essay about being a mother

The Journey of Motherhood

No one can prepare you for the constantly shifting experience of motherhood..

Posted June 15, 2021 | Reviewed by Chloe Williams

When this post is published in early June, my oldest daughter will turn 25 years old – the age at which I married her father and bought my first home. This significant birthday for her encourages me to reflect on my own journey into motherhood and through two-and-a-half decades now.

When you first become a mother, if you are given the gift of motherhood to begin with, you aren’t prepared for the sheer volume of what you are supposed to know, and be able to adeptly deal with. Here is this tiny life in your hands. There is nothing she (or he) can do without your help. It is daunting.

No one warns you about the lack of sleep you will endure. My daughter got kicked out of a couple of home daycares because, not only would she not sleep at night, she wouldn’t nap during the day. As a working mother with a very demanding job, I learned quickly how to seem “on” even when all I wanted to do was take a nap myself.

When your child gets to toddlerhood, there is more to worry about. Now, she or he moves around on their own and can get out of your sight very quickly. My daughter became separated from me in the biggest public transportation area in our large city on an outing with other members of my family when she was only about 4 years old. No one could have prepared me for the sheer panic I experienced when she was nowhere to be found, and with buses and trains leaving the station from every angle. It was also during the holidays, and large volumes of people were moving in and out. The fear . The panic. The helplessness.

Toddlerhood is also the time your child needs more interaction – and mothers are more tired. Answering those “why?” questions and working hard not to just plop your child down in front of some “electronic babysitter” at this stage is really tough. Navigating restaurants and trips out of town and visits to houses where everything is breakable is exhausting.

So many memories. The first day she stepped onto the bus. The pride coupled with the sadness – the start of school and entering a new phase. When she started complaining about the bus ride, we learned quickly how to be an advocate for someone so small who couldn’t advocate for herself. She was right about her observations, but it took months and many phone calls to get someone to listen.

In junior high came the call from the school nurse, saying they think she has Lyme disease. I can’t forgive myself, because when she complained about how much her knee hurt on the nights she had dance, I told her to suck it up and dance through the pain, having no idea we would wind up in Children’s Hospital with the threat of her knee having to be replaced because the Lyme had done so much damage.

The hours and hours in middle school and high school sitting on the stairs outside of her room, listening to her cry her heart out because she was being bullied, or a friend betrayed her, or a boyfriend cheated on her. Listening while my own heart was being destroyed and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it but pray she would have the strength to get through it.

The concussions, the car that was totaled, the call from the hospital the night she was attacked and physically abused. The recurrence of Lyme and trying to find answers for how to get her some sort of relief.

The migration a mother is asked to take, and the on-the-job learning is something no one – not even another mother, or even your own mother – can prepare you for. It is a constantly shifting and changing journey where you have to pull on inner resources you had no idea you even possessed.

Then no one prepares you for the day the child leaves your home. All of the worry, the staying up late, the navigating phone calls from school, the planning of doctor’s appointments, the shopping for food she (or he) likes – all of a sudden it stops. It just stops. Now the emptiness sets in. Her room is silent. There is no crying but there is no laughing , there are none of the friends I have come to care about popping in and out, there is no checking in every day about what’s happening in her world. It’s the natural evolution and a well-raised child is ready to go on their own – but a mother’s heart hurts adjusting to the silence.

And throughout this entire journey, of course, there is joy. Her smile lit up my world when she was 2 years old and it still lights up my world today at 25. Talking to her, listening to her and learning about her is still a blessing 25 years later. Watching her grow and change and become a confident woman with an admirable reserve of strength and perseverance, coupled with a kind heart and a caring soul, keeps me in awe every single day.

Happy birthday to my amazing firstborn, and thank you for letting me learn along with you and take this journey of motherhood.

Beverly D. Flaxington teaches at Suffolk University.

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Essays About Your Mom: Top 5 Examples and 5 Prompts

Some of the most important memories in our lives involve our mothers. If you need to write essays about your mom, our guide will help.

A mother is a female parent of a child. Mothers nurture their children throughout childhood and, for many, throughout adulthood as well. The desire to support and protect our children is never ending for many mothers.

Motherhood, however, is not always a genetic role. Many people foster or adopt children or find themselves acting in a parental role for someone else’s children. What matters is the effort you put into a motherly role; for most, the instincts are all there.

