essay true love

Can One Really Define Love? Essay

What is love? It seems to be as baffling as the question “What is the meaning of life?” Liking and attraction seem to be of lesser degree when compared to love yet attraction is also closely associated with friendship. These are three concepts that mean lot of things to different people.

When it comes to love, one will encounter countless lines that attempt to define it. We all have heard that love is blind. Love is what makes the world go round. Love is all there is. Novels, poems, short stories and songs, all kinds of literature have immortalized love. Why? Plato said it right: At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. Since the beginning of time, love has been there to propel people who fall in it to do crazy – or at least extraordinary things. Those who stumble into it go into a trance, seeing everything or everyone who stands against it as a threat to their happiness.

The dictionary says that love is the passionate devotion to another being but its essence must not be entirely confined to its lexical meaning. The New Testament alone exemplifies three types of love. The romantic, sexual love or eros , the love of friendship or phileo , and the unconditional love of the Divine or agape . While the first two may come easily for most people, agape does not because it is the unconditional love that is usually ascribed to the Divine. (Boyer, 1999).

Some hold that love is nothing but a physical response to another whom the agent feels physically attracted to. Physical determinists for example, consider love to be an extension of the chemical-biological constituents of the human creature and is explicable according to such processes. Others who consider love to be an aesthetic response hold that love is knowable through the emotional and conscious feeling that it provokes and it cannot be captured in rational or descriptive language but by metaphor or by music. The spiritualist vision of love incorporates mystical as well as traditional romantic notions of love, but rejects the behaviorist or physical determinist’s explanations. (Moseley, 2001).

Love may be defined in any way imaginable to man and may differ from one person to another. Hence, although each of us has his own way of looking at love, it can’t nevertheless be denied that love is universal and everyone, anywhere can feel it.

Levels of physical attractiveness can influence people in so many powerful ways. A person’s characteristics based on an individual’s perception of physical attractiveness can either add to one’s status or stigmatize them. Males and females have different cognitive schemas about the attractiveness of the opposite sex. This is because one’s gender determines the how the person will view their own attractiveness and how that person will view another one’s physical attractiveness.

There are several theories that apply to physical attraction and one of this is the reinforcement theory. This means that when a person is paired with a stimulus that elicits a positive effect or reward, the result is increased liking of that person. One can begin to like a physically attractive person because he is pleasing to look at which is your own personal reward. Meanwhile, the attractive person also gets the benefits of being attractive because once a positive reward is associated with an individual; your liking of them will increase.

There are actually three factors that influence attraction. One of this is proximity. It seems that people tend to like those that are closer to them By this we mean, of greater proximity rather than those far from them. This is because if people are close to each other, they often see each other. Perhaps because they are able to nurture relationships with each other. It is difficult for people to cultivate relationships when they are far apart. (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).

One other factor is physical attractiveness. According to Robert B Cialdini, an influential psychologist, physical attractiveness is an important component in degree of influence. He stipulates that physically attractive people have a huge social advantage in our culture. They are better liked, more persuasive, more frequently helped, and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual capabilities (Cialdini 1984). This is what some experts call the halo effect. This happens when positive characteristics of a person, spell the way a person is viewed by others (Henricks, Chris, et. al, 1998). There is the notion that people who are above average in physical attractiveness is also above average in other aspects as well.

Sometimes this can be a disadvantage too. The physically attractive people may think that things are being done for them just because they look good rather than their innate attributes. (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).The third factor in attraction is similarity. People who are similar in tastes and likes tend to attract each other. When they find that they have a lot of commonalities, they tend to go together. It is like the saying that says, “birds of the same feather, flock together.”

People are interested in establishing relationships with others who are similar to themselves. In this connection, if the goal of attraction is partnership, and apart of this partnership is sharing life with someone else, then it is wise to choose a partner with similar background and interests. The person who is similar with another one in terms of interests, then, there would be less problems since there is a meeting of minds. They will want to do the same activities and share the same hobbies as you do. (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).

One way to get someone to like you is to like them. This action is called a reciprocity norm. This means that whatever is done to you should be done in return. The value of indebtedness comes into play here. When someone does something for us, often we feel indebted to that person, so the action is often reciprocated. Many great thinkers today find that whatever good feelings you give to others will return back to you. In the context of the reciprocity norm, it means that the way to get someone to like us is to like them first. What you give will come back to you a hundredfold.

Sternberg has a theory of love, which involves 3 dimensions: passion, intimacy, and commitment. He suggests that the combination of these dimensions can be used to classify different types of love or mutually good feelings. So, Sternberg is suggesting that not all loving relationships are created equal. I might suggest that true love – the love that creates a special and precious relationship between two people – is one that would have all 3 of Sternberg’s dimensions (Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations).

Love in its many forms is a way of bringing joy into our lives, and we all treasure the moments of love that we know and have known. Loving is a way of giving, both to the person receiving and the one giving. Through loving, a person becomes closer to himself as he shares himself to another one and opens the way for sharing. The meaning of love is limitless because love is relative from person to person. How one would see it would be different from how another would. Love teaches us in different ways. It remains a mystery, a puzzle that must be left to work out on its own – or better yet, just left to retain its mystique.

Works Cited

Boyer, Janet. “What Is Love?” 1999. Web.

Moseley, Alex. “Philosophy of Love”. From The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 2001. Web.

“Social Psychology, Interpersonal Relations,” 2008. Web.

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True love: more made than found. Rome, 1994. Photo by Steve McCurry/Magnum

What is love?

Forget the modern romantic notion of ‘the one’. true love means looking beyond the couple and out towards life.

by Mark Vernon   + BIO

It is a telling statistic that the ­most frequently ‘what is…?’ question typed into Google last year was: what is love? This fact probably reveals more about the society that asks an internet search engine such a thing, than any answer reveals about the nature of love. But if not Google, then where else can we look to understand love? The fantasy-making machines of Hollywood and Bollywood insist that there is only one answer worth indulging: the romantic kind. Most people, it would seem, agree, if only by default. They are dragged into seeking the person who will make them ‘whole’ via a dating website, or by a less tangible, though no less keenly felt urge cultivated by the same, dominant culture that insists we must find ‘the one’. Not that its origins are modern. Ever since the poet Sappho wrote, in the seventh century BCE, of love rippling under her skin like wind through trees, romantic love has been imagined as irresistible, a crucial experience that marks the peak of human existence.

Yet, the Google stats suggest that there is also a silent global search underway — many of us are clearly not satisfied with romance as an answer. The real problem, then, might be that contemporary culture leaves us unprepared for thinking about love in anything other than a one-dimensional mode. Just as marriage has seized the monopoly on public affirmations of love, so a notion of romance has restricted what we can imagine as a loving relationship.

The ancient Greeks, unlike us, did not have a single word for love but many. As is often noted, they had philia (friendship) and eros (desire), storge (affection) and agape (unconditional love). Perhaps that is another part of our problem. Our language invites us to think of love as a single, unified thing, when it is nothing of the sort. I suspect that words are not enough to address this modern deficiency. What we need is a new sense of the variety of love’s experiences. Fortunately there is another storehouse we can draw on from our ancient forebears: and it is not their words, but their myths that can enlighten us.

I n a sense, we are lumbered with the dominance of romantic love; it can’t simply be sidestepped in favour of friendship, for example. That would never work: the erotic is simply too powerful. But the ancient myths can help us realise why romance is such a successful sell, if short-lived. Perhaps the myth that best captures the allure of romance is Aristophanes’ idea about soulmates, from Plato’s Symposium The story goes that human beings originally had two heads, four arms and four legs. We were shaped like round balls and tumbled across the face of the Earth at great speed. The gods grew alarmed at this display of power. So Zeus hatched a plan. He would cut human beings in half, leaving each with just one head, two arms and two legs.

