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Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using "I" statements — to stay in control.

Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a common and even healthy emotion. But it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.

Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Also allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you're calm, express your concerns

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run. Or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room make you upset? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening. Or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Also, understand that some things are simply out of your control. Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot change. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

6. Stick with 'I' statements

Criticizing or placing blame might only increase tension. Instead, use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Forgiving someone who angered you might help you both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger can be a challenge at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.

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• Kassinove H, et al. Happiness. In: The Practitioner's Guide to Anger Management: Customizable Interventions, Treatments, and Tools for Clients With Problem Anger. Kindle edition. New Harbinger Publications; 2019. Accessed March 11, 2022.
• Understanding anger: How psychologists help with anger problems. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/understanding. Accessed March 11, 2022.
• Controlling anger before it controls you. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control. Accessed March 11, 2022.
• Tips for survivors: Coping with anger after a disaster or other traumatic event. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. https://store.samhsa.gov/product/tips-survivors-coping-anger-after-disaster-or-other-traumatic-event/pep19-01-01-002. Accessed March 11, 2022.
• Caring for your mental health. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health. Accessed March 11, 2022.
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Managing Anger: Tips, Techniques, and Tools

3 skills that can help people learn to better control their anger..

Posted April 21, 2021 | Reviewed by Chloe Williams

• How Can I Manage My Anger?
• Find a therapist to heal from anger
• Anger is a strong negative emotion that prepares us to fight or confront our enemies.
• Although it's normal to feel angry at times, over-expressing anger or suppressing it can be detrimental to relationships and health.
• Some tips for managing anger include journaling to better understand what causes anger, reframing angry thoughts and practicing being assertive.

What Is Anger?

Anger is a strong negative emotion that arises as a result of what we perceive to be a threat or unfair treatment that blocks our goals. This had led some psychologists to propose that anger is simply our response when our "approach motivation "—or pursuit of good things—is blocked (Carver & Harmon-Jones, 2009). Anger is usually directed at others, includes increased physiological activation, and involves changes in our thought processes.

Although anger is considered to be a negative emotion , historical records suggest that it is normal to get at least mildly angry a few times per day to a few times per week (Berkowitz & Harmon-Jones, 2004). That leaves us with a lot of anger floating around. So how do we manage it?

The Importance of Managing Anger

Many negative emotions—emotions like sadness, shame , or fear —make us want to run and hide. But not anger. Anger makes us want to approach—to fight or confront our enemies. That makes anger a unique negative emotion. It's important that we manage it so that we don't over-express our anger, but we also have to be careful not to suppress our anger, as that can be bad for us too. Anger appears to be most beneficial when managed and expressed in a controlled, positive manner.

Anger emotions to manage might include:

• Frustration

​Each of these emotions is thought to be closely related to anger and we may tend towards expressing some of these emotions more than others.

Managing Anger Out

When we think of a cartoon character with a bright red face and steam shooting out of his ears, we are thinking of "anger out." This type of anger is expressed outwardly. Anger out can lead to challenges in personal relationships and at work. Who wants to be around someone who is yelling and irritable all the time? Anger management may be needed when anger is too frequent, too intense, too prolonged, or managed ineffectively.

Managing Anger In

When we think about managing anger, we don't usually think about the people who suppress anger. Even if they are fuming from being poked, prodded, and tormented, they don't respond with anger. Anger suppression, or "anger in," can also have negative consequences. "Anger in" is related to increased hypertension while anger out is not (Hosseini et al., 2011).

What Triggers Anger?

Research suggests that an attitude of hostility, resentment, and suspiciousness may be related to increased anger (Fives, Kong, Fuller, & DiGiuseppe, 2011). Two other cognitions that lead to anger include awfulizing—or imagining a situation to be as bad as it can possibly be—and low frustration tolerance (Martin & Dahlen, 2004).

Another study among women found that anger was most often triggered by violations of personal values, feelings of powerlessness, and disrespectful treatment. The researchers suggested that women often feel anger when they want something to change, but are unable to make it so or even get people to listen to them. But in this study, women were able to regain a sense of power when using anger to restore justice, respect, and relationship reciprocity (Thomas, Smucker, & Droppleman, 1998).

Anger Management Training

Anger management is generally taught in the classroom. The goal is to share information, provide new perspectives, and help people practice anger management strategies. This approach provides the backdrop to help people empathize, provide feedback, and role-play conflicts.

To manage anger, we likely each benefit from different strategies. For example, those who express their anger too much may need to develop cognitive skills for reframing their experiences and regulating their emotions . On the flip side, those who suppress their anger may need to learn how to communicate their anger more directly.

Techniques for Managing Anger

1. Keep an anger journal: Journaling may help you better understand where your anger comes from and the thought processes that spiral it out of control. So, in your journal, try to explore what it is exactly that is triggering your anger. What thoughts are you having? What emotions are you having? What could you do to resolve your anger?

2. Manage angry thoughts: Try reframing your anger in ways that help you change the things that are bothering you.

3. Speak up for yourself: Practice being assertive , negotiating for yourself, and setting boundaries to reduce feelings of powerlessness.

Anger can be an intense emotion, but it can also be managed. Hopefully, these insights and tips will help you move in the right direction.

Adapted from an article published by The Berkeley Well-Being Institute .

Berkowitz, L., & Harmon-Jones, E. (2004). Toward an understanding of the determinants of anger. Emotion, 4(2), 107.

Carver, C. S., & Harmon-Jones, E. (2009). Anger is an approach-related affect: evidence and implications. Psychological bulletin, 135(2), 183.

​Fives, C. J., Kong, G., Fuller, J. R., & DiGiuseppe, R. (2011). Anger, aggression, and irrational beliefs in adolescents. Cognitive therapy and research, 35(3), 199-208.

​Martin, R. C., & Dahlen, E. R. (2004). Irrational beliefs and the experience and expression of anger. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 22(1), 3-20.

Hosseini, S. H., Mokhberi, V., Mohammadpour, R. A., Mehrabianfard, M., & Lashak, N. B. (2011). Anger expression and suppression among patients with essential hypertension. International journal of psychiatry in clinical practice, 15(3), 214-218.

Thomas, S., Smucker, C., & Droppleman, P. (1998). It hurts most around the heart: A phenomenological exploration of women’s anger. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 28(2), 311-322

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. , is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology.

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7 Anger management strategies to keep your emotions in check

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How anger affects your life

How anger management is helpful, anger management strategies, for the future: recognizing anger as a normal emotion.

The most stressful year in recent history was 2021. 

Gallup found negative emotions reached a record high in 2020, with 2 in 5 adults experiencing daily worry or stress and 1 in 4 adults experiencing daily anger. And while the COVID-19 pandemic was the major contributor, Gallup found that negative feelings have increased across the world population for nearly a decade.

Then, in 2021, people had more worry than the year before — but only 23% reported experiencing anger as recently or frequently.  

While some things are out of our control, we do have the power to improve our emotional regulation and try to manage this negativity — especially anger. No matter how much irritation or frustration you feel, anger management strategies could help you lower your stress and maintain a positive outlook.  

Learning healthy ways to control your anger will positively impact your wellness and relationships — so let’s start by talking about the role that anger plays in your life.

Anger’s impact on your life depends on how well you control it. If you tend to get angry and lash out, yelling at your loved ones or colleagues, anger could be straining your relationships and harming your social and mental health.

But if you’re able to take a few deep breaths, calm yourself down , and communicate your frustrations, anger will help you improve your emotional intelligence and self-awareness .  

Because anger is a stress response, it can also harm your physical health. When something triggers your anger, your body floods with cortisol and adrenaline to activate your fight-or-flight and prepare for conflict.

Being constantly frustrated or irritated means an increased presence of these stress hormones in your body , which can lead to high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and more . 

Here are ways that anger affects different aspects of your life:

Your health and wellness

• It leads to cardiovascular issues like coronary heart disease, heart attacks, and strokes
• Encourages you to adopt unhealthy habits and addictions like excessive alcohol consumption and substance abuse
• Causes high blood pressure and heart rate
• Increases your risk of developing type 2 diabetes

Your personal life

• It can act as a red flag for others who wish to avoid your low emotional regulation
• Lowers your self-esteem and sense of self-worth 
• Ruins relationships with family members, children, and friends
• Makes people afraid or nervous in your presence
• Creates negative thought cycles  

Your workplace

• Makes it difficult to work collaboratively with others
• Distracts you from your work 
• Poorly impacts your work performance
• Creates a toxic work environment

While these are all negative attributes of anger, it has some positive benefits, too. In the right context, anger can act as “ good stress ” and offer you the following benefits:

• Motivating you to meet a deadline or show your worth
• Prompting reflection on boundaries and behaviors
• Increasing self-awareness 
• Helping you identify your values 

Uncontrolled anger can overwhelm your system and harm your physical, social, and mental health. Learning how to manage your anger doesn’t mean you won’t feel angry anymore; it means that when you feel angry, you’ll know how to manage the emotion and neutralize its negative effects.

Channeling that negative energy into exercise or taking the time to calm yourself before trying to communicate will mitigate the consequences of unchecked anger. 

Here are four ways anger management skills benefit you:

• Helps to identify the source of your anger: Anger management makes you reflect on where your anger comes from. It strengthens your self-awareness and gives you insight into some of your anger's warning signs. For example, does your anger come from different types of stress , work, or miscommunications at home?
• Aims to control your feelings, not suppress them: Suppressing anger may cause it to manifest in physical symptoms or behavioral effects like increased irritability, reduced empathy, and an even shorter temper. Even if it feels bad, learning to sit with your feelings is important for improving your emotional regulation skills . If you can let yourself feel your anger, you’ll be better able to pinpoint what triggered the negative reaction. From there, you can express your emotions in a healthy way instead of reacting in the heat of the moment.
• Improves your relationships: When you know how to control your anger and express it properly, you’ll notice the positive impact on your relationships. You’ll see that problem-solving with others is smoother, and you’re better at communicating your thoughts and feelings.
• Helps you live in the present: You could feel angry or resentful toward something that happened in your past or anxious about something you’ll have to do in the future. But anger management skills help you slow down to focus on the here and now. You’ll let go of past and future worries to focus on the present.

It’s not easy to learn how to calm down when angry. But rather than letting your feelings bubble over or stewing in your anger, learning anger management can help you harness the feeling into something productive.

Here are seven anger management tips to try next time you’re feeling the heat:

1. Think before the words come out

Thinking about your words before you say them helps you resolve conflict in a healthy, respectful way. What will happen if you say the words that jump to your mind first? How would you feel if someone said them to you? Thinking about the other person’s feelings, your relationship, and how you can focus on moving forward will help you prevent turning molehills into mountains.

2. Step away from the action

If your anger is becoming uncontrollable, or you need time to think alone, consider walking away. Some situations simply become too overwhelming to slow down, and you need to take a step back.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Take this time to do some deep breathing, examine how you’re feeling, and think about your next move. This isn’t to say that you should run away from whatever makes you angry, but taking a moment to pause will give you greater clarity as your anger subsides.

3. Practice relaxation techniques

Angry feelings spreading throughout your body make it difficult to find a sense of calm. There are lots of different relaxation techniques to try, so stick to the one that resonates with you most.

Try listening to music , practicing meditation, or using progressive muscle relaxation techniques . It might take some trial and error, but learning how to relax your body while you’re angry will help you return to a state where you can regain control over yourself.

4. Identify your triggers

Have you ever thought about what made you angry? It might seem obvious — like someone saying something rude or breaking your favorite mug — but what’s the real meaning behind it? Understanding your triggers will help you plan ahead.

You’ll learn if certain places, circumstances, or people are the source of your anger and what to try to avoid. If it’s something you’re forced to confront, like a toxic coworker, remember this person frustrates you. Try to focus on taking deep breaths and limiting your interactions to protect your peace. 

5. Move your body

Feelings of anger rush through your body. You have all this energy, but what will you do with it? Studies have found that people who exercise regularly have higher control of their anger than those who don’t.

Exercise means moving your body, whether that’s going for a brisk walk, doing some yoga, or swimming. Whatever helps you move your body will help you manage your anger.

6. Inject some humor into the situation

Some situations welcome a good laugh. Humor helps to relieve tension and gives you a different perspective on the situation. You might be angry that you spilled your drink over yourself. Rather than stay angry, find a positive outlook and laugh at your mistake.

Just remember that you’ll need to be mindful when choosing this technique. Laughter and jokes aren’t always the most appropriate or respectful reactions to certain situations. Read the room, and decide if making a joke is the best option at the moment.

7. Seek professional help

Asking for help is something you should never be ashamed of. If your anger becomes too much for you and you struggle to keep up, consider talking to a mental health professional .

They’ll be able to suggest strategies that may work best for you. You might discover that your anger issues are linked to other mental health conditions or learn helpful coping methods with a therapist’s help.

Anyone can benefit from anger management strategies. Anger isn’t a toxic trait or something you should feel ashamed of experiencing. It’s a universal emotion that might make an appearance at work, on vacation, or on your commute home. And in the heat of the moment, it may seem easiest to express anger without thinking about it.

