example of personal statement in business

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

• Ruth Gotian
• Ushma S. Neill

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

• Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
• Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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How to Write a Top MBA Personal Statement (With Examples)

Working on your MBA application? You aren’t alone. In 2021, over 200,000 students graduated with an MBA degree making it the number one choice for graduate students for the 10th year in a row. And there’s good reason for this. According to the National Center for Education Statistics , post-MBA, grads can earn significantly more at work—experts estimate an additional $20,000 each year depending on the industry. 

During the application process, you’ll want to stand out. A well-crafted personal statement will help distinguish you from other applicants. It serves as a powerful tool to showcase your unique experiences, skills, and aspirations to admissions committees. To make a lasting impression, tailor your personal statement to each MBA program you’re applying to, highlighting how your background aligns with their values and goals. For additional support, keep reading for some MBA personal statement examples and guidance. 

Understanding the Foundations – Word Count, Templates, and Pricing

When you start your personal statement, keep the word count in mind. Make sure to write your statement succinctly. Templates can give crucial structure to a first draft and make sure you hit necessary points. Finally: is it worth it to hire a professional proofreader? We break down the pros and cons. 

Word Count Considerations

A well-written personal statement is often the deciding factor in the business school admissions process. Conveying your thoughts concisely is a crucial skill in the business world, and future peers will be grateful for your brevity.

One strategy is to start with a longer draft and edit it down when revising. Remove unnecessary details and tighten wordy language. Focus on improving the quality of your content over meeting the maximum word count. 

Templates as a Starting Point

Templates can help to organize your thoughts. Use them to provide structure and give your writing direction. By planning ahead, you can decide how much space you want to dedicate to each element—this can also help you meet the word count.

Remember: popular templates are popular for a reason, and following them too strictly can make your statement feel rigid and unoriginal. To avoid that pitfall, personalization is key. Your individual experiences, goals, and perspectives are all unique. What would a Master’s in Business Administration mean to you? Don’t be afraid to customize any template to fit your voice. 

Professional Proofreading

Graduate schools know what a well-written personal statement looks like—and so do professional proofreaders. Experts can help catch small grammatical errors and improve clarity in your writing. It can be challenging to review personal writing from an objective standpoint. A good proofreader will streamline your writing and ensure overall coherence, improving your odds with your preferred school of business. 

Unfortunately, this can be expensive. Pricing for these services can easily cost hundreds of dollars. If hiring one isn’t in the budget, here are some alternatives: 

• Find writing groups online or in person. Not only will you receive feedback, you’ll get a better idea of what other personal statements look like. Be prepared to help edit other statements.
• Reach out to peers and mentors. Turn to people who know your voice and can tell when your writing is authentic. Make sure they aren’t afraid to give negative feedback.
• Utilize free online resources. Writing tools like Grammarly or Hemingway help check grammar and sentence structure. They won’t help with essay format and aren’t infallible; double-check any changes they might suggest.
• Read your statement out loud. This can help make sure your statement has a good rhythm and flows naturally.
• Take breaks. Be your own set of fresh eyes. When you’re in the thick of writing, you might glaze over easy-to-spot details while you’re thinking of the big picture. Allow yourself to recharge and clear your head before you get back to it. 

Tailoring Your Personal Statement to Top MBA Programs

Make sure to personalize your essays to specific MBA programs . Include details about specific classes and faculty, unique opportunities, and the strengths that make this program stand out. 

Then, tie yourself into the narrative. What role would you fill as a graduate student or an alumnus? Consider your own strengths and where they align with this specific program. What career goals could this opportunity help you achieve? 

Remember to mention your soft skills and other details that may not show up elsewhere on your application. Finally, shine a spotlight on your unique contributions in past roles. 

Write a Captivating Introduction

A beautiful personal statement will be overlooked unless the introduction captivates the audience. You can begin with compelling anecdotes, personal stories, or influential quotes. Tie this introduction into your reason for pursuing an MBA. Make the reader care before launching into your achievements. Then, clearly state why you’re pursuing an MBA. Example: “From the dynamic intersections of global markets to the intricate strategies driving corporate success, the realm of business has always beckoned to me as a realm of boundless opportunity and perpetual evolution..” 

Discuss Academic and Professional Background

Now it’s time to discuss what you’re bringing to the table. It’s okay to brag! Think about any key achievements or acquired skills that are transferable to an MBA program. What motivated you to apply? Example : “As a project manager at XYZ Corp, I navigated intricate challenges, demonstrating resilience and strategic thinking – skills I am eager to refine in a top-tier MBA program.” 

Answer the Questions: Why an MBA? Why Now? 

What does an MBA mean for your career goals ? Break down your short and long-term goals to answer this essay question. How do the skills you gain from earning an MBA connect to your plan? Research the program you’re applying for and use examples from the curriculum. Example : “My immediate goal is to transition from project management to strategic consulting, and Crummer’s MBA program’s focus on experiential learning and global business strategy perfectly complements my aspirations.” 

Emphasize Soft Skills

Think about moments you demonstrated personal growth or teamwork. Are there any moments you stepped up to lead a project or team? Your past experiences will influence your habits in a graduate school setting. Example :  “Leading a cross-functional team on a high-stakes project not only honed my leadership skills but also taught me the importance of collaborative problem-solving, a cornerstone of Crummer’s MBA program. “

Spotlight Unique Contributions

What sets you apart from other applicants? Moreover, what impact will your unique perspective bring to the MBA cohort? Explain how your background will enrich the learning environment. Detail personal qualities and experiences that showcase your value. 

Key Elements for a Powerful Personal Statement

Take a holistic approach to strike the right chord in your personal statement. Give admissions committees a more concrete impression of you. Weave in your qualifications, experiences, and aspirations. Don’t just mention your professional achievements—detail all of your positive qualities. 

Showcase Work Experience 

Be strategic when discussing your real-world work experience. If you can, including measurable results is a great way to show your professional impact. Earnings numbers, statistics, and other metrics will show off your professional experiences. 

Articulate Career Goals and Aspirations

When discussing career goals for an MBA application, detail your short and long-term objectives clearly. Ambiguity can weaken your statement’s impact. Whether you’re joining a family business, starting your own business, or looking to go abroad for international business you should discuss how you see yourself navigating the business world. Connect these career aspirations to the MBA program. 

Incorporate Extracurricular and Real-World Experiences

Touch on any extracurricular experiences like internships or entrepreneurship. Explain how these real-world experiences impacted your analytical skills, business acumen, and decision-making. If you’re an entrepreneur, touch on your journey or discuss the vision for your next startup. 

You can also talk about moments where you demonstrated leadership and communication skills. Teamwork is critical to business leaders. Reflect on your leadership experience—the successes you’ve won and the lessons you learned. 

Maintain Authenticity

Write authentically. Admissions officers want genuine stories. Give readers a reason to empathize with you. Overly formal and generic language can depersonalize your statement and keep readers at arm’s length. 

Also, use conversational language. If something sounds clunky or unnatural, it probably also reads that way. Plus, the way you speak naturally showcases your personality. While you should always use proper grammar, don’t suck the life out of your statement in the name of sounding more “academic.” Use this opportunity to demonstrate your communication skills. 

Navigating Common Challenges

Crafting your personal statements can be challenging! Let’s answer some FAQs. 

How Do I Balance the Personal and Professional Aspects?

Be intentional about what you choose to mention from your personal life. Use elements that either contrast or emphasize your professional experience. How does your background influence your business philosophy? Make sure to keep a professional tone and align your statement with the admissions committee’s expectations and be prepared for any questions the interviewer could ask.

How Do I Handle Sensitive Topics?

If you’re writing about a sensitive topic, do so thoughtfully. You don’t know what type of people will be reading your statement, so be considerate and intentional about any details you choose to share. 

However, your application essay should be a reflection of you. Sensitive subjects often play a major role in personal growth and development. Discuss what you learned from this challenging experience and how it influenced you. 

How Do I Make My Writing Stand Out? 

We’ve touched on all of the story elements you need—now trim the fat. Avoid common clichés and generic statements. Common phrases will dilute the unique perspectives in your personal statement. Make sure the language aligns with you. Avoid language that could apply to everyone when possible. 

Other MBA Application Process Essentials – GMAT Score, GPA, and Statement of Purpose

The MBA application process is multifaceted and holistic. Alongside your statement, admissions committees also consider your GMAT scores and GPA. GMAT scores are used to gauge applicants’ aptitude for business studies, while GPA showcases your readiness for MBA rigor. If you have a lower score in either category, address these challenges by highlighting your other strengths, relevant experience, and resiliency. Remember: committees consider the entire application, not just scores. 

The other factor in the application process is your Statement of Purpose or SOP. This will complement your personal statement. Make sure your SOP articulates your academic and career goals without echoing your other application essay. Avoid redundancy. Focus on the future: link the MBA program to your long-term plan. Take a forward-looking perspective and demonstrate how the MBA will work as a natural progression in your life. 

Your personal statement should be as unique as you are. Start with a compelling narrative and a plan. Proofread your essay, and don’t be afraid to seek help from peers or professionals. Explain how your personal and professional life gives you the necessary skills to thrive at your desired program and be specific about what you want to do there. This is your chance to differentiate yourself from other applicants—take advantage!

Crummer is the #1 ranked MBA program in Florida. You can learn more about what we offer and when you’re ready, start working on your application . 

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Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples

Introduction.

Applying to an MBA program is a lengthy process that involves multiple steps and numerous requirements. Some parts of the process are relatively simple, such as academic transcripts or test score submissions. 

Other parts are more complex and require more from you, such as the MBA essay(s) that you’ll likely have to submit. Of course, every bit of information you include in your application is vitally important because your application will be considered in its entirety before any decisions regarding your candidacy are made. 

However, certain portions of your application may hold more weight than others. There is no doubt that grades are important, and having a high GPA or an exceptional GMAT score certainly helps improve your chances of acceptance. 

Yet, numbers don’t leave much room for standing out, which is necessary when considering the sheer amount of applications MBA admissions committees have to sort through. However, writing an outstanding MBA personal statement is your chance to do precisely that. 

An exceptionally well-written personal statement could be the gateway to your success and could land your name on a shortlist for an interview invitation to the business school of your choice, getting you that much closer to an acceptance to a future MBA program. 

On the other hand, “ An essay that reveals any weakness in your candidacy could quickly put you in the reject pile,” so the stakes are high when you get to this point in your application. To learn more about where you should start, how you can ensure that your MBA personal statement makes you stand out, and what kinds of things you should avoid writing about - read on.

What is an MBA Personal Statement?

An MBA personal statement introduces you to the school’s admissions committee that you’re applying to. It is also an opportunity for you to show them what you could potentially contribute to the community that exists at their school.

For most schools, your chance to write a personal statement comes with your responses to the MBA essay questions. Each school has its own requirements when it comes to the MBA essay. There is only one essay prompt for some schools, and for others, there are multiple questions that you must answer. 

Similarly, some schools have word requirements that limit either the minimum or maximum word count that you can use for your answers, whereas others provide the question and let you decide how much to contribute.

Although each school has topics they typically like to cover, many schools change their questions from year-to-year, but some general themes tend to reoccur quite often in these kinds of prompts. One theme that often comes up has to do with your interest in the school or how you envision yourself fitting into the school’s program. 

For example, the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania requests their applicants to answer “What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA?” They also ask “how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community?” 

Other schools are more interested in the theme of self-reflection. The University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business , for example, wants to learn “more about you outside of the office,” and they request that you take their essay as an “opportunity to tell us [them] something about who you are.” 

For many schools, the theme of goals and ambitions is a popular topic. At NYU Stern , they ask applicants, “What are your short and long-term career goals?” and  “how will the MBA help you achieve them?”Another major theme shared by many schools is that of leadership. 

Berkeley Haas requires that applicants consider how “the definition of successful leadership has evolved over the last decade and will continue to change,” and they’re interested in knowing “What do you need to develop to become a successful leader?” Although some schools branch away from these general subjects, these themes tend to be the most common, so the chances are good that you may have to write about one or more of these topics in your MBA personal statement.

Top Tips on Writing an Outstanding MBA Personal Statement

Focus on the question.

You’re going to want to keep in mind several things while you’re writing your MBA personal statement. One of the things is that you maintain a steady focus on the actual question(s) asked throughout your essay. Of course, the questions are often very open-ended and allow you to answer them in a variety of ways. 

Once you’ve chosen a path, try your best to stick with it and continuously remind yourself of the task at hand, so you can question whether you’re straying too far from what you’re trying to write about. Staying on topic and focusing on the question at hand will also help prevent you from wasting space and time on irrelevant information. 

Although the admissions committee probably doesn’t have a distinct black and white answer to the question that they’re asking, they are still looking for an answer, so make sure that you’re not just providing them with an autobiography. 

Writing about your strengths and experiences is still necessary, so make sure you cover any  relevant strengths and experiences in accordance with the theme and question. Although admissions committees are generally interested in applicants who write unique content, it is important to avoid getting too far off track with your MBA personal statement. There is still a question at hand to answer, with directions that must be followed, so don’t write about whatever you please.

Show Your Passion

A good, compelling MBA personal statement is chalked full of passion. If you let your passion shine through in every line, you’re bound to grab the attention of the admissions committee that reads your application. No business school is interested in an applicant that lacks passion and enthusiasm. 

The main goal of each school is to fill their cohort with future leaders, who are passionate and driven to succeed. Let them know what kind of  business goals you have in mind and give them an idea of your ultimate ambitions. Whether you want to create a startup, start a nonprofit, or even move up within the ranks of the company that you’re already working for, let the admissions committee in on how you view your future in the business world.

