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How to Write an Appeal Letter (With Examples)

What to Include in an Appeal Letter

Tips for writing an appeal letter, appeal letter format, template for an appeal letter.

• Sample Appeal Letter

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can you appeal an unemployment claim denial, how do i appeal a wrongful demotion.

Maddy Price / The Balance

What is an appeal letter and how do you write one? An appeal letter is something you write if you feel you’ve been treated unfairly, and you want someone to reconsider a decision they have made about you. There are various times you might need to write an appeal letter, many of which can be in the workplace.

Perhaps you believe you’ve been unfairly warned, demoted, laid off, or fired. Maybe you’ve been denied a raise when you believe you deserve one. Regardless of the circumstances, you may be able to appeal the decision. If this is the case, a well-crafted appeal letter may help in redressing the situation.

Key Takeaways

• Check with your manager or human resources department to learn how to appeal a decision you believe is unfair.
• When you write an appeal letter, include facts and documentation that support your case.
• Your letter should be clear about what you want to have happen and what outcome you are seeking.
• If you don't get a timely response, follow up with a second message or a phone call to check on the status of your appeal.

In an appeal letter, you state the situation or event, explain why you think it was wrong or unjust, and state what you hope the new outcome will be.

Your appeal letter is your chance to share your side of the situation.

The goal of an appeal letter is to have a decision reconsidered and hopefully overturned. If your letter is courteous and clear, this is possible.

Here are some tips on how to write an effective appeal letter:

Check company policy. Before you write your letter, check company policy for information on how grievances and employee issues are handled.

Know where to send your letter.  Think carefully about whom to send your letter to. If you are trying to appeal a wrongful termination , for example, send the letter directly to your employer. You don’t want your letter to have to pass through a number of hands—this will only delay a resolution to your issue.

Use business letter format.  It is an official letter, so be sure to use proper business letter format . If you send your appeal via email, the format is slightly different.

Use a polite tone.  Try to avoid any anger or judgment in your writing. While you might be very upset about the issue, you don’t want to convey this feeling in your letter. Be confident and persuasive, but not aggressive. Consider asking a friend to read through the letter to make sure the tone is appropriate.

Admit any mistakes.  If you did something wrong, acknowledge it. State specifically what you did wrong and what you have learned from that experience.

State what you would like to happen.  In your letter, explicitly state what you hope will happen. Do you want the reader to reverse a decision they made? Do you want your employer to review a particular issue before making a decision? Be clear about what you want.

Stick to the facts.  Include any facts that help support your case. If there are policies that have been overlooked, state those policies. If you have documents that help your case, include them. Avoid emotional pleas, and stick to actualities.

Keep it brief.  Keep your letter short. Focus on the facts, stating what the situation is, why you think it is wrong, and what next steps you request.

Carefully edit your letter.  Because this is a professional letter, thoroughly proofread your letter before submitting it.

Follow up. ​ If you do not hear anything back within a week or so, follow up with the letter recipient with an email, second letter, or phone call. If time is of the essence, follow up sooner.

Your Contact Information Your Name Your Address Your City, State Zip Code Your Phone Number Your Email Address

Employer Contact Information Name Title Company Address City, State Zip Code

Salutation Dear Mr./Ms. Last Name,

First Paragraph Introduce yourself, and explain that you are writing an appeal letter. State the particular decision or situation you are appealing.

Second Paragraph State your side of the story. Were facts overlooked? If so, provide those facts. State whether or not you have attached any relevant documents.

Third Paragraph State the outcome you want (Do you want your employer to overturn a decision? Do you want something to be added to a decision?). Also state when you need an answer by, if there is a deadline.

Final Paragraph Conclude with a courteous “thank you” for the person’s time. Include the necessary contact information so they can follow up with you. If you are going to follow up, state how you will do so, and when.

Complimentary Close Respectfully yours,

Handwritten Signature  (for a hard copy letter)

Typed Signature

Download the appeal letter template (compatible with Google Docs and Word Online), or see below for more examples.

Sample Appeal Letter (Denied a Raise)

Below is a sample appeal letter that follows the format above and is for an employee who has been denied a raise. Use this sample to help you write your appeal letter. Be sure to revise the sample to fit your particular situation.

Sample Appeal Letter (Text Version)

Franklin Rodriguez 123 Main Street Anytown, CA 12345 555-555-5555 franklin.rodriguez@email.com

March 7, 2024

Leslie Lee Manager Acme Retail 123 Business Rd. Business City, NY 54321

Dear Ms. Lee,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to appeal your decision not to grant my annual pay raise, which we discussed last Tuesday at our annual review meeting.

As you stated in our meeting, you believed I had been late to work too many times this year to warrant a pay raise. According to my records (which I received from Human Resources), I have not been late more than two times this year. I have attached the Human Resources document marking my status.

In light of these facts, I request that you reconsider your decision about my pay raise.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read this and the attached document. I am happy to meet with you anytime to discuss this further.

Respectfully,

Signature (hard copy letter)

Franklin Rodriguez

If your claim for unemployment benefits was denied, you have the right to appeal . How to appeal depends on your state, so check with your state's labor department for guidelines on what to do when your unemployment claim is denied.

If you believe that you were wrongfully demoted , the first step is to contact the human resources department at your organization. There may be a process in place to file an appeal. If you believe your demotion might be illegal, you can contact an employment attorney or your state's labor department for assistance.

U.S. Department of Labor. " Benefit Denials ."

• How to Write the Perfect Financial Aid Suspension Appeal Letter (and a Sample)
• Financial Aid

Your financial aid can be suspended while you attend school for several reasons: You switch schools or change majors; your family makes too much money, which changes the information on your Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA); or you do not make satisfactory academic progress (SAP) as determined by your school.

If your school suspends your financial aid, and private student loans are not an option, it makes sense to worry about completing your degree. Depending on the reasons your aid was suspended , you can likely file an appeal.

If you do not meet the minimum course or hour requirements, you may lose financial aid with no ability to appeal. However, if you have personal reasons for struggling academically during the school year, you can file an appeal.

As part of your financial aid suspension appeal, include a letter explaining what happened. This letter can help the committee determine whether to reinstate this help.

• How to Understand the Appeals Process During Financial Aid Suspension

Filing a financial aid suspension appeal starts when you go to your school’s student financial services office. Ask them about the appeals process and what forms you need. Be diligent about gathering correct information and file your appeal by the deadline. Schools generally only allow you to file an appeal when your financial aid is suspended due to an SAP problem. To have financial aid reinstated, you must: 

• Understand your school’s SAP auditing process and the specific causes for your financial aid’s suspension.
• Show that you have corrected the SAP problem.
• Submit the appeal.
• Have your appeal accepted by the SAP committee.

When your appeal is accepted, you will be placed on financial aid probation. This provides you another semester, trimester, or quarter of financial aid. The committee will then reconvene to determine whether you addressed your SAP problem in a satisfactory way. A successful SAP appeal will include information about why your academic status changed, you dropped courses or failed to sign up for enough courses, or otherwise did not meet your school’s standards. There are many reasons students struggle, but some common causes include:

• Personal struggles with physical or mental health
• Family struggles, including illness or death
• Financial catastrophe, making your living situation unstable

As you complete your SAP appeal , gather information like health records, financial records, family statements, and correspondence with professors, employers, and peers that may be relevant. You should also write a personal letter to the SAP committee, which acknowledges that you did not meet SAP standards, that you understand what happened, and that you will take steps to correct this problem. Components of a successful SAP appeal letter are : 

• Formal heading, including your name, student identification, the date, and the committee’s information
• Formal address, including names of committee members you have corresponded with
• Introductory and concluding paragraphs
• One or two paragraphs explaining events that caused your academic struggles
• Information in these middle paragraphs about how you will improve your performance in the coming semester, trimester, quarter, or year
• Formal signoff
• Information about relevant attachments, like doctors’ notes or personal statements from family members

You may also be required to create a plan, in a separate document, to improve your academic performance. If you have a good academic record from previous years, you can show that this is a temporary problem and you understand how to solve it. If you are a newer student, you may need to provide references from other school years or classes that show you are able to improve your performance.

• Financial Aid Suspension Appeal Letter Sample

To understand how all the components of a financial aid suspension appeal letter work together, here is a sample: Dear Dr. Smythe and Esteemed Members of the Committee, My name is Joan Doe, and I am writing this letter as part of my appeal to reinstate my financial aid. Because I struggled to complete classes during this past semester, it was determined that I did not make satisfactory academic progress per the institution’s guidelines. Consequently, my financial aid was revoked. While I respect the school’s decision regarding my grades, I need this financial support to continue completing my bachelor’s degree. My poor academic progress occurred because of struggles within my family this year. My father was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. While his prognosis is good and we now know that treatment is going well, it was a devastating emotional blow. I spent more time with my family, helping to take care of the household and my two younger siblings while my mother was with my father during his treatment. This included a hospital stay of about one week, during which time I was unable to return to class. I worked hard on my studies during this time, but because my time was much more limited, I was unable to focus on writing papers, studying for midterms and finals, and meeting some deadlines. My professors, including my adviser Dr. Smythe, have been as understanding as possible. I did not communicate as clearly as I should have, and I understand that my negligence has translated into lower grades. I even failed some courses, which is a first for me, if you look at my previous years at this college. I regret such poor performance, and I want to improve in the coming academic year. The school has accepted me as a student again for the upcoming semester, but without the financial aid provided through the Pell Grant and student loan programs, I cannot afford to attend. My academic record prior to this has been exceptional, and I believe I can return to this level of scholastic performance. Please consider reinstating my financial aid with my regret, my apologies, and my history as a good student in mind. Thank you for your consideration. I appreciate attending this school and look forward to graduation. Respectfully, Joan Doe

• Other Sources of Funding if Your Financial Aid Is Suspended

The SAP committee may not accept your appeal or your financial aid suspension could stem from other causes, like changing majors and no longer meeting scholarship requirements. Other sources of financial aid, like private student loans, can help you complete your semester or year if you are unable to get your financial aid reinstated.

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Writing a successful SAP appeal

What happened - what has changed.

Your satisfactory academic progress (SAP) appeal explanation must include the following:

If this not your first appeal:

• Your explanation statement must include information about what has changed since your last appeal.
• You must also attach a Student Improvement Plan signed by your advisor.

Tips for writing your appeal explanation statement

Admit the problem.

Take a hard look at your situation to determine what has kept you from making satisfactory academic progress. Perhaps you need help with time management or study skills. Admit the problem and explain how will you get that help.

Note:  Lack of awareness of withdrawal policies, requirements for satisfactory academic progress or unpreparedness for college coursework will not be accepted as reasons for the purpose of an appeal.

Attach any relevant supporting documentation

• This may include a doctor's statement, copy of hospital/urgent care/physician's bill, obituary, funeral notice or death certificate.

Valid reasons for an SAP appeal

Valid reasons for an appeal include:

• medical emergencies 
• severe health issues
• severe personal or family problems 
• financial or personal catastrophe
• return for a second degree or certificate

Example of a valid explanation statement:

Important notes.

• Your appeal must be backed up by a degree worksheet or degree audit and an academic plan of work.
• You must also be able to show through your GPA calculation results that meeting SAP standards and graduating from your program is an attainable goal.

