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Blog > Essay Examples , UC Essays > 9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions
Key Takeaway
We talk a lot about essays in the college application process. And for good reason. Essays are one of the most critical parts of your application, and the University of California Personal Insight Questions are no different. Even though theyâre quite different from personal statements or supplemental essays , UC essays serve a similar purpose: to help admissions officers get to know you and envision you on their campus.
But the tricky thing about UC essays is that they have a very particular style and form. If you donât write your UC essays in the right way, you risk tanking your application.
Writing them the right way, however, can land you in the admit pile.
Let's start by looking at an example essay. Then we'll dive into the prompts themselves, go over some strategy, and and look at even more examples. Ready?
UC Example Essay - Prompt #7
Weâve got an extra example for Prompt #7: . This one comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. Itâs about a studentâs initiative to bring literacy to their community. Take a look:
This writer makes it very clear what community theyâre talking about. They state the problem (libraries closing down), their solution (filling the library gap through book club), and the action steps they took to make their community a better place.
Along the way, we clearly see their strengths: they are willing to take initiative and to think critically about what the community needs. The essay also answers the entire prompt and meets the style and tone requirements of UC essays. Itâs clear, action-oriented, and to-the-point. Excellent!
Now, let's actually take a look at the prompts.
The UC Personal Insight Question Prompts
The University of California system, which consists of nine campuses across the state, requires students to apply directly via their institutional application portal. That means that you wonât be submitting your Common Application to them or writing school-specific supplemental essays. Instead, youâll choose four of the following eight prompts to respond to.
Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?
Once you have your prompts chosen, the essays themselves should be no greater than 350 words each.
Together, your essays should be different but cohesive enough to tell a fairly complete story of who you are.
Before we get to the examples, we have a few tips to keep you on track.
How to Write the UC Personal Insight Questions
Okay, so we actually have a whole other comprehensive guide to the UC essays that breaks down the process in extreme detail.
So for now, weâll just go over the essentials.
Whatâs helpful about the UC PIQs is that we donât have to guess what admissions officers are looking forâthe UCs tell us directly in the Points of Comprehensive Review . Read through all thirteen points, but pay special attention to #10. Thatâs where your essays will be doing the heaviest lifting.
With that in mind, there are four rules for writing UC essays that you should stick to like glue:
Answer the prompt.
Weâll say it again for the people in the back: answer the prompt! The UC essay prompts ask very specific questions and contain multiple parts. If you misinterpret the prompt, you may end up writing the completely wrong essay.
You might find that diagramming or annotating the prompts helps you pull out the important pieces. Break down what each of your chosen prompts asks you to do, and list out all the questions in order. That way, youâll make sure youâre not missing anything.
Skip the fluff.
Your personal statement likely has some creative descriptions or metaphors. You may have even incorporated figurative or poetic language into your supplementals. And thatâs great. In fact, thatâs encouraged (within reason, of course).
But UC essays are different. Theyâre all business.
Whereas your personal statement might open with an attention-catching hook that describes a scene in vivid detail, your UC essays should jump straight in. In general, your essay should be organized in a clear way that tells a straightforward story.
Focus on action steps.
As we saw in the Points of Comprehensive Review, admissions officers want to learn about how your concrete experiences have shaped you. That means that your essays should revolve around action steps rather than, say, 350 words of intense personal reflection. What those action steps should look like will depend on the prompts youâve chosen. But by the end of your essay, your admissions officers should know what youâve done and why.
Show a strength.
In the UC essays, itâs easy to get caught up in the details of the prompt and style of the essay. But donât lose sight of the purpose of any college essay in the process: to showcase a strength to your admissions officers.
Every UC essay you write should correspond with a specific strength. That might be wisdom, artistry, good judgement, entrepreneurship, leadershipâyou get the idea.
Letâs say you want one of your essays to demonstrate leadership. The idea isnât that you come out and say, âThis shows that I am a leader.â Instead, by the end of the essay, after reading about everything youâve done and reflected on, your admissions officers should sit back in their chair and say, âWow, that student is a leader.â Youâll see what we mean in the examples.
