my relationship with my mother essay

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Mother — The Profound Influence of My Mom on My Personal Growth

The Profound Influence of My Mom on My Personal Growth

• Categories: Mother Personal Growth and Development

About this sample

Words: 579 |

Published: Sep 1, 2023

Words: 579 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Dr Jacklynne

Verified writer

• Expert in: Life

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

5 pages / 2064 words

3 pages / 1514 words

1 pages / 560 words

4 pages / 1801 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Mother

Clift-Matthews, Victoria. (2010). The Nature of Bonding and Attachment in Pregnancy. British Journal of Midwifery, 18(5), 310-315.Feldman, R., Weller, A., Leckman, J. F., Kuint, J., & Eidelman, A. I. (1999). The Nature of the [...]

In today's world, the concept of motherhood holds immense significance and is often celebrated for the love, sacrifice, and care that mothers provide to their children. This essay will explore the essence of what it means to be [...]

Becoming a mother is a profound experience that can have a significant impact on a woman's life. It is a journey that is filled with joy, anxiety, and uncertainty. As a mother myself, I can attest to the transformative power of [...]

The story of a hardworking mother is a testament to dedication and resilience. As she navigates the intricate web of responsibilities, she defies limitations and redefines societal expectations. Her ability to thrive as a [...]

Four years ago, during a cold winter, my mother's birthday was fast approaching, and she was about to turn fifty. As her special day was getting closer, I was contemplating on what to write for my mother's birthday [...]

Some time ago, my mother slept in my room and talked to me about my childhood. She said, ‘You were really terrible when you were a child. No one in the family can control you. I’m dying every three or five days.’ When you were a [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships

How it works

• 1 My Mother and the Challenges of Our Relationship
• 2 Loss, Struggle, and Mother’s Strain
• 3 The Long Road to Effective Communication
• 4 Building a Positive Relationship with My Mother
• 5 References:

My Mother and the Challenges of Our Relationship

The relationship between my mother and I has always been a difficult one. Growing up with a complete lack of communication in my family has made it difficult for me to maintain successful relationships with my family members, especially with my mother. Due to this lack of communication, my mother and I have had a hard time seeing eye to eye, which often creates an atmosphere of frustration and anger. Our arguments often escalated into aggression.

We argued a lot. We yelled a lot. We slammed doors in each other’s faces. And we cried too. The hard times that my family and I have endured together as a family are what led to a progressively more distant relationship with my mother. Only recently have I understood the importance of interpersonal communication, and I have taken courses to improve my family relationships. In this paper, I will discuss certain events in my past that led up to a negative interpersonal relationship with my mother. I will then talk about the relevance of improving interpersonal relationships and how I can personally take steps to make the one with my mother a more positive one.

Loss, Struggle, and Mother’s Strain

I was only seven years old when my family and I lost our house, business, and money during the 2000 market crash. My dad’s successful software company lost every penny in the repercussions of this crash. Immediately after this tragedy, my father became depressed and underwent a mid-life crisis where we barely saw him. It was up to my mom to hold the family down financially in one of the most privileged cities in the world, Palo Alto. She cooked for about 100 Stanford students every night from our own kitchen, and my siblings and I would deliver the food to their dorms. This hard work for so many years took a toll on my mom’s physical and mental being. As a result of this extreme stress, my mom soon became an unhappy, angry alcoholic. Since my mother started drinking heavily every day and my dad not being present in our lives, the relationship between my parents and I began to deteriorate.

The Long Road to Effective Communication

I was young at the time and could not emotionally understand why my mother was drinking all the time and why she would yell at me so often. I was emotionally naive and found it hard to cope with my family’s circumstances. Not only did my mom respond poorly to our situation, but I also reacted unwell to our family’s situation and to my mom’s alcoholism. Rather, I got angry with my mom when she was drunk by yelling at her in an aggressive manner. I also made poor choices at that time by staying out late most nights and often getting in trouble at school. When I came back home after midnight some nights, my mom would be up waiting for me. Although she was drunk by the time I got home and would yell at me, at the end of the day, she still cared and worried about me. These arguments lingered on for many years.

This continued for so many years because neither my mom nor I knew how to effectively and positively communicate with each other. We evidently cared and worried about each other, but instead of communicating just that, we responded with anger and resentment. In order to improve my relationship with my mother, I signed up for a Communication class at Foothill College to learn about interpersonal communication and how it plays an important role in maintaining successful relationships.

I learned in my Interpersonal Communications class that every relationship has its own communication climate. A communication climate can generally be described as the social tone of a relationship. This climate is how people interact with each other within their relationships. Communication climates can be positive or negative, and they can be changed or improved. That’s why it’s important to foremost understand what positive communication entails. A positive communication climate is one in which individuals feel a sense of value. In a positive communication climate, people perceive others as liking, appreciating, and respecting them – they feel valued. Messages say, ‘You exist,’ ‘You are important,’ and ‘You matter to me’. In contrast, a negative communication climate is one in which the participants do not feel a sense of value or appreciation. The messages here are called disconfirming messages, which get across as ‘I don’t care about you,’ ‘I don’t like you,’ ‘You’re not important to me,’ and ‘You don’t matter’. This is the type of communication climate that has formed between my mom and me.

Building a Positive Relationship with My Mother

For 22 years of my life, my mother and I have exhibited disconfirming communication, which has created a climate that was hostile and cold. The most destructive way my mother and I disagreed with each other was with aggressiveness. Aggressiveness is a means to inflict psychological pain by attacking another person’s self-image. The aim of aggressive behavior is to put down the other person’s worth, and it criticizes and sends messages of disdain. The quality of communication decrements, and interpersonal relationships are less efficacious in this negative communication climate. Overall, it is the messages we transmit in our day-to-day communications that build a relationship’s communication climate. According to Jacob, it is how we say what we say in the course of our day-to-day interactions.

These past six months, I have been focusing on relaying confirming messages to my mother. Confirming messages begin with endorsement, followed by acknowledgment, then recognition. Endorsement means all-out supporting my mom or communicating that I otherwise find her important. This is the fullest form of value and hence the most powerful type of confirming message. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to agree with everything my mom does or says, but rather that I can find something that I can endorse. An example might be, ‘I can understand why you are so angry.’ The next area on the spectrum is acknowledgment, a somewhat less strong confirming message. To acknowledge my mother, I have learned to listen to her as an indication of my interest. The last area on the scale is recognition, or the most fundamental tool of communication. Recognizing my mother’s thoughts and feelings is a powerful act in offering support when she has a problem.

The greatest technique I have learned and that has exhibited the most improvement in my relationship with my mother is nonviolent communication. Nonviolent communication is founded on the willingness to perceive issues or people in a non-judgmental way. This is important because if I want to change something that my mom is doing, I will create resistance. Rather, it is important for me to form a relationship with my mother that is built on openness, honesty, and trust. In order to accomplish a positive dynamic with my mom, we both have to listen to one another. I have to be willing to speak with her, listen carefully, ask questions, and offer feedback. It is vital for me to convey ideas and information accurately to my mom. Learning the importance of interpersonal communication has improved my relations with my family members, and I am grateful for that. Achieving a more positive communication climate at home has alleviated a lot of the tension in the house and has even made some of us happier.

