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Our mission is to heal and elevate lives through proven parenting solutions. We exist to help improve your family relationships and to find the happy family life you hope for.

What is Smarter Parenting?

Children learn so much from their parents, but parenting doesn’t exactly come with a handbook. Parents often need effective resources to help them be successful in becoming teachers to their children. Smarter Parenting takes the techniques used by Behavioral Specialists and Mental Health Professionals and makes those same tools available to parents. On our parenting website you’ll find lessons, resources, and examples that help you navigate practical parenting skills.

Parenting Solutions for Specific Behavior Issues

Learning how to implement the skills for specific problem behaviors can feel overwhelming. These parenting solutions walk you through what to do.

7 Positive Parenting Resources You’ll Want to Check Out

People always say it takes a village to raise a kid, but I’m convinced it takes a village to raise parents, too.

Once those sweet cherubs arrive, it’s really the PARENTS who need the help–the encouragement, the guidance, and the wisdom to become the parents they’ve always wanted to be.

While I’ve dedicated my life to teaching Positive Parenting strategies to thousands of families , I’m also the first to seek out experts on topics outside my wheelhouse. I love sharing resources I know will bring measurable, easy-to-implement relief and long-term support to families in our Positive Parenting Solutions community.

Lucky for all of us, there are a plethora of people and companies who’ve dedicated their time to creating tools, programs, and resources that seamlessly support parents who are trying to implement Positive Parenting strategies in their home.

Here are a few of my favorite resources that complement our Positive Parenting Solutions® course . I’ve divided the list into “Parent-Focused Resources” (you know the drill…put YOUR oxygen mask on first!) and “Kid-Focused Resources.”

Parent-Focused Resources

Comedian Jim Gaffigan once said, “You know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.”

Whether you have one kid or 10, I think every parent can relate to Gaffigan’s sentiment–we feel forever-behind, overwhelmed, and exhausted on the daily.

Yes, I know you’d do anything for your children, but here’s what YOUR kids need most: a healthy, content, in-control, and capable YOU!

I know that notion may feel like a pipe-dream, but it’s exactly why I want you to check out a few of my all-time favorite parent-centered resources that will help YOU get your life organized and on track.

1. The Step Program

Family organization solution.

Why I love it: I’m obsessed with The STEP Program from Learn Do Become because you’ll learn how to stop drowning in piles of paper, clutter, emails, and to-do lists!   

The STEP Program , from my good friends April and Eric Perry, will give you a step-by-step roadmap (along with ongoing support) to organize your home, office, and life while building a strong family!

How does it support Positive Parenting? Let’s be honest, it can be difficult to get your parenting life in order when your home life feels like constant chaos.  

Instead of daily disorder and chaos, imagine having a well-organized “Command Central”– a place where everything is sorted, and you know exactly what needs to be done and when.  

Imagine freeing up your mental and physical “clutter” so you have the time and energy to be the best positive parent you can be for your kids. That’s exactly what you’ll learn to do in The STEP program .  

As someone who struggles in the organization department (ask my teammates or my husband !) –I can’t recommend this program highly enough!

2. The Balanced Life

Online fitness and health solution.

Why I love it: I love this program because it removes the obstacles for moms who are short on time—and actually equips them to lead a healthy balanced lifestyle. My sweet friend, Robin Long, created a perfectly doable, comprehensive online wellness solution that fits YOUR schedule–with an incredibly supportive online member community called the “Sisterhood.”

In the “Sisterhood,” Robin offers monthly pilates workouts for ALL SKILL LEVELS (ranging from 10-30 minutes),  healthy and family-friendly recipes, and an entire library of searchable pilates workouts. (Plus! A portion of every purchase goes to support children in need.)

The other reason I’m obsessed with this program is because Robin is just SO REAL. She is a mom of four (including twins!) and she gets us! She understands busy moms and she’s tailored the program to work with our lives, not compete with them.

How does it support Positive Parenting?   Let’s be honest, even though you KNOW your health is important–family life happens. And on queue, your health needs get sent to the sideline while you give every bit of mental and physical energy to take care of everyone else. You wait for a “less busy season” so you can “get back on track”–but that time never comes.

Even in the busiest seasons of your life, The Balanced Life is the perfect safe-zone to get back on track so YOU can be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself–and be the loving, patient, positive parent to the people you love most!  

Kid-Focused Resources

Now that parents have the resources to become the best versions of themselves, here are a few of my favorite kid-focused resources. These courses and programs are designed to address specific parenting struggles, and I look to these instructors for wisdom in each of these areas!

3. Kids Cook Real Food

Kids’ cooking solution.

Why I love it: While the entire Kitchen Stewardship website is a goldmine when it comes to healthy living, let me draw your attention to their Kids Cook Real Food Online Course . This, my friends, is for any parent who’s ever wondered, “Is it worth letting them ‘help’ if they leave eggshells in the bowl and splatter spaghetti sauce all over the walls when they are manning the whisk?”

I get it. It often feels MORE difficult to invite kiddos into the kitchen when you’re just trying to get dinner on the table. But have no fear, Katie Kimball leads you step-by-step through a comprehensive cooking course that will teach your child (and YOURSELF) how to cook safely in the kitchen. With suggestions for kids of all ages–toddlers to teens–you’ll give your children life-long culinary skills that will benefit them (and any future spouse) for years to come!

How does it support Positive Parenting? Equipping children to do tasks around the house will have life-long benefits as your kids grow into adults. With each new skill they learn in the kitchen, they’ll feel more confident and independent–which is what Positive Parenting is all about!

Kids of all ages love to help around the kitchen–I mean, what kid DOESN’T want to wield a knife? Unfortunately, parents often turn away assistance from younger children and then get upset when their teenager no longer wants to contribute.

If the long-term goal is to have a teenager who helps around the house and in the kitchen, we need to steward and encourage the “help” from our littles–even if it does take a little training and a few tries to get it right!

4. Oh Crap! Potty Training Course

Potty training solution.

Why I love it: It’s simple and specific. My friend, Jamie Glowacki, is my absolute favorite person to potty talk with. She is truly an expert in the potty training arena and has helped THOUSANDS of parents tackle this potentially treacherous season.

The Oh Crap! Potty Training Course is filled with action-packed strategies and step-by-step instructions to guide parents through the dreaded potty training days.

How does it support Positive Parenting? Jamie’s method is fast, effective and gentle. She equips parents with the tools they need so potty training doesn’t turn into a power struggle. Her method isn’t punitive or rewards-based making it the PERFECT complement for any Positive Parenting Journey.

Positive Parenting Solutions members will  recognize Jamie from our Potty Training 101 advanced module!

5. The Birds and the Bees Solutions Center

Positive sex education solution.

Why I love it: It’s the conversation so many parents DREAD having–you want to teach your kids about the birds and the bees but aren’t sure how to do it in an age-appropriate way. You know it’s important to talk about their private parts, but how do you do it in a less awkward way?

I love Amy Lang’s courses because she gives parents actionable steps and SCRIPTS to engage in healthy conversations about body parts and sex in a way that supports YOUR family values. No need to worry about “what” to say, Amy gives you everything you need!

Plus! She has course offerings for Preschoolers to Teens!

How does it support Positive Parenting? First, Amy Lang is a certified Positive Discipline instructor so her strategies most definitely align with Positive Parenting strategies .

Her courses focus on maintaining open communication with your children and having honest conversations about bodies and sex so your children will view you as a trusted and valued resource on the topic–and so they’ll feel comfortable coming to you when they have questions.

Plus! Amy takes the guesswork out of tackling the conversations which is a win-win for everyone!

Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Amy from the Talking to Kids About Sex In a Way that Supports Your Family Values advanced module in the online course !

Child Anxiety Solutions

Why I love it: My friend, Renee Jain, created GoZen for kids ages 4-15-ish who struggle with high stress and anxiety. I love this program because kids learn by watching animated cartoons– really !

Kids watch engaging, entertaining cartoons to learn skills of resilience and well-being. In addition, imaginative games, workbooks, and quizzes enrich their learning. GoZen also has programs to teach resilience skills to kids who struggle with OCD, panic attacks, negative thoughts, and more.

How does it support Positive Parenting? The underlying goal of Positive Parenting is to meet the emotional needs of our children FIRST. While all humans have the same hardwired needs for belonging and significance, some children have additional emotional needs that must be addressed for Positive Parenting strategies to work effectively.

For children who experience high levels of anxiety and stress in particular situations, it’s critical for them to learn the skills to recognize those feelings and work through them so they can be the best versions of themselves. GoZen has the resources you need to address any deeper emotional needs to ensure Positive Parenting works effectively for your child.

Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Renee in the Help for the Anxious Child advanced module in the online course!

7. The Social Institute

Social media training for kids solution.

Why I love it: Social media expert and 4 time Duke All-American athlete, Laura Tierney designed The Social Institute to help kids WIN at social media. The Social Institute takes a kid-centered approach to social media by empowering children to take control of their online presence.

Through games, interactives, and group instruction, The Social Institute is bringing parents, students, and teachers the most revolutionary social media curriculum.

How does it support Positive Parenting? One of the primary goals of Positive Parenting is to raise responsible, capable, and independent children . While it may seem easier (and sometimes necessary) to simply forbid all social media from your home or block particular websites, The Social Institute TEACHES children how to use social media responsibly.

By equipping kids with the appropriate tools and wisdom to use social media responsibly, parents no longer have to worry about limiting access altogether. Plus, when children feel a sense of power and control over their lives, they are more resilient, respectful and less likely to act out.

Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Laura from the Social Media Training for Kids advanced module.

Final Thoughts

While there are many incredible tools, courses, and resources on the market to support a Positive Parenting journey, it’s imperative parents are also equipped with a toolbox of Positive Parenting discipline strategies.

Our comprehensive online parenting course is designed for toddlers to teens because we know parents need a life-long, foolproof roadmap to handle the biggest power struggles. I know firsthand because I’ve been there–and so have thousands of other families.

If you’d like to learn more discipline strategies that ACTUALLY work, I’d be honored if you’d JOIN ME FOR A FREE ONLINE CLASS . 

In it, I’ll teach you how to get your kids to listen–no nagging, reminding or yelling required!

As always, we wish you all the best in your parenting journey and are here if you need anything.

Title image: Prakapenka Alena/Shutterstock https://www.shutterstock.com/photos

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Register for my free class called How to Get Kids to Listen, Without Nagging, Yelling or Losing Control . Classes run several times per week to accommodate your busy schedule.

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Improve these 12 parenting skills and watch your kids thrive

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12 parenting skills to improve

8 ways to improve parenting skills, be the best parent you can be.

Parenting is a whirlwind.

No matter what kind of parent you are, raising kids is just as challenging as it is rewarding. Bringing up a child who’s kind, confident, and strong enough to face the world takes work — and much of that work comes from you. 

As a parent, you’re your child’s first role model. Kids observe everything and learn their first lessons about the world and how they should behave from you. Many parents recognize this and strive to use a parenting style that teaches their children without disrespecting them.

Investing in your parenting skills helps you and your children grow together. Here are a few qualities you can model to help your kids become the emotionally intelligent , well-rounded people you want them to be. 

Learning how to be a better parent is a top priority for moms, dads, and caregivers worldwide. But resources are lacking. Research from ZERO TO THREE, a non-profit studying early childhood, shows that 54% of parents want more information about raising kids . 

There’s also a growing push among parents to approach the process differently from their upbringing. According to a report from the Pew Research Center, nearly half of parents say they aim to raise their kids differently than their parents did . And the movement toward gentle or mindful parenting in recent years asks parents to notice how they interact with their children and always respond with respect and positivity. 

Needless to say, parenting is complex. But whether you’re a gentle parent or follow a different leadership style, you can work to become a better parent by honing the following skills. 

