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How to Deal with Homework Frustration As a Parent

Last Updated: June 22, 2022

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 7,532 times.

When your child struggles with their homework, they may become frustrated or upset. In turn, this may cause them to act out, and you may wind up frustrated yourself. Fortunately, there are ways you can help your child calm down when they begin to become agitated. There are also strategies you can use to help them work through challenging assignments, and to help ensure homework sessions go more smoothly moving forward.

Overcoming Homework Frustration Together

• Instead of becoming frustrated yourself, try talking to your child calmly. Start with a brief, sympathetic statement. For instance, say “I’m sorry your homework is stressful today,” or “I know it can be frustrating when an assignment is hard to understand.”
• Then, let your child know that there is more than just one way to accomplish a task and that you will help them to find a way that will work for them. Say something like, “There is a way for you to get this done that will be less frustrating and I will help you figure it out.”

• Direct them to breathe in through their nose deeply and slowly for five seconds, and then release slowly through their mouth.
• If you do lose your temper and shout at your child, apologize to them and remind yourself they need your help.
• Once everyone is relaxed again, say something like, “Alright let’s have a look at this homework together.”

• Listen to your child's response and respond with a way they can handle a similar situation differently in the future.
• For instance, if they say, "I got mad because it was too hard," point out that they were able to complete the assignment, and had just gotten stuck on one problem. Then say, "Next time, you know you can always ask me or your teacher about parts of your assignment that don't make sense, right?"

• Furthermore, anticipate and accept the fact that you will likely have a verbal battle about homework at one point or another.
• If you find yourself getting frustrated when your child struggles with homework, take a moment afterwards to reflect. In particular, remind yourself that growing up involves plenty of challenges for children, and that your patient support will help them immeasurably. It is very important to work through challenges with your child rather than expecting them to figure it out on their own.

Helping Your Child Work on Their Homework

• If they are not clearly able to explain the assignment, look it over yourself and see if it makes sense to you.
• If you are able to understand the assignment, help them get started - but only enough to ensure they understand what they need to do. Then allow them to finish the assignment themselves.
• Talk with your child’s teachers about the assignments and encourage your child to talk to their teachers when they don’t understand something. Let your child know that their teachers are there to help them.

• For instance, correct your child when they something like, “You’re wrong!” by saying, “It’s okay to think that I’m wrong, but try saying it differently.”
• Offer them examples too, such as “Mom, I don’t think that’s how I’m supposed to do it.”
• If your child starts to berate themselves, then correct them. For example, if your child says something like, “I am so stupid! I am never going to understand this!” reframe it by saying, “You are smart and you can figure this out.”

• For instance, maybe a grandparent can help more peacefully.
• Alternatively, consider searching for an older student to help tutor your child after school. Your child’s school may be able to help facilitate this arrangement.

• If you think the homework your child is bringing home may be too challenging for them or for students their age, don't hesitate to mention this to their teacher.
• If your child's teacher is not receptive to your input or does not provide adequate responses to your questions, speak with an administrator at the school about any unresolved concerns you have.

Encouraging Good Homework Habits

• A half an hour will often be more than enough for grade school children, while an hour may be better for middle and high school aged kids.
• Early evening is usually ideal. Avoid asking your child to do their homework right after school, unless this works for them. Some kids do better with homework on an empty stomach, while others may need to eat a meal and wait a bit before they can focus.
• Make sure to give your child a chance to relax and decompress after school before they get into their homework. For example, you might make your child a snack and let them play a game or play outside for about 30 minutes to an hour before starting their homework.

• Avoid watching television or messing around on your phone while your child is working. Not only are these potentially distracting, they may also seem unfair to your child.
• Set up a workspace for your child that is free of distractions. For example, you could clear the kitchen or dining room table so that your child can complete their homework there.

• Favor language that praises their effort, as opposed to their ability. For instance, say things like, “I can see you’re working very hard on your homework. Good job!”

Expert Q&A

You might also like.

• ↑ http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/going-to-school/supporting-your-learner/struggling-academically/
• ↑ http://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/deal-with-homework/
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pride-and-joy/201209/battles-over-homework-advice-parents
• ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-teen-homework.html?WT.ac=en-p-homework-help-a#

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Posted on October 8, 2019 by confidentparentsconfidentkids

Frustrations over Homework? Practice this Coping Strategy…

Research confirms that short breaks help a person’s brain refresh and process. Staring at the page may not produce any new thinking in your child and in fact, staying there when irritated can burn valuable fuel and decrease motivation to put in the hard work necessary to get through the learning process.

But if he walks away, gets some fresh air, or moves a bit, he might feel differently. This small change of scenery can boost thinking skills in powerful ways. He can think more clearly and become a better problem-solver when he returns. He may even gain some new ideas or solutions to his problem removed from the work setting. This functions in the same way that we experience the “shower effect.” Do you get your best ideas in the shower too? Or perhaps your most creative thoughts come when you are driving in the car with no laptop or notepad at the ready? Or maybe when you’ve laid down to go to sleep for the night, your brain starts firing off brilliant thoughts. In order to access our top thinking skills, we require a mental rest. Consider that a short brain break for your child is working with their natural thinking processes to facilitate them, not fight against them.

So although our intention to promote grit and “stick-to-attive-ness” in our children comes from a genuine hope to help them be successful, teaching and promoting brain breaks can help children learn to manage their emotions more effectively while working. And in addition, they may be able to extend their focused attention when they return to work with added motivation from the fuel they’ve gained.

Here are some simple ways to teach, practice, and promote the essential brain break.

Talk about the Brain Break during a regular (non-frustrating) homework time.

Or if homework is consistently frustrating, then pick a non-homework time to talk about how to take brain breaks.

Brainstorm ideas.

See if you can come up with a few ideas together. What can your child do when taking a brain break? You might ask: “ What makes you feel better or gives you comfort when you’re feeling frustrated? ” You can share some restorative ideas like walking outside and breathing in the fresh air, doing some jumping jacks or a yoga pose, getting a drink of water, or visiting a favorite stuffed friend. For young children, imitate your favorite animal. Hop like a bunny or jump from limb to limb like a squirrel. For older children, listen to your favorite song or play on a musical instrument. Have your child write or draw their ideas. Keep that paper in your homework location so that when it’s needed, you can remind your child to take a look at what ideas she’s had and pick one. Daniel Goleman’s book entitled “ Focus; The Hidden Driver of Excellence ” recommends getting outside in nature as one of the most restorative (and just stepping outside your front door counts!). He also writes that checking email, surfing the web, or playing video games are not restorative so avoid those when you are generating brain break ideas.

Discuss school brain breaks.