With that said, make sure it's overtly clear why that envisioned future has ignited a passion inside of you that has pushed you to apply for an MBA program. Ensure that you go back to the source of your ambitions and give them an idea of where your passion originally stemmed from. Doing this will help them understand your aspirations better, and it will also give them a better overall understanding of who you are at your core.

Get to Know the School

It should also be evident in your MBA personal statement that you’ve invested time into getting to know the school that you’re applying to. Schools differ from each other in varying ways, and each of their MBA programs have distinct features that set them apart from one another. 

If you can demonstrate an understanding of the school’s missions, values, and goals in your personal statement, it will let the admissions committee know that you’ve done your research. Knowing these things will also help you tailor your MBA personal statement to meet some of the school’s criteria. 

Once you know the goals of a school, you can detail various ways that you’re capable of contributing to them. Once you know their values, you can show them various traits, which you possess, that align with those values. Once you know what their mission is, you can highlight ways in which your mission is similar. 

Of course, it isn’t necessary to reflect every single virtue that the school values in your MBA personal statement, but if you’re able to make enough of these connections between yourself and the school, they’ll see that you’re a good fit for a future cohort, increasing your chances of acceptance into one of their programs. 

Let the admissions committee know why you feel their MBA program is the best fit for you. If you can think of some specific things that their program provides, such as experiential learning or internships, mention why these opportunities excite you. Additionally, if a particular member of their faculty or a specific course interests you, explain where your appeal is coming from. 

There are many ways for you to gain more information about a school that will be useful during this portion of your personal statement. You can check out the school’s website, reach out to department heads, look into previous or current students’ profiles, look at the school’s online forums and social media groups, and even attend their events scheduled for prospective students.

Highlight Your Leadership Qualities

Upon closer inspection of some business school websites, it will be apparent that most of them value leadership above all else. Essentially, all business schools are looking to fill their cohorts with students who will become global leaders in the future. 

If you can show a school’s admissions committee that you have leadership qualities and that you have the potential to be a great leader, it will undoubtedly pique their interest in you. The best way to do this is by providing an insight into your motivations, strengths, and capabilities by emphasizing experiences that you’ve had, which present you as a proactive person who takes charge of the situations. 

You don’t need to describe some grand situation where you made a global impact. However, if you’ve taken the initiative to lead a local fundraiser, or you’ve started a club and led them to a set goal, these are the kinds of experiences that are worth mentioning because they will portray you as a leader.

Back-Up Your Claims

It is of vital importance that you don’t merely tell admissions why you’re a good fit for their school, or that you’re a strong leader, or that you have what it takes to make it in the world of business. Instead, you must show them all of these things by backing up your claims with examples. 

Your claims will feel empty and baseless if you don’t have real-life examples to back them up. Rather than telling a school how resourceful or imaginative you are, tell them an anecdotal story that helps them independently draw this conclusion . 

You can describe a situation when you made use of connections you have within your community to get something done that would benefit everyone or a time when you had to come up with a creative solution to a setback that you were facing. 

Unlike general statements, stories are memorable and will be hard for admissions committees to forget about you if you tell them a story that shines a light on your best side. Keep your stories brief and to the point, but include the necessary details to illustrate the points you’re trying to make.

Mistakes to Avoid While Writing an MBA Personal Statement

Don’t be too eager to please.

Many people make a common mistake when writing their MBA personal statement by focusing too much on writing exactly what they believe the committee wants to hear. In other words, trying too hard to please the admissions committee can sometimes have the opposite effect. 

When taking on an MBA essay, if you write what you think the admissions committee is expecting, you’ll waste a perfect opportunity to show them your actual value to their program, and you’ll likely blend in with the rest of the applicants. 

Each admissions committee has boxes that they are looking to tick, and the overall goal is for you to tick as many or all of those boxes as possible in a natural manner. If your aim is fitting the bill, it will be obvious and will detract from your chance to come across as unique. 

It will also make for a dull and underwhelming MBA personal statement. Beyond fulfilling specific requirements, you should demonstrate that you have character. Don’t be afraid to break the mold, at times, if it will allow you to open up more and share something genuine about who you are. 

Diversity is essential at any business school because diverse perspectives are what make a cohort attractive and interesting. So, think of how you can contribute to this diversity and embrace your authentic self when you craft your MBA personal statement.

Avoid Summarizing Your Résumé

By the time that an admissions committee gets to your MBA personal statement, the chances are good that they’ve already read through your résumé . Thus, there is no need for you to restate information directly from your résumé during your MBA personal statement. 

The admissions committee has that information already, and you can trust that they will not forget it if it is worth remembering.  By the time they get to your personal statement, they are craving something original and fresh. 

The purpose of a résumé is to list your relevant experience, but the purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show why that experience matters and why it sets you apart from all the other applicants. 

If you want your essay to be captivating, you must draw the admissions committee in with your storytelling skills. Use vivid descriptions to bring the stories that you’re telling to life and take the admissions committee on a journey that demands their attention.

No Need to Apologize

A general rule to keep in mind when writing your MBA personal statements is to avoid making any apologies. If there is a portion of your application that you aren’t feeling overly confident about, don’t draw attention to it. 

It might feel like you must explain yourself, whether this means justifying a lower than average GPA or test score or why there is a gap in your employment. 

However, your MBA personal statement is a limited opportunity for you to convince an admissions committee of your candidacy for their program, so spending time on things that don’t accentuate your best side is a waste of valuable time and words. Rather than apologizing for your potential downfalls, draw the admissions committee’s attention away from those parts of your application. 

Give them a good reason to naturally forget those things by wowing them with an MBA personal statement that highlights all of the reasons you are the ideal choice for their next cohort. The only time it is acceptable to explain your shortcomings is if the essay question specifically asks about them.

Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples 

Goals essay example.

Essay 1: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

Sample Introduction:

Prior to COVID, I dreamed of a future as an entrepreneur building on my mother’s example of using business to make a difference in local communities. 2020, however, afforded me the opportunity to simultaneously begin pursuing the impact I hoped to make, even without my own venture, by participating in [Name] and [Name] recruiting efforts, while pausing to reflect on those aspirations.

Though I would still like to build on my mother’s legacy of community-minded entrepreneurship, I believe I will be able to make the most direct impact by founding my own venture capital fund that incubates companies from seed to late stage. My three years at [Company] have helped me develop analytical and operational skills necessary to be a thoughtful founder, but a Wharton MBA will help me refine my leadership style, as well as help me adopt the mindset of a community-minded investor.

Sample Body Paragraph:

With a flexible core foundation, I will use my time at Wharton to focus on classes that will uniquely help me achieve my goal. As a double major in Business Economics and Public Policy and Entrepreneurship & Innovation, I will not only understand the best way to use business to improve a community with classes like “Urban Public Policy and Private Economic Development,” but I can also study different methods to bring solutions to life with classes like “Venture Capital and Entrepreneurial Management” and “Finance of Buyouts and Acquisitions.” Best of all, I can begin applying and practicing what I have learned in the classroom by working with the [Company] or spending a semester in [Place] with the robust [Community] in the [Area].

Sample Conclusion:

After graduating, I intend to be an active alumni, joining the Alumni Angel group, as well as serving as a mentor for Wharton students. Bolstered by my experiences inside and outside the classroom, I will be ready to make my mark on the Venture Capital world, bringing more equitable access to financial resources for entrepreneurs of color. When I do, I know that I will have the support of my Wharton community behind me.

Why it Works:

This is a fantastic sample of a MBA personal statement for many reasons. Firstly, the applicant doesn’t waste any time and gets right into an explanation of their personal goals and aspirations at the beginning of their essay, which then ties into a brief explanation of the source of their inspiration. 

They also highlight their opportunistic nature by showing how they took advantage of the situation when COVID began. They consistently reference specific parts of the Wharton MBA program they’re interested in, such as some specific classes they intend to take. They also mention how they plan to use their experience at Wharton to make their dream a reality.

Contributions Essay Example

Essay 2: Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

While I may have a few years before launching my own fund to transform local communities, during my time at Wharton, I intend to be an active participant in Wharton’s Anti-Racism goals, fighting to bring equity and inclusion with the same passion I have brought to my office and B/LX network. I want to help usher in a new era at Wharton focused on today’s business concerns where diversity and inclusion are top of mind.

I plan to be an active member of whatever initiatives are formed with student involvement seeking to effect that change, such as the Wharton Graduate Association (WGA). As a member of the [Organization], I can work with my peers to network in our hometowns to increase [Ethnicity] participation in MBA programs, which has been historically under-represented, as well as welcome prospective students as a host during [Initiative], to ensure that all who are interested feel welcome the moment they approach this school.

I have learned through my work at [Company] that one needs to bring in allies to improve diversity - cultivating a strong affinity group is a start, but not enough. As a member of the [Group], I will support Wharton founders, specifically ones with social ventures addressing poverty and inequality in the greater [City] community, thus growing student-funded entrepreneurship with a social benefit. As a fellow, I will also be able to further hone my own sense of leadership to understand the best way to motivate people to prioritize community benefit.

When not focused on ventures and leadership, I plan to school fellow students in the Tennis Club, share meals with the Wharton Food Club, and continue bragging about California’s Cabernet Sauvignons to the Wine Club. I envision my Wharton experience moving beyond the classroom to build an alumni cohort to last a lifetime, supporting each other to overcome the challenges we will inevitably face as we become next generation leaders.

This MBA personal statement is yet another strong sample. This applicant has clearly done their research and has discovered that they have a goal in common with the school they’re applying to. They focus on this shared goal and highlight how they intend to achieve progress towards it by working together with the school and its community. 

They make sure to back up their claims with examples of relevant work experience  that is in line with this vein of thought. Doing this demonstrates focus and shows that they are serious about their passions. 

Their conclusion further reinstates the fact that they are familiar with what the school has to offer, and it also flushes their personality out a little more. It also helps the admissions committee to envision the applicant fitting into the school’s community in various ways.

Self Reflection Essay Example

Essay 3: As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Disability has always been close to home; my family and community have a long and painful history of degenerative disease. I often think of my uncle, who steadfastly refused to let others help him eat meals following a string of kidney surgeries, and to my grandfather, suffering from neurodegenerative decline, who would rather exert excruciating effort to walk up a flight of stairs than ask me to get reading glasses from his bedroom.

It dawned on me that a reliance on others to move through daily life slowly chips away at one’s humanity; that lost independence is a common denominator of disability, and it impacts people almost as meaningfully as the underlying medical condition does. While various technologies and medical subspecialties exist to ease physical suffering, there is woefully little out there aimed to mitigate this deeper psychological problem. What’s more, the data and tools to solve this issue do exist, but millions continue to suffer.

I’m driven by finding answers to the most complex, most challenging problems faced by humanity; the ones that are too daunting, or those that go unrecognized. I felt a moral obligation to intervene. What followed would help me discover my life’s mission – building AI-driven tech to improve healthcare.

Sample Body Paragraphs

I rallied a friend, and together we built an AI-driven, low-cost speech-recognition platform that enabled voice-activated control over electronic systems in a household, thus empowering individuals suffering from ALS and multiple sclerosis. It was an exercise in creativity and persistence. It was quite daunting at the outset - I still have scars from initial circuit prototypes exploding in my hand. But, in the end, our solution worked, and cost a fraction of a now commercially available solution like Alexa.

As I think back to my core questions of independence, disability, and the juxtaposition of

medical and psychological suffering, I see increased life expectancy as a testament to modern advances in medicine. I now want to start the conversation around ensuring that people like my uncle or grandfather live not just longer, but happier, more dignified lives.

In the long run, by proving the benefits of AI-driven healthcare to the world, I want to build an enterprise that not only continues to develop sophisticated technologies, solve complex medical challenges, and change lives, but also improves the underlying fabric of healthcare policy. Like Uber and Airbnb, my dream is to eventually create an organization that fundamentally shifts the contemporary regulatory paradigm in healthcare to one that evolves and appropriately reflects both the medical and psychological needs of the modern patient.

The more I study disability, disease, impairment, and their implications on the human psyche, the more I appreciate the power of community - the feeling that there are people who fearlessly stand with you as you look to defy the odds. As I look to achieve my life’s mission and create a better healthcare system, I can’t think of a stronger, more supportive, and more inspiring community than Harvard.

The general management toolkit, network, and leadership skills that I develop will stay with me long past my time at HBS. I am confident in finding co-founders, collaborators, and investors who are as passionate as I am about solving entrenched challenges in healthcare. I plan to engage in cross-disciplinary inquiry through the [Initiative], and strive to develop a deft understanding of the interplay between the business, policy, and technological aspects of healthcare, something made uniquely possible through close collaboration with HMS and HKS.

I am more inspired than ever to realize my dream of restoring the lives of millions who suffer through no fault of their own, and the Harvard MBA will enable me to achieve exactly that.

This essay manages to take a very broad MBA essay question and turn it into a highly focused and genuine personal statement. The applicant doesn’t merely state their goals, but paints a delicate picture of their very personal inspirations that have become their driving force. 

This MBA personal statement includes numerous details, while refraining from including irrelevant ones. Each part of the narrative that they’ve told is necessary and is carefully woven together to provide an accurate background of where their motivation stems from and how it has led them to apply to this school. 

They also reference relevant achievements and experiences that they’ve had that indicate a strong sense of leadership within them, making them an attractive candidate for the school they’re applying to.

1. What is the purpose of an MBA personal statement?

The general purpose of an MBA personal statement is to show the admissions committee a little more about who you are and why they should consider your candidacy for their program. It is also a chance for you to show your goals and ambitions, while demonstrating how they pertain to the specific MBA program you’re applying to.

2. How long should an MBA personal statement be?

Some schools have specific minimum or maximum word counts for their essays, while others don’t. A school will typically list these kinds of requirements together with the essay questions.

