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ADHD and classroom challenges

What teachers can do to help children with adhd, classroom accommodations for students with adhd, teaching techniques for students with adhd, teaching students with adhd.

Dealing with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in the classroom? These tips for teachers can help you overcome common challenges and help kids with ADHD succeed at school.

If you’re a teacher, you know these kids: The one who stares out the window, substituting the arc of a bird in flight for her math lesson. The one who wouldn’t be able to keep his rear end in the chair if you used Krazy Glue. The one who answers the question, “What body of water played a major role in the development of the Ancient Egyptian civilization?” with “Mrs. M, do you dye your hair?”

Students who exhibit ADHD’s hallmark symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity can be frustrating. You know the brainpower is there, but they just can’t seem to focus on the material you’re working hard to deliver. Plus, their behaviors take time away from instruction and disrupt the whole class.

Students with ADHD may:

• Demand attention by talking out of turn or moving around the room.
• Have trouble following instructions, especially when they’re presented in a list, and with operations that require ordered steps, such as long division or solving equations.
• Often forget to write down homework assignments, do them, or bring completed work to school.
• Often lack fine motor control, which makes note-taking difficult and handwriting a trial to read.
• Have problems with long-term projects where there is no direct supervision.
• Not pull their weight during group work and may even keep a group from accomplishing its task.

Think of what the school setting requires children to do: Sit still. Listen quietly. Pay attention. Follow instructions. Concentrate. These are the very things kids with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) have a hard time doing—not because they aren’t willing, but because their brains won’t let them. That doesn’t make teaching them any easier, of course.

Children and teens with ADHD often pay the price for their problems in low grades, scolding and punishment, teasing from their peers, and low self-esteem. Meanwhile, you, the teacher, feel guilty because you can’t reach the child with ADHD and wind up taking complaints from parents who feel their kids are being neglected in the classroom. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are strategies you can employ to help students with ADHD overcome learning challenges, stay focused without disrupting others, and succeed in the classroom .

So how do you teach a kid who won’t settle down and listen? The answer: with a lot of patience, creativity, and consistency. As a teacher, your role is to evaluate each child’s individual needs and strengths. Then you can develop strategies that will help students with ADHD focus, stay on task, and learn to their full capabilities.

Successful programs for children with ADHD integrate the following three components:

• Accommodations: what you can do to make learning easier for students with ADHD.
• Instruction: the methods you use in teaching.
• Intervention: How you head off behaviors that disrupt concentration or distract other students.

Your most effective tool, however, in helping a student with ADHD is a positive attitude. Make the student your partner by saying, “Let’s figure out ways together to help you get your work done.” Assure the student that you’ll be looking for good behavior and quality work and when you see it, reinforce it with immediate and sincere praise. Finally, look for ways to motivate a student with ADHD by offering rewards on a point or token system.

Dealing with disruptive classroom behavior

To head off behavior that takes time from other students, work out a couple of warning signals with the student who has ADHD. This can be a hand signal, an unobtrusive shoulder squeeze, or a sticky note on the student’s desk. If you have to discuss the student’s behavior, do so in private. And try to ignore mildly inappropriate behavior if it’s unintentional and isn’t distracting other students or disrupting the lesson.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

As a teacher, you can make changes in the classroom to help minimize the distractions and disruptions of ADHD.

• Seat the student with ADHD away from windows and away from the door.
• Put the student with ADHD right in front of your desk unless that would be a distraction for the student.
• Seats in rows, with focus on the teacher, usually work better than having students seated around tables or facing one another in other arrangements.
• Create a quiet area free of distractions for test-taking and quiet study.

Information delivery

• Give instructions one at a time and repeat as necessary.
• If possible, work on the most difficult material early in the day.
• Use visuals: charts, pictures, color coding.
• Create outlines for note-taking that organize the information as you deliver it.

Student work

• Create worksheets and tests with fewer items, give frequent short quizzes rather than long tests, and reduce the number of timed tests.
• Test students with ADHD in the way they do best, such as orally or filling in blanks.
• Divide long-term projects into segments and assign a completion goal for each segment.
• Accept late work and give partial credit for partial work.

Organization

• Have the student keep a master binder with a separate section for each subject, and make sure everything that goes into the notebook is put in the correct section. Color-code materials for each subject.
• Provide a three-pocket notebook insert for homework assignments, completed homework, and “mail” to parents (permission slips, PTA flyers).
• Make sure the student has a system for writing down assignments and important dates and uses it.
• Allow time for the student to organize materials and assignments for home. Post steps for getting ready to go home.

Teaching techniques that help students with ADHD focus and maintain their concentration on your lesson and their work can be beneficial to the entire class.

Starting a lesson

• Signal the start of a lesson with an aural cue, such as an egg timer, a cowbell or a horn. (You can use subsequent cues to show how much time remains in a lesson.)
• Establish eye contact with any student who has ADHD.
• List the activities of the lesson on the board.
• In opening the lesson, tell students what they’re going to learn and what your expectations are. Tell students exactly what materials they’ll need.