Yes, brain breaks are key at school too. But does your child’s teacher offer them? Even if they do, they are likely structured breaks for all students and may not serve your own child’s needs at the moment she has them. Help her learn self-management skills by figuring out what she can do in the midst of frustrating moments when she is sitting at her desk completing a worksheet or taking a test. Because mindfulness simply means becoming aware of your body and your thoughts and feelings (and holding compassion for those feelings – not judgement), it can be done anywhere. Your child could count to ten slowly while breathing deeply. Your child could tap each finger on her page individually while breathing noticing the touching sensation. She could wiggle each toe in her shoes noticing how that feels. These pauses can help her bring her focus back to her work.

Set a timer.

Brain breaks should not be long. After all, your child has work to accomplish and especially on school nights, time is limited. So allow enough time to move away and change the perspective but not so much time that your child gets involved in another activity. One to three minutes could be enough to accomplish that goal. Also, put your child in charge of the timer. You don’t want to be the one managing this break. Give your child that responsibility.

Do a dry run.

Practice is important before using it. Include deep breathing in your practice. For young children, try out hot chocolate breathing or teddy bear breathing to practice this important part of the break. For older children, you can merely count to ten while breathing or exaggerate the sound of your deep breathing together. Call “ brain break. ” Move away from work, breathe deeply, and try out your child’s idea for one restorative practice. This practice will ensure that she is well-rehearsed and can call upon that memory when she’s feeling frustrated and taken over by her flight or fight survival brain.

Notice, remind, and reinforce through reflection.

After you’ve generated ideas and practiced, then notice when you see your child getting frustrated. You might say, “ I notice you have a frustrated look on your face. Would a brain break help ?” Then after she does a brain break and her homework is complete, reflect. “ Did that help you and how did it help you? ” in order to maximize her learning.

For parents, teaching and promoting brain breaks with your child can serve as a helpful reminder to us. Yes, we also require brain breaks as we deal with a myriad of responsibilities and attempt to use focused attention with our child, as well as our work, as well as our household and social responsibilities. If you notice you are feeling overloaded with it all, how can you incorporate brain breaks into your own day to help you become more effective? I think I’ll take one…right now.

For Educators, check out this great article on Edutopia on how to incorporate brain breaks and other focusing activities into your daily classroom routines.

Brain Breaks and Focused Attention Practices

References:

Goleman, D. (2013). Focus; The hidden driven of excellence . NY: Harper Collins.

Kim et al. (2018). Daily micro-breaks and job performance: General work engagement as a cross-level moderator. Journal of Applied Psychology. 103 (7) 772-786.

Originally published on February 17, 2019.

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Category: Building a Positive Family Environment Tags: brain breaks , Coping skills , Dealing with big feelings , frustrating homework , homework frustrations , learning challenges , Self-management , upset during homework

11 Comments on “Frustrations over Homework? Practice this Coping Strategy…”

Thanks for your share. There are as many ways to learn as there are people. Since college, I found methods for learning that reduced after school study time from 20 hours to nearly none. As a teacher, I shared some of these ideas, but encouraged the kids to find what works for them. They could use what I shared, try it, but find what works for them. Here’s what I shared: As the teacher lectures, read the book/text (splitting attention for high functioning students), or read the book soon after the lecture (which I gave time). I would take notes as the teacher talked, but also summarize paragraphs as I read (like one or two phrases each). I also got into the habit of drawing pictures to explain each page (main point). Now, this sounds complex, but it isn’t, all happening at the same time. She lectures, I’m reading and listening: listening for the main points. As I’m reading, I’m summarizing paragraphs and drawing pictures so I can visualize what is happening. At home, all I do is read the notes and look at the pictures, while it’s fresh, to review. Never had to study for tests except to review the notes and think about them. The students who understood this improved in grades. I taught them to learn through understanding, not memorization. Understand and all the pieces fit. Some kids used aspects of this, borrowing, but including their own ideas. The main thing is to understand as you go.

Wow! Thank you sincerely for sharing how you study and advise others! This is so excellent. I really appreciate how you incorporate multiple ways of grappling with the material as you are learning it – summarizing, drawing pictures. These are terrific study methods. I think this is a blog article of the future since very few schools actually take the time to teach study skills. Are you a parent too? My criteria for writing an guest article is that you are a parent (of an 0-18 year old in your household) and have experience/expertise in child development or social and emotional development. If you are interested and fit that criteria, I hope you’ll email me at [email protected] . Thanks for the excellent comment! Best, Jennifer

You’re not going to beleive me when I explain. I was married once, but no children. However, as a teacher, I gathered that if I didn’t have my own children, the work of teaching would be worth the time. But, I think, my friends and family would tell you they think I’m unusual. I’m not. I simply wanted to understand learning and how best to learn, since I hated school while growing up and looked for easier ways. I’ll share something, and people can read my site for other articles (Those articles aren’t the most popular, because writing seems to block the communication that happens in person.). This was when I trained a horse. I had learned some riding in college, then helped people learn beginning riding in summer camp. But I had never trained a horse. **One day, while at work, a friend told me of another friend who was looking for someone to train his 2/3 year old thoroughbred horse. It had never been trained, never been saddled: basically, it was a pet. So, I told him I could train the horse. He didn’t ask if I had ever trained a horse, just if I could. Of course I could. Had no idea what was going to happen. I read one book on the horse whisperer and one magazine about horse training tips. I thought about horses. I knew I liked them, been around them while learning riding, so I figured all would be good. Then, I thought about what training might look like, visualized lessons, wrote down ideas, then went one step at a time. Met the horse, with the owner. Got to know the horse. Two weeks later, we could walk, trot, cantor, gallop, walk backwards, and open gates while sitting on the horse. But we were a partnership. I just listened to what the horse was telling me. This isn’t hard. It’s just all too many of us have been educated out of our common sense. We’ve lost that innate knowing that children have. When I teach, I try to support what children already have, teaching them to trust themselves, but they must do the work. Hope this helps.

Oh my goodness! I love it! I love your example of training a horse and how you learned what you could be then and then deep dove into a partnership of learning with the horse. That’s beautiful! That is how we all learn, isn’t it? It’s just that we adults seem to run into many fears and barriers as we attempt to let go of some of the control while we allow for our learning partner to try and take chances and experiment. It’s a dance for sure. I also love that you hated school but loved figuring out how learning takes place and how you could do it in a way that your students actually derived joy from the experience. Just wonderful! Thank you for writing! You have a whole lot of wisdom to share! Glad you are blogging about it! Please keep in touch. Best, Jennifer

By the way, Jennifer, you’re one of the reasons I keep trying to encourage others to see how easy learning is.

Thank for that comment! I appreciate it. I too am a student of learning and think we can gain a whole lot from learning from our children!