These mutilated halflings were a pathetic sight. In particular, they developed the habit of devoting considerable amounts of their now limited energy searching for their lost halves. The desire to find the missing other was irresistible. Individuals sustained the search in spite of repeated break-ups and romantic disasters in the indefatigable belief that the right person — ‘the one’ — was out there. The promise of love, they felt, was nothing less than wholeness.

The myth has had a long life, accurately describing to this day the inner experience of those who feel life is incomplete without such love. In fact, it wasn’t until the 18th century that Aristophanes’ way of thinking about love reached its logical conclusion, when Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote of how he fell in love as a young man. Only after that experience, he mused, could he be sure that he had genuinely lived. The upshot was that romantic love had become the goal in its own right. It matters not who you fall in love with, so long as you have fallen in love. The experiential ideal usurps the complex personal reality. That is why romance has us so much in its grip and empties us out in the process. It is the same with the dogmatic pursuit of happiness.

Crucially, however, Plato’s original myth about soulmates ends not with an elusive, illusory happiness, but with a twist. And here it might have something to teach us, suggesting an escape hatch out of the romantic stronghold. Zeus takes pity on the halved humans. He moves their genitals round so that when they meet they can embrace and find a little release for their passion. Sex is a temporary taste of unity, and it helps, though only to a degree. So when Hephaestus, the god of craftsmen, passes by and promises the couples a wish, these tragic figures speak with one voice. Weld us together, they cry: melt us one into the other!

For love to have a future, couples need to be able to move from falling in love to standing in love

Hephaestus obliges. The two become one. And the new situation reveals another way in which love gets stuck. Glued together, gazing only into each other’s eyes, the lovers lose touch with the rest of life. Not caring for anything else, death takes on an attractive hue, and they dream of sharing a last single breath together — a fantasy that lives on in the French euphemism, la petite mort , and in the romantic climax to Romeo and Juliet . But as the psychologist Erich Fromm put it in The Art of Loving (1956), for love to have a future, couples need to be able to move from falling in love to standing in love. Lovers must learn to embrace what lies outside their cosy twosome in order to survive. As Freud made explicit, dyadic love can be nurturing, but can equally be claustrophobic and alienating, and Aristophanes’ tale suggest it must be transcended.

The question is, how? How can the energy that romantic desire releases be directed outwards so that it feeds a passion not just for life together, but for life itself, led together. An answer is given by another ancient myth, one that is almost forgotten today. It concerns the infant god of love, familiar to us as Eros, but it also introduces us to another, less familiar figure, his brother.

Eros was born to Aphrodite and at first all seemed well. But then, Aphrodite noticed something that disturbed her. The child was not growing. His wings stayed as buds. His chubby flesh failed to develop muscles. It was as if he was possessed by a spirit that clung to infancy, refusing to step into maturity. Aphrodite became anxious and consulted her sister, the wise Themis. The goddess of good counsel (whose name translates literally as ‘what works’ ) advised her to have another child, this time by Ares, the brave god of war. Themis instructed that the second infant be called Anteros — he would be the equal of Eros. Aphrodite did as her sister said, and it worked. The two sons were rivals. They joshed and scrapped and fought, yet loved one another, too, and, as long as they played side by side, Eros developed normally. Yet, when they were apart, Aphrodite noticed that Eros would regress.

What Anteros brings is difficulty, a romantic equivalent to the sibling rivalry that young children hate so much in their jostling for a parent’s attention even though, like the tensions in an adult relationship, it can be the making of them, when sensitively handled. Anteros brings the courage required to resist the oceanic fantasy of disappearing into another’s arms, and instead embarks on the difficult process of making a life out of love. What he stands for, we might say, is the healthy spiritedness that lies behind lovers’ tiffs and rows which, if they can be reflected on and learnt from, make for maturity. The 16th-century proverb conveys this Anterotic dynamic: ‘The quarrel of lovers is the renewal of love’. If Eros is the god of love who shoots people with his arrows and turns them mad with desire, Anteros is the god of love who opposes the madness with a mix of his aunt’s pragmatism and his father’s strength.

To onlookers, it is unclear whether the two are making love or locked in some form of mutual violation

But the myth tells us more. Anteros’ aunt Themis was also known for her skill in bringing conflicting energies into a healing alignment. Today, her successors are couples’ therapists: they tend to be more interested in how troubled couples handle the emotions unleashed by their rows, rather than how to avoid rows in the first place. The anger and hate, fear and vulnerability of difficult relationships can be an opportunity. This is not your lost half, the therapist implies, but it is someone with whom you might find more integration and wholeness for yourself. Life is not perfected through love, as the romantic fantasy implies, but through love you can find more of life. Conversely, an inability to handle conflict is a good predictor of divorce.

It’s worth reflecting on the detail that Anteros helped his brother only while they played together. When they were apart, Eros regressed. Perhaps this conveys the value of commitment in relationships, a commitment that provides a container for the ups and downs, allowing them to be worked through. There is no static ‘happily ever after’, but a continuing need to play together. It suggests that a good relationship comes from the future, not the past, as Aristophanes’ myth implies. Love is more made than found.

I n his book Anteros: A Forgotten Myth (2011), Craig Stephenson gathers evidence that Eros’ brother might not have vanished after all. He discusses Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s poem, ‘Hero’s Lamp’ (1875), which speaks of a lamp that is dedicated to Anteros and can only be lit when a love lasts a lifetime — unlike the mad love Leander had for Hero, which led him to attempt to cross the sea to reach her too many times and drown.

Meanwhile, the famous wrestling scene in DH Lawrence’s novel, Women in Love , can be read, Stephenson argues, as a depiction of the rivalry between Eros and Anteros. Rupert Birkin and Gerald Crich wrestle ‘swiftly, rapturously, intent and mindless at last’. Birkin learns from the aggression, safely but fully expressed in the fight: his marriage to Ursula Brangwen will have to combine elements of unity and adversity to work. Separateness in union can be achieved only by holding opposites in tension, as the critic Frank Kermode has read into Lawrence. Lovers must reach ‘an equilibrium beyond the ordinary notion of sexual love’.

Fundamentally, the myth of Eros and Anteros is about a triangular form of love. The brothers fight as siblings, vying for the attention of Aphrodite. It is this kind of love that is life-giving, because Eros and Anteros can desire something outside their immediate dyadic concerns. Their love is triangular: it is fired by someone or something beyond their love for each other. Their rivalry draws them towards external elements in life — which is to say, life itself. Hence, Eros matures.

Plato built the myth of Anteros into one of his dialogues. The triangular element it seems, particularly interested him. In the Phaedrus dialogue, he describes what happens when individuals fall in love (this much is familiar): romantic urges compel them to rush together, propelled by desire. To onlookers, it is unclear whether the two are making love or locked in some form of mutual violation. But some lovers are blessed by what Plato calls an Anterotic dynamic. It is as if they are able to prise themselves apart from one another, stand back a little, and observe what is going on. A third space opens up between them. It brings an essential capacity for self-awareness.

A couple can work out not only how to live together but how to live well together

This gap has a dramatic effect on the relationship. No longer are they just driven by their lust for one another. Instead, in time, a more expansive intimacy develops, which has a quality akin to friendship. The words of the French writer and poet Antoine de Saint-Exupéry come to mind: ‘Experience shows us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.’ As lovers, two people look only into each other’s eyes; as friends, they can look ahead together. They begin to see a life that lies beyond them and, supported by one another — now standing in love — they have the resources to step into the future together.

What is interesting about Plato’s account is that he believes this life-enhancing friendship is the result of erotic love. His philosophy is not a denial of eros , but its skilful channelling, tricky as that is to pull off. This explains the original meaning of the phrase ‘Platonic friendship’ — not that the erotic was never to be felt between such friends (an idea that would have been regarded by Plato as a form of denial), but rather that the sexual expression of the romantic element is incorporated and transcended. In Freudian terms, the erotic instinct is sublimated. Its energy becomes available for the passionate pursuit of philosophy — an attractive possibility given that, for Plato, philosophy meant the cultivation of a life that makes for flourishing. To capture the same sentiment in a less highfalutin way, such a couple can work out not only how to live together but how to live well together.

