essay focus statement

Maintaining Your Focus

To focus your writing, you'll need to know how to narrow your focus, so you don't overwhelm your readers with unnecessary information. Knowing who your readers are and why you are writing will help you stay focused.

A Definition of Focus

Kate Kiefer, English Department, Composition Director 1992 -1995 The focus of the text is also referred to as its thesis, theme, controlling idea, main point. In effect, writers tell readers what territory they plan to cover. That's the focus. A focus can be very narrow--as when a photographer takes a close-up of one mountain flower--or it can be broad --as when the photographer takes a long-range shot of the mountain. In practical writing, the focus is often specified for the writer by the "occasion" for the writing.

In their discussions of focus, writers may use a number of terms: main point, thesis, theme, position statement, and controlling idea. What these terms have in common—and what focus is really all about—is informally known as sticking to the point.

Sticking to the point involves having a clear idea of what you want to write and how you want to write about your topic. While you write, you'll want to keep in mind your supporting details to help your readers better understand your main point.

Coordinating all the aspects of your paper requires you to make each part work with the whole. Imagine your writing is a symphony orchestra in which one out of tune instrument will ruin the sound of the entire performance.

How Audience and Purpose Affect Focus

All readers have expectations. They assume what they read will follow a logical order and support a main idea. For instance, an essay arguing for a second skating rink for hockey players should not present cost figures on how expensive new uniforms have become.

Your audience and writing purpose will help you determine your focus. While it may seem obvious to include certain details, your audience may require specific information. Further, why you are writing will also affect what information you present.

Michel Muraski, Journalism and Technical Communication By articulating the problem, you give yourself focus. You must have done your audience analysis to have asked the question, "What kinds of information does the audience need? What are they going to do with it? Are they going to use it to further their research? Are they going to use it to make a decision?" Once you've identified your audience and what they're going to do with your information, you can refine your problem statement and have a focus. It's a necessary outcome.

Different audiences require different ways of focusing. Let's look at a proposal for a second ice rink in town for hockey players only.

Audience One: City Council

This audience will want to know why another ice rink is necessary. They will need to know how practice hours were shortened due to increases in open skate and lesson hours. They will need to know about new hockey teams forming within the community and requiring practice and game time on the ice. They should also be informed of how much money is made from spectators coming to view the games, as well as of any funding raised by existing hockey teams to help support a new rink. Every detail they read should support why city council should consider building a new rink.

Audience Two: Hockey Coaches and Players

This audience should be informed of the need for a new rink to inspire their support, but chances are they already know of the need. Ultimately, they will want to know what is required of them to get a new rink. How much time will they need to donate to fundraising activities and city council meetings? In addition, they will want to know how they will benefit from a new rink. How will practice hours be increased? Every detail they read should inform them of the benefits a new rink would provide.

Steve Reid, Composition Director 1973-1977 and 1994-1996 Focus, for me, is a term we borrowed from photography. This means we narrow something down to a very sharp image. First, it's a notion of narrowing to something, but also, it's a notion of sharpness and clarity. Focus is one of the things that clarifies purpose. So once we get a sense of thesis, that helps illuminate the photography image, illuminate what the overall purpose of the paper is.

Your purpose is why you are writing about your topic. Different purposes require different ways of focusing. Let's look at a proposal for a second ice rink in town for hockey players only.

Purpose One: Arguing

Proposing a new ice rink to city council members would require convincing them the rink was necessary and affordable. You would need to acknowledge reasons for and against the rink.

Purpose Two: Informing

Informing fellow hockey coaches and players about a new rink would require telling them of the steps being taken to achieve a new rink. This audience most likely knows most of the issues, so selling them on the idea probably won't be necessary. Give them the facts and let them know what they can do to help.

Don Zimmerman, Journalism and Technical Communication Department Typically, when I'm writing a report for a person out there, I provide them with the information they need to either increase their knowledge or make a decision. When I talk about focus, I really mean targeting. Here's an example. This comes out of a trade magazine. In Nursing '96 , you'll find articles written by nurses for other nurses. They will generally open with essentially two or three paragraphs. They will say, "You know, here is the problem I had as a nurse in this setting." They tend to set them in what I would consider, soap opera-ish kinds of settings. They set up a real life situation with real people. In other words, "I went into Sally's room and discovered she'd thrown all the covers off the bed and she was sweating profusely." the article goes on to describe what it was. Then it will come back and say, "Here's the problem. Now we've had a number of patients who did this kind of activity, and we found they fell out of bed. To minimize those injuries, here are three things we've done." Then they will give you the summary and then they will elaborate those procedures. That's very targeted. Targeting influences the kind of language used. This means the nurses in the hospital are dealing with "X" kind of patient and "X" kinds of situation. This means a lot of terms and terminology are used. The other nurses reading about this will understand it because of their interest in that topic; it's going to fit them.

Narrowing Your Focus

Writers who cover too much about a topic often overwhelm their readers with information. Take, for example, an essay focused on the tragedies of the Civil War. What tragedies? Readers have no idea what to expect from this focus, not to mention how difficult it would be to write about every tragedy of the Civil War.

After writers choose a topic to write about, they need to make sure they are not covering too much nor too little about a topic. The scope of a focus is partially dictated by the length of the writing. Obviously, a book on the Civil War will cover more than a 500 word essay. Finally, focus is also determined by its significance, that is, its ability to keep readers' interest.

What It Means to be Focused

Donna Lecourt, English Department What it means to be "focused" changes from discipline to discipline. Say for example, in literature, my "focus" comes through a novel. I want to write about Henry James's Turn of the Screw . On one hand it could come through theory. I want to do a feminist analysis and Henry James's Turn of the Screw just happens to be the text I apply it to, or I might add another text. I might just approach a novel and say, "Okay. Everybody's read it in these ways before. Here's yet another way to read it." I don't have to show that I'm adding to, in some ways, I can show I'm distinguishing or coming up with something new. What my "focus" is, is determined disciplinarily as well as by my purpose. Another example would be a typical research report where a "focus" is what's been done before because that determined what an experiment was going to be about. And so, in some ways, you're not coming up with your own "focus" the way in English, in some ways, you can. You have to look at "X," "Y," and "Z" studies to see what was done on this topic before you can prove your point. Focus comes out of what was achieved before. You have to link what you're doing to previous research studies which is a requirement of a lot of research reports.

Focus is Too Broad

Michel Muraski, Journalism and Technical Communication The biggest conceptual shift in most students is having too broad of a statement and literally finding everything they ever knew about this topic and dumping it into a term paper. They need to consider what they write a pro-active document: a document that's going to be used by a specified audience for a specified reason about a specific area of that broader topic.

Kate Kiefer, English Department, Composition Director 1992 -1995 A broad focus looks easier for students, but it turns out that a narrow focus is generally easier. General articles and essays with a broad focus require lots of background information and a pretty clear sense of the readers' goals in reading the piece. Otherwise, writing with a broad focus tends to result in pretty boring prose. Most academic writing requires a narrow focus because it's easier to move from that into the specific supporting detail highly valued in the academic community.

A broad focus covers too much about a topic. It never discusses the fine details necessary to adequately present a topic and keep readers' interest. A good way to narrow a broad topic is to list the subcategories of the topic. For example, two subcategories of Civil War tragedies are:

• The breakdown of families as a result of divided loyalties.
• How the small details of battle strategies affected the outcome of the war.

When you list subcategories, be careful not to narrow your topic too much, otherwise you won't have enough to write about it.

Focus is Too Narrow

A narrow focus covers too little about a topic. It gets so close to the topic that the writer cannot possibly say more than a few words. For example, writing about gender interactions in one of your classes is too narrow. You can use your class to make a point about gender interactions, but chances are, you'll find nothing specific in the library about your particular class. Instead, you might look at gender interactions in group settings, and then use your class as an example to either agree or disagree with your research. Be careful not to make your focus too broad as a result.

As you refine your focus, check to see if you pass the "So What?" test. To do so, you should know who will read what you write. Readers have to care about your topic in order to continue reading, otherwise they may look at what you have written and respond "So what?" You need to determine what readers need to stay interested in your writing. Ask yourself why readers will be interested in your specific topic. Is it significant enough to hold their attention? Why or why not?

Citation Information

Stephen Reid and Dawn Kowalski. (1994-2024). Maintaining Your Focus. The WAC Clearinghouse. Colorado State University. Available at https://wac.colostate.edu/repository/writing/guides/.

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Forming a Focus

Minilesson print.

Quality writing begins with a strong focus statement. Your focus statement gives your writing direction. A focus helps you know what to say about your topic. A lack of focus leaves your readers unsure what point you are trying to make.

Here's a simple formula you can use to form a focus statement. This statement can become the topic sentence in a paragraph or the thesis statement in a formal essay.

Topic (who or what you are writing about )

+ Focus (the part or feeling you want to highlight)

_________________________________

= Focus Statement

Here are some examples of the formula in action with different forms of writing.

Persuasive Writing

Our school (topic) should make an effort to become more environmentally friendly (focus) .

Explanatory Writing

Narrative Writing

• Cooperation
• Water pollution
• Fire hydrants

From page 46 in Writers Express

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• 110.5.b.12.C
• LAFS.3.W.1.1
• 110.5.b.12.B
• LAFS.3.W.1.2
• 110.5.b.11.B.i
• 110.5.b.12.A
• LAFS.3.W.1.3
• 110.6.b.12.C
• 110.6.b.11.B
• LAFS.4.W.1.1
• 110.6.b.11.A
• 110.6.b.11.B.i
• 110.6.b.12.B
• LAFS.4.W.1.2
• 110.6.b.12.A
• LAFS.4.W.1.3
• 110.7.b.11.A
• 110.7.b.11.B
• 110.7.b.12.C
• LAFS.5.W.1.1
• 110.7.b.12.B
• LAFS.5.W.1.2
• 110.7.b.11.B.i
• 110.7.b.12.A
• LAFS.5.W.1.3

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9.1 Developing a Strong, Clear Thesis Statement

Learning objectives.

• Develop a strong, clear thesis statement with the proper elements.
• Revise your thesis statement.

Have you ever known a person who was not very good at telling stories? You probably had trouble following his train of thought as he jumped around from point to point, either being too brief in places that needed further explanation or providing too many details on a meaningless element. Maybe he told the end of the story first, then moved to the beginning and later added details to the middle. His ideas were probably scattered, and the story did not flow very well. When the story was over, you probably had many questions.

Just as a personal anecdote can be a disorganized mess, an essay can fall into the same trap of being out of order and confusing. That is why writers need a thesis statement to provide a specific focus for their essay and to organize what they are about to discuss in the body.

Just like a topic sentence summarizes a single paragraph, the thesis statement summarizes an entire essay. It tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point. It is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

Elements of a Thesis Statement

For every essay you write, you must focus on a central idea. This idea stems from a topic you have chosen or been assigned or from a question your teacher has asked. It is not enough merely to discuss a general topic or simply answer a question with a yes or no. You have to form a specific opinion, and then articulate that into a controlling idea —the main idea upon which you build your thesis.

Remember that a thesis is not the topic itself, but rather your interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic your professor gives you, you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful and confident.

A thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of your introduction. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

A Strong Thesis Statement

A strong thesis statement contains the following qualities.

Specificity. A thesis statement must concentrate on a specific area of a general topic. As you may recall, the creation of a thesis statement begins when you choose a broad subject and then narrow down its parts until you pinpoint a specific aspect of that topic. For example, health care is a broad topic, but a proper thesis statement would focus on a specific area of that topic, such as options for individuals without health care coverage.

Precision. A strong thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and to remain focused on the topic. If the specific topic is options for individuals without health care coverage, then your precise thesis statement must make an exact claim about it, such as that limited options exist for those who are uninsured by their employers. You must further pinpoint what you are going to discuss regarding these limited effects, such as whom they affect and what the cause is.