It can safely be said that a mom is one of the most significant role models one can have in life and one whose influence continues to inspire. I once read a statement that said, ‘one day, you will realize your Mom is the best friend you will ever have.’ That is certainly true for me, and I hope for many of you.

If you are writing essays about your mom, our essay examples should prove inspiring.

5 Top Essay Examples

1. story of my mom by wilbur mckenzie, 2. an open letter to my mom, and all moms by samantha wolf , 3. my mom is a movie star by dan moore, 4. leader of my life: my mother by chelsea gonzales.

5. Your Mom Doesn’t Hate You, She’s Just Trying to Help You by Carly Newberg

5 Writing Prompts On Essays About Your Mom

1. the best memory of your mom, 2. a lesson your mom taught you, 3. what is your mom’s best quality, 4. your mom as a role model, 5. who is your mom.

“My mother believes in me, in everything I do, and is always positive about it. Every decision, task, and every level that I concur, my mom is always there, believing in me that I will succeed. Graduating 5th grade and moving up to 6th grade was a big step, just like graduating 8th grade and moving up to 9th grade was. But my mother believed that I would still do well in school and would enjoy it a lot.”

Mckenzie writes about his mother as his greatest influence and inspiration. He reflects on how his mom always makes sure he is well and how she loves the family unconditionally. He also describes her selflessness, as she volunteers for those in need and raises money for charity. Her mother’s love, selflessness, and encouragement inspire Mckenzie to try his best in everything he does, and he is genuinely grateful for her.

“All I can say is thank you for being an amazing mother and all I want for you is to keep doing what makes you happy and brightens your day. Keep creating and going to the beach just to look at the ocean. Keep running, even if it’s not in marathons and don’t forget how awesome of a mother you are. Keep collecting seashells and spreading your positive energy everywhere you go. I love you, Mom.”

Wolf’s essay is addressed to her own mother and is composed of different notes and letters. According to Wolf, her mother is hardworking, optimistic, and devoted, and she recalls several moments they shared. The moments she describes are heartfelt and profound experiences that many can relate to.

“To this day, she wakes up every morning, marches into our living room, and talks with cancer patients on the phone, lending them her empathy and expertise. It’s amazing, and I wanted her to know I saw all that. I wanted her to know I knew she’s always been a badass. I wanted her to know she’s an inspiration to me, a dynamic, courageous, capable, remarkable person I admire and study every day.”

Moore discusses his mother’s life beyond her role in his life. He briefly tells her life story, then writes about her work for a colon cancer foundation. She spends most of her time consoling and caring for cancer patients; only now is Moore able to appreciate what she is doing. He is in awe at all that his mom has been able to accomplish besides being a great mother to him.

“She utilizes her wisdom by teaching me the ways of life. She rejoices as I apply her teachings in my life and she understands me. The abundance of knowledge my mother has supplied me with continuously fills my life with rare and beautiful treasures.”

In her essay, Gonzales reflects on the spiritual lessons her mom has instilled in her. Her mother is a role model of a strong, Christian woman devoted to her family and God. She is always there for her daughter, giving her advice on how to handle difficult situations. Gonzales aspires to be just like her mother in everything she does, especially when raising her own children.

5. Your Mom Doesn’t Hate You, She’s Just Trying to Help You by Carly Newberg

“I’m not a parent (yet). However, I hope that when I am, I can take what I’ve learned from the obstacles I’ve faced with my mom, to keep the generational progress moving forward. After all, that is one of the beautiful gifts we’re given on Earth; To learn from the mistakes of our loved ones, map out our route accordingly, do our best to get where we are going, and accept the detours along the way knowing those after us will use them to love harder and live wiser.”

In this essay, Newberg discusses a phenomenon we are all too familiar with: mothers arguing with us. She explains that despite their seemingly curtailing actions, mothers always want what is best for us and are even struggling with whether their decisions are correct. Newberg suggests that we should be understanding of our mothers and use these experiences as lessons for how to parent in the future.

Essays About Your Mom: The best memory of your mom

For your essay, reflect on an experience with your mom that you treasure. Perhaps it is a birthday celebration, a trip out of town, or simply a conversation you had. Describe the events that transpired, how they made you feel, and why you treasure them as you do. Also, consider if your perception of this event has changed. Perhaps it has taught you more than you first thought.