Triangular love, where space is made in a relationship for life (and love) beyond the confines of the couple, is the highest form of human love because it makes a good life possible. As the philosopher Anthony Price puts it in Love and Friendship in Plato and Aristotle (1989), ‘in a promising soul well prompted, it is receptive of, and responsive to, the opening of new vistas’. It is a less fearful and self-obsessed love than that of Narcissus, and has space for others unlike Aristophanes’ glued-together lovers. To use Iris Murdoch’s phrase in her reading of Plato, this love has ‘an increased awareness of, sensibility to, the world beyond the self’.

But this raises an important question. If we want a way out of romantic confines, where can we pay homage to Anteros today? Craig Stephenson points out that what we popularly call the statue of Eros on the Shaftesbury memorial fountain in Piccadilly is actually Anteros. It was made in 1893 by the sculptor Alfred Gilbert who felt his own life mirrored the struggles of the rival brothers of love. Gilbert saw a reflection of his impulsive character in Eros and longed to know for himself more of the realism associated with Anteros. He must have felt that Anteros was the more suitable god to invoke in the heart of that romantic part of London. Personally, I offer Anteros a surreptitious, reverent bow each time I pass. It is in cautious thanks for the tricky side of love.

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Is There Really True Love?

To find true love, focus on giving, not receiving..

Posted December 23, 2017 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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Is there an emotional bond that deserves to be called true love? Is true love possible? In their 1986 hit song, the Judds sang: “Grandpa, take me back to yesterday ... Did lovers really fall in love to stay and stand beside each other come what may?”

The lyrics reflect the declining stability of marital relationships over four decades. Although the U.S. divorce rate declined slightly three years in a row from 2013 to 2016, typical marriages still have only about a 50% chance of lasting. For years, marriage rates declined, in part because young adults have waited longer to get married. Many say that they don’t intend to ever get married.

The belief that love is true when it lasts is not an outdated concept. In her 2015 song, True Love , Ariana Grande describes how her relationship grew into true love from kisses to a commitment to last forever. But how can a person know that a relationship will last forever? Lovers don’t expect that even a genuine relationship will consist only of passionate positive emotions. In 1960, Buddy Holly’s song, True Love Ways , was released posthumously. Written as a wedding gift for his wife, Holly’s song predicted: “Sometimes we’ll sigh; sometimes we’ll cry ... Throughout the days our true love ways will bring us joys to share with those who really care.”

Looking back on his marriage in his song, Remember When , Alan Jackson recounts the ups and downs over the years: “There was joy, there was hurt ... We came together, fell apart and broke each other’s hearts.” Despite it all, Jackson anticipated: “We won’t be sad, we’ll be glad for all the life we’ve had.”

Do conflicting emotions characterize or define true love? In her 2012 song, True Love , pop artist Pink expresses the mixed emotions of her relationship: “Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say ... At the same time, I wanna hug you.” In fact, Pink explains: “I really hate you so much, I think it must be true love,” because “nothing else can break my heart like true love ... And no one else can break my heart like you.” Despite hurt and heartbreak, Pink identifies her feelings as true love because “without you I’m incomplete.”

In his song, All of Me , dedicated to his fiancée, John Legend also admits to complex emotions: “You’re my downfall, you’re my muse. My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues.” But ultimately completeness is the core of his relationship: “You’re my end and my beginning. Even when I lose I’m winning, ‘cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you.” Do we know a love is true when we don’t feel complete without our lover?

Research suggests that people share a common image of what it means to be loved. Key characteristics of knowing someone loves you include: support without expectation of anything in return, compassion in difficult times, quality time together, being told you are loved, feeling special and appreciated, and being forgiven for something you did wrong. By contrast, people agree that we don’t feel loved when someone is possessive or tries to control us.

But what does it mean to love with a pure or true love? Research has documented a number of different types of love: eros or romantic, ludus or game-playing, storge or friendship , pragma or logical, mania or possessive, and agape or altruistic . Physical attraction and intimacy are central to eros, permissiveness and variety of partners characterize ludus, companionship and stability are the foundation of storge, and compatibility in social and personal characteristics is the core of pragma. Mania is obsessive, dependent, jealous and intensely emotional, whereas agape is altruistic, all-giving, and selfless with no expectation of love in return.

How we love others can vary for different relationships and in various situations. But does one style of loving represent what we envision as true love? While each style illustrates our yearning to find the right person who will satisfy our need to be loved, one—agape—reveals our capacity for what might come closest to pure love. Rather than being concerned with how a relationship benefits us, agape is focused on the best interests of the one we love. It is the love that puts the other first. Researchers identify this style as one in which a person tries to always help their lover through difficult times, sacrifice their own wishes to let their lover achieve theirs, endure all for the sake of their lover, and suffer in place of their lover.

This love is expressed in Freddy Fender’s hit recording of Before the Next Teardrop Falls : “If he brings you happiness , then I wish you all the best. It’s your happiness that matters most of all.” Beyond the emotional, the essence of this selfless love is behavioral commitment: “But if he ever breaks your heart, if the teardrops ever start, I’ll be there before the next teardrop falls.”

The benefits of agape have been highlighted by research. Selfless caring is associated with deep love, intimate communication, relationship satisfaction, loyalty and commitment. Couples in agape relationships are likely to deal more effectively with stress by supporting each other and by dealing with problems jointly, promoting their sense of “ we-ness .” Employing healthy coping strategies can deepen commitment and strengthen satisfaction with the relationship.

But are there costs to loving in such a selfless way? What are the psychological consequences of altruistic love? One would anticipate that the strong commitment and deep bond would mean great emotional pain if the relationship fails. As expected, research suggests that the end of such a rich committed relationship can result in feelings of profound loss and sadness. The more rewarding the love, the greater loss. Taking the risk of one day having to pay such a price is inherent in the essential nature of agape as all-giving and selfless.

Is it realistic to think that we can love in such an all-giving, non-demanding way? Research suggests that this style is rarely, if ever, fully actualized. It might well be the ideal we can hope for and strive toward. In searching for true love, we need to redirect our focus and energy from receiving to giving. Research shows that those who practice other-directed love are less likely to ever have to pay the hefty price. Perhaps there is such a thing as true love, and perhaps it can last.

Cooper, L. R., & Kurstin, G. (2012). True love [Recorded by Pink (Lily Rose Cooper)]. On The Truth About Love [CD]. New York, NY: RCA Records.

Galinha, I. C., Oishi, S., Pereira, C. R., Wirtz, D., & Esteves, F. (2014). Adult attachment, love styles, relationship experiences and subjective well-being: Cross-cultural and gender comparison between Americans, Portuguese, and Mozambicans. Social Indicators Research , 119 , 823-852.

Grande, A. (2015). True Love. On Christmas & Chill [Digital Release on iTunes]. Republic Records.

Hammock, G., & Richardson, D. S. (2011). Love attitudes and relationship experience. The Journal of Social Psychology , 151 , 608-624.

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Hendrick, C., & Hendrick, S. (1986). A theory and method of love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 50 , 392-402.

Holly, B., & Petty, N. (1960). True love ways [Recorded by B. Holly]. On The Buddy Holly Story , Volume 2 [Vinyl]. New York, NY: Coral Records.

Jackson, A. (2003). Remember when. On Greatest Hits Volume II [CD]. New York, NY: Arista Records.

Keith, V., & Peters, B. (1974). Before the next teardrop falls [Recorded by F. Fender]. On Before the Next Teardrop Falls [Vinyl]. Nashville, TN: Dot Records.

Legend, J. (2013). All of me. On Love in the Future [CD]. New York, NY: GOOD Music.

O’Hara, J. (1986). Grandpa, tell me ‘bout the good ol’ days [Recorded by The Judds]. On Rockin’ with the Rhythm [CD]. New York, NY: RCA Records.

