child can't focus on homework

A Fine Parent

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9 Simple Tips for Teaching Kids How to Focus on Homework

by Cate Scolnik . (This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here .)

Five minutes into my daughter starting it, she’s asked 4 irrelevant questions and walked across the room twice – for no reason .

She had a break when she first got in from school, and had a snack. Then we agreed to a little outside time before starting homework.

She’s got the book open and a pencil in her hand, but that’s the sum total of her achievement so far.

Her mind doesn’t seem to want to sit still – preferring to bounce all around the place. It’s like her mind is a magnet, and when it’s put near homework, it repels away from it.

When she was 5 I thought she would grow out of it, but at 8 years old I was beginning to worry.

As someone who likes to get in and get things done, it drives me nuts .

Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter dearly. But the way she gets distracted every 5 minutes during homework time is enough to make anyone go crazy.

She’s highly intelligent, has loads of positive energy and is warm and engaging. She can focus long and hard on anything she is interested in. But getting her to focus on homework she isn’t keen on? Damn near impossible.

I just couldn’t sustain parenting positively unless I got this under control. I wanted to take some action.

At one point when her distraction was driving me nuts, I had started to wonder if I should get her tested for attention deficit disorder (ADD). My research on this topic led me to discover some behavioral techniques used with ADD kids, that are also applicable to any child having difficulty focusing.

I decided to try them for teaching my daughter how to focus on homework. Some worked better than others but overall it has been a great success. Here are the ones that worked for us –

#1 Keep It Short

When it came to doing homework, we kept it short and broke it down. Generally, that meant one ten-minute stint a day, instead of one 30-40 minute block each week.

Each time she wandered off task (mentally or physically), I would gently guide her back to the homework.

I kept the focus light and pointed out the fun parts of her work. And I bit down hard on my tongue every time I felt like screaming “If you just stuck to the task and focused you could be done already!”

#2 Use A Timer

So, if I estimated a task could be completed in about 2 minutes, I’d set the timer for 5 minutes. Each time she started chatting about something, I’d say something like “I hope you beat the timer!” or “Don’t forget – you want to beat the timer!”

#3 Wear Them Out

My daughter has loads of physical energy, so I made sure she got lots of exercise . Even now she needs to do lots of running around, or physical activity to wear her out a bit.

I’m not talking about making her run a marathon every day. Just encouraging and supporting her to move her body.

I worked with her natural rhythms as much as possible. I realized she had more energy in the afternoon, so we often went on outings in the morning.

If she’d been to school for the day and we were going to spend a few minutes on homework, I’d encourage her to go and jump her jiggles out on the trampoline before we sat down to focus.

#4 Kept It Positive

I focused on her positive outcomes as much as possible. Whenever she breezed through an activity I would give her positive feedback .

“Look how quickly you finished writing out your words! You stayed focused and you finished that in no time. Well done!”

We’d always start homework early and allow extra time to get things done, so I had to be organized and plan ahead. This meant I could sometimes say, “Wow! You finished your homework the day before it’s due. Great effort!”

If we’d been working on a homework task for a long time and she was just getting less and less focused, I’d call a stop to it. When a five-minute task is only half done after 25 minutes, and there’s no momentum, there really isn’t any point continuing.

This is a tricky one, and I didn’t use it often. She’s a bright girl and she knew she hadn’t finished what she set out to do that day. But if we kept trying and getting nowhere, we would both become very frustrated and dejected – no good ever comes out of that.

So I’d suggest we leave it for now, and come back to the task when we were fresher. This way she wasn’t failing, it just wasn’t the right time.

#6 Eat More Fish

Crazy as it might sound, eating more fish or taking fish oil supplements , is apparently helpful.

Now, I’m not a nutritionist and I understand that the fish oil theory is unproven. But there seems to be research to support the fact that fish oil high in EPA (rather than DHA) can help improve focus.

I figured it was something that couldn’t hurt, so I did it. It seemed to me that each time her fish oil consumption dipped, she became less focused.

I’ve no real evidence to support that – it may just be in my head. 😉

#7 Encourage Self-Management

The Tools of the Mind program produces brighter children who are classified as gifted more often, but more importantly, it also produces kids with better behavior, greater focus and control.

Classes involve role play and each child creates their own detailed plan of their part. If a child gets off track, the teacher refers them back to their plan.

One of the ways the program helps is through encouraging planning and time management by setting weekly goals. This helps to wire up the part of the brain responsible for maintaining concentration and setting goals.

The Tools of the Mind philosophy is that every child can become a successful learner, with the right support. Children learn by using the skills they currently have – such as drawing and play. They think through their play plan, then draw a detailed record of it, then carry it out.

Using their skills in this way teaches children to set achievable goals, work out how to reach them, and stay on track. They learn they can be responsible for their own outcomes. We’ve been using this to teach my daughter self-management .

#8 Work Together

My daughter is nearly eleven now and has matured a lot over the last year. And I’ve just started using self-management techniques to help her set goals and plan how she’ll achieve them.

Earlier this year she said she really wanted to improve her grades, which I said was a great goal. Then she said she wanted to be involved in band, which means taking some band lessons in class time.

I asked her to plan how she intended to achieve both goals, given she has other extra-curricular activities she wants to keep up.

She created a plan to practice her instrument regularly and do more homework than she has previously. We’re at week 7 of our school year here in Australia, and so far she’s on track.

She dives into homework without being reminded and gets it done early. She’s also completing homework tasks to a higher standard, rather than madly (and messily) rushing through them .

Since starting band she’s been practicing twice a day, every day – without being asked. I know that if she loses momentum, or strays off track, I can direct her back to her own plan.

#9 Understand The Scale

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. And attention and focus can vary wildly, particularly in the early years.

It partly depends on the environment, and partly the child.

Try and take the pressure off, and work with your child’s strengths.

Break tasks down and keep them fun.

Aim for a balance between physical and mental focus, and remember it’s OK to give up if the timing isn’t right.

Have realistic expectations, and know that your child’s focus will improve with age.

Don’t be scared to quit when things really are not working. Not doing a perfect job on the homework once in a while is not the end of the world. If it comes to a choice between quitting for the moment or screaming and yelling at your kids through the task, choose love and call it quits.

And finally, hang in there. It’s all going to be OK.

The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents

Take a moment to consider your child’s behavior.

• How does it compare to other children? Either their siblings or a number of other kids of a similar age? (Try to compare them with a range of other kids – rather than one or two)
• Does your child seem to have age-appropriate behavior and focus? If you’re concerned, do you need to seek help?
• How can you start breaking down big tasks into manageable (snack-sized) sections?
• Is your child able to focus on things they like doing? Can you use that in your favor?
• Are your kids distracted by things that could be controlled?
• What strategies can you put in place to keep your kids focus?

The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents

• Brainstorm some roles that you can use to elicit certain behavior. If you need your child to be quiet and still for a few minutes, what can they pretend to be? A King or Queen on a throne? A soldier on guard? Good posture during homework is a good idea, but if the only way to get your child to do it without a fuss is to let them pretend to sit on a throne or stand in attention, go for it!
• Think back over the things that your child struggles to focus on. How can you get them to use self-management techniques to improve?
• If it seems impossible to get your child to focus and pay attention ask yourself this: “If it were possible, how would it be achieved?” Make some notes.
• Take a moment to check out why Tools of the Mind works so well and think about how you might use their strategies at home.

About Cate Scolnik

Cate is on a mission to help parents stop yelling and create families that listen to each other. She does this while imperfectly parenting two boisterous girls of her own and learning from her mistakes. Download her free Cheat Sheet to Get Your Kids from "No" to "Yes" in Three Simple Steps and reduce your yelling today.

May 16, 2016 at 6:21 am

This is a great article and there is some mention of it but I feel it has to be emphasized- that no homework should ever trump connection with your child. If homework struggles are causing you to butt heads time to re-think! Your child needs you in their side ALWAYS, there have long difficult days in School where social interactions and the system challenge their resources all day long. The need to come home to an ally. Here in Canada we are seeing tons of research that shows that homework before high school produces little increase in assessment scores – I imagine education philosophy will move toward reducing or almost eliminating primary homework! So don’t sacrifice your living connected relationship at home iver homework

May 16, 2016 at 2:35 pm

Totally agree with you on the point that “no homework should ever trump connection with your child”, Kim.