One of a mother’s primary roles is to teach her children essential skills and lessons to prepare them for the future. Think about one or more things your mom taught you, whether life skills, values, or otherwise. You can be as general or in-depth as you want regarding what you’ve learned from your mom, but be sure to explain it adequately.

For an interesting essay topic, write about a quality of your mom’s that you seek to emulate- her patience, kindness, or fortitude. Discuss why you have chosen it, how it is essential to who your mom is, and how you hope to use it in the future.

Essays About Your Mom: Your mom as a role model

Mothers are role models to everyone, not only their kids but also to others they interact with daily. In your essay, you can reflect on a time your mom did something truly admirable that cemented her position as your role model. As with the other essays, describe the events, what you learned, and why you chose this. You may also comment on how it has shaped you as a prospective or active parent. Discuss any aspects of parenthood you would like to emulate and those you would not!

This essay topic may seem simple, but one can learn much about a person from a simple biography and reflection. Give readers a general idea of what your mom does, her role in your life, and how she has made you who you are today; paint a picture of this fantastic woman and why she is so important. You can include something about her background and note how it has influenced her, making her the mom she is. Also, you may consider whether any of her inherited traits have been passed to you.

For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers . For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

What No One Tells You About Becoming a Mother

You can find plenty of practical information out there about pregnancy and parenting, but what about the emotional rollercoaster and identity shift that occurs for many women and their partners when they have a child? We don’t talk much about it—and if we do, it’s usually in the context of postpartum depression.

We need a new model to think about the transition to motherhood. That’s the focus of the new book What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood , co-authored by psychiatrists Alexandra Sacks and Catherine Birndorf.

In the book, Sacks and Birndorf seek to educate readers about the stage of life called “matrescence,” which is the developmental transition to motherhood. Just as a baby transitions to toddlerhood and a child transitions to adolescence, matrescence is a natural but distinct period of life. The authors seek to normalize matrescence—the hormones, emotions, fights, periods of self-doubt, and more—rather than assuming that any difficulties around motherhood indicate a mental health issue.

Their insights come from their experience over more than a decade as reproductive psychiatrists with pregnant and new mothers, as well as research suggesting that women have unique biological, hormonal, and emotional needs during this period—and that those needs are too often neglected. Studies suggest that tools such as mindfulness can help mothers have a greater sense of self-efficacy during labor and the transition to motherhood, and many psychologists point to the importance of empathy and communication between new parents. In the interview below, Sacks shares how women and their partners can prepare for becoming parents, and why more research and greater social support is needed for this important stage of life.

Jenara Nerenberg: Is there much research happening on mental health during matrescence?

Alexandra Sacks: No, this is not a large area of research, and that’s for a couple of reasons. First of all, my training is in psychiatry, and where I work I often come across literature that’s about illness and disease. So there are fewer opportunities for education and research about psychological development . I became really interested in the big hole in public health education around developmental models aside from illness, because I think in the arc of how we talk about the psychological development of a human, there haven’t been classic models used that separate out a woman’s unique experience. 

There has been a bias to assume that men and women have the same data. And that’s why we learn things [about women] later—about how heart disease manifests in women, or the cardiac impact of pregnancy. We’ve been really behind in this literature, because there’s a whole history of the Food and Drug Administration excluding women of reproductive age from clinical trials, which really only changed in the ’90s, and then still not including pregnant women in clinical trials. (Although there are some reasons for that in particular, it still means limited opportunities for data and research support.)

When we think about functional neuroimaging, there’s more research looking at disease. So in terms of questions like, “How does pregnancy change the brain?” there’s less research in that area. And that’s true across the board in terms of women’s health. It’s an area of increased need in research. Even postpartum depression has been underexplored! So it’s important to expand research on these diagnoses and treatment models for illness.

My interest was that I was seeing a clinical hole in how patients and the general population talked about emotion in pregnancy and new motherhood. I was hearing people say things like, “I think I have the postpartum,” but for many people their descriptions didn’t match the diagnostic criteria for postpartum depression. Even the expression of “postpartum” really just describes a time period. There was a desire to have more tools for describing the transition and some of the stresses around the difficulty, and so that’s where my work entered.

JN: How can women deal with these stresses and the internal dialogue—the shame, the stigma—that you talk about in the book?

AS: Discomfort and uncomfortable emotions are a natural experience in the transition to motherhood. Ambivalence, for example, is a natural emotion. I think increasing conversation to reduce shame and stigma around any negative [emotion] is important.

