essay on trust in a relationship

Trust in a Relationship

Examine the role and importance of trust in relationships, be it personal, professional, or social. Discuss how trust is built, broken, and restored. Include psychological perspectives on trust dynamics, its impact on relationship quality, and strategies for cultivating a trustworthy environment. On PapersOwl, there’s also a selection of free essay templates associated with Friendship.

How it works

When someone thinks about the most significant quality in a family member, a friend, or a person he or she meets new, the term ‘trust’ immediately comes to mind. It is something that one cannot ignore. It has always been there in human nature. There are different variations within the trust for example naked trust or dry trust etc. Therefore, Trust is a complex fragile term involved in a person’s day-to-day life, it plays an important role in forming or creating rifts in relationships and is present in everyone’s life from birth till death even if he/she is not aware of it.

A group of lab partners was having a heated argument among themselves one hour before their lab report was due. They had divided their work by forming two teams. Unfortunately, both the groups came up with different calculations. Tension and sweat had stormed everybody’s faces. In this case, Mike, a student is known for his genius thinking spoke up “Guys! Trust me, I’m sure my group did it right.” “Trust!” John cried out with a sense of frustration and cation in his voice. Everyone around the table also pounced on this pitiful world, while poor disappointed Mike retreated back to his original position on his stool. Trust is an integral part of everybody’s day-to-day life.

But what does it really mean? According to Merriam Webster, the term ‘trust’ means assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something (Merriam Webster). In simple terms, trust refers to having faith in someone, without knowing what the outcome would be. Trust is just like glass. Once it is shattered; it will never be the same. That’s why trust has such a high value in this world. When someone experiences the pain in trust, he or she cannot take the risk of getting hurt again. Thus, they always try to build walls of emotional guard around them for protection. A sense of fear prevails in their minds which makes them reluctant to trust again. The most common reason why people lose trust is when someone lies, betrays or fails to uphold promises. When trust is broken, the only possible solution is forgiveness which is very hard to grant at that moment. Many ‘turncoats’ have the tendency to take advantage of the trust you put in them without even thinking about the possible consequences you’ll have to face for a split second. So chose wisely when you trust someone no matter how big or small the reason is. Once it is broken, it can take a year or possibly a decade to gain trust again. However, it will certainly not be the same as before.

Overall, trust is a maze, which is hard to solve, a barrier in life, and an extraordinary feeling which sometimes leaves all of us vulnerable in front of those ignorant and inhumane turncoats. Trust can be found in ordinary things, for example, a pet relying on its owner for food and care, or it can also be seen in complex and many serious issues, for example, two cops watching each other back at work. Both of them blindly trusting each other with their lives. Just imagine the level of trust between them. Life is precious to everyone and giving it in the hands of another person is certainly a very daring thing to do. Every friendship is built upon trust. Good friends will never let other friends do something wrong or stab them in the back in any form throughout their lives and will expect others to do the same for them. If someone knows that one can handle responsibility and is capable of doing the right thing even if they are not asked, he will for sure extend a hand of support. A friendship where trust is considered sacred is always a fruitful one and lasts till the last breath of those involved. However, this is not always the case. When friends take each other’s trust them lightly, that relationship is bound to fail. This is summed up by Steig Larrson’s famous saying in his work “Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.” ( The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). Let’s dive into a real-world example that my uncle Adolf Hitler disclosed while I was interviewing him. (Interview with uncle Adolf Hitler). “So uncle, you are sixty-six years old now, have you ever encountered a friendship where you got along pretty well initially and then the guy broke your trust?” I asked him closely. “Yea, when I was in my forties. I wanted to buy stocks in the stock market. I had like $70000 sum of money. One of my old school friends offered me to invest in his business, well that devil turned out to be a traitor. He stole my money and shook me off with a reason that the business market went into loss and my cash went down the drain!” There was a pain in his eyes. “I am so sorry for your loss” I replied with sympathy. “Listen here young chap, the world is pretty dark. Ya never know what’s out there.

Some people are wolves inside with sheep costumes on top to deceive you”. He replied with a cold face. Those right there, are words of wisdom with the same lesson, chose wisely who you trust! Trust has always been an important part of everyone’s life. It is there whether they are aware of it or not. When we are born, we know our parents will shower their love and affection upon us. In our teenage, we all expect our family and friends alike to guide us on the straight path and support us in making correct decisions. During our high school and college years, we trust our teachers to grade us accurately and polish us in the best possible way for the real world. All of us expect our life partners to love and take care of us throughout our adult years. We rely on our children and relatives to take our care once we are old. Even on the day we die, we know that our relatives, family, and friends will bid us farewell at our funeral into the afterworld. We all trust everyone we know to pray for our forgiveness from God after our death. Although our destination in the afterlife depends upon our deeds in this world, we all sometimes expect and trust God to grant us heaven. Therefore, trust follows us everywhere throughout our lives. It is the moral foundation of every relationship. It is like constructing a building. As you cannot build something without a firm foundation. Similarly, you cannot build a relationship without trust. Always trust someone who is special to you. A blind trust may lead you to failure. This the reality and we all have to live with it.

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What is Trust in Relationship? Exploring the Key Elements of Building Strong Bonds

Trust in relationship is a vital component of any healthy companionship. It is the foundation upon which a strong and lasting bond is built. Trust is the belief in another person’s reliability, honesty, and integrity. The feeling of safety and security comes with knowing that someone has your best interests at heart.

Trust in relationship is for both partners to feel valued and respected. Without trust, there can be no intimacy or emotional connection. Trust is not something that can be demanded or forced but rather something that is earned over time. It requires open communication, honesty, and consistency in actions and words.

Building trust in a relationship takes effort and dedication from both partners. It involves being vulnerable, taking risks, and being willing to forgive and move forward when mistakes are made. Trust can be damaged by lies, betrayal, or broken promises but can also be repaired with time and effort. In the following sections, we will explore the meaning of trust in a relationship, why it is essential, and how to build and maintain it.

Understanding Trust in Relationship

Trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship. It is the foundation upon which a strong bond between two people is built. Trust means faith in our partner’s character, honesty, and reliability. It is the belief that our partner will act in our best interest and not intentionally hurt us.

Trust in relationship is not something that can be built overnight. It takes time and effort to establish trust in a relationship. It requires consistent and reliable behavior from both partners. Trust can be broken if one partner violates the other’s trust, which can be challenging to regain.

We need to communicate openly and honestly with our partners to build trust. We need to be transparent and share our thoughts and feelings. We need to listen actively and respond empathetically to our partner’s concerns and needs.

It is also essential to be consistent in our actions. If we make promises, we need to keep them. If we say we will do something, we need to follow through. Consistency builds trust, and it shows our partner that we are reliable.

Another way to build trust is to be vulnerable with our partner. When we share our fears and insecurities, we show our partners that we trust them enough to be open and honest. It also allows our partners to support and show us that they care.

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It requires consistent and reliable behavior, open and honest communication, active listening, and vulnerability. Building trust takes time and effort, but it is worth it to establish a strong bond with our partner.

The Importance of Trust

Trust is a crucial aspect of any relationship, whether it is a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a professional collaboration. Without trust, a relationship cannot thrive and grow. We rely on trust to feel secure and comfortable with our partners, to share our deepest thoughts and feelings, and to work together towards common goals.

When we trust someone, we feel confident they will act in our best interests and respect our boundaries. Trust allows us to be vulnerable and open, knowing that our partner will not judge us or betray our confidence. It creates a sense of safety and security, allowing us to engage in the relationship entirely.

Trust also plays a crucial role in communication and conflict resolution. When we trust our partner, we are more likely to listen to their perspective and work towards a mutually beneficial solution. We are less likely to become defensive or aggressive, and more likely to approach disagreements with an open mind and a willingness to compromise.

In contrast, a relationship can quickly become strained and difficult when trust is lacking. Without trust, we may feel guarded and defensive, reluctant to share our thoughts and feelings. We may become suspicious of our partner’s motives and actions, leading to jealousy, resentment, and conflict.

Trust allows us to feel safe, secure, and supported and communicate effectively and constructively resolve conflicts. Without trust, a relationship cannot thrive, and it is up to both partners to work together to build and maintain this essential foundation.

Building Trust in Relationship

Trust is a crucial element in any healthy relationship. Trust is necessary for a relationship to avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, and, ultimately, a lack of intimacy. Building trust takes time, effort, and patience. Here are some key factors that can help build trust in a relationship:

Open Communication

One of the most critical factors in building trust is open communication. When we communicate openly and honestly with our partners, we create an environment of transparency and vulnerability. This allows both partners to feel heard, understood, and valued. It’s essential to be clear and direct when communicating and actively listen to our partner’s perspective. Doing so can build a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and perspectives and create a stronger foundation of trust.

Consistency

Consistency is another crucial factor in building trust. When we consistently act in ways that align with our words and promises, we demonstrate that we are reliable and trustworthy. This means following through on commitments, being on time, and being consistent in our behavior. When our actions match our words, we build a sense of security and dependability in the relationship.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. When we practice empathy, we demonstrate that we care about our partner’s emotions and well-being. This can help build trust by creating a sense of safety and security in the relationship. By showing empathy, we can make a deeper connection with our partners and build a stronger foundation of trust.

Building trust in a relationship takes time, effort, and patience. By practicing open communication, consistency, and empathy, we can create a strong foundation of trust that will help our relationship thrive.

Challenges to Trust

Trust is a vital component of any relationship, and it can be challenging to maintain in the face of various obstacles. Here are some common challenges that can undermine trust in a relationship:

One of the most significant threats to trust is infidelity . When one partner cheats on the other, it can shatter the foundation of trust on which the relationship was built. Infidelity can cause feelings of betrayal, hurt, and anger, and it can take a long time to rebuild trust after such an event.

Dishonesty can come in many forms, from little white lies to more significant deceptions. Trust can erode over time when one partner is not truthful with the other. Even seemingly small lies can add up and create a sense of unease and suspicion. It is essential to be honest with your partner, even if it is uncomfortable or difficult.

Lack of Communication

A lack of communication can also be a significant challenge to trust. When partners do not talk openly and honestly with each other, it can create a sense of distance and disconnection. Misunderstandings can occur, and assumptions can be made, leading to mistrust. Communicating openly and frequently with your partner is crucial to maintaining a strong sense of trust.

Trust is a crucial component of any relationship and can be challenging to maintain. Infidelity, dishonesty, and a lack of communication are just a few of the obstacles that can undermine trust. By being honest, communicating openly, and working together, couples can overcome these challenges and build a stronger, more resilient foundation of trust.

Rebuilding Trust

When trust is broken in a relationship, it can be challenging to rebuild. However, it is possible to regain trust with effort and commitment. This section will explore three essential elements of rebuilding trust in a relationship: Forgiveness, Transparency, and Patience.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a crucial step in rebuilding trust. It involves letting go of resentment and anger towards someone who broke your trust. Forgiveness is not about forgetting what happened but rather a decision to move forward and work towards rebuilding the relationship.

To forgive someone, it’s essential to acknowledge their wrongdoing and express how their actions have hurt you. It’s also vital to communicate your expectations for the future and establish boundaries to prevent similar incidents from happening again.

Transparency

Transparency is another critical element of rebuilding trust. It involves being open and honest with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Transparency helps to build a sense of security and reassurance in the relationship.

To be transparent, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. It’s also crucial to follow through on your promises and commitments. Transparency requires consistency and effort, but it is vital to rebuilding trust.

Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. It’s essential to understand that trust cannot be regained overnight. It requires consistent effort and commitment from both partners.

To be patient, it’s essential to acknowledge that rebuilding trust is a process. It involves taking small steps towards rebuilding the relationship, such as being consistent, communicating openly, and showing empathy towards your partner’s feelings.

Rebuilding trust in a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment. Forgiveness, Transparency, and Patience are essential elements in the process of rebuilding trust. We can regain trust and build a stronger, more resilient relationship by working together.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some ways to build trust in a relationship.