I’ve read some of the research about homework, but I’m not entirely convinced. To me, even if homework does little to increase assessment scores, it builds the habit and discipline of getting things done on your own outside the classroom… So IMO there is some merit to it. The question for me is more of how to teach our kids to focus and build this habit in a kind and gentle manner without butting heads…

May 16, 2016 at 11:29 pm

You’re right that we shouldn’t let homework damage relationships. I’m fortunate that our school has homework as an optional thing, but we do opt in. Like Sumitha, I think it’s more about getting a routine established.

Thanks for your comment. 😉

May 10, 2017 at 3:50 pm

Agree with #Cate. I asked school to increase the home work for my daughter to help her develop the habit of focus, responsibility, self – discipline and also prepare them for high school where they should not get shocked with the name of home work thinking it as a monster.

Apart from this, these tips are life saving and work word by word. Thank you so much for sharing and I liked these so much that I shared the page with my facebook friends.

May 16, 2016 at 1:35 pm

My child’s PRE-SCHOOL had homework. It was age-appropriate (“Color the baby chicks yellow”) but surprise, surprise–my daughter didn’t want to do it. She wanted to run around the playground and then jump on the sofa. I mentioned this to another parent (of a typically developing child) and she said, “Oh, we don’t do the homework. It’s not developmentally appropriate at this age.” Boy, did my life improve when I followed her advice and ignored the homework! I told the school, nicely, that I got home from work too late in the evening to do homework. And that was the end of it! Now, in elementary school, we don’t do the homework every night. It is BORING (math worksheets) and turns her off to everything related to school!

May 16, 2016 at 2:42 pm

Wendy, homework in preschool is probably pushing it too much… but as kids grow older, I do believe there is some merit to homework in terms of building habits and discipline of doing things on your own outside the classroom and being accountable for something that is assigned to you.

I personally feel that telling kids you don’t have to do something because it is boring sends the wrong message (listening to any grownup is boring for a kid… so if they can skip doing homework because it is boring, why not also skip listening to what grownups tell them?) To me, building the habits of accountability and sticking to a task even if it is sometimes boring and learning tricks to focus even when you sometimes don’t want to are important life skills… Homework is one of the ways to do this, and I would rather look for kind and gentle ways to do this than give up on homework entirely.

May 16, 2016 at 7:49 pm

I don’t believe in most homework and glad it’s not generally a part of Montessori. At my kids’ school they don’t start handing out homework until 4th grade, and even then it’s a packet they have all week to complete so they can choose their own pace for finishing it. I like that no homework leaves time for other things like piano and violin and volleyball and Latin, not to mention the chance for my kids to help me cook, etc. When my oldest got to the adolescent program and we started to struggle with homework, we realized in her case the best approach was to back off and leave her to fail or succeed on her own. I think for many children there is much more value in unstructured time to play and explore. They have to be disciplined at school all day. I don’t see why they have to extend that into home time. I love watching my kids come up with their own projects which are often far more interesting than anything a teacher would send home as an assignment. Most homework is busy work. Life is too short for that.

May 16, 2016 at 9:20 pm

If the homework was long and unending, I would likely agree with you (at least to a certain extent ;)), Korinthia. Fortunately, my daughter’s home work assignments usually take just 10 – 15 minutes which she actually finishes up in school. It is busy work, but it reinforces the facts that she has learnt that day in school. Her teacher’s take is that it helps her gauge if the kids are grasping what they learn, and lets her know if she should repeat any concepts or slow down the pace etc. I love that idea of using homework (and tests) as a feedback loop. Her school also specifically tells parent not to get involved unless the child asks for clarifications. This also helps the homework serve as a mini-token of responsibility and self-management… which is all good in my book.

I love how every time this discussion comes up, we come at it from such opposite perspectives 🙂

May 16, 2016 at 10:14 pm

I think one of the trickiest things in parenting is realizing people can do the opposite of what you do and still not be wrong. We’re all so vulnerable in this area that people get defensive fast! I love that you are so thoughtful with every response, and that there is more than one way to be right. And I keep coming back here because I feel it’s a safe place to voice a different perspective without people taking it as a challenge to their own parenting decisions. That’s a rare and wonderful thing and you should be proud of this site. (For that and many reasons!)

May 16, 2016 at 10:23 pm

Thanks, Korinthia. I needed to hear that today (for a reason unrelated to this site and the comments here). And of course I lapped up the compliments about the site too. I never tire of that 🙂

And you stretch my thinking more than anyone I know and I learnt a lot about writing responses from studying your responses… so thanks right back at ya!

May 16, 2016 at 11:35 pm

Hi Korintha,

You’re right that we can use homework as a valuable learning experience. For years my older daughter (now 11) has ‘hoped’ for straight As, but hasn’t achieved them. She’s getting better for years she did the bare minimum with homework, and did it rather … messily too! While I don’t push her too much, I do make the point that A grades are the result of hard work. They’re achievable for anyone who puts in the effort – including her. But getting As means you’ve done the best you possible can, almost all the time.

It doesn’t stop her hoping every time her report comes home, but she knows she can set goals and strive to meet them (they’re just usually in non-academic areas!).

Anyway, your point about homework being a mutli-faceted learning opportunity is a great one. 😉

May 17, 2016 at 7:27 am

Grades are a weird measure of things, though, because they aren’t universal. Does getting an A mean it’s the best you as an individual can do, even if it’s not great? Does getting an A mean there is some objective level of excellence that few people can reach? Does getting an A mean the grade was on a curve and you are simply the best in this particular crowd? A’s on a single report card can mean all of those things or none of them.

I remember in college I was upset one semester because my perfect 4.0 was marred by a B in tennis which I was simply taking for fun. I felt I should get an A for showing up and doing my best every time. Apparently the teacher had a different measure. And how do you grade music (which was my major)? One person can play every note perfectly and leave you feeling cold with their performance, and another can make mistakes but be electrifying. In orchestra it was pure participation–you started with an A and every class you missed you went down one letter grade. The A says nothing about if you did well or even improved. (You could get worse and still get an A.) When I was in 6th grade I used to alternate between A’s and failing grades in reading based on if I handed in the book reports. Those grades said nothing about my reading ability.

Grades do say something, but I’m skeptical about what. And every time I get worried about grades I remember my grandma telling me that nobody ever asked her her GPA once she graduated. No one has ever asked me mine, either. People only care what I can actually do, and that I try to prove every day, and that’s what I tell my kids to aim for. They may or may not get the grades they deserve to reflect that, but they need to mentally grade themselves to stay honest.

May 20, 2016 at 8:19 pm

Your points are spot on, as always. Grades are an arbitrary measure.

I think it’s far more important that my daughter is satisfied that she’s done her best, and that she’s proud of her efforts. Having said that, I do think it’s useful to learn that you can set goals and strive towards them.

Arbitrary or not, we spend most of our lives being assessed. Either at school or university or in the workplace. It’s usually one person’s opinion of certain traits or activities, and it’s often arbitrary.

Whilst I’ve certainly been the victim of a manager who’s had their own agenda – and rated me accordingly – I think that’s the exception. I also think it’s important that my kids feel that they have some control over the assessment. If they put in greater time and effort, they will usually get greater results.

It’s important to know that grades and assessments are only one person’s opinion and that they may be flawed. That is, we need to keep it in perspective. But given we’ll have these assessments throughout our lives, we need to learn to feel we have some control over them and we need to learn how to handle them. How to digest them, how to cope with them, and how to use them too.

