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Essays on Personal Identity

The theme of Personal Identity is of paramount importance as it delves into the essence of what makes us unique individuals. It encompasses a wide array of factors including culture, language, gender, family dynamics, religion, and personal experiences that together shape our sense of self. Exploring personal identity helps in understanding the complex interplay between individual traits and societal influences, fostering a deeper comprehension of oneself and others.

Writing essays on Personal Identity is crucial for several reasons:

• It encourages self-reflection and introspection, allowing individuals to explore and articulate their understanding of their own identity.
• It promotes empathy and cultural awareness by examining how diverse backgrounds and experiences contribute to the mosaic of society.
• Essays on this topic can contribute to critical discussions about the role of external factors, such as social media and globalization, in shaping personal identity.
• They offer a platform for discussing pressing issues related to identity, such as gender identity and the impact of mental health, in a nuanced and informed manner.
• Writing about personal identity challenges writers to consider the dynamic and ever-evolving nature of identity in the modern world.

List of Popular Personal Identity Essay Topics

• Exploring the Impact of Culture on Personal Identity Formation
• Uncovering the Layers of Personal Identity
• The Role of Language in Shaping Individual Identity
• Personal Identity in the Digital Age: Social Media and Self-Perception
• Gender Identity: Navigating the Landscape of Self-Discovery
• The Impacts of Racism and Identity in James Baldwin's "Notes of a Native Son"
• The Influence of Family Dynamics on the Development of Personal Identity
• Religion and Spirituality: Their Contribution to Personal Identity
• The Interplay Between Personal Identity and Mental Health
• Personal Growth and Identity: The Journey Through Life Transitions

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How My Family Has Defined My Identity as a Person

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Understanding The Significance of Personal Identity

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Personal identity refers to the unique and enduring characteristics, traits, beliefs, values, and experiences that define an individual's sense of self. It encompasses the conscious awareness of one's own existence and the recognition of being distinct from others. Personal identity is shaped by a combination of genetic factors, social interactions, cultural influences, and personal choices.

The concept of personal identity, often explored in philosophy and psychology, has a complex and multifaceted origin. The origins can be traced back to ancient civilizations and philosophical traditions that pondered the nature of the self. One influential school of thought is found in ancient Greece, particularly in the works of philosophers like Plato and Aristotle. Plato proposed the idea of an immortal soul that persists through various incarnations, while Aristotle emphasized the importance of the mind and memory in shaping personal identity. In the realm of Eastern philosophy, Hinduism and Buddhism have also contributed to the understanding of personal identity. Hinduism embraces the concept of reincarnation, where individuals' identities persist across multiple lives. Buddhism challenges the notion of a fixed and enduring self, suggesting that personal identity is impermanent and constantly evolving. The concept of personal identity further developed during the Enlightenment era in the 17th and 18th centuries. Philosophers such as John Locke introduced the idea that personal identity is rooted in consciousness and memory. Locke argued that the continuity of memory and experiences over time determines one's sense of self.

Psychological Continuity: This theory, popularized by John Locke, emphasizes the importance of psychological attributes, such as memory, consciousness, and personality traits, in defining personal identity. According to this view, a person's identity is based on the continuity of their mental states and experiences over time. Biological Continuity: This theory emphasizes the role of biological factors in personal identity. It posits that an individual's identity is primarily determined by their physical characteristics and genetic makeup. Biological continuity theorists argue that bodily continuity is essential for personal identity. Narrative Identity: This theory, influenced by narrative psychology, asserts that personal identity is constructed through the stories we tell about ourselves. Our sense of self is shaped by the narratives we create to make sense of our experiences, relationships, and life events. Bundle Theory: This theory, advocated by David Hume, challenges the notion of a unified and continuous self. According to bundle theory, personal identity is a collection of interconnected mental and physical attributes, thoughts, sensations, and experiences. There is no underlying substance that remains constant over time. Social Identity: This theory emphasizes the role of social interactions, cultural contexts, and group affiliations in shaping personal identity. It suggests that identity is not solely an individual construct but is influenced by social norms, roles, and relationships.

Physical Appearance: Our physical characteristics, such as our body shape, facial features, and unique traits, play a significant role in our personal identity. They contribute to how we are recognized and perceived by others. Psychological Traits: Personal identity is intertwined with our psychological traits, including our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, values, and personality traits. These aspects shape our perspectives, behavior patterns, and the way we interact with the world. Memories and Experiences: The accumulation of memories and life experiences forms an integral part of personal identity. Our unique collection of past events, relationships, achievements, and challenges shape our individual narrative and shape who we are. Cultural and Social Identity: Our personal identity is influenced by the cultural and social contexts we are part of. Factors such as nationality, ethnicity, language, religion, and social roles contribute to our sense of belonging and shape our identity. Interests and Passions: Our hobbies, interests, and passions also contribute to our personal identity. The things we enjoy, the activities we pursue, and the skills we develop become integral parts of who we are and how we perceive ourselves. Relationships and Connections: The relationships we form with others, including family, friends, and communities, have a profound impact on our personal identity. Our interactions and connections shape our sense of belonging, social roles, and the way we relate to others. Future Goals and Aspirations: Personal identity is not solely based on the past and present but also encompasses our future aspirations and goals. Our ambitions, dreams, and the vision we have for our lives contribute to our sense of identity and drive our actions.

