essay on family issues

Essay about Family: What It Is and How to Nail It

Humans naturally seek belonging within families, finding comfort in knowing someone always cares. Yet, families can also stir up insecurities and mental health struggles.

Family dynamics continue to intrigue researchers across different fields. Every year, new studies explore how these relationships shape our minds and emotions.

In this article, our dissertation service will guide you through writing a family essay. You can also dive into our list of topics for inspiration and explore some standout examples to spark your creativity.

What is Family Essay

A family essay takes a close look at the bonds and experiences within families. It's a common academic assignment, especially in subjects like sociology, psychology, and literature.

So, what's involved exactly? Simply put, it's an exploration of what family signifies to you. You might reflect on cherished family memories or contemplate the portrayal of families in various media.

What sets a family essay apart is its personal touch. It allows you to express your own thoughts and experiences. Moreover, it's versatile – you can analyze family dynamics, reminisce about family customs, or explore other facets of familial life.

If you're feeling uncertain about how to write an essay about family, don't worry; you can explore different perspectives and select topics that resonate with various aspects of family life.

Tips For Writing An Essay On Family Topics

A family essay typically follows a free-form style, unless specified otherwise, and adheres to the classic 5-paragraph structure. As you jot down your thoughts, aim to infuse your essay with inspiration and the essence of creative writing, unless your family essay topics lean towards complexity or science.

Here are some easy-to-follow tips from our essay service experts:

• Focus on a Specific Aspect: Instead of a broad overview, delve into a specific angle that piques your interest, such as exploring how birth order influences sibling dynamics or examining the evolving role of grandparents in modern families.
• Share Personal Anecdotes: Start your family essay introduction with a personal touch by sharing stories from your own experiences. Whether it's about a favorite tradition, a special trip, or a tough time, these stories make your writing more interesting.
• Use Real-life Examples: Illustrate your points with concrete examples or anecdotes. Draw from sources like movies, books, historical events, or personal interviews to bring your ideas to life.
• Explore Cultural Diversity: Consider the diverse array of family structures across different cultures. Compare traditional values, extended family systems, or the unique hurdles faced by multicultural families.
• Take a Stance: Engage with contentious topics such as homeschooling, reproductive technologies, or governmental policies impacting families. Ensure your arguments are supported by solid evidence.
• Delve into Psychology: Explore the psychological underpinnings of family dynamics, touching on concepts like attachment theory, childhood trauma, or patterns of dysfunction within families.
• Emphasize Positivity: Share uplifting stories of families overcoming adversity or discuss strategies for nurturing strong, supportive family bonds.
• Offer Practical Solutions: Wrap up your essay by proposing actionable solutions to common family challenges, such as fostering better communication, achieving work-life balance, or advocating for family-friendly policies.

Family Essay Topics

When it comes to writing, essay topics about family are often considered easier because we're intimately familiar with our own families. The more you understand about your family dynamics, traditions, and experiences, the clearer your ideas become.

If you're feeling uninspired or unsure of where to start, don't worry! Below, we have compiled a list of good family essay topics to help get your creative juices flowing. Whether you're assigned this type of essay or simply want to explore the topic, these suggestions from our history essay writer are tailored to spark your imagination and prompt meaningful reflection on different aspects of family life.

So, take a moment to peruse the list. Choose the essay topics about family that resonate most with you. Then, dive in and start exploring your family's stories, traditions, and connections through your writing.

• Supporting Family Through Tough Times
• Staying Connected with Relatives
• Empathy and Compassion in Family Life
• Strengthening Bonds Through Family Gatherings
• Quality Time with Family: How Vital Is It?
• Navigating Family Relationships Across Generations
• Learning Kindness and Generosity in a Large Family
• Communication in Healthy Family Dynamics
• Forgiveness in Family Conflict Resolution
• Building Trust Among Extended Family
• Defining Family in Today's World
• Understanding Nuclear Family: Various Views and Cultural Differences
• Understanding Family Dynamics: Relationships Within the Family Unit
• What Defines a Family Member?
• Modernizing the Nuclear Family Concept
• Exploring Shared Beliefs Among Family Members
• Evolution of the Concept of Family Love Over Time
• Examining Family Expectations
• Modern Standards and the Idea of an Ideal Family
• Life Experiences and Perceptions of Family Life
• Genetics and Extended Family Connections
• Utilizing Family Trees for Ancestral Links
• The Role of Younger Siblings in Family Dynamics
• Tracing Family History Through Oral Tradition and Genealogy
• Tracing Family Values Through Your Family Tree
• Exploring Your Elder Sister's Legacy in the Family Tree
• Connecting Daily Habits to Family History
• Documenting and Preserving Your Family's Legacy
• Navigating Online Records and DNA Testing for Family History
• Tradition as a Tool for Family Resilience
• Involving Family in Daily Life to Maintain Traditions
• Creating New Traditions for a Small Family
• The Role of Traditions in Family Happiness
• Family Recipes and Bonding at House Parties
• Quality Time: The Secret Tradition for Family Happiness
• The Joy of Cousins Visiting for Christmas
• Including Family in Birthday Celebrations
• Balancing Traditions and Unconditional Love
• Building Family Bonds Through Traditions

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Family Essay Example

For a better grasp of the essay on family, our team of skilled writers has crafted a great example. It looks into the subject matter, allowing you to explore and understand the intricacies involved in creating compelling family essays. So, check out our meticulously crafted sample to discover how to craft essays that are not only well-written but also thought-provoking and impactful.

Final Outlook

In wrapping up, let's remember: a family essay gives students a chance to showcase their academic skills and creativity by sharing personal stories. However, it's important to stick to academic standards when writing about these topics. We hope our list of topics sparked your creativity and got you on your way to a reflective journey. And if you hit a rough patch, you can just ask us to ' do my essay for me ' for top-notch results!

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FAQs on Writing an Essay about Family

Family essays seem like something school children could be assigned at elementary schools, but family is no less important than climate change for our society today, and therefore it is one of the most central research themes.

Below you will find a list of frequently asked questions on family-related topics. Before you conduct research, scroll through them and find out how to write an essay about your family.

How to Write an Essay About Your Family History?

How to write an essay about a family member, how to write an essay about family and roots, how to write an essay about the importance of family.

Daniel Parker

is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

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30+ great argumentative essay topics about family with essay prompts, bob cardens.

• July 31, 2022
• Essay Topics and Ideas , Nursing

To help you get started with argumentative essay writing, we’ve compiled a list of some potential argumentative Essay Topics About Family. Whether you’re looking for something lighthearted or something a little more serious, we’re sure you’ll find something on this list on Topics About Family with essay prompts

Argumentative Essay Topics About Family with prompts

• My Attitudes Towards Marriage And Family

Essay prompt:  Marriage, also recognized as a wedlock or matrimony to others, is regarded as the bottom-most unit in the social setting community is viewed differently by people.

• Impact of Family-Centered Care on an Autistic Patient

Essay prompt:  According to the Institute of Medicine, patient-centered care is health care that respects and responds to individual patient values, needs, and preferences. On the other hand, family-centered care involves a partnership between a family and a care provider in making health care decisions.

• Family and Friends in Life

Essay prompt:  Everyone comes from a family, which no one chooses at birth. However, individuals are privileged to select people they want to be their friends. Family members and friends are important in life since they enable them to overcome various challenges and find happiness through healthy interactions and social.

As you continue,  thestudycorp.com  has the top and most qualified writers to help with any of your assignments. All you need to do is  place an order  with us

• Family Structures. What is a definition of family?

Essay prompt:  Traditional notions of families have greatly evolved in recent years. What used to be a father, mother and children relationship has changed to accommodate polygamy, adoptive children, and extended family members as one.

• What Does Family Mean To You Essay

Essay prompt:  According to me, family means a lot. A family has different meanings such as by definition, friendship, and convenience. Regarding definition, family involves the people that I am related to by blood. What does family mean to you?

You can also check out  150+ Top-Notch Argumentative Essay Topic Ideas

• Process philosophy and family and marriage

Essay prompt:  In discussing one of these topics, the goal is to relate how a particular political perspective derives from process philosophy (such as socialism). In making the connection, incorporate clear references from the required reading.

• Family System Theory

Essay prompt:  Family system theory primarily emphasis on behavioral exchange at any given instance of interaction with family members. The theory supports that the sequence of the interrelationship between members of the family inspires, maintains and prolongs the problem and non-problematic manners.

• Different Family Structures, Nontraditional Family Structures, and Family Systems Theory

Essay prompt:  Today’s generation seems to have a more complex perspective of the world, but much clearer than before. Having these in mind, people do seem to slowly accept and readapt to these great changes that improve their perception of society today.

Further read on  50+ Top And Best Argumentative Essay Topics

• Ethnography. A Comparison Between Zulu Culture And American Culture.

Essay prompt:  In this analysis you may include a discussion of topics such as: economic/labor role, parenthood, child-rearing, marriage/divorce practices, reproductive issues, sexuality, family/kinship structure, household composition, or other topics that may be relevant in the book you read.

• Causes and Effects of Unemployment on the family

Essay prompt:  One of the most increasing issue in the families has become Unemployment, with Shelter, food and clothing topics being largely highlighted, Unemployment has now become a topic of discussion in the family. It is not only the bread winners that feel the loss of lively hood but also the young professionals …

• Family Resource Management Education Term Paper Essay

Essay prompt:  I decided to work on Family Resource Management. This is a very interesting and sensitive area that I think needs to be emphasized much more than the other FLE areas. This is because the basis of any life existence starts from the family set up.

• Marriage and Roles of Women in the Family Portrayed in Mrs. Mallard’s and Mrs. Pontellier

Essay prompt:  The concept of family has been viewed and analyzed from different perspectives across diverse societies all over the world. Most scholars define a family as an entity to different people, in different localities at different periods.

• The Family Of Man In The Society

Essay prompt:  The modern individual in the society is more aware than before as knowledge has increased and activism has been accepted as one of the ways to solve and express an individual’s opinions and problems.

