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4 Arguments Against Divorce to Consider Before Calling It Quits

While divorce may seem the easiest way to deal with an unhappy marriage, it can result in tremendous loss and pain. before you decide to call it quits, consider these four arguments against divorce..

By Tonda R. Bian Updated: July 11, 2018 Categories: Considering Divorce

Anna was divorced in the early 2000s. After 15 years of marriage, her husband discovered her infidelity and came to her with what she saw at the time was his firm decision. He wanted a divorce. There was no discussion. There was no counseling. There was just the attorney who prepared the papers and a cursory division of property. Her guilt let him take control, and years later she wished they had learned to talk during their marriage and especially before it all ended. At first, she thought divorce was freeing, but in the end, it was a personal, social, and financial disaster.

Joan had another situation. She and her husband had been deeply in love, at least at the beginning, but passion gradually diminished over the years and their interests in each other and their interests in what they did as a couple became nonexistent. They always knew divorce was an option and it seemed the best choice at the time. So they divorced – and neither one seems to be any happier now.

Arguments Against Divorce: Consider Your Future as well as Your Present

In her book,  The Case Against Divorce  (Ivy Books, 1990), which is still relevant today, clinical psychologist Diane Medved, Ph.D., takes a bold stance on the outcome of divorce and outlines some of the major arguments against divorce. Her take is that anyone considering divorce needs to think it through and not just consider what seems right for now, but what life could and will likely be down the road.

Divorce should not be an easy decision. It is life changing personally, socially, financially, even professionally, and if there is any hope, anything to hold on to that can be rebuilt, a real effort should be made even if “getting out and moving on” seems more appealing than the vows you took and the life you now have.

4 Arguments Against Divorce

Dr. Medved offers the following major arguments against divorce – which are also reasons to stay together:

1. Divorce hurts you

Some of the consequences include the frequent anger and resentment that may linger for years and deeply affect your life including emotional scars that may never go away. Then, there is the likelihood you will experience a lower standard of living, diminished social interaction and issues with self-esteem following separation and divorce that can be very hard to restore.

2. Divorce hurts those around you

Divorce hurts your children, and your family and friends, who are often forced to take sides.

3. Being single again isn’t necessarily going to be the good life

Finding that ideal partner might likely turn into an impossibility or yet another failed relationship.

4. Staying married and working on your marital issues could be your best choice

You may want to work on your marriage instead of disrupting your life and starting all over. Unless there are issues that are points of no return such as abuse and neglect, there is likely something to hold on to and build on.

Yet, how can there be hope for a marriage where there are issues that might include poor communication, loss of love, no mutual interests, constant arguing or fighting, even infidelity?

A starting point is to go back to the beginning and ask yourself what it was that first attracted you to your spouse and how you felt in the beginning. Make a list of your spouse’s good qualities and why you admire these. Also, make a list of the good aspects of your marriage in the past and present. (Your partner should do the same.)  It just might be that by remembering the good in the past and what still is good, you have something to build on. Start thinking of your marriage in positive terms rather than negative.

Share Your Feelings and Dreams with Your Spouse – and Listen with Real Interest to Their Thoughts

When was the last time you talked (or argued) about anything other than the kids, bills, or household chores?  Make it a point to talk about more meaningful topics – feelings, interests, concerns, dreams. Tell your spouse that you would like to have a good talk and find a time and place (without distractions) to do so. Then repeat. Show and take a real interest in your partner’s thoughts as your partner hopefully will in yours. It won’t be easy, but, it’s worth the effort.

Start doing things together like a dinner date with each other, a nightly walk, church or a shared project. Even volunteer together. Get involved with each other’s hobbies and activities. Surprise each other with notes or a small gift. Create a bucket list together. Be creative.

Think about other ways you can connect with each other. The reason you have drifted apart is likely because you gradually forgot what is important in a healthy relationship – showing and receiving love, respect, admiration, and having a vision for the future together.

If divorce is a real possibility, counseling with a licensed therapist, a trusted pastor, or a divorce coach could be of help. An objective third party (other than family and friends) is always beneficial whether you choose to seek their advice individually or as a couple.

Arguments Against Divorce: No One Leaves a Marriage Unscathed

Remember that no one leaves a marriage unscathed – there are always scars and consequences in divorce. If there is anything you think of that you can hold on to, then you need to try to make your marriage work. Give it everything you can. You and your spouse have an opportunity to rebuild, restore, and even make your marriage more than it has ever been, and if that happens, you will have accomplished something major — you made it work even when it seemed an impossibility.

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Persuasive & Argumentative Essays about Divorce: Free Tips

A divorce is a life-changing experience that affects spouses and their children (if there are any). Since divorce rates are relatively high in modern society, more and more people face this problem nowadays.

When you are assigned to compose an argumentative essay about divorce, you should be as careful as possible. Remember that the split-up of marriage can be a painful experience for everyone involved.

The article will give you useful advice on how to write an outstanding paper on the topic. Learn the essential features of the following types:

• persuasive essay about divorce,
• for and against essay,
• causes and effects of divorce essay,

Check tips from Custom-writing.org below and write the best paper!

• 💍 How to Write It
• 📂 Essays by Type
• ✒ Causes and Effects

✍️ Divorce Essay Topics

💍 how to write a divorce essay.

The general structure of essays on divorce is quite common:

• introduction;
• conclusion.

Yet, there are some variations of what info to include in the body, depending on the essay type. The following structure is applicable for divorce argumentative essay. To learn about the features of other types, keep on reading our article.

Argumentative divorce essays are composed according to the standard structure:

1. Thesis Statement about Divorce

A divorce essay introduction isn’t anything extraordinary as you have to introduce your topic and position.

• You should always give broad information about the issue and state the main problems you will discuss in your writing.
• Make a general statement about the consequences of divorce or the common divorce effects on people.
• Then write your thesis statement on divorce. Clearly explain to the audience the topic you’re going to discuss and your position on that topic. In case you find this task difficult, try using a thesis generator for argumentative essay . This will save you some time.

That’s it! Now your divorce essay introduction is ready.

What’s next?

2. Main Body

This section presents all of your ideas and arguments related to the topic of divorce.

• Here you can write about the adverse effects of divorce on children or the most common reasons people divorce.
• Use compelling arguments and support your ideas with examples.

There are tons of surveys and statistics about divorce on the internet, so it won’t be too challenging to gather the information you need.

3. Conclusion

In the last paragraph, you have to sum up your paper and leave a final expression.

• Summarize every idea presented in your divorce essay.
• Restate your thesis statement on divorce, relying on your reasoning.
• Then list your concluding thoughts on this topic.

Make your sentences clear and easy to follow. Use synonyms to improve your writing style. Such an approach will help you convince the readers and express your thoughts better.

📂 Divorce Essays by Type

The content and reasoning of each paper on divorce depend primarily on the type of essay . See the following sections to understand how to write each of them.

Here are a few types you can consider:

Argumentative Essay about Divorce

When it comes to divorce, there are many disputable topics—for example, the reasons people separate or its impact on children. It’s easy to find support and statistics for both issues. And you’ll need them as facts are a crucial part of a divorce argumentative essay.

As a starting point:

Research your idea and choose a side to support. Make sure that among all argumentative essay topics about divorce, you selected the most interesting for yourself. In your thesis statement, concisely express your position, so the reader can quickly get it.

Then, start writing the entire essay. Regardless of what type of paper you are writing—anti or pro divorce argumentative essay—your writing should meet these requirements:

• Base your points on logic;
• Present both sides of the arguments, but support only one;
• Take into consideration counterclaims;
• Support all the arguments by valid evidence;
• Use a calm, informative tone.

Don’t forget to incorporate quotes and figures to convince your readers.

Persuasive Essay about Divorce

What is the goal of writing persuasive essays ? It’s to convince your reader that your position on a particular problem is true.

Therefore, writing this paper means that you should identify an individual problem related to the topic. In the introduction of your persuasive essay about divorce, you should choose your side and deliver it to the reader.

Crucial note:

Similarly to an argumentative essay, you have to provide credible facts to support your position. Yet here, you use them to back up your opinion and persuade your reader.

While composing your persuasive essay about the legalization of divorce, remember its distinctive features:

• Based on emotions;
• Presents only one side of the argument;
• Ignores counterclaims;
• The tone is dynamic, emotionally-charged, and aggressive to some extent.

Cause and Effect Essay on Divorce

Whether it concerns old parents or a young couple, divorce typically has the same causes and effects. You can often see them clearly, even in books or movies.

The essay outline for the causes and effects of divorce essay is quite common:

• Introduction.

In your divorce essay introduction, provide a general background and compose a clear thesis statement. For example, your thesis might look like this:

A divorce, caused by the spouses’ expectations mismatch, results in a lack of communication between children and one of the parents.

In this part of your essay, investigate the cause and effect of divorce, you stated before.

For the given thesis, the main points would be the following:

The primary cause of divorce is the mismatch in the spouses’ expectations from the marriage.

The divorce often results in a lack of children’s interactions with one of the parents.

• Conclusion.

Synthesize all of your arguments and give your audience a space for a further investigation of your issue.

Narrative Essay about Divorce

If your assignment is to write a family essay, you can choose from a wide range of topics. For this purpose, a marriage essay or a divorce essay would be perfect.

In a short paper about your family, it isn’t easy to cover many topics. So choose only one.

Look through some narrative essay topics and select the one you like:

• The story of my divorce: how did I decide to break up with my spouse?
• My life completely changed after my parents divorced.
• How my life looked like before the divorce with my wife/husband and how it looks now.
• The way divorce destroys healthy communication between children and parents in my family.

For and Against Divorce Essay

As you know, both the negative and positive effects of divorce are disputable, making them appealing to discuss. There are many recent studies and relevant statistical data on the topic to help you write such an essay.

This topic would also be great for a speech on divorce.

Wondering what are the for and against divorce arguments? Take a look at the following:

✒ Divorce: Causes and Effects

We have a pleasant bonus for you! Below, you can find useful arguments and insightful ideas that you can use in your papers on divorce. Apply our concepts in any type of essay, adjusting them to your topic.

Divorce essays can cover the following issues:

Generally Known Facts on Divorces

When covering this issue in your persuasive essay on divorce, you will have to cover the problem altogether. Include the common marriage problems that psychologists all over the world study. Use their statistical data on divorces when crafting your argument.

Divorce is quite a broad topic, and you may want to narrow it down. With so much information available, you could write a research paper on divorce without any difficulty.

Statistical Data on Divorces

Good divorce essays should include enough statistical data. It will add more scientific value and reveal your research abilities. Besides, facts and figures present many exciting topics to comment on.

For example:

You can do significant research concerning divorce causes and consequences. Draw a contrast between divorce in several countries, or examine the age and education of people who officially separate more often.

Reasons for Divorces

What does an essay on divorce mean without discussion of its reasons?

Find out different sociologists’ viewpoints on the reasons for divorces. Then underline the cause you consider to be the most truthful one.

You can also provide your own theory on the grounds for divorces in your persuasive essay on divorce. The key point is to prove the accuracy of your statement.

Divorce Prevention Ideas

If there is a problem, there must be some solution. So, think of the possible ways to make a marriage work.

Investigate divorce causes from a scientific point of view. Examine the primary studies that reveal why people actually break up. Also, discuss the precautions that can help married couples avoid significant conflicts.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents sometimes forget that their divorce isn’t only about them but also about their children. It causes psychological problems for kids, which you can classify in your paper. Don’t forget to add some statistical data on divorce to support your arguments.

Every child reacts differently to their parents’ breakup. It’s a rare case when divorce consequences are positive, making the effects on kids an urgent topic to discuss.

Positive Effects of Divorce

Sometimes divorce isn’t a catastrophe but rather the only way to heal wounds and begin a new life. Often, people don’t recognize that they need to change their lives for the better. This situation is primarily related to abusive marriages or those with regular cheating.

In these cases, the positive effects of divorce may seem easy to understand. However, psychologists have to make great efforts to persuade people to end their relationships. Write a paper making this same argument.

• Negative outcomes of divorce on children .  
• Connection between divorce and antisocial behavior of children.  
• Family crises and the issue it causes: divorce, remarriage, stepparents, adoption. 
• Effect of divorce on teenagers ’ academic performance.  
• Causes and consequences of divorce . 
• What can be done to decrease divorce rates in America ?  
• Does parental divorce affect the rates of juvenile delinquency ? 
• The most widespread reasons for divorce .  
• Analyze marital success factors and Gottman’s predictors of divorce.  
• Impact of divorce on child’s mental health .  
• Change of divorce law throughout history.  
• Positive and negative changes in children’s behavior after divorce.  
• Divorce : a disaster or a benefit?  
• Is cheating one of the main reasons of divorce?  
• Gender stratification impact on divorce trends.  
• Effect of divorce on family relationship .  
• Do divorced parents change their child-rearing styles ?  
• List of factors typically associated with higher divorce rates .  
• The support required for all the members of divorced and single-parent families . 
• Analyze the reasons for high divorce rates . 
• Does divorce only impact adolescent in a bad way?  
• Effect of poverty on divorce rates.  
• Specifics of divorce in the UAE . 
• Does divorce lead to depression ?  
• Family therapy and its role in decreasing divorce rates.  
• The impact of divorce on children-parents relationship.  
• Evaluation of child custody in divorce proceedings.
• How to manage the stress of divorce.   
• Effect of divorce on children’s self-esteem.  
• How to minimize the devastating consequences of divorce .  
• Addiction as the reason for divorce.  
• Effective communication in marriage and its role in preventing divorce.  
• Divorce as the only way out of an abusive relationship.
• Financial issues of divorce and how to overcome them.  
• Parental support is the best way to help children to go through divorce.
• How do adolescents adjust to parental divorce?  
• Do boys and girls react to the parental divorce the same way?  
• Social media can destroy relationship and lead to divorce. 
• Can Christian counseling help couples to resolve their issues and avoid divorce?  
• Poverty among divorced women.  
• Young marriage has more chances to break-up.  
• Respect is the best way to get marriage satisfaction and avoid divorce.  
• Is interfaith marriage doomed to divorce? 
• Why a successful marriage may end in divorce?  
• Marriage contract will help to facilitate the legal side of divorce process.  
• Reduction of the number of divorces. 
• Personal development after divorce.  
• How family relationships influence future marriage and divorce chances of children. 
•  Child support in case of marriage divorce.  
• Will lack of family and work balance definitely result in divorce?  

If you are stuck on writing, you can always ask us for help! Whether you need a persuasive essay on divorce or any other paper, we are here and ready to assist.

Thanks for reading the article! Share it with friends who may need our tips or assistance.

Further reading:

• Top Ideas for Argumentative or Persuasive Essay Topics
• Best Argumentative Research Paper Topics
• 197 Inspirational & Motivational Argumentative Essay Topics
• Gun Control Essay: How-to Guide + Argumentative Topics
• Proposal Essay Topics and Ideas – Easy and Interesting
• Free Exemplification Essay Examples

🔗 References

• Essay Introductions
• Transitional Words and Phrases
• Argumentative Paper Format
• The Writing Process
• Divorce Argument Essay: Bartleby
• Cause and Effect Essay: The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Roane State Community College and UNC at Chapel Hill Writing Center
• Counterargument: Gordon Harvey, the Writing Center at Harvard University
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152 Brilliant Divorce Essay Topics & Examples

For those who are studying law or social sciences, writing about divorce is a common task. Separation is a complicated issue that can arise from many different situations and lead to adverse outcomes. In this article we gathered an ultimate list of topics about divorce and gathered some tips to when working on the paper.

Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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The Philippines is right to reject divorce

Being Right

By Jemy Gatdula

T he pejorative argument has always been is that the Philippines is the only country in the world (aside from the Vatican) that doesn’t allow for divorce. The reply should be: So what? After all, 165 countries in the world don’t recognize same sex marriages and that fact is not raised against it. The bandwagon fallacy should therefore be recognized for what it is and truth — as a wise man once said — is never decided by majority opinion.

DIVORCE WORSE THAN DEATH There are two signi fi cant arguments made by pro-divorce advocates which are effectively debunked by scienti fi c studies. One is that children are better off with their parents divorcing rather than seeing them constantly arguing. Such is not true. Researchers from Radboud Universiteit Nijmegen, culling data from 17 countries, saw parental divorce having a larger negative impact over even that of parental death (see “Variation in the educational consequences of parental death and divorce: The role of family and country characteristics”; Carlijn Bussemakers, et al.; Demographic Research , March 31, 2022).

Thus, “parental death and divorce may not be equally harmful to all children’s educational attainment. Although both experiences lead to family stress, due to either the loss of a parent or conflict between parents, the reduction of resources may be less profound for children who face parental death (Biblarz and Gottainer 2000). This is because in families where a parent has died, children often receive support from extended family members and friends of the deceased parent, who take over some parenting duties and support children’s educational attainment (Albertini and Dronkers 2009; Sapharas et al. 2016; Steele, Sigle-Rushton, and Kravdal 2009). Children of divorced parents, however, tend to have much less contact with their nonresident parent, as well as that parent’s family and friends over time, providing less opportunity to compensate for the loss in parental resources and support (Steele, Sigle-Rushton, and Kravdal 2009; Westphal, Poortman, and Van der Lippe 2015).”

Furthermore, “the emotional and relational pain caused by divorce can lead to a parenting style that is harsher, less consistent, and less involved, which may negatively affect children’s educational performance.”

BETTER TOGETHER THAN APART The foregoing essentially substantiates previous studies (see foryourmarriage.org , citing Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth, “A Generation at Risk,” Harvard University Press, 1997; also “Ten Findings from a National Study on the Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce,” Elizabeth Marquardt, 2002) putting the lie to the myth that divorce is a positive alternative for children. While children in quite high conflict homes may bene fi t by being removed from that environment (not necessarily through divorce), the situation of children in lower-conflict marriages (of which two-thirds of divorces are of this type) can get much worse following a divorce.

Furthermore, such children experience lasting tension even after their parents’ divorce, particularly because of increasing differences in parental values and ideas. The point: children of even so-called “good divorces” fare worse emotionally than children who grew up in an unhappy but “low-conflict” marriages.

DIVORCE IS NOT A SOLUTION Which leads us to the second argument and that is divorce is a good remedy for unhappy couples. Again not true. A 2002 study (“Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings From a Study of Unhappy Marriages”; Linda J. Waite, Maggie Gallagher, et. al.; Institute for American Values, January 2002) found the following profound insights:

• Unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults that stayed married;

• Divorce did not reduce symptoms of depression for unhappily married adults or raise self-esteem, on average, compared to unhappy spouses who stayed married;

•   Unhappy marriages were less common than unhappy spouses;

• Staying married did not typically trap unhappy spouses in violent relationships. Eighty-six percent of unhappily married adults reported no violence in their relationship (including 77% of unhappy spouses who later divorced or separated); 93% of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce reported no violence in their marriage fi ve years later.

But the most important fi nding is this: Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce or separation ended up happily married five years later. Just one out of five unhappy spouses who divorced or separated had happily remarried in the same time period.

And another equally important finding: The kinds of marital troubles that lead to divorce cannot be sharply distinguished from marital troubles that other spouses overcome. Many marriages that experience serious problems survive and eventually prosper.

CHILDREN ARE BETTER OFF WITH MARRIED PARENTS Such corroborates previous studies showing that “children benefit if parents can stay together and work out their problems rather than get a divorce.” Read this alongside research showing that if couples only stick together, reform themselves, and pull through, they’ll find themselves much happier later on (see “T he Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier and Better Off Financially ,” Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, Crown Publishing, 2001).

Hence, this famous passage: “We know the statistics — that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.” (Barack Obama, Father’s Day speech, 2008).

FORGET DIVORCE, PROTECT MARRIAGE Rather than divorce, the better policy is to look for ways to raise the quality of marriages. Many divorces being contemplated are simply cases of one spouse self-indulgently wanting to “self-actualize” even though the marriage or the family are not undergoing any problem whatsoever. The promotion of virtue and encouragement leading away from self-centeredness is a good step forward.

The other is to discourage pre-marital cohabitation. Stanford’s Michael J. Rosenfeld and Katharina Roesler (“Cohabitation Experience and Cohabitation’s Association With Marital Dissolution,” 2018) reaf fi rms that premarital cohabitation remains a signi fi cant risk factor for divorce: “The results show that in the fi rst year of marriages, couples who cohabited before marriage have a lower marital dissolution rate than couples who did not cohabit before marriage, a difference that may be due to the practical experience of cohabitation, as couples who have cohabited learned to adapt to each other. We find that the association between marital dissolution and premarital cohabitation has not changed over time or across marriage cohorts. The benefits of cohabitation experience in the fi rst year of marriage has misled scholars into thinking that the most recent marriage cohorts will not experience heightened marital dissolution due to premarital cohabitation.”

To protect marriage is utterly crucial because — as data and common experience demonstrated — the stability of a country is very much dependent on it. And it certainly deserves greater thought than merely inanely saying the Philippines is only one of two countries without a divorce law.

Jemy Gatdula is a senior fellow of the Philippine Council for Foreign Relations and a Philippine Judicial Academy law lecturer for constitutional philosophy and jurisprudence

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Divorce Is Prohibited In The Philippines, But Moves Are Underway To Legalize It

Michael Sullivan

Anti-divorce protesters marched in Manila in February. The Philippine House of Representatives passed a bill in March that would legalize divorce. Ted Aljibe/AFP/Getty Images hide caption

Anti-divorce protesters marched in Manila in February. The Philippine House of Representatives passed a bill in March that would legalize divorce.

After 10 years of marriage to a husband she says was a philanderer, and dealing with her suffocating in-laws, Alpa Go, a mom in Metro Manila, threw in the towel. She wanted out, for herself and her two children.

"I just wanted to cut ties with him," she said speaking in Tagalog. "If I ever achieve my goals, I don't want to do it carrying his name. And if I acquire properties in the future, I don't want to have to share with him. What if I'm gone?" she asks — meaning what if she's dead. "Then he would benefit instead of the kids."

What Alpa Go wants — but can't get — is a divorce. The Philippines, where roughly 80 percent of the population is Roman Catholic, is one of only two countries in the world where divorce remains illegal (with exemptions for the roughly 5 percent of the population that's Muslim). The only other country where divorce remains illegal is Vatican City.

With divorce out of the question, Go did the next-best thing. She filed for an annulment. But they're expensive and out of reach for many Filipinos, whose jobs bring them only a few dollars a day.

Go was lucky in the sense that she'd saved enough money to try. She paid the equivalent of $5,000 to file. It didn't work.

"I filed on the grounds of psychological incapacity," she explains, one of the official grounds for annulment. "But [the court] said it wasn't enough."

Later, she says, her friends told her the judge in Metro Manila's Antipolo municipality, where she filed, wasn't a fan of annulments. So Go gave up.

Laywer Clara Padilla, the executive director of EnGendeRights , a Manila-based nonprofit that advocates for women's rights, says Alpa Go's story is far from unusual. She has heard far worse.

"Women, even if they're in an abusive relationship where their husbands would batter them, even if their husbands are drunkards or are alcoholic or engage in extramarital affairs, even if they do drugs — their wives are unable to dissolve the marriages," she says.

But a bill passed in March by the Philippines House of Representatives is giving hope to proponents of divorce. It would allow divorce for a variety of reasons, including irreconcilable differences, abuse, infidelity and abandonment.

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte Has A New Adversary — The Church

To become law, the bill needs to be passed by the Senate and approved by the president. But the House bill, which passed by a vote of 134 to 57, is significant since no divorce legislation has ever made it this far in the Philippines, says sociologist Jayeel Cornelio of Manila's Ateneo University. He calls the bill "unprecedented," but also logical in a country where a recent survey showed more than half of Filipinos are in favor of allowing divorce "for irreconcilably separated couples."

"The influence of the Catholic Church, when it comes to political matters and private moral affairs, is becoming weaker and weaker in the country," Cornelio says. "The resistance of the Catholic Church to the divorce bill is increasingly seen as not in the interests of the public but only the interests of the Catholic Church."

Cornelio says a divorce bill is a sensible, and even "inevitable" next step after the passage of the country's reproductive health law in 2013, which allowed poorer Filipinos in particular access to birth control. Many municipalities have been slow in implementing the reproductive health law, which took more than a decade to pass — evidence of how much power the Church still enjoys.

Still, there is an unusual level of bipartisan support for the divorce bill — a matter of concern for the Catholic Church.

"Yes, it is worrisome for us," says Auxiliary Bishop Broderick Pabillo of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Manila. "According to our Philippine constitution, now we are supposed to be pro-family to protect the family, and strengthen the family, and divorce will not help our people at all."

Pabillo acknowledges that there are cases where women who are emotionally or physically abused by their husbands need to get out. But in those cases, he says, "She can legally be separated from the man, so we also [offer] a way out."

It's not a way that allows them a divorce to start life anew in the eyes of the government or the Church. But Pabillo is firm.

"We cannot make a policy for certain cases when the whole society would suffer in the long run," he insists.

Nonsense, says Padilla. She says the Philippines remains "pretty much behind the rest of the world" — in the "dark ages," even, she says — when it comes to issues like divorce and LGBT rights.

"The Philippines should be a secular state where there should be separation of church and state," Padilla says, "where the Catholic Church should not be able to influence their religious beliefs in the passage of laws."

The Philippine Supreme Court recently ruled that Filipinos married to foreigners can get divorced abroad and be recognized as such at home.

Even though the divorce bill had strong support in the House, in the Senate, resistance is much stronger.

"Unfortunately for those who are proposing it, I don't believe in it," says Senate majority leader Vicente Sotto III . "As far as I'm concerned, it's not a priority," he says, though he admits he's taking heat from his four daughters — all of whom, he says, support the right to divorce and want him to consider the bill.

Sotto's own opposition, he says, won't keep him from allowing a vote in the Senate. "We'll discuss it," he says. "I am not going to stymie the bill because I'm not in favor of divorce, that does not mean I'll not do my job. If a senator comes to me and says, 'please, have it in the agenda because we want it discussed,' after discussing in committee, so be it. We'll do it."

A Senate version of the bill could come up for consideration in the next few months, and both Sotto and Pabillo put the chances of passage at about 50-50. Even if the Senate does pass it, the bill would still need to be approved by President Duterte, whose own marriage was annulled.

