essay about accomplishments in school

Student Essays

12 Essays on my Achievements [ Academic & Extra Curricular ]

The achievements, successes or accomplishments we gain in school are the part of best school life years.  Those achievements in middle, high school or college student life may include personal academic achievements and sports or extracurricular achievements. They may be greatest, the best or the bad but we never forget them.

My Achievements  in Life | Individual, Academic & Extra Curricular Achievements | My Achievements that I am Proud of

Achievements are the desires that we love to have for. They are our those goals we struggle to achieve. The achievements in personal or professional life are the true identity of a successful and struggling person. The following essay reflects the importance of achievements and a firm call for us to set and struggle to achieve those aims.

1. Essay about the Achievements that You are Proud of

Achievement is associated with the targeted goals or aims in life. When we define our action in relation to something like a goal a task is created. A task when fulfilled is called an achievement earned. The struggle in life is the sum total of our achievements, success, failures, mistakes.

Therefore, my achievement, my success or my accomplishment is the name given to my fulfilled goals. The failure, in turns, is the names given to my mistakes, my setbacks, and my loss. Every person in life has some achievements, accomplishments, rewards and successes earned. At the same time mistakes, failures and setbacks as well.

My achievements, my successes and my accomplishments are the one that make me happy and proud. Whereas, my mistakes, my failures and setbacks make me strong and bold.

There are various kinds of achievements one may have. There are some examples of achievements like personal achievements, academic achievements, sports achievements etc. There are various roles in which one achieves something. Taking myself as an example it would be like my achievements as a teacher, my accomplishments as student in school, college or in personal life.

My Academic Achievement

Academic achievements are those gains that are accomplished by a student during his high school, college or university life. These achievements are really the ones you remain prideful throughout your entire life.  Everyone who is well taught has some personal achievements including academic achievements as well.

• My student life has given me many academic achievements that I must be proud of. Some of my academic achievements I have listed below.
• My first academic achievement is that I have successfully completed my education till now with A+ throughout. It is my greatest achievement of life
• My second greatest academic achievement is that I have successfully got admission in my desire career. My parents are proud of me.
• They always wanted me to be a great doctor. It is my passion to serve my country.
• My third biggest academic achievement is that on the basis of good scores and my professional degree, I got study scholarship for UK. I really loved my studying experience there.
• My last academic accomplishment is that I am currently serving successfully as the head of city’s biggest health institute.

Related Post:   BEST LINES & MORE SENTENCES ESSAY ON MY SCHOOL.

2. My Sports (Extracurricular) Achievements Essay

Extracurricular activities are the part of a healthy person. I always take pride in participating in various extracurricular activities in my school. There are a few extracurricular achievements I must be proud of.

•  My first extracurricular achievement was that I won a medal in annual inter schools speech and debates competition. I won first prize in class 5th.
• I am also an avid reader and good writer. My second extracurricular achievement was that I won a cash prize of 10,000 rupees on a essay writing competition. I won with my essay on “Save trees Save Earth” during inter schools essay writing competition. I was in 7th grade at that time.
• I have great interest in sports. I can play cricket very well. It was my biggest sports achievement that I helped my team win the tournament this year, in class 10th. I was awarded man of the match. It is a moment of pride and my greatest extracurricular success.

Achievements and success are the part of one’s life. These are my achievements in my school as a student. I feel a great sense of pride for my student life accomplishment. I will try my level best to add more best personal achievements in my coming life days.

3. Short Essay On My Achievements that I am Proud of

Achievements are the signs of good student life. They show the talent, the worth and the status of a student. To achieve something we work hard and we become focused. Therefore, we learn a lot of things like self discipline , hard work, dedication, self respect and motivation.

School life achievements are good and they must be the part of student’s life. I have a good many my school achievements. I must be proud of whatever I have achieved through out my personal life. I am the student of class (your current class). Currently I am studying at the school (Write the name of your school). Throughout my years of schools I have achieved valuable success.

I have some personal achievements, some academic achievements and a few extracurricular achievements. I have been a diligent and dedicated student of my school. In fact, I am the favorite student in my school. It is my greatest achievement that I have been getting A+ in all of my exams and assessments.

This achievement is in fact due to the hard work done under the guidance of my teachers and prayers of my parents. I always take interest in extracurricular activities. I am good speaker and good at playing cricket. It is my great extracurricular achievement that I secured first prize in inter schools debates and speech competition, held last month.

All of my school fellows and my teachers are proud of me. Apart from that I represented my team in annual inter schools cricket tournament. We successfully won the final match. It is my biggest sports achievement of student’s life. I will never forget.

I am grateful to my school teachers and my parents. Thanks to those achievements and set goals I struggled and worked hard. Thereby, I have known how to work hard and how to make achievements. My school achievements are surely going to help me to grow and gain more in my upcoming life days.

4. My School Achievements Paragraphs:

As a high school student, my school achievements hold a special place in my heart. They represent all the hard work, determination and passion that I have put into both academics and extracurricular activities.

One of my proudest achievements is being part of the school’s debate team. Being able to voice my opinions confidently and effectively has always been something I struggled with. However, with the help of my coaches and teammates, I was able to improve my public speaking skills and even won several regional and state-level competitions.

Apart from debating, I have also excelled in academics. Throughout high school, I have maintained a GPA of 4.0 and have been consistently ranked at the top of my class. This has not only brought me personal satisfaction but also earned me recognition from my teachers and peers.

In addition to academics, I have been actively involved in community service projects organized by my school. Through these initiatives, I have had the opportunity to give back to society and make a positive impact in my community. One of the most memorable moments was when our team raised funds for a local orphanage and spent an entire day playing and interacting with the children. It was a heartwarming experience that taught me the value of compassion and empathy.

Moreover, I have also been an active member of various clubs and organizations in school, such as the Interact Club and National Honor Society. These extracurricular activities have not only allowed me to explore my interests but also develop important leadership skills.

Overall, my school achievements have shaped me into the person I am today. They have taught me the importance of hard work, perseverance, and teamwork. I am grateful for all the opportunities that my school has provided me with and will always cherish the memories and lessons learned. However, I also understand that these achievements would not have been possible without the support and guidance of my teachers, parents, and peers. I am proud to be a part of such a supportive and nurturing community that values both academic excellence and personal growth.

5. Short Essay on My School Achievements as a Student:

My school life has been a roller coaster ride filled with ups and downs, but one thing that has remained constant is my determination to excel. Whether it was academics or extracurricular activities, I always pushed myself to be the best version of myself. As I look back on my journey, I am proud to say that my hard work and perseverance have paid off in the form of numerous achievements.

In terms of academics, I have always been a diligent student. I consistently topped my class and was awarded several academic excellence certificates. Along with maintaining good grades, I also actively participated in various school competitions like debates, elocution, and quizzes. These experiences not only helped improve my knowledge but also boosted my confidence.

Apart from academics, sports have always been a huge part of my life. I represented my school in various inter-school sports competitions and won several medals for both individual and team events. Being a part of the school’s sports teams also taught me important skills like teamwork, time management, and discipline.

Another achievement that I am extremely proud of is winning the title of “Best All-Rounder Student” in my school. This award is given to the student who excels in academics, sports, and extracurricular activities. It was a great feeling to be recognized for my overall performance and it motivated me to continue striving for excellence.

In conclusion, my school achievements as a student have not only brought me recognition but also shaped me into a well-rounded individual. I am grateful for all the opportunities my school provided me to showcase my talents and I will always cherish these memories. So, if you are a student reading this, remember to work hard and never give up on your dreams because your efforts will surely pay off in the end. Let your achievements speak for themselves!

6. Short Essay on My Greatest Accomplishment as a Student:

As a student, I have had the opportunity to learn and grow in various aspects of my life. However, if I were to choose one accomplishment that stands out above all others, it would be my ability to balance academics with extracurricular activities.

Throughout my academic journey, I have always been passionate about learning and achieving good grades. But at the same time, I also wanted to explore my interests in music, sports and volunteer work. Initially, it was challenging to juggle between academics and extracurriculars, but with determination and time management skills, I was able to excel in both areas.

One of the most significant milestones for me was when I received an award for academic excellence while simultaneously being recognized as the best athlete in the school. This achievement not only showcased my academic abilities but also highlighted my talent and dedication towards sports.

Moreover, I have always been drawn towards community service and making a positive impact in society. While balancing academics and extracurriculars, I actively participated in various volunteer projects, including organizing fundraisers for underprivileged children and contributing to environmental conservation efforts. Being able to balance my academic responsibilities and still make a difference in the community has been an incredibly fulfilling accomplishment for me.

In conclusion, balancing academics with extracurricular activities has been my greatest accomplishment as a student. It has taught me valuable lessons about time management, perseverance, and the importance of pursuing one’s passions.

This achievement not only reflects my hard work but also represents my holistic approach towards personal and academic growth. So, I encourage all students to strive for a balance between academics and extracurriculars, as it can lead to a well-rounded and fulfilling educational experience.

7. Short Achievement Essay For College:

As a college student, I have had my fair share of achievements and accomplishments. But one particular achievement stands out to me the most – being able to balance academics, extracurricular activities, and personal commitments.

During my high school years, I was always involved in various clubs and organizations such as student council, debate team, and community service groups. While these activities were fulfilling and allowed me to develop my skills in leadership, communication, and time management, they also required a significant amount of my time and energy. At the same time, I had to maintain good grades and prepare for college applications.

Juggling between these responsibilities was not an easy task, but it taught me invaluable lessons that have helped me succeed in college. I learned how to prioritize my tasks, manage my time effectively, and deal with pressure and stress. These skills are not only essential for academic success but also for personal growth.

Furthermore, being involved in extracurricular activities has allowed me to develop a diverse set of interests and expand my knowledge beyond the classroom. It has also helped me build strong relationships with my peers and mentors, which have been crucial in my personal and academic development.

Overall, I am proud of my ability to balance multiple commitments and still maintain a high level of achievement. It has not only helped me achieve success in college but also prepared me for the challenges of the real world. Through this experience, I have learned that hard work, determination, and time management are key factors in achieving one’s goals and making the most out of college life.

So, my advice to fellow college students would be to not only focus on academics but also explore opportunities outside the classroom and strive for a healthy balance in all aspects of your life. You will be surprised at how much you can achieve when you find that equilibrium. Cheers to achieving more accomplishments in the future!

8. Short Essay on I am Proud of My School Because:

I am a student of XYZ School, and I am proud to be a part of this institution. This school holds a special place in my heart because it has shaped me into the person I am today. It has not only provided me with academic knowledge but also taught me important life lessons that will stay with me forever.

One of the main reasons why I am proud of my school is because of its commitment to academic excellence. The teachers here are highly qualified and dedicated to their profession. They go above and beyond to ensure that we understand the concepts clearly and excel in our studies. Moreover, the school provides us with all the necessary resources to support our learning, including a well-stocked library, computer labs, and extracurricular activities.

This has helped me develop a love for learning and strive to do my best in all my academic pursuits.

Apart from academic excellence, my school also focuses on holistic development. It encourages students to participate in various extracurricular activities such as sports, music, art, and debates. These activities have not only helped me discover my interests but also taught me important values like teamwork, discipline, and time management.

Furthermore, my school promotes a culture of inclusivity and diversity. It celebrates different cultures and encourages students to respect each other’s differences. This has helped me develop an open-minded perspective and appreciate the uniqueness of every individual.

In conclusion, I am proud of my school because it not only provides quality education but also instills important values that will guide me throughout my life. It has given me a strong foundation to build upon and has prepared me to face the challenges of the future with confidence. I will always be grateful for the role my school has played in shaping me into a well-rounded individual.

9. Short Essay on High School Accomplishments:

My high school experience was filled with ups and downs, as I’m sure most people can relate to. However, despite the challenges, I am proud of the achievements I made during those years.

One of my biggest accomplishments in high school was becoming a member of the National Honor Society. This was a goal I had set for myself since freshman year, and achieving it in my junior year was a moment I will never forget. Being part of this prestigious organization not only recognized my academic achievements but also allowed me to give back to the community through various service projects.

Another achievement that holds a special place in my heart is winning first place in the state science fair. Science has always been a passion of mine, and being able to showcase my research and receive recognition for it was an incredibly rewarding experience.

But my high school achievements weren’t just limited to academics. I also excelled in sports, particularly on the varsity soccer team. My team and I won multiple championships, and being a part of such a close-knit group taught me valuable lessons about teamwork and perseverance.

Lastly, I am proud of how much I grew as an individual during my high school years. From overcoming personal obstacles to taking on leadership roles in various clubs and organizations, I learned the importance of resilience and adaptability.

Overall, my high school achievements are a testament to the hard work and determination I put into everything I do. They have shaped me into the person I am today and will continue to inspire me as I embark on new challenges in the future. So, I encourage all high schoolers to set goals for themselves and never give up on achieving them, because the satisfaction of success is truly worth it. Now go out there and make your own high school achievements! The sky’s the limit!

10. Short Essay on My Great Achievement in Life:

Everyone has their own opinion on what constitutes as a greatest achievement in life. Some may view landing their dream job or marrying the love of their life as their biggest accomplishment, while others may see personal growth and overcoming obstacles as theirs. For me, my greatest achievement in life is something that I never thought was possible and it’s something that has shaped me into the person I am today.

Growing up, I struggled with self-confidence and always felt like I wasn’t good enough. This led me to constantly doubt myself and my abilities, which ultimately hindered my personal growth. However, a few years ago, I made a conscious effort to break out of this mindset and started taking small steps towards self-improvement.

One of the biggest challenges for me was to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. It was terrifying at first, but I slowly started seeing the positive impact it had on my life. I began to gain confidence in myself and my abilities, which allowed me to take on bigger challenges without fear or hesitation.

But the moment that truly solidified this as my greatest achievement was when I decided to pursue something that I never thought I could do – running a marathon. Despite never being a runner, I trained for months and pushed myself to the limit on race day. Crossing that finish line was one of the most empowering experiences of my life and it’s something that I will always cherish.

This achievement taught me that with determination, hard work, and self-belief, anything is possible. It also showed me that my greatest achievements in life are not just about reaching a specific goal, but the journey and growth that comes with it. I am proud of where I am today and I am excited to see what other challenges and accomplishments lie ahead. So, my greatest achievement in life isn’t just one moment or event, but rather an ongoing journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

11. Short Results Day Speech:

Hello everyone,

Today is a very special day for all of us. It’s Results Day! I can see the excitement and nervousness in each one of your faces. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel because I have been there myself.

Firstly, congratulations to all the students who have received their results. Your hard work and dedication has paid off and you should be proud of yourselves. Your journey has just begun and you have achieved a major milestone.

For those who may not have received the results they were hoping for, it’s important to remember that this is not the end. There will be other opportunities and challenges in your life, and this is just one small part of your journey.

I want to remind all of you that success is not defined by a piece of paper. It’s about your attitude, determination and resilience in the face of challenges. Your grades do not define you, but rather your character and values.

As you move forward, remember to always believe in yourself and never give up on your dreams. Celebrate your achievements today, but also continue to strive for excellence in everything you do.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and I have no doubt that each one of you will go on to do great things. Congratulations once again and keep reaching for the stars!

12. Short Essay on My Achievement in School as a Teacher:

As a teacher, my ultimate goal is to inspire and empower my students to reach their full potential. Every day, I strive to create a positive learning environment where my students feel motivated and encouraged to learn. Over the years, I have had many accomplishments as a teacher, but one that stands out to me the most is the impact I have made on my students.

During my time as a teacher, I have seen numerous students who struggled with their studies and lacked confidence in themselves. These students often felt discouraged and believed that they were not capable of achieving success. However, with patience, hard work, and dedication, I was able to help these students overcome their obstacles and witness them excel in their academics.

My achievement as a teacher is not just measured by the grades my students receive, but also by the positive changes I see in them. It brings me great joy to see my students grow not only academically, but also as individuals. I have had students come back to me years later and tell me how much of an impact I had on their lives, which is truly humbling.

As a teacher, I have learned that every student has their own unique learning style and it is my responsibility to cater to each one of them. I constantly adapt my teaching methods to ensure all my students are engaged and understand the material. This approach has not only helped me achieve success as a teacher, but also helped create a lifelong love for learning in my students.