For instructions and information about formulating a plan of work, degree audit or utilizing the GPA calculator, visit the Degree Works website. 

Please note:  The Office of Student Financial Aid is required to report incidents of sexual violence or sexual harassment disclosed through this form to the Title IX Coordinator for follow-up and possible investigation. If you have experienced any form of sexual violence and would like to speak confidentially to a counselor for support, please contact Counseling and Psychological Services .

How to Write a SAP Appeal Letter A Step-by-Step Guide (With Sample)

If your college suspends your financial aid, it’s crucial to craft a compelling SAP appeal letter. In this guide, we’ll address common questions on this topic and provide an example of what your letter should entail.

What is The SAP Appeal Letters?

SAP, or Satisfactory Academic Progress, encompasses specific criteria that students must meet to retain financial aid eligibility. These criteria typically involve maintaining satisfactory grades, enrolling in a sufficient number of credits, and progressing towards degree completion. Failure to meet these standards may result in the suspension of financial aid and placement on academic probation.

Fortunately, colleges often provide a mechanism to accommodate students facing extenuating circumstances. Students can submit a SAP appeal letter to petition for the continuation of financial aid despite not meeting the standard requirements.

Where to Submit Your SAP Appeal Letter

Before diving into writing your SAP appeal letter, it’s essential to identify the appropriate office or department to which you should address your appeal. Typically, this will be the student financial services office, the same entity that notified you of your impending aid suspension.

Some colleges may impose specific length or formatting guidelines for SAP appeals. Additionally, you may encounter a structured form rather than a traditional letter format when submitting your appeal. Therefore, it’s crucial to familiarize yourself with any requirements or instructions provided by your college beforehand.

What is The Common Grounds for SAP Appeals Letter?

An SAP appeal serves as a lifeline for students facing adverse circumstances that impede their ability to maintain satisfactory academic progress. While each institution may have specific criteria for evaluating appeals, there are common circumstances that typically justify such appeals:

Serious Health Issues

Students grappling with significant health challenges that hinder their coursework completion may qualify for an SAP appeal. This includes personal health issues or those affecting immediate family members.

Family Emergencies

Instances of serious illness, injury, or bereavement within the student’s immediate family can warrant an SAP appeal.

Mental Health Struggles: Students contending with mental health issues that substantially impact their academic performance may be eligible for an SAP appeal.

Domestic Challenges

Adverse situations within the student’s household or immediate family, such as financial crises or domestic upheavals, may justify an SAP appeal.

What is The Goal of the Appeal Letter?

The primary objective of your SAP appeal letter is to persuade the review committee that your academic setbacks were attributable to one of the aforementioned circumstances.

Explain Your Situation

Provide a detailed account of your circumstances, elucidating how they adversely affected your academic performance. Clearly delineate how your situation aligns with the grounds for an SAP appeal.

Demonstrate Proactivity and Growth

Showcase the steps you’ve taken to address the challenges you faced. Highlight any proactive measures you undertook during the semester, such as seeking support from professors or accessing relevant resources. Reflect on the lessons learned from your experience and illustrate your commitment to personal and academic growth.

Outline Your Action Plan

Present a concrete plan outlining how you intend to overcome the obstacles and enhance your academic performance moving forward. Emphasize your readiness to implement strategies to prevent a recurrence of similar challenges. Even if you cannot entirely mitigate the extenuating circumstances, demonstrate your ability to navigate them more effectively while maintaining academic progress.

By articulating your circumstances, demonstrating growth, and outlining a proactive plan, you can bolster the effectiveness of your SAP appeal letter and increase your chances of securing the reinstatement of financial aid.

What Additional Materials Should I Include in My SAP Appeal Letter?

If you possess official documentation that corroborates your circumstances, it’s advisable to include it alongside your appeal letter. While this list isn’t exhaustive, it encompasses several key documents you may consider including:

Medical Documentation

Notes or reports from healthcare professionals, such as doctors or psychologists, can substantiate health-related challenges affecting your academic performance.

Legal Documents

Police reports or legal notices, such as eviction notices, can provide concrete evidence of extenuating circumstances.

Academic Support

If you sought assistance from professors or academic advisors during the semester, including notes or emails documenting these interactions can strengthen your appeal.

Other Correspondences

Any additional communications with school officials or relevant parties that shed light on your situation should be included, with the consent of all involved parties.

What Tone Should I Adopt?

While drafting your appeal letter, aim for a tone that is clear, concise, and professional. Despite delving into personal matters, maintain a level of professionalism throughout your narrative. Present your circumstances in a straightforward manner, focusing on the factual aspects of your situation rather than delving into emotional discourse. By adhering to a professional tone, you can effectively convey your message and bolster the credibility of your appeal.

Sample SAP Letter

Dear Dr. John and Esteemed Committee Members,

I hope this letter finds you well. My name is George, and I am writing to appeal the suspension of my financial aid package for failing to meet satisfactory academic progress this semester. I take full responsibility for my academic performance, which was primarily affected by challenges in Calculus II and Statistics.

While I acknowledge my academic shortcomings, I believe it’s important to provide context to my situation. This semester, I encountered unforeseen circumstances that significantly impacted my ability to maintain my studies. Specifically, I sustained a leg injury halfway through the semester, resulting in a two-week absence from class. Additionally, I was required to attend physical therapy sessions four times a week, further disrupting my academic routine.

Enclosed with this letter, you will find documentation from my healthcare provider and physical therapist, verifying the details of my injury and treatment. Prior to my accident, I was diligently attending tutoring sessions for my challenging mathematics courses. Unfortunately, due to my injury and subsequent therapy, I was unable to continue these sessions, leading to a decline in my academic performance.

Reflecting on this experience, I realize the importance of proactive communication with my professors and the invaluable support provided by tutoring sessions. Moving forward, I am committed to maintaining open lines of communication and actively engaging in academic resources to ensure my success.

I am pleased to inform you that my leg has now fully healed, and I do not anticipate any further disruptions to my studies in the upcoming semester. With a renewed sense of determination and lessons learned from this experience, I am confident in my ability to excel academically.

However, I must emphasize the critical role that financial aid plays in enabling me to pursue my education. Without the Pell Grant and institutional aid, I will be unable to continue my studies next semester. Therefore, I humbly request your reconsideration of my financial aid suspension, as it would significantly impact my academic aspirations.

Thank you for taking the time to review my appeal. I appreciate your understanding and consideration of my circumstances. Should you require any further information or clarification, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely, George

Writing a SAP appeal letter is an important step in regaining access to your financial aid if it has been suspended. It’s crucial to provide clear and compelling reasons for your academic struggles and demonstrate your commitment to academic success. Remember to include any relevant documentation to support your claims and maintain a professional tone throughout your letter. By following these guidelines and crafting a well-written appeal, you can increase your chances of having your financial aid reinstated and continue your educational journey without interruption.

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How to Write a Financial Aid Appeal Letter

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Dive deeper into FAFSA

When you need to apply: Find out the FAFSA deadline

How much aid you'll get: Estimate your financial aid award

What's on your FAFSA checklist: What you'll need to complete the application

Your financial aid letter: Understand and compare offers

If you get a financial aid award that’s less than you hoped — or if your circumstances changed since you first applied — it’s not your last shot to get money for college. But you have to ask for it.

Your best option in certain cases is to submit a financial aid appeal letter.

When to write a financial aid appeal letter

Try to appeal your award as soon as possible before the school runs out of aid.

First, email or call the school’s financial aid office to learn more about its aid award appeals process. Ask who you should get in touch with and any special requirements the school has.

Here are a few circumstances that could warrant writing a letter:

Your or your family’s finances have changed since you submitted the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or FAFSA . This might include events like the death of a caregiver, a medical emergency, job loss or homelessness.

You made an error on the FAFSA you think may have affected your aid award.

You got a better aid offer from another school and you’re asking the school to match.

» MORE: What to do if you didn’t get enough financial aid

The amount of aid you request depends on the gap you need to fill. If you only need a few thousand dollars more to pay for college, an appeal could be enough. If you have a larger gap — $10,000 or more — you may need to consider additional avenues, like student loans .

If you need money more immediately due to a financial emergency, your school may have emergency grants . Contact your school's financial aid office to see what's available.

What to include in your financial aid appeal letter

You can mail a letter, deliver in person or send an email, depending on the school’s process. SwiftStudent , a free tool developed by multiple colleges and educational advocacy organizations, has financial aid appeal letter templates available.

Your financial aid award appeal letter should include the following:

An address to a specific person. Find a specific contact at the financial aid office to direct your letter to, rather than a generic “Dear Sir or Madam”

A clear “ask” and a specific “why.” Ask the office to reconsider, then offer a clear-cut reason why you need more aid money.

Details of any special circumstances. Explain your situation in an open and honest way. If there’s been a financial change since you submitted the FAFSA, ask the office to adjust your cost of attendance based on your new circumstances.

Appropriate documentation. Include any relevant documents that support your explanation and refer to them in the letter. If the aid office requires specific forms, include those as well.

An exact amount. Provide a real financial aid amount that would enable you to attend the school. If you need aid for specific things, like travel costs or supplies, be sure to name them.

A competing offer, if you have one. If another school offered you more financial aid, include the offer and ask the school to match it.

Next steps. Ask what the next stages are in the appeal process.

More than one “thank you.” Open and close with gratitude. Thank the office for the financial aid you already got and for considering your appeal.

» MORE: What happens to federal financial aid if you fail a class?

As you compose the letter, make sure to:

Write it yourself. It may be tempting to have a parent appeal on your behalf, but your case will be stronger if you ask for more money for yourself, in your own words.

Be careful of word choice and tone. The tone of the letter should toe the line between humble and assertive. Since you’re the one making a request, swap a term like “negotiate” for “reconsider.”

Be clear and succinct. Write no more than one page.

Pay attention to grammar. Have someone you trust read your letter before sending it to check for any errors.

What to do if your appeal is unsuccessful

If your appeal isn't successful or still leaves you short of what you need, here are some other options:

Consider other financial sources. Look for scholarships that may still be available beyond the college. If you're already taking out federal loans, consider private student loans to close the gap. Compare offers from multiple lenders before choosing a loan.

» MORE : L ast-minute strategies to pay for college

Rethink your college choice . If it’s unlikely you’ll get enough financial aid for every year of college, consider going to a less expensive school. Doing so could save you from a high debt burden you’ll be paying back for many years to come.

7 steps to appeal your financial aid

Step 1. Contact the school’s financial aid office to find out the appeals process.

Step 2. Find the best person to write the appeal letter to.

Step 3. Determine how much aid to ask for.

Step 4. Gather documents to support your request.

Step 5. Write a financial aid appeal letter that is no more than one page and includes details of why you need more money.

Step 6. Submit your letter, documentation and any forms the school requires.

Step 7. If you get a positive response, congratulations! If you still need additional aid or your request is denied, consider scholarships and loans. Alternatively, consider another school that has a lower price tag or offers more aid.

On a similar note...

How to Write a Financial Aid Appeal Letter

Parents of dependent students should be honest and provide examples if they hope to write a successful appeal letter.

Successful financial aid appeals are rare, experts say. But crafting a good financial aid appeal letter can give students the best chance of getting more money for college .

