works, and DeSteno tries to set the record straight. Contrary to popular belief, people cannot look at someone’s face and determine if they are lying or not, he writes. In addition, while many of us want to think of trustworthiness as a fixed state—with people and institutions being “trustworthy” or not—research has found that our trustworthiness is malleable, dependent on our mood state and the circumstances that surround us.

According to DeSteno, whether or not we act with integrity involves a kind of calculus inside of our heads, where “decisions to be trustworthy derive from conscious and non-conscious calculations weighing the trade-offs of short-term and long-term gains.”

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It’s a bit like the fable of the ant and the grasshopper, he writes, where the hard-working ant who plans for a rainy day wins out over the lazy grasshopper. While we may choose the untrustworthy route if we think we can get away with it or little harm will be done, being trustworthy often produces benefits in the long run.

Perhaps this is why trust plays such an important role in so many social interactions. Research shows that children learn better when they have a teacher that is competent and whom they can trust to give them the right information and support them along the way. Even very young preschoolers have been shown to be able to assess the reliability of a teacher and will seek the one they think they can trust over the one they are more familiar with. Those kids are learning a skill they’ll need in the “real” world: trust is necessary in business transactions—and so is the ability to detect a cheater.

This gets at one of the main lessons of DeSteno’s book: We all want to know how best to determine when it’s good to trust and when we need to be more diligent—but, unfortunately, a person’s trustworthiness can’t be reliably predicted from past actions. A reputation built on trust is not a perfect predictor of future trustworthy behavior, writes DeSteno, though it can act as an imperfect guide.

A better predictor is our own subconscious evaluations. According to DeSteno’s research, people can pick out who is less trustworthy by certain “tells” for untrustworthiness—folding arms across one’s chest, leaning back, touching one’s face, or touching one’s hands. In addition, he has found that people who believe they hold more power in a situation—i.e. have more economic wealth—will feel less in need of others’ trust and will act less trustworthy. In one intriguing experiment, researchers observed a busy city intersection and found that cars typically belonging to the wealthy class—like BMW’s—were 50 percent less likely to wait for a pedestrian to cross the road before going through the intersection than cars typically belonging to the less wealthy.

Clues to trustworthiness like these are not useful online, however, which makes the online world particularly difficult for negotiating trust. Also, they are not so helpful for evaluating whether or not you can trust yourself to resist future temptations, such as foregoing dessert when you’ve pledged to diet or resisting an extramarital affair. DeSteno argues that the ability to trust oneself to act with integrity is impacted by many of the same forces that shape trust in others, and can be waylaid by our inability to predict how we will feel in the future and by our tendency to rationalize behavior from the past.

All in all, DeSteno’s book is a bit depressing. His main argument seems to be that trust is fraught with potential minefields, and that we can’t rely on ourselves to know when it’s best to trust and when it’s not.

However, armed with more knowledge, we can at least try to understand our biases and make better choices when faced with trust issues. And, as DeSteno writes, the default option should be to trust and to be trustworthy. Research has found that, like the ant in the fable, we are more likely to be rewarded than not in the long run if we do so.

About the Author

Jill Suttie

Jill Suttie, Psy.D. , is Greater Good ’s former book review editor and now serves as a staff writer and contributing editor for the magazine. She received her doctorate of psychology from the University of San Francisco in 1998 and was a psychologist in private practice before coming to Greater Good .

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Why Trust Matters in Your Relationship and How to Build It

The importance of comfort, security, and loyalty can't be overstated

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Ivy Kwong, LMFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, love and intimacy, trauma and codependency, and AAPI mental health.

Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight

Are You in a Healthy Relationship? Take the Quiz

Why trust matters, impact of lack of trust, how do you deepen trust in a relationship, how to rebuild trust.

There are few things as comforting as having a strong sense of trust in your relationship, but it takes time and intentionality to develop.

To have trust in a relationship means that you feel a sense of security and loyalty with your partner. According to Sabrina Romanoff , PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, it's the basis of a solid relationship.

“To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself,” says Romanoff.

At a Glance

Trust is an important pillar in relationships, and the lack of it can lead to negativity, conflict , insecurity, depression, and anxiety. If your relationship is lacking trust, it’s important to work with your partner to build it, so that you can let your guard down and be vulnerable with each other.

If you are having difficulties resolving your trust issues with your partner, you can seek help from a therapist or a couples counselor .

If you've got questions about your relationship, our fast and free quiz can help you better understand if your partnership is rock solid or if it could use some work.

This healthy relationship quiz was medically reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD.

Trust is a vital component in happy and successful relationships. Here's how it can impact your relationship for the better.

Promotes Positivity

Trust is important in relationships because it allows you to be more open and giving. If you trust your partner, you are more likely to be forgiving of their shortcomings or behaviors that irritate you because overall you believe in them and know they have your back.

Reduces Conflict

Trust also allows you to navigate conflict . When you trust your partner, you are more willing to overlook problems or commit to finding solutions to issues because you feel allied in areas that mean the most to you.

Even if your partner does something disappointing, you are more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt and see the good in them if you trust them.

Increases Closeness

Establishing trust creates a strong bond and foundation to build on. Knowing you can trust your partner promotes increased closeness and safety. When you trust one another, you feel safe knowing that your partner has your back and can be relied upon for comfort, care, and support.

Press Play for Advice On Navigating Conflict

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring Purple Heart recipient Craig Rossi and Fred, shares why it's OK to give second chances. Click below to listen now.

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Trust takes time to build, and if your partner consistently fails to follow through on promises or commitments, you will begin to have low expectations of them.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

When your partner’s actions are not aligned with their words, you will begin to learn that they are not trustworthy. Repeated violations or consistent hurtful behaviors erode trust.

Lack of trust can create many problems in your relationship. A lack of trust can also affect your mental health in the following ways:

Lack of intimacy: When there is little trust in a relationship, intimacy tends to decrease. When your partner is being deceitful, you will likely want to distance yourself from them, both emotionally and physically.
Negativity: When you feel wronged by your partner, you may fixate on this feeling, which will not only cause you to withdraw from them, but will also cause you to be filled with anger towards them. This can stifle connection and closeness.
Insecurity: Lack of trust usually leads to insecurity in the relationship . In turn, you will constantly doubt what your partner tells you and may react by becoming more controlling, which can push them further away. For instance, incessantly calling or texting your partner to keep tabs on them can drive them away.
Depression and anxiety: If there is little trust in your relationship, you might experience higher levels of depression or anxiety because you will constantly question whether your partner is lying or being deceitful.
Trouble concentrating : Lack of trust can lead to an inability to concentrate, especially if you are constantly worrying or wondering what the other person is actually thinking, feeling, or doing.
Distress : Not being able to trust your partner contributes to mental, emotional, and physical distress, including betrayal, trauma, and emotional dysregulation.
Fear : Low trust can cause feelings of fear and anxiety. You might be afraid of what your partner will do next, or you might worry that they won't be there when you need them.
Loneliness : When you can't trust the closest person in your life, you are bound to experience feelings of loneliness and isolation.

There are a number of things that you can do to help promote trust in your relationship. Romanoff shares some strategies that can be helpful.

Improve on Mistakes

An important step to build trust is to be honest and forthcoming when you violate expectations or hurt one another.

Everyone makes mistakes . What is important is that you can learn and grow closer to each other after you repair whatever was damaged as a result of the mistake. The best way to do this is to own them completely and show how you will do better in the future.

Engage in Open Communication

Secrecy tends to erode trust , so when your partner is able to be transparent and allows space to explore topics that might trigger your mistrust, you can begin to feel more at ease and begin to let your guard down.

The more you are able to get on the same page, the closer you will feel toward your partner. Open communication makes it easier for you to discuss concerns about the relationship. When you can have open communication, you will feel closer to your partner.

If trust has been damaged in a relationship, there are things that you can do to help rebuild your trust, intimacy, and connection. Steps you can take:

Be open and willing to work on the relationship
Create new positive experiences together
Talk to one another
Find ways to connect
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Keep and follow through on commitments you make
Be consistent
Listen empathetically, be present with your partner, and ask questions to better understand them and your relationship with them
Continually deepen your own self-awareness so that you can share your most honest thoughts, emotions, needs, and requests
Acknowledge and take responsibility for mistakes made, apologize for the harm done, and be clear and specific about how things will be approached differently in the future

Patience is also important. It may take time to rebuild trust, but continuing to work toward improving your relationship can help you eventually mend those damaged connections.

