exchange program application essay example

Student Exchange Program Essay: Examples, Topics, & Tips

It is not a secret that for every open slot at a prestigious college, there are from 10 to 15 eager applicants. They often seem equally qualified academically.

However, it is often the college application essay that sets one lucky applicant apart from the others. While writing is very personal, and styles can vary, the college application mistakes that students tend to make are common. So if you want to find out 10 college application mistakes to avoid, just read this article by Custom Writing experts!

Want to succeed? Just keep reading this article by Custom Writing experts!

• ✅ What to Include
• 👣 Writing Steps
• 💡 Essay Topics
• 👀 Essay Sample

🔗 References

✅ student exchange program essay: what to include.

The following information should be included in a good student exchange essay.

To make your essay really strong, try our hints for writing motivation essays and a personal essay .

👣 Student Exchange Program Essay: Writing Steps

Outshine the other applicants by writing an excellent student exchange essay that demonstrates your ability to think intelligently and express yourself in writing! The process of writing an impressive exchange application essay is not as complicated as you might think.

Here are the writing steps that will help you write a thoughtful, convincing, and concise exchange application essay.

💡 Student Exchange Program (FLEX) Essay Topics

• Many students have experiences, identity, or talent that define their character and life. Their application for FLEX would be incomplete without it. Please share your story if it sounds like you . You can find an exchange student essay on this topic below.
• Our success in studies, personal life , and career owes to the lessons learned through overcoming obstacles. Have you ever faced a failure, challenge, or setback that made you stronger and smarter? How did it affect you, and what conclusions did you make?
• Recall a hard problem you had to solve or the one you are still struggling with. For example, it can be a complicated assignment, an intellectual challenge, or an ethical dilemma. Why is it so critical to you? Which steps did you take or could take to find a solution?
• Reflect on a belief or idea that you felt was wrong. Why did you question it? What result did you reach in these thoughts?
• Our accomplishments and realizations spark a new understanding of life and personal growth . Tell about a similar event that changed the way you perceive yourself and others.
• Describe an idea or topic that is engaging enough to make you lose track of time. Why is it so captivating? What actions do you make to learn more in this field?

👀 Study Abroad Essay Sample

Every person has a talent. It takes a while to discover it, but life becomes similar to an engaging strategy game once you know your vocation. My parents never insisted on my selecting a path. I tried many hobbies and activities, but none of them lasted longer than a year.

Four years ago, I attended my first botany class. At that moment, I understood that it was something I would like to study deeper. So many plants surround us, and we are ignorant of their names and life cycles. This knowledge gives us an opportunity to understand our role on the planet and explore how we can help nature.

This year, I asked myself: what do I want to do in my future life? It didn’t take long to answer. I would like to become a pharmacologist and develop new medicines. But at the moment, I need to study hard. I expect that the study abroad program will allow me to learn more about American culture and make me more open-minded.

As an international student, I will have a chance to perfect my biology knowledge at an American school. I can tell a lot about trees, flowers, and grass, as well as the animals and birds that live in them. That is why I will always have a topic to discuss with my host family and peers. I am looking forward to meeting new people and experiences.

Your student exchange application essay can be the deciding factor for your selection and participation in the student exchange program. There is no doubt that your student exchange essay can be a good indicator of your personality. Make every effort to communicate your enthusiasm for studying abroad and let the student exchange program officials learn about your unique qualities. Also, don’t be shy to use every bit of help that you may require. For instance, try a summary helper if you struggle to finish up your writing properly, get someone to proofread your writing in case you’re not sure if it’s perfect, and so on.

Remember that studying abroad is a life-changing experience that will impact your college career. Don’t miss this chance to invest in your future. Start your journey today with a strongly written and carefully proofread student exchange essay. We promise it will make a difference!

✏️ Student Exchange Essay FAQ

If you write an application for a scholarship, it is crucial that your study abroad essay tells about your personal motivation to participate in the exchange program. Otherwise, you may focus on the general pros and cons of the experience.

When you start a personal statement, keep in mind that it is the way admission committees get to know you. Make sure to provide relevant info about your goals , passions , examples of personal accomplishments , etc.

If it is a welcome letter to a foreign student, express how glad you are to meet them. You may give some advice on how to adapt to the new environment, share your thoughts about the exchange program, and ask about the student’s feelings and impressions .

Some advantages of becoming a foreign exchange student are: broadening your horizons , getting off your comfort zone, making new friends, practicing foreign languages (if applicable), gaining new skills/knowledge. Overall, it is an excellent opportunity to experience something new and valuable.

• 25 Reasons to Study Abroad | Top Universities
• Exchange Programs | U.S. Department of State
• EU students | European Commission
• Student Exchange Programs | EF Foreign Exchange
• International Student Exchange Programs
• 8 Student Exchange Programs for Teens | GoAbroad.com
• How to apply – International Exchange and Study Abroad
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The contest is now closed. Please check Contest Results page to read the essay of the best paper writer. Custom Writing team has selected 15 best works among the submissions, and we gladly invite our blog readers to help us determine three most talented writers amid contest participants.

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Really valid and sensible . Great work. I hope it will help alot

Thank you very much, I also wanted to participate in flex program, but I didn’t understand much about Essay and I understood a lot after seeing this sample

Hello, I am from Uzbekistan. I want to participate in the student exchange program in the USA. How is this test administered? Online or face-to-face and where? And what knowledge should be acquired to participate in the program

This was an useful blog for our institute

How long should a exchange essay be?

Your essay should be up to one page in length if not otherwise required by your professor

Hello. Please help me with my essay. I can not pay. Can you send me some sample essays, please?

It is very helpful thanks.

Good techniques

How to Write an Outstanding Study Abroad Application Essay

For some students who wish to study abroad, the statement of purpose can be one of the most daunting components of the program application. The good news: it’s not as difficult as it may seem at first! After all, you’ve come this far in the study abroad research process , so chances are you’ve already given thought to what the essay requires you to write about. As long as you don’t rush and take the time to create a solid outline, your study abroad application statement of purpose will truly shine.

Common statement of purpose requirements

Although each program application may have program-specific essay requirements to address, most will ask students to address the following two components:

• Goals for studying abroad (i.e. academic, career, and personal) – Most likely, you will have to briefly describe your goals, outlining specific ways in which studying abroad will help you achieve these goals.
• Reason you chose this program/location – This aspect of the statement of purpose is more specific to why, out of all the programs and locations on Earth to study, you’re applying to this one.

Creating an outline

Before rushing into writing out your statement of purpose, make sure you’ve carefully read the instructions and prompts for the essay. The worst way to sabotage an otherwise excellent essay is to miss a key requirement outlined in the instructions. To help keep essay requirements fresh in your mind, consider copying and pasting the requirements at the top of essay document so that they are there for quick reference.

After you fully understand what points you are required to touch on in your statement of purpose, drafting an outline will help keep your essay organized, clear, and succinct. Consider following the steps below to help make this process easy and straight-forward.

Open up a blank Word document, and get down the general essay components:

Introduction

Paragraph 1

Paragraph 2

Paragraph 3

Now that you have the foundation laid out, you can complete your outline by creating a couple compelling sentences for each paragraph. Having these sentences drafted will help you quickly move forward after your outline is complete. Let’s take a look at each paragraph, and sample sentences for each.

Introduction – Create a strong thesis sentence that sums up your overall purpose for studying abroad.

• Example: Studying abroad at the Universidad Complutense de Madrid will be a monumental step in realizing my personal, academic, and career goals to my highest potential.

This thesis sentence portrays to the reader that you have identified personal, academic, and career goals in relation to studying abroad in a specific program, and will describe them below.

Paragraphs 1-3 – Draft a sentence that sums up your response to the each point, then a second sentence that provides a specific outcome that this study abroad program will provide.

