conversation essay in english

Introduction to College Writing

Essays as conversation.

Think of an essay as participating in a conversation, in which you offer your ideas and provide details to explain those ideas to others. Writers do not make their claims in an enormous blank room where no one else is and nothing else has ever happened. Writers make their claims in the real world where people with other opinions, values, beliefs, and experiences live. To make a claim is to enter into a conversation with these people. The rhetorician Kenneth Burke once famously described this as a parlor or a party to which you have come late to find out that people are already in heated discussions about a topic. Everyone has been in these kinds of arguments.

For example, you arrive somewhere to meet two friends and discover that they are discussing where to go to dinner or what movie to see. Each friend presents his or her argument, setting out evidence for why this restaurant or movie is a good choice, and each friend pokes holes in the other person’s argument, pointing out why you would not enjoy that restaurant or movie. You are expected to take a role in this discussion. Maybe you take a stand with one friend over the other or maybe you try to reach a compromise and propose a third restaurant or movie that everyone could accept. This can lead to even further discussion.

This discussion between three friends is somewhat like Burke’s idea of the parlor but there are differences. Eventually the conversation between the three friends will reach an end: they will go to dinner or a movie, perhaps, or they will all go home. Everyone entered into the conversation, made his or her claims, responded to other people, and went on with his or her life. their lives. Burke, however, was talking about the conversations and arguments that take place in the larger culture and the world as a whole. Those are the larger conversations you’ll participate in as you deal with issues in psychology, business management, literature, history…whatever your specific academic focus is in whatever college course you are taking at the moment. Essay writing is one way of participating in that conversation.

Remember that college essay assignments often expect you to delve deeply into an issue, analyzing its various sides in order to come to your own conclusions, based on your observations, insights, and appropriate research.  As you develop your own conclusions, you’ll have interesting ideas to offer in conversation.

Although the following video references graduate-level students, the same concepts hold true for undergraduate college writing, in which you’ll start learning how to join a conversation.

• Essays as Conversation. Revision and adaptation of the page Writing Commons: Michael Charlton's Understanding How Conversations Change Over Time at https://learn.saylor.org/mod/page/view.php?id=6695. Authored by : Susan Oaks. Provided by : Empire State College, SUNY OER Services. Project : College Writing. License : CC BY-NC: Attribution-NonCommercial
• Writing Commons: Michael Charlton's Understanding How Conversations Change Over Time. Authored by : Michael Charlton. Provided by : Saylor Academy. Located at : https://learn.saylor.org/mod/page/view.php?id=6695 . Project : ENGL001: English Composition I. License : Other . License Terms : Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license
• image of three friends in conversation. Authored by : rawpixel. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : https://pixabay.com/en/adult-group-meeting-man-table-3365364/ . License : CC0: No Rights Reserved
• video An introduction to academic writing and research. Provided by : University of Roehampton. Located at : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kItASt4DjXA . License : Other . License Terms : Standard YouTube License

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Enchanting Marketing

Writing advice for small business

How to Write Conversationally: An (Almost) COMPLETE Guide with 18 Examples

by Henneke | 221 enchanting opinions, add yours? :)

She’s reading her draft post.

And she doesn’t like the tone of her writing at all.

Why is it so hard to engage her readers?

Helena is an expert in climate change, and she’d like to write in a conversational tone …

As if she’s explaining climate change to a friend while sipping an ice tea at the town plaza. The pigeons are strutting around her, bobbing their heads and pecking at the crumbs on the pavement.

But, somehow, her writing always sounds too academic, too formal, too difficult, too stuffy, too boring.

What can she do?

How to write conversationally

Some say …

Just write like you talk.

But it doesn’t always work like that.

Yes, when you write a quick email or social media update, it’s possible to jot down your thoughts as if you’re actually chatting on the phone.

But when writing long-form content or when you’re still figuring out your ideas, writing in a conversational tone is more challenging. A draft often sounds writerly, and you have to massage it until it becomes more informal.

As Elmore Leonard suggested:

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

Want to know how?

How to edit a writerly text

To turn a formal text into a friendly conversation, follow 3 steps:

Take out the writerliness

See techniques 1 – 4 below >>

Turn your writing into a conversation

See techniques 5 – 8 below >>

Add an air of casualness (optional)

See techniques 9 – 14 below >>

Shall I show you?

I. Take out the writerliness

The basis of conversational writing is a simple text so readers can follow your ideas with ease:

• Eliminate complicated sentences >>
• Avoid the passive voice >>
• Replace writerly words >>
• Use transitional words often >>

Here are some examples …

1. Eliminate complicated sentences

Complicated sentences are a sure sign of writerliness.

So, keep your sentences simple and mostly short. The occasional long sentence is fine—as long as each sentence is easy to read.

For instance, Elizabeth Strout uses a conversational tone in her book Lucy by the Sea , and she doesn’t shy away from a long sentence:

He was seventy-one years old then, but he, kind of, I think, must have been plunged into some sort of midlife crisis, or older man crisis, with the loss of his much younger wife moving out and taking their ten-year-old daughter, and then his half-sister’s not wanting to see him and his finding out that his mother had not been who he’d thought she had been.

When I read Strout’s sentence, it’s almost like I can hear her talk. Can you, too?

The sentence above is easy to read because it starts with its core ( he was seventy-one years old ) and then expands. Moreover, filler phrases ( kind of, I think ) add a casual tone.

So, the key to conversational writing is not to keep all your sentences short but to keep your sentences simple. Communicate your ideas tiny step by tiny step.

2. Avoid the passive voice

Pay attention to everyday conversations, and you’ll note that most sentences use the active voice:

I went to the shops to get the groceries. I cooked a colorful stirfry with lots of veggies and prawns. We had dinner together.

The passive voice feels more writerly, less natural:

The groceries were purchased by Henneke. A colorful stirfry was prepared, and dinner was eaten.

I wouldn’t say that. Would you?

So, if you want to sound less writerly, try to avoid the passive voice.

3. Replace writerly words

Only use jargon if you’re writing for an expert audience who use that jargon themselves, too.

Otherwise, please …

Skip the posh words and gobbledygook.

Use everyday words instead.

For instance, jeans manufacturer Hiut Denim describes what they do in short sentences, using simple words:

We make jeans. That’s it. Nothing else. No distractions. Nothing to steal our focus. No kidding ourselves that we can be good at everything. No trying to conquer the whole world. We will just do our best to conquer our bit of it. So each day we will come in and make the best jeans we know how.

Note the everyday expressions above: That’s it; no kidding ourselves; we will just do our best; our bit of it.

Not sure which words to use?

Think of a face-to-face conversation with one of your favorite readers. What words would you use then?

4. Use transitional words often

Soooo …

When we talk, we use transition words to string our thoughts together.

Those transition words tend to be simple: When, if, and, but, or, because, so .

However, when we try to impress with our writing, we use more writerly transitions such as: Therefore, in contrast, additionally, furthermore, nonetheless, thus, subsequently, in conclusion.

Copywriter Gary Halbert is known for his conversational style, and the casual phrase anyway is one of his favorite transition words. It makes his writing sound as if he’s chatting to you. This is from his book The Boron Letters :

So anyway, today I’m going to start by telling you about a little trick that will improve your copywriting.

Anyway, a couple paragraphs back I wrote: “and if you can find a way to use it, you can dramatically increase your sales volume.” Now, compare that to this: “and if you can find a way to use it, you can make yourself a bushel of money!” Isn’t that a lot more powerful? You bet! The words “dramatically increase your sales volume” do not even begin to conjure up the visual imagery of “a bushel of money.”

Transition words create flow and help readers follow your text from one sentence to the next.

Moreover, if you choose simple transition words and use them often, your text will sound more conversational.

II. Turn your writing into a conversation

The 4 techniques below are the essence of conversational writing:

• Remember who you’re writing for >>
• Address your reader with the word you >>
• Ask questions >>
• Add personal comments (optional) >>

Here’s how …

5. Remember who you’re writing for

Good writing is a conversation with your reader.

And to make your conversation meaningful, remind yourself who you’re writing for. Who are they? What do they want to know? What’s their reaction to your writing?

When they shake their head because they disagree, you can counter their objections. When they don’t understand a phrase, you can replace or explain it. When a question pops up in their mind, answer it.

It can be hard to write a first draft with your reader in mind. Just formulating your thoughts is challenging enough.

So, once you’ve written that draft, try distancing yourself a little from yourself as the writer. Try not to be too precious about your words, and read them through the eyes of your reader. How can you make your text clearer and more engaging?

The better you can imagine your reader’s reaction, the more engaging your conversation with them will be.

6. Address your reader

In a face-to-face situation, you talk a bit about yourself, right?

And you also address the person you’re talking to?

Well, it’s the same in conversational writing. You address your reader with the word you , and you talk a little about me .

For instance, Mark Manson’s blog reads like a conversation with his readers because he addresses readers directly. This is from a blog post about feelings :

Look, I know you think the fact you feel upset or angry or anxious is important. That it matters. Hell, you probably think that because you feel like your face just got shat on makes you important. But it doesn’t. Feelings are just these … things that happen.

If you want to have a conversation with your reader, don’t create a monologue. Use the words you and your more often than the words me , my , and I .

7. Ask questions

Questions are probably my favorite conversational writing technique . For instance, here’s how I open a blog post on editing a sentence :

Do you ever wonder how others edit their writing? Me, too. So, picture my delight when I came across a fabulous example of revision … By a bestselling author!