1. Communication

Being a parent involves constant communication. In the toddler days, that communication might look like, “Don’t touch that!” or “Don’t eat that!” And when your kids get older, those common phrases might become, “Be home by 9!” and “Make good choices!”

Regardless of how old your kids are, developing strong communication skills early on will make the parenthood road easier and more effective. Use age-appropriate language that approaches instruction with fairness and an open mind. It’s not always easy to respond to behavior with calm , clear language, but a positive relationship starts with communication.

2. Active listening

Many children love to talk. They want to tell you about their toys, the bug they saw at the park, and a million other thoughts that enter their growing minds. 

As a parent, these early years are a perfect time to practice active listening and show your kids you care about what they have to say. And the more you practice this skill, you’ll teach your kids they can come to you with anything — which is especially important as they get older and have bigger problems. 

As an adult, it’s easy to forget the challenges of being a child. And when they don’t listen to your instruction or start throwing a tantrum, frustration grows. 

But children’s brains continue to develop until their mid-to-late 20s , so they don’t always have the ability to do what you ask. Additionally, they don’t finish forming the part of their brain responsible for emotional regulation until they’re eight or nine . Approaching children with empathy and compassion allows their minds to develop without extra pressure or confusion. 

4. Education

As a parent, you’re likely your child’s first teacher. You teach them to eat, walk, and talk long before they enter formal education. And even when kids start school, you still teach them by helping with homework and encouraging positive behaviors . 

Studying different education and coaching skills can help you find the best method for teaching your kids and helping them start their academic careers. It’s also a good practice to research learning styles and discover which one suits your child. That way, you can give them the specific tools they need to succeed.

5. Giving praise

Research shows that parental praise builds resilience and self-esteem . In fact, vague praise like a thumbs-up is actually more beneficial than specific praise because it doesn’t link a child’s good work to a trait like intelligence. Ambiguous praise brings less pressure and gives kids more space to improve. 

As a parent, you should strive to be your child’s cheerleader, showering them with compliments and helping them develop self-love . But it’s also important to do so thoughtfully and intentionally so they have room to grow and don’t feel pressure to perform.

6. Conflict resolution

A child’s world has more conflict than you might think, from parental rules to playground spats. If you want your kid to navigate childhood — and adulthood — successfully, they should understand the basics of conflict resolution . 

Teach them this vital skill by talking them through disagreements with others, like you or their siblings, and by modeling effective conflict resolution in your own life. Kids are sponges, and showing them how to behave is often more effective than telling them.

Learning how to be a good parent usually starts with keeping your little one safe. You babyproof the house, learn how to hold them properly, and watch them like a hawk to make sure they’re doing well and out of harm’s way. This is a critical part of good parenting, but how can you be sure your child will stay safe when you’re not around? 

Brushing up on your safety basics and teaching them to your child can go a long way toward putting your mind at ease, especially if you’re a working parent . Show them how to communicate when they’re hurt and find a trusted adult in any situation. It’s difficult to think of worst-case scenarios, but prepping your child helps prevent them. 

8. Autonomy and independence

Effective parenting isn’t just about your role in your family’s happiness and health. Your children should also learn how to be independent and strong so they know how to navigate the “real world” when they become adults. 

Start by giving them responsibilities within your family. Young children can do simple tasks like picking up their toys or feeding family pets. And as you explore the world together, like taking the subway or going to the movies, explain the actions you’re taking so they understand what to do when they’re independent. 

9. Cooperation

Teamwork is a vital life skill that everyone needs to learn — especially if you want your child to work well with others at school and even in an office. One of the best ways for kids to learn teamwork skills is to start practicing them with you. 

Work together to complete household projects, schoolwork, and more to teach them what healthy collaboration and cooperation looks like. Couple your efforts with positive reinforcement, and you’ll watch your kids become expert team players in no time. 

10. Stress management

Children’s mental health has worsened since 2020, so much so that the American Academy of Pediatrics has deemed it a national crisis . With this in mind, some of the most important advice for parents is to teach kids how to healthily manage stress and communicate their feelings . 

Social media , bullying, and more significantly strain today’s children. They can handle it effectively, and become stronger, if they have some great stress management techniques in their emotional toolkits. And it sets the tone for their future emotional regulation skills.

11. Life skills

No list of tips on parenting would is complete without the obvious: teach your kids practical life skills . They’ll eventually leave home and live on their own, and when they do, they’ll need to know how to do their laundry, cook their meals, and do all the other tasks that are part of daily living.

It’s also essential to help your kids develop problem-solving strategies and other soft skills they’ll need for success in the adult world.

12. Patience

It’s nearly impossible to overstate the importance of patience in life . People need patience to get through everything from waiting at their local coffee shop to getting a test result from the doctor. Teach your children to be patient when they’re young, and show patience when you interact with them. It’s a skill that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

The skills above can help your kids live happy, healthy, and successful lives — but the learning has to start with you. By managing your emotions and behavior with conscious parenting , you’ll model healthy skill development and encourage your kids to be their best selves . 

Here’s some parental advice to help you (and your kids) gain these valuable skills:

1. Boost self-esteem 

Invest time in building your child’s self-esteem. Kids today have plenty of voices ready to tear them down, from societal beauty standards to bullies online. Make sure your children know that you’re their biggest fan and their constant supporter — and that, most importantly, they should stop comparing themselves to others . 

Model great self-esteem by boosting your own and avoiding negative self-talk . Before long, everyone in your home will feel better about themselves.

2. Recognize the good in your kids

Every kid misbehaves sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they intend to. Remember, a child’s brain doesn’t develop all at once. Emotional regulation takes time, as does understanding right and wrong. 

Giving your kids a time-out when they shout, hit, or throw toys might help change the child’s behavior at the moment, but take a moment to reflect and understand why they made that choice. In most cases, your child tries their best to be good.

3. Set limits

It’s natural to give kids limits to keep them safe. Parental guidelines keep them away from electrical outlets, foods they’re allergic to, and much more. But setting boundaries with your child doesn’t have to stop with telling them what not to do. 

Setting boundaries for yourself is also good practice. In fact, learning how to say no to your kids when you’re busy or tired teaches them patience and how to advocate for their needs.

4. Spend quality time with your kids

Spending quality time with your family with a game night, a weekend excursion, or a walk around the neighborhood helps kids practice social skills and build healthy relationships with their parents, siblings, and other relatives. If you and the rest of your family are tired, a quiet movie night does the trick too.

5. Communicate openly

Good parenting skills start with good communication. The more you talk to your children, the more likely they will be to talk to you. 

Keep an open dialogue with your kids about family dynamics, responsibilities, and their place in the world. When they ask questions , give them eye contact and answer as best you can, keeping their developmental level and your availability in mind. It sets the tone for communication in all parts of their lives.

6. Be flexible and open-minded

There’s one thing you can predict about raising kids: it’s unpredictable. Kids might get sick, feel overtired, or tell you they need help with a huge science project the night before it’s due. 

As a parent, your job is to remain flexible and ready to help your kids manage the situation as best they can. Sometimes, this means skipping a playdate to take a nap.

Other times, it means helping them learn effective project management and the consequences of procrastination . But as long as you approach the situation with a growth mindset and a willingness to help your child grow, you can handle anything.

7. Regulate your emotions

It’s important to teach your kids life skills, but it’s equally important to be a good role model and practice these skills in your life, too. Children watch everything, and if your parenting philosophy is “Do as I say, not as I do,” they will notice. 

Children mimic their parents from a young age , so show them how to behave. Practice using self-control and techniques like deep breathing or meditation to manage your emotions healthily, and your children will be more inclined to do the same. 

8. Offer unconditional love

Your child needs food, entertainment, and more on a day-to-day basis. But one thing your child needs most of all is your love. That’s why the most important parenting tip is to ensure your child knows that you love them all the time: bad or good behavior, happy or sad, winner or loser. If you’re a constant source of love and support, your kids will walk through the world a little bit bolder. 

Learning parenting skills isn’t easy, and there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. But trying is the best place to start. If you put in the effort to learn how to better yourself — through journaling, parent coaching , or any other technique — your whole family will see benefits that last for generations.

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Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

What’s positive parenting? 10 tips for navigating parenthood

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What is Positive Parenting? 33 Examples and Benefits

And while most of us strive to be great parents, we may also find ourselves confused and frustrated by the seemingly endless challenges of parenthood.

As both parents of toddlers and teenagers can attest, such challenges are evident across all developmental stages.

But there is good news— numerous research-supported tools and strategies are now available for parents. These resources provide a wealth of information for common parenting challenges (i.e., bedtime issues, picky eating, tantrums, behavior problems, risk-taking, etc.); as well as the various learning lessons that are simply part of growing up (i.e., starting school, being respectful, making friends, being responsible, making good choices, etc.).

With its focus on happiness, resilience and positive youth development ; the field of positive psychology is particularly pertinent to discussions of effective parenting. Thus, whether you are a parent who’s trying to dodge potential problems; or you are already pulling your hair out— you’ve come to the right place.

This article provides a highly comprehensive compilation of evidence-based positive parenting techniques. These ideas and strategies will cover a range of developmental periods, challenges, and situations. More specifically, drawing from a rich and robust collection of research, we will address exactly what positive parenting means; its many benefits; when and how to use it; and its usefulness for specific issues and age-groups.

This article also contains many useful examples, positive parenting tips, activities, programs, videos, books , podcasts – and so much more. By learning from and applying these positive parenting resources; parents will become the kind of parents they’ve always wanted to be: Confident, Optimistic, and even Joyful.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Parenting Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify opportunities to implement positive parenting practices and support healthy child development.

This Article Contains:

What is positive parenting, a look at the research, how can it encourage personal development and self growth in a child, how old must the child be, what are the benefits, 12 examples of positive parenting in action, positive parenting styles, a look at positive discipline, positive parenting with toddlers and preschoolers, how to best address sibling rivalry, positive parenting with teenagers, positive parenting through divorce, a take-home message.

Before providing a definition of positive parenting, let’s take a step back and consider what we mean by “parents.” While a great deal of parenting research has focused on the role of mothers; children’s psychosocial well-being is influenced by all individuals involved in their upbringing.

Such caregivers might include biological and adoptive parents, foster parents, single parents, step-parents, older siblings, and other relatives and non-relatives who play a meaningful role in a child’s life. In other words, the term “parent” applies to an array of individuals whose presence impacts the health and well-being of children (Juffer, Bakermans-Kranenburg & van Ijzendoorn, 2008).

Thus, any time the terms “parent” or “caregiver” are used herein; they apply to any individuals who share a consistent relationship with a child, as well as an interest in his/her well-being (Seay, Freysteinson & McFarlane, 2014).

Fortunately, parenting research has moved away from a deficit or risk factor model towards a more positive focus on predictors of positive outcomes (e.g., protective factors ). Positive parenting exemplifies this approach by seeking to promote the parenting behaviors that are most essential for fostering positive youth development (Rodrigo, Almeida, Spiel, & Koops, 2012).

Several researchers have proposed definitions of positive parenting, such as Seay and colleagues (2014), who reviewed 120 pertinent articles. They came up with the following universal definition:

Positive parenting is the continual relationship of a parent(s) and a child or children that includes caring, teaching, leading, communicating, and providing for the needs of a child consistently and unconditionally.

(Seay et al., 2014, p. 207).

The Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe (2006) similarly defined positive parenting as “ … nurturing, empowering, nonviolent… ” and which “ provides recognition and guidance which involves setting of boundaries to enable the full development of the child ’’ (in Rodrigo et al., 2012, p. 4). These definitions, combined with the positive parenting literature, suggest the following about positive parenting:

• It involves Guiding
• It involves Leading
• It involves Teaching
• It is Caring
• It is Empowering
• It is Nurturing
• It is Sensitive to the Child’s Needs
• It is Consistent
• It is Always Non-violent
• It provides Regular Open Communication
• It provides Affection
• It provides Emotional Security
• It provides Emotional Warmth
• It provides Unconditional Love
• It recognizes the Positive
• It respects the Child’s Developmental Stage
• It rewards Accomplishments
• It sets Boundaries
• It shows Empathy for the Child’s Feelings
• It supports the Child’s Best Interests

Along with these qualities, Godfrey (2019) proposes that the underlying assumption of positive parenting is that “… all children are born good, are altruistic and desire to do the right thing …” (positiveparenting.com).