Find out more on  Argumentative Essay Topics About Social Media [Updated]

• Importance of Family Health and The Strategies for Health Promotion

Essay prompt:  Family is a crucial institution in the healthcare sector. The concept of family health is significant in devising a treatment plan for patients and offering healthcare prescriptions. Is family health important? Consider the various strategies for health promotion . How does a nurse determine which strategy to use on family health promotion?

• Significance of Family values (argumentative Essay Topics About Family)

Essay prompt:  In the past, the family was considered a social unit consisting of one or more parents with their children. Today, the definition of family has changed to encompass various family structures.

• Opinion Writing About Can A Blended Family Be Successful?

Essay prompt:  A blended family can be successful when the parents and the children are able to identify the blind spots and tackle the challenges that may bring disharmony on family unity.

• Basic Techniques of Family Therapy Psychology Essay

Essay prompt:  Family therapy can be carried out in various ways. Moreover, alternatives to every aspect of the process exist. However, some guidelines are shared by all the approaches. They serve as the core framework for clinical practice. Family therapy occurs in stages.

Here are  130 + Best Research Topic About Nursing – Types & How To Choose A Nursing Research Topic

• Difference between Pacific and European Families in Family Structure and Authority

Essay prompt:  Difference between Pacific and European Families in Family Structure and Authority Literature and Language Essay.

• The Greatest Of The Franciscan Values (argumentative Essay Topics About Family)

Essay prompt:  1) Live lovingly. 2) Care for creation. 3) Proclaim joy and hope. 4) Be living instruments of peace to all our brothers and sisters in God’s family.

• Addiction as a product of Social Dislocation and Family Stress.

Essay prompt:  Societal addiction to drug and substance use has, and still is, a menace to our human society, prompting extreme measures to be put in place to not only curb, but also try to eradicate the problem.

Here are additional 60+ Top And Best Argumentative Essay Topics For Different Contexts

• Marriage and Family Counselling

Essay prompt:  Family systems have become more complex over time. Some of the systems that did not exist in the past include gay families, childless families, and single-parent families, among others.

• Family Relations and Child-Rearing Practices: How They Changed Postmigration

Essay prompt:  Migrating to another country or place with a completely different culture affects the whole lives of the family. However, while the most obvious difficulties that they face are those concerning with how they deal with other people, it also affects how each member deal with each other such as how they rear.

• The Form and Function of Family

Essay prompt:  The definition of family is a fundamental aspect of diverse medical disciplines. Since this definition shifts from one nation to another and within the countries due to the current times’ shifting realities, experts have suggested redefining this concept to integrate the diverse modern-day family. What is a definition of family that encompasses the different Family structures prevalent today?

• Cognitive-behavioral Family Therapy and Multi-dimensional Family Therapy

Essay prompt:  Populations at risk are considered the populations exposed to the risk of occurrence of a particular event in life. These populations need to be treated differently from other populations to reduce their risk of falling victim to the described event. (argumentative Essay Topics About Family)

• Importance of Functional Theory in Understanding Families

Essay prompt:  One of the critical topics I studied is the institution of the family. Family is an essential social unit making up the overall society. Family is examinable under various sociological views on contemporary families, including functional, conflict, and social interactionist approaches.

• Family: How Has It Been Portrayed Through The Arts And In Real Life?
• Essay prompt:  Reflect on what the word family means and think about how it has been portrayed through the arts and in real life. A family is one of the greatest assets that life gifts each one of us with. It is all we are left with when everything else is gone.
• What Family characteristics may contribute to potential or actual dysfunctional health patterns

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Family Relationships — The Importance of Family Problems and their Solutions

The Importance of Family Problems and Their Solutions

• Categories: Family Relationships

About this sample

Words: 510 |

Published: Feb 7, 2024

Words: 510 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

Families play a vital role in society, financial difficulties are a leading cause of family problems, the effects of family problems can be far-reaching and long-lasting, solutions to family problems vary depending on the nature of the issue, prevention is always better than cure.

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109 Family Problems Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

Inside This Article

Family is the cornerstone of society, but no family is without its problems. From communication issues to financial struggles, there are countless challenges that families face on a daily basis. If you are struggling to come up with a topic for your family problems essay, look no further. Here are 109 family problems essay topic ideas and examples to inspire you:

• The impact of divorce on children
• Sibling rivalry and jealousy
• Parental favoritism and its effects on siblings
• Balancing work and family life
• Addiction and its impact on family dynamics
• Mental health issues within the family
• Communication breakdowns and misunderstandings
• Financial struggles and the stress it causes in families
• Cultural differences and conflicts within families
• The role of extended family members in family problems
• Co-parenting challenges after divorce
• The effects of domestic violence on children
• Infidelity and its impact on the family unit
• Teenage rebellion and parent-child conflicts
• Blended families and the challenges they face
• The pressure to conform to societal expectations within families
• Generational differences and conflicts within families
• The impact of technology on family relationships
• The role of gender in family dynamics
• Coping with loss and grief within the family
• The effects of substance abuse on family relationships
• The importance of boundaries within families
• Parenting styles and their impact on children
• The role of religion in family conflicts
• The effects of trauma on family relationships
• The impact of social media on family communication
• The stigma surrounding mental health issues in families
• The effects of chronic illness on family dynamics
• The impact of unemployment on families
• The role of education in overcoming family problems
• The effects of parental neglect on children
• The impact of divorce on adult children
• The role of family therapy in addressing family problems
• The effects of poverty on family relationships
• The impact of incarceration on families
• The role of forgiveness in healing family relationships
• The effects of sibling separation on family dynamics
• The impact of military deployment on families
• The role of step-parents in blended families
• The effects of child abuse on family relationships
• The impact of parental conflict on children
• The role of family traditions in maintaining family unity
• The effects of mental illness on family dynamics
• The impact of infertility on couples and families
• The role of substance abuse treatment in healing family relationships
• The effects of divorce on sibling relationships
• The impact of technology addiction on family communication
• The role of family values in overcoming family problems
• The effects of divorce on grandparents and extended family members
• The impact of cultural differences on family relationships
• The role of family support systems in overcoming challenges
• The effects of financial stress on family unity
• The impact of parental expectations on children
• The role of family counseling in addressing family conflicts
• The effects of divorce on adult siblings
• The impact of mental health stigma on family relationships
• The role of trauma-informed care in healing family relationships
• The effects of parental substance abuse on children
• The impact of social isolation on family dynamics
• The role of community resources in supporting families in crisis
• The effects of parental incarceration on children
• The impact of divorce on family holidays and traditions
• The role of resilience in overcoming family challenges
• The effects of chronic illness on family communication
• The impact of parental conflict on sibling relationships
• The role of healthy boundaries in maintaining family unity
• The effects of domestic violence on family communication
• The impact of addiction on family holidays and celebrations
• The role of empathy in healing family relationships
• The effects of financial abuse on family dynamics
• The impact of technology addiction on sibling relationships
• The role of forgiveness in repairing family rifts
• The effects of parental neglect on family communication
• The impact of mental illness on family holidays and celebrations
• The role of education in overcoming family conflicts
• The effects of substance abuse on family communication
• The impact of parental favoritism on sibling relationships
• The role of cultural differences in family conflicts
• The effects of trauma on family communication
• The impact of generational differences on family relationships
• The role of coping mechanisms in overcoming family challenges
• The effects of social media on family unity
• The impact of parental expectations on family communication
• The role of family therapy in healing family rifts
• The effects of sibling rivalry on family dynamics

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Home Essay Samples Life

Essay Samples on Family

This area of study will be relevant to students majoring in Education, Psychology, Healthcare, and Sociology. Those learners who must compose essays on family may deal with anything from legislation and divorce issues to domestic abuse and family relations all over the world. In case you are not able to provide an excellent paper on family, consider exploring your grading rubric again and think about something that inspires you. Think about family values and provide your readers with interesting facts or statistical information that is worth researching. When all else fails, take a look at our free family essay examples. These cover a wide range of subjects that will be suitable for educators, legal specialists, sociologists, and psychologists, among others. We even have case studies and family examples from famous literary works. Combine several examples as you compose your own to provide an even greater scope of a subject. Remember to provide citations for every idea that is not yours as a way to avoid plagiarism issues. When you explore our free family essay samples, see how to structure your writing by using the final part as a place to set a moral lesson or create a call to action.

How Does Family Influence Your Identity

Family is a powerful force that weaves the threads of our identity. The relationships, values, and experiences within our family unit play a significant role in shaping who we become. This essay delves into how family influences our identity, from the formation of core beliefs...

• Personal Identity

Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

A broken family, characterized by divorce, separation, or strained relationships among family members, can have profound effects on individuals and society as a whole. This essay delves into the cause and effect of broken families, and examines the far-reaching consequences on emotional well-being, academic performance,...

What Does Family Mean to You: A Lifelong Treasure

Family is more than just a group of people who share a bloodline or a last name. It is a profound and intricate web of connections, emotions, and shared experiences that shape us into who we are. When asked, "What does family mean to you?"...

• Family Values

My Family: Exploring the Roots of Love and Unity

Family is the cornerstone of our lives, the haven where we find solace, support, and unconditional love. As I reflect upon the significance of my family, I am reminded of the deep bonds that tie us together and the invaluable lessons I've learned from each...

• Family Relationships

How I Celebrate Christmas: One Holiday, Two Celebrations

Christmas is a cherished time for my family, where we celebrate the season in two distinct ways. In this essay I want to share how I celebrate Christmas and discuss the intricacies of each tradition, as they hold a special place in our hearts. Celebrating...

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A Reflection on What Family Means to Me

Most of us have the same description of the family, we describe it as a group of people with a relationship by blood or they are biologically connected to each other. The ideal family always starts with father and mother then followed by one or...

• Marriage and Family

Ethnographic Study Of One’s Family Origin

One may ask the question, exactly what is a family? A family is like a house, build on a strong foundation. The foundation is like the ancestors and grandparents, built to hold everything together. If the foundation breaks, then so does the family. The teachings...

