middle school application essay examples

Middle School Application Essay

Any student can and will tell you that once in their school life, they have encountered an application essay. Whether it is for an organization, a scholarship, an institution or for student council, application essays would always be something common among them. Even for middle school students, they are introduced to the prospect of filling out an application essay. This article will help you with that. So jump right in.

1. Middle School Application Essay Template

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2. Central Middle School Application Essay

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3. Sample Middle School Application Essay

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4. Middle School Scholarship Application Essay

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5. Middle School Student Council Application Essay

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6. Middle School Application Essay in PDF

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Definition of Application

An application is a legal and official request done through word of mouth or through writing.

Definition of Application Essay

An application essay is a type of essay often called a personal essay or personal statement. This is written by the applicant whether for scholarship or for an organization they wish to join in.

Importance of Application Essay 

An application essay is your opportunity to tell everyone about you. It is your time to shine and show how different you are from others. It is your way of showing to the right people that you are compatible for the job or the position you are applying for. May it be for president in school, a leader in your chapter or community, or even for student council.

Tips on Filling out Application Essays

As there are a lot of uses for an application essay and application form, the tips would be for both. The first few tips would be for the application form followed by the application essay.

To fill out an application form, the first thing you must do or remember is:

• Read everything: Read the directions before answering anything. This is often taken for granted and often times, applicants who do not follow the directions get their applications denied. So as to not let that happen, read everything before answering the following questions needed in the form.
• Write in block letters: Avoid writing in cursive. Block letters are not only formal to look at, they are also easy to read and understand.
• Avoid erasures: As much as possible avoid erasures. Not only will it be difficult to read, some people in different organizations would often tell you to avoid making erasures. To avoid this, make a draft on a different paper or ask questions if you do not understand.
• Review: Review everything. Check if you have answered everything on the form and have not left a single one unanswered.

To write out an application essay:

• Think: What are you planning on writing about. If you are given a topic, what do you want to expound about it? Brainstorm some ideas before you write it out. Your application essay is your ticket to showing how good you are, so it’s best to think.
• Draft it: Once you are done with brainstorming ideas , make a draft essay using an extra paper. Write down your ideas. It doesn’t matter if they are simply phrases or a word. This helps with constructing your sentences easier and for you to formulate a better essay.
• Tone: When writing, your tone for your essay has to be professional. Also, this essay is to persuade the right people to accept your application. Do avoid arguing in your essay. Give out some right information and persuade them but do not make your essay into an argument . That destroys the whole point of writing your essay.
• Word Count: Do not make your essay too wordy or too short. Follow the directions as to how many words they are asking you to write for your essay. It will not disqualify you but it may deduct your points.
• Revise:  If you have time or if you can make time, revise your essay. Check for some misspelled words, check the punctuations and your grammar.

What is the word count for an application essay?

A minimum of 500 to 650 words. This gives you enough to expound on your topic.

Why is it important to write an application essay?

To showcase your talent and skills. This is to show them and to give them information about you. This is your way of proving that you are the right fit for what position you are applying for.

Can I introduce myself in my application essay?

Yes. The best way to introduce yourself is to make it creative.

Application essays are used when you want to apply for a position in school or a scholarship. Be honest when writing your essay. But also, be as creative and give the right information like your introductory paragraph .

Middle School Application Essay Generator

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

Discuss what you hope to achieve in middle school in your Middle School Application Essay.

Write about a subject you are passionate about and why for your Middle School Application Essay.

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by Michelle Boyd Waters, M.Ed.  

A Plethora Of Writing Examples For Middle School (& High School)

October 14, 2014 in  Pedagogy

When I started my first job as a professional newspaper reporter (This job also served as an internship during my junior year in college — I just didn’t leave for about 6 years.), I quickly realized that all my experience, and all my years of journalism education had not been enough to help me write stories about drug busts, fatal car accidents and tornadoes. All the theoretical work I’d done, and all of the nifty little scholastic and collegiate stories I had done, did not prepare me for real world writing.

At that point, I had to find a solution quickly. After all, I had a deadline to meet, and it was only a few hours away.

One of my colleagues, who also served as a mentor, had the solution. She introduced me to the newspaper’s “morgue.” This was a room filled with filing cabinets in which we kept old — dead — stories arranged by reporter. Whenever I wasn’t’ sure how to write a story, all I had to do was check the morgue for similar stories. If I needed to write a story about a local drug bust, for example, I’d find another story on a similar incident, study its structure, and mentally create a formula in which to plugin the information I’d gathered.

Once I’d gained more experience, and had internalized the formula for that particular type of story, I felt free to branch out as the situation — and my training — warranted.

I do the same thing when I want to write a type of letter, brochure, or report that I’ve never written before.

This is what writing looks like in the real world.

Of course, if you’re a new teacher like me, there is one problem with providing mentor texts to my students: I have a dearth of middle school level writing sitting around in my file cabinets.

Fortunately, the Internet is full of sources, so I scoured the bowels of Google to find examples. I know how busy you are, so I’m sharing.

Expository writing examples for middle school

Below are several sources of expository writing samples for middle school students.

• The Write Source Expository Writing Samples
• Holt, Rinehart, Winston Expository Essay Models

Finally, here is an article in the New York Times that will help you teach your students  real-world expository writing skills .

Descriptive writing examples for middle school

• Descriptive Writing Samples from Novels
• Milwaukee Public Schools Descriptive Essay Samples (p. 137)
• Holt, Rinehart, Winston Descriptive Essay Models

Narrative writing examples for middle school

• Writing Samples by Steve Peha (PDF)
• The Write Source Narrative Writing Samples
• Oregon Department of Education Scored Writing Samples (Ideas and Organization)
• Oregon Department of Education Scored Writing Samples (Sentence Fluency and Conventions)
• Oregon Department of Education Scored Writing Samples (Voice and Word Choice)
• Oregon Department of Education High School Scored Narrative and Argumentative Writing Samples
• Holt, Rinehart, Winston Narrative Essay Models

Argumentative/persuasive writing examples for middle school

• The Write Source Persuasive Writing Samples
• Holt, Rinehart, Winston Persuasive Essay Models

Reflective writing examples for middle school

• Reflective essay examples from Lake Washington Girls Middle School

If you know of any other online writing example sources, please feel free to share them in the comments below.

Related topics: Argumentative Writing , Informative Writing , Mentor Texts , Narrative Writing

About the author 

Michelle Boyd Waters, M.Ed.

I am a secondary English Language Arts teacher, a University of Oklahoma student working on my doctorate in Instructional Leadership and Academic Curriculum with an concentration in English Education and co-Editor of the Oklahoma English Journal. I am constantly seeking ways to amplify students' voices and choices.

This is very, very helpful. Thank you for sharing!

As a new middle school teacher (coming from elementary) this was very helpful and encouraging.

Thank you very much for letting me know. I’m glad that I was able to help you!

Thank you! I’m glad I can help.

Your welcome

This is super helpful. Thank you!

These links are a fantastic help. Thank you!

This helped me BUNCHES! Thanks so much!

thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

These links are now dead 🙁

Thank you for notifying me! I have updated the post to include new (live!) links. Some of them are geared towards high school, but I think we can still use them as exemplars of what we want our students to aim for.

Comments are closed.

Admit NY’s Guide to Middle and High School Application Essays

Student essays are one of the most difficult components of the middle and high school admissions process. Applicants are usually writing admissions essays for the first time, and they’re not sure what to write about or how to differentiate these pieces of writing from the kind they do in English class. All of these difficulties mean that students drag their feet in writing middle and high school application essays, causing more stress at the end of the admissions process.

Remember, though: essays don’t have to be as stressful as they seem. Students can view essays as an opportunity to share an authentic part of themselves with admissions committees, better ensuring that both the student and the school are confident about mutual fit. Here are a few tips to reframe the essay writing process and ensure high-quality writing:

These are the student’s essays, not the parent’s. Make sure that all writing submitted is the student’s own work. Schools are very savvy about catching essays that have been written by parents or anyone besides the student. In short, don’t be those people - it’s far riskier to submit a parent-written essay than it is to submit a student-written essay that isn’t perfectly written.

Respond directly to the prompt. Yes, schools are looking for direct responses to the prompts; don’t use essays as an opportunity to expand on other components of the application or tell unrelated stories, unless those topics are tightly related to the question being asked. Check in frequently during writing to make sure that each paragraph of the essay builds an argument related to the prompt.

Think of an essay as a written interview. Essays represent an additional opportunity to open up to the admissions committee, painting a full picture of the student as an academic, athlete, friend, community member, daughter/son, sibling, etc. While essays should tie in to the same themes as the rest of your application (persistence, interest in STEM, etc.), it’s best to use essays to also introduce something new that hasn’t been shared in other parts of the application.

Essays bring personality to the application. Admissions profiles without essays are boring: a list of biographical information, scores, and numbers. Essays are the best chance to “hook” the admissions officer: include an interesting anecdote, write in a unique voice, and infuse writing with personality. While there is a limit to how unique an essay can be (essays that completely ignore the prompt or are written in a hard-to-understand style are counterproductive), it’s best to aim for a very unique essay from the first draft.

Differentiate these essays from school essays. There are many reasons why middle and high school application essays are different from English papers and book reports. First, these essays are explicitly about the student: they should be written in first-person and include much more personal detail than would be typical in a school essay. Second, students can be more flexible in the writing conventions of application essays. While application essays should certainly be structured, logical, and grammatically-correct, they usually don’t need to include a strict thesis or body paragraph structure as students have been taught in English class.

Quality over quantity. Some students write an excellent essay and then panic when they realize they still have 100 words left until the maximum word count. Don’t feel the need to add filler content! A punchy, personal essay that is on the shorter side is much better than a verbose essay that relies on cliches and redundant sentences to fill word count.

Show off quality writing. Application essays are the perfect opportunity to learn some new vocabulary words, vary sentence structure, and use a range of rhetorical devices. Be careful not to pack the essay with too much jargon, but sprinkle in a few polished phrases alongside personal anecdotes to impress the reader. And of course, triple-check the essay for grammar, punctuation, and spelling before submission!

Looking for some extra help on the middle and high school application essays? Our admissions experts have years of experience as educators, admissions officers, and admissions consultants. Reach out today for a check-in.

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3 Tips for Writing Your Child's Private School Application Essay

How to harness the power of storytelling.

By Soojung Smith

Published on: october 30, 2017.

It’s that time of year again: the busy admissions season for private and independent K–12 schools. Keeping track of each school's open houses, campus tours, parent and student interview dates and test requirements can feel like a full-time job. 

Each year, more families are considering private schools for their children and competition for top private schools in the greater Seattle area has become increasingly fierce. Some elite private schools admit fewer than 10 percent of their applicants from a highly qualified candidate pool. High standardized test (SSAT and ISEE) scores and GPAs alone, unfortunately, don’t guarantee a spot at these coveted schools. They're interested in forming a diverse and well-rounded student body that delves beyond students’ test scores and grades.

Some elite private schools admit fewer than 10 percent of their applicants.

One of the biggest mistakes I've seen families make in preparing their child’s applications for admission is to treat the information they submit as separate data points. Rather than painting a complete picture of their student, parent and student essays often read like a student activity form.

To give your child the best chance of success, it's important to be intentional and thoughtful about your child’s application. Remember that admission committees are interested in learning about your child and what your family can offer, and how you will contribute to their schools and school communities.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your child's private school application.

Know what it is you want to say about your child and your family: What are the key messages you want to convey?  

• Think about how you and others see your child. You as parents? Grandparents? Their siblings? How would their friends describe them? Teachers? Neighbors?
• What keywords begin to emerge? Kind? Mature? Creative? Curious? Inventive? A maker? A leader?
• Choose three to five themes that best capture core identities of your child.
• Use your child’s essential qualities, be it their achievements, unique experiences, activities or interests to make the connection to these themes.
• Once themes emerge, look broadly and creatively at parent and student essays, activity profile, teacher recommendations, and other application elements for opportunities to weave these ideas together for differentiation.

Start working on essays and other application elements

• Typically, families apply for three to five schools and, depending upon schools under consideration, you may end up with writing not only a common set of essays but also other unique ones they require from applicants and their families.
• These requirements all add up, expecting a significant amount of time and efforts on your and your child’s end. Good writing is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Be prepared to go through three rounds of drafts of parent and student essays to get to final “quality” ones you and your student feel proud of. Try to have solid first drafts by the end of October, the second one by the end of November and the final draft by the end of December.   
• Make sure you write parent essays while your child writes their student essays. You can lend help to your child, but they need to provide original and thoughtful answers in their portion of the applications as well as during interviews. Schools can tell if a parent writes student essays and even go so far as to collect writing samples.

Use essays and other application elements for effective storytelling

• Use a parent statement, student essays and an extracurricular activity profile to let the reader in: Who is your child? What do they care most? Who is their hero? Why? How do these insights connect with other information you are submitting about your child and your family? Is there a particular story(ies) that helps to describe your child and your family best?
• Distill the story that defines your child and your family in the space provided in online applications before the deadline for completed applications. Each essay question has a specific word count you can’t exceed, so be mindful of how you will use precious real estate to convey main messages for differentiation.

Effective storytelling alone won’t necessarily put your child over the top if they aren't already a competitive candidate. But it goes hand-in-hand with solid standardized test scores and GPAs for robust applications. Let schools know how unique your child and your family are. Let them know how your child and family will contribute to a diverse student body. Good luck!

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About the author.

Soojung Smith is a family education coach, author, CEO and board advisor, and former Microsoft marketing executive. Her children attend two private schools on the Eastside. Soojung supports parents with challenging issues such as private school vs. public school, private school admissions, and students’ executive functioning skills and their public speaking competencies. Email Soojung at  [email protected] .

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10 Winning Scholarship Essay Examples From Real Students

Make your application shine.

Writing a scholarship essay can be intimidating. The competition is fierce and the stakes are high, so students are bound to feel the pressure. It may be helpful, therefore, to look at essays that were successful. What did those students do to impress the committee? These scholarship essay examples will give you a better idea of how to make an application shine! 

Tips for Writing a Scholarship Essay

We’ve put together a whole guide for how to write a scholarship essay , so if you haven’t read it already, definitely give it a look! In addition, here are some quick tips to help students get started. 

Carefully read the rules

The last thing you need is to be disqualified from winning a scholarship because you didn’t do the right thing. 

Start early

Don’t wait until the last minute to start researching and applying for scholarships. Give yourself plenty of time to work through the process. 

Get to know the provider

Think of the scholarship provider as your target audience. You want to tailor your essay to impress them, so do your research. What kinds of candidates are they looking for? What causes do they support? Dig deep for the information you need!

Think about who you are, what you want to say, and how to appeal to the scholarship committee. Write everything down and then choose the best ideas. 

The scholarship committee will be reviewing many applications. How can you make yours unforgettable? Highlight your strongest assets, share hard lessons if they showcase your growth as a person and/or student, and be honest. Never lie in a scholarship essay!

Be professional

Consider this the most important academic paper you’ve ever written. Don’t use slang or casual language. Submit a properly formatted essay that’s been well-edited and proofread by multiple people.

One last tip

Don’t reuse scholarship essays! Yes, it’s time-consuming, but students need to put the same effort into every application. Use the same process and it will get faster and easier every time!

Scholarship Essay Examples

Afc visionary scholarship essay by nicole kuznetsov.

Award Amount: $5,000

Essay prompt: Why do you want to go to college? Why is it important to you?

Why it was successful: The  beauty of this essay is that it’s well-organized and simple. Nicole Kuznetsov chose to outline her story by using chronology and provided a clean, concise story following a linear path.

North Coast Section Foundation Scholarship Essay by Christine Fung

Award Amount: $1,000

Why it was successful: Christine Fung masterfully shared how her upbringing instilled strong values, a love for education, and a passion for medicine .

The Bill Browning Scholarship Essay by Gabby DeMott

Award Amount: $10,000

Essay prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Why it was successful: Gabby DeMott shared her experiences with personal growth and overcoming fears in Germany. She also appealed to the very human feeling of wanting to belong in a way that was inspiring. 

Life Happens Scholarship Essay by Emily Trader

Award Amount: $15,000

Essay prompt: How has the death of a parent or guardian impacted your life financially and emotionally? Be sure to describe how the loss of your parent/guardian impacted your college plans, and explain how the lack of adequate (or any) life insurance coverage has impacted your family’s financial situation.

Why it was successful: Emily Trader fully addressed the prompt in honest, beautiful detail. She knew her audience and tailored her essay to appeal to them while telling her compelling story. 

Change a Life Foundation Scholarship Essay by Isabella Mendez-Figueroa

Essay prompt: Please explain how your experience volunteering and participating in community service has shaped your perspective on humanity. Elaborate on how these experiences have influenced your future ambitions and career choice.

Why it was successful: Isabella Mendez-Figueroa shared an empowering story about her parents overcoming financial adversity so that she and her sister could be the first in their family to go to college. 

Giva Scholarship Essay by Joseph Lee

Essay prompt: Who is (or what makes) a good doctor?

Why it was successful: Joseph Lee offered a captivating , personal story that was essentially a list of things that make someone a good doctor without it feeling boring or calculated. 

New York University College of Arts and Science Scholarship by Ana

Award amount: $39,500 

Essay prompt: Explain something that made a big impact in your life.

Why it was successful: Ana discussed how early experiences w ith learning difficult things has contributed to her passion for teaching and supporting students. 

The Fund for Education Abroad Rainbow Scholarship Essay  by Steven Fisher

Award amount: $7,500

Essay prompt: The Fund for Education Abroad is committed to diversifying education abroad by providing funding to students who are typically under-represented in study abroad. Please describe how you and/or your plans for study abroad could be viewed as under-represented.

Why it was successful: Steven Fisher’s powerful essay   connected his realizations about his own sexual identity with embracing the beautiful diversity found all around the world. 

Women’s World Banking Founder’s Scholarship Essay by Rosaisha Ozoria

Essay prompt: Write about your hopes for the future of women and girls worldwide.

Why it was successful: Rosaisha Ozoria   focused on a very specific topic , financial literacy for Hispanic women, and emphasized its importance and relevance to her own life. 

The Millennium Gates Last Dollar Scholarship Essay by Famyrah Lafortune

Award amount: $3,500

Essay prompt: Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” —Nelson Mandela Describe a change you would like to make in the world. Tell us about how you would plan to make that change, and what obstacles you might encounter along the way.

Why it was successful: Famyrah Lafortune starts with a strong statement about ending racial inequality and then details the steps she’ll take to make it happen. 

Do you have any great scholarship essay examples? Share them below!

Plus, check out  the ultimate guide to college scholarships, want more suggestions be sure to subscribe to our newsletters ..

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60+ College Essay Prompts From Actual 2023-2024 Applications

Ideas to inspire every college applicant. Continue Reading

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The 2021-22 Common Application Essay Prompts

Tips and Guidance for the 7 Essay Options on the New Common Application

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For the 2021-22 application cycle, the Common Application  essay prompts remain unchanged from the 2020-21 cycle with the exception of an all new option #4. As in the past, with the inclusion of the popular "Topic of Your Choice" option, you have the opportunity to write about anything you want to share with the folks in the admissions office.

The current prompts are the result of much discussion and debate from the member institutions who use the Common Application. The essay length limit stands at 650 words (the minimum is 250 words), and students will need to choose from the seven options below. The essay prompts are designed to encourage reflection and introspection. The best essays focus on self-analysis, rather than spending a disproportionate amount of time merely describing a place or event. Analysis, not description, will reveal the critical thinking skills that are the hallmark of a promising college student. If your essay doesn't include some self-analysis, you haven't fully succeeded in responding to the prompt.