And also around miscarriage or fertility issues, and breastfeeding. To reduce stigma and normalize that much of this is out of your control. And to find ways to increase supportive communities for women: improved access to talk therapy, peer-to-peer experiences, and better reimbursement for professional access. And communities and experiences for women that speak to deeper questions. There’s so much talk about the objects you buy for baby and celebration and superficial aspects like clothing and baby showers—and they can be wonderful rituals, but they can sometimes not leave enough room for the fuller, more complex reality of motherhood.

JN: How do you think women can be more self-compassionate during this vital period of matrescence?

AS: Have early conversations with your partner and family about support with child care, because I think it really comes down to how you take care of yourself while you’re a caretaker. Things like exercise, social support, healthy food preparation—I just think child care is a huge aspect of this.

JN: Given your focus on lifespan development, what else would you like people to know about before pregnancy and after?

AS: I think we need to find empowering ways to educate women and girls about their bodies so they can make informed choices. I think it’s a really complex reality that biological clock changes occur around times when people are most often maximizing their professional opportunity in their 30s. To educate people about the biological clock, fertility, and access to affordable reproductive technology, and expand such conversations around options, encourages women to take an active role in family planning and timing as it relates to other important decisions in life, like partnership, financial health, and other professional and personal goals.

And to be mindful that if you’re wanting to have more support in order to develop other parts of yourself, it’s important to verbalize those expectations. In a lot of couples, there’s an equal respect and sharing of the financial load before having children, but I think it’s hard for people to talk about how that will look after, especially based on gender roles [they learned from] how they were raised. So I encourage people to have those conversations early on in terms of how you envision life, sharing domestic responsibilities, and child care.

My hope for future generations of younger women is that we have expanded social supports for moms so that less pressure is put on the nuclear family to solve these complicated questions like going to work and also having affordable care for our children. I think education about women’s bodies and communication about social and domestic roles in partnership are important.

JN: What is the most important thing for couples to think about as they transition from pregnancy to new parenthood?

AS: How are you going to share the load—the emotional load, financial load, and domestic load? How will you have time to take care of yourselves as individuals and as a couple, and what are the ways in which you will continue to nurture your relationship that fall under the “romantic” and not under the work of parenting? I think that’s important—for the health of relationships—to create space that is about romantic connection, even after you have children.

Another thing I would say to couples is about the fantasy that having a baby will bond you and your partner together. While certainly that is the case for some couples, new parenthood is also often a stress in the relationship. So to work on the emotional health of your relationship before becoming parents is really important.

JN: If you had your pick, where would more research be directed, given this clinical hole you’ve identified?

AS: I think there should be more research on estrogen and the brain. And public health advocacy, in terms of creating social supports that are standard in other countries, like paid maternity and paternity leave. More education about equal distribution of child care in a family. And subsidized child care in our country. I think those are serious preventive health issues where we are sorely lacking in psychosocial support for women.

About the Author

Jenara Nerenberg

Jenara Nerenberg is the author of the acclaimed book Divergent Mind , which was hailed by Library Journal as "extraordinary, jaw-dropping," and endorsed by Steve Silberman, Robert Whitaker, Sundance's Kamal Sinclair, Hollywood's Pop Culture Collaborative, and many more. She is an award-winning writer and producer, named as a "Brave New Idea" speaker by The Aspen Institute, and graduated from the Harvard School of Public Health and UC Berkeley with advanced degrees in political theory, race relations, and media. Jenara is the creator of The Neurodiversity Project and The Interracial Project and sends out event updates at Microphone in Her Throat . She lives, loves, and works in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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18 Moms Describe What It Means to Be a Mother

February 11, 2023

What it Means to Be a Mom - Mother's Day

What is motherhood? What does it mean to be a mother? These questions are as challenging to answer as they are simple. Yes, to give birth; yes, to adopt children; yes, to have a family. But being a mother is also about much more than that, isn’t it? There’s some large, overwhelming, and beautiful piece at the center of motherhood that is so hard to put words to. It’s a feeling, not an explanation. Maybe that piece is best called love . If so, it is truly a unique love reserved for the mother/child relationship. And when you’ve felt it, you know it.

Since we’re just a few days away from Mother’s Day, we put this question to 18 moms: “What does it mean to be a mother?” The responses we heard were lovely, inspirational, and downright funny! Read them all below.

