conclusion for a how to essay

How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay

By the time you get to the final paragraph of your paper, you have already done so much work on your essay, so all you want to do is to wrap it up as quickly as possible. You’ve already made a stunning introduction, proven your argument, and structured the whole piece as supposed – who cares about making a good conclusion paragraph?

The only thing you need to remember is that the conclusion of an essay is not just the last paragraph of an academic paper where you restate your thesis and key arguments. A concluding paragraph is also your opportunity to have a final impact on your audience. 

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How to write a conclusion paragraph that leaves a lasting impression – In this guide, the team at EssayPro is going to walk you through the process of writing a perfect conclusion step by step. Additionally, we will share valuable tips and tricks to help students of all ages impress their readers at the last moment.

Instead of Intro: What Is a Conclusion?

Before we can move on, let’s take a moment here to define the conclusion itself. According to the standard conclusion definition, it is pretty much the last part of something, its result, or end. However, this term is rather broad and superficial.

When it comes to writing academic papers, a concluding statement refers to an opinion, judgment, suggestion, or position arrived at by logical reasoning (through the arguments provided in the body of the text). Therefore, if you are wondering “what is a good closing sentence like?” – keep on reading.

What Does a Good Conclusion Mean?

Writing a good conclusion for a paper isn’t easy. However, we are going to walk you through this process step by step. Although there are generally no strict rules on how to formulate one, there are some basic principles that everyone should keep in mind. In this section, we will share some core ideas for writing a good conclusion, and, later in the article, we will also provide you with more practical advice and examples.

Here are the core goals a good conclusion should complete:

• “Wrap up” the entire paper;
• Demonstrate to readers that the author accomplished what he/she set out to do;
• Show how you the author has proved their thesis statement;
• Give a sense of completeness and closure on the topic;
• Leave something extra for your reader to think about;
• Leave a powerful final impact on a reader.

Another key thing to remember is that you should not introduce any new ideas or arguments to your paper's conclusion. It should only sum up what you have already written, revisit your thesis statement, and end with a powerful final impression.

When considering how to write a conclusion that works, here are the key points to keep in mind:

• A concluding sentence should only revisit the thesis statement, not restate it;
• It should summarize the main ideas from the body of the paper;
• It should demonstrate the significance and relevance of your work;
• An essay’s conclusion should include a call for action and leave space for further study or development of the topic (if necessary).

How Long Should a Conclusion Be? 

Although there are no strict universal rules regarding the length of an essay’s final clause, both teachers and experienced writers recommend keeping it clear, concise, and straight to the point. There is an unspoken rule that the introduction and conclusion of an academic paper should both be about 10% of the overall paper’s volume. For example, if you were assigned a 1500 word essay, both the introductory and final clauses should be approximately 150 words long (300 together).

Why You Need to Know How to End an Essay:

A conclusion is what drives a paper to its logical end. It also drives the main points of your piece one last time. It is your last opportunity to impact and impress your audience. And, most importantly, it is your chance to demonstrate to readers why your work matters. Simply put, the final paragraph of your essay should answer the last important question a reader will have – “So what?”

If you do a concluding paragraph right, it can give your readers a sense of logical completeness. On the other hand, if you do not make it powerful enough, it can leave them hanging, and diminish the effect of the entire piece.

Strategies to Crafting a Proper Conclusion

Although there are no strict rules for what style to use to write your conclusion, there are several strategies that have been proven to be effective. In the list below, you can find some of the most effective strategies with some good conclusion paragraph examples to help you grasp the idea.

One effective way to emphasize the significance of your essay and give the audience some thought to ponder about is by taking a look into the future. The “When and If” technique is quite powerful when it comes to supporting your points in the essay’s conclusion.

Prediction essay conclusion example: “Taking care of a pet is quite hard, which is the reason why most parents refuse their children’s requests to get a pet. However, the refusal should be the last choice of parents. If we want to inculcate a deep sense of responsibility and organization in our kids, and, at the same time, sprout compassion in them, we must let our children take care of pets.”

Another effective strategy is to link your conclusion to your introductory paragraph. This will create a full-circle narration for your readers, create a better understanding of your topic, and emphasize your key point.

Echo conclusion paragraph example: Introduction: “I believe that all children should grow up with a pet. I still remember the exact day my parents brought my first puppy to our house. This was one of the happiest moments in my life and, at the same time, one of the most life-changing ones. Growing up with a pet taught me a lot, and most importantly, it taught me to be responsible.” Conclusion:. “I remember when I picked up my first puppy and how happy I was at that time. Growing up with a pet, I learned what it means to take care of someone, make sure that he always has water and food, teach him, and constantly keep an eye on my little companion. Having a child grow up with a pet teaches them responsibility and helps them acquire a variety of other life skills like leadership, love, compassion, and empathy. This is why I believe that every kid should grow up with a pet!”

Finally, one more trick that will help you create a flawless conclusion is to amplify your main idea or to present it in another perspective of a larger context. This technique will help your readers to look at the problem discussed from a different angle.

Step-up argumentative essay conclusion example: “Despite the obvious advantages of owning a pet in childhood, I feel that we cannot generalize whether all children should have a pet. Whereas some kids may benefit from such experiences, namely, by becoming more compassionate, organized, and responsible, it really depends on the situation, motivation, and enthusiasm of a particular child for owning a pet.”

What is a clincher in an essay? – The final part of an essay’s conclusion is often referred to as a clincher sentence. According to the clincher definition, it is a final sentence that reinforces the main idea or leaves the audience with an intriguing thought to ponder upon. In a nutshell, the clincher is very similar to the hook you would use in an introductory paragraph. Its core mission is to seize the audience’s attention until the end of the paper. At the same time, this statement is what creates a sense of completeness and helps the author leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Now, since you now know what a clincher is, you are probably wondering how to use one in your own paper. First of all, keep in mind that a good clincher should be intriguing, memorable, smooth, and straightforward.

Generally, there are several different tricks you can use for your clincher statement; it can be:

• A short, but memorable and attention-grabbing conclusion;
• A relevant and memorable quote (only if it brings actual value);
• A call to action;
• A rhetorical question;
• An illustrative story or provocative example;
• A warning against a possibility or suggestion about the consequences of a discussed problem;
• A joke (however, be careful with this as it may not always be deemed appropriate).

Regardless of the technique you choose, make sure that your clincher is memorable and aligns with your introduction and thesis.

Clincher examples: - While New York may not be the only place with the breathtaking views, it is definitely among my personal to 3… and that’s what definitely makes it worth visiting. - “Thence we came forth to rebehold the stars”, Divine Comedy - Don’t you think all these advantages sound like almost life-saving benefits of owning a pet? “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”, The Great Gatsby

Conclusion Writing Don'ts 

Now, when you know what tricks and techniques you should use to create a perfect conclusion, let’s look at some of the things you should not do with our online paper writing service :

• Starting with some cliché concluding sentence starters. Many students find common phrases like “In conclusion,” “Therefore,” “In summary,” or similar statements to be pretty good conclusion starters. However, though such conclusion sentence starters may work in certain cases – for example, in speeches – they are overused, so it is recommended not to use them in writing to introduce your conclusion.
• Putting the first mention of your thesis statement in the conclusion – it has to be presented in your introduction first.
• Providing new arguments, subtopics, or ideas in the conclusion paragraph.
• Including a slightly changed or unchanged thesis statement.
• Providing arguments and evidence that belong in the body of the work.
• Writing too long, hard to read, or confusing sentences.

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Conclusion Paragraph Outline

The total number of sentences in your final paragraph may vary depending on the number of points you discussed in your essay, as well as on the overall word count of your paper. However, the overall conclusion paragraph outline will remain the same and consists of the following elements:

• A conclusion starter:

The first part of your paragraph should drive readers back to your thesis statement. Thus, if you were wondering how to start a conclusion, the best way to do it is by rephrasing your thesis statement.

• Summary of the body paragraphs:

Right after revisiting your thesis, you should include several sentences that wrap up the key highlights and points from your body paragraphs. This part of your conclusion can consist of 2-3 sentences—depending on the number of arguments you’ve made. If necessary, you can also explain to the readers how your main points fit together.

• A concluding sentence:

Finally, you should end your paragraph with a last, powerful sentence that leaves a lasting impression, gives a sense of logical completeness, and connects readers back to the introduction of the paper.

These three key elements make up a perfect essay conclusion. Now, to give you an even better idea of how to create a perfect conclusion, let us give you a sample conclusion paragraph outline with examples from an argumentative essay on the topic of “Every Child Should Own a Pet:

• Sentence 1: Starter
• ~ Thesis: "Though taking care of a pet may be a bit challenging for small children. Parents should not restrict their kids from having a pet as it helps them grow into more responsible and compassionate people."
• ~ Restated thesis for a conclusion: "I can say that taking care of a pet is good for every child."
• Sentences 2-4: Summary
• ~ "Studies have shown that pet owners generally have fewer health problems."
• ~ "Owning a pet teaches a child to be more responsible."
• ~ "Spending time with a pet reduces stress, feelings of loneliness, and anxiety."
• Sentence 5: A concluding sentence
• ~ "Pets can really change a child life for the better, so don't hesitate to endorse your kid's desire to own a pet."

This is a clear example of how you can shape your conclusion paragraph.

How to Conclude Various Types of Essays

Depending on the type of academic essay you are working on, your concluding paragraph's style, tone, and length may vary. In this part of our guide, we will tell you how to end different types of essays and other works.

How to End an Argumentative Essay

Persuasive or argumentative essays always have the single goal of convincing readers of something (an idea, stance, or viewpoint) by appealing to arguments, facts, logic, and even emotions. The conclusion for such an essay has to be persuasive as well. A good trick you can use is to illustrate a real-life scenario that proves your stance or encourages readers to take action. More about persuasive essay outline you can read in our article.

Here are a few more tips for making a perfect conclusion for an argumentative essay:

• Carefully read the whole essay before you begin;
• Re-emphasize your ideas;
• Discuss possible implications;
• Don’t be afraid to appeal to the reader’s emotions.

How to End a Compare and Contrast Essay

The purpose of a compare and contrast essay is to emphasize the differences or similarities between two or more objects, people, phenomena, etc. Therefore, a logical conclusion should highlight how the reviewed objects are different or similar. Basically, in such a paper, your conclusion should recall all of the key common and distinctive features discussed in the body of your essay and also give readers some food for thought after they finish reading it.

How to Conclude a Descriptive Essay

The key idea of a descriptive essay is to showcase your creativity and writing skills by painting a vivid picture with the help of words. This is one of the most creative types of essays as it requires you to show a story, not tell it. This kind of essay implies using a lot of vivid details. Respectively, the conclusion of such a paper should also use descriptive imagery and, at the same time, sum up the main ideas. A good strategy for ending a descriptive essay would be to begin with a short explanation of why you wrote the essay. Then, you should reflect on how your topic affects you. In the middle of the conclusion, you should cover the most critical moments of the story to smoothly lead the reader into a logical closing statement. The “clincher”, in this case, should be a thought-provoking final sentence that leaves a good and lasting impression on the audience. Do not lead the reader into the essay and then leave them with dwindling memories of it.

How to Conclude an Essay About Yourself

If you find yourself writing an essay about yourself, you need to tell a personal story. As a rule, such essays talk about the author’s experiences, which is why a conclusion should create a feeling of narrative closure. A good strategy is to end your story with a logical finale and the lessons you have learned, while, at the same time, linking it to the introductory paragraph and recalling key moments from the story.

How to End an Informative Essay

Unlike other types of papers, informative or expository essays load readers with a lot of information and facts. In this case, “Synthesize, don’t summarize” is the best technique you can use to end your paper. Simply put, instead of recalling all of the major facts, you should approach your conclusion from the “So what?” position by highlighting the significance of the information provided.

How to Conclude a Narrative Essay

In a nutshell, a narrative essay is based on simple storytelling. The purpose of this paper is to share a particular story in detail. Therefore, the conclusion for such a paper should wrap up the story and avoid finishing on an abrupt cliffhanger. It is vital to include the key takeaways and the lessons learned from the story.

How to Write a Conclusion for a Lab Report

Unlike an essay, a lab report is based on an experiment. This type of paper describes the flow of a particular experiment conducted by a student and its conclusion should reflect on the outcomes of this experiment.

In thinking of how to write a conclusion for a lab, here are the key things you should do to get it right:

• Restate the goals of your experiment
• Describe the methods you used
• Include the results of the experiment and analyze the final data
• End your conclusion with a clear statement on whether or not the experiment was successful (Did you reach the expected results?)

