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  • May 17, 2023

What is the Order of Wedding Speeches in the UK

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to wedding speeches, but if you want to know the traditional order in the uk, we've got all the details..

The wedding speeches are typically delivered during the couple's wedding reception, either before or after dinner. While there is no strict order you must follow, getting the order of wedding speeches in a good, natural order can bring a smooth feel to operations on the day.

What is the Order of Wedding Speeches in the UK bride and groom

Traditionally, the toastmaster or master of ceremonies will present the speeches after dinner. But these days, couples are increasingly looking to mix things up. For example, some are choosing to have the speeches before the wedding breakfast so the speech-givers can relax and enjoy their meal, without feeling nervous. While others have arranged to have a speech between each course, so guests don't have to listen to a solid block of speakers.

We're living in modern times, and when it comes to weddings, there is no reason to keep to tradition . Especially if your speakers do not fall into the 'traditional' categories. However, if you would like to check what order wedding speeches in the UK have always been done in, we're here to share it with you.

Our Guide to the Order of UK Wedding Speeches

The traditional order of UK wedding speeches is, father of the bride, groom, best man, and then additional toasts. In same-sex weddings, it's typical for both partners to speak, although often it's just one who does.

The Father of the Bride Speech

Traditionally, the father of the bride is the first to speak in the wedding speech sequence, especially if he has contributed financially to the wedding.

The bride's father's speech should include;

— A welcome to all the guests, and an expression of gratitude for their attendance and participation in the wedding.

— A thank you to everyone who donated to the cost of the wedding.

— Compliments to the bride and the sharing of some charming stories.

— A welcoming of the bride's new spouse into the family, remarking on what a fantastic couple they are.

— Toast to the newly-weds.

The Groom’s Speech

Typically, the groom comes second in the proceedings, and it's nice if he can riff off of the father of the bride speech – but not necessary!

The groom's speech should include;

— A thank you for the toast from the bride's father.

— A Thank you to everyone who came and for their presents.

— A Thank you to both sets of parents for hosting the wedding, donating to the event, or simply being wonderful parents! This includes expressing gratitude to the bride's parents for accepting him into their family.

— Compliments to the bride and maybe the sharing of how they met.

— Thanks and toasts to the wedding party's important members, including the best man, groomsmen/ushers, chief bridesmaid/maid of honour, and bridesmaids.

— A thank you to all the wedding suppliers, including the venue, photographer, caterers, and so on.

What is the Order of Wedding Speeches in the UK raising a toast

The Best Man’s Speech

The wedding speech is one of many tasks expected of the best man, and it comes with much pressure these days. It's customarily the last wedding speech, and everyone expects it to be amusing.

The best man's speech generally contains the following;

— Thank you for the groom's toasts.

— Place the new couple further into the spotlight. This usually involves some humorous jokes, anecdotes, or hilarious stories about the groom. Just don't confuse, offend, or bore the audience.

— Make a remark about the bride, generally about how happy she makes the groom.

— Read any words sent from distant relatives and friends.

— Finally, a toast to the bride and groom is made.

The Other Wedding Speeches

While the above is the traditional order of wedding speeches in the UK, there may well be other members of the wedding party that would like to raise a glass too. Many weddings, for example, include a speech from the bride, maid of honour, and father of the groom.

In the order of wedding speeches, these other ones usually come after the groom's speech and before the best man's speech, or after the best man's, it's totally up to you!

The Bride’s Speech

While brides' speeches haven't been as common as grooms' or fathers of the bride's speeches in the order of wedding speeches for as long. It's becoming more and more frequent for women to want to say a few things during their wedding reception – and we're all for it!

This can include, similar to the groom's speech:

— Thanks to the father of the bride for his toast, as well as both sets of parents for their attendance and contributions to the wedding. She may also express gratitude to her partner's family for embracing her into the fold.

— Complements to her partner.

— Thanks to guests for their attendance and any gifts.

— Thanks to bridesmaids .

— Thank you to the wedding suppliers.

— Propose a toast.

The Maid of Honour’s Speech

Maid of honour/chief bridesmaid wedding speeches, like brides' speeches, are becoming more popular. They, like the best man speech, are a lovely moment for fun and comedy.

The maid of honour's speech usually contains the following;

— A Thank you for the bride's speech.

— Loving comments on the happy couple and the sharing of stories about the bride.

— Congratulations to the groomsmen/ushers.

— A final toast to the happy couple.

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speeches at a wedding uk

Wedding speeches can be as nerve-wracking for the bride and groom as for those delivering them – What if the best person says something inappropriate? Is Dad feeling nervous? What on earth does my Person of Honour have planned?  

However, this doesn’t mean she can’t try to prepare herself for what is to come, nor can she be stopped from lending a helping hand to those preparing speeches… 

If this screams you and you can’t wait to offer out some advice to those writing their speeches, then you might like to take a look at the below information which details what each person traditionally says in his or her speech and when.

The traditional order of speeches and what they should say

speeches at a wedding uk

Father of the bride/groom

Most speeches will kick off right at the beginning of the wedding reception, when the Father of the Bride will traditionally welcome the guests and introduce the married couple (if the toastmaster hasn’t already done so). It has long been customary for the bride’s father to give the first speech as it was often the bride’s family who paid for or contributed the most financially towards the wedding. 

During his speech, the father (representative) of the bride will ordinarily welcome the groom into his family, compliment his daughter and tell heartfelt stories about her life before marriage. He will then explain why she and his new son-in-law are such a great match and will end his speech with a toast to the newlyweds.

speeches at a wedding uk

During his speech, the groom will no doubt gush over his amazing new bride/groom but he’ll also take the time to pay tribute to the bridesmaids and both sets of parents. He may thank his own Mum and Dad (where relevant) for raising him and giving him all the opportunities in life which led him to this happy moment in time, while also thanking his in-laws for raising such a wonderful daughter and accepting him into their family.

speeches at a wedding uk

Best Man/Best Person

The Best Man, who normally gives the final speech of the day, will praise the bridesmaids once again and compliment the beautiful bride. But then, when all the niceties are over and he has tried his best not to embarrass his best friend’s wife too much, his attention will quickly turn to roasting the groom himself. 

Funny anecdotes will definitely be on the cards, as might a few tales from the stag do.

Before raising a glass for the bride and groom for the last time, he may be asked to read out messages from – or ask everyone in the room to remember – absent guests.

The best time for wedding speeches to take place

At the start of the wedding reception

As previously mentioned, most speeches will get underway at the start of the reception, however this does not have to be the way. 

The benefit of having the speeches out of the way early on is that those nervously awaiting their turn can get theirs off their chest relatively early on and enjoy the rest of the day!

During the wedding reception

Some couples, particularly if they have a large wedding and want to ensure their guests have distractions at various points throughout the day, may choose to stagger the speeches or hold all of the dialogue in between courses. Not only does this help to keep the room entertained when waiting on their next dish, it usually means that the guests – and more importantly the speech givers – will have had a glass of bubbly to calm their nerves by then! 

That being said, not everyone settles their nerves with an alcoholic beverage so you might simply be putting your loved one through more torture as he sits waiting for his big moment.

After wedding reception

Depending on the structure of your day, your order of service might flow differently from the above and it may call for speeches later in the day, possibly even after the wedding breakfast. It’s important to make sure the timing works for you and your plans for the day!

Alternative wedding speeches

Maid of honour/Person of honour

Of course, it doesn’t have to fall to the Best Man to give a speech. Or perhaps you want your girl to give a killer Maid of Honour speech to rival his! Either way, a Maid of Honour speech is a really nice way to bring more of your personality to the speeches, enabling her to share stories about you as an individual as well as your partnership. 

A word of warning, though… if your Maid of Honour has a reputation for getting overly emotional then tell her to keep it light-hearted and leave the tears for your father and the groom!

speeches at a wedding uk

Though quite rare, brides will sometimes take the microphone at their own wedding, as a way of showing their appreciation to all of those involved. And, come to think of it, if a bride is heavily involved in the planning of her wedding then it seems only fair that she should be the one to welcome her guests and thank those around her for the support offered. Not only that but it is nice to hear loving words from the bride’s perspective as well as from her hubby’s.

speeches at a wedding uk

We know, of course, that not all families are ‘traditional’. If, for instance, you are one of a same sex couple, then you may choose a different path entirely for your speeches and opt for both fathers (and/or mothers) to give a speech, in addition to the two of you.

Similarly, we acknowledge that not all couples have both sets of parents and therefore it might fall upon the mother of the bride, a sibling or even a dear friend, to give a heartfelt speech and represent the family.