And I start the sales page for the Enchanting Copywriting course like this:

Do you ever find yourself staring at a blank sheet? Struggling to find the right words to sell without feeling sleazy? You’re not alone. Persuasive writing is probably one of the most precious skills anyone in business can possess. But at school, we’ve not learned the art of persuasion. We’ve not learned how to write compelling content. We’ve not learned how to sell without feeling pushy.

Want to engage your readers?

Ask questions. Ask them whether they’re struggling with the problem you’re helping them solve. Or ask them whether they’d like to achieve that aim you can help them with.

Of course, asking questions only works if you understand your reader and if you know what’s bothering them and what they’re dreaming off.

8. Add personal comments

I discovered this trick for conversational writing only recently …

Add a personal comment between parentheses.

This technique is not widely used but it works like a dream.

The following snippet is from the memoir It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too) by Nora McInerny Purmort:

This is for people who have been through some shit—or have watched someone go through it. This is for people who aren’t sure if they’re saying or doing the right thing (you’re not, but nobody is).

Above, McInerny Purmort first addresses her readers as a crowd ( This is for people who … ); it sounds less conversational.

But then she adds a comment between parentheses, addressing her reader directly ( you’re not, but nobody is ). That’s when it feels she’s talking with you.

As we’ve seen so far, to write conversationally, first edit your text so it’s simple and clear.

Next, turn your writing in a conversation with your reader: Know who you’re having a conversation with, address them with the word you , ask them questions, and if you like, add personal comments between parentheses.

Lastly, there’s one more optional step …

III. Add an air of casualness

Not all conversational writing needs a casual tone.

So, think about your readers. What’s the right tone for a conversation with them?

Then, try the following techniques:

(this is a safe technique that almost anyone can use)

(uhm … maybe not for everyone)

< waves hello >

(in mucho moderation)

(if you muuuuust)

Let me show you some examples …

9. Use contractions

Contractions merge two words together. It’s what we do when we speak all the time.

For example:

Using contractions is probably the most common and easiest technique for informal writing.

10. Try interjections

For more casualness, try interjections such as Phew. Duh. Whoah! Yay! Yikes. Ugh.

I occasionally use interjections in my writing:

What’s the most boring punctuation mark? I used to think that award should go to parentheses. They seem to smell like math exams in sweaty classrooms. Ugh.

Has it happened to you, too? In your mind, you’ve composed your next article. Perhaps while walking your dog or on your commute. You feel excited, because you know exactly what you want to write, and you think your readers will love it. Yay!

Even Apple uses interjections sometimes. For instance, when they write about the iPhone 14 :

Water resistance. (Phew.)

Interjections are shortcuts to expressing emotions.

Use them in moderation.

11. Use filler words

When we talk, we use filler phrases to give us time to think or to add emphasis.

Filler phrases include: I mean, you know, actually, so, yeah, well, sure enough, here’s the thing, why bother, hang on, like.

Here’s how Sara Gibbs ends her book Drama Queen: One Autistic Woman and a Life of Unhelpful Labels :

Right . . . Well, it’s getting late and I’ve got to get dinner on. Ah, crap, you’re never going to believe that. You know I’m not the one who cooks dinner. OK, uh . . . I think my cat is asking for me. No? I have to go; my husband’s on fire. God. Fine, you’ve got me. I have no idea how to end this book. I’m as good as getting out of conversations as I am at instigating them. I will leave you with these words – which I recently blurted out before hanging up on a confused GP’s receptionist: ’K, love you, bye!

As Tony Hoagland points out in his book The Art of Voice , filler words can be key to creating a voice that connects. They can create a sense of warmth, of companionship. A voice sounds more real.

But, of course, filler words make your writing less concise. And, as you can sense in the snippet by Gibbs above, a lot of filler words make writing exhausting to read.

So, think about what works for you and your audience. And, also, read your writing aloud. Does it flow naturally or does it become exhausting?

It’s up to you to find the balance between being concise and being more chatty.

12. Add gestures

Your keyboard doesn’t allow you to put hand gestures into a text.

Or does it?

< shrugs shoulders >

So, this is the trick:

You can put hand gestures or facial expressions between angled brackets.

< raises eyebrows >

It’s like putting emoticons into words.

Angled brackets can also be used to < checks notes > create a pause in your writing. Here’s Ann Handley in a recent newsletter :

You think you have a handle on a problem or a situation or a topic. You sit down to write: hands hover over laptop, claws ready to clack the keys, itching to go! Let’s GO! < seconds pass > < is it a minute already? > Your mind wanders.

Putting gestures or other comments between angled brackets can add personality to your writing. But always consider: Is this the right tone for the conversation you’re having? Or do you prefer a more concise conversational style?

Oh, and if you don’t like angled brackets, you can use *asterisks* instead.

Or, if you want to create a pause, just adding an ellipsis (…) is a neat trick, too.

13. ALL CAPS

I’m a little hesitant to mention this technique.

Because it should be used sparingly. Very sparingly.

ALL CAPS is a bit like shouting.

But the thing is this: When we talk, we can whisper, or shout, or sing.

And we can’t do that in our writing.

So, how can we emphasize our words instead?

My preferred method is to choose stronger words: Emotional words (such as despair, joyful, enchanting ) or sensory words (such as dazzling, gloomy, prickly, sweet ).

But sometimes, you may want to use ALL CAPS for extra emphasis.

For instance, Ramit Sethi occasionally uses ALL CAPS on his sales pages, like here :

There are tons of books, courses, and articles about confidence. “How to be confident at work!” “How to stop being shy on dates!”, “How to make everybody at a party love you!” The list goes on and on. The #1 piece of advice in all these materials is: “Just be yourself!” VOMIT.

And Joe Tracini also uses ALL CAPS occasionally in his memoir Ten Things I Hate About Me :

I’m scared. Terrified, really. I’m scared of what you’ll think of me, because even though I don’t know you, I don’t want to disappoint you, and I am desperate to be liked by EVERYBODY AT ALL TIMES. (Seriously. If I’m in a shop and I think the person on the till doesn’t like me, I will spend the rest of that day thinking I’ve ruined their afternoon, then worrying and wondering about how I could’ve been a better customer.)

Used sparingly, ALL CAPS can mimic the emphasis you’d add to a couple of words when talking. It’s like raising your voice.

Moreover, research indicates that putting one or two words in ALL CAPS makes it easier to understand something at a glance.

BUT …

Using ALL CAPS for longer texts reduces readability.

So, be careful: ALL CAPS can quickly be too much, and your writing tone becomes shouty.

14. Elongate your vowels

Pleeeaaaase, explain to me …

Why do we drag out our vowels?

Elongating vowels creates a more casual tone by mimicking our intonation when we talk. You may think this technique is only for teenagers on social media but even Apple uses it on their website :

The looongest battery life of any iPhone. Ever.

And Wil Reynolds writes in a blog post about SEO and AI disruption :

SEO has been “dead” or “dying” since before I got started in 1999. Mayyyyybe it’s just an industry that changes a lot.

I sometimes elongate vowels on Twitter , too:

Pleeease … Don’t tell me to write like I talk. In writing, you can’t use hand gestures & facial expressions. So, writing has to be stronger than spoken language.

You can also lengthen certain consonants. Dammmmmnnn. What a messss.

So, this is an interesting technique, most commonly used on social media. Elsewhere, use in moderation or not at all. There is a risk your tone becomes unprofessional.

Always consider who your reader is and what tone is appropriate for your conversation with them.

How casual should your writing be?

Your objective is not to make your writing as conversational and casual as possible.

Think about the topic you’re discussing with your reader.

Consider your reader’s reaction and what feelings crop up when they’re reading your text.

Also, think about the context. Social media tends to be most casual, email comes next. And blogs tend to be more conversational than books but that’s also a matter of personal preference.

Sometimes, simple and clear writing is your aim.

Sometimes, you want to go a step further and turn your text into a conversation or make the tone more informal.

How casual is your conversation with your reader?

Cup of tea? Slice of cake?

PS This is a completely refreshed and expanded version of an article originally posted on January 14th, 2014. The new version was published on August 29th, 2023.

Recommended reading on conversational writing:

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Reader Interactions

Leave a comment and join the conversation cancel reply.

December 15, 2023 at 4:00 am

Thanks, for this very insightful post. I think that people, looking for guidance in their writing, will definitely not leave empty. I have personally gained useful tips and suggestions, that will help me in my writing. This post will add value to the newbie’s writing, like me, and even some of the more mature writers.

December 15, 2023 at 10:29 am

I’m glad you found it useful, Rupert.

October 31, 2023 at 9:46 pm

Faaaaantastic! Learnt LOADS. Thanks.

November 1, 2023 at 9:00 am

Yay! I’m glad it was helpful. 🙂

October 21, 2023 at 9:13 am

This made me laugh and all the tips are helpful. Happy Belated Birthday. It’s never too late to celebrate your beauty Henneke and to be grateful for all you are and all you share! You give me hope and inspiration and skill.

October 23, 2023 at 10:37 am

Thanks so much, Andrea. This was a fun post to write.

October 18, 2023 at 4:09 pm

For someone who has stalled on writing for a while due to so many things, bereavement being one. Reading this has truly inspired me, I’ve taken notes and I can’t wait to practice all that you shared. Very informative and useful tips. I believe you’ve just eased the burden I felt at the thoughts of going back to writing. Thank you Henneke!

October 18, 2023 at 4:56 pm

I’m sorry about your bereavement, Bukky. I hope you’ll get back to writing soon and will find joy in writing again.