In conclusion, my greatest achievement as a teacher is the positive impact I have made on my students’ lives. Being able to inspire and empower them to reach their full potential has been an incredibly rewarding experience. As a teacher, I am constantly learning and growing alongside my students, and I look forward to many more achievements in the years to come.

1. What are some accomplishments for school?

Answer: School accomplishments can include academic achievements, sports achievements, leadership roles, community service, awards, or recognition for various school-related activities.

2. How to start an accomplishment essay?

Answer: Begin an accomplishment essay with a strong, attention-grabbing introduction. You can use a compelling anecdote, a significant event, or a personal reflection related to the accomplishment you want to discuss.

3. What are your target achievements for this school year?

Answer: Your target achievements for the school year can vary, but they may include improving grades, getting involved in extracurricular activities, aiming for leadership roles, or setting personal goals for self-improvement.

4. Should I include high school achievements on my resume?

Answer: It’s generally a good idea to include significant high school achievements on your resume if you’re a recent graduate or if they are directly relevant to the job you’re applying for. However, as you gain more work experience, these high school achievements can be phased out in favor of more recent and relevant accomplishments

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Essay About Achievements: Top 5 Examples and 6 Prompts

Are you having problems writing your essay about achievements? Then, continue reading this article for samples and prompts to guide you in your writing.

Achievement influences our expectations and self-growth. It’s also often connected with an individual’s progress in life. It gives way for recognition in attaining a goal through standards. 

Achievement acknowledges successes, productiveness, and involvement. But sometimes, achieving doesn’t result in a feeling of satisfaction. Writing an achievement essay is usually based on experiences from yourself or others. You can explore different viewpoints, such as what they consider an “achievement,” how to overcome weaknesses, or why they want a specific achievement. Below are 5 examples and 6 writing prompts to assist you in your essay:

1. The Greatest Achievements In Life by Gerard Reese

2. greatest professional or academic achievement by james taylor , 3. essay on achievements from my professional life by bdoan, 4. my accomplishment by taylor wood, 5. when my weakness became my greatest accomplishment by jay merrill logan, 6 writing prompts on essay about achievements, 1. ways to achieve within different settings, 2. achievements in the small things, 3. how to build confidence, 4. the power of overcoming fear, 5. steps to be successful, 6. guide to building a strong character.

“Nobody succeeds on the first try, we take our mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes are the things that help us strive for greatness, which is why failure should not be viewed as something negative, but more as something we can use to attain [what] we want in life.”

Reese’s piece on achievement talks about learning from failure and trying again until you reach success. Time and failure are contributors to our achievements. He emphasizes that failure can be a steward and teacher to help us get where we want to be. He also provides lists of individuals who encountered crises in their lives until they reached their most successful phases. 

“My father always instilled in me the importance of education. He knew very well that in order for his children to be successful he needed to set them up for success and place them in a position where we would be afforded the opportunity to succeed.”

Family significantly impacts one’s interpretation of what achievements are about. Taylor’s essay highlights the idea of what his father taught him about education and success. He mentions how he embarked through life while keeping his father’s acknowledgment of his potential in the field he has chosen. His essay shows that family shapes one’s belief about what’s considered a successful life.

“I consider the experience in Japan as a big achievement and an important step in my career. The fact that I could master the complex situation gave me much self-confidence and showed that I could manage people successfully even in difficult situations. Today, this unique ability of handling teams attributed me as a strong leader for my people.”

Bdoan’s essay focuses on past experiences and how she handled cultural differences and beliefs, leading to her successful professional life. To achieve fulfillment in work, she breaks the barrier, communicates effectively, and embraces Japanese culture, which she set as a significant setting stone in her career life.

“Through the influence of my best friend, I have motivated myself to spend two hours during the night before I go to sleep to master the lessons the teacher has discussed in class. This helped me greatly since I would no longer have to cram and study everything for the exams later.”

Wood’s essay highlights the external factors that contributed to his achievements. External factors can lead a person to success or frustration. Through a piece of great advice, he changed his lifestyle by allowing himself to move forward and build a quality life. He compares this to Newton’s First law of motion, which he quoted and put at the beginning of his essay.

“…the more I thought about my own greatest personal academic achievement, I realized it was simply getting an A in a college history class my freshman year. Succeeding in this upper-level history class set the tone for all my future college courses and gave me the confidence I needed to achieve greatness, and I am not even a history major.”

Logan talks about his worst subject, History. He recounts how he approached his professor and overcame his weakness. This essay points out that words from others can influence self-growth and confidence. He says he developed faith in his study during college and attained his most outstanding accomplishment.

Are you having problems connecting your ideas smoothly? See this guide on transition words for essays.

After reading through the samples above, it’s time to explore your desired achievement subjects. Here are six prompts about achievements you can use:

Everyone sets expectations for themselves, dependent on the environment they’re in. It can be at work, school, or home. In these cases, the result is just as important as the process.

You can focus your essay on a relatable viewpoint, such as a student who wants to get A+ grades or an office worker who wants to get the Employee of the Month Award. Discuss ways they can excel in their surroundings. Your essay will serve as a guide to help them grow personally and professionally.

Achievements don’t need to be grand. Sometimes, simply getting out of bed is an achievement, especially for those suffering from mental illnesses such as depression. Center your essay on the simple things that can be considered achievements in their way. 

Your essay will not only serve as a reminder that it’s essential to appreciate the small things. It will also comfort those who are going through a hard time.

This topic asks you to highlight the relationship between confidence and achievements. You can interview someone confident in themselves. Ask for tips on building confidence and relay them to your readers while explaining the opportunities they can get by believing in themselves more.

In this busy world, fear is one of the most significant setbacks for people in accomplishing their goals in life. In this essay, you can explain to your readers how acknowledging their fears will help them advance.  

You can also conceptualize the effect of anxiety in achieving your desires and help you set your standard in developing self-growth. Feel free to share your experience with fears and how you plan to deal with them.

To be successful is everyone’s goal. However, sharing steps and tips on how to achieve success is general prompt many writes about. To make your piece stand out, you can tailor it to a group of individuals. For example, a student’s image of success is going on stage and graduating with honors.

Someone’s character is critical to achieving achievements. You can write about a well-known individual who went against the usual route of how success is reached. Such as Steve Jobs, who founded Apple but was a college dropout. 

There are many ways to reach a goal. Tell your readers that they don’t need to follow the conventional method of accomplishing things to get their hands on the achievements they crave.

Do you want to be more confident with your writing? Here are 11 essay writing tips you need to learn today!

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Essays on Academic Achievements

Brief description of academic achievements.

Academic achievements encompass a wide range of accomplishments in the academic realm, including but not limited to academic awards, research publications, academic presentations, and other notable achievements in educational settings. These achievements demonstrate a student's commitment to excellence, dedication to learning, and mastery of academic subjects.

Importance ... Read More Brief Description of Academic Achievements

Importance of writing essays on this topic.

Essays on academic achievements are significant as they provide an opportunity for students to reflect on their educational journey, showcase their accomplishments, and highlight the impact of their academic pursuits on their personal and professional development. Writing about academic achievements also allows students to share their experiences, challenges, and triumphs, inspiring others and contributing to the academic discourse.

Tips on Choosing a Good Topic

• Reflect on personal growth: Choose a topic that showcases your growth, challenges overcome, and lessons learned in your academic journey.
• Highlight unique accomplishments: Select a topic that highlights a specific academic achievement that sets you apart from others.
• Connect to future goals: Consider topics that align with your future academic or career aspirations, demonstrating relevance and foresight in your essay.

Essay Topics

• The impact of academic achievements on personal development
• Overcoming academic challenges and achieving success
• The role of mentorship in academic accomplishments
• Academic achievements and their influence on career prospects
• The significance of academic awards and recognitions
• Balancing academic achievements with extracurricular activities
• The value of research publications in academic achievements
• Reflecting on academic achievements in a reflective essay
• The impact of academic achievements on self-esteem and confidence
• The role of perseverance in academic success

Concluding Thought

Writing essays on academic achievements provides an opportunity for self-reflection, celebration of accomplishments, and sharing valuable insights with others. By exploring the diverse facets of academic achievements through writing, students can gain a deeper understanding of their educational journey and contribute to the broader conversation on academic excellence. Dive into the world of academic achievements through essay writing and uncover the profound impact of your scholarly pursuits.

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Academic achievement represents performance outcomes that indicate the extent to which a person has accomplished specific goals that were the focus of activities in instructional environments, specifically in school, college, and university.

Academic success is important because it is strongly linked to the positive outcomes. Adults who are academically successful and with high levels of education are more likely to be employed, have stable employment, have more employment opportunities than those with less education and earn higher salaries, are more likely to have health insurance, are less dependent on social assistance, are less likely to engage in criminal activity, are more active as citizens and charitable volunteers and are healthier and happier.

Relevant topics

• Studying Abroad
• Academic Interests
• Critical Thinking
• Stem Education
• Importance of Education
• Middle School
• High School
• Physical Education
• College Experience

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39 Academic Achievement Examples

An academic achievement is any recognized success you may have achieved in an educational context, that you might be able to present on a resume or scholarship application as evidence of your academic skills and unique academic strengths .

When presenting academic achievements, it’s often the case that prestige is the most important feature. Academic institutions are very hierarchical, where awards of degrees and scholarships tend to be tiered based upon how exclusive the achievement was, and how prestigious an institution it comes from.

Nevertheless, any achievement can be presented as positive and worthy of demonstrating your academic skillset, and might give you a leg-up when interviewing for a new job. For example, oftentimes, it’s best to present a relevant achievement over and above a prestigious one.

Below are some examples of academic achievements that you could present on a resume, scholarship application, etc.

Academic Achievement Examples

Examples for undergraduates and below, 1. your school grades.

For those of you just starting out, one thing you can do is reflect back on your grades as a student in high school (for the Brits among us, your A-Levels work, or for the Americans, your AP grades).

If you got great grades in certain subjects that are highly relevant to the position you’re applying for, highlight how those subjects are your strengths, and that objective tests have demonstrated this.

2. Winning a Scholarship

Winning a scholarship, which might be as simple as one that helped pay for your books during your undergraduate degree, or as prestigious as a Rhodes Scholarship or the Fulbright Scholarship, can demonstrate that you’ve been tapped as a promising student.

List your scholarships from most to least important, and include the conferring institution and cash value of the scholarship.

When interviewed about the scholarship, discuss how it demonstrates not only your promise as a scholar, but also your potential to make meaningful contributions to your field of study or society at large.

3. Receiving an Academic Award or Prize

An academic prize or award is something you receive as recognition for your achievements or successes as a student.

For example, you might receive an award or prize that demonstrates that you were toward the top of your class, or that you were tapped as a promising student.

Also consider awards and prizes that you received for entering contests, such as essay writing contests or even a science fair.

Winning an academic award can significantly boost your profile and open up further opportunities for advancement.

4. Leadership in an Academic Club or Society

Serving in a leadership role in an academic club or society demonstrates a student’s commitment to extracurricular learning and their ability to lead others.

This might include roles such as President of the Debate Team, Editor of a university journal, or Chair of a student-led seminar series.

These roles require skills in team management, problem-solving, and communication – all of which are highly valuable in a professional setting.

5. Participation in a Study Abroad Program

Taking part in a study abroad program shows a willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone and an ability to adapt to new environments.

This experience can also indicate language skills and a global perspective, both of which are valuable in many professional settings.

In addition, study abroad programs often involve navigating complex logistics, which can demonstrate problem-solving and organizational skills , which are all desirable for future employers.

6. Tutoring or Mentoring Experience

Serving as a tutor or mentor shows a mastery of a particular subject area, as well as a commitment to helping others succeed.

This experience can also demonstrate the ability to explain complex topics in understandable ways, patience, and a propensity for leadership.

These skills are valuable in many job settings, especially roles that require clear communication, team collaboration, and management abilities.

7. Completion of an Internship or Co-op Position

Completing an internship or co-op position during undergraduate studies is a significant achievement that can help bridge the gap between academic studies and the professional world.

These experiences provide students with an opportunity to apply their academic knowledge in a real-world setting and develop professional skills.

In addition, having this experience on a resume can make a candidate more appealing to potential employers, as it indicates that they have practical experience in their field of study.

8. Certifications

Even if you haven’t been to university, you may be able to recall a time you received a certification, such as when you participated in a continuing education certification for your workplace.

Make sure it’s a certification that has some academic merit, such as requiring you to sit an exam. Even better, if you can present one that comes with an officially recognized ‘seal’ such as a red seal for a trade, you could frame this as academic, especially if you had to go to a continuing education institution and learn theory to gain this certification.

Other Undergraduate Achievement Examples:

• Class President / Class Representative
• Competitions and Contests (e.g. science fair)
• Extracurricular Activities (e.g. captain of a sports team)
• Foreign language certifications
• Leadership positions (e.g. class prefect, school captain)
• Memberships (e.g. Acceptance as a member of a student group)
• National / state awards
• Nominations for awards
• Student life participation and organization (e.g. organizing an event for a club)
• Perfect attendance award
• Sitting on the student council
• Publications in the school newspaper
• Volunteering in an academic context

Examples for Graduates

22. earning a degree.

Achieving a university degree, whether it’s an associate, bachelor’s, master’s, or doctorate, is a significant academic milestone.

This achievement is a testament to your intellectual acumen, as well as a wide range of soft skills such as determination, ability to self-regulate and manage your time, and your capacity to undertake rigorous study.

The degree subject can also reflect your area of expertise and align with the role you’re applying for, which is often the baseline for getting that interview you’re after.

When presenting your degree, mention the conferring institution and the skills you gained during your course of study. If you earned your degree with honors, be sure to mention that as well.

23. Earning a Continuing Education Certificate

Gaining a certificate through continuing education programs is another notable accomplishment. This might be a postgraduate certificate of diploma that’s not as extensive as a degree, but does show your commitment to continuing professional development.

A continuing education certificate shows your commitment to lifelong learning and your eagerness to expand your knowledge and skills.

These certificates, which can range from professional development courses to specialized skill training, signal your proactive attitude and ability to adapt to evolving industry trends.

24. Completion of a Significant Capstone Project

Many degree programs require a capstone project in the final year, which is an opportunity for students to apply and showcase the knowledge and skills they have acquired throughout their studies.

This might be an embedded honors project, or a research projected wherein you had to collect empirical evidence and present a thesis.

A successfully completed capstone project that addresses a real-world problem or contributes to a specific field of study can demonstrate that you’re able to engage in academic thinking and writing, think critically , and compose a thorough research project using a recognized qualitative or quantitative scientific methodology.

25. Graduation with Honors

Graduating with honors, such as summa cum laude, magna cum laude, or cum laude, is a significant academic achievement.

These Latin phrases, awarded based on grade point average or other academic criteria, are universally recognized symbols of academic excellence.

Graduating with honors shows a sustained commitment to hard work , intellectual growth, and academic success throughout one’s undergraduate or graduate studies.

26. Completion of a Research Assistant Project

Working as a research assistant and successfully completing a research project displays your ability to delve into complex topics, undertake detailed analysis, and contribute to the field of knowledge.

It also indicates your skills in collaboration, problem-solving, and critical thinking.

When listing this accomplishment, provide a brief overview of the project, the methodologies used, and any significant findings or results.

If your research led to a publication or presentation at a conference, make sure to include that as well.

(Note: If you want this achievement, reach out to as many professors as you can and see if they have upcoming RA positions available. Often, you’ll find there are a lot of professors wanting an RA but not actively putting out job postings for one.)

Examples for Postgraduates and Above

27. publication in a peer-reviewed journal.

Academic publishing is a significant achievement, particularly in fields where knowledge is primarily disseminated through scholarly journals.

When a student or scholar publishes original research or a review article in a reputable, peer-reviewed journal, it demonstrates their ability to conduct thorough research, critically analyze data, and contribute valuable knowledge to their field.

This achievement is highly regarded in academic and professional circles as it shows a high level of expertise and commitment to advancing the discipline.

28. Research Grant Award

Receiving a research grant, especially from a reputable institution or government body, is a significant accomplishment.

Such grants are usually awarded based on the quality and potential impact of the proposed research.

Winning a research grant indicates the recipient’s ability to design, propose, and possibly carry out valuable research in their field.

This accomplishment can provide the means to pursue further groundbreaking research, thereby bolstering the recipient’s academic standing.