According to the folks at the Common Application , in the 2018-19 admissions cycle, Option #7 (topic of your choice) was the most popular and was used by 24.1% of applicants. The second most popular was Option #5 (discuss an accomplishment) with 23.7% of applicants. In third place was Option #2 on a setback or failure. 21.1% of applicants chose that option.

From the Admissions Desk

"While the transcript and grades will always be the most important piece in the review of an application, essays can help a student stand out. The stories and information shared in an essay are what the Admissions Officer will use to advocate for the student in the admissions committee."

–Valerie Marchand Welsh Director of College Counseling, The Baldwin School Former Associate Dean of Admissions, University of Pennsylvania

Always keep in mind why colleges are asking for an essay: they want to get to know you better. Nearly all selective colleges and universities (as well as many that aren't overly selective) have holistic admissions, and they consider many factors in addition to numerical measures such as grades and standardized test scores. Your essay is an important tool for presenting something you find important that may not come across elsewhere in your application. Make sure your essay presents you as the type of person a college will want to invite to join their community.

Below are the seven options with some general tips for each:

Option #1  

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

"Identity" is at the heart of this prompt. What is it that makes you you? The prompt gives you a lot of latitude for answering the question since you can write a story about your "background, identity, interest, or talent." Your "background" can be a broad environmental factor that contributed to your development such as growing up in a military family, living in an interesting place, or dealing with an unusual family situation. You could write about an event or series of events that had a profound impact on your identity. Your "interest" or "talent" could be a passion that has driven you to become the person you are today. However you approach the prompt, make sure you are inward looking and explain how and why  the story you tell is so meaningful. 

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #1
• Sample essay for option #1: "Handiwork" by Vanessa
• Sample essay for option #1: "My Dads" by Charlie
• Sample essay for option #1: "Give Goth a Chance"
• Sample essay for option #1: "Wallflower"

Option #2  

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

This prompt may seem to go against everything that you've learned on your path to college. It's far more comfortable in an application to celebrate successes and accomplishments than it is to discuss setbacks and failure. At the same time, you'll impress the college admissions folks greatly if you can show your ability to learn from your failures and mistakes. Be sure to devote significant space to the second half of the question—how did you learn and grow from the experience? Introspection and honesty are key with this prompt.

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #2
• Sample essay for option #2: "Striking Out" by Richard
• Sample essay for option #2: "Student Teacher" by Max

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Keep in mind how open-ended this prompt truly is. The "belief or idea" you explore could be your own, someone else's, or that of a group. The best essays will be honest as they explore the difficulty of working against the status quo or a firmly held belief. The answer to the final question about the "outcome" of your challenge need not be a success story. Sometimes in retrospection, we discover that the cost of an action was perhaps too great. However you approach this prompt, your essay needs to reveal one of your core personal values. If the belief you challenged doesn't give the admissions folks a window into your personality, then you haven't succeeded with this prompt.

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #3
• Sample essay for option #3: "Gym Class Hero" by Jennifer

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Here, again, the Common Application gives you a lot of options for approaching the question since it is entirely up to you to decide what the "something" and "someone" will be. This prompt was added to the Common Application in the 2021-22 admissions cycle in part because it gives students the opportunity to write something heartfelt and uplifting after all the challenges of the previous year. The best essays for this prompt show that you are a generous person who recognizes the contributions others have made to your personal journey. Unlike many essays that are all about "me, me, me," this essay shows your ability to appreciate others. This type of generosity is an important character trait that schools look for when inviting people to join their campus communities.

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #4

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

This question was reworded in 2017-18 admissions cycle, and the current language is a huge improvement. The prompt use to talk about transitioning from childhood to adulthood, but the new language about a "period of personal growth" is a much better articulation of how we actually learn and mature (no single event makes us adults). Maturity comes as the result of a long train of events and accomplishments (and failures). This prompt is an excellent choice if you want to explore a single event or achievement that marked a clear milestone in your personal development. Be careful to avoid the "hero" essay—admissions offices are often overrun with essays about the season-winning touchdown or brilliant performance in the school play (see the list of bad essay topics for more about this issue). These can certainly be fine topics for an essay, but make sure your essay is analyzing your personal growth process, not bragging about an accomplishment.

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #5
• Sample essay for option #5: "Buck Up" by Jill

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

This option was entirely new in 2017, and it's a wonderfully broad prompt. In essence, it's asking you to identify and discuss something that enthralls you. The question gives you an opportunity to identify something that kicks your brain into high gear, reflect on why it is so stimulating, and reveal your process for digging deeper into something that you are passionate about. Note that the central words here—"topic, idea, or concept"—all have rather academic connotations. While you may lose track of time when running or playing football, sports are probably not the best choice for this particular question.

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #6

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

The popular "topic of your choice" option had been removed from the Common Application between 2013 and 2016, but it returned again with the 2017-18 admissions cycle. Use this option if you have a story to share that doesn't quite fit into any of the options above. However, the first six topics are extremely broad with a lot of flexibility, so make sure your topic really can't be identified with one of them. Also, don't equate "topic of your choice" with a license to write a comedy routine or poem (you can submit such things via the "Additional Info" option). Essays written for this prompt still need to have substance and tell your reader something about you. Cleverness is fine, but don't be clever at the expense of meaningful content.

• See more Tips and Strategies for Essay Option #7
• Sample essay for option #7: "My Hero Harpo" by Alexis
• Sample essay for option #7: "Grandpa's Rubik's Cube"

Final Thoughts

Whichever prompt you chose, make sure you are looking inward. What do you value? What has made you grow as a person? What makes you the unique individual the admissions folks will want to invite to join their campus community? The best essays spend significant time with self-analysis rather than merely describing a place or event.

The folks at The Common Application have cast a wide net with these questions, and nearly anything you want to write about could fit under at least one of the options. If your essay could fit under more than one option, it really doesn't matter which one you choose. Many admissions officers, in fact, don't even look at which prompt you chose—they just want to see that you have written a good essay.

• Tips for Writing an Essay on an Event That Led to Personal Growth
• Tips for the Pre-2013 Personal Essay Options on the Common Application
• Common Application Essay Option 2 Tips: Learning from Failure
• Common Application Essay Option 3 Tips: Challenging a Belief
• Common Application Essay on a Meaningful Place
• 2020-21 Common Application Essay Option 4—Solving a Problem
• "Grandpa's Rubik's Cube"—Sample Common Application Essay, Option #4
• Common Application Essay, Option 1: Share Your Story
• 5 Tips for a College Admissions Essay on an Important Issue
• Tips for an Application Essay on a Significant Experience
• How to Ace Your University of Wisconsin Personal Statements
• Addressing Diversity in a College Application Essay
• Tips for the 8 University of California Personal Insight Questions
• The Length Requirements for the Common Application Essay in 2020-21
• Tips for Writing a Winning College Transfer Essay
• Private School Application Essay Tips

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Student Writing Samples and Analysis for Elementary, Middle School, and High School: Complete Collection

How do you bring objectivity to teaching writing? Authentic student writing samples from state writing assessments are an excellent tool that helps teachers bring objectivity to teaching writing. Of course, it sure helps if the writing samples are accompanied by objective analysis, scoring, and commentary. You will find all of that and more on this page!

Many teachers evaluate their students’ writing progress by examining what they can get their students to produce as an end result. They look at what they can get their students to produce in a lesson, and they place great importance on what they can get their students to produce to place on a bulletin board. Certainly, I care about those things, too. But I primarily measure my students’ writing progress by examining and monitoring their independent writing. It’s not about what I can get them to do—it’s about what they do when left to their own devices.

We have three types of independent student writing:

1.   daily writing across the curriculum 2.   state and district writing assessments 3.   independent writing assignments

My purpose here is not to discuss independent student writing, but instead to explain why the following collection of objective, authentic student writing samples are so valuable and helpful. Usually, when we see samples of student writing (other than our own students’ writing), they are polished examples, and we have no idea of what went into creating them. How much time? How many drafts? Who guided the piece of writing? How much guiding? What forms of guidance?

In contrast, we all know exactly how these state writing assessment samples were created; we all know the exact writing situation in which these pieces of writing were created; we all know that no teacher had any influence on any of these pieces of writing once the assignment was given. This writing is what students produced when given plenty of time and left to their own devices.

An Awesome Collection of Released Student-Writing Samples with Analysis and Commentary

I have always linked to valuable collections of resources that I have come across that can help teachers teach writing and achieve success on writing assessments. Here are two of the best:

1.  Released Writing Prompts for State Testing

2.  State Writing Assessment Tools and Resources : This page contains links to all of these valuable resources from many state writing assessments: 1) released writing prompts, 2) scoring rubrics, 3) anchor papers, scoring commentary, student writing samples, 4) teacher guides and/or test directions, 5) and more!

Below you will find another collection of valuable resources—a collection of released student writing samples. Since creating Pattern Based Writing: Quick & Easy Essay , I’ve interacted with teachers from all over the country—and even the world. A kind teacher up in Oregon who is using Pattern Based Writing: Quick & Easy Essay sent me these links. She is thrilled that the number of her students scoring high on the Oregon State Writing Assessment has doubled since she began using the program.

This collection of released student writing samples has five great qualities:

1.   It includes writing samples for grades 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10.

2.   It includes scoring analysis for every single essay in grades 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10.

3.   It includes writing samples for four important genres: 1) expository, 2) narrative: personal, 3) narrative: imaginative, and 4) persuasive (starts in grade 5).

4.   It includes writing samples for five scoring levels: 1) low, 2) medium-low, 3) medium, 4) medium-high, and 5) high.

5.   In total, the collection contains about 325 pages of released student writing samples and scoring analysis!

Here’s the Collection!

Please Note: I used to link to the scoring guide and rubrics, but the files seem to have been moved. Truthfully, they are not necessary at all. Furthermore, you will find links to many excellent Six-Trait rubrics here , including the original Six Traits rubric from Oregon (where it all began).

This collection scores papers using the Six Traits of Writing: 1) Ideas and Content, 2) Organization, 3) Voice, 4) Word Choice, 5) Sentence Fluency, and 6) Conventions. Since the rise of the Common Core, Oregon has used a couple of different scoring models that use different traits, including a few genre-specific traits. However, this collection of student writing samples remains one of the best available.

•  Grade 3 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

•  Grade 4 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

•  Grade 5 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

•  Grade 6 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

•  Grade 7 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

•  Grade 8 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

•  Grade 9 There aren’t any.

•  Grade 10 Student Writing Samples and Scoring Analysis

Common Core Update: 686 Pages of K-12 Common Core Student Writing Samples

Are you interested in 686 pages of K-12 Common Core student writing samples? If you are, be sure to download this awesome collection! To be honest, I was surprised when I clicked on the link and discovered this wonderful bounty.

•  In Common: Effective Writing for All Students Collection of All Student Work Samples, K-12

Are You Interested in Paragraphs?

Now that you have your student writing samples, I pose this question to you: Do you want to understand how the best writers and the lowest scoring writers created their paragraphs on those writing samples? If you do, be sure to read the following two resources. The above collection of student writing samples played a role in both of these:

1.  Paragraph Length: How the Best Student Writers Create Paragraphs on State Writing Assessments   2.  The Ten Stages of Paragraph and Multi-Paragraph Mastery eBook

How to Use These Student Writing Samples to Teach Writing

“Habit #2: Start with the end in mind.” Stephen R. Covey – The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Primary Purpose: The primary purpose of these student writing samples is to help teachers become experts in analyzing student writing. Furthermore, these student writing samples help teachers figure out how to begin with the end in mind. Teachers must begin with the end in mind if they want their students’ writing to end up where they want it to be.

Furthermore, teachers can use these student writing samples in the classroom to teach students about creating, analyzing, and evaluating writing. Here are ten ideas to get you started:

1.   Choose and print out a few essays and commentary that you want to focus on.

2.   Examine the essays and commentary. What are your students doing correctly? What are your students not doing correctly? What do your students need to learn? Read the commentary and make a list of skills that you want to teach your students. Plan out how you are going to teach those skills.

3.   Use a Six-Trait rubric go over a number of essays with your students. (You will find links to many different Six-Trait rubrics here .) Teach your students what scorers are looking for. What makes for a high scoring essay and what makes for a low scoring essay? What went right with the high-scoring essays? What went wrong with the low-scoring essays?

4.   Create or find a few student-friendly rubrics . Have students score at least a few essays using these rubrics. Make sure your students understand the rubrics, and if you have the time, you may want to have your students help create a simple rubric.

5.   Compare and contrast the genres. This activity is a great way to show students different types of writing and different styles. Play the game, “Name the Genre.” What are the qualities and characteristics of the writing genre that you see in the sample essays? How can you tell it is a particular type of writing? (Note: “Name the Genre” is also an effective strategy to use with writing prompts, and in particular, with released writing prompts .)

6.   Have students compare and contrast essays that have different scores. Have students compare and contrast essays with the same scores but from different grades levels.

7.   Use the low scores to show your students how good their writing is. Use the high scores to show your students where they need to improve.

8.   Have students edit or build upon one of the sample essays. Take one of the low scoring essays and have your students transform it into a high scoring essay. You can do this with each genre of writing. Help your students see the similarities and the differences across different types of writing.

9.   Demonstrate how neatness matters. Some of the sample essays are messy. Even a few high scoring ones are messy. Discuss how difficult it can be for scorers to fairly assess messy writing. Note: Students will often see messy writing on a decent paper and think that the paper is a low scoring paper. Explain that while rubrics do help prevent this rush to judgment, they do not eliminate it. This exercise also helps illustrate how important rubrics are, and how students must, in one sense, write for the rubric.

10.   Show your students how all of the important writing skills that you have been teaching them are found in the high-scoring papers and are missing from the low-scoring papers.

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Admissions Matters: The Essay

Editor's Note: I am most grateful to Kate Fisher, who is an expert in admissions essays with Noodle Pros , for explaining how to handle the inevitable essay portion of your child's private school admissions application. ~Rob

If your child is applying to a private middle school or high school, he or she will likely have to write an admissions essay. It is important to remember that this is not a college admissions essay, which means that the standards used to assess your child’s writing ability are lower. However, this also means that it’s much easier for admissions officers to quickly identify essays that a parent, teacher, or tutor has had too heavy a hand in.

It is extremely difficult to disguise adult involvement in an essay that is supposed to be written by a child applying to middle school or high school. You may feel uncomfortable allowing your child to submit his or her essay without reading it over. If you choose to help him or her by proofreading or editing it, remember to make sure the language, syntax, and sentence structure remain age-appropriate. No private school admissions officer expects a rising sixth grader to write as well as an award-winning novelist, let alone a college-educated adult.

The best way to ensure the success of your child’s admissions essay is to show how to choose the right essay. Most private schools ask applicants to choose one prompt from a list of several. Helping your child brainstorm which topic to write about is a great way for you to be involved without heavily editing or actually writing the essay. When helping your child select a prompt, try to gauge which topic appeals the most. If none of the topics spark excitement which happens more often than not, try to determine what kind of prompt will best help showcase your child's personality.

While the list of prompts is long, most fall under a few broader categories, which I have listed below with some prompts I have seen over the past few years.

Prompts encouraging writing about others.

Who do you admire? If you were to develop a Mount Rushmore of the 21st Century, which four individuals would be represented and why?

The world's governments have decided to put a permanently manned colony on Mars. You are part of the advisory committee planning the settlement. You may select four people to live in the colony. What characteristics or skills would you want them to have to be able to influence the new Martian society?

Tell us about a fictional character in literature, comic books, film or television that you admire. What are the traits that this individual exhibits that make them worthy of your admiration?

The first two prompts are easy to translate into a straightforward essay structure, i.e., introduction, body paragraphs for each of the four individuals, and conclusion. But neither offers the applicant the opportunity to reveal very much about him or herself. In fact, most students choose the same people - Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton appear on nine out of ten essays of this ilk that I have read - or people with similar roles - Steve Jobs and Bill Gates also show up on many essays with prompts like these.

While the fictional character prompt may seem fun, students often get distracted by providing context in terms of plot and don’t fully answer the question. Try to steer your child away from topics that encourage writing about other people.

Prompts which encourage writing about you.

What is the relationship between your life in school and your life outside of school?

Tell us about your best experience in school and your best experience out of school. What made each of them the best?

Of all of the things you are learning, what do you think will be the most useful when you are an adult?

What do you do in your extracurricular life that demonstrates a commitment to learning beyond the classroom?

These prompts all ask the applicant to relate his or her life in school to life outside of school. This allows the student to provide a more holistic view of who they are, not just in the classroom, but also in extracurricular pursuits. If your child knows what clubs or activities he or she wants to pursue in middle school or high school, topics in this category are a great choice.

Prompts requiring thoughtful, specific responses.

Who are you? You're writing the story of your life so far. What's the title? Why?

If your family had its own flag, what would be on it? If you had your own personal flag, would it be different from your family's flag? In what way?

Describe something you're hoping for, and discuss the obstacles or difficulties that must be overcome if this goal is to be achieved, either by you or by others.

Prompts like these can be a bit overwhelming for some students, and indeed for many adults given the almost existential quality of some of the questions in this category. It is difficult for a student applying to sixth grade to know what the title of the story of his or her life is so far. If your child chooses to write an essay on a prompt that describes who they are in the grand scheme of the world at large, make sure that the response stays specific rather than general.

Regardless of the topic your child chooses to write about, the essay is only one element of what is a highly-involved application replete with test scores, teacher recommendations, and on-site interviews. Try to present this writing assignment as a fun exercise which allows your child to showcase his or her personality, thereby standing out from the other applicants.

Click here for a complimentary consultation with Noodle Pro Kate Fisher.

Questions? Contact us on Twitter. @privateschoolreview

More Articles

How to Write an Awesome Private School Admission Essay

Sitting down to write the all-important private school admission essay — is there anything more stress-inducing than a blank document and a blinking cursor? 

Writing anything from scratch requires intensive energy, focus, and inspiration — and that pressure is heightened when the writing topic is turned inward. No wonder students (and parents) get overwhelmed when it’s time to complete the essay portion of a private school application!

Helping your child write their private school admission essay can be pretty nerve-wracking. However, it doesn’t have to be. 

The short essay questions included as part of most private school applications are meant to provide admissions professionals with a well-rounded picture of your child as a person and as a student. If written thoughtfully, this component of your child’s application can make them truly stand out. 

Below are our top tips for beating back writer’s block and crafting a private school admission essay that gets noticed. 

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Remember the essay audience.</span>

Although the essay is about your student, it’s FOR the private school admissions team. What will stand out to them? What will interest them? What will help them best understand your child and how they learn? Help your child craft an essay with these professionals in mind.

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Answer the essay question asked.</span>

This may seem obvious; however, it’s very easy to steer off course when you get into a writing groove. Help your child refer back to the question and any associated instructions while they write. Remind them to try to stick to the word count, and make sure to answer all parts of the question. 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Portray personality.</span>

Private schools are admitting people, not numbers. Their goal is to create a diverse, copasetic community in which students grow and are challenged. Your child’s answers shouldn’t be cookie-cutter. The best essay question answers will showcase a student’s personality, quirks and all. 

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Demonstrate passions. </span>  

Private schools are seeking students with different interests and passions. If your child has a unique interest or personal pursuit, the essay can be a great place to explain what it means to them and why it drives their creativity. 

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Provide a unique perspective. </span>  

Opinions are important. If your child believes in a cause or has a strong point-of-view on a topic, talk about why. By standing behind their convictions, your child will demonstrate their critical thinking and leadership capabilities. 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Paint a complete portrait. </span>   

Regardless of the essay question, you want your child’s essay to work seamlessly with the rest of their application and showcase them as a full, well-rounded student. If the application itself doesn’t allow you to bring your student’s true self to life, take that opportunity in the essay component.  

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Maintain proper essay structure. </span>  

Remember, the essay isn't solely an exercise to get to know your child; it's also an evaluation of their writing ability. Maintaining the proper essay structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion is essential.