Duterte has expressed his opposition to divorce in the past. But he's also been a fierce and foulmouthed critic of the Catholic Church, when it comes to the Church's condemnation of his war on drugs, which human rights groups say has claimed more than 12,000 lives since it began nearly two years ago.

If enough Filipinos make a public show of supporting a divorce bill, the populist Duterte might go along. Giving the people what they want while giving the Church a black eye, some observers suggest, might be a twofer Duterte simply cannot resist.

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Divorce should be an option

The House of Representatives committee on population and family relations approved the absolute divorce bill which allows it to proceed to plenary for debate. This is the closest we have come to finally allow people to have full freedom to decide on the course of their relationships. As a predominantly Catholic nation, this understandably will cause fierce arguments and culturally entrenched righteous indignation. However, as someone who works with families, let me offer some points on this issue.

If you as a couple do not want to consider divorce in your marriage, you don’t have to. Legalizing divorce does not threaten harmonious families. People who are happy and content within their marriages will not suddenly rush to get one just because it is available. If you worry that your spouse will divorce you the moment it becomes legal, then you have much more important things to worry about in your relationship. It can, however, save the lives of many victims of domestic violence (mostly women) and allow people to determine their own lives.

Not allowing divorce as a legal option is like not allowing emergency exits in a building. Imagine there’s a fire but the building owner didn’t put in emergency exits because he “does not believe in it” and that you were expected to keep managing the fire, not escape it. Imagine still a building infested with toxic mold but that you were not permitted to evacuate because others couldn’t fathom why you don’t have the willpower to tough it out. Most people hopefully will not need to use emergency exits in their lifetime. And you’ll be glad it’s there when you need it.

Divorce can also be a protective tool against domestic violence, which is the strongest reason why it should exist. In other countries, they found a significant reduction of spousal conflict and extreme partner violence once divorce was an accessible option. When you know that your spouse has legal rights to leave, you are disabused of the notion of your spouse as property and less likely to mistreat them. Domestic violence also takes up a significant portion of reasons for divorce, around 25-50 percent in other countries. By refusing to provide this option, you are condemning victims of domestic violence to a lifetime of hell. Not having access to options can also turn into desperation—leading some individuals to consider a lethal option.

Even without the threat of domestic violence, we should consider the natural course of intimate relationships. You can only realistically commit to a set of behaviors, not a set of feelings. You cannot genuinely promise to make someone happy. You can, however, promise to not have sex with anyone else (you can still break this promise, of course, but it is more than possible to keep). Feelings, by nature, are temporary. They can be lost and regained. They can strengthen and fade.

Love is both a feeling and an act. Love, as a feeling, can change. I do not know which Hallmark writer decided that love should be forever. The act of loving, however, is within your control and something you can choose to commit to. By accepting the nature of feelings, we must accept the possibility that we might lose the feeling of love for our spouse despite our best intentions. The act that follows this loss—whether it be active efforts to rekindle the lost feeling, redefining the marriage as platonic mutual respect, or acknowledging that the marriage is over—can still be done in a loving way. The best way to shield children from the harmful effects of separation or divorce is for both parents to commit to respecting each other and to still care for each other as co-parents. Ironically, couples who do acknowledge the wax and wane of romantic feeling are much more likely to stay together because they do not take each other for granted and make repeated intentions to stay. They also tend to be more generous and less calculative during separation and genuinely wishing each other happiness.

Divorce is not the killer of happy marriages. It is simply a life raft for people drowning in a marriage that’s already long dead. If you want to ensure the success of a marriage, we should be providing couples with resources and support to help them better adapt and not simply mandate them to stay together. If you love someone, you don’t chain them to you; them choosing to stay is a greater sense of emotional security than locking them in a divorce-less marriage.

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Should Divorce be Legalized in the Philippines?

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Repeated family transitions raise the likelihood of adverse child outcomes, and parental separation and divorce can transform the family structure from a two-parent biological family to a lone parent or stepfamily status. Although divorce is permissible in Islam, it lays great emphasis on its being a concession and measure that must be resorted to only when there is no alternative. The purpose of this qualitative multiple case study is to describe the experiences of Muslim Families in Southern Philippines in Islamic Divorce. In this study, divorce practices were explained in detail to acquire a comprehensive understanding of how the Islamic law of divorce functions. This also describes how the couple arrived at their decision of having divorce. Results revealed that introspection and contemplation, consultation with family members, decision to divorce, Iddah, and processing the divorce were the divorce practices. Determination, avoidance and redirection, settling issues with children, and counting on support mechanisms were the coping mechanisms. Divorce should be avoided, divorce requires careful and thorough deliberation, collateral damage is on the child and there is life after divorce were the insights learned.

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Divorce, due to any reason and in any kind, has the result of collapsing the family in which both parties have peace and causes the disorganization of children. Perhaps, both parties get divorce willingly but they bore grudges and develop the sense of pessimism. Divorce is among the downfalls of life and affects the children by psychological distress and its ominous impacts remain throughout life. Miseries caused by divorce are not repairable in many cases. Divorce makes the boys and girls pessimist to marriage, educates people of the society with complexes, it develops revenge in the society and deliver anxious people to community.

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Hearing Both Sides Of The Debate: Legalizing Divorce In The Philippines

Posted by Joanna L | Aug 25, 2019 | Love & Relationship | 0 |

Divorce has always been a controversial issue in the Philippines — or maybe even the world. Terminating a sacred union is still a crucial and complicated decision for both the church and the state. Moreover, several groups and organizations in the country are on both sides of the debate, slowing down the transition of the Divorce Act of 2019 into law. 

The masses are still not ready to make a decision, so the question looms: should the Philippines legalize divorce? Let’s take a look at what the public has to say.

No To Divorce

Some Filipinos are entirely against divorce because of their religious beliefs, while others cite Filipino values and culture as another reason why a man and a woman shouldn’t terminate their marriage. 

The Catholic Church itself condemns the existence of the Divorce Act of 2019, saying that it’s unconstitutional, anti-family, anti-children, and against Christian faith. More than 77 Catholic organizations have joined together to oppose the bill on divorce, influencing a vast number of Catholics to host multiple rallies.

Surprisingly, President Rodrigo Duterte also expressed his honest disagreement with the Senate on the divorce bill, letting former Presidential Spokesman Harry Roque share his sentiments: “He said the children would be pitiful if there will be divorce…And if there will be divorce, the abandoned spouse will lose the right to file cases against their spouse.”

Other public figures and prominent groups that also voted ‘no’ to divorce are the ALLiance For The Family Foundation Philippines Inc., Senator Joel Villanueva, and the Jesus Is Lord (JIL) Movement (led by Bro. Eddie Villanueva). 

Yes To Divorce

Meanwhile, Filipinos who strongly believe that divorce should be legalized in the Philippines claim that the bill is “pro-women legislation”. They see divorce as the best exit for Filipinos experiencing domestic violence, abandonment, and adultery — since annulment and legal separation aren’t enough to save them from the consequences of a failed union. 

Senator Risa Hontiveros, the former representative of Akbayan in the House of Representatives, is one of the leading figures behind the divorce bill. She’s also known for her contributions in the controversial Reproductive Health (RH) law and SOGIE Equality Bill. Hontiveros is the principal author of the proposed Divorce Act of 2019. And just this year, she refiled a bill that will allow an absolute divorce in the country. 

“It’s time that we give Filipinos the chance to free themselves from abusive, loveless and unhappy relationships, and to help them find love and start all over again,” Hontiveros said in a recent interview. 

Strengthening the divorce bill is a recent survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations (SWS). The survey revealed that “53% of adult Filipinos nationwide support the legalization of divorce for irreconcilably separated couples.” The sample population all came from the country’s three main island groups, SWS confirmed that the “net agreement with the proposition was highest in Metro Manila at very strong +35, followed by moderately strong in Balance Luzon at +23, Mindanao at +15, and Visayas at +14.”

Aside from Hontiveros, other public figures and prominent groups that are also open with the idea of divorce include Senator Grace Poe, the Divorce Advocates of The Philippines (DAP), and Gabriela Women’s Party. 

The Philippines, at the time of writing, is one of the few remaining countries where divorce is still illegal. Married Filipino couples have an option to go through an annulment or legal separation.

The state has yet to decide if the divorce bill would be made into law, so while the Senate and the House of Representatives are at it, make sure to find some private and public lawyers at Rakuboss.com that can help you move forward if you have marital problems that requires legal action.

About The Author

Joanna is a scriptwriter, content writer, and copywriter based in Manila, Philippines. She enjoys reading Young Adult fantasy and historical fiction novels during her spare time.

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Divorce in the Philippines – Say NO to It

by Vince Olaer | Doctrines and Theology , Featured , Morality/Immorality , Pastoral , Primary , Theology | 238 comments

Divorce in the Philippines is planning to take over Filipino values and culture. It’s all over the news, the Philippine Congress is now pushing forward the Divorce Bill right after they have put forward the Reproductive Health Bill. This is exactly what I have been worrying about. Just a couple of weeks ago, when I attended our Baptist Convention Meeting here in the Visayas, this issue was brought up. And just as what I have stated, “RH Bill can also lead to the Divorce Bill” because they have the same proponents.

I know lots of Evangelical Christians are pro-RH Bill. But what they don’t know is that the proponents of RH Bill are also the proponents of Divorce Bill. And now that they almost got what they want, they are now preparing for another wave of controversial bill which will open a highway for immorality and degradation of Philippine culture and religious standards and beliefs.

Here is a list of the known supporters of RH Bill and Divorce Bill

RH-Bill                       Divorce Bill

Liza Maza                    – Liza Maza

Risa Hontiveros         – Risa Hontiveros

Janette Garin               – Janette Garin

Edcel Lagman             – Edcel Lagman

Luzviminda Ilagan    Luzviminda Ilagan

Now if you are pro-RH Bill but Anti Divorce… THINK AGAIN!!!

Why I am Against Divorce in The Philippines

If you fear the Lord and his commands, there is no way that you will agree on divorce. This is not what God wants. As simple as it is. Even if some pastor and theologians quantify it as a “necessary amputation” as far as I remember what my American Theology professor said, I would say that divorce is divorce, and God hates it. It was only men who wants it, not God.

It is not the answer to the growing violence against women and children. Most divorce advocates gives emphasis on the growing children and women abuse. But I really do not see it as a solution for these problems. In fact it extends to the growing problem of immorality and sexually related diseases and problems such as unwanted pregnancies and sexually related diseases. And I believe that you will agree with me that these problems are a threat to women, children and even family. But why? Simply because people were given the so-called choice and chance to change while the fact is, it is where the so-called “rights” is abused. It is where many people make use of the right and abuse it for their own self-centered selfish quest for happiness and will only bring them to the same situation again and again and again. That’s why you will see people divorced not just once, nor twice, but multiple times.

It gives a wider path to domestic problems. As I mentioned earlier this right has proven to be easily abused. And we are not actually giving people a solution to their problems, but a chance to repeat the same mistakes. Divorce is like a medicine… but an unrecommended one.

For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.

It gives a wider path for immorality and marital infidelity. Immorality. I guess this is not so much “in” nowadays. It’s something that most people don’t want to talk about except those that are of the religious sectors and religious people. I hate to say this but the Philippines have a steep moral degradation and that is why most of these divorce proponents put forward a SILLY SOLUTION for various problems .

Did we not learn from the US? Did the stats of violence against women and children dropped by the use of divorce law? We talk much about the positive things that we can get from the divorce law, while the negative effects far out weighs the positive.

Here’s the summary of the advantages of divorce:

• Spouses will have a “second chance” for a happier life.
• Spouses will have a “second chance” for a non-violent life.
• …. “second chance”
• to be happy…
• to be happy….

My goodness… is there any solid advantages of divorce bill than being self-centered and selfish reasons??? What about your family??? What about your children??? That’s what family is for… Divorce is not only anti-Filipino, but is anti-Family and anti-marriages. It simply opens a wide range of disadvantages over the family.

But here’s the list of what they are not talking about:

1. One out of every two marriages ends in divorce.

2. In 1991, only 50.8% of American children were living with a mother and a father. The numbers have worsened since that study.

3. Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father.

4. The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood. By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty.

5. Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent families.

6. Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with children.

7. Children from disrupted marriages experience greater risk of injury, asthma, headaches, and speech defects than children from intact families.

8. Suicide rates for children of divorce are measurably higher than for children from intact families.

Read more about the Side Effects of Divorce and see that there are more side effects than that of a solution.

So What’s The Real Answer?

Fear of God and teach Morality… Morality… and Morality…. If we have the fear of God and we understand what morality means, then we understand the real answer to the growing problems related to violence against women and children.

Divorce is definitely NOT a TRUE medicine nor a solution to the growing domestic problems. I see it just like illegal drugs which may have a little benefit of easing the pain of the patient. But in most cases, it is an addictive medicine that can kill and destroy life and relationships.

And finally, let me state this as Filipino as possible:

HWAG PO TAYO MAGING “GAYA-GAYA SA IBANG BANSA”. Nag-approve lang ang Malta na magkaroon sila ng divorce, tayo gusto na rin natin. Wala na bang maisip na batas ang mga Congressman and Congresswomen natin kundi mga gaya-gaya na batas?

It is NOT TRUE that you will be happy with second chance. It is NOT TRUE that you will gain your happiness back when your marriage fail and divorce is the solution. The only solution for marital problems is to adhere what the word of God says…. “Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wife as you love yourselves…” (Ephesians 5:22-33). This is where you gain happiness and fullness of marital life and your family.

Want Deeper Advise on Marital Problems and Biblical Teachings About Marriage? You can read:

Biblical Teachings About Marriage and Divorce

How to Resolve Marital Problems

If you are pro-divorce … then you are anti-family , at least to Biblical standards.

Be a Pro-family…. Be an Anti-divorce!!!

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• 3 Proven Biblical Tips That Improves Bible Reading

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I honestly hate it when other people assert the definition of a democratic country, and that we are living in a democratic country, therefore a democratic country sees divorce as a human right… Seriously, the right to deny a marriage in a quick and easy way? The right to leave your spouse (and who knows, your kids) to find a seemingly ‘better’ partner that could better satisfy your sexual desires? The right to escape the vows you’ve vowed and the responsibilities you have just to make your lives better? And now, someone might contest their beliefs… Oh yes, I am aware of all the cases VAWCs in our country, and I am against all of it. But are you aware of all the adultery cases present here in our country? Have you met persons who belong to broken families? Those with single mothers, single fathers who were annulled or legally separated? Only if you have the chance to mingle with them… You (divorce advocates) don’t know how hard it is for them to live in an incomplete family! How they express their honest jealousy over kids who have happily married parents, like me!

“Oh, what about the victims of domestic violence?” “How are we going to separate victims from their abusive partners?” And tons of similar questions will follow.

Well, here I ask you, how about you? What do you think would happen to our country if we legalize divorce? Will it make our country more progressive? Will it produce happier and internationally competent Filipinos? Does it strengthen and improve the mentality of a Filipino child whose parents are divorced?

Plus, not all escapes are the key to freedom. Some escapes may lead you to a deeper graveyard, including this.

Not all medicines are effective or helpful, sad to say, some are even abused. I see that others think divorce is the medicine to a failed marriage… It might be, but just like cannabis, though proposed with health benefits, can be abused if legalized.

With divorce, imagine how many broken families will add if it is already a law?

And you, who despise such articles like this with religious references and cultural beliefs, what is your religion? Do you love God? Oh yes, you do. But have you read His scriptures very well?

I’ll leave you there to answer that, have a good day! (Call this comment biased, it’s fine, we live in a democratic country, right?)

Thank you so much for this comment. I love your post very much.

Thanks for sharing.

You have your point but it seems kinda biased and based mostly on religious beliefs. It seems kinda one-sided especially when you’re generalizing when you said divorce is an act on one’s selfishness which is not solely true unless you present a factual data that says so.

Your statement gives the impression that people are not allowed to grow and make themselves be a better person. Yes, one should be responsible but mistakes are inevitable too. Not all problems residing marriage comes from the husband and wife. There are a lot of circumstances that can come along.

Hi Aly! Thanks for the opinion. Well, this is a religious blog so it definitely has it’s own bias especially when it comes to faith and moral vs legal issues. However, this article does not intend to prohibit people to grow. This is to prevent big time mistake, mistake that can take a lifetime to repair. It is to educate those who are not yet there and to avoid facing the same mistake. You are right that mistake is inevitable, but this particular mistake is “avoidable”. With proper moral understanding on how marriage works, how to look for your lifetime partner, how to nurture relationship, etc, learning these things can definitely put someone in a bigger advantage for a successful lifetime relationship.

Civil Divorce is a right for those whose marriages have failed.

Our generation should be made aware that marriage is for life- for keeps- and not something to be entered into and then gotten out of whenever one feels like it. But when adultery has taken place, a DIVORCE can be obtained, because adultery has already severed the marriage relationship and divorce is a formal acknowledgement of what has already taken place.

WHAT IS DIVORCE ? A DIVORCE, or legal dissolution of a marriage, is the ending of a valid marriage between a man and a woman returning both parties to single status with the ability to remarry. The basic rule is that divorce and remarriage are not permitted, except for adultery or desertion, and that is the rule the church should stick to.

PERSONAL MORALITY – PUBLIC MORALITY We are not imposing a new private morality. Private morality could be maintained independently of the change civil law, because personal morality and public morality, while they are related, is not one and the same thing. We are not undermining religious teaching or the family values.

PERSONAL CONSCIENCE Just as we are willing to accept the autonomy of personal conscience and to respect the wishes of the Anti-Divorce Camp, we are asking the Filipino people to adopt the same attitude to our Divorce Pilipinas Coalition STAKEHOLDERS whose personal conscience allows us to avail of Divorce. Allowing Divorce to be publicly available, we are suggesting, we would enable those of us who wish to avail of it to do so and would still allow those people who object to Divorce to maintain their personal commitment to lifelong marriage.

MORAL STANDARDS & BELIEFS We are here not for a battle to fight for your moral standards and beliefs. We are here to solve the puzzle conflict between Husbands & Wives, between the Abused & the Abuser, between the Innocent & the Accuser and the Believer & the Unbeliever. If you are not in favor of Divorce then do not file for a divorce. Thank God, you have a peaceful married life!

ROOT CAUSE OF FAMILY BREAKDOWN We believe that we are to truly help the Filipino Family; the energies of the Anti-divorce camp a better directed towards addressing the root cause of family breakdown, rather than illogical campaigning against divorce legislation.

DIVORCE IS A CIVIL RIGHT. In a democratic republic – Civil Divorce is a right for those whose marriages have failed. It is time to FREE us from the concept that everyone must hold to one cultural or religious pattern. Will it be Philippines of tolerance and generosity, ready to accommodate the differing views and traditions on people of all religions and none?…

Is there not an obligation on all of us in the Philippines to be seen to be scrupulous in according…respect and recognition of the rights of the minority in this jurisdiction? Therefore, we believe that it is undemocratic and intolerant to DENY us Filipino-Christians that RIGHT TO DIVORCE and allow the Filipino-Muslims that right under their Sharia Law!

CIVIL LAW RATHER THAN RELIGION We are still Christians We believe the issue should be decided on the basis of CIVIL LAW, rather than RELIGION. But even then we also believe that these signals a real democracy to do its thing, without the intervention from the Catholic Church.

IN CONCLUSION 1. We believe that it is clear that we need a divorce law. We do not need to pretend that after couple of year there was no marriage that happened. Divorce acknowledges that there was a marriage that took place but for whatever reason, that marriage is no longer tenable and the couple needs to separate.

2. We believe that allowing divorce will also make for a humane and amicable separation among couples.

3. We believe that if people are not in favor of DIVORCE then they do not file for divorce.

4. We believe that we have a republic and that we are living in a republic. All of us stand under a democratic republic and is fair & equal to all- majority & minority. PRAYER

We pray that on this 17th Congress:

• we must have the duty and grave responsibility of translating the people’s mandate into legislation. • we will ensure that the RIGHTS OF MINORITIES are upheld. • If Muslims & Foreign married Filipinos have the Right to Divorce then, we Filipino Christians and Filipinos married to Filipinos should also be allowed the right to Divorce.

If this DIVORCE BILL fails, we believe that our Philippines Constitutional democracy will become the clubhouse of moral majority where the prejudices of the day labeled constitutional laws.

Note: PLEASE STOP JUDGING US and start listening to our stories, feel us, empathize with us and help us… That is the true meaning of Christianity…Remember, our God isn’t a Catholic God; He is a God to all who believe in him. He is also a God of second chances. He is a God who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask for or imagine- whether we have a spouse by our side or not.

Prepared by: ccjueco

Very well said. Thanks for standing up on this issue that millions of Filipinos needed ASAP.

it good to know that someone has able to spread the truth based on the fact that they had and pastor vince is the greatest person God used to enlightens the minds of those people who cannot understand to the situation.It is true for the freedom in abuse about women but let keep in mind our child because without their parent who will guide them they will go to the wrong track Good day and godbless the world hoping to see pastor vince!!

Everything you said is WRONG. Read the Bible and why God permitted Divorce and not Annulment.

Matthew 5:31-32 New International Version (NIV) Divorce 31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[a] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Hebrews 13:4 New International Version (NIV) 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

so you’re saying that our God is wrong? i respect but in order us to have a Good relationship we must have a God in our life. just my opinion.

I really love how accurate and how informative your article pastor. im so bless the way you stand for what is right…. I like also the way you reply to the pro divorce rude comment. you are so professional even though they are rude and they attack you personally. i see how awesome the lord giving you the right wisdom regarding with this matter. thank you for sharing this wisdom and knowledge that God given to you. i know that the Lord is so happy that you share his words to other people and i believed manny pro divorce will be enlighten once they read your article. May the Lord Bless you and your family exceedingly.

You are very welcome Raven! Thanks for reading the article. 🙂 May the Lord bless you in every way and may your family be a good example of a Christian faith. 🙂

Wala naman magbebenefit sa DIVORCE other than the “Kabits” na walang moralidad na itinuro ang magulang at respeto sa kasal na pinagbuklod ng Diyos..aminin na natin yan..

Lets face it guys! if DIVORCE will not have the “Allowed to remarry” thing, walang maeexcite dyan..come on lets get real! You can’t fix violence against women and children which is CHRONIC with something LAME as DIVORCE…

I am against DIVORCE..its a waste of time..that bill belongs to the TRASH BIN..

Lets make this simple..okay approve DIVORCE..but…take out the “ALLOWED TO REMARRY” thingy, I don’t think you Pro-Divorce supporters will have much of the excitement would you??

Yes, I will be the one excited. Why? Hindi po lahat ng nghahangad ng Divorce Law na yan ay pra mkpg asawang muli. Marami pong dahilan ang mga tao at isa nko dun. Ang gusto ko lang ay mawala na ang apelyido ng asawa ko sa lahat ng documents ko dahil hindi ko magawang bumili ng properties or ang mg ampon since wala kaming anak at ayoko isunod sa apelyido ng asawa ko ang lahat ng yan na gusto ko sanang gawin. Now, tell me, how will I not be excited for that? Ang hirap kasi sa inyo hindi nyo inaalam lahat ng reasons namin, dahil sarado ang mga isip nyo. Napakarami ng mg asawang ngkahiwalay at may kanya kanya ng pamilya na mas lumigaya kesa sa una pero nkatali prin sa kasal nila. All we need is you guys to understand and listen the stories of each of everyone who needs it. Wag masyadong close minded. Look around and see for yourself how many adulteries, bigamy, infidelities in the Philippines, at this moment? At kung ang sinasabi nyo mapapariwara ang mga bata, well for God’s sake din po, mawalang galang na, sa buong mundo sana lahat ng anak ng mga Divorce marriage sa ibang bansa eh pariwara? At may annullement din nmn tayo dito, marami naring na grant, meaning pariwara lahat ng mga anak nila? At hindi nga po lahat ng mg asawang nghiwalay ay may anak. Mind you people of the Philippines, PLEASE OPEN YOUR MIND.

“It is not the answer to the growing violence against women and children. Most divorce advocates gives emphasis on the growing children and women abuse. But I really do not see it as a solution for these problems. In fact it extends to the growing problem of immorality and sexually related diseases and problems such as unwanted pregnancies and sexually related diseases. And I believe that you will agree with me that these problems are a threat to women, children and even family.” – See more at: http://thedisciplers.com/divorce-in-the-philippines-say-no-to-it/#sthash.hcWSN7c6.dpuf

You are all over the place. If you are going to argue against a human right that’s long overdue in the Philippines, at least have the decency to have all the bases covered. There is a good reason why divorce is considered as a human right in many countries, including those which the Philippine government tries to emulate. You are a sad example of what this country is becoming. Instead of preaching rickety assumptions like its gospel, try for once get out of your cave and experience the world the way it is.

“both of you have a point” peru alam niyo ba kung anu ang dapat problemahan sa ngayon yon yung mga nasa politics na manluluko….!!!!!

A bunch of bullshit put together. that’s what I call this post.

In a real world’s democracy, you can’t favor one religion over another. That’s why we have State-Church separation, which is just a big fat lie in this country.

I don’t care if you are Christian. Even if I was one, I wouldn’t try to force my beliefs on people who might not believe on the same thing I do.

The people of other religions, and those who don’t believe in a deity, are not supposed to abide to a set of rules mandated by a deity they don’t believe on. This, together to the lack of support for marriage equality, is what is making people challenge their beliefs more and realize there’s no evidence that there is god (which god? Thor? Shiva? Zeus? Flying Spaghetti Monster?), leaving the catholic church and throwing away religion altogether.

The state is secular. And so it should be if the goal is to defend all its people

Hi, i respect your opinion and all, i know you speak base on your religious belief but honestly, your points are so biased towards women and our rights. Recovery??? how do you suppose to stop a man from beating on his wife and children??? are women suppose to just bear the suffering of being married to an abusive husband? aren’t law suppose to exist to protect those who need it? marriage is a wonderful thing. but in real life, it does not work for all, as people make mistake – as in judging characters because. more importantly, a law does not destroys a family, only the family members can. thus, it is only logical and MORAL to provide a legal remedy to the moral corruption in society. i hope we could stop from using religious faith from twisting the real necessities of society.