Because of all these golden rules, your UC essays will look quite different than your Common Application essay or supplementals. Theyâll probably look quite different from any essay youâve written.
Thatâs where examples come in handy. Ready to dive in?
UC Prompt 1: Leadership
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
Prompt 1 Example Essay
When we moved to a new neighborhood, my dad always complained about the house next to us. Full of weeds and random objects, it had clearly been neglected(( Notice how, at least compared with common application personal essays, the tone of this essay is much more staid?)) .
I didnât pay much attention to his complaints until one day when I saw that our neighbor was an elderly man. He was struggling to bring his trash to the bins outside. Suddenly, it all clicked. If taking out the garbage was a challenge, then surely he wasnât able to do yard work. Thatâs why it looked neglected.
My dad always taught me that leadership isnât about giving orders. Itâs about doing what needs to be done(( A direct, succinct definition of leadership.)) . With this advice in mind, I decided that I would help our neighbor.
After my realization, I went and knocked on our neighborâs door. I introduced myself and learned that his name was Hank. When the time was right, I informed him that Iâd be cutting our grass the following weekend and would love to cut his as well. Hank initially refused.
Speaking with Hank, I learned that leadership is also about listening to peopleâs needs(( Showing a lesson from the experience.)) . In that moment, Hank needed to be reassured that I wanted to help. I told him it would be easy for me to cross over to his yard while I had the equipment out. He finally agreed.
The next Saturday, I got to work. The job would be bigger than I expected. All the objects needed to be picked up before I could mow. I decided to enlist the help of my two younger siblings. At first, they said no. But a good leader knows how to inspire, so I told them about Hank and explained why it was important to help. Together, we cleaned up the yard. Now, each time I mow our lawn, I mow Hankâs afterward.
Through this experience, I learned that leadership is about seeing problems and finding solutions. Most importantly, itâs about attitude and kindness(( The author of this essay does a good job staying focused on a clear definition.)) . The neighborhood is grateful that the eyesore is gone, Hank is grateful for the help, and I am grateful for my new friend.
Word Count: 343
UC Essay Checklist
Does the writer convey a strength?
Yes. The writer shows initiative in seeking out the neighbor and willingness to help in all the hard work they did.
Is every part of the prompt answered?
Yes. Since this prompt has an âor,â we know that the writer doesnât have to meet every single criterion listed. They respond to the âpositively influenced othersâ part of the prompt, which we can see through their interactions with their neighbor.
Does the writer adhere to UC conventions?
Yes. The essay is straightforward and clearly organized. The writer lists action steps in chronological order.
UC Prompt 2: Creativity
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
Prompt 2 Example Essay
As a cellist, I express my creativity through music(( Directly answering the prompt up front. )) . Whether Iâm playing in a symphony, chamber orchestra, quartet, or solo performance, I bring my art to the world with my instrument. My creativity has transformed me from a small child playing out of tune to a solo artist featured in my stateâs youth symphony.
Iâve loved music from a young age, and I began playing the cello when I was six years old. What began as a hobby to keep an energetic child engaged has become my lifeâs purpose.
At first, I only played along with my private lesson teacher, Ms. Smith. I loved dancing my fingers across the fingerboard, plucking the strings, and making screeching noises with my bow. Ms. Smith told my parents that I had promise but needed to develop discipline. Despite my young age, I listened. By the time I reached middle school, I had made principal cellist in my schoolâs orchestra. Leading a section of fellow cellists brought my creativity to a whole new level. Not only was I expressing myself through my own music, but I also expressed myself through my leadership. With a subtle nod or an expressive sway, I learned to shape the music those behind me played. I felt most comfortable and free when I was playing my cello.
