a essay of a family reunion

An Ode to the Family Reunion

These days, it’s all too easy to swap facetime for face time—but maintaining genuine connections with loved ones remains important. here, one writer makes the case for getting the whole family together once a year..

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Since the early 1980s, the Healys have organized a family reunion every year without fail.

Courtesy of Annie Daly; design by Emily Blevins

Every single year without fail, my extended family on my mom’s side gets together for a family reunion during the first weekend of August. There are about 40 of us total, give or take, spanning four generations, and when I let people in on this fact, they are often blown away. “Every year?” they’ll ask, incredulous, their eyes widening. “Really? That many people, every year?”

Yes, really.

Perhaps due to our increasingly busy, on-the-move culture, I’ve found that more and more people are amazed to learn about our annual gathering of extended family; they almost always want to know what it’s actually like. I’m always happy to share—the memories and the traditions that my family have created each year have kept us close and have turned me into a firm believer in the joy of the family reunion.

My 92-year-old grandfather, Otis Healy (whom we all call “Big O”) is our fearless leader, the man behind the magic. A true family guy at heart, he has meticulously planned—and generously paid for—each and every Healy Family Reunion since the tradition began in the early 1980s. The reunions have been a constant for all 34 years of my life, and yet I still don’t take them for granted. I recognize that it’s rare to have a family patriarch who funds a yearly family reunion and to have a family that actually gets along in the first place; I’m deeply grateful to have both.

At a reunion in Kona, the girl cousins—including Daly, front row, third from the left—gained resort renown thanks to a smoothie recipe they concocted.

Photo courtesy Annie Daly; design by Emily Blevins

Our reunions usually take place at a resort or hotel in Southern California, where my mom and her three siblings grew up. While the majority of the family still lives in the area, some members of the crew travel in from New York, Boston, Rhode Island, Dallas, and Virginia. Back in the late 1980s and early ’90s, when there were 11 cousins under the age of 10, the events would often span almost a full week—and usually the resort staff loved being along for the ride. One year, when we were staying at Kona Village Resort on Hawaii’s Big Island , the girl cousins made up a smoothie and named it after ourselves, using the first letter of each of our names. By the end of the week, we were “resort famous” around the property for creating the popular KJAM (Katie, Jennifer, Annie, and Meg) smoothie. We still talk about our “early rise to fame.” (Unfortunately, Kona was washed away by a tsunami in 2011, but may be reopening as a Rosewood property in 2022.)

As the cousins got older, Big O traded in full weeks for one doable weekend, since 100 percent attendance is always the goal. As some of us neared high school age, the festivities got a little more animated, culminating in an infamous cruise to Tijuana. Oh, the cruise! That year, the “Cousin Class of 1985” all turned 18—the legal drinking age in Mexico. We were all a little too enthusiastic about finally being able to drink in front of our parents, and I ended up getting sick . . . on Big O’s feet. Literally on his feet. It’s a running joke in our family to this day.

The laughter continued over the years in other fun and beautiful spots, including Temecula Creek Inn , where we went on a hot air balloon ride over wine country at 5 a.m.; Paradise Point in San Diego, where my newly raw-vegan cousin Kevin introduced us all to the wonders of eating fresh hibiscus straight off the tree; and Lake Arrowhead Resort and Spa , where I leaned into the reputation I earned in Tijuana and brought a wine rack as a joke—and even wore it over my dress at our family beach barbecue.

That’s the thing about my family: We all have a silly sense of humor, one that comes out in full force during the reunions. And our opportunities for goofiness increased in 2011 when Big O married his third wife (sadly, he lost both my grandmother Betty and his second wife Barbara to cancer), a wonderful woman named Joann, whom everyone calls “Bombie.” Big O and Bombie decided to combine family forces, bringing the reunion roster up from 23 or so to around 40.

In the past few years, the new, much larger crew has started working together as one big team to choose a secret theme for each reunion to surprise Big O and Bombie. During the 2016 election year, for example, the theme was “Big O for President!” We made election pins; dressed up in red, white, and blue hats for the family photo (there’s always a family photo); and carried a huge banner that read “Big O for President” through The Ranch at Laguna Beach , where we were staying. When he turned 90, the theme was “Absolut Otis—90 Proof,” a tribute to his love of a double vodka on the rocks, which he drinks every day at 5 p.m. on the nose. Once again, we gave the theme the banner treatment, and we also made bottles of “Absolut Otis” vodka as souvenirs.

But no matter what the theme is, certain elements of the reunion never change. Every day we gather at 5 p.m. in the “hospitality suite”—Big O and Bombie’s room. Big O stocks the room with varied snacks from Costco, which always include at least one enormous tub of salted mixed nuts. He’ll also often ask people to give speeches if they did something especially noteworthy in the preceding 12 months. Last year, four of the cousins (myself included) had either just gotten married or were about to do so, and he asked us what we learned about wedding planning and marriage itself. While we had all had slightly different experiences, we agreed that it’s the marriage, not the wedding, that matters. And you have to have a sense of humor to make a marriage work.

In 2011, Big O married Bombie and the family reunion attendees almost doubled, making for even more merriment.

Photo by Tom Daly Photography; design by Emily Blevins

Photo by Tom Daly Photography; design by Emily Blevins In 2011, Big O married Bombie and the family reunion attendees almost doubled, making for even more merriment.

In the end, that’s why our family reunions work, too; we genuinely crack each other up. And we also get down. We usually enlist a resort DJ for the big party on Saturday night, and Uncle Mike busts out the worm. One year, after that ridiculous song “ Red Solo Cup ” came out, we spent hours making red Solo cup gear to surprise Big O and Bombie on the big night. Some of the best times of my life have been out there on that dance floor, laughing my face off with my family, and that’s exactly why Big O keeps planning these reunions year after year after year. “The reunions solidify the word ‘family’ to me,” he told me. “I get such great joy out of seeing everybody together and interacting with one another. . . . It’s as simple as that.”

Sadly, in our busy, all-digital-everything, increasingly disconnected world, that simplicity can be hard to find. And a genuine connection with family—related or chosen, however you define it—is more important than ever. So as a self-appointed Reunion Whisperer, I can assure you that no matter how many miles you have to fly, or days you have to take off from work, or reply-all email chains you have to stay on top of to make your get-togethers happen, it’s worth it. Reunions can take place anywhere, whether that’s your cousin’s grassy backyard or an Airbnb in the middle of nowhere. The point is that they take place—with all of their laughter and their love and maybe even their red Solo cups.

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The Importance of Reunions: High School, Family, and Friends

What can be gained by attending them..

Posted April 13, 2018 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

• Ben is a 43-year-old man who just received an announcement for his 25-year high school reunion. It’s been years since he saw his old classmates and he has mixed feelings about attending.
• Jennie and Pat grew up on the East Coast but moved to Oregon to attend college where they met and married upon graduation. Although they keep in touch with their immediate families, they have not kept up with other relatives. A distant cousin sent them an invitation to attend an extended family reunion weekend in Massachusetts. It sounds interesting, but it may be too difficult to take their four children there.
• Monica, Cynthia, and Candy were best friends growing up. Despite going to different colleges and settling in different states, they have kept up with one another through phone calls, emails, cards, and photos. It’s been a long time since they’ve seen one another in person because all three are married, have children, and are working. They talk about having a reunion, but nothing has happened yet.

All three stories reflect problematic issues related to reunions:

• Ambivalence about attending a reunion
• Difficulties in attending a reunion
• Lack of commitment to organize or implement a reunion

Attending reunions can present psychological, financial, and logistical problems. That is clearly not the intent of reunions; yet, these issues often exist. Why?

High school reunions tend to bring up old memories, some of which may be unpleasant—like seeing the “mean girls” who used to make fun of you or the girl who turned you down when you asked her to the prom.

People may also be reluctant to go to their high school reunion because of feeling embarrassed about their physical appearance or insecurity about their lack of achievements since graduation. The idea that individuals will be compared now to their adolescent self or their grown classmates may carry the risk for regretting how their life turned out.

On the other hand, high school reunions can be eye-opening. We usually develop wisdom and maturity as we age. Encountering our former classmates and recalling old memories, good and bad, may help us gain better insight into who we are now and how we got here.

