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Describe an Event that Changed Your Life (or, Changed You) in a Good Way - IELTS Speaking Cue Card Model Answer

Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way..

You should say:

when it happened

where it happened

what the change was

and explain how you benefited from this change.

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Model Answer 1

A pivotal moment that redefined my life occurred during the summer of 2018, in the serene surroundings of a mountain retreat. This life-altering event was not marked by grand fanfare; instead, it was a quiet realization during a meditation retreat. The change was profound yet subtle – it was the embracement of mindfulness and a newfound appreciation for the present moment.

Before this experience, my life was in constant fast-forward, with my mind perpetually racing from one worry to the next. It was during a session of guided meditation, enveloped by the tranquil mountain air and the gentle rustling of leaves, that I experienced a profound sense of peace. This tranquility was not merely the absence of noise; it was an awakening to the beauty of the present.

This transformation has had lasting effects on my life. Embracing mindfulness has allowed me to approach daily challenges with calmness and clarity. Stressful situations, which previously overwhelmed me, now seem manageable as I have learned to maintain a composed and focused mind. This change has enhanced my interpersonal relationships as well; I listen more attentively, respond more thoughtfully, and appreciate the nuances of communication. Moreover, this shift has positively influenced my career, where the ability to remain present and composed under pressure is invaluable.

In essence, the change was not just in my actions, but in my perspective. The realization that living in the moment is not just a phrase, but a transformative practice, has been the cornerstone of this positive shift. This journey towards mindfulness has not only enriched my personal experiences but has also imbued me with a sense of serenity and purpose, attributes that have significantly enhanced the quality of my life.

Why this is a High Scoring Answer

This sample answer is an exemplary response to the question, "Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way," and serves as a model for those aiming to achieve high scores in the IELTS Speaking section. Here's a detailed breakdown of why this answer is effective:

1.    Comprehensive Coverage: The answer thoroughly addresses all aspects of the question. It clearly states the when (summer of 2018) and where (mountain retreat) of the event. The what (embracement of mindfulness and appreciation of the present moment) and the explanation of how the candidate benefited (improved handling of stress, enhanced interpersonal relationships, and positive career impact) are also well-articulated.

2.    Depth of Reflection and Personal Insight: The response demonstrates deep personal insight, reflecting on how the candidate's life was before the event and the transformative impact it had. The journey from a life in "constant fast-forward" to one of "mindfulness" shows a profound level of self-awareness, which is a key aspect of effective communication.

3.    Descriptive Language: The use of descriptive language, such as "tranquil mountain air" and "gentle rustling of leaves," paints a vivid picture for the listener, engaging them in the narrative. This ability to create imagery is a hallmark of advanced language skills.

4.    Cohesiveness and Fluency: The response flows smoothly from one point to the next, maintaining a clear and logical structure. This cohesiveness is essential for keeping the listener engaged and for conveying thoughts in an organized manner.

5.    Vocabulary and Grammar: The answer showcases a wide range of vocabulary and complex grammatical structures, without compromising clarity. Phrases like "profound sense of peace" and "embracement of mindfulness" are indicative of a high level of language proficiency.

For those looking to further enhance their preparation, our exclusive IELTS books (pdf download) delve into these aspects in greater detail. These resources are crafted to guide you through mastering the nuances of the English language, ensuring you can confidently articulate experiences and ideas just as effectively.

This sample answer exemplifies what you can learn and replicate with our expert guidance. Remember, your journey to achieving a high IELTS score is not just about learning the language; it's about learning how to convey your unique experiences and insights in a way that resonates with others.

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Model Answer 2

One transformative event that significantly reshaped my life's trajectory occurred in the autumn of 2016, amidst the bustling streets of New York City. This defining moment was not one of dramatic revelation, but rather a gradual awakening sparked by volunteering at a local community center.

The change was a deep-seated shift in perspective, from a self-centered worldview to one marked by empathy and a commitment to service. Prior to this experience, my life revolved around personal ambitions and material success. However, engaging with diverse individuals from various walks of life, all converging at this hub of community activity, opened my eyes to the broader spectrum of human experience.

The transformation was multi-faceted. On a personal level, I developed a profound sense of gratitude for the privileges I had taken for granted. This shift in mindset led to a more fulfilling life, where happiness was not solely derived from personal achievements but also from the joy of contributing to the well-being of others. Professionally, this experience broadened my horizons, inspiring me to pursue a career in social work, a field I had never previously considered.