“For me, motherhood is seeing the profound value in learning about who your children are, and then encouraging and teaching them to be the best versions of themselves. It is my greatest hope that this acceptance and unconditional love will empower and strengthen my children as well as foster self-confidence and kindness!”

—Courtney Westlake blogger, Blessed By Brenna Blog | Instagram | Facebook

“Motherhood is truly a remarkable gift and a privilege that I hold very close to my heart. To me, being a mother means to be fearless, to be a positive role model, to be a continuous cheerleader for every milestone my children will experience, to demonstrate the abundance of unconditional love that has no end and to cherish the countless memories that is truly priceless.”

—Eluka Moore Co-Founder & Author, Kitchen Club Kids Website | Facebook | Twitter

“To me, being a mother is the greatest job in the world. Helping my girls through all the things life throws them, while also lifting them up so they can reach for the stars and grab one! That’s what being a mom is all about—always being there—the shoulder to cry on, the cheerleader to never give up, the one that gives the standing ovation, the familiar hand to hold.”

—Bobbie Rhoads Founder & President, FunBites LLC Website | Facebook | Twitter

“Being a mother means being completely and totally overwhelmed (in the best possible way) by love, joy, responsibility, and selflessness. Motherhood means sleepless nights, big belly laughs, caterpillars on the coffee table, finger-painting in the kitchen, stubbed toes, and gapped toothed grins. Motherhood has made life more colorful than I ever knew it could be. Being a mom means I have two little people who walk around with my heart and soul in the palms of their sweet, smudgy hands.”

—Lauren Casper Blogger Website | Facebook | Twitter

“To me, being a mother means getting to see all the possibility in the world through your children’s eyes, and also wanting to be the kindest and most generous version of yourself, so that your children can look up to you. On a day to day level, being a mother means being tired, sometimes grumpy and never left alone, and then, in one funny, loving or meaningful moment with your kids, realizing that it’s all completely worth it. Times one million.”

—Cara McDonough Blogger Blog | Twitter | Instagram

“Being a mother means being an emotional blankie for your children. They snuggle with you at night, run to you when they’re hurt, and stand behind you in scary situations. There’s nothing more warm and fuzzy.”

—Maia Haag Co-Founder & President, I See Me! LLC. Website | Facebook | Twitter

“For me, being a mother means it is MY responsibility to give my children the tools they need to live a happy and meaningful life. In the case of my daughters, Lily and Melanie, I wanted to empower them with a skill set that would allow them to create independent careers and avoid the glass ceiling…they are on their way with confidence and the sky is the limit.”

—Renee Sandler Founder & CEO, BLAMtastic® Website | Facebook | Twitter

“Being a mother means, knowing when to talk and knowing when to listen…understanding that there is no learning curve. Every day is an adventure (especially when you are raising three boys…Boy oh Boy oh Boy). I would not trade my best day before my kids were born for the worst day after. Motherhood is: a life time adventure, the hardest non-paying 24 hour job you will ever do, and my greatest achievement !”

—Amy Fazackerley Founder, Lay-n-Go Website | Facebook | Twitter

Being a mom means that “sacrificing my body, my time, my finances, my sleep, and my mental health to raise my kids will be worth it in the end, because life isn’t about me anymore. I just hope my kids survive my weaknesses, and realize I love them more than anything.”

—Heather Bowcutt KidsEmail Website | Facebook | Twitter

“Parenting is raising a child to be the best they can be. Being a mother is different: it means providing that indescribable feeling of comfort, no matter the age of the child. It’s being that person you call on that makes you feel better and doesn’t even need to say anything.”

—Wendy Hunter, MD Pediatrician & Founder of BabyScience.info Website | Facebook | Twitter

“Being a mother means learning, listening, leading, laughing, loving, and living in the moment . . . all while executing the myriad details of life with aplomb.”

—Rana DiOrio Founder/CEO of Little Pickle Presss Website | Facebook | Twitter

“Motherhood is to sleep with one eye open and always worry. To constantly feel guilty about SOMETHING. To have your heart so filled with love you think it might explode and then have it broken all in the space of less that 60 seconds. To be a guide, coach, cheerleader, policewoman, superhero, ‘kissy monster,’ friend and confidant, even when you have the flu and all you want to do is hide under the covers. To do your best and remember in the hardest of times that the tantrums will pass, teenagers grow out of it, nothing ends a bad parenting moment like a big hug, and most importantly that it’s okay not to be perfect.”