Conducting the lesson

• Keep instructions simple and structured. Use props, charts, and other visual aids.
• Vary the pace and include different kinds of activities. Many students with ADHD do well with competitive games or other activities that are rapid and intense.
• Have an unobtrusive cue set up with the student who has ADHD, such as a touch on the shoulder or placing a sticky note on the student’s desk, to remind the student to stay on task.
• Allow a student with ADHD frequent breaks and let him or her squeeze a rubber ball or tap something that doesn’t make noise as a physical outlet.
• Try not to ask a student with ADHD perform a task or answer a question publicly that might be too difficult.

Ending the lesson

• Summarize key points.
• If you give an assignment, have three different students repeat it, then have the class say it in unison, and put it on the board.
• Be specific about what to take home.

More Information

• Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) - Tips and resources for teachers. (Center for Parent Information and Resources)
• In the Classroom: Ideas and Strategies for Kids with ADD and Learning Disabilities - Suggestions for teaching children with ADHD. (Child Development Institute)
• Motivating the Child with Attention Deficit Disorder - How ADHD symptoms interfere with classroom expectations and how to realistically motivate a child. (LD Online)
• Step-by-Step Guide for Securing ADHD Accommodations at School - Meeting your child’s educational needs with ADHD accommodations at school. (ADDitude)
• Contents of the IEP - Guide to developing an Individualized Education Program (IEP) with school staff to address your child’s educational needs. (Center for Parent Information and Resources)
• Neurodevelopmental Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders . American Psychiatric Association. Link
• Teaching Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Instructional Strategies and Practices– Pg 1. (2008). [Reference Materials; Instructional Materials]. US Department of Education. Link
• Gaastra, G. F., Groen, Y., Tucha, L., & Tucha, O. (2016). The Effects of Classroom Interventions on Off-Task and Disruptive Classroom Behavior in Children with Symptoms of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Meta-Analytic Review. PLOS ONE, 11(2), e0148841. Link
• CDC. (2019, November 7). ADHD in the Classroom . Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Link

More in ADHD

What Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder looks like in kids

Helping children with ADD or ADHD succeed in school

Learn what you can do to help your child thrive

ADHD in Adults

Recognizing the signs and symptoms, and what you can do about it

Tips for dealing with symptoms, and being more focused and organized

ADHD Medications

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School success kit for kids with adhd.

Tools and strategies to help manage time, stay focused, and handle homework

Writer: Rae Jacobson

What You'll Learn

• What are some ways to help kids with ADHD get organized?
• How can parents help kids plan ahead?

For kids with ADHD, the right approach to school can mean the difference between good grades (and the confidence that comes with them) and  “I lost my homework… again.” Here are a few suggestions for tools and strategies to help kids with ADHD get set for success.  

First, get the materials you’ll need. Find, and test, a good planner or calendar so your child can get comfortable using it. There are lots of other tools that can help kids stay on time and on task. Get back-ups of items that often get lost. For example, if disappearing socks (or keys, or gloves or hats) are slowing you down, getting more can help you get out the door on time.  

Talk with your child about how to tackle challenges. For example, if paying attention is hard, they could agree to sit at the front of the classroom. If homework is a big issue, setting up a structured, regular homework routine will help. You can also pick a quiet, organized space where kids can work with fewer distractions.  

 If kids take medication, make sure they’re doing so regularly. Go over potential problems with teachers and work together to come up with a plan for what to do if they come up.  

For a lot of kids with ADHD, past difficulties can make it hard to feel good about school. Let your child know that the past is something you can both learn from, and agree to start from a clean slate. Talk about any anxieties they have, and work together to make a plan to support them emotionally throughout the year.  

For kids with ADHD , the right approach to school can mean the difference between good grades, and the confidence that comes with them, and another round of, “I lost my homework … again.” Here are a few suggestions for tools and strategies to help kids with ADHD get set for success.