To conclude, learning good communication skills is key to success in life and in your relationships. If a message does not have effective communication, it can likely result in error, misunderstanding, or frustration. Ineffective delivery of information can make or break your relationships. When you take the time to learn and practice good communication skills, you are more prone to improving and maintaining successful relationships in your life, just like the one with my mother and me. When we conquer the art of building healthy relationships, our lives become relatively easy to cope with, and we find a sense of true belonging in this world. In this paper, I discussed the circumstances that led up to ineffective communication and an unhealthy relationship with my mother. I then discussed the importance of achieving and maintaining positive interpersonal relationships with others and how I have improved the one with my mother.

References:

• Jacob, E. (1979). Interpersonal Communication: Strategies and Skills. 
• UniversalClass.com. (2018). Positive Communication Climates. UniversalClass.com, Inc. 
• UniversalClass.com. (2018). Disconfirming Messages: The Power of Hurtful Words. UniversalClass.com, Inc.  
• Dr. Brian’s SmartaMarketing Blog Number 1. (2011). The Importance of Effective Communication in Business. 
• Rosenberg, M. B. (2002). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. PuddleDancer Press.
• Ohlin, L. (2018). How to Cultivate Non-Judgmental Awareness. Mindful. 

Cite this page

My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships. (2023, Aug 02). Retrieved from https://papersowl.com/examples/my-mother-impact-of-communication-on-interpersonal-relationships/

"My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships." PapersOwl.com , 2 Aug 2023, https://papersowl.com/examples/my-mother-impact-of-communication-on-interpersonal-relationships/

PapersOwl.com. (2023). My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/my-mother-impact-of-communication-on-interpersonal-relationships/ [Accessed: 22 May. 2024]

"My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships." PapersOwl.com, Aug 02, 2023. Accessed May 22, 2024. https://papersowl.com/examples/my-mother-impact-of-communication-on-interpersonal-relationships/

"My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships," PapersOwl.com , 02-Aug-2023. [Online]. Available: https://papersowl.com/examples/my-mother-impact-of-communication-on-interpersonal-relationships/. [Accessed: 22-May-2024]

PapersOwl.com. (2023). My Mother: Impact of Communication on Interpersonal Relationships . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/my-mother-impact-of-communication-on-interpersonal-relationships/ [Accessed: 22-May-2024]

Don't let plagiarism ruin your grade

Hire a writer to get a unique paper crafted to your needs.

Our writers will help you fix any mistakes and get an A+!

Please check your inbox.

You can order an original essay written according to your instructions.

Trusted by over 1 million students worldwide

1. Tell Us Your Requirements

2. Pick your perfect writer

3. Get Your Paper and Pay

Hi! I'm Amy, your personal assistant!

Don't know where to start? Give me your paper requirements and I connect you to an academic expert.

short deadlines

100% Plagiarism-Free

Certified writers

• Entertainment
• Environment
• Information Science and Technology
• Social Issues

Home Essay Samples Life Mother

About My Mother: A Beacon of Love, Wisdom, and Inspiration

Table of contents, a mother's unconditional love, guidance and wisdom, inspiration through actions, a friend and confidante, cherished memories and traditions, a lasting legacy.

• Fredrickson, Barbara. "The Power of Unconditional Love: A Mother's Influence." American Psychologist, vol. 67, no. 4, 2012, pp. 284-295.
• Brooks-Gunn, Jeanne. "Guidance and Wisdom in Parent-Child Relationships." Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, vol. 59, no. 2-3, 1994, pp. 160-175.
• Burton, Lynda M. "Inspiration Through Parental Role Modeling." Child Development, vol. 82, no. 1, 2011, pp. 185-198.
• Landry, Susan H. "Mother-Child Relationships and Psychological Well-being." Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, vol. 33, no. 1, 2004, pp. 192-204.
• Yeh, Christine. "Cultural Traditions and Family Bonding." Journal of Family Psychology, vol. 28, no. 2, 2014, pp. 171-175.

*minimum deadline

Cite this Essay

To export a reference to this article please select a referencing style below

• Career Goals
• Grandparent

Related Essays

Need writing help?

You can always rely on us no matter what type of paper you need

*No hidden charges

100% Unique Essays

Absolutely Confidential

Money Back Guarantee

By clicking “Send Essay”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement. We will occasionally send you account related emails

You can also get a UNIQUE essay on this or any other topic

Thank you! We’ll contact you as soon as possible.

Talk to our experts

1800-120-456-456

• My Mother Essay

An Introduction to the Essay

The word Mother is a very pious word and whosoever is called by the name ‘Mother’ is a person who sacrifices and prioritizes her children over anything. Her whole Life revolves around the well-being of her child, their growth, their development, and their welfare. A Mother not just only gives birth to a child but she takes a Lifelong commitment to take care of her child. 

The only unconditional love in the world is the mother's love. My mother is my inspiration, my superhero, my best friend, and my guiding light. My life would not have been beautiful without my mother. Through ups and downs and in every step of life, she holds my hand and supports and encourages me. No matter what happens, my mother is always there beside me- cheering me up and motivating me. All mothers in the world are great and so, we should not celebrate their contribution in our life on Mother's Day only, which is 10th May, but every day of the year and throughout their life. It is because no gesture of appreciation is ever enough when it comes to acknowledging our mother. Her selfless love and sacrifice are the precious of all gifts under the sun.

An Essay on Mothers

My Mother- The Multi-Tasker

Mothers play an important role in everyone’s Life since she acts as a Protector, a Friend, and Guide for Life. A Mother does everything selflessly for her child and without any condition. There the love of a Mother is known to be Unconditional. 

The way she manages my family with utter dedication and devotion is inspiring. The relationship with my mother is something very hard to explain. I do not merely love her because she is my mother and we should respect our elders. I love her because she is my world and when I was not able to speak and communicate she took care of me, time and time again. The best part about my mother is that even though I have grown older she knows and understands my needs without me speaking a word. I learned kindness and love from her. She taught me no matter how bad a situation might get, only love can improve it in the most effective way. She has been the rock-solid pillar of my life and in every big moment of my life. 

My Mother has constantly supported me throughout my entire Life, whenever I am in a danger or in a situation where I am stuck, she has always been there for me, protected me, and guided me. She has been my favorite teacher who has taught me about Life and the beauty of it. She is the essence of truthfulness, sincerity, and lots of love. The only person who holds our family together is my Mother. She cares for everyone in the house and for the ones in need outside the house as well. One of the most beautiful things that I learned from my mother is empathy. Be it strangers or animals, she treats everyone equally which makes her more amazing. Moreover, she taught me to not hurt anyone on purpose and help people whenever possible. Not only this but also she taught me to not differentiate among rich or poor, beautiful or ugly. She says that it is the heart of a person that makes them beautiful and rich and not temporary possessions. 

My Mother is my constant source of encouragement, be it in Life or in school for studies. She has always inspired me to do other activities along with my studies. She has taught me to enjoy every aspect of Life and live Life to the fullest. She wants me to do those things in Life as well which she could not do or pursue. She is my backbone for everything. My mother has inspired me through her hard work and sacrifices. She taught me once never to get disheartened by failure and to keep challenging the failure with our honest effort. And one day, failure will pave the path to our success. The strength of facing hurdles and overcoming it is what I have learned from her. 