September 11, 2023 at 3:33 pm

I haven’t even finished reading, and just have to say how truly helpful this is! Our company just rebranded our voice/tone, and “conversational” is our latest descriptor of how we should be writing (I’m a copywriter). I thought I knew how, but am quickly realizing how hard it is when writing about tech products. Thank you for making this so approachable and easy to understand. I have a post-it note handy with notes from your blog to keep on my desk! 🙂

September 13, 2023 at 6:58 am

Thank you, Marissa. That’s lovely feedback. Happy writing!

September 8, 2023 at 6:29 pm

Thank you so much Henneke. You’re a whole institution, trust me. 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼❤️🤗 Thank you

September 13, 2023 at 6:57 am

Thank you, Nnenna. I just enjoy writing, sharing and connecting with lovely people like you.

September 4, 2023 at 9:53 pm

Happy belated birthday, Henneke. I hope you’re feeling well. As usual, you never disappoint me with how you display your knowledge — much appreciated.

September 5, 2023 at 4:21 pm

Thank you, Dom. That’s lovely feedback. And I appreciate your birthday wishes.

September 4, 2023 at 10:07 am

Thank you very much Henneke for this long topic! I’ve already read the first version before and now I see new stuff you added. There is such information that I can’t remember all!! I feel I need to read that again from time to time to assimilate that. And Happy Birthday in late! 🤗

September 5, 2023 at 4:19 pm

Thanks so much, Alexandra. No need to remember it all. Just pick a new technique or two that appeal to you, and start practicing. When you feel you want to try something different, you can always come back. But you know that already 🙂

September 2, 2023 at 12:53 pm

Great read. In order to make the writing *even more* conversational, we might also use:

– emojis, to underline the message or suggest the opposite (yeah, right… 🙄), but used sparingly. – animated GIFs. Again, to make the point in a funny, relatable way. Maybe instead of writing gestures, we might show ’em 🙂 – larger or colored characters, to emphasize a short sequence of words. However, I’d use this technique sparingly, depending on context (I woulnd’t use it in B2B communication, but it’s ok when writing to young moms).

Apart from those, I think your list is all-inclusive 🙂

September 3, 2023 at 10:34 am

Thanks so much for adding these suggestions, Radu. Fab.

August 30, 2023 at 10:14 pm

Thank you Henneke for your precious article. Vero useeeeeeful! And… Happy Birthday from Italy. Maurizio

August 31, 2023 at 9:43 am

Sooooo glad you find this useful, Maurizio.

And thank you for your birthday wishes 🙂

August 30, 2023 at 8:37 pm

Thank you! Happy Birthday!🎉🎊🎈🎂

August 31, 2023 at 9:42 am

Thank you so much, Shauna. 🎉

August 30, 2023 at 4:31 pm

Hi Henneke, Very handy article. I love all the different ways you have picked up on to make writing sound like a real conversation – all the umms and errs. And you’ve made me realise that although I say ‘anyway’ all the time, I would never dream of writing it. So now I need to think about that, along with so and however. Thanks.

August 30, 2023 at 5:11 pm

It’ll probably be interesting to experiment and see whether you like it when you add “anyway” to your writing, and what frequency feels right.

Writing will never quite be the same as speaking. It’ll always be more concise, more structured, and a little stronger. But when we allow ourselves to be a bit more conversational, we can let our personality shine through a little more.

happy writing!

August 30, 2023 at 8:29 am

Happy birthday!

Brilliant piece; saved for future reference. Thank you.

August 30, 2023 at 11:08 am

Thank you so much, Beverley. Happy writing!

August 29, 2023 at 9:25 pm

I just finished a youth book on the 23rd Psalm that’s woven in a young girl’s life while studying it. She narrowly survived bullets randomly fired at the March 6, 2023 shooting in Allen Texas, at the Outlet Mall.

I’m mostly pleased with the book, but wished I had read—no studied, this article before starting. I tried to make the book conversational. I doubt that I succeeded. Do I rewrite with this article in mind? Probably not, since the parents of the girl have approved it. BUT, this will be a go-to on my next book.

Thanks for this article. It truly is helpful

August 30, 2023 at 11:10 am

I think that’s a wise decision. It’s easy to be tempted to keep improving a book but as it’s approved already, it’s probably better to start your next project.

Best wishes to the girl who survived the shooting.

August 29, 2023 at 8:04 pm

This is not a blog post.

But a Bible on conversational writing.

What else can I say?

Best wishes,

August 29, 2023 at 8:41 pm

As I was working on it, I was wondering whether it was bit too much!

August 29, 2023 at 5:49 pm

This landed in my inbox at the perfect time. Have a first draft of my next newsletter and it reads kind of stiff. Ugh. Your tips totally inspire me to bring it to life. Thanks, Henneke.

August 29, 2023 at 6:16 pm

Yay! That makes me happy, Fiona. Thank you. Happy editing!

August 29, 2023 at 12:54 pm

I started and couldn’t stop reading your article. And, I missed my train. Not to worry, I gained more from your item than my meeting with the bank manager. Thanks. Is it OK to use conversational writing on my website pages?

August 29, 2023 at 1:01 pm

Oops. I’m sorry you missed your train!

And yes, you can use conversational writing on your website. Just consider who is reading your website and what the right tone is to engage them.

April 18, 2023 at 12:09 pm

Hi, Can you share if a conversational tone can be used in a coffee table book?

April 18, 2023 at 4:01 pm

Sure. Why not? It depends how you want to position your coffee table book.

October 21, 2022 at 5:47 pm

You got me in awe! I just can not stop myself from reading it till the end + I want to read more !

October 22, 2022 at 4:23 pm

Thank you, Shafeeq. That’s a lovely compliment 🙂

August 12, 2022 at 1:03 pm

Great tips for chatting through writing.

Way too many bloggers and online marketers forget that human beings sit on the other side of the computer or phone. There are other humans out there reading our content and engaging us from their laptops and phones. Keeping this idea in mind urges me to be chatty, to write how I speak and to converse with fellow human beings by a Blogging From Paradise, my emails and through social media too.

We want to chat with people online not speak to them.

August 12, 2022 at 4:26 pm

Yes, so true. Conversational writing is not just for blog writing, but also emails and social media. It even works for books!

April 27, 2021 at 3:05 pm

Beautiful flow. Your message arrives home with perfect clarity and conciseness. Thumbs up Henneke.

April 27, 2021 at 6:56 pm

Thank you, Deniz. Happy writing!

September 18, 2020 at 5:18 pm

Do you have any YA novel suggestions which are written using conventional tone. I would be very interested in this. Thanks

September 18, 2020 at 5:40 pm

I don’t read a lot of YA novels. The only one I can remember reading “recently” is The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. I read that almost two years ago but if I remember correctly, that used a conversational tone. I’m sure there are many many more.

August 29, 2020 at 6:55 pm

This is great. I just wrote a conversational piece today. I wanted to double check if I was on the right track. This post was insightful.

I have jotted down points like checking if it looks like writing. I am going to revisit the piece tomorrow with fresh mindset and your overall tips.

Thank you so much. This was a great read and helpful in a practical way. 🙂

August 29, 2020 at 8:08 pm

I’m glad this has been helpful to you, Kavya, and I like your idea of revisiting your writing tomorrow (rather than today) to check whether it sounds like writing. Happy editing!

August 27, 2020 at 6:43 am

Wow! The post itself is written in a conversational tone. Flows well and easy to connect with. Thanks for this.

August 27, 2020 at 12:13 pm

Thank you, Martin. I’m glad you enjoyed this.

August 5, 2020 at 3:58 am

I love this! It guided me to a nice, relaxed way of blogging. This approach will allow readers to get comfortable on my blog.

August 5, 2020 at 9:39 am

Thank you, Tayler. Happy blogging!

June 29, 2020 at 4:17 pm

That was a real good post about writing good stuff.Writing is an art and you are an artist in true sense.Your writing style kept me hooked till end of the article.And I was compelled to write a comment to you. Way to go ??

June 29, 2020 at 6:20 pm

Thanks so much for your comment (and your compliment!), Preeti 🙂

June 1, 2020 at 6:24 pm

That’s great!! I think you are a fantastic writer , I like this. Good writing has a strong voice, where you can hear the writer as if they were talking to you.

June 2, 2020 at 12:55 pm

Thank you, Amit. Happy writing!

April 23, 2020 at 11:40 am

I never knew before that writing something, that too conversationally also exists. I meet new people everyday as a part of my job. I love talking to new people. And yes, asking questions definitely gets the other person involved. Thank you for such an awesome topic. I hope these tips will help me better in effective communication with my clients. Thanks and keep on giving us more.

April 23, 2020 at 12:26 pm

Asking questions is a much underrated skill. I’m glad you’ve discovered the power of questions already. Thank you for stopping by, Mihir.

March 9, 2020 at 10:19 am

I accidentally clicked on the link to your site, I liked it very much . Signed up for your free course.

March 9, 2020 at 7:35 pm

I hope you’ll enjoy the snacks, Sergey! Thank you for joining 🙂

January 24, 2020 at 5:44 pm

I loved the way you presented the ideas. I am a fan of your writing thank you. I bookmarked this post so, I can read it daily and improve my writing skills.

January 26, 2020 at 10:04 am

Thanks so much, Vijay. Happy writing!

November 28, 2019 at 11:35 am

This is amazing….!! I just got a reply from a company to write casual content, I was so confused… How am I going to do… but now I feel a little bit confident… I hope I can write well… Wish me luck….:)

November 28, 2019 at 4:56 pm

I’m glad this post is useful to you, Sandhya. Happy writing!