Oravecz, Z., Muth, C., & Vandekerckhove, J. (2016). Do people agree on what makes one feel loved? A cognitive psychometric approach to the consensus on felt love. PLOS ONE . DOI:10.1371/journal.pone.0152803

Sharma, S., & Ahuja, K. K. (2014). Does love last forever? Understanding an elusive phenomenon among dating and married couples. Journal of Psychosocial Research , 9 , 153-162.

Vedes, A., Hilpert, P., Nussbeck, F. W., Randall, A. K., Bodenmann, G., & Lind, W. R. (2016). Love styles, coping, and relationship satisfaction: A dyadic approach. Personal Relationships , 23 , 84-97.

Krystine Batcho, Ph.D. , is a professor at Le Moyne College in Syracuse, New York.

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The Concept of True Love

1. introduction.

Yet love is perhaps the most complex human emotion. By its very definition, a term such as true love must be practically illusory. Many intellectual traditions and idealizing beliefs have conflicting perceptions about true love. Throughout history, philosophers and writers have contemplated diverse conceptions of love. The idea that no living creature could exist without love has led many writers to explain love and love for a companion and life partner. For example, the historical Greek term agape, a form of love strongly associated with Christianity, is perceived by Christians as the love for everyone as fellow human beings. In English biblical translations, agape is rendered as charity, a continuing, self-sacrificing concern for others. This definition is related to the phrase "unconditional love," while agape itself is a love that is covenant-originated and endures forever. Philosophers of love have also attempted to classify and define various forms of love for certain elements such as romantic love, or to explore various forms of love for certain groups of human beings, such as parental love, and its role in upbringing. True love, in this long Christian and philosophical tradition, is proved to be quite controversial; different particular views and conceptions have ways of superseding others in different periods. Given the central role of love in life and the significance of deep, committed relationships, it may not be surprising that such a fundamentally important concept has seen such diverse understandings. However, from a psychological point of view, the nature of true love has been examined systematically in the context of interpersonal relationships and positive emotions.

1.1. Definition of True Love

In defining true love, we use its common meaning. A person is said to be in a state of true love, marriage or no marriage, his or her level of happiness does not depend on anything. This can be the love between a mother and a child, a husband and a wife, a boyfriend and a girlfriend or deep affection for a close friend. If that person is not there or if they have been hurt, the person is going to feel pain. That is what we call love, a feeling of being happy with someone. We tend to think that true love is something very beautiful. But it is not rare because it cannot exist when we lack the ability to express ourselves. We usually do not know the way we show our love or if it is love at all. Scholars define true love as something that two people experience together. This kind of love is passionate and intense. It means that two people make a connection and they share their whole selves. The two people involved feel happy and they make each other happy. It is a physical and spiritual joining that allows two lovers to become one. But such a definition is not enough to define true love. Love can happen in different ways and not all love is the same because it can be expressed in many ways. In true love, "self" creases for the good of the object of love. The person involved in this case pays a good price for his or her partner. What the partner thinks or feels becomes very significant to the person in love. The action of the person is guided by the pleasures and pains of the partner. In other words, the life of the partner is as important as the lover's own life. The years of this charity, the person continuously works for the good of his or her partner. This kind of love is concerned with human self-sacrifice over a period of time. The person cannot go too long without getting an adequate response from the partner, otherwise the feelings of self-sacrifice do not continue with heart and without nearly as much psychological joy in our partner's happiness, the inspiration for the unselfish love gradually starts to diminish. So, it's time to know what we are searching for and most of us are seeking for emotional and psychological joy in: "The Concept of True Love".

1.2. Historical Perspectives on True Love

Today, people are of the view that love and marriages are a private and personal matter. Before the 18th century, love was considered not to be of much importance to the relationship between the two partners. And people generally married someone because of social pressure, material advancement, or to have a family and children. In those days, there was also a concept in the minds of authors and poets that could be said to be the addiction of the 12th century to the 16th century. The poets and authors used to tell the stories of a high form of love which is spiritual and a ritual between the two glorified souls and that is called "courtly love". And those notions became what many people know today as love. Really, it did not recognize the importance of marriage because there was no love in it. But that kind of love that was being sought after was a high and special form of love in the mind of the Christian belief and the God had made a couple and that love was not possible for the married couples. And courtly love was a connection to the expansion of chivalry and it would be a society where men and women love and it was not only a true guide to lead others to virtue. However, the people in the 12th and 15th century marriage was quite impossible that it was based on courtly love. Because marriage was mainly focused on politics and social and the couples were chosen by their relatives, neighbors, or by the parents.

2. Characteristics of True Love

Another characteristic of true love, according to the author, is that it involves a lot of sacrifices and selflessness. This is when a person always puts the other first in everything they do. The author gives an example of sacrificing one's favorite activities just to please the other person in the relationship, which the author terms as a sacrifice. A person who is engulfed in true love always feels the need to make the other person happy at their own expense. This should not be seen in a bad light since the person making the sacrifice does not view it that way. The author stipulates that although the person doing these may have an emotional feeling at first, constant sacrifice removes this feeling and leaves a feeling of altruism which leads to true love. Finally, true love does not involve any form of abuse, either physical or emotional. The author advises that in a situation where a person, either a man or woman, shows signs of undying love to an extent where they start to misuse the other person, then that is not true love since it does not involve any form of fear. The author concludes by stating that it is important for a person to truly understand themselves first before engaging themselves in a relationship. One should be sure that they are ready for the demands of loving and be willing to give their all in a relationship. He further states that successes and happiness in love are not destinations but a journey which involves constant arguments, negotiations, and more engagements in making the love grow.

2.1. Unconditional Affection and Care

The feeling of unconditional love that is often present in a true love relationship goes a long way toward helping both persons in the relationship feel happy and fulfilled. Finding someone who loves you despite your flaws and who cares for you every single day is a very comforting and yet exhilarating feeling. Unconditional affection implies that it does not matter what your loved one has done, you still care for them in the same way as you always have. But remember that this does not mean that you must accept abusive behavior in any form. This kind of behavior is uncalled for. It does mean, however, that when the occasional disagreement occurs in a relationship, it does not destroy a love that is based on unconditional affection. For some persons, the ability to care for someone else as much as or even more so than themselves is a good way to illustrate the traits of true love. Whether this caring takes the form of a parent providing for the needs of a child or an intimate partner making personal sacrifices so that the other person can be happy, this element of true love is characterized by caring for the other person's happiness. It is very common for people who are in a true love relationship to see no fault in the other person. This often happens with people who are in a new relationship or who do not really understand the meaning of true love in the first place. True love is not just a physical feeling but a deep-rooted feeling. To truly love another person, you have to be honest not only with the other person but you have to be honest with yourself. You do not have to pretend to be anything but who you are and you also have to trust and have faith that the other person cares for you and what is best for you in your relationship. Even when things get difficult between you and the person you love, it does not mean that a true love relationship will suffer; on the contrary, it will only strengthen its power.

2.2. Trust and Mutual Respect

Trust and mutual respect are two of the most important ingredients in a peaceful and long-lasting love affair. Trust means "relying on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing" according to a dictionary, but over time I've realized that trust is more than just that. Trust is that feeling you can rely on the other person no matter what; that you believe in them and feel safe with them physically and emotionally. Trust takes much time to build, but it takes a very short time to be destroyed. In a relationship based on mutual respect, both partners fully accept the right of the other to have their own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions. It means taking the other person's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes, and preferences into consideration. When there is open communication, it's much easier for people who have mutual respect to maintain a close, fulfilling love. On the other hand, "love without respect and trust is like a car with no gas; you can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere" (Anonymous). I remember when our love was with the gas ending and I found out changes in his behaviors. First, my soul was frozen because I had no idea of what was happening. I experienced the crumbling of my idealizations in him, my heart, and the emotional feelings that came with all of the above. However, as he started explaining things and gave me enough evidence to support what he said, I found my courage and love for him again gradually. If it wasn't for mutual respect and trust working to help me go through that tough time, my love would have ended in the car to die and never go anywhere. Trust and mutual respect also have an impact on the endearing and satisfying quality of love. For some people, "love is more lasting life span and emotional communication while infatuation is instant" (Brehm, Kassin, Fein, 2005). That is true because a good physical connection sometimes blinds us to the trust and mutual respect that's already established in a commitment. Mutual respect in love relationships has more to do with how each individual treats the other regardless of feelings or what they have done for us and so forth. It encompasses the feeling of having a partnership and not being isolated or judged in opinions or decisions. The compassion of showing empathy and being able to understand how the other person feels is another tool in building long-lasting love. On the whole, keeping a relationship transparent.