Mothers have never-ending qualities even though they do not get much credit for their goodness and hard work. She binds everyone in the family and plays a very important part in everyone’s Life. Even when I do something wrong in Life, she scolds me but at the same time, she makes me understand and helps me to get out of the situation. She forgives me after every mistake but ensures that I’ve realized my mistake first. She is the most selfless human being I have ever encountered in my life till now.

My mother knows me in and out. Even if I am lying she catches me immediately and I start feeling guilty. We should never lie to our parents and especially, to our mother. They simply do not deserve it. Mothers spend a significant part of their lives making us capable of standing on our own feet. Sometimes, they have to sacrifice their own career and happiness for that. So a mother's trust should never be destroyed. And when it comes to my mother, I would not change a bit about her. She is the best chef, reading partner, and an independent working woman who can balance almost everything with utmost perfection. Even her imperfection makes me proud of her. Without my mother, I would never become a better human being. My Mother is my biggest strength and makes me, even more, stronger when I go through all my ups and downs in life. The best thing she possesses is her patience. The patience she has is difficult for anyone to have. She deals with every situation in the family, in my life, or even in her Life with so much patience because of the reason the family is bonded so strongly. It is the responsibility of every child to appreciate their Mothers and give them the love and respect that Mothers deserve.

Study with Vedantu

Students can find all their necessary study materials and learning resources at Vedantu. Along with the Essay on Mothers, students can also find various other Essays on different topics with two ranges of both long and short examples. For more information and details, they can head over to the website of Vedantu. The Vedantu app can also be downloaded and skimmed through for more ease while studying.

FAQs on My Mother Essay

1. What is the role of a mother in a family?

Mothers provide an ideal environment for the family and are the best role model in everyone’s Life. She is the one person everyone in the family can totally depend on in Life. She is the only one who asks every member of the family at the end of each day if they’ve had their proper meals all day long or not.

2. What does a Mother do to provide a comfortable life to her children?

A mother works hard day and night in order to give her children a comfortable life. She teaches her children to believe in themselves and have faith in themselves and never give up on Life. She teaches them moral values and the difference between right and wrong and how one decision in their lives can impact their futures.

Descriptive Essay

Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Descriptive Essay About My Mother - A Guide to Writing

People also read

Descriptive Essay - A Complete Guide

Descriptive Essay Examples & Writing Tips

Top 250+ Descriptive Essay Topics & Ideas

Creating a Descriptive Essay Outline - Format & Example

Crafting an Authentic Portrait: A Guide to Writing a Descriptive Essay About a Person

Writing a Descriptive Essay About Myself - Tips and Tricks

Writing a Descriptive Essay About A Place - Guide With Examples

How to Craft the Perfect Descriptive Essay About A Person You Admire

Delicious Descriptions: A Guide to Writing a Descriptive Essay About Food

Write A Descriptive Essay About Nature With This Guide

Learn Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Autumn - Step into the Golden Season

Have you ever wanted to convey the depth of your feelings and appreciation for your mother through words, but felt unsure about how to do it effectively?

Crafting a descriptive essay about your mother can be a challenging task. You want to capture her essence, the love she's given you, and the incredible person she is. 

But how do you put all those emotions into words that truly do her justice?

In this blog, we'll provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to write a heartwarming and meaningful descriptive essay about your mother. 

We’ll also provide essay examples to assist you in crafting an enhanced paper, complemented by valuable tips and guidance.

Let’s get started.

• 1. Descriptive Essay - What You Need to Know
• 2. How to Write a Descriptive Essay About My Mother - 8 Easy Steps
• 3. Examples of Descriptive Essay About My Mother
• 4. Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Mother

Descriptive Essay - What You Need to Know

A descriptive essay is a type of essay that uses words to describe an object, person, experience, or place. The purpose of writing this type of essay is to provide the reader with a vivid and clear description of something. The writer must use sensory details, such as sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste to make the reader experience the topic.

When writing about a person such as your mother, you need to describe the characteristics that make her unique. It can include personality traits or experiences that make her special.

Reading a few essay samples will help you out! So read on to find good examples and tips.

How to Write a Descriptive Essay About My Mother - 8 Easy Steps

Writing a heartfelt and vivid descriptive essay about your mother requires careful consideration. 

Here, we'll guide you through the process step by step, helping you express your feelings and admiration effectively:

Step 1: Choose a Focus

Decide on a specific aspect or trait of your mother that you want to describe. It could be her appearance, personality, nurturing qualities, or a particular event that showcases her character.

Step 2: Brainstorm Descriptive Words

Make a list of adjectives and descriptive words that come to mind when you think about your mother. Try to capture the essence of her being.

Step 3: Create an Outline

Organize your thoughts by creating a descriptive essay outline . Decide on the structure, such as the introduction, body, and conclusion, and what aspects you'll cover in each section.

Step 4: Start with a Hook

Begin your essay with an engaging hook or an anecdote that draws the reader in. It can be a personal memory or a captivating description of your mother.

Step 5: Descriptive Details

In the body of your essay, use sensory details to paint a vivid picture. Describe her appearance, mannerisms, and the emotions she evokes. Incorporate the descriptive words from your brainstorming list.

Step 6: Emotions and Memories

Share your personal emotions and memories associated with your mother. How does she make you feel, and what experiences have shaped your relationship with her?

Step 7: Use Metaphors and Similes

Employ metaphors and similes to enhance your descriptions. Compare her to elements from nature, objects, or anything that can add depth to your portrayal.

Step 8: Show, Don't Tell

Instead of simply stating qualities, show them through actions, interactions, and specific examples. Let the reader experience her through your words.

Paper Due? Why Suffer? That's our Job!

Examples of Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Exploring essay examples can provide valuable insights for crafting an essay that deeply connects with your readers. 

Below, you'll find both a descriptive essay about my mother and an analysis of its content.

Why This Descriptive Essay Works

Here are several reasons why this descriptive essay is effective:

• Emotional Connection

The essay immediately establishes an emotional connection with the reader through its theme of a mother's love. The use of descriptive language and personal anecdotes invites the reader to empathize and relate to the feelings and experiences described.

• Vivid Imagery

The essay employs vivid imagery to paint a clear picture of the mother and her attributes. The descriptions of her eyes, hands, voice, and smile create a sensory experience for the reader, making them feel as if they are present with the author.

The essay uses symbolism effectively to convey the depth of the mother's love. The mother's eyes, for example, symbolize her wisdom and the shared experiences with the author. The use of the mother's hands as a source of healing symbolizes her nurturing and caring nature.

• Structure and Flow

The essay is well-structured and flows seamlessly from one descriptive element to another. 

It begins with a general introduction, moves into specific descriptions, and ends with a strong, heartfelt conclusion. This organization keeps the reader engaged and ensures a logical progression of ideas.

Tough Essay Due? Hire Tough Writers!

• Emotional Impact

The essay's emotional impact is profound. It not only describes the mother's physical attributes but also delves into the intangible qualities that make her special. The reader is left with a deep sense of appreciation for the role of a mother and the love she provides.

• Relatability

The essay's theme of maternal love is universal, making it relatable to a broad audience. Most readers can connect with the feelings of love, protection, and guidance that the author describes. 