Ability to be argued. A thesis statement must present a relevant and specific argument. A factual statement often is not considered arguable. Be sure your thesis statement contains a point of view that can be supported with evidence.

Ability to be demonstrated. For any claim you make in your thesis, you must be able to provide reasons and examples for your opinion. You can rely on personal observations in order to do this, or you can consult outside sources to demonstrate that what you assert is valid. A worthy argument is backed by examples and details.

Forcefulness. A thesis statement that is forceful shows readers that you are, in fact, making an argument. The tone is assertive and takes a stance that others might oppose.

Confidence. In addition to using force in your thesis statement, you must also use confidence in your claim. Phrases such as I feel or I believe actually weaken the readers’ sense of your confidence because these phrases imply that you are the only person who feels the way you do. In other words, your stance has insufficient backing. Taking an authoritative stance on the matter persuades your readers to have faith in your argument and open their minds to what you have to say.

Even in a personal essay that allows the use of first person, your thesis should not contain phrases such as in my opinion or I believe . These statements reduce your credibility and weaken your argument. Your opinion is more convincing when you use a firm attitude.

On a separate sheet of paper, write a thesis statement for each of the following topics. Remember to make each statement specific, precise, demonstrable, forceful and confident.

• Texting while driving
• The legal drinking age in the United States
• Steroid use among professional athletes

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

Each of the following thesis statements meets several of the following requirements:

• Specificity
• Ability to be argued
• Ability to be demonstrated
• Forcefulness
• The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxon in the play Fences symbolize the challenge of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.
• Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
• Shakespeare’s use of dramatic irony in Romeo and Juliet spoils the outcome for the audience and weakens the plot.
• J. D. Salinger’s character in Catcher in the Rye , Holden Caulfield, is a confused rebel who voices his disgust with phonies, yet in an effort to protect himself, he acts like a phony on many occasions.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.

You can find thesis statements in many places, such as in the news; in the opinions of friends, coworkers or teachers; and even in songs you hear on the radio. Become aware of thesis statements in everyday life by paying attention to people’s opinions and their reasons for those opinions. Pay attention to your own everyday thesis statements as well, as these can become material for future essays.

Now that you have read about the contents of a good thesis statement and have seen examples, take a look at the pitfalls to avoid when composing your own thesis:

A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Weak thesis statement: My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Weak thesis statement: Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Weak thesis statement: Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

Weak thesis statement: The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Read the following thesis statements. On a separate piece of paper, identify each as weak or strong. For those that are weak, list the reasons why. Then revise the weak statements so that they conform to the requirements of a strong thesis.

• The subject of this paper is my experience with ferrets as pets.
• The government must expand its funding for research on renewable energy resources in order to prepare for the impending end of oil.
• Edgar Allan Poe was a poet who lived in Baltimore during the nineteenth century.
• In this essay, I will give you lots of reasons why slot machines should not be legalized in Baltimore.
• Despite his promises during his campaign, President Kennedy took few executive measures to support civil rights legislation.
• Because many children’s toys have potential safety hazards that could lead to injury, it is clear that not all children’s toys are safe.
• My experience with young children has taught me that I want to be a disciplinary parent because I believe that a child without discipline can be a parent’s worst nightmare.

Writing at Work

Often in your career, you will need to ask your boss for something through an e-mail. Just as a thesis statement organizes an essay, it can also organize your e-mail request. While your e-mail will be shorter than an essay, using a thesis statement in your first paragraph quickly lets your boss know what you are asking for, why it is necessary, and what the benefits are. In short body paragraphs, you can provide the essential information needed to expand upon your request.

Thesis Statement Revision

Your thesis will probably change as you write, so you will need to modify it to reflect exactly what you have discussed in your essay. Remember from Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” that your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement , an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing.

Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and form new opinions and reasons for those opinions. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

The best way to revise your thesis statement is to ask questions about it and then examine the answers to those questions. By challenging your own ideas and forming definite reasons for those ideas, you grow closer to a more precise point of view, which you can then incorporate into your thesis statement.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

1. Pinpoint and replace all nonspecific words, such as people , everything , society , or life , with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Working thesis: Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis: Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use and be appreciated for their talents.

The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard. The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard , the writer can better focus his or her research and gain more direction in his or her writing.

2. Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Working thesis: The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis: The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke . The writer should ask himself or herself questions similar to the 5WH questions. (See Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” for more information on the 5WH questions.) By incorporating the answers to these questions into a thesis statement, the writer more accurately defines his or her stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

3. Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be , a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Working thesis: Kansas City schoolteachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis: The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions. The writer should ask himself or herself questions in order to replace the linking verb with an action verb, thus forming a stronger thesis statement, one that takes a more definitive stance on the issue:

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• What is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results

4. Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Working thesis: Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on MTV are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

In the first section of Chapter 8 “The Writing Process: How Do I Begin?” , you determined your purpose for writing and your audience. You then completed a freewriting exercise about an event you recently experienced and chose a general topic to write about. Using that general topic, you then narrowed it down by answering the 5WH questions. After you answered these questions, you chose one of the three methods of prewriting and gathered possible supporting points for your working thesis statement.

Now, on a separate sheet of paper, write down your working thesis statement. Identify any weaknesses in this sentence and revise the statement to reflect the elements of a strong thesis statement. Make sure it is specific, precise, arguable, demonstrable, forceful, and confident.

Collaboration

Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.

In your career you may have to write a project proposal that focuses on a particular problem in your company, such as reinforcing the tardiness policy. The proposal would aim to fix the problem; using a thesis statement would clearly state the boundaries of the problem and tell the goals of the project. After writing the proposal, you may find that the thesis needs revision to reflect exactly what is expressed in the body. Using the techniques from this chapter would apply to revising that thesis.

Key Takeaways

• Proper essays require a thesis statement to provide a specific focus and suggest how the essay will be organized.
• A thesis statement is your interpretation of the subject, not the topic itself.
• A strong thesis is specific, precise, forceful, confident, and is able to be demonstrated.
• A strong thesis challenges readers with a point of view that can be debated and can be supported with evidence.
• A weak thesis is simply a declaration of your topic or contains an obvious fact that cannot be argued.
• Depending on your topic, it may or may not be appropriate to use first person point of view.
• Revise your thesis by ensuring all words are specific, all ideas are exact, and all verbs express action.

Writing for Success Copyright © 2015 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Writing Studio

Finding your focus in a writing project.

In an effort to make our handouts more accessible, we have begun converting our PDF handouts to web pages. Download this page as a PDF: Finding Focus in a Writing Project Return to Writing Studio Handouts

Each writing project presents its own organizational challenges. Sometimes a writer can go on and on for pages with examples that prove a point…only she hasn’t quite figured out what that point is or noticed that all of her examples make the same basic illustration.

Other times a writer has great ideas, but can’t quite figure out how to begin writing (ever try explaining a five-hundred-page novel AND its relation to jazz in just under 7 pages?). For such assignments, it’s important to find your focus .

Having a focus will help make the purpose of your writing clear and allow readers to follow your reasoning with ease.

Defining Focus and How to Find It

Focus is the controlling idea, main point, or guiding principle of your writing. Strong writing has a very clear focus with secondary and related ideas positioned in order to supplement or support it.

Focus is not something a writer necessarily has at the beginning of the writing process, but something she “finds” and refines through exploration, drafting, and revision. If you find yourself making broad generalizations, rather than specific claims, you should check on your focus.

Questions To Help Bring Your Writing Into Focus

There is no exact formula for finding focus within your writing, but a few questions might help you zero in on your topic:

Question 1: What’s Most Important?

• If I have two divergent ideas, which one do I find more compelling? For analyses, do I need to explain the entire text being analyzed to make my point, or can it be made by using a few sections?

Question 2: What does the assignment ask me to do?

• What will my readers be looking for? Are they more concerned with my textual arguments, my contextual arguments, my explanation or summary of the issue, or my own view? Will they be looking for breadth, depth, or something else? Should I focus on one aspect of a particular issue rather than taking on the entire problem?

Question 3: What will my readers need to know more about?

• Have I provided complete and detailed explanations that will guide my readers forward and keep the argument on course?

Question 4: How well does my organization and structure serve my larger purpose?

• Can I identify a logical progression of ideas within the essay? Might there be a better order for the content / argument?
• Do I develop my points with minimal distraction? Or do I get muddled in tangential explanations and extraneous information?

Additional Techniques to Help You Find Focus

Technique 1: listing.

When you have several broad ideas to contend with, sometimes it’s best to just get them onto the page and out of your system. Listing allows you to categorize your ideas before committing to one. Here’s how it works:

• Start with the overarching idea. It could be about the main character, an important theme, a major scene, a particular argument, etc.
• Under that idea, begin listing whatever comes to mind in association with it. As you go, your list items may or may not become more specific.
• If your items are becoming more and more specific, you might have the beginnings of an outline. Step back and see which items might make a more manageable topic.
• If your items are not becoming more specific, try to circle and connect any related terms that you have listed. Do any patterns begin to emerge? If several words or concepts seem to be related, begin a new list with these as your starting point.

Technique 2: Outlining

Outlining is great when your topic is fairly well developed, but you aren’t quite sure how you want to tackle it. It allows you to roughly map the progress of your paper before committing to the actual writing. The trick, of course, is knowing when to follow it and when to modify it (know when to hold ‘em; know when to fold ‘em). For a standard 5-7 page paper, your outline should not exceed one page. If you find that your subheadings are growing exponentially, it’s a good bet that your main headings are too broad.

Technique 3: Draft Map

Draft maps are great when you’ve already written a first draft and want to examine the larger structure of your paper. They allow you to see which paragraphs support your thesis and which paragraphs do not.

• Identify your thesis statement or controlling ideas in the introduction. If you have more than one major claim, label each one (e.g. A, B, C or color code them).
• Identify the topic sentence or main idea of each of your paragraphs.
• Once you’ve identified the main idea of each paragraph, label them according to the main ideas outlined in your introduction. If a paragraph doesn’t fit, give it another label (i.e. if your paragraph doesn’t fit major claims A-C, give it the letter D).
• Tally your results: Is there a vast difference between your introduction and the ideas in your paragraphs? Is one idea treated significantly more than another? If so, perhaps you should consider refocusing on this idea rather than attempting to tackle the others or consider devoting more time to the other ideas.

Last revised: 07/2008 | Adapted for web delivery: 12/2021 In order to access certain content on this page, you may need to download Adobe Acrobat Reader or an equivalent PDF viewer software.

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How to Focus an Essay

Last Updated: October 11, 2022 References

This article was co-authored by Megan Morgan, PhD . Megan Morgan is a Graduate Program Academic Advisor in the School of Public & International Affairs at the University of Georgia. She earned her PhD in English from the University of Georgia in 2015. This article has been viewed 47,500 times.

Do your essays seem unfocused? Do you tend to ramble while writing? Stating a clear thesis and providing a well-structured argument will help you convey your points to the reader in a focused manner. Create an outline to bring different sections together into a cohesive, flowing piece of work. Be sure to read and revise your material as you write it. This will help you keep your work focused.

Essay Template and Sample Essays

Preparing to Write Your Essay

• If your essay is part of an exam, read the question carefully. Underline the action words like “explain,” “compare,” “analyze.” Be sure you understand how you are supposed to prove your answer.
• See if the essay prompt has multiple parts. For example, it could say, “First, discuss Mary’s emotions upon being rejected at the ball. Then compare her father’s behavior in this situation to his behavior towards Elizabeth’s engagement. Is he showing the same paternal instincts? How so?” For this question, you should answer the first part and then proceed to offer a comparison.

• You should not cite Wikipedia as a source. You can, however, use Wikipedia to find scientific sources for your topic. Look at the references section at the end of a Wikipedia article for links.