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Kleinert T, Schiller B, Fischbacher U, et al. The Trust Game for Couples (TGC): A new standardized paradigm to assess trust in romantic relationships . PLoS One . 2020;15(3):e0230776. Published 2020 Mar 26. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0230776

Arikewuyo AO, Eluwole KK, Özad B. Influence of Lack of Trust on Romantic Relationship Problems: The Mediating Role of Partner Cell Phone Snooping . Psychol Rep . 2021;124(1):348-365. doi:10.1177/0033294119899902

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Trust Essay: Example and Tips

1 Example of introduction to trust essay
2.1 Trusting a person means being ready for any reaction
2.2 What is mistrust?
2.3 Why should you trust people?
2.4 Ways to learn to trust people
3 Example of conclusion of trust essay

Example of introduction to trust essay

First of all, trust is confidence in a person and in his actions. In trust, there are always two sides and a person can always get what he wanted initially. In psychology, the term trust is treated as a person’s condition, in which he consciously becomes dependent on another person whom he trusts.

Absolutely any relationship between people is built on trust to each other, both in relationship with unfamiliar people on the street, at the request of help or in communication with loved ones. Trust always carries certain risks for a person, it can be understood or, conversely, rejected. Every person who enters the state of trust in people must take into account several simple factors:

Trust is a change in distance
Degrees of risk

Trusting a person means being ready for any reaction

What is mistrust, why should you trust people.

On whose side is the power? Trust or not trust?

Ways to learn to trust people

By revealing his experiences to someone, a person automatically changes the distance, he becomes closer. It is not surprising that people do not trust their problems and thoughts to people in whom they are unsure. Simply, they keep away from them at a distance.

Every person who wants to establish relationships with people must remember the rule – if you want to change attitudes with people – learn to trust. Naturally, you can not try to get close to other people, do not open and do not trust, but, for example, wait for the moment when people themselves will drag on and will be the first to open their experiences. But it is worth remembering, trust is often mutual. “I trust – they trust me.”

The person who has decided to trust needs to understand that there is a kind of risk when he can be misunderstood or even rejected in his revealed experiences.

Example of main body of trust essay

Trusting people with their experiences, the person himself becomes to some extent vulnerable. Having failed once, he risks closing himself and becoming distrustful of others. Trusting the closest, a person can get negative experiences, experience pain and disappointment because he expected another reaction. Thus, we can say that trust is a kind of lottery in which a person can win or lose.

If a person is dependent on an opinion from the outside and has low self-esteem, then the degree of trust in people can be higher. For example, a person who does not know how to act in this or that situation often seeks to ask someone for advice. The degree of risk in trust can be twofold:

determined by the state from the inside;
determined by a person’s readiness for undesirable reactions.

Whatever it was, if you learn to assess the degree of risk, you can avoid many unpleasant situations for yourself and others. After all, to trust or not to trust is the responsibility of the person himself. No one can foresee what will be the reaction to the trust of another person.

You can learn to control your emotions and feelings, but you will not be able to control another person. Most often, trusting, a person expects that his experiences will be received positively, they will respond and always help. But the thing is that trusting means being ready for any reaction, not even the most anticipated.

In order for the reaction to trust not to cause frustration and despondency, it is necessary to be prepared for negative reactions and accept that a person can not always react as desired.

Mistrust is the easiest way to loneliness. It is impossible to build any normal relations if there is no trust in each other. Mistrust is a defensive reaction of a person who is unsure of people and their reactions to the actions. If you look for the roots of mistrust, then most likely the reaction comes from the person’s own insecurity in himself, the fear of being rejected, deceived, not accepted. Refusing to trust, a person closes, thereby trying to protect himself from negative experiences. There are several reasons for mistrust:

failure to fulfill promises;

Mistrust can come from a person’s family. When a small child opens to his parents, he shows them his fragile soul. If parents gave excessive assessment, punished or humiliated the child in his desire to be open, then in adult life such a person would avoid trust, realizing that the closest can hurt, what to say about strangers.

As already mentioned, mistrust leads to loneliness. A person is a social being, whose normal life requires relationships. Without society there would be no man himself. Lack of communication and trust in people leads to loneliness and reclusion. Despite the fact that trust can easily degenerate into mistrust, it is worth talking about positive aspects.

Confidence allows us to build strong and harmonious relations between people. People who want to build comfortable friendships need confidence in each other because this is the only way to get closer and get to know a better person. By revealing his experiences to others, a person unconsciously includes him in his life.

At first glance it may seem that people who have chosen mistrust are less vulnerable to society. Nobody knows anything about them, they do not open their experiences and, in principle, do not tell anything about themselves. But there is a downside, such people do not have the power to approach people on their own initiative.

It turns out that someone who trusts others can freely change the distance in the relationship – approaching and moving away. Such people tend to have more power in a relationship, because they have more choice.

Only careful work on yourself will help a person increase confidence in others. There are several tips that can help a person become more open:

Believe in yourself and improve your self-esteem. No matter how strange it may sound, but when a person is confident in himself and nothing touches him, he can easily tolerate criticism or non-acceptance on the part of relatives or friends.
Learn to share responsibility. In relations with another person, it is important to understand the boundaries of one’s responsibility and his own. Do not foresee its actions and expect the reaction you want to receive.
Be sincere and tell the person that you want to trust him, but worry that you will be criticized.
Immediately identify the boundaries by saying, for example, that you want to get support from a person, not criticism. Thus, it is possible to create a kind of verbal agreement, which will help to improve mutual trust.
Be honest with yourself, understand exactly what you want from a person. Sometimes the desire to trust is the desire to get sympathy or pity from the companion. Different contexts carry different reactions of the person, for example, trusting, we want to be listened to and understood. While complaining, we want to lose some of the negative emotions, and hear the words of support and sympathy.

Example of conclusion of trust essay

To trust or not to trust is the responsibility of every person. If there is a desire to become closer to people and build harmonious friendships, then you can and even need to be trusted. If you do not want to trust people at all, but you are comfortable, then you can not worry, but live peacefully in this state, and if the time comes, then try to change the situation for the better.

And if on the contrary, there is a desire to get close to people and make new acquaintances, but it does not work out, then there is a problem and it must be solved. And in order to solve the problem you can use the above tips.

Let’s formulate the conclusions, which (after independent thinking and decision about correctness, which is based on facts and logic) can be applied in life.

The general rule: trust close people “by default”, in other cases generally use this concept less often. There are other rules and other goals.
If you have problems in this area, try to understand their reasons. Is it a matter of emotional laziness? In the past disappointments? In cluttered consciousness stereotypes?
Create your own system. If you like, the classification of important people for you, organizations, sources of information. Think about two questions about those with whom you interact:
how much do I want to trust this subject?
how much does this subject deserve my precious trust?

Here we need a couple more remarks. Firstly, it is clear that such a classification is by no means a two-level classification, not according to the principle of “yes / no”. Someone you trust 100% (and with him go to the intelligence service), someone at 60% (you will lend money, but not more).

Secondly, speaking of the fact that business relations and impersonal communication are outside the concept of trust, I did not mean at all that one must constantly be afraid of a dirty trick. This is ineffective. You just need to soberly look at things and take into account different factors. For example, if I go to a good restaurant and hope for a good meal, this does not mean that you trust this restaurant – say, there are such wonderful people! You just know that the image is part of their business. Or when I download the program from the official site, I also do not care too much about checking it with an antivirus. Do you understand? This is not trust. I just know that people (companies) with whom I come into contact, care about their image.

Trust in a Relationship

Examine the role and importance of trust in relationships, be it personal, professional, or social. Discuss how trust is built, broken, and restored. Include psychological perspectives on trust dynamics, its impact on relationship quality, and strategies for cultivating a trustworthy environment. On PapersOwl, there’s also a selection of free essay templates associated with Friendship.

How it works

When someone thinks about the most significant quality in a family member, a friend, or a person he or she meets new, the term ‘trust’ immediately comes to mind. It is something that one cannot ignore. It has always been there in human nature. There are different variations within the trust for example naked trust or dry trust etc. Therefore, Trust is a complex fragile term involved in a person’s day-to-day life, it plays an important role in forming or creating rifts in relationships and is present in everyone’s life from birth till death even if he/she is not aware of it.

A group of lab partners was having a heated argument among themselves one hour before their lab report was due. They had divided their work by forming two teams. Unfortunately, both the groups came up with different calculations. Tension and sweat had stormed everybody’s faces. In this case, Mike, a student is known for his genius thinking spoke up “Guys! Trust me, I’m sure my group did it right.” “Trust!” John cried out with a sense of frustration and cation in his voice. Everyone around the table also pounced on this pitiful world, while poor disappointed Mike retreated back to his original position on his stool. Trust is an integral part of everybody’s day-to-day life.

