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Successful Personal Statement For English At Cambridge

Last Updated: 5th April 2022

Author: Rob Needleman

Table of Contents

Welcome to our popular Personal Statement series where we present a successful Personal Statement, and our Oxbridge Tutors provide their feedback on it. 

Today, we are looking through an English applicant’s Personal Statement that helped secure a place at Cambridge University. The English Course at Cambridge balances a strong grounding in literary works. Let’s see how the candidate addresses this in their Personal Statement. 

Here’s a breakdown of the Personal Statement (the applicant came very close to the 4,000 character limit):

SUCCESSFUL?

The universities this candidate applied to were the following:

Enrolling on our Oxbridge English comprehensive Programme will give you access to Personal Statement redrafts. 

Your tutor will give you actionable feedback with insider tips on how to improve and make your Personal Statement Oxbridge quality for the best chances of success.  

English Personal Statement

Growing up in a house where books have replaced wallpaper, acquiring a love of literature was inevitable. I love the way in which writers explore, question, and critique aspects of human nature through the presentation of their worlds and characters. My favourite pieces of writing are ones such as Levi’s ‘Order on the Cheap’, Gogol’s ‘The Overcoat’ or Hartley’s ‘The Go Between’, where a particular human tendency is both beautifully presented and meticulously analysed. In his short story, Levi explores curiosity by invoking that of his audience: readers become distracted by the narrator’s descriptions of his experiments and overlook their morally problematic side. Hartley employs an opposite technique, allowing the reader to be often sharply aware of the innocence and naivety of the protagonist. Gogol manipulates the reader even more, invoking a painful sense of pathos around the main character whilst at the same time daring us to find Akaky’s concerns a little ridiculous.

I have to admit, however, that I am drawn to Levi’s short story not only because of its literary merits, but also because I sympathise with its main character: a man driven by his fascination with the process of creation. My favourite parts of my Chemistry A level were the ‘practicals’; I derived great excitement from the process of taking a simple substance, subjecting it to particular conditions, and thereby creating a completely different, and often much more complex, chemical. In ‘The Monkey’s Wrench’ Levi seems to emulate the same process in his development of the character of Tino. Starting from a simple first picture Tino is slowly developed, snippet by snippet, as the stories progress, until a fully evolved character finally emerges.

I find it fascinating how unexpected links can suddenly emerge between works: reading around a set text, Murakami’s ‘Blind Willow Sleeping Woman’, I read his ‘Kafka on the Shore’, which led me to read some of Kafka’s short stories, including ‘The Penal Colony’ and ‘A Country Doctor’. Whilst the works of the two writers are in many ways extremely different, I noticed some stylistic similarities. Both present protagonists whose apparently unexceptional lives are suddenly interrupted by a series of unexplained fantastical events. These events are often a metaphor for a wider-reaching process in the life of the narrator.

But without a doubt, poetry has always been my favourite form of literature: I like listening to poems or reading them aloud, appreciating their rhythm and sound, before going back and analysing them. Some of my favourite poems are those in which the sound is almost as important as the words themselves, for example, Lawrence’s ‘Ship of Death’ or Frost’s ‘After Apple Picking’. In this vein, I have a YouTube channel on which I post my readings of various poems, and have also earned at least several pence through poetry busking in the streets of Waterloo.

Eagleton’s ‘Literary Theory: an Introduction’ gave me another way in which to approach texts. As well as my visceral response and the various meanings extracted through analysis, the texts might exemplify the literary or political beliefs of a particular period. Further, members of different literary movements might approach them in very different ways – I enjoyed trying to put on the ‘mask’ of one movement or another and read a poem through it. Similarly, whilst studying ‘Othello’ I was interested by the hugely varying approaches of different critics, from Bradley who focused chiefly on character but seemed to forget the literary context, to Empson who concentrated almost solely on the changing meaning of the word ‘honest’ throughout time. Perhaps most significantly, Eagleton and the other critics reinforced the idea that engaging with a text is itself a creative process.

However, Eagleton’s book is just ‘an Introduction’: what draws me most to the study of English literature is not only that I love it, but that I want so much to learn more about it.