After receiving an award letter , students may be able to appeal the financial aid package they were given by a specific college. Not all students find themselves in a circumstance that merits writing an appeal letter to request more financial aid , and in some situations appealing could even lower the amount of aid they receive.

But Mark Kantrowitz, publisher and vice president of research for Savingforcollege.com, says more awareness is needed about appeals.

"Too often families think of the financial aid award letter as being set in stone and not subject to appeal," he says. "The first sign there might be an issue is if the financial aid offer is not merely a harsh assessment of your ability to pay, but an impossible assessment. Chances are there is some bit of information the financial aid office was unaware of when they calculated your financial aid package."

In those cases, families should consider appealing the financial aid offer , he says, noting that an appeal letter should be written by a parent if the student is considered a dependent.

Whatever the circumstance, students and their parents typically must demonstrate to financial aid administrators a significant change in their ability to pay for college by providing proof or new information. For families who determine an appeal is the best route, here are tips on how to write a successful financial aid appeal letter:

• Start by calling the financial aid office.
• Include specific examples.
• Gather documentation.
• Be respectful and honest, and keep it short.
• Submit the financial aid appeal letter the right way.

Start by Calling the Financial Aid Office

The appeal process can vary across colleges. Some require students to fill out a form in addition to writing an appeal letter, while others don't require a letter at all. For this reason, experts recommend students call the target school's financial aid office before taking any steps toward an appeal.

But students and families should plan to do more than just make a phone call, experts say. A physical letter can be powerful.

"There's a formal process if the student is asking to have their eligibility for aid re-evaluated, because you have to have a reason to be re-evaluated," says Abril Hunt, manager of outreach and financial literacy for Educational Credit Management Corp., a nonprofit based in Minneapolis that aims to promote financial literacy and student success in higher education.

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Include Specific Examples

No two financial aid circumstances are the same. Even in situations when two families have a similar event occur that inhibits their ability to pay for college, Kantrowitz says they shouldn't expect the same outcome from an appeal. Colleges and financial aid administrators have significant flexibility in deciding how to respond to appeals.

"Schools are able to practice what is called professional judgment," says Megan Coval, vice president of policy and federal relations at the National Association of Student Financial Aid Administrators.

"This is a process that we think works pretty well right now, and we like the flexibility schools have. If you made it a little more standardized or rigid, you'd run the risk of it being too one size fits all, and there are so, so many different scenarios in which students might appeal or ask for professional judgment to be done. So we think that's in the hands of the financial aid office and the student," she says.

The way families present their financial circumstances can affect the result of an appeal. Experts say parents should list specific circumstances that have an impact on their ability to pay for college in their appeal letters, possibly in a bulleted list. Using a clear bulleted list can help quickly convey the facts of a family's situation in a way that is digestible for financial aid administrators and easy to connect to supporting documentation.

Some of the most common situations that may warrant an appeal are if a parent dies or loses his or her job; if parents get a divorce; if child support has ended; in cases of significant natural disasters that result in losses for the family; in the case of significant medical or dental expenses; if the student has a special needs family member or cares for a special needs child; or if the estimate for commuting and other educational costs is significantly lower than the actual costs, Kantrowitz says.

Families should also explain how the specific circumstance has affected their ability to pay.

The contents of the letter should be different depending on whether the family is hoping to get more need-based or more merit-based aid . If the aid is based on merit, it might be helpful to include more information about a student's GPA and accomplishments, but if it is strictly need-based , experts say that information is unnecessary.

Gather Documentation

Providing proof of the specific circumstances listed in the appeal is critical, experts say. If the appeal letter doesn't include any documentation, students and families can expect to get a response from the financial aid office asking for it.

The best kind of documentation families can provide is a document from a third-party source, Kantrowitz says. An example of a good document to include might be a paid medical bill or pay stubs and W-2s showing a decrease in income.

Letters from other sources can also be included, but those from family members may not carry the same weight as one from an outside source with knowledge of the family's financial situation, such as an insurance agent or health professional who can speak to the family's situation.

"It's not just narrative," Hunt says. "You need something in writing to back it up. They won't take your word for it; they need to have some proof of the situation changing or the information being inaccurately reported."

Hunt says if other colleges have offered more generous packages, copies of those offers can be included with the appeal letter.

Be Respectful and Honest, and Keep it Short

An appeal letter should include other information beyond specific examples of financial changes or hardships. A parent should thank the financial aid office for its consideration, and write briefly about the student's excitement to attend the institution.

Experts say families should never lie about their financial need or treat the process like a negotiation.

While the financial aid appeal letter should include specific details, Kantorwitz warns: "Don't tell them your entire life story."

For an appeal of need-based financial aid, writing a long narrative or including too many details are unlikely to help a student's chances. The most important elements of the letter, experts say, are often the examples and corresponding proof.

"Processors really don't have the time to read long letters like that, so I would say be succinct and to the point." Hunt says. "Stick to the facts."

In his book "How to Appeal for More College Financial Aid," Kantrowitz provides examples of good and bad financial aid appeal letters. Here's an example of what he says a good appeal letter written by a parent might look like:

"Dear Director of Financial Aid,

I am very excited that my daughter, [name of daughter], has been accepted by such a prestigious university. I am proud of her accomplishments.

Unfortunately, there are some unusual aspects of our family's finances that make it difficult for my daughter to afford to enroll, despite your generous financial aid offer.

* I am a single parent, raising three daughters on my own. My husband died last year, after a long battle with cancer.

* Our family income has decreased significantly in the last two years. Besides the loss of my husband's income, I was laid off by my employer and had to accept a job at a much lower salary after six months on unemployment. Also, my income two years ago included a big one-time bonus that obviously will not be repeated.

* I am still making payments on a significant amount of medical debt. The insurance company did not cover all of the costs of my husband's cancer treatment because it included therapies that were classified as experimental by the insurance company. The COBRA payments after my husband lost his job because of the cancer were and remain very high. We also liquidated our small retirement plans to cover the deductibles and co-pays.

* My daughter's Social Security survivor's benefits end next year when she turns 18.

* My daughter's younger siblings are enrolled at a private high school. Although the school has helped with a scholarship after my husband's death, it doesn't cover full tuition. I thought about sending them to public school because the expense is no longer affordable, but I don't have the heart to do that to them after they lost their father. I don't want them to lose their friends. Plus, our reasons for sending them to a private school are still valid.

I have enclosed copies of documentation of these circumstances, a copy of my pay stubs before and after the job change, a copy of the unemployment benefits, a copy of my husband's death certificate, copies of our medical bills and a copy of this year's federal income tax return.

Your university is my daughter's first choice. I hope you will provide her with more financial aid, so she can afford to enroll at your fine institution. I am sure she will thrive there.

Thank you for your time and consideration."

Submit the Financial Aid Appeal Letter the Right Way

Parents should submit the appeal letter as soon as possible, Kantrowitz says. While experts say it is rare for a student to receive financial aid before being admitted to an institution, Kantrowitz says in most cases parents should submit an appeal letter early, even if financial aid administrators won't respond to it until the student is admitted.

The letter should be mailed, ideally through certified mail that includes delivery confirmation, to the financial aid office in most cases, Kantrowitz says. Parents should confirm the correct address with the institution's financial aid office.

However, families who don't have clear changes to their financial situation but feel they could still get more financial aid through an appeal may want to wait to send the letter, Hunt says.

"They might want to wait until the first round of award letters, after mid-June," Hunt says. "Then the school will have a better idea of what the enrollment numbers will be. And if the school is behind in their enrollment numbers they might be more likely to find an extra couple thousand dollars for the student in order to get their enrollment numbers up."

Trying to fund your education? Get tips and more in the U.S. News Paying for College center.

Financial Aid

• Writing a Financial Aid Appeal Letter
• A Guide to College Financial Aid
• Do You Have to Pay Back Financial Aid?
• Get the Most Money From Your College
• Deciphering a Financial Aid Offer Letter

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Sample Appeal Letter for an Academic Dismissal

Dismissed from college? This sample letter can help guide your appeal

• Ph.D., English, University of Pennsylvania
• M.A., English, University of Pennsylvania
• B.S., Materials Science & Engineering and Literature, MIT

If you've been dismissed from college for poor academic performance, your college will most likely give you an opportunity to appeal that decision. The best approach is to appeal in person , but if the school doesn't allow face-to-face appeals or if the travel costs are prohibitive, you should plan to write the best appeal letter possible. (In some cases, you might be asked to do both—the appeals committee will ask for a letter in advance of the in-person meeting.)

Qualities of a Successful Appeal Letter

• Demonstrates an understanding of what went wrong
• Takes responsibility for academic failures
• Outlines a clear plan for future academic success
• Conveys points honestly

There are many reasons why students get dismissed from college , and many approaches to appealing . In the sample letter below, Emma was dismissed from college after she ran into academic trouble because of difficulties at home. She uses her letter to explain the extenuating circumstances that caused her to perform below her potential. After reading the appeal, be sure to read the discussion of the letter so that you understand what Emma does well and what could use a little more work. 

Emma's Appeal Letter

Dear Dean Smith and Members of the Scholastic Standards Committee:

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from Ivy University. I was not surprised, but very upset to receive a letter earlier this week informing me of my dismissal. I'm writing to you with the hope to be reinstated for next semester. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to explain my circumstances.

I admit I had a very difficult time last semester, and my grades suffered as a result. I don't mean to make excuses for my poor academic performance, but I would like to explain the circumstances. I knew that registering for 18 credit hours in the spring would require a lot of me, but I needed to earn the hours so as to be on track to graduate on time. I thought I could handle the workload, and I still think I could have, except that my father became very ill in February. While he was home sick and unable to work, I had to drive home every weekend and some weeknights to help out with household duties and to care for my little sister. Needless to say, the hour-long drive each way cut into my study time, as did the chores I had to do at home. Even when I was at school, I was very distracted with the home situation and was unable to focus on my schoolwork. I understand now that I should have communicated with my professors (instead of avoiding them), or even taken a leave of absence. I thought I could handle all of these burdens, and I tried my best, but I was wrong.

I love Ivy University, and it would mean so much to me to graduate with a degree from this school, which would make me the first person in my family to complete a college degree. If I am reinstated, I will focus much better on my schoolwork, take fewer hours, and manage my time more wisely. Fortunately, my father is recovering and has returned to work, so I should not need to travel home nearly as often. Also, I have met with my advisor, and I will follow her advice about communicating better with my professors from now on.

Please understand that my low GPA that led to my dismissal does not indicate that I am a bad student. Really, I'm a good student who had one very, very bad semester. I hope you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Emma Undergrad

A quick word of warning before discussing the details of Emma's letter: Do not copy this letter or parts of this letter in your own appeal! Many students have made this mistake, and academic standards committees are familiar with this letter and recognize its language. Nothing will torpedo your appeal efforts faster than a plagiarized appeal letter. The letter needs to be your own.

Critique of the Sample Appeal Letter

Any student who has been dismissed from college has an uphill battle to fight. By dismissing you, the college has indicated that it lacks confidence in your ability to succeed academically. You aren't making sufficient progress towards your degree, so the school no longer wishes to invest its resources in you. The appeal letter must re-instill that confidence. 