Admission officers read a LOT of essays, so really work on hooking them with the intro. Have your child read feature magazine and news articles, as well as the opening paragraphs of books to see how professional authors engage their readers.

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Cut the clutter. </span>  

After your child writes their essay's first draft, make sure they spend time editing their ideas into a clear, concise answer. Help them proofread, check their grammar, and cut out any extra words or phrases that don’t support their answers. 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Get/offer feedback. </span>  

Once your child’s essay is complete, it’s perfectly acceptable for them to ask someone else to read it. As a parent, point out areas where they have opportunities to strengthen an idea or fix a mistake. However, resist the urge to rewrite the essay in your own words. Again, your child’s own perspective is what matters! 

While the questions asked on private school applications may change, these essay-writing tips will help ensure that whatever story your child tells resonates with your dream school’s admissions team. For more essay tips, read Encouraging Your Child to Write a Self-Revealing Application Essay .

Encouraging Your Child to Write a Self-Revealing Application Essay

How to make a great impression in private school interviews, recommendation letters: who should you ask — and how, first-choice letters: do they help or hurt admission, the final countdown to application deadlines, 11 parent statement tips for private school applications.

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The Character Skills Snapshot is an innovative measure of student preferences, attitudes, and beliefs, helping schools get to know who an applicant is rather than just what they know from grades and standardized tests—letting their uniqueness shine. Add the Snapshot to your student's application today to help them stand out.

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• Application for admission middle school

Application for admission middle school - Essay Example

• Subject: Other
• Type: Essay
• Level: High School
• Pages: 1 (250 words)
• Downloads: 3
• Author: friesenjason

Extract of sample "Application for admission middle school"

Module: Life being as tricky as it is requires one to be humble and to uphold good morals to gain personal respect (Richards and Fox 62). It is through upholding this that I emerge victorious in my endeavours. I personally like education and schooling due to the knowledge and exposure I am offered. I want to pursue my studies with dedication so as to become a medical doctor. The basis of this is to live a positive life by giving more than I receive through saving lives and helping people in general.

I am quite good in interpersonal skills, outgoing and focused, all of which have enabled me to scoop a number of awards in school. One is the Doing the Right Thing Award given after I fed a quadriplegic student every day during lunch hour for one year. The second is Student of the Month awarded to me by teachers for assisting fellow students to excel in their homework. The third is Team Spirit Award scooped for helping fellow students to perform to their full potential through my encouragement.

In addition to the above, I am a volunteer at the Humane Society and Food Panty and a member of my school’s Volunteering Committee. I am also an elected member of the Students Council and a teachers-elected Safety Patrol for 2 years. My teacher also has selected me to be helping young students in their performance during and after school. I believe that in Middle School I will offer these and more so as to improve the lives of others while excelling in my studies. Works cited Richards, Keith and Fox, James. Life. Little, Brown and Company, 2010.

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

• Writing a strong college admissions essay
• Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
• Brainstorming tips for your college essay
• How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
• Taking your college essay to the next level
• Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback

Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback

• Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
• Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
• Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
• Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
• Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem
• Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

Introduction

Sample essay 2, feedback from admissions.

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• Veterinary School

VMCAS Essay Examples

VMCAS essay examples are a great place to start when you're preparing to apply to veterinary school. After researching vet school rankings and looking into the best vet schools in your chosen area, you’ve finally decided on the schools you would like to apply to. One of the items you’ll need to include in your VMCAS application is a personal essay. We’re here to show you how to highlight your personal story and provide you with some VMCAS essay examples to make the process easier.

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free strategy call here . <<

Listen to the blog!

Article Contents 10 min read

Personal essay example 1.

I grew up in a family with no pets. An experimental goldfish or two, but there is no family dog I can look back on fondly. My parents were both immigrants who left their homes young and understandably focused on providing for their kids and ensuring we did well in school.

But like a lot of young kids, I developed a love and fascination for horses. My parents thought it was a phase, but when my requests for horseback riding lessons continued year after year, they finally relented and took me to a local farm for lessons. I remember my first connection with the pony. I felt like it could understand, hear, and accept me, without being able to say a word. That’s when I started to understand the relationship that people have with the animals in their lives, and I wanted nothing more than to experience it again.

Want to know how to answer the hardest MMI Questions? Watch this video:

Several years later, I jumped at the opportunity to help out at the riding camp during the summer break. I didn’t realize until then how different it is to participate in the care of the animals, instead of just passively riding them. Every chore was to make sure the horses were comfortable, healthy, and happy. I felt like they relied on me, and they, in turn, provided peace and enjoyment to the people around them.

Since then, I’ve volunteered at the Second Chances Animal Sanctuary for several years, developing and applying the knowledge I’ve gained from my biology and zoology classes. My proudest moments were when we were able to help a family’s beloved pony walk again after a leg fracture that might have otherwise resulted in euthanasia. Being able to give the family hope when they thought there was nothing we could do was amazing, and giving the animal a chance at a full life was incredibly fulfilling.

I developed a special interest in animal orthopedics while completing an internship at the Main Street Animal Hospital. What I want more than anything is to be a vet who works within the field of orthopedics for large animals, developing therapies and treatment programs to help regain mobility. These animals are often essential to rural businesses or farms and should get the care a partner deserves. The sense of responsibility I feel toward them and their quality of life continues to drive me to pursue the skills and knowledge I need to care for them as a practitioner of veterinary medicine.

My parents didn’t believe in going to conventional places when it came to vacations. They wanted to see places that were unusual and immerse themselves in everything the locals did while they were there.

This meant that my brother and I were regularly exposed to places that were very culturally different from ours, but also climates that were totally new to us. As I got older, what struck me wasn’t always the exotic animals and plants, but the relationship a lot of people had with wildlife, and how it was different from what I experienced at home. At home in the urban setting where I lived, “wildlife” was what got into your garbage if you didn’t secure the lid properly. It was what dug through your flower pots at night. But in a lot of countries I visited, wildlife was an inseparable part of everyday life, and vital to the local economies. The animals there were valued as pollinators, decomposers, and yes, food. It made me curious about how people could value and experience wildlife back in the city where I lived.

At the beginning of high school, a friend and I decided to volunteer at the city’s wildlife center. As untrained volunteers we would mostly be cleaning cages and measuring feed for the animals, but I had never been so excited. The vets and vet technicians were so dedicated and resourceful. They relied on local donations, and the center survived on a shoestring budget, but they made it work. To them, even the common sparrows deserved kindness and care. Witnessing that level of empathy from vets and vet techs is humbling and inspiring.

Since that experience, I’ve taken as many opportunities as possible to work with wildlife organizations as possible. I volunteered at a summer program that was specifically created to help and preserve local turtle species, treating and tracking injured animals to ensure their survival. I’ve also participated in local songbird data collection, aiding in gathering information about migration patterns and population decline.

What I want is to be one of those veterinarians who cares for animals that don’t have anyone to care for them, or are treated like nuisances. Dogs and cats are loved and cared for, but so many city-dwelling animals are displaced or trapped or impacted negatively by humans. Working at a wildlife organization has taught me to be creative and resourceful, making the most out of the materials and equipment we had. I want to show people that even the plainest city wildlife deserves respect and help when they need it.

The VMCAS essay is one of the application components required by the Veterinary Medical College Application Service when you use their process to apply to vet schools. This essay is intended to provide admissions committees with “a clear picture of who you are and, most importantly, why you want to pursue a career in veterinary medicine.” While they may have your credentials on paper through your vet school resume , they might not have a good idea of what your personality is like, or what your goals are. Even your veterinary school letters of recommendation only represent who you are through someone else’s eyes, not your own.

Different from your vet school letter of intent , which must make a clear connection between your background, training, areas of interest, and the objectives and mission of your chosen veterinary school program, the VMCAS essay is more personal. It’s your chance to show the admissions committee why you love veterinary medicine and why you think you will make a good veterinarian.

Requirements

The VMCAS essay or vet school personal statement can be a maximum of 3,000 characters (including spaces). This comes out to about one page of writing. It’s important to make sure your essay falls within the character count and contains all the listed requirements .

Note that the application site doesn’t have spell-check, and you can’t edit your work once you’ve submitted it. Making sure your punctuation and spelling is correct is the most basic way to show you’ve paid attention to the details in your essay. If you aren’t sure about a word or grammar choice, look it up so you know you’ve used it properly.

For help writing your essay, you could consider medical school personal statement editing services, which can easily be modified by an advisor to suit veterinary school requirements. Engaging an expert, such as those at BeMo Academic Consulting, is well worth it to improve your application documents and stand out from the crowd.

Is the VMCAS Essay Important?

The personal essay might not seem as formal or intensive as other parts of your application, but it’s still very important and can help or hurt your chances of being accepted into a program. A great essay showcases your personality traits, your sense of responsibility, as well as your motivations for going into veterinary medicine. A middling essay may be acceptable but fail to separate you from the pack, while a poor essay can show a want of attention to detail. One of the easiest ways to figure out what should be in yours is to look up VMCAS essay examples and see what you should aim for.

Want to learn more about vet school rankings? Check out this infographic:

What Should I Include in My Essay?

You may immediately think of a hundred things you want to tell the admissions committee, from your first pet hamster to your experience as an intern at the city zoo. However, keep in mind that you only have about 500 words, and you need to make them count. Here are some ideas of what you’ll want to include in your VMCAS essay.

• Career goals. Where do you ultimately want to be, and what is your dream job? Don’t just list a title – explain what appeals to you about it, or why you want this specific position over any others.
• What you want to contribute. You don’t need to make up a grand, world-altering contribution here, unless that is what you sincerely want to do. Your goal can be to simply bring joy and comfort to families by taking care of their pets. It can also be to make significant advancements to the field of veterinary science. Make sure you’re authentic.
• Characteristics that make you a good vet. Yes, you need good marks to get into vet school, but the admissions committee also wants to know that you have the right personality traits. For example, you may be a very motivated self-learner. This is a great attribute to have, but you need to highlight how being an excellent self-learner would help you in vet school and ultimately, as a vet.
• Always give examples. Remember that the committee doesn’t know you, so they will be wary of applicants who make claims without backing them up. It’s important to give examples so that the committee can see how you’ve used your skills and individual attributes in real-life situations: “show, don’t tell.” If you write that you’re an empathetic and caring person, write about a time when you demonstrated that empathy. This shows that you aren’t just listing what you think they want to hear.
• Set yourself apart. Any special experiences, personal revelations, or big life events that affected your desire to be in veterinary medicine are worth noting. You have a limited amount of space, so stick to the most important ones. These unique experiences are what will help the admissions committee remember you and set you apart from the crowd.

With only 500 or so words to make your case, what you don’t include can be just as vital as what you do include. The admissions committee likely doesn’t want an entire essay on your childhood pet, so be careful about getting stuck on one aspect. In fact, the VMCAS guide explains that while many applicants “have had meaningful experiences with animals or veterinarians as children … these should only be mentioned briefly.”

Here are some other things you’ll want to make sure you avoid when writing your VMCAS essay.

• Information they already have. At this point, the admissions committee already knows about your academic achievements. They may be familiar with the jobs you’ve had, based on your letter of intent or high school resume . They may have a list of any vet school extracurriculars in which you participated. In your essay, don’t repeat what they already know. Instead, tell them something they don’t have on paper, expand on one or two of those experiences, or explain how an event impacted your motivation to go into veterinary medicine.
• Vague, generalized information. Telling them that “you’ve always liked animals” is nice, but vague, and likely a trait that many applicants share. Make it more specific: What is it that draws you to animals? When, exactly, did you start taking a special interest in animals?
• Jargon, unless it’s necessary. The admissions committee is unfortunately not going to be impressed if you throw terms around or use 5-syllable words in every sentence. You aren’t a vet yet, and one of the more embarrassing things you can do is attempt to use a term and use it wrong. Stick with language that is used in everyday conversation.
• Make unnecessary explanations. The members of the admissions committee don’t need you to explain the process of getting into vet school or how medical procedures work. Explain something if it is very specific to you, like the type of club you were in at school, or an event that occurred in your year of study. Giving an example is a better way of showing the committee what you mean, instead of getting bogged down in explanations.
• Irrelevant things. If the event isn’t relevant to why you want to be a vet or what you are looking for in a school/program, you probably don’t need to write it here. Take note of the various parts of the application process that would allow you to go into more detail. For example, should you be invited to answer vet school interview questions , you will have such an opportunity. The “tell me about yourself” vet school interview question would be the perfect moment to discuss your personal background further. It’s a good idea to go back and examine each piece of information you’ve provided in your essay and make sure it ties into the main topic: why you want to have a career in veterinary medicine.

Language and Tone

Ideally, the tone in which you write your VMCAS essay is similar to the way you would talk with someone in person. Keep your word choice conversational. Writing in a way that is overly formal doesn’t give the admissions committee members a clear sense of your own voice, and doesn’t humanize you. You’re writing your story, so it helps to read the essay aloud and see if it sounds like an accurate representation of yourself. Having a friend or family member read it can also be beneficial.

Admission to vet school is challenging, as shown by veterinary school acceptance rates ; some schools are more difficult to get into than others. Applying is a long process with a lot of pieces to consider. Your VMCAS essay is perhaps one of the least restrictive parts, where you’re given the freedom to tell the admissions committee why you’re there and what you want to do. Being authentic and specific is your best approach to being accepted into the school of your choice.

It won’t make as much of an impact as your grades or your resume, but it can make you more memorable and more likeable to the committee members. An average essay likely won’t hurt you too much, but a bad one can.

The American Association of Veterinary Medical Colleges is a good place to start. There you’ll find all the pieces you’ll need to submit for the application as well as contacts if you need more help. You can also have a look at our list of the best vet schools, along with tips for getting in.

A letter of intent shows how serious you are about your application and emphasizes what sort of experience and education you have related to veterinary medicine. The personal essay is more about your personality, motivation, and goals.

You don’t need to list everything you’ve ever done that is related to the field. That is already outlined in other parts of the application. Highlight the personal impact certain experiences have had on you – be specific about how they made you feel, how they changed your perspective, and how they moved you in the direction of veterinary studies. 

Admissions committee members aren’t expecting fine literature when you submit your personal essay. They know that not all candidates are natural writers. What they’re interested in is your ability to express yourself in a short piece of writing. Don’t worry about using fancy terms – write in a way that sounds natural and authentic to you. 

The committee will want to know about your experiences if they’re specific to you and have impacted you in a tangible way. You don’t have to tell them about every interaction you’ve had with animals, just the ones that were special to you.

Use the language you would use in a normal conversation in your essay. Very few people speak in a formal tone, and it can end up sounding stilted and unnatural. Be expressive but stick to the requirements. 

There is no editing once your VMCAS essay has been submitted. However, if there is a serious mistake in the essay, you can contact the admissions committee and forward them a corrected copy as soon as possible. 

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• National Junior Honor Society Essay Examples and Guidelines
• February 8, 2022

The National Junior Honor Society (NHJS) awards students exceptional in their studies. It celebrates students who succeed in character, responsibility, academics, and devotion. This article on the National Junior Honor Society Essay Examples and Guidelines provides insights to inform the essay better.

The main objective of writing an NJHS Is proof that you are an ideal candidate and qualified to join this elite club. To get into the NJHS, you will have to satisfy all NJHS criteria. This includes having at least a 3.7 GPA or 4.3 QPA- this will put you in a better position to be considered. Other criteria include fulfilling membership qualifications like personality traits, experiences, or strategic vision.

I will provide insights in this article as to how you can create a distinctive and original write-up.

This will assist you in making yourself stand out as an extraordinary candidate and enable you to present yourself as a worthy candidate. You will discover tips for writing the National Junior Honor Society Essay and samples to help you write a better essay.

Watch Video: Tips To Writing National Junior Honor Society Essay

Sample essay for the National Juniors Honor Society.

It has always been my dream to become a member of the National Juniors Honor Society. Being chosen by my teachers and other leaders is an honour. The National Honor Society is an exceptional organization that allows students to help the needy, children, the elderly, and nonprofit organizations. I would be excited to join such a society because of the limitless opportunities it would present to me. Joining NHS would allow me to grow as a person and do as much as I can for others. In my years as a student, I have shown great examples of scholarship, leadership, character, and service that I believe would qualify me to join this prestigious society. I believe that I can become a valuable member of the NHS because I am hardworking, reliable and I possess all the qualities required by this prestigious organization, such as scholarship, leadership, character, and service abilities. My academic achievements result from my hard work and assurance that my membership in NHS is another step that will enable me to achieve success and cherish the chances of becoming a leader and thus a worthy role model for other people. By having a GPA of 3.91 and 3.92 in the 9th and 10th grades, respectively, I have proven to my teachers and myself that I can make my dreams come true. One of these dreams is to have the honour of being a part of NHS society. Also, while in high school, I have been taking all honours courses. Moreover, as an elementary student, I have participated in many academic competitions such as the Academic Challenge in 6th and 7th grade, where my team and I scored second and first places, respectively. Apart from studying with dedication and participating in competitions, I also play an active role in the school and since childhood, I developed my leadership and organizational skills through sports and had my school team win many competitions.  My school is one of the places where my leadership qualities are valued, as I often become the head of many activities, such as staging plays, organizing shows, and school trips with my teachers. Being a leader allows me to work in a team and consider my peers’ ideas to make our plans creative and enjoyable for everyone. I have learned to solve problems and conflicts thanks to this great experience of leadership, and I am always ready to assist my peers when it is needed. I spent the last summer working at a home for the elderly, where I was able to listen to life stories, participate in activities — be more specific, and learn about working in the healthcare field. Volunteering is a valuable experience that has helped me become a better person. I look forward to continuing my volunteer work in the medical field in the future. I consider myself to have a great character to join NHS. I embrace all ethnicities and celebrate the differences within everyone that ironically bring us closer. My traits help me to gain the trust and respect of my peers as they believe me to be a positive, open-minded, and reliable person.