Anger management techniques will help you learn how to control anger, which is an investment in your physical and mental health. They help you express your anger in healthy ways and teach you to be mindful of how your feelings impact others. Remember to view anger as a normal feeling and express it in ways that make you feel in control.

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With over 15 years of content experience, Allaya Cooks Campbell has written for outlets such as ScaryMommy, HRzone, and HuffPost. She holds a B.A. in Psychology and is a certified yoga instructor as well as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. Allaya is passionate about whole-person wellness, yoga, and mental health.

Purpose of the emotion anger: how anger can actually be helpful

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14 Anger Management Techniques To Promote Calm

Anger is a natural, healthy emotion and can be a healthy response to some situations. However, it can be the behaviors motivated by anger that may be unhealthy or unhelpful. If your anger feels uncontrollable or you often act out when angry, you may benefit from adopting research-based anger management techniques .

These techniques may benefit those who feel angry easily or whose anger grows disproportionately more prominent than the situation causing it. Some anger management techniques may be possible to complete on the go or in the moment to calm yourself immediately before acting. Others might help you prevent your anger from occurring. Although these techniques do not replace professional help, a professional may help you implement them.

14 anger management techniques for inner peace

Below are 14 anger management techniques inspired by professional therapeutic techniques you might encounter with a provider or through an anger management class. To understand these tips in further detail or gain a personalized variation, reach out to a mental health professional for further support. 

Practice deep breathing

Deep breathing has been associated with stress reduction . Anger can often be related to stress, so breathing exercises are one way to tackle two symptoms simultaneously. 

Box breathing is a common and effective deep breathing exercise. It involves breathing in slowly as profoundly as you can to the count of four, holding for a count of four, breathing out slowly to the count of four, and holding once more for a count of four. This breathing exercise can be repeated as often as you need, and you might be able to find an app that guides you with imagery and calming sounds as you breathe. 

Visualize a calming environment

If you can separate yourself from the source of your anger for a few minutes, visualization might help you take a moment to focus on your emotional goals. In this process, try not to visualize yourself harming others. Instead, visualize other representations of your anger.

For example, you could visualize a tornado ripping through a field, tearing up trees, and stirring up dust. Visualizing this imaginary destruction might offer a mental image of the emotions you're experiencing. After a few minutes, imagine the tornado dissipating with your anger. In its place, consider a rainbow, a soft mist, and a shining green field. 

If you aren't sure how to engage in visualization in a way that helps you, you may try a guided meditation online. Many guided meditations are free and might be oriented toward a specific type of anger or symptom to help you calm down. 

Write in a journal

Journaling may help you notice patterns in your thinking, which can be advantageous in the long term by pointing out areas of growth you might not initially notice. When angry, remove yourself from the situation, sit down, and write out your thoughts and feelings. Some people find it therapeutic to journal with paper and pen to slow themselves down. Others might use a phone or computer to get their thoughts out quickly and conveniently. 

Find a physical release of anger

In some cases, you might feel that your anger is so intense that it causes physical sensations like burning skin, clenching muscles, or nausea. You may notice a spike in adrenaline or physical energy. 

Vent to someone you trust

Social connections have benefits for mental and physical health . Emotional repression is correlated with negative health impacts and can worsen anger, so you might try reaching out to someone you love to vent or socialize with. Venting to someone, whether they're a hotline volunteer, therapist, or a friend, might offer validation and a sense of camaraderie. 

If you want to vent but aren't seeking advice, let the individual know beforehand. In addition, ask for emotional consent before unloading your thoughts on another person. A friend might not be in the headspace to hear about emotional topics in some circumstances. 

Take a break

When you feel angry or irritated, take a break. Go to the bathroom and close the door or go to your car and sit for a few minutes. If you're at work, consider focusing on the task at hand and taking a break as soon as you can get a few minutes away from your job. 

While on your break, focus on your breathing and calm your thoughts. You can use visualization techniques to imagine yourself in a relaxing place, like a clearing in the woods or your favorite place to go camping. Try to find imaginary stimuli in your visualization that engage the senses. For example, if you're visualizing a forest, you might imagine what smells you can notice and what sounds you hear. 

Consider the underlying cause of your anger

Anger is sometimes a secondary emotion caused by an underlying need. Difficulty with anger management can sometimes pair with difficulty identifying emotional, psychological, social, or physical needs. Take a break to ask yourself what you need and how you can accomplish that need. You can also consider whether your anger resulted from sadness, fear, guilt, disgust, or another emotion. Targeting the initial emotion may be more effective than targeting the anger if this is the case. 

Try cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a coping skill from cognitive-behavioral therapy that has been proven effective in helping individuals cope with anger . Restructuring your thoughts can involve acknowledging those that may be maladaptive and taking a moment to reframe them.

How you talk to yourself may impact you the same way you talk to others could impact them. When you tell yourself statements like, "Everything is ruined," you might increase a painful emotion. To change the thought to a more productive but still validating option, you might tell yourself, "This situation is upsetting, and it's understandable to be angry. However, I'm ready to find solutions." 

Cognitive restructuring may be difficult to establish as a skill on your own. Consider contacting a cognitive-behavioral therapist if you'd like to further explore how this skill might support you.  

Consider problem-solving

Some people feel angry when they feel out of control of a situation. If you can pinpoint a problem that caused you to feel angry, try to change your focus to a problem-solving lens. You can use the energy of your anger to consider what might put an end to the situation or make it less impactful. 

Look at parts of the situation that are in your power instead of those that aren't. For example, if you're angry with your coworkers for removing your files by accident, remind yourself that mistakes can occur and that you have the option to back up files in the future to a personal USB stick or separate locked folder. You can also work on forgiveness and cope with the frustration of re-doing your work by using it as an opportunity to grow and learn more than you might have the first time. 

Practice radical acceptance

If you're angry about a situation that is out of your control, you might benefit from a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skill called radical acceptance. Follow the below steps: 

• Observe how you might be questioning or fighting your reality.
• Remind yourself that your reality cannot be changed in this situation.
• Try to note any causes for the reality. Acknowledge how many people do not have control over life's challenges, but you can control how you proceed.
• Practice acceptance with your mind, body, and spirit. Use positive self-talk to tell yourself you are willing to accept this situation, even if it is difficult.
• List all the behaviors you'd partake in if you already accepted this situation. Then act this way until you find it aligns with your reality.
• Cope ahead by thinking of ways to accept the situation if it worsens.
• Attend to your body sensations using mindfulness or meditation to connect with yourself.
• Allow disappointment, sadness, grief, or anger to arise if they do. Note them and do not act on them. Give them the space to exist.
• Acknowledge that life can be worth living, even when there is anger. 
• Create a pros and cons list if you are resisting acceptance further.

Humor is one way to diffuse anger in some scenarios. When you can find the humor in a situation and laugh about it, you might start to feel better. Laughing is known to  relieve stress , which can correlate with anger. When you feel angry, your body may get tense. Laughter can cause a sensation of lightness or detachment from unwanted thoughts.  

Change your environment

In the immediate moment of getting angry, consider stepping away to change your environment. Going outside, for example, may help you find  emotional and physical relief . If it's possible to change your environment, you might pair this activity with mindfulness by finding five objects in your new environment that you might not have noticed if you were passing by. 

Establish readiness for anger management

One study suggests that if someone is not ready for anger management , they might struggle to find use from therapy. For this reason, working toward a state of readiness and willingness may be advantageous. One of the first steps can be accepting that your anger is an area you'd like to work on. Anger management concerns can be common, and you're not alone. 

Try counseling 

Some people may find it challenging to apply anger management tools independently. If you relate, reaching out for professional support might be beneficial. Many licensed mental health professionals are qualified to help individuals develop coping mechanisms for behaviors motivated by complex emotional responses.  

However, some people with anger challenges might hesitate to contact a therapist in person. They may feel shame about their situation or fear having an emotional outburst in front of others. An online therapeutic setting may offer a more comfortable alternative in these cases. With online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp, clients can choose between phone, video, or chat sessions depending on their needs. In addition, they can get resources like worksheets or an online journal. 

You may worry that online therapy won't alleviate your anger effectively. However, current research suggests otherwise. A recent study confirmed that online anger management interventions could relieve anger alongside co-occurrent concerns like depression. If you're stressed about money, online therapy can also be more cost-effective.

How do you process anger in a healthy way?

To process anger and reduce stress in a healthy way, you generally have to find positive coping mechanisms that work for you. A few to try include deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation exercises, venting to a trusted friend, journaling, taking a break from the situation, focusing on problem-solving, and practicing radical acceptance. You could also work with a therapist to uncover the roots of your anger and learn management strategies for anger problems under their guidance.

How do you overcome anger and irritability?

Some examples of strategies for staying in control when you feel anger escalating can include engaging in relaxation techniques like breathing deeply, repeating a calm word or mantra, venting to a trusted friend, or taking a break from the situation. You could also work with a therapist or anger management counselor for support. 

If you find yourself frequently experiencing irritability, note that it could be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition like depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Seeking professional support and treatment for this potential symptom is recommended, as such illnesses generally do not resolve on their own.

How do you help someone with anger management?

Individuals who are working on understanding anger and managing their anger issues can generally benefit from the support of friends and family. To offer this kind of support, you could strive to stay calm yourself in heightened situations or conversations with this person and practice active listening to ensure they feel heard. Setting, encouraging, and respecting boundaries on your part and theirs can be helpful too, as can giving each other space to calm down when needed. You could also encourage them to seek professional support on this journey if they’re not already. 

How do you deal with anger (coping mechanism)?

There are many different coping mechanisms that may help you in healthily controlling anger and expressing anger in your personal relationships and everyday life. For example, when you start to notice angry feelings arising, you could breathe deeply, repeat a calming mantra, visualize a calming scene, or count slowly. Taking a break from the situation, focusing on problem-solving, and practicing radical acceptance could help as well. 

If you’re looking for support in this area, speaking with a licensed mental health professional may also be worth trying. They can help you understand how different events affect your emotions, what the roots of your angry feelings might be, and how to work on strategies to control anger that could help you reduce the risk of related relationship problems as well as health problems like high blood pressure.

How can I control my emotions and feelings?

We generally can’t control the emotions we feel, but we can learn to control our responses to them. For example, healthily dealing with anger can look like stepping away from the situation to do breathing exercises and gather your thoughts. That way, you can calmly communicate them to the other person rather than letting anger build and then engaging in passive-aggressive behavior or having an outburst. There are many different methods that may help you learn to control your emotional responses, from meditating to relaxation techniques to therapy.

How do you not get affected by others’ behavior?

We can’t control emotions that may arise as a result of the behavior of others, but we can learn to control what we do in response to those emotions. If you’re experiencing uncomfortable emotions as a result of how someone is behaving toward you, striving to understand why you feel this way can be a helpful first step in many cases. Then you may be able to approach the person calmly and explain, using “I” statements, how you felt in response to their behavior, and engage in active listening after that to hear their perspective. Remember that if you think your safety may be at risk because of someone else’s behavior, leaving the situation and seeking support immediately is recommended.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse in any form, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for immediate support, advice, and assistance.

How do you deal with emotional dysregulation?

First, taking steps to calm your nervous system can be helpful. This can look like doing breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation techniques, journaling, repeating a calming mantra, or taking a brisk walk. Next, trying to understand why you felt dysregulated can sometimes give you insight into something you may need to change or do differently, or a past trauma you may need to address. If you’re looking for support with emotional dysregulation, speaking with a therapist is generally an advisable next step.

How do I stop my emotions from controlling me?

Uncontrolled anger or other emotions can be powerful and may significantly affect our behavior. With the right coping strategies, however, you may be able to learn to maintain more control when you experience feelings like these in the future. Practicing mindfulness in your daily life is one way to work toward better emotional control, since it trains your awareness so that you can better notice emotions as they arise. You can also get familiar with strategies designed to help you return to calm, such as breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and repeating a calming mantra or affirmation.

Can we choose our emotions or do they just happen?

You can’t choose the emotions you feel, but you can engage in healthy strategies to manage them and try to understand why they came up. For example, you generally can’t choose to not feel angry if you feel angry. Instead, you can try deep breathing exercises or visualizations to help yourself calm down. Then, you can direct your energy toward understanding why this emotion came up, what it might be telling you, and how you’d like to act accordingly.

Can you control your thoughts?

It’s generally not possible to control your thoughts. However, through the practice of mindfulness, you can learn to notice them as they arise so you can choose whether to engage with them or not. For example, if you notice anger welling up inside you, you can use the nonjudgmental awareness and curiosity of mindfulness to understand why it’s arising and to maintain more control as it washes over you.