How to Write a Conclusion for a Research Paper

Writing a paper is probably the hardest task of all, even for experienced dissertation writer . Unlike an essay or even a lab report, a research paper is a much longer piece of work that requires a deeper investigation of the problem. Therefore, a conclusion for such a paper should be even more sophisticated and powerful. If you're feeling difficulty writing an essay, you can buy essay on our service.

However, given that a research paper is the second most popular kind of academic paper (after an essay), it is important to know how to conclude a research paper. Even if you have not yet been assigned to do this task, be sure that you will face it soon. So, here are the steps you should follow to create a great conclusion for a research paper:

• Restate the Topic

Start your final paragraph with a quick reminder of what the topic of the piece is about. Keep it one sentence long.

• Revisit the Thesis

Next, you should remind your readers what your thesis statement was. However, do not just copy and paste it from the introductory clause: paraphrase your thesis so that you deliver the same idea but with different words. Keep your paraphrased thesis narrow, specific, and topic-oriented.

• Summarise Your Key Ideas

Just like the case of a regular essay’s conclusion, a research paper’s final paragraph should also include a short summary of all of the key points stated in the body sections. We recommend reading the entire body part a few times to define all of your main arguments and ideas.

• Showcase the Significance of Your Work

In the research paper conclusion, it is vital to highlight the significance of your research problem and state how your solution could be helpful.

• Make Suggestions for Future Studies

Finally, at the end of your conclusion, you should define how your findings will contribute to the development of its particular field of science. Outline the perspectives of further research and, if necessary, explain what is yet to be discovered on the topic.

Then, end your conclusion with a powerful concluding sentence – it can be a rhetorical question, call to action, or another hook that will help you have a strong impact on the audience.

• Answer the Right Questions

To create a top-notch research paper conclusion, be sure to answer the following questions:

• What is the goal of a research paper?
• What are the possible solutions to the research question(s)?
• How can your results be implemented in real life? (Is your research paper helpful to the community?)
• Why is this study important and relevant?

Additionally, here are a few more handy tips to follow:

• Provide clear examples from real life to help readers better understand the further implementation of the stated solutions;
• Keep your conclusion fresh, original, and creative.

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So, What Is a Good Closing Sentence? See The Difference

One of the best ways to learn how to write a good conclusion is to look at several professional essay conclusion examples. In this section of our guide, we are going to look at two different final paragraphs shaped on the basis of the same template, but even so, they are very different – where one is weak and the other is strong. Below, we are going to compare them to help you understand the difference between a good and a bad conclusion.

Here is the template we used: College degrees are in decline. The price of receiving an education does not correlate with the quality of the education received. As a result, graduated students face underemployment, and the worth of college degrees appears to be in serious doubt. However, the potential social and economic benefits of educated students balance out the equation.

Strong Conclusion ‍

People either see college as an opportunity or an inconvenience; therefore, a degree can only hold as much value as its owner’s skillset. The underemployment of graduate students puts the worth of college degrees in serious doubt. Yet, with the multitude of benefits that educated students bring to society and the economy, the equation remains in balance. Perhaps the ordinary person should consider college as a wise financial investment, but only if they stay determined to study and do the hard work.

Why is this example good? There are several key points that prove its effectiveness:

• There is a bold opening statement that encompasses the two contrasting types of students we can see today.
• There are two sentences that recall the thesis statement and cover the key arguments from the body of the essay.
• Finally, the last sentence sums up the key message of the essay and leaves readers with something to think about.

Weak Conclusion

In conclusion, with the poor preparation of students in college and the subsequent underemployment after graduation from college, the worth associated with the college degree appears to be in serious doubt. However, these issues alone may not reasonably conclude beyond a doubt that investing in a college degree is a rewarding venture. When the full benefits that come with education are carefully put into consideration and evaluated, college education for children in any country still has good advantages, and society should continue to advocate for a college education. The ordinary person should consider this a wise financial decision that holds rewards in the end. Apart from the monetary gains associated with a college education, society will greatly benefit from students when they finish college. Their minds are going to be expanded, and their reasoning and decision making will be enhanced.

What makes this example bad? Here are a few points to consider:

• Unlike the first example, this paragraph is long and not specific enough. The author provides plenty of generalized phrases that are not backed up by actual arguments.
• This piece is hard to read and understand and sentences have a confusing structure. Also, there are lots of repetitions and too many uses of the word “college”.
• There is no summary of the key benefits.
• The last two sentences that highlight the value of education contradict with the initial statement.
• Finally, the last sentence doesn’t offer a strong conclusion and gives no thought to ponder upon.
• In the body of your essay, you have hopefully already provided your reader(s) with plenty of information. Therefore, it is not wise to present new arguments or ideas in your conclusion.
• To end your final paragraph right, find a clear and straightforward message that will have the most powerful impact on your audience.
• Don’t use more than one quote in the final clause of your paper – the information from external sources (including quotes) belongs in the body of a paper.
• Be authoritative when writing a conclusion. You should sound confident and convincing to leave a good impression. Sentences like “I’m not an expert, but…” will most likely make you seem less knowledgeable and/or credible.

Good Conclusion Examples

Now that we've learned what a conclusion is and how to write one let's take a look at some essay conclusion examples to strengthen our knowledge.

The ending ironically reveals that all was for nothing. (A short explanation of the thematic effect of the book’s end) Tom says that Miss Watson freed Jim in her final will.Jim told Huck that the dead man on the Island was pap. The entire adventure seemingly evaporated into nothingness. (How this effect was manifested into the minds of thereaders).

All in all, international schools hold the key to building a full future that students can achieve. (Thesis statement simplified) They help students develop their own character by learning from their mistakes, without having to face a dreadful penalty for failure. (Thesis statement elaborated)Although some say that kids emerged “spoiled” with this mentality, the results prove the contrary. (Possible counter-arguments are noted)

In conclusion, public workers should be allowed to strike since it will give them a chance to air their grievances. (Thesis statement) Public workers should be allowed to strike when their rights, safety, and regulations are compromised. The workers will get motivated when they strike, and their demands are met.

In summary, studies reveal some similarities in the nutrient contents between the organic and non-organic food substances. (Starts with similarities) However, others have revealed many considerable differences in the amounts of antioxidants as well as other minerals present in organic and non-organic foods. Generally, organic foods have higher levels of antioxidants than non-organic foods and therefore are more important in the prevention of chronic illnesses.

As time went by, my obsession grew into something bigger than art; (‘As time went by’ signals maturation) it grew into a dream of developing myself for the world. (Showing student’s interest of developing himself for the community) It is a dream of not only seeing the world from a different perspective but also changing the perspective of people who see my work. (Showing student’s determination to create moving pieces of art)

In conclusion, it is evident that technology is an integral part of our lives and without it, we become “lost” since we have increasingly become dependent on its use. (Thesis with main point)

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How To Write A Conclusion For An Essay?

How to write a good conclusion, how to write a conclusion for a college essay, related articles.

Conclusions

What this handout is about.

This handout will explain the functions of conclusions, offer strategies for writing effective ones, help you evaluate conclusions you’ve drafted, and suggest approaches to avoid.

About conclusions

Introductions and conclusions can be difficult to write, but they’re worth investing time in. They can have a significant influence on a reader’s experience of your paper.

Just as your introduction acts as a bridge that transports your readers from their own lives into the “place” of your analysis, your conclusion can provide a bridge to help your readers make the transition back to their daily lives. Such a conclusion will help them see why all your analysis and information should matter to them after they put the paper down.

Your conclusion is your chance to have the last word on the subject. The conclusion allows you to have the final say on the issues you have raised in your paper, to synthesize your thoughts, to demonstrate the importance of your ideas, and to propel your reader to a new view of the subject. It is also your opportunity to make a good final impression and to end on a positive note.

Your conclusion can go beyond the confines of the assignment. The conclusion pushes beyond the boundaries of the prompt and allows you to consider broader issues, make new connections, and elaborate on the significance of your findings.

Your conclusion should make your readers glad they read your paper. Your conclusion gives your reader something to take away that will help them see things differently or appreciate your topic in personally relevant ways. It can suggest broader implications that will not only interest your reader, but also enrich your reader’s life in some way. It is your gift to the reader.

Strategies for writing an effective conclusion

One or more of the following strategies may help you write an effective conclusion:

• Play the “So What” Game. If you’re stuck and feel like your conclusion isn’t saying anything new or interesting, ask a friend to read it with you. Whenever you make a statement from your conclusion, ask the friend to say, “So what?” or “Why should anybody care?” Then ponder that question and answer it. Here’s how it might go: You: Basically, I’m just saying that education was important to Douglass. Friend: So what? You: Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like a free and equal citizen. Friend: Why should anybody care? You: That’s important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves from being educated so that they could maintain control. When Douglass obtained an education, he undermined that control personally. You can also use this strategy on your own, asking yourself “So What?” as you develop your ideas or your draft.
• Return to the theme or themes in the introduction. This strategy brings the reader full circle. For example, if you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay is helpful in creating a new understanding. You may also refer to the introductory paragraph by using key words or parallel concepts and images that you also used in the introduction.
• Synthesize, don’t summarize. Include a brief summary of the paper’s main points, but don’t simply repeat things that were in your paper. Instead, show your reader how the points you made and the support and examples you used fit together. Pull it all together.
• Include a provocative insight or quotation from the research or reading you did for your paper.
• Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study. This can redirect your reader’s thought process and help them to apply your info and ideas to their own life or to see the broader implications.
• Point to broader implications. For example, if your paper examines the Greensboro sit-ins or another event in the Civil Rights Movement, you could point out its impact on the Civil Rights Movement as a whole. A paper about the style of writer Virginia Woolf could point to her influence on other writers or on later feminists.

Strategies to avoid

• Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as “in conclusion,” “in summary,” or “in closing.” Although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden and trite in writing.
• Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.
• Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.
• Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.
• Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of an analytical paper.
• Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.

Four kinds of ineffective conclusions

• The “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” Conclusion. This conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually painfully short. It does not push the ideas forward. People write this kind of conclusion when they can’t think of anything else to say. Example: In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.
• The “Sherlock Holmes” Conclusion. Sometimes writers will state the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion. You might be tempted to use this strategy if you don’t want to give everything away too early in your paper. You may think it would be more dramatic to keep the reader in the dark until the end and then “wow” them with your main idea, as in a Sherlock Holmes mystery. The reader, however, does not expect a mystery, but an analytical discussion of your topic in an academic style, with the main argument (thesis) stated up front. Example: (After a paper that lists numerous incidents from the book but never says what these incidents reveal about Douglass and his views on education): So, as the evidence above demonstrates, Douglass saw education as a way to undermine the slaveholders’ power and also an important step toward freedom.
• The “America the Beautiful”/”I Am Woman”/”We Shall Overcome” Conclusion. This kind of conclusion usually draws on emotion to make its appeal, but while this emotion and even sentimentality may be very heartfelt, it is usually out of character with the rest of an analytical paper. A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise, would be a more fitting tribute to the topic. Example: Because of the efforts of fine Americans like Frederick Douglass, countless others have seen the shining beacon of light that is education. His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass was truly an American hero.
• The “Grab Bag” Conclusion. This kind of conclusion includes extra information that the writer found or thought of but couldn’t integrate into the main paper. You may find it hard to leave out details that you discovered after hours of research and thought, but adding random facts and bits of evidence at the end of an otherwise-well-organized essay can just create confusion. Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick Douglass provides an interesting case study for masculinity in the American South. He also offers historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance when he confronts Covey, the overseer. His relationships with female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave community.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Douglass, Frederick. 1995. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Written by Himself. New York: Dover.

Hamilton College. n.d. “Conclusions.” Writing Center. Accessed June 14, 2019. https://www.hamilton.edu//academics/centers/writing/writing-resources/conclusions .

Holewa, Randa. 2004. “Strategies for Writing a Conclusion.” LEO: Literacy Education Online. Last updated February 19, 2004. https://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/conclude.html.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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• Writing Tips

How to Write an Essay Conclusion

4-minute read

• 1st October 2022

Regardless of what you’re studying, writing essays is probably a significant part of your work as a student . Taking the time to understand how to write each section of an essay (i.e., introduction, body, and conclusion) can make the entire process easier and ensure that you’ll be successful.

Once you’ve put in the hard work of writing a coherent and compelling essay, it can be tempting to quickly throw together a conclusion without the same attention to detail. However, you won’t leave an impactful final impression on your readers without a strong conclusion.

We’ve compiled a few easy steps to help you write a great conclusion for your next essay . Watch our video, or check out our guide below to learn more!

1. Return to Your Thesis

Similar to how an introduction should capture your reader’s interest and present your argument, a conclusion should show why your argument matters and leave the reader with further curiosity about the topic.

To do this, you should begin by reminding the reader of your thesis statement. While you can use similar language and keywords when referring to your thesis, avoid copying it from the introduction and pasting it into your conclusion.