For more inspiration, take a look through our other successful Personal Statement a nalysis articles:

Successful Personal Statement For Natural Science (Physical) At Cambridge

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Good Points Of The Personal Statement

The candidate clearly demonstrates a keen and actioned interest in their chosen subject through the presentation of their reading and subsequent thoughts. They can articulate their present interests in their subject, as well as the sources of these interests, and their potential directions for further development. They indicate their ability to think laterally and creatively through their cohesive discussions of seemingly disparate texts, and are self-aware of their strengths and weaknesses as a reader. Their statement is fuelled by their evident personal enthusiasm for their subject, which makes it an engaging and urgent read.

Bad Points Of The Personal Statement

The candidate has acquired a relatively personal tone, which veers into the casual or confessional at times; their point might have been made more clearly or precisely had they adopted more strictly academic modes of communicating. Their consideration of various works is quite itemised, insofar as their statement reads like a series of ‘nuggets’ of information, rather than a clearly-focused piece with argument and direction. The candidate does reference another subject they study for A-Level, but beyond that, they have not included much information beyond their academic reading and interests. While this could certainly be justified as an approach, it does leave the statement suggesting that the writer is not particularly engaged in questions or activities beyond specific areas of literature.

UniAdmissions Overall Score:

The statement is at times quite chaotic in style, due to its familiar tone and slightly haphazard structure. However, it more than compensates for this since its familiarity is clearly a result of the candidate’s sheer enthusiasm for the subject. In addition, the range of material that they consider is very impressive — it includes both primary texts (of various forms) and secondary reading. The candidate has, moreover, articulated their own ideas on these works, and even if their exact communication of these are not particularly precise, the level of thought and consideration is still strong.

This Personal Statement for English is a great example of enthusiasm and passion. The candidate’s interest is clearly shown which is vital to Admissions Tutors.

Remember, at Cambridge, these Admissions Tutors are often the people who will be teaching you for the next few years so you need to appeal directly to them.

Go to our Free Personal Statement Resources page for even more successful personal statements and expert guides.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Writing a personal statement

Here is our advice on how best to show us what you have to offer and give us a sense of who you are as an individual. 

What are we looking for?

We are looking for excellent writing and a statement that is personal and unique to you. We want to understand:

• Your passion for your subject
• How you are a good fit for your chosen programme
• What you will bring to the university community

Before you start

Read the programme description and the modules offered.

Think about what skills, qualities, and experiences might be needed for a programme like this. 

Think about examples from your life that demonstrate these skills, qualities and experiences.

• Academic studies
• Extra-curricular activities
• Personal interests
• Achievements
• Exhibitions visited
• Competitions
• Work experience
• Taster days 
• Field trips
• Volunteering experience
• Were you inspired by the experience? What was inspiring about it?
• Did it make you want to learn more about something? 
• What did you learn through this experience about the subject? 
• Did you learn anything about yourself through this experience?
• Did you gain transferable skills through this experience? For example, teamwork, communication, or leadership skills? 

Your main focus should be on demonstrating your interest in, and describing your engagement with, the subject itself. The majority of your statement, around 75-85%, should focus on this subject, with the remaining 15-25% on extra-curricular activities or career aspirations. 

First draft

From all of your examples, and bearing in mind the structure, choose a few that are most relevant, and write about them in a detailed, specific, and reflective way. Relate these back to the skills, qualities, and experiences that you have identified are relevant to your chosen programme. 

Don’t forget: 

• Allow your passion for the subject to shine
• Show why are a good fit for your chosen programme
• Show what you will bring to our UCL community

Before you submit

Ask a teacher, advisor, friend or family member to read your statement and support you to think of other examples that you might have missed. Ask them to do a final spelling and grammar check.

Read your statement aloud to check that it flows well.

Make sure it is truthful and honest; some courses have an interview element so the admissions selector may ask you to expand further on something you wrote in your statement. 

Make sure it is applicable to all five of your UCAS choices; remember you can only submit one personal statement with your UCAS form.

Proofread for a final time. 

Our top tips

• 75%-85% of the statement must be about the subject
• Select only your best examples
• Reflect on your experiences
• Stay focused and relevant
• Let your passion for your subject shine
• Avoid clichés and bland, vague statements
• Proofread before submitting

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How to write a personal statement

How to approach writing your personal statement for graduate applications.