It’s a complicated, complex, multi-faceted issue! And I certainly appreciate your perspective. Thanks for commenting 😉

May 17, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Thanks for this article! We are in our last week of kindergarten homework before the summer hits. That first sentence! So funny and spot on. Like “where are you going sit back down!” I find my self saying frequently. My son gets a packet of homework on Monday that he has to complete and turn in by Friday. I like the idea of using the timer! I’m not sure about play before homework.. I see the need for a break. My issue is that after eating and a play break its already so late then he’s not focused because he’s just getting tired. Also other than getting a 5 year old to focus on homework is doing the homework correctly. He will speed through it sometimes brag about how many pages he completed but he sometimes just writes down whatever to make it look like its complete! This has been driving me crazy, I have to erase so much! I’m trying to find the balance between getting him to work independently and me sitting there for every question. They do homework time in after school too and this is also when he makes it look like he’s doing homework and sometimes just draws pictures on the back of his homework pages. I think the amount of homework for kindergarten is a bit much, but I don’t think that not doing it is an option. I want to encourage him and be proud of him for completing his homework and also try to only let him play on the tablet after the whole packet is done… which also kinda leads to him speeding through it. Ugh and this is just year ONE! OMG!

May 18, 2016 at 3:57 am

Hi Amber, You’re right – you need to find what works for you. And if your kids are in after school care, it’s a bit too late to get them to concentrate when you get home. When I get my kids home it’s nearly 6pm, and there’s no way I can get them to focus on homework.

I’m lucky that I have two days a week where I don’t work late, so they are our ‘homework days’. The other option for us is to do a few minutes in the morning, before school, when the girls are fresh. Of course, this depends on what mornings look like in your house.

You say you want to be proud of him, but it’s also important that he’s proud of himself. That’s why I often ask my girls if they’re proud of their homework. It’s a great technique to get them to reflect on their efforts. 🙂

January 23, 2018 at 9:41 pm

Thanks for the tips for getting kids to do homework better. My son struggles with math, and he never wants to do his homework. I really like your idea to set a timer. That way, he knows exactly how long he needs to work before he can take a break to play. We will definitely give this a try.

April 7, 2018 at 9:49 am

Yes!! I totally agree with Korinthia! I have 5 kids from high school to a 2 yr. Old and it frustrates us as a family when we cannot take a walk, go out and play, or do any sports or extracurricular activity or even help with dinner because they have so much homework! How can kids get their 60 min. Of physical activity or eat healthier or spend time with family if we barely have time to eat a rushed meal to do homework? Including on weekends and vacation!

July 16, 2018 at 6:07 am

Homework is one word that makes every school child – and many parents – cringe. Follow these handy tips, and soon, homework related tension will become a thing of the past. https://www.parentcircle.com/article/exclusive-tips-to-make-homework-easy-for-your-child/

August 8, 2018 at 3:21 am

Awesome post!!! Homework is very important for students to get great results in academic. It is also essential to complete your homework on time. Thanks for sharing this information.

September 4, 2018 at 12:25 am

Good tips and very informative. Homework is a very important thing to get good grades n academic. Today, Focus on Homework is very essential. So, Students must do homework on time.

June 24, 2019 at 6:52 pm

October 15, 2019 at 7:55 am

It’s really useful tips for many parents and their kids. I think that right focus on homework is an important part to stay productive for a whole year in school.

January 7, 2020 at 11:13 am

Learning to focus is extremely important especially with the distractions that surrounds us in today’s world. Your article has been tremendously helpful and I am grateful so Thank you for sharing .

September 30, 2020 at 5:13 am

Nice!! I agree with the fine parent/this website.I tried all of them and almost all of them worked.Keep it up.👍👌👋

January 14, 2022 at 6:55 am

Nice tips, I’ll be sure to remember them. So I can try them out when I become a parent. Or I could just tell some parents around me.

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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
• Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
• Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

• Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
• Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
• Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
• Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
• Remembering to bring finished homework to class
• Being in class long enough to know the material
• Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
• Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
• Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
• Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

• Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
• If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
• Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

• Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
• Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
• Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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7 Ways to Help Your Child Overcome Focus Issues

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re concerned about your child’s focus. It’s not always easy to tell when a child is struggling with focus issues or if there is a different issue that affects their focus. Whatever your situation, here are seven ways that you can help your child overcome these issues and improve their focus!

Focus is something that children practice and learn at different rates. While some children seem more naturally able to focus, others tend to struggle a lot more. If your child is having trouble focusing, it’s important to understand that this is normal and there are ways to help!

1. Check In With A Professional

According to the CDC, approximately 11% of children between the ages of 4 and 17 have been diagnosed with ADHD. While this number may seem high, it’s important to remember that not all children who struggle with focus have ADHD. But checking in with a professional about your child’s focus issues is important, because early intervention leads to much better outcomes. If medication is recommended for your child, bear in mind there is genetic testing for ADHD medications to ensure you find a good fit for your child’s specific genetic profile.

2. Routine, Routine, Routine

One of the best ways to help a child with focus issues is to establish a routine. Having set times for homework, meals, and activities can help your child know what to expect and when. This can help minimize distractions and make it easier for them to focus on what they need to do.

Another way to help your child focus is to establish routines for specific tasks. For example, you might have a rule that your child has to sit at the kitchen table to do homework. Or, you might require that they put away all electronics 30 minutes before bedtime.

Routines can be helpful for children with focus issues, but they need to be flexible too. If a routine isn’t working, don’t be afraid to change it. The most important thing is that you find what works best for your child.

3. Break Down Tasks Into Smaller Steps

One of the best ways to help a child with focus issues is to break down tasks into smaller steps. For example, if your child is struggling to focus on homework, help them break the task down into smaller pieces.

You can also use this strategy for other tasks, like getting ready for bed or cleaning up their room. Breaking tasks down into smaller steps can help your child feel less overwhelmed and make it easier for them to focus.

It’s also important to remember that some children need more time to complete tasks than others. If your child is struggling to focus, give them a few extra minutes to finish tasks. This can help reduce stress and make it easier for them to focus.

4. Do Activities to Practice Focus

There are many activities that you can do with your child to help them practice focus . One activity that is popular with children is using a hula hoop.

To play this game, start by having your child stand in the middle of the hula hoop. Then, have them focus on one object in the room and try to keep their eyes on it while they spin around. As they get better at this game, you can make it more challenging by moving the object around or adding more hula hoops.

Other activities that can help your child practice focus include Simon Says, puzzles, and coloring.

Doing activities to practice focus can help your child learn how to better direct their attention. These activities can also be a fun way to bond with your child and spend time together.

5. Get Rid of Distractions

Another way to help your child focus is to get rid of distractions. This means creating a space that is free from noise and other distractions.

If your child is struggling to focus at home, try creating a quiet space for them to work in. This might be a spot in their room or a place at the kitchen table.

You can also help your child focus by reducing distractions when you’re out and about. For example, you can turn off your child’s phone or have them wear noise-cancelling headphones.

Getting rid of distractions can be a challenge, but it’s important to create an environment that is conducive to focus.

6. Use Visual Aids

Visual aids can be a helpful tool for children with focus issues. For example, you can use a visual schedule to help your child know what to expect throughout the day.

You can also use visual aids to help your child focus on specific tasks. For example, you can use a picture of a calm scene to help your child relax when they’re feeling overwhelmed.

Visual aids can be helpful for children with focus issues, but it’s important to find what works best for your child. Some children respond well to visual aids, while others might find them distracting.

7. Be Patient

It’s important to be patient when dealing with focus issues in your child. This is a process that takes time and there will be setbacks.

If you’re patient and consistent, you will help your child learn how to better focus. This can be a difficult process, but it’s important to remember that every child is different and what works for one child might not work for another.

While it’s normal for children to struggle with focus from time to time, there are things that you can do to help your child overcome these issues. By using some of these strategies, you can help your child learn how to better focus and make the most of each day.

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5 ways to help your child focus (based on science!)

by: Carol Lloyd | Updated: October 6, 2022

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Many young children have trouble sitting still and staying focused. Even older kids can sometimes struggle after a long day at school. If you’re having trouble getting your child to start their homework or stay focused at school, try these tips.

Here are some ways to help your child settle down and concentrate:

Get the ya-yas out first (aka exercise), turn off screens and cell phones, make a to-do list, use signals, take breaks., homes nearby.

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Evidence-based parenting tips and resources

What to do when your child can’t concentrate

July 17, 2023 by Sanya Pelini, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Some of the products recommended here are affiliate links. This means that buying these products helps support this blog at no extra cost to you. Please read the  disclosure  for more details.

Science says that the ability to concentrate can determine the kind of future that our kids will have. It says that concentration can mean the difference between a life of achievement, and one of struggle and underachievement. But what do you do when your child can’t concentrate?