Trust is built over time, through consistent actions and behaviors. Here are some ways to build trust in a relationship:

• Be honest and transparent with your partner.
• Keep your promises and follow through on commitments.
• Communicate openly and actively listen to your partner.
• Show empathy and understanding towards your partner’s feelings and needs.
• Respect your partner’s boundaries and privacy.
• Be reliable and dependable in your actions and behaviors.

What are some common causes of mistrust in a relationship?

Mistrust can arise from a variety of factors, including:

• Infidelity or betrayal.
• Lack of communication or dishonesty.
• Broken promises or unfulfilled commitments.
• Disrespect or disregard for boundaries.
• Inability to empathize or understand each other’s feelings.
• Past experiences or trauma that affect one’s ability to trust.

How can you regain trust in a relationship after a betrayal?

Rebuilding trust after a betrayal takes time and effort from both partners. Here are some steps to take:

• Take responsibility for your actions and apologize sincerely.
• Be patient and understanding towards your partner’s feelings.
• Show consistent and reliable behavior over time.
• Communicate openly and actively listen to your partner’s concerns.
• Seek professional help or counseling if needed.

What are some signs that trust has been broken in a relationship?

Some signs that trust has been broken in a relationship include:

• Suspicion or jealousy towards your partner.
• Lack of communication or avoidance of certain topics.
• Inability to rely on your partner or feeling unsupported.
• Feeling anxious or worried about the relationship.
• Loss of intimacy or emotional connection.

What are some ways to show trust in a relationship?

Showing trust in a relationship involves actions and behaviors that demonstrate reliability and dependability. Here are some ways to show trust in a relationship:

• Communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
• Be consistent in your actions and behaviors.
• Show empathy and understanding towards your partner’s feelings.

How important is trust in a healthy relationship?

Trust is a fundamental component of a healthy relationship. It allows partners to feel safe and secure with each other, and to rely on each other for support and understanding. Without trust, a relationship can become unstable and fraught with anxiety and uncertainty. Building and maintaining trust is essential for a strong, healthy relationship.

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Cultivating trust: 8 essential components for relationship success.

Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Whether it's a romantic partnership or a friendship, trust forms the foundation upon which meaningful connections are built. Establishing and nurturing trust is a continual process that requires time, effort, and commitment from both parties. This blog will go over seven key factors that will help you to build trust in your relationship from the ground up. By the end of this blog, you’ll understand how to foster a sense of security and mutual understanding that will be able to survive trials and withstand the test of time. Ler’s get started with our first topic!  

Open Communication 

Effective communication is the cornerstone of trust. It involves expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly while also actively listening to your partner. Create an environment where open dialogue is encouraged, and feelings can be shared without fear of judgment. Clearly express your expectations, concerns, and boundaries, and encourage your significant other to do the same. Remember that communication is a two-way street and active listening is just as important as expressing yourself.  

Consistency and Reliability 

Consistency is key when it comes to building trust. Be reliable and follow through on your promises. Consistently demonstrate that you can be counted on, whether it's being on time for dates, meeting deadlines or fulfilling commitments. This helps create a sense of predictability and reliability, reassuring your partner that they can depend on you. Reliability builds a foundation of trust by showing that your actions align with your words.  

Transparency 

Honesty and transparency go hand-in-hand in building trust. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly. Avoid keeping secrets or withholding information that might be important to the relationship. It’s important to be transparent about your intentions and actions because it fosters an atmosphere of trust. If there are issues or challenges, address them openly rather than trying to sweep them under the rug. Transparency builds a sense of authenticity, demonstrating that you have nothing to hide.  

Demonstrate Empathy 

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Show genuine concern for your partner's emotions and experiences. Validate their feelings, even if you don't necessarily agree with them. Empathy creates a connection by demonstrating that you care about your significant other’s well-being. It's essential to be supportive during both joyous moments and challenging times as this fosters a deep sense of trust and emotional security.  

Set and Respect Boundaries 

Establishing and respecting boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Clearly communicate your own boundaries and be attentive to your significant other. This mutual understanding helps build trust by creating a safe space for both individuals. When boundaries are respected, it demonstrates a level of consideration and regard for each others needs and comfort. This promotes a healthy dynamic where both partners feel secure and understood.  

Apologize and Forgive 

Mistakes are inevitable in any relationship. What matters most is how these mistakes are addressed. Taking responsibility for your actions and offering a sincere apology when needed is a crucial aspect of building trust. On the flip side, being able to forgive and move forward is equally important. Holding onto grudges erodes trust over time, while forgiveness allows the relationship to heal and grow stronger.  

The significance of trust becomes even more pronounced during moments of conflict. How well do you navigate disagreements and challenges as a couple? How the two of you navigate and resolve conflict determines the resilience of your   bond. Approaching conflicts with empathy, actively seeking resolutions, and learning from shared experiences contribute to the relationship's growth.  

Be Dependable in Times of Need 

One of the true tests of trust is how the two of you support each other during challenging times. Be there for your partner when they need you the most, offering a shoulder to lean on or practical assistance. Demonstrating dependability during difficult moments solidifies the trust your significant other has in you. This reliability creates a sense of security, reinforcing the belief that you are a constant and reliable presence in their life. Remember, you’re both in this relationship together and you know each other well. What would you want when you’re in need?  

Remember To Be Vulnerable 

Additionally, a vital aspect of trust-building is cultivating a sense of vulnerability. Allowing yourself to be open and authentic builds a bridge of understanding between you and your partner. Share your dreams, fears, and aspirations with each other. This will help you both create a deeper connection that goes beyond surface-level interactions. Vulnerability should never be an avoided topic. You'll find vulnerability will create a stronger relationship and build intimacy.  

By fostering open communication, consistency, transparency, empathy, respect for boundaries, the ability to apologize and forgive, and vulnerability, you can create a strong foundation of trust. Remember that trust takes time to develop, but the efforts invested in building it will contribute to a lasting and meaningful connection. Ultimately, a relationship built on trust is more likely to withstand adversity, creating a bond that enriches the lives of both people.

In the intricate tapestry of human connections, trust acts as the thread that weaves relationships together. The journey of building trust extends beyond the initial stages, requiring continuous effort and adaptability. As your relationship evolves, it is so important to remain attentive to each other's changing needs and aspirations. Building trust is an art that requires both people to be active participants. If you nurture the roots of open communication, consistency, transparency, empathy, and respect for boundaries, you lay the groundwork for a relationship that flourishes with trust. Embrace the journey, celebrate the milestones, and make sure cherish the trust you co-create. This is an invaluable treasure that transforms relationships into enduring sources of joy and fulfillment.    

Thank you so much for reading our blog! If you’re on the lookout for more like this one, explore our other articles covering habits to make your relationship thrive and ways to express love to your person. Don’t forget to visit our Pinterest page where we regularly post pins aimed to help you better your relationship!

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Why You May Have Trust Issues and How to Overcome Them

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Daniel B. Block, MD, is an award-winning, board-certified psychiatrist who operates a private practice in Pennsylvania.

Kemal Yildirim / Getty Images

• Why Trust Matters

Signs of Trust Issues

Types of trust issues.

• Causes of Distrust
• Overcoming Trust Issues

Learn to Trust Yourself

Trust is a critical part of any relationship. Without trust—especially trust between two romantic partners—it is difficult to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship . People who have experienced some type of betrayal, such as unfaithfulness in a relationship, may develop trust issues that can interfere with future relationships.

Trust issues can manifest in a variety of ways. For example, a person who finds it difficult to trust may not believe what other people say. They may feel suspicious of what others want from them and may question other people's intentions and motivations. It makes it incredibly difficult to develop an intimate, close connection with another person.

This article discusses trust issues, including the signs that you might have problems with trust and what causes a lack of faith in other people. It also covers some of the steps that you can take to overcome problems with trust.

Why Trust Issues Are Harmful

Trust has a number of benefits that are important for the health of your relationships as well as your own emotional well-being. Trust allows you to:

• Be vulnerable
• Be yourself
• Feel safe and secure
• Focus on positivity
• Increase closeness and intimacy
• Minimize conflict

Trust is important in relationships because it allows you the opportunity to relax, be yourself, and depend on another person. It provides you with the safety and security you need to turn to another person for comfort, reassurance, assistance, and affection.

Trust is the belief that another person is honest and reliable. It is a feeling that you can depend on that person because they offer safety and security. Trust has been described as a firm belief in the ability, strength, reliability, and truth of someone or something.

There are a number of different behaviors that might indicate that you or your partner have a problem with trusting others. Some of these include:

• Always assuming the worst : Your trust issues could lead you to assume the worst about people around you, even when they have proven themselves trustworthy in the past. For example, when someone offers to help you, you wonder if they are expecting something from you later on.
• Suspiciousness : Trust issues can make you feel suspicious about other people's intentions, even if there is little to indicate that their actions are suspect. You might feel like others are trying to harm you or deceive you.
• Self-sabotage : Trust issues often lead to self-sabotage . For example, you might engage in behaviors that interfere with your relationship because you assume it's better to end things now rather than be disappointed later.
• Unhealthy relationships : People with trust issues almost always struggle to build healthy, long-lasting relationships. It's normal for trust to take a while to develop within romantic relationships, but people without trust may never experience this type of connection.
• Lack of forgiveness : When trust is an issue, it is difficult—if not impossible—to move on after a betrayal of trust has occurred. This inability to forgive and forget can affect your entire life; not just your interactions with others. It can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, bitterness, and regret.
• Distancing yourself : In many cases, a lack of trust can lead people to build a wall between themselves and other people. You avoid relationships altogether because you fear betrayal or disappointment.
• Focusing on the negative : No matter the situation, you always focus on what you expect will go wrong. You tend to notice other people’s flaws, weaknesses, or mistakes rather than focusing on their positive qualities.

When trust interferes with your ability to form healthy, stable relationships, it can also leave you feeling isolated, lonely, and misunderstood.

Trust problems don't just affect your romantic relationships. They can create conflict and poor communication in any type of relationship, whether it is with your friends, co-workers, or other family members.

Some common types of relationships that can be affected by trust issues include:

• Romantic relationships : People with trust issues often struggle to rely on or believe in their romantic partners. This can lead to a range of problems in relationships, including trust-related infidelity, unwillingness to commit , and difficulty apologizing when trust has been broken.
• Friendships : Just as people have trust issues within romantic relationships, they might also struggle with trusting their friends. Difficulty trusting friends might stem from a fear of disappointment or betrayal. Being let down by people in the past can make it hard to open yourself up to trusting friends again in the future.
• Workplace relationships : There are many reasons why someone might not trust co-workers. They might be concerned that their co-workers are conspiring against them, for instance, or just assume that trusting co-workers is not that important.

Generalized trust refers to a belief in whether or not most other people can be trusted. It can affect a person's ability to trust people, groups, organizations, and governments. Research suggests that this type of trust is influenced by a variety of forces, including culture, social interaction experiences throughout life, and media influences.

Problems with trust can take a toll in many different areas of your life. It can make your romantic relationships more fraught, interfere with your ability to maintain friendships, and contribute to conflict in the workplace.

What Causes Trust Issues?

A 2017 study found that a tendency to trust is influenced by genetic factors. Distrust, on the other hand, is not linked to genetics and is primarily associated with socialization factors, including family dynamics and influences.

People often have trust issues because they have been betrayed in the past. Early childhood experiences, in particular, play a major role in shaping your ability to trust the people around you.

Psychologist Erik Erikson developed a theory of development that suggested that the earliest years of life are all about learning whether the people around you could be trusted with your care and safety. Whether you learn this trust or mistrust , he suggested, plays a foundational role in future development.