29. Successful Defense of a Doctoral Thesis

Successfully defending a doctoral thesis or dissertation is an essential achievement in the journey of an academic.

This feat signifies the completion of a comprehensive piece of original research and contributes new knowledge to a field of study.

It requires years of dedication, intensive research, and critical thinking, culminating in a rigorous defense before a committee of experts in the field.

Upon successful defense, the candidate is usually awarded a doctoral degree, marking them as an authority in their area of research.

30. Acceptance into a Top-Tier Graduate Program

Gaining acceptance into a top-tier graduate program is a significant academic achievement.

Such programs are highly competitive and selective, often choosing candidates based on their academic record, research experience, and professional potential.

Being accepted into one of these programs is recognition of a student’s potential to succeed in advanced studies and make a substantial contribution to their field.

31. Presentation at a Major Conference

Being selected to present research findings at a significant academic conference is an important achievement.

These conferences gather top scholars in the field, and being chosen to present demonstrates that the research is seen as valuable and noteworthy by peers.

This accomplishment showcases the presenter’s ability to contribute meaningful discourse and their potential as a thought leader in their academic field.

32. Appointment to a University Faculty Position

Being appointed to a faculty position at a university is an academic achievement that signifies a high level of expertise and recognition in one’s field.

This position requires a record of successful research and teaching, and the competition is often intense.

Being chosen for a faculty role indicates that the university believes in the individual’s ability to contribute to the institution’s educational mission and to the advancement of knowledge in their discipline.

33. Development of a New Course or Curriculum

Designing and implementing a new course or curriculum at a university is a significant academic accomplishment.

This task requires a deep understanding of the subject matter, as well as the ability to design a structured, comprehensive, and engaging learning experience for students.

This achievement indicates a scholar’s dedication to education and their ability to contribute to improving academic programs in their field.

34. Taking a Role as Course Leader

After getting my first academic position, I told the head of my school that I wanted a course leader role as soon as one came available.

I soon was offered the position of course leader for the Masters of Education course at my university. I knew that this would look great on my resume.

A course leader role demonstrates that you can be a leader in academic contexts, overseeing a course to ensure it’s rigorous and up-to-date, and matches state or national certification requirements so that graduates can be recognized as having a degree required for getting a job in a specific field – in my situation, as teachers.

35. Guest Editing an Academic Journal Edition

Another academic achievement that I worked hard to receive in my first few years on the job was to become the guest editor for an edition of an academic journal.

I emailed academic journals and pitched my ideas, and I got one who came back to me – the Australasian Journal of Educational Technology . I edited the special issue on Cognitive Tools .

This achievement helped to establish me as someone who could successfully manage and oversee the blind peer review process, which subsequently got me a continuing job as a journal editor, which for me was the Journal of Learning Developers in Higher Education .

36. Citations to Your Publications

Citations to your publications can demonstrate that your research is having an impact in your academic community, and that it is contributing meaningfully to the field.

To find all the citations to your publications, go to google scholar and look up your name (or, create a google scholar account).

Here is mine:

Based on this, I can demonstrate that my research has achieved some traction, and this is of course a demonstrable achievement!

Other examples for postgraduates and above:

• Sitting as a Journal Editor
• Sitting as a Peer Reviewer
• Writing a Book Chapter

Even if you don’t feel you’ve had some academic achievements, it turns out once you’ve looked at the above example, you’ll likely have a few achievements under your belt. If you’re looking to advance yourself in an academic context, it’s best to stick your neck out and actively try to obtain further achievements, such as by applying for a research assistant position or working as a peer reviewer for a journal. This (often, unfortunately, underpaid work) can help you to get another step ahead of your competition when looking for a job that requires extensive academic skills.

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ 15 Self-Actualization Examples (Maslow's Hierarchy)
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ Forest Schools Philosophy & Curriculum, Explained!
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ Montessori's 4 Planes of Development, Explained!
• Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ Montessori vs Reggio Emilia vs Steiner-Waldorf vs Froebel

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how to start an essay discussing a personal accomplishment.

I need to write an essay about an accomplishment that I'm proud of. Can anyone share some pointers or a structure for this type of essay? Looking for advice on what to include and how to make it stand out.

Certainly! To effectively write about a personal accomplishment, you want to create a compelling narrative that not only highlights your achievement but also provides insight into who you are. Here's a general outline to help you structure your essay:

1. Engaging introduction: Begin your essay with a hook that instantly grabs the reader's attention. Try implementing in media res, where you begin in the middle of the action of a story. Aim to give the reader an immediate sense of what your accomplishment is and why it matters to you.

2. Context and background: To give the reader a clear understanding of your achievement, provide some background information about the situation, challenges you faced, and your initial motivations. This section allows the reader to better grasp the significance of your accomplishment and what it took to achieve it.

3. Journey towards the accomplishment: Describe the process of working towards your goal, focusing on the key steps, challenges, and breakthroughs. Be sure to highlight your personal growth, lessons learned, and skill development throughout this journey. Showcase your dedication, perseverance, and problem-solving abilities.

4. Climactic moment: Discuss the moment you achieved your goal, making sure to emphasize the emotions you experienced and the sense of accomplishment that came with it. This is the high point of your story, so make it as vivid and engaging as possible.

5. Reflection and personal growth: In the conclusion, reflect on the significance of your accomplishment and how it has shaped you as a person. Address how this experience has impacted your future aspirations, values, and perspective on life. Avoid clichés and strive for deep, genuine reflection.

To make your essay stand out, infuse your personal voice and unique perspective throughout the piece. Be authentic in your storytelling and dig deep into your emotions, thoughts, and experiences. Paint a vivid picture of your journey by using sensory details and descriptive language. By doing so, you'll craft a memorable and engaging essay that showcases not just your accomplishment but also the person behind it.

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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What Students Are Saying About Their Proudest Accomplishments

Our weekly Current Events Conversation is back. To begin the new school year, we asked teenagers, What accomplishments are you most proud of?

By The Learning Network

What is the difference between achievement and accomplishment? In the guest essay “ What We Lose When We Push Our Kids to ‘Achieve,’ ” Adam Gopnik explains:

Achievement is the completion of the task imposed from outside — the reward often being a path to the next achievement. Accomplishment is the end point of an engulfing activity we’ve chosen, whose reward is the sudden rush of fulfillment, the sense of happiness that rises uniquely from absorption in a thing outside ourselves.

To begin the new school year, we invited students to read Mr. Gopnik’s essay and then tell us: What Accomplishments Are You Most Proud Of?

They talked about learning Japanese, taking up running and spending hours practicing the saxophone of their own volition. “Whenever I do something on my own, it feels so much more rewarding when I succeed,” one student said. But they were also aware of the power that parents, teachers and coaches had to motivate them, while being wary of the potential for that motivation to turn into pressure. Read the discussion below.

Students, are you wondering how you can get your comment featured? It’s easy. Just reply to any of our writing prompts throughout the week. We publish a new one each school day. On Thursdays, we round up a selection of comments from one of those prompts in this column, our Current Events Conversation .

Thank you to all those who got the conversation started this week, including students from Hoggard High School in Wilmington, N.C. ; Glenbard West High School in Glen Ellyn, Ill. ; and West Plains High School in West Plains, Mo.

Please note: Student comments have been lightly edited for length, but otherwise appear as they were originally submitted.

Students shared their accomplishments in a variety of aspects of their lives, including sports …

I agree with Gopnik on the difference between achievement and accomplishment. Whenever I do something on my own, it feels so much more rewarding when I succeed. What’s more, whenever I am forced to do something, it becomes something I dread, even if I would have done it on my own.

My biggest accomplishment is running. It’s a task that at first seems painful, menial, and boring; yet I choose to do it every day. For me, the true enjoyment in running comes from going out every day despite the challenges and seeing how that work manifests in faster and faster times. This would be completely undermined by extrinsic motivation. Instead of choosing to go out and push through pain, I would do the bare minimum I had to. I probably wouldn’t improve as much, and if I did, it wasn’t my work, my sacrifice, it was simply the result of my circumstances.

— Liam, Glenbard West High School

When I was in 4th or 5th grade, I was obsessed with being an animator. I eventually discovered the concept of flipbooks and I knew I had to do it, so I took it upon myself to buy sticky notes and got to work. I made A TON of flipbook animations over the course of a few months to a year and in hindsight it took a lot of work and time and energy but my ambition and passion fueled me to make really interesting, creative, and in my opinion, impressive, fun short stories. My artistic creations have been MUCH less compared to that time and I genuinely think it’s taking a toll on my happiness, so I’ll say in a hopeful tone my second best accomplishment in advance: Getting my visual art creative mojo back by drawing very day for a month.

— Sterling, Fayetteville, North Carolina

When I was twelve, I finished writing my first long story. Writing had never come into my head as something I would do; it never was a part of my life. But the pandemic left me needing to express myself, so my emotions poured out every day I worked on that story. It took me a month to finish the entire thing, but it got great reviews from my friends, which got me writing more and more. And to this day, it’s my most memorable accomplishment.

— Shekina, Philippines

Ever since I was a kid, I really enjoyed watching anime (Japanese animation). These cartoons introduced me to Japanese and ever since then, I have loved it. If I wasn’t watching a YouTube video (for example “how to learn Japanese for beginners”), I was using Duolingo (at one point I had a 50 day streak). I tried it all! This eventually helped me convince my parents to sign me up for Japanese lessons. During the pandemic, it took a while to find a teacher available, but I kept nudging.

Mr. Gopnik writes that his own ambition to play the guitar gave him such genuine happiness and fulfillment, it stuck with him. I can relate. The happiness he experienced, I feel every time I pick up my pen to try something new in Japanese. I started in 8th grade so I have been studying for about 2 years, the excitement never seems to dwindle. What makes this one of my biggest accomplishments thus far is that it started with me, not anyone else.

— Morgane, Hoggard High School

At the end of my freshman year I decided I missed music and I was going to learn a new instrument. My parents got me a saxophone and I would spend hours in my room on YouTube trying to figure it out. I was bad. I could not play notes consistently and definitely could not play songs. I kept practicing all summer and started to play simple songs. When I finally joined a band in school my sophomore year, I was by far not the best. But with the help of my peers, and teacher, I slowly started to sound better and better. By the end of the year, I could play all the songs I wanted to. To others it might not seem like a big accomplishment, as many people can play an instrument, but having to catch up to others that have been playing for years took a lot of practice. Now I can confidently say that I can play the saxophone and it encourages me to continue learning about topics that interest me.

— Kristin, Illinois

The sense of fulfillment after completing something that I put a lot of effort into is most meaningful to me. For example, when I was younger I wanted to buy a game that cost $60 yet I had neither a job nor did I have money. I complained to my dad about it so he tasked me with moving a towering pile of rotting wood from the backyard to the front. After a couple days of labor I had finally completed the job yet my mind was so set on accomplishing my duties that I didn’t care about the game anymore. The real reward for me was completing the work. That is what accomplishment means to me.

— Joseph, Block 1, Hoggard High School

One accomplishment of mine that I feel most proud of is my job. I am a caddie at a private country club. I started out with absolutely no knowledge about golf, and was terrified to talk to adults. I pushed myself to get out of bed at 6am almost every summer morning and go work. Through my job, I have learned to work extremely hard — I have had to go in when it is 100 degrees. I have developed incredible connections with members and they have taught me so many valuable lessons. This summer I got promoted and felt immensely accomplished as I started out with nothing, but have gotten so much out of this job.

— Ella, Glenbard West

and daily life.

You shouldn’t live to impress someone all the time; you should live to feel free and enjoy your time. Your time won’t be enjoyed when you’re living to impress someone. I feel I’ve achieved a few things in life. I learned how to play the flute, I got a job, I have my own car I’m paying for, and I made it to state for a band competition. These are a few things I would consider an accomplishment. I didn’t do these things because I wanted to impress someone or because my parents wanted me to, I did these things because that’s what I wanted to do and that’s how I want to spend my life.

— Madison, Missouri

When it comes to accomplishments, most people say “my education!” or “my friends!” And yes, those are very important accomplishments, but what I’m most proud of is that I can get up in the morning and start the day. Just doing that can lead to better grades, more friends and more experiences. Everyday is different, and waking up can be hard. That’s why I take it as an accomplishment, because accomplishments aren’t easy to achieve.

— Lola, New York

They also pointed out that the difference between achievement and accomplishment isn’t always so clear cut. Sometimes, a personal triumph can start with a push.

When my mother pushed me to play soccer and go surfing when I was younger, I was so young that all I cared about was having fun. Eventually, all of her pushing caused me to walk away, and I gave up on both. As I’ve gotten older and started both activities again, my vision has become clearer. Your parents should encourage you to succeed in things, but not to the extent that you lose your sense of accomplishment and joy from the activity. I regret not continuing to play soccer and surfing since years of practice were wasted, but I am aware that if I had been pushed further, I would have given up and never returned. I’d like to be able to say that a 7-year-old can be motivated enough to practice anything on their own and become good at it, but I’d be lying because it’s too easy to give up when no one is pushing you, and your parent is the perfect person to push you. Throughout my life I have had so many more achievements than accomplishments, but to me they’re almost the same thing and I’m proud of both.

— Emily, North Carolina

At the ripe age of four years old, I was pressured to begin a chapter of my life, music. Although I was in love with music at a young age, no young child has the mental capacity to choose to play the violin knowing it bears an impact on you for the rest of your life. I was locked in my room for hours at a time for “required” practice every day, losing interest until I finally found love for this art. The enormous investment of both time and money finally paid off as achievements began stacking up: rookie of the year, concertmaster, and recipient of numerous scholarships for summer programs. Soon enough, this chore that was once pushed upon me was a part of my identity and became a passion. Beyond that, through struggle and achievement, this burden that I used to dread turned into a relief to my problems that I was willing to devote my time to, knowing it was helping me in the long run. As someone who now chooses how to use my time, I understand the value the violin has in my life and appreciate my parents pushing me, knowing that it has had an everlasting effect on my future.

— Tobias, Glenbard West High School

I can thank my parents for always supporting me and pushing me to be the best version of myself. They have shaped me into the hardworking and dedicated person that I am today. Without them, I would not be able to face my fears and persevere through the hard times in life. In January, I had to have a spinal fusion to help my scoliosis get to a healthy range. My parents were there for me through the fear and struggles of the recovery process. My biggest accomplishment today is being able to say that I persevered through the cries and hardships of the intense surgery and long recovery time. Others may not understand how hard the journey was, but I am proud to share how far I have come and the bright future ahead of me.

— Mary, Glenbard West

For years, a core part of my identity was being a competitive swimmer. My experience as a swimmer envelops both the achievement and accomplishment that Mr. Gopnik describes: my parents signed me up for the swim team when I was in fourth grade, but in sixth grade, I made my own choice to start competing at meets.

From there, my swimming continued to be a push-and-pull of achievements and accomplishments. In practice, my coach would challenge me to swim difficult sets and grow stronger. Some of these sets would seem impossible to me, and I would go into them believing that I wasn’t capable of them, and yet: sometimes, I was able to complete them successfully. These imposed challenges (achievements) may not have been fun to me at the time, but the rush I would feel once completing them taught me invaluable lessons: the belief in myself, and the discipline to always persevere, even in the face of seemingly impossible odds.

And there were accomplishments too, that I wanted for myself: to keep on improving at meets, to get fast enough to qualify for more meets. Nobody asked this of me, nobody expected it, but myself. And yet: this unwavering mindset of demanding constant improvement from myself is what drove me out of the sport six years later. For all the accomplishments that I’ve made in swimming, and the goals that I’ve achieved, there was never an endpoint or fulfillment. Accomplishment or achievement: both mean nothing if they lack true fulfillment.

— K L, Fountain Valley High School

And they lamented on what is lost when their whole lives become about achieving “the next big thing.”

I believe that in today’s culture we as people do focus too much on achievements. When Gopnik explains this rat race in detail he says that each time we reach our achievements it’s like the rat finding the sugar droplet to only move on to the next. This analogy works so well because as a student who was raised in this culture to strive for achievement I know that hunting for achievement after achievement is like going around and around in circles looking for the smallest success to try to find reason in this achievement hunting. When in all truthfulness I know that this achievement hunting won’t get me anywhere. All it will do is fill time. It won’t make me who I am supposed to be. I think the worst part about being molded into achievement hunting is that I often don’t know what my accomplishments are. I often think that what other people want to see me do is what I want to do. I am a rat in this labyrinth desperately searching for that next hit of sugar water. However I do think that this aimless running around has helped me be the best that I could be from an outsider perspective. I believe that this constant pressure from outside forces has made me a better student academically but not able to collect the pieces of life that make it worth slowing down and enjoying.