2.3. Emotional Intimacy and Connection

Emotional intimacy and connection are some of the fundamental elements of true love. It is the emotional connection between two individuals. A good relationship is based on support, rational understanding, and, most importantly, a true emotional bond. When you are emotionally connected, you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, dreams, and fears. You offer each other support and compassion. And you are honest and open with one another, trusting each other and showing true empathy. True love is not only felt, it's also visible to the naked eye. But if you are one of those people who look for proof in every situation, then you can look for visible signs of true love. When one feels strong affection and concern for another person while liking them, nothing else could be his/her act. This is generally known as true love. We would like to see ourselves and our lives, careers, and relationships validated and respected. But few relationships tend to show true respect and offer validation. Yet when emotional intimacy exists, there is genuine compassion and love. These feelings, coupled with any physical attraction, can deepen a relationship, turning what might have started as a casual fling into something more profound and significant. We are not just talking about appreciating another emotionally. One of the other signs of a deep emotional connection is our ability to respect and appreciate the love and compassion that comes from that affection. This sort of emotion, validation, and intimacy is often a signal from the human soul for a true meeting of the hearts. These characteristics go much deeper than the surface. They tend to reflect the nature of true love and offer evidence that emotional intimacy and connection are present or not, and that love of a genuine type is in these loving relationships. Emotional intimacy is a profound experience that can only be felt in the heart and soul. It affords a closeness that parallels no other relationship. When we allow someone else into our heart and when we step into the heart from that safe place of opportunity, we obtain trust and true connection with closeness.

2.4. Sacrifice and Selflessness

People often think of sacrifice as an act of giving up something for someone else. However, the idea of sacrifice can also extend to giving up something good for something better, signifying an act of love. Relationships should be built on equality, with both partners making mutual sacrifices for each other. Research shows that people who give more, of their time, their energy, their affection, and their own interests, to their partners are happier in their relationship and in life as a whole. This is because giving to others and making a sacrifice for those we love and care about brings us joy and it is life-affirming. For some people, however, sacrifice actually represents a loss of something nourishing, leading to eventual disappointment in the relationship. This happens when the other partner does not similarly make sacrifices so both can sustain an environment of mutual care and understanding. Sacrifice is not only an act of love, but it is also an essential part of true love. It is said that in order for the sacrifice to be real, it must cost; it must hurt; it must empty us of ourselves. Just as in the famous words of Mother Teresa, who dedicated her life to caring for the sick and dying in Calcutta, "Love to be real, it must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self." Mother Teresa demonstrated a life filled with true love and sacrifice, which eventually led to her being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979. She sacrificed her time, her energy and her own life by dedicating herself to help others in need. This act of selflessness, and putting her love into action, not only helped and changed millions of lives, but also served as a basis for understanding the true meaning of life and love to people around the globe. We all have to make sacrifices in our lives, be it a material, moral or emotional kind. Sacrifice is a fundamental act of love, it must be based on empathy and understanding. True love may lead to some pain as it exposed us, because the happiness of the person who we love become very important to us and we put their happiness above ours. But true love is still build on respect of each other's independence, on sharing and on freedom.

3. Expressions of True Love

Living true love practice is simple and yet senseless. It can show up in numerous habits that may go back and forth in our regular day to day existence. We have to remember, however, that every day is an opportunity to practice love. With the awareness of the idea of love in our minds, we come to the realization that we can adjust our everyday activities to promote love. With that thought of love in our minds, we may be flexible, kind, generous, and patient while having an understanding of one another. Also, true love is reflected through actions. In true love, you will do similar things again and again for the person you love, without complaining. Therefore, being yourself is the essence of love as you won't act differently from what love does, but communication may change according to the person or place. Giving oneself to another and giving resources to benefit them are the ultimate demonstration of love. Giving resources with intention brings comfort, joy, and satisfaction. It might sound crazy. When I read the first point, I also couldn't help but disagree that, how can you give happiness to others? Yet, I'm sure that what I now hold will be genuine love. Helping someone, we can be a hero to someone. If we offer to help a friend who was abandoned and with our help, he/she can turn a bad day into a good day, we will be remembered during his/her lifetime. Also, love will be built between both of you. Eventually, our actions are influenced. Helping someone else is the answer to one's prayer.

3.1. Acts of Kindness and Thoughtfulness

Anyway, a way to express true love in a romantic relationship is to do a small act of kindness that is entirely for the happiness of the one you love. Supposed surprises are not only great for showing the one you love how much they mean to you, but are also far reaching in keeping true love alive in a relationship. Kindness is the essence of a happy home. When we're kind to each other, we gain the cooperation and support of those around us. It takes moments of noticing our spouses' kindness, then consciously appreciating it, and then verbalizing that appreciation. The true love consists of growth, kindness and a willingness to show humility by accepting thoughtfulness and offering it in return. Each exercise is a small one - a tiny destination in the journey of our inner space. But they are full of positive power. All these random acts of kindness will create more happiness between each other. It makes kindness the defining factor in a relationship rather than unforgivable flaws. Each kindness we offer brings the dawning light of true love into our hearts. When we experience true love, it serves and fulfills both lover and beloved. We are inspired to answer the call of the beloved to reach out and become the highest painting of ourselves to act out of kindness and compassion. At the same respect should be given each other and receive the kindness from each other. As individuals, showing acts of kindness is a way for true love to be released. Why does a person show acts of kindness? The reason falls into the benefit for ourselves and for others. We are formed by actions and thoughts. What we believe, and what we do, ultimately define who we are. True love is not something that comes everyday, follow your heart, it knows the right answer. And a random act of kindness, however small, can make a tremendous impact on someone else's life. Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. We also must remember we're saving the best of ourselves by practicing kindness. Every time we are loving, every time we are kind, and every time we are generous, we create our own happiness. When we are nice to people, it can lead to a ripple effect. The writer, instead of going into all the ways to show kindness, decides to say that kindness is the essence of a happy home. And that thoughtful acts bring true love into our hearts. He is giving examples of how to show love and kindness without even realizing it, such as fixing something without being asked or offering to make dinner. But the writer is also making sure to show that by displaying these acts of kindness, we can overcome unforgivable flaws and make judgmental society a thing of the past. In turn, both writers have made their point about the significance of demonstrating random acts of kindness. And every single act of kindness will evoke positive power and happiness.

3.2. Effective Communication and Active Listening

Effective communication and active listening are considered as the most essential elements in a successful relationship with true love. Effective communication involves the ongoing process of telling, listening, and responding. A direct information exchange, for example, is a type of effective communication. During the conversation, the emotions and information are delivered instantly from the mind of one person to the mind of another. Active listening requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what he or she hears. The ability to listen actively can improve communication by helping the listener develop empathy with the speaker. Following the steps for effective communication helps to ensure the success of the communication. First, both parties should be clear about what they are going to convey. For instance, both the speaker and the listener should be clear whether they are talking about a financial problem, headache, or the lack of love. Both of them should help to clarify the topic and goal for the communication by paying attention to the body language, mood of the partner, and the surroundings. Second, both the speaker and the listener should look for feedback on the speaking. Giving feedback to the speaker may help the speaker to correct the mistakes instantly and hence it helps to ensure a better result of the communication. Giving feedback might be like nodding or saying "yes". Third, both the speaker and the listener should make a safe and comfortable environment for the communication. It is very important to confront the presence of respect, integrity, and diversity. No negative labeling, and no order should be given by any party to another. Fourth, both parties should show the willingness to communicate. For anyone who ignores the communication, the process will never work. Last but not least, choose the right time and place for the communication. This is because privacy and comfort can increase the level of concentration and completeness of the communication. Active listening can also help the listener to avoid interrupting the speaker during the communication process - a major problem that affects communication. It works to provide time for the speaker to make his or her points, help the listener to understand and respond to the speaker in an effective and precise manner, help to gain the whole view of the communication, understand the health and emotion of the speaker, and alleviate the process of communication. Also, active listening can enable the listener to communicate with more appropriate words and responses when giving feedback, and actually "see" the words that come out from the speaker's mouth.

