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• Published: 31 January 2024

A decade of love: mapping the landscape of romantic love research through bibliometric analysis

• Yixue Han 1 ,
• Yulin Luo 1 ,
• Zhuohong Chen 1 ,
• Nan Gao 1 ,
• Yangyang Song 1 &
• Shen Liu 1  

Humanities and Social Sciences Communications volume  11 , Article number:  187 ( 2024 ) Cite this article

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Given the limited availability of bibliometric and visual analysis on the topic of romantic love, the primary objective of the current study is to fill this gap by conducting a comprehensive visual analysis of relevant literature. Through this analysis, the current study aimed to uncover current research trends and identify potential future directions in the field of romantic love. The current study’s search criteria were met by an impressive 6858 publications found in the Web of Science database for the period between 2013 and 2022. A thorough analysis was conducted on the bibliographic visualization of the authors, organizations, countries, references, and keywords. Over time, there has been a remarkable surge in the number of significant publications. Among the authors in the field of romantic love, Emily A. Impett has emerged as the most prolific. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships is indeed one of the top journals that has published a significant number of articles on the topic of romantic love. During the preceding decade, the University of California System emerged as a prominent producer of publications centered around romantic love, solidifying the United States’ position as a dominant player in this field. In recent times, there has been a significant surge in the popularity of keywords such as “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships” within academic literature. These topics have experienced a burst of attention, as evidenced by a substantial increase in references and citations. Through the use of visualization maps and analysis of key publications, the current study offers a comprehensive overview of the key concepts and potential avenues for future research in the field of romantic love. Gaining a deep understanding of the complex dynamics and societal implications of romantic love has been instrumental in formulating policies that embody increased compassion and support. As a result, these policies have played a pivotal role in fostering resilient familial ties and contributing to the enduring stability and prosperity of our social fabric.

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Introduction, the development course of romantic love.

Romantic love, as defined by Hatfield and Rapson ( 1987 ) as an intense longing for union with another, has long been recognized as a driving force behind some of humanity’s most remarkable achievements. Studies by Bartels and Zeki ( 2000 ) and the work of Fehr ( 2013 , 2015 ) have further emphasized its profound impact. Previous research has suggested that romantic love has a crucial role in the development and maintenance of romantic relationships. It involves a transition from the significant investment of time and attention in the initial stages to enhanced communication and satisfaction in committed partnerships (Mizrahi et al. 2022 ). However, recent research has shown that in the United States, the divorce rate has consistently remained at historically high levels. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( 2017 ), ~40–50% of first marriages end in divorce. In recent times, there has been a trend toward shorter and more prevalent romantic relationships. Alirezanejad ( 2022 ) found that different generations of women have maintained distinct expectations and experiences when it comes to love. Additionally, the significance of commitment in romantic relationships has witnessed a decline. These findings also indicate that there are additional factors at play that influence the dynamics between romantic love and the duration of relationships. The triangular theory of love, being one of the most widely used theories on romantic love, proposes that romantic love consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and an absence of commitment, alongside a willingness to invest resources without expecting reciprocation (Jimenez-Picon et al. 2022 ). The Love Attitude Scale (LAS) developed by Clyde and Susan Hendrick has been a significant contribution in the study of romantic love using psychometric methods. Tobore ( 2020 ) introduced a comprehensive four-fold framework that aims to elucidate the dynamics of how love evolves and diminishes. This framework includes the elements of attraction, empathy or connection, trust, and respect. As a result, the enigmatic and unique nature of romantic love has captivated the attention of scholars from various disciplines, including psychology, biology, sociology, and neuroscience. These scholars have conducted extensive research and investigations into the complexities of romantic love. Thus, the present study conducted a comprehensive and in-depth analysis and discourse on romantic love, spanning multiple research domains. Additionally, the publication emphasized the influence of romantic love on positive emotions as well as its association with various negative behaviors. Furthermore, it underscored the importance of utilizing bibliometric analysis as a valuable approach to study and understand romantic love.

The research directions of romantic love in different disciplines

Psychologists have focused on exploring the relationship between romantic love and negative emotions in individuals with mental illnesses. Lafontaine et al. ( 2020 ) found a correlation between romantic love insecurity, specifically anxiety and avoidance, and the occurrence of intimate partner violence (IPV). This pattern of behavior was shown to undermine relationships and diminish individuals’ sense of security. Moreover, individuals with schizophrenia and other mental health conditions faced significant challenges in building and sustaining healthy interpersonal connections, partly due to the enduring stigma associated with mental illness (Budziszewska et al. 2020 ). Biological researchers have delved into the physiological activities and responses associated with romantic love. Furthermore, biological research has demonstrated that communication plays a crucial role in enhancing romantic relationships by facilitating physiological and behavioral adaptations between partners. For instance, a study by Zeevi et al. ( 2022 ) revealed that men and women in a romantic relationship can enhance their romantic interest in each other by synchronizing their skin electrical activities and modifying their behavior. These findings suggest that the social adaptation of the sympathetic nervous system and motor behavior play a critical role in the romantic attraction between partners. Furthermore, recent biological research conducted by Kerr et al. ( 2022 ) has discovered a correlation between unsuitable adult attachment in romantic relationships and the interpersonal circumplex, which is a component of personality pathology. Furthermore, a sociological study on pair-bonding conducted by Fletcher et al. ( 2015 ) highlighted that romantic love is intricately linked to the evolution and survival of Homo sapiens, making it a biologically significant function with profound evolutionary implications. Neuroscientists have examined the activation of different brain regions that are triggered by romantic love activities. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) has emerged as a prominent technique for studying the neurobiological basis of love. Researchers such as Acevedo et al. ( 2020 ) and Chester et al. ( 2021 ) have utilized fMRI to investigate the neural correlates of romantic love and gain insights into the brain mechanisms underlying this complex phenomenon. Neuroscientists have identified specific brain regions associated with love, including the insula and anterior cingulate cortex. These regions are involved in the processing of emotional experiences related to valued objects. A study by Bartels and Zeki ( 2000 ) highlighted the involvement of these brain regions in the experience of romantic love, shedding light on the neural mechanisms underlying the emotional aspects of love. The activation of reward-related areas in the brain, particularly those rich in oxytocin, has been observed in individuals experiencing love. Studies by Acevedo et al. ( 2012 ) and Bartels and Zeki ( 2004 ) have shown that regions associated with reward processing, such as the ventral tegmental area and nucleus accumbens, are involved in the experience of romantic love. Indeed, the involvement of the reward system in love has surpassed expectations. During the initial stages of romantic love, research conducted by Fisher et al. ( 2010 ) has shown that reward-related brain regions, including the bilateral ventral tegmental areas, are activated more strongly compared to the later stages of passion.

The social impact of romantic love

Undoubtedly, falling in love has a profound impact on people’s daily lives, as highlighted by research conducted by Quintard et al. ( 2021 ). Falling in love has been associated with enhanced well-being and has been correlated with fervor, activity, pleasure, and other positive emotions, as noted in research conducted by Langeslag ( 2022 ). However, it is important to acknowledge that the pitfalls of romantic love are often overlooked. Research, such as that conducted by Lonergan et al. ( 2022 ), has found associations between romantic love and criminal activity as well as psychological disorders. Additionally, studies by Aron et al. ( 2005 ), Merritt et al. ( 2022 ) and Li et al. ( 2022 ) have highlighted the presence of unpleasant affective states such as hyperarousal, anxiety, and depression in the context of romantic love. In recent decades, romantic love has undergone significant transformations that have had a substantial impact on both personal and societal life, as emphasized by research conducted by Reis et al. ( 2013 ).

The necessity of bibliometric analysis

Bibliometrics is a field that encompasses the quantitative study of documents, aiming to provide researchers with insights into academic, technological, and scientific advancements (William and Concepción 2001 ). The methodology utilized a range of techniques, including author analysis, concept mapping, clustering, factor analysis, and citation analysis, to investigate historical data and assist scholars in identifying significant trends and emerging directions within their disciplines (Daim et al. 2006 ; Hou et al. 2022 ). The term “bibliometrics” was coined by the distinguished British scientist Allen Richard in 1969, replacing the previously employed term “statistical bibliography.” In recent years, there has been a surging interest in this approach, with a growing number of researchers incorporating it into their work. Bibliometric analysis has been employed in various research domains, including the study of romantic love. These analyses offer valuable insights into the research areas that have been investigated, as well as potential future trends, challenges, and opportunities in the field. To the best of our knowledge, there have been limited previous publications that have specifically analyzed romantic love based on the triangular theory of love development and explored the concept across different disciplines.

In the current study, we utilized state-of-the-art analytical tools, including CiteSpace (6.2.R2), VOSviewer (1.6.18), Microsoft Excel (2019), and Scimago Graphica (1.0.26), in conjunction with the most recent data obtained from the Web of Science (WOS) core collection database. These tools allowed us to conduct a comprehensive bibliometric and visual analysis of publications related to romantic love published in the last decade. By employing these cutting-edge tools and leveraging the extensive data available from WOS, we aimed to gain valuable insights into the research landscape surrounding romantic love during this specific time frame. Our study aimed to achieve several objectives. First, we sought to identify the current research hotspots and trends within the field of romantic love. Second, we aimed to conduct an in-depth examination of visual maps and seminal articles, providing a comprehensive overview of the literature.

Material and methods

Data acquisition and search strategy.

The Web of Science (WOS) platform served as a valuable resource, containing a vast collection of over 9000 significant academic articles. This database stands as one of the oldest and most comprehensive citation index records, encompassing a wide range of disciplines, including social science, engineering technology, biomedicine, arts and humanities, and various other subjects. Since its establishment in 1900, the Web of Science (WOS) has served as a cornerstone of scholarly research and has wielded significant influence within academic circles (Ellegaard and Wallin 2015 ). The quantitative analysis feature of the platform facilitated the acquisition of various types of information related to scholarly publications. This included data on the annual number of papers published, papers published by state or region, popular journals within specific disciplines, frequently utilized publishing houses, and highly downloaded and cited literature. Indeed, references that receive multiple citations play a crucial role in providing a robust foundation for the study of romantic love, as emphasized by Xu et al. ( 2022 ).

The subject matter of romantic love and its interrelation with romantic relationships has a profound impact on the satisfaction and longevity of love between individuals, as highlighted by Zagefka ( 2022 ). Passionate love is a fundamental concept within romantic relationships, as emphasized by Mizrahi et al. ( 2022 ). Sternberg’s triangular theory of love stands as one of the most substantial and frequently referenced frameworks for understanding love, as noted by Sorokowski et al. ( 2021 ). To comprehensively explore the topic, the search strategy incorporated the inclusion of the following elements: The topic could encompass “romantic love,” OR “passionate love,” OR “romantic relationship,” OR “triangular theory of love.”‘ The search was conducted within the Web of Science Core Collection database, which covers the time period from 2013 to 2022. The database indexes the Science Citation Index Expanded (SCI-EXPANDED) and Social Science Citation Index-Expanded (SSCI-EXPANDED). The search was limited to publications written in the English language. To refine the search and focus on specific types of publications, certain categories were excluded from the search results. These excluded categories included early access, book chapters, proceeding papers, data papers, and retracted publications. By excluding these categories, the search aimed to prioritize reviews and articles, which are typically considered primary sources of scholarly information. As a result of these refined search criteria, a total of 6858 relevant items were identified and included in the analysis.

The retrieval strategy employed in this research was designed to maintain the integrity and impartiality of the search process (see Fig. 1 ).

To ensure that the search results were not influenced by daily database updates, all searches were conducted on a single day, specifically on March 26, 2023.

Analysis tool

For bibliometric analysis, the current study utilized a powerful combination of CiteSpace (6.2.R2), VOSviewer (1.6.18), Microsoft Excel (2019), and Scimago Graphica (1.0.26). These state-of-the-art software tools seamlessly integrated insights from scientometrics, information science, computer science, and other related fields to generate highly intuitive and informative visual maps. These maps revealed the development trajectory and structural underpinnings of scientific research. Indeed, each of these four software applications held unique and irreplaceable significance, excelling in specific domains of bibliometric analysis. Excel, for instance, demonstrated unparalleled proficiency in the intuitive transformation of charts. CiteSpace specialized in the clustering of topics and the delineation of the spatio-temporal background of words. VOSviewer played a pivotal role in both displaying and analyzing keywords, leveraging its distinctive capabilities. Lastly, Scimago Graphica contributed significantly to the geographical perspective of statistical analysis, offering insights that were unmatched in their comprehensiveness. Collectively, these tools not only proved indispensable but also brought their individual strengths to the forefront, contributing uniquely to the overall analytical landscape. Indeed, the Excel program was commonly employed to comprehensively analyze key data points such as the number of published papers, frequency of citations, and matched published documents. It was also employed to synthesize all the information for creating intuitive visual representations (Fig. 2 ) to illustrate the trends in the number of publications, citations, and their corresponding fitting functions during different periods. The use of CiteSpace in the current study was focused on highlighting the most salient occurrence burst on a timeline map and detecting the centrality of romantic love studies (Zhang et al. 2022a ). In order to attain a comprehensive understanding of the progress in romantic love research, an evolutionary analysis was undertaken, utilizing CiteSpace’s burst function. Co-occurrence analysis on pertinent keywords is another valuable method used to gain insights into the relationships and patterns among keywords in a specific research domain. Indeed, the analyses conducted, including the evolutionary analysis and co-occurrence analysis, facilitated an examination of the prevailing themes and trends of romantic love across different generations from a chronological perspective. VOSviewer, a powerful visualization tool, was utilized in the current study to portray the borders of romantic love with varying color clusters. It also facilitated the exploration of the co-occurrence of authors, institutions, and keywords associated with romantic love. The circles of various colors and sizes were used to represent the occurrence frequency of distinct cluster words and different keywords, respectively. The examination of keywords in the current study, augmented by chart analysis, delved into a more profound, comprehensive, and scientific level. Scimago Graphica 1.0.18, a tool designed for visualizing international collaboration, proved highly effective in the current study for facilitating the visualization of international collaboration (He et al. 2022 ). By organically combining the atlas and the world map, researchers were able to intuitively observe differences in the number of publications across various countries and the extent of national collaboration between different regions.