This means that trust issues could stem from any number of sources, including:

• Betrayal in a relationship : Infidelity is incredibly hurtful and can lead to trust issues in future relationships.
• Parental conflicts : If children witness trust problems within their family, they may fear that the same thing will happen to them in future romantic relationships in adulthood.
• Social rejection : Being rejected by peers during childhood or adolescence may also make it difficult to trust other people. This type of trust issue can be exacerbated when the person being rejected is unable to determine why they are being excluded. Repeated rejections can make trust issues that much more difficult to overcome.
• Negative life experiences : People who have experienced trauma—especially while growing up—are likely to develop trust issues in adulthood. These trust issues could manifest in many different ways, including difficulty trusting friends or romantic partners, fear of trust-related betrayal, or difficulty forgiving people for breaking their trust.
• Attachment styles : Experts also suggest that your attachment style , or your characteristic pattern of behavior in a relationship, also plays a role in how you respond to trust in relationships. People with a secure attachment style may be more likely to trust others and forgive mistakes. Those with insecure attachment styles, on the other hand, struggle more with trust and are more likely to experience jealousy and anxiety in relationships.

Having one or more of these types of trust problems does not necessarily mean that you have a problem with trust. But it may indicate that you need to address these issues if they are causing you pain or preventing you from forming or maintaining interpersonal relationships .

Trust issues are often connected to negative experiences in the past. Being let down or betrayed by people who you trusted—whether it was a friend, partner, parent, or other trusted figure or institution—can interfere with your ability to believe in others.

How to Overcome Trust Issues

While it can be a challenging emotional undertaking, it is possible to overcome problems with trust. Here are a few trust-building strategies you can use:

Build Trust Slowly

It is important to trust people enough to allow them into your life and, in some cases, to forgive them for their mistakes. Taking your time with it can sometimes help. If you find yourself trying to trust too quickly (and perhaps, too intensely), it may be time to pull back and work up to that level of trust again.

Talk About Your Trust Issues

While you don’t need to provide every detail about what happened to you in the past, being open about why you struggle with trust can help others understand you better. By communicating with your partner , they can be more aware of how their actions might be interpreted.

Distinguish Between Trust and Control

People with trust issues often feel a need for control . This can sometimes manifest as mistrusting behavior. You might feel like you are being betrayed or taken advantage of if you don't have complete control over every situation.

However, this will only hurt your relationships in the long run. Learning how much control you should yield in a given situation is key to building trust with other people.

Make Trust a Priority

Trusting others can be difficult, but trust-building is an essential part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Make trust a priority in your life—even if it's challenging to do.  

Be Trustworthy

If you try to build trust with someone else, you have to be willing to trust them first. This means being open about your feelings, opinions, thoughts, and limits.

It also means being understanding when the person breaks that trust because everyone makes mistakes. Learning how to balance these two ideas will help establish healthy interpersonal relationships that are based on trust.

Consider Therapy

Therapy can also be helpful for overcoming trust issues. The therapeutic alliance that you form with your therapist can be a powerful tool for learning how to trust other people.

By working with an experienced mental health professional, you can learn more about why you struggle with trust and learn new coping skills that will help you start to rebuild trust in your relationships.

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We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

One of the best ways to practice trust is to trust yourself. This doesn’t mean you should never question yourself or your choices. It just means that you should build a stronger self-awareness that can help guide your judgments and interactions with others.

Practicing mindfulness is one strategy that can be helpful. When you utilize mindfulness, you are able to become more aware of how you are feeling in the present moment without worrying about the past and future.

There are many things that you can do to overcome trust issues. Starting slow, communicating your needs, trying therapy, and learning to trust yourself can help.

A Word From Verywell

Having trust issues can be difficult, but trust-building is an essential part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Make trust a priority in your life—even if it's challenging to do. 

If you try to build trust with someone else, you have to trust yourself first. This means being open about your feelings, opinions, thoughts, and limits. It also means being understanding when the other person makes mistakes.

Learning how to balance these two ideas will help establish healthy interpersonal relationships that are based on trust, respect, and care.

Wilkins CH. Effective engagement requires trust and being trustworthy . Med Care . 2018;56(10 Suppl 1):S6-S8. doi:10.1097/MLR.0000000000000953

Arikewuyo AO, Eluwole KK, Özad B. Influence of lack of trust on romantic relationship problems: the mediating role of partner cell phone snooping . Psychol Rep . 2021;124(1):348-365. doi:10.1177/0033294119899902

Thoresen S, Blix I, Wentzel-Larsen T, Birkeland MS. Trusting others during a pandemic: investigating potential changes in generalized trust and its relationship with pandemic-related experiences and worry .  Front Psychol . 2021;12:698519. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.698519

Van Lange PAM. Generalized trust: four lessons from genetics and culture . Curr Dir Psychol Sci . 2015;24(1):71-76. doi:10.1177/0963721414552473

Reimann M, Schilke O, Cook KS. Trust is heritable, whereas distrust is not . Proc Natl Acad Sci . 2017;114(27):7007-7012. doi:10.1073/pnas.1617132114

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) .

Rodriguez LM, DiBello AM, Øverup CS, Neighbors C. The price of distrust: trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse . Partner Abuse . 2015;6(3):298-319. doi:10.1891/1946-6560.6.3.298

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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7 Elements of Trust: The Foundation of a Strong Relationship

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

In This Article

In the complex dance of human connection, relationships thrive on elements of trust. Understanding the seven crucial elements that compose trust lays the groundwork for resilient bonds. 

From communication to reliability, delve into the building blocks that foster a strong foundation and enduring connections in the intricate tapestry of relationships. Trust forms the essence of resilient relationships in the intricate dance of human connection. 

What is trust in a relationship?

Trust is the bedrock of healthy relationships , an intricate weave of reliability, transparency, and vulnerability. It’s the belief in the integrity of another, founded on consistent actions and open communication. In essence, elements of trust are the emotional currency that underpins connections, fostering a sense of security and mutual understanding. 

Trust, an intricate weave of reliability, transparency, and vulnerability, is the emotional currency underpinning connections. It relies on the belief in the integrity of the other, grounded in consistent actions and open communication.

Why is trust so important in a relationship?

Trust is the lifeblood of relationships, shaping the emotional landscape. It forms the basis of intimacy, fostering a sense of security and understanding. 

When trust is present, individuals feel safe to be vulnerable, communicate openly , and rely on one another. So, how does trust work in a relationship? It transforms relationships, infusing them with resilience and deep connection.

To learn more about the importance of trust, click here .

What are the 7 elements of trust in a relationship?

Trust is the bedrock of any healthy and thriving relationship. The intangible force binds partners, fostering a sense of security and connection. Understanding the various elements of trust contributing to building and sustaining trust is crucial for creating a robust foundation.

The seven elements of trust—communication, reliability, transparency, vulnerability, accountability, empathy, and shared values—are the building blocks for a strong relationship foundation. Here are the critical elements of trust in a relationship explained

1. Communication

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of trust. Partners need to feel they can express themselves without fear of judgment or reprisal. This involves not only sharing thoughts and feelings but also active listening. Open communication, active listening, and respect for boundaries are crucial. 

Additionally, the willingness to be vulnerable, accountable, and empathetic, along with shared values, reinforces the trust that binds partners. 

When both individuals in a relationship feel heard and understood, it builds a strong sense of confidence. It’s woven from key elements of trust like open communication, reliability, transparency, vulnerability, accountability, empathy, and shared values. 

2. Reliability

Consistency and reliability in actions and words are paramount elements of trust. When partners do what they say they will and follow through on commitments, it creates a predictable and stable environment. Unfulfilled promises or inconsistencies can erode trust quickly, highlighting the importance of reliability in building and maintaining trust.

3. Transparency

Transparency is being open and honest about one’s actions, intentions, and feelings. It involves sharing information willingly and not withholding essential details. There are no hidden agendas in transparent relationships, and partners can trust that they understand each other’s lives and motivations.

4. Vulnerability

Among the types of trust in relationships, also deeply connected is vulnerability. When partners are willing to be open and vulnerable, sharing fears, insecurities, and past experiences creates a sense of intimacy and connection. 

Building trust involves intentional actions and a shared commitment to understanding and supporting each other. It requires open communication, consistency, active listening, respect for boundaries, and apologizing and forgiving. Cultivating trust also involves aligning values, embracing vulnerability, practicing empathy, mastering conflict resolution, and investing quality time in the relationship.

5. Accountability

Taking responsibility for one’s actions and being accountable for mistakes is essential for trust. No one is perfect, and misunderstandings or missteps are inevitable. However, the key is acknowledging these mistakes, offering sincere apologies, and demonstrating a commitment to rectifying any harm caused. 

Clear boundaries, transparency, and seeking professional guidance are vital steps in this gradual process that requires commitment and empathy. Assessing a partner’s trustworthiness involves observing consistency, transparency, honesty, and reliability. Open communication is critical, allowing for discussions about concerns and the partner’s willingness to address issues openly.

Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another. It’s the ability to put oneself in the other person’s shoes, recognize their emotions, and respond compassionately. When partners show empathy toward each other, it creates a supportive and caring environment, reinforcing the emotional connection crucial for trust. 

Trust transforms relationships, allowing individuals to feel safe, communicate openly, and rely on each other, infusing connections with resilience and deep contact .

7. Shared values

Shared values and goals create a sense of unity in a relationship. When partners have shared beliefs, principles, and aspirations, it strengthens the bond between them. Shared values provide a roadmap for the association, ensuring that both individuals are moving in the same direction and fostering trust in their journey together. 

Trust is the bedrock, shaping emotional landscapes, fostering security, and promoting mutual understanding.

How do you build trust in a relationship?

Building trust in a relationship is a delicate yet essential process that forms the foundation for a healthy and enduring connection. It involves intentional actions, open communication, and a shared commitment to understanding and supporting each other. This exploration will delve into key strategies that build and strengthen relationship trust.

Open communication: Foster trust through transparent and honest communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly, creating an understanding environment.

1. Consistency is key

Build trust by being reliable and consistent in your actions. Keep promises and demonstrate reliability to reinforce a sense of dependability.

2. Active listening

Truly listen to your partner without judgment. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences, creating a space for trust to flourish. RELATED READING How to Be an Active Listener in Your Marriage? 13 Ways Read Now

3. Respect boundaries

Respect personal boundaries and encourage your partner to express their needs. Establishing and honoring boundaries reinforces a sense of safety and trust.

4. Apologize and forgive

Address mistakes promptly, offering sincere apologies. Equally, practice forgiveness to avoid harboring resentment, nurturing an atmosphere of trust and understanding.

5. Shared values

Cultivate trust by aligning your values and goals. Shared values create a strong foundation, enhancing a sense of unity and mutual trust.

6. Vulnerability matters

Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. Sharing fears and insecurities builds intimacy, strengthening the bond and fostering trust.

7. Empathy in action

How to develop trust also involves demonstrating empathy. Understand your partner’s perspective, show compassion, and actively support them through challenges.

8. Conflict resolution skills

Learn effective conflict resolution . Address disagreements calmly, focusing on solutions rather than blame, and reinforcing trust through collaborative problem-solving.

9. Quality time

Invest time in nurturing your relationship. Quality time builds connection and intimacy, which is essential for cultivating deep and lasting trust.

Related Reading : https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/lack-of-trust-in-a-relationship/

Commonly asked questions

Dive into the intricacies of trust with these questions and explore critical trust components that build robust connections, from effective communication to reliability. Gain quick insights and solutions for cultivating trust competency and fostering enduring relationships.

How can I rebuild trust after it has been broken?

Rebuilding trust demands patience and consistent effort. Examples of trust in a relationship involve open communication, sincere apologies, and demonstrable change in behavior. Establish clear boundaries, foster transparency, and seek professional guidance if needed. 

When trust is broken in relationships, it can get difficult to get back on track. Watch this video on how to rebuild lost trust in a relationship.

How can I tell if my partner is trustworthy?

Assess your partner’s trustworthiness by observing their consistency in actions and words. Evaluate their transparency, honesty, and reliability. 

Look for a history of keeping promises and respecting boundaries. Open communication is critical; discuss concerns and gauge their willingness to address issues openly. Trust is built on consistent, respectful behavior over time.

What are some signs that trust is being broken in a relationship?

Signs of trust erosion include secretive behavior, frequent dishonesty, unexplained absences, and a decline in communication. Broken promises, sudden changes in attitude, and a lack of emotional intimacy can signal trust issues. If gut feelings persist, open dialogue is crucial to address concerns and work towards rebuilding trust in the relationship.

How can I communicate my needs to my partner to build trust?