But what does it really mean? According to Merriam Webster, the term ‘trust’ means assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something (Merriam Webster). In simple terms, trust refers to having faith in someone, without knowing what the outcome would be. Trust is just like glass. Once it is shattered; it will never be the same. That’s why trust has such a high value in this world. When someone experiences the pain in trust, he or she cannot take the risk of getting hurt again. Thus, they always try to build walls of emotional guard around them for protection. A sense of fear prevails in their minds which makes them reluctant to trust again. The most common reason why people lose trust is when someone lies, betrays or fails to uphold promises. When trust is broken, the only possible solution is forgiveness which is very hard to grant at that moment. Many ‘turncoats’ have the tendency to take advantage of the trust you put in them without even thinking about the possible consequences you’ll have to face for a split second. So chose wisely when you trust someone no matter how big or small the reason is. Once it is broken, it can take a year or possibly a decade to gain trust again. However, it will certainly not be the same as before.

Overall, trust is a maze, which is hard to solve, a barrier in life, and an extraordinary feeling which sometimes leaves all of us vulnerable in front of those ignorant and inhumane turncoats. Trust can be found in ordinary things, for example, a pet relying on its owner for food and care, or it can also be seen in complex and many serious issues, for example, two cops watching each other back at work. Both of them blindly trusting each other with their lives. Just imagine the level of trust between them. Life is precious to everyone and giving it in the hands of another person is certainly a very daring thing to do. Every friendship is built upon trust. Good friends will never let other friends do something wrong or stab them in the back in any form throughout their lives and will expect others to do the same for them. If someone knows that one can handle responsibility and is capable of doing the right thing even if they are not asked, he will for sure extend a hand of support. A friendship where trust is considered sacred is always a fruitful one and lasts till the last breath of those involved. However, this is not always the case. When friends take each other’s trust them lightly, that relationship is bound to fail. This is summed up by Steig Larrson’s famous saying in his work “Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.” ( The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). Let’s dive into a real-world example that my uncle Adolf Hitler disclosed while I was interviewing him. (Interview with uncle Adolf Hitler). “So uncle, you are sixty-six years old now, have you ever encountered a friendship where you got along pretty well initially and then the guy broke your trust?” I asked him closely. “Yea, when I was in my forties. I wanted to buy stocks in the stock market. I had like $70000 sum of money. One of my old school friends offered me to invest in his business, well that devil turned out to be a traitor. He stole my money and shook me off with a reason that the business market went into loss and my cash went down the drain!” There was a pain in his eyes. “I am so sorry for your loss” I replied with sympathy. “Listen here young chap, the world is pretty dark. Ya never know what’s out there.

Some people are wolves inside with sheep costumes on top to deceive you”. He replied with a cold face. Those right there, are words of wisdom with the same lesson, chose wisely who you trust! Trust has always been an important part of everyone’s life. It is there whether they are aware of it or not. When we are born, we know our parents will shower their love and affection upon us. In our teenage, we all expect our family and friends alike to guide us on the straight path and support us in making correct decisions. During our high school and college years, we trust our teachers to grade us accurately and polish us in the best possible way for the real world. All of us expect our life partners to love and take care of us throughout our adult years. We rely on our children and relatives to take our care once we are old. Even on the day we die, we know that our relatives, family, and friends will bid us farewell at our funeral into the afterworld. We all trust everyone we know to pray for our forgiveness from God after our death. Although our destination in the afterlife depends upon our deeds in this world, we all sometimes expect and trust God to grant us heaven. Therefore, trust follows us everywhere throughout our lives. It is the moral foundation of every relationship. It is like constructing a building. As you cannot build something without a firm foundation. Similarly, you cannot build a relationship without trust. Always trust someone who is special to you. A blind trust may lead you to failure. This the reality and we all have to live with it.

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Essay on Trust

Students are often asked to write an essay on Trust in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Trust

What is trust.

Trust is a strong belief in someone or something. It is a feeling of safety and security that comes from knowing that you can rely on someone or something.

The Importance of Trust

Trust is important in all aspects of life. It is the foundation of strong relationships, both personal and professional. It allows us to feel safe and secure in our interactions with others.

Building Trust

Trust is not something that is given freely. It must be earned over time. There are many things that you can do to build trust with others, such as being honest, reliable, and consistent.

Maintaining Trust

Once you have built trust with someone, it is important to maintain it. This means continuing to be honest, reliable, and consistent. It also means being forgiving and understanding when mistakes are made.

The Benefits of Trust

Trust has many benefits. It can make relationships stronger, improve communication, and lead to greater success.

Also check:

Paragraph on Trust
Speech on Trust

250 Words Essay on Trust

Trust is a feeling of believing someone or something. It is like knowing that they will do what they say they will do, and that they will not let you down. Trust is important in all kinds of relationships, from friendships to family relationships to business relationships.

Why is Trust Important?

Trust is important because it allows us to rely on others. When we trust someone, we can relax and let them take care of things. We can be sure that they will do their best, and that they will not try to hurt us. Trust also makes us feel safe and secure.

How Can We Build Trust?

Building trust takes time and effort. It involves being honest, reliable, and consistent. It also involves being open and communicative. When we are honest with others, they know that they can believe what we say. When we are reliable, they know that they can count on us to do what we say we will do. And when we are consistent, they know that we will always be there for them.

How Can We Repair Broken Trust?

If trust has been broken, it can be difficult to repair. However, it is possible to rebuild trust if both people are willing to work on it. The first step is to apologize and acknowledge the hurt that was caused. The next step is to make a plan to change the behavior that led to the broken trust. Finally, it is important to be patient and persistent. Rebuilding trust takes time, but it is possible.

In Conclusion

Trust is a vital part of any relationship. It allows us to rely on others, feel safe and secure, and work together to achieve common goals. Building trust takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When we have trust in others, we can live happier, more fulfilling lives.

500 Words Essay on Trust

Trust is a powerful feeling of depending on someone or something to behave in a certain way. It is a belief that a person or thing will not harm or deceive us. Trust is essential for human relationships and social interactions. Without trust, we would be constantly suspicious and fearful of others, and we would be unable to cooperate effectively.

How is Trust Gained?

Trust is built over time through consistent positive interactions. When someone consistently behaves in a trustworthy manner, we start to feel confident that they will continue to do so in the future. This can happen on a macro level by observing a person’s actions over time and noticing that they are consistently reliable, honest and keep their promises. It can also be built more quickly on a micro level by our interactions with that person. If someone goes out of their way to help us, without expecting anything in return, this can foster a great sense of trust.

Trust is important for several reasons. First, it allows us to feel safe and secure in our relationships. When we trust someone, we believe that they will not hurt us or intentionally do something to harm us. This allows us to relax and be ourselves around them. Second, trust is essential for cooperation. When we trust someone, we are more likely to work together with them towards a common goal. We are also more likely to share our resources and ideas with them, knowing that they will use them wisely.

What Happens When Trust is Broken?

When trust is broken, it can have devastating consequences. We may feel betrayed, angry, and hurt. We may also lose confidence in our ability to judge people, and we may become suspicious of others. Broken trust can damage relationships and make it difficult to move forward.

How to Build Trust

There are a number of things that we can do to build trust with others. First, we need to be honest and transparent. We need to let others know what we are thinking and feeling, and we need to be willing to share our vulnerabilities. Second, we need to be reliable and consistent. We need to follow through on our commitments, and we need to be there for others when they need us. Third, we need to be respectful of others. We need to listen to them and value their opinions, even if we disagree with them. Finally, we need to be forgiving. We need to be able to let go of past hurts and move on.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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Happy studying!

Essay on Trust | Importance & Benefits of having Trust in Life

Sincerity is about being honest with yourself and others, keeping your word and doing the right thing even when no one is watching. People who are not sincere tend to be dishonest and insincere about their feelings and intentions.

Essay on Trust | Meaning, Purpose & Importance of having Trust in Life

Trust is placing confidence or reliance on someone or something; dependability. Sincerity means genuineness; honesty. So trust and sincerity are two factors that matter in relationships. Trust has to be earned, it isn’t given freely to anyone who requests it. It takes time to earn trust but can be lost in seconds.

Sincerity tends to go hand in hand with trustworthiness. If you want people to trust you, you have to prove that you can be trusted, and if you can’t be trusted, why should people trust you? This is the main difference between trust and sincerity. Trustworthiness implies being reliable and having the competence to do something well. People trust those they can rely on, those who are competent enough and reliable.

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Importance of Trust in Life

Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship. Without trust, there can be no friendship or love. Trust forms the basis for sympathy and happiness. Trust is the glue that binds people together and space between them.

Trusting someone implies believing in his or her capabilities, so if you trust someone you are giving them the responsibility to do something, and they represent you in that task. If you fail to carry out this responsibility, you will lose the other’s trust. This is why trust is important not only in personal life but also at work, where it is essential to get things done. If you don’t trust someone, there is no point in giving him or her an important assignment.

When you tell a lie to someone, you betray his or her trust. It feels terrible to be betrayed like that. Consequently, people are really careful whom they give their trust to and whom do not. If you lose someone’s trust, it is difficult to regain it again and the relationship may never be the same as it used to be. It is important to realize that if you do not have the trust of others, your life may become very difficult in many ways.