• Under each section, write your main arguments as bullet points.
• Under each argument, use secondary bullet points to write out your supporting points and create footnote or in-text citations.
• Include additional information that you think might be useful in an “Other” bullet point even if you don’t have a place for it. You might discard this information or find a use for it later.
• For example, if you must write a five paragraph essay about housing at the Sochi Olympics, you might organize your outline by having paragraphs that provide the following information: I. Introduction to Sochi Olympics and housing II. Discussion of housing financing III. Analysis of contractors, laborers, and their schedules for completion IV. Media reaction to unfinished housing V. Conclusion and overall assessment of housing at Sochi Olympics. Under each paragraph you would have additional sub-points.

Focusing Your Thesis Statement

• Your thesis statement is your opinion it is not a statement of fact. [4] X Research source For example, "Mr. Bennet's wife is Mrs. Bennet" is an indisputable fact and not a thesis statement. Your opinion might be, "By providing a time diary of Mr. Bennet's daily activities, I argue that he prefers to spend time with Elizabeth rather than Mrs. Bennet. Additional quotations work to prove that Mr. Bennet is intellectually attracted to more intelligent females. In this regard, he is a man living beyond his time."
• Your thesis statement is not a question. [5] X Research source You can ask questions in an introduction to pique the readers' interest but you must state directly what you want to prove. For example, you cannot ask, "Was the housing finished in time for the Sochi Olympics?" Most people know it wasn't. Instead, theorize or investigate why it was not finished on time and produce your unique opinion on the underlying reasons.
• Has someone proved the same thing previously or is your thought a well-established fact? If so, try to take a different angle on a topic. For example, instead of writing, "Pride & Prejudice is a beloved book especially for young women," ask yourself why? What is it about this particular book that has captured generations of young women's imaginations? Is it the characters? Do the strong female leads help girls of the past and today to identify with the story?

Writing the Introduction

• The length of your introduction depends on the size of your entire essay. For example, a five page essay should have a short introduction with only a few paragraphs. If you are doing a longer paper, however, your introduction could be a few pages. [9] X Research source
• It is often most effective to write your introduction after you have written the rest of your paper. While it is okay to write a draft of your introduction right away, you should edit your introduction later to reflect your paper's final appearance.

• Your explanation of the context should also be focused. For instance, in a shorter essay, you do not need to give an exhaustive explanation of 19th century gender roles. You can, however, provide a few sentences or paragraphs (depending on your essay size) to ground the reader. Specify the gender dynamics that impact the character you are examining. For example, in the context of Pride and Prejudice, discuss gender politics of the upper middle class as this is the class to which the Bennets belong. You might discuss women's dowries and their lack of occupations and thus need to marry. Choose the most relevant points that will help your reader understand your argument more.

Developing a Focused Argument

• For a five paragraph essay, each separate argument should have its own paragraph.

• Reread your supporting sentences aloud and ask yourself whether they relate to the topic sentence. If they do not, delete them. If they somewhat but not entirely relate, revise them.
• Check for the logical order of your supporting sentences. They should follow one another in a way that makes your argument clear. If you skip around in your explanation, even topically relevant sentences will not help the reader.

• Transitional words could be “furthermore,” “nevertheless,” “additionally,” or “in contrast.”

Writing the Conclusion

• Do not mention your future plans in a homework or exam essay. This step is appropriate for academic essays.

Finishing Your Essay

• If possible, wait a day or two before doing a thorough proofreading. You tend to catch more mistakes when you are less tired.
• Insert page numbers.
• Printing typed essays is another good way to find mistakes. Sometimes we see more mistakes on printed copies.
• Check for redundancies in language. Do you use the same verbs or transitional words all the time?

• It is helpful to collect your sources while you write. This way, if you have a “working bibliography,” it will only take a small time to proofread it before submission.

Expert Q&A

• Don't write your essay the night before it's due, as you will be stressed and have an immediate deadline, which never helps focus. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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• ↑ http://www.clarion.edu/academics/academic-support/writing-center/Focusing-an-Essay-with-a-Thesis.pdf
• ↑ http://naropa.edu/documents/programs/jks/naropa-writing-center/thesis.pdf
• ↑ http://www.petco.com/Content/ArticleList/Article/30/17/433/Natural-Ferret-Behavior.aspx
• ↑ http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/beginning-academic-essay
• ↑ https://www.oxford-royale.co.uk/articles/how-to-answer-essay-questions.html

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Thesis Statements

What this handout is about.

This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements work in your writing, and how you can craft or refine one for your draft.

Introduction

Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college, course assignments often ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you state your point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you’ll make in the rest of your paper.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement:

• tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.
• is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
• directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
• makes a claim that others might dispute.
• is usually a single sentence near the beginning of your paper (most often, at the end of the first paragraph) that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check out our handout on understanding assignments for more information.)

How do I create a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a “working thesis” that presents a basic or main idea and an argument that you think you can support with evidence. Both the argument and your thesis are likely to need adjustment along the way.

Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement. For more ideas on how to get started, see our handout on brainstorming .

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there’s time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the Writing Center to get some feedback. Even if you do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following :

• Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question. If the prompt isn’t phrased as a question, try to rephrase it. For example, “Discuss the effect of X on Y” can be rephrased as “What is the effect of X on Y?”
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like “good” or “successful,” see if you could be more specific: why is something “good”; what specifically makes something “successful”?
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is likely to  be “So what?” then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
• Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It’s okay to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or “why?” your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

Suppose you are taking a course on contemporary communication, and the instructor hands out the following essay assignment: “Discuss the impact of social media on public awareness.” Looking back at your notes, you might start with this working thesis:

Social media impacts public awareness in both positive and negative ways.

You can use the questions above to help you revise this general statement into a stronger thesis.

• Do I answer the question? You can analyze this if you rephrase “discuss the impact” as “what is the impact?” This way, you can see that you’ve answered the question only very generally with the vague “positive and negative ways.”
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not likely. Only people who maintain that social media has a solely positive or solely negative impact could disagree.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? No. What are the positive effects? What are the negative effects?
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? No. Why are they positive? How are they positive? What are their causes? Why are they negative? How are they negative? What are their causes?
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? No. Why should anyone care about the positive and/or negative impact of social media?

After thinking about your answers to these questions, you decide to focus on the one impact you feel strongly about and have strong evidence for:

Because not every voice on social media is reliable, people have become much more critical consumers of information, and thus, more informed voters.

This version is a much stronger thesis! It answers the question, takes a specific position that others can challenge, and it gives a sense of why it matters.

Let’s try another. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following assignment in a class on the American novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain’s novel Huckleberry Finn. “This will be easy,” you think. “I loved Huckleberry Finn!” You grab a pad of paper and write:

Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.

You begin to analyze your thesis:

• Do I answer the question? No. The prompt asks you to analyze some aspect of the novel. Your working thesis is a statement of general appreciation for the entire novel.

Think about aspects of the novel that are important to its structure or meaning—for example, the role of storytelling, the contrasting scenes between the shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now you write:

In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.

• Do I answer the question? Yes!
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not really. This contrast is well-known and accepted.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? It’s getting there–you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for investigation. However, it’s still not clear what your analysis will reveal.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? Not yet. Compare scenes from the book and see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck’s actions and reactions and anything else that seems interesting.
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? What’s the point of this contrast? What does it signify?”

After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.

This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present evidence from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Lunsford, Andrea A. 2015. The St. Martin’s Handbook , 8th ed. Boston: Bedford/St Martin’s.

Ramage, John D., John C. Bean, and June Johnson. 2018. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing , 8th ed. New York: Pearson.

Ruszkiewicz, John J., Christy Friend, Daniel Seward, and Maxine Hairston. 2010. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers , 9th ed. Boston: Pearson Education.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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Focus Statement

The last thing you want to happen to your write-up is for it to become a messy and confusing one. You want to have a clear and well-defined output. If it doesn’t make sense to your readers, you defeat the main purpose of your write up which is to spread information. You may also see statement examples .

• Tips on Writing Your Thesis Statement
• How to Create a Vision Statement for Your Small Business

It is not uncommon to have a messy write-up; messy thoughts equals messy output. However, you really have to try to put things into perspective. Allot time to think about what you should write, research and take down notes, make an outline, and other steps you feel are necessary for you to come up with a coherently beautiful output. You may also see need statements .

What is a Focus Statement?

A focus statement, as the name implies, is the main topic of the writing piece. It is the verbal/written expression of the writer of the piece he/she is trying to accomplish. It is usually crafted before the actual writing process begins. You may also see objective statements .

This statement has one precise purpose which is to establish the story’s direction, not only on how it should be written but how it should be delivered as well. It keeps the writer on track of the flow of the story by making sure that he/she is on topic and is able to fulfill the goal of the focus statement. You may also see employee statements .

In a research paper, the focus statement is the hypothesis, while for companies it is a vision statement. It acts as a blueprint of the writing piece; a solid foundation of the whole piece. It dictates to the writer what information to include, and where and how to further expand the topic. You may also see work statements .

Your focus statement should help your readers clearly understand what you are trying to express. Since it is considered as one of the building blocks of good writing, it is a good indication of whether or not your piece is worthy of praise or else you are going to get an apathetic shrug from your readers. You may also see research statements .

Purpose of a Focus Statement

1. it summarizes the story..

• It expresses a concise but complete version of the story’s entire topic.

2. It sets the story’s course.

• It sets the direction of the story as the writer is given a clear blueprint. You may also see teaching statements .

3. It “sells” the story.

• Selling helps the story capture the interest of the readers and keeps them hooked. You may also see financial statements .

4. It sets a story’s tone and approach.

• Since it dictates the direction of the story, it also sets the tone, attitude and approach the writer is opting for.

A Great Focus Statement Should 

1. be a piece of the writer’s original thinking .

• It should be based on how you envision your story based on the information you have gathered regarding the topic.

2. Be written at the beginning

• It should be written in your introduction to help set the story on the right path. Also, it helps your readers have a clear picture of your topic. You may also see concept statements .

3. Give a general idea of what the story is going to cover

• Your focus statement should be able to give a general idea of the topic before it is further discussed in detail. You may also see business statements .

4. Help find the story’s angle

• However, some may argue that the focus statement is the angle of the story. Regardless, it should be able to clearly set the angle or what aspect you are going to give importance to your story. You may also see medical statements .

How to Create a Focus Statement

After finalizing the topics of your writing piece, you can now begin formulating your focus statement.

Three-Word Focus Statement (for video storytelling and documentary)

1. Identify the following elements of your story topic: who, what, when, where, why, how

Your focus statement should express a complete thought. It should be able to answer the 5 Ws and 1 H questions so that a clear idea is set from the start. You may also see capability statements .

2. Determine who or what (noun) is the central focus of your story.  

As the writer of the story, it is your responsibility to clarify and make it easier for your readers to understand your story. In this sense, the focus statement should indicate the main focal point of your story. You should be able to answer this question: Is it a person, place or a thing?

3. Determine what (verb) this person or thing does.  

In order to clearly execute this in your focus statement, answer this question: What did he/she do? Or what does he/she do? This should show some type of action. This will help propel the action in your story. You may also see income statements .

4. Determine who or what is the object of the action.  

Ask yourself: Is it a person, place or thing? This will be the receiver of the action mentioned above. It is the person, place or thing that is acted upon by the focus of the story. You may also see mission statements .

Full Sentences Focus Statement

1. Start with a three-word statement

Starting your focus statement with a three-word format will make things easier for you as you can just expand and expound those three words in order to create a full sentence. You can incorporate the 5 Ws and 1 H question in your full sentence, however, remember that ‘why’ and ‘how’ are the most important ones. You may also see profit and loss statements .

2. Elaborate details

A focus statement requires you to provide more details in order to get into the heart of the story immediately. The more specific it is, the easier it will be for you to develop your story from there. However, you can also just go with a simple focus statement but it still needs to express the complete thought about the topic. You may also see value statements .

3. Phrase it as a question 

It is easier to expand the focus statement if it is phrased as a question. The answers to the questions can then be included in your focus statement. You can just add additional details to make it clearer and easier to understand. You may also see research statements .