Good ideas. L,M >

Hi Jennifer, Brain break tricks you shared are really helpful for parents , teachers and students as well. Not every time one can go for vacation or on a trip. Many parents feel helpless when they see kids struggling with their work. I am sure if they document such tips and tricks and go through it every if and then, then it would be more helpful for them. ‘Deep breath’ technique is really wonderful for elders as well, it calms and fresh you up with in minutes. School and tuition teachers also need to learn and use such tactics to involve kids in better way. Thanks for sharing.

Zayden, I agree! Breaks and teaching coping strategies can be such empowering tools for parents as they support learning at home. Appreciate your feedback! 🙂 Jennifer

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10 Effective Tips on How to Reduce Homework Stress

Wondering how to reduce homework stress? You're not alone, as students of all ages and grades often grapple with this issue. 

The pressure to get good grades, finish homework on time, and keep up with different tasks can make you lose sleep, feel anxious, and even make you sick. This blog post is here to help you handle all that stress. 

We're going to explore ways to reduce homework stress, why taking notes can help, and answer some common questions about dealing with homework stress. So, let's get started on making schoolwork less stressful!

10 Ways to Deal With Homework Stress

Understanding how to deal with homework stress is key. Here are ten tried-and-true methods to help you cope effectively.

The first line of defense against homework stress is a well-thought-out plan. A homework schedule serves as your blueprint for academic success. It helps ensure that you're not cramming at the last minute and makes it easier to study . 

Use digital tools like Google Calendar or traditional planners to map out your study plan. The act of planning itself can alleviate stress by giving you a sense of control over your tasks.

1. Prioritize Tasks

Not all assignments are created equal. Some carry more weight in your grades, while others are crucial for mastering the subject matter. As a result, it’s important to prioritize these tasks to focus your energy where it counts the most. 

Use the Eisenhower Box technique to categorize tasks into urgent-important, important-not urgent, urgent-not important, and neither. This will help you allocate your time and resources more efficiently.

2. Take Short Breaks

It's a common misconception that working for extended periods without a break is a sign of dedication. In reality, it's a recipe for burnout. Short breaks can rejuvenate your mind, improving focus and productivity. 

Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique , which involves 25-minute work intervals followed by five-minute breaks, can be particularly effective.

3. Exercise Regularly

Physical activity is not just good for your body; it's excellent for your mind too. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural stress relievers. Even a brisk 15-minute walk can significantly reduce stress and improve your mood. Incorporate regular exercise into your routine to keep stress at bay.

4. Reach Out for Help

There's no shame in seeking assistance when you're grappling with a tough issue. Whether it's from a teacher, a peer, or an online educational platform, outside viewpoints can offer invaluable guidance. Overall, there are a ton of advantages of tutoring . 

In fact, our tutoring services specialize in providing personalized, one-on-one support to help you overcome academic challenges. By turning to our team of experts, you not only save time but also alleviate the stress that comes with feeling stuck.

5. Use Technology Wisely

In this digital age, technology can be a double-edged sword. While it can be a source of distraction, it can also be a valuable ally in your academic journey. 

Educational platforms, both apps and websites, provide a wide array of resources to aid your learning journey. For instance, you can find apps that help you solve complex math equations or websites that assist you in refining your grammar. While these tools can be incredibly beneficial, it's important to strike a balance and not become too dependent on them. 

For example, you might use a math app to understand the steps of solving a quadratic equation but try to practice solving some on your own afterward. Similarly, a grammar checker can help you identify errors in your writing, but you should also make an effort to understand the rules behind those corrections.

6. Create a Study Environment

Your study environment plays a pivotal role in your academic performance. A clutter-free, quiet space can significantly enhance your focus and efficiency. Invest time in creating a study sanctuary equipped with all the supplies you'll need. This preparation can go a long way in reducing stress.

7. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep-breathing exercises, can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. This heightened awareness makes it easier to control your stress levels. Even a few minutes of mindfulness practice can make a world of difference.

8. Stay Organized

Being organized goes beyond just maintaining a clean study area; it also involves systematically managing your study materials. Utilize physical folders and binders or opt for digital solutions like note-taking apps to keep your notes, assignments, and resources well-arranged. 

For example, apps like Evernote and Microsoft OneNote can be excellent tools for getting organized. They allow you to create different notebooks for various subjects, attach files, and even collaborate with others. Having a well-organized system helps you locate what you need effortlessly, saving you time and reducing stress.

9. Learn From Your Mistakes

Mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. They signal areas where you might need more practice or a different approach. Instead of getting frustrated, take a moment to understand why you made a mistake. Was it a lack of understanding, a misinterpretation, or simply a slip-up? 

Once you identify the root cause, you can work on strengthening that particular skill or concept. Over time, you'll notice that your homework becomes less stressful because you're not just completing it; you're also learning from it. So, don't fear mistakes – embrace them as your homework allies.

10. Reward Yourself

Positive reinforcement can be a powerful motivator. Treat yourself to small rewards after completing challenging tasks or reaching milestones. Whether it's a favorite snack, a short gaming session, or a walk in the park, these rewards can make the study process less daunting.

Why Are Note-Taking Techniques Important?

Note-taking is often misunderstood as a mere transcription activity where students jot down whatever the teacher is saying. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. Effective note-taking is an intricate skill that serves multiple functions, from aiding in comprehension to serving as a reliable study aid for future exams. 

It's not just about capturing information; it's about processing that information in a way that makes it easier to understand, remember, and apply.

The Science Behind Effective Note-Taking

When you engage in effective note-taking, you're actually participating in "active learning." This means you're not just passively absorbing information but actively processing it. This active engagement triggers cognitive functions that help in better retention and understanding. 

According to research , students who take notes perform better in exams compared to those who don't. The act of writing or typing out notes forces you to think critically about the material, thereby enhancing your understanding and ability to recall it later.

FAQs: How to Reduce Homework Stress

Discover practical tips and strategies to ease the burden of homework and make your academic journey less stressful.

1. How Can I Relieve Stress From Homework?

Stress relief comes in many forms. Techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and even short physical exercises can help. Consider incorporating these into your study routine.

2. What Causes Homework Stress?

Homework stress can arise from various factors, including tight deadlines, high academic expectations, and a lack of understanding of the subject matter. Identifying the root cause can help you address it more effectively.

3. How Can I Help My Child With Homework Anxiety?

Supporting your child emotionally is crucial. Create a conducive study environment, establish a regular study routine, and consider seeking professional help like tutors or counselors if the anxiety persists.

Final Thoughts

Homework stress may seem like a hurdle, but it's one you can clear. Learning how to reduce homework stress is essential. With the right approaches and a positive mindset, you can not only handle this stress but also excel in your studies. 