High school reunions can also be fun. It can be a time to go down “ memory lane.” That is, to reminiscence about people we knew as well as our mutual history in such things as music and historical events. In fact, renewing old friendships and reliving the fun and feelings we had in high school are two of the most common reasons people attend their high school reunions (Lamb & Reeder, 1986).

Family reunions are another type of reunion that can be psychologically and educationally fulfilling:

• They bring together relatives who have never met (e.g., new members of the family, newborns) and demonstrate the extensiveness of one’s sphere of relatives.
• They encourage communication among extended family members after the reunion period.
• They provide educational opportunities for the various generations to learn about the members of their clan and pass on historical information.
• They celebrate the meaning of family by sharing memories and family rituals as well as encouraging a sense of belonging to something greater than your nuclear family.

A third type of reunion is one where long-time friends physically get together and reconnect. Although we live in a multi-mode communication (e.g., emails, Facetime, telephone calls, social media , texts) era, there is no substitute for the physical presence and an extended period to spend together. The opportunity to engage in conversations that are not time-restricted encourage deeper communication. Even mundane activities, like going for a walk or taking a long drive, can stimulate the friends to reminisce or discuss their feelings and thoughts beyond a superficial level.

Reunions with old friends inevitably bring up people and issues of our past. Such friends may recall memories of us, our family members, and other people we knew, as well as events that happened to us. A reunion with friends is different than high school or family reunions. This reunion involves friends who have known us for a long time and have seen us through an entirely different lens than that used by our former classmates or relatives. The perspective of long-time friends can be very enlightening. It may not only reveal information about us and how we have changed, but also similar information about our friends. Discussing and knowing this can lead to greater intimacy and respect for one another.

Reunions of any kind are not always easy to arrange because of the cost and managing the details. In order to increase attendance:

• Keep costs low to accommodate most people’s budget.
• Encourage people to submit ideas and preferences for activities.
• Look for convenient places and times when as many people as possible can attend.
• Devote most of the time to activities that promote connection among the attendees; especially, those that focus on sharing old and making new memories.
• Attend with the plan to not re-hash unpleasant events or topics.
• Seek out people you like and care about.

Generally, reunions can be highly valuable to our well-being. For those who want to learn more about themselves and make stronger connections with others, reunions can be a powerful vehicle for accomplishing this.

Kluin, J. Y., & Lehto, X. Y. (2012). Measuring family reunion travel motivations. Annals of Tourism Research, 39, 820-841. doi:10.1016/j.annals.2011.09.008.

Lamb, D. H., & Reeder, G. D. (1986, June). Reliving golden days. Psychology Today, 22-26, 30.

McCutcheon, L. E., Pope, T. J., Grant, R., & Simplis, K. (2016). Does savoring predict attendance at high school reunions and the tendency to admire celebrities? North American Journal of Psychology, 18, 295-306.

Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D. , are psychology professors at the Keck School of Medicine at USC.

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Family Reunions Are Back! 6 Steps for Making Events Memorable

Early planning and research can make this your best gathering yet.

​​A family reunion is a way to connect, keep ties strong, share insights about family history and just plain enjoy the company of relatives who live near and far.​​

Many families are anxious to get back to holding reunions, both large and small, after postponing them because of the  pandemic . But reunions can be more than  a big party  or a celebration, says Suzanne Vargus Holloman, co-director of the Family Reunion Institute. These family gatherings can encourage attendees to delve into genealogy, address family health issues and foster social supports such as youth mentoring.​

“One of our mottoes is that family reunions are more than a picnic,” Holloman says. “These reunions were organized to pass down history and impart values — to support the family and extended family in the various ways that were needed. But they have grown into major events.”​ ​

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“When are we going to have the reunion?” ​

​Eighty-year-old Rev. Doug Harris says family reunions have been a constant for much of his life. But it wasn’t that way from the start. In fact, he was too busy  falling in love  to attend his family’s first reunion.​

“It was the week I met my wife, and I declined,” says Harris, who lives in Swedesboro, New Jersey, and is a former marketing and communications executive. He may have skipped that family reunion in 1973, but he and his wife, Myrna, have been to dozens of them since. Most were for his father’s family and reunited branches of his African American family from southern Virginia and New Jersey. The most recent took place in August 2021 in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and because of COVID-19, it drew only about 50 people — down from a pre-pandemic range of 80 to 100.​

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“It came about because there was a demand,” says Harris, who helped plan last summer’s event. “People kept calling and saying, ‘When are we going to have the reunion?’ ” he recalls. “Finally, in spite of our  concerns about COVID , we went ahead and planned one.”​

Reunions can be major events drawing hundreds of attendees, making them a prime market for the hospitality industry. For example, before the pandemic, people attending reunions in Detroit occupied more than 15,000 room nights annually and generated more than $16 million in direct visitor spending, based on numbers from the Detroit Metro Convention and Visitors Bureau. That kind of market means visitors and convention bureaus, hotels, restaurants, cruise lines and other attractions are eager to court families, including by offering information sessions and discounts.​ ​

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• Reunions are back!
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• More on family and connecting

Whether you’re planning for 30 or 300, a family reunion requires organization and creativity.​​ Harris’ family has both northern and southern reunion planning committees, since events shift between Virginia and New Jersey and places in between, like the Poconos in Pennsylvania. Harris reunions are usually held every other year and might include a banquet, dancing, a talent show, family updates and news, local tours and church services.​

But for many, event planning doesn’t come naturally. 

“Organizing a reunion takes some learning,” says Edith Wagner, editor of Reunion magazine . Wagner founded the magazine more than 30 years ago in hopes of helping adoptees like herself reunite with their birth families. Today the magazine has expanded to include resources, advice and listings for family, school and military reunions.​ ​

Wagner’s suggestion is to start slowly — don’t try to plan too many activities the first year. “There will be people who will start out and want to do everything, everything in the first reunion,” she says. “And you can’t do that, because you need to build up to a point of people understanding what you’re doing.”​ ​

Experts add that it’s important to include all age groups in reunion planning, particularly young people. They are, after all, the future of the family — and reunions. Harris says the young adults in his family haven’t quite taken up the planning mantle, but they do value keeping in touch with each other, with the help of technology. They have a texting group on GroupMe, for example, he says.​ ​

“They do a lot of checking in on each other,” Harris says. “And sometimes the conversations go on for hours and even days going back and forth.”​

Thinking of organizing a family reunion? Here are some tips to get you started.​ ​

1. Start early

It’s never too soon to start planning, even if it’s just for a backyard barbecue, experts say. If you’re planning a big gathering at a hotel or other venue, they suggest starting as much as two years in advance. A time line can help you keep organized and assign tasks — and avoid surprises.​

2. Make the reunion committee inclusive

A range of ages and incomes will help ensure there are activities that everyone can enjoy and afford, experts say. “You want to have people who represent the youngsters, your families with children, and then our seniors,” says Harris. “People feel it when they are left out.” Also, including younger generations in the planning will prepare them to take over in the future.​

3. Consult the experts

The Family Reunion Institute hosts free virtual workshops on how to organize a reunion. Convention and visitors bureaus and chambers of commerce also sponsor family reunion workshops that showcase hotels, restaurants and attractions and offer tips on organization. Jeffrey Mills, a recently retired marketing expert based near Atlanta, wrote a manual for the hospitality industry on how to attract the reunion market and has also taught at showcases. He focuses on practical tips, including making a reunion attendee spreadsheet that tracks names, addresses and relationships. You can use the information to create a family tree and raise reunion funds by charging a few dollars for copies.​

4. Use technology

Email, social media and texting apps like Facebook Groups and GroupMe can help people stay in touch between reunions and build excitement about upcoming events. Payment apps like PayPal or Venmo make it easier to handle the money, including allowing people to pay over time. Use Zoom or similar apps to keep in touch, to include people who can’t attend in person, and to host events like family cooking lessons.​

5. Seek opportunities to exchange information

The Family Reunion Institute encourages families to share health information. “Oftentimes there are certain medical conditions that run through families, and families can organize to support each other to help prevent possible health conditions,” says Holloman, whose nonprofit promotes research on family reunions and helps families, particularly those of African American descent, organize them.​ The institute was founded by Holloman’s mother, Ione Vargus, professor emerita at Temple University.