3. What should I focus on with my MBA personal statement?

Your MBA personal statement should focus on answering the question(s) that the school has provided. These questions vary from school-to-school, but are usually found on the applications page of a school’s website, along with all of the other information relevant to your application. In conjunction with your answer to the prompt, you may focus on describing experiences, skills, and goals of yours that are relevant to the MBA program you’re applying to.

4. Should I write a different personal statement for each school that I apply to if I’m applying to multiple schools/programs?

Yes. Not only does each school have their own essay questions, but each school also has its own set of values, missions, and interests. Thus, your MBA personal statement isn’t easily transferable from one school’s application to another. 

If you want to maximize your chances of getting accepted into a school’s MBA program, you must carefully craft a unique MBA personal statement for each school that you apply to.

5. What should I research before writing my MBA personal statement?

Some research into a school is necessary before you can begin writing an MBA personal statement to submit to them. You may want to research a school’s mission statement, curriculum, faculty, extracurricular activities, or other pertinent information related to their MBA program. 

It will be necessary to reference these kinds of things throughout your MBA personal statement when you explain why this particular school is the best option for you and why you are the best fit for their next cohort.

6. Should I mention my GPA or GMAT/GRE scores in my MBA personal statement?

No. Your academic transcripts and test score submissions will be part of a different section of your application. The admissions committee does not need to see the same information in two places. 

Use the MBA personal statement as an opportunity to improve your candidacy for the school’s program in fresh, new ways by discussing things that would not be possible to include in your transcripts or on your résumé.

Your MBA personal statement is a vital part of your MBA application, and, as such, it requires that you approach your writing process with careful consideration. Your personal statement is a significant opportunity to make a good impression on the admissions committee by showing them who you are and why you deserve a coveted spot in their program. 

Plan out what you want to say, and take your time organizing exactly how you’d like to say it. Remember that every word counts, so make sure that you stay focused and don’t get off-topic. Once you’ve written an outstanding MBA personal statement that you feel packs a punch, proofread your essay, and, if possible, have others proofread it as well to ensure that there are no errors that will detract from the content.

You should also make sure that your writing conveys a sense of confidence, creativity, and passion. If you account for all of these things, and you let your true self shine through in your MBA personal statement, then there is no reason why an admissions committee wouldn’t be interested in having you join their next cohort of students.

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How To Get Into Columbia Business School

Writing a Business Personal Statement: 7 Steps to a Stand-Out Application for Your Students

James is senior content marketing manager at BridgeU. He writes and directs content for BridgeU's university partners and our community of international schools

• Answer the fundamental question of a business personal statement
• Sell their suitability in their business personal statement
• Identify relevant experiences to include in the business personal statement
• Identify the areas of business that most interest them
• Think about what they want to learn next
• Come up with a compelling structure for the business personal statement
• Create the business personal statement

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Business subjects are some of the most popular around the world, meaning competition is stiff! Help your students secure top spots with these 7 steps for writing business personal statements.

The business personal statement is probably something you’ve contended with a lot as a university counsellor. After all, business and its related subjects are some of the most  popular degree subjects  and  majors  in the world!

But writing a personal statement for business can be tricky. It’s a subject that requires a diverse blend of skills. Students need to be mathematical, analytical and logical, but also have entrepreneurial spirit and creative flair. Strong leadership and communication skills are often at play, too, particularly for degrees focused on management.

So how can you ensure students’ personal statements hit all these criteria, capture who they are  and  make them stand out from an ever-growing crowd of applicants? All while keeping to the personal statement’s notoriously tight limit of just 4000 characters?

Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. We’ve created a clear 7-step process for writing a business personal statement. By the end, students will have a memorable, impactful and totally personalised essay!

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Learn how BridgeU can help students research a wider range of vocational courses.

Step 1: Answer the fundamental question of a business personal statement

The first step is perhaps the most important: interrogating  why  they want to study business.

The strongest personal statements showcase a well-rounded interest in business. Therefore, it’s a good idea to suggest that your students jot down some motivations in each of these categories:

• Intellectual
• Professional

Another helpful technique is thinking about how they chose which universities and courses to apply to. Different countries and even universities structure business degrees differently, and have different focuses, specialisations, approaches… So what factors did your students use to narrow down their options? What do their top courses have in common – and why?

These questions can uncover the nuances of what they’re looking for in the degree, and what they’re hoping to get out of it. And that makes a compelling business personal statement!

We want… a personal insight into the applicant, something that goes over and above their academic achievements and includes their motivations, their ambitions, how they chose their university course, what they feel they could contribute to our community, and what it is they seek from their university experience.” Dr Trevor Bolton:  Pro Vice Chancellor & Dean Of International Business School, Anglia Ruskin University

Step 2: Sell their suitability in their business personal statement

Once they’ve drafted ideas about  why  they want to study business, encourage your students to think about why they  should .

Here, too, you can add structure to their ideas using handy categories.

1. Their personality and characteristics

Students should keep in mind that a business personal statement – like any other – needs to reflect who they are.

What is it about their personality that’s well-suited to studying business? How does this match their career goals? Which characteristics set them up for success at university?

2. Their skills and interests

Universities want to see a curiosity that takes students beyond the curriculum, and the relevant skills that their curiosity has developed. 

Are they maths wizards? Do they have an eye for investment? Have they helped their parents file their taxes? Do they have an in-depth knowledge of a particular economic paradigm?

Some other topics and areas to include:

• Recent news stories that have caught their attention
• Business-related blogs or publications they follow
• Related podcasts they listen to
• Lectures they’ve attended
• Public figures who inspire them

Step 3: Identify relevant experiences to include in the business personal statement

As business is a vocational pathway with infinite real-world applications, universities want to see that students have engaged with ideas and practices outside the classroom, and that their passion has driven real action.

So here are some things to consider:

• Work experiences/placements
• Extracurricular activities
• Extended projects
• Summer school  or other courses
• A passion project they’ve pursued outside school (e.g. an online homemade candle shop, a business blog)

For some extra inspiration, check out this video of Melissa talking at one of our student events about choosing experiences for her business personal statement!

Above all, students need to think deeply about each experience. They shouldn’t just write  what  they did. Instead, have them think about why they decided to do it, and what they learned. Again, this will offer a better indication of who they are, and show that they’re insightful, interested and introspective.

And to give their business personal statement that extra pzazz, see if students can link some of their experiences to current affairs or real-life examples in the business world!

Choosing experiences and skills for a business personal statement

We know that your students probably have a veritable cornucopia of experiences and skills to draw from. To help you narrow them down to that 4000 character limit, here are some of the qualities that admissions tutors look for in business personal statements.

• Enthusiasm and curiosity for the subject
• Initiative and innovation
• Individuality and personality
• Independent learning
• Problem-solving
• Setting and hitting goals
• Communication
• Quantitative skills
• Essay-writing skills
• Entrepreneurship
• A global mindset

[In business applicants, we look for] the abilities to think and work independently, follow complex lines of reasoning, demonstrate logical thought processes, solve problems and communicate accurately and succinctly” Will Breare-Hall:  Student recruitment and study abroad manager

Choosing Experiences for a Business Personal Statement

Step 4: identify the areas of business that most interest them.

For such a competitive and broad subject, simply being passionate is not enough to stand out. Students need to show a thoughtful, individual and developed interest.

Have students write down the topics, classes, projects or sources that have really captivated them in the course of their studies. It doesn’t have to be in a dedicated business class – universities know lots of students don’t have the chance to study business before university!

But they’ve likely encountered economic arguments in history or politics, or practical applications of maths techniques, or theories of occupational psychology… There are all kinds of areas that could have sparked students’ interest in business.

You don’t need to take our word for it! In one of our previous webinars, Rebecca Hill from the University of Exeter spoke about what the subjects she and her fellow admissions tutors look for in business applicants…

Here, too though, it’s absolutely imperative that students go beyond the classroom. Students should also pick out recent news stories, ideas they’ve found in their independent reading and research or case studies that fascinate them.

You can also tell your students not to shy away from being a little bit controversial… Do they have any strong opinions on recent events or issues – like why a well-known company collapsed, why a particular brand came back into the mainstream after decades, or why a real CEO is so fantastic (or terrible!)? If they can back up their thoughts, this can make a really memorable and impactful business personal statement.

The Subjects Aspiring Business Students Should Study

Step 5: think about what they want to learn next.

Universities don’t just want to understand students’ existing interest in business. They’re keen to hear how students plan to keep that motivation up throughout their studies.

A business personal statement should show universities how they will develop the knowledge, skills and curiosities that students are bringing to the table.

And while self-confidence and selling themselves is crucial, a little humility never goes amiss! Students aren’t yet masters of business, and acknowledging that there are areas they don’t know all about indicates their thirst for knowledge and determination to grow.

Top tip: Have students look at the modules offered on their favourite business degree programmes, and/or at the specialisations of the professors in the department. These could be the perfect inspiration or springboard for topics they’d like to pursue!

Step 6: Come up with a compelling structure for the business personal statement

Now that your students have all of the ingredients for a stellar personal statement, it’s time to help them put it all together!

The most important tip is to ensure that each personal statement tells a coherent story.

If your students feel overwhelmed, they can’t go wrong with a great personal statement template – at least as a jumping-off point.

Related resource:  Personal statement template

Step 7: Create the business personal statement

After the sixth step, your students will have to go away and independently write a first draft – but they’re not on their own from here on out! They’ll need to share it with you for feedback and proofreading.

Of course, having lots of different drafts zipping back and forth can get confusing and chaotic. It’s a good idea to use a  free platform like BridgeU , where you can make edits and suggestions in one single document that students can see and respond to from their own accounts.

It also makes writing references and recommendations so much simpler, as you and your colleagues can draft your comments in line with students’ statements and see their experiences and transcripts with the click of a button.

Learn more by booking your free BridgeU demo below.

Learn how BridgeU can help deliver better outcomes for your students and improved results for your school

7 Outstanding MBA Personal Statement Examples

For top 5 mba programs in the world: updated.

Featured Expert: Hassan Awan, MBA

Reviewing MBA personal statement examples can really inspire your own! Before applying to competitive professional programs, many students review medical school personal statement examples or law school personal statement examples , as these can be a great way to gauge what is expected of you. And if you are applying to an MBA – you should certainly review MBA personal statement examples! In this blog, we will teach you what an MBA personal statement is and why it’s needed, the types of essay questions commonly asked and how to answer them, and provide 7 MBA personal statement examples you can study to craft your own. This blog will also cover some of the key elements of a winning personal statement and some of the biggest mistakes to avoid when writing your personal statement.

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free strategy call here . <<

Article Contents 26 min read

What is an mba personal statement.

An MBA personal statement is an integral part of any MBA application. But what exactly is it? Simply put, an MBA personal statement, sometimes called a goal statement or statement of purpose, is a summary of your goals and experiences, why you are applying to your chosen MBA programs and what you hope to achieve in doing so. It’s a document, written in essay form, that tells admissions committees the skills, experiences and fresh perspective you can bring to the program.

A personal statement convinces admissions committees that you are the most suitable choice for a position in a department of Business Administration. MBA personal statements work a bit like a great cover letter for a job interview. A good cover letter tells a hiring committee a bit more about you and your suitability for a job position. A great one will get you an interview or even a job offer from the chosen company. Similarly, your MBA personal statement should cinch your acceptance to a chosen program in the field of business administration.

For almost every application process, you’ll be asked to write a personal statement, and an MBA program is no exception. Schools want to know more about you. They want to know your motivations, your purpose in applying to business school, and any significant part of why you chose to pursue this degree. They’re looking for more than high grades and impressive resumes.

Admissions committees know that the competition is fierce, so they want to make the best decision possible. A personal statement is the best way to show them why your candidacy should be considered above others.

Your personal statement is your chance to shine. It’s a chance to make an impression on your business school’s admissions committee. It also shows committees that you have top-notch writing and communication skills, two things that are big assets to any future business leader. So, admissions officers aren’t just using your personal statement to measure how you stand out from the crowd, they’re judging your professional skillset as well. If you struggle with writing college essays for your application, consider reading some sample college essays to find inspiration and expert tips. Or, if you’re looking for a more holistic guide to the graduate school application grind, think about seeking help from an MBA admissions consulting service.

Still working on your MBA Resume as well? Here are some tips:

Common MBA personal statement prompts

For personal statements, MBA programs will usually pose a question to applicants, which the admissions committee expects to be answered in essay format. While the questions will vary from program to program and likely change from year to year, there are some commonly asked questions you can prepare answers for ahead of time.

These questions often seem a lot like common job interview questions, but it’s important to remember that the answers should focus on your personal, professional, and academic achievements that can relate to your MBA success. Admissions committees provide these personal statement prompts to encourage students to self-reflect on their motivations, goals and perspectives, and then to share their insights and discoveries with the school. Graduate school programs may also ask for a statement of purpose to ask you further questions about yourself, so review some graduate school statement of purpose examples and tips for extra help. The key is delivering a personal answer while tying it back to the skills and qualities needed to succeed in business school. It’s also good preparation for the MBA interview questions !

There’s no magic formula when it comes to writing the perfect personal statement, but there are some key elements that should be included to pack more of a punch. Aside from being well-written, MBA personal statements need to contain the content admissions committees are looking for, be presented in the essay format they want, and they need to keep the readers’ attention.

Below we’ve highlighted a few things to keep in mind when creating your personal statement.

Use essay format

Your personal statement needs to be organized in an essay format. A sentence or a short paragraph won’t do. Admissions committees are looking for a little more content, and a bit more structure. The typical word count of an MBA personal statement is around 400-1,000 words, so think one to two pages long. Some programs may have very strict word count requirements, while others may not specify the word count but ask students to answer two essay questions.