• How To Get Rid Of Anger To Improve Your Life Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA
• Causes Of Narcissistic Rage Medically reviewed by Majesty Purvis , LCMHC
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Anger Management Therapy: Types, Techniques, and Benefits

• Types of Therapy

How It Works

• Other Methods
• Finding a Therapist

Anger management refers to a set of skills used to handle and express anger in healthy ways. Anger is a natural emotion, and when managed well, it can even be healthy and productive. But when anger escalates to the point that it causes harm to yourself and others, it's time to make some changes.

Read on to learn more about anger management counseling and why it's important.

Illustration by Michela Buttignol for Verywell Health

What Is Anger Management?

People use a number of conscious and unconscious processes to handle their anger. Common approaches include:

• Suppressing

While anger may be a normal and healthy emotion, how we respond to it makes a big impact. Anger management can help you respond in healthy, constructive ways.

What Is Anger?

Anger is a natural emotion that is subjective and adaptive. It can vary in intensity, from subtle irritation to intense rage.

It has different components:

• Experiential : Emotional experiences accompanied by physiological responses
• Expressional : Behaviors used to deal with anger feelings

Types of Anger Management Therapy

Psychotherapists use three basic strategies in anger management treatment:

• Relaxation : Learning to calm the body
• Cognitive therapy : Learning healthy thinking patterns
• Skill development : Learning new behaviors

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most commonly used treatment for anger management, and many studies have shown its effectiveness.

CBT for anger targets thought patterns and behaviors associated with problematic anger management. Once these are identified, they can be replaced over time with realistic, productive responses to feeling angry.

These responses are achieved through exercises, such as reframing the way you think about a problem and how you respond to it. CBT can identify anger cues and triggers and implement practices and techniques to stop anger from escalating.

Variations on CBT may be used, such as:

• Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) : Combines cognitive therapy, meditation , and mindfulness
• Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) : An action-oriented approach that addresses irrational beliefs and develops skills to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in more productive, healthier ways

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) focuses on mindfulness as a way for people to increase awareness of their emotions. Recognizing strong emotions can improve people's judgments of anger-inducing situations and help them control their emotions and come up with appropriate responses.

Other Therapies

Although CBT remains the first line of treatment for anger management, other psychotherapies may help as well. These include:

• Emotion-focused therapy : This therapy can help people process negative emotions in a safe, empathetic environment. During one-on-one sessions, your therapist may evoke anger and help you respond to it appropriately.
• Family therapy : Attachment-based family therapy is similar to EFT but with a family member or romantic partner present during sessions. In a safe environment, you can express intense emotions and unmet needs. The therapist can then help your loved one respond with validation and empathy.
• Psychodynamic therapy : The focus of this therapy is to find the roots of a person's anger through dialogue with a therapist. Reflecting on past experiences and emotions can help you improve your present situation.
• Acceptance and commitment therapy : The focus of this therapy is to help people accept that negative experiences and emotions occur and then help them psychologically adapt to these challenges.

Anger management therapy helps a person gain insight into what triggers their anger as well as identify their anger responses. Using certain exercises, the person develops skills that help them manage their anger in healthy and productive ways .

Anger treatment programs typically aim to modify:

• Cognitive processes : Therapy can help you identify triggers that make you angrier and then change incorrect thought patterns.
• Physiological arousal : Treatment can help you relax by paying more attention to your body's response to anger-inducing situations.
• Behavior/social interaction : Learning to manage your anger can also include avoiding stressful situations and improving your communication skills.

Other Ways to Control Anger

There are ways to practice anger management skills outside of formal therapy sessions. In fact, if you are in professional treatment for anger management, you will be encouraged to practice skills outside of class.

Relaxation techniques can be practiced as needed and regularly as part of your daily routine. Tools might include:

• Deep breathing
• Relaxing imagery
• Meditation and mindfulness exercises

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring involves changing the way you think about situations. This might involve taking the overly dramatic or exaggerated thinking that tends to come with anger and trying to be more logical and realistic, even when the anger is justified.

Exercise is great for physical and mental health. It's also been shown to have a positive effect on anger reduction and stress control.

Realistic Problem-Solving

Instead of reacting with frustration, you can tackle your issue by:

• Evaluating the problem
• Identifying your options for a response
• Considering the likely consequences of each potential solution

It's also important to recognize that problems will arise that do not have a perfect solution or may be out of your control. In situations like these, focus on what you can control in the situation, and what behaviors will leave you feeling the best about yourself over time.

If your sincere attempts to solve the problem are not successful at first, be easy on yourself, try to be patient, practice your anger management techniques, and avoid all-or-nothing thinking—focusing on extremes and absolutes like "always" or "never."

Thought Stopping

If you feel your angry thoughts building, counter them with commands to stop the pattern of angry thoughts before the anger escalates.

Communication and Clarification

When angry feelings arise, stop, think, and ask yourself where the anger is coming from. Sometimes anger can be a smoke screen for other feelings, like fear or anxiety . Talking about your feelings, with others or even out loud to yourself, can help.

Stop, slow down, and think when heated discussions arise. Listen carefully to the other person, and carefully consider what you are going to say before you respond.

Try employing the Conflict Resolution Model:

• Identify the problem.
• Identify the feelings associated with the conflict.
• Identify the impact of the problem.
• Decide whether to resolve the conflict.
• Work towards resolution of the conflict, including if a compromise is needed.

It can be difficult, but trying to see the humor in situations—even frustrating ones—can help take the fire out of an angry response.

"Time Out"

"Time outs" aren't just for children; they can be a way for you to take a minute to calm down and de-escalate your anger.

A "time out" could include the following process:

• Leave the situation.
• Count to 10.
• Repeat calming phrases.
• Breathe deeply.
• Shift to a more pleasant thought.
• Bring yourself back into focus.

It can also be helpful to schedule regular personal time for periods of the day you know will be stressful, such as claiming the first 15 minutes after you get home from work as uninterrupted "me time."

Avoiding Triggers

You can get help identifying your triggers in therapy—the goal then is to avoid these situations. For example, if you tend to get frustrated with something at night, try doing it at a different time of day. If your child's messy room angers you, close their door. If driving to work sets you off, look into taking the bus or train.

Abuse Is More Than an Anger Issue

Domestic violence and abuse involves a deliberate control over another person, not necessarily a loss of control or temper. Abuse requires specialized treatment, not standard anger management classes.

If you or a loved one are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence, contact the  National Domestic Violence Hotline  at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates. For more mental health resources, see our  National Helpline Database .

Poor anger management is associated with a number of negative effects on physical, mental, and social health, including cardiovascular diseases, low self-esteem, and interpersonal problems.

Proper anger management habits are part of taking care of overall health for everyone.

When Is Anger Management Therapy Effective?

Everyone can benefit from learning effective anger management strategies, but anger management treatment may be especially helpful for people in certain circumstances.

Working People

Any job can be stress -inducing, but some jobs can make anger management especially necessary. For example, nursing has been shown to involve many factors that can trigger anger responses.

Expressing anger (such as using offensive hand gestures) has been shown to increase safety risks while driving. Incorporating anger management techniques into driver training classes could help make roads safer.

People Who Are or at Risk of Being Incarcerated

Studies have shown anger management can be effective in reducing the risk of reoffending, particularly violent reoffending.

A 2015 meta-analysis explored the effects of CBT-based anger management interventions among adult men who were incarcerated. After treatment completion, the overall risk of reoffending showed a 42% reduction, while violent reoffending showed a 56% reduction.

People With Substance Use Disorder

Anger and aggression are associated with substance abuse . Difficulty managing anger and aggression can be a significant barrier to treatment for substance use.

While it's a common belief that anger "fuels" athletes, there is evidence to show that anger might be dysfunctional if not managed correctly, particularly in sports that require selective attention and fine-tuned motor skills.

Research suggests that CBT programs can help athletes understand and control this anger response.

Children and Adolescents

Children and adolescents who struggle with anger management can be at increased risk for difficulties in school and in social interactions. If it continues into later adolescence and adulthood, they are at risk for problems with employment and potential legal troubles.

Teaching anger management skills to children and adolescents reduces these risks and other negative outcomes associated with anger issues. Starting this training before they internalize unhealthy behaviors is especially beneficial.

CBT combined with mindfulness techniques, implemented by trained CBT practitioners, have been shown to be effective for anger management with children.

When to See a Healthcare Provider

When it comes to your mental health, consider seeing a healthcare provider when you feel like your symptoms interfere with your daily life or work. For anger specifically, make sure to seek help if you feel like your anger is out of control or if you're worried you might hurt someone or yourself.

When looking for a therapist, find someone with experience in anger management. Approaches to anger management can be different than other forms of therapy.

The American Psychological Association has an online search tool to help you find a psychologist in your area.

Anger management skills are learned. People who have difficulty managing their anger can learn productive ways to handle their emotions.

Professional treatment, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, is effective at treating anger management issues. Practicing anger management skill-building exercises at home and putting them into practice helps solidify good anger management habits.

American Psychological Association. Control anger before it controls you .

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Richard Y, Tazi N, Frydecka D, Hamid MS, Moustafa AA. A systematic review of neural, cognitive, and clinical studies of anger and aggression .  Curr Psychol . Published online June 8, 2022. doi:10.1007/s12144-022-03143-6

Diamond GM, Shahar B, Sabo D, Tsvieli N. Attachment-based family therapy and emotion-focused therapy for unresolved anger: The role of productive emotional processing .  Psychotherapy (Chic) . 2016;53(1):34-44. doi:10.1037/pst0000025

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By Heather Jones Jones is a freelance writer with a strong focus on health, parenting, disability, and feminism.

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• Even Better

How to make your anger work for you

Go ahead, get mad. It’s healthy.

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Anger is misunderstood. Unjustly maligned as a wholly negative emotion, anger contains multitudes : It can be both blinding yet clarifying, suffocating yet motivating. Anger serves as an internal alarm, calling attention to an unfairness or a wrong that needs righting, says psychologist Ryan Martin , author of How to Deal With Angry People and Why We Get Mad: How to Use Your Anger for Positive Change . We experience anger both the moment an offense occurs and in every instance we recall the event thereafter.

People are the root cause of anger. Everyone from romantic partners to leaders of foreign governments — and even ourselves — can make our blood boil. The way anger manifests varies, too. Anger is a punch, a scream, a red face, a silent brood, a river of tears. Anger is selfish (road rage) and selfless (protesting a war half a world away). This prickling, burning emotion — which can range from moderate irritation to complete rage — energizes us to come face-to-face with the wrongdoers, Martin says. When we’re angry, “our sympathetic nervous system activates our fight-or-flight response,” he says. “So our heart rate [is] increasing, our breathing increasing, and so on. That’s all a way to essentially give us the energy we need to fight back.”

Sometimes, this motivating drive leads to inappropriate actions: yelling profanities at the guy who cut us off in traffic, lashing out at a customer service representative, leaving passive-aggressive notes for loud neighbors, seeking revenge against a friend who hurt us. Other times, we may repress anger and stew in silence. Anger can morph into despair: that a problem is so profound the only solution is more outrage. The consequences of unproductive anger can be damaging to personal relationships and professional reputations, and dangerous to those against whom revenge is sought.

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Most people report feeling angry anywhere from once a day to a few times a week, Martin says. Those who experience anger more often or so intensely that it’s distracting or interfering with work and relationships may have an increased risk of heart attack, stroke, hypertension, high blood pressure, changes in heart rate, and metabolism, muscle, and respiratory problems.

There is an effective middle ground where anger can be leveraged to make positive change . When anger’s heat burns brightest is the time to make plans, says Jennifer Lerner , a professor of public policy, management, and decision science at the Harvard Kennedy School who also studies the effects of emotions on decision-making. But wait until the fire dulls to embers to take action.

Anger is motivating, but misleading

Amid an infuriating moment, or when recalling an infuriating moment, you may be struck with a sense of certainty. Anger tells you that quitting your job is the appropriate way to deal with a work spat, or that telling your neighbor what you really think of them will get them to clean up after their dog. “It gives this sense that things are knowable,” Lerner says. “The problem is that it’s a false sense of certainty and clarity.” This unfounded confidence can lead to hasty, risky decisions and potential mistakes when, in reality, you haven’t considered alternatives.

There are a multitude of ways to respond to anger, Martin says, but before taking any action — and getting swept up in false clarity — consider what your goal is. Whether you’re aiming for more respect at work or a lawn without dog waste, musing the why of anger can lead to more productive outcomes.

Reflecting on the root of anger enables you to reconsider whether your displeasure is justified, Martin says. What initially appeared to be an unfairness was perhaps something more benign. Did your mother-in-law criticize your cooking or did she simply comment on having had lasagna the last time you had her over for dinner? Was the test exceptionally difficult or were you unprepared? “You want how you’re feeling in that moment to be rooted in what actually happened,” Martin says. “Was it a fair exam that you just didn’t study for? Okay, then maybe feel a little bit guilty and then channel that sadness or guilt into doing better next time. Was it an unfair exam that you were well prepared for but just didn’t necessarily capture what you thought it should capture? Okay, then channel that into whatever you need to do to rebound from that.”