Tips to make your speeches go smoothly

As much as it makes you uncomfortable to think about what could be said during the speeches, it’s important to remind yourself that the people at your wedding love you and have nothing but respect for you both. 

But to ensure that the speeches go without a hitch, we suggest that you keep chasing up those who have been asked to deliver a speech (to ensure they are prepared rather than to be nosy). It’s also a good idea to task your husband-to-be with checking in on the Best Man before the big day to ensure that his speech is suitable (because, let’s face it, he’s the one to watch!). 

And, lastly, we recommend telling your father, Best Man or whoever is due to be addressing the crowd that there is no pressure to write an essay. A few simple and sincere words from those you simply and sincerely love is all you need.

speeches at a wedding uk

Traditional Wedding Speech Order Explained

speeches at a wedding uk

Now that the rest of the planning has been arranged, it’s time to sort out the speeches. Understandably, the speeches are nerve-wracking, particularly for those who are giving them. You want to ensure that as well as the speeches themselves, the transition into the next is a smooth one. If you’re in a panic about which order the speeches should go in, don’t worry, take a look at this guide to help you out.

Traditionally speeches are given after the dinner, but many couples are mixing it up and putting their own spin on it. You may choose to split the meal up and have the speeches between main course and desert. Others may choose to have the speeches before. You can also choose to have your speeches at the beginning of the evening reception so that all your guests can watch. 

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The running order will all be dependent on your desire to either stick to tradition or to stray from the rules. Remember that you don’t have to stay with the order we suggest, they are only guidelines and if you want to throw the rule book out the window and choose your mother to make the speech first, then so be it. It’s your wedding day.

Important family members may be absent and you might want someone to stand up and raise a glass to those who cannot be present first. Use our guide as a template and jumble it around to your hearts content.

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Father of the Bride

It’s all about tradition here as originally a bride’s family would either pay for or contribute a large amount to the wedding. It was here that it seemed only right for the father of the bride to stand up and thank all the guests for celebrating the day with them. Tradition has of course passed on to modern days and still appears throughout weddings. Although a lot of couples pay for weddings themselves these days, the father of the bride will still be the first to stand up and make a toast. Once he has thanked the guests, he should welcome the groom into his family and say something lovely about the bride. Depending on the length of the speech, the father should take this opportunity to say something funny about his daughter (the bride). For fantastic tips on writing the Father of the Bride speech click here . 

After the father of the bride has welcomed the groom to the family, this is now time for the groom to stand up and say his part. Usually thanking the bride’s family first, the key members of the wedding party, the bridesmaids and of course his own parents. The rest of the speech should be about his relationship to his partner, perhaps reminiscing on when you met. 

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Writing a groom’s speech can be difficult and trying to get words onto paper can be tricky. Take a look at our guide on how to write the perfect grooms speech here ; it might just save your skin!

In this day and age, it’s highly unfair that it’s only the men who propose a toast and speech. It shouldn’t just be the men. The women of the wedding party are just as important! Brides (if you’re feeling up to it) this is when you should stand and say your speech. Although it’s not traditional, we believe if the bride wants to, she should be able to make a toast as well! The bride should thank the groom and his parents first and then perhaps her bridesmaids and parents. The rest of the speech should then be about her relationship to her partner and possibly some funny stories added in. 

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 The Best Man

Ah, the long- awaited best man’s speech which can either create lots of laughs or lots of tension! If you want to stick with tradition and skip the bride’s speech, the best man will be toasted by the groom. He will then stand up and say his part, normally talking about the groom and stories from their friendship. He must always mention the bride and congratulate the happy couple. Remember, not all best man speeches have to be funny! For our best tips on writing the ultimate best man speech, take a look at this article . 

speeches at a wedding uk

Maid of Honour

If the best man can make a speech, so can the maid of honour! It might even turn out to be much funnier. Dependent on who goes first, the best man should toast to the maid of honour after his speech. The maid of honour should comment on the newlyweds and their relationship. She should also describe her relationship to the bride and perhaps tell a funny story or two (maybe even add a joke). 

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As it’s 2017 and same sex marriages are finally legal in the UK, the order of the speeches will definitely change. There could be two father-of-the-bride speeches or there could also be two father-of-the-groom speeches or perhaps their mothers instead. 

Use our list as a guideline and make your own order that will work out better for you. It might just be that your father is terrible at speeches so best to leave him last rather than first! You might even choose to leave the best man’s speech out and only have your sensible maid of honour. 

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 Other people can make a speech too, they don’t necessarily have to be part of the wedding party. Perhaps a friend who set you both up all those years ago will want to say a word or two, or you might choose your granny to say a few words. It’s your wedding and entirely up to you. Just remember that these speeches should stay short and reasonable, you don’t want your guests to end up bored and frustrated!

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This blog post is written by the team at TheWeddingSecret.co.uk. Their website helps couples find the ideal wedding venues and suppliers in their local area along with lots of other helpful tricks and tips. You can check them out here .

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Bride and mother of the bride or mother of the groom giving speech at wedding

Speeches used to be a low point at most weddings. A stressful burden for those who had to do the talking and an endurance test for those doing the listening, they were generally regarded as a bit of a joke. Even that extra glass of fizz for the toasts often felt like a bribe.

Not any more though: these days, the speeches are more likely to be a central moment of the day and something guests really want to be part of.

We asked Heidi Ellert-McDermott, founder of the witty speech-writing service Speechy and author of The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches , to give us the lowdown on everything we need to know about who to ask, what to say and how to say it.

The Modern Couple's Guide to Wedding Speeches book by Heidi Ellert-McDermott

Who should make a speech at a wedding?

You don’t need to stick with tradition, the honest answer is whoever you like!

“Start by asking yourself who exactly you want to hear from on the day,” says Heidi. “If you didn’t know anything about a traditional wedding speech line-up, who would you want to give a speech?”

Like most aspects of a wedding, there are no longer any hard and fast rules. “No one – not your dad, the groom or the best man – has to speak. Sure, the traditional speakers may add something special to your day and be the right choice for you, but this isn’t necessarily the case.”

Instead, Heidi advises casting your net wider than tradition suggests. “Family dynamics have changed dramatically over the last few decades and the line-up is finally recognising this,” she points out. “Brothers, bridesmaids and mums are all vying for a bit of airtime, so couples are freer to put together a much better, more exciting line-up.” So, who might you consider asking?

Should the bride give a speech?

We’ve come a long way from the old male-dominated arrangement (what was that about anyway?) – and it’s about blooming time too. But which women should be invited up to say a few words? Well, how about you?

As someone who gave a speech at her own wedding, Heidi is a huge advocate for both halves of the couple delivering a toast. “Of course, no one should feel pressured to do anything they don’t want to do on their wedding day, but at least have a think about giving a speech,” she says.

“Mine ended up being one of my favourite moments of the whole day and something I’ll look back on fondly for years to come. I’d encourage other brides-to-be not to dismiss the idea as simply another ‘to do’.”

brides giving speeches during their wedding reception

What should the bride say?

Heidi believes that rather than thinking of it as making a feminist statement, giving a bride’s speech is a joy – and one not to be missed. “It’s a once-in-lifetime-opportunity to drop a lovebomb on everyone you care about.

“No one speaks ‘on behalf’ of you, and you can personally thank all your favourite people (and a few plus-ones) for coming,” she smiles.

“A great speech is the ultimate gift to your parents, friends and other half: a moment in time where you acknowledge just how much they mean to you.”

It’s your big day, so when it comes to making a speech, say it your way!

How to overcome nerves

“Times have changed. We’re working with more and more brides – and they’re all very different. Some are confident, some are shy. Some are naturally funny, some are more sentimental and romantic,” says Heidi.

“I like to remind brides that no one is expecting you to be a stand-up comedian or a modern-day poet. Everyone in the room will just be delighted to hear, first-hand, how you feel about getting hitched.”

Of course, if you decide that you’d actually rather just sit back and sip the champers, that’s fine – but consider asking the other brilliant women in your life to step up to the mic instead. Perhaps your maid of honour would give a great speech. Most mums usually have a few words of wisdom to share. Or maybe your partner’s sister has some advice on how to handle her sibling in the years ahead. And, remember, the best speaker might not even be seated at the top table…

Mother of the bride makes a speech at a wedding

Get more of the family involved

Take a look at guests from the younger and older generations. Regardless of whether your grandparents decide to reveal a nugget of wisdom, or an embarrassing moment from their babysitting days, anything they share is guaranteed to get the room smiling. “Cheeky marriage advice from your granny will always go down well – the ruder the better, generally!”