A successful appeal must demonstrate that you understand what went wrong, take responsibility for the academic failures, outline a clear plan for future academic success, and demonstrate that you are being honest with yourself and the committee. Failure in any of these areas will significantly weaken your chances of success.

Own Your Mistakes

Many students who appeal an academic dismissal make the mistake of attempting to place the blame for their problems on someone else. If you blame your professors or your roommate for your weak grades, the committee is not going to be impressed. Certainly, external factors can contribute to academic failure, and it is fair to describe extenuating circumstances. However, it is important to own up to your own mistakes.

In fact, acknowledging mistakes is a major sign of maturity. Remember that the appeals committee does not expect college students to be perfect; instead, they want to see that you recognize your mistakes and have learned from them. The committee is made up of educators, and they have devoted their lives to helping students grow. Show them that you recognize what you did wrong and have grown from the experience.

Emma's appeal succeeds fairly well in all of the above areas. First of all, she does not try to blame anyone but herself. She has extenuating circumstances—her father's illness—and she is wise to explain them, but she doesn't make excuses. Instead, she acknowledges that she did not handle her situation well.

She owns up to the fact that she should have been in contact with her professors when she was struggling and ultimately should have withdrawn from classes and taken  a leave of absence  when her father's illness started to dominate her life. Yes, she had a rough semester, but her failing grades are her own responsibility.

The overall tone of Emma's letter is sincere. The committee now knows  why  Emma had such bad grades, and the reasons seem both plausible and pardonable. Assuming she did earn solid grades in her earlier semesters, the committee is likely to believe Emma's claim that she is a "good student who had one very, very bad semester."

Even if your reason for poor academic performance is embarrassing, you need to be honest. It will be clear to the committee if you are being evasive or telling only half the story. If you spent too much time partying or playing video games, share that information with the committee and explain what you're going to do about it in the future.

Be Specific About Your Plan for Success

Emma also presents a plan for her future success. The committee will be pleased to hear that she is communicating with her advisor. In fact, Emma would be wise to have her advisor write a letter of support to go with her appeal.

A few elements of Emma's future plan could use a little more detail. She says that she "will focus much better on [her] schoolwork" and "manage [her] time more wisely." The committee is likely to want to hear more on these points. If another family crisis arises, what will Emma do to ensure that she is able to stay focused on schoolwork? What is her time management plan? She won't become a better time manager simply be saying she will do so.

In this part of the letter, Emma should be more specific. How exactly is she going to learn and develop more effective time management strategies? Are there services at her school to help with her time management strategies? If so, Emma should mention those services and describe how she will utilize them.

On the whole, Emma comes across as a student who deserves a second chance. Her letter is polite and respectful, and she is honest with the committee about what went wrong. A severe appeals committee may reject the appeal because of the mistakes Emma made, but many colleges would be willing to give her a second chance. Indeed, situations like Emma's are the very reason that colleges allow students to appeal a dismissal. The context of the low grades matters.

More on Academic Dismissals

Emma's letter provides a good example of a strong appeal letter, and these six tips for appealing an academic dismissal can help guide you as you craft your own letter. Also, there are many less sympathetic reasons for being kicked out of college than we see in Emma's situation. Jason's appeal letter takes on a more difficult task, for he was dismissed because alcohol took over his life and led to academic failure. Even in such situations, however, a successful appeal is certainly possible. Finally, if you want to see some common mistakes students make when appealing, check out Brett's weak appeal letter . Brett fails to own up to his mistakes, comes across as insincere, and blames others for his problems.

• A Bad Academic Dismissal Appeal Letter
• Sample Appeal Letter for an Alcohol-Related Academic Dismissal
• How to Appeal a Dismissal From College
• Dismissed from College? Tips for an In-Person Appeal
• How to Write an Appeal Letter for a College Dismissal
• 10 Questions You Might Be Asked When You Appeal an Academic Dismissal
• Sample Appeal Letter for a College Rejection
• High School Grades Don't Always Accurately Reflect Your Ability
• Sample Letters of Continued Interest
• Tips for Appealing a College Rejection Decision
• Sample Recommendation Letters for College Applicants
• Sample Responses to a College Deferral Letter
• Sample Graduate School Recommendation by a Professor
• Can You Appeal a College Rejection?
• Learn Your Options If You're Kicked out of College
• Sample Poor Letter of Recommendation

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How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

Learn about our editorial policies

Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

Frequently asked questions about writing personal statements 

How do you write a powerful personal statement, what makes an amazing personal statement, how do you start an amazing personal statement, scholarships360 recommended.

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College Personal Statement Examples and Writing Tips

So, you have started your college application process and are hitting a wall. You got your high school transcripts and letters of recommendation in order. Your SAT scores are on the way. But your college personal statement is sitting there unfinished, and the deadline is coming fast!

But have no fear!

Because Wordvice edits thousands of essays every admissions season, we have seen some of the best (and worst) college application essays out there. This guide will tell you how to write the best personal statement for college possible for your college application. Included are examples of successful college personal statements and analyses.

What we will learn here about writing a personal statement for college:

• What is a college personal statement?
• How important is the personal statement for college admissions?
• Why do colleges require a personal statement?
• Read examples of successful personal statements
• Successful personal statement example & analysis
• Essay editing services can improve your personal statement

Personal Statements and Other College Admissions Essays

Even knowing what specific terms regarding college admissions documents means can be a bit confusing. To clear up any questions, here is a brief rundown of some main college application terms that are often used:

• Personal statement for college — an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. It’s worth noting that, unlike “college essay,” this term is used for application essays for graduate school as well.
• College admissions essay— this is essentially the same as a college personal statement. (I’ll be using the terms interchangeably.) It can also include supplemental essays or widely-used essays such as the Common App Essay . 
• Essay prompt— a question or statement that your college essay is meant to respond to.
• Supplemental essay— an additional school or program-specific essay beyond the basic personal statement. Some schools require both a supplemental essay and a personal statement. Check your college’s application guidelines to determine which specific admissions essays are necessary for submission.

What is the personal statement for college?

The college personal statement is a key part of the college application and a key factor among admissions committees. It is the one opportunity for high school students applying to college to sell themselves on their own terms and using their own words.

Personal statements for college differ from SAT scores and academic transcripts, which are more standardized. Further, while letters of recommendation touch on many of the same issues as personal statements, they are not written by you but by a recommender.

A focused and effective personal statement for college serves three major functions:

1. Personal statements give broad, comprehensive insights into your personal and academic background.

Ultimately, your academic, personal, and even professional background can be the determining factor in your admission to any college program. But there’s a big  difference between a personal statement and resume or CV.

2. It provides college admissions counselors with an accurate overview of your academic goals.

A good college personal statement must explain how your background relates to your university’s program and your goals. It must put in context the tools, resources, and background you bring to the table and how they are aligned with your school’s profile. In the business world, this is called “ vertical alignment .”

In other words, how you write about your background should make you stand out from other college applicants as well as connect with what you want to accomplish. Your background empowers you to succeed!

In admissions essays, small steps can yield big results.

3. Personal statements answer very specific questions.

Often, your college application will require you to apply to a specific program and will ask very specific questions. For example, applying to your university’s business college will require answering different application essay questions than applying to a performing arts program.

So be sure to research not only your target university’s profile but also your specific college major and professors in that department.

We illustrate this exact idea in the two successful personal statement examples below!

How Important is the personal statement for college to admissions officials?

Covid-19 has made the sat/act less important.

Common App announced that it will include a dedicated essay prompt on COVID-19 for the 2020-2021 admissions cycle. As a result, students are scrambling to figure out how to write about COVID-19 in their college admissions essays .

There’s even more evidence that the college personal essay is becoming the most important part of the application process. As CBS News reports :

A growing number of U.S. colleges and universities are abandoning ACT and SAT scores as part of their admissions process. The so-called test-blind movement has gathered steam this year amid widespread cancellations of standardized tests because of COVID-19.

Moreover, a court recently ruled that the University of California public school system can no longer consider SAT/ACT scores in the admissions process . The days of the standardized test may be numbered.

This means that the application essay just got a lot more important.

How to Write a Personal Statement for College to Impress Admissions Officers

Why do college admissions committees rely on college application essays so much? The answer is that a college personal statement sets you apart from your high school peers by explaining three ideas:

Show your personality in your personal statement

College admissions committees rely on your transcripts and GPA as a measure of your academic prowess. Letters of recommendation focus more on how others view you and how you interact.

On the other hand, your college personal statement application essay gives admissions counselors a sense of your personality. It demonstrates how you will fit in as well as contribute to the university community.

Are you hyper-focused and ambitious with a lot of professional experience and projects to back it up? Or are you more curious, with a wide range of interests? Are your motivations related to achieving concrete objectives, or are they more personal or emotional in nature? The lens through which you interact with the world is exactly what your personal statement essay should show.

On paper, your SAT score, GPA, and extracurricular activities may be the same as other applicants. You may end up in the same college classes. College counselors know no two applicants are the same. What matters is that both fit in with what the university wants for its students.

Describe any extenuating circumstances

Are your grades a bit below average? Did you fail a class in high school? Those things jump out when it comes to numbers on paper. Universities want to know the context for abnormal records, and most importantly, how you view them.

As the world continues to become more global and aware of social disparities, the definition of “traditional success” is becoming increasingly irrelevant. It has become standard for U.S. universities to have action plans for the diversity and inclusion of underprivileged students.

Most importantly, colleges want to understand how you struggled and overcame a difficult situation. Those are the exact students they want!

Explain why you are applying to this school

Besides selling your personality and explaining any drawbacks or holes in your record, a great college personal statement should provide insights into why you are applying to university. This may seem obvious, but unfortunately, many students get caught up in proving themselves like a job application. They totally forget to explain why they are applying to college.

How to write about reasons for applying to college:

• Define what part(s) of the university appeal to you. Explain how they align with your personal goals and personality.
• Pick out a couple of unique characteristics of the school. These can be professors, programs of study, or facilities.

Successful College Personal Statement Examples

Now that we know how important a college personal statement is and what it does, what’s the first step?

Success imitates success

At Wordvice, we encourage college applicants to look at successful personal statement examples to really absorb and gain insights into what an engaging personal college essay is. Read as many as you can, as no two students are the same. But you will see many of the themes discussed above again and again in successful college personal statements.

College Personal Statement Examples and Sample Essays

To start, Wordvice is including a couple of successful personal statement essay examples, including comments and feedback provided by our editors to the students. Both of these essays were edited by Wordvice’s professional editors , with both students gaining admission!