Demonstrate your leadership abilities and passion for hard work

A truly great leader is made, not born. Good leaders develop through a never ending process of self-study, education, training, and experience. In order to inspire others to achieve a higher level in whatever they attempt, there are certain things you must know how to do effectively. These do not come naturally, but are acquired through continual hard work and devoted study. John Quincy Adams, the sixth president of the United States, believes that, to lead, a person must be able to enact the following: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more; you are a leader.” In the school and in the community, I inspire my peers to strive to achieve all of these actions; this illustrates how I have developed the qualities of a strong leader. Good leaders are constantly working and studying to improve their leadership skills, and in accordance with this statement I will always take the opportunity to lead. I have taken this opportunity during the Student Council organized cleaning of a stretch of highway, during the NIC-10 Council on leadership, and in the halls of Hononegah where a leader is often desperately needed. As a member of the junior’s Student Council, it is our responsibility to remove garbage from the side of the highway one time while the weather is favorable, so on a particularly warm day we did just that. However, as we prowled the side of the highway in search of garbage, the temperature began to rise dramatically. Nearly halfway down the stretch of highway, complaints began to fly from all directions as student council members felt the hot sun beating down on them. Almost immediately following the complaints, the idea of turning around and heading back to the cooling solace of our air conditioned cars surfaced. A few groups began to turn back, but as some of my group members began to turn I held them up. “Look guys, we’re more than halfway finished with this already, and I don’t know about all of you but I’m going all the way to the end,” I said as I walked past them and continued to collect trash from the ground. After moving a little ways down the road, I heard the crunch of gravel behind me getting louder and I looked up to see my original group plus a few extra people had come to help me finish the job. By refusing to give up on the task at hand, I motivated my peers to accomplish what we had set out to do, and I opened their eyes to the importance of never leaving something unfinished. In my opinion, a job should never be left half finished. In this situation, I inspired my fellow students to do more than they had the drive to do of their own accord. This is a characteristic of a leader, and a testimony to my leadership qualities. Earlier this school year, I was nominated to attend a meeting at Giovanni’s composed of 15 leaders selected from every school in the NIC-10 Conference. This meeting consisted of a brilliant speaker who not only explained in detail what about my personality made me more prone to holding a position of leadership, but also had us engage in team-building activities that required one person to take charge of the rest of the group and direct, or to share the leadership equally. This deviated depending on the activities, which varied from working one on one with another student to separate each other while each of us held one end of two strings that formed an X in between us (I hope this concept can be understood without a physical example), or simply having to build the tallest structure out of nothing but plastic straws, their wrappers, and two pieces of tape. My partner and I were successful in separating ourselves from one another, which many groups found “impossible”, and although my team did not build the highest structure we competed closely with the other groups and worked well together. This, I believe is one of the most important parts of being a leader; knowing when not to take command and boss your peers around, and when to allow your entire team, group, etc. to share the leadership in order to more effectively achieve a goal. Being a leader is important; however I find that my ability to be a part of a team is equally demonstrative of my leadership qualities More often than not, the true ability of a leader is seen not in his actions while holding an elected or nominated leadership position, but in his actions during normal, everyday interactions with his peers. In the halls of Hononegah and in the surrounding community, I refuse to tolerate deplorable actions, most commonly bullying. I will admit that to my knowledge Hononegah is a relatively safe place for its students and that I have never seen an exceedingly cruel, unnecessary case of bullying. Despite this, it is still important to stand up for those who may not have the courage or force of will to stand up for themselves. I do so whenever the opportunity presents itself, and am often the moral compass amongst my group of friends who from time to time find humor in cracking jokes at the expense of other. A true leader does not fall in line with his friends, especially when he believes what they are doing is wrong. As a leader I know that it is vital to stop them and say, “Guys, knock it off, that kid does not deserve to be picked on just because you don’t like (for example) the way he dresses.” I believe firmly that everyone is entitled to live their lives the way that they wish to, and in saying a simple statement like this you not only stand out amongst your friends, you also gain their respect. A true leader will drive people to become more, and over the years many of my friends have become much more benevolent people. I am very proud of this, and I believe that this is the single most important ethic to be held by a teenage leader. You mustn’t adopt your friends ways of thinking; by staying true to your values and being a leader in situations such as the one above, you will be respected as a friend and show your capability of leading, which I have done countless times throughout my high school career. In closing, I hope that my abilities as a leader have become apparent through my actions. A true leader will never leave a job half-finished, will realize when to step forward and lead or when to stand strong as a part of a team, and will stay true to his values and be a leader in morality as well as a leader in accomplishing a goal. I possess all of these qualities and will continue to exercise and expand upon them as I gain more significant leadership positions in life. I hope that you will strongly consider accepting me into the National Junior Honor Society, because I fit the criteria as an involved, intelligent, and more than capable leader. Thank you for the opportunity to have this application considered, and I hope that you find my qualifications satisfactory.

Demonstrate your academic prowess

National Junior Honor Society Application Essay When I first received the letter inviting me to apply to the National Junior Honor Society, my initial thoughts were of appreciation for the recognition of my hard work during this past academic year.  To think of myself as a member of the NJHS is an honor that could have a profound impact on my future. Over the past several years I have driven myself to become a much more motivated person.  Along with achieving a grade average of 4.0 or higher, I have also motivated myself to start running, which has helped me to have the self-confidence to take a more active leadership role in encouraging others to live a healthier lifestyle.  To be considered a member of this prestigious organization is both an honor and a challenge to continue to improve both my body and my mind as I embark upon the journey of a higher education. Being chosen as a candidate for membership of the NJHS has caused me to reflect on my personal achievements. With striving for academic excellence,  I have gained personality traits that will be fitting for a member of the NJHS. Intelligence is a common quality of members in the NJHS, but traits of my personality such as being amiable, sensible, and diligent are also valued characteristics.  Along with my personality, I will be contributing my talent as an athlete and my love for helping others. I have wanted to get more involved in my community.  I know that being a member of the NJHS will help me to contribute more in this area. I have learned that patience and perseverance are valued qualities in a leader.  Also, when time management between school, track, and other responsibilities that have weighed heavily on me I have been able to prioritize and do my best in everything I do. There are many ways one may contribute to their society. Some people may use their intelligence in order to advance society; some may lead the country to a better future; some may make the world a better place just by being in it; and some may volunteer their time to help others.  It is difficult to find one person who possesses and contributes all of these qualities, but I am sure that I do.  Because the standards for entrance into the National Junior Honor Society are scholarship, leadership, character, and service, I believe that I am more than qualified for entrance into an organization as prestigious as the National Junior Honor Society.  Throughout my years as a Wakeland Highschool student, I believe that I have demonstrated all of these attributes.

Tips for writing the NJHS essay

 plan your essay.

•  Discuss your academic achievements
•  Discuss your leadership abilities
•  Highlight valuable volunteering service

 Highlight your character

Proofread your essay.

To write a show-stopping essay, planning is essential. It would help if you brainstormed the fundamental ideas of your essay by thinking about what accomplishments will qualify you to meet the NJHS criteria.

After you have done this, ensure the organization and efficiency of your essay by sketching out the structure before your first draft. This will ensure that you cover all of the required areas quickly.

 Discuss your Academic Achievements

Next, you need to discuss your academic achievements. You can do this by listing your grade point average any awards you may have received, such as Honor roll, class rank, and any other achievements that reflect your scholarly achievements. This is very important because only students who have demonstrated academic excellence are offered NJHS membership. 

You also need to prove that you have also challenged yourself academically while attaining academic excellence. You can do this by listing honors, college prep, or advanced placement courses.

Discuss your leadership abilities

Here, it would help if you were perceived as someone who has excellent leadership potential and is involved in activities outside of the classroom. This will show that you are versatile and flexible. To do this, you need to list any leadership position you have held in extracurricular activities such as sports, debate, and the like

Highlight valuable volunteering service

These days, giving back to the community is very important. The NJHS also sees it as a significant feat. Highlighting your volunteer experience will put you in better standing with the NJHS. List all the service organizations you have been involved with and give details of your participation.

The NJHS seeks honest, reliable, cooperative, kind, and respectful students. You could share stories to fulfill this criterion but, you have to keep it precise and simple so as not to veer off course.

Consider sharing a story that shows off your strong character and ethical integrity. This will make you more eligible for membership.

Ensure that your application is error-free by checking for spelling and grammatical errors. You could have a copy editor look through your essay to ensure it is flawless. You should also make sure that your work adequately describes you too.

How do you write the National Honor Society Essay?

To ace the National Honor Society Essay, you need to understand the philosophy behind writing the essay. The structure of the NHJS essay comprises four pillars. They are; scholarship, leadership, service, and character. Then, it would help if you infused your personal story about your grants and scholarship achievements, included your non-academic achievements, and were sincere.

What is the Purpose of the National Junior Honor Society?

Since its inception in 1929, the purpose of the NJHS has aimed to elevate a school’s commitment to the values of scholarship, service, leadership, character, and citizenship.

What do I write in my National Junior Honor Society Essay?

To write the National Junior Honor Society essay, you need to consider your scholarship, character, leadership traits, character, and service to the community. These will guarantee that you meet the standard of the NJHS.

How long should a National Junior Honor Society essay be?

A 300 to a 500-word essay usually does the trick, as this will allow you to showcase your commitment to the pillars of NHJS, which are scholarship, leadership, character, and service to the community.

What is the difference between NHJS and NJS?

The National Junior Honor Society focuses more on the middle-level grades, while the NHS is a larger body that comprises the NJHS.

The NHS has been in existence for over 80 years now. It is known for adherence to its core values which, as discussed in the article, comprise scholarship, leadership abilities, character, and citizenship. To be a member of this elite society, you have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that you are a good fit, which can be shown in your essay. 

I hope the tips and guidelines in this article will help you gain membership to the National Junior Honor Society.

• NJHS Essay Examples

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• Knowledge Base
• College essay

Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary

Published on November 19, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

If you’re applying for college via the Common App , you’ll have to write an essay in response to one of seven prompts.

Table of contents

What is the common application essay, prompt 1: background, identity, interest, or talent, prompt 2: overcoming challenges, prompt 3: questioning a belief or idea, prompt 4: appreciating an influential person, prompt 5: transformative event, prompt 6: interest or hobby that inspires learning, prompt 7: free topic, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

The Common Application, or Common App , is a college application portal that is accepted by more than 900 schools.

Within the Common App is your main essay, a primary writing sample that all your prospective schools will read to evaluate your critical thinking skills and value as a student. Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs. Instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

Regardless of your prompt choice, admissions officers will look for an ability to clearly and creatively communicate your ideas based on the selected prompt.

We’ve provided seven essay examples, one for each of the Common App prompts. After each essay, we’ve provided a table with commentary on the essay’s narrative, writing style and tone, demonstrated traits, and self-reflection.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay explores the student’s emotional journey toward overcoming her father’s neglect through gymnastics discipline.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

When “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” began to play, it was my signal to lay out a winning floor routine. Round off. Back handspring. Double back layout. Stick!

Instead, I jolted off the floor, landing out of bounds. Over the past week, I hadn’t landed that pass once, and regionals were only seven days away. I heaved a heavy sigh and stomped over to the bench.

Coach Farkas saw my consternation. “Mona, get out of your head. You’re way too preoccupied with your tumbling passes. You could do them in your sleep!”

That was the problem. I was dreaming of tumbling and missing my landings, waking up in a cold sweat. The stress felt overwhelming.

“Stretch out. You’re done for tonight.”

I walked home from the gym that had been my second home since fourth grade. Yet my anxiety was increasing every time I practiced.

I startled my mom. “You’re home early! Wait! You walked? Mona, what’s going on?!”

I slumped down at the kitchen table. “Don’t know.”

She sat down across from me. “Does it have anything to do with your father texting you a couple of weeks ago about coming to see you at regionals?”

“So what?! Why does it matter anymore?” He walked out when I was 10 and never looked back. Still, dear ol’ Dad always had a way of resurfacing when I least expected him.

“It still matters because when you hear from him, you tend to crumble. Or have you not noticed?” She offered a knowing wink and a compassionate smile.

I started gymnastics right after Dad left. The coaches said I was a natural: short, muscular, and flexible. All I knew was that the more I improved, the more confident I felt. Gymnastics made me feel powerful, so I gave it my full energy and dedication.

The floor routine became my specialty, and my performances were soon elevating our team score. The mat, solid and stable, became a place to explore and express my internal struggles. Over the years, no matter how angry I felt, the floor mat was there to absorb my frustration.

The bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving because I knew I could fall. My performances in those events were respectable. But, the floor? Sometimes, I had wildly creative and beautiful routines, while other times were disastrous. Sadly, my floor routine had never been consistent.

That Saturday afternoon, I slipped into the empty gym and walked over to the mat. I sat down and touched its carpeted surface. After a few minutes, my cheeks were wet with the bitter disappointment of a dad who only showed up when it was convenient for him. I ruminated on the years of practices and meets where I had channeled my resentment into acrobatics and dance moves, resolved to rise higher than his indifference.

I saw then that my deepest wounds were inextricably entangled with my greatest passion. They needed to be permanently separated. While my anger had first served to launch me into gymnastics, before long, I had started serving my anger.

Anger is a cruel master. It corrupts everything it touches, even something as beautiful as a well-choreographed floor routine.

I changed my music days before regionals. “The Devil” no longer had a place in my routine. Instead, I chose an energetic cyberpunk soundtrack that inspired me to perform with passion and laser focus. Dad made an obligatory appearance at regionals, but he left before I could talk to him.

It didn’t matter this time. I stuck every landing in my routine. Anger no longer controlled me. I was finally free.

Word count: 601

This essay shows how the challenges the student faced in caring for her sister with autism resulted in an unexpected path forward in her education.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

I never had a choice.

My baby sister was born severely autistic, which meant that every detail of our home life was repeatedly adjusted to manage her condition. I couldn’t go to bed without fearing that Mindy would wake up screaming with that hoarse little voice of hers. I couldn’t have friends over on weekends because we never knew if our entire family would need to shift into crisis mode to help Mindy regain control.

We couldn’t take a family vacation because Mindy would start hitting us during a long car ride when she didn’t want to sit there anymore. We couldn’t even celebrate Christmas like a normal family because Mindy would shriek and run away when we tried to give her presents.

I was five years old when Mindy was born. For the first ten years, I did everything I could to help my mom with Mindy. But Mom was depressed and would often stare out the window, as if transfixed by the view. Dad was no help either. He used his job as an excuse to be away from home. So, I tried to make up for both of them and rescue Mindy however I could whenever she needed it.

However, one day, when I was slowly driving Mindy around with the windows down, trying to lull her into a calmer state, we passed two of my former classmates from middle school. They heard Mindy growling her disapproval as the ride was getting long for her. One of them turned to the other and announced, “Oh my God! Marabeth brought her pet monster out for a drive!” They laughed hysterically and ran down the street.

After that day, I defied my parents at every turn. I also ignored Mindy. I even stopped doing homework. I purposely “got in with the wrong crowd” and did whatever they did.

My high school counselor Ms. Martinez saw through it all. She knew my family’s situation well. It didn’t take her long to guess what had probably happened.

“Marabeth, I get it. My brother has Down syndrome. It was really hard growing up with him as a brother. The other kids were pretty mean about it, especially in high school.”

I doubted she understood. “Yeah. So?”

“I’m guessing something happened that hurt or embarrassed you.”

“I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how you must have felt.”

It must have been the way she said it because I suddenly found myself sobbing into my trembling, cupped hands.

Ms. Martinez and I met every Friday after that for the rest of the year. Her stories of how she struggled to embrace living with and loving her brother created a bridge to my pain and then my healing. She explained that her challenges led her to pursue a degree in counseling so that she could offer other people what no one had given her.

I thought that Mindy was the end of my life, but, because of Ms. Martinez’s example and kindness, I can now see that Mindy is a gift, pointing me toward my future.

Now, I’m applying to study psychology so that I can go on to earn my master’s degree in counseling. I’m learning to forgive my parents for their mistakes, and I’m back in Mindy’s life again, but this time as a sister, not a savior. My choice.

Word Count: 553

This essay illustrates a student’s courage in challenging his culture’s constructs of manhood and changing his course while positively affecting his father in the process.

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

“No son of mine is gonna march around a football field wearing tail feathers while all the real men are playing football!”

I took a step backward and tried not to appear as off-balance as I felt. In my excitement, I had blurted out more information than my father could handle:

“Dad! I made the marching band as a freshman! Nobody does that—I mean nobody!”

As soon as I had said it, I wished I could recall those words. How could I forget that 26 years earlier, he had been the starting wide receiver for the state-champion Tigers on the same field?!

Still, when I opened the email on that scorching hot August afternoon, I was thrilled that five months of practicing every possible major and harmonic minor scale—two octaves up and two octaves down—had made the difference. I had busted reed after reed, trying not to puff my cheeks while moving my fingers in a precise cadence.

I knew he had heard me continually practicing in my room, yet he seemed to ignore all the parts of me that were incongruous with his vision of manhood:

Ford F-150 4x4s. Pheasant hunting. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.

I never had to wonder what he valued. For years, I genuinely shared his interests. But, in the fall of eighth grade, I heard Kyle Wheeling play a saxophone solo during the homecoming marching band halftime show. My dad took me to every football game to teach me the plays, but that night, all I could think about was Kyle’s bluesy improv at halftime.

During Thanksgiving break, I got my mom to drive me into Omaha to rent my instrument at Dietze Music, and, soon after, I started private lessons with Mr. Ken. Before long, I was spending hours in my room, exploring each nuance of my shiny Yamaha alto sax, anticipating my audition for the Marching Tigers at the end of the spring semester.

During those months of practice, I realized that I couldn’t hide my newfound interest forever, especially not from the football players who were going to endlessly taunt me. But not all the guys played football. Some were in choir and theater. Quite a few guys were in the marching band. In fact, the Marching Tigers had won the grand prize in their division at last year’s state showdown in Lincoln.

I was excited! They were the champions, and I was about to become a part of their legacy.

Yet, that afternoon, a sense of anxiety brewed in my belly. I knew I had to talk to him.

He was sweeping the grass clippings off of the sidewalk. He nodded.

“I need to tell you something.”

He looked up.

“I know that you know about my sax because you hear me practicing. I like it a lot, and I’m becoming pretty good at it. I still care about what you like, but I’m starting to like some other things more. I hope you’ll be proud of me whatever I choose.”

He studied the cracks in the driveway. “I am proud of you. I just figured you’d play football.”

We never talked about it again, but that fall, he was in the stands when our marching band won the state championship in Lincoln for the second time. In fact, for the next four years, he never left the stands during halftime until the marching band had performed. He was even in the audience for every performance of “Our Town” at the end of my junior year. I played the Stage Manager who reveals the show’s theme: everything changes gradually.

I know it’s true. Things do change over time, even out here in central Nebraska. I know because I’ve changed, and my dad has changed, too. I just needed the courage to go first.

Word count: 626

The student demonstrates how his teacher giving him an unexpected bad grade was the catalyst for his becoming a better writer.

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

I stared in disbelief at the big red letter at the top of my paper: D. 

Never in my entire high school career had I seen that letter at the top of any paper, unless it was at the beginning of my first name. 

I had a 4.796 GPA. I had taken every pre-AP and AP course offered. My teachers had praised my writing skills! However, Mr. Trimble didn’t think so, and he let me know it:

“Darwin, in the future, I believe you can do better if you fully apply yourself.” 

I furiously scanned the paper for corrections. Not even one! Grammar and syntax? Perfect. Spelling? Impeccable. Sentence and paragraph structure? Precise and indisputable, as always. 

Was he trying to ruin my GPA? Cooper was clearly his favorite, and we were neck and neck for valedictorian, which was only one year away. Maybe they were conspiring to take me down. 

Thankfully, AP Composition was my last class. I fled the room and ran to my car. Defiant tears stained my cheeks as I screeched my tires and roared out of the parking lot. When I got home, I shoved in my AirPods, flopped on my bed, and buried my head under the pillow. 

I awoke to my sister, Daria, gently shaking my arm. “I know what happened, D. Trimble stopped me in the hall after school.”

“I’m sure he did. He’s trying to ruin my life.”

“That’s not what he told me. You should talk to him, D.”

The next day, although I tried to avoid Mr. Trimble at all costs, I almost tripped over him as I was coming out of the bathroom.

“Darwin, can we talk?” 

He walked me down the hall to his room. “Do you know that you’re one of the best writers I’ve ever had in AP Comp?” 

“Then why’d you do it?” 

“Because you’re better than you know, Darwin. You impress with your perfect presentations, and your teachers reward you with A’s and praise. I do frequent the teacher’s lounge, you know.” 

“So I know you’re not trying.”

I locked eyes with him and glared. 

“You’ve never had to try because you have a gift. And, in the midst of the acclaim, you’ve never pushed yourself to discover your true capabilities.”

“So you give me a D?!”

“It got your attention.”

“You’re not going to leave it, are you?”

“Oh, the D stands. You didn’t apply yourself. You’ll have to earn your way out with your other papers.” 

I gained a new understanding of the meaning of ambivalence. Part of me was furious at the injustice of the situation, but I also felt strangely challenged and intrigued. I joined a local writer’s co-op and studied K. M. Weiland’s artistic writing techniques. 

Multiple drafts, track changes, and constructive criticism became my new world. I stopped taking Mr. Trimble’s criticism personally and began to see it as a precious tool to bolster me, not break me down. 

Last week, the New York Public Library notified me that I was named one of five finalists for the Young Lions Fiction Award. They described my collection of short stories as “fresh, imaginative, and captivating.” 