6. Celebrate family history

Lisa Louise Cooke of Genealogy Gems, a podcaster, YouTuber and author, has many tips on how to make history fun at reunions, such as a hopscotch game that requires answering a family trivia question. She also has ideas for genealogy-based souvenirs. One family used a treasured blanket design to create a wrapper for souvenir candy bars. Another gathered and distributed favorite family recipes. “To me, a family reunion isn’t really a family reunion without genealogy,” she says. “The one thing that binds everyone together is that they share ancestors.”​

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Wedding invitations, everything you need to know about family reunions.

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Every family has a different set of traditions and expectations for family reunions. Some treat reunions as their opportunity to go on a vacation with their loved ones. Others look forward to seeing their whole family for the same Holiday plans, year after year. Whatever your family traditions are, if it’s up to you to plan your family reunion this year, you may be looking for a little extra guidance. If so, we’re here to help.

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What is a family reunion, why should you have a family reunion, how to plan a family reunion, how to start a family reunion letter, tips for hosting a family reunion, where to have a family reunion, what to do at a family reunion, what to wear to a family reunion, how to keep in touch after the family reunion.

A family reunion is a meeting, which can occur annually on the same date or by availability, of immediate and/or extended family members. Family reunions can serve as a way for a family to reconnect and strengthen bonds while providing an opportunity for a vacation. There is no minimum party size, frequency, or duration for a family reunion and the reunions may even include a few close friends outside of the family bloodline.

Common family reunion activities and plans include outdoor excursions, shared meals, party games , and passing down family history and stories.

Family reunions have several important benefits. Most importantly, these reunions improve familial bonds. These bonds need constant work and effort to remain strong through the years, and reunions are a great way to do this. Without constant contact and time spent together, family bonds can weaken and leave you feeling isolated. Other benefits for attending reunions include giving you time to relax and catch up on significant events in family’s lives. They also give young family members a chance to learn family history and older family members the chance to see everyone together.

Ready to start planning your next family reunion? Simply follow the steps below to get started, and make your reunion one to remember.

• Plan head. You’ll want to give yourself at least a year to plan, especially for larger family events. Planning far ahead gives your whole family enough notice to take time from work, plan transportation, and decide on a date that works for the most people.
• Set a budget ahead of time. Decide on a budget each family will contribute well ahead of time. You don’t want to surprise any family member with the burden of a bill that they can’t pay at the end of the reunion.
• Give family options for date and location. When you have a budget and time frame established, send out a poll to each family member asking for availability across certain dates and desired locations.
• Send out invitations early. Send out informal notices as early as possible, and formal invitations at least six weeks in advance. Read our resource on when to send party invitations for additional help.
• Delegate some responsibilities to other family members. Ask for volunteers to help you with the planning of the reunion, or else you’ll quickly feel overwhelmed. Planning committees may include budget, reservations, food coordination , travel and lodging, entertainment, and a communications liaison.
• Start off the reunion on the right foot. Plan a welcome receptions for the beginning of the reunion. This might include food and drinks, a few games, and a welcome speech from a senior member of the family.

Looking for guidance to help you write your family reunion letter? Look to the guidelines and sample below to make sure you don’t end up leaving any details out.

What to Include:

• Announce reunion. Include the family name(s) and the number of years it’s been put on.
• Give Location.
• Provide Date.
• Give Lodging and Travel Information.
• Include Additional Information. Make sure everyone knows what’s expected on them in terms of budgeting, dress code, and timing. If you’re also creating family reunion T-shirts, make sure to include this info here as well.
• Ask for help. Do you need committee volunteers or family heirlooms? Let them know here.
• Include additional sentiments. Feel free to share a few past memories and/or reasons why it’s so important for everyone to attend. You can also share a meaningful family quote or two.
• End with closing statement and contact information.

Sample Reunion Letter:

Dear (Name),

Get ready for some fun in the sun! It’s time for the 14th Annual Janson Family Reunion!

Based on our previous family survey, this year we are planning to host the family at Green Lakeside Campgrounds, CA during the weekend of August 12th-14th. We’ve reserved campground C, which hosts space for tents and camper vans.

Directions to the campground are attached, as well as a sign up sheet for extra space available RV’s and tents.

As we prepare for a family-filled weekend, we are asking for donations of $50 to help supply food and other necessities for the whole family. Please send any donations to the contact information below.

Additionally, we’re still looking for volunteers to help with lodging and entertainment.

We can’t wait to see you all there! We’re hoping for a super fun weekend without any mishaps (so we’ll be keeping Uncle Stan away from the cooking!) and can’t wait to get started!

(Your Name)

123-456-7890

[email protected]

From organization to execution, you’ll want to make sure you’re keeping the following tips in mind while planning your family reunion.

• Make your own T-shirts. Making themed T-shirts ahead of time not only provides everyone with a special keepsake and souvenir, but they also give you some fun family photos.
• Plan for off-peak travel season. This helps keep costs down and making finding open hotels and flights easier.
• Raise extra funds beforehand. Small fundraisers organized by them family can increase your budget while giving you a few fun bonding opportunities.
• Look for group rates for hotels and travel. Many flights, hotels, restaurants, and more offer group discounts if you ask them directly.
• Offer a range of activities. Make sure there’s something to do for all skill levels. Refer to our guide on family activities for additional guidance.

There’s no end to the possibilities of where to host your family reunion. You may want to go back to the same place you’ve always hosted it, or you may be looking for a fun new adventure. Here’s a list of some of the most popular destination choices:

• Your house or a family member’s house
• Summer home
• Hotel or resort
• Rented cabin
• Community center
• Favorite restaurant

When you’re ready to start building your family reunion itinerary, keep a few of these common traditions in mind:

• Play some games. Games help involve the whole family and set a cheerful and playful mood. For specific game ideas, read our resource on fun family games.
• Plan a large potluck. Ask each family member to bring their favorite dish, or a dish that has significance to the family history.
• Make a family reunion photo book. Ask for family members to provide old photos and take new ones during the reunion. Then craft a family reunion photo book using these family photo album ideas .
• Go for a hike. Exercise is a great way to bond and stay healthy as a family!
• Host a BBQ party.  BBQ’s are a family reunion classic for a reason. Check out our BBQ party ideas for more inspiration.
• Take a family photo . Schedule a professional photography session during the reunion for a reunion photo the whole family can look back on.
• Go on a family trip . Take a day trip somewhere special. Read our family trip ideas for help picking the right trip.
• Do some arts and crafts. Arts and crafts are as kid friendly as they are fun for the creative members of the family. Check out our art projects for kids for some ideas.
• Family Traditions
• Thanksgiving Traditions
• Family Christmas Traditions

The best clothes to wear to a family reunion most often depends on the environment and weather. If your reunion is in a cabin in the woods, you may want to plan for warm clothes that cover arms and legs from bugs. Whereas lighter clothing would be more appropriate for a family beach vacation. You also want to dress in a way that’s respectful and appropriate in front of older family members. And if you’re planning your wardrobe for family reunion photos, visit our guide on what to wear for family photos .

Once the family reunion is over and everyone has said their goodbyes, you’ll want a plan to keep in touch. Nowadays social media has made this a lot easier. However, it’s also a good idea to keep a constant email list and updated list of addresses (which is great for sending family reunion gifts ) for regular correspondence.

Resources Related to Family Reunions

If you liked this guide on everything you need to know about family gatherings and you’re looking for additional content, make sure to visit the resources:

• Family Inspiration
• Holiday Inspiration

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How to Plan a Family Reunion: A Checklist, Guide + Tips from Experts

Budget Minded , Family , Family Reunion , Friends , Professional

Last Updated: January 29, 2024 alanareunacy -->

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So you’re the chosen family member who gets to organize and plan the upcoming family reunion! If that’s you, Reunacy has done the major leg work and created an in-depth planning guide and a family reunion planning checklist to alleviate your duties. 