Personal Statement Essay #1: The “Holistic Profile” Essay

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in studying at the University of ________ as a Supply Chain Management student. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my letter. I am currently studying for a bachelor’s degree in Public Finance and Supply Chain Management at ________ University. I have decided to apply to your Supply Chain Management programme because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover, I consider this programme as a great opportunity to get to know ________ culture and its well-developed logistic background. I am also very curious about the different approaches taken in this field at a prominent university. I have chosen to apply to the University of________ because it examines all types of supply chain management perspectives, from production to services. During my previous studies, I discovered that simply working on procurement is far from enough. My fellow students and I had the opportunity to create an e-commerce project. At the time, the only thing in our control was the procurement decision, but I soon realized I had the capacity and drive to learn more about solutions and innovations. Another reason I am applying for this programme at ________ is its close relationship with relevant companies in my desired field. I learned on the university’s website that there is a specific resource that helps to connect students with these companies. Since I am interested in working in the Netherlands after I graduate, this resource will definitely be useful for my career. In addition, the fact that this programme offers an option to participate in an apprenticeship is very appealing to me. This could not only broaden my horizons through practical experience but also provide a chance for me to expand my connections in the industry. My current undergraduate studies make me highly suitable for this programme. I have learned the basic foundations of supply chain management through courses such as operations management, strategic purchasing, and inventory management. I have also taken mathematics and statistics to help me understand data problems. In addition to my academic interests, I have a full and interesting life off-campus. I was a member of our school volleyball team, which won several championships; this led to me graduating as an honour’s student. Those times spent on the court have strengthened my team spirit and my ability to work under pressure. During summer vacations, I spend time travelling around Europe and the United States. My first experience in Amsterdam was unforgettable, and it made me consider coming back in the future. Planning the trip carefully, and living alone in an unfamiliar area, have turned me into a more independent young woman. Professionally, I have done internships in international companies such as Red Bull and ASUS. These experiences gave me the chance to work in a global context with people from different countries, which has encouraged me to have a more flexible and adaptive mindset. Because of these wonderful experiences, I am certain I will conquer all future challenges and make the most out of them. In conclusion, I am very eager to study Supply Chain Management at the University of ________, as it would give me a chance to deepen my skills and knowledge in one of the field’s top universities. I am confident I excel in this programme due to my solid educational foundation in business and personality strengths. Thank you again for reading my personal statement. I look forward to hearing from you.

Why was this personal statement for college successful?

The essay is well-organized and directly answers key questions.

The applicant clearly lays out her educational and professional background as well as her skills. She also includes two solid paragraphs about why she has chosen her program of study and later explains why she is both qualified and a perfect fit.

This essay displays excellent organization and has a natural flow of ideas indicative of a native English speaker who can write exceptionally well.

The essay is personal and does not feel like a resume or CV

This college applicant came with a very strong academic and professional background. A solid handle on supply chain management (not the most exciting major) with internships to back it up. But notice how she doesn’t dwell on just that? She is able to connect things like her academic math experience with personal motivation. She even includes her extracurricular activities to show she’s more than a number cruncher.

First, she shows that she is a well-rounded person , not just a student that studies for grades. Second, she conveys her well-developed personal identity that has chosen this course of study at this particular college in this particular country. Make sure your college essay communicates this!

The essay specifically targets the school

Every major university has a business school, and every business school has a supply chain management program. How do the college admissions counselors reading her personal statement know she’s motivated to apply there?

This applicant clearly explains how she personally wants to attend this particular university in The Netherlands. She lists her personal travel experience and mentions a specific mentorship program.

Personal Statement Essay #2: The “Enthusiastic Achiever” Essay

I am passionate about computers because technology will continue to play a fundamental role in our lives. Based on this fact, I researched colleges that have both a strong computer science program and co-op program, and this is when I found Hofstra. I visited the campus for a tour and was really impressed with what I saw. Not only are the campus facilities top-notch, but the advanced computer science labs are world-class. This shows Hofstra’s focus to be able to provide the best intellectual and technical resources for students. I asked my tour guide about the class sizes and curriculum style. I was thrilled when he told me that average class sizes are in the 20s and that the curriculum emphasizes experiential learning.   I am looking for more than just academic excellence; extracurricular activities, including community service opportunities, are also very important to me. In researching schools that would provide students with the most well-rounded lifestyles, I was amazed to see the number of philanthropic events that the school hosts and supports. Philanthropy seems ingrained in the school’s culture. I also saw hundreds of clubs that can cater to everyone’s unique interests. Students are also welcome to start new clubs if no existing clubs can foster their interests. The energy on campus is something that I noticed right away. Both the students and staff show a lot of pride for Hofstra, and it’s truly memorable how enthusiastic the school spirit is among students. Leaving home to attend college is a big change for everyone, and I think school pride and a strong sense of community will help me make a smooth transition. I was very happy to hear that students get two tickets to events on campus. This is especially great because I am a sports fan and would love to experience the electric game-day atmosphere of a division one basketball game and cheer on the Lions!  Hofstra’s location is also ideal because it has the advantages of being in a smaller town but also being very close to New York City. I do not want to attend college in a big city, but the fact that New York City is so close opens up a lot of opportunities. First off, there are numerous internships at top companies in the city. In addition, it would be great to visit the city from time to time and see a show or sports game. Being able to do that with friends would give me great experiences and memories.   Hofstra is my top choice because it fulfills my most important criteria: esteemed faculty members, a strong computer science program, a strong sense of belonging, amazing internship and community service opportunities, and a diverse campus. I cannot wait to be a Hofstra Lion!

This personal statement is brief and under the word count

This essay is 461 words, which is perfectly under the 500-word limit on many college admissions essays. Although content is the main focus, your personal statement needs to abide by all rules laid out in the essay brief. That includes mundane but essential stipulations such as word count.

It is multi-faceted and hits major selling points

The student talks about Hofstra’s location, academics, sports, extracurriculars, and even philanthropy. The student doesn’t just list these as a marketing brochure would; each selling point is connected to the student personally and emotionally. Excitement is something that every student tries to portray in their admissions essay, so be sure you emulate something like this.

Improve Personal Statements with College Essay Editing Services

It’s an understatement that college is one of the most important factors, affecting your social and professional future. Unfortunately, college personal statements and admissions essays sometimes come a bit disorganized and unfocused, just like the students who write them. That’s where essay editing services like Wordvice come in. They are beneficial for a number of reasons.

Why Use an Admissions Essay Editing Service?

1. they help fix errors that you miss.

College admissions committees have to reject a certain number of applicants every year. You can be sure that your application essay will go straight into the reject pile if it has any grammar or spelling errors.

It definitely takes a bit of self-awareness and experience to realize when it’s best to let someone help you. No one person has a monopoly on knowledge or perspective, no matter how strong their background is. Ever played the “what’s the difference between these two pictures” game?

Our brains are hard-wired to lock in our own biases. That’s a major problem when it comes to writing a personal statement where the entire point is convincing someone else.

2. They save students time

College consulting services have stated that the average number of applications is about 5.9 per college applicant. Of course, students will try to maximize their chances of getting into a good college. The downside is lack of time, which no one can buy more of.

English editing services like Wordvice help free up time so you can do what you need to do: apply to college.

3. Editors help improve your ability to communicate

Whether you are an ESL student or a native English speaker, everyone can improve their writing. In the case of a college application essay, this can mean the difference between getting into your dream college and attending your second-choice school. In addition to fixing grammar and basic errors, editing services go above and beyond to match the flow and readability of your writing with your goal – academic or admissions.

If you are writing a personal statement or college essay, you want editors with first-hand college and university admissions experience reviewing and editing your essay.

Additional College Personal Statement Tips

We hope you learned a lot from these examples of successful college personal statements. So what’s next?

I want to learn more about the college admissions process

Interested in learning more tips from experts about the college admissions process, personal statements, or letters of recommendation? Check out the  Wordvice Admissions Resources blog.

I am interested in professional editing for my personal statement

We also got you covered! Whether you choose personal statement editing , recommendation letter editing , resume editing , or any of our other essay editing services , you can find the help you need to improve your college essay.

I want to improve my college personal statement for college right now

Check out our turnaround times and conditions on our editing FAQ page. Or you can jump straight in and use our Editing Price Calculator to start the ordering process.

March 19, 2021

VA Statement in Support of Claim Example (4-Step Process)

Last updated on March 7, 2024

I hope you enjoy reading this blog post.

If you want to learn how to implement these strategies to get the VA benefits you deserve, click here to speak with a VA claim expert for free.

In today’s high-value blog post, I’m going to share a real VA Statement in Support of Claim Example to include our 4-step process used by thousands of veterans so you can write powerful personal statements to support your VA disability claims.

What’s the bottom line?

A competent and credible personal statement in support of a claim can be the linchpin between winning and losing your VA disability claim and getting the appropriate VA rating for your disability.

Personal statements are immensely powerful and important for your VA claim strategy and should be written carefully.

You must be open, honest, and uncomfortably vulnerable when writing your VA statements in support of a claim.

Think LESS is MORE.

Keep it short and sweet.

And you do NOT need to describe every detail.

A VA Statement in Support of Claim should be 3-5 paragraphs max.

VA Raters are very busy and don’t have time to read a novel.

But first things first: You might be wondering what the heck is a Statement in Support of a Claim (VA Form 21-4138)?

What is a VA Statement in Support of a Claim?

Statement in support of a claim sample: 4 critical sections explained, should i write a statement in support of a claim for each disability condition i’m claiming, step #1: list the name of the disability you’re claiming in the first section of the va form 21-4138, va personal statement examples step #2: explain the approximate timeframe your disability began along with why it should be service connected (or why your va rating should be increased for conditions already service connected), statement in support of claim sample step #3: list the current symptoms of your disability in terms of frequency, severity, and duration over time, how to write a va statement in support of a claim step #4: explain how the disability negatively impacts your work, life, and social functioning., how to write a winning va statement in support of claim, statement in support of claim sample, deserve an increase in your va disability we got you covered, about the author.

A VA Statement in Support of a Claim is a 3-5 paragraph written narrative that details the facts and circumstances of an individual VA disability condition.

Personal statements can be very powerful in filling in any gaps between your military service and present day, including things like service treatment records, doctor visits for treatment (or lack thereof), severity of your symptoms over time, and how your disability is negatively affecting your work, life, and social functioning.

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The best VA Statements in Support of a Claim include the following 4 sections with specific examples tailored to you:

#1. List the Name of the Disability You’re Claiming in the First Section of the VA Form 21-4138

#2. Explain the Approximate Timeframe Your Disability Began Along with Why It Should Be Service Connected (or Why Your VA Rating Should Be Increased for Conditions Already Service Connected)

#3. List the Current Symptoms of Your Disability in Terms of Frequency, Severity, and Duration Over Time

#4: Explain How the Disability Negatively Impacts your Work, Life, and Social Functioning (Use a Couple Examples).

The official VA Form 21-4138 is still the preferred document to use to write a personal statement or if you want to submit a VA “Buddy Statement” from someone with firsthand knowledge of the facts and circumstances to support your VA disability claims.

In our experience, you should write a detailed personal statement for each disability you’re claiming.

For example, let’s say you’re going to file one VA disability claim with three separate conditions: An increase for your service-connected PTSD, an increase for your service-connected GERD, and a new secondary condition for Migraines secondary to Tinnitus.

You should personally write three separate VA Statements in Support of a Claim for each disability condition.

Statement #1: Statement in Support of a Claim to Increase Service-Connected PTSD VA Rating , which should explain how your PTSD limits or affects your work, life, and social functioning, to include your current mental health symptoms, and why you should have a higher rating.

Statement#2: Statement in Support of a Claim to Increase Service-Connected GERD , which should explain how your GERD limits or affects your work, life, and social functioning, to include your current GERD and acid reflux symptoms, and why you should have a higher rating.

Statement #3: Statement in Support of a Claim for Migraines Secondary to Tinnitus , which should explain why you think your Migraines were caused or aggravated by your Tinnitus, how your Migraines limit or affect your work, life, and social functioning, to include your current Migraine symptoms.