@liberty eviola. First, if you have read my answers to the previous comments, you will see that I am not against filing a case against abusive husbands. You yourself said that the law exists to protect people. However, I would say, not all laws are beneficial as you think. Some laws may be good to see, but underneath when you start digging to the real problems, you will see that it’s not really solving the problem. And this is what I am seeing on divorce. Divorce law will “NOT” solve abuses. In fact, we already have laws dealing with abuses, infidelity, rape, etc. The problem actually lies on the cultural part of the involved parties and our “legal system” itself. Walang nagdedemanda at kung meron man, medyo mahal.

Anti divorce does not mean pro-abuse. We hate abuses. We don’t want anybody to be abused, nor we don’t want to increase the incident of abuses, and more specifically we do not want people who are not abusers become abusers of the law. I don’t know if you are getting the point, but we simply do not believe divorce will help solve the real problem of abuses, what we see is that it will only enhance it and the tendency will be more people will even abuse the law of divorce itself.

Secondly, sorry to tell you that I cannot stop using faith in exposing this truth because this is a religious blog. But I want to straighten this up, I am “NOT” twisting the real necessities of society, I am actually helping you to think better and dig deeper to see the “REAL NECESSITIES” of society. I hope you too will start digging deeper. Blessings! 🙂

Excuse me lang po pastor ha. Pasalamat po kayo kung may asawa man kayo at masayang nagsasama tulad nga ng paniniwala nyo na binuklod kayo ng Diyos. Eh pano naman kami ng binuklod ng mayor or judge? Kami na niloko ng mga asawa na walang kaalam alam na may kinakasama na pala ung mga asawa namin at may anak na. Ngayon sabihin nyo kung may chance pa bang magkabalikan kung alam mong wala ng chance. Pano kami makakamove on at may magkaka “second chance”? Tulad ako nagkaron ako ng partner na kayang ibigay ung maganda at masayang buhay para s aming mag ina pero nde kami makakilos dahil nga kasal kami ng asawa ko. Ngayon sabihin mo, may chance pa ba kaming magkabalikan ng aswa ko? Sa sobrang mahal ng annulment dito sa pinas, divorce lang ang paraan par makalaya kami sa failed marriages namin. Madali sa inyong sabihin na pinagbuklod kami ng Diyos? Wag nyo pong gamitin ang Diyos sa issue ng divorce dahil nde lahat sa simbahan kinasal. Madali s inyong sabihin na wag iapprove ang divorce dahil wala kyo s sitwasyon namin.

First and foremost, I want to give my sympathy to your failed marriage, wala ho akong karapatang mag judge sa situation nyo at kayo po ang higit na mas nakakaalam kung may pag asa pa ang first marriage ninyo o wala. However, in the matter of “divorce” as a law, it is a moral issue and not just a law. Hindi ko ginagamit ang Diyos. At wala akong karapatan gamitin ang Diyos. Ang pede ko lang gawin ay sundin ang sinasabi ng Diyos patungkol sa pagaasawa. And because this is also a matter of moral issue, ang mga katulad ko po ay may karapatang magsalita patungkol sa tamang moralidad lalo na po at itoy itinuturo sa Banal na Kasulatan.

Kasal ka man sa simbahan o sa huwes o sa mayor, as long as it is legal, it is basically the same, it is marriage. Hindi po magkaibang marriage contract ang ginagamit sa simbahan, sa huwes, at sa mayor etc. Pareho lang po yun. Hindi po nangangahulugan na ang kasal sa simbahan ay higit kesa sa kasal sa huwes. Ang kaibahan po lang nun ay yung nag kasal at ang pag bibigay emphasis at payo at pagkakaroon ng premarital counselling in which often times, ginagawa po iyon sa simbahan. But then again, all marriages are the same.

Kung binasa nyo lang din po ng mabuti ang nakasaad sa artikulong sinulat ko, makikita nyo rin po na hindi lang ito patungkol sa paniniwala. Meron din po itong sources at stat na ang layunin ay malaman kung nakakatulong nga ba sa bansa ang diborsyo o hindi. Unfortunately, hindi po.

Ngayon patungkol po sa sinasabi ninyong “Pano kami makaka moveon at may makaka second chance”, ang tanong ko lang po sa inyo, ang pagaasawa lang po bang muli ang magiging kaligayahan ninyo? Yun lang po ba ang tanging paraan para maka move on? Yun lang po ba ang solusyon upang mabuo muli ang isang broken heart? Kayo lang po ang makakasagot nyan. Mainam po na maitanong nyo rin po yan sa sarili natin upang mas maliwanagan po tayo sa susuonging bagong relasyon.

Ngayon po kung ang habol nyo lang po ay pagmamadali at maging madali ang mag asawang muli upang maging ganap ang inyong relasyon, I assure you po na hindi po yan ang tamang sukatan upang makamtan natin ang tunay na kaligayahan. At maaari din po na yan din ang nauna nating pagkakamali sa unang relasyon.

Nawa poy patnubayan tayo ng Panginoon sa ating pag didisesyon. God bless po!

I cant wait the divorce bill in the philippines ..pls sooon as possible

I have only with me these points that should be considered by our country.

“Prevention is better than cure” I hope we are all familiar with that.

After having failed marriage, do you think divorce is a solution? No. The only thing it will provide is the dissolution of your marriage. And after that what? Marry another man/woman, have another failure marriage and resort to divorce over and over again. But first, let me know, why YOU COMMIT MARRIAGE? Why did you do so when in fact, you do not know every side of your partner? Is it just only because YOU WERE IN LOVE? YOU WERE PREGNANT FIRST? OR WHAT ELSE? Considering that, your relationship has already been broken, does divorce guarantee that if you will let go of each other by dissolving your marriage, you’ll find PERFECT PERSON that will suit you in life? Of course not. There are those who choose to be single and live the life because they already knew what the consequences are. They may had a marriage failure back then but they also knew that another marriage cannot solve it. You may resort to having another companion but not another marriage.

What am I trying to say here is, WHY PASS A BILL THAT CAN ONLY PROVIDE ANOTHER CHANCE TO BREAK MARRIAGE?

WHY NOT PASS A BILL THAT WILL PROVIDE GUIDE AND TIME FOR PARTNERS’ PREPAREDNESS BEFORE COMMITTING MARRIAGE?

WHY NOT PREVENT THINGS FROM HAPPENING RATHER THAN PRESENT A BOGUS CURE!

WHO NOW HERE POSSESSES OPEN AND CLOSE MIND? WHO NOW HERE THINKS ABOUT THE WELFARE OF ONES COUNTRY? WHO NOW HERE WANTS TO BE HAPPY WITH HIS/HER WHOLE LIFE WHEN IN FACT IT REALLY CANNOT BE? THAT IN ORDER TO FEEL HAPPINESS, YOU MUST KNOW WHAT IS PAIN!

Let’s not make things very much comlicated! DO NOT BE TOO GULLIBLE! Can’t you see how you’re being easily deceived because they knew you are emotionally challenged? WHY NOT THINK A MILLION TIMES BEFORE GIVING YOUR ALL? BEFORE SAYING, “YES, I DO!”

It’s evident that the proponents of RH and Divorce are the same. C’mon, there are so many things that should take into consideration more than divorce! I hope by this you are awakened. You know who to vote in the coming election.

Above all, ito lang yung dapat nating tandaan ee na palaging pinaaalala satin ng ating mga magulang!

“ANG PAGPAPAKASAL AY HINDI PARANG KANIN NA BAGONG HAIN, NA KAPAG SINUBO MO AT NAPASO KA, BASTA-BASTA MO NA LANG ILULUWA.”

GOD BLESS WORLD

Well said Mark Jason.

Sir what is the difference between annulment and divorce?

Arlc, Annulment is pronouncing that the marriage is null and void, as if there is no marriage that really exist at the beginning. Divorce on the other hand is the dissolution of marriage. Meaning, there is a marital union, and now you are dissolving it.

In application, they are almost the same. But in effect, they are totally different.

Annulment is also more expensive than divorce. Not only that, Annulment is harder to prove, while divorce is really really easy to do as if you are just applying for a license.

Matthew 19:9 “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matthew 5:32 “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Divorce is allowed according to the Bible as written in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the a thing in Scripture that gives God’s permission for divorce. This “EXCEPTION CLAUSE” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness”. According to this view, immorality during a marriage would then be a valid reason for a divorce.

Moreover, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of SEXUAL IMMORALITY. It can mean FORNICATION, PROSTITUTION, ADULTERY, and etc. Jesus is saying that DIVORCE IS PERMISSIBLE if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations are an integral part of the marital bond: “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, ANY BREAKING OF THAT BOND BY SEXUAL RELATIONS OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS PERMISSIBLE FOR DIVORCE. If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry. Although it is not stated in the text, the allowance for remarriage after a divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality. There may be instances where the “guilty party” is allowed to remarry, but it is not taught in this text.

I BELIEVE I HAVE A GOOD ARGUMENT IN HERE SO PLEASE REPLY TO MY COMMENT AND DO NOT DELETE THIS. :)) God bless. 🙂

Hi Mara Joyce!!! Yes, you do have a good point… however, you missed a few things by only considering the “exemptions” without seeing the bigger picture. Please read verse 2-6 of Matthew 19. Some points to consider:

v. 4. God created male and female. No other gender by the way. v. 5. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife. That means to be together as one family. v. 5-6. The two will become one flesh, not two separate individuals but as one. v. 6. Therefore (which is very conclusive), what God has joined together, let man not separate.

And then your argument comes in because just like the Pharisee, he is probably looking for exemption. In that case, he quoted Moses. But notice how Jesus introduced your exemption.

v. 8. “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning .”

Reading this and also highlighting these things will give us the right answers to these questions: 1. Does Jesus agree on divorce? The answer is NO. He does not. 2. Did the Scriptures permitted divorce? Yes it did. Since the Old Testament times. 3. Is it God’s will to have divorce? NO it is absolutely NOT. It was permitted, but it is NOT what God wants. 4. So why is there divorce? Because the hearts of the people are hard.

Now let me ask you a question? Are you one of those people whose hearts are hard? Or you want to follow God’s ultimate plan for marriage?

Again, thank you very much for a very nice presentation. 🙂 God bless your heart and may you find wisdom. 🙂

Thank you, too, Pastor Vince. That was a great answer. Actually, tomorrow will be our debate about this topic and reading your blog’s thread is a big help for tomorrow’s big day. He-he. 😀

To answer the question you left me, My heart is not hard and I believe I am not just a believer, but also a fateful servant of God. 🙂 Moreover, my ambition in life, I’m glad to share, as what I have written in my Elementary Yearbook, is not to become a successful professional but rather TO HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY. <3

But I also would like to ask you, how about those IRRETRIEVABLE marriages? Those couples na Love na mismo ang nang-iwan at napalitan na ng hatred at kasamaan ang puso ng isa sa kanila… For example, there is this battered wife. The wife can't just FORCE herself to "submit to his husband", or tell him "love me as you would love yourself". (Phrases with quotation marks are words of God). And let's say, the husband is some kind of an atheist or he has lost his fate in God, would you just let the wife suffer from the situation because she had a mistake choosing the wrong man to marry? I think that's unfair (though I know every thing seems to be unfair in life. I am right, right? Ha-ha 😀 ) .

Yes, I know God hates Divorce. And, yes, there are people whose hearts are hard. It's a fact, but unfortunately, a sad reality… But hey! Don't you think they deserve the Divorce? It may not be an assurance that it can soften their hearts, but look at the other side of the coin — IT MAY! 🙂 — don't you think? :))

PEACE&LOVE :))

@Mara, Hi there again!

To answer your follow up questions:

1. I never recommended that the woman stick with his violent husband. So what now if there is no divorce? Our law has provisions on violence against women and children. The woman can always file a case against an abusive husband and put him to jail. In most cases, that’s the way to teach him a lesson, not divorce. Divorce will never stop him from hurting women. Putting him to prison will.

2. For irretrievable marriages, I also did not say an “absoluteness” of separation. Our laws already provide “Annulment”. In fact some people even say that they are just the same. In a sense yes. But I strongly believe that divorce is way too easy to get where people can really abuse its provision. At least for annulment, filing a case is quite expensive thus, one will really think of pursuing to that.

Another option is legal separation. But most people doesn’t like it simply because you cannot remarry.

Here’s the fact, many (not all) people suffer from failed marriages due to lack of moral standards in choosing one’s partner in life. Irretrievable marriages can actually be avoided “if only” we had been careful in choosing our partner. Why would we need divorce or annulment if our family is good? Just come to think of it.

Would I let one suffer just because she made a mistake? I would answer this yes or no. The Bible is very clear that when there is sin, there are “consequences”. For that, it is normal for people to suffer from sinful actions and that’s for all. Rule of thumb yan.

No, because all sins can be forgiven (except for blasphemy of the Holy Spirit). If we only come to the Lord and confess it and “do” his will, then we can be free. Is divorce the answer? No it is not. Again, our law already gave provisions for that. We don’t need divorce any more.

Divorce will probably lessen the burden of those qualified people to have it, but it will be a huge open gate for abuse and more immorality. 🙂

Hoping that I answered you well. 🙂 God bless!!!

And yes, divorce may not be a solution to abused women. But it sure as hell helpful. I don’t see The Church providing SOLUTIONS.

And one more thing, it really makes me wonder how the Catholic Church, despite divorce being legal in the very home of the Vatican, is so against divorce in our country. Gusto niyo ata maging HIPSTER ANG PILIPINAS eh (not conforming to norms)

Anyway, this site really pissed me off. The author is obviously hateful (notice the exclamation points and the question marks. It’s as if he’s telling us that he is absolutely right and we’re utterly wrong)

If you’re a disciple of God, learn to understand your fellow humans first ’cause I really am trying to understand where you’re coming from. Unfortunately, you just pissed me off more rather than INFORM us.

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS

@Blah… Sorry to tell you whoever you are. This is definitely not a hateful site. In fact, people like you who cannot accept God’s word and keeps on attacking me as the author of this makes this site looks hateful. Open your eyes. This article was published for people who wants to stand for NO Divorce. I suggest you go and visit other site who are pro divorce.

And if you are pissed of, well, that’s really your problem. As you see there are people who are pro divorce who simply commented their own opinion. That is how you should express your opinion.

There’s only one thing that I see here why you are pissed off, because you are pro divorce and you hate opinions of people who are anti divorce. And indeed, I am a disciple of God. That’s why I wrote this article not to intentionally displease you, but to let the people know why should we say no to it.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

1. One out of every two marriages ends in divorce. 2. In 1991, only 50.8% of American children were living with a mother and a father. The numbers have worsened since that study. 3. Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father. 4. The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood. By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty. 5. Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent families. 6. Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with children. 7. Children from disrupted marriages experience greater risk of injury, asthma, headaches, and speech defects than children from intact families. 8. Suicide rates for children of divorce are measurably higher than for children from intact families.

You gave everyone examples from AMERICA. You didn’t give us the possibilities of what would happen if divorce would be legalized here in the Philippines. And please, cite your sources for your examples. I’m scared that your not credible enough to say those things. For all I know, baka naka-post lang yan sa Wikipedia.

@Blah, hmmm.. I am not really sure if you have read the article. I think, I stated there the most possible outcome. And if you read the articles and follow the thread, you should see my sources.

You are scared that I am not credible enough? Then why don’t you conduct your own research???

I can really conclude that you just scan the article without completely understanding it. Go and read it again. If you are not satisfied, go ahead and conduct your own research. And may I suggest that you make a blog where you can post your opinion about it? And send me the link.

I just want to add my opinion on this article and this is basically my opinion. This article does not speak for the many people who are suffering from neglect due to men or women who cheat, control and abuse their spouses. Where does it say in the 10 Commandments that the husband is free to commit “Adultery”(7th Commandment) and ignore the 10th Commandment to refrain from inward desires of the another person that is not his? And to keep his spouse from having the freedom to live morally, ethically and committed to the right person?

Poverty is high when countries become known for their prostitution because women are oppressed and have no other source of direction but by the man’s desires.

What this article is stating is that “men should be free to do what they want and can ignore any religious beliefs unless it has anything to do with a woman’s freedom”? Sounds like a double-standard to keep men in control of their wants and needs and has nothing to do with the country economically, morally and religiously. You can just review the 7 and 10th Commandments to know that the rules have been broken which led to this suffering in the first place. It must be rectified requiring a modification of the judicial system to loosen the shackles of this oppressed women.

This article compares the poverty rate of single/divorced parents to that of the Philippines when the Philippines poverty rate is so much higher. How do you teach a cheating, lying, gambling, laziness or any one two or three of those combinations the moral value of being a good husband or wife? Much less teaching his or her kids how to be a good spouse when they are already setting the bad example? Moral retraining? At what cost? And how would that be implemented when just about everyone is involved with self gratification? Filipino people are the most generous, selfless and hospitable people in the world until they have to deal with their own people. This is where the breakdown in beaurocracy begins to weigh in. If you allow freedom for all to follow their dreams as individuals to commit to better relationships…the end results become a bettery way of living…morally, ethically and financially…

Excuse me…the poverty rate comparing Philippines to the US is not valid.

i can’t agree here… Alam naman nating maraming naaaping mga babae kesa sa lalake at lalong lumalaki ang iba’t ibang kaso dito tungkol sa pambubugbog,pangrereyp,pagpapatay at pati mga anak dinadamay..listen here, hindi mo alm ang situation ng mag-asawa…i do understand that marriage is for lifetime…but kung ang asawa mo ay may-iba at sunod ng sunog ka parin sa asawa mo, masasaktan ka lng, magtitiis ka lng hanggang sa buhay mo na ang pinupunterya ng asawa mo…ayaw mong makitang may ibang anak ang asawa mo,no?…bakit nating pagpipilitan ang pagiging perpekto kung wala nmn tlgang perpekto sa mundo, tao lang po tau…bnigyan tau ng isip ng diyos na gawin ang tama, ayaw ng diyos na MAGDUSA TAU….at ayaw ko ding maging martyr sa asawang hindi na ako kailangan…..ayaw kong magmakaawa at lumuhod sa asawa para lang mahalin ako,para sa mga anak…kung ang mag-asawa ay hindi magkakaintindihan masisira parin ang pamilya at wala parin yung pagkakaiba sa paghihiwalayan ng mag-asawa..sa huli maaapektohan parin ang mga anak..

Ang tao na minamahal mo na sobrang bait, maalagain atbp ay biglang nagbago..nagsawa at iniwan ka…….tayong mga tao ay sanay na sa mga pangyayare kung kaya’t nagagawa na nating itago ang sarili natin sa iba. sabi ni god magpakarami tau…but we should know that we are no more living in the past, god said those dahil kunte plng ang tao sa mundo noon..pero ngayonwe need some changes around here..we should take care of ourselves for the good of the people of the society..

i want a divorce .. i dont want to be in a relationship where ur wife has an immoral act/infedelity and left us both with my son..

This is why religion and state should be separate. What may seem right to you may be wrong to me and vise versa.

You are saying “no” to divorce simply because your god implies it.But God also gave you free will and that’s why you have the right to fight for your belief, I hope none of your family members are battered wives. cause you were like. ” send your dad to jail cause he beats up you mom, but your mom cant be happy and marry someone else and start a new life cause god says no to divorce.

From what I understand God teaches love. if love fails, are you not suppose to love again? we are human and we make mistakes, even in marriage. what god had joined can not be separated by man. but funny thing is… it is a priest who marries people and not god himself. would he show up and tell the priest “stop! I am not allowing this cause I know they aren’t right for each other” A priest acts in the person of Christ is what you would most likely say, then I would say Christ was also there when some priests do unholy things. lol priests and altar boys, priests and young women. oh yes. reality.

i was searching for an additional knowledge about my thesis when i saw this blog….actually my thesis states that: “Divorced should not be pursued in the Philippines” ….as i read those comments my knowledge about this issue became wider…though we have different opinions i am glad that everyone of us want to be part of this issue…lumalabas lamang na we care for the betterment of marriage and families…but there is something lacking on it…anu ba talaga ang magandang patutunguhan nito?if the divorced bill was approve there would be peace in both parties (wife n husband) how about their children??it would stop immorality??para kasing binibigyan lang natin ng pagkakataon na abusuhin ang marriage…for what pa ang sumpa.an sa harap ng altar?? marriage is a sacred commitment between the partners and god for all i know…hindi ba pwede na manatilitayo sa dati nating culture n tradition??why don’t we preserve it?

A Divorce Law will destroy the Filipino Family. alalahanin po natin na ang Filipino family is the foundation ng ating bansa.. wag po nating sirain ito.. Matakot po tayo sa DIOS. No to Divorce law!

I am happily married with three kids and would not want divorce to put a gap in my marriage but, I was not raised to think lowly and selfish thinking only of myself. Yes, I am happy and a content woman with a husband who loves and support me and my children but, I feel for those who suffer in their marriages. I am pro divorce though, I don’t need one. We all know that every nation in the world honors Divorce. I mean, if you try to look at it… On the moral side of the argument. How far are we morally differeng from other nations who has divorce laws?! Isn’t it that we are flocked by foreigners for our filipino prostitutes, isn’t it that other nations are always ahead of us in terms of morality, economic and financial aspect?! So, how dare we happily married people choose off the right from other unhappy filipinos entrapped in marriages- I’m sure they all tried to work out for but, just can’t?! If morality is the issue here, explain the morals of all our philandering politicians, explain the morals of those businessmen who would come home to their families after spending time with their mistresses! Who are we to judge on how to make something broken work out?! Who are we to force to others about what will and will not work for them? Who are we to generalize the formation of our youth’s morality? Divorce cannot or will not destroy families… The members of the family most especially the married couples are the only ones who have the power to destroy their families. If we are after the maintainance of morality in our country then, everything should start from us by heart. Can you just sit back and feed your righteous ego and assume about what’s best for everyone?! My mother raised me well and I am also trying my best to raise my children the same way she did- and Among the many things my mother taught me I always tell them the one thing I know is applicable to their daily living- Don’t judge other people. Don’t assume you know best for others. Why?! Because you don’t know anything about what they are going through.

@Rain, first and foremost, no one is judging other people here. The article is a presentation of why say “No” to divorce. It’s intentions is to bring to light, why NO to divorce and not NO to people. I think there’s a huge difference there.

Most people who disagree with the “NO to Divorce” in this article usually attacks me personally. Why not stick to the issue, and talk about it instead of attacking me? In this case, I think I am the one being judged. I stand for “No Divorce” and I presented the reasons, I think it is best to do the same if you are pro divorce.

On the other hand, to answer your argument, it doesn’t mean that the world is immoral then we need to go along with it. The campaign for No Divorce is an expression of opinion, belief that Divorce Law will not help the Philippines. It is a waste of money and a waste of time. As I said, divorce solved nothing. The government has a better choice.

Unfortunately, we do not want the better choice, we want the easier choice.

If I may…I don’t agree with your comment about divorce not solving anything. It absolves a damaged relationship that is irreparable, irreconcilable and no longer absolute. How can you call that happiness or a marital bliss? I respect your opinion…I really do…but she and others are right….religion should not be involved in the political arena. The 7th Commandment alone states the case to many of these broken relationships.

divorce is giving freedom to couple/s suffering from emotional, financial, spiritual and almost all aspects of life.

kung inaabuso ka ng asawa mu di ipakulong mo o ireklamo mo. eh nasa iyo ang problema kung dimo gawan ng solusyon. kasi kung ang problema ay ang pananakit ng asawa o kung ano pa at ang tanging solusyon ay divorse eh para saan pa ang —– The Philippine Constitution ARTICLE XIII: WOMEN 1.)Section 14. The State shall protect working women by providing safe and healthful working conditions, taking into account their maternal functions, and such facilities and opportunities that will enhance their welfare and enable them to realize their full potential in the service of the nation. 2 .) Republic Act 9208 An Act to institute policies to eliminate trafficking in persons especially women and children, establishing the necessary institutional mechanisms for protection and support of trafficked persons, providing penalties for its violations and for other. 3 .) Republic Act 7192 of 1992 An Act known as the “Women in Development and Nation Building Act”, promotes the integration of women as full and equal partners of men in development and nation building. 4 .) Republic Act 8353 An Act known as the “Anti-Rape Law of 1997.” Contains answers to commonly asked questions about the law and rape as a public crime. Also contains contact details of agencies and organizations that rape victims may approach for help. 5.)Republic Act 7610 An Act providing for stronger deterrence and special protection against child abuse, exploitation and discrimination, and for other purposes. 6.) Republic Act 9262 An Act Defining Violence Against Women and Their Children, providing for protective measures for victims, prescribing penalties therefore, and for other purposes. Otherwise known as the “Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004”.—–nagsayang lang ng malaking pera para dito

——walang manloloko kung walang magpapaloko ——walang broken family kung walang broken promises ——be mature enough, everything has a purpose ——kung inaapi ka bat ka nagpaapi?, ——kung inaabuso ka bat ka nagpaabuso? ——ang divorce ay sandata ng mga manlolokong tao ——pasensya po kung ganto kagulo ang comment ko haha ——by the way comment lang naman- your reaction ——i’m anti-

You are right Paul Mark. Yeah… Divorce Law can actually be a defence ng isang mangaabuso.

Hi question po. San po sa bible or ano yung mga verses indicating that God is against divorce thank you po.

“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9 NIV)

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:4-12, NIV)

Explanation: Moses was permitted to write a provision for divorce because of the hardened hearts of men. But such is not the designed will of the Father. For marriage was designed to be a lifetime commitment.

No to RH BILL… Marriage is very sacred… think first before marrying someone to avoid being abused

YES TO DIVORCE!

you’re such a blessing pastor! 🙂

One may be able to assume that  God do not favor divorce however, seemingly, God saw the necessity for it: “It was only allowed due to the hardheadedness of men.”(please see third paragragh of the above post)… Why not our law allow it then?  

Restricting a whole nation to prevent them from sinning is impossible. They have means to do whatever they wish to do anyways. Instead of punishing the wrong doers (only if they get caught), why not give the victims refuge if they sought for it (as it will remain a choice).  