The trend exhibited an upward trajectory, with an estimated 938 publications in 2021, compared to 502 publications in 2013. Notably, the annual publication volume in the field of romantic love had reached its peak in 2021, as indicated by the fitted equation. However, it is worth mentioning that there was a slight decrease in publication numbers during specific periods. From 2017 to 2018, the annual publication count declined from 644 to 608. Similarly, from 2019 to 2020, there was a minor decrease from 872 to 861 publications annually. Additionally, there was a slight decline from 2021 to 2022, with the number of publications decreasing from 938 to 817 annually.

In the previous study, a comprehensive range of factors was considered to provide a thorough and scientifically rigorous atlas analysis of romantic love research. These factors included the annual publication rate, citation counts, H-index, impact factor, centrality, and occurrence/citation burst. An increase in the volume of publications can indicate the growth of a field and provide insights into future research directions (Wang 2016 ). While the number of citations a paper receives may not directly measure an author’s academic influence, it can indicate the recognition of the author’s work by peers worldwide. The “H-index” was a tool for evaluating academic influence, where a researcher with an “H-index” of 10 had 10 papers that had been cited at least 10 times (Wang et al. 2021 ). Since its inception in the 1950s, the impact factor has been widely regarded as a prominent index for ranking scientific literature. It has become an emblem of the prestige and significance of journals and authors in determining the relevance of a journal (Oosthuizen and Fenton 2014 ). For the current study, Journal Citation Reports (JCR) were utilized to calculate impact factors (2021). The centrality of research objects can indeed reflect their impact on the entire field, with greater centrality indicating a greater representation of homologous study content within a subject area. In the study conducted by Gao et al. ( 2021 ), betweenness centrality scores were adjusted to the range of [0, 1]. Specifically, if the betweenness centrality score of a main keyword exceeded 0.10, it was considered to indicate the significance of the study target. In the study conducted by Xu et al. ( 2022 ), the concept of a “burst term” was utilized to refer to an unexpected term that emerged in the research, potentially indicating new directions or orientations discovered during the investigation. The Kleinberg burst detection method, which is implemented in the CiteSpace software, was employed to identify these burst terms and highlight them as indicators of frontier research.

Publication outputs

A total of 6858 records met the search criteria. As depicted in Fig. 2 , the number of annual publications in the field of romantic love has shown a consistent upward trend since 2013. This increase is accompanied by a corresponding surge in citation counts, as indicated by the fitted equation. Citation counts in the field of romantic love have also experienced a significant upsurge since 2013, with an approximate 90-fold increase by 2022. Furthermore, based on current trends and fitting curves, the number of studies in this field is expected to continue rising, with an increasing number of researchers focusing on this topic.

Distribution by journals

The current study retrieved a total of 6858 records from 1251 journals, with ~33.79% of the material published by 20 publications that released more than 50 papers in this field. The top ten journals, accounting for 23.78% (92–400) of all papers published, had an average publication count of 134 papers per journal (see Table 1 ). Among them, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (400 publications, IF 2021 = 2.681) had the highest number of papers on romantic love research, followed by Personal Relationships (189 publications, IF 2021 = 1.528), and Personality and Individual Differences (185 publications, IF 2021 = 3.950). Notably, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology was the most influential professional core journal in this field, boasting the highest impact factor (8.460). Both European and American journals have made significant contributions to this field, with the United States and the United Kingdom accounting for 40% and 50% of the top 10 journal publishing countries/regions, respectively. The impact factors of the top 10 most-published journals ranged from 1.528 to 8.460, with an average of 4.070. It is worth noting that publishing romantic love-related articles in high-impact journals remains challenging.

Distribution by authors and research areas

A staggering 15,088 authors contributed to the total number of papers. In Fig. 3 , the collaborative efforts of the writers were illustrated through a network map, where the connections between the nodes signified their collaborative affiliations. Among the top three clusters, the red cluster included authors Joseph P. Allen, Martine Hebert, and Marie-France Lafontaine, who had converged due to their shared research interests in adolescent dating violence and aggression (Cenat et al. 2022 ; Niolon et al. 2015 ). The blue cluster consisted of authors Frank D. Fincham, James K. Monk, and Ashley K. Randall, who had explored the interplay between relationship satisfaction, stress, and relationship maintenance in romantic relationships (Randall and Bodenmann 2017 ; Vennum et al. 2017 ). The yellow cluster included authors Todd K. Shackelford, William J. Chopik, and Justin K. Mogilski, whose work focused on the topic of polygamy (Moors et al. 2019 ; Sela et al. 2017 ). Martine Hebert, Todd K. Shackelford, Frank D. Fincham, and Emily A. Impett emerged as the cooperative network’s central nodes, underscoring their crucial role in advancing research on romantic love.

The authors’ cooperative network was partitioned into eight distinct clusters.

Table 2 provided a rundown of the most productive authors, with their published works ranging from 28 to 74 publications, averaging 41. The H-index, a yardstick for measuring academic influence, was employed to assess their impact. Notably, Emily A. Impett emerged as the dominant force within the cohort of scholars dedicated to the study of romantic love, having authored the most papers among the group (74 publications, H-index = 38). Additionally, Nickola C. Overall (42 publications, H-index = 19) and Amy Muise (60 publications, H-index = 30) also featured prominently as leading contributors to the field.

Table 3 and Fig. 4 displayed the number of publications in different fields of study related to the topic of romantic love. Notably, publications in the fields of biology, neuroscience, and economics were also included in Table 3 . The humanities were increasingly collaborating on romantic love research. Furthermore, the topic of romantic love was gaining popularity in the fields of psychology and sociology.

The field of psychology, including psychology and psychiatry, was significantly ahead. The field of sociology encompassed various topics in the social sciences, including sociology and social work.

Distribution by country and institution

A total of 6858 publications had been published and disseminated to 104 countries and regions worldwide. In the country analysis, Scimago Graphica had been used to explore the geographic collaboration network of participating nations. The participants of the current study were drawn from 104 different countries spanning Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, and South America, with Europe exhibiting the highest level of overall engagement, underscoring the global trend toward collaboration. The United States and the United Kingdom had demonstrated the greatest degree of cooperation. Notably, China, South Africa, Spain, Italy, France, and other countries with high cooperation densities had formed the most significant multi-center cooperation network in this field (see Fig. 5 ). Figure 6 illustrated international collaboration.

By leveraging Scimago Graphica, it was possible to merge geographical perspectives with national publications and collaborative relationships, providing an intuitive and scientific method to illuminate the various conditions of countries involved in the research on romantic love.

The largest blue cluster was comprised of the United States, China, Switzerland, Turkey, and Norway, demonstrating collaboration across the Americas, Europe, and East Asia.

Table 4 outlined the specifics of the top ten countries in the landscape of romantic love research. The United States topped the list with 4092 publications, followed by Canada with 802 publications, and the United Kingdom with 540 publications. It is noteworthy that the majority of publications were disseminated from high-income countries, aligning with the overall prosperity of those nations. Most papers were disseminated in high-income countries. This trend might have stemmed from the overarching principles governing scientific inquiry, or it could be attributed to authors in these nations having the freedom to engage in research spanning areas not necessarily centered on economic growth. However, within the realm of general well-being, this emerges as a pertinent concern. Primarily, high-income countries historically boasted more affluent reservoirs of research resources, encompassing financial backing, cutting-edge equipment, and a pool of adept talent. This affluence empowered researchers in these nations to embark on a diverse array of investigations, spanning domains intricately tied to economic growth and extending to those delving into broader realms such as general well-being and social development. The discernible divergence in resource allocation likely contributed to the disproportionate prevalence of publications in high-income countries. Secondarily, the scrutiny of whether the romantic love research domain intricately correlates with economic growth warrants profound contemplation. At times, the merit of research doesn’t solely reside in its potential to spur short-term economic growth but extends to its impact on the overarching well-being and sustainable evolution of society. High-income countries, historically oriented toward prioritizing protracted social well-being, manifested a proclivity to endorse research that, while not directly contributing to economic growth, played an indispensable role in the comprehensive development of society. Institutional collaboration was vividly portrayed in Fig. 7 , which consisted of six clusters. A total of 3328 institutions contributed to the 6858 articles on romantic love. Of the top 10 organizations, universities occupied the top spot (as indicated in Table 5 ), with the State University System of Florida (246 publications), the University System of Ohio (248 publications), and the University of California System (365 publications) leading the pack. Notably, nine out of the top 10 institutions hailed from the United States, which was a testament to the country’s exceptional research prowess in this field.

The red cluster denoted collaboration among Florida State University, University of Michigan, University of Washington, and Indiana University; the green cluster represented Ohio State University, University of Basel, and Nanyang Technological University; while the blue cluster embodied York University, the University of Toronto, Northwestern University, and Carleton University. Northwestern University, Florida State University, the University of Minnesota, and the University of Toronto were the major nodes in the cooperative network.

Analysis of references

Reference analysis played a critical role in bibliometric research, as the references with the highest citation bursts formed the foundation of knowledge at the forefront of research (Fitzpatrick 2005 ). In Fig. 8 , the current study presented the most relevant references on romantic love, which had experienced a surge in citations over the past decade. By the end of 2022, Mikulincer and Shaver’s ( 2016 ) articles had seen a significant increase in their citation counts, with the highest spike (14.35) observed in 2016, followed by Wincentak et al.’s ( 2017 ) studies (9.9). These two studies had been widely cited over the years and accurately captured the latest trends in romantic love research.

These references were represented by red and green bars, indicating their frequent and less frequent citation, respectively.

Mikulincer and Shaver’s ( 2016 ) delved into the causes and methods for measuring individual differences in adult attachment, as well as how to modify attachment styles, using several empirical studies. Additionally, they explored the cutting-edge genetics, neurological, and hormonal substrates of attachment, expanding the impact model’s depiction of how the attachment system functioned. In the study, Wincentak et al. ( 2017 ) discussed the prevalence of dating violence among adolescents of different genders using a meta-analysis method, while also examining the potential regulatory effects of age, demographics, and measurement. Research has shown that in adolescent dating violence, the crime rate of women was significantly lower than that of men. Based on the analysis of these articles, current research trends in romantic love included adult attachment and the examination of adolescents’ irrational beliefs about love and the resulting adverse consequences, such as dating violence.

Analysis of keywords

Keyword burst refers to keywords that have shown a sharp increase in frequency over time, enabling the assessment of the current study focus in this area and reflecting the development pattern of future research. The current study extracted the burst terms of various years in the area of romantic love to obtain the burst terms of various years in the area of romantic love (see Fig. 9 ). As we’ve seen, the field had a diverse range of research interests. By the end of 2022, the three words with the highest peak were “same-sex” (2020–2022), “conflict resolution” (2020–2022), and “social relationships” (2020–2022):

Same-sex: in a society that valued heterosexual relationships, same-sex relationships were often met with shame and stigma, leading to additional pressures uniquely linked to their sexual orientation and partnership (Feinstein et al. 2018 ; Rostosky and Riggle 2017 ). Moreover, the online conduct of gay individuals has been demonstrated to have significant implications for their sexual risk behaviors and emotional well-being in romantic relationships (Zhang et al. 2022b ). The development of effective dual interventions has been shown to enhance the health and well-being of same-sex couples and their families. These interventions should also educate parents about the potential negative effects of heteronormative assumptions and attitudes on their children’s positive adolescent development (Pearson and Wilkinson 2013 ).

Conflict resolution: previous research has shown the irony that a person’s favorite individual, such as their romantic partner, is often the very person with whom they engage in destructive behavior during conflicts, making this destructive response one of the most challenging issues in relationships (Alonso-Ferres et al. 2021 ). As a result, it was critical to effectively resolve conflicts in a constructive manner. The emergence of computer-mediated communication (CMC) as a novel conflict resolution approach prompted researchers to explore this matter. Ultimately, they discovered that there were no differences in pain, anger, and conflict resolution levels between face-to-face and CMC discussions (Pollmann et al. 2020 ). Another study focused on neural activity during conflict resolution, revealing that mediation could enhance conflict resolution and was linked to increased activity in the nucleus accumbens, a crucial area of the brain’s reward circuit (Rafi et al. 2020 ). The finding emphasizes the importance of identifying neural mechanisms that could enhance conflict resolution and improve relationship outcomes. By exploring various conflict resolution approaches and associated neural mechanisms, researchers can facilitate a deeper understanding of how to successfully resolve conflicts and enhance relationship satisfaction.

Social relationships: long-term relationships are vital to the mental health of both humans and animals. Positive emotions and experiences, such as romantic or platonic love, play a significant role in the establishment and maintenance of social bonds. With this in mind, researchers integrated brain imaging studies on emotions characterized by social connections to investigate whether and how humans and animals experience social emotions and influences similarly in the context of social relationships (Zablocki-Thomas et al. 2022 ). An ecological and cross-cutting perspective study found that black Americans viewed their partner’s interactions regarding discrimination as an opportunity for their romantic partner to offer support, as revealed in semi-structured interviews (Rice 2023 ). Furthermore, as romantic relationships represent one of the most unique types of social connections, researchers utilized functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scanning techniques to explore the neurobiological mechanisms of romantic relationships (Eckstein et al. 2023 ), offering valuable insight for the preservation and maintenance of social relationships and interactions.

Over the last 10 years, the most popular keywords were “same-sex” (11.07), “dating relationships” (9.22), and “HIV” (9.05), indicating high demand for these topics in recent years. The keywords with the longest blasting times were “dating relationships” (2014–2017) and “delinquency” (2014–2017). The phrases that were still trending in 2022 were hotspots.

