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500 Words Essay On My Parents

We entered this world because of our parents. It is our parents who have given us life and we must learn to be pleased with it. I am grateful to my parents for everything they do for me. Through my parents essay, I wish to convey how valuable they are to me and how much I respect and admire them.

my parents essay

My Strength My Parents Essay

My parents are my strength who support me at every stage of life. I cannot imagine my life without them. My parents are like a guiding light who take me to the right path whenever I get lost.

My mother is a homemaker and she is the strongest woman I know. She helps me with my work and feeds me delicious foods . She was a teacher but left the job to take care of her children.

My mother makes many sacrifices for us that we are not even aware of. She always takes care of us and puts us before herself. She never wakes up late. Moreover, she is like a glue that binds us together as a family.

Parents are the strength and support system of their children. They carry with them so many responsibilities yet they never show it. We must be thankful to have parents in our lives as not everyone is lucky to have them.

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While my mother is always working at home, my father is the one who works outside. He is a kind human who always helps out my mother whenever he can. He is a loving man who helps out the needy too.

My father is a social person who interacts with our neighbours too. Moreover, he is an expert at maintaining his relationship with our relatives. My father works as a businessman and does a lot of hard work.

Even though he is a busy man, he always finds time for us. We spend our off days going to picnics or dinners. I admire my father for doing so much for us without any complaints.

He is a popular man in society as he is always there to help others. Whoever asks for his help, my father always helps them out. Therefore, he is a well-known man and a loving father whom I look up to.

Conclusion of My Parents Essay

I love both my parents with all my heart. They are kind people who have taught their children to be the same. Moreover, even when they have arguments, they always make up without letting it affect us. I aspire to become like my parents and achieve success in life with their blessings.

FAQ of My Parents Essay

Question 1: Why parents are important in our life?

Answer 1: Parents are the most precious gifts anyone can get. However, as not everyone has them, we must consider ourselves lucky if we do. They are the strength and support system of children and help them out always. Moreover, the parents train the children to overcome challenges and make the best decision for us.

Question 2: What do parents mean to us?

Answer 2: Parents mean different things to different people. To most of us, they are our source of happiness and protection. They are the ones who are the closest to us and understand our needs without having to say them out loud. Similarly, they love us unconditionally for who we are without any ifs and buts.

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Narrative Essay: I Love My Parents

Parents are the closest people that we have in our lives, whether we realize it or not. They love us not because we are smart, beautiful, successful or we have a good sense of humour, but just because we are their children. I, too, love mom and dad simply because they are my parents, but I think I would have felt the same even if they weren’t. I love who they are as people, each with their own individual traits – and, together, forming an amazing super-team that’s made me who I am today and taught me what life is all about.

My mother is a cheerful, chatty perfectionist who seems to always find something to get excited about and who can talk for hours about animals and flowers. She is never afraid to speak her mind and she can be very convincing when she wants to. She sometimes get upset a bit too easily, but she is just as quick to forgive and forget. I love mom for all that she is – even when she’s angry – for all that she has done for me, and for all that she’s taught me. My mom has been through a lot throughout the years, but she always kept fighting.She taught me to never lose hope even in the direst of moments, and she showed me how to look for happiness in the small things. She’s been trying to teach me to be more organized as well, but hasn’t succeeded yet. I love her for that too.

My father is quiet, patient and calm, and he has an adorable hit-and-miss sense of humour. I may not always find his jokes that funny, but I love him for trying. Dad almost never gets angry and he is always polite, friendly and nice to everyone. He is not the one to verbalize emotions, but he always shows his feelings through sweet gestures and little surprizes. He is the pacifist in our family and never goes against mom’s wishes, but he runs a large company witha firm hand. I love my father for all these characteristics and for all he’s sacrificed to build a better life for us. He’s worked day and night to ensure we afford good education and have a rich, wonderful childhood, and he has passed up many great opportunities for the benefit of our family. I love dad because he’s taught me that you cannot have it all in life, but with hard work and dedication, you can have what matters most to you.

Mom and dad may be very different people, but they complement each other perfectly. Together, they formed a super-team that was always there – and, thankfully, still is – to provide comfort, nurturing, and support and help me grow as a person. Their complementary personalities bring balance in our family, and each of them steps in whenever they are needed the most. Together, they taught me to believe in myself and have turned me into a fighter. Their care and dedication towards me and each other has served as an example of what healthy relationships should be like, and I love and admire them for that.

I love my parents because they are my parents, my good friends, my heroes, my role models, my safe haven, my pillars of strength.I am who I am today thanks to them, and I know that their support and affection will play an essential role in what I will become in the future.All I can hope is that, when I have children of my own, I will be half as good a parent as they were to me.

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Essay on My Parents

9 Essays on My Parents | Why I Love my Mom & Dad [ 2024 ]

Our parents are our heroes. We can never deny the role and value of parents in our life. The following essay discusses the importance, role, love, and sacrifices of parents for children.

Essay on Parents For Children & Students

The life without parents is a worst life ever. Parents are support and shade for us. The value of parents in our lives can never be ignored. They play a very great role in our lives. They protect us and give every sacrifice to make us happy and pleased. Parents are our true guardians. The are the real reasons of our success and happiness in this world.

I Love my Parents

I love my parents. They are standing beside me in my every walk of life. My hero is my mom. She wakes up early in the morning. She works for our family from dawn to dusk. She is the best house manager. She takes care of everything in our house.

As soon she wakes up, she starts thinking about ourselves. She runs to the kitchen. She prepares tasty breakfast for us. Her breakfast is always delicious. She takes great care in making the food of our choice. After making our tasty breakfast, my mother quickly fills up our lunch boxes with tasty food.

She always fills our lunch boxes with additional tasty food so that we can share that our friends. I really appreciate my parents and especially my mom.

Essay on My Parents

The Role of Mother & Father in our Life

The love of mother is simply matchless. Soon after we come home after school is up, we always find our mother standing at the gate of our house. We feel very pleased and my mother hugs all of us.

Read Also: My Father Essays & Paragraphs For Students

She take great care of our health. She regularly consult with our family doctor so that we stay healthy and strong. in addition to housework, my mother also help us in our school homework. She is best at drawing. She drawing fancy pictures, portraits and cartoons. We all feel wonderful at her drawing skills.

My hero is my dad. The father is always considered as an unsung hero. But it is not the fact. In addition to mother, the value, role and responsibility of father is always prideful. We all greatly love our father. My father is an Engineer. Though he is always busy in his schedule yet he takes good care of all of us.

We all family members go to weekly dinner and sightseeing outside. In addition to that, during our summer vacation we all family members go to country side trip. We all enjoy a lot there. My father is always concerned for everything about us. Though he is busy in his job yet he always remembers everything about us.

The love of parents for their children is of great value . Had there been no support of parents we would not have been here. We would not have smiled, laughed and became successful. Therefore, we must appreciate our parents for so many reasons.

We must try to help our parents by fulfilling their desires of being successful. We must thank God for blessing us with the support, guide and protection of our parents. May our Parents live long happily and peacefully.

Essay on My Parents for Class 1:

My parents are the most important people in my life. They have always been there for me, supporting and guiding me through every step of my journey. I am very lucky to have them as my parents.

My mother is a homemaker and she takes care of our family with so much love and dedication. She wakes up early every day to prepare delicious meals for us and makes sure that our home is always clean and organized. She has taught me the value of hard work, discipline and kindness.

My father is a businessman and he works very hard to provide for our family. He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams and never give up on them. He has also instilled in me the importance of being responsible and independent.

Together, my parents have raised me to be a kind, compassionate and responsible person. They have always supported my education and extracurricular activities, and have taught me the importance of balancing both.

I am grateful for all the sacrifices they have made for me and I hope to make them proud in everything I do. My parents are my role models and I aspire to be like them one day. Their unconditional love and support is something I will always cherish. I am blessed to have them as my parents.

Essay on My Parents For Class 2:

My parents are the most important people in my life. They take care of me, love me unconditionally and support me in everything I do. I feel blessed to have such wonderful parents.

My mom is a kind and loving person. She works hard to provide for our family and always puts our needs before her own. She makes the best food and always makes sure that I am well-fed and healthy. She also helps me with my studies and teaches me important values like honesty, kindness, and compassion.

My dad is my hero. He is a strong and hardworking man who always puts his family first. He is my role model and has taught me to never give up on my dreams. He plays with me, takes me to the park and helps me with my homework. I love spending time with him.

I am lucky to have such loving parents who always support and encourage me. We share a special bond that cannot be described in words. They are always there for me when I need someone to talk to or when I need a shoulder to cry on.

My parents mean everything to me. They have given me the best childhood and have taught me important life lessons. I am grateful for their love, care, and guidance. I hope to make them proud in everything I do. I will always cherish the memories we create together as a family and will forever be grateful for having such amazing parents . So, I will always love and respect them with all my heart. They are my superheroes! They are the foundation of my happiness and success in life

Essay on My Parents For Class 3

My parents are the most amazing people in my life. They have given me the best gift of all time, which is my life. I am so grateful to them for bringing me into this world and making me who I am today.

My father is a hardworking man. He works tirelessly every day to provide for our family. He never complains and always puts his family first. I have learned the value of hard work and determination from him.

My mother is a kind, caring, and loving person. She takes care of us in every way possible. She makes sure that we are well-fed, clean, and happy at all times. She also teaches me important values like respect, honesty, and compassion.

Together, my parents make a great team. They support each other in every decision they make and always put their family first. They have taught me the importance of family and how to be there for your loved ones no matter what.

I am truly blessed to have such amazing parents who love me unconditionally and have always been there for me through thick and thin . I cannot imagine my life without them and I will always be grateful for everything they have done for me.

In conclusion, my parents are the best gift of my life. They are my role models, my teachers, and my biggest supporters. I am proud to call them my parents and I hope to make them proud in everything I do. So, we all should love and respect our parents as they are the ones who have given us this beautiful life. They deserve all the love and appreciation in the world. Let’s cherish them and make them feel special every day! So, let’s take a moment to thank our parents for everything they have done for us and continue to do so.

Essay on My Parents For Class 4:

My parents are the most important people in my life. They have shaped me into the person I am today and have always been there for me through thick and thin. In this essay, I will be talking about my parents and how they play a vital role in my life.

My Parents – My Pillars of Strength

My mother is a homemaker and my father is a businessman. They both have different personalities but complement each other perfectly. My mother is kind, gentle and always puts others before herself. My father is hardworking, ambitious and always strives to achieve his goals.

Lessons Learned from my Parents

From my parents, I have learned many important life lessons that have helped me become a better person. They have taught me the value of hard work, determination and perseverance. They have always encouraged me to follow my dreams and never give up no matter how difficult the journey may be.

Role Models for Life

Both my parents are my role models. They have shown me what it means to be selfless, loving and caring towards others. They have also instilled important values in me such as honesty, respect, and responsibility. Their unconditional love and support inspire me to be a better person every day.

Supporting Me in Every Step of My Journey

My parents have always been there for me no matter what. They have supported my decisions and stood by me through all the ups and downs of life. Their guidance and encouragement have helped me overcome challenges and achieve my goals.

My parents are my greatest blessings. They are the ones who have always believed in me and pushed me to be the best version of myself. I am grateful for their love, sacrifices, and dedication towards our family. I hope to make them proud by becoming a successful and responsible individual just like them

Essay on My Parents For Class 6

My parents are the most important people in my life. They have always been there for me, supporting and guiding me through every step of my journey. I am truly grateful to have them as my role models.

My father is a hardworking man who has taught me the value of perseverance and dedication. He works tirelessly to provide us with all the comforts of life and never complains about his responsibilities. He is my strength and I know that I can always count on him for anything.

My mother is the epitome of love, care and sacrifice. She has always put our needs before her own and has taught me to be selfless. She has instilled in me the importance of education and has been my biggest cheerleader throughout my academic journey.

Together, my parents have taught me the true meaning of love, respect and family. They have always been there to celebrate my successes and lift me up in times of failures. They have made countless sacrifices to ensure that I receive the best opportunities in life.

Apart from being amazing parents, they are also wonderful individuals who inspire me every day. My father’s intelligence and my mother’s kindness are traits that I admire and hope to emulate.

I am truly blessed to have such loving, caring and supportive parents who have shaped me into the person I am today. They are my biggest blessings and I will always be grateful for their unconditional love and unwavering support. So, I want to thank them from the bottom of my heart for everything they have done for me and continue to do. I hope to make them proud in all my future endeavors and be there for them just like they have been there for me. My parents are my greatest treasure and I am forever grateful to have them in my life.

Essay on Parents Role in our Life:

Parents are the first and most important teachers in a child’s life. They play a crucial role in shaping their children’s behaviors, attitudes and beliefs. From infancy to adulthood, parents guide and support their children to reach their full potential.

One of the primary responsibilities of parents is to provide love and care for their child. Children need a nurturing environment where they feel loved, safe and appreciated. This enables them to develop a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, which is essential for their emotional well-being.

Parents also have the responsibility to instill values and morals in their children. They act as role models for their kids and teach them important life lessons such as honesty, respect, kindness, empathy and responsibility. These values shape the character of children and help them become responsible, compassionate and ethical individuals.

Moreover, parents are the first ones to introduce their children to education. They encourage and support their kids in learning new things, whether at home or in school. Parents also play a crucial role in monitoring their child’s academic progress, providing necessary resources and helping them overcome any challenges they may face.

Aside from these roles, parents also serve as a source of emotional support for their children. They are there to listen, comfort and guide their kids through tough times. This support is vital in helping children develop resilience and coping skills.

In conclusion, parents play a significant role in the development of their children. From providing love and care to instilling values, encouraging education and offering emotional support, parents are the cornerstone of a child’s growth and well-being. We must recognize and appreciate the important role that parents play in our lives, and strive to support and learn from them as we navigate through life.

My Relationship with My Parents Essay:

Parents are the first and most important teachers in our lives. They are the ones who guide us, nurture us and support us through thick and thin. My parents have played a crucial role in shaping me into the person I am today.

Early Childhood

I still remember my early childhood days when my parents used to take care of all my needs without any complaints. They were always there to hold my hand and teach me the basic things in life such as walking, talking and eating. My parents were patient and loving, which helped me develop a strong bond with them.

My parents have always been involved in my education right from the start. They constantly motivated me to do well in school and encouraged me to pursue my interests. They were always there to help me with my homework, attend parent-teacher meetings and guide me in making important decisions about my academic future.

Apart from providing me with a solid education, my parents have also been my biggest support system. Whenever I faced any challenges or setbacks in life, they were the ones who stood by me and helped me get through it. Their unwavering love and support gave me the confidence to overcome any obstacle that came my way.

In conclusion, I am truly grateful for everything that my parents have done for me. They have been my pillars of strength and continue to be my biggest role models. I owe all my success and achievements to their constant love, guidance and support. I am lucky to have such amazing parents who have always been there for me, and I will always be grateful for their unwavering love and support. Overall, my relationship with my parents is the most precious and cherished bond in my life.

Respect of Parents Essay in English:

As children, we are taught to respect our parents. They are the ones who brought us into this world and have raised us with love and care. Our parents sacrifice their time, energy and resources to provide for us and ensure that we have a good life.

Respect towards our parents should come naturally as they are our first teachers. They instill values in us and guide us to become responsible and respectable individuals. It is important to show gratitude and appreciation towards our parents for all that they do for us.

We must always treat our parents with love, kindness and understanding, just as they have treated us throughout our lives. This will not only bring happiness and harmony in the family but also help us build strong relationships with our parents that will last a lifetime. So, let us never forget to respect and cherish our parents always.

Role of Parents in Bringing Up Child Essay:

The role of parents in bringing up a child is a crucial one. Parents are the first and most important teachers for their children, as they shape their child’s personality, values and beliefs. From the moment a child is born, parents are responsible for providing love, care and guidance to help them grow into responsible adults.

One of the primary responsibilities of parents is to provide a safe and nurturing environment for their child. This includes meeting their basic needs such as food, shelter, and clothing, as well as providing emotional support and stability. Parents also play a significant role in instilling discipline and teaching good manners to their child.

Furthermore, parents are also responsible for fostering a positive relationship with their child. This involves spending quality time together, having open and honest communication, and being actively involved in their child’s life. By doing so, parents can help their child develop healthy self-esteem, confidence and a sense of belonging.

In addition to these responsibilities, parents also serve as role models for their children. Children often imitate the behavior and attitudes of their parents, which is why it is crucial for parents to lead by example and demonstrate positive values and behaviors.

In conclusion, the role of parents in bringing up a child cannot be overstated. They provide love, support, guidance, and serve as role models to help their child grow into a responsible and well-rounded individual. It is a challenging but incredibly rewarding role that requires patience, understanding, and unconditional love.

  • How do I write an essay about my parents? To write an essay about your parents, focus on their roles in your life, their influence, and the impact they’ve had on your upbringing and personal development. Share personal anecdotes and express your feelings and gratitude.
  • What is the importance of parents in our life essay? In an essay about the importance of parents in our life, discuss their role in nurturing, supporting, and guiding us. Emphasize how they contribute to our emotional and social development and provide a sense of security and love.
  • What do you expect from your parents essay? In an essay about what you expect from your parents, you can discuss your hopes and needs regarding support, understanding, guidance, and the qualities you value in their parenting.
  • How do I write an essay about my mother? When writing an essay about your mother, describe her characteristics, her role in your life, and her influence on your development. Share anecdotes and express your appreciation and love for her.

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34 Comments

Very nice essay it’s written in a matured way about our parents and the role played by them in our lives . They are the real heroes in our life . What is written in the first line is true. I love this composition or essay very much.

Really nice essay

Yes this is a nice essay for me. About our parents and what they did for us. So all of u respect your parents including me…

It is very nice

Good…. Let our kids know the value of their parents…… . 😊😊😊

I really appreciate on your essay a very good n true lines on our parents how u have been type d essay sem even my parents r like

Parents are the candles ther lights us the way of success they are really fabulous for me

nobody on earth can ever love you more than your parent but i did not have parents

You should know that if you do not have a family that loves and protects you, know that God loves you and protects you always 🙂

After reading this esaay respect for my parents increases in my heart i always love them

Amazing essay……. Thanx for this contribution.. 😀😀😀😄😄😀😀😀

I got emotional when I was reading. Thank you.

It is really a good essay on

It’s so much nice superpb👍👍👍!!

It’s very good.

Thanks For Your Words!

Nice think ever thank you for creating

My Pleasure!

FAM nice essay.

we never know the love of parent till we become a parent ourselves

True that! Thanks for kind words

Without parents we are really nothing

Yes it true parents are our hero

The world will give way to those who have goals and visions

Sooo emotional essay

Very nice essay…..👌👌👌👌

very very nice

Wow, It realized me that how parents are importan

We should pray to God that he should give the strength to keep our parents in peace. We should always respect our parents because without parents live is useless.