Moreover, this volunteering stint honed my interpersonal skills, teaching me the value of active listening, empathy, and effective communication. These skills have not only made me a more compassionate individual but also a more adept professional, capable of building meaningful relationships and understanding diverse viewpoints.

In essence, this experience redefined my life's purpose. It instilled in me the belief that true fulfillment comes from serving others and contributing to a greater good. This newfound purpose has guided my decisions and actions, leading to a more enriching and rewarding life journey.

This sample answer is an excellent illustration of how to effectively respond to the topic, "Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way." It stands out as a high-scoring answer for several reasons:

1.    Fulfilling the Question Requirements: The speaker vividly recounts an event - volunteering in New York City - that brought about a significant change in their life. This directly addresses the topic, detailing both the event and its transformative impact.

2.    Depth of Personal Growth and Insight: The answer showcases a profound personal transformation from a focus on self to a dedication to service and empathy. This level of introspection and reflection on personal growth demonstrates a deep understanding of the subject matter, which is essential in conveying a compelling narrative.

3.    Rich and Descriptive Language: The use of descriptive and emotive language, such as "gradual awakening" and "deep-seated shift in perspective," enhances the quality of the response. This not only engages the listener but also shows mastery of language, a critical component of the IELTS Speaking test.

4.    Cohesive Structure and Flow: The response is well-structured, with a clear beginning, development, and conclusion. This coherence in storytelling ensures that the listener can easily follow and understand the narrative.

5.    Variety in Vocabulary and Sentence Structure: The speaker employs a wide range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures, demonstrating linguistic proficiency. Phrases like "multi-faceted transformation" and "instilled in me the belief" are examples of advanced language use.

6.    Relevance and Relatability: The narrative is relatable and grounded in real-life experiences, making it more impactful and genuine. Discussing the impact of volunteering on both personal and professional levels makes the response more comprehensive and relevant.

For those eager to craft equally compelling responses and enhance their IELTS Speaking skills, our exclusive IELTS books (pdf download) are an invaluable resource. They provide you with insights and strategies to articulate your experiences and ideas with clarity and confidence, mirroring the high standards demonstrated in this answer.

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Model Answer 3

A pivotal moment that irrevocably transformed my life unfolded in the spring of 2019, against the backdrop of the historic city of Rome. This life-altering event was my first solo international travel experience, a journey that not only spanned continents but also expanded the horizons of my mind.

The change was profound and multifaceted. Embracing the unknown, navigating through the labyrinthine streets of a foreign land, and immersing myself in a culture vastly different from my own, instilled in me an unshakeable confidence and an insatiable curiosity. Prior to this expedition, my world view was limited, shaped largely by my immediate surroundings and second-hand narratives. However, this solo voyage introduced me to the rich tapestry of global cultures, languages, and perspectives.

The transformation was both personal and intellectual. Personally, the journey fostered a sense of independence and self-reliance that I had never experienced before. Each decision, from choosing the next destination to overcoming language barriers, was a step towards self-discovery and growth. Intellectually, it broadened my understanding of the world, teaching me the value of cultural diversity and the importance of global interconnectedness.

Moreover, this travel experience refined my problem-solving skills and adaptability, traits that have proven invaluable in both personal and professional realms. It taught me to approach challenges with a calm and open mind, turning obstacles into opportunities for learning and growth.

In summary, this solo journey was not just a physical traverse across countries; it was a voyage into the depths of my own potential. It reshaped my identity, turning me into a global citizen, eager to explore, learn, and connect with the diverse tapestry of humanity that makes our world so rich and fascinating.

This sample answer excellently addresses the topic "Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way," and here's a detailed analysis of its strengths:

1.    Directly Addresses the Topic: The speaker immediately engages with the topic by describing their solo travel to Rome. This direct approach ensures that the listener understands the relevance of the narrative to the topic.

2.    Depth and Insight: The response reflects a deep level of personal and intellectual growth. The speaker talks about gaining "an unshakeable confidence and an insatiable curiosity," showcasing significant self-awareness and development.

3.    Descriptive and Vivid Language: The use of descriptive phrases like "navigating through the labyrinthine streets" and "the rich tapestry of global cultures" not only demonstrates a high level of language proficiency but also keeps the listener engaged.

4.    Clear Structure and Cohesion: The answer has a well-organized structure, flowing logically from the introduction of the event to its personal and intellectual impact. This clear progression of ideas is crucial for coherence and listener comprehension.