If you still find it challenging to write a descriptive essay, consider these additional examples for guidance.

Descriptive Essay About My Mother PDF

Descriptive Essay About My Mother My Hero

Descriptive Essay Example About Mother

Descriptive Essay About My Mother 200 Words

Descriptive Essay On My Mother's Kitchen

Sample Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Here is a video of another short essay example about mother:

Want to read descriptive essays on other topics as well? Here are more descriptive essay examples that will help you out!

Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Mother

Now that you’ve read the examples, let’s look at some tips that will lead you to essay writing success.

• Start with the Basics

Begin by brainstorming ideas of what makes your mother special and why she is important to you. Think about her personality traits, accomplishments, quirks, and unique qualities. In addition, consider the ways that your mother has influenced you and shaped your life.

You can also practice your writing skills with other descriptive essay topics . So write away!

• Create an Outline

Once you have all of your ideas written down, create an descriptive essay outline that will guide the structure of your essay. This should include sections for your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

• Capture Her Essence

Use vivid language to capture the essence of who your mother is. Utilize descriptive words and phrases that will help your reader understand who your mother is and what she means to you.

• Show, Don’t Tell

Instead of simply telling the reader about your mother’s traits or accomplishments, use stories and examples to illustrate them. This will make your essay more interesting to readers.

• Keep Your Tone Consistent

Maintaining a consistent tone throughout ensures a cohesive narrative without feeling disjointed or scattered. This keeps readers interested until they reach their conclusion!

• Don’t Forget the Conclusion

Summarize the main points of your essay in your conclusion and provide a call to action for readers. Maybe you’ll leave them feeling inspired or motivated to do something special for their own mother.

• Revise & Edit Diligently

Revision is key when putting together any written piece. Read over your work multiple times and fix any errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Also improve any awkward phrasing or unclear ideas that might not be conveyed effectively enough.

To sum it up,

Writing a descriptive essay about your mother doesn't have to be difficult. With our guide and examples, you can easily write an effective essay that will make your mother proud! So get started today, and create the perfect essay for her!

By following these tips and examples, you will find it easier to write a meaningful descriptive essay about your mother. Good luck!

Looking for a professional descriptive essay writer to write it for you? We're right here for you!

You can trust our custom essay writing online for all your essay needs. We offer top-notch essay writing help to you get the best grade possible. Our essay writers are experienced and qualified to handle any essay topic with ease.

So get a high-quality descriptive essay writing service to make your essay stand out!

Write Essay Within 60 Seconds!

Caleb S. has been providing writing services for over five years and has a Masters degree from Oxford University. He is an expert in his craft and takes great pride in helping students achieve their academic goals. Caleb is a dedicated professional who always puts his clients first.

Paper Due? Why Suffer? That’s our Job!

Keep reading

Essays About Your Mom: Top 5 Examples and 5 Prompts

Some of the most important memories in our lives involve our mothers. If you need to write essays about your mom, our guide will help. 

A mother is a female parent of a child. Mothers nurture their children throughout childhood and, for many, throughout adulthood as well. The desire to support and protect our children is never ending for many mothers. 

Motherhood, however, is not always a genetic role. Many people foster or adopt children or find themselves acting in a parental role for someone else’s children. What matters is the effort you put into a motherly role; for most, the instincts are all there. 

It can safely be said that a mom is one of the most significant role models one can have in life and one whose influence continues to inspire. I once read a statement that said, ‘one day, you will realize your Mom is the best friend you will ever have.’ That is certainly true for me, and I hope for many of you.

If you are writing essays about your mom, our essay examples should prove inspiring.

5 Top Essay Examples

1. story of my mom by wilbur mckenzie, 2. an open letter to my mom, and all moms by samantha wolf , 3. my mom is a movie star by dan moore, 4. leader of my life: my mother by chelsea gonzales.

• ​​5. Your Mom Doesn’t Hate You, She’s Just Trying to Help You by Carly Newberg

5 Writing Prompts On Essays About Your Mom

1. the best memory of your mom, 2. a lesson your mom taught you, 3. what is your mom’s best quality, 4. your mom as a role model, 5. who is your mom.

“My mother believes in me, in everything I do, and is always positive about it. Every decision, task, and every level that I concur, my mom is always there, believing in me that I will succeed. Graduating 5th grade and moving up to 6th grade was a big step, just like graduating 8th grade and moving up to 9th grade was. But my mother believed that I would still do well in school and would enjoy it a lot.”

Mckenzie writes about his mother as his greatest influence and inspiration. He reflects on how his mom always makes sure he is well and how she loves the family unconditionally. He also describes her selflessness, as she volunteers for those in need and raises money for charity. Her mother’s love, selflessness, and encouragement inspire Mckenzie to try his best in everything he does, and he is genuinely grateful for her. 

“All I can say is thank you for being an amazing mother and all I want for you is to keep doing what makes you happy and brightens your day. Keep creating and going to the beach just to look at the ocean. Keep running, even if it’s not in marathons and don’t forget how awesome of a mother you are. Keep collecting seashells and spreading your positive energy everywhere you go. I love you, Mom.”

Wolf’s essay is addressed to her own mother and is composed of different notes and letters. According to Wolf, her mother is hardworking, optimistic, and devoted, and she recalls several moments they shared. The moments she describes are heartfelt and profound experiences that many can relate to. 

“To this day, she wakes up every morning, marches into our living room, and talks with cancer patients on the phone, lending them her empathy and expertise. It’s amazing, and I wanted her to know I saw all that. I wanted her to know I knew she’s always been a badass. I wanted her to know she’s an inspiration to me, a dynamic, courageous, capable, remarkable person I admire and study every day.”

Moore discusses his mother’s life beyond her role in his life. He briefly tells her life story, then writes about her work for a colon cancer foundation. She spends most of her time consoling and caring for cancer patients; only now is Moore able to appreciate what she is doing. He is in awe at all that his mom has been able to accomplish besides being a great mother to him.

“She utilizes her wisdom by teaching me the ways of life. She rejoices as I apply her teachings in my life and she understands me. The abundance of knowledge my mother has supplied me with continuously fills my life with rare and beautiful treasures.”

In her essay, Gonzales reflects on the spiritual lessons her mom has instilled in her. Her mother is a role model of a strong, Christian woman devoted to her family and God. She is always there for her daughter, giving her advice on how to handle difficult situations. Gonzales aspires to be just like her mother in everything she does, especially when raising her own children.

​​ 5. Your Mom Doesn’t Hate You, She’s Just Trying to Help You by Carly Newberg

“I’m not a parent (yet). However, I hope that when I am, I can take what I’ve learned from the obstacles I’ve faced with my mom, to keep the generational progress moving forward. After all, that is one of the beautiful gifts we’re given on Earth; To learn from the mistakes of our loved ones, map out our route accordingly, do our best to get where we are going, and accept the detours along the way knowing those after us will use them to love harder and live wiser.”

In this essay, Newberg discusses a phenomenon we are all too familiar with: mothers arguing with us. She explains that despite their seemingly curtailing actions, mothers always want what is best for us and are even struggling with whether their decisions are correct. Newberg suggests that we should be understanding of our mothers and use these experiences as lessons for how to parent in the future. 