Paragraph 1 (e.g. personal reason/goal for studying abroad in this program):

• Example: My grandfather migrated to the United States from Madrid, and since an early age I’ve wanted to see and experience the city and culture he grew up in. By the end of my study abroad program, I plan to have developed a deeper understanding and appreciation for my family heritage by becoming more fluent in Spanish and familiar with Spanish customs and cultural practices.

Paragraph 2 (e.g. academic reason/goal for studying abroad in this program):

• Example: As a history major, I plan to utilize my time in Spain to contribute to my overall academic success and focus within the history program at my home university. Throughout my time studying abroad, I will visit historical sites around Spain relevant to my intended topic for my graduate thesis topic: Moorish architectural and cultural influences in modern Spanish society.

Paragraph 3 (e.g. career reason/goal for studying abroad in this program):

• Example: I plan to one day teach Spanish history and culture at the college level, and this program will give me the first-hand experience I believe necessary to be qualified and successful in this position. By being completely immersed in the Spanish culture, and by having access to a large number of relevant historical sites and resources, I will enter this study abroad experience with my career development in mind.

For the conclusion, come up with a strong sentence to sum-up (again) why this program and location is the best choice.

• Example: After extensive research of all possible programs, I am convinced that studying history and Spanish culture at the Universidad Complutense de Madrid is an ideal match for my personal, academic, and career goals outlined above.

Drafting suggestions

Now that you have a strong outline, filling in the rest should come easily and naturally. As would be normally expected in college-level essays, it’s important to make sure that each sentence you write relates directly to the main sentences in its respective paragraph you came up with in the outline.

After you’ve written your completed first draft of your study abroad application statement of purpose, save the document and take a break for a week. After you’ve had some time to clear your mind, you’ll likely come back to edit your essay with a fresh perspective and as a result more easily catch mistakes you may not have otherwise caught!

Finally, before you send it off, double (and triple) check to make sure that you haven’t overlooked any requirements for the statement of purpose. Also, consider having at least one other person look at your essay – your campus’s writing center is a great resource you might consider utilizing!

Congratulate yourself

After you’ve sent in your essay, congratulate yourself! You are well on your way to one of the most exciting journeys of your life, and you certainly deserve to be proud of this accomplishment.

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Dave Harriman

Dave Harriman, SHRM-CP, has a background in human resources, anthropology, and international education. His experience teaching English abroad during a gap year as an undergraduate student in Spain ignited his passion and advocacy for student travel. As a human resources professional, Dave is interested in helping students prepare for future career growth, and for helping facilitate social & cultural inclusion in the workplace.

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Exchange Student Tips

Information and Advice for Foreign Exchange Students

Student Exchange Application: 9 Powerful (and Easy!) Steps to a Great Application

Here’s the thing:

Finding an exchange student program  and choosing a host country are easy.

Actually getting onto the program you want, and being selected to go to your first-choice country, is very hard.

In a word, the problem is  competition .

When you apply to be a foreign exchange student, you’ll be competing against high achievers – well-rounded, good citizen-type students, who are highly motivated, above average academically and with great credentials.

They may be current school captains or class presidents, or captains of the school debate team.

They may even be former exchange students, or already fluent in the language of the country they want to exchange to.

From the perspective of a student exchange program, those are all big pluses.

How do you beat those guys?

Don’t fear. I have nine simple yet extremely powerful tips which are going to help you write a student exchange application that will blow them all away.

1. Make your written student exchange application irresistible by focussing on personal characteristics that the exchange program is looking for

Most people trip up because they treat their written student exchange application as an opportunity to write a long essay about themselves.

They write about their interests and skills and hopes as an exchange student.

What should they really be doing?

Focussing on the exchange program and the kinds of students the program wants to send overseas.  

Think about it.

In the mind of the person reading your application, your goals or hobbies or expectations are secondary considerations.

What that person really wants to know is whether you have the personal qualities that the exchange program thinks are important for exchange students to have.

So, when you’re writing your application, you need to keep those desirable personal qualities front and centre.

Now, here’s some good news:

Exchange organisations usually tell you the very qualities they are looking for, in very explicit terms, on their websites.

For example, the AFS Australia website states as follows:

The AFS website actually tells you very directly that AFS is looking for people who are flexible, self-confident and able to mix well with others.

If you were applying for an exchange with AFS, you’d know exactly what personal qualities to focus on in your written application, wouldn’t you?

You’d give them what they wanted and talk about how you possess all of those qualities, thereby demonstrating that you are exactly the kind of person AFS likes to send overseas, and a better candidate than your competitors.

In a similar vein, the global website for Rotary youth exchange states the following:

Again, it’s virtually laid out on a platter:

Anyone interested in applying for a student exchange with Rotary needs to demonstrate through his or her written application that he or she is:

• open to different cultures, and
• able to serve as an ambassador

Before you start writing your application, be sure to find out the kind of student your exchange program is aiming to recruit, and make sure that your application demonstrates that you meet that profile.

2. Start your answers with strong, positive statements which send the message that you meet the exchange program’s requirements exactly

In high school, you’ve probably learned that the correct way to format every paragraph in an essay is to:

• Start the paragraph with a firm statement or proposition , and then
• Provide relevant evidence or other detail which supports that statement or proposition

The same rule applies with your student exchange application.

You need to start each answer with a strong, positive statement which directly addresses the question you’ve been asked and leaves no doubt that you meet each criterion set by the exchange program.

For example, your application might have the following question:

Exchange students constantly encounter new people and situations and need to be flexible and open to change. Describe a situation in which you displayed flexibility and a willingness to change.

A good way to start your answer to that question would be as follows:

I am a flexible person who has displayed a willingness to adapt to changing circumstances.

Why is that sentence so powerful?

Because it borrows key language from the question – the words “flexible”, “willingness” and “change” –  and therefore addresses the question directly.

It’s also a strong statement because it starts using the very strong statement “I am” – rather than “I consider myself” or “I aim to be” or some other weaker formulation.

In other words,  that sentence sends the message that you are exactly the person the program is looking for .

Make sure that you begin your answer to each question on your application form with a sentence that:

• includes words and phrases from the question, and
• uses strong and definitive “I am” language

3. Supercharge your opening statements using the most persuasive word in the English language

Here’s how to go one better and make the opening statements in your student exchange application virtually unstoppable:

Work the word “because” into each of your statements.

In his best-selling book Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion , Dr Robert Cialdini identifies the word “because” as the most persuasive word known to man. For some reason, people are very easily persuaded by sentences and questions containing the word “because”.

What does this mean for you?

You need to capture the strong, almost hypnotic power of the word “because” and put it to work in your application.

Specifically, try to  work the word “because” into each of your strong statements in order to make the reasons and statements that follow seem more convincing .

So, the introductory words we looked at earlier would change from:

I am a flexible person because I have displayed a willingness to adapt to changing circumstances

It’s just a small linguistic change, but one which should have a big impact on the effectiveness of your application.

4. Make your application the best of the bunch by supporting your statements with facts, and only facts

Now, let me help you avoid making a big mistake.

Once you’ve made your bold statement to begin each answer in your student exchange application, you need hard evidence to back it up.

There are several kinds of evidence you could use to support the statements you make in your application, such as:

• Facts – for example, “I have studied German for five years” or “I am the editor of my high school’s yearbook”
• Intentions – for example, “I plan to take an intensive German course this spring” or “I will be volunteering at a Camp Kesem camp this summer”
• Interests – for example, “I have always been interested in German history” or “I am passionate about European politics”
• Opinions – for example, “German would be a very useful language for me to learn” and “I believe that I would make a good host daughter”

The strongest of those options by an absolute mile is facts .

In fact, if you want to knock your competitors out of the ballpark, you should only use facts to back up the statements in your application.

Why are facts so powerful?

Because they are indisputable and verifiable.