Benefits of Trust in Life

When you trust someone, it means that you believe in his or her abilities and qualities. In fact, you are giving this person the responsibility of representing you in some task that is important to you. If this person fails to carry out this responsibility, he or she will lose your trust and it will be difficult for him or her to regain it. The main benefits of trust are:

Trust is the basis for all relationships because no relationship can be functional if there is no trust between the involved parties.
Trust is essential for getting things done efficiently in any field of endeavor.
When you trust someone, it shows that you believe in his or her capabilities to do something for you.
You can rely on a trusted person because he or she will never let you down in any situation.
Trust in a relationship makes it easier for the involved parties to deal with any issues that they may face.

Developing Trust in Life

The only way to develop trust in a relationship is by being trustworthy. If you want people to trust you, you have to prove that you can be trusted, and if you cannot be trusted, why should people trust you? This means that trust is earned. So the first step is to become trustworthy, which means being honest with yourself and others, keeping your word and doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

People who are not sincere tend to be dishonest and insincere about their feelings and intentions. If you want people to trust you, it is a good idea to be sincere about your feelings and intentions towards them. Sincerity tends to go hand in hand with trustworthiness, which means that when you are sincere with someone, he or she is likely to trust you.

>>>>>>>> Related Post : Essay on Importance of Religion in Life

Trust is very important in life because it helps you to get things done efficiently and enjoy healthy relationships. The only way to gain people’s trust is by being trustworthy. Being trustworthy means having the integrity and honesty to do the right thing even if it means going against your own desires.

Short Essay & Paragraphs On Trust

Trust is a necessary part of human relationships and society. Trust means we believe someone will act in a way that does not harm us. It lets us feel safe with others. Without trust, relationships break down and communities fail to thrive.

Table of Contents

Essay & Paragraphs On Trust

Trust is important.

Many factors inform how much we trust others. From a young age, our family, friends and experiences shape our attitudes towards trust. If our caregivers were reliable and honest with us, we likely learned to trust more easily. But inconsistent or unreliable people in our early lives can make us more cautious about trusting others later on.

Our cultural background also affects how much we trust those outside our own group. Some communities place more value on trusting within the group, while others encourage trusting more broadly. How much we trust tends to stay somewhat consistent throughout life, influenced by early experiences.

Trusting others allows relationships to form and grow. When we trust our friends, we feel safe opening up and being honest with them. But trust breaks easily if broken promises or lies come to light. Once trust is lost, it is very hard to regain fully, even after apologizing or making amends. So trust must be earned slowly over time through reliability and honesty.

In the workplace, teammates often need to cooperate and trust each other to do their part. Yet trusting coworkers does not come naturally for many people. It can be hard to trust people we do not know very well. But when team members do learn to trust each other, projects get done faster and better. Healthy skepticism needs to be balanced with a willingness to give colleagues the benefit of the doubt at first.

To build trust, we must prove ourselves trustworthy through our actions. This means reliably doing what we say we will do, meeting commitments, and acting with integrity. Over time, demonstrating honesty and keeping promises establishes that we deserve the trust of others. Trust grows as people see that we consider their needs and interests along with our own.

In summary, trust allows relationships and teams to form and thrive. Yet most people find it difficult to trust others at first. Trust develops slowly through shared positive experiences over time. To merit trust ourselves, we must act with honesty, integrity, and reliability. When well-placed, trust enables people to cooperate, be open and vulnerable with each other in productive ways. Ultimately, trust is the foundation that helps unite individuals into larger social groups and communities.

Paragraphs On Trust

Trust is a key factor in any relationship, be it personal or professional. In order to be successful, trust must be established and maintained. When it comes to business, trust is especially important. It can be the difference between a successful company and one that fails.

There are a few things that can help build trust in a business relationship. First, be honest and forthright. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Be clear and concise in your communication, and make sure that you are listening as well as talking. Finally, follow through on your promises.

Trust is essential for any business relationship, but it can be especially important when working with international partners. When trust is lost, it can be hard to recover.

Do you agree or disagree with the opinion presented? Give reasons for your answer.

You want to make sure that you are clear and concise in your communication because this will help build trust with other people (so long as they see you as honest). If someone else makes a mistake, it is important to be understanding and not attack them. Finally, following through on your promises is very important in order to maintain trust. If you say you are going to do something, do it. These things will help build trust between people who are working together. International business partnerships can be tricky because of cultural differences, but if both parties are willing to work to build trust, it can be a very successful relationship.

I think that being clear and concise in communication is important, but there are other things that are just as important, if not more so. For example, honesty and empathy. If someone makes a mistake, it is important to be understanding and let them know that you are okay with their mistake. It is also important to communicate what you expect from the other person so that they do not feel attacked. Being clear and concise might lead to miscommunication. Finally, I believe that emotions play into trust more than actions, even though following through on promises is important. Actions can be faked, but emotions are harder to hide.

Hello! Welcome to my Blog StudyParagraphs.co. My name is Angelina. I am a college professor. I love reading writing for kids students. This blog is full with valuable knowledge for all class students. Thank you for reading my articles.

Essay on Importance of Good Character For Students

When Trust Is Easily Broken, and When It’s Not

Michael Haselhuhn,
Maurice Schweitzer,
Laura Kray,
Jessica A. Kennedy

It depends on two very different mindsets.

“I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself,” Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth Bennet in a pivotal moment in Pride and Prejudice , before famously admitting: “My good opinion once lost is lost for ever.”

MH Michael Haselhuhn is an Assistant Professor of Management and the A. Gary Anderson Distinguished Faculty Scholar at the University of California Riverside School of Business Administration.
Maurice Schweitzer is the Cecilia Yen Koo Professor at the Wharton School and co-author of Friend & Foe . His research interests include negotiations, emotions, and deception.
LK Laura Kray is a professor and the Warren E. and Carol Spieker Chair in Leadership at the Haas School of Business at the University of California Berkeley.
Jessica A. Kennedy , PhD, is an associate professor of management at Vanderbilt University’s Owen Graduate School of Management. Her research explores issues of gender and ethics in the workplace.

Reflections on Trust: The Power of Trusting People to Be True to Themselves

Many people are talking about trust in business these days. I am, too, because it’s the core of my business as well as my personal life. It just occurred to me that there are often some accidental gotchas within many trust discussions I read, and I’ll explore them in case that’s useful to you. First, I’ll delve into trust a little before sharing some insights on how you can make it actionable in your personal, career, and business relationships.

Reflections on Trust

The core meaning of trust, for me, is reliability, which means being predictable, doing what you say you’ll do. Context has a big impact on what people feel about trust, and trust carries a significant amount of emotion, too. The most fascinating part about it is that most people trust from a “gut” or feeling place more often than a thinking place. People are rarely aware of how they trust. Try me on this—ask some of your friends and colleagues how they trust. I think you’ll be surprised.

To get deeper into it, I’ll try to remove the emotional wrapper that’s usually carried by the context of the situation. Reliability means that I can predict a person’s behavior, whether “good” or “bad.” Since humans have big brains, we have a “theory of mind,” which holds that we recognize that another person may be thinking something really different from what we think, or from what s/he is saying. All of us can lie and mislead, and this makes truth precious. Moreover, most human endeavors depend on other people, so knowing what people are thinking is really important to us.

Therefore, trust helps us to manage risks. We recognize that each of us has the discretion to tell the truth or mislead.

Trust is rarely discussed between people. Each person seems to adjust his/her trust meter based on another person’s behavior. “Words are cheap” reflects the reality that a person can say one thing and do another. Actions are less conscious and are usually a better reflection of what a person really thinks or feels. “Actions speak louder than words.”

The other thing is, trust is conditioned on the situation in which the trusted and the truster are both actors. I can only speak for myself, but a big part of building rewarding relationships is knowing how to trust people, and for what. Someone can be trustworthy for one thing and not for another.

Trust Interactions

Now let’s turn to practical matters. My primary context here is the trust that may exist between a business and its customers and employees. I read, analyze and comment on many posts about customer experience, employee engagement, customer success, and other trust issues. I perceive that often when people say, “I can trust you,” there’s an ellipsis there, as in “to do what’s right.” And another ellipsis continues, “for me.”

In other words, there’s an expectation that the trusted person acts in the interest of the truster. I think this is where a lot of unhappiness happens.

Since I analyze many socially rich interactions, I have more than my personal experience to go on. This is where things get really interesting—and transformational.

I think trust is a largely unconscious negotiation between people, or between companies and people. Each party is mostly aware of his/her desires, which color his/her perception of the interaction, and what s/he wants of the other person. We are all subjective to a large extent, and it takes work to lessen our subjectivity.

What if I learned to recognize and appreciate my subjectivity, to be very present with it, so I could set it aside? Such an action could enable me to perceive what other people are about in terms of themselves. So I could see them for them, not for what I wanted them to be. This would enable me to trust them to be true to themselves.

