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How to Heal From a Broken Heart

Nancy Schimelpfening, MS is the administrator for the non-profit depression support group Depression Sanctuary. Nancy has a lifetime of experience with depression, experiencing firsthand how devastating this illness can be.

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Verywell / Nusha Ashjaee 

• Signs and Symptoms
• How to Heal

A Word From Verywell

When a cherished relationship ends, we often must heal from what's commonly referred to as a "broken heart." The process can be painful and slow, but it does pass, and time will help you recover. In the meantime, harnessing it as an opportunity to learn more about your wants and needs can help you develop and strengthen healthy coping skills to use in future relationships—and to help you get through the end of this one.

The phrase has two meanings: 1) A painful, depressed emotional state resulting from an upsetting event such as a breakup, death of a loved one, etc.; and 2) acute stress-induced cardiomyopathy, a temporary physical condition characterized by chest pain, shortness of breath, and/or abnormal heart rhythm brought on by stress, intense emotion, serious illness, or surgery.

Signs of a Broken Heart

If your heart is broken, you might feel symptoms common to depression:

• Reduced or increased appetite
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Lack of interest in your usual activities

If you feel as if your physical heart actually hurts, you're not imagining it: The flood of stress hormones your body is releasing in response to your emotions can trigger broken heart syndrome, aka stress-induced cardiomyopathy. Symptoms of this physical condition include an erratic heartbeat, chest pain, and shortness of breath. You might even feel as though you're having a heart attack.

Causes of a Broken Heart

Any loss can cause a broken heart. Whether it's the end of a relationship, the death of a pet, family upset, personal failure, or other negative event, separation from someone or something we value can cause heartbreak.

How Long a Broken Heart Lasts

There's no getting around it: This is going to take some time and effort.

In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, you don’t need to jump into problem-solving mode. In fact, doing so when you haven’t allowed yourself to fully work through your feelings may make the process more protracted and difficult. 

As time passes, don't compare yourself to characters in movies and books who bounce back with tidy endings in two hours. Every person and relationship is different, and dealing with heartbreak is not the same process for everyone or every time. Give yourself permission to take the time you need.

Within the space of each day, try to limit how long you allow yourself to ruminate on what's happened. For example, you might set aside 30 minutes a day to think about what you're going through; that can help you push such thoughts away outside of that time.

If you feel as though you're not recovering as you should or you just can't endure the pain alone, consider counseling or therapy. These professionals are highly trained to help people through challenging situations and states. To find a therapist , ask your healthcare or insurance provider for recommendations, and search online for patient reviews.

Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

In the early days, try to resist the urge to isolate yourself. Sadness, guilt, confusion, and other intense feelings can be overwhelming. Reach out to the people who care about you. To come to terms with the changes in your life, you’ll need the support of your family and friends . 

If a Loved One Has a Broken Heart

Resist the urge to cite common platitudes and cliches; they're not likely to help. Although you mean well when you say things like, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” such sentiments don't offer any practical advice for coping with painful emotions . 

When you’re ready for the next step, here are some tips to get through the process of healing. 

Do take care of yourself.

Do appreciate the good memories.

Do reevaluate your needs.

Do try again when you're ready.

Do forgive—both the other person and yourself.

Don't let your emotions rule.

Don't get stuck in the past.

Don't deny your needs.

Don't jump into a rebound relationship.

Don't Let Your Emotions Rule 

Try not to view the end of a relationship as a failure. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to learn and grow.   It doesn’t matter if it was your first relationship or if you’ve had others before. Everyone, whether they’re 15 or 50, can get to know themselves better and work on improving their relationship skills. 

You may have a lot of anger around the relationship, including the way it ended. You may even be tempted to “exact revenge” on your ex or fantasize about interfering in or disrupting their life—including new relationships. 

Remember that hurting another person won’t lessen your pain. In fact, it’s more likely to make you feel worse and will slow the progress of your own healing. 

Do Take Care of Yourself 

Good self-care is emotional, physical, and spiritual. You have your own unique needs in each area, but there are some general acts of self-care that are beneficial for almost everyone, such as a nutritious diet, regular exercise, a social support system, and strategies for coping with stress, to name a few.

Try to be patient, gentle, kind, and giving toward yourself. It may help to know that the pain of a break-up is not just emotional; research has shown people can also feel physical pangs of loss.  

You may also need to work on restoring the “big picture” perspective. When you’re in a romantic relationship, it may be a central part of your life, but romantic love isn’t the only kind that can be nourishing. Continue to nurture relationships with friends, family, and yourself.

If you feel guilt or shame about your role in a relationship that has ended, it may be hard to be a good friend to yourself as you work through these feelings. Keep in mind that practicing compassion toward yourself makes it more likely you’ll attract that kind of energy from others. 

Working with a trustworthy, knowledgeable, skilled, and compassionate therapist is good self-care during any period of major change in your life, but can be especially helpful when you’re coping with loss.

Get Help Now

We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain. Find out which option is the best for you.

Don’t Get Stuck in the Past

We all tend to look back on our lives and relationships with “rose-colored glasses.” The effect of “rosy retrospection” is that you may refuse to see the problems and only focus on the good parts (which you’re likely to miss). 

Sometimes, both the good and bad memories may feel as though they’re playing on an endless loop in your mind. These intrusive thoughts can slow down the process of healing and can be quite distressing.  

Though it may be difficult, try not to lose perspective. No relationship is all bad, but none are perfect either. If you are glorifying the relationship or find you continue to put your ex on a pedestal, it may be a sign that you need to give yourself some emotional and perhaps physical distance.

For example, you may struggle in the digital age to refrain from “checking up” on your ex via social media. If you can’t resist the temptation, it may be time to unfriend them or block their profile. 

You won’t be able to move on with your own healing if you’re constantly being drawn back into their lives and thinking about what once was, as well as what will never be.  

If your ex starts a new relationship, seeing them post on social media (even if it’s not always an accurate representation of reality) may cause old feelings to resurface for you. It can also fuel preoccupation with any unresolved aspects of your relationship with them. 

Do Appreciate the Good Memories

Even if your relationship ended on a sour note, chances are, it was not all bad. It’s normal to look back at what was good about it, and you may find you miss certain things about your ex and the love you shared.  

At the same time, you may feel overwhelmed by the empty space that’s left when the relationship ends or harbor resentment about what happened that lead to its dissolution. 

Riding out these shifts in emotions is part of the healing process. When a happy memory comes up, allow yourself to be grateful for it—then move on .

Don’t Deny Your Needs

Being honest with yourself about your needs (especially those that aren’t being met) can be a painful process. You may feel it would be easier, and less painful, to simply ignore them.  

While it may feel better in the short term to “numb” yourself to the hurt , it will only make it harder for you to heal in the long term. Pretending you don’t have needs makes it impossible for you to grow, both in your relationships with others and the one you have with yourself. 

Do Reevaluate Your Needs

Following a break-up is a good time to think about your wants and needs in a romantic relationship. You may find it helpful to journal or make lists. 

Ask yourself questions like, “Have I been choosing partners who are not capable of a loving and mature relationship?” and “Was I hoping this person would change, or that I would be able to change them?”  

It can be painful to admit that your previous relationship wasn’t able to meet your needs . Taking the time to honestly reflect can be hard work, but once you do, you’ll be able to clarify the qualities to look for in a future partner. 

Don’t Jump Into a "Rebound" Relationship

You may feel a sense of urgency about finding a new romantic partner, but so-called “rebound” relationships prevent you from working through your previous one.

If you don’t take time to reflect on a relationship that has recently ended, you may end up repeating patterns or making the same mistakes in a new one.

It can be hard to break free from old ways of thinking and behaving, even if you know it’s not helpful. But recognition is the first step to making changes. 

Do Try Again When You’re Ready

Sometimes, people have a hard time coping with being single when they had become used to being part of a couple.   This may be especially true after a long-term relationship ends. 

If you’re struggling with your identity as a single person,   try to remember that your value comes from who you are, not who you're with. 

Being on your own gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself —though this can be hard if you are used to taking care of others and generally find it easier than thinking about your own needs. 

Sometimes, people who aren't as confident socializing on their own are more comfortable in social situations when they're part of a couple. Others may enjoy being social whether they’re in a relationship or not, but they might resist going out after a break-up.

The tendency to avoid social situations is often a mix of worrying about seeing an ex-partner or someone you know who might ask about the relationship combined with wanting to avoid places, activities, and people who would remind you of an ex.

Try not to isolate yourself. You certainly don’t have to go out on Friday night if you’d rather stay at home with a book, but if you do feel like spending time around others and just don't want to go out on your own, ask a friend to tag along. 

While you don’t have to rush it, you may begin to open up to the possibility of another relationship as time goes on.

It might be scary to think about falling in love again—especially after you’ve been hurt—but try to remember that as deep as the pain of a broken heart can be, it means that you experienced love just as deeply.

You may not even be looking for a relationship when love finds you , as it can show up in unexpected places. If you are looking more intentionally, be open to meeting others when you go out and choose the places and activities you enjoy.

Whether a church group, sports team, or the local library, you’re more likely to make positive connections with others and find lasting relationships (friends and romantic partners alike) in places where you feel safe and comfortable being yourself. 

Do Forgive 

Forgiving your ex may take time and may not come easily, especially if you were hurt or betrayed. It's important to note that forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their hurtful behavior and actions.

In fact, sometimes, the act of forgiveness is not so much about the other person. Arriving at a place of forgiveness gives you permission to stop investing time and energy into a person and situation that is no longer healthy for you.

To mend a broken heart and move on, there's someone else you need to be ready to forgive: yourself.