• Ethnography

The Novel "Everyday Use" By Alice Walker: A Literary Analysis

In the story “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker introduces two sisters with opposite personalities and unique views on heritage. The purpose of this essay is to conduct a literary analysis of the story “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker.  Maggie and Dee -  different personalities, contrast...

• Alice Walker
• Everyday Use

My Experience Of Savoring Traditional Guatemalan Breakfast During The Family Visit

The last Sunday morning before I came to MSU my family and I decided to get together for breakfast. Since it was one of the last days that I was going to be in Guatemala we decided to make the traditional Guatemalan breakfast, the “Desayuno...

• Cultural Identity

Semiotic Analysis Of The American Family Image In Family Guy

The idea of family shifts as currently construed significantly differs from the notions held for the typical 50s family. For anybody who has watched the popular TV show Family Guy, representation of ideal family behaviors are but a façade. The expectations for a perfect family...

Mixing Reality with Dreams in Inception

Apart from Cobb’s own family, Saito plays a critical part in suggesting that in the ending, Cobb has returned to reality. This can be shown through the repetition and the correlation of few scenes. To start off, the lines “...to become an old man, filled...

Best topics on Family

1. How Does Family Influence Your Identity

2. Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

3. What Does Family Mean to You: A Lifelong Treasure

4. My Family: Exploring the Roots of Love and Unity

5. How I Celebrate Christmas: One Holiday, Two Celebrations

6. A Reflection on What Family Means to Me

7. Ethnographic Study Of One’s Family Origin

8. The Novel “Everyday Use” By Alice Walker: A Literary Analysis

9. My Experience Of Savoring Traditional Guatemalan Breakfast During The Family Visit

10. Semiotic Analysis Of The American Family Image In Family Guy

11. Mixing Reality with Dreams in Inception

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Common family issues & how to deal with them, from experts.

No family is perfect, but for people whose family life has never been outright "bad," it can be tricky to spot family issues as they arise. Family problems are much more than abuse or addiction, for example, and include a host of different things that affect every member of a family. Here's how to spot family issues and deal with them, according to experts.

What are family issues? 

Family problems or issues include any sort of dynamic, behavior, and/or pattern that disrupts the household or family at large. They can range from smaller, more common challenges like clashing personalities or divvying up household chores, to more intense issues like having a narcissistic parent , abuse, or intergenerational trauma, according to licensed psychotherapist  Babita Spinelli, L.P.

The main thing with any family issue is that it creates stress and tension within the family, which in turn negatively affects the members of that family, particularly if there are young children involved.

Types of family issues:

Clashing and/or toxic personalities.

Starting off basic, it's far from uncommon for a family to have clashing personalities. Perhaps siblings don't get along with one another, or one child doesn't get along with one or both parents, psychotherapist  Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, tells mbg.

This can go a big step further when you're dealing with someone who displays narcissistic tendencies or other toxic traits , Spinelli adds, which introduces a bunch of other issues into the family unit, such as gaslighting or explosive fighting.

Poor communication

Nuñez and Spinelli both note that lack of open and healthy communication is at the root of many more general family problems. As Spinelli explains, if it's really difficult to actually speak to a family member, if there are trust issues , if they dismiss you, or issues get swept under the rug, those are all family issues surrounding communication.

Heavy pressure from parents

Perfectionism within a family can have extremely negative effects on children and their self-worth. As Nuñez notes, when parents shame or dictate how children should feel or be, it can take a toll on their ability to grow as individuals. "Parents do need to have some boundaries but not when it gets to the point where it's emotionally abusive," she explains.

Things like conditional love, or a deep sense of pressure to meet the expectations of your family, indicate some family issues, Spinelli adds. It could even lead to what's known as golden child syndrome .

Different parenting styles

One of the biggest hurdles of parenting as a couple is figuring out how to combine your parenting styles in an effective way. When you can't, it can cause some problems.

"It can cause a lot of tension when parents aren't on the same page with parenting," Nuñez tells mbg. And if you're dealing with extended family, Spinelli adds, having the input of in-laws when it comes to your parenting can also cause some problems.

So many families will deal with challenges surrounding finances, budgeting, and employment. Spinelli says money problems can include one parent making all the money and feeling burdened, not having enough basic funds for what you need, generational issues around poverty or gambling, and so much more. Money touches most areas of our life, and if there are issues here, the effects will be felt within any family.

Managing the household

It might seem juvenile, but chores really matter. If one person is carrying the weight of maintaining the household , that's a lot of responsibility and pressure. Nuñez notes it's important for household labor to be divided up in a fair and age-appropriate way, so one parent doesn't feel taken advantage of, and children begin learning how to take care of themselves.

Unchecked addiction or mental health issues

If a parent (or even a child) is dealing with mental health issues or addiction, that can cause a huge rift within a family unit. It's important for those things to not only be addressed but also talked about in an open and honest way.

As Nuñez explains, "If a parent feels like they're hiding mental illness or any type of substance abuse from a child, kids pick up on that. They pick up on those nonverbal cues of inconsistency, and children do need consistency to have a strong family foundation and feel secure."

Constant arguing

If you grew up thinking constant arguing was normal, according to Spinelli, it's very much not. "Some people don't realize that the constant bickering and arguing is actually an issue—they're just so used to it. They don't realize that when there's yelling or screaming and arguing, that actually creates stress and tension."

It's not uncommon, but yes, divorce certainly does disrupt a family unit and can cause problems when it's swept under the rug. "You'd be surprised how many people haven't processed divorce in the family," Spinelli says, adding, "It really does impact how you see relationships, and models fears around relationships, and often people don't even talk about it in the family."

While it can be hard to avoid, distance within a family can cause a lot of issues around expectations and boundaries, according to Spinelli. For example, as the holidays approach, there are often arguments around who's visiting whom, why someone has decided not to visit that year, and so on, she explains.

Codependency

" Codependency comes in all shapes and sizes," Spinelli tells mbg. While some instances of codependency are mild, the more enmeshment you find within a family, the more the individual members of that family will have a hard time distinguishing their own wants, needs, and desires, she says.

Scheduling conflicts

Nuñez notes that another common family issue is scheduling conflicts. If one or more family members has a busy schedule, it can be hard to connect together and make time for each other. This can look like one parent who works long hours and is rarely home during the day, or issues with scheduling as children get more involved with extracurriculars, she explains.

Intergenerational trauma

Last but not least, intergenerational trauma is a huge, often unaddressed family problem that stems back through generations. According to Spinelli, if past generations experienced things like extreme poverty, racial trauma, sudden death, addiction, mental health issues, and so much more, all of that can be passed down through generations.

"If something has happened in the previous generation, and that family member never dealt with it, that fight-or-flight and what they went through seeps into the other family members," Spinelli says.

How family issues affect us.

There are so many ways all of the aforementioned family issues can affect the members of that family, particularly children in their formative years of life. For example, "Children may start having behavioral issues, which then in return causes parents to get upset and the kids act out more," Nuñez explains. And that's just one more immediate example.

Our childhood experiences play out in adulthood through attachment wounds , as we bring those dysfunctional patterns into our adult relationships, she adds. "Let's say a parent leaves at a developmental age where a child needs a parent, for example. That brings up abandonment issues ," she notes.

Overall, a significant number of unaddressed family issues can make people feel that they don't have true safety in their lives, Spinelli says. "It's going to lead into attachment issues. Maybe they've dealt with abuse, neglect, abandonment, which has created an insecure attachment . They may also become an avoidant because they've never been modeled unconditional love by their primary caregiver," she explains.

Signs of family issues:

• Difficulty with open, honest, and healthy communication
• Frequent fights or bickering
• Frequent yelling and screaming
• Passive-aggressive behavior
• An absent parent or parents (physically and/or emotionally)
• Abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, and/or verbal abuse )
• Codependent behavior and/or enmeshment
• Struggles around finances or employment
• Perfectionism or high standards within the family
• Disagreements on household chores, parenting styles, etc.
• Tension in the household for no clear reason
• Difficulty trusting family members

What to do if you're dealing with family issues:

Identify what the specific issue is..

If you're getting the sense that you're dealing with some family dysfunction, the first thing you'll want to do is get clear on what specifically you're dealing with. Is it controlling parents ? Scheduling conflicts? Lack of communication?

Whatever the issue, Nuñez and Spinelli both note recognizing it is the first step. From there, you can begin processing how you want to bring it up to your family members, which brings us to our next point.

Talk about it.

Nothing gets solved by sweeping it under the rug, and family issues are no exception. Nuñez and Spinelli both say you'll want to address any issues weighing on your mind, even if it's not easy.

"Give yourself permission to say 'Hey, I feel angry or resentful, and I need to talk about this,'" Spinelli says. And as Nuñez notes, you can soften the blow using language that's not directed at them, opting for "I" statements, rather than "you" statements (i.e., "I feel sad when you miss dinner," instead of "You always miss dinner; you're so inconsiderate.")

Nuñez also adds that it's a good idea to pick a low-stress time when you can give each other your undivided attention and energy. (So, probably not around the holidays.)

Consider seeking professional help.

Once you've aired out some of your concerns, it may be necessary to ask for the help of a professional. Whether you opt for individual therapy, couples' therapy , or family therapy is up to you and your family, but any of them can certainly help in understanding how family problems have affected you—and how to deal with them.

"And even if a family doesn't go to therapy, it's important for every person to feel like they have a voice in their family, and to speak up, and to really voice what they need within that unit," Nuñez says.

Set boundaries.

And last but certainly not least, when all else fails, boundaries with family are a necessity in keeping a family dynamic as healthy as possible for everyone. "Really think about the ways you can set boundaries and give yourself permission," Spinelli says.

Whether you opt out of going to every family gathering, keep your distance from family members who make you uncomfortable or angry, or simply tell a family member when their behavior is unacceptable to you, Spinelli says you're completely in your right to do so.

The bottom line.

No family is without a little dysfunction. After all, it was spiritual icon Ram Dass who once said, "'If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family."