For your essay, reflect on an experience with your mom that you treasure. Perhaps it is a birthday celebration, a trip out of town, or simply a conversation you had. Describe the events that transpired, how they made you feel, and why you treasure them as you do. Also, consider if your perception of this event has changed. Perhaps it has taught you more than you first thought.

One of a mother’s primary roles is to teach her children essential skills and lessons to prepare them for the future. Think about one or more things your mom taught you, whether life skills, values, or otherwise. You can be as general or in-depth as you want regarding what you’ve learned from your mom, but be sure to explain it adequately.

For an interesting essay topic, write about a quality of your mom’s that you seek to emulate- her patience, kindness, or fortitude. Discuss why you have chosen it, how it is essential to who your mom is, and how you hope to use it in the future. 

Mothers are role models to everyone, not only their kids but also to others they interact with daily. In your essay, you can reflect on a time your mom did something truly admirable that cemented her position as your role model. As with the other essays, describe the events, what you learned, and why you chose this. You may also comment on how it has shaped you as a prospective or active parent. Discuss any aspects of parenthood you would like to emulate and those you would not!

This essay topic may seem simple, but one can learn much about a person from a simple biography and reflection. Give readers a general idea of what your mom does, her role in your life, and how she has made you who you are today; paint a picture of this fantastic woman and why she is so important. You can include something about her background and note how it has influenced her, making her the mom she is. Also, you may consider whether any of her inherited traits have been passed to you. 

For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers . For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

View all posts

Repairing Your Relationship With Your Mother

Remember: your mother is a person who makes mistakes, just like you..

Posted May 1, 2018 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

How you related to your mother when you were young has a profound impact on your adult relationships—and your relationship with yourself. Your temperament, feelings of self-worth , anger style, sense of humor , and outlook on life are all things that were affected by your mother (or another primary female caretaker ).

While some were lucky enough to have a loving, supportive, and present mother who never caused us emotional distress many of us weren’t. If you are one of the unlucky ones, this article is for you.

I wish I could say it’s never too late to repair your relationship with your mother and leave it there. But the whole issue of repairing is too complicated for that.

For some, it is, in a way, too late. Your mother may have passed, or you may have decided that your relationship with her is too painful or harmful to keep her in your life.

In cases like these, the repaired relationship is one you carry within yourself, which helps you heal and feel whole even in her absence. For others, though, the repairing may include her—if you choose to.

Remember: Your mother is a person who makes mistakes—just like you.

When you were a child, your parents were larger-than-life figures. They were your heroes or your enemies, your bosses or your protectors. They were not regular people. Part of growing up is realizing that our parents are just that — regular people.

They’re flawed and they screw up sometimes (or a lot of the time). Most people do the best they can with the tools they have, including your parents. Flawed parents often had flawed parents of their own. Sometimes we try to correct the mistakes our parents made and end up overcorrecting. If your mother didn’t show enough kindness and love, you might show so much warmth and love to your children that they feel smothered.

I’d like to throw out a fancy-sounding term from social psychology here that might help explain this concept better: fundamental attribution error .

The fundamental attribution error is the tendency to view someone else’s flaws as representative of who they are, and your own as situational.

In other words:

When I cut you off in traffic, it’s because I’m late for an important meeting. When you cut me off in traffic, it’s because you’re a selfish jerk.

When I show a quick temper toward my child, it’s because I’m stressed out. When my mother got angry, it was because she was a bad parent.

Think back on interactions with your mother that have stayed with you since you were young and consider if the fundamental attribution error played a part in how you interpreted the event. If your mother was dismissive of your emotions, was it because she was a terrible mother? Or was it because she was wrapped up in her own stressful life, or because she didn’t know how to comfort you?

Does that make her dismissiveness okay? Absolutely not. But it makes it more understandable, and therefore perhaps easier to forgive .

Becoming a parent may change how you think of your mother.

I laugh at some of the stories I hear about how people’s perspectives of their parents changed once they had children of their own.

For example, the once-rebellious son who called his mother to complain about his infant daughter crying all night and keeping him up. He just wanted to thank his mother for “not throwing me out a window when I was a baby,” he said.

When we have children, it’s like a peek behind the scenes of our own childhood . Oh, so that’s what happened after they sent me to bed! At 10, you thought all the fun happened after your bedtime, and you resented your parents for making you miss out. Now that you have kids, you know that your kid’s bedtime means you finally have the freedom to… collapse into an exhausted heap, or to stay up late finishing all the work you didn’t get to do while you were busy driving them from school to soccer practice to the math tutor.

Healing when your mother is no longer with you.

When you can’t call your mother to tell her about your parenting experiences or ask why she behaved in a way that hurt you, it’s time to find a new “authority figure” or elder who can provide you with some of the benefits of a mother-child relationship.

A supportive therapist, personal coach, religious leader like a pastor or rabbi, or older family member can be good options when looking for someone to fill this role. You want to find someone who can offer you the unconditional acceptance you didn’t receive—or can no longer receive—from your mother.

When you repair your relationship with your mother, you don’t only heal the fissures in your relationship with that one person. You also improve your relationship with your significant other, your friends, your children—and yourself.

To read more about healing childhood emotional wounds, please visit my website , sign up for my newsletter , or find me on social media .

Andrea Brandt, Ph.D, was a marriage and family therapist in Santa Monica, California who brought over 35 years of experience to her roles in family therapy, couples counseling, group therapy and anger-management classes.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• United States
• Brooklyn, NY
• Chicago, IL
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York, NY
• Portland, OR
• San Diego, CA
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Washington, DC
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Self Tests NEW
• Therapy Center
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience

• International edition
• Australia edition
• Europe edition

My relationship with my parents has always been difficult and I wonder if I should cut all ties?

My relationship with my parents is difficult and painful and I am wondering whether I should continue to see them. I was the youngest child. My father is an alcoholic and was drinking when I was growing up (he has now stopped) and my mother was emotionally distant – working hard as the only supporter of the family, but spending much of her free time out of the house, away from my father. She  always provided me with clothes, books and amazing travel opportunities, but never gave me any emotional support.

As a teenager, I developed eating disorders. My father persecuted me, blaming me for the family’s problems. We had volatile fights. My mother didn’t know how to deal with this and buried her head in the sand. I attempted suicide twice. I was given antidepressants, but therapy never followed.

At 18, I left for university (my mother fought my father over this, as he didn’t want me to leave home). I struggled with my eating disorders for years, eventually stopping with the help of therapy.

I am now in my 40s, married to a wonderful, supportive husband, and love being mother to two happy children and enjoy fulfilling work. However, I struggle hugely when visiting my family. I only see them once every year or two. Everyone tries to act as if we are a big, happy family. I struggle to pretend everything is OK, as I am angry and hurt. My parents make hurtful, insensitive remarks that take me back to being a teenager. Part of me doesn’t want to see my family at all. I debate whether it is worth discussing these issues with them, but I am not sure they have the emotional intelligence to engage and fear I will be left vulnerable and disappointed again.

I edited out some key details to protect your identity. Sometimes, in complicated families, the tendency is to look back to try to make sense of things, and this has great merit. But it can take much energy, and provide little resolution. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to look at the now, and work forwards.