You may find it easier to forgive your ex, but remember that the longest-running and the most powerful relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  at  988  for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see our  National Helpline Database .

You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you can always change behaviors or shift your paradigm to prevent repeating mistakes, allow yourself to grow, and continue to develop self-love.

Press Play for Advice On Cultivating Self-Love

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring actress KJ Smith, shares how to cultivate self-love. Click below to listen now.

Follow Now : Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

There's no getting around it: Emotional loss can be painful, and you need time to grieve. Not all the platitudes and cliches in the world can hasten the process, but knowing what's going on in your heart and mind can help. As you work through this difficult time, remember that it will pass—and you'll move forward with new self-knowledge and experience that can inform and improve your future relationships.

American Heart Association.  Is Broken Heart Syndrome Real? .

Boelen PA, Reijntjes A. Negative cognitions in emotional problems following romantic relationship break-ups .  Stress and Health . 2009;25(1):11-19. doi:10.1002/smi.1219

Tashiro T, Frazier P. “I’ll never be in a relationship like that again:” Personal growth following romantic relationship breakups .  Personal Relationships . 2003;10(1):113-128. doi:10.1111/1475-6811.00039

Najib A, Lorberbaum JP, Kose S, Bohning DE, George MS. Regional brain activity in women grieving a romantic relationship breakup . Am J Psychiatry . 2004;161(12):2245-56. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.161.12.2245

Lepore S, Greenberg M. Mending broken hearts: Effects of expressive writing on mood, cognitive processing, social adjustment and health following a relationship breakup .  Psychol Health . 2002;17(5):547-560. doi:10.1080/08870440290025768

Langeslag SJE, Sanchez ME. Down-regulation of love feelings after a romantic break-up: Self-report and electrophysiological data . J Exp Psychol Gen . 2018;147(5):720-733. doi:10.1037/xge0000360

Frieze I, Davis K, Maiuro R.  Stalking: Perspectives on Victims and Perpetrators . New York: Springer Publishing Company; 2002:237-245.

Marshall TC. Facebook surveillance of former romantic partners: Associations with postbreakup recovery and personal growth . Cyberpsychol Behav Soc Netw . 2012;15(10):521-6. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0125

del Palacio-González A, Clark D, O’Sullivan L. Distress severity following a romantic breakup is associated with positive relationship memories among emerging adults .  Emerging Adulthood . 2017;5(4):259-267. doi:10.1177/2167696817704117

Marshall T, Bejanyan K, Ferenczi N. Attachment styles and personal growth following romantic breakups: The mediating roles of distress, rumination, and tendency to rebound .  PLoS ONE . 2013;8(9):e75161. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0075161

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By Nancy Schimelpfening Nancy Schimelpfening, MS is the administrator for the non-profit depression support group Depression Sanctuary. Nancy has a lifetime of experience with depression, experiencing firsthand how devastating this illness can be.  

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What’s the Best Way to Heal a Broken Heart?

By Caroline Crosson Gilpin

• Feb. 3, 2017

Have you ever broken up with someone — or had someone break up with you? Was it traumatic, regardless of who decided to end the relationship?

How did you get over it? If you had known there was a heartbreak app to help, would you have used it?

In “ A Personal Trainer for Heartbreak ,” Sophia Kercher writes:

After a traumatic breakup, Julia Scinto, a fashion designer in Manhattan, found herself searching online sites far and wide, looking for any available resource to help her feel better. “I even considered hypnosis,” said Ms. Scinto, who designs women’s wear for Macy’s private label. Instead, she discovered Mend, an app and online community that serves as part personal trainer, part online refuge for the brokenhearted. On the Mend app , users are introduced to an animated avatar of the Mend founder, Ellen Huerta, and her reassuring voice offers guidance on how to move forward, with topics like “detoxing” from your ex; redefining your sense of self — even how to get a better night’s sleep. “It’s this charming and endearing voice of a friend,” Ms. Scinto said. “And there’s a line, ‘We never get tired of hearing about your breakup,’ and those words are like an oasis in the desert.”

Students: Read the entire article, then tell us:

— Do you think the Mend app offers people something different in its approach to healing after a breakup? If so, what makes it different? If not, why not? Would you want to use it the next time you’re in that situation?

— What advice would you give a friend who is going through a terrible time because of the end of a relationship?

— What do you think is the best way to heal a broken heart?

Students 13 and older are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public.

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The Beauty of Broken Hearts: Learning to Love and Heal Your Inner Wounds

Feeling broken-hearted is a relatable experience -- I don’t believe anyone has ever escaped the sorrow of a heart in hurt. We may deny it as a way of shielding ourselves because there may be some small comfort in the shadow of negation.

But in truth, we experience some level of heartbreak on a daily basis, even though we may not recognize it as such. Our hearts break for other people’s pain as much as our own and for the grief we inwardly feel yet find so hard to express . 

A heartache many of us are accustomed to is one of a love lost or unrequited. Love often hurts. And pain is something that bonds us to another with the same intensity as love -- both emotions are deeply profound and immense. We all have inner wounds that scream from the deepest recesses of our soul, and they only call to be heard and healed.

The Beauty of Broken Hearts: Learning to Love and Heal your Inner Wounds 

I know what it's like to have a broken heart. I know what it's like to feel pain. There are a million ways to break a heart. I can relate  - Diane Warren

As human beings we have the primal power to decimate hearts as much as we have the force to love them. We may not seek to harm another -- yet we often do.

Vulnerability asks that we tear away our foundations of perceived safety so that we connect to each other with open hearts; and when we do so, pain too is a card on the table because this is what it means to love. Love is a beautiful odyssey that comes with risk.

We shout love from the roof tops and bury pain in a forsaken grave. We keep grief concealed and cover sadness in a blanket of denial because we just don’t want to feel pain. When we perpetuate that cycle -- we never actually heal. We have become too good at foolishly protecting our pain .

The marriage of love and pain

The wound is the place where the light enters you. ― Jalaluddin Rumi

Love and pain are two sides of the same coin. We are transformed and metamorphosed by the power of them both. In pain we descend into what feels like an abyss of melancholy and in love we find redemption to ascend to great heights. How can we be fully exposed to appreciate love’s light without first being brave enough to chance pain’s darkness?

We should not fear pain. It is an intrinsic part of our story and a natural vessel to the fullness of living. If we fear pain, then we essentially leave love at that same door. Pain and sorrow have the capacity to break our hearts open so that we expand our understanding and awareness of love’s infinity. Grief may tarnish our heart but love will brush it on a canvas of faith to create a greater beauty from the sorrow .

Finding the beauty in broken hearts

For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack. ― D.H Lawrence

Our inner wounds and despair always serve our evolutionary gain. We can govern them with grace and dress them in love’s essence to find some beauty in the affliction. If we fail to find some valuable lesson then we remain tightly knit in that purgatory.

We are more likely to hurt another soul if we deny the howls of our own pain that seek to be absorbed, understood, and directed for a supreme purpose. There is a reason for everything, including every shadow of heartache that sits within us.

We must remember that we are not our wounds . Pain is never meant to insulate our hearts or enhance a fearful existence. The signature of what hurts us is underlined with a mark to embrace the glory of acceptance and instill fearlessness. If we allow our anguish to cushion or curb every decision we make then we have already lost the worthiness of that experience. Love does not live well or feel nourished in the oblivion of fear.

Harnessing love to heal

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility. - Khalil Gibran

We are never given any experience or circumstance without having the innate capacity to overcome it. Time is not our healer -- we are our own soul medics . Our times spent in the depth of heartbreak provide us with wisdom, humility, and the ability to penetrate our inherent truth. We synthesize ourselves through a higher love and understanding and forgo the bitterness that hurt can impel. Bitterness has nothing to offer us but further bewilderment and anxiety.

When we harness love to heal, we stir our soul into a sense of harmony and consonance. Love is found in forgiveness, acceptance, and in the bounty of hope that nestles so warmly inside our heart. This love lights our way through the darkness so we can galvanize strength and compassion for ourselves and others . We can create enlightened cycles rather than remain in historic ones that are locked into harrowing repeat.

When we mend, we are stronger

The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right. — Neil Gaiman

Our mind serves to protect us from pain; our heart seeks to heal it and be stronger through it. We should not sacrifice the wisdom that pain can impart by rejecting our inner calls to heal our sense of a broken heart.

Check out these quotes about love

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Jelly Roll Visits His High School Years After He Was Banned

High school is either one of the best times or one of the worst times of your life, depending on how you lived it. You might have nostalgia for the “good old days,” or you might want to leave that part of your life far, far behind.

For famous country star Jelly Roll, the high school years were especially dramatic. In fact, he’s been quite open in the past about those years of drug addiction and legal battles. Things got so bad that he was actually kicked out of his high school in Nashville, Tennessee.

Making his way back

Jelly Roll ended up in jail nearly 40 times before he finally was able to start turning his life around. He was only fourteen years old the first time he went to jail, and he spent his last prison sentence earning his GED. Three years later, he collaborated with Lil Wyte on Pop Another Pill . The video went viral, and Jelly Roll started to ride the wave to fame and fortune.

Despite all his success and a career that has taken him all over the world, high school was somewhere Jelly Roll never thought he’d go back to. He’d been kicked out, banned. He wasn’t supposed to set foot in that school ever again.

Guest of honor

So imagine his surprise when he was invited back…and not just for a visit but for a special pep rally given in his honor! When he walked up to the school’s front door, it was a powerful moment. And this time, when Jelly Roll walked the halls of Antioch High School, students and teachers actually cheered.

“The love and giving back that they showed my husband was the sweetest thing ever to watch,” said Bunnie Xo, host of the Dumb Blonde podcast and Jelly Roll’s wife, as she watched her husband walk down those halls.