Use anger for problem-solving

When you have an accurate assessment of why you’re angry, you can plan to ensure the injustice is rectified. “It is often really important not to ignore the anger,” Lerner says, “but to name it and claim it in some way.”

Instead of making a rash decision or stuffing down the irritation in the heat of the moment, write down all the reasons you’re mad and what you’d like to do in response. In one column, list the ways anger could help you, and in another, describe how some of these reactions could be counterproductive, says Gerrod Parrott , a psychology professor at Georgetown University. An effective way to respond to your frustration at speeding drivers on your street is to reach out to your neighbors to pool resources and to collectively write to the city to inquire about speed bumps. Throwing rocks at said motorists is unlikely to slow them down. “Planning revenge fuels anger,” Lerner says, “and can become an obsession and become very dangerous.”

For anger stemming from less personal offenses, like systemic or global injustices, consider the most constructive ways you can make an impact. Even the most existential and faraway anger-inducing events can inspire local reactions, like reaching out to elected officials, attending protests, or donating to charitable organizations, Parrott says. In the case of climate change , for example, how can your skills and passions be best put to use in your community? “The healthy response is to figure out, what are the little things I can control here, even if they’re small?” Martin says. “I personally can’t fix climate change , but I can take small steps, and I can feel good about knowing I took those small steps.”

Be strategic with your reactions to anger. Recall the instances where you angered someone else: How did they address their feelings with you? Were they successful? “Berating is often not the first strategy that comes to mind,” Parrott says. In the past, if a friend was upset by your frequently canceling plans and expressed their disappointment in a measured way, you may consider this an effective strategy for discussing anger when you’re on the other side. “Think of a person who has some justifiable anger and I am the target of that,” Parrott continues. “How would they behave in a way that might actually persuade me to rectify the situation?”

Take time to cool off before acting

Don’t act on this anger action list while in the throes of intense emotion. Review your docket of actions a day later to see what issues can be mitigated in a more balanced way, Lerner says. Rope in a neutral third party who can point out whether you’re justified in your anger in the first place and suggest other appropriate courses of action.

For example, instead of cutting off a friend immediately after they made an insulting joke, again, write down the reasons you felt slighted or inflamed. How could you prevent feeling that way again short of breaking up with a pal ? If you feel justified in your anger, you could discuss with the friend why the comment upset you and how you’d like to move forward. “It’s often more helpful to talk about how something made you feel rather than describing what’s wrong with them,” Parrott says. “It leaves them a little bit of an opening to say, ‘Oh, my God, I didn’t realize it was coming across that way.’ It gives them a bit of an out, socially, that makes it more likely that they’ll be able to back off and do what you want them to do.”

It’s worth taking this time to weigh the consequences — to yourself and others — of any potential actions, Martin says. Having a difficult conversation with a friend may be uncomfortable, but it could also strengthen your relationship. Hastily quitting your job after an enraging meeting puts the welfare of you and your family at risk. Also, consider what repercussions your anger would have on the other person, Parrott says. If a client is withholding payment, your speaking out against their practices could have a material impact on their business. By informing your professional network of the client’s attitude toward contractors, the reputation of said client will spread, Parrott says, and people may be reluctant to accept work. Your warning can save other freelancers from the headache of dealing with a difficult client. As a result, the client could struggle to find the best workers — which could inspire them to change their practices.

If you do yearn to act impulsively, Lerner suggests using that energy to complete an item on your idealized wish list of things you hope to do in your spare time. (You know the one: signing up for a volunteer opportunity, picking up trash on your block, apologizing to a friend for forgetting their birthday.) “When you’re mad and you have a few minutes,” Lerner says, “just take something from your list and do it.”

Don’t wait so long your anger fizzles to complacency or you suppress your emotions into obliteration. “You lose the benefits of anger,” Parrott says. Treating anger as a normative and motivating reality allows you to use the feeling to positive ends and not ones of destruction. Which is a healthier way of getting what you want — and limits the number of angry emails in the world.

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What Is Anger Management Therapy?

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital.

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Most people experience anger now and then. However, if you feel angry often or intensely, anger management therapy can help. “Anger management is an approach designed to help you manage the emotional and physiological arousal that accompanies anger," explains Erin Engle, PsyD, a psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center.

Engle goes on to say, "As it's often not possible to change the circumstances or people that elicit anger, anger management can help you recognize your triggers for anger and learn to cope with them more effectively .” Here's what you need to know about this therapy type and how it can help you live a happier, healthier life.

The aim of anger management therapy is to help minimize stressful or anger-evoking situations, improve self-control, and help you express your feelings in a healthy manner , according to Engle.

Types of Anger Management Therapy

Anger is a universal emotion that often arises in response to threat, loss of power, or injustice, says Engle. Additionally, this emotion is not necessarily negative, though it can be detrimental at uncontrollable levels given the behaviors likely to follow, such as throwing things, walking out, attacking others, saying things you later regret, or acting passive-aggressively .

Anger management therapy can help reduce these types of responses or outbursts. Several different approaches can be used during therapy sessions, some of which include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) : CBT is often the treatment of choice for anger management. Engle says that it can help you understand your triggers for anger, develop and practice coping skills, and think, feel, and behave differently in response to anger, so you are calmer and more in control.
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) : DBT is a form of CBT that can help individuals with intense or frequent anger regain emotional control. It works by helping the individual develop emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills, mindfulness, and effective communication in relationships says Engle.
• Family therapy : This form of therapy can be helpful in situations where anger is often directed at family members, such as when a young adult has unresolved anger toward a parent. It can help you work together to improve communication and resolve issues.
• Psychodynamic therapy : Psychodynamic therapy can help you examine the psychological roots of your anger and your response to it so you can identify and correct unhealthy patterns.

Your mental healthcare provider will evaluate your circumstances and specific behaviors to determine the overall approach to treatment and whether you require medication in addition to therapy, says Engle. 

Anger Management Therapy Techniques

Anger management therapy techniques can involve understanding your triggers and responses to anger, learning strategies to manage or diffuse it, and changing thoughts and attitudes related to anger. Engle outlines some of these techniques below.

Identifying Triggers and Responses

Therapy can help you develop a better understanding of the factors that contribute to your expressions of anger, such as current and past triggers . You also begin to better understand your responses to anger and the consequences or aftereffects on you and your relationships. 

For instance, through anger management therapy, you may realize that yelling at your spouse is related to observing your parents yell when growing up. Or, you may learn that you engage in this behavior because you believe you'll only get what you want if you yell.

Learning Strategies to Diffuse Anger

Anger management therapy can equip you with strategies to disrupt your anger or manage your response to it through avoidance or distraction. A therapist can help you problem-solve how to respond when you’re angry.

Role-playing offers opportunities to practice skills that can enhance anger control, such as assertiveness and direct communication.

Therapy can also teach you coping strategies and relaxation techniques. You can learn about deep breathing , leaving the room and returning when you're collected, or using a relaxing image to alleviate the intensity of anger.

Changing Attitudes and Thought Patterns

Therapy can also involve restructuring thinking and changing attitudes related to anger , particularly if a CBT approach is used. The therapist will help you examine your attitudes and ways of thinking to identify patterns that might exacerbate anger, such as ruminating, catastrophizing, judging, fortune-telling, or magnifying. 

Your therapist will also work with you to practice changing your response patterns. They can encourage forgiveness and compassion, offer ways to let go of hurt and disappointment, and help you repair and accept ruptured relationships.

Assessing Anger Management Issues

Unsure whether you might benefit from anger management therapy? This short, free 21-item test measures a variety of symptoms and feelings associated with anger, such as anger about the present and future, anger toward oneself, and hostile feelings toward others.

This anger quiz was medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

What Anger Management Therapy Can Help With

While anger management is a form of treatment designed to help you manage anger, anger is not officially a condition that is diagnosed or defined, like depression or anxiety, for instance. However, intense, destructive, or uncontrollable anger may cause significant distress and impairment and impact safety, says Engle.

Rage, persistent anger, or angry outbursts can have detrimental consequences for physical health, quality of life, and relationships

Anger management therapy can help anyone who experiences rage or has angry outbursts. It can help improve your:

• Mental health : Anger can consume your focus, cloud your judgment, and deplete your energy. It is also associated with other mental health conditions, such as depression and substance use disorders .
• Physical health : Anger manifests physically in the body with a surge of adrenaline, a rapid rise in heartbeat, higher blood pressure, and increased muscle tension in the form of a clenched jaw or fisted hands, says Engle. Over time, this can take a toll on your health and lead to physical health conditions.
• Career : Anger can make it hard to focus on school or work and affects performance. It can also harm relationships with peers. While creative differences, constructive criticism, and healthy debates can be productive, lashing out or having angry outbursts can alienate peers and lead to negative consequences.
• Relationships : Anger often harms loved ones the most and can take a toll on your relationships with them. It can make it difficult for others to be comfortable around you, erode their trust and respect, and be especially damaging to children .

Anger management therapy is sometimes court-ordered in case a person has committed criminal offenses, such as:

• Assault or sexual assault
• Disturbing the peace
• Domestic abuse or violence

Benefits of Anger Management Therapy

Anger management therapy can be beneficial for a variety of reasons. It can help you:

• Identify triggers: Knowing what situations trigger your anger can help you avoid them or manage your reaction to them.
• Change your thinking: Anger management can help you identify and change unhealthy thought patterns that fuel your anger.
• Develop coping skills: Therapy can help you regulate your emotions, control your actions, and develop skills to help you cope with situations that trigger your anger.
• Learn relaxation techniques: Your therapist may teach you relaxation techniques to help you calm down and relax your body and mind .
• Solve problems: If certain situations trigger your anger repeatedly, your therapist may encourage you to look for solutions or alternatives. 
• Improve communication: Anger management therapy can help you express your feelings in a healthy, respectful, or assertive manner, without being aggressive.

Effectiveness of Anger Management Therapy

Engle shares that CBT, which is often used to treat anger, is a very effective approach. CBT is an empirically-supported treatment that takes a skills-based approach to anger management with emphasis on awareness of thoughts, behavioral patterns, and skill development with respect to physical and emotional reactions to anger.

A 2017 study found that CBT was helpful to table tennis players with anger management issues. Even one year after completing treatment, participants were less likely to negatively express anger or react angrily. A 2020 study added that anger management therapy was beneficial to patients with HIV.

If you find yourself arguing often, becoming violent, breaking things, threatening others, or getting arrested because of incidents related to your anger, you may need to seek anger management therapy.

Co-Occurring Mental Health Issues

Some mental health issues commonly co-occur with anger. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is one. Anger is also so common with a few other mental disorders that it is one of the criteria for diagnosis. These disorders include:

• Bipolar disorder
• Borderline personality disorder
• Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder
• Intermittent explosive disorder
• Oppositional defiant disorder

“As with any form of treatment, it can be beneficial to seek out the support and experience of a trained mental health professional," says Engle. "Professional evaluation and consultation can help identify any co-occurring mental health issues like trauma or substance use.”

A mental healthcare provider can determine if co-occurring disorders play a predominant role or how they can best be addressed in combination with anger management, says Engle. They can also help determine an appropriate treatment plan.

How to Get Started With Anger Management Therapy

To begin anger management therapy, look for a trained mental health professional who specializes in this form of treatment. By specializing in anger, the professional knows what strategies are most effective for reducing these feelings.

Depending on your preferences, you can choose to opt for individual treatment or group therapy . Individual therapy sessions offer more privacy and one-on-one interaction whereas group therapy sessions can help you recognize that you don't have to go through this alone.

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Anger can take a toll on your health, relationships, and career. Anger management therapy can help you regulate your emotions, maintain self-control, develop coping strategies, and communicate effectively.

Hyoeun Lee A, DiGiuseppe R. Anger and aggression treatments: a review of meta-analyses . Curr Opin Psychol . 2018;19:65-74. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2017.04.004

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By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Anger is the response we have to a problem we feel unable to solve, whether it’s a problem in our relationship, at work, or some other aspect of our lives. But anger is almost always an unconstructive response that escalates the problem, rather than solving it. Learning strategies for problem solving instead is not only constructive, but will also help you to manage and avoid using anger altogether.

Next time you start to feel yourself becoming angry at a particular situation, try some of these strategies for problem solving instead of giving in to your anger:

Change your thinking:  This is a great way to address problems from a different perspective. Sometimes the way we think can create barriers between the solution and us. Our brains are hard-wired to find and focus on threats as part of our in-built survival instinct. This lends itself to negative thinking, where we only focus on the problem and nothing else. By actively changing your thought process – focusing on goals and the steps you can take to achieve them, rather than always focusing on the problem – a more positive result is likely.

Work on communication   skills:  Communication is the key to good problem solving, especially if the problem is a relationship or social problem involving others. Anger disrupts the open flow of ideas, because the focus shifts from solving the problem to either criticising the other person, or defending yourself from criticism. Neither position is particularly conducive to clear communication. Think about what you’re saying – and how you’re saying it – is a good way to avoid conflict with another person. If you can communicate your feelings clearly, you’re less likely to become frustrated and angry – and the other person is less likely to react with anger as well.