Very good essay ✌✌✌✌✌

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Essay On Parents

To think, talk or write about parents can take one on an emotional roller-coaster ride. Parents are the most significant and influential people in every child's life. Right from giving us birth, parents toil hard to make us independent and self-sufficient individuals. Here are a few sample essays on “Parents”.

100 Words Essay On Parents

200 words essay on parents, 500 words essay on parents.

Essay On Parents

The influence of parents on children's life is significant, we are because they are. They are responsible for giving birth as well as bringing them up in a healthy way. Right from the day a child is born, parents take care of their every need and groom them to become effective members of society. They are essential to each stage of a child's development. Parents are givers of love, support, care and direction which is needed for one to move forward in life. Nothing is more reassuring and calming for a person than their parents’ arms, no matter how old they get.

For a youngling, parents are providers of everything. From the basic needs of food and personal hygiene, love and care, to all material needs and requirements. Parents toil hard in their respective occupations to give the best possible lives to their children. They do all in their power to make their children all their wishes.

First Teachers | Parents are a child's first teachers, and teach the essence of integral living. The lessons a child learns by observing their parents and listening to them are invaluable, and their real value is often understood after growing up and seeing some of life. It is from parents that children learn to face difficult situations and challenges in life.

Givers Of Love | Unconditional love and acceptance from parents is essential for the healthy development of any child into an adult. A child, whatever age they might be, is likely to feel more motivated to study, work, and achieve their goals if they know they have their parents to fall back upon. Some of the renowned psychologists of the world have established that the quality of one’s relationship with their parents has a huge impact on the kind of relationships they form as adults.

They say, it is at the birth of the child that a parent is born. The art of parenting is difficult to develop and maintain, there is something new to learn at every step. There is no turning back once one signs up for it. Parents need to carefully manage their time and mindfully manage work and personal life, such that they’re able to give adequate time to their children.

Parents As Providers | Like the human body needs food, water, and oxygen to survive, the body and the mind also need love, affection, and security to thrive. All these needs are, for the first few years of life, fulfilled solely by one’s parents. Parents share all our joys and griefs. They laugh when we laugh, and cry when we cry.

Lifelong Companions | Parental influence on a child's growth is fundamental. The journey from childhood to adulthood is full of physiological, psychological, and social changes. It is easier and less of a pain for individuals to go through these changes and deal with the various challenges they bring, if the journey is backed by the unconditional acceptance and support of parents.

Remind Us Of Strengths | Parents try to provide the best of education to their children. It is said that it is one’s parents who are the most well-aware of one’s skills, strengths, and limitations. Whenever needed, parents remind us of our strengths and encourage us to steer through all the challenges that come our way.

My Relationship With My Parents

I live in a family of six, including my parents, grandparents, my younger brother, and me. My father is a businessman, he is a builder with the govt., while my mother is a homemaker. When I was younger, I used to closer to my mother, share everything with her, spend time with her, but extremely scared of my father. My father had a controlling nature and so I thought he would get angry if I shared anything with him.

My Father And I | But as I grew up, I saw my father encouraging me to hone my talents of dancing, singing, and swimming. He got me enrolled in the best classes for each of these in our locality and would make sure that he dropped me and picked me up from the classes everyday. I realised that my father wanted me to become the best version of myself and polish each skill and talent I possessed, so I could feel proud of myself. One day, one of our relatives commented on me being slightly overweight. My father sensed that I felt embarrassed and that it was wrong of my aunt to comment like that, and so he immediately told my aunt that his daughter would live the kind of life she wanted to and that no one should comment on her choices, in any way.

My Mother And I | My mother and I are like the closest of friends. Not a day goes when I don’t sit with her to discuss what happens in school and among my friends. She never judges me and only tries to handhold me in situations where she feels I feel challenged. We go for lunch to some nice place once in a week and also do some shopping during those outings. She cooks my favourite dishes for me and pampers me like a little baby.

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My relationship with my parents has always been difficult and I wonder if I should cut all ties?

My relationship with my parents is difficult and painful and I am wondering whether I should continue to see them. I was the youngest child. My father is an alcoholic and was drinking when I was growing up (he has now stopped) and my mother was emotionally distant – working hard as the only supporter of the family, but spending much of her free time out of the house, away from my father. She  always provided me with clothes, books and amazing travel opportunities, but never gave me any emotional support.

As a teenager, I developed eating disorders. My father persecuted me, blaming me for the family’s problems. We had volatile fights. My mother didn’t know how to deal with this and buried her head in the sand. I attempted suicide twice. I was given antidepressants, but therapy never followed.

At 18, I left for university (my mother fought my father over this, as he didn’t want me to leave home). I struggled with my eating disorders for years, eventually stopping with the help of therapy.

I am now in my 40s, married to a wonderful, supportive husband, and love being mother to two happy children and enjoy fulfilling work. However, I struggle hugely when visiting my family. I only see them once every year or two. Everyone tries to act as if we are a big, happy family. I struggle to pretend everything is OK, as I am angry and hurt. My parents make hurtful, insensitive remarks that take me back to being a teenager. Part of me doesn’t want to see my family at all. I debate whether it is worth discussing these issues with them, but I am not sure they have the emotional intelligence to engage and fear I will be left vulnerable and disappointed again.

I edited out some key details to protect your identity. Sometimes, in complicated families, the tendency is to look back to try to make sense of things, and this has great merit. But it can take much energy, and provide little resolution. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to look at the now, and work forwards.

Chris Mills, an experienced psychotherapist ( ukcp.org.uk ), thinks it is amazing that, despite everything that has happened, you are not repeating patterns in your family and have created a good life for yourself. He says: “Sometimes, someone [in the family] takes a deep breath, does the work and stops the rot.”

Mills thinks there are some “green shoots” in the bleakness of your early years. Namely, that your mother did things that “could be described as emotional support in the way that she could. She showed that you had value and you were worth doing things for.”

I think the fact that she stood up to your father – when she usually didn’t – in facilitating you to leave home, was very telling.

You have been through some incredibly tough emotional landscapes and now you find yourself struggling with the way your family is. “What you seem to be finding unbearable,” says Mills, “is that you have to put a brave face on it [when you get together with your family], whereas you’ve dedicated your life to being authentic, and suddenly you have to go back.” Mills and I feel it is “crucially important” that you know you don’t have to continue having contact with your family.

But, some things to think about. Often when people write to me about wanting to sever contact, it is the actual act of cutting ties they focus on, but that is not the hardest bit; neither is it always the closure they hope for. You need to think about whether it is just your parents you want to cut ties with or your siblings, too? What about wider family? What about your children and their relationship with your family? It is up to you who you no longer see, and you can make it clear if you want your children to continue to have a relationship with them. But that may mean you also still have some contact (you don’t say how old your children are).

“If you decide you want to stay in contact,” suggests Mills, “you could do something incredibly brave – and you are incredibly brave. You could write them a letter – not an email – saying: ‘I want us to talk about the past, not to beat anyone up about it, but so we can have a shared reality, because I need that.’”

Of course, there may be no response. “As you see it,” says Mills, “there’s a family story your family cling to. And, largely, people don’t like it when others come in telling them that story is wrong. So they may rather scapegoat you than listen to your other story.”

I think you need to be realistic about how much they will change.

I asked Mills how you could accept the anger and he explained it was OK to be angry, but said: “Sometimes anger only recedes if you can express it.” But expressing it to your family – if they won’t listen – won’t bring the resolution you need.

But, says Mills: “All of us are entitled to protect ourselves from harm, wherever that harm comes from.” You have the right not to have to see your parents if you don’t want to. If you do still see them, “you have to manage your expectations,” says Mills. “If you do cut ties, remember you are doing it for the best reasons; it’s not an aggressive thing, but protective. There are conditions attached whatever you do. There will probably be no golden sunset where your parents are concerned. But you have created the golden sunset – in your own life.”

In the UK the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Other international suicide helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

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Contact Annalisa Barbieri, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU or email [email protected] . Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence

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My Parents – The People I Admire The Most

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Published: Dec 16, 2021

Words: 480 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited:

  • Burns, J. M. (1991). Leadership. Harper Collins.
  • Floyd, K., & Guerrero, L. K. (2016). Nonverbal communication in close relationships. Routledge.
  • Goman, C. K. (2008). The nonverbal advantage: Secrets and science of body language at work. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
  • Kreps, G. L. (1995). Communication and leadership. Journal of Health Communication, 20(2), 137-141.
  • Mehrabian, A. (1981). Silent messages: Implicit communication of emotions and attitudes. Wadsworth Publishing Company.
  • Murphy, K. R., & Johnson, S. K. (2011). The dark side of leadership. Routledge.
  • Pearce, C. L. (1997). The future of leadership: Combining vertical and shared leadership to transform knowledge work. The Academy of Management Executive, 11(3), 7-17.
  • Scherer, K. R., Banse, R., & Wallbott, H. G. (2010). Emotions in close relationships. Psychology Press.
  • Stewart, J. (2018). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. McGraw-Hill Education.
  • Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., & Jackson, D. D. (2011). Pragmatics of human communication: A study of interactional patterns, pathologies, and paradoxes. WW Norton & Company.

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  • You and Your Parents
  • Improving Relations with Parents

How to Develop a Better Relationship With Your Parents

Last Updated: March 26, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 11 testimonials and 81% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 218,849 times.

Problems between parents and children are common and timeless. If you are looking to improve your relationship with your parents, you are not alone. Developing a better relationship with your parents involves assessing the underlying cause of the issues, fostering a more mature relationship with them, and focusing on changing how you think and behave. If you currently have a negative relationship with your parents, or a so-so relationship, but desire to improve it, there are a number of steps that can be taken to make that happen.

Changing Yourself

Step 1 Act first.

  • Let your parents know that you are appreciative for all they have done for you. It can hurt to feel taken for granted, even for parents.
  • Show your appreciation with your actions. Get them a nice gift or, if you live with your parents, do some extra housework without being asked. They will likely be happy with you for this.

Step 3 Separate from your parents emotionally.

  • Focus less on seeking their approval. Be willing to define yourself and your self-worth through your own eyes.
  • Acknowledge your past, then move on. Your relationship with your parents may have been rough before. Remember this and assess the role you have played in your relationship with your parents, but do not let it define your relationship going forward. [4] X Research source

Step 4 Take their perspective.

  • Accept that your parents are different. They grew up in a different generation with different social norms and rules of conduct, with different technologies and ways of thinking, with parents who treated them certain ways, that was probably much different that the ways of parenting today. [6] X Research source Think about the ways that their lives may have been different from your life, and how these different histories may be contributing to issues in the relationship.
  • Try using this information when you talk about improving your relationship with them. Remind them that times change and ask them to think about their relationship with their own parents. See if they can recall any issues in their relationship with their parents that were due to these 'generational' differences.
  • For example, if your relationship with your parents is rocky because they disapprove of you moving in with your significant other before marriage, try reminding them that in their generation people were even more conservative still, and that times change and it is in fact quite common to move in with a significant other without being married.

Step 5 Develop your own identity.

  • Engage in self-discovery. Hold aside what everyone else thinks about you and how you should live your life, including your parents, and ask yourself some serious questions about yourself. Be sure to honestly answer questions such as "what feelings do I want to feel most?" or "what do I want to spend more of my time on?" or "what are my talents?" or "what kind of person am I?"
  • Consider whether you are going along with your parents' opinion because you also believe it or because your automatic inclination is to think what they do about something (such as about your relationships, politics or even simple things like your favorite sports team, for example).

Step 6 Think of them as other adults, not parents.

  • For example, if you continue to expect them to support you financially, you may be leaving the door open for your parents to give you too much unwanted advice or guilt you into spending time with them. [8] X Research source

Changing the Relationship Dynamic

Step 1 Figure out the underlying cause.

  • You may feel that you parents give too much unwanted advice, treat you like a kid, do not respect your opinions, guilt you into spending time with them, or disrespect your friends or spouse. Be sure to have a good sense of the particular aspect of your relationship that you want to improve.

Step 2 Be respectful.

  • There are a number of ways in which you can be respectful. Try using polite language (such as "sorry" or "would you mind if"), speaking modestly ("it may be" instead of "it definitely is"), and letting them finish speaking before you take your turn.

Step 3 Don't let things fester.

  • When you are interacting with your parents and you feel a wave of strong emotion coming on, re-assess the situation that led to your strong feelings by asking yourself some questions. [10] X Research source
  • For example, if you are in a disagreement with your parents about mowing the lawn you might ask: "In the grand scheme of things, how bad will it really be to mow the lawn?"
  • Or, if you don't live with your parents but they are overly involved, asking you detailed questions about your job and giving unwanted advice, you might ask: "What is their motivation for wanting to be so involved? Is it that they care about me and are worried about my financial security?" Asking yourself questions like this may lead you to feel less upset and it may give you insight into how you should respond to your parents. In this case, you may try to improve your relationship by easing their worries about your financial future.
  • If re-assessing your situation doesn't work to reduce how emotional you feel, try asking politely whether you can continue the discussion once you have cooled your jets. Explain that you are feeling really upset and don’t want to accidentally say something rude or regretful. [11] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source

Step 5 Be positive.

  • To get around this, try only asking for their advice when you are sure that you really want it. If you are just feeling lazy to think about things on your own, and so you ask your parents, you may be opening the door to frustration on your part.

Step 7 Be open and honest.

  • Keep in regular contact so your parents can get a better perspective on your life, what upsets you, and what makes you happy. If they do not know you that well, it will be difficult for them to try to improve the relationship. If you listen to your parents they will be more likely to listen to you, opening the door for you to try discussing improving the relationship. [14] X Research source

Step 8 Establish boundaries and make rules.

  • Sit down with your parents and tell them you want to improve your relationship with them, but that in order to do so, you think it would be helpful if there were some rules. Ask that they make a list of the rules they would like implemented, and you do the same.
  • If you are a teenager or child, rules can include not bringing up certain topics, giving you a chance to try things on your own, or letting you stay out later at night as long as you check in by text or call and can prove that you are being responsible.
  • If you are an adult, rules can include asking your parents not to interfere with the way you are choosing to parent your own children, or asking your parents not to comment negatively about your significant other.
  • Discuss the different rules, and narrow them down to a list that you all agree on. Check in occasionally to see whether you and your parents are still happy in following the rules that you have agreed on.

Step 9 Avoid unnecessary arguments.

The Takeaway: Getting Along Better with Your Parents

Spend more quality time with your parents and share your feelings with them openly and honestly to build trust. Be respectful and stay positive to avoid any unnecessary arguments. If you need help with something, don't be afraid to ask for it.

Expert Q&A

  • Recognize that you probably can't change your parents much. If you want to maintain a positive relationship with your parents, understand that largely, you will need to deal with them as they are. Although in talking with them you can work on changing your relationship dynamic, this will take time and it can be difficult to change people’s behavior in drastic ways, particularly in the short term. Remember to keep patient as you navigate improving your relationship! Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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Help Your Busy Mother Out Around the House

  • ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-insights-on-improving-mother-daughter-relationships/
  • ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-create-a-healthy-adult-relationship-with-mom-and-dad/
  • ↑ http://www.researchgate.net/publication/236587449_Emphatic_Perspective_Taking_in_Family_Relationships._a_social_relations_analysis
  • ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/tips_disagree.html?tracking=T_RelatedArticle
  • ↑ http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2009/10/teen-maturity.aspx
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile
  • ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/talk_to_parents.html#
  • ↑ https://www.canadianliving.com/life-and-relationships/family/article/how-to-maintain-a-healthy-adult-relationship-with-your-parents
  • ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/Parents/fight.html#

About This Article

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

It can be tough if you have a negative relationship with your parents, but with some planning, you can start to improve your relationship. Even if you don't agree with their parenting style, try to be respectful and polite, which will help prevent them from getting defensive. If you have a disagreement with your parents, stay calm and consider whether it’s something worth arguing about. If it really is, try to reason with your parents. Keep in mind that it's okay to have your own opinions, and you and your parents probably won't agree on everything. If your parent's input in your life is really hurting you, consider separating yourself emotionally from them. Focus less on seeking their approval since having some distance may actually help improve your relationship. To learn how to establish boundaries with your parents, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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relationship to my parents essay

How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents: A Delicate Guide

  • by Celes     |    
  • Filed in Family , Relationships

This is the last part  of a 4-part series on how to improve your relationship with your parents.

  • Part 1 : How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 1: A Child’s Wish
  • Part 2 : How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 2: A Pervasive, Widening Gap
  • Part 3 : How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 3: Revelations and Happiness
  • Part 4 : How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents: A Delicate Guide

Family running on a field

As you look at your relationship with your parents today, how would you describe it?

Is it a state you are happy with? Would you rate it 10/10? Is it one where you’ll say “this is the best, most ideal state I can ever be with my parents”?

Many of you shared in the comments about your strained relationship with your parents. Some of you have tried multiple times to mend things, but with little success. Some of you are frustrated with where the relationship is heading. Some of you face difficulty communicating with your parents, even though theoretically it shouldn’t be the case since you speak the same language.

I’d like to thank all of you for sharing your stories so openly. Whatever the difficulty you’re facing with your parents today, I’d like to let you know that you’re not alone in the problem. I struggled in my relationship with my parents for one and a half decade. During this period, I faced multiple challenges before I was finally able to achieve resolution in this area.

Challenges in Improving Parent-Child Relationships

Relationships are always the hardest goals to work on, because they involve another party. This adds a whole new dynamic, compared to goals like earn $X income or lose X weight, which are more static and linear.

Especially parent-child relationships – they are even more challenging due to the following reasons:

  • Years of baggage . Unlike other relationships where you start from a clean slate, with parent-child relationships, you have baggage built up from young. This weighs down the relationship. Rather than work towards the vision, sometimes you may need to work through the baggage first, which makes the goal bigger than it already is. Also this baggage may house subconscious triggers which make you behave out of character around your parents, making it even harder to work on the goal objectively.
  • Non-reciprocation . While deep down you may want to improve your relationship with your parents, your parents may not have that intention. They may well be okay with how the relationship is today. This makes it near impossible to improve the situation, since effort is required both ways to make things work.
  • Differences in vision . What is your ideal for your relationship with your parents? For them to be stronger mentor figures? To be more open in communication? To be more emotionally expressive? To be good friends with each other? Whatever it is, they may not share the same ideal. If that’s the case, if expectations are already different at the on-start, conflict is inevitable.
  • Generation gap . Being brought up in different generations create deep-seated implications, from differences in communication style, mindset, world views, philosophy on life, way of expressing love, and so on. With my parents, our generation gap created a very deep chasm that made it near impossible us to communicate, until after I came to my revelations .
  • Different personality types . Your parents may have personalities which make it impossible for you to relate to. With my mom, she can be very stubborn, opinionated, and difficult. With my dad, he’s very quiet and inexpressive. Our personalities don’t gel at all, and this made it very difficult for me when I was trying to work through the relationship at the beginning.