3.3. Quality Time and Shared Experiences

The shared experiences that bonded true love are never about gender. It isn't about the experience itself. For example, if a couple has a deep conversation through a meal or develops a better understanding when assembling a cabinet, these experiences and the love that is shown are valued more than the activity itself. Men in the past used to feel pressure in having to provide and spending quality time meant having to go out, watch a movie, and spend a lot of money. Women used to feel neglected when they do not have the man's undivided attention, which indicated that the man is not expressing love in ways that the woman needs. As time changes and since Generation Y and Z are more exposed, quality time has changed. Now, quality time means being together and having undivided attention, regardless of what is being done. It can be doing something with an interest that the partner loves, going out for an adventure, dining and having deep conversation, putting away phones while talking, cooking and doing housework together, or even nothing but just leaning the head on the shoulder while the partner is working. When love is expressed through quality time, it helps to show the connection and effort that one side expresses and the other side receives. Dr. Gary Chapman, an author, radio talk show host, and marriage counselor, who wrote a book called "Five Love Languages," stressed the importance of the right kind of love. Giving is the best way to receive love, but what is important is learning the partner's love language. This helps to express love to the partner and understand the partner in return. His theory has helped many couples have a fulfilling relationship and improve their own marriage life. Though Generation Ys have their own way to interpret quality time, it can't be denied that spending true quality time strengthens the bond between couples, as the feeling of being connected can last longer. Love researcher Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeev believes that the shared emotional connection, not the novelty of the experience, contributes to lasting happiness in the relationship. "Couples who sweat together, stay together." This has been evidenced that doing new and challenging activities boost the brain's dopamine levels, which is the same hormone released during the early period of romantic love. It is important for couples to capitalize on this transient phenomenon. Couples who undertake exciting and enjoyable activities allow room for building the emotional connection and deepen their love. This shared affectionate moment will strengthen the bond between the two parties. Besides, the joint activities help to identify similarities, shared common interests, and what the partner loves, which therefore contributes to a better understanding. Common activities strengthen the emotional connection through likes, thoughts, and effort.

3.4. Support and Encouragement

Providing support and encouragement for each other in the relationship is quite an important factor for a loving partnership. It is because we all know that life is full of ups and downs. There are always moments of joy as well as moments of sorrow. There are many obstacles that we have to confront in our daily life from a failed exam, to a broken relationship, to the loss of a loved one. There are also stress and pressure that we have to struggle with. In these difficulty moments, we all need to have both the physical and the emotional support from the people around us. For a loving relationship, the couple should be always ready to give each other the support and encouragement in every step along the way. A listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or finding an answer to a problem- all are the symbol of support from someone who loves us. These are what we called the physical support. On the other hand, the existence of emotional support can create a very deep and profound impact to the one that we loved. And to give emotional support means to show the measure of understanding, empathy, patience and love "unconditionally" to our partners. It is important to know the feelings and emotional status of each other and it is the responsibility of both sides to communicate the feelings to the other part. Great, over here you notice that it is the responsibility of "both sides". So, we can say that giving and receiving the emotional support and encouragement each other in the relationship is a reciprocal process. But a person might not know how to support even if he or she really wants to give the support to his or her partner. In such case, don't be panic and despair. Try and let your partner to understand that even "failure" sometimes is just a way of the "beginning" and does not mean "the end". Give your ideas and propose a good and do-able plan for the solution. These are the effective ways of injecting the feeling of encouragement to the partner. Well, it takes time for the medical and therapeutic professions to better understand and treat the illness. Loving someone who has a mental illness is not an easy or short journey and sometimes- that will be the "whole life" story. So, when we demonstrate the true love and the support - and when we have faith on the recovery, we actually help to create the positive environment for the patients' on their road to recovery. With a sense of self- worth, hope and the continuous support from us, patients will be more confident to combat their internal difficulties and to confront the external challenges posed by the mental illness. The power of unconditional love and support in the marriage can be illustrated in "The John's Story". The story is about a young man named John Alves who suffers from a severe case of schizophrenia.

3.5. Physical Affection and Intimacy

Another important expression of true love is physical affection and intimacy, such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, and sexual intercourse. Oftentimes, physical touch and closeness are considered in terms of their importance for a healthy relationship. Research has clearly indicated that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. This may be why when a person's emotions are absent, the marriage is often dealing with sexual dysfunction. A person feels unloved for who they are, their true nature, and cannot become what their spouse wants them to be or fulfill that person's needs or wishes. Every time we touch our spouse with loving and sexual intent, the good feeling and hormone oxytocin is released as a part of our body's mechanics. It is nature's natural, stress-reducing, calming, and peaceful feeling, provides us with a sense of security, and comforts a person on a deep level. The warm and fuzzy feeling and its various benefits outlined, in fact, present the authentic and psychological evidence. Moreover, couples who practice physical affection regularly, as simple as sitting near to one another, are happier than those that do not. Also, sexual intercourse and its enjoyments have become the part and parcel of the matrimonial life. Scholars argued that intercourse is beneficial for each individual's health. As a matter of fact, there are numerous health benefits of sexual intercourse. Physiologically, having a healthy and regular sex life is important as a natural part of the body's wellbeing. For example, it helps to lower the systolic blood pressure. Also, it is a form of physical exercise in a way. Every time when we feel the love and passion for our partner, an increase heart rate and likewise cardiac work are expected. It is also tested that the intercourse burning approximately 85 to 150 calories depending on the duration of the activity. In addition, sexual intimacy releases a hormone in the brain known as endorphins, a natural opiate, and provides relief from chronic pain, headache, and arthritis. It also serves to deliver increased pain thresholds and better tolerance towards discomfort. Elimination of stress and anxieties also is the emotional well-being that is accompanied by sexual intercourse. This is due to the fact that stress hormones are reduced while oxytocin level - being known as tranquillizing agent and the mirroring effect, increased. Last but not least, at the time of orgasm, the hormone oxytocin is released in the climax moment and this creates a sense of emotional and relational bonding. As such, the intimacy moments will increase and couples will experience more connected and closer in the life. It is worth to note that the instinctive bursts of oxytocin and the life-themed chemicals during those quality activities are a result in strong emotional dimensions in a person's living.

4. Challenges in True Love

ntly requires open communication, vulnerability, and a willingness to trust and let go of control. It means recognizing that love is not about possession or control, but about mutual growth and support. It means understanding that love is not something to be held onto tightly, but something to be nurtured and allowed to flourish. It means embracing the idea that love is not a guarantee, but a choice that we make every day. And most importantly, it means realizing that the only way to truly find and maintain love is by first finding and maintaining ourselves.