Try varying your vocabulary and sentence structure and presenting your thesis in a way that demonstrates how your argument has evolved throughout your essay.

2. Review Your Main Points

In addition to revisiting your thesis statement, you should review the main points you presented in your essay to support your argument.

However, a conclusion isn’t simply a summary of your essay . Rather, you should further examine your main points and demonstrate how each is connected.

Try to discuss these points concisely, in just a few sentences, in preparation for demonstrating how they fit in to the bigger picture of the topic.

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3. Show the Significance of Your Essay

Next, it’s time to think about the topic of your essay beyond the scope of your argument. It’s helpful to keep the question “so what?” in mind when you’re doing this. The goal is to demonstrate why your argument matters.

If you need some ideas about what to discuss to show the significance of your essay, consider the following:

• What do your findings contribute to the current understanding of the topic?
• Did your findings raise new questions that would benefit from future research?
• Can you offer practical suggestions for future research or make predictions about the future of the field/topic?
• Are there other contexts, topics, or a broader debate that your ideas can be applied to?

While writing your essay, it can be helpful to keep a list of ideas or insights that you develop about the implications of your work so that you can refer back to it when you write the conclusion.

Making these kinds of connections will leave a memorable impression on the reader and inspire their interest in the topic you’ve written about.

4. Avoid Some Common Mistakes

To ensure you’ve written a strong conclusion that doesn’t leave your reader confused or lacking confidence in your work, avoid:

• Presenting new evidence: Don’t introduce new information or a new argument, as it can distract from your main topic, confuse your reader, and suggest that your essay isn’t organized.
• Undermining your argument: Don’t use statements such as “I’m not an expert,” “I feel,” or “I think,” as lacking confidence in your work will weaken your argument.
• Using generic statements: Don’t use generic concluding statements such as “In summary,” “To sum up,” or “In conclusion,” which are redundant since the reader will be able to see that they’ve reached the end of your essay.

Finally, don’t make the mistake of forgetting to proofread your essay ! Mistakes can be difficult to catch in your own writing, but they can detract from your writing.

Our expert editors can ensure that your essay is clear, concise, and free of spelling and grammar errors. Find out more by submitting a free trial document today!

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17 Essay Conclusion Examples (Copy and Paste)

Essay conclusions are not just extra filler. They are important because they tie together your arguments, then give you the chance to forcefully drive your point home.

I created the 5 Cs conclusion method to help you write essay conclusions:

I’ve previously produced the video below on how to write a conclusion that goes over the above image.

The video follows the 5 C’s method ( you can read about it in this post ), which doesn’t perfectly match each of the below copy-and-paste conclusion examples, but the principles are similar, and can help you to write your own strong conclusion:

💡 New! Try this AI Prompt to Generate a Sample 5Cs Conclusion This is my essay: [INSERT ESSAY WITHOUT THE CONCLUSION]. I want you to write a conclusion for this essay. In the first sentence of the conclusion, return to a statement I made in the introduction. In the second sentence, reiterate the thesis statement I have used. In the third sentence, clarify how my final position is relevant to the Essay Question, which is [ESSAY QUESTION]. In the fourth sentence, explain who should be interested in my findings. In the fifth sentence, end by noting in one final, engaging sentence why this topic is of such importance.

Remember: The prompt can help you generate samples but you can’t submit AI text for assessment. Make sure you write your conclusion in your own words.

Essay Conclusion Examples

Below is a range of copy-and-paste essay conclusions with gaps for you to fill-in your topic and key arguments. Browse through for one you like (there are 17 for argumentative, expository, compare and contrast, and critical essays). Once you’ve found one you like, copy it and add-in the key points to make it your own.

1. Argumentative Essay Conclusions

The arguments presented in this essay demonstrate the significant importance of _____________. While there are some strong counterarguments, such as ____________, it remains clear that the benefits/merits of _____________ far outweigh the potential downsides. The evidence presented throughout the essay strongly support _____________. In the coming years, _____________ will be increasingly important. Therefore, continual advocacy for the position presented in this essay will be necessary, especially due to its significant implications for _____________.

Version 1 Filled-In

The arguments presented in this essay demonstrate the significant importance of fighting climate change. While there are some strong counterarguments, such as the claim that it is too late to stop catastrophic change, it remains clear that the merits of taking drastic action far outweigh the potential downsides. The evidence presented throughout the essay strongly support the claim that we can at least mitigate the worst effects. In the coming years, intergovernmental worldwide agreements will be increasingly important. Therefore, continual advocacy for the position presented in this essay will be necessary, especially due to its significant implications for humankind.

As this essay has shown, it is clear that the debate surrounding _____________ is multifaceted and highly complex. While there are strong arguments opposing the position that _____________, there remains overwhelming evidence to support the claim that _____________. A careful analysis of the empirical evidence suggests that _____________ not only leads to ____________, but it may also be a necessity for _____________. Moving forward, _____________ should be a priority for all stakeholders involved, as it promises a better future for _____________. The focus should now shift towards how best to integrate _____________ more effectively into society.

Version 2 Filled-In

As this essay has shown, it is clear that the debate surrounding climate change is multifaceted and highly complex. While there are strong arguments opposing the position that we should fight climate change, there remains overwhelming evidence to support the claim that action can mitigate the worst effects. A careful analysis of the empirical evidence suggests that strong action not only leads to better economic outcomes in the long term, but it may also be a necessity for preventing climate-related deaths. Moving forward, carbon emission mitigation should be a priority for all stakeholders involved, as it promises a better future for all. The focus should now shift towards how best to integrate smart climate policies more effectively into society.

Based upon the preponderance of evidence, it is evident that _____________ holds the potential to significantly alter/improve _____________. The counterarguments, while noteworthy, fail to diminish the compelling case for _____________. Following an examination of both sides of the argument, it has become clear that _____________ presents the most effective solution/approach to _____________. Consequently, it is imperative that society acknowledge the value of _____________ for developing a better  _____________. Failing to address this topic could lead to negative outcomes, including _____________.

Version 3 Filled-In

Based upon the preponderance of evidence, it is evident that addressing climate change holds the potential to significantly improve the future of society. The counterarguments, while noteworthy, fail to diminish the compelling case for immediate climate action. Following an examination of both sides of the argument, it has become clear that widespread and urgent social action presents the most effective solution to this pressing problem. Consequently, it is imperative that society acknowledge the value of taking immediate action for developing a better environment for future generations. Failing to address this topic could lead to negative outcomes, including more extreme climate events and greater economic externalities.

See Also: Examples of Counterarguments

On the balance of evidence, there is an overwhelming case for _____________. While the counterarguments offer valid points that are worth examining, they do not outweigh or overcome the argument that _____________. An evaluation of both perspectives on this topic concludes that _____________ is the most sufficient option for  _____________. The implications of embracing _____________ do not only have immediate benefits, but they also pave the way for a more _____________. Therefore, the solution of _____________ should be actively pursued by _____________.

Version 4 Filled-In

On the balance of evidence, there is an overwhelming case for immediate tax-based action to mitigate the effects of climate change. While the counterarguments offer valid points that are worth examining, they do not outweigh or overcome the argument that action is urgently necessary. An evaluation of both perspectives on this topic concludes that taking societal-wide action is the most sufficient option for  achieving the best results. The implications of embracing a society-wide approach like a carbon tax do not only have immediate benefits, but they also pave the way for a more healthy future. Therefore, the solution of a carbon tax or equivalent policy should be actively pursued by governments.

2. Expository Essay Conclusions

Overall, it is evident that _____________ plays a crucial role in _____________. The analysis presented in this essay demonstrates the clear impact of _____________ on _____________. By understanding the key facts about _____________, practitioners/society are better equipped to navigate _____________. Moving forward, further exploration of _____________ will yield additional insights and information about _____________. As such, _____________ should remain a focal point for further discussions and studies on _____________.

Overall, it is evident that social media plays a crucial role in harming teenagers’ mental health. The analysis presented in this essay demonstrates the clear impact of social media on young people. By understanding the key facts about the ways social media cause young people to experience body dysmorphia, teachers and parents are better equipped to help young people navigate online spaces. Moving forward, further exploration of the ways social media cause harm will yield additional insights and information about how it can be more sufficiently regulated. As such, the effects of social media on youth should remain a focal point for further discussions and studies on youth mental health.

To conclude, this essay has explored the multi-faceted aspects of _____________. Through a careful examination of _____________, this essay has illuminated its significant influence on _____________. This understanding allows society to appreciate the idea that _____________. As research continues to emerge, the importance of _____________ will only continue to grow. Therefore, an understanding of _____________ is not merely desirable, but imperative for _____________.

To conclude, this essay has explored the multi-faceted aspects of globalization. Through a careful examination of globalization, this essay has illuminated its significant influence on the economy, cultures, and society. This understanding allows society to appreciate the idea that globalization has both positive and negative effects. As research continues to emerge, the importance of studying globalization will only continue to grow. Therefore, an understanding of globalization’s effects is not merely desirable, but imperative for judging whether it is good or bad.

Reflecting on the discussion, it is clear that _____________ serves a pivotal role in _____________. By delving into the intricacies of _____________, we have gained valuable insights into its impact and significance. This knowledge will undoubtedly serve as a guiding principle in _____________. Moving forward, it is paramount to remain open to further explorations and studies on _____________. In this way, our understanding and appreciation of _____________ can only deepen and expand.

Reflecting on the discussion, it is clear that mass media serves a pivotal role in shaping public opinion. By delving into the intricacies of mass media, we have gained valuable insights into its impact and significance. This knowledge will undoubtedly serve as a guiding principle in shaping the media landscape. Moving forward, it is paramount to remain open to further explorations and studies on how mass media impacts society. In this way, our understanding and appreciation of mass media’s impacts can only deepen and expand.

In conclusion, this essay has shed light on the importance of _____________ in the context of _____________. The evidence and analysis provided underscore the profound effect _____________ has on _____________. The knowledge gained from exploring _____________ will undoubtedly contribute to more informed and effective decisions in _____________. As we continue to progress, the significance of understanding _____________ will remain paramount. Hence, we should strive to deepen our knowledge of _____________ to better navigate and influence _____________.

In conclusion, this essay has shed light on the importance of bedside manner in the context of nursing. The evidence and analysis provided underscore the profound effect compassionate bedside manner has on patient outcome. The knowledge gained from exploring nurses’ bedside manner will undoubtedly contribute to more informed and effective decisions in nursing practice. As we continue to progress, the significance of understanding nurses’ bedside manner will remain paramount. Hence, we should strive to deepen our knowledge of this topic to better navigate and influence patient outcomes.

See More: How to Write an Expository Essay

3. Compare and Contrast Essay Conclusion

While both _____________ and _____________ have similarities such as _____________, they also have some very important differences in areas like _____________. Through this comparative analysis, a broader understanding of _____________ and _____________ has been attained. The choice between the two will largely depend on _____________. For example, as highlighted in the essay, ____________. Despite their differences, both _____________ and _____________ have value in different situations.

While both macrosociology and microsociology have similarities such as their foci on how society is structured, they also have some very important differences in areas like their differing approaches to research methodologies. Through this comparative analysis, a broader understanding of macrosociology and microsociology has been attained. The choice between the two will largely depend on the researcher’s perspective on how society works. For example, as highlighted in the essay, microsociology is much more concerned with individuals’ experiences while macrosociology is more concerned with social structures. Despite their differences, both macrosociology and microsociology have value in different situations.

It is clear that _____________ and _____________, while seeming to be different, have shared characteristics in _____________. On the other hand, their contrasts in _____________ shed light on their unique features. The analysis provides a more nuanced comprehension of these subjects. In choosing between the two, consideration should be given to _____________. Despite their disparities, it’s crucial to acknowledge the importance of both when it comes to _____________.

It is clear that behaviorism and consructivism, while seeming to be different, have shared characteristics in their foci on knowledge acquisition over time. On the other hand, their contrasts in ideas about the role of experience in learning shed light on their unique features. The analysis provides a more nuanced comprehension of these subjects. In choosing between the two, consideration should be given to which approach works best in which situation. Despite their disparities, it’s crucial to acknowledge the importance of both when it comes to student education.

Reflecting on the points discussed, it’s evident that _____________ and _____________ share similarities such as _____________, while also demonstrating unique differences, particularly in _____________. The preference for one over the other would typically depend on factors such as _____________. Yet, regardless of their distinctions, both _____________ and _____________ play integral roles in their respective areas, significantly contributing to _____________.

Reflecting on the points discussed, it’s evident that red and orange share similarities such as the fact they are both ‘hot colors’, while also demonstrating unique differences, particularly in their social meaning (red meaning danger and orange warmth). The preference for one over the other would typically depend on factors such as personal taste. Yet, regardless of their distinctions, both red and orange play integral roles in their respective areas, significantly contributing to color theory.