How to Improve Your Relationship with Parents

See it as a journey.

The first thing I want to point out is that improving your relationship with your parents isn’t a “follow X-step and Y-step, then you can see results right away” goal. In fact, you may not even see any changes for a while for that matter. To improve your relationship with your parents is an ongoing, work-in-process goal — an end point does not exist.

While I was working on my relationship with my parents in the past, one of my biggest challenges was that my efforts often seemed futile. For example, when I tried to strike up a conversation with my parents, they were not receptive. There was a period two years ago when I went all out to draw us closer, making big steps (in my opinion) like hugging them and writing cards to tell them how much I loved them and appreciated them for bringing me up.

The response ranged from weak to negative. With the hugging, my mom violently pushed me away as I mentioned in  Part-2: A Pervasive, Widening Gap , much to my shock and horror. My dad didn’t return the hug. With the cards, there was no direct response from my dad or mom. With the conversation attempts, my mom would snap back and ask me why I was asking so many questions, while my dad would give his usual mono-syllabic responses.

There was even a point when I wanted to rearrange the layout in the kitchen because we had an awkward dining room layout that prevented the family from having meals together. We would always be dining separately – my brother and me in our rooms, my mom in the kitchen, and my dad in the living room. However when I suggested the idea, my mom would vehemently rejected it (as she hated change); and when I went ahead and did it anyway, she lost her temper and shifted everything back.

That was when I realized my relationship with my parents wasn’t one that could be mended overnight. We’re not talking about mending a one-time conflict. We’re talking about mending a lifetime of arguments, miscommunication, conflicts, and misunderstandings .

To think that I could resolve all past grievances with just a few “nice” actions was incredibly naive on my part. Even though I did muster a lot of strength to initiate the hugs and write/give them the cards, these actions alone were not enough to mend the gap. Clearly, *a lot* more work had to be done. (I continued to work on the relationship for years after that, even to this day.)

If I switched to their perspective, their (lack of) reaction at that time was completely understandable. Imagine — Up till that point, all our interactions had been abrasive, usually from me to them. Hence for me to suddenly be warm and fuzzy towards them – it was no wonder they were unsure of how to act. They had probably formed a hard shell all these years to protect themselves from further hurt. They probably thought my niceness was a fluke; a randomity; that things would go back to the way they were the next day, and I would be abrasive towards them again.

It was then my responsibility to let them know that things were truly different, that I had grown into a different person, and that I was serious about improving our relationship. How? Not through saying it, but through consistent effort. Through consistent effort on my part, they slowly became more receptive to my actions.

Remember these things take time. The rebuilding of trust is a delicate process.

If you want to improve your relationship with your parents, be ready to commit to this as a journey, and not some X step, X thing you execute in one week or one month. Let them know you’re truly sincere in changing the situation. Let them know that you’re not just doing this as a one-off fluke. Anticipate negativity in their reactions at first, because your changed behavior is probably new to them and they’re trying to adjust. Consistent effort is the key.

Release the parent-child ideal in your mind

Happy family walking on a field

Many of us have a parent-child ideal etched in our mind – be it from when we were a child, or as a teenager. This ideal probably formed when we were watching TV, when we witnessed interactions between our friends and their parents, when we read about parent-child relationships in books, and the like.

Believe it or not, the best way to progress your relationship with your parents is to drop the ideal. Drop whatever ideal you have painted in your head for you and your parents. The sooner you release yourself of this self-limiting vision, the sooner the relationship will blossom and come into its own.

As you’ve read from my story , my past parent-child relationship ideal was for my parents to be my best friends . I yearned for us to communicate openly and share anything and everything with each other. I yearned for us to be able to express our care and concern for each other, without reservation. I yearned for us to discuss decisions about my life, to have intelligent conversations, to engage each other on a deep, meaningful level.

When I worked on our relationship with this ideal in mind, I faced resistance the whole time – from them to me, from me to them, and from me to myself. In all my efforts to create an open communication channel with my parents, I would be frustrated with them for not responding in kind.

Why are they not reciprocating my efforts? I thought. Why are they being so difficult? Can’t they see that I’m trying very hard to make things work out?

Ironically, it was when I dropped the ideal 3-4 months ago (in March ’11) that our relationship was finally able to grow (as I mentioned in Part-3: Revelations and Happiness ). It was then that I realized, to my shock, that my parents had been trying so hard to improve our relationship (via their own way) the entire time. I was unfortunately unable to “see” that because I was so fixated on my one ideal.

When you approach your relationship with your parents with a fixed ideal, you suffocate the relationship. Firstly, you limit how the relationship can develop. It’s like creating a scaffolding over a seedling and insisting it grows to X shape and Y size – it doesn’t work that way. Not only that, it’s unfair for your parents because it’s not an ideal you’ve consulted them on. It may be an ideal to you, but not to them, not to the family. The only situation when having an ideal works is when it has been co-created and endorsed by both parties.

The seedling, i.e. your relationship with your parents, can blossom to a beautiful plant on its own, but first you need to give it space to grow. Doing that means removing the scaffolding and eliminating your ideal, i.e. the “fixations” you have for the relationship. Stop expecting them to be someone/something they are not. Instead, accept them as who they are today.

Appreciate what they can offer in their capacity

A lot of times we get frustrated with our parents at all the things they don’t do or can’t do. For example, we may be frustrated at how they are so traditional. We may be frustrated at how close-minded they are. We may be frustrated at their resistance to everything we want to try or do in life. We may be frustrated at how slow they are with things.

Rather than get hung up over how your parents aren’t doing X or Y, learn to appreciate what they can offer in their capacity instead.

For example, say you’re frustrated that you only meet your parents once a month. And that even though you arrange for more frequent meet-ups, they never seem to make themselves available. It’s easy to be annoyed with your parents because your ideal is to meet every week. But if you let go of the ideal (see previous point) and appreciate what they can offer you in their current capacity (which is to meet once a month only), you place much less tension on the relationship.

For me, I used to be frustrated at how my parents can’t fulfill my need to share and relate. I would ask them about themselves, and they would clam up. After I realized it was just not in their natural disposition to talk about themselves or their feelings, I realized I was being selfish by imposing my needs on them. With that, I learned to let go of this expectation, and instead have learned to appreciate what they can offer.

For example, my dad cooks, so when I’m at home, I will eat out less often so that he can cook for me. My mom is a meticulous housemaker and she prides herself at keeping herself up to speed with the needs of the household. Hence, I will let her know if I want any groceries/vegetables/fruits so she can get them. Doing so make them happy, because it is their way of making a difference in my life. I am perfectly fine with cooking for myself or getting my own groceries, but because I know they want to be a part of my life, I create the space for them to do so.

Understand what you are looking for underneath the ideal

The parent-child ideal we create in our mind is usually a projection of something. Our desire to achieve the ideal represents an underlying need that yearns to be fulfilled. The sooner you can identify what you’re looking underneath the ideal, the sooner you can tackle that, as opposed to using the ideal as a proxy of achieving the need, because one may not equate to another.

Let me give an example. A while back, I worked with a client who wanted her dad to be a strong mentor figure. For her dad had always been busy with his work, and was often out of the picture in her life. She felt she lacked a strong father figure. Because of that, she would seek older, fatherly figures to get guidance – be it in her professors, in her bosses, or in her pastors.

Despite all the guidance she received, she still longed for her dad to step in as her mentor.

Father and child at the sea

Was the problem because she lacked guidance? No, it wasn’t. She had more smart, highly capable and successful figures giving her support and advice than anyone else. In fact, many people I know don’t have a mentor, and they do perfectly well. Not only that, she is an incredibly smart and talented person. She is perfectly capable of guiding herself and solving her problems.

Truth is, she longed for her dad to be her mentor figure because she associated mentorship as love. To her, love meant being watched over, getting guidance and advice, being cared for, and so on.  Even though her dad would talk to her occasionally, ferry her to work, participate in family dinners, and spend time with the family when he was not working, these did not register as love to her.

Mentorship, on the other hand, did.

How about you? What is your ideal for your relationship with your parents?

If you look underneath this ideal, what is it you’re looking for?

Is achieving this ideal indicative of that need being met? Or is it just in your head?

In the past, I wanted my parents to be my best friends because I saw open communication and relating to one another as love. Hence, I went out of the way to bridge our communication gap. I tried to talk to them where I could. I would ask them questions about their day, how their work went, their future plans, etc.

If they reciprocated, that meant they loved me; if they didn’t, it meant they didn’t care.

At least that was what I thought.

Yet I was looking in the wrong place the whole time. For even though they didn’t reciprocate, it was because open communication was not their language of love (see below on “Language of Love”). They had been trying to show me they love me all this while, through their actions (as I shared in Part-3: Revelations and Happiness ). They had been trying so hard to express their love, but I had not been able to see it because I had been so blind-sided – so fixated on that one ideal, on that one expression of love.

If you’re reading PE, we’re probably similar in that you enjoy relating to others and having earnest, meaningful conversations. Chances are you would like to have deep conversations with your parents, beyond superficial chats. Chances are you want to hug and say “I love you” to your parents, if you’re not already doing so. Chances are you want to be emotionally closer to them. But for some reason, it’s not happening today.

If it helps, the reason why your parents aren’t doing that isn’t necessarily because they don’t love you. It’s probably because they’re not equipped in those “languages” of expression – be it sharing of emotions, open communication, physical hugging, or directly saying “I love you”. It’s just not how they express themselves to the world.

However, they would have their way of expressing love. Maybe it’s via disapproving of our decisions in life, because they are just too afraid we’ll suffer when we stray from the main path. Maybe it’s via constant worrying, because they don’t want to see us get hurt. Maybe it’s via nagging, because they want to make sure everything goes well for us. Maybe it’s via their fixation with work, because doing well at work means financial security, which means the family is well cared for.

Clearly, whether your parents love you or not is not contingent upon whether they fulfill your ideal. The ideal is just some image we painted up in our minds. Achieving it doesn’t mean anything, to be honest.

Chances are, what you’re seeking with your ideal (be it love from your parents, acceptance by your parents, self-validation, affirmation, etc) is already right there before you, before your very eyes. Don’t fixate yourself so much with your ideal that you miss the very thing you’re looking for – only to see it when it’s too late. The moment you release yourself of this ideal is when the healing between you and your parents begin.

Think about how you can be a better child to them

A lot of times we pinpoint faults in our parents, wondering why they can’t be smarter / richer / more open-minded / less stubborn / more positive / less naggy / quieter / more supportive / etc.

Instead of that, try a different tack – think about how you can be a better child to them.

So,  how can you be a better child to your parents?

Start by being sensitive to their needs. Speak to them in their language of love (see next point). Don’t make things difficult for them. Let them have their way if it’s not a life or death situation. Pre-empt things they need help in (usually technology-related stuff if your parents are not tech-savvy), as parents can be quite unwilling to ask for help unless they’re pushed to the wall. Visit them often (if you don’t live with your parents). Take them out for a meal – make it a weekly or biweekly occasion if possible. Give them a call just so they know you’re thinking of them right now.

In being a better child to them, note it’s not about molding yourself to become their ideal of what a son/daughter should be (assuming they have an ideal). You want to stay true to yourself and improve how you treat your parents in your own way.

Speak to them in their language of love

Mother and daughter having a picnic

Language of love refers to the way someone expresses love. Different people have different ways of expressing love – some via physical touch, via words, via actions, etc. In the book  5 Love Languages , Gary Chapman states the 5 key love languages people use are: (1) Words of affirmation (2) Quality time (spent together) (3) Receiving gifts (4) Acts of service (5) Physical touch.

Being brought up in a different generation, it’s not surprising to know our language of love is likely different from our parents’. For example, my parents express their love via acts of service. They like to do things for me. For me, I express love via giving words of affirmation. I also use other ways to express my love, but verbal communication is the primary method I use. (And hence why I’m always telling all of you how much I love you via the blog. :D )

This difference created a big rift between us at the beginning. I would try to communicate with them, but get nothing in return. In turn, they kept trying to do things like buy food for me and cook for me, but I would get frustrated with their obsession with food (some of which you may have read about in the fasting series ). It wasn’t until I recognized their underlying intentions that things changed.

What do you think represents love to your parents? Rather than “speak” to your parents in your language of love, speak to them in their language of love. This means if their language of love is quality time together, then spend more time with them. If their language of love is receiving gifts, then buy a small gift that means something to both of you. If their language of love is words of affirmation, give them a compliment and/or tell them I love you. They will be able to recognize your intentions more easily that way, and accept them more readily.

Do that every day, with every opportunity you have. Don’t stop doing that.

Don’t coerce them into accepting a language they cannot recognize. An example would be to insist on hugging them when they’re clearly uncomfortable with the idea. While you may have the best intentions, you are just imposing your beliefs onto them. Again, learn to “speak” to them in their language, not in your language. You’ll get much better and faster results this way.

Start from existing channels that are already open

If your relationship with your parents is very sour, start from the channels that are already open.

For example, what are the points of contact between you and your parents today? Monthly family dinners? Occasional email exchanges? Sporadic phone calls? Start from there. And work your way up.

My relationship with my parents went downhill during my preadolescent years. Countless arguments, doors slammed in faces mid-way during our verbal fights, shouting, yelling at each other, etc. Because of that, by the time I tried to improve the relationship (when I was 24 or so – 2-3 years ago), many doors between us had been shut close.

This was why when I tried to start our relationship on a fresh slate, I faced an immense amount of resistance. Whenever I tried to engage them in a conversation, I was “slapped” with a huge wave of negativity – particularly from my mom, who has a very “hard” personality. Conversation was clearly a “closed” channel due to nasty experiences we had in the past.

I figured that it was easier to start from existing channels. For example, occasionally my parents would ask me for help in reading their English mail ( which they can’t understand; they are Chinese educated ). In the past, I found it burdensome and would push their requests to later in the evening. But then I realized these requests probably meant a lot to my parents, so I became more helpful and patient whenever they sought my help.

Another example is when my parents ask me what I want to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner, as part of a daily routine. In the past, I would just say “Nothing” or “I’ve already eaten”, since I make my own meals (or eat out). After a while, I realized meal preparation is one of the few things my parents can do for me today, so I began to leave my daily meals in their hands. They readily soaked in these opportunities too, which they saw as a way of being a part in my life.

As for my parents’ general lack of desire to communicate verbally, I decided that if we can’t speak much, then at least I can spend more time with them. So during the evenings, I would join my dad to watch TV. I don’t watch TV myself and I don’t care a lot about the TV shows, but to me these 30-45 minutes spent with my dad (and sometimes my mom joins in as well) is well worth the investment of time.

With these existing channels established, it became easier for us to add new layers to our relationship. For example, after they became involved in preparing my daily meals, it created the platform for us to talk, since we had to discuss what I wanted to eat. From there, it provided the opening for us to talk about other things.

I also took the step further by buying cakes for my mom and dad during Mother’s Day and Father’s Day this year, something that’s not a practice in my family as my parents are strongly against such expenditures (they see them as a waste of money). While they didn’t overtly say anything (my dad did say thanks, and even took a picture of the cake with his phone), I know they’re touched by the gesture.

And when I left for Europe this year (2011), I allowed my dad to send me off at the airport. Normally I would reject his request (or anyone’s for that matter) to send me off, because I see it as unnecessary and a total waste of the person’s time. Plus I like to be alone when I’m at the airport – I enjoy the quiet time by myself before I depart for another destination. But I realized it’s his way of showing his love for me (see point above on “Language of Love”), so I accepted his offer.

At the moment (Jul 23, 2011) I’m in Germany, Cologne, and I stay in touch with my parents via Skype calls (a huge step forward for us considering we could never hold a conversation longer than 20 seconds in the past). Our relationship has progressed to where it is today via building up from pieces left between us, after many years of verbal fighting. (Update Feb 2012: I’ve since returned back home to Singapore after a seven-month travel!)

Likewise, no matter how dire your relationship is with your parents today, there are openings you can start off with. If there aren’t (i.e. your connection with your parent(s) has been severed), try the last mode of communication – where you guys left off. Then work from there.

In Conclusion

This has been a long series and I hope you have found it helpful in working on your relationship with your parents.

No matter how the state of your relationship with your parents is today, trust that it can become better – if you want to make it better.

For a long while, I had totally given up hope on my relationship with my parents. I thought it was irreparable, and whatever was done could never be reversed.

But as you’ve clearly seen, this isn’t true. Through a change in thinking and conscious effort, our relationship has improved quite dramatically in the past couple of years. And words can’t express how happy I am about that.

Thank you for all your wonderful comments, support, and open sharing on the first 3 parts. If you found the series helpful in any way, please share it on Facebook and Twitter (via the share buttons below). The more people who get to access this resource, the more lives we get to change around the world. Let’s work together to make the world a more beautiful place. :)

(Images: Family running , Family on field , Father & child , Picnic )

Hi, I’m Celes. Thanks for reading. Personal Excellence is where I write about how to live our best life as we tackle life’s challenges.  About Me »

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relationship to my parents essay

My Parents: Paragraph on Parents | 100 to 500 + Words | Their Responsibilities, Parents Health Insurance & Influence

Paragraph on Parents

This page provides examples of the ‘ paragraph on parents ‘, including both short and long compositions.  My Parents stand as the cornerstone of my life. Their responsibilities range from ensuring our well-being through parents health insurance to molding our character and values. 

Table of Contents

Paragraph on parents- 100 words “my parents: the foundation of my life”.

My Parents are like guiding stars, of my life. They provide guidance, love, and support while also setting boundaries. Parents play an important role in their children’s social, academic, and emotional development.  They teach their children what it means to be a good citizen and how to treat others. Parents also play an important role in their child’s education.

They can help choose the right school for their child and can encourage the child to learn. Parents can also help their children make good choices when it comes to spending their money. We should understand that parents have a lot of responsibilities and obligations.  One of the most important roles is they keep their children safe. For this they take a lot of measures like teach children them about safe driving habits, setting good examples for them, and monitoring their food habits etc.

Parents face many challenges in bringing up their children. Parenting requires a lot of time, effort, and patience. So we should be very much thankful to our parents.

Paragraph on Parents- 150 Words – Parents Responsibility: More Than Just Care and Affection

Parents Essay edumantra.net

My Parents are more than just a wonderful gift in my life. Life without parents cannot be imagined. They are always very loving and caring. My father is Mr. Raj Singhania and my mother is Ms. Savitri Singhania. My father is a businessman and a great designer. He is a very kind and hardworking person. He loves me dearly and takes care of all my needs. Sometimes he brings beautiful gifts for me, he takes me out, and fills my life with happiness and joy, he even helps me with my homework.