Surely Divorce Law won’t make people do what’s right- Surely it is not a solution to many  problems that arises in our country- Surely it will not make violence in a  disrupted marriage  disappear- as these had accompanied humanity eversince- However Divorce Law will give people a choice to  stay a in their pathetic state or not.  

If our government cannot keep its people safe with the numerous laws they implemented, why not give the people a way to protect themselves instead?  

Unhappiness shouldn’t be taken lightly. So is safety, peace of mind and the desire to start over. Sacrifices are not necessarily good nor produce good results. There are always two sides on a coin… Who has the right to restrict a fellow person to see only the head not the tail?

i agree DIVORCE s pinas… para may freedom nman ung mga ginawang pantyimbag n mga wives…

It is true that GOD doesn’t favor divorce but would GOD favor for the women to suffer????? I don’t think so. Ganun nlang po ba yun? Magtitiis ka para maging masaya ang pamilya? Ina, Ama at mga anak. MAgtitiis ang ina para manatiling buo ang pamilya. Hndi po kaya unfair din yun. Kung nananakit ang ama, OO pwedeng ipakulong pero mas pipiliin ko nlang po na e-divorce ng mama ko ang father ko kung ganun.

My parents also separated when I was a kid. My mom left us for another man, my dad took care of us and then left us for another woman as well. My mom is a born again and my dad is a catholic. My life with them was a total hell. I’ve always wanted for them to separate for good. They both believe in God but I totally did not see them apply what the Bible says about marriage. I’m glad that they already separated but at the back of my mind, I know that there is still something wrong. I believe in God, I believe what the Bible says. I am a bit scared as I don’t know how real family functions. I learned everything from school from church but I didn’t see real application from my parents so I wonder if I can make my own happy family in the future. One thing I realized is, God made us in His own image (Genesis) and God hates divorce.. He forgives us with our short comings and renews us when we ask for it. This is His way to show us how much we are loved by Him. Imagine if God would agree with Divorce, like, when we make mistake He’ll forsake us and look for somebody else better. 🙁

Ptr. Vince says: “Nonetheless, for those of you who are in abroad, or is planning to go abroad, we counselors never and do not advise that you go abroad alone. Bring your wife with you. Go and work together rather than working in abroad alone. As much as possible, work in the same country and stay at the same place. Family comes first money will follow. ”

HAHAHA iba ka! idol!!! hahahaha haaaay hahahaaha waaaaaa di ko mapigilan tawa ko! hahahaahaha ang galing mo mag isip teh!

It’s seems to be foolish ey? But just try it… it works. I have people who did this, and they are very happy. Up to you. After all, it’s your choice. 🙂

divorce is your passport to hell–st padre pio

ako?buo ung pamilya namen.. sang-ayon sko sa divorce bill kasi nkikita ko sa pamilya ng tito ko na hirap na hirap na ung asawa niya sa pamumuhay nila!!.. hiwalay na ila kaso di legal so dapat diba?..maging legal!..kaya mas gusto ko magkaroon na ng divorce d2 sa aten..para maging maly na ang mga mag-asawa na nakakalabuan na at para mawakasan na dn nila ung pag-hihirap nila!

When you have anything more concrete than the ‘Fear to God’ bulshit let me know.

Only frigging country in the world without divorce. How did this work out for you so far? You think you will be saving families like this? Bullshit. I’ve met many, MANY married Filipinos who don’t even talk to their “spouses” for years. Tell me again how making someone stuck with a marriage saves the family? Thank god no one started chaining spouses together yet. Think again. If divorce is to give someone a second chance, and that’s selfish (why? because I should fear god?? Just don’t…) so be it! People deserve to be happy and although many people I’ve met here are happy with their marriage, many of them are not! People deserve to be happy. What they don’t deserve is to be miserable due some imaginary God who had a book written by some people and some people believe it was written by him. Wake up!

Hey, the Pope said “ours is a church without circumcision’. Why do you blatantly disobey the church like this (as you did for years of the church telling you to get rid of the death penalty), but want to be ‘true Catholics’ and not allow divorce? You want to be good Catholics? STOP CIRCUMCISING your children, you are disobeying the pope and NO medical board in THE ENTIRE world recommends it.

Not allowing divorce does NOT keep people together. They merely have affairs and live apart. If Philippines is truly the secular country it claims it is, it will stop not allowing divorce because of the Catholic Church. Not everyone in Philippines is Catholic, why should they be denied?

I’m 14, hindi po ako pabor sa DIVORCE na yan. Unang una po eh ayokong masira ang aking pamilya at mahantong sa divorce. Hindi ito bf/gf relationship na pwede kayong maghiwalay dahil lamang sa mabigat na problema. Lagi kong inaalala na walang problema na hindi masosolusyunan. Wag po nating isipin ang PANSARILI NATING KALIGAYAHAN. Mas lalong magiging malakas ang loob ng isang babae’t lalaki na magLOKO dahl alam nilang may DIVORCE na pwedeng patakan. Hindi ito ang solusyon sa mag-asawang hindi magkasundo. Sana naman ay nauunawaan nyo ako. HINDI lamang nakatatanda ang dapat tanungin sa batas na ito kundi pati na ang mga KABATAAN na maaring maapektuhan .

WHY I AM IN FAVOR TO HAVE DIVORCE IN THE PHILIPPINES?

After the RH Bill has been passed by the Philippine Congress lately and ready to be a law after President Noynoy Aquino will sign it. Another controversial Bill is in line for deliberation when the Philippines Congress resumes in 2013 – this is the DIVORCE BILL.

Before you make conclusions against this Divorce Bill, you have to read and understand the whole provisions of the Family Code of the Philippines that needs amendment from the original “Legal Separation” code to “Divorce”. This Divorce Bill was authored by Cong. Manuel C. Ortega, of La Union. If this bill be translated into a law the provisions for filing a divorce is not that easy where several grounds for divorce shall be considered. This bill is not to suggest that if you don’t like your spouse, you can file for divorce that easy, it has to be in accordance with the provisions transpired in the Divorce Law.

Some people or even some of you who made comments that are against this Divorce Bill, are actually ignorant about the whole essence of this Bill filed by Cong. Manuel C. Ortega. All your apprehensions and fears are immaterial, and are just based on your emotions, personal understanding or even taken from the “kwentong kalye” rumors.

Some citizens who are against to this Divorce Bill have persuasions based on Roman Catholic Church’s mandate disfavoring divorce. These “men in white” are influencing their religious constituents to bar against divorce in the Philippines when in fact they haven’t had strong program in giving alternative solutions for eliminating broken families in placing hundreds of thousands of Fiiipino single parents in jeopardy, who have been living estrange away from their legal spouses. Some of these “holier than thou” are just following some principles against divorce being taught to them by the clergy, but totally ignorant on Biblical principles about divorce.

Although it is not God’s will to divorce because it was God who established the first family in the Garden of Eden, but the Bible also has few provisions in allowing divorce for some certain reasons: The Torah of Moses has provisions about divorce (Deut. 24:1-4; Deut. 22:13-19). Even Jesus Christ DID NOT favor divorce but has allowed it to happen if it is based on marital infidelity (Matthew 19:1-9). Saint Paul also was against divorce but has admonished the Corinthian Church about divorce if it would happen inevitably (I Corinthians 7:8-14)

I am a single dad with 4 kids living with me. I have been estranged from my wife for the past 8 years and there is no way for us to be reunited. I have been struggling raising my kids without a marital partner and I am not getting any younger anymore, and I need a new wife to grow old with me when my children will have their own families someday. And in fact there are thousands of single parents here in our country that are also struggling to find and live with new legal spouses just because they are bound with the validity of their previous marriages with live Marriage Contracts, and can’t afford to get an Annulment. If this Bill be passed into a Law, this will be very favorable to single parents just like me to remarry without hassle in going through the process of an Annulment.

This Divorce Bill is not intended to break an existing well-established, solid and firm families, but rather, it will protect abused women to disregard their abusive and infidel husbands. It is to protect the welfare of the children away from irresponsible and abusive parent/s. It is to give hope to those single parents who have been separated and estranged from their legal spouses for many years to find a new legal spouse.

Kaya kayong mga tumututol laban sa Divorce Bill, basahin nyo muna ang Divorce Bill na ipinasa ni Cong. Manuel C. Ortega, bago kayo mag satsat ng satsat at dakdak ng dakdak laban nito. Kayong mga single parents at mga separado at separada, suportahan natin ang Divorce Bill na ito at ating isusulong na ito’y masaibatas upang tayo ay magkakaroon ng kalayaan mula sa nakataling kasal na di naman nagsasama, at magkakaroon tayo ng pag-asa na makapag-asawa muli.

ISULONG ANG DIVORCE BILL!!!!!

I believe that divorce law will never be a solution to the growing problem of marital rape, battered wives, etc. I think the problem here is the loss of virtues that we supposedly have. The virtue of respect, the virtue of love, the virtue of honesty, etc. In the first place, there would have not been battered wives if the married couple put Christ at the center of their marriage and if they learn to understand and respect one another. There would be no divorce if the couple stands for what they promised at the altar during their marriage. Before you should enter marriage, you should know the kind of person you are going to marry because in marriage, there is no turning back and it is a lifetime commitment. Being married is a long time preparation, you start from your childhood until the moment of your marriage. So there is no reason why you should engage in divorce, unless you were not able to prepare very well.

Marriage is a reflective act of God united to the church. WE people are the church and Jesus Christ is the head. We can never be separated to the head of the church who is Jesus Christ. So if divorce law will be pushed through, then we are as if saying to God that we are not part of the church. We are as if left as a body without a head. No guidance! RESULT: Divorce can only create confusion to a child for the reason that he or she does not know which family he or she belongs, for his or her mom or dad could be married to another man or woman having their own children. I believe that divorce will just cater the selfishness of both parents. There is annulment in the country so why ask for divorce.

The point is bakit pa kayo nagpakasal nang di ninyo inalam kong ano talaga ang karas nang mapapangasawa ninyo. Dapat inalam ninyo muna sana at di kayo nagpadalos-dalos nang di kayo humantong sa pag.didivorce. Being is not a trial and error.

Word “married” inserted between “Being” and “is not a trial”

Divorce, supported by 90% people in the Philippines. Go for it!

Religion Sucks!!!!! Priests Sucks!!!!!

No God, No Religion= Peace of mind.

Pilipinas nalang ang naiwang “tanga” sa buong mundo.

Or it’s the other way around… 🙂

These comments only emphasize that you do not know and understand religion. I wonder what happened to you that you ended this bitter.

tama ka! malaking check korek!

seriously, all of you who believe divorce should be legalized and assume that people who are against it does not mean that they are ONLY experiencing happiness and never had to go through any struggles in their marriage, or that they have never been married, which is why they cannot empathize with what you are going through.

but NO ONE FORCES ANYONE TO BE MARRIED. you went into it with your own free will, why marry when you don’t even know your partner well enough (both their good AND BAD sides) have tested their limits enough to see if they are the type to hit you when you argue, to see any signs of abuse or doubts about the partner committing infidelity, or if you just do not mesh together as well as you’d hoped? WHY GET MARRIED when you do not know who the hell it is you’re marrying yourself into?

divorce secures the possibility of an insurance that if you go into a marriage at full throttle without any sufficient work of actually getting to know each other and yourselves figuring out together (without any mind games or mere assumptions that the other SHOULD KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING AND FEELING without me having to spell it out for them), the first sign of a disagreement, you would be rest assured that if you do not work at the marriage to communicate your issues, decades from when the first disagreement started, you know you have a safety net that you can get away if it gets out of hand. there is no sense of risk anymore. when love is supposed to be ultimately sacrificial, now it’s just dead. even ten folds more worse when a couple has children.

unless you were raped, abused, forced into the marriage, i really cannot see why anyone should be granted divorce when in the first place they promised TILL DEATH DO US PART and IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. did anyone force you to say that? no? yes? see, logic would be: if you feel like you’re not ready to risk getting married? THEN.DO.NOT.MARRY! stop pointing fingers telling people who are happily married DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS, because we do. we just have the HUMILITY TO WORK THROUGH IT, TOGETHER. and blaming priests? *sigh* God bless all of you for such accusations when most priests who are against divorce only wish what is best for our souls.

i think what should be passed is a bill for PRE-MARRIAGE SCREENING Certificate. where whoever that wishes to marry should not be allowed to get married unless they get a pre-marriage approval from psychiatrists that they are actually IN A HEALTHY and GENUINELY LOVING relationship. there should be tests, books that they need to read, and 2+ months long seminars, that way if whoever wishes to really marry someone, that wouldn’t even bother them because they know they would do ANYTHING to make their partners happy.

now on the upside, the insincere ones would think, THIS IS B.S. and a waste of my time!! anyone who isn’t right in the head would not bother sitting through weeks of seminars just to be with someone they don’t really love.

so if they can’t sell that? the relationship? if the psychiatrist/psychologist IS NOT SOLD on their story? then they won’t be able to get married. this way, future abuse in any marriage is prevented and there won’t be any need for divorce anymore.

stop being reactive people, start being PRO-active. if you’re Pro-DIVORCE? and you’re married? teach your children to not get married unless they really know whoever it is they’re marrying into. if there is anyone to blame, it’s our own selves.

Well said… 🙂

Horrible grammar aside, do you even think before you give advice? Clearly your advice to Jojo (if it can even be called advice) is thoughtless and insensitive kasi andyan na nga, nangyari na sa kanya. Do you really think na ganun kadali magdala ng asawa or pamilya abroad? Yung may work commitment na nga lng nadedeny pa minsan, what more kung di ganun kataas ang sweldo, tapos isasama mo pa spouse mo. Do you have an idea as to how hard it is to feed yourself there while trying to save money to send home, tapos dagdagan mo pa ng isang bunganga na kelangan kumain dun? Ano tingin mo sa OFWs natin, executive positions ang pinapasukan? Sa payo mo kay Jojo parang sinasabi mo na kasalanan nya ang nangyari and not his wife. Na mali ang ginawa nyang decision to sacrifice and bear the loneliness and pain of being away from his family kasi he wanted to be able to provide for them and he had no other way to earn enough money except to try his luck abroad. Mas ok ba na hinayaan na lng nya magutom pamilya nya, or turn to a life of crime here, para lng andito sya?

@Karl …Bringing your wife and your family in abroad is difficult. I know that. Pero yun ang gamit ng word na “planning”. Please don’t give me your petty argument that it’s not possible because I can give names of people who have brought their family abroad. I have personal friends whom I advised to bring their family and was able to bring them. It’s a matter of choice.

I never said that it is Jojo’s fault… But there is a better choice if you really want to go abroad. If you prefer to stay there in abroad without your family, it’s always up to you, but you are endangering your relationship with your spouse and your children. You are opening yourself and your spouse to a more tempting situation to go and find another man or woman. It’s not a mindless advice Karl… It is about the basic principle of what is family is about. A reminder of how you should raise your family.

Feeding the family… your whole issue. I was just puzzled by your insults and as you insist that it was mindless advice. Because as far as I can see here, it seems like you are making a picture of having a family without having a good plan of feeding your family but to go abroad.

I highly respect our OFW’s, that is why I am giving a sensible advice not like you who opened up in a very insulting opinion with a mindless answer.

Karl, I hope that you are able to answer yourself your last question, because I really don’t believe that there is “no other way”. There is a way, only you don’t like the idea and you don’t like to work for it.

I think I made my statement well.

Don’t answer back if you will post inappropriate words and insults because you will just waste your time and it won’t be published. If you want to answer, be responsible to your words. After all, we respect opinions here, it’s just we don’t tolerate vulgar, nor insulting words. This is a religious blog. Thank you!!!

Unfortunately, divorce is not a black and white, cut and dry thing na totally masama or totally mabuti ang maidudulot. Ito naman po ang masasabi ko sa inyo bilang isa sa milyon milyong kababaihan sa Pilipinas na iniwan ng kanilang mga asawa:

“For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. THIS HUSBAND WILL THEN JUST LOOK FOR ANOTHER WOMAN TO ABUSE. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.” – So ano? Hayaan na lang natin yung kanyang kasalukuyang asawa na maabuso hanggang mamatay na sya para lang walang ibang babaeng maabuso ang asawa nya? Very smart argument there above. Mapapailing ka na lang.

“Approximately 4% of American children are living only with their father.” – E bakit dito sa Pilipinas? Kala nyo ba porket walang divorce lahat ng pamilya buo? We live like divorced folks, kumakayod at nagtataguyod sa mga anak namin on our own dahil iniwan kami ng mga asawa namin. Ang kaibahan lang namin sa mga divorced folks ay ang papel at ang mandated support for the children. So you see (and this is so obvious that feeling ko nakapikit sa katotohanan ang blogger na ito), with or without divorce, millions of FILIPINO children are living without their fathers NOT as a result of divorce, but of abandonment.

“The vast majority of children who are raised in a two-parent home will never be poor during childhood. By contrast, the vast majority of children who spend time in a single-parent home will experience poverty.” – Tama kayo. Just like the above AMERICAN statistics, hirap na hirap kami. PERO HINDI AS A RESULT OF DIVORCE, BUT AS A RESULT OF ABANDONMENT BY THE HUSBANDS/FATHERS. And while divorce will have strict guidelines for child support, wag kayo magalala, mga kalalakihan. Very few women will ever accept support from you because of our Filipina pride. After all, ilang taon na naming binubuhay mag-isa ang mga anak na iniwan nyo. At isa pa, dahil sa tindi ng motivation naming mga ina _ ang mga anak namin, sa totoo lang karamihan samin mas malalaki pa ang sahod kaysa sa mga lalaking umiwan samin. Pero kita nyo hirap pa rin kami? Kasi nga, tama naman, ideally, dalawa ang dapat na nagtutulungan magtaguyod ng mga anak. AT SINO NAMAN ANG AYAW NUN??? LAHAT NG KILALA KONG MGA INIWAN NG ASAWA NILA, myself included, FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET OUR HUSBANDS BACK, if only for the kids man lang, KAHIT PINAGPALIT NA KAMI SA MGA GRO HOSTESS. So you cannot say that we like where we’re at. In fact, YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE SUFFERING OF EVERY WOMAN LEFT BY THEIR HUSBAND. YOU HAVE NO CLUE AT ALL.

“Children from female-headed homes are five times as likely to be poor as children in two-parent families.” “Four times as many divorced women with children fell under the poverty line than married women with children.” – As I stated, totoo po yan. Pero nagpapatuloy kami. Habang nagpapasasa ang mga asawa namin sa iba-ibang babae matapos kaming iwanan. But again, it is not a woman’s choice to be poor. Kaya nga todo ang kayod namin eh, hello???

So you see, first of all, your above statistics, sir, are from the US and, therefore, do not apply to the Philippines as we are miles apart in difference. The above facts are statistics. Statistics mean there was data upon which these figures were based. Those figures were collected from Americans, NOT FILIPINOS. In fact, I’m sure that if someone were to do a survey, they would actually see that the majority of these so called poor folks are poor because they were abandoned, not because they chose (or will choose, if in case the divorce bill is passed) divorce. Sa America, karamihan dyan sa mga divorce na yan, ano? Hindi makatiis sa kahirapan yung mga babae, gusto ng marangyang buhay. Irreconcilable differences, ang tataas ng pride. And the like. PERO ANG MGA PINAY, ano? Matiyaga ang Pinay. Matiisin. And generally, tutulong talaga kami sa mga asawa namin kung talagang hirap sa buhay.

I speak only for Filipino women who have been abandoned by their husbands, as I am one of them. And unless you are one of us, you don’t know what we go through everyday of our lives with our children dahil iniwan kami, hindi dahil pinili namin makipaghiwalay. And I’d like to mention I am a Baptist myself. So was my husband, or so he professed and I thought. I speak not only for single moms who are Catholics, Protestants, etc. Yes, I speak for Baptists as well. I have seen all of this in church. I mean, why else are there more moms than dads going to church with the kids.

And now I have met a Baptist gentleman who, despite the fact na para lang akong basurang itinapon ng isang lalake ay tanggap ako at ang anak ko. Who loves my son even more than his own father ever did. And who continues to pray for me, believing that inspite of my circumstances, I AM GOD’S BEST FOR HIM. Now, my child (and millions of other abandoned children, if given the chance) has a chance to not fall under your so called statistics above. Now he has the chance to not be poor, not become rebelious, the chance to be loved by two parents, the chance to be taught basketball coz I never could, the chance to address the Father’s Day greeting card they make in art class to someone real, who’s there and who will actually receive and read it. But we can’t.

Alam nyo, buti na lang I’m a firm believer in the sovereignty of God. I know that everything was planned _ from me having my son, and yes, to being left by my husband. And that it why this gentleman and I continue to pray for God’s will for us, for the chance, not to be happy, because I do not believe God made man to be happy. But to glorify God together, with “our” son. To show the world how God loved me enough, na kahit iniwan ako, bibigyan pala Nya ako ng isang taong mas mabait at tatanggapin lahat sakin, at tuturingin ang anak ko, hindi bilang isang dagdag sa buhay ko na kailangan lang nya tanggapin, kundi bilang isang blessing. Buti na lang naniniwala akong mas makapangyarihan ang Panginoon kaysa sa inyo at sa makitid nyong opinion at sa lahat man ng mambabatas sa Pilipinas na maaring magpasa o kumontra sa sa divorce bill.

Yes, God hates divorce. But I think the reason He permitted it in the Bible is, at the very least, for the children’s sake. You’re all so focused on the mentality na “magdidivorce lang yang mga yan para makapagasawa ng makapagasawa. YOU ARE MISSING THE WHOLE POINT, THE REAL ISSUE, THE REALITY THAT IS US.

It’s funny how I see your response to this post in my email but not on here. Did you delete it??? Hay nako. Napapailing na lang ako. If it appears on here, then I’ll comment on it as there really were loopholes in your response. Di ko na alam kung makitid or playing dumb. Parang the latter.

FYI. “Seeing first hand” is not the same as “experiencing.” Think about that.

Point taken Pastor. I was once in a happy marriage and always afraid and disagree with the concept of divorce. I was so immature to judge those who are in favor of divorce because they simply wanted to be free and happy. Not until I realized I needed one. I never wanted to stay with a guy who keeps on telling me that he doesn’t love mo anymore everyday of my life in front of my innocent child. Keeps on insulting me and reminding me of my imperfections. He doesn’t go home everyday, if he goes home, he’ll sleep just to avoid me. He tells my kid he loves her, but just her, not her Mom! It’ s been going on for a year. my poor kid will cry everytime she sees me cry. I just want to get out of this but see, I would need a lawyer a psychiatrist and a bunch of money. Can you help people like me get out of misery? Sure you can’t! And don’t you ever think that divorce is selfish for the family. What’s selfish is hiding the truth from the family,my daughter until she hears it from someone else.

Hi Bianca! Was sad to read your story. I can’t give you personal advice especially that I don’t know the overall situation (from both parties). But I just want to ask you a question, what do you think will divorce give you? Sure, you will be “legally” away, and have no obligation at all with your husband anymore granted that we have divorce in the Philippines. But my question is, do you think divorce will really give you freedom? Do you think divorce will give you happiness that you want?

Please know that I never judged those who are wanting divorce. I certainly understand them and my sympathy is with people like you. And it also doesn’t mean that because I am anti-divorce, I don’t love people who are in your situation. The fact is, I have ministered to a lot of problematic relationship that resulted to annulment, separation and even abandonment. But I have never seen that divorce is the solution to these problems. Believe it or not, many of them have repetitive problems even after annulment and separation. It still lies to the couple in a relationship on how they value that relationship and their family. Please note that I said, “couple” not just you nor him, because marriage is about 2 people becoming one.

My name is Larry, I live in Australia, and I’m happily married to a lovely and caring wife, with two kids. A very big problem occurred

in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife. So terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce. She said that she

never wanted to stay with me again, and that she didn’t love me anymore. So she packed out of my house and made me and my

children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back, after much begging, but all to no avail, and she

confirmed it that she has made her decision, and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening, as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to

her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never

believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she

visited.{[email protected]}. So the next morning, I sent a mail to the address she gave to me, and the spell caster assured me that I will get my wife back.What an

amazing statement!! I never believed, so he spoke with me, and told me everything that I need to do. Days later, so surprisingly, my

wife who didn’t call me for the past seven {7}months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was

how she came back, with lots of love and joy, and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children.

Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {[email protected]}, if you are in any condition like

this, or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back or your relationship is about to crumble. So thanks to Great Babalaja Oracle Temple for bringing back my, and brought great joy to my family once again. {[email protected]}, Thanks…

Sorry… but we do not believe in spell caster.

Spell &*^(^(&^*^$%#$%$ ask her who was the guy she was staying with I bet the guy got tried of her because the game was over…

Thank you po sa mga ginawa nyo. Nakatulong ito sa aming debate kasi po negative side kami…. Pero ayaw ko po ng divorce… Ayaw ko po talaga

Looking forward that you will have a better marriage life.

simple, ayoko ng divorce sa Pinas. Andame ng mga bata na lumalaki ng sira ung pamilya. Dadagdagan pa ba? Come on. isipin nio naman ung mga bata na lumalaki kasama ung ikalawang asawa nung magulang nya instead sa tunay nyang parent? hahanapin at hahanapin ng bata ung tunay kalinga ng tunay nyang MGA magulang. Hindi ung nagmamagulang magulangan sa kanya na ibang tao pa. sad to say, na andami na ng mga bata na nakakaexperience ng pagka broken family. Sana maging considerate naman kayo sa mga batang nangangarap ng buong pamilya. Kung talagang gustong maayos ung family, there’s a way if there’s a will. Sana pakinggan din naman ung voices nung mga batang umiiyak para sa pagkakaron ng buong pamilya. kawawa sila. Nasa magulang yan, sakanila magsisimula ung morality na yan. If they only have strong faith to God, me solusyon yan. Hindi divorce. Don’t build a family kung alangan ka (di lang sa sarili pati sa magiging kasama sa buhay). Parents, nasa sainyo po kung anong vision nio para sa family nio. Sa inyo po yan mag uumpisa. Your children are your blessings, kayo po dapat ung maging huwaran sa kanila.

korek! nasa magulang yan. nasa BOTH parents.

the operative word there being BOTH.