The singer and songwriter went all in for the students that day, singing some of his most popular songs in the school gym and staying longer to sign autographs.

Bittersweet memories to last a lifetime

But it wasn’t all roses for Jelly Roll and Bunnie Xo. That same day, she learned that her father, who had been struggling with cancer, passed away. It was a day of strong emotions for the couple, a day of ups and downs.

In a video she posted to TikTok, Bunnie Xo said, “The smiles on those kids’ faces was priceless and what I truly needed in that moment. Thank you Antioch High School students and staff for the warm hug we needed that day. Go, Bears!”

Things came full circle for Jelly Roll the day he was able to go back to his high school for the first time in decades. While high school was not a happy memory for him before, now he can look back on the day of the pep rally and hold Antioch High School closer to his heart. Now he can look back at how far he’s come .

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Couple Finds Note in Their New Home Left By Previous Owners

A house is often so much more than four walls and a roof over our heads. It's the place where dreams take root, where precious memories are made, and where the echoes of laughter linger in the silence long after everyone has left.

Even though it's "just a house" it's an integral part of our lives. And when the time comes to bid farewell it can be difficult to close the door.

When one family sold their home of over 60 years, they left behind more than just a piece of their hearts — they left a note.

The Tearjerking Note the Former Owners Left Behind

Laura Rudd and her husband the day they moved into their new house in Lincolnshire, England.

@laurajrudd/TikTok

Laura Rudd and her husband purchased their first home in Lincolnshire, England in 2020. It was an exciting time for the young couple, filled with anticipation and big dreams for their future.

But while it was the start of their new beginning it was a bittersweet end of an era for another family. One that had lived a lifetime within those walls.

To celebrate the new owners, the sellers left behind a handwritten note, offering a glimpse into the history and heart of the house Laura and her husband now called their own.

Laura told Newsweek that they discovered the note on the kitchen counter, propped up with a bottle of Prosecco on moving day.

In a now-viral TikTok , she shares the heartfelt note with nearly 2 million viewers, and we're alllllllll sobbing.

"Welcome to your new home," the letter begins. The author shares that the house has been their family home "since the mid-50s" and "Mum & Dad raised all four of us children in these four walls."

It continues:

"In the following years there has been so much happiness and love and sadly a little grief too, hence where we are today. But in all of these years, the thing that resounds the most is the laughter, and there was so much of that with family, relatives and friends."

The letter ends with touching best wishes, "So on behalf of all of us ... I sincerely wish you all the happiness this wonderful home has to offer, not to mention the stunning outlook and views."

While the letter was a surprise to Laura, its sentiments were not.

"It was obvious from when we first looked around the house that it was very loved," Laura told PEOPLE . "It must have been a hard sell."

Response to the Touching Note

www.tiktok.com

The heartfelt letter "hit home" with viewers, quickly going viral and garnering over 110,000 likes and nearly 1200 comments.

"Omg sobbing! Enjoy your new home xx," wrote one commenter.

"This made me cry! How lovely!" said another.

Other commenters shared their own stories:

"A couple were outside my house taking photos, asked them why and it was his grandad's first house, obvs I invited them in for a tour. Mrs said 'we’ll be robbed in days to come,' but I got an email from him showing his grandad in a hospice watching the video and reliving memories. Priceless and was free for me to do," wrote one.

Another shared, "This happened to me once I was getting a cab home and the cab driver said oh my god I grew up in your house he was emotional. Asking me did I keep the roses and the flowers ...I did indeed."

And a third said, "This happened to us. The elderly parents passed and we bought it off the daughters, it was their childhood home. A builder had put a higher offer in than us but they refused his offer and took our lower offer because they wanted us and our 3 young children to have the house and it continues to be a happy family home. They left us a photograph of their parents and a lovely card with a similar msg."

Paying it Forward

A dog and a pregnant woman taking a picture in a mirror.

For four years, the house looked after Laura and her husband well. They got married there and got a dog. And eventually, it's where they found out they were going to be parents.

Over the years, the note wasn't the only treasure they discovered.

"We found many little pockets of love when renovating, such as a note under the wallpaper saying, 'I did this 18/12/65' and there were names carved into cement where they'd installed a door as a later date," Laura shared.

Recently, the couple sold the home to new owners, gifting them the letter from the original owners as well as their own. They hope it's just the start of an incredible tradition.

There's an old saying, "Home is where the heart is." However, it fails to mention that even after we move on, there's always a little piece of that heart that gets left behind, forever a part of the place we once called "Home."

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Getting Over a Break-up Essay

Getting over a break-up is always a difficult process. There are different opinions on the ways how to cope with a broken heart: some people suppose that a person who suffers just needs more time to reconsider past relations; others suppose that a person whose heart is broken is to experience certain changes.

Generally, it should be pointed out that healing a broken heart is considered to be an individual process. Moreover, one is to keep in mind that the so-called process of recovering depends upon a person’s individual approach towards the problem he or she experiences.

There are different ways, which can be used, in order to cope with a negative psychological state. For instance, to heal a broken heart some people should fall in love with other persons; others should devote their lives to work.

The second variant may sound really strange; however, there are many cases, when people start their career, in order to get over a break-up. Those, who are engaged in various activities, just have no time to think about a strong emotional pain they experience.

In other words, one can conclude that exhausting or hard work can be regarded as an effective medicine to heal a broken heart. Of course, it is necessary to point out that hard work is not a universal panacea.

Still, it is necessary to keep in mind a person’s character, his or her beliefs, values and expectations. Thus, on the other hand, a person who tries to find a new love should also understand that there are no guarantees of success.

Moreover, some psychologists suppose that it is better not to look for a new relationship so soon; on the contrary, if a person does not want to reconsider the situation which happened, he or she may face a severe depression.

For this reason, one is to remember that being alone for a certain period is one of the necessary steps a person with a broken heart is to follow.

For a person, who experiences negative psychological emotions, it is also extremely important to understand that a break-up is not a fatal disease. One can start doing things that he or she used to do before he or she was not alone.

In other words, people who suffer must distract their minds from their sorrows. People are to try to forget about a previous routine; to do this they are to use their own methods.

Thus, taking into account the experiences of other individuals who have already coped with a broken heart, one can rely on some of the techniques they used: the most popular method, which can be used, in order to heal a broken heart is to throw everything away ( everything includes numerous things, which remind about a previous relationship).

The things may include various presents, photos, letters, etc. Throwing things may be regarded as the beginning of a new life, better life. So, one can probably suppose that the process of throwing things has a symbolical meaning.

A person with a strong character, who understands the importance of distraction and can control his or her emotions, should create a good plan of action.

For instance, one can imagine that his or her personality includes two persons: the first one is a person who suffers; the second one is a doctor, who understands the importance of time for a patient’s treatment.

Thus, the first person can suffer for about three days; a doctor must understand that the process of suffering should not last more than three days. For this reason, a person whose heart is broken is to start doing certain things on the fourth day!

There is no need to reconsider the problem anymore. If the process of suffering is to long, serious psychological disorders may occur.

Getting over a break-up is a complicated process, but a person who wants to heal his/her heart should understand that a new period in his/her life must be started immediately.

A psychological support of friends, parents, etc. cannot be neglected. Thus, one can talk to someone he/she trusts. There is also no shame in crying.

One of the most important things a person is to keep in mind while suffering is that he/she is not alone. Good friends and parents will always provide with a warm support and do their best, in order to help.

Another moment, which should be highlighted, is an action a person can commit out of revenge. It is necessary to understand that any actions for revenge will bring no good results.

On the contrary, sooner or later, a person will regret for his/her mistakes. It is more important to concentrate on future, and realize the nearest perspectives.

Every day the world we live in gives us perfect opportunities to bring positive changes into our lives. So, the first step we are to follow to start a new page is to notice the opportunities, which are all over.

Finally, one is to keep in mind that what at first may appear to be ending – is often a new beginning.

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IvyPanda. (2019, April 8). Getting Over a Break-up. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-broken-heart/

"Getting Over a Break-up." IvyPanda , 8 Apr. 2019, ivypanda.com/essays/the-broken-heart/.

IvyPanda . (2019) 'Getting Over a Break-up'. 8 April.

IvyPanda . 2019. "Getting Over a Break-up." April 8, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-broken-heart/.

1. IvyPanda . "Getting Over a Break-up." April 8, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-broken-heart/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Getting Over a Break-up." April 8, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-broken-heart/.

Essay on Broken Heart

Students are often asked to write an essay on Broken Heart in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Broken Heart

Understanding a broken heart.

A broken heart is a common way to describe deep sadness when someone feels great loss, especially in love. Imagine your favorite toy breaking; that pain is like what the heart feels, but much stronger.

Causes of Heartache

Heartache can come from many places: losing a close friend, family problems, or a pet passing away. It’s like losing a piece of yourself, which makes you feel empty and hurt inside.

Healing Takes Time

Fixing a broken heart isn’t quick. It’s like a cut that slowly gets better. You need support from friends, fun activities, and sometimes just time to let the pain fade away.

Moving Forward

After a while, the sadness gets less, and you start to find happiness in other things. It’s like the sun coming out after a storm. You grow stronger and learn from the experience.

250 Words Essay on Broken Heart

What is a broken heart.

A broken heart is a common way to describe the pain we feel when we lose someone we love very much. This can happen when friends stop being friends, when someone we love does not love us back, or when someone close to us dies. It is not a real break in the heart, but it can feel very heavy and hurt a lot.

Why Does It Hurt?

