describe your leadership experience sample essay

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13 Leadership Experience Examples for Interviews

By Biron Clark

Published: November 20, 2023

You could hear this question in any interview… whether it’s an entry-level position or a Director job: “What are some of your leadership experiences?”

I’m going to give you the 3 steps to make sure you give a GREAT interview answer that stands out and makes them think “yes, this is the person we should hire!”

Then, we’ll look at 13 examples of leadership experience you can include on your resume or mention in interviews (including some you may not realize you have!)

Let’s get started…

Why Do Employers Ask About Your Prior Leadership Experience?

Employers will inquire about your prior leadership experience when you interview for a position as a supervisor or manager or when they anticipate that you’ll lead a team on specific projects. 

Even if you don’t have specific management experience in a prior role, you likely have experience leading a task to completion or organizing a project. Highlight your experience and the steps you took to manage your team successfully. Your example will give the interviewer a sense of what to expect if they hire you for the role.

What are Leadership Experience and Skills?

Leadership skills encompass several traits, including interpersonal communication, conflict resolution, strategic thinking, and negotiation. The right combination of leadership experience and skills allows managers to successfully motivate their teams and inspire them to work toward specific goals. Good leaders will also demonstrate accountability for their responsibilities and actions.

Watch: How to Answer “What Are Some of Your Leadership Experiences?”

How to answer “what are some of your leadership experiences”.

There are a couple of guidelines to keep in mind. You want to pick leadership examples that follow these 3 guidelines:

1. Choose an example that’s as relevant as possible

What does this mean? If you’re applying for a Customer Service Supervisor job, and you’ve had some leadership experience in other customer service roles , you should absolutely share that! That’s much more relevant than leadership on a sports team, in school, etc. So always go with what’s most relevant first!

2. Pick something that’s somewhat recent if you can

Recent experience beats older experience if everything else is equal. So when you share some of your leadership experiences, pick things that are recent whenever you have a choice.

3. And finally, choose an example that’s impressive overall

Along with thinking about which of your experiences are most relevant and recent, you need to think about how impressive something is overall. Leading a large number of people is impressive. Managing people directly is more impressive than just leading people on a quick project (especially if you’re interviewing for a job where you’ll be managing more people directly – this goes back to what’s relevant!) Leading a complex project is impressive. Handling multiple projects is impressive. You get the point. So also think about the scale of your past leadership, and the challenges involved, and try to share examples that are most challenging and have a “wow” factor.

Best Interview Answers for “What Are Some of Your Leadership Experiences?”

So to give the best answer possible, you want to combine the three points above, and then be specific. If you have previous work experience, use the STAR method – Situation, Task, Action, Result. What was the situation you were in? Was it school, a recent job, or something else? How many people did you lead, and who were they? Next, what was the task? What did you need to accomplish or what problem did you face? After that, talk about the action you took and how you led. What were your options, which did you choose as a leader, and why?

And finally, conclude your leadership experiences by talking about the RESULT. That’s most important. How did things turn out? And what did you learn from it? How did you use this experience to improve and how will you use this knowledge to perform well in this job you’re interviewing for!

It’s Okay if You Don’t Have ‘Perfect’ Leadership Examples…

Maybe you just graduated from school, or you’re applying for your first job . You might not have work-related leadership experience. That’s okay. Just pick the most relevant leadership experiences that you can think of. Do the best you can with the example you prepare. Nobody’s perfect, and nobody has every single thing an employer wants in the interview, so you just need to prepare the best you can and give the best example you can when responding to the question. And if the STAR method isn’t working (I’ve seen people struggle to use it if your example of leadership experience is from sports, etc.), make it simpler and just focus on the situation, and what you learned from it. What was the goal, and how did you help accomplish it through leadership? And how did you improve and develop as a leader? Always show what you learned at the end! That’s one of the keys to answering this type of interview question. If you don’t have any formal leadership experience (like managing a team at work, or managing client projects), here are 13 examples of leadership experience to help you get ideas…

13 Leadership Experience Examples

1. leading a project or task in school.

This can be any level of school. Choose whatever you completed most recently. If you’re a college graduate, pick a project from the last one or two years of college. If you just graduated high school, choose something from your senior year.  Taking a lead role in a school project is a great example of leadership experience. If you delegated tasks, chose the overall strategy for the project, or anything like that, that’s leadership! Organizing a team presentation can also be considered leadership.

Example answer:

I was assigned to lead a team of three colleagues in my college marketing course. We had to develop a comprehensive digital marketing strategy for a hypothetical e-commerce company. I organized our group to work on different components of the plan, including our content, social media , and email strategy. We developed a 15-page report and earned an A+.

2. Organizing a study group

Maybe you didn’t lead projects in school, but you organized a study group after class. That’s still a great example of leadership and taking initiative. Any example of you taking initiative and doing something that wasn’t required, but helped you succeed, is a good leadership example.

A calculus course during college was extremely difficult, and I noticed several students were struggling with the assignments and tests. I organized a study group that met twice each week to discuss calculus concepts and work on our homework together. The group was highly beneficial; we all finished with As and Bs in the course. 

3. Spotting a problem at work and finding a solution

Maybe you spotted a potential problem in your most recent job and brought it to your boss’ attention, or better yet – fixed it yourself. This is a great leadership example. Any time you go above and beyond what your basic job requires and solve a problem or take the lead on something without being asked is great leadership.

In my previous job as a quality control engineer, I noticed that a part we manufactured often had a specific defect. I looked further into the issue and found that one of our machines didn’t have the proper calibrations, and this caused the defect. I alerted a manager and we fixed the machine. After that, we saw a 90% decrease in defects for that part.

4. Sports leadership experience

If you’ve played a lead role on any sports teams, this can certainly be used as a leadership example in job interviews.  So think back to your past, and whether you led any sports teams.

I was a cheerleader in high school, and we regularly competed against other teams in our city. I wanted our team to win before I graduated, so I designed a creative cheer that involved lots of stunts and dancing. We practiced hard, and our performance was rock solid at the competition. We won the event and took home several trophies.

5. Volunteer/non-profit leadership

If you’ve volunteered at a local foundation or non-profit and taken a leadership role – even in one task or for one day – you can mention this as leadership experience.  Some of the best leadership experience examples can be for one single day or one single moment; it doesn’t need to be something you did for years.

I volunteer at my local Animal Rescue and usually spend at least one or two days each month caring for the animals in the shelter. I wanted to see more animals go to good homes, so I contacted a pet store to organize adoptions for dogs and cats. We moved several animals to the store, and they were immediately adopted. 

6. Training/mentoring newer team members

You don’t need to have a Manager or Supervisor job title to play a lead role in a past job. If you were ever asked to help get a new team member up to speed, train them on the basics, or watch over them in their first few weeks, that’s a great example of leadership experience. This shows your past boss trusted you and knew they could rely on you. That’s one of the key things you want to try to do when sharing past leadership experiences – pick something that shows other people thought you were someone they could trust and rely on. In an interview, this will help convince the interviewer that they can also rely on you! That’ll help you get hired.

In my last role as an accountant , we expanded our department by ten new employees in six months. Most new workers were recent college graduates, so I became a mentor to help them adjust to the work environment. I introduced them to our accounting system and ensured they had the guidance to perform their tasks.

7. Managing clients/projects

Maybe you’ve never had people reporting directly to you, but you’ve managed projects or managed client accounts for your last company.  You can certainly mention that as one of your leadership examples in the interview.

In my last role as a sales director, I was in charge of several prolific clients who were a significant source of revenue for our company. I ensured that our services always met their needs and regularly checked in on them so we could immediately fix any issues they encountered. Every one of the clients I worked with renewed their contract with our company.

8. Direct reports

If you’ve ever had direct reports, this is the most powerful example you can give. If you hired people, did annual reviews, and had them report to you on a regular basis, this shows your employer trusted you at a very high level. While most people aren’t going to be able to give this as an example, if you can, you should!

In my last role as the human resources manager , I oversaw a team of six employees. I ensured they had all the resources needed to handle their responsibilities and was always there to guide them if questions arose. During my time, the company promoted two of my team members to supervisory positions, and they credited my mentorship as a significant reason for their success.

9. Leading a meeting or committee

This can be at school, at an after-school organization, any type of volunteer organization, a job, a club, etc. If you led a meeting or committee for even a short time period or one-time event, that’s still great leadership experience to put on a resume and then talk about in interviews if asked.  For example, if you were part of a club that needed to host an event, and they put you in charge of the committee responsible for finding a venue and calling different event halls to ask if they’re available – that’s something you led.

As the project manager for the compliance department, I led a weekly meeting with our legal, accounting, finance, and tax team members. Before the meeting, I organized all the topics to discuss and any current updates I had. I ensured that each session was smooth and productive and that every participant understood the responsibilities they needed to take care of in the next week.

10. Passion projects

Even if you took the lead on a project that wasn’t work-related and wasn’t for a non-profit, you can still share it as a leadership example.  Maybe you got three friends together to build an electric go-cart. This still shows the ability to manage and organize a highly-technical, time-consuming project. That’s a valuable trait for many jobs! So don’t be shy about sharing examples of leadership experience even if you weren’t paid for it, weren’t officially a “manager”, and weren’t doing it for an official organization or employer!

While in college, I decided to organize a group of people who enjoyed weekend hikes. I’m a regular hiker familiar with the nearby trails, so I led every trek, ensuring that everyone remained safe and enjoyed the time spent in nature. By the end of the first semester, over 100 students had joined the club. Even though it’s been a few years since my last college hike, we still keep in contact and share the hikes and nature adventures we embark on.

11. Conflict Resolution

Everyone experiences conflict at some point in their lives, both personally and professionally. However, not everyone can successfully resolve disputes. If you have a noteworthy example of conflict resolution, share it with the interviewer. For example, perhaps you stopped a disagreement between two colleagues and found a reasonable compromise that suited both parties.

In my last job as a pediatric nurse , I had a patient who broke their arm after falling during a baseball game. The family members were distraught, and the parents blamed one another for the accident. Their arguments upset the child, so I stepped in and asked them to calm down. I explained that it was an accident and there was no point in arguing. Instead, they should focus their energy on supporting their child. They stopped arguing and quickly understood that the cause of the tension came from worry. 

12. Family Responsibilities

If you have children, a spouse, or elderly parents you care for, you’ve likely encountered numerous scenarios when you needed to step in and take charge. For instance, maybe you noticed your child didn’t understand a schoolwork concept, so you helped them study for their test. If you have an aging parent, you might take a leadership role in their healthcare needs.

As the oldest child, I cared for my younger brother and sister since my parents both worked full-time. After I started driving, I took them to school and ensured they always got to their after-school activities. I was also responsible for making their school lunches and cooking dinner since my parents often didn’t get off work until 6 or 7 p.m..

13. Event Planning

Event planning is another area where leadership is crucial. Overseeing a significant event requires lots of planning, organization, and time management. If you’ve recently planned an event, such as a wedding or a networking activity, you could describe your work and how you ensured the event occurred without a hitch.

My best friend asked me to be her wedding planner. She knows how much I enjoy planning major events and expected I would do a great job catering to her tastes. I planned the entire wedding, including the after-party, for nearly 500 guests. The results were spectacular, and our friends and family still discuss it. Another friend is getting married next year, and she’s asked me to assist in the planning, too.

Full Example Answers for “What Are Your Leadership Experiences?”

Now that you know what to include in your answer, let’s look at a few examples. I’ll give an example for a recent graduate without work experience, and then for somebody who has work experience already.

Example answer if you have no work experience:

I just finished my degree in Finance , and most of my classes during my final year involved teamwork. I try to step up as a leader whenever possible, because it allows me to develop skills in communication, delegation, and managing multiple tasks and deadlines. In a senior-level Accounting class, we were broken off into teams of four and had to complete a large project throughout the entire semester. My team ended up getting the highest grade in the class because I set a schedule early in the project and delegated tasks to people based on their strengths. I enjoy leading and delegating, and I hope to continue leading in my professional career now.