Ultimately, the comparison and contrast of _____________ and _____________ have revealed intriguing similarities and notable differences. Differences such as _____________ give deeper insights into their unique and shared qualities. When it comes to choosing between them, _____________ will likely be a deciding factor. Despite these differences, it is important to remember that both _____________ and _____________ hold significant value within the context of _____________, and each contributes to _____________ in its own unique way.

Ultimately, the comparison and contrast of driving and flying have revealed intriguing similarities and notable differences. Differences such as their differing speed to destination give deeper insights into their unique and shared qualities. When it comes to choosing between them, urgency to arrive at the destination will likely be a deciding factor. Despite these differences, it is important to remember that both driving and flying hold significant value within the context of air transit, and each contributes to facilitating movement in its own unique way.

See Here for More Compare and Contrast Essay Examples

4. Critical Essay Conclusion

In conclusion, the analysis of _____________ has unveiled critical aspects related to _____________. While there are strengths in _____________, its limitations are equally telling. This critique provides a more informed perspective on _____________, revealing that there is much more beneath the surface. Moving forward, the understanding of _____________ should evolve, considering both its merits and flaws.

In conclusion, the analysis of flow theory has unveiled critical aspects related to motivation and focus. While there are strengths in achieving a flow state, its limitations are equally telling. This critique provides a more informed perspective on how humans achieve motivation, revealing that there is much more beneath the surface. Moving forward, the understanding of flow theory of motivation should evolve, considering both its merits and flaws.

To conclude, this critical examination of _____________ sheds light on its multi-dimensional nature. While _____________ presents notable advantages, it is not without its drawbacks. This in-depth critique offers a comprehensive understanding of _____________. Therefore, future engagements with _____________ should involve a balanced consideration of its strengths and weaknesses.

To conclude, this critical examination of postmodern art sheds light on its multi-dimensional nature. While postmodernism presents notable advantages, it is not without its drawbacks. This in-depth critique offers a comprehensive understanding of how it has contributed to the arts over the past 50 years. Therefore, future engagements with postmodern art should involve a balanced consideration of its strengths and weaknesses.

Upon reflection, the critique of _____________ uncovers profound insights into its underlying intricacies. Despite its positive aspects such as ________, it’s impossible to overlook its shortcomings. This analysis provides a nuanced understanding of _____________, highlighting the necessity for a balanced approach in future interactions. Indeed, both the strengths and weaknesses of _____________ should be taken into account when considering ____________.

Upon reflection, the critique of marxism uncovers profound insights into its underlying intricacies. Despite its positive aspects such as its ability to critique exploitation of labor, it’s impossible to overlook its shortcomings. This analysis provides a nuanced understanding of marxism’s harmful effects when used as an economic theory, highlighting the necessity for a balanced approach in future interactions. Indeed, both the strengths and weaknesses of marxism should be taken into account when considering the use of its ideas in real life.

Ultimately, this critique of _____________ offers a detailed look into its advantages and disadvantages. The strengths of _____________ such as __________ are significant, yet its limitations such as _________ are not insignificant. This balanced analysis not only offers a deeper understanding of _____________ but also underscores the importance of critical evaluation. Hence, it’s crucial that future discussions around _____________ continue to embrace this balanced approach.

Ultimately, this critique of artificial intelligence offers a detailed look into its advantages and disadvantages. The strengths of artificial intelligence, such as its ability to improve productivity are significant, yet its limitations such as the possibility of mass job losses are not insignificant. This balanced analysis not only offers a deeper understanding of artificial intelligence but also underscores the importance of critical evaluation. Hence, it’s crucial that future discussions around the regulation of artificial intelligence continue to embrace this balanced approach.

This article promised 17 essay conclusions, and this one you are reading now is the twenty-first. This last conclusion demonstrates that the very best essay conclusions are written uniquely, from scratch, in order to perfectly cater the conclusion to the topic. A good conclusion will tie together all the key points you made in your essay and forcefully drive home the importance or relevance of your argument, thesis statement, or simply your topic so the reader is left with one strong final point to ponder.

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ 5 Top Tips for Succeeding at University
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• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ 100 Consumer Goods Examples
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ 30 Globalization Pros and Cons

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Purdue Online Writing Lab Purdue OWL® College of Liberal Arts

Conclusions

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Conclusions wrap up what you have been discussing in your paper. After moving from general to specific information in the introduction and body paragraphs, your conclusion should begin pulling back into more general information that restates the main points of your argument. Conclusions may also call for action or overview future possible research. The following outline may help you conclude your paper:

In a general way,

• Restate your topic and why it is important,
• Restate your thesis/claim,
• Address opposing viewpoints and explain why readers should align with your position,
• Call for action or overview future research possibilities.

Remember that once you accomplish these tasks, unless otherwise directed by your instructor, you are finished. Done. Complete. Don't try to bring in new points or end with a whiz bang(!) conclusion or try to solve world hunger in the final sentence of your conclusion. Simplicity is best for a clear, convincing message.

The preacher's maxim is one of the most effective formulas to follow for argument papers:

Tell what you're going to tell them (introduction).

Tell them (body).

Tell them what you told them (conclusion).

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How to Write a Concluding Paragraph for a Persuasive Essay

Last Updated: February 13, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jake Adams . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 185,180 times.

Giving an Overview

• If it helps, print out a copy of the body of the paper and highlight the main points to be summarized.

• For instance, "Gun laws should be changed to reflect the evolving needs of today's generations.”

• You can, however, create a call to action or end with a creative and engaging hook statement.

• Using the first sentence to restate the hypothesis in your introduction, in different wording
• Writing the next 2-3 sentence to summarize the key arguments made in your paper
• Having the last 1-2 sentences be a grand statement of conclusion, saying what your final findings are

Using Convincing Wording

• For instance, "Regular exercise reduces stress, improves your sleep, and promotes weight loss."

• For instance, instead of writing, "The traditional American Dream is not dead and gone," write, "The American Dream is not dead.”
• However, keep in mind that in some cases, more elaborate wording may be necessary to drive home your point.

Establishing the Relevance of Your Conclusion

• For example,"What will happen to small businesses as different industries continue to go digital?"

• For example, "Being environmentally responsible is a necessary step for all people, in order to save the parts of nature that we have left."

• For example, "If this competitive nature of school work were replaced with a more community-based learning approach, we might see happier, healthier children."

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You Might Also Like

• ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 20 May 2020.
• ↑ https://opentextbc.ca/writingforsuccess/chapter/chapter-10-persuasion/
• ↑ http://penandthepad.com/write-concluding-paragraph-persuasive-essay-college-1412.html
• ↑ http://examples.yourdictionary.com/parallel-structure-examples.html
• ↑ http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions
• ↑ https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/common_writing_assignments/argument_papers/conclusions.html

About This Article

To write a concluding paragraph for your persuasive essay, you’ll need to briefly summarize your main arguments. Use the first sentence to restate your hypothesis from your introduction in different words. Then, spend 2 or 3 sentences reminding the reader of the main arguments you made throughout the essay. Use strong, simple language to emphasize your conclusion. You can also add a call to action or tell the reader what you think should happen as a result of your conclusions. For example, "If this competitive nature of school work were replaced with a more community-based learning approach, we might see happier, healthier children." For more tips from our Teaching co-author, including how to position your arguments within the bigger picture, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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The Complete College Essay Handbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Writing the Personal Statement and the Supplemental Essays Paperback – July 19, 2021

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Want to write memorable college application essays in less time, with less stress? This book will guide you through the process, with hands-on activities, practical tips, and tons of real application essays—personal statements and supplemental essays—by real students!

Finally—the book you’ve been waiting for! The Complete College Essay Handbook demystifies the entire college essay writing process with easy-to-follow directions and hands-on activities that have worked for hundreds of students. Maschal, a former admissions officer, and Wood, a professional writer and writing teacher, draw on their combined expertise to help students craft a successful set of application essays for every school on their list. Supplemental essays in particular can seem overwhelming—some schools ask students to write as many as six essays in addition to the personal statement. Maschal and Wood identify four types of supplemental essays, walking students through how to write each one and then how to recycle these essays for other schools.

The Complete College Essay Handbook walks students through:

• What makes an essay stand out, drawing on sample essays by real students to illustrate main points
• Brainstorming activities to find the best topics for the personal statement and supplemental essays
• How to write the two central components of every application essay: scene and reflection
• Editing and revision—including techniques to cut down or expand an essay to hit the word limit
• The four types of supplemental essays and how to decode the different essay prompts, using actual essay questions
• The strategy behind a well-rounded set of application essays

The Complete College Essay Handbook is a no-frills, practical guide that will give students the confidence and know-how they need to craft the best essays for every single school on their list—in less time and with less stress.

This book is for students, high school teachers and counselors, parents, and anyone else who wants to help students through the college essay writing process.

• Print length 212 pages
• Language English
• Publication date July 19, 2021
• Dimensions 6 x 0.48 x 9 inches
• ISBN-10 173731598X
• ISBN-13 978-1737315988
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• Publisher ‏ : ‎ 1 (July 19, 2021)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 212 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 173731598X
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1737315988
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.7 ounces
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.48 x 9 inches
• #539 in College Guides (Books)
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About the author

Brittany maschal.

Dr. Brittany Maschal is the founder of Brittany Maschal Consulting, LLC, an educational consulting firm that works with students applying to college and graduate school.

Brittany has held positions in admissions and student services at the University of Pennsylvania at Penn Law and The Wharton School; Princeton University (undergraduate) and the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs; and the Johns Hopkins University-Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS). She has served on admissions committees with American Councils for International Education and International Research and Exchanges Board; as an invited speaker to numerous community programs in the US and abroad; and as an alumni interviewer and admissions representative for the Graduate School of Education at the University of Pennsylvania. Brittany was also an Executive Board member and Membership Director of the Penn GSE Alumni Association.

Brittany received her doctorate in higher education from the George Washington University in 2012. Prior, she attended the University of Pennsylvania for her master’s, and the University of Vermont for her bachelor’s degree—a degree she obtained in three years. Brittany is a member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association and a member of the Professional Association of Resume Writers and Career Coaches.

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25 Years Of Healing: How Six Columbine Survivors Found Life After Trauma

From EMDR therapy to “sad-mom playlists,” these women have found a path through the darkness.

It was nearing the end of spring term. The seniors had just gone to prom. Students were busy preparing for final exams and the long summer break. They walked through the halls of their beloved school, absorbed in all the usual joys and concerns that come with the ending of the school year. Then, suddenly, their lives changed forever.

Twenty-five years ago, on April 20, 1999, two gunmen shot and killed 12 students and a teacher at a high school in Littleton, Colorado. Twenty-four other students were physically injured during the attack at Columbine High School, but the invisible wounds inflicted on the entire school community—and their families—defy measurement.

Essays From The Survivors:

But the effects did not extend only to those on the scene. The number of people affected by a mass shooting is “astronomical,” says Jillian Peterson, PhD, a forensic psychologist and executive director of the Violence Prevention Project Research Center, a nonpartisan, nonprofit gun-violence research center. In communities where a shooting took place, “you see higher levels of PTSD or acute stress reactions in people who weren't on the scene—who just identify with that community,” she says. “It’s shocking, the number of people impacted. And in many ways, we’re all impacted. When you have events like Columbine, they hit us on a national level.”

Trauma doesn’t remain within geographical boundaries either—it can trace along identity-group lines that extend far beyond the incident’s location, says Abigail Hurst, director of Trauma-Informed Programs at Everytown for Gun Safety . For example: The 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando had ripple effects across the broader LGBTQ community, and the El Paso Walmart shooting in 2019 had a similar impact on Latinx people, she says.

Additionally, mass shootings like Columbine end up getting replayed in the 24-hour news cycle, which seems to have a different traumatic effect, though more research into that is needed. “Columbine had such a profound impact. It hit right when 24/7 cable news was taking off, so the coverage was just constant,” Peterson says.

Survivors’ mental and emotional responses in the wake of gun violence vary significantly from person to person. But in the immediate aftermath, one in three survivors lives in fear and feels unsafe, a 2023 research report from Everytown for Gun Safety found. They also experience things like hypervigilance, numbness, paranoia, anxiety , and depression , says Hurst. Sometimes, those responses can last for decades. “It is very hard for people to truly understand the depth and the breadth of how trauma from gun violence can change [a person],” Hurst says.

Two and a half decades have passed since that spring morning in Colorado, but many people are still battling the aftereffects. Therapy, advocacy, loved ones, support groups, and sometimes medication have all helped with healing. As survivor after survivor told Women’s Health , the pain never goes away, but you adapt. You learn to live a full, joyful life with that pain.