I observe that trust breakdowns happen within these ellipses:

I can trust you… to do what’s right… for me.

Often one or both parties make assumptions about trust that don’t match up. “What’s right” is subjective and conditional on the situation. “For me” works when there is alignment between the truster’s and the trusted person’s truth and will—but when these diverge, conflict happens. The trusted person, assuming s/he is aware of the conflict, is faced with an uncomfortable choice:

Do what the truster wants even though it’s not what the trusted wants Do what s/he wants, not what the truster wants
Further, in either case the trusted person can choose to share his/her experience with the truster. Verbalize the conflict and his/her decision, or keep it private.

In my experience, verbalizing the conflict communicates confidence and invites more trust and intimacy. Depending on who the people are and the situation they are in, it can entail considerable risk, but in any event, it increases trust considerably.

Making Trust Actionable

Returning to the title, here are three things that drastically improve how trust works in personal and business relationships:

I strive to become and remain aware of my will and subjectivity, and I realize that I am responsible for them
I strive to observe other people primarily to understand them in terms of themselves
When there’s a conflict, I’m transparent about it

When I do these three things, people can feel freer around me because they can act on what they want more often without conflicts. I can avoid many of the assumptions that lurk in the ellipses and cause trust breakdowns. I can minimize conflicts because people will feel that I’m interested in what they want, not only in what I want. I can work through the conflicts that emerge without fear.

The beautiful thing is, each person has the ability to do these three things, without assistance from anyone else. Yes, some people are difficult to trust when they are unclear about themselves, or when they are dishonest. But most people are fairly honest and clear, especially when a conflict isn’t present.

Firms and organizations can do this, too; in fact, that’s what I help my clients to do. Here’s what it looks like for a commercial firm:

We define our will and subjectivity. Who are the most profitable customers, the most productive employees? Who is most valuable to us? We recognize that some people are more valuable to us. We are responsible for this.
We identify hidden agendas we have for the people we identified in Step One. For customers, we recognize that people don’t like our products or services as much as we do. The people we identified in Step One use our products/services to attain outcomes that are personally meaningful to them. We study these outcomes intensely because they are tightly connected to the wills of customers and employees. We realize that, when we support people in attaining these outcomes in digital public, where everyone observes us, these successful outcomes will create pull-through business of the most profitable kind.
When there are conflicts, we verbalize them and work them through in public. For example, when a customer is unhappy with a product and the return period has passed. We can say, “Well, we understand why you’re unhappy and the return period has expired. We value your relationship more than the cost of the return, so here’s your return confirmation number!”

Differences for a Business

Of course, a business is a group of people with a business strategy, so it’s more abstract and less personal than trust between people, and making exceptions as in Step Three above can be calculated risks because some people will insist on the same treatment, but all people will observe and feel touched. This is a powerful lever in growing business sustainably. More than the details of the interaction, the lever is based on the emotion. Verbalizing that the relationship is more important than the details is the fulcrum of the lever, when this is authentic. It can be authentic only when the business has done Step One.

Another thing I’ve learned about trust is that most people and firms really want to be trusted. It is precarious when they insist on being trusted because this is overstepping the fact that each person is sovereign over his/her trust. By definition, trusting is discretionary to the truster, and violating that discretion by insisting on being trusted engenders mistrust (how do you feel when someone says, “Trust me!”?). Trust cannot be taken, it is given, so it is earned. In a business context, see the Trust-Business Chain Reaction to see how this works for businesses at scale, step by step.

The most empowering thing a person or a business can do, in a personal and business context, is to give trust first—by trusting the other person to do what’s right for him/herself. When the culture, rules, and employees of the firm interact on this basis, they earn trust through their interactions, which are available for all to see. As I shared in the What If? video , I’ve learned that people as a group are trustworthy when they’re in digital public, with very few exceptions.

You can trust people. Try it!

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About Trust, Part Six – A Deeper Dive Into Core Values

By Mark Abbott

At the core of every company is people. Everyone says this, so it reads trite, but anyone who has ever worked in a company knows this to be true. They also know that their level of life satisfaction, and their level of well-being, is fairly dependent upon their level of satisfaction with their work. Not only that, their satisfaction with work is significantly dependent upon their satisfaction with their relationships at work. In short, I believe High Trust Company’s (HTC’s) are those where the vast majority of employees genuinely love not just their Work but their Workplace (yep, another intentional capital W).

The other major item that comes into play for almost every worker is their belief that their work matters (aka they buy into the company’s purpose). Deep down inside I believe we all want to matter (and that to matter, we need to make life better). This is consistent with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. If we matter, we will have a reasonable likelihood of developing self-esteem. I write “developing” because you cannot give it to someone. That was one of the big flaws with the self-esteem movement that began in the late 20th century. You have to earn self-esteem because then it’s yours. You earned it. You own it. You can take it with you if you want to move to another tribe (aka company). I like to say: to matter, you have to matter. By that I mean you can’t just want to matter, you have to earn it.

It’s like an insight I acquired decades ago which is: You don’t make money because you want to make money; you make money because someone values what it is you do / have.

This simple idea applies to individuals and companies. At the risk of stating the obvious, all of this Work needs to be executed reasonably well if the company operates in a market where competition exists.

The consequence of all of this is that HTC’s have cultures that not only recognize the importance of people, and their need to matter, but minimize the inherent friction associated with all these different types of people (each of whom wants to matter) coming together and breaking apart to do Work. And one of the most important things HTC’s do is develop high trust cultures that are built upon a small collection of very well developed “Core Values.” Without a clear set of deeply shared values… there is no enduring connection ).

HTC’s inevitably develop cultures that minimize the inherent friction associated with…different types of people coming together and breaking apart to do Work.

As I wrote about in “ Being Human: 101 ,” thousands of years ago we developed values to make it easier for us to survive and flourish as social beings. The consequence of this is values are ubiquitous in all groups (religious or secular).

After a couple of decades or so of living on this planet, most of us have come to learn that there are all sorts of groups out there. Some we’re attracted to and comfortable within, and some we’d rather not be a member of. It feels almost wrong to write the last sentence, but it’s true. This doesn’t mean we cannot co-exist and thrive without belonging to all groups. And it certainly doesn’t mean that different groups cannot get along.

What it does mean is we are not well suited for all groups and, frankly, not all groups want us. Some groups need a certain level of Competency we don’t possess (e.g., an NBA team for >99.999% of humans) and some require a Character that we may not possess (e.g., a spy ring for me — I couldn’t lie well enough to save my life), and many are composed of values that don’t match well with ours (e.g., a dictatorship — I am not a big fan of being told what to do. You?).

Components Typically Associated with Connections-Based Trust

This is my first essay where we’re going to take a deeper look at some of the more complex ingredients associated with the Three Dimensions of Trust. I’m starting these “deep dives” by unpacking the Core Values component of the Connections-Based Trust dimension (which I have come to believe could also be called the Social-Based Trust dimension but the “Three C’s of Trust” generally resonates better for me — feel free to comment). I’m starting with Core Values because it’s one of the most common ingredients that companies focus on if they have any interest in building an HTC.

So what are values?

According to Wikipedia: “In ethics, value denotes the degree of importance of some thing or action, with the aim of determining what actions are best to do or what way is best to live (normative ethics), or to describe the significance of different actions. Value systems are prospective and prescriptive beliefs: they affect ethical behavior of a person or are the basis of their intentional activities. Often primary values are strong and secondary values are suitable for changes. What makes an action valuable may in turn depend on the ethical values of the object it increases, decreases or alters. An object with “ethic value” may be termed an “ethic or philosophical good” (noun sense).”

I love this definition because there is so much to unpack here. Let’s list a few of the values of values:

Some values are strongly held (e.g., what is good and important, tend to endure and are typically widely held by a group [e.g., democracy])
Some values are more personal and subject to change (e.g., what is useful, beautiful, desirable and constructive)
Most of us have values that reflect our personal beliefs on what “ought to be”
Every value can be categorized along three sub dimensions: – Importance (to me, to the group) – Relevance (to me, to the group) – Time (durability)
Since values help us understand the degree of importance, they are hierarchical in nature
Since values are hierarchical, and we care more about things that deeply matter to us than those that don’t, they also help us form a hierarchy for feeling (from strongly for, to indifferent, to strongly against)
Values have value and consequently can be thought of as a good (i.e., something whose value can be measured)
The value of values can, with a bit of work, be measured and consequently values make it easier to objectively assess options so we can undertake cost / benefit analyses, make informed decisions and do what our team calls GSSD™ (“Get Smart Stuff Done™)
Consequently, values help us form a hierarchy for thinking, feeling and doing (all three of which are needed to create and innovate) that not only simplify our choices but make it significantly easier for us to Work, and through our Work, make life better

What Core Values are Not

If you’ve been following this series, you may recall I purposely inserted the Core Values component into the Connections-Based Trust dimension and that, for purposes of clarity, I highly recommend you think of Core Values as traits that are not commonly associated with Character and Competency. I’ve worked with dozens of companies that mix these concepts and their Core Values are far more effective, and durable, when they don’t dilute them with Character-based traits (e.g., honesty, integrity) that are, in the words of Patrick Lincioni, “permission to play” or Competency-based traits that are not appropriate for every single seat in our company (e.g., detail oriented, innovative, organized).