Example answer if you have work experience:

In my last job, I was responsible for supervising a team of five, including managing their schedules, training them and mentoring them. I enjoy leadership and am proud to say that two of these five people were promoted while I was mentoring them. In my job before that, I supervised a team of three designers on certain projects. I wasn’t their direct manager but they reported to me for the projects I led. So I have a mix of project management experience from that role and direct management experience from my most recent job. I enjoy both.

What To Do Next:

Now you need to come up with your own examples of leadership experience to share in the interview. Think about where you’ve led, what you’ve learned, and which story will be most relevant to the employer. Remember the first thing we discussed: Your example of leadership experience should be as relevant as possible, somewhat recent, and impressive overall. If that doesn’t sound familiar, go back to the first half of the article where this is mentioned. And whatever example of past leadership experience you choose to share, be ready to get specific and share real results. What was the outcome and what did you learn? Any time an interviewer is asking this, there’s a good chance they want to hire a strong leader. So you need to sound like you enjoy leading and are comfortable doing more of this in the future!

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August 8, 2022

Writing a Powerful Leadership/Achievement Essay [Sample Essay]

Essays that ask you to write about significant achievements fall under the category of

what are known as behavioral or experiential questions . The basic assumption behind these questions is that past behavior is a great predictor of future behavior . They are all varieties on the theme of “Tell us about a time when you…” These questions are meant to take the measure of your managerial potential.

Let’s look at how one candidate effectively addressed this essay question from  Stanford GSB  (*this question is not from the current application):

Tell us about a time when you made a lasting impact on your organization.

This writer avoids writing about leadership in any generic way and zeroes in on the specific aspects of his contributions and their impact:

Leadership essay example: The Change Agent

When I was invited to become the Vice President and General Manager at Third Way Associates (TWA)* two years ago, the company was in financial and administrative disorder. Employee retention was poor, and TWA took too long to pay vendors because of poor communication and accounting processes. Cash flow was managed based on immediate needs rather than by the logic of budgets planned by project and city. Sloppy expense reports that were turned in with no receipts were reimbursed to employees.

TWA founders Scott W ____ and Glenn L ____ had good intentions, but spent most of their time selling sponsorships and getting new clients rather than directing and managing the company. As we begin 20XX, TWA is much healthier in every way. Under my direction, vendors are paid in an average of 20 days from date of invoice, instead of 60 days or more. Our cash flow is better administered since I introduced very specific detailed area budgets with over 125 budget lines per city. Because I can give the company founders much better stability and macromanagement vision, the three of us are able to look more to the future rather than simply put out fires.

Despite the difficult economy in 20XX, we not only retained our same clients but also signed several new client agreements for three years or more, including a two-year contract with Big Shoe Company worth $1.3 million. I’ve brought fresh accounts and industries into TWA, including ____ Airlines and Drink Y, among others. Combined, these accounts generated more than $500,000 in 20XX, and we estimate close to $1 million dollars in the following year.

Since my arrival, we have a much wider and broader sales menu which has been crucial to generate more revenue. I’ve expanded our most popular sports events to 25 cities, giving our clients new investment opportunities. These events range from recreational soccer clinic tours to professional soccer games broadcast on TV.

I also expanded our field staff, and at present we have 25 strong and reliable managers who report directly to me from each city. Despite the economy, 20XX was not a bad year for TWA, and this year promises to be even better if we continue our current strategy and continue to work as a team.

Leadership essay analysis

In every paragraph, this writer mentions concrete measures he took to introduce order to a chaotic company that was trying to grow. From instituting budgets with line items, an improved accounts payable system, and recruiting additional big-name accounts, the writer proves how his efforts strengthened the organization.

How can you maximize on your thought leadership experiences?

As you choose among your own experiences as essay material, think about these questions to help you frame answers of substance:

• What was the obstacle, challenge, or problem that you solved in this accomplishment? A tight client deadline? A complex merger transaction? A new product launch amidst fierce competition?
• What did you do to rise to the challenge you are writing about? Motivate your team to work overtime? Sell senior management on the deal’s long-term upside? Identify a marketing profile for your product that no competitor can match?
• What facts demonstrate that your intervention created a happy ending? Did your team submit the project deliverables three days early despite being 20% understaffed? Your client approved the $500 million merger, the largest ever in its industry? Your new product has 20% market share after only one year? What was the impact of your leadership?

Don’t forget about your people leadership skills

What we’ve spoken about until this point revolves mostly on skilled problem-solving, or “thought leadership.” But respected businesspeople need to be equally or even more talented at something we didn’t have a formal name for: people leadership. By effectively leading the thinking of client firms’ problems as well as motivating them to work long hours to develop solutions to these problems and collaborate with clients on implementing them, these businesspeople prove to have what it takes to be exemplary leaders.

So don’t forget to include strong elements of people leadership in your essays. Here are several to keep in mind:

• Rallying others around a vision. Did you convince your team or group to follow a specific path/solution? How did you do it? Successful clients have talked about handling dissenting opinions diplomatically or presenting their teams’ detailed quantitative evidence for a recommendation. The more you can show that you understood your audience and tailored the content and form of your message to them, the better.
• Harnessing others’ strengths – and expanding them. Did you provide team members tasks they could handle comfortably based on their capabilities, as well as opportunities to broaden their skills? For example, you may have handed your quant jock teammate the most complicated operations analysis as well as responsibility for leading a key client meeting. In this way, you leverage teammates’ strengths while helping them develop new ones.
• Getting through tough times. Did you model for your team enviable cool in pressure-cooker situations, maybe helping them keep the big-picture goal in mind or lightening the mood with humor? Did you reward teammates with praise, pizza, or both for working long into the night? Did you pitch in on others’ responsibilities as deadlines loomed? Helping your team handle stress while managing your own is a cornerstone of strong leadership.

Use your words

Another tip: Look for opportunities to incorporate strong verbs that illustrate your strengths in these areas. Good examples of leadership might incorporate several of the following:

• Establishing a goal or vision
• Obtaining buy-in
• Taking responsibility

The old adage, “Show, don’t tell,” remains a classic bit of wisdom in the writing process. Make that a guiding principle not only in your leadership/achievement essays, but throughout your application.

For personalized advice tailored just for you, check out our MBA Admissions Consulting & Editing services and work one-on-one with a pro who will help you discover your competitive advantage and use it to get accepted.

Related Resources:

• School-Specific MBA Application Essay Tips • Tone Up Your Writing: Confidence vs Arrogance • “I’m Smart, Really I Am!” Proving Character Traits in Your Essays

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Leadership Essay

27 August, 2020

12 minutes read

Author:  Richard Pircher

As a college student, you must write essays on a regular basis since the latter is one of the most common types of home assignments. All this means is that in order to get good grades and be successful with writing the papers, you need to have a sound understanding of the structure. Additionally, what you should never neglect is the variety of essay types. Indeed, your essay will significantly differ from one type to another: description essay will most likely have a structure that is slightly different from an argumentative one.

What you may have already encountered in your academic life is the work on a leadership essay. Although it sounds pretty complicated and vague, it is mostly possible to master an essay on leadership. Below is a guide for you to get an insight into this particular essay type.

What is a good leadership essay?

A good leadership essay is the one in which the essay writer has fully covered the topic of leadership and understood its core ideas. More specifically, to end up with a flawless leadership essay, you will need to indicate what makes a person a good leader. For achieving the latter, you will most likely need to conduct research and trace how a particular person reaches his or her goals. In other words, the task is to discover which actions the person undertakes, what their followers say about him or her, and how the person organizes the work. So, a leadership essay implies providing real-life success examples and further revealing them.

Above all, a good leadership essay is the one that follows a precise, clear, comprehensive structure. Structuring your essay about leadership in the most coherent way leads to a win-win situation: you have fewer troubles and barriers to writing a brilliant essay, and your teacher is able to comprehend the essay easily. This guide is what you will need to refer to to get an insight into how the flawless structure for a leadership essay looks like and how it will let you take a benefit.

How to write a Leadership essay?

To write a leadership essay that stands out, you first need to brainstorm all the ideas that you have and come up with a topic for your essay. If you are struggling with this step, you may think of some of the most influential people, read about them, and find out what makes them unique. Or, you can pick any topic which is mentioned at the end of this article. After you have chosen an issue, it is time to structure your essay appropriately.

As you already know, an essay constitutes three essential sections: introduction, main body, and conclusion. Below is the more detailed description of each of the parts.

Introduction

Of course, your leadership essay introduction will always vary depending on the topic of the essay. However, you can always begin by stating your vision of leadership regardless of the topic. Additionally, to motivate the reader and instantly catch his or her attention, you may use a quote of a famous leader, or simply a quote which you find relevant to the topic. Be aware that you should avoid outlining the essence and the role of the leadership in your introduction; leave it for the body paragraphs.

What you may also do in your leadership essay is ask a question, which will most likely intrigue the leader. Or it will at least give your reader an overview of what you will dwell on  in your essay.

Body Paragraphs

You will need to divide the main body into 3-5 paragraphs to make the structure more comprehensive. What you have to do at this point  is  give your reader a sound understanding of your ideas. Therefore, try to fit each idea in a single body paragraph so that you do not confuse your reader. Do not hesitate to indicate your examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you may explain a fact that makes a particular person you are writing about a real leader.

Also, always stick to your thesis statement and don’t forget that the body paragraphs should reveal the parts of your thesis statement.

As you may already know, you need to restate your opinion and briefly summarize all the points from the main body in conclusion. For instance, if you wrote your essay on qualities of an effective leader, state the most fundamental qualities and indicate why they matter the most. Besides, try not to copy what you have already written in the body – it is better to restate your opinion using different words. And, of course, beware adding any new and extra information; indicate only those points that you have already outlined in the text. Finally, keep in mind that it is always favorable to keep your concluding remarks short.

Leadership Essay Examples

Writing a leadership essay requires some research and time. In case you feel the necessity to go through an essay example, below is a leadership essay sample you can refer to.

Is leadership an inborn or an acquired feature?

Is everyone capable of becoming a leader, or is this ability innate? A lot of researchers have been struggling to answer this question. One assumption about leadership implies that the leader is the person who possesses particular characteristics. Another assumption claims that leaders are capable of acquiring specific features over their life span. As the evidence shows, leaders own many features that distinguish them among others and make more and more people become their followers. These might be cognitive abilities, psychological traits, professional qualities, and a lot more, and all of them will be either acquired or innate. Based on the importance of leadership qualities, such as commitment, stress resistance, and the ability to make quality decisions, it is reasonable to claim that leaders are made, not born. 

One can deem commitment as one of the top fundamental qualities of the leader. In essence, such a feature indicates that a person is passionate about the common goal, strives to be a team player, and makes every effort to reach a shared goal. As the history shows, none of the successful companies was uncoordinated by an influential, committed leader: Apple, Amazon, Microsoft – all of these companies are examples of dominant teams led by a dedicated leader. A committed leader also inspires his or her team to achieve common goals and put more effort into the shared activity. Besides, commitment is unlikely to be an innate feature; it instead comes with experience. This is so, since commitment implies dedicating oneself to the shared task, and one can reach it only via learning and continuous self-improvement.

Stress resistance is another incredibly important feature that every good leader should possess. This is because only a stress-resistant leader has sufficient capabilities to overcome any complexity and not let the anxiety and stress prevent him or her from making proper decisions. Besides, such a leader will most likely have a positive influence on the team, as long as leading by example will motivate the team members to attain the same emotional stability. What is so far familiar about stress resistance as an effective leader’s feature is that it can be either innate or attained. However, although some researchers admit that emotional stability is something one is born with, it is not entirely true; many people still put a great effort into self-improvement, changing the attitude to unfortunate situations, and so on. Therefore, being resistant to stress can be mostly attributed to a personality.

An ability to make high-quality decisions most likely determines the chances for an enterprise’s success. In particular, such quality is incredibly fundamental for a company of any size and professional orientation. Additionally, it is one of the top tasks of a good leader to make final decisions. What he or she should do implies brainstorming, discussing various opinions in the group, making forecasts, analyzing all the pros and cons. However, the leader is the one to make a final decision. Thereby, he is in charge of researching the market, discovering all the hidden truths, and analyzing the organization’s potential and capabilities to result in the most effective decision. As it flows logically from the latter, an ability to make sound quality decisions is purely a professional quality. This leads to the conclusion that one has to work hard to become a genuine leader and master the skill of making effective decisions. 