PS Consider asking your client for examples of conversational writing they like because the interpretation of what kind of writing is conversational may differ from company to company.

November 14, 2019 at 5:46 am

Hi Henneke,

Thank you for providing us with these useful writing tips. I often struggle with making my technical content look more informal and interesting but haven’t succeeded. With your tips, I am sure I can improve gradually.

Thanks and keep on giving us more

November 14, 2019 at 7:41 pm

I’m glad you found this useful, Amos.

Especially with technical texts, it can be useful to edit with your reader in mind. If the reader is an expert, it’s fine to use technical terms because they’d use those terms in a conversation, too. But if the reader isn’t, then it can be hard work to simplify your text to make it understandable.

Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it.

September 11, 2019 at 7:30 am

Beautiful tips. I spend half of my day reading your tips… You are seriously to the point and have informative tips. I love it. I write small blogs but with long sentences and I learn a great deal of munching wisdom about how to clean up my writing. I think I will make a few changes in my website. I love your recipes….

September 11, 2019 at 8:25 am

Thank you so much, Jim. I’m delighted you’re enjoying my blog. Happy writing! 🙂

May 13, 2019 at 11:50 am

Cut the “writerliness” — now I have a name for this!

It feels like you live in my head (in a non-creepy way, of course) because when I revert to using passive voice or pompous-sounding words, I can almost hear you saying, “You might want to change that ?”

Thanks for your example from Ann Handley’s newsletter, I really enjoyed reading her conversational tone.

May 13, 2019 at 6:28 pm

I’m glad I don’t sound creepy when you hear me suggesting a change 😀

The word “writerliness” isn’t in the dictionary, but I think we should get it added 😉

Happy writing!

March 7, 2019 at 3:39 pm

Thank you Henneke. I love it.

March 7, 2019 at 7:03 pm

Thank you, Firdaos.

March 7, 2019 at 1:50 pm

I think a conversational tone works really well for blogs and other types of writing.

I think voice is the key to a good writer, and it is not exactly the same thing as tone. Good writing has a strong voice, where you can hear the writer as if they were talking to you.

Yes, voice is not the same as tone, even though many people use them as synonyms.

If you’d read a transcript from an interview with me, you’d notice that I talk quite differently from the way I write. It’s not like I’m a different person when I write and when I talk, and you can recognize the same personality—no matter whether I talk or write, but there’s still a big difference in the way I write and talk. Unfortunately, it’s hard to edit your talking. 🙂

March 7, 2019 at 12:12 pm

I’m hooked. Each of your articles is helpful. I love your work. Thanks.

March 7, 2019 at 12:19 pm

Thank you, Olusegun. Happy writing!

March 4, 2019 at 3:47 pm

I had read this earlier. I came back to read it again 🙂 This gold!

The first place I ever heard of ‘writerliness’ but it makes a lot of sense.

March 4, 2019 at 5:45 pm

Writerliness isn’t in the dictionary. I made it up. But writerly exists and simply means “of, relating to, or typical of a writer” (according to Merriam-Webster). So, the meaning I use is a little more specific, but it seemed the best way to express this idea that writing has specific characteristics that make it sound like writing.

Thank you for coming back to reread and comment 🙂

February 26, 2019 at 11:39 am

Love this!!

I especially like the advice about counting how many times i mention; me, I & us.

You are spot on, i’m going to keep the reader in mind as much as possible, i wanted to be the best conversationalist possible!

February 26, 2019 at 2:53 pm

Thank you, Nick. And nice to see your picture now! 🙂

February 24, 2019 at 5:52 pm

Excellent advice, Henneke. Your conversational tone kept me reading. Many blog posts lose me after the first couple of paragraphs.

February 25, 2019 at 4:56 pm

I’m glad I kept you reading. Thank you for stopping by, Kathy 🙂

February 23, 2019 at 7:31 pm

I love this post! I enjoyed how you made your points come across. Thank you, Henneke!

February 23, 2019 at 7:34 pm

Thank you, Hank!

February 22, 2019 at 5:41 pm

Great post! I adore your writing style and generous tips for those of us wishing to improve our communications. I recommend your blog to my clients. Thank you for all that you do and share. Breathe joy!

February 22, 2019 at 7:26 pm

Thank you so much, KC, for your lovely comment and for recommending my blog to your clients. I appreciate it. Happy writing!

February 21, 2019 at 4:04 pm

Came here from LinkedIn. Now I know what you meant by the tea remark. An amazing article Henneke. You’ve broken down such a complex problem into the simplest form possible. And like always, your artworks are amazing.

February 22, 2019 at 10:39 am

Yes, we’re all having tea together here. I’m glad you were able to join, too. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

February 21, 2019 at 9:06 am

Hi Henneke Great post. I am writing a conversational piece at the moment and found this very helpful. Thank you. Sue Kingham

February 22, 2019 at 10:29 am

I’m glad this was helpful, Sue. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

February 21, 2019 at 4:41 am

Wow it does not seem that long since I read a similar advice, from you, crazy how four years can seem like four months. or was it fife month? I do love your posts about quitting the fancy writing, I’m certainly not that fancy type. Thank you Henneke

It was actually five years ago when I posted the original version. I can hardly believe I’ve been writing here for so many years. Crazy, eh?

February 20, 2019 at 3:18 pm

I, too, have read this one before, felt inspired and benefited, and commented already. But. This time you really got through to my “straight A+ in English” brain. How did you do that? 😀 So, thanks very much for the re-do, and … … I noticed Henrietta is sitting on the “h”. So I’d be one seat beyond, on the “k” when I read, here. It really felt that personal. <3

February 20, 2019 at 7:41 pm

Yes, the K is there waiting for you—I drew it in the last picture. And you can put your feet on the M if you like. Shall I make you a tea or a coffee? 🙂

February 20, 2019 at 4:39 am

Good reminder Henneke – conversational writing also very apt for how-to books. Paul, wet and steamy Sydney

February 20, 2019 at 9:30 am

Yep, conversational writing works for books, too. It seems that blogs (and email) have spearheaded to drive to conversational writing but it’s used more and more in books, too. Stay cool!

February 20, 2019 at 3:21 am

What a fantastic article, brilliantly summing up the topic. A perfect snapshot of the copywriter’s job. Love the infographic!

February 20, 2019 at 9:29 am

Thank you so much, Kate. I enjoyed drawing the pictures of Henrietta and her ideal reader on the typewriter 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 11:45 pm

Yes, this is what conversational feels like. I find myself learning to write shorter posts these days. This was certainly a great read. I have shared with my team, I shouldn’t take in the awesomeness alone.

February 20, 2019 at 9:28 am

Thank you so much for sharing this with your team, Mary. I appreciate it. Happy writing!

February 19, 2019 at 10:49 pm

I’ve read this post before, but I love it and totally concur. I picked up something new this time. Your distinction about writing as you write rather than as you speak got my attention this time. I hadn’t picked up on that before, but it really makes a lot of sense. Going forward, I think that will be very helpful in my writing. Thanks for yet another great idea.

That point about conversational writing not being the same as writing as you speak wasn’t worked out in the old version. I expanded it quite a lot. (And I also edited it so it sounds more like the way I write now rather than five years ago.)

Thank you for stopping by again, Gordon!

February 19, 2019 at 10:29 pm

Your email arrived in my Inbox at precisely the right time . . . when I am beginning to overhaul my Web site. Good reminders of how you can win over business not by being formal and intellectual, but by being more concise and casual. Thank you appearing in my life.

February 20, 2019 at 9:26 am

I’m glad this email arrived at the right time. Good luck with overhauling your website! Such projects can feel a bit intimidating.

February 19, 2019 at 10:09 pm

Hi Henneke I loved this, however, when I went to say thank you in the comments I felt like I missed a really good part FIVE YEARS AGO. I have so many writing hang-ups at the moment, this helps at least one.

love alwaz mike

February 20, 2019 at 9:25 am

I’m sorry you missed out five years ago, but I can reassure you this new version is a lot better! 🙂

Do you have any specific writing hang-ups I can help with?

February 19, 2019 at 8:29 pm

Brilliant, Henneke! I read many copywriting and business books but few write as well as you do. The list of these writers such as Dan Kennedy, Ted Nicholas, Seth Godin, Drayton Bird and many others simply don’t write as clearly and succinctly as you do. Robert Ringer and Andy Maslen aren’t among those – they write well and are always interesting. It seems to me that ‘if it isn’t interesting it won’t be informative’ (don’t know where I read that!). Thanks again.

February 19, 2019 at 8:38 pm

Wow. That’s a big compliment. Thank you, Paul ?

February 19, 2019 at 6:35 pm

You always hit the nail on the head–wham! Also want you to know your Enchanting Marketing “class” is proving so helpful. I write fiction stories not content marketing but believe me, I appreciate the help you give. Besides, your book recommendations are terrific. Don’t know how you’re able to do so much and give so generously to so many hungry birds! (I’m allowed one exclamation point–right?)

February 19, 2019 at 8:37 pm

I’m so happy to know that you’re finding the Write It, Don’t Fight It course helpful! Thank you so much for stopping by, Patrica. I appreciate it.

February 19, 2019 at 4:01 pm

I so agree, Henneke! Writing that feels conversational is still writing. It still takes work! I used to think, to warm and friendly, just transcribe a real conversation. That did not work! My transcribed interviews just seemed to lay there like a sack of potatoes. Your editing steps are essential! They’re like the chopping and cooking that turns a heap of words into something wonderful (like french fries). Your article says it best. A conversational tone is deliberate. It’s your choice of a few deft cuts, some heat and some sharp sensory spices that delight eaters – er – readers like me.