And then we have the youngsters, an idea that works especially well if you and your partner already have children, but can also extend to any little person who means a lot to you.

“Their contribution depends on their age,” cautions Heidi. “If it’s a teenager, you might suggest they give you marriage advice using quotes from their favourite Harry Potter book or Star Wars film. Or it might be quite endearing – and revealing – to hear your eight-year-old stepdaughter’s advice on how to look after her dad in the years ahead.”

And she has another genius suggestion: “You could even consider getting younger children to hold up comedy cards (à la Love Actually) when you or your partner deliver your speeches,” suggests Heidi. “There’s nothing better than a four-year-old heckler to get people laughing.”

Who should start the speeches?

Traditionally you’d expect to hear from the father of the bride first then the groom, best man and any other guests. But you can switch it up to whatever suits you.

An idea that works well at boho, festival-style weddings is what’s known as Scandi-speeches, where guests are invited to stand up, say a few words and propose a toast if they so fancy. The Scandinavians have been doing speeches like this for decades and it’s a great way to ensure you hear well-wishes, heartfelt sentiments and funny anecdotes from lots of your friends and family. It also takes the pressure off the traditional speakers.

By putting a note in the invites (and announcing a reminder before the meal is served), couples can let their guests know they’re welcome to raise a glass at any point over dinner. “Spontaneous speeches can be a lot of fun and a good way to ensure your guests feel more involved in the day,” says Heidi.

How many people should speak at a wedding?

Once you’ve started thinking about who might add something brilliant to your speaker line-up, you may feel you’re spoilt for choice. But, if you don’t fancy the Scandinavian idea, how do you narrow down the number of speakers – and do you even need to?

Heidi advises having no more than five speakers (“at the very most!”) and if you’re having that many, be clear that their speeches must be between five and ten minutes long. No speech should exceed 1,300 words.

Maid of honour gives wedding toast

When should the speeches happen?

If you have a few speeches to get through, they don’t all have to be delivered at once. “Guests do not want to listen to an hour of speeches! If you’re having more than three speakers, my advice is to schedule the speeches throughout the wedding meal; one before, two after the main course, and one final funny one after dessert,” says Heidi.

What do you say in a wedding speech?

Ideally you want all of the speeches to work well together and cover all of the right points without too much overlap, so you might want to give your speech-givers some guidelines.

Across the speeches, you should have; someone paying tribute to each of the newlyweds, and one, or both, of the newlyweds paying tribute to the other and their guests.

In the mix, you want some humour, some great storytelling and some lovely sentiment. You want to get everyone in the room rooting for your marriage and in the mood to party. You want tears, laughter, insights and maybe the odd revelation or two.

Now, it’s over to you to think who’s most likely to deliver that – and relish the opportunity to do so!

Tips for giving a great speech

The key to delivering a good speech is to be prepared. Start by writing down all of the points you want to talk about and then you can start shaping it into a speech. Remember to introduce yourself and how you know the newlyweds (if it’s not already obvious).

It’s a good idea to get familiar with what you want to say and how you want to say it , delivery is key especially if you’re slipping in a few jokes. While you’re practicing, time yourself so you know how long it takes you to say it comfortably and this will help you determine whether you need to cut anything out or add on more.

If you’re being asked to do a speech, you probably know the couple well, so draw on your memories with them and what you know about their unique love story. Keep in mind what kind of stories they want their entire family to hear as well!

Here’s to some wonderful speeches!

Check out these tips for including your family and friends in your ceremony

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05 Mar Order of speeches at wedding UK

Weddings are a special time of celebration and joy, and the order of speeches is an important part of the big day. If you’re planning your own wedding or attending someone else’s, it helps to understand the order of speeches at a wedding in the UK.

In this blog post, we will explore the traditional order of speeches at weddings in the UK so that you can plan ahead for your own special day or know what to expect if you’re attending a friend or family member’s wedding. We will also provide some tips on how to make sure each speech goes smoothly and everyone enjoys them!

Remember, this is the “traditional” order but there’s no reason why you can’t mix it up a bit to fit with the needs of your day.

Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom, then the best man and finally, any other speakers. However, couples are free to mix up this order as it fits their own individual wedding needs.

Order of speeches at wedding UK

1) father of the bride.

There is no better moment at a wedding than the father of the bride speech! He gets to kick off the festivities with the first toast, so expectations are high! This is often an emotional time for Dad, as he gets to share his love and pride for his daughter. So grab your tissues, have some fun prepared quips, and get ready for an unforgettable speech—just make sure you take it easy on those jokes!

Keep things brief – a long, drawn-out affair is not going to be enjoyable for anyone.

Share stories – your daughter and her new husband will love hearing about the adventures you’ve shared over the years.

Thank everyone – don’t forget to thank all of the guests, family members, and vendors who helped make this special day possible.

2) The Groom

Next, the focus shifts to the Groom’s speech. Often dripping with sweat with all eyes on him! Certainly a nerve-wracking experience but get this right, and the Groom will be in the good books of everyone!

This speech comes after the father of the bride and is a chance to make your mark before the Best Man’s speech which may be harsher in comparison.

Keep it light – the last thing anyone wants is for the Groom to come across as too serious or nervous.

Try to speak from the heart – this is a great opportunity for the Groom to tell the Bride how much he loves her and why.

The groom’s toast should be memorised.

Use a microphone. More tips on wedding speeches found on this page

Nervous speakers may wish to do the speeches before the wedding breakfast as they will at least be able to enjoy the food.

Photography by Jordan Fox Photography

3) The Best Man

Third in line comes the Best man’s speech. An opportunity to steal the show? Perhaps. An opportunity to ruin the day? You better believe it!

Too often, I’ve seen a Best Man’s speech stink the place out with inappropriate tales of filth, unplanned rambling and a lack of structure.

As they’re traditionally the last speech of the day, this wedding speech carries a certain responsibility that shouldn’t be overlooked.

A well-planned speech will ensure the remainder of the wedding reception continues in good spirits.

Top tips : KISS – keep it simple, stupid! Say a few words, ensure you compliment the bride, memorise a final toast and GET OUT OF THERE!

Plan ahead – writing out a speech with bullet points and rehearsing it is key!

Know your audience – not everyone wants to hear tales of debauchery, so focus on the Bride and Groom and their story.

Additional speeches:

This is the traditional order of speeches, but there may be additional wedding speeches if you have other close family and friends who want to say a few words. These can be scheduled anywhere within the reception and should not disrupt the natural flow of the event.

For same-sex couples, it’s not unusual for both sets of parents to give speeches too.

Maid of honour

Bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’s speeches are also becoming increasingly popular and the order is completely up to the couple themselves.

Just ensure the running order is communicated clearly to all speakers so that everyone knows when it’s their turn.

Bride’s Speech

And why not! Should the Groom not wish to be involved in the speeches, we often see the Bride take the lead to give a speech of her own!

This is an excellent opportunity for the Bride to express her thanks and appreciation for everyone who has been involved in the wedding planning process. She can also use this time to thank her husband-to-be and share some memories from their relationship.

The Groom’s parents

You may find that the father or mother of the groom would like to express their kind words at the wedding too. These key members of the wedding party shouldn’t miss out on this opportunity due to a traditional running order.

Wedding speeches before or after food?

If you’re a “normal” guest at a wedding , you want the speeches AFTER the wedding breakfast, right? I mean, it’s already been many hours since you had breakfast and those mini sausages they were handing out during the drinks reception didn’t quite fill that ever-increasing hole in your stomach!

Therefore, the majority of your guests want speeches after.

However, think of the poor speakers. If you’re the Groom or Best Man, it’s likely that you’ll be a nervous wreck and have butterflies in your stomach. The delicious 3-course banquet is completely wasted on those poor souls!

So what to do?

Being prepared is often the key to tackling any nerves your speakers may have. A well-rehearsed speech will conquer many of the issues and allow you to enjoy your food first and then deliver a memorable speech.

Each wedding day is different so do whatever works for you and if that means your guests go longer without food, ensure they’re warned prior. A few extra snacks during the drinks reception wouldn’t go a miss!

Order of speeches at wedding UK:

There you go – a traditional wedding speech order for the happy couple’s special day . Speeches can over be the most dreaded part for both speaker and guest alike, but with some careful planning and preparation, they can be the highlight of the wedding reception .