When we care for someone deeply, they become a big part of our life. If they leave, it’s like losing a piece of ourselves. This loss makes us feel empty and very sad. Our bodies can actually feel this sadness with tears, aches, and feeling tired. It’s okay to feel this way; it shows we truly cared.

How to Heal a Broken Heart

Healing takes time. Just like a small cut on your finger, a broken heart needs time to get better. Talking to family, spending time with friends, and doing things you enjoy can help. Sometimes, writing about your feelings or drawing a picture can make your heart feel a bit lighter.

Learning from the Pain

A broken heart can teach us a lot. It can make us stronger and teach us what we want in a friend or partner. We learn about our feelings and how to care for ourselves when we are sad. With each day, the pain gets a little less, and we start to see the sunshine after the rain. Remember, after a broken heart, we can love again and feel happy.

500 Words Essay on Broken Heart

A broken heart is a common term we use when we feel deep sadness because of love. It can happen when people who care for each other decide not to be together anymore, or when someone we love does not feel the same way about us. It’s like having a heavy stone in your chest instead of a beating heart. This feeling isn’t just something we imagine; it can actually affect our bodies and minds.

Why Do Hearts Break?

Hearts break for many reasons. Sometimes, friends may stop talking to each other, or someone we trust might let us down. The most common reason is when someone’s romantic relationship ends. When two people share special moments and then go separate ways, it can leave a big hole in their lives. Imagine having a best friend who is always there for you, and suddenly, they are not. It hurts because that special connection is gone.

Physical Pain of a Broken Heart

A broken heart isn’t just an idea; it can cause real pain. People often feel a tightness in their chest or a stomachache. Doctors have found that extreme sadness from a broken heart can even make someone sick. It’s important to remember that this pain doesn’t last forever, and it gets better with time.

Emotional Effects

When our hearts are broken, we may feel many emotions like sadness, anger, or confusion. It’s like riding a roller coaster that only goes down. We might cry a lot, not want to eat, or feel like we don’t want to do anything. These feelings are normal, and it’s okay to feel them. Talking to family, friends, or a counselor can help us understand and manage these emotions.

Learning from Heartbreak

Even though it’s tough, a broken heart teaches us important lessons. We learn about who we are and what we truly value in relationships. It can show us our strength and how to cope with tough times. We also learn to be careful with our own hearts and the hearts of others in the future.

Mending a Broken Heart

Healing a broken heart takes time, but there are things we can do to help ourselves feel better. Staying close to family and friends who care about us is a good start. Finding new hobbies or activities can also take our minds off the pain. It’s like putting a band-aid on a cut; it doesn’t fix it right away, but it helps it heal.

With time, the heavy feeling of a broken heart gets lighter. We start to smile and laugh more. We might even feel ready to make new friends or fall in love again. It’s like the sun coming out after a long storm. A broken heart doesn’t mean we can never be happy again; it just means we have the chance to grow and find new happiness.

In conclusion, a broken heart is a tough experience that most people go through at some point. It’s a mix of physical and emotional pain that teaches us a lot about ourselves. With support from those around us and by taking care of ourselves, we can heal and find joy again. Remember, it’s always darkest before the dawn, and after a broken heart, brighter days are ahead.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Broken Family
• Essay on Empty Vessels Make The Most Noise
• Essay on Empowerment

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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Science can explain a broken heart. Could science help heal mine?

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At the sight of anything that reminds me of her, I say hello, or want to give it a high five. Sometimes I say a prayer that we’ll talk again. Other times I queue up Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now”:

As every fairy tale comes real, I’ve looked at love that way.

Yes, 14 months after a debilitating breakup I realize things need to change.

So I recently embarked on a research journey. Heartbreak, I discovered, is a subject of scientific inquiry, with researchers plumbing the effects and mysteries surrounding a loss. Heartache is no longer just the purview of poets. Perhaps by talking to these researchers, I reasoned, I could deal with my own heartbreak.

Experts have found that breakups, especially a difficult, unexpected one such as my own — we’d been living together less than a month — can burrow deep into our subconscious. Everyone knows they hurt, but science shows they can alter our bodies as well as our minds.

“People suffer,” said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who has done extensive studies on heartbreak. “And they suffer for a while.”

More than 400 days after the breakup, I continue to stew on it, analyze it, grieve it. I also haven’t had more than three consecutive hours of sleep since the fall of 2022. That’s not completely unexpected, say researchers.

“Heartbreak,” said Guy Winch, who has written multiple books on healing and heartache, “is one of the most painful experiences we go through as people.” No wonder he called heartbreak “a form of disenfranchised grief,” and one society does not take seriously.

Heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences we go through as people.

— Guy Winch, psychologist

His words brought momentary relief, partly because extended heartbreak brings with it a sense of shame and isolation.

I have no shortage of friends who have shared tales of tragedy they view as more significant than the dissolution of my engagement. So much so that I started to think I was abnormal. Fisher assured me I wasn’t. Simply “moving on” — a rite of passage that can involve some combination of therapy, ice cream, binge watching, alcohol and time — is a myth.

“We’ve been able to prove that when you are rejected in love, you are in an addicted state,” Fisher said. How addicted? Fisher said heartbreak activates the same region of the brain triggered by, say, heroin. These areas of the brain are active when we’re happy in love, too, and can remain on high alert long after a separation occurs.

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Researchers studying heartbreak also found activity in a brain region that registers physical pain.

Whew. I am normal, after all. I’m also, say experts, in danger.

“Physical changes in your body are real and they are happening,” said Florence Williams, author of “Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey,” a lauded text on the subject. “If we don’t recover from heartbreak, we will get sick. Urgency is critical, because healing does not just happen.”

Looks like I’ll need more than ice cream.

“You got it bad,” David A. Sbarra, a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, wrote to me.

That wasn’t an official diagnosis, but considering Sbarra has made heartache his primary field of study for more than two decades, it carried weight. He’s published multiple papers that link divorce with health risks, including an elevated chance of early death. I wanted to know if the past 14 months of my life had potentially shaved a few years off it.

There’s not a simple answer. “Psychological stress,” said Sbarra, can wreak havoc on multiple parts of the body. But Sbarra assured me I was within the “normative range for adaptation,” or the expected time it takes to get back to normal, which can be up to two years for a particularly painful separation.

But Sbarra also pointed to a study that found that ruminating incessantly over a breakup can lead to long-term lack of sleep and increase one’s resting blood pressure.

I could practically feel my heart start to ache as I read other studies. For instance, separated adults may experience a disruption in how their heart rate is regulated, a stress response Sbarra likened “to releasing the brake on your car” while going downhill. It could lead to an “increased risk of a cardiovascular event among people without cardiovascular disease.” A literal broken heart.

I still find myself unconsciously doodling her name whenever I’m in possession of pen and paper. What, I wondered, was going on in my brain? Since I couldn’t find someone to freely place me in a brain scanner, I did the next best thing and rang up Fisher, who has long investigated the neural chemistry of love and heartache.

I spoke with Fisher at one of my lowest points, when I was struggling to not reach out to my former lover every day. As I shamefully recounted sending another embarrassing “I miss you” email, Fisher interrupted and introduced me to the concept of what she calls the “rejected brain.”

A pivotal 2010 study from Fisher and her peers analyzed brain activity that occurred when a heartbroken person viewed a picture of their former partner, versus a neutral party. Some study subjects were just removed from their romantic partnership; others were separated for about 17 months. I had revealed to Fisher that I have a habit of looking at pictures of my former partner and me, and though this ritual leaves me sad, during it I find myself smiling, sometimes even laughing.

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There’s science behind this behavior. Though I couldn’t see Fisher, I could practically hear her nodding as she told me what’s happening inside my head.

“We found activity in a tiny little factory near the base of the brain known as the ventral tegmental area, or VTA,” Fisher said. “And that brain region makes dopamine and sends dopamine to many brain regions. That’s what gives you elation, the focus, the motivation and the craving of intense romantic love. We also found activity in the brain region linked with deep attachment. Just because you’ve been dumped, you’re still in love.”

And there’s more.

“We also found activity in three brain regions linked with craving and addiction,” Fisher said.

I’m like a junkie, returning to a source of diminishing hits. Anyone who knows anything about addiction knows that it’s all-consuming, and with excessive craving comes a lack of self-control. Cue that late-night email that you shouldn’t have sent.

(But not all researchers are comfortable with the addiction phrasing. Grief researcher Mary-Frances O’Connor is one, and the neuroscientist and psychologist recently released the book “The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn From Love and Loss.” Her preferred term is “yearning,” likening the need for loved ones to hunger and thirst.)

And if the person we thought we would spend the rest of our life with is suddenly removed, we are going to crave that person, and think about little else. This is when Fisher gave me some tough love.

“Throw them out,” she said of the photos of us in a hidden folder on my phone. “If you want to give up alcohol, you don’t keep a bottle of vodka on your desk.” And if I couldn’t toss the photos, I should stop looking at them. “All you’re doing is re-traumatizing yourself.”

All you’re doing is re-traumatizing yourself.

— Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist, to me

Unfortunately, I re-traumatize myself daily — sometimes hourly. My ex designed the tattoo on my left forearm, a multicolored fantastical sun inspired by Disneyland’s It’s a Small World . The theme park is a place I go for comfort, and I found a similar mix of playfulness and grandeur in her work. I reflexively grab it when stress or tension strike. The reality is I relied on her, heavily. The ink isn’t going anywhere, nor would I want it to.

Her art fills me with warmth, joy and even, dare I say it, a sense of awe (more on awe later). But I was making progress. If this is an addiction — or a yearning — then it may be one I learn to manage rather than forever kick. When an older, married friend tells me she occasionally thinks of a former lover and wonders “what if?,” I start to think that when it comes to heartbreak, we’re all just trying to stay on the wagon.