— Konner, John T. Hoggard High School

There is definitely a line between pushing your kids because you want them to do well or because you know they could do better and pushing them because they aren’t doing what you want. I have heard many stories about parents pushing their kids to do extracurricular activities that they don’t want to do just because they never got to do it when they were a kid. All of this is typically hidden behind sayings like “I do this because I care” or “I never got these opportunities so you need to take advantage of them.”

— Alannah, West Plains

Have you ever gone running? Have you ever pushed yourself to the point of exhaustion? To the point where you can barely stand up, you can barely breathe, and every muscle in your legs is searing in pain?

This is what achievement has turned into; an endless, brutal run. We are set on a path, whether by our parents, our teachers, or our coaches, and then told to run until we can’t. We are always being “ … perpetually pushed toward the next test or the next ‘best’ high school or college …” Many times, we are forced to distance ourselves from subjects and activities that we want to pursue, and instead have to do what “they” want us to do.

… Achievement isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes, we need to be guided, pointed in the right direction if you will. But our modern society has twisted it into a perpetual routine, where we are always being pushed toward the next “big thing.” It doesn’t have to be this way.

If you look at my transcript, you’d find a student with a promising future, a student with a generous amount of achievements. What you’d likely miss was a kid without many accomplishments. It seemed that while I was busy filling out my résumé, I forgot to have hobbies, to have activities that I chose just for me and not for my future. This only changed recently. Over the summer I went to Europe and without schoolwork, places to volunteer, and hours to work, I had an extensive amount of time to think. I had the sudden realization that I had no things that genuinely brought me joy. I’d like to be able to say that this was a quick fix, but it took me months to figure out what activities I liked and I’m still in the process of doing so.

While this newfound discovery of the necessity for accomplishments may not make me the most knowledgeable person to ask about such things, I can attest to the “feeling of fulfillment” and “genuine happiness, rooted in absorption in something outside myself” that Mr. Gopnik describes. The feeling of doing something simply because you want to is a feeling I now don’t know how I lived without and I hope all kids growing up get to experience it.

— Ally, Hoggard High School

Learn more about Current Events Conversation here and find all of our posts in this column .

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Extracurriculars.

3 Successful Extracurricular Activity Essay Examples

The purpose of the extracurricular activities essay is for admissions officers to better understand how your extracurricular activities have shaped and motivated you. This essay shouldn’t restate the activities you’ve already shared in your resume, but should elaborate on their impact and significance to you as a person.

In this post, we will share three extracurricular essays, written by real students, that are strong responses. Read them to be inspired in your own essay writing!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay Example #1

My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldn’t help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonata’s third movement, a longtime dream of mine.

Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.

But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row.

Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say I’ve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay has a descriptive and engaging hook that immediately places the reader in the middle of the action and captivates us for the rest of the essay. The way the student describes playing piano as a full-body experience, from their splayed out fingers to their tensed shoulders, allows the reader to envision the student in front of them, passionately losing themselves in the music. Seeing the way they write about the piano is a sign that this student is dedicated to this extracurricular. 

Another strength of this essay is how it shows this student’s character, particularly their determination. By describing the challenge of playing this piece, we can fully appreciate all that they had to overcome to be successful. Rather than simply saying it was a hard song, they show us how it was physically and mentally daunting: “ The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.”

This student knows how to make music in their writing, as well as on the piano. The use of elevated and creative language throughout the essay makes it flow smoothly for the reader. They take a rather simple story, but through their deft writing the student makes it both enjoyable and reveals details about themself.

What Could Be Improved

This essay could have been made even stronger if this student included details about them actually practicing. They go from telling us about how daunting this piece was to suddenly being able to play it months later, but admissions officers are curious about how you overcome challenges, not just the fact that you did.

Two or three sentences that describe the tedious process of practicing a particular scale or how they continuously messed up a certain bar of music would be sufficient to express what this student actually accomplished. Although space is tight in this essay, this would have been a better use of the third paragraph than what the student currently has. 

Essay Example #2

My school’s newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as we’re entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences; at this point I’ve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. I’ve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationship—with twelve other editors, there’s a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork I’ve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.

This response is great. It’s cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a “love-hate relationship,” then supplementing with comments like “We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences” allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way. 

Personifying the newspaper is a creative way to demonstrate the role it plays in this student’s life. Because it is an unexpected tactic, it lets the reader appreciate the humor and wit of the author, while also being a lighthearted and fun response to read. 

While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how you’ve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how you’ve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.

One strike against this essay is that in the first sentence it claims the student has a love-hate relationship with the newspaper, but the rest of the essay really only addresses their experience from a positive perspective. They say the “ mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver ” but there is little-to-no elaboration about the negatives. Since they poised their essay as a love-hate relationship, it feels like it is missing something without any discussion about the hate aspect of the relationship. 

Essay Example #3

The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didn’t prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.

As I sat down with my congresswoman’s chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I don’t need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study government—I want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career.

The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the student’s extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.

While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their field—an apt choice!

As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goals—they want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this student’s ethnicity. With lines like “my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,” the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.

Something that is missing from this essay is the emotional reflection this student has from their experiences in politics. They tell us they felt like a participant in democracy and they know they want to study government and make a difference, but for a really strong essay you need to dig deeper and tell the reader more about how this extracurricular makes you feel.

What does it feel like to be a participant in democracy? Liberating? Empowering? How did volunteering impact them personally? Did they develop a new appreciation for what it means to be an American? What feeling is this student trying to elicit by studying government? While all of these questions don’t have to be addressed, the idea is to inject more of the student’s feelings and emotion into the essay to help us better understand exactly what this extracurricular meant to them. 

More Supplemental Essay Tips

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Where to Get Your Extracurricular Activity Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Extracurricular Activity essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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10 Winning Scholarship Essay Examples From Real Students

Make your application shine.

Writing a scholarship essay can be intimidating. The competition is fierce and the stakes are high, so students are bound to feel the pressure. It may be helpful, therefore, to look at essays that were successful. What did those students do to impress the committee? These scholarship essay examples will give you a better idea of how to make an application shine! 

Tips for Writing a Scholarship Essay

We’ve put together a whole guide for how to write a scholarship essay , so if you haven’t read it already, definitely give it a look! In addition, here are some quick tips to help students get started. 

Carefully read the rules

The last thing you need is to be disqualified from winning a scholarship because you didn’t do the right thing. 

Start early

Don’t wait until the last minute to start researching and applying for scholarships. Give yourself plenty of time to work through the process. 

Get to know the provider

Think of the scholarship provider as your target audience. You want to tailor your essay to impress them, so do your research. What kinds of candidates are they looking for? What causes do they support? Dig deep for the information you need!

Think about who you are, what you want to say, and how to appeal to the scholarship committee. Write everything down and then choose the best ideas. 

The scholarship committee will be reviewing many applications. How can you make yours unforgettable? Highlight your strongest assets, share hard lessons if they showcase your growth as a person and/or student, and be honest. Never lie in a scholarship essay!

Be professional

Consider this the most important academic paper you’ve ever written. Don’t use slang or casual language. Submit a properly formatted essay that’s been well-edited and proofread by multiple people.

One last tip

Don’t reuse scholarship essays! Yes, it’s time-consuming, but students need to put the same effort into every application. Use the same process and it will get faster and easier every time!

Scholarship Essay Examples

Afc visionary scholarship essay by nicole kuznetsov.

Award Amount: $5,000

Essay prompt: Why do you want to go to college? Why is it important to you?

Why it was successful: The  beauty of this essay is that it’s well-organized and simple. Nicole Kuznetsov chose to outline her story by using chronology and provided a clean, concise story following a linear path.

North Coast Section Foundation Scholarship Essay by Christine Fung

Award Amount: $1,000

Why it was successful: Christine Fung masterfully shared how her upbringing instilled strong values, a love for education, and a passion for medicine .

The Bill Browning Scholarship Essay by Gabby DeMott

Award Amount: $10,000

Essay prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Why it was successful: Gabby DeMott shared her experiences with personal growth and overcoming fears in Germany. She also appealed to the very human feeling of wanting to belong in a way that was inspiring. 

Life Happens Scholarship Essay by Emily Trader

Award Amount: $15,000

Essay prompt: How has the death of a parent or guardian impacted your life financially and emotionally? Be sure to describe how the loss of your parent/guardian impacted your college plans, and explain how the lack of adequate (or any) life insurance coverage has impacted your family’s financial situation.

Why it was successful: Emily Trader fully addressed the prompt in honest, beautiful detail. She knew her audience and tailored her essay to appeal to them while telling her compelling story. 

Change a Life Foundation Scholarship Essay by Isabella Mendez-Figueroa

Essay prompt: Please explain how your experience volunteering and participating in community service has shaped your perspective on humanity. Elaborate on how these experiences have influenced your future ambitions and career choice.

Why it was successful: Isabella Mendez-Figueroa shared an empowering story about her parents overcoming financial adversity so that she and her sister could be the first in their family to go to college. 

Giva Scholarship Essay by Joseph Lee

Essay prompt: Who is (or what makes) a good doctor?

Why it was successful: Joseph Lee offered a captivating , personal story that was essentially a list of things that make someone a good doctor without it feeling boring or calculated. 

New York University College of Arts and Science Scholarship by Ana

Award amount: $39,500 

Essay prompt: Explain something that made a big impact in your life.

Why it was successful: Ana discussed how early experiences w ith learning difficult things has contributed to her passion for teaching and supporting students. 

The Fund for Education Abroad Rainbow Scholarship Essay  by Steven Fisher

Award amount: $7,500

Essay prompt: The Fund for Education Abroad is committed to diversifying education abroad by providing funding to students who are typically under-represented in study abroad. Please describe how you and/or your plans for study abroad could be viewed as under-represented.

Why it was successful: Steven Fisher’s powerful essay   connected his realizations about his own sexual identity with embracing the beautiful diversity found all around the world. 

Women’s World Banking Founder’s Scholarship Essay by Rosaisha Ozoria

Essay prompt: Write about your hopes for the future of women and girls worldwide.

Why it was successful: Rosaisha Ozoria   focused on a very specific topic , financial literacy for Hispanic women, and emphasized its importance and relevance to her own life. 

The Millennium Gates Last Dollar Scholarship Essay by Famyrah Lafortune

Award amount: $3,500

Essay prompt: Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” —Nelson Mandela Describe a change you would like to make in the world. Tell us about how you would plan to make that change, and what obstacles you might encounter along the way.

Why it was successful: Famyrah Lafortune starts with a strong statement about ending racial inequality and then details the steps she’ll take to make it happen. 

Do you have any great scholarship essay examples? Share them below!

Plus, check out  the ultimate guide to college scholarships, want more suggestions be sure to subscribe to our newsletters ..

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Greatest accomplishment essay example and topic ideas.

Developing a college essay on accomplishment may seem easy on the surface, but a hard nut on the inner. Why? Most students have not developed the necessary skills and tactics needed to give such an essay a perfect look it deserves. Nevertheless, we are here to help you develop that and make your essay one of the best achievements ever made. At the end of this post, you will be more proud that Isaac Newton, who saw a mango falling from a tree.

An accomplishment essay should have the following components :

• The challenge
• The outcome
• The significance

First things first, we will start with an accomplishment essay example, which will form the basis of our discussion. Let’s do this!

The Greatest Accomplishment Essay: How I Made it in Life “When I was growing up, I had one purpose in mind, to be my boss. Well, many may find it absurd that a young lad who barely knew all the letters of the alphabet would dream of such. As crazy as it may sound, that was my dream, and I had no intention of looking back. The same urge still burned in me ten years later. No doubt that my passion for leadership was in my DNA, and nothing could stop me from achieving it. What is success? One person defined it as the accomplishment of a purpose or an aim. We create success on our own, and this is how I made my success story. I grew up in a humble background, with my mother taking both parental roles. We lived from hand to mouth, and there are times when we would go for two or three fortnights without a meal. Being a single mother, she had to ensure that her two children were well fending for with the little that she could afford. She would take up any job position; a cleaner, a homemaker, a cook, and even one time, a garbage collector. All these were for the best of her children. Don’t think that I was blind to all these sufferings. There are times that she would take me on these jobs, and I had a first-hand experience of how difficult they were. That is where I started developing a longing for a better life. Not just for me, but my family and all the others who were going through the same ordeal. From the little pennies I collected, I began my little savings account. A bank wouldn’t accept my little coins, and so I had a metallic tin, which I dubbed, “my treasure box.” As time went by, my little treasure box began being heavy. One day I decided to open it when I counted the amount; it was kind enough to buy a few packets of sweets. I bought the first three packets, and lucky enough, all of them sold out. The urge to buy more packs of sweets developed, and within no time, I had a small kiosk. Through several ups and downs, I managed to open a small shop with not just sweets but also other essential commodities. The shop did well, and I moved to a mini-market where I would do wholesale and retail services. I eventually opened a supermarket, and that is where my fortune came. Due to the excellent progress of this supermarket, I opened another branch, and the business began expanding. From a sweet seller to the director of a supermarket with branches nationwide! That is how I became my boss by creating opportunities for people like me who did not have a source of income.”

A personal accomplishment essay is as simple as that. You do not have to hustle for the so-called “great” stories. Look for that one achievement in your life and give it your best shot.

Topic Ideas for Writing the Greatest Accomplishment Essay

Show the great strides you made in your education and the accolades you received for the same.

Describe how your interest in medicine drove you to become a doctor

How does one not achieving a specific goal contribute to his/her failure?

• The Importance of Accomplishment Discuss the privileges, results, and social impact of an accomplishment

Things to Avoid in an Accomplishment Essay

A good essay on accomplishment should not:

• Be of an ancient achievement
• Involve a friend, family, or marriage unless the story is genuinely distinctive and has a substantial impact.

To sum up, writing one of the most significant accomplishment essays bears a couple of requirements in mind. You should critically ask yourself specific questions and, after that, reflect on the experiences that answer those questions. If you have a problem on how to do this, we have experts with years of experience who can help you navigate through.

We also offer professional wring assistance with more essay samples for your inspiration. Contact us today.

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Personal Accomplishment Essay Writing Secrets To Bear in Mind

EssayEdge > Blog > Personal Accomplishment Essay Writing Secrets To Bear in Mind

Most of what is applicable to writing a successful  personal growth  essay holds here for Accomplishment pieces: Colleges use the relation of accomplishments to get insight into applicants’ personalities and character traits. Some schools ask targeted questions, while others leave the topic open for applicant interpretation.

An important point is to refrain from repeating information found elsewhere in the application. Some “overachievers” try to include virtually all their accomplishments in one essay, missing the point of the exercise altogether. A laundry list of academic, extracurricular, and work successes will not give admissions officers much more insight into your personality. In fact, they may infer that you do not realize that, in college, you will not be able to be essay editor , editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, president of the honor society, captain of the football team, and president of the class all at the same time. The mature applicant knows that college will require a student to focus on a few interests but spend more time and effort pursuing them.

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For those of you who were not the school “all-star,” do not worry. Some of the best Accomplishment essays have been written about what could be construed as mundane events—learning how to bake a cake, miraculously getting the engine in your first car (which you affectionately call your “clunker”) to start, or getting your elderly and bed-ridden neighbor to smile by performing your cheesy stand-up routine. The accomplishment does not need to be earth-shattering, but you do need to show why it is important for you and how it has affected you in a discernible way.

Discussing and revealing some writing secrets is a good idea, but not all information should be publicized. If you plan to regularly text us and say: “I need help editing my essay ,” let it be your small proofreading tip. The smartest person always wins, so we’ll be happy to see our clients get accepted to their dream colleges.

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Essay on Personal Accomplishments

Students are often asked to write an essay on Personal Accomplishments in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Personal Accomplishments

What are personal accomplishments.

Personal accomplishments are the goals we achieve by ourselves. They can be big, like winning a competition, or small, like learning a new game. They make us feel proud and happy because they show us what we can do when we try hard.