More importantly, are there simple things that you can do at home to reduce children’s distraction and increase their focus? In other words, can a child who can’t concentrate be taught to focus on the present moment?

Although dealing with a child who can’t concentrate can feel like walking a tight rope, we now know that there are simple strategies that can help improve children’s focus and concentration.

This article shares some of the reasons that may explain why your child can’t focus and proposes simple activities that you can do at home to help them reinforce their concentration skills. 

Why do some children find it hard to concentrate?

• Does doing homework always take forever?
• Would your child win a “Daydreamers award”?
• Are they restless?
• Do they have a terribly hard time staying focused on tasks?
• Are they always forgetting things such as what they were doing, the instructions they are expected to follow, or even where they left their stuff?
• Do they have a hard time following directions because of their inattentiveness?
• Are they restless or fidgety?
• Are they easily frustrated by having to do tasks that require them to remain attentive?

If your child can’t focus, you are probably quite familiar with one or several of the scenarios above. But where does their lack of focus and concentration come from?

Experts say that concentration is one of those things that children develop as they grow older. In other words, they say that lack of concentration in children is normal and gets better as your child grows older and develops skills such as self-regulation and self-control.

While views vary, many experts suggest that children can remain attentive for two to three minutes per year of age before losing focus.

This means that while a 2-year-old can remain focused on a task for between four to six minutes, à 10-year-old can concentrate on a task for between 20 to 30 minutes. So the first reason that can help explain why your child can’t focus is age- or development-related.

Other reasons that explain lack of concentration in children include:

• Sedentary behavior – science says that kids who participate in regular physical exercise have higher levels of concentration.
• Fatigue – concentration levels drop if your child has too many activities. Also, not getting sufficient rest may explain why your child can’t concentrate.
• Skipping breakfast – Science [1] says that both children and adolescents who skip breakfast are more likely to have poor academic results and are also more likely to display low levels of concentration.
• Distractions – distractions are among the most common causes of inattention in children.
• Learning disorders – learning disorders such as ADHD may explain why your child is having a hard time paying attention.

A parent whose child has trouble with focus worries because poor concentration affects both academic and behavioral outcomes.

How poor concentration affects your child’s behavior

Poor concentration has a negative impact on your child’s behavior. It is often associated with impulsivity , restlessness and poor organization.

Lack of focus also has a negative impact on your child’s academic performance. Lack of concentration means that your child will find it difficult to understand and follow instructions, which means that they will find it difficult to complete assignments and may therefore more easily fall behind.

A child who can’t concentrate will also have a difficult time undertaking activities that require sustained effort and may struggle to perfect any activities that require practice.

The good news is that several activities can help improve your child’s ability to resist distractions and to pay more attention to the tasks at hand.

Here are a few tips that may help when your child has trouble with focus.

What to do when your child can’t concentrate

Like many other skills, children can learn to concentrate by practicing activities that help them to work on their focus and concentration skills.

Here are five simple tips that you can try to increase your child’s concentration.

1) Identify and eliminate the triggers

Did you know that the most effective way to deal with poor behavior is to understand the reasons driving that behavior and then to work on those reasons?

The same is true if your child can’t focus. In other words, identifying the reasons behind their behavior – fatigue, easily distracted by videogames/toys/siblings/friends, skipping breakfast, insufficient time spent outdoors – and then addressing them is one of the easiest ways to deal with their lack of attention.

2) Propose activities that reinforce concentration

Certain games and activities are concentration boosters. Age-appropriate games that focus on the development of children’s executive function skills are the most appropriate because they teach more than just focus and concentration.

Such games teach kids about understanding and following instructions, hand-eye coordination, sifting through information and picking what they require to solve a problem, working on their memory skills, visual discrimination skills, attention to detail, and much more.

3) Privilege games that focus on increasing attention

Several researchers [2] working on improving children’s self-regulation and focus skills found that certain games such as “Simon says” are great for kids because they force them to pay attention to what is said, to remember that information, and to use it to take action.

Another great game that your kid will love – and which is also good for their concentration – is the “Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders” game.

Instead of the traditional “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes song”, kids are expected to do the opposite of what they are told (for example touch their toes when they are asked to touch their head).

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Evidence-backed Tips to Teach Kids Focus and Concentration

4) Use fidget toys

Children who are “busy fidgeting” may find it harder to pay attention. That’s why fidget tools are often used to distract such kids by keeping their hands busy and therefore allowing them to focus on something else.

Although fidget toys can be great for kids who can’t concentrate, it is important to avoid trends and to choose appropriate fidget tools depending on your child’s fidgeting behavior.

Also, fidget toys aren’t the best choice for all kids: they work with the kids who really need them, but can actually increase the lack of concentration among the kids who don’t.

Choosing the best fidget toys for your child can be difficult given all the fidgets out there today. I am personally a big fan of discrete fidget toys that can be taken everywhere and have actually used some in the past to help my daughter deal with her anxiety.

Our favorite fidget toys include focusing putty ,  Marble Fidgets , Smiley stretchy men and  Squishy balls  because of their size which means that your child can take them absolutely everywhere! These are great options for keeping your child’s hands busy.

If your child has “fidgety feet”, you might want to check out these fidget band s that can be attached to their chair or desk.

The thing with fidget toys is that you may have to try out several of them to determine what works best for your child – or if fidget toys work at all!

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Toys for focus: How to use them to strengthen your child’s focus and concentration

When should you worry if your child has trouble with focus ?

It can be worrying if your child seems easily distracted and unable to concentrate, but it is important to remember that many kids experience difficulty concentrating at one point or another.

That said, lack of focus and concentration may be a sign of a learning difficulty and it is important to speak with a qualified professional if you notice any extreme and lasting behavior in your child – chronic inattentiveness, extremely poor organizational skills, complete inability to remain focused, chronic and extreme forgetfulness, and so on.

A professional will help point you in the right direction.

Last thoughts if your child can’t focus

It is normal to worry when your child can’t focus, but it is also important to propose activities to help your child work on their concentration skills.

Any games and activities that can help them learn to store and retrieve information is great for strengthening their focus and concentration skills.

Encouraging them to plan their activities by themselves is also an easy way to help them improve their autonomy as well as a host of many other skills such as focus and concentration, critical thinking, visual discrimination, and so on. The printable resources proposed here can help your child strengthen these skills and much more.

How to help your child focus naturally

How to improve children’s concentration and focus

Scientific references

[1] The effects of breakfast on behavior and academic performance in children and adolescents

[2] Predictors of early growth in academic achievement: the head-toes-knees-shoulders task

About Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

Sanya Pelini holds a Ph.D. in Education. Her work has been published on Motherly, ParentMap, The Goffman Institute and Psych Central, among others. She lives in the south of France with her husband and three children.

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How to Focus on Homework and Actually Get Things Done: 12 Hacks for Busy Students

• September 15, 2022

Chances are, you’ve had some days when you felt overwhelmed after a long day at school. You couldn’t imagine doing anything other than plopping down in front of the television, let alone finding out how to focus on your homework. 

How can you overcome the resistance and get it done? How do you get your mind to include this task in your day as well?

With just a few adjustments, you will be able to expand your capacity to concentrate.

Why Can’t I Focus on My Homework?

Countless factors constantly fight for your attention : social media, people, overthinking, and anxiety. All of this can make you feel as though you have little control over your mind. 

If you want to start to focus better on your homework, you’ll need to set your mind up for success. Remove all distractions .

Here are two key principles that can help you be more successful in your studies:

1. Identify the distractions in your surroundings

What are the things in your daily life that take your mind away from your studies? Clearly identifying these distractions can help you understand both the problem and what causes it.

Among our environmental distractions, digital distractions are one of the worst kinds, and according to a number of studies , their effect is on the rise in the classroom.

If you’re looking to gain more concentration and, thus, form better study habits, question your online behavior first and foremost.

2. Limit the use of technology to find focus

What’s the role of social media in your daily life? Have you ever sat down to calculate how social media distracts you from doing the things you should be doing?

When you are wondering how to focus on homework long after you’ve put your phone away, you’re still thinking about the last posts you saw on Instagram. The sound of new notifications can be enough to reroute our attention from the task at hand.