Keep in mind that achieving academic success is more of a long-term race than a quick dash. By arming yourself with these proven strategies, you can make your educational journey much less stressful.

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Dealing With Homework Frustration: 4 Coping Mechanisms

When homework becomes a source of frustration for children, it’s crucial to have effective strategies in place. Drawing on the experiences of founders and managers, we’ve compiled four key approaches to help your child navigate these challenges. From encouraging breaks and a step-by-step approach to validating their feelings and promoting positive coping, discover the supportive mechanisms these professionals recommend.

Encourage Breaks and Step-by-Step Approach

Have problem-solving talks, support emotional management, validate feelings and promote positive coping.

When my child experiences frustration while doing homework, I encourage my child to take a short break and engage in a physical activity or relaxation technique to alleviate stress and regain focus. This could involve taking a walk, doing deep-breathing exercises, or practicing mindfulness techniques.

I emphasize the importance of breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and encourage my child to prioritize and tackle them one at a time. By setting realistic goals and celebrating small victories along the way, my child can build confidence and motivation to overcome challenges.

I offer emotional support and reassurance by listening attentively to my child’s concerns and validating their feelings of frustration. I emphasize that it’s okay to struggle and make mistakes, and I encourage my child to adopt a growth mindset by viewing setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth.

When my child feels frustrated with homework, I encourage taking short, structured breaks to clear their mind, such as a quick walk or a few minutes of a relaxing activity. I also sit down with them to talk through the problem, helping to break it down into smaller, more manageable parts, which often makes the task seem less daunting and more achievable.

When a child experiences frustration with homework, I recommend a supportive approach focused on problem-solving and emotional management.

First, encourage a short break to help them reset mentally and physically, such as a walk or a few minutes of quiet time. This can help lower immediate stress levels. Then, engage in a calm discussion to understand the specific challenges they’re facing. Offer guidance on breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, highlighting the importance of tackling one piece at a time to avoid overwhelm. Reinforce the concept that it’s okay to ask for help, whether from a parent, teacher, or tutor, emphasizing that struggling is a natural part of learning.

Lastly, celebrate small victories to boost their confidence and motivation. This combination of strategies promotes resilience, problem-solving skills, and a positive attitude toward challenges.

Dealing with frustrations with a child’s homework necessitates a combination of care, guidance, and productive coping responses. Setting up a positive environment around people is crucial when it comes to creating resilience and the right attitude towards challenges.

Validate their feelings by acknowledging that they are valid – “I understand that this is frustrating to you.” Validation helps to make the child feel heard and understood.

In case frustration increases, propose a brief break to be taken from the job. Activities or relaxation practices during this interval may be productive. It allows them to reboot and return with an optimistic state of mind.

Large or complicated assignments can be daunting. Break them down into smaller, easier-to-manage units for your child, such as celebrating small wins along the journey that instill a feeling of achievement.

Instead of giving answers, approach them with questions that make them think deeply about the problem. For instance, ask something like, “What part is the most challenging for you? Can you explain how you handled it?”

Ask them to transform their negative or disbelieving thoughts into positive ones. For example, changing “I can’t do this” to “I’ll give it my best shot, and it’s okay to get assistance once in a while” would be appropriate.

Ongoing homework rituals provide a sense of predictability. Understanding the time and conditions when homework occurs also alleviates anxiety and makes the process easier to deal with.

Stress the necessity of doing one’s best rather than being preoccupied with the result. It builds a growth mindset and allows one to fail forward.

Through the use of these coping mechanisms and support strategies, parents ensure that their children manage homework frustrations well, hence promoting not only academic advancement but important life skills as well.

Submit Your Answer

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When parents feel frustrated by homework

Kathryn Lee from Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence offers ideas on how to handle homework stress.

Learn more:

Think you’re frustrated? Watch this child explain how homework makes him feel .

Try any or all of these tips 7 helpful tips to get homework done with a minimum of tears .

Or maybe these 7 tips will work better for you and your child.

Deborah Tillman, known as “America’s Supernanny,” shares her homework strategies .

Here’s how Raising Happiness  author and child development expert Christine Carter responds when her kids say, “I hate homework!”

What does research say?  Does homework really help?

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How To Deal With Homework Frustrations

Does your child experience homework frustrations? Do you get frustrated when you help your child with their homework? Homework can be a challenging time for so many children and parents alike. You are not alone!  TutorTime has some tips for you. 

• Brainstorm ideas together – this will help with writing tasks, problem-solving and many other tasks. Even if you do not know the answers, brainstorm strategies, or approaches together to give your child somewhere to start from.
• Encourage your child to take regular brain breaks. This might mean doing a few star jumps or having a thirty-second dance party in between tasks. Research has shown that physical activity helps increase oxygen levels in the brain which helps us think better.
• Set a timer for each activity and schedule your brain breaks in between these work sessions.  In lower primary years this might be 10-15 minutes for a task, for older children this might be 20-30 minutes, adjust this based on your child’s needs.
• Limit distractions! If your child has a mobile phone, leave this in another room during homework time. Make sure the TV is off and any conversations not about homework are taken to another room. This may also mean that your child cannot do their homework in the kitchen or dining area if you are cooking at the same time. Smelling dinner could also be very distracting.
• Be positive! It can get very frustrating, especially if you know your child knows the answer to something or has learnt the concept before but yelling or getting annoyed does not help. Stay calm and be reassuring towards your child. Practice a growth mindset and help lead your child to the answer without simply giving it to them.
• Model doing homework. Wherever possible, try to sit at the table with your child and get on with some paperwork of your own while your child does his or her homework. This teaches your child focus and good homework behavior.
• Brain food. Encourage your child to have a brainy snack before starting on homework. Blueberries, Oranges, Dark Chocolate, Nuts, and Eggs are particularly good for promoting brain function.
• Reward your child with a fun activity once homework is completed. Try to avoid “free time” before homework. It is important to give them a short break such as having a snack, however, allowing your child to play outside or watch some TV before homework makes it much harder for them to switch back to learning mode. It would be more effective to give them a snack and have a chat about their day before homework and then reward them with free time or a fun activity afterward. 

If your child continues to struggle with his or her homework, give us a call and book a tutor to help your child with their homework and revision. 

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14 Ways To Deal With Frustration In A Positive Way

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Feeling frustrated is not a sensation that anyone would volunteer to experience.

Sure, it’s a natural human emotion that we’ll all feel at one time or another, but it’s not a pleasant one.

Frustration is something we experience when we’re in a situation that we’re powerless to change or when we are unable to achieve something.

We can also feel milder levels of frustration when we’ve not yet actually been defeated but the going gets tough and failure looks likely.

Somebody who’s frustrated might appear upset, annoyed, or angry, raging against what might seem like an unfair or impossible situation.