I agree with Pastor Vince, Nhene and all others as much as we should we have the word of God to guide us through this life respecting each other we need to tell others why we see things differently so that their decisions may be based on facts. the person you want to divorce and throw out of yr life needs you, the challenges that are making you sign a divorce certificate are just temporary misunderstanding. If only one shed a little understanding, patience and acceptance you may find yourselves in a peacefull situation again. When you got attracted to each other, that attraction was natural that it drove each of you crazyly in love and you decided to spend your life time together, on every long journey, people get thirsty, hungry and tired but when some refreshments are received and a little rest people continue the jouney and till the end they rejoice. Dear brother or sister out there, what you are lacking is not love but some refreshments to give you strength for a fresh step. There are no angles to get married to here on earth we are all human bound to stamble but when the truth is made clear challenges would be over come and you will understand why we say NO DIVORCE

I really like what you said above coz they’re true. Unfortunately, those who should be hearing them, either do not read this stuff or are busy na with their third parties after leaving their families.

Hi everyone. I know this is an old issue, but just the same I would like to state my stand on it. I’m actually thinking about going pro-divorce with specific clauses under it. I understand that should divorce be legalized, it may give irresponsible people of the way to abuse it. Rather, lay out specific restrictions to only who can undergo divorce under very valid reasons. Thanks for hearing me out:)

Of all the folks here, with such a short post, you seem to not only make the most sense, but are the most inquisitive.

My heart aches for women, yes, even Baptist women I know with Baptist husbands, being beaten and abused everyday. Having a close mind on divorce kinda like says hintayin mo na lang mamatay ka, dyan ka lang. In my case, though, I was not a battered wife. But my son was. :,(

Thanks for your opinions Ptr. Vince. It really helps me for my debate. I’m start loving your words and your passion to stand against critics. Godbless !!

May God bless your heart Ninyow!!!

Divorce is not an escape-goat thing nor does not signifies a weak Christian life..rather facing the reality of life that not everything we had committed on our past are certain but just a fruit of our immaturity and a diversion of our emptiness during our young ages.That now, as we get older and was a mold into a better person making wiser decisions, we have come to realize that everything was a mistake that were wish to correct before its too late for us.Everybody deserves chances and everybody deserves to be happy. Definitely, this idea will not hinder our Christian life as long as our intentions are pure ; rather will take us even more closer to God, by submitting our weaknesses, repenting, building a new life with someone new whom you Perfectly believe that is truly meant for you. Remember that aging is Wisdom.and as we age, we wish to manage of correcting our faults; the wrong Marriage and we could decide for better and for best.

Right, the Bible doesn’t support divorce I guess. But what was it god said about adultery? Oh yeah…..straight from god’s mouth to Moses: ” Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”

You didn’t really need divorce when your wife cheated back in biblical times now did ya? God’s solution was pretty darn simple…..and much cheaper than divorce.

I would have to say that since it is no longer acceptable to whack your wife for cheating, which was in a sense getting rid of your wife, divorce seems to be much more a modern, humane, way of dealing with adultery. But hey, if you are against the humane way of dealing with it I say let’s bring back the godly way (wracking people who cheat)…..since you are all about god’s “word”. Don’t pick and choose which “words” benefit your agenda.

Congrats to those who have their marriage until now and maybe forever. Inggit ako sa mga ganon frankly. But be aware my friends that sometime things we do not wants to happen is a thing to happen and be ours one without expectation and contribution to it. It so hard losing your better half but believe me. It will just come sometimes like a thief at night. Noon ayaw ko rin ng divorce but after saving my marriage for almost 30 years now. Do you think it is still reasonable to die with him in my heart and mind? If he is happy out there in any manner why not me? Does it mean if you are divorced you can not be a God believer anymore and hindered to attend the mass? All other countries (except Thailand, Ghana and few others) are more blessed compare to Philippines where divorce already existing many years ago? Let’s say this is not the Will of God, yes. But in real life it is needed. At least the law of the land is in favor to it, after all, wala namang pagkakaiba. Palitpalit din naman ng babae ng lalaki kahit walang divorce. Pinaguusapan lang why, it’s not legal! Nasa tao na yan kung aabusohin nila ang divorce! if you love a person though kasal nga kayo o hindi magwuwork din, di ba? It’s a long story, maybe complicated too but I really loved my husband before he was my true love and my ideal man. Of all the men in the world i felt he is really alone for my choice. But remember it takes two to tango. And it’s hopeless already as i could see. So now apparently I’m go . . . . to DIVORCE!

My ex is a drug addict and pusher since we started and had couple of kids which he had one of my children killed, due to a reason of him being paranoid that it is not his son. In Philippines if you don’t have enough evidence no one will take your care seriously even there’s a dead body it’s difficult to prove especially if witnesses refused to testify for you so nothing will happen. Why would I be stock with a man like this? We individually has right to be free and if we chooses to be with someone else that is our choice but it doesn’t mean we have to put up living with someone we know it’s a big mistake…We deserved a better life especially if we have to bring up our children on our own.

@Maricar. I really sympathize with you with what had happened. And your husband must be a very irresponsible guy.

But since we are in the issue of divorce, you yourself said that it was a “big mistake”. Why? Haven’t you seen what kind of man he is when he was still courting you? Haven’t you investigated who he is when you are not yet husband and wife?

Yes, you do deserve to have better life. And should have had a better life if you have been careful enough in choosing your husband. But I am not blaming you or something. I am just emphasizing “our responsibility” to choose the BEST husband that we can ever have for the sake of our readers and the younger generation who will be reading this.

In your case, I think divorce is NOT the solution. If you believe it’s a crime, then it should be litigated by our criminal law.

YES I AGREE, SAY NO TO IT!!!

NO! I DISAGREE YES TO DIVORCE! TOO MANY DRUG ADDICTS AND BAD GUYS WHY PUT UP WITH THEM?

@Maricar… Why marry drug addicts after all?

Divorce is needed for philipines for the betterment and development of human value in 21 st century.

@Kailash… You should check Stats on morality and violence against women and children in other countries such as US and Australia. See if these rates are down. If it’s not, then DIVORCE is NOT a solution.

This is wrong and completely insane idea not to give divorce. Chirsanity is the best religion in the world and freedom is always needed. This is very bad If Philipines wants democracy and development they have to make bill passed allowing divorce. This will make all woman of philipine will be happy. LOGIC BEHIND not given to divorce is nonsence. I am from Nepal and We have also same culture like philipines but this is really not scientific in 21 st century. Please Jesus provide Philipineas divorce Law passed Then this country will flourished and developed country like UK and Japan. Thanks.

Ituloy na dapat ang divorce sa PILIPINAS.. Pano naman ung mga biktima ng pang aabuso ng asawa..Nabuntis lang nung pusukan pa nila. Napakasal lang sila sa kagustuhan ng magulang.. alang alang sa reputasyon. Hindi kaya ung mga taong tutol.. masyadong close minded sa mga ganito situation.. Dadaan pa naman sa due process ang lahat… Pwede din naman ilimit hanggang second time lang divorce.. then 3rd time ung annulment… Dapat hindi rin nakikialam ang simbahan sa mga ganitong desisyon ng pamahalaan… “Everybody deserve second chance”.

While I do respect most of your opinion… I do disagree with “Dapat hindi rin nakikialam ang simbahan sa mga ganitong desisyon ng pamahalaan.”

First, Divorce is NOT JUST a national issue, it is ALSO a MORAL issue. That alone is enough reason for the church to say something.

Second, you have said it, “dadaan ito sa due proess”, part of this due process is consultation to the citizens of the Philippines. Are we NOT a fellow citizen? Kung ang mga militante nga may pakialam, lalo na ang simbahan na nagtuturo ng morality.

Third, is the church not entitled to its opinion? This is a democratic country.

I believe in my personal god, my personal jesus. But this anti-divorce bill sucks bigtime. God gave us free will. From there, we can decide whether to end our marriage or not. I feel that this country is being bullied by the Catholic church. By Jove, that they experienced sad marital stories especially wives getting beaten by the husbands.. Of course not, cause they cannot relate to what’s happening inside a married life! As for those with happy marriages, God bless you. With or without the divorce law, you can go about your daily happy married lives. Unless, you are anti divorce because you are afraid that your spouse might file divorce once the law gets passed. Lol. Shame on you. These women who push divorce have counseled more than a handful of women who needs real sympathy. Not the emotionless sympathy you type here. Oh yes, btw, my husband cusses and beats me up when he visits my daughter and i here in the philippines. He is an ofw who had an affair with a married pinay for more than 3 years. My daughter is even the one pushing me to find her a new daddy who wouldnt beat me up in front of her and curse me. She is 7 years old. Beat that! I am so for Divorce even ive read that it wont be passed within 6 yrs time..

sabihin mo yan after …10yrs …after your married life …if you make it to have a successful marriage then ….good but if not …..come back here im sure i know you will say….

i do disagree that this divorce bill shall not be legallized, it is never an option to help a relationship of a married couple, it just only destroy everything. if ever this bill is been legallized the holliness of a marriage in our country, will be gone! people nowadays has no control on themselves, they can do everything what they want, the importance of marriage will be lost, although i am a high school student i knew that this bill could never ever gonna help our society specially (married couples), it just only allow people to be married over and over again^^ we should dwell on what our ancestors taught about how to appreciate and protect the importance of a marriage. LOL thank GOD i found this website it clears my mind^^ haha we’re going to have a debate tomorrow about this bill, yeah i know what im going to say. NO TO DIVORCE BILL!!!

Go sio_ashford!!! May God be with you as you fight for righteousness!!!

sabihin mo yan after …10yrs …after your married life …if you make it to have a successful marriage then ….good but if not …..come back here im sure i know you will say….GOOD LUCK!!!

Yes,i agree with divorced bill.. why? i’m separated almost 6yrs. My ex husband now is living with her mistress and we have 4kids living w/ me. He is happy with his new family and have kids w/ there own. Yes he give an allowance w/ the kids but can’t afford them to go to collage ….,its just enough for there foods but sometimes not…

The question is …how about me?…i will tie to our marriage forever …cos there is no divorced in the PHIL? I want to get out of our marriage to face a new life and re married again to the man i newly love! But how?….i’m poor i can’t afford the annulment then …it is infidelity or my ex not perform as a husband to me…and what if not granted by court because infidelity is not valid reason as i read in this column… For me marriage is a bond that should be kept if you can’t keep it don’t commit to it simple as that. At the same time you have to understand how the Philippines functions or more importantly how its dysfunctional in many ways when it comes to love and marriage. And its unfair to those unsuccessful marriage.

In my case my ex husband now is happily living w/ her mistress….so i deserve also to choose what i want to do in my life. I want to re-married again. If anyone here can help me(we were married in municipal mayor) ..i will be happy but i don’t have money to pay. I just want to live happy and peaceful with someone i love now…but because i’m married its a hindrance to us,cos i want to make it legal to go into new relationship. I hope there is someone here can help me!!

@Lorna. Hi there!!! Sometimes it was really a pain to have made a mistake in the past and now we are suffering because of it. But, are you really sure marrying “again” to another guy will be you better and happier?

Then, if it is, you and your new husband to be should invest something on it. You said you are poor. Then again, if your husband to be is also poor and is not even willing to do his best for your annulment, I think you need to think twice because marrying him will not solve your financial needs at all.

The lack of divorce law in the Philippines is not actually a hindrance… but a blessing to you. So that you will be more careful in choosing your partner. Hope this gives you some wisdom. Blessings!

“marrying him will not solve your financial needs at all. ”

wow. marriage is not about money! marriage is about two people glorifying God in their marriage, with the wife submitting to their husband and the husband loving the wife as Christ loves the church.

i’m kinda confused about these responses on here….

ever consider not every marriage in annullable? what if the church doesn’t find any reason the marriage wasn’t valid in the first place, what then? she just has to try and make her ex leave his current and abandon the man she loves? think, mcfly, think

Pastor, I think divorce should be legalized.It is more traumatic to the children involved.For example, it would hurt the children to see his parents fighting and killing each other.The child would blame himself of course.so number one reason is ABUSE. next is ADULTERY.if there is divorce cheating husbands and wives would be obviously lessened.why cheat and sin if you can have a new husband and start a new life. next is ANNULMENT.since this is already legalized why stop divorce?and since our economy is already going down and most of us filipinos are poor and the annullment cost is high how would they be able to break free from their living hell of marriage? I know that marriage is a holy sacrament but does god really wants a loveless marriage full of hatred and pain?why not marry again and REALLY make it a holy one. next point is DEMOCRACY.we are free people.philippines is a free country.do not enslave us from a marriage full of pain.thank you. i have a debate tomorrow(3rd year high school-15 years old) 🙂

@Claire Please read “Jestine Salonga’s” points. They are very helpful in understanding the relationship of economy and divorce.

You said, “does god really wants a loveless marriage?”

My question is, do we really have to blame God for our irresponsible choice of who to marry? Believe me, there are more people who wants divorce because of wrong decisions to marry someone that they though they love only to find out that marriage is not just about “feelings” nor sex, nor comfort.

Please, do not blame God for that. We are the one who is enslaving ourselves to situations that we do not want. And then when problem comes, after realizing our mistakes, we want to escape from it and then blame God? So that’s? Make a law for something that will just gratify our cravings? Those people who are addicted to illegal drugs love to do it, and they enjoy it a lot… why not propose to legalize those drugs as well to make it dignified?

Democracy…. yes we are democratic. And we have the right to have a divorce free family. A family valued at the very beginning before marriage, A family where mom and dad love each other even before they got married. And that’s how we should value marriage. If we only value marriage, there is no such thing as a loveless marriage.

I wish I am there to face you in the debate. 🙂

I appreciate your views. I just want to refute them though. 🙂

Why is everyone thinking just coz a marriage is messed up, it’s coz you chose the wrong guy/girl??? Helloooo meron ngang isang pastor na iniwan nya ung asawa nya eh! Point is, NO ONE CAN TELL THE FUTURE. And everything is preordained according to the soverrignty of God. Kakafocus nyo dyan sa mistake ng mga taong to, baka magulat na lang kayo isang araw sa inyo o sa isang mahal nyo sa buhay mangyari yan _ na akala nyo they made the right choice talaga, etc. Cmon. Ever heard of apostates? Haaaaaay. Kakitd.

yes it’s man moral duty and obligation to know and till the truth. but divorce is not necessarily destroy morality.corruption, abortion,cheating,adultery or concubinage,and others destroy morality. I am a guy but i give sympathy to innocent victim of adultery and abuse. Many innocent husband or wife suffering but still looking for a good one….who are really love them.

nasayang yung mahabang tinype ko for a comment., 🙁 anyway., I’m anti-divorce., but your way of persuading people is not commendable Your reasoning dwells so much in the Bible., I too, am a Christian and have read the Bible myself., But people nowadays are not as religious as they were before., my reasoning dwells on the science and sociology., did you even bother researching about the reason for the global recession that started in the mighty USA. that could’ve helped your argument., Three studies state that the recession was a product of divorce., The foundation of family in the USA trembled before the legalized divorce in their country., it destroyed the foundation of the family and destroyed the foundation of society., If the basic unit of society is “disoriented” so will the country it resided. The comment that was lost is 2 hours worth of typing., pity. I’ve discussed a lot of things., anyhow., NO TO DIVORCE.

@Jestine, Your comment was not lost… it was only held for moderation. But you should see it now.

I am glad that you are anti-divorce and thank you very much for clarifying that science and sociology aspect and divorce. That’s really a help. However, I must clarify that the post is not intended to persuade people. It is intended to open our eyes of the reality that divorce does not help. Furthermore, this is a religious blog, so you cannot expect that this will be more scientifically inclined than religiously inclined.

Yun lang nakakatawa minsan because people tend to forget that this is a religious blog instead of an ordinary blog. LOL.

Anyway, please know that I do appreciate your views. This helps a lot. 🙂 More blessings!!!

haha. 😀 My bad Pastor. I, as a matter of fact, did forget that this is a religious blog. God Bless and may God help you in your quest to negate what is being promoted by many. 🙂

The Pope said, “ours is a church without circumcision”. Since you’re already breaking the first one, why not adopt the more practical one? Real Catholic don’t disobey the Pope.

Actually, it is my firm belief that the BIble is never outdated. It has provisions for everything we go through, everything everyone in this world will ever come across. And yes, it has provisions on divorce, too. Funny why you don’t see them here. See John MacArthur’s book Divine Design.

As a Filipino citizen and a daughter,can I ask you why you prefer divorce over annulment? The majority of Filipino marriages is in the point of failure and marriage is the only thing that keeps a family together. It’s completely selfish!!! You only consider the feelings of the two people who started ‘the family’,what will happen to the ‘family’ if their parents got divorce.Philippines is still the Philippines and we dwell in the cultural values and custom traditions our ancestors taught us. The Philippines together with the Vatican is the only country without divorce.It make us unique.

@Harriet… the answer is very simple. Divorce does not help in promoting godliness and moral values.

Since Annulment is much more difficult and expensive than divorce, people rethink over their relationships. And all the more before they get marry.

If we will allow divorce, our courts will be flooded with these cases, and people will tend to abuse its provisions. Just as it happened to all other countries with divorce law.

So dahil na naman sa pera. hahaha…

Hindi lang dahil sa pera… People should learn that marriage is not only valuable because it’s expensive, but because it is sanctified union.

That’s exactl\y the point! It’s not just about money (in fact, it’s not about money AT ALL. And not love, either, but, as the Bible says, two people glorifying God in their marriage) But your comment made it seem like it was just about the money, as if the money factor will be a deterrent for couples to separate. Knock knock, open your eyes, you know it’s not.

This is getting tiring. Ang slow ha.

@isa sa milyon milyong… I can see that you really want to get rid of your “marriage” with your husband. At the first place, you should have not entered into it. Yes you are right in saying that the Bible speaks on divorce. I never disagreed with that. I think you can even see that in the post and some comments. However, that is just a provision because of the hardheadedness of man. The main point of the passage is that, God is not glorified with marital conflicts that results in divorce.

The main point Ms. isa sa milyon milyong… is that, people need to go back to what the Bible is saying about the basics of marital relationship and practice it wholeheartedly. Please note that it should happen on both sides, man and woman. Kahit sa side mo, if kung ikaw ang mangangaliwa, it’s basically the same thing. Your husband will want to get rid of you.

I hope you are getting the point of the post. We DO NOT need divorce. We need moral recovery and the desire to go back to what is right.

Lots of people are attacking me personally instead of my views. Some are even trying to discredit me. But believe it or not, I have ministered to a lot of cases like yours already. I know how hard it is and how painful it is. But there’s always hope if the offending party is religiously willing to work it out and the offended party will open their heart for reconciliation. I have seen reconciled marriages, and I also have seen totally wrecked marriages. Hindi po makitid utak ko… Hindi rin sarado mata ko. In fact, it is wide open that’s why I can tell that divorce is NOT a solution to the growing problem of marital separation, divorce and annulment.

Annulment is similar to divorce, yes. But they are not, in totality, the same. Harriet, annulment signifies that a marriage never did happen. It dissolves the marriage completely. Yes, it kinda sound more negative than what most people know about divorce. But there are certain grounds for an annulment be recognized. And it’s far too long to discuss it here. Try and see the Philippines’ family code article 45. Anyhow, divorce also has certain grounds. But there are three, if I’m not mistaken, types of divorce. And one, and the most hideous of the lot, is the no-fault divorce. This type of divorce is what I’m pertaining to when I said in my previous comment that divorce would reduce marriage into a mere sexual permit. I implore you to do your reading about what you’re promoting. You might regret it when it’s finally come at hand and reveals it’s true nature.

You’re not in line with the Vatican as you blatantly ignore the Pope’s request NOT to circumcise children. Hypocrites. Wannabe Americans

I want the divorce bill. And I want it so bad and I cant wait for it. say what you want I dont care.

I badly want the divorce bill also. Divorce Bill is very much ok for people like me who are already separated , living alone, and want to build another family again. it is not self centered, its a helpful way to find my own family and happiness in life. BE OPEN MINDED and BE REALISTIC!!! I some family are not haapy anymore so why live together? just to say that the family is intact? its a lie. a family should be happy, why suffer if your not happy anymore? we are not living in this world to spend a lifetime suffering. so divorce bill is a very helpful answer for a hell life.

The reason why one can easily say that you are self-centered is because we are here to decide about what is good for the entire country, not what is good for you , because of how you look into your personal affairs!!! got it ?

@Pawel… it is not what is good for me… it is what is good for the country which you never get a hold of what we are saying here. The country does not need divorce, it needs moral recovery. Got it??? And please stop the personal attacks. If you do have an opinion, share it let others know it without personally attacking me else if you cannot do that, then it just proves that you are not even analyzing the view so that you can learn from it. And please take note that comments with personal attacks will strictly be sanctioned and weighed if they are worth publishing.

i want to ask if what is the effect of divorce to the people.

Kindly read the article mae. 🙂 Thanks!

everybody wants divorce! Marriage is a contract nd parties should be allowed to dis-contract. U r clearly outnumbered. No-divorce is a mere creation of the church.

The effect of the divorce in our country is so bad that our country cannot hold on it. Others are thinking that marriage is only a contract on papers, but what they feels when the time they were bounded together as one in marriage. It is in the real feeling of Love that makes you inspired. It is a vow of love and devotion that a man trying to convince a woman he is the right man for her and promises of unending love. But now when the wife becomes fat and bulging due to the children and love of husband, A certificate of divorce will be awarded to her.How ungrateful the proponents of this bill are.

Prt. Vince is right!!! we don’t need divorce in our country… all we need is moral recovery… kaya nga ang kasal ay hindi basta-basta..na kung feeling ng isang couple na “ito na ang tamang panahon para magpakasal tayo” ay magpapakasal na kayo. kaya nga po before nagiging mag-asawa ang isang couple ay dumadaan muna sila sa “getting to know you more my love”… naiintindihan ko po kung bakit gusto ng iba ang maging law ang divorce… pero sana naman ho… isipin naman natin ang inang bayan… hindi po siya nabubuhay para lang sa ating mga sariling kagustuhan… sa mga mag-asawa po, lahat naman may solosyun, kung mahinahon po kayo sa pagresolve ng inyong mga problema. para saan pa na nagbuo kayo ng isang pamilya tapos ay bubuwagin ninyo lang dahil sa hindi na kayo masaya sa isa’t isa… sana naman po daanin natin ang lahat sa mabuting usapan at mahinahong paraan… tulad ng turo ng bibliya,,, opinion ko lamang ito…pasensya po sa mga natamaan.. 🙂 ♥♥♥

Needs Moral Recovery ?

You will never pull that off, Only countries that have managed to do anything like that on a national level are Theocracies. Are you suggesting a theocratic government, of course not, as most of us would not care to live in such countries.

What your article doesn’t address is the current status quo. Like the Church is raises a lot of hoop lah, but falls short of any real answer. Your basically demonizing divorce, which I agree isn’t always the best answer, but you don’t address repetitive Infidelity or Dead beat husband/fathers. Hate to tell you this, but morality is pretty set in most individuals by a given age, Educate them while they are young, but for the time being, the cheaters and the dead beats need to be dealt with. Divorce is preferable to being stuck in a marriage like that.

@pastor, i just want you to know, na 4th year student po ako, and it would be a great help, kung malalaman ko po, ang mga sources nyo or yung mga references nyo, i just need it for our debate. kung okay lang po ay bigyan nyo din po ako ng mga sources, Thank you! and GOD BLESS!

Hi Paul!!! I have here a few links. The first one is the divorce rate around the world: http://www.graphs.net/201206/divorce-rates.html http://www.patheos.com/blogs/blackwhiteandgray/2012/05/marriage-and-divorce-statistics/

They are saying that divorce rate in the US has dropped. However, it should also be noted that “marriages” (meaning legal wedding) stats also dropped. I hope you know what that means.

And here’s the stats for violence against women and children: http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html http://www.rainn.org/statistics http://www.tebtebba.org/index.php/content/202-violence-against-indigenous-women-and-girls

Again, here you will see that Divorce NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING EXCEPT for self-gratification that one is free from the legal obligations of marriage, NOTHING ELSE.

It DOES NOT solve violence against women and children. It DOES NOT solve poverty. It DOES NOT solve marital conflicts. It just separates the couple legally, but NOT solve the conflict. IT DOES NOT promote better family. etc.

It allows one to escape from a broken relationship to form another one. But still there’s a HUGE percentage that everything repeats by itself simply because MARRIAGE is NOT A PROBLEM. The main problem is, ungodliness, liberalism, lust, and violence that plagued our society. That’s the reason why we have TONS of domestic problems.

You need to read further study. See what type of Divorce does those countries with high divorce rates have. Divorce on demand or Divorce on default? Big difference between the two. This is a hypocritical view on the issue. This does not make any reference to the proposed ground and process to get divorce. Don’t mislead by giving wrong information. Read the bill first and make your analysis from there since that is the issue, not your view on divorce.

How about analyzing it yourself and answer my questions: 1. Did divorce stopped or at least decreased cases of violence against women and children? 2. How did divorce helped solved poverty? 3. How did divorce helped both parties (husband and wife) became better person after divorce?

You know, I can give you a lot of questions used by most of these proponents, but please help me get some results before you tell me I have the wrong information.

You stand for god? what about the rape of lives the church has hidden all these years…I riches church on earth. So guess you will be spending the money in hell..

I super like! tirahin mo pa tong mga hypocrites na to. Kala mo kung magsalita sila eh may magagawa sila sa bansa. eh for the country kuno sila di naman nila mapakain ang country dahil ang pera nila eh pra lang sa church nila! tas anti divorce sila eh di naman nila ma comfort ang mga couples na di na nga pwedeng maging couples dahim meron nang irreconcilable difference. Eh kung ang babae naging punching bag na at di na masaya so kailangan naka stick pa rin sa lalaki dahil pinag isa sila ng dyos? kagaguhan!