Overall, the leader may possess a multitude of different skills and master them perfectly. However, what has so far become transparent is that any leader, regardless of which team he leads, must possess three essential qualities. These qualities are commitment to the common goal, ability to handle and resist stress, and, finally, an ability to make effective decisions. All of the three qualities are most likely to be acquired over a lifetime. The statement below leads to the conclusion that even though some qualities can be innate, most are not the ones that leaders are born with. Hence, this answers an essential question: leadership feature is acquired, and not necessarily inborn.  

20 leadership essay topics

When coming up with your next leadership essay topic, it is imperative to brainstorm ideas and think of what leadership might be related to. If you are struggling with a topic of the importance of leadership essay or any relevant type of essay, you may quickly take a look at some of the possible topics we prepared for you:

• What are the main qualities of the leader?
• Successful Time Management as a feature of an effective leader
• The role that rhetoric plays in leadership
• The most exceptional leader in the history of the 20-th century
• The role of female leadership
• What are the challenges of the leader of the 21-st century?
• How college helps students develop leadership skills?
• Qualities of the leader that motivate people to follow them 
• Top things to avoid doing to become a team leader
• Examples of effective and ineffective leadership in the history
• Top techniques for developing leadership skills
• The interconnection of creativity and leadership 
• Is a university’s role fundamental in developing leadership skills?
• Dictatorship as an anti-example of leadership
• Liberal vs Authoritative leadership: which one works better?
• The influence of the leader’s role model on the followers’ mindset
• Main difficulties that the new leader may face in a new team
• Leadership of today vs leadership of the past: what has changed?
• Reasons why I want to become a member if the leadership program
• The role of cognitive abilities for the leader 

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How to write an essay about leadership

Leadership essays, or essays where you are asked about your work as a leader in your school or community, are not as common as you might imagine. Given all of the emphasis schools and clubs put on leadership roles and titles, essays asking students to dive deeply into this work are actually pretty rare in college applications. That said, it is important to consider leadership very broadly! You do not need to be the President or Founder of a club to write an effective essay for one of these prompts. In fact, sometimes the less common considerations and definitions of “leadership” can make for more compelling essays.

Example Leadership Essay Questions:

• U of California: Describe an example of your leadership and a way that you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
• U of Texas: How do you show leadership in your life? How do you see yourself being a leader at UT Austin?

LET'S BREAK DOWN THE ESSENTIAL POINTS YOU NEED TO HIT WHEN RESPONDING TO THIS SUPPLEMENT:

Leadership is more than titles – it is important, when you consider questions like these, that you reflect on activities where you have contributed to an accomplishment and learned something (about yourself, about your community). In fact, it would be a more powerful essay to reflect on a leadership contribution that was not connected to a title of leadership, but where you learned something important, than to reflect upon your activity where your leadership title is big “in name only.”

Sometimes leadership happens within your family – you do not need to limit your focus to leadership that happens during your school day.

You can consider this essay happening in two distinct ways: narrative structure – where you present a challenge you faced in a leadership role, actions you did that had an impact, and lessons you learned (skills you gained); OR montage structure – where you take on two different activities that both taught you a common lesson about leadership. Don’t muddle these together! Decide whether you want to write linearly (and chronologically in time) about one activity or if you want to write non-linearly about one leadership lesson.

THINGS TO AVOID:

Try to stay away from topics where your leadership takes the reader on a familiar journey. If you want to write about your leadership on an athletic team, that is wonderful, but try to avoid an essay about how your leadership of your team during The Big Game contributed to (winning/losing) The Big Game and the team becoming closer and being “one-strong-team.” Does that feel familiar to you? That’s because college admissions folks will have read thousands of essays that tell this type of story. If you select a common team to lead, take your essay in an uncommon direction.

Avoid lengthy introductions that take away from your word count and don’t actually support your essay response.

Avoid overemphasis on one aspect that detracts from your ability to talk about the other aspects of your story. In other words, if you spend half of your words outlining the challenge you faced, you only have ¼ of the remaining words to discuss your actions and ¼ to discuss the lessons you learned. This is not a good balance!

ADDITIONAL TIPS AND TRICKS:

• What did you do?
• What problems did you solve?
• What lessons did you learn?
• What impact did you have?
• How have you applied these lessons?

Answering these questions (and in this order) actually builds you an outline for this essay!

Do you have an extracurricular activity where the character count really limits you in terms of describing your work and impact? Consider using this essay to further highlight your contributions!

Do you have an extracurricular activity that speaks directly toward your intended major or field of study? This might be a great time to make your application stand out by sharing your leadership and contributions to this field! What problems have you solved? How can you use this prompt to share these solutions?

Elise holds a BA in Political Philosophy from Williams College and an MEd in Administration & Social Policy from Harvard. She has spent the past twenty years working in top-tier independent schools.

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Home — Essay Samples — Business — Leadership — My Leadership Experience And Its Importance

My Leadership Experience and Its Importance

• Categories: Effective Leadership Leadership Leadership and Management

About this sample

Words: 465 |

Updated: 22 November, 2023

Words: 465 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited

• Avolio, B. J., & Gardner, W. L. (2005). Authentic leadership development: Getting to the root of positive forms of leadership. The Leadership Quarterly, 16(3), 315-338. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.leaqua.2005.03.001
• Burns, J. M. (1978). Leadership. Harper & Row.
• Collins, J. (2001). Good to great: Why some companies make the leap... and others don't. HarperCollins.
• Goleman, D. (2000). Leadership that gets results. Harvard Business Review, 78(2), 78-90.
• Kouzes, J. M., & Posner, B. Z. (2007). The leadership challenge. John Wiley & Sons.
• Northouse, P. G. (2018). Leadership: Theory and practice. Sage Publications.
• Peters, T., & Waterman, R. H. (2004). In search of excellence: Lessons from America's best-run companies. Harper Collins.
• Sinek, S. (2011). Start with why: How great leaders inspire everyone to take action. Penguin.
• Stone, A. G., Russell, R. F., & Patterson, K. (2004). Transformational versus servant leadership: A difference in leader focus. Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 25(4), 349-361. https://doi.org/10.1108/01437730410538671
• Yukl, G. (2010). Leadership in organizations. Pearson.

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How to Answer "Describe Your Leadership Experience?" (With Sample Answers)

by Robert Tyler

Published at: December 14, 2023

When you're in a job interview and the question "Describe Your Leadership Experience" is posed, it's your cue to showcase how you've effectively guided a team or project. Your leadership experience can stem from professional roles, academic projects, volunteer work, or even personal initiatives.

Employers ask this to gauge not just your direct experience in leading others but also to understand your approach to leadership, problem-solving, and teamwork.

To prepare, reflect on scenarios where you've demonstrated leadership qualities---think about the outcomes, your actions, and the impact you made on your team. It's essential to articulate your experience with concrete examples that highlight your ability to inspire, motivate, and achieve goals collaboratively.

Why Employers Ask This?

When employers ask you to describe your leadership experience , they're looking for evidence that you can handle responsibility and guide a team. It's an invitation for you to showcase specific traits and competencies that are crucial for management roles, such as decision-making, delegation, and communication skills.

• They want to assess your understanding of what leadership truly involves. This question ensures that your leadership style aligns with the company's culture and goals.
• It's also a chance to demonstrate how your experiences have prepared you for managing projects and people. Employers gauge your past behavior as a predictor of your future performance.
• Through your response, they are evaluating your ability to: Solve problems under pressure. Motivate and inspire others. Navigate challenges and conflicts within a team.
• Finally, they're looking for examples of results ---how your leadership led to positive outcomes. Your ability to quantify these outcomes can set you apart as a candidate who drives measurable success.

Remember to provide context, action, and result when describing your leadership experience to paint a clear picture for the potential employer.

How To Answer This?

When preparing to answer questions about your leadership experience, focus on constructing a concise yet impactful narrative that showcases your capabilities and vision as a leader.

Structuring Your Answer

Begin with a brief introduction that outlines your overall leadership style and approach. Structuring your answer should include a progression from past roles to the present, indicating the growth and development of your management skills . Use clear transitions to guide the interviewer through your journey, ensuring each point is relevant and adds value to your story.

• Opening : "In my various leadership roles..."
• Body : "...from managing small projects to overseeing teams..."
• Conclusion : "...and that's how I've evolved as a leader."

Providing Examples

Effective leaders demonstrate their influence and ability to make decisions that benefit the team and community . Provide specific examples from past experiences to illustrate your impact. Use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) to present your examples methodically.

• Situation : Set the context for your story.
• Task : Describe the challenge at hand.
• Action : Explain the actions you took.
• Result : Share the outcomes of your actions.

Highlighting Achievements

Be clear about what achievements you're most proud of and how they reflect your leadership qualities. Whether it's improving employee satisfaction, increasing efficiency, or achieving key milestones, select achievements that show tangible results and your ability to lead a team successfully.

• Increased Productivity : "Led a team that improved output by 25%..."
• Employee Development : "...by implementing a mentorship program."

Reflecting on Lessons Learned

Conclude with a discussion of the lessons learned and how they've refined your leadership approach. This shows your capacity for self-reflection and the value you place on feedback and continuous improvement. Share insights that have driven you to become a more effective leader.

• Adaptability : "I learned the importance of being adaptable..."
• Mentorship : "...and the role it plays in guiding and supporting employees ."

Sample Answers

When you're asked to describe your leadership experience during an interview, it's important to provide specific examples that showcase your skills and impact. Below you'll find three sample answers that demonstrate different aspects of effective leadership.

Sample Answer 1:

Project Leadership _"In my previous role as a Project Manager at TechCorp, I led a team of 10 through the successful launch of a new software product. My approach involved setting clear objectives, maintaining open communication, and encouraging team collaboration. _ Key results included completing the project 2 weeks ahead of schedule and under budget, which boosted our department's annual performance metrics significantly."

Sample Answer 2:

Volunteer Leadership "As the Volunteer Coordinator for the local food bank, I spearheaded a campaign to increase volunteer retention rates. I implemented a mentorship program that paired new volunteers with experienced ones, and organized monthly team-building activities. The result was a 40% increase in volunteer retention over six months, enhancing operational efficiency and community outreach."

Sample Answer 3:

Leadership in a Crisis "When our sales department faced an unexpected resignation of a key team leader, I had to step up immediately to ensure continuity. I prioritized employee morale and restructured the workflow to accommodate for the change. Through consistent coaching and clear, temporary role distributions, I was able to maintain team performance, resulting in steady sales figures during the transition period."

If you are searching for a remote job and need help finding where to look? DailyRemote is a remote job board with the latest jobs in various categories to help you. Join like-minded people in our LinkedIn and Facebook community.

Explore Other Interview Questions

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How to Describe Leadership Experience in an Interview

Are you applying for a job that will involve managing other people? If so, there’s a high chance that you will be asked to describe your leadership experience in your job interview.

Questions about your prior leadership experience help interviewers to learn how you have acted in past situations where you had to take charge. While you may not have a lot of professional leadership experience, such as expertise in managing large teams, you’ll likely have a few examples that you can mention.

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In this guide, we’re going to discuss four ways to describe your leadership experience in an  interview . We’ll also walk through three examples that you can use to get a better sense of how you can describe this experience.

Why Am I Being Asked About Leadership Experience?

If you are applying for a leadership position, employers often ask about your past leadership roles or experience.

For instance, if you are applying for a job as a senior  full-stack web developer , you may be asked about a time when you led a project. This is because being a senior developer involves managing projects and taking lead on new initiatives.

Team members who have leadership abilities are more likely to stay committed to a task. They also develop better relationships with their team members and co-workers.

When you are asked to describe your leadership experience, you should be able to mention an example or two of when you exercised your leadership or management skills. For instance, you may want to discuss a time when you led a big project at your last job. You can also mention a time when you managed a few employees and what type of leadership you practiced. These will give the interviewer a better sense of how you have responded to situations that require good leadership in the past.