Why They Matter

These achievements are important because they help us grow. When we reach a goal, we learn new things and become more confident. This confidence makes it easier to try even bigger things in the future.

Examples for Students

For students, personal accomplishments can be getting good grades, being kind to a new student, or finishing a difficult book. Each success is special because it is your own victory.

250 Words Essay on Personal Accomplishments

Personal accomplishments are the goals or challenges you have overcome. They are like trophies in your life’s showcase. These achievements can be big or small, like scoring the highest in a test or learning to ride a bicycle. They are important because they show that you have worked hard and succeeded.

Accomplishments are important because they make you feel proud and happy. When you achieve something, it gives you confidence to try new things. It’s like when you finish a difficult puzzle, you feel smart and ready to start another one. These successes help you grow and learn more about yourself.

Different Kinds of Success

Success can look different for everyone. For some, it might be getting good grades or winning a sports game. For others, it could be making a new friend or helping someone. It’s not just about big wins; even small steps forward are worth celebrating.

Sharing Your Achievements

When you achieve something, it’s nice to share it with others. It can inspire them to try hard too. Sharing your success isn’t about showing off; it’s about spreading joy and motivation. When friends and family cheer for you, it feels great and makes the accomplishment even more special.

Keep Going Forward

Remember, every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. If you don’t succeed at first, don’t give up. Keep trying and learning from mistakes. Each time you overcome a challenge, you get stronger and better at facing new ones. Your accomplishments are the steps on your path to becoming the best you can be.

500 Words Essay on Personal Accomplishments

Personal accomplishments are the goals or challenges we have overcome that make us proud. They are like trophies in our minds that remind us of our hard work and success. These could be big things like winning a competition, or small daily victories like finishing a difficult homework assignment.

The Importance of Personal Accomplishments

Achieving personal goals is very important for several reasons. First, it boosts our confidence. When we accomplish something, we feel good about ourselves. This feeling can encourage us to try new things and take on more challenges. Second, personal accomplishments help us grow. Every time we reach a goal, we learn something new about ourselves and the world around us. Finally, our successes can inspire others to try hard and reach their own goals.

Types of Personal Accomplishments

There are many different kinds of personal accomplishments. Some are related to school, like getting a good grade on a test or being chosen as class leader. Others might be about sports, such as scoring the winning goal in a soccer game. We can also have accomplishments in our hobbies, like learning to play a musical instrument or creating a beautiful piece of art.

Setting Goals

To achieve personal accomplishments, we need to set goals. Goals are like a map that guides us to where we want to go. They should be clear and possible to reach. For example, if you want to get better at math, a goal could be to practice for 20 minutes every day. When we set goals and work towards them step by step, reaching them becomes much easier.

Overcoming Challenges

Sometimes, on our way to reaching a goal, we face tough times. Maybe the work is hard, or things don’t go as planned. It’s normal to feel like giving up, but it’s important not to. These challenges test our strength and determination. By pushing through and not giving up, we often find that we can achieve more than we first thought.

Celebrating Success

When we reach our goals, it’s important to celebrate. This doesn’t always mean throwing a party. It can be as simple as taking a moment to feel happy about what we’ve done. Sharing our success with family and friends can make the moment even more special. Celebrating helps us remember the hard work we put in and the joy of achieving our goals.

Learning from Accomplishments

Every time we accomplish something, there’s a chance to learn. We can look back at what we did and see what worked and what didn’t. This helps us do even better next time. We also learn that success comes from trying, making mistakes, and not giving up.

In conclusion, personal accomplishments are the victories we achieve in our lives. They make us feel proud and confident, help us grow, and can inspire others. By setting clear goals, working hard, and overcoming challenges, we can achieve great things. And when we do, celebrating and learning from our experiences can lead us to even greater successes in the future.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Person Who Inspires Me
• Essay on How I Spent My Weekend
• Essay on Person I Like Most My Father

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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• Applying For Scholarships

About Yourself Scholarship Essay Examples (2023)

Jennifer Finetti Sep 28, 2022

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A popular scholarship essay prompt is “Tell us about yourself.” This question is relatively open-ended, which may make it difficult to answer at first glance. What should I tell them about myself? My struggles, my goals, my passions…? These may all be fitting topics, depending on the scholarship. We’ll show you some scholarship essay examples about yourself, along with writing tips to guide you along the way.

What they want to know about you

As you prepare to write, think of the topics the scholarship committee would be interested in. These may include:

• Your current degree, as it applies to your overall career goals. You can explain why you chose your current educational path and what you want to do with that.
• Your short-term and long-term professional goals . Frame your answer as if to say “Where will you be in 5 years? Where will you be in 10 years?” Scholarship committees like to reward people with defined aspirations.
• Past experiences that sparked your passions. You could talk about an influential person in your life, but make sure most of the essay focuses on you. After all, you are talking about yourself.
• Something about you that relates to their organization. With any scholarship essay, you should try to connect yourself with the organization providing the funding. Don’t force a connection. Find one that naturally fits. Mention hobbies, experiences and goals that match what the review committee is looking for.
• Something unique that sets you apart from other applicants. This may be volunteer experience, career specialties, situational differences (growing up in an area that didn’t encourage education), etc.

Note that you do not have to throw all this information into one essay. Choose the elements that best fit the scholarship. If you were on the review board, what would you want to learn about each applicant? What would make you choose one applicant over another? Keep this in mind as you develop your thoughts.

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What they don’t want to know about you

There is plenty of information you could include in an about yourself scholarship essay. There is just as much information to avoid though. Some topics to keep out of your essay include:

• False information. Do not make up stories or fabricate goals to fit the prompt. The scholarship committee can instantly tell when someone is lying, and they will disqualify you immediately.
• Past struggles that do not pertain to the essay topic. You can briefly mention struggles from your past, as long as you mention how you’ve learned from them. Do not make your essay a long story about the hard life you’ve led. Focus on your triumphs, not your obstacles.
• Vague goals and aspirations. Scholarships are usually given to students who have a plan. If you say, “I’m not sure what I’m doing yet,” the committee will select a more motivated candidate. If you have a plan and a backup plan, that’s fine. Just make sure you mention both options and show which one you favor.
• Cliché stories that most people tell. There is something that makes you stand out as a person. Use that to your advantage. Don’t rely on generic information they’ll find with other applicants.
• Unrelated elements of your personal life. In most cases, you should not mention your significant other in the essay. You might mention a spouse if you need to reference your children or a turning point in your life, but these personal details do not fit most essays. Any information that seems frivolous or ill-placed should be removed from the essay.

Read through your essay carefully. If you stop at one point to say, “Why did I mention that?” get rid of the corresponding information. Showcase the best elements about yourself in a fluid and cohesive manner.

Short scholarship essay example: Tell us about yourself (100 Words)

With 100 words, you can only focus on one or two elements of your life. Think about your biggest selling points – the things that show you are the ideal candidate. Start by introducing yourself and your educational status. Then jump into the main topic of the essay. You may not have room to mention how the scholarship will help your education. Instead, mention how your education can help your career. The other information will be implied.

My name is Christian Wood. I am a high school senior who will be attending the University of Nevada, Reno in the fall. I want to become an online journalist. My goal is to work for the Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg, Huffington Post, or another news outlet that has a strong online presence. Most people already get their news on the internet, and the industry will be even bigger by the time I graduate. Getting a degree in journalism with a focus on digital media will set me up for a fulfilling, fast-paced career fit for the future.

Word Count: 96

Medium scholarship essay example: Tell us about yourself (250 Words)

With a mid-length scholarship essay, you have more space to explain how your past has influenced your present and future goals. You should have rom for an intro paragraph, a few body paragraphs, and a conclusion (maybe incorporated into the last body paragraph). Think of a few main points you want to touch on, and write those down first. If you still have room, you can add more details about yourself.

My name is Sarah, and I spent most of my childhood on the wrong medication. I experienced a problem common in clinical psychology – misdiagnosis. Professionals provide inaccurate diagnoses for many reasons – f rom antiquated testing methods to limited education. I want to open my own psychological testing facility and help change that. Therefore, I am pursuing a Ph.D. in Clinical Neuropsychology.  I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child because I had trouble focusing in school. The medication m y doctor prescribed to me only made me numb to the world around me. I couldn’t think or process emotions, or had no emotions at all. After several years my parents finally decided to get a second opinion. I saw a specialist and she concluded that I didn’t have ADHD , but a combination of dyslexia and dysgraphia (difficulties with reading and writing). She sent us to a therapist who helped me learn how to work around my conditions, and my life improved tremendously. I went from being a lifeless student with barely passing grades to an honor roll student full of joy and excitement. Unfortunately, my story is not one of a kind. There are countless children in America who are put on mind-altering medications that do not adequately address their needs. I cannot help all of those children, but I can provide a better alternative for the ones in my area. Through proper education, funded by financial aid, I can learn about psychological evaluations and provide the most accurate diagnoses possible.

Word Count: 249

Long scholarship essay example: Tell us about yourself (500 Words)

Scholarship essays that are 500 words or longer let you tell the whole story. You can discuss your past, present and future in a comprehensive manner. Avoid rambling and make sure each topic contributes to the overall essay. If one piece feels out of place, remove it and elaborate more on the existing elements. By the end of the essay, the reader should have a full understanding of who you are and what you want to accomplish.

My name is Sierra Breault, and I am a junior at Murray State University. I am double-majoring in Criminal Justice and Forensics Science, and I will graduate in 2024 with two bachelor degrees. My career goal is in social justice, so I can contribute to criminal justice reform. I want to ensure that those who commit crimes are treated fairly.  I come from a small town where excessive force and even death by cop incidents are often committed, especially against minorities. A few years ago, one of my relatives was charged for a crime although the crime scene evidence wasn’t properly obtained, catalogued and analyzed.  This experience played a big part in my wish to study criminal justice. I started exploring the career more when I decided that a desk job just wasn’t for me. Throughout high school I struggled because of the routine nature of it all. I saw the same people and attended the same classes every single day. I knew I didn’t want a job that would be that stagnant. That’s when I got the idea to work in law enforcement, because there would always be a new challenge for me to tackle. After researching the field even more, I set my sights on crime scene investigation. I have performed much better academically in college than I ever did in high school. That’s because there is no routine to the experience. Every week, I have new projects to complete, tests to study for, and activities to try. I have been involved with the campus Crime Stoppers organization all three years of college, and I was elected president for the upcoming term. This lets me work closely with law enforcement to supplement my college education and further my career.   After graduating, I will apply for work as a dispatcher in a state organization, such as the Department of Criminal Investigation. While my ultimate goal is to work as a forensic analyst or crime scene investigator, those positions usually only go to people within the organization. Dispatch is the most direct option for career entry, giving me the best chance to pursue my dream career. I am applying for this scholarship to help me finish the last two years of my degrees. As a college junior and soon-to-be senior, my scholarship opportunities are limited. Most awards are reserved for freshmen. I took advantage of those early on, and I have one recurring scholarship that covers half of my tuition. However, I need additional financial aid to cover the remainder of my academic costs. I appreciate your consideration, and I hope that you can help me pursue a profession in criminal justice. This is my passion, and I have a clear plan to turn that passion into a lifelong career.

Word Count: 463

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• Scholarship Essay

Jennifer Finetti

As a parent who recently helped her own kids embark on their college journeys, Jennifer approaches the transition from high school to college from a unique perspective. She truly enjoys engaging with students – helping them to build the confidence, knowledge, and insight needed to pursue their educational and career goals, while also empowering them with the strategies and skills needed to access scholarships and financial aid that can help limit college costs. She understands the importance of ensuring access to the edtech tools and resources that can make this process easier and more equitable - this drive to support underserved populations is what drew her to ScholarshipOwl. Jennifer has coached students from around the world, as well as in-person with local students in her own community. Her areas of focus include career exploration, major selection, college search and selection, college application assistance, financial aid and scholarship consultation, essay review and feedback, and more. She works with students who are at the top of their class, as well as those who are struggling. She firmly believes that all students, regardless of their circumstances, can succeed if they stay focused and work hard in school. Jennifer earned her MA in Counseling Psychology from National University, and her BA in Psychology from University of California, Santa Cruz.

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The Benefits of Accomplishment-Based Education

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I’ve been posting recently about Accomplishment-Based Education. One reason this is so important is that we have been overlooking, in amost all of our discussions about technology in education, one of technology’s most obvious benefits — its ability to empower youth to accomplish desperately needed tasks in the world.

Perhaps this is because before digital technology, kids typically couldn’t accomplish such tasks until they were older. Perhaps it’s because we’re conditioned by our pre-Internet past against exploitative “child labor.” Or perhaps it’s because we’ve kept our young people from accomplishing useful things for so long that we’ve forgotten what they’re capable of.

But now a great deal has changed. Half the people on the planet are under the age of 25. They are, individually and as a group, increasingly capable and powerful — and linked to one another in ways that never existed before.

Instead of wasting our students’ capacity to accomplish positive change (much as, for a long time, we wasted much of our women’s capacity) we need to help our young people, and not hold them back.

Today, young people are starting their real-world accomplishments earlier and earlier, flocking to the world’s new jobs, such as website and app creation, search engine optimization and social media strategy. Those few well-known individuals who’ve started billion-dollar companies in their dorm rooms shouldn’t be viewed only as exceptions; they’re exceptional only in the magnitude of their accomplishments. All kids are now capable of accomplishing real things.

So Much More than a Test

When school administrators want to demonstrate what their schools are doing right, they increasingly point not to test scores, but to the accomplishments of their students in the broader world. One superintendent I know of cited a team of 4th graders who saw the need for a new water park. The students planned the park, pitched it to the city council, obtained the necessary funding, and supervised its construction, beating out professional architects. Another cited a pair of high school students who were building a robot so that a severely handicapped fellow student could attend classes from his bed.

Student accomplishments like these exist in huge numbers, but they’re typically outside the educational mainstream. Yet in actuality, this is the most important part of schooling. In doing real-world projects, kids learn the skills they need and more. They grow into the kind of people we want them to be. And they develop something that school rarely provides: a sense that they are capable of useful, real-world accomplishment.

The Power of Real

If the goal of education is for children to become better, more competent people who are well-prepared for the future, accomplishing is a far more effective means to that end than the “learning” that almost all our schools are fixated on today. Many schools have sensed this and have moved to skills-based education; others have added problem-based learning, inquiry-based learning, project-based learning to their curricula. This is a step in the right direction. But it misses something basic: Almost none of it is real.

Almost all our school problems and activities — including so-called “problem-based learning” — are just made-up. They’re designed to include the maximum number of “learnings,” or standards. They’re not designed to accomplish anything useful. What we need instead is an education in which the outcomes make a difference and provide real improvements to the world. I call this an accomplishment-based education . It needs to go far beyond the added-on “capstone” or “service” projects we sometimes see, to the very heart of what education is. If whatever kids learn in school were learned not in “courses,” but in service of accomplishing real-world problems chosen by the kids (in consultation with the teachers), we would have very different results — and attitudes — than we do today.

The students I talk to around the world are crying out for this kind of education. Raised in large part on the Internet and video games, they’re far better at both cooperation and competition than previous generations ever were. They know their power and capabilities and are frustrated at not being given the chance, daily, to use them. When they focus on tasks they’re passionate about, the amount of enthusiasm, energy, and intellect they put forth is prodigious.

Accomplishment-based education is not a wholly new idea; students everywhere are already devoting large chunks of their energy to solving real problems. The issue, rather, is that this kind of education is mostly haphazard, scattered, and random, and it often depends on, and is limited to, individual teachers, administrators, and schools. So how can we organize Accomplishment-Based Education to a much greater extent for all students? We could, for example:

• Create local and worldwide databases of real, needed tasks that have been successfully accomplished by student projects, as well as of needed projects that student groups could potentially accomplish.
• Hold science, robotics, and other competitions NOT to shoot balls through hoops or to make kids demonstrate something they’ve learned, but to get students competing as they drill water wells, clean up dumps, put out fires, or do other useful work.
• Get students involved in designing, planning, funding, and even fixing or building infrastructure. This work could target physical infrastructure that doesn’t exist (for example, in villages that lack clean water) or existing infrastructure that’s crumbling. Adults are often needed only to keep students from inadvertently breaking laws or hurting themselves.
• Engage our young people in helping us fix the often far-behind state of high-speed of desperately needed online connections and infrastructure. Young people are totally capable of doing this, and most of the instructions are already on the Internet.