1. According to a study published in the journal Science, researchers found that our sense of personal identity can be influenced by external factors, such as the opinions of others. The study showed that people were more likely to conform to a group's judgment, even if it conflicted with their own initial perceptions. 2. Research suggests that personal identity can be shaped by cultural norms and social expectations. For example, studies have shown that collectivist cultures, which prioritize the needs and goals of the group over individual desires, tend to have a stronger emphasis on social identity and conformity. 3. Personal identity can be influenced by language. Linguistic relativity theory suggests that the language we speak affects our perception and understanding of the world, including our sense of self. Different languages may have unique ways of expressing personal identity, which can shape how individuals perceive themselves. 4. Neuroscientists have discovered that the brain's neural networks play a crucial role in forming and maintaining personal identity. The connections between different regions of the brain contribute to our cognitive processes, emotions, and memories, all of which shape our sense of self. 5. Identity crisis is a phenomenon where individuals experience uncertainty or confusion about their personal identity. It is often associated with major life transitions or events, such as adolescence, career changes, or cultural shifts. Identity crisis can lead to self-reflection and a reevaluation of one's values, goals, and beliefs. 6. Personal identity can evolve and change over time. This concept, known as identity fluidity, suggests that individuals may experience shifts in their self-perception due to personal growth, new experiences, or changing social and cultural contexts.

The topic of personal identity holds immense significance as it explores fundamental questions about the nature of human existence and individuality. Understanding personal identity helps us unravel the complexities of human cognition, emotions, and behavior, enabling us to gain insights into ourselves and others. Exploring personal identity in an essay provides an opportunity to delve into the intricacies of self-perception, the formation of identity, and the factors that shape our sense of self. It allows for a critical examination of how personal identity is influenced by cultural, social, and psychological factors, offering a deeper understanding of human diversity and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Additionally, studying personal identity facilitates introspection and self-reflection, encouraging individuals to explore their own beliefs, values, and aspirations. It prompts us to question the stability and continuity of our identities, opening up avenues for personal growth and self-actualization. Furthermore, personal identity has implications in various fields, including psychology, philosophy, sociology, and neuroscience. By exploring this topic, we can draw interdisciplinary connections and foster a holistic understanding of human nature and the complexities of the human experience.

1. Shoemaker, D., & Tobia, K. (2019). Personal identity. (https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3198090) 2. Olson, E. (2016). Personal identity. Science fiction and philosophy: From time travel to superintelligence, 69-90. (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781118922590.ch7) 3. Swinburne, R. G. (1973, January). Personal identity. In Proceedings of the Aristotelian Society (Vol. 74, pp. 231-247). Aristotelian Society, Wiley. (https://www.jstor.org/stable/4544858) 4. Glover, J. (1988). I: The philosophy and psychology of personal identity. (https://philpapers.org/rec/GLOITP) 5. Floridi, L. (2011). The informational nature of personal identity. Minds and machines, 21, 549-566. (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11023-011-9259-6) 6. Schechtman, M. (2005). Personal identity and the past. Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology, 12(1), 9-22. (https://muse.jhu.edu/pub/1/article/186014/summary) 7. Shoemaker, D. W. (2007). Personal identity and practical concerns. Mind, 116(462), 317-357. (https://academic.oup.com/mind/article-abstract/116/462/317/1083800) 8. Garrett, B. (2002). Personal identity and self-consciousness. Routledge. (https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9780203015667/personal-identity-self-consciousness-brian-garrett) 9. Luckmann, T., & Berger, P. (1964). Social mobility and personal identity. European Journal of Sociology/Archives Européennes de Sociologie, 5(2), 331-344. (https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/european-journal-of-sociology-archives-europeennes-de-sociologie/article/abs/social-mobility-and-personal-identity/3A597A028214E9C7F6BD6EA77CFBC881) 10. McLean, K. C., & Syed, M. (2015). Personal, master, and alternative narratives: An integrative framework for understanding identity development in context. Human Development, 58(6), 318-349. (https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/445817)

Relevant topics

• Social Justice
• Discourse Community
• Self Identity
• Effects of Social Media
• Sociological Imagination
• American Identity
• Gender Stereotypes

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65 Personal Identity Examples

Personal identity refers to a sense of self that a person develops over their life. Your personal identity is a mix of how you see yourself and how others perceive you.

Key examples of personal identity include your personality, achievements, gender, ethnicity, nationality , social status, social class, beliefs, values, and culture. Combined, these features (along with others – see below) make us all unique individuals.

Personal Identity Examples

• Ability and Disability
• Achieved Status
• Ascribed Status (Born Status Features)
• Aspirations
• Awards and Recognition from Society (See Also: Achieved Status)
• Birth Order
• Career and Profession
• Citizenship Status
• Childhood Experiences
• Cultural Practices
• Cultural Values
• Current Occupation
• Educational Level
• Emotional Intelligence
• Family Role
• Family Traditions
• Friend Groups
• Geographical Identification (Rural, Ocean, City, etc.)
• Group Memberships
• Health Status
• Hopes and Dreams
• Immigrant Status
• Indigenous Status
• Intelligence
• Languages Spoken
• Nationality
• Optimism (or Pesimism)
• Parental Status
• Past Occupations
• Personal Achievements
• Personal Preferences
• Personality
• Philosopical Beliefs
• Physical Characteristics (Appearance)
• Professional Achievements
• Relationship Status
• Sociability (e.g Introvert vs Extravert)
• Social Class
• Social Expectations
• Social Roles
• Social Status
• Spirituality
• Sporting Skills and Interests
• Subcultural Idenficiation
• Personal Values

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Real Life Personal Identity Analysis: Queen Elizabeth II

As the longest-serving ruler of England, Queen Elizabeth II will be a character remembered through the history books for many hundreds of years.

There are some interesting aspects of the Queen’s personal identity that make her a good case study. No one is quite like her.

She has some features that overlap with many other people. But she has some that are remarkably unique.

Let’s start with the more common identity features of the Queen

Personal Identity of the Queen

The Queen was assigned female at birth and accepted this as her gender identity throughout her life.

Her gender affected her life profoundly. For one thing, she would only have been able to become the Queen because she did not have any brothers who, at the time, would have overriden her claim to the throne because they were male.

In smaller ways, her gender affected her personal identity. For example, the way she would dress was normal only for women and not men (she wore many famous flowing dresses, for example).

2. Race/Ethnicity

The Queen is of a white Western European ethnicity. She has Germanic, English, Scottish, Hungarian, French, and Irish blood.