Figure 10 illustrated the relationship between keywords. The connection strength between two nodes was a quantitative measure of their relationship. The most frequently used keyword, “romantic relationship,” was represented by the largest node in Fig. 10 (see Table 6 ). The “romantic relationship” (2036) node had thicker lines than “attachment” (766), “gender” (728), “satisfaction” (664), “behavior” (529), “marriage” (508), “commitment” (419), “adolescents” (417), “associations” (395), and “intimate partner relationship” (336). The nodes had a minimum link strength of 150. The close connections between “romantic relationship” and “marriage,” “commitment,” and “intimate partnership” demonstrated the importance of stable, long-term relationships in maintaining romantic love (Fu et al. 2012 ).

The connection strength between two nodes was a quantitative measure of their relationship. The total link strength of a node was the sum of its link strengths relative to all other nodes (Liao et al. 2018).

Keywords are essential in identifying the central themes and prospective avenues of a publication. By examining the co-occurrence of keywords, one can discern the current trajectory of research and development in a specific field (Zhang et al. 2022c ). In the present investigation, a total of 16,148 keywords were extracted from 6858 articles related to romantic love, with 10,571 being used only once, accounting for 65.46% of the total keywords. Through keyword co-occurrence analysis, six distinct color-coded clusters were identified, comprising attachment, gender, romantic relationships, personality, communication, and dynamics. The red cluster, attachment, delved into the complex relationships among commitment, fulfillment, companionship, and attachment insecurity. To address the diminished satisfaction in partner relationships caused by attachment insecurity, promoting healthy dualistic coping strategies (DCS) was recommended (Peloquin et al. 2022 ). The green cluster, gender, focused on the issues of dating violence victimization experienced by young individuals of different genders, with sexual minorities being particularly vulnerable to bullying (Cosma et al. 2022 ). The blue cluster, romantic connections, primarily examined the link between depressive symptoms and violent intimate partner relationships. Recent studies showed that dating violence and peer victimization were prevalent among young individuals (Smith et al. 2021 ) and that dating aggression was associated with both internalized and externalized psychopathology in young couples (Lantagne and Furman 2021 ). Additionally, the misuse of internet dating may lead to depression (Toplu-Demirtas et al. 2020 ). Apart from the six clusters mentioned, there was a noticeable trend toward integrating research with neuroimaging technology, which might lead to the emergence of new clusters in the realm of romantic love. The interconnectedness of attachment, gender, and romantic relationships was evident in the strong theoretical foundation and widespread attention these clusters received, whereas the clusters of personality, communication, and dynamics were more peripherally related. Due to their significance, future research on romantic love will continue to explore topics such as intimate partner violence, teenage dating violence victimization, attachment insecurity, and sexual abuse, with a focus on the three interconnected clusters of attachment, gender, and romantic relationships. In traditional notions, our understanding of romantic love had primarily consisted of terms such as romantic relationships and intimate commitments. However, practical issues such as misperceptions about love and a lack of regard for partners have gradually shifted the subject matter of research pertaining to romantic love toward dating violence. The research trajectory demonstrates a shift in the focus of romantic love research from a more idealized perspective toward a more realistic one. Finally, Fig. 11 displayed a keyword timeline graph that depicted when the most prevalent keywords first appeared and their evolving importance over time.

This keyword timeline graph was depicted when the most prevalent keywords first appeared and their evolving importance over time.

The current study used advanced bibliometrics and literature data visualization techniques with CiteSpace, VOSviewer, and Web of Science to examine the growth of research publications in the field of romantic love, as well as the main research nations, journals, and emerging trends. The thorough review provided insight into the present status of development and research in this field, while also clarifying the historical path of scholarship and providing clear guidance for future research. Using bibliometric methods, the study investigated romantic love research from 2013 to 2022. The results showed a steady increase in publications on this topic, with a slight decrease noted in 2019, likely due to the detrimental impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on academic research. However, the analysis of current trends indicates a projected increase in research output on romantic love in the coming years.

Romantic love has been a global phenomenon, with Europe and the United States leading in widespread participation and clear concentration. Among the top 10 countries producing research in this field, the United States led with 4092 publications between 2013 and 2022. China, ranking fourth in terms of publications, emerged as the most prolific developing nation (328). However, compared to the United States, China lagged behind in publications and international collaboration. Therefore, China needs to expand its research efforts in this area and broaden its international partnerships. The top ten research institutions, mainly universities, played a vital role in advancing this field. Notably, nine out of ten of these institutions were located in the United States, further highlighting the preeminent position of American academic institutions in this area of study.

In the current study, we have discovered noteworthy findings regarding notable authors in the field of romantic love. The research studies have primarily focused on four distinct perspectives: the Limerence Theory, the Rate of Change in Intimacy Model, the Self-Expansion Model, and the Triangular Theory of Love. These perspectives have proposed four possible sources of romantic passion and assessed empirical evidence for and against each. Among the authors, Emily A. Impett has emerged as the most prolific author (Carswell and Impett 2021 ). Frank D. Fincham, who has the highest H-index, has conducted extensive research on the interplay between mindfulness and idiosyncratic mindfulness in romantic relationships. Notably, his research on adolescent intimate partner violence has received the most citations (Cui et al. 2013 ; Frank and Ross 2017 ; Kimmes et al. 2018 ). Furthermore, we found that an author’s centrality and citation frequency did not always correlate with their number of publications, indicating that various factors had contributed to an author’s academic influence (Zhang et al. 2022a ).

The term “burst term” refers to a term that unexpectedly appears in research and may indicate new directions or a novel perspective derived from research (Xu et al. 2022 ). According to Fig. 8 , the following references experienced a citation burst by the end of 2022: (1) Mikulincer and Shaver ( 2016 ) delved into the causes and measures of individual differences in adult attachment, explored the modifiability of attachment styles, and unveiled cutting-edge research in genetics, neurology, and hormones associated with attachment. They also extended the impact model’s depiction of the attachment system’s operation. (2) Wincentak et al. ( 2017 ) conducted a meta-analysis to investigate the prevalence of dating violence among adolescents of various genders, while also examining the potential impact of age, demographic factors, and measurement methods. Their findings suggested that the rate of perpetration of dating violence was significantly higher among male adolescents than female adolescents. In other words, male adolescents were more likely to engage in dating violence than their female counterparts. This gender difference in dating violence rates highlighted the need for targeted prevention and intervention efforts to address this issue among young people.

CiteSpace displayed keywords in bursts, as shown in Fig. 9 . These data were significant for reference in cutting-edge prediction research. The terms “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships” might be used frequently in the coming years, indicating potential areas of focus within the domain of romantic love:

Same-sex: same-sex relationships faced unique pressures and stigma in a society that largely valued heterosexual partnerships, leading to feelings of shame and additional stressors based on sexual orientation (Feinstein et al. 2018 ; Rostosky and Riggle 2017 ). Notably, studies have revealed that the online behavior of gay individuals could significantly impact their emotional well-being and sexual risk behaviors within their romantic relationships (Zhang et al. 2022b ). To improve the health and well-being of same-sex couples and their families, effective dual interventions have been developed, including educating parents about the potential harm caused by heteronormative assumptions and attitudes on their children’s adolescent development (Pearson and Wilkinson 2013 ).

Conflict resolution: prior research has revealed the paradox that a person’s beloved partner, such as their significant other, is often the individual with whom they engage in harmful behavior during conflicts. The negative reaction could be one of the most challenging issues in a relationship (Alonso-Ferres et al. 2021 ). Therefore, it is imperative to resolve conflicts in a successful manner. Computer-mediated communication (CMC) has emerged as a novel approach to conflict resolution, and researchers have investigated this matter, concluding that there are no disparities in the levels of pain, anger, and conflict resolution between face-to-face and CMC discussions (Pollmann et al. 2020 ). Another study explored the neural mechanisms during conflict resolution, and researchers discovered that mediation could improve conflict resolution and was linked to elevated activity in the nucleus accumbens, a crucial area in the brain’s reward circuit (Rafi et al. 2020 ).

Social relationships: long-term relationships play a critical role in maintaining the mental health of both humans and animals. Positive emotions and emotional experiences, such as romantic or platonic love, are intricately linked to the formation and sustenance of social bonds. To gain insights into how social emotions manifest in both humans and animals, researchers integrated brain imaging studies of emotions associated with social connections (Zablocki-Thomas et al. 2022 ). From an ecological and cross-cutting perspective, another study found that Black Americans viewed their partner’s interactions around discrimination as an opportunity for their romantic partner to provide support, as revealed in semi-structured interviews (Rice 2023 ). Furthermore, given the unique nature of romantic relationships in social interactions, researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) techniques to investigate the neurobiological mechanisms of such relationships (Eckstein et al. 2023 ), which could serve as a reference for the preservation and cultivation of social relationships.

To our knowledge, our study represented a novel application of quantitative bibliometric tools such as CiteSpace and VOSviewer to analyze the literature on romantic love over the past decade. While our analysis yielded intriguing insights into the research landscape of this field, our study was not without limitations. First and foremost, our sample was limited to articles and reviews available in a single database, and thus, may not have been fully representative of the entire research landscape on this topic. Second, the current study restricted our data collection to English-language publications, and future studies may benefit from including publications in other languages to ensure a more comprehensive analysis. Additionally, including different types of publications, such as conference papers and working papers, might have provided further insights into recent advancements in the field. Furthermore, it could be acknowledged that the analysis in the current study could be expanded to consider the contributions of other scholars and institutions in the field, beyond those captured by our data set. Finally, while the bibliometric tools used in our analysis were objective, our interpretation of the results remained subjective and may have been subject to varying interpretations.

Concluding remarks

Research significance and future development.

The present study’s comprehensive analysis of the literature on romantic love, as well as its reporting of research findings across diverse domains over the past decade, offered a solid groundwork for future research and potential worldwide applications. From 2013 to 2022, a staggering 6858 articles and reviews on romantic love were published globally, indicating a bright future for this field of inquiry. In terms of research potency, the United States led the pack, with the University of California System accounting for the majority of publications in the area of romantic love, and Emily A. Impett ranking as the most prolific contributor. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships had published the most articles on romantic love research, while the most recent trends in romantic love-related keywords included “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships.” The current research was predominantly centered around intimate relationships, evolutionary psychology, sexual orientation, and symptoms of depression. The trends elucidated by these findings underscore the holistic and interdisciplinary nature of romantic love within the realms of psychology, sociology, biology, and neuroscience. Subsequent investigations into romantic love hold the promise of a more profound amalgamation of methodologies derived from psychology and neuroscience, thereby illuminating the physiological underpinnings of love and emotional experiences. This prospect entails a meticulous exploration of brain activity, probing how intricate psychological processes intertwine with biology to forge the intricacies of romantic relationships. Furthermore, romantic love research stands poised to cultivate seamless integration and interdisciplinary cooperation across a spectrum of fields in the future, yielding profound ramifications.

Method limitation

The current study, which utilized tools such as CiteSpace and Vosviewer for a quantitative analysis of the literature on romantic love over the past 10 years, is the first of its kind to our knowledge. Our investigation, though producing intriguing results through bibliometric analysis and visualization of related articles, is not without its limitations. Firstly, the samples utilized were limited to a single database (WOS), which may not encompass all relevant publications on the subject. Secondly, the scope of our data collection was limited to articles and reviews in English only, leaving out potential information from other types of publications such as working papers and conference papers. In future studies, a broader consideration of different languages should also be given. Additionally, the neural mechanism and physiological function of romantic love remain an under-researched area with limited empirical evidence to support ongoing controversy.

Data availability

Original data for the current study are available via this link: https://rec.ustc.edu.cn/share/0d874150-b039-11ee-be97-f5a41b2eeb6e .

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This research was supported by the Starting Fund for Scientific Research of High-Level Talents at Anhui Agricultural University (rc432206) and the Outstanding Youth Program of Philosophy and Social Sciences in Anhui Province (2022AH030089) to SL.

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Han, Y., Luo, Y., Chen, Z. et al. A decade of love: mapping the landscape of romantic love research through bibliometric analysis. Humanit Soc Sci Commun 11 , 187 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1057/s41599-024-02665-7

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The science of online dating

Giovanni frazzetto.

1 BIOS Centre, London School of Economics, London, UK

Can the application of science to unravel the biological basis of love complement the traditional, romantic ideal of finding a soul mate?

As the saying goes, “love defies all calculation”. Yet, this apparently obvious assertion is challenged by the intrusion of science into matters of love, including the application of scientific analysis to modern forms of courtship. An increasing number of dating services boast about their use of biological research and genetic testing to better match prospective partners. Yet, while research continues to disentangle the complex factors that make humans fall in love, the application of this research remains dubious.

…while research continues to disentangle the complex factors that make humans fall in love, the application of this research remains dubious

With the rise of the internet and profound changes in contemporary lifestyles, online dating has gained enormous popularity among aspiring lovers of all ages. Long working hours, increasing mobility and the dissolution of traditional modes of socialization mean that people use chat rooms and professional dating services to find partners. Despite the current economic downturn, the online dating industry continues to flourish. With subscription prices between €20 and €30 per month, romance-seekers are turning away from the traditional—and often expensive—strategies of meeting people casually in bars and restaurants, and are instead opting for less spontaneous, but practical, cheap online services that allow them to find a soul mate from the comfort of their desk.

EasyDate.biz, one of the most popular websites that match people according to their hobbies, preferences and interests, has increased annual profits 30-fold since 2006 and has made around £6 million in revenues this year ( Espinoza, 2009 ). Large metropolitan cities boast the highest number of active online dating accounts, with New York totalling a greater number of subscriptions on Match.com than any other city in the USA—accounting for 8% of the company's active members ( Sherman, 2009 ).