Do you remember that feeling when you were a child and an adult just wouldn’t believe that you didn’t pull your brother’s hair or that the dog really did eat your homework, even when you were (for once…) telling the truth, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to change their minds?

The situations you face in your adult life might be very different to these, but the frustration you feel is the same.

Whether it’s your professional or personal life, things are rarely straightforward, and we all come up against bumps in the road that make the journey difficult.

If there’s one thing that’s for sure, however, it’s that spending time feeling frustrated is time wasted.

After all, you’re worrying about something that you’re powerless to change, or perceive yourself to be powerless to change, and no amount of crying or raging is going to make a difference to that.

The 2 Types Of Frustration

There are two different types of frustration.

The first is internal. As the name might suggest, internal frustration comes from within.

It’s the result of challenges you might face with meeting the goals you’ve set yourself, fulfilling your desires, or even as a result of weak points that you perceive yourself to have, like anxiety in social situations or a phobia of something.

You might even experience internal frustration if your heart has various desires that don’t quite fit with one another, and you just can’t decide which to prioritize.

There is also external frustration. This is the kind of frustration you feel if you’re driving along a road and suddenly find it blocked.

But it is also what you experience when you’re facing a difficult task or are forced to wait around for something to happen.

Essentially, external frustration is caused by circumstances that are beyond your control but not related to the inner workings of your mind.

Of course, the two often go hand in hand, if you come up against an external factor that you can’t overcome due to some kind of internal limitation you perceive yourself to have.

14 Ways To Deal With Frustration

We’re all going to feel frustrated at one point or another, and we’re bound to feel angry or upset initially, but if you look at it in the right way, you can put a positive spin on many frustrating situations.

1. Take a minute to breathe.

When you can feel yourself getting frustrated with a situation, take a moment to sit back and breathe before you do anything else.

Don’t react immediately, but give yourself a chance to calm down so that you’re more able to make a rational decision about how best to move forwards.

You’ve probably heard this advice a million times, but don’t dismiss it. A few deep breaths can make a world of difference.

2. Talk about it.

Keeping your feelings bottled is not going to help. Find a sympathetic ear and express them.

Having to put your frustrations into words will help you understand what’s going on inside your head.

There are two kinds of people you can talk to, and both kinds will be able to give you a very different insight.

Someone who has no connection with, and little knowledge of, the situation can be great as they can look at the picture you paint more subjectively and come up with a fresh angle on it which might never have occurred to you.

On the flip side, somebody who knows exactly what’s going on and is very knowledgeable about whatever it is you’re up against can also be good to talk to, as they’ll understand the intricacies and may have knowledge or experience that can be of use to you. 

If in doubt, try speaking to someone from each category.

If you really don’t feel comfortable talking about it with anyone, try writing it down instead, so you are at least putting how you feel into words.

3. Get curious about it.

When those feelings of frustration arise, ask yourself why this particular situation has got you feeling the way it has.

Try to trace the cause of the frustration back to its root, and you might be surprised by what you discover.

For example, perhaps you are sitting in a traffic jam on your way home from work. Frustrating? Of course. But is your frustration actually related to the fact that you’ll miss your kid’s bedtime… again?

Or perhaps you are struggling to learn a musical instrument you’d like to be able to play. Is it a perceived lack of musical ability that’s got you irate, or are you annoyed at yourself for not practicing as much as you know you need to?

The better you can understand your frustration, the more you’ll be able to address it and cope with it.

Be honest with yourself about whether the way you’re approaching it really is the best way.

4. Release it.

Sometimes frustration just has to be let out.

Find somewhere secluded and scream and shout to your heart’s content. Or exercise until you think your heart might burst. Release all that pent-up energy.

If you want to, cry. You’ll feel much better afterwards, I can promise you that.

Once you’ve vented, you’ll be better placed to handle the frustration caused by the situation and to move on to a more positive or empowered state of mind.

5. Change your perspective on it.

You can put a different spin on pretty much anything in this life if you look at it from a different angle.

It’s easier said than done, but you can decide to view your frustrating situation as a chance to grow and learn, or a challenge to be relished.

Identify what’s gone right as well as what’s gone wrong and focus on the good bits, viewing the mistakes as merely essential and useful lessons you had to learn along the way.

6. Meditate on it.

Meditation can help in two ways. Firstly, a very short practice of just a few minutes can really help to calm you down in the moment.

But the real power comes from a more in-depth meditation at some point later on. By spending some time in quiet reflection about what happened and why you felt the way you did about it, you can prevent yourself from getting so worked up so easily should a similar situation occur again.

It’s good to perform this meditation on the same day as the thing that got you frustrated as you’ll be better able to tune into the feelings you experienced.

7. Distract yourself from it.

If the source of your anger and annoyance is ongoing, you’ll want to take your mind off it if possible. The less mental energy you give to something, the less it affects you.

So ask yourself if there is something you could do that would distract you from whatever is going on?

Could you listen to some music at high volume? Could you read a book? Could you watch some stand-up comedy? Could you get out and do some gardening?

Of course, this all depends on where you happen to be at the time. It’s much easier to distract yourself at home than it is, for example, at work or when you’re driving. 

8. Manage your expectations.

It’s easy to get frustrated when your reality doesn’t match your expectations. If you have a vision of how things are or were supposed to go, and they actually go very differently, it can make your emotions run high.

So to stop feeling frustrated to begin with, you can try to have more realistic expectations. That goes for people as much as it does for events. You can neither dictate how someone will act or how something will pan out.

In fact, it’s often better to approach life with as few expectations as possible. They are very rarely helpful in any way, and can often be detrimental to our emotional well-being when they are unreasonable.

9. Accept your limitations.

If your frustration is internal, it may relate to your inability to do something. This relates to the expectations we just spoke of in that you are raging against the unrealistic expectation that you could do a particular thing.

You might see it as a failure, or that you are lacking in some way. But you have to give yourself a break. No one can do everything, and no one has all the answers.

If you don’t want to get frustrated with yourself, you must accept that your abilities are limited. It doesn’t help to bang your head against the wall trying to find a way to do something that is beyond your expertise.

If it’s getting you this riled up, you’d be better off hiring someone else to do the thing for you. That way, it gets done, and it gets done right.

Even when it comes to your hobbies or your physical capabilities, you need to know where to draw the line in terms of what you can do. Perhaps you’ve reached your peak in terms of performance. Maybe you need to take a step back and try to simply enjoy a thing for what it is rather than being too competitive with others or yourself.

10. Write about it.

It can be difficult to let go of something that has you all worked up. Anger and frustration have a way of fuelling thoughts so that they circle around and around in your mind, rather than allowing them to drift away.