If you’re applying for a grad course that requires a personal statement (sometimes also called a ‘statement of purpose’), it can be difficult to know where to start and what to include. Read on for tips from some of our masters’ students about their process and what they found helpful.

1. Before you start

The academic work is the most important reason why we’re here, but that also translates into work experiences, internships, volunteering. I think a big part of the personal statement is crafting that narrative of academic self that fits alongside your professional experiences, to give that greater picture of who you are as an academic. Lauren (MSc Modern Middle Eastern Studies)

Start by thinking about the skills, knowledge and interests you’ve acquired over time and how the course at Oxford will take them forward.

Your statement is the story you want to tell about yourself and your academic work to the department you are applying to.

Most of your application and its supporting documents communicate plain facts about your academic career so far. Your personal statement is your best opportunity to put these facts into context and show assessors how you’ve progressed and excelled.

Make sure you highlight evidence of your achievements (a high grade in a relevant area, an award or scholarship, a research internship).

Presenting yourself

When I was writing my personal statement, I went onto my course website. I looked at what they emphasised and what kind of students they were looking for, and I wrote about my experiences based on that. Kayla (MSc in Clinical Embryology)

Make it easy for an assessor to see how you meet the entry requirements for the course (you can find these on each course page ).

Don’t make any assumptions about what Oxford is looking for!

Get to know your department

You want to study this particular subject and you want to study at Oxford (you’re applying here, so we know that!) but why is Oxford the right place for you to study this subject? What interests or qualities of the academic department and its staff make it attractive to you?

Use your academic department’s website for an overview of their research, academic staff and course information (you'll find a link to the department's own website on each course page ).

I said, ‘why do I actually want to be here? What is it about being at Oxford that’s going to get me to what I want to do? Sarah (Bachelor of Civil Law)

Talk it out

Talking to others about your statement can be a great way to gather your ideas and decide how you’d like to approach it. Sarah even managed to get benefit out of this approach by herself:

“I spent a lot of time talking out loud. My written process was actually very vocal, so I did a lot of talking about myself in my room.”

2. The writing process

Know your format.

Make sure you’ve read all the guidance on the How to Apply section of your course page , so you know what’s needed in terms of the word count of the final statement, what it should cover and what it will be assessed for. This should help you to visualise roughly what you want to end up with at the end of the process.

Make a start

When it comes to writing your personal statement, just getting started can be the hardest part.

One good way to get around writer’s block is to just put it all down on the page, like Mayur.

First - write down anything and everything. In the first round, I was just dumping everything - whatever I’ve done, anything close to computer science, that was on my personal statement. Mayur (MSc Computer Science)

You’ll be editing later anyway so don’t let the blank page intimidate you - try writing a little under each of the following headings to get started:

• areas of the course at Oxford that are the most interesting to you
• which areas you’ve already studied or had some experience in
• what you hope to use your Oxford course experience for afterwards.

3. Finishing up

Get some feedback.

Once you’ve got a draft of about the right length, ask for feedback on what you’ve written. It might take several drafts to get it right.

This could involve getting in touch with some of your undergraduate professors to ask them to read your draft and find any areas which needed strengthening.

You could also show it to people who know you well, like family or friends.

Because they’re the first people to say, ‘Who is that person?’ You want the people around you to recognise that it really sounds like you. It can be scary telling family and friends you’re applying for Oxford, because it makes it real, but be brave enough to share it and get feedback on it. Sarah (Bachelor of Law)

Be yourself

Finally - be genuine and be yourself. Make sure your personal statement represents you, not your idea about what Oxford might be looking for.

We have thousands of students arriving every year from a huge range of subjects, backgrounds, institutions and countries (you can hear from a few more of them in our My Oxford interviews).

Get moving on your application today

To find out more about supporting documents and everything else you need to apply, read your course page and visit our Application Guide .

Applicant advice hub

This content was previously available through our  Applicant advice hub . The hub contained links to articles hosted on our  Graduate Study at Oxford Medium channel . We've moved the articles that support the application process into this new section of our website.