To build trust, communicate openly with your partner about your needs. Be transparent and honest, expressing emotions and expectations . Use “I” statements to avoid blame, actively listen to their responses, and work together to find solutions. Consistent, respectful communication fosters understanding and strengthens the foundation of trust in the relationship.

What are some resources for couples who are struggling to build trust?

Seek guidance from couples therapy, relationship books, or online resources like websites and forums focused on rebuilding trust. Professional counselors provide valuable insights, while self-help books such as “ The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work ” by John Gottman offer practical advice. Open communication, empathy, and mutual commitment are critical foundations for trust.

Key takeaways 

Trust is the cornerstone of solid relationships. Embrace open communication, active listening, and empathy. Trust in relationships is paramount, serving as the lifeblood that shapes emotional landscapes, fostering security, and enabling vulnerability.

For strained trust, seek professional help through couples counseling or relationship courses. With commitment and effort, rebuilding trust is possible, fostering a resilient foundation for a healthier and more connected partnership. Rebuilding trust after it’s been broken demands patience, open communication, sincere apologies, and demonstrable behavior change. 

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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The essential importance of trust: how to build it or restore it.

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“To earn trust, money and power aren’t enough; you have to show some concern for others. You can’t buy trust in the supermarket." – His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama Photographer: Adam Berry/Bloomberg News

There are just a few elemental forces that hold our world together. The one that’s the glue of society is called trust. Its presence cements relationships by allowing people to live and work together, feel safe and belong to a group. Trust in a leader allows organizations and communities to flourish, while the absence of trust can cause fragmentation, conflict and even war. That’s why we need to trust our leaders, our family members, our friends and our co-workers, albeit in different ways.

Trust is hard to define, but we do know when it’s lost. When that happens, we withdraw our energy and level of engagement. We go on an internal strike, not wanting to be sympathetic to the person who we feel has hurt us or treated us wrongly. We may not show it outwardly, but we are less likely to tell the formerly trusted person that we are upset, to share what is important to us or to follow through on commitments. As a result, we pull back from that person and no longer feel part of their world. This loss of trust can be obvious or somewhat hidden — especially if we pretend to be present but inwardly disengage. And those who have done something to lose our trust may not even know it.

On the positive side, trust makes people feel eager to be part of a relationship or group, with a shared purpose and a willingness to depend on each other. When trust is intact, we will willingly contribute what is needed, not just by offering our presence, but also by sharing our dedication, talent, energy and honest thoughts on how the relationship or group is working.

One dictionary definition of trust is “feeling safe when vulnerable.” When we depend on a leader, family member or friend, we can feel vulnerable, and we need trust to manage the anxiety of this feeling. When trust is present, things go well; but when trust is lost, the relationship is at risk.

If the level of trust is low in a relationship or organization, people limit their involvement and what they are willing to do or share. They might think to themselves, “This is all you deserve,” or, “This is as all I am willing to give.” In contrast, when the trust level is high, people reward it by giving more. But, more often than not, people feel that their distrust is not safe to share. So a leader or loved one may be slow to discover that they have lost a person’s trust.

The hiddenness and personal nature of trust can be a problem for relationships, teams or organizations. How can you fix something that is not expressed or shared? How do you even know that trust is lost? Paradoxically, there must be at least a little trust in order to discuss its lack and make attempts to rebuild it, while if the loss of trust remains unaddressed, the relationship will grow more and more distant.

Trust is often related to leadership and power, but it is not a given. To be effective, a leader must earn the trust of his or her constituents to ensure their participation and allegiance. Indeed, any successful relationship — whether it’s leader to follower, consultant or coach to client or the relationship between spouses, siblings and friends — relies on a level of trust that must be earned. Yet even trust that is earned can be quickly lost and cannot be quickly regained. If members of a team or relationship lose trust in each other, it takes a great deal of work to restore it. People are not quick to reinvest in a relationship where trust has been broken. They generally move on.

Six Building Blocks of Trust

Since trust is so important in both working and personal relationships, how can we monitor it, build upon it and heal it when it becomes frayed? It is useful to view trust as a natural response to certain qualities in a person, group or organization, and the absence of these qualities will diminish the level of trust. These qualities are:

• Reliability and Dependability: A person or group that is true to their word and fulfills their commitments encourages trust.
• Transparency: People are anxious about unknowns and tend to assume the worst when they’re not informed about a new development. When management meets in secret or does not share important information, team members can easily become distrustful. On the other hand, when people share their thoughts, feelings and considerations, or when an organization, usually through its leader, tells its members what is going on, everyone knows where they stand and trust can flourish.
• Competency: This is another element that is central to building trust. If you think a person, leader or organization is not capable of doing what they are supposed to do, you cannot trust them. Therefore, even when a person has a good heart or good intentions and we like them personally, they cannot win our trust if they’re not capable of doing what they promise.
• Sincerity, Authenticity and Congruency: People can often sense when someone says something that is not aligned with what they are feeling inside. When a leader is insincere or inauthentic, people don’t believe what he or she is saying. A leader who says one thing but who acts differently is not congruent. For example, it is hard to believe someone who says they want to listen but does not give you a chance to speak, or someone who says she is concerned about people yet seems to have a plan to lay people off. People may think they can hide their true feelings or contradictions, but others can quickly detect a lack of sincerity or congruency. That’s when trust is eroded.
• Fairness: Some people act as if the needs and desires of others are not important, or they don’t truly listen to or respect both sides. Trust cannot grow in a relationship where it’s all about one person or in a workplace where all the energy is focused on the company or leader.
• Openness and Vulnerability : If a person never says they are wrong and apologizes or acknowledges their mistakes, other people do not feel comfortable disagreeing with them or sharing their own thoughts. A leader who is “never wrong” never gets the truth from others. Yet a timely apology or admission of being wrong is a powerful weapon to build or rebuild trust.

All of these qualities contribute to the degree of trust people have for each other. If you are feeling a shift of trust in a relationship, it is helpful to assess the presence or absence of each of these six qualities. This allows you to discover what is lacking in the relationship and find ways to restore trust. To build or rebuild trust, a leader must open the conversation about the degree to which each of the six qualities are present and be open to hearing what others feel, observe and need. Of course, the leader will need some trust in the others in order to begin this process.

Similarly, it takes courage in a family or personal relationship to bring up loss of trust and to request that another person modify their behavior. This may lead to learning that you need to look at your own behavior too. Trust is a two-way street, built by the behavior of each person in the relationship.

Restoring Trust That’s Been Lost or Broken

Trust is often lost when we feel hurt by another’s action and believe that this action (or inaction) was intentional. But by sharing our feelings with the person who hurt us, we might begin to see things differently and realize that their intention was not what we imagined. This may repair the breach quickly as misunderstandings are unraveled and communication deepens. It may be difficult to initiate such a conversation; however, given the tendency to withdraw when we feel hurt. Still, a person who is able to do this will find that they are less frequently hurt.

In the same way, if we feel that we have done something to lose the trust of another, we can seek the other out and inquire about what has happened. True, this can feel awkward and risky — especially if one is a leader, parent or person of authority — and this is not something that comes naturally. But this willingness to be vulnerable can ultimately lead to greater trust because the other person feels that their own vulnerability and needs are being respected.

The dynamics of trust are delicate in important relationships, and the loss of trust can be costly — not only psychologically, but also financially and in terms or work and livelihood. What’s helpful to remember is that trust is an ongoing exchange between people and is not static. Trust can be earned. It can be lost. And it can be regained.

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How to Rebuild Trust in 7 Steps

Trust can be swiftly broken. learn how to mend it..

Posted September 2, 2021 | Reviewed by Chloe Williams

• People's attitudes about trust originate in their families of origin and are impacted by their adult relationships.
• Children yearn to trust their parents, and their need can be projected on romantic partners.
• Components involved in rebuilding trust include listening to the person's feelings, empathizing and showing responsibility for one's actions.

Satisfying relationships are built on a foundation of safety and trust that you won’t be hurt physically or emotionally. Whether you trust too little or too much is influenced by your past, but once trust is broken, your sense of safety is in jeopardy. You feel insecure and may begin to question your partner’s honesty, motives, intentions, feelings, and actions.

Secrets and lies affect the entire relationship. Walls start to grow when you try to protect yourself. Take these steps to repair the relationship.

The Influence of Your Past

If you’ve been betrayed in a prior relationship or trust was a problem in your family growing up, then you’re apt to be on the lookout for signs of distrust . If you’re in denial or have unresolved anger or hurt from the past, you run the risk of either provoking problems in a new relationship where none exists; or on the other hand, unconsciously attracting untrustworthy partners. See my post " Do You Trust Too Much or Too Little " about how to evaluate trustworthiness.

If you've suffered trauma or abuse, you may be prone to distrust people or the reverse and trust too easily. Some people do both. The reason may lie in growing up in a dysfunctional family.

If there were addictions or family secrets, the family’s denial about it is a lie, so children learn to distrust their parents and their own perceptions of reality. Usually, parents are well-intentioned and try to minimize or deny the truth about what’s going on to protect their children. It’s confusing to children, who see through their parents’ statements.

Other times, parents make excuses and lie to look good or defend their position and hide their own guilt or shame . Parents also blame children to avoid their own responsibility and break or deny promises, further undermining trust. When parents don’t follow through with commitments, show up where they’re supposed to on time, or have inconsistent, arbitrary, or unfair punishments, they also break their children’s trust. The same goes for neglect, adultery, criminality, and physical or emotional abuse or abandonment.

Too Trusting

The following factors work together and can cause you to trust too easily:

• Wanting to trust
• Idealizing authority figures or partners in romantic relationships
• Dependency – needing the relationship

Distrust or Denial of Your Own Reality

Although untrustworthy parents can cause you to be distrustful, the unfulfilled childhood desire to trust is still present. This unconscious longing to trust leads you to project trustworthiness onto certain people, particularly in close relationships reminiscent of familial love. This wish coupled with dependency needs, including the need to be taken care of, cause you to deny, overlook, or rationalize data that would otherwise signal a lack of trustworthiness. When parents deny or contradict your reality, you also learn to discount your perceptions, feelings, and intuition . The combination of these forces influences you to trust people, especially those you love, whom others don’t.

Rebuilding Trust

Once trust has been broken, an apology may not be sufficient to rectify damage to the relationship. Explanations and excuses can make matters worse. Seven components are important to rebuild trust:

• Listen to the other person’s anger and hurt feelings.
• Empathize with them.
• Ask what is needed to prevent a recurrence.
• Be conscientious to do all the things listed that show trustworthiness.
• Take full responsibility for your actions. Don’t sidestep the issue or try to shift blame to the other person.
• Make a heartfelt apology expressing your regret.
• Continue to have open and honest communication.

Open and honest communication about what happened is essential. Ask the hurt partner what he or she needs from you and any suggestions about what’s needed to avoid repetition of the behavior. These questions show respect for the person’s feelings and needs and will be appreciated. They go much further than a simple apology. If it’s a serious betrayal, you can expand the conversation to include the relationship as a whole and discuss how you both can help the relationship.

If you’re unable to rebuild trust by talking to each other, if the problem reoccurs, or if the violation of trust involves infidelity , you may need the assistance of a professional therapist to help you communicate as a couple and also to uncover the causes that led to the problem. Usually, infidelity can be a sign of relationship problems as well as an individual issue.

When addiction is involved, the help of a 12-step program can be very beneficial. Seeking support outside the relationship isn’t a sign of weakness. It shows commitment to the relationship and reassures the injured person that his or her partner is taking the problem seriously and willing to make an effort to change.

The last step is very important because once trust has been broken, although it may seem as if all is forgiven and back to normal, doubts and hurt often continue to linger in the aggrieved person’s mind and heart. It may take months or even years for a serious wound to heal. Note that rebuilding trust may not be possible when the dishonesty is part of a larger pattern of abuse and possible personality disorder , such as gaslighting and narcissism , that is resistant to change.

©Darlene Lancer 2012

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an expert and author on relationships and codependency.