This rumination can be prevented by getting all of your thoughts and feelings out of your head. And a good way to do that is by writing them down on paper.

Quite often we can’t let go of a thought because we think we’ll forget about it – whether that’s a possible future solution to our woes, or an opinion you’d like to express to someone. But once you’ve written those things down, you give your mind permission to forget them.

Performing a brain dump is also a good way to organize your thoughts. If there are lots of moving pieces to the irritating situation, you might not be able to stop thinking about it because your thoughts are a jumbled mess. If you can write everything out, you can better link things together and gain clarity of mind, not to mention peace of mind.

11. Let go of control.

Your sphere of influence – the things you have some level of control over – is far smaller than you think. It pales in comparison to everything that sits outside of that sphere.

This is important because you can rage against the world all you like, but it’s not going to give a crap. It doesn’t bend to your will or play your game. Most of the time, stuff just happens to us and around us, and we have to react to it. We don’t get to decide how it goes.

If there’s something you can’t change, you have to make a conscious decision to accept it – at least at the current time. Perhaps you can do something in the future, but you can think about that in the future.

Right now, you have to release the grip you have on it, or rather, the grip you think you have on it.

In Japanese, there’s the phrase “Shouganai” which translates as “It cannot be helped.” It’s a nice little phrase worth remembering in those times where you have zero power to change things.

12. Focus on the big picture.

Sometimes, we find it hard not to feel frustrated because our minds are inflexible in the moment that feeling arises. We are pig-headedly stuck in a very specific way of thinking. We might try to force something which has no real chance of happening.

Instead, we need to step back and find a different way to do or see things.

What was the original goal that you had in mind when you set out on the journey that led you to this roadblock, or dead end?

Refocus your energies on getting there in a different way, rather than continuing to bang your head against a brick wall.

Ask yourself what you need to happen differently so that you reach that goal this time, and make a new plan to get yourself there.

Or, if it wasn’t a missed goal that led to your frustration, but a situation that didn’t go as you hoped, ask whether it will really matter in 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month.

Chances are, at some point soon, you’ll look back and wonder why you got so worked up over it in the first place.

13. Take action.

If there’s one thing that’s for sure, there’s absolutely no sense procrastinating, as it will only make you feel worse.

Once you’ve calmed down and got a rational head on your shoulders, make sure you take the first step on the new path you’ve planned out sooner rather than later so that you don’t stagnate.

The more you put it off, the more daunting it will seem.

Spending your time worrying is essentially another form of procrastination. You can’t take any steps forward whilst you’re worrying about the steps you’ve taken that have got you to that point.

There’s an old Irish proverb that goes “You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind,” and never a truer word was spoken.

Take the lessons you’ve learned and move forwards a wiser person.

14. Avoid lashing out at others.

When you’re frustrated or angry, it can disable both your reasoning and your compassion. This makes it more likely that you’ll turn those feelings toward the people around you.

So you must try with all of your might to stop your temper from getting the better of you.

Even if it is other people you are annoyed at because they have done something (or not done something) that has caused you problems, you should try to cool down before you approach them.

If you don’t, you run the risk of heated conflict and upset feelings, both of which will likely prolong the situation that’s frustrating you.

You may also like:

• 20 Healthy Coping Skills: Strategies To Ease Negative Emotions
• 7 Simple Steps To Not Let Things Bother You
• How To Channel Your Anger And Release It In A Healthy Way
• 9 Things To Do When You Feel Defeated Or Discouraged
• What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way: 10 No Nonsense Tips
• What Is Locus Of Control? And Is Internal Or External Better?
• 6 Key Things You Can Do To Find Inner Peace

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About The Author

Katie is a writer and translator with a focus on travel, self-care and sustainability. She's based between a cave house in Granada, Spain, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England. She spends her free time hiking, exploring, eating vegan tapas and volunteering for a local dog shelter.

8 Strategies to Manage Overwhelming Feelings

Try these tips to keep calm and carry on..

Posted May 20, 2020 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

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At some point, many of my clients—especially the high-achieving, hard-work-can-make-it-happen ones—experience a tipping point at work. As if their brain has blown a fuse, they find themselves mindlessly clicking a retractable pen for minutes at a time, or frantically scrolling through documents without even really reading them. Even if their minds tell them they need to check off everything on their to-do list, they’re paralyzed by indecision. Their brain’s power grid is overloaded, so the result is like summer in the city when everyone’s running an air conditioner—the lights flicker, and then go out.

Sound familiar? Functioning isn’t so simple when you’re overwhelmed.

It may seem silly: Why would you let a to-do list hijack your brain? But it’s actually pretty simple—your brain doesn’t just see a to-do list, it sees the threat of scarcity: not enough time, not enough energy, not enough magical ability to fit everything into 24 hours. Or it sees the threat of failing, the threat of disappointing others, the threat of feeling like you’re not doing enough.

And we react to these feelings the same way we do with other threats: fight, flight, or freeze. That's true whether the threat is a bus hurtling toward us or a to-do list that makes us feel like we can’t catch our breath.

Usually, we land somewhere between freeze and flight, which shows up as procrastination . But not all procrastination looks the same. It can take more or less productive forms, from binge-watching Friends to doing tasks that don’t really matter, like buying yet another novelty mug online or scrolling through Twitter. Again.

So what should you do if you’re overwhelmed, paralyzed, or procrastinating? After you’ve worked your way through the classic trifecta of go-for-a-walk, take-deep-breaths, and approach-the-mess-with- gratitude , try these eight tips.

1. Ground yourself in the present using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique.

This is one of my favorite mindfulness techniques. It doesn’t require any special spaces or tools—all you need is your five senses. Here's how to walk your way through them for instant grounding:

• 5 - Look around and name five things you can see, right now, from where you are.
• 4 - Listen and name four things you can hear.
• 3 - Notice three things you can touch, like the pages of a nearby book or the feeling of your feet on the carpet.
• 2 - Next come two smells: Breathe in the pages of a book or the citrus scent of the candle you lit.
• 1 - Finally, name something you can taste: a sip of cold water will do, or even just the taste of your own mouth.

This does not one, but two things to interrupt the overwhelm. First, it grounds you in your senses and, more importantly, the present moment. Second, keeping track of the counting and working your way through your senses interrupts spinning thoughts. It’s a mini moment of mindfulness to pull you out of the fray.

2. Clean up your immediate surroundings.

The phrase “outer order, inner calm” is popular for a reason. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, tidying the area around you restores order to a little corner of your universe and allows you to move forward.

I’m not telling you to go all Marie Kondo on your office. Restrict yourself to things within arm’s reach. Stack loose papers, put caps on rogue pens, wipe away dust or grime. The resulting order will help you feel like you’ve accomplished something and allow you to focus on the task at hand, not the clutter.