About Chris

Chris, the Wedding Magician is an industry expert who specialises in creating unforgettable moments for couples and their guests. With over 20 years of experience performing at weddings up and down the country, Chris has earned a reputation as one of the UK’s top wedding magicians. He combines his skills as an entertainer with his expertise in understanding what makes people tick to create truly unique experiences that will leave your guests talking about it long after your big day. Whether you’re looking for close-up magic during drinks receptions or during evening entertainment , Chris can provide something special that will leave lasting memories.

Related posts:

  • Wedding Planning Timeline
  • How to Write a Wedding Speech!
  • What they don’t tell you about weddings
  • What is the reception at a wedding?

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A GUIDE TO WEDDING SPEECHES

Planning ideas, timings and tips on how to make and present the best wedding speech on the big day.

Weddings traditionally have a time, usually during or after  the wedding breakfast , dedicated to speeches congratulating the couple and reminiscing on memories together. Whilst they are not a part of everyone’s celebrations, they certainly do add an element of entertainment to the day. If speeches are a must for your big day, we’re sharing everything you need to know about planning and delivering the perfect wedding speech!

Why are wedding speeches important?

A round of entertaining speeches can go a long way to make a reception more personal to you and your loved ones. It’s a point of reflection of your time together through the eyes of you and your nearest and dearest and what memories have stuck with them through the years. Speeches can be sentimental, nostalgic and sure to make your guests roar with laughter. They are also the perfect time to thank everyone for being with you, and to guests who may have travelled from around the world to celebrate your special day.

It’s also a time to recognise the work people have put into making your big day happen. A place to address the  bridesmaids , groomsmen, parents, flower girls and page boys to let them know that they are appreciated not only for their wedding planning help but for the years of support, love and guidance they have given to you both.

Wedding speeches can be a way for your friends and family to wish you and your other half good health, luck and happiness for your future together as a couple. It’s a rare opportunity to have all your loved ones together in one room, and they’re all there to celebrate you.

groom wedding speech

When should the wedding speeches happen?

The easiest and most effective time to host speeches is usually after your sit-down meal when everyone is in one space, and they can give their full undivided attention to the speaker. Whilst most people will tend to stick to this, there are no hard and fast rules as to how you should do this. The day is all yours and your  wedding venue  will understand that every wedding is unique. Here are a few alternative timings to have your speeches:

  • Before the meal so that speakers get to enjoy eating
  • Broken up throughout the meal
  • In the evening when the party is in full swing
  • Throughout the day, e.g at the ceremony, drinks reception, sit-down meal etc…

It’s always important to remember that tradition is not for everyone, some like to have a more classic wedding style however breaking convention and making your own rules is more suited to a lot of couples.

Who gives the wedding speeches?

Below is a list of people who traditionally give a speech and the general running order. This is just a guideline and by no means do you have to stick to this:

  • Father of the bride or groom

However nowadays it is common for the bride, the mother of the bride, maid of honour, mother of the groom and a sibling to also have planned or improvised speeches. It’s completely down to you who takes the microphone on your big day just bear in mind if you don’t want any suprises to brief everyone beforehand.

grooms speech

How long should individual wedding speeches last?

There is no set time on how long the speeches should be, because you know if your father is a talker and one to go on a tangent or if your best man is one to crack all the jokes that will keep your guests in fits of laughter.

Your wedding venue will just ask that you overcompensate when considering timings as this leaves room for any extra surprises they may not have let you in on!

From our experience, speeches tend to follow the below time frame: Father of the Bride – 5 minutes Groom – 5-10 minutes Best Man – 10-15 minutes

speeches at a wedding uk

A quick guide for individual wedding speeches

Father of the bride/groom:

  • Opens the speeches and thanks the guests for coming
  • Says a few heart-warming words about his daughter/son and welcomes the groom/bride into the family
  • Proposes a toast to the happy couple

The groom :

  • Thanks his other half’s father for his speech (and the parents for the wedding if appropriate) and the toast
  • Explains how happy he is to be married to his beautiful new partner (toast to the partner)
  • Proposes a toast to the bridesmaids and thanks groomsmen etc. Gives out any thank you bouquets or presents

The best man/woman:

  • Says a few words about the Groom (not always the most flattering)
  • Talk about the couple and memories they have shared
  • Congratulate and toast the happy couple on behalf of everyone
  • Announces what happens next

speeches at a wedding uk

Top tips to ace your wedding speech

You can’t prepare too much

The last thing anybody wants is for you to get on stage and forget what you’re saying, there’s no shame in having cue cards and prompts, it will keep you confident and the rest will come naturally.

Get personal

Speeches are a perfect time to tug on those heartstrings, use small anecdotes to let people know you really care and listen. If you write about a time that has meaning to you, you are sure to talk with passion.

This sounds like a given but you would be surprised. Eye contact is key for any public speech, this allows you and your guests to have a connection and will, in turn, make you both remember that moment.

This part is obvious, everyone has come to see you happy so give them what the people want. This could be considered the best part of a wedding, when else do you get to share all of your love, memories, and jokes with your family and friends in one space?

How to write a wedding speech: The ultimate expert tips & examples to impress

Discover top examples and templates to help you master the perfect wedding speech.

A best man giving a wedding speech

Public speaking can be a daunting prospect at any time, but especially at a wedding , when you want to ensure it sets the tone for the occasion and is remembered for all the right reasons.

Perhaps you want to nail the perfect best man's speech , share your love and pride as father of the bride, or you may even want to break tradition and give a speech as the bride or maid of honour, just as Meghan Markle did at her 2018 wedding to Prince Harry . Regardless of your role in the nuptials, there are a few key things to consider when writing your speech and rehearsing ahead of the big day – from what to include (and the stories that are better left omitted).

But fear not, with our expert tips and wedding speech templates and examples you can not only learn how to write a wedding speech, but also deliver it with confidence.

speeches at a wedding uk

How to write a wedding speech

Start your wedding speech writing process with a brainstorming session, jotting down anything you think you should include, any particular anecdotes that spring to mind, and thinking about your relationship to the soon-to-be newlyweds.

MORE: How many people should I invite to my wedding?

It may also be helpful to consider other factors, such as who will be speaking before or after you, as you may want to reference their speech, or introduce the next speaker. Think about who will be in the audience too; weddings typically host guests of all ages and backgrounds, so inside jokes and embarrassing stories that may make close friends and younger guests laugh could fall flat with older members of the congregation.

There are some formalities you may need to cover too, including thanking certain people for planning and hosting the wedding, for attending the big day, or paying a heartfelt tribute to loved ones who are missing from the occasion.

Wedding speech template

While the style and content of your speech will be unique to you, there are a few key things you may want to include from the template below.

speeches at a wedding uk

  • Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple. Of course, you won't need to do this if you are one of the newlyweds.
  • Thank guests for attending the wedding and joining the celebrations.
  • Share anecdotes about the couple – perhaps you may want to share a favourite memory of them, or tell a story about the bride or groom that guests would like to hear, before relating it back to the couple now.
  • Wrap it up by sharing your wishes for the newlyweds and invite guests to join you in a toast.
  • End by thanking the audience and introducing the next speaker if needed.

READ: Who should sit on the top table at your wedding? Dos and Don'ts

Wedding speech tips

Matthew Shaw , creative director and founder of sauveur. , shares his six top wedding speech tips to help you both when writing your speech and delivering it on the big day.

1. Stick to an angle

 "Speeches can sprawl quite easily when you're trying to cover so much and this makes them difficult to follow. When you first start planning your speech it's definitely helpful to throw lots of ideas around but then try to focus on an overall theme or approach. This could be a personality trait, great jokes, or a more heartfelt approach, but it will help you, and the guests, if there is a clear angle to follow. In turn, this will help your guests follow along and you will be gifted with a better response from the room," he recommends.

"When it comes to content, remember to keep it clean and universal. By all means poke fun at your subject with a glint in your eye, but consider who may be present and keep the shaming stories for another time. Similarly, you should consider what your audience can relate to too. No one wants to sit through a five minute private joke they don't understand!"

A best man giving his speech at a wedding

2. Use notes rather than a script

 "As much as possible, I suggest rehearsing enough so that you know the overall structure and points off by heart and then using notes as a guide on the day. Your speech will feel much more natural for this and it will also help you look up and out across the room.

 "For our weddings we often stick these into a spare order of service so they look smart and are also easier to hold and turn the page. This will also help you with your eye contact. It will help your speech feel more personal if you make eye contact around the room instead of with the floor in front of you. Whatever works for you but whatever you do, don't read off your phone!"