@Ivy, I think you are out of your league. You should respect the opinion of other people. The next time you post a comment like this, I will block you out of this blog. This blog is a religious blog and you should respect it. Nobody is acting as hypocrite here. If you cannot accept the opinion of others, go and search a pro-divorce blog and there express your opinion and probably your emotion. Furthermore, refrain from attacking other people verbally. Post your opinion, not your anger for the anti divorce. After all, you probably have had so much anger from your experiences in relationship.

I will only tolerate this once to make an example of non-helpful comments. Your other comment has already been turned down and deleted. Hope you understand and learn to respect other people’s opinion.

You are right god did not ordain man to have a divorce, it is the wishes of man, but reading further, he did not imposed his will but let the people have their own, because god is not a dictator, at the end he will punish those who committed transgression against him. Divorce in my opinion is an option for marriages that cannot be further reconciled by both parties, specially if parties are no longer respecting one another and has totally there marital obligations to one another. It can be used against those couple who were forced to marry a person he/she really did not wanted in the first place to marry. It has pro’s and con’s, immorality is all over the place, but just like any issues in life and politics, the person must be given that option, and deny him not that option. Because at the end of the day, God will punish us for the sins with committed against him, not by the sins of others, for it is written the sins of the parents cannot pass it their children. Others may revoke me and insist that god look into the sins of the generation who has committed it unto the 7th generation (pardon me if i cannot totally cite the version in verbatim), if in case, i may answer it before hand, to what generation and people did he told it?, those it include the generations of today?, I firmly believe that God is a just God, and he will measure us to deeds that we made, again, not by other people. God is just and he is not a dictator, he wanted his people to obey him voluntarily, if this was not the intend he should have not send his only son to redeem and save those who believe in him.

i’m respecting your feelings, but don’t think for this in wrong way.divorce is divorce.god doesn’t want it.END OF QUOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am married to a guy who is a drug addict and irresponsible. No job, hobbies are sleeping with bitches, habitual lying, stealing my own money which i worked really hard for us to have food in our table. We almost got arrested becoz of him coz he is a drug dealer. i gave everything, even more.. .coz i used to believe still have the chance to change.. .but being with his mistress now, never showed up after he got out the rehab, going back to drugs, bringing that girl in our room, hiding our wedding picture? isn’t it too much? is it not being immoral? i am young and a brighter future ahead of me. should i just let the marriage destroy my life and choose to stay with that type of person? come on guys, let’s be sensitive to the feelings of others. we don’t have a perfect marriage like everyone has.

people never knew how hard to be in that situation… they can only judge what is right or wrong… wish one of their family will experience it… destroying women’s life… men are allowed to do bad things…and women must live to their bad luck… men can do immoral things which is accepted by the everybody, then the woman must wait until the man will change… do u think there would be a chance to a man who is enjoying exploiting his wife? i don’t think so… no one will pay his gambling, his addiction, and support his mistresses…

in the case of abuse, God will allow divorce. but of course, again, God didn’t want divorce in the first place. it is because of the hardness of men’s heart that God allows this. God cries when man and wife can’t reconcile. It’s usually because of selfishness and inability to commit to right behavior.

reason why i would want a divorce i want to live happily for the rest of my life not the person that i married because of the likes of my parents thats why the court must agree with the divorce here in the philippines

it is man’s moral duty and obligation to know and till the truth.. the truth that divorce destroy the morality of man.

divorce cannot destroy the morality of man. It is man who destroys its morality.

I agree with you Mae, and I am pro divorce, I happen to find this blog because I’m hardly looking for the best solution for my parent’s problem, last night they were in fighting again, it’s an unending drama at home where my papa always hits my mama on the face or anywhere that in her body, since I was young at age 3 I have always seen them fighting brutally, I love my mother and she have tried everything already to find solution to this problem, there’s the time when we go to the doctor and have a medicolegal report after their fight as my mom’s body was full of bruises, and wounds, that’s not only happened at once, today was our 4th time we did it but maybe will be the second time that my mother will file a case against my father…I hate my father, really hate him, so if it’s divorce will be an answer to all women who have the same problem, I would be glad to say YES to it! divorce is a freedom for me, a freedom that every suffering women would rather like to have than legal separation.

Hmmm… your dad should really go to jail. I am anti divorce, but I am not proposing that when a man is battering his wife, the wife should stick to his husband. You should pursue your case against your father if that’s the case. Do not hesitate to do it.

About divorce as a law, it may allow you to scape your problem, but it does not resolve any of it. Your father has to go to jail, because his violent treatment to your mom is a form of abuse which has to be dealt by the law, and that can be done even without divorce.

Well, let’s say that the wife already filed a case against her husband, it could only be slight physical injuries to less serious physical injuries. But in the case of Emmanuel’s mother, since she had only had minor bruises and wounds it might have been slight physical injuries (physical injuries which incapacitated the offended party for labor from one to nine days or required medical attendance during the same period) which is punishable by arresto mayor or a minimum of 1 month and a maximum of 6 months and that’s according to Sec. 6a of Republic Act No. 9262 (Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004). And if the husband is already in jail and even if he is sent free after 6 months, why is there still a need for them to be married? They have physically, d emotionally and psychologically hurt each other and yet they are still committed to each other because of “bonds” of marriage. Divorce is not only for people to have freedom to look for another husband or wife or “freedom to try marriage” but it is also freedom from all the physical, emotional and psychological pain that troubled relationships bring to each party. And marrying after a divorce is ONLY an OPTION. And that because you have that OPTION, you will take advantage of it. Of course, we all have our personal values and philosophies in life and you will always consider these in making major decisions in life. So I guess this also answers your argument that divorce will bring down the moral standards of the Filipinos because at the end of the day, a person should stick to his personal values and beliefs whether we have divorce or not.

What happens with women who suffer from abuse by their husbands? they don’t have the right to be free? Anyone who supports your point of view is nothing but a monkey. So narrow-minded. It were Spanish whom gave you Christian religion, so if those hadn’t ever gone to that island, what would have been your ‘culture’ like? I don’t know why all this theather and acting , for all these years I’ve come to realise you are one of the most hypocrite people in this world….c’mon, you always try to evangelize everything and look like saints BUT it’s is know worldwide PH has one of the highest number of prostitution, girls engage in sexual activity on average at the age of 12 and you also have those old women in the HIGHEST part of society (they are supposed to be a pure role model to be followed by the female youth) who acknowledge themselves as a Saint Virgin to her public face, meanwhile they are using her money to buy young men and have sex. Why? because divorce is not allowed. But something tells me, that even if it was allowed, the situation still stinks. As all these things are CLASHING with CATHOLIC MORAL. So please, stop pretending you have something to be proud of. You know, a little bit of self-criticism doesn’t harm, it isn’t like if you were the chosen ones in this huge world, is it? Peace.

thats a good article u wrote, alot of people dont thing and want to punish a woman by making her go thru an annulment and making her get a mental doctor test. thats pure crazi where half of the philippino population is separated, and also u have to know that catholic religion is not christain, but philippino congress doesnt care about progress of philippinos only there pocket, if the congress did they would of pass the law for divorce without going thru all the hassles and all those outrageous fees and takes forever

This is a democratic country, and I’m speaking to this Pastor who had been saying no to divorce. If you don’t want any law to be passed, then go and find yourself another country. We should respect each other’s view and opinions. If the Divorce law pass then it is the will of the majority. This pastor just want himself to be seen a holy man, so why don’t you focus on the corrupt officials as well? Put yourself in harm’s way for the sake of the people and not just on this Divorce Bill. If you don’t want it then be a martyr for yourself. You don’t have the right to to say too much against the bill, are you saying that you’re the best mind to be followed? If it pass then accept it, it’s the will of the majority of the people.

“This is a democratic country, and I’m speaking to this Pastor who had been saying no to divorce. If you don’t want any law to be passed, then go and find yourself another country. We should respect each other’s view and opinions.” — I don’t see any respect of opinion from you on your side and you are also speaking against yourself when you just stated this is a democratic country?

“This pastor just want himself to be seen a holy man, so why don’t you focus on the corrupt officials as well?” – Why work on personal attacks??? To be seen and to work on holiness, isn’t that what should every Christian do? As what the Bible says; “Be holy for I am holy (Lev. 20:26, 1 Pet1;16)” “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. (Eph.4:1)” Please note that Apostle Paul is not even referring just to me, but for “EVERY” Christian. So….. State your opinion on the matter.

“You don’t have the right to to say too much against the bill, are you saying that you’re the best mind to be followed?” — I thought you just said we are in a democratic country and we should respect each others opinion?

“If it pass then accept it, it’s the will of the majority of the people.” — The problem is, it hasn’t been passed. And if it will be passed, rest assuredly my respect will be on it, but it doesn’t mean I am switching side. But for now that it hasn’t been passed, my article is my argument why should it not be passed.

STOP your personal attacks and go to your point “Why should we approve of divorce”. Plain and simple. I am not claiming to be an intelligent person, and perhaps you are by FAR more intelligent than me (ONLY that you don’t know how to state your arguments and instead resolved yourself from attacking me personally). But I am voicing what the Bible say about morality and divorce. After all… this is a “democratic country”.

You have an argument there, but then not everyone in the country thinks the same way you do about divorce. You mentioned that “For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce.” I’m sure that you, like many other people, will agree for divorce once your marriage goes haywire. More importantly, divorce is not forced upon anyone who experiences domestic problems. It is a choice. Not all divorced people will attempt to do it again and again. Divorce may be the solution, and if other people choose to abuse this right, then it is in their conscience and faith, not yours.

I’m guessing the people who are against divorce are in a happy marriage or never have been married. I hope that they will never experience anything like an unhappy marriage, it is absolutely one of the worst things in the World to happen to a couple (family). When 2 people are no longer seeing eye to eye it is time to separate or divorce….as terrible as that may sound.

I’m not sure where this person is getting his facts from, but anyone can write misleading information just to get what he wants. There are good & bad sides to all things in life. We are all here for only a short time (life). We will all make many mistakes & hopefully learn from the mistakes we make.

I feel their is no right or wrong answer to this problem, but being a divorced Man myself I can say that not only am I a happier person….so is my Ex Wife. Yes the children & Family structure will suffer (sorry to say), but I have seen some terrible children coming from Families that have stayed together in a loveless marriage.

So to stay together to work things out, sometimes you just can’t work things out. Divorce is necessary as is Marriage. No right or wrong answer. on this topic. Everyone trying to fight the good fight….who will win & who will lose. Divorce is to generate money to the economy…..so be prepared for divorce to take over very soon.

Good luck to all those happily married Families…..

my kakilala akong couple na nagpakasal lang dhl gusto lang ng babae na kmha ng bahay so nagpakasal sila pero after ilang years hnd na sila magkasundo panay insulto nung babae sa asawa at wala pa silang anak.Kaya pag legal na ang divorced d2 sa pilipinas hihiwalayan daw niya.hnd nmn lht ng babae ang naaapi d2 pati lalaki.

I don’t understand why God would want to preserve a loveless marriage when its more harmful to keep the marriage intact than for the marriage bond to be severed.

I’m sorry but everytime I hear an argument that begins with, “It is not what God wants”, my ears fall off and my eyes go blind. How can we be so certain what God wants? Are you really that superior than everybody else because you know what God wants? Are you God’s prophet now? At the end of the day, we are all accountable to Him, it’s not up to someone claiming to know absolutely what God wants.

We should just open our hearts and minds to people who are suffering, that is what Jesus would have done, and any Christian for that matter would have done. Let us not impose our “superior moral values” to others. Respect other people’s decision. You are not in the position to judge whether what they are doing is immoral or moral because you did not experience the suffering and pain that person went through. Respect!

@Ptr. Vince, Do you know anyone personally who committed suicide because their parents are divorced? My cousin and his brother and sister is perfectly fine, my Aunt who had been separated from her husband had been working more eagerly to help her children and her to rise, and they’re far more richer than us who have parents who’s staying together. And I know a lot of people who have divorced parents and they’re perfectly fine, academics, socially, everything. These statistics are biased.

@Kailee, Oh yes…

Good for your aunt. But it doesn’t mean that the situation of your aunt is the same with other people. And please don’t ask me if I know people who have been to deep poverty because their parents have been separated, because I do know people.

If the statistics are biased, can you cite “statistics” that are not biased? Perhaps you can send us the link. Thanks in advanced.

mabuhay po tayo ng naaayon sa kagustuhan ng DIYOS hindi yung naaayon sa kagustuhan ng tao…

ang taong nabubuhay ng walang DIYOS.. ay ang mga taong hindi makakamit ang TUNAY NA KALIGAYAHAN.

opo may mga problema tayo pero hindi ibig sabihin nun susuko na tayo..

gawin natin yung mga bagay na alam nating kaya natin at ipagpasa diyos na po natin ang lahat..

JUST TRUST GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART .. HE WILL MAKE A WAY FOR YOU.

Sir, Anim na taon ako sa abroad, pagguwi ko after six years may kinakasama na ang asawa kong babae na sinupurtahan ko ng pawis at dugo sa pagtatrabaho sa abroad, wala ako naipon, lahat pinadala ko para maitaguyod at mabigyang magandang bukas ang pamilya ko…pero etu ang mapait na nangyari sa akin….lawakan nyu po ang isip nyu. hindi etu tungkol sa diyos or sa morality or kung anu pa man na bagay. lahat tyo po ay may karapatang lumigaya. I have also my right for the pursuit of my own happiness. SANA IPATUPAD NA ANG DEVORCE BILL

The world is full of fools and faint hearts; and yet surprisingly everyone has courage enough to speak about the misfortunes of others, and wise enough to manage the affairs, of his neighbors.

I’m really feel so sorry about your experience… And I myself is saddened with these kinds of stories. You are not alone. There are lots of people who have this kind of experience.

Nonetheless, for those of you who are in abroad, or is planning to go abroad, we counselors never and do not advise that you go abroad alone. Bring your wife with you. Go and work together rather than working in abroad alone. As much as possible, work in the same country and stay at the same place. Family comes first money will follow.

You see Jojo, some things happen in our lives because of wrong decisions. Do not make another wrong decisions as a result of the first. I hope you will be thinking deeper.

I understand clearly your hurts. But divorce is never been a pro-family. I can see that you love your family but what you hate so much is what your wife did. Divorce will never be the answer for your hurts.

then what’s is the answer to his pain? never kayong advice na to go abroad? is that a realistic situation? knowing that most of Filipino ang mga ama nasa abroad while nasa bahay ang mga ina nag aalaga ng mga anak. dalhin ang pamilya sa abroad? pwede ba yun? usually nasa mid east yung tatay ang knwoing walang family immigration duon. if you never advice to go abroad alone then you don’t know the real Filipino family settings. there was one point that you cited that many children commit suicide because of broken family? may statistical facts ka ba? as a worker in dept of health parang wala namang stats na maraming bata or teenagers nag cocommit ng suicide? hindi realistic ang mga adices mo ang kahit isang point walang kang natumbok sorry to say. your aices is not actual nor factual. i am against divorce but the way i see how you tackle the issues of those people who come for your advice kahit they see you as someone who knows a lot,as you project it, but walang clear na helping point na kahit maging basihan man lang nila sa future decisions nila. sorry but the more you write here the more you sell yourself and the anti-divorce campaign. wag kag pikon pastor =)

@Friday…. Hmmm… you seem very knowledgeable in your comment… So what do you do to make it the situation more realistic since my advice as you say is “not realistic”? At ano naman kaya para sayo ang “katumbok tumbok”? What then can you give that are “actual” or at least “factual”?

Sorry Friday, but if you just commented for the sake na makapambastos ka, well, your future comments will be deleted. On the other hand, please make some comments that are “actual” and “factual”. 😉 This is a place for serious talk… not a bystander’s talk. 😉 I hope hindi ka rin pikon… Your future comments if it will not add to the value of subject matter and instead you will be insulting me or anyone else in this thread, will be deleted. So please add value to it.

Sorry for public rebuke. But really, don’t bother to post “senseless – personal attack” comments again, because you will never see it published. You will just waste your time.

If you are pro… explain why… If you are anti… explain why. It will be accepted. But if you will post insulting remarks and personal attacks, you are the one selling yourself. Wag ka ring pikon sana. 🙂 Blessings!

Its amazing that for all your words that each one amount to how stupid you are… Take your wife with you, dont make me laugh, the last time I remember he work aboard because you dont have jobs there in the philipines. So after 20 years on working abroad to support his family and while the wife is there with man in his house spending his money, eat his food and lying in the bed with his wife, all you can say is “I am sadden by that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wake up and stop drink the wine, so the man comes back now and all is forgive and now hes happy life goes on. Wow only a fool would say that and I hope he read this. Jojo that is the most and worst kind of this disrespect a man can get. I am for divorce and you are a good case. remember this man of God here want say that your kids are in the next room listen to there mom disrepect dad each nite while you are working hard to support them.

Stupid? Is it really stupid to desire to bring your wife abroad? Well, I think it will be more stupid if you will not even try it. I know many couples who did went abroad together and have been very successful in their marriages as well as in financial terms. Well… if you are really thinking that it is impossible and don’t even want to try it, then you are far more stupid than me.

Infidelity happens for various reasons. But these are the common reasons: 1. One of the spouse or both do not love each other anymore because of differences. 2. One spouse was tempted because the partner is far and is no longer feeling the love and filling in the need of each other . This is the case of many OFW’s. 3. One of the spouse was tempted because of the lack of moral convictions where most of you guys despise the church for pursuing the “moral standards”.

There could be more reasons… but these are the most common. Tell me, are these things really UNAVOIDABLE??? Now, if you are calling it “STUPID”, then I really don’t know what kind of thinking you have.

All of us are experts at practicing virtue at a distance !!!! Everyone are so judgemental !!! nakakatawa kau lahat! wala kasi kau sa kalagayan ng mga taong may problema sa “MARRIAGE” na kanilang pinasok. All people has its own circumstances. Wala kayung karapatan mang husga. Everybody has the right for the pursuit of their own happiness. Huwag niyo ng isama ang Diyos dito or ang morality.

The world is full of fools and faint hearts; and yet everyone has enough courage to speak about the misfortunes of others, and wise enough to manage the affairs, of his neighbors. “

@John, I really don’t see any kind of “panghuhusga” dito. If it is “panghuhusga” to say that “we need to save our marriage.” , “we need to value our marriage”, then alin ba dito ang hindi panghuhusga? People commit mistakes… that’s normal. But for the anti-divorce side, what we are just saying is we need to value family, value our marriages. It is actually an encouragement for us to have a better family.

” Huwag niyo ng isama ang Diyos dito or ang morality.” – Hmmm…. I guess I already have answered this. Why are we continuously disqualifying moral standards and God in this issue???? I really don’t get it…

God and his moral standards are the basis of a strong marriage and family relationship. The divorce issue is NOT just a social issue my friend, it is more than that. It is a “moral issue” it is a “Biblical issue”, it is a “Cultural Issue” and it is a “Filipino values” issue.

What I am saying is…. we can never disqualify God and moral standards in tackling this issue.

Tomo!!! We have to make the right decisions. Right decisions can only be achieved if, and only if, we would make our stand with God. Many people are making themselves fool by making a decision outside God’s teaching, then when they had experienced difficulties in the situations would blame God. Does God wants you to make that decision? No! It’s you who made that. I could say that, before enter any relationship esp. “marriage” (which is a lifetime decision), think over and over, and over again…not just on emotional aspect but have to look in all aspects esp. spiritual aspect of the person you want to marry. In addition, I think those people who do not want to talk about morality…do not really care if they will have a broken family and worst, that they don’t care if their children will have a broken family in the future. These people would really be pro-divorce! But if you want a lasting and happy married life..you would surely be anti-divorce. It’s just making the right choice of the person from the start. Just to reiterate, that person must be godly..must be God-fearing and God-loving person and you would be happy… 🙂

Every argument stated has something to do with morality, is it the FILIPINO way to be a wife battering, cheating man in the Philippines? Where was God when these women were taken out of their rights to live a happy life? God gives us choices and we have to make the right decision. Even the church believes in reconciliation, which is basically asking for a second chance. If Catholicism was so great we should trust it’s teachings and wouldn’t be afraid even if divorce was legalized. Saying no to it, just proves that Catholicism is against becoming modern because it will just prove themselves wrong yet again.

The philippine law gives alternative of separation like legal separation and annulment, does it really important to have divorce? Isn’t it more important for two people to separate than pass this divorce bill? If the divorce bill will be passed, i do not think the philippines is ready for it, because mostly filipinos are catholic and not just that, most of them are conservative too, whether or not you like it.

and how can divorce be prevention of the increase in population if a person can leave his kids, remarry again and have children again? come on, it is not that hard…

You may want to consider reading my position on the matter based on legal, philosophical, societal, and Christian perspectives in http://www.ayoungchristianwoman.com/?p=339 .

the 1st victim of divorce are the siblings of the couple!

think pls what if one of thé persons hurt thé other person bad so you mean stay together and hurt eachother more so it will be better come out of your fake dream and be real pls sometimes people het married for thé wrong reasons so they have to het out of it so stop hiding behind a bible and come to reality i wonder if this msg will be printend hope to hear from you

I think I already have answered this example. Kindly read the previous comments. Thanks!

What I don’t understand here however, is that there are people who says they are “Christians” and they believe in the Bible, “YET” wants me to take away the Bible for this discussion.

Divorce, brethren is not JUST a “SOCIAL” issue… it is a “MORAL” issue where the Bible should be the basis of morality? Right??? Else, taking out the Bible of the picture will be like putting out the BASIS of MORALITY. Tell me, why should I put out the Bible out of the picture?

Is it because the Bible is a “FANCY” representation and is almost a FICTION? Get over it guys… It is the basis of morality and it directs us in identifying what is right and what is wrong. Unfortunately, the Bible says Divorce is wrong… Sorry guys!!!

Let me give you a challenge, why not follow the Bible, do what it says…. everyone of you who wants divorce. Let me give you a verse, Ephesians 5:22-33… Live it out for at least 2 years. Then come back to this post and tell me what happens to your marriage.

Oh… you got to try that first and do everything you can to fulfill it. It is only then you will get your answer if you really need divorce. If it will not work out your marriage, please come back to this post and tell me that you MUST have it.

Want reality??? This is reality… this is what life is…

If you cannot do my challenge… it simply means that you “DO NOT” want reality…. you want to escape from the reality that marriage indeed in MOST cases can be saved. You just don’t want to have any effort for it.

Pastor Vince, with all due respect, Divorce is not about God, its not about morality, its about having a choice..being free to choose…to have the right to the pursuit of our own happiness…to protect oneself from the harms and dangers of marriage..from battering husband to the unfaithful wife..to the irresponsible man etcetera…everyone has a choice.

Jojo, Once again, I would like to express my sympathy to what happened in your life. But you are wrong in saying “it’s not about God, it’s not about morality”. Family was instituted by God, where he created man and woman to become one. God owns the family. The family was not created just for you to be happy, but to glorify God. But sin creeps in and destroys family.

God instituted moral standards so that we can be guided on what we should do to keep that family. But again, it was the sin that continuously disagree and disqualify the moral standards.

I will give you a hint; what if your wife kept the good moral standard? What if she did not do it and she had been very faithful to you and to your family? Do you think you will grieve? Do you think you will say that you want to divorce your wife? I guess the answer will be “NO”? Why? Because she kept her promise, she kept that morality that you disqualify to be the basis.

So tell me, is it not really about good morality? Is not really about God?

Godly family makes a happy family. If husband and wife follow what God said, there will be no divorce, no unfaithfulness, no separation. And I think we ourselves need to focus in that area.

Believe me Jojo, even if you get divorced, if you yourself or your next wife does not follow the moral standards, you will always end up in grief and your family destroyed. That’s the reason why you will see lots of people (Americans, Europeans, etc) who have been divorced several times, and until now was not able to find the happiness that they are looking in the family.

If you want to be happy on marriage, follow the moral standards from the Bible, teach and lead your wife to do the same. If you are single, get a religious wife who does the have a high moral values especially about family, and you will have a happy family. 🙂

I do hope you will get a better picture of what family is all about. God bless!

If you really love one another, you will remain together loving each other forever. Divorce is only an option for those people who are into a very complicated situation. I guess it will be more sef centered if you will only think of your opinion because you’re lucky enough to find a partner who’s willing to spend the rest of his/her life with you no matter what. And I believe it is not fair to focus only on one idea without considering other ideas. Besides, you don’t need to fear for the presence of divorce in our law if you believe there’s love, trust, and respect in your marriage. I believe everybody deserve to find someone whom they can spend the rest of their lives peacefully and content.

FOR A GUY WHO SPEAKS OF GOD AND CHRISTIANITY, YOU PISS ME OFF.

At least understand what you’re talking about before making stupid claims without proof. And if you plan on providing perspectives from both sides, you’d better stay away from being prejudiced in the first place, and stay way away from being sarcastic. Dude come on. I have nothing against contradicting divorce. But if you plan on convincing people, I’d rather have someone else do it. Cause you’re reasoning, besides being completely narrow and prejudiced towards others (which is in the Bible NOT TO, see GOOD SAMARITAN), is completely disorganized and weak.

You make the Church look like an idiot. DUDE COME ON. PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, OR DON’T PREACH AT ALL. I don’t mean to be hating, BUT COME ON.

@Raffy aka Juan De La Cruz

I did my assignment, and did some study about the issue… I certainly understand what I am talking. And I do practice what I preach and that’s why I am anti-divorce, because the Bible is always anti-divorce. You should read it so that your wisdom about the issue will grow.

I don’t make the Church look like an idiot. It is only you who wants divorce that makes the church an idiot. The Church and the Scriptures will stand in its moral standards.

Who’s narrow minded? Is it he who studied the issue and stand for what is upright and practice what he preaches? Or is he who keeps on babbling and hating other people’s stand without even studying and completely understanding why he is doing it???

I did my research too Ptr. Vince. I apologize for the excessive language used, sincerely.

But sir, if you indeed did the research on the topic, you have failed to balance out the argument by providing the side of pro-divorce, and then contesting it. I’m Christian also, I know what I’m talking about. I’m just saying, for a an article from the Church’s point of view, this article did not work for me.

This was inappropriate: It would’ve been better if you didn’t post this. Its an insult to the people who really do think about whether it works or doesn’t work.