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By Roy J. Lewicki Edward C. Tomlinson

December 2003  

Trust- Overview

The phenomenon of trust has been extensively explored by a variety of disciplines across the social sciences, including economics, social psychology, and political science. The breadth of this literature offers rich insight, and this is noted in the common elements that appear in the definition of trust.

For example, Rousseau and her colleagues offer the following definition: "Trust is a psychological state comprising the intention to accept vulnerability based upon positive expectations of the intentions or behavior of another."[1] Similarly, Lewicki and his colleagues describe trust as "an individual's belief in, and willingness to act on the basis of, the words, actions, and decisions of another."[2]

The need for trust arises from our interdependence with others. We often depend on other people to help us obtain, or at least not to frustrate, the outcomes we value (and they on us). As our interests with others are intertwined, we also must recognize that there is an element of risk involved insofar as we often encounter situations in which we cannot compel the cooperation we seek. Therefore, trust can be very valuable in social interactions.

Trust has been identified as a key element of successful conflict resolution (including negotiation and mediation ). This is not surprising insofar as trust is associated with enhanced cooperation , information sharing, and problem solving.

Origins and Development of Trust

Armed with a definition of trust and a description of the benefits it brings, we now turn to examine its origins and development. Theory on the origins of interpersonal trust has proceeded broadly along three fronts: (1) explaining differences in the individual propensity to trust, (2) understanding dimensions of trustworthy behavior, and (3) suggesting levels of trust development.

Individual propensity to trust

Personality theorists have developed one of the oldest theoretical perspectives on trust, and argued that some people are more likely to trust than others. Viewed as a fairly stable trait over time, trust is regarded as a generalized expectancy that other people can be relied on. This expectancy is a function of the degree to which trust has been honored in that individual's history of prior social interactions, and may have its most pronounced effect in novel or ambiguous situations. While this expectancy shapes perceptions of the character of people in general, more recent work has identified the characteristics of trustees that allow for the formation of trust and its growth to higher levels.

Dimensions of trustworthy behavior

Our trust in another individual can be grounded in our evaluation of his/her ability, integrity, and benevolence. That is, the more we observe these characteristics in another person, our level of trust in that person is likely to grow.

Ability refers to an assessment of the other's knowledge, skill, or competency. This dimension recognizes that trust requires some sense that the other is able to perform in a manner that meets our expectations.

Integrity is the degree to which the trustee adheres to principles that are acceptable to the trustor. This dimension leads to trust based on consistency of past actions, credibility of communication, commitment to standards of fairness, and the congruence of the other's word and deed.

Benevolence is our assessment that the trusted individual is concerned enough about our welfare to either advance our interests, or at least not impede them. The other's perceived intentions or motives of the trustee are most central. Honest and open communication, delegating decisions, and sharing control indicate evidence of one's benevolence.

Although these three dimensions are likely to be linked to each other, they each contribute separately to influence the level of trust in another within a relationship. However, ability and integrity are likely to be most influential early in a relationship, as information on one's benevolence needs more time to emerge. The effect of benevolence will increase as the relationship between the parties grows closer. The next section describes trust development in relationships in more detail.

Levels of trust development

Early theories of trust described it as a unidimensional phenomenon that simply increased or decreased in magnitude and strength within a relationship. However, more recent approaches to trust suggests that trust builds along a continuum of hierarchical and sequential stages, such that as trust grows to 'higher' levels, it becomes stronger and more resilient and changes in character. This is the primary perspective we adopt in the remainder of these essays.

At early stages of a relationship, trust is at a calculus-based level. In other words, an individual will carefully calculate how the other party is likely to behave in a given situation depending on the rewards for being trustworthy and the deterrents against untrustworthy behavior. In this manner, rewards and punishments form the basis of control that a trustor has in ensuring the trustee's behavioral consistency. Individuals deciding to trust the other mentally contemplate the benefits of staying in the relationship with the trustee versus the benefits of 'cheating' on the relationship, and the costs of staying in the relationship versus the costs of breaking the relationship. Trust will only be extended to the other to the extent that this cost-benefit calculation indicates that the continued trust will yield a net positive benefit. Over time, calculus-based trust (CBT) can be built as individuals manage their reputation and assure the stability of their behavior by behaving consistently, meeting agreed-to deadlines, and fulfilling promises. CBT is a largely cognitively-driven trust phenomenon, grounded in judgments of the trustees predictability and reliability.

However, as the parties come to a deeper understanding of each other through repeated interactions, they may become aware of shared values and goals. This allows trust to grow to a higher and qualitatively different level. When trust evolves to the highest level, it is said to function as identification-based trust (IBT). At this stage trust has been built to the point that the parties have internalized each other's desires and intentions. They understand what the other party really cares about so completely that each party is able to act as an agent for the other. Trust at this advanced stage is also enhanced by a strong emotional bond between the parties, based on a sense of shared goals and values. So, in contrast to CBT, IBT is a more emotionally-driven phenomenon, grounded in perceptions of interpersonal care and concern, and mutual need satisfaction.

Violated Expectations

Trust violations occur when the trustor's (i.e., the victim's) confident positive expectations of the trustee (i.e., the offender) are disconfirmed. These violations result in lower subsequent trust, and may reduce the extent to which victims of these violations cooperate with the offender. Research within organizations has shown that trust violations stifle mutual support and information sharing, and even exert negative effects on organizational citizenship behaviors, job performance, turnover, and profits.

The experience of a trust violation is likely to result in the trustor making (1) a cognitive appraisal of the situation and (2) experiencing a distressed emotional state. The cognitive appraisal refers to the victim's assignment of culpability to the offender and the evaluation of the costs associated with the violation. The emotional reaction is likely to be composed of some mixture of anger , disappointment, and/or frustration at oneself for trusting and at the offender for exploiting that trust.

We proceed to consider how violations damage interpersonal trust.

In some cases, a single trust violation may seriously damage or irreparably destroy trust. In other cases, one trust violation may not be that damaging when considered in isolation. Rather, a pattern of violations may be needed to create serious damage to the relationship. In other words, not all trust violations are created equally. So, to analyze the effect of trust violations on a relationship, we need a way to describe how much harm (cognitive and/or emotional) a given violation has created. We will broadly refer to this extent of harm as the Offense Severity, and note that as it increases, it is likely to be met with more active and extreme responses by the trustor (victim), and signal greater harm to interpersonal trust.

For example, minor offenses may be met with simply a reduced level of trust. That is, one may have simply lower trust in another in a given context. The victim will be motivated to avoid transactions with the trustee (offender) in the future, and to withhold further support and cooperation. In situations where the relationship cannot be terminated (e.g., the parties have to continue to interact or work together), the relationship continues as a hollow "shell," a facade of superficial cooperation and/or specific transactions that are tightly controlled. These are relatively passive approaches to low trust management strategies -- i.e., "Okay, you got me. I'm simply not going to trust you any more, even though we have to deal with each other."

As Offense Severity grows, however, the victim is more likely to experience stronger negative cognitive and emotional reactions, including a sense of moral outrage. Serious offenses harm trust severely, often to the point of complete destruction. These serious offenses may also stimulate the rapid growth of distrust . Accordingly, the victim is more likely to engage in more severe reactions to the trust violation, including exacting retribution , escalating the conflict, and/or terminating the relationship .

Offense Severity exists along a continuum from low to high. Offenses can be severe in several ways:

• Magnitude of the offense. The magnitude of the offense is an indication of the seriousness of consequences incurred by the victim. To illustrate, when a dry cleaner loses an old shirt you were planning to replace soon anyway, this may be viewed as a trivial violation of your trust in the dry cleaner. However, it will be much more than a mere nuisance if that dry cleaner damaged a brand new, expensive suit!
• Number of prior violations. When there is a clear pattern of prior trust violations, even if they are each relatively minor when viewed in isolation, the overall pattern may be deemed a serious breach. As the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back," it is the pattern of trust violations that provides evidence that the offender is not worthy of future trust. However, when there are few past violations, any given trust violation may be viewed as the exception rather than the rule.
• Specific dimension of trust that was violated. Violations of integrity and benevolence are likely to be experienced as more severe and damaging than violations that implicate one's ability. Examples may include intentional deception, purposefully reneging on a promise or obligation, and rude, disrespectful treatment.

At this point, we also wish to point out that trust violations that may be very disruptive to Calculus-Based Trust (CBT) relationships may be viewed as trivial nuisances or not violations at all in Identification-Based Trust (IBT) relationships. Because the relationship itself is the basis for IBT, and because such a major emotional investment goes into creating and sustaining it, the parties are relatively more motivated to maintain them. IBT relationships can become rather resilient to trust violations as long as the violations do not challenge the underlying basis of the relationship. However, when the basis of an IBT relationship becomes called into question by a trust violation (e.g., marital infidelity), this has the potential to devastate the entire relationship .

Rebuilding Trust

Despite the assertions of some scholars that broken trust cannot be repaired, we draw on recent research indicating a more optimistic view. However, we caution that rebuilding trust is not as straightforward as building trust in the first place. After trust has been damaged, there are two key considerations for the victim: (1) dealing with the stress the violation imposed on the relationship, and (2) determining if future violations will occur. After a trust violation and the cognitive and affective fallout that ensues, the first critical question is, is the victim willing to reconcile ? If the victim believes that the violator will not make efforts at righting the wrongs and minimizing future violations, the victim has no incentive to attempt reconciliation and restore trust.

Let us first clarify the distinction between reconciliation and forgiveness . Reconciliation occurs when both parties exert effort to rebuild a damaged relationship, and strive to settle the issues that led to the disruption of that relationship. Reconciliation is a behavioral manifestation of forgiveness, defined as a deliberate decision by the victim to surrender feelings of resentment and grant amnesty to the offender. However, it is possible to forgive someone (release him or her from responsibility for damage he/she has inflicted) without exhibiting a willingness to reconcile the relationship or trust him or her again in the future. An example may be when a battered woman forgives her abuser (as a means of coping and psychological healing ), but does not allow the relationship to continue. Thus, following a trust violation, the trust cannot be rebuilt if the victim is not willing to reconcile. On the other hand, if the victim is willing to reconcile, rebuilding trust in the relationship becomes possible (although not guaranteed). We will now describe this repair process as it relates to CBT and IBT.

Rebuilding CBT

In CBT relationships, expectations of the other party are grounded in a cognitive appraisal of the costs and benefits involved in a given transaction, with minimal emphasis on the emotional investment in the relationship (i.e., emotional concerns are not irrelevant, but just not as central as cognitive concerns). Violations in a CBT relationship involve a focus on the exchange itself and the loss of the specific benefits the victim was relying on from the exchange. In short, in order to repair CBT, parties tend to focus on the impact (i.e., the direct consequences) of the trust violation as the primary issue to address in any repair effort.

Accordingly, it is essential for the offender to take the initiative in stimulating reconciliation, and this is most likely when the offender actually desires to rebuild trust and is skilled at perspective taking (the ability to visualize the world as it appears to someone else). It may be that there were incongruent or unclear expectations between the parties that can be quickly clarified. Alternatively, there may be some explanation or justification that places the unexpected behavior in context such that the event is no longer perceived by the victim as a violation. For example, pushing someone to the ground so a car won't hit him or her would reframe an otherwise hostile act as an act of trustworthiness. Finally, apologies and promises signal remorse and assurance for the future, respectively. These are important forms of communication that help to restore balance in the relationship and convince the victim that it will be safe to trust again in the future.

This repair may involve acts of restitution that compensate the victim for the specific consequences of a violation. Restitution also carries important symbolism in that the offender is actually trying to redeem his/her trustworthiness with concrete actions. In CBT relationships, actions may speak louder than words, so it is imperative for the offender to honor trust in subsequent interactions with tangible offerings designed to restore ' fairness ' in the relationship.

Notice that while communication and action are both central elements to reconciliation and trust recovery, the repair process for CBT is dominantly a material, transactional effort. To illustrate, simply giving someone a hug after this type of violation is not likely to help, and may in fact make things worse. Tangible reparation has to occur.