February 19, 2019 at 5:35 pm

I read a book a couple of years ago. It was a business book but the author also writes poetry which surprised me because the book didn’t feel like it was written by a poet who appreciates words. There was something lazy about the writing. Later I discovered that he’d dictated the book. Dictating helped him overcome writer’s block. The editing was pretty good so it wasn’t noticeable at first but still it something was slightly “off.” So, yes, as you say, the conversational tone is deliberate and takes some work.

Thank you for stopping by, Joanne!

February 19, 2019 at 3:18 pm

What can I say? Written so nice and concise. Pour me another cuppa!

February 19, 2019 at 5:32 pm

Coffee or tea? 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 1:33 pm

As always, Henneke, a wonderful post. I love the freshness of your post structure. So different to the Google formula of H1 to H10 or whatever.No table of contents or video as is deemed so vital by big bloggers. Thank you for an entertaining post.

February 19, 2019 at 2:19 pm

Thank you for your lovely compliment, Poovanesh. I prefer to put my readers first (and I’ve found that works quite well for Google, too).

February 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm

Nailed it! Your drawings drive the point home perfectly. (And, of course, I ❤️the ?!) ?

February 19, 2019 at 2:18 pm

The dog loves you, too 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 1:22 pm

Very inspiring. Thank you.

February 19, 2019 at 1:26 pm

My pleasure 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 12:51 pm

Brilliant as usual Henneke. Thanks for the salient reminder. I guess you could say: “Don’t be boring!”.

February 19, 2019 at 12:56 pm

Yes, that helps, too. 🙂

Good to “see” you again, Ray!

February 19, 2019 at 12:23 pm

Henneke, you’ve come up with another Classic. It’s on my wall. In front of my desk.

And it’s the first thing I read every day.

And while you at it, thank Kerstin for me.

February 19, 2019 at 12:26 pm

Conversational writing is one of my favorite topics. I was nervous about revisiting the old post but I’m glad I did (and it changed more than I had envisioned). 🙂

Thank you for your comment, Lee, and happy writing!

February 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

I felt like your favourite reader, so you nailed it. And I’m looking forward to drink tea with you one day .. ha ha (but not kidding). Your imagery is so funny e.g. “Send difficult words to the naughty corner and throw a party for simple words.” Ha ha. All the best, Tine

February 19, 2019 at 12:14 pm

One day we’ll drink tea together! 🙂

February 19, 2019 at 11:49 am

Henneke you know your stuff

Thank you, Jacqueline. 🙂

March 21, 2018 at 5:30 pm

I thank you very much and love everything you send me, I love illustration and I will not forget it.

March 23, 2018 at 11:51 am

Thank you, Samar. Happy writing!

February 12, 2018 at 3:28 am

Good Article and explained nicely, what needs to be taken care to make the writing as conversational writing

February 12, 2018 at 9:51 am

I’m glad you enjoyed it, Harish. Happy writing!

September 9, 2017 at 11:38 am

This post is great. The point about short paragraphs is the one that resonates most with me.

I hire a professional writer to write our blog, and at times, I have to go in and break up 6-10 sentence paragraphs. I hate seeing it!

The web and content format is changing so dramatically, nobody wants to read a wall of text these days!

February 16, 2017 at 7:28 pm

This is an excellent article. I’ve just noticed that I use exclamation rather than questions far too much in my writing. Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong?

February 16, 2017 at 9:29 pm

Thank you for stopping by, Derek.

April 25, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Just a suggestion: maybe you can add some definite heuristics as well.. such as some effective techniques that have been proven to work.. say for reducing content length, I’d say change from “in order to” to just “to”.. something like that

March 11, 2016 at 3:58 am

Great tips! I’ve just one question: how do you handle clients who insist that conversational writing is not ‘professional’? Had a recent client who insisted, in a snooty curl-in-the-lip manner, that they are a premium brand dealing with professional readers, and so things like contractions, short sentences, using 1st/2nd pov etc. are improper.

Problem is, the style they want would bore even the most stone-hearted tax accountant to tears :-/

I suppose my real question is: Can premium B2B branding still be portrayed through a more humane, conversational writing?

March 14, 2016 at 10:11 pm

Yes, that’s tricky. You still have to respect the brand voice, even if you don’t agree with it. With some clients you can adjust the guidelines for tone of voice, but others are pretty set in their ways.

To me, B2B is also writing for people, and yes, it can be portrayed in a more conversational way of writing, but not all brand managers like that. Of course, depending on who you’re talking to, your language may be more technical as you write using the same terms your audience uses.

January 19, 2016 at 4:51 pm

Hi there! I have always been hesitant to use “you” as it may sound preachy. Everyone I talk to says it’s best to write in 1st person. What do you think?

Also, agree on white space and editing. So much easier to read.

Learning forward!

January 19, 2016 at 5:02 pm

I use “you” a lot in my blog posts, and it doesn’t feel preachy to me 🙂

September 18, 2015 at 1:21 pm

Going through the comments section I realized that I went through a lot of conversational writing. Most of the writers were perhaps not aware of it. Awesome post 🙂

September 18, 2015 at 2:27 pm

September 3, 2015 at 2:44 pm

Thank you Henneke, this post is going to help me begin my blogging journey!

September 6, 2015 at 2:29 pm

Great! Happy blogging!

August 19, 2015 at 5:49 pm

Thank you Henneke, this is a sweet post. I already hankered for more.

August 19, 2015 at 6:56 pm

Thank you, Felix. Nice to meet 🙂

Happy reading!

April 17, 2015 at 1:13 pm

Beautiful tips. I spend half of my day reading your tips… You are seriously to the point and have informative tips. I love it. I write small blogs but with long sentences and I learn a great deal of munching wisdom about how to clean up my writing. I think I will make a few changes in my website. I love your recipes…. 🙂

April 17, 2015 at 1:24 pm

I love your phrase “munching” 🙂

Happy reading and happy writing!

July 14, 2014 at 7:41 am

Yes, thank you for your answer and for the examples!

July 13, 2014 at 7:31 am

Hi Henneke, I totally agree with you on this. But I’ve got a question: I’m working for a Dutch university. One of my tasks is to write texts for the university website. My target audience are prospective students. I would love to change the way we, as a university, talk to our readers. Because, frankly, I think all our copy is totally boring, generic and abstract (“Are you innovative and interested in current issues? Then you should enroll in programme X.”). I can’t seem to persuade my bosses of the need to switch to personalized writing though, because – as they put it – it’s important that as many secondary education pupils as possible should recognize themselves in our texts. And ofcourse its true that people have many different reasons to choose a particular education. So, my question is: is it even possible for organizations with so many different target audiences with such divergent interests to find a personal tone of voice in their writing? And if so, how would you tackle this problem? Thanks in advance for your advice, I really appreciate it!

July 13, 2014 at 2:23 pm

Hi Evelyne – that’s an excellent question and can be a tricky problem when people are stuck in old-fashioned writing.

I’d say the first thing to make sure is that your bosses understand the differences between how people read on the web vs how they read an academic paper or a book. This will help them understand the importance of using white space, short sentences, short paragraphs, and simple words.

When you need to appeal to a wider audience, you want to keep your word choice fairly neutral – you can’t add personality by using slang as not everyone will understand it (unless you do for instance specific case studies to appeal to specific groups of students).

Dropbox and Evernote are good examples of companies who appeal to a wide audience, but sound human in their writing. They do this by simplifying their writing, keeping content concise, and focusing strongly on benefits rather than features.

Does this help?

April 16, 2014 at 2:41 am

Henneke, Just now got here, for some unknown reason, and as I read your post, I realized who I would write to, immediately. When I first began blogging, I followed a lovely young woman who inspired me, totally, with her great posts. I wondered how she did everything she did, and why she bothered to visit my site. Then she was attacked on fb, and decided to take a break. My heart was broken, because I saw her as a sort of bloggy mom. although I was old enough to be HER mom. After reading this post, I realize she is who I should write my posts for, sort of in her memory, although she is very much alive and has another new baby to show for her time off. I can constantly visualize her, as I always have, but never did write for/to her. Also, I have noticed on my other site, that when I write advice letters to people whose names I have changed, but whose situations are real, my posts REALLY resonate with people. That’s just what you are talking about, I think…

April 16, 2014 at 11:29 am

Yep, when you write for one person rather than for a crowd of readers, your writing becomes more “real”. Readers will notice it in your writing voice. And they all feel like you’re writing for them personally.

February 5, 2014 at 8:11 pm

This was a nice post, Henneke. I love this quote.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it. ~ Elmore Leonard

I think that in all aspects of our digital communications, we need to be more conversational. If there is no personal feel or touch, then what is the point? On that note, I included your post in my roundup of the month’s best SEO, social media, and content marketing. http://www.northcutt.com/blog/2014/02/january-resource-round-up-the-best-of-seo-social-media-and-content-marketing/

February 5, 2014 at 11:38 pm

Yep, conversational writing works in all digital communication. Thank you for stopping by, Ben, and for including my article in your roundup. Much appreciated 🙂

February 4, 2014 at 3:03 pm

In preparation for launching my own blog I’ve start reading posts like these, and I can’t tell you how much it’s helping. Before doing any research into it all I would be writing in a style that might sit somewhere in between this and sleazy sales person, unintentionally of course.