Chris Mills, an experienced psychotherapist ( ukcp.org.uk ), thinks it is amazing that, despite everything that has happened, you are not repeating patterns in your family and have created a good life for yourself. He says: “Sometimes, someone [in the family] takes a deep breath, does the work and stops the rot.”

Mills thinks there are some “green shoots” in the bleakness of your early years. Namely, that your mother did things that “could be described as emotional support in the way that she could. She showed that you had value and you were worth doing things for.”

I think the fact that she stood up to your father – when she usually didn’t – in facilitating you to leave home, was very telling.

You have been through some incredibly tough emotional landscapes and now you find yourself struggling with the way your family is. “What you seem to be finding unbearable,” says Mills, “is that you have to put a brave face on it [when you get together with your family], whereas you’ve dedicated your life to being authentic, and suddenly you have to go back.” Mills and I feel it is “crucially important” that you know you don’t have to continue having contact with your family.

But, some things to think about. Often when people write to me about wanting to sever contact, it is the actual act of cutting ties they focus on, but that is not the hardest bit; neither is it always the closure they hope for. You need to think about whether it is just your parents you want to cut ties with or your siblings, too? What about wider family? What about your children and their relationship with your family? It is up to you who you no longer see, and you can make it clear if you want your children to continue to have a relationship with them. But that may mean you also still have some contact (you don’t say how old your children are).

“If you decide you want to stay in contact,” suggests Mills, “you could do something incredibly brave – and you are incredibly brave. You could write them a letter – not an email – saying: ‘I want us to talk about the past, not to beat anyone up about it, but so we can have a shared reality, because I need that.’”

Of course, there may be no response. “As you see it,” says Mills, “there’s a family story your family cling to. And, largely, people don’t like it when others come in telling them that story is wrong. So they may rather scapegoat you than listen to your other story.”

I think you need to be realistic about how much they will change.

I asked Mills how you could accept the anger and he explained it was OK to be angry, but said: “Sometimes anger only recedes if you can express it.” But expressing it to your family – if they won’t listen – won’t bring the resolution you need.

But, says Mills: “All of us are entitled to protect ourselves from harm, wherever that harm comes from.” You have the right not to have to see your parents if you don’t want to. If you do still see them, “you have to manage your expectations,” says Mills. “If you do cut ties, remember you are doing it for the best reasons; it’s not an aggressive thing, but protective. There are conditions attached whatever you do. There will probably be no golden sunset where your parents are concerned. But you have created the golden sunset – in your own life.”

In the UK the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Other international suicide helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

Your problems solved

Contact Annalisa Barbieri, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU or email [email protected] . Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence

Follow Annalisa on Twitter @AnnalisaB

• Ask Annalisa Barbieri
• Parents and parenting

Comments (…)

Most viewed.

It was only after my mom died that I truly learned how to have compassion for her — and myself

• Tracey Yokas is an author, artist, and advocate.
• She has her master's degree in counseling psychology.  
• This is an excerpt from her memoir "Bloodlines: A Memoir of Harm and Healing."

I kicked off my flip-flops, sank my feet into the soft, warm sand. Faith stood beside me. Waves rolled onto the shoreline. July 20, 2013. The first anniversary of Mom's death .

Along with Mom's partner, Bob, who'd flown in from New Jersey, my husband Theo, my daughter Faith, and I were at the beach to pay tribute to Mom. It was Saturday. Families, couples, people walking their dogs, blankets, coolers, and umbrellas dotted the landscape.

Theo and Bob set up beach chairs. Faith and I turned around, our shadows shortish and roundish in the midday sun. Faith unfurled her towel, placed it right next to mine. She peeled off her top and shorts down to her bathing suit. A breeze rustled her hair.

At the beach, I reflected on times gone by

Nearby, a family building a castle reminded me of the days when Theo would bring a shovel and dig a giant hole. Kids, playing tag with the waves, screeched with glee, just like Faith had done at that age.

As she folded her clothes, I caught a glimpse of a scar, felt awash in gratitude for her health, her life, for what we'd survived, our resilience and ability to be together on this day.

I pointed to our beach bag. "Sunscreen," I said to Faith. "Don't need it," she said.

I was already slathered, of course, a giant floppy hat shading my face and shoulders. "I know, but use it anyway, please. You know how much you hate a sunburn."

She acquiesced, and the hiss of the aerosol can sent the chemical smell drifting my way. "I miss Grandma ," she said.

"I do too, love," I said. And it was true. Most of all, I missed what might have been. "She'd be so proud of you, though. She is so proud of you."

Sunlight danced on the water's crests and troughs; colors shifted from white to turquoise to deep blue. As soon as the beach had hit our sight line, Faith had relaxed — kindred souls, she and Grandma, in their love for the ocean .

Bob stood. "I'll be back." He headed toward the water's edge, his own footprints following along behind him.

I guessed he wanted to reminisce in private. We hadn't seen him since the previous year, when he'd driven out with Mom's ashes. It must have been as strange for him as it was for us, being together without her.

Faith lay beside me, soaking up the sun. Theo was reading. I ran my fingers through the fine, soft sand. I scooped some up and let it sift from my hand. I'd been journal-writing , reading, thinking, and talking more to my therapist about compassion, and I'd realized that she was right. Again.

I'd been mistaking an unhealthy tendency of self-sacrifice and pragmatic parts of the journey, like scheduling appointments and doing research, as compassionate acts that would, at least theoretically, lessen Faith's suffering — a tiny sliver of a much larger truth.

Compassion in action is actually a set of skills. Skills I'd never learned, requiring an ability to connect , in the fullest sense, with empathy, kindness, and understanding to our shared human experience. Similar to how I'd never learned how to repair communication, talk about difficult feelings, or set healthy boundaries. But therein lay the rub: in order to connect to anyone else in compassion, I first had to connect that way with myself.

Related stories

Faith sat up. Sweat beaded on her forehead, trickled down the sides of her face.

"I'm going in," she said.

In another lifetime, a mermaid . "Enjoy," I said.

She hopped across the hot sand. Theo closed his book. "You OK?"

"Yeah, just sad," I said.

"All you have to do is think of your mother, and she'll be here."

"I know. Thank you."

Waves bandied Faith about like Gumby in the wind. She dove headlong into an oncoming swell, popped up on the other side, and flipped over to float on her back. I spotted Bob's outline, the size of a Lego, down the beach. In light of the last year, everything I used to admire about myself — sarcasm, perfectionism, overachieving — now seemed so… harsh. Critical. Judgmental. Fake.

Bob returned with Faith hot on his heels. She smelled of salt and seaweed. "Here," she said, dropping a few shells on my towel.

"Pretty, babe," I said.

"Should we do the flowers?" Bob asked.

We honored Mom by tossing flowers in the ocean

I'd brought a small bouquet of carnations and unwrapped them now, releasing their sweet scent. I handed a single flower to Theo, Faith, and Bob, and kept one for myself.

At the water's edge, we spoke about my mom, Lauraine: mom, grandmother, partner, friend, survivor, vilomah — parent whose child died . Only now, for the first time, woman to woman, did I wish I could tell Lauraine how sorry I was about the death of her daughter, Lauren.