How to Write a Powerful VA Statement in Support of Claim (4-Step Process)

Before we begin, make sure to download the official VA Form 21-4138 Statement in Support of a Claim and save it to your computer.

In part one, you’ll want to list the name of the VA disability condition you’re claiming.

I recommend that the name of the condition matches the actual medical diagnosis in your medical records.

For example, if you’re a first-time filer of PTSD, you would name the disability in the header as follows:

DC 9411, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Due to Combat Deployment to Iraq

Expert Tip: Insert the Diagnostic Code (DC) of the condition you’re claiming from CFR Title 38, Part 4, Schedule for Rating Disabilities .

In part two of your Statement in Support of a Claim, you should explain the approximate timeframe (month and year) that your disability condition and symptoms began.

If you’re filing for an increase on a disability that’s already service connected, go ahead and explain how long you’ve been service connected and why you’re filing for an increase, paying close attention to the frequency, severity, and duration of your symptoms over time.

If you’re filing for direct service connection, explain to the VA Rater the in-service incident, injury, or disease that led to the development of your disability.

For example, if you’re claiming PTSD due to a combat deployment, be sure to explain this to include any PTSD Stressor Events (e.g., you feared for your life and safety) to the VA Rater in your personal statement, along with the location, month, and year.

If you’re filing for secondary service connection, explain to the VA Rater why you think a current service-connected disability caused or aggravated the new secondary disability condition.

Let’s say you’re filing for Migraines secondary to Tinnitus.

You could write something such as:

“I’ve had service-connected Tinnitus since 2006. The near-constant ringing in my ears has led me to develop severe Migraine Headaches roughly 2-4x per month. Because of this, I think my Migraines are secondary to Tinnitus. I’ve also included an Independent Medical Opinion from a private provider along with medical research to support this conclusion.”

Expert Tip: You want to explain the “Nexus” (e.g., why you think the condition should be service connected) to the VA Rater very clearly in two sentences or less. List the page numbers in your records where the VA Rater can find the condition quickly.

In part three, you should list the current symptoms of the disability you’re claiming.

Explaining your current disability symptoms in detail is critically important because VA disability ratings depend upon your frequency, severity, and duration of symptoms over time.

If you suffer from severe symptoms of PTSD that cause major impacts, be sure to write down all the symptoms with examples so the VA Rater gets an accurate picture of your approximate symptoms and level of impairment.

Here is an example of how to write this section:

I suffer from severe symptoms of PTSD and now have hyper-sensitivity to lights and loud noises, near-constant anxiety and depression, suicidal thoughts, near-constant panic attacks, sweating, heart racing, ringing in my ears, tingling in my arms, mouth, and lips, dry mouth, headaches, severe insomnia, significant impairment of my short-term and long-term memory, severe anger issues, and paranoia. These symptoms affect me constantly, and I have no control over them. I was referred to a VA Mental Health clinic and have begun regular therapy with a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist. I was formally diagnosed with PTSD in 2006 (see pages 22, 35, 47, and 68 of the attached VA Medical Records).

Expert Tip: Pay close attention to the symptoms based on the rating criteria of the condition you’re claiming from CFR Title 38, Part 4, Sched ule for Rating Disabilities . You should have a basic idea of what your eligible for by law by looking at the VA rating criteria for your disability.

In part four, you should explain how the disability negatively affects your work, life, and social functioning.

A best practice is to explain at least two specific examples of how your disabilty is limiting or affecting you in negative ways.

My PTSD has negatively affected my work and life in many ways. I’ve been divorced twice and don’t have relationships with my children anymore. I lost my job because I can’t get along with my co-workers and supervisors, could not concentrate on my work, took too many sick days for depression and anxiety, and I had angry outbursts at my boss, co-workers, and customers. I often forget people and places, suffer from severe memory loss, forget where I’m driving to and from, I have severe depression, chronic anxiety, constant panic attacks, and constantly check windows, doors, and locks out of OCD-like paranoia. I’ve tried vet centers, medications, mindfulness, etc., and receive little to no relief.

In this video, I show you “How to Write a Winning VA Statement in Support of Claim” using our simple 4-step process with examples.

I also share a real VA Statement in Support of Claim Example with on-screen tips, strategies, and lessons learned.

***VA Statement in Support of Claim – Video Timestamps & Resources***

⏩ 00:00 ​ Brian Reese VA Insider Welcome Message

⏩ 02:12 ​ VA Disability Benefits Basic Eligibility Explained!

⏩ 05:36 ​ Why Write a VA Statement in Support of Claim?

⏩ 07:44 ​ The 4 Essential Parts to a Winning VA Personal Statement

⏩ 16:20 ​ VA Ratings Depend on Frequency, Severity, and Duration of Symptoms

⏩ 22:08 ​ VA Statement in Support of Claim Example for PTSD

⏩ 24:00 ​ Statement in Support of Claim Example for Migraines (Headaches)

⏩ 25:20 ​ VA Claims Insider Elite Program Overview

⏩ 37:22 ​ Unlock FREE VA Disability Resources at: https://vaclaimsinsider.com/ ​

⏩ 42:17 ​ How Does VA Claims Insider Work?

VA Statement in Support of Claim Example

Here’s a real VA Statement in Support of Claim Example for Migraine (Headaches) with sections from the VA Form 21-4138.

This was a re-evaluation, and the Veteran was already service connected at 30% for Migraines but didn’t feel an increase was warranted to the higher VA rating level of 50% for Migraines.

• #1. DC 8100, Migraine Headaches
• #2. My headaches have remained largely the same (static/permanent) with occasional increases and decreases in severity. My headaches have been service-connected since 2012.
• #3. When I’m having a migraine, I experience pain on both sides of my head, which last anywhere from 30 minutes to 1-2 hours. These episodes occur once every 2 weeks on average. I take Tylenol OTC and Motrin OTC in varying doses to help with the pain. I do take frequent naps 3-5x per week, to include 15-to-30-minute rest periods during the workday, especially when the headaches occur. I also practice regular mindfulness meditations and calming music to include noise-canceling headphones.
• #4. I’ve worked from home since 2014, which helps me maintain control of my surroundings to include the environment, sounds, lights, space, etc. My migraines do affect my work as I’m less productive due to napping and frequent breaks.

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Brian Reese  is a VA disability expert, former military officer, and  founder of VA Claims Insider  –  “The Most Trusted Name in Education-Based Resources for Veterans.”

His frustration with the  8-step VA disability claims process  led him to create  “VA Claims Insider,”  which provides U.S. military veterans with tips, strategies, and lessons learned to win their VA disability compensation claim in less time.

Brian is  also the CEO  of  Military Disability Made Easy , which is the world’s largest free searchable database for all things related to DoD disability and VA disability, and has served more than 6,000,000 military members and veterans since its founding in 2013.

He is a  former active duty Air Force officer  with extensive experience leading hundreds of individuals and multi-functional teams in challenging international environments, including a combat tour to Afghanistan in 2011 in support of  Operation ENDURING FREEDOM.

Brian is a Distinguished Graduate of Management from the  United States Air Force Academy , Colorado Springs, CO and he holds an MBA from Oklahoma State University’s Spears School of Business, Stillwater, OK, where he was a National Honor Scholar (Top 1% of Graduate School class).

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Gre prep online guides and tips, 3 successful graduate school personal statement examples.

Looking for grad school personal statement examples? Look no further! In this total guide to graduate school personal statement examples, we’ll discuss why you need a personal statement for grad school and what makes a good one. Then we’ll provide three graduate school personal statement samples from our grad school experts. After that, we’ll do a deep dive on one of our personal statement for graduate school examples. Finally, we’ll wrap up with a list of other grad school personal statements you can find online.

Why Do You Need a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a chance for admissions committees to get to know you: your goals and passions, what you’ll bring to the program, and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.  You need to sell the admissions committee on what makes you a worthwhile applicant. The personal statement is a good chance to highlight significant things about you that don’t appear elsewhere on your application.

A personal statement is slightly different from a statement of purpose (also known as a letter of intent). A statement of purpose/letter of intent tends to be more tightly focused on your academic or professional credentials and your future research and/or professional interests.

While a personal statement also addresses your academic experiences and goals, you have more leeway to be a little more, well, personal. In a personal statement, it’s often appropriate to include information on significant life experiences or challenges that aren’t necessarily directly relevant to your field of interest.

Some programs ask for both a personal statement and a statement of purpose/letter of intent. In this case, the personal statement is likely to be much more tightly focused on your life experience and personality assets while the statement of purpose will focus in much more on your academic/research experiences and goals.

However, there’s not always a hard-and-fast demarcation between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. The two statement types should address a lot of the same themes, especially as relates to your future goals and the valuable assets you bring to the program. Some programs will ask for a personal statement but the prompt will be focused primarily on your research and professional experiences and interests. Some will ask for a statement of purpose but the prompt will be more focused on your general life experiences.

When in doubt, give the program what they are asking for in the prompt and don’t get too hung up on whether they call it a personal statement or statement of purpose. You can always call the admissions office to get more clarification on what they want you to address in your admissions essay.

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What Makes a Good Grad School Personal Statement?

A great graduate school personal statement can come in many forms and styles. However, strong grad school personal statement examples all share the same following elements:

A Clear Narrative

Above all, a good personal statement communicates clear messages about what makes you a strong applicant who is likely to have success in graduate school. So to that extent, think about a couple of key points that you want to communicate about yourself and then drill down on how you can best communicate those points. (Your key points should of course be related to what you can bring to the field and to the program specifically).

You can also decide whether to address things like setbacks or gaps in your application as part of your narrative. Have a low GPA for a couple semesters due to a health issue? Been out of a job for a while taking care of a family member? If you do decide to explain an issue like this, make sure that the overall arc is more about demonstrating positive qualities like resilience and diligence than about providing excuses.

Specific Examples

A great statement of purpose uses specific examples to illustrate its key messages. This can include anecdotes that demonstrate particular traits or even references to scholars and works that have influenced your academic trajectory to show that you are familiar and insightful about the relevant literature in your field.

Just saying “I love plants,” is pretty vague. Describing how you worked in a plant lab during undergrad and then went home and carefully cultivated your own greenhouse where you cross-bred new flower colors by hand is much more specific and vivid, which makes for better evidence.

A strong personal statement will describe why you are a good fit for the program, and why the program is a good fit for you. It’s important to identify specific things about the program that appeal to you, and how you’ll take advantage of those opportunities. It’s also a good idea to talk about specific professors you might be interested in working with. This shows that you are informed about and genuinely invested in the program.

Strong Writing

Even quantitative and science disciplines typically require some writing, so it’s important that your personal statement shows strong writing skills. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and that you don’t have any grammar and spelling errors. It’s helpful to get other people to read your statement and provide feedback. Plan on going through multiple drafts.

Another important thing here is to avoid cliches and gimmicks. Don’t deploy overused phrases and openings like “ever since I was a child.” Don’t structure your statement in a gimmicky way (i.e., writing a faux legal brief about yourself for a law school statement of purpose). The first will make your writing banal; the second is likely to make you stand out in a bad way.