But no matter how many problems your family seems to be facing, all it takes is one of you to identify the problems at hand, work through them, and break the chain for future generations.

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Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Family Conflict Is Normal; It’s the Repair That Matters

Three months into the pandemic, I had the urge to see my 28-year-old daughter and her husband, 2,000 miles away. She had weathered an acute health crisis, followed by community protests that propelled them both onto the streets to serve food and clean up neighborhoods. They were coping, but the accumulation of challenges made the mom in me want to connect with and support them. So, together with my husband, my other daughter, and her husband, our family of six adults and two dogs formed a new pod inside my daughter’s home in the steamy heat of the Minneapolis summer.

As I packed, a wisp of doubt crept in. We six hadn’t lived together under the same roof, ever . Would I blow it? Would I “flap my lips,” as a friend calls it, and accidentally say something hurtful? Some time back, in a careless moment of exhaustion, I had insulted my brand-new son-in-law with a thoughtless remark. He was rightfully hurt, and it took a long letter and a phone call to get us back on track.

My own siblings and I were raised inside the intractable rupture that was my parents’ marriage. Their lifelong conflict sowed discord and division in everyone around them. I worked hard to create a different, positive family climate with my husband and our children. My old ghosts were haunting me, though, and I didn’t want to ruin a good thing. 

Yet research shows that it’s not realistic, or possible, or even healthy to expect that our relationships will be harmonious all the time. Everything we know from developmental science and research on families suggests that rifts will happen—and what matters more is how you respond to them. With many families spending more time together than ever now, there are ample opportunities for tension and hurt feelings. These moments also offer ample invitations to reconnect.

Disconnections are a fact of life

Researcher Ed Tronick, together with colleague Andrew Gianino, calculated how often infants and caregivers are attuned to each other. (Attunement is a back-and-forth rhythm of interaction where partners share positive emotions.) They found that it’s surprisingly little. Even in healthy, securely attached relationships, caregivers and babies are in sync only 30% of the time. The other 70%, they’re mismatched, out of synch, or making repairs and coming back together. Cheeringly, even babies work toward repairs with their gazes, smiles, gestures, protests, and calls.

These mismatches and repairs are critical, Tronick explains. They’re important for growing children’s self-regulation, coping, and resilience. It is through these mismatches—in small, manageable doses—that babies, and later children, learn that the world does not track them perfectly. These small exposures to the micro-stress of unpleasant feelings, followed by the pleasant feelings that accompany repair, or coming back together, are what give them manageable practice in keeping their boat afloat when the waters are choppy. Put another way, if a caregiver met all of their child’s needs perfectly, it would actually get in the way of the child’s development. 
 “Repairing ruptures is the most essential thing in parenting,” says UCLA neuropsychiatrist Dan Siegel , director of the Mindsight Institute and author of several books on interpersonal neurobiology.

Life is a series of mismatches, miscommunications, and misattunements that are quickly repaired, says Tronick , and then again become miscoordinated and stressful, and again are repaired. This occurs thousands of times in a day, and millions of times over a year.

Greater Good in Spanish

Read this article in Spanish on La Red Hispana, the public-facing media outlet and distribution house of HCN , focused on educating, inspiring, and informing 40 million U.S. Hispanics.

Other research shows that children have more conflicts and repairs with friends than non-friends. Sibling conflict is legendary; and adults’ conflicts escalate when they become parents. If interpersonal conflict is unavoidable—and even necessary—then the only way we can maintain important relationships is to get better at re-synchronizing them, and especially at tending to repairs when they rupture.

“Relationships shrink to the size of the field of repair,” says Rick Hanson , psychologist and author of several books on the neuroscience of well-being. “But a bid for a repair is one of the sweetest and most vulnerable and important kinds of communication that humans offer to each other,” he adds. “It says you value the relationship.”

Strengthening the family fabric

In a small Canadian study , researchers examined how parents of four- to seven-year-old children strengthened, harmed, or repaired their relationships with their children. Parents said their relationships with their children were strengthened by “horizontal” or egalitarian exchanges like playing together, negotiating, taking turns, compromising, having fun, or sharing psychological intimacy—in other words, respecting and enjoying one another. Their relationships were harmed by an over-reliance on power and authority, and especially by stonewalling tactics like the “silent treatment.” When missteps happened, parents repaired and restored intimacy by expressing warmth and affection, talking about what happened, and apologizing.

This model of strengthening, harming, and repairing can help you think about your own interactions. When a family relationship is already positive, there is a foundation of trust and a belief in the other’s good intentions, which helps everyone restore more easily from minor ruptures. For this reason, it helps to proactively tend the fabric of family relationships. 
 That can begin with simply building up an investment of positive interactions:

• Spend “special time” with each child individually to create more space to deepen your one-to-one relationship. Let them control the agenda and decide how long you spend together.
• Appreciate out loud, share gratitude reflections, and notice the good in your children intermittently throughout the day or week.

You also want to watch out for ways you might harm the relationship. If you’re ever unsure about a child’s motives, check their intentions behind their behaviors and don’t assume they were ill-intentioned. Language like, “I noticed that…” or “Tell me what happened…” or “And then what happened?” can help you begin to understand an experience from the child’s point of view.

A Loving Space for Kids’ Emotions

Show love to your children by helping them process emotions

When speaking to a child, consider how they might receive what you’re saying. Remember that words and silence have weight; children are “ emotional Geiger counters ” and read your feelings much more than they process your words. If you are working through feelings or traumas that have nothing to do with them, take care to be responsible for your own feelings and take a moment to calm yourself before speaking.

In this context of connection and understanding, you can then create a family culture where rifts are expected and repairs are welcomed:

• Watch for tiny bids for repairs . Sometimes we have so much on our minds that we miss the look, gesture, or expression in a child that shows that what they really want is to reconnect.
• Normalize requests like “I need a repair” or “Can we have a redo?” We need to be able to let others know when the relationship has been harmed.
• Likewise, if you think you might have stepped on someone’s toes, circle back to check. Catching a misstep early can help.

When you’re annoyed by a family member’s behavior, try to frame your request for change in positive language; that is, say what you want them to do rather than what you don’t. Language like, “I have a request…” or “Would you be willing to…?” keeps the exchange more neutral and helps the recipient stay engaged rather than getting defensive.

You can also model healthy repairs with people around you, so they are normalized and children see their usefulness in real time. Children benefit when they watch adults resolve conflict constructively.


Four steps to an authentic repair

There are infinite varieties of repairs, and they can vary in a number of ways, depending on your child’s age and temperament, and how serious the rift was.

Infants need physical contact and the restoration of love and security. Older children need affection and more words. Teenagers may need more complex conversations. Individual children vary in their styles—some need more words than others, and what is hurtful to one child may not faze another child. Also, your style might not match the child’s, requiring you to stretch further.

Some glitches are little and may just need a check-in, but deeper wounds need more attention. Keep the apology in proportion to the hurt. What’s important is not your judgment of how hurt someone should be, but the actual felt experience of the child’s hurt. A one-time apology may suffice, but some repairs need to be acknowledged frequently over time to really stitch that fabric back together. It’s often helpful to check in later to see if the amends are working.

While each repair is unique, authentic repairs typically involve the same steps.

1. Acknowledge the offense. First, try to understand the hurt you caused. It doesn’t matter if it was unintentional or what your reasons were. This is the time to turn off your own defense system and focus on understanding and naming the other person’s pain or anger.

Sometimes you need to check your understanding. Begin slowly: “Did I hurt you? Help me understand how.” This can be humbling and requires that we listen with an open heart as we take in the other person’s perspective.

Try not to undermine the apology by adding on any caveats, like blaming the child for being sensitive or ill-behaved or deserving of what happened. Any attempt to gloss over, minimize, or dilute the wound is not an authentic repair. Children have a keen sense for authenticity. Faking it or overwhelming them will not work.

A spiritual teacher reminded me of an old saying, “It is acknowledging the wound that gets the thorn out.” It’s what reconnects our humanity.

Making an Effective Apology

A good apology involves more than saying "sorry"

2. Express remorse. Here, a sincere “I’m sorry” is sufficient.

Don’t add anything to it. One of the mistakes adults often make, according to therapist and author Harriet Lerner , is to tack on a discipline component: “Don’t let it happen again,” or “Next time, you’re really going to get it.” This, says Lerner, is what prevents children from learning to use apologies themselves. 
 Apologizing can be tricky for adults. It might feel beneath us, or we may fear that we’re giving away our power. We shouldn’t have to apologize to a child, because as adults we are always right, right? Of course not. But it’s easy to get stuck in a vertical power relationship to our child that makes backtracking hard.

On the other hand, some adults—especially women, says Rick Hanson —can go overboard and be too effusive, too obsequious, or even too quick in their efforts to apologize. This can make the apology more about yourself than the person who was hurt. Or it could be a symptom of a need for one’s own boundary work.   

There is no perfect formula for an apology except that it be delivered in a way that acknowledges the wound and makes amends. And there can be different paths to that. Our family sometimes uses a jokey, “You were right, I was wrong, you were right, I was wrong, you were right, I was wrong,” to playfully acknowledge light transgressions. Some apologies are nonverbal: My father atoned for missing all of my childhood birthdays when he traveled 2,000 miles to surprise me at my doorstep for an adult birthday. Words are not his strong suit, but his planning, effort, and showing up was the repair. Apologies can take on all kinds of tones and qualities.

3. Consider offering a brief explanation. If you sense that the other person is open to listening, you can provide a brief explanation of your point of view, but use caution, as this can be a slippery slope. Feel into how much is enough. The focus of the apology is on the wounded person’s experience. If an explanation helps, fine, but it shouldn’t derail the intent. This is not the time to add in your own grievances—that’s a conversation for a different time.

4. Express your sincere intention to fix the situation and to prevent it from happening again. With a child, especially, try to be concrete and actionable about how the same mistake can be prevented in the future. “I’m going to try really hard to…” and “Let’s check back in to see how it’s feeling…” can be a start.