Craft your personal statement just as you would an essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. Start with a brief introduction that captures the reader. Use the introduction to engage the reader and keep them reading until the end of the statement.

Follow this with 3 to 5 body paragraphs that dig a bit deeper into your answer to the prompt in front of you. Each body paragraph should elaborate on how you came to apply to MBA and what makes you a great candidate. Remember to always use examples to support your claims- in other words, “show, don’t tell” them your story!

The conclusion

For the conclusion, wrap up your statement neatly, impressing upon the reader that you are the right fit for the program. Your reader should be left with the incitement to action, namely, they should want to extend you an interview invitation.

Being able to master the short essay format will also show admissions committees that you have the writing chops needed to excel in their business program!

Keep in mind that personal statements are usually between 750 and 1,000 words, so they don’t need to be long, meaty essays. Be concise in your statement and cut out any unnecessary information or fluff that isn’t needed.

Have a compelling story

When writing your personal statement, it’s important to leave an impression. Admissions committees will remember a great narrative over another student with high marks in all their classes. Crafting a compelling narrative is easier said than done, but it can be done.

Consider the question being asked. Are they asking for a moment of personal achievement? Your greatest failure? Do they want to know what motivated you to apply for business school? From there, choose a significant moment in your life that relates to the question.

Tell the story of this personal moment, using narrative story structure to deliver it with the greatest impact. Story structure means taking the reader—the admissions committee—on a journey.

For example, a story about the time you decided to run a marathon might start with a bit of background on the race and why you decided to run it. Then it would talk about any obstacles or setbacks you faced in preparing for this challenge, and how you overcame them. In your essay, you could write about the race itself, your mindset and any unexpected difficulties like a twisted ankle, finishing with the result of you completing the marathon anyway or beating your personal best time. Discuss why this moment of personal triumph was significant to you and how it relates to your decision to apply to business school.

Use your natural voice

When writing your personal statement, it’s key to maintain your authenticity. It is, after all, a personal statement, so use your natural voice and style in your writing. Admissions committees appreciate unique voices, and it will be noticeable in your writing if you’re trying to be overly formal or adopt the style of another writer.

Remember that committees are asking who you are as a person. Being honest and natural in your responses will shine through with way more impact than trying to sound like the smartest person in the room or the most business-savvy applicant.

Prove your leadership qualities, be introspective and honest

No matter the essay question, it’s best to showcase your leadership qualities. Show admissions committees that you can be introspective and honest with yourself. They want to see proof of self-growth and self-reflection in the experiences you share in your personal statement.

Demonstrate your leadership as part of a team environment by highlighting the ways in which you built up your team or encouraged them. Show the admissions team that you have leadership over yourself as well, in your commitment to your goals, writing about how you saw a difficult project through to the end, or a moment of personal self-development in which you learned from past mistakes.

Share how you will contribute, and how the program will help you achieve your career goals

Lastly, draw attention to what contributions you can make to the school or program of your choice. Pump up your strengths and the unique perspective or skills you bring to the table. Present compelling arguments for why you should be chosen over others.

Also mention how the program you’ve chosen will contribute to your business education or help you achieve your career goals. Mention specific elements in the school’s culture or curriculum that you feel will be an asset to your education in business administration or your future in business.

Worried about your MBA Interview? These are some of the question types you can start preparing for:

What should be left out of an MBA personal statement?

Just as there are elements that need to be included in your MBA personal statement, there are parts to avoid as well. Some common mistakes in poorly written personal statements are making it too long, not proofreading or checking your work, and not answering the essay question effectively.

Below we’ve listed some key mistakes to avoid when writing your personal statement.

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Below we’ve provided 7 examples of great introductions, body paragraphs and conclusions of MBA personal statements, each answering the common types of essay questions we talked about above.

1. What motivated you to apply for this MBA program?

My family owns one of the oldest small businesses in our tight-knit community. I have always been proud to be a part of this family tradition, and it is my dream to open a small business myself. During the pandemic, I witnessed my parents and their fellow small business owners struggle to keep the doors open and the lights on. Many businesses, some of which had been here for decades, were ultimately unable to and had to close their doors for good. This was difficult for me, as it is not just a failing business, but an individual’s dream being shuttered. There are many hard-working small business owners in my community who simply could not compete or adapt to the changes of the past year. And they had no system to guide them on how to get back on their feet.

My dream to become an entrepreneur has now evolved; in the future, I want to create a company which incubates local start-up businesses. In working with [Company], I have developed my leadership and organizational skills, but an MBA from [University] will allow me to grow into a community-minded leader. With [Company], I have been fortunate to be able to lead a team of like-minded individuals, and see how both my actions, and the actions of the team, can lift up us all. It would be my goal to view my community of small business owners in the same way: as one unit that can be raised out of the circumstances we are all mired in.

[University’s] MBA program was my first choice because its foundational values align with my goals. With the program’s focus on the operation and management of small business, I believe it will provide me with the proper toolset to serve local business owners and up and coming start-ups. [University] also focuses on entrepreneurial leadership and development, which will be a great class to augment my existing skillset. The curriculum of this program will provide me with the necessary professional skills I need to succeed as a small business owner myself, particularly with its foundation of management, finance and leadership. Since the program also holds a high standard for innovative, exemplary leadership, I feel it will augment my developing leadership style and skills and mold me into becoming the kind of leader my community and its business owners need right now.

The small business owners in my community are like members of a family, and when they were faced with difficult times, I was amazed to see how they supported one another, and reached out to one another. My goal as a business incubator would be to provide a space for these businesses who were struggling or had to shutdown to restart again and get back on their feet. To have a community support system to reinvigorate them. It would also be a resource for any budding entrepreneurs in the community, who were scared off by these challenging times or simply don’t have the resources they need to get off the ground.

After graduating, I will achieve my dream of running a business incubator with the full guidance of my experiences inside and outside the classroom. With the skills I will have learned, I will be able to give back to my community and make a true impact on the lives of its small business owners. I am passionate about my goals, and deeply committed to making a real, tangible difference in my community’s business sector. I will take the lessons I’ll learn at [University] with me throughout my life and career in business and pass along the tools and skills I will have learned to the small business owners, like my parents, for whom it makes such an incredible difference.

2. Who do you most admire?

The businessperson I most admire is not a well-known titan of industry. Her name is [Name]. She is the founder of a not-for-profit organization which provides stray animals in need with care and housing, as well as educates on proper animal care. She has been my mentor as I have volunteered for her organization for the last 3 years. My passion for animals led me to volunteer with [Organization], but it was the incredible example set by [Name] which inspired me to further my professional goals and pursue an MBA. With an MBA degree, I can pour my experiences, skills, and passion into helping other not-for-profits like [Organization] succeed and continue to help animals. The world, particularly the not-for-profit sector, needs more leaders like her. She continues to inspire me with the commitment and passion she has for her business.

The reason I admire [Name] is because of her dedication to her business, her sense of responsibility to her team and the animals, and her vision in creating a better solution to stray overpopulation and pet abandonment. Every day, she works to educate pet owners on the problems organizations like hers face, and the effect on the animals and communities involved. People often misunderstand the work done by animal shelters and organizations like [Name’s], and it’s important to not only raise awareness but educate others on the real problems we are seeing everyday, and the proven solutions that can be provided. Overpopulation of strays and inadequate pet care often mean our shelters are at capacity, stressing our already taxed resources. It sometimes means we’re not able to accept an animal in need off the street, because someone else has returned a pet they weren’t prepared to care for.

[Name] puts everything she has into her business to ensure it runs in a responsible, organized way, from caring for the animals, to managing staff and customers. She tackles problems head-on, and she is involved in every step of the process to see where we can make improvements. Every year, she organizes our Adoption Day event and fundraiser. She sets up pens for potential pet owners to interact with our animals safely, signs up new shelter volunteers and accepts donations. And then she is in charge of educational presentations and a thank you speech in front of the crowd of our supporters and donors. She truly makes being an organized professional an artform. As part of the team, she is our leader by example, showing our team how to organize and set up a safe, fun and successful event. She leads from the front and shows us how to properly care for animals and advocate on their behalf.

[Name] is not only dedicated to her position as the team leader and head of the organization, but personally takes the time to do the work around the shelter and can fill in for any position flawlessly. She proves the importance of being able to multi-task, and how crucial it is to know every part of the business, when she shows our shelter volunteers how to clean out cages, maintain our animals’ physical health with grooming or properly delivering necessary medications, and how to socialize our animals with structured play with other animals and humans. She uses her creative thinking and innovation to keep finding ways the team can work smarter, not harder, and brainstorm ways that we can improve the lives of our animals. When our resources aren’t enough, or a piece of equipment breaks down, there is always another solution. When we didn’t have enough proper feeding and water bowls for our pets, she took it upon herself to recycle pieces of PVC pipe and plastic storage bins from our storage room to create a feeding and watering system that saved us time in caring for our animals and provided space for everyone during busy feeding times.

My mentor will always be an inspiration to me in the world of business for her leadership qualities and the way she executes her vision. Not only is she a prime example of a not-for-profit business owner, but she also never lets herself forget why she’s there, and she always shows up for her business. Working in the not-for-profit sector requires a surplus of passion, patience, integrity and dedication. It also requires superb organization, knowing your business inside and out, creativity and innovation. She demonstrates these qualities every single day, and inspires others to develop these qualities within themselves, too. [Name] is the best example I can think of a leader, a not-for-profit business owner and someone who truly cares about their mission. I hope to emulate the qualities she has shown and instilled in me in my future professional life.

3. Describe a time you led a team and what challenges you faced, how you overcame them.

The bulk of my professional experience has been as a member of team. I have been fortunate to have experience both being a part of and leading a team of talented and dedicated individuals. Working at [Newspaper] as chief layout editor, I consistently lead a team of 5 layout editors in creating and publishing a weekly paper. Journalism is a fast-paced environment that requires focus and collaboration. My team edited, laid out and approved a large volume of pages each week, working under tight deadlines. Our work requires adaptation and perseverance, and a fair amount of commitment to see things through to their deadlines and complete a project to the best of one’s ability. In my role as chief layout editor, I had the invaluable opportunity to develop my leadership style, grow as a leader, and prove to myself and my team that I can lead.

Within a newsroom, there are multiple departments all operating with a degree of separation from one another, but all key parts of the overall team. Normally, the department heads are in contact with one another to fix problems quickly where they come up and stay in contact throughout the publication process. My team of layout editors would inevitably run into a roadblock or have a question they needed to pose to another department head about the copy. Communications between departments were usually streamlined by being communicated exclusively through department heads. If a team member had a request, it went through me and on to the appropriate department head. Since department heads were not always available at the time the issue arose, I took the initiative to make it easier for my team to get the answers they needed to work, even if myself or the other department heads were absent. Through a shared Slack message board, members of my layout team could post a request or question to the related department. All team members of that department would be able to see the request and respond. Or, messages could be sent directly to the individual to answer the request.

Another major hurdle was ensuring every page that came through our hands kept to our strict style and layout guidelines. As team leader, it was my responsibility to clearly communicate our style and layout guidelines to my team members, providing a comprehensive guide for them to follow. This guide became a staple in the office and part of the package prepared for new hires. The guide helped new hires onboard more quickly and increased the team’s self-sufficiency. All pages being worked on were also visible to the entire team, so everyone knew who was working on what and how projects were progressing in real time, without the need for constant meetings and updates.

Leading my team at [Company] was a challenging but rewarding experience. In my responsibilities as team leader, I learned valuable lessons about the importance of transparency, clarity and advocacy in the workplace. I learned the importance of fostering an environment where the entire team could excel and be self-sufficient. Being a leader is about much more than delegating, fixing problems and guiding team members. In an environment as dynamic and fast-paced as a newsroom, I learned how to use my creative skills to improve the work environment. By making these seemingly small changes to our communications and operations, the team was able to thrive. Through my time as leader, I believe my best accomplishments were removing the team’s hurdles to productivity and efficiency. Once I did, my team showed me how adept they were at leading themselves.

My greatest personal achievement was also the realization of a lifelong dream. This year myself and my water polo team won the gold medal for the Junior Olympics. It has been my dream to become an Olympian since I was young and being awarded a gold medal for competing in my sport has been by far my proudest moment. Not only was this a significant feat of athleticism, perseverance, and dedication, it was an affirming moment for me personally. It proved what I was capable of once I set my mind to something. It showed me what my passion and hard work could bring me.

My journey as an athlete has taught me many important skills applicable to every area of my life. Water polo is a team sport, and I could not have succeeded in this personal victory without the hard work, encouragement, and help of my teammates. The team’s strengths and weaknesses must complement each other to form the best unit it can. And thinking and functioning as a team helps keep us sharp and focused. Being a part of a team also inspired me to push myself and constantly improve upon my own performance. During training with my team, I often had doubts about myself and my performance. I never viewed myself as the strongest link, and saw only how I fell short compared to my teammates in speed, strength or maneuverability in the water. My teammate, [Name], noticed how hard I was pushing myself and encouraged me to share my self-doubt with her. I carried her following pep talk with me to the gold medal match. She told me that our teammates all relied upon one another, but that we were also there to support each other. To complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. And she reminded me that my strengths were knowing who was the quickest, who was the strongest, and who was the best teammate for any given situation in a match. She pointed out that I had a knack for analyzing a situation quickly and immediately moving into position to support the teammate that needed it to maximize our chance of success in the round. Having the team’s expectations of me, knowing they were relying on me, but also supporting me, inspired me to be my best. To challenge myself and expand the limits of what I thought I was capable of.