It’s important to note that therapy and trauma counseling looked a lot different in the late nineties and early aughts as well. There was more stigma, fewer resources for survivors. So, for the six women here, the years immediately following the shooting were focused mostly on putting one foot in front of the other, trying to convince themselves, “I’m fine. I’m okay.” Healing—which is a continuous journey, they all say—came later. (Two of the women sought out mental health treatment only after becoming parents.)

“We’ve gotten, in some ways, much more comfortable in the last 25 years talking about mental health, talking about trauma, reducing the stigma around it,” says Peterson. “There’s a lot more awareness. A lot more language about it.”

Each woman here has dedicated her life to service to others—whether through helping young people, supporting other survivors, caring for children with special needs, or advocating for change at a national level. A few became teachers. One became a therapist. All have committed to sharing their stories, whether through public speeches or interviews, in hopes that they can educate people and be a resource to those who might be struggling. Every single one of them says that turning their pain into power—through advocacy work, public speaking, and connecting with survivors—has been one of the strongest therapies they’ve found for their trauma.

“Sometimes, survivors can also be the ones who can push us forward,” Peterson says.

Amy Over was a senior at Columbine when she hid under a cafeteria table and was able to safely evacuate with other students thanks to her basketball and track coach, Dave Sanders. She now works as a paraeducator for children with special needs and founded Survivor’s Path, which brings speeches about trauma recovery and mental health to audiences across the country. Her own kids are graduating from high school this year and will be heading to their senior prom this spring.

At 43, I feel like I’ve really come into my own. I was telling my husband recently that I feel really happy in my life right now. I feel strong, physically, and I’m taking care of my mental health. I feel at peace and grounded. I also feel like I found a new purpose, working with special needs kiddos as a paraeducator. It’s a physically demanding job, but I enjoy it, and it’s good for me to always be moving.

Last week I did my first lockdown drill at school. That was very, very triggering for me. My boss was with me, and she was holding my hand, telling me, “Everything is going to be okay—you’ve got this.” But I came home and I was emotionally and physically exhausted.

The shooting was a few days after my senior prom, so there’s the “pre- Amy” and the “after Columbine Amy.” I was in the cafeteria under a table. My basketball and track coach essentially saved my life—and thousands of other lives—because he told us when to run for the doors.

In the immediate aftermath, it was just so overwhelming. I didn’t know what to do. That June, my mom scheduled a couple of therapy sessions, because we got a few for free. I lost my ever-loving mind with one of the counselors. She had started asking me really triggering questions about the shooting, and I wasn’t in a place to answer them. I became so enraged that I snapped—and ended up throwing a vase at her. I had so much anger. And from there, I kind of just coped with alcohol and partying.

PTSD creeps and seeps in years later. Mine appeared when I became a parent. I met my husband at 19. We got married at 21, and I had my daughter, Brie, at 24. I was a young mom trying to send my daughter to preschool and I was just like, “how is she going to be safe?” It wasn’t about me anymore—it was about keeping my kids safe, and mass shootings just kept happening. I remember when Sandy Hook happened, my son was a baby and my daughter was in first grade. I was on a trip with my husband in New York City. We were in Times Square, and I fell to my knees when I saw on the big screen what had happened. I called my nanny: “Where’s Brie? Where’s Masen?” I just panicked.

I started feeling like I was having a heart attack every day, and I began having night terrors. I wasn’t sleeping. I was just in a really bad cycle. And it wasn’t until then that I decided, “hey, I need help. I’m drowning.”

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My husband helped me get on medication and found this amazing therapist—a Columbine teacher and counselor from back in the day. He knew my coach and all my peers. He was also on the forefront of EMDR therapy [eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, which is supposed to help reprocess traumatic memories ]. I’m proud to say that I haven’t had a panic attack in years.

These days, I have tools in my toolbox that help me. I still do check-ins with a new therapist once a month. I make sure I sleep enough and drink enough water—that I’m taking care of my basic needs. And I also exercise every day—it’s just part of my mental health [routine]. I kickbox, I run, I do races and challenges and goat yoga. I hike and fish. I walk around my neighborhood. I still box and train with a pro boxer. It empowers me. That anger is still there, and this is a safe way for me to take out my sadness and anxiety. It’s just fun and keeps my mind active.

My kids are graduating from high school this spring, and I’m just beyond proud of them. I’m really looking forward to celebrating. But [this time] has also been challenging: My kids will be going to their senior prom soon, and that was the last time I was “normal Amy”—at my senior prom 25 years ago. It was such a magical time in my life. And Columbine was such an amazing school. So that’s going to be tough. The shooting is something that I’m not over—I’m over coming . I’m still getting through this.

I tell my story not to make people sad, but to give them hope. I talk about Columbine because I want to talk about how I got through the nitty-gritty parts, and how I’m going to continue to take care of myself and others around me.

Heather Martin Egeland

Heather turned 18 two days after the mass shooting at Columbine. After the Aurora theater shooting in 2012, Heather and another Columbine survivor, Jennifer Hammer, cofounded The Rebels Project, a nonpartisan nonprofit organization named for the Columbine High School mascot, which helps survivors of mass shootings connect and find services. Heather is still the executive director and also a high school English teacher and the yearbook advisor.

The year mark—and the days leading up to it—are always weird. They’re always funky and difficult in different, sometimes unexpected, ways. And major moments in my healing journey—which has centered on peer support, advocacy, and starting trauma therapy—are also very closely tied to the big round-number year marks.

Ten years after the shooting at Columbine, I realized I wanted to become a teacher. That’s where I belonged. That was the space for me. And I don’t know if I would have become the teacher I am today if not for the events of April 20, 1999. I think I’m a better teacher because of my recovery journey.

I struggled so badly in college that I just eventually failed out. I started working in the restaurant business, but at the 10-year mark, I reconnected with all my classmates, and I decided to step down from my restaurant management role and go back to school. I finished my bachelor’s degree and got my teaching license.

While filming a documentary, [the crew] wanted to film some B-roll and asked if I would flip through my old yearbook. I hadn’t looked at it in years, and as I was flipping through, I saw that my high school English teacher had written, “I hope you major in English and become a teacher. Your students would love you.” I had apparently told my English teacher that I wanted to be a teacher, but I had totally forgotten because, well, trauma. We had graduated about a month after the shooting and, as seniors, never went back to that school.

It also took me 10 years to recognize and own the title of “survivor.” I was physically uninjured, and I wasn’t in the library. I really minimized my trauma and my experience. I was always making excuses to myself about why I shouldn’t be traumatized—because so many others had it worse, had experienced and seen worse. I felt like my trauma was not bad enough to warrant what I was feeling inside and the nightmares I was having. But at the 10-year mark, I was invited back to the school and finally got together with the Class of 1999, and I found out that I wasn’t alone in my struggles. What I was feeling was totally normal, and that peer support was a game changer for me.

I’d tried therapy one year after the shooting. Looking back, I’m really proud of my sweet little 19-year-old self, because I knew something wasn’t right. Fascinatingly, though, I didn’t think it was because of the shooting. “It’s been a whole year,” I’d tell myself—and that’s horrifying that I thought that and was putting that kind of pressure on myself. I thought it was because I was in college, dealing with whatever college kids dealt with. But I was dropping out of classes, and I knew something was wrong.

Thirteen years after the shooting, we started The Rebels Project. Another classmate and survivor, Jennifer Hammer, texted me a day after the Aurora theater shooting in 2012: “What do you think about starting a support group for survivors of mass shootings?” And I told her, “I’m in.” Two days later, we had an online platform up and running. We were desperate to help because when these events happen, it really amplifies the helplessness that I felt the day of the shooting. It’s very triggering and brings about really big emotions. This was a way that we could help, that we could give back.

Now, people find out about The Rebels Project through word of mouth—we’ve been around a long time, we’re established, and we’re trusted. And if Columbine is any indicator, we know our services are, unfortunately, going to be needed at least 25 years down the road.

“It’s important that other survivors know that trauma is not a competition. It’s not about who suffered more and who struggled more and who experienced more.”

At the 20-year mark, I finally started trauma therapy—like actual trauma therapy, where I did EMDR and brainspotting [therapy using spots in a person’s visual field to help them process trauma]. I had been on a planning committee for the 20-year mark and was connecting for the first time with victims’ families—and I found that I was not okay. So, I went to trauma therapy pretty extensively for about a year and a half, and now I go back a couple times a year—typically in March and April, when the year mark is approaching.

I think this year mark is going to be difficult. I say that out loud right now, knowing that next week, I’ll have a meltdown about something and I won’t know why until my husband says, “It’s April.” And I’ll say, “Oh, yeah.” I can still sometimes feel angry when I’m triggered, similar to my feelings in the months after the shooting. But now I recognize it for what it is and have learned that I don’t need to—nor should I—watch coverage of new [shooting] events. My bounce-back time is much shorter.

I would go back in half a heartbeat and change the events of that day if I could. I am also extremely proud of the person I am today, and that probably is because of how I reacted and grew in the aftermath. It took—and is still taking—time, but 25 years out, I’m just so much better and have overcome a lot.

It’s important that other survivors know that trauma is not a competition. It’s not about who suffered more and who struggled more and who experienced more. Your experience and your story are valid and real. Your trauma matters, and your experience matters, and you matter. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to still be impacted. I am of course still impacted 25 years later, but it definitely gets better.

Missy Mendo

Fourteen-year-old Missy Mendo was in math class at Columbine when she heard the shooting start. She and her classmates evacuated to a park across the street where the perpetrators began shooting at them. After immediately relocating to the East Coast after high school, Missy eventually headed back to Colorado. These days, Missy works for the state of Colorado in the department of regulatory agencies and is director of community outreach for The Rebels Project.

I heard this saying once: “You never know that your experience could become somebody else’s playbook.” And these days, the ability to help someone else who may be going through something similar to what I’ve gone through—especially another mom—makes me feel strong and empowered. Talking to other survivors has helped me significantly. I say this all the time: A hug from another survivor is totally different than a hug from somebody trying to console you. It’s an unwritten understanding. They get it.

When The Rebels Project first started after the Aurora theater shooting in 2012, I couldn’t get involved because I was living on the East Coast. But I ended up moving back to Colorado, and I showed up to a silent auction the group was holding. By the end of the night, I had accepted a job as their assistant director of fundraising. It was at that point that I started to really get to know other communities of survivors—helping them connect. Now, I’ve been director of community outreach for almost six years.

Twenty-five years ago, mental health wasn’t exactly a thing. The county offered us six free therapy sessions [after the shooting], but it’s not like you could pick and choose therapists. I got a marriage and family therapist who was much older, and she and I didn’t jive very well. We weren’t a good match. At the end, I just thought, Okay, I did my six weeks, I’m okay , and then spent the next 20 years with no therapy whatsoever. No support groups, no therapy, nothing—just figuring it out on my own.

“Twenty-five years ago, mental health wasn’t exactly a thing.”

After the shooting, my sleep pattern immediately changed—I wasn’t sleeping. My brain wouldn’t shut off. I got in the habit of sleeping with the television on because it helped with the silence in my head. The news outlets kept repeating everything [about the shooting], so I started watching ESPN. I ran cross country and played soccer, and sports was the one thing that didn’t talk about what was going on in my life.

One of the hardest things to understand is that I have an unseen injury. When I read The Body Keeps the Score [by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD], I had to put the book down because it showed scans of what your brain looks like with anxiety, during a panic attack, and when you’re distressed. For the first time, I could physically see my injury—it was nonexistent until that point. The processing that took place in the days after, before I could continue to read the book, was just hard. I am getting goosebumps talking about it now.

When I started working for The Rebels Project, I put so much pressure on myself to say the right things to these communities, to do the right thing and make the right suggestions. I was afraid any mistake would set them back emotionally or retraumatize them. And I realized: If I’m seeing the same things in myself that these other people are going through, and they’re in therapy… I don’t want to project this onto my child; I want to set her up for success in this world as much as I possibly can. And I’ve been in therapy now for over four years.

The toughest connections I make are with other parents who say, “My kid just went through this. They have to go back to school, but we’re having a really hard time. I don’t know what to do.” It’s the hardest [question] to answer because how do I tell a mom that I’m 25 years out and I’m still struggling? How do you tell them there’s no quick fix to this? You can’t tell them that there’s going to be severe challenges their entire life, and you can’t tell them that everything is going to be okay. In the 25 years that I’ve been a survivor, I have never met another survivor that was like, “Yep, I’m good. No problems.”

The trajectory of my life completely changed that day at Columbine. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that I have the capability of letting somebody else know that they’re not alone in the world, and make them feel like they have a support system. I’ve noticed a change in myself: I’ve come to realize that even though you are a tiny speck on this planet, you can still make a difference.