Remember to forgive yourself, too. This is a tender process, we are all works in progress, and adults are still developing. I know I am.

Prior to our visit, my daughter and I had a phone conversation. We shared our excitement about the rare chance to spend so much time together. Then we gingerly expressed our concerns.

 “I’m afraid we’ll get on each other’s nerves,” I said.

“I’m afraid I’ll be cooking and cleaning the whole time,” she replied.

So we strategized about preventing these foibles. She made a spreadsheet of chores where everyone signed up for a turn cooking and cleaning, and we discussed the space needs that people would have for working and making phone calls.

Then I drew a breath and took a page from the science. “I think we have to expect that conflicts are going to happen,” I said. “It’s how we work through them that will matter. The love is in the repair.”

This article is excerpted from a longer article on Diana Divecha’s blog, developmentalscience.com.

About the Author

Diana Divecha

Diana Divecha, Ph.D. , is a developmental psychologist, an assistant clinical professor at the Yale Child Study Center and Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and on the advisory board of the Greater Good Science Center. Her blog is developmentalscience.com .

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Family Dysfunction in the Glass Menagerie

“Williams’ continuing presentation of themes previously considered untouchable; of derelicts and misfits, outcasts from a materialistic society; and of the thin line between sanity and insanity, he has revealed a broken world not often portrayed” (Falk 101). Tennessee Williams is a protest writer in the five-character memory play; he seems to share this sentiment in a collection of long plays; one of which is “The Glass Menagerie”. The play is about what is good for the family’s future; each character, […]

Family Name in “Death of a Salesman” by Arthur Miller

What does a name really mean? What does it represent? Does your last name affect how others see you just because of how that name was represented by your ancestors? In many cases, yes. A name can affect your reputation positively or negatively. Many times people can get too caught up in their work or personal situations and don’t put enough time or energy into their kids and helping them develop into productive citizens in order to carry on their […]

Hispanic Family in ‘The House on Mango Street’

Sandra Cisneros is the author of the house on Mango Street. She wrote the book in 1984 which was awarded many prestigious awards to include the Columbus foundation’s American book award. She comes from a large Hispanic family where she was one of seven children and the only girl. She’s a very educated person who got her English degree from the University of Iowa. She wrote many books for example women hollering creek and other stories which was awarded many […]

Substance Abuse and Family Struggles

People that suffer from substance abuse have a hard time going through rehab therapy due to the lack of support from family members. I believe that family members should join family therapy because there is always something new that a person can learn about themselves. Also, families can also learn something new about other family members. What are some of the issues surrounding substance abuse? Substance abuse affects the lively hood of a person, it also can affect a person's […]

Effects of Drug Abuse on Families

Abstract In the USA, the family units have emerged to much complicated. Families continue to evolve ranging from the extended, nuclear and up to the single parenting family setups. Others are the stepfamilies, multigenerational and the foster types of families. Thus, abuse by a member of the family of substances may result in differences based on the formation of the family itself. This paper presents a discussion on the issues of treatment that may emerge within the various structures of […]

Family Violence and Child Abuse

Family Violence and Child Abuse Seldomly do people realize how often child are abused by parents, not always through violence, but in other various factors that can traumatize a child. The textbook Heavy Hands written by Denise Kindschi Gosselin has an entire chapter on child abuse and the different types of abuse that are involved against these children. Historical accounts tell us that children have always been abused and neglected by one or both parents; it is not uncommon or […]

Feminism in “Family Bonds/Conceptual Binds” by Oyeronke Oyewumi

Nigerian sociologist Oyeronke Oyewumi is specialized in the sociology of gender, culture, race, knowledge, sociology of inequalities, decolonial, and pan-African studies. In African studies, the production of knowledge has been a privilege of the West, that is, Western constructions are assumed universal too often. In Oyewunmi’s article, “Family Bonds/Conceptual Binds,” she argues that feminism is all about white people (white feminism), and how Euro-American women are seen as wife, but African women are seen a mother. (Oyewumi, 2000) For instance, […]

The Family: Diversity, Equality and Social Change by Philip Cohen

The family unit consists of a great variety of different structures and different identities. It is common for one to view families as sharing the same values, goals and identities. When it comes to following the family tradition and norm, people within the family can be seen walking down a totally different path. In the book The Family: Diversity, Equality and Social Change, by Philip Cohen, in chapters 4, 5 and 6, the author analyzes families that include class identity, […]

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All families deal with relationship difficulties, small or large, at various times throughout the family experience. Family problems come in all shapes and sizes, impacting family dynamics and shaping family relationships. The ways that family members cope with and solve issues provide a framework for family dynamics and set the tone for family life. 

How to Solve Family Problems

• Create an Environment of Sharing
• Acknowledge the Problem
• Get to the Deeper Issue
• Focus on the Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride
• Get Professional Help

Remember to Take Care of Yourself

Creating a family culture of openness and security, and taking the steps to resolve family issues, can improve relationships and maintain positive family dynamics. 

Common Family Problems

Families face a variety of problems, both large and small. Family conflict and relationship problems can include arguments, miscommunication, and misunderstanding. They also can involve deeper issues such as substance abuse, financial instability, mental illness, grief, health problems, and divorce. Sometimes, these issues exist between only two family members, and other times they spread throughout the entire family, creating extended family issues . Some issues, like grief after the loss of a loved one, appear plainly on the surface, while others can be more subtle. Perhaps your child refuses to communicate with you, or your wife doesn’t seem to be a happily married woman .

Family issues often have underlying causes which are not always apparent.. And yet the impact of these root causes can spread throughout the family, creates conflict or emotional strain in several family relationships. Such conflict is especially impactful on a child’s life, creating emotional difficulties that are often carried from their childhood and adolescence into their adult lives and future family relationships.

Create an Environment of Sharing 

Families are built on relationships, and relationships are strengthened through healthy communication. An environment of sharing creates the foundation for healthy communication. Family members need to feel safe to share their feelings and discuss their issues and emotions. As a family oriented parent , that means allowing your child to share their point of view without fear of judgment or punishment. Sometimes, a child just needs to feel certain that what they say will be taken seriously. A child who feels safe can talk about difficult or emotional subjects, such as mental health, self-identity, anxiety, or substance abuse. Children who feel safe and respected are much more likely to open up to a parent when struggling with a situation or trying to make a difficult decision. This is also true for other family relationships—not just between parent and child, but between siblings and within the marriage.

Ways to achieve an environment of sharing include:

• Listen. Really listen to the other person before providing advice or counsel. Sometimes, it is better to first ask if advice is welcome. If the answer is no, let it go and follow up later.
• Be willing to share your own feelings. Sometimes things seem obvious to us, but they may not be obvious to your child, spouse, or sibling. Sharing your own feelings without placing blame can bring up new points of view.
• Speak for yourself and avoid blame. When sharing your perspective, present it as just that - your perspective and not the facts. 
• Recognize others’ experiences as valid. Telling others how they feel or should feel creates barriers and discourages sharing.
• Be human. Admitting you are wrong, or that you made a mistake, can help others feel more comfortable to admit their own mistakes.
• Model the behavior you want to see. We are all influenced by the people who surround us. Modeling healthy ways to express thoughts and emotions encourages others to do the same.
• Do things together. Families that spend time together engaged in positive activities achieve a sense of closeness that encourages open communication and sharing. Explore shared interests, sports, or service ideas for families . Activities that involve serving others and getting outside are especially fulfilling and often instigate future conversations and closer relationships.

Sharing openly among family members sets the stage for solving family problems and preventing future issues from arising.

Acknowledge the Family Problem 

Sometimes family problems stem from  something simple like a lack of closeness. Other times the problems involve something much more serious, like abuse. Acknowledging that a problem exists is the first step in doing something to fix the situation. Ignoring issues and pretending everything is fine are common unhealthy coping mechanisms for family members experiencing relationship conflict or emotionally difficult situations. 

Lack of acknowledgment can exacerbate issues, fuel negative situations, and culminate in negative or damaging behavior, such as lashing out in anger, aggressive argument, substance abuse, or family violence. Acknowledging a problem as early as possible allows positive action to be taken toward fixing the situation, and may prevent unhealthy coping mechanisms that lead to negative situations.

Sometimes we avoid discussing problems because our past efforts to do so only seemed to make things worse. As a result, we believe that avoiding is better than continuing to fight. In truth, avoiding instead of fighting just leads to other side effects in families. Feeling stuck is often a sign that involving a third party is needed, such as a good marriage and family therapist.

Get to the Deeper Family Issue

After acknowledging that a problem exists, steps can be taken to identify the source of the problem and improve the situation. Most family problems are merely symptoms on the surface of a deeper-rooted cause. Knowing the cause paves the way for greater empathy among family members and illuminates situations that require change. Here are some examples of family problems and their deeper issues:

Conflict between siblings – The majority of families will experience some sibling conflict between children at various times. But if that conflict extends beyond the occasional bickering to consistent emotional arguing or angry or hurtful behavior, then a deeper issue is likely the cause. That deeper issue could involve jealousy or feelings of inadequacy, where one child feels overshadowed by the other. One child could be putting pressure on the other to keep a secret from their parents (such as breaking a rule or lying). The cause could also be external, affecting one child who in turn uses their sibling as a dump truck for unloading their stress, frustration, or anger. 

Alcohol abuse or other substance abuse – Family members who abuse alcohol or other substances are often using the activity as an escape mechanism. They could be escaping from a difficult emotional situation, such as grief over the loss of a loved one, financial instability, marriage conflict, or divorce. Or, they could be escaping from physical pain from illness or other health problems. Professional help from a therapist or support group can help to break down the deeper issues that lead people to substance abuse and start them on the road to recovery.

Stress and anxiety in children – These are common effects of a variety of deeper issues. Often, anxiety is triggered by an event or a difficult situation. The stress that stems from it leads to further anxiety, creating a cyclical pattern. The root of the anxiety could be a social issue at school or concern for a friend. It could relate to feeling overwhelmed in school or struggling with an undiagnosed learning disorder. Children often perceive more than they let on and could be reacting to a passing comment from a parent, such as “Our budget is tight this month.” Talking with your child and maintaining trust through open communication encourages children to reveal the source of their anxiety.