Water polo is also a physically demanding sport, and my long hours of training and practice have taught me diligence, patience and perseverance, especially when there is a goal I am striving for. But frustration bubbles up in you when you don’t see results or even a shred of improvement. Self-doubt might creep in, because you know that even your best might just not be good enough. Not to mention, when you’re in the arena and all eyes are on you, it’s easy to get distracted. My self-doubt was keeping me from seeing my personal strengths, and the improvements I had made. The mix of frustration at lack of progress and determination to do better pushed me too hard. After my teammate’s inspiring talk, I started to focus on my strengths, playing out different match scenarios in my head and in the pool and practicing drills with my teammates to improve my reaction times.

I remember walking out and trying to tune out the noise and distractions. You run through the mental checklist, and you’re so focused you almost forget what’s coming next. It feels a bit like sleepwalking, because you’re not aware of what’s happening around you, but you don’t miss a thing. Everything you have practiced comes rushing back to you and you’re waiting for everything to start. When it does, there’s the snap to action. All your training is remembered in a single instant, and suddenly you’re ready for everything. Your team is with you, all of them connected to you, sharing the same thoughts. You don’t need to tune anyone out anymore, because the only thing that exists in your world is your team and the game. It’s almost hard to believe when the game is over and you come back to the real world. It’s a surreal feeling. And then you realize: we won.

Although I have achieved this personal goal through hard work and dedication to my sport, it has opened my eyes to the other possibilities still ahead of me. In achieving this milestone, it has made me strive to reach for the next rung on the ladder and keep improving myself in my sport and in my personal development. In achieving something I wasn’t always sure I could, I’ve shown myself what I’m capable of, and taught myself the value of challenging myself and growing myself.

Want to learn more about MBA courses? Check out this video:

5. How will you contribute to school’s diversity?

As a female entrepreneur, I know the unique perspectives and value I can bring to the table. Growing up with a grandmother who started her own business had a huge impact on me, as it taught me what women in business are capable of. Now, as a proud business owner myself, I can see how my personal journey affects my approach to business. My grandmother owned a small hardware store, and hers was the only store around for miles in a rural area. She knew each of her customers by name, and took the time to chat with each one, providing advice or recommendations on their home improvement projects. As a child, I was astounded by her depth of knowledge and how she always seemed to have an answer for everything. It inspired me to follow her and soak up the information she had. As we worked, she also provided me with gems like ‘if they come back with a smile on their face, you’ve done your job’.

When I built my business, I was focused on one mission: to help empower my fellow female entrepreneurs and business owners. Now that I have been in business for a few years, it still amazes me how often my clients share stories with me that echo my own. We share so much of our struggles, triumphs and experiences, and yet we each have our own story to tell. We all have different reasons for going into business for ourselves. Some of the best interactions I’ve had are when my clients share their stories with me. When I was still working with my grandmother in her shop, I was helping a young girl with a school project. She wanted to construct a birdhouse and needed some help finding the right materials. Unlike her classmates, she wanted to construct the most unique birdhouse possible. Something the most colourful birds would call home. Together, we went through the store picking out flashiest glitter, buttons and faux feathers we could find. The following week, she returned to proudly show off her birdhouse, the most colourful I have seen yet. Seeing the proud smile on her face and seeing the result of what I had helped to build, ignited the spark that has never left me. Knowing I was a part of her passion project, of helping it become a reality, fills me with the same pride I feel now helping other women to succeed in their business. Whenever a client tells me that I’ve given them the tools they never thought they’d have access to or given them the advice they never knew they needed to succeed, I know I’ve done my job.

As a female business owner, I bring my own special brand to my business. My business was built on my personal passions and values, and it shows in every interaction with my stakeholders, my employees and my clients. My motivation to pursue my MBA comes back to my grandmother’s words of wisdom in doing my job. Doing the best job I possibly can for my clients. And I know I can’t continue to grow, and provide my clients with my best work, without continuing to develop myself professionally. In pursuing my MBA, I am filling myself up with even more knowledge, even more skills, that I can pass onto those who need my help.

6. Talk about a personal failure and what you learned from it.

Even as a child, I was never good at accepting failure. Whatever I did, I wanted to excel. And I quickly grew disinterested in activities I didn’t have a natural talent for. While in life it is inevitable to experience failures, there is one incident in my personal life that stands out. A few years ago, I was training for a national track and field competition. Track and field was something I was effortlessly good at, and I knew I would have no trouble competing when I qualified for the race. I would be racing in the 100 m sprint, a category in which I excelled and was sure to win first place. Even though I was assured of my victory, I devoted myself to my training. It was important to me that I show my best efforts and impress.

Before my defining race, I was warming myself up, preparing myself for the feat of athleticism. I also sized up the competition, taking note of the strongest runners, as I usually did. It became a pre-race ritual for me, to mentally catalog my opponents and consider how their strengths and weaknesses matched up to mine. There was one runner I noticed and dismissed immediately for being the smallest and weakest-looking of the group. Unlike the rest of us, he wasn’t warming up for the upcoming race. He was sitting quietly on his own, concentrating only on himself and whatever mental pep talk he was running through his head. Thinking nothing of it, I approached the starting line and waited for the gun blast. As soon as it fired, I took off, digging my toes in and launching myself ahead of the pack. I was pushing my body to its limits to reach that finish line. I could see my opponents falling back, on my heels but unable to catch me as I sprinted with confident strides. But to my surprise, the small runner I had dismissed so easily was a pace ahead of me in my sightline. Determined to beat him, I poured everything I had into my sprint, feeling the effort burn through me. But it wasn’t enough. The runner effortlessly flew over the finish line before me, nabbing the first-place prize I had worked so hard for.

While my defeat in an arena I excelled in could have brought bitter disappointment, it was also a good reminder for me that we all fail. Competition is inevitable, and we should never grow complacent in the areas where we excel. If we stop growing, our competition will catch up to us quickly and unexpectedly. If we want to stay ahead of the game, it’s important to keep improving. Because even the best athletes continue to train to stay at the top. My fellow runner didn’t care about their competition, and they weren’t concerned about comparing themselves to others. They were solely focused on their goal, as any top athlete should and will be. This is a lesson I took to heart.

During this race, I did also beat my personal best time, so it showed me that even if I excel at something, there’s always room for improvement. It taught me that complacency is the enemy of my success. I was so satisfied with what I thought to be my peak performance. I had thought I was at the top of my game. But this experience showed me how wrong that was, and how important it is to keep growing and developing myself. I’ve learned that even with our best efforts, we can sometimes still fall behind. Sometimes, someone’s strategy will be better. Or they’ll be better prepared. But mostly, it showed me that instead of focusing on how I measure up to others, I need to shift my perspective and ask how I measure up to who I want to be. My goal now shouldn’t be to be the best, my aspiration should be to become the best version of myself I can possibly be.

7. What are your career aspirations?

Brewing has been my family’s calling for generations, from my father brewing backyard beer to my ancestors’ colourful history of distilling illegal spirits. Recipes have been passed down through the family, and we each have our own favourites and specialties. Some of us add unexpected flavours to our home brews. Others swear by old or superstitious techniques. Still other members of the family have kept their ‘secret ingredient’ close to the vest. Something I want to change is the fact that the family hobby has never quite grown out of the backyard. Because the other family tradition is in the sharing of a cup, and I think with the growing popularity of micro-breweries and micro-distilleries, other families might enjoy a taste of our traditions, too. In applying for this MBA program, I believe it will help me to achieve my dream of opening a micro-distillery. It has long been my goal to own my own business and incorporate my passion for brewing. Being a small business owner requires supreme organizational and management skills, which [School’s] program will provide me.

In opening my own micro-distillery, I will be able to share my passion with my customers. The area in which I grew up has a unique history of locally made spirits, and the ingredients that grow in the area cannot easily be found anywhere else. They provide an inimitable flavour profile and a taste of the local land that cannot be matched. It is my goal to carry on the proud traditions of my hometown region by opening my own micro-distillery, to share our unique regional flavours with the world. Although my dad has taught me his home-brewing techniques, I also have experience working for [Beer Brand] as a brewer. Learning the modern techniques of brewing has definitely expanded my skillset, although brewing the same brand of beer, using the standard recipe, doesn’t have the same passion in it. My work experience has rounded out my technical skill as a brewer, and it has also given me some insight into the operations of a business. I’ve seen firsthand what it takes to operate a small business, and I know I have more to learn in this area. I know if I want to succeed in turning my family tradition into a real business, I need to build up my business sense. 

To achieve my goal of owning my own micro-distillery, it is important to have a strong business sense behind the passion and big idea. I believe with this program I will add the leadership, management and operational skills I need to see my micro-distillery off the ground. My business will need a team, and I will need to develop myself as a leader to be able to choose and develop my employees. I know I will also need to learn the management skills that will allow me to help them be successful. It is my belief that this program will instill in me the soft skills I need to become the leader and teammate I need to become to see this venture succeed.

Writing an MBA personal statement is tricky, but it is a must for any business school application. By following the above tips or studying the examples we’ve provided in this guide, you’ll be well on your way to writing an awesome personal statement. Finally, if you are looking for more inspiration, check out our Harvard MBA personal statement examples . This renowned institution is well-known for its standards. If you can write a personal statement like this, you can get into any MBA program out there!

MBA personal statements are typically between 750 and 1,000 words.

An MBA personal statement is almost like a cover letter for a job application. It is written in essay form and should explain why you are the right choice for an MBA program. Your MBA personal statement should also highlight why you wish to attend the schools you're applying to and what you hope to do with your MBA.

Yes. Most MBA programs will ask for a personal statement as part of their application process.

A general rule of thumb is to include a strong personal narrative, compelling arguments for your candidacy and qualities or strengths you will bring to the program you’re applying for.

Yes. Usually, schools will change the essay question each application cycle. Though this may vary depending on the program.

Some of the most common personal statement essay questions relate to personal achievements, motivations for applying to business school or how you will contribute to the school’s MBA program.

Yes. Admissions committees will be expecting your personal statement to be in short essay format. If it’s not, it may lead your application to the rejection pile.

The simplest way is to study the short essay format, read the essay question, reflect on your personal experiences, and answer the question being asked!

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• Knowledge Base
• Applying to graduate school
• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

College essays

• College essay examples
• College essay format
• College essay style
• College essay length
• Diversity essays
• Scholarship essays

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Avoiding repetition
• Literature review
• Conceptual framework
• Dissertation outline
• Thesis acknowledgements
• Burned or burnt
• Canceled or cancelled
• Dreamt or dreamed
• Gray or grey
• Theater vs theatre

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• Business Management Personal Statement Examples

Applying to business management school? You will need a strong personal statement to support your university application. Use our business management personal statement examples as a guidance to write your own. Also, make sure to check other personal statement examples for more inspiration.

Business Management Personal Statement Example

The key to any successful business is good management. In order to adapt to the constant shifts of the global economy, businesses must apply methodical reasoning to people, processes, and technology. I have demonstrated a similarly flexible, adaptable approach to achieving my goals as a mature student with strong academic achievement in Administration and IT and extensive employment experience.

As soon as I graduated from school, I began working. However, as my desire to return to study grew, I combined my work experience with study to earn HNC and HND qualifications in Administration and IT. The IT component of this course has particularly intrigued me because of my interest in how technological processes impact business. It has also been fascinating to learn the theory behind the administrative and organizational practices I have implemented and observed throughout the years.

My experience as a news agent’s kid has given me hands-on experience in both financial and personnel management, including customer service, stock management, and liaising with suppliers. Having always been involved with business and management within the industry, it was perhaps not surprising when I decided to gain more experience in retail. In order to allow my passions for both the technological and financial aspects of these roles to flourish, I sought out experiences that allowed these passions to flourish. I used my expertise in providing excellent customer service while working as a Telephone Banking Advisor for Porta Wealth Management to counsel clients on the best services, weighing the benefits and drawbacks of various products in relation to their needs. Additionally, I was in charge of looking after databases, working on banking policies, and implementing rules set forth by the FSA. Moving between small, local firms and multinationals has allowed me to study the differences in administration and management, as well as how technology affects these.

As an ambitious student with a keen interest in business and management, I am constantly seeking out new ways to further my understanding and skill set. In my spare time, I delve into a diverse array of management techniques and put them into practice in both my personal and professional life, allowing me to achieve my goals and aspirations. One of the most prominent examples of this is my leadership experience as the Treasurer, and later the Chairperson, of my local Women’s Power Business Group. In this role, I have been actively involved in a variety of volunteer and fundraising initiatives, as well as organizing workshops to support isolated or vulnerable women and their children in my community. Not only has this role given me the fulfilment of making a difference, but it has also provided me with invaluable experience in implementing leadership, teamwork and administration skills in a real-world setting. I have also been able to infuse my other passions, such as my love for walking, by initiating annual sponsored events like a 5K walk for Breast Cancer Research. This unique blend of my interests and skills has allowed me to develop a well-rounded perspective and provided me with a valuable learning experience.

Having a natural inclination toward the management of people and processes as a persistent self-starter with a drive for improvement. As a result of consistently reflecting on myself in my studies and work, I have been able to identify areas for improvement and think critically about my own performance. In my undergraduate studies, I have not only honed this natural tendency but also gained knowledge on technology integration, which I believe will be crucial in the business world of the future. After graduation, I hope to utilize this knowledge and ability to make a significant impact. I’m determined to make a real impact in the business world, whether I start my own company or take on a key role within a larger organization.