Maybe I should re-consider the copy on my website as well? (see what I did there? :D)

So, thank you again 🙂

February 4, 2014 at 4:18 pm

You’re a quick learner, Sean 🙂

Good luck with launching your blog!

February 1, 2014 at 1:53 pm

Hello Henneke,

I am a first-time reader, and found your guest post from one of my Facebook groups. I really enjoy your writing style, and I can see where some of my blog posts have fallen flat. Thank you for sharing the “how” of storytelling in such an enchanting manner.

February 1, 2014 at 9:06 pm

Hi Holly, Welcome & thank you for taking the time to comment on your first visit. I appreciate it 🙂 Glad to hear you find my blog posts useful!

January 29, 2014 at 3:30 pm

You are a writer–and a darn good one. And I can picture a Kindle children’s book with those super cute pictures. Now you just need a story and title to go with it! 😉

January 29, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Thank you, Penelope. 🙂

Maybe one day I can write and illustrate a children’s book for grown-ups. 😉

February 20, 2019 at 2:52 pm

Oh, yes. Do! Don’t you think a children’s book on how to become a writer would be great? I can imagine if there’d been such a book when I was enjoying writing assignments the MOST in grade school. Wouldn’t you love to cause a child to have courage and begin far earlier than I did? A MUST!!! 😀

January 29, 2014 at 12:34 am

Ok, Henneke. You are going to have to take on the title of “artist” along with writer. Are you up for that? 😉

Now you’ve got me wondering how many questions I have in my posts. I’m gonna go count ’em now. Thanks for germinating and sprouting all these new ideas in my head!

January 29, 2014 at 9:59 am

An artist?!? Not sure I’m quite ready for that yet. I’ve barely got used to the idea of calling myself a writer. 😉

January 23, 2014 at 6:15 am

Dear Henneke,

It is this time I am grateful. Thank you for your generous contributions over time. You have truly enriched my life with a well-toned understanding of writing a Blog.

January 23, 2014 at 11:47 am

You’re welcome, Joel. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

January 21, 2014 at 10:58 am

Thank you Henneke 🙂

January 17, 2014 at 3:49 am

Once again, awesome post, and so completely relevant!

I really like the idea of writing to one reader. As soon as I’m writing to a crowd, I can’t write at all. But I have this ongoing fear that if I write to one reader…my favorite reader…my ideal reader…I’ll connect with such an infinitesimal group of people.

I want to write about writing and marketing. Marketing with soul, you know. Because I feel like anything done with love, with real authenticity, with the soul, is infinitely better. But I’m finding it difficult to take the leap to even do that myself.

Thanks so much, Melissa

January 17, 2014 at 10:43 am

Yes, I so agree with you about writing with the soul. You’ll find that if you write for one reader it becomes much easier to write with soul and personality.

In a way having an ideal reader is just a “trick” to make your writing more engaging. Don’t worry about connecting just with one reader or a few. When you write for one person, it doesn’t mean that only one person will feel you’re talking with them. Many people will feel you’ve written the post especially for them, because many people are struggling with the same problems and challenges as your ideal reader.

Does that help?

January 18, 2014 at 3:42 am

It’s still a little scary, but your words help a lot! Thanks a bunch.

January 16, 2014 at 1:01 am

Hi again, love your drawings. Please note my website is not operating at the moment. I had to remove the files. So at the moment I am reworking everything. Give me a couple of days and I will get back to normal. You see this is the case with novices, mistakes, mistakes and more mistakes. I hope when I have restored the site it will be better in many ways. Also I hope eventually to start a blog that is why I read as much as I can. Your site I enjoy very much. That drawing has again just ‘pinged’ in my mind, so clean cut very striking. I shall have some of my own art, rather conventional, on my site when it is re-published, you might take some time to view. Thanks again for more interesting material, Tom

January 16, 2014 at 4:54 pm

We all make mistakes, Tom. It’s human 🙂

Good luck with reworking your site!

January 15, 2014 at 9:22 pm

Wow, I feel truly honoured to have inspired this post. It’s fantastic and really great advice as always. I just read all the comments you got for this post – looks like I’m not the only one struggling with this particular point. Happy new year, Henneke, and thank you so much for your great blog. xx

January 15, 2014 at 9:55 pm

Thank you so much for all your great comments last year, Kerstin. You inspire me to keep writing. 🙂

Happy new year to you, too!

January 15, 2014 at 6:39 pm

Thanks for the tips. I use “You” a bit more than I should in my posts, as in “You are loved” opposed to “I love you.” Will work on it:)

January 15, 2014 at 9:54 pm

Great! I hope you enjoyed the cake 😉

Thank you for stopping by, Clara.

January 15, 2014 at 5:18 pm

Great post, Henneke! Love how you flipped the idea of writing like you talk and rather to edit your text so it doesn’t sound like writing. Great way to think of it.

January 15, 2014 at 6:17 pm

Thank you, Jonas. This is really how it works for me. I have to edit out the gobbledygook and undulating sentences to make a text more conversational.

Good to see you here! 🙂

January 15, 2014 at 9:47 am

H. firstly, what a great drawing! You should definitely keep going. Thank you also for giving me permission to use but, because, and at the start of sentences. Whilst I’ve let go of other writing formalities, these have been particularly hard to let go. And sometimes it just feels right to start a sentence this way. Really enjoying reading your posts.

January 15, 2014 at 10:15 am

Thank you so much, Caroline. And good to see you’ve given yourself permission to start a sentence with And . You deserve a big slice of cake. 🙂

Just tell that high school teacher to shut up with his old-fashioned advice 🙂

January 15, 2014 at 12:41 pm

Nomnomnom 🙂

January 15, 2014 at 4:13 am

Hi! I just stumbled upon your work and I’m totally hooked!

I’m a marketer in the Philippines. Like you, English is not my native language, but it’s the language I use to reach customers. (Here English is unofficially the language of business.)

You make me want to go back and improve everything I’ve done in the past. Now I know how to do it. Thank you!

January 15, 2014 at 10:12 am

Welcome, Rhea. It’s so nice to have people from across the world joining the conversation here. I hope you took a big slice of the cake 😉

January 14, 2014 at 9:59 pm

Henneke, I love your illustration . Congratulations! I’m proud of you

January 14, 2014 at 10:16 pm

Thank you, Louie. As one of my most loyal readers you deserve a real slice of cake some time!

January 14, 2014 at 9:58 pm

As part of my New Year’s plan to get a handle on my e-mail in-box I have unsubscribed from most of the e-mail lists I have been on. But, I love receiving your e-mails because I feel exactly the way you describe in your post when I see yours come in. Thanks for your clear, helpful, engaging, and very personalized writing!

January 14, 2014 at 10:14 pm

I feel honored that you’re still allowing my emails in your inbox. Thank you. I’ll do my best to keep rewarding you with a slice of cake each week 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Another great post. I’m definitely guilty of not asking enough questions and not focusing enough on the reader.

– Steve

P.S. The cartoon was cute as well

It’s easy to forget the reader – you can’t see him yawning, glancing at his cellphone, or fidgeting in his seat as a sign that you’re rambling on too much. A face-to-face conversation is much easier.

Thank you for stopping by! 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Hi Henneke, Excellent article. You do write very conversationally, so you are walking the walk.

I cringe everytime I see an exclamation mark because I feel as if I’m being “screamed at.” And besides, it takes away from prudent use of it!!!! So many !!!! in our lives, it feels like so much noise!

I love the picture of Henrietta & Arthur!!!! (Those are sincere) Mary

January 14, 2014 at 7:41 pm

I once wrote that using more than one exclamation mark – in an email or blog post – is a crime against enchantment. I still believe this is true.

And yes, I do my best to walk the walk. Thank you so much, Mary 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 4:14 pm

Really helpful. Thank you! Learned a lot this week. And I’m particularly motivated as I did a survey of respondents last week and when asked what I could improve, a few of them said my grammar! I couldn’t agree more.

Interesting to read your comment about your native Dutch coming out – my New Zealand comes out too. I try and catch it, because people don’t understand me when I use words like “niggle” (irritate), “puke” (throw up) or “pash (kiss),” but they still occasionally slip through.

This language business is awfully fun. And I love reading your emails each week. Thanks again, Lisa (PS: Have you read “On Writing” by Stephen King? Am reading at the moment, again. Very inspiring.)

January 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm

Yes, language is fun. I sometimes use British words without realizing they’re specific to British-English and others might not get them.

I like the word “niggle” – it’s also used over here. I’m surprised people don’t know the word “puke” – I see it used quite a lot in blog posts. “Pash” sounds nice, but is new to me 🙂

Yes, “On Writing” is one of my faves, too. Have you read “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott? That’s inspirational, too.

Good to see you again!

January 14, 2014 at 5:58 pm

Ooh, thanks, I haven’t read that one. Will check it out.

And, yeah I was surprised about those words too. (“Pash” is what a NZ young person might call kissing, more than just a peck. A fun word to use!) Have a great week:)

January 14, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Henneke, I see that asking questions is so important, and I enjoy “talking” to you, answering the questions in your text. I will do it in our next post, thanks for pointing out.

January 14, 2014 at 4:08 pm

Always good to have you around for tea and cake 😉

January 14, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Love this article Henneke! Your drawing is amazing as well. I look forward to seeing more of them 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your tools and knowledge. I especially found the use of question marks very helpful. Conversational copy is something that *seems* like it should be so easy…but it can be hard to retrain ourselves and unlearn what we’ve learned in school. But, we must adapt, right? 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Yes, I think that’s the mistake many people make – conversational copy *seems* easy because it’s so easy to read. But the truth is that it’s damn hard work to eradicate gobbledygook and to make each sentence flow naturally.