And then comes the information overload, the fear of missing out, and the all-too-common signs of addictive behavior. Technology is affecting your mind more than ever, and it’s taking your focus away.

How to Focus on Homework: 12 Things You Can Do to Be More Indistractible

Here are 12 tips on how to stay focused while completing your homework, taught by superbrain coach Jim Kwik and habit transformation expert Nir Eyal .

• Make a routine
• Set up a study-friendly environment
• Avoid heavy meals
• Organize your study notes
• Tell others to stay away
• Listen to study music
• Set deadlines
• Take brain breaks
• Use discomfort as motivation for productivity
• Use time blocking
• Let go of thoughts that distract you
• Reimagine your task

Let’s look at each study hack in more detail.

1. Make a routine

Routines help you be productive without exerting as much effort. When you have homework to do, a study routine can be the reason you actually sit down, set enough time aside, concentrate, and stay focused until you complete the project.

This process doesn’t need to be complicated: just tell yourself that you will sit at your desk at home once you’re back from school. Put your phone on silent, make an outline of the work that needs to get done, and simply begin with what’s most important.

2. Set up a study-friendly environment

A place for everything and everything in its place. That applies to studying, too.

Lying in bed with your notebook is considered a distraction, as is being in the living room with your laptop while others are doing their activities.

You need an isolated place when you decide to focus on your homework. Make it feel comfortable, keep it organized, keep it clean, and consider putting up some motivational posters or positive affirmations .

3. Avoid heavy meals

It’s not advisable to have a big meal beforehand. Big meals can ruin your focus and make you feel sluggish and lazy because it takes a big amount of time and energy for your body to digest. A snack is okay.

There are also some foods , though, that are just plain bad for your productivity. For example, soda, candy, and fried foods are all full of sugar and have no nutritional value. They make your insulin spike up, but then it crashes very fast, which makes you feel depleted of energy.

4. Organize your study notes

Prioritize your work. Keep lists and place the most important items on top. Then work on the items that you should get done first.

It helps to outline what you need to do, breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps. Use colors to highlight the essentials . 

This makes it all look much simpler and you’re more likely to actually get started. The brain loves organization and it won’t be so likely to procrastinate when it knows you have a structure set in place.

5. Tell others to stay away

Don’t be afraid to let others know that you’re studying and require some time and space to get your work done. Decide on fixed hours for studying and tell your friends and family members that you won’t be available during that time of the day.

If others respect your study time, you’ll be more inclined to respect it as well. 

6. Listen to study music

There are many tracks out there designed to help your mind focus. Whether you use binaural beats or just instrumental music, the right sounds can really help to tune your brain into a productive frequency.

This meditation is also great to listen to; it puts your mind in a clear, concise, and ready-to-take-on-the-world mode:

7. Set deadlines

Even if your teacher has already given you deadlines for each assignment, set new ones yourself at earlier dates.

This helps you build discipline, learn how to focus on studying, and prioritize every day.

8. Take brain breaks

Frequent breaks actually increase your productivity and focus. You’ll see that after each study session, the brain needs to be engaged with something different —  you need to activate other parts of your brain before going back to your studies so that you can reach top performance.

You can also use the Superbrain Yoga Technique. In the Superbrain Quest, Jim talks about implementing it during your breaks. It goes as follows:

• Massage the left lobe of your ear with your right hand, and the right one with your left hand
• Inhale and squat down
• Exhale and come back up while continuing massaging your opposite ear with the opposite hand
• Keep going for a few minutes

As your body moves, your brain grooves. — Jim Kwik, trainer of Mindvalley’s Superbrain Quest

9. Use discomfort as motivation for productivity

The brain is wired to protect us from danger, and our ancestors needed this function of the psyche to survive. Discomfort is associated with danger, and whenever they felt it, they knew it was time to run away or protect themselves in one way or another.

In today’s world, danger isn’t so imminent. However, discomfort is, and the brain still works to protect us in the same way. 

So why not use it to your advantage?

Once you have this mindset shift, you can see the discomfort that comes with doing your homework as fuel for moving forward, from pain to pleasure. So instead of procrastinating and avoiding the discomfort, just use it as motivation to get things done.

And maybe you can even save yourself a fun activity to do later in the day, so you have something to look forward to.

10. Use time blocking

You can use time blocking and set a specific amount of time for parts of your homework that needs to be done. For example, you block 30 minutes of reading, then another 30 minutes of writing down highlights from the text. 

This method will give you more structure and support you when you need to focus on school work, as you will have a dedicated structured time to do so.

11. Let go of thoughts that distract you

When you need more concentration, but your thoughts keep getting in the way, here’s a fun visualization exercise you can use:

• Before you start working on your homework, close down your eyes and imagine a flowing river in front of you. 
• Now, place every thought on a leaf and let it run down the river while watching it move away from you. 

Do this repeatedly for 5-10 minutes and see how your mind becomes clearer, more productive, and more inspired.

12. Reimagine your task

How can you make the process of doing your homework more fun? Is there any way you can think of to make it more exciting and engaging?

As you introduce play and fun into any task, your capacity to stay focused will increase. So just try out different methods to engage more in your homework. 

For example, what if you made a trivia quest about your history lesson homework? Or what about riddles to make you remember all the characters from the novel you have to read? 

Once you play around with these kinds of games, you might find that focusing on your homework isn’t as boring as you thought it would be.

Unleash the Power of Your Focus

Discovering how to focus on your homework can go beyond schoolwork and actually support you in many other activities you want to do. Concentration is one of the best skills to nurture for your growth.

If you need a little guidance at the beginning of your focusing journey, Mindvalley has it in store for you. 

By unlocking your FREE Mindvalley access , you can check out sample classes from quests that help you develop better focus and study habits, such as Becoming Focused and Indistractable by Nir Eyal and Superbrain by Jim Kwik. You can also immerse yourself in beautiful sounds and guided meditations designed to improve concentration and help you enter the flow state.

The earlier you start, the greater your journey of self-discovery will be. Welcome in.

— Images generated on Midjourney.

Recommended Free Masterclass For You

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Join the foremost expert in memory improvement and brain performance, Jim Kwik, in a free masterclass that will dive into the one skill you will ever need — learning how to learn Reserve My Free Spot Now

Alexandra Tudor

Jim Kwik is the trainer of Mindvalley’s Superbrain and Super Reading quests. He’s a brain coach and a world expert in speed reading, memory improvement, and optimal brain performance. Known as the “boy with the broken brain” due to a childhood injury, Jim discovered strategies to dramatically enhance his mental performance. He is now committed to helping people improve their memory, learn to speed-read, increase their decision-making skills, and turn on their superbrain. He has shared his techniques with Hollywood actors, Fortune 500 companies, and trailblazing entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and Richard Branson to reach their highest level of mental performance. He is also one of the most sought-after trainers for top organizations like Harvard University, Nike, Virgin, and GE.

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Five tips to get kids to focus on homework

When my daughter began the routines of first grade and its attendant homework assignments last fall, my husband and I girded ourselves for this new thing to work into our scrambled evenings. Assigned on Monday, due back on Friday, supposed to be completed by doing 10 minutes a night. Reasonable enough, right?

We celebrated her efforts and her commitment to homework, for, after all, she’s being raised in the era of “ NurtureShock .” But as the weeks went on, I was feeling increasingly inept at steering her back on track when she started doodling or lying down on her chair. When sitting still was the last thing she wanted to do after a day cooped up inside. When her little sister was noisily, happily, inviting her to build a fort.