• Calendar(s):  Whether it’s the New Year, the new school year, or any time a resolution is made to be better organized , calendars are key to kids with ADHD. Your child should have a  school calendar  with enough space to allow them to write down and organize (by color-coding!) assignments. We recommend a separate calendar for social engagements and after-school activities. Additionally, it helps to add everything to a  digital calendar  with a reminder function that can push notifications to their phone. Another feature of online calendars is the  sharing function.  This allows them to share their calendar with parents and teachers and helps everyone stay on the same page.
• Backup Items:  Avoid morning (and afternoon, and evening) panic by having  multiples of items that are easily lost . Think about the things that tend to go missing: If disappearing socks are slowing you down, get more socks. If stealthy shoes (or keys, or gloves or hats or transit fares) are making them late, keeping backups on hand will help them get out the door on time.
• Head of the Class : Literally. Sitting in the front of the room not only helps kids avoid the distractions (and temptations!) of back-row chatter and note-passing — it also  promotes accountability . The harder it is for kids with ADHD to slip through the cracks, the better. When kids sit up front, it’s easier for the teacher to notice if they’re having a hard time and give you both a chance address the issue  before  it becomes a problem.
• Set Up a Homework Routine:  Having a structured, regular homework routine will help kids and parents get work done without squabbles when it’s time to hit the books. Designate a quiet, organized space where kids can work with minimal distractions. Schedule regular breaks for them to get up and move around — not screen breaks! — and don’t forget snacks to help keep blood sugar and focus going strong.
• Prioritize:  Kids with ADHD often have trouble knowing which assignments should take priority. Here is where  color-coding  can really come in handy. Arm them with highlighters— and backup highlighters! Assign each color a priority level. For example pink would be “high,” blue, “medium,” and green, “low.” Having a pre-established system will help them build skills and get a sense of what to do when. You can also use apps like  Remember the Milk , which allows users to add due dates, priority levels, and estimates of how much time each task will take.
• Time Management:  The eternal battle. Learning to effectively manage time is the grail for kids with ADHD. In addition to calendars,  task timers  like  Focus Booster  can help kids get better at judging how much time each task will take, and let them know when it’s time to move on to something new. Timers aren’t just helpful with homework and chores — they can also use one during longer tests to remind her him to switch sections and use their time efficiently.
• Structured Play Dates:  If your son or daughter with ADHD has trouble making and keeping friends , play dates with structured activity, where you can tell them what’s expected of them, can ease their anxiety about fitting in socially.
• Medication Check-in : Kids who have  stopped taking meds during summer  should begin taking them again before school starts so they have time to adjust. And when school starts it’s important to pay close attention to how it’s working over the full day (including mornings!) and adjust the schedule so kids aren’t crashing during the last few periods or having mid-math homework meltdowns after school.
• Concentration Aids:  White noise generators help block distractions and boost productivity. Try apps like  Simply Noise  that offer a few “types” of noise (pink or brown noise, rainstorms, calming music, etc) so kids can choose what works best for them. You can also use a  white noise machine  or run a loud fan at home to help kids during homework.
• Recording Apps:  No matter what accommodations kids have, paying attention to lectures and verbal instructions is a big part of doing well in school. Help kids stay on track by using recording apps with dictation functions. That way they can review any missed information later on.
• Check the Policy:  Assistive technology can be great for kids with ADHD, but a lot of it relies on smartphones. If your child uses apps to help them during school make sure you  check his school’s cell phone policy.  If it’s strict, you’ll need to address it during IEP meetings.
• Save and Share:  Sometimes it seems like ADHD and Murphy’s Law are one and the same. If homework can be lost, left behind or vanish, it’ll happen. If your child is working on an important paper or project encourage them to use programs like Google Docs that  are set to save frequently and backup to online servers . This way, he’ll have access to documents wherever he goes and won’t run the risk of losing his work if the computer encounters a problem.
• Get Moving:  Studies show that  exercise has a positive impact on focus and attention in children with ADHD. When you’re thinking about school schedules and after-school activities, include things that get kids get moving. Make sure you’re signing kids up for things they’ll actually like, whether that’s basketball, gymnastics, hiking or real-world Quidditch. What they’re doing isn’t important as long as they’re getting exercise and forming positive associations with physical activity.
• Give the Teacher a Heads Up:  If you’re not planning on having an IEP for your child, it’s still a good idea to let their teachers know they learn differently . A quick heads up gives teachers insight into potential behavioral issues how to support them throughout the semester.
• Practice Advocating:  Parents shouldn’t be the only ones talking with teachers. The best thing your child can do to ensure a bright future is learn to become their own advocate. Whenever possible, put them in charge of talking to teachers or peers about their ADHD . Practicing advocacy skills now will help them gain the confidence they’ll need to succeed later in life.
• A Clean Slate:  For a lot of kids with ADHD, past difficulties can make it hard to have a positive outlook on school. Fears of messing up socially, failing in school, and disappointing parents and teachers are very real for kids with ADHD. Let your child know that the past is something you can both learn from, but otherwise agree to work from a clean slate. Talk about any anxieties they may have around school, and work together to make a plan to support them emotionally throughout the year.

Frequently Asked Questions

You can help your child with ADHD focus in school by introducing more structure and organization into their daily life. For example, experts recommend color-coded calendars to help track and prioritize assignments. Seating the child at the front of the class will also help them stay on track by limiting distractions. Parents can also set up regular homework routines and some form of exercise after school.

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Health Issues

ADHD and Homework

Our eleven-year-old daughter, who has been diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD, has been doing better since she began treatment with stimulant medication. However, we still have trouble getting her organized around homework. We have tried setting up an office in her room, taking away all the distractions, keeping the area quiet, and not allowing the television to go on until all her homework is done. We don’t seem to be making much progress and, in fact, we are all getting even more frustrated because nothing seems to work. Her teachers still complain that work is not getting turned in, and her grades are still suffering in spite of her teacher always telling us how bright she is.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to the ideal homework setting. Some children with ADHD work inefficiently in an isolated, quiet setting like their room, and do better in the midst of some action, like at the kitchen table with a radio playing. You might need to try a few different settings until you find the most efficient one.