I never thought I could be grateful for a D, but Mr. Trimble’s insightful courage was the catalyst that transformed my writing and my character. Just because other people applaud you for being the best doesn’t mean you’re doing your best . 

AP Composition is now recorded as an A on my high school transcript, and Cooper and I are still locked in a tight race for the finish line. But, thanks to Mr. Trimble, I have developed a different paradigm for evaluation: my best. And the more I apply myself, the better my best becomes. 

Word Count: 627

This student narrates how she initially went to church for a boy but instead ended up confronting her selfishness by helping others.

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Originally, I went to church not because I was searching for Jesus but because I liked a boy.

Isaac Ono wasn’t the most athletic boy in our class, nor was he the cutest. But I was amazed by his unusual kindness toward everyone. If someone was alone or left out, he’d walk up to them and say hello or invite them to hang out with him and his friends.

I started waking up at 7:30 a.m. every Sunday morning to attend Grace Hills Presbyterian, where Isaac’s father was the pastor. I would strategically sit in a pew not too close but close enough to Isaac that when the entire congregation was instructed to say “Peace be with you,” I could “happen” to shake Isaac’s hand and make small talk.

One service, as I was staring at the back of Isaac’s head, pondering what to say to him, my hearing suddenly tuned in to his father’s sermon.

“There’s no such thing as a good or bad person.”

My eyes snapped onto Pastor Marcus.

“I used to think I was a good person who came from a respectable family and did nice things. But people aren’t inherently good or bad. They just make good or bad choices.”

My mind raced through a mental checklist of whether my past actions fell mostly into the former or latter category.

“As it says in Deuteronomy 30:15, ‘I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.’ Follow in the footsteps of Jesus and do good.”

I glanced to my left and saw Margaret, underlining passages in her study Bible and taking copious notes.

Months earlier, I had befriended Margaret. We had fourth-period Spanish together but hadn’t interacted much. She was friends with Isaac, so I started hanging out with her to get closer to him. But eventually, the two of us were spending hours in the Starbucks parking lot having intense discussions about religion, boys, and our futures until we had to return home before curfew.

After hearing the pastor’s sermon, I realized that what I had admired about Isaac was also present in Margaret and other people at church: a welcoming spirit. I’m pretty sure Margaret knew of my ulterior motives for befriending her, but she never called me out on it.

After that day, I started paying more attention to Pastor Marcus’s sermons and less attention to Isaac. One year, our youth group served Christmas Eve dinner to the homeless and ate with them. I sat across from a woman named Lila who told me how child services had taken away her four-year-old daughter because of her financial and living situation.

A few days later, as I sat curled up reading the book of James, my heart suddenly felt heavy.

“If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”

I thought back to Pastor Marcus’s sermon on good and bad actions, Lila and her daughter, and the times I had passed people in need without even saying hello.

I decided to put my faith into action. The next week, I started volunteering at the front desk of a women’s shelter, helping women fill out forms or watching their kids while they talked with social workers.

From working for the past year at the women’s shelter, I now know I want to major in social work, caring for others instead of focusing on myself. I may not be a good person (or a bad one), but I can make good choices, helping others with every opportunity God gives me.

Word count: 622

This essay shows how a student’s natural affinity for solving a Rubik’s cube developed her self-understanding, academic achievement, and inspiration for her future career.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

The worst part about writing is putting down my Rubik’s cube so that I can use my hands to type. That’s usually the worst part of tackling my to-do list: setting aside my Rubik’s cube. My parents call it an obsession. But, for me, solving a Rubik’s cube challenges my brain as nothing else can.

It started on my ninth birthday. I invited three friends for a sleepover party, and I waited to open my presents right before bed. Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows flew through the air as I oohed and aahed over each delightful gift! However, it was the last gift—a 3 x 3 x 3 cube of little squares covered in red, green, blue, yellow, white, and orange—that intrigued me.

I was horrified when Bekka ripped it out of my hands and messed it all up! I had no idea how to make all the sides match again. I waited until my friends were fast asleep. Then, I grabbed that cube and studied it under my blanket with a flashlight, determined to figure out how to restore it to its former pristine state.

Within a few weeks, I had discovered the secret. To practice, I’d take my cube with me to recess and let the other kids time me while I solved it in front of them. The better I became, the more they gathered around. But I soon realized that their attention didn’t matter all that much. I loved solving cubes for hours wherever I was: at lunch, riding in the car, or alone in my room.

Cross. White corners. Middle-layer edges. Yellow cross. Sune and anitsune. 

The sequential algorithms became second nature, and with the assistance of a little black digital timer, I strove to solve the cube faster , each time attempting to beat my previous record. I watched speed solvers on YouTube, like Australia’s Feliks Zemdegs and Max Park from Massachusetts, but I wasn’t motivated to compete as they did. I watched their videos to learn how to improve my time. I liked finding new, more efficient ways of mastering the essential 78 separate cube-solving algorithms.

Now, I understand why my passion for my Rubik’s cube has never waned. Learning and applying the various algorithms soothes my brain and centers my emotions, especially when I feel overwhelmed from being around other people. Don’t get me wrong: I like other people—just in doses.

While some people get recharged by spending time with others, I can finally breathe when I’m alone with my cube. Our psychology teacher says the difference between an extrovert and an introvert is the situations that trigger their brains to produce dopamine. For me, it’s time away, alone, flipping through cube patterns to set a new personal best.

Sometimes, the world doesn’t cooperate with introverts, requiring them to interact with many people throughout the day. That’s why you’ll often find me in the stairwell or a library corner attempting to master another one of the 42 quintillion ways to solve a cube. My parents tease me that when I’ve “had enough” of anything, my fingers get a Rubik’s itch, and I suddenly disappear. I’m usually occupied for a while, but when I finally emerge, I feel centered, prepared to tackle my next task.

Secretly, I credit my cube with helping me earn top marks in AP Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. It’s also responsible for my interest in computer engineering. It seems I just can’t get enough of those algorithms, which is why I want to study the design and implementation of cybersecurity software—all thanks to my Rubik’s cube.

Just don’t tell my parents! It would ruin all the fun!

Word count: 607

In this free topic essay, the student uses a montage structure inspired by the TV show Iron Chef America to demonstrate his best leadership moments.

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition

The time has come to answer college’s most difficult question: Whose story shows glory?

This is … Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition!

Welcome to Kitchen Stadium! Today we have Chef Brett Lowell. Chef Brett will be put to the test to prove he has what it takes to attend university next fall.

And the secret ingredient is … leadership! He must include leadership in each of his dishes, which will later be evaluated by a panel of admissions judges.

So now, America, with a creative mind and empty paper, I say unto you in the words of my teacher: “Let’s write!”

Appetizer: My first leadership experience

A mountain of mismatched socks, wrinkled jeans, and my dad’s unironed dress shirts sat in front of me. Laundry was just one of many chores that welcomed me home once I returned from my after-school job at Baskin Robbins, a gig I had taken last year to help Dad pay the rent. A few years earlier, I wasn’t prepared to cook dinners, pay utility bills, or pick up and drop off my brothers. I thought those jobs were reserved for parents. However, when my father was working double shifts at the power plant and my mom was living in Tucson with her new husband, Bill, I stepped up and took care of the house and my two younger brothers.

Main course: My best leadership experience

Between waiting for the pasta water to boil and for the next laundry cycle to be finished, I squeezed in solving a few practice precalculus problems to prepare for the following week’s mathletics competition. I liked how the equations always had clear, clean answers, which calmed me among the mounting responsibilities of home life. After leading my team to the Minnesota State Finals for two years in a row, I was voted team captain. Although my home responsibilities often competed with my mathlete duties, I tried to be as productive as possible in my free time. On the bus ride home, I would often tackle 10 to 20 functions or budget the following week’s meals and corresponding grocery list. My junior year was rough, but both my home and my mathlete team needed me.

Dessert: My future leadership hopes 

The first thing I ever baked was a chocolate cake in middle school. This was around the time that Mom had just moved out and I was struggling with algebra. Troubles aside, one day my younger brother Simon needed a contribution for his school’s annual bake sale, and the PTA moms wouldn’t accept anything store-bought. So I carefully measured out the teaspoons and cups of various flours, powders, and oils, which resulted in a drooping, too-salty disaster.

Four years later, after a bakery’s worth of confections and many hours of study, I’ve perfected my German chocolate cake and am on my way to mastering Calculus AB. I’ve also thrown out the bitter-tasting parts of my past such as my resentment and anger toward my mom. I still miss having her at home, but whenever I have a baking question or want to update her on my mathlete team’s success, I call her or chat with her over text.

Whether in school or life, I see problems as opportunities, not obstacles, to find a better way to solve them more efficiently. I hope to continue improving my problem-solving skills next fall by majoring in mathematics and statistics.

Time’s up! 

We hope you’ve enjoyed this tasting of Chef Lowell’s leadership experiences. Next fall, tune in to see him craft new leadership adventures in college. He’s open to refining his technique and discovering new recipes.

Word count: 612

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.

Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.

No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.

To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:

• Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
• Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories

You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary. Scribbr. Retrieved April 2, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/common-app-examples/

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Last updated March 5, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant

Key Takeaway

If you’re applying to college, chances are you’re using the Common Application. And if you’re using the Common Application, then you’re definitely writing a Common Application essay.

But how do you write a Common App essay? More specifically, how do you write a good one that stands out to admissions officers? And hey—what does a good Common App essay even look like?

Ah, there it is. That last question is one nearly all students applying to college ask. That’s why example essays are so important. They help you sort through all the noise of the college admissions process to see exactly what a Common App essay can and should be.

We’ve compiled some of our favorite college essays for you to read. Even better, our team of former admissions officers has commented on and graded every single essay to guide you through what works (and doesn’t).

Let’s get to it.

The 2022-2023 Common Application Essay Prompts

First, we should start out by looking at the Common Application essay prompts. Sometimes the prompts change slightly from year to year, but they tend to remain fairly similar.

The Common App essay prompts are just that. Prompts. They prompt you to write an essay by giving you a place to start. They ask questions to help you reflect on important moments in your life. You only have to choose one prompt to answer.

Here they are, listed in the order provided by the Common App:

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
• The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
• Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

The prompts cover a range of topics that’s broad enough to let you write about just about anything.

But let us let you in on a little secret: how you answer the Common Application prompt matters less than the quality of the essay you write. After all, you can always choose the open-ended Prompt #7 option.

So our advice is to start with the essay and then choose a prompt to fit. Identifying a topic that resonates with you, regardless of the prompt, will produce the best essay possible. (And if you need some guidance about how to choose a Common App essay topic, check out our college essay writing guide .)

3 Tips for Writing Your Common Application Essay

Overall, your Common App essay should be the centerpiece of your college application. It should work to tie together your cohesive application narrative , and it should give admissions officers a genuine sense of who you are. Let's take a look at a few specific tips for writing a good Common App essay.

Write about a meaningful topic.

Think about the purpose of a Common App essay. It’s really your one chance to communicate directly with your admissions officers. Sure, your application has all your grades and classes and activities, but none of those things is actually you. The Common App essay exists so you can tell admissions officers information they can’t find anywhere else in your application. Think of it like a poetic introduction to who you are. Because you only have 650 words to make your impression, your essay should get straight to it. Choose a topic that reflects something deeply meaningful to who you are.

Write about a strength.

If your Common App essay is like an introduction, then you also want to make a good impression. That means that your essay should communicate one of your core strengths . Maybe you're the most compassionate person in the world. Maybe you’re so inventive that you can make anything out of a paperclip and a rock. Or maybe you’re so wise that everyone comes to you for advice. Whatever strength makes you who you are, let it shine through in your Common Application essay.

Pay attention to the structure of your essay.

As you’ll see in the “Bad” Common App Essay Examples section below, unorganized essays are hard to read. Admissions officers read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year, so they go through them fast. That means that your essay needs to grab their attention and easily guide them through your narrative. Try your best to organize your ideas in a way that logically draws your reader through the story you’re telling.

Now keep those tips in mind as we go through each of these example essays.

Best Common App Essay Examples

There’s no single correct way to write a Common App essay, but the best ones grab your attention and keep it. They raise interesting questions, stories, and solutions. Writers reflect meaningfully on important topics, and they do so with a kind of elegance that’s hard to pinpoint. Writers use specific details and examples to set the scene. The best essays have narratives cohere perfectly and guide readers seamlessly through the story at hand.

Reading outstanding Common App essays can help you know what to aim for. Not every winning Common App essay has to look like the ones in this section, but they’ll give you a place to get started.

In particular, take note of the admissions officers’ comments and begin thinking about how you can apply these lessons to your own Common App essay.

Example #1: Board Game Family

Common App Prompt #1

“Professor Plum in the kitchen with the candlestick!”(( Opening with dialogue can be a risky choice, especially if it distracts the reader instead of drawing them in. But this essay uses opening dialogue as an effective hook to compel the reader to read on.)) My sister triumphed. I begrudgingly set down my clue tracker and opened the CONFIDENTIAL envelope. Indeed, her theory was correct. The thing about growing up in a board game family is that you quickly learn how to be a sore loser. In my home, countless sibling wars have been waged over an unjust hand of Gin Rummy or an out-of-bounds toe in Twister. But what I lack in sibling sportsmanship I make up for in wits. Playing board games with my family has taught me that the key to winning any game is resilience, sound strategy, and a little bit of charm(( This introduction has some fun language. And with this sentence, the writer gets straight to the heart of their essay. )) .

Candy Land was my gateway game, and it remains one of my favorites to play with my younger siblings. The game itself is simple: pick a card and move to the corresponding color on the board. First one to King Candy’s Castle wins. But, like life, the journey to the castle is full of setbacks. One unlucky draw, and you’ll lose half your progress. Having made many journeys up Candy Mountain, I grew accustomed to these setbacks. As I entered high school, I began facing real-world roadblocks that threatened to send me ten steps backward. My family moved towns, and the transition proved difficult. I felt behind in the new curriculum and lonely at a new school. Establishing a Board Game club helped me find friends and start my journey back toward Candy Castle.

As I grew older, I gravitated toward more difficult games like Risk. Unlike Candy Land, Risk requires strategy. Sure, randomly conquering territories might get you somewhere, but I learned that the most successful crusades are those that feature careful planning. Risk takes up our entire kitchen table, and we’ll play for hours at a time. My brother and I like to establish secret ententes. With whispered asides and unnoticed bathroom breaks, we work together to ensure victory. And when something doesn’t go our way, we revise our strategy and prepare for the next round. Risk isn’t just about taking risks–it’s about learning when to act, what to do, and who to align yourself with. It’s a lesson that applies to life outside the kitchen table, too.

While I’ve learned from every game I’ve played, the most impactful has been Scrabble(( This excerpt shows great personality, reflection, and personal growth.)) . When I started studying for the SATs, my family took up Scrabble. At first, Scrabble almost broke us. Dictionaries were slammed shut, points miscalculated, and tiles mysteriously lost. But with each new game, the board set anew, we remembered our mission: to help me practice vocabulary. With this fresh perspective, we began to work together. Instead of playing to win, we played to challenge each other and ourselves. For every non-word word I put on the board, I had to plead my case. Arguments like “Ahot” is synonymous with cold because of the root “a,” meaning “without” and “Truc” is a fun French word that we should have anglicized a long time ago anyway earned me both eyerolls and points. The more charming I was, the more sound my defense became, and the more likely my family was to concede. Together, we made our own rules and unforgettable memories.

I’ve summited Candy Mountain thousands of times and founded more countries than I can count. Our Scrabble games don’t look like everyone else’s, but these moments around my kitchen table, filled with laughter and rivalries, white lies and trusted alliances, are ones I will always cherish. They have made me into the thoughtful and strategic person I am today. More importantly, they’ve taught me that there’s a lot to learn when you’re having fun(( The writer concludes with this intentional reflection that leaves no question in the reader’s mind about what the main takeaway from the essay should be.)) .

AO Notes on Board Game Family

This essay takes a fun topic, board games, and turns it into a fun college essay. Most importantly, the writer doesn’t spend too much time focusing on the games themselves. Instead, they use the games as a way to talk about themself. That’s the key in an essay like this.

Why this essay stands out:

• Humor: We get a strong sense of the writer’s personality through their humor. It’s okay to show some personality in your college essays!
• Meaning : Through each of these stories, we learn a lot about the writer’s family background. There’s a clear picture of what their home looked like growing up, so we can easily see how they developed into who they are today.
• Action steps: The writer doesn’t just describe fun family game nights. They explicitly connect these game nights to their determination as a player, sibling, and student. We see the steps they took to make new friends, win alongside their brother, and study for the SATs.

Example #2: The Bowl That Taught Me Not to Quit

Common App Prompt #2

The clay felt cold against my skin as my knees hugged the wheel for dear life(( With this opening, we jump right into the writer’s emotions. They don’t have to tell us explicitly what they’re feeling—we can feel that they are anxious from their description alone. It’s a wonderful example of “show, not tell.”)) . Don’t. Fall. Over. I begged the clay to stay put. In the back of my mind, I heard the instructor saying, “The clay will mirror what you do. If you are steady, the clay will be steady.” I planted my feet firmly on the floor and stared my bowl-to-be dead in the eye.

My journey as a ceramicist began as many journeys do: with a scolding from my mother. She said that I was wasting my summer. I needed a hobby. Flipping through the community center catalog, my gaze landed on Ceramics 101: Beginners. I decided to take on the wheel.

Soon, I was captivated. For the last three thousand years, ceramicists have been throwing clay to create pottery that is quicker to make and more reliable than hand-crafted pottery. This past summer, as I developed my pottery skills, I learned about more than clay. I learned about myself.

To start any project, there’s the matter of choosing which clay to use. When it came time for my first throw, I chose stoneware clay for its durability. I grabbed a slab, dabbed it with water, and tossed it on the wheel, just as the teacher had instructed. My foot gently pressed the wheel’s pedal, a vehicle for which I was certainly not licensed. Covered in wet clay, I pressed my hands against the slab, trying to shape it. But it wobbled(( And here we have the main conflict: things did not go as expected. As readers, we ask ourselves: what will the writer do now?)) . It spun completely out of control. I had clay in my hair and up my sleeves. My project, it seemed, was already ruined.

While I didn’t expect to be a ceramics savant, I did expect to make it through the first class without a mud bath. I felt like a failure as I watched all the other students, whose clay was taking shape on gracefully spinning wheels. I was embarrassed. I wanted to quit. And I was used to quitting, having never been able to hold down an extracurricular activity throughout high school(( With this simple sentence, we learn that the writer has struggled with overcoming challenges in the past. )) . Cutting my losses would be quicker than cleaning the clay from my clothes, so I began to wipe off my hands and pack up my things. The instructor approached me, explaining that what had just happened was perfectly normal. She urged me to try again. I didn’t want to, but her presence made me stay.

For the rest of the class, the instructor hovered by my wheel. She was ready to lend a hand when necessary. She was my safety net, and I felt more confident to continue. I squeezed my clay out and down with the care of a first-time mom. It began to look more like a bowl and less like a mound of dirt. As I watched the bowl come into being, I felt tears prick my eyes. I felt silly for crying at something so simple, but it wasn’t so simple after all. A bowl materialized from my bare hands, all because I didn’t quit.

Quitting(( This paragraph has wonderful reflection.)) is easy, and I’ve taken the easy road more times than I can count. But it ended the day of that ceramics class. If you leave clay untended, it will dry out and become useless. Before ceramics, I hadn’t been tending to myself. I grew dry, cracking under the weight of any external pressures. But my teacher taught me that a little more persistence, time, and effort can yield something beautiful and useful.