Appropriate Boundaries

While you can be more personal in a personal statement than in a statement of purpose, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your writing. Don’t overshare anything too personal about relationships, bodily functions, or illegal activities. Similarly, don’t share anything that makes it seem like you may be out of control, unstable, or an otherwise risky investment. The personal statement is not a confessional booth. If you share inappropriately, you may seem like you have bad judgment, which is a huge red flag to admissions committees.

You should also be careful with how you deploy humor and jokes. Your statement doesn’t have to be totally joyless and serious, but bear in mind that the person reading the statement may not have the same sense of humor as you do. When in doubt, err towards the side of being as inoffensive as possible.

Just as being too intimate in your statement can hurt you, it’s also important not to be overly formal or staid. You should be professional, but conversational.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Our graduate school experts have been kind enough to provide some successful grad school personal statement examples. We’ll provide three examples here, along with brief analysis of what makes each one successful.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 1

PDF of Sample Personal Statement 1 – Japanese Studies

For this Japanese Studies master’s degree, the applicant had to provide a statement of purpose outlining her academic goals and experience with Japanese and a separate personal statement describing her personal relationship with Japanese Studies and what led her to pursue a master’s degree.

Here’s what’s successful about this personal statement:

• An attention-grabbing beginning: The applicant begins with the statement that Japanese has never come easily to her and that it’s a brutal language to learn. Seeing as how this is an application for a Japanese Studies program, this is an intriguing beginning that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A compelling narrative: From this attention-grabbing beginning, the applicant builds a well-structured and dramatic narrative tracking her engagement with the Japanese language over time. The clear turning point is her experience studying abroad, leading to a resolution in which she has clarity about her plans. Seeing as how the applicant wants to be a translator of Japanese literature, the tight narrative structure here is a great way to show her writing skills.
• Specific examples that show important traits: The applicant clearly communicates both a deep passion for Japanese through examples of her continued engagement with Japanese and her determination and work ethic by highlighting the challenges she’s faced (and overcome) in her study of the language. This gives the impression that she is an engaged and dedicated student.

Overall, this is a very strong statement both in terms of style and content. It flows well, is memorable, and communicates that the applicant would make the most of the graduate school experience.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 2

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 2 – Musical Composition

This personal statement for a Music Composition master’s degree discusses the factors that motivate the applicant to pursue graduate study.

Here’s what works well in this statement:

• The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: her experiences with music growing up, and her family’s musical history. She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis.
• The description of her ancestors’ engagement with music is very compelling and memorable. The applicant paints her own involvement with music as almost inevitable based on her family’s long history with musical pursuits.
• The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively. We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community.

This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application (like work samples) are probably the most important.  However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:

• I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into 2-3 separate paragraphs. I might use one paragraph to orient the reader to the family’s musical history, one paragraph to discuss Giacomo and Antonio, and one paragraph to discuss how the family has influenced the applicant. As it stands, it’s a little unwieldy and the second paragraph doesn’t have a super-clear focus even though it’s all loosely related to the applicant’s family history with music.
• I would also slightly shorten the anecdote about the applicant’s ancestors and expand more on how this family history has motivated the applicant’s interest in music. In what specific ways has her ancestors’ perseverance inspired her? Did she think about them during hard practice sessions? Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 3

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 3 – Public Health

This is my successful personal statement for Columbia’s Master’s program in Public Health. We’ll do a deep dive on this statement paragraph-by-paragraph in the next section, but I’ll highlight a couple of things that work in this statement here:

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• This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
• This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. But because the paragraphs are organized and I use specific examples, it doesn’t feel too vague or scattered.
• In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande. This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.

Grad School Personal Statement Example: Deep Dive

Now let’s do a deep dive, paragraph-by-paragraph, on one of these sample graduate school personal statements. We’ll use my personal statement that I used when I applied to Columbia’s public health program.

Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother (a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist) ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.

This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.

It’s good that I connect this family history to my own interests. However, if I were to revise this paragraph again, I might cut down on some of the detail because when it comes down to it, this story isn’t really about me. It’s important that even (sparingly used) anecdotes about other people ultimately reveal something about you in a personal statement.

Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest. In January 2012, my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. Doctors in America subsequently diagnosed Fred with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). My parents were told that if Fred’s condition had been discovered in China, the (very poor) orphanage in which he spent the first 8+ years of his life would have recognized his DMD as a death sentence and denied him sustenance to hasten his demise.

Here’s another compelling anecdote to help explain my interest in public health. This is an appropriately personal detail for a personal statement—it’s a serious thing about my immediate family, but it doesn’t disclose anything that the admissions committee might find concerning or inappropriate.

If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. “Denied him sustenance to hasten his demise” is a little flowery. “Denied him food to hasten his death” is actually more powerful because it’s clearer and more direct.

Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities. The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.

In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.

Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. Understanding the underlying structure of a group’s culture is essential to successfully communicating with the group. In studying folklore and mythology, I’ve learned how to parse the unspoken structures of folk groups, and how those structures can be used to build bridges of understanding. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft.

In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The (very brief) analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.

Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health.

This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry. It also allows me to mention my work with data and quantitative analytics, which isn’t necessarily obvious from my academic background, which was primarily based in the social sciences.

Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad.

This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions. Unfortunately, it’s a little disjointed, primarily because I discuss goals of pursuing a PhD before I talk about what certificate I want to pursue within the MPH program! Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense.

I also start two sentences in a row with “I intend,” which is repetitive.

The final sentence is a little bit generic; I might tailor it to specifically discuss a gender and sexual health issue, since that is the primary area of interest I’ve identified.

This was a successful personal statement; I got into (and attended!) the program. It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program (its interdisciplinary focus) and what competencies I would bring (a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare). However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples You Can Find Online

So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school? Examples are everywhere on the internet, but they aren’t all of equal quality.

Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones here if you are looking for more personal statement examples for graduate school.

Penn State Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field.

The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches. However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them.

Cal State Sample Graduate School Personal Statements

These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays.

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However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above 1000 and one is almost 1500 words! Many programs limit you to 500 words; if you don’t have a limit, you should try to keep it to two single-spaced pages at most (which is about 1000 words).

University of Chicago Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics. The writing in all is very vivid, and all communicate clear messages about the students’ strengths and competencies.

Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. In fact, one major thing to note is that many of these responses, while well-written and vivid, barely address the students’ interest in law school at all! This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 10

This successful essay for law school from a Wheaton College undergraduate does a great job tracking the student’s interest in the law in a compelling and personal way. Wheaton offers other graduate school personal statement examples, but this one offers the most persuasive case for the students’ competencies. The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 1

Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. However, I’ve actually included this essay because it demonstrates an extremely risky approach. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. The student’s decision not to report the drill sergeant may read incredibly poorly to some admissions committees. They may wonder if the student’s failure to report the sergeant’s violence will ultimately expose more soldiers-in-training to the same kinds of abuses. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled

It’s actually hard to get a complete picture of the student’s true motivations from this essay, and what we have might raise real questions about the student’s character to some admissions committees. This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.

Key Takeaways: Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. (It’s more personal!)

We also discussed what you’ll find in a strong sample personal statement for graduate school:

• A clear narrative about the applicant and why they are qualified for graduate study.
• Specific examples to support that narrative.
• Compelling reasons why the applicant and the program are a good fit for each other.
• Strong writing, including clear organization and error-free, cliche-free language.
• Appropriate boundaries—sharing without over-sharing.

Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement.

Finally, we provided a list of other sample grad school personal statements online.

What’s Next?

Want more advice on writing a personal statement ? See our guide.

Writing a graduate school statement of purpose? See our statement of purpose samples  and a nine-step process for writing the best statement of purpose possible .

If you’re writing a graduate school CV or resume, see our how-to guide to writing a CV , a how-to guide to writing a resume , our list of sample resumes and CVs , resume and CV templates , and a special guide for writing resume objectives .

Need stellar graduate school recommendation letters ? See our guide.

See our 29 tips for successfully applying to graduate school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Ellen McCammon

Ellen is a public health graduate student and education expert. She has extensive experience mentoring students of all ages to reach their goals and in-depth knowledge on a variety of health topics. View all posts by Ellen McCammon

A 10-Step Guide to Writing an Outstanding Personal Statement

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Applying to college can be daunting, especially when it comes to writing a personal statement. This essay showcases not just your writing skills but also your unique personality, achievements, and aspirations. Understanding that while grades are crucial, a personal statement often becomes the differentiating factor in your application. To navigate this essential component, we’ve compiled a ten-step guide, replete with examples, to ensure your personal statement leaves a lasting impression on admissions officers.

Applying to college can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to writing a personal statement. This essay not only showcases your writing skills but also highlights your unique personality, achievements, and aspirations. While it may seem unnecessary, tedious, time-consuming, and just another tick-the-box, know that as each application is processed, grades are just one of the criteria of selection, more often than not a personal statement becomes the differentiating factor.

To help you navigate this crucial component of your application, we’ve compiled a ten-step guide, complete with inspiring examples to ensure your personal statement makes a lasting impression on admissions officers.

• Start Early and Brainstorm Begin the process early to give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm. Reflect on your experiences, achievements, and motivations. Think about what makes you unique, both in terms of personality and life experiences.
• Understand the Prompt Make sure you clearly understand what the college is asking for. Each institution may have different prompts or questions. Tailor your response specifically to each prompt, ensuring you answer it fully and directly. Be comprehensive and succinct in your answers, choosing words that convey your candidature the best.
• Create an Outline Draft an outline to organize your thoughts and ensure a coherent flow of ideas. This will help you structure your statement effectively, making sure every part contributes towards presenting a compelling narrative.
• Exhibit, Don’t Tell Use specific examples to demonstrate your qualities and achievements. Instead of stating that you’re a great leader, describe a situation where you demonstrated leadership. This method makes your statement more engaging and believable.
• Focus on Your Strengths While it might be tempting to cover a wide range of subjects, focusing on a few key strengths or experiences can have a stronger impact. Depth over breadth is crucial in personal statements.
• Be Authentic Admissions officers can tell when a statement is genuine. Write honestly about your experiences and passions and let your natural voice shine through. Authenticity is key to making a personal statement stand out.
• Get Feedback After drafting your statement, seek feedback from teachers, mentors, or friends. They can provide insights on clarity, grammar, and the overall impact of your essay. They all have a perspective of you from an external viewpoint, so do not skip this step.
• Revise and Edit Use the feedback to revise your statement. Look for areas where you can clarify your points, eliminate redundancy, and correct grammatical errors. This step is crucial for polishing your final submission.
• Keep It Concise Adhere to the word limit. Being able to express your thoughts concisely and effectively is a skill appreciated by admissions officers.
• Final Review Before submitting, do a final review. Read your statement out loud to catch any remaining errors or awkward phrasing. Make sure it sounds natural and is easy to read.

Examples of Exemplary Personal Statements:

Example 1: The Innovator Jane’s personal statement begins with a vivid description of her tinkering with a broken radio at age eight, which sparked her interest in technology. She intertwines her personal journey with her academic achievements, such as leading her school’s robotics team to a national competition. Jane uses specific examples, like designing a new robot navigation system, to demonstrate her passion and skill in engineering.