Godfrey further adds that the objective of positive parenting is to teach discipline in a way that builds a child’s self-esteem and supports a mutually respectful parent-child relationship without breaking the child’s spirit (2019). These authors reveal an overall picture of positive parenting as warm, thoughtful and loving— but not permissive.

There is plenty of research supporting the short- and long-term effects of positive parenting on adaptive child outcomes. To begin with, work by the Positive Parenting Research Team ( PPRT ) from the University of Southern Mississippi (Nicholson, 2019) is involved in various studies aimed at examining the impact of positive parenting.

• The following are included among the team’s research topics:
• Relationships between positive parenting and academic success;
• Positive parenting as a predictor of protective behavioral strategies;
• Parenting style and emotional health; maternal hardiness, coping and social support in parents of chronically ill children, etc.

The PPRT ultimately seeks to promote positive parenting behaviors within families.

In their seven-year longitudinal study; Pettit, Bates and Dodge (1997) examined the influence of supportive parenting among parents of pre-kindergartners. Supportive parenting was defined as involving mother‐to‐child warmth, proactive teaching, inductive discipline, and positive involvement. Researchers contrasted this parenting approach with a less supportive, more harsh parenting style.

Supportive parenting was associated with more positive school adjustment and fewer behavior problems when the children were in sixth grade. Moreover, supportive parenting actually mitigated the negative impact of familial risk factors (i.e., socioeconomic disadvantage, family stress, and single parenthood) on children’s subsequent behavioral problems (Pettit et al., 2006).

Researchers at the Gottman Institute also investigated the impact of positive parenting by developing a 5-step ‘emotion coaching’ program designed to build children’s confidence and to promote healthy intellectual and psychosocial growth.

Gottman’s five steps for parents include:

• awareness of emotions;
• connecting with your child;
• listening to your child;
• naming emotions; and
• finding solutions (Gottman, 2019).

Gottman has reported that children of “emotional coaches” benefit from a more a positive developmental trajectory relative to kids without emotional coaches. Moreover, an evaluation of emotional coaching by Bath Spa University found several positive outcomes for families trained in emotional coachings, such as parental reports of a 79% improvement in children’s positive behaviors and well-being (Bath Spa University, 2016).

Overall, research has indicated that positive parenting is related to various aspects of healthy child development (many more examples of evidence supporting the benefits are positive parenting are described further in this article). Such outcomes are neither fleeting nor temporary; and will continue well beyond childhood.

Another way of thinking about the role of positive parenting is in terms of resilience. When children—including those who begin life with significant disadvantages— experience positive and supportive parenting, they are far more likely to thrive.

It is in this way that positive parenting minimizes health and opportunity disparities by armoring children with large stores of emotional resilience (Brooks, 2005; Brooks & Goldstein, 2001). And since we know positive parenting works; what parent wouldn’t want to learn how to use it and thereby give his/her child the best shot at a healthy and happy life?

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There are various mechanisms through which positive parenting promotes a child’s prosocial development.

For example, Eisenberg, Zhou, and Spinrad et al. (2005) suggest that positive parenting impacts children’s temperament by enhancing emotion regulation (e.g., “effortful control” enabling children to focus attention in a way that promotes emotion modulation and expression).

The authors reported a significant link between parental warmth and positive expressivity on children’s long-term emotion regulation. This ability to use effortful control was found to predict reduced externalizing problems years later when children were adolescents (Eisenbert et al., 2005).

Along with emotion regulation, there are many other ways in which positive parenting encourages a child’s positive development and self-growth.

Here are some examples:

• Teaching and leading promote children’s confidence and provides them with the tools needed to make good choices.
• Positive communication promotes children’s social and problem-solving skills while enhancing relationship quality with caregivers and peers.
• Warm and democratic parenting enhances children’s self-esteem and confidence.
• Parental supervision promotes prosocial peer bonding and positive youth outcomes.
• Autonomy-promoting parenting supports creativity, empowerment, and self-determination.
• Supportive and optimistic parenting fosters children’s belief in themselves and the future.
• Providing recognition for desirable behaviors increases children’s self-efficacy and the likelihood of engaging in prosocial, healthy behaviors.
• Providing boundaries and consequences teaches children accountability and responsibility.

Generally speaking, there are many aspects of positive parenting that nurture children’s self-esteem; creativity; belief in the future; ability to get along with others; and sense of mastery over their environment.

Warm, loving and supportive parents feed a child’s inner spirit while empowering him/her with the knowledge and tools necessary to approach life as a fully capable individual.

5 Expert tips no parent should miss – Goalcast

The need for positive parenting begins – well, at the beginning. The attachment literature has consistently indicated that babies under one year of age benefit from positive parenting. More specifically, a secure attachment between infants and mothers is related to numerous positive developmental outcomes (i.e., self-esteem, trust, social competence, etc.; Juffer, Bakermans-Kranenburg & van Ijzendoorn, 2008).

The quality of the mother-child attachment is believed to be a function of parental sensitivity (e.g., mothers who accurately perceive and quickly respond to their babies’ needs; Juffer et al., 2008)— which is certainly a key indicator of positive parenting practices in their earliest form.

Not only is a secure mother-child attachment related to early positive developmental outcomes, but more recent attachment research also indicates long-term increases in social self-efficacy among girls with secure attachments to their fathers (Coleman, 2003).

There are even ways in which positive parenting benefits a child or family as soon as the parents learn of a pregnancy or adoption (i.e., see the subsequent ‘sibling rivalry’ section). Therefore, it cannot be stressed enough: Positive parenting begins as early as possible.

There is empirical evidence for numerous benefits of positive parenting, which cover all developmental stages from infancy to late adolescence. The following table provides a list of many such examples:

The evidence clearly supports a relationship between positive parenting approaches and a large variety of prosocial parent and child outcomes. Therefore, practitioners have developed and implemented a range of programs aimed at promoting positive parenting practices.

Here are some noteworthy examples; including those which target specific risk factors, as well as those with a more preventative focus:

• Parent’s Circle program (Pearson & Anderson, 2001): Recognizing that positive parenting begins EARLY, this program helped parents of infants in the neonatal intensive care unit to enhance their parenting skills in order to better parent their fragile newborns.
• The Home Visiting Program (Ammaniti, Speranza, & Tambelli, et al., 2006): Also focused on babies, this program aimed to increase parental sensitivity in order to improve secure mother-infant attachments. In doing so, psychologists visited high-risk mothers at their homes in order to improve parental sensitivity to their infants’ signals.
• The Early Head Start Home-based Program (Roggman, Boyce, & Cook, 2009): This home-based program also focused on promoting parent-child attachment. Parents in semirural areas received weekly home-based visits from a family educator who taught them positive strategies aimed at promoting healthy parent-child interactions and engagement in children’s activities.
• American Psychological Association’s ACT Raising Safe Kids (RSK) program (Knox, Burkhard, & Cromly, 2013): The goal of this program was to improve parents’ positive parenting knowledge and skills by teaching nonviolent discipline, anger management, social problem‐solving skills, and other techniques intended to protect children from aggression and violence.
• New Beginnings Program (Wolchik, Sandler, Weiss, & Winslow, 2007): This empirically-based 10-session program was designed to teach positive parenting skills to families experiencing divorce or separation. Parents learned how to nurture positive and warm relationships with kids, use effective discipline, and protect their children from divorce-related conflict. The underlying goal of the New Beginnings Program was to promote child resilience during this difficult time.
• Family Bereavement Program (Sandler, Wolchik, Ayers, Tein, & Luecken, 2013): This intervention was aimed at promoting resilience in parents and children experiencing extreme adversity: The death of a parent. This 10-meeting supportive group environment helped bereaved parents learn a number of resilience-promoting parenting skills (i.e., active listening, using effective rules, supporting children’s coping, strengthening family bonds, and using adequate self-care).
• The Positive Parent (Suárez, Rodríguez, & López, 2016): This Spanish online program was aimed at enhancing positive parenting by helping parents to learn about child development and alternative child-rearing techniques; to become more aware, creative and independent in terms of parenting practices; to establish supportive connections with other parents; and to feel more competent and satisfied with their parenting.
• Healthy Families Alaska Programs (Calderaa, Burrellb, & Rodriguez, 2007): The objective of this home visiting program was to promote positive parenting and healthy child development outcomes in Alaska. Paraprofessionals worked with parents to improve positive parenting attitudes, parent-child interactions, child development knowledge, and home environment quality.
• The Strengthening Families Program (Kumpfer & Alvarado, 1998): This primary prevention program has been widely used to teach parents a large array of positive parenting practices. Following family systems and cognitive-behavioral philosophies, the program has taught parenting skills such as engagement in positive interactions with children, positive communication, effective discipline, rewarding positive behaviors, and the use of family meetings to promote organization. The program’s overall goal was to enhance child and family protective factors; to promote children’s resilience, and to improve children’s social and life skills.
• Incredible Years Program (Webster-Stratton& Reid, 2013): This program refers to a widely implemented and evaluated group-based intervention designed to reduce emotional problems and aggression among children, and to improve their social and emotional competence. Parent groups received 12-20 weekly group sessions focused on nurturing relationships, using positive discipline, promoting school readiness and academic skills, reducing conduct problems, and increasing other aspects of children’s healthy psychosocial development. This program has also been used for children with ADHD.
• Evidence-based Positive Parenting Programs Implemented in Spain (Ministers of the Council of Europe, in Rodrigo et al., 2012): In a special issue of Psychosocial Intervention, multiple evaluation studies of positive parenting programs delivered across Spain are presented. Among the programs included are those delivered in groups, at home, and online; each of which is aimed at positive parenting support services. This issue provides an informative resource for understanding which parents most benefited from various types of evidence-based programs aimed at promoting positive parenting among parents attending family support services.
• Triple P Positive Parenting Program (Sanders, 2008): This program, which will be described in more detail in a subsequent post, is a highly comprehensive parenting program with the objective of providing parents of high-risk children with the knowledge, confidence, and skills needed to promote healthy psychological health and adjustment in their children. While these programs are multifaceted, an overarching focus of the Triple P programs is to improve children’s self-regulation.

A reoccurring theme in the positive parenting literature is that a warm, yet firm parenting style is linked to numerous positive youth outcomes. This style is termed ‘authoritative’ and it is conceptualized as a parenting approach that includes a good balance of the following parenting qualities: assertive, but not intrusive; demanding, but responsive; supportive in terms of discipline, but not punitive (Baumrind, 1991).

Along with an authoritative parenting style, a developmental parenting style is also believed to support positive child outcomes (Roggman et al., 2008).

Developmental parenting is a positive parenting style that promotes positive child development by providing affection (i.e., through positive expressions of warmth toward the child); responsiveness (i.e., by attending to a child’s cues); encouragement (i.e., by supporting a child’s capabilities and interests); and teaching (i.e., by using play and conversation to support a child’s cognitive development (Roggman & Innocenti, 2009).

Developmental parenting clearly shares several commonalities with authoritative parenting, and both represent positive parenting approaches.