Change your environment:  Sometimes your environment may not be a pleasant positive place to be, which can have a negative affect on your mood and cause you to become stressed, frustrated and ultimately angry. If your anger stems from a negative working environment, it might be time to look for a new job. Most of the time, however, the situation isn’t that dire. It might just be that you’re overworked, tired, and need a break. In which case, take some time off – have a holiday – and when you return, remember to  change your thinking , and  work on your communication skills .

These may seem like small, easy changes to make, but that’s why they work. Anger usually stems from a small issue that grows into a bigger problem over time. By addressing the issues head on when they appear, and with a willingness to problem-solve and communicate positively with those around you, you’ll have a better chance of solving the problem without anger.

If you would like to read more about ways to  manage anger , or for tips and advice on practical uses of positive thinking,  continue reading our blog  or  visit our website  for more information.

Marcus Andrews

Marcus Andrews is the founder and director of Life Supports, which was established in 2002. He has extensive professional experience working as a counsellor and family therapist across a broad range of issues. The core component of his role at Life Supports involves the supervision of other counsellors, including secondary consultations. Marcus has worked in many sectors, including private, government, non-profit, health, forensic and community practice.

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Behavioral Interventions for Anger, Irritability, and Aggression in Children and Adolescents

Objective: Anger, irritability, and aggression are among the most common reasons for child mental health referrals. This review is focused on two forms of behavioral interventions for these behavioral problems: Parent management training (PMT) and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

Methods: First, we provide an overview of anger/irritability and aggression as the treatment targets of behavioral interventions, followed by a discussion of the general principles and techniques of these treatment modalities. Then we discuss our current work concerning the transdiagnostic approach to CBT for anger, irritability, and aggression.

Results: PMT is aimed at improving aversive patterns of family interactions that engender children's disruptive behavior. CBT targets deficits in emotion regulation and social problem-solving that are associated with aggressive behavior. Both forms of treatment have received extensive support in randomized controlled trials. Given that anger/irritability and aggressive behavior are common in children with a variety of psychiatric diagnoses, a transdiagnostic approach to CBT for anger and aggression is described in detail.

Conclusions: PMT and CBT have been well studied in randomized controlled trials in children with disruptive behavior disorders, and studies of transdiagnostic approaches to CBT for anger and aggression are currently underway. More work is needed to develop treatments for other types of aggressive behavior (e.g., relational aggression) that have been relatively neglected in clinical research. The role of callous-unemotional traits in response to behavioral interventions and treatment of irritability in children with anxiety and mood disorders also warrants further investigation.

Introduction

C hildhood disruptive behaviors such as anger outbursts and aggression are among the most frequent reasons for outpatient mental health referrals. In the current version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), anger/irritability is the core symptom of oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), and aggressive behavior is most commonly associated with conduct disorder (CD) (American Psychiatric Association 2013 ). However, children with other psychiatric disorders are also at increased risk of anger and aggression, and disruptive behavior disorders are often comorbid with other forms of psychopathology. For example, in population-based studies, the prevalence rates of disruptive behavior disorders range from 14% to 35% in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), from 14% to 62% in children with anxiety disorders, and from 9% to 45% in children with mood disorders (Nock et al. 2007 ). This review is focused on psychosocial interventions for anger/irritability and aggression as dimensions of child psychopathology. Specifically, we include parent management training (PMT) and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), because these modalities have received extensive empirical support as stand-alone interventions that are provided in the format of outpatient psychotherapy (Sukhodolsky et al. 2004 ; Dretzke et al. 2009 ). There is also evidence that these behavioral interventions can be helpful in conjunction with medication management for severe aggression (Aman et al. 2014 ) and as part of multimodal interventions for serious conduct problems, which address multiple risk factors (Sukhodolsky and Ruchkin 2006 ). First, we provide an overview of anger/irritability and aggression as the treatment targets of behavioral interventions, followed by a discussion of the general principles and techniques of these treatment modalities. Then we discuss our current work concerning the transdiagnostic approach to CBT for anger, irritability, and aggression.

Anger, Irritability, and Aggression as Treatment Targets of Behavioral Interventions

Anger is a negative affective state that may include increased physiological arousal, thoughts of blame, and an increased predisposition toward aggressive behavior (Berkowitz and Harmon-Jones 2004). Anger is often triggered by frustration or interpersonal provocation. It can also vary in duration from minutes to hours and range in intensity from mild annoyance to rage and fury. Factor-analytical studies distinguish between anger experience (i.e., the inner feeling), and anger expression (i.e., an individual's tendency to show anger outwardly, suppress it, or actively cope with it by deploying adaptive anger control skills) (Spielberger 1988 ). Improving anger control skills is a primary focus of child-directed CBT approaches that teach skills for coping with anger and frustration that are part of a broader repertoire of emotion regulation strategies.

From the developmental standpoint, various aspects of the experience and expression of anger emerge at different times and follow different developmental trajectories. Temper tantrums that include crying, stomping, pushing, hitting, and kicking are common in 1–4-year-old children and range in frequency from 5 to 9 times per week with an average duration of 5–10 minutes (Potegal et al. 2003 ). The intensity and number of tantrums tend to decrease with age, although typically developing children continue to outwardly display anger and frustration, behaviors that parents often label as tantrums. This decrease in the frequency of temper tantrums as children age is paralleled by the development of emotion regulation skills and the acquisition of socially appropriate ways to express anger (Blanchard-Fields and Coats 2008). Intense and out-of-control anger outbursts may be of clinical concern in young children (Wakschlag et al. 2010 ). Intense anger outbursts in response to trivial provocations may also persist across development and manifest across various psychiatric disorders. Because of an apparent lack of control, these behaviors have been referred to as “rage attacks” in severe mood dysregulation (Carlson 2007 ) and Tourette Syndrome (TS) (Budman et al. 2003 ) as well as “meltdowns” in children on the autism spectrum (Samson et al. 2015 ).

Over the past decade, factor-analytical studies of ODD symptoms have identified a unique dimension of irritability defined by three symptoms: Often loses temper, easily annoyed, and often angry and resentful (Stringaris and Goodman 2009 ; Burke et al. 2014 ). As a result, the symptoms of ODD are now grouped into three types: Angry/irritable mood, argumentativeness/defiant behavior, and vindictiveness, which highlights both the emotional and behavioral aspects of this disorder. Longitudinal studies have shown that irritability symptoms in childhood are associated with mood and anxiety disorders later in life, whereas defiance and vindictiveness predict later conduct problems (Whelan et al. 2013 ). Growing recognition of irritability in childhood psychopathology (Leibenluft and Stoddard 2013 ) and research on severe mood dysregulation (Leibenluft 2011 ) have led to adding a new diagnostic category in the DSM-5, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) (American Psychiatric Association 2013 ). The core symptoms of DMDD include frequent temper outbursts (i.e., three or more times per week) and irritable or depressed mood between the temper outbursts lasting for most of the day nearly every day. Temper outburst may be manifested as verbal rages and/or physical aggression toward people and property.

Aggression can be defined as an overt behavior that can result in harm to self or others (Connor 2002 ). Several subtypes of aggression (e.g., impulsive, reactive, hostile, affective) have been described based on the presence of an angry affect and contrasted with instrumental, proactive, or planned types of aggression that are not “fueled” by anger (Vitiello and Stoff 1997 ). Another well-known classification distinguishes between overtly confrontational antisocial behaviors, such as arguing and fighting, and covert antisocial behaviors, such as lying, stealing, and breaking rules (Frick et al. 1993 ). Physical aggression was found to be a significant risk factor for conduct disorder at an early age of onset, later violence, and other mental health problems such as ADHD and anxiety (Loeber et al. 2000 ). Compared with physical aggression, nonaggressive antisocial behavior was shown to follow a different developmental trajectory (Nagin and Tremblay 1999 ) and predict later nonviolent criminal offenses (Kjelsberg 2002 ).

Principles and Efficacy of PMT

The causal pathways to childhood anger/irritability and aggressive behavior involve multiple interacting biological, environmental, and psychosocial risk factors (Loeber et al. 2009 ). PMT aims to ameliorate patterns of family interactions that produce antecedents and consequences of maintaining tantrums, aggression, and noncompliance. PMT techniques stem from the fundamental principle of operant conditioning, which states that the likelihood of behavior to recur is increased or weakened based on the events that follow the behavior (Skinner 1938 ). For example, a child is more likely to have another tantrum if previous anger outbursts have resulted in an escape from parental demands or the continuation of a preferred activity. Behaviors such as noncompliance, whining, or bickering may also be reinforced if the same benefits are afforded to the child (Patterson et al. 1989 ).

Harsh and inconsistent discipline such as excessive scolding and corporal punishment have also been shown to increase aggressive behaviors (Gershoff 2002 ). The broad goals of PMT are to reduce the child's aggression and noncompliance by improving parental competence in dealing with these maladaptive behaviors. During PMT, parents are taught to identify the function of maladaptive behavior, to give praise for appropriate behavior, to communicate directions effectively, to ignore maladaptive attention-seeking behavior, and to use consistent consequences for disruptive behaviors. PMT is conducted with parents, although for some approaches, children are invited to facilitate the practice of new parenting skills (Eyberg et al. 2008 ). The efficacy and effectiveness of PMT have been evaluated in >100 randomized controlled studies (Dretzke et al. 2009 ; Michelson et al. 2013 ) and excellent treatment manuals are available for clinicians (Kazdin 2005 ; Barkley 2013). There is evidence that the improvements in child behavior are stable over time and can prevent antisocial behavior in adulthood (Scott et al. 2014 ).

The relative efficacy of different parent training approaches have not been well studied in randomized controlled studies, but meta-analytic reviews suggest that program components associated with larger effects include increased positive parent–child interactions and emotional communication skills, parental consistency with consequences, and in vivo practice of new skills with parents (Wyatt Kaminski et al. 2008 ). Improving parent–child communication about emotions has become a focus of emotion coaching interventions, which teach parents the importance of acknowledging and accepting their children's emotional experiences as well as modeling for their children how to identify, label, and cope with strong emotions (Ramsden and Hubbard 2002 ). A recent study of emotion coaching for parents of preschool children found improvements in children's emotional knowledge and reductions in behavior problems (Havighurst et al. 2010 ). However, adding an emotion coaching component to the already established Positive Parenting Program (Triple-P) did not show additive effects in reducing disruptive behavior (Salmon et al. 2014 ).

Other developments in parent-directed interventions have included adaptations of PMT for children with specific neurodevelopmental disorders. Our work has shown that PMT could be helpful for disruptive behavior in children with TS (Scahill et al. 2006 ) and in children with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) (Sukhodolsky et al. 2013 ). Modifications of PMT for these clinical populations required careful consideration of anger outbursts in the context of symptoms manifesting from the primary disorder. For example, irritability and noncompliance could be associated with OCD-related fears or failure of parents to provide accommodations for compulsive behaviors (Storch et al. 2012 ). In children with tics, disruptive behaviors have to be disentangled from complex tics that might resemble purposeful behavior (Sukhodolsky and Scahill 2007 ). More recently, the Research Units on Behavioral Intervention (RUBI) Autism Network has developed and tested a parent training program for irritability and noncompliance in young children with autism (Bearss et al. 2015 ). In addition to standard PMT strategies, the parent training for children on the autism spectrum contains extensive functional assessment strategies, visual schedules for daily routines, and instructions to parents on how to teach developmentally appropriate and adaptive skills to their children.

Child-Directed CBT Approaches

CBT targets deficits in emotion regulation and social problem-solving skills that are associated with aggressive behavior (Dodge 2003). The label “cognitive-behavioral” is used to refer to interventions that are conducted with the child and have an emphasis on the learning principles and the use of structured strategies to produce changes in thinking, feeling, and behavior (Kendall 2006 ). Common cognitive-behavioral techniques include identifying the antecedents and consequences of aggressive behavior, learning strategies for recognizing and regulating anger expression, problem-solving and cognitive restructuring techniques, and modeling and rehearsing socially appropriate behaviors that can replace angry and aggressive reactions. Although CBT is conducted with the child, parents have multiple roles in treatment, including bringing their child to therapy, providing information about their child's behavioral problems, and creating an environment between sessions that is conducive to their child practicing CBT skills. Importantly, parents are asked to recognize their child's effort when applying emotion regulation and problem-solving skills learned in CBT to anger-provoking situations and to provide praise and rewards for behavioral improvements.