My mother stays at home, she’s very caring too-taking care of the house, cooking tasty food for all of us, taking me to school in the morning, taking me to the park in the evening telling me interesting stories at bedtime and helping with my homework as well. I am very dear to my parents and love them dearly as well both by respecting them a lot too-I don’t know what I would do without them when I grow up-I will take care of them also.

My Parents” Paragraph on Parents- 200 Words

Parents are an a wonderful gift given to us by God . Parents provide us mental and emotional support as well as they guide us to reach our full potential. In addition, parents play a very important role in helping children learn how to behave and how to socialize. Parents also help children develop skills such as problem solving, social discipline , and self-discipline.

Parents provide children with a good environment. This enables the children to develop their skills and talents. Parents are crucial in raising children. They provide them with the love and support they need to grow into strong individuals. Parents also teach their children about morals, values, and discipline. They set an example for their children and help them learn how to be responsible for themselves.  Parents do everything they can to help their children reach their goals and live a fulfilling life.

Though the task of parenting is hard to balance like work, family, and other responsibilities, but it is worth it in the end. Parents are responsible for raising their children and giving them the best possible upbringing. So the children must understand the sacrifices of their parents and must take a great care of their parents.  

Parents Essay: The Foundation of Our Lives

Introduction

Parents responsibility goes beyond giving birth; they play a great role in shaping our life. They are responsible for their well-being, happiness and education. It is not easy to be a parent, but it is an important job. Parents should do everything they can to help their children grow up to be successful adults.

When raising children, parents remain patient and consistent. They also provide guidance and support when it is needed. They are also aware of their child’s feelings and reactions, and do what they can to encourage healthy relationships. A good relationship between a parent and child helps the child develop empathy and communication skills.

Parents sometimes have fun with their children too. There are many things that parents do together that will make the relationship stronger. One way to have fun with your child is to take them on outings or enjoy activities that they enjoy. Parents should also make time for themselves so that they can recharge and spend more time with their children in the future.

Parents Responsibility in Nurturing the Next Generation

The parents responsibility in a child’s life is paramount, guiding them through every stage. The parents provide the foundation for their child’s early development, and the child in turn benefits from this strong foundation. Parents set an example for their children and help to shape their character. They play a large role in their children’s lives by providing guidance and support throughout the years.

A child needs love and nurturing from both parents, but it is especially important that the father plays an active role in his child’s life. Studies have shown that a father’s involvement in his child’s life has a positive effect on the child’s development. Fathers offer encouragement and support, help to teach values, and provide models of how to be responsible adults.

Fathers are also often better equipped to provide guidance in areas such as academics and athletics. Fathers can provide critical feedback on their children’s school work, which can help them develop skills needed for success in life. Fathers also have an important role in helping their children develop healthy habits such as eating right and getting exercise.

Tips for communicating with your parents

Tips for communicating with your parents are explained here- Some things to keep in mind when speaking with your parents are as follows:

  • Listen carefully. Make sure you give your parents the opportunity to explain what they are saying before you respond.
  • Be willing to compromise. It is important that you and your parents can work together to come up with a solution that works for both of you.
  • Be respectful. Do not argue with your parents or push them around. Show them respect by listening and trying to understand their point of view.

How to make your parents feel comfortable when they’re around you?

When parents are around their children, it is important for them to feel comfortable. This can be a difficult task for some parents, but there are ways to make them feel more at ease. One way to do this is to show them that you care about them and want to have a good relationship with them.

Additionally, make sure that you are honest with them and let them know what you expect from the relationship. Finally, be respectful of their time and do not monopolize their attention.

Parents Responsibility Reflected in Diverse Parenting Styles

Every parent, in their unique style, showcases their parents responsibility and beliefs in nurturing their child. There are four main parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.

Authoritative parenting is when a parent takes charge and gives clear instructions to their child. This type of parenting is most common in traditional families with a father as the head of the household. Authoritative parents set boundaries and expect their children to obey them. They also often have high expectations for their children and expect them to be successful in life. Authoritative parents are usually strict with their children and may be demanding.

Authoritarian parenting is when a parent doesn’t take charge but instead gives their child lots of rules to follow. This type of parenting is often found in single-parent households or households with an absent father. Authoritarian parents give their children little choice in what they do and how they do it. They also frequently discipline their children using physical punishment or verbal abuse. Authoritarian parents are often neglectful of their children and don’t provide them with adequate resources or emotional support.

Permissive parenting is when a parent allows their child to do whatever he or she wants without any constraints. This type of parenting is found more

Parents Health Insurance: Safeguarding Children’s Development

Parents are the pillars of a child’s life. They shape their growth and future. Just as one carefully designs a parent’s room, the influence and guidance of parents are meticulously crafted for the well-being of their children. They are the first educators of their children and guide them in the formation of their personalities and character.

Parents must be patient, consistent, and loving while raising their children. Proper parenting is essential to ensure that children grow into successful adults.

Here are a few ways parents influence their children’s development:

-Parenting styles can vary greatly, but there are some common principles that all parents should follow to provide a healthy home environment for their children. These principles include setting clear expectations, providing structure and discipline, and modeling good behavior.

Children learn best when they feel safe and secure. When parents are able to establish trust with their children, they can open up communication channels that help them understand the world around them. This type of relationship is important for developing positive self-esteem and self-confidence.

Providing opportunities for exploration is another important way that parents can help their children develop intellectually. Children need to try new things in order to learn about the world around them. This can be done by exposing them to different cultures, arts and crafts, and other activities.

Parents Essay: The Significance of a Strong Bond with Children

Parenting, like parents’ medical insurance, offers protection and guidance to a child, and it is important for parents to have a good relationship with their children. A good relationship between parents and children allows for a child to develop emotionally and mentally, as well as learn how to behave appropriately.

A good relationship between parents and children can be achieved through communication, which involves sharing feelings and thoughts with one another. It is also important for parents to spend time with their children, providing them with positive reinforcement and modeling appropriate behavior. When parents model appropriate behavior for their children, they are teaching them how to behave in society.

There are many benefits that result from a good relationship between parents and children. One of the most significant benefits is that a good relationship between parents and children provides children with emotional security. When a child feels secure in his or her relationships, he or she is less likely to experience anxiety or stress.

Additionally, a good relationship between parents and children helps children develop self-esteem. When children feel confident about themselves, they are more likely to succeed in life. Furthermore, a good relationship between parents and children helps create close bonds between the family members. When families are strong, they are better

Parents Responsibility and Vision: Defining Your Parenting Style

The role of parents, much like the blueprint in parents room design, shapes and defines a child’s life. It can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. There are many different types of parents, and each has their own strengths and weaknesses. Some parents are very strict while others are more lenient. Some are very hands-on while others let their children lead more independent lives. The key is to find the parenting style that works best for you and your child.

There is no single right way to parent, and the best way to find out what works for you is to experiment. If you find that you are struggling with a certain parenting style, try to change it gradually over time. Don’t try to force things in the opposite direction; that will only create chaos and conflict. Just take small steps in the new direction, and eventually you will find yourself on the right track.

Above all else, remember that parenting is a partnership between you and your child. You should always put your child’s best interests first, and try to be as understanding as possible when they make mistakes or need help behaving correctly. Above all else, be patient and consistent with your parenting techniques, and your child will eventually

How to Raise a Good Child

Raising a good child is not as easy as it seems. There are plenty of ways to go wrong, and even more ways to go right. To help parents out, here are five tips for raising children that come from experience and observation:

1. Set high standards for your child. It’s important to have expectations for your children, and make sure they understand why these standards are important. This will help them be motivated to meet them. 2. Teach your child how to manage their emotions. it’s important that they know how to control their anger, frustration, and sadness. This will help them develop good problem-solving skills, and stay calm in difficult situations. 3. Encourage your child’s creativity and imagination. These can be powerful tools, so let your kids use them! Play with them and allow them to explore different ideas. 4. Help your child develop a healthy relationship with food. Make sure they eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and avoid junk food and sweets completely. This will help them maintain a healthy weight throughout their lives. 5. Teach your child about respect for others. This is one of the most important lessons a child can

As a parent, it is your duty to provide the best possible environment for your children. You are their first teacher and role model, and it is your responsibility to set an example for them. It is also up to you to make sure that they have all the resources they need in order to succeed both in school and in life.

This essay will outline some of the ways that you can help ensure that your children receive the support they need from you. Thank you for reading!

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  • Essay on My Parents: 100, 200, 300, 400, 500 Words

In This Blog We Will Discuss

Short Essay on My Parents for Class 1, 2, 3 (100 Words)

 We have come to this world because of our parents, they gave us birth. They are the most important and close people for us in this world. Both father and mother have lots of sacrifices and hard work behind this position. I will tell you about my parents here. My parents are really nice people.

They love me a lot. My mother name is Sunita Mehta and she is forty years old. She is a well-educated woman and working as a professor at the nearest college. She used to be busy with her work. My father is a businessman. Both of them love to spend their time with me after work. I love them a lot.

Essay on My Parents for Class 4, 5 (200 Words)

Essay on My Parents in 200 Words

Introduction: Parents are the most important person for us in this world. We need to respect and love our parents. We have none except them. They love us a lot. Most of the time they don’t express their love directly for the kids, but we can realize that easily. Especially fathers are like hard and never express love openly. But we have to realize that they love us a lot. We need to love and respect them too. Today I am going to share about my parents.  

My Parents: My father name is Sunil Sharma and he is forty-five years old. He is working as an engineer for the local government. He is pretty successful in his career. I wish to be an engineer like him, that’s my aim in life. My father is an ideal person. I follow his lifestyle and want to be like him.

He loves me a lot and loves to spend time with me. When he gets the free time he spends this time with the family. My mother name is Sneha Sharma, she is forty years old and she is a housewife. My mother is a hardworking woman and she is really polite and well behaved.  

Conclusion: They love me a lot and I love them too. They are the most important part of my life. I can’t think even a single day without them.

Essay on My Parents for Class 6, 7 (300 Words)

Essay on My Parents in 300 Words

Introduction : My parents are my world. Everyone has parents and they should respect and love their parents. Today I will share something about my parents. They are really special to me. They mean a lot to my life. I can’t deny their contribution whatever they have done for me and my life.  

My Father: My father name is Arun Roy and he is a teacher in a local high school. He is forty-five years old. In this age, he is really strong and healthy. The most important thing behind this good health is a regular workout. He goes to the gym and does a proper workout.

Most of the time he wakes me up early in the morning and takes me to a morning walk. I really enjoy this. I wish to become like my father. He is an ideal person and everyone loves him. He is very helpful and because of this nature people come and ask for different types of help. He never refuses anyone.  

My Mother : My mother name is Susmita Roy; she is forty years old housewife. I think my mom is the most important member of our family. We couldn’t even think a day without her. She wakes up early in the morning and starts working in the kitchen. She washes clothes, cleans the whole home, cooks food for us.

She is like a superwoman. I can’t even imagine doing so many works like her. She is really impressive. After doing so many works, she never complains. She is always happy. Especially when she finds me happy, she is the happiest.  

Conclusion: Both of my father and mother are really important to me. I can’t even think a day except them. I wish them to live longer.

Essay on My Parents for Class 8 (400 Words)

Essay on My Parents in 400 Words

Introduction: Parents are the most important part of our life. We can’t imagine anyone else is too much rather than our parents. They are the closest human for us. They sacrifice so many things to make us happy. They don’t enjoy their life too much. They always focus on how kids become happy and do everything for this. We should love our parents and respect them because it’s really important to love them.  

My Parents: My father name is Aditya Roy, and he is forty-five years old. But my father looks so much younger. He is very aware of his health. The goes to the gym regularly. I am also learning so much health things from him. He is a businessman and spends most of his time in his office, but after all, he loves to spend time with me and my mother. My mother name is Koli Roy, she is forty years old.

My mom is a housewife. She does lots of family works. She was working for a school as an assistant teacher. But she left the job to maintain the family better. That’s mean she sacrifice her career because of the family. She is the most interesting and beautiful woman I have ever seen.  

Their Hobbies: As like others my parents also have some unique hobbies, my hobby is always reading books and playing video games. My father’s biggest hobby is bodybuilding. Except for doing this, he loves reading books. In this leisure time, he starts reading books. We have got a small family library. I am also a book lover. And that’s why he buys books every month. My father leads me to become a book lover.

He always inspired me to read more and more. My mother has something different interest, it’s gardening. As a result, we have got a garden in front of our home. It looks really beautiful. I love working in the garden. When my mom works there, I help her a lot. I love the flowers and she is seeding some vegetables too.  

Conclusion: Both parents are really helpful and nice people. They behave with each other really well. I have never seen them quarrelling. Even they help the other peoples too. They have got a really good relationship with neighbours and our relatives too.    

My Parents Essay for Class 9, 10 (500 Words)

Essay on My Parents in 500 Words

Introduction: We have come to this world, because of our parents. We need to be pleased with the entire life, because of this reason. Mother has tolerated so much pain to give us birth. Today I am going to share everything about my father and mother. They are a really awesome and amazing person. I can’t think of my life without them. They have brought light into my life. They are like a guide who is guiding me into the light.  

My Mother : My mother name is Rokeya Begum. She is a housewife. My mother is an educated woman. She was working as a primary school teacher. But she left the job for taking care of us. This is a very big sacrifice for the family. She is forty years old, but she looks much younger. My mother is aware of her health, he wakes up early in the morning and goes for a little walk. And then she starts working.

I have seen that she works almost all the time in a day. We all have rest, but she doesn’t. Sometimes my sister helps her in the kitchen, but she does the main works. She is a very kind and loving woman. She loves poor people and helps them a lot. She is very good with the neighbours. She was keeping a great relationship with our relative.  

My Father: My father name is Jahid Ahmed. He is a businessman. We have two shops in the main market. He used to spend his time there. My father is always busy. But after all of his work when he gets time, we love to spend that time with us. Most of the time he takes us to a small picnic. I love the family picnic a lot. I really enjoy these.

My father is a friend to me. His behaviour is really good. Not only me, but he also behaves well with everyone. He is very popular in the society because of his helping mentality. Lots of people ask for help and he never refuses anyone. That’s why everyone loves him.  

Why My Mother is the Best Mother? Yeah, I consider my mother as the best mother in the world. She is the best. There are so many reasons behind that. First of all, I think she has sacrificed her happiness because of us. She works a whole like a robot, but she never complains. We always try our best to help her.

My father wanted to keep a maid, but my mother is not agreeing to waste money. She is my teacher and guide. When I face any problem she helps me and solves the problem. She is a really highly educated woman. She understands the value of education, and that’s why she is trying her best to make us educated.  

Conclusion: I love my parents very much. They are the best parents ever. I want my parents to live a long whole life. They also love me a lot.

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Yes, Your Parents Affect Your Future Relationships—Here's How

A psychologist breaks down the four ways in which your mother and father have an impact on your love life.

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Very few people (regardless of which generation they belong to) would say that dating is an easy feat. However, dating in the digital age feels especially challenging:  Dating apps  make it that much harder to hold anyone's attention (because everyone's talking to a slew of other romantic interests) and that much easier to ghost someone. That said, once we find our match , we'll happily agree that the time and effort was well worth it.

How you give and receive love is greatly influenced and shaped by one or two critical people in your life: your parents. In fact, Rebecca Bergen, Ph.D., told us that our first experience with this emotion is with our parents, and those early years set the bar for how we see, give, and receive love and what we want out of relationships later in our lives.

Meet the Expert

Rebecca Bergen, Ph.D. , is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-owner of Bergen Counseling Center in Chicago.

"I do believe that how emotionally available our parents were influenced the type of attachment we formed with them," she explains. "Attachment theory suggests that we create an internal working model of our parents that we later internalize as our own sense of self. This attachment style also affects how we experience ourselves, and, in turn, how we are in relationships."

Ahead, Bergen explains how our childhood experiences with our parents provide a model for our adult relationships, what we can do to break a negative cycle, and how we can raise the next generation.

They Teach You How to Show Affection

"I am going to focus on how our romantic  relationships  are influenced by our childhood experiences," says Bergen. "Our parents' relationship is our first and most influential example of how to interact and communicate in a romantic relationship. How love was shown between parents is influential on the child." That makes sense because, when you think about it, your parents are your only example of pretty much everything. When you're really young, you probably just accept the way that they do things to be right—even if it's not.

For instance, if your parents were not very affectionate and hardly ever hugged or kissed you, you may have an aversion to affection as an adult. "Children will model and emulate the ways their parents show love to one another. Plus, how love was expressed to the child is also significant," says Bergen.

On a slightly different note, Bergen suggests that the ways in which anger and conflict were managed in your family of origin also play a large factor in how we communicate with adult romantic partners. "Whether or not a person tends to express their emotions more openly or tends to skew toward  passive aggression , frequently parallels how their parents communicated with each other and with the child," she adds.

You Model Your Behavior Off Theirs

"Same-sex parents serve as models for our behavior, and opposite-sex parents are projected into potential partners. This also works in reverse, in the sense that we may search for the opposite of a father who was stoic and uninvolved," Bergen notes.

There is no difference in this dynamic between same-sex couples or cross-sex couples, emphasizing that it's more tied to whichever parent the individual identifies with most rather than their sexual orientation. A female could be more influenced by her father's behavior and mirror his actions in her own relationship instead of her mother's if she identified more with her father, regardless of her own sexual orientation.

Another example is a person may be hypervigilant to criticism and frequently argue with partners because their same-sex parent had difficulty advocating for themselves and became a "doormat" in the relationship. We tend to want to emulate our parent's relationship when it is perceived as healthy and positive.

Their Words Become the Voice in Your Head

Most psychologists would agree that any personal change starts with self-awareness. Bergen advises, "Start to identify where patterns of communication , thoughts, and feelings originate. Reflect on your childhood and try to remember the patterns you had in interacting with your parents."

Questions she suggests asking yourself include: Whose voice is that? Your adult voice of what you think and believe, or does it come from somewhere or someone else? "If your parents are still living, you can also start to notice how you interact with your parents now, and then see how those patterns may be playing out in your romantic relationships," she notes.

They Influence Your Attachment Style

"Groundbreaking research during the 1960s and 1970s by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth assisted in our understanding of attachment theory," says Bergen. "Since their work, many psychological researchers have examined the different ways secure, and various forms of insecure attachments with our parents affect our attachment styles as adults." For instance, if parents showed love, responded to our needs, and validated our feelings, we were more likely to develop a secure attachment style. We then seek out and desire that same attachment style as an adult.

On the flip side, if we had an insecure attachment develop with our parents, we may have a fragmented sense of self. This may lead to low self-esteem, anxiety in relationships, doubt that we can trust others, and sometimes being more apt to seek out relationships that mimic this same attachment—not because it feels good but because it is familiar to us.