5.    Demonstration of Key Skills: The narrative illustrates important qualities like independence, adaptability, and problem-solving, which are highly valued in both the IELTS criteria and real-world scenarios.

6.    Cultural Awareness and Global Perspective: The speaker's reflections on cultural diversity and global interconnectedness show a broadened worldview, a key aspect of a high-scoring IELTS response.

For those aiming to achieve similar depth and proficiency in their IELTS Speaking responses, our exclusive IELTS books (pdf download) provide you with the tools and insights necessary for success. These resources, designed with you in mind, offer strategies to enhance your speaking skills, enabling you to articulate your experiences and ideas with clarity and confidence, much like the response given here.

In an IELTS Speaking exam, it's crucial to present ideas in a manner that is not only articulate and well-structured but also personal and reflective. This sample demonstrates how you can successfully achieve this balance, making it an excellent model for high-scoring responses.

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Describe an important event in your life that you celebrated.

You should say:

• What the event was
• When it happened
• Who attended the event

And explain how you feel about the event

Step 1: Choose quickly any event in your life (Note: don’t spend too much time choosing).

Step 2: Make a basic outline for the answer (just abbreviated, write briefly). Think about the direction in which each idea will develop and good vocabulary to include.

Step 3: Speak at a moderate speed, paying attention to the conjugation of verbs, nouns, grammar, and pronunciation.

Basic outline

Sample Answer

I would love to tell you about one of the most important events in my life, which is my 18th birthday. 

By that time, I had just graduated from high school and was a freshman. This was such a  turning point  in my life – I had to leave my hometown behind to move to a new city where I knew almost no one. I was kinda  clueless  about my future without family and closest friends  by my side . 

And there came my birthday. Luckily it was on weekends so I decided to return home to celebrate it with people I loved. That event indeed  refreshed  me. Once again, I was surrounded by my family and friends whom I had always missed from far away. 

What happened was that we  had meaningful conversations . In these conversations, I  had a chance to  express all my feelings, like how homesick I was, and how lonely I felt when I was in a new environment. My parents and friends encouraged me a lot by saying that I  got their back  anywhere anytime. They would always  be there for me . 

From that moment on, I realized that I had grown up with much love and support. I felt bigger and stronger. Thanks to that, it can be difficult to stay away from them, but I feel like I can  stand on my own feet .

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An Important Event In Your Life (Essay Sample)

Table of Contents

Introduction

What experiences changed your life for the better (or worse)?

The sample paper below shares an author’s take on a memorable event (or two) that transpired in his own life. He describes how these experiences made him feel and what he took away from them. He emphasizes that even though these were brief moments from the past, he continues to apply the lessons he learned from them to this day.

Do you have a happy event from your own memory bank that you want to write about? Let us help you with your paper with our essay writing services .

An Important Event in Your Life Essay

We don’t really make it a point to remember every detail of our day. When the next day comes, the previous 24 hours become a blur. But if something unexpected or remarkable happens, it can be memorable for the rest of their lives.

I am sure that everyone has an event that is unforgettable, some so much so that they would rather forget the memory because it triggers old wounds. There are good memories that regularly make us happy when we talk about or share them with people. On a more positive note, there are events that teach a certain lesson and end up becoming a fundamental life conviction for someone.

Life has so many twists and turns. We don’t always know what’s around the corner. This paper seeks to narrate two important events that happened in my life, which continue to have a significant impact on me to this day.

Recalling a Significant Event in My Life

I remember spending 10 days in Missouri Relationship of Understudy Chamber’s late spring authority camp in 2005. I consider it one of my most life-shaping experiences. Those ten days were a series of the most helpful experiences of my journey.

The opportunity came through our Understudy Committee at school, which I joined during my senior year. When I first attended as a Level 1 camper, I was overpowered by other very dominant and outspoken campers. I didn’t know how I would fit in since I was slow to warm up around new individuals.

We were then assigned to one of 26 unique chambers. I was in Chamber ‘M’. That week transformed me from a new shy student board member to a person who was confident and assured, even in my first year in student council.

The most highly-awaited event that we mounted was the Olympics. Each chamber met up and took part in various recreations. This was the point at which our council first empowered me to step outside my comfort zone. I was able to discover, from that experience, how powerful collaboration can be, and how to best maximize people’s skill sets. A highlight of that day was also the show. Every committee performed their comedic version of a well-known song before the whole camp.