Overall, by taking a good look at positive parenting strategies that work for raising healthy, happy kids; it is evident that positive parenting styles encourage a child’s autonomy by:

• Supporting exploration and involvement in decision-making
• Paying attention and responding to a child’s needs
• Using effective communication
• Attending to a child’s emotional expression and control
• Rewarding and encouraging positive behaviors
• Providing clear rules and expectations
• Applying consistent consequences for behaviors
• Providing adequate supervision and monitoring
• Acting as a positive role model
• Making positive family experiences a priority

In a nutshell, positive parents support a child’s healthy growth and inner spirit by being loving, supportive, firm, consistent, and involved. Such parents go beyond communicating their expectations, but practice what they preach by being positive role models for their children to emulate.

4 Things you must say to your kids daily – Live on Purpose TV

The term ‘discipline’ often has a negative, purely punitive connotation. However, ‘discipline’ is actually defined as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character” (Merriam-Webster, 2019).

This definition is instructive, as it reminds us that as parents, we are not disciplinarians, but rather teachers. And as our children’s teachers, our goal is to respectfully show them choices for behaviors and to positively reinforce adaptive behaviors.

Positive discipline again harkens back to authoritative parenting because it should be administered in a way that is firm and loving at the same time. Importantly, positive discipline is never violent, aggressive or critical; it is not punitive.

Relevant: Examples of Positive Punishment & Negative Reinforcement

Physical punishment (i.e., spanking) is ineffective for changing behaviors in the long-term and has a number of detrimental consequences on children (Gershoff, 2013). Indeed, the objective of positive discipline is to “teach and train. Punishment (inflicting pain/purposeful injury) is unnecessary and counter-productive” (Kersey, 2006, p. 1).

Nelsen (2006) describes a sense of belonging as a primary goal of all people; a goal that is not achieved through punishment. In fact, she describes the four negative consequences of punishment on children (e.g., “the four R’s”) as resentment toward parents; revenge that may be plotted in order to get back at parents; rebellion against parents, such as through even more excessive behaviors; and retreat, that may involve becoming sneaky and/or experiencing a loss of self-esteem (Nelsen, 2006).

She provides the following five criteria for positive discipline (which are available on her positive discipline website ):

• Is both kind and firm
• Promotes a child’s sense of belonging and significance
• Works long-term (note: punishment may have an immediate impact, but this is short-lived)
• Teaches valuable social and life skills (i.e., problem-solving, social skills, self-soothing, etc.)
• Helps children develop a sense that they are capable individuals

In her comprehensive and helpful book for parents: Positive Discipline , Nelsen (2006) also describes a number of key aspects of positive discipline, such as being non-violent, respectful, and grounded in developmental principles; teaching children self-respect, empathy, and self-efficacy; and promoting a positive relationship between parent and child.

Stated another way, “ respecting children teaches them that even the smallest, most powerless, most vulnerable person deserves respect, and that is a lesson our world desperately needs to learn ” (LR Knost, lovelivegrow.com).

Since we know that positive discipline does not involve the use of punishment; the next obvious questions become “Just what exactly does it involve?”

This question is undoubtedly urgent for parents who feel like their child is working diligently toward driving them mad. While we will discuss some of the more typical frustrations that parents regularly encounter later in the article, Kersey (2006) provides parents with a wonderful and comprehensive resource in her publication entitled “101 positive principles of discipline.”

Here are her top ten principles:

• Demonstrate Respect Principle : Treat the child in the same respectful way you would like to be treated.
• Make a Big Deal Principle : Use positive reinforcement in meaningful ways for desired behaviors. Reward such behaviors with praise, affection, appreciation, privileges, etc.
• Incompatible Alternative Principle : Provide the child with a behavior to substitute for the undesirable one, such as playing a game rather than watching tv.
• Choice Principle : Provide the child with two choices for positive behaviors so that he/she feels a sense of empowerment. For example, you might say “would you rather take your bath before or after your brush your teeth?”
• When/Then – Abuse it/Lose it Principle : Ensure that rewards are lost when rules are broken. For example, you might say “After you clean your room, you can play outside” (which means that a child who does not clean his/her room, will not get to play outside. Period.)
• Connect Before You Correct Principle : Ensure that the child feels loved and cared for before behavioral problems are attended to.
• Validation Principle : Validate the child’s feelings. For example, you might say “I know you are sad about losing your sleepover tonight and I understand”.
• Good Head on Your Shoulders Principle : Ensure that the child hears the equivalent of “you have a good head on your shoulders” in order to feel capable, empowered and responsible for his/her choices. This is especially important for teenagers.
• Belonging and Significance Principle : Ensure that your child feels important and as if he/she belongs. For example, remind your child that he/she is really good at helping in the kitchen and that the family needs this help in order to have dinner.
• Timer Says it’s Time Principle : Set a timer to help children make transitions. This helps kids to know what’s expected of them and may also involve giving them a choice in terms of the amount of time. For example, you might say “Do you need 15 or 20 minutes to get dressed?” Make sure to let the child know that the time is set.

The reader is encouraged to check-out Kersey’s 101 positive discipline principles, as they contain an enormous amount of useful and effective approaches for parents; along with principles that reflect many everyday examples (e.g., Babysitter Principle; Apology Principle; Have Fun Together Principle; Talk About Them Positively to Others Principle; Whisper Principle; Write a Contract Principle; and so much more).

This section has provided many helpful positive discipline ideas for a myriad of parenting situations and challenges. Positive discipline (which will be expounded on later sections of in the article: i.e., ‘positive parenting with toddlers and preschoolers,’ ‘temper tantrums,’ ‘techniques to use at bedtime,’ etc.) is an effective discipline approach that promotes loving parent-child relationships, as well as producing productive, respectful, and happy children.

The notion of parenting a toddler can frighten even the most tough-minded among us. This probably isn’t helped by terms such as ‘terrible two’s,’ and jokes like “ Having a two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it ” (Jerry Seinfeld, goodreads.com).

Sure, toddlers and preschoolers get a bad rap; but they do sometimes seem like tiny drunken creatures who topple everything in their path. Not to mention their tremendous noise and energy, mood swings, and growing need for independence.

While their lack of coordination and communication skills can be endearing and often hilarious; they are also quite capable of leaving their parents in a frenzied state of frustration. For example, let’s consider the situation below.

The Grocery Store Blow-out

In this relatable example, a dad and his cranky 3-year-old find themselves in a long line at a grocery store. The child decides she’s had enough shopping and proceeds to throw each item out of the cart while emitting a blood-curdling scream.

The father, who may really need to get the shopping done, is likely to shrivel and turn crimson as his fellow shoppers glare and whisper about his “obnoxious child” or “bad parenting.” He, of course, tells her to stop; perhaps by asking her nicely, or trying to reason with her.

When this doesn’t’ work, he might switch his method to commanding, pleading, threatening, negotiating, or anything else he can think of in his desperation. But she is out of control and beyond reason. The father wants an immediate end to the humiliation; but he may not realize that some quick fixes intended to placate his child, will only make his life worse in the long run.

So, what is he to do?

Before going into specific solutions for this situation, it is essential that parents understand this developmental stage. There are reasons for the child’s aggravating behaviors; reasons that are biologically programmed to ensure survival.

For example, kids aged two-to-three are beginning to understand that there are a lot of things that seem scary in the world. As such, they may become anxious about a variety of situations; like strangers, bad dreams, extreme weather, creepy images, doctor and dentist offices, monsters, certain animals, slivers or other minor medical issues, etc.

While these childhood fears make life more difficult for parents (i.e., when a child won’t stay in his/her room at night due to monsters and darkness, or when a child makes an enormous fuss when left with a babysitter), they are actually an indicator of maturity (Durant, 2016).

The child is reacting in a way that supports positive development by fearing and avoiding perceived dangers. While fear of monsters does not reflect a truly dangerous situation, avoidance of individuals who appear mean or aggressive is certainly in the child’s best interest.

Similarly, fear of strangers is an innate protective mechanism that prompts children to stay close to those adults who keep them healthy and safe. And some strangers indeed should be feared. Although a challenge for parents, young children who overestimate dangers with consistent false-positives are employing their survival instincts.

In her book  Positive Discipline (which is free online and includes worksheets for parents), Durant (2016) notes the importance of respecting a child’s fears and not punishing her/him for them, as well as talking to the child in a way that shows empathy and helps him/her to verbalize feelings. Durant proposes that one of the keys of effective discipline is “… to see short-term challenges as opportunities to work toward your long-term goals” (2016, p. 21).

With this objective in mind, any steps a parent takes when dealing with a frightened or misbehaving child should always be taken with consideration of their potential long-term impact. Long-term goals, which Durant describes as “the heart of parenting” may be hard to think about when a child is challenging and a frustrated parent simply wants the behavior to stop.

However, punishing types of behaviors such as yelling, are not likely to be in-line with long-term parenting goals. By visualizing their preschooler as a high school student or even an adult, it can help parents to ensure that their immediate responses are in-line with the kind, peaceful and responsible person they wish to see in 15 years or so. Durant (2016) provides several examples of long-term parenting goals, such as:

• Maintaining a quality relationship with the parent
• Taking responsibility for actions
• Being respectful of others
• Knowing right from wrong
• Making wise decisions
• Being honest, loyal and trustworthy

Related: Examples of Positive Reinforcement in the Classroom

Grocery Store Blow-out Solutions

Long-term parenting goals are highly relevant to the maddening grocery store example. If the dad only thinks about the short-term goal of making his daughter’s behavior stop embarrassing him at the store, he might decide to tell her she can have a candy bar if she is quiet and stops throwing items from the cart.

This way, he might reason, he can finish his shopping quickly and without humiliation. Sure, this might work as far as getting the child to behave on that day— at that moment; BUT here are some likely consequences:

• Next time they go shopping, she will do this again in order to receive the candy reward.
• Pretty much every time they go shopping, she will do the same thing; and the value of the reward is likely to escalate as she gets tired of the candy.
• She will learn that this behavior can get her rewards in all sorts of places beyond the grocery store, thus making her exhausted parents afraid to take her anywhere.

Moreover, the message she receives from the candy tactic will not reinforce the qualities the father likely wants to see in his daughter over time, such as:

• Being respectful of her parents
• Being respectful of others around her
• Being respectful of others’ property
• Being responsible for her behavior
• Being courteous and considerate
• Being helpful
• Having good manners
• Having good social skills

Therefore, the father might instead deal with this situation by calmly telling her that she needs to stop or she will get a time-out. The time-out can take place somewhere in the store that is not reinforcing for her, such as a quiet corner with no people around (e.g., no audience). Or they can go sit in the car.

If the store is especially crowded, the dad might also ask the clerk to place his cart in a safe place and/or save his place in line until he returns (which he/she will likely be inclined to do if it will get the child to be quiet). After a brief time-out, he should give his daughter a hug and let her know the rules for the remainder of the shopping trip, as well as the consequences of not following them.

In some cases, it might be better for the parent to simply leave the store without the groceries and go home. He won’t have completed his shopping, but that will be a small price for having a child who learns a good lesson on how to behave.

Very importantly, however; if he does take her home, this absolutely cannot be done in a way that is rewarding (i.e., she gets to go home and play, watch tv, or anything else she enjoys). She will need a time-out immediately upon arriving home, as well as perhaps the message that dinner won’t be her favorite tonight since the shopping was not done.

This is not meant to be punitive or sarcastic, more of a natural consequence for her to learn from (e.g., “If I act-out at the store, we won’t have my favorite foods in the house”). In fact, even though he may not feel like it, the father needs to speak to his daughter in a kind and loving way.

Regardless of whether the consequence is in the store or at home, the dad absolutely must follow-through consistently. If he doesn’t, he will teach her that sometimes she can misbehave and still get what she wants; this is a pattern of reinforcement that is really difficult to break.

Of course, the father cannot leave the store each time she misbehaves, as he won’t get anything done and he’s also giving her too much control. Thus, he should prepare in advance for future shopping trips by making her aware of the shopping rules, expectations for her behavior, and the consequences if she breaks them.