Clearly, the Queen was of privileged social status. Her family’s race would, in history, have been a prerequisite for them ruling England. Today, the white European British ethnicity remains an ethnicity of privilege in Europe.

3. Social Class

The Queen was at the very tip of the social class hierarchy. Born into wealth and high social status, she was seen as being of the upper class.

This influenced her personal identity from a very young age. The Queen’s posh accent, for example, developed from her cultural surroundings. Similarly, she never experienced financial hardship or the need to go out and seek a trade (although, interestingly, she did serve as a mechanic during the 1940s).

4. Marital Status

The Queen was married to Prince Phillip. Her marital status would likely have been central to her sense of self.

The Queen would not only have seen herself as a wife, but also a mother. Like most married parents, these two identity features were probably at the core of her sense of self.

Most people’s status as a husband, wife, or parent, can affect how they think (always keeping their loved ones in their thoughts when they make decisions) and act (for example, many people insist they can’t quit their job because they have family who rely on them!).

5. Ascribed Status

Ascribed status refers to a social status that you were given at your time of birth. Of course, for Queen Elizabeth, she was ascribed her royal status by birthright.

In fact, the queen almost had to become the queen. She could have abdicated her right, like her uncle did, but this is highly frowned upon in Royal circles. Her uncle left Britain and moved to the United States to get away from his ascribed status!

6. Achieved Status

Achieved status refers to your personal accomplishments in life.

For the Queen, this includes being the longest ruling British monarch in history. She wasn’t born with this status, she achieved it through her life.

Similarly, the Queen might claim her ability to unite England, Wales, and Scotland under her for over 70 years as an accomplishment of sorts.

Normal people would often identify things like a university degree or their profession as their personal accomplishments.

7. Family Role

The Queen also has a very interesting family role which underpins her personal identity.

In Western Europe, women did not traditionally take the family role of decision maker and authority figure. But the Queen’s unique status as Queen meant that she became the matriarch of her family.

Famously, all family decisions had to be passed through her, and she even had the authority to decide which family members could (and couldn’t) use the royal title and get money from her personal trust fund.

Definition of Personal Identity

A personal identity is the collection of unique identifying factors that a person develops over time that make up who they are.

Your personal identity is unique to you because no one has the exact same mix of features , memories, habits, emotional dispositions, and knowledge that you have.

Personal identity is similar to social identity, but personal identities are about all of your unique features whereas your social identity usually only counts your sociological categorizations ( social identity examples include: gender, race, social class).

How we Develop a Personal Identity

Your personal identity begins to be formed even before you were born.

Everyone is born with a history: who their parents are, genetic factors, and socially ascribed status features that are assigned at birth (e.g. gender).

As we enter middle childhood , our sense of self emerges in ernest. We start learning about our personal tastes, preferences, and hobbies.

As children, we also get feedback from our surroundings (other children’s reactions to us, our parents disciplining us) which shape who we are as well. Some children meet these identity challenges and develop self-confidence and independence, while others may be scarred by their early rebukes and setbacks.

Into adolescence , we start to develop aspects of our identities like mindsets, ideologies, philosophies, and romantic relationships that will underpin our futures. Adolescents often explore different subcultural and countercultural identities to ‘try on’ ways of behaving.

The identity features that resonate with any individual may become a lifelong identity feature (e.g. ‘a lover of rap music’ or ‘a long-distance runner’).

In adulthood , our personal identities come to revolve around career and family status. We become concerned with creating a legacy and making a sustainable and happy life for ourselves and our loved ones.

Why is Personal Identity Important?

Developing a sense of who we are is essential for developing self-efficacy, morality, and happiness.

Self-efficacy refers to belief in yourself. People who grow up to be competent, optimistic, and self-reliant have high self-efficacy. These people can navigate challenges and obstacles they face in everyday life. It sets them up well for success, builds resilience,  and prevents burnout or social withdrawal.

Our morality refers to our sense of right and wrong. When you know who you are and what your personal standards are, then you’re able to set boundaries about what you will and will not do. Morality comes in part from our family and culture, but it’s also developed through our own thought processes as we move through adolescence and adulthood.

Happiness will often come from having a clear sense of who we are, what we want out of life, and whether we have achieved it. People who don’t know who they are and don’t have purpose in life will often be unhappy. This is because they don’t have a clear moral core. By contrast, people with a clear sense of their own personal identity will often be able to find happiness by taking up pursuits that fulfil their sense of purpose.

There are countless factors that influence our personal identity. Above, I’ve outlined some of the most important elements that people might point to when trying to define what’s unique about themselves.

Developing a personal identity can make you confident and self-assured. When you know who you are and are comfortable with that, you can begin to develop happiness and contentment.

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

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2 thoughts on “65 Personal Identity Examples”

I struggle to understand Identity and how to change that what your not happy with. How do you actually change identity, obvs we can’t change race, gender, etc., but if you wanted to change beliefs, how you see yourself etc? how do you change it without an experience? I say that because some experiences changes our way of thinking, but how to change without an experience ?

It’s hard. I would probably start with reading books and listening to podcasts about mindset, exploring new hobbies, going out of your comfort zone – in other words, manufacturing the experiences that are required to create those identity changes.

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93 Personal Identity Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

🏆 best personal identity topic ideas & essay examples, ⭐ interesting topics to write about personal identity, ✅ simple & easy personal identity essay titles, ❓ research questions about identity.