Various cognitive-behavioral approaches place relative emphasis on at least one of three content areas: Regulation of excessive anger, learning social problem-solving strategies, and/or developing social skills alternative to aggressive behaviors. Anger control training (ACT) aims to improve emotion regulation and social-cognitive deficits in aggressive children. Children are taught to monitor their emotional arousal and to use techniques such as cognitive reappraisal and relaxation for modulating elevated levels of anger. As part of the training, children also practice socially appropriate responses to anger-provoking situations such as being teased by peers or reprimanded by adults. Several programs of research have evaluated versions of ACT with children (Lochman et al. 2003 ), adolescents (Feindler and Ecton 1986; Deffenbacher et al. 1996 ), and young adults (Kassinove and Tafrate 2002 ). Problem-solving skills training (PSST) addresses cognitive processes, such as faulty perceptions and decision making that are involved in social interaction. For example, hostile attribution bias or inability to generate alternative solutions may contribute to aggressive behavior. Originating from research on social information processing (Dodge et al. 1990 ) and problem solving in children (Shure and Spivack 1972 ), hundreds of studies have examined the association between cognitions in social situations and aggressive behavior (Dodge 2003 ). Participants of PSST are taught to analyze interpersonal conflicts, to develop nonaggressive solutions, and to think about the consequences of their actions in problematic situations. The efficacy of PSST has been demonstrated in several controlled studies (Guerra and Slaby 1990 ; Kazdin et al. 1992 ; Hudley and Graham 1993 ). There is initial evidence that the effects of PSST on conduct problems may be mediated by a change in the targeted deficits in social information processing (Sukhodolsky et al. 2005 ). Social skills training (SST) approaches to reducing aggression and developing assertive behavior are rooted in social-learning theory (Bandura 1973 ). Aggressive youth have been shown to have weak verbal skills, poor conflict resolution skills, and deficits in skills that facilitate friendships (Deater-Deckard 2001 ). The goal of SST with aggressive youth is to enhance social behaviors that can be deployed instead of aggression, as well as behaviors that can be used to develop friendships with nondelinquent peers. Meta-analytic reviews report moderate effects of SST on disruptive behavior (Losel and Beelmann 2003 ) and SST is often used as part of multicomponent interventions such as aggression replacement training (Gundersen and Svartdal 2006 ).

Transdiagnostic Approach to CBT for Anger/Irritability and Aggression

Our approach to CBT for childhood anger and aggression has emerged over the course of three randomized controlled trials (Sukhodolsky and Scahill 2012). The first study evaluated CBT in 33 elementary school children referred by teachers for aggressive behavior in the school setting (Sukhodolsky et al. 2000 ). Compared with the no-treatment control condition, children who received CBT displayed a reduction in teacher reports of aggression and improvement in self-reported anger control. The second study utilized a dismantling design to investigate the relative effectiveness of the social skills training and problem-solving training components of CBT in 26 children referred by their parents for high levels of aggressive behavior (Sukhodolsky et al. 2005 ). Children in both conditions showed a reduction in aggression, whereas the problem-solving condition resulted in a greater reduction in hostile attribution bias, and the skills-training condition resulted in a greater improvement in anger control skills. We also evaluated CBT for explosive anger outbursts and aggression in adolescents with TS (Sukhodolsky et al. 2009 ). TS is characterized by chronic motor and phonic tics that co-occur with disruptive behavior in up to 80% of referred cases (Sukhodolsky et al. 2003 ). We conducted the first randomized study of CBT for anger control versus treatment as usual in 26 adolescents with TS and disruptive behavior. Assessments, which included evaluations by a blinded rater, parent reports, and child self-reports, were conducted before and after treatment as well as 3 months posttreatment. All randomized subjects completed the endpoint evaluation. The parent rating of disruptive behavior decreased by 52% in the CBT condition compared with a decrease of 11% in the control condition. The independent evaluator who was unaware of treatment assignment rated 9 of 13 subjects (69%) in the CBT condition as much improved or very much improved as compared with 2 of 13 (15%) subjects improved in the control condition. The CBT treatment manual that has been developed in these clinical studies has been recently published by Guilford Press (Sukhodolsky and Scahill 2012). Our team is currently conducting a large randomized trial of efficacy and neural mechanisms of CBT for aggression versus a supportive psychotherapy control condition in children across diagnostic categories, which has been funded in response to the Research Domain Criteria (RDoC) initiative. The design of this study is described in our companion article of this issue (Sukhodolsky at al. 2016 this issue).

The treatment starts with a detailed assessment of the frequency (i.e., number of episodes per week), duration (i.e., time) and intensity (i.e., risk of injury, property damage, and impact on family) of anger outbursts and aggressive behaviors. Aggression is operationalized as instances of verbal threats, physical aggression, property damage, and self-injury (Silver and Yudofsky 1991 ). Based on a structured clinical interview with the parent(s) and the child, two to three of the most pressing behavioral problems are identified as target symptoms, and used to tailor therapeutic techniques as outlined in the treatment manual (Sukhodolsky and Scahill 2012 ). The treatment is organized into three modules: Emotion regulation, social problem-solving, and the development of social skills for preventing and resolving conflict situations. The first module starts with identifying anger triggers, developing prevention strategies, and learning emotion regulation skills such as cognitive reappraisal and relaxation training. Sessions 4–6 cover problem-solving skills such as the generation of multiple solutions and the consideration of consequences for different courses of action in conflicts. Sessions 7–9 focus on developing skills for preventing or resolving potentially anger-provoking situations with friends, siblings, parents, and teachers. For example, participants are asked to recall a situation in which they acted aggressively and to role-play behaviors that would have prevented the enactment of aggressive behaviors. Each session consists of a menu of therapeutic techniques and activities that can be use used in a flexible yet reliable manner in order to achieve session goals. Each child session also includes a parent component in which parents are informed about the skills that their child has learned in the session, and a plan is devised that enables the practicing of these skills before the next session. Parents are asked to serve as coaches to facilitate the acquisition of new skills by rewarding nonaggressive behaviors with praise, attention, and privileges. Three separate parent sessions are provided to identify patterns of aversive family interactions that might initiate or maintain a child's aggressive behavior. Parents are then given instruction on how to pay attention to their child's positive behavior and to provide consistent reinforcement for their child's efforts in tolerating frustration and using cognitive problem-solving strategies. Additional parenting strategies discussed in treatment include giving effective commands, ignoring minor misbehaviors, and setting up behavioral contracts.

Although excellent treatment manuals are available in the area of child and adolescent anger control (Feindler and Ecton 1986 ; Lochman et al. 2008 ), most are written in a group therapy format for use in school or inpatient settings. Our manual has been structured for providing CBT during individual outpatient psychotherapy. Another feature that sets our approach apart is the focus on a flexible yet consistent implementation of CBT in children and adolescents with moderate to severe anger/irritability and physical aggression in the outpatient setting. The manual provides guidelines for flexible delivery by allowing therapists to select from several numbered activities that correspond to each session's treatment goals, which can be matched to targeted behavioral problems on the one hand and to the child's motivation and developmental level on the other hand. Lastly, the manual contains treatment fidelity checklists to aid in evaluating treatment adherence, an important part of implementing treatment in a reliable fashion (Perepletchikova and Kazdin 2005 ).

Considerations for Future Research

Although a considerable number of clinical studies have been dedicated to physical aggression, little is known about the treatment of relational aggression. Relational aggression refers to hurting others by damaging their personal relationships or social status, in contrast to overt aggression, which involves hurting someone by physical means (Crick and Grotpeter 1995 ). Although less apparent than overt aggression, relational aggression is associated with depression, social anxiety, and loneliness (Roecker Phelps 2001 ). To our knowledge, all treatment studies that include relational aggression outcome measures have been conducted in school settings (Leff et al. 2010 ). A recent study of a 15-week curriculum focused on communication and problem-solving skills for reducing various types of aggression, which showed a decrease in physical aggression, but no change in relational aggression (Espelage et al. 2013 ). A review of 13 classroom-based prevention programs showed small effect sizes on measures of relational aggression, and concluded that these programs were less effective in addressing relational aggression than overt aggression. A two-pronged approach would help in the development of evidence-based treatments for relational aggression. First, studies of existing behavioral treatments for children with externalizing disorders should include measures of relational aggression. Second, targeted interventions for this form of aggression in children with clinically significant levels of relational aggression should be tested in randomized controlled trials.

Treatment of anger and aggression in the context of co-occurring anxiety and depression poses questions about the sequencing of interventions for primary and secondary symptoms, as well as what risk factors might contribute to the co-occurrence of externalizing and internalizing problems. On the one hand, some studies show that treatment of the primary mood disorder may result in the reduction of associated behavioral problems (Jacobs et al. 2010 ). On the other hand, disruptive behavior may reduce compliance with psychosocial interventions for internalizing symptoms and contribute to functional impairments conferred by the primary diagnoses (Garcia et al. 2010 ). Children with elevated symptoms of anxiety/depression demonstrate greater gains following treatment with parent training (Ollendick et al. 2015 ) and CBT for aggressive behavior (Jarrett et al. 2014 ). It has been suggested that a combination of permissive and controlling/hostile parenting styles may contribute to co-occurring anxiety and conduct problems (Granic 2014 ) and parent-focused treatments have been increasingly used for treatment of anxiety in children (Forehand et al. 2013 ). Similar techniques of cognitive restructuring and problem solving are used within CBT approaches for anxiety/depression and aggressive behavior, which suggests commonality in the emotion regulation skills that are taught to improve both internalizing and externalizing disorders.

Relatively little is known about the treatment of conduct problems in children with callous-unemotional traits (i.e., lack of guilt and empathy). These traits have been associated with persistent and more severe forms of antisocial behavior as well as with distinct neurocognitive deficits in reward processing and social perception (Blair et al. 2015 ). It has been suggested that reduced sensitivity to negative consequences in children with conduct disorder complicated by callous-unemotional traits may reduce the effectiveness of rewards and discipline-focused components of PMT (Hawes et al. 2014 ). At the same time, the increased parental warmth and sensitivity that has been observed following treatment with PMT (O'Connor et al. 2013 ), may serve as the critical element of family-based interventions for ameliorating the lack of empathy and shallow affect conferred by the callous-unemotional traits. One study showed that a 6-hour program that included teaching emotion recognition skills directly to children with high callous-unemotional traits was more effective than parent training, but the effect size for this difference was relatively small (Dadds et al. 2012 ). This suggests that similar and, perhaps, longer treatments that teach emotion recognition and social problem-solving skills directly to children in combination with parent-focused interventions that increase parental warmth and the quality of parent–child interactions may be helpful for children with callous-unemotional traits. These hypotheses are awaiting investigation in randomized controlled trials.

Conclusions

PMT and CBT have been well studied in randomized controlled trials in children with disruptive behavior disorders, and studies involving the transdiagnostic approach to CBT for anger and aggression are currently underway. More work is needed to develop treatments for other types of aggressive behavior (i.e., relational aggression) that have been relatively neglected in clinical research. The role of callous-unemotional traits in response to behavioral interventions and treatment of irritability in children with anxiety and mood disorders also warrants further investigation.

Clinical Significance

Anger/irritability and aggression are among the most frequent reasons for mental health referrals in children and adolescents. PMT is a form of behavioral therapy that aims to ameliorate patterns of family interactions that produce antecedents and consequences that maintain the child's anger and aggression. CBT is another well-studied psychosocial treatment for anger and aggression in children and adolescents. During CBT, children learn how to regulate their frustration, improve their social problem-solving skills, and role-play assertive behaviors that can be used during conflicts instead of aggression. Both PMT and CBT can be offered in the format of time-limited psychotherapy in outpatient mental health centers.

Disclosures

Dr. Denis Sukhodolsky receives royalties from Guilford Press for a treatment manual on cognitive-behavioral therapy for anger and aggression in children. Dr. Stephanie Smith, Ms. Spencer McCauley, Mr. Karim Ibrahim, and Dr. Justyna Piasecka report no conflicts of interest.

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Dealing with Strong Emotions: CBT for Anger Management

Understanding anger management.

To effectively manage anger, it is crucial to understand the concept of  anger management  itself. This section will cover the  importance  of anger management, the  challenges  individuals face in controlling their anger, and introduce the use of  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  as a valuable approach for anger management.

The Importance of Anger Management

Anger is a normal and natural emotion that everyone experiences at various points in their lives. However, when anger becomes frequent, intense, or uncontrollable, it can have detrimental effects on both personal well-being and relationships. Unmanaged anger can lead to negative consequences, such as damaged relationships, poor physical health, and difficulties in personal and professional settings.

By recognizing the importance of anger management, individuals can take proactive steps toward developing healthier coping mechanisms and improving their overall quality of life. Anger management helps individuals understand their anger triggers, learn effective techniques to manage their emotions, and develop healthier communication skills, leading to better relationships and improved emotional well-being.

Challenges in Controlling Anger

Controlling anger can be challenging for many individuals. Some common challenges people face include difficulty identifying the underlying causes of their anger, struggling to express anger in a healthy manner, and a lack of awareness of the physical and emotional signs of anger escalation. Additionally, negative thought patterns and irrational beliefs can contribute to the intensification and perpetuation of anger.

Introduction to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely recognized and evidence-based therapeutic approach that has shown effectiveness in addressing a variety of mental health concerns, including anger management. CBT focuses on the relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, recognizing that they are interconnected and influence one another.