Let’s run with the addiction metaphor. “One of the things that we’ve historically done with addiction is to try to get people off heroin and onto something else that feeds the addiction but is less toxic,” said Steve Cole, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the UCLA School of Medicine. Cole wonders, then, what is the methadone equivalent for a broken heart?

For many, it’s jumping back into the dating pool, the so-called “rebound.” But this is risky. As Cole puts it, you’re still living the heartbreak, and while individual results will vary, I found attempts at dating left me feeling empty, reinforcing the idea that my ex is indeed the love of my life.

Cole, however, had some hard truths to deliver. I learned about Cole via Williams and her “Heartbreak” book; his research, he told her, was to “listen for loneliness” via immune-related genes in our body. I was intrigued.

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I wish I could say Cole scared the heartbreak right out of me. Not quite, but I think of our conversation anytime my depression tendencies are urging me back to bed. First, in simple, metaphorical terms.

“When your chief human life preserver suddenly walks off, your brain is like, ‘No, no, no, everything is not OK.’ It starts activating biological defense programs,” Cole said. “It’s sort of like an iron. An iron is a great thing to use if you need to smooth out a wrinkle, but if you leave it on all the time, 24-7, it’ll burn your house down. That’s what these fight-or-flight systems are like. They’re great if a saber-tooth cat just ran through the camp, but they’re not supposed to be there every day.”

And if you happen to be one of the estimated 15% of people who don’t recover in a year or two and fall into a near-permanent state of loneliness ?

In simplified terms, a potentially “overly explosive inflammatory response.” Our body goes into hyper-drive in creating certain kinds of white blood cells, specifically those fighting bacteria. Great, as noted, for a bite from that saber-tooth cat, but less so if we’re just missing an ex (hand raised).

You will, Williams warned me, get sick. As Naomi Eisenberger, a professor of psychology at UCLA, put it, a robust immune response is “a first line of defense against foreign agents, but chronically high levels of inflammation are implicated in a bunch of chronic diseases. Pick one. Cardiovascular disease. Diabetes. Certain kinds of cancer.”

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Illness can take hold regardless of how much comfort food, trashy television or, well, other people, we consume. That explains why, in a particularly low period last June, I told my therapist that I wish I could have a new brain.

Along with equating rejection with physical pain, the mind can further romanticize our former partners. I don’t need help on that front — I have nothing but feelings of goodwill toward my ex.

Fisher again: “When you’re madly in love, there’s a brain region linked to what scientists call negativity bias. Activity in that brain region reduces, so you can overlook the negatives.” Love, it seems, really is blind.

If our brain really had our best interest in mind, said psychologist Winch, it would help us to develop “a lack of tolerance for the person who hurt you and doesn’t see why you’re so great.”

As it turns out science does have a prescription for recovery. It’s called awe. And I wanted it.

It may be possible to accelerate the healing of a broken heart.

Williams theorizes we can speed up our heartbreak recovery by about 25% or 30%. That’s worth it, especially “if it’s going to keep you from having an autoimmune disease.”

Williams gave me a three-pronged prescription.

The first recommendation? Calm.

“Get your body out of fight-or-flight, which is where it is when you feel abandoned and afraid of the future. You are hyper-vigilant. Calm down, however you do that, whether it’s through video games or yoga or taking hot baths.”

Video games, yes, but also music. I dedicate a portion of most every day to listening to an old or brand new record.

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The second? Connection.

“That can be connecting to nature , which it partly was for me,” Williams said, “but also connecting to other people who care about you and who you care about.”

Because of the breakup, I’ve made new friends, reconnected with acquaintances and made a point to be more assertive in making plans. Additionally, a former interview subject and I have formed a sort of heartbreak club; we check in on each other once per month to discuss our progress. I also started volunteering at a local museum.

The third? This can be a little more abstract. We must, said Williams, find a sense of purpose, especially if, like me, the relationship became your purpose.

“What meaning can you make?” Williams said. “You have a reason to get out of bed every day, and you feel you have a contribution to make.”

As Cole put it, a sense of purpose reprioritizes your brain. “It tells the stress section of your brain, ‘Throttle back on that. We have good work to do. Don’t send out fight-or-flight messages to the bone marrow and produce immune cells.’” This is also what has inspired my fascination with awe , in its most scientific sense.

Shortly after learning of my breakup, a friend recommended I read the work of Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology at UC Berkeley, and the faculty director of the university’s Greater Good Science Center.

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In his book “Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life,” Keltner describes awe as the “feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world.” He’s identified eight core spaces in which we can find it: Moral beauty, collective effervescence, nature, music, visual design, spirituality and religion, life and death, and epiphany.

I found awe — a spiritual sense of wonder, curiosity, speechlessness and connection — in my ex. But over the past year, Keltner helped remind me that awe existed before I fell in love with her. Awe appeals to me because there can be a mysticism to it. “You have to rely on philosophy, history, literature and science,” Keltner told me.

And creativity. This reported journey is itself a search for awe, an opportunity, perhaps, to connect to a broader community.

I asked Keltner what he does on a particularly down day. He, after all, wrote the book on the subject, one I return to often.

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“You just have to stop and pause,” Keltner said. But for real, pause. “Put away your checklist and your phone. Open up and feel things. Standing right now, out in the sun, I feel the sun on my skin. That starts to feel awesome.”

“I think about moral beauty,” he continued. “Whose character moves me, and how can I be like them? Nature is transformative. I’m so glad you’re going to museums . I go to a museum once a week, to just step in and feel the creativity. I turn to quotes. I teach them in my classes. Walt Whitman: ‘All goes onward and outward.’ What I love about awe is that it gives you dozens of things to do daily. I try to get 10 minutes per day.”

Ten minutes. I can do that.

I told Keltner that my natural instinct all along has been to search for awe. Walt Whitman for him; Joni Mitchell for me. At the end of the most difficult 14 months of my life, I know that when I feel that urge to reach out, to wonder how she’s doing, to dream we can talk, I have to redirect my brain, to search for something that can inspire rather than simply comfort.

It’s art that I turn to. And yes, much to the disappointment of some of the researchers I’ve interviewed, sometimes it’s her art. It is, after all, tattooed on me. But I feel, if not awe, something akin to it in the knowledge that we met and shared time together.

I believe today a heartbreak prescription requires both scientists and poets. One gives us reason; another fastens us to a continuum. And as awe teaches us, they overlap.

Simply moving on now seems like an old-fashioned idea. We’ve been permanently changed. Again, I return to Joni Mitchell:

Something’s lost, but something’s gained in living every day.

And to acknowledge that, for now, is to not only surrender to the unknown, but to also find purpose.

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Todd Martens joined the Los Angeles Times in 2007 and covers a mix of interactive entertainment (video games) and pop music. Previously, Martens reported on the music business for Billboard Magazine. He has contributed to numerous books, including “The Big Lebowski: An Illustrated, Annotated History of the Greatest Cult Film of All Time.” He continues to torture himself by rooting for the Chicago Cubs and, while he likes dogs, he is more of a cat person.

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Posts & Pages

46 healing thoughts for a broken heart (and the love that lasts).

When your heart is in a million pieces, it feels like more than you could ever survive. But it’s calling forth an unshakable strength that you didn’t even know you had in you. If you need more strength today, read these healing thoughts. They’re light.

They might be exactly what you need to hear today.

When your heart’s breaking, remember that nothing can take away the love . It’s all-powerful, ever-present, intelligent energy that makes life possible. And it’s inside of you right now, beating for you. Hold your hand to your heart. Feel it beating.

46 Comforting Thoughts for a Broken Heart That Needs Healing

1. “Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.” — Jean Giraudoux

2. Every dusk has its dawn.

3. There’s someone who has stood in the same dark place as you. They’d assure you that if you wait for the sun to rise again , you’ll hear the song of hope playing softly with promise.

4. You’re not alone. Ever. Ever. It’s a lie.

5. A broken heart means you’ve loved something, you’ve tried for something, and you’ve let life teach you. It means you lived .

6. “A wounded deer leaps highest.” — Emily Dickinson

7. Your grief is here to teach you something. It doesn’t ask you to let go of love, but quite the opposite — it asks you to love, again and again.

8. In the depths of sorrow you’ll eventually find an unwavering light.

9. Your heart is stronger than you realize.

10. Being consumed by anger, sadness, envy, or frustration is somehow, ironically, just what you need to make a positive change .

11. Your experience of grief is powerful, but so is your ability to love and heal.

12. “What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.” — Haruki Murakami

13. You don’t have all the answers. None of us do.

14. We all need help sometimes, and we’re wise to seek it, accept it, and praise it.

15. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Sometimes, it’s normal, healthy, and necessary to feel defeated so you know what it’s like to rise up another time .

16. Courage is moving through this difficult time, breathing through it, one step and one breath at a time.

17. A good life is a collection of moments, some good and some bad, that ultimately form the puzzle of your life. Don’t judge the whole picture by one piece of the puzzle, but lay your hope in the pieces that have yet to fall in place.

18. Love makes itself visible in pain.

19. If you feel the tears welling up, let yourself cry . Let your tears carry the emotions out of your system. Let them blot out the darkness and lead you down the road to healing.

20. To your suffering add understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable.

21. Grief is frightening, painful, overwhelming, and sometimes lonely, yet it’s somehow and sometimes the only way to experience a deeper sense of love, joy, and peace. Your grief is uniquely yours, but it’s intrinsically connected to everyone and everything in this universe.

22. “Not all those who wander are lost.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

23. This too shall pass. This situation isn’t your final destination, and something good is happening right now on your behalf.