This kind of real-world accomplishing should not just be in our school curriculum, it should BE our school curriculum.

As a start, we could begin tomorrow putting together the database of the many real projects our kids have already done throughout the world as part of their school years, as guidelines to students and teachers. We could build on that database every month and year from every school and classroom. We could compile a list of needed tasks in various places in the world, local or far-flung, and let students chose the ones that interest them.

For how long must our education remain artificial preparation for accomplishment, rather than accomplishment itself? Some people see moves to “common standards” or to “problem-based learning” as big steps forward. But those things are not what we need.

Just imagine if students left school not just with a diploma and grade point average, but with a resume — a list of real-world individual and team accomplishments that they could proudly point to and by which we could judge their capabilities and merits. This is what we need — an education that teaches kids how to think effectively, act effectively, relate effectively, and — most of all — effectively accomplish real projects that make the world a better place.

As always, your comments are welcome.

The opinions expressed in Prensky’s Provocative Ed-Tech Thinking are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

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Gre prep online guides and tips, how to write a stand-out personal statement for grad school.

If you’re applying to graduate school, you’ll likely need to write a personal statement. But what exactly is a graduate school personal statement? And what should you write about to give yourself your best shot at admission?

In this guide, we teach you how to write a personal statement for grad school, step by step. But first, let’s go over how the personal statement differs from the statement of purpose as well as what schools look for in a great graduate school essay.

What Is a Graduate School Personal Statement?

A graduate school personal statement is an admission essay that typically focuses on your personal reasons for wanting to enter a grad program and particular field of study. Essentially, you must tell the story of who you are and how you developed your current research interests.

So is a personal statement for graduate school the same thing as a statement of purpose? Well, not always (though it can be). Here are the general distinctions between the two essay types:

• Statement of purpose:  A formal essay that summarizes your academic and professional background, research interests, and career goals. In this essay, you’ll usually explain your reasons for applying to grad school and why you believe the program is a good fit for you (as well as why you’re a good fit for it!).
• Personal statement: A less formal essay that focuses on your passion and motivation for wanting to enter your chosen field and program. This statement is typically more flexible than the statement of purpose, with a bigger emphasis on storytelling. Schools often encourage applicants to discuss (relevant) challenges in their lives and how they’ve overcome them.

Both the graduate school personal statement and statement of purpose are usually anywhere from one to three double-spaced pages long, depending on the program you’re applying to.

Below is a chart comparing the personal statement and statement of purpose:

Usually, the personal statement and statement of purpose are considered two different graduate school essay types.

But this isn’t always the case. While some schools consider the personal statement and statement of purpose two distinct essays, others use the names interchangeably.

For example, Michigan State University’s College of Engineering  considers them two distinct essays, while The Ohio State University uses “personal statement” to describe what is essentially a statement of purpose.

Many schools require just one essay  (and it’ll usually be the statement of purpose, as it’s the more academic one). But some, such as the University of Michigan , ask for both a personal statement and statement of purpose, while others, such as  Notre Dame’s Creative Writing MFA program , want an essay that combines the features of both!

Ultimately, the type of graduate school essay you  submit will depend entirely on where you’re applying.

What Do Schools Look For in a Personal Statement?

Many grad schools require a personal statement in order to learn more about you, your interests, your struggles, and your motivations for wanting to enter a field of study. Through this essay, schools can get to know you on a deeper, more intimate level and learn about you in ways they can’t through transcripts and letters of recommendation alone.

But what specifically do universities look for in a great personal statement for graduate school? Here are some of the most important elements to include in your essay.

A Compelling Story

First off, your personal statement must tell a story. After all, this essay is basically your autobiography: it introduces who you are, your interests and motivations, and why you’ve decided to apply to grad school.

Unlike the statement of purpose, the personal statement should focus mostly on your personal history, from your failures to your triumphs. All experiences should tie back to your field or research area, emphasizing what you’ve learned and what this means in terms of your potential as a grad student.

Since you’re talking about yourself, be conversational in your storytelling: use an authentic voice, open up about your experiences, and maybe even throw in a joke or two. Though you’re still writing an essay for school, it’s generally OK to be a little more informal here than you would in a statement of purpose.

That said, there are a couple of things you absolutely shouldn’t do in your personal statement.

• Open your essay with a quotation. Professors have heard the quotation before and don’t need (or want) to hear it again. Plus, quotations often take up too much space in an already short essay!
• Use clichés. Think of unique ways to tell your story and grab readers’ attention. Schools want to see you can be creative yet honest about yourself, so avoid clichés like the plague (see what I did there?).
• Get too creative. Your goal is to look like a serious, committed applicant—not a wacky risk taker—so write clearly and avoid any unnecessary distractions such as images, colors, and unprofessional fonts.

Most importantly, remember that your graduate school personal statement should focus on your successes. Try to use strong, encouraging words and put positive twists on difficult experiences whenever possible. It’s OK to mention your setbacks, too—just as long as you’re discussing how you ultimately overcame (or plan to overcome) them.

Inspirations for Your Research Interests

Schools don’t only want to see clearly defined research interests but also  why you have these particular interests.   While the statement of purpose elaborates on your professional goals, the personal statement explains what personally motivated you to explore your interests.

For example, in my personal statement for a Japanese Studies MA program, I wrote about my hot-and-cold relationship with the Japanese language and how a literature class and a stint abroad ultimately inspired me to keep learning.

Don’t make the mistake of going way back to the beginning to start your essay. Many applicants open their statements with something along the lines of “I fell in love with psychology when I was ten years old” or “It all started when I was in high school.” But these broad statements lack the creativity and zest needed to secure an acceptance, so avoid them at all costs.

Your Motivation for Applying to Grad School

Your statement of purpose should explain why grad school is a practical next step in your professional life—but your personal statement should focus on what personally motivates you to take this step.

Generally, schools want answers to the following questions:

• Why is grad school an appropriate step for you now?
• How will a graduate degree help you achieve your goals?
• Why didn’t you apply to grad school earlier (if you took time off after undergrad)?
• Were there any struggles or problems you faced that prevented you from applying to grad school before?

Be honest about why you’re applying, both to grad school and the program in particular. In my graduate school essay, I discussed how my passion for Japanese literature and desire to translate it inspired me to seek advanced language training at the graduate level.

Strong Writing Skills

A great personal statement shows that you can write cogently and coherently. After all, strong writing skills are imperative for success as a grad student!

So in addition to telling a good story, make sure you use correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Use paragraphs to break up your thoughts, too. Because the personal statement is slightly less formal than the statement of purpose, feel free to play around a little with paragraph form and length.

Also, remember that  good writing doesn’t necessarily equal big words.  You’re writing about yourself, so use words that come naturally to you. Don’t grab a thesaurus and start throwing in a bunch of high-level vocabulary wherever you can; this will make your essay sound less authentic, not to mention stiff.

On the other hand, don’t get too colloquial. You’ll lose respect if you start inserting conversational words such as “gonna” and “gotta.” Therefore, look for the middle ground and write from there.

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Explanations for Any Hiccups in Your Academic Career

Lastly, the personal statement  gives applicants a chance to explain any problems or changes in their academic histories, such as low grades or gaps in education.

Because transcripts and resumes are severely limited in what information they give, schools often use the personal statement to understand your reasons for abrupt changes in your resume and/or transcripts, and to see how you’ve overcome these barriers in your education (and life).

Essentially, a personal statement equalizes the playing field by giving you full rein to explain yourself and emphasize your success over any struggles you’ve had.

How to Write a Personal Statement for Grad School: 9-Step Guide

The personal statement is a fiercely important part of your grad school application. In this section, we teach you how to write a memorable personal statement for grad school so that you’ll have a better shot at getting accepted.

Step 1: Start Early

Personal statements (actually, grad school applications in general!) take a lot of work, so don’t put off writing your essay until the week before your deadline. Rather, try to start working on your essay at least two or three months before your application is due.

You might want to give yourself more time to write it if you’re currently in school or working a demanding job. Setting aside more time lets you work on your graduate school essay routinely without having to squeeze in too many hours each week.

If you only have a month or less until your application deadline, get started on your essay pronto! Though it’s possible to write a personal statement quickly, I recommend carving out more time so that you can put more thought and effort into what you write and how you present yourself. (Doing this also gives others more time to edit your essay for you! We’ll cover this more in later steps.)

Step 2: Read the Instructions

Perhaps the most important step is to read your program’s instructions for the personal statement. Not following these instructions could very well result in a rejection, so always read these first before you start writing! Most programs put their personal statement instructions on their application materials pages.

Your program should give you the following information:

• What type of content your personal statement should include or generally focus on (you might even get an actual prompt to answer!)
• How long your statement should be
• What type of heading, if any, you must include on your statement
• How to save and submit your statement (e.g., .docx, PDF, etc.)

For example, let’s say you’re applying to the History PhD program at UC Berkeley . In this case, your personal statement can’t exceed 1,000 words (three double-spaced pages). You must also answer this prompt :

Please describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include information on how you have overcome barriers to access in higher education, evidence of how you have come to understand the barriers faced by others, evidence of your academic service to advance equitable access to higher education for women, racial minorities, and individuals from other groups that have been historically underrepresented in higher education, evidence of your research focusing on underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of your leadership among such groups.

On the other hand, if you were to apply for an MS in Mining, Geological, and Geophysical Engineering at the University of Arizona , your personal statement would follow these parameters:

Your personal statement is an opportunity to sell yourself, in terms of your research interests, research experience and research goals. Unless you have extensive research experience, most personal statements should be about two single-spaced pages. Your writing should be clear, concise, grammatically correct and professional in tone. You may convey some personal experiences that have led to your current interests or that make you a particularly promising candidate.

Clearly, grad programs can approach personal statements quite differently. Some schools consider them the same as statements of purpose and want a formal focus on academic and research interests, while others want applicants to explain more informally the challenges they’ve overcome to get to this point.

Simply put,  follow your program’s directions exactly in order to give yourself your best shot at admission.  And if any part of the instructions is unclear, don’t hesitate to contact your program!

Step 3: Figure Out Your Angle

Your “angle,” or focus, in your graduate school personal statement will depend on a few key factors:

• What your grad program wants you to write about
• Your field of study and research interests
• How much experience you have in your field

As I mentioned in step 2, it’s extremely important to  read the personal statement instructions for your program. Many times these guidelines will tell you what to include in your essay, thereby clarifying what your overall angle needs to be.

Let’s look back at the example we used above for UC Berkeley’s doctoral program in history. If you were applying here and came from a low-income family, you could discuss how you’ve overcome these financial challenges in your life to get to where you are today.

No matter the prompt, you’ll need to discuss your research interests (to some degree) in your personal statement.  How much you talk about your interests, however, will depend on whether you have to submit a separate statement of purpose. If so, you can focus less on your research plans and more on your passions and motivations for applying.

On the other hand, if your personal statement is essentially a statement of purpose, dive deep into your research interests—that is,  be specific! For example, those applying to English lit programs should think about the works, eras, and writers they want to study, and why.

More broadly, though, try to answer the question of  what you hope to accomplish, either during or after the program. Is there any particular project you want to do? Skills you want to improve? Field you want to break into?

Finally, always choose a positive angle.  Use affirmative words and phrases to highlight both your successes and overall enthusiasm for the program.

Step 4: Ask Yourself, “Why This Program? Why This Field?”

Although the statement of purpose usually answers this question directly, you’ll likely need to address this in your personal statement as well—ideally, with a less academic and more conversational tone.

As you brainstorm, try to come up with answers to the following questions:

• What goals or experiences led you to apply to this program?
• How will this program help you grow on a personal level?
• What made you interested in this field? Why do you want to study it more?
• What are your research interests? How did you develop these interests?
• Are there any particular professors you wish to work with?

Step 5: Make an Outline

Now that you’ve brainstormed some ideas, it’s time to start outlining your essay.

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How you choose to outline your statement is up to you. Some people like drawing bubble charts for organizing their thoughts, whereas others (like myself) prefer to write a list of rough ideas in the general order they want to present them.

Even if you’re not sure whether you want to include something, just add it to your outline anyway. You can always cut it out later as you draft and edit.

Step 6: Draft Your Essay

It’s now time to start writing! Once you’ve got your outline ready, work on expanding what you’ve written into full-fledged paragraphs.

In the beginning, it’s OK to write down anything you feel is relevant, but as you continue to draft, try to look for any extraneous information you can chop.

Remember, most personal statements will be short— usually one to two double-spaced pages—so you don’t want to risk exceeding your program’s word limit. Schools want to see that you can tell a story concisely yet effectively.

If you’re having trouble coming up with a way to open your statement, try skipping around as you draft. Go ahead and jump to a paragraph you have more ideas for—it’s perfectly OK! Just make sure you start to tie all of your ideas together the closer you get to finishing your draft.

On a related note, be careful not to copy any material from your statement of purpose (if you’re required to submit two separate essays). These statements may share a little overlap but should still focus on different aspects of your (academic) life, accomplishments, and goals.

Step 7: Get Feedback

Once you finish drafting, give your essay to people you trust for feedback. This could be a parent, friend, sibling, or mentor (such as a former or current professor).

Ask your editors to give you  specific feedback  on what you can change, both stylistically and technically, to make it more impactful. Ideally, they’ll also note any unclear, awkward, or redundant ideas/phrases and will offer you helpful suggestions for improvement.

If you’ve written a separate statement of purpose, see whether your editors are willing to check that essay over as well so that you can ensure there isn’t too much overlap between the two.

Step 8: Revise & Edit Your Essay

Once you get feedback, revise and edit your personal statement using your editors’ comments as a guide.

For example, if your editors told you your essay lacked detail, look for places in your writing where you can be more specific and that are likely to have a strong impact on the admission committee.

As you revise, keep an eye out for any awkward sentences or extraneous information. Personal statements are usually pretty brief and you don’t want to accidentally exceed the word limit. So when in doubt, take it out!

Step 9: Proofread

The final step is to proofread your draft. Start by using your computer’s spell check function to quickly find any glaring typos and grammatical errors.

Then, proofread your essay one sentence at a time. Since it’s easy to miss errors in your own writing, I recommend editing your essay from back to front (i.e., from the last sentence to the first sentence). Doing this prevents you from glossing over words and lets you pinpoint punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors more easily.

In addition, check that you have page numbers on each page (if required—though I suggest adding them regardless) and a proper heading (again, if required) that meets the requirements of your program.

Before you submit it, see if you can get someone else (preferably one or all of your editors from step 7) to look over your final draft as well.  If anyone spots a problem with your essay, go back to step 8. If you get all thumbs ups, read over your statement one last time and then turn it in without looking back! (Seriously, don’t read it again or you’re going to want to change something.)

The Key to a Great Graduate School Personal Statement

The personal statement is an essential part of your grad school application. Like the statement of purpose, it highlights your research interests, experiences, and goals.

But more importantly, the personal statement showcases  your unbridled passion for your field, lets you reflect on challenges you’ve faced (and subsequently overcome), and answers the overarching question of why you want to attend grad school.

A great graduate school personal statement will normally include most or all of the following elements:

• A compelling story
• Inspirations for your research interests
• Your motivation for applying to grad school
• Strong writing skills
• Explanations for any changes or problems in your academic career

Above, we walked you through how to write a personal statement for grad school. To recap, here are the nine steps to follow:

• Start early—at least two or three months before your application is due
• Read your program’s instructions for the personal statement
• Figure out your angle by brainstorming ideas
• Ask yourself, “Why this program/field?”
• Make an outline using charts, a list, etc.
• Draft your essay
• Get specific feedback from multiple editors
• Revise and edit your essay
• Proofread (and get other people to proofread it, too!)

What’s Next?

Need to write a statement of purpose, too? Waste no time!  Our expert guide offers tons of tips to help you come up with a statement of purpose that’s certain to impress admission committees.

Do your schools require a CV or resume?  If you’re totally lost on where to begin, read our guides to learn how to put together a great CV or resume for grad school. And for extra help, check out our four original CV and resume templates !