In other words, they are evidence of what you have done . That is far more valuable and credible than evidence about things you would like to do or are planning to do.

Furthermore, if you only use facts in your application, you won’t sound like you’re bragging or big-noting yourself. All you’re doing is talking about factual events that have already happened.

I almost guarantee that your competitors will be using all the other, weaker types of evidence, and submitting far weaker applications as a result.

Don’t make the same mistake.

Stay gold, and stick to the facts.

5. Gather your ammunition

Here’s a useful exercise you can use to maximise the number of strong, convincing facts in your student exchange application.

Before you even start writing your application, sit down with a blank piece of paper.

Spend half an hour writing down every single positive fact you can think of which may be relevant to your exchange application, including:

• leadership positions you’ve held
• academic successes you’ve had (for example, a high GPA or any academic awards)
• evidence that you are a good citizen (such as previous volunteer work, participation in things like scouts, and even regular blood donations)
• prior relevant experience such as previous short-stay exchanges
• any language experience – not necessarily in the language of the country you’d like to exchange to
• anything showing your adaptability
• anything demonstrating your coolness under pressure

Don’t stop writing until you’ve filled up the whole page, then go away for 24 hours.

The next day, sit down with your list and add anything else you’ve thought about in the meantime.

You want to capture absolutely any and every positive fact about yourself.

Then, when you sit down to write your application, you’ll have a ready-made stash of hard, factual evidence you can use to support your strong statements.

Then, you can move on to step 6.

6. Make sure you finish on top by playing your trump card

So, by now you have some very strong and positive statements written, and a mountain of factual evidence to support those statements.

Here’s how to seal the deal.

You need a trump card – something you’ve done which no-one else has, which makes you stand out and tells the exchange program that you are willing to go further than your competitors.

Even if everyone else is giving 100% effort, your trump card will push you to 110%. And I virtually guarantee that an exchange program will choose 110% over 100% any day of the week.

Let me show you exactly what I mean.

Case study: how I got beaten fair and square by a trump card

When I applied to go on exchange, my first choice country was Germany .

Germany is always a popular exchange destination because so many people learn German at school.

However, I thought I was in with a good chance for the following reasons:

• I was the current vice-captain (vice president) of my high school, which was one of the best schools in the region
• I was on the school debate team, editor of the school yearbook, and had a stack of other leadership and community service credentials
• I had a strong academic record, which included five years of studying German

My written application was very strong, and I thought I had a great interview with representatives from the exchange program.

I thought I had Germany in the bag.

Then, I got trumped: I got my second choice country, Switzerland, and a girl called Jessica was chosen to go on exchange to Germany.

(Switzerland turned out great, by the way, but that’s another story).

What did Jessica do that gave her the edge over me?

Like me, she was well-credentialed, had good academics and had previously studied German.

Like me, she evidently also had a strong application and made a good impression at her interview.

Unlike me, however, Jessica had undertaken an unpaid internship at her city’s German chamber of commerce and gotten a letter of recommendation from the head of the chamber. She forwarded that letter along with her application.

That was an extremely smart and strong trump card, which sent the message that Jessica was super-serious about going to Germany. It was enough to push her in front of me and everyone else wanting to go to Germany.

Jessica thought outside the box and was rewarded with her first choice of country to exchange to.

Now let me tell you how to get your own trump card.

Four trump card ideas

Jessica’s trump card idea of working at her local German chamber of commerce was a good one, because it demonstrated how committed she was to exchanging to Germany.

If you have a few months before your application is due, you can try to arrange something similar, depending upon the organisations and groups located in your area.

For example, where we live, there is:

• a nursing home for elderly  Italian people
• a chapter of the American-Australian association
• a twin cities association managing the relationship with our twin city Versailles, in France,  and
• a German language library and resources centre which is staffed by volunteers

Some unpaid volunteer work at any of those institutions would combine charity work and a country-specific trump card that would be hard for any exchange organisation to resist.

Think about similar opportunities which exist in your city or region, and turn one into a great trump card.

Short-notice trump card

You might have a problem:

Internships and volunteer work take time to organise and undertake.

What can you do if you’re in the throes of writing your application and need a trump card within the next week or two?

Here’s a quickly actionable trump card idea that you can deploy if you’re short of time (or no other suitable trump cards seem to be available in your area):

Get a letter of recommendation from your local mayor or congressman

Politicians are nearly always big on diplomacy and promoting the region they represent.

They also love it when one of their constituents receives an award or recognition of some kind, because it reflects well on them.

Here’s how to use these traits to your advantage:

Try making an appointment with your local mayor or congressman.

Explain that you are applying for an exchange program and spend half an hour outlining some of your credentials to him or her.

Then, very politely ask him or her for a letter of recommendation, on official letterhead.

In exchange, offer to make yourself available for a photo opportunity if you are chosen to go on exchange, and be sure to keep that promise if you are successful.

His or her answer will nearly certainly be “yes”.

A letter of recommendation from a recognised political figure can open a surprising number of doors.

The exchange program may figure that if you’ve met and made a good impression on your congressman or mayor, you’ll make a good impression on people that you’ll meet overseas.

7. For maximum impact, put your strongest evidence first

Here’s a strange little fact:

The average adult now has an attention span of only 8.25 seconds .

Furthermore, according to a study cited by Forbes magazine, the average adult reads at a speed of about 300 words per minute .

T he person reading your student exchange application will probably only focus on the first 40-45 words of each answer you give before starting to lose focus .

That, in turn, means that you need to do two things:

First, use your strongest evidence first . Once you’ve made your strong statement for each answer, follow up with the strongest fact or evidence you have to support that statement. Because you’ve only got one or two sentences before your audience starts to lose attention, you need to fill those first few sentences with your best stuff.

Second, keep your sentences short . From a readability perspective, it’s already good practice to keep your sentences to a length of around 20 words each. Keeping your sentences short and to the point – and not filling them with unnecessary things like adjectives – will also help you to maximise the amount of information you get across in your application before the person reading it loses concentration.

8. Use these three tools to make your student exchange application a pleasure to read

The person reading your student exchange application may have dozens of written applications to read.

How do you make yours stand out?

You may be surprised to hear that one of the easiest ways to make a good impression through your application is to make it easy to read.

Here are three tools that will make your application an easy and pleasurable read:

Tool 1: Short sentences

By all means, use as many facts to support your application as you feel are relevant.

But, be sure to keep your sentences short when describing those facts.

The reason for doing this is simple:

Long sentences are tiring for a reader and can result in your core messages getting lost.

Make sure you don’t bury your high-quality content under lots of unnecessary verbiage.

• minimise your use of colons and semi-colons
• don’t use connecting words like “which” and “that” unless you absolutely have to
• aim for one sentence per idea or example you wish to make, and
• try to keep your sentences shorter than 20 words, and no longer than 30 words

Tool 2: A font which is easy and pleasant to read

If your student exchange application is typed rather than hand-written, and you can control the font, make it more readable by applying the following font rules.

Use at least 13-point font , and preferably 14-point . The default on many word processors is 12-point which is too low and can cause eye fatigue.

Use 1.5 point line spacing , to increase the gap between lines and make them easier and more pleasant to read.

Use a plain, no-nonsense typeface like Times New Roman or Arial , which won’t distract or annoy the person reading your application, and let them focus on your content.

Tool 3: Use the active voice, and minimise the passive voice

Write as much of your student exchange application in the active voice as possible, and avoid writing in the passive voice.

What’s the difference?

A sentence written in the passive voice has no subject – that is, no person doing the verb.

For example, the following sentence is in the passive voice:

I was voted class president last year.

Now here’s the same sentence in the active voice:

My classmates voted me class president last year.

In the first sentence, it isn’t immediately apparent who voted for the narrator to be class president. The second – active voice – sentence contains the subject “my classmates”, which makes this clear.

You need to avoid writing in the passive voice, and write your entire student exchange application in the active voice instead, because:

• Readers tire when they have to read a lot of sentences written in the passive voice
• The person reading your application may recognise your use of the passive voice – particularly if they are older than about 45, or have a lot of experience with linguistics or learning languages – and mark you down for writing incorrectly
• The active voice helps to minimise any ambiguity

If you already have great content, applying these three tools will help your application make an even more positive impression and increase your chances of success.

9. Make your student exchange application twice as strong by getting not one, but TWO experts to read it

This may be the most important tip on this page:

Once your exchange program application is written, you need to ask two very specific people to proof-read and evaluate it for you.

“But wait,” you say. “I’ve already lined up my mom/dad/best friend to read my application and make suggestions”.

Unfortunately, that won’t work. Here’s why:

• your family and friends are unlikely to give you honest feedback – that is, they will tell you what you want to hear, rather than what you need to hear, in order to spare your feelings
• they won’t necessarily have any insight into what the exchange program will be looking for , and
• they are unlikely to have the technical expertise to make your answers read well

Here’s a better idea:

Get two people with specific, relevant experience and skills to review and make comments on your application.

Expert 1 – A trusted teacher at your school

First of all, you need to ask a teacher at your school who you know well and are friendly with to take a look at your student exchange application.

Why a teacher?

Firstly, because teachers spend a good part of each day evaluating work that their students have written. They are practised at reviewing documents and providing honest but constructive feedback.

In other words, the teacher you ask will most likely give you genuine, actionable tips on how to improve your application.

The second reason is that the teacher will know you and be familiar with your personality, and may be able to suggest additional information that will enhance the content of your application.

The final reason is that teachers generally have a practised eye for spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and the like. Your teacher should be able to ensure that your application contains no errors which will detract from the effectiveness of the content.

Expert 2 – A former exchange student

The second person you need to show your student exchange application to is a former exchange student at your school who you know and are friendly with.

It doesn’t matter which exchange student program he or she travelled with, or which country he or she went to.

The reason for asking this person to look at your application is simple:

He or she will know what it takes to be a successful exchange student, and should be able to offer advice on the contents of your application which will make it more appealing to the exchange organisation.

The student should also be able to coach and advise you on the application process generally, including the application interview, which I’ll also deal with in my next post.

If you have any further tips or questions about filling out an exchange program application, you can leave them in the comments below.

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How Do I Write a Personal Statement for Study Abroad?

September 26, 2023

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Writing a personal statement is an important aspect of the study abroad application process. However, if you’re unfamiliar with the practice, it can seem overwhelming. Have no fear – CIEE is here! Let’s review how to write a personal statement for study abroad.  

What is a Study Abroad Personal Statement?  

First things first. What even is a study abroad personal statement? Knowing the definition of what it is will help you write one.  

Simply put, a study abroad personal statement is a component of your CIEE application, specifically in the CIEE scholarships and grants portion (which every student should fill out, by the way). It is a brief essay (300 words) in which you explain how a CIEE study abroad program will impact your college experience and/or your future career plans.  

Read More: How to Apply to a Study Abroad Scholarship at CIEE: 4 Steps

What Are Study Abroad Personal Statement Examples? 

To give you a better idea of how this content should develop, take a look at a few short study abroad personal statement examples:  

• “Partaking in the Arts + Sciences program in Cape Town , South Africa will further my passion and dream career in public health by volunteering with local health and medical organizations and learning how to better support people in historically complex socioeconomic situations and aid them in finding the resources they need equitably.”  
• “The Sustainability + the Environment study abroad program in Monteverde , Costa Rica will provide me with the opportunity to gain hands-on experience in a variety of different environments, like the Lowland Rainforest, and conduct research alongside professionals in the field. Eventually, I want to be a researcher that helps bring sustainability and conservation issues to the forefront of each and every country.”  
• “I want to be a Spanish teacher. I have always loved the language and learning more about diverse Spanish traditions, and there’s no better way to do both than by living and breathing the language and local culture during a study abroad program in Seville .”  

While your own study abroad personal statement will be a bit longer than these quick topic sentences, these examples directly explain how a CIEE Study Abroad experience will enhance a student’s passions and general career aspirations.  

How to Write a Personal Statement for Study Abroad? 

We have a few quick tips that will help you write your personal statement for studying abroad.  

How do you start a personal statement?  

Step #1: identify your “why”.

The best way to start a study abroad personal statement is by identifying what you’re truly passionate about. This should be an easy start – if you’ve always been enthusiastic about history, explain why. If you love Japanese manga, explain how you got into it. If you’re an avid hiker, describe when you first fell in love with a trek. Be yourself when writing about topics or activities that are important to you – we want to hear about it!  

Read More: What are Your Goals for Studying Abroad?

Step #2: Explore How Your Passions Translate into a Career

Next, think deeply about how you can turn your passions into a career, or at the very least, how you plan on practicing your interests in the future, whether in college or in a professional capacity.  

Referencing our former examples, if you’re fascinated by history, you might have plans to go to graduate school and study archaeology. As a manga lover, you might start a youth club on the topic in your local community. As an avid hiker, you might want to become a professional conservationist to not only keep your beloved trails intact, but also to protect wildlife and natural sanctuaries.  

Read More: How to Put Study Abroad on Your Resume: 4 Steps

Step #3: Align Your Goals with a CIEE Program

The last step is putting it all together and aligning with CIEE study abroad programs. Once you’ve detailed your passions and how you want to incorporate them into your future plans, pinpoint which CIEE study abroad program will help you fulfill your goals.  

As a history and archaeology lover, studying abroad in Greater China , with ancient battlefields and some of the most impressive structures ever built, might be the best opportunity to kickstart your career. As a Japanese manga fan, heading to Kyoto , home to the world’s first manga museum, will help you dive deep into the subject matter. To continue your hikes, traveling to the iconic Blue Mountains in Sydney will be your best bet.  

Read More: Is Studying Abroad Worth It? 10 Outcomes of Studying Abroad

How long should a personal statement be?  

Word counts for your study abroad personal statement will vary by CIEE program and by host institution (the university you’ll be studying at overseas). Prepare to write at least 300 words, which is a little more than half a page, single-spaced.  

Does CIEE Require a Personal Statement?  

CIEE’s study abroad personal statement requirements vary by program and not all guidelines are the same. Generally speaking, you should expect to be required to complete a personal statement if you decide to apply for CIEE funding (which, you totally should, as CIEE awards thousands each year to students like YOU!). Outside of any CIEE personal statements you may be required to complete, you should also check with your school’s study abroad office to see what their requirements may be.

Make the World Your Classroom

While writing a personal statement for studying abroad may not be required based on your program of choice, it’s still incredibly valuable, at the very least, to think about how a study abroad program will impact your college experience and/or future plans. Establishing this will provide a lot of meaning to your adventure and will really help you become the best version of yourself.  

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Motivation Letter for Exchange Programme (summer 2023)

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Published: Apr 11, 2019

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

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Home » Catchy Motivation Letter For Exchange Program: 7 Examples

Catchy Motivation Letter For Exchange Program: 7 Examples

Are you looking to go on an exchange program but don’t know how to write a motivation letter? Or maybe you’ve written one before, but it wasn’t quite good enough? Check out these seven examples for inspiration. With the right attitude and a bit of creativity, your motivation letter can be what convinces the selection committee to choose you.

Table of Contents

How To Write a Motivation Letter For Exchange Program?

If you’re hoping to participate in an exchange program, you’ll likely need to submit a motivation letter as part of your application. This letter is your opportunity to sell yourself to the exchange program coordinator and demonstrate why you should be selected for the program. While each letter will be unique, there are a few general tips you can follow to make sure your letter is impressive.

First, take the time to research the exchange program and learn about its goals and objectives. That way, you can tailor your letter to align with the program’s values. Next, be sure to highlight your relevant skills and experiences. Explain how participating in the program will help you grow as a person and contribute to your future career goals. Finally, be sure to proofread your letter carefully before submitting it. A well-written motivation letter can make all the difference in whether or not you’re selected for an exchange program, so it’s worth taking the time to get it right.

Related: How To Write a Cover Letter (And Get Hired in 2022!)

Motivation Letter For Exchange Program

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to apply for the exchange program at the University of XYZ. So, I am a third-year student studying economics and business administration at ABC University in my home country.

I am interested in spending a semester or a year abroad as part of my studies, in order to gain international experience and expand my horizons. So, I believe that the University of XYZ would be an ideal place for me to do this, as it is one of the leading institutions in my field.

During my time at ABC University, I have been consistently among the top students in my class. I am confident that I have the ability to succeed academically at the University of XYZ. In addition, I am fluent in English and have basic proficiency in French.

I am confident that I would be an excellent representative of my home country and my university while abroad, and I am eager to learn more about other cultures. Also, I believe that this experience would be invaluable for my personal and professional development.

Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Related: Motivational letter for university: 12 Examples & Sample Included

Motivation Letter For Exchange Program Sample

Also, I am writing to apply for the exchange program at XYZ University.

Also, I am currently a student at ABC University, where I am studying XYZ. So, I am very interested in the XYZ program at XYZ University, and I believe that an exchange would be beneficial for my academic development.

At ABC University, I have maintained a strong academic record, and I am confident that I would be able to do the same at XYZ University. Also, I am a motivated and hard-working student, who is eager to learn.

I believe that an exchange program would provide me with an excellent opportunity to learn more about XYZ, and to gain valuable experience in the field. So, I am confident that I would be able to make a positive contribution to the XYZ program, and I look forward to the opportunity to learn from the students and faculty at XYZ University.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Related: Indeed Cover Letter: 07 Templates and Samples

Motivation Letter Student Exchange

My name is _______ _______ and I am a student at ___________.So, I am interested in studying abroad for a semester and am writing to inquire about the possibility of attending your institution.

I have been studying ______ for the past ___ years and am very passionate about it. So,. I believe that an exchange semester would be beneficial for my personal and academic growth. I am confident that I would be able to contribute to your campus community and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to learn more about ______ culture.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

___________ ___________

Related: Generic Cover Letter: 09 Samples & Examples

Motivation Letter Erasmus Exchange

I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Exchange program at XYZ University.

As an ABC student, I am very interested in studying abroad and expanding my academic horizons. I believe that the Erasmus Exchange program would be the perfect opportunity for me to do this.

XYZ University is one of the leading institutions in my field of study, and I would be very honored to have the opportunity to study there. I am confident that I would be able to contribute to the academic community at XYZ University and that I would benefit greatly from the experience.

Related: 07 Best General Manager Cover Letter Samples

Motivation Letter For Exchange Program With No Experience

I am writing to apply for the exchange program with no experience. So, I am a senior in high school and will be graduating in May. So, I have always been interested in other cultures and have dreamed of living in another country.

I believe that this program would be an excellent opportunity for me to learn more about other cultures and to experience life in another country. Also, I am a very responsible person and I am sure that I would be an excellent representative of my country.

So, I am eager to learn more about other cultures and to experience life in another country. So, believe that this program would be an excellent opportunity for me to do so. I am confident that I would be an excellent representative of my country and I would make the most of this opportunity.

Thank you for your consideration,

Related: Marketing Cover Letter: 09 Samples & Examples

Motivation Letter For Exchange Program Example

I am currently a student at ABC University and I am interested in spending a semester abroad in order to broaden my academic horizons. So, I believe that XYZ University would be the perfect place for me to do this, as it is renowned for its excellent facilities and academic staff.

So, I am confident that I would be able to contribute positively to the exchange program, and I would be keen to learn more about the culture and way of life in XYZ country. I believe that this experience would be invaluable for my personal and professional development.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Related: 145+ Creative Safety Officer Resume Objective ideas

Short Motivation Letter For Exchange Program

So, I am writing to apply for the exchange program at XYZ University.

I am currently a student at ABC University and I am interested in studying abroad in order to broaden my academic horizons. So, I believe that XYZ University would be the perfect place for me to do this, as it is renowned for its excellent teaching and research facilities.

So, I am confident that I would be able to contribute positively to the exchange program, and I look forward to the opportunity to learn more about another culture and way of life. I am eager to make new friends and experience everything that XYZ University has to offer.

5 Things To Include In a Motivation Letter For Exchange Program

A motivation letter is one of the most important parts of your exchange program application. It is your opportunity to sell yourself to the program administrators and explain why you are the perfect candidate for the program. While there is no one-size-fits-all template for a motivation letter, there are some essential elements that should always be included.

• A brief introduction: who are you and why are you interested in the program?
• A statement of your goals: what do you hope to achieve by participating in the program?
• An explanation of your qualifications: why are you better suited than other applicants?
• A description of your relevant experience: what skills have you acquired that will help you succeed on the program?
• A glimpse into your personality: what makes you unique and why will you be an asset to the program?

By taking the time to craft a well-written and informative motivation letter, you can increase your chances of being accepted into the exchange program of your choice. So don’t hesitate – start writing today!

Related: What is Cover Letter? Complete Guide To Get any Job.

I hope you found this blog helpful in understanding what goes into a motivation letter for an exchange program. As you can see, it is important to be personal and specific when writing one of these letters. Make sure to highlight your unique experiences and attributes that make you the perfect candidate for the exchange program. Above all, be genuine and enthusiastic in your writing, as this will come across in your letter. Best of luck with your application!

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International student exchange (Corrected essay)

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

WRITING TASK 2

Write about the following topic.

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students.

Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

SAMPLE WRITING TASK 2

There is a common belief that international student exchange programs would bring benefits to all participants. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this projects, I believe that there are outweighed by the advantages.

On the one hand, there are several major drawbacks when teenagers go overseas. Firstly, those exchange programs cost a considerable amount of money, which a handful of students may be inaccessible. For example, students who come from developing countries would find difficult to apply student exchange programs in industrial nations because of the financial burden. Secondly, even with preparation and knowledge about the new environment, adolescents could still experience culture shock, which can affect them in different ways. Another potential drawback is health issues that can occur during the stay in a foreign country.

On the other hand, I believe that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages. One reason for this notion is that international visitors would have a shinier resume which is valuable for them in the years to come. By working in foreign organizations, they will gain many practical experience that make their profile more competitive. Another reason is that teenagers would have a chance to experience culture exchange. This broaden their mind, and also helps them make new friends for a lifetime. Additionally, after finishing the program, overseas students tend to obtain more opportunities to find good jobs because they have a strong network of friends.

In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of international student exchange programs are more significant than the disadvantages.

Corrected Writing Task 2

There is a common belief that international student exchange programs would bring benefits to all participants. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this projects those programs’ disadvantages , I believe that there they are outweighed by cannot undermine the advantages.

Avoid using adjectives or adverbs that show high levels of certainty, such as “obvious” or “evidently”.

The word “outweigh” is already used in the topic question. “The disadvantage undermines the advantage” is a good collocation.

On the one hand, there are several major drawbacks when teenagers go overseas. Firstly, those exchange programs cost a considerable amount of money, which a handful of students may be inaccessible the expensiveness of various exchange programs makes them inaccessible to many students . For example, students who come from developing countries would find difficult to apply student exchange programs in industrial nations because of the financial burden difference in living standards between nations . Secondly, even with preparation and knowledge about the new environment, adolescents could still experience culture shock, which can affect them in different ways . Another potential drawback is health issues that can occur during the stay in a foreign country Health issues occur during the stay in a foreign country is another common problem among exchange students .

While joining two sentence clauses into one sentence by using “which” is a good strategy in the Speaking test, it isn’t necessarily effective in writing contexts. Try to change the original complex sentence into a short, simple sentence.

The third sentence in Paragraph 1 is kinda unclear and redundant. The idea of “financial burden” is already expressed in the previous sentence.

“Different ways?” Which ways are you referring here? Try to explain it more to make the paragraph longer and more cohesive.

Try to use the connectives (firstly, secondly, another…) more skillfully. If you keep putting a connective at the start of a sentence, then your writing can be very dull. I advise you to change the structure of the last sentence to make the connective (“another”) appear in the middle of the sentence instead of at the beginning.

On the other hand, I believe that the benefits are more significant than such aforementioned disadvantages. One reason for this notion is that international visitors students would have a shinier attractive resume which is valuable for them in the years to come. By working in foreign organizations, they will gain many practical experience that make their profile more competitive. Another reason is that teenagers would have a chance to experience culture exchange cultural diversity . This broaden broadens their mind , and also helps them make new friends for a lifetime . Additionally, after finishing the program, overseas students tend to obtain more opportunities to find good jobs because they have a strong network of friends wide social circle .

“such “ is an informal word. Use “aforementioned” instead.

“An international visitor” means “a tourist”, not “an international student”.

“Shiny resume” isn’t a collocation, “attractive resume” is.

“Experience” is an uncountable noun, so don’t use “many” here.

You don’t make a “lifetime” friend that easily.

The above conclusion is unconvincing and too short. Either you write one more sentence, or remove the part “would argue that”.

--------------

While it’s okay to write a 252 words essay in a real test, try to write longer when you are at home. You should write approx 270 words, so even after you have trimmed some redundant words, your essay still have more than 250 words.

Overall score: 6.0

Task Achievement: 6

✓ addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others.

✓ presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive (your conclusion is just a paraphrase of Paragraph 2’s first sentence)

✓ presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear (the part “which can affect them in different ways” is clearly an undeveloped sentence clause)

Coherence and Cohesion: 7

✗ logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout. (the ideas in each paragraph aren’t listed in a coherent way) ✓ uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/overuse. (on the one hand, on the other hand; firstly, secondly, another, one reason, another reason, additionally)

✓ presents a clear central topic within each paragraph.

Lexical Resource: 6

✓ uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task (overseas, financial burden, culture shocḳ) ✓ attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy (broaden the mind, to experience cultural diversity) ✓ makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6 ✓ uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. ✓ makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication

----------------

OTHER SAMPLE WRITING TASK 2

In my opinion, that sounds cool to have a new friend in my classroom especially the foreigner. The exchange students from the other countries confront with the another people and places. There are many differences between host countries and newcomer countries including language, accent, foods, custom, law, culture, and also people ,Yet it would be a good thing for learning these difference from the friends. We could share the story what we do in daily life or a point of view in any topics such the football world cup matches, the president of U.S. speech or the brand new movies release. It is a chance to learn about living adaptation and communication skills, Besides travelling guide experience when you lead your friends to journey the local attraction is significantly exciting. On the other hand, attending the new people, For some people it is hard situation to compromise with the newcomers. However, time can relieve the distance and harmonise the relationship. The racism is still patent in some countries, It is like the burden to have a connection among the classroom. Therefore, the teacher plays a key role in mediator to prevent the problem if not the unwanted situation may occur. In conclusion, the exchange student has a lot of advantage in almost cases. The opportunities to interact with the foreigner make a lesson to adapt yourselves and gain life experience along with the new friends. The experience makes you stronger and worldliness. None the less, There are only some case having problem about racism that is the sensitive difficulty.

(Written by ณัช เกษม )

----------------------------

Below is the corrected essay

In my opinion, that sounds cool to have a new friend in my classroom especially the foreigner. The exchange students from the other countries confront with the another people and places. There are many differences between the host countries local people and the newcomer countries foreigner including language, accent, foods, custom, law, culture, and also people . , Yet , it would be a good thing for learning to learn these difference from the friends. We could share the story what we do in daily life or a point of view in any topics such the football world cup matches, the president of U.S. ’ speech or the brand new movies release release of a brand new movie . It is a chance to learn about living adaptation and communication skills , . Besides , travelling guide experience when you lead your friends to journey the local attraction is significantly exciting having a local friend along when traveling as a foreigner is exciting and reassuring .

Next time, try to separate the introduction from the firsty body paragraph. By missing a clear introduction, you will lower your Task Response grading a lot.

The first sentence is not only informal ( “that sounds cool” ) but also does not directly answer the topic question. If you write “ a new friend in my classroom especially the foreigner ”, the reader may think that your essay’s main focus is just “a new classmate” in general, not a “foreign” one.

The second sentence is very unclear. Try to join the first and the second sentence into one only.

While South East Asia languages are topic-prominent (the grammar isn’t important, but the topic behind the sentence is), English is much more rigid in terms of grammatical structure. In case of your third sentence, what you are talking about is not the different between two countries , but that of the people of two countries .

The correct idiom here is not “something for doing” , but rather “ something to do/to be done ”

Your last sentence sounds ungrammatical and foreign to a English speaker.

There are many punctuation mistakes presented.

On the other hand, attending regarding of the new people appearance of foreigners , For for some people , it is a hard situation when you have to compromise with the newcomers. However, time can relieve the distance and harmonise the relationship with time, the cultural barrier will be reduce . The racism is still patent prevalent in some countries, It it is like the a burden to have a connection be overcomed among in the classroom. Therefore, the teacher plays a key role in mediator to prevent the problem if not the a unwanted situation may occur.

I guess that you often misuse “ a/the ” since there is no article words in Thai. But that is something you must overcome.

Pay attention to collocations. English native speakers don’t use word pairs like “ relieve the distance ”. “To harmonise the relationship” is fine, but I am doubt it should be use in this context.

In conclusion, the exchange student has having a foreign exchange student in the classroom brings out a lot of advantage in almost cases . The opportunities to interact with the foreigner make a lesson provide a chance to adapt yourselves and gain life experience , along with the new friends. The experience makes you stronger and worldliness more mature . None the less Nonetheless , There there are only some case s having problem about when racism that is the sensitive difficulty obstacle .

Stay faithful to the topic question. Since the question here is “can all the students, both the foreign and the native ones, reap benefit?”, you must address it in your conclusion.

Using “ worldliness ” here is very unnatural. First, “worldliness” is a noun, not an adjective, so it cannot go along with “strong”. Second, it is a vague word when being taken out from the context. I suggest you use something like “ mature ”.

To strengthen your conclusion, don’t put the oppose idea at the end. Instead, put in at the beginning, then affirm your opinion as a contrast.

Overall: 4.5

Task Response: 4

✓ responds to the task only in a minimal way or the answer is tangential; the format may be inappropriate ( failing to separate the introduction and the first body paragraph lowers your band score here from 5 to 4 ) ✓ presents a position but this is unclear ( due to the unclear conclusion ) ✓ presents some main ideas but these are difficult to identify and may be repetitive, irrelevant or not well supported

Coherence and Cohesion: 5

✓ presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression

✗ makes inadequate, inaccurate or over use of cohesive devices ( The writer has used some common connectives. Could reach a 6 score next time. )

✓ may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution

✓ may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate

Lexical Resource: 5

✓ uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task

✓ may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

✓ uses only a very limited range of structures with only rare use of subordinate clauses ( there is no formal, academic sentence; the essay looks like an informal speech )

✓ some structures are accurate but errors predominate, and punctuation is often faulty ( many punctuation faults are presented)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

This essay is corrected by Anh Tran - Let's Write Something Group .