That feeling only grew as I moved into high school. In ninth grade, I landed my first solo. With it came a new creative sensation: stage fright(( This part of the essay distracts a bit from the main theme.)) . Until then, Iâd only experienced positive emotions while playing. I needed to make solo performance more positive. With endless practice and exercises like playing for the public on the sidewalk, I learned that solo performance is simply a way to share my love of music with those around me.
Now, as principal cellist of my stateâs youth orchestra, I jump at the chance to perform any solo I can get. Getting to this point has taken me countless late nights practicing in my bedroom and weekends spent in rehearsals. But without my cello to express my creative side, I wouldnât be me.
Word Count: 347
Yes. The writer is an artistâa musician specifically. Their creativity shines through.
Yes. This prompt is pretty straightforward: âDescribe how you express your creative side,â which the writer does by describing their love of the cello. Notice how the writer doesnât just say theyâre creative because they play the cello. They describe that creativity in detail.
Mostly. The short paragraph about stage fright takes us on a slight detour from the prompt. To make this essay even better, the writer could have eliminated that anecdote or reframed it to be more about creative expression.
UC Prompt 3: Talent or Skill
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
Prompt 3 Example Essay
How many toes does an armadillo have? What were the main causes of the Crimean War? Who discovered atoms? When my friends or family have questions, they come to me for answers. I am an expert researcher. Although my passion for research began as a fun hobby, it has evolved into one of my greatest skills(( The writer opens with an interesting but not too out-there hook and then gets straight to answering the prompt.)) .
My first real mystery came when I was in ninth grade. My mom wanted to track down an old friend from high school but hadnât had any luck searching on her own. Having grown up with the internet, I was my momâs best chance. Not sure where to begin, I took to YouTube tutorials. Using the few family details my mom remembered, I tracked down the friendâs brother then found the friendâs married name(( Hereâs a great example of what the skill looks like.)) . Alasâwe found her on social media. I felt triumphant as I saw the happiness wash over my momâs face.
Since then, my skill has grown exponentially(( And here the writer gets at the âdeveloped and demonstrated the talent over timeâ part of the prompt.)) . Combining my natural curiosity with my love of history, Iâve advanced my research skills by volunteering with my local library for the past two years. I have learned about how keywords and search engines work, practiced cataloging and archiving, and waded my way through the intricacies of the libraryâs database technology. Suddenly, researching wasnât just about finding peopleâs Facebook profiles. It was about having any information I wanted to find at my fingertips.
Access to information is more important now than ever. Thatâs why I decided to put my research knowledge to work. Part of being a good researcher is teaching others how to access information too, so I founded the SOHS Research Club. We begin each meeting by raising the hardest question we can think of, and I use the projector in the library to walk club members through my research process. Members have all gone on to share their knowledge with their friends and family. The SOHS Research Club has spread information literacy to my whole community(( Gesturing to the greater significance of the skill)) .
Looking ahead to all the ways my research skills will improve in college, I know that Iâll be ready to find an answer for anything.
Word Count: 350
Yes. We see that theyâre not only skilled at research but also that they want to support their community.
Yesâbut. The prompt asks about your greatest talent or skill . It also asks how you have developed and demonstrated that talent over time. The writer does answer these questions, but Iâd like to see more about when the SOHS Research Club took place as part of this development.
Yes. The essay is clear, organized, and to-the-point.
UC Prompt 4: Educational Opportunity or Barrier
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
Prompt 4 Example Essay
I jump at any chance to get my hands dirty. I am an aspiring ecologist. Iâm lucky enough to live in a college town, so I was elated last semester when a postdoctoral fellow invited me to join her research team(( Okay, looks like this writer is addressing the âhow you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunityâ part of the prompt.)) .
Although at first(( Good signposting and transitions. UC essays should be clear and straightforward. This writer easily walks us through the step-by-step of what happened.)) I was intimidated by the prospect of working alongside college students and faculty, I decided to embrace the opportunity to learn what being an ecologist is really like.