Thank you for stopping by, Kristy. I appreciate it! 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 3:32 pm

Hi, Henneke, You write the best emails with great headlines that always make me want to read your posts.

Why don’t you teach a headline class?? Blog post writing class??

I would take it and I’m sure some of your other readers would also! Sue

Hi Sue, thank you so much. Stay tuned – I’m developing a blog writing e-course.

I’m hoping to have an early bird list live before the end of February. 🙂

PS Isn’t it wonderful how two question marks (“??”) indicate a pleasant amount of impatience?

January 14, 2014 at 3:16 pm

I love the idea of adding questions in a blog post to engage the reader even more. Do you think this would apply to product descriptions as well?

January 14, 2014 at 3:17 pm

P.S. Love the illustration!

January 14, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Thank you 🙂

Good to see your (new?) avatar!

January 14, 2014 at 3:23 pm

That’s a good question! You made me think … Most product descriptions might be too short to include questions. Questions might sound unnatural as you don’t have enough time to really start a conversation. But if you write longer product descriptions it can work.

January 14, 2014 at 3:00 pm

A great post. Thank you so much. Loved the *3* essential tools you gave me. I could even ‘hear’ some dialect in your post, eh? Congratulations Henneke!

January 14, 2014 at 3:05 pm

You might be hearing my Dutch accent 😉

I used to be dead-nervous about using “Dutchisms” (phrases inspired by Dutch – my native language) in my blog posts, but I’ve now decided that’s part of my charm.

Thank you, John.

January 14, 2014 at 2:22 pm

H. Passive sentences are some of my challenges. How do you feel about checking your writing via http://www.read-able.com ? Keeps me on my finger tips. sQs Your advocate in Delray Beach FL

January 14, 2014 at 2:36 pm

I haven’t used this particular tool, but I have used the readability stats that Microsoft Word shows (if you tick the right box and do a spelling check). I’ve been a bit sloppier with this recently, but a year ago I would religiously check:

(a) the average number of words per sentence – I would go back to chop up long sentences and tighten my text when my average was over 14 words per sentence

(b) passive sentences – even if I had only 1% of passive sentences, I would try rephrasing the passive sentence. Occasionally I’d be happy to leave a passive sentence.

February 1, 2014 at 1:48 pm

Looks for the word “are” – it is not active. It is sitting on the couch. So are all verbs of “being.” If you catch one, try to change it. Example: “Passive sentences are some of my challenges” is more powerful as, “Passive sentences challenge me.” Whenever you can find the verb form of a noun, use it and remove “is” or “are.” Happy writing!

January 14, 2014 at 12:41 pm

‘Sleazy salesmen use exclamation marks. Good conversationalists use question marks.’ >> That is a world famous quote by Henneke D, did you know that?

January 14, 2014 at 1:20 pm

Somehow it feels like it has taken me a year to write these two sentences. They just clicked into place yesterday. To me they express the essence of good writing.

January 14, 2014 at 1:34 pm

Of effective writing, for sure!

January 14, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Henrietta looks very happy today! :))) Just a question: when you talk about “your favourite reader” why is it a “she”? Is it like boats, planes… and always feminine? Bit confused.

January 14, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I’m not sure who’s happier – Henrietta herself or her dog Arthur? 😉

Your reader can be a “she” or a “he”. It depends on who you like working with most.

January 14, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Truth is… I’m thinking about unsunbscribing from a blog for feeling that they care not for their readers.

The writing is good, so are the ideas — but their emails are nothing but links to the day’s post (ok, not much harm in that), while I see no answers on their blog comments, nor any real interaction on their FB page.

It’s only talk, talk, talk, or rather write-and-post-it, and I even think that even their blog commenters have tailed away lately.

January 14, 2014 at 1:10 pm

Yes, you make an excellent point. Readers can sense it immediately when writers don’t care and when they’re insincere.

January 14, 2014 at 11:59 am

You did it. I’m really waiting for the next slice of your home-made cake. 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 1:03 pm

Thank you, Paul 🙂

Don’t tell anyone, but the truth is that in real life I’m not so good at baking cakes – I prefer cooking a delicious meal!

January 14, 2014 at 11:56 am

Thanks Henneke, another keeper of a blog post. makes a lot of sense. Time for me to head off to the local cafe and write up the first draft of my next newsletter I think… Oh, and really like your illustrations, VERY cute doggie!

January 14, 2014 at 1:00 pm

Yes, that’s a good idea. I’m sure writing in a local cafe can make your content livelier, too!

Thank you for stopping by, Lynne 🙂

January 14, 2014 at 11:31 am

Can’t agree more! This is really good advice. And I love your illustration, Henneke!

January 14, 2014 at 12:56 pm

Thank you, Lucy. The book Leonardo’s Swans sounds interesting!

January 14, 2014 at 10:21 pm

Thank you for the link to the photos, Henneke. I’m feeling super inspired now! Have to do something like this with my paintings.

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Italy, 1952. Photo ©Fondation Henri Cartier-Bresson/Magnum

To converse well

A good conversation bridges the distances between people and imbues life with pleasure and a sense of discovery.

by Paula Marantz Cohen   + BIO

Good conversation mixes opinions, feelings, facts and ideas in an improvisational exchange with one or more individuals in an atmosphere of goodwill. It inspires mutual insight, respect and, most of all, joy. It is a way of relaxing the mind, opening the heart and connecting, authentically, with others. To converse well is surprising, humanising and fun.

Above is my definition of an activity central to my wellbeing. I trace my penchant for good conversation to my family of origin. My parents were loud and opinionated people who interrupted and quarrelled boisterously with each other. I realise that such an environment could give rise to taciturn children who seek quiet above all else. But, for me, this atmosphere was stimulating and joyful. It made my childhood home a place I loved to be.

The bright, ongoing talk that pervaded my growing up was overseen by my mother, a woman of great charm and energy. She was the maestro of the dinner table, unfailingly entertaining and fun. We loved to listen to her tell stories about what happened to her at work. She was a high-school French teacher, a position that afforded a wealth of anecdotes about her students’ misbehaviour, eccentric wardrobe choices, and mistakes in the conjugation of verbs. There were also the intrigues among her colleagues – how I loved being privy to my teachers’ peccadillos and romantic misadventures, an experience that sowed a lifelong scepticism of authority. My mother had the gift of making even the smallest detail of her day vivid and amusing.

My father, by contrast, was a very different kind of talker. A scientist by training and vocation, he had a logical, detached sort of mind, and he liked to discuss ideas. He had theories about things: why people believed in God, the role of advertising in modern life, why women liked jewellery, and so on. I recall how he would clear his throat as a prelude to launching into a new idea: ‘I’ve been thinking about why we eat foods like oysters and lobster, which aren’t very appealing. There must be an evolutionary aspect to why we have learned to like these things.’ Being included in the development of an idea with my father was a deeply bonding experience. The idea of ideas became enormously appealing as a result. And though my father was not an emotional person – and, indeed, because he was not – I associated ideas with our relationship, and they became imbued with feeling.

Perhaps my family was exceptional in its love of conversation, but all families are, to some extent, learning spaces for how to talk. This is the paradox of growing up. Language is learned in the family; it solidifies our place within it, but it also allows us to move beyond it, giving us the tools to widen our experience with people very different from ourselves.

My family inculcated in me a life-long love of conversation – of sprightly, sometimes contentious, but always interesting talk that allowed me to lose myself for the space of that engagement. My pleasure in conversation has led me to think about the activity at length, from both a psychological and philosophical perspective: what makes a good conversation? What role has conversation served in history? What does talk do for us, and how can it ameliorate aspects of our current, divided society, if pursued with vigour and goodwill?

S igmund Freud began his groundbreaking work as the father of psychoanalysis by postulating that his patients’ symptoms were physical responses to traumatic events or taboo desires dating from childhood. He found that if these people could be encouraged to talk without inhibition – to free-associate on what they were feeling – they would eventually find the source of their problems and the cure for what ailed them. With this in view, he made talk central to his therapeutic method – hence, the ‘talking cure’.

Although many of Freud’s theories have since been refuted, the talking cure has endured. Clinical psychologists still recommend talk therapy as a treatment for both generalised anxiety as well as more severe mental health issues. And though Freud’s talking cure is not, by any stretch, a real conversation – the patient talks, the analyst listens and strategically intervenes – the phrase ‘talking cure’ strikes me as a useful one in referring to the nature and use of conversation in our lives.

The need for conversation is one that many people have not fully acknowledged, perhaps because they have not had occasion to do enough of it or to do it well. I am not suggesting that, in conversing, we serve as each other’s therapists, but I do believe that good talk, when carried on with the right degree of openness, can not only be a great pleasure but also do us a great deal of good, both individually and collectively as members of society.

For me, one particularly useful concept derived from Freud’s talking cure is the idea of transference . In the course of therapy, Freud found that some patients felt that they had fallen in love with their therapists. Since he believed that all love relationships recapitulate what occurs within one’s family of origin, he saw these patients’ infatuation as a repetition of earlier, intense feelings for a parent that could now be analysed and controlled – directed toward more productive and transparent ends.

A relationship can be over once consummated in sex. But friendships are never over after a good conversation

I think this idea is relevant to our understanding of conversation as an important activity in connecting with others. Putting aside the familial baggage that Freud saw as accompanying transference, a deep sense of affection seems to be, always, part of good conversation. Surely readers can identify with that welling up of positive feeling – that almost-falling-in-love with someone that we engage with in an authentic way. I have felt this not only for friends and even strangers with whom I’ve had probing conversations but also for whole classes of students where it can seem that the group has merged into one deeply lovable and loving body.