3. Ruthlessly prioritize.

Cut everything that should be done and stick to things that need to get done now.

4. Stop accidentally multitasking

We know multitasking isn’t really a thing and that it doesn’t work: Our brains aren’t designed to do two or three tasks at once. Instead, we end up moving back and forth among our various tasks, leaving us with the mental equivalent of whiplash, and getting little done in reality.

Unintentional multitasking counts, too. Trying to work from home and simultaneously keep an eye on the kids, holding a conversation while the TV is on, eating lunch at your desk, leaving your email open while you work, or simply keeping your smartphone at hand 24/7 are examples of things that force you to transition your attention (and then transition it back) hundreds of times a day.

Multitasking works about as well as texting while driving—which is to say, it doesn’t. So if your nerves are frayed, mend them by doing a singular thing at a time. When you’re feeling less frantic, you can go back to googling the results of The Bachelor while making a sandwich. But until then, single-task, single-task, single-task.

5. Take the next tiny step.

When you feel frozen in the proverbial headlights of your task, think only of the next tiny step. The next step can be ridiculously small—only you have to know that you’re inching forward by thinking “Okay, now click on the folder. Now open the document. Now start reading.”

6. Follow your impulses (sort of).

When you’re working on something less-than-fun, it’s easy to get distracted by every little thing. You have a song stuck in your head and have the urge to pull it up on Spotify. You remember you promised you’d make pizza tonight and find yourself scrolling through recipes hours before a major work deadline.

But instead of following every little impulse, which can pull you into a vortex of procrastination, keep a sticky note next to you and jot down your impulses as you have them: "How tall is Jimmy Fallon?” “Best Wicked parodies” “How long would it take to get to Mars?”

Just unloading the thought, even if you don’t follow through on the impulse to find the answer, can be enough to vanquish it. Feeling extra confident? Rather than writing it down, just think it. Sometimes just acknowledging the impulse is enough to make it go away.

7. Rethink your to-do list.

Keeping a to-do list (and a I don’t mean a drawer full of crumpled sticky notes and haphazardly dashed off notes on cocktail napkins) is the most important lesson from Organization 101. But if you’re overwhelmed, looking at a long list of tasks can be daunting. Time for a to-do list makeover!

There are a thousand ways to bring more order to your long string of tasks. For one, chunk like with like: put all your phone calls together, or all your writing tasks together. Chunking makes a long list more cohesive, more efficient, and by extension, less overwhelming.

Another method: Write out your list in accordance with your schedule. Plan big projects for the morning when you have the most energy and focus. Schedule brainless tasks for the 3 p.m. slump.

8. Radically accept what you cannot do or control.

You can strategize, organize, and hack all you want, but at some point, you will run into something you can’t do or control. When you do, the only thing to do is to radically accept.

Radical acceptance doesn’t mean throwing in the towel. It means allowing for uncertainty and uncontrollability, without struggle or complaint, and keeping on with what you can do instead of dwelling on what you can't.

When you get behind the wheel, you radically accept that a reckless driver may hit you no matter how well you drive. Yet you still do it because you want to get from point A to B quickly. When you fall in love, you radically accept that your heart may get trampled on. Yet you do anyway because love is worth the risk. When you simply can’t meet a deadline without compromising your mental health, you can radically accept that you'll have to be late and that you may disappoint someone, because your well-being is worth it.

This post originally appeared on Quick and Dirty Tips titled Feeling Overwhelmed? Here Are 8 Remedies .

LinkedIn Image: Roman Samborskyi/Shuttestock. Facebook image: fizkes/Shutterstock

Jade Wu, Ph.D., is a clinical health psychologist and host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast. She specializes in helping those with sleep problems and anxiety disorders.

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How to Cope With Frustration

Last Updated: October 7, 2023 References

This article was co-authored by Rahti Gorfien, PCC . Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018. There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 921,518 times.

Everyone is familiar with feelings of frustration, whether stemming from your efforts falling short of achieving a set of goals or someone else's efforts failing to meet your expectations or needs. Coping with frustration is all about recognizing the sources that trigger the feeling and using the proper techniques to choose a different emotional response.

Coping with Acute Instances of Frustration

• Do you get frustrated when you are forced to wait and do nothing? For example, traffic jams or waiting in a check-out line.
• Do you get frustrated when people do not meet your personal expectations or disrupt your work? For instance, someone sending you a text or email that throws off your day.
• Do you get frustrated with difficult problems? For instance, does difficult homework tend to provoke an outburst?

• For example, keep your phone on silent when you need to work without disruption or get up and take a break from a difficult work or school assignment if you can feel it building toward an outbreak of frustration.
• If you simply cannot avoid the trigger, try your best to realize that triggers are themselves thought patterns that you can choose to allow or not despite how hard it is to change them. [3] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Once triggered, take time to think rather than reacting impulsively.

• Accept the limitations of others. For instance, say you have a friend who is always late for everything but is otherwise a great friend. Manage your expectation by realizing that you simply cannot make your friend show up on time, but you can control what you invite her to. If you know that punctuality is one of your triggers, then avoid putting her in situations where promptness is an issue.
• Cultivate your own self-sufficiency. Feeling helpless may be overcome by setting and working on goals in whatever may be important to you. So, is your frustration due to something you could take on yourself as a short term goal? For example, if you are frustrated with how your roommate doesn't take out the trash though previously agreed, maybe you should just take it out yourself rather than simmer in hostility. Then ask the other person to do a different chore instead.
• Avoid perfectionism in dealing with people. People can be frustrating when they do not act consistently. But that is simply being human - humans are not robots or computers. That can be disappointing, but accepting that the other is not perfect, (and neither are you) is important in dealing with people.

Rahti Gorfien, PCC

Anger and frustration are signs you need to set boundaries. You might get angry or frustrated with a friend or family member, and those feelings can signal that it's time to set boundaries with the person. This type of frustration is good because it's important to know what your limits in a relationship are.

• Are things really as I perceive them? What might I be missing here?
• Will what happened now matter in a day? A week? A year?
• Can I express my concerns without hostility?
• Is there information I am trying to share?
• Am I as interested in seeing the situation clearly as I am in my own reaction or being "right"?
• Am I interested in the other person's needs? Can we cooperate?

• For instance, say you're saving for a new car but have to take some money from the fund to fix your current car. Instead of fixating on not getting the new vehicle when you'd want, remind yourself that it will only set you back a month or two and that you will overcome the obstacle.

wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have Anger Issues?

The person in front of you in line is taking a super long time. how are you feeling.

I’m totally cool! I’m sure they’ll be done soon.

It’s a little annoying, but it’s not the end of the world.

I can’t lie—I’m pretty frustrated.