How to Break the Cycle

To create new patterns as an adult, Bergen offers four pieces of advice: reading, journaling, looking at your current relationship from a different perspective, and giving therapy a try. "Read books by psychological researcher and clinician John Gottman to learn about the different patterns that lead to  positive relationship  outcomes and those that lead to negative relationship outcomes." One key thing to remember is to learn about healthy ways to manage conflict and better ways to connect with your partner emotionally. No one likes fighting, but you may dread it less if you can argue more constructively.

Regarding journaling, Bergen advises, "Journal and increase your self-awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in your relationship. Compare what you are noticing with the ways your parents interacted with you and interacted with each other." If you notice that something was missing in your relationship with your parents, reflect on whether or not you are seeking to find it in your current relationship.

Third, "Work on trying out new ways of being in your current relationship. Gottman outlines specific behaviors you can work on in your relationships, such as asking more in-depth questions, turning toward your partner when they make attempts to connect with you, and expressing yourself assertively when you feel hurt," Bergen says. After all, trying new things is never a bad idea—especially if you've been together for a while.

Last but not least, "If you continue to find it difficult to break these patterns, therapy may be necessary," she adds. A trained therapist can help you identify these patterns and explore the roadblocks to implementing new, positive ones.

Keizer R, Helmerhorst KOW, van Rijn-van Gelderen L. Perceived Quality of the Mother-Adolescent and Father-Adolescent Attachment Relationship and Adolescents' Self-Esteem .  J Youth Adolesc . 2019;48(6):1203-1217. doi:10.1007/s10964-019-01007-0

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Science Leadership Academy @ Center City

Advanced Essay #1- Relationship with parents

Spending time with my family was always most important. Especially having my father by my side, but that would be like  a dream. Sometimes relationships can grow distant between a child and a parent. Particularly if the child and mother or father are miles apart. It’s hard  being really close with someone then suddenly drifting apart. I’ll always love my dad but I know my relationship with him won’t be the same. Family matters so much to me and having my dad and mom together was awesome.

One of my favorite memories of my dad was on my sweet 16. I walked into flashing lights. It was the most amazing night ever. Everyone smiling and cheering as I entered the room. I had been waiting for this night for many months. It was finally here and I couldn’t be happier. My father stands by my side. I  was full of joy and happiness. All of my friends and family gathered to celebrate the night.

Most importantly my father there with me. The birthday girl was dressed in a purple and gold dress. I was smiling at every moment for every picture.  My cousin sung happy birthday to me while I silently cry. My tears were happy tears, tears of joy. Everything was perfect until the end of the party. I enjoyed everything and let loose for one whole night. Then I realized it was time to go back to reality.

The night was ending and it was time for him to go. My father had to leave to catch his flight in the morning. Goodbye was always bittersweet with him. I knew he had to go but why now? Knowing I wouldn’t see him for a long time brought me to tears. It was hard to have him here with me one moment, then gone the next. This type of pain is understandable for anyone whose separated from a parent, family member, etc.

It’s always difficult when a child and a parent are separated. When my dad left, I was disappointed and hurt. I knew our relationship would never be the same. However, seeing him in person always makes me happy. The first time I saw him after he moved away was when I was 10. It was a while before I ever saw my dad again.

In the month of June I was going to see my dad for the first time since he left my sweet 16. I had a mixture of emotions. Some of those emotions were nervous, happy, upset, and anxious. Part of me was happy to see him. Another part kept wondering, ¨Why did he leave me?”  That question played repeatedly in my head.

Everyone was anxious and nervous to board the plane. I was excited to see my dad and scared to ride an airplane. We admired the view above the clouds. The plane took off “Whoosh,” I said while gripping the handle seats. I held onto those seats for dear life. We were all so eager to our dad .

Lots of cars honking as they jump out the car. They run up to him with their arms wide open open wide. “ Dad! “ they screamed with excitement. He was smiling from ear to ear. It was the happiest day ever. We were seeing our dad after such a long time. He lives in San Antonio and we were finally visiting.

My stepmom waited for us at the airport. When we saw her she says, “Hey,” while smiling very hard. I gasped when I saw her stomach. I leaned over to my dad and asked, “Is that baby weight?“ He burst out laughing saying, “No, she’s pregnant again.” In that moment I was shocked. I told her, “Congratulations,” and she said, “Thank you.” On the other hand, I was upset because my dad didn’t tell me himself, especially after the many conversations we had and he never said anything.

My relationship with my dad changed the moment he left. Nowadays, I barely hear from him. There are moments I wish things could go back to the way they were. My number one guy left. I started to notice my dad becoming a different person. People change and sometimes it can be good or bad.  

Relationships between anyone can always change. What’s important is if that relationship can be put back together. It is never easy to drift away from someone you love. There is a constant pain that comes and goes in the relationship. Sometimes it’s easy to repair a relationship. Other times it may not be worth it to fix.

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Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

Essays About Relationships: Strengthening communication in relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Essays About Relationships: Dealing with challenging work relationships

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

relationship to my parents essay

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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6 Phrases Adult Children Want To Hear From Their Parents

Senior Reporter, HuffPost Life

As we mature, the relationship we have with our parents is bound to change — sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Fostering a healthy dynamic in this new phase of life does take some work. Clear communication, respect and empathy from all parties is essential.

Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab , author of “Set Boundaries, Find Peace,” shared a post titled “Things Adult Children Want To Hear” on her Instagram earlier this year that listed a number of simple but powerful phrases parents could say to their grown kids.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Nedra Glover Tawwab, Therapist (@nedratawwab)

We asked Glover Tawwab and other therapists to talk about the statements they believe adult children would most like to hear from their parents and explain why these words can mean so much.

“Adult children often yearn for validating phrases from their parents, such as acknowledging past pain or expressing understanding,” Lara Morales Daitter , an associate marriage and family therapist at The Connective in Northern California, told HuffPost. “These affirmations can hold significant healing power, especially when parents may have been preoccupied with their own challenges, leading to unmet emotional needs in childhood.”

Below are six powerful things parents can say to their adult children that would improve their relationship.

1. ‘I’m sorry.’

These two words are what many adult children want to hear more than anything else, therapist and author Jor-El Caraballo told HuffPost.

“As Gen Xers and millennials and some Gen Z as well start to reflect more on their upbringings, they’ve started to fully recognize how their parents’ choices impacted them,” said Caraballo, co-founder of the mental health and wellness practice Viva.

“In some cases, those choices posed some challenges to their mental health. Being able to be validated, and apologized to, by their parents would be a huge win for adult children who are seeking to break some negative family cycles and move forward in their lives with better mental health.”

Receiving a heartfelt apology from your parent can be validating and healing.

Arielle Dualan , another associate marriage and family therapist at The Connective, underscored the importance of parents apologizing to their adult children for pain they may have caused, even if it was unintended.

“Most adult children understand their parents aren’t perfect and have the best intentions when it comes to parenting,” she said. “Some parents struggle with acknowledging unintentional or intentional hurt they may have inflicted on their adult children at any stage of their life.”

Adding a “How can we work through this?” to the apology can make it even more impactful.

“Taking ownership not only creates space for emotional repair and connection, it also models humility and relational healing for the adult child, which can transcend into other relationships in their life,” Dualan said.

Caraballo pointed out that parents from certain cultures may have a harder time apologizing to their kids — communities of color, in particular, he noted.

“As a therapist, I work with a lot of Black clients specifically, and oftentimes when they express a concern about how they were raised, parents can become defensive or obstinate,” he said. “This can be for a lot of reasons, of course, some of them personal and others cultural. There can be a lot of pressure to ‘save face.’ I think it’s incredibly healing for Black families to try and normalize parents apologizing to their children when appropriate. It’s certainly not the norm, but hopefully it becomes more common in time.”

Dualan, who specializes in working with the adult children of immigrant parents, said she’s noticed her clients’ families struggle in this area. The parents may have been raised in an environment where they needed to focus on fundamental needs, like safety, while their kids may have grown up with those needs met, allowing them to focus on prioritizing things like emotional connection, she explained.

“For my clients and myself, it might mean having to shift our expectations that our parents may not be the ones to initiate emotional connection,” Dualan said. “And there is grief in never knowing that type of relationship with their parents. But we as adult children can certainly try our best on our end to create the relationship we’ve always wanted with our parents as well.”

2. ‘I was in survival mode.’

While this statement is not an excuse for poor parenting or bad behavior, it does recognize that while the parent was trying to manage everything, they did, in fact, drop the ball, Glover Tawwab said.

“As a young adult, especially one without children, it can be very hard to think of your reality of childhood outside of you being the child,” she said, “versus as this adult who had a job, who had to come home and cook, who still had to have friendships, who had to do all of these things while parenting you.”

Talking about everything they had going on at that time can provide some useful context and understanding.

“If I had more support, if I had more resources, if I had more finances, if I wasn’t going through a divorce, if I wasn’t struggling with X, Y and Z — like really recognizing those things and being able to speak to them can be very healing for the adult child relationship,” Glover Tawwab said.

Los Angeles marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan echoed a similar point: Our parents were likely doing the best they could with the tools they had available at that time. They may not have had the keen awareness of their emotions or the communication skills we expect of parents today.

“Having tough conversations with your parents and having them acknowledge your experience as a child can be healing in repairing the relationship between adult child and parent,” Aramyan said.

3. ‘I’m really proud of you.’

"Hearing ‘I’m proud of what you’ve done and who you are’ can be a beacon of light," said therapist Jor-El Caraballo.

No matter their age, kids want to know their parents are proud of the person they’ve become and what they’ve accomplished.

“A lot of aging parents brought up their children to ‘be better’ and strive for more than [the parent] had available to them,” Caraballo said.

“This has propelled many of us with some confidence and anxiety about how well we’re doing. Hearing ‘I’m proud of what you’ve done and who you are’ can be a beacon of light for aging millennials who doubt their achievements and position in life.”

4. ‘Your life path is different than mine, but I support you.’

Some parents may push their grown kids to follow a similar trajectory because they believe it to be the “right” way. Perhaps it feels more familiar, conventional or stable to them. However, there are many paths that can be gratifying, even if they’re quite different than the one your parents chose. Hearing them say they respect and support your decision to live life on your own terms is powerful.

“This affirming statement recognizes the individuality of the adult child’s journey and affirms their autonomy in making life choices,“ said Morales Daitter. “It conveys parental acceptance and validation, fostering a sense of empowerment and emotional well-being.”

5. ‘Do you want advice, or would you prefer for me to listen?’

When a grown child is facing a challenge, sometimes they need to find their own way through it without being rescued by a parent.

“Adult parents have to remember that I, too, have bumped my head. I, too, have made bad decisions,” Glover Tawwab said. “And I am only speaking from a place of wisdom and knowledge after trying some of these things that my kids are talking about.”

The transition from parenting a child to parenting an adult can be a difficult one.

Asking directly whether you’re looking for guidance or just a listening ear removes any guesswork from the equation and shows they believe you’re capable of handling it.

When parenting an adult, “the job is not always to protect, as it might have been when you were younger,” Glover Tawwab added. “It is now to listen and observe and ask you if you want some feedback. But hopping in and saying, ‘Oh, I have the perfect answer for you, and you need to do this’ sometimes is not welcome.”

Though it’s natural for parents to want to shield their kids from making the same mistakes, it “doesn’t give space for the adult child to assert themselves as their own person,” Dualan said, “nor does it allow the parent to learn who their adult child has become.”

6. ‘I’m still here for you.’

There’s something beautiful and comforting knowing that, even in adulthood, your parent can be a soft place for you to land.

“The job of parenting isn’t over when children reach adulthood. The relationship just changes,” Caraballo said.

“While aging parents should adjust their focus from spending the bulk of their time tending to their children to other personal pursuits, it doesn’t mean they can’t still be involved and respectful allies in their children’s lives. Figuring out the right boundaries while still maintaining an active presence and care is a delicate but important dance,” he added.

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relationship to my parents essay

I Hate my Parents

This essay about the complex feelings of dislike or hatred toward family explores various reasons why these negative emotions might develop. It discusses how abuse, neglect, dysfunctional dynamics, conflicting values, and generational trauma can contribute to resentment and estrangement within family relationships. The essay emphasizes that such feelings are valid and require understanding and careful handling, suggesting therapy and open communication as potential ways to address and resolve these issues. It also acknowledges that in some cases, setting boundaries or reducing contact may be necessary for personal well-being. Overall, the essay highlights the importance of compassion and professional help in navigating the challenging emotions associated with family conflicts.

How it works

Family relationships are foundational to human development and societal structures, yet they can also be sources of profound distress and conflict. While the idea of family often conjures up thoughts of love and support, not everyone’s family life fits this positive narrative. The sentiment of disliking, or even hating, one’s family can stem from a variety of complex, interrelated factors. This essay explores some of the common reasons why individuals might develop negative feelings towards their family members.

Firstly, **abuse and neglect** are potent catalysts for negative emotions towards family.

Abuse, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, can leave deep emotional scars, affecting an individual’s ability to foster trust and affection towards those who have harmed them. Neglect, on the other hand, can engender feelings of abandonment and unworthiness, making it difficult for individuals to feel positively towards their family. Such environments can foster resentment and detachment, rather than the typical bonds of familial love.

**Dysfunctional dynamics** also play a crucial role. Families that exhibit toxic behaviors such as manipulation, constant criticism, jealousy, or inappropriate boundaries can lead to feelings of suffocation and frustration. Members in such families may struggle with feelings of being undervalued or dismissed, which can escalate to resentment. Moreover, when family members are pitted against one another in competitions for approval or love, it can lead to long-term animosity and conflict.

**Varying value systems** can create rifts within families too. As individuals grow and develop their own set of values, which might be influenced by external experiences or inner growth, these may starkly contrast with those of their family. When these differences in core beliefs and values are not respected or accepted within the family, it can lead to significant emotional discord. For example, differences in political beliefs, religion, or lifestyle choices can be particularly divisive, especially if family members have rigid or intolerant viewpoints.

**Generational trauma** is another subtle yet profound cause of familial strife. Patterns of behavior and emotional responses can be passed down through generations, often unconsciously. Members may find themselves trapped in cycles of behavior that have their roots in past familial experiences or traumas. Recognizing and breaking these patterns can be challenging, especially without understanding the underlying issues. Individuals who feel caught in these negative cycles may develop feelings of hatred as a defense mechanism against repeated trauma.

It’s important to acknowledge that the feelings of dislike or hatred towards family are valid emotions that deserve attention and understanding. Addressing these feelings often requires a multi-faceted approach, including personal reflection, professional therapy, and sometimes, setting boundaries with family members. Therapy can be particularly beneficial in unpacking these complex emotions and experiences, providing a space to understand and heal from past harms.

Moreover, communication plays a pivotal role. Open, honest discussions about one’s feelings and experiences can sometimes help in resolving underlying issues. However, in some situations, minimizing contact or creating emotional distance might be necessary for individual well-being.

In conclusion, the reasons behind negative feelings towards one’s family can be varied and complex. They stem from a mix of personal experiences, family dynamics, and broader societal influences. Understanding these reasons is crucial in addressing the emotional distress they cause and paving the way for healing and reconciliation, or for some, finding peace in distance. Each journey is personal and requires compassion, both for oneself and for the family members involved, even in the midst of conflict.

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Sophia Bush Says Romance With Girlfriend Ashlyn Harris Feels 'Fated': All About Their Sweet Relationship

The One Tree Hill star and former USWNT player bonded over their respective divorces.

preview for Sophia Bush's Natural Beauty Tips

On April 27, the couple made their red carpet debut at the 2024 White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, D.C. They both wore Harbison outfits: Sophia donned a strapless black dress with gold details, while Ashlyn sported a sparkly black suit with gold buttons.

2024 white house correspondents' dinner

Just two days earlier, the One Tree Hill star came out as queer in a Glamour personal essay, encouraging others to "do the brave thing." And, along the way, she opened up about her relationship with the former USWNT player.

The longtime pals ended up getting closer last year as both were going through divorce, Sophia wrote. Their friendship blossomed into something more, with Sophia writing that their first date felt like "a sparkly moment [that] maybe the universe had been conspiring for me."

"I am absolutely in awe of her relentless integrity," Sophia wrote of Ashlyn . "Seeing Ashlyn choose to not simply survive, but thrive, for her babies has been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed a friend do. And now I get to love her. How lucky am I?"

On April 26, Ashlyn shared the piece to her IG Stories, writing, "Proud of you babe." The soccer star added crying and melting emojis to her caption, per People .

Here's everything you need to know about Sophia and Ashlyn's relationship.

They bonded over their respective divorces.

In the essay, Sophia explained while she was separating from her former husband in the summer of 2023, she relied on the support of the women in her life, including Ashlyn. The pair met at a Cannes conference in 2019, Sophia shared, and quickly became part of the same friend group, who were all navigating divorce. (Ashlyn filed for divorce from ex Ali Krieger in 2023.)

"I didn’t expect to find love in this support system," she said. "I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me."

Sophia asked Ashlyn out to dinner.

Sophia said it only became clear to her that she and Ashlyn could become romantic when their other friends began pointing it out. "It really took other people in our safe support bubble pointing out to me how we’d finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things," she said. "When you’re so in the trenches of hardship—plus you have the added weight of having to go through it on a public stage—it can be hard to see anything but what’s right in front of you."

After "countless sessions of therapy" and "some prodding from loved ones," Sophia took a leap of faith and asked Ashlyn out to dinner.

“That meal was four and a half hours long and truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far. In hindsight, maybe it all had to happen slowly and then suddenly all at once,” Sophia wrote. “Maybe it was all fated. Maybe it really is a version of invisible string theory. I don’t really know. But I do know that for a sparkly moment, I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me. And that feeling that I have in my bones is one I’ll hold on to no matter where things go from here.”

Since their first date, the two have been spotted out on numerous occasions, including a Mariah Carey concert in November, Art Basel in December, and Elton John's Oscars party in March.

Sophia admires Ashlyn’s parenting.

Ashlyn shares two children her ex-wife, a daughter named Sloane and a son named Ocean. And the way Ashlyn dotes on her babies has made Sophia fall in love with her even more.

The relationship has even brought Sophia closer to her own mother, she wrote.

"The way she prioritizes and centers her kids, not only in her life but in the core of her being, is breathtaking to behold," she said. "Falling in love with her has sutured some of my own childhood wounds, and made me so much closer to my own mother."

Sophia has defended the relationship from online haters.

In the essay, Sophia directly calls out fans who have accused her of leaving her marriage because of "some hysterical rendezvous," rather than "having taken over a year to do the most soul-crushing work of my life."

She also defended the relationship from "blatant lies" and "accusations of being a homewrecker." (Shortly after Ashlyn and Ali's divorce went public in September 2023, it was reported that Sophia and Ashlyn were dating.)