—Tova Leigh Blogger Blog | Facebook

“Being a mother means getting your toddler into his car seat as fast as possible (and without any tantrums) when all he wants is to ‘drive’ the car himself. It means leaving the house earlier so you have a few extra minutes to let him sit in the front seat in the driveway and ‘drive’ before going anywhere. Being a mother means trying to make the best of every situation, choosing your battles, and planning ahead!”

“A mother never says to her child, ‘You owe me.’ This is why her love is boundless, endless, seamless, selfless—unconditional. This is why her love multiplies and divides to embrace her own children and then theirs. There is a Mother Theresa in every mother and she should be celebrated (on Mother’s Day and) every day.”

—Roma Khetarpal Author of The Perfect Parent Website | Facebook | Twitter

“Being a mother, with its challenges and rewards, has shaped me into the person I never imagined I could become. Protecting and advocating for our children is something all mothers strive for, and for me this is especially true for my child with autism who needs me as an advocate and a voice. It’s been the best assertiveness training!”

—Lori DeMonia Author of Leah’s Voice and Love for Logan Website | Facebook | Twitter

40 Comments on “18 Moms Describe What It Means to Be a Mother”

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Motherhood is a privilege to officially gamble in life without an option. To unconditionally love without expectation, to be a great doctor, cheer leader, super hero, trustee and all the very many professions that exist but without education. To be is the best way to find one self and to understand you in life.

One of my dreams is to be a mother; I know that sounds strange, but it is true. So now I understand what it means to be a mother. Thank you for providing this information!

I’m a daughter and I really felt fascinating hearing this and I realized the pains, my mom takes.

Thanks, what an awesome article. Being a Mom is way much stress, but, at the end, your kids still become that super kid you wanted them to be!!!

Am a mother of 4 lovely children which they a my priority despite I lost my husband about 16 years ago at a tender age, s an adventure of unconditional love with positive attitude. As a mother, friend, confidant, & solictors to ourselves on issues that can depriving us frm our moral values & d word sorry to any unplesant situation alwys bring peace & unity to our home

It’s such a privilege to be a mom, The minute you receive that baby whether biologically or through adoption, you definitely feel and embrace that sense of responsibility. Your whole being becomes overwhelmed by love. You become a life coach of another human being and so you have to duplicate the best of yourself. Being a mom is the best thing that happens to every woman. You find a place to share the best of yourself and to be a coach, a discidisciplinarian and an angel at the same time. It’s an endless journey that makes life worth living.

Love it, Liz! That’s beautifully said!

I loved this article and i shared on facebook .My daughter will become a Mom for the first time this coming Feb.and i believe this will be a beautiful read for her.

Thanks for sharing, Kathy! :) Congrats to you and your daughter!

Great article! I love how we can all have different experiences, yet completely relate t one another throungh Motherhood. Power onward, Moms…we celebrate each other!

That is a really beautiful sentiment, Patricia. We all have this huge piece of us (motherhood) that we can totally relate to each other about, no matter what else is going on. That’s a really positive outlook.

Loved this artical!

Awesome! Glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment!

I loved this article! I am a mom to 4 kids under the age of 9 and my youngest is a 3 month old preemie who just recently got released from the NICU. Needless to say I can relate to alot of things in this article. Thank you!

We’re sure you can, Ashley! :) Glad you liked it. And congrats on the new one! :)

Being a mother means getting your eyes peeled open in the early morning lol.

Being a mom is amazing but also really, really hard. Somedays I don’t know how I do it all. LOVE my boys to bits and LOVE being a mom but I do miss the freedom I had before I had my boys.

Yes, it is definitely full of it’s ups and downs. And it sure does keep you busy! We know what you mean about missing the freedom, but be honest…you wouldn’t trade those beautiful children for anything!

This is a great article. Thank you for sharing it.

Thanks for the nice comment Desirae! Glad you like it.

It’s nice to read so many uplifting comments from others who view being a mom the same as me! I had my oldest son 6 years before any of my friends started having kids. It’s a rewarding job!

It is definitely rewarding, Kayla! Like anything else, there are some small ups and downs. But being a parent is the most beautiful and rewarding job in the world!