Sometimes, identifying the deeper issue and bringing it out in the open is all it takes to resolve a problem. Other times, merely identifying the root cause is just the beginning of the long road to resolution. This important and necessary step will help to develop a plan for resolving issues and encourage understanding within family relationships.

Focus on the Family Relationship – Let Go of Anger and Pride 

Anger and pride are the enemies of healthy family relationships. They feed negative emotions, hamper empathy and understanding, and thwart positive and open communication. Holding on to these feelings blocks the path to conflict resolution. Anger and pride are divisive to family relationships and damaging to individual mental health. They are fuel for the cyclical patterns of stress, anxiety, and depression. Despite knowing this, however, letting go of such emotions can be difficult – and sometimes painful. The fear of pain, vulnerability, or failure are often what keeps a person from improving their family relationships and focusing on the importance of family .

One of the best ways to move beyond that fear is to focus on the relationship. Prioritize the goal—a healthier, happier relationship—over the fear of being hurt or the fear of failure. When family problems exist, a person has usually been hurt already, which makes the fear of being hurt again even greater. But while that risk of further hurt is real, the potential for healing and resolution is also real. Focusing on that potential, and letting go of those negative emotions, opens the door to healthier communication, relationship healing, and better mental health.

Get Professional Family Help

Getting professional help is one of the best ways to handle family problems. Some situations, such as those involving abuse, dangerous behavior, or domestic violence, require immediate professional help and formal family assessment . In other situations, such as ongoing disagreements over a certain topic or lack of closeness within a marriage, brief therapy help can provide the catalyst you need to get unstuck and achieve the fulfilling relationship that you each desire.

Many people hold back from seeking professional help because of fears or misunderstandings. Here are some facts about therapy that help to debunk some of these common myths and misconceptions:

Therapy is for everyone - A common misconception about therapy is that it is reserved for people with mental illness, individuals with an emotional disorder, or people who are too weak to handle their own problems. This could not be further from the truth. As humans, we need other humans to work through issues with us. Therapy provides a safe, confidential environment to do just that. 

Professional help is available for all types of issues, whether large or small, and in a variety of formats. Family therapy, marriage counseling, support groups, and individual sessions with a therapist are just a few examples. There is also a variety of specialties, including psychology, psychiatry, religious counseling, and much more. At the end of the day, therapy is merely a safe space to work through your family problems with the support of a trained professional.

Therapy is worth your time - Another common misconception is that therapy is a waste of time or money. You could talk to anyone, so why talk to a therapist? Therapists have special expertise gained through extensive professional training. They will not only help you talk about your family issues but will help you to develop strategies for resolving difficult situations. A family therapist can also discuss various types of issues you may be dealing with, and different options for resolution or treatment, such as new scientific approaches to treating a specific issues.

Therapy is safe - One myth about therapy is that there are risks. The risk of being judged (by the therapist or by friends and family) or the risk of being medicated. On the contrary, therapy provides a safe and confidential space to explore all options for healing. Often, professional counseling is all that is needed or desired for family conflict resolution.

Professional help can provide growth and healing for a parent, child, or an entire family, improving family dynamics and emotional health. It can provide mediation and conflict resolution within a marriage, between siblings, or any type of family relationship. Think about the type of support (such as family therapy, religious counseling, or psychiatry) that feels right for your family and seek it out.

It is true that the quality of the professional you work with can make a big difference in the outcome of your therapy. For this reason, it’s often best to seek a referral from a trusted friend or family member. If that feels uncomfortable, consider asking for a referral from your family doctor. If you’ve had a negative experience in the past, consider giving it another try, this time with a trusted referral.

Taking care of yourself and maintaining your mental health is essential when attempting to solve family issues. Maintaining positive, healthy family dynamics starts with a healthy self. Being in a healthy mental space allows you to let go of negative emotions. This, in turn, paves the way for safe and open communication between family members and helps the entire family focus on relationships. 

Not only does this place you in the right frame of mind to address family conflict, but it models a healthy example for your children to do the same. It is integral to maintaining a strong family structure that provides a sense of stability and security for children. For a parent, maintaining your mental health can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to maintain the necessary qualities of a good father and mother, such as understanding and empathy.

Taking care of yourself is often easier said than done, especially while feelings of stress, anxiety, or emotional dissatisfaction prevail. Finding a healthy outlet to decompress and let go of stress and other negative emotions can help to maintain a healthy state of mind. Choose a regular time in your schedule just for maintaining you. This could include a daily exercise routine, a therapeutic hobby (such as gardening or journaling), or a weekly therapy session. Taking care of yourself leaves you open to model healthy behavior for your children and to focus on family relationships.

Impact of Family Problems

When not addressed, family problems can have serious impacts on individual family members. Issues such as increased levels of stress and anxiety, emotional difficulties and disorders (such as depression), substance abuse, and addiction, are all likely to surface. Sometimes, these impacts carry on throughout a child’s life. Family problems can especially impact children, who are often capable of perceiving much more than one might think. Children may also perceive a problem, but not be able to fully understand it. Such misunderstandings can lead to greater issues, further affecting family dynamics and individual emotions. Where family issues exist, acknowledge the problem, and take the steps to resolution.

Solving Family Problems

Families experience a wide range of issues, some small and some large. These issues typically involve strain or conflict within family relationships. They can have lasting impacts on individual family members, especially children. Taking steps to address family issues, and seeking resolution among family relationships can ease emotions, promote mental health, and maintain a positive family culture. A family culture quiz by Kinmundo is an easy way for families to evaluate and improve the culture within their family.  

A positive family culture requires a structure built on family values that maintains a safe environment for sharing. Open communication in an environment safe from fears of judgment provides a model of stability and security for family members to acknowledge and address important issues with understanding and empathy. Creating such a culture is paramount to solving family issues when they arise.

A family that feels open and safe to share emotions, acknowledge issues, and seek help when needed can maintain positive relationships and mental health. When family members are prepared to resolve family conflict, they can reduce the lasting impacts of difficult situations and fix relationships that may seem broken.

5 Ways to Become a More Family Oriented…

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Essay about family problems – Persuasive Essay

In my essay I intend to prove that many family problems are not actual problems and that a simple readjustment of priorities is all that is needed in order to fix the problem. The idea originally came to me whilst watching the movie “Saw 2”. The father and son are having problems in the movie, and then the serial killer in the movie points out that both father and son forget all past indiscretions when the son’s life is threatened. This opened up my mind to the idea that a shift in perspective may be all that is needed in order to fix family problems, and that is what I intend to prove here.

The expectations of parents and children differ in many ways. The child expects increased amounts of independence, whereas the parent expects increased amounts of responsibility from the child. This is a suitable format in which a family may move forwards, but if both parties do not feel that the other is delivering, friction will occur and family problems may arise.

In this case, there may be one perspective that is askew, or both may be askew. For example, the child may be acting with a reasonable amount of responsibility and yet the parents are not seeing it, or the parents may expect an unreasonable amount of responsibility and may even view smaller indiscretions such as a dirty bedroom as a sign of a lack of responsibility.

The child on the other hand may have very incorrect views on how much responsibility he or she is due at whatever age. The child may believe at the age of 11 that he or she can be left alone at night, or that at 15 he or she should be able to drink alcohol. The child may also have a skewered perception of how much responsibility he or she is getting. The child may receive quite a bit of responsibility and not realize it.

There are also times when both parties experience family problems because both do not realize the results of their actions. A child may mess up in a big way on one occasion and not realize that future requests for responsibility will be tarnished by previous actions. The parent may also not realize that there are times when they show their child they have no confidence in that child and it affects the way the child acts in the future. The child may give directions in a train station, but the parent still asks a stranger for directions. This may make the child feel uncomfortable putting his or herself forward for responsibility in the future. Conclusion

In all instances, you can see how a slight change in perspectives can help avoid family problems. This change may be in the way of seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view, and at other times, it may need a change of perspective relating to how one or both parties understand the results of their actions. A slight change in perspective from one or both parties can avoid many family problems.

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• A Research Guide
• Research Paper Topics

40 Family Issues Research Paper Topics

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40 Marriage and Family Research Topics for any Taste

• Parental neglect. Is it enough for a kid to have food, clothes, and shelter to grow up healthy?
• Divorce and its consequences for all the family members. Minimizing the negative impact of divorce
• Toxic and narcissistic parents. Overcoming the trauma of a dysfunctional family
• To live up to the family expectation: what to do if they are too high for a human being?
• Family violence: where is the point of no return?
• Sexual abuse in the family. The strategy of escaping and organizations that can help
• Toxic and abusive relationship. The psychologies issues of breaking up with toxic partner
• Substance abuse in the family. It is always possible to save yourself, but is it possible to save the rest?
• War Veterans and their families. Do Vets the only ones there who need help?
• Accepting the LGBTQ+ member of the family
• Getting out of the closet: what is like to be an LGBTQ+person in a conservative family?
• Loss of a family member: stages of grief of children and adults. How to cope together?
• Religious conflicts in families: what to do and how to solve?
• Teenage delinquency: when it turns to be more than natural seeking independence?
• Fostering a child: what problems can the parents face?
• Generation gap. The difference in morals and culture. Is it normal?
• Living with senile family members: how to cope and avoid emotional burnout?
• Mentally challenged family members: how to integrate them into society?
• The importance of family support for people with disabilities
• Pregnancy and the first year of having a baby: do tiredness and depression make people bad parents?
• The types of relationship in the family: are they healthy and just unusual or something is harmful to family members?
• Life after disasters: how to put life together again? The importance of family support
• The issue of an older sibling. How to make every kid feel equally loved?
• Gender discrimination in families. Gender roles and expectations
• Multicultural families: how do their values get along?
• Children from previous marriages: how to help them accept the new family?
• Childhood traumas of parents: helping them not to transfer them to the next generation
• Every family can meet a crisis: how to live it through in a civilized way?
• Family counseling: why it is so important?
• Accidentally learned the secrets of the family: how to cope with unpleasant truth?
• Adultery: why it happens and what to do to prevent it?
• Career choice: how to save the relationships with the family and not inherit the family business?
• The transition to adult life: the balance between family support and letting the young adult try living their own life
• Unwanted activities: shall the family take warning or it is just trendy now?
• Returning of a family member from prison: caution versus unconditional love
• A family member in distress: what can you do to actually help when someone close to you gets in serious troubles?
• The absence of love. What to do if you should love someone but can’t?
• Ageism in families. Are older people always right?
• Terminal diseases and palliative care. How to give your family member a good life?
• Where can seek help the members of the dysfunctional families?