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• English Literature Personal Statement Examples

As an aspiring future English Literature student, writing a compelling personal statement is a crucial step in your UCAS application process . 

To help you in this process, we are presenting three exceptional English Literature personal statement examples from successful applicants who have graciously agreed to share their work with you. 

These English Literature personal statements are available to use for free as inspiration and guidance to help you craft your unique application. 

So, whether you are applying to undergraduate or postgraduate studies in English Literature, we hope that these personal statement examples will help you.

English Literature Personal Statement Example

As an avid reader and student of English Literature, I have developed a strong interest in exploring the depths of literary analysis and critical theory. My studies at A level have provided me with a firm foundation in independent research and critical thinking, which I believe are essential skills for success in the field of English Literature.

During my studies, I have delved into Shakespeare’s works, particularly “Romeo and Juliet” and “The Merchant of Venice”, using Leach Scragg’s “Discovering Shakespeare’s Meaning” to gain a more thorough understanding of the plays. Additionally, Anthony Holden’s biography of Shakespeare has helped me to appreciate the context and historical significance of his work. I have also recently begun exploring critical theory through “Literary Theory: An Anthology”, edited by Rivkin and Ryan, which has piqued my interest in further exploring the theoretical underpinnings of literature.

While my studies thus far have focused largely on modern literature, I have developed a newfound interest in the Victorian novel as a precursor to modernism. I have been particularly intrigued by the didactic, omniscient narrator and how Victorian authors grappled with issues of contemporary social change. Reading Dickens’s “Great Expectations” and Eliot’s “Middlemarch” has allowed me to explore these themes in greater depth. I am also fascinated by the expression of religious faith and doubt in Victorian post-romantic poetry, such as Arnold’s “Dover Beach” and Clough’s “The Latest Decalogue”.

In addition to my studies, I have broadened my knowledge of literature through art and French classes. In my art class, I am currently writing a critical and analytical study on the Stuckism movement, while last year I completed a project based on Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales”. My French studies have allowed me to explore foreign literature, including Pagnol’s “Jean de Florette” and “Manon des Sources”, and have given me the valuable skill of revising my thinking before speaking or writing.

My A level in Media Production and Communication has furthered my interest in linguistics, and reading Phillip Howard’s “The State of the Language” has opened my eyes to the richness and complexity of the English language. I have had the opportunity to write and edit for campus publications, and am excited about the possibility of being involved in future publications.

My love of theatre has allowed me to experience literature in a different medium. I have seen productions by the RSC and our local TOADs theatre company, and have even had a role in a university student play. Witnessing the power of live performance has inspired me to think more deeply about how literature can be brought to life.

My experiences as an English Literature student have fueled my passion for literary analysis, critical theory, and linguistic exploration. I look forward to continuing my studies and pursuing a career in the field of English Literature.

English Literature Personal Statement Example for UCAS

As a student of history and French, I have always been fascinated by the power of language and how it shapes our understanding of the world. My studies have given me a deep appreciation for the nuances of language and how different linguistic structures can convey complex ideas and emotions. This enthusiasm has led me to explore the English language and literature in greater depth, and to seek out opportunities to engage with the works of some of the most influential writers of the past century.

One of the most inspiring experiences I have had in this regard was my invitation to attend the Global Young Leaders Conference in Seattle. This event brought together young people from around the world to explore the challenges and opportunities facing our global community. Through a series of lectures, workshops, and interactive sessions, we were able to engage with a wide range of topics, from environmental sustainability and social justice to entrepreneurship and leadership. For me, the most memorable aspect of the conference was the opportunity to discuss the role of literature in shaping our understanding of these issues. Through these conversations, I came to appreciate the power of literature not only as a tool for self-expression and personal growth but also as a means of fostering empathy and understanding across cultures and communities.

Two writers who have had a particularly profound impact on my thinking in this regard are George Orwell and Mark Twain. Orwell’s life and work, in particular, have greatly interested me. His experiences in the Spanish Civil War and his reflections on the nature of power and authority in modern society have helped to shape my own political and social beliefs. Likewise, Twain’s irreverent wit and his keen observations of human behaviour have challenged me to think critically about the world around me. Through these writers, I have come to appreciate how literature can help us to navigate the complexities of our own lives and the world at large.