While I am, by nature, an intensely competitive person when motivated, I understood that night that it did not make a difference who won. All that mattered were the memories made and stories that would be told years from now.

Another Very Important Event

I also remember how I longed to ride a plane for the first time when I was in high school. I wanted to know how it felt to be suspended in mid-air and not have control over the trajectory. I also admired the structure of a plane. To me, it resembled an enormous hawk with its huge wings extended.

I finally got my chance one day. After entering the airport, purchasing a ticket, and checking in, I boarded the plane. The seats were very comfortable. We were taught how to put on our seatbelts and were instructed to do so before take-off. When the plane took off, several passengers shrieked in delight. A flight attendant distributed lemon juice to avoid nausea, which I eagerly accepted.

After an hour, it was announced that we were about the land. It was so exciting to see the landscape from up in the clouds. When we touched down, I was even more eager to tour my destination. I left the airport happy and grateful. It was indeed one of the most unforgettable firsts of my life.

I have many more cherished life experiences, but these two top the list. What’s in your top two?

Regardless of how long ago they happened, our fond moments will always be in our core memory bank. They will bring to mind joy, nostalgia, and happiness; and we’ll remember them as if they just happened yesterday. Take time to revisit the significant events in your life today. Such things will inspire you to make more beautiful memories that will make for grand anecdotes one day. May your memories bring you joy, life, and peace.

Interesting Event In My Life (Short Essay Sample)

While I can think of many events that I can remember and narrate by heart, one stands out to me as an experience that taught me a very crucial life lesson.

During my freshman year, I had to move to a new school. The thought of making new friends excited me, but the idea that some of the students may not find me likable also made me extremely nervous.

On my first day, I kept my head down and focused on my school work, out of fear that I might make a mistake. Surprisingly, over the next few days, several people from class made the effort to befriend me. It gave me the confidence boost I needed to be myself around them.

These people eventually became like family to me, and we spent our free time together all the way until senior year. Parting ways for college was heartbreaking because we didn’t know when we would see each other again.

I will always be grateful for the moment these people initiated a friendship with me. Most people wouldn’t spare the new kid a second glance, but they took the leap of faith.

What Are Examples Of Life-Changing Events?

An important event in your life can range from light and funny to deep and profound. It could be the day you meet your best friend or the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It could also be the day you chose your university or when you figured out what you want to focus on for your future. It could also be that summer you finally learned how to bake or when your parents surprised you with a graduation trip as a gift. On the other end of the spectrum, it could also revolve around the death of someone you held dearly to your heart, or when you stopped talking to a close friend for two years after falling out.

What Are 3 Important Life Events?

• Getting that pivotal grade that will bring up your total average is a momentous occasion for students as it makes graduating a certainty. It also marks a valuable accomplishment in your season of being a learner.
• Finishing university is a feat that changes you for the better because it fuels you towards an exciting yet unknown future. The fact that you are about to enter the real world as a prepared person is thrilling and nerve-wracking.
• The death of a loved one is a bittersweet experience because it will make you miss the dearly departed terribly. It is a time of understanding and embracing grief.

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An Important Event in My Life: a Reflection

Table of contents, the event: a defining moment, lessons and transformative impact, personal growth and empowerment, present and future influence.

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• Career Goals
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• Spring Break
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Follow YES! For Teachers

Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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Family Matters Practical Parenting Blog

• Make a list: Events that Have Shaped Your Life

If you’re a regular visitor on this blog, you know by now that coming up with a list of 100 items is a stretch that helps you understand yourself better and contributes to your personal development. If this is your first visit, please start from the beginning .

Events in our life shape our thinking, beliefs and overall attitude. When I ask people, “Please share the things that have shaped your life”, they come up with big things, mainly traumatic events that were hard to ignore.

I can relate to this too, because when I worked on my own list, the first things that came up were the big things – moving house, changing city, changing country, the birth of my kids, loss and painful failures. I did have some positive, wonderful, exciting events too, like the birth of my kids and winning prizes and awards, but there weren’t as many of them as there were hits.

Focusing on the big things is natural. However, I believe that the small things, the ones we neglect to pay attention to, may contribute a lot to how we conduct ourselves in a way that we hardly recognize.

I’m saying this is because very often, when my clients bring up their past and examine it, they talk about small incidents that were big for them at the time, even out of proportion.

A friend told me, “For years, I couldn’t speak out because when I was 13, I stood in front of many people and my voice sounded funny. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life”.