That whatever her deficiencies in mothering me, around which there would be much more to uncover and to heal, I saw she had loved, lost, and grieved. I sensed a softening toward Mom, as a person who had not had the capacity, for whatever reason, to recognize or acknowledge the repercussions of our bloodlines.

Bob spoke first, finishing with, "You never know what you've got until it's gone."

Theo probably said, "May her memory be eternal."Faith said, "I miss you, Grandma."

And me. I said, "I miss you, Mom. I love you."

Foamy residue swirled around our feet. "Ready, guys?" I said.

"One, two, three!"

We tossed our flowers into the sea.

Excerpted from " Bloodlines: A Memoir of Harm and Healing " by Tracey Yokas. Copyright 2024 Tracey Yokas. Published by She Writes Press.

Watch: Why one mother fled Texas to keep her child safe

• Main content

Filed under:

• Entertainment

The monsters that made me: Growing up disabled, all of my heroes were villains

Horror movies challenged my relationship with myself

If you buy something from a Polygon link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement .

Share this story

• Share this on Facebook
• Share this on Reddit
• Share All sharing options

Share All sharing options for: The monsters that made me: Growing up disabled, all of my heroes were villains

Every monster needs an origin story. Here’s mine.

I was born with a rare condition — radioulnar synostosis — which restricts the movement of my forearms. I am unable to turn my hands over palms up, the way you might accept loose change or splash water on your face or land an uppercut. I have lived with this condition all my life, and yet it wasn’t until my late 20s that I started referring to myself as “disabled.”

This word carries immense baggage, and many of us within the wide spectrum of disability tend to minimize our experiences or, as in my case, suffer from feelings of impostor syndrome. Could be worse , I often tell myself. You don’t deserve to call yourself disabled .

Coming to terms with my disability took a long time, to not only accept my identity, but also to discard the lingering shame and stigma that coincide with being disabled. A major part of this reconciliation was thanks to an unlikely source of solace — horror films.

I’ve been a horror obsessive as long as I can remember, but I only recently figured out how to articulate why the genre resonates so strongly with me. On-screen depictions of deformed, disfigured killers and creatures serve as reflections of my own otherness. The phantasmagoric realm of horror, though dark and violent, provides an outlet for me to express the discomfort, frustration, and anxiety surrounding my corporeal limitations.

From a young age, I subconsciously related to monsters, madmen, and every combination thereof. Many even taught me to frame disability in a positive fashion. The archetypal antagonists from the golden age of horror cinema — the Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster — all underwent a transformation to be imbued with extraordinary, otherworldly gifts. Their differences were a source of power, inverting the traditional view of disability as a hindrance, a burden.

My attraction to horror began innocently enough. There were clamshell VHSes galore at my babysitter’s house, including all the Disney classics, many of which were plenty horrific, like the “Night on Bald Mountain” sequence in Fantasia . I carefully studied the imposing figure of Chernabog, the winged, devil-horned demon summoning lost souls from the underworld. To me, he seemed benevolent rather than evil, a counterpoint to the sparkling sunrise that banishes him back to the shadows, an essential element of natural balance.

Disney’s version of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” oddly lumped as a double feature with The Wind in the Willows , presented another kindred spirit — the Headless Horseman. Decked in black and adorned with a blood-red cape, clutching a saber in one hand and a flaming jack-o’-lantern in the other, the Headless Horseman, for me, came to represent the extreme limits of human endurance. A cannonball takes the ill-fated soldier’s head and still his body lingers, perseveres.

Another seminal gateway wasn’t even a horror film. On its surface, The Wizard of Oz is a saccharine Technicolor musical romp, but the dream world its characters inhabit is full of menace — maniacal flying monkeys, spear-wielding Winkie guards, and my favorite, the iconic Wicked Witch of the West. Despite her green flesh and pointy chin, I found her beautiful, alluring, and endlessly more compelling than the picture-perfect Glinda. Astride her broomstick, flinging fireballs, stalking Dorothy and her companions through Oz, the Wicked Witch became the reason I watched an old tape of The Wizard of Oz so many times that the reel snapped.

As she pointed toward the camera with her spindly fingers and sharp nails, I imagined the Wicked Witch was singling me out, inviting me into her world. There, everyone was different, from the Munchkins, notably played by a cast of dwarf actors, to the main trio of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Cowardly Lion, who were all “defective” in their own ways, physically and mentally handicapped by the absence of some critical inner faculty. Why Dorothy was so desperate to return to the bleak, monochromatic reality of Depression-era Kansas was beyond me. I would have much preferred to stay in Oz.

By the time I finished elementary school, my tastes sharpened, and I craved harder, more acidic fare. My appetite had been steadily whet by a diet of gory comic books and yellowed Stephen King paperbacks. Cable television in the ’90s was also rife with kindertrauma-inducing spectacle. I was allowed to watch Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Goosebumps , since both were on kid-friendly channels. When left unsupervised, which was often as the child of a single mom who had to work multiple gigs, I could sneak episodes of Tales from the Crypt or X-Files . I knew there was a world of adult horror, and I wanted nothing more than to breach this forbidden zone.

Where to watch the movies mentioned in this piece

• Fantasia : Disney Plus
• Disney’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow : Disney Plus , as a part of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad 
• The Wizard of Oz : Max
• The Evil Dead : For digital rental or purchase on Amazon and Vudu
• The Brood : Max , Criterion Channel
• Castle Freak : Shudder, AMC Plus, and for free with ads on Tubi

I caught glimpses of it at the video rental store, where I was compulsively drawn to the horror section. I scanned the shelves, memorizing titles for future reference, studying the macabre cover art, scrutinizing the stills of sliced throats, hacked limbs, and oozing ectoplasm. Although I wasn’t allowed to take home anything rated R, I soon found loopholes that granted me access to films I was desperate to ingest.

Staying over at a friend’s house, we would wait until the grown-ups were asleep, then flip to HBO (a luxury we could not afford at my own home). It was there I first watched The Evil Dead , a personal landmark of my initiation into splatter flicks. My friend and I insisted we weren’t scared, as we cowered in our sleeping bags, squealing with perverse delight when the first possessed teenager stabbed her friend in the ankle with a pencil. We chattered throughout the movie to compensate for our obvious nerves, but by the time Ash Williams descended into the cellar searching for shotgun shells with a ravenous Deadite on the loose, the two of us had gone mute with fear.

Ash, armed with his trademark chainsaw, was clearly the hero (and himself destined to become an amputee in the sequel), but it was the Deadites who entranced me. When the demons seized control, the bodily degradation took effect. First, the teenagers’ eyes went white, and before long, their flesh wrinkled, turned sallow, decayed, bile and pus dripping from spontaneous lacerations. I had never witnessed anything so utterly bloodsoaked, resplendent in viscera, a film that relished in the ways a body can be corrupted.

Bodies are frightfully fragile, and we are all one small step away from an accident or illness that can permanently debilitate. Few filmmakers understand the body’s capacity for biological horror more than David Cronenberg , whose oeuvre introduced me to a world where disability is infused with latent eroticism and regenerative potential.