The project involved studying Asclepias syriaca populations in my local park. More commonly known as Milkweed, this flower species has a long and important history in North America, particularly for Indigenous people. After learning about its history as a food source, medicine, and critical part of ecological function, I couldnât wait to be part of the research.
As a research assistant, I helped with data collection. We began by using twine to section off population groups in the park. Then, every week I returned to the populations to collect information about population growth. I counted the number of flowers in the population, and, with a clear ruler, I measured and recorded the height of every individual flower.
The work was tedious. On my hands and knees, I squinted at the millimeter markings, trying to obtain the most accurate measurements possible. Each week, Iâd return home with muddy jeans and a smile on my face.
Participating in this research project taught me that being an ecologist is about much more than looking at plants(( Going beyond the research to reflect on lessons learnedânice!)) . Itâs also about learning from mentors and engaging with and having respect for the historical context of the plants we study. Being a scientist is also not as glamorous as movies like Jurassic Park lead on. Instead, science requires careful planning, patience, and hard work.
But what I learned the most from this educational opportunity is that science doesnât exist in some nebulous place. It exists right here in front of me. I look forward to continuing to use science to serve my community.
Word count: 328
Yes. We see their intellectual curiosity and willingness to learn through their research journey.
Yes. We have another âorâ prompt! This time theyâve chosen to focus on an âeducational opportunity,â which is the research project. They certainly explain how they âtook advantageâ of it.
Yes. Thereâs no fluff, just a coherent narrative focused on actions the writer took.
UC Prompt 5: Challenge
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
Prompt 5 Example Essay
While most kids fear monsters, my greatest fear has always been tests. Since elementary school, Iâve dealt with incapacitating test anxiety. Iâd sit down for a spelling test and faint from anxiety(( Straight into answering the prompt)) . Math tests in middle school would make me run to the bathroom ill. By the time I reached high school, where the testing stakes became even higher, my test anxiety increased exponentially.
More than normal feelings of nervousness or anxiousness, it is a diagnosis I wrestle with daily. Test anxiety caused me to miss a number of tests that I had no option to re-take. Itâs caused me to receive abysmal scores on standardized and state tests, which has had repercussions in the classes Iâm allowed to take(( Strategically, this was a good prompt for this student to answer because it gives them a way to contextualize any poor grades they earned early in high school. It also gets at the âacademic achievementâ part of the prompt.)) . My test anxiety has been the greatest challenge of my life. In a school system so reliant on testing, it has completely affected my ability to achieve academically.
By the time I took the PSATs, I couldnât even move my hand to write my name. I knew something had to change. I reached out for help. My mom knew I had been struggling but didnât understand the extent of my illness. Together, we contacted my school counselor, who told us how to find a therapist.
With my doctors, I worked to mitigate the effects of my test anxiety on a medical and psychological level(( Action steps! This prompt requires you to talk about the specific steps you took to overcome the challenge. The writer does exactly that in this paragraph.)) . I began taking beta-blockers that helped slow my heart rate, thus tricking my body into being less anxious. Alongside that, I spent months working through the reasons my brain interpreted testing as such a threat. I learned to appreciate my intrinsic value instead of relying on external factors like test scores. And rather than viewing tests as chances to fail, I began to understand them as opportunities to showcase my growth.
Now, after two long years of effort, I can take any test with ease. Since learning how to manage my disorder, Iâve successfully taken my driverâs test, SATs and ACTs, and all seven of my AP exams. Iâm looking forward to all the tests Iâll take in college(( And we end on a very positive note that shows lots of growth)) .
Yesâwhich is difficult with this prompt. The writer doesnât get bogged down in the challenge of having test anxiety. Instead, they use this prompt as an opportunity to show a strength: resilience to overcome such a difficult problem.
Yes. And this prompt has multiple parts, too. It wants you to describe 1) a challenge, 2) the steps youâve taken to overcome the challenge, and 3) how the challenge affected your academic achievement. This writer does all three.
Yes. The writer doesnât provide any poetic descriptions or metaphors. They say what they mean.