We spoke with dozens of family reunion planners, event planning experts, and production coordinators to create the ultimate guide to planning a family reunion. With guidance from experts, you’ll have a comprehensive and detailed understanding of what you need to do to plan and execute a successful family reunion. We’ve also included a downloadable checklist that you can print out and fill in as you check off each detail!

Phase One: How to Start Planning Your Family Reunion

Phase one occurs 8-12 months before the Reunion

Identify Your “Why”

A family gathering is more than just an event, it is the reunion of people who love each other and want the best for each other over a lifetime together. 

Family reunions can have different purposes. Maybe your family is a bit estranged and all lives far away from each other. In that case, a family reunion can help strengthen new bonds for the future.  Maybe your family gets together often and just loves to be together! 

What motivates you to plan your family reunion?

As a family reunion planner, it’s helpful for you to know your “why.” Whatever your reason is, you can turn back to that motivation in moments where the details of planning can feel overwhelming.

“Events of any type can be stressful, but especially when you’re planning for people you love and care about. Throughout the family reunion planning process, remind yourself that you’re planning for an entire family; one full of personalities and opinions. Keep focused on the goals, plan from a place of love, not obligation. Keep fun and feeling and memories at the forefront of everything you do throughout the planning process.” – Saundra Severtson , Event Planner and Founder of wyldmynd.

As you plan your family reunion, always remember your why. Remember that the whole point is to expand the love and joy within your family! It’s okay if every detail isn’t perfect, the purpose is to gather, connect, and get together.

Consulting the Family For Your Family Reunion

Now that you know you and your family want to get together, it is important to iron out a few details and communicate with your family. This is the information gathering phase.

At this early phase, making a few phone calls or sending a large family email or text message can help you discover the appetite across the board for a reunion.

You can also discover how much people in your family are able to spend to attend the reunion, as well as what time of year would be ideal for them to get together.

Info Gathering for Your Family Reunion

As you start initial communications within your family, ask a few key questions to gather information that will inform your planning.

“As you start planning a family reunion, ask each family – where are you coming from? What kind of budget would you be comfortable with per person? How many people from your family will be attending? That’s the best place to start.” – Michelle Maiello , Moonwood Marketing and Events

Once you gather information, it’s time to think about how to get more organized. If you can enlist a few volunteers within the family to help you with the planning process, you can split up the tasks and delegate throughout the process based on each person’s skills.

The Essential Early Details

As you start the family reunion planning process, there are a few key details you will need to focus on first. As you start brainstorming, keep an open mind. 

“ One of my mantras is: get curious; then get to work! Every seasoned events planner knows that the details are crucial, which is why we ask so many questions.” -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

Be clear when asking your family for information, yet be flexible enough in this early stage so you can make any needed adjustments.

Choosing a Date for your Family Reunion

One of the first and most important decisions is to lock in a date that works for the entire family. Much like planning a wedding, you might be targeting a certain time of year — like the spring or summer. 

If you pick a date for the family reunion early, that gives you more time to plan.

“When it comes to planning an event, six – nine months in advance is the sweet spot for nailing down what you’re dreaming up. When you’re in a time crunch for planning, it may not allow the correct window to customize things for your event. During the planning process, details will change, new ideas may come to fruition, and when there is extra time in the process it is easy to make those accommodations and adjustments.” – Sarah McClure, Marketing Director, LUX Events

Lock in the Date for the Reunion

The most popular time of year to hold a family reunion is the late spring, summer, through early fall. Summertime is popular for family reunions because parents with children and teenagers can more easily plan a vacation around the family reunion since school is off!

Try picking two weekends within the summer and ask your family members which weekend works better for everyone.

Another reason to choose a date early in the process is to respect the travel budget of your family members. The earlier your family can reserve plane tickets or hotel reservations around the family reunion date, they can lock in lower travel prices and save money.

Some in the family may even decide to turn the family reunion into a road trip, or a vacation!

Your Family Reunion Budget

Besides the date, the budget is one of the most important elements of the family reunion planning process. The amount of funds in the budget will determine what kind of location you can secure, as well as the type of food and entertainment.

On average, family reunions can cost $25 – 75 a person, per day. Depending on the location you choose, the vendor costs, or the season, expenses will vary. It’s important to have a budget discussion early on in the process as some initial funds may be needed to reserve locations.

“When planning a family reunion, start by knowing the overall budget and the flexibility of all the family members in terms of travel. If people are coming from out of state and they are flying in and need accommodations, that’s a big part of the picture. Once you know what people are able to do in terms of travel costs, that can help you determine if you have the funds to rent a large venue for the reunion, or rent an AirBnb and have the family all stay in one place. If everyone already lives in the state or is within driving distance, then you’re able to spend the budget funds on things like catering, a private chef, or entertainment.” -Michelle Maiello, Moonwood Marketing

Keep in mind, another way to lower the travel expenses for your family is to reserve a block of hotel rooms for the family.

Consider Location Options For your Family Reunion

After you’ve had some initial budget discussions, consider the type of location you want for your family reunion.

Locations and venue rentals are typically the highest expense of an event. The more time you have to prepare, the more options you can consider for locations. 

“Starting as early as possible is key to giving yourself time to find your ideal venue and negotiate the contract. Making decisions on the larger spends early will allow the planner to spend wisely on the little details along the way. Larger spends include venue, catering, transportation & housing (if needed). Negotiate those contracts early!”  -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

Many locations require early reservations. If you wait until the last minute or until 3 months before, it will be difficult to secure your ideal spot.

When you are brainstorming locations and venues for your family reunion, be open minded. Sometimes you need to visit a place in person to really understand if it can be the perfect fit for your family.

Family reunions can be held at a variety of locations, such as:

• Local Church
• Favorite restaurant
• An outdoor park with a Bar-b-Q
• Country club
• An outdoor garden
• Family home backyard
• Pizza joint
• A brewery or winery

“Family vibe and personality should be a consideration when looking for locations, but not the main consideration. I would absolutely look at a variety of ideas – even ones that seem outlandish or too expensive. Have FUN in the planning process. Get creative!” -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

Another thing to keep in mind about location is parking and transportation. Does the venue have a large parking lot?

Date, budget, location – these are the initial details that are essential to the early planning phases of organizing a family reunion.

Once you have gotten started with these key details, you can start the creative process of envisioning the reunion!

Phase Two: 3 – 8 months before the Family Reunion

Now that you’ve decided on a date and started the planning process, here are the next steps.

Staying Organized is Key to Planning a Family Reunion

While it may seem like annoying advice, staying organized can make or break the planning process. Before we get into all the details you need to arrange for the reunion, here are a few ways to stay organized.

Create a “Hero” Family Reunion Planning Document

This step is VERY important.

To keep all the reunion details organized, create a virtual document or spreadsheet to house all the planning information. This document or spreadsheet is where you will list your vendors’ contact info, the plans for the food, the schedule, etc. 

Google spreadsheets are very easy to use, and you can even use a pre-made Google Wedding template … and change the name “wedding” to Family reunion!

As you narrow down vendors and event details, update the document or spreadsheet so the planning committee can all be in the loop.

How Clear Communication Can Shape a Successful Family Reunion

“A gathering starts long before guests walk through the front door” -Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering

Planning a family reunion (especially for more than 50 people) requires clear communication between the main family reunion planner and the family/attendees. 

“My perspective is that the leader should communicate from a ‘coach’ perspective. We’re all on the same team, we each bring unique skills and perspectives, let’s work toward combining those to achieve our goals.” -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

As you communicate with the family, having a positive, team-focused attitude can go a long way. 

How to Communicate with the Family During the Planning Process

Part of the planning process is communicating with the attendees for information updates. Starting with a family email chain or text group can be a good method. 

“Setting the tone and communicating effectively helps the team progress toward a successful event. Effective communication allows an opportunity for guests/invitees to learn more about what to expect – and to get excited about attending the event.” -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

Once you start planning more officially and wish to track RSVPs, you might want to choose a more dynamic platform. Reunacy provides a seamless and private platform for your family to create groups and stay in touch. 

Unlike Facebook groups, Reunancy keeps your family’s information completely private and there are no advertisements. Family members can RSVP through the platform, and you can easily track how many people are planning to attend.

Brainstorming a Vision for Your  Family Reunion

Create a unique vision for the event to set the tone of the reunion. 