The father should be specific about such things, as “I expect you to be good at the store” is not clear. Saying something more like “The rules for shopping are that you need to talk in your quiet voice, listen to daddy, sit still in the cart, help daddy give the items to the clerk, etc.” The dad is also encouraged to only take her shopping when she is most likely to behave (i.e., when well-rested, well-fed, not upset about something else, etc.).

He might also give her something to do while shopping, such as by bringing her favorite book or helping to put items in the cart. Giving his daughter choices will also help her feel a sense of control (i.e., “You can either help put the items in the cart or you can help give them to the clerk”).

And, finally, the little girl should be rewarded for her polite shopping behavior with a great deal of praise (i.e., “You were a very good girl at the store today. You really helped Daddy and I enjoyed spending time with you”).

He might also reward her with a special experience (i.e., “You were so helpful at the store, that we saved enough time to go the park later” or “You were such a great helper today; can you also help daddy make dinner?”). Of course, the reward should not consist of food, since that can lead to various other problems.

There are many more positive parenting tips for this and other difficult parenting scenarios throughout this article, as well as numerous helpful learning resources. In the meantime, it is always wise to remember that your toddler or preschooler does not act the way he/she does in order to torture you— it’s not personal.

There are always underlying reasons for these behaviors. Just keep your cool, plan-ahead, think about your long-term goals, and remember that your adorable little monster will only be this age for a brief time.

Related:  Parenting Children with Positive Reinforcement (Examples + Charts)

Siblings, whether biological; adopted; full or half stepsiblings; often pick at each other endlessly. Arguments between siblings are a normal part of life. However, sometimes the degree of animosity between siblings (e.g., sibling rivalry) can get out of control and interfere with the quality of the relationship. Not to mention creating misery for parents. Plus, there are negative long-term consequences of problematic sibling relationships, such as deviant behavior among older children and teens (Moser & Jacob, 2002).

Sibling rivalry is often complicated, as it is affected by a range of family variables, such as family size, parent-child interactions, parental relationships, children’s genders, birth order, and personality—among others. And it starts really early. Sometimes, as soon as a child realizes a baby brother or sister is on the way, emotions begin to run high. Fortunately, parents have a great opportunity to prepare their children from the start.

For example, the parent can foster a healthy sibling relationship by engaging in open communication about becoming a big brother or sister early on. This should be done in a way that is exciting and supports the child’s new role as the older sibling. Parents can support bonding by allowing the child to feel the baby kick or view ultrasound pictures. They can solicit their child’s help in decorating the baby’s room.

For some families, their newborn baby may be premature or have other medical problems that require time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). In this situation, which can be quite stressful for siblings, parents should talk to the older child about what’s happening. Parents might also provide the child with updates on the baby’s progress, prepare the child for visits to the NICU, have the child draw a picture to leave with the baby, make a scrapbook for the baby, and set aside plenty of time with the older child (Beavis, 2007).

If the new child is going to be adopted, it is also important to encourage a connection. For example, along with explaining how the adoption will work, the child can be involved in the exciting aspects of the process once it is confirmed. In the case of an older child or international adoption, there are special things parents can do as well.

For example, if a child is in an orphanage, the sibling can help pick-out little gifts to send ahead of time (i.e., a stuffed animal, soft blanket or clothing). Having the child draw a picture and/or write a letter to the new sibling is another way to enhance the relationship. Adopting an older child will require particular preparation; as the new sibling will arrive with his/her own fears, traits, memories, and experiences that will certainly come into play.

There are a number of children’s books designed to help parents prepare their children for a new sibling, such as You Were the First (MacLachlan, 2013), My Sister Is a Monster : Funny Story on Big Brother and New Baby Sister How He Sees Her (Green, 2018), and Look-Look : The New Baby (Mayer, 2001).

There are also children’s books that help prepare children for adopted siblings, with some that are even more focused on the type of adoption. Here are a few examples: Seeds of Love : For Brothers and Sisters of International Adoption (Ebejer Petertyl & Chambers, 1997), A Sister for Matthew : A Story About Adoption (Kennedy, 2006), and Emma’s Yucky Brother (Little, 2002).

Along with the above tips, Amy McCready (2019) provides some excellent suggestions for ending sibling rivalry, these include:

• Avoid Labeling Children: by labeling children in ways such as “the social one,” “the great student,” “the athlete,” “the baby” etc., parents intensify comparisons, as well as one child’s belief that he/she does not possess the same positive qualities as the other one (i.e., “if he’s the ‘brainy one,’ I must be the ‘dumb one,’”).
• Arrange for Attention: Make sure each child has plenty of regular intentional attention so that they will be less inclined to fight for it.
• Prepare for Peace: McCready describes several ways to teach conflict resolution skills that help to avoid further issues between siblings.
• Stay out of Squabbles: Unless absolutely necessary (i.e., during a physical fight), it is best to stay out of squabbles. In doing so, the parent is not reinforcing the disagreement, while also enabling the children to work out solutions together.
• Calm the Conflict: If you must intervene, it is best to help the children problem-solve the situation without judgment or taking sides.
• Put them All in the Same Boat: McCready suggests that all children involved in the conflict receive the same consequence, which teaches them that they each will benefit from getting along.

These and other useful tips and resources are available on McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions website . Luckily, by being thoughtful and preparing ahead of time, parents can avoid excessive competition between children and promote meaningful lifelong sibling bonds.

Before discussing positive parenting with teenagers, it is important to remember one key fact: Teens still need and want their parents’ support, affection, and guidance— even if it doesn’t seem like it. Just as with younger kids, parental figures are essential for helping adolescents overcome difficult struggles (Wolin, Desetta & Hefner, 2016).

Indeed, by fostering a sense of mastery and internal locus of control, adults help to empower a teen’s sense of personal responsibility and control over the future (Blaustein & Kinniburgh, 2018). In fact, the presence of nurturing adults who truly listen has been reported among emotionally resilient teens (Wolin et al., 2016).

Positive parenting practices such as quality communication, parental monitoring, and authoritative parenting style also have been found to predict fewer risky behaviors among adolescents (DeVore & Ginsburg, 2005).

As parents of teens know, there are many challenges involved in parenting during this developmental period. Adolescents often find themselves confused about where they fit in the area between adulthood and childhood. They may desire independence, yet lack the maturity and knowledge to execute it safely. They are often frustrated by their bodily changes, acne and mood swings.

Teens may be overwhelmed by school, as well as pressures from parents and peers. Teens may feel bad about themselves and even become anxious or depressed as they try to navigate the various stressors they face.

Many of these difficulties, which certainly need attention from parents, may also make conversations difficult. Parents may feel confused as to how much freedom versus protectiveness is appropriate. The Love and Logic approach (Cline & Faye, 2006) provides some terrific ways for parents to raise responsible, well-adjusted teens.

The authors’ approach for parents involves two fundamental concepts: “Love [which] means giving your teens opportunities to be responsible and empowering them to make their own decisions.” And “Logic [which] means allowing them to live with the natural consequences of their mistakes-and showing empathy for the pain, disappointment, and frustration they’ll experience” (Foster, Cline, & Faye, 2019, hopelbc.com, p. 1).

Just as with young children, the Love and Logic method is a warm and loving way to prepare teens for the future while maintaining a quality relationship with parents.

Another positive parenting approach that is particularly applicable to adolescents is the Teen Triple P Program (Ralph & Sanders, 2004). Triple P (which will be described in a subsequent post) is tailored toward teens and involves teaching parents a variety of skills aimed at increasing their own knowledge and confidence.

The program also promotes various prosocial qualities in teens such as social competence, health, and resourcefulness; such that they will be able to avoid engaging in problem behaviors (e.g., substance use, risky sex, delinquency, Bulimia, etc.). This approach enables parents to replace harsh discipline styles for those that are more nurturing, without being permissive. It aims to minimize parent-teen conflict while providing teens with the tools and ability to make healthy choices (Ralph & Sanders, 2004).

Parents of teens (or future teens) often shudder when considering the dangers and temptations to which their children may be exposed. With a focus specifically on substance use, the Partnership for Drug-free Kids website offers a great deal of information for parents who are either dealing with teen drug use or are doing their best to prevent it.

For example, several suggestions for lowering the probability that a teen will use substances include:

• knowing your teen’s friends;
• being a positive role model in terms of your own coping mechanisms and use of alcohol and medication;
• being aware of your child’s level of risk for substance use;
• providing your teen with substance use information;
• supervising and monitoring your teen;
• setting boundaries;
• communicating openly about substance use; and
• building a supportive and warm relationship with your teen (Partnership for Drug-free Kids; PDK, 2014).

These suggestions are discussed in more detail on the following PDF : Parenting Practices: Help Reduce the Chances Your Child will Develop a Drug or Alcohol Problem (PDK, 2014). By employing these and other positive parenting techniques, you are helping your teenager to become a respectful, well-adjusted and productive member of society.

Divorce has become so common that dealing with it in the best possible way for kids is of vital importance to parents everywhere.

Parental divorce/separation represents a highly stressful experience for children that can have both immediate and long-term negative consequences.

Children of divorce are at increased risk for mental health, emotional, behavioral, and relationship problems (Department of Justice, Government of Canada, 2015).

There is, however, variability in how divorce affects children; with some adverse consequences being temporary, and others continuing well into adulthood. Since we know that divorce does not impact all children equally, the key question becomes: What are the qualities that are most effective for helping children to cope with parental divorce?

There are differences in children’s temperament and other aspects of personality, as well as family demographics, that affect their ability to cope with divorce. But, for present purposes, let’s focus on the aspects of the divorce itself since this is the area parents have the most power to change.

Importantly, the detrimental impact of divorce on kids typically begins well before the actual divorce (Amato, 2000). Thus, it may not be the divorce per se that represents the child risk factor; but rather, the parents’ relationship conflicts and how they are handled. For divorced/divorcing parents, this information is encouraging—as there are things you can do to help your children (and you) remain resilient despite this difficult experience.

Parental Conflict and Alienation

There are several divorce-related qualities that make it more difficult for children to adapt to divorce, such as parental hostility and poor cooperation between parents (Amato, 2000); and interpersonal conflict between parents along with continued litigation (Goodman, Bonds, & Sandler, et al., 2005).

Parents dealing with divorce need to make a special effort not to expose their children to conflicts between parents, legal and money related issues, and general animosity. The latter point merits further discussion, as parents often have a difficult time not badmouthing each other in front of (or even directly to) their kids. It is this act of turning a child against a parent that ultimately serves to turn a child against himself (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011).

Badmouthing the other divorced parent is an alienation strategy, given its aim to alienate the other parent from the child. Such alienation involves any number of criticisms of the other parent in front of the child. This may even include qualities that aren’t necessarily negative, but which can be depicted as such for the sake of enhancing alienation (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011).

Baker and Ben-Ami (2011) note that parental alienation tactics hurt children by sending the message that the badmouthed parent does not love the child. Also, the child may feel that, because their badmouthed parent is flawed; that he/she is similarly damaged. When a child receives a message of being unlovable or flawed, this negatively affects his/her self-esteem, mood, relationships, and other areas of life ( Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011 ).

An excellent resource for preventing parental alienation is Divorce Poison : How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing (Warshak, 2010).

Warshak describes how one parent’s criticism of the other may have a highly detrimental impact on the targeted parent’s relationship with his/her child. And such badmouthing absolutely hurts the child. Badmouthed parents who fail to deal with the situation appropriately are at risk of losing the respect of their kids and even contact altogether. Warshak provides effective solutions for bad-mouthed parents to use during difficult situations, such as:

• How to react when you find out about the badmouthing
• What to do if your kids refuse to see you
• How to respond to false accusations
• How to insulate kids from bad-mouthing effects

Reasons that parents attempt to manipulate children, as well as behaviors often exhibited by children who have become alienated from one parent,  are also described (Warshak, 2010). This book, as well as additional resources subsequently listed, provides hope and solutions for parents who are dealing with the pain of divorce.

Importantly, there are ways to support children in emerging from divorce without long-term negative consequences (i.e., by protecting them from parental animosity). It is in this way that parents can “enable their children to maintain love and respect for two parents who no longer love, and may not respect, each other” (Warshak, 2004-2013, warshak.com).

Positive parenting is an effective style of raising kids that is suitable for pretty much all types of parents and children. This article contains a rich and extensive collection of positive parenting research and resources; with the goal of arming caregivers with the tools to prevent or tackle a multitude of potential challenges. And, of course, to foster wellness and healthy development in children.

Here are the article’s key takeaways:

• Parents are never alone. Whatever the problem or degree of frustration, there is a whole community of parents who have faced the same issues. Not to mention a ton of positive parenting experts with effective solutions.
• Positive parenting begins early. Positive parenting truly starts the moment a person realizes he/she is going to become a parent since even the planning that goes into preparing for a child’s arrival will have an impact.
• Positive parenting applies to all developmental periods. With a positive parenting approach, raising toddlers and teenagers need not be terrible nor terrifying. Positive parenting promotes effective, joyful parenting of kids of all ages.
• Positive parents raise their children in a way that empowers them to reach their full potential as resilient and fulfilled individuals. Positive parents are warm, caring, loving and nurturing— and so much more: They are teachers, leaders, and positive role models. They are consistent and clear about expectations. They know what their kids and teens are doing. They encourage and reinforce positive behaviors. They make family experiences a priority. They support their children’s autonomy and individuality. They love their children unconditionally. They engage in regular, open dialogues with their children. They are affectionate, empathetic, and supportive. They understand that their teenagers still need them.
• Positive discipline is an effective, evidence-based approach that is neither punitive nor permissive. Positive discipline is performed in a loving way without anger, threats, yelling, or punishment. It involves clear rules, expectations, and consequences for behavior; and consistent follow-through. It is in alignment with parents’ long-term parenting goals.
• Positive parenting is backed by empirical evidence supporting its many benefits. Positive parenting promotes children’s self-esteem, emotional expression, self-efficacy, sense of belonging, social and decision-making skills, and belief in themselves. Positive parenting fosters secure attachments and quality relationships with parents; school adjustment and achievement; reduced behavior problems, depressive symptoms, and risk behaviors; and positive youth development in general. The outcomes associated with positive parenting are long-term and often permanent.
• Positive parenting is applicable to a vast array of challenges. Positive parenting applies to everyday challenges, as well as more frustrating and even severe issues. Positive parenting has been effectively used for dealing with temper tantrums, bedtime and eating issues, and sibling rivalry; as well as difficulties associated with divorce, ADHD, family stressors, teen pressures, and risk-taking—and much more.
• Positive parenting solutions are both abundant and accessible. Because positive parenting experts have tackled so many parenting issues, available resources are plentiful. Along with the many tips and suggestions contained in this article; there is a whole online library of positive parenting-related activities, workbooks, books, videos, courses, articles, and podcasts that cover a broad range of parenting topics.

Considering the many positive parenting solutions and resources currently available, parents can approach their role as teachers, leaders, and positive role models with confidence and optimism. And, ultimately, by consistently applying positive parenting strategies; parents will experience a deep and meaningful connection with their children that will last a lifetime. ?

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Parenting Exercises for free .

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• Wolchik, S., Sandler, I., Weiss, L., & Winslow, E. (2007). New Beginnings: An empirically-based program to help divorced mothers promote resilience in their children. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232468945_ New_Beginnings_An_empirically-based_program_to_help_divorced_mothers_ promote_resilience_in_their_children
• Wolin, S., Desetta, A., & Hefner, K. (2000). Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing.

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I am currently a student in occupational therapy and I am in the process of completing my dissertation for my degree, focusing on positive parenting and its impact on children with ADHD. Recently, I purchased a book that contained a QR code leading me to your article. Would it be possible to receive the DOI and the PDF of this article via email, please?

Thank you in advance for your assistance.

Best regards, Anis

While we don’t currently have an option to download or convert our posts to pdf, you are very welcome to reference the article as follows (APA 7): [author last name], [author initial]. (year, month day). Title. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/URL/

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Warm regards, Julia | Community Manager

Thank you for compiling this research. It was truly helpful in getting started on a positive path.

Hi there! I am writing a research paper on gentle parenting and the positive effects it has. Would you be able to send me your resource list for this article?

If you scroll to the very end of the article, you will find a button that you can click to reveal the reference list.

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I am also writing a paper. When citing this article, should I use 2019 or 2023 as the date? Thank you!

You can reference this article in APA 7th as follows: Lonczak, H.S. (2019, May 08). Title. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/positive-parenting/

Hope this helps! Kind regards, Julia | Community Manager

Great article. I really liked. I will share this article with my school.

I totally agree with many different points has written in this useful article, I spent several days to complete it,, but it was really worthy especially what you mentioned here about model of parenting. Thank your for all details and sources you wrote up there and waiting for your new things coming up.

i love your blog and always like new things coming up from it.

Positive parenting is key for a happy family! I totally agree that positive parenting promotes effective, joyful parenting of kids of all ages. The most important things about such a model of parenting are to know your kid’s friends, being a positive role model in terms of your own coping mechanisms and use of alcohol and medication, and building a supportive and warm relationship with your child. We are responsible for the future generation, therefore raising happy and good person is a must!

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5 Evidence-Based Ways to Practice Positive Parenting

What is positive parenting and can it really improve your child's behavior.

Posted August 7, 2021 | Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

• A Parent's Role
• Find a family therapist near me
• Positive parenting is a parenting practice that focuses on building a positive relationship with your child.
• Research finds that positive parenting is associated with lower levels of challenging behavior in children.
• There are several evidence-based ways to practice positive parenting that may also be associated with improved behavior.

“Positive parenting ” is currently a buzzword that is commonly used to describe parenting practices. Yet, what exactly does this term mean? Does research find positive parenting to be effective? And how do you actually practice positive parenting?

What is positive parenting?

There is a need for a more consistent definition of positive parenting. Yet, a recent review article generated the following definition of positive parenting based on 120 articles on the topic: “a continual relationship of parents and children that includes caring, teaching, leading, communicating, and providing for the needs of a child consistently and unconditionally” (Seay & Freysteinson, 2014). Other researchers have defined positive parenting as a parent-child relationship that is “responsive to child’s needs and feelings and combines warmth and thoughtful, firm limit setting consistently over time” (Schor, 2003).

Is positive parenting effective? Will it really improve your child’s behavior?

Research finds that positive parenting is associated with lower levels of aggression and other forms of challenging behavior in children. In particular, mothers who use more positive parenting practices with their toddlers are less likely to have children who show challenging behavior later in childhood .

How do you practice positive parenting in a way associated with less challenging behavior in children (according to the research)?

1) Respect your child’s autonomy and independence. Allow them to make choices and to make their own mistakes. When possible, let them choose the clothes they wear, their play activities, and the order of tasks in their daily routines.

2) Provide developmentally appropriate opportunities for play and learning for your children. Teach them new words and skills but also teach them about emotions. Set limits and correct their behavior when necessary.

3) Be sensitive to cues from your child. Be aware and responsive to their emotions. Respond consistently to their communication (or attempts at communication, if they are not yet communicating using words),

4) Be warm and loving with your child. Regularly show them affection and love. Praise their efforts and hard work whenever you notice it.

5) Be present and interact with your child as often as possible. Practice special time with your child daily (that is, spend about 15 minutes per day one-on-one with your child with minimal distractions and following their lead in play)

Does positive parenting mean you never correct your child or provide limits?

No, positive parenting, as it is defined in the research, involves consistent and firm limit setting.

Can you practice “positive parenting” and still use consequences and time-outs?

Yes, most evidence-based parenting positive parenting programs involve natural and logical consequences, and many programs include some version of time out.

Does positive parenting mean staying close to your child during all tantrums and meltdowns?

No, positive parenting means being sensitive to your child’s cues. If they need space when they are upset, give them time and space to calm down. And if you, as the parent, need some time and space to calm down, allow yourself to do so as well!

Boeldt, D. L., Rhee, S. H., DiLalla, L. F., Mullineaux, P. Y., Schulz‐Heik, R. J., Corley, R. P., ... & Hewitt, J. K. (2012). The association between positive parenting and externalizing behaviour. Infant and Child Development, 21(1), 85-106.

Seay, A., Freysteinson, W. M., & McFarlane, J. (2014, July). Positive parenting. In Nursing Forum (Vol. 49, No. 3, pp. 200-208).

Schor, E. (2003). Family pediatrics: Report of the task force on the family. Pediatrics, 111(6), 1541–1571.

Cara Goodwin, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in translating scientific research into information that is useful, accurate, and relevant for parents.

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6 Ways to Improve Your Parenting Skills

Steps You Can Take Right Now to Be a Better Parent

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• Listen to Your Kids

Stick to Your Rules

Be a good role model, control your emotions, be flexible, show lots of love.

Raising kids is never easy. In fact, it's often one of the most challenging—and frustrating—things you will ever do, especially because you are learning parenting skills as you go. No one goes into parenting knowing exactly how to handle everything that is thrown at them. But the best parents are always looking for ways to improve.

If you want to learn more about parenting, you've already made the first step toward becoming the best parent you can be. Clearly, you care about how you interact with and raise your kids ; that's likely the most important part of being a good parent.

Parents who struggle with their parenting responsibilities or feel too overwhelmed to try to improve may be negatively impacting their kids. Neuroscience research shows that when kids are exposed to negative experiences during their childhood, it can be harmful to their developing brains.

But being a good parent can offset those negative experiences—and enhancing your positive parenting skills is a great place to start. To help you work on consistently improving your parenting skills , view this parenting skill checklist of six things you can do right now to be a better parent to your kids.

Parenting Tips

• Listen to your kids
• Stick to your rules
• Be a good role model
• Control your emotions
• Be flexible
• Show lots of love

Listen to Your Kids 

Have you ever been so busy that you don't realize your kids are talking to you? Don't worry—it happens to the best of us. However, when you are spending time with your child, do your best to avoid distractions , including those intrusive thoughts about work, the laundry, or your phone that seems to be calling your name.

Make it a priority to know what your kids are hoping for, what they fear, and what they feel anxious about. Listen and ask questions, even if they ignore you or try to evade answering. When you demonstrate that you care, you are showing them that you love and value them and their thoughts and opinions.

Active listening also means you focus on what is being said without thinking about how you're going to respond. It's about watching body language and picking up on cues.

Another way to improve your listening skills is to get on your child's level so that you can look them in the eye. That may mean kneeling down so that you match their height. Give your kids your complete attention and make good eye contact.

Even reaching out and gently touching their arm or holding their hand when they're upset communicates not only that they have your full attention, but that you empathize with what they're feeling.

As a parent, it's your job to teach your kids the difference between right and wrong, which means you need to follow the rules, too. So, when you do something wrong, make a mistake, or lose your cool, fess up. Model how to apologize, take responsibility for your actions and make amends.

You also need to be sure your discipline is consistent but flexible. For instance, there will be times when you'll say no to your kids and mean it. There will be other times when you realize you've made a mistake or perhaps responded too harshly.

If you do change your rules, be sure you say, "I was wrong," and explain why you changed your mind. Also, remember that we all make mistakes. So, don't be afraid to admit that.

However, when the punishment fits the crime, stick to your guns. Kids notice inconsistencies and will use them in their favor. Remember, rules must be enforced after they are made. And whatever rules are set in your house , you need to follow them as well, unless you have a really good reason why you're excluded.

Don't do anything in front of your children that you wouldn't want them to do. If you find yourself exhibiting behavior that you don't want your child to mimic, then it's a sign you should change how you react in certain situations. Kids will copy what you do , not what you say.

Remember, your kids are watching you head off to work every day. They see you doing chores, making dinner , and paying the bills. As a result, it's important that they see you managing your responsibilities to the best of your abilities. Just remember, you aren't trying to be perfect, you're just teaching them about the importance of hard work , responsibility, and honesty.

If you lose your cool in front of your kids, they may become fearful or anxious, especially if they are younger. Whether you're arguing with a customer service representative on the phone or you're having a disagreement with your spouse , do your best to avoid exhibiting reactive, immature, or mean behavior in the presence of your children.

Anytime you lose control, yell, or argue with someone, you're showing your children this is how people react when times get tough. Instead, demonstrate how you can keep your cool and resolve problems in a calm manner. When you do, you're showing them what  emotional intelligence  looks like.

If you do blow up, be sure to apologize and take responsibility for your anger. Doing so is another way to model healthy behavior.

Sometimes parents struggle with unrealistic expectations and goals for both their kids and for themselves. When this happens, parenting can feel burdensome and overwhelming. If you find that you regularly feel that way, you may need to be more flexible when it comes to yourself, your kids, and your parenting.

Being a perfectionist parent is stressful. Not only do parents in this camp fear messing their kids up for life, but they also put extreme pressure on their kids to perform flawlessly. They also expect way too much of themselves.

Likewise, if you are a perfectionist, you may worry about what other parents think of you or that you will be shamed for your parenting . For instance, you might feel that your toddler isn't potty training fast enough or that your school-age kids aren't doing well enough in school. This kind of pressure can backfire, especially if your expectations set your child up to feel like a failure.

It's important to take a step back and reevaluate whether or not your expectations are realistic.

Likewise, learn to be more flexible and let go of things that don't matter in the long run. Both you and your kids will benefit from a more go-with-the-flow attitude.

There's no doubt that you love your kids, but how do you show them? Do you shower them with kisses and hugs as often as you can? Remember, embracing your child will make them feel safe and loved. So will holding their hand, stroking their hair, and kissing their cheek.

Another way to show love is to spend time together. This is a great way to show kids that they are a priority to you. Just don't forget to actively engage with them. This means putting down your phone and really engaging with your kids.

Also, initiate activities, such as playing board games, enjoying outdoor activities , or simply talking with your children to make the most of the time you have together. Showing interest in things that they are passionate about is another great way to show your kids that you love and understand them.

So, if your child loves basketball, watch a basketball-themed movie or play HORSE (a two-person basketball game) together. You could even watch March Madness or the NBA playoffs with them. Likewise, if your child likes painting, consider spending an hour painting with them or taking them to the art museum or an arts and crafts festival.

No matter what your kids' interests are, they can be a great vehicle for engaging with them. When you show you care about what your kids care about, that encourages them to be more compliant with your rules and lets them know that you love them.

A Word From Verywell

When it comes to parenting skills, remember that there's a difference between being a good parent and being a perfectionist. While it's important to improve your parenting skills and strive to be a good parent, don't beat yourself up when you make mistakes. No one is a perfect parent.

Additionally, making a mistake now and then is not going to harm your kids. Just own your mistakes, make amends if you need to, and move on. Instead, focus on being consistently there for your kids, setting boundaries and rules, and showing them that you love them.

Okafor M, Sarpong DF, Ferguson A, Satcher D. Improving health outcomes of children through effective parenting: Model and methods .  Int J Environ Res Public Health . 2013;11(1):296-311. doi:10.3390/ijerph110100296

By Katherine Lewis Katherine Reynolds Lewis is a journalist, author, speaker, and certified parent educator who writes about modern parenting and discipline. 

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MI Parenting Resource

Online tools and training for parents and caregivers.

Welcome to MI Parenting Resource! This free, online program is meant to support caregivers across the state in strengthening their parent-child relationships and gaining new tools for enhancing positive child behaviors.

Through MI Parenting Resource, you will have access to a collection of brief parenting videos introducing evidence-based strategies for common caregiving concerns, such as how to increase child cooperation, teach children new behaviors, and manage emotions in the hectic world of parenting. What’s more, you will hear about these strategies from real-life caregivers – people who have used these skills in their own families and want others to experience the same positive outcomes they have seen with their children.

MI Parenting Resource is available free of charge. We just ask that you provide some basic information about yourself and your family so that we can evaluate the program. Individuals must be at least 18 years old to register.

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Practice Parenting Skills

Practice is helpful for learning new skills, especially new parenting techniques.  Click on the links below to get started.

A positive parent-child relationship begins early in life. Watch this clip and look for times when the parents could have used better communication with their children.

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Creating structure in the home does not have to be hard. Click here for a step-by-step guide to making charts for family routines, rules, rewards, and chores.

View and download sample charts

Sometimes parents feel like they are talking to a wall when giving their child directions. Take this quiz and test your skills at giving directions. You’ll get some helpful tips about how to improve.

Responding to your child’s behavior problems can be tough at times. Watch this video to see some common problem behaviors and how the parents handled them.

Kids can be creative in figuring out ways to avoid time-out. It’s easy to get frustrated when you’re not sure what to do about it. Take this quiz to help you learn how to handle some common time-out challenges.

Are you interested in using time-out but not sure how to choose or set up a good space for it? This interactive photo will guide you in setting up your time-out space.

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Parenting Resources: Organizations That Help Parents

Parenting resources and organizations that help parents can be invaluable as parents navigate mother- and fatherhood from their children’s birth through the teen years. Parenting is a task that can be both rewarding and challenging. Unfortunately, newborns don’t come equipped with handy parenting guides . Perhaps that’s why there are parenting resources. Parenting organizations provide articles and resources to help parents do their best to raise well-adjusted, thriving kids that will mature into well-adjusted, thriving adults.

The below list of organizations will lead you to a treasure trove of useful resources. Investigate them to find the information you are seeking to enhance your own parenting philosophy and learn parenting skills for the digital age .

Parenting Resources and Organizations that Support All Parents

• HealthyChildren.org HealthyChildren.org is a service of the American Academy of Pediatrics and is backed by nearly 70,000 pediatricians and their knowledge. This organization helps parents optimize the wellness of their children from birth through young adulthood. Parents can find useful information on health, whether it’s physical, mental, or social.  
• Zero to Three As its name implies, the organization Zero to Three helps parents of infants and toddlers. They provide a wealth of information to help parents design their own unique parenting goals and approach to parenting and whole-child development.  
• Search Institute’s Keep Connected Program The Search Institute is dedicated to helping schools, youth, and families by providing information and tools for success. Their Keep Connected Program is designed to assist parents in building strong, healthy families that thrive. Parents can read about each stage of their child’s development and how to respond during each stage. Strengthening relationship and fostering responsibility are among the helpful topics designed for parents.  
• The Center for Parenting Education Dedicated to providing parenting articles and support, the Center for Parenting Education is a resource center offering articles, tips, tools, and a resource directory designed to educate and support parents to raise kids that are emotionally healthy and well-adjusted. Among other parenting topics, build good parenting skills and learn to set limits while providing your kids unconditional love.

Parenting Articles and Resources That Help Parents with Their Children’s Education

• PBS for Parents PBS for Parents provides parenting articles to help parents have fun with their children, exploring topics and engaging in activities to help them grow and thrive. Parents can gain information to help kids of all ages learn about self-awareness, social skills, character, literacy, math, and science. This parenting resource also offers activity ideas to help parents be involved and active with their child.  
• National Education Association (NEA) Parent Articles and Resources The NEA provides a wealth of parenting articles to assist parents in being involved in their children’s education and schools. Here, you have access to articles, resources, and parent guides with information about topics like bullying, how to be an active parent in your child’s education, and more.

Parenting Resource Centers for Families in Financial Need

• LIFT LIFT is a parent and family support community based in New York City, Washington, D.C., Chicago, and Los Angeles. The organization works with families with children younger than eight to help them achieve their goals. Parents work with a coach to develop and implement goals such as financial stability and building savings, finding quality education for their children, and improving their place of employment.  
• Family Promise Family Promise helps families living in poverty, either on the brink of homelessness or currently homeless. Knowing that parents must provide for the basic needs of their children if the children are to thrive physically, mentally, and cognitively, Family Promise provides families with food, shelter, and support. Volunteers mentor parents, teach them about finances, and help them find employment and affordable housing.  
• Debt.org An organization with services and information for single parents in need of financial help, debt.org provides resources and support. Single parents of kids 18 and under can receive assistance navigating government programs, education opportunities, housing, and emergency financial assistance.

You don’t have to parent alone. Parenting resources abound to give you parenting help and equip you with the skills you want and the knowledge you need to help you raise your child the way you want to. All of these parenting organizations have this in common: They are there to help you build a strong, loving relationship with your child.

article references

APA Reference Peterson, T. (2022, January 11). Parenting Resources: Organizations That Help Parents, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 1 from https://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/parenting-help/parenting-resources-organizations-that-help-parents

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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Center for Effective Parenting | Arkansas Parenting | Parenting Resources

Parenting information links, general parenting information.

Healthy Children www.healthychildren.org This website is sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics for parents. It provides information on topics including child development, health, safety, and family issues.

Parenting 24/7 www.parenting247.org This University of Illinois website was developed to be a “one-stop” source of news, information, and advice on parenting. The website provides recent news articles related to parenting and children, feature articles written for parents on a wide variety of topics, as well as a large number of video clips of parents and professionals discussing parenting challenges and strategies.

YourChild: Development and Behavior Resources www.med.umich.edu/yourchild This University of Michigan Health System website offers information on an extremely wide variety of topics related to child development, behavior, safety, and health issues.

Child and Family WebGuide www.cfw.tufts.edu This Tufts University website describes and evaluates other websites that contain research-based information on child development and parenting. Links to these sites are provided.

Talking with Kids about Tough Issues http://www.childrennow.org/index.php/learn/talking_with_kids/ Information on talking to children about issues such as sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, race, HIV, what they see on TV, disasters, divorce, and terrorism.

Kid Source Divided into categories (newborns, toddlers, preschoolers, K-12 and other categories), this site offers a variety of articles, products, and services related to each specific age category.  It is focused primarily on health and education issues.

Parenting.org Girls and Boys Town sponsors this web site which contains parenting guides and an “Ask the Expert” section.

Family Education This site contains general parenting information, as well as, educational topics and activities for parents. Sections are divided into different age groups. Additionally, the site features family entertainment sections under the different age groups where parents can view games and activities to enjoy with their children.

The National Parenting Center Parenting authorities (doctors, psychologists, and parenting experts/authors) offer advice for parents. The articles are based on age-specific groups, which offer a variety of advice for children in each stage of development.

Parent News Parenting articles, news, advice and tips on a variety of topics can be found on this site!

Parenting Press Although mostly a commercial site for ordering books, this site does contain some parenting tips from the various books it features, which cover a variety of topics.

Family Fun Sites

GreatSites Created by the American Library Association, this site contains a significant number of web sites recommended for children. The links are divided into sections such as Literature and Languages, Sciences, Mathematics & Computers, the Arts, and many more! Each section includes a variety of sites for children of all age levels, nationalities and gender! There is another section for parents, caregivers, and teachers.

PBS Parents Parents can access PBS’ website for information on education, early learning, child development, and fun & games.

Cyberkids / Cyberteens These two sites are published by Able Minds. Both sites contain neat and colorful graphics! Younger children can play games and check out links on the cyberkids site, while teens can also play games, view artwork by their peers, and more on the cyberteens site. All in all, a fun and interesting web site for kids and teens!

Disney The Disney site features a kids section that includes games and activities for kids, as well as news for kids. There is also a family section that features family fun activities.

Crayon This web page lets the subscriber (subscription is Free) create their own newspaper modified for their tastes and local area. It offers the reader everything from today’s headline news, sports, comics, weather, local news, business, etc. The viewer can even personalize the newspaper. Fun for teens and up!

Kids’ Money This page provides parents with ideas/tips to teach their children about money management. It also features surveys, web links, and resources (books, etc.) for parents. There is a kids’ page that offers advice to kids, web resources, activities, etc.

Mother Specific Sites

Working Mother Designed for mothers who work outside the home, this site offers articles of interest to working mothers, as well as strategies, Q & A, personal stories and links.

Father Specific Sites

Fathers.com Fathers.com is the premier online resource for every day dads. Created by the National Center for Fathering, fathers.com provides research-based training, practical tips and resources to help men be the involved fathers, grandfathers, and father figures their children need. Also contains information on Urban Dads and Watch DOGS.

National Fathers’ Network This site targets fathers of children with special health care needs and developmental disabilities. The site features articles, links, information about medical needs, bulletin boards, and a segment in Spanish.

New & Expectant Parents

Text4Baby http://text4baby.org/ Expectant parents can sign up to receive free text messages timed to the baby’s due date.  Messages on evidence-based health information and resources continue until the baby’s 1st birthday.  This program is offered through the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition.  Through an agreement with CTIA –  The Wireless Foundation parents will not be charged for these texts (and will not reduce the limit on texts in their wireless plan) if they use any of the major wireless carriers in the United States (a list of these carriers is on the website).

Baby Center Expectant parents can access this web site to obtain articles (lots!) on various topics related to expectant and new parents. It also features a due date calculator and pregnancy calendar to track baby’s development week by week through pregnancy and beyond!

Pampers Total Baby Care Pampers has assembled this web site to contain a variety of good information. Besides the obvious product information, the research centers features some good information and advice from “experts.”

Single Parents

Parents Without Partners This is the official site for the Parents Without Partners program. The site directs parents to their local chapter of the program, as well as provides a newsletter, news and events, resources on the net for single parents, and a chat room for members.

Health Information

Mayo Clinic The website of the Mayo Clinic contains information about children’s health issues, pregnancy, and family life, all under the “Healthy Living Center” section. Lots of good articles on a variety of topics!

KidsHealth.org This site is divided into sections for parents, kids and teens. It is sponsored by the Nemours Foundation. It has an easy search option to access the entire web site database for information on a specific subject.

Healthfinder This site is a consumer-related gateway to health and human services information from the U.S. government. The search engine links the consumer to resources on a particular subject, offers links to the latest health news, events and press releases, and provides links to online journal publications. Also supplies links to toll free numbers, self-help and support group information.

Children with Special Needs

Family Village Parents of children with disabilities can utilize this web site to access resources for disability related topics. Great source for parents of special needs children!

Learning Disability Online This web site is for parent, teachers and children with learning disabilities and/or ADHD. The site is divided into three sections containing information on learning disabilities, resources, newsletter, etc.

The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities This site contains information on children and youth with disabilities. Parents can communicate in both English and Spanish. There are A-Z topics on web resources, as well as a section on state resources.

National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club This site is for mothers of twins, triplets or other multiple birth children. It contains information/tips of specific interest to these mothers, lists products and publications for parents of multiple birth children, and serves as a clearinghouse for information about local chapters of “twin clubs.”

Educational Issues

Arkansas Department of Education Parents and educators in Arkansas will find lots of good information about Arkansas schools. The site lists information on education frameworks, benchmarks, school standards, school choice as well as information about programs such as Smart Start, Next Step and No Child Left Behind. Parents can view test scores from recent Benchmark exams under the Testing section.

Arkansas School Improvement List (NORMES) Parents in Arkansas can click here to see whether their child’s school is in School Improvement Status (and if so, what year)! Check to see how your child’s school measures up!

Arkansas PTA This site gives information about the Arkansas Parent Teacher Association. Parents and educators can also access information about the National PTA’s highly acclaimed parent involvement program, Building Successful Partnerships, as well as check out issues of monthly newsletters.

Great Schools.net (See How Your Child’s School Rates!!!!) This web link features information about School Report Cards, as well as information about public, private, and charter schools in Arkansas, (although parents in other states can access information for their state as well through here). Parents can get profiles of schools in their area based on Benchmark Exams and compare them against other schools. There are also tips on a variety of school-related issues (tips on math and reading, college prep, learning disabilities, etc.) that parents can access. Lots of great information!

U.S. Department of Education Publications The Department of Education’s mission and goals are provided in this site. There is a section specifically for parents which contains information on No Child Left Behind, parent involvement, and school performance. A wealth of information for parents!!!!

Reading is Fundamental Reading is Fundamental (RIF) is the nation’s largest child literacy organization. Parents can find tips and activity ideas for different age groups on this site to help motivate their children to read. Resources are also available in Spanish.

Get Ready to Read! Get Ready to Read (GRTR)! is a national initiative to build the early literacy skills of preschool children. Parents use the tools and strategies found here to help prepare children to read and write.

Family Education Website for parents dedicated to children’s learning. Parents can find topics for all ages on school and general parenting issues. Weekly on-line newsletters are also available through this site.

Arkansas School Report Cards (NORMES) Parents in Arkansas can click here to see whether their child’s school is in School Improvement Status (and if so, what year)! Check to see how your child’s school measures up!

Parents Make the Difference Video A 15 minute video highlighting various parental involvement activities in Arkansas schools.

(UAMS and ACH are not responsible for the information received from links to other sites)

Center for Effective Parenting / Arkansas Home Visiting Training Institute

UAMS Department of Pediatrics/Arkansas Children’s Hospital 1 Children’s Way, Slot 512-21B Phone (501) 364-7580 Fax (501) 364-1588

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Mission Statement

The Center for Effective Parenting positively impacts children by helping parents and those who work with parents enhance their knowledge, skills, and attitudes regarding parenting. The Center focuses on training, service, and research in order to have a broad impact in facilitating the healthy growth and development of children.

Healthy Coping Skills Every Kid Should Learn

K ids have to learn how to handle feelings of anger and sadness. These coping skills will help them process and regulate any emotions life throws their way.

As a parent, you’ve probably muttered under your breath, “I can’t even,” more times than you can count. Whether it's getting your toddler to put on their sneakers or convince your teenager to finish dinner , you likely have found a way to cope. And to do that you need effective coping skills, the behaviors and strategies we use to manage stressful situations, which ideally, we pass onto our children.

Over the years, everyone develops and learns on their go-to coping skills, and your kids will, too. Maybe you journal, go for a long walk, or practice deep breathing. Regardless of how you cope, we all know how important it is to have those coping skills that help us calm down and think through our problems. And it's important to start teaching your little one those coping skills for kids early on.

Related: 4 Big Emotions to Be Sure You're Talking About With Little Kids

Why Coping Skills Are Important for Kids

Throughout your life, there have been difficult situations you’ve had to navigate. It could be as life-changing as the loss of a loved one, to something smaller, like that overwhelming feeling that comes with a sink full of dishes. 

But learning how to use those coping skills isn’t something your kids are born knowing. 

“Kids experience very big, raw emotions, and they don't have the executive functioning skills adults have to regulate themselves,” says Megan Wojtak, LPC, SAC, a psychotherapist with Nulife Therapy . “It's important for kids to learn how to soothe themselves and tolerate distressing emotions rather than reacting to them or acting on them.”

From stress and grief to peer pressure and all the feelings in between, your kids will face an entire array of emotions. As parents, we can’t (and shouldn’t) shield them from the difficult parts of life, but rather help them work through stressful moments with coping skills that fit their personalities and interests.

Related: This Teacher Just Gave a Masterclass on Helping Kids Regulate Their Emotions and We Can All Learn From Her

How to Teach Coping Skills to Kids

Tried and true coping skills will serve kids now and in the future. Once they master the basics, their skills will evolve as they face more complex situations.

Just keep in mind that every kid has different responses to coping skills. Having a toolbox full of healthy options means they’re less likely to fall into unhealthy habits like withdrawal, self-harm, or irregular eating patterns (like over- or under-eating). 

“We know coping skills can help children manage stress and face challenges with confidence. They learn how to cope over time through relationships with primary caregivers who model how to cope with difficult challenges and life stressors,” says Beth Tyson , psychotherapist, grief & trauma expert. 

So, how do we introduce these skills to our kids? Here are a few different ways to get you started.

Model healthy coping behaviors yourself

Actions speak louder than words. If it feels like you’ve talked to your child but they aren’t understanding your words, be aware that showing them how you cope with those hard feelings and stress can be more effective than telling them how to.

Encourage open communication 

A part of this open communication is talking about and validating your child’s feelings. “Validating a child's emotions, even anger, is crucial. Talking about all the emotions helps them label it and teaches the kids to identify their emotions,” Wojtak explains.

Create a supportive environment

This is most effective by creating a safe space by actively listening. When your child feels safe, like they won’t get in trouble for expressing negative emotions, they’re more likely to explore them.

Provide tools and resources

There are a variety of flashcards and games your child can use to learn coping skills. These resources can help your child identify and label emotions.

Try different coping skills until you find one that works 

You know the phrase, 'If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again'? The same is true for your child finding the right coping skill for them. Don’t give up your kid if they don’t learn coping skills right away.

Related: List of Feeling Words From A to Z

Teach and practice coping statements

When we get upset, we as adults tell ourselves things like, "It's ok. It's not worth getting angry about." But kids don't always have these types of phrases at their disposal. So practice with your child imaginary scenarios in which a challenging situation might arise, like a sibling taking his favorite toy, and have him come up with what he can say to himself to calm down if he begins to feel angry. Like all other skills, the more you practice with him the better he should get.

Then right before a situation might come up, such as right before he is going to play with a friend who often frustrates him, or when he asks you for something but before you answer, remind him to practice again, so the coping skill is fresh in his mind.

Related: 8 Ways to Help an Emotionally Sensitive Child

Different Types of Coping Skills for Kids

No matter what category of coping skill is the best fit for your child, Tyson recommends incorporating bilateral stimulation, otherwise known as BLS.

“BLS are incredible coping skills for calming a child's overactive nervous system. It involves engaging both sides of the body," Tyson says. "At the same time, to promote relaxation, emotional regulation, and integration of experiences.”

“If your child becomes distressed, discontinue the activity or interaction,” Tyson adds. “Explain the action step-by-step and allow them to have a choice in the activity. Be prepared to provide comfort and help them regulate their emotions by remaining calm and compassionate.”

Physical Coping Skills for Kids 

Activities that burn off energy and get your child’s body moving can reduce stress hormones.

• Going for a nature walk
• Having a fun, silly dancing party 
• Practicing yoga 
• Riding bikes
• Rocking or swaying

Creative Coping Skills for Kids 

Activities that incorporate and inspire your child’s creativity can help them processes and regulate emotion. These activities also create a calm space to reflect on their day, and sharpen their ability to focus on one specific project—perhaps even giving them satisfaction of completing a project on their own terms.

• Draw or color
• Write positive affirmations
• Tapping or drumming

Relaxing Coping Skills for Kids 

Never in the history of, well, anything, has simply telling someone to calm down actually been helpful. These relaxing coping skills allow your child to be aware of their stress—and release it. In particular, meditating and going for a walk for 10 minutes were found to improve mood in young adults. Here are a few more strategies.

• Listening to music
• Deep breathing
• Progressive muscle relaxation (tensing parts of your body and then relaxing)

Social Coping Skills for Kids

Sometimes talking to other people is just what your kids need to cope with the curveballs life throws them. Research also suggests that building these social connections boosts self-esteem, and empowers your child to take control for their emotions.

• Talking about how you’re feeling with family members
• Playing a board game together
• Joining support clubs
• Volunteering and helping other people
• Engage in role-playing situations where they can act out a tough situation

Key Takeaway

It’s essential for your child’s mental and emotional health to develop coping skills. While working together to find the best fit, be patient and keep in mind, this is a learning experience for them.

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Read the original article on Parents .