When my bowl was done, I carried it to the shelf to be fired. The instructor explained that she’d put our projects in the kiln, and we could pick them up at our next class. I returned the following week and saw my bowl sitting on my wheel. It was imperfect but sturdy, messy yet intricate. It was exactly right. I set it aside and grabbed another block of clay, foot hovering over the pedal(( This conclusion ties up the essay with a bow. It calls back to the beginning and emphasizes that the writer will keep overcoming whatever obstacles arise.)) .

AO Notes on The Bowl that Taught Me Not to Quit

In this essay, the writer goes on a journey learning to do ceramics. We see that they experience failure but can learn from it. Their strengths of creativity and resilience shine through.

• Positive spin: Writing college essays about challenges is difficult because it’s easy to get wrapped up in hardship. But this essay does a great job moving on from the failure and focusing on the lessons learned.
• Explaining an underwhelming resume: It happens so quickly that you might miss it if you blink, but this writer very subtly explains why they don’t have many resume items . Accounting for an insufficient resume in this way comes across as taking responsibility rather than making excuses. We also see that the writer has learned from these challenges and is moving forward in a new direction.

Example #3: ENFP

Common App Prompt #6

“You know how whenever you want to plan out your weekend there are too many fun things to do and too many people to do them with? And how it’s impossible to commit to doing anything next Saturday, let alone next month? What if something even more exciting comes up? Ugh!”

“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. That sounds stressful.”

My friend’s response confused me.

“Stressful!? It’s fun! And stressful. But mostly fun.”

We’ve all had realizations that remind us we are not the same as the people around us(( After that fun introduction, this sentence brings our attention directly to the main point of the essay.)) . Our brains and our tendencies are ours, and they aren’t necessarily shared by others–even close friends and family.

This conversation was one of those times. I was a sophomore and truly did not consider that my peers would follow routines, carefully planning out their weekends while I relied on vibes, group texts, and parental reminders of homework to get me through. Every day is a new experience and I wake up energized for the excitement of a new beginning. Fun, right?

Apparently, some people find my way stressful.

The first week of junior year, my English teacher surprised us with a test. Not an academic one–she administered the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I didn’t know what that meant, but she explained it was a personality assessment. Then she looked directly at me and pointed.

“YOU! YOU are an ENFP!”

I’d been called a lot of things, but this was a new one. She was absolutely certain that this string of meaningless letters described me. As if anyone could possibly define me!

Sure enough, I took the assessment and got my results. E-N-F-P. Extraverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving. I learned that each variable was one of two possibilities that describe people’s preferences about how they interact with their external and internal world. Each person exists on a spectrum between each set of variables.

I was pretty extreme on all four. Suddenly, I understood why people said I had a “big personality”.

This was just the start of my journey into psychology to better understand myself and others(( This paragraph ties together the personality test story with the writer’s personal journey of seeing the world through new perspectives.)) . I knew I was an extrovert–that was the easy one. But now I felt like I had language to explain why my arguments in debate were naturally grounded in emotion (common for Feeling types) rather than the data of a Thinker. I understood why my Judgment (J, rather than P) friends couldn’t stand my inability to commit to a plan. I needed to Perceive all of my options before committing to just one of them.

I delved into writers, psychologists, and researchers like Adam Grant, Dan Pink, Malcolm Gladwell, and Gretchen Rubin. I even embraced my own (very ENFP) preference to listen to their audiobooks rather than read in quiet solitude. I listen to books with one ear bud in while walking around my small town. That way I can learn while staying open to meeting a new friend, stopping by a shop, or petting a cute dog.

My INTJ friend didn’t understand how I could listen to a book while actively striking up conversations with strangers. To each their own.

Part of learning about myself was understanding that I love to learn about how people think and form habits. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. That is true for planning a weekend, maintaining relationships, or even writing a college essay.

I want to study psychology (and about 100 other subjects) and create a career where I can help people understand themselves and build positive habits around who they are(( I like how the writer connects these relations to their academic and career goals.)) , rather than try to change themselves to fit the expectations of others. Sure, maybe that will lead me to become a psychologist. But I think teachers, doctors, writers, and business leaders have an opportunity to do this as well.

All I know for sure is that, just like each new day, college is the next adventure. I’m excited to see what happens.

AO Notes on ENFP

Most of us know about personality tests, but this writer is able to make the topic a deeply personal one. We learn about their personality and habits. We learn about how they interact with others. Overall, the topic really helps us see the world from their perspective.

• Creative topic: The topic itself isn’t one an admissions officer will see every day. But it’s not so out-there that it comes across as hokey.
• Perspective: Admissions officers appreciate when students can see the world from perspectives other than their own. This writer shows a lot of maturity when explaining how their personality test sparked a realization that they don’t see the world the same way their friends do.
• Connections to future goals: The writer doesn’t just present the topic without speaking to its greater meaning. They show that personality tests are meaningful to them because they are related to an academic interest in psychology.

Example #4: Warhammer 40k Miniatures

Carefully(( This introduction has great vivid language.)) dipping the microscopic end of my horse hair brush into the pot of citadel paint, I can feel my excitement building. Gunmetal grey—my favorite primer color. Next comes the white and gold highlights that edge the armor. I'm about to bring one of my favorite Orcs to life, adding tactful details and shading to his green skin and menacing scowl. This is my passion, my obsession: painting Warhammer 40k miniatures.

Now, I’m well aware of the reputation Warhammer has—nerdy. As a tabletop miniature war game set in a dystopian future(( The writer subtly explains this hobby just in case admissions officers aren’t familiar with it.)) , players collect and paint miniatures to represent their armies. They then battle it out on a tabletop strewn with miniature trees, structures, and other terrains. I've been a fan of the game for years, but it's the painting that I love most. There’s something about taking a tiny, unpainted model and turning it into a work of art that I find incredibly satisfying. Nerd, guilty as charged.

I've always been drawn to the Orcs in particular, with their sheer strength and ferocity. But lately, I've been getting more into the Necrons, these ancient, robotic warriors that have been resurrected after millions of years of dormancy. And let's not forget the noble Tau, with their advanced technology and futuristic design. The story of each people goes deep, too. There are dozens of books written about the broader universe of Warhammer—a shared world that spans tens of thousands of years of lore. I’ve read almost every one of them. No matter the character I’m painting, no matter the story they’ll take place in, I watch in awe as each brushstroke brings the character to life in front of my eyes.

As my obsession with miniature painting has grown, I've started entering painting competitions(( This detail shows the magnitude and impact of the activity.)) . It's nerve-wracking showing off my work to a panel of judges, but it's also incredibly rewarding when they appreciate my hard work. I’ve received accolades and even small prizes for my artistry. After every competition, I choose my favorite miniature to display on a shelf in my room. I still have some of the earliest miniatures on my shelf, looking a little rough around the edges but still serving as a reminder of where I started.

But painting miniatures isn't just a hobby for me; it's also been a gateway for other forms of art. I've started dabbling in oil painting, using the same attention to detail and skillful brushwork that I use on my miniatures. While making the transition to a new medium has been challenging, I’ve slowly I’ve built a small collection of paintings. Some of them are as epic as my miniatures—depictions of battles and important moments from the 40k universe. But others are more tranquil, like a recent landscape I painted for my mom’s birthday of the stream behind our house(( We also learn how the writer’s obsession has expanded to other areas of their life. I like this detail because it’s an endearing story of the writer making art for their mom.)) . Becoming more dynamic with my art has made me a better artist, which has in turn made my miniatures even more lifelike.

Warhammer has been the biggest portal into a world of imagination and creativity. But it’s also unlocked my belief in myself as someone capable of succeeding in art(( And here it is—a central point of the essay. Painting these miniatures isn’t just about the miniatures. It’s also about the writer’s growth as an artist.)) . I’ve transcended the level of hobbyist and, over the years I’ve been painting, I’ve learned to call myself an artist. That title is a lot to carry, but it’s one that I can’t wait to continue growing into, figure by figure, painting by painting. And I can’t wait to bring the world of 40k to my dorm—sharing the universe with my friends and classmates. You’ll know where to find me. Just look for the nerdy artist with the dense wooden play table, toting around an army of skeletal warriors and hulking orcs. I can’t wait to share my world with you.

AO Notes on Warhammer 40k Miniatures

This essay is a great example of how to write about a hobby in a college essay. Notice how the writer explains their hobby in vivid detail, but the core of the essay is still about the writer themself.

• Vivid details: Personal statements can be wonderful exercises in creative writing. While that can be difficult for some students, this writer did it exactly right.
• Narrative structure: The writer seamlessly transitions readers between each paragraph. They slowly reveal how their journey has progressed. And, most importantly, they incorporate loads of good reflection.
• Personal meaning: It’s clear that Warhammer itself is meaningful to the writer. But I also like how they draw the focus inward to discuss how painting miniatures “unlocked” a belief in themself.

Example #5: The Band

Common App Prompt #5

I always imagined my band’s first show would take place on a stage. Maybe not in front of a packed amphitheater, but a stage. One with lights, a sound system, a curtain behind it, and some mixture of friends, family, and strangers ready to hear us play.

But there I was, holding a guitar in the women’s section of JC Penney at the mall(( This sentence is so unexpected that it’s sure to make most admissions officers stop, do a double take, and chuckle.)) . We fumbled through a cover of “Mr. Brightside” while middle-aged women shopped for sundresses.

Not exactly what I had in mind.

Our drummer’s mom managed the shoe section at JC Penney and said her boss wanted a creative way to get younger people excited about shopping there. She suggested that her son’s band would be perfect for this opportunity. They paid us in pizza and asked us to perform for two hours–a tall order for four high school sophomores who knew about five and a half songs.

It wasn’t evident to us that we would learn anything from our musical endeavors, or that our music would take us beyond the local mall. I’ve always known writing and performing pop-rock songs isn’t a likely career path. But a recent late night conversation with my bandmates-turned-best-friends showed us all how much we have grown and learned through music(( This reflection is great.)) . What started as a way to spend time with friends on a hobby turned into an accidental entrepreneurial venture and surprisingly poignant lessons.

For one thing, writing music with others is hard. Getting four new musicians to agree on everything from tempo to lyrics to how many verses each song should have isn’t easy. We figured it out as we went along, fueled by copious amounts of Mountain Dew and Bagel Bites.

We eventually created a system where each member learned the lyrics to each song and at least one other person’s part. Sharing original lyrics–poetry–between friends is uncomfortable. But we became more cohesive once everyone was on the same page with the story we were telling. When the bass player, who can’t play drums, learned just enough to understand that the kick drum hits on beats 1 and 3 and the snare on the 2 and 4, our rhythm section began to play more in sync. Once our drummer got over his fear of singing, we were able to incorporate simple harmonies, which led to him improving our lyrics.

Most surprising was making money and feeling like we were running a small (very small) business(( By expanding the focus to talk about music as a business venture, the writer also shows the extent of their activity’s impact.)) . Our second show after the infamous JC Penney incident was a battle of the bands at the public pool that June. We placed fourth–no prize. By August, we played another battle of the bands and won first place, largely thanks to our efforts to publicize the event to everyone in our network (some might call it begging our friends to come). To our surprise, we won $800 on one of those comically large checks.

We decided to allocate some of the money to equipment we needed–cables, cymbal stands, and more Bagel Bites–and put the rest towards professional recording. The process of contacting local studios, negotiating rates, and working with professionals in the industry was completely new to all of us.

A year before, we thought agreeing on lyrics was tough. But the sonic experience of hearing your own music back and agreeing on the tone and effects of every instrument can bring out differences you didn’t know existed. I’d read about arguments between bands from the Beatles to Kings of Leon, and now the four of us had to work out our differences together in real time. Thankfully, we navigated that challenge without losing our sanity for more than a few brief moments.

I am grateful for the lessons we have learned over the past three years(( And with this conclusion, the writer really drives home the essay’s main theme.)) . Not only do we have music and memories to show for our efforts, but we have all learned about creative collaboration, budgeting, and marketing our art.

AO Notes on The Band

This essay makes me want to sing! It’s full of personality, but it still manages to be vulnerable and reflective. By the conclusion , we really see what the writer has learned from being in a band.

• Humor: The writer immediately draws us in with an introduction that is funny, surprising, and full of personality. The introduction alone makes me want to keep reading. And right as we’re through the introduction, the writer drives home their main point: they learned a lot through music. Then, to our delight, the humor continues throughout. It’s subtle enough to keep our attention and not be overwhelming or inauthentic.
• Strengths: I can see that the writer is very collaborative and entrepreneurial. I also like how they give insight into their relationship with their friends and bandmates—we learn a lot about them through their interactions with others.
• Accomplishments: This essay is a solid example of how to write about accomplishments in a personal and meaningful way. The writer could have just opened with the accomplishments, but that wouldn’t have been very interesting or vulnerable. By nesting those accomplishments within a broader story about music, the writer is able to convey greater meaning.

Good Common App Essay Examples

If you’re feeling intimated by all the outstanding essays you’ve seen online, fear not. You don’t have to have a Pulitzer to get into college.

What you do need is a good, meaningful essay, even if it’s not perfect. The essays in this section represent what the majority of Common App essays look like. They aren’t necessarily perfect, but they’re written strategically and with verve. You can tell that their writers genuinely care about the essay they’ve been tasked with.

Putting in a similar effort with your own Common App essay will get you far. Let’s take a look.

Example #6: Herb

I stood in the dimly lit garage, staring at the child-sized pile of metal and wires in front of me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. This was our creation(( This introduction reveals the product of the journey the writer is about to go on: building a robot.)) , a robot that my father and I had spent months designing and building with meticulous care.

It all started on a slow Sunday afternoon, when my dad suggested we take on a new project. He wanted to build a robot. At first, I was hesitant. I was skeptical that we had the know-how to even construct the body of the robot, much less one that actually worked. But my dad, a tinkerer and inventor, was determined to try. So we got everything set up in the garage and got to work. As it turns out, building a robot wouldn’t just improve our technical abilities. It would bring us closer together along the way.

Before this project, my dad and I tended to argue and disagree(( I appreciate this clear transition and description of the “before” state that the writer and their father are growing from.)) . But in the garage with our robot materials, we were both so invested in building the robot that we collaborated perfectly. We bounced ideas off each other, read books and online forums, and even got advice from friends who were more experienced in robotics. For what seemed like the first time, my dad thought of me as an equal. Usually I was just there to hand him wrenches and screwdrivers as he worked on his latest creation. This time was different. We were a team. And with each passing day, our robot began to come alive.

We spent months in the garage, building and troubleshooting. My dad worked on the mechanics. He carefully assembled the joints and servos that would give the robot its movement. While he did that, I focused on the design. I drew mock-ups on my iPad and researched different exterior materials to use. I clumsily constructed our prototypes before my dad helped me put all the pieces together.

The final result was a beautiful machine. It was almost four feet tall and towered over our family dog. And it actually worked. The exterior gleamed—the sensors we used added visual flair and extreme function. But the most impressive aspect of our robot was its artificial intelligence system, which we had spent weeks programming and refining together. It was still fairly rudimentary as far as robots go, but we were proud of such a major accomplishment.

We decided to name our creation Herb, after my father’s beloved herb garden. We liked the irony of mixing a machine with a garden. He was perfect.

After working on him for months, it was time to enter Herb into a local show for machine enthusiasts. Our entry was accepted(( This detail also shows the magnitude of their accomplishment.)) . The show will take place next spring, so my dad and I are polishing Herb’s exterior, tweaking bugs that arise in his artificial intelligence, and preparing him for his out-of-garage debut.

While I’m proud that we will finally get to show Herb off to the world, what I’m more proud of is how far my father and I have come. Working on Herb brought us closer together, and the process helped my dad see me as a fellow tinkerer and inventor rather than just an assistant. In our garage, as we constructed something entirely un-human, we found the human in ourselves. Our father-son love came to life through a robot. I wouldn’t trade it for anything(( I really like this poetic conclusion that neatly ties together the essay’s theme.)) .

AO Notes on Herb:

This essay is an endearing story about how the writer’s relationship with their father improved while working on a robot together. We learn a lot about the student and their interests as we accompany them on this journey.

What makes this essay good:

• Organization: There’s some back and forth with narrative and reflection in this essay that gives it a pretty complex structure. But the writer does an awesome job keeping readers on track by using very clear signposting. Phrases like “before this project” and “after working on him for months” help readers navigate the complexity.
• Reflection: The writer incorporates great reflection throughout. The third paragraph shows us the “before state” that the writer is growing from, and by the end of the essay, we really see where they’ve ended up mentally, emotionally, and personally.

What the writer could do to level up:

• More focus on the writer : While this essay isn’t too bad about this, there is some room for improvement. The main descriptive parts of the essay all focus on the robot. We do learn about the writer and their goals through these descriptions. But the essay is approaching being too much about the robot and not enough about the writer.

Example #7: Laughter & Acceptance

"Why was the transgender person so bad at math? Because they always had to trans-late equations!"

Okay, okay, that was a terrible joke. But let me tell you, finding self-acceptance as a transgender person ain't no joke. It's a struggle, a battle, a war. But it's a war that can be won, and I'm here to tell you how(( From the start, we get a clear sense of the writer’s personality. This sentence also tells us exactly what the essay is about.)) .

I grew up in a world that told me being trans was wrong, that it was something to be ashamed of. And I believed it. I tried to hide who I was, to pretend like I was someone else. But it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just didn't work.

But then something happened. I don't know what it was—maybe a shift in the universe, maybe a sign from God. But something changed, and I realized that I couldn't keep living a lie. I had to be true to myself, regardless of what misery and consequences that might bring down around my head.

After telling my younger sister, who cried tears of joy and support, bless her, I decided to come out to the rest of my family. Let me tell you, it was not pretty. They didn't understand what I meant. They told me I was going to hell, that I was a disgrace to our family. And it hurt, oh man it hurt. But through the pain I saw a glimmer of something—was that hope?(( The writer does an excellent job reflecting and taking the “more phoenix, less ashes” approach.)) For the first time, I was being honest with myself and with the world. The whips and lashes of my parents’ words were more painful than I could have anticipated, but I left the room with my head held up and a barely-perceptible feeling of lightness around my shoulders.

And that's when the real work began. See, coming out is one thing, but accepting yourself is another. It's not easy, trust me. It's like trying to walk on a tightrope, one wrong step and you're a gonner. But I didn't give up, I kept going.

And you know what? It started to get easier. I started to find people who accepted me for who I was, who supported me and loved me. I started to feel confident in my own skin. And it was a good feeling—a great feeling. The best feeling.

But my life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are still moments every day when I feel down, when the weight of the world feels like it's crushing me. But even in those moments, I've learned to find strength in myself, to remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.

And that's what self-acceptance is all about. No one can avoid feeling sad, angry, or frustrated all the time. But if those feelings only crop up now and again? You’re doing pretty good. Most of all, it’s about letting those negative emotions pass when they come, roll over you like a wave before they go on their way. It's about laughing at the absurdity of it all(( With this philosophy, we really see how much the writer has grown.)) , and finding joy and humor in the midst of the pain.

So, dear reader(( Addressing your reader in a college essay is a pretty risky stylistic choice that we would generally advise against.)) , if you're struggling with self-acceptance, you're not alone. I’m there with you. And remember: it's okay to laugh at yourself, to find the humor in the situation. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. Because when you can accept yourself, you can be proud of who you are, and that's something to be truly grateful for. Tell a joke about yourself and laugh it off. You’ll feel better, I promise(( I like these sentiments, but they could be more focused on the writer instead of the reader.)) .

AO Notes on Laughter & Acceptance

This essay does a wonderful job maintaining sight of the writer’s strengths and positivity in light of really tough challenges. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Because of that, we learn a lot about them.