• How Does Culture Affect the Self Identity Personal Essay The economic background, family relations and ethnic distinctions have contributed significantly to the personality trait of being a low profile person who is considerate of others.
• Personal Identity Under the Influence of Community In other words, how individuals are raised in society is essential in facilitating the ability to predict the conduct and even future roles within the group. The community values that are embraced and respected are […] We will write a custom essay specifically for you by our professional experts 808 writers online Learn More
• Music Role in Personal and Social Identities Therefore, the purpose of this paper is to answer the question ‘How does music contribute to personal and social identities?’ In answering this question, the paper will develop a comprehensive analysis of a number of […]
• Bernard Williams The Self and the Future and Psychological Continuity Theory of Personal Identity The researches and ideas of Bernard Williams are focused on the necessity of personal awareness about the experiment; “they [Person A and Person B] may even have been impressed by philosophical arguments to the effect […]
• Exploring a Personal Identity: What Defines Me as an Individual However, due to openness to new ideas and the ability to retain my cultural values, I have managed to shape my personal identity in a unique way that included both the core values of my […]
• Personal Identity & Self-Reflection In the reflection, Ivan examined his past life and the values that he had lived by in all of his life.
• Music and the Construction of Personal and Social Identities Despite the relative difference between the current and the past music experience, it is clear that music has increasingly been used in the construction of the youths’ identities.
• Respect and Self-Respect: Impact on Interpersonal Relationships and Personal Identity It is fundamental to human nature to want to be heard and listened to.indicates that when you listen to what other people say, you show them respect at the basic level.
• Recognizing Homosexuality as a Personal Identity According to Freud, all human beings are inherently bisexual, and homosexuality results from a malfunction in the process of sexual development.
• Personal Identity and Teletransportation Moreover, according to his views, one soul can live in several bodies in different lives, which resembles the concept of reincarnation, but at the same time, a person is not the same.
• Personal Identity Description The topic of personal identity has been presenting a matter of interest for numerous philosophers throughout the whole history of humanity.
• Leisure and Consumption: Cell Phones and Personal Identity Foley, Holzman, and Wearing aim to confirm the improvement of the quality of human experiences in public spaces through the application of cell phones.
• Personal Troubles: Deviance and Identity It is therefore a violation of social norms and failure to conform to these norms that are entrenched in the culture of the society.
• The Trouble Distinguishing Personal Identity From Perception of Reality The play of Arthur Miller Death of a Salesman is a brilliant example of how perception of reality influences personal identity.
• Sexuality and Personal Identity Deployment by Foucault Thesis Statement: Foucault suggests that the “deployment” of sexuality is closely connected with the deployment of integrity, which is the main principle of the social and political welfare of the state.
• Cultural and Personal Identity: Mothers and Shadows Memory knots, as the term, have been employed to refer to sites of humanity, sites in time, and sites of physical matter or geography.
• Importance of Personal Identity The first stated that the continuity of personality is reliant on the sameness of the body, while the opposing view proclaimed that only the sameness of the soul could signify the sameness of a person.
• Personal Identity Change and Identification Acts It appears that, instead of being referred to as the agent of ‘identity change’, the act of ‘identification’ should be discussed as one among many strategies, deployed by people on the way of trying to […]
• Personal Information Use and Identity Theft The study provided a national scale analysis of identity theft patterns in the United States between 2002 and 2006. The form of government documentation and benefits of fraud have contributed to the increase in identity […]
• Influence of the Fashion Attributes on the Social Status and Personal Identity In the end, the primary goal of the paper is to propose the suitable methodology and analysis of the information to find the relevant answer to the research question.
• A.A. Bronson’s Through the Looking Glass: His Personal Identity as a Canadian Artist Thus, his work Through the Looking Glass is the one of the best works that reflect the author’s vision of reality and the one that reflects the author’s sense of Canadian identity.
• Locke and Hume’s Discussions of the Idea of Personal Identity He argues that, the identity of a soul alone in an embryo of man is one and same that is the identity of it in a fully grown up man.
• Ship of Theseus and Personal Identity Regarding the Ship of Theseus, the ship changed a lot but it remained the same in terms of its properties. Equally, Y could be said to be the same as Z in terms of properties.
• Human Freedom and Personal Identity In demonstrating a working knowledge of psychoanalysis theory of consciousness and personal identity it is clear that being conscious of my personal endowments, gifts and talents, in addition to the vast know how and skill […]
• Psychological Foundations Behind Personal Identity
• Behind the Scenes: The Effects of Acting on Personal Identity
• Psychology: Personal Identity and Self Awareness
• The Personal Identity and the Psychology for the Child Development
• Defining Yourself and Personal Identity in Philosophy
• Personal Identity Challenges and Survival
• Cultural Diversity, Racial Intolerance, and Personal Identity
• Identification Process: Personal Contiguity and Personal Identity
• Personal Identity and Career Management
• Habits: Bridging the Gap Between Personhood and Personal Identity
• Personal Identity and Psychological Continuity
• Gender Roles and Personal Identity
• Personal Identity and Social Identity: What’s the Difference
• Three Theories of Personal Identity: The Body Theory, Soul Theory, and the Conscious Theory
• Personal Identity and the Definition of One’s Self
• Creative Industries and Personal Identity
• Psychological Continuity Theory of Personal Identity
• Generation Gap: Family Stories and Personal Identity
• How Antidepressants Affect Selfhood, Teenage Sexuality, and Personal Identity
• Personal Identity, Ethics, Relation, and Rationality
• Philosophical Views for Personal Identity, Inventory, and Reflection
• The Role and Importance of Personal Identity in Philosophy
• Personal Identity and Its Effect on Pre-procedural Anxiety
• Self-Discovery, Social Identity, and Personal Identity
• Psychological Continuity: Personal, Ethnic and Cultural Identity
• Person and Immortality: Personal Identity and Afterlife
• Cultural Norms, Language, and Personal Identity
• Socialization, Personal Identity, Gender Identity, and Terrorism
• Personal Identity: Bundle and Ego Theory
• Society and the Importance of a Unique Personal Identity
• Political Issues Through Personal Identity
• Conflict Between Personal Identity and Public Image
• Difference Between Personal Identity and Online Identity
• Noninvasive Brain Stimulation and Personal Identity: Ethical Consideration
• Personal Identity and Psychological Reductionism
• Bodily, Psychological and Personal Identity
• Memory Role in Personal Identity
• Unique and Different Types of Personal Identity
• Capabilities and Personal Identity: Using Sen to Explain Personal Identity in Folbre’s ‘Structures of Constraint’ Analysis
• Genetic Memory and Personal Identity
• Does Group Identity Prevent Inefficient Investment in Outside Options?
• Does Student Exchange Program Involve a Nations Identity?
• How America Hinders the Cultural Identity of Their Own Citizens?
• Are Education Issues Identity Issues?
• Are Persons With Dissociative Identity Disorder Responsible for Bad?
• How Do Advertisers Shape the Identity, Values, and Beliefs of Any Culture?
• What Factors Affect the Development of Ego Identity?
• Can Social Identity Theory Address the Ethnocentric Tendencies of Consumers?
• How Are Adolescents Responsible for Their Own Identity?
• Did the Mongols Create a More Diverse Islamic Identity?
• Why Corporate and White Collar Crimes Rarely Dealt in Criminal Courts Culture and Identity?
• What’s the Relationship Between Communication and Identity?
• Does Globalization Affect Our Culture Identity?
• What Does Ethnicity Affect a Person’s Identity?
• Does Trauma Shape Identity?
• What Does Identity Tell Us About Someone?
• How Beauty Standards Have Shaped Women’s Identity?
• How Has Bisexuality Been an Ambiguous Sexual Identity?
• What Does Identity Mean?
• How and Why Does Ethnic Identity Affect the Idea of ‘Beauty’ Cross-Culturally?
• Can Consumption and Branding Be Considered a Part of a Person’s Identity?
• What Has Caused Britain to Lose Its Sense of Identity?
• How Antidepressants Affect Selfhood, Teenage Sexuality, and Our Quest for Personal Identity?
• Does Identity Affect Aspirations in Rural India?
• Do Identity Contingencies Affect More Than Just One Race?
• Does Identity Incompatibility Lead to Disidentification?
• Does Social Inequality Affect a Person’s Identity?
• Why Is Identity Important in Education?
• Can People Choose Their Identity?
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 9, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, essays about personal identity.