How to Describe Your Leadership Experience

There are a few ways that an employer could ask about your leadership skills.

They may ask you to “Describe your leadership experience.” Or, they could be more specific and ask you to “Give an example of a time when you demonstrated leadership to navigate a conflict in the workplace.” However the question is phrased, the interviewer wants to hear more about your experience exercising leadership skills.

Here are five tips that you can use to strategize your answer to this common interview question: 

• Reflect on your past leadership experiences 
• Use the STAR technique
• Explain how you have worked well with others 
• Describe a time you went above and beyond
• Mention statistics

Now that you know the five tips, let’s take a closer look at how you can implement each one in your next interview. 

#1: Reflect on your past leadership opportunities

Before you go into the interview, take some time to think about when you have exercised leadership skills in the past.

Have you taken lead over a project at work? Have you had to step up to ensure a project stays on track? Have you managed other people in the workplace? These situations would all involve some degree of leadership.

When you are asked this question, there is no need to discuss an example from the workplace. If you have practiced leadership through a volunteer project or through a hobby, then you could mention an example from that project. Suppose you are part of your local Rotary club. You could talk about how you took leadership over a fundraising initiative.

Some other leadership roles and experiences that you can mention include: 

• Travel abroad 
• Social activities and groups (book clubs, theater, dinner groups) 
• Volunteer/nonprofit leadership roles 
• Student government and organizations 
• Passion projects 

#2: Use the STAR technique

The STAR interview technique is a structured process used to answer  behavioral interview questions . STAR stands for Situation, Task, Action, and Result. You can use this framework to phrase your past work experiences in a way that adequately demonstrates your skills and how you helped solve a particular problem.

Here are the main components of the STAR framework:

• S ituation: Explain the context of a problem.
• T ask: How were you involved in solving a problem? If you worked on a team, talk about your specific contributions to the team.
• A ction: What action did you take to solve the problem?
• R esult: What was the outcome of the action you took?

Using the STAR framework will help you better structure your answers, and it will ensure that you give clear and specific examples in your answers.

#3: Explain how you have worked well with others

One core aspect of leadership is being able to work well with others. Without good relationships with team members and co-workers, you cannot be an effective leader.

In your interview, you may want to spend some time discussing an example of when you worked well in a team. This example should include some mention of how you took a leadership or management role in that team.

Suppose you were responsible for leading a project at your last job. You could explain how you kept the project on track and developed closer relationships with teammates by evaluating which tasks they would be best qualified for. 

In addition, good leaders know when to acknowledge team effort. An interviewer will not just want to hear about how you succeeded, but also how you helped other people succeed in their roles.

#4: Describe a time you went above and beyond 

Keep in mind that leadership can be exhibited in something as simple as spotting a problem at work and finding a solution. Employers will appreciate any time that you went above and beyond the basic requirements of your job. You don’t have to have served as a project manager to describe a time that you were a leader. If you found a way to make workflow more efficient, better execute a task, or help new members of the team, employers will love to hear these examples of leadership.

#5: Mention statistics

There is no better way to exemplify your leadership skills than to mention statistics or other quantifiable outputs. Statistics give you the ability to clearly show how your leadership skills have had a direct impact on a business.

Suppose you were in charge of boosting retention rates on a consumer application. You could talk about how your leadership led to a specific percentage-point increase in retention over a given time frame. 

Examples of Leadership Experience in a Job Interview

Describing your leadership roles can be difficult, especially if you are applying for your first job that involves managing people. To help you discuss your leadership experience, we have prepared a few sample answers you can use to prepare for your interview.

“In my last job, I was a marketing associate for a consumer company. After noticing poor performance on one of our social media marketing campaigns, I was asked to help coordinate the creation of a new social media campaign.

"Career Karma entered my life when I needed it most and quickly helped me match with a bootcamp. Two months after graduating, I found my dream job that aligned with my values and goals in life!"

Venus, Software Engineer at Rockbot

To respond to this task, I first met with everyone I would be working with to hear their ideas and facilitate an open discussion on how we should move forward. Then, I worked with those people to assign tasks relevant to their interests and expertise. My manager liked my approach to this project and gave me full authority over designing and launching the new campaign.

My approach to leadership made other people feel confident sharing ideas, and as a result many team members stepped up and outlined great ideas that we implemented. In the end, the marketing campaign led to a 15% increase in web page views when the quarter ended.”

“In my role as an accounts manager at Henderson & Peters, I was responsible for managing a number of clients’ accounts and overseeing the rest of our accounts team.

I used my experience as an accounts associate to determine which methods of managing accounts work effectively. Then, I explained these methods in a handbook that I shared with my team members. I then facilitated feedback from those team members, which helped me make a number of improvements and expand the list of best practices in the handbook.

Upon receiving the handbook, a number of our accounts associates reached out to say they appreciated the ability to share their thoughts. In addition, a number of associates scheduled calls with me later on to discuss how they could implement the techniques I shared. After two quarters, our account retention rate had been boosted by 10%.”

“In my spare time, I have been volunteering for a local non-profit that builds websites for candidates for local government positions. When I joined as a volunteer, I was put in charge of improving the speed of a core project.

To tackle this challenge, I conducted research into different ways to optimize the speeds of a website using the technologies in which the project had been built. I then discussed my findings with the head developer, who approved a few of my suggestions. The head developer asked if I could take the lead on implementing a few of the optimizations I suggested.

This led to me working with other developers to make enhancements to the site. To start, I scheduled a meeting to get the broader team’s thoughts on my plans and to create a timeline. Then, we implemented my suggestions as a team, which took a total of three days.

After the project was over, rendering speeds on the project improved by 10%.”

Even if you are not applying for a management position, having leadership skills is important. Whether you want to be an accounts manager or an  entry-level accountant , leadership skills will come up on your job at some point. 

If you are asked to discuss past leadership opportunities, think back to a time when you had to step up as a leader and work with others. Then, you can use the STAR framework to help you think through the situation, how you responded, and evaluate the result of your work.

Being able to effectively discuss your leadership experience is a good way to set yourself apart from other candidates in a job interview process. This will help you move one step closer to getting hired!

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Personal Experiences with Leadership Styles Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

The first person in my life who used an autocratic method of leading people on me, as I realized retrospectively, was my first gym coach. Michael was a man with a fit body in his early middle-aged, and, as I remember, he was probably 35 or 37 years old. He believed that athletic spirit, an optimistic attitude towards training, and moral endurance in gym newcomers could only be nurtured using an authoritarian approach. However, Michael was also one of the kindest, most compassionate, and most helpful individuals when he was outside of his professional setting.

I think I met my first democratic leader in high school, and she was a math teacher. Her name was Jessica, and she treated everyone equally and fairly while providing us with mathematical knowledge. Interestingly, she did not see us as students but as younger colleagues or coworkers looking to learn new computing methods and math facts. As I see it, the teaching profession itself, by its design, makes people use democratic leadership techniques and means to influence people and coordinate and improve their performance.

I got my first experience of being a subordinate under laissez-faire leadership during my first job as a cashier at Wendy’s. Cassie, a restaurant manager, was the leader, or rather the non-leader, who applied this methodology. As Miles and Snow (2003) would say, she was a bad example of reactor archetype with very low exploitation and exploitation. Maybe she also was an analyzer, but, to be honest, being a subordinate of her was an unpleasant experience because Cassie was a laissez-faire leader with zero accountability.

Analyzing the Three Leadership Styles

Michael and Jessica tried to influence me and succeeded, but the same cannot be said for Cassie. Michael influenced me by establishing tight control over what exercises I do on a given day and how I do them. Jessica developed a semi-friendly, semi-professional relationship between her and me, an equal dialogue between student and teacher. Miles and Snow (2003) would define Michael as a defender and Jessica as a prospector. As far as I recollect, Cassie did not try to lead other employees or me. According to Northouse (2020), this is typical behavior and interaction of laissez-faire leaders. Michael was just regarding the infliction of rewards and punishments; he used both measures equally to motivate me to do the exercises correctly. In contrast, my math teacher tried to avoid punishing students but actively rewarded them for academic excellence. Instead, she tried to point the other students and me in the right direction. Cassie punished and encouraged the staff strictly according to the company’s rules.

Behind Michael’s autocratic leadership style was a very supportive person. He used such authoritarian means as “power distance” to help me become fitter (Pizzolitto et al., 2022). Jessica tried to hide that she was a hierarchical power through communication when she taught us, and Cassie did nothing with the strengths of being a leader. I remember that there were people who couldn’t stand Michael’s attitude. The other students and I respected Jessica, and every Wendy’s coworker I knew was indifferent to Cassie. Paradoxically, Michael’s autocratic leadership proved the most productive for me. According to Jin et al. (2022), this style has zero direct effect on athletes. The only evidence is this anecdotal one; I became leaner and more muscular.

Self-reflecting on Personal Leadership Style

My favorite way of organizing and coordinating employees is through democratic leadership. I enjoy negotiating with people, inspiring them, and receiving and learning from their perspectives. Judging by the feedback, people under my direction always feel optimistic, encouraged and productive, so I know my style is effective. I think further development of the skills of eloquence and networking can strengthen me as a professional leader.

Jin, H., Kim, S., Love, A., Jin, Y., & Zhao, J. (2022). Effects of leadership style on coach-athlete relationship, athletes’ motivations, and athlete satisfaction. Frontiers in Psychology, 13 (1012953), 1-14.

Miles, R. E., & Snow, C. C. (2003). Organizational strategy, structure, and process . Stanford University Press.

Northouse, P. G. (2020). Introduction to leadership: Concepts and practice (5 th ed.). SAGE Publications Inc.

Pizzolitto, E., Verna, I., & Venditti, M. (2022). Authoritarian leadership styles and performance: A systematic literature review and research agenda . Management Review Quarterly , 1-31. Web.

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Leadership Experience: 5 Example Answers for Job Interviews

By Status.net Editorial Team on August 2, 2023 — 9 minutes to read

• Leadership Experience: Example Answers Part 1
• Different Types of Leadership Experience Part 2
• How to Answer Behavioral Leadership Interview Questions Part 3
• How to Demonstrate Leadership Skills in an Interview Part 4
• How can freshers respond to leadership questions in interviews? Part 5
• How to Answer “What is your personal best example…” Part 6
• Common Additional Leadership Interview Questions Part 7

Part 1 Leadership Experience: Example Answers

When talking about your prior leadership experience during a job interview, it is important to focus on specific examples that highlight your leadership skills and achievements. As an applicant, you want to present your past experiences in a way that is relevant to the job you are applying for, demonstrating your ability to lead and manage teams, make decisions, and solve problems.

• Project Management:  One way to showcase your leadership experience is by discussing your past involvement in project management. Explain how you handled a team, set goals, delegated tasks, and ensured everything ran smoothly. This gives the interviewer an understanding of how you can take charge, manage resources, and achieve results in a professional setting. Example: “ In my previous role as a marketing manager, I led a team of five to create and execute a successful social media campaign. We set realistic goals, and by efficiently delegating tasks, we were able to reach our targets and increase engagement by 25%.”
• Conflict Resolution:  As a leader, you’ll inevitably face challenges that require conflict resolution skills. During the interview, share a scenario where you successfully mediated a disagreement, facilitated a compromise, or helped find a solution to a problem. Example: “ When two team members disagreed over the direction of a project, I held a meeting to discuss their perspectives. After listening to both sides, I guided them to find a solution that satisfied both parties and allowed the project to move forward.”
• Mentoring and Coaching:  Showcasing your ability to guide, support, and develop others is crucial in displaying your leadership potential. Talk about a time when you mentored or coached a colleague, helping them grow professionally or learn a new skill. Example: “ I mentored a junior team member who was struggling to learn a new software tool. I provided one-on-one guidance, created a learning plan, and monitored their progress. As a result, they were able to master the tool and become a valuable contributor to the team.”
• Decision-Making Abilities:  Lastly, a crucial part of leadership experience is the ability to make tough decisions. Describe a situation where you made a difficult decision that resulted in a positive outcome. Example: “ While managing a tight deadline, we realized that a critical component of the project wasn’t meeting expectations. I made the tough call to change the scope and redirected our focus, ultimately leading to a better final product and client satisfaction.”