“Make your family reunion YOU! You want your family reunion to resemble the parties in attendance and be a fun and enjoyable experience for all!” 

There are so many ways you can personalize the family reunion to your family’s personality. 

You can pick a unique theme, family colors, or even a cultural theme unique to your family heritage.

Consider Family History For the Reunion Theme

For example, if your family is Italian and loves Italian food, you can easily create a theme around the various types of Italian dishes. You could also include special recipes from grandparents! 

Focusing on family heritage will create a heartwarming tone that encourages your family members to honor and connect with family history.

“I envision the tone and feel of an event months before by delving into the core objectives and desired atmosphere. This involves creating a vision and understanding the overarching message of the event, allowing for a more intentional and purposeful gathering. Every aspect, from the initial anticipation to the moment guests walk through the door, contributes to an impactful event.”- Brendan Sweeney, Producer

Whatever makes your family unique, delve into those unique traits and trust your instincts! 

Solidify the Family Reunion Details

By now, you and your committee should have a short list of potential family reunion locations. Visit the locations and see which location is available for your date. 

Lock in the Location for Your Family Reunion 

“Budget is so important here. And I’d add that family vibe/personality should be a consideration, but not *the* consideration. I would absolutely look at a variety of ideas – even ones that seem outlandish or too expensive. Have FUN in the planning process. Get creative!” -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

Lock in the location at least 6 months before the reunion date if possible. As mentioned before, the contract negotiation may take a few weeks. 

By this point in the planning, you will want to have a rough estimate of how many people will attend, even if you don’t have all the RSVPs returned yet.

Communications – When do we send the family reunion invitations? 

Again, you will want a clear way to communicate with your committee and your guests. As soon as you have locked in the location, send the invitations to your guests.

Invitations should be sent at least 3-5 months before the family reunion. 

You will need to have all confirmed RSVPs no later than 5 weeks before the event.

With Reunacy, you can actively manage all your family reunion RSVPs within your Reunacy group.

Choose Your Vendors

Food and Catering: Dial in your food and catering choices

One of the most important elements of the family reunion is deciding on food that will fit within your budget that your family will enjoy.

The location you choose might have a kitchen with an in-house chef, which would make the catering a bit easier. 

If you are planning to hire an outside catering service, look at a few vendors in your area and check the Yelp and Google ratings. Check your budget to make sure their pricing works within your range.

If you and your family are planning to do your own cooking, delegate menu creation and shopping lists within your family reunion planning committee. 

Confirm Equipment Rental

Are you renting any chairs, tables, tableware, cups, napkins, or outdoor tents? 

As you envision your family reunion, decide if you want to buy these items yourself or rent them from a party planning service.

Contact a local party vendor and make sure to ask if they can also include delivery and pick up service. 

Tables, chairs, and tents are the most essential items to rent, as families usually don’t have 50 extra chairs lying around!

Photography

Photos really do last a lifetime! With all the planning and effort that goes into a family reunion, those photos will be priceless for you and your family to enjoy after the reunion.

“If budget allows, I’d strongly recommend a photographer or photo booth or an area with selfie sticks for folks to use. If you can afford a photographer, that’s always my preferred method of commemorating an event. They capture those candid, unstaged moments that can spark so much joy. Check with a local arts school or community college to see if a student would be interested in snapping your event. They’ll appreciate the experience and money – and you’ll get a semi-pro for less money. Win-win!”  -Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

If the budget does not allow for a photographer, consider assigning a few family members with photography and creative skills to focus on the photography for the event. 

Capturing the memories through photography is an essential part of the planning process that you do not want to miss!

Entertainment

If you want to make the reunion a little extra special and fun, consider additional entertainment like group activities or hiring live musicians.

“ One important thing to keep in mind is that because this event spans generations, a variety of activities should be a focus. That said, you will never please everyone (!!), so consider the larger group rather than one age group or specific group within the family. At the end of the day, everyone is gathering to enjoy each other, catch up, reminisce…everything else is gravy. :)” – Saundra Severtson, wyldmynd.

Here are some additional ideas to consider for your entertainment:

• Live Music – Are there musicians in the family? Consider renting a stage or sound system for a family performance.
• Trivia or group games. 
• Outdoor Events (Sports, water slides)
• Professional entertainers 
• Hired musicians and bands
• Family talent Show

Start Planning the Family Reunion Schedule

Back to your “Master Planning” document. As you make decisions with vendors, food, and entertainment, make sure to update your document. 

You will create a “Schedule” section for the week of the reunion. This section is important to plan early in the process, as it can be overwhelming to organize the week of. 

Schedule out 1-2 weeks ahead of the reunion, as well a detailed hourly schedule the day before the reunion, the reunion itself, and the clean up day.  When you’re planning the prep day, which would be the day before the reunion, be as detailed as you can! Include the names of people in your family if you can delegate duties like cooking, shopping, decorating, or managing vendor deliveries.

A sample prep day schedule would look like this:

10:00 AM – Table and Chair Delivery at Family Ranch

12:00 AM – Monica brings table cloths and decorations; Johnson side of family decorates

2:00 PM – Gary goes to Costco to buy appetizers, lasagna ingredients, plates, and forks

3:30 PM – Deliver the food to the Family Ranch

4:00 PM – Stephanie and kids build photo family tree after driving in from Michigan

5:30 PM – Light appetizers and drinks set up for family

6:30 PM – Pre-family reunion appetizers and cocktails at the Family Ranch

If you don’t have enough people to help you in person, consider hiring an assistant to help during the reunion. Sometimes the locations will provide an event planner or operations manager as part of your rental package. Make sure to stay in close communication with them!

Re-visit Budget and Delegate Responsibilities

As you go through the planning process, you will need to update the budget to reflect new vendor expenses.

Celebrating Your Family with Family Reunion Decorations

As you plan the reunion, ask your family members to bring photos for a large family collage!

“I’d recommend asking folks in your family to send photos and make a big collage of the family throughout the years. It’s a lovely way to honor those who came before us, and it’s fun to see which cousins look like great grandma Dorothy and great uncle Mel!”- Saundra Severtson

Keepsake /T Shirts

One popular way that many families preserve the memory of family reunions is through a family reunion t-shirt!

Check out our article called “ The Ultimate Guide To Fun Family Reunion Shirt Ideas ” for a guide on how to plan and create family reunion t-shirts.

Phase Three: It’s Time for the Reunion!

2 -3 weeks before the reunion up to the reunion day!

It’s go time! It’s the week of the reunion. 

The details and communication process matter the most in the moments leading up to the event. 

Once the reunion starts, try to have everything managed so you can enjoy the fruits of your labor and have an amazing time with your family!

It’s Time to Re-confirm the Details

Double check your detailed event schedule.

This is when you return back to your “Master” / “Hero” planning document. Double-check your schedule and make sure all updates and changes are entered into it.

Here are the most important details you need to re-confirm the week of the reunion:

• Food shopping and prep: Will Aunt Pamela be delivering and cooking the food? Will your catering company take care of the main meal? Will you still need to shop for and prepare appetizers or drinks?
• When can you decorate the venue? Who can help you decorate? 
• Vendor deliveries: When will tables and chairs be delivered? Is there anyone who can help set these up?
• Parking at location: Where will guests park? Are there enough spaces at the location?
• Will there be transportation provided from the hotel to the venue?
• Make sure to pay your vendors on time,
• Communicate with your vendors the week before the reunion for any last minute changes or updates.
• Do you want families to sit wherever they wish, or is it better to organize a seating arrangement?
• How will you communicate the seating arrangements? Will you give guests a table number when they check in?
• Will you arrange a check-in table to provide name tags and family reunion information?
• Plan for any emergencies: Always have a first aid kit and know where the nearest hospital is.
• Schedule for Clean Up

YOU DID IT!!! It’s finally time for the Reunion!

“Remember to ENJOY yourself at the reunion. It’s so important to be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor – especially with family. Finally, if you can, hire a day-of person or enlist a friend to help out so you can have fun. They’re your family too!” – Saundra Severtson , Founder of wyldmynd.

The Reunacy team hopes you enjoy an incredible and special reunion with your family! Please let us know how your reunion goes, and if we can add any other helpful content to this post. Keep gathering together!