24. A painful ending is really the doorway to a brand new beginning. Do things truly end, then? Open your heart to what you don't know and can't see.

25. Some questions don’t have answers, and for those questions, the answer is: love.

26. A broken heart doesn’t mean you’re broken. The crack is there to let the light pour in.

27. "Let your tears come. Let them water your soul." —Eileen Mayhew

28. Life as you know it (as a human on earth) will end someday, but love doesn’t end . And where there’s love, there’s life.

29. Every single thing has value, and every stage is a step on your way home.

30. “Never forget, you have value. You are worth time, worth energy, worth worship. Your delicate enchantments are a holy wine. Silver aura of my moon. Song of my air. My afternoon shadows. My divine messenger. The literature of stars is in your very pores.” — Benedict Smith

31. When the sun sets, look for the stars .

32. Every interaction, rejection, and heartbreaking lesson is an opportunity to change yourself.

33. Every time you think you’re being rejected, you’re actually being redirected to something better.

34. The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.

35. Your wounds become your wisdom.

36. Your heart has infinite depth. Though breaking, it still beats with devotion. Finding yourself in a dark hole of despair means that you’re traveling the depths of your heart, and when you come out on the other side (which you will) your journey will be marked by a spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of your blessings .

37. “The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.” — Neil Gaiman

38. Where there’s pain, there’s also love. Where there’s sorrow, there’s also hope. Where there’s darkness, there’s always light .

39. A good life isn’t judged by the leaves that fall, but by the flowers that grow.

40. "Forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember…" – Lewis B. Smedes

41. You can’t change other people. If they’re not ready or willing to change, try not to hand out blame or fault. This isn’t their time. It’s your time to change your mind.

42. The love that breaks your heart is the same love that will heal it.

43. “There is no remedy for love but to love more.” — Henry David Thoreau

44. You’re here . You’ve survived 100% of your worst days . That’s a good track record.

45. From this point forward, the love you feel won’t be determined by your circumstances, but by how you take care of yourself through these circumstances.

46. “A final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.” — T.E. Kalem

Which of these thoughts did you need today?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know.

Know someone who needs this? Send it to them. Give that light.

P.S. For a reminder every night of the peace inside you, get a copy of my book, Sleep Affirmations: 200 Phrases for a Deep and Peaceful Sleep . Take care of yourself. Let yourself rest.

Comments on this post (40)

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— Catherine Patrice

Thank you. Beautiful words and they all hold a deep meaning for me ♥️ healing one day at a time and I have hope ♥️♥️

This too shall pass. This situation isn’t your final destination, and something good is happening right now on your behalf. #23.

My son and his half of 20s is experiencing and heartbreak so bad that I feel his pain. All I can do is be here for him, and continue to pray for his healing and recovery from this devastating ending of his once thought soulmate. Thank you for creating this page as for me and I’m sure many others these affirmations are healing.

~ Marie Arizona – 2023-31-03

I am here crying but I will be fine

i love this, soooooooo much! these quotes are magical and the best i have ever seen. thanks

— oluwatobi

i found the exact quote i needed to get me through a very challanging few days thank you and also for the rest of this website thank you

ps i am two weeks removed from a head injury that required brain surgery to save my life hence the quote search tmi i know but shrug smile

— doDO lyfe

I really needed theses., to remind me of my Worth, and that Am Me.. Love all of theses.. #28,33,38,41,42nd 46. Thank u!!

No 27 to all those afraid to shed it years,. Crying doesn’t mean your weak, you’ve just been strong for a long tym. Your new day will come

— Menia lina

Thanks I love that no 7

— Îtz Jåzzï

Very courageous. Thanks♥️♥️

— Amazing Breezy

I like it when it says, you can’t change people when they are not ready to change, do not force them too,or blame them, it’s not about them, it’s your time to change your mind 🔥🔥🔥

Right enough for my 2 year old wounded heart, I am inspired with the thought of #24. I find myself now in another dimension that I was indeed beautiful.

— Angelie Supremo Naquila

I liked no 17.it really ease my mind and make me feel free 😊

— Mumeen Mhakins

Lois, I think it’s okay to hurt, and to accept the pain even if you don’t accept that you deserve(d) it. <3

— Jennifer Williamson

Thank you for sharing You are such a Blessing.

— Shirley Jones

I needed to read these today… thank you for sharing. I try very hard d to find the positive in even hurt but today has been overwhelming. To care for someone and be rejected because he has an illness still hurts. Thanks again. I am going to buy your book as mine goes to a publisher.

— Lois Usselman

Every time you think you’re being rejected, you’re actually being redirected to something better.

— Emmanuella

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Healing a Broken Heart

Steps to healing .

Posted November 22, 2020 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

Linda : There are three major ways that hearts get broken: abandonment, inconsistent attachment , and rejection. With abandonment, the person that we were formerly attached to leaves. Perhaps it was not their choice and they died, or it can be an actual physical leaving, or the person can leave emotionally because of mental illness, addiction , or depression . No matter what the cause of the loss, the grief is intense. The pain is both physical and emotional and it can literally feel that our heart is breaking.

Inconsistent attachment is crazy-making due to how unpredictable the partner is. Sometimes they come close and then in a flash, they are gone. Even when the partner is close, there is no ease or peace of mind because we know the pattern and realize that they will soon be missing once again. A pervasive sense of anxiety is present due to the awareness that love will be snatched away.

Rejection can feel like an attack. The person we have given our heart to holds it in the palm of their hand and can clamp their hand shut at any moment. Our partner can ignore, judge, criticize, or project their self-hatred . They know us well enough to know our tender areas and use that knowledge to wound us.

Any of the three forms of pain can cause us to withdraw in an effort to protect our tender wounded heart. One popular choice made is to isolate, like a lobster hiding under the rocks when it sheds its old carapace, fearful of being eaten while missing its protective shell. A temporary choice of protection is useful, but for many, their isolation is not short term. Some make a lifestyle out of their self-sufficiency. Fearing being hurt again, their stance of “I don't need anybody” can become a defensive way of living.

Or the unhealed broken-hearted person may date, or even get involved with one person, but may have strict restrictions on how frequently they see each other and keeps the relationship in the uncommitted, superficial zone.

The way to heal the broken heart is to:

• Believe that it is possible to recover from a severe blow.
• Tell the truth about the intensity of the pain starting with ourselves, to then go on to share the grief with others.
• Find forgiveness for the person who betrayed us in an important step in the process and cannot be rushed.
• Forgive ourselves for any part that we may have played in the demise of the relationship.
• Reach out to our friends and to commit to becoming a gracious receiver of their input. They know us well so can help us to see more clearly increasing our sense of self.

Our self-esteem is likely to have fallen while we were reality-testing with someone who did not see us accurately.

Dare to find the courage to desire to be close to another once again. Find the motivation to risk involvement in a meaningful way.

Learn to trust ourselves to bounce back from adversity.

Find the strength and courage to emerge from isolation to get back in the game.

Believe that we have learned from our previous ordeal, and now can discern who we can entrust with our fragile heart.

By gradually re-involving ourselves with someone who is capable of being consistently caring, we are soothed. The pleasure and ease of the connection restore our hope and faith that had been battered. The comfort of a loving partnership bathes our hearts in loving-kindness. When at long last, we exchange love and care with someone who is safe, consistent, respectful, and fully present with us, the depth of appreciation of their trustworthiness heals our broken heart. Then we can live in gratitude for the love that has been hard-won.

Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W. , and Charlie Bloom, M.S.W. , are the authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love .

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Writing Tips Oasis - A website dedicated to helping writers to write and publish books.

How to Describe a Broken Heart in Writing

By Brittany Kuhn

Does a couple in your novel breakup ? Let us help you write this incident. Read on to learn how to describe a broken heart in writing.

• Hard to deal with emotionally because it has been caused or causes distress.
• Quite serious or important.
• Large number or amount.

“Her broken heart weighed so heavily on her that she could barely make herself move, much less feel.”

“The whole ordeal made his broken heart feel even heavier than before.”

How it Adds Description

When we get our heart broken, the sadness that comes after can feel like a burden. Using the word heavy to describe a broken heart really highlights the physical weight of sadness. The reader can imagine how difficult the character must find it to continue with daily life in spite of their broken heart.

2. Bleeding

• Feeling melancholy or stress.
• Sometimes used as an intensifier , similar to really or extremely .

“She could almost feel the sadness bleeding from her broken heart whenever their song came on the radio.”

“The grief bleeds from my broken heart every time I think of Jimmy and the car accident.”

Saying that a character’s broken heart bleeds shows the reader that the character cannot contain their sadness. Bleeding can also be used to show an extra intensity to the sadness, as if it runs through their veins and cannot be eliminated so easily.

Lacking substance, purpose, life or value.

“She wasn’t just broken hearted; she was completely empty .”

“It was hard to tell if his broken heart made him feel empty or if it was the lack of sleep and food.”

Sadness doesn’t always cause a lot of emotional outbursts. Sometimes a broken heart simply drains the energy from a person and leaves them emotionless. Describing that sadness as empty will help the reader feel physically how the broken heart has stolen the character’s zest for life.

Feeling of pain , either physical or emotional.

“She noticed that her broken heart ached less and less every time she saw him with his new wife.”

“I grabbed my chest at the ache he caused me, as if he had literally broken my heart with his words.”

Aching highlights for the reader how much the sadness is hurting the character. Like a real broken bone, a broken heart will hurt physically from the injury. However, aching also signals the healing process has begun so maybe an aching broken heart is slowly start to mend back together.

5. Bitterness

• Acting offensive or upsetting.
• Feeling an intense or severe reproach, sadness or hostility.
• Full of scorn and spite.