Things to Remember

1. You focus statement should be clear and concise. Including too much information can lead to an messy statement. It should be unambiguous and must generate interest to your readers. You may also see security statements .

2. Your focus statement should help you visualize the story before you actually start with the writing process.

3. It should aptly introduce the focal point of your story and it should be what you want your readers to remember the most in. You may also see mission statements .

4. Details that don’t fit with your focus statement should not be included in the story.

5. It is okay to revise your focus statement. As you continue your research during the writing process, you may stumble upon a new idea or better information. You can always revise your statement that fit more appropriately with your information. You may also see artist statements .

6. It is better if your focus statement can evoke emotions. It can also become the approach of your story. Do you want your readers to be entertained? To be informed? To feel curious?

We hope that this article will help you understand the concept of a focus statement and how to write it.

AI Generator

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

10 Examples of Public speaking

20 Examples of Gas lighting

The Focus Essay

Your essay should chronicle the ways in which your ideas about your topic developed as a result of exploring the relevant literature.  You should discuss how this led you to a more focused topic as well as a working hypothesis or central research question that will guide your further research.  This project focuses on process not content.  Keeping a  Research Log  can be helpful in organizing your experiences.  This is not a research paper.  Instead, write about doing the  pre-research . 

Recommended Organizational Format for your Focus Essay: 1) Introduction: Describe your preliminary topic, the reasons why you selected it and your initial perspective on it.

2) Literature Review (answer the following sorts of questions in this section):

• Which search terms did you use?
• What were the results of your research?
• What did you find—and what didn’t you?  
• How did you find it? 
• What are scholars saying about your topic, i.e. can you identify a "scholarly conversation" or debate around your topic?
• What problems did you encounter while searching for sources?
• How will your findings contribute to your final research project? 
• What were your most valuable sources? 
• What resources i.e. online catalog, databases, were most useful to you and why? 
• How did specific resources make you rethink your topic? 
• Were there sources that you ended up not using?  Why not?

3) Conclusion: Clear description of your newly defined research topic and/or question and the working hypothesis/thesis that will guide your research.

4) Working Bibliography:  15-20 key sources that may be useful for your final research project.

How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay Examples)

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What is a personal statement that just means “essay” … right, what are some great personal statement topics (aka how do i brainstorm mine).

• Three personal statement examples

A few hundred words to capture who you’ve become over the course of almost two decades? 

Yup, makes sense why lots of students find the idea of writing a personal statement intimidating. Framed like the above, it could almost sound, I don’t know, unreasonable.

Whether you’re using the Common Application, the Coalition Application, or a school-specific application portal, it can be scary to try to come up with an essay topic that encompasses the complexity and vastness of who you are as a person … while also staying in the word count. 

But this can also be a fun, meaningful experience (real talk: We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think it was true). In fact, the process of brainstorming and writing about meaningful aspects of your life can be an incredible way to practice self-reflection and think more deeply about who you are, what you value, who you hope to be in the world, and what you actually want to get out of college. 

So to help you move past the intimidating aspects and focus more on the fun and meaning, in this post, we’ll describe what differentiates the personal statement from other college essays and what function it serves in your college application. We’ll also share what qualities can help a personal statement stand out, how to find a stronger topic, how to set yourself up for an easier writing process, and even share some essay examples we loved.

A personal statement is an essay in which you demonstrate aspects of who you are by sharing some of the qualities, skills, and values you’ll bring to college. A written personal statement is typically used by college admission offices, but it’s also often used by scholarship selection committees or specific academic departments to help assess potential candidates.  

To understand what the personal statement is, it’s helpful to imagine your entire college application as a human body. The personal statement is the metaphorical “heart”—it captures the essence of who you are as a person and what motivates you, both academically and personally.

Let’s briefly clarify what it isn’t . It’s not a classic five-paragraph essay you write for English class (thesis, body, restate thesis in almost the same words, but hopefully not repetitively, done). 

Here are some other ways a personal statement is different from an English class essay:

There’s no “right” essay topic to write about, as you’ll see from the range of essay topics in this post . Students have written successfully on topics ranging from: I Shot My Brother, to Home, to Being Pooped on by Animals. Oh, and btw, we’d recommend not reading too many sample essays before you’ve done some brainstorming of your own first. But whatever topic you land on, keep this in mind: 

The goal of your personal statement is to find a topic that demonstrates the skills, qualities, values, and interests you’ll bring with you to a college campus.

In fact, though we’ll keep saying “topic” of your essay because it’s clear and easy, the topic of your essay is ultimately always you. Just as the heart drives the actions of the rest of the body, the personal statement provides context for the rest—and, in some ways, is the heart—of your application. The other supplemental essays , if required by colleges, are opportunities to go into more detail about aspects of your interests, passions, and identity not covered in your personal statement.

The personal statement is a great place to discuss critical events or experiences in your life that catalyzed you to become the person you are now, or various aspects of your identity that strongly influence the way you interact with the world around you. It’s also an opportunity to introduce readers to your most important interests and values . For more on that, and exercises to help clarify those things, check those links (we’ll also offer more on them later).

What makes a great personal statement?

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to writing your personal statement that will magically make colleges admit you. 

Bummer, we know.

That said, the best personal statements often share a lot of the same qualities , even when they’re about drastically different topics. 

Here, in our opinion, are a few qualities you’ll find in an outstanding personal statement:

You can identify the applicant’s core values. In a great personal statement, we should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author. These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at least 4-5 different values throughout.  When you look for these values, also consider whether or not they’re varied or similar. For instance, values like hard work, determination, and perseverance … are basically the same thing. On the other hand, more varied values like resourcefulness, healthy boundaries, and diversity can showcase different qualities and offer a more nuanced sense of who you are.

It’s vulnerable. We love when, after reading an essay, we feel closer to the writer. The best essays we’ve seen are the ones where students have let their guard down some. Don’t be afraid to be honest about things that scare, challenge, or bother you. The personal statement is a great space for you to open up about those aspects of yourself. As you’re writing, ask yourself: Does the essay sound like it’s mostly analytical, or like it’s coming from a deeper, more vulnerable place? Another way of asking this: Does it sound like the author wrote it using mostly their head (intellect), or their heart and gut? Remember, this is the “heart” of your application. It’s a place for emotional vulnerability. After reading it, the admission officer should (we hope) feel like they have a better sense of who you are.

It shows insight and growth. Your personal statement should ideally have at least 3-5 “so what” moments, points at which you draw insights or reflections from your experiences that speak to your values or sense of purpose. Sometimes, “so what” moments are subtle. Other times, they’re more explicit. Either way, the more illuminating, the better. They shouldn’t come out of nowhere, but they also shouldn’t be predictable. You want your reader to see your mind in action and take that journey of self-reflection with you.

It demonstrates craft (aka it’s articulate and reads well). While content is important, craft is what’ll bring the best stories to life. That’s why it’s important to think of writing as a process—it’s very rare that we’ve seen an outstanding personal statement that didn’t go through at least 5 drafts. Everything you write should be carefully considered . You don’t want your ideas to come off as sloppy or half-baked. Your reader should see the care you put into brainstorming and writing in every sentence. Ask yourself these questions as you write:

Do the ideas in the essay connect in a way that’s logical, but not too obvious (aka boring)? 

Can you tell that the author spent a lot of time revising the essay over the course of several drafts? 

Is it interesting and succinct throughout? If not, where do you lose interest? Where could words be cut? Which part isn’t revealing as much as it could be?

If you’ve written a first draft and you’re still not sure whether the essay is what you want it to be, give it to a trusted friend, teacher, or family member and have them evaluate it based on these 4 general criteria. Sometimes, we spend so much time on an essay that it’s useful to get another person’s point of view.

The answer to this question dovetails with the approach you’re taking to structuring your essay, so let’s talk about that a bit first.

And while structure may seem nebulous, offering vast options, you can really boil it down to just two approaches: montage or narrative.

So … what are those? And how can you generate some great content for either structure?

Whether you take a Narrative or Montage Approach to structuring your essay depends on your answer to this question:

Do you feel like you’ve faced significant challenges in your life … or not so much? (And do you want to write about them?)

If yes (to both), you’ll most likely want to use Narrative Structure .

If no (to either), you’ll probably want to try Montage Structure .

The above links dive into greater detail if you’re curious, but essentially, Narrative Structure is the classic story structure, focusing roughly equally on a) Challenges You Faced, b) What You Did About Them, and c) What You Learned. Paragraphs and events are connected causally. (Not casually , btw, but causally—as in, through cause and effect.)

Montage Structure focuses on a series of experiences and insights that are connected thematically (so, for example, 5 pairs of pants that connect to 5 different sides of who you are).

So how does structure play into what makes a great personal statement topic?

We believe a montage essay (i.e., an essay NOT about challenges) is more likely to stand out if the topic or theme of the essay is:

X. Elastic (i.e., something you can connect to a variety of examples, moments, or values)

Y. Less common (i.e., something other students probably aren’t writing about)

We believe that a narrative essay is more likely to stand out if it contains: 

X. Difficult or compelling challenges

These aren’t binary—rather, each can be placed on a spectrum.

“Elastic” will vary from person to person. You might be able to connect mountain climbing to family, history, literature, science, social justice, environmentalism, growth, insight … and someone else might not connect it to much of anything. Maybe trees?

“Less common” —every year, thousands of students write about mission trips, sports, or music. It’s not that you can’t write about these things, but it’s a lot harder to stand out. 

“Difficult or compelling challenges” can be put on a spectrum with things like getting a bad grade or not making a sports team on the weaker end, and things like escaping war or living homeless for three years on the stronger side. While you can possibly write a strong essay about a weaker challenge, it’s really hard to do.

“Insight” is the answer to the question “so what?” A great insight is likely to surprise the reader a bit, while a so-so insight likely won’t. (Insight is something you’ll develop in an essay through the writing process, rather than something you’ll generally know ahead of time for a topic, but it’s useful to understand that some topics are probably easier to pull insights from than others.)

To clarify, you can still write a great montage with a very common topic, or a narrative that offers so-so insights. But the degree of difficulty goes up. Probably way up.

With that in mind, how do you brainstorm possible topics that are on the easier-to-stand-out side of the spectrum?

Would you Rather watch instead?

Brainstorming your (outstanding) personal statement topic

In our experience, virtually every great college essay comes from good brainstorming. So, early on, stay in exploration mode—we recommend that students outline at least 2-3 different ideas before starting a draft. 

Quality brainstorming can reveal great topics that you wouldn’t have thought about otherwise (and that you may not even know you can/are allowed to write about). Also, more on this in a bit, but outlining well is a huge time-saver, as it can help you either build a better first draft or reveal that you may not have as much to say about a topic as you might’ve initially thought. 

Here are 5 great brainstorming exercises to get you started: 

Values Exercise

Essence Objects Exercise

21 Details Exercise

Everything I Want Colleges To Know About Me Exercise

Feelings and Needs Exercise

That Values Exercise is your cornerstone—those values are what you’ll want to thread throughout your application, regardless of what structure you use in your personal statement. 

We’d recommend doing all of those exercises, regardless of which structure you think you may use, as you may find something new in exploring, and many students will have to write a bunch of supplemental essays anyway.

That said, if you’re thinking Narrative Structure may be your thing (as in, you have some strong challenges you want to write about), be sure to spend a nice chunk of time exploring the Feelings and Needs Exercise (linked above), as it can directly lead to a strong outline and first draft.

If you’re thinking montage, think about how things like your essence objects and 21 details may be thematically linked, and how they can connect to your core values and memories. After doing those, you can also check out this list of 21 College Essay Topics and Ideas That Worked to get a sense of some topics that have paid off. We’ll draw your attention to some of the specific examples in the tips below. We’ve seen great montages built around things like:

Identity: This can be anything from sexuality, to culture, to race, to religion. For examples, check out “ My Grandma’s Kimchi ” or “ The Five Families Essay .”