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“Why This College?” Essay Examples

May 17, 2024

As you apply for college, you’ll notice that there are several different essay writing genres you’ll need to familiarize yourself with. There’s the Common App Essay , of course, along with many specific supplemental essays like the Community Essay and the Diversity Essay that will be required by particular schools. In particular, there is the “Why This College?” Essay. The “Why This College?” Essay can be an important component in your college application, as it’s an opportunity for you to describe why you specifically would be a good fit for a particular school. It’s a popular requirement for many colleges and universities and in this article, we’re going to show you a few “Why This College?” Essay examples, and share some tips and tricks for how to write a “Why This College?” Essay.

As you peruse these examples and tips, remember that there’s no one perfect way to write a “Why This College?” Essay. Rather, there are important generic conventions you can work with and build upon to craft an essay that is unique to you as a specific college candidate. Think of a novel. You can expect a novel to have a title and chapters and contain a fictional story. At the same time, novels are written across a plethora of genres, have characters that are as different as Vladomir Harkonnen and Elizabeth Bennet, and can be short reads or thousands of pages long. It’s the same in this case. As you learn how to write a “Why This College?” Essay, you’ll see that some elements of the essay will be fixed, while others will be entirely up to you to create!

What Kind of Prompts Are There for the “Why This College?” Essay?

Many schools require some form of the “Why This College?” Essay for their supplemental application materials, and the prompts can be general or specific.  Take these extra general ones from Yale and Dartmouth , for instance:

• What is it about Yale that has led you to apply?
• In short, why Dartmouth?

These open-ended prompts can feel like both a blessing and a curse. Without particular guidelines, you might feel freer to describe your particular fit within a university and it might be easier to brainstorm about the content you’d like to highlight in this essay; however, beware of open prompts: they can make it tempting to veer into generality!

In other instances, the “Why This College?” Essay prompt will be specifically tailored for many schools, and this specificity can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. Take, for instance, these two examples from Northwestern :

• Community and belonging matter at Northwestern. Tell us about one or more communities, networks, or student groups you see yourself connecting with on campus.
• Northwestern’s location is special: on the shore of Lake Michigan, steps from downtown Evanston, just a few miles from Chicago. What aspects of our location are most compelling to you, and why? [i]

“Why This College?” Essay Examples (Continued)

The positive side to specific prompts like these is that they’ve given potential applicants a couple of springboards to begin diving from as you write – you can immediately begin detailing your specific interests and likes about Northwestern that make you an ideal candidate for the school. A potential downside is that you’ll honestly need to do research here before you can even begin brainstorming about either of these questions authentically! Specific prompts may also mean that you’ll need to totally start from scratch with each “Why This College?” Essay (for these Northwestern prompts, you certainly couldn’t plug in a different “Why This College?” Essay where you’ve written about your dream of editing for the Harvard Crimson or your hope to network in nearby New York City!).

So, with prompts like these, how to even begin writing a “Why This College?” Essay? Check out our tips and “Why This College?” Essay examples next!

Also, check out our list of college application essay topics to avoid .

Tips on How to Write a “Why This College?” Essay

Regardless of the prompt, your response needs to be specific. This is possibly the most important thing to remember as you learn how to write a “Why This College?” Essay.

First and most importantly of all, focus on fit. Remember that this is your opportunity to showcase why you’re specifically a good match for a college – not why a college is a great general choice for anybody. Ultimately, this is an essay about your potential relationship with a school. If you were writing an epic love poem, you might obsess over your beloved’s hair, eyes, etc. – but obsession isn’t a relationship! On the other hand, if you were asking someone out, you might want to focus, instead, on why you’d have a great time together because it’s more persuasive (and that’s ultimately what you’re trying to do: persuade this school’s admissions committee that you belong there!).

Here are a few tips on specificity that we’ll review below as we analyze a few “Why This College?” Essay examples:

• Before writing your “Why This College?” Essay, do your research on each school to which you’ll apply. This means finding particular programs of study you’ll pursue, looking up course titles you’d like to take and even professors you’d like to study under. It means researching clubs and extracurriculars you’ll partake in, internship programs you’ll apply for, and details about the school that will further your goals as a student there.

At the beginning of your “Why This College?” Essay, you can include a brief anecdote or bit of personal information that will make your essay stand out. As with any college application essay, this is an opportunity to brag about yourself! For instance, if you’re going to mention a particular club or extracurricular you’d like to join at a university, you can use this anecdote to briefly remind your reader that you were the president of that extracurricular at your high school (especially if that detail doesn’t appear elsewhere in your application materials). NOTE: Including a personal anecdote like this is sometimes dependent upon word length. For longer “Why This College?” Essays, it’s a great choice. For shorter ones, this hook may be a feature you’ll have to reduce or skip altogether.

Don’t linger on the general features of the school, or on school qualities that apply to everyone. Don’t focus on the school’s reputation, rankings, or student-to-professor ratios. The school knows this stuff already! Everybody paints the rock at Northwestern and paints the fence at Carnegie Mellon and these schools’ admissions counselors have read about these sorts of traditions approximately a billion times. Avoid general features and focus, rather, on detailed aspects of the school community that are particularly compelling to you .

Details about campus culture or school location are okay to write about, but remember that you’re not trying to be John Keats here. Don’t just talk about the beauty of the leaves changing in the fall or the way the palm trees sway on the school’s tropical campus. Rather, focus on what the school’s location can do for you as a scholar . Is there something particular about the school’s locale that can further your scholastic goals? Perhaps it’s situated in a region known for a particular area of study, with the best professors in the field nearby (e.g. Silicon Valley for computer science). Or maybe its setting can provide ample internship opportunities for a student with your major (e.g. Washington, D.C. for political science majors).

Edit for details. As you write your thousandth college application essay, it can be so tempting to simply copy-paste and go through the motions of writing unique drafts. While it’s okay to have a little carry-over between essays, it’s essential that you don’t have any major bloopers (like getting the school’s colors or motto wrong) in a “Why This College?” Essay.

Honesty is the best policy! It’s better to write something authentic to you than something you think the school wants to hear. After all, no matter how prestigious a school or program might be, if you can’t think of why you’d fit in there, you may want to reconsider whether a school is meant for you!

“Why This College?” Essay Examples

Below, we’ve included three fictional “Why This College Essay?” examples. The first two are good examples, along with commentary on what makes them strong and what these authors might improve upon to make them even better. The third essay is an exceptionally poor one, designed to help you see common pitfalls within this essay genre so you can think about how to avoid them yourself (or even how to correct mistakes you’ve already made in drafts!). Think of this third, poor essay as a way to test how well you’ve familiarized yourself within the genre.

Good “Why This College?” Essay Example 1:

As current Editor-in-Chief of my school magazine The Clarion , I’d like to pursue a Journalism major at the College of Northeastern Ohio, where I will deepen my experience in writing and design through classes such as “Reporting with Visual Journalism” and “International Writing.” Additionally, CNO’s Amanpour Journalism Project will give me hands-on experience as a journalist working in a newsroom. There, I’ll explore aspects of journalism such as digital storytelling and broadcasting, along with elective courses like “Feature Interviews” and “Documentary Television.”

My love for writing and communication stems from my multilingual upbringing. In high school, I explored Latin America on a study abroad trip to the Dominican Republic, where I relied on my Guatemalan heritage to further my Spanish-speaking skills. Through CNO’s International Language Studies program, I hope to attain a Spanish minor and explore Spanish-speaking countries in their study abroad program while immersing myself in international media.

With the interdisciplinary emphasis at CNO, I’ll additionally have the flexibility to study politics through a Political Science double major. I’ve written many articles on global communication for The Clarion , and I hope to further my writing on political communication with the Amanpour Project’s “Writing in Conflict Zones” class and other interdisciplinary classes with Professor Joan Walters. CNO’s robust communications offerings give me the opportunity to specifically study my interests in writing, politics, and Spanish simultaneously with the resources of multiple departments.