4.1. Maintaining Individual Identity

In relation to the concept of true love, maintaining individual identity when engaging in a romantic relationship is understood as an important dynamic that contributes to the success and sustainability of the relationship. Sociologists and researchers suggest that the majority of breakups and divorces are the result of one or both partners in the relationship succumbing to the factors that lead to the "loss of their own selves". This is when "significant others" become more significant than the existence of one's own self. "Significant other" in this context may refer to a spouse, a partner, or a lover. When that happens, a state of "identity diffusion" is reached and a person becomes "morbid, irritable, and despondent" because he or she has already lost their individual identity. It is then manifested as a psychological problem. Clinical psychologists have identified a set of symptoms commonly found in the mental ailment called "borderline personality disorder". Such symptoms include a deep fear of abandonment, intense emotional swings, a feeling of emptiness, explosive anger, etc. The leading factors to this illness are not just biological or genetic predispositions. Instead, an "invalidating environment," for example, when significant others ignore, belittle, or deny a person's individual feelings and experiences, is a crucial element that causes the disorder to occur. This term is defined by Marsha Linehan, the founder of dialectical behavior therapy for the treatment of borderline personality disorder. What this information tells us are the implications and severe consequences of failing to preserve individual identity in the context of romantic relationships. Individuals help to define a society, and their social interaction and relationships with one another form the common institutions within a society. However, when we mention the term "individual", it refers to a collection of characteristics that each person has. Most importantly, their identity is unique and separate from others. A romantic relationship begins with the formation of the couple's shared identity. As the love continues to grow and the mutual self-disclosure deepens, each partner incorporates aspects of the other into themselves. Over time, if a steady progress of the relationship develops, the loving couple forms a new interdependent system that serves to nourish the growth of the relationship - the "relationship-system". This paradigm of "couple" versus "individuals" can be explained by looking into "symbolic interactionism". This theoretical framework sees the individual self as a social product, emerging through the symbolic communication that people have with one another. Yet, these meanings and sense of self that construct from interactions must be "sustained" over time. Now, let us consider the metaphor of "self as a house". A person has their own house, and throughout the journey of love, the individual gladly invites the love from their partner to build an extension for the existing house. Yet, both must understand that they need to keep up with the maintenance for their own houses; otherwise, the houses may no longer stand and provide shelter. Similarly, a person needs to maintain a balance between nurturing the love of "the special guest" and making sure that their own "house" is well sustained. A research by Richard Buhrmester and Scott Reis found that although the satisfaction of married individuals is positively related to the quality of the marriage, yet the closeness and interdependency between the couples resulted in a negative correlation between personal control, independence, and the individual's well-being. That shows that as a loving relationship works towards a stage of interdependence, the well-being of the individuals within that relationship begins to be compromised by the "self-neglecting" love. People argue that a sense of belonging and satisfaction can be obtained when "the wall of the living room is painted pink for the love", but they overlook the consequences that lead to the premature termination of the self-growth process, the development of self-awareness, and the pursuit of self-fulfillment.

4.2. Dealing with Conflict and Differences

Another common challenge in true love is having to deal with disagreements and discord. Contrary to popular belief, it is perfectly natural for couples to argue and it can even be a healthy aspect of a relationship. This is because when handled correctly, arguments and differences of opinion can help to bring a couple closer and strengthen the emotional bond. In many instances, arguments are not actually about the subject matter but about a lack of understanding and empathy for the partner's point of view. It is vital that when couples argue, they should never resort to personal attacks or criticizing fundamental elements of the partner's character. Instead, it can be beneficial to take a step back, calm down and present feelings and thoughts in a more structured and coherent manner. Crucially, it is important that both parties are willing to listen to the other's point of view and are open to the idea that they can grow and develop as people through the experience. It is understandable that when a couple runs into a severe and prolonged period of differences or conflict, it can be especially testing on emotions and the individuals involved. In cases such as these, an impartial third party can help to mediate and offer an objective viewpoint - this could be anything from a close friend to a qualified relationship therapist. However, the cornerstone of dealing with conflict and differences is the mutual assurance of love and care. Both sides of the relationship need to act honestly and maturely and keep in mind the long-term mutual happiness. When combined with the use of effective and open communication, differences and disagreements can be effectively resolved without causing unnecessary strain on the relationship.

4.3. Nurturing Love in Long-Term Relationships

In long-term relationships, it is particularly important to encourage the expressions of true love that involve caring and consideration for each other. Couples often have to cope with external stressors in their lives, such as managing a household, raising children, or coping with major life changes, and it can be all too easy to become internally focused and to take each other for granted. There are a number of principles that can help to nurture love in long-term relationships. For example, both partners need to make sustained and proactive efforts to attend to the relationship; this means that self-help materials and strategies recommended for relationships sometimes prioritize quality time spent together, maintaining the friendship, intimacy and closeness between and ensuring that each partner's needs, no matter how small, are taken seriously. Cultivating a culture in the relationship and wider social circles that support mutual acts of kindness and thoughtfulness is another strategy. These acts can take many forms - it might be making a cup of tea without being asked, giving a partner a lift, or folding the laundry in the morning so that the other person has one less thing to underpin a deeper feeling such as accommodating someone else's needs, taking immense pleasure in their company or feeling complete when they are close. The type of emotional intimacy in relationships that is likely to lead to expressions of true love is characterized by any one or a combination of the following: knowing that another person has similar values, acting in the other person's best interest, sharing deep and meaningful conversation, or providing physical closeness and comfort. This type of intimacy excludes 'passionate' and 'companionable' love but can be present in the contexts of romantic love, companionate love, and also between friends and family alike. These principles are not intended to be quick fixes, but rather to form the basis for maintaining and nurturing a loving adult relationship; defined here as a relationship which is primarily intended for the mutual growth and happiness of the individuals. Such relationships are able to transcend the ego-centric pull of the self towards the other, in the absence of which expressions of the self alone may be to the detriment of the relationship. By sustaining true love over time, the relationship can not only deepen in terms of closeness and intimacy but can also broaden into more rewarding aspects of companionship and inter-dependence.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Relationship — Understanding True Love

Understanding True Love

• Categories: Relationship

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Words: 380 |

Published: Apr 11, 2019

Words: 380 | Page: 1 | 2 min read

Works Cited

• Beck, A. (1988). Love is never enough: How couples can overcome misunderstandings, resolve conflicts, and solve relationship problems through cognitive therapy. New York: Harper Perennial.
• Cohen, L. (1992). The Future. In The Future (p. 13). Columbia Records.
• Epstein, M. (2009). The nature of love: A philosophical exploration. Oxford University Press.
• Fisher, H. (2017). Anatomy of love: A natural history of mating, marriage, and why we stray. WW Norton & Company.
• Fromm, E. (1956). The art of loving. Harper & Row.
• Johnson, S. (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. Little, Brown.
• Rumi. (2004). The Essential Rumi (Coleman Barks, Trans.). HarperCollins.
• Schwartz, B. (2016). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. HarperCollins.
• Sue, D. W., & Sue, D. (2015). Counseling the culturally diverse: Theory and practice. John Wiley & Sons.
• Whelan, M. (2013). Love 2.0: How our supreme emotion affects everything we feel, think, do, and become. Penguin.

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Before You Write a Love Essay, Read This to Get Examples

The day will come when you can’t escape the fate of all students: You will have to write a what is love essay.

No worries:

Here you’ll find tons of love essay topics and examples. No time to read everything? Scroll down to get a free PDF with original samples.

Definition: Essay on Love

First, let’s define what is love essay?

The most common topics are:

• Definition of love
• What is love?
• Meaning of love

Why limit yourself to these hackneyed, general themes? Below, I’ll show how to make your paper on love original yet relevant to the prompt you get from teachers.

Love Essay Topics: 20 Ideas to Choose for Your Paper

Your essay on love and relationship doesn’t have to be super official and unemotional. It’s ok to share reflections and personal opinions when writing about romance.