In addition, you might need to figure out if any other factors are making homework difficult. Think about all the steps involved. Does your child know what all the assignments are? Does she bring the materials home that are necessary for doing the work? Does she have a nightly work plan that fits with her learning style? (She might need to schedule breaks between math and English, or between outlining the report and writing the first 3 paragraphs.) Does she have a system to check on whether all the nightly work is done? Is there a system for checking that her completed work gets turned in on the due date? How does she or you know that work is late? Have you or her teacher set up rewards for progress or consequences for late work? Is there a system for her teacher to communicate with you about late work?

Once you have gone through this type of systematic list of questions, you can begin to solve the problem in an organized way—and you might discover some simple and obvious solutions. If she is taking stimulant medication and she does her homework primarily at a time after it has worn off, you could consider a short-acting extended dose of medication for the early evening.

Living with and Learning from Inconsistent Behavior in ADHD

Variability can feel confusing and frustrating but is an expected part of adhd..

Posted May 13, 2024 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

• What Is ADHD?
• Find a therapist to help with ADHD
• Inconsistency in ADHD can feel befuddling and lead to conflict.
• Inconsistent performance is a marker for any of us of a skill that isn't fully formed yet.
• When a child with ADHD seems unusually inconsistent, that frequently reveals a skill that needs building.
• If inconsistency is persistently disruptive, consider an objective review of possible ADHD interventions.

What surprises me is there is so much variability, I don’t know what to expect day to day, cooperation or resistance.

I don’t get it. We don’t have any problems at all at home. How come he struggles so much to behave in school?

With ADHD , inconsistency can feel like a puzzle to solve, as the quotes throughout this article reflect. It can seem confusing—and can be misleading.

Variability in behavior gets misinterpreted, for example, as meaning a child doesn’t actually need support. If you are capable sometimes why wouldn’t you be capable always ? It feels like a befuddling contradiction when life looks so up and down.

Another common example is focus . If you can pay attention in your favorite class, why not your hardest? That pattern suggests either, you don’t need help, or, you need to care more . Yet that kind of uneven focus is routine ADHD—it’s frustrating but expected.

What Accounts for the Variability in ADHD Behavior?

The underlying cause of that unevenness in academics or behavior or mood is often straight-forward with ADHD. ADHD impacts executive function, which includes skills such as focus, impulse control, time management , and emotional regulation . As with any new skill in life, a child will remain inconsistent until their underlying abilities improve. Their inconsistency represents an accurate reflection—difficult as it is to live with—of various ADHD symptoms to address.

When someone has been diagnosed with ADHD, it’s not only that they are imperfect (like us all!) but that some aspect of ADHD significantly impacts their well-being. Their symptoms must reach that level to consider a diagnosis.

It’s not a total absence of skill, however. By nature, in some moments, things come together—and then with ADHD, there are likely too many moments where they do not.

Inconsistency as a Measure of Skill

It’s so simple—why can’t you remember to hand in your homework every day?

I don’t understand—you treat your friends nicely, why not your sister?

I’m a decidedly average tennis player. On any random day, if my serve happens to go in a bunch, I’ll beat a better player. If I play that same person several times, my maddeningly unreliable serve undermines me. More consistency makes my opponent better at tennis. My game will remain unchanged unless I put the time and effort into forging a reliable serve.

When a child seems to have life figured out one day but not the next, parents can tie themselves in knots trying to understand "why." And yet, those behaviors are akin to my tennis. Executive function relates to basically anything requiring management , coordination, and planning in life. When skills aren’t yet solid enough, that creates exhaustingly inconsistent performance.

The practical solution for inconsistency is not overthinking the roller coaster itself but seeking its cause. Let go of judgment, consider ADHD and executive function, and identify where skills might be lacking. A child’s performance will remain up and down until that underlying ability fully forms.

Motivation and Inconsistency

I don’t even know if we need to change anything; she gets her work done when she cares enough.

How come you behaved for dinner when I promised you ice cream, but not the rest of the weekend?

The relationship of inconsistency to motivation adds more confusion. Maybe a student gets a huge paper done on time, for the first time, because they don’t want to miss a ski trip.

Consider though, stories of people accomplishing super-human feats when panicked, like lifting a heavy object off a child. Pushing someone to an extreme creates a window of intensity that ramps up immediate performance.

When pushed hard enough, we all do amazing things briefly that we could never maintain day to day. Pressure and rewards lead to over-performance only for a short sprint. But that unsustainable pattern may falsely imply, If you can manage under crisis, you should be able to all the time .

Inconsistency can get misattributed to either bad choices or lack of effort. Children end up feeling judged or blamed even though it’s not something they can control until their ADHD symptoms become less impactful.

Kids with ADHD typically do care about school or other goals. It can seem like they don’t when they struggle with their impulsivity, persistence, or organization.

Even the ability to develop, sustain, and problem-solve plans is affected by ADHD. What we call "motivation" requires caring combined with any specific skills needed to accomplish a goal.