Hi all! I'm thinking about writing an essay that focuses on my personal identity. What are some ways to make this type of essay engaging and interesting to colleges? Any examples I should check out for inspiration? Thanks in advance!

Hello! Writing an essay that focuses on your personal identity can be a powerful way to showcase your unique experiences, interests, and perspectives. To make this type of essay engaging and interesting to colleges, consider the following tips:

1. Be authentic and vulnerable: Share your true feelings, thoughts, and struggles as they pertain to your identity. By being open about your experiences, you create a deep connection with the reader.

2. Focus on a specific aspect: Instead of trying to cover every detail of your identity, choose one or two key facets that define you. Delving into particular experiences and emotions will allow you to demonstrate depth and create a more compelling narrative.

3. Use descriptive language and vivid imagery: Paint a picture for the reader by using descriptive words and vivid imagery. This will help them visualize and connect with your story on a deeper level.

4. Show rather than tell: Instead of simply stating your thoughts and feelings about your identity, use anecdotes and examples to illustrate your point. By showing the reader your experiences, you'll create a more compelling and engaging essay.

5. Incorporate growth and development: Demonstrate how your understanding of your identity has evolved over time, and how it has shaped you as a person. This could include personal challenges you've faced, accomplishments, or newfound insights.

6. Reflect on the impact: Discuss how your identity has influenced your decisions, interests, and relationships. This reflection will help demonstrate the importance of your identity and its role in your life.

For examples and inspiration, you can browse through essays shared by students who were admitted to top colleges. Just be mindful not to copy their ideas or writing styles. Instead, use these examples to inspire your own unique angle in exploring your personal identity.

Best of luck with your essay and application process!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Best Psychology Essay Examples

Personal identity essay.

667 words | 3 page(s)

Finding one’s identity is a never ending journey that only stops when one dies. As so, every day of my life, I have made it my quest to realize every part of me that I possibly can. I do so with the same conviction that Gabriel Garcia Marquez had when he wrote ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’, “that I may allow myself to be persuaded my own faith that human beings are not born once and for all the day their mothers gave birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves”. And so this is a documentation, a journal of sorts, of all my identities.

Ethnic Identity I am a rich blend of different ethnic origins culminating in a rare multiple cultural identity. My dad is of Cuban, Spanish and Yuki Indian origins, while my mom is Czech. This rich blend of different origins so different in culture and beliefs enables me to assume a globally diverse culture where all these four different cultures mash up to form one unique ethnic identity that allows me to almost assimilate into any culture while maintain the beliefs and cultural diversity that is present in my parents and childhood.

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Gender Identity Gender is the one of the definitive identities that shape one’s life, from career choices to lifestyle and character. Gender defines an individual through and through. My being female, gives me the identity of one who cares, feels and expresses emotion on a much higher level.

Zodiac Identity Zodiac signs are believed and have been proven to define one’s identity in the form of characteristics and behaviour. I believe the fact that I am of the Libra zodiac sign, I can find out and understand more of my behaviour, character and possibly weaknesses and flaws that are underlying. It is said that Libra is one of the most sociable signs in the zodiac. Librans find balance from colours content and the elements, making them handle all situations with grace, putting others at ease. As a result, Librans tend to be drawn toward creative undertakings.

National Identity Each nation in the world embodies a given national spirit that drives and identifies its citizens, setting them apart from other nationalities. My national identity is American. The American nation embodies freedom, the sheer will to succeed and develop a wealthy life full of abundance and joy. This is the American spirit, thus the term “The American Dream”.

Regional Identity Every region in every nation or country is characterized with its own identity that is synonymous with its people. As a Californian, my identity entails roots from the cultures of Mexico, Spain and the eastern United states. The Californian culture assimilates languages, traditions and foods from all over the world. It has a unique English dialect that incorporates words from different languages. Its unique cuisines make California particularly unique and stand out.