Michelle Wheeler

Michelle Wheeler was a senior at Columbine when the shooting occurred. She was in the choir room and hid in the auditorium until she could evacuate the school. Ninety-six bullets passed her body as she fled the building. She worked for nearly two decades as a preschool teacher before becoming an instructional coach at district schools, helping preschoolers through trauma and crisis. After spending time at The Rebels Project, she now works with Survivor’s Path, speaking to audiences about trauma recovery and mental health. She is still married to her college sweetheart, who unknowingly saved her life when he asked her out on a first date.

When I work with parents of survivors, I try to have them understand that their kids are not going to be the same as they were the day before. That child is dead, I tell them, and you need to grieve the loss of the child you once had and learn to love and understand the child you have now. Because we do change. And we are angry. And we’re going to take it out on the people that we love the most, because they’re the safest. That child is going to be different in school. If they’re an athlete, they’re going to be different at their sport. They’re just going to be different. Their brain has changed, and there’s really no going back to the person they were. But there’s also so much joy and triumph in the person they will become. It takes time, and it’s a very rocky road, but you will get there.

In high school, I was the class clown. School was hard for me. I don’t know if I would have had the same life if I hadn’t gone through what I did. I think I would have been a teacher, but I don’t know that I’d have worked with the population [of kids] that I work with now. I grieved the person [I was on] April 19, 1999, many, many years ago, and have let go of who she could have been. I worked on understanding who I was after April 20, 1999—loving the awkwardness and the dark humor and the sadness and the celebrations. It took many, many years to accept who I am.

I was upstairs in the choir room when the shooting began, and hid in the auditorium for what seemed like forever—but I think it was only a couple minutes. When I exited the school, about 96 bullets passed my body. None hit me, thank God. I made it out of the school probably 10 or 15 minutes after everything started.

I was a senior at the time, and I went straight to college the next year. Now that I look back on it, I can see [my] patterns of destruction. I was drinking alcohol. I had a lot of anger issues. I liked the thrill of trying to get away with things and made poor decisions that could have put me in danger, because I felt this invincibility—like, this [mass shooting] happened, I can survive anything. But when we had our first fire drill in college, I hit the ground. I panicked. And I remember thinking, This is really weird. There’s something wrong with my heart .

It wasn’t until my third year [of college] that I hit rock bottom. I was—unconsciously, but consciously—saving medication to kill myself. I just didn’t have any feeling in my body; I felt numb. Nothing excited me. I thought, Well, if this is life, this isn’t worth living . I had a plan. But the night I chose to do it, my now husband asked me out on our first date, and I finally felt something different. (We kept going out on dates, and have now been married for 20 years.)

That was my turning point. That was my realization that I wasn’t well and that I needed help. So, I went to therapy, and have done extensive therapy since then, including four rounds of EMDR, which has helped me process the sounds and the smells and the tastes I experienced in my flashbacks. I was lucky to find my husband when I was fresh in my trauma because it meant I didn’t have to explain that I was a Columbine survivor, and that I don’t like loud sounds or blue lights. That I hate balloons and black trench coats.

“I needed people who love me and support me, who may not have been through what I’ve gone through, but who can sit with me on dark nights.”

But I wish I’d had family connection and support after the shooting [to help process the trauma]. I’m the baby of seven kids, and there’s a 16-year difference between me and the next oldest. And I just didn’t have that family support. I didn’t have anybody to go to the funerals with me. I didn’t have anybody I could process my trauma with. After the shooting, I went to my boyfriend’s parent’s house, then to my sister’s. And when I got to her house, my mom met me at the door with a bottle of Jack and said, “We’re never going to talk about this. If you talk about it, you’re letting the perpetrators win.” Obviously, that is horrible advice. I love my mother to death, she’s a wonderful mother, but I don’t know that she could mentally handle what I went through. I honestly think it’s a generational thing.

It wasn’t until I met my husband, and experienced that love and bond, that I realized I needed people in my corner. I needed people who love me and support me, who may not have been through what I’ve gone through, but who can sit with me on dark nights and help me through a nightmare, or walk my path with me on the day that marks the shooting every year. Someone who can understand my triggers and know when to say, “Oh, we gotta go.” I have now surrounded myself with a survivor community and created my own family that I can call when I’m in crisis. Without them, I don’t know where I’d be. I don’t even know if I’d be here.

Suicide is a scary topic, but it’s important to talk about. We lost many friends to suicide after Columbine. And now that I have come out and talked more about it these past few years, I’ve had a lot of people come up to me after panel discussions, saying, “Oh my gosh, I have felt the same way.” So, I know by talking about the hard stuff, it’s going to make a difference.

[Trauma recovery] is not an easy road. But it’s not always hard. You will find love. You will have children. (That will have its own difficulties!) But you will figure out how to manage life with your trauma. It never goes away, but you learn to live with it. You learn that some days, you can do hard things, and some days you can’t. And that’s okay.

Coni Sanders

Coni Sanders was 24 when her father, beloved Columbine teacher and coach Dave Sanders, was shot and killed while trying to lead students to safety from the school’s cafeteria. Today, she honors her father and his memory through her life’s work, helping people convicted of violent crimes “find peace and live nonviolent lives.” She still lives in Littleton, Colorado, and is expecting another grandchild this year.

I’m a forensic therapist. For almost 20 years, I’ve worked with people who have committed violent crime or related harm in their communities. Working with them is such an honor. It feels really empowering when I see so many successes—see people doing the work to change their path and live nonviolent lives. Over the years, it feels less connected to Columbine and more like, “this is where I’m meant to be.” Most of my clients don’t know my story—it’s not something I openly share because I don’t want to take the focus off of them. And while I’m pretty Google-able, [my history] is kind of my secret superpower. This is where I carry on my father’s legacy by helping the struggling to find a path.

When my dad, teacher and coach Dave Sanders, was killed at Columbine High School, I was 24 years old, working at the local phone company. I was rebellious at the time and hadn’t gone to college (even though my dad wanted me to) and feeling a bit lost in my life overall. After the shooting, it felt like I was in a dream—there’s a fog and a haze [over my memories]. It was unreal. I remember the details, but I don’t remember feeling anything.

At the time, I worked in the Denver Post building, and reporters would just stop by my workplace to talk about the shooting. I had to change jobs because I just wanted to hide, to have some semblance of normalcy. I was convinced I was fine and didn’t need therapy. Everyone kept telling me “be strong,” so I was trying to do that. I tried to be tough. I wish I understood that I didn’t have to be strong; it’s not realistic that someone could “be strong” in that situation without significant support from others.

Three years later, I was driving down the highway and “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”—the version sung by Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwoʻole—came on, and I went back into that numb state. I pulled over, got out of my car, and went and sat in a ditch. And I just cried and cried and cried. When I got back in my car, I started driving really fast. And I realized I needed help.

When you’re a secondary or tertiary victim, it can feel like you don’t belong with other survivors. But these traumatic events are a wound for the entire community. That wound is seeing the people you care about suffer, the media coverage, the terror.

“When you’re a secondary or tertiary victim, it can feel like you don’t belong with other survivors. But these traumatic events are a wound for the entire community.”

Three years ago, we were cleaning out my mom’s basement and found the box of evidence. It had everything—his body bag, his bloody clothes—and we all just froze. We thought mom had the police department destroy everything. It was so horrifying, and the wounds just burst open. I went and found a therapist. “I can’t manage this,” I told them.

Twenty-five years doesn’t stop the hurt. It never stops. Even right now, my whole body will go numb, my breathing changes, and I have to remind myself that I’m okay. I do grounding techniques and try to stay in the present. I sometimes hold ice cubes to help bring me back into my body. When you suffer a trauma this deep, it’s always going to be there. I’ve been in this fight longer than most people who are surviving gun violence, but it’s a less lonely journey now because so many people have traveled this never-ending path. [After a mass shooting], you step onto this path not knowing where it’s going to go. I can tell you that you’re going to fall, you’re going to get bruised. You’re going to feel lost and numb and frustrated. But you’ll also find people along that path who have experienced the same thing, who care, who are advocating for change. There’s a wide network of supporters you can really lean on.

My daughter is about to have a baby, and my dad’s not here. He was such a wonderful grandpa, and some of my grandkids aren’t going to get to experience that. I remember when I turned the same age he was when he died, I kept thinking, Oh my gosh, he had so much more life to live . And I went numb again.

Someone left a pair of shoes at the memorial, and it says, “Coach, in these shoes, you gave me wisdom. In these shoes, you made me an athlete. In these shoes, you made me a champion. In these shoes, you made me a man. My love to you, Class of ’96.” People still come up to me to tell me my dad saved generations when he saved hundreds of kids in the cafeteria. “He saved my life, and now I have a baby,” one person told me. “And my baby will one day have a baby.”

Salli Garrigan

Salli Garrigan, 16, was in the choir room when the shooting at Columbine began. Now, she has two kids—a 9-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son—and finds her strength through telling her own story. Salli is now a volunteer with Moms Demand Action and a Senior Fellow with the Everytown Survivor Network.

I loved high school. I was a truly normal teenager—if you want to call a choir-theater kid normal, which I do! I was excited to be part of the pom squad.

In the immediate aftermath, I felt a kind of grief amnesia. I was in a haze, and everything just felt fuzzy. When I look back, everything just kind of goes white, like a weird dream. I don’t truly remember things that happened during that time. We went through the motions: going to funerals, going to the hospital.

Our rival high school opened its doors to us, we got handmade blankets from Project Linus, the first responders made potpourri from the flowers at the memorial—and that outpouring was therapeutic. The community came together; the world was with us. [Knowing] that helped a lot. We had a “taking back our school” rally the next year. It felt good to be back, even though our library was taped off—it was still a crime scene—and we’d have to walk by that every day. But getting one last year with everyone, to sit in familiar classrooms again, was so helpful. We were able to make new memories, which was really important. Bringing our choir back together—and singing again—was great, great therapy.

Back then, I didn’t consider myself a survivor. I wasn’t physically injured, so I always thought, Okay, I’m fine . I wasn’t fine, and looking back now, I get that I had PTSD. Even though I didn’t know what I needed at the time, I was lucky because I found outlets like theater and singing with friends—outlets, like dancing, that were healthy. Onstage, I could pretend I was something I wasn’t. I was able to tell someone else’s story and not my own. I could hide. It was a wonderful escape. I ended up getting a degree in musical theater and moved to New York, where I went on tours and did a lot of regional theater. I never sought out therapy, but looking back, I should have. In the ’90s, therapy seemed like you failed, which is so silly [to think] now, but at the time, there was this weird stigma.

“Back then, I didn’t consider myself a survivor. I wasn’t physically injured, so I always thought, Okay, I’m fine . I wasn’t fine, and looking back now, I get that I had PTSD.”

For a long time, I didn’t tell my story. But then the Parkland school shooting happened in 2018—it was eerily similar to what happened at the Columbine shooting—and that made me realize I needed to do something. I saw the kids calling themselves survivors, and I realized I could be a survivor. The Parkland kids weren’t trusting the adults [who were saying it would never happen again]. They were speaking out, and I had a moment of thinking, Why didn’t we speak out? At this point, my daughter had been born and I was pregnant with my son, and I was starting to realize my children are going to go to school, and they will see a whole different school day. I have a lot of guilt because lockdown drills happen because of our school. Because nothing changed after the Columbine shooting.

Around that time, I started getting involved in Moms Demand Action and the Everytown Survivor Network , and advocacy became an incredible coping mechanism. It was the first time I actually opened up, and it was very therapeutic to call myself a survivor, to share my story. I have [developed] other great coping mechanisms too: a sad-mom playlist that I listen to, or if I’m angry, I take a long walk so I don’t lash out at my family. It’s a lifelong grief—and you’ll be grieving in different ways, even 25 years later. You just don’t know how it will hit you. So, it’s okay to take a step back, feel all the feelings.

My daughter was with me when I was speaking out a lot about this [gun violence prevention] in D.C., so she has an idea of what happened. I tell her, “I'm working hard to keep the guns out of the hands of bad guys, so you can feel safe at school. You do the lockdown drills, you do all these things, and we’re working on it.” But I have moments where I give my kids extra-big hugs when I say goodbye to them. I want them to ask their own questions and feel what they want to feel. But it’s hard to ask, “How was your lockdown drill today?” I just wish it had stopped with us.

The six essays were condensed and edited for clarity, and were as told to Currie Engel.

Currie Engel is the news and features editor at Women's Health. She loves working on zeitgeisty news, culture, mental health, and reproductive rights stories. When she's not editing stories, she's writing them—one of her essays was recognized as a National Magazine Award finalist in 2023. Currie previously worked as an award-winning local reporter specializing in health investigations and features, and as a researcher at Time magazine.  