Part 2 Different Types of Leadership Experience

When preparing for a job interview, it’s important to think about various types of leadership experiences you can draw upon. This will help demonstrate your ability to lead and work with others effectively.

Here are some common types of leadership experiences and scenarios that you can use as examples in your interview:

Work Experience:  Highlight any management or supervisory roles you’ve held at previous jobs. Talk about how you delegated tasks, guided team members, and resolved conflicts. Emphasize your ability to make decisions and lead others towards a common goal.

Sports:  If you’ve played on a sports team or coached one, describe how you worked with your teammates to achieve victory, develop strategies, and improve skills. Your ability to collaborate in high-pressure situations demonstrates your leadership abilities.

School and University:  Student organizations, clubs, and groups provide excellent opportunities to gain leadership experience. Share your experiences as a club president, group leader, or event coordinator, showcasing your accomplishments and how you engaged with club members.

Volunteering and Community Involvement:  Helping a local nonprofit or community organization can give you valuable experience in leading others. Talk about how you organized events, mobilized volunteers, or fundraised for a cause you’re passionate about. This not only showcases your leadership skills but also your dedication to making a positive impact.

Internships:  If you’ve had any internships, discuss the ways you took initiative and demonstrated leadership in your assigned tasks. Your ability to step up and take charge while learning the ropes shows your potential as a future leader in the workplace.

Teaching or Tutoring:  Instructing others, whether as a mentor or tutor, is another form of leadership. Share how you helped students grasp complex concepts or improve their skills, effectively managing their progress and adjusting your teaching methods as needed.

Cultural Activities:  Leading cultural clubs or organizing events focused on fostering cultural awareness can demonstrate your ability to work with diverse groups and facilitate understanding. These experiences highlight your adaptability and ability to navigate diverse social and professional environments.

Student Government:  Participation in student government can play a vital role in your leadership journey. Discuss your accomplishments as a student representative or in other elected positions, showing how you advocated for student concerns and helped govern the organization.

Hobbies:  Your hobbies can sometimes showcase your leadership abilities. If you’ve led a group or team in pursuing a shared interest, such as organizing a photography club or coordinating outdoor excursions, this highlights your ability to bring people together and inspire them to achieve goals.

Part 3 How to Answer Behavioral Leadership Interview Questions

When facing behavioral leadership interview questions, it’s important to showcase your past leadership experiences effectively. To help you shine during your interview, consider using the STAR technique:

1. Situation:  Begin by describing the context of a specific event where you demonstrated leadership. Set the scene and explain the challenge you faced. For example, “When I was a team leader for a software development project, our team was struggling to meet deadlines due to frequent changes in client requirements.”

2. Task:  Next, explain your responsibilities in that situation. Be concise and focus on the main objective. For instance, “As the team leader, my task was to ensure the project was completed on time, while also maintaining a high level of quality and client satisfaction.”

3. Action:  Outline the steps you took to address the challenge as a leader. Be specific and describe your thought process, the decisions you made, and any resources you utilized. For example, “I recognized that our team needed better communication with the client, so I organized weekly progress meetings. I also implemented a more agile development approach to adapt to changes more efficiently.”

4. Result:  Finally, showcase the positive outcome of your actions. Quantify your success, if possible, and highlight what you learned from the experience. For instance, “As a result of the improvements I made, the software development project was completed two weeks ahead of schedule. Our team received positive feedback from the client, and our agile approach increased overall productivity by 30%.”

Related: How to Answer 11 Common Behavioral Interview Questions

Part 4 How to Demonstrate Leadership Skills in an Interview

• First, prepare examples beforehand from your previous work experience. Think about instances where you played a crucial role in leading a team, inspiring team members, or managing resources. Be specific about the projects and explain the challenges your team faced and how you overcame them.
• Second, discuss how you’ve utilized feedback from team members to improve your leadership skills. Explain the importance of communication in addressing issues, encouraging suggestions, and valuing diverse perspectives. Mention a time when you delegated tasks effectively, ensuring workload was balanced and team members felt supported.
• Next, express how proper planning has led to success in your past experiences. Illustrate how you’ve set clear goals, developed strategies, and executed plans with the confidence necessary to guide the team. Sharing these examples will demonstrate your ability to manage resources and make quick decisions.
• Consider talking about different leadership styles you’ve adopted. Explain how you adjust your style depending on the situation, the project, or the team’s needs. For example, you may have used a more coaching-oriented style when mentoring team members, while choosing a democratic style when seeking input for decision-making.
• Finally, share how you motivate and inspire others. Describe techniques you’ve employed to encourage team members and help them grow professionally. This can include offering praise for achievements or providing opportunities for skill development.

Frequently Asked Questions

Part 5 how can freshers respond to leadership questions in interviews.

As a fresher, you can draw on your experience from extracurricular activities, internships, or volunteer work. Discuss leadership roles you may have filled or situations in which you demonstrated leadership qualities, such as group projects in school, coordinating events for a club, or leading a team in a local sports league.

“As a fresher, I understand that I may not have a lot of professional experience to draw upon when it comes to leadership questions in interviews. However, I have been involved in several extracurricular activities and internships where I have had the opportunity to showcase my leadership skills. For example, in my final year of college, I was the team leader for a group project where I was responsible for delegating tasks, coordinating meetings, and ensuring that everyone was working towards the same goal. I also volunteered as a coordinator for a local charity event, where I was responsible for managing a team of volunteers and ensuring that everything ran smoothly. These experiences have helped me develop my leadership skills and I am confident that I can bring these qualities to any role that I take on.”

Part 6 How to Answer “What is your personal best example of showcasing leadership?”

Think about a situation where you faced challenges, yet managed to achieve success by using your leadership skills. This could be something like managing a group of volunteers for a charitable event, where you had to overcome logistical issues and motivate everyone involved to ensure the event’s success.

“My personal best example of showcasing leadership was when I was tasked with managing a team of volunteers for a charity event. We faced several challenges along the way, such as logistical issues and a lack of resources. However, I was able to use my leadership skills to motivate the team and ensure that everyone was working towards the same goal. I delegated tasks effectively, communicated clearly with the team, and provided support and encouragement when needed. As a result, we were able to overcome the obstacles and successfully organize a memorable event that raised a significant amount of money for the charity.”

Part 7 What are some common additional leadership interview questions and sample answers?

• Describe a time when you had to lead a group through a difficult situation. “In my previous role, our team faced a tight deadline for a high-stakes project. I organized a planning session and delegated tasks to ensure everyone was aware of their responsibilities. Through consistent communication and effective time-management, we successfully completed the project.”
• How do you handle conflicts within your team? “I approach conflicts with a level-headed attitude, working to understand both sides of the issue. I encourage open communication and facilitate discussions to resolve the conflict and get back on track.”

Related: How to Manage Conflict in the Workplace [with Examples]

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Leadership Experience Essay Sample For MBA Application

EssayEdge > Blog > Leadership Experience Essay Sample For MBA Application

Here, you can find an example of leadership experience essay. Look through to find out the main specificity of this type of admission writing.

MBA Sample Essay Question: Choose a recent experience in which you acted as a leader. Briefly outline the situation then describe your leadership role, how you were effective and what you learned.

My most significant leadership experience occurred during a recent Bain & Company project for a major telecom firm in Brazil. I was assigned to lead 25 client staff members—all of them much older than me—in evaluating the firm’s 584 dealers on a tight deadline. I must confess I was initially frightened by the task, since my peers would be counting on a recently arrived consultant.

Yet the team was excited about the project. To leverage this motivation, I delegated as much responsibility as possible. During one meeting, for instance, we were discussing what kind of information we needed from our dealers when one member claimed he would not be able to translate into practice the ideas I was proposing. Realizing that he would lose motivation if I simply told him what to do, I let him design the part of the evaluation sheet he was complaining about. He did a great job and became one of the team’s most active members.

To follow our progress closely, I divided the project into four parts. After each part was completed, I evaluated the results and reported them to the group. Moreover, I always encouraged my peers to celebrate their achievements. Combining these incentives allowed me to show them that, although their performance had been fine, they needed to make an even greater effort to complete the project successfully.

I quickly earned the respect of the team: members often asked for my opinion and informed me about the latest results. I believe that this development was largely due to my ability to recognize that people do their best when they share responsibility for the outcome of a project. More importantly, I discovered that successful leadership is closely related to the capacity to motivate others through clear and continuous communication.

Need help? Check out EssayEdge editing services:

You can also search for more examples of leadership experience essays in our blog.

An MBA application essay is a golden opportunity to showcase your leadership skills. We want you to use this opportunity wisely so that we share our recommendations and essay samples with you. If you really want to succeed in your application, let our MBA essay editing service review your paper. Use our feedback wisely and improve your writing.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, leadership college essay examples.

Hey there! I'm a junior in high school, and I'm starting to think about my college essays. I want to write about my leadership experiences but I need some inspiration. Does anyone have any examples of successful college essays that talk about leadership and can give me ideas on how to structure mine?

Hi! It's awesome that you're starting to think about your college essays early, and writing about leadership experiences can be a great topic. You can indeed find an example of a leadership essay, written in response to one of the UC system's Personal Insight Questions, on CollegeVine's blog: https://blog.collegevine.com/university-of-california-essay-examples. The post also contains analysis of what the writer did well, and any aspects that could have been made even better.

I can also give you some general examples of topics that can anchor a strong leadership essay. Remember, overall the key is to pick an experience that stands out and genuinely reflects who you are.

1. Leading a community project: You could write about a time when you took the initiative to create or lead a community project, such as organizing a neighborhood cleanup or starting a tutoring program for underprivileged kids. Focus on your motivation for starting the project, the challenges you faced along the way, and how you addressed those challenges. End by reflecting on the impact the project had on both you and the community.

2. Being a mentor or role model: Think about a time when you stepped up to mentor or support someone in need, whether a younger sibling, a teammate, or a neighborhood kid. Describe the relationship and why you decided to take on that responsibility. Explain the qualities that you demonstrated in your mentorship and how you helped the person grow or overcome challenges.

3. Overcoming adversity in a leadership role: If you've been in a situation where you faced a significant challenge as a leader (such as dealing with conflict within a club or managing a complicated project), you could share that experience. Detail the situation, the steps you took to address the problem, and the outcome. Reflect on the lessons you learned from grappling with that adversity and how the experience has shaped your approach to leadership.

4. An unconventional form of leadership: Don't limit yourself to structured roles or titles. Sometimes, leadership can be demonstrated in unexpected ways, such as by guiding your friends out of the woods after getting lost on a hike. Describe an example where you took charge or influenced others, even if you didn't have an official title, and how that experience has shaped your understanding of leadership.

Remember to keep the essay focused on a specific experience rather than covering multiple instances of leadership. Add personal reflections and insights to make your essay genuinely unique. It's essential to showcase your personality, beliefs, and growth as a leader.

Finally, if you want to be sure your leadership skills are being presented clearly, consider taking advantage of CollegeVine's Free Peer Essay Review Tool, or submitting your essay for a paid review by an expert college admissions advisor on CollegeVine's marketplace. Sometimes, a more objective look at your essay from someone who doesn't already know you can give you the best sense of how well you're communicating your points.

Good luck with your essay writing!

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12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

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What are the UC Personal Insight Question Prompts for 2022-23?

It's a mistake to think of the UC Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) as typical essays you'd write for a class.

Rather, the PIQs are a set of eight open-ended questions asked by the UC app. You must choose exactly four questions to respond to, and each response should be no more than 350 words.

Let's go over the UC Personal Insight Question prompts:

• Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
• Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
• What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
• Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
• Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
• Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
• What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
• Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

It can be helpful to see how other students responded to the UC Personal Insight Questions.

And since UCLA is one of the hardest UC's to get into, along with UC Berkeley , students that get accepted tend to write outstanding essay responses to the PIQs.