Replace any rumination or judgment with a basic ADHD-related question instead. Working hard matters, but what skills are also involved and what should we do to strengthen them? It’s a freeing perspective for both parents and kids.

How to Build Skills

It’s like there’s conflicting evidence; the data doesn’t line up.

I don’t understand—you’re clearly capable. Don’t you care how you do?

Overthinking inconsistency not only confuses people; it can delay treatment. When someone focuses (but not in their hard classes), or usually hands in homework (but larger projects fall apart), it’s easy to rationalize away help. But inconsistency is not a sign a child could do better if they wanted; it indicates a need to increase their ADHD support.

How do we build ADHD-related skills? It is estimated that ADHD represents up to a one-third delay in executive functioning , a framework that presents countless opportunities for intervention. We start by reframing difficulties as ADHD-related, instead of effort-related. With that renewed clarity, we can then choose new plans that build consistency.

Which kind of plan will work depends on the specific challenge. For focus and impulse control, medication tends to be most effective. Early academic habits grow through routines that parents and teachers create and sustain. Numerous other cognitive, academic, and emotional skills develop through work with therapists and coaches.

Instead of feeling confused by inconsistency, see it as a signpost pointing at the next step in ADHD care. A strong tennis player lands most of their serves even when not at their best. A student with ADHD taking a well-adjusted medication focuses better when pushed by harder classes. An exhausted child with a well-structured morning routine makes the bus even on an off day.

It’s not “personal” or willful that a child acts inconsistently. It typically means the right plan has not been implemented yet.

Mark Bertin, M.D., is a developmental pediatrician and author of Mindful Parenting for ADHD and Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Teen ADHD.

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At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

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What it’s like to work with ADHD

Editor’s Note: AJ Willingham is senior culture writer for CNN.

“When you move again, you are going to go downstairs, and you are going to collect the clean clothes from the dryer.”

This is what I tell myself as I sit at my desk and stare out the window, paralyzed by the mounting weight of this simple task. It’s the end of the workday, and my 3:30 p.m. Adderall is coursing through my veins like blue lightning.

If I don’t try to move now, I could find myself staring vacantly at a computer screen for the next two hours. I don’t want that. I want to go downstairs and gather the laundry that’s sitting in the dryer, because laundry is one of those things that I, a functional person, should be able to do with basic fluency.

“And, while you’re there,” my brain adds, “you can get a trash bag.”

A trash bag, to bring to my home office where I work as a senior culture writer for CNN when I’m not at CNN’s Atlanta offices. I have an Emmy on one side of my desk, and on the other, a list of tasks that looks like it was written for a middle schooler: “Remember to check your email! You have a meeting at 1 p.m.!” (That second one is in huge letters, circled and underlined several times, like a silent scream.)

I’m proud of the career I’ve built over 15 years at CNN. I’ve written about taxidermy and cosplay , nonlethal police munitions and “ rapture anxiety .” My work has won an Emmy, a National Association of Black Journalists Award and some Webbys , and gotten to explore innumerable fascinating facets of humanity. I used to think I had done it all in spite of my ADHD, which was officially diagnosed eight years ago. But what if, laundry notwithstanding, some of my success is because of it?

Throughout my career, I’ve had the honor of speaking to several college journalism classes. Sometimes I mention my lifelong struggle with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, but I feel like it’s always a risk. Journalism is a discipline of details, a dance of deadlines. Admitting there’s something in my brain that makes those things difficult feels like calling my professional fitness into question.

But journalism is also an exercise in truth, isn’t it? While it would look more glamorous chattering in a newsroom or splashed across a web page, sometimes the truth is lying dormant in the dryer, waiting to be put away. Sometimes it’s hiding in a messy office between artifacts of a satisfying career and a mound of unfiled paperwork.

Cleaning the office is another task I wanted to accomplish today, or maybe have been wanting to accomplish for a week. It starts with the trash bag, which is downstairs, in the laundry room. One of the sad ironies for people who have ADHD is that we crave the order we can’t seem to create. Until the office is clean, I will always be a little distracted, surrounded by another task waiting to be done.

Unfortunately, with an errant thought, I have created a mega task, because remembering to retrieve two things from one location requires intense mental calculus that I, a person who can talk at length about at least a dozen irrelevant special interests, cannot access. (“It’s not hard!” chirps the blue rush of amphetamines, which are swirling around my brain but not quite reaching it yet.)

I won’t know until I start moving, which I haven’t. I stopped to write this all down. (That is a great writing tip for people with ADHD: Wait until you’re supposed to be doing something else, and the words will flow.)

READ MORE: If you have ADHD, here’s how to manage working from home

Mindfulness is another skill I rely upon so now I’m loosening my jaw, flicking glances at the green leaves outside in an attempt to calm my mind and return it to the task at hand, which is not collecting laundry or getting a trash bag but preparing to do those things. A common tip for people with ADHD is to break down a task into manageable bits: Stand up. Go downstairs. Open the dryer. Put the laundry in the laundry basket.

Oh, you forgot the laundry basket.