What do you need to submit for your grad school application?  Get the scoop on what kinds of materials you’ll need to prepare when applying to grad school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Hannah Muniz

Hannah graduated summa cum laude from the University of Southern California with a bachelor’s degree in English and East Asian languages and cultures. After graduation, she taught English in Japan for two years via the JET Program. She is passionate about education, writing, and travel. View all posts by Hannah Muniz

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

• Writing a strong college admissions essay
• Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
• Brainstorming tips for your college essay
• How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
• Taking your college essay to the next level

Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback

• Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback
• Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
• Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
• Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
• Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
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January 31, 2024

Strategy for Writing an Accomplishment Essay (with examples)

Maybe you’re familiar with macros – the nutrients your body needs to function. Achieving the proper balance of macros leads to optimal health. When it comes to writing your MBA personal statements and application essays, it might be helpful to think of your accomplishments as the carbohydrates, protein, and fat – in other words, the macros – you need to make your submissions the best they can be. A fascinating brainstorming session among Accepted’s admissions consultants revealed that applicants don’t always understand how MBA adcoms define an accomplishment, so we wrote this post to explain what goes into the recipe for an enticing “accomplishments sandwich” and remove the guesswork on your part. Here are the simple macros:

Carbohydrates = Impact and Initiative

Protein = Overcoming Obstacles

Fats = Demonstrating Leadership

Carbohydrates are known as the “staff of life,” something nearly everyone considers a staple of their diet. Similarly, for your accomplishment essay, your “carbs” are what will . 

For example, maybe you took the initiative to boost membership in a group or led a team to victory. Perhaps you built a coalition in student government. Or you increased sales, cut costs, or found a solution to a problem that paved the way for a critical deal to go forward.

When you assess whether your achievements belong in a greatest accomplishment essay, think impact and initiative . 

Do awards count? It depends. If you won an award for a published story, an athletic competition, or some other “personal best,” then yes, those would be excellent choices for an essay about a personal achievement. More often, however, you will be asked to write about a significant achievement with impact beyond your own personal growth . In these situations, an award you’d like to write about would have had to result from an effort – either academic or professional – that involved a team or people other than yourself. This is the kind of achievement that transcends a “personal best.”  

By now, you can probably see the difference between a primarily personal achievement and a career-related one. You might even already recognize which of your accomplishments are notable enough to write about. But let’s say you don’t have much that feels important enough. How you can identify potential experiences for your accomplishments essay?

A good place to start is by reviewing your resume. Ideally, it will be loaded with as many quantifiable achievements as possible, from both professional and extracurricular roles. If you work in marketing and clinched four new accounts in a single year, leading to a promotion, that’s an achievement. If you work in a social service agency and developed a new intake system for clients that the agency adopted, leading to a more organized and streamlined process, that’s an achievement. In college, you might have been involved in a student organization that promotes career development and leadership among minority students, and even became president of that organization. That’s an achievement.

Which experiences on your resume stand out to you now? No doubt you’ll start to see things popping out at you.

Seemingly small achievements can also be big. The following sample essay offers a great example where the impact seems limited to one person but radiates outward: 

From the first day I was tasked to mentor a new hire, Thomas, it was a challenge. He had strong work experience in product development at his previous job, but he was soft-spoken and reserved, and had a strong stutter. I felt pain for him as he struggled to complete a word or a sentence, but it was also awkward for both of us as I waited for him to finish his point. During a department meeting, someone actually rolled her eyes as Thomas was answering a question. I just glared at her for being so cold. At our weekly department lunches, which were meant to be a relaxed social time for everyone, Thomas hung back quietly, seeming like he was a million miles away. 

I still didn’t understand why Thomas seemed a little slow to catch on to the ways of our department. He was clearly very intelligent. It was taking me longer to complete my own work because of the extra time I was spending with him on his assignments. One afternoon on a whim, I invited him to join me for dinner at a popular burger place. He looked surprised but agreed.

That night broke the ice. Thomas relaxed and enjoyed his dinner, and I noticed his speech was more fluid as well. We discovered a mutual love of soccer and political thriller novels. I really enjoyed his company and told him so. We went out again the following week to an Italian place that he chose. On our third “date,” Thomas opened up about a broken engagement that happened just before he started this new job. He knew that his grief was distracting him, clouding his thinking, and making his stutter worse. 

“I know I’ve not been easy to train,” he told me, “but I’m starting to come out of it now.” After that night, Thomas’s work improved rapidly. He risked speaking up more at the weekly lunches and at meetings, and everyone was patient when he struggled to say something, though those occasions were less frequent. 

I consider this mentoring experience one of my greatest accomplishments, because in trying to befriend a coworker, I not only gained a true friend for myself but also helped him gain confidence and perform to his capacity at work. It was the first time in my life I felt I had such a strong and positive impact on another person. It showed me the power of small gestures of friendship and understanding. 

This writer’s decision to offer a listening ear to a coworker who was clearly in some sort of distress became an inspiring achievement that was both personal and professional. His actions had impact that flowed outward beyond just Thomas to the entire department and organization. 

Protein= Overcoming Obstacles

Overcoming obstacles such as a lack of resources – time, money, talent, or people – magnifies your accomplishments. Our best-laid plans rarely go smoothly, so make sure you discuss any difficulties you faced. By the way, the obstacle can work “double-duty,” representing a failure that you experienced and chose to learn from, while also showing that you emerged wiser and more capable at the end. When discussing either obstacles or failures, make sure not to blame other people or circumstances, or to complain about the unfairness of it all. Pointing fingers makes you look small and as though you want to avoid accountability. State the facts simply, and the situation will speak for itself. 

Here’s an example of how one applicant dealt with a significant obstacle: 

My book launch had been planned for nearly one year. This was my first book, a biography about my great-grandmother, a trailblazing homeopathic physician who lived at a time when even regular women MDs were a rarity. I wanted to self-publish but knew there was a huge amount of work involved that I didn’t feel suited for. There was editing, design, layout, marketing, getting the book accepted into the book distribution system, logistics, and more. Most published books are quickly forgotten and sell few copies. I didn’t want that to happen to mine. 

My solution was to sign an agreement with my friend Haley to publish my book. She was a talented graphic artist who had set up her own publishing company to publish her husband’s book. Our agreement spelled out our individual financial obligations and responsibilities, but I had a nagging worry. Her marriage was tumultuous, and she could make impulsive decisions. 

Six weeks before the publishing date, a popular book blogger promised a 5-star review on her blog. I also sold an excerpt to a women’s magazine with more than 4 million readers. I was still doing my “happy dance” when Haley called to tell me that our deal was off. She was leaving her husband and driving to stay with her mother, who lived in another state. She said she’d be in touch to work something out. She didn’t say when.

I was furious and anguished. My biggest problem was that the book’s ISBN (identification) numbers for print and digital downloads were assigned to Haley’s company and could not be reassigned to anyone else. Haley also had the distribution and payment agreements in her name. I could have kicked myself for not listening to my intuition, which warned me against working with someone whose life was so upside-down.

I researched my options. The ISBNs could not be transferred to me, but if I bought her publishing company, I would also own her ISBNs. I had no idea if Haley would agree to this or how we would work out terms, but the only way to save my book was to do the very thing I had tried to avoid: become a publisher myself. 

The following week, Haley agreed to sell me her publishing company for a token amount. It had no assets, and I had already paid for all book-related costs, except for Haley’s time. She also promised to help me with the transition of all the accounts. I decided not to look too far ahead and just focus on giving my book the best send-off into the world that I could. I named the publishing company after my great-grandmother. 

This story about a close call with a publishing disaster revealed the writer’s achievement of stretching beyond what she thought she could do and moving forward because she had to. Making lemonade out of lemons this way was certainly an achievement worth sharing.  

Let’s review where we are so far with our “macros”       

Protein = Overcoming Obstacles 

Now, let’s incorporate our “fats.”       

Leadership accomplishments that work well in application essays usually involve one’s ability to influence, motivate, persuade, direct, and work effectively with others. This adds much needed energy to your essay.                

Think about how you have worked with other people – how you led a team, what you learned, and so on. What specifically did you do to demonstrate leadership skills? What did you learn about leadership , and how have you grown as a leader through the experience?

In this next example, the writer’s accomplishment through leadership seemed almost accidental:

My job teaching in a private school began uneventfully. I had a class of bright 4th graders, with only a handful expected to be “challenging.” I loved my supervisor, Monica, who was a gifted teacher but new to her role as a team lead overseeing the 3rd and 4th grades. In addition to having one class of her own, Monica was supposed to create interventions for struggling students, incentivize specific behavior or achievements, plan events and trips, and offer guidance to teachers. 

Monica quickly showed that her skill set was strong in the classroom but not in administration. She let requests from teachers for interventions or advice pile up, and she got testy when I reminded her that I was waiting for her feedback. I wanted to work with her and not against her, so I offered to help. I suggested we meet twice a week after school to review her in-box, which was when I discovered that just by having me sit and listen to her discuss the situations, she focused much better. Although I only had two years’ experience as a teacher, Monica still seemed to value my opinion on handling awkward situations, such as when a wealthy parent who was on the school’s board of directors refused to face the reality of her daughter’s chronically aggressive behavior in class. This case was bigger than the both of us. We agreed that Monica needed to bring it to the headmistress of the school for her intervention.

About halfway through the year, Monica and I were still meeting regularly. It was an unexpected partnership, and it was clear to both of us that she wanted to return to full-time teaching. I realized that the administrative tasks and decision-making came more naturally to me than to her, and that after a few more years of teaching experience and a master’s degree in education, I might enjoy having a job like hers. 

Another person in her situation might have simply become angry or resentful at my trying to play a role in her job. She could have shut me out completely. But Monica and I became friends, and I learned a lot from watching her dynamism in the classroom. Additionally, she courageously told the headmistress about our arrangement and asked if the school could pay me for my extra hours – which it did. 

This was a totally unexpected situation that helped me realize that I wanted to take a fork in the road of my career in education. 

Finding the experiences in your life where you have shown initiative and impact, overcome obstacles, and demonstrated leadership will help you write an essay deserving of a chef’s kiss!

Are you thinking about what you could include in a winning accomplishments essay? Team up with Accepted’s consultants for help identifying your best material. As your partner and guide in this process, we will ensure that your selections make you stand out for all the right reasons!

By Judy Gruen, former Accepted admissions consultant. Judy holds a master’s in journalism from Northwestern University. She is also the co-author of Accepted’s first full-length book, MBA Admission for Smarties: The No-Nonsense Guide to Acceptance at Top Business Schools . Want an admissions expert help you get accepted? Click here to get in touch!

Related Resources:

• From Example to Exemplary , your guide to writing outstanding essays
•   Four Ways to Show How You’ll Contribute in the Future
• Four Tips for Highlighting Your Strengths in Your Application Essays

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Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters

Keep up your momentum by acknowledging and rewarding yourself for each step forward.

Melissa Russell

Many of us tend to celebrate life’s big wins: graduation, marriage, a first big job, or buying our first home. But accomplishing big projects successfully requires many small steps along the way.

It can be difficult to see the bigger picture when you’re working toward a long-term goal. Recognizing small wins along the way is not only an important part of making progress, but can also help keep you motivated.

We don’t always celebrate those small steps as the wins they are, but they are necessary to keep the big wins coming. So, how do we celebrate our small wins?

What Is a “Small Win?”

There is a 5th-century Chinese proverb, “A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step.” There’s a reason that has stood the test of time! A journey of 1,000 miles can feel so overwhelming that you may never begin it.

A small step is a win because it creates momentum that will propel you toward your bigger goals. Breaking projects into small steps can also reduce fear, clarify direction, and increase the probability of future success.

What are small wins? If you are trying to improve your health, getting up a little earlier to take a walk is a small win. Going to the gym after school or work is a small win. Choosing a nutritious option at a restaurant is a small win. Each of these achievements brings you a little closer to your long-term goal. While small wins might not feel like much at the time, with consistency and persistence, they will lead you toward a larger, more ambitious accomplishment. They are worthy of celebration because small wins are building blocks for future success.

What Are the Benefits of Celebrating “Small” Accomplishments?

Celebrating small wins can boost your mood and improve confidence in your accomplishments, keeping you motivated as you pursue a larger goal. It helps you form good habits, like healthful eating or consistent study habits, and proves you can take on challenges.

Setbacks in life are common , especially when dealing with complex problems, so celebrating the small wins will help you see that long-term achievement doesn’t always happen in a linear way. If you suffer a setback but can acknowledge even a small advance, that can be enough to keep you on track.

By celebrating small wins, you can hone skills such as maintaining focus, goal setting , prioritizing, and organizing, which can lead to greater self-confidence and self-esteem . Celebrating each small step creates a sense of purpose as you navigate life’s challenges, whether big or small.  Leveraging quick wins can also inspire and motivate others . If you are working on a project as part of a team, celebrating these milestones can create a culture of encouragement and help prevent burnout.

How Can You Recognize Achieving a Small Win?

You can recognize small wins in multiple ways. If you spent an hour filling out a summer program application, reward yourself! There is no one “best” way to acknowledge smaller steps along the way to larger goals, but here are a few ideas:

• Track progress for a mental boost in a journal, spreadsheet, or app. Crossing items off the list is often a reward unto itself! 
• Treat yourself with a small reward, even if it is just a 5 minute break to get some fresh air.
• Share your win with friends, family, or colleagues.
• Have both a short- and long-term plan toward larger goals, such as setting smaller milestones along the way.
• Aim for progress, not perfection.

If you are working as part of a team, acknowledgment during a meeting shares group success with all the team members. Recognition can also be more formalized, such as a post on social media, sharing your success with a wider audience.

How Can You Achieve Greater Success?

One way to stay on track is to establish SMART goals . SMART is an acronym for effective steps to set and achieve goals, and can help you practice goal setting :

• Specific: Make sure goals are clear and well-defined.
• Measurable: You should define what you consider completion, so you’re not chasing a never-ending goal.
• Attainable: Set a goal that is challenging but reasonably within reach.
• Realistic: Consider resources available and time constraints as you set reasonable, attainable goals.
• Time-bound: If a goal has a date attached, you are more likely to achieve it. If it is a big goal, break it down into those small wins to help you stay on track as you move toward that ultimate prize. 

Here are a few other ways to keep the momentum going:

• Learn from the steps along the way — what did the small wins teach you?
• Have fun — it is much easier to reach your goal when you are enjoying the journey! 
• Think positively and seek support if you are feeling discouraged. 
• Change your perspective — turn a challenging situation into a better one by refocusing.
• Take away distractions — turn off your phone and put it in another room! Same for the computer and/or TV.

Most importantly, keep learning! Whether you are in high school or college, Harvard Summer School has courses that can help you build valuable skills such as programming, communication, and public speaking and propel you toward accomplishing your goals.

If you are a highly motivated and passionate learner who enjoys being challenged, you may find success through Harvard Summer School. Programs help students develop a wide variety of skills, including time management, building connections, and others that will help smooth the transition to college and work life.

Registering definitely counts as a small win!

Accomplish your goals with Harvard’s summer programs for high school students

About the Author

Melissa Russell is an award-winning journalist and editor living in the Boston area. She has written for many news outlets as well as for websites, trade publications and other platforms.

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Meet the deans who are an integral part of the Harvard Secondary School Program experience.

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California teachers are using AI to grade papers. Who’s grading the AI?

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California schools are using more chatbots, and teachers are using them to grade papers and give students feedback.

Lea esta historia en Español

Your children could be some of a growing number of California kids having their writing graded by software instead of a teacher.

California school districts are signing more contracts for artificial intelligence tools, from automated grading in San Diego to chatbots in central California, Los Angeles, and the San Francisco Bay Area. 

English teachers say AI tools can help them grade papers faster, get students more feedback, and improve their learning experience. But guidelines are vague and adoption by teachers and districts is spotty. 

The California Department of Education can’t tell you which schools use AI or how much they pay for it. The state doesn’t track AI use by school districts, said Katherine Goyette, computer science coordinator for the California Department of Education. 

While Goyette said chatbots are the most common form of AI she’s encountered in schools, more and more California teachers are using AI tools to help grade student work. That’s consistent with surveys that have found teachers use AI as often if not more than students , news that contrasts sharply with headlines about fears of students cheating with AI.  

Teachers use AI to do things like personalize reading material, create lesson plans, and other tasks in order to save time and and reduce burnout . A report issued last fall in response to an AI executive order by Gov. Gavin Newsom mentions opportunities to use AI for tutoring, summarization, and personalized content generation, but also labels education a risky use case. Generative AI tools have been known to create convincing but inaccurate answers to questions, and use toxic language or imagery laden with racism or sexism.