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The Historical Legacy of Black Family Reunions

The coming of summer heralds cook-outs, line dancing, and brightly colored t-shirts iconic of Black family reunions. These events serve as important rituals in African American families that are heavily enmeshed in centuries of American slavery. During these times enslaved families were often broken apart as slave owners sold children, siblings and even married off individuals as chattel.  

As waves of emancipation swept through the country, coinciding with the ratification of the Thirteenth Amendment guaranteeing enslaved individuals their freedom, many African Americans sought to reunite with lost family members and to define family roles and responsibilities in ways they believed best suited their new circumstances. Their efforts highlighted the importance of family as foundational to their status as free people. 

Searching for Family

With the end of slavery, searching for family members who had been separated or sold away became the focus of many formerly enslaved individuals. The number of years of separation did not deter people from hoping to reunite with lost loved ones. Newspaper advertisements, letters, and word of mouth all were employed as part of the search. The hope was that a positive response might lead to a reunion with family members.    

Ad in Tennessee Newspaper, 1865

I am very anxious to get my family together or as much so as possibly. Allen Stephens, 1871

However, the transition to a freedman was not an easy one. Enslaved individuals had been stripped of their names, rights, and identity. This created numerous challenges as families, married couples, parents and children attempted to locate one another.  

Names 

Enslaved individuals often had their names selected for them by their enslaver. Freedom provided the opportunity to make a choice: pick a new name or retain their previous one. Many individuals chose to adopt a new name that represented their new status and desire to control how others addressed them. 

The master’s name was usually adopted by a slave after he was set free. This was done more because it was the logical thing to do and the easiest way to be identified than it was through affection for the master. Martin Jackson, 1937

...All us slaves that was going to take the [slaveholder’s] name Fitzpatrick. I made up my mind I’d find me a different one. One of my grandfathers in Africa was called Jeaceo, and so I decided to be Jackson. Martin Jackson, 1937

I’s birthed right here ... on the old Baldwin place ... Me and Anthony Thomas went to Marshall and married ... in 1869 ... Then I come to live with one my sons here and this land ... old Marse Baldwin owned. Lucy Baldwin Thomas, 1937

Formal marriage ceremonies were not encouraged by slaveholders and were a rarity for the enslaved. With freedom, many formerly enslaved men and women participated in official ceremonies to reinforce their commitment to one another or for legal purposes. As husbands and wives, they also renegotiated their roles together as free people. 

Tintype of a Buffalo Soldier and his wife 

Women   

African American women faced a struggle to gain respect for their rights as wives, mothers, and women. Both within and outside their communities, their quest for equal status was questioned. Among other things, they were denied the right to vote, scrutinized if they chose not to work, and subjected to harassment and physical abuse. Defining and defending their place within American society remained a challenge throughout the years after the end of slavery. 

Mrs. A.J. Cooper C.M. Bell (Firm : Washington, D.C.), photographer Created/Published between February 1901 and December 1903

Only the BLACK WOMAN can say ‘when and where I enter, in the quiet, undisputed dignity of my womanhood, without violence and without suing or special patronage, then and there the whole Negro race enters with me.’ Anna Julia Cooper, A Voice from the South, 1892

Born enslaved in North Carolina, Anna Julia Cooper (1858–1964) was a writer, organizer, and advocate for women’s education and civil rights. She received a mathematics degree from Oberlin College in Ohio and a Ph.D. from the University of Paris. In 1892 she published her acclaimed book, A Voice from the South, which expressed her belief that African American women had a central role to play in the struggle for racial equality. 

Children  

Enslaved parents had no legal rights to their children. Their offspring could be taken away or expected to obey the orders of others, despite the preferences of their parents. As free people, African Americans resisted outside efforts to undermine their parental authority or to take their children away through court-ordered apprenticeships to a white person. They wanted to ensure their influence and love were the most important factors in their children’s lives.    

Mothers, once fully assured that the power of slavery was gone, were known to put forth almost superhuman efforts to regain their children. Bvt. Brig. Gen. John Eaton, 1865

Court petition regarding the children of Harriet, a freedwoman The document reads [To the Worshipful the county / court of Marion County / Your petitioner / would respectfully / represent to your worshipful body, that Harriet a freedwoman has three children, one named / Thomas, aged 7 years, another named George / aged about 5 years and the third Philip / about 2 years old which she the [illegible] Harriet / the mother wishes bound to me your petitioner Jeremiah Fuller / Nov. 4th, 1867.] On the verso, in the bottom right corner, in a different hand is the inscription [Dreary] repeated three times.

A white farmer in Tennessee filed the court document above in 1867 stating that a freedwoman named Harriet wanted her three young children bound to him as indentured workers. Courts often accepted the word of white landowners, even when African American parents protested that they had not given consent to indenture their children.

Records of our Roots 

While newly freed endeavored to reunite with their loved ones despite these challenges, in many cases, newspapers and letters weren’t enough to prompt a reunion. Ultimately, the separation of family proved to be so effective a tool of oppression to disempower African Americans, that its legacy persisted long after the abolishment of slavery.   

However, public interest in family reunification was revived in 1976 after the publication of Alex Haley’s book “Roots: The Saga of an American Family.” The book told the story of Kunta Kinte, an 18th-century African, captured as an adolescent, sold into slavery in Africa, and transported to North America, and follows his life and the lives of his descendants in the United States down to Haley, the book’s author. The release of the novel, combined with its hugely popular television adaptation, Roots in 1977, led to a cultural sensation in the United States. 

American actors Cicely Tyson (left) and Maya Angelou (right) look lovingly at a baby in a scene from the television mini series Roots .

The powerful story encouraged many previously splintered African American families to search and document for their own family genealogy. Utilizing a variety of tools such as publicly available archives, slave sale records, family Bibles and blood tests many attempted to trace their ancestral roots to slavery and African villages. However, even with the advantages of modern technology, many today must still grapple with incomplete family histories as a direct result of their ancestors being defined, by law, as little more than property.  

Collection of the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture, Gift of Clara Ellis Payne 

Modern Family Reunions 

The drive to discover and reinforce family connections has continued to guide the African American community through the tradition of family reunions. At these celebratory events, family history is recounted, traditions are taught, and bonds are strengthened through shared memories. Reunions are often held in significant places, where a family has historical roots, or where new generations have moved and thrived. Many include a visit to NMAAHC, where families gather to reinforce their connection to the broader narrative of African American history.   

The Jones-Walker family Reunion Logo

The Jones-Walker Family Reunion at the National Museum of African American History and Culture

Family reunion / Got to have a family reunion / Family reunion / It’s so nice to come together / To get together The O’Jays, “Family Reunion,” 1975

Another hallmark of the modern African American family reunion are commemorative items such as a program, group photo, and T-shirt that put a tangible stamp on the importance of family ties. The Jones-Walker family reunion logo uses the adinkra symbol of Sankofa, meaning “go back and get it,” evoking the idea of reflecting on the past. 

Explore Your Family History

The Robert Frederick Smith Explore Your Family History Center helps people begin their family history journey and learn the basics of researching African American genealogy. 

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My First Family Reunion – Essay Sample

Topic: Family

Thesis Statement: Family is very important, as it says in the Bible: “A house that is divided cannot stand”.

• I attended my first family reunion when I was twelve years old. This was no ordinary family reunion; it involved my extended family, and lasted overnight. It was an overall fun experience and it brought me closer to my family
• “A family that prays together stays together”, grandmother would always say
• Today I will be speaking about the family reunion which brought my family and I closer together
• Sadly, not all people, especially teenagers appreciate their family
• Getting Acquainted night was our first gathering
• I did not realize how many family members I had, and was overwhelmed at first
• I was reluctant to be involved and stayed close to my immediate family
• I honestly did not want to be where I was, and it felt awkward
• After some time, I started liking it when we got a bit more involved in the activities
• We played icebreaker games and there were a few speeches
• The night turned out pretty fun
• The family picnic was probably the most fun part of the reunion
• After experiencing a gist of the reunion the night before, I was ready to be more involved
• I got to know family members who I did not know I had
• After a day, it was as if I knew them my whole life
• This part of the reunion was most probably the most active
• Games were held again, and it was all good times
• I did not want it to end
• The family banquet was a formal event, and it closed the family reunion
• The whole family gathered at a formal banquet where closing remarks were made
• We spoke about the good time we had during the activities
• It was concluded that we should do something like this more often
• After this whole time, grandmother, who was one of the eldest members in the family reiterated the importance of the family
• Because of all the games and activities, I did not realize that this reunion actually served a deeper purpose
• For me, it was just a very fun event, however after much thought, I knew it meant something more
• A family that prays together stays together. We made this happen by gathering all the members of our family, and joining together in meals and in good times
• “A house that is divided cannot stand”, and family is a very important part of anyone’s life
• Has any event in your life brought you closer to your family?