Some Guiding Principles for Creating a Company’s Core Values

Core Values are a short list (typically 3 to 7) of behavioral norms, philosophical beliefs, and / or guiding principles that a company finds sacrosanct (aka important, relevant and enduring). The best Company Core Values score 10/10 across all three dimensions (recall, I love being able to understand the math associated with trust ).

Well-defined and genuinely embraced Core Values:

Clarify who we are
Articulate what we stand for
Guide us on who we hire
Help explain why we do business the way we do
Guide us on how to teach
Inform us on how to reward
Help us to better understand why some people don’t fit
Help us let people go
Unify the whole organization
Inform our business processes
Guide / are compatible with our value proposition
Require no external justification

There are numerous approaches to developing your company’s Core Values. If you haven’t already enumerated them or if you are not sure yours are right, here’s a brief summary of how I help my clients find theirs:

I have them collectively create a list of 10–15 employees they love working with (the more that are known by most of those in the room, the better).
I present the Three C’s of Trust framework and ask them to list the behavioral traits (repeat: not character, not competency) that they love about each one of these people.
I write the words and short phrases (e.g., Get Stuff Done, Do the Right Thing) that they use to describe the traits that they love up on a white board.
Once we’re done building the list of traits, I ask each of them to share the names of some colleagues (present and / or past) who they find / found really difficult to work with. My goal is to get 5–7 names and then have them share what behaviors / traits they find difficult to work with. Almost all the time, they tend to be the antithesis of some of the behaviors that they found so attractive in the colleagues that they loved working with.
As they share their list of what I call “antitheticals,” we star the attractive / opposite behaviors.
Finally, we work to consolidate the list into about five Core Values (90% of my clients have five).
I know we’ve built Core Values that will last when the words we choose are words they were using all of the time. Words that they obviously use in the workplace. Words that are authentic, clear and easy to remember.

90% of the time, we get a very good initial list of Core Values within an hour, we load them into the Core Values section of Ninety.io (forgive the plug but it’s true), add some descriptors, and the teams find the exercise almost magical.

I then ask them to sleep on our Work and tweak as needed until they deeply love them. 90% of the time they are ready to publish / share their Core Values by the end of our second or third session together.

While I love all aspects of being a coach, helping teams nail their Core Values is probably not only one of the most rewarding things I do, but it’s probably the easiest Work I do.

If you’ve already built out your Core Values, are you and your colleagues confident they will stand the test of time?

Rock-solid values have three common “core” traits; they are important, relevant and enduring . It’s a worthy exercise to run each of your proposed values up against each of these. Is this value truly important to us as individuals and as an organization? Is this value relevant — does it matter as essential to who we are? And as time rolls on and we navigate future changes (some yet to be anticipated), will this value endure as we evolve?

Also, avoid diluting Core Values with words, concepts or traits related to Character or Competency . As referenced earlier, Character-Based Traits (e.g., “integrity”) are table stakes and add little value. Incorporating Competency-Based Traits (e.g. “innovative”) that typically don’t apply to every seat in the company will not stand the test of time if your using your Core Values to assess every person in your company and every candidate you consider hiring. What follows is a simple diagram you can use to assess your current Core Values if you already have them or to help you develop yours if you haven’t.

If the answers aren’t checked straight across the board, you may want to schedule an hour with your senior team and run through the exercise I shared earlier.

As Jim Collins and Jerry Porass masterfully presented in Built to Last (the book that unquestionably launched my career), enduring companies are founded, and later led, by individuals who not only provide their organizations with strong and well-defined philosophical belief systems but endeavor to ensure the systems persevere.

In short, genuine, well crafted, Core Values are one of the essential ingredients you’ll find in virtually every HTC. They help us distinguish between important and not important, desirable or not desirable. They help us find our kind of people and steer clear of the wrong people for us. They are tightly aligned set of lights that guide us toward and away from actions. They are one of the key ingredients associated with building and maintaining a High Trust Company.

Executive Summary

A person’s well-being in general is influenced by the level of satisfaction with their Work, with their relationships within the workplace and the belief that their Work matters (aka they buy into the company’s purpose).
You don’t make money because you want to make money; you make money because someone values what it is you do / have.
An organization’s Core Values are a key component of the Connections-Based Trust dimension, one of the most common ingredients that companies focus on if they have any interest in building an HTC. This typically is a short list of behavioral norms, philosophical beliefs, and / or guiding principles that a company finds important, relevant and enduring.
While there are different approaches to develop Core Values, well-defined and genuinely embraced Core Values will help clearly define who the company is, what it stands for, who belongs in it, who doesn’t, and make it much easier to not only attract but retain your kind of great people.
Over the longer run, great Core Values accelerate our ability to build, and sustain, a High Trust Company.

About the Author

This article is part of a series by Mark Abbott. Mark is the Visionary / Founder of Ninety.io and a sought-after business leader, writer and executive-team coach. With nearly four decades of experience with early stage, small and mid-sized companies as a lender, investor and business builder, his passion centers on helping people build extraordinarily productive, humane and resilient companies.

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About Trust, Part One – A Forever Work in Progress

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About Trust, Part Two – What is Trust

About Trust, Part 7a - A Deeper Dive Into Connections, Culture and Hierarchies

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Paul Scheer Is Most Nervous About Sharing This Part of His New Book (Exclusive)

The comedian and actor’s new essay collection, ‘Joyful Recollections of Trauma,’ is on sale May 21

Carly Tagen-Dye is the Books editorial assistant at PEOPLE, where she writes for both print and digital platforms.

Abby Stern is a writer-reporter at PEOPLE. She’s been writing about entertainment, fashion, beauty, and other lifestyle content for over fifteen years.

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Paul Scheer originally had some reservations about a chapter in his forthcoming book. Speaking with PEOPLE at a Los Angeles party for his new essay collection, Joyful Recollections of Trauma , on May 16, the comedian, 48, shared that there was a chapter that he was initially hesitant to include. “The one chapter I struggled with the most was the ADHD chapter that's at the end because it was something that I got diagnosed with as an older person, as a person with a child,” he said. The Veep actor said that both his publisher and his wife, Grace and Frankie star June Diane Raphael , encouraged him to include the section in the essay collection, which details the ways his childhood experiences have impacted his life.

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“She's like, ‘It's the first time I feel like I understood you, like I understood what having your issue is like,'" Scheer said of Raphael. "And it's been odd because it's the one thing that I've told really no one."

Despite how difficult it was for Scheer to write that part of the book, he recalled that early readers were impacted impacted by the chapter, and that they told him it spoke to them. “That was really hard for me, to be that vulnerable, because I think it's still fresh with me, whereas the other stuff was a little bit more dealt with on some level,” he said. “And then I realized that what I respond to in any kind of art, whether it's film, TV or books, is that personal thing, that journey. And it's like my book isn't prescriptive in any way, but it is personal.”

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“I felt like I realize now I like that chapter being in it because I'm like, ‘Oh, if I would've read that chapter, I might have checked myself out if someone else wrote it,’” he added. “And really, that's how I found out that I had ADHD, was [by] reading other people's dealing with it. So that was something that was really hard for me to be out there with, but also I'm now proud that it's there.”

Family also plays a prominent role in Scheer’s book, as the actor said that he dedicates the book to his parents, as well as his wife and their sons, Gus and Sam.

“They challenge me in the best ways and they bring me to a place that does make me better, that I want to be a great parent to them,” Scheer said of his kids. “I know I'm going to have faults. I know I'm going to make a mistake, but they make me want to be a person that is aware…they make me want to be better.”

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“I don't think I could have written this book without being a father because that perspective of being a father allowed me to look at my childhood differently, and I think has colored how I treat them and how I am with them,” he continued.

Scheer added that writing his book ultimately became a way to see how far he’s come in his life and career. “I think the reason why I was able to write this book now was because of the work I did,” he says. “I didn't treat the book [as] my therapy as much as a reflection of the work that I've done on myself, so I was able to feel comfortable.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human-interest stories. Joyful Recollections of Trauma will hit shelves on May 21, and is now available for preorder, wherever books are sold.

Some Thoughts about Trust

The most trusting relationships may grow from losing and then rebuilding trust.