There had to be a better way than this tug-of-war that frustrated everyone. So I talked with a few teachers, study-skills educators and a school counselor, and I asked them how to get an elementary school-age kid to focus on her homework (and maybe her piano practice, too). Here’s what they said:

1) Talk to the teacher . Huh? My daughter was getting her homework done, so why bug the teacher, I thought. However, if things are always turned in on time and correct, the teacher won’t know how long it really takes and how challenging it is for kids, says Amy McCready, the founder of  PositiveParentingSolutions.com . Ask teachers: How long should homework take? (And let them know how long it’s taking your child.) What is the goal of homework? Is it “completion, learning, grading, a hoop to jump through?” asks Mark Wallace, who teaches third through fifth graders at Highlands Elementary in Edina, Minn. Is it okay for parents to check homework so that kids can fix any mistakes before turning it in, or do teachers want to see those mistakes so they can get an accurate sense of how well kids are understanding the lesson? If your above-grade-level kid breezes through five math problems, does she really need to do all of them? Finally, be clear with the teacher that in your house …

2) … Your kid’s homework is her responsibility, not the parents’ responsibility . This one took me a little bit to buy into. It’s a big leap of faith to let kids choose how to manage their time, and to allow them to face the consequences if they don’t. The corollary is establishing the new ground rules for how you help up front so you can support them while letting them work independently. McCready coached me through making this change: “Sit down ahead of time and talk about the assignment: ‘How do you think you’ll go about answering these questions?’ Then you can say, ‘Sounds like you’re on the right track,’” leave them to work uninterrupted and then check their work when they’re done. McCready also recommends being clear about your boundaries, for example, “I am available to help you after dinner from 6:30 to 8 p.m.. After that, the help desk is closed,” and reminding them that help desk hours and bedtime don’t get extended just because they didn’t get their work done yet. If getting started is the biggest hurdle, “start out by giving them a choice,” suggests Susan Kruger, the president of SOAR Learning , a study skills company based in Lake Orion, Mich. “‘Would you like to do it now or in 10 minutes from now?’… It puts them in a position of feeling they have some say, and that goes a long way of getting cooperation with homework.”

3) Set a timer … and take a break. Time management is hard, especially for kids who are just learning to tell time. Many of the experts I spoke with encouraged using timers. McCready likes ones that help kids visualize how much time is left, such as Timetimer . You can use timers for the scenario Kruger describes. “When you work in small increments — uninterrupted focused time, with breaks in between — you’re able to get more done,” says Zac Stowell, a fifth grade teacher at Northgate Elementary in Seattle. Breaks might include a snack, but ones with physical activity are good, too: a set of jumping jacks, a walk up the street, running up and down the stairs. And if the break is dragging on too long, Stowell says, “you let them know, ‘The more we extend it, the less time we have to do other fun stuff.’”

4) It’s okay to fail. Homework anxiety affects kids and parents, and so does this mantra. “Early elementary school, that’s a really safe time to fail,” says Wallace. If kids don’t get their homework done, he says, “I’d like them to walk in and say, ‘Here’s my plan for finishing it, and here’s my plan for next week.’” There may be all kinds of things you’d like kids to improve upon when you’re looking at their homework, from not bringing it home all crumpled to using capital letters, punctuation and proper spelling, he says. “I always tell parents, ‘Pick one thing that you’re going to go after that night.’” When kids feel overwhelmed by criticism, they tend to shut down, just like adults. To boost their spirits when they get into the “I’ll never get it/I’m no good/It’s too hard” doldrums, point out all the things they used to find hard that are now easy, such as tying their shoes, says Gerry Rice, a Suzuki violin and viola teacher in Haddonfield, N.J.

5) Get help. If homework is still a struggle or taking longer than the teacher expects, get an outside perspective and find out what’s going on. “You can get a neighbor kid who’s four or more years older who can sit down with them to do homework” or swap kids with a neighbor, Kruger says. In other cases, she says, consider a tutor or other professional to uncover what’s behind some learning challenges. Kids are all different, and so are their optimal learning styles and study environments, and parents can help by shaping homework settings to meet their needs. As you’re feeling your way, remember, “we want our students to make mistakes,” Kruger says. “It’s the only way they’re going to be able to innovate and adapt to the world and the way the world changes.”

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Learning disorders: Know the signs, how to help

Learning disorders can make it hard for a child to read, write or do simple math. Know the symptoms and find out what you can do.

It can be hard to figure out that a child has a learning disorder. Some children have learning disorders for a long time before they are diagnosed. These children can have such a hard time in school that their self-esteem and drive to succeed goes down.

That's why it's a good idea for parents to know the symptoms of learning disorders. The sooner you spot the symptoms, the faster you can help your child succeed.

What is a learning disorder?

A learning disorder is present when the brain takes in and works with information in a way that is not typical. It keeps a person from learning a skill and using it well. People with learning disorders by and large have average or above-average intelligence. So, there's a gap between their expected skills, based on age and intelligence, and how they do in school.

Common learning disorders affect a child's ability to:

• Use or understand language.
• Learn other skills that don't involve words.

Reading is based on understanding speech. Learning disorders with reading often are based on a child's trouble understanding a spoken word as a mix of distinct sounds. This can make it hard to understand how a letter or letters represent a sound and how letters make a word.

Problems with short-term memory, also called working memory, can play a role.

Even when basic reading skills are mastered, children may have trouble with the following skills:

• Reading at a typical pace.
• Understanding what they read.
• Recalling correctly what they read.
• Making conclusions based on their reading.

One of the most common types of learning disorders is a reading disorder called dyslexia. It causes you to have trouble picking out different speech sounds in words and learning how letters relate to those sounds.

Writing requires complex skills that involve vision, movement and the ability to process information. A learning disorder in writing, also called dysgraphia, may cause the following:

• Slow handwriting that takes a lot of work.
• Trouble recalling how to form letters, copy shapes and draw lines.
• Handwriting that's hard to read.
• Trouble putting thoughts into writing.
• Written text that's poorly organized or hard to understand.
• Trouble with spelling, grammar and punctuation.

A learning disorder in math, also called dyscalculia, may cause problems with the following skills:

• Understanding how numbers work and relate to each other.
• Doing math problems.
• Learning basic math rules.
• Using math symbols.
• Understanding word problems.
• Organizing and recording information while solving a math problem.

Speech and Language

Children with speech and language disorders can have trouble using and understanding spoken or written words. They may have trouble:

• Reading and writing.
• Doing math word problems.
• Following directions.
• Answering questions.

A variety of speech and language disorders can affect kids. A few examples are:

• Stuttering — trouble saying words or sentences in a way that flows smoothly.
• Articulation errors — difficulty forming certain words or sounds.
• Childhood apraxia — trouble accurately moving the lips, jaw and tongue to speak.

Children with speech or language disorders often can understand and work well with visual information. They also can use visual cues well in social situations.

Nonverbal skills

Children with nonverbal learning disorders often have good basic language skills. They can excel at memorizing words too. But these children may have trouble with some skills that don't involve speaking, such as:

• Perceiving where objects are.
• Understanding abstract concepts.
• Reading people's emotions through facial expressions and other cues.
• Moving the body, also called physical coordination. This type of trouble is known as dyspraxia.
• Fine motor skills, such as writing. This issue may happen along with other learning disorders.
• Paying attention, planning and organizing, as seen in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorders (ADHD).
• Understanding higher-level reading or writing tasks, often appearing in later grade school.

What causes learning disorders?

Things that might play roles in learning disorders include:

• Family history and genes. Having a blood relative, such as a parent, with a learning disorder raises the risk of a child having a disorder.
• Risks before birth and shortly after. Learning disorders have been linked with poor growth in the uterus and exposure to alcohol or drugs before being born. Learning disorders also have been tied to being born too early and having a very low weight at birth.
• Emotional trauma. This could involve a deeply stressful experience or emotional abuse. If either happens in early childhood, it may affect how the brain develops and raise the risk of learning disorders.
• Physical trauma. Head injuries or nervous system illnesses might play a role in the development of learning disorders.
• Poisonous substances. Exposure to high levels of toxins, such as lead, has been linked to a larger risk of learning disorders.

What are the symptoms of learning disorders?

At times, all children have trouble learning and using academic skills. But when the symptoms last for at least six months and don't get better with help from adults, a child might have a learning disorder.

The symptoms of a learning disorder in a child can include:

• Not being able to master skills in reading, spelling, writing or math at or near the expected age and grade levels.
• Trouble understanding and following instructions.
• Problems remembering what someone just said.
• Lacking coordination while walking, playing sports or doing things that use small muscles, such as holding a pencil.
• Easily losing homework, schoolbooks or other items.
• Trouble completing homework and assignments on time.
• Acting out or having defiant, angry or large emotional reactions at school. Or, acting any of these ways while doing academic tasks such as homework or reading.