Personal Identity Ultimately, personal identity form the core of one’s true identity. In order to discover who I am, I need to discover what makes me who I am, my character and behaviour that defines me. I have a conservative sense of fashion and I am an animal lover. I can define myself as a mainly phlegmatic as I am nurturing, sympathetic and emotionally expressive. This explains my need and drive to take care of stray animals, even taking a class to learn how to care for them in a better way.

The journey to discover and uncover my true and complete identity goes on with each passing day. I aim to take on every task and challenge to know who I truly am till the day I can confidently answer the question “Who are you?”

• García, Márquez G. and Grossman Edith. Love in the Time of Cholera. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1988. Print.
• Samovar, Larry A, Richard E. Porter, Edwin R. McDaniel, and Carolyn S. Roy. Communication between Cultures. Boston: Cenage Learning, 2013. Print.

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Personal Identity Essay Examples

We have 10 free papers on personal identity for you, essay examples, essay topics, the bundle theory of personal identity.

Personal Identity

Personal Philosophy

At any given time, we are changing. Our cells are replaced periodically, and our ideas and perceptions of the world can be changed by experiences. Because of this it seems difficult to determine what makes an adult the same person they were as a child, as these two at such a different time, share very…

Social Media and Self Identity (1973 words)

Self Identity

Social Media

In this essay I will analyze and discuss the topic of social media use and personal identity. This topic is a point of interest across many disciplines including sociology, psychology, business, and even anthropology. Within this interdisciplinary research essay, I will specifically examine and juxtapose sociological research with an evaluation of big data. Furthemore, I…

Self Identity and the Lack Thereof

The problem of self-identity is one that every single human will face from the moment they are brought into this world. The lack of personal identity is one that can make or break a person, meaning if not found one might not feel as complete as they aim to be. This topic is covered in…

The Importance of Self-Identity

In the novel, “ The Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood, the story follows the collapse of the United States replaced with the totalitarian government named the Republic of Gilead, in its attempt to solve the major issues of mass infertility and environmental disaster. The changes of this new government challenge one’s concept of Identity to…

Personal Identity and Afterlife Essay

Personal Identity and the Afterlife Identity defines the fundamental nature of everything, whether that thing is an objective physical entity or a subjective idea that has to be mentally constructed. To understand the nature of these abstract ideas, we must first understand the concept of identity. When speaking of identity, one of the first types…

Personal Identity Essay (527 words)

Personal Identity Essay can be broken down into three areas: 1. ) Body 2. ) Memoryand 3. ) Soul. In John Perry’s “A Dialogue on Personal Identity andImmortality” these composing aspects of personal identity are discussed atlength. In the reading and class discussions the body was defined clearly as apart of one’s person, even alluded…

Personal Identity: Philosophical Views Essay

Tim V Kolton Alan Watts once said, “Trying to define yourself is like trying to biteyour own teeth. ” The task of personal identity is to define a quality of ahuman which makes him or her a unique self. The person whose identity is inquestion must realize themselves, and other people must identify this person….

Quest For Personal Identity In Toni Morrisons The Essay

Bluest Eye Post World War I, many new opportunities were given to the growing and expanding group of African Americans living in the North. Almost 500,00 African Americans moved to the northern states between 1910 and 1920. This was the beginning of a continuing migration northward. More than 1,500,000 blacks went north in the 1930’s…

The struggle for personal identity Essay

The Struggle for Personal IdentityThe topic I have chosen for my research essay is that of Personal Identity. We have come across this topic in many stories that we have done in the course. Different authors have handled this theme in a different way and by taking a look at this we will be able…

Personal Identity Persuasive Essay

Persuasive Essay

Personal Identity8th March, 1997Dear DiaryToday in class we had a brief discussion of what personal identity is. Ididn’t get a chance to speak out my thoughts and opinions so I felt like toshare it with you. Personal identity is what I see myself as, positively or negatively. It could be argued but most people think…

Check a number of top-notch topics on Personal Identity written by our professionals

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The Story of The Ship of Theseus: The Question of Identity

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The Identity Crisis in James Baldwin’s Nonfiction and in Giovanni’s Room (1956)

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Identity: How Past Experiences Shape Identity  

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Frequently Asked Questions

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• Self-Awareness. A person must have self-awareness and self-knowledge to have a fully formed identity. ...
• Self-Esteem. Each individual needs to feel good about her contributions to the world. ...
• Beliefs and Values. What a person believes forms an identity. ...
• Personal Fulfillment. Each individual has goals she wants to accomplish in her lifetime. ...

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Cultural Identity Essay

27 August, 2020

12 minutes read

Author:  Elizabeth Brown

No matter where you study, composing essays of any type and complexity is a critical component in any studying program. Most likely, you have already been assigned the task to write a cultural identity essay, which is an essay that has to do a lot with your personality and cultural background. In essence, writing a cultural identity essay is fundamental for providing the reader with an understanding of who you are and which outlook you have. This may include the topics of religion, traditions, ethnicity, race, and so on. So, what shall you do to compose a winning cultural identity essay?

Cultural Identity Paper: Definitions, Goals & Topics 

Before starting off with a cultural identity essay, it is fundamental to uncover what is particular about this type of paper. First and foremost, it will be rather logical to begin with giving a general and straightforward definition of a cultural identity essay. In essence, cultural identity essay implies outlining the role of the culture in defining your outlook, shaping your personality, points of view regarding a multitude of matters, and forming your qualities and beliefs. Given a simpler definition, a cultural identity essay requires you to write about how culture has influenced your personality and yourself in general. So in this kind of essay you as a narrator need to give an understanding of who you are, which strengths you have, and what your solid life position is.