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6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Skip Your Family Reunion

Family is important, you get to learn your history, life is short, reunions keep the family tree strong, reunions allow you to meet new family members, reunions are a celebration of culture and heritage, show your family love.

Nowadays, it’s rare for the whole family to come together to celebrate and enjoy each other’s company. More often, the only times we really spend time together is on holidays and momentous events, like weddings and funerals.

Because of this, we tend to forget our roots, and move on with our lives without maintaining the bond with distant relatives. As time passes by, we eventually come to terms with not being able to see them. And, our effort and desire to reach out slowly fades away.

However, this shouldn’t be the case when it comes to family reunions. You may no longer invite your distant aunt or uncle to Christmas or birthdays, but family reunions are one-of-a-kind opportunities. It should be seen as a chance to rekindle and revive old relationships with the family. As members of a growing heritage, it’s your job to make sure the fire never dies out, and you’re all connected as one unit after all.

Since the holidays are coming around, you can expect invitations about your next gathering to start rolling in. Because we’re firm believers that you shouldn’t take these for granted, here are six reasons why you shouldn’t skip your family reunion.

Family serves as one of the first and most crucial influences in a child’s life . They provided us with a sense of belongingness and security, and showered us with endless love and support. They’re one of the reasons why we became who we are today.  

Because they’ll always be in our lives from beginning to end, we should prioritize them as they do us. We should equally do our part in keeping the relationship alive, so they know we value them just the same. So, the next time you receive that invitation, make time to attend your family reunion. Instead of running through your routine, take this time to treasure moments with the ones who love you.

During family reunions, you get to see your great grandparents and extended uncles and aunts, whom you possibly have lost contact with. What makes this momentous event special is that it allows you to reconnect with each other, and catch up. 

In one of these conversations, there are usually stories about your elders when they were younger and how the family came to be. Whether it’s about how they were able to surpass life’s greatest challenges or the most memorable experiences they’ve lived through, all of these make up the history of your kin. This allows you to realize where you’ve come from, and gives you the chance to pay homage to your roots.

They say we ought to live life to the fullest because we never know when our last day may be. Life is short, and moments are fleeting. Which is why it’s also one of the biggest reasons for you not to miss out on your family reunion. 

As we grow and focus on our own goals, we forget that our grandparents are growing older, too. Which is why it’s important to spend time with them whenever we can, even if it’s by attending once-in-a-blue-moon family reunions. 

Even if you aren’t close with your more distant relatives, take the opportunity to establish a relationship with them. Make memories while you still can, so when the time comes for them to pass on, you’ll have a piece of their heart with you.

Because of how extensive some families can be, it can be easy to lose touch with non-immediate relatives. Whether it’s because of distance, busy schedules, or varying interests, it’s expected to occur with any large groups. 

So as to avoid completely fraying from one another, don’t miss out on attending gatherings, such as your family reunion. Since there’ll probably be a lot of chances to strike a conversation, events like this will definitely help keep all of you connected, even if you only see each other every once in a while.

With every year or in between each family reunion, there’s so much that can happen with another person’s life. Marriage, relationships, and even children could be born within that time frame. By attending these annual gatherings, not only are you able to catch up with your old relatives, you also get to meet the new members of the family. They could be one of your cousin’s spouses, or even one of your aunt or uncle’s new baby. 

Regardless of the situation or who they’re with, it’s important to show your family that you care for them by meeting their loved ones.

A family’s honor and culture lie on the shared experiences, hardships, and values of its members. Since the entire clan gets to come together, consider it as a celebration of the rich legacy you all share. With this event, you get to remember the valuable lessons and teachings, and imbibe the beliefs passed on from generation to generation. 

You are a living, tangible proof of all your family’s accomplishments over the years. And, by attending your family reunion, you’re continuing a tradition your family holds dear.

If we haven’t stressed it enough, family is important and shouldn’t be taken for granted. Attending these family functions shows your appreciation for your loved ones’ existence, and all that they’ve helped you overcome. 

No matter where you’re headed or what you’ve been through, your family will always have your back, and they’ll always be waiting for your return. So, starting today, have the courage to show up and be present.

Once you’re there you’ll be reminded of what makes your family special, and why you should never miss out on attending your family reunion.

Laura Phelps

Laura is the force behind Gathered Again, transforming family gatherings into unforgettable memories with expert tips and a heart full of passion. Join her mission to celebrate the magic of family connections, one event at a time.

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What I’ve Learned From My Students’ College Essays

The genre is often maligned for being formulaic and melodramatic, but it’s more important than you think.

By Nell Freudenberger

Most high school seniors approach the college essay with dread. Either their upbringing hasn’t supplied them with several hundred words of adversity, or worse, they’re afraid that packaging the genuine trauma they’ve experienced is the only way to secure their future. The college counselor at the Brooklyn high school where I’m a writing tutor advises against trauma porn. “Keep it brief , ” she says, “and show how you rose above it.”

I started volunteering in New York City schools in my 20s, before I had kids of my own. At the time, I liked hanging out with teenagers, whom I sometimes had more interesting conversations with than I did my peers. Often I worked with students who spoke English as a second language or who used slang in their writing, and at first I was hung up on grammar. Should I correct any deviation from “standard English” to appeal to some Wizard of Oz behind the curtains of a college admissions office? Or should I encourage students to write the way they speak, in pursuit of an authentic voice, that most elusive of literary qualities?

In fact, I was missing the point. One of many lessons the students have taught me is to let the story dictate the voice of the essay. A few years ago, I worked with a boy who claimed to have nothing to write about. His life had been ordinary, he said; nothing had happened to him. I asked if he wanted to try writing about a family member, his favorite school subject, a summer job? He glanced at his phone, his posture and expression suggesting that he’d rather be anywhere but in front of a computer with me. “Hobbies?” I suggested, without much hope. He gave me a shy glance. “I like to box,” he said.

I’ve had this experience with reluctant writers again and again — when a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously. Of course the primary goal of a college essay is to help its author get an education that leads to a career. Changes in testing policies and financial aid have made applying to college more confusing than ever, but essays have remained basically the same. I would argue that they’re much more than an onerous task or rote exercise, and that unlike standardized tests they are infinitely variable and sometimes beautiful. College essays also provide an opportunity to learn precision, clarity and the process of working toward the truth through multiple revisions.

When a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously.

Even if writing doesn’t end up being fundamental to their future professions, students learn to choose language carefully and to be suspicious of the first words that come to mind. Especially now, as college students shoulder so much of the country’s ethical responsibility for war with their protest movement, essay writing teaches prospective students an increasingly urgent lesson: that choosing their own words over ready-made phrases is the only reliable way to ensure they’re thinking for themselves.

Teenagers are ideal writers for several reasons. They’re usually free of preconceptions about writing, and they tend not to use self-consciously ‘‘literary’’ language. They’re allergic to hypocrisy and are generally unfiltered: They overshare, ask personal questions and call you out for microaggressions as well as less egregious (but still mortifying) verbal errors, such as referring to weed as ‘‘pot.’’ Most important, they have yet to put down their best stories in a finished form.