RELATED: Pre-wedding jitters? 12 top sleep tips to feel rested and refreshed before your nuptials

3. Keep it short and sweet!

 "A tale as old as time but I really cannot stress this enough! It is very difficult to distil a friendship or relationship into a couple of minutes but you will be thanked for this, I promise. I recommend three to five minutes and no more than eight," Matthew advises. "A clear, tight, structure will help you deliver a brilliant speech and leave everyone wanting more. This is equally important on the day itself; do not go off script and meander through your thoughts. If you lose your place you can pause and refer to your notes, but do not freestyle and make it up as you go along. I have never seen a long wedding speech that has been well received."

4. Best Speech Ever (B.S.E)

 "This is my acronym for putting the finishing touches on an excellent speech. Body language, speed, and energy. Once you've written your speech, the crucial next step is to rehearse it so you are comfortable with your material and delivery."

Body language:

"Make sure you rehearse in front of the mirror so you can see how you deliver the speech. Keep an eye out for any nervous ticks you may have and what your hands are doing. Ask the couple if you will be using a microphone and, if so, practice with a hairbrush. You should hold it steady, a few centimetres from your mouth. If you wave it around as you speak you'll land up sounding like a train station announcement!"

 "Remember to keep it slow. We have a habit of speaking fast when nervous, which will make it hard for your audience to follow. I suggest recording yourself so you can play it back and work out how much to slow down. It's also important to allow moments for you to pause for reaction, and to take your breath or a sip of water. If helpful, write these into your notes as a reminder. Don't try and rattle off the whole speech without any breaks."

Energy:​​​​

"To avoid monotone delivery, work out the energy of each section in your speech and practice moving between different registers. This will help keep it interesting as well ensuring your audience follows along. And PRACTICE! When ready, ask a couple of trusted friends/family members to have a run through too."

MORE: 60 ultimate first dance songs

How do you start a wedding speech?

Start your wedding speech by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the couple. There are many ways to do this, whether you want to keep it simple and to the point or make the audience laugh with a joke. 

A bride and groom at their wedding reception

How do you make a short and sweet wedding speech?

Wedding speeches are notorious for over-running and going on for hours, so it's understandable that some people would prefer to keep theirs short and sweet. As long as you include the key elements from the wedding speech templates above you should have the formula for a memorable speech that will be loved by the happy couple and their guests alike.

Wedding speech examples:

Use these wedding speech introduction examples to inspire your own, and get your speech off to a great start.

"Hello, I'm XXX and I'm so happy to welcome you all here on this beautiful day."

"Hi, my name is XXX and it's an honour to be here today as XXX's best man/ maid of honour."

"Family and friends of XXX and XXX, thank you for being here today to celebrate their marriage."

"Hi everyone, I'm (Groom's name). You probably all already know who I am, and if you don't, well done for sneaking in."

"Good afternoon everyone, my name is XXX, but you can call me 'XXX-would-you-like-a-drink'."

"Welcome to the celebration of XXX and XXX's wedding."

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speeches at a wedding uk

What's the Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?

A modernised template and tips to make the speeches run smoothly.

speeches at a wedding uk

We're often asked, "What's the correct order of speeches at a wedding ?" and we always give the same answer - the correct order of speeches is the order that works for you and your partner, your style of wedding, and your chosen speechgivers! Of course, what couples actually mean is, "What's the traditional order of speeches at a wedding?" which is an easier question to answer, but we find the traditional order of speeches largely unhelpful when planning a modern wedding. That's why we've come up with a new, modernised template for you to work from, as well as some tips on customising the list for your own big day.

speeches at a wedding uk

The Traditional or Formal Order of Speeches at a Wedding:

When we're asked about the correct order of speeches at a wedding, the couple is usually looking for the traditional , typical or formal order of speeches at a wedding, which we've provided below. However, it's important to note that this order is pretty outdated, and doesn't accommodate same-sex couples or parents, mixed-gender bridal parties , or brides or other female wedding party members who would like to speak . So, while we've provided it here for any traditional couples out there, we highly recommend you check out our modernised version below!

  • The Father of the Bride
  • The Father of the Groom
  • The Best Man

speeches at a wedding uk

The Order of Speeches at a Wedding for Modern Couples:

For our updated version of the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, we've gone for a semi-chronological line up. We placed parents first, as they tend to talk more about the couple's early lives, followed by friends and siblings, who often talk about school and early adulthood, and how the couple met. It can be useful for the couple to go last, as this gives you an opportunity to thank everyone who played a role in the day, including the speechgivers. That said, there are many more factors to consider when planning the order of speeches at a wedding - keep reading to find out what they are!

  • The Couple's Parents - could be anything from one to four speeches
  • The Couple's Closest Friends and/or Siblings - these might include Best Man, Maid of Honour, Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, Groomsmaids, Bridesmen, members of the wedding party or non-members
  • The Couple  - speaking either together or separately

speeches at a wedding uk

Tips for Planning the Order of Speeches at a Wedding

  • Remember, there's no rule to say that the father-of-the-bride or best man has to give a speech. Equally, we've witnessed amazing speeches given by friends, grandparents and flower girls! Keep an open mind when deciding who will speak at your wedding , and consider who you'd like to hear from, and who would like to speak, rather than blindly following a traditional order.
  • It's not mandatory, but we recommend that you at least consider speaking at your own wedding . Guests love to hear from couples, and most couples report that they're glad they made the effort to speak on their own big day.
  • When planning the order of speeches, consider whether the speeches will take place all at once , or whether you will stagger them throughout the day . As we discussed here , having some speeches before or after the ceremony, or during the drinks reception, can help combat speech fatigue at the reception, and give nervous speakers the opportunity to get their speech done early on in the day.

speeches at a wedding uk

  • Think about who's going to be giving the speeches, and whether they're confident or nervous about it. It's worth asking them about this directly, as the answer might surprise you!
  • Ask one of your more confident speakers to MC the speeches . This really just means they'll introduce each of the speakers in the line up to give the speeches a more polished feel, and give speakers a boost by encouraging the audience to give them a round of applause when they first pick up the microphone.
  • You can also ask your MC to watch out for any potential technical difficulties , make sure all the other speakers are ready to go, keep an eye on time, arrange glasses of water for each speaker, etc. You can also give them a list of people to thank on your behalf.
  • Place nervous speakers early on the line up , but have your MC introduce them, preferably with a (tasteful!) joke or some words of encouragement. Let your MC know that they're feeling a little apprehensive, so they can encourage the crowd to welcome them warmly.
  • Confident speakers can go anywhere on the line up, but having a particularly confident or funny speechgiver go last will end the speeches on a high note!

Niamh Dane wedding bride groom guests bouquet venue band

We have lots more great tips on speeches below:

  • Our Favourite Opening Lines
  • How to Make a Great Best Man's Speech
  • How to Stop Your Speeches Going on Too Long
  • Ways to Shake up Your Wedding Speeches
  • Free Wedding Speech Bingo Printable
  • Dos and Don'ts of Giving a Great Maid of Honour Speech
  • The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Got another question that needs answering? Check out our  wedding FAQ page or follow us on Instagram

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How To Write The Perfect Wedding Speech

“if you are naturally funny then be funny but if you are not that’s ok too”.

Alice Barraclough

Moriarty Events | Binky & Max

Love them or hate them, wedding speeches are often one of the most memorable parts of any wedding party. But standing up and speaking in front of a room full of people – no matter how many guests you have – can be seriously intimidating. And if you’ve ever sat through a dry, cliché-riddled wedding speech, where the best man is stumbling from one word to the next, reading off a crumpled scrap bit of paper with zero pizazz or delivery, or the father of the bride just keeps going on and on and on, you’ll know that commanding the room and pulling off an unforgettable toast is no easy feat.

So if you’ve been asked to say a few words about the newlyweds (what an honour!) and you’re currently staring at a blank page, we’ve collated some of our top tips to help you pen a funny, personal and heartwarming speech that’s guaranteed to have your guests crying one moment, and laughing the next. 

wedding speech

9 Tips On How To Write The Perfect Wedding Speech

1. give yourself plenty of time.

Of course, it depends on how you like to write, but generally speaking, it’s wise to give yourself as long as possible. “You then have time to review it, change things around and take out any bits that maybe shouldn’t be said,” says wedding planner Kerry Poulter .

“Do not leave it to the morning of the wedding!” 

Maddie Barton, senior producer for Moriarty Events , suggests thinking about your speech – and collating anecdotes and ideas from family and friends – around three months before the wedding. “I would recommend having the bones of the speech down at least six weeks prior so you can edit and refine,” she says.