Management Personal Statement Example

Being a very determined and studious individual academically, I knew a university degree was an obvious next step. In spite of my broad interests, I am drawn toward a law or business management degree. As far as Business is concerned, I chose it because of its complexity and intrigue. Management blends so seamlessly with everyday issues that I particularly enjoy. In taking the subject at A-Level, my interest has grown and matured, and I can view many businesses analytically and make suggestions regarding improvements. Law is an area which has interested me from an early age. I am an avid reader and believe that this habit is crucial when it comes to pursuing a career in law. I feel that my attributes make me an ideal candidate for the field as I possess a keen attention to detail and am intrigued by work that deals with contemporary social issues and the need to analyze and present evidence effectively. Additionally, I believe that the psychology coursework I have completed has helped me understand how people’s perspectives and recollections can be influenced by various factors. This type of work demands a certain level of self-assurance, which I am confident that I possess and can leverage to excel in the competitive sphere of law.

Throughout my career, I’ve had the opportunity to work in a diverse range of roles and environments, and this has helped me develop a broad range of skills. However, among all the experiences, I’ve had the privilege to work for Royal Worcester in the Debenhams store which I believe has been the most formative of all. Being a sales advisor in such a high-end company has taught me to have a self-assured demeanour, and I have also had to cultivate a good memory to be able to provide customers with accurate product knowledge.

Additionally, I was assigned the duty of training a new employee, demonstrating the great level of confidence my employers have in me.

From holding the role of form captain in secondary school to helping with the planning of large-scale festivities in college, my educational experiences have been quite useful to me. These kinds of responsibilities have enabled me to grow up and take my roles seriously, earning the respect of my coworkers. As English Prefect in Year 11, I was responsible for supporting the entire English department, which took up a significant amount of my time. I also had a piece I wrote against the mistreatment of women on French television published in the daily “Paris Local News” as a result of my interest in the French language. I was pleased to have my opinions represented.

I have always been passionate about languages and during secondary school, I took evening French classes. My dedication and hard work were recognized when I received the ‘The Best Student of the Year’ award for my outstanding performance. These classes required me to manage my time effectively, so my schoolwork did not suffer. Furthermore, being raised by German and French parents has helped me to achieve fluency in the language.

Aside from languages, sports and leisure activities have always been an interest of mine. In college, I used this passion to do charity work and raise money for ZBIN. One of my accomplishments includes raising £1050 and abseiling 120ft down London University. 

Additionally, I played netball for the local Netball Team and competed in the OGI UK Games for the Wembley Stallions AFC team. My performance was recognized with several trophies, as well as a gold and bronze medal in the long jump and javelin respectively.

How to write specific paragraphs of your statement:

I have always been fascinated by business and the way that companies and large organisations work. From my first steps, I have been an entrepreneur at heart, always finding ways to make a little extra money selling lemonade at the promenade or starting school projects. With my personal development, my interest in business has only intensified, and I have come to realise that business management is something I want to study at school. Read more in management personal statement examples .

I believe that a business management degree will open many doors for me and provide me with the flexibility to pursue a wide range of career paths. Whether I decide to start my own business or join an established company, I know that the skills and knowledge I gain will be invaluable. 

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Business School Personal Statement Examples

Browse our collection of Business School personal statement examples to inspire you to write your own unique statement.

My father was born in Tehran, Iran. He and his side of the family migrated to America as political refugees. My grandfather worked for the government at the time of the revolution, and when the political situation in the country changed, my father was added to a list of dissidents. My father understood what this meant for the safety of his family, so he made provisions to leave. He, my mother, and my grandparents first went to Britain to live with my mother’s cousin before moving to Chicago in the late eighties. After starting and failing multiple businesses, they started the Mohar Corporation in 1994. Read more >>

Everyone wants to be inspired by their leaders. History provides us with multiple examples of leaders who—for better (i.e., Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs) or for worse (Adolph Hitler)—inspired people to action and promoted change on such a major scale that the globe was forever changed. Although sources of inspiration are diverse, leadership remains a central factor in the extent to which individuals, especially on teams, are inspired to success or driven to failure. I believe that management—effective management—and leadership go hand in hand. Good managers know how to lead people and inspire change. Read more >>

James Broughton said, “The only limits are, as always, those of vision”. Truer words have never been spoken, for I believe that vision is the foundation upon which the impossible is built. Leadman University School of Business’ mission is centered on vision because, like me, the leadership of the institution believes that with a strong vision, students can go out and achieve the impossible. After all, everything is impossible until it has been done. Leadman has been producing visionary leaders for decades, and attending Leadman University School of Business is an integral part of the vision I have for myself and my future. Read more >>

My father was born in Holguin, Cuba. He and his side of the family migrated to America as political refugees. My grandfather worked for Castro at the time of the revolution, and when Castro became communist, he vowed to kill all his associates, necessitating my family’s departure. After starting and failing multiple businesses in the early 60s, they started the Esperanza Corporation in 1994. Over the last 10 years, I have helped grow this family business from a startup to a global company specializing in management. I have held many positions within the company, from sales manager to director, and I am looking to further my education in the hopes that I will gain the knowledge and skills necessary to not only take my business acumen to the next level but to positively impact the world at large. Read more >>

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Last updated March 5, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. For some people, the best way to start writing a personal statement is indeed just to start.

But for most writers, jumping right into the writing process is a daunting task. If you’ve never written a personal statement before, then how do you know where to begin?

That’s where example essays come in. There are millions of opinions in the college admissions world about whether or not students should read example essays. But here’s ours:

You absolutely should be reading example personal statements.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should read example personal statements

Reading example personal statements helps you understand why they work (or don’t work) in the admissions process.

Now, the point of reading them isn’t to copy them. It’s not even necessarily to be inspired by them.

Instead, the point of reading examples is to know what personal statements look like. Think about it: if you’d never seen a children’s book before, would you know how to write one? Probably not! Same goes for personal statements.

In this post, we show you some exceptional, solid, and need-to-be-improved personal statements.

And to help you understand how these essays function as personal statements, we’ve also gotten our team of former admissions officers to grade and provide feedback on each.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #4: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #5: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #6: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #7: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #8: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #9: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #10: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #11: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #12: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #13: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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Sample Personal Statement Business Analytics

by Talha Omer, MBA, M.Eng., Harvard & Cornell Grad

In personal statement samples by field.

Here is the personal statement of an applicant who got admitted to top Master’s in Business Analytics programs, including CMU, and MIT. For personal statement, the programs posed several questions to applicant, which the admissions committee expects to be answered in an essay form. The universities provide these personal statement prompts to encourage students to self-reflect and then to share their insights with the program.

The following essays are an example of a compelling story and reflect the original voice and personality of the applicant. Get inspiration from them and try to incorporate their strengths into your own personal statement.

Related Personal Statements 1) Sample Personal Statement in Advanced Analytics (admitted to NCSU) 2) Sample Personal Statement in Analytics (admitted to Georgia Tech) 3) Sample Personal Statement in Data Science and Analytics (admitted to CMU and Vanderbilt) 4) Sample Personal Statement in Management and Analytics (admitted to LBS)

In this Article

Personal Statement Prompt 1

Personal statement prompt 2, personal statement prompt 3, personal statement prompt 4.

Please attach to the application a brief narrative outlining your academic interests. Include any current or long-range interests in research, teaching or other professional objectives. Please describe these if you have progressed far enough in your career to have publications or other evidence of scholarly endeavour.

I want to play the critical role of a business strategist and capitalize on the most useful of the sophisticated technologies flooding modern businesses. In the short run, I want to set up a consulting firm which provides analytics-driven marketing solutions to large firms operating to deliver a consistent and easy buying experience for their customers. I would ideally like to leverage recent shifts in the marketing industry towards data, expand my consulting services across countries, and become a global leader in revolutionizing customer experience through data analytics.

I am an ideal candidate for the Business Analytics program due to my strong academic record as I graduated in Electrical Engineering with a cum laude GPA. My undergraduate has equipped me with extensive quantitative knowledge and technical experience around different themes in engineering. I’ve focused most of my studies on parametric analysis using different software like C++, VB, MySQL, Python and MATLAB. This was further honed when I joined Facebook’s Meta as an Analyst Software Engineer and, using MySQL, predicted patterns of interpersonal behaviour to optimally pair customers with an agent. Solving demand-related issues of customers from all around the globe, I have become aware of the mismatches between marketing outreach and customers’ buying needs. Therefore, I aspire to influence global customers’ marketing experience by investigating ways in which customer needs can be well aligned with the sales strategies of firms supplying goods online.

To materialize my aspirations into a successful reality, I want to glean more information on predicting customer behaviours and matching it with the right promotion offers since it ideally dovetails with my professional expertise in using MySQL to predict patterns of interpersonal behaviour to optimally pair customers with an agent. While I developed a strong skillset in matching commercially available information to determine successful behavioural interaction patterns, I plan to extend my research pursuits by exploring the right mix of traditional and digital marketing vehicles.

Beyond the classroom, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to learn from and collaborate with the influential faculty and the Center and Laboratory for Behavioral Operations and Economics’ endeavours to solve critical IT-related decisions that advance company performance. In particular, the techniques of Professor Gary Bolton in experimenting with real-world trading markets within laboratory settings are foundational for my current work. Moreover, they will equip me with experimenting tools through which I can excel in my future career. Moreover, my future aspirations require strong leadership qualities recognized in a data-driven world. For this purpose, I would greatly benefit from The Leadership Center’s four dynamic offerings to mould my personality into a global leader’s persona.

Lastly, I will exploit the strong placement services and gain access to leading consulting companies where I can seek pro bono consulting opportunities and enhance my problem-solving acumen. I am also confident in acquiring the necessary communication skills to present solutions to Product Managers, Sales Associates, Engineers, and Marketing Teams for effective decision-making.

Thus, to sum up, owing to my strong academic credentials and professional expertise in applying artificial intelligence, I am confident of fully utilizing vibrant opportunities at Master in Business Analytics and converting it into an ideal segue for my future career aspirations.

Introduce yourself to your future classmates in 100 words or less.  

I have a passion for entrepreneurship, and during my sophomore year, I laid the foundations of the “ pay as you play”  console gaming platform and earned $4,000 a month. I have strong interpersonal skills and have won five national debating championships and represented at various national and international competitions. I am a fighter and showed great resolve in fighting acute liver failure, which I suffered in my junior year. I am a risk taker and quit my high-paying job at Unilever to start my venture of connecting home-cooked food suppliers with potential buyers.

What professional experiences have made you determine that business school is the right next step? (150 words)  

I pitched a business idea named Homestove – a food sharing application based on the B2C model. The business idea was successful as it won a substantial seed funding. Encouraged by its traction, I spearheaded its execution of supplying home-cooked food to potential buyers. However, the main factor I overlooked was doing intensive data analytics based on the market’s demographics. The locus I initially defined was 8 km, which was far from optimal. As a result, it created a mismatch between the area from where demand was being generated and where the chef was supplying the home-cooked food. Consequently, we incurred a considerable loss and customer dissatisfaction because of extended delivery times. Therefore, to avoid such losses, I strongly need a degree based on data management, technology, and analytics to create an ideal operations model for my business.

What career do you plan to pursue after business school and why? (150 words)

In the short run, I would restructure my business model by carefully analyzing the individual-level micro-data. Ideally, I aim to optimize my operations, mitigate the mismatch of distances between chefs and potential buyers, and reclaim the currently lost market share. If successful, I would like to expand my business to other metropolitan cities of US.

In the long run, alongside my business, I would like to provide consulting services to other tech-based startups suffering from a lack of operational optimization of their business. Unfortunately, despite having a lot of potential, most tech-based startups fail because of a lack of proper training in operational research. Consequently, they are unable to sustain themselves and run out of funding. I want to provide such firms consulting based on data analytics, business insights and marketing so they can harness themselves and become profitable.

Is there anything not addressed elsewhere in the application that you would like the Admissions Committee to know about you to evaluate your candidacy? (300-word maximum)

During my senior year, I got recruited by British American Tobacco after winning their battle of mental challenges. They had devised stringent criteria based on a rigorous aptitude test. Additionally, they assigned a group-based project related to any issue in public policy. I was the team lead and submitted a basic blueprint idea for using solar panels for domestic power needs. The basic plan was that the cost of these solar panels, being the main hindrance, would be offset once the government provided low-interest loans to homeowners to power their own houses. The savings on electricity bills would then be used to pay off the loans. It was an innovative idea that was well crafted after hundreds of hours of hard work. For example, my team and I conducted a rigorous field activity and accumulated over 400 bills from different homes in Frederick, Maryland to prove that using solar panels would not cost anything extra to these houses. We won the competition based on our innovative idea, and I was later called for an interview. Later, I was selected as MT and five other candidates out of 7000 applicants. I worked there for two years and eventually moved to Unilever. However, I always wanted to create social value and impact the lives of others, so after a brief stint at Unilever, I started my venture.

Describe a situation in your life where you failed to achieve a goal. What did you learn from this experience? (Max. 400 words)

I pitched a business idea named Homestove – a food sharing application based on the B2C model. The app’s primary purpose was to create local clusters where domestic chefs and homemakers market and sell their food to potential buyers within a particular locus. The business idea was successful as it was selected at top incubators and won a substantial seed funding award. Encouraged by its traction, I spearheaded its execution  to become a pioneer in supplying home-cooked food to potential buyers . The main factor I overlooked was doing intensive market research based on the market’s demographics. Due to a lack of in-depth data analysis, the locus I initially defined was an 8km radius, which was far from optimal. As a result, it created a mismatch between the area from where demand was being generated and where the chef was supplying the home-cooked food. Consequently, we levied a considerable cost of transportation and customer dissatisfaction because of extended delivery timings. The  goal of becoming a pioneer not only failed severely , but the loss’s extent was so much that it even eroded our initial seed funding. 

Although I failed in my initial ambition, my failure taught me deep insights into this business. Therefore, I am not let down by this experience. Instead, it has given me a direction leading me to future success. I realize that I conceded this partly because I didn’t discount some factors but, more importantly, because I lacked the necessary skill set. I realized that had I had better analysis skills in synthesizing microeconomic data, I would have developed a better spatial model of the business. I also felt that I needed to hone my skills in optimizing the operations of this business so that the mismatch between consumer and food supplier localities is mitigated. 

My more profound understanding of my failure and firm resolve to stand up again only point in one direction. And that is to pursue a Master’s degree in Business Analytics, where I can bolster my quantitative research skills and get international exposure to similar business models. I am therefore confident that a Master’s degree in Business Analytics will go a long way in pursuing my career goals and ambitions.

You just entered the elevator with a member of the Applicant Review Committee for the MS in Business Analytics. You can only speak to this person on the elevator for a short time. What would you say to this individual so that they would look favorably upon your application? (Max. 250 words)

During my senior year, I was inducted as Management Trainee by British American Tobacco after aced their “Battle of Minds” challenge. I was among the top 5 candidates out of other 7,000 aspirants. I worked there for almost two years, and after a very brief stint at Unilever, one of the leading multinationals, I decided to start my business venture. I looked for seed funding programs and pitched them my idea of supplying home-cooked food to potential buyers. The business idea won a substantial seed funding award. The idea was unique and covered on the local news channels during their prime-time transmission. After initial success, I experienced a downturn in my business. I realized the need to hone my quantitative analysis skills, particularly focusing on the operational optimization of business ventures. While searching for programs, I was excited by the curriculum. The vibrant community and home to more than 400 businesses, is an ideal place to learn and build new experiences. Additionally, the business analytics research centre is a perfect platform where I can test new quantitative research methods to calibrate the optimal spatial model of my business. In short, my strong credentials and desire to learn more align with the core values of the program in Business Analytics and will be ideal for fulfilling my career ambitions. 

One of our core values is Integrity. What does academic integrity mean to you? (250 words or less)

Academic integrity to me means being honest first and foremost to myself and anyone else. For me, it’s a way of life beyond just being honest in academic writing and following rules and regulations. I have stood up for academic sanctity, even against my friends and peers and have never tolerated slight slip-ups. I clearly remember how I had to take a firm stand against my group fellows in a Finance course when they were inclined to plagiarize a business idea. Additionally, when I started my undergraduate, I had many problems with citing during my writing courses. I wanted to learn and uphold academic integrity, so I took an additional paid online course to understand and master the art of referencing and citations. I have ensured that I take academic integrity beyond my university. As an entrepreneur, I have created a platform where cooks from around the city supply food to various customers. Dealing with almost 40 such cooks, I have ensured everyone is treated equally and honestly. For this purpose, I have developed systems where my employees’ names and background details are encrypted against an identification number so that my judgment remains impartial towards them. These are just some notable instances. Still, throughout my life, I have not let my moral guard down and confidently say that my ethical code of conduct strongly resonated with the core value of integrity.

Describe your experience using Excel, Databases or Software Tools. How has this influenced your decision to pursue a career in analytics? (250 words or less)

During my undergraduate studies, I worked with advanced Excel and basic STATA for various courses involving small and medium datasets. However, I realized a massive handicap of advanced data analytics when I started my business venture. I started a business named Homestove – a food sharing application based on the B2C model. Due to a lack of in-depth data analysis, the locus I initially defined was an 8 km radius, which was far from optimal. As a result, it created a mismatch between the area from where demand was being generated and where the chef was supplying the home-cooked food. I realized that had I had better analysis skills in synthesizing microeconomic data, I would have developed a better spatial model of the business. I also felt that I needed to hone my skills in optimizing the operations of this business so that the mismatch of consumer and food suppliers’ localities is mitigated. My deeper understanding of my failure and firm resolve to stand up again only point in one direction: to pursue a Master’s degree in Business Analytics. Through this, I can bolster my quantitative research skills and get international exposure to similar business models.

What is your target industry post-graduation? What impact do you want to make in your industry using analytics? (250 words or less)

In the short run, I would like to restructure my business model by carefully analyzing the individual data. Ideally, I aim to optimize my operations and mitigate the mismatch of the distance between chefs and potential buyers and reclaim the currently lost market share. If successful, I would like to expand my business to other metropolitan cities. In the long run, alongside my business, I would like to provide consulting services to other tech-based startups suffering from a lack of operational optimization of their business. Unfortunately, despite having a lot of potential, most tech-based startups fail because of a lack of proper training in operational research. As a result, they cannot sustain themselves and run out of funding. I would like to provide such firms with the necessary training based on data analytics, business insights and marketing to harness themselves and become profitable.

Please provide any additional information you would like to bring to the admissions committee’s attention. (250 words or less)

I have a keen sense of developing businesses from simple ideas of human needs. During my sophomore year, I developed a passion for console gaming. However, I soon realized my limited options as each game cost around $50. It was my handicap that I started my first business. I formed a virtual club initially with only 17 of my friends who could play up to 17 other games by only paying an additional fee of $20 per day. By the following year, my club had 123 members across various cohorts. Just by renting the games I bought from the initial deposits; I earned as much as $4,000 per month. 

When I joined Unilever, I had many problems having lunch at the office. So, I searched for cooks nearby my office and found a lady who was ready to supply it. Her food was tasty, and soon she had five customers from our office. This gave me an idea to lay down the foundations of Homestore – a food-sharing B2C modelled application. The application’s primary purpose was to create local clusters where domestic chefs and housewives marketed and sold their food to potential buyers within a particular locus. The idea was well received as it won seed funding and got promoted on local news channels’ prime-time transmission. Currently, I am running this business, but I need a data analytics degree to smoothen operations so that I can increase the impact of my venture. 

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Business and Management Personal Statement

Business is one of the most important components of modern life, and I find its dynamic and interdisciplinary nature very interesting. Having enjoyed studying Business Studies at GCSE and A level, I would like to further my knowledge and learn more about management theory and how different organisations operate in the Global economy. I look forward to applying my learning, and developing practical managerial skills, by undertaking a work placement in industry to enhance my undergraduate study.

I am an extremely self-motivated, organised and diligent student, who achieves in both independent and group working environments. The research and planning involved in my EPQ project, entitled, 'To what extent is branding the most important influence on consumer preferences of coffee shops?' is enhancing my self-study and organisation skills, and allowing me to utilise some of the business theories that I have studied. My A level subjects provide me with skills that complement my study of business. In geography, collecting primary and secondary data before analysing the results has developed my sampling and data handling skills. Cross-over topics include globalisation and demographics, which have helped my understanding of the world within which organisations operate. In history, a subject requiring investigation and review of different historians' interpretations of past events, I have developed my analytical and critical thinking skills. These skills are invaluable in business today, especially in the decision-making process.

I am an active member of my school's Sixth Form council, which has strengthened my oral presentation and problem-solving skills, as the council is based on finding solutions, through discussion, to issues raised. I have volunteered as a prefect and both an educational and peer supporter; responsible positions which required communication skills and maturity to assist lower year students. Through completing work experience at Waitrose, I gained an insight into the world of work, learning about the importance of customer service in the retail sector. I participated in the daily managers' meeting which reinforced the importance to me of leadership, teamwork and communication in business.

In addition, I was a member of the winning team in a school-wide Business Smart Programme that required us to generate and pitch a business idea to senior staff and an external business owner. These experiences confirmed my career aspirations are definitely within the area of Business Management. In addition to extra curricular school responsibilities, playing tennis has been my passion for a number of years and I regularly represent my tennis club's adult first teams in local leagues. Through competing in singles tournaments, I have progressed to an LTA rating of 5.2, which required significant perseverance and commitment to achieve. I am a trained tennis coaching assistant and have a part-time job helping to deliver junior lessons at my club. This allows me to apply my leadership, planning and communication skills to organise a group of young players who require clear, concise and structured direction in order to improve their game. I also captain a local table tennis team and have represented Chelmsford in the National Junior League. Playing so much sport whilst studying has required me to effectively prioritise and manage my time. Undertaking the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze, Silver and Gold awards has allowed me to participate in many varied activities and learn the importance of leadership, co-operation and determination to successfully overcome challenging situations and enjoy team expeditions.

I am very much looking forward to studying a degree in Business and Management at university to further both my theoretical business knowledge and its practical application into the 'real world'. I will grasp every opportunity available and am excited to face the challenges that university life has to offer.

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Small Business Trends

10 disclaimer examples.

Owning a business comes with risk, but you want to limit unnecessary risk wherever possible. A disclaimer is a simple statement that may dramatically impact your legal liability. Including one on your website footer, products, or client agreements can go a long way toward protecting your business. Here’s a guide to these statements.

What is a Disclaimer Statement?

A disclaimer is a statement that specifies or places limits on a business or individual’s legal liability. For example, a company’s disclaimer statement may state that they cannot be held responsible if their products or services are used without following instructions in the owner’s manual.

They can also be used to limit an individual’s liability when sharing tips or opinions. Some disclaimers are required by law, while others are just a good idea to prevent lawsuits or disputes. You can also create a funny email disclaimer if you don’t want to take yourself seriously.

How do I Write a Disclaimer?

Crafting a disclaimer requires a balance between clarity and comprehensiveness. A well-written disclaimer should clearly articulate the limitations of your liability and professional responsibilities. Here are key steps and tips to guide you in writing an effective disclaimer:

• Be Clear and Direct : Use simple and straightforward language to ensure that your disclaimer is easily understandable by your audience. Avoid legal jargon or complex terms that could confuse the reader.
• Specify Limitations : Clearly outline the specific limitations of your liability. For instance, if you’re providing advice, state that it shouldn’t be taken as a substitute for professional consultation. If selling products, clarify the scope of your responsibility regarding the use or misuse of those products.
• Be Comprehensive, Yet Concise : While it’s important to cover all necessary aspects, avoid making the disclaimer excessively lengthy. A concise, well-crafted disclaimer is more likely to be read and understood by your customers.
• Customize to Your Business : Generic disclaimers may not adequately cover the unique aspects of your business. Tailor your disclaimer to address the specific operations, products, or services you offer. This customization is particularly crucial if your business operates in a niche industry or provides specialized services.
• Use Disclaimer Generators as a Starting Point : Online disclaimer generator tools and templates can be a good starting point. However, it’s important to modify and adapt these generic templates to fit your specific business needs. Add or remove clauses to ensure that all aspects of your business are covered.
• Seek Legal Advice : Especially for businesses in highly regulated industries, or those dealing with complex liability issues, it’s advisable to seek legal counsel. A lawyer can help ensure that your disclaimer is legally sound and fully protective of your interests.
• Regular Updates : Keep your disclaimer up-to-date with changes in your business operations, products, services, and relevant laws. Regularly revisiting and updating your disclaimer ensures its continued effectiveness.

By following these guidelines, you can write a disclaimer that effectively minimizes legal risks, clarifies your liabilities, and aligns with your business’s operations and offerings. Remember, a well-crafted disclaimer is an integral part of your risk management strategy and contributes to building trust with your customers.

Customizing Your Disclaimer

Customizing Your Disclaimer is a critical step in ensuring that your disclaimer effectively addresses the specific risks and operations of your business. A one-size-fits-all approach is rarely sufficient. Tailor your disclaimer to reflect the unique aspects of your products, services, and customer interactions.

For instance, if your business operates online, include clauses relevant to online transactions, digital content, and user interactions. For a service-oriented business, focus on aspects like service outcomes, client responsibilities, and limitations of your professional advice. Review industry-specific legal requirements to ensure your disclaimer covers all necessary bases.

Types of Disclaimer

There are several types of disclaimers that are applicable to various individuals and businesses. When crafting your own, it helps to be specific in your searches. For example, search “trigger warning disclaimer examples,” “email disclaimer examples,” “product disclaimer examples,” or “views expressed disclaimer examples” instead of browsing through tons of generic templates.

Here are some of the most common types of disclaimers:

• Responsibility disclaimer
• Fair use disclaimer
• Past performance disclaimer
• Copyright disclaimer
• Warranty disclaimer
• Risk disclaimer
• Medical disclaimer
• Errors or omissions disclaimer

Legal Considerations for Disclaimers

Legal Considerations for Disclaimers should not be overlooked. While disclaimers are a vital tool for mitigating liability, their legal effectiveness can vary. Courts will consider the clarity, visibility, and reasonableness of a disclaimer when determining its enforceability.

Overly broad or hidden disclaimers might not hold up legally. This is particularly relevant in sectors with stringent regulations, like healthcare or finance.

Therefore, consulting with legal experts to draft or review your disclaimer is highly advisable. They can help ensure that your disclaimer is not only clear and fair but also compliant with current laws and regulations in your jurisdiction.

10 Disclaimer Statement Examples

The type of disclaimer you include on your website or other materials depends on your business and the type of liability you want to avoid. Here are some types of common disclaimers.

1. Testimonial Disclaimer

A testimonial disclaimer specifies that the experiences or results shared in a testimonial are not guaranteed. A disclaimer protects the business from unhappy clients who may believe they were promised certain results.

2. Affiliate Disclaimer

An affiliate disclaimer lets anyone using your website know that you may share links from affiliate companies. A disclaimer lets customers know that you earn a commission from these sales, allowing them to make informed buying decisions.

3. Trademark Disclaimer

Including trademarked product or brand names on your website or marketing materials may be misleading. A trademark disclaimer specifies that you are not affiliated with these other brands.

4. Copyright Disclaimer

A copyright disclaimer states that certain elements of a business, website, or other materials are protected by copyright. This may include things like photos or text within a website or app. It may also lay out how others can and cannot use these materials.

5. Views Expressed Disclaimer

A views expressed disclaimer is often used when an individual or group shares opinions within a forum associated with a business. Many organizations require or encourage employees to use these disclaimers when sharing views online.