Seeking help for learning disorders

Early treatment is key, because the problem can grow. A child who doesn't learn to add numbers in elementary school won't be able to do algebra in high school. Children who have learning disorders also can have:

• Anxiety about their grades.
• Depression.
• Low self-esteem.
• Less motivation.

Some children might act out to distract attention from their challenges at school.

If you suspect your child has trouble learning, you can ask the school to check for a learning disorder. Or you can get a private evaluation outside of the school system. A child's teacher, parents or guardian, and health care provider are some of the people who can request an evaluation. Your child will likely first have a general physical exam that checks for vision, hearing or other medical problems that can make learning harder. Often, a child will have a series of exams done by a team of professionals, including a:

• Psychologist.
• Special education teacher.
• Occupational therapist.
• Social worker or nurse.
• Speech and language specialist.

These professionals work together to decide whether a child's trouble meets the definition of a learning disorder. They also figure out what special-education services are needed if the child has a disorder. The team bases its decisions on:

• The results of tests.
• Teacher feedback.
• Input from the parents or guardians.
• A review of how the child does in school.

A child's health care provider also might do tests to look for mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression and ADHD . These mental health conditions can contribute to delays in academic skills.

For example, some children with ADHD struggle to finish classwork and homework. But ADHD might not necessarily cause them to have trouble learning academic skills. Instead, it may cause them to have a hard time performing those skills. Many children have ADHD along with a learning disorder.

Treatment options

If your child has a learning disorder, your child's provider or school might suggest:

• Extra help. A reading specialist, math tutor or other trained professional can teach your child ways to do schoolwork, study and get organized.
• Individualized education program (IEP). This written plan sets learning goals and describes the special-education services your child needs. Public schools develop IEPs for students whose challenges meet the school system's guidelines for a learning disorder. In some countries, IEPs are called individual education plans.
• Changes in the classroom. These are also known as accommodations. For instance, some students with learning disorders get more time to complete work or tests. They may be asked to do fewer math problems in assignments. And they may get seated near their teachers to boost attention. Some students are allowed to use gadgets. These could include calculators to help solve math problems and programs that turn text into speech you can hear. The school also might be willing to provide audiobooks to listen to while reading along with a physical copy.
• Therapy. Different types of therapy may help. Occupational therapy might improve writing problems. A speech-language therapist can help with language skills.
• Medicine. Your child's health care provider might suggest medicine to treat depression or anxiety. Medicines for ADHD may help a child's ability to focus in school.
• Complementary and alternative treatments. More research is needed to find out if these treatments work for learning disorders. They include diet changes, use of vitamins, eye exercises and a treatment that works with brain waves called neurofeedback.

Your child's treatment plan will likely change over time. You always can ask the school for more special-education services or classroom changes. If your child has an IEP , review it with the school at least every year. Your child may need less treatment or fewer learning aids over time. Early treatment can lessen the effects of a learning disorder.

In the meantime, help your child understand in simple terms the need for any other services and how they may help. Also, focus on your child's strengths. Encourage your child to pursue interests that boost confidence. Many kids with learning disorders go on to lead successful lives as adults.

Together, these tactics can boost your child's skills. They also use your child's strengths and help with learning in and outside of school.

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• Kliegman RM, et al. Neurodevelopmental and executive function and dysfunction. In: Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. 21st ed. Elsevier; 2020. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Dec. 22, 2022.
• Von Hahn LE. Specific learning disabilities in children: Clinical features. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed Dec. 23, 2022.
• Kliegman RM, et al. Dyslexia. In: Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. 21st ed. Elsevier; 2020. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Dec. 22, 2022.
• Neurodevelopmental disorders. In: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5-TR. 5th ed. American Psychiatric Association; 2022. https://dsm.psychiatryonline.org. Accessed Dec. 23, 2022.
• Fisher P, et al. Systematic review: Nonverbal learning disability. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 2022; doi:10.1016/j.jaac.2021.04.003.
• Learning disorders. American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. https://www.aacap.org/aacap/families_and_youth/facts_for_families/fff-guide/Children-With-Learning-Disorders-016.aspx. Accessed Dec. 23, 2022.
• Von Hahn LE. Specific learning disabilities in children: Evaluation. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed Dec. 23, 2022.
• Feldman HM, et al., eds. Learning disabilities. In: Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics. 5th ed. Elsevier; 2023. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Dec. 23, 2022.
• Learning disabilities. Pediatric Patient Education. https://publications.aap.org/patiented. Accessed Dec. 23, 2022.
• Fu W, et al. A social-cultural analysis of the individual education plan practice in special education schools in China. 2020; doi:10.1080/20473869.2018.1482853.
• Patil AU, et al. Neurofeedback for the education of children with ADHD and specific learning disorders: A review. Brain Sciences. 2022; doi:10.3390/brainsci12091238.
• Language and speech disorders in children. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/developmentaldisabilities/language-disorders.html. Accessed Jan. 24, 2023.
• What are the treatments for learning disabilities? National Institutes of Health. https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/learning/conditioninfo/treatment. Accessed Jan. 24, 2023.
• Other concerns and conditions with ADHD. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/conditions.html#LearningDisorder. Accessed Jan. 24, 2023.
• Hoecker J (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic. Jan. 23, 2023.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not.  Middle school syndrome is the worst.  Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail.  I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest.  It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up.  I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way.  Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever.  They didn't even get an ounce of this.  Very very frustrating.  And I wish I have never invited video games to this household.  That is all they want to do.  I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits.  Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career.  I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel.  It is very hard too when you don't get any help.  I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents.  Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home?  okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care.  He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes.  He is totally the same!  They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative.  They are so insanely smart.  I worry about exactly the same thing.  They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami).  It made a huge difference in the short-term.  They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son.  The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us.  He is like the Borg!  I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son.  The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun!  It is bloody hard work.  And, harder the older they get -

eg.  He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"  This has worked for 2 days now.  

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time.  Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too.  We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine.  We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all.  We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).  

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son.  Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do.  Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline.  That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!  If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class.  How do you combat this without going to the school everyday?  Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation.  He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend  , my child is the same way.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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• 1. The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework
• 2. What to Do When Your Child or Teen is Suspended or Expelled From School
• 3. Acting Out in School: When Your Child is the Class Troublemaker
• 4. Young Kids in School: Help for the Top 4 Behavior Problems
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The Secret Guide to Helping Kids Stay FOCUSED On Homework

Is homework time turning into a daily battle? Discover how to transform the struggle into success with a simple yet effective strategy: structured breaks. Here, we'll talk about how taking short breaks during homework can make it easier and more fun for your child. Say goodbye to stress and hello to productive learning moments! 

Making Homework Easier: The Power of Structured Breaks

Are homework sessions with your child becoming a dreaded battle? If you're tired of the hard work, check out a successful plan that can make homework easier and less stressful for your child. Here, we'll explore how adding scheduled breaks to your child's homework routine can bring positive changes.

The Role of Timers: A Simple Yet Effective Solution

One of the most potent tools you can utilize is a timer. Based on my own experience as a parent and in the classroom, using timers can greatly improve homework time. Instead of thinking your child can finish all their assignments at once, try dividing tasks into smaller time chunks.

The Burst-and-Break Approach: Harnessing Focus Through Intervals

The key lies in understanding that homework doesn't have to be a marathon. For kids, especially those who learn differently, working in short bursts and taking quick breaks can improve productivity. For example, if you work with full concentration for 20 minutes and then take a short break, it can help you stay focused and maintain the quality of your thinking.

Customizing Work Periods: Addressing Attention Challenges

Recognizing that sustained focus can be challenging, even for kids without ADHD, allows you to tailor work periods. Depending on your child's age and needs, you can experiment with time increments that work best for them. Different people have different preferences when it comes to work intervals and breaks. Some may find success with shorter bursts and breaks, while others may prefer longer periods.

Encouraging Self-Competition: Using Timers to Your Advantage

Harnessing timers for competition can motivate your child to beat their own best time. Those who thrive on challenge will respond positively to this approach. So, if homework feels like too much, dividing tasks into smaller time slots can help reduce stress and boost their sense of achievement.