“Some people like to give themselves weeks to write and refine the perfect words, whereas others like to write under time pressure as it forces them to focus,” adds wedding planner Alice Wilkes . “Think about how you work best, whether you are a meticulous planner or major procrastinator, and allow yourself the time to do your best work.”

wedding speech

2. Start with a theme or key message that you can come back to

Rather than listing out everything there is to know about the couple, try to identify a theme to focus on. “The best speeches are well rounded with a distinct start, middle and end, with a theme that runs and is referenced throughout, before your big finish,” says Alice. “There are of course some elements you must include, such as thanking key people, however, try to avoid copying a speech you have heard before or found online, as you can be sure that someone else will have heard it too!”

Kerry agrees – cut-and-paste rarely makes a good speech: “Definitely do not google what to say in a wedding speech. It is so obvious who does this and then uses the same one-liners to try and get a laugh. Just start at the beginning, when the friendship for a best man or relationship as a groom started and relevant things that have happened along the way to get you to be doing this speech at the wedding.”

3. Cut the clichés

Avoiding including anything too cliché like ‘they’re the perfect couple’ or starting with a quote no one has heard of. “If you are naturally funny then be funny but if you are not that’s ok too,” says Maddie. “People in the room will know if anything is forced unless you are an Oscar-winning actor. The key is to play to your strengths.”

And if you’re unsure? Just stick to the basics: how you met, what you love about them, and how you’ve seen their lives change for the better since getting together. “One thing to remember is that your speech is not about you so think of the key points of whoever the subject is. The day is about the couple so make sure whoever you are, your wedding speech is predominantly about them,” she adds.

wedding speech

4. Remember to introduce yourself – or get the Master of Ceremonies to

Some people might not actually know who you are, so remember to “introduce yourself but keep it short and to the point,” says Kerry. 

“This is where I think a compare or master of ceremonies for the day is a great addition,” adds Maddie. “Pick someone with lots of personality, who can be trusted to remember what they are meant to do and when. They can then take the job of introducing all the speech givers and that takes one worry of their hands.”

5. Avoid ‘in’-jokes

Inside jokes always fall flat – it’s a fact. “We’ve all been to weddings where the best man delivers an apparently hilarious speech, however, no one knows what on earth he’s talking about other than a small group of guys guffawing in the corner,” says Alice. “Also, don’t mention the ex. Please.”

“There is a very fine line between a light joke and a story that really should be kept on the stag do,” adds Maddie. “Just think: would the couple’s parents or grandparents find this amusing? If the answer is even close to a no then I would suggest giving that particular anecdote a miss. Innuendo is your best friend here, the people in the room who are in the know will get what you are saying without having to embarrass the couple completely. It also isn’t the time to do any big revelations.”

speeches at a wedding uk

6. Don’t write an essay

Kerry says an individual speech should take 10 minutes at the absolute max and “ideally no longer than 30 mins in total”. Maddie agrees. “When you actually start practising speaking solidly on your own, 10 minutes is a very long time and it is tricky to command a room and keep everyone interested for longer than that.”

Alice suggests slightly shorter: “Speeches should be between five and eight minutes, depending on how many there are. Make sure all speakers know how long the others will be speaking for, roughly. That way speakers will hopefully be more respectful about keeping to their allocated slot.”

7. The best time for speeches is before dinner

“Before dinner is always a good time for speeches,” says Kerry. “Whoever is doing the speeches can then relax and enjoy their meal. If you do want to split them never do it between starter and main, it’s not fair on the caterers if it runs over.” And no one wants their delicious wedding breakfast to be ruined by a speech that goes on a lot longer than expected. “If you put the speeches between the starter and main course and someone waffles on for 20 minutes longer than planned, then the main course could be cold or overcooked,” says Maddie.

wedding speech

8. Think about how the setting might impact your speech

“A grand setting will naturally lend itself to a more formal arrangement of wedding speeches, whereas a super relaxed venue and vibe will make for a relaxed speaking environment,” says Alice. If you know your speech is going to take place outside, make sure there’s a microphone to hand – there’s nothing worse than when you can’t actually hear what’s being said. 

“We did one speech under a huge 400-year-old beech tree outside the ballroom at Cornwell Manor ,” says Kerry. “We set up sound and beautiful lighting under it and moved the guests through to listen to the speeches. When they had finished each guest lit their sparklers for the bride and groom to walk back through. It was really special and made the speeches feel like a really important element. The balcony in the ballroom at Cornwell Manor is also a fabulous place to hold the speeches.”

9. Remember your thankyous – but don’t make them a focus

“The father of the bride should thank everyone for coming and then talk about the bride,” says Kerry. “Then maybe about their views or thoughts about the groom when he first came on the scene. Then toast the bride and groom.”

“The Groom should thank the wedding party, bridesmaids, ushers, best man and families, raise a toast to absent friends and family and then talk about and finally toast his beautiful bride,” she says. But remember not to start your speech by thanking everyone – no one wants to sit through a boring list of thank yous. 

“The best man can talk about the friendship he has with the groom, any funny stories and maybe about the time the bride and groom met, then give the final toast to the new Mr and Mrs,” advises Kerry.

“Anyone who has contributed to the day without being paid, for example, a friend who has loaned their venue or car, should be thanked,” adds Alice. “You should also mention any important absentees, and anyone who you would have loved to attend but is sadly no longer with us.”

wedding speech

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The Traditional Wedding Speech Order

speeches at a wedding uk

Your wedding day will undoubtedly be one of the most memorable days of your life. Yet, with great days, comes a great need for planning. One aspect that certainly needs some attention — is the wedding speech order. As you most likely know, the wedding speeches usually happen at a couple’s wedding reception, either before or after the meal. Anecdotes are made, laughs are had, and it’s all-in-all a lovely way to congratulate the newlyweds, wishing them luck for their future endeavours together.

As with most traditional wedding facets, there is a “traditional” wedding speech order. However, let us remember, that we are living in a modern world. Whilst there is nothing wrong with wanting to stick to tradition, some couples would understandably prefer to mix up the wedding speech order a bit, ensuring inclusivity and fairness on every count. 

So, let’s get into the nitty-gritty of your wedding speech order. Before that, however - we've got a helpful and easily downloadable infographic about the wedding speech order for those of you who are more visual learners. 

The “traditional” wedding speech order

When unravelling tradition, we have to go back to the start. Just for a bit. The origins of toasts and speeches actually date back to ancient societies. They would raise their cup as an offering to their gods. Toasting specifically at weddings can be traced back to the sixth century B.C. The bride’s father would drink first, proving that their shared wine had not poisoned - oooh er!

Nowadays, the fear of poisoning is relatively low, or at least, we hope! However, the tradition of the father of the bride starting off the wedding speech order remains true. The rest of the order goes as follows:

  • Father of the bride
  • Other toasts

It goes without saying that there are obviously some fairly important factors being missed out here. The bride, the bridesmaids, maid of honour, mother of the bride, same-sex couples, those who don’t identify with any gender… Traditionally, women don’t get a word in. But fear not! We’ll be going over all of these wedding speech orders, too.

If you do want to stick to tradition, then this is the option for you. If not, hang tight.

The “less traditional” wedding speech order

Let’s get into the less traditional order for your speeches. This time, including those left out previously. The order could go:

  • Bridesmaids/maid of honour

Tradition or no tradition, the  best man’s  speech tends to go last, following the speech of the bridesmaids and/or maid of honour.

Evidently, this is a slightly less traditional, slightly more female-inclusive wedding speech order. It has become increasingly popular in the last few years for brides to give a speech, with bridesmaids and maids of honour opting to say a few words, too.

Not only that, it has been noted on many websites and forums that in their speeches, brides should thank the guests for arriving, thank the parents and bridesmaids, compliment the groom, and propose a toast. If this is what you want to do, that’s great. However, if you are a bride and feel obliged to stick to this, stop fearing now. If the best man can crack some jokes, so can you. If the groom wants to make a silly anecdote, so can you. If you want to make a speech on the state of global warming, go for it. Your speech, your rules. Always.

The more inclusive wedding speech order

The rise in these kinds of weddings has increased in recent years, due to a relaxation of laws. Of course, many countries still don’t recognise these kinds of unions, but luckily here in the UK, we do.

One of the great things about an LGBTQI+ wedding is that the wedding speech order is almost entirely down to you. If there are two brides, it could be something as follows (if you so desire);

  • Father/mother of the bride
  • Mother/father of the second bride (stuck with who should go first? You could decide with something as simple as picking a name out of a hat, or who’s birthday is first, etc.)
  • Bride(s) (either one by one, or together)
  • Maid of honour(s) same as above

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of flexibility there, and it’s all down to you. The same formula as above can be used if it’s a groom-groom wedding, too, obviously swapping bride for groom and maid of honour for best man.