Here’s the summary of the advantages of divorce:

* Spouses will have a “second chance” for a happier life. * Spouses will have a “second chance” for a non-violent life. * …. “second chance” * …. “second chance” * …. “second chance” * to be happy… * to be happy… * to be happy….

My goodness… is there any solid advantages of divorce bill than being self-centered and selfish reasons??? What about your family??? What about your children??? That’s what family is for… Divorce is not only anti-Filipino, but is anti-Family and anti-marriages. It simply opens a wide range of disadvantages over the family.

This does not look like it came for research. You researched on one side of the coin, or have chosen not to provide the other side of the argument.

I’m not pro, nor am I against it, that is why I’m researching. Other articles have formed sound points about the issue, by keeping calm, by exerting effort not to sound all high-and-mighty. This article would’ve been more effective if the basis of the argument wasn’t on one-click American Divorce Stats found on every generic internet site, and if it wasn’t too Bible centric without the, If it too actually did talk more about modern day situations and contexts of the Filipino people.

For an open mind, this was a very closed argument.

I’m sorry for the previous comment, it was also too, uncalled for.

I mean no offense, I just needed to voice out an opinion.

@Raffy, I really do not see anything inappropriate in my post. If you only read the title, this is “An Anti-Divorce Stand” and therefore, you should expect that I already have put my decision to support anti-divorce, after all, I am a moralist.

I have seen all these debates…. and articles about it…. what else should I need to learn from the bill? It has its pros and cons… unfortunately, on the moralist point of view (like me) it far outweighs the disadvantages that we can get from its advantages.

Raffy, life is not just about happiness, but it is about obedience to the Scriptures and to the Lord. No theologian will ever stand that divorce is God’s will.

You call it “an insult to the people who thinks if it works or not”, but did you ever think that the law itself is also an insult to the Christian faith? I am simply expressing my stand about it, so as the pro-divorce on their side. But the question is, did I insult those people? Nope, I think not. I am simply rebuking them especially that I belong to the religious sector.

My challenge is very simple for those pro-divorce people, present us “REAL ADVANTAGES” where people can have long lasting benefit from this law where families will be united, where families will be settled, where families will be fed, where families will be nurtured. If they can present that, then I would probably change my mind.

But as for now, I see divorce as: – anti-family – anti-morality – anti-Christianity – and anti-Filipino

They said it protects the children… if so, then why is there so many cases of suicide among broken families? They said it protects the women… if so, then why is there still so many cases of violence against women? They said it gives you freedom… then why is it that there are so many cases of multiple divorces? What freedom do you need? They said it is pro-family… but why is unfaithfulness became so rampant and cheating from their spouses has become a norm?

Raffy, divorce is NOT a solution. The solution is fear of God, and in-depth moral values. Read the Bible and it will teach you that you need to love your wife as you love yourself, so as for the wife should respect her husband (Ephesians 5). If these teachings will only be followed and be taught, and be lived out by each Filipino couple, you can expect a radical change of life. The true key to successful marriages is in the Bible. This has been the key since the ancient times, even so will it remain to our modern times. This principle never fades no matter how you viewed it.

Sometimes we are very skeptic against the Bible, simply because we are not willing to follow what it say and we think that reading it is NOT “IN” in our generation. That quoting Biblical insights is overly reacting and a stupid way of reasoning, and is being close minded…. No Raffy, the Bible gives a lot of solutions to our problems. Why don’t you try it? Read it, study it, and live it… after a year come back to this site and tell me if there is a change in your life.

By the way, you should understand that my website is a “Religious” website not a “Legal” and generic opinion website. It is a God-centered and Bible-centered website. It’s goal is to teach and to disciple, and influence people by God’s word… But of course, it is up to the people if they accept the Bible teachings or not. So, please, don’t expect that this will talk something good about immoralities even if it is legal.

Don’t expect that this website will say, Lotto is good because it is legal… nor “divorce is a solution” when it does not build families. You should know that. If you are really looking for a view of pro-divorce, then you can find lot over the net. This website is only one of the FEW who openly express that WE ARE ANTI-DIVORCE .

I accept your apologies. No offense taken.

Abuse to women and children always they say when they talk about divorce but did they ever consider the feelings and emotion of the affected couple or family. Deciding to divorce is not that easy they need to consider many things if they are just living together without love is more pathetic because living together but having a having a relationship to other person are more sinful to the eye of God than separating and just move on. And when i read this part of article which state this “For example, there is a an abusive husband who have been divorced by his wife. This husband will then just look for another woman to abuse. While the woman if she’s the one having some problems, she will just look for another guy and if things will not get well, all she has to do is to apply again for divorce. Ridiculous isn’t it? It is just a picture of FREEDOM TO TRY MARRIAGE.” I think the husband is not a Husband his was an abuser his not looking for love but for lust and abuse. Who was a damn man who’s from divorced will enter in a relationship just the same what he entered, of course he will choose a better relationship than he had the last time. And who’s this damn Woman that will marry a man which she knows is abusive. I think divorce had a bad and good effect to our Country bad in the part that we are a christian and family oriented country good in part that we will still live a second chance and move on living in a better relationship.. and please explained about the woman in the bible having a 7 husband.

This comment’s absolutely right. On my part, though, I don’t mind the fact it’s Bible-centric, to use your term above, as long as it presented EVERYTHING the Bible states about divorce. The Bible DOES have a provision for divorce but only on the grounds of infidelity/fornication and abandonment, espcially between a believer and unbeliever.

I totally agree with you Pastor Vince. I am Anti-Divorce. I am married and my husband and I love each other faithfully. Though people try to criticize our relationship because of our age gap, but I don’t care because all I know God gave him to me. Like other marriages, we’ve encountered challenges, problems and issues in our marriage but we openly talked with each other our feelings, and dislikes in a right manner, then we forgave each other and moved on. Prayer, love and understanding are the important things to have a strong relationship. Divorce doesn’t help to solve problems but it teaches immorality which contradicts to the principles of the Bible. Being an Anti- divorce it doesn’t mean I am hindering the prosperity of our country but NO! Divorce bill doesn’t help the property of our country.

BOO!!! try to grow up people….

mga bro & sisters, tin is right.phirap ng phirap ang pinas at lhat n lng ng nging presidente dto ay isinisisi ang khirapan. yet ayaw nman mg-control ng bwat pamilya. f sarado ang mga isip,values at kung anu-ano p ng mga pilipino s gnyang mga batas n gustong ipatupad ng ating mga mambbtas, wg n taung umasa n mkkbangon p ang ating bansa,,,,,try to look around, observe, evaluate and most of all “THINK”…..i’m a catholic, but then i’m not againts rh bill and divorce law…

hmmm what do you think? is philippines ready for selective divorce?

@cristine… I think nope.

Ella says: September 22, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Tomo!!! We have to make the right decisions. Right decisions can only be achieved if, and only if, we would make our stand with God. Many people are making themselves fool by making a decision outside God’s teaching, then when they had experienced difficulties in the situations would blame God. Does God wants you to make that decision? No! It’s you who made that. I could say that, before enter any relationship esp. “marriage” (which is a lifetime decision), think over and over, and over again…not just on emotional aspect but have to look in all aspects esp. spiritual aspect of the person you want to marry. In addition, I think those people who do not want to talk about morality…do not really care if they will have a broken family and worst, that they don’t care if their children will have a broken family in the future. These people would really be pro-divorce! But if you want a lasting and happy married life..you would surely be anti-divorce. It’s just making the right choice of the person from the start. Just to reiterate, that person must be godly..must be God-fearing and God-loving person and you would be happy… 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

People, Filipinos, nowadays lose their hope for our country and that, as I see it, is the second worst problem of our country — having the lack of discipline as the first. I, for, one, is not a hypocrite of my words. A lot of times people look at me as if I’m crazy, not crossing morayta on a green light, but I’m just abiding the laws and being a responsible citizen and people think and see me stupid. I really hope that you guys would not give hope up for our country. I’m far more qualified to go and work abroad but I stayed because I know that my people need me more. I stayed because I believe that with some aide, Filipinos would see that our country still has IT, we have hope still.

Divorce is one heavy subject to discuss. But as I see it, divorce would not help our country. Family is the basic unit of the society and divorce has the tendency to lower the foundation of a family. And a weak foundation of a family reflects a weak foundation of a society, more so, a nation.

Divorce is basically a broken vow. I value my words, my promises to people around me. But what I value more is my promise to God. The vows we say on our wedding days is not just a vow we make to the person before us but also a vow we make before our God.

Divorce would not serve a solution to marital problems but an escape-route. Marriage is not a game where you could try again when you lose, it’s a SERIOUS COMMITMENT. Don’t start a relationship if you don’t intend it to last, more so, don’t go into marriage if you’re not to keep it. I value relationships greatly — friendship, kinship or whatever relation that is, even rivalry. One should give time to know his partner well before going into marriage. Rushing things up never yields a good result. With divorce, marriage will lose its meaning. Marriage is not just a piece of paper, marriage is waaaaaaay far more than a piece of paper. THIS IS TO SAY THAT PREVENTION IS BETTER THAT CURE. But is some inevitable cases, wherein people are already in marriage and facing a whole deal of a problem, here’s my answer to that. “A LOCKSMITH WOULD NOT MAKE A LOCK WITHOUT A KEY, AS GOD WOULD NOT GIVE PROBLEM WITHOUT A SOLUTION.” All problems has a solution. If it doesn’t, then it’s not a problem. As I to what I’ve said earlier, divorce does not serve a solution but a escape-route. Let’s us say that one managed to be divorced from an abusive partner then remarried. Having divorce as an option would promote escapism. With a smallest of a problem couple might resort to divorce and not try to solve their problems as loving and responsible partners would do. Then again, marriage will lose it’s meaning. Marriage will just turn into a piece of paper that will legalize marital act such as making love or having sex, a mere sexual permit.

As a matter of fact, studies tell that the global recession that started in the mighty USA was a result of divorce. If the basic unit of the society is not properly oriented, how would the whole nation be? Divorce then, posed as a threat to a country as mighty as the USA. Imagine what divorce would do in our society, the Philippines. It would certainly be tragic, devastating, even obliterating.

Anyhow, that is just my opinion. I’m not forcing my idea to anyone. Although, most people who had heard my reasoning towards divorce, even those who are promoting it, had a change of heart. They saw my arguments are not just Biblical as most Con-divorce are. I’m rational. And with my reputation with my colleagues, they cannot argue.

Check out this video about the Divorce Bill. Really interesting! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LsO00rq2ec

Hahaha… the video is nice to watch… But it was more like a joke as far as I am the one who’s watching it.

In the video, it flashes the causes of legal separation/ annulment application. Unfortunately, the fact remains…. DIVORCE CANNOT SOLVE THEM!!!

Divorce is like this: We have a disease in the body. And in order to take away that disease, we need to get rid of the body.

When we are united, we become one… so the body represents the marriage relationship. But it suffering from a disease. It has to be cured. It has to be treated. But instead of doing it, we want to destroy that body just to get rid of the disease.

Divorce DOESN’T BRING CHANGE. If it does, hundreds of thousands of couples in the world, even millions would have a better life. But no… another BIG FACT: LIFE GETS WORST!

Ang Divorce Bill ay isa sa pinaka walang kwentang batas dahil ito ay HINDI nagsosolve sa totoong problema. It tears down the basic unit of the society, it brings MORE INFIDELITY, it brings MORE immorality, it brings MORE POVERTY, it brings MORE suicidal cases… In short, it DOESN’T solve anything, but bring MORE PROBLEMS than solutions to our society.

People just want it because of an EASY GET AWAY for their problems . But get what??? Life is not easy.

Have you live there lives???? You have no ideal of what you are talking about you sound very ignorant and you call yourself a man of god please you fool. You say one thing and when confronted with the very problem, from the womans who is abuse and beaten you answer earlier “I sympathize” That makes you a hypocrite. Is your wife beating you? I see now why you are against divorce maybe you are hiding something yourself.. If your closet door open what may spill out….

Yo Ptr. Vincent just got PWNED.

Personally speaking, I am a child of an annulled couple. My parents have waiting 10 years to seperate legally and it finally happened. I have no bias against divorce at all. Having divorce as an available option only strengthens the bond, because if the love of a married couple is true, even if the option of divorce is available to them, they will try and work it out.

Why do think we are the ONLY COUNTRY in the world wherein divorce is illegal? Are we morally superior to them and holier because of this?

No. We have a disgustingly corrupt government, increasing poverty and unhappy citizens. But it’s alright, our morals are backed up by the church right?

So what are you going to do with that??? Backed it up with an immoral law??? Naaah… wrong…

Good for them but I hate the lawyers got rich of of them. I wonder how must the church cut was…

You have a point and I respect your opinion regarding this very controversial issue. I am a Christian and I have a very big faith in Him. But with regards to this issue, I think whether Divorce in the Philippines will be legalize or not, it doesn’t matter because the decision to sustain ones Marriage is still up to the two persons involved and what they believe in. And with regards to issues of moral and cultural Filipino values, I don’t think it will be a problem if from the start of a child’s life they were already taught strong moral and cultural values within the family.

i work here in Norway where divorce function well. walang pilitan,kng ayaw na ayaw na,move on. it really works. kids here are well adjusted, no pressures, no stress. i got married july of 2002, i am from visayas, while he is from luzon. i was 2 mos pregnant when he went home to his mom because he said he has to be on his mother side coz she’s sick. he has 4 siblings more who lives within the block from his mom’s house. that was feb 2004. he visits me & the kids 3 times within 18 mos,then the last time he saw the kids was apr 2007… i went here to work jan 2010, i keep on telling him visit the kids becasue they are asking about you, it’s just a plane away but still nothing from him. easy for others to say commitment & family counseling or whatever they can think of… to each is own, not everything is applicable to everybody so i think it’s about time we get in touch to reality & not be so emotional about life with all our dramas , move on & prosper. walang pilitan pra eveybody can live their lives, live & let live,simple lng un, kung ayaw na nila bakit nyo pipilitin eh malay nyo naman sa mga buhay nila kasi kayo masaya naman kayo sa buhay nyo. don’t be s negative,hinid pa nga na try, kaya hindi umaasenso ang pilipinas kasi we don’t welcome change. the government can’t take care of 99M population, anong problema sa prevention as long as hindi naman abortion ang pinag uusapan dito? bible is written in ancient times, may mga bagay na hinid na applicable dyan, i believe in GOD but let’s not be blind & hypocrite. open your mind, buhay nila yan so don’t be nosy & makialam. i feel i have to dissolve my marriage, my kids don’t have a normal family life either. having a father who doesn’t want to see for reasons i don’t understand. so how can i have a so called family is one member is missing? i don’t think i had a married life to begin with, i am alone in raising my kids, when one child is in the hospital i asked him to visit, no papa showed, the child begged him, nothing… one thing more, he SOMETIMES sends money. can you see any REALISTIC solution to this? thanks.

Hi Tin! First, I sympathize with you. Life indeed is not easy. Life is hard, and someone unfair especially with others. Sometimes we do mistakes that we really do regret and we want to turn everything around. We want to be more happy than what it was before. We want to get away from the miseries of life. “Do not dwell in the past” this is what we always think.

But Divorce Bill is not a “SOLUTION” to marital problems. I am not saying that you should stick with your spouse that is hurting physically or emotionally. Though irreconcilable relationships does exists, Divorce is not really the answer. AGAIN, I MUST stress out that there has been NO POSITIVE results of divorce. It did not lessen violence against women, child abuse, and other things… rather it drags the people to “shallow” view of love and marital relationship where they view sex as something only for pleasure.

Yes, you are right, the Bible was written in the ancient times. But the “MORAL VALUES” it teaches especially about love is not bound by time. It is immortal, it is UNIVERSAL.

For sure, you do not want your children to have a broken family someday. For sure, you still hope that they will find the best partner for them. But that’s NOT gonna happen if you will support divorce.

Simply because it teaches people to be more immoral and teaches the children to have a shallow view on sex, relationships and marriage. AGAIN, there is nothing positive about divorce, only a disillusionment of freedom from the past.

I do respect your stand… it’s up to you. But I’ve seen more people who ended up marrying not just twice but multiple times than just simply correcting what went wrong in the past.

I quess that dont include Bar Girls

Traumatized??? What could be more traumatic for children who commits suicide??? Stats say there are more children who commits suicide whose parents were divorced than having an intact family. So what does this mean??? It simply means that divorce is not really the answer.

Furthermore as I said, we really can’t stop couples from parting ways if they really chose to. That’s why we have legal separation and annulment. It’s basically other terms for divorce as far as the expert of the law said. The only difference is that it is more difficult to justify their separation which will most likely give the couple more opportunity to re-think and re-try their marriage to work out.

One thing that we need to keep and understand as Christians is to VALUE OUR MARRIAGE and our VOWS. Now, I really don’t believe that we give that value if support laws like this.

The Bible is strong in its stand, GOD hates divorce. ONLY MAN wants it that’s why it was allowed. Our stand should be on God’s side. Now, if you are not with Him, then you are against Him…. Divorce is divorce… Yes it can be forgiven, but why would I encourage couples to consider it? I will never do that.

I do understand people who have been through tough times. And I don’t condemn them from being separated. But again, it is not a reason for me to encourage them to separate their ways, but rather I would encourage them to follow God’s word of love and respect between spouses.

To summarize: Divorce is too secular, too carnal and unChristian. It is NOT A CHRISTIAN WAY…. and I would say it again, IT IS NOT A CHRISTIAN WAY to encourage divorce. If you are a Christian pastor, a Christian Counselor or Minister and you are PRO-Divorce, then I would say you are standing on a shaky grounds theology and morality. No theologian could ever say that God “loves” divorce… not even close to say that it is “God’s will”.

is that so.. given a situation that a woman is beaten by the husband and is also raping his children or harassing them would you still stand protecting a marriage that is already harming the children, with all the domestic violence that are already happening woman have the right to stand up and dissolve the marriage that is ruining the life of her children or vice versa.. divorce is not just to ruin marriage and pure negative lets also open our minds to its positive sides… divorce is not also just given to those who want it it has a process. you are anti divorce why not dissolve annulment. anyway they are alike by all means have you ever thinked about it

Nobody is saying that a woman has to stay with her husband basing on your description. But I really don’t think that divorce is the best solution for that problem. The point is, people want divorce as an ‘IMMEDIATE SOLUTION” for marital problems, which I really don’t agree.

Divorce has HUGE NEGATIVE effects to the following: 1. Biblical moral values. 2. Cultural (Filipino) moral values. 3. Marriage. 4. Family 5. Children 6. Society

Even though many people say we need to be “OPEN MINDED” for divorce…. the GIANT Fact is…. there is NOTHING POSITIVE about divorce.

It DOES NOT : 1. Satisfy Biblical standards. 2. Satisfy cultural values. 3. Help marriages. 4. Promote family – it DESTROYS Family. 5. Build confidence for the children. In fact more children commit suicide and more children becomes PROBLEMATIC children and then later on becomes the problems of the society. 6. Help economically. In fact more people was added to the poverty level.

WHAT DOES IT SOLVE??? NOTHING!!!

If you took your ass out of your comfy, sheltered life and actually considered the possibility that maybe some people are just plain incapable of being in a committed relationship, maybe you’d see where anon is coming from. Citation needed, please? On all of your claims? From an unbiased source? (Unbiased, meaning the Bible does not count.) BTW, using capslock and a large amount of “!!!” does nothing to make your point more valid. It’s the equivalent of shouting in a debate, which makes you look and sound ridiculous.

You should really read John MacArthur’s Divine Design. Even he found it a pain to declare the Bible has provisions on divorce. But because he has the responsibility to lay down everything the Bible says about a topic on the table, he did. You are presenting only what you want to, not what the Bible is entirely saying. You are cherry picking for your own purposes.

” if there’s any confusion about the subject of divorce it is not due to the fact that God has given us a confused picture in the Bible it is due to the fact that so much sin has entered into the world that it has confused the simplicity of what God has said. God is very clear in the Bible about the issue of divorce.” ~ John MacArthur

I Corinthians 4:17

It sound like you are hiding something? What about the priest who have traumatized the children to kill themselfs after being sexually assaulted, this is a church control situation and you know it. You will have the same cycle repeated itself over over over again. So I guess you have a church full of sinner that hate each other but along as they are is your church!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is ok…

Cmon!!! We are living in a modern world. Children with divorced parents are fine like children who has both parents. So you think it’s better to traumatized children everyday while parents are fighting everyday living their pathetic lives together? Children are children, they are not stupid! you want to traumatize them over over and over again because their parents can’t get a divorce? Cmon people, being narrow won’t get ph somewhere… I say traumatize the children once and if they end up crazy, then there are shrinks who need jobs. I myself came from a broken family, and it would sadden me if my mom stayed with my abusive father. Duh, if course it would never heal the wounds, but at least parents can move on and be happy. Modern world, don’t be narrow 🙂 yes to divorce!

Where there is an abusive spouse/partner, there may be a season of “therapeutic separation” where the objective is to ensure the physical and emotional wellbeing of the victimized spouse and any children, while the abusive spouse receives help to deal with his/her issues. I know of some marriages where this happened. I am sorry you went through what you did, Maui, but I do hope you someday realize that God can definitely and actually change people and turn marriages around. Peace to you. 🙂

i agree, let’s be realistic & not be hypocrite, kng hapi kau sa life nyo,merong mga hindi dahil sa maling decisions, walang pilitan kasi para wla nang drama sa mundo. sa buong mundo Pinas nlng at vatican ang walang divorce, at we are now 99M in population kasi ayaw sa prevention. wag makitid ang ulo pra may asenso.

Nobody is saying here to force a couple to live with each other without the love factor. The point here is all about the ease of making the decision of separating from each other. Having a divorce bill will never heal the couple from the wounds of their failed relationship.

About the kids, I guess you will have to do some research about the detrimental effects of divorce to children. And I assure you that the disadvantages outweighs the advantages you get for your children in having a divorce. So I guess you will need to erase that for a good deal of reason.

As what the article says, divorce is more on a self-centered idea of solving a relationship problem. It’s all about gaining “MY LIFE” from a wrong and careless decision of the past.

Approve divorce and you will see a landslide moral degradation of moral and biblical standards and values.

I would say NO to divorce.

Hey guys, watch this video about the Divorce Bill. Whether you are pro or not, this is interesting.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LsO00rq2ec

It will be more sinful if we force the two persons to reconcile despite the absence of the love factor. It will be deliterious to the family and leads to more unhappiness and psychological trauma and stresses to the kids seeing their parents quarrel everyday. Divorce is good to help them relieve of that stress and also protect both parties legally in their own personal safety and interest. Dont be mistaken that divorce is done only because they want happiness since more and more people now do not choose to remarry after an unhealthy married experience. They only need divorce decree to recapture that previous life that was stolen from them out of a failed marriage.

Dear Ronald, love is a decision and commitment; it is carried out through actions. True love is not limited to the level of feelings. That is exactly why GOD–who is love–continues to love us despite our faults and failures. I have read about, and personally known many marriages, where it was getting the right help–counseling for the family, and perhaps on an individual level for the husband and for the wife; a commitment to GOD’s word and faith in His power to bring about healing and restoration–that made it possible for marriages filled with hate and stress and fighting to be turned around. As the children see the changes, it is a powerful message of hope and life and love to them, and they grow up being better able to enter marriage with a clear view of what it entails, and how beautiful and enduring God designed it to be. The “life stolen” can be restored…not by divorce, nor by a new partner, but by God. Blessings to you. 🙂

I think that it is about control and ignorance, this is not about the people is about the church losing control and that is far from it. It is a male driven attitude. Think about it a man can leave his wife in the philippines and be with many women and have many kids by these woman, and care for none. And the woman with no help from the man are the church must just pray that peace will come. But In the mean time they go aboard to work as someones maid to be abuse and look down apond like aminals. And wasting there lives aways while the man sits back in the philippine and have more baby to replace the women whos lives are dead as they live. I quess the purpose of man there is to make laws that keep it cycle going forever..But remember thoses same men will answer to god. But remember life has ups and downs and when a chance comes along that can change the womans and her kids life she has no chance because the life she must suffer, it stop her and then she die never being a truly happy woman in gods eyes….

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between 2 people that create kinship.To choose a good partner,we must decide a million times so that in the end we will not put in a situation that needs a divorce because absolutely in can affect the children.I am a product of a separated family.It is so difficult to live w/o a father.Every time that a father’s day comes,you’ll just sit aside and got envy w/ some kids bonding w/ there father.I absolutely don’t agree,DIVORCE…..sorry……..

No it won!’t Divorce in the Philippines won’t help.It will only deteriorate our cultural values and beliefs.No to Divorce is my plea.

Romans 7:2 ESV “For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage.

for knowledge, it will pass away. … ”

Luke 16:18 ESV “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery”

1 Corinthians 7:39 ESV “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. ”

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Matthew 19:2-9 ESV “And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” …

MALIWANAG ANG SINASABI NG BIBLIYA TUNGKOL SA DIVORCE KAYA HINDI PWEDENG BAGUHIN ITO NG TAO.. KUNG MAY MGA BANSA NA GINAWANG LEGAL ANG DIVORCE EHH BAKIT GUSTO NYONG GUMAYA ANG PILIPINAS?

MATAKOT PO TAYO SA UTOS NG DIYOS WAG PO TAYONG MAGPADALA SA SULSOL NG MGA SECULARIST, COMMUNIST, ATHEISTS, AT PROGRESSIVES KUNO.

Ptr Vince, may I have your permission to copy your article and permission to send your article to my friends and permission also post it in my Facebook account? I want to echo your article to as many friends as I have, because this is also my stand, NO TO DIVORCE LAW! I want to openly campaign against Congressmen in our district and senatoriables advocating pro-divorce law. Di ko Lang po kc maarticulate ang gusto kong sabihin sa mga friends ko as much as you have expressed it in your article. So I will just ask your permission that I be allowed to copy your article and quote you as the source.