18 UCLA Personal Insight Question Examples

Here are the 18 best UCLA accepted essays that worked written by accepted students for each Personal Insight Question prompt #1-8.

• UCLA Example Essay #1
• UCLA Example Essay #2
• UCLA Example Essay #3: Violin
• UCLA Example Essay #4

UCLA Example Essay #5: Team Player

• UCLA Example Essay #6: Flute
• UCLA Example Essay #7: Optimism
• UCLA Example Essay #8
• UCLA Example Essay #9
• UCLA Example Essay #10
• UCLA Example Essay #11
• UCLA Example Essay #12

UCLA Example Essay #13: Computer Science

Ucla example essay #14: korean big toes.

• UCLA Example Essay #15

UCLA Example Essay #16: LGBT

• UCLA Example Essay #17

UCLA Example Essay #18: Being Short

Ucla example essay #1: orchestra leadership.

UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

In my freshman year of high school, I had enrolled in the String Orchestra Advanced Class which was mixed in with the Beginning class. I was the only person with experience, seven years in the Violin at the time, while most of the students in the class were beginners. I got class elected, then re-elected as President my Freshman and Sophomore years, and was First Violin, then First Viola Chair.

My first year consisted of myself and the instructor teaching the basics of each instrument. Learning a new instrument is frustrating, and there were times where older students in the class would get frustrated and unhappy that a Freshman knew more than they did.

As a leader I had to make sure I did not keep a separation between myself and my classmates. Therefore, my Sophomore year, I changed my instrument to the Viola.

By showing my classmates that I too was a beginner, and that I too had to learn because I had a new instrument -inspired the class to learn as well. My classmates no longer saw me as someone who told people to practice and not give up, yet did not have to practice or struggle themselves, but instead, as someone who was there practicing, and struggling along with them.

The Orchestra program at my school started my Freshman year as an experimental class, but the school ended the class after my Sophomore year. Though unfortunate, in the two years of its existence, my classmates went from being novices, to performers, where in the last year of the program, we performed many times for school events and finally in an orchestra conference in my Sophomore year, where judges praised our Orchestra's technique and cohesiveness.

After the class got cut, many of my classmates continued to pursue music independently, or in the District Orchestra. It is a wonderful feeling for me to see my former classmates -to this day- performing, and even teaching others, knowing that I was there when their journeys in music first began, and I look forward to seeing their musical pursuits in the future.

Why This Essay Works:

• Tells a Story: Gives context and explains how you got this leadership position. By explaining a backstory, it reveals your motivations and what drives you.
• Shows Takeaways and Lessons Learned: It's not enough to just talk about your achievements. Admissions officers are more interested in why they matter to you, and how you had an impact on others.

What They Might Improve:

• Fix Capitalization: It's not necessary to capitalize improper nouns like "violin", "viola", and "orchestra".
• Sentence Flow: Make sure your sentences aren't too long and don't have unnecessary breaks, which can interrupt the flow.

UCLA Example Essay #2: Volunteer Leadership

My group and I spent a total of seven hours preparing five hundred bagged lunches for the extensive homeless community at Oakland. Out of all the obstacles that could have halted our progress, rain was the last thing on our minds. We were lucky enough to distribute three hundred lunches before the rain began to relentlessly pour down on us. There were a few hours left of daylight before we would be able to eat Iftar for Ramadan, so, an overwhelming majority of our group wanted to call it a day. However, there was still a large number of unsheltered and hungry homeless people throughout the city, and I could not bear to let all that food go to waste. So, I raced to one of our nearest vans, grabbed a bullhorn, and yelled to gather the attention of as many people as possible. I instructed them to form lines in front of our eleven vans in order to take everybody to the nearest homeless shelters with the promise of food and entertainment. We went to six other heavily concentrated areas to do the same thing, and within just five hours, nearly five hundred homeless individuals were transported.

This event is one of the dozens of community service projects I’ve performed in my role as vice-president of the youth faction of the Sudanese Association of Northern California (SANC). This Oakland food drive has left me with a sense of clarity of what it takes to get a project, event, or any other endeavor accomplished. The food drive was obviously a success, but what made this particularly memorable is the email the president of SANC sent me the following day: “You have a keen ability to synthesize and communicate anything quickly and effectively.” I realized the explicit connection between my forensics (speech and debate) career and my community service: the power that I carry in my voice can motivate others to do good. I have tried to apply this insight into each new endeavor since.

• Specific with Numbers: Use exact numbers whenever you can to create authenticity and make it realistic. In this essay, saying "three hundred" lunches makes things concrete.
• Connects to Academic Interests: Show how your past leadership achievements relate to what you want to do in college.
• Stronger Conclusion: Make sure your conclusion isn't vague and has a concrete takeaway. Don't just use words like "this insight". Rather, rephrase that insight or draw a new idea from it.
• Sentence Structure: Having too long of sentences is a common mistake students make. Instead, splitting up complex sentences can make it easier to read.

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UCLA Example Essay #3: Violin Creative Side

UC PIQ #2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words max)

I express my creative side by playing the violin and other musical instruments. Ever since I was a younger child, music had always been a part of my life. The first instrument I remember playing is the piano when I was four years old. My school had a music program, so I went and learned how to read music and play the Recorder. Though it was a simple instrument, it was to prepare us students for the more complex instruments that we could choose to play after completing the Recorder lessons.

I took this class all of first grade, and in second grade I was ready to choose the instrument I wanted to specialize in. I chose the Violin, and now -ten years later- I am still playing it. Throughout the years I have learned to play other instruments as well, such as the Piano, Trumpet, Viola, and more. During that time I have also been able to play those instruments in different styles of music.

From second to seventh grade, I played the Violin and sung in my elementary school district's Mariachi and my middle school's Mariachi even when I did not know how to speak Spanish. I have been playing the Violin at my church's choir almost every Sunday since Seventh grade. I played the Violin and Viola in my high school's Orchestra class in Freshman and Sophomore year, and since my Junior year I have played the trumpet in my school's Jazz Band and Trumpet Choir.

My siblings have also been inspired to be creative musically, and together we perform at our church and other places, and music has become an important part in their lives as well.

Throughout my life I have been able to express my love for music in many different ways. Whether through playing with a group, doing a solo in front of an audience, composing my own music, or teaching my younger siblings how to read and play music the way I was taught many years ago, music has always been a large way that I could express my creative side.

• Clearly Answers Prompt: For UC essays, being straightforward is not a bad thing. This essay starts off by clearly answering the prompt, before elaborating further.
• Fix Capitalization: It's not necessary to capitalize improper nouns like "freshman" and "sophomore". An easy fix is to only capitalize proper nouns, like names of people and places.
• Explain What's Meaningful: Admissions officers want to know more than just "what you did," but also why it was meaningful to you. Try to focus on the impact of your achievements more than just what you did.

UCLA Example Essay #4: Improvised Comedy Creative Side

I was brought into this world with an overactive imagination and an absence of siblings. My abundance of boredom and lack of playmates was solved by creating multiple characters, drawing them, and pretending to be them. When I joined theater my freshman year, I quickly fell in love because it brought me back to that childhood innocence of carelessly being someone else It was an opportunity to evaluate how I could incorporate my personality, experiences, and charisma into a character and to turn my visual concepts into a reality through doing makeup.

I was also introduced to improvised comedy. where I presented my witty and quirky side. On the other hand, working with a cast and crew was something I was unaccustomed to. but I soon saw myself becoming inspired by the surrounding creativity of others. Whether we were doing a dramatic or comedic play, we worked together to evoke an emotional response from the audience. It’s an honor to see people laugh and cry during our performances because I've connected with hundreds of people by putting my heart on a stage. In contrast, painting has been a private indulgence. Every feeling and thought trapped inside becomes free on that canvas into a beautiful visual creation. Like my mood, my paintings aren't uniform and consistent; they range from iridescent beaches to scattered splotches, yet every stroke, color. and mistake had a reason.

As my only patron, my mom couldn't always afford painting supplies, so occasionally I had to improvise with tools like spoons, paper towels, and erasers. Regardless of the tools I was using, my paintings were reflection of myself. The progression of my work is an exhibit of my struggles, success, and how I became who I am today. Painting is not about the finished product; it's about the journey and the lessons I've learned to get there. My creativity is not limited to the arts, but is embedded my appearance, mindset, and career path in solving mental health issues. Creativity, to me, is putting bits and pieces of myself into doing what I love.

• Strong First Sentence: Starting off with interesting ideas is the best way to get the reader hooked. It doesn't need to be complicated, but find your most interesting idea and start there.
• Connects Multiple Extracurriculars: Finding multiple examples in your life to explain your answer can make your essay stronger. Rather than focusing on just one activity, how do your activites relate with a common theme?
• Great Conclusion: A strong conclusion is often one that expands on your ideas or connects to something more universal. Try restating your main idea and add a twist or expand on it.
• Make Each Paragraph Distinct: Each paragraph should have one central idea or topic. It's better to split up your essay into many paragraphs because it makes it easier for the reader and better organized.

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

My greatest talent would be relating to and inspiring others. Throughout my time in school I have demonstrated that talent by becoming a leader where I was trusted by my teachers and peers. It began in 5th grade when I was voted to become Student Council for my class, where my peers knew that I related well with them and that I would do my best to use my position to fix their issues.

In middle school, I became the Knowledge Bowl team Captain. There was a new coach, so the program was small, about five students. There were many students who wanted to join the team but felt that they were not "smart enough" to join. I recognized this and encouraged those students to join and they succeeded. By the end of the year, our team was 3rd in the district overall statistically standing, our highest ranking in a while.

In high school I joined JROTC as a Freshman, and I became a Platoon Sergeant my Junior year. My job for the semester was to teach and motivate cadets in the program. Some cadets did not do well with authority, and felt attacked when other class leaders would be assertive. As a leader I took a different approach, and related to my cadets. My platoon was constantly noted as being a well-rounded platoon by our instructors, and I received the Non-Commisioned Officer Leadership Award.

In Academic League, motivation was key to our team's success. Sometimes personal problems would affect a member of the team, so I showed them I could relate to their struggles and still believe in their ability to help the team. In times when we would be losing in a match, I would inspire the team to keep pushing on, and to remain positive. That year our team placed 5th in the district -again a highest ranking in a while- and I was voted as "Most Inspirational" by the team.

Throughout the years, relating to and inspiring others has been a skill that has allowed me to make great connections with so many people.

• Uses Multiple Examples: Backing up your answer with various examples from your life makes your case stronger.
• Unique Take: Rather than thinking of a skill in the literal sense, this author uses a more abstract skill. Sharing your unique perspective is key to having interesting ideas.
• Show Why It Matters: In addition to explaining your greatest skill or talent, you should tell why it is meaningful. What are the takeaways and how will you use this skill going forward in college?

UCLA Example Essay #6: Flute Greatest Talent

Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curveball. So, we have to improvise. The universe is funny like that. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.

When I first started playing flute, I probably looked like a pufferfish choking on a clump of wasabi, but that didn't matter. Blasting deep breaths into my flute, I blew voraciously as I tried to produce a B-flat; but all I could muster was a raspy whistle.

6 years later, I was filled with pride knowing that I had worked hard enough to be selected as the concert soloist for the Youth Orchestra of Bucks County. My moment had arrived; I stand center-stage and begin Chaminade's Concertino Op. 107. Recognizing the minor scales and arpeggios, my fingers glide through the measures with absolute certainty; and with each successive measure, my breathing, tone, and articulation seemed to increasingly synchronize. Before long, the piece came to an end. Holding the D-natural farmada as long I could, I let the note fade into submission and lowered my flute. Taking a bow, I reveled in the magnitude of my hard work.

As I grew older, it became evident that I would need orthodontics and jaw reduction surgeries. With my face full of rubber and metal, I couldn't form a tight enough valve to sustain notes. I was officially back to square one. The following months were brutal, I had to put away Tchaikovsky and go back to the basics; but my effort was genuine and I gradually regained my ability to play.