I can imagine an essay taking a risk and distinguishing itself formally — a poem or a one-act play — but most kids use a more straightforward model: a hook followed by a narrative built around “small moments” that lead to a concluding lesson or aspiration for the future. I never get tired of working with students on these essays because each one is different, and the short, rigid form sometimes makes an emotional story even more powerful. Before I read Javier Zamora’s wrenching “Solito,” I worked with a student who had been transported by a coyote into the U.S. and was reunited with his mother in the parking lot of a big-box store. I don’t remember whether this essay focused on specific skills or coping mechanisms that he gained from his ordeal. I remember only the bliss of the parent-and-child reunion in that uninspiring setting. If I were making a case to an admissions officer, I would suggest that simply being able to convey that experience demonstrates the kind of resilience that any college should admire.

The essays that have stayed with me over the years don’t follow a pattern. There are some narratives on very predictable topics — living up to the expectations of immigrant parents, or suffering from depression in 2020 — that are moving because of the attention with which the student describes the experience. One girl determined to become an engineer while watching her father build furniture from scraps after work; a boy, grieving for his mother during lockdown, began taking pictures of the sky.

If, as Lorrie Moore said, “a short story is a love affair; a novel is a marriage,” what is a college essay? Every once in a while I sit down next to a student and start reading, and I have to suppress my excitement, because there on the Google Doc in front of me is a real writer’s voice. One of the first students I ever worked with wrote about falling in love with another girl in dance class, the absolute magic of watching her move and the terror in the conflict between her feelings and the instruction of her religious middle school. She made me think that college essays are less like love than limerence: one-sided, obsessive, idiosyncratic but profound, the first draft of the most personal story their writers will ever tell.

Nell Freudenberger’s novel “The Limits” was published by Knopf last month. She volunteers through the PEN America Writers in the Schools program.

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Alumni news paw reunions guide 2024.

PAW’s 2024 Guide to What’s Happening at Major Class Reunions

Find out which bands will be playing when, and much more.

Try These New Princeton Restaurants During Reunions 2024  

PAW’s guide to new restaurants will help you find breakfast, dinner, and dessert.

Reunions 2024 FAQ: How Could Construction and Protests Disrupt Festivities? 

We’ve anticipated some of your questions and broken down this year’s event.

Search Princeton High and Low With PAW’s Reunions Scavenger Hunt

 Test yourself and soak in and share these spots with your family and friends as you walk around Reunions this year. How many can you name and find?

Map: Navigating the 2024 P-rade

Follow the P-rade with this map of the route.

Pop Quiz: Test Your Reunions Knowledge With Tiger Trivia  

These questions were written by the authors of the new Princeton University Trivia Book.

Was Tent Sliding a Thing at Reunions? This PAW Staffer Says Yes

Mark F. Bernstein ’83 remembers like it was yesterday — and has the photo to prove it.

Mixologist Carey Jones ’08 Created a Cocktail for Reunions 2024  

Toast to Reunions with a simple drink Jones calls the Princeton Buck.

‘Despondent Tiger’ Logo Captured the Class of 1964  

The forlorn feline became the class mascot in the spring of 1963, when the senior class selected it as the logo design for the class’s beer jackets.

At Terrace Club Reunions, It’s Tradition to Sleep Under the Stars  

Members set up a campsite and pitch tents on the Terrace lawn.

Katie Panskyy ’17 Is Collecting Pins for a Princetoniana Project  

A self-proclaimed history buff, Panskyy hopes this project will uncover when the tradition of creating and collecting pins began. 

A Redwood Tree Has Been Growing in Princeton for 76 Years  

A large window in the new Princeton University Art Museum will frame the redwood tree.

Illustrator Creates Posters of Princeton Class Jackets  

‘They’re so jaunty, stylized, and fun,’ says artist Karen Stolper.

Beloved, No-Frills Rugby Reunion Is Known as Sober Sunday  

It’s no tent party — and they prefer it that way.

Access For All: Navigating Reunions with a Disability

Crowds, construction, hills, and heat. When tens of thousands of alumni and their families convene on Princeton’s campus for Reunions, many accessibility barriers arise. 

Say Cheese to These Favorite Reunions Photos

We asked, and you sent some of your favorite photos from Reunions.

For These Alumni, Their 50th Reunion Was Their First

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Essay: Karma and Girl Power Brought Joy Mcintyre ’74 to Princeton

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Ever Wonder Where All Those Reunions Golf Carts Come From?

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When Reunions Banned Rock Stars, Cover Bands Stepped In  

Will rock & roll Hall of Famers ever play Reunions again?

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The Whole Student: Mental Health at Reunions 2024

Jess Deutsch ’91 says when you go back, go forward focused on mental health.

Watch our Memorial Day tribute to the military who sacrificed all to serve their country

Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer. It's a time to gather with friends and family for a grill out, a picnic, or maybe a trip to the beach to soak up the sun. But while it may well feel like a day of celebration, what sometimes gets forgotten is that it was conceived as a day of commemoration for the brave military members who died serving their country.  

A University of Phoenix survey found that less than half of Americans polled knew the exact purpose of Memorial Day, while around a third were unsure of the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

To clarify, Veterans Day, which takes place in November, is a tribute to all those who served honorably in the military in wartime or peacetime, whether living or dead.

The confusion is compounded by Armed Forces Day, a military celebration held in May for those currently serving. However, while the reasons differ, the sentiment of each day is the same: all three are important opportunities to show gratitude.

So, when you chow down on that hot dog, barrel down that slip 'n slide, or whatever you do for fun this Memorial Day, spare a moment to acknowledge the people in uniform whose sacrifice made a difference.

On this Memorial Day, watch the video for a surprise reunion of battle buddies bonded by the loss of their leade r

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Reunion, Pt. 1

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Porsche Tragedy: Pune Cops Probe, Grill 3 Generations Of Accused's Family

Apart from the family, three others accused in the same case were also arrested on May 20 - the Cosie Restaurant owner Prahlad Bhutada, manager Sachin Katkar and bartender Sandeep Sangle.

Pune police is grilling 3 generations of the accused in the Pune Porsche crash case. (Representational)

Following the gruesome killing of two persons with a speeding Porsche on May 19, the Pune Police started grilling three generations of the city's realtor family, a member of which is the prime accused, on Thursday.

They include - the minor boy who was allegedly at the wheel of the Porsche at the time of the accident, his father the realtor, and his grandfather.

The minor was over-speeding and driving rash in a drunken state at a dizzying speed of around 200 kmph, and minutes later killing two techies from Madhya Pradesh.

The minor's father is being probed for allegedly giving his underage son the Porsche car that had no registration and allowing the driver to let the boy drive it, though he had no driver's licence.

During the grilling, he reportedly admitted that it was a "mistake" to give the luxury car to his son on May 18 (Saturday) night which resulted in the early Sunday heinous tragedy.

The boy's grandfather is under the scanner in a 15-year-old case of allegedly ordering a hit on a Shiv Sena ex-corporator Ajay Bhosale over some business dispute in October 2009, and the matter is currently sub-judice, with the Crime Branch probing the alleged mafia links with Chhota Rajan.

Finally, the minor boy - labelled as the 'Richie Rich brat' - is being questioned by the concerned authorities at the Juvenile Correctional Home where he was shunted on May 22, after a massive public outcry and protests.

According to the investigators, the boy had splurged at least Rs 48,000 on a party for around a dozen of his young friends at a restaurant and pub in Pune, where they were served a choice of imported hard liquors without verifying their age, and even kept the establishments open beyond the permissible hours.

After the binge, the youngsters trooped out and the minor boy sped off in his Porsche killing Ashwini Koshta and Aneesh Awadhiya - both 24 - who were returning home on a motorcycle after a reunion with friends that fateful morning.

Barely 15 hours later, the boy - ostensibly using his influential family connections - secured bail, was 'punished' in the form of writing an essay on the Porsche tragedy, consented to work for a fortnight with the Yerawada Traffic Police Department and willingness to undergo medical counselling for alcohol de-addiction.

As the local people expressed rage and the issue snowballed politically, the Pune Police filed a review plea against the May 19 order after which the Juvenile Justice Board on May 22 cancelled his bail and sent him to the Juvenile Correctional Home for 14 days.

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They are currently in police custody till Friday (May 24) for allegedly serving alcohol illegally to a minor customer and his friends without verifying their identity or age, and the premises were raided and sealed by the State Excise Department on Wednesday.  

(Except for the headline, this story has not been edited by NDTV staff and is published from a syndicated feed.)

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