"People looking in from the outside weren’t privy to just how much time it took, how many painful conversations were had," she wrote. "A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways."

“It’s painful to be doing deep work and have it picked apart by clueless strangers," she continued. "Everyone that matters to me knows what’s true and what isn’t. But even still, there’s a part of me that’s a ferocious defender who wants to correct the record piece by piece. But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What’s the f*cking point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you. I’ll spend my precious time doing things I love instead."

They made their red carpet debut at the 2024 White House Correspondents' Dinner.

After the two attended the WHCD, the couple headed to an afterparty hosted by Amazon MGM Studios, which was held at the home of Swiss Ambassador Jacques Pitteloud. While posing for photos, Ashlyn appeared to whisper something into Sophia's ear that made her laugh.

time and amazon mgm studios host late night soiree at the swiss ambassador's residence following white house correspondents dinner

Sophia's parents are big fans of Ashlyn.

Ashlyn and Sophia now stronger than ever, with Sophia writing that it took her "41 years" to experience this kind of "real joy."

Sophia’s parents love the pairing, too. “I really love who I am, at this age and in this moment," she said. "I’m so lucky that my parents, having spent time with Ash over the holidays, said, ‘Well, this finally looks right.’”

So happy for these two!

Jacqueline Tempera is an award-winning writer and reporter living in New Jersey with her many pets. She is a business owner and a double Scorpio who loves all things astrology and reality television. She is passionate about body diversity and representation, mental health, and the fight to end sexual assault and harassment. To learn more about Jackie, follow her on Instagram @jacktemp or visit her website at jackietempera.com . 

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Instead of a traditional bouquet, this bride carried her dog down the aisle

In recent years, proud dog owners have incorporated their precious pooches into their weddings as special guests , flower dogs, and even ring bearers .

For her own nuptials, bride Joelle Yuvienco came up with a new role for her beloved Pomeranian pup Sago: the wedding bouquet.

Instead of the traditional flower arrangement, Yuvienco carried Sago, dressed in a festive bumblebee costume, down the aisle during her April wedding.

The furry wedding attendant was a complete surprise to everyone — including the groom.

Videos and photos of Sago's special moment in the spotlight quickly gained traction, with one video garnering over 1 million views on TikTok.

Amid the influx of attention, Yuvienco, a content creator and voice actor, wants to address a common concern once and for all.

“To be clear, no, we did not have a bouquet toss,” Yuvienco says.

Sago poses with the newlyweds in a custom bumblebee costume.

There's a reason Sago sports a bumblebee costume in the video. Yuvienco and her husband Lenard Santos met through Bumble — not once, but twice.

The couple matched in 2019, but didn't end up pursuing a relationship at the time.

“He still says I ghosted him,” Yuvienco says.

They matched yet again on Bumble in 2021 during the pandemic, and this time, the couple couldn't stop chatting.

Yuvienco and Santos both live in Quezon City in the Philippines.

Now, Santos is officially a “step-pawrent” to Sago.

Sago, whose name means “boba” in Tagalog, has been Yuvienco's loyal companion for almost ten years.

“Everyone who’s met me knows Sago,” Yuvienco says. “She’s been with me through all kinds of ups and downs.”

Yuvienco and Sago pose for a bridal portrait.

Like many of their friends, the couple decided to host two weddings in order to blend their unique tastes with tradition.

Their first wedding was a traditional church ceremony in December 2023, followed by a more modern, garden-themed celebration in Tagaytay the following April.

“The wedding industry is very over the top here,” Yuvienco explains. “We really wanted to build something that felt most ‘us.’”

Yuvienco also collaborated with Bumble on some of her wedding details, including themed drinks and a photobooth, as a tribute to the couple's meet-cute.

Ahead of the couple's April wedding, their wedding designer presented them with a special gift: a drawing of Sago in a bumblebee costume.

After seeing how cute Sago looked in the drawing, Yuvienco ordered a custom bumblebee costume for her pup to wear on the big day.

Minutes before she headed down the aisle, Yuvienco realized that she hadn't ordered a flower bouquet for the second ceremony. Instead, she scooped up Sago and made her way to the altar.

Santos had anticipated that Sago would take part in the wedding, but was surprised — and delighted — to see Yuvienco walking down the aisle with Sago in her arms.

Guests were also shocked to see that the bouquet was furry rather than floral.

“They were in awe and and also laughing because it's so cute, but also funny at the same time,” Santos says.

Sago dressed the part for the couple's garden-themed ceremony.

The couple hadn't intended to make Sago part of their reception, but their guests couldn't get enough of the costumed canine. Ultimately, Sago stuck around throughout the party.

“She's in all of the photos,” Yuvienco laughs.

Though Yuvienco is frequently in the spotlight herself as a radio and podcast host, she was happy to let Sago shine on her special day.

Sago looks on as the newlyweds share a sweet treat.

“I’ve gone on news outlets to talk about all different things in my life, but I’m most proud to talk about Sago,” she says.

relationship to my parents essay

Associate Lifestyle Reporter

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Sophia Bush comes out as queer, confirms relationship with Ashlyn Harris

Sophia Bush

Actor Sophia Bush came out as queer in an emotional essay in Glamour and confirmed she’s in a relationship with retired U.S. Women’s National Team soccer player Ashlyn Harris. 

“I sort of hate the notion of having to come out in 2024,” Bush wrote in a cover story for the fashion magazine published Thursday. “But I’m deeply aware that we are having this conversation in a year when we’re seeing the most aggressive attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community in modern history.” 

Bush noted that there were more than 500 anti-LGBTQ bills proposed in state legislatures last year and said this motivated her to “give the act of coming out the respect and honor it deserves.” 

“I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home,” she wrote. “I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer . I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

The “One Tree Hill” star filed for divorce from entrepreneur Grant Hughes in August. People magazine first reported in October that Bush and Harris were dating, but neither confirmed nor commented on the report. The pair later attended an Oscar’s viewing party together in March . 

In the essay, Bush addressed online rumors that her relationship with Harris began before Harris had officially divorced from fellow soccer star Ali Krieger, in September. 

“Everyone that matters to me knows what’s true and what isn’t,” Bush wrote. “But even still there’s a part of me that’s a ferocious defender, who wants to correct the record piece by piece. But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What’s the f------- point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you. I’ll spend my precious time doing things I love instead.”

Bush said that after news about her and Harris became public, her mom told her that a friend called and said, “Well, this can’t be true. I mean, your daughter isn’t gay .” 

“My mom felt that it was obvious, from the way her friend emphasized the word, that she meant it judgmentally,” Bush wrote. “And you know what my mom said? ‘Oh honey, I think she’s pretty gay. And she’s happy .’”

Bush wrote that she felt like she was wearing a weighted vest that she could finally put down. 

“I finally feel like I can breathe,” Bush wrote. “I turned 41 last summer, amid all of this, and I heard the words I was saying to my best friend as they came out of my mouth. ‘I feel like this is my first birthday,’ I told her. This year was my very first birthday.”

For more from NBC Out, sign up for our weekly newsletter.

relationship to my parents essay

Jo Yurcaba is a reporter for NBC Out.

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relationship to my parents essay

What It Means To Be Asian in America

The lived experiences and perspectives of asian americans in their own words.

Asians are the fastest growing racial and ethnic group in the United States. More than 24 million Americans in the U.S. trace their roots to more than 20 countries in East and Southeast Asia and the Indian subcontinent.

The majority of Asian Americans are immigrants, coming to understand what they left behind and building their lives in the United States. At the same time, there is a fast growing, U.S.-born generation of Asian Americans who are navigating their own connections to familial heritage and their own experiences growing up in the U.S.

In a new Pew Research Center analysis based on dozens of focus groups, Asian American participants described the challenges of navigating their own identity in a nation where the label “Asian” brings expectations about their origins, behavior and physical self. Read on to see, in their own words, what it means to be Asian in America.

  • Introduction

Table of Contents

This is how i view my identity, this is how others see and treat me, this is what it means to be home in america, about this project, methodological note, acknowledgments.

No single experience defines what it means to be Asian in the United States today. Instead, Asian Americans’ lived experiences are in part shaped by where they were born, how connected they are to their family’s ethnic origins, and how others – both Asians and non-Asians – see and engage with them in their daily lives. Yet despite diverse experiences, backgrounds and origins, shared experiences and common themes emerged when we asked: “What does it mean to be Asian in America?”

In the fall of 2021, Pew Research Center undertook the largest focus group study it had ever conducted – 66 focus groups with 264 total participants – to hear Asian Americans talk about their lived experiences in America. The focus groups were organized into 18 distinct Asian ethnic origin groups, fielded in 18 languages and moderated by members of their own ethnic groups. Because of the pandemic, the focus groups were conducted virtually, allowing us to recruit participants from all parts of the United States. This approach allowed us to hear a diverse set of voices – especially from less populous Asian ethnic groups whose views, attitudes and opinions are seldom presented in traditional polling. The approach also allowed us to explore the reasons behind people’s opinions and choices about what it means to belong in America, beyond the preset response options of a traditional survey.

The terms “Asian,” “Asians living in the United States” and “Asian American” are used interchangeably throughout this essay to refer to U.S. adults who self-identify as Asian, either alone or in combination with other races or Hispanic identity.

“The United States” and “the U.S.” are used interchangeably with “America” for variations in the writing.

Multiracial participants are those who indicate they are of two or more racial backgrounds (one of which is Asian). Multiethnic participants are those who indicate they are of two or more ethnicities, including those identified as Asian with Hispanic background.

U.S. born refers to people born in the 50 U.S. states or the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, or other U.S. territories.

Immigrant refers to people who were not U.S. citizens at birth – in other words, those born outside the U.S., Puerto Rico or other U.S. territories to parents who were not U.S. citizens. The terms “immigrant,” “first generation” and “foreign born” are used interchangeably in this report.  

Second generation refers to people born in the 50 states or the District of Columbia with at least one first-generation, or immigrant, parent.

The pan-ethnic term “Asian American” describes the population of about 22 million people living in the United States who trace their roots to more than 20 countries in East and Southeast Asia and the Indian subcontinent. The term was popularized by U.S. student activists in the 1960s and was eventually adopted by the U.S. Census Bureau. However, the “Asian” label masks the diverse demographics and wide economic disparities across the largest national origin groups (such as Chinese, Indian, Filipino) and the less populous ones (such as Bhutanese, Hmong and Nepalese) living in America. It also hides the varied circumstances of groups immigrated to the U.S. and how they started their lives there. The population’s diversity often presents challenges . Conventional survey methods typically reflect the voices of larger groups without fully capturing the broad range of views, attitudes, life starting points and perspectives experienced by Asian Americans. They can also limit understanding of the shared experiences across this diverse population.

A chart listing the 18 ethnic origins included in Pew Research Center's 66 focus groups, and the composition of the focus groups by income and birth place.

Across all focus groups, some common findings emerged. Participants highlighted how the pan-ethnic “Asian” label used in the U.S. represented only one part of how they think of themselves. For example, recently arrived Asian immigrant participants told us they are drawn more to their ethnic identity than to the more general, U.S.-created pan-ethnic Asian American identity. Meanwhile, U.S.-born Asian participants shared how they identified, at times, as Asian but also, at other times, by their ethnic origin and as Americans.

Another common finding among focus group participants is the disconnect they noted between how they see themselves and how others view them. Sometimes this led to maltreatment of them or their families, especially at heightened moments in American history such as during Japanese incarceration during World War II, the aftermath of 9/11 and, more recently, the COVID-19 pandemic. Beyond these specific moments, many in the focus groups offered their own experiences that had revealed other people’s assumptions or misconceptions about their identity.

Another shared finding is the multiple ways in which participants take and express pride in their cultural and ethnic backgrounds while also feeling at home in America, celebrating and blending their unique cultural traditions and practices with those of other Americans.

This focus group project is part of a broader research agenda about Asians living in the United States. The findings presented here offer a small glimpse of what participants told us, in their own words, about how they identify themselves, how others see and treat them, and more generally, what it means to be Asian in America.

Illustrations by Jing Li

Publications from the Being Asian in America project

  • Read the data essay: What It Means to Be Asian in America
  • Watch the documentary: Being Asian in America
  • Explore the interactive: In Their Own Words: The Diverse Perspectives of Being Asian in America
  • View expanded interviews: Extended Interviews: Being Asian in America
  • About this research project: More on the Being Asian in America project
  • Q&A: Why and how Pew Research Center conducted 66 focus groups with Asian Americans

relationship to my parents essay

One of the topics covered in each focus group was how participants viewed their own racial or ethnic identity. Moderators asked them how they viewed themselves, and what experiences informed their views about their identity. These discussions not only highlighted differences in how participants thought about their own racial or ethnic background, but they also revealed how different settings can influence how they would choose to identify themselves. Across all focus groups, the general theme emerged that being Asian was only one part of how participants viewed themselves.

The pan-ethnic label ‘Asian’ is often used more in formal settings

relationship to my parents essay

“I think when I think of the Asian Americans, I think that we’re all unique and different. We come from different cultures and backgrounds. We come from unique stories, not just as a group, but just as individual humans.” Mali , documentary participant

Many participants described a complicated relationship with the pan-ethnic labels “Asian” or “Asian American.” For some, using the term was less of an active choice and more of an imposed one, with participants discussing the disconnect between how they would like to identify themselves and the available choices often found in formal settings. For example, an immigrant Pakistani woman remarked how she typically sees “Asian American” on forms, but not more specific options. Similarly, an immigrant Burmese woman described her experience of applying for jobs and having to identify as “Asian,” as opposed to identifying by her ethnic background, because no other options were available. These experiences highlight the challenges organizations like government agencies and employers have in developing surveys or forms that ask respondents about their identity. A common sentiment is one like this:

“I guess … I feel like I just kind of check off ‘Asian’ [for] an application or the test forms. That’s the only time I would identify as Asian. But Asian is too broad. Asia is a big continent. Yeah, I feel like it’s just too broad. To specify things, you’re Taiwanese American, that’s exactly where you came from.”

–U.S.-born woman of Taiwanese origin in early 20s

Smaller ethnic groups default to ‘Asian’ since their groups are less recognizable

Other participants shared how their experiences in explaining the geographic location and culture of their origin country led them to prefer “Asian” when talking about themselves with others. This theme was especially prominent among those belonging to smaller origin groups such as Bangladeshis and Bhutanese. A Lao participant remarked she would initially say “Asian American” because people might not be familiar with “Lao.”

“​​[When I fill out] forms, I select ‘Asian American,’ and that’s why I consider myself as an Asian American. [It is difficult to identify as] Nepali American [since] there are no such options in forms. That’s why, Asian American is fine to me.”

–Immigrant woman of Nepalese origin in late 20s

“Coming to a big country like [the United States], when people ask where we are from … there are some people who have no idea about Bhutan, so we end up introducing ourselves as being Asian.”

–Immigrant woman of Bhutanese origin in late 40s

But for many, ‘Asian’ as a label or identity just doesn’t fit

Many participants felt that neither “Asian” nor “Asian American” truly captures how they view themselves and their identity. They argue that these labels are too broad or too ambiguous, as there are so many different groups included within these labels. For example, a U.S.-born Pakistani man remarked on how “Asian” lumps many groups together – that the term is not limited to South Asian groups such as Indian and Pakistani, but also includes East Asian groups. Similarly, an immigrant Nepalese man described how “Asian” often means Chinese for many Americans. A Filipino woman summed it up this way:

“Now I consider myself to be both Filipino and Asian American, but growing up in [Southern California] … I didn’t start to identify as Asian American until college because in [the Los Angeles suburb where I lived], it’s a big mix of everything – Black, Latino, Pacific Islander and Asian … when I would go into spaces where there were a lot of other Asians, especially East Asians, I didn’t feel like I belonged. … In media, right, like people still associate Asian with being East Asian.”

–U.S.-born woman of Filipino origin in mid-20s

Participants also noted they have encountered confusion or the tendency for others to view Asian Americans as people from mostly East Asian countries, such as China, Japan and Korea. For some, this confusion even extends to interactions with other Asian American groups. A Pakistani man remarked on how he rarely finds Pakistani or Indian brands when he visits Asian stores. Instead, he recalled mostly finding Vietnamese, Korean and Chinese items.

Among participants of South Asian descent, some identified with the label “South Asian” more than just “Asian.” There were other nuances, too, when it comes to the labels people choose. Some Indian participants, for example, said people sometimes group them with Native Americans who are also referred to as Indians in the United States. This Indian woman shared her experience at school:

“I love South Asian or ‘Desi’ only because up until recently … it’s fairly new to say South Asian. I’ve always said ‘Desi’ because growing up … I’ve had to say I’m the red dot Indian, not the feather Indian. So annoying, you know? … Always a distinction that I’ve had to make.”

–U.S.-born woman of Indian origin in late 20s

Participants with multiethnic or multiracial backgrounds described their own unique experiences with their identity. Rather than choosing one racial or ethnic group over the other, some participants described identifying with both groups, since this more accurately describes how they see themselves. In some cases, this choice reflected the history of the Asian diaspora. For example, an immigrant Cambodian man described being both Khmer/Cambodian and Chinese, since his grandparents came from China. Some other participants recalled going through an “identity crisis” as they navigated between multiple identities. As one woman explained:

“I would say I went through an identity crisis. … It’s because of being multicultural. … There’s also French in the mix within my family, too. Because I don’t identify, speak or understand the language, I really can’t connect to the French roots … I’m in between like Cambodian and Thai, and then Chinese and then French … I finally lumped it up. I’m just an Asian American and proud of all my roots.”

–U.S.-born woman of Cambodian origin in mid-30s

In other cases, the choice reflected U.S. patterns of intermarriage. Asian newlyweds have the highest intermarriage rate of any racial or ethnic group in the country. One Japanese-origin man with Hispanic roots noted:

“So I would like to see myself as a Hispanic Asian American. I want to say Hispanic first because I have more of my mom’s culture in me than my dad’s culture. In fact, I actually have more American culture than my dad’s culture for what I do normally. So I guess, Hispanic American Asian.”

–U.S.-born man of Hispanic and Japanese origin in early 40s

Other identities beyond race or ethnicity are also important

Focus group participants also talked about their identity beyond the racial or ethnic dimension. For example, one Chinese woman noted that the best term to describe her would be “immigrant.” Faith and religious ties were also important to some. One immigrant participant talked about his love of Pakistani values and how religion is intermingled into Pakistani culture. Another woman explained:

“[Japanese language and culture] are very important to me and ingrained in me because they were always part of my life, and I felt them when I was growing up. Even the word itadakimasu reflects Japanese culture or the tradition. Shinto religion is a part of the culture. They are part of my identity, and they are very important to me.”