“There was no joy or happiness to be found inside him anymore; his broken heart left him feeling only bitterness and spite.”

“What was a broken heart if not bitterness replacing optimism?”

When someone breaks your trust and your heart, it makes you question everything new person or opportunity that comes after. By describing the character as bitter , you are highlighting the distrust they now feel because of their broken heart.

Feels like it will last forever .

“It felt like this broken heart was endless ; with every song he heard, every smile he saw, his heart would break even more.”

“Was the agony of his broken heart as endless as time itself?”

Right after our hearts are broken, we feel like we’ll never find happiness again. Using endless to describe that feeling of hopelessness and despair that follows a broken heart shows the reader the character’s pessimistic state of mind in that moment.

7. Despondent

Full of misery, depression , or disappointment.

“She started at him despondently while her heart broke into tiny pieces.”

“I couldn’t help but notice the despondent look on her face; she wasn’t doing such a good job of hiding her broken heart as she thought.”

Despondent suggests that a person has succumbed to their sad situation, whether that be because they’ve lost all their money or their home or their family. By describing your character as despondent , you are showing that their broken heart is beyond repair, and they are affected by it in the deepest way.

8. Agonizing

Causing great pain ; torturous; cruel.

“Every time I heard her voice, I could feel the agony of my broken heart all over again.”

“The intensity of my broken heart was agonizing; I felt like I couldn’t move for the pain.”

Sadness, especially sadness caused from a broken heart, can cause a person physical pain. If you use agony or agonizing to describe how the broken heart has physically affected the character, your reader can imagine the emotional pain they must be feeling, as well.

• Lonely or abandoned.

“When he broke her heart, she became the forlorn and anxious girl she is now.”

“Why would I look anything but forlorn ? She broke my heart and left me to die!”

If you want to show how a broken heart is affecting the character, use forlorn to describe their sad, depressed demeanor as it suggests someone who just never looks happy, even when they try to smile. The reader can imagine just how painful the broken heart is and how much it hurts the character.

10. Unmendable

Unable to be fixed or repaired .

“She felt as if her broken heart was unmendable ; nothing she could do lessened the pain.”

“There were certain actions that would cause an unmendable broken heart. He happened to do three of them last night.”

By describing a broken heart as unmendable , you are stressing to the reader that whatever has caused the broken heart is so bad that it cannot be undone. The reader can empathize with the character’s pain and distrust because they can also imagine a time when they felt their broken heart was never going to get better.

What to say (and not say) to someone with a broken heart.

Recently, I read On Grief & Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler—a powerful book about how human beings cope with many types of loss, including the death of a person you love, the death of a dream, or the death of a particular identity.

After finishing the book, I meandered over to Kessler’s website. There, I found a very thoughtful, beautiful list of what to say—and not say—to someone who is grieving , particularly someone who is grieving the death of a parent, sibling, spouse, or child.

Kessler’s list inspired me to create my own list, but focusing on a different kind of loss: break-ups and divorce.

If you know someone who is grieving the end of a relationship (something I’ve been personally navigating this last year), I hope this list is helpful for you.

What not to say

The following statements might not feel comforting to someone with a broken heart—either because they’re aggressively positive/cheerful (which hurts), or aggressively cruel/critical of their ex (which hurts, too), full of pressure (“hurry up and stop feeling sad”), dismissive (“get over it, things could be much worse”) or just don’t feel “true” (too black and white, not acknowledging the grayness and complexity of the situation).

Even though you have the very best of intentions (you want to help them feel better) these particular phrases might not be helpful right now.

1. “You need to get back out there and start dating again!”

2. “Well, you are fabulous. He’s an idiot. It’s his loss. One day he’ll realize what a huge mistake he has made and by then, too bad, you will have moved on!”

3. “Break-ups are tough, but you know…things could be much worse. My friend’s husband just got diagnosed with cancer and he’s been given six months to live. Now that’s really something to feel sad about.”

4. “You’ll fall in love again and all of this will just be a distant memory. You’ll see.”

5. “This is great fodder for your next book! You’ll turn this whole experience into a bestselling novel or movie script! You’ll be laughing on the red carpet at the Oscars while he’s watching at home on the couch!”

6. “She’s an asshole. You deserve so much better. One day you’ll think, ‘I can’t believe I wasted five years with her’.”

7. “I totally get what you’re going through. I went through a rough break-up last year…but then I met someone amazing and now we’re engaged! You’ll get there soon, too!”

8. “Well, I’m sure you’re learning plenty of valuable lessons from this experience.”

9. “This is such a great opportunity for you! You can use this time while you’re single to improve yourself, focus on yourself, love yourself, take a painting class, learn tai chi! So many great things will come from this! It’s really a huge blessing!”

10. “You know what you need to do? Blast some fun music and have a dance party in your living room! You’ll feel so much better!”

(When you’re so heartbroken that you can barely convince yourself to eat or take a shower, a dance party sounds…ah, how do I put this? Excruciatingly horrendous.)

What to say

Here are a few things my family and friends have said to me this last year—things that have really, really, really helped.

1. “Heartache is so painful. I wish I could do something to take the pain away, but I can’t. I’m so sorry you have to experience this and I know it hurts so much.”

2. “You don’t have to go through this alone. I love you. All of your friends love you. We’re here for you.”

3. “You can text me anytime you want. My door is always open to you.” (Also: “If you feel the urge to text your ex, text me instead. Text me and say everything you want to say to him. You can pretend I’m him. Send it all to me.”)

4. “If you want to call me and cry, vent, talk about your ex, or talk about something completely different, anything you need, just call.”

5. “Every relationship is different and every break-up is different. You are grieving right now, and there’s no ‘one right away’ to grieve. I hope you’ll do whatever you need to do, and take as much time as you need. There is no rush.”

6. “What’s something that would make your life just a tiny bit easier right now? Could I bring over some food? Wash your sheets and make your bed? Fill up your car with gas? Something else? I know you’ve got so much weighing on you right now, so I’d love to do something to make your day a little easier and calmer.”

7. “Hi. I am just checking in. How is your heart today?”

8. “Hey. How are you doing today? If the answer is ‘not okay,’ that’s okay.”

9. “I just wanted to tell you: I’m proud of you. No need to reply unless you want to. I just wanted to send a hug in your direction.”

10. “I love you.”

Everyone grieves in their own way. No two experiences are alike. If you’re not sure what to say to someone who is grieving, trust your hut (heart + gut) and follow your instincts. If you’re still drawing a blank, you can always say:

“I’m so sorry to hear about this. I wish I knew what to say. I don’t have the right words.”

Sometimes saying nothing at all—just being there, and offering a few moments of your undivided attention, being quiet, caring, and compassionate—is the best thing you can offer.

And to anyone out there who’s currently cradling a broken heart: you’re not alone, you’re going to survive, and I’m right there with you.

I don’t want to push my advice onto you, however, if you want a few recommendations on how to cope with the pain, I can recommend listening to soothing whale sounds , boxing class/punching things, gentle piano music , ho’oponopono , crying, more crying, therapy, cbd oil, quiet walks at night-time when the streets are emptier and calmer, writing letters and then burning them, sleeping a lot, cleaning and decluttering your home to get rid of stale energy , lighting candles, washing your sheets, being in/near the ocean, and anything else that your hut (heart + gut) urges you to do.

Your hut knows what it needs.

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My Broken Heart Essay (645 words)

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Being in love is one of the most wonderful feelings one could experience freely here on earth. Love inspires and motivates people to be the best version of their selves. Many times, when we are in a happy state of being in love, we tend to take for granted unintentionally the other aspects of our lives mainly because we only focus our attention to the significant person we are with. Not all relationships are successful; however, having a failed love makes a person better. When I had my heart broken, I grew closer to God and to my family.

While I was still in a relationship, I seldom come to family gatherings due to always giving my time to my ex-boyfriend. I gave him so much time that I forgot to keep some for myself, so when I became single I make-up to my family for all the times that I was not there for them. It really is easing to know that I have understanding parents. They guide me when I was going through my heartbreak. Breaking up with my ex-boyfriend was one of the best decisions that I have ever made. Even though I was completely devastated of the break-up, it led me closer to God.

A friend of mine connected me again to the Lord, and it gave me so much peace of mind and that really helped me to be more positive in life and love. In addition to being positive, it also helped me to moved on faster and I studied harder. Since I was broken hearted, I focus myself also on studying and spending my time with my new friends. One major improvement after the break-up was my grades in school. I do not study that much, I rather talk to my ex-boyfriend than open up a textbook and read.

When we broke up, I had all the time in the world to study and do my homework’s on time. Consequently, I got good grades, and I was included in the list of honor student at the end of the semester. I was proud of myself for achieving something good out of something bad. Being single makes one extra-friendly. I met new people at school whom I seldom notice due to always thinking of my ex-boyfriend. It is nice to know more people because then one would not always be alone and feel lonely, and having friends means having a lot of people to talk to and hang out with.

As a result of having good grades at school, I was able to do the things that I want for myself, too. One of the major perks of being single is freedom. Freedom is constrained when a person is in a relationship. One could make decisions without having to think of someone else’s feelings. I use my freedom wisely; I enrolled myself to the gym and got myself a part-time job. This is the perfect time for self-growth because now that the relationship has ended, one could ponder the strengths and weaknesses that he/she possesses to know thy self more and be a better person.

Those realizations could also be useful to the next relationship one will be into, so he/she will not repeat the same mistakes that were done in the past. Despite of having a failed love, I gained a lot more from it. It drew me closer to God, to my family, to my friends, and most importantly to myself. I can now say that I am a better person than I was before; I learned to balance things out and know my priorities in life. Having my heart broken was really a positive experience for me. If only people could focus on the positive aspects of life, they will not be in despair and self-loathe when they failed in a relationship.