My academic background also reflects my passion for English literature. I have A-levels in English literature, history, and biology, which have given me a broad range of skills and knowledge that I believe will be useful in pursuing further studies in this field. In particular, my studies in biology have given me an appreciation for how scientific thinking can inform our understanding of literature, from how we interpret and analyze language to the psychological and neurological processes that underpin our reading experiences.

As I look to the future, I am excited by the prospect of further exploring the intersections between language, literature, and society. I believe that studying English literature will not only deepen my understanding of the world around me but also equip me with the skills and insights needed to make meaningful contributions to my community and beyond. I am eager to engage with the works of writers both past and present, to explore how language and literature can help us to grapple with the most pressing issues of our time, and to contribute to the ongoing conversation about the role of the humanities in shaping our collective future.

Personal Statement For English Literature

I always had a passion for literature, and pursuing an English Literature degree seemed like a natural choice for me. From a young age, I have been fascinated by the way words can be woven together to create complex narratives and powerful emotions. Through my studies in A-level English Literature and Media, I have developed my analytical thinking and gained a deeper understanding of classic works of literature as well as diverse media forums.

One of the things that set me apart from other students is my ability to communicate effectively through my writing skills. I have always been drawn to the written word and have a talent for expressing my thoughts and ideas clearly and concisely. Whether it’s through essays, creative writing, or journalism, I am confident in my ability to use language to convey my message.

Throughout my academic journey, I have also been involved in various extra-curricular activities. One of my proudest achievements was organizing an entire show for 19th Century History Month, which required me to draw on my creativity and organizational skills. This experience taught me the value of teamwork, communication, and dedication, which are all essential skills that I will carry with me throughout my future endeavours.

In addition to my extra-curricular activities, I was also selected as head girl in my primary school, where I was responsible for maintaining discipline and providing leadership to my peers. This experience allowed me to develop my interpersonal skills and learn the importance of empathy and understanding when working with others.

I had the opportunity to intern with a secondary school newspaper for two years, where I honed my journalism skills and gained valuable experience in the field. I learned the importance of accurate research, effective communication, and engaging storytelling, which are all essential skills that will serve me well in my future career.

My passion for English Literature, combined with my skills in communication, organization, and leadership, make me a strong candidate for a degree in English Literature. I am excited about the opportunity to continue my academic journey and explore the endless possibilities that the world of literature has to offer.

Recommended for further reading:

• How to Write a Personal Statement for a Master’s
• How to Write a Personal Statement for a PhD
• UCAS Personal Statement: A Writing Guide And Tips For Success
• Tips for Writing a Personal Statement for the University
• How to Write a Personal Statement That Stands Out
• UCAS Application: Process and Deadlines Explained in Details
• Personal Statement Examples UK

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15 Powerful Personal Brand Statement Examples to Elevate Your Career in 2024

• May 13, 2024
• by steven-austin

In an increasingly digital world, your personal brand has never been more important. It‘s the first impression people have of you professionally – whether they discover you on LinkedIn, through a Google search, or on your personal website.

And that first impression can open doors or close them. According to CareerBuilder, 70% of employers use social media to screen candidates during the hiring process, and 43% use social media to check on current employees.

What‘s more, 85% of U.S. recruiters and HR professionals say that an employee‘s online reputation influences their hiring decisions at least to some extent. Nearly half say that a strong online reputation influences their decisions to a great extent.

Bottom line? If you‘re not carefully crafting and curating how you show up online, you‘re putting your career at risk. In fact, 56% of employers won‘t even consider a candidate without an online presence.

But a compelling personal brand doesn‘t just insulate you from negative judgments. When done well, it can be an incredible asset – one that lands you that dream job, attracts high-caliber clients, or positions you for that next promotion.

Case in point: 57% of the U.S population now have a LinkedIn profile. Why? Because professionals and entrepreneurs alike know that a strong online presence can translate into major offline opportunities.

At the core of your personal brand is your brand statement – a crisp, compelling declaration of who you are, what you do, and why it matters. It‘s the throughline that ties all the pieces of your online presence together.

So what makes a personal brand statement stand out and stick in people‘s minds? The best ones do a few key things:

They express your unique value proposition. What special sauce do you bring to the table? What are the specific skills, experiences, or perspectives that set you apart?

They‘re authentic to who you are. If your brand statement feels generic or forced, people will see right through it. But when it captures your genuine personality and voice, it resonates.

They speak directly to your target audience. Who are you trying to appeal to and engage with your personal brand? Keeping that audience in mind will help you strike the right tone and highlight the right things.

They‘re memorable and specific. Broad, overused terms like "strategic thinker" or "experienced leader" won‘t make you stand out. But concrete, vivid language will lodge your brand in people‘s minds.

To help inspire you as you craft or refine your own brand statement, we‘ve rounded up 15 powerful examples from a variety of different fields and roles.

1. "Deconstructing complex topics to drive meaningful dialogue." – Nia Hope, Podcast Host

2. "i empower women in stem to communicate with confidence." – dr. andrea hernandez, speech coach, 3. "helping purpose-driven organizations scale their impact sustainably." – jonah malin, nonprofit consultant, 4. "i bring data to life to drive smarter decisions." – tanya sharma, data visualization specialist, 5. "building products that make people‘s lives easier." – lena tran, product manager, 6. "exploring the human side of tech." – simone bresi-ando, tech ethicist & founder, 7. "i help underrepresented entrepreneurs access funding and mentorship." – marcus johnson, startup advisor, 8. "crafting immersive digital experiences that push creative boundaries." – amaya henry, vr designer, 9. "helping families feel at home in a new city." – julia moran, relocation specialist, 10. "i turn complex legal concepts into plain english." – leah nichols, legal content writer, 11. "empowering retirees to fearlessly enjoy their next chapter." – sam diallo, retirement coach, 12. "capturing the heart and soul behind every brand." – diego chacon, brand photographer, 13. "i help the helpers avoid burnout." – hannah nguyen, therapist for nonprofit leaders, 14. "empowering young people to become global citizens." – kaila caldwell, education abroad advisor, 15. "helping biotech startups bring their innovations to market." – asha gupta, biotech business strategist.

Let‘s dive deeper into a few of these to unpack why they work so well:

Nia Hope‘s brand statement packs a punch by juxtaposing two concepts: deconstructing the complex and driving meaningful dialogue. It shows that she‘s not afraid to tackle thorny, nuanced topics but does so in service of a greater goal: sparking thoughtful conversations. You immediately get a sense of her communication style and the impact she aims to have.

Dr. Andrea Hernandez‘s statement works because of its specificity. Rather than saying she helps "people" with public speaking, she zeros in on a particular audience – women in STEM fields. This kind of niche specificity is powerful. It shows that she deeply understands the unique challenges and strengths of this group and can speak directly to their needs.

Jonah Malin‘s brand statement also features a tightly defined audience – purpose-driven organizations. The words "scale" and "sustainably" give us a picture of the kinds of outcomes he helps create. He‘s not just helping nonprofits grow but helping them do so in a way that‘s manageable and enduring over time. That‘s the kind of specialized insight his clients are looking for.

A few things to note across all these examples:

They‘re concise. You can read any of these statements in a matter of seconds, but they still convey a lot about who each person is and what they bring to the table.

They use fresh, vivid language. You‘ll notice very little jargon or filler words. Every word is carefully chosen for maximum impact and memorability.

They center on outcomes and audience. These statements focus not just on what the person does but on why it matters and who it helps. That outward focus is key.

So how can you craft a similarly powerful brand statement for yourself? Here‘s a simple framework to get you started:

For example: I use [skills in data analysis] to help [Fortune 500 companies] [uncover cost-saving opportunities and increase efficiency] .

Of course, this is just a starting point. Keep massaging the language until it feels authentic to you. Say it out loud. Get feedback from people who know you well. Word-smith until you land on a statement that makes you feel proud and energized.

And remember, your personal brand statement isn‘t meant to be static. As you gain new skills and experiences, don‘t be afraid to evolve your messaging over time. The goal is for your brand to be an accurate and compelling reflection of where you are now and where you‘re headed.

But this is just the first step. To truly harness the power of personal branding, you need to weave that brand statement through all your touchpoints and interactions.

That means integrating it into your:

• Social media profiles and posts
• Personal website or online portfolio
• Professional bio for conference programs, publications, etc.
• Elevator pitch for networking events
• Thought leadership content like blog posts or videos

Consider these eye-popping statistics: Influencer campaigns can generate up to 11x higher ROI than traditional advertising. Why? Because when you express a strong point of view and build a loyal following around your ideas, you become incredibly valuable to employers and clients.

So don‘t just define your brand – put it out into the world consistently and strategically. That‘s how you‘ll unlock the full power of personal branding.

Now, you might be thinking: How can I possibly stand out in such a noisy digital landscape? It‘s true – cutting through the clutter online is harder than ever. But that‘s precisely why an authentic, memorable personal brand is so vital.

When you lead with genuine substance, when you have the courage to share your unique perspective and voice, you‘ll naturally attract the right people and opportunities. No gimmicks or stunts needed – just the real you.

So take the time to reflect on your unique strengths and body of work. Distill the essence of what makes you YOU into a clear, cohesive brand statement. And then go forth and share that brand boldly and consistently, both online and off.

With a powerful personal brand as your calling card, there‘s no telling what doors will open for you in the months and years to come. You‘ve got this!

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English Literature Personal Statements

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Further study of the English language would fuel my interest and genu...

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Assessing DxGPT: Diagnosing Rare Diseases with Various Large Language Models

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Diagnosing rare diseases is a significant challenge in healthcare, with patients often experiencing long delays and misdiagnoses. The large number of rare diseases and the difficulty for doctors to be familiar with all of them contribute to this problem. Artificial intelligence, particularly large language models (LLMs), has shown promise in improving the diagnostic process by leveraging their extensive knowledge to help doctors navigate the complexities of diagnosing rare diseases.

Foundation 29 presents a comprehensive evaluation of DxGPT, a web-based platform designed to assist healthcare professionals in the diagnostic process for rare diseases. The platform currently utilizes GPT-4, but this study also compares its performance with other large language models, including Claude 3, Gemini 1.5 Pro, Llama, Mistral, Mixtral, and Cohere Command R+. It is crucial to emphasize that DxGPT is not a medical device but rather a decision support tool that aims to aid in clinical reasoning.

This study extends beyond initial synthetic patient cases, incorporating real-world data from the RAMEDIS and Peking Union Medical College Hospital (PUMCH) datasets. The analysis followed two main metrics: Strict Accuracy (P1), how often the first diagnostic suggestion agreed with the real diagnosis, and Top-5 Accuracy (P1 + P5), how often the right diagnosis was in the top five suggestions. The results show a complex picture of diagnostic accuracy, with performance varying significantly across models and datasets:

On the synthetic dataset, closed models like GPT-4, Claude, and Gemini exhibited relatively high accuracy. Open models like Llama 3 and Mixtral performed reasonably well, though lagging behind.

On the RAMEDIS rare disease cases, Claude 3 Opus model demonstrated 55% Strict Accuracy and 70% Top-5 Accuracy, outperforming other closed models. Open models like Llama 3 and Mixtral showed moderate accuracy.

The PUMCH dataset proved challenging for all models, with the highest Strict Accuracy at 59.46% (GPT-4 Turbo 1106) and Top-5 Accuracy at 64.86%.

These findings demonstrate the potential of DxGPT and LLMs in improving diagnostic methods for rare diseases. However, they also emphasize the need for further validation, particularly in real-world clinical settings, and comparison with human expert diagnoses. Successful integration of AI into medical diagnostics will require collaboration between researchers, clinicians, and regulatory bodies to ensure safety, efficacy, and ethical deployment.

Competing Interest Statement

The authors have declared no competing interest.

Funding Statement

Foundation 29 received a grant from Takeda to develop pilot #1 for Global Rare Disease Commission https://www.globalrarediseasecommission.com/Report/ . Pilot #1 is about exploring how to use artificial intelligence for RD diagnosis. Produced work is publically available at www.dx29.ai . Foundation 29 received a grant from GW Pharma to develop www.dx29.ai . This an open source tool and free of charge tool for physicians to accelerate time to diagnosis for patients with rare diseses. Produced work is publically available at www.dx29.ai . Foundation 29 received a grant from UCB Pharma to develop https://dxgpt.app/ . This an open source tool based on GPT-4 Azure OpenAI model and is free of charge tool for physicians and patients to accelerate time to diagnosis for patients with rare diseses. Produced work is publically available at https://dxgpt.app/ and https://github.com/foundation29org/dxgpt_testing . Foundation 29 received a grant from Italfarmaco to develop https://dxgpt.app/ . This an open source tool based on GPT-4 Azure OpenAI model and is free of charge tool for physicians and patients to accelerate time to diagnosis for patients with rare diseses. Produced work is publically available at https://dxgpt.app/ and https://github.com/foundation29org/dxgpt_testing . These grants are not related to any of these pharma's products. This study was funded by all these 4 grants as part of DxGPT development.

Author Declarations

I confirm all relevant ethical guidelines have been followed, and any necessary IRB and/or ethics committee approvals have been obtained.

The details of the IRB/oversight body that provided approval or exemption for the research described are given below:

https://huggingface.co/datasets/chenxz/RareBench

I confirm that all necessary patient/participant consent has been obtained and the appropriate institutional forms have been archived, and that any patient/participant/sample identifiers included were not known to anyone (e.g., hospital staff, patients or participants themselves) outside the research group so cannot be used to identify individuals.

I understand that all clinical trials and any other prospective interventional studies must be registered with an ICMJE-approved registry, such as ClinicalTrials.gov. I confirm that any such study reported in the manuscript has been registered and the trial registration ID is provided (note: if posting a prospective study registered retrospectively, please provide a statement in the trial ID field explaining why the study was not registered in advance).

I have followed all appropriate research reporting guidelines, such as any relevant EQUATOR Network research reporting checklist(s) and other pertinent material, if applicable.

juanjodoolmo{at}foundation29.org

Data Availability

All data produced are available online at: https://huggingface.co/datasets/chenxz/RareBench and https://github.com/foundation29org/dxgpt_testing

https://github.com/foundation29org/dxgpt_testing

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Language Personal Statement Examples

What is a languages personal statement?

Your languages personal statement is a way to sell yourself to the university admissions tutors, explaining why you want to study this subject and why you would make a great language student.

Therefore, it’s crucial you spend as much time as possible writing your languages personal statement.

This means starting early (usually the summer holidays, in July or August), and reading through lots of languages personal statement examples for inspiration (please see above).

How do I write a languages personal statement?

As a future university languages student, it's crucial to provide examples of everything you mention to back up your claims.

This includes any skills, experience, academic achievements and relevant hobbies/extracurricular activities that would be useful in a languages degree.

Most students start their languages personal statement with why they want to study this subject, and what makes them passionate about it.

Reading through our languages personal statement examples above will help you understand how students have successfully applied for this type of course in the past.

Try to start your statement with an attention-grabbing opening that will make tutors want to read to the end. Doing some brainstorming and getting some notes down will help you start putting together an initial draft.

What should I include in my languages personal statement?

• It's important your statement covers everything that is appropriate, such as achievements, work experience, personal traits/skills, hobbies and activities outside of school/college, and career plans.
• To make sure you do this, we recommend you brainstorm and write down as many notes as you can before you start writing. This way, you won't miss anything out.
• Skills you may want to focus on include communication, reading, writing and listening.
• Talk about what you hope to do with your languages degree in the future, e.g. do you want to become a journalist, marketer, or holiday rep? Students often tend to round off their statement with their career plans and ambitions once they have completed their studies.

For more help and advice on what to write in your languages personal statement, please see:

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• What To Do If You Miss The 15th January UCAS Deadline.

What can I do with a languages degree?

There are many different career options open to those wishing to study a languages degree. These include:

• Academic researcher
• Interpreter
• Political risk analyst
• Secondary school teacher
• Tourism officer
• Investment analyst
• Public relations officer

For more information about careers with a languages degree, please see Prospects , Targetjobs , and TopUniversities .

What are the best UK universities for languages?

Currently, the best universities in the UK for studying languages are:

For more information on UK university rankings for languages, please see The Guardian and What Uni .

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