UC Prompt 6: Academic Interest
6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
Prompt 6 Example Essay
Sitting in front of my baby cousin, I held my hands in front of my face. I quickly snapped them down and exclaimed, âPeek-a-boo!â Delighted, he erupted into laughter. From the perspective of my more developed brain, this game is quite boring. Itâs overly repetitive, and the outcomeâmy face revealâis basic and consistent. But to a brain that hasnât yet gone through the sensorimotor phase of development, the game is a downright hoot. What I perceive as boring is actually magic to a babyâs mind. Without the concept of object permanence, my cousin thinks that I disappear completely behind my hands. When my face returns, he marvels as I inexplicably materialize in front of him. Itâs no wonder he can play peek-a-boo for hours.
Since I took IB Psychology my sophomore year, I have been fascinated with child psychology(( It takes a paragraph before we get to the prompt (which is too long), but I like the nerdiness the writer shows in the intro)) . No matter when or where we are born, we all undergo similar stages of development that help us understand the world around us. Imagine Albert Einstein chewing on a rock or Genghis Khan taking his first steps. Researching child development unlocks something universal and equalizing about the human experience.
Because of my interest in child psychology, I decided to get more involved with my community. I began by volunteering in a psychology lab at my local university. While there, I get our child participants settled before sessions. Occasionally I get to help with data collection. I also landed a job as a teacherâs aide at a nearby Head Start, where I feed lunches, play, and read. In both of these activities, Iâve learned so much about how to interact with toddlers, to think like they think, and to help them grow into kind and happy children(( This paragraph shows exactly how theyâve furthered their interest.)) .
My school doesnât offer any additional psychology courses, so I took a community college class this summer. Iâm looking forward to taking more advanced psychology classes as a psychology major, and Iâm eager to bring the research skills Iâve been developing to one of the UCâs many child development labs. One day, I hope to use all these skills as a child therapist.
Word Count: 348
Yes. The student is very intellectually curious about child developmentâa perfect strength for this prompt.
Yes. The writer talks about an academic subject, child development, and describes how they advanced that interest through a research lab, classes, and a job at Head Start.
Yesâbut. Overall, the essay does a great job adhering to UC essay conventions. But the first paragraph almost doesnât. As it is, the writer stays focused on telling the story. However, it takes up quite a bit of space in the essay without really conveying much about the writerâs journey. If there were a metaphor or any poetic language in there, it would have been too far. Same goes for the snippet about Einstein and Genghis Khanâit adds personality but is close to overdoing it.
UC Prompt 7: School or Community
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
Prompt 7 Example Essay
Nourishing loved ones by cooking for them is one of my biggest passions. But my hobby has become more difficult since moving to a food desert. Food deserts are areas without easy access to grocery stores or healthy foods. These disparities are clear in the school cafeteria, with the majority of students eating processed school lunches or packaged foods brought from home. I decided to do something about it.
The idea came to me one day as I made my way from AP Biology to my cooking elective. We needed a school community garden(( The writer sets up the stakes in the introduction so we truly understand the situation here)) . If we couldnât access fresh foods in our neighborhood, then we would grow our own. We just needed a space to grow them and money to buy supplies.
I began by finding a spot to plant our garden. My friends and I walked around the entire school and decided that the courtyard would be the perfect place. After explaining my idea to the Assistant Principal, I got permission to proceed.
Next(( This paragraph is full of good action steps)) I raised money for the supplies. With $20 in seed money from my parents, which I promptly paid back, I drew and printed stickers to sell at lunch. The stickers were anthropomorphized vegetables. They cost $0.10 per sticker to make, and I sold them for $1.00 each. Soon enough, I had not only raised enough money to set up the garden, but I had rallied the whole school around my cause. Thirty of my classmates showed up, vegetable stickers on their water bottles, to help me plant the garden.