This essay does a great job of both showcasing the writer’s unique experiences and exploring how the college will specifically help her pursue her major and career goals. Additionally, the author has done a dynamite job researching particular classes and programs within the university that she’d like to take, listing several by name and course/program details.

How we might fix it up:

This essay primarily focuses on academics. Since academics are usually the most important reason why you’d want to attend a particular university, this definitely isn’t a major problem! However, the writer could potentially explore other extracurriculars or campus offerings that might make her a great fit for this university.

Good “Why This College?” Essay Example 2:

Data. From our politics to what we binge on Netflix, data collection and information systems have become part of the fabric of our lives. But when we think about sports, we don’t always think about numbers – and I want to do just that. The Massachusetts Institute of Stanford Mellon offers a top-ranked Data Science and Information Systems major, which will provide me with transferable skills that can be applied to my dream career path: sports marketing and data analytics.

I would like to go to a university where I can immediately participate in research. In high school, I created an algorithm that helps me predict how much fans will spend on team gear, based on their previous purchases and levels of engagement with games, betting, and online searching. The MISM Data and Numbers Lab allows undergraduates to access their databases and start conducting research right away (without having to wait until grad school!) and courses like “Analysis of Algorithms” and “Marketing and Numbers” provide the tools to conduct research on issues like sports marketing. At MISM, I hope to study with mentors like Professor Bill Jobs, whose work on information systems and regional spending might facilitate my own independent research. Additionally, MISM has alumni networks that facilitate internship and job placement in both Silicon Valley and with major sporting equipment stores like Rick’s Sporting Depot.

Finally, MISM offers a variety of extracurriculars that I would love to join, particularly the Little Pucks program, which provides community outreach to aspiring hockey players with physical disabilities. Since my sophomore year, I’ve volunteered at our local rec center, volunteering with kids who have special needs and helping them learn about and play sports. As I pursue a career in sports marketing and data analytics, I want to make a positive impact on companies and consumers alike. I’d love to live up to MISM’s motto: “Knowledge for service.”

Again, this writer does a fantastic job showcasing his own strengths and specifically demonstrating how this university has particular offerings (courses, labs, professors, extracurriculars, etc.) that will help him in his chosen major and career path. The generalities of this essay (like the school motto) are also used for a purpose: to illustrate how the writer hopes to use his education to give back to the community.

This is a great draft. To make it even better, we might consider how this essay focuses a lot on what the school can do for the writer. The writer might want to consider: how will I, in turn, contribute more to the campus community?

Poor “Why This College? Essay” Example:

When I took a campus visit at Princevard University last year, I was sure to stop at the Wishing Fountain in the middle of the quad. There, I threw in a penny and recited Princevard’s motto, “Veritas in vota” – “truth in wishes” and made my wish: that I will get accepted into Princevard this fall. I’ve known that I wanted to attend Princevard ever since I was a little boy and found out that my Great Uncle Howie graduated from there in 1965. At Princevard, I would study in their English program so that I could pursue my dream of becoming a novelist and a teacher when I graduate.

Ranked at #7 in the nation, Princevard’s reputation is another reason why I would like to attend; a degree from Princevard will open up doors to jobs and internships that many other schools could never open. Finally, I hope to join one of Princevard’s fraternities because the school offers more Greek organizations than any other university on the East Coast.

Well, it’s a start. If you’ve written a similar draft to this one, which breaks many of our “Why This College?” Essay writing rules, don’t despair! Instead, use this draft as a springboard for your next one.

How we might fix up this essay:

You’re probably familiar enough now with the genre conventions of the “Why This College?” Essay to think of a few reasons why this essay is a poor one. Now, let’s see how we can take even a poor first pass and turn it into a viable essay:

Our main goal with a draft like this is to turn all of this generality into an essay that specifically tells the school why this student would be a good fit there. Hint: avoid the sentiments about ranking and general location!

While this essay begins with a personal anecdote, it doesn’t tell us anything about this particular student. Instead, it focuses on a vague campus tradition. Remember that personal anecdotes serve as an opportunity to hook your reader and tell them something unique and positive about yourself.

There’s not much need to mention that a family member attended a university unless a) you are such a strong legacy there that your name is literally on a building (in which case, you should probably have a donating family member make a call on your behalf to the admissions department) or, b) your family history is somehow relevant to your future career and attendance at that school (e.g. your mother went to law school there and you want to become a lawyer and join her firm). If the latter, be sure you’re using this detail as a vehicle to demonstrate why this university is right for you.

While it’s great to talk about your major and career aspirations, be specific! Most schools have English departments so it’s not super useful to point this generality out. Writing that “Princevard University offers a unique dual English program with concentrations in both Creative Writing and Literary Theory, which would enable to me to pursue an ultimate graduate degree in literary and cultural studies while honing my craft as a novelist,” on the other hand, is a much more useful and detailed statement that demonstrates fit and brags a little about the applicant’s writing aspirations!

Similarly, many universities have Greek life organizations. If you’re going to mention an extracurricular, name which ones and why. Perhaps a particular Greek organization on this campus is affiliated with your major; maybe a chapter is politically motivated with a cause you’ve previously championed; maybe a fraternity is historically associated with your ethnicity or race and you’d love to take part in that community.

Closing Thoughts on the “Why This College?” Essay

As you write a “Why This College?” Essay, remember that this essay is perhaps the first conversation you’ll have about your relationship with a university – a relationship that, if you’re accepted, will be a formative one for the rest of your life. Good luck!

[i] “Completing Your Northwestern Application,” Application Materials: Undergraduate Admissions – Northwestern University, 2024. https://admissions.northwestern.edu/apply/requirements.html

• College Essay

Jamie Smith

For the past decade, Jamie has taught writing and English literature at several universities, including Boston College, the University of Pittsburgh, and Carnegie Mellon University. She earned a Ph.D. in English from Carnegie Mellon, where she currently teaches courses and conducts research on composition, public writing, and British literature.

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Why I Want to Apply For the Exchange Program Essay Example

I am Foo Jia Wen, a student from Interaction Design Department at Taipei Tech University. I want to apply for the exchange program to study abroad in semester 108-1.

I am an adventurous person, and I am always thinking to get myself out of comfort zone. That was the reason I chose to study in Taiwan instead of my hometown Malaysia. After studying for 2 years in Taiwan, I felt like getting used to the environment here, and I missed those challenging parts of life. So I am now seeking for some new challenges. Dealing with the unfamiliar environment may be suffering, but it cultivates growth in mental strength.

Taiwan is familiar with my hometown in many aspects such as culture, language, and food. Through books and the Internet, I learn that Westerners can be quite different from us. This exchange program is a precious opportunity for me to explore and embrace the diversity of the world. I will try to engage in the classes and collaborate with the local students there for our assignments. By teaming up with them, I can train my social skill to work with people regardless of our differences in perspectives and values. 

Although we have English classes every week, still for practicing purpose we are undeniably lacking English-speaking occasions here. I am afraid that I will not be capable to speak English well after staying for long. This exchange program to English-speaking country offers oral skill practice environment. This will not only improve my fluency in English but most importantly, the confidence to communicate with those native English speakers.

Furthermore, the USA is a country where cool innovations take places and where creative people all around the world gather. By getting there, I believe that I will obtain deeper insight and more inspirations which are crucial in interaction design major. During the exchange program, I am going to participate in the workshops and go to the talks. I will make some videos or write some articles about those inspired me and perhaps, put them on the Internet. I have long desired to visit, discover and share.

I also planned to further my study in Western countries after graduation, and the USA is currently my top option. So I hope that the experience and information from this exchange program can help me to make my final decision. I am looking forward to this study exchange, and I know it will be a fulfillment in my university life.

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