In the context of anger management, CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs that contribute to anger. By replacing these negative thoughts with more rational and adaptive ones, individuals can gain better control over their emotions and behaviors. CBT also teaches individuals specific skills and techniques to manage anger, such as relaxation exercises, problem-solving strategies, and anger awareness and monitoring.

In the following sections, we will delve deeper into the principles of CBT for anger management, explore the various techniques used in CBT, and discuss how individuals can find qualified therapists to guide them through the process. Stay tuned for practical insights and strategies to effectively manage anger through CBT.

CBT for Anger Management

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely used therapeutic approach that has shown effectiveness in  anger management . By understanding the principles of CBT, how it helps with anger management, and the role of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, individuals can gain valuable insights into managing their anger in a healthier way.

Principles of CBT

CBT is based on the premise that  our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are interconnected . The way we think about a situation influences how we feel, which in turn affects how we behave. By identifying and challenging negative or distorted thoughts, it is possible to change the associated emotions and behaviors.

CBT also recognizes that  learning is an active process . Through various techniques and exercises, individuals can develop new skills and coping strategies to manage their anger effectively. This collaborative and goal-oriented approach empowers individuals to take an active role in their treatment.

How CBT Helps with Anger Management

CBT provides individuals with practical tools and strategies to  identify and modify unhelpful patterns of thinking and behavior . It helps them gain a deeper understanding of the triggers that lead to anger and learn healthier ways to respond.

By exploring the underlying thoughts and beliefs that contribute to anger, individuals can challenge and reframe them in a more rational and adaptive way. This process helps to reduce the intensity of anger and develop more constructive responses.

CBT also emphasizes the importance of  learning and practicing new skills . Individuals are encouraged to develop anger management techniques such as relaxation exercises, effective communication, and problem-solving skills. These skills can be applied in real-life situations to prevent or deescalate anger episodes.

The Role of Thoughts, Emotions, and Behaviors

In CBT for anger management, the  role of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors  is closely examined. Negative or distorted thoughts can fuel anger and lead to aggressive or hostile behaviors. By identifying and challenging these thoughts, individuals can gain control over their emotional reactions and choose more adaptive behaviors.

For example, if someone has a tendency to catastrophize situations and jump to conclusions, they may interpret neutral events as intentional offenses. This can trigger anger and aggressive responses. Through CBT, individuals can learn to recognize these negative thought patterns and replace them with more balanced and realistic thoughts.

By addressing the interplay between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, CBT equips individuals with the skills to  break the cycle of anger . It helps them develop a greater sense of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and adaptive coping mechanisms.

In the next section, we will explore specific techniques used in CBT for anger management, including  cognitive restructuring ,  anger awareness and monitoring ,  relaxation techniques , and  problem-solving skills . These techniques, when applied in conjunction with the principles of CBT, can significantly contribute to managing anger effectively.

Techniques Used in CBT for Anger Management

When it comes to  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  for anger management, several techniques are employed to help individuals effectively manage and control their anger. These techniques focus on modifying negative thought patterns, enhancing self-awareness, promoting relaxation, and developing problem-solving skills. Here are some commonly used techniques in CBT for anger management:

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a fundamental technique in CBT that aims to identify and challenge negative thought patterns associated with anger. Through this technique, individuals are encouraged to examine their thoughts and beliefs about anger-provoking situations and replace them with more rational and constructive thoughts. By reframing their thinking, individuals can gain a more balanced perspective, reducing the intensity and frequency of their anger responses.

To develop cognitive restructuring skills, individuals may work with a therapist to identify and challenge their automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) related to anger. This process involves examining evidence for and against these thoughts, considering alternative explanations, and developing more accurate and adaptive thought patterns.

Anger Awareness and Monitoring

Anger awareness and monitoring involve developing an understanding of one’s anger triggers, physiological responses, and behavioral reactions. This technique emphasizes the importance of recognizing the early signs of anger escalation to intervene before it reaches a point of no return. By increasing self-awareness, individuals can gain better control over their anger and implement coping strategies at an earlier stage.

Therapists may employ various tools, such as anger logs or journals, to help individuals track and analyze their anger episodes. These records can provide valuable insights into patterns, triggers, and underlying emotions associated with anger. By identifying common themes or triggers, individuals can proactively address them and develop strategies to manage their anger more effectively .

Relaxation Techniques

Relaxation techniques play a crucial role in anger management by helping individuals reduce emotional and physiological arousal. These techniques aim to induce a state of relaxation, thereby combating the body’s stress response and promoting a sense of calm.

Common relaxation techniques used in CBT for anger management include deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and mindfulness meditation. These techniques help individuals regulate their breathing, release tension, and shift their focus away from anger-provoking thoughts. Regular practice of relaxation techniques can improve emotional self-regulation and provide individuals with valuable tools for managing anger in daily life.

Problem-Solving Skills

Developing effective problem-solving skills is an essential component of CBT for anger management. This technique focuses on equipping individuals with strategies to address the underlying issues contributing to their anger. By learning and applying problem-solving skills, individuals can identify constructive solutions, make informed decisions, and cope with challenging situations more effectively.

Therapists may guide individuals through a structured problem-solving process that involves defining the problem, generating potential solutions, evaluating their feasibility and potential outcomes, implementing the chosen solution, and evaluating the results. Through this process, individuals can learn to approach anger-provoking situations in a more proactive and constructive manner.

By utilizing these techniques in CBT for anger management, individuals can gain valuable skills and strategies to effectively manage their anger and improve their overall well-being. It’s important to work with a qualified therapist who can tailor these techniques to meet individual needs and provide guidance throughout the therapeutic process.

Working with a CBT Therapist

When it comes to managing anger through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), working with a qualified CBT therapist can be highly beneficial. In this section, we will explore important aspects of working with a CBT therapist, including  finding a qualified therapist ,  what to expect in CBT for anger management , and  the duration and frequency of CBT sessions .

Finding a Qualified Therapist

Finding a qualified CBT therapist is essential for effective anger management treatment. To locate a therapist who specializes in CBT for anger management, individuals can consider several approaches:

• Referrals : Seeking referrals from trusted healthcare professionals, such as primary care physicians or mental health practitioners, can be a reliable way to find qualified CBT therapists. They can provide recommendations based on their knowledge and experience within the field.
• Online Directories : Utilizing online directories that specialize in mental health professionals can help individuals find CBT therapists in their area. These directories often provide information about the therapists’ qualifications, areas of expertise, and contact details. Consider using our article on  CBT therapists near me  as a resource.
• Professional Organizations : Exploring professional organizations such as the Academy of Cognitive Therapy or local psychology associations can provide valuable resources and directories of CBT therapists. These organizations often have strict membership criteria, ensuring that listed therapists meet specific qualifications.

Before finalizing a therapist, individuals may want to schedule an initial consultation or interview to discuss their specific needs, treatment approaches, and therapist-client compatibility.

What to Expect in CBT for Anger Management

CBT for anger management typically involves a structured and collaborative approach between the therapist and the individual seeking treatment. During CBT sessions, individuals can expect:

• Assessment : The therapist will conduct an initial assessment to understand the individual’s unique anger triggers, thought patterns, and behavioral responses. This assessment helps tailor the treatment plan to address specific needs.
• Goal Setting : Together, the therapist and individual will establish specific, measurable goals for anger management. These goals provide direction for therapy and help track progress throughout the treatment process.
• Cognitive Restructuring : CBT for anger management often involves identifying and challenging unhelpful thought patterns that contribute to anger. Through techniques like cognitive restructuring, individuals learn to reframe negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and constructive ones.
• Behavioral Techniques : Therapists may introduce various behavioral techniques to help individuals manage anger effectively. These techniques can include anger awareness and monitoring exercises, relaxation techniques, and problem-solving skills to address anger-provoking situations.
• Homework Assignments : Outside of therapy sessions, individuals may be assigned homework exercises, such as journaling, practicing relaxation techniques, or implementing anger management strategies in real-life situations. These assignments reinforce the skills learned in therapy and promote ongoing progress.
• Regular Review : Throughout CBT for anger management, therapists regularly review treatment progress and reassess goals. This allows for adjustments to be made to the treatment plan as needed.

The Duration and Frequency of CBT Sessions

The duration and frequency of CBT sessions for anger management can vary depending on individual needs and therapist recommendations. Typically, CBT for anger management involves weekly sessions lasting approximately 50 minutes each. However, the duration of treatment can range from a few weeks to several months, depending on the severity of the anger issues and the individual’s progress.

It’s important to note that CBT is a time-limited therapy, meaning it aims to achieve specific treatment goals within a predetermined timeframe. The therapist and individual work collaboratively to establish a treatment plan that suits the individual’s needs while considering the recommended duration and frequency of sessions.

Overall, working with a qualified CBT therapist provides individuals with valuable guidance, support, and evidence-based techniques to effectively manage anger. By following the therapist’s expertise and actively participating in the therapy process, individuals can make significant progress in their anger management journey.

Additional Support for Anger Management

In addition to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) sessions, individuals seeking help with anger management can benefit from various  self-help resources ,  support groups and online communities , and practicing  self-care and stress management  techniques.

Self-Help Resources and Workbooks

Self-help resources and workbooks provide individuals with practical tools and techniques to manage anger independently. These resources often incorporate CBT principles and exercises that can be completed at one’s own pace. They serve as a valuable supplement to therapy sessions, allowing individuals to reinforce what they learn during therapy and practice new coping strategies in their daily lives.

Self-help resources and workbooks may cover topics such as identifying triggers, understanding underlying thoughts and beliefs, and developing effective communication and problem-solving skills. They can be accessed online, in bookstores, or through mental health websites. Some resources may also include interactive worksheets and activities to facilitate self-reflection and personal growth. Check out our collection of  CBT worksheets  for a range of helpful exercises.

Support Groups and Online Communities

Joining support groups and online communities can provide individuals with a sense of belonging and understanding as they navigate their anger management journey. These groups offer a safe space to share experiences, exchange coping strategies, and gain support from individuals facing similar challenges.

Support groups can be found in local communities, facilitated by therapists, or organized by mental health organizations. Online communities and forums provide an additional platform for individuals to connect with others virtually, regardless of geographical location. Engaging with others who are also working on anger management can offer valuable insights, encouragement, and a sense of community.

Recommended: Online Therapy for Anger Management

Practicing Self-Care and Stress Management

Practicing self-care and stress management techniques is essential for overall well-being and can significantly contribute to anger management. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and reduce stress levels can help individuals better regulate their emotions and respond more effectively to anger triggers.

Some self-care practices that can be helpful include regular exercise, mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, engaging in hobbies or creative outlets, getting enough sleep, and maintaining a balanced diet. It’s important to identify and prioritize self-care activities that resonate with personal preferences and needs.

Stress management techniques, such as time management, prioritization, and assertiveness skills, can also play a significant role in anger management. Learning to identify and address stressors in one’s life can reduce the likelihood of anger becoming overwhelming or escalating.

By utilizing self-help resources, participating in support groups, and practicing self-care and stress management techniques, individuals can augment the benefits of CBT for anger management. These additional avenues of support can empower individuals to take an active role in managing their anger and lead to long-term positive outcomes.

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Anger Management for Teens: Helpful Worksheets & Resources

Used strategically, it can help us pursue our goals and, within limits, drive us to find a happier and healthier life in the long run (Young, 2013).

When misplaced or out of control, it can wreck relationships and even lives. In adolescents, severe angry behavior can lead to chronic mental and physical health conditions over time (Travis, 2012).

It is crucial that teenagers understand the links between how they think, feel, and act (Collins-Donnelly, 2012).

This article introduces some practical resources and worksheets to help teenagers recognize anger and manage emotions to avoid outbursts and destructive behavior.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free . These science-based exercises will enhance your ability to understand and work with your emotions and will also give you the tools to foster the emotional intelligence of your clients, students, or employees.

This Article Contains:

Anger management for teens explained, 6 anger management worksheets for teens, best resources for helping youth, 4 educational videos for youth and students, positivepsychology.com’s anger management tools, a take-home message.

Anger in children and teens is an upsetting emotion with the potential for long-term damage if left untreated. While crucial to spot early, parents may be unclear of the cause or triggering factors, and left frustrated regarding how best to help their child (Travis, 2012).

Failure to recognize, understand, and resolve this anger can lead to chronic mental health problems, including anxiety and depression (Travis, 2012).

Teenage anger

Anger is typically expressed differently depending on the age of the child. Adolescent teenagers show their anger in more grown-up ways, most likely using their developed language and motor skills.

The behavior can be extreme and potentially includes “engaging in acts of substance abuse, misconduct behavior, assault, verbal threats, and sexual behavior” (Travis, 2012, p. 3).

To help, the caregiver, parent, teacher, or therapist must understand what triggers the anger – whether normal or out of control – and how to teach coping mechanisms to avoid or calm an angry episode. The chemical composition of the teenage brain is in a constant state of change, with research suggesting angry behavior is associated with a lack of neurotransmitters (Travis, 2012).