What about a non-binary wedding speech order?

In terms of gender-neutral ceremonies, the idea is the same; the order is essentially down to you. Because traditional wedding speech orders didn’t include any relationship besides a heterosexual one, you have freedom in catering to your own wishes in how the speeches play out.

One idea that you could take on if you’re lacking in inspiration could be as follows:

  • Mother/father of the partner (order up to you)
  • Father/mother of the partner (order up to you)
  • Partner(s) (either going one by one or together)
  • Best person/person of honour

Something else to bear in mind is that wedding terms and names are generally gendered. So instead of making anyone uncomfortable, why not swap the more traditional terms for some gender-neutral ones, like a partner, significant other, newlywed, spouse, best person, a person of honour, wedding party (instead of bridesmaids or groomsmen), Mx. (instead of Mr or Mrs), ring bearer, and flower pal.

Infographic detailing the traditional wedding speech order made by Rock My Wedding

Everyone’s a part of the wedding speech order

You may have thought that we’ve now exhausted most of the wedding speech order options; Ha! Not quite. As we mentioned in our  2022 wedding trends article , a lot of ceremonies have recently introduced the idea of a lot more people giving speeches outside the usual tradition. The popularity of popcorn speeches (taking a number and giving a speech when it’s your turn) has been seen, where friends and family members get a chance to say a few words. A fantastic idea, as long as a time limit is introduced - especially if this happens before the meal. We don't want people getting hangry...

If you wanted to take the pressure off the bride, groom, partners, parents, best man, best people or maid of honour, then this is a great option for you.

It's your day, your way. Always. 

What’s arguably more important than the order of the speeches is what is inside of them. Do not fret, however, as we’ve got a plethora of resources for you to check out, making the speech writing process much easier. Whether you’re writing a  best man speech  or a  bride's speech,  we’ve got you covered. We’ve also got a  podcast episode  on how to write a bride speech if you’re more of an auditory learner. Maybe you’d prefer some help putting pen to paper?  Our Recommended supplier, Do Us A Ditty  is more than happy to assist.

Sasha Kirkham

Written by Sasha Kirkham

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Bride Speech Examples

If you're keen to give a bride speech, you've come to the right place. The bride speech is the perfect moment to thank your guests for coming and to say a special thank you to your new spouse and wedding entourage. Not sure where to start? We have lots of example bride speeches, tips and advice to help inspire you here.

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What a surprise! Free speech absolutist Elon Musk doesn’t really love free speech

Arwa Mahdawi

The X owner is paying legal bills of people ‘unfairly treated’ over their posts while weaponizing the law to shut down his critics

Elon Musk is unravelling

Let’s check in on the platform formerly known as Twitter shall we? Let’s have a gander at how it’s doing since Elon Musk , the world’s cleverest man, decided to set its extremely valuable brand equity on fire and rename it “X”.

Huh, what do you know, it looks like it’s doing X-tremely poorly. Usage in the US has dropped by more than a fifth since Musk took the platform over in late 2022, a recent analysis found . This week Musk, who once named himself “Chief Twit”, also chaotically reversed his policy of making people pay for “verified status” and started forcing blue ticks on the site’s most-followed accounts – to the dismay of many users.

X might not be at the top of its game right now but, to be fair, Musk has plenty of other companies. So how’s Tesla doing? Not so great either, apparently. Inventory is piling up and the company is resorting to big discounts in order to shift cars . Meanwhile the Biden administration recently criticized SpaceX (another Musk company) for how heavily its operations are subsidized by the public.

While some of his biggest businesses are plagued with problems, Musk’s attention seems to be elsewhere. Half the time he seems to be tweeting about how he’ll never go to therapy or dramatically unfollowing his ex on X. The rest of the time the billionaire appears to be consumed by his favourite hobby : funding ridiculous lawsuits .

Last year Musk, who likes to refer to himself as a “free speech absolutist”, grandly announced that he would help pay the legal bills for people who felt they were “unfairly treated” for posting on Twitter. Musk was inundated with people asking for help and, last week, X officially announced that it was funding a lawsuit filed by Chloe Happe against her former employer Block – the financial technology company set up by Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter. While it’s not clear why Block terminated Happe, the lawsuit alleges it was because of her behaviour on Twitter.

“Block fired Chloe because of the political opinions she expressed on X,” the official X News account tweeted . “Chloe had two pseudonymous accounts on X, @bronzeageshawty and the now-deprecated @samsarashawty … because some of the opinions she expressed in her X accounts did not conform to the prevailing political orthodoxy, Block fired her, in violation of the law.” So what were those brave views that X is defending? Well, there are two key tweets (both of which Happe subsequently deleted) that are at the center of the lawsuit. One, described in the court filing as the “Restroom Post” said: “Looking fear in the eyes today as I’m using the ADA gender neutral restroom in the office and a retarded tranny in a wheelchair knocks on the door.”

The other tweet is described as the “Refugee Post”. In this one, posted soon after 7 October 2023, Happe pretended to be a “citizen” of Kurdistan (which is a region, not a country) and joked about refugees from Gaza coming to the area. Happe regularly uses this particular pseudonymous account to pretend to be a woman in Kurdistan with a sheep-herding husband and tweet “witticisms” like : “beautiful big tittie kurdish women just don’t fall out of the sky you know.”

Regardless of what you think about Happe’s comments, this seems like a bizarre case to throw your weight behind. I mean, let’s be very clear here: one of the richest and most influential men in the world has decided to invest his considerable resources in fighting for a woman’s right to say “tranny” and “retarded” online.

A cynic might say the motivation behind this lawsuit is not so much free speech as it is childish trolling. Musk, after all, has routinely demonstrated that he has the maturity of a 12-year-old. This is a man, let us not forget, who whited out the “w” on the Twitter office sign because he thought it would be funny for people to work at “ titter ”.

Despite the fact that he styles himself as a free speech warrior, Musk has also made it very clear that he’s not keen on certain forms of free speech. He will defend someone’s right to use transphobic and ableist language online to the very end but God forbid anyone should exercise their freedom of speech to say anything bad about him! The thin-skinned billionaire has forced employees to sign restrictive non-disparagement agreements and Twitter has been accused of suspending the accounts of journalists who have covered the platform . There are also claims that the platform has censored Palestinian public figures and suspended accounts which have been critical of Israel’s war on Gaza.

Musk has also weaponized the law to try to shut down his critics. Last month, for example, a judge dismissed a case X had filed against the Center for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), a non-profit that has published reports detailing a rise in hate speech and racist content on X since the Musk takeover.

“Sometimes it is unclear what is driving a litigation …” wrote Charles Breyer, the US district judge, in the ruling. “Other times, a complaint is so unabashedly and vociferously about one thing that there can be no mistaking that purpose … This case is about punishing the defendants … X Corp has brought this case in order to punish CCDH for CCDH publications that criticized X Corp – and perhaps in order to dissuade others who might wish to engage in such criticism.”

Musk actively trying to suppress criticism while posturing as a free speech warrior? Gosh, it’s almost like the man is a raging hypocrite.

Why do a disproportionate number of women play bass guitar?

Once upon time the guitar was seen as a “ women’s instrument ”. Why? Because women could keep their bodies in “feminine” poses while playing it and because, in Europe during the late 1700s to the mid-1800s, it was generally perceived as a “lesser” instrument. Now the bass guitar is considered more of a “woman’s” instrument. Ashwanta Jackson takes a look at gender and music in JSTOR.

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You can’t even escape sexual harassment in Antarctica

A significant number of women working in Antarctica have experienced sexual harassment and assault for years now. A congressional investigation is finally under way .

Teachers’ union leader calls for inquiry into misogyny among young men in UK

“It’s very fair to say that there’s a real problem with sexism and misogyny within schools,” the leader of the UK’s largest education union said . “It’s not just influencers such as Andrew Tate , but aggressive hardcore pornography which is really easily accessible to young people. This stuff is having a real impact, particularly on young boys and young men and their views of women and relationships.”

Florida supreme court clears way for both abortion ballot measure and six-week ban

If that headline sounds confusing it’s because the situation in Florida right now is very confusing . Florida was one of the last states in the south-east where abortions were still somewhat accessible; now, however, a six-week ban is imminent. The good news, however, is that Florida residents will get the chance to vote on a ballot measure to enshrine abortion rights in the state constitution.