Often, students get a general task to write an essay on love. It means they can choose a theme and a title for their paper. If that’s your case,  feel free to try any of these love essay topics:

• Exploring the impact of love on individuals and relationships.
• Love in the digital age: Navigating romance in a tech world.
• Is there any essence and significance in unconditional love?
• Love as a universal language: Connecting hearts across cultures.
• Biochemistry of love: Exploring the process.
• Love vs. passion vs. obsession.
• How love helps cope with heartbreak and grief.
• The art of loving. How we breed intimacy and trust.
• The science behind attraction and attachment.
• How love and relationships shape our identity and help with self-discovery.
• Love and vulnerability: How to embrace emotional openness.
• Romance is more complex than most think: Passion, intimacy, and commitment explained.
• Love as empathy: Building sympathetic connections in a cruel world.
• Evolution of love. How people described it throughout history.
• The role of love in mental and emotional well-being.
• Love as a tool to look and find purpose in life.
• Welcoming diversity in relations through love and acceptance.
• Love vs. friendship: The intersection of platonic and romantic bonds.
• The choices we make and challenges we overcome for those we love.
• Love and forgiveness: How its power heals wounds and strengthens bonds.

Love Essay Examples: Choose Your Sample for Inspiration

Essays about love are usually standard, 5-paragraph papers students write in college:

• One paragraph is for an introduction, with a hook and a thesis statement
• Three are for a body, with arguments or descriptions
• One last passage is for a conclusion, with a thesis restatement and final thoughts

Below are the ready-made samples to consider. They’ll help you see what an essay about love with an introduction, body, and conclusion looks like.

What is love essay: 250 words

Lao Tzu once said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Indeed, love can transform individuals, relationships, and our world.

A word of immense depth and countless interpretations, love has always fascinated philosophers, poets, and ordinary individuals. This  emotion breaks boundaries and has a super power to change lives. But what is love, actually?

It’s a force we feel in countless ways. It is the warm embrace of a parent, filled with care and unwavering support. It is the gentle touch of a lover, sparking a flame that ignites passion and desire. Love is the kind words of a friend, offering solace and understanding in times of need. It is the selfless acts of compassion and empathy that bind humanity together.

Love is not confined to romantic relationships alone. It is found in the family bonds, the connections we forge with friends, and even the compassion we extend to strangers. Love is a thread that weaves through the fabric of our lives, enriching and nourishing our souls.

However, love is not without its complexities. It can be both euphoric and agonizing, uplifting and devastating. Love requires vulnerability, trust, and the willingness to embrace joy and pain. It is a delicate balance between passion and compassion, independence and interdependence.

Finally, the essence of love may be elusive to define with mere words. It is an experience that surpasses language and logic, encompassing a spectrum of emotions and actions. Love is a profound connection that unites us all, reminding us of our shared humanity and the capacity for boundless compassion.

What is love essay: 500 words

A 500-word essay on why I love you

Trying to encapsulate why I love you in a mere 500 words is impossible. My love for you goes beyond the confines of language, transcending words and dwelling in the realm of emotions, connections, and shared experiences. Nevertheless, I shall endeavor to express the depth and breadth of my affection for you.

First and foremost, I love you for who you are. You possess a unique blend of qualities and characteristics that captivate my heart and mind. Your kindness and compassion touch the lives of those around you, and I am grateful to be the recipient of your unwavering care and understanding. Your intelligence and wit constantly challenge me to grow and learn, stimulating my mind and enriching our conversations. You have a beautiful spirit that radiates warmth and joy, and I am drawn to your vibrant energy.

I love the way you make me feel. When I am with you, I feel a sense of comfort and security that allows me to be my true self. Your presence envelops me in a cocoon of love and acceptance, where I can express my thoughts, fears, and dreams without fear of judgment. Your support and encouragement inspire me to pursue my passions and overcome obstacles. With you by my side, I feel empowered to face the world, knowing I have a partner who believes in me.

I love the memories we have created together. From the laughter-filled moments of shared adventures to the quiet and intimate conversations, every memory is etched in my heart. Whether exploring new places, indulging in our favorite activities, or simply enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence, each experience reinforces our bond. Our shared memories serve as a foundation for our relationship, a testament to the depth of our connection and the love that binds us.

I love your quirks and imperfections. Your true essence shines through these unique aspects! Your little traits make me smile and remind me of the beautiful individual you are. I love how you wrinkle your nose when you laugh, become lost in thought when reading a book, and even sing off-key in the shower. These imperfections make you human, relatable, and utterly lovable.

I love the future we envision together. We support each other’s goals, cheering one another on as we navigate the path toward our dreams. The thought of building a life together, creating a home filled with love and shared experiences, fills my heart with anticipation and excitement. The future we imagine is one that I am eager to explore with you by my side.

In conclusion, the reasons why I love you are as vast and varied as the universe itself. It is a love that defies logic and surpasses the limitations of language. From the depths of my being, I love you for the person you are, the way you make me feel, the memories we cherish, your quirks and imperfections, and the future we envision together. My love for you is boundless, unconditional, and everlasting.

A 5-paragraph essay about love

I’ve gathered all the samples (and a few bonus ones) in one PDF. It’s free to download. So, you can keep it at hand when the time comes to write a love essay.

Ready to Write Your Essay About Love?

Now that you know the definition of a love essay and have many topic ideas, it’s time to write your A-worthy paper! Here go the steps:

• Check all the examples of what is love essay from this post.
• Choose the topic and angle that fits your prompt best.
• Write your original and inspiring story.

Any questions left? Our writers are all ears. Please don’t hesitate to ask!

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Essay on Love for Students and Children

500+ words essay on love.

Love is the most significant thing in human’s life. Each science and every single literature masterwork will tell you about it. Humans are also social animals. We lived for centuries with this way of life, we were depended on one another to tell us how our clothes fit us, how our body is whether healthy or emaciated. All these we get the honest opinions of those who love us, those who care for us and makes our happiness paramount.

What is Love?

Love is a set of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs with strong feelings of affection. So, for example, a person might say he or she loves his or her dog, loves freedom, or loves God. The concept of love may become an unimaginable thing and also it may happen to each person in a particular way.

Love has a variety of feelings, emotions, and attitude. For someone love is more than just being interested physically in another one, rather it is an emotional attachment. We can say love is more of a feeling that a person feels for another person. Therefore, the basic meaning of love is to feel more than liking towards someone.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Need of Love

We know that the desire to love and care for others is a hard-wired and deep-hearted because the fulfillment of this wish increases the happiness level. Expressing love for others benefits not just the recipient of affection, but also the person who delivers it. The need to be loved can be considered as one of our most basic and fundamental needs.

One of the forms that this need can take is contact comfort. It is the desire to be held and touched. So there are many experiments showing that babies who are not having contact comfort, especially during the first six months, grow up to be psychologically damaged.

Significance of Love

Love is as critical for the mind and body of a human being as oxygen. Therefore, the more connected you are, the healthier you will be physically as well as emotionally. It is also true that the less love you have, the level of depression will be more in your life. So, we can say that love is probably the best antidepressant.

It is also a fact that the most depressed people don’t love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also become self-focused and hence making themselves less attractive to others.

Society and Love

It is a scientific fact that society functions better when there is a certain sense of community. Compassion and love are the glue for society. Hence without it, there is no feeling of togetherness for further evolution and progress. Love , compassion, trust and caring we can say that these are the building blocks of relationships and society.

Relationship and Love

A relationship is comprised of many things such as friendship , sexual attraction , intellectual compatibility, and finally love. Love is the binding element that keeps a relationship strong and solid. But how do you know if you are in love in true sense? Here are some symptoms that the emotion you are feeling is healthy, life-enhancing love.

Love is the Greatest Wealth in Life

Love is the greatest wealth in life because we buy things we love for our happiness. For example, we build our dream house and purchase a favorite car to attract love. Being loved in a remote environment is a better experience than been hated even in the most advanced environment.

Love or Money

Love should be given more importance than money as love is always everlasting. Money is important to live, but having a true companion you can always trust should come before that. If you love each other, you will both work hard to help each other live an amazing life together.

Love has been a vital reason we do most things in our life. Before we could know ourselves, we got showered by it from our close relatives like mothers , fathers , siblings, etc. Thus love is a unique gift for shaping us and our life. Therefore, we can say that love is a basic need of life. It plays a vital role in our life, society, and relation. It gives us energy and motivation in a difficult time. Finally, we can say that it is greater than any other thing in life.

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