• Authenticity : I’d guess that this essay couldn’t have been written by anyone other than its writer. Its voice is so clear and authentic that I truly feel like the writer is talking straight to me. Since Common App essays are one of the only places where you get to speak straight to an admissions officer, authenticity is key.
• Positivity : Let’s face it. This essay is about a really serious topic that was clearly challenging for the writer. But what makes it so great is that in spite of all the challenges, the writer is able to find positivity and light. They don’t dwell on the hardships but look forward to the future. That’s exactly what a college essay about a challenging topic should do.
• Tone : Balancing your personal tone and voice with the conventions of Common App essay writing can be tricky. It’s hard to predict how an admissions officer will react to what you write. Some might love the fact that this essay truly sounds like the student who wrote it, while others might be put off by its informality. The writer could clean up just a few areas of informal language to play it a little safer.

Example #8: The Old iPhone

Common App Prompt #3

I unscrewed the tiny Phillips-head screws and wedged open my iPhone 5. I cringed as the material cracked out of place. Despite my nervousness, I felt curious. I had always been fascinated by technology and machines, but this was the first time I had ever taken apart a device as complex as an iPhone.

And it wasn’t just any iPhone. It was my very first—my most prized possession until I bought my new phone a few months ago. Since then, it had been sitting in the back of my desk drawer, collecting dust and taking up space. I just didn’t have the heart to sell, recycle, or trade it in. On a day when my ADHD was particularly affecting me, I decided to tinker with my phone to calm myself down.

Working with machines and technology had become my biggest strategy for dealing with my ADHD on those difficult days(( This is an excellent transition.)) . I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was thirteen. I’d been struggling to pay attention in class, and my teachers and parents thought it would be best to get me tested. After I started taking medication, my symptoms improved a lot. But the whole process made me feel like something was off about the way my brain worked naturally. That’s why on the days my medication just isn’t cutting it I center myself by playing with machinery and technology. Even though I can’t fully understand my brain, I can understand a machine. Sometimes that knowledge is enough to get me back on track.

At my desk while disassembling the phone, I carefully removed each piece and set them aside on a bathroom hand towel beside me. I felt calm and focused. As someone with ADHD, it can be difficult for me to concentrate on a single task. But with every part I removed, my mind grew more and more focused. I didn’t feel pulled to passing thoughts and distractions like I normally do.

Working on the phone was like meditating. The parts were so small and delicate that it took all of my attention not to lose or break any. As I examined each component, I thought about all the hard work that goes into designing, manufacturing, and selling the millions of iPhones sold each year.

Taking apart the iPhone improved my technical knowledge, but it was more than that. It also helped me to understand my own mind in a new way(( This is an important shift back to the writer’s own experience. If it weren’t here, the essay would be too much about the iPhone and not enough about the writer.)) . While working my way through this small but magnificent machine, I realized that I could think of my own brain as a kind of machine. It has a complex network of circuits and pathways that control my thoughts and actions. It requires energy to work. It is made up of smaller components that allow it to function. I can’t tinker around with my brain, but I can appreciate it for the incredible machine that it is. I just need to learn more about how my brain works and adapt accordingly.

In many ways, my ADHD has always felt like a kind of malfunction, like something is wrong with me. But as I took apart the iPhone, I began to see that even the most advanced technology isn’t perfect—there’s dust and glitches and grime and bugs. And just as Apple does software updates and new product releases to improve the iPhone, I can find ways to improve how I function with my own brain(( With this comment, the essay ends on a very positive and hopeful note—exactly what you want in a college essay. )) .

AO Notes on My Old iPhone

In this essay, the writer describes how tinkering with an iPhone affected their personal journey with ADHD. I especially like how the writer takes two quite different topics and weaves them together seamlessly.

• Creative take: The core of this essay topic is a good one. The writer uses a hobby to talk about a deeper personal topic they’re wrestling with. As a result, we learn quite a bit about both.
• Strengths: We always say that you should write your college essays around core strengths. This writer does exactly that. As readers, we can tell that the writer is a problem-solver. They figured out a way to help themselves when their medication wasn’t working, and they also used that activity to do some reflection.
• Personal meaning: The writer could have just written about how they tinker with machines to help with their ADHD. But they went beyond that. They reflect more deeply on what the experience of having ADHD means to them.
• More connections: This essay is quite good. But as a reader, I’m still left wondering why the writer is drawn to tinkering and machines in the first place. It seems like there is room for the student to write a bit more about how the activity resonates with them personally.

Example #9: My Partner in Music

Built from a dark, mocha-colored wood and strung with the best strings my mom could afford, my viola has been with me through a lot. The first time I held the instrument in my hands, I knew it was made just for me. Sure, my viola had had previous owners. But they were only caring for it until it made its way home. My instrument is who I spend the most time with, who I know the closest, and who I’ve invested so much time in. With my viola, I’ve experienced my greatest accomplishments.

I come from a family of prodders rather than pushers(( This paragraph and the following dive too deeply into the writer’s past without making clear why the information is necessary to the narrative.)) . My loved ones have never pushed me to do anything, but I’ve been prodded in certain directions. At a mere year old, I began swim lessons. At age two, I took up soccer. At two and a half, I experimented with gymnastics. None of those activities ever stuck. But my true calling came at age three when my parents started me on viola lessons.

At first, I struggled to even hold my tiny, almost toy-like viola in place. Barely able to hold my own fork for dinner, I wrestled to place my fingers correctly on the fingerboard. When it was finally time for me to use my bow, it kept falling under its own weight, my small arm not strong enough to balance it.

But I was enthralled by the sounds I was able to make. I watched in awe as my teacher conjured up the most beautiful music I’d ever heard from her instrument. Unlike swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, music made sense to me. The ability to make something so engaging from wood and metal captured my attention.

When I got my new instrument, I had been playing the viola for exactly twelve years. Between the age of three and fifteen, my skills had grown exponentially. All those nights and weekends practicing, the blisters, and the hours and hours of lessons had paid off.

This past year, I earned a spot in the American Youth Symphony, one of the most prestigious youth symphonies in the world(( It’s not until this paragraph that we get to the heart of the essay: the writer’s big accomplishment, and the challenges they overcome to get there.)) . With the symphony’s minimum age of fifteen and average age in the early twenties, I’m one of the youngest musicians in the ensemble.

It wasn’t always so clear that playing viola was my destiny. When I was a sophomore in high school, I auditioned for my regional youth symphony. I had practiced my solo for months. I had played the piece so many times that it practically became part of me. With an imaginary metronome ticking away inside of me, my fingers knew exactly how to race across my strings, and my bow hand followed along in perfect time.

When it came time for my regional orchestra audition, however, the song completely vanished. I walked up to the stage, judges behind a partition. I sat down, brought my viola up to my chin, and froze. What had been muscle memory evaporated into thin air, and I was left with a blank mind and a silent instrument. I panicked, unsure of what to do.

I stared down at the scroll of my instrument and took a deep breath. We had played this piece a thousand times. We were ready. Most importantly, I wasn’t doing this alone. My viola and I were in it together. I raised my bow to the strings and began. The song emerged from my fingers, bow, and instrument. It was beautiful. It was perfect. That audition earned me regional first chair, and I learned a valuable lesson: I have to believe in myself(( And here we get to the theme of the essay. It’s not just about the viola. It’s about the writer—a musician.)) .

Now, as a member of the American Youth Symphony, I return to this lesson every day. It’s easy to get intimated when you’re playing alongside the country’s best young musicians. But, with my viola in hand, I know that I am a musician, too.

AO Notes on My Partner in Music

This writer tells us about their prized instrument. But the essay isn’t just about the instrument. It’s about the writer. The essay does an excellent job detailing a challenge the writer overcame. By the end, we see that the writer has grown and has achieved a huge accomplishment.

• Contextualizing a great achievement: The writer’s strengths shine through in this essay because of their achievement. But throughout the essay, we also see that the writer has had to work hard to get to where they’re at today. That context adds great dimension to our understanding of them.
• Voice: Through all the events that happen in this essay, the writer’s voice remains consistent. They have a solid tone that shows their work ethic and unwillingness to give up.
• Get to the main idea quicker: Notice how the first few paragraphs of this essay are simple setup. We learn a lot about who the student was as a child before we get to the heart of the essay. The central conflict doesn’t come until almost the last paragraph. In general, college essays should be primarily about things that have happened in your life since starting high school. Brief mentions of previous events are fine, but they take up a touch too much space in this essay. It takes a while for us, the readers, to really see what the essay is about.

Example #10: The Laundromat

As the son of Chinese immigrants, I grew up working in my parents' laundromat(( Sometimes straightforward “statement” hooks work. This one does the job well.)) . It wasn't glamorous, but it was a good way to earn some extra money and help out my family. Over the years, I got to know a lot of the regulars who came in to use the machines. Some were friendly, some were angry, and some were just plain weird. But one thing they all had in common was that they had stories to tell. And I learned from every single one of them.

There was Mrs. Nguyen, an older Vietnamese woman who came in every week with a small load of clothes. She always greeted me warmly and snuck me a hard strawberry candy. We mostly talked about me—my schoolwork, friends, and sports. But one day, she opened up. She told me about her experiences fleeing Vietnam in the aftermath of the war. She described the dangers she faced and the sacrifices she made to keep her family safe. I was stunned that someone I had grown so close to had experienced such a challenge. What shocked me most was Mrs. Nguyen’s kindness in spite of everything she had been through. Before learning this about Mrs. Nguyen, I let small problems like late homework and friend arguments really upset me. But hearing her story put things into perspective for me, and I’m so grateful that she felt comfortable enough to share it with me(( Perspective: always a good lesson to learn. This example shows some good maturity.)) .

Carlos came every Tuesday and Thursday. He was a thirteen-year-old who always seemed to be practicing for the spelling bee. He went to my sister’s school and was shy and quiet. But after seeing him multiple times a week, I learned that he was also incredibly smart and dedicated. He would come into the laundromat with a stack of flashcards and a dictionary, looking for somewhere quiet to practice. He’d close his eyes and mouth the letters to himself before peeking to see if he was right. After months of watching him, I finally went up to him and offered to help(( With this “show, not tell” example, we see our writer exhibiting generosity and kindness. I also like the humor and personality in the following two sentences.)) . I started quizzing him on words that I couldn’t even really pronounce myself. I relied heavily on his dictionary! But after practicing together, Carlos won his school spelling bee and eventually went on to regionals. I was so proud of him. I learned that it if you want to succeed, you have to put in the work like Carlos did. Every time I think of quitting something, I remind myself of his determination, and I keep going.

And finally, there was Gary, a nurse who worked in the emergency room at our local hospital. He was always rushing through his laundry because of his busy schedule, but he was never too busy to sit down and talk with us kids. Gary inspired my interest in pursuing medicine. He told me countless stories about what he saw in the ER. But what I always appreciated most was when he would explain the science behind what was happening. Gary was a talented teacher who could always break down complex concepts into something even a kid could understand. By my junior year, Gary encouraged me to take AP Chemistry and Biology and now he’s helping me look at pre-medicine programs(( Nice—we get some background about the student’s academic interests.)) . Gary has sparked in me an interest in caring for people through medicine.

I could have chosen to ignore all these people and hide away in the back of the laundromat. But instead I chose to talk with them, even though it was sometimes scary and intimidating. Being around so many people, hearing all their stories, it’s really shown me that everyone has a story to tell. More importantly, everyone can learn from those around them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the regulars at the laundromat, and I hope I inspired them in some way too.

AO Notes on The Laundromat

In this classic “understanding self through others” essay, we get to know the writer through their interactions with others. The writer does a pretty good job walking the (sometimes dangerous) line between saying too much about others and not enough about themself.

• Personality: One of the best parts of “understanding self through others” essays is that we get to see who the writer is without them having to tell us. Through each of these small interactions, the writer—and their personality, values, beliefs—shines through.
• Maturity: This writer shows several strengths. I think one of the most salient is their maturity. The way they were able to learn from Mrs. Nguyen, help Carlos, and be inspired by Gary took a lot of maturity. As an AO, that would tell me that this student is ready for the college classroom.
• Connection to academic interests: Not all personal essays need to connect to an academic interest. Most probably don’t. But it was a natural connection for this writer, and I’m glad they made it. It raises the stakes of their interactions and leads beautifully into their conclusion.
• Streamline: With the three different examples, the essay reads a bit choppy. The writer could put better transitions in between each person, or they could weave the examples together into a cohesive narrative. Streamlining would also help emphasize the essay’s focus on the writer rather than the laundromat patrons.

“Bad” Common App Essay Examples

Okay, these essays aren’t necessarily “bad” as essays. But if we’re being honest, they’re not great Common App essays either.

That doesn’t mean that they don’t have the potential to become great Common App essays, though. As you’ll see in the notes from our Admissions Officers, these essays contain the seeds of good essays. They just need some reorganization and refinement.

Let’s take a look.

Example #11: What I’ve Learned About Life

We all know that life is short so you have to make the most of it. I always try to do my best and live every day to the fullest(( These sentences are both cliches. It’s always better to hook readers in with your own words.)) . Well, I did that until I broke my arm in 8th grade. I used to be not afraid to do anything, but it turns out that’s what got me in trouble. I was riding my bike home from school one day and saw a stump. I thought about what we talked about in English class that day. It was something about “carpe diem” and so I decided, “You know what? I’m gonna jump that stump.”(( This story makes for a good concrete example.)) And I did. Almost. My bike tire caught on the stump and flipped me over the handle bars. A bystander had to help me call my mom to take me to the hospital and it was fractured in four places pretty bad it actually hurt a lot. So after that I still learned to live every day to the fullest but I also learned that you need to make good decisions when doing so.

My mom always tells me that I need to be more patient because it’s a virtue and I am not patient at all. But I have decided that the most important thing to me is to try hard no matter what. I’ll work until the ends of the earth to prove myself because those who work hard succeed. So when I realized that I tried to listen to my mom. Now when I get impatient I take a deep breath and remember my goal of being successful and sometimes it is hard to be patient and I can get angry or frustrated but then I think about what my mom said. It’s a virtue and I want to be as virtuous as possible. My mom has worked so hard in this life to give me a better life and all I want to do is make her proud(( These are fantastic sentiments that could be drawn out more clearly.)) . I really think that’s what it means to be a good person. I’ll always work hard so I can be successful and she can watch me shine.

AO Notes on What I’ve Learned About Life

This essay, while short, gives an honest effort at conveying something deeply meaningful. I especially like the very last sentence, which tells us a lot about who the writer is as a person. But there are a few areas this essay could improve.

What this essay does well:

• Authenticity: It’s clear that the writer is discussing something very meaningful. I have no doubt that these lessons have played a big role in their life.

What could be improved on:

• Too short: The maximum word count for the Common Application essay is 650 words. We like to encourage students to get to at least 80% of the word count, which means that your Common App essays should be at least 520 words. This essay is only 361.
• The topic is too vague and full of generalities: The writer is communicating something meaningful about what they’ve learned throughout their life, but they do so only through generalities. Being too vague makes it hard for admissions officers to see who you really are. Instead, the writer could use concrete experiences and reflect specifically on how those experiences impacted them.

Example #12: Clean Slate

Common App Prompt #7

Bubbles, foam, and the sweet smell of chemicals. Shiny surfaces free of streaks and grime. I cleaned the entire house in three hours flat. I never really learned how to clean growing up, but I started seeing cleaning videos online. The cleaning videos always relax me, so I thought I’d give it a try(( This shows the writer’s initiative.)) .

First I needed to figure out what kinds of supplies to buy. After watching a few more videos, I made a list of the most commonly used items. Since I was on a limited budget, so I could only get the basics. I turned to coupons to find the best bargains possible. I bought disinfectant, a multi-purpose cleaner, and a window and mirror spray. I also found a mop, sponges, and a scrubber brush. It all cost me only fifteen dollars!

My family was shocked when I came home with these supplies in a shopping bag. They didn’t understand why I cared so much. We vacuumed and used disinfectant wipes every so often to keep things manageable, but none of us knew that you are supposed to deep clean your house every month or so until I told everyone based on what I saw online. I showed them each product I bought and told them what the purpose of each one was. They were proud of me for taking initiative and learning something new. They also couldn’t wait to see the results.

Then it was time for me to get to work. To strike inspiration, I put on another cleaning video in the background. I began with the bathroom. It was tidy, but it sure wasn’t clean. There was dust on all the surfaces, soap scum, and rust. I grabbed the disinfectant spray first because it has to sit for a while to actually disinfect. Then I used the mirror spray to clean toothpaste off the mirror. I scrubbed all the surfaces with my new sponge until they were squeaky clean. Then I moved on to the floors. My mop is a spray mop, so it was a quick job.

Next I moved on to the kitchen. That was much harder because it was more complex. There are several appliances, dishes to do, and food to put away. I wiped down the cabinets, which had a dark grime that you couldn’t even see before. I felt accomplished because I was actually cleaning. Once the kitchen was done, I moved on to the living room and the bedrooms. It took forever, but I did it(( By this point, we should have some more reflection from the writer about why this story is personally meaningful.)) .

I gave my family a tour around the house, showing them all the nooks and crannies I had cleaned. They were impressed and I felt so proud. I stood back, admiring my work. The house glistened like a diamond with cleanliness.

The next day I got up and decided to take a look around, excited to see my handiwork again. I was in shock when I stepped into the kitchen. It was a disaster. There was food and dishes everywhere. I ran to the bathroom. It wasn’t any better. There were dirty clothes and an open toothpaste tube. The baseboards already had a small bit of dust. I was devastated. All my hard work was gone just like that.

I told my family how upset I was. They understood and said that they would try to be better next time. But I also learned that that’s just how cleaning goes. You can try to keep things tidy, but we actually live in this house and sometimes that means making a mess. I hugged my family members and felt better after their apology(( I really like the picture we get of the writer here. I can tell that they are very mature and thoughtful!)) . We made up, they picked up a few things to pitch in, and I put my cleaning supplies back in the closet until next time.

AO Notes on Clean Slate

In this essay, we go on a cleaning journey with the writer. We see their successes and disappointments. We learn a bit about their family background, and we cheer them on as they overcome challenges.

• Writing and organization: This essay is well-written, and the narrative easily holds a reader’s interest. There’s a good sense of the plot, and the paragraphs are clearly organized and easy to read through.
• Strengths: We really see the writer’s initiative through this story. They did their research, got their supplies, and put their interest into action.
• More significance: While this is a fun topic, it doesn’t convey much meaning about the writer’s life. The writer could make the topic more significant by adding more reflection throughout to show explicitly how this story has changed them as a person. Or they could select a different topic that relates to something more deeply meaningful about their life.

Key Takeaways

Hopefully these Common App essay examples have shown you what to do (and what not to do). More importantly, we hope that the commentary from our former admissions officers has helped you analyze the why behind what makes an effective Common App essay.

Absorbing these lessons and applying them to your own Common Application essay will help take your writing to the next level. No matter what you write about, your goal should be to create a seamless application narrative that speaks to your strengths.

If you’re not sure what step to take next, we've got you covered. The Essay Academy — our comprehensive digital college essay course — walks you through every step. 

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We built the best admissions chancer in the world . How is it the best? It draws from our experience in top-10 admissions offices to show you how selective admissions actually works.

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Common App essay examples that got applicants into top colleges

Composing essays for your college application is a challenging task. It is not enough to prepare a ‘good’ essay. College admissions committees review thousands upon thousands of college essays annually, making it crucial that your Common App essays stand out.

The good news is there are plenty of Common App essay examples available to get you started on your writing and provide you some much needed inspiration. Read on to learn about common application essays and check out the examples. 

The “Why us?” App Essay

The “diversity” app essay, the “challenges” app essay, the “community” app essay, the “extra-curricular activities” app essay, the “personal statement” app essay.

The purpose of a “why did you choose this college” essay is to help you persuade admissions committees that you are a good match. The essay is a chance for you to introduce yourself and talk about your passions. It is also important to exhibit genuine enthusiasm for the institution.