One of my clients felt rejected by her mother, because “When I was 12 (30 years ago), my mom said to my aunt she hadn’t wanted to have another child and that I had been ‘an accident'”.

Boosters and Changers

Although we may be unaware of these “little” events, they have a great influence over us and switch us from one path to another. Think about it as if you were flying through an asteroid field. Every asteroid in your path (event in your life) impacts you in one of three ways:

• Has no impact, so you just keep going
• Becomes part of who you are and increases your mass (energy, motivation), so you keep going in the same direction, but smaller obstacles no longer matter
• Changes your direction

Happy and Unhappy Life Events

It’s tempting to think that we get a boost from happy events and our direction changes from unhappy ones, but this isn’t necessary true. Sometimes, unhappy events help us move forward faster and do bolder things.

A great example of an unhappy event that motivates many people is the event of getting really sick. This causes many to take charge of their life and finally do all the things they have only dreamed of before.

An example of a happy event (definitely one of my top happy events) that triggers a huge change is the birth of your first child and becoming a parent. I remember how in a split of a second, while hugging my daughter (now 20 years old – isn’t she gorgeous?) and breastfeeding her, the whole world faded and my priorities changed dramatically.

I often say to my kids that having kids while studying is a big challenge, not because of money or having to go to work, but because of priorities. Before Eden was born, I was the best student – I did all my assignments, I passed all my exams with flying colors, I was an example student and did brilliantly.

The second she was born, I stopped caring about my grades and didn’t have to be the best anymore. Luckily for me, I had finished most of my degree in the first 3 years, I only had 2 courses to complete after Eden was born and one of my courses was practical (and I was good at the practical side, so I did not have to put in a lot of extra effort).

I don’t regret the change in my priorities and I don’t regret that it took me on a different adventure, but this change was still caused by a happy event.

When you make the list of 100 events that have changed your life, you are writing a biography that is limited to 100 significant events from birth until today that were boosters or changers. It’s important to recognize your perception of the events as happy or unhappy and also their rating of how strong they were for you at the time.

How to list 100 events that have shaped your life

• Write events you believe have changed your life, NOT “my mom said it changed me” – this is about your own perception.
• Going over events in a chronological order may help you uncover more details about your life. Go over memories from childhood. Try to remember things from as early as 3 years of age or even earlier. If you remember them, they were probably significant. Beware of memories that were given to you by others, like “this was the best day of your life” (even through you have no recollection of that day).
• Think of special birthdays and find some that were meaningful for you. A birthday that has shaped your life, a gift you remember specifically, etc.
• Think of family gatherings . Family gatherings can be awesome and change life. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
• Find significant times at school , awards, failures, horrible teachers, angel teacher that have helped you become who you are today. Remember school breaks , parties, exams, report cards, challenges. Start from Grade 1 and go all the way up beyond higher education if necessary.
• Recall friends you have had over the years and what you got from each of them. Go over 2-3 friends in preschool (only if you remember), 2-3 in primary school, 2-3 in high school, etc. Friends have a great way of shaping our life. I believe that friends we have over the years are there to teach us the best lessons of our lives. If you come up with a list of 20 good friends over your life and think of what each of them has given you and under what circumstance, you will be on track towards your 100 list

• Birth of siblings seems to be a popular event that many people feel has changed their life. Unfortunately, for most people this event isn’t a happy one, but it doesn’t have to be like that. I think my daughter would write that the birth of her brother was an event that has shaped her life in the most positive way, because she had to wait for him for too long.
• Changing school/house/country. I can tell you for sure that my move to Thailand has changed me dramatically (it has even inspired some of the writing for my upcoming book, “Reflections”).

• Something unpleasant someone has done to you . Notice this is a perception – at the time of the event, you thought it was a bad thing and acted on it. Don’t beat yourself over your perception in the past. It’s only natural. When I was a kid, I had a different perception and many things people did, I perceived as nasty, but in from perspective of 30 years later, I realized they were probably limited to what I knew or understood back then. Remember, the reason we’re doing this isn’t because we can change the past, but because understanding how significant events impact us can teach us a lot about ourselves.
• A fight you have had with someone. Conflicts, fights, arguments at different times of our lives can be boosters or changers. I remember many years ago, after reading Illusions by Richard Bach, I decided to stay away from negative people and a fight I had with someone boosted me to limit the time I have spent with this person since.