Rebuilding IBT

In contrast, in IBT relationships, trust of the other party is grounded in the shared interests and values of the parties and their collective emotional investment in the relationship. Thus, violations may lead the victim to conclude that the parties are not as 'together' as they once may have appeared. Compared to the exchange of tangible resources in a CBT relationship, IBT relationships are more heavily grounded in intangible resources such as perceptions of mutual attraction, support and caring for each other . Therefore, in contrast to the focus on impact in CBT violations, violations of IBT lead the victim to question the intent (i.e., motives and desires) of the other party that prompted the perceived betrayal. As mentioned earlier, IBT relationships are often resilient to transactional discrepancies that would be sufficient to seriously damage a CBT relationship, as long as the identification with the other party is not called into question. Since an IBT violation threatens the very basis of identification with the other, the victim's reaction to the violation involves the feeling that he/she may no longer really 'know' the offender after all. Feelings of abandonment, estrangement, and alienation may not be uncommon.

For the offender to re-establish perceptions of his/her benevolent intent, the offender should quickly and voluntarily offer a thorough and sincere apology which conveys remorse for harm inflicted, an explanation of the details surrounding the betrayal, and a promise of future cooperation. Further, it is critical for the parties to substantively reaffirm their commitment to each other and to the ideals and values upon which the relationship is built. The offender should explicitly recommit to the relationship, and discuss strategies to avoid similar problems in the future.

As before, both communication and action are essential to the trust rebuilding process, but IBT repair involves an emotional, relational focus. For example, simply paying some form of material compensation may not be sufficient to re-assert shared values and rebuild the common sense of identity that was the foundation of the trust.

Practical Implications for Building Trust

What individuals can do.

It should be noted that trust building is a bilateral process that requires mutual commitment and effort, especially when attempting to de-escalate conflict . Nonetheless, there are several ways individuals can act on their own to initiate or encourage the trust building process. This is accomplished by either taking steps to minimize the risk that the other party will act in untrustworthy ways (also see the essay on distrust ), or by policing one's own actions to ensure they are perceived as evidence of trustworthiness.

At the CBT level, individuals can take several steps to strengthen another's trust in them, particularly when these steps are performed repeatedly and within several different contexts of the relationship.

• Perform competently. One should perform one's duties and obligations competently. Individuals should continuously strive to demonstrate proficiency in carrying out their obligations. In some cases, this may entail updating skills and abilities as technology advances. As others contemplate how much to trust you, they will assess your qualifications and ability to perform.
• Establish consistency and predictability. We can enhance the degree to which others will regard us as trustworthy when we behave in consistent and predictable ways. Every effort should be made to ensure that our words are congruent with our subsequent actions and that we honor pledged commitments. Our integrity is reinforced to the extent that we Do What We Say We Will Do (DWWSWWD).
• Communicate accurately, openly and transparently. In addition, one should act openly--that is, be clear about the intentions and motives for one's actions. This helps the other party calculate our trustworthiness accurately, because we are willing to act transparently and to be monitored for compliance.
• Share and delegate control. Trust often needs to be given for it to be returned. There is symbolic value in soliciting input and sharing decision control with others . Likewise, when such control is hoarded and others feel that they are not trusted (such as with monitoring and surveillance systems), they may be more likely to act out against this with behaviors that reinforce a distrustful image.
• Show concern for others. The trust others have in you will grow when you show sensitivity to their needs , desires, and interests. Acting in a way that respects and protects other people, and refraining from engaging in self-interested pursuits to the detriment of others will also contribute greatly to the trust others place in you. When you violate someone's trust, they deem that you are acting in your own self-interest. Accordingly, their attention will be diverted to their own self-interest and self-protection rather than on conflict resolution.

At the IBT level, prescriptions for trust building entail a number of additional steps.

• Establish a common name and identity. Nurturing a common identity creates a sense of unity that can further strengthen trust. Engage in talk and actions that build a sense of 'we' rather than 'me'. A common name and shared identity reduces divisiveness and encourages individuals to work together.
• Capitalize on co-location. As conflicting parties co-locate, their more frequent interaction can help them get to know one another better, strengthen their perceived common identity, and reduce distrust by exposing false stereotypes and prejudices . When used in conjunction with the recommendation above, co-location may demonstrate to the parties that they have more commonalities than differences.
• Create joint products and goals. Working toward the collective achievement of superordinate goals fosters a feeling of "one-ness" that can bring the parties together in a way that strengthens a salient, shared identity. Parties create and build products, services and activities that define their commonality and uniqueness.
• Promote shared values and emotional attraction. Individuals should model a concern for other people by getting to know them, engaging in active listening , showing a focus on their interests, recognizing the contributions of others, and demonstrating confidence in other's abilities.

What the Media Can Do

The media can play an important role in the trust building process by using news reporting as a way to increase the value of established, functional trust while simultaneously encouraging the parties not to violate that trust. Journalism aimed at wide audiences encourages parties to place more value on their reputations, as good reputations carry additional benefits, while bad reputations carry heightened costs. The media can also create and report stories, which build trust by featuring common identities, values, and concerns across diverse populations. In some cases, the media can also act as a third party that can facilitate greater openness and transparency. The parties can potentially use this forum to provide evidence of the compliance and trustworthiness of conflicting parties. For example, the media frequently uses consumer advocate reporting to investigate disputes between consumers and service providers. Finally, the media can promote accurate information of the parties in order to dispel inaccurate and negative stereotypes that forestall any trust-building efforts.

What the Educational System Can Do

Educators can assist by using classroom experiences such as dialog groups, problem-solving workshops , simulations and role-plays to practice trust-building at various stages of relationships. Subsequent debriefing sessions can also highlight how students manage their emotional reactions in the trust building process (i.e., making the conversion from suspicion and fear to benevolence and hope). These experiences have the benefit of allowing students to develop their trust building skills in a safe environment that is somewhat detached from more emotionally-charged and less controlled environments where trust may be hard to establish and easy to break.

Practical Implications for Rebuilding Trust

As we have noted earlier, effective trust repair is often necessary to resolve conflicts. Although this process is difficult, there are steps the offender can take to enhance the likelihood of stimulating the victim's willingness to reconcile, and further the trust rebuilding process. However, we stress that rebuilding trust is a process, not an event. As such, it is likely to consume a lot of time and resources. Containing conflict in the short term may be confined to managing distrust . Nonetheless, we offer several recommendations for rebuilding trust in both CBT and IBT relationships.

For rebuilding CBT, the following steps are suggested:

• Take immediate action after the violation. Offenders should act quickly to engage in restorative efforts . This communicates sensitivity to the victim and the relationship, and avoids the double-burden the victim has to incur by both suffering the consequences of the violation and having to confront the offender with the consequences of his behavior.
• Provide an apology , and give a thorough account of what happened. Take responsibility for your actions if you are culpable, and express remorse for the harm that the victim endured because of the violation. Your remorse indicates to the victim that you have also suffered as a result of your actions, and the victim may be less likely to pursue vengeance and escalate the conflict. Also, be sure to carefully explain the circumstances that led to the violation, so the victim can understand the events that led you to your decisions. This will help them see the rationale behind your actions and give them a better sense of the values and parameters that are likely to shape your actions in the future.
• Be sincere. The victim is closely scrutinizing your motives and intentions, so it is imperative to sincerely strive to repair the harm from the violation. Take action unilaterally and volitionally, and make every effort to show through your words and actions that you genuinely desire to earn the victim's trust again.
• Be cognizant of the day-to-day history of the relationship. If the overall history of the relationship is good, and there are few if any past trust violations, the prospects for trust repair are more promising than in relationships characterized by many trust violations or few trust-confirming events. Make it a priority to honor trust on a daily basis in order to provide a conducive environment for trust repair should the need arise.
• Provide restitution/penance . Substantiate your verbal claims with concrete actions that demonstrate a good-faith effort to compensate the victim for the harmful effects of the violation. In CBT relationships, what the victim wants more than your kind words is some tangible aspect of the transaction that he/she was counting on.
• Restate and renegotiate expectations for the future, and be trustworthy in future interactions. You are likely to be on "probation" for a period, as the victim tests the waters to see if you actually resume trustworthy behavior. Be sure to take this into account, and take proactive steps to manage the expectations of the victim by specifically articulating what standards should be expected. Then commit to following these standards in the future.

In IBT relationships, the following steps should also be followed:

• Reaffirm commitment to the relationship. Reassert shared goals and interests, as well as the value placed on the relational bond between the parties. Re-establish the affective connection in the relationship by expressing your emotional attachment to the other party, and strive to demonstrate that the relationship is a top priority. You can re-gain credibility as you make clear sacrifices that establish the primacy of the relationship over your own self-interest.

A number of other helpful suggestions may be found in the essay on distrust .

Finally, we also wish to highlight possible obstacles to the trust rebuilding process. One of the most common is that some people are not clearly 'attuned' to other people's reactions, and hence do not understand when their behavior has violated someone else's trust. Thus, some individuals may have limited perspective-taking skills that make them less able to understand the consequences of trust violations they enact. Moreover, these same people may not know how to take the appropriate corrective action in order to begin to rebuild the other's trust. There is also an important psychological role for taking responsibility for one's actions, communicating remorse, and going to special lengths to compensate victims for harm inflicted by the offender. These types of restorative actions may threaten one's ego or self-esteem, and the expected benefits derived from such actions may not be deemed to be worth the expected costs for some individuals.

Another aspect to consider is the legal implications of our guidance. While apologies convey remorse and responsibility that aids in the trust rebuilding process, they also admit culpability that can be legally problematic. If trust rebuilding is the priority, the offender will have critical decisions to make regarding whether and how to apologize. Once again, there may be instances where the costs associated with trust rebuilding are unfortunately outweighed (for better or worse) by other considerations, such as minimizing legal liability.

While the media cannot directly rebuild trust between the parties, they can facilitate dialog and provide documentation of trust-rebuilding efforts. Reparative efforts by offenders may carry additional weight when conducted voluntarily and in a public forum. Knowing the risks to one's reputation by publicizing a complete account may provide additional credence and demonstrate sincerity. Media outlets may best provide this type of public forum.

As with trust-building initiatives, the educational system can help parties rebuild trust by promoting workshops and dialog groups that bring the parties together. Safe and structured programs can allow the victims to articulate their interests and expectations, and how these interests and expectations were violated, as well as provide the offender with an environment that can facilitate their efforts at reconciliation and trust repair.

[1] Rousseau, D. M., Sitkin, S. B., Burt, R. S., and Camerer, C. (1998). "Not so Different After All: A Cross-Discipline View of Trust," in Academy of Management Review, 23, 393-404.

[2] Lewicki, R. J., McAllister, D. J., & Bies, R. J. (1998). Trust and distrust: New relationships and realities. Academy of Management Review, 23, 438-458.

Use the following to cite this article: Lewicki, Roy J. and Edward C. Tomlinson. "Trust and Trust Building." Beyond Intractability . Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: December 2003 < http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/trust-building >.

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The Importance of Trust in Building Strong Workplace Relationships

Table of contents, providing the meaning and importance of trust at the workplace, why leaders should turn to building trust, the challenge of building trust: ways to re-build it, benefits of a trusting workplace: how to create such work-culture, personal reflection and conclusion.

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Essay on Trust | Importance & Benefits of having Trust in Life

Sincerity is about being honest with yourself and others, keeping your word and doing the right thing even when no one is watching. People who are not sincere tend to be dishonest and insincere about their feelings and intentions.

Essay on Trust | Meaning, Purpose & Importance of having Trust in Life

Trust is placing confidence or reliance on someone or something; dependability. Sincerity means genuineness; honesty. So trust and sincerity are two factors that matter in relationships. Trust has to be earned, it isn’t given freely to anyone who requests it. It takes time to earn trust but can be lost in seconds.

Sincerity tends to go hand in hand with trustworthiness. If you want people to trust you, you have to prove that you can be trusted, and if you can’t be trusted, why should people trust you? This is the main difference between trust and sincerity. Trustworthiness implies being reliable and having the competence to do something well. People trust those they can rely on, those who are competent enough and reliable.

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Importance of Trust in Life

Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship. Without trust, there can be no friendship or love. Trust forms the basis for sympathy and happiness. Trust is the glue that binds people together and space between them.

Trusting someone implies believing in his or her capabilities, so if you trust someone you are giving them the responsibility to do something, and they represent you in that task. If you fail to carry out this responsibility, you will lose the other’s trust. This is why trust is important not only in personal life but also at work, where it is essential to get things done. If you don’t trust someone, there is no point in giving him or her an important assignment.

When you tell a lie to someone, you betray his or her trust. It feels terrible to be betrayed like that. Consequently, people are really careful whom they give their trust to and whom do not. If you lose someone’s trust, it is difficult to regain it again and the relationship may never be the same as it used to be. It is important to realize that if you do not have the trust of others, your life may become very difficult in many ways.

Benefits of Trust in Life

When you trust someone, it means that you believe in his or her abilities and qualities. In fact, you are giving this person the responsibility of representing you in some task that is important to you. If this person fails to carry out this responsibility, he or she will lose your trust and it will be difficult for him or her to regain it. The main benefits of trust are:

• Trust is the basis for all relationships because no relationship can be functional if there is no trust between the involved parties.
• Trust is essential for getting things done efficiently in any field of endeavor.
• When you trust someone, it shows that you believe in his or her capabilities to do something for you.
• You can rely on a trusted person because he or she will never let you down in any situation.
• Trust in a relationship makes it easier for the involved parties to deal with any issues that they may face.

Developing Trust in Life

The only way to develop trust in a relationship is by being trustworthy. If you want people to trust you, you have to prove that you can be trusted, and if you cannot be trusted, why should people trust you? This means that trust is earned. So the first step is to become trustworthy, which means being honest with yourself and others, keeping your word and doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

People who are not sincere tend to be dishonest and insincere about their feelings and intentions. If you want people to trust you, it is a good idea to be sincere about your feelings and intentions towards them. Sincerity tends to go hand in hand with trustworthiness, which means that when you are sincere with someone, he or she is likely to trust you.

>>>>>>>> Related Post :  Essay on Importance of Religion in Life

Trust is very important in life because it helps you to get things done efficiently and enjoy healthy relationships.  The only way to gain people’s trust is by being trustworthy. Being trustworthy means having the integrity and honesty to do the right thing even if it means going against your own desires.

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Million Dollar Sense

10 Worrying Signs That There's No Trust In Your Relationship

Posted: May 14, 2024 | Last updated: May 14, 2024

#1 Constant Doubts and Suspicion

Constant unease about your partner’s activities can poison a relationship. You might constantly check their phone for suspicious texts, question their whereabouts, or doubt their fidelity even without evidence. This persistent suspicion creates a toxic atmosphere where trust slowly crumbles. Relaxing and enjoying your partner’s company becomes difficult, replaced by a nagging voice of doubt.

#2 Lack of Openness and Transparency

Healthy relationships thrive on open communication, where partners feel comfortable sharing their feelings, plans, and even daily experiences. If you or your partner hesitate to share these things, it can breed secrecy and mistrust. Imagine you ask your partner about their day at work, but they become withdrawn, offering vague responses or changing the subject altogether. This lack of transparency can make you wonder what they’re hiding and create a wedge between you.

#3 Excessive Checking and Monitoring

Constantly checking your partner’s phone for suspicious texts, their social media for incriminating photos, or their GPS location for unexplained detours can all be signs of deep-seated distrust. This intrusive behavior can damage the relationship and push your partner away. Imagine the feeling of knowing your partner doesn’t trust you enough to give you basic privacy. It can be incredibly suffocating and ultimately destroy any sense of security in the relationship.

#4 Difficulty Forgiving Past Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes can cause serious hurt. But if you cling to those past hurts and use them as a justification for distrust, it can hinder your ability to move forward and build trust. For example, your partner made a mistake a year ago, apologized sincerely, and made a genuine effort to change, yet you constantly bring it up in arguments or use it to question their trustworthiness. Letting go of resentment and learning to forgive are crucial for a healthy relationship where both partners feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

#5 Defensiveness and Evasiveness

Does your partner get defensive whenever you ask a simple question about their day or their plans for the weekend? For example, when you ask your partner where they were because you they missed your call, he/she immediately becomes defensive, accusing you of being suspicious or controlling. This reaction can shut down communication and make it nearly impossible to build trust. This evasiveness can be a red flag, especially if there’s nothing to hide. Trusting partners should feel comfortable having open and honest conversations, even about potentially difficult topics.

#6 Withholding Affection

Trust and affection go hand in hand. If you find yourself pulling away physically or emotionally from your partner, it might be a sign of underlying distrust. This lack of intimacy creates distance and can fuel resentment in the relationship. Emotional withdrawal sends a clear message: you’re not comfortable being vulnerable or close to your partner anymore.

#7 Avoiding Important Conversations

Couples who struggle with trust often avoid difficult conversations like discussing finances, future plans, or past relationship problems. Fear of conflict or judgment can prevent them from communicating openly and honestly. Imagine an important issue keeps popping up in your relationship, but whenever you try to bring it up, your partner changes the subject or gets sidetracked. Bottling up emotions can only make things worse. Unresolved issues fester and eventually erupt in bigger blowouts down the line.

#8 Controlling Behavior

Trying to control your partner’s behavior or decisions is a sign of distrust. This might involve dictating who they can see, where they can go, or even what they wear. Constantly checking in on your partner throughout the day, expecting detailed explanations for every errand, or getting upset if they want to hang out with friends you don’t approve of are some examples of controlling behaviors. Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect, not control. This controlling behavior is ultimately a way to try and manipulate your partner’s actions, which can be emotionally draining for both of you.

#9 Jealousy and Insecurity

Unfounded jealousy and constantly comparing your partner to others can be rooted in distrust. This insecurity can create unnecessary tension and chip away at the foundation of your relationship. Imagine feeling a pang of jealousy every time your partner mentions a coworker they find interesting or constantly scrolling through their social media looking for signs of someone else. This obsessive behavior shows a lack of trust in your partner’s loyalty and your own self-worth.

#10 Lack of Support or Belief in Each Other

Trust involves believing in your partner and supporting their dreams. If you constantly doubt their abilities or offer little to no encouragement, it sends a message of distrust. Imagine your partner is excited about starting a new business venture, but you express negativity and focus on all the potential pitfalls. Building each other up is essential for a strong and trusting relationship. When you believe in your partner and celebrate their successes, it strengthens the bond and fosters trust.

Note: This list is solely the author’s opinion and not intended to be professional advice. 

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Trust in Employee-Organisation Relationship Essay

Introduction, trust in employee-organisation relationship, conclusion and recommendations.

Management is all about systematising and coordinating activities of a company to acquire some specific goals and ideas. It is a sub factor of productions in line with other factors like machinery, materialistic and money. Likewise, management involves theories and practical approaches of promotion and novelty. It entails interconnected roles of coming up with communal strategies, developing, setting up, scheming, and channeling the resources of the organisation in order to realise the purpose of that particular strategy.

Those in charge of the top management depending on the size of the organisation define the strategies. To realise the objectives of the organisation, low-level employees have to be involved since, they are a part of the organisation. Their involvement is crucial given that better results in an organisation are not achievable only by the managers and other executives. Therefore, there is a need to develop a good relationship chain between the organisation and the employees.

Management is a challenging approach to any organisation and, consequently, not unless there is keen scrutiny on how to develop good management skills both inside and outside the organisation, then achieving the desired goals and objectives may become impossible to the organisation (Robbins and Coulter, 2005). This may be based on the judgment that the evaluation of the organisations presents and prospectus merit is dependend on the managers’ eminence and expertise.

The way this happens is our major concern here, the concern of trust between the organisation, and the employees. The big challenge that now comes around is how to develop and sustain this trust from what Edward R. Murrow said that ‘to be convincing we have to authentic, and to be authentic we have to be reliable and to be reliable we have to be trustful. Therefore, to achieve the success of the organisation, we have to fight for trustfulness.

In addition, for any organisation to achieve success, it has to maintain a friendly relationship with its employees. This is so because of the changes in political, economical, technological, global, and societal environments. Consequently, a new chapter needs to be opened between the organisation and the employees, a chapter of trust. The simple reasoning is because of the effectiveness that organisations realise because of this tool.

McGregor in his article developed for the US managers, suggested that the Nyhan model of 2000 designed for public organisations was also applicable in private organisations whose application showed positive results when the employees participated in the making of decisions in an organisation. The trust broadens the influence of decision making in employees and consequently better results in production and strength obligation in both private and public organisations.

It is worth noting that trust has developed and changed with time due to interactions and assessments of individual emotions and ideas (Stein and Taft, 1971). Various authors have come up with different approaches on trust; from Nootboom, trust involves trustees in more than a single perspective, more importantly behavior builds a cornerstone in trust. Others like Robbins and Clutter (2005) have framed trust on reliability, personality, and the aptitude of a leader. From other theorists like Connell and Ferres (2003), trust is merely progressive and is not accompanied by any pay so that it develops.

From the economic and physiological perspective, Gordon and Scott (2006) have theorised that economists takes trust as something calculated or rationalised option from risking and benefiting from it. The bottom line here is that benefits may come from an act of trust. On the psychological corner, trust is perceived as qualities of trustees and is based on the interpersonal relationship between individuals. Trust has to undergo metamorphosis of believing, making decision and finally actions (Pašić, 1982).

In these cases, if junior employees build trust in their superiors, then their improved production also accompany quality communication and solving of problems with a sense of belonging to the organisation. Close employee supervisors who are in touch with them have an influence in determining their feelings or outlook to any work. Hence, to this effect, those organisations, which are highly trusted, make sure that the employees are respected, which is demonstrated by supporting the employees’ growth in their profession and their involvement in avenues of making decisions (Schermerhorn and Naumes, 2002).

This guarantees the employees their fair treatment irrespective of their ranks in the organisation. Difficult problems are easily solved if there is collaboration between various sectors in the organisation; hence, the future of the employees in the highly trusted organisation is not doubted since they have self-assurance with the visions of their leaders about the future.

On various occasions, different authors have placed varying arguments on the issue of trust between management and employees. The question remains on whether building and sustaining trust between the organisation and employees proves success in the business endeavors of such organisations (Odaka, 2001). There are developments and underdevelopments in the context of trust between the organisation and the employees.

For the case of development, pre-assumptions are made related to layout of the organisation; in this case, those who are parties in this culture of relationship and the reciprocals in the exchange of resources. In the underdevelopment, those involved may put predictions of what is to be achieved after the whole business of building trust.

Researchers on employee organisation relationship have haggard on societal switch over and the models of contribution to incentives to come up theories to comprehend the outlook of exchange between the employer and the employees. In the theoretical approaches, the key factor is on how the two interact to come up with compulsion or obligations on reciprocals (Wachtel, 1973). The bottom line is that in social switch over, there should be correlation, reciprocating and exchange, which have to start with one party and then transferred to the next.

Some jeopardy and gain that may have no return are eminent between the two exchanging parties simply because of trust just because the temperament and timing of these gains are not specific (Vanek, 1972). The model of giving incentives perceives the employment switch over as situations whereby organisations gives incentives to the employees’ input in return.

The writing on employee organisation relationship has however given focus on the character psychotherapy (for example, Morrison and Robinson, 1997; Eisenberger et al, 1986), not putting in mind the environment and organisation background that the affiliation take place. Due the changes in business environment, a number of leaders are forced to re-design their organisation, which in turn has affected the relationships between the two (Griffin, 1990).

The dynamism in the business world has also affected the relationship between the organisation and the employees, because of the turn around in investments. This has resulted in competition weights in the market hence, managers do not dedicate their time in building and developing these relationships.

The relationship between organisations and employees needs to be developed if the organisations want to have a wide focus on bigger productions and fully realise their set goals and objectives (Drucker and Maciariello, 2008). Dynamism in world markets should not cause a gap between the organisation management and the employees but instead should embrace them to build a strong relationship.

Several areas need development and reforms to realise all this. For instance, there is a need to have various methods in addressing the key queries. Questions of who to relate within the organisation should be checked about critically. Likewise, experimental methods on how to come up with better methods of manipulating the inducements due to diverse welfare. This may help in knowing how to design the appropriate employee-organisation relationship (Montana and Charnov, 2000).

On the other hand, the issue of ‘added returns and added significance’ needs to be looked at. This is because most organisations do not put into consideration the input of the employees; hence, they end up retarding in their input and production. Other areas that need consideration is the ‘bang of diversity’; this is because from study many employees have been discriminated, a lack opportunities and privileges in their work areas.

Workers should not be discriminated because of their race, color or disability. On the more general case is the outlook on the connotation of the administration/management. More research needs to done on how to guide executives on do’s and don’ts in their organisation relating to the conduct between them and their employees.

Drucker, PF & Maciariello, JA 2008, Management (Rev. ed.), Collins, New York, NY.

Griffin, RW 1990, Management (3rd ed.),Houghton Mifflin Co, Boston.

Montana, PJ & Charnov, BH 2000, Management (3rd ed.), Barron’s, Hauppauge, N.Y.

Odaka, K 2001, Toward industrial democracy: management and workers in modern Japan , Harvard University Press, Cambridge, Mass.

Pašić, N 1982, Workers’ management in Yugoslavia: recent developments and trends , International Labour Office, Geneva.

Robbins, SP & Coulter, MK 2005, Management (8th ed.), Pearson Prentice Hall, Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Schermerhorn, JR, Naumes, W & Naumes, MJ 2002, Management (5th ed.), J. Wiley & Sons, New York.

Stein, L & Taft, P 1971, The management of workers; selected arguments, Arno, New York.

Vanek, J 1972, The economics of workers’ management: a Yugoslav case study, Allen and Unwin, London.

Wachtel, HM 1973, Workers’ management and workers’ wages in Yugoslavia; the theory and practice of participatory socialism , Cornell University Press, Ithaca [N.Y.

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Rory mcilroy relationship timeline: from caroline wozniacki split to erica stoll divorce.

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Rory McIlroy stunned the golf community in May 2024 when he filed for divorce from wife Erica Stoll after seven years of marriage.

The Northern Irishman filed the docs in Florida, with the filing stating the union as “irretrievably broken.” The pair also have a prenup.

McIlroy’s camp confirmed a divorce had been filed and the PGA Tour star’s camp’s statement “stressed Rory’s desire to ensure this difficult time is as respectful and amicable as possible.”

It’s unclear what exactly led to the demise of their marriage.

Here’s a look back at McIlroy’s relationship history:

2014 – First linked after Caroline Wozniacki breakup

McIlory was first romantically linked to New York native Stoll in 2014 after he and Danish tennis pro Caroline Wozniacki called off their engagement that May.

McIlroy said in a statement at the time: “The problem is mine. The wedding invitations issued at the weekend made me realize that I wasn’t ready for all that marriage entails.”‘

In May 2015, McIlroy said he and Stoll had been dating for more than six months when he discussed their romance with the Times of London.

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“I am very happy in my love life,” he said. “We haven’t really been putting it out there. She is from America, which is why I like to spend time in Palm Beach … The past six or seven months have been really nice. That part of my life is going great.”

McIlroy and Stoll first met when she was working at the Ryder Cup for the PGA as part of the transportation team in 2012 — while he was still dating Wozniacki — and they remained friends since.

McIlroy nearly missed his tee time because he overslept and Stoll drove him to the course with the help of a police escort, he told The Golf Channel.

Follow the latest on golf star Rory McIlroy’s divorce from Erica Stoll:

• Rory McIlroy files for divorce from wife Erica after seven years of marriage
• Rory McIlroy comments on stunning divorce filing from wife Erica Stoll
• Rory McIlroy divorce docs reveal prenup, relationship was ‘irretrievably broken’
• Subtle signs that Rory McIlroy’s marriage to Erica Stoll was ‘amiss’ before divorce filing

2017 – Married in a starry ceremony

McIlroy and Stoll tied the knot in a fairytale ceremony held at Ashford Castle in Ireland in April 2017.

The star-studded affair was attended by singers Stevie Wonder, One Direction’s Niall Horan, Ed Sheeran, actor Jamie Dornan and Coldplay’s Chris Martin, according to E! News . Wonder and Sheeran also performed, per reports.

McIlroy proposed to the then-publicist while the couple was in Paris in December 2015.

Stoll supported McIlroy at the Ryder Cup in 2016 (Minnesota), 2018 (Paris), 2021 (Wisconsin) and 2023 (Rome).

2020 – Welcome baby

McIlroy and Stoll welcomed daughter Poppy in August 2020.

The four-time major winner confirmed the couple was expecting a baby girl during the BMW Championship that summer.

“We’re about to be parents very soon, so we’re obviously super excited. Yeah, we’ve been sharing the news with friends and family, obviously, but I didn’t think it was something that I really particularly needed to share out here,” McIlroy said at the time. “It’s a private matter, but we’re really excited and can’t wait for her to get here.

The couple did not formally announce they were expecting.

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Poppy served as her dad’s caddy at the Masters’ Par 3 Contest in 2023.

McIlroy’s divorce filing in May 2024 also asked for split custody of his and Stoll’s daughter.

2023 – Masters/Ryder Cup appearances

McIlroy and Stoll packed on the PDA at the Masters in 2023, as seen in photos of the couple kissing on the course at Augusta National.

They were all smiles while holding hands through the streets of Rome ahead of the Ryder Cup in September 2023.

At the time, they were arriving at the Spanish Steps to take photos with the other couples.

Stoll was noticeably absent from the Masters in April 2024, as the Irish Independent reported.

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Trump defense cross-examines Michael Cohen in hush money trial

By CNN's Kara Scannell, Lauren Del Valle and Jeremy Herb in the courthouse

Cohen says he never told Costello about Trump's role in payments to McDougal and Daniels: "I didn't trust him"

Michael Cohen says he never told Robert Costello about Trump's involvement in the American Media Inc. payment to former Playboy model Karen McDougal or Cohen's payment to Stormy Daniels.

"I didn't trust him, meaning Bob Costello and I was still remaining loyal to Mr. Trump," Cohen said.

"I believed based upon all of our conversations that he would immediately run back to Mr Giuliani and that communication would be divulged to President Trump," Cohen added.

Cohen says Costello's emails were part of "pressure campaign" to make sure he stayed loyal

Michael Cohen said Robert Costello "had expressed clearly to Mr. Giuliani that he was on the team."

"The concern here was that I was going to go to another lawyer and retain another lawyer to represent me in this matter," Cohen testified.

On June 14, Costello sent Cohen an email with a YouTube link called “Giuliani on possibility of Cohen cooperating Muller probe."

Cohen emailed him back, "Why send this to me?”

Costello responded with a lengthy email. "It seems clear to me that you are under the impression that Trump and Giuliani are trying to discredit you and throw you under the bus to use your phrase. I think you are wrong because you are believing the narrative promoted by the left wing media. They want you to believe what they writing. Many of them are already writing that you are cooperating," the email began.

Cohen said the email was "part of the pressure campaign that everyone is lying to you, that you are still regarded."

"The president still supports you," Cohen added that it meant, "Don’t flip, Don’t speak, Don’t cooperate.”

"If you really believe you are not being supported properly by your former boss, then you should make your position known. If you really want certain things to happen, you should make that known," Costello wrote in the email.

One of Costello's emails referenced "the potential of pre-pardons," Cohen testifies

Michael Cohen says one of Robert Costello's emails used cryptic messaging referencing Costello's "friend" and his "friend's client."

Cohen testifies that this seemed to encourage Cohen to get a message to Trump through Rudy Giuliani.

By his recollection the email referenced, “the potential of pre-pardons, I believe."

"Please remember if you want or need to communicate something, please let me know," Costello's email reads.

Cohen says that meant to communicate to Giuliani — and ultimately "President Trump."

Cohen describes back-channel communication with Costello as "I-spy-ish"

On June 13, 2018, Robert Costello emailed Michael Cohen: "Since you jumped off the phone rather abruptly, I did not get a chance to tell you that my friend has communicated to me that he is meeting with his client this evening and he added that if there was anything you wanted to convey you should tell me and my friend will bring it up for discussion this evening."

The "friend" referred to in the email was Rudy Giuliani, and his client was Trump, Cohen says."Donald J Trump — President Trump," Cohen said, correcting himself.

Hoffinger asked Cohen why Costello didn't just say Giuliani and Trump directly in the email.

"Sort of to be covert, it's all backchannel." Cohen added, "I-spy-ish."

Costello expressed "obvious relationship" to Giuliani in emails, Cohen says

Prosecutors are going through more emails between Michael Cohen and Robert Costello.

On June 7, 2018, Costello emailed Cohen: "To prove to you that Rudy Giuliani called me and I did not call him, I photographed the pages from my iPhone." He then listed a series of phone calls.

Cohen testifies that in that email, Costello was "expressing to me his obvious relationship with Rudy Giuliani, who was proximate to President Trump."

"The friend in high places was President Trump," Cohen testifies about Costello's emails

On April 21, Robert Costello wrote to Michael Cohen: "I just spoke to Rudy Giuliani and told him I was on your team. Rudy was thrilled and said this could not be a better situation for the President or you. He asked me if it was ok to call the President and Jay Sekelow (sic) and I said fine."

It continued: "He said I can’t tell you how pleased I am that I can work with someone I know and trust. He asked me to tell you that he knows how tough this is on you and your family and he will make sure to tell the president. He said thank you for opening this back channel of communication and asked me to keep in touch. I told him I would after speaking to you further."

The jury was also shown a second email from Costello to Cohen where he said: "I spoke with Rudy. Very very Positive. You are ‘loved.’ If you want to call me I will give you the details. I told him everything you asked me to and he said they knew that. There was never a doubt that they are in our corner."

"Sleep well tonight. You have friends in high places," Costello said in the email.

"The friend in high places was President Trump," Cohen testified.

Michael Cohen explains the Stormy Daniels media frenzy. Here’s more from his testimony

From CNN's Christina Zdanowicz

Michael Cohen detailed this morning how he tried to control the Stormy Daniels story in the media and how the 2018 FBI raid went down.

Here are the highlights of his testimony:

Stormy Daniels in the media: The prosecution spent time outlining more about the $130,000 hush money payment to Stormy Daniels and the media coverage that followed. Here are some of the key points from Cohen:

• He said he told Keith Davidson, Daniels' former attorney, to write a “strong denial comment” for the 2018 story in the Wall Street Journal
• At the time of the article, Cohen said did not tell the truth about his involvement in the payoff and the fact Trump repaid him.
• He knew another Stormy Daniels' statement denying the sexual encounter was false because he wrote it.

FBI raid: Cohen said he was raided by the FBI in April 2018. His cell phones that were seized included the phone that contained the audio recording of Cohen and Trump on it.

Still in Trump’s fold: Cohen said he believed Trump was communicating with him through tweets in 2018 and sending messages like “Stay in the fold, stay loyal.” Trump was still paying his legal fees in April 2018, which he felt confirmed he was still under Trump's protection, he said.

Prosecution introduces emails between Costello and Cohen into evidence

Prosecutor Susan Hoffinger introduces emails between Robert Costello and Michael Cohen into evidence.

“I am sure you saw the news that Rudy is joining the Trump legal team. I told you my relationship with Rudy which could be very very useful for you," Costello wrote on April 19, 2018.

Cohen said he took this as a message from Costello "again to reinforce the whole concept of the back channel."

"The back channel was Bob Costello to Rudy, Rudy to President Trump," Cohen explained.

Costello told Cohen "back-channel communication" with Trump would ensure "you're still good"

Michael Cohen says that at the meeting, Robert Costello told him "this would be a great way to have a back-channel communication to the president in order to ensure that you’re still good and you’re still secure."

Cohen says he wasn't sure about Costello at the time.

He says, "there was something really sketchy and wrong about him," noting that was because of Costello's close relationship with Rudy Giuliani.

Cohen says that he did not disclose everything that happened at that meeting, because he believed anything that he said would be "spoken and told to Rudy Giuliani."

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