Posted August 31, 2012

Trust, like safety, runs deep. When we don't experience trust, as when we don't experience safety, we shut down, protect, and hide our vulnerability. We also, in both cases, tend to place responsibility for our experience on the outside. It is extraordinarily challenging, when we don't experience trust, to recognize it as our experience instead of assuming that whoever we are not trusting is simply not trustworthy. It is similarly difficult, when our experience tells us that we are not safe, to step outside of the conviction that "it" is unsafe to be where we are.

Before proceeding much further, I want to make it clear here that I am talking about trust and safety as they relate to the emotional and social aspects of life, and I am not addressing situations in which physical safety is at risk. Only a rare few of us are able to maintain choice and presence in the face of physical danger. As inspiring as such stories are, they are not within reach of most of us, and I am therefore choosing to exclude physical safety from what I am focusing on. That said, I nonetheless want to stress that my readings so far in life have led me to believe that the human possibility exists that even when what's at stake is our physical safety, accepting our vulnerability and our ultimate inability to control ourselves or the environment , we often have more ability to transform our inner experience and to affect our outer environment.

From Trusting People to Trusting in Life

Some people are slow to develop trust. They check out new people for a while before lowering their guards and trusting them. Whether by grace or naïveté, my own responses have been different. I usually have a great deal of ease trusting people when I first meet them. I extend my heart, expect the best, get excited about possibilities, and open up fully.

Some people lose trust with someone instantaneously and have an extremely difficult time restoring it. I've had chilling experiences with people, times when I did something that affected another person negatively, and that was the end of any communication between us. Or times when one false move resulted in such profound loss of trust toward me that I couldn't imagine what I could do to restore trust, ever. A distance descended on the relationship, either in the form of coldness, or in the form of avoidance of meaningful engagement, keeping things on a safe surface. I've also had experiences when people responded in dramatically different ways, and approached me to engage in order to restore trust, which we were then able to do.

On my end, I tend to seek communication, trying to understand what happened, what the effect of it was on me or the other person, how we can repair, move forward, restore understanding, come back to trust.

All these experiences, from both ends of trust building or loss of trust, have left me with a growing sense that trust can be an attitude toward life, quite beyond a reaction to how someone treats us. Living in trust is no guarantee that nothing painful or even dangerous would happen to us. Such guarantees simply don't exist. Rather, it is a way of responding to life. For me, living in trust is a willingness to risk the loss, and preferring the possibility of being burnt every once in a while to the alternative of living in fear and continually attempting to check out everyone and everything, protect ourselves from all eventualities, and imagine that we can be safe.

The culture in which we live often operates on the model of mitigating risk. This model logically compels us to protect, and tends to reduce trust and create adversarial relationships. I vastly prefer the attitude of focusing on building trust. Paradoxically, I believe that putting energy and resources into building trust is, ultimately, the most effective strategy for mitigating risk. The person who is trusted, respected, and cared about, is the person least likely to want to harm us.

When Trust Is Lost

When we don't experience trust with someone, it seems impossible that we may ever experience it again. Losing trust also has an edge of humiliation attached to it for many of us, as if we are found out to have been foolish to trust in the first place. From the other direction, I imagine many of us know the crushing experience of someone losing trust in us and not knowing how to support them in regaining it, especially when we believe their perception of mistrust is erroneous.

Recently, I was present for an anguished moment between two coworkers, let's call them Rachel and Miranda. Both of them were in tears as Miranda said that Rachel had spoken to her using foul language, while Rachel adamantly insisted she hadn't. In short order, I believed both of them. How could this be, how could they both be telling the truth? In truth, no one has any clue what "really" happened. What I did know was the experience of truth in their presence. I can completely imagine that Rachel said something else that sounded like certain specific words to Miranda. It took enormous care and presence to give both of them an experience of being heard. I repeatedly reminded Miranda until she was able to take it in, however briefly or partially, that she, too, couldn't know, and invited her simply to entertain the possibility that Rachel didn't say what she heard. At the same time I repeatedly asked Rachel to hold her own pain until Miranda was done, because there was simply no way that Miranda could listen to her. Eventually, they both calmed down. Will their mutual trust be restored? Certainly not overnight. If, however, Rachel can take in my suggestion and make it a priority to offer Miranda only appreciation and positive experiences until things ease between them, perhaps it will. Miranda, unlike me, didn't sign up to be on the path of vulnerability and openness to life, which makes Rachel's work much more complex to regain her trust. And yet I see it as completely possible.

Part of the paradox of trust is that, more often than not, if I don't trust someone, they probably don't trust me, either. It's likely that the very behavior they do that leads to my mistrust is itself based on not trusting me. I have often used our ability to trust the truth of what someone is saying as an example. When the issue comes up, I ask those present if they have ever lied. Invariably I receive laughter . Of course we have all done some lying in our lives. Once this is clear, I ask people to remember what led them to lie when they did. They immediately can see that what would lead someone not to tell the truth is all and only the fear of the consequences of telling the truth. That's when I tell them that if they want people to tell them the truth, it means creating sufficient safety so that people will know there aren't going to be negative consequences to telling the truth. Any time we penalize someone for telling the truth we increase the changes they won't do it again. In this way we can increase our trust in another person by making ourselves easier to trust.

Recovering from the Illusion of Perfect Trust

Repairing trust is one of the most complex and challenging endeavors we can engage in. At the same time, unless we embark on this task, we can only become progressively more closed to life. From early on, as early as four months into life, it appears that when we repair trust, the relationship is more robust than if the trust was never broken in the first place. This research finding immediately made sense to me. When we repair lost trust, there is less anxiety about losing it again, because we know when we can recover. This, in effect, creates more trust.

And yet we all know the longing for the perfect relationship, for the perfect understanding with another person where there would never be conflict or issue, never a tear shed, never any pain or discomfort. I recognize this longing, still, after decades of living on the planet, after knowing it's an illusion, after knowing the joys of repairing trust.

Each time, freshly, takes determination, the willingness to let go, again, of the illusion. It's especially challenging the first time conflict arises with a new person, when I experience a fall from that temporary heaven that repeats the illusion: maybe this person, this time, will be the exception?

Once again I mobilize to meet life with an open heart, despite the pain, the challenge. Once again I accept the invitation. Sometimes it's as simple as remembering that when trust is lost I want to aim for "yes" in any way I can, because "yes" builds rapport. Instead of asking the person: "Do you trust me?" - a question that requires them to say "no" - I say: "I sense that perhaps you have lost your trust in me. Is that true?" This question invites a "yes", which makes at least the acknowledgment of the loss of trust that much easier. Acknowledgment, of any kind, reduces the barrier. We can get one small step closer. The journey without a map begins.

Some other times, the task is much larger. Certain forms of mistrust, especially intense anger and hostility, are still more demanding than my own heart's capacity can contain, and I contract in response. That is, I know, my own loss. It is not about the other person, who they are, what they do or don't do, what their qualities are. It's about my own heart's capacity to love the person who mistrusts me. Whenever I can rise to the occasion, I am that much closer to the experience of heaven that comes from knowing that living in trust is a choice. May I find my strength to do so.

Miki Kashtan, Ph.D. , is a co-founder of Bay Area Nonviolent Communication and serves as its lead facilitator and trainer.

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Risk of ‘genetic discrimination’ by insurance companies is ruining people’s trust in vital medical science

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Brad Elphinstone received funding from a Medical Research Future Fund grant.

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Should you be denied life insurance or have to pay extra if you have a genetic risk for certain diseases? Should insurance companies even have access to your genetic data in the first place? This is known as “genetic discrimination”, a practice already banned in some countries, including Canada .

The Australian Treasury is currently working on a review of the relevant legislation, with insurance industry bodies arguing a total ban would raise life insurance bills.

But this legislation doesn’t just have implications for genetic discrimination. Genetic testing underpins vital branches of medical science. Our research shows the question of who can assess a person’s genomic data directly influences public trust in future genomic research in Australia.

What is genomic research?

Human genomic research holds promise for the development of cures and treatments for cancers and heritable diseases. To achieve this, researchers rely on people willingly donating their genomic data. This is your DNA code derived from something like a blood sample. Genomic data is particularly useful when linked with lifestyle – diet, exercise, habits – and health records.

If researchers have access to this data from thousands of people, they can look for patterns to see if certain genes might be linked to certain illnesses or diseases. Treatments or cures can then be developed to target the gene or genes involved.

To assist with making genomic research viable and accessible for researchers, national-level biobanks exist, such as in the United Kingdom . These biobanks can store data from hundreds of thousands of people.

Australia does not yet have a national biobank, but some researchers in Australia do conduct studies that involve the collection of genomic data.

Can we trust biobanks?

Previous research has found people are generally supportive of genomic research and biobanks. They recognise the potential for new treatments or cures such research can bring.