But first, step one: Think about the task. Then think about breaking it down (which is another task). Then recall you forgot a step in this imagined set of actions. Thank God you thought about it beforehand, or you would be in the laundry room right now without the laundry basket, looking stupid.

When asked about my experiences, I often describe ADHD as an ever-present animal. You can’t cage it or tame it into submission. You learn to live in kind cohabitation so you can do what you need to do, whether it’s crafting a personal essay on ADHD or putting away a load of laundry.

Sometimes, the former is easier than the latter. It’s certainly more important, which is why I’m writing this instead of shuffling downstairs repeating the phrase “Laundry and trash bag, laundry and trash bag” like a Druidic incantation.

If I were to start now, the whole laundry thing would take about five minutes, and I would be flabbergasted at how little effort it took, as if it were the first task I ever accomplished in my life and I now possess a secret never-before-considered solution, which is just doing it. Experts tell you to imagine how good it would feel to have the task accomplished. That approach is supposed to help start a task, but unfortunately it triggers another task: feeling guilty for not already accomplishing it in the time it took to inflate the simple act of laundry into a cosmic symbol for living. Feeling like maybe you’re not good enough for any of this, at all.

Just do it!

My parents, frustrated with all I could have done but didn’t as a child, had me write those words and hang them on my bedroom door. My mother cried once when I didn’t finish my homework in fourth grade. “Does she have a tumor?” she said to my father. “We should get her tested for a tumor.”

Turning to me in tears she asked, “Is it because you’re just not challenged?” I was smart, so I said yes. That wasn’t the real problem, but I didn’t have a name for the real problem. I wasn’t old or brave enough to tell her I had pleaded with myself more times than she ever could. That I was queasy with the premonition of a lifetime spent sensing other people’s disappointment.

It took years to get the right combination of support that helps me keep the beast asleep while I do my job. It’s a delicate balance of personal discipline, intentionality, open communication, prescription medicine and relentless, deranged positivity. The last ingredient seems so trite but is necessary for anyone struggling with a learning difference. I have learned that you have to be kind to yourself and embrace what you can do rather than wallow in guilt over what you think you can’t.

We often discuss the downsides of such differences instead of the very real strengths: An ADHD mind, agile and perpetually in motion, can make unexpected connections and present solutions no one else has considered. It is often brimming with compassion, creativity and curiosity. Editors who work with me can be frustrated when the guilt and anxiety I feel over fudging a deadline throws me off course. At the same time, they appreciate that I can easily adjust to feedback and new ideas with little elaboration.

READ MORE: Signs of ADHD can be different in girls

The stigma around ADHD and other learning differences is starting to crack as we discover more about what makes such brains tick. However, it’s still tough to talk about in high-demand professions such as journalism, where any divergence can feel like a liability for people like me.

After one talk I gave about working at CNN, a student hung back to tell me he was excited to hear someone in the business talk openly ADHD. I realized I should be talking openly about it, because, when properly managed, ADHD brings more to the story than you could imagine.

Now, instead of begging myself to “just do it,” I have a different note on my work laptop: “Do a good job.” That’s all I need most days. That, I can promise myself. I’ve written this story, so that’s one task off the list. When I finally do the laundry, I will do it so well.

It may not be today though.

I’m stuck with this brain for the rest of my life, so while I may do my best, sometimes, I’m trying to be happy with good. Journalism is about honesty, after all.

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42 Raw Confessions from Women with ADHD

Additude asked its readers: what do you wish the world knew about being a girl or woman with adhd more than 600 of you responded..

42 Things You Need to Know About Girls and Women with ADHD

The world is seriously misinformed about how women and girls experience ADHD.

This is the overwhelming sentiment reflected across Instagram comments in response to ADDitude’s question : What do you wish the world knew about being a girl or woman with ADHD?

From the significance of hormonal fluctuations to the weight of stigma, shame, and misunderstood symptoms, here’s what women need you to know about what it’s like to grow up and live with ADHD.

What else should the world know about being a woman with ADHD ? Tell us in the comments (or join in on the conversation via Instagram!)

We’re Not Allowed to Show Our ADHD

“Being a mother with ADHD and having children with ADHD is even harder because the world expects you to parent like neither of you have it .” — @softballgarden

“ Our hyperactivity is internal . It’s in our minds. And we are made to hide it. So we are EXHAUSTED from masking. You see us sitting still, but we’re not. Our minds are NEVER still.” — @alexandra.c.beale

“ To be a woman with ADHD is to be set up for repeated failure to meet societal (and familial) expectations , and to carry the shame of those repeated failures, the weight of which most men with ADHD simply don’t even have to consider or even be aware of.” — @vmhague

“We are not all predominantly inattentive and good at masking our hyperactivity. With being a clumsy, fast-talking, hyperactive, restless woman comes a specific sense of shame that’s taken me a long time to shake off. I struggle with feeling more disheveled, less poised, and subsequently less ‘feminine’ than how I perceive other women. ” — @vanessamilton_

“What you see, and therefore what you assume, are very different from what I’m experiencing internally .” — @misskellychavez

Next Steps:

• Read: ADHD Symptoms in Women Aren’t ‘Hidden.’ They Are Misinterpreted.
• Read: Why Masking Is a Form of Self-Sabotage  — and How to Stop
• Read: Women with ADHD — No More Suffering in Silence
• Read: 12 Hurtful, Misogynistic Comments Women with ADHD Hear

Most of Us Are Burnt Out

“ We are CONSTANTLY burnt out because we refuse to treat ourselves like we have a disability — because everyone needs something from us and wants it with a smile.” — @courtneyadhd

“Just because we get things done doesn't mean we don't have ADHD. [That assumption] is dismissing the complete and exhausting dumpster fire that happened in my brain to actually accomplish what was done.” — @blackaxedream

“I can only deal with so much in a day, and that limit varies from day to day. I will experience burnout if I push beyond this limit, so when I say I can't do anymore, I mean it .” — @groovybeanz

“ADHD can also look like being a good student who is a ‘pleasure to have in class’ — because no one else can see the anxiety and perfectionism until you burn out as an adult. ” — @jyapapaya

• Take This Self-Test: 14 Questions That Reveal Symptoms of Burnout
• Read: Rising from ADHD Burnout — A Recovery Kit for Women
• Read: The Antidote to ADHD Fatigue and Exhaustion? Stacking Habits (and Spoons)

Hormonal Fluctuations Fundamentally Impact How We Experience ADHD

“ When estrogen decides to leave the building once a month, executive functioning /ADHD worsens . If you're medicated, it can feel like medication is not working that well. This can get worse with age and then we get screwed again come menopause. Take care of both your ADHD and your hormones as best as you can because they affect each other more than you think!” — @rosecolewoman

“It gets worse as we get older. Perimenopause brain fog + ADHD is like walking around inside a cloud of permanent confusion .” — @alisonjanetripney

“ Our hormones impact our ADHD symptomatology and moods. This is not in the DSM because most studies were done on boys. Mood swings are definitely part of the female experience of ADHD and our cycle greatly impacts the severity of our symptoms. So many medical professionals do not know this.” — @adhd_ame

“ Hormones can knock out our ADHD meds completely. Also, PMDD is very common with ADHD.” — @pinkpearbear_adhd

“Pay attention once you hit your 40s, as you likely need to address symptoms of perimenopause, which are often mistaken for and overlap with ADHD. Inform yourself, as the psych community is WAY late to the game. (Hell, they’re at the wrong stadium.)” — @hannah4pix

• Read ADDitude's Call for Research: How Hormonal Changes Impact ADHD Symptoms in Women
• We Demand Attention!  Why Do Women with ADHD Face an Outsized Risk for PMDD and PPD?
• Free Menstrual Cycle Tracking Log: Learn How Hormonal Fluctuations Impact Your Symptoms
• Read: Menstrual Cycle Phases and ADHD — Why Cycle Syncing Is Essential

We Are Unlearning a Lifetime of Shame

“ Learning we have ADHD is both liberating and painful. We now know our issues were due not to a lack of effort but of suitable support. We also realize how long we were mischaracterized and shamed. For many of us, we had come to believe we were flakey, ditzy, lacking willpower, chaotic, careless, sloppy, etc. We are now unlearning a lifetime of shame and deprecating messages we’ve internalized. The process is so bittersweet, it’s hard to adequately put it into words.” — @alanapace1

“ The amount of guilt, self-blame, self-shame, self-help and internal work we do on ourselves in order to improve daily is more than a person without ADHD will do in their lifetime.” — @rinabhartman

“Whatever someone is judging me about, I’m judging myself 48,387,473 x worse . It can be crushing.” — @oliviablackmore

• Read: You Are Enough — How to Counteract Imposter Syndrome, Perfectionism, and RSD
• Read: 6 Steps to Dismantling Internalized Shame
• Read: The Transformative Power of an ADHD Diagnosis for Older Women
• Read: “I Could Have Been Myself for So Much Longer.”

We Try So, So Hard. And We Absolutely Care.

“ I’m an extraordinarily hard worker , but it takes me twice as long to get anything done.” —@vavaenviv

“ I'm trying. All. The. Time. I'm. Trying.” — @khalilahhallphoto

“ Nobody is harder on themselves than we are. Every missed deadline, every late arrival, every annoying mistake, every floundering new routine… we are more annoyed than anyone else to be doing that.” — @teachbri

“ We are learning to emotionally regulate ourselves while we parent our kids because girls weren’t associated with ADHD when we were growing up. We lack the very skills we’re expected to teach our kids.” — @mbanne019

“To our friends and loved ones: We care, we really do, even when we forget to text, take pictures, or send cards. We truly love you and care. We can’t remember your phone number or your favorite color, but we care. We will fight hard, kick down doors, drive miles, catch you when you fall, and be there by your side if you say the word .” — @tara_annette

“ Comments like ‘You can do better,’ ‘But you’re so smart,’ or ‘If it was important enough, you’d remember’ are unhelpful and make us feel like we are lazy, stupid and don’t care. Enough of that, and we begin to ask, ‘Why would anyone want me in their life?’ There are many beautiful, brilliant, and funny aspects to us. Find out.” — @dr_stacie_neurofeedback

• Read: Never Caught Up, Never Balanced, Never Believed
• Read: Not Ditzy. Not Lazy. And Definitely Not Dumb.
• Read: 5 Ways ADHD Makes Me the Best, Rudest, Most Caring, Totally Frustrating Friend You’ll Ever Have

We’re Not Interrupting. We’re Engaged.