Today, I consider playing flute my greatest skill. Not because I can play complex scales or win competitions, but, instead, because through the horrors of braces, learning how to double-tongue, and impossibly fast measures, I never gave up. Playing flute had crafted in me the relentless determination which I've exhibited over the past 8 years. I may not know what curveballs life will pitch to me next, but I have confidence knowing I will persevere regardless of the circumstances.

• Strong Hook: Use your best idea at the start to immediately make the reader interested. First impressions matter, and by having a compelling first paragraph, the tone of your essay is immediately better.
• Specific in Naming Things: Say the names of groups, places, and other things whenever you can. Being specific whenever possible makes you seem more relatable and makes your essay more interesting.

UCLA Example Essay #7: Optimism Greatest Skill

Life can be an overwhelming obstacle course, but my ability to get over any bump with a smile on my face has been my greatest strength. Maintaining an optimistic outlook has introduced me to new opportunities, made me a better leader, and helped me get through everyday life. Although my determination to get back up was built by a couple scrapes and falls. I learned about the impact of a positive attitude on others through my experience on the tennis team.

The motivation and bond my team had because of the encouragement and support from our captains has influenced my approach to interacting with others. For instance, while working with my peers, I always praise them for the effort that they put in and patiently help them. When applying this to class projects and theater productions, I saw an improvement on our performance and our accomplishments felt more satisfying and meaningful. My positive attitude is also influential during my job at a convalescent home. As an activities assistant, my objective is to get residents to participate in activities and to make them fun.

At times, it’s difficult to convince residents that a macaroni necklace is worth getting out of bed for, but I am always that friendly face that cheers them on and picks them up. Knowing that my happiness is brightening someone else's day is extremely valuable and is the fuel to my enthusiasm.

Preserving my optimism is not always easy; however, my excitement for the future retains my drive to overcome any challenge. Every opportunity given to me is taken advantage of, and if something doesn't go as planned. I am confident another door will open. Even though I enjoy focusing on the bright side of life, I'm aware that some people feel like they cant overcome their challenges alone. I recognized that I can be a hand to help people up, someone to believe in them, and a friend to conquer obstacles with. Using this positive influence is the very reason why I am looking forward to a career in psychology.

• Shows Impact of Your Skill: Whenever possible, try to show how your skill/talent has impacted others. Why is your skill important? And how will you use it going forward in life?
• Uses Humor: Having small moments of natural humor, when appropriate, makes for a more enjoyable essay. Even a small remark like "it’s difficult to convince residents that a macaroni necklace is worth getting out of bed for" is powerful.
• Recognizes Challenges: Nobody is perfect, and even with your greatest skill or talent there are likely still shortcomings. Recognizing your challenges is important to humanize yourself and shows self-awareness.

UCLA Example Essay #8: Significant Educational Opportunity

UC PIQ #4: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words max)

I was going to University of Southern California for three weeks, and that was all I could think about as the school year came to a close. After finding out that I had been accepted into the Bovard Scholars program, along with one of my best friends, I could not wait for the upcoming summer. As July 16th neared, I became more and more anxious,as I did not know what to expect, but I was looking forward to this new opportunity.

The program had just been launched this year and 49 of around 500 applicants were accepted. Over the course of three weeks, the 48 other people from all over the country would be my new friends. During my time there, I would be assigned a coach who would help with the college process, whether it be working on the college application as a group or having one-on-one sessions to work on personal statements. Outside of working on college applications and essays, we had guest speakers from admissions offices, student panels where we could ask questions, career panels, and workplace visits. We also had many presentations on financial aid, fields of major, jobs, and interviews which, most of it, I did not know beforehand.

Along with all this help, we also dormed at one of the residence halls, which allowed us to experience what college life might be like. I was amazed by the diversity of people that were attending the program, and I was shocked to find out that my roommate from New York was Egyptian. We even had Resident Assistants who planned evening activities for us to further stimulate college life. However, they were not just our Resident Assistants; as we grew closer we were able to gather information from them about college.

As the program came to its end, I did not want it to stop. I had such an incredible experience and learned so much about college. I knew that the program will never truly end, though, as our coaches will continue to work with us until Spring when we are accepted into colleges.

• Specific in Achievements: Being specific and saying "49 of around 500 applicants were accepted" creates credibility. It also helps admissions officers have context about your achievements and be able to infer how significant they really were.
• Stronger First Sentence: Try starting your essay with ideas, rather than retelling events. Starting off with interesting ideas helps hook your reader, and you can later support those ideas with your experiences and achievements.
• Focus on Meaning: Emphasize what your takeaways were from this educational opportunity or barrier. Admissions officers are looking for what you learned, how it affected others, and how you'll use those lessons moving forward.

UCLA Example Essay #9: Working at Health Clinic

I worked in a health clinic in the impoverished village of Amara in Sudan this summer, expecting to be assigned general administrative duties during my internship. However, those expectations were tossed out the window within the first week. I consider myself a pretty squeamish person, so the thought of blood oozing from any injury disgusts me in ways that I cannot describe in words. So naturally, I was shocked when I didn’t flinch or faint as I held the retractors of a ravaged knee during surgery. I can’t say that I confronted the daunting tasks I was given with complete confidence, but I learned from the experiences nonetheless. At times, I would question the challenging orders given to me by the faculty, but I later realized that it was due to the lack of qualified doctors and nurses at the village.

I observed eleven surgeries, ranging from liver disease to a gruesome foot infection. The clinic worked under severe pressure, as basic resources and equipment were scarce, which ended badly for some patients. There was one particular patient who did not survive a disastrous bus crash due to the unavailability of ambulances. He was laying on the floor in agonizing pain for a lingering six hours. As the viscous blood stained the white cloth that covered him when he was brought to the clinic, I felt a surge of sorrow, anger, and helplessness. It was difficult for me to come to grips with the reality that some things cannot be undone. The emotions I felt that day slowly faded, but never completely receded. I left this internship satisfied with the invaluable knowledge I obtained, but I still feel like I needed to do more. I live a relatively privileged life, and don’t have to spend each day worrying about a measly injury that could end my life. At the time, even though I thought I was worked too hard for a high school student, I now know I didn't do enough. I’m eager to return to the clinic soon, and have hopes of gaining more experience and knowledge.

• Emphasizes the Impact: After talking about what opportunity you had or what barrier you overcame, focusing on the impact of that experience is what matters. Describing your emotions and lessons learned makes the significance of those events more clear.
• Strong Hook: Focus on finding your best idea and using that as your first sentence. Often, starting off with a story or retelling what you did can come later and isn't as important.

UCLA Example Essay #10: Most Significant Challenge

UC PIQ #5: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (350 words max)

Education has always been important in my household, but never paramount. We were always taught to put familial needs first—even before our own. My parents always emphasized the lesson that selfishness leads to bitterness and loneliness. That value is why six new members were added to my family when my father’s brother died two years ago. I did what was expected and shifted my focus from school to helping my kin.

I remember feeling a mosaic of emotions—apprehension, prudence, and displacement—as I greeted them at the airport. The five-hour-long ride back home was awkward and somber, and the complete silence said so much more than words could. We were all just afraid of what the future had in store for us. My step aunt, my two older cousins and the three younger ones were all compassionate, loving people. Yet, I couldn't seem to shed this foreboding feeling the first time we all entered our house. Every passing week made our financial situation more tenuous. So, my brother and I volunteered to help our dad at his small pharmaceutical wholesale business after he laid off two employees. We worked after school three days a week and would return home around 8:30.

That year of juggling school with my new obligations at home and my father’s business was emotionally and physically wrenching. However, I don't pity myself and I wouldn't go back to change anything because I learned so much about my character in that year. I realized that my parent’s belief in selflessness had shaped me into a more capable person because I was able to sacrifice time from socializing and classes to contribute, in some way, to my family. And even though I was concerned that I would hurt my academic performance, I stuck to my promises. That inexplicable sense of uneasiness I felt at the airport was caused by anxiety in anticipating the new demands that could potentially exhaust me. Thankfully, the challenges prepared me for the academic rigor for my junior year, my senior year, and hopefully, for university.

• Vulnerable and Authentic: Talking about personal stories can be difficult, but often your vulnerable experiences have a lot of meaning. Being vulnerable also makes you more personable and relatable.
• Explains Realizations: Rather than focusing on what happened, focus on the impact of it and why it's meaningful. How will these past experiences and academic challenges affect you going forward?
• Stronger Conclusion: Try to connect your ending back to the beginning while expanding on it or connecting it to a universal idea. Alternatively, leave your conclusion more open ended.

UCLA Example Essay #11: Educational Challenge

Growing up, I tackled the challenge of school without much guidance from anyone other than my older sister, who is one grade higher. When I was at the young age of just five, my parents divorced and my sister and I were left with our dad, who we did not see often. Because our time with him was limited to driving us to school and home and dinner, we could not ask him for much help with homework or projects. Most of the time, we did the work ourselves or asked our uncle and aunt for help when they came on Saturdays. By the time we reached middle school, I was in more advanced classes, and although my dad had received an Associate’s Degree, he did not take advanced classes like I did, so he was unable to provide much help. My dad only took math up to geometry, and his English was not as fluent as mine, preventing him from providing much help.

Once I enrolled in high school, I was able to get help from teachers, programs, and even my sister. With this newfound help, I overcame the struggle of not knowing what to do in school and life, and I learned that help is always there, but I just needed to ask. Throughout my time in high school, I became more motivated than I was before to do the best I can and overcome anything that comes my way. I was able to do this with help from others, and I will continue to strive for greatness, overcoming any obstacles. Without the help of others, I would not have had the success that I have had in school. My good grades are a testament to the help that I have received in order for me to be where I am now. Although I can say that I have overcome this challenge, there is still one last hurdle, which is to graduate from high school, attend college, and apply everything I have learned to the real world.

• Honesty: Authenticity is most important for your essays. By revealing personal details such as your family life and struggles, you can bring admissions officers into your world.
• Sense of Gratitude: Showing a sense of appreciation and self-awareness makes you immediately more likeable. Nobody succeeds alone, so how did others in your life help you overcome difficulties?
• Provide Clarification: Some parts could be given more context, such as "why is your dad not as fluent in English?". You could use this as an opportunity to talk about your cultural background and create a more clear picture of yourself for the reader.

UCLA Example Essay #12: Self-Improvement Challenge

The saying "you can be your own worst enemy" was the embodiment of the time I hit lowest point. Finishing my 22-hour days, I expected to lay down in bed close my eyes, and smile: thinking about all my accomplishments. Instead, I was sleep deprived, rapidly losing and gaining weight, and unhappy.

As a result, I stopped being able to focus and my grades began to fall. I lost motivation and the only reason I did anything was because of my obsession with completion. In this vulnerable state, I would tell myself I was useless and shy away from taking opportunities. I started to question if could get out of the hole I dug. Ironically, I have always been an optimist. I thought about the many things I wanted to do and I wouldn't be able to do any of them from a hospital bed.

Seeing the bright light ahead of me, I moved forward to a journey of self-improvement. First, I isolated myself from things that were affecting my happiness through finding a place where I could peacefully think about why I was enduring so much pain, regularly eat, and get some sleep. When I came back from my retreat, I continued my routine which improved my health and performance in school. The greatest outcome was my realization that I was compensating for my lack of self-esteem, I've been trying to get validation from my parents and peers by trying to be perfect, but when my friends left me and my parents didn't notice my efforts I overworked myself.

It was hard to stop searching for approval, yet the support of close friends and acknowledging that I'm doing everything I'm capable of, revealed to me what its like to love yourself. From then on, I determined my self worth, no one else. Now that I found my own drive and am confident, I don't have to beg for friends. struggle to maintain grades, skip meals, or lose sleep. Presently, I can say I am no longer my worst enemy: we're like friends that get closer every day.

• Vulnerability: Showing your shortcomings and difficulties is important to reveal how you've grown and changed. Revealing your perspective and emotions also shows that you have self-awareness.
• Provide More Explanation: Don't assume that the reader will remember everything about you. For essays like this, give more context. Answer questions that will come up in the reader's mind, like "Why did you have 22-hour days?".