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Friday essay: ‘My family are always trying to buy us a house.’ We asked couples how class affects their relationships

Senior Lecturer, Macquarie School of Social Sciences, Macquarie University

Senior Research Fellow, Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University

Disclosure statement

Rose Butler has received funding from the Australian Research Council.

Eve Vincent does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Macquarie University and Deakin University provide funding as members of The Conversation AU.

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When Patrick first held a driver’s licence, his P-plates, he drove a beaten-up car “almost as old as myself”. If police didn’t pull him over once a month, he’d be surprised.

His older brother’s girlfriend, “an upper-class girl”, was once pulled over while on her P-plates while driving a new car, having forgotten to put her lights on. The officer told her in a friendly voice, “You should probably put your lights on.” She had responded mildly with, “Oh, cool, sorry.” Meanwhile, in a similar situation, Patrick had been charged over an insignificant technicality to do with displaying his P-plates.

“Just the expectation from me of dealing with authorities is … I have to toe the line,” he told us, “my expectations are I’m going to get slammed by them.”

When we spoke to Patrick, he was in his thirties. Now, he was a computer programmer, living a comfortable life. But throughout his childhood, Patrick, who is white, shouldered significant responsibilities amid severe material deprivation – he recalled going hungry, for instance.

His girlfriend, Felicia, grew up in the “upper class end of things” in the quiet south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Her dad was a doctor and her mum assisted with the practice. She and her siblings attended the local private school because, Felicia believed, her parents wanted her to associate with “the right people”. She described her family background as Jewish, English and “brown”, and her childhood as a “very happy time”.

Patrick told us Felicia can “talk her way out of” situations with authorities. “She can always explain the situation and get leeway.” He sees a big difference between them around “expectation”: of their treatment in the world and their place within it.

These divergent expectations reached into various aspects of their shared lives. “Dealing with things like real estate agents or businesses or whatever, she’s always got the expectation that something can be worked out.” Put another way, Patrick felt Felicia’s view of the world was, “What she wants can be got.”

Patrick, conversely, described how he couldn’t “shake” the feeling he needed to always have “everything in line”. If he was submitting a rental application for a house, for example, he took care to have all the documentation watertight and in hand. This is much easier to accomplish now he is earning a high wage as a programmer and living a settled life. Yet he still carries a somewhat amorphous anxiety, steeped in his class experience. “If I have one thing wrong, that one thing’s going to trip me up.”

Love across class

We spent two years interviewing 38 people about their experiences of love and class: members of 15 couples, plus eight women whose partners declined to take part.

When we asked about our interviewees’ cultural backgrounds, their descriptions included “white”, “mixed race”, “brown”, Aboriginal, Jewish, Vietnamese, Sri Lankan, English, Māori and Turkish.

What happens, we wanted to know, when people form a romantic relationship across class?

We were attracted to this question after a project where we’d interviewed parents about the changing multicultural dynamics of their local public schools and neighbourhoods. We noticed it was relatively easy for white, middle-class parents to recognise, feel positive about and know what to say about forming connections across “ethnic” difference in their school communities.

But they felt differently about their children forming friendships across class: this was far less appealing and more actively avoided. Many struggled to find a vocabulary to talk about the nature of class differences. These were communicated using other words, like “values” and “rough”.

We decided to embark on new research together, with “class” as an explicit focus. We interviewed people who perceived their class background, or “class origin”, to be different to their partner’s.

Many interviewees expressed relief and even catharsis in discussing class and its significance to their partnership – and their relationship to the world more broadly. We also talked with couples who felt confused about the role class difference played in their relationship, but sensed it was something they were grappling with. This was especially the case when people hailed from migrant or transnational backgrounds, or had experienced upward social mobility.

Two of our interviewees were hesitant to use the language of class: they worried it involved judgement and betrayal of their faith in meritocracy and individual character.

Class, we learned, manifests in subtle and not-so-subtle ways in these partnerships.

A similar place ‘from very different directions’

Patrick had spent his childhood moving up and down the east coast, “just random places”. His dad did “manual labour of various sorts” before a car accident wrecked his left arm. He did work “every so often” throughout his childhood, but was “mostly unemployed”. In his adulthood, Patrick’s parents separated and his mum started working in aged care.

Felicia told us Patrick was not a “man child”, unlike “so many of the people that I grew up with”. His maturity was very attractive to her, and she described him as “very emotionally intelligent”. As a child, Patrick’s family visited op shops to buy clothes, books and old computers. He talked about slowly building a nourishing life as he recovers from the psychic pain caused, in part, by abject childhood poverty.

Felicia says she and Patrick have arrived at a similar place “from very different directions”. She has come to feel increasingly “alienated” from “a lot of assumptions about lifestyle and money” she grew up with.

While her old school friends have mortgages and expensive cars bought with the “equity from those mortgages”, she rents in a lively, friendly neighbourhood and engages in just enough locum work as a doctor to sustain her lifestyle. She greatly values her spare time.

Felicia and Patrick’s close bond and respect for each other was clear to us. Yet Patrick also emphasised that his wounds remain raw, as he delved into the dynamics of their cross-class relationship.

Class is ‘one of our biggest issues’

Another couple, Caleb and Jacinta, described the class dynamics of their relationship in ways that echo Patrick and Felicia’s. However, they described a more pointed, building tension.

Jacinta, who grew up with far fewer opportunities and choices than Caleb, described class as “one of our biggest issues”.

Caleb is a white university student in his thirties from inner-city Melbourne, the sole child of “two detached lawyers”. Jacinta, who works as a TV producer, described herself as being from a “mixed” ethnic background. Her mum was a cleaner and her stepdad a security guard.

Caleb is “pathologically indifferent” to money, he told us. In their spacious inner-city apartment, Caleb appreciated both minimalism and quality. He enjoyed shopping at the local, pricier shops, rather than the supermarket where things were cheaper, and his approach to paying bills on time was relaxed. He explained with self-deprecating humour that he was “raised in the lap of luxury”, “firmly ensconced in the most comfortable class”.

“The class thing” had been at the forefront of Jacinta’s mind for a while, she told us. Despite Caleb’s family’s affluence, their wealth hadn’t been apparent to Jacinta in the early days of their relationship. Of course, she’d known Caleb’s family had money: their “nice house” was in “a very fancy part of town”, with “libraries of books on the walls”.

But they also actively obscured the advantages their wealth afforded them, and they loathed obvious displays of wealth. For Jacinta, who grew up under very different financial circumstances, this contradiction was difficult to grasp. Her in-laws lived a seemingly understated life, but one that was expensive to sustain.

Jacinta’s mum was 16 when Jacinta was born and later partnered with a man who also had a child and who already owned a house. Jacinta lived out the rest of her childhood with her mum, stepdad and three siblings in suburban Melbourne. Her mum was a primary carer and worked as a cleaner when she could. Her stepdad was a security guard. The family “sacrificed” so Jacinta and her siblings could play netball and gymnastics, although things like school camps were too expensive. Jacinta left school at 17, but eventually found her passion working as a producer in TV.

Once they moved in together, Caleb and Jacinta’s very different day-to-day approaches to financial matters became a hindrance and they found themselves frequently clashing over things “as basic as the food shopping every week”. On the one hand, Jacinta budgeted and planned. Caleb, on the other, reflected that he had “been kind of coasting” through life and wasn’t worried about money or accumulating it. “I’ve never really given a shit about that because it’s always been drummed into me that I don’t really need to.”

Different views on home ownership

It was the question of home ownership, and its relationship to growing wealth inequality , that really illustrated to them both how their differently classed childhoods had shaped their different relationships to money as adults – or their “different views of its possibility”, as Jacinta expressed it.

The role of intergenerational wealth in securing access to home ownership is frequently discussed in Australia. Owning assets today can pay more than working for wages, making intergenerational transfers of wealth a key mechanism in the 21st-century logic of class, centred on access to finance.

Jacinta and Caleb grappled with this painful new reality within their relationship. Renting had been a necessity for Jacinta since she left home – she now wants the security afforded by home ownership. Jacinta told us she was saving money and keeping a close eye on the housing market, as buying had become a very real possibility due to Caleb’s parents’ wealth.

“My family are always trying to buy us a house,” Caleb told us, laughing. His parents have even researched places and options, and stand ready to bear much of the financial burden. Caleb remains disengaged but felt that he and Jacinta will likely buy something in the end. “I don’t really care if I’m getting into the wrong part of the market,” he told us. “I don’t want to think about it that much.”

In sum, Caleb conveyed a cool disinterest that Jacinta could not entertain about this crucial question.

Realities of class

Our research shows that being in a cross-class relationship brings the realities of class more sharply into view. Couples like Felicia and Patrick, and Caleb and Jacinta, could not avoid conversations about class, as they grappled with possibilities, tensions and hurt that were in some way connected to their very different formative experiences.

Class proved a clarifying – and in some cases liberating – vocabulary to discuss some of these things. It provided our interviewees with a way to analyse the unequal distribution of advantages and material assets in our society.

Money is only one part of this picture.

Class can play a role in shaping our expectations, anxieties and confidence, as both Patrick and Caleb pondered, from very different ends of the class spectrum, in their interviews with us. Sometimes, the class-based priorities and values we are raised with in childhood might come to repel us as adults, as Felicia explored.