Yet, the goal of a cultural identity essay is not strictly limited to describing who you are and merely outlining your biography. Instead, this type of essay pursues specific objectives, achieving which is a perfect indicator of how high-quality your essay is. Initially, the primary goal implies outlining your cultural focus and why it makes you peculiar. For instance, if you are a french adolescent living in Canada, you may describe what is so special about it: traditions of the community, beliefs, opinions, approaches. Basically, you may talk about the principles of the society as well as its beliefs that made you become the person you are today.

So far, cultural identity is a rather broad topic, so you will likely have a multitude of fascinating ideas for your paper. For instance, some of the most attention-grabbing topics for a personal cultural identity essay are:

• Memorable traditions of your community
• A cultural event that has influenced your personality 
• Influential people in your community
• Locations and places that tell a lot about your culture and identity

Cultural Identity Essay Structure

As you might have already guessed, composing an essay on cultural identity might turn out to be fascinating but somewhat challenging. Even though the spectrum of topics is rather broad, the question of how to create the most appropriate and appealing structure remains open.

Like any other kind of an academic essay, a cultural identity essay must compose of three parts: introduction, body, and concluding remarks. Let’s take a more detailed look at each of the components:

Introduction 

Starting to write an essay is most likely one of the most time-consuming and mind-challenging procedures. Therefore, you can postpone writing your introduction and approach it right after you finish body paragraphs. Nevertheless, you should think of a suitable topic as well as come up with an explicit thesis. At the beginning of the introduction section, give some hints regarding the matter you are going to discuss. You have to mention your thesis statement after you have briefly guided the reader through the topic. You can also think of indicating some vital information about yourself, which is, of course, relevant to the topic you selected.

Your main body should reveal your ideas and arguments. Most likely, it will consist of 3-5 paragraphs that are more or less equal in size. What you have to keep in mind to compose a sound ‘my cultural identity essay’ is the argumentation. In particular, always remember to reveal an argument and back it up with evidence in each body paragraph. And, of course, try to stick to the topic and make sure that you answer the overall question that you stated in your topic. Besides, always keep your thesis statement in mind: make sure that none of its components is left without your attention and argumentation.

Conclusion 

Finally, after you are all finished with body paragraphs and introduction, briefly summarize all the points in your final remarks section. Paraphrase what you have already revealed in the main body, and make sure you logically lead the reader to the overall argument. Indicate your cultural identity once again and draw a bottom line regarding how your culture has influenced your personality.

Best Tips For Writing Cultural Identity Essay

Writing a ‘cultural identity essay about myself’ might be somewhat challenging at first. However, you will no longer struggle if you take a couple of plain tips into consideration. Following the tips below will give you some sound and reasonable cultural identity essay ideas as well as make the writing process much more pleasant:

• Start off by creating an outline. The reason why most students struggle with creating a cultural identity essay lies behind a weak structure. The best way to organize your ideas and let them flow logically is to come up with a helpful outline. Having a reference to build on is incredibly useful, and it allows your essay to look polished.
• Remember to write about yourself. The task of a cultural identity essay implies not focusing on your culture per se, but to talk about how it shaped your personality. So, switch your focus to describing who you are and what your attitudes and positions are. 
• Think of the most fundamental cultural aspects. Needless to say, you first need to come up with a couple of ideas to be based upon in your paper. So, brainstorm all the possible ideas and try to decide which of them deserve the most attention. In essence, try to determine which of the aspects affected your personality the most.
• Edit and proofread before submitting your paper. Of course, the content and the coherence of your essay’s structure play a crucial role. But the grammatical correctness matters a lot too. Even if you are a native speaker, you may still make accidental errors in the text. To avoid the situation when unintentional mistakes spoil the impression from your essay, always double check your cultural identity essay. 

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My Personal Identity

Several elements influence the formation of one’s identity, such as their family, culture, friends, personal interests, and the environments they encounter.

Different factors can have different levels of influence on individuals, with some being more important than others or having no effect at all. The upbringing in a family environment exposes an individual to various influences, including those from their family and culture, which shape their perception of responsibilities, ethics, morals, as well as their preferences for music, humor, sports, and other aspects of life. Additionally, friends and the surrounding environment also contribute to shaping a person’s choices in clothing, music, speech, and social activities.

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Individuals are defined and made unique by their personal interests, which cannot be controlled or manipulated by others. They have the freedom to choose their own paths and strive towards fulfilling their individual goals. This ability to make independent decisions sets individuals apart from those who mindlessly copy others.

A person’s identity is formed by a combination of external factors, personal choices, and distinct characteristics. In my own experience, my identity has been significantly influenced by my dreams, fantasies, friends, and idols. Although my family has also played a part in shaping who I am, the majority of my identity stems from my own ambitions. While they may impact the desired version of myself, I still have the ability to create opportunities that align with a somewhat comparable life.

Although I did not grow up in a family that was into off-road racing, which includes trucks, snowmobiles, and dirt bikes, I still aspire to incorporate these activities into my own life. Maybe someday, I can share them with my future family too. Society has not had a significant impact on my lifestyle because I dislike following trends. In particular, rap and hip-hop trends, along with their fashion styles, attitudes, and way of speaking are strongly disliked by me. Consequently, I have intentionally distanced myself from this specific group since I prefer to live an adrenaline-fueled existence.

What exhilarates me in life is participating in activities that get my blood flowing, heart racing, and adrenaline rushing. My love for excitement perfectly matches my distinct personality which includes a profound appreciation for intense, aggressive music as well as firearms. Nevertheless, my ultimate passion resides in extreme sports including dirt biking, BMX biking, snowmobiling, and snowboarding. Both the teachings of my parents and my personal convictions have shaped the formation of steadfast values and principles within me.

My personal beliefs mainly revolve around karma, encompassing qualities such as kindness, empathy, assisting others, honesty, and consideration. Additionally, I prioritize environmental preservation in natural settings and hold deep respect for nature. Furthermore, I value maintaining a clean and inviting home environment and believe that true success should be measured by happiness rather than material possessions. Lastly, close-knit family relationships are of great importance to me. Overall, I perceive myself as a well-rounded individual with a promising future. While many individuals share this viewpoint, there are some who see me as an eccentric person with self-destructive tendencies and predict my fate to be limited to a hospital or mortuary. Moreover, one’s educational experiences often shape their sense of identity.