However, trust in biobanks decreases substantially if there is any commercial involvement in biobank management or research. This poses a problem, as commercial involvement in biobanking is increasingly likely. Running these repositories, conducting research and bringing new treatments to market is expensive.

People who express such distrust often cite concerns that profit will be put ahead of the public good. One common issue is the perceived unfairness of “big pharma” hypothetically making large profits from freely donated genomic data.

Another primary concern, that is often a dealbreaker when it comes to hypothetically donating data, is that data will be sold to insurance companies who will then deny cover or increase premiums.

If people are unwilling to donate to biobanks due to the perceived risk of genetic discrimination from insurance companies, the scope of genomic research may suffer.

People are most trusting of biobanks if they are managed by universities and hospitals, who then also conduct the research. This is because these types of public institutions are not typically seen to be profit driven.

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Would Australians trust a biobank?

Our research explored the required conditions for a trusted Australian national biobank. Specifically, we examined what Australians think about genomic research and sources of distrust. We also examined different legal safeguards that could be implemented to enhance trust and willingness to donate.

We started by surveying a statistically representative sample of 1,000 Australians. We found four groups Australians can be categorised into based on their attitudes towards genomic research:

highly supportive and willing to donate to a national biobank (approximately 23% of the population if you extrapolate from our sample)
supportive and open to donating but wary of commercial involvement (37%)
supportive and open to donating but wary of commercial and governmental involvement (26%)
completely unwilling to donate under any circumstances (14%)

In a follow-up study we interviewed 39 people from these groups. Across the four groups, including those who were willing to donate, there were clear concerns about genetic discrimination from insurers or employers. Concern about corporate profiteering was also widespread. However, respondents maintained a pragmatic view that pharmaceutical companies necessarily need to make some profit.

Based on the interviews, and a third experimental survey, it was clear a national biobank should be managed by a public institution. Additionally, we should have a data access committee comprising relevant experts.

This committee would assess applications from researchers attempting to access the data. For example, data access would be allowed only for researchers from established commercial or public organisations. Additionally, researchers would be compelled to only use data for ethical human health research and make no effort to identify donors.

Overall, Australians generally do support genomic research – they recognise its potential to give us much-needed new medical treatments and even cures.

But this support is undermined if people feel that genetic discrimination is a likely risk for themselves or their blood relatives.

Legislation that reduces this risk targets a main source of distrust that can make people unwilling to donate genomic data. A law preventing genetic discrimination could therefore indirectly benefit genomic research and support for a national biobank, should one exist in the future.

The author would like to acknowledge research collaborators Jarrod Walshe from Swinburne University of Technology, Dianne Nicol from the University of Tasmania and Mark Taylor from the University of Melbourne. The research project was based on a Medical Research Future Fund grant that was awarded to Professor Christine Critchley who sadly passed in 2020.

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Guest Essay

I Was an Attorney at the D.A.’s Office. This Is What the Trump Case Is Really About.

In a black-and-white image, a scene of people gathered outside a courthouse in Manhattan.

By Rebecca Roiphe

Ms. Roiphe is a former assistant district attorney in the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office.

Now that the lawyers are laying out their respective theories of the case in the criminal prosecution of Donald Trump in New York, it would be understandable if people’s heads are spinning. The defense lawyers claimed this is a case about hush money as a legitimate tool in democratic elections, while the prosecutors insisted it is about “a criminal scheme to corrupt the 2016 presidential election.”

Yet this case is not really about election interference, nor is it a politically motivated attempt to criminalize a benign personal deal. Boring as it may sound, it is a case about business integrity.

It’s not surprising that the lawyers on both sides are trying to make this about something sexier. This is a narrative device used to make the jurors and the public side with them, but it has also created confusion. On the one hand, some legal experts claim that the conduct charged in New York was the original election interference. On the other hand, some critics think the criminal case is a witch hunt, and others claim it is trivial at best and at worst the product of selective prosecution.

As someone who worked in the Manhattan district attorney’s office and enforced the laws that Mr. Trump is accused of violating, I stand firmly in neither camp. It is an important and straightforward case, albeit workmanlike and unglamorous. In time, after the smoke created by lawyers has cleared, it will be easy to see why the prosecution is both solid and legitimate.

It would hardly make for a dramatic opening statement or cable news sound bite, but the case is about preventing wealthy people from using their businesses to commit crimes and hide from accountability. Manhattan prosecutors have long considered it their province to ensure the integrity of the financial markets. As Robert Morgenthau, a former Manhattan district attorney, liked to say , “You cannot prosecute crime in the streets without prosecuting crime in the suites.”

Lawmakers in New York, the financial capital of the world, consider access to markets and industry in New York a privilege for businesspeople. It is a felony to abuse that privilege by doctoring records to commit or conceal crimes, even if the businessman never accomplishes the goal and even if the false records never see the light of day. The idea is that an organization’s records should reflect an honest accounting. It is not a crime to make a mistake, but lying is a different story. It is easy to evade accountability by turning a business into a cover, providing a false trail for whichever regulator might care to look. The law ( falsification of business records ) deprives wealthy, powerful businessmen of the ability to do so with impunity, at least when they’re conducting business in the city.

Prosecutors and New York courts have interpreted this law generously, with its general purpose in mind. The element of intent to defraud carries a broad meaning, which is not limited to the intent of cheating someone out of money or property. Further, intent is often proved with circumstantial evidence, as is common in white-collar cases. After presenting evidence, prosecutors ask jurors to use their common sense to infer what the possible intent may be, and New York jurors frequently conclude that a defendant must have gone to the trouble of creating this false paper trail for a reason.

Mr. Trump is accused of creating 11 false invoices, 12 false ledger entries and 11 false checks and check stubs, with the intent to violate federal election laws, state election laws or state tax laws. The number of lies it took to create this false record itself helps prove intent. His defense attorneys will claim that he was merely trying to bury a false story to protect his family from embarrassment. The timing of the payments — immediately after the potentially damaging “Access Hollywood” tape was released and right before the election — makes that claim implausible.

As many have pointed out, Michael Cohen, Mr. Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, is a witness with a remarkable amount of baggage. But as with most business records cases, his testimony will largely add color to the tweets, handwritten notes, bank documents and shell corporations. Documents don’t lie.

More important, jurors are particularly good at applying common sense. Mr. Trump didn’t go to all this trouble just to protect his family members, who might have known about accusations of his involvement with the porn star Stormy Daniels or similar ones. We may never learn which crime the jurors believe Trump was seeking to commit or cover up, but they can still conclude beyond a reasonable doubt that this was his intent.

It is not unusual for lawyers to give narrative arcs to their legal theories, reasons to care about the evidence and animating thoughts that may make jurors more inclined to convict or acquit.

When the jurors deliberate, they will weigh the warring narratives in light of the evidence, and the judge will instruct them in the law. Then the narrative frames should recede into the background. The key is to offer one that is both captivating and closely tied to the facts so that when the jurors put the pieces of evidence together, it is the story they believe.

If one side promises too much, it risks losing the jurors. In their opening remarks, Mr. Trump’s lawyers insisted that he was innocent, that all the witnesses were liars. Such a sweeping theory is a dangerous strategy because if the jurors believe part of the prosecution’s case, just one or two of the witnesses, then the jurors may lose faith in the defense altogether.

For the prosecution, the elements of the crime in this case do not require a finding that Mr. Trump interfered with the 2016 election. Nor does it matter whether he had sex with Ms. Daniels. Instead, the real elements concern the way Mr. Trump used his business for a cover-up. By emphasizing the crime he was intending to conceal rather than the false business records, the prosecution also risks confusing the jury into thinking about whether the lies affected the election. It might lead them to wonder why Mr. Trump wasn’t charged with this alleged election crime by the federal government — a talking point that he has promoted publicly.

Even if the case seems simpler in this light, we are still left with the question: Is it really worth charging a former president for this? While the New York business records law is important, it is no doubt true that the conduct pales in comparison with the effort to overthrow the 2020 election, at issue in the special counsel Jack Smith’s Jan. 6 prosecution of Mr. Trump.

Taking this case on its own terms as a business records case offers a different and arguably more convincing way to defend its legitimacy. It is a simple case that is similar to hundreds of other cases brought in New York. The simplicity and run-of-the-mill nature of the prosecution make it easier to defend against claims of politicization in the following sense: Mr. Trump was a businessman for many years in New York long before he was president. If others would be prosecuted for this conduct and no man is above the law, then he should be, too.

So by all means, listen to the stories that the lawyers tell, soak up the drama of hush-money payments and the alternate universe in which Hillary Clinton won the election. But just as the jurors should ultimately consider the facts and the law, it would be wise for everyone else to focus on what the case is really about.

Rebecca Roiphe, a former assistant district attorney in the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office, is a law professor at New York Law School.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

Follow the New York Times Opinion section on Facebook , Instagram , TikTok , WhatsApp , X and Threads .

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