Example 2: The Community Leader John opens his statement with a powerful recount of organizing community relief efforts during a local flood. Highlighting his role in mobilizing volunteers and coordinating with local authorities, he demonstrates strong leadership and commitment to his community. His narrative includes feedback from the community and the personal growth he experienced, providing a well-rounded view of his character.

Example 3: The Attentive Listener Emma’s personal statement explores her profound appreciation for music and its role in shaping her interpersonal connections. She describes an afternoon spent sharing playlists with a group of international students, which turned into a deep discussion about cultural expressions through music. This experience not only highlights her listening skills but also illustrates her ability to forge meaningful relationships through shared interests.

Example 4: The Compassionate Leader David writes about his high emotional quotient and how it spurred him to lead a community initiative focused on animal welfare. His personal statement recounts organizing local workshops to educate people about animal kindness and launching a successful campaign for a local shelter. David’s story reflects his empathy and leadership in translating compassion into actionable community improvement.

Commentary: Every life is extraordinary; it’s how you narrate your story that captures the reader’s eye. Your personal statement should reflect your unique experiences and aspirations.

Conclusion:

In crafting your personal statement, remember, you don’t have to be extraordinary in the usual sense—honesty and transparency are key. Be a dreamer of the art of the possible; dream as big as you can and let those dreams articulate themselves in your words. This approach not only reveals your true self to admissions officers but also shows your potential to contribute meaningfully to their academic community. Start your adventure today! Use these steps as your guide to find the university that best fits your future goals. Dream big and achieve even bigger.

A 10-Step Guide to Picking the Right University

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Study in uk – a guide for students from the uae and pakistan, navigating your graduate studies journey, ai-powered learning revolution: how tech supercharges your studies, exam success strategies: your ultimate guide for the academic final stretch.

The VA Disability Advocate

HOW TO WRITE A COMPELLING STATEMENT TO SUPPORT YOUR CLAIM

Crafting a compelling Statement in Support of Claim for your VA disability application involves detailed storytelling and clear articulation of how your service-related disability impacts your life. A well-structured statement can significantly enhance your claim by providing the VA with a vivid, personal insight into your experiences, challenges, and needs. Below, we expand on each section of your statement to ensure a comprehensive and persuasive narrative.

Start with a detailed introduction of your military service. This should include:

Branch of Service and Unit: Clearly state your branch and unit, providing a foundation for understanding your military background.

Service Duration and Locations: Mention the total years served and key locations, especially those relevant to your claim.

Roles and Responsibilities: Describe your MOS or specific duties, focusing on aspects that relate directly to your disability claim.

Detailed Account of the Event:  If a specific event is at the heart of your disability:

Event Description: Provide a chronological narrative of the event, including the date, location, and what transpired. Use descriptive language to convey the intensity or seriousness of the situation.

Your Role in the Event: Detail your involvement, actions taken, and any immediate consequences you faced.

Eyewitness Accounts: If available, include statements from others who witnessed the event, adding credibility and perspective to your account.

Description of Your Disability and Its Impact:  This section is crucial for illustrating the breadth of your disability's impact on your life:

Physical and Emotional Toll: Discuss specific physical limitations or symptoms you experience. Describe the emotional and psychological effects, such as PTSD, anxiety, or depression, emphasizing how these have altered your daily life.

Professional and Social Impact: Detail any changes in your job performance, career trajectory, or employment status. Discuss the strain or changes in relationships and social activities, highlighting any isolation or withdrawal you've experienced.

Comparison of Pre- and Post-Service Life: Offer a vivid comparison of your abilities, hobbies, and quality of life before and after your service. This contrast can powerfully illustrate the disability's impact.

Medical Treatment and Response

Treatment Timeline: Provide a detailed timeline of your medical treatments, including dates, healthcare providers, and treatment outcomes. This demonstrates the ongoing nature of your disability and your efforts to address it.

Accessibility and Efficacy of Treatments: Discuss any challenges in accessing care or limitations in treatment efficacy. This can highlight the complexity and severity of your condition.

Personal Testimony

Personal Reflections: Share your personal journey in adapting to life with your disability. This might include mental health struggles, the challenge of redefining your identity post-service, or the daily realities of living with a chronic condition.

Hopes and Frustrations: Articulate your hopes for improvement or fears about the future. This section adds depth to your narrative, showing the human element behind the claim.

Supporting Testimonies

Family and Friends Observations: Incorporate statements from those close to you, detailing their observations of your struggles and changes since your service. These perspectives can underscore the broad impact of your disability.

Professional Insights: If applicable, include observations from your employers or colleagues about changes in your work performance or behavior, lending further evidence to your claim's validity.

Conclusion and Appeal for Support

Summary of Your Situation: Concisely summarize the key points of your narrative, reinforcing the severity and legitimacy of your disability.

Appeal for Understanding and Support: End with a respectful appeal to the VA for support, emphasizing the critical role of the benefits in maintaining your dignity, independence, and quality of life.

Writing Tips for Clarity and Impact

Narrative Flow: Ensure your statement has a logical flow, with each section smoothly transitioning into the next. This helps maintain the reader's engagement and understanding.

Emotive Language: Where appropriate, use emotive language to convey the intensity of your experiences and the depth of your struggles. This can make your statement more compelling and memorable.

Proofreading: Thoroughly proofread your statement or have someone else review it for errors and clarity. A polished, error-free statement reflects the seriousness of your claim well.

By meticulously crafting each section of your Statement in Support of Claim, you significantly strengthen your VA disability claim, ensuring that the VA fully comprehends the profound impact of your service-related disability on your life.

(Current Clients): Please use these forms to submit your statement

VA Form 21-0781  PTSD Statement - Personal Statement (Read This First)

VA Form 21-0781a PTSD and MST Secondary to Personal Assault - Personal Statement (Read This First) 

VA Form 21-10210 Lay Witness Statement -  Buddy, Family, and Friends Statements

VA Form 21-4138 General Statements  - Can be used for any VA benefit

SAMPLE LETTER :

[Your Name]

[Your Service Number/SSN]

[Your Address]

[Email Address]

[Phone Number]

Department of Veterans Affairs

Claims Intake Center

PO Box 4444 Janesville, WI 53547-4444

Subject: Service Connection for Lumbar Strain

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to apply for service-connected compensation for a lumbar strain that initially occurred in 1989 while I was stationed at Fort Polk, Louisiana. During a field exercise, I was involved in lifting a generator off a truck, which resulted in immediate back pain. I sought medical attention at the base's sick call, where I was prescribed 800mg of Ibuprofen and placed on a temporary profile.

Despite the initial care, I continued to experience lumbar pain throughout my service. However, fearing stigma and potential negative attention from my unit, I refrained from seeking further medical assistance. This decision, driven by a concern for my career and unit cohesion, has had lasting repercussions on my health.

After my service, my access to medical care was severely limited, and it wasn't until 2012, through my employment, that I was able to seek treatment for my ongoing back pain. Over the past three years, I have been under the care of a private chiropractor. Recent X-rays have confirmed the presence of Degenerative Disc Disease (DDD) and bulging discs, conditions that trace directly back to the injury I sustained while in service.

The impact of this injury has extended far beyond my service and into my personal and professional life. I am currently enrolled in a pain management program to manage the constant discomfort and limitation of mobility. My ability to perform at work has been compromised, leading to periods of unemployment and financial strain. Furthermore, the pain and subsequent treatment have caused me to miss significant life events and opportunities to spend time with my family, contributing to a decreased quality of life.

I have attached all relevant medical records, including the documentation from my initial visit to sick call in 1989, records from my chiropractic care, and the recent X-rays and diagnoses. These documents substantiate the origin of my lumbar strain during military service and its progression to my current condition.

I request that the Department of Veterans Affairs recognize the service connection of my lumbar strain and its subsequent conditions. Granting this claim would not only validate the physical suffering I have endured since my service but also provide the necessary support to manage my health moving forward.

Thank you for considering my claim. I am ready to provide any additional information or documentation required. I look forward to your response and hope for a favorable review of my case.

Conclusion:

When filing a VA disability claim, providing comprehensive evidence to support your case is vital. Statements in Support of Claim offer a valuable opportunity to strengthen your claim by providing crucial details, additional information, and personal testimonies. These statements substantiate the event that caused your disability, offer insights into its impact on your life, establish pre-service and post-service comparisons, and personalize your claim. Gathering and including these statements significantly enhances your chances of obtaining the disability compensation you deserve. The collective power of these statements adds depth, context, and humanity to your claim, ensuring that decision-makers have a comprehensive understanding of your unique circumstances.

The VA Disability Advocates Main Office is Located in Las Vegas, NV. We Represent Veterans throughout the United States. 702-992-4883 

Naussany Investments claims to drop Graceland foreclosure case; Memphis court has not heard from company

The Graceland foreclosure case has taken another turn into the absurd.

In an email, Gregory Naussany, a representative claiming to be from Naussany Investments and Private Lending, has said the firm is dropping the case. However, the Shelby County Chancery Clerk's office confirmed it has not received any correspondence from Naussany Investments since the court proceeding ended Wednesday.

On Wednesday, Chancellor JoeDae Jenkins issued a ruling regarding the Graceland estate, blocking its foreclosure sale . At the beginning of Wednesday's hearing, Chancellor Jenkins said the court had received a request from Gregory Naussany of Jacksonville, Florida, to delay the injunction hearing.

In the email statement riddled with grammatical errors, Gregory Naussany said:

"Due to the Deed of Trust not being recorded and the loan being obtained in different state, legal action would have to be filed in multiple states and NAUSSANY Investments & Private Lending will not acquire to proceed. That comes from consultation of the lawyers for the company. There was no harm meant on Ms. Keough for her mothers LMP mis habits and mis managing of money. The company will be withdrawing all claims with prejudice."

In a follow-up email, Gregory Naussany said that Kurt Naussany is not affiliated with Naussany Investments and Private Lending and has not been since 2015. The full email reads as follows:

"Please make it NOTED ASAP Kurt NAUSSANY is not affiliated with NAUSSANY Investments & Private Lending and has not been since 2015 nor does he have any claims with this situation. 

I’m the lender in this case, and I will let it be known that LMP has taken out multiple loans with my firm since 2008. It’s not Keough fault for her mothers mis conduct of mishandling money and not paying her obligations. 

And no need to contact any further!!!!"

The aforementioned "LMP" presumably refers to Lisa Marie Presley. In the foreclosure case, Naussany alleges Lisa Marie Presley took out a $450,000 loan in August 2015 with the company, which rose to $3.8 million in unpaid debt and led to the foreclosure listing.

When The Commercial Appeal reached out to Kurt Naussany for comment regarding Wednesday morning's hearing, it did so with the email mentioned in the lawsuit. In response, the presumed Kurt Naussany forwarded The Commercial Appeal Gregory Naussany's email address which differed and was a Hotmail account. A third Naussany Investments email associated with the company is also different and mentioned in the initial countersuit filed by Riley Keough, who inherited the Graceland estate after her mother, Lisa Marie Presley, died in January 2023.

Memphis-based law firm Morton and Germany is representing Keough and the Promenade Trust. Jeff Germany of Morton and Germany could not be reached for comment.

Neil Strebig is a journalist with The Commercial Appeal. He can be reached at  [email protected] , 901-426-0679 or via X/Twitter, @neilStrebig .