In high school, I got a job at the same video rental store I prowled as a kid. Now I had the freedom to take home whatever I pleased. The older guys who managed the shop would recommend titles to test my limits — Salò , Cannibal Holocaust , Irreversible . Cocksure teenager that I was, enduring “the most fucked up movie ever made” became my solemn quest. But disturbing or violent as they may be, few video nasties were capable of truly scaring me. Knowing I was a devotee of both horror and sci-fi, one of the clerks suggested I check out Cronenberg, so I took a chance on The Brood .

I was deeply unsettled by the story of an estranged couple fighting over custody of their daughter. What frighted me wasn’t the deformed, dwarflike progeny — birthed by the ex-wife and telekinetically driven to brutally murder anyone who crossed her. The broodlings were devoted to their mother, as was I, and would do anything to protect her. What shook me was Cronenberg’s metaphorical treatment of divorce, especially after watching my own parents’ messy split. The rupturing of a family resulting in physiological consequences illustrated the link between body and mind, a relationship of which I was all too aware, having dealt with depression as long as I could remember.

For many people with disabilities, physical and mental anguish are synonymous, feeding into one another. Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and alienation frequently accompany disability. More often than not, disability is chronic, permanent, and insoluble. It can be mitigated, people can adapt, but full-blown cures are elusive. My disability is one such case. I may have accepted this reality, come to terms with my fate, but the journey has not been without frustration, anger, and despair — the monster’s currency.

This explains in part why monsters act as they do. Pain begets pain. Violence begets violence. Fear begets fear. As such, the monster embodies the way we perpetuate trauma, wherein the victim becomes the aggressor. This is why we sympathize with Frankenstein’s monster or the Wolfman, because we understand that they were not born to be monsters — they were made that way by forces beyond their control.

Which is precisely why I cannot totally fault my all-time favorite Lovecraftian abomination, the titular Castle Freak from Stuart Gordon’s low-budget opus, another film I chanced upon at the video rental store. The freak is imprisoned from childhood by his deranged mother, routinely tortured until his face and body are a tapestry of grotesque wounds and scars. He escapes the confines of his dungeon and spies on the American family who has moved into his home, taking a special liking to the couple’s blind daughter.

While the freak wastes no time eviscerating unlucky victims, the lecherous, alcoholic father, played by the incomparable Jeffrey Combs, is no less redeemable. The freak’s feral nature is the byproduct of a lifetime’s abuse. The father, by contrast, has no excuse. Watching this film for the first time, I empathized with the freak and thought of my innate freakishness and the times I’ve lashed out or been cruel. What was my excuse?

Even as the maimed, distorted bodies of creatures like the Castle Freak or the Brood or the Deadites or the Wicked Witch mirrored real-world disabilities and offered me an escape, a safe environment where it was appropriate to root for the villain, I realized that I didn’t want to hurt people, to injure others as I’d been, whether physically or mentally. And more than anything, I was determined not to use my disability as a scapegoat, to behave like a monster and blame it on the way I was born.

Strange as it sounds, I learned to take ownership of my mistakes and embrace my faults through horror films, to forgo hiding behind a mask like the boogeymen in slasher movies. Horror demands that we not avert our gaze from “abnormal” bodies. It challenges our prejudices, our preconceptions. These are films that celebrate disfigurement and deformity instead of shunning it. I reject the notion that horror merely co-opts disability as a cheap scare tactic. When I watch a scary movie, I do not see exploitation — I see exaltation, the disabled not as demonic but as divine.

Loading comments...

‘My Mother's Eyes' Salem Horror Fest 2024 Review: Beautiful And Questionable Chaos

M other and daughter relationships are complicated even under the best of circumstances. So, they are one of the best places to start when mapping out a psychodrama like  My Mother’s Eyes.  Writer-director Takeshi Kushida's tale opens with a lengthy shot of a woman's eyes as she gives birth. Here is where the relationship between Hitomi (Akane Ono) and her daughter Eri (Mone Shitara) really begins. However, nothing in this movie is simple or as it seems on the surface.

Hitomi and Eri seem close at first glance. They’re celebrated cellists who perform together, after all. But something is amiss. As we're trying to figure out if Hitomi is jealous of her daughter or simply using her as an extension of herself, the movie takes a huge turn. As Eri tells Hitomi that she knows giving birth to her is her biggest regret in life, their car crashes. Hitomi awakens without sight and discovers that Eri is paralyzed from the neck down. This seemingly marks her daughter as a lost cause to her and she leaves her unconscious body in the hospital.

She sets out to regain her vision via a contact lens device with a built-in camera. However, she does return for one visit when her daughter awakens. She gifts her a pair of VR goggles so that they may share a single vision. This forces them to grow closer than ever before even though her mother is starting a new life. This is also where My Mother’s Eyes gleefully peels off the last thin layers of restraint and gets even weirder.

Also Read:  ‘Liminal' Salem Horror Fest 2024 Review: The South Is Scary

Hitomi is a cold woman and I love to see questionable moms in media because that’s reality. We shouldn't let her off the hook for abandoning her daughter's body in the hospital. Her idea to share the same vision and way too many intimate experiences, because they are now joined, is also concerning. I see glimmers of those mothers who pour all of their frustrations about giving up parts of themselves to raise a child onto their offspring. However, she's too interesting and complex to simply paint as a villain. Plus, there are bigger threats as she realizes the people who restored her sight have ill intentions. 

Putting Eri in the victim column, even though she’s a child who’s happy to finally be forming a genuine bond with her mother, is also reductive. It's heartbreaking when she asks her mother, "Why do you pretend you love me? Is it for me or for you?" and Hitomi doesn't have a satisfactory answer. However, the character is so much more than just a vessel for audiences to dump pity into. The family dynamics at play here are rich and interesting. The movie leaves you trying to untangle it all long after the credits are over. Much like Hitomi,  My Mother’s Eyes  keeps everyone at arm's length. This makes it hard to gauge how you should feel about it from one moment to the next.

Also Read:  ‘The Strangers: Chapter 1' Review: A Frustrating Attempt To Revive The Past

Off the bat, mama trauma is one of the most unsettling horror topics for me as a person. I'm in the majority of people who have a complicated relationship with my own mom. So, I was already stressed out before people started inserting things into Hitomi's eyeballs. I had to look away multiple times as I squirmed in my seat. The eye horror was the most distressing part of the film for me. I was completely fine with all of the people who fell victim to cello bows. However, the tense shots of fingers pushing futuristic contact lenses onto pupils are what sent me to hell. This is when I stopped wondering if this was basically an extended  Black Mirror  episode set in Japan. 

My Mother’s Eyes  is a bold and artistic story about a mother and daughter discovering they are soulmates. As the story goes on, the line dividing where one begins and the other ends gets more literal and less metaphorical. It manages to rise above the expectation of a film at the intersection of arthouse and  Black Mirror . It reaches for something more unique as the chaos continually escalates in unexpected ways. I doubt this strange movie will be everyone's cup of tea. However, I love a tale that investigates the complexities of mother-daughter relationships and doesn’t give you easy answers. I'm also here for movies that paint outside the lines, almost daring the audience to rethink what they have been taught about storytelling. I find that commendable in this age where people go to TikTok with conservative moral outrage while refusing to do even the most basic script analysis. 

Did you also see  My Mother’s Eyes  at  Salem Horror Fest  this year? Then let me know if you also enjoyed this cool and strange movie at  @misssharai .