I have had limited educational experiences that have influenced my identity. Elementary and high schools aim to mold individuals into conformity. Their objective is to streamline the teaching process for the faculty. Nonetheless, I have resisted conforming throughout my academic journey. I have remained true to myself and pursued my own desires and ambitions.

Despite causing trouble in grade school, my goal in college is to determine my future career. I need to find a fulfilling profession that pays well enough to support my expensive hobbies. Currently, I am studying construction management with the hope of realizing it is the ideal path for me.

Although I have a positive view of construction, my main concern is the building of new developments. This is because these projects often involve destroying untouched land, which is already scarce worldwide. This specific worry has made me interested in commercial construction, as it typically relies less on undeveloped land compared to residential construction. In terms of education, it hasn’t had a significant influence on shaping who I am so far. However, I anticipate that by the time I finish college, it will greatly impact and transform me.

I take pride in who I have become because I have pursued my dreams and admired both friends and idols. My family has had a significant impact on shaping my morals and values, while my friends have influenced various aspects of my life like social activities, speech patterns, and clothing choices. Additionally, I am constantly motivated by my aspirations and admiration for idols to work towards achieving greatness. Those who truly understand me often view me as one of the most extraordinary individuals they have ever encountered.

I will stay true to my individual qualities, while also taking into account the well-being of others and refraining from any harmful actions. Currently, I am fully satisfied with my identity and committed to sustaining my happiness throughout my life.

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Personal Identity

Updated 26 October 2022

Downloads 50

Category Philosophy ,  Sociology

Topic People ,  Personal Identity

Identity and Perception

Identity is a thinking that one develops about themselves which usually changes in the course of one's lifetime. It may additionally also involve specific elements of life that an individual may not have control over, such as the place where one grew up, some of the alternatives that an individual makes in life as well as one's complexion. In the direction of life, one may outwardly demonstrate aspects of their identification by the manner in which they interact with people as properly as what they wear. Moreover, there are some aspects of personal identity that can be stored within oneself no matter how essential they would possibly appear to be.

My uncle thinks that I'm lazy and unmotivated to succeed in my studies, although I'm very ambitious and determined to realize my dreams in life by scaling the heights of academia.

Uncle's Perception

Just as I have mentioned of how lowly my uncle thinks of me as a person who is lazy and lacks the motivation to succeed in my school, it did not just come as a result of one incident or personal differences that I may have with him. Over the years, my uncle has kept on taunting me as someone who cannot excel in my studies without even posing to find out how I perform in school. The first incident was when we had a family gathering that involved all members of the extended family. During the introduction, all the grandchildren were asked to mention full names of at least five of the relatives who were present at the gathering. When my time came, I only managed to say three. No sooner had I finished than my uncle exclaimed in front of everyone in the meeting that I'm a lazy kid and even seemed to lack the ability to succeed in my academic studies. Besides that, he again told his family that he thinks that my conduct shows that I'm someone who cannot even remember whatever I'm I learn in school going by what he heard my mother complain about me. He remarked that when he overheard my mother one day complain that I forgot to close the water taps before I left for school.

Personal Achievements

Nonetheless, my uncle's perception about me does not hold an ounce of truth. The performance records I have broken in school speak for themselves. Ever since I started schooling, I have never gone below the third position in my class. My parents are proud of me because of the excellent results I have been scoring ever since I joined first grade. Additionally, it's not only my parents who are impressed by the sound academic performance I have been attaining in school, but my teachers too have also had glowing remarks to make.

Hard Work and Diligence

Regarding the issue of laziness that my uncle thinks of me, I may say that he is mistaken or his perceptions of me might be influenced by personal vendetta or lack of information. Throughout my school life, my success is attributable to the hard work and diligence in class. Not once have I been awarded certificates of merits in recognition of the hard work I have displayed both in class work and co-curricular activities. Apart from representing my school in netball, I have also once been awarded the trophy for being the best player of the interschool tournament that was held last year in our school. That could not have been achieved without hard work. All those examples help to define how I see myself as a hard-working person who does not rest until he gets what he sets his eyes on.

In conclusion, I may say that personal identity, being life concepts that keep on evolving may not necessarily hold any truth if it comes from what other people perceive of you. My take on identity is the consistent elements or habits that one inadvertently displays about themselves without having to state or define them by himself. Although people are not often objective about the assessment of the personal identity of other people, their perceptions will always play a significant role in the definition of personal identity.

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Personal Identity

Home - Essay - Personal Identity

Category: Essay

Subcategory: Philosophy

Level: College

Student’s name Instructor’s name Philosophy Date Personal Identity Locke disagrees that the soul influences personal identity. The soul theory infers the difficulty in changing the soul and the near-death events that allow the person remain as the true self over time. The soul is immaterial according to the theory. Similarly, the body theory infers that the body remains attached to the same person over time until death. Changes to the soul or the body are assumed to be difficult, thus a huge contributor to the belief that the two influence personal identity. Locke objects the above findings, expressly using religious beliefs of the expected changes of the soul during incarnation and the use of technology to clone body parts, as clear objects to the theoretical principles of both the soul and body theory on personal identity. Locke’s objections offer in-depth scrutiny to the influences of personal identity. Locke’s objections are highly convincing since a plethora of criticisms of both theories has been demonstrated by different philosophers. A popular case about the Ship of Theseus repudiates non-changeability of the soul, offering a classic objection to the soul theory. Similarly, the existence of simulated events that may cause near-death experiences, especially the popular G-Force tests were undertaken fighter jets pilots, object on the principal references of the soul theory. Moreover, the memory theory adequately offers explanations on why consciousness i…

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