As there are many potential triggers for teenagers, it is important to observe whether related behavior tends to occur at a particular time, such as:

• After school
• When hungry or tired
• Following changes to routines
• After viewing particular types of TV shows, movies, or online content

Anger-related behavior in teenagers

Adolescent teens are considerably more independent than younger children and express their anger similarly to adults. Behavior can be irritable, defiant, and high risk, involving various unhealthy or unhelpful acts, such as (Travis, 2012):

• Behaving rudely and disrespectfully to adults
• Getting into altercations and fights with other students
• Fits of rage, losing their temper, and becoming highly vindictive in what they say
• Behavior motivated by payback and revenge
• Engaging in substance abuse
• Declining academic standards; falling behind the mean for their age

Note that while frustrating for close family and friends, anger that is out of control rather than normal can indicate serious and deep emotional issues (Travis, 2012).

In her book Anger Management, Judy Dyer (2020) says that it is crucial to break the anger cycle.

Each angry response begins with a triggering event. It might be another person’s actions, an event, or even a memory (Dyer, 2020).

Then, several irrational thoughts start to form, followed by a series of negative emotions .

If nothing happens to break the process, physical symptoms kick in, such as shaking, sweating, or even feeling sick. Then, finally, potentially out of control, angry, aggressive, or destructive behaviors may begin (Dyer, 2020).

While it sounds like a complicated process with several stages, it can escalate from trigger to outburst surprisingly quickly in the young or someone with limited self-control.

Managing teenage anger

Thankfully, there are many ways that teenagers can learn to combat or reduce their degree of anger, including (modified from Travis, 2012; Buckley, 2020):

• Developing healthy and meaningful connections with a parent or guardian
• Forming well-developed social skills
• Having sufficient sleep is crucial at any age. Poor sleeping habits significantly affect our emotions, how we control them, and our overall mental wellbeing. Teenagers between 13 and 18 years old should get around 8.5 hours of sleep per night (Walker, 2018; Travis, 2012).
• Problem solving — Coming up with more than one solution to a problem.
• Anger management — Thinking before taking action and finding creative or physical outlets for anger.
• Self-reflection — Understanding and reframing situations to make a better assessment of events and the environment.
• Emotional awareness and regulation —  Understanding the emotions that impact us and being capable of managing reactions to them.
• Assertiveness – Identifying when to concede ground and when to push for a desired outcome.

The worksheets and resources that follow help promote practical advice and develop better emotional management skills, language skills (becoming more able to talk about and explore feelings), and self-regulatory skills (improving control over emotions and anger).

It can be beneficial to spend time together exploring the following indications that anger is becoming out of control (Travis, 2012):

• Getting angry at everything that causes stress
• Taking anger too far; for example, talking about seeking revenge or getting the person back for perceived wrongdoings
• Holding onto a grudge for too long or staying angry long after an event has passed
• Small events, such as someone being late, escalating and becoming a source of anger

Rather than covering for angry outbursts or giving in to demands, parents should recognize and understand that such behavior is neither normal nor acceptable (Buckley, 2020).

Instead, parents, teachers, and emotionally-focused therapists can “help the child reflect on their behavior and help provide guidance to coping with their anger” (Travis, 2012, p. 31).

In Starving the Anger Gremlin , Kate Collins-Donnelly (2012, p. 9) suggests a cognitive-behavioral therapy approach to managing anger in young people. She bases her guidance on “the premise that how we interpret experiences and situations has a profound effect on our behaviors and emotions.”

The following worksheets explore how to recognize anger, its triggers, and how to adopt healthier alternative coping styles and behavior (modified from Collins-Donnelly, 2012; Travis, 2012):

Understanding My Anger

Anger can appear unannounced, without warning. It can be helpful to recognize what it feels like early and the sort of behavior that can result (Collins-Donnelly, 2012).

Use the Understanding My Anger worksheet to help the teen identify how often they get angry, what it feels like, and the sort of behavior that arises.

• How often do you get angry?
• What does it feel like physically when you are angry?
• How do you react or behave when you feel angry?
• Can you think of three situations that typically make you angry where you could use more healthy behaviors?

Recognizing what it feels like to be angry and understanding that you have options regarding how you behave can be the first steps to gaining control over your anger.

What Makes Me Angry

We typically believe that other people or events make us angry, but it is our thoughts and beliefs that control our anger. We can, with practice, assume control over our feelings (Collins-Donnelly, 2012).

Use the What Makes Me Angry worksheet to encourage the teen to recognize that they have ultimate control over their anger.

Ask them to make a list of what makes them angry. Then consider each point in turn.

Help them understand that the decision to be angry is down to them. “It’s your thoughts and beliefs that make you angry” (Collins-Donnelly, 2012, p. 29).

Anger is about your reaction to the situation, not the situation itself.

Alternative Thoughts

Often, our thoughts about a situation or something that has happened are irrational and unrealistic. Such thinking can be unhelpful and make us emotional and even angry (Peters, 2018).

Use the Alternative Thoughts worksheet to help the teen recognize unrealistic thoughts and how they may blow the situation out of proportion. Then consider more rational, authentic thinking and how it could change the interpretation of the situation.

Ask them to think of three very specific situations that made them feel angry.

For each one, ask them to consider:

• How were you thinking about the situation when you became angry?
• What are the facts about the situation?
• Were your thoughts realistic and rational?
• What would more realistic and rational thoughts look like?

Reframing irrational thoughts can change the emotions and behaviors that arise.

Keep an anger diary

When there is no one around to talk to or ask for additional help, it can be valuable to capture thoughts and feelings, and self-reflect on angry episodes (Collins-Donnelly, 2012).

Use the Anger Diary worksheet to capture events or episodes that have led to feelings of anger.

The teenager reviews the diary once a week. They reflect on how they reacted to the situation and the consequences, and consider opportunities for using distraction techniques.

Impact of My Anger

Becoming angry can be upsetting for all involved. Often the angry person does not consider the impact they have on other people or the emotions they are left with.

Use the Impact of My Anger worksheet to capture examples of angry behavior and consider who has been impacted and how.

This exercise aims to help teenagers understand that the way we behave can upset others and impact how they feel.

Making Amends for My Angry Outburst

“More intimate relationships carry more emotion” (Peters, 2018, p. 104). When we say sorry to someone for our angry behavior, we send them the message that they and the relationship matter to us.

Teaching teenagers to apologize and offer something to make up for their wrongdoing is a valuable life lesson.

Using the Making Amends worksheet helps teenagers revisit what they have done, apologize for their behavior, and make things right.

Ask the teenager the following:

• What was the situation?
• Who did you upset?
• How were they upset? How would they feel?
• How and when could you apologize?
• How could you make amends?

Download 3 Free Emotional Intelligence Exercises (PDF)

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There are various resources available online that can inspire and educate young minds, help them manage their emotions, and offer essential parenting tips.

• Young Minds This is a practical and helpful resource for teenagers who are keen to better understand the experience and emotions involved in anger. Additional links offer the interested reader additional guidance on depression and anxiety.
• Anger Management for Teens Written for teenagers, this uncomplicated site discusses how anger feels and offers guidance on how it can be managed.
• Deal With Anger This valuable guide for teenagers has practical tools to improve awareness and self-control. The five-step approach to managing anger is particularly beneficial.
• Anger Overload in Children This article offers parents, teachers, or guardians helpful guidance on diagnosing more severe anger issues and practical behavioral and cognitive techniques to assist teenagers in regaining control of their emotions.
• Parenting Angry Teens Try out the six tips for parenting angry teens and recognize that hostile teens are capable of becoming strong, healthy, independent adults.

Several valuable videos are available to help young people maintain or regain control of their emotions and find ways to avoid or reduce angry outbursts.

Try out some of the following with your teenagers:

How to Deal With Anger & Anger Management Tips

This engaging, fun, and insightful video put together with a video game backdrop explores the feelings of anger and the strategies that can help.

5 Keys to Controlling Anger

Anger management specialist Dr. Christian Conte offers helpful anger management tips.

Monitor and Manage Your Anger

Motivational philosopher and HuffPost Rise host Jay Shetty takes the viewer through how to spot, manage, and deal with anger.

Anger Is Your Ally

This excellent TED talk from Juna Mustad explores how to create a healthier relationship with anger through mindfulness techniques.

We have plenty of tools, worksheets, and activities to help anyone recognize angry feelings before they take control and better understand the anger triggers that cause an upset.

• Anger Exit and Re-entry This worksheet helps clients recognize when best to disengage from conflict or difficult conversations, cool down, and re-engage later to facilitate greater insight and joint problem-solving.
• Red Light: Anger! While typically aimed at younger children, this worksheet invites clients to draw pictures of their anger at different intensities and identify early signs of anger using a stop sign analogy.
• The EQ 5-Point Tool This tool can help your clients learn to defuse conflict in an emotionally intelligent way using brief, respectful, and clear communication.
• Spot-Check of Your Anger This worksheet presents a series of questions to help clients mindfully focus on signals of rising anger and consider appropriate actions to take in response.
• Recommended reading This selection of anger management books includes various options and workbooks, just right for helping with teenager problems.

17 Emotional Intelligence Exercises If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others develop emotional intelligence, this collection contains 17 validated EI tools for practitioners. Use them to help others understand and use their emotions to their advantage.

17 Exercises To Develop Emotional Intelligence

These 17 Emotional Intelligence Exercises [PDF] will help others strengthen their relationships, lower stress, and enhance their wellbeing through improved EQ.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

While anger in an appropriate situation can be beneficial, it must be to the “right degree, at the right time, and for the right purpose” (Young, 2013). Otherwise, misplaced or disproportionate anger can be damaging for the individual and those around (Travis, 2012).

At school, children may exhibit anger and adopt risky behavior, break the rules, skip classes, and engage in potentially harmful pranks. Typically, teens with anger issues have not learned appropriate coping mechanisms or been taught the skills needed to manage their anger (Travis, 2012).

Without clear guidelines in place or structures to control their anger, teenagers can have difficulty understanding the impact of their actions on others or themselves.

However, children and young adults can learn skills that help them avoid triggers that lead to angry behavior, assist in managing irate outbursts, and provide the means to restore calm (Collins-Donnelly, 2012).

Teenagers can develop the capacity to understand and cope with their anger-related issues and acquire anger management skills much better than younger children. As language skills develop, soon-to-be adults can be taught to better explain and reflect on their feelings and process their emotions (Collins-Donnelly, 2012).

Learning self-regulatory skills can help control angry impulses, “their retaliations, frustration level, and anger arousal state, and limit their emotional outbursts” (Travis, 2012, p. 394).

Try out some of the worksheets and resources in this article with the teenagers exhibiting anger issues. Crucially, they can help young adults recognize and voice their own emotions and develop the skills needed to manage rather than escalate feelings of anger.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free .

• Buckley, D. (2020, August 27). Strategies for teenagers’ anger management. BetterHelp . Retrieved June 15, 2021, from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/anger/strategies-for-teenagers-anger-management/
• Collins-Donnelly, K. (2012). Starving the anger gremlin: A cognitive behavioural therapy workbook on anger management for young people . Jessica Kingsley.
• Dyer, J. (2020). Anger management: How to take control of your emotions and find joy in life . Pristine.
• Peters, S. (2018). The silent guides: Understanding and developing the mind throughout life . Lagom.
• Travis, R. L. (2012). Overcoming anger in teens and pre-teens: A parent’s guide . Author.
• Young, E. (2013, February 6). Do get mad: The upside of anger. New Scientist. Retrieved June 15, 2021, https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21729032-700-do-get-mad-the-upside-of-anger/
• Walker, M. P. (2018). Why we sleep: The new science of sleep and dreams . Penguin Books.

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What our readers think.

I have understood now that having anger can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you use it. You can use it for protecting yourself or even someone else. But you can also abuse your ability of anger by bullying people, fighting for an unnecessary reason, or even just being a jerk. These are three favorite things to do when I get angry; number one is to take five or ten deep breaths, number two do about 10 or 20 push ups, number three scream or fight your pillow. All of these things will help let all of that anger, stress, and anxiety that has been building up inside of you. You can use these when you feel like you need to calm down and take a breather. Next time someone makes me mad or stressed I know what to do when that time comes, I can either take deep breaths, do push ups, or let it all out on my pillow when I get home. I have also learned how to not take things too seriously. If you take things too seriously no one is going to want to joke around with you because everytime they make a joke you get all in your feelings and start to get upset and angry at the person who made the joke. Also if people know that you can’t take a joke no one is gonna want to be your friend, because no one wants a friend that can make jokes but can’t take jokes, if you get mad that someone is joking with you and you get mad that is not fair to the person that wants to have fun, your not the only one who can make jokes and get away with it, other people want to have fun to, and that is why we all need to control our anger.

Is there a therapist in the Seattle who works with this issues with adoloscents?

Hi Suzanne,

Thank you for your question. As we are not based in the US, it is difficult for us to make recommendations for reliable therapists. I suggest you look for a therapist directory in your area and filter your search.

I hope this helps 🙂

Kind regards, -Caroline | Community Manager

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