“ Interrupting is part of how we listen actively. I know it can be annoying, but assume best intentions and give some grace. Sharing stories about ourselves after you share a story about yourself is how we relate and empathize.”  — @happyasagem

“ Reacting to someone’s story by telling another somehow-related story is not a way to show off , it’s our way of listening, of showing we care and understand by showing we can totally relate.” — @pas_perdus_autour_du_monde

“We overshare , we are curious about people in general, we like to have better conversations beyond small talk. ” — @jyoti.sukhnani

• Free Download: The ADHD Friendship Guide for Adults
• Read: “The Rules of Conversation Mystify My ADHD Brain. But I’ll Keep Talking.”
• Read: “All My Friends Are Neurodivergent — and Wonderful”

We Are Passionate, Curious, and Creative. We Have Lots to Offer.

“Our brains are fierce and will absolutely thrive in the right environment. ” — @happyasagem

“We are VERY intuitive and have a lot to bring to the table. Dismiss me at your own risk! ” — @dcjosey

“You have a brilliant, creative, and curious brain that, when focused in your area of extreme interest, has none of the executive function challenges it might have in all other areas. Change your environment when you can, create systems that work for you, do everything you can to calm your nervous system, and practice your creativity every day. Not disordered, just different .” — @tracyotsuka

“ It can be so freakin’ fun in my head. Let me decorate the party or Google a fun, spontaneous day trip. You’ll never forget the fun!” — @belladonnaflorist

“Workplaces are ill-equipped to support employees with ADHD. I wish they only knew the brilliance and magic we can bring. We revolutionize and empower others despite the hate and shame we’ve faced. ” — @tanyaslewis

“Your brain works differently and that is OKAY. You are not broken and there is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with you. Learning to accept the ebbs and flows and not putting so much damn pressure on yourself to perform at a neurotypical standard is key!” — @tifftheofiloscoaching

• Read: “What If My Intense Drive Is Because of — Not in Spite of — My ADHD?”
• Read: 3 Defining Features of ADHD That Everyone Overlooks
• Read: Fostering Neurodiversity in the Workplace
• Read: Famous People with ADHD

We Need You to Give Us the Benefit of the Doubt. And Grace.

“Executive dysfunction is real and we’re not lazy at all. ” — @magdeleen_van_eersel

“ We really are doing the best we can. Don't take any of it personally; it isn't about you.” — @debbie_does_dishes

“ We aren’t stupid, lazy, crazy, ditzy or any of the other derogatory labels that seem to be associated with ADHD.” — @the.atypical.therapy

“ Help me build systems for efficiency and don’t criticize my current systems . My brain is fast, which means it scoots on to another task swiftly!” — @jodie.viall

“ Please celebrate the steps we take. We exert huge amounts of energy to show up.” — @megzmackrenzer

“ I want ‘ time blindness ,’ ‘ emotional dysregulation ,’ and ‘ missing social cues ’ to be understood by the general population, not just the ADHD community. I don’t believe much is well communicated when we tell others that we have ADHD, but they can learn to understand some of the common symptoms.” — @fivelittlelimes

“ I’m not standoffish or rude. I’m just very analytical and introverted, so it’s hard for me to open up at first.” — @stephaniefitzzz

“If you take the time to understand our brains, we can give so much to the world. We just need to be given a chance .” — @lianne.grist.art

“ Just because your brain is typical doesn’t make it right or better. Our differences are just as valid, perfect, and beautiful. Because the world is designed for neurotypical men, it is exhausting just to exist in this environment. So, yeah, no, I’m not going to put the laundry away today. ” — @anniehieronymus

“ Do not judge me by my best day and do not judge me by my worst day. Some days I’m a superstar who does it all and more and some days I’m lucky to be in the right place at the right time. Most days I’m an amalgam of those two; some things come together and others don’t.” — @karenmakesthings

ADHD in Women: Next Steps

• Join ADDitude's Call! We Demand Attention on ADHD in Women
• Free Download: 31 Ways to Demand Gender Equity in Research
• eBook: Women with ADHD — How Hormones, Symptoms & Late Diagnoses Impact Females

*comments edited for brevity and clarity

ADHD in Women: Read These Next

A Call for Greater Research on Women with ADHD

How Do Hormonal Changes Impact ADHD Symptoms in Women?

Stop the Cycle of Shame for Girls with ADHD

Rising from ADHD Burnout: A Recovery Kit for Women

Adhd newsletter, for women only, finally, i feel like i'm not crazy, or lazy, or defective. i feel understood..

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