It’s comforting to hear so many other mothers words that closely resembles the feelings and words that are within myself. We all have the same goals… just different ways of expressing and going about them. If we would allow ourselves to toss aside the external differences and with an open-mind look underneath. We would find that we have more in common with eachother then we sometimes want to believe.

Lacey, that is beautifully said. Thank you! Sometimes differences are really just differences in the way we express ourselves, right? We’re really all after something quite similar. Hope you had a great Mother’s Day!

what a sweet article..Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms!!

Glad you enjoyed it, Valerie! Thanks! Happy Mother’s Day!

Aww such a sweet article. I love hearing how it reflects differently on each mother. Being a mother is the best gift I have received. I loving going through this crazy thing called life with my boys. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there!

Yes! We totally agree! Being a mother is the best gift of all! Thanks for the comment, Brittany! Hope you had a great Mother’s Day!

I am a mother and I loved all the stories , some I could really relate to. Such different thoughts and experiences, loved them.

Glad you liked it, Sherry! Hope you had a great Mother’s Day!

Great Comments and Experiences right from the heart Great write up Eluka

Thanks! Glad you like it! Eluka’s contribution is really wonderful!

Awww, I love these sayings, and they are all so true! It makes us realize to never take moms for granted!

Thanks Tiffany! :)

What Does it Really Mean to be a Mother?

The question of what it really means to be a mother is inextricably connected with what it means to have a mother, one of the most universal facts of human existence. To be a mother is to take the risk to make oneself vulnerable. Equally, if we are to accept that our relationship with our mother matters deeply to us, it can put us in touch with strong feelings of longing, love, ambivalence, disappointment and loss.

In the collection of essays in The Mother in Psychoanalysis and Beyond, my co-edited book with Rosalind Mayo just published with Routledge, the profound experiences of motherhood and of our relationship with our mother unfold in a prism. Certain myths return again and again in many of the contributors’ chapters to highlight the conflicts and dilemmas of our collective relationship with the Mother. Such as the myth of Athena, the Goddess of wisdom who emerges fully dressed and armoured, gestated in the head of her Father, Zeus after he raped and swallowed Athena’s pregnant mother. Athena is a woman-symbol of patriarchy, a symbol of the denial of strong emotions and vulnerability. Athena’s existence is based on matricide. Persephone on the other hand, gets abducted by Hades, the God of death and the underworld and her mother, Demeter mourns for her loss for the rest of her life. Mother-daughter separation here brings about the sterility of winter and the death of nature. What happens to Demeter, one of the contributors asks, what happens to women’s desire and loss of fertile state as they grow older?

Melancholia, but also the potential for a different kind of existence, one in harmony with the natural cycle of life, the power of creativity and of words and stories underlie the book. From looking at how the feminist movement failed to make room for motherhood as a potentially life-enhancing experience, to how mothers are blamed for universal ills, to the implications of the mother-son relationship for the boys’ ability to relate to women as well as the wounding effects of patriarchy to men’s developing identity, to the Madonna stereotype of the perfect mother still implicitly underlying our cultural ideals, to how having a rejecting mother may make it a more honest choice for a woman to reject motherhood, the chapters in the first part of the book highlight in many ways how the silencing of the mother’s experience affects us all on a deep socio-cultural level.

In the second part of the book, the raw voices and experiences of mothers and daughters are given space. How one of the authors used visual art and photographing her children as an enormously creative response to her experience of postnatal depression and the shame it bought along with it, to the unsent letters that an adult daughter still addresses to her long lost mother, to the socio-political reality of disempowerment entailed in becoming a mother, the multiplicity of voices here are not afraid to name the strong feelings involved in our experiences of our mothers and of motherhood. One of the contributors shows us how her journey to motherhood entailed overcoming her strong ambivalence towards her own mother, another how she found in music a deep connection with her mother that words failed to deliver. My chapter highlights how closely our sense of ourselves as erotic beings is entangled with our beginning in life and the longing for the mother’s body. Finally, the last chapter brings together the silencing of the mother and the daughter through unspoken class divides as well as the deeply engrained cultural aversion to the ageing woman’s body.

Can some of our love and longing for the mother and ourselves be recovered through opening ourselves up to our connection with our roots and the stories that brought us in this world? Therapy of course, can potentially be a journey of self-discovery where the mother does not get murdered for her failings, intended or not, but she gets rediscovered as a creative and integral part of ourselves.

Book launch: Regent's University, Inner Circle, NW1 4NS. October 18 7-9pm: