a letter to myself assignment

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How to Write a Letter to Your Past Self (With Examples)

“I’m so proud of you.”

When was the last time you heard that? What’s more, when was the last time you said those words to yourself? The last few years have been difficult for everyone, particularly on our mental health. If you’re a high-achiever, you tend to be your own worst critic. Giving yourself credit where credit is due may not come second nature. If this sounds familiar, keep reading, because the exercise I’m about to share will help you be more compassionate with yourself.

We’ve already explored the benefits of journaling , but today I want to take writing for mental health a step further with a letter to your younger self. Whether you’re doing this assignment for school or for personal development (in that case, A plus!), you’ll be amazed at the perspective it provides.

Why Write to Your Past Self?

The old adage, “Hindsight is 20/20,” is cliche, but it’s also true. Writing letters to yourself is a powerful way to reflect on your life experiences and inform your future thinking. Remember that it’s unrealistic to expect that “past you” could have anticipated all that would happen in your life. Letter writing like this should come from a place of love and compassion. The benefits of writing a letter to yourself in the past include…

• Increasing self-awareness
• Cultivating gratitude
• Gaining a new perspective
• Processing past trauma
• Practicing mindfulness and being in-the-moment

Writing to your past self, even in the form of a short note , allows you to tell a new story about things you’ve experienced. Maybe you went through a difficult life transition, suffered a loss, or moved across the globe. Letter writing can be a therapeutic tool in viewing your past self through a more compassionate lens.  

How to Write a Letter to Your Past Self

Get in the zone.

Sit in a quiet spot with a journal or piece of paper and your favorite pen . This should be a space where you can hear your thoughts clearly and remain undisturbed for a while. Something as simple as lighting a candle or playing soft music can get you into the writing zone.

Choose a Date in the Past

t’s recommended to use five years as the point in the past to look back to. This allows enough distance for you to have experienced life changes but it's still close enough to remain active in your memory. Consider a date immediately before a life transition , like going to college, moving, or getting married.

Or, think back to yourself at a specific age . What were you like as a pre-teen, teen, or young adult? How have you changed and grown since then? Any moment in the past that had a significant impact is the best way to start a letter to yourself .

Start Letter Writing

Begin by taking a few deep breaths in and out. By simply writing “ Dear past self, ” you’ll probably find that your subsequent words flow easily. Write down what you have learned since your chosen date and what has strengthened you in difficult times. Write down your hopes and dreams and give yourself credit for not giving up. The more you write, the more new insights and perspectives you’ll discover.

If you’re like me, you’ll benefit from some writing prompts to get you started. I’ll list some of my favorites from The University of Edinburgh and Allina Health below.

Letter Writing Prompts

• What is the memory I have from this time? Why is it significant?
• How did I feel during this time? How did I process those feelings?
• What do I wish I could have said or done differently then?
• What are the main things that I’ve learned since then?
• What wisdom or knowledge do I wish someone could have given me at that moment?
• What types of people have helped me along the way?
• What is the best advice I could give my past self?
• What would I tell myself to get through the challenges I faced?
• What do I wish my younger self had known to feel better now?

After you’ve finished your letter to yourself, put it out of sight and out of mind . Only reread it after a few days have passed. Then, ask yourself these questions…

• Do I want to make any additions or changes?
• How could I follow the advice I’ve given myself better?
• What can I take from this letter to apply to my future?
• What am I able to see now with gratitude?

Letter to Past Self Examples

Dear Past Self,

I know you’re struggling right now, and I want you to know I’m here for you. You might feel like you’re never going to get past this, but I promise you will. You might feel small, helpless and incapable, but believe me, that’s not true. You deserve more credit than you give yourself. Stop doubting your skills and downplaying your potential. Your moment will come.

You are shaped by your past, but your past doesn’t dictate your future. You’ve been through challenge after challenge and come out the other side. You’re starting to understand that every experience you have, good or bad, can teach you a valuable lesson.

Remember that this too shall pass. Keep learning, growing, and persevering.

I’m so proud of you. With Love,

Your Future Self

This is just one of many ways you can format your letter. Here are some other letter to past self examples to take inspiration from:

Concordia University letter to yourself example

NYU letter to yourself example

A Lesson in Compassion

We often look back on the past and think, “If only I knew then what I know now.” Writing a letter to your past self is like a mini memoir. You’re writing about the past with knowledge of the present. This allows you to bridge your past, present and future selves with wisdom that can only come from hindsight.

Above all, writing letters to yourself is a lesson in self-awareness , personal growth, and self- compassion . Allow this activity to help you reflect, make space for healing, and get your pen moving. And remember: stay inky, my friends.

About the Author

Madeleine is a copywriter and video script whiz for creative and inventive brands. As an empathy-based marketer, every website, landing page, blog, email, and video she writes showcases her clients at their best. Some say she's a mind-reader, but she's really just an expert listener with one goal in mind: to inspire readers (and viewers) to take action. A true logophile, she's the one who (unabashedly) keeps a hard copy thesaurus on her desk. When she's not on set or crafting copy, you can find her nose in a book sipping a matcha latte.

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How to Write a Letter to Your Future Self

Last Updated: April 17, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Celena Hathaway and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophia Latorre . Celena Hathaway is an English & Creative Writing Teacher at Cornerstone Schools of Alabama in Birmingham, Alabama. She specializes in entry-level creative writing, such as fundamental poetry and fiction short story techniques, and 8th-grade-level grammar and reading. She earned her B.S.E. in Secondary Education and B.A. in English from Samford University. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 511,856 times.

No one talks about writer’s block when it comes to writing a letter to yourself, but it can be challenging to clearly convey your message to future you. Whether you’re hoping to achieve specific goals, follow up on bucket list items, or give words of affirmation, your future self will be grateful to receive a letter no matter what. This wikiHow will give you ideas to help structure your letter, possible goals you can set, and language to use to prepare yourself for success. Future you is going to be thriving .

Talking About Who You Are Now

• You may want to choose an age that puts you in different circumstances than you are currently in. If you write the letter as a freshman in high school and read it when you’re in college, you’ll be able to see how much your life has changed and whether or not your goals have been met.

• When talking about your current self in this letter, use “I” language. When talking about your future self in this letter, use “you” language.

• Include information about your church, if you belong to one, or values like accepting everyone’s faith, or lack thereof. Add morals that guide you, such as always being kind, or helping others in need.

Addressing Your Future Self

• Do you enjoy your job?
• What do you do in order to relax?
• Who is the most important person in your life?
• What is your relationship with your parents like? How do they treat you and how do you treat them?
• If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

Sealing and Storing the Letter

• If you keep a journal, consider writing the letter directly in your journal and marking the page, or writing the letter separately and tucking it in between the pages of your journal.

• You might consider using a digital calendar (like Google Calendars), note-taking software (like Evernote), or a letter-writing website (like FutureMe). [11] X Research source

Sample Letter and Things to Include and Avoid

Expert Q&A

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Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about writing, check out our in-depth interview with Celena Hathaway .

• ↑ https://www.ed.ac.uk/reflection/reflectors-toolkit/self-awareness/writing-letters
• ↑ https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/diary-journal.html
• ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-letter-to-my-future-sel_b_4522265
• ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/want-to-improve-your-life-write-yourself-a-letter.html
• ↑ https://medium.com/personal-growth/join-me-and-write-a-letter-to-your-future-self-514fa62c0beb
• ↑ https://www.futureme.org/

About This Article

Writing a letter to your future self can be a great way to look back on how your life has changed and find out if you're achieving the goals you set for yourself. To do this, first choose the age you want to be when you read it, which will help you decide on realistic goals. When you begin your letter, summarize who you currently are by including recent achievements and interests. After you’ve introduced yourself, write down your hopes or goals, like getting into a good college or starting a family. Once you’ve written out your goals, ask some questions to help your future self reflect on their life. For example, you could ask, “Do you like your job?” or “What do you do to relax?”. Throughout your letter, use “I” when you’re writing about yourself now and “you” when referring to your future self so you can easily tell the difference between them. For tips on where to hide your letter, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Why I Have Students Write Letters to Their Future Selves

A writing assignment they’ll remember.

Create a custom “Letters to the Future” experience for your students! Teachers can sign up today for free with code WEARETEACHERS.

Community building is essential to any classroom’s success. And, if you’re going to accomplish anything in an upper grade classroom, you really have to work on student engagement, especially now. This means that teachers have to dig into two toolboxes at all times: the “build community while being self-reflective” activities and the one labeled “OMG can y’all believe how exciting this activity is?!”

Over the years, I’ve assigned writing assignments to help build community. They’ve changed to avoid duplication of other classes and prompts, and this year,  I decided to have students write a letter to their future self. That’s when I found FutureMe in the classroom , which fit in both of those toolboxes above!

The idea is simple: you create a single page for students to type a letter to their future self, which the site then delivers electronically on the future date that you or the students set. Students only have to work in one text field, enter their email address, choose a delivery date, and send. It’s that easy.

Save time on your lesson planning

My reality as an educator, like many of yours, is difficult to describe right now. My planning time is booked from now till February, by which time I should be caught up on September’s grading! That was a solid plus for FutureMe. Once I started thinking about my prompt and how I wanted the students to interact with the site, it only took about 15 minutes to get everything ready.

Customize as little or as much as you’d like

The live preview captures what you see as you edit.

The site is intuitive. As you customize the page that students will see, your updates appear live in a frame on the same tab. This is especially helpful if you want to modify the colors, which I did to match our school’s colors. It’s also easy to adjust the colors of the text and the “send” button. When you’re done, or if you just want to see the student page, just hit the Preview link.

I set our work to private—only the students will see their emails (a few students sent them to their parents’ email addresses, too). This is a personal choice and it works for our classroom community, but you can adjust those settings with a click. You’re also able to choose between having the students choose their own date or setting it for them. For this assignment, I let the kids choose their date. I plan on going back to the site in a few weeks for a more formal assignment. For that, I’ll set the date for them. You can also choose to make letters available publicly by selecting which ones might be appropriate and interesting to share.

Discover effortless student engagement

I made a QR code for the link for the students to scan using their devices, and the site loaded right up. Once the students were on the site, they knew exactly what to do. They played around with changing the delivery date and talked with each other about the choice they made. Questions included, “can I curse?” “can I send this to my mom, too?” and “can we do this next week, too?”

An important aspect of any Letter to My Future Self assignment is this magical idea that we have acted outside of time—that a future version of ourselves can interact with a past version of ourselves, connecting old to young, present to past, and spurring nostalgic feelings. When the kids finished, they pressed “Send to the Future,” and it was gone, like magic.

Think beyond the classroom prompt

It’s great to have paper handy for those first drafts

Another plus for FutureMe, for sure—there was no teacher stuffing a letter into a yellow envelope with a promise to send on to a high school teacher or sealed and stamped envelopes stashed in a drawer to wait for a future postal worker. FutureMe maximizes student agency for a common activity, turning it from an old, wooden desk and paper envelope kind of thing into the familiar space of tech and social media actions. If you choose to make some of the letters public, you can expand the reach of the assignment even further.

Consider a variety of prompts to get students started. In each one, encourage students to think of themselves not just as students, but as human beings: sisters, brothers, friends, sons or daughters, creatives, athletes, leaders, etc.

• What is one thing you’d like to accomplish this year?
• Describe how you feel right now and what you enjoy doing.
• Where do you see yourself as a student in X length of time?
• What are you most proud of in your life so far? What do you want to be proud of in one year?
• Describe something you are struggling with right now, and describe what it might look like to have overcome it.
• Write a letter to give your future self some encouragement and love!
• How have you changed over the past few years, and how do you hope to change over the next few?

In future assignments, I will change the setting so I can read and grade or give feedback on them. The flexibility is important to me, and FutureMe provides exactly the kinds of focused choices that have a meaningful impact on the student’s experience. My students are looking forward to the next assignment, and so am I!

Getting started is easy, and it’s FREE with code “WEARETEACHERS.” Use your K-12 school email to enroll for one year for up to 200 students.

Learn more about FutureMe

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Writing a Letter To Your Future Self

• by Celes     |    
• Filed in Self-Improvement

(Image: Agnes Kantaruk )

Have you written a letter to your future self before? Back in the early 2010s, I came across the Yahoo! Time Capsule, where users could contribute to a digital legacy of how life was in 2006, which would be opened at a later date. I then came up with the idea of writing a letter to your future self, where you write a personal note to your future self, seal it, and then open it at a future date. There are no restrictions on how far you should project into the future — you can write to your future self 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, or even 10 years from now!

Why Write a Letter To Your Future Self?

Doing this exercise can be a very powerful experience.

Imagine writing to your future self 5 years from now — what would you say to him/her? What kind of person would you be? What goals would you want to have achieved? Writing the letter gets you thinking about your goals 5 years from now. As you write your letter, you start to think about the actions you should take now to achieve your goals by then.

When you read your letter 5 years into the future, you can assess (a) whether this vision you wrote before matches who you are today, and (b) how much of it has been achieved. Often times, our life plans are subjected to many changes due to unexpected obstacles, unanticipated circumstances, and changing life priorities. Your letter lets you take a step back and identify the things you need to continue or do differently to move forward.

In addition, when you write your letter, your consciousness and thoughts are stored in your words. When you read it, it’s like you are being contacted by the old you. It gives you a different insight into yourself and lets you see how much you have changed since then. :)

How To Write Your Letter

While you can write to your future self from any time period, I recommend to start with a one year time frame. This way, it’s easier to envision your goals, and it also gives you a comfortable time frame to take action.

(If you like, you can write two letters, one to the future you a year later and another to the future you three or five years later.)

Refer to today’s date.

• What do you want to be one year from now?
• What are the goals and dreams you want realized by then?
• What is your desired status for the areas on your  life wheel ? Career/Business/Studies? Money/Wealth? Family? Friends? Love? Health? Spirituality? Recreation? Contribution? Self-Image?
• Once you’re done, sign off with your name and today’s date.
• Put the papers in an envelope. Seal it.
• On the cover, write “To [Your Name]. To be opened on [Date].” Replace “[Your Name]” with your name, with “[Date]” the date that’s one year from now.
• Set an appointment in your calendar to open your letter one year from now.
• Put this envelope in a safe place where no one can access it.
• In this one year, work hard on your goals and vision! Then open and read your letter one year from today. :)

For your letter format, you can either write a physical letter or type it. I used to write my letters using pen and paper, but I’ve since switched to typing and printing the final copy (this way I have a backup if anything happens).

You can use  FutureMe.org , a service that helps you send your message to your desired email address at any point in the future. Personally I recommend to write your letter on your computer and store it, rather than using such a service. With an external service, you never know who has access to your letters, and your letter will be gone if the service gets shut down.

Opening My Letter From My Past Self

Back in 2008, on February 2010, I wrote two letters to my future selves. The first letter was to my future self one year later, on February 10, 2009. The second letter was to my future self 5 years later, on February 10, 2013.

So a year later on February 10, 2009, I opened my first letter and read in excitement . It was interesting seeing what I was like a year ago and how much I have changed. There were some things that I accurately foresaw, and many things I didn’t anticipate.

In terms of goals, I had achieved several goals. For Career, I leapt ahead of my predictions — in my letter, I wrote that I would still be working in my ex-company while working on my purpose on the side, and quit my job a few years later. As it turned out, I had already quit my job and started working on my purpose full time! :) In terms of Health, I had reached my desired weight/look, something I was really proud of as losing weight was something I had struggled with for years.

There were some goals I had not reached yet. For example for Love, I thought that I would have found my relationship partner by then, but I had not. This wasn’t an issue as I came to the realization that  we are already perfect as singles  (I would later meet my husband in 2013). In terms of Friendship, some friends whom I thought I would still be on great terms with had slipped away. Instead, I formed great friendships with other people in the past year. In a way, it’s a natural equilibrium — when you let go of certain connections, new connections will take their place.

There were goals that I didn’t reach as I abandoned them halfway because they lost meaning to me. For example, buying a car. When I received a pay rise the previous year and was able to consider getting a car, I realized that owning a car in Singapore, where public transport is readily available, does not resonate with my highest self. My original intent of getting a car was more for image reasons — growing up, we were often told that having a car was a symbol of success. That desire had long been shed, along with my old self. Not to mention, having a car isn’t exactly environmentally friendly.

On the same note, I had changed in the past year in terms of my materialistic tendencies. While I was not a materialistic person when I wrote my letter in 2008 (I was 23), I became less materialistic since, given my revelations on material wealth and goods . My consciousness was also higher as I had been working a lot on my growth.

All in all, reading my letter made me realize several things. It made me more conscious of how I have changed vs. the past (vs. just relying on memory). It reminded me of some of my past visions that I lost track of along the way. It made me appreciate how far I have come and look forward to the future.

Subsequently, I opened my 5-year letter and share my results here: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self [Video]

Write Your Letter To Your Future Self

Grab your pen and paper now and start writing your letter to your future self! Identify a time period to write to, imagine what you would be like, and then start writing! Think about the kind of person you would like to be, what you would want to be doing, what you would have accomplished by then, and what you want to say to yourself.

Follow the steps in the exercise above. Get working on your goals, then open your letter with pride a year from now! :)

Update Aug 2014 : I created a video tutorial on writing a letter to your future self, where I share more tips plus open my 5-year letter to myself. Watch: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self [Video]

For those of you with  Live a Better Life in 30 Days , the task for Day 29 is to write a letter to your future self.

Hi, I’m Celes. Thanks for reading. Personal Excellence is where I write about how to live our best life as we tackle life’s challenges.  About Me »

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• To your next birthday (obviously!)
• To a date by which you predict we are "back to normal" and recovered from the Covid-19 pandemic. What did we learn?
• Uma data que você atingiu um objetivo importante (Se formou? Se casou? Aposentou!)
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Writing a Letter to Your Future Self: Benefits, Guide, and Template

Writing a letter to our future selves is a simple yet profound practice that has the power to transform our lives.

 This act of self-expression serves as a conduit to our innermost thoughts, allowing us to capture our hopes, fears, and desires in a tangible form. By embarking on this journey of self-reflection, we open ourselves up to the possibility of profound personal growth and positive change. In this article, we delve into the remarkable impact of writing a letter to your future self and explore how this practice can shape the trajectory of your life.

3 Reasons to Write a Letter to Your Future Self: Benefits

1. reflection and self-awareness.

Writing a letter to your future self provides a unique opportunity for reflection and self-awareness. By capturing your current thoughts, emotions, and experiences, you gain insight into who you are at this moment in time. This act of self-reflection allows you to understand your desires, fears, and motivations, enabling you to navigate your life with greater clarity and purpose.

2. Goal Setting and Intentions

One of the remarkable benefits of writing a letter to your future self is the ability to set clear goals and intentions. As you pen your thoughts, dreams, and aspirations, you articulate your vision for the future. This goal-setting process helps you identify what truly matters to you and creates a roadmap for achieving your desired outcomes. The act of writing down your goals significantly increases your commitment to them, making you more likely to take the necessary steps to turn them into reality.

3. Personal Growth and Transformation

Revisiting the letter to your future self allows you to witness your personal growth and transformation over time. Months or even years later, as you open the letter, you gain a fresh perspective on your past self. You can celebrate the progress you've made, acknowledge the challenges you've overcome, and recognize the person you've become. This powerful reminder of your resilience and personal evolution serves as motivation to continue growing and striving toward your dreams.

How to Write a Letter to Your Future Self

Choose a meaningful timeframe.

Select a timeframe for your letter that aligns with your goals. You may opt for a year, five years, or even a decade into the future. Consider both long-term and short-term perspectives to capture different aspects of your life journey.

Find a Quiet and Inspiring Environment

Create a calm and distraction-free space for writing your letter. Find a place that inspires you and allows your thoughts to flow freely. Consider incorporating elements such as soothing music, scented candles, or natural surroundings to enhance your creativity and introspection.

Reflect on Your Current State

Take the time to reflect on your current thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Explore your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for growth. Use this opportunity to gain clarity about what you want to achieve and the person you want to become.

Set Clear Goals and Intentions

Define specific goals and aspirations in your letter. Be clear about what you want to accomplish and the steps you plan to take to achieve them. Write down your intentions with conviction, and visualize the future you desire.

Express Your Emotions and Dreams

Let your emotions flow onto the paper. Be authentic and vulnerable as you share your hopes, fears, and dreams. Use this letter as a safe space to express yourself fully and honestly.

In the TED video below, Meg Jay shares the essential questions to ask your future self thus enabling your present and future to align so you can start achieving your goals.

Use the ‘GROW’ Template for Writing To Your Future Self

G - Gratitude and Reflection

R - Realizations and Lessons Learned

O - Outlook and Aspirations

W - Wishes and Dreams

Now let's break down each step of the acronym:

G - Gratitude and Reflection:

Express gratitude for the experiences, people, and opportunities that have shaped your life. Reflect on the positive aspects and milestones you have achieved. Acknowledge the blessings and lessons you have received along the way.

R - Realizations and Lessons Learned:

Share the realizations you have had about yourself, others, and the world around you. Reflect on the lessons you have learned from various experiences and challenges. Discuss how these insights have impacted your growth and understanding.

O - Outlook and Aspirations:

Describe your current outlook on life and the future. Share your aspirations and goals for personal and professional development. Discuss the vision you have for yourself and the steps you plan to take to achieve it.

W - Wishes and Dreams:

Articulate your wishes and dreams for the future. Share the things you hope to experience, the places you want to visit, or the achievements you aspire to. Express your deepest desires and the possibilities you envision for yourself.

By following the "GROW" acronym, you can structure your letter to your future self, covering gratitude and reflection, realizations and lessons learned, outlook and aspirations, as well as wishes and dreams. This framework allows you to reflect on your journey, express your aspirations, and inspire your future self.

Revisiting Your Letter

Timing and frequency.

Decide when and how often you will open the letter to your future self. Give yourself enough time to grow and experience life before revisiting it. Some choose to open it on a specific date or milestone, while others prefer to keep it sealed for several years.

Reflection and Assessment

As you read your letter, reflect on the goals and intentions you set. Assess your progress, achievements, and the lessons you have learned along the way. Celebrate your successes and use any setbacks as opportunities for growth and course correction.

Adjusting and Realigning

Based on your newfound insights, make adjustments and realign your path as needed. Goals may change, and priorities may shift over time. Use the letter as a guide to navigate your journey and stay connected to your authentic self.

Writing a letter to your future self is a powerful practice that invites self-reflection, goal-setting, and personal growth. It allows you to capture the essence of who you are today and provides a glimpse into the person you aspire to become. Embrace this transformative journey of self-discovery, and let the act of writing guide you toward a future filled with purpose, fulfillment, and growth. So take some time to sit down and put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and send a message to the person you hope to become.

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How to Write a Meaningful Letter to Your Future Self

Updated 08/18/2022

Published 03/31/2020

Yvonne Bertovich

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Sometimes clarity comes when we least expect it. If you’re hoping to gain a better understanding of some aspect of your life, or you’d like to create an opportunity for your future self to reflect, a personal letter is a great way to do so. 

Writing a letter to yourself might also prompt you to think ahead about your end-of-life plans, from continuing your legacy with a platform like GatheringUs  to making sure your assets are taken care of with an online will maker like  Trust & Will .

Jump ahead to these sections:

Step 1: have a purpose (or don’t), step 2: attempt some discipline or focus, step 3: set the mood, step 4: decide a delivery or open date, step 5: write it out, step 6: put it in a safe place, examples of letters to your future self.

The best part about a personal letter is that you don’t have to worry about all of the typical conventions that come along with more formal letter writing, such as professional thank you letters . You have the power and freedom to practice total honesty, which, after you’re done, will likely feel quite liberating.

If you’re still feeling tentative or unsure about writing this letter, we compiled the following guide. However, you can take all of the following steps as a suggestion. You don’t have to follow any of them. Sometimes there is a lot of wisdom to be found in recklessly letting loose on a piece of paper, especially if you’re going through an emotional time—either a high-high, or a low-low. 

Maybe this is the very first time you’ve ever written a formal (or informal) letter to yourself. You shouldn’t feel silly for wanting to do so. You never know what you’ll gain from anything if you don’t try, and you don’t have anything to lose. 

Unlike other types of writing, such as writing a commemorative speech , a letter to yourself can be fairly casual. You can speak in a language and even codes that only you understand. Letters to yourself also differ from speeches or eulogies , too, in that your purpose is unique to you. 

Feel free to ask yourself the following questions to help the process along:

• Are you writing about a specific topic, or do you just need to vent?
• Would you prefer to handwrite your letter or type it?
• Are you placing a time limit on when your letter is complete, or do you plan to add to it?
• What key points do you want to be able to reflect on?
• Where do you hope to be when you open it (physically, emotionally, spiritually)?

If you’re sitting down, or pacing the room and occasionally stopping to scribble or type something, you’re obviously trying to complete this letter with some intention. You owe it to your future self to collect your thoughts and ideas in a somewhat coherent way so that they can be of value later.

That being said, you shouldn’t be tempted to “hold back” in this letter. If all goes as planned, after all, you’re the only one who’s going to be reading it anyway. Why would you give yourself nothing but the ugly truth? 

Perhaps you’re struggling with a particular aspect of your life right now more than others. Or, maybe it’s a recurring set of thoughts you’re trying to move past. On the other hand, maybe you’re doing amazing, and you’re worried it’s all gonna fizzle out.

These aren’t irrational feelings, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about them. You’re already beginning your winning streak by taking some real action. 

Though hammering away at your keyboard at 1 am may seem like the most vulnerable time to write a letter — perhaps as a way to tire yourself out — it may not be the best time. You’d likely benefit more if you do yourself a service and create a safe, inspiring, and comfortable environment to draft your letter. 

How can you accomplish the right mood to write a letter to yourself?

• Choose a familiar room or outdoor location: You may simply pick your desk at home, a favorite reading nook, or perhaps a park you love to go to.
• Make sure your chair or sitting area is comfortable: In all honesty, being sprawled out on the floor works fine, too. However, you owe it to your back and the quality of the letter to pick a good spot.
• Play some music to fit your mood: If you’re in the mood to listen to sad music, songs about living life to the fullest , or music that’s so horrible it’s good — it doesn’t matter which you choose, just as long as you vibe with it.
• Have a drink (or two): There’s no hiding that some of us are more productive with good caffeine, or perhaps you’d rather unwind with your favorite wine. Consider keeping a glass of water as an alternate, too. 
• Give yourself some time: Don’t try to cram this letter writing into a 15-minute window before you need to go to work. Well, you could, if you’re feeling compelled, but you likely won’t get as much out of this exercise as you possibly could. 

The “delivery” or open date of your letter is fairly significant. Setting a specific date may seem odd. What if you’re not ready to read it then? What if you won’t feel any different by that time? This is where you have to have some trust in your path. Whatever you’re upset — or absolutely loving — about life right now may not be permanent. 

It will take hard work to either gain or maintain everything you have going for you right now. If you don’t want to set a firm date, instead, you can set a time limit.

For example, you can open your letter after your graduation, after the new year, after you land your next job, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a date so much as it has to be a feeling and a preparedness. You may also choose to write a letter to yourself to help you better remember a family member . 

We’ll let you in on a secret: your first draft doesn’t have to be your final. However, it may benefit you to have just one draft. Why? Your thoughts — if even scattered or grammatically incorrect — will be the most raw and vulnerable in the first draft. If after you seal up the letter you think of the perfect way to phrase something or have some other epiphany — that’s great. 

Jot it down somewhere else. And, perhaps the letter is already doing its job — teaching you something about yourself, your circumstances, or your outlook. 

When it comes to storing your letter for safe-keeping, treat it like a prized possession or a family heirloom . Do your best not to lose it.

For your letter to truly become impactful later or even fall flat, it will make you feel what it’s supposed to if you seal it for good till your designated open date. You owe it to your original feelings to let them be as they were in the moment. 

Let the letter marinate alone. Don’t disturb it. Perhaps, after reading it, you’ll have so much clarity about a certain situation that you thought you’d never have while you were drafting. If all you do after finally reading your letter is scoff to yourself a bit, that’s OK. Growth is good. Maturity is good. 

To give you some inspiration or a jumping-off point, we provided some example letters you can draft to your future self below. Again, take this exercise as lightly or as seriously as you’d like. An important thing to remember, too, is to date the letter after you’re done writing it.  

Example one

I know everything seems like the absolute worst right now, and maybe it is. Maybe this is the worst that it’ll be for a long, long time. Or, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’ll get worse than this. We can’t really know until we live it, and we will get through it. 

I hope you’re remembering what’s important. I hope you’re telling people you love them. I hope you’re going out of your way to make people feel good even when you don’t. I hope you’re giving yourself some slack. 

The thing is, kid, we can’t really know what’s in the future till we get there. I’m not gonna lie. We were really worried right now. Worried for our well-being. Worried what we’d have in a few weeks or a few months or worried about what we’d lose in that time, too. But now, as you’re reading this, I hope you take stock. I hope you’re damn grateful for what we do have, and don’t take it for granted. 

You did it, kid. You made it.

Big Love, [You on insert date and time].” 

Example two

“Hey lovely!

You are lovely, remember this. You’re currently listening to a throwback jam, Forever by Chris Brown. It made you smile not so much because of Chris Brown’s questionable character, but because it’s in the infamous scene in The Office that you love so much. You’ve come so far in the past year. You can’t give up now. I can’t wait to see where we are in a few months.

If you’re still feeling anxious, or like things aren’t what you thought they’d be, think of yourself this time last year. You were even more worn out and restless. It’s highly unlikely you’re there again. And, if you are, you know how to get out of it. Even if you don’t have some master plan yet, you know what you have to do to get there.

Just take it one day at a time, and make the most of each one. You know that not every day is guaranteed, so try to remember the moments and experiences that have made you laugh, cry, stress, get angry — whatever. It’s not all for nothing. Just look at where you are now. 

Try to be proud of yourself, you’re doing it!

Love yourself, [You on insert date and time].”

Example three

“Hi [insert name],

It’s Monday morning. Your week is off to an OK start. But, somehow, you feel really stuck. You’re full of questions about where you stand with the people you think are closest to you. You’re full of questions about your job. You’re still having feelings of doubt about your abilities — everything. You’re wondering what the next big thing is. You’re worried it will be a big bad thing. 

I can’t tell you how it’ll all play out. I can’t promise your heart won’t be broken or that you’ll feel better about everything by the time you read this. What I can promise you, however, is that you need to keep sticking to your values. Don’t lose them and hope for a quick fix for all of your problems. Remember, you play the long game. Slow and steady wins the race. Don’t ever forget who you are or be ashamed of it for longer than a second. 

You keep kicking butt, OK?

All the love, [You on insert date and time].”

If you want more examples on how to write about you, read our guide on how to write about yourself .

Your Thoughts Matter Now, and They’ll Matter Then

Sometimes the little things in our lives set us off, till we realize there’s something a lot bigger at work. What writing a letter to your future self can offer you, above all else, is perspective. It doesn’t mean that when you draft your letter you’re not right to be upset about the things you’re upset about. Your feelings are valid. But, in all honesty, you’ll likely realize that certain feelings and frames of mind may not serve your best interests for very long.

Hold onto what serves you best. Let go of what doesn’t. Celebrate everything you go through, no matter how hard it is. And, if nothing else, be grateful that you’re still there to be reading that letter when the day comes.  For more resources about end-of-life planning as well as ideas for birthday resolutions , check out the rest of Cake . 

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How to Write a Letter to Your Future Self (with an Example)

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“ Dear future me , I’d love to remind you not to grow old.” These words were written quite boldly in one of my first future self letters . I didn’t have a letter to future self example to work off at the time, but I instinctively knew I wanted to discuss the things that scared me with my future self. 

Perhaps the assumption is that your future self will be wiser and more readily know how to handle your current worries , or maybe it’s important to remind your future self that you didn’t know now what you will know then.  

Either way, a future self letter is a vital tool for self-development and personal growth. It can also be a great giggle in a few years’ time when you read your thoughts and fears of today and realize you worried about things that didn’t happen. 

With my future self letters, I set goals , tracking my progress at different future dates, revising, and growing. What will your future self letter contain?

Table of Contents

The When, Where, and Why of Writing a Letter to Your Future Self

A letter to your future self is a record of your life right now , creating a document you can reflect on when you have traveled a few years down the line. It also gives you a way to reflect on your life right now and consider how it will appear in the future. 

I always loved the line from The Terminator , where one waitress tells the other, “ Look at it this way: in 100 years, who’s going to care ? ” A future self letter is about your current self wondering whether anyone will care about things in a decade, or when you’re 50, 60, or older. 

Future self letters are also about capturing special moments or pivotal experiences, so you won’t forget these in the future. Getting the job of your dreams only to quit it a day later because you realize other things matter more may be an example of a “future self letter moment.”

You can write a future self letter anytime, whenever you need to capture some important information or leave a bit of wisdom for yourself in the near future. The where of a future self letter may depend on the situations you experience and what you desire. You may be struck by inspiration while on your morning commute. Whenever an opportunity arises to write to your future self, you should take hold of it with both hands. 

Every person’s “why” of writing depends on what they experience and how they interpret their experiences in life. You may want to write to your future self to be heard , seen , and understood . Or you may write your future self letter to maintain a forward-facing attitude in life. Future self letters can also help you deal with issues and accept that not all worries will come true (in fact, most won’t). 

Pros and Cons of a Future Self Letter

There are several pros and cons to writing future self letters. Let’s consider the pros first:

• It allows you to reflect and remember.
• It brings planning into your control.
• It helps to place life in perspective . 
• It shares your daily legacy and records your growth .
• It develops forward thinking instead of only focusing on the now (and the now can be totally overwhelming).

When you write future self letters, there are also a few cons to keep in mind :

• You can become fixated on your future self , forgetting to live in the now.
• Procrastination can worsen when you try to write a “perfect” future self letter—and the point is to just write one (no matter what’s in it).
• You may try to make your life “epic,” forgetting that your life is unique and amazing as it is, so don’t dress up your life—just be you. 

Writing a Letter to Your Future Self: Step by Step

Ready to write your first future self letter ? It can be quite intimidating to know where to start. You may not even know what to put into the letter, and are you supposed to read the letter again, or do you bury it in a dated envelope like some secret mission instructions? 

Here are a few steps to help you get started with writing your future self letters and demystify the process: 

1. Decide on Frequency and Reasons for Writing Your Future Self Letters

Before you put pen to paper, decide why you are writing to your future self. Are you hoping to remind yourself of things happening now for when you are living in the future? Perhaps you want to spread gratitude for something special a decade or more from now? 

Whatever your reason for writing to your future self, it’s helpful to know why you write as you can then identify topics you want to write about. 

Also, decide whether your future self will actually read these letters , and when would you like the future you to read them? Perhaps you want to date each letter to a specific age or date you will reach in the future? 

Try this: On a blank page, with no lines, create a spider-diagram where you start with “why” and branch out to reasons why: to remember , to celebrate , to caution , to ask , to feel less alone, and more. 

2. Pick a Medium to Write the Letter

Believe it or not, but how you write the letter (either on paper or digitally) will have a significant influence on the writing process. 

Digital letters are less personal, but you can add images , voice notes , and videos to make these more interactive. Handwritten letters have personality and show how you were feeling at the time of writing the letter. There’s something deeply personal about writing each letter by hand. 

Try this: Why not have the best of both worlds by writing by hand and then scanning these letters to your computer so you can add images , voice notes, and more?

3. Decide on Contents and Your Future Self Age

For the sake of clarity and to avoid letters that ramble on endlessly, choose a few topics to add to a letter. I try not to write about more than two or three topics per letter to keep things as clear as possible. I may also use creative headings to help split where one topic begins and another ends. 

While topic headings are typical tactics used by content writers for Google, you can borrow a leaf out of their book to keep your letter clear . A list of some topics you can write about includes:

• Events 
• Feelings 
• Friends and enemies 
• Animals or pets
• The news 
• Lessons learned 
• Your health 
• Spirituality 
• Hobbies 
• Relaxation 
• Favorites 
• Decisions you’ve made
• Global issues such as climate change and how you are trying to stop this
• Finances 
• Forgiveness 

4. Keep It Real and Authentic 

Your future self letter shouldn’t be too formal. Try to assume the tone of voice that is normal for a good friend to use. You want your future self to want to read your letter , so keep it interesting and light without seeming to be pretending. 

Your future self needs to believe you , so keep it real . You can also write every morning , like a journal to your future self if that works best for you.

Try this: When you have finished your future self letter, try reading it aloud and noting your body’s reactions to the sound of your voice and the words you speak. If your letter sounds like you are speaking to an audience, it’s not written for your future self. This is an honest and open discussion, not an Oscars speech. 

5. Use Reflective Questions 

The secret to any speech or talk is to establish a connection.  Using reflective questions , words and associations, and real tasks are preserved for your future self to continue your introspection.

Try this: Ask questions like:

• Do you remember when …
• How did you …
• Was it always like this …
• Have you forgotten about …

6. Don’t Forget Gratitude and Compassion

When you cultivate the attitude of gratitude , you create powerful forces in your future , namely positivity and creativity. Gratitude is often reduced to a simple word—“Thanks”—when you really need to practice gratitude daily. 

Letters of gratitude also help remind you of all you have to be thankful for now and in the future. 

Having compassion with your future self is also about having self-compassion, which is something most of us desperately lack. Take the opportunity of your letter to record your understanding of your future self and reflect on why you need to be more kind to yourself. 

Try this: Write down what you do each day to show your gratitude for things that happen in your life. Some of us respond better to visual stimuli , so take a day to photograph all the things , moments, exchanges , and people you are grateful for having in your life.  

7. Future Self Example 

Dear Sara,  Hope you are doing well.  It’s New Year’s Eve, and as I write this letter, the fireworks and rowdy singing of the neighbors echo across the neighborhood. This year, I chose to spend the holidays alone , not traveling to my family for the first time. I wanted time for reflection and to find more inner peace.  I’ve discovered this year that there are too many people in my life who are here simply in a transactional nature , leaching time from me. Do you still find people like that? Have you stuck to the plan I’ve made today to only have people in your (my) life who reciprocate with love and kindness?   My spiritual journey this year has been huge, and I wish I could share it with someone. Are you still on the path of enlightenment , or have you given up and returned to easier roads where you know exactly what to do and what lies ahead? Of course, there’s nothing wrong with returning to your previous beliefs, but I do hope you stayed the course and have really discovered your own inner light. How has your health been? Have the yoga sessions I started this year helped? I really didn’t like feeling so tired and lethargic this year, so I hope you followed through and kept up the stretching. It’s not always easy to keep doing physical exercise when you’re tired, but I know you can do it and succeed in completing the yoga classes.  I have to talk to you about Ben and our relationship. Lately, Ben has been very clingy and needy, and I feel stifled . While I spoke to him about his behavior, he showed little interest in listening or changing. I feel lost, but I know you get me.  Please don’t fall for guys like Ben again. You are so much worthier than what he is like. I know you can find real love  where the other person communicates in your love language, and they show you the respect you are so worthy of.  On the job front, you know the hell I’ve been through the last few years, and I really appreciate all you’ve done to encourage me . Have you found a better job? I am proud of you, regardless of what you’ve chosen. Have you set a few career goals , and how are you planning to reach them?  As always, stay strong, keep your chin up , and eyes bright while fighting your battles each day. 

Final Thoughts on How to Write a Letter to Future Self Example

Before you know it, the future is here . While you may color your hair and botox your face, you are still aging , and you are not the same person you were 20 years ago. The future you , who is reading the letters written by you in the past, will appreciate the learning opportunities and moments for reflection that your letters bring. These letters create a bridge between the past and the future. 

Writing a letter to your future self also reads much easier when you use clear headings or themes to keep some structure in your letter —otherwise you are writing gibberish which nobody can decipher, least of all your future self. 

Sometimes, you need to write a letter of sympathy and empathy to your past self that has suffered greatly to help you feel that you were seen , understood , heard , and “ gotten .” Your own empathy can be the best gift you can give yourself with a future self-letter. When you read this future self letter in 10 or 20 years’ time, you may better understand yourself and the decisions you are making right now. 

To find out more about the power of writing letters , why not read my article writing a letter to your disrespectful daughter ? Happy writing!

Finally, if you don’t know the “right” way to journal, then check out this seven-step process for building a journaling habit that sticks .

• How (and Why) to Write a Letter to Your Future Self

Writing a letter to your future self is one of my most memorable bucket list checks. It was like creating a time capsule of my thoughts, dreams, and the incredible journey you’re on. Are you ready to write your own?

You can fill it with facts of where your life is in the present moment and will hopes for the future. Just think about how powerful it might be when you read this “dear future me letter”. It could be a reminder of who you were versus who you wanted to be. It would be a little kick in the butt to make sure that you are heading in that direction and in order to limit life’s biggest regrets . It can bring much value to your life—I know it did for myself. And that’s why it is a great bucket list idea .

Why is Writing a Letter to Your Future Self a Good Idea?

• Reality check. As we live, we tend to forget about many decisions, promises, and other valuable things. Sometimes we make mistakes which we don’t want to repeat, but eventually, forget about them and step on the same rake. This letter will be a reality, helping you to raise some thought provoking questions and see if you are moving in the right direction.
• Self-reflection.  Many prominent and successful people have a journal where they engaged in self-reflection, and change their lives. You can follow that example and you’ll be able to get yourself on a new personal level.
• Time-machine. Your diaries/letters are like time-machines. Years pass, and the moment you read them, you immerse into that past reality. You are suddenly that young, less mature, happy, silly, and very real past YOU. And you will see how much you have changed since that time. Whether it makes you laugh or cry, it will definitely be a precious experience.
• Reminder. A letter to yourself is remind yourself of something really important and valuable. Life can be hectic a lot of the times. And the most meaningful things and dreams to people might slip out of our minds—being pushed to the back burner. This letter will help you remember what is important to you.

How to Write a Letter to Your Future Self

First things first, find a cozy spot, grab a cup of your favorite brew (tea, coffee, or maybe something a bit fancier), and let’s get those creative juices flowing. Then follow these steps for inspiration:

Ask Yourself Some Questions

Your letter can include answers to some of life’s most thought provoking questions , like these:

• What lessons have I learned up until this point? Life will definitely have given you some precious knowledge… help yourself verbalize it.
• What goals have I achieved? Who helped me on the way? How did I thank them? Sometimes we are so committed to achieving the next goal that we forget to both enjoy your victories and thank those people who helped you reach the pinnacle. Gratitude and joy are extremely important.
• Am I happy? Perhaps, one of the most important questions. We all want to be happy and sometimes we forget to stop for a second and enjoy it. Enjoy our healthy body, enjoy our partner, enjoy our kids, enjoy this beautiful morning, and a cup of orange juice and here are 100 other things to be thankful for .
• What is important to me? This question will make you redefine your values. Important things might change over time, so it is a useful idea to reflect on this.
• Am I living this life true to MYSELF? If you try to meet everyone else’s expectations, you might be drifting far away from yours.
• Am I spending enough time on things that matter? This question will help you see if you pay enough attention to the essential things in your life. You’ll see if the constant flow of events didn’t carry you away.
• Do I take enough care of my health and myself? Some people treat their bodies just like containers to transport their minds without realizing that your body is like a vehicle. If you knew that you are going to have this car for the rest of your life, how would you treat it?

If these questions are not enough to get your letter writing juices flowing, then read this article: hard questions to ask yourself .

Share Your Current Beliefs

Tell your future self about your principles and beliefs in such areas of life as:

• Family. If someone in your family made some mistake you want to avoid, tell your future self about it. You wanted your dad to work less and spend more time with you? Then, tell your future self to prioritize family time.
• Friends. Describe your friends and why you are close to these people. Write about some funny situations or about some precious moments, when this person really helped you.
• Health. Tell your future self about how you maintain your health. Give yourself some reminders about the way of life and lifestyle habits you should be sticking to.
• Relationships. What’s important in your relationship? What type of partner are you attracted to? What traits of character do you want to see in your future partner?
• Career. Share your career goals and plans. Tell yourself about what you are currently doing for work and what your ambitions are. After this, you might want to analyze this passage now and create a step-by-step plan on how to actually reach those goals.
• Spirituality. What are your spiritual principles? What do you believe in? How do you support your spiritual practice? In hard times, this is our communication with God that actually helps us out. So, remind yourself of your values and principles.
• Finance & Money. Share with your future self some beliefs about money and your current financial situation.

Define Things You Want in the Future

This is the most important part of your letter, which will help you process your life experience and become a better version of yourself.

• What should I remember?
• What are my goals for the future?
• What habits should I start to be healthier?
• What relationships need more attention and what ones need to be dissolved?
• What should I exclude from my life? What should I add to my life.

It’s perfectly okay to type your letter or use a simple piece of white paper, but to make it a little more special you can also buy a pretty paper and envelope set ( like this one ) or a beautiful leather journal .

Store Your Letter With a Future Open Date

Store your letter in a way that you will not be tempted to read it before its time, but also in a way that it will not be forgotten. The best way is to put it into a sealed envelope with the open date boldly marked on it. Then, you can set a reminder on the calendar of the exact date you want to open it (and the location where you hid it!).

How long should you wait to open your letter? That depends on you. I recommend at least one year, but five would be even better. You could also make a plan to write a new letter every five years.

Letter to Myself Example

On my 40th birthday I wrote a very special letter to my future self, and here it is:

Dear Future Self,

Today is your 40th birthday and as you look back you realize that you have had many fortunate experiences and time appears to have flown by. But, looking forward you are filled with hope, dreams and excitement. The one thing you wish is that what you know now you knew when you were 20. To myself, I write this letter to the future me.

What You Know Now:

You now realize that in your 20’s you thought that your career defined you, but now it enhances your life. Though you have worked for fabulous companies, you know that your heart lies in being your own boss and hope to continue down that path for the rest of your life. You definitely feel that the restaurant business is a passion, but you have many others and dream of becoming a writer of “bucket list” books, creating cork art to sell and otherwise having a career that allows you the freedom to travel.

In earlier life your main concentration was on “becoming a millionaire” and now you just want to simplify. You understand that you can only wear so many clothes, friends don’t really care what kind of car you drive and huge diamond rings don’t equal true love. You still have the desire to have money, but you would like to spend it on creating experiences instead of accumulating material items.

RELATIONSHIPS & MARRIAGE

You have been married for 12 years and the dynamic of the relationship has changed dramatically since year one. You were once obsessed about knowing the security of the future and now know that things happen and no matter what you will be okay. You know that acceptance of your partner is so important and you have been successful at that. You realize that marriage is not always roses & butterflies, but nothing is and you are willing to work at making it better. With that said, you believe that relationships should mostly be roses & butterflies or else it’s not worth sacrificing your happiness. You truly love your husband, but still struggle with “unconditional” love and need to continuously strive to make sure he feels it .

You have spent many years searching for your passion, hoping that there was that one thing you would be excellent at. You now know that the search is your passion and within this search are the times you feel most alive. You have now dedicated much of your life to experiencing new things and truly feel that is your permanent infatuation.

LIFE ENHANCEMENT

In this letter to my future self I want to emphasis how the power of being present has changed your life. Having the ability to not think about the past or worry about the future has been a long, challenging path and is still a work in progress. But, you have realized that it is a huge key to happiness. Also, you spent much time challenging your negative thoughts, pointing out the positive every time you had one. It has proven to be successful in the process of being joyful. Another important thing you feel is that, in most cases, honesty truly is the best policy. It has not failed you. You now feel that happiness is a choice and you try to choose it whenever you can! You have also realized that the one person that has to take care of you is you!

You have accepted the faults of your family with love, though these faults still emotionally affect you more than you wish. You take comfort in the fact that you know your mother would take her own life for you, but hope that she will realize that her healthy lifestyle means more to you than anything. You have almost stopped fantasizing about having the father figure you see in the movies, though you still long to have a stronger relationship with him. You have effectively cut out the communication with family members that do not enhance your life and don’t feel guilty.

STYLE & AGING

For the most part, you feel pretty. Pretty in a way that lacks the insecurities or conceit of when you were younger. You can see the effects of aging, but do not compare yourself to younger versions. On most days, you feel that you look good for your age and your goal is to have that feeling at every age. You still love stylish clothing (at a discount!) and dressing nice gives your self esteem a boost. Brand names still do not impress you, you don’t understand the purpose of paying 4 times as much for designer jeans, but definitely would if it made your butt look fabulous! Aging or dying does not particularly scare you, what frightens you is that you will not be able to experience all the things you want to.

In the past couple of years you have been caught thinking, “I love life” and you hope to feel this for many years to come.

Love & Respect,

Hey, you know that awesome feeling when you write a letter to your future self? It’s like chatting with your BFF across time! Pouring out your heart, sharing dreams, and sprinkling some serious wisdom, is a true love letter to your future self. So, grab that pen, spill your guts, and get ready for the most epic conversation with the fabulous person you’re destined to become.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through my links, I earn a commission that helps to keep this blog running—at no extra cost to you. For more information read my full disclosure .

More wellness ideas.

• 75 Random Acts of Kindness Ideas: Examples of Nice Things to Do
• Being Grateful: 250 Things to Be Thankful For Today
• 60 Best Inspirational Songs & Motivational Music
• 225 Daily Positive Affirmations for Women

2 thoughts on “How (and Why) to Write a Letter to Your Future Self”

Annete, this is Nice! Thanks for share the way you see yourself with others. Greice

You should totally do this! It was one of the best things I ever did.

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How to Write an Impactful Letter to Your Future Self in 6 Steps

A 6-step approach, with plenty of brain-sparking ideas, for writing a letter to your future self that you'll be grateful you spent your time on.

Worth Another Shot?

On my first day of high school, our guidance counselor had our class write letters to our 12th grade graduating future selves.

Most of my classmates were too cool to put any effort into it.

I was dorky enough to write a four-page letter. I filled it with YA-novel-worthy predictions/goals/dreams about how many girls I’d kiss and date, who I’d be friends with, and what university I’d be heading to.

Five years later, my classmates and I metamorphosed into the future selves we’d written to. We reassembled in the same room as Day 1. And the counselor returned our letters.

The cool kids had nothing much to look forward to. I was giddy with nostalgia, anticipation, and appreciation to my pre-teen self for making the effort.

What a gift!

And what a surprise.

My predictions were even more hilariously misguided than I recalled, and I could hardly believe I’d written some of the things I read.

I learned a lot from reading my letter to my future self:

• How much life turns out different from expectations.
• How much you turn out differently from expectations.
• How unreliable memories are.
• How fast time flies in retrospect.

Most importantly, I learned the value of doing favors for my future self .

Ever since, I’ve tried to apply that lesson by working to give my future self a healthy body and mind, ample savings, fond memories, and close friends and family.

But I stopped writing letters…

…until today.

Today, I’m writing a second letter to my future self.

I don’t care if other people think it’s uncool. I’m still a dork. And I’m putting a ton of thought into my letter because I want my future self to be extra thankful for it.

Here’s my 6-step plan.

Step 1: Come up with a good reason to do it.

Here’s another lesson I learned more recently:

The more mental effort you put into clarifying the purpose of any activity you take on, the higher the returns you get out of it.

• Dinner parties with friends are more memorable.
• Meetings are less of a waste of time.
• Workouts are more motivated .
• Time is more wisely spent.

So what’s the purpose of writing a letter to your future self?

Or, maybe the better way to put it is this:

How will you know if the exercise has been a success?

Here’s my answer:

My letter to my future self will be a success if, when I read it a year from now, I am grateful I did it and Future Me wants to pass on the favor by writing another one the following year.

That would mean the exercise will have:

• Made me happy (or feeling some other emotion) when I read it.
• Reinforced my patience, long-term thinking, and intentionality.
• Taught me lessons about myself or my psychology that I can learn from and share on this blog.

Step 2: Don’t forget the present.

In 1962, psychiatrist Daniel Offer asked 73 14-year-olds questions about their parents, home, friends, and school. Thirty-four years later, he found 67 of them and tested how accurately they could remember what they had said.

They failed miserably.

Though confident in their answers, the adult’s accuracy in recalling what their 14-year-old selves once thought was no better than wild guesses . They’d forgotten what their favorite pastimes were, how much they disliked homework, and what they thought of their parents.

What does this have to do with writing a letter to your future self?

It goes to show that “memories” are often lies our brains tell us to keep us happy.

That’s why it’s a good idea to start your letter to your future self with what’s going on in your current self’s life.

• Where are you as you write the letter?
• What are your worries, frustrations, and insecurities?
• What are you excited about?
• What’s going on in your life and the world at large?

Add details like the color of the coffee cup you’re drinking from or the dinner party you went to yesterday. They will rekindle more accurate memories.

Be honest . The more honest, the better. Not only will it feel cathartic to do today, but your future self will also appreciate it. It will help them remember just how much you’ve changed over the past year.

And be grateful . Write about what you have today that you may not have a year from now.

Step 3: Look back before you look forward.

Try to set realistic expectations for what you might accomplish between the time you write your letter and when you read it.

For example:

• Don’t expect to magically “cure” your fatness and get back to your ideal weight this year if you’ve been putting on five pounds a year for the past decade.
• Don’t expect to be married to the love of your life by the end of the coming one if you haven’t convinced anyone to go on a second date with you for years.

Such over-ambitious expectations do nothing but discourage you when you almost certainly fail to live up to them.

How do you be more realistic than optimistic in your letter to your future self?

Think back.

If you, like me, are writing a letter to yourself to read a year from now, ask, How much have I changed in the previous year? That’s a good baseline for how much you can realistically hope to change in the coming year.

Since I plan, review, and recap each month as part of my lifelogging practice , I have a very good idea of how my life’s changed. For my letter to my future self, I’m summarizing those changes into three big buckets:

• Social (friends, family, love life)
• Personal (personal development, physical health, mental health, finances)
• Work (jobs, side-hustles, contribution to society)

Then, based on how much progress I’ve made in each over the past year, I’ll plan and predict what I can accomplish in the year to come.

To give you an example, let’s look at my job—my “job”—this blog:

At the beginning of this year, I thought that by now I’d have 250,000 monthly visitors and 10,000 subscribers. Nope. I’m closer to 150,000 and 3,000.

Maybe I’m self-justifying , but it wasn’t a disappointing year by any stretch.

I had no idea how much I’d shift from travel-related content to personal development. And I didn’t imagine how much this would help my own personal development.

So even though the blog hasn’t had the audience growth I hoped for over the past year, I’ve gotten a lot from it—just in a different way than I expected.

Knowing this both tempers my hopes and widens my horizons for the coming year.

Step 4: Make predictions.

Now the fun part of writing a letter to your future self: guessing what will happen between now and the time you read it.

Start by thinking of realistic goals for all aspects of your life—social, personal, and work.

Then disguise your goals as predictions.

This way, you set a direction without being dead-set on a destination. If circumstances change, you won’t feel obliged to fight the current to not fail at achieving your goals. You can accept that your predictions sucked, adjust course, and make the best of your new situation.

To stimulate your creativity, here are some prediction ideas:

General Predictions

• Where do you think your future self will be reading the letter? How will you be feeling as you open it?
• What will have been your proudest accomplishments?
• What will be the fondest memories you’ll have created?
• How will you be different from who you are today?

Measurable Predictions

• Social: How many times will you see your family and close friends this year? How many people will you date?
• Personal: What will be your weight, maximum bench press, or investment portfolio value? How many books will you have read?
• Work: What will your salary be? How many people will be subscribed to your newsletter or following your social media accounts? How many direct reports or employees will you have?

Wild Card Predictions

Make predictions you have no control over but are just for fun and to test your crystal ball reading ability:

• Who will have won the NBA championship?
• Which stocks will have gone boom or bust?
• What will be the hot topics in the news?
• What or who is going to be more/less popular?

Step 5: Brainstorm.

Ask your future self the questions you’re struggling with to take advantage of their additional wisdom, life experience, and perspective.

For example, I will ask my future self:

• Is Kim and my choice to live between Vancouver and Cape Town sustainable and healthy for us and any kids we have?
• Should I keep plugging away at YouTube or reallocate that time to my blog? Or should I try something new like courses or a podcast?
• What skills should I focus on developing to make the most of my potential? Should I hire someone to help me develop them?

If Future You remains uncertain, they can always bring in a third perspective asking their future self the following year.

Step 6: Send your letter.

Maybe the easiest and most private approach is to write yourself an email then snooze it so it returns to your inbox a year from now. ( Here’s how to do so with Gmail. )

If you don’t trust yourself not to sneak a peek during the year, try using FutureMe.org . It’s free. Or you could email it to a friend, delete it from your Sent Emails folder, and set a reminder in your calendar to ask them to send it back.

But probably the best way to send your future self a letter?

An old-fashioned, handwritten letter.

This is the approach I’m taking. I feel that seeing my handwriting will make it more personal, especially if I continue the practice for many years.

If you too go this old-school route, consider the following:

• Insure against the risk of losing the letter by snapping a picture of it and using one of the email techniques as a backup.
• Write the date you wrote the letter and the date to read it on the front of an envelope, put the letter in, and seal it.
• Maybe put a nice bottle of wine with it as a gift for your future self, too.

As far as I could figure out, there is no way to physically mail yourself the letter to have it return to you at a predetermined date in the future, so I’ve hidden it away in my suitcase so it will be with me wherever I end up.

Recap for future reference:

How to write a letter to your future self.

• Set a purpose.
• Start with the present.
• Set reasonable expectations.
• Make predictions.
• Ask questions to Future You.

What Are You (and Future You) Waiting For?

If you’re on the fence about writing a letter to your future self, ask yourself this:

How would you feel if you got a letter from your past self today?

You’d be excited to read it and grateful to your past self for putting in the effort, right? If so, what good excuse do you have for not writing a letter to your future self?

Be a selfless friend to Future You. Set some direction and purpose for the year to come. And have fun with it.

Then go give your future self something to proudly look back upon.

Update: It’s been a year since I wrote my letter to my future self and the results are in! Read how the experiment worked (and didn’t work) for me:

↳ The Benefits and Lessons of Writing a Letter to Your Future Self .

More on this:

Extensive tips for writing impactful letters to your future self, the (un-)expected benefits of writing letters to your future self, example letter to my future self (with structure suggestions).

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I’ve seen a lot of letters to past selves. Here’s what I would say to my post-pandemic self, they read. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are the only one you can count on. Slow down. You can’t go through life afraid to live it. You’re going to be so proud of yourself! I even wrote one in 2019, a tough love letter to my twenty-something self. But why look back? What about our future selves? What questions do we want to ask? What do we wonder?

The theme on Wit & Delight this month is “Show Up As Yourself.” So, I was intrigued to write about the possibility of change and speak to a portion of myself I don’t know. I want to explore how the future me might feel. I want to dedicate time to that mystery soul. This person could have children, not have children, experience loss, grow old, find growth, experience unknown pain, and develop new habits. When we write to selves about the past, we know them and there’s a pompous clarity in the writing. Sure, giving advice to our past selves is fun. But is it helpful? How can we best explore who we might become? How can we best break down the walls of the person we’re afraid to see? How do we write about the unknown?

I want to write a letter with more intention. I want to ask questions and discover what scares me about getting older. In a way, that’s what the most honest writing does for us anyway.

When I think about it, we are always (sort of) writing to future versions of ourselves. We write through dreams and aspirations, ideals, and healing. We imagine the future in great depth, struggling to center on the present. But, I want to write a letter with more intention. I want to ask questions and discover what scares me about getting older. In a way, that’s what the most honest writing does for us anyway. Right? Okay, here goes nothing/everything.

Dear future self,

Hi, it’s me from the past. I’m thirty-five. I don’t know how old you are now. I’m envisioning you’re in your sixties. You’ve lived an entire life. You’re as old as your mom was when you wrote this letter. I guess this letter is sort of like inception. I’m so afraid to write this. I’m struggling to imagine who you are. Can I be honest? You’re you, after all. Right now, I feel selfish. I want to tell you all the things I want in my life. I hope you got them. Right now, your thirty-something self is needy. I want a baby. I don’t want a baby. I want more money. I want to live within my means. Beyond my means. I want more time. I want to scoop minutes up and feel like I can’t possibly carry all the hours to the end of my driveway. I want everyone to live forever. I don’t want to experience deep grief. I’m so lucky. I’m so selfish. 

If you’re sixty, lucky enough to live until then, I know you’ve experienced pain by now. The deep kind, the oceanic kind, the kind that is so dark and expansive, you wouldn’t be able to explain it to me. Are you okay with that grief? I read this quote in Susan Cain’s book Bittersweet recently (you should read it again and see how you feel). “If we could honor sadness a little more, maybe we could see it—rather than enforced smiles and righteous outrage—as the bridge we need to connect with each other. We could remember that no matter how distasteful we might find someone’s opinions, no matter how radiant, or fierce, someone may appear, they have suffered, or they will.” I didn’t mean to jump right into suffering. That must be my fear pouring through. You’ve always been a deeply melancholic person. You love sad music. You have an acute awareness of passing time. You have a joyful curiosity about specific beauty points in the world. Lately, I’ve identified with the Arabic proverb, “Days of honey, days of onion.” You are the definition of bittersweet. Are you still? 

I also read in Bittersweet that, as we get older, we find comfort with the passing of time. I imagine you don’t try and slow it down. You are a quiet way of being, a force of storied tradition, loss, and joy. Does that feel beautiful?

I’m sure you’ve turned toward many humans, loved them, held them, and cared for them. But I hope you’ve done the same for yourself. Somehow, I know you will.

I have some wishes, as well. I hope you transform your sorrow and longings into art. I hope you’ve written a lot of letters. I hope work didn’t consume you, even though you let your job get away from you in your thirties. I hope you gave your parents the stage and the time. I’m sure you’ve turned toward many humans, loved them, held them, and cared for them. But I hope you’ve done the same for yourself. Somehow, I know you will. I want you to remember a few things about this time in your life. I want you to remember how light you felt when you rode Crow, that big chestnut horse you adored. I want you to remember how it felt to see your words in print for the first time, proof you exist. I want you to remember your little yard in front of your first home, the mow lines, and how much you care about grass and impressing the neighbors. I want you to remember late nights in the garage with Jake, refurbishing furniture so everything in your home always reminds you of the work, the polish. I want you to remember the smell of hot tomatoes and summer with your small niece and nephew. I want you to remember their sticky cheeks and bursting, tiny voices. Remember that Jake loves to build you things. Remember the ocean with your mom and sister, how it feels to reach out to them, and love them in the morning fog of Carmel. Remember the Northwoods with your friends when none of you had children. Remember hot, fried buttered buns at fish fries and how much time you had to watch your peonies grow. Remember the feverish wanting of pregnancy , the unknown hope of craving expansiveness, a physical outwardness. 

I also want you to remember the hard things. I want you to remember living paycheck to paycheck, not being able to get the things you wanted because you didn’t have enough money. I want you to remember the doctor bills you struggled to pay, crying on the way home from work, not being able to imagine traveling to other countries, and wondering if your life was limited to 200 miles north, east, south, and west of your home. Did you travel more? Do you still feel this? All these things will feel different to you now, perhaps as distant memories. Small moments in your thirties that you’ll read later like you’re starving. Perhaps there’s something else entirely that makes you feel light. I hope you’re still riding. I can imagine you still care about clean yards and a pretty lawn. That’s what makes you a lot like your dad. We carry our family with us everywhere.

When you were in grade school, you’d write long lists of “favorite things” so you could look back years later and read about how much you’d changed. You were obsessed with seeing that, five years ago, you had a crush on so-and-so and loved (god forbid!) The O.C. and the color blue . 

All these things will feel different to you now, perhaps as distant memories. Small moments in your thirties that you’ll read later like you’re starving. Perhaps there’s something else entirely that makes you feel light.

Let’s try that again! Right now, I’m really into Brené Brown’s podcast (are podcasts still a thing?), Dirty Shirleys, antiquing, The Vermont Country Store catalog, my Gentle Reminder Calendar , Paper Mate colorful pens , watching Love Island (sorry, future me), dressing like Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated , sleep aids like sipping iced Sleepy Time Tea before bed, horse head bookends, weather patterns, gingham accents, and how Jake looks at me when I’m talking about something I love. Do you still love these things? Do you wish for them? In my Passion Planner , I write down the biggest lesson I learn every month. Here’s what I’ve written this year:

• Resonance is important.
• Nothing beyond love and kindness matters.
• Your anger is you. Not anyone else. Sit inside that.
• Stop anticipating, trust the burn.
• Being uncomfortable is progress.
• Sadness is wide, grief is a close friend.
• Nothing should be rushed.
• You can always go back.
• Hold fear and joy in equal glory. Both can exist at once.
• You are always doing better than you think.
• Dandelions are good.
• To be happy, be more tree.
• Don’t go to a concert high.

I’m sure you have so many to add now. Or maybe you don’t. Or maybe you think these are ridiculous. Or maybe you no longer find the need to make “lesson lists.” I’m happy. I have my hard days. I have bad habits. I haven’t gone to the dentist to fill those cavities, so I hope you don’t have five crowns by now. I am putting a lot of money toward my 401K, so I hope I’m setting you up for success. I’m doing my best. That’s the lesson here. My thirty-something best is hopefully your sixty-something peace of mind. 

Will people find this article on the internet in twenty-five years? ( Writer’s Note: Please don’t talk to me about how I’ll be sixty years old in twenty-five years.) Will they find it funny? Weird? I’m not sure. Perhaps, like in the past, internet articles will wash up like a lost bottle in the sea—little shards of the lived. And someday, I will come back to this past self, searching for my future. I might have to print it out, just in case. Either way, I hope you’re happy too. I hope life feels full. I hope the people in your life reflect how you have shown your beacon of light in the world, no matter how faint or how strong.  Sincerely, Brittany, your thirty-something (past) self

Lastly, I highly recommend you try this exercise.

Writing to a later version of myself gave me some specific clarity about who I want to be and how I want to grow. 

Here are some tips to try to write your own “future-self” letter:

• Write down what you want to remember.
• Write down what you don’t want to remember.
• Write about your favorite things.
• Jot down notes about how you’re feeling right now.
• Scribble down the lessons you’ve learned.
• Ask your future self how you’re different now.
• Lastly, write a note to yourself in a year, three years, five years… put them in an envelope and write down the date you can read them again.

Will you write yours?

Brittany Chaffee is an avid storyteller, professional empath, and author. On the daily, she gets paid to strategize and create content for brands. Off work hours, it’s all about a well-lit place, warm bread, and good company. She lives in St.Paul with her baby brother cats, Rami and Monkey. Follow her on Instagram , read more about her latest book, Borderline , and (most importantly) go hug your mother.

BY Brittany Chaffee - September 20, 2022

Like what you see? Share Wit & Delight with a friend: 

amazing article.

Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

What an interesting thing to do I love this idea!

xo Jessica <a href=”https://anindigoday.com/”>an indigo day</a>

Thank you, Jessica! Let me know if you give it a try!

This was absolutely beautiful – I did not expect to stumble across this this morning. Your writing is soft, and clever, and inspiring. You should be proud of what you created here. Thank you for sharing.

I appreciate this so much 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Trying this exercise truly helped me feel closer to myself and I hope it helps others do too! xoxo

This was absolutely beautiful. I didn’t expect to get emotional reading it but as a 36 year old woman so much of what you said was relatable. Thank you

Thank you so kindly, Melissa! This makes my day to hear you could relate to this letter. It was so meaningful for me to write, so I’m happy it was for you as well!

Amazing article! Thanks for the positive and encouraging words of wisdom! 😊

Thank you so much for reading, Britney! Have a lovely weekend!

Thank you for this. I am 70 and my 8 year old adopted daughter has an assignment to do this very thing. I think it will be a great experience for her. Your words reached my heart and came out of my eyes. Thank you

Hello, Diane. It is so incredible to me that your daughter is doing this exercise! I think I did something like it at her age too and I wish I could find that letter now. Thank you for reading and loving.

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How To Write An Emotional Letter to Myself (With Examples!)

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to lose touch with our deepest thoughts and feelings. We often prioritize others’ needs above our own, leaving our emotions unexplored and unexpressed. But what if we took a moment to turn inward, to connect with our innermost selves through the power of writing?

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can be a transformative experience, offering a path to self-discovery, healing, and growth. In this guide, we’ll explore the benefits of this practice, step-by-step instructions on how to write such a letter, and provide inspiring examples to guide you on your journey of self-reflection and self-love.

Benefits of Writing an Emotional Letter to Yourself

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can have profound effects on your mental and emotional well-being. Here are some key benefits of this practice:

#1. Self-Reflection

Writing a letter to yourself encourages deep introspection. It provides a dedicated space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, gaining valuable insight into your innermost desires and fears. Through self-reflection, you can gain a better understanding of yourself and your life’s journey.

#2. Emotional Release

Expressing your emotions on paper can be incredibly cathartic. It offers a safe and non-judgmental outlet to release pent-up feelings, whether they are positive or negative. By allowing yourself to freely express your emotions, you can experience a sense of relief and emotional freedom.

#3. Self-Compassion

Writing a letter to yourself with compassion and understanding can help you cultivate self-compassion. It enables you to treat yourself with the same kindness and care that you would offer to a friend in need. Practicing self-compassion can lead to greater self-acceptance and a more positive self-image.

#4. Validation

Acknowledging your feelings and experiences in a letter to yourself can be validating. It affirms that your emotions are valid and worthy of attention. This validation can be particularly beneficial if you have been struggling with self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy.

#5. Empowerment

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can be empowering. It allows you to take control of your narrative, affirming your ability to overcome challenges and grow from your experiences. By acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments, you can boost your self-confidence and resilience.

#6. Clarity

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can bring clarity to your thoughts and emotions. It provides an opportunity to organize your feelings and gain perspective on challenging situations. By putting your thoughts into words, you can clarify your values, priorities, and goals, leading to a greater sense of direction in your life.

#7. Healing

Writing can be a powerful tool for healing emotional wounds. When you write a letter to yourself, you are acknowledging your pain and expressing a willingness to heal. This process can be therapeutic, helping you to process difficult emotions and move towards forgiveness and acceptance.

#8. Self-Affirmation

An emotional letter to yourself can serve as a form of self-affirmation. By writing about your strengths, accomplishments, and positive qualities, you are reinforcing your self-worth and self-esteem. This can help you develop a more positive self-image and increase your confidence in yourself.

#9. Stress Reduction

Writing can be a stress-relieving activity. When you write a letter to yourself, you are engaging in a form of self-care that can help reduce feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. By expressing your thoughts and feelings on paper, you can create a sense of order and control in your life.

#10. Self-Expression

Writing an emotional letter to yourself allows for creative self-expression. You can use language, imagery, and metaphors to convey your emotions in a way that feels authentic to you. This can be a freeing experience, helping you to express feelings that may be difficult to put into words verbally.

#11. Goal Setting

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can also help with goal setting. By reflecting on your desires and aspirations, you can clarify your goals and create a plan to achieve them. The act of writing down your goals can make them feel more tangible and achievable, motivating you to take action towards realizing your dreams.

#12. Connection

Finally, writing an emotional letter to yourself can deepen your connection with yourself. It allows you to check in with your inner thoughts and feelings, fostering a sense of self-awareness and self-understanding. This self-connection can lead to greater self-acceptance and a stronger sense of self-love, ultimately enhancing your overall well-being.

An Emotional Letter to Myself: How to Write One

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can be a deeply personal and transformative experience. Here are some steps to guide you through the process:

#1. Preparation

Before you begin writing, find a quiet and comfortable space where you can focus without distractions. Create a calming environment with soft lighting, soothing music, or anything else that helps you feel relaxed. Consider lighting a candle or burning incense to enhance the ambiance. Take a few deep breaths to center yourself and clear your mind.

#2. Reflection

Take a few moments to reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Consider what you want to express in your letter and why it is important to you. Reflect on recent experiences or challenges that have impacted you emotionally. You may want to journal or meditate before starting your letter to help organize your thoughts. Write down any thoughts or feelings that come to mind, even if they seem insignificant.

#3. Setting Intentions

Set intentions for your letter. Decide what you hope to achieve by writing it. Whether it’s to gain clarity, seek forgiveness, or simply express gratitude, having a clear intention can guide your writing and make it more meaningful. Write down your intentions and keep them in mind as you write. Consider how you want to feel after writing the letter and what changes you hope to see in yourself.

#4. Addressing Yourself

Start your letter by addressing yourself. Use terms of endearment or a simple “Dear Me” to establish a warm and compassionate tone. This sets the stage for a loving and supportive dialogue with yourself. Consider using your name or a nickname that feels personal and comforting to you. You can also include a brief introduction of who you are at this moment in your life, acknowledging where you are on your journey.

#5. Expressing Gratitude

Begin your letter by expressing gratitude for yourself. Acknowledge your strengths, accomplishments, and the positive qualities that make you who you are. Reflect on the challenges you have overcome and the lessons you have learned. Expressing gratitude can help shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life and boost your self-esteem. Think about specific moments or experiences that you are grateful for and how they have shaped you.

#6. Acknowledging Challenges

In your letter, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges you’ve faced. This can help you validate your emotions and experiences, giving you the opportunity to process them in a healthy way. Reflect on the difficulties you’ve encountered and how they have impacted you. This can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your resilience.

#7. Offering Encouragement

Offering yourself words of encouragement can be incredibly empowering. Write about how proud you are of yourself for facing challenges head-on and for your resilience in difficult times. Encourage yourself to keep going and remind yourself that you are capable of overcoming any obstacles that come your way.

#8. Sharing Insights

Use your letter as an opportunity to share any insights or wisdom you’ve gained from your experiences. Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned and how they have helped you grow as a person. Sharing these insights can not only help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself but also inspire you to continue on your journey of self-discovery and growth.

#9. Being Vulnerable

Allow yourself to be vulnerable in your letter. Open up about your fears, insecurities, and struggles. Being vulnerable can help you connect more deeply with yourself and others, fostering a sense of empathy and understanding. It can also help you release any pent-up emotions and gain a sense of relief and catharsis.

#10. Using Descriptive Language

Use descriptive language to vividly express your emotions and experiences. Use metaphors, similes, and sensory details to paint a picture of your inner world. This can help you connect more deeply with your emotions and convey them in a way that feels authentic and powerful.

#11. Including Examples

Include specific examples from your life to illustrate your points. Share anecdotes or memories that highlight your strengths, challenges, and growth. This can make your letter more personal and relatable, helping you connect more deeply with yourself and your experiences.

#12. Providing Comfort

Offer yourself comfort and reassurance in your letter. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel the way you do and that you are not alone in your struggles. Provide yourself with words of kindness and compassion, just as you would to a loved one going through a tough time.

#13. Closing with Self-Love

Close your letter with words of self-love and affirmation. Remind yourself of your worth and value as a person. Embrace yourself with love and compassion, knowing that you are deserving of kindness and acceptance.

#14. Revisiting and Revising

After writing your letter, take some time to revisit and revise it if necessary. Read through it with a compassionate eye, making any changes or additions that feel right to you. This process can help you clarify your thoughts and feelings and ensure that your message is clear and meaningful.

#15. Reflecting on the Process

Take some time to reflect on the process of writing your letter. Notice how you feel after expressing your emotions and thoughts on paper. Reflect on any insights or realizations you’ve gained from the experience. This reflection can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your emotions, leading to greater self-awareness and growth.

5 Examples of Emotional Letters to Oneself

Here are five examples of emotional letters to yourself, each with a different focus and intention:

#1. A Self-Letter of Forgiveness and Letting Go

I forgive you for past mistakes and failures. I release any lingering guilt or shame and let go of the burden of perfection. You are human, and it’s okay to make mistakes. I embrace your imperfections and celebrate your growth. Let’s move forward with a lighter heart and a renewed sense of self-compassion.

I forgive you for the times you doubted yourself, for the times you fell short of your own expectations. I forgive you for the moments of weakness, for the times you let fear hold you back. I forgive you, not because you deserve it, but because you deserve peace.

#2. A Self-Letter of Self-Compassion and Acceptance

I accept you as you are, flaws and all. You are enough just as you are, and I love you unconditionally. Embrace your imperfections, for they are what make you unique and beautiful. Be gentle with yourself and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.

I accept your mistakes and your shortcomings. I accept your fears and your doubts. I accept your vulnerabilities and your insecurities. I accept all of you, the good and the bad, the light and the dark. You are a beautiful, imperfect human being, and that is perfectly okay.

With love, Yourself

#3. A Self-Letter of Gratitude and Appreciation

My Dearest Self,

I want to thank you for everything you do. Thank you for your resilience, your courage, and your unwavering spirit. Thank you for always striving to be the best version of yourself. I am grateful for your strength and your ability to overcome challenges. You are truly amazing.

I appreciate your kindness and your compassion. I appreciate your determination and your perseverance. I appreciate your laughter and your joy. I appreciate all that you are, and I am grateful to have you in my life.

With love and gratitude, Me

#4. A Self-Letter of Overcoming Challenges

I am so proud of you for how far you’ve come. Despite the challenges you’ve faced, you’ve remained strong and resilient. You’ve overcome obstacles that seemed insurmountable, and you’ve emerged stronger and wiser. Keep believing in yourself and your abilities. You are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

I admire your courage and your perseverance. I admire your optimism and your resilience. I admire your ability to keep going, even when the going gets tough. You are an inspiration to me, and I am so proud to call you mine.

#5. A Self-Letter of Self-Love and Worthiness

To My Beloved Self,

You are worthy of love and belonging just as you are. You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. You are enough, and you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and compassion. Embrace your worthiness and let it guide you on your journey.

You are worthy of your dreams and desires. You are worthy of happiness and fulfillment. You are worthy of all the good things life has to offer. Remember that you are deserving of love, from others and from yourself.

With all my love, Yourself

Closing Thoughts

Writing an emotional letter to yourself can be a powerful act of self-care and self-discovery. It offers a space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a safe and supportive way. Through this practice, you can cultivate self-compassion, gain clarity, and find healing.

It’s a reminder that you are worthy of love, acceptance, and forgiveness, both from yourself and others. So take the time to write a letter to yourself, and embrace the journey of self-discovery and self-love it can bring.

Forgiveness

Transactional writing: letters that heal, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and gratitude are healing..

Posted March 24, 2014 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

"What is healing, but a shift in perspective?” — Mark Doty, Heaven’s Coast

Transactional writing — or letter writing — gets you beyond what you thought you could not get over.

With all the other ways of communicating digitally, we may have lost touch with the power of letter writing to change our lives, but it is still a powerful tool, even in the form of an email. So ask yourself: Do you owe someone a letter? Or maybe you are waiting for a letter that is never going to come? Maybe you should sit right down and write yourself a letter.

Letter writing can be therapeutic for the writer as well as the recipient, and it may be just the thing to help you change perspective.

As described in Expressive Writing: Words That Heal , transactional writing is more formal than expressive writing, although the content may be as personal as expressive writing.

Outside the context of writing to heal, transactional writing often occurs in various professions or businesses and offers an exchange of some value, meets the expectations of another, or completes an obligation. For the sake of writing-to-heal, a guiding principle is that your transactional writing takes care of the business of your emotional life — whether it's new business or unfinished business — in order to express compassion, asking or granting forgiveness , empathy, or gratitude .

Purpose and Audience

The purpose of transactional writing is to complete an exchange of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings with someone else. Although for your transactional writing, you may also consider some aspect of yourself as an audience.

For instance, you may write a letter of compassion, empathy or gratitude to your former self, to your future self, or to another aspect of yourself. Many writers do this, but most write to someone else, whether it be a friend, family member, or significant other. Sometimes participants write to an authority figure; sometimes to a stranger who played an important role in a particular experience.

Observing Conventions

Unlike expressive writing, transactional writing observes some of the common conventions of letters, like a greeting and a closing. In the act of writing any letter, the writer intentionally becomes conscious of another person, and this awareness to a large degree, influences word choice, word order, even the punctuation and sentence structure. So, to a greater extent than expressive writing, transactional writing observes language and style conventions like grammar, spelling, and punctuation as much as the writer is able.

Unsent or Sent

Do not worry about sending the letters you write. In fact, it might be smart to not send the letters you write for this exercise. This exercise is ultimately for your mental health and not the intended recipient’s. If, after finishing the exercise and taking a few days off, go back and look at your letters and reconsider if sending the letters would ultimately be beneficial for others and for you.

Shifting Perspective

Keep in mind, a guiding principle of transactional writing is to become conscious of another’s perspective. A defining characteristic of transactional writing is to communicate a message. Don’t let a concern for conventions become your immediate or primary focus.

Instead, concentrate on communicating your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, opinions, and judgments to another. You are encouraged to write as many drafts of your letter as you wish, so don’t worry about writing a perfect first draft.

Read the five options below and choose the one that serves your purposes best. Or you may decide to combine elements from each option, but you only need to write one letter for this assignment. Of course, if you just can't resist doing all of them, then go for it.

Transactional Writing Choice # 1: The Compassionate Letter

Imagine if someone you love, your closest friend, your child, your partner, or your significant other had suffered some trauma or traumas

In a compassionate and respectful way, write a letter with what advice would you have for them from your experience? You might also:

• Write about what you wish you had known but learned, and what you imagine that they might be able to learn from the event.
• Write about what ways you are now growing and they may also grow.
• Write about any way that there was a benefit to the crisis.
• Write about what your loved one might have learned about himself or herself from going through this difficulty.
• Or you may write about all the above.

As you continue to respond to your loved one, write encouraging words of hope, comfort, and advice.

Transactional Writing Choice #2: The Empathetic Letter

Symbolically take your leave of the past and move forward by composing a letter to yourself or to someone else involved in a distressing event. Try to understand why this person did, said, or acted the way they did.

You aren’t saying what happened is right, just or fair, but are instead trying to understand and empathize. Start from the assumption that the person isn’t a bad person, but just did something that hurt you or that you don’t understand.

• What could they have been thinking?
• What could have happened to them in the past to make them do what they did?
• What could they have felt as they did it, and what did they feel afterward?
• How do they feel now?

After you finish writing, go back and change or add anything you want. Rewrite as necessary until your letter is as good as you can make it.

Transactional Writing Choice #3: The Gratitude Letter

Write a letter to someone in your life that you would like to thank for something they gave you, or something they taught you, or something they have inspired in you. Get right to the point and don’t apologize for not writing before now. Imagine how the recipient may feel when they read your letter.

• Describe your relationship with the person you are thanking and the context for this occasion.
• Describe the gift that you received, the skill you learned, or the inspiration you received from knowing them.
• Tell them what their gift meant to you when you received it.
• Tell them how you felt about it then and now.
• Tell them how you have been able to use this gift or the skill or the inspiration you received from them.
• Tell them how your life has been enriched by what you have received from them and for their presence in your life.

Transactional Writing Choice #4: Granting Forgiveness Letter

Write a letter to someone in your life that you need to forgive for something they did or said or did not do or did not say. (Or write a forgiveness letter to yourself if there is something you did that you wish to forgive yourself for doing or saying. If you are writing to forgive yourself, write as if you were another person. Write in the second person, “you.”)

Before writing, think about the specific situation where you were treated badly by another person. Recall how you felt before, during, and after the event. Imagine how the other person felt and why they felt that way.

Work toward not demonizing the other person, remembering instead that they are humans with fears, insecurities, and stories of their own.

When you begin writing, write words that describe your deepest emotions and thoughts concerning this event in your life. Mention briefly what led up to the event. Focus more on the other person or people who are responsible for what happened.

What do you think was going on in their life at the time? How do you think they feel about it afterward? What will it take for you to forgive them?

Explore what being able to forgive them means to you and to them. As always, write continuously in an uncensored way.

Transactional Writing Choice #5: Asking Forgiveness Letter

Before writing, think about something that you have done in the past that caused someone else emotional pain. Think carefully about what led up to the event, what was going on in your mind at the time, and how you felt afterward.

Imagine how the other person felt and what he or she may have felt and what they may have thought. Briefly describe what happened, but focus on the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

If you can, express your sorrow and write out an apology. Don’t use your writing to justify your actions, but include if you can what it might take to make amends with this person, their family, and friends. As always, write continuously and write in an uncensored way.

A Paper Sacrifice

When your letter is as perfect as you can make it, it is a perfect sacrifice for moving ahead symbolically. Taking care for safety, create a ritual for burning your perfect paper sacrifice — symbolically releasing all that it represents.

Watch your letter burn. Watch the paper become ashes. Watch the smoke rise from the paper. Know that the materials of the ink and the paper have returned to the basic elements. No matter has been created or destroyed, its shape has changed, and that can make all the difference.

See the book, Expressive Writing: Words That Heal by James W. Pennebaker and John F. Evans.

John F. Evans, Ed.D. , is a writer, scholar, and workshop facilitator, as well as the founder and executive director of Wellness & Writing Connections.

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The sympathizer episode 2 recap: 8 biggest reveals.

The Sympathizer episode 2 "Good Little Asian" follows The Captain & The General's new lives in Los Angeles and introduces a new RDJ character.

WARNING: SPOILERS ahead for The Sympathizer episode 2.

• The Sympathizer episode 2 introduces new characters and explores the aftermath of the tragic events from episode 1.
• Professor Hammer, played by RDJ, and Sandra Oh's character Sofia Mori play key roles in The Captain's journey in Los Angeles.
• The intricately woven plot includes coded messages to Man, suspicions of a spy by The General, and a shocking set-up by The Captain.

The Sympathizer episode 2 titled "Good Little Asian" chronicled the aftermath of episode 1's tragic cliffhanger ending. The Sympathizer's cast is led by recent Academy Award winner Robert Downey Jr. as Claude , an eccentric yet incredibly resourceful CIA operative, who is just one of the four characters that RDJ plays in the series . His second character, Professor Hammer, is an Asian-American Studies professor at a college in Los Angeles who used to teach The Captain (Hoa Xuande). The Captain was one of Professor Hammer's most prized students before the events of The Sympathzier take place.

The Sympathizer episode 2 also introduces Sandra Oh's character Sofia Mori who works in Professor Hammer's office. RDJ also appears as the CIA operative Claude in The Sympathizer episode 2, although Claude and Professor Hammer do not meet in the episode. Following the shocking conclusion of The Sympathizer episode 1 , The Captain must continue to keep tabs on The General (Toan Le) in the United States for Man (Duy Nguyen) and the Viet Cong. Despite The Captain nearly dying in the artillery strike at the end of the first episode, he does not question the attack in his covert communications with Man.

Set in the 1975, The Sympathizer is a work of historical fiction that is based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of the same name written by Vietnamese-American professor Viet Thanh Nguyen. The HBO limited series will run for seven hour-length episodes from April to May 2024, with its series finale premiering on May 26, 2024. The acclaimed series currently has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 87% and is already being heralded as one of 2024's must-watch miniseries. The series was created by Don McKellar and Park Chan-wook, the celebrated writer and director of Oldboy (2003), The Handmaiden (2016), and Decision to Leave (2022).

8 The Captain & Bon Make It To The United States

The captain sends a coded letter to man back in vietnam.

The Sympathizer episode 2 begins with The Captain and Bon (Fred Nguyen) driving through the desert of the American West. The Captain drives through Oklahoma and makes a stop in Texas where he purchases corn starch in order to send a coded letter to Man back in Vietnam. At the end of The Sympathizer episode 1, it was unclear whether Bon and The Captain made it to the American airplane during the artillery strike, but episode 2 confirms that they were able to make it on the plane at the last second. Bon is traumatized from losing his wife and his young son during the attack and is clearly still deeply affected by it in the United States.

The Captain sends a coded letter back to Man using the book "Asian Communism and the Oriental Mode of Destruction: On Understanding and Defeating the Marxist Threat to Asia". Man, who received a promotion by the Viet Cong and is still stationed in Vietnam, uses the same book to relay cryptic messages back to The Captain in the United States. While Man uses rice starch, The Capitan uses corn starch based on their geographical differences. The Captain would write the page number, the line number, and the word number in a corn starch based liquid in the spaces underneath the lines of his letters, which Man would be able to discover using an iodine solution.

7 The General & The Captain Arrive At Refugee Camp In Arkansas

The general begins to suspect there is a spy among them.

The Sympathizer episode 2 jumps back in time five weeks before The Captain and Bon make it to Texas when The General and the plane occupants make it to a refugee camp in Arkansas. It's revealed that Bon had to bury his wife and child in Guam before the plane reached its final landing zone at a refugee camp in Arkansas. While at the refugee camp, The General starts to realize he is losing the faith of his supporters in South Vietnam, and several mothers of fallen soldiers attack him. This leads The General to suspect that a sympathizer among them has been working against him , although he has no idea that it's The Captain.

6 The Captain Reunites With His Old College Professor In Los Angeles

Professor hammer gives the captain an unusual assignment.

Once the Captain arrives in Los Angeles to scout for a place for The General and his family to live, one of the first things he does is reunite with his Asian-American Studies college professor, Professor Hammer. The eccentric professor, the second character played by Robert Downey Jr., is excited to see The Captain, although his true name has yet to be revealed. It's in Professor Hammer's office that the Captain meets Sofia Mori for the first time , who listens in as The Capatin is interviewed by a college student for the college newspaper. Professor Hammer invites the Captain to a party and asks him to write about what makes him both "Oriental and Occidental."

5 The Captain Tells Sofia Mori A Shocking Story At Professor Hammer’s Party

This leads to the two of them becoming intimate & starting a fling.

The Captain arrives at Professor Hammer's party wearing a particular suit that Professor Hammer had lent to him in his office. The Capatain gets to know Sofia Mori better at the party after reciting his elaborate answer to Professor Hammer's prompt aloud to his party guests, explaining what parts of him he believes to be Oritental and Occidental. Sofia Mori hands out deviled eggs at the party, which triggers an obscure, unexplained flashback for the Captain that is sure to be expanded on later in the season.

As the party goes on, Sofia Mori establishes to Professor Hammer and the group that while she may be of Japanese descent, she is an American who was born in Gardena, Califronia. Sofia is intrigued by The Captain and claims to see through his "teacher's pet" facade , although she can't quite place what exactly it is that the Captain is concealing. The Captain goes on to explain a wild story from his childhood in which he pleasured himself with a dead squid. Sofia Mori makes fun of the Captain for his bizarre tale but ultimately ends up sparking an affair with the Captain, who takes her to the apartment he shares with Bon.

Robert Downey Jr's New 88% RT Hit Makes Me Glad He Turned Down This Show HBO Canceled After 2 Seasons

4 the general & his family move into a new home in los angeles, the general’s suspicions of there being a spy continue to grow.

The General and his family arrive in Los Anegels from Arkansas, where they move into a modest home, although The General's wife does not seem very thrilled about it. During his first days in Los Angeles, The General essentially hides out at the house and doesn't do much besides indulge himself in cigarettes and alcohol and his suspicions of a mole in among them grow stronger. The Captain takes note of The General's increasing sense of paranoia and vows to discover who the mole is . The General takes out a gun and points it at the Captain's head in an attempt to intimidate The Captain to work harder to find the spy, oblivious to the fact that he is sitting right in front of him.

3 The General Opens Up A Liquor Store In Los Angeles

The captain meets an old college rival at the grand opening.

Eager for a way to establish his newfound residency in Los Angeles, The General opens a liquor store which offers a picturesque view of the famous Hollywood sign in the background. Bon is enlisted to help The General operate the liquor store once it is opened, which provides some sense of responsibility and purpose for Bon in his new life in California. At the grand opening of the liquor store, the General makes a speech announcing that there is a spy among them and that it has become their top priority to discover who it is and have them killed. The Captain has no choice but to join in the chanting for what is secretly his own death.

Before the opening of the liquor store, someone sprayed graffiti on the side of it calling The General a butcher, which The General uses as more evidence that there is a spy among them, since what American would have that type of knowledge about his reputation in Vietnam? The Captain also encounters an old classmate and apparent academic rival from college at the grand opening of the liquor store named Tran Thuyet Son, who goes by Sonny. Sonny provides a glimpse of The Captain as an American student before he became a mole for the Veit Cong and could become a bigger character in later episodes of The Sympathizer .

2 The Captain Tells Claude & The General That Oanh Is The Spy

He makes up a theory that oanh has connections in saigon through candy.

After The General announces that he will be cracking down on discovering who the spy is among them, The Captain makes up the lie that it is Major Oanh, one of the "presumably capable but incapable" officials he had handpicked to board the plane out of Vietnam to the United States. Oanh has been giving out Vietnamese candies to people in the United States , which The Captain is able to spin as evidence that Oanh has secret connections to Vietnam that he is not being fully transparent about. The General, who is eager to kill the mole, starts to support The Captain's theory alongside Claude, who helps out with the investigation.

1 The Captain Asks Bon To Help Him Kill Major Oanh

The captain thinks about asking for permission from man, but doesn’t.

Realizing the severity of the predicament he is in, The Captain thinks about asking Man for authorization to kill Major Oanh before deciding to take matters into his own hands. The Captain had initially intended to send a coded message to Man asking for permission to kill Oanh, but later burned that evidence and asked Bon to help him take out Oanh himself. Bon agrees, and the episode ends with this new lead. While it's possible that Oanh is actually another sympathizer like the Captain, it's much more likely that the Captain is setting Major Oanh up to take the blame for his deceitful role in The Sympathizer .

When The Sympathizer's Finale Releases & How Many Episodes There Are

The sympathizer.

Based on the novel by Viet Thanh Nuyen, The Sympathizer explores the last days of the Vietnam War through the eyes of a half-Vietnamese, half-French spy serving for the communist regime. The TV series adaptation is set-up as a mini-series and will likely still be framed as a confession from the protagonist as they make their way through the war. Photo is of the original novel cover.

Letter | Sweeping tow order with not enough…

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Opinion Letters to the Editor

Letter | sweeping tow order with not enough parking.

Typical Santa Cruz … create another problem from one you cause. Clear streets on certain days/hours for sweeping or tow!

No one wants gutters cleaned more than myself; however, when you allowed ADUs with no parking, a senior apartment building with not enough parking, a resident that won’t allow the three cars a tenant brings to park in huge driveway …

Already our area of Upper Seabright is overrun with parked cars that are breaking the new law (no parking within 20 feet of corner) so pedestrians can safely cross streets. Just where do you expect all these cars to move to with all sides street about 90% taken?

The city helped cause this problem and your solution is to tow cars … can you imagine an elderly person with a walker having to walk blocks and blocks to get back home?

Put your thinking hats back on and stop allowing ADUs and apartments without adequate parking.

— Karen Prouty, Santa Cruz

The Sentinel welcomes your letters to the editor. Letters should be short, no more than 175 words. We do not accept anonymous letters. Letter-writers should include their full name as well as a street address and telephone number. We don’t publish those details in the newspaper, but need the information for verification purposes. Occasionally, we reject letters simply because we’ve had so many on the same subject. Submit your letters online at www.santacruzsentinel.com/submit-letters.

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AT&T Data Breach: What AT&T Is Doing for the 73 Million Accounts Breached

A T&T is now notifying 73 million current and former customers who had their personal information stolen. The company has let affected people know they can sign up for one free year of credit monitoring and identity theft detection through Experian's IdentityWorks.

The AT&T account breach appears to be from 2019 or earlier, the company said in a statement , and includes Social Security numbers and account information for approximately 65.4 million former customers and 7.6 million current account holders.

The data leak first came to light in 2021, when  hackers claimed they'd stolen customer data from AT&T  and would put the information up for sale. Fast-forward to March 2024, the stolen personal information was discovered on the dark web, according to Troy Hunt , creator of Have I Been Pwned . 

In response, AT&T said it has contacted the 7.6 million current customers and has reset their passcodes. Whether you're in the smaller set of current customers or the larger group of former account holders who think their data has been stolen in the breach, you can take steps to potentially lessen the damage of the breach. Read on for what you can do. AT&T didn't immediately respond to CNET's request for comment. 

For more, here are our picks for the best identity theft protection and monitoring services  and how Consumer Report's permission slip can help you take control of your online data . 

What to know about the AT&T data leak

AT&T on March 30 said that the personal information of 73 million current and former customers was leaked in mid-March to the dark web. The company said the stolen information appears to be from 2019 or earlier, and it does not know if the information came from AT&T or one of its vendors. 

What personal information was stolen in the AT&T breach?

According to AT&T , which customer and account data was stolen may vary by account, but thieves had access to customers' full name, email address, mailing address, phone number, Social Security number, date of birth, AT&T account number and passcode. AT&T said the information doesn't appear to contain personal financial information or call history. 

What is AT&T doing for the 73 million customers whose data was stolen?

In addition to resetting passcodes, AT&T said it is providing the 73 million current and former customers whose accounts were breached identity-theft and credit-monitoring services through  Experian's IdentityWorks for one year for free.

AT&T said customers need to sign up for identity theft protection service by Aug. 30, 2024.

What is an AT&T passcode?

A customer's passcode is essentially a numerical PIN and is usually four digits. A passcode is different from a password and is required to complete an AT&T installation, perform personal account functions by phone or contact technical support by phone, AT&T said.

How to reset your AT&T passcode

AT&T said it has already reset the passcodes for those active accounts where data was stolen but recommends if you haven't changed your passcode in the past year, you should change yours as a precaution. Here's how to change your AT&T passcode.

• Head to your  myAT&T Profile . Sign in, if asked. (If you have extra security enabled and can't sign in, AT&T says to choose  Get a new passcode )
• Scroll to  My linked accounts
• Select  Edit  for the passcode you want to update
• Follow the prompts to finish up

Where can you check if you are part of the AT&T breach

AT&T said it will email or mail a letter to the 7.6 million current customers whose data was stolen, explaining the incident, what information was compromised and what it is doing in response. The company said it has reset passcodes for affected current customers. The company said it is also communicating with the 65.4 million former account holders whose data was stolen.

You don't have to wait for AT&T to contact you. Using Have I Been Pwned , you can check whether your data has been leaked. If you store your password information in a Google account, the company's  Password Checkup tool can alert you if your account information has been exposed. The premium version of our favorite password manager , Bitwarden, can check for stolen passwords on the web. 

Changing your passcode and password, if AT&T hasn't contacted you, can help secure your account.

How to monitor your credit report for fraud

If you think your personal information was part of the AT&T breach, you can watch your credit reports for signs of potential fraud. 

Monitor your credit reports. You get one free credit report a year from the three major credit bureaus: Equifax , Experian and TransUnion . On your report, look for unusual or unfamiliar activity, such as the appearance of new accounts you didn't open. Watch your credit card accounts and bank statements for unexpected charges and payments.

Sign up for a credit monitoring service. Pick a credit monitoring service that constantly monitors your credit report on major credit bureaus and alerts you when it detects unusual activity. To help with the monitoring, you can set fraud alerts that notify you if someone is trying to use your identity to create credit. A credit-reporting service like LifeLock can start at $7.50 a month -- or you could use a free service like the one from Credit Karma . 

What to do if you suspect you're a victim of fraud or identity theft

As soon as you suspect your personal information has been stolen, take action to stop unauthorized charges and start to recover your identity.

Place a fraud alert. If you suspect fraud, place a fraud alert with each of the credit reporting companies: Equifax , Experian and TransUnion . The alert notifies creditors that you have been a victim of fraud and lets them know to verify new credit requests in your name. You can place an initial fraud alert, which stays on your credit report for 90 days, or an extended fraud alert, which stays on your credit report for seven years. Placing a fraud alert won't affect your credit score. 

Contact fraud departments. For each business and credit card company where you think an account was opened or charged without your knowledge, contact its fraud department. While you're not responsible for fraudulent charges to an account, you need to report the suspicious activity promptly.

Freeze your credit. If you want to stop anyone from opening credit and requesting loans and services in your name without your permission, you can freeze your credit. You will need to request a freeze with each of the three credit reporting companies, which again are  Equifax , Experian and TransUnion . To apply for new credit, you need to unfreeze your credit through each of the credit reporting companies. You can either request a temporary lift of the freeze or unfreeze it permanently.

Create a recovery plan.  The Federal Trade Commission has a valuable tool that helps you  report identity theft and recover your identity  through a personal recovery plan and  Identity Theft Report , which you can use to dispute charges.

Document everything. Keep copies of all documents and expenses and records of your conversations about the theft.

For more, here are our favorite password managers and the best VPN services .