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The week in pawtriarchy

It’s a tail of two cities. Nearly nine months ago a terrier mix called Mishka went missing in California. Now he’s been discovered nearly 2,000 miles away in Michigan. How did he get there? “That’s a story only Mishka knows,” the vet who examined the dog said .

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COMMENTS

  1. A Complete Guide to Order of Speeches at a Wedding

    It's actually harder for a speaker to write and deliver a great short wedding speech, than a standard length one of 7-8 minutes," says Marc. 3. Ask the person before you to introduce you. This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it's okay to start your speech. 4.

  2. Wedding Traditional Speech Order: Who Says What & When

    Wedding speeches are a cherished tradition at weddings, and an essential part of the wedding reception. They're a way for the bride and groom, as well as their loved ones, to express their love and appreciation for each other on their big day, and can set the tone for a fun, emotional, and memorable evening. ... According to our 2023 UK ...

  3. The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches

    The groom's speech. The best man speech. The maid of honour speech (if any) The bride's speech (if she wishes) The parent of the groom (if any) Remember, this is the traditional order, but can vary depending on the wedding and those attending. Some weddings also have speeches from other family members such as step parents that might change ...

  4. What is the Order of Wedding Speeches in the UK

    The maid of honour's speech usually contains the following; — A Thank you for the bride's speech. — Loving comments on the happy couple and the sharing of stories about the bride. — Congratulations to the groomsmen/ushers. — A final toast to the happy couple. wedding speech. groom speech. wedding speeches. father of the bride speech.

  5. Wedding Speeches

    Wedding Speeches. Wedding speeches are one of the best parts of any wedding day, but if you're the one giving a wedding speech then it can often be nerve-wracking. Whether you're the bride, groom, best man, maid of honour or father of the bride, we have a whole host of ideas and example wedding speeches ready and waiting to help! All 2745.

  6. Wedding Speech Order Guide: Mastering Toasts & Tributes

    In summary, the order of the first speech and delivery of the final toast at a wedding play a pivotal role in the celebration. They offer a blend of tradition, personal touch, and emotional depth, contributing significantly to the wedding's overall experience. Whether traditional or modern, each speech and toast adds a unique layer to the ...

  7. 10 Steps to Writing the Perfect Wedding Speech

    1. Start Planning Early. We all know the old saying 'failing to prepare is preparing to fail' and that is certainly the case when it comes to your speech. As soon as you know you're going to be giving a speech, start writing a few notes every time you think of something interesting. Adam Cockering from Adaptable Speechwriting suggests ...

  8. The Ultimate Guide To Wedding Speeches And Toasts

    The traditional order of speeches and what they should say. Father of the bride/groom. Most speeches will kick off right at the beginning of the wedding reception, when the Father of the Bride will traditionally welcome the guests and introduce the married couple (if the toastmaster hasn't already done so). It has long been customary for the ...

  9. Traditional Wedding Speech Order Explained

    The Groom. After the father of the bride has welcomed the groom to the family, this is now time for the groom to stand up and say his part. Usually thanking the bride's family first, the key members of the wedding party, the bridesmaids and of course his own parents. The rest of the speech should be about his relationship to his partner ...

  10. Your ultimate guide to wedding speeches

    Top 10 tips for the perfect wedding speech: 1. Practice makes perfect. Rehearse your speech in the weeks and days preceding the wedding by reciting it out loud. You may even wish to practise in front of your significant other to get a gauge on your audience's reactions. 2.

  11. Who Does Speeches at a Wedding?

    Wedding speeches are usually made by the wedding party. For example, the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man. But they can be made by anyone close to the happy couple. Usually, you'll be asked to make a wedding speech — you shouldn't just stand up and make one!

  12. Planning your wedding speeches: Who speaks, the order, and timing

    How to organise your wedding speeches, including who gives a toast and in which order. See tips from the author of The Modern Couple's Guide to Wedding Speeches. Who should give wedding speeches, and in which order? Switch up the traditional line-up and make your wedding reception your own. See expert tips on planning your wedding speeches

  13. Order Of Speeches At Wedding UK

    As they're traditionally the last speech of the day, this wedding speech carries a certain responsibility that shouldn't be overlooked. A well-planned speech will ensure the remainder of the wedding reception continues in good spirits. Top tips: KISS - keep it simple, stupid! Say a few words, ensure you compliment the bride, memorise a ...

  14. A GUIDE TO WEDDING SPEECHES

    Your wedding venue will just ask that you overcompensate when considering timings as this leaves room for any extra surprises they may not have let you in on! From our experience, speeches tend to follow the below time frame: Father of the Bride - 5 minutes. Groom - 5-10 minutes. Best Man - 10-15 minutes.

  15. How to write a wedding speech: Ultimate expert tips & examples to

    Wedding speech examples: Use these wedding speech introduction examples to inspire your own, and get your speech off to a great start. "Hello, I'm XXX and I'm so happy to welcome you all here on ...

  16. What's the Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?

    The Order of Speeches at a Wedding for Modern Couples: The Couple's Parents - could be anything from one to four speeches. The Couple's Closest Friends and/or Siblings - these might include Best Man, Maid of Honour, Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, Groomsmaids, Bridesmen, members of the wedding party or non-members. The Couple - speaking either together ...

  17. How To Write The Perfect Wedding Speech

    9 Tips On How To Write The Perfect Wedding Speech. 1. Give yourself plenty of time. Of course, it depends on how you like to write, but generally speaking, it's wise to give yourself as long as possible. "You then have time to review it, change things around and take out any bits that maybe shouldn't be said," says wedding planner Kerry ...

  18. Guide to Giving a Bride Speech

    Dos and Don'ts of Giving a Bride Speech. Do remember that brevity is important so keep your speech brief and to the point. '10 minutes is probably too long when there around 30 minutes worth of other speeches,' suggests Lawrence. 'I'd say keep it to five minutes - you don't want to bore your guests.'. Don't fill your speech ...

  19. Wedding Speech Order For Your Reception

    The order could go: Father of the bride. Groom. Bride. Bridesmaids/maid of honour. Best man. Tradition or no tradition, the best man's speech tends to go last, following the speech of the bridesmaids and/or maid of honour. Evidently, this is a slightly less traditional, slightly more female-inclusive wedding speech order.

  20. Wedding Speech Ideas

    Wedding speeches can be short, funny, touching, or tear-jerking and usually include anecdotes about the happy couple, some guidance on marriage, quotes about love, and a lot of thank-yous. They're generally between 5 and 7 minutes long. However, they can be as long as necessary to get your point across.

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    By the New Atheist logic, it ought to be the most rational place in the UK since de-Christianisation has occurred there at a faster rate. Membership of the national Church of Scotland has fallen ...

  23. Joe Biden issues warning as Iran 'prepares to launch missile strike' on

    In a speech to mark the end of Ramadan on Wednesday, Ayatollah Khamenei vowed to take revenge on Israel. "When they attack the consulate, it is as if they have attacked our soil," he said.

  24. How to Deliver a Wedding Speech

    Slow and steady is how to deliver a wedding speech. 4. Think About Your Body Language. Stand up straight, take a deep breath and smile before you start your speech. It doesn't matter how you feel, there are tricks that can make you look confident and get the audience on your side from the start.

  25. Wedding Speech Examples

    Wedding speeches are a crucial part of a wedding celebration, as they allow both the couple, family members, and friends to express their love, gratitude, and well-wishes for the newlyweds. However, giving a wedding speech can be nerve-wracking for many people, which is why having a few examples can be a great starting-point. ...

  26. A hate crime law was meant to protect against prejudice. It ended up

    In January, the British government blocked Scotland's attempt to reform the UK-wide Gender Recognition Act 2004, which allows people to apply to have their legal gender changed. Scotland's ...

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    A Russian spacecraft was just metres from hitting a Nasa satellite in a "shocking" near-miss that could have put lives at risk, the US space agency has claimed. Pam Melroy, the deputy ...

  28. Bride Speech Examples

    By hitched.co.uk, 11/01/2014. Bride Speech Examples. "As I lose my old name, and take on the new, rest assured, I will always love you!". - Bride Speech by Cathy. "Dear Mum and Dad, I just want you to know, I can't thank you enough for helping me grow. From the day I was born, you've done all in your power to water my roots and help me to ...

  29. What a surprise! Free speech absolutist Elon Musk doesn't really love

    A cynic might say the motivation behind this lawsuit is not so much free speech as it is childish trolling. Musk, after all, has routinely demonstrated that he has the maturity of a 12-year-old.