Academic/career interests: This isn’t just a list of your favorite classes or a lengthy explanation of how well you did on that one AP Calculus test junior year. Instead, it’s more of an exploration of your educational interests and a meditation on how that might influence the work you do in the future. For examples, check out “ Why Behavioral Economics ” and “ Flying .”

Meaningful objects: Those “essence objects.” They’re basically just objects that mean more to you because they connect to your values at a deeper level. For instance, maybe you’d choose dumplings because they remind you of family dinners on Chinese New Year and a specific moment when you had to navigate your cultural identity. So, talking about dumplings might give you an entry point into talking about things like family and cultural connection. Doing the Essence Objects Exercise linked above will help you figure out what kind of objects might serve this function in your life. See the “ Happiness Spreadsheet ” essay for an example.

Significant Obstacles or Events: You might choose to write about a struggle you’ve faced or a dilemma that forced you to think more deeply about some aspect of who you are or what you’re interested in. “ The Tally On My Uniform ” and “ Dead Bird ” are two examples.

It’s important to note that some of these topics will likely overlap. You might choose to write about a significant challenge you faced that related to your identity in some way. Or maybe you’ll want to include details about both academic and extracurricular interests. Don’t feel like you have to choose just one. This list is just to give you a sense of what kind of topics you can explore.

How should I write a personal statement?

First, outline.

Seriously? Outline?

To get into just a little more nuance—if you have a ton of time until your deadline, and you don’t mind maybe throwing away entire drafts and starting over, then feel free to just dive in and write.

Otherwise, outline. Doing so will save you time and make your writing better.

So how do you outline?

For a narrative, use the Feelings and Needs Exercise , and build clear bullet points for the Challenges + Effects, What I Did About It, and What I Learned. Those become your outline. 

Yeah, that simple.

For a montage, outline 4-7 ways your thread connects to different values through different experiences, and if you can think of them, different lessons and insights (though these you might have to develop later, during the writing process). For example, how auto repair connects to family, literature, curiosity, adventure, and personal growth (through different details and experiences).

Here are some solid example outlines:

Narrative outline (developed from the Feelings and Needs Exercise)

Challenges:

Domestic abuse (physical and verbal)

Controlling father/lack of freedom

Sexism/bias

Prevented from pursuing opportunities

Cut off from world/family

Lack of sense of freedom/independence

Faced discrimination

What I Did About It:

Pursued my dreams

Traveled to Egypt, London, and Paris alone

Challenged stereotypes

Explored new places and cultures

Developed self-confidence, independence, and courage

Grew as a leader

Planned events

What I learned:

Inspired to help others a lot more

Learned about oppression, and how to challenge oppressive norms

Became closer with mother, somewhat healed relationship with father

Need to feel free

And here’s the essay that became: Easter

Montage outline:

Thread: Home

Values: family, tradition, literature

Ex: “Tailgate Special,” discussions w/family, reading Nancy Drew

Perception, connection to family

Chinese sword dance

Values: culture/heritage, meticulousness, dedication, creativity

Ex: notebook, formations/choreography

Nuances of culture, power of connection

Values: science/chemistry, curiosity 

Synthesizing plat nanoparticles

Joy of discovery, redefining expectations

Governor’s School

Values: exploration, personal growth

Knitting, physics, politics, etc.

Importance of exploring beyond what I know/am used to, taking risks

And here’s the essay that became: Home

Once you’ve got a solid outline, start drafting. A few really useful things for your first draft:

Don’t worry about word count (within reason).

Don’t worry about making your first draft perfect—it won’t be. Just write.

Don’t worry about a fancy opening or ending.

We’ve seen way too many students not write about the things they need to explore in a first draft because they were worried about word count. If your first draft of a 650-word essay is 800 or 900 words, cool. You’ll have to cut eventually. But that’s the easy part (you generally just hit “delete”).

And it’s actually easier to write a good first draft if you’re not worrying about writing a good first draft. We know that sounds contradictory. But what we mean is that a first draft is good if it gives you a clear sense of where to head with your second and third drafts. That’s its job—to help map where you go next.

Linked to that, a strong opening and ending are things you can more easily develop once you’re clearer on your content and structure. So, for a first draft, if something cool comes to you, great. But if not, don’t let it stop you from drafting.

Jump in and spend some time getting your ideas down on paper. Remember your first draft is just a chance to mess around with different topics and thoughts. It doesn’t have to be anywhere close to perfect. If it helps, just think of it as a brain dump. Once you’ve got all your ideas somewhere, you can start to reorganize and make them more coherent. 

Revise (And revise. And revise ...)

Like we said earlier, it’s incredibly rare for an outstanding personal statement to not go through at least 5 drafts. So this is a big part of the process.

To get you started, this guide to Revising Your Essay in 5 Steps will help you create clearer logical flow, as will this breakdown of 9 different ways to effectively transition .

If you want to build a better opening , check out a bunch of options to play with there (we’d recommend experimenting, even if you have something you like—through exploring, you may find something even better).

And if you want to strengthen the ending of your essay , wander over that way.

Additionally, one of the best general tips we can give you as you revise is to read your essay out loud to yourself. And try to read from a total stranger’s perspective. 

Reading out loud will help you notice problems you maybe missed when reading it in your mind. And reading from a stranger’s perspective will help ensure you aren’t relying on things in your brain that need to be on the page (but aren’t). 

You might also try reading it to a trusted family member, teacher, or friend. They might be able to give you some constructive feedback to make your piece more relatable or accessible for other people. Just keep in mind that some people may have a good sense of what makes for strong writing in general, but not necessarily what makes for a strong college essay specifically.

For more about the essay writing process, check out our Ultimate Guide for writing your personal statement.

Want some guidance on your college applications?

Schedule a meeting to work with my team., three personal statement examples (with analysis for why they worked).

Example 1: "Cheers" 

While my friends binge The Office , I’m at home with my favorite family tavern, Cheers . Reminiscing on my first visit five-years-ago, going into my tenth visit, I realize the gang at Cheers is my mirror: they reflect how I’ve grown.  Sam Malone. Handsome, charming, ex-pro athlete. When I first met Sam, I had the typical impression: a playboy. However, I now see the real Sam: a compassionate being. Raised in Birmingham, I’ve learned many positive lessons, but there are some lessons I’m ashamed of. Homophobia is still prevalent in Alabama; something platonic as hugging your friend fuels ridicule. There’s an episode where Sam is conflicted after discovering his old best-friend was gay. By the end, he determines that whom his friend loves shouldn’t affect their friendship--a progressive act for 1983. This became personal when my brother came out. I was angered that a society that taught me Southern hospitality tried to teach me to hate one of the people I love most. Sam’s actions taught me who one chooses to love doesn’t change their humanity and encouraged me to promote that view in Alabama. When classmates make homophobic comments, I always bring up my brother and our story. These same classmates are now attending the annual Pride parades, standing up for our friends’ rights. Diane Chambers. Educated, elitist, starving artist. Diane loved the arts and displayed her work proudly, even if her cartoons of people depicted animals. As a kid, my dad attempted to teach me how to draw. These sessions ended in frustration, as I wasn’t able to recreate his work. While I was fascinated by the expression of creativity, I thought, “I’m not talented.” Through Diane’s character arcs, I learned art is not linear; it’s multi-dimensional. Diane would appreciate the discovery of my means of expression: graphic design and programming. I blend the two mediums to create an impactful product. Whether it’s designing and developing an app to battle the Tanzanian Water Crisis, or creating advertisements and social media posts for my internship at a construction-tech start-up, I reveal my vision through my greatest passion: technology. Dr. Frasier Crane. Intelligent, empathetic, scientist. Frasier (we’re on a first-name basis), joined the gang later after falling in love with Diane at a mental health retreat. I first met Frasier when I struggled to fit in with my peers. While I had a passion for STEM and its ability to uncover mysteries of the unknown, my peers had a passion for hating everything academic. While I thought Frasier was super cool, I still called him a nerd. However, watching the way Frasier embraced science gradually allowed me to realize my love for it is something to hone rather than suppress. Eventually, I developed enough confidence to reach out to a professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham to conduct computational physics research. Over the past three years, I have completed two research projects, currently researching the distinct applications of computer vision, and have become a pioneer within STEM.  Inspired by the love for Computer Science competitions, I founded the district’s first CS team. Upon concluding our presentation at the U.S. Capitol, I knew Frasier would be proud.  The Cheers gang. I have wondered why I clicked with them so well since we are different people. Sam the jock, Frasier the nerd, Diane the artist, I the awkward teenager. I’ve realized each of them is a part of me. When I face societal pressure, I always learn and overcome. While I’m passionate about science, I also love the arts. Whereas I used to be an antisocial 7th grader, I’m now a senior with great friends and mentors. No matter what I’m struggling with in life, I know I can return to Cheers , where everybody knows your name.

Why this essay worked:

This essay does a great job of using the Montage Structure to incorporate a bunch of different aspects of the applicant’s life into one coherent piece. You’ll notice that they use the TV show Cheers and the characters in it as a clothesline off which to “hang” their interest in computer science and graphic design, LGBTQ+ community allyship, and generally endearing nerdiness. This is a really clever way of bringing together seemingly disparate topics. It doesn’t take itself too seriously but tells a lot about the author and how she thinks. It also gives her a very clear structure for her essay. Each paragraph is devoted to one Cheers character and (more importantly) expounds on the ways the author connects to that individual. The essay has a clear purpose despite lacking a linear narrative.

Also notice that the author doesn’t necessarily have a super clear idea of what she wants to do, career-wise. However, she still incorporates specific details about how she’s synthesized computer science and artistic design in various clubs and events. She doesn’t explicitly have to tell us what her future career is for us to get a sense of what interests she might pursue in college. This is a prime example of how you can write an outstanding personal statement even if you don’t totally know what you want to do in college and haven’t faced a significant challenge.

Example 2: 

All that I remember from my childhood are happy memories - of blowing balloons in summer after eating an ice-cone, coming from school to find my favourite snacks lined up on the table, my grandma feeding me with her own hands and never failing to add that extra spoon of ghee (clarified butter) to my rice. My parents shielded us from everything that was bad in this world or could somehow hurt us. They were so protective that I learned to ride a bike on the roof of our three-story house because my parents didn’t think it was safe for me to ride on the road. Even on our roof, a place well within the four walls of our house, I had someone looking out for me. That protective bubble around me finally popped when I was stopped from entering a temple where my family goes annually on an auspicious day. I loved that subtle fragrance of saffron and seeing the beautifully decorated temple with thousands of pilgrims lining up. My grandpa donates a lot there which allows us to enter early in the morning and perform the rituals without the usual crowd. The problem this year was a new rule that prohibited Western clothing. The strange thing was that they didn’t stop male my cousin even though we were wearing the exact same thing, jeans and t-shirt. I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened today but I was then, as I was only in middle school. I hadn’t seen anything like this yet because my family never treated us differently -- we hadn’t previously seen this side of the world. I started trying to learn more about the “real world”, reading more news and participating in intercultural exchanges and debates, anything that would give me more insight. This process of exploring different versions of an event, of noticing how different people might see the same thing, made me more observant. But this also made me think of how others might see me and I became scared of being judged. When I was elected Head Girl this past year, I became even more self-conscious because I was in the limelight -- and everything I would do would reflect on the school. I thankfully realized how irrational my fears were during a hectic Round Square International Conference (RSIC) at school. I was busy heading our student team and managing crises. When a school bought more students than they’d registered, I didn’t have time to think, I had to rely on my instincts and take action. Teachers from across the world praised me; one even said I’d been the soul of our conference. These small but empowering moments have helped me realize that I could trust my decisions, my input counted too. I need to be myself and worry less about what others think. I could have easily changed my clothes that day at the temple but I didn’t because that’s not who I am. There’s always going to be someone who might not approve of what I do and that is all right.  I am choosing to attend college in the United States because there I can continue my quest to learn more about the complexities of this world. My family never allowed me to use the public transportation in my city. I understand their concern, but I think it’s time for me to explore outside the safety of home, to ride a bike or take the subway, make my mistakes, and learn my way. At school, I felt like I was in the spotlight yet so invisible mostly because I worried about what others might think. But now I will choose to be visible, choose to be me.

Off the bat, one of the biggest things that stands out about this essay is the level of detail in it. In the intro, the author evokes very visceral images of blowing balloons in the summer, extra spoonfuls of ghee on rice, and riding bikes on rooftops. The more you can drop the reader into your world and engage their senses, the better. You want people to be able to identify with you so that they have a clear sense of who you are as a person. It also helps you stand out. The more specifically you write, the less likely it is that anyone else could have written it. That’s what this whole personal statement thing is all about—showing what you can uniquely bring to the table. 

The other great thing about this essay is that it ends in a different place from where it begins. This shows insight and growth. The author goes from questioning her instincts and judgements to seeing her inherent value. She begins to gain confidence and see the positive ways in which she can contribute to the conversations she’s a part of. This transformation is important because it’s a hook that keeps people reading. They don’t know where the essay is going to take them, so they keep reading to see where the author will end up. It also demonstrates the applicant’s growth and ability to self-reflect, which are always great qualities to highlight in college essays.

Example 3: 

Apparently, I have a natural “mom vibe.”  On my volleyball team, I am team mom in every way. As a natural worrier, I like to make sure that everyone has all of their necessities: knee pads, water bottle, hair elastic, uniform. Did everyone go to the bathroom before leaving on the bus? Did we count to make sure that all fourteen of us are here? Does anyone want an apple slice? Over my many years of playing volleyball, I have learned how to play every position well enough to fill in for any member of my team, whether that’s front, back, libero, setter, or hitter, so that I can always be there for my team in a pinch.  A few years ago, I transitioned from looking after only my teammates to also helping actual children. I started volunteering at my former elementary school as a teacher’s assistant. I guide third graders through difficult word problems or sentence structures, sometimes translating the lesson to Mandarin for the Chinese students who are struggling with English. I live for that moment when the impossible suddenly becomes possible and I see a student use what they just learned correctly without any assistance. I love helping kids ask big questions, and think about how to solve them, because it reminds me of how my parents guided me. Ever since I can remember, every time my father and I are alone on a long trip, we ask each other questions and the other has to answer with scientific evidence. Do birds have eyelids? Why is gelatin gelatinous? What does schizophrenia look like in a brain? I love thinking about how things work from the molecular level all the way up to the mechanical level. During a recent internship, I had the opportunity to ask big questions through research, a step beyond the guesstimating I was used to doing in my dad’s CRV. The team I was working with was conducting studies focused on treating alcoholism. My job was to “clean up” the data, or make it more readable. I sifted through spreadsheets, digging for the important data and piecing everything together logically. Knowing that my contribution would have a positive impact on people’s lives was incredibly meaningful. I’ve always enjoyed putting things together like a puzzle. As Chief Layout Editor of my school newspaper, I help my designers compile every edition. Like a real-life game of Tetris, every article must fit perfectly with the other articles around it, lined up into evenly lengthed columns. No matter how much experience a graphic designer has, no one gets all of their articles laid out nicely on the first try. We solve every edition by trial and error, which often results in lots of frustration, but no amount of frustration can surpass the pride and satisfaction once we have all the pages compiled and printed. As a pediatrician, I will be able to strengthen and use all these parts of me. I will have the chance to treat a multitude of illnesses and injuries and problem solve my way through each one. Each day, I will be able to think critically and scientifically to give families possible solutions and peace of mind about their child’s health. I hope to continually expand my knowledge as medicine advances and ask big questions by frequently participating in research. Hopefully I’ll be able to work with a great group of peers in a clinic and in public health. I want to find new solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems, and finally, use all of my skills and qualities to help better the lives of others.  Plus, as a pediatrician, I will be able to take care of children who cannot always advocate for themselves, so my mom instinct will be one of my greatest assets.

This is another creative example of how you can go about writing a montage essay. The author uses her “mom vibe” to her advantage and discusses how her interest in attending to the people (and world) around her has influenced different spheres of her life. Notice how well the first line hooks us into the story. It’s short, sweet, funny, and visibly distinct from the denser paragraphs below. When you’re writing, think very carefully about your first sentence and the work it’s doing to rope your reader in. That first sentence is your first impression on readers, so you want it to be a good one. 

One last standout aspect of this essay is the way it uses questions. In it, the author poses a lot of big and (oftentimes) unanswered questions. This is great because it highlights her natural curiosity and shows her mind in action. She doesn’t have to answer the questions for them to speak volumes about her personality and interests. Don’t feel like you have to resolve everything neatly by the end of your essay. That would be unrealistic, and ultimately, pretty uninteresting. It’s okay to pose questions for the sake of sheer wonder. In fact, it’s better than okay—it’s great. Nerd out a little. Have fun with it.

With all these writing/brainstorming strategies and example essays, the personal statement shouldn’t feel too intimidating anymore. Now you have all the tools you need to start writing an amazing essay.

Another great read: College Application & Admissions Timeline (AKA What Should I be Doing Right Now?)

Table of Contents

Ai, ethics & human agency, collaboration, information literacy, writing process, rubric focus.

The focus refers to the main idea of the text. One way to determine this main idea is to figure out the purpose of your essay. An essay should do more than give you a grade; for example, it can persuade an audience, argue a point, or inform a reader. The assignment sheet is a great place to look for the purpose of the essay. What is your instructor asking you to do? The topic, length, variety and amount of research, audience, etc., all coincide with what the assignment requires. A successfully focused paper will, in addition to meeting assignment requirements, have an insightful, intriguing, and/or original thesis, convincing and compelling ideas, and thoughtful analysis of those ideas. Once you’ve determined your main idea, it is lot easier to stay on topic. In other words, to keep your focus you must have a main idea and supporting points. As you revise or compose, ask yourself: “How does this paragraph—and all the sentences it contains—support my main idea?” If it does not, or if it’s not clear, then you’ve probably lost your focus because you’ve included unnecessary information. A clearly focused essay will usually assert one idea—in the form of a thesis statement—and will then present a logical progression of related points that help prove the main idea. A focused essay leaves the reader with a feeling of understanding, rather than confusion. It’s what people refer to as the “flow” of the essay.

Brevity – Say More with Less

Clarity (in Speech and Writing)

Coherence – How to Achieve Coherence in Writing

Flow – How to Create Flow in Writing

Inclusivity – Inclusive Language

The Elements of Style – The DNA of Powerful Writing

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EL Education Curriculum

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• ELA 2019 G7:M1:U2:L9

Write a Compare and Contrast Essay: Plan an Introduction

In this lesson, daily learning targets, ongoing assessment.

• Technology and Multimedia

Supporting English Language Learners

Materials from previous lessons, new materials, closing & assessments, you are here:.

• ELA 2019 Grade 7
• ELA 2019 G7:M1
• ELA 2019 G7:M1:U2

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Focus Standards:  These are the standards the instruction addresses.

• RL.7.9 , W.7.2a , W.7.5 , W.7.9a , W.7.9b

Supporting Standards:  These are the standards that are incidental—no direct instruction in this lesson, but practice of these standards occurs as a result of addressing the focus standards.

• RL.7.1 , RI.7.1 , W.7.4 , W.7.6 , W.7.10 , SL.7.1 , L.7.6
• I can plan the introduction of a compare and contrast essay with a strong focus statement. ( W.7.2a , W.7.5 )
• Opening A: Entrance Ticket: Unit 2, Lesson 9 ( W.7.2a )
• Work Time A: Similarities and Differences: A Long Walk to Water and "The 'Lost Girls' of Sudan" note-catcher ( RL.7.1 , RL.7.9 , RI.7.1 , W.7.9 )
• Work Time C: Introduction of part of the Informative Writing Plan graphic organizer ( W.7.2a , W.7.4 , W.7.5 , W.7.9a , W.7.9b )
• Ensure there is a copy of Entrance Ticket: Unit 2, Lesson 9 at each student's workspace.
• Review the Informative Writing checklist to become familiar with what will be required of students over the remainder of the unit.
• Preview the Language Dive Guide, and consider how to invite conversation among students to address the language goals suggested under each sentence chunk strip (see Materials list). Select from the questions and goals provided to best meet students' needs.
• Post the applicable anchor charts (see Materials list).

Tech and Multimedia

• Continue to use the technology tools recommended throughout previous modules to create anchor charts to share with families; to record students as they participate in discussions and protocols to review with students later and to share with families; and for students to listen to and annotate text, record ideas on note-catchers, and word-process writing.

Supports guided in part by CA ELD Standards 7.I.A.4, 7.I.B.6, 7.II.A.1, 7.II.A.2, 7.II.B.5, 7.II.C.6, and 7.II.C.7.

Important Points in the Lesson Itself

• To support ELLs, this lesson explicitly teaches students how to plan an introductory paragraph for a compare and contrast essay. This explicit introduction to writing an opening paragraph is beneficial to ELLs because the academic language necessary for doing this task often has to be learned directly from instruction since it entails academic language and language structures not used in everyday speech.
• ELLs may find using the extensive Informative Writing Plan graphic organizer challenging because it requires students to generate a lot of abstract language in a short amount of time. Therefore, additional supports such as the ones listed below may be useful.
• focus statement, introduction (A)

(A): Academic Vocabulary

(DS): Domain-Specific Vocabulary

• Close Readers Do These Things anchor chart (one for display; from Unit 1, Lesson 4, Opening A)
• Academic word wall (one for display; from Unit 1, Lesson 1, Opening A)
• Domain-specific word wall (one for display; from Unit 1, Lesson 1, Work Time B)
• Similarities and Differences: A Long Walk to Water and "The 'Lost Girls' of Sudan" note-catcher (example for teacher reference) (from Unit 2, Lesson 8, Work Time B)
• Criteria of an Effective Informative Essay anchor chart (one for display; from Unit 2, Lesson 7, Work Time A)
• Criteria of an Effective Informative Essay anchor chart (example for teacher reference) (from Unit 2, Lesson 7, Work Time A)
• Work to Become Ethical People anchor chart (one for display; from Unit 1, Lesson 2, Opening B)
• Work to Become Ethical People anchor chart (example for teacher reference) (from Unit 1, Lesson 2, Opening B)
• Vocabulary log (one per student; from Unit 1, Lesson 2, Opening A)
• A Long Walk to Water (text; one per student; from Unit 1, Lesson 1, Work Time C)
• “The ‘Lost Girls’ of Sudan” article (one per student and one for display; from Unit 2, Lesson 1, Work Time A)
• Similarities and Differences: A Long Walk to Water and “The ‘Lost Girls’ of Sudan” note-catcher (one per student; from Unit 2, Lesson 8, Work Time B)
• Compare and Contrast Model Essay (one per student and one for display; from Unit 2, Lesson 7, Work Time A
• Painted Essay® template (one per student and one for display; from Unit 2, Lesson 7, Closing and Assessment A)
• Entrance Ticket: Unit 2, Lesson 9 (answers for teacher reference)
• Language Dive Guide: Compare and Contrast Model Essay, Focus Statement (for teacher reference)
• Language Dive: Compare and Contrast Model Essay, Focus Statement note-catcher (for teacher reference)
• Informative Writing checklist (example for teacher reference)  
• Informative Writing Plan graphic organizer (example for teacher reference)
• Entrance Ticket: Unit 2, Lesson 9 (one per student)
• Online or print dictionaries (including ELL and home language dictionaries; one per small group of students)
• Index cards (one per student)
• Language Dive: Compare and Contrast Model Essay, Focus Statement sentence chunk strips (one per pair of students and one for display)
• Language Dive: Compare and Contrast Model Essay, Focus Statement note-catcher (one per student and one for display)
• Informative Writing checklist (one per student and one for display)
• Informative Writing Plan graphic organizer (one per student and one for display)
• Informative Writing Plan graphic organizer ▲
• Homework: Focus Statements (one per student; see unit download)

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'A big misunderstanding' | Scottie Scheffler issues statement after arrest outside Valhalla Golf Club

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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — The No. 1 golfer in the world Scottie Scheffler was arrested by Louisville police on Friday morning outside of Valhalla Golf Club . 

This happened just hours before he was scheduled to begin his second round of the PGA Championship.

RELATED: Scottie Scheffler arrested by Louisville police outside Valhalla Golf Club

According to an arrest citation, an LMPD officer was directing traffic into Gate 1 of Valhalla Golf Club due to the road being closed in both directions from an earlier  fatal crash involving a pedestrian and a shuttle bus at about 5 a.m . 

Scheffler allegedly attempted to drive past the police officer to get into the club. 

The arrest citation said the officer stopped Scheffler and tried to give him instructions, but Scheffler allegedly refused to listen and accelerated forward "dragging" the officer to the ground. 

Scheffler was detained, booked at Metro Corrections and has now since been released. He returned to Valhalla to continue playing in the tournament, arriving about 45 minutes before his 10:08 tee time.

He called the situation "a big misunderstanding."

Scheffler's full statement, sent to  ESPN Reporter Jeff Darlington , says:

“This morning, I was proceeding as directed by police officers.  It was a very chaotic situation, understandably so considering the tragic accident that had occurred earlier, and there was a big misunderstanding of what I thought I was being asked to do.  I never intended to disregard any of the instructions.  I’m hopeful to put this to the side and focus on golf today. Of course, all of us involved in the tournament express our deepest sympathies to the family of the man who passed away in the earlier accident this morning.  It truly puts everything in perspective.”

RELATED: WATCH: Scottie Scheffler holes out from 167 yards, eagles first hole as a father

He was charged with 2nd degree assault of a police officer, 3rd degree criminal mischief, reckless driving and disregarding signals from officers directing traffic. The assault charge is a felony offense. 

Scheffler will be arraigned on Tuesday at 9 a.m. 

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California Moves Faster to Transform Mental Health System for All, with Urgent Focus on Most Seriously Ill & Homeless

Published: May 14, 2024

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW : California is accelerating the distribution of billions of dollars in new funding available to counties and others to construct outpatient, inpatient, and residential behavioral health facilities and creating new mental health resources for Californians across the state.

REDWOOD CITY – Today, while visiting a behavioral health treatment center under ongoing expansion in San Mateo County, Governor Newsom announced the state is accelerating – in record time – the first round of funding, made available by Prop 1, to boost California’s ongoing transformation of the statewide Behavioral Health system.

In addition to announcing the faster availability of billions of dollars in Behavioral Health Bond construction funding – through the recently passed Prop. 1 – Governor Newsom announced a new website: MentalHealth.ca.gov, which will serve as a one-stop source for people in need of mental health support and includes information about the state’s ongoing behavioral health transformation. And while visiting San Mateo County, Governor Newsom announced the county would be an early adopter of the CARE Act, not waiting for the December 1 deadline to bring lifesaving help to people with untreated schizophrenia spectrum or other psychotic disorders.

WHAT GOVERNOR NEWSOM SAID : “California is moving full steam ahead, getting funding out faster, and implementing key reforms sooner to better help Californians. The status quo is simply unacceptable. People are demanding more accountability, with real results. That is what we are aiming to deliver, but the state cannot do it alone – it is time for local officials to step up and begin to use the tools available to them to make our communities healthier and safer for all. San Mateo has stepped up. Now it’s time for other counties to do the same.”

The Redwood City location is utilizing investments from the Behavioral Health Bridge Housing (BHBH)  program , which, since 2022, has provided funding to short-term “bridge” housing settings to address the immediate and sustainable housing needs of people experiencing homelessness who have serious behavioral health conditions. Treatment centers and campuses like the one highlighted today will be possible all across the state thanks to the recently passed $6.38 Billion bond which builds on state-funded construction over the last three years to open  new treatment and housing sites  with each passing month.

NEW BEHAVIORAL HEALTH CONSTRUCTION FUNDING : Eligible entities, which include counties, cities, tribal entities, non-profits, and for profits, will be able to apply for funding from the first round of the $6.38 billion bond this summer. This bond application timeline is months ahead of the initial schedule, thanks to the work of the Governor’s internal strike team focused on getting results and implementation as quickly as possible.

DETAILS : The Department of Health Care Services (DHCS) has issued its  bond guidance  for behavioral health treatment beds and sites (for $3.3 billion, or 75%, of the $4.4 billion overall, for Launch Ready projects), with the request for application to be posted this summer. Additionally, the California Health and Human Services Agency, California Veterans Affairs Agency (CalVet), and the Department of Housing and Community Development (HCD) at the Business, Consumer Services, and Housing Agency have jointly briefed county, city, and other community and local leaders on their role in implementing this historic transformation and the resources and tools available to them.  HCD, with CalVet, will issue its bond guidance for supportive housing ($2 billion overall, with $1 billion for veterans) by end of 2024.

WHY THIS MATTERS : A  RAND study  and a DCHS  needs assessment  identified a current gap in behavioral health inpatient treatment beds and outpatient treatment centers in California – making it harder for people to get the treatment they need. Cutting tape and moving faster to get bond funding out means key behavioral health infrastructure sites can be built faster. That means more beds and more treatment slots for Californians who need them to get the support and care they need to get healthy. Similarly, supportive housing units will help re-house and keep housed people with both housing and behavioral health challenges who too often suffer on the streets and in our jails.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CALIFORNIA’S BEHAVIORAL HEALTH SYSTEM

NEW MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES WEBSITE : Additionally, Governor Newsom announced the launch of MentalHealth.CA.gov, a one-stop website for people seeking mental health resources available to Californians. Accompanying these life-saving resources is initial high-level information and resources about the ongoing transformation of the state’s behavioral health system, with even more details and local tracking tools coming online in the coming months. This will help Californians see how their own county government is using the tools and resources already available to them.

WHY CALIFORNIANS SHOULD CARE : Governor Newsom is focused on transparency and accountability as the state implements this voter approved Proposition. Version 1.0 of this website has initial information on implementation and current tools available to counties who administer the state’s behavioral health system. This website will continue to be built out to include additional details and data, so people will be able to see how their county compares to other California counties.

VISIT MentalHealth.CA.Gov

CARE ACT EXPEDITED IN SAN MATEO COUNTY : And while in San Mateo County today, Governor Newsom spoke about the county moving to adopt the CARE Act earlier than others – showing real progress and a need from locals to utilize all of the tools currently available to them for the results Californians are demanding.

DETAILS : Over the last 6 months, California’s Health and Human Services Agency (CalHHS) traveled the state performing “site visits” with each of the eight counties currently implementing CARE Court. During these visits, CalHHS has worked to problem solve, share best practices, and identify ways to refine and continually improve the process for all participants and all counties (which must implement no later than December 2024).

WHY STARTING CARE COURT NOW IS IMPORTANT : Spearheaded by Governor Newsom and the Legislature in 2022, the CARE Act is an innovative new pathway to ensure people with untreated schizophrenia spectrum or other psychotic disorders actually get the help they need in the community. In addition to being a tool to engage the individual, this civil court process also includes accountability measures to ensure local behavioral health systems don’t let people fall through the cracks. Seven counties initially implemented the CARE Act in October 2023 and Los Angeles county implemented it in December 2023. Over 450 petitions have already been submitted in just those eight counties in about the first six months. Even more people have been helped due to CARE Act outreach teams who do not need to enter the full CARE Act process but begin receiving help as a result. Additional counties are able to join at any time. San Mateo implementing earlier than required indicates county leadership is serious about tackling the mental health and homelessness crises.

In addition to providing resources and guidance on implementing the CARE Act, DHCS is issuing a  new FAQ  and optional standardized  forms  related to the modernization of conservatorship (SB 43), to add on to the county guidance  released  last month. Two counties have already begun implementing, and these new resources are designed to make it clear that counties do not need to wait until the January 1, 2026 deadline to begin implementing this reform to help gravely disabled people in their communities – one of the many new tools available to them so Californians can begin to see the results in their communities that they deserve.

Rendering of What The Redwood City Location Will Look Like Once Completed

BIGGER PICTURE : Transforming the Mental Health Services Act into the Behavioral Health Services Act and building more community behavioral health treatment sites and supportive housing is the central pillar of Governor Newsom’s Mental Health for All – pulling together significant recent reforms like 988 crisis line, CalHOPE, CARE Act, conservatorship reform, CalAIM behavioral health expansion (including mobile crisis care and telehealth), Medi-Cal expansion to all low-income Californians, Children and Youth Behavioral Health Initiative (including expanding services in schools and on-line), Veterans Health Initiative, Older Adult Behavioral Health Initiative, Behavioral Health Community Infrastructure Program, Behavioral Health Bridge Housing, Behavioral Health CONNECT to address gaps in the community care continuum, expand effective practices, diversify the workforce, and more.

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DHS Announces Proposed Rule and Other Measures to Enhance Security, Streamline Asylum Processing

WASHINGTON – As part of the Biden-Harris Administration’s continued efforts to enhance the security of our border and deliver more timely consequences for those encountered who do not have a legal basis to remain in the United States, today the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), through U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), published a Notice of Proposed Rulemaking (NPRM) that would allow statutory bars to asylum to be applied much earlier in the process. Even though the number of migrants who are subject to these bars is small, this rule would enable DHS to more quickly remove those who are subject to the bars and pose a risk to our national security or public safety.

Federal law bars individuals who pose a national security or public safety risk from asylum and withholding of removal, specifically those who have been convicted of a particularly serious crime, participated in the persecution of others, are inadmissible on national security or terrorism-related grounds, or for whom there are reasonable grounds to deem them a danger to the security of the United States. While anyone who is deemed to pose a public safety threat is taken into custody, the asylum eligibility determination is not currently made until later in the process – at the merits adjudication stage of the asylum and withholding of removal claims. Today’s proposed rule would permit Asylum Officers to consider these bars to asylum and withholding of removal during initial credible fear screening, which happens just days after an individual is encountered. This will allow DHS to expeditiously remove individuals who pose a threat to the United States much sooner than is currently the case, better safeguarding the security of our border and our country.

“The proposed rule we have published today is yet another step in our ongoing efforts to ensure the safety of the American public by more quickly identifying and removing those individuals who present a security risk and have no legal basis to remain here,” said Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas . “We will continue to take action, but fundamentally it is only Congress that can fix what everyone agrees is a broken immigration system.”

Noncitizens who present a national security or public safety risk remain in DHS custody while their cases are referred for full immigration hearings before an immigration judge, a process that can take years and is resource intensive. The proposed rule would allow Asylum Officers to issue denial of claims within days after an individual is encountered when there is evidence that the individual is barred from asylum because of a terrorism, national security, or criminal bar, thereby significantly shortening the overall time between encounter and removal from the United States.

In addition to this proposed rule and in close coordination with vetting and law enforcement partners, DHS is updating its policy and procedures regarding the use of classified information in immigration proceedings. This updated guidance clarifies the circumstances in which classified information should be used in immigration proceedings. Consistent with longstanding practice, DHS will continue to screen and vet individuals prior to their entry to the United States to identify national security or public safety threats and take appropriate action.

The Department also continues enforcing the Circumvention of Lawful Pathways (CLP) rule. This rule incentivizes the use of orderly processes and imposes swifter consequences for those without a legal basis to remain in the United States. Today, USCIS issued revised guidance to Asylum Officers to consider whether an asylum seeker could reasonably relocate to another part of the country of feared persecution when assessing claims of future persecution in all credible fear cases. Internal relocation has always been a part of an analysis of future claims of harm, and this new guidance, consistent with the CLP rule, will ensure early identification and removal of individuals who would ultimately be found ineligible for protection because of their ability to remain safe by relocating elsewhere in the country from which they fled.

The Biden-Harris Administration has already taken numerous actions to address migration challenges in the region and at our border, while overseeing a historic expansion of lawful pathways. These efforts, with partner countries in the region and across the world, have made a significant impact. From May 12, 2023 through May 1, 2024, DHS has removed or returned more than 720,000 individuals, the vast majority of whom crossed the Southwest Border, including more than 109,000 individual family members. That includes removals to 170 countries around the world. Total removals and returns since mid-May 2023 exceed removals and returns in every full fiscal year since 2011. DHS has also significantly expanded the capacity to conduct the credible fear interviews needed to ultimately remove those without a legal basis to stay in the United States.

The Administration again calls on Congress to pass needed reforms and provide DHS the resources and tools it needs to fully implement expedited processing of all individuals encountered at the border. The public is invited to submit comments on the NPRM during the 30-day public comment period from May 13, 2024 to June 12, 2024.

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Scottie Scheffler’s first words on arrest describes ‘chaotic situation’ at PGA Championship

S cottie Scheffler intends to “focus on golf” Friday following his stunning arrest outside Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Ky., ahead of the second round of the PGA Championship.

In a statement to ESPN’s Jeff Darlington, who witnessed and filmed the ordeal, Scheffler said “there was a big misunderstanding of what I thought I was being asked to do” in terms of maneuvering traffic flow following a fatal accident involving a shuttle bus near the course, where the world’s No. 1 golfer was detained and handcuffed.

“This morning, I was proceeding as directed by police officers. It was a very chaotic situation, understandably so considering the tragic accident that had occurred earlier, and there was a big misunderstanding of what I thought I was being asked to do,” the statement read.

“I never intended to disregard any of the instructions. I’m hopeful to put this to the side and focus on golf today.”

Scheffler, 27, concluded his message by offering condolences to the family of the individual lost in the fatal accident.

“Of course, all of us involved in the tournament express our deepest sympathies to the family of the man who passed away in the earlier accident this morning. It truly puts everything in perspective,” Scheffler said.

• World’s top golfer Scottie Scheffler detained, cuffed by cops outside PGA Championship
• New video shows Scottie Scheffler in handcuffs during detainment: ‘Going to jail’
• Scottie Scheffler charged with assault of a police officer in PGA Championship mess
• Scottie Scheffler back at PGA Championship for second round after arrest
• Scottie Scheffler pleads for ‘help’ in video of detainment at PGA Championship

Scheffler was booked and processed around 7:30 a.m. Friday and has been charged with second-degree assault of a police officer, third-degree criminal mischief, reckless driving and disregarding traffic signals, per ESPN .

He was released from custody and returned to Valhalla , where he teed off shortly after 10 a.m. Friday for the second round.

Scheffler, a two-time Masters winner, shot a 4-under 67 to open the tournament Thursday.

The PGA Championship marks his anticipated return to the circuit following the birth of his first child with wife Meredith, a son named Bennett.

‘Legally Blonde’ Prequel Series About Elle Woods’ High School Years Ordered at Amazon

By Joe Otterson

Joe Otterson

TV Reporter

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A “ Legally Blonde ” prequel about the high school years of Elle Woods has been ordered to series at Amazon Prime Video.

The series was reported to be in development at Prime Video in April. The announcement was made as part of Amazon’s upfront presentation to advertisers on Tuesday. Reese Witherspoon, who played Woods in the two “Legally Blonde” films, took the stage in costume (and accompanied by Elle’s chihuahua Brusier) to announce the series order.

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“I truly couldn’t be more excited about this series! Fans will get to know how Elle Woods navigated her world as a teenager with her distinct personality and ingenuity, in ways that only our beloved Elle could do. What could be better than that?!” said Witherspoon in a statement. “I’m extremely grateful to the incredible teams at Prime Video and Hello Sunshine – along with our amazing writer Laura Kittrell – for making this dream of mine come true. ‘Legally Blonde’ is back!”

RELATED CONTENT: Upfronts 2024 FULL COVERAGE

The series hails from creator Laura Kittrell, who will also serve as showrunner and executive producer. Witherspoon executive produces along with Lauren Neustadter via Hello Sunshine, a part of Candle Media. Lauren Kisilevsky and Marc Platt will also executive produce. Amazon MGM Studios will produce.

“One of the most quotable, iconic, and beloved characters that is ingrained in the fabric of Hollywood history has to be Elle Woods, and we are honored to bring her origin story to our global Prime Video customers,” said Vernon Sanders, head of television at Amazon MGM Studios. “Reese and Hello Sunshine’s vision for this series, coupled with Laura Kittrell’s winning voice, made this show completely undeniable.”

Hello Sunshine is repped by CAA and Hansen Jacobson. Laura Kittrell is repped by UTA and Mosaic.

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Caitlin Clark, much like Larry Bird, the focus of talks about race and double standards in sports

Indiana Fever’s Caitlin Clark (22) goes to the basket against Atlanta Dream’s Nia Coffey (12) and Aerial Powers (23) during the second half of a WNBA preseason basketball game Thursday, May 9, 2024, in Indianapolis. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)

FILE - Las Vegas Aces’ A’ja Wilson holds up the championship trophy as she celebrates with her team their win in the WNBA basketball finals against the Connecticut Sun, Sunday, Sept. 18, 2022, in Uncasville, Conn. The two-time defending WNBA champion Las Vegas Aces are favored to win the title again. They return their core four players to the roster from a team that became the first in more than 20 years to repeat as champions. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill, File)

CORRECTS TO CAITLIN CLARK NOT CAITLYN CLARK - LSU’s Angel Reese, left, and Iowa’s Caitlin Clark, right, pose for a photo before the WNBA basketball draft, Monday, April 15, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Adam Hunger)

Indiana Fever guard Caitlin Clark (22) is introduced before the team’s preseason WNBA basketball game against the Atlanta Dream in Indianapolis, Thursday, May 9, 2024. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)

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For much of the past two years, Caitlin Clark has been the centerpiece of the college basketball world.

Now Clark, like NBA Hall of Famer Larry Bird was 45 years ago, is involuntarily the focus of discussions about race and her transition to professional basketball . Though Clark hasn’t said anything to fuel the Black-white narrative surrounding her meteoric rise, talks about a double standard are being had.

“I think it’s a huge thing. I think a lot of people may say it’s not about Black and white, but to me, it is,” Las Vegas Aces star A’ja Wilson said when asked about the race element in Clark’s popularity and before she recently signed two major endorsement deals . “It really is because you can be top notch at what you are as a Black woman, but yet maybe that’s something that people don’t want to see.

“They don’t see it as marketable, so it doesn’t matter how hard I work. It doesn’t matter what we all do as Black women, we’re still going to be swept underneath the rug. That’s why it boils my blood when people say it’s not about race because it is.”

To be clear, Clark is a skilled hardcourt savant from Iowa. Bird was a skilled hardcourt savant from Indiana State. And like Bird, Clark has captivated audiences and brought unmatched attention to women’s basketball with an ability to score from every corner of the court.

Neither Bird nor Clark were the first great white male or female pro basketball players. Jerry West is the actual NBA logo and before Clark, the long list of talented white WNBA players included Sue Bird and Breanna Stewart.

But sports can be elevated by a heated rivalry, particularly when race is involved.

Clark’s rise has come with an on-court bravado that made her must-watch TV as she led the Hawkeyes to back-to-back NCAA championship game appearances. When Bird led the Sycamores to the title game in 1979, he squared off against Magic Johnson in one of the most-watched games in NCAA tourney history.

At Iowa, Clark’s on-court rival in the NCAA Tournament was former LSU star Angel Reese . Then she took on women’s juggernaut South Carolina and coach Dawn Staley. The matchups created the kind of made-for-social media moments that captivated audiences, regardless of gender.

The matchups also led to ongoing discussions about how race plays a factor in the treatment afforded to Clark, a white woman from “America’s Heartland,” as compared to Black counterparts like Reese.

Clark has said she and Reese are just pieces of a larger movement.

“I would say me and Angel have always been great competitors,” Clark said prior to Iowa’s Elite Eight matchup with Reese and LSU in March. “I think Angel would say the same, like it’s not just us in women’s basketball. That’s not the only competitive thing about where our game is at, and that’s what makes it so good. We need multiple people to be really good.”

Still, the race-based debate over perceived slights to Black players or favoritism toward Clark is not going away as the No. 1 pick in the WNBA draft prepares for her first regular-season game on Tuesday night when Indiana plays Connecticut.

“I think new fans, or maybe returning fans to women’s college basketball, have been drawn in. In part because of Clark. But also, you know, because of the LSU-Iowa rivalry,” said Victoria Jackson, a sports historian and clinical associate professor of history at Arizona State University.

“There are basketball reasons,” Jackson said, “but also there are racial reasons for why Clark has been able to kind of break off into a completely different stratosphere from players that came before her.”

Because of the perceived double-standard, nearly everything involving Clark gets questioned:

— Clark’s first preseason game was streamed , but Reese’s was not.

— Clark gets an endorsement deal. Other established Black stars not so much.

— If Reese talks trash , it’s viewed as unsportsmanlike. If Clark does it, she’s being competitive.

— Reese received some backlash for going to the Met Gala before a game, raising questions would there have been same type of scrutiny if Clark had graced the red carpet.

Wilson, who signed with Gatorade last week and announced Saturday that she is getting a Nike signature shoe, and others have cited how companies are clamoring to be in business with Clark as an example of the disparity in how players are treated.

The deal Clark struck with Nike will reportedly pay her $28 million over eight years — making it the richest sponsorship contract for a women’s basketball player, and it includes a signature shoe. Before Wilson’s announcement Saturday, the only other active players in the WNBA with a signature shoe were Elena Delle Donne, Sabrina Ionescu and Stewart – who are all white.

The perception extends beyond endorsements.

While Clark’s preseason debut was available on the WNBA League Pass streaming app, a post on the X platform from the WNBA incorrectly stated that all games , including the debut of Reese and fellow rookie former South Carolina standout Kamilla Cardoso for the Chicago Sky, would also be available.

So, a fan in attendance at the Sky’s game livestreamed it. It received more than 620,000 views.

In an apology post explaining why the Sky’s game wasn’t also available, the WNBA said Clark’s game was available as part of a limited free preview of its streaming app.

There also have been racial components to how Clark is treated on social media as compared to others, most notably Reese.

Reese, who has previously spoken about the vitriol she received online, was recently attacked again after she missed a preseason practice to attend the Met Gala. Clark also has been the target of online criticism, but apparently not to the extent that Reese has been.

Online hate-speech accounts for approximately 1 percent of all social media posts in the context of sports, according to Daniel Kilvington, course director in Media & Cultural Studies at Leeds Beckett University in Leeds, England.

“Although this might sound quite low, consider how much traffic is online and how many posts are made every single day,” said Kilvington, whose work with the Tackling Online Hate in Football research group has looked at the issue through the sport of soccer. “One percent is therefore 1% too high as athletes are primary targets of hate-speech, harassment and death threats simply for playing a game they love.”

But as Clark’s popularity grows, so will the debate. Jackson believes it’s a good time to openly have discussions about it.

“I don’t know how many times I read and heard her described as generational talent,” the ASU professor said. “And whenever we’re making those cases, I immediately think, well, who are the other generational talents we’ve had? And, I think too often the athletes could be placed in that category who have been Black women have not had that sort of gushing attention. And especially the kind of general public, crossover saturation that Caitlin Clark has had.

“There are overlapping, intersecting reasons for why that is. But, I think we can’t not think about it if the goal here is to have equitable treatment of the athletes in the sport.”

AP Sports Writer Mark Anderson and AP reporter Corey Williams contributed.

WNBA: https://apnews.com/hub/wnba-basketball