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Gig workers are writing essays for AI to learn from

• Companies are hiring highly educated gig workers to write training content for AI models .
• The shift toward more sophisticated trainers comes as tech giants scramble for new data sources.
• AI could run out of data to learn from by 2026, one research institute has warned. 

As artificial intelligence models run out of data to train themselves on, AI companies are increasingly turning to actual humans to write training content.

For years, companies have used gig workers to help train AI models on simple tasks like photo identification , data annotation, and labelling. But the rapidly advancing technology now requires more advanced people to train it.

Companies such as Scale AI and Surge AI are hiring part-timers with graduate degrees to write essays and creative prompts for the bots to gobble up, The New York Times reported . Scale AI, for example, posted a job last year looking for people with Master's degrees or PhDs, who are fluent in either English, Hindi, or Japanese and have professional writing experience in fields like poetry, journalism, and publishing.

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Their mission? To help AI bots "become better writers," Scale AI wrote in the posting.

And an army of workers are needed to do this kind of work. Scale AI has as many as tens of thousands of contractors working on its platform at a time, per the Times.

"What really makes the A.I. useful to its users is the human layer of data, and that really needs to be done by smart humans and skilled humans and humans with a particular degree of expertise and a creative bent," Willow Primack, the vice president of data operations at Scale AI, told the New York Times. "We have been focusing on contractors, particularly within North America, as a result."

The shift toward more sophisticated gig trainers comes as tech giants scramble to find new data to train their technology on. That's because the programs learn so incredibly fast that they're already running out of available resources to learn from. The vast trove of online information — everything from scientific papers to news articles to Wikipedia pages — is drying up.

Epoch, an AI research institute, has warned that AI could run out of data by 2026.

So, companies are finding more and more creative ways to make sure their systems never stop learning. Google has considered accessing its customers' data in Google Docs , Sheets, and Slides while Meta even thought about buying publishing house Simon & Schuster to harvest its book collection, Business Insider previously reported.

Watch: Nearly 50,000 tech workers have been laid off — but there's a hack to avoid layoffs

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Esther Perel on What the Other Woman Knows

The relationship expert reads one of the most controversial modern love essays ever published..

This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and email [email protected] with any questions.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

From “The New York Times,” I’m Anna Martin. This is “Modern Love.” Today, I’m talking to the most famous couples therapist in the world, Esther Perel. Esther’s books, “Mating in Captivity” and “State of Affairs,” have forced so many of us, myself included, to rethink our assumptions about love. Like maybe it’s unrealistic to expect the passion and fire we feel at the beginning of a relationship to last forever. And when one partner cheats on the other, what if it could actually bring the couple closer, instead of tearing them apart?

On her podcast, “Where Should We Begin,” Esther lets us eavesdrop on sessions with real couples. People come to her with impossible problems, and she somehow guides them to a breakthrough. She gives them hope. When I listen to Esther’s podcast, I feel like I’m getting a free therapy session, so I wasn’t surprised in the slightest when she told me that people come up to her in public all the time and ask her deeply personal questions.

The grocery store is one place, but airplanes is even better.

Oh, no, Esther. If I were you, I’d be really scared to fly.

[LAUGHS]: They’re suspended in the air, and they tell you lots of things. And it is often about, can trust be repaired when it’s been broken? Can you bring a spark back when it’s gone? Can you rekindle desire when it’s been dormant for so long? What do you do when you’re angry at yourself for having stayed when you think you should have left? Or what do you do when you’re angry at yourself when you’ve left and now you think you should have stayed?

You’re like, I’m just at the grocery store, man. I need to check out.

Clearly, people are struggling so much to be happy in long-term relationships that they’re cornering this woman basically everywhere she goes. And these things people ask Esther about, they’re exactly the kinds of high-stakes, make-or-break questions that come up in the essay she chose for our show today. It’s called “What Sleeping with Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity,” by Karin Jones.

Karin’s essay was one of the most controversial pieces ever published in the history of the “Modern Love” column. But when it comes to talking about sex and relationships, nothing is too taboo for Esther.

Esther Perel, welcome to “Modern Love.”

It’s a pleasure to be here.

So you’re going to read Karin Jones’s “Modern Love” essay. We’re going to talk all about infidelity. But before we get into that, I learned something about you that I need to know more about. You are fluent in nine languages. And you conduct therapy in seven of them? Is that true?

Yes. So I grew up in Belgium, in the Flemish part of Belgium, and I was educated in Flemish for 12 years. But we also spoke French and German and Polish and Yiddish at home.

So we had five languages in the house. And then I studied Spanish, Portuguese, Hebrew, and English. That comes to nine.

Would you ever do one more just to bring it to a solid 10?

I always wanted to study Arabic.

OK, in your free time, in your ample free time.

Are there certain languages that have better vocabulary for talking about the nuances of love and relationships than others?

That is a very difficult question to answer because my love language, the language in which I learned poetry, songs, novels, et cetera, was primarily French. And so, of course, I would say French. But that may be because I was inducted in it, rather than the language itself. What I can say is that certain cultures are more fluent in the language of feelings, love, relationships, and desire and sexuality than maybe English or Anglo cultures that are more pragmatic, more practical.

I think in therapy, sometimes, I find that there is certain cultures that allow me to speak differently about death, differently about the relationship of the individual to the collective. What I will say is this. In a therapy session, if a person tells me something and it needs to be said in his own language, I will ask them to translate it and to say it in their mother tongue, because you hear instantly the difference, the tone, the timber, the tremble.

And I know it. It’s like, I don’t even have to understand what they’re saying. I know that there is an authenticity and a truth to it that is very different. Sometimes, afterwards, I say, what did you say? But sometimes, I don’t even need to. I know when they say, “I feel alone,” “I ache for you,” “I miss you,” “where have you gone,” “I can’t forget you.” You don’t really need to understand the words to understand the effect.

Esther, the “Modern Love” essay you’re going to read for us today tackles a topic that I bet is very hard to talk about in almost any language. It’s called “What Sleeping with Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity” by Karin Jones. The author Karin is recently divorced, and she becomes the other woman to several men.

When I read that title, I kind of expect this story is going to be about all the sex she’s having or the secrets or how they’re hiding it. But you’ve worked with so many couples who are in the throes of dealing with cheating. So what does the word “infidelity” signal to you?

I wrote a book about infidelity. So I will say that one of my attempts in writing this book was to translate in writing the complexity of this experience that can be so shattering, that can fracture a family and an entire legacy. It needs more than just good, bad, victim, perpetrator, villain, saint. That there’s too much happening and for too many people that are involved to try to reduce it.

Infidelity is often about a lot of things, but sex. It’s about betrayal. It’s about violation of trust. It’s about lying. It’s about duplicity. It’s about deception. And sex is a piece of this, but that is not necessarily the only thing.

Oof. Esther, I am so excited to hear you read this. Whenever you’re ready.

OK. “What Sleeping with Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity” by Karin Jones.

“I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaison with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion. Not between the wives and me, though I would be interested to hear their side. No, this discussion should happen between wives and husbands annually, the way we inspect the tire tread on the family car to avoid accidents.

A few years ago, while living in London, I dated married men for companionship while I processed the grief of being newly divorced.

When I created a profile on Tinder and on OkCupid saying I was looking for no strings attached encounters, plenty of single men messaged me, and I got together with several of them. But many married men messaged me, too.

After being married for 23 years, I wanted sex, but not a relationship. This is dicey because you can’t always control emotional attachments when body chemicals mix. But with the married man, I guess that the fact that they had wives, children, and mortgages would keep them from going overboard with their affections. And I was right. They didn’t get overly attached, and neither did I. We were safe bets for each other.

I was careful about the men I met. I wanted to make sure they had no interest in leaving their wives or otherwise threatening all they had built together. In a couple of cases, the men I met were married to women who had become disabled and could no longer be sexual, but the husbands remained devoted to them.

All told, I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life. I had sex with fewer than half. Others, I texted or talked with, which sometimes felt nearly as intimate. Before I met each man, I would ask, why are you doing this? I wanted assurance that all he desired was sex. What surprised me was that these husbands weren’t looking to have more sex. They were looking to have any sex.

I met one man whose wife had implicitly consented to her husband having a lover because she was no longer interested in sex at all. They both, to some degree, got what they needed without having to give up what they wanted. But the other husbands I met would have preferred to be having sex with their wives, and for whatever reason, that wasn’t happening.

I know what it feels like to go off sex, and I know what it’s like to want more than my partner. It’s also a tall order to have sex with the same person for more years than our ancestors ever hoped to live. Then, at menopause, a woman’s hormones suddenly drop, and her desire can wane. At 49, I was just about there myself and terrified of losing my desire for sex. Men don’t have this drastic change, so we have an imbalance, an elephant-sized problem so burdensome and shameful, we can scarcely muster the strength to talk about it.

If you read the work of Esther Perel, the author of the book ‘State of Affairs,’ you’ll learn that for many wives, sex outside of marriage is their way of breaking free from being the responsible spouses and mothers they have to be at home. Married sex for them often feels obligatory. An affair is adventure. Meanwhile, the husbands I spent time with would have been fine with obligatory sex. For them, adventure was not the main reason for their adultery.

The first time I saw my favorite married man pick up his pint of beer, the sleeve of his well-tailored suit pulled back from his wrist to reveal a geometric kaleidoscope of tattoos. He was clean shaven and well-mannered with a little rebel yell underneath. The night I saw the full canvas of his tattoo masterpiece, we drank prosecco, listened to ‘80s music, and, yes, had sex.

We also talked. I asked him, what if you said to your wife, look, I love you and the kids, but I need sex in my life? Can I just have the occasional fling or a casual affair? He sighed. If I asked her that kind of question, it would kill her, he said. So you don’t want to hurt her, but you lie to her instead? Personally, I’d rather know, I said.

It’s not necessarily a lie if you don’t confess the truth. It’s kind of to stay silent, he said. I’m just saying I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to be afraid of talking honestly about my sex life with the man I’m married to, and that includes being able to at least raise the subject of sex outside of marriage, I said. Good luck with that, he said.

I never convinced any husband that he can be honest about what he was doing, but they were mostly good-natured about it, like a patient father responding to a child who keeps asking why, why, why. Maybe I was being too pragmatic about the issues that are loaded with guilt, resentment, and fear. After all, it’s far easier to talk theoretically about marriage than to navigate it.

But my attitude is that if my spouse were to need something I couldn’t give him, I wouldn’t keep him from getting it elsewhere, as long as he did so in a way that didn’t endanger our family. I suppose I would hope his needs would involve fishing trips or beers with friends, but sex is basic.

Physical intimacy with other human beings is essential to our health and well-being. So how do we deny such a need to the one that we care about most? If our primary relationship nourishes and stabilizes us, but lacks intimacy, we shouldn’t have to destroy our marriage to get that intimacy somewhere else. Should we?

I didn’t have a full-on affair with the tattooed husband. We slept together maybe four times over a few years. More often, we talked on the phone. After our second night together, though, I could tell this was about more than sex for him. He was desperate for affection. He said he wanted to be close to his wife, but couldn’t because they were unable to get past their fundamental disconnect — lack of sex. That led to a lack of closeness, which made sex even less likely, and then turned into resentment and blame.

I’m not saying the answer is non-monogamy. That can be rife with risks and unintended entanglements. I believe the answer is honesty and dialogue, no matter how frightening. Lack of sex in marriage is common, and it shouldn’t lead to shame and silence. By the same token, an affair doesn’t have to lead to the end of a marriage. What if an affair, or ideally, simply, the urge to have one, can be the beginning of a necessary conversation about sex and intimacy?

What these husbands couldn’t do was have the difficult discussion with their wives that would force them to tackle the issues at the root of their cheating. They tried to convince me that they were being kind by keeping their affairs secret. They seemed to have convinced themselves. But deception and lying are ultimately corrosive, not kind.

In the end, I had to wonder if what these men couldn’t face was something else altogether — hearing why their wives no longer wanted to have sex with them. It’s much easier after all to set up an account on Tinder.”

Thanks so much for that reading, Esther. You know, it’s so funny because Karin Jones directly quotes you in her piece. And I feel like that is the first time ever we’ve had someone read an essay where they’re directly quoted.

Did anything jump out at you as you were reading?

What jumps out is she tackles a lot of different things — the subject of what is sexual aliveness, what is it that people actually lose when they stop being sexual with their partner, and how that loss of intimacy makes the sex even more complicated. She talked about the loss, the longing that this man has. I’ve often said that at the heart of affairs, you find duplicity and cheating and betrayal, but you also find longing and loss for the life that one had, for the parts of oneself that have been denied.