California issued guidance for how educators should use the technology last fall, one of seven states to do so. It encourages critical analysis of text and imagery created by AI models and conversations between teachers and students about what amounts to ethical or appropriate use of AI in the classroom.

But no specific mention is made of how teachers should treat AI that grades assignments. Additionally, the California education code states that guidance from the state is “merely exemplary, and that compliance with the guidelines is not mandatory.”

Goyette said she’s waiting to see if the California Legislature passes Senate Bill 1288 , which would require state Superintendent Tony Thurmond to create an AI working group to issue further guidance to local school districts on how to safely use AI. Cosponsored by Thurmond, the bill also calls for an assessment of the current state of AI in education and for the identification of forms of AI that can harm students and educators by 2026.

Nobody tracks what AI tools school districts are adopting or the policy they use to enforce standards, said Alix Gallagher, head of strategic partnerships at the Policy Analysis for California Education center at Stanford University. Since the state does not track curriculum that school districts adopt or software in use, it would be highly unusual for them to track AI contracts, she said.

Amid AI hype, Gallagher thinks people can lose sight of the fact that the technology is just a tool and it will only be as good or problematic as the decisions of the humans using that tool, which is why she repeatedly urges investments in helping teachers understand AI tools and how to be thoughtful about their use and making space for communities are given voice about how to best meet their kid’s needs.

“Some people will probably make some pretty bad decisions that are not in the best interests of kids, and some other people might find ways to use maybe even the same tools to enrich student experiences,” she said.

Teachers use AI to grade English papers

Last summer, Jen Roberts, an English teacher at Point Loma High School in San Diego, went to a training session to learn how to use Writable, an AI tool that automates grading writing assignments and gives students feedback powered by OpenAI. For the past school year, Roberts used Writable and other AI tools in the classroom, and she said it’s been the best year yet of nearly three decades of teaching. Roberts said it has made her students better writers, not because AI did the writing for them, but because automated feedback can tell her students faster than she can how to improve, which in turn allows her to hand out more writing assignments.  

“At this point last year, a lot of students were still struggling to write a paragraph, let alone an essay with evidence and claims and reasoning and explanation and elaboration and all of that,” Roberts said. “This year, they’re just getting there faster.”

Roberts feels Writable is “very accurate” when grading her students of average aptitude. But, she said, there’s a downside: It sometimes assigns high-performing students lower grades than merited and struggling students higher grades. She said she routinely checks answers when the AI grades assignments, but only checks the feedback it gives students occasionally. 

“In actual practicality, I do not look at the feedback it gives every single student,” she said. “That’s just not a great use of my time. But I do a lot of spot checking and I see what’s going on and if I see a student that I’m worried about get feedback, (I’m like) ‘Let me go look at what his feedback is and then go talk to him about that.’”

Alex Rainey teaches English to fourth graders at Chico Country Day School in northern California. She used GPT-4, a language model made by OpenAI which costs $20 a month, to grade papers and provide feedback. After uploading her grading rubric and examples of her written feedback, she used AI to grade assignments about animal defense mechanisms, allowing GPT-4 to analyze students’ grammar and sentence structure while she focused on assessing creativity.

“I feel like the feedback it gave was very similar to how I grade my kids, like my brain was tapped into it,” she said.

Like Roberts she found that it saves time, transforming work that took hours into less than an hour, but also found that sometimes GPT-4 is a tougher grader than she is. She agrees that quicker feedback and the ability to dole out more writing assignments produces better writers. A teacher can assign more writing before delivering feedback but “then kids have nothing to grow from.”

Rainey said her experience grading with GPT-4 left her in agreement with Roberts, that more feedback and writing more often produces better writers. She feels strongly that teachers still need to oversee grading and feedback by AI, “but I think it’s amazing. I couldn’t go backwards now.”

The cost of using AI in the classroom

Contracts involving artificial intelligence can be lucrative. 

To launch a chatbot named Ed, Los Angeles Unified School District signed a $6.2 million contract for two years with the option of renewing for three additional years. Magic School AI is used by educators in Los Angeles and costs $100 per teacher per year. 

Despite repeated calls and emails over the span of roughly a month, Writable and the San Diego Unified School District declined to share pricing details with CalMatters. A district spokesperson said teachers got access to Writeable through a contract with Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for English language learners. 

Quill is an AI-powered writing tool for students in grades 4-12 made by the company Quill. Quill says its tool is currently used at 1,000 schools in California and has more than 13,000 student and educator users in San Diego alone. An annual Quill Premium subscription costs $80 per teacher or $1800 per school.

Quill does not generate writing for students like ChatGPT or grade writing assignments, but gives students feedback on their writing. Quill is a nonprofit that’s raised $20 million from groups like Google’s charitable foundation and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation over the past 10 years.

Even if a teacher or district wants to shell out for an AI tool, guidance for safe and responsible use is still getting worked out. 

Governments are placing high-risk labels on forms of AI with the power to make critical decisions about whether a person gets a job or rents an apartment or receives government benefits . California Federation of Teachers President Jeff Freitas said he hasn’t considered whether AI for grading is moderate or high risk, but “it definitely is a risk to use for grading.”

The California Federation of Teachers is a union with 120,000 members. Freitas told CalMatters he’s concerned about AI having a number of consequences in the classroom. He’s worried administrators may use it to justify increasing classroom sizes or adding to teacher workloads; he’s worried about climate change and the amount of energy needed to train and deploy AI models’ he’s worried about protecting students’ privacy, and he’s worried about automation bias.

Regulators around the world wrestling with AI praise approaches where it is used to augment human decisionmaking instead of replacing it. But it’s difficult for laws to account for automation bias and humans becoming placing too much trust in machines.

The American Federation of Teachers created an AI working group in October 2023 to propose guidance on how educators should use the technology or talk about it in collective bargaining contract negotiations. Freitas said those guidelines are due out in the coming weeks.

“We’re trying to provide guidelines for educators to not solely rely on (AI), he said. “It should be used as a tool, and you should not lose your critical analysis of what it’s producing for you.” 

State AI guidelines for teachers

Goyette, the computer science coordinator for the education department, helped create state AI guidelines and speaks to county offices of education for in-person training on AI for educators. She also helped create an online AI training series for educators. She said the most popular online course is about workflow and efficiency , which shows teachers how to automate lesson planning and grading.

“Teachers have an incredibly important and tough job, and what’s most important is that they’re building relationships with their students,” she said. “There’s decades of research that speaks to the power of that, so if they can save time on mundane tasks so that they can spend more time with their students, that’s a win.”

Alex Kotran, chief executive of an education nonprofit that’s supported by Google and OpenAI, said they found that it’s hard to design a language model to predictably match how a teacher grades papers.

He spoke with teachers willing to accept a model that’s accurate 80% of the time in order to reap the reward of time saved, but he thinks it’s probably safe to say that a student or parent would want to make sure an AI model used for grading is even more accurate.

Kotran of the AI Education Project thinks it makes sense for school districts to adopt a policy that says teachers should be wary any time they use AI tools that can have disparate effects on student’s lives. 

Even with such a policy, teachers can still fall victim to trusting AI without question. And even if the state kept track of AI used by school districts, there’s still the possibility that teachers will purchase technology for use on their personal computers.

Kotran said he routinely speaks with educators across the U.S. and is not aware of any systematic studies to verify the effectiveness and consistency of AI for grading English papers.

When teachers can’t tell if they’re cheating

Roberts, the Point Loma High School teacher,  describes herself as pro technology. 

She regularly writes and speaks about AI.  Her experiences have led her to the opinion that grading with AI is what’s best for her students, but she didn’t arrive at that conclusion easily. 

At first she questioned whether using AI for grading and feedback could hurt her understanding of her students. Today she views using AI like the cross-country coach who rides alongside student athletes in a golf cart, like an aid that helps her assist her students better.

Roberts says the average high school English teacher in her district has roughly 180 students. Grading and feedback can take between five to 10 minutes per assignment she says, so between teaching, meetings, and other duties, it can take two to three weeks to get feedback back into the hands of students unless a teacher decides to give up large chunks of their weekends. With AI, it takes Roberts a day or two.

Ultimately she concluded that “if my students are growing as writers, then I don’t think I’m cheating.” She says AI reduces her fatigue, giving her more time to focus on struggling students and giving them more detailed feedback.

“My job is to make sure you grow, and that you’re a healthy, happy, literate adult by the time you graduate from high school, and I will use any tool that helps me do that, and I’m not going to get hung up on the moral aspects of that,” she said. “My job is not to spend every Saturday reading essays. Way too many English teachers work way too many hours a week because they are grading students the old-fashioned way.”

Roberts also thinks AI might be a less biased grader in some instances than human teachers who can adjust their grading for students sometimes to give them the benefit of the doubt or be punitive if they were particularly annoying in class recently.

She isn’t worried about students cheating with AI, a concern she characterizes as a moral panic. She points to a Stanford University study released last fall which found that students cheated just as much before the advent of ChatGPT as they did a year after the release of the AI. 

Goyette said she understands why students question whether some AI use by teachers is like cheating. Education department AI guidelines encourage teachers and students to use the technology more. What’s essential, Goyette said, is that teachers discuss what ethical use of AI looks like in their classroom, and convey that — like using a calculator in math class — using AI is accepted or encouraged for some assignments and not others. 

For the last assignment of the year, Robers has one final experiment to run: Edit an essay written entirely by AI. But they must change at least 50% of the text, make it 25% longer, write their own thesis, and add quotes from classroom reading material. The idea, she said, is to prepare them for a future where AI writes the first draft and humans edit the results to fit their needs. 

“It used to be you weren’t allowed to bring a calculator into the SATs and now you’re supposed to bring your calculator so things change,” she said. “It’s just moral panic. Things change and people freak out and that’s what’s happening.”

For the record: An earlier version of this story misnamed the AI tool made by the company Quill. Quill is both the name of the company and the tool.

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Khari Johnson

Khari Johnson is part of the economy team and is CalMatters’ first tech reporter. He has covered artificial intelligence since 2016. Khari previously worked at WIRED, VentureBeat, and Imperial Beach... More by Khari Johnson

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Spring 2024 Student Accomplishments

May 31, 2024

Throughout each quarter, we collect various accomplishments—from awards and appearances to publications and presentations and more—from Pritzker students to highlight and promote their outstanding work to the rest of the community.

Submit your own achievements for our next quarterly round up of student accomplishments through this page .

If you have an upcoming event, such as a media appearance or panel discussion, submit the information in advance so we might be able to help promote your participation in the event. You can also submit your peers' accomplishments, though we will seek their permission before publishing or promoting them.

Spring 2024 Student Accomplishments:

Isaiah Brown, MS4, presented his Scholarship & Discovery project “Delivery Room Interventions Beyond Intubation for Extremely Early Newborns: Ethical Considerations for Counseling” at the Pediatric Academic Societies in Toronto. He was mentored on the project by Dalia Feltman, MD, MA. Isaiah was also selected as a research fellow for the 2024 Chicago Gun Violence Research Collaborative (CGVRC) fellowship program and will participate in the Sinai Population Health Institute, which will teach fellows about the root causes of gun violence and initiatives to address these causes.

Julia Chavez, MS4, published a first-author paper in the American College of Surgeons Bulletin titled “‘Four Evils’ Plagued Surgery Practice in the 20th Century.” The paper was part of her 2022-2023ACS Surgical History Fellowship and can be read here .

Mohan Chennakesavalu, MS4, published a first-author paper in Cell Reports titled “Small-molecule inhibition of the METTL3/METTL14 complex suppresses neuroblastoma tumor growth and promotes differentiation.”

Claudia Covelli Velez, MS1, was accepted to present her project “Institutional Factors in Access to Care for Transition: The Role of Hospital Religion” at the National LGBTQ Health Conference in Atlanta in August. Claudia was mentored on the project by Debra Stulberg, MD

Zharia Crisp, MS2, published a paper in MedEdPortal titled “Core Competencies of an Anti-racist Physician: Elective Course for Undergraduate Medical Students.” The paper resulted from research started in her gap year with the National Anti-racism in Medicine Curriculum Coalition and J. Corey Williams, MD, MA, and it can be read here .

Daniel Johnson, MS4 , was selected for the Fellowships at Auschwitz for the Study of Professional Ethics, an intensive, two-week study program in professional ethics and ethical leadership taking place in Germany and Poland this summer. Daniel also received a Sarnoff Fellowship and will be conducting health policy research at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston.

Gabby Keller, MS1, and Kiara Revels, MS1, were awarded the American Academy of Dermatology Good Skin Knowledge Grant to continue to provide dermatologic education in under resourced schools in conjunction with the South Side Science Scholars Program. They were mentored on the effort by Adena Rosenblatt, MD .

Marissa Korte, MS4, had a first-author paper accepted for publication in the Delirium Journal titled “Nurse-Driven 4AT Delirium Screen and Outcomes in Hospitalized Older Adults.” The project originated in Scholarship & Discovery, and Marissa was mentored by Laura Gleason, MD, MPH .

Wendy Luo, MS4, published a first-author paper in Hospital Pediatrics titled “COVID-19 and Intentional Toxic Pediatric Acetaminophen Ingestions: A Research Brief.” The project originated in the Pritzker Summer Research Program, and Wendy was mentored by Jason Kane, MD, MS. Read the paper here .

Diana Marino Nunez, MS4, was selected as a committee member of the UChicago Provost’s Sexual Misconduct Student Advisory Board, a group of students that meets quarterly in order to serve as a liaison between the Office of the Provost UChicago CARES (Center for Awareness, Resolution, Education, and Support) and undergraduate, graduate, and professional students regarding sexual misconduct.

Rimel Mwamba, MS4, received the International House Non-Resident Graduate Fellowship Award from UChicago Grad

Nihar Rama, MS2, had a paper accepted for publication in OTO Open titled “Trends in Procedural Management of Meniere's Disease: Analysis of a National Insurance Claims Database.” Nihar was also part of three projects presented at the Society of General Internal Medicine Annual Meeting, including a first author poster titled “Clinician-Facilitated Case-Based Discussions to Illustrate Healthcare System Barriers Augmented Health Policy Education for Pre-Clinical Medical Students.” He also presented a co-author oral presentation, “Role of Radiotherapy in Laryngeal Neuroendocrine Carcinoma: a National Cancer Database (NCDB) Analysis” (mentors: Christopher Roxbury, MD , and Brandon Baird, MD ), and a first-author poster at the 2024 Combined Otolaryngology Spring Meetings. An abstract of Nihar’s Pritzker Summer Research Program project, “Factors associated with delays in care of suspicious lung nodules at an academic medical center,” was published online as a supplement to the 2024 ASCO Annual Meeting.

Alia Richardson, MS2, received the Student Research Award from the Academic Pediatric Association for her research “Psychosocial Predictors of Adolescent Depression and Mental Health Referral in a Mobile Medical Unit Program on Chicago’s South Side.” The project originated in the Pritzker Summer Research Program, and Alia was mentored by Anna Volerman, MD , and Icy Cade Bell, MD .

Shohan Shetty, MS1, published a paper in Neuropsychopharmacology titled “The selective D3Receptor antagonist VK4-116 reverses loss of insight caused by self-administration of cocaine in rats.” The project originated in his gap year, and the paper can be read here .

Abigail Sneider, MS4, published a paper in Lancet Oncology titled “Two Physician Certification in End-of-Life Decision-Making.” She was mentored on the project by Peter Angelos, MD, PhD .

Gabrielle Sudilovsky, MS1, received Second Place for Best Oral Presentation at the 2024 LMSA Midwest Conference, presenting research from her gap year in the Leukodystrophy Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia with Adeline Vanderver, MD. Gabrielle also helped OUTPatient, Pritzker’s chapter of the Medical Student Pride Alliance, achieve registered student organization (RSO) status at the University of Chicago.

Yena Woo, MS1, published a paper in the Journal for ImmunoTherapy of Cancer titled “Impact of immunotherapy time-of-day infusion on survival and immunologic correlates in patients with metastatic renal cell carcinoma: a multicenter cohort analysis.” The paper originated in undergraduate research at Emory University and can be read here .