Ptr vince, i agree with all that you said. I have a friend in the Congress and he said that “after the passing of the RH Bill, itaga mo sa Bato, Divorce Law ang kasunod nyan, it will be legalized 3 years from now.” I was alarmed. You are right, walang pakundangan na ang pagpasok nyan sa marriage and get away with it easily. I’m a mother of two, ano na Lang ang environment na gagalawan nila in the future. Divorce is not the solution. Jesus Christ is the answer. Then moral recovery will come in. I knew of a couple who were separated for 20 years, they come to know Jesus, nagkabalikan sila, now they are both in their 70s happily serving The Lord.

Thank you again for your article. You are a blessing ptr Vince, God bless you and your family.

@Janine Jimena-Perez. Please do what you want to do with this article, just leave the link or at least my name on the article. Share it to your FB, copy it, share it to your friends, etc. The more people who reads it, the better.

Let’s stand for righteousness even in marriage or in the plan of marrying someone. 🙂

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[OPINION] Is the Philippines ready for divorce?

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This is AI generated summarization, which may have errors. For context, always refer to the full article.

Guia Abogado/Rappler

A Senate committee has approved a consolidated measure that brings divorce one step closer to becoming a law. This happened on September 19.

This is no small feat. The first divorce bill was introduced in 2005 . Many attempts have failed since. In 2018, House Bill 7303 was approved on the third and final reading by a vote of 134-57, but it was never deliberated in the Senate.

Thus, today’s divorce legislation — Senate Bill 2443 — has reached an unprecedented milestone. 

If passed into law, divorce becomes possible in cases of marital rape and irreparable breakdown of the marriage. The bill also legislates that no trial shall take place within 60 days from the filing of the petition, if based on irreconcilable differences. Presumably, this cooling-off period would give enough time for both parties to reflect on the finality of their decision.

I doubt, though, if the days ahead are going to be a cooling-off period for divorce. The topic itself generates impassioned reactions.

So, how ready are Filipinos for divorce?

There’s evidence to show that this might in fact be the case.

The latest data we have come from a survey administered by SWS in 2017. According to that national survey, 53% of Filipinos agreed to “legalize divorce in the country for irreconcilably separated couples.” By contrast, only 32% dissented.

What this reveals is a far cry from a survey conducted — believe it or not — almost a century ago. Thanks to Ambeth Ocampo , we know that in 1927 the news magazine Free Press polled its readers regarding their sentiment about divorce. More than 6,500 sent their responses by mail. 

This sampling design could not possibly represent all Filipinos. But the results give us a sense of what the broader sentiments may have been a century ago. Unsurprisingly, more than 5,000 votes were against divorce. The survey also asked respondents to explain their answer. One is particularly instructive: “No, [I am not in favor of divorce because] the wife is not a flower that a man drops because it has lost its beauty and sweetness for him.”

Moreover, we have evidence to show that Filipinos in recent years have become increasingly open to legalizing divorce . In 2005, just about 44% of Filipinos were in favor. But from 2011 onwards, more than half of the population have consistently expressed their support for it. 

Thus, from this vantage point, the answer is that Filipinos are indeed prepared.

The religious worldview

None of us, however, expect the process to be smooth. 

Divorce is a hot-button issue for people who take pride that ours is the last country — apart from the Vatican, of course — to be divorceless. To them it’s a badge of honor that the country remains faithful to the Catholic faith.

But this does not preclude the other legitimate views that need to be considered, however difficult they might be.

Consider this. In defense of divorce, lobbyists argue that not every marriage is made in heaven. In defense of the family, rejectors insist that divorce is too easy a way out. These viewpoints often don’t see eye to eye. One tends to be more pragmatic, the other moralistic.

Often these two perspectives are pitted against each other, as if the battle is purely between moral rectitude and the whims of the public. Or between the timeless truth of the Catholic faith and people’s sinfulness.

In the backdrop of this tension are the many cases of domestic violence and marital strife. They call into question claims about the family as the foundation of the nation or about marriage as a divine institution. Without any possibility of formal exit, people in these relationships don’t have viable options to move on and start anew. These arrangements, as the experience of many also shows , only prolong agony within the family.

It is thus very telling that even Senator Joel Villanueva, who himself rejects divorce, is the first to admit that “ there are marriages, especially those that resort to violence, [that] need to end .”

What this only goes to show is that legalizing divorce in the Philippines cannot be framed as a zero-sum game.

Honest conversations

Thus we must, in this light, reframe the question. The question is not so much about public readiness for divorce as it is our collective willingness to discuss what must be upheld in our society. 

Yes, marriage is a good worth upholding. But so is the long-term welfare of spouses and children in the midst of marital breakdown. 

As Em Abuton puts it in her provocative piece , “Filipino values. Family values. But what do we really value? Life, safety, and sanity through divorce? Or that superficial image of a supposedly ideal marriage?”

Like many other difficult issues in our society, divorce needs to be discussed thoroughly in the hope of providing legitimate and viable options for people, regardless of their religious convictions and especially with regard for those in irreparable situations. 

What this means is that leaving the debate to the Senate and the experts they often invite is not enough. The public must take part in articulating the issues at stake. After all, it’s ordinary Filipinos who encounter many legal obstacles. Even annulment, the legal procedure people may avail of, is simply financially prohibitive.

And given the role of religion in shaping public opinion, the many religious spaces we inhabit are also critical, in my view. While faith communities may insist on the sanctity of marriage and family life, they must also begin probing how tenable their worldview really is in the face of domestic violence. 

Rephrasing Abuton’s questions above, I have in mind the following: What good do we protect in rejecting divorce? Whose welfare do we uphold if we make divorce a viable option? And does legalizing divorce automatically negate the sanctity of marriage?

The lessons, I believe, are clear. 

What God has put together, let no one put asunder. That may be true and worth upholding. But it is equally true that what we choose as a society to defend together, if left unchecked, may also put the rest of us asunder. – Rappler.com

Jayeel Cornelio, PhD is a sociologist of religion. He is Professor of Development Studies at the Ateneo de Manila University and concurrently Visiting Professor in the Graduate Shool of the University of St La Salle. Co-authored with Jose Mario Francisco, his latest book is People’s Christianity: Theological Sense and Sociological Significance . Follow him on Twitter @jayeel_cornelio .

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Thanks to Jayeel Cornelio for his inspirational article on a dreadful topic entitled, “Is the Philippines ready for divorce?” From his research, he concluded that: “… the answer is that Filipinos are indeed prepared.” But how about our Traditional Politicians? Are they prepared for Divorce? What is the effect of Divorce to their Political Dynasties and their Politico-Economic Power which is based on the Wealth that they have amassed through Political Patronage and Corruption? If they think that Divorce will weaken their Political Dynasties and Politico-Economic Power, then these Traditional Politicians will oppose it; otherwise, they should support the Divorce Senate Bill.

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United Methodists scrap their anti-gay bans. A woman who defied them seeks reinstatement as pastor

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Twenty years ago, Beth Stroud was defrocked from her beloved job as a United Methodist pastor in Philadelphia. In a church trial, she was found guilty of violating “Christian teaching” because she had acknowledged living in a committed relationship with another woman.

Earlier this month, delegates at a United Methodist Church conference struck down the UMC’s longstanding anti-LGBTQ policies and created a path for clergy ousted because of them to seek reinstatement.

Stroud — even while recalling how her 2004 ouster disrupted her life — is taking that path, though some other past targets of UMC discipline are choosing otherwise. Stroud is optimistic that United Methodist clergy from eastern Pennsylvania will restore her pastoral credentials at a meeting next week.

Ahead of a church service last Sunday, Stroud pondered what reinstatement would mean, and shed a tear. “It’s about how compelling that call is — that after 20 years, I still want to come back,” she said.

At 54, she doesn’t plan a return to full-time ministry — at least not immediately. Now completing a three-year stint teaching writing at Princeton University, she is excited to be starting a new job this summer as assistant professor of Christian history at the Methodist Theological School in Ohio — one of 13 seminaries run by the UMC.

Yet even with the new teaching job, Stroud wanted to regain the options available to an ordained minister as she looks for a congregation to join near the Delaware, Ohio, campus.

“I think a church will be able to use me in some way where my credentials are important — like being asked to celebrate Communion on a day when the regular pastor is out of town,” she said. “Those would be really meaningful opportunities.”

When Stroud finally made her decision, she knew it was the right one.

“It felt really good to write that email, to request reinstatement,” she said. “I want to continue to be a part of the church and its work in the world.”

But the decision did not come easily as she followed the UMC’s deliberations on the anti-LGBTQ policies.

“The first thing I felt was just anger — thinking about the life I could have had,” she said. “I loved being a pastor. I was good at it. With 20 more years of experience, I could have been very good — helped a lot of people and been very fulfilled.”

Instead of pastoring, she spent several years in graduate schools, while earning modest income in temporary, non-tenured academic jobs. There were challenges, including a bout with cancer and divorce from her wife, although they proceeded to co-parent their daughter, who was born in 2005.

Had she not been defrocked, Stroud said, “My whole life would have been different.”

The process that led to Stroud’s ouster began in April 2003, when she told her congregation, the First United Methodist Church of Germantown, about her same-sex relationship. The church — where Stroud had been a pastor for four years — set up a legal fund to assist with her defense and hired her as a lay minister after she was defrocked.

When she later moved to New Jersey, she sought a new church to join, and settled on Turning Point United Methodist Church, a predominantly Black congregation in Trenton.

On Sunday, as Stroud sat in the pews, she got a shout-out from Turning Point’s pastor, Rupert Hall.

“You guys may not realize this, but for the last 15 or so years, we have been blessed to have — as a loving, supportive, active member of Turning Point — a rock star,” Hall said.

“The United Methodist Church stripped Beth of her credentials to be a pastor, and her name is known throughout the world as a martyr for those of God’s children who call themselves and who are identified in the LGBTQ community.”

There were cheers when Hall said Stroud now had a chance for reinstatement.

The UMC says it has no overall figures of how many clergy were defrocked for defying anti-LGBTQ bans or how many reinstatements might occur.

It’s an option that won’t be exercised by Jimmy Creech, who like Stroud was ousted from the UMC decades ago. Jurors at a church court removed his clergy credentials in 1999 after he presided over a same-sex union ceremony in North Carolina.

Creech is grateful that the General Conference, near the close of its recent proceedings in Charlotte, North Carolina, passed legislation allowing reinstatement of pastors defrocked in cases like his.

“This is an act of reconciliation and restorative justice, a move to heal the broken community of the Church,” said Creech, who earlier doubted such a move would ever happen.

However, Creech, 79, said he won’t seek reinstatement.

“Simply knowing the Church now provides for it is satisfaction enough for me,” he said via email. “Because I am not nor cannot be in pastoral ministry at this time in my life, I do not think reinstating my ordination is appropriate.”

Creech was ordained in 1970 and served various parishes in his native North Carolina.

In 1984, the UMC General Conference approved a law forbidding “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” from being in ministry. Creech said that action prompted a member of his church to tearfully confide that he was gay and had decided to leave the UMC.

Creech began doing biblical studies about sexuality, concluded “the church was wrong” and became an activist on LGBTQ issues in North Carolina. He briefly became a pastor in Nebraska, and soon was put on church trial for presiding over a union ceremony in 1997 for two women. He was acquitted but, after returning to North Carolina, presided over a ceremony for two men. That led to his 1999 defrocking.

Creech said he remained in ministry thereafter, often serving as guest preacher in churches around the country.

“I realized I’m still the same person. I’m still a pastor. The church never took that away from me. What it did was take a title from me.”

Amy DeLong, a lesbian pastor from Wisconsin, fought for LGBTQ inclusion in the UMC for years. She formed an advocacy organization, protested the bans at General Conferences, conducted a same-sex union — and in 2011 underwent a church trial for it. She was suspended from ministry for 20 days and still kept fighting.

In 2019, she watched the bans upheld once more by that year’s UMC General Conference. By 2021, she was done. After nearly a quarter of a century as a UMC minister, DeLong took early retirement.

“I couldn’t stomach the hypocrisy anymore,” said DeLong, who no longer considers herself a Methodist. “The harm they were doing, in my opinion, outweighed whatever good they were doing. They lost the right to shape me and to have any authority over me anymore.”

DeLong welcomes the lifting of the UMC’s bans but says LGBTQ pastors in the church still face inequality.

“It’s good that language is gone. … It needed to never be a part of who we were,” she said. “But gosh, just all of the senseless brutality weighs so heavily on me.”

The UMC was the last of major mainline Protestant groups to repeal policies that excluded LGBTQ people from marriage and ministry. Religious LGBTQ people were part of the fight for change across denominations, as illustrated by the Shower of Stoles, an exhibit in the care of the National LGBTQ Task Force featuring liturgical vestments of activist clergy and members from the UMC, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and other churches.

“You can never underestimate the challenges that queer people have faced in faith communities,” said Cathy Renna, spokesperson for the task force. “And on the flip side of that, the courage of those who stood up and said, ‘No, these are my values. This is my faith.’”

AP reporter Luis Andres Henao contributed from Trenton, N.J.

Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.

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Take My Wife, Please: For Political Damage Control, Just Blame Your Spouse

When Justice Samuel Alito and Senator Bob Menendez landed in hot water, they looked for a scapegoat close to home. Inside their homes, in fact.

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By Rebecca Davis O’Brien and Reid J. Epstein

It is a tale as old as Adam and Eve: A husband, faced with accusations of misconduct, blames the wife.

It is also a time-honored, bipartisan political strategy. This week, Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. and Senator Bob Menendez of New Jersey pointed ringed fingers at their wives for episodes that have landed each man in political or legal trouble.

“It was briefly placed by Mrs. Alito,” Justice Alito, one of the Supreme Court’s most conservative members, told The New York Times in explaining an upside-down American flag — a “Stop the Steal” symbol of protest by Donald J. Trump’s supporters — flying on a pole in the family’s front lawn in the days before President Biden’s 2021 inauguration. The justice’s wife, Martha-Ann Alito, was in a feud with neighbors at the time over an anti-Trump sign, The Times reported.

In the case of Mr. Menendez, a Democrat, it was his lawyer who did the finger pointing. On Wednesday, in a federal courtroom in Manhattan, the lawyer, Avi Weitzman, blamed the senator’s wife and her financial troubles for what prosecutors have described as a bribery scheme involving foreign governments and hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts.

“She tried to get cash and assets any which way she could,” Mr. Weitzman told the jury. “She kept him in the dark on what she was asking others to give her.” (Ms. Menendez also faces charges in the case but will be tried separately, after a breast cancer diagnosis . She has pleaded not guilty, and a lawyer representing her declined to comment.)

Casting blame on a spouse for perceived misdeeds may help relieve the immediate pressure on a public official, but it does so, necessarily, by exposing the most intimate of partnerships to scrutiny and scorn.

And, of course, there’s the reputational and interpersonal fallout from throwing your wife under the bus.

“Given how the public generally holds women to a higher ethical standard than men and expect them to take raps for behavior men routinely get away with, I could see how men might think blaming their wife for a misdeed could shield them from criticism,” said Jennifer Palmieri, a political strategist who knows about spousal controversy from working on the presidential campaigns of John Edwards and Hillary Clinton. “But not when it involves your wife. You just look like a coward.”

Sidestepping political controversy and pushing your wife directly into it is a move bound to prompt accusations of sexism, as it often plays on negative stereotypes of manipulative, ambitious or status-obsessed political wives with uncontrollable emotions and an outsize sense of entitlement.

Justice Alito’s claim about Mrs. Alito would seem to put her into a different category: A wife whose strongly held, unwisely advertised opinions become a professional liability for her husband. (Neither has been charged with a crime or formally accused of wrongdoing.)

Political spouse scandals often arise from the inevitable marital disruption created when one member of a couple rises to a high-visibility job that, at least in theory, is bound by particular laws and codes of ethics. Not only does it force the spouses into new public roles, it also means they can be natural scapegoats when something goes awry, whether they embrace it or not.

“​​This is not normal behavior; this is not normal marital strife,” said former Representative Brian Baird, a Democrat from Washington State, who was a practicing psychologist for two decades before spending a dozen years in Congress. “Lots of us go through marital strife, but that strife does not include acting in ways that are extraordinarily questionable or self-enriching or undermining the political system itself and then making excuses for that.”

One of the most important public corruption cases in recent decades centered on the marriage of Bob McDonnell, a Republican former governor of Virginia.

Mr. McDonnell and his wife, Maureen, both faced federal charges stemming from more than $165,000 in loans and gifts given to the family by a nutritional-supplements executive. At their trial, in 2014, Mr. McDonnell’s lawyers said the couple had been too estranged to engage in a conspiracy, seizing on a witness’s description of her as a “nutbag” and saying she had become fixated on luxury goods.

(In the case of charged crimes, blaming the wife can make for excellent legal strategy, since spouses cannot be compelled to testify against each other.)

Mr. McDonnell took the stand in his own defense, telling the jury that his wife had been disappointed in their financial circumstances and “overwhelmed” by the stress of her role in public office. Both were convicted, but the convictions were later overturned through a unanimous 2016 Supreme Court ruling that loosened federal bribery statutes. He filed for divorce three years later.

As with Ms. Menendez and Ms. McDonnell, politicians’ wives have faced legal consequences beyond public opprobrium.

In 2018, charged with stealing campaign money to support a lavish lifestyle, former Representative Duncan D. Hunter, a Republican from California, said his wife was responsible for the couple’s finances. Both later pleaded guilty to corruption.

There are also political couples whose professional ambitions and private transgressions are so closely intertwined that public condemnation flows freely between them, even when neither partner directly blames the other.

While Mrs. Clinton was first lady, her husband’s foes on the political right painted her as a dangerous and manipulative figure. Later, her own political aspirations often collided, at times extremely uncomfortably, with her husband’s infidelity and his postpresidential work.

Sometimes, spouses’ political roles or outside employment complicate their partners’ official business.

Another Supreme Court justice, Clarence Thomas, has faced calls for his recusal or resignation after correspondence showed that his wife, Virginia Thomas, a longtime right-wing activist, sought to overthrow the results of the 2020 election.

And former Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died in 2020 , faced criticism for not recusing herself from cases to which her husband, Martin Ginsburg, a tax lawyer, had direct or indirect ties.

Of course, Washington men behaving badly are sometimes called out by their wives. Just this week, Representative Rich McCormick, a Georgia Republican, filed for divorce and then watched as his wife, Debra Miller, publicly suggested that he had had an affair with a fellow member of Congress.

Women in public office have also gotten in trouble because of their romantic partners. In 2020, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan, a Democrat, blamed her husband’s “poor attempt at humor” after reports that he had tried to cajole a marina owner into putting his boat in the water before the Memorial Day rush, which also violated the state’s Covid lockdown policies.

Before Carol Moseley Braun was sworn in as a Democratic senator from Illinois in 1993, she came under fire because of accusations that her boyfriend, who was also her campaign manager, had sexually harassed women on the campaign staff.

Ms. Moseley Braun said in an interview on Friday that political advisers at the time urged her to cast blame on her boyfriend and distance herself from him.

“I thought that would be cowardly of me to do,” she said. “I said, ‘This guy has not done anything wrong.’”

The typical posture from powerful men in Washington, she said, is the opposite.

“They just find somebody else to blame but me,” she said. “And the person closest to me is this woman over here, and you can kick her around as much as you want.”

Benjamin Weiser and Catie Edmondson contributed reporting.

Rebecca Davis O’Brien covers campaign finance and money in U.S. elections. She previously covered federal law enforcement, courts and criminal justice. More about Rebecca Davis O’Brien

Reid J. Epstein covers campaigns and elections from Washington. Before joining The Times in 2019, he worked at The Wall Street Journal, Politico, Newsday and The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. More about Reid J. Epstein

The winners and losers in the 2024 Northern Territory budget

Northern Territory Chief Minister and Treasurer Eva Lawler has today handed down her pre-election budget, three months out from August's poll.

Figures show a net operating deficit of $410 million for the next financial year, if including the day-to-day spending to run the government.

When money for capital works is added into calculations, the NT's deficit reaches $1.59 billion for 2024-25.

All up, the NT's net debt will rise to a record $11 billion in the next financial year and increase to $12.3 billion by 2027-28.

With plenty of money being spent, there are some clear winners. But as always, there's some losers too.

These are some of the biggest announcements that may affect you.

Winner: Education

The NT's schools are the most underfunded in the nation, with average attendance rates in very remote schools  below 50 per cent.

Earlier this year, the federal and NT governments committed almost $1.1 billion in joint funding for NT education, to fully fund public schools by 2029.

Of that, the NT government has committed $100 million of that new money in this year's budget papers, including:

• $72 million to achieve schooling resource standard targets
• $19 million, including Commonwealth funding, for the continuation of the on-country learning program
• $8.7 million for new infrastructure at Alekarenge School

Loser: Health

Data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare shows patients in territory hospitals are sicker than those in other states, stay longer and have the highest rates of potentially preventable conditions in the nation.

Considering this, the health system is under extreme pressure, with code yellows frequently called at the NT's largest facility, Royal Darwin Hospital.

On Monday, Chief Minister Eva Lawler put NT Health CEO Marco Bricenco on notice, saying consistent budget overspends in recent years were "highly concerning".

The department will have less money to spend next financial year, with its budget dropping from a revised figure this year of $2.18 billion, to $2.05 billion in 2024-25.

The health spend includes:

• $100 million to continue upgrades to Royal Darwin Hospital
• $20 million for a health care centre in Borroloola
• $2 million for the planning and design of a residential aged care facility at Holtze

Winner: Corrections

Prisoner numbers have soared to unprecedented levels in the Northern Territory, with almost 1 per cent of the NT's population in jail.

Incarceration numbers have been growing since 2012, with a particularly steep increase in recent years.

Prisons are so full that inmates are being held in police watch houses.

With this in mind, the government has splashed the cash on corrections, including:

• $57 million to repurpose two existing NT Health facilities into new women's prisons
• $34 million to upgrade the Alice Springs prison

Neutral: Cost of living

Like everywhere else around Australia, an increase in interest rates and high inflation have had a big impact in the Northern Territory.

With the Reserve Bank now assuming Australians will see no interest rate cuts this year, relief for mortgage holders is still a while away.

The NT government has pulled a few strings in this year's budget in an attempt to help, with measures including:

• $41 million to contain electricity prices below inflation
• $3 million for the continuation of the home and business battery scheme
• Continuation of the $200 back to school voucher

Loser: Domestic violence

The NT has the highest rates of domestic, family and sexual violence (DFSV) in the country, including intimate partner homicide, which is seven times that of the national average.

Since the year 2000, in the territory, 81 women have been killed by their partners.

Despite this, the jurisdiction receives less than two per cent of the DSFV federal funding pie.

It means NT government promises are vital.

Considering the situation, there isn't a lot of new money for the sector in this budget.

It includes:

• $30 million over the next two financial years to support a DSFV action plan
• $304,000 for women's safe houses upgrades

Loser: Environment

The NT government is hoping to significantly expand the local gas industry, with large-scale projects such as the Beetaloo Basin, Middle Arm and the Barossa gas field in the offing.

It's led climate scientists to say there is no realistic pathway for the NT to meet its 2050 net zero emissions commitment, with the government keeping a report detailing the territory's projected emissions secret.

This year's budget doesn't include much new money to address that, or the territory's ability to deal with natural disasters, with the environment budget decreasing by more than $1.5 million next financial year.

• $800,000 for crocodile management
• $1 million to manage the invasive buffel and gamba grasses
• $1.1 million for Aboriginal ranger grants

Winner: Housing

It's one of the most challenging social issues facing the Northern Territory — rolling out housing to remote Aboriginal communities where severe overcrowding remains an ongoing issue.

The territory and federal governments have signed a new agreement in the past year which will see a remote housing investment of more than $650 million to help alleviate the squeeze.

Some of that shows up in the 2024-25 financial year.

For the year ahead, the budget papers show about $300 million pegged to hit the ground, including:

• $223 million for new homes and land servicing works in the remote Northern Territory
• $25 million for the remote Room to Breathe housing program
• $25 million for government employee housing

Neutral: Roads

The Northern Territory's vast road network is pivotal for thousands of remote Aboriginal residents, mining and cattle companies.

The territory's 2024-25 budget will see some needed upgrades to some of these, with particularly big spends to thoroughfares in Arnhem Land and the Western Desert.

While there'll be cheers in those areas to see the long-awaited sealing projects receive a boost, the overall funding for roads across the territory is only a marginal net increase on last year.

The government is allocating:

• $45 million to upgrade the Central Arnhem Road
• $49 million for upgrades to the Tanami Road
• $131 million to continue work on the Outback Way project on the Plenty Highway

Winner: Police

The Northern Territory Police Force is one of the big winners from the Lawler government's crime-focused re-election strategy, with a $90 million increase to its budget across this year and next.

In total, NT police's budget will increase to $561 million next financial year.

It follows a review into the force which found governance, performance, and resourcing issues.

The government will spend $100 million next financial year specifically responding to the review's findings.

This include funds for:

• The attempted recruitment of extra police officers and emergency call takers
• Upgrades to police infrastructure and housing
• Full establishment of the new Territory Safety Division

Loser: Tourism

The territory's tourism industry hasn't had it easy in recent years, with the pandemic and crime affecting tourist numbers.

Operators in Central Australia say they are at breaking point, with some reporting figures "worst than COVID".

Considering this, an extra $6 million for the sector seems modest.

Spending includes:

• $3 million to encourage more international visitors to the Northern Territory
• $3 million towards more cooperative marketing with airlines

Loser: Arts & recreation

Although small, the NT has a strong arts scene which punches above its weight.

Unfortunately for the sector, it will cop a $16 million hit next financial year.

But millions has been set aside for sporting infrastructure, including:

• $4.6 million for upgrades to the Hidden Valley Motor Sports Complex
• $5.8 million for redevelopment of two sporting ovals in Darwin
• $1 million for infrastructure upgrades for rugby in Alice Springs

Speaking at a press conference, Ms Lawler said the document was a "commonsense, responsible" budget.

"Budget 2024 addresses the issues that we see demand for in the Northern Territory," Ms Lawler said.

"I've heard from Territorians they want to focus on addressing crime and anti-social behaviour and budget 2024 delivers that, with $570 million additional spending over five years for police in the Northern Territory.

"But also, we've heard very much from Territorians that they want to see education get a boost, they want full funding for our schools, so budget 2024 provides record spending for education as well."

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