And for Jacinta, access to material assets, including housing, could not be seriously discussed without recognising the significance of class-based wealth. It was her romantic relationship across class with the wealthier Caleb, more than her trajectory through school, mature-age study and work as a TV producer, that had brought home ownership within reach. And ironically, Caleb’s own ease of access to the money to buy a house produced an indifference to the home ownership she wanted.

Cross-class relationships demand facing class honestly. And in an increasingly unequal Australia , class is something many of us should think about more often. The personal reckonings we have documented, we hope, will stimulate a more honest, society-wide conversation about class in the midst of this growing inequality.

This essay draws on research and interviews from Love Across Class (MUP) by Eve Vincent and Rose Butler.

• Relationships
• Real estate
• Housing affordability
• Working class
• Middle class
• Friday essay

Head of School, School of Arts & Social Sciences, Monash University Malaysia

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Various Issues in Modern Family Essay

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Introduction

Sexual relationships, delayed marriages, reproductive patterns, generational discrepancies, works cited.

The family today is faced by major challenges owing to factors emerging every now and then ranging from globalization, increased social integration across the world as well as technological advancement. These and other factors have brought about a multitude of new changes that has brought challenges, completely altering family values.

What are the major issues facing the family today?

The age of initial sexual encounter is getting lower; this has led to unupsurge of teenage pregnancies and abortions in the short term and terminal illnesses in the long term. Religion teaches morals and sex is a taboo, this resulted to a negative attitude toward matters relating to sex, like sex education and information on contraceptives, very little sex education is acquired even to adulthood. With the proliferation of explicit information due to advanced technology on a wide range of sexual matters, young people are left to pick choices for themselves. Pundits attribute increase of same sex relationships due to influence channeled through electronic and print media.

One big phenomenon is an increased delay in marriages occasioned by educational and career pursuits; this has resulted to an increase in single person’s households, a large portion of adults are still living with parents, while others are cohabiting. In Europe 65% of males aged between 25-29 years are still living with their parents while it was at 44% for women. (Cliquet 1) There are also instances of living apart arrangement where intimate relationships are maintained in completely different households. Nupitiality is on the decline, weddings are fewer, and so are the remarriages. Remarriages occur between those who have divorced.

Today’s most married couples especially in Europe are opting for less number of children despite high fertility rates subdued by contraception. The is increased use of contraceptives has lead to lower birth rates, as well as delayed first birth. In some southern Europe countries, one out of two first births occurs outside wedlock, while in the US a third of all births in 2001 were out of wedlock. (Council of Europe 1). This has led to a decrease in young population.

Instances of divorce have also escalated reducing birth rates, in Western Europe, 30% of couples will end up in a divorce (Council of Europe 2002 1). However the figures are higher if we were to consider data on separations, and cohabiting. This has led to an increase to single mothers house holds, and if coupled with single mothers by choice or accident, figures are higher. The instances of single by choice are on the increase especially amongst better educated, working older women. (Miller 1). 75% of men get into a new relationship after divorce while 80% of women do the same. This also happens when death occurs, though the number of those who remarry is lower especially amongst older people.

Due to decreased fertility occasioned by increased access to contraception, there has been a steady decrease in the population below 25 years, and a marked increase in population of 65 years and above. This is due to easy access to healthier life marking an increase in longevity. This has brought about a family dilemma as the old have to be catered for, this is a challenge to loosely knit family units which lack capacity to effectively provide. Increased female participation in paid labor is also driving the woman away from the homemaker role, leaving the aged helpless, there is a strain in such a setup, calling for forces outside family to assist. The strain is less for families with extended close ties.

How do we address these issues?

With all the above dynamics, there are some instances that need extra efforts to in order to avert or alleviate some of resultant conditions. There is need for increased surveillance and parental guidance for teenagers, since they are the most vulnerable to technological influence. Sex education is required at an early age to help the youth make informed decisions. There should be proper structures to cater for the elderly outside the family network so as to provide for quality care, as well as ease the burden for the kin.

Divorce is one feature that is predominant in today’s family; there is need for marital counseling, to prevent it. Since it is not avoidable, children and couples affected should also get counseling to alleviate suffering occasioned by divorce. Children born outside the wed lock or from divorced families might end up themselves going through the same process of divorce as the parents and hence there is need of active participation of the available parent to make up for the absent one, so as to give the child a normal feel.

Violence in the family is also a major issue that needs urgent attention and this calls for counseling of the perpetrators as well as the victims. Substance and alcohol abuse are some of the causing factors of domestic violence, this may come in form of sexual, physical or psychological abuse. Governments all over the world have programs that foster for such affected children. Despite liberalism in family setup, the community at large has an obligation to participate in activities a kin to fighting issues affecting the family since everyone is in a family and is prone to these issues.

Cliquet, Richard. ‘Major trends affecting families in the new millennium’ . Journal of Family Issues. 2001. Web.

Council of Europe. ‘Recent Demographic Developments in Europe 2001’ Strasbourg. 2002. Web.

Miller, Nancy. ‘Single Parents by Choice. A Growing Trend in Family Life’. New York: Plenum Press. 1992. Web.

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• Teens and Representatives of Minorities: Accessing Contraception
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• Teen Pregnancy: Abortion Rates Rise
• Survey and Sampling as the Research Methods
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• Chicago (A-D)
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Foster Care and Child Welfare

Readers discuss a guest essay about removing children from troubled homes.

To the Editor:

Re “ To Protect Kids, We Need More Foster Care, Not Less ,” by Naomi Schaefer Riley (Opinion guest essay, May 13):

Pieces like this express concern about the well-being of children while ignoring the daily harms caused by family separation. The trauma of being ripped away from their parents and placed in the foster system with strangers often results in children developing a host of challenges, including poor mental and physical health, low educational achievement, high rates of homelessness and early pregnancy, and involvement in criminal activities.

The overreliance on family separation for children who aren’t in any immediate danger destroys families who could have remained together with the right support. The parents we work with every day love their children, but they often lack access to vital resources like secure housing, child care, nutritious food, mental health care and transportation.

In New York, allegations of neglect — many times because of a lack of resources — account for the vast majority of complaints against parents. We know that Black and brown families are especially vulnerable to being separated during invasive and coercive investigations.

Rather than overfunding punitive systems that do more harm than good, we must invest in the health and stability of vulnerable families.

Tehra Coles New York The writer is executive director of the Center for Family Representation.

This essay cogently highlights the well-intentioned but often dangerous trend of keeping children in risky settings. Unfortunately, it’s not only keeping children out of foster care; it’s also how many child welfare officials now approach adoption — seeking to have children be with their birth family, even when it is unsafe or when reunification efforts have failed for years.

In 1997 Congress sought to solve the problem of children lingering in foster care by passing the Adoption and Safe Families Act to limit how long children spent in the child welfare system before initiating the adoption process. Shortly after the bipartisan law was passed, timelines for children in foster care significantly decreased. Now, this law is largely ignored .

The most recent child welfare data show that 20 percent of the nearly 370,000 children in foster care have been in the system for three or more years, which means children spending more time without the love of an adoptive family.

Ryan Hanlon Alexandria, Va. The writer is president of the National Council for Adoption.

I have worked in the child welfare system as an attorney representing foster youth in the Bay Area for 18 years. The greatest flaw of the system, in my view, is the child welfare agency’s failure to identify family or family friends immediately upon removal of a child from their parent(s), so the child can safely remain in the care of someone they know, whether temporarily or longer term.

The act of removing a child from their parent(s) and placing them in a foster home with “strangers” has documented and obvious damaging consequences to a child’s emotional, physical and psychological health. The time that child welfare agencies often take to identify, contact and clear a relative or family friend for placement is problematic. More emphasis and resources must be devoted to this stage of the case.

A society that unequivocally cares about children would eliminate barriers that child welfare agencies create to circumvent and delay placing a child who they determine must be removed from parental care with a familiar face. Those of us working in this field witness the traumatic impact of this flawed system on children and families daily.

Vicki Trapalis San Francisco

Naomi Schaefer Riley attributes children’s deaths to efforts by child welfare agencies to keep at-risk families together. However, she fails to account for the many cities and states where significant reductions in children entering foster care have not led to any uptick in child maltreatment fatalities, such as New York City, Texas and New Jersey.

Data shows that the two trends described — efforts to reduce family separation and increased fatalities — are not happening in the same places. Texas, for instance, has recently reduced both foster care placement and fatalities, while both have increased in Georgia.

Research published in the Children and Youth Services Review shows that horrific child fatalities like Phoenix Castro’s, cited by Ms. Riley, represent “extreme outliers,” and that sensationalized media coverage leads to “foster care panics,” when child welfare agencies make politically conservative decisions that separate families unnecessarily, traumatizing children.

It’s important that we understand the facts about these tragic but rare deaths and the policies that actually protect children.

Nora McCarthy New York The writer is the director of the NYC Family Policy Project, a think tank.

The author uses the age-old tactic of highlighting an outlier case where a child tragically dies in the care of their parent as justification for erring on the side of caution and removing children from their families.

The reality is that unlike the horror stories that are portrayed in the media, physical and sexual abuse accounted for only 17 percent of the children that were removed from their parents last year. Most removals are due to “neglect,” a nebulous and vague term because poverty is often conflated with neglect.

And for those children who are placed in foster care, safety is far from guaranteed. One study found that children in foster care were 42 percent more likely to die than those in the general population. Multiple studies show that foster children experience physical and sexual abuse at higher rates than the general population. Many children have died in foster care.

Our society continues to perpetuate the well-debunked myth that foster care ensures that children will live better lives. As Naomi Schaefer Riley admits, “Foster care is not a panacea.” That’s the one thing we can agree upon.

Shanta Trivedi Baltimore The writer is faculty director of the Sayra and Neil Meyerhoff Center for Families, Children and the Courts and an assistant professor of law at the University of Baltimore School of Law.