Sample answer from Essays That Worked: “The only reason I fear going for lunch in a hotel is probably because I wouldn’t choose between fried chicken and roasted meat and so is my dilemma over my college major. The multifaceted whole brain approach at McCormick, however, grants me the perfect opportunity to pursue my interest in Computer Science whilst acquiring the appropriate skills in entrepreneurship to a one day startup as an innovator.

As a NU computer scientist, I particularly look forward to Software Development EECS 473 – NUvention: Web, through which I would not only learn intricacies of Software development, but have related studies in real time software development in relation to market requirements in CS+X that would form a base for a startup. That would also provide a bridge for me to join Prof Todd Warren at Farley Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation where I would specifically join the NUvention; Web + Media. Through this unparalleled program I would have the intimacy of working in a team with fellow wild cats towards an innovative business project. The results of which will be an introduction to the Northwestern Innovation and New Ventures Office (INVO) through which I look forward to gaining practical exposure in launching businesses to the general public.

Outside McCormick, I would be excited to pursue the Managerial analytics Certificate program at Kellogg to acquire intelligent business management skills, let off steam at SPARK exploring hacks while fostering entrepreneurial habits, and eventually joining preparations for the Benedictine Eagle Invite at the Henry Crown Sports Pavilion (SPAC) with the NU track club. I may not be the best of singers, but I do have intense phases of music obsessions and where better to let it off than taking non major classes at Bienen and joining one of the numerous Acapella groups as I await Armadillo day!”

Why does this essay work? 

The essay refers to specific programs and events that are unique to the school. The author also connects his personal interests with the type of activities he would like to engage in. The focus is on a handful of initiatives the author would be most interested in.

A diversity essay highlights the applicant’s unique background, identity, culture, beliefs, or connections to a particular community. It underlines what sets the applicant apart. These essays are used by colleges to promote diversity on campus, enhance the learning environment, and identify candidates eligible for scholarships aimed at underrepresented groups.

Sample Answer from Boston College : “I’m angry and I’m tired of pretending otherwise. There have been too many riots, too many marches, too many people shouting into uncaring ears when Black people get treated the way we do. How many dead fathers, sons, mothers, and daughters have to move from the front page of the news to the bottom of the social media feed before we get recognized and listened to. I just want to be heard. I have given up on the idea of waking up in a world where I am not afraid, angry, and weary. Maybe that world is for my grandkids, or my great-grandkids, but not me.

My mother and my father, my aunts and uncles, they were all very active in the protests – often at the front of the line – and they did not come through unscathed. They had bruises and blood spilt, they had broken bones. I know they will return to that battlefield, to protest peacefully until they cannot maintain that rank any longer. From these noble people I received my sense of righteous anger. But I also got good advice on how to use it well.

They know that protests are one thing, but action is another, and my mind has been geared toward law school for some time now, because I wanted to bring about the major changes that are needed for our society to move on. So, in addition to protests, I have been taking pre-law courses, and I have acquired a part-time job in the law firm where my uncle works, and while it is a small, office job, I get to spend a lot of time with my uncle learning about how to bring positive change by fighting big and little battles. Of course, he is also showing me how to fight those battles.

Anger alone isn’t going to settle anything, which is why I believe in making a better world with my actions and rhetoric. But I am still frustrated and furious, and while I am trying to find a hopeful place to get to, I’ll repeat that I don’t think we’ll see the better world I want. Maybe our grandkids, but not us. Hold on to that, get angry, and join me in pushing forward for them.”

The applicant talks about their personal experience beyond a general push for diversity. This authenticity makes the essay stand out, as it provides a genuine insight into the applicant’s life and character.The essay clearly articulates the applicant’s motivation for pursuing law school as a means to enact social change. It shows a thoughtful progression from anger and frustration to actionable goals and aspirations, which is exactly what admissions committees look for — students who are motivated by their experiences to make a positive impact.

This type of essay requires you to choose an obstacle you have encountered, explain how it impacted you, and outline the steps you took to overcome it. Life during college and beyond can be unpredictable. Through this essay, the admissions committee wants to see that you are adaptable, resilient, and able to think critically to solve problems. 

Sample Answer from CollegeVine: “You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.”

For a ‘challenge’ essay, admissions committees look for evidence of resilience, problem-solving, and the ability to learn from difficult situations. This essay effectively addresses these criteria, presenting the writer as someone who has faced interpersonal challenges, reflected on their actions, and emerged more aware and compassionate.

The “Community” essay will prompt students to talk about a community to which they belong and what role they have played in that community. You can start by discussing a community you have previously been involved with and then outline how you intend to sustain your engagement with a similar community in college to give the admissions office an idea of what on-campus activities you would like to participate in. 

Sample answer from Baylor University : “Since getting involved in helping the homeless, I learned that for a time one of my relatives was homeless. When you have a house it’s easy to take it for granted, but all it takes is some bad luck for you to lose it. This is why I feel it’s so important that we all try to help those who have no home to go to.

As hard as it was to motivate others to volunteer and help out with our fundraiser, it was worth it in the end. We raised over $1,000 for the hurricane victims. Now when we see news coverage of that terrible disaster at least we know that we have done our small part to help. 

The reward for being a coach has nothing to do with winning games. The reward is seeing everyone working as a team and enjoying the game. Win or lose, as a coach you’re always proud after each game.”

Overall, this essay works because it skillfully combines personal motivation with community action, challenges faced during these endeavors, and reflections on what truly constitutes a reward. It not only showcases the applicant’s commitment to addressing community issues but also highlights valuable character traits such as empathy, leadership, and resilience. 

The essay about your extracurricular activities aims to provide admissions officers with insight into your involvement in extracurriculars and how that has influenced and inspired you. Rather than listing the activities mentioned in your resume, you should delve into how the extracurricular activities have impacted and shaped you.  

Sample answer from Admit Report : “As an impressionable six-year-old, I watched Meryl Streep-portrayed Miranda Priestly shape fashion history with a single word of disgust. I longed for my words to have such an impact.

Now, as an editor-in-chief myself, I oversee daily operations of The Hallway, my high school’s newspaper. Instead of shaping global fashion trends, I impact my community by ensuring everyone stays informed.

My place as editor-in-chief was solidified when, in March of last year, we published a breaking story. After a tip to our newspaper email address, a fellow reporter and I uncovered an academic dishonesty scandal. We conducted interviews, dug into school files, and reviewed old test keys to discover the cheating. My reporter wrote the story, and I edited it and put it on the front page. Our story became so big that it was republished in our city’s local newspaper.

Leading my team through this investigation taught me just how important journalism is. Even when people might be upset with what you write, what’s most important is the truth. People can’t make decisions if they’re uninformed about the facts. And reporters can’t investigate and write those stories without the support of a leader who’s willing to put in the work, too.

I doubt I’ll ever predict what we’ll be wearing next spring. But I know that my words will continue to have a deep impact on my community, and I can’t wait to find the next big story at The Catalyst.”

The applicant reflects on what they learned through their experience, especially the value of truth and the role of leadership in journalism.The essay concludes with a forward-looking statement, expressing eagerness to continue making an impact through journalism. This not only highlights the applicant’s passion for their extracurricular activity but also their intention to pursue this interest further, suggesting potential for future growth and contributions.

Through this essay, you can get the opportunity to show the college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. The essay demonstrates the type of individual you are beyond  your academic grades and test scores. It is a chance for you to stand out as an individual. 

Sample answer from College Advisor : “Gymnastics has always been a part of my life and has shaped who I am today. Without gymnastics I would not have the same determined mindset, competitive nature, and appreciation of a team. If I were to neglect sharing this aspect of my life, my application would truly be incomplete.

When I was two years old, my parents enrolled me in the Parent-and-Me program at Countryside Gymnastics. At six, I became part of the pre-team program, Dynamos, and was placed in the compulsory team at age seven.  As a compulsory, I struggled to be as good as my teammates. This struggle caused frustration which evolved into determination and a competitive nature. Throughout the rest of my compulsory years, I gradually improved but still felt as though I were stuck. I knew I had to “up my game.”

The optional levels, 7 and up, brought a new factor—fear. Even though this fear did hold me back at times, I did not let it keep me from achieving my goals. Gymnastics is also extremely tough on the body. Once I entered the optional level of gymnastics, I trained at least 20 hours a week and endured the aches and pains that came along with it. However, I did not let these pains defeat me. When I reached level 9, I began to experience severe back pain, which a spine specialist diagnosed as a subcutaneous lipoma. Although the physician highly recommended I stop training to avoid complications later in life, I was too committed to stop the sport.  I let my desire push me through the pain, and I had a successful competition season, qualifying for the Region 8 Regional Competition in Jackson, Mississippi. 

During summer training in 2013, I worked as hard as possible to reach level 10, with the back pain progressively worsening. Once my pain peaked, my coach told me it may be time to “hang it up.” I could either quit or repeat level 9 with minimal training. Ultimately, the choice was mine. To prove I was capable of reaching level 10 and to support my team, I continued to train on a vigorous schedule. At level 10, I am the highest level gymnast at Countryside Gymnastics and am determined to have an exceptional competition season.

This determination and competitiveness that pushes me to accomplish my goals in gymnastics also exists in my current scholastics—the health sciences, which will ultimately prepare me for my future in pediatric medicine. Without the desire to be the best I can be, I might not have achieved success throughout my high school years.”

This personal statement application essay effectively showcases the applicant’s character, resilience, and the transferability of skills learned through sports to academic and personal pursuits.It is also well-structured, with a clear narrative arc that engages the reader from the beginning to the end.

These essays are a vital component of the college application. It’s an opportunity for applicants to showcase their personality, experiences, and values in a way that grades and test scores cannot. The example essays can give you ideas on themes, topics, or approaches you might want to consider and help you understand what makes an essay effective in terms of structure, tone, and content.

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NJHS Essay Examples and Guidelines

Do you desire to be a member of the National Honor Society ? Without a doubt, this is the desire of many American high school students. One of the most significant aspects of the application process is the National Junior Honor Society, NJHS essay. That is the reason for this article on NJHS essay examples.

The NJHS essay allows students to show their knowledge, originality, and writing abilities. The NJHS application requires students to write an essay on a subject that the organization has chosen.

The National Junior Honor Society (NJHS) awards children who succeed in their studies. This article will provide some National Junior Honor Society essay samples that will give you a template and help you write your own.

The main objective of providing you with an NJHS essay sample is to prove that you are an ideal candidate and qualified to join this elite club.

National Junior Honor Society (NJHS)

The National Junior Honor Society (NJHS) is an American club that celebrates students who succeed in the areas of character, devotion, responsibility, and academics.

Candidates are chosen in the spring of their 2nd or 3rd year and must have at least a 3.7 GPA or 4.3 QPA to be considered. Students must also satisfy all NJHS eligibility criteria.

As a result, the candidate should fulfil the membership qualifications, which include personality traits or educational accomplishments like grade point average, devotion, experiences, or strategic vision.

The essay must be excellently written in a coherent manner, as seen in the sample below. A narrative that highlights the applicant’s leadership attributes and personality will be a great compliment.

This NJHS essay sample can assist applicants in determining what information is necessary for a good essay. Also, it can help to create a distinctive and original writeup.

Tips for a Successful NJHS Essay ( NJHS Essay Examples )

The following are some ideas that will help you write your NJHS essay:

1. Outline your essay

Begin by jotting down the key points of your essay. Highlight the achievements that will prove that you match the NJHS requirements.

Then, before you begin your initial draft, map out the framework of your essay. Ensure the structure of your essay is organised and logical. This will make it easier for you to write a balanced essay that covers each of your important topics thoroughly.

Read: 6th Grade Essay Topics – Best 100 Essay Ideas for Sixth-Graders

2. Focus on Your Academic Achievements

First, talk about your academic achievements. Only students who have excelled academically are eligible to join the NJHS. List your GPA, test scores, and any academic honours you’ve received, including the Honor Roll.

List any distinctions, university preparation, or special education courses you’ve taken or are currently enrolled in. It’s important to show that you’ve not only excelled cognitively but also that you’ve pushed yourself academically.

3. Talk about your leadership abilities

Then, emphasize your experience as a leader. Include details about your experience as a classroom captain or in other leadership roles in any extracurricular activities. Also, if applicable, talk about your sports leadership. If you’ve ever been the captain of the team, mention it.

Specify whether you have been elected or appointed. NJHS seeks young people who are interested in extracurricular activities and who stand out as leaders among their peers and adults.

4. Demonstrate how you’ve helped others.

NJHS seeks pupils who have added value to their communities without getting paid, so this is a great opportunity to emphasize your voluntary experience.

List all service groups with which you have been associated, as well as your volunteer work activities, such as church-related service initiatives.

5. Emphasise Your Great Personality

NJHS seeks students who are helpful, truthful, dependable, friendly, caring about others, and compassionate.

Consider the various ways in which you have demonstrated these attributes. A personal account that reflects your outstanding ethics and personal integrity will be ideal, but you should make sure your stories aren’t overly long.

6. Proofread Your Essay

Review your essay before making your submission, and ensure it is your finest work, that you have clearly described yourself, and that it is flawless or mistake-free. Before submitting your application, have an educator or adult proofread your essay for vocabulary, mechanical accuracy, punctuation, and relevance.

NJHS Essay Examples

Being chosen by my teachers and other leaders to be a candidate for membership in the National Honor Society is a great honor for me. This means that I have achieved my goal of demonstrating my determination and willingness to help people and serve the community. I believe that I can become a valuable member of the NHS because I am hardworking, reliable and I possess all the qualities required by this prestigious organization, such as scholarship, leadership, character, and service abilities. My academic achievements are the result of my hard work and assurance that my membership in the NHS is another step that will enable me to achieve success and cherish the chances of becoming a leader and thus a worthy role-model for other people. By having a GPA of 3.91 and 3.92 in the 9th and 10th grades, respectively, I have proven to my teachers and myself that I can make my dreams come true. One of these dreams is to have the honor of being a part of NHS society. Also, while in high school, I have been taking all honors courses, and as an elementary student, I have participated in many academic competitions such as the Academic Challenge in 6th and 7th grade, where my team and I scored the second and first places, respectively. Apart from studying with dedication and participating in competitions, I also play an active role in the school. Since childhood, I had a chance to develop my leadership and organizational skills through sports and had my school team win many competitions. My school is one of the places where my leadership qualities are valued as I often become the head of many activities, such as staging plays, organizing shows, and school trips with my teachers. Being a leader allows me to work in a team and consider my peers’ ideas to make our plans creative and enjoyable for everyone. My traits help me to gain the trust and respect of my peers as they believe me to be a positive, open-minded, and reliable person. I have learned to solve problems and conflicts thanks to this great experience of leadership, and I am always ready to assist my peers when it is needed.

The National Honor Society is an exceptional organization that allows students to help the needy, children, the elderly, and nonprofit organizations. I would be excited to join such a society because of the limitless opportunities it would present to me. Joining NHS would allow me to grow as a person and do as much as I can for others. In my years as a student, I have shown great examples of scholarship, leadership, character and service that I believe would qualify me to join this prestigious society. As Wikipedia defines it, the word “scholarship” means “academic study or achievement; learning at a high level”. I consider myself a great scholar because I strive for excellence. I always aim to be the best in everything I do. As for effort, I make sure to fill my schedule with the most rigorous classes I can handle. I have taken all honors classes since the beginning of high school, and I aim to continue taking honors and AP classes in the future to reach my true potential as a student. I have also been on the honor roll since freshman year at my local high school, which demonstrates my eagerness to perform at the highest level I can. I believe that all students should try their best in everything they do, as I have demonstrated. As a scholar, I believe I am qualified to join this society. In addition to being a scholar, I can definitely be considered a leader. Recently, I was invited to participate in the National Young Leaders Conference in Washington, D.C. This invitation indicates that I place emphasis on standing out from the crowd and demonstrating my unique qualities. For example, I cofounded an Indian dance club at my high school. This club is important because it is the first dance club at my school. It allows members of all ethnicities and races to enjoy and learn Indian dance, thereby promoting cultural diversity. In addition to school-related activities, I also bring my passions to the outside community. One example of this is my role as a youth leader at the temple that I regularly attend. This position allows me to explore my interest in Hindu mythology with other members. I am able to translate this attraction into classical dance, skits, lectures, and musical instruments that help young members embrace their cultural identity. I consider myself to have a great character to join NHS. I embrace all ethnicities and celebrate the differences within everyone that ironically bring us closer. I have a positive attitude that comes in handy when communicating with others. I definitely believe in the idea that each person shapes his or her own destiny. This means that I recognize the importance of always doing my best so that I may shape my life into what I want it to be. Finally, I have helped my community by volunteering in the medical field. I spent the last summer working at a home for the elderly, where I was able to listen to life stories, participate in activities — be more specific, and learn about working in the healthcare field. Volunteering is a valuable experience that has helped me become a better person. I look forward to continuing my volunteer work in the medical field in the future. Because of my abilities and experiences as a student, I believe I can be considered a strong candidate for the NHS. I have demonstrated the scholarship, leadership, character, and service qualities necessary to join the society. I hope to be considered for placement in this prestigious organization. Original Source: College Confidential

Common Mistakes in NJHS Essay Writing

The following are the most typical mistakes students make when writing NJHS essays:

1. Confusion between the introduction and the conclusion:

An engaging introduction establishes your tone and the tone for the rest of your article. The main body of your work is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate your imagination and persuade the reader of your position. The conclusion should summarise the main points stated in the main body. Despite the fact that it may appear straightforward, many students make mistakes when summarising this section.

2. The issue of plagiarism:

In the academic community, plagiarism is taken quite seriously. It’s unethical to use someone else’s ideas without referencing them. Institutions have mechanisms in place to detect plagiarism and punish those who do it. After being caught, the possibility of a second chance lowers.

3. Not Enough Proofreading:

You must go through your work after writing it. Work is never fully completed, even after writing. Get some rest and then return to it. You should begin making changes to the areas that require them right now. When you’re satisfied with the overall organisation and accuracy of the arguments, it’s time to move on to the proofreading stage. After that, the paper can be sent in for evaluation.

4. Inadequate foundation:

Structure your essay using a combination of macro- and micro-organization. Maintain the organisational principles that will help your essay be strong and interesting. Make certain that your essay covers everything. Priority should be given to originality.

5. Unnecessary Information:

Avoid including irrelevant information in your writing. It is essential to include only information that is relevant to your essay and adds value to it. Write concise phrases that make efficient use of vocabulary and syntax so that an examiner can grasp what you’re trying to express.

6. Lack of Confidence:

When writing an NJHS essay, you must demonstrate confidence in what you have written by demonstrating enthusiasm and conviction in each argument covered.

NJHS Essay Mistakes to Avoid

Here are four ways to avoid making these NJHS essay mistakes:

A lack of grammatical competency is obvious when there are too many typos in an essay.

Submitting an essay with such an error shows a lack of concern on your part.

You can avoid this by thoroughly editing your work.

Examine the text for poor grammar, misspelt words, and typos. Do not rely solely on spellcheckers.

2. Disjointed Transitions

Because they include many ideas, paragraphs must be appropriately formatted. Separate them as if they were in a separate essay. With the help of paragraph transitions, this is simple. Also, make certain that the essay flows properly and makes sense.

3. Plagiarism

Plagiarism is a sort of cheating that could cost you a great opportunity to enhance your career. The methods for avoiding them are simple. If you took someone else’s idea, you should reference it. Correct citation is required. Make sure you learn how to rewrite and own the idea.

4. Poor Readability

Remember that getting your message across is more vital than sounding intellectually clever in your essay. You can prevent these issues by using fewer filler words and phrases.

Maintain your attention on the main point of the essay. Furthermore, ensure that the information you want to express is communicated in clear, simple terms.

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