I’m so done. Hurry it up, will you?!

Coping with Long-Term Frustration

• Setting a goal for training or eduction requires action/starting. You may apply and start at a community college and transfer to a 4-year college if that will work for you plan.
• Saving to buy a better "cash-car" can answer needs, but now and then you have to take some money from the fund for upkeep on your older car. Instead of worrying about not using all your savings for the newer vehicle, tell yourself that it will only take a month or two to catch up to your savings goal.
• Working on goals for lifestyle-routine can buoy you from a sunken feeling, even developing new hobbies can help with long-standing frustration. [8] X Trustworthy Source American Institute of Stress Non-profit organization providing resources on stress-management in education, research, clinical care, and the workplace. Go to source If you're having trouble allowing yourself to indulge in a hobby rather than work all the time, choose something that has a pragmatic side, such as learning how to make your own bread, soap, clothing, etc. You may find inner/intangible as well as real-world benefits in learning to master one or more of them. [9] X Research source Fields, Rick. (1984). Chop Wood, Carry Water: A Guide to Finding Spiritual Fulfillment in Everyday Life

Learn to accept things for how they are. Until you can accept the way things are, even if they're not okay with you, you can't deal with your anger and frustration constructively. Once you come to terms with the situation and that you can't change it, you can start to manage and change your feelings.

• If you aren't able to take an exercise break while working on a frustrating task, take a shorter break to practice deep breathing or meditation instead.

• Remove needless distractions. Whether you are easily distracted, or tend to distract yourself to put off doing a task, take charge of your attention. Turn off your phone, other electronic devices, or the internet, unless required for the specific task you are working on. Clear your work area of all unnecessary items.
• Set your own reasonable, hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, semester and yearly goals, and even mini-deadlines for some personal rewards.
• Getting through with unpleasant or difficult tasks can strengthen your motivation to turn that success to say" "Now, I'll work hard on my own goals" . Add additional reasons to get going, with a positive spin, by rewarding yourself with a healthy snack, good entertainment, or other reward on the condition that you meet a mini-deadline within the hour, or by the end of the day.

• Stay focused on the steps of one task/idea at a time. Stop multitasking/lacking focus on your present effort. Multitasking almost always makes each task more difficult and easier to avoid, even if you personally think you are good at it. [15] X Research source Instead of working on two tasks concurrently, alternate between them if they're frustrating.
• Consider alternating between "competing" projects to avoid hitting a wall of frustration while staying productive on both. Spend thirty to sixty minutes on each one with five-minute breaks in between.
• If your job is causing severe stress and frustration, consider a vacation, take a sabbatical, or even look into changing jobs .

• Be careful of comparing life to media. In movies and TV, plots are often clear, and easily wrapped up by the credits. Everyone tends to be young, gorgeous, and glamorous. But in real life, rarely if ever is this the case. If you are spending a lot of time consuming media, you will likely get a very skewed sense of the world.
• Ask others about their struggles in life. The best mirror of reality tends to be friends, family, and peers. Their struggles--jobs, school, romances, family--are likely similar to yours. By talking to them about goals, progress, barriers, and overcoming them, you can get a sense that others are in a similar situation. This can help produce a clearer reality.

• Thinking about what could have happened or what you wish your life was like. [16] X Research source
• Spending hours on a task that is neither enjoyable or productive, such as watching a television show you don't like.
• Sitting and doing nothing at all.

Dealing with Frustration in a Relationship or Friendship

• Try to agree with the person at the outset that you'll both stay focused on the issue at hand.

• For instance, if you're having a relationship fight, make it a point not to interrupt the person. Allow him or her to finish a point before responding and consider your response rather than going with your gut reaction.

• For instance, if a friend says that you never make time for her, repeat it back and ask, “Do you really think that I never make time for you?” This can allow the friend to hear the complaint as you did.

• Avoid passive-aggressive behavior , such as hiding your real emotions or insulting someone behind his or her back.
• Avoid sarcasm or insults during this discussion, even as a joke.

• For example, don't say, ”You never take out the trash!” Instead try, “You take out the trash less often than we agreed.”

• If you're frustrated that the friend hasn't repaid a debt, for instance, see if you can compromise with a payment plan rather than just simply being frustrated that you can't get all of the money back at once.

• Using the same example of frustration over a friend owing you money, tell the friend how much it means that he has agreed to a payment plan or even agreed to sit down and talk about it again when he might be able to enter a payment agreement. By validating the friend's effort, you're more likely to see future cooperation.

Expert Q&A

• If you are not certain what is causing the frustration, seek the advice of a trusted friend, mentor, counselor, or therapist. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1
• When you are truly mad, scream in a pillow. If these thing don't help, try anger management classes, or talk about you anger with an important person in your life. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 1
• If you can, focus on things that bring you joy. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1

• Alcohol and other drugs are not successful or healthy long-term coping mechanisms. Thanks Helpful 9 Not Helpful 3
• Never cope with frustration, by breaking things or hurting people. It is going to lead you into trouble. Thanks Helpful 7 Not Helpful 3

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• ↑ Dodes, Lance (2002) The Heart of Addiction: A New Approach to Understanding and Managing Alcoholism and Other Addictive Behaviors (NY: William Morrow).
• ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/anger-management.htm
• ↑ Pally, Regina. (2000). The Mind Brain Relationship. (International Journal of Psychoanalysis Key Paper Series). NY: Other Press.
• ↑ http://www.stress.org/take-a-deep-breath/
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201410/accept-them-they-are
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201301/cortisol-why-the-stress-hormone-is-public-enemy-no-1
• ↑ http://www.stress.org/management-tips/
• ↑ Fields, Rick. (1984). Chop Wood, Carry Water: A Guide to Finding Spiritual Fulfillment in Everyday Life
• ↑ http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/writings-work.htm
• ↑ http://www.life-with-confidence.com/frustration.html
• ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1470658/
• ↑ https://pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/es903183r?journalCode=esthag
• ↑ http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm
• ↑ http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/01/24/170160105/if-you-think-youre-good-at-multitasking-you-probably-arent
• ↑ http://www.dragosroua.com/33-ways-to-overcome-frustration/
• ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201202/4-tips-deal-frustrating-people
• ↑ http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201202/4-tips-deal-frustrating-people

About This Article

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

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To cope with frustration, start by taking a deep breath, counting to 4 as you inhale, then counting to 4 as you exhale. Continue breathing deeply until you feel calm. If you’re dealing with frustration with another person, step away until you’ve calmed down long enough to have a productive discussion. Then, have an open and honest talk, staying focused only on the issue that’s frustrating you. Make sure that you give the other person a chance to be heard, then try to reach a compromise. For more tips, like how to change your perspective to deal with frustration, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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