Most dating services match subscribers based on metrics that include education and professional background, personal interests, hobbies, values, relationship skills and life goals. These websites use a range of personality tests and psychological assessments to build lists of traits that individuals seek in an ideal partner. Yet, in this modern era of personalized genomes and DNA-based crime fighting, the new generation of online dating services has added one more parameter: biology. “Love is no coincidence”, they proclaim, promising to provide longer-lasting matches based on the science of attraction and romantic love.

Indeed, biological anthropologists and neuroscientists are already dissecting the chemical ingredients of love, from the basic sex drive to romantic love, including the feeling of security that we achieve when we are attached to a specific mate for the long term ( Bartels & Zeki, 2000 ; 2004 ; Fisher et al , 2002 ; Zeki, 2007 ). Such studies aim to unravel both the genetic factors and the neural circuits that underlie love. So far, scientists have revealed that the relevant regions of the brain are mainly those involved in motivational and reward systems and are orchestrated by hormones and neurotransmitters ( Aaron et al , 2005 ). Love has accordingly been described as a chemical phenomenon and compared with a state of addiction ( Meloy & Fisher, 2005 ).

…the real question remains as to whether the use of genetics is proving more effective than traditional matching methods

“We fall in love with someone who has a different chemical profile for dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone that complements our own,” explained Helen Fisher, professor of anthropology at Rutgers University (New York, NY, USA) and chief scientific advisor to Chemistry.com. She created a test for the website—used by about eight million people to date—in which questions are designed to establish a range of basic information about brain and body chemistry associated with specific aspects of temperament and personality. For instance, measuring the ratio between the length of the index finger and the ring finger of the right hand, which is a marker for testosterone levels in the prenatal brain, is assumed to provide information about assertive, verbal, musical or analytical capabilities ( Wilson, 1983 ). Other questions determine a propensity to be curious or a tendency to seek novel experiences, supposedly based on dopamine levels in the brain.

Science-based dating services such as ScientificMatch.com or GenePartner.com promise lasting relationships on the basis of genetic information and match people based on differences between their imm-une systems. This approach draws on a study performed by Claus Wedekind and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland, who asked female volunteers to smell T-shirts that had been worn by men for three consecutive days and to rank them by attractiveness ( Wedekind et al , 1995 ). It turned out that the majority of the women were attracted to men whose immune systems differed most from their own—fulfilling the maxim that ‘opposites attract'. What accounted for the immune system differences at the genetic level were sequences in the genes encod-ing the human leukocyte antigen (HLA).

HLA genes control the activation of the immune response and are crucial for acquiring immunity; the greater the variety in the HLA genes, the greater the variety and success of the immune response. From an evolutionary point of view, it makes sense that individuals with opposite varieties would attract each other as this would lead to offspring with a broader range of HLA genes.

The customers of online dating services seem to buy the ‘hard science' sell. “We are receiving requests from a lot of customers who wish to know whether they can test their genetic compatibility with other subscribers in the same area where they live,” commented Tamara Brown, chief scientific officer at GenePartner.com, a company affiliated with the Swiss Institute for Behavioural Genetics (Adliswil, Switzerland). “Right now, the number of established couples willing to know whether their compatibility is confirmed genetically equals the number of singles who ask us to match them with other subscribers in our database.” Brown emphasised that the company uses biological compatibility to complement social, psychological and intellectual information, which, she said, will continue to play an important role in the formation of lasting relationships.

Some of the claimed advantages of having genetically compatible partners are a more satisfying sex life, a higher fertility rate and healthier children. Members of the gay community have complained about their exclusion from these benefits. However, research is already underway to find specific pheromone-induced brain responses in both homosexual men and women ( Berglund et al , 2006 ; Savic et al , 2005 ).

Although sequencing DNA to find a soul mate might sound like a ludicrous application of genetics, investigating the genetic compatibility of couples is already routine practice for groups or populations that have a high risk of specific severe genetic diseases. For instance, genetic tests are available in many Mediterranean countries that have a high prevalence of β-thalassaemia, a heritable disease of the blood that affects the body's ability to produce haemoglobin. To avoid having a child afflicted with this disease, β-thalassaemia carrier detection is mandatory for couples in Iran and several other Arab countries and is required by the religious authorities in Cyprus ( Zlotogora, 2009 ). The couples have to be informed of the test results before their marriage, but the choice is theirs of whether or not to marry. Genetic screening is also common among Ashkenazi Jews, who have a higher risk of suffering from one of several monogenetic diseases such as cystic fibrosis, Tay–Sachs or Bloom syndrome. These screening programmes have reduced considerably the number of babies affected by these diseases ( Kronn et al , 1998 ).

There is a kind of irony in online dating in that courtship and romantic love are profoundly physical experiences that manifest with symptoms including sweaty palms, reddened cheeks or tied tongues; but internet dating, owing to its virtual nature, is utterly disembodying. For Eva Illouz, professor of sociology and anthropology at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, Israel, this rearticulates the relationship between corporeality and emotions: in the absence of the body, emotions are supposed to flow freely between authentic aspects of the core self ( Illouz, 2007 ). Knowledge of another person therefore precedes the bodily attraction.

Websites such as ScientificMatch.com or GenePartner.com would thus include a ‘physical' factor by making genetic information the starting point for finding a match. Illouz pointed out that although online platforms are supposed to give subscribers the chance to highlight their own uniqueness, their self-representation frequently follows established canons of ‘conformity, standardization and reification'. By contrast, genetic information on biological compatibility is not standardized and genuinely represents an individual's uniqueness.

The use of biological information seems to reassure customers that they will find a better match. Nevertheless, the real question remains as to whether the use of genetics is proving more effective than traditional matching methods. Indeed, there is a good deal of skepticism concerning the reliability of DNA-based dating services. For example, there is some debate about the extent to which HLA diversity is actually reflected in a person's scent, and therefore whether such differences can genuinely be picked up by the body's olfactory bulbs.

Deciphering the genetics and neurochemistry of love might, therefore, cast a disenchanting shadow over some cultural practices

“I think that matching people by personality types or interests may be very useful. However, I do not believe that any service that claims to use genetic information, or any estimation of neurochemistry (based on personality or genotype) has any basis in reality,” argued Larry J. Young, a principal investigator in the Laboratory of Social Neurobiology at Emory University (Atlanta, GA, USA). Young, who investigates the genetics and molecular mechanisms behind social attachment, pointed out that although we might be beginning to understand how some genes contribute to social relationships, or how certain neuropeptides or transmitters are involved in the formation of relationships in rodents, “the situation is far, far too complex to begin to think we can pick ‘the perfect match' based on this information. These companies are taking advantage of a public who have been educated by the media.”

Courtship, seduction and romantic love are complex phenomena that involve many genes and a multitude of social and cultural factors. Deciphering the genetics and neurochemistry of love might, therefore, cast a disenchanting shadow over some cultural practices. In this regard, a Shakespearean sonnet, or other works of classical romance might still prove more instructive and interesting for anyone desirous to understand the rules and excitement of courtship and love than would taking a genetic test.

Haunted by the inherent uncertainties of life, people are drawn to any service or person that promises to predict the future…

“You can know any single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake and still find it delicious. You can know every single part of an engine in a Bentley or a Ferrari, and still feel the rush and joy of driving it. The same applies to love,” Fisher said. “The more you know about the brain circuitry of romantic love, the more you can operate with innate natural wisdom to make better decisions.” She also suggested that finding the chemical or genetic basis for why love sometimes fails might well be more effective than spending years trying to decipher intangible psychoanalytical reasons. “The primordial ways by which men and women flirt and fall in love will just continue. A little bit of knowledge about the relevant brain mechanisms just refines this ancient process. So, I don't think that you can equate knowledge with lack of magic,” Fisher said.

More serious concerns have been raised about the possible misapplication of the growing knowledge of emotional chemistry to manipulate the brain and enhance or diminish emotions for others—in essence, the creation of love potions. The idea is not too far-fetched: experiments have shown that a squirt of the hormone oxytocin enhances trust in other people ( Kosfeld et al , 2005 ), and internet drugs sellers are already marketing products such as ‘Enhanced Liquid Trust', which claims to “boost the dating and relationship area of your life” ( www.verolabs.com ).

“I don't think that these kinds of science-based approaches are going to become any more popular than the many other approaches out there designed to find a match. People will always be selling the ‘new' way to find true love,” Young commented. “Regarding the manipulation of feelings with drugs, I am not sure how this will turn out in the public in the long term. We already try that by buying our prospective partners flowers, candy, romantic settings, hugging and kissing, all of which stimulate the chemistry of love, such as dopamine or oxytocin.”

More generally, the use of genetic knowledge and technology to predict intimate aspects of our lives confirms the persistence of naive biological determinism among the public. Indeed, it is the belief in the informative value of such tests that evokes the simplistic talk of a ‘gene for' a given human trait. In the case of finding the perfect mate, modern changes to contemporary lifestyles and social connectedness, as well as the difficulty of actually finding the right partner, mean that this simplistic view of the role of genes is driving would-be lovers to services that claim to offer science-based fixes.

But love is ambiguous, unpredictable and hardly respectful of laws

In addition to the potentially disenchanting effect of using science to prescribe romance, emotional compatibility and loving relationships, the increasing tendency to apply genetics to multiple areas of social interaction and behaviour raises more general issues about the growing encroachment of genetics and neuroscience into personal lives. The use of technologies that read whole genomes and profile brain activities in order to provide people with an assessment of their chances of finding love with a certain person might be a part of what sociologist Sir Anthony Giddens at the London School of Economics in the UK has called the ‘colonisation' of the future ( Giddens, 1991 ). Haunted by the inherent uncertainties of life, people are drawn to any service or person that promises to predict the future—from tarot cards to palm readers, and even to genetic tests. Perhaps it was therefore only a matter of time before biology became entangled in attempting to predict the budding of love and the outcome of relationships. But love is ambiguous, unpredictable and hardly respectful of laws. As the Roman poet Horace said to one of his lovers: “Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what final fate the gods have given to me and you, Leuconoe, and don't play with Babylonian horoscopes.”

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9 The Study of Online Relationships and Dating

Barrie Gunter is Professor of Mass Communication, Department of Media and Communication, University of Leicester, UK.

• Published: 12 March 2013
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This chapter, which investigates a range of evidence about online dating behaviour, and a synthesis of approaches to research in this area, also evaluates the nature of the market and the experiences of those who have engaged in online dating. Further issues linked with patterns of online self-disclosure and self-presentation, and concerns about deception in online dating, are then assessed. Corporate data have indicated that the online dating business is mostly on an upward trajectory. Data show greater age difference tolerance of online daters and a willingness to adopt a broader selection of partners compared with offline-only daters. Many online dating site users increasingly fail to be fully engaged by sites that offer search opportunities for partner matches using check-box profiling. The issues of deception and trust in relation to personal profiles have been regarded as problematic factors that could cause tension among online daters.

Introduction

The Internet has long been a social medium that is used to facilitate communication with others through a number of different modalities. The early centrality of email has been augmented by new modes of text, audio, and video for interpersonal communication. It has therefore opened up multiple opportunities for people to make new social contacts through generic online tools that can be adapted to idiosyncratic applications, such as social networking sites, and via more closed online services that are designed to provide specialist functions, such as online dating sites. In this context, online dating has emerged as one of the most widely used applications on the Internet. It has also developed into a highly profitable business with growing numbers of people worldwide being prepared to pay for access to services that will find them a romantic or sexual partner, or enhance their relationship prospects.

This chapter examines a range of evidence about online dating behavior, as well as a synthesis of approaches to research in this area. It examines the nature of the market and the experiences of those who have engaged in online dating. The market for online dating is both a “mass” and fragmented: that is, there are services that promote themselves to all comers and others that target specific sub-groups in society defined by demographics, socio-cultural factors, or special interests (The Internet Dating Guide 2007 ; Matchmaking Institute 2009 ). Questions about the motives that users display for online dating are examined. Further issues associated with patterns of online self-disclosure and self-presentation and concerns about deception in online dating are also examined. Online dating is also considered within a broader context of the “social” Internet.

Emergence of online dating

The use of advertising to find a romantic partner dates back to the nineteenth century with the phenomenon of mail-order brides and the matchmaker services found among certain communities—particularly those transplanted via migration to locations far distant from their original homelands (Jagger 1998 ; Steinfirst and Moran 1989 ). These services had restricted impact, however, and it was not until much later in the final quarter of the twentieth century that personal advertising for romantic or social partners became widely established (Bolig et al. 1984 ).

The potential for using the Internet as a method for finding a romantic or sexual partner has increased as the prevalence of Internet use has grown dramatically within a fairly short period of time. By June 2010, for instance, Internet penetration had almost reached two billion worldwide, or 29 percent of the world's population, and most people in developed nations and increasingly in developing countries now go online for a variety of purposes (Internet World Stats 2010 ).

In the twenty-first century, the adoption of the Internet has been driven increasingly by its use as a social communications medium. Online communication, most especially the use of email, was always one of the most widespread applications among Internet users (Horrigan 2001 ; Cole et al. 2004 ; Gunter et al. 2004 ). As web technology developed, more dynamic, real-time forms of communications evolved enabling online conversations to occur on a one-to-one or one-to-many basis. Social networking on the Internet quickly became widespread after 2003 with major brands such as Bebo, Facebook, and MySpace evolving dramatically from small-scale use among localized communities to global applications and millions of regular users. These tools became especially popular among young people (Lenhart 2007 ). These sites are also used in the context of romantic relationships, both to find new companions and to report upon the status of existing relationships.

Another factor associated with online dating is the growth, in many countries, of the proportion of the population that is single and therefore may potentially be in the market to find a partner. There is greater population mobility resulting in local community networks becoming diluted. In addition, career and time pressures are increasing for many people and make it more difficult for growing numbers of singles to find romantic partners (Barraket and Henry-Waring 2004 ; Hardey 2002 ). Online dating represents a more convenient search tool where external support is available to provide singles with a shop window of choice of potential partners brought straight to their computer screen. A further factor of relevance in this context is the decline of workplace romances in the face of sexual harassment concerns (see Brym and Lenton 2001 ).

Given the scale of the online dating phenomenon and the significance of the issues with which it is concerned, it is important that we develop a comprehensive understanding of why people engage with it and with what desired outcomes. Any online activity that involves some degree of self-disclosure in a public arena in which unseen and unknown observers are present and whose motives may not always be transparent or truthfully expressed, carries a degree of risk. The significance of this “risk assessment” is underlined by observations that people can develop deep emotional attachments to others they meet online that are every bit as powerful as offline relationships (McKenna et al. 2002 ; Walther and Parks 2002 ). Furthermore, such online connections can lead to short-term or sometimes lasting intimate relationships in real physical life (Joinson 2001 , 2003 ; McKenna 2007 ).

What is the prevalence of Internet dating?

Online dating estimates derive from a number of sources. These include self-report estimates made by respondents in ad hoc surveys, online digital log measures of website hit rates, and corporate data released by major online dating companies about their customer bases.

Corporate evidence

Internet dating companies provide some data about use of their sites and this can vary in quantity and quality, ranging from generalized statistical information about memberships or customer bases to more detailed market or social scientific research on specific aspects of dating behavior. Corporate research is impressive in terms of its scale, but less so in respect of the insights it can provide into the subtleties of online dating behavior that enhance our understanding of it. Even as measures of market size, corporate data need validation from independent sources of market analysis because user data, as reported on corporate websites, are an integral part of corporate promotions, where a key agenda is to attract yet more users.

Corporate data have indicated that the online dating business is mostly on an upward trajectory. The economic recession in 2007–09 did not seem to affect this growth. Many online dating agencies reported significant increases in both membership lists and revenues during this period (Dawley 2008 ; Espinoza 2009 ).

Self-report evidence

Questionnaire-based surveys in which respondents provide self-reports about their online dating activities derive from a number of different sources, including academics, commercial pollsters, and the industry itself. American research has found that although bars and clubs remain important meeting places, growing numbers of people report going online explicitly to find people to date (Fallows 2004 ; Madden and Lenhart 2006 ; Netimperative 2005 ). Similar evidence has emerged from the UK (Gunter et al. 2003 ; Gunter et al. 2004 ). Online dating is now widely seen as socially acceptable and not the behavior of desperate, lonely people (Madden and Lenhart 2006 ; Response Source 2008 ).

Online measurement

Continuous measurement of Internet use has also yielded data on the prevalence of online dating. A number of specialist marketing research agencies routinely monitor and measure Internet traffic. Among the leading data suppliers in this field are ComScore, Hitwise, and Nielsen.

ComScore ( 2006 ) reported that nearly one in five European Internet users (18 percent) visited online personals sites during the month of July 2006, which slightly exceeded the equivalent figure for North America (17 percent). This meant there were 38.2 million online dating site users in Europe and 29.1 million in North America. More recently, research by Nielsen, reported that American online dating sites attracted 27.5 million unique visitors in June 2009 (Comstock 2009 ).

What kinds of people use online dating?

Evidence has emerged from some markets, that the demographic profile of online daters does not match that of the general Internet-using population. Online dating was initially embraced by younger Internet users, but eventually spread to other age groups. It remains more popular among young adults in their 20s and 30s than any other age group (Brym and Lenton 2001 ; Madden and Lenhart 2006 ; Marketing Vox 2007 ; Gunter 2008 ). Evidence from academic and industry research has indicated only small degrees of user variance based on gender (Madden and Lenhart 2006 ; Hitwise 2007 ; Marketing Vox 2007 ).

Table 9.1 summarizes key findings from prominent studies of the demographics of online daters in different parts of the world. Men adopted this form of dating more extensively than did women early on, but over time both genders have come to make widespread use of such services. Online dating has also been popular among young people, mostly aged under 40 years, but again over time, old age-groups have increasingly used these services. Of particular significance is the extent to which people already in relationships, and not just those who are single, use online dating services. The findings reveal the varied motivations that can underpin online dating behavior.

It might be expected that most users of online dating sites would be individuals who are romantically unattached. There is mounting evidence, however, that this is not always true. Canadian research found that nearly one in five online dating site users (18 percent) were either married or in a live-in relationship (Brym and Lenton 2001 ). In the US the proportion of online dating site members who were married or in a relationship was even higher (30 percent) (PRWeb 2005 ). This evidence suggests a different kind of motive for using these sites, driven more by risqué excitement than a genuine desire for romance. It might also be regarded by some users, who feel trapped in unhappy marital relationships, as an escape route. More evidence is needed on these questions.

The idea that online daters are desperate individuals who are socially isolated or inadequate has received equivocal support from empirical research. This perception was prevalent in the earliest days of online dating and may have reflected opinions that prevailed about use of the personals columns in magazines and newspapers (see Klement 1997 ). Online daters have been found to have active offline social lives and see themselves as self-confident. Dating websites represent one avenue of social contact among many (Brym and Lenton 2001 ; Gunter 2008 )

There is interesting evidence concerning the age differences of online daters who go on to form lasting partnerships (Dutton et al. 2008 ). In more than six in ten cases (61 percent) online daters formed long-term relationships with someone with whom the age difference was less than six years. There was more likely to be an age difference of six or more years, however, between couples meeting online (39 percent) than between those meeting offline (24 percent). In a later report by the same researchers, the tolerance for age differences among online daters was found to vary somewhat between countries. While online daters in Spain and the UK were similarly likely to display an age difference of greater than six years, this proportion was markedly lower in Australia (Dutton et al. 2009 ).

These findings may reveal greater age difference tolerance of online daters and a willingness to embrace a wider choice of partners compared with offline-only daters. This in turn increases the likelihood that lasting partnerships will develop between people of varying characteristics. As we see later, there are also differences between genders in what they seek from a partner that can mediate the success of different forms of self-disclosure that occur in online social contact settings.

What motivates online daters?

People visit or use online dating sites for a variety of reasons. There are two aspects to motivation: the nature of the motive and the strength of motivation. Strength of motivation can be indicated through the degree of persistence that online-dating-site users exhibit in sticking with the task. Once they get started, many online daters use Internet services repeatedly (Gunter 2008 ).

Gender differences in expectations and outcomes have been found. Women were more likely to go online seeking friendships, while men sought a relationship. Men were four times as likely as women to say they sought a “no-strings” fling. Men were also more likely to instigate contact on the basis of an attractive photograph whereas women responded to an interesting description (Netimperative 2005 ). These findings are consistent with evolutionary theory explanations of male versus female sexual-partner-seeking behavior. According to this theory, women tend to be more selective than men (Feingold 1992 ). Consistent with this theory, female Internet daters tend to specify more attributes than do males in relation to determining the right partner for themselves (Bartling et al. 2005 ).

Further evidence has emerged that male online daters are most influenced by the apparent age and physical attractiveness of potential female partners, whereas female online daters look more closely at social status indicators such as education and occupation (Lance 1998 ). Other research, discussed later, reinforces the position of this theory that men and women seek different characteristics in potential mates within the context of Internet dating that reflects differences in the way they are “hard-wired.” Their distinctive socio-biological orientations may also underpin their propensity to emphasize or distort specific features about themselves that they believe will enhance their attractiveness to potential mates.

Are online daters satisfied with online dating?

Research has shown that most online daters agreed that it is an effective way of meeting people (Brym and Lenton 2001 ). Most users of these sites express broad satisfaction with the service received, though this was less prevalent in terms of the numbers of contacts provided and dates achieved (Gunter 2008 ).

One common source of concern was retention of anonymity while online. Thus, while online daters seek face-to-face contact opportunities, this must be done in secure locations from which they can walk away. While actual dates would provide an opportunity to engage in more direct contact with a potential new friend or romantic partner, many online daters would like to remain in shopping-around mode, perhaps, but in a more socially rich online situation (Gunter 2008 ). The perceived advantages of online dating include the provision of a large pool of potential dates that increases the chances of finding a suitable match (Madden and Lenhart 2006 ).

If the explanations of gender differences in mating habits of evolutionary theory are to be accepted as relevant here, this expanded choice is likely to be utilized differently by men and women Internet daters. We would expect women to do more window shopping before committing to a purchase, while men might be more likely to try out multiple goods.

It was noted earlier that online daters seem to be willing to accept bigger differences between themselves and their partners than is often found among offline daters (Dutton et al. 2008 ). This observation has been reinforced by other evidence obtained from active or recent online daters that they cast the net wider in terms of the character range of potential companions they are willing consider compared with the usual choice profiles that are prevalent in the offline world. Thus, men are no more likely than women to be influenced by the physical attractiveness of potential online dates and women in the online world are not as strongly motivated to find a male partner with high socio-economic status (Whitty 2008 ).

The degree of satisfaction (or dissatisfaction) experienced by online daters has been directly linked to the formats adopted by online dating sites. Online dating site interfaces that offer standard profile-based information about potential companions can be off-putting. Research has indicated that many online dating sites users increasingly fail to be fully engaged by sites that offer search opportunities for partner matches using check-box profiling. One study found that Internet daters reported spending more time searching through profiles than engaging in the kinds of interactions usually associated with dating. It therefore tested new formats in which participants could send instant messages to each other and post images as conversation points. This approach created greater immediacy in otherwise remote interactions, which modeled more closely exchanges that might take place in initial real-time, face-to-face encounters. Participants preferred others with whom they had initially interacted rather than those whose profiles they had read during face-to-face meetings (Frost et al. 2008 ).

How successful is online dating for making social contacts?

The success of online dating is difficult to determine in any absolute sense as it is dependent upon users’ expectations associated with their reasons for doing it. Casual users and seekers of life-long partners have different motives. In between these two extremes, however, there are many other potential measures of success calculated in terms of dates achieved, dates with potentially good matches, and so on.

A number of independent studies in different countries have confirmed that most users make multiple contacts with potential dates, either through self-initiated actions or by responding to the actions of others (Brym and Lenton 2001 ; Trueman 2005 ; Gunter 2008 ). One meeting often led to others although relationships surviving more than one year occurred for fewer than one in five (Trueman 2005 ).

Criteria of success may differ for online dating simply because dating is conducted remotely, whereas in the offline world the establishment of a relationship requires physical proximity between romantic partners (Levine 2000 ; Wildermuth 2001 ). Studies of online dating have found, however, that one central criterion of success was whether it led to offline meetings (Brym and Lenton 2001 ; Parks and Roberts 1998 ). Ultimately then even for online daters for a relationship to flourish, it must be feasible for them actually to meet someone face to face. Hence geographical proximity for online daters remains an issue just as in the offline dating world.

What are the consequences of online dating?

Making initial contacts from which face-to-face encounters are arranged are the first steps in realizing what might be a more involved objective of engaging in a full-blown relationship that might be purely sexual in nature or entail a longer-term commitment. A majority of Canadian online daters (63 percent) said they had had a sexual relationship with at least one person they met online. This outcome was slightly more likely among men (66 percent) than among women (58 percent) and was especially high among gay men (79 percent). Many (60 percent) reportedly enjoyed at least one long-term relationship from meeting with someone they initially contacted via one of these sites. Far fewer (27 percent), said they met someone they came to consider as their “partner.” Only a tiny proportion (3 percent) married someone they met online. This outcome generally followed a protracted courtship online in the form of exchanges of emails and photographs (Brym and Lenton 2001 ).

In the US, more than four in ten (43 percent) online daters said they had gone on dates with people they met through Internet dating sites, with far fewer (17 percent) entering long-term relationships or marrying people they met this way. Across US Internet users, 3 percent who were married or in a long-term relationship said they met their partners online (Madden and Lenhart 2006 ).

In the UK, more than four in ten users of online dating services claimed to have experienced at least one sexual relationship as a result, while only around three in ten enjoyed a lasting relationship and just under one in ten found a marriage partner (Gunter 2008 ). A major study of online daters in the UK and Australia revealed that 6 percent of responding Internet users in the UK and 9 percent in Australia said they had met their current partner online (Dutton et al. 2008 ).

How important is self-disclosure style?

Online dating, as with any other form of dating, requires participants to disclose details about themselves as part of the process of building a rapport and then a relationship with another person. In the online dating world, face-to-face contact is delayed and may never occur. Instead, other channels of communication are used. These include email, online real-time chat, exchanges of photographs and even audio or video links. Contacts initially begin with the preservation of anonymity through text-only communication. Other channels that reveal more about participants can subsequently be introduced when participants wish to take the initial contacts further (Couch and Liamputtong 2008 ).

The ways that people represent themselves can vary between different online settings. Thus, self-disclosures and virtual “courtship” behaviors have been observed to differ between online dating sites and other virtual communities such as chat rooms and discussion boards. The real-world geographical distance between participants in these sites can also vary. In online virtual communities not established explicitly for dating purposes, users may be more tolerant of large geographical distances because memberships of these communities may typically be international. In respect of online dating sites, where the primary intention may be to find a new romantic partner, there will be an expectation that eventually an online friendship will evolve into an offline relationship. In this case, geographical proximity will become an important factor underpinning how easy and convenient it will be for both partners to arrange a face–to-face meeting. Consequently, online friends are more likely to meet in person when they live relatively close to each other and will be more likely to meet sooner to test the offline dating potential of someone contacted online (Baker 2005 ). In general, those who meet via dating sites are more likely to meet at all compared with those who meet on other online virtual communities (McKenna 2007 ).

Research with online daters has revealed that they use a number of different communications channels. In Australia, for example, a small qualitative study with fifteen online daters found that they used email, online chat, and webcams to interact with potential romantic partners. They also used an array of filtering mechanisms to help them decide whether to take any of these remote contacts through to face-to-face meetings. These filters again took advantage of text, audio, and video channels to inform impressions of others with whom remote interactions were taking place (Couch and Liamputtong 2008 ).

Self-presentation has emerged as a critically important variable that can influence success in Internet dating. There should be no surprises about this because developing intimate, romantic relationships, whatever the context, generally involves an unveiling of the self to another. In the offline world, during face-to-face meetings, a person's anonymity is forfeited and first impressions based on judgments about appearance and initial disclosure of personality can be critical. In the online world, the individual is afforded some protection through invisibility when initial disclosures occur in text message form. This can lead to individuals adopting a more strategic approach to self-disclosure that entails being carefully selective in the information they present about what they are and what they are like (Bargh et al. 2002 ; McKenna et al. 2002 ). At the same time, in an online setting, individuals may disclose specific details about themselves sooner than they might ordinarily do in offline settings and develop a closeness with another even sight unseen (Walther et al. 2001 ). Despite these differences between the offline and online worlds, relationships in both spheres have been observed to display a gradual development from exploration of surface level characteristics to disclosures of deeper-seated values and attributes, a psychological process articulated by social penetration theory (Altman and Taylor 1973 ; Whitty and Carr 2006 ).

Whitty ( 2008 ) has explained how past theories of the “self” have routinely distinguished between different levels of personal representation, usually embracing a concept of the “real self,” some other “idealized self,” and possibly an “externalized self” that may reveal parts of the real self, but not all of it. It is therefore only to be expected that these offline processes and habits should migrate into the online world. Whitty ( 2008 ) also noted that in the context of relationship formation in the offline world, the self is revealed a bit at a time. Such exchanges between those who are dating represent an intricate part of relationship formation. Disclosure of intimate details occurs gradually as trust is built up between daters, and as more of each other's true selves are revealed judgments can be reviewed about whether there is a good match. This ritualized pattern of self-disclosure may be followed in the online world though the pace at which it proceeds can be more rapid, in some respects, than in the offline world.

There is evidence, for example, that online daters use their online dating experiences as opportunities to try out new identities. The intention here may be as much about self-exploration as giving misleading impression of who they really are. Thus, online daters may post idealized selves characterized by attributes they do not actually possess, but would like to. Feedback is then received on these alternative self-images from other users, enabling posters to judge which attributes are most highly valued by others. One possible outcome of this exploratory behavior is identity re-creation on the part of the individual (Yurchisin et al. 2005 ).

Another aspect of online behavior that has emerged as important to progression of a relationship beyond initial stages of online contact is the use of emotional words in early text exchanges. Emails with strong emotional terms in which the correspondent indicates their excitement at the opportunity to find someone new can lead to more favorable first impressions and a greater likelihood that the recipient of such messages will choose to pursue the relationship further (Rosen et al. 2008 ).

Internet daters may try out different representations of themselves. This process can include deciding on different ways of verbally describing what they are like as well as carefully selecting photographs of themselves that they post on dating websites or send to potential offline dates. Online daters may seek to put forward the best of themselves (Heino et al. 2005 ). This is understandable in that they wish to present themselves as possessing attributes potential partners will find attractive. This motivation can result in distorted, exaggerated, or misleading self-portrayals emerging (Toma et al. 2008 ). Such behavior can also create a tension among some online daters who feel under pressure to be more open and honest about themselves because they ultimately want their dating experience to be successful (Ellison et al. 2006 ).

The repercussions from telling lies about oneself online are that eventually someone might find out. Furthermore, in the online dating context, if the real persona as revealed in an offline meeting is totally different from the image projected online, potential partners may be put off. Totally exposing one's true self can place an online dater at a disadvantage, however, so some degree of mild deception in the form of selective disclosure could prove the most effective strategy (Whitty 2008 ). While such mild deceit may be ethically acceptable and justifiable in terms of safeguarding both personal privacy and security and self-regard in settings of personal disclosure to unseen strangers, more serious forms of malicious deceptive behaviour has also been recorded online, sometimes in dating contexts, that can result in real harm to victims in the offline world (Whitty and Joinson 2009 ).

The concept of “warrants” has been invoked in this context which is related to the closeness of contact between a person's real world and online identity (see Walther et al. 2009 ). Warrants comprise disclosures that permit another to authenticate or verify any personal claims an individual might make about their character. The reduction in degree to which offline and online lives and identities are divorced from each other can control the level of deception likely to occur in online self-disclosures (Warkentin et al. 2010 ).

Even though online daters may be aware of the risks they run in respect of the success of subsequent face-to-face meetings with potential romantic partners initially courted online, they may still fall into the temptation of telling minor untruths or “white lies” about themselves. Validation tests of online self-descriptions in the form of direct observations and measurements of online daters have indicated that both men and women lie about some of their personal attributes. Deceptions included details disclosed about height, weight, and age, with claims made of being taller, less heavy and younger than was the truth. In most cases, however, the deception was mild rather than severe (Toma et al. 2008 ).

Conflicting evidence has emerged that men and women distort different attributes. Men seek women who are physically attractive and youthful, leading women to exaggerate these attributes in themselves in their self-disclosures. Women seek men who can offer them comfort, status, and security and therefore look for these attributes in the self-disclosures of male online daters. In terms of evolutionary theory, to which reference has already been made, men seek women with reproductive fitness and therefore focus on physical and biological characteristics of potential mates. Women, in contrast, seek not simply a mate with whom they can procreate but also one who will provide longer-term security both for herself and her offspring (Buss 1988 ; Buss and Schmitt 1993 ).

The “screen names” that online daters use can shape the impressions others form of them in terms of their personality or physical attractiveness (Whitty and Buchanan 2009 ). Online daters have openly admitted posting profiles that misrepresent them. Once again, though, it seems that this is not done through malicious intent but simply to find out which self-images work best in that environment (Whitty 2008 ).

The open text descriptions that Internet daters provide of themselves can also vary in their truthfulness. As a form of self-protection, online daters who lie on their personal profiles tend to use fewer self-references and fewer emotionally negative words, both to enhance the self-impression they hope to create while at the same time psychologically distancing themselves from any distortions their self-descriptions might contain. Despite these findings, most online daters in this research were found on independent validation to tell the truth about themselves (Toma and Hancock 2010 ).

Are there other online avenues to finding a partner?

The Internet offers users a variety of different options for meeting people for social and romantic purposes. There is mounting evidence to show that that there are other online opportunities for finding romantic partners in addition to specialist dating sites. Internet users adopt these alternatives sometimes instead of or in addition to dating websites (Mintel 2009 ).

The dramatic rise of social networking sites has enabled millions of people worldwide to expand their lists of social contacts (Lenhart 2009 ). Social networks have always represented a critical aspect of the fabric of our lives. They underline family and community ties that define self-identity and can provide us with social, emotional, and economic support (Wellman and Gulia 1999 ; Wellman and Potter 1999 ). Offline social networks have migrated into cyberspace and online social networks represent both a reinforcement and an extension of offline networks (Donath and boyd 2004 ). While people present their identity through their physical selves in the offline world, in online settings they must create a screen profile dependent on self-report. In such contexts, there is often less richness of personal information available in online profiles for others to form an impression of an online actor as compared with a face-to-face meeting in the physical world (Postmes et al. 1998 ; Walther and Tidwell 2002 ). Nevertheless, such computer-mediated communication environments can promote the development of new relationships and the maintenance of existing relationships that can be socially as powerful as offline interactions (Walther 1997 ; Wang et al. 2009 ).

Within computer-mediated settings, however, the rules governing interpersonal engagement and impression formation can differ from those found in face-to-face encounters. Social identity effects that arise from situations in which anonymity of communicants places group-level cues centre stage enhances impressions of group cohesiveness and common identity where broad group membership attributes are shared. SIDE (social identity of deindividuation effects) theory has posited that computer-mediated relationships can be strengthened through this process even in the absence of many of the cues that underpin interpersonal attraction in the physical world (Postmes et al. 1999 ). The common sense of group identity can be so strong, that subsequent exposure to more personalized information about participants in a computer-mediated communication task can reduce interpersonal attraction responses (Lee 2004 ; Postmes et al. 1998 ; Walther 1997 ).

At the individual level, Walther ( 1995 ) offered an alternative theoretical interpretation of how online interpersonal relationships can emerge and develop. His social information processing theory posited that even online individuals will draw upon many of the cues they might use offline in assessing others, but the pace at which a relationship develops online is slower. Early tests of this theory, however, found that it may have underestimated the extent to which computer-mediated communication can facilitate relationship formation.

In an extension, called hyperpersonal theory, it was argued that the capacity afforded by computer-mediated communication to modify self-disclosures and to modify the self-identity that is projected can create a setting in which extremely powerful interpersonal relationships develop (Walther 1996 , 1997 ). In computer-mediated settings, individuals may take great care over self-presentation by carefully drafting and re-drafting personal profiles to control the tone, complexity, and emotionality of the language used (Walther 2007 ). Although synchronous online communications can be littered with anonymous and deceptive self-descriptions, in asynchronous online environments, users can take greater care over the impressions they create of themselves, responding to the reactions of others and modifying their profiles strategically to maximize their attractiveness while not straying too far from the truth. In such contexts, powerful interpersonal relationships can emerge (Tidwell and Walther 2002 ).

US research with teenage social networkers indicated that while most used their profiles to maintain contact with established friends, around half used them to make new friends, and in some cases social networks were used to flirt with others (Lenhart and Madden 2007 ). UK research found that nearly one in four Internet users had made new social contacts online and about half of these individuals had gone online with the intention of meeting new friends (DiGennaro and Dutton 2007 ; Dutton and Helsper 2007 ).

Research in Australia, Spain, and the UK among Internet users who met their spouses online reported that although online dating sites were named more often than any other online site among UK respondents, this was not true in Australia or Spain (Dutton et al. 2008 , 2009 ). In the UK, online chat rooms and instant messaging provided contact points as well as dating sites. In Spain and Australia, chat rooms were the most popular sites of first social contact (Dutton et al., 2009 ).

We saw earlier, in the context of using Internet dating sites, that the issues of deception and trust in relation to personal profiles were regarded as problematic factors that could cause tension among online daters. Trust in personalized information is relevant in other online social interaction settings, including those that involve highly popular social network sites such as Facebook (Walther et al. 2009 ). In this context, the concept of warrants can be significant in that they can serve to constrain the inclination to stray too far from the truth when constructing online self-descriptions. In particular, any personal claims are more likely to command the trust of others when they are authenticated by independent sources. Thus, in the context of Facebook, for example, remarks generated by others tended to be trusted more than those generated by self in relation to judgments made about personal profiles (Walther et al. 2009 ).

Further evidence has emerged however that the propensity to tell lies—even if only mildly deceptive in nature—varied between online social interaction platforms. Deceptions were less likely to occur in emails and social network sites than in live chat rooms, Internet forums, or instant messaging. Warrants, or self disclosures that revealed information about self that others could check out, were least likely to be deployed in those areas where lies were most prevalent—chat rooms, forums, and instant messages. If warrants suppress deception, as has been hypothesized, then social network sites would appear to offer potentially the most trustworthy personal profiles (Warkentin et al. 2010 ).

Whether social networking sites designed primarily to enhance general social contacts and (non-romantic) friendships represent significant competition for specialist dating sites remains to be seen. It is likely that they will at least represent one more tool in the dating toolbox for those who seek convenient and economical routes to making new romantic contacts. Certainly, on the basis of recent evidence, they may are more likely than other online disclosure to provide the most authentic personal profiles.

What does the future hold?

From the end of the twenty-first century, online dating emerged as one of the most widely used applications of the Internet. In the space of less than a decade, this market has evolved rapidly. It has grown in terms of overall market size. The phenomenon of online dating is global in reach. The number of suppliers of these services has also increased over time at an accelerating pace. The immaturity of the market in many countries is an important contributory factor in the rapid growth in numbers of different suppliers. As the market matures and consolidates with a few dominant suppliers capturing the greatest market share, market entry for smaller suppliers could become more difficult because of the costs involved in establishing a viable market presence (Mintel 2009 ).

Although online social networking services that are not branded specifically in relation to dating have surfaced as competition to specialist online dating agencies, most of the biggest online dating agencies have a distinct selling proposition based on the detailed profiling they carry out with their clients to ensure that contacts represent good romantic matches. Given that most online daters do not simply want to gain contacts, but contacts with a specific type of relationship potential, the more sophisticated matching services should always find a market.

Empirical research has indicated that deception in personal profiling online is regarded as a problem (Toma et al. 2008 ). There are factors that can be introduced to suppress the propensity to lie online (Lucid 2009 ). Moreover, deception seems less likely to occur in asynchronous online communication settings, such as Internet dating sites, than in synchronous online communication environments (Warkentin et al. 2010 ). Signals of authentication of personal profiles are likely to enhance the reputation of online dating sites among users, even in the face of growing competition within the market and from social network sites.

Within the specialist online dating supply chain, however, market changes are occurring that will pose business challenges to market leaders. Even the specialist market is becoming increasingly crowded. There are two significant phenomena that have affected market dynamics. The first of these is the emergence of free dating sites that do not charge users any fees directly. Instead, their business models depend upon the generation of revenue via advertising on their sites. The second change is market fragmentation.

Parts of the pay market for online dating have responded to “free” sites by launching free sites of their own. Some major companies have merged to capture bigger market shares in specific national markets. It is also important to note that online daters do not always remain loyal to one site or restrict their search to one supplier at a time. Even free sites, such as PlentyofFish, have acknowledged that up to 15 percent of its users also sign up to pay sites (Mintel 2009 ). As in other service markets, quality of service is a critical factor that drives customers’ choices. Online daters still use paid-for sites because many free sites offer limited customer service.

Another positive factor for pay sites is that few “free” sites make enough money from advertising to sustain their businesses (Mintel 2009 ). There remains scope for further analysis of business models likely to prove successful in the future. Given the significance of factors such as deception and trust, that may be linked in turn to privacy and security issues on the part of online daters, fee-based dating services could remain competitive if they offer greater value in terms of profile authenticity checking, which is likely to demand additional resources on the part of service suppliers.

The online dating market is fragmenting. There are growing numbers of online dating services within national markets that are targeting niche sub-markets defined by sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, age group, lifestyle preferences, and a range of special interests or needs. Perhaps one of the most intriguing aspects of market fragmentation has been manifest in the growth of dating sites that cater for members with unusual distinguishing attributes or interests (Scott and Martin 2009 ).

A further dynamic that is influencing the shape of the online dating market is the entry into the market of other well-known brands, in particular media companies. Media organizations that publish outlets that have traditionally carried personal ads or that run dating competitions have sought to extend their reach in the dating arena via online dating. Media companies have achieved this objective via partnerships with established online dating companies, through take-overs of such companies or by setting up new online dating services themselves. In the UK, a number of major newspapers have established or bought into online dating sites. Many of these have enjoyed business growth, although they have yet to penetrate the top ten (Mintel 2009 ). Hence, although such mergers that combine powerful brands could be seen as having strong and widespread appeal, their success will depend upon which partner dominates the business decision-making and upon whether for consumers the partnership seems like a good fit.

Final remarks

There is a steadily expanding body of research about online dating that derives from industry market monitoring, commercial ad hoc studies of users’ experiences by online dating agencies and opinion pollsters, and research by academics. Online dating has become socially accepted and in many countries and demographic strata has long passed the stage of early adoption and become a mass participation activity.

There remain important questions on which more research is needed. How will online dating continue to evolve? Will the online dating market become more fragmented, with agencies targeting smaller and more tightly defined groups or communities? Will the major dating companies need to diversify more in the future to embrace communities that are defined by more than standard demographics?

To be successful, online dating services may need to become more literate in terms of their understanding of the rules of social interaction that apply in computer-mediated environments (see Walther 1996 ; Walther et al. 2001 ). As online dating expands, will it experience problems that have been linked to the wider social networking phenomenon of site misuse, invasion of privacy, personal security threats, and identity theft? Most users have been found to exhibit sensitivity to dishonesty in online dating, but few perceived it as a real risk (Brym and Lenton 2001 ; Madden and Lenhart 2006 ).

Market analysts have provided macro-level data that are helpful in tracking global and national market movements in this sector. Their methods, as they stand, are inappropriate for understanding the key drivers of online dating behavior. More theory-based research is required that determines the degree to which offline norms and rules relating to interpersonal communication, impression, and relationship formation can be migrated into the online world is essential.

More studies that combine linguistic analysis of the texts of personal profiles with analysis of discourses used by online daters to describe their intentions and expectations could provide valuable insights. In addition, interventionist designs that manipulate specific features of online personal profiles to evaluate the responses elicited by specific features in the presence of controls over other features could reveal micro-level attributes. The latter could then be utilized in macro-level analyses of online dating site texts using data mining software permitting systematic and subtle levels of evaluation of massive quantities of online content (e.g. Thelwall 2008 ; Feizy et al. 2009 ). In view of cross-national differences in online dating habits (e.g. Dutton et al. 2009 ), such triangulated analyses should also be conducted cross-culturally.

Finally, in light of growing concerns about deviant practices on the Internet, some of which are manifest in the context of ostensibly genuine online relationship formation (Whitty and Carr 2006 ), there is a need for greater understanding of the types of people who utilize the Internet in search of friends and partners, beyond the standard market demographics. This need is underlined by emergent evidence that individuals who lack confidence in terms of self-presentation may be more likely than others to prefer social interaction online. This syndrome has been described under the broad heading of Problematic Internet Use (PIU) (Caplan 2002 , 2003 , 2005 ).

Socially responsible online dating services might seek to profile their clients psychologically so that value-added advisory services can be provided to guide potentially more vulnerable Internet users, for example, those who might be taken in by the phenomenon of so-called “romance scams” whereby criminals infiltrate online dating sites with fake profiles in order to construct bogus romantic relationships with susceptible victims, often culminating in attempts to extort money from them. Researchers have begun to study the linguistic styles of these fake profiles to develop algorithms for their detection to provide support to law enforcement agencies that are often called in to such cases (see Whitty and Buchanan 2011 ).

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The Paradoxes of Modern Dating

A conversation with Faith Hill about daters’ competing desires for structure and serendipity

This is an edition of The Atlantic Daily, a newsletter that guides you through the biggest stories of the day, helps you discover new ideas, and recommends the best in culture. Sign up for it here.

More than a decade after Tinder introduced the swipe, many Americans are sick of dating apps. As I explored in a recent article for The Atlanti c, the cracks are starting to show in what looked to be the foundation of modern dating. Now young people are yearning for a version of dating they may have never experienced—and that may have never truly existed, my colleague Faith Hill wrote recently . I spoke with Faith this week about how dating has evolved, and what people misunderstand about the purpose of dating apps.

First, here are three new stories from The Atlantic :

• The Columbine-killers fan club
• Democrats’ unproven plan to close Biden’s enthusiasm gap
• Taylor Swift is having quality-control issues.

The Mysteries of the Heart

Lora Kelley: In your article, you wrote that young people are longing for serendipitous connections or meet-cutes. Why is that?

Faith Hill: Many young people dating now have never dated without the apps. But we have all these romantic comedies where people are meeting strangers and falling in love, and young people are still hearing stories, sometimes from their parents, about how couples met. We still have a romantic ideal that does not involve dating apps. It’s easy to idealize spontaneous “meet-cutes” both because they’re so romanticized in our culture and because they’re kind of the opposite of online dating.

Apps are quite practical. You go out and you seek something intentionally. That gives you some agency, but it also takes away the appealing mythical element at the heart of the meet-cute: this idea that your relationship was meant to be.

Lora: How does living in a world of apps affect people’s understanding of what dating is?

Faith: For one thing, we’re now used to reducing the risk of rejection. Apps let you confirm someone is interested, to some degree, before you meet up—and that also creates a kind of built-in layer of consent, however imperfect.

Dating apps also give people more options. That’s good and bad. We should expect a lot from our partners and not just feel stuck with the only prospect. But it can also create the feeling that there’s always someone better out there.

Lora: To what extent have shifting norms around flirting with strangers reshaped how people meet and date?

Faith: People do still meet out and about. But it’s not an amazing fit for today’s culture. We have this idea of meeting someone in a grocery store while reaching for the same cantaloupe or whatever. But many of us don’t actually want strangers talking to us in the grocery store—that can feel like an intrusion. And I think it’s a good thing that we are more sensitive now to what might feel pushy or creepy. What seemed normal to characters in TV shows such as Sex and the City probably wouldn’t fly today.

Lora: While I was reporting my article on dating apps, a researcher suggested to me that even if all of the apps were to go bankrupt overnight, something similar would pop up in their place, because people have come to really value having this type of dedicated way to meet. What do you make of this?

Faith: People will keep finding a way to meet romantic interests, and companies will try to innovate. Our society has become more structured and less spontaneous in many areas, including dating. Even though many people are getting frustrated with dating apps, they do like having a structured way to meet people who are eligible and looking to date. You can see that with speed dating and the resurgence of matchmakers.

Lora: A lot of the main dating apps are trying to get users to pay for extra features and subscriptions. But even the most expensive dating-app algorithm or service cannot guarantee that you will meet someone you like. Is the root of the problem just that people are people, and it’s hard to pair individuals who will actually like each other?

Faith: It’s hard to predict whether two people will be compatible, partly because that sort of connection comes about as two people interact. How two people feel about each other can unfold from what they happen to talk about in a conversation, whether they hit on something that they have in common or both find funny. We keep trying to find a way to figure love out, but the truth is that it’s difficult, and it takes luck.

Lora: The mysteries of the human heart are great.

Faith: Yes, and that’s true both on and offline. Honestly, apps are a way to meet people, not a way to date people. Once you have met, your relationship becomes its own thing—and it’s not so different from if you had met in a bar.

The enigma of other people isn’t a bad thing, though. People don’t really want love to be a totally solvable science. Meet-cute nostalgia speaks to that. On the one hand, we like the idea of an algorithm that’ll give us someone who is great for us, but on the other hand, we still have this hunger for love being weird and complicated and hard to pin down.

• America is sick of swiping.
• “Nostalgia for a dating experience they’ve never had”

Today’s News

• Israel launched a strike that hit a major air base near nuclear sites in central Iran. The International Atomic Energy Agency said that Iran’s nuclear sites were not damaged.
• The House voted to advance a foreign-aid package that would send aid to Ukraine, Israel, and U.S. allies in the Indo-Pacific, and includes legislation that could lead to a nationwide ban of TikTok.
• A man set himself on fire near the New York City courthouse in which Donald Trump is on trial for criminal charges.
• The Books Briefing : Cookbooks are full of hidden wisdom —and some of them are worth reading cover to cover, Emma Sarappo writes.
• Atlantic Intelligence : The generative-AI boom will look very different for non-English speakers , Matteo Wong recently wrote.

Explore all of our newsletters here.

Evening Read

The Problem With Counterfeit People

By Daniel C. Dennett

The philosopher Daniel C. Dennett, known for his musings on free will, religion, and evolution, died earlier today. We’re revisiting his 2023 essay on the “immoral act of vandalism” committed by companies that use AI to create fake people.

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The Relationship Between Dating Status and Academic and Social Functioning in Middle Adolescence

• Empirical Research
• Published: 22 January 2021
• Volume 50 , pages 1268–1280, ( 2021 )

Cite this article

• Yana Ryjova   ORCID: orcid.org/0000-0002-2037-8743 1 ,
• Annemarie Kelleghan 1 ,
• Daryaneh Badaly 2 ,
• Mylien Duong 3 &
• David Schwartz 1  

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Dating relationships are normative in middle adolescence, but the academic and social implications of different types of dating involvement remains unclear. To address this gap, this longitudinal study evaluates the association between dating status (i.e., never date, rarely date, casually date, steady relationship) and academic and social functioning in a sample of adolescents. Across two school years, 455 adolescents (53.8% female; 56.5% Asian American, 43.5% Latinx; T1 M age  = 15.04 years) reported on their dating status and peers provided nominations of popularity and aggression. Grades and standardized test scores were obtained from school records. For Asian American youth, abstaining from dating was negatively associated with subsequent popularity. Casual dating and being in a steady relationship were associated with relational and overt peer aggression over time. Gender moderated this association, such that boys in steady relationships, and girls in casual relationships were more relationally aggressive one year later. Implications are discussed in terms of problem behavior theory and adolescent intersexual competition.

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YR conceived of the study, performed statistical analyses, and drafted the manuscript; AK contributed to the study design and helped draft and revise manuscript content; DB, MD, and DS participated in the study design and coordination and made substantial contributions to data acquisition and design conception; DS provided critical contributions to the study design and revision of the manuscript. All authors read and approved the final manuscript.

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Ryjova, Y., Kelleghan, A., Badaly, D. et al. The Relationship Between Dating Status and Academic and Social Functioning in Middle Adolescence. J Youth Adolescence 50 , 1268–1280 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-021-01395-2

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• Nearly Half of U.S. Adults Say Dating Has Gotten Harder for Most People in the Last 10 Years
• 3. Public attitudes about today’s dating landscape

Table of Contents

• 1. A profile of single Americans
• 2. Personal experiences and attitudes of daters
• Acknowledgments
• Methodology

Nearly half of Americans think dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years – especially women, who are much more likely than men to say dating now comes with more risk. Many think the recent increased focus on sexual harassment and assault has made it harder to know how to behave on dates, particularly for men.

It’s safe to say that cultural norms around sex and dating have loosened over the years . Still, some practices are considered taboo by many Americans. For example, while most adults say premarital sex is acceptable, only about one-third say the same about open relationships – that is, a committed relationship where both people agree that it is acceptable to date or have sex with other people.

And while options for how to break up with someone have expanded as people are connected through many different platforms, most still say breaking up in person is the way to go.

Almost half of the public says dating has gotten harder in the last 10 years

Nearly half of U.S. adults (47%) say dating is harder today for most people compared with 10 years ago, while a third say it is about the same and 19% say it’s easier today.

Women are much more likely than men to say dating has gotten harder (55% vs. 39%). Black women (62%) are more likely than Hispanic women (50%) to say dating has gotten harder, while 55% of White women say the same. Only 9% of Black women say dating has gotten easier in the last decade, compared with 14% of White women and 27% of Hispanic women.

Overall, 54% of Black, 48% of White and 42% of Hispanic adults say dating has gotten harder. Hispanics (31%) are about twice as likely as White (16%) or Black (14%) adults to say dating is now easier.

In every age group except for those 65 and older, more say dating is harder today than say it’s easier or the same as it was 10 years ago. Adults 65 and older are about as likely to say it’s gotten harder (43%) as they are to say it’s about the same as it was (40%). Adults younger than 50 are more likely than those who are older to say dating has gotten easier in the last 10 years: 27% of those ages 18 to 29 and 21% of those ages 30 to 49 say it has gotten easier, compared with 15% each of those 50 to 64 and 65 and older.

People who are in a committed relationship but not married or living with their partner (57%) or are currently on the dating market (54%) are more likely than their counterparts who are married or living with a partner (46%) or single but not looking for a relationship or dates (40%) to say dating is harder. Among singles who are on the dating market, those who are looking for a committed relationship only are more likely to say dating is harder now (62%) than those who are open to casual dates or only looking for casual dates (50%).

Increased physical and emotional risk is commonly cited as a reason dating has gotten harder; many say technology has made dating easier

Among the 47% of Americans who say dating is harder now than it was 10 years ago, the increased risk of dating today – including physical risk as well as the risk of getting scammed or lied to – stands out as the most-often-cited reason why dating is harder (21% cite this). Roughly one-in-ten point to technology (12%), the idea that dating has become more impersonal (10%) or that it’s harder to meet people now (10%), the more casual nature of dating today (9%), or changing societal expectations, morals or gender roles (8%). A slightly smaller share (5%) blame the difficulty of dating on people being busier these days.

Women are twice as likely as men (26% vs. 13%) to say increased risk is a reason dating is harder now. They are also more likely than men to say that it’s harder now because dating has become more casual (11% vs. 6%). For their part, men are somewhat more likely to say technology is a reason (15% vs. 10%).

Older adults are more likely to see increased risk as a reason dating is harder now: 23% of those 65 and older and 30% of those 50 to 64 point to increased risk, compared with 16% of 30- to 49-year-olds and 13% of adults younger than 30.

There is no significant difference between those with online dating experience and those who have never used online dating when it comes to whether technology is a reason dating is harder now.

“A lot of people catfish people and pretend to be something they are not.” Woman, 38 years old, married

[sexually transmitted diseases]

“Because there are a lot of crazy people out there and the internet allows that crazy to be masked longer than it used to be.” Woman, 33, married

“Apps encourage snap judgments so initial contact is often not even made.” Man, 53, single

[Cellphones]

“Cultural norms have changed, harder to find people who want relationships and not just ‘hooking up.’” Woman, 20, living with partner

“If you are a Christian, too much is expected of you to do against your belief.” Woman, 88, single

“People are more independent now.” Woman, 75, married

“Romanticism is pretty much dead. We live in a culture where having feelings for someone is undesirable. To be vulnerable with someone is taboo.” Woman, 25, in a committed relationship

“Relationship, gender and sexuality roles have been upended and no one knows what they’re doing.” Man, 35, married

When it comes to why dating has gotten easier in the last 10 years, technology tops the list. Among the 19% of respondents who say dating is now easier, about four-in-ten (41%) say technology is a reason. This is followed by 29% who say it is easier to meet people now and 10% who say that changing societal expectations, morals and gender roles have made it easier to date.

Men and women who say dating has gotten easier give similar reasons for this. There are also no significant differences by age.

Technology is far more likely to be mentioned by those who say dating has gotten easier than by those who say it’s gotten harder. About two-thirds (66%) of those who say dating is now easier either point to technology in general or otherwise mention technology in their answer, compared with 31% of those who say dating is now harder.

“10 years ago you actually had to go out and meet people; now you can find someone from the comfort of your own home.” Woman, 30, single

“Males and females tend to do more socializing in groups today than in the more distant past. This makes it easier to meet.” Man, 76, married

“Dating apps are now the norm. It seems like the answer to the ‘how did you two meet’ question is more often than not met with the name of a dating app.” Woman, 25, living with a partner

“For queer people it is easier to be open and find potential partners.” Woman, 26, living with a partner

“Parents are not as strict these days.” Woman, 69, single

“The ‘rules’ that used to apply are more relaxed now. It’s easier and more acceptable for women to initiate contact.” Woman, 58, single

“Lowered moral standards.” Man, 72, married

A plurality says online dating has had a neither positive nor negative effect on dating and relationships

When it comes to the impact online dating sites and apps have had on the broader landscape of dating and relationships these days, half of adults say it has been neither positive nor negative. The remainder of the public is divided: 22% say online dating has had a mostly positive impact while 26% say it has been mostly negative.

Those who have experience with online dating (29%) are more likely than those who don’t (21%) to say online dating has had a positive impact on dating and relationships overall, although minorities in both groups say this is the case. Similar shares of those who have online dated and those who haven’t say the impact has been negative.

Those who met their current partner online are much more likely than those who met their partner in some other way to say online dating’s impact has been positive (40% vs. 21%).

Most say it’s harder for men to know how to behave on dates in the era of the #MeToo movement

Most Americans say it has become harder for men to know how to interact with someone they’re on a date with due to the increased focus on sexual harassment and assault over the last few years. Some 65% say this, while 9% say this focus has made it easier for men and 24% say it hasn’t made much difference. Opinions are more mixed when it comes to the impact on women. Fewer than half (43%) say it is harder for women to know how to behave on dates as a result of the attention paid to sexual harassment and assault, while 17% say this has made it easier for women and 38% say it hasn’t made much of a difference.

Men and women see eye to eye on the impact the #MeToo movement has had on women, but men (69%) are more likely than women (61%) to say this increased focus on sexual harassment and assault has made it harder for men to know how to interact – though most in each group agree it has made it harder.

Older people are more likely than younger adults to see challenges for men dating in the era of #MeToo. For example, 72% of those ages 65 and older say it is now harder for men to know how to interact with someone they’re on a date with, compared with 66% of those 50 to 64, 62% of those 30 to 49 and 58% of those 18 to 29. Older men are particularly likely to say this – 75% of those 50 and older say it is now harder for men to know how to behave, compared with 63% of men younger than 50 and 58% of younger women. Some 63% of women age 50 and older say the same.

Older adults are also more likely to say it is now harder for women to know how to behave with someone they’re on a date with, but men and women have roughly the same opinions across age groups.

Republicans are more likely than Democrats to say the recent focus on sexual harassment and assault has made it harder for both men (75% vs. 56%) and women (49% vs. 38%) to know how to act. Republican men are particularly likely to say it has become harder for men (81%, compared with 69% of Republican women). Among Democrats, men and women are equally likely to say this.

Older Democrats are more likely than younger Democrats to say it is harder for men to know how to act in the era of #MeToo (61% of Democrats ages 50 and older compared with 53% of Democratic adults younger than 50). However, there is no significant difference by age among Republicans about whether it has become harder for men.

Among single people, those who are currently on the dating market (64%) are more likely than singles who are not looking for a relationship or dates (56%) to say that it is harder for men to know how to act now.

Whether or not someone has experienced any kind of harassing behaviors from someone they dated or were on a date with (such as being pressured for sex or someone they were dating spreading rumors about their sexual history) does not appear to influence views on this topic. This is true among both men and women.

Most say premarital sex is acceptable behavior, while sex on a first date and open relationships are taboo for most people

Roughly half of adults (48%) say having an open relationship – that is, a committed relationship where both people agree that it is acceptable to date or have sex with other people – is never acceptable, regardless of whether they would do it themselves. An additional 20% say it is rarely acceptable and 32% say it is acceptable either sometimes or always.

Other sexual and dating practices are generally seen as more acceptable, at least in some circumstances. About half (49%) say it is at least sometimes acceptable for consenting adults to exchange sexually explicit images of themselves. Most say casual sex between consenting adults not in a committed relationship (62%) and sex between unmarried adults who are in a committed relationship (65%) can be acceptable. Still, about a quarter of the public sees casual sex (24%) or premarital sex (25%) as never acceptable.

Adults of different ages view some of these norms in drastically different ways. When it comes to exchanging sexually explicit photos of oneself, young adults ages 18 to 29 are more than three times as likely as those 65 and older to say this is always or sometimes acceptable (70% compared with 21%).

Some 46% of 18- to 29-year-olds and 40% of 30- to 49-year-olds say open relationships are acceptable. By contrast, 22% of 50- to 64-year-olds and 17% of those 65 and older say the same.

While the differences are less dramatic, younger adults are also significantly more accepting of premarital sex and casual sex than their older counterparts. Still, majorities of all age groups say that premarital sex is acceptable.

While men and women see eye to eye on premarital sex, men are much more likely than women to find casual sex (70% vs. 55%) and exchanging explicit images of oneself (57% vs. 41%) acceptable always or sometimes. And while a minority of both men and women say open relationships are acceptable, men (35%) are more accepting than women (29%).

Adults with a college degree or more education are more likely than those with some college experience or less to see each of these items as acceptable. The same is true of Democrats and those who lean to the Democratic Party compared with Republicans and Republican leaners. In fact, Democrats are twice as likely to say open relationships are acceptable (42%, compared with 21% of Republicans).

Large gaps also exist between those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual and those who identify as straight. LGB adults were the only demographic group studied in which a majority say that having an open relationship is always or sometimes acceptable (61%, compared with 29% of straight adults). A large majority also says that two consenting adults exchanging sexually explicit images of themselves is acceptable at least sometimes (74% of LGB adults vs. 47% of their straight counterparts). Majorities of both groups say that premarital and casual sex are acceptable, but LGB adults again are significantly more likely to say this.

When it comes to the acceptability of each of these dating norms, the differences between Democrats and Republicans and between LGB and straight adults remain even after controlling for demographic differences between the groups, such as age, race and religiosity.

Most say it’s usually necessary to ask for permission before kissing someone on a date

Respondents were also asked whether it was acceptable to kiss someone on a date without asking for permission first. Most (60%) say this is rarely or never acceptable (including 36% who say it is never acceptable), while 39% say it can be acceptable at least sometimes.

Men and women and people of all ages are about equally likely to say kissing without asking permission is never acceptable. Black adults (57%), however, are much more likely to say this is never acceptable, compared with 31% of White and 39% of Hispanic adults. Democrats and those with some college or less education are also more likely to think that kissing without asking permission is never acceptable.

Relatively few adults say having sex on a first date is acceptable

There is some disagreement about what sort of behavior is appropriate on a first date. While nearly all of the public thinks it’s acceptable at least sometimes to hug on a first date, there is some gray area when it comes to kissing, and relatively few say having sex is acceptable on a first date (regardless of whether they would do it themselves).

Fully 95% of adults say that giving a hug would be acceptable always or sometimes on a first date, including 56% who say it is always acceptable. Most also say kissing is acceptable (72%), but far fewer say this is always acceptable (15%).

When it comes to sex on the first date, 30% say this is always or sometimes acceptable. Meanwhile 27% say it’s rarely acceptable and 42% say it is never acceptable.

Men are more likely than women to see each of these behaviors as acceptable on a first date, but the gender gap is especially wide when it comes to having sex. About four-in-ten men (39%) say having sex on a first date can be acceptable at least sometimes, compared with 21% of women.

The difference between younger and older Americans is also widest when it comes to sex. While roughly four-in-ten adults ages 18 to 29 (42%) and 30 to 49 (38%) say having sex on a first date is always or sometimes acceptable, the shares are much lower among 50- to 64-year-olds (21%) and those 65 and older (13%). Adults younger than 50 are also more likely than their older counterparts to say that giving a hug and kissing on a first date are acceptable, but the differences are much smaller.

Democrats and Republicans mostly see eye to eye on whether hugging and kissing are acceptable on a first date, but Democrats (38%) are more likely than Republicans (21%) to say having sex is acceptable at least sometimes.

LGB adults are more likely than their straight counterparts to say kissing on a first date is acceptable, though large shares in each group say this (79% vs. 72%). And LGB adults much more likely than those who are straight to say the same about having sex (52% vs. 27%).

Breaking up with someone through technology, ‘ghosting’ are largely seen as unacceptable

Though people have been ending romantic relationships in impersonal ways at least since the advent of the Dear John letter , the countless new ways of communicating with romantic partners have brought up concerns that breaking up through technology may become the new norm. But despite the role technology plays in dating and relationships these days, most people say breaking up in person is the only acceptable way to do it – even with casual dating partners.

Nearly all U.S. adults (97%) say it is at least sometimes acceptable to break up in person with someone they are in a committed relationship with, including 88% who say this is always acceptable. By contrast, about half (51%) say it can be acceptable to break up through a phone call at least sometimes, with only 10% saying this is always acceptable. Much smaller shares say it is at least sometimes acceptable to break up through a text message (14%), email (14%) or a private message on a social media site (11%). In fact, majorities say each of those methods of ending a committed relationship are never acceptable.

Men are somewhat more likely than women to say ending a committed relationship over the phone can be acceptable (55% vs. 47%), but otherwise men and women mostly agree on these break-up norms.

Adults younger than 50 are more likely than those who are older to say it’s at least sometimes acceptable to break up through a phone call (57% vs. 43%), text message (16% vs. 11%) or social media private message (15% vs. 8%). There is no difference by age in whether it is acceptable to break up via email.

Most agree that breaking up in person is preferable even when it’s only a casual relationship

When asked the same question, but about a person breaking up with someone they are casually dating, the results are strikingly similar to those about ending a committed relationship.

Again, the vast majority (97%) say it’s at least sometimes acceptable to break up in person. Breaking up with a casual partner over the phone is seen as somewhat more acceptable than ending a committed relationship over the phone (64% vs. 51%), but still only a small share say this is always acceptable.

About one-in-five adults say it is always or sometimes acceptable to break up with a casual partner by text message (22%), email (20%) or social media private message (20%).

The patterns of gender and age differences are largely the same for breaking up with a casual partner and ending a committed relationship.

Only about one-in-ten single-and-looking adults say they would ‘ghost’ someone they didn’t want to see again

Despite apocryphal warnings of “ ghosting ,” or suddenly stopping answering phone calls or messages without explanation, few people on the dating market say they would do this after a first date. Only 8% say they would do this, compared with 40% who say they would contact the person and let them know they didn’t want to go out again. About half (52%) say they wouldn’t proactively contact the person but would let them know they weren’t interested if the person tried to get in touch.

Single-and-looking men are split on whether they would contact the person after the first date and let them know (47%) or wait for the other person to contact them before letting them know (also 47%). Meanwhile, women on the dating market are much more likely to say they would only let the other person know if they got in touch first (59%) than say they would reach out to let the person know (30%).

Young singles on the dating market – those ages 18 to 29 – are more likely than their older counterparts to say they would take the direct approach by proactively contacting the person. About half in this age group (49%) say this, compared with 37% of daters ages 30 to 49 and 34% of those 50 and older.

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