This essay was written by a fellow student. You may use it as a guide or sample for writing your own paper, but remember to cite it correctly . Don’t submit it as your own as it will be considered plagiarism.

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My Broken Heart Essay (645 words). (2018, Aug 06). Retrieved from https://artscolumbia.org/my-broken-heart-55343/

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I’m the kardashians’ party planner — these 3 tips for events will take them to the next level.

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Want to party like a Kardashian?

While you may not get all the glitz and glamour of their A-list lifestyle, the family’s personal party planner has shared how the reality TV royalty pulls off their kids’ extravagant parties — and gave a few tips for parents to plan their own.

Mindy Weiss , a wedding and event planner from Los Angeles, is the mastermind behind Stormi World , Poosh pool parties and, most recently, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s Disney-themed baby shower , which, Weiss dished, was one of her “favorites.”

“I’m always worried that we’ll run out of a theme because there’s so many of them,” Weiss told “ Today ,” referencing the many KarJenner grandchildren.

But the party planner rarely needs to conjure up a theme on her own — the celebrity children make their own requests, which are then relayed to Weiss through their famous parents.

“Every event, we think, ‘Oh, my God. How are we going to do that?'” Weiss quipped, noting that, despite big asks, she’s typically able to pull off “98%” of what clients dream up.

However, not every extravaganza needs the social media fanfare that accompanies the rich and famous, and Weiss offered some party-planning tips for the average family.

For one, she disavowed goody bags — which have recently been condemned as “a bag of garbage” by “Today” host Jenna Bush Hager.

“We have now given up goody bags for art projects  at  the party,” Weiss explained of the two-for-one deal. “It’s an activity and a party favor.”

In return, she’s “all for” no-gift parties , a trend that has grown in recent years and divided parents into two camps: those who want to declutter and those who wouldn’t dare show up empty-handed.

“You as a parent can go to Target or wherever and buy them a birthday present,” Weiss said.

Last, but certainly not least, Weiss won’t throw a party without one key thing that gives her peace of mind: for-hire chaperones.

“We hire camp counselor types that are almost like babysitters. It’s not expensive,” explained Weiss, a mom herself, adding that she’ll often hire lifeguards if a swimming pool is involved. “If you have a large group of kids that are going to a place besides your own home, hire four chaperones for 25 kids.”

She continued: “It’s a great investment and it allows you to enjoy the party and watch your child and not other people’s children.”

Even as a professional party planner, some events won’t go off without a hitch — just look at the baby shower for Kourtney and Barker’s newborn, Rocky Thirteen.

The day of the 2023 Disney-themed shower, Kourtney came down with a case of COVID not long after Barker did , throwing a wrench in Weiss’ grandiose plans. The solution, they later figured out, was to sit the love birds far away from the other guests so that they could enjoy the decor and party without infecting their loved ones.

Situations such as those taught Weiss to tackle one problem at a time when faced with challenges while executing extravaganzas such as the Kardashians’.

“Instead of getting overwhelmed with several things going on, take one incident at a time because I find there’s always a solution,” Weiss advised, adding that it’s best to keep problem-solving to a small team of people to not disturb “the whole aura of the party.”

“It may upset us that something didn’t work out or wasn’t there, but nine times out of 10, no one knows it was supposed to be there.”

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Don't be fooled, MAGA fever hasn't broken

Wildwood proves maga's fever for donald trump is still raging, by bob hennelly.

This article was originally published by InsiderNJ . Used by permission.

Some Democrats and the corporate news media continue to underestimate the power of former President Donald Trump’s racist and anti-immigrant messaging. Tens of thousands of his supporters showed up at his rally in Wildwood, New Jersey over the weekend, the Associated Press reported. During Trump’s criminal trial in Manhattan, MSNBC hosts have repeatedly used the lack of the physical presence of pro-Trump demonstrators as evidence that our MAGA fever has broken. Wildwood indicates it’s still very much with us.

“When I return to the White House… We will shut down deadly sanctuary cities such as Newark and Philadelphia,” Trump told the massive crowd. “We will not let criminals come into those cities. And we will not let them release illegal criminal aliens into your streets.”

As  Max Pizarro  reported, Trump “brought his cruel, weird, hateful, indicted, egomaniacal, name-dropping TV personality brand to Wildwood, apparently trying to take advantage of perennial New Jersey dysfunction, while entertaining his own public delusion.”

Saturday’s rally with all of the red, white and blue trappings was reminiscent of that night on February 20, 1939, when 20,000 ‘patriotic’ Americans packed the old Madison Square Garden to cheer Fritz Julius Kuhn, leader of the American Bund, which supported Nazi Germany.

Of course, Trump attacked the press that were assembled to cover the rally and his adoring adherents took the prompt from their mind master and booed the assembled reporters. Like the convenor of a lynch mob, Trump’s dark power is fueled by an alchemy that makes people feel bigger and bolder unified in the hate that energizes and defines them.

There’s an instant gratification from it. No need for discernment or fact-checking. He’s right because he’s always right, which is why the politically correct establishment wants to deny him the chance to protect this country from the immigrant invasion being facilitated by Biden and the Democrats.

And here in the Garden State, thanks to the right-wing media juggernaut that’s composed of 101.5 FM, WABC 770 AM, the New York Post and Fox News many thousands of fans exist in that same parallel universe with Trump. They believe the 2020 election was stolen from the former president who says he would pardon the scores of Jan. 6 insurrectionists who stormed the U.S. Capitol waving the Confederate Star & Bars in hopes of disrupting the certification of Joe Biden’s victory.

Unlike in the Civil War, when the Confederate members of Congress were prohibited by the 14 th  Amendment from being eligible for their seats when the war was over, the scores of Republican members who voted NOT to certify Biden’s 2020 victory after the violent attack continue to hold office, like Rep. Jeff Van Drew, R-N.J., who chairs Trump’s New Jersey re-election bid. Their betrayal of the U.S. Constitution has been rewarded with committee chairmanships.

“We all love America. I love Cape May. I love New Jersey,” said Van Drew, reported  Pizarro .  “We see what’s happening today in a faltering economy. We’re here today because we’re tired of the open borders. There is nothing wrong with saying we believe in America first.”

America first. Hmmm. When did we last hear that catch phrase?

In the years since the attack on the U.S. Capitol former, Rudy Giuliani, the architect of so much calumny, found mass media sanctuary and a paycheck on WABC 770 Radio thanks to billionaire businessman John Catsimatidis. But the former mayor of New York was just one of the radio personalities in the WABC line-up that kept the Trump 2020 Big Lie and virulent anti-immigrant narrative alive.

The law and order former mayor is being criminally prosecuted in Georgia and Arizona for his role in the Trump fake electors conspiracy. Back in December, after a week-long federal civil trial, Giuliani was ordered to pay $148 million for defaming election workers Wandrea “Shaye” Moss and her mother Ruby Freeman. Giuliani, along with Trump,  falsely accused Moss and Freeman of tampering with the ballots they were counting at the State Farm Arena for the Fulton County Board of Elections. The election workers’ lives were completely upended by the Giuliani-Trump axis as the MAGA mob fixated on the two civically minded women.

On Friday, before Trump’s Wildwood rally, Catsimatidis pulled the plug on Giuliani’s radio show “after the station said he [Giuliani] violated its policy by trying to discuss discredited claims about the 2020 presidential election on air,” the  New York Times  reported.

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“We’re not going to talk about fallacies of the November 2020 election,” Catsimatidis told the newspaper. “We warned him once. We warned him twice. And I get a text from him last night, and I get a text from him this morning that he refuses not to talk about it.”

What’s not clear from the reporting about Giuliani’s show being canceled is why now, after years of promoting Giuliani and his twisted worldview, WABC pulled the plug. Judging by the size of the crowd at Wildwood the damage has already been done.

Saturday’s rally with all of the red, white and blue trappings was reminiscent of that night on February 20, 1939, when 20,000 ‘patriotic’ Americans packed the old Madison Square Garden to cheer Fritz Julius Kuhn, leader of the American Bund, which supported Nazi Germany. Kuhn spoke in front of a massive rendering of George Washington.

Of course, he denounced the “Jewish-controlled press.”

“We, the German American Bund, organized as American citizens with American ideals and determined to protect ourselves, our homes, our wives and children against the slimy conspirators who would change this glorious republic into the inferno of a Bolshevik paradise,”  Kuhn  told the crowd.

Marshall Curry directed  “A Night At the Garden”,  the short documentary Academy Award film winner in 2017 that uses archival footing to depict the events of that night 85 years ago which grew a large crowd of counter-protestors outside the venue.  Documentary Magazine’s  Tom White asked Curry how audiences reacted to the provocative film.

“Most people are shocked. Very few Americans that I have talked to had any idea that the rally happened, and when they watch it, they have the same sense of revulsion at what was happening—and also a sense of familiarity,” Curry said. “We have seen hateful ideologies get wrapped up in the symbols of American patriotism a lot recently.”

Curry continued. “And we have seen an uptick in hate crimes and anti-Semitic crimes, and all of this stuff that should be ancient history for America doesn’t feel like ancient history. It feels familiar.”

As familiar as this weekend’s headlines.

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Bob Hennelly has written and reported for the Village Voice, Pacifica Radio, WNYC, CBS MoneyWatch and other outlets. His book, "Stuck Nation: Can the United States Change Course on Our History of Choosing Profits Over People?" was published in 2021 by Democracy@Work. He is now a reporter for the Chief-Leader, covering public unions and the civil service in New York City. Follow him on Twitter: @stucknation

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