When we come back, I talk to Esther about the harsh criticism this essay got and why Esther thinks Karin Jones deserves more credit. Stay with us.

So Esther, this essay by Karin Jones was kind of a lightning rod when it was published. A ton of people were very critical of the author, saying she was sleeping with these men, but then also having conversations with them where she was like, it’s very wrong of you not to tell your wife what you’re up to. Why do you think this essay got so much backlash?

I think that the reaction to stories of infidelity are often intense. It’s a subject for which people are very quickly dogmatic because they have experienced the effects of it.

When I am in an audience, like if I was to ask, have you been affected by the experience of infidelity in your life, either because one of your parents was unfaithful or because you yourself had a child of an illicit affair, or because you had a friend on whose shoulder somebody weeping, or you had a confidant of someone who is in a complete bliss of an affair, or because you are the third person in the triangle, and about 80 percent of the people will raise their hand.

Wow. I mean, 80 percent sounds like a surprisingly large number, but when you explain it like that with different tendrils of an affair that affect everyone around the affair, not just the people in it, it makes total sense.

And it raises intense feelings in people. Karin Jones, she may have gotten the range of it, but you will hear more loudly the ones who say, you are a homewrecker, which, by the way, does not exist in the masculine.

Right, right.

The homewrecker is always a woman because the woman is the one who says yes, and therefore, if the woman hadn’t said yes, then he wouldn’t be able to do it. And then he would not be wrecking his family.

Yeah, there’s no other man either, by the way. It’s always the other woman.

Huh, there’s no other man.

Not in any of nine languages you speak.

No, because there’s never been another man who necessarily was willing to live in the shadow of a woman for his entire life.

That is so fascinating.

Her lover, [INAUDIBLE] you know her lover, but the other woman usually means that she lives in the shadow. She doesn’t just have a secret. She is the secret. That is the hardest thing about it. When people are writing to her, you can ask yourself, are they looking from the perspective of what it meant for her, or are they looking from the perspective of what it did to me, or to us?

Yeah, I mean, a lot of the criticism directed at Karin Jones, it seems, is coming from that perspective of saying, look what she did. Look at the harm she caused. Look at the pain she caused.

Which it is. Which it is.

Right, not discounting that, but it is interesting because her piece is so much about meaning making, right? That’s the whole conceit of her essay, is mining these experiences for meaning, and yet, people came with criticism. I wonder if this is like a kind of unfair question, but I wonder if there is an ethical way to be the other person. Is there a responsible way to do it without participating in hurt?

That depends. That depends. If you think the whole thing is unethical and is an egregious betrayal of trust and violation, then you will say no. I think the responsibility lies on the person who goes out, not on the lover.

Here’s what many people often say, is like, if you had asked me or if you had told me, but you made a decision without me. You made a decision about our marriage that did not involve me at all. And fair point. Of course, they know for a fact, too, that if they had been asked, they would have said no. But there is the things that you say after, and there is the things that you say before.

So, ultimately, I feel like I hear you agreeing with Karin Jones here that there are really important conversations that need to be happening between these husbands and their wives that actually don’t even have that much to do with Karin. Can you tell me more about that?

The conversation that Karin Jones would like these men to have with their wives is the conversations that take place in my book “Mating in Captivity,” because “Mating in Captivity” explored the dilemmas of desire inside relationships and why do people cease wanting. And could they want what they already have? And why does good sex fade, even in couples who still love each other as much as ever? And why do kids often deliver a fatal erotic blow?

What happens when they don’t have this conversation and they go elsewhere — and it’s not just a conversation about monogamy. It’s really a conversation of, what does sex mean to you? What do you want to experience in sex? Is it a place for connection?

Is it a place for transcendence, for spiritual union, to be naughty, to finally not be a good citizen, to be playful, to be taken care of, to surrender, to be safely dominant? What parts of you do you connect with through sexuality, rather than how often do we have sex, and we never have sex, and why don’t we do it more. So, that is a very different conversation.

But as Karin points to in her essay, and as you certainly point to in your book, those conversations are so difficult to have, even though this is the person we’re supposed to be the closest to. Why is that?

Because we grow up learning to be silent about sex and never talk about it. And then suddenly, we are expected to talk about it with the person we lov. Or in other words, sex is dirty, but save it for the one you love. It’s like we have very little practice talking about it.

We don’t get any of it in schools. Certainly, most families don’t talk about it either. And when we talk about sexuality, we talk about the dangers and the diseases and the dysfunctions. We don’t talk about intimacy. We don’t actually mix the word “sexuality” and “relationships” as one whole.

Yeah, and I mean, if we don’t talk about intimacy or the lack of it with a partner, that can, in some cases, lead to people going outside the marriage to find that intimacy they’re lacking in it. I’m thinking about Karin’s favorite married man, the one with all the tattoos. He says, it’s not necessarily a lie if you don’t confess the truth. It’s kinder to stay silent. In your experience working with couples, is he right? Is that true?

This is a very cultural question.

Because you live in a society here that believes in the moral cure of truth. But there are many societies for whom truth and honesty are not measured by the confession, but they are measured by what it will be like for the other person to walk with this on the street, meaning that they will consider the confession often as cruelty.

That, so what? So now you’ve got it off your chest. So now you’re less guilty, and now I have to live with this? Why don’t you just keep this to yourself, kind of thing. This is very cultural because in the United States, that is not the common view.

The common view is that the confession is the best state, even if you’re going to wreck the other person’s life for the next five years to come, which — and I am left with a question mark. But when I answer this question, I ask people about their own cultural codes as well. I do not impose mine. And mine fluctuates depending on the context. I think these questions are highly contextual, more than dogmatic.

We’ve talked about how there’s so many unsaid things between a couple that can lead to distance and infidelity. If a couple is feeling themselves drifting apart from each other emotionally, sexually, both, what are some things you could encourage them to do that might help?

Hmm. I like to coach people to do letter writing. Sometimes I make one person turn their back, and I make the other person write a letter on the back of the other person.

Oh, physically on the back?

Yes, but it’s a fake. You’re writing — you’re pretending to write, but you’re writing on the back. But that way, you don’t see the person.

Interesting.

Hi, Anna. This is something that I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time. And I give them the prompt. We never talk much about sexuality between us. For some reason, I decided a long time ago that you wouldn’t want to. But maybe it was I who didn’t know how to. And basically, they write these whole letters, in which they end up telling each other much of what they have never spoken.

I love that. What a kind and beautiful and compassionate way of easing into a conversation you’ve been afraid of having. Esther Perel, thank you so much for that idea. And thank you for talking with me today.

Thank you for having me.

Esther Perel is on tour in the US right now. Her show is called An Evening with Esther Perel, The Future of Relationships, Love, and Desire. Check her website for more details and to buy tickets. She told me she’s going to create an erotic experience in these theaters, so you do not want to miss that.

“Modern Love” is produced by Julia Botero, Chrstina Djossa, Reva Goldberg, Davis Land, and Emily Lange. It’s edited by our executive producer Jen Poyant and Davis Land. The “Modern Love” theme music is by Dan Powell. Original music by Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Pat McCusker, Rowan Niemisto, Carole Sabouraud, and Diane Wong.

This episode was mixed by Daniel Ramirez. Our show was recorded by Maddy Masiello. Digital production by Mahima Chablani and Nell Gallogly. The “Modern Love” column is edited by Daniel Jones. Miya Lee is the editor of “Modern Love” projects. I’m Anna Martin. Thanks for listening.

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• April 10, 2024   •   29:18 Esther Perel on What the Other Woman Knows
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• March 13, 2024   •   32:32 Brittany Howard Sings Through the Pangs of New Love
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• February 14, 2024   •   28:39 Un-Marry Me!
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Hosted by Anna Martin

Produced by Julia Botero ,  Christina Djossa ,  Reva Goldberg and Emily Lang

Edited by Jen Poyant and Davis Land

Engineered by Daniel Ramirez

Original music by Pat McCusker ,  Marion Lozano ,  Carole Sabouraud ,  Rowan Niemisto ,  Diane Wong and Dan Powell

Listen and follow Modern Love Apple Podcasts | Spotify

‘at the heart of affairs, you find duplicity and cheating and betrayal, but you also find longing and loss for the life that one had, for the parts of oneself that have been denied’.

Over the last two decades, Esther Perel has become a world-famous couples therapist by persistently advocating frank conversations about infidelity, sex and intimacy. Today, Perel reads one of the most provocative Modern Love essays ever published: “ What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity ,” by Karin Jones.

In her 2018 essay, Jones wrote about her experience seeking out no-strings-attached flings with married men after her divorce. What she found, to her surprise, was how much the men missed having sex with their own wives, and how afraid they were to tell them.

Jones faced a heavy backlash after the essay was published. Perel reflects on why conversations around infidelity are still so difficult and why she thinks Jones deserves more credit.

Esther Perel is on tour in the U.S. Her show is called “An Evening With Esther Perel: The Future of Relationships, Love & Desire.” Check her website for more details.

Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang and Christina Djossa. The show is edited by Davis Land and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Pat McCusker, Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Carole Sabouraud, Rowan Niemisto and Diane Wong. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

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About 1 in 5 U.S. teens who’ve heard of ChatGPT have used it for schoolwork

Roughly one-in-five teenagers who have heard of ChatGPT say they have used it to help them do their schoolwork, according to a new Pew Research Center survey of U.S. teens ages 13 to 17. With a majority of teens having heard of ChatGPT, that amounts to 13% of all U.S. teens who have used the generative artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot in their schoolwork.

Teens in higher grade levels are particularly likely to have used the chatbot to help them with schoolwork. About one-quarter of 11th and 12th graders who have heard of ChatGPT say they have done this. This share drops to 17% among 9th and 10th graders and 12% among 7th and 8th graders.

There is no significant difference between teen boys and girls who have used ChatGPT in this way.

The introduction of ChatGPT last year has led to much discussion about its role in schools , especially whether schools should integrate the new technology into the classroom or ban it .

Pew Research Center conducted this analysis to understand American teens’ use and understanding of ChatGPT in the school setting.

The Center conducted an online survey of 1,453 U.S. teens from Sept. 26 to Oct. 23, 2023, via Ipsos. Ipsos recruited the teens via their parents, who were part of its KnowledgePanel . The KnowledgePanel is a probability-based web panel recruited primarily through national, random sampling of residential addresses. The survey was weighted to be representative of U.S. teens ages 13 to 17 who live with their parents by age, gender, race and ethnicity, household income, and other categories.

This research was reviewed and approved by an external institutional review board (IRB), Advarra, an independent committee of experts specializing in helping to protect the rights of research participants.

Here are the  questions used for this analysis , along with responses, and its  methodology .

Teens’ awareness of ChatGPT

Overall, two-thirds of U.S. teens say they have heard of ChatGPT, including 23% who have heard a lot about it. But awareness varies by race and ethnicity, as well as by household income:

• 72% of White teens say they’ve heard at least a little about ChatGPT, compared with 63% of Hispanic teens and 56% of Black teens.
• 75% of teens living in households that make $75,000 or more annually have heard of ChatGPT. Much smaller shares in households with incomes between $30,000 and $74,999 (58%) and less than $30,000 (41%) say the same.

Teens who are more aware of ChatGPT are more likely to use it for schoolwork. Roughly a third of teens who have heard a lot about ChatGPT (36%) have used it for schoolwork, far higher than the 10% among those who have heard a little about it.

When do teens think it’s OK for students to use ChatGPT?

For teens, whether it is – or is not – acceptable for students to use ChatGPT depends on what it is being used for.

There is a fair amount of support for using the chatbot to explore a topic. Roughly seven-in-ten teens who have heard of ChatGPT say it’s acceptable to use when they are researching something new, while 13% say it is not acceptable.

However, there is much less support for using ChatGPT to do the work itself. Just one-in-five teens who have heard of ChatGPT say it’s acceptable to use it to write essays, while 57% say it is not acceptable. And 39% say it’s acceptable to use ChatGPT to solve math problems, while a similar share of teens (36%) say it’s not acceptable.

Some teens are uncertain about whether it’s acceptable to use ChatGPT for these tasks. Between 18% and 24% say they aren’t sure whether these are acceptable use cases for ChatGPT.

Those who have heard a lot about ChatGPT are more likely than those who have only heard a little about it to say it’s acceptable to use the chatbot to research topics, solve math problems and write essays. For instance, 54% of teens who have heard a lot about ChatGPT say it’s acceptable to use it to solve math problems, compared with 32% among those who have heard a little about it.

Note: Here are the  questions used for this analysis , along with responses, and its  methodology .

• Artificial Intelligence
• Technology Adoption
• Teens & Tech

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