• Places you have visited . After visiting Bryce Canyon and seeing all its glorious beauty, I became a different person. Living in Thailand, the “land of smiles”, where people are happy despite their poor conditions, has shaped my life big time. I don’t think it was a booster, it was a changer. Life couldn’t go back to where they were before. I was on a totally different track. For example, I finally understood why I needed more patience.
• Traumas that have changed your life. I’m sure there’s no need to expand on this one.
• Successes and victories that have changed your life. Many times, successes are great boosters and help us build motivation to move forward towards the desired destination. The kid in this photo is one of my greatest victories in life.
• Failures that have changed your life . Again, they may fall in the category of traumatic life events, but they can just be things you haven’t succeeded at and have de-motivated or frustrated you in a way that has changed you.

• People you have met during your life that have changed your path and shaped your life. When I think of this section of my events list, I have plenty of people that have made a difference in my life and I carry some part of them with me. Gal is a person I have met who has shaped my life greatly.

I wish you a very enlightened biography of the events that have shaped your life. Remember, when writing each of them down, think if it’s boosted you or changed your direction and how. It’s a good way to find out how the mechanism of this machine called “you” works.

Join me next week for the list of 100 ways to be kind. In the meantime, feel free to describe significant life events and their impact on you in the comment box below.

Happy and empowering discoveries, Ronit

This post is part of the series Make a List :

• Make a list: List Making
• Make a list: About Myself
• Make a list: Friends and Friendships
• 100 Things I Want to Be, Do and Have in My Lifetime
• 100 Things that Make Me Happy
• Make a list: Childhood Memories
• How to Clean Away Resentment and Be Happy
• 100 Ways to Say “I Love You!”
• Make a list: What I like about me
• Make a list: Birthday Presents to Ask for
• Make a list: Improve My Life
• Make a list: Things to tell my parents
• Make a list: Beliefs about Money
• 100 Feelings I Want to Feel (and how to feel them)
• Make a list: If I Could Live Forever
• Make a list: Beliefs about Kids
• Make a list: Beliefs about Kids cont.
• Make a list: Ways to be kind
• Make a list: Be More Productive
• Make a list: Mistakes (and what I can learn from them)
• Make a list: Expectations
• Make a list: Beliefs about Traveling
• Make a list: Rules I Follow
• Make a list: Good Parenting Qualities
• Make a list: Excuses
• Make a list: Quotes to live by
• Make a list: How to use my time better
• If I Were Santa Claus
• What I Would Do If I Had One Year to Live
• Make a list: Movies I loved
• Make a List: My Fears
• Make a List: Find your Happy-ism
• Make a List: Inspiring People
• Make a List: Books that have changed my life
• Make a list: Inspiring Movies
• Things to Be Grateful for
• Make a List: Ronit’s Gratitude Examples List
• Make a list: Life Lessons Learned
• Make a List: Self-Kindness
• Make a List: 100 Ways to Be Kind to Myself
• 100 Things I Want People to Think of Me
• Make a List: Judgment of Right from Wrong
• Make a List: 100 Reasons to Be Wealthy
• 100 Great Insights I Got from the Coronavirus
• How to Make Every Relationship You Want Good
• If I Only Knew: How to Learn from the Past

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Home — Essay Samples — Entertainment — Event — Significant Life Event

Significant Life Events: My Experience

• Categories: Event Personal Experience

About this sample

Words: 1074 |

Published: Mar 28, 2019

Words: 1074 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

An extraordinary life event (essay)

Works cited:.

• Gibbons, B. (2014). Romeo and Juliet. Cambridge University Press.
• Holland, P. (2002). Shakespeare Survey: Volume 49, Romeo and Juliet and its Afterlife. Cambridge University Press.
• Lerer, S. (2009). Shakespeare's Letters. Yale University Press.
• Shakespeare, W. (2004). Romeo and Juliet. Oxford University Press.
• Simpson, C. (2010). Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Greenwood Publishing Group.
• Smith, D. W. (1995). Friar Laurence's rashness in Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare Quarterly, 46(2), 174-187.
• Stone, G. R. (1963). Friar Laurence and the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare Quarterly, 14(3), 331-344.
• Wells, S., & Orlin, L. (2014). Shakespeare: An Oxford Guide. Oxford University Press.
• Wilson, K. (2002). The Cambridge Companion to Shakespeare on Film. Cambridge University Press.
• Zender, K. (2015). Interpretive choices and consequences in productions of Romeo and Juliet. The Routledge Companion to Shakespeare and Philosophy, 249-260.

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