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

An academic subject that inspires me is Computer Science. Computers have fascinated me ever since a young age. I used my first computer when I was 4 years old- the Apple Macintosh Performa. I began learning about how computers worked in first grade, where I had my own Windows XP computer. I did not know what I was doing when I clicked through the thousands of files that made the computer run, but it was fascinating, and almost seemed like magic. I knew that a career with computers had to be in my future.

My fascination with computers took a new meaning in freshman year, when I decided to learn how to program. I did not know where to start, so I just typed in the search browser, "how to start programming". That day, I started with the Processing Language. It was a simple language to learn, but it built the foundation for my furthered interest in the computer programming aspect of Computer Science. After a couple months of using Processing, I learned HTML/CSS and JavaScript. These languages would allow me to program a wider range of applications. Soon enough, I became bilingual in the languages of computers. As time went on throughout my freshman and sophomore years I exposed myself to more languages like SQL, Batch Scripting, and in junior year, Java.

In my junior year I took AP Computer Science A, and finally after all the years of loving computers, I was able to take Computer Science as a class where I learned the Java language. I also furthered my interest in Computer Science by integrating it with the Engineering club on campus, using the Arduino and Raspberry Pi.

This year I am in Computer Integrated Manufacturing, where I can implement my knowledge of Computer Programming into Engineering, through the use of Corel Draw with the Laser Cutter Printer and AutoDesk Inventor and OpenGL C++ Code with the CAD 3-D Printing machine.

Computer Science has always been a part of my life inside and outside of the classroom, and I seek to continue pursuing it as my major.

• Connects Interests to Extracurriculars: Showing how your activities relate to your passions reveals your motivations and what drives you. By connecting to extracurriculars, it also creates a more complete picture of your application.
• Specific In Naming Things: Whenever you are able to, being specific is better than being vague. By naming programming languages and classes, the story becomes more compelling.
• Explain Why These Things Interest You: What is the root aspect of your interests that intrigue you? Try explaining how you feel when doing these activities and what motivates you. Admissions officers want to know how these interests developed, and more importantly, why they developed.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

I am "Korean big toes", "a water panda in disguise", and "Mr. Sweatface" - these are the nicknames I happily accepted over the years. My life was a buoyant bubble, full of gratification, funny nicknames, and simple pleasures; but that changed when I was confronted with the inhumane conditions of the LGBT centers around my town.

Stepping into the stone-house building, a few things immediately caught my attention. The rooms were small, full of broken furniture, smelled of mold, and had poor lighting; moreover, there was no privacy and extremely limited resources. It was obvious that the facility didn't have the funds to sustain itself, let alone help anyone trying to assimilate back into society. My heart ached as I realized the advantages I had been taking for granted; the idealistic mirage of reality I previously held, was now replaced by an overwhelming truth: Life isn't fair. Everyone in that facility had been criminalized for their sexuality, and I was going to do something about it!

Over the next few weeks, I brainstormed ideas and eventually decided on creating a blog where I would share the stories of anyone who was willing to speak up for change. The clickety-clack of my keyboard filled the common rooms of LGBT centers around my city. I slowly-but-surely interviewed the residents of these homes, recording stories of inequality and discrimination. As I uploaded each story to my blog, I felt a sense of accomplishment knowing that I was breaking down barriers and fulfilling my passions. Furthermore, reading the comments flooding my inbox, I realized that although the LGBT centers in my area still remain underfunded, I had made an impact on individuals through my blog and did something for a community I genuinely cared about. It was more than I could have ever hoped for.

In my quest to create change, I forged a new nickname for myself -- "advocate"; except, unlike the titles I was bestowed as a kid, this nickname represented my creativity, ingenuity, and passion, and for those reasons, it is more precious than anyone will ever know.

• Vivid Descriptions: Painting a picture can make your stories immediately more interesting. By using descriptive language and word choice, your stories have more life to them.
• Conclusion That Connects to Beginning: Try connecting your ending back to the beginning, but with a new perspective or take. By bringing your essay full circle, it creates a sense of cohesiveness.
• Name Things Specifically: Rather than being general and saying "LGBT centers", the author could name one specifically. Since not everyone may be faimilar with the concept of "LGBT centers", it helps make your essay more concrete and easier to interpret.

UCLA Example Essay #15: Empowering Others Through Peer Tutoring

I never thought that I would tutor other people after school, but that was what I did my junior year and now in my senior year. During my freshman and sophomore years, I was the one being tutored by upperclassmen who had taken my classes before. Receiving help from others inspired me to become a tutor my junior year so I could give back and share the opportunity that I had. At first, I was not sure if I would be up to the task, as I did not feel confident in my teaching abilities in various subjects. As time went on, however, I became at ease and comfortable tutoring anyone the more I tutored along with my peers.

Every day from Monday through Thursday, I went to library as much as I could to help tutor with others from 3 to 4 o’clock, and it slowly became a part of my daily schedule. To begin with, I was not the greatest teacher, but as I helped more and more, I gradually became better at it due to teaching the same concepts repeatedly. Not only was I helping the person I was tutoring understand the subject, but I also was becoming better at the subject by teaching it. Teaching a subject allowed me to relearn concepts and ideas that I had forgotten, as well as studying for a subject if I was tutoring a classmate.

Motivated by wanting to help other students, I was able to be at tutoring most days, and this led to me receiving a tutoring award at my school’s California Scholarship Federation banquet at the end of the year. It was a surprise to me as I was not expecting to be honored. To me, the best award was the satisfaction of helping others understand how to do homework questions and them being grateful for the help. Although this year tutoring is not being held in the library yet, I joined another club that tutors after school for the time being so I can continue helping others and spread my knowledge.

• Shows Their Realizations: Realizations and new understanding are how people change. That's why its important to look for what lessons you learned, and what you took away from your activities.
• Explain Why: Try to predict what questions will arise in the reader's mind, and answer those questions. For this essay, one question that is unanswered is "Why did you never think you would tutor other people?".

UC PIQ #8: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (350 words max)

This was the night. Clenching my fists, I called my dad over. Maybe it was the adrenaline coursing through my veins or maybe just suspense, but time seemed to freeze as anxiety washed over my consciousness. A million doubts flooded my mind as I dreaded what would come next. The pitter-patter of his feet hitting the tile floor brought me back to reality. My dad had always loved and supported me, I just had to trust that things would be alright.

In a quivering voice, my hands shaking, I explained to my dad that I was gay. After a brief moment of silence, my dad said ten words that completely changed my life: "I raised you completely wrong, get out of my house". I was devastated, but I wasn't surprised. This was the same person physically forced pork down my throat when I told him I wanted to become a vegetarian; who would hit me and my mom if either of us voiced dissenting opinions; and the same person who would come home drunk and threaten to kill us. With tears running down my cheeks, I packed my belongings and drove my 98' Nissan Pathfinder away from my home. From that night on I learned to be brave, to follow my dreams, and to fight for what I believe in.

The next few years were tough. In my community, being gay was unacceptable and embracing my identity meant enduring the consequences. I will never forget being dragged into a storage room and choked or hiding the bruises I got from being pelted by textbooks. But looking back, I realize that the lessons I learned drove me towards success. They inspired me to be relentless and graduate early, to surpass expectations by doing college-credit classes, and remain strong in the face of oppression and adversity. Moving forward, as I look to broaden my education horizons, I know that I have the emotional vitality to success wherever I go. So I want to dedicate this essay to my dad and to everyone who made me strong, thank you.

• Honest and Vulnerable: Talking about personal stories can be impactful. Often the most difficult stories are the ones that need to be shared.
• Explains Your Perspective and Emotions: Sharing how you felt in a certain moment can allow the reader to "be in your shoes." By telling your perspective, you allow admissions officers to better understand your experience.
• Focus On Takeaways: Although stories are important, what matters more is the lessons and takeaways from those stories. The majority of your essay should be focused on those ideas, with a smaller portion where you talk about what actually happened.

UCLA Example Essay #17: Fostering Inclusive Leadership

All around us, the world is dominated by big voices, people who can present themselves positively and effectively elaborate on their opinions. Many of our most successful politicians carve their paths to the top through their charisma and articulate language. Unfortunately, while many of them possess a strong voice, many of them don’t possess that same strength in listening. While their job is to represent the people, there is a large disconnect between their perspective and the perspectives of their citizens. Even in Congress, civilized debate has transformed into a shouting battle, where both parties attempt to push their ideas, but neither side is willing to listen.

In contrast, a leader with an open ear, an open mind, and an open heart is exactly what I bring to the table. I believe that everyone has a unique story to share. From the most flamboyant billionaires to the people living on the streets, every single person possesses their own unique set of skills, perspective, and knowledge that can be useful to learn from. Because of this, I make it my priority to listen to and understand the human behind each team member I work with. In recognizing each person’s strengths and weaknesses, I’m able to build a positive environment in which every person is able to reach their maximum potential.

For example, when it comes to group projects, I always make sure to know the personalities of those I’m working with and create a transparent and inclusive environment that is conducive to productivity. Rather than dishing out assignments and deadlines, I make sure everyone is able to contribute in a way that matches their strengths and skills. Furthermore, by creating such a transparent atmosphere, group members are able to understand each other’s situations and help each other out like an actual team, allowing everyone to be both productive and pleased.

With all the divisiveness that is taking place in the country today, it is more necessary than ever to have open-minded leaders such as myself to help bring this campus and this nation together.

• Strong Hook Sentence: Using a thought-provoking idea to start your sentence immediately draws the reader in. By having a unique take on the world, people want to read more and are interested by your thoughts.
• Using Examples to Explain: For abstract ideas and concepts, try using a real life example to make things more clear. Capture the essence of your ideas and find what is at the core of them.

Stepping foot in public has been like opening a floodgate to questions and comments about the one thing that I've been looked down upon my entire life for - my height. Standing out because I was 4'9" wasn't something I was proud of; I was picked last for sports, not taken seriously, and often used as a human arm rest. My mom warned me life was going to be hard if I didn't drink my milk. However, people aren't aware that my appearance is a deception and what makes me extraordinary is that I've outgrown myself. People should be asking me how a person so "big" can fit into a girl so tiny. I have a huge personality, dreams, goals, and a plethora of talent. My achievements earned me such a high standing that I do know what the weather is like up there, yet, my head is never in the clouds because my distance from the ground makes me down to earth.

My only oddity is that my anatomy has grown out of proportion. It's hard to believe that with such short arms, I can extend them long enough to touch hearts with my art and performances. I have been devoted to helping people and educating myself ever since I was young, but who knew that my brain and heart would become so gigantic? Despite my how big my brain is, I keep my head as small as my body because I value letting others know that I'll never overlook them.

Although I haven't hit as many significant growth spurts as the average person. I grow with ambition every day, considering every moment a step closer to success. Being able to pursue my passions at a university will allow me to continue maturing into a person who will one day be looked up to by many. The reader of my response cannot see the facade that has been the subject of many peoples first impressions of me. instead, they will observe that even though I can't reach the top shelf, I can still reach my goals in life.

• Using Metaphors: Explaining something ordinary (like being short) in an unusual or not-so-common way can show your unique take on it. By using metaphors, you can connect seemingly unrelated ideas together.

What can you learn from these UCLA essays?

These UC essays are not perfect—nor should they be—but each has interesting ideas and a unique perspective.

Compared to some private university essays , UC essays are relatively straightforward.

So focus on making each UC essay express one interesting idea as your answer.

Here's my top 4 lessons for UCLA essays:

• Avoid too much storytelling and descriptions. You only have 350 words, so focus on ideas.
• Answer every part of the prompt, clearly. Avoid implying your answer. Make sure your idea is crystal clear and relevant.
• Showcase a different aspect of yourself with each essay. Avoid re-using topics, unless you're taking a very different angle.
• Show your thinking. As with all successful essays, your thinking is most important.

Also applying to UC Berkeley?

I've collected additional essays from admitted Cal students that are completely unique from these UCLA essays.

If you're interested, check out these our essays that worked for UC Berkeley .

Which UCLA essay that worked was your favorite? Let me know!

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People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

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