Breaks for Renewed Focus: The Importance of Physical Activity

Incorporating breaks into the routine is essential for maintaining engagement. These breaks needn't be lengthy; short intervals work wonders. What's even more effective is integrating physical activities during breaks. Jumping, bouncing, or playing catch can help reset focus and enhance overall productivity.

Flexible Seating and Movement: Finding Comfort in Variety

Letting your child move around while doing homework can help them out. Offer your child different seating options, like standing, bouncing, or walking. Create a comfy learning space that matches your child's preferences for effective studying.

Collaboration and Rewards: A Joint Effort for Success

Engaging your child in the process is pivotal. Understand their individual patterns and barriers related to homework. By involving them, you can co-create strategies for success. Giving reward based on their interests can make them even more motivated and engaged.

Creating a Family Routine: Fostering a Sense of Unity

To avoid feelings of isolation during homework time, establish a family routine. Choose a specific period during which everyone engages in quiet and productive activities. This method lessens the child's load and promotes teamwork and shared responsibility.

Transforming Homework: Structured Breaks for Success

Structured breaks can be a game-changer in streamlining homework. Mixing work bursts with fun breaks helps concentration and a positive attitude.

Key Takeaways:

Additional tips.

Create a Dedicated Homework Space

Set up a special homework area that's quiet and comfy to cut distractions and boost focus.

Use Positive Reinforcement

Offer small rewards or incentives for completing homework, such as extra playtime or a favorite snack. This can motivate your child to stay on track.

Break Down Complex Tasks

When a homework assignment feels like a lot, break it into smaller tasks to make it more manageable and less overwhelming.

Model Good Habits

Show your child that you also engage in focused tasks and breaks. They'll learn from your example and see the value of staying productive.

Encourage Self-Monitoring

Teach your child to set their own timers or use a stopwatch to track their focused work time. This promotes self-awareness and responsibility.

Mix Up Activities

Incorporate different subjects or types of homework during work periods to prevent boredom and maintain engagement.

Include Physical Movement

Integrate short movement breaks during longer study sessions to increase blood flow and cognitive function.

Set Realistic Expectations

Understand your child's capabilities and adjust work periods and breaks . Not all children work best with the same intervals.

Reflect and Adjust

After a study session, discuss what worked well and what could be improved. This reflective approach helps refine the strategy over time.

Stay Open to Adaptation

As your child grows and their needs change, be open to adjusting the timing and structure of work periods and breaks to maintain effectiveness.

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a Goally Publication

ADHD and Homework: How To Get Kids To Focus

Home » Parent Press » Parenting Hacks » Academics » ADHD and Homework: How To Get Kids To Focus

It’s that time of day again: your child has returned home from school, tossed their backpack on the table, and wandered off to do whatever strikes their fancy. Homework has again gone forgotten. So how do you get kids to focus? It’s no surprise that children with ADHD struggle with homework. All children do! They’re tired after a long day of learning new things and being exposed to a lot of overstimulation. That said, someone has to do the homework eventually, so you need to get your child on track. ADHD and homework do not have to be an impossible combination. We’re here to help you and your child out. Read on to learn all about strategies to help with homework completion (or even getting started) for children with ADHD. 

Table of Contents

Help Kids Focus With Reminder Tools

Some children (with or without ADHD) will try to hide their homework or just forget they have it. Children with ADHD often struggle with the idea of consequences, so they may not remember that hiding their homework will result in lower grades, or that if they don’t act on homework soon, they might really forget later

Give Kids the Same Tools You Give Yourself

You probably use a reminder app on your phone or your calendar to keep up with life. Give kids the same ability with an app or paper planner. We recommend going digital, of course. Use screens in a healthy way with Goally – we even provide a distraction-free device so kids can focus on schedules, checklists, and reminders.

Goally | The Safest Tablet for Kids

Checks and Balances

With so many schools putting schoolwork and grades online, it’s easier than ever for parents to check and make sure that their children actually brought their work home with them. Set a reminder in your own phone to check. If you see homework on your child’s schedule, ask about it. Ask your child about their work. If they claim not to have anything, check online to verify. 

Help Kids Focus With Routine

Establishing a consistent schedule for your child’s work is crucial for improving their focus and productivity. Children thrive when they have structured routines , even if they occasionally resist them. The optimal time for your child to do their work may vary depending on their individual needs and preferences.

For some children, it’s beneficial to allow them some downtime after school to unwind. Engaging in physical activities or taking a brief nap can help them recharge before diving into their assignments. If you’ve been encountering challenges with ADHD and homework refusal, try pushing the homework time back by an hour to provide your child with an opportunity to decompress and transition smoothly into their work.

Create a Special Work Area

It’s tough for any kid to focus on their homework when they’re working from home, what with all the tempting distractions nearby. But for children with ADHD, these distractions can feel like a total nightmare. From pets to toys to TVs, anything can steal their attention away from their work in an instant.

To help your child stay on track, consider setting up a designated homework space that’s free of distractions. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy – just a small desk or table with a few supplies will do. This can help your child get into “work mode” and stay focused during homework time.

When choosing a spot for the workstation, aim for somewhere quiet and free of distractions. Loud noises or visual distractions can easily derail your child’s concentration, so try to avoid setting up near windows that face a busy street or playground.

Stay Nearby

It’s always best for parents to stay near their children when they’re doing their homework. For children with ADHD, it’s extra important. First, your child might need help. If your child knows that you’re nearby, they’ll feel more confident calling out to you for help instead of just skipping the homework assignment. When you’re nearby, you can also keep an eye on your child to make sure that they’re staying on-task. If you notice that your child is starting to wander, you can intervene. 

Schedule Breaks (if Necessary)

Speaking of intervention, intervening doesn’t mean that you make your child start working again. They do have to finish their homework, but it might be better for them to have a short break if they’ve been struggling for a long time. Taking breaks can increase your child’s focus . If they’re working on something too challenging, a short break can be enough to give them the burst of energy that they need to keep going. We recommend 15 minutes or less of break time. Try to get your child to do something physical, like a brief walk outside or a short game of hopscotch. 

Helpful Supplies for Homework Time

All of your child’s supplies should be available to them at their “work station.” But what do they need? First, make sure that they have all standard school supplies. Pencils, crayons, erasers, pens, and anything else that you would have bought for them at the beginning of the year should be nearby.

It’s a good idea to have several labeled document bins or folders where your child can place homework that they’ve finished and homework that they haven’t started yet. This can keep your child more organized. We recommend having a few “extras” that can help your child stay on task. If your child does well with fidget toys, slime, or movement items (like a yoga ball, for example), include those things in the child’s work area. 

Using a Reward System

We all know that homework can be a real drag for kids. If you’re trying to keep your child motivated and engaged, consider starting a reward system. After all, let’s face it – homework is just plain boring! One effective approach is to make “homework time” a regular part of your child’s schedule, and offer rewards for finishing on time or completing assignments early. Kids focus is often motivated by the promise of rewards, so this can be a great way to keep them on track.

And if you’re looking for an easy way to track your child’s progress, check out Goally. With its built-in timer, you can keep tabs on how long your child is spending on each task. After that, you can reward them accordingly when they hit their goals.

Try Goally For Your Child With ADHD

Goally helps kids with ADHD stay focused and build skills. Unlike a Kindle or an iPad that kids get easily distracted on, Goally has no YouTube, no social media, no web browser, and especially no ads.

Goally uses game play as a points-based motivator for your kiddo with ADHD and helps them learn emotional regulation skills. It’s simple to set up and has an expert-informed design.

ADHD and Homework: Your Child Can Focus With the Right Tools

ADHD and homework might seem like an impossible combination, but with the right strategies and tools, your child will coast through all of their homework with ease.  Mix and match these ADHD and homework tips and see your child start to thrive! Are you looking for something new to add to your neurodivergent child’s toolbox? Get Goally! Goally can help your child establish and follow a routine and you can reward them for it! Your child gets access to behavior tracking, visual scheduling, and more. Check out our pricing plan or try a free demo today. We know that you’ll love it.

FAQs About How To Get Kids To Focus

This post was originally published on 02/17/2022. It was updated on 02/02/2024.

We help parents teach their kids life skills, like doing bedtime and morning independently. Backed by science, we incorporate evidence-based practices and expert-informed designs in all of our apps and content.

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