–Immigrant woman of Japanese origin in mid-30s

For some, gender is another important aspect of identity. One Korean participant emphasized that being a woman is an important part of her identity. For others, sexual orientation is an essential part of their overall identity. One U.S.-born Filipino participant described herself as “queer Asian American.” Another participant put it this way:

“I belong to the [LGBTQ] community … before, what we only know is gay and lesbian. We don’t know about being queer, nonbinary. [Here], my horizon of knowing what genders and gender roles is also expanded … in the Philippines, if you’ll be with same sex, you’re considered gay or lesbian. But here … what’s happening is so broad, on how you identify yourself.”

–Immigrant woman of Filipino origin in early 20s

Immigrant identity is tied to their ethnic heritage

A chart showing how participants in the focus groups described the differences between race-centered and ethnicity-centered identities.

Participants born outside the United States tended to link their identity with their ethnic heritage. Some felt strongly connected with their ethnic ties due to their citizenship status. For others, the lack of permanent residency or citizenship meant they have stronger ties to their ethnicity and birthplace. And in some cases, participants said they held on to their ethnic identity even after they became U.S. citizens. One woman emphasized that she will always be Taiwanese because she was born there, despite now living in the U.S.

For other participants, family origin played a central role in their identity, regardless of their status in the U.S. According to some of them, this attitude was heavily influenced by their memories and experiences in early childhood when they were still living in their countries of origin. These influences are so profound that even after decades of living in the U.S., some still feel the strong connection to their ethnic roots. And those with U.S.-born children talked about sending their kids to special educational programs in the U.S. to learn about their ethnic heritage.

“Yes, as for me, I hold that I am Khmer because our nationality cannot be deleted, our identity is Khmer as I hold that I am Khmer … so I try, even [with] my children today, I try to learn Khmer through Zoom through the so-called Khmer Parent Association.”

–Immigrant man of Cambodian origin in late 50s

Navigating life in America is an adjustment

Many participants pointed to cultural differences they have noticed between their ethnic culture and U.S. culture. One of the most distinct differences is in food. For some participants, their strong attachment to the unique dishes of their families and their countries of origin helps them maintain strong ties to their ethnic identity. One Sri Lankan participant shared that her roots are still in Sri Lanka, since she still follows Sri Lankan traditions in the U.S. such as preparing kiribath (rice with coconut milk) and celebrating Ramadan.

For other participants, interactions in social settings with those outside their own ethnic group circles highlighted cultural differences. One Bangladeshi woman talked about how Bengalis share personal stories and challenges with each other, while others in the U.S. like to have “small talk” about TV series or clothes.

Many immigrants in the focus groups have found it is easier to socialize when they are around others belonging to their ethnicity. When interacting with others who don’t share the same ethnicity, participants noted they must be more self-aware about cultural differences to avoid making mistakes in social interactions. Here, participants described the importance of learning to “fit in,” to avoid feeling left out or excluded. One Korean woman said:

“Every time I go to a party, I feel unwelcome. … In Korea, when I invite guests to my house and one person sits without talking, I come over and talk and treat them as a host. But in the United States, I have to go and mingle. I hate mingling so much. I have to talk and keep going through unimportant stories. In Korea, I am assigned to a dinner or gathering. I have a party with a sense of security. In America, I have nowhere to sit, and I don’t know where to go and who to talk to.”

–Immigrant woman of Korean origin in mid-40s

And a Bhutanese immigrant explained:

“In my case, I am not an American. I consider myself a Bhutanese. … I am a Bhutanese because I do not know American culture to consider myself as an American. It is very difficult to understand the sense of humor in America. So, we are pure Bhutanese in America.”

–Immigrant man of Bhutanese origin in early 40s

Language was also a key aspect of identity for the participants. Many immigrants in the focus groups said they speak a language other than English at home and in their daily lives. One Vietnamese man considered himself Vietnamese since his Vietnamese is better than his English. Others emphasized their English skills. A Bangladeshi participant felt that she was more accepted in the workplace when she does more “American” things and speaks fluent English, rather than sharing things from Bangladeshi culture. She felt that others in her workplace correlate her English fluency with her ability to do her job. For others born in the U.S., the language they speak at home influences their connection to their ethnic roots.

“Now if I go to my work and do show my Bengali culture and Asian culture, they are not going to take anything out of it. So, basically, I have to show something that they are interested in. I have to show that I am American, [that] I can speak English fluently. I can do whatever you give me as a responsibility. So, in those cases I can’t show anything about my culture.”

–Immigrant woman of Bangladeshi origin in late 20s

“Being bi-ethnic and tri-cultural creates so many unique dynamics, and … one of the dynamics has to do with … what it is to be Americanized. … One of the things that played a role into how I associate the identity is language. Now, my father never spoke Spanish to me … because he wanted me to develop a fluency in English, because for him, he struggled with English. What happened was three out of the four people that raised me were Khmer … they spoke to me in Khmer. We’d eat breakfast, lunch and dinner speaking Khmer. We’d go to the temple in Khmer with the language and we’d also watch videos and movies in Khmer. … Looking into why I strongly identify with the heritage, one of the reasons is [that] speaking that language connects to the home I used to have [as my families have passed away].”

–U.S.-born man of Cambodian origin in early 30s

Balancing between individualistic and collective thinking

For some immigrant participants, the main differences between themselves and others who are seen as “truly American” were less about cultural differences, or how people behave, and more about differences in “mindset,” or how people think . Those who identified strongly with their ethnicity discussed how their way of thinking is different from a “typical American.” To some, the “American mentality” is more individualistic, with less judgment on what one should do or how they should act . One immigrant Japanese man, for example, talked about how other Japanese-origin co-workers in the U.S. would work without taking breaks because it’s culturally inconsiderate to take a break while others continued working. However, he would speak up for himself and other workers when they are not taking any work breaks. He attributed this to his “American” way of thinking, which encourages people to stand up for themselves.

Some U.S.-born participants who grew up in an immigrant family described the cultural clashes that happened between themselves and their immigrant parents. Participants talked about how the second generation (children of immigrant parents) struggles to pursue their own dreams while still living up to the traditional expectations of their immigrant parents.

“I feel like one of the biggest things I’ve seen, just like [my] Asian American friends overall, is the kind of family-individualistic clash … like wanting to do your own thing is like, is kind of instilled in you as an American, like go and … follow your dream. But then you just grow up with such a sense of like also wanting to be there for your family and to live up to those expectations, and I feel like that’s something that’s very pronounced in Asian cultures.”

–U.S.-born man of Indian origin in mid-20s

Discussions also highlighted differences about gender roles between growing up in America compared with elsewhere.

“As a woman or being a girl, because of your gender, you have to keep your mouth shut [and] wait so that they call on you for you to speak up. … I do respect our elders and I do respect hearing their guidance but I also want them to learn to hear from the younger person … because we have things to share that they might not know and that [are] important … so I like to challenge gender roles or traditional roles because it is something that [because] I was born and raised here [in America], I learn that we all have the equal rights to be able to speak and share our thoughts and ideas.”

U.S. born have mixed ties to their family’s heritage

relationship to my parents essay

“I think being Hmong is somewhat of being free, but being free of others’ perceptions of you or of others’ attempts to assimilate you or attempts to put pressure on you. I feel like being Hmong is to resist, really.” Pa Houa , documentary participant

How U.S.-born participants identify themselves depends on their familiarity with their own heritage, whom they are talking with, where they are when asked about their identity and what the answer is used for. Some mentioned that they have stronger ethnic ties because they are very familiar with their family’s ethnic heritage. Others talked about how their eating habits and preferred dishes made them feel closer to their ethnic identity. For example, one Korean participant shared his journey of getting closer to his Korean heritage because of Korean food and customs. When some participants shared their reasons for feeling closer to their ethnic identity, they also expressed a strong sense of pride with their unique cultural and ethnic heritage.

“I definitely consider myself Japanese American. I mean I’m Japanese and American. Really, ever since I’ve grown up, I’ve really admired Japanese culture. I grew up watching a lot of anime and Japanese black and white films. Just learning about [it], I would hear about Japanese stuff from my grandparents … myself, and my family having blended Japanese culture and American culture together.”

–U.S.-born man of Japanese origin in late 20s

Meanwhile, participants who were not familiar with their family’s heritage showed less connection with their ethnic ties. One U.S.-born woman said she has a hard time calling herself Cambodian, as she is “not close to the Cambodian community.” Participants with stronger ethnic ties talked about relating to their specific ethnic group more than the broader Asian group. Another woman noted that being Vietnamese is “more specific and unique than just being Asian” and said that she didn’t feel she belonged with other Asians. Some participants also disliked being seen as or called “Asian,” in part because they want to distinguish themselves from other Asian groups. For example, one Taiwanese woman introduces herself as Taiwanese when she can, because she had frequently been seen as Chinese.

Some in the focus groups described how their views of their own identities shifted as they grew older. For example, some U.S.-born and immigrant participants who came to the U.S. at younger ages described how their experiences in high school and the need to “fit in” were important in shaping their own identities. A Chinese woman put it this way:

“So basically, all I know is that I was born in the United States. Again, when I came back, I didn’t feel any barrier with my other friends who are White or Black. … Then I got a little confused in high school when I had trouble self-identifying if I am Asian, Chinese American, like who am I. … Should I completely immerse myself in the American culture? Should I also keep my Chinese identity and stuff like that? So yeah, that was like the middle of that mist. Now, I’m pretty clear about myself. I think I am Chinese American, Asian American, whatever people want.”

–U.S.-born woman of Chinese origin in early 20s

Identity is influenced by birthplace

relationship to my parents essay

“I identified myself first and foremost as American. Even on the forms that you fill out that says, you know, ‘Asian’ or ‘Chinese’ or ‘other,’ I would check the ‘other’ box, and I would put ‘American Chinese’ instead of ‘Chinese American.’” Brent , documentary participant

When talking about what it means to be “American,” participants offered their own definitions. For some, “American” is associated with acquiring a distinct identity alongside their ethnic or racial backgrounds, rather than replacing them. One Indian participant put it this way:

“I would also say [that I am] Indian American just because I find myself always bouncing between the two … it’s not even like dual identity, it just is one whole identity for me, like there’s not this separation. … I’m doing [both] Indian things [and] American things. … They use that term like ABCD … ‘American Born Confused Desi’ … I don’t feel that way anymore, although there are those moments … but I would say [that I am] Indian American for sure.”

–U.S.-born woman of Indian origin in early 30s

Meanwhile, some U.S.-born participants view being American as central to their identity while also valuing the culture of their family’s heritage.

Many immigrant participants associated the term “American” with immigration status or citizenship. One Taiwanese woman said she can’t call herself American since she doesn’t have a U.S. passport. Notably, U.S. citizenship is an important milestone for many immigrant participants, giving them a stronger sense of belonging and ultimately calling themselves American. A Bangladeshi participant shared that she hasn’t received U.S. citizenship yet, and she would call herself American after she receives her U.S. passport.

Other participants gave an even narrower definition, saying only those born and raised in the United States are truly American. One Taiwanese woman mentioned that her son would be American since he was born, raised and educated in the U.S. She added that while she has U.S. citizenship, she didn’t consider herself American since she didn’t grow up in the U.S. This narrower definition has implications for belonging. Some immigrants in the groups said they could never become truly American since the way they express themselves is so different from those who were born and raised in the U.S. A Japanese woman pointed out that Japanese people “are still very intimidated by authorities,” while those born and raised in America give their opinions without hesitation.

“As soon as I arrived, I called myself a Burmese immigrant. I had a green card, but I still wasn’t an American citizen. … Now I have become a U.S. citizen, so now I am a Burmese American.”

–Immigrant man of Burmese origin in mid-30s

“Since I was born … and raised here, I kind of always view myself as American first who just happened to be Asian or Chinese. So I actually don’t like the term Chinese American or Asian American. I’m American Asian or American Chinese. I view myself as American first.”

–U.S.-born man of Chinese origin in early 60s

“[I used to think of myself as] Filipino, but recently I started saying ‘Filipino American’ because I got [U.S.] citizenship. And it just sounds weird to say Filipino American, but I’m trying to … I want to accept it. I feel like it’s now marry-able to my identity.”

–Immigrant woman of Filipino origin in early 30s

For others, American identity is about the process of ‘becoming’ culturally American

A Venn diagram showing how participants in the focus group study described their racial or ethnic identity overlaps with their American identity

Immigrant participants also emphasized how their experiences and time living in America inform their views of being an “American.” As a result, some started to see themselves as Americans after spending more than a decade in the U.S. One Taiwanese man considered himself an American since he knows more about the U.S. than Taiwan after living in the U.S. for over 52 years.

But for other immigrant participants, the process of “becoming” American is not about how long they have lived in the U.S., but rather how familiar they are with American culture and their ability to speak English with little to no accent. This is especially true for those whose first language is not English, as learning and speaking it without an accent can be a big challenge for some. One Bangladeshi participant shared that his pronunciation of “hot water” was very different from American English, resulting in confusions in communication. By contrast, those who were more confident in their English skills felt they can better understand American culture and values as a result, leading them to a stronger connection with an American identity.

“[My friends and family tease me for being Americanized when I go back to Japan.] I think I seem a little different to people who live in Japan. I don’t think they mean anything bad, and they [were] just joking, because I already know that I seem a little different to people who live in Japan.”

–Immigrant man of Japanese origin in mid-40s

“I value my Hmong culture, and language, and ethnicity, but I also do acknowledge, again, that I was born here in America and I’m grateful that I was born here, and I was given opportunities that my parents weren’t given opportunities for.”

–U.S.-born woman of Hmong origin in early 30s

relationship to my parents essay

During the focus group discussions about identity, a recurring theme emerged about the difference between how participants saw themselves and how others see them. When asked to elaborate on their experiences and their points of view, some participants shared experiences they had with people misidentifying their race or ethnicity. Others talked about their frustration with being labeled the “model minority.” In all these discussions, participants shed light on the negative impacts that mistaken assumptions and labels had on their lives.

All people see is ‘Asian’

For many, interactions with others (non-Asians and Asians alike) often required explaining their backgrounds, reacting to stereotypes, and for those from smaller origin groups in particular, correcting the misconception that being “Asian” means you come from one of the larger Asian ethnic groups. Several participants remarked that in their own experiences, when others think about Asians, they tend to think of someone who is Chinese. As one immigrant Filipino woman put it, “Interacting with [non-Asians in the U.S.], it’s hard. … Well, first, I look Spanish. I mean, I don’t look Asian, so would you guess – it’s like they have a vision of what an Asian [should] look like.” Similarly, an immigrant Indonesian man remarked how Americans tended to see Asians primarily through their physical features, which not all Asian groups share.

Several participants also described how the tendency to view Asians as a monolithic group can be even more common in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“The first [thing people think of me as] is just Chinese. ‘You guys are just Chinese.’ I’m not the only one who felt [this] after the COVID-19 outbreak. ‘Whether you’re Japanese, Korean, or Southeast Asian, you’re just Chinese [to Americans]. I should avoid you.’ I’ve felt this way before, but I think I’ve felt it a bit more after the COVID-19 outbreak.”

–Immigrant woman of Korean origin in early 30s

At the same time, other participants described their own experiences trying to convince others that they are Asian or Asian American. This was a common experience among Southeast Asian participants.

“I have to convince people I’m Asian, not Middle Eastern. … If you type in Asian or you say Asian, most people associate it with Chinese food, Japanese food, karate, and like all these things but then they don’t associate it with you.”

–U.S.-born man of Pakistani origin in early 30s

The model minority myth and its impact

relationship to my parents essay

“I’ve never really done the best academically, compared to all my other Asian peers too. I never really excelled. I wasn’t in honors. … Those stereotypes, I think really [have] taken a toll on my self-esteem.” Diane , documentary participant

Across focus groups, immigrant and U.S.-born participants described the challenges of the seemingly positive stereotypes of Asians as intelligent, gifted in technical roles and hardworking. Participants often referred to this as the “model minority myth.”

The label “model minority” was coined in the 1960s and has been used to characterize Asian Americans as financially and educationally successful and hardworking when compared with other groups. However, for many Asians living in the United States, these characterizations do not align with their lived experiences or reflect their socioeconomic backgrounds. Indeed, among Asian origin groups in the U.S., there are wide differences in economic and social experiences. 

Academic research on the model minority myth has pointed to its impact beyond Asian Americans and towards other racial and ethnic groups, especially Black Americans, in the U.S. Some argue that the model minority myth has been used to justify policies that overlook the historical circumstances and impacts of colonialism, slavery, discrimination and segregation on other non-White racial and ethnic groups.

Many participants noted ways in which the model minority myth has been harmful. For some, expectations based on the myth didn’t match their own experiences of coming from impoverished communities. Some also recalled experiences at school when they struggled to meet their teachers’ expectations in math and science.

“As an Asian person, I feel like there’s that stereotype that Asian students are high achievers academically. They’re good at math and science. … I was a pretty mediocre student, and math and science were actually my weakest subjects, so I feel like it’s either way you lose. Teachers expect you to fit a certain stereotype and if you’re not, then you’re a disappointment, but at the same time, even if you are good at math and science, that just means that you’re fitting a stereotype. It’s [actually] your own achievement, but your teachers might think, ‘Oh, it’s because they’re Asian,’ and that diminishes your achievement.”

–U.S.-born woman of Korean origin in late 20s

Some participants felt that even when being Asian worked in their favor in the job market, they encountered stereotypes that “Asians can do quality work with less compensation” or that “Asians would not complain about anything at work.”

“There is a joke from foreigners and even Asian Americans that says, ‘No matter what you do, Asians always do the best.’ You need to get A, not just B-plus. Otherwise, you’ll be a disgrace to the family. … Even Silicon Valley hires Asian because [an] Asian’s wage is cheaper but [they] can work better. When [work] visa overflow happens, they hire Asians like Chinese and Indian to work in IT fields because we are good at this and do not complain about anything.”

–Immigrant man of Thai origin in early 40s

Others expressed frustration that people were placing them in the model minority box. One Indian woman put it this way:

“Indian people and Asian people, like … our parents or grandparents are the ones who immigrated here … against all odds. … A lot of Indian and Asian people have succeeded and have done really well for themselves because they’ve worked themselves to the bone. So now the expectations [of] the newer generations who were born here are incredibly unrealistic and high. And you get that not only from your family and the Indian community, but you’re also getting it from all of the American people around you, expecting you to be … insanely good at math, play an instrument, you know how to do this, you know how to do that, but it’s not true. And it’s just living with those expectations, it’s difficult.”