6. Warranty Disclaimer

Warranty disclaimers state that a product or service, or any information provided by a company, is not protected by warranty.

7. Fair Use Disclaimer

U.S. law allows some copyrighted material to be used without permission if it is for education, criticism, or commentary. This type of disclaimer states your use of this material and specifies that you don’t have direct permission from the copyright owner.

8. Errors and Omissions Disclaimer

Those who share professional advice online may be vulnerable to errors and omissions lawsuits. These are especially common with things like legal advice or investment advice. These disclaimer types limit your liability if someone suffers damages due to your guidance.

9. Past Performance Disclaimer

If you share successes on your website, some could construe that as a guarantee. This disclaimer of liability states that you cannot guarantee those results.

10. Legal Disclaimer

Sharing legal advice online can open you up to lawsuits. This disclaimer states that your content is for general informational purposes so you cannot be held responsible.

Disclaimer Template

Every business needs a disclaimer to protect itself from potential liabilities and to set clear expectations for its users. While each disclaimer should be tailored to the specific business and its offerings, using a template can serve as a helpful starting point. Here’s a more comprehensive outline you can customize to suit your needs:

• General Information: The information provided on this website is intended for general informational purposes only. It should not be considered as professional advice or a substitute for seeking professional guidance.
• No Warranty: [Business name] makes no representation or warranty, express or implied, regarding the accuracy, completeness, reliability, or availability of the content on this site. The use of the information is at the user’s own risk.
• Not Financial, Legal, or Medical Advice: The content on this website does not constitute financial, legal, medical, or any other professional advice. Users should consult with the relevant professionals for specific advice related to their situation.
• Third-Party Links: This website may contain links to third-party websites or content. These links are provided for convenience only, and [Business name] does not endorse, warrant, or assume liability for the content or practices of these third-party sites.
• No Endorsement: The presence of any link or reference to a third-party website, product, or service does not imply an endorsement or recommendation by [Business name].
• No Guarantee of Results: [Business name] does not guarantee any specific results or outcomes based on the use of its products, services, or information provided on this website.
• Copyright and Intellectual Property: All content, including text, images, logos, and graphics, on this website is the property of [Business name] and is protected by applicable copyright and intellectual property laws.
• Changes and Updates: [Business name] may update, modify, or remove any information on this website without prior notice. It is the user’s responsibility to stay informed of any changes.
• Indemnification: By using this website, users agree to indemnify and hold harmless [Business name] from any claims, damages, losses, or liabilities arising from their use of the site.
• Governing Law: This disclaimer shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of [your jurisdiction], and any disputes arising out of or in connection with this disclaimer shall be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts in [your jurisdiction].

Remember to review and customize this template according to your business’s specific needs and consult legal counsel if necessary to ensure it aligns with your operations and protects your interests appropriately.

Do I need a disclaimer?

Most businesses and websites can benefit from a disclaimer. They are especially useful if you include any copyrighted material or share professional advice or personal views.

Where do I put my disclaimer?

For a disclaimer to be legally viable, it must be visible to users. Many businesses put them in their website footer, a separate page, product pages, or in their terms and conditions agreement.

Updating Your Disclaimer

Updating Your Disclaimer is as important as creating it. Your business will evolve, laws will change, and new risks may emerge. Regularly review and update your disclaimer to reflect these changes. An outdated disclaimer may not offer the necessary legal protection.

A good practice is to review your disclaimer annually or whenever significant changes occur in your business model, product line, or regulatory environment. Involve legal counsel in this process to ensure that your disclaimer stays relevant and robust against emerging risks and legal shifts.

Navigating the business landscape inevitably involves managing various risks. For entrepreneurs keen on safeguarding their ventures, one key strategy is the effective use of disclaimers.

Far from being just simple statements, disclaimers serve as a crucial shield against legal liabilities and play a vital role in protecting your business’s interests.

This guide has delved into the essence of disclaimer statements, offering insights into their creation, customization, and the diverse types that cater to different business needs. The essence of a disclaimer lies in its ability to delineate the legal boundaries of a business or individual’s responsibilities.

Whether it’s stating non-liability for product misuse or setting clear parameters when offering advice, disclaimers help in pre-empting potential legal disputes and misunderstandings.

Crafting a disclaimer is not necessarily an overwhelming task. The objective is to be precise and succinct, explicitly demarcating your professional limitations and responsibilities.

While templates and generator tools offer a starting point, personalizing your disclaimer to fit your business’s unique context is key. This customization ensures that the disclaimer resonates with your specific operations and adequately addresses your liability concerns.

The range of disclaimers available is diverse, each designed to address specific legal aspects:

• Testimonial Disclaimers safeguard against expectations of guaranteed results based on customer testimonials.
• Affiliate Disclaimers maintain transparency about potential commissions on sales through affiliate links.
• Trademark Disclaimers clarify non-affiliation with mentioned trademarked products or brands.
• Copyright Disclaimers protect your intellectual property while stipulating usage rules for your content.
• Views Expressed Disclaimers dissociate personal opinions from organizational stances in professional contexts.
• Warranty Disclaimers state the absence of guarantees with your products or services.
• Fair Use Disclaimers align with copyright law for educational or critical uses of copyrighted material.
• Errors and Omissions Disclaimers limit liability for potential damages from professional advice.
• Past Performance Disclaimers clarify that historical successes don’t assure future results.
• Legal Disclaimers underscore that provided content is informational, not a substitute for professional advice.

Leveraging a disclaimer template is practical, but remember, the effectiveness of a disclaimer is significantly enhanced by tailoring it to your business’s unique operations. When in doubt, consulting with legal experts can ensure your disclaimer is not only comprehensive but also adheres to relevant laws and regulations.

In summary, integrating well-crafted disclaimers into your business practices is not just a legal formality; it’s a strategic move towards minimizing legal exposure and reinforcing the credibility and reliability of your business.

Image: Depositphotos

Explanation with examples is great. thanks

We are starting an indoor bowls club at our local village hall but not sure what to put into a disclaimer .Any help would be greatly appreciated thanks.Col Bradshaw

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NPR defends its journalism after senior editor says it has lost the public's trust

David Folkenflik

NPR is defending its journalism and integrity after a senior editor wrote an essay accusing it of losing the public's trust. Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images hide caption

NPR is defending its journalism and integrity after a senior editor wrote an essay accusing it of losing the public's trust.

NPR's top news executive defended its journalism and its commitment to reflecting a diverse array of views on Tuesday after a senior NPR editor wrote a broad critique of how the network has covered some of the most important stories of the age.

"An open-minded spirit no longer exists within NPR, and now, predictably, we don't have an audience that reflects America," writes Uri Berliner.

A strategic emphasis on diversity and inclusion on the basis of race, ethnicity and sexual orientation, promoted by NPR's former CEO, John Lansing, has fed "the absence of viewpoint diversity," Berliner writes.

NPR's chief news executive, Edith Chapin, wrote in a memo to staff Tuesday afternoon that she and the news leadership team strongly reject Berliner's assessment.

"We're proud to stand behind the exceptional work that our desks and shows do to cover a wide range of challenging stories," she wrote. "We believe that inclusion — among our staff, with our sourcing, and in our overall coverage — is critical to telling the nuanced stories of this country and our world."

NPR names tech executive Katherine Maher to lead in turbulent era

She added, "None of our work is above scrutiny or critique. We must have vigorous discussions in the newsroom about how we serve the public as a whole."

A spokesperson for NPR said Chapin, who also serves as the network's chief content officer, would have no further comment.

Praised by NPR's critics

Berliner is a senior editor on NPR's Business Desk. (Disclosure: I, too, am part of the Business Desk, and Berliner has edited many of my past stories. He did not see any version of this article or participate in its preparation before it was posted publicly.)

Berliner's essay , titled "I've Been at NPR for 25 years. Here's How We Lost America's Trust," was published by The Free Press, a website that has welcomed journalists who have concluded that mainstream news outlets have become reflexively liberal.

Berliner writes that as a Subaru-driving, Sarah Lawrence College graduate who "was raised by a lesbian peace activist mother ," he fits the mold of a loyal NPR fan.

Yet Berliner says NPR's news coverage has fallen short on some of the most controversial stories of recent years, from the question of whether former President Donald Trump colluded with Russia in the 2016 election, to the origins of the virus that causes COVID-19, to the significance and provenance of emails leaked from a laptop owned by Hunter Biden weeks before the 2020 election. In addition, he blasted NPR's coverage of the Israel-Hamas conflict.

On each of these stories, Berliner asserts, NPR has suffered from groupthink due to too little diversity of viewpoints in the newsroom.

The essay ricocheted Tuesday around conservative media , with some labeling Berliner a whistleblower . Others picked it up on social media, including Elon Musk, who has lambasted NPR for leaving his social media site, X. (Musk emailed another NPR reporter a link to Berliner's article with a gibe that the reporter was a "quisling" — a World War II reference to someone who collaborates with the enemy.)

When asked for further comment late Tuesday, Berliner declined, saying the essay spoke for itself.

The arguments he raises — and counters — have percolated across U.S. newsrooms in recent years. The #MeToo sexual harassment scandals of 2016 and 2017 forced newsrooms to listen to and heed more junior colleagues. The social justice movement prompted by the killing of George Floyd in 2020 inspired a reckoning in many places. Newsroom leaders often appeared to stand on shaky ground.

Leaders at many newsrooms, including top editors at The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times , lost their jobs. Legendary Washington Post Executive Editor Martin Baron wrote in his memoir that he feared his bonds with the staff were "frayed beyond repair," especially over the degree of self-expression his journalists expected to exert on social media, before he decided to step down in early 2021.

Since then, Baron and others — including leaders of some of these newsrooms — have suggested that the pendulum has swung too far.

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New York Times publisher A.G. Sulzberger warned last year against journalists embracing a stance of what he calls "one-side-ism": "where journalists are demonstrating that they're on the side of the righteous."

"I really think that that can create blind spots and echo chambers," he said.

Internal arguments at The Times over the strength of its reporting on accusations that Hamas engaged in sexual assaults as part of a strategy for its Oct. 7 attack on Israel erupted publicly . The paper conducted an investigation to determine the source of a leak over a planned episode of the paper's podcast The Daily on the subject, which months later has not been released. The newsroom guild accused the paper of "targeted interrogation" of journalists of Middle Eastern descent.

Heated pushback in NPR's newsroom

Given Berliner's account of private conversations, several NPR journalists question whether they can now trust him with unguarded assessments about stories in real time. Others express frustration that he had not sought out comment in advance of publication. Berliner acknowledged to me that for this story, he did not seek NPR's approval to publish the piece, nor did he give the network advance notice.

Some of Berliner's NPR colleagues are responding heatedly. Fernando Alfonso, a senior supervising editor for digital news, wrote that he wholeheartedly rejected Berliner's critique of the coverage of the Israel-Hamas conflict, for which NPR's journalists, like their peers, periodically put themselves at risk.

Alfonso also took issue with Berliner's concern over the focus on diversity at NPR.

"As a person of color who has often worked in newsrooms with little to no people who look like me, the efforts NPR has made to diversify its workforce and its sources are unique and appropriate given the news industry's long-standing lack of diversity," Alfonso says. "These efforts should be celebrated and not denigrated as Uri has done."

After this story was first published, Berliner contested Alfonso's characterization, saying his criticism of NPR is about the lack of diversity of viewpoints, not its diversity itself.

"I never criticized NPR's priority of achieving a more diverse workforce in terms of race, ethnicity and sexual orientation. I have not 'denigrated' NPR's newsroom diversity goals," Berliner said. "That's wrong."

Questions of diversity

Under former CEO John Lansing, NPR made increasing diversity, both of its staff and its audience, its "North Star" mission. Berliner says in the essay that NPR failed to consider broader diversity of viewpoint, noting, "In D.C., where NPR is headquartered and many of us live, I found 87 registered Democrats working in editorial positions and zero Republicans."

Berliner cited audience estimates that suggested a concurrent falloff in listening by Republicans. (The number of people listening to NPR broadcasts and terrestrial radio broadly has declined since the start of the pandemic.)

Former NPR vice president for news and ombudsman Jeffrey Dvorkin tweeted , "I know Uri. He's not wrong."

Others questioned Berliner's logic. "This probably gets causality somewhat backward," tweeted Semafor Washington editor Jordan Weissmann . "I'd guess that a lot of NPR listeners who voted for [Mitt] Romney have changed how they identify politically."

Similarly, Nieman Lab founder Joshua Benton suggested the rise of Trump alienated many NPR-appreciating Republicans from the GOP.

In recent years, NPR has greatly enhanced the percentage of people of color in its workforce and its executive ranks. Four out of 10 staffers are people of color; nearly half of NPR's leadership team identifies as Black, Asian or Latino.

"The philosophy is: Do you want to serve all of America and make sure it sounds like all of America, or not?" Lansing, who stepped down last month, says in response to Berliner's piece. "I'd welcome the argument against that."

"On radio, we were really lagging in our representation of an audience that makes us look like what America looks like today," Lansing says. The U.S. looks and sounds a lot different than it did in 1971, when NPR's first show was broadcast, Lansing says.

A network spokesperson says new NPR CEO Katherine Maher supports Chapin and her response to Berliner's critique.

The spokesperson says that Maher "believes that it's a healthy thing for a public service newsroom to engage in rigorous consideration of the needs of our audiences, including where we serve our mission well and where we can serve it better."

Disclosure: This story was reported and written by NPR Media Correspondent David Folkenflik and edited by Deputy Business Editor Emily Kopp and Managing Editor Gerry Holmes. Under NPR's protocol for reporting on itself, no NPR corporate official or news executive reviewed this story before it was posted publicly.