For the last year, weâve maintained a spread of seasonal vegetables in the garden. We bring a basket to the cooking elective teacher each week so students can practice cooking with fresh vegetables, and we hold a daily farm stand at lunch(( And we see that they are legitimately improving their community)) . At the stand, students can grab whatever fresh produce they want to add to their lunch.
My schoolâs garden nourishes my community, and I am nourished every day by the fact that my efforts have made a true difference to those around me.
Word Count: 341
Yes. The writer shows really great initiative and community understanding in their willingness to start a community garden from scratch.
Yes. With only one question, this prompt is pretty straightforward. And the writerâs answer is simple: to make their school community a better place, they made a community garden.
Yes. The writer goes into detail about every step they took to make the community garden come to life. I especially like how the writer goes beyond these details to emphasize how much the community garden impacted the school community.
UC Prompt 8: Additional Information
8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?
Prompt 8 Example Essay
When I posted a TikTok video of myself studying, I didnât expect anyone but my friends to see it. But within hours, my video had gone viralâ tens of thousands of people(( Thatâs a lot of people. This shows the magnitude and impact of the video.)) saw the carefully-crafted shots Iâd taken of my desk setup and homework timelapse. The comment section flooded. People appreciated the work Iâd put into curating the perfect desk. They thanked me for inspiring them to get started on their own homework. I was overwhelmed by the response.
At first I felt really shy. What if people from school saw it and made fun of me? I kept questioning myself so much that I completely froze. Finally, one comment caught my attention. It read, âIâve been having a hard semester and can barely get myself out of bed, let alone to do my homework. But this is so calming! Maybe Iâll try.â That comment made me realize that it didnât matter what people at my school thought. What mattered was that I loved making that video and it had made an actual difference in the lives of the people who saw it.
And thatâs when I decided to make my mark on #StudyTok(( This is a pretty unique topic that wouldnât have necessarily fit into the other prompt categories, which makes it a good candidate for prompt #8.)) . Since that first video, Iâve posted 318 others and accumulated over 35,000 followers(( More numbers to show impact)) . Iâve had more videos go viral and reach hundreds of thousands of people looking for work inspiration. Even the videos that some would see as âfailsâ still reach a couple hundred people. That may not be a big deal in the Internet world, but those same people would fill up my high schoolâs auditorium. My goal for every video is to make my viewers feel relaxed and able to take on whatever work they have to do. It helps me and my viewers complete our work.
These videos have made me more confident and organized, and I canât wait to continue them in college. When I get an extra assignment or have to stay up late to finish a paper, I become excited instead of frustrated because I know that the little StudyTok community Iâve created will be there right alongside me.(( This conclusion drives home the what âmakes you a strong candidate for admissions to the UCâ part of the prompt.))
Yes. They show creativity through their video production and leadership through their huge community impact.
Mostly. This prompt is a tricky one to answer because its components arenât as straightforward as the others. Through such a huge impact, the writer makes it implicitly clear why this story demonstrates that they are a good candidate for admissions to the UC, but the message could be more explicit.
Yes. The writer conveys the sequence of events in a clear and organized way, and they use good metrics to show the impact of their videos.
Key Takeaways
Did you catch our golden rules throughout? Yep. Thatâs what makes these essays stand out, and thatâs whatâll make your essays stand out, too.
And even though these essays come from different students, hopefully you also got a sense of how an admissions officer reads a portfolio of essays for a single student.
Remember: just like your other applications, your overall goal for your UC application is to create a cohesive application narrative that shows your core strengths.
Having read all these essays, youâre now well on your way to writing your own. Try jumping into the Essay Academy or our UC essay writing guide for help getting started.
Liked that? Try this next.
21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
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2023 Ultimate Guide: 20 UC Essay Examples
by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Mar 8, 2023 | UC Admissions , UC Personal Insight Essay Examples
Additional UC essay resources:
- Official UC Personal Insight Question prompts are here.
- Read our UC Essay / UC Personal Insight Essay Tips
Table of Contents
UC Personal Insight #1 Examples
UC Personal Insight #2 Examples