–U.S.-born woman of Indian origin in early 20s

Whether U.S. born or immigrants, Asians are often seen by others as foreigners

relationship to my parents essay

“Being only not quite 10 years old, it was kind of exciting to ride on a bus to go someplace. But when we went to Pomona, the assembly center, we were stuck in one of the stalls they used for the animals.” Tokiko , documentary participant

Across all focus groups, participants highlighted a common question they are asked in America when meeting people for the first time: “Where are you really from?” For participants, this question implied that people think they are “foreigners,” even though they may be longtime residents or citizens of the United States or were born in the country. One man of Vietnamese origin shared his experience with strangers who assumed that he and his friends are North Korean. Perhaps even more hurtful, participants mentioned that this meant people had a preconceived notion of what an “American” is supposed to look like, sound like or act like. One Chinese woman said that White Americans treated people like herself as outsiders based on her skin color and appearance, even though she was raised in the U.S.

Many focus group participants also acknowledged the common stereotype of treating Asians as “forever foreigners.” Some immigrant participants said they felt exhausted from constantly being asked this question by people even when they speak perfect English with no accent. During the discussion, a Korean immigrant man recalled that someone had said to him, “You speak English well, but where are you from?” One Filipino participant shared her experience during the first six months in the U.S.:

“You know, I spoke English fine. But there were certain things that, you know, people constantly questioning you like, oh, where are you from? When did you come here? You know, just asking about your experience to the point where … you become fed up with it after a while.”

–Immigrant woman of Filipino origin in mid-30s

U.S.-born participants also talked about experiences when others asked where they are from. Many shared that they would not talk about their ethnic origin right away when answering such a question because it often led to misunderstandings and assumptions that they are immigrants.

“I always get that question of, you know, ‘Where are you from?’ and I’m like, ‘I’m from America.’ And then they’re like, ‘No. Where are you from-from ?’ and I’m like, ‘Yeah, my family is from Pakistan,’ so it’s like I always had like that dual identity even though it’s never attached to me because I am like, of Pakistani descent.”

–U.S.-born man of Pakistani origin in early 20s

One Korean woman born in the U.S. said that once people know she is Korean, they ask even more offensive questions such as “Are you from North or South Korea?” or “Do you still eat dogs?”

In a similar situation, this U.S.-born Indian woman shared her responses:

“I find that there’s a, ‘So but where are you from?’ Like even in professional settings when they feel comfortable enough to ask you. ‘So – so where are you from?’ ‘Oh, I was born in [names city], Colorado. Like at [the hospital], down the street.’ ‘No, but like where are you from?’ ‘My mother’s womb?’”

–U.S.-born woman of Indian origin in early 40s

Ignorance and misinformation about Asian identity can lead to contentious encounters

relationship to my parents essay

“I have dealt with kids who just gave up on their Sikh identity, cut their hair and groomed their beard and everything. They just wanted to fit in and not have to deal with it, especially [those] who are victim or bullied in any incident.” Surinder , documentary participant

In some cases, ignorance and misinformation about Asians in the U.S. lead to inappropriate comments or questions and uncomfortable or dangerous situations. Participants shared their frustration when others asked about their country of origin, and they then had to explain their identity or correct misunderstandings or stereotypes about their background. At other times, some participants faced ignorant comments about their ethnicity, which sometimes led to more contentious encounters. For example, some Indian or Pakistani participants talked about the attacks or verbal abuse they experienced from others blaming them for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Others discussed the racial slurs directed toward them since the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Some Japanese participants recalled their families losing everything and being incarcerated during World War II and the long-term effect it had on their lives.

“I think like right now with the coronavirus, I think we’re just Chinese, Chinese American, well, just Asian American or Asians in general, you’re just going through the same struggles right now. Like everyone is just blaming whoever looks Asian about the virus. You don’t feel safe.”

–U.S.-born man of Chinese origin in early 30s

“At the beginning of the pandemic, a friend and I went to celebrate her birthday at a club and like these guys just kept calling us COVID.”

–U.S.-born woman of Korean origin in early 20s

“There [were] a lot of instances after 9/11. One day, somebody put a poster about 9/11 [in front of] my business. He was wearing a gun. … On the poster, it was written ‘you Arabs, go back to your country.’ And then someone came inside. He pointed his gun at me and said ‘Go back to your country.’”

–Immigrant man of Pakistani origin in mid-60s

“[My parents went through the] internment camps during World War II. And my dad, he was in high school, so he was – they were building the camps and then he was put into the Santa Anita horse track place, the stables there. And then they were sent – all the Japanese Americans were sent to different camps, right, during World War II and – in California. Yeah, and they lost everything, yeah.”

–U.S.-born woman of Japanese origin in mid-60s

relationship to my parents essay

As focus group participants contemplated their identity during the discussions, many talked about their sense of belonging in America. Although some felt frustrated with people misunderstanding their ethnic heritage, they didn’t take a negative view of life in America. Instead, many participants – both immigrant and U.S. born – took pride in their unique cultural and ethnic backgrounds. In these discussions, people gave their own definitions of America as a place with a diverse set of cultures, with their ethnic heritage being a part of it.

Taking pride in their unique cultures

relationship to my parents essay

“Being a Pakistani American, I’m proud. … Because I work hard, and I make true my dreams from here.” Shahid , documentary participant

Despite the challenges of adapting to life in America for immigrant participants or of navigating their dual cultural identity for U.S.-born ones, focus group participants called America their home. And while participants talked about their identities in different ways – ethnic identity, racial (Asian) identity, and being American – they take pride in their unique cultures. Many also expressed a strong sense of responsibility to give back or support their community, sharing their cultural heritage with others on their own terms.

“Right now it has been a little difficult. I think it has been for all Asians because of the COVID issue … but I’m glad that we’re all here [in America]. I think we should be proud to be here. I’m glad that our families have traveled here, and we can help make life better for communities, our families and ourselves. I think that’s really a wonderful thing. We can be those role models for a lot of the future, the younger folks. I hope that something I did in the last years will have impacted either my family, friends or students that I taught in other community things that I’ve done. So you hope that it helps someplace along the line.”

“I am very proud of my culture. … There is not a single Bengali at my workplace, but people know the name of my country. Maybe many years [later] – educated people know all about the country. So, I don’t have to explain that there is a small country next to India and Nepal. It’s beyond saying. People after all know Bangladesh. And there are so many Bengali present here as well. So, I am very proud to be a Bangladeshi.”

Where home is

When asked about the definition of home, some immigrant participants said home is where their families are located. Immigrants in the focus groups came to the United States by various paths, whether through work opportunities, reuniting with family or seeking a safe haven as refugees. Along their journey, some received support from family members, their local community or other individuals, while others overcame challenges by themselves. Either way, they take pride in establishing their home in America and can feel hurt when someone tells them to “go back to your country.” In response, one Laotian woman in her mid-40s said, “This is my home. My country. Go away.”

“If you ask me personally, I view my home as my house … then I would say my house is with my family because wherever I go, I cannot marry if I do not have my family so that is how I would answer.”

–Immigrant man of Hmong origin in late 30s

“[If somebody yelled at me ‘go back to your country’] I’d feel angry because this is my country! I live here. America is my country. I grew up here and worked here … I’d say, ‘This is my country! You go back to your country! … I will not go anywhere. This is my home. I will live here.’ That’s what I’d say.”

–Immigrant woman of Laotian origin in early 50s

‘American’ means to blend their unique cultural and ethnic heritage with that in the U.S.

relationship to my parents essay

“I want to teach my children two traditions – one American and one Vietnamese – so they can compare and choose for themselves the best route in life.” Helen , documentary participant (translated from Vietnamese)

Both U.S.-born and immigrant participants in the focus groups shared their experiences of navigating a dual cultural environment between their ethnic heritage and American culture. A common thread that emerged was that being Asian in America is a process of blending two or more identities as one.

“Yeah, I want to say that’s how I feel – because like thinking about it, I would call my dad Lao but I would call myself Laotian American because I think I’m a little more integrated in the American society and I’ve also been a little more Americanized, compared to my dad. So that’s how I would see it.”

–U.S.-born man of Laotian origin in late 20s

“I mean, Bangladeshi Americans who are here, we are carrying Bangladeshi culture, religion, food. I am also trying to be Americanized like the Americans. Regarding language, eating habits.”

–Immigrant man of Bangladeshi origin in mid-50s

“Just like there is Chinese American, Mexican American, Japanese American, Italian American, so there is Indian American. I don’t want to give up Indianness. I am American by nationality, but I am Indian by birth. So whenever I talk, I try to show both the flags as well, both Indian and American flags. Just because you make new relatives but don’t forget the old relatives.”

–Immigrant man of Indian origin in late 40s

relationship to my parents essay

Pew Research Center designed these focus groups to better understand how members of an ethnically diverse Asian population think about their place in America and life here. By including participants of different languages, immigration or refugee experiences, educational backgrounds, and income levels, this focus group study aimed to capture in people’s own words what it means to be Asian in America. The discussions in these groups may or may not resonate with all Asians living in the United States. Browse excerpts from our focus groups with the interactive quote sorter below, view a video documentary focused on the topics discussed in the focus groups, or tell us your story of belonging in America via social media. The focus group project is part of a broader research project studying the diverse experiences of Asians living in the U.S.

Read sortable quotes from our focus groups

Browse excerpts in the interactive quote sorter from focus group participants in response to the question “What does it mean to be [Vietnamese, Thai, Sri Lankan, Hmong, etc.] like yourself in America?” This interactive allows you to sort quotes from focus group participants by ethnic origin, nativity (U.S. born or born in another country), gender and age.

Video documentary

Videos throughout the data essay illustrate what focus group participants discussed. Those recorded in these videos did not participate in the focus groups but were sampled to have similar demographic characteristics and thematically relevant stories.

Watch the full video documentary and watch additional shorter video clips related to the themes of this data essay.

Share the story of your family and your identity

Did the voices in this data essay resonate? Share your story of what it means to be Asian in America with @pewresearch. Tell us your story by using the hashtag #BeingAsianInAmerica and @pewidentity on Twitter, as well as #BeingAsianInAmerica and @pewresearch on Instagram.

This cross-ethnic, comparative qualitative research project explores the identity, economic mobility, representation, and experiences of immigration and discrimination among the Asian population in the United States. The analysis is based on 66 focus groups we conducted virtually in the fall of 2021 and included 264 participants from across the U.S. More information about the groups and analysis can be found in this appendix .

Pew Research Center is a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts, its primary funder. This data essay was funded by The Pew Charitable Trusts, with generous support from the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative DAF, an advised fund of the Silicon Valley Community Foundation; the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation; the Henry Luce Foundation; The Wallace H. Coulter Foundation; The Dirk and Charlene Kabcenell Foundation; The Long Family Foundation; Lu-Hebert Fund; Gee Family Foundation; Joseph Cotchett; the Julian Abdey and Sabrina Moyle Charitable Fund; and Nanci Nishimura.

The accompanying video clips and video documentary were made possible by The Pew Charitable Trusts, with generous support from The Sobrato Family Foundation and The Long Family Foundation.

We would also like to thank the Leaders Forum for its thought leadership and valuable assistance in helping make this study possible. This is a collaborative effort based on the input and analysis of a number of individuals and experts at Pew Research Center and outside experts.

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Drew Barrymore tells Kamala Harris that America needs a 'Momala,' draws mixed reactions

relationship to my parents essay

Drew Barrymo re's on-screen behavior during her daytime talk show typically has people talking, but her recent comments toward Vice President Kamala Harris are raising eyebrows, too.

During Monday's episode of "The Drew Barrymore Show," the vice president told the actress and TV host about the first time she met first gentleman Doug Emhoff's children, Cole Emhoff and Ella Emhoff .

"We kind of don't use the term 'step' because I just think, Iove Disney, but Disney kind of messed that up for a lot of us over the years, you know the evil stepparent?" Harris said, referring to "the evil stepmother" trope in Disney films. Harris said her children call her "Momala."

Meet Vice President Harris' family: from Doug Emhoff's kids to Phenomenal designer Meena Harris

Later in the conversation about co-parenting, Barrymore pivoted and said "that's a great segue to say that I keep thinking in my head that we all need a mom.

"I've been really thinking we really all need a tremendous hug in the world now, but in our country we need you to be 'Momala' of the country," Barrymore told Harris. She leaned into the vice president, grabbed her hands and delivered a short monologue before telling Harris "we need a great protector."

Drew Barrymore's 'Momala' comments yield mixed reactions

While the audience clapped during the moment, viewers had mixed reactions on social media.

"'Momala' is INSANE. Not it’s up to a black woman to rock us in her bosom and heal our wounds," one commenter added.

"Drew Barrymore really sat 2 inches away from VP Harris' face and asked her to mammy the nation. The look on Harris' face is the look of generational rage, but Kamala sat right there and lapped it up, like the agent of white supremacy she is," another person said.

"I'm gonna leave Drew Barrymore alone. That woman is a survivor. She's quirky, but she's a survivor. She's always been very cool to people. No hate for her at all," one commented said on X, in reference to her traumatic childhood.

"Drew Barrymore is the worst host of any show I've ever seen. She is an embarrassment," one user said on X.

"I usually advocate for Drew’s quirky brand-but this is too far," another user wrote , while another added, "We women are not just automatic maternal figures forever and always."

'Momala is my favorite,' Kamala Harris wrote in 2019 essay

Harris has opened up about being "Momala" before. In a Mother's Day 2019 Instagram post with Cole Emhoff and Ella Emhoff, Harris wrote that " of all the titles I've ever had, Momala is my favorite."

She also shares a close bond with their mother and the first gentleman's ex-wife, film producer Kerstin Emhoff. Harris wrote about their "modern family" and called Kerstin Emhoff "an incredible mother" in a 2019 Elle essay.

"Kerstin and I hit it off ourselves and are dear friends. She and I became a duo of cheerleaders in the bleachers at Ella’s swim meets and basketball games, often to Ella's embarrassment. We sometimes joke that our modern family is almost a little too functional," Harris wrote.

Barrymore has long been open about her traumatic youth as a childhood star.

She was born to actors Jaid and John Drew Barrymore in 1975. The Emmy-nominated actress became emancipated from her parents during her turbulent childhood which included  drug-fueled outings to nightclubs with mother Jaid , a compulsory stint in rehab at age 13 and  a pair of suicide attempts .

Contributing: Edward Segarra

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  13. My Parents: Paragraph on Parents

    Paragraph on Parents- 100 Words "My Parents: The Foundation of My Life" My Parents are like guiding stars, of my life. They provide guidance, love, and support while also setting boundaries. Parents play an important role in their children's social, academic, and emotional development.

  14. Creating a Healthy Relationship With Your Parents

    Take Responsibility. If you want to set mature boundaries in your adult relationship with your parents, then don't ask your parents to do things for you that you can do for yourself. They are more likely to treat you like an adult if you act like one. For example, you might feel tempted to call your mother to complain every time you have a ...

  15. My Relationship With Parents

    770 Words. 4 Pages. Open Document. My Relationship with My Parents As you grow up, the relationship between your mother and father can be very challenging especially when you go through different stages of life. Being only eighteen years old, I am sure that my relationship with my parents will grow stronger in the future.

  16. 30 Reflections From Healing a Broken Relationship With My Parents

    I pushed them away and shut them down with my responses. My parents usually only have a few main goals: share that they love me & that they care that I'm safe, healthy, and happy. But because of my filters, I couldn't hear the heartfelt meaning behind their words. When they don't feel heard, they repeat themselves.

  17. Parent Child Relationship Essay

    A parent-child relationship is unique in that it has many qualities that are present in no other type of interaction. At the same time, mistakes parents make can cause damage to their relationships and affect the development of the child. In this essay, we shall explore how to establish a healthy and mutually beneficial parent-child relationship.

  18. My Relationship With Parents

    Having such a big family is a blessing and I wouldn't change it for the world; however, being one of so many children does have a huge impact on your relationship with your parents. Each of us develops a unique relationship with each parent. It's cool because we each have a connection with them, but in a different way.

  19. Relationship With My Parents Essay

    Relationship With My Parents Essay. For my parent interview, I interviewed my mom. I asked questions regarding how her relationship with my father changed after having kids. They had their first child (my older sister) at a young age of 19 and 20. So with that being said, their relationship changed a lot.

  20. Essay on My Parents: 100, 200, 300, 400, 500 Words

    Essay on My Parents in 400 Words. Introduction: Parents are the most important part of our life. We can't imagine anyone else is too much rather than our parents. They are the closest human for us. They sacrifice so many things to make us happy. They don't enjoy their life too much.

  21. How Parents Affect Your Future Relationships

    Their Words Become the Voice in Your Head. Most psychologists would agree that any personal change starts with self-awareness. Bergen advises, "Start to identify where patterns of communication ...

  22. Advanced Essay #1- Relationship with parents

    Advanced Essay #1- Relationship with parents. My goals for this essay were simple. I wanted to express the importance of a relationship with anyone. Also how hard it is for that relationship to change. I am very proud of my essay. My memories connected well together. My bigger idea/ reflection is the best part. I love the way I ended the essay.

  23. Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

    Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection. 3. Why Adult Children Cut Ties with their Parents by Sharon Martin. "Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional.

  24. 6 Phrases Adult Children Want To Hear From Their Parents

    As we mature, the relationship we have with our parents is bound to change — sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Fostering a healthy dynamic in this new phase of life does take some work. Clear communication, respect and empathy from all parties is essential. We asked Glover Tawwab and ...

  25. I Hate My Parents

    Essay Example: Family relationships are foundational to human development and societal structures, yet they can also be sources of profound distress and conflict. While the idea of family often conjures up thoughts of love and support, not everyone's family life fits this positive narrative ... I Hate My Parents. (2024, Apr 29). Retrieved from ...

  26. Sophia Bush And Ashlyn Harris' Relationship: Dating Timeline

    Sophia Bush has found a new love in her old friend Ashlyn Harris. On April 25, the One Tree Hill star came out as queer in a Glamour personal essay, encouraging others to "do the brave thing." And ...

  27. Bride Carries Her Dog Down The Aisle Instead Of a Bouquet

    Parents; Food; Life; ... The couple matched in 2019, but didn't end up pursuing a relationship at the time. "He still says I ghosted him," Yuvienco says. ... Essay / Updated April 24 ...

  28. Sophia Bush comes out as queer, confirms relationship with Ashlyn Harris

    Actor Sophia Bush came out as queer in an emotional essay in Glamour and confirmed she's in a relationship with retired U.S. Women's National Team soccer player Ashlyn Harris.

  29. What It Means To Be Asian in America

    The terms "Asian," "Asians living in the United States" and "Asian American" are used interchangeably throughout this essay to refer to U.S. adults who self-identify as Asian, either alone or in combination with other races or Hispanic identity. "The United States" and "the U.S." are used interchangeably with "America" for variations in the writing.

  30. Drew Barrymore, Kamala Harris: Backlash grows over 'Momala' moment

    'Momala is my favorite,' Kamala Harris wrote in 2019 essay. Harris has opened up about being "Momala" before. In a Mother's Day 2019 Instagram post with Cole Emhoff and Ella Emhoff, Harris wrote ...