If love can be understood as important in conversation, so can desire, another element central to Freud’s thought. Sexual desire has its consummation in the sex act (a form of closure that accounts for why a poet like John Donne, among others, used ‘death’ to refer to sexual climax). Conversation, by contrast, does not consummate; it merely stops by arbitrary necessity. One may have to get across town for a meeting, pick up a child from school, or generally get on with the business of life. Such endings are in medias res , so to speak, or mid-narrative. I find it interesting that a relationship can sometimes be over once the partners have consummated it in sex. But friendships are never over after a good conversation; they are sustained and bolstered by it.

The search for satisfaction by our desiring self seems to me at the heart of good conversation. We seek to fill the lack in ourselves by engaging with someone who is Other – who comes from another position, another background, another set of experiences. Everyone, when taken in a certain light, is an Other by virtue, if nothing else, of having different DNA. To recognise this difference and welcome it is the premise upon which good conversation is built.

Conversation also helps us deal with the human fear of the unexpected and the changeable. Talk with others allows us to practise uncertainty and open-endedness in a safe environment. It offers exercise in extemporaneity and experiment; it de converts us from rigid and established forms of belief. There is no better antidote for certainty than ongoing conversation with a friend who disagrees .

G ood conversation is an art that can be perfected, and the best way to do this is to converse regularly with a variety of people. As the fat man says to Sam Spade in Dashiell Hammett’s novel The Maltese Falcon (1930): ‘Talking’s something you can’t do judiciously unless you keep in practice.’

The next best thing to practising conversation is reading those authors whose writing seems to channel the spirit of good conversation or give insight into its mechanics.

‘How can life be worth living … which lacks that repose which is to be found in the mutual good will of a friend? What can be more delightful than to have someone to whom you can say everything with the same absolute confidence as yourself’? wrote the lawyer and orator Marcus Tullius Cicero, who lived in ancient Rome in the 1st century BCE.

Expanding on the subject hundreds of years later, in the 16th century, was Michel de Montaigne , whose pioneering work in the personal essay form is, in its intimate and meandering style, a tribute to his love of conversation . ‘[I]f I were now compelled to choose,’ he writes in the essay ‘On the Art of Conversation’, which addresses the subject directly, ‘I should sooner, I think, consent to lose my sight, than my hearing and speech’. One feels the pathos of this statement, given that Montaigne lost his most cherished friend, Étienne de la Boétie, at an early age and never ceased to mourn that loss. Indeed, some feel that the loss of La Boétie, by depriving Montaigne of his companion in conversation, accounts for the Essays , written to fill that void.

The 18th century was a great age of conversation; Samuel Johnson, Jonathan Swift, Oliver Goldsmith, David Hume , Joseph Addison and Henry Fielding are among the venerable authors of the period to provide commentary on what they considered to be important for good talk. The Literary Club in London, frequented by many of these luminaries, is said to have been organised in 1764 to help Johnson from succumbing to depression – through conversation, among other things.

Conversation was one of the activities that an aspiring gentleman was expected to learn

The book The Words That Made Us (2021) by Akhil Reed Amar, on the founders of the American Republic, makes the point that the American Revolution was successful in mobilising disparate people to its cause as a result of long and probing conversations among constituents across the colonies. The British were fated to lose the war, Amar argues, because George III refused to listen, let alone converse with his American subjects.

In the 19th century, especially in the United States where shaping the self alongside shaping the country became something of a national obsession, conversation was one of the activities that an aspiring gentleman was expected to learn. We see publication of numerous etiquette books during this period, with titles like Manners for Men (1897); The Gentleman’s Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness (1860); and Hints on Etiquette and the Usages of Society: With a Glance at Bad Habits (1834) – all of which give guidance on conversation, though mostly of a utilitarian kind.

In the 20th century, the most notable figure in conversational self-help was Dale Carnegie, who created an entire industry out of teaching aspiring social and business climbers based on his most famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936). Carnegie began writing and giving courses in the 1910s, and his business survived him to grow into an empire (‘over 200 offices in 86 countries’, according to Forbes magazine in 2020) with supporting textbooks, online resources, newsletters and blogs that boast the tag line: ‘Training options that transform your impact.’ The message dovetails with the US myth of upward mobility and getting ahead. Carnegie’s self-improvement programmes have an offshoot in the self-realisation movements of the past few decades. A deluge of books in recent years link conversational skills to creative and relationship goals.

Having surveyed the abundant literature on conversation over the past two centuries, I find myself particularly charmed by a short but entertaining work, The Art of Conversation (1936) by Milton Wright. The book is full of citations from philosophy and literature, with thumbnail sketches of the ancient symposia and the ‘talkers of Old England’ while also exhaustively outlining conversational scenarios. In one case, the author describes a wife explaining to her husband how he should converse over dinner with his boss about his love of fishing and pipe smoking (Wright gives a verbatim account of the wife practising the conversation in advance of the dinner). In a chapter on ‘developing repartee’, Wright gives minute instruction on how to come up with a clever thought and insert it into conversation, advising:

It must be prompt. It must seem impromptu. It must be based upon the same premise that called it forth. It must outshine the original remark.

The author advises practising imaginary scenarios so as not to suffer l’esprit d’escalier (carefully defined for the reader: ‘you think of the scintillating remarks you could have made back there if only you had thought of them’). The book has sections on using flattery, seeking an opinion, and how to ‘let him parade his talents’.

The book’s erudition combined with its unadorned acknowledgment of human vanity is charming. It is perhaps no coincidence that Wright reminds me of Baldassare Castiglione and Niccolò Machiavelli in his tone; they too were writing at a high point of their civilisation, were both astute about human nature but optimistic about how the individual could rise through deliberate study and strategy. And yet, even as Wright explains the levers by which one can manipulate others to become a ‘successful’ conversationalist, he ends on a surprisingly moving note that undercuts his own lessons: ‘If … you can forget yourself, then you have learned the innermost secret of the art of good conversation. All the rest is a matter of technique.’

I love this book for its unabashed willingness to put forward this contradiction. One can make one’s conversation better by following certain instructions about listening well and employing choice opening gambits, transitions and techniques for putting one’s partner at ease; one may even practise ‘repartee’. But the secret to conversation, that of forgetting oneself, cannot be taught. It is akin to the double bind that psychologists refer to when someone tells us to ‘be spontaneous’. The admonition goes against the grain of what is involved: a state of being that happens by being swept up in the ‘flow’ of the moment.

I deally, one would want to converse with someone who is open and trusting, curious and good with words. But this is not always the case, and it often takes ingenuity and persistence to jump-start a good conversation . It is also a mistake to write off others simply because they don’t share your politics, religion or superficial values. While it is true that partisanship has become more pronounced in recent years, I don’t think this is irreparable.

Probing and spirited engagement can break apart ossified patterns of thought and bring to bear a more generous and flexible view of things. I have experienced the exhilaration of having an insight in the course of a conversation that didn’t fit with my pre-existing ideas, and of connecting with someone I might otherwise have written off. Most of us fear talking about important subjects with people we know disagree with us, much like we fear talking to people about the untimely death of a loved one. And yet these conversations are often, secretly, what both parties crave.

We discover new elements in our nature as we converse

Finally, there is the creative pleasure of conversation. If writing and speechifying can be equated with sculpture (where one models something through words in solitary space), conversation is more like those team sports where the game proceeds within certain parameters but is unpredictable and reliant on one’s ability to coordinate with another person or persons. Words in conversation can be arranged in infinite ways, but they wait on the response of a partner or partners, making this an improvisational experience partially defined by others and requiring extreme attentiveness to what they say. Also, like sport, conversation requires some degree of practice to do well. The more one converses – and with a variety of people – the better one gets at it and the more pleasure it is likely to bring.

Since conversation is, by definition, improvisational, it is always bringing to the fore new or unforeseen aspects of oneself to fit or counter or complement what the other is saying. In this way, we discover new elements in our nature as we converse. Over time, we incorporate aspects of others into ourselves as well.

One could say that in the flow of conversation the distance between self and Other is temporarily bridged – much as happens in a love relationship. It is sometimes hard to recall who said what when a conversation truly works – even when people are very different and stand ostensibly on different sides of issues.

Conversation is both a function of and a metaphor for our life in the world, always seeking to fulfil a need that is never fulfilled but whose quest gives piquancy and satisfaction, albeit temporarily and incompletely, to our encounters. In good conversation, there is always something left out, unplumbed and unresolved, which is why we seek more of it.

Adapted, in part, from Talking Cure: An Essay on the Civilizing Power of Conversation by Paula Marantz Cohen, published by Princeton University Press, 2023.

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Your high school teacher probably taught you a lot of rules about essay writing. There’s a reason, however, that the essays you wrote in high school probably aren’t very interesting, and it’s not only because they’re mostly about Shakespeare. It’s because they’re written in a formal style. To inject some interest into your essays by writing them in a conversational style -- for the right audience, at the right time -- you may end up breaking a few of the rules your English teacher taught you. Just be sure to match the right tone to the assignment.

Address the Reader

Talk to the reader as if you’re actually talking to the reader. Speak for yourself as the narrator. Instead of writing, “One might argue,” say “I argue.” Instead of writing, “It appears to be the case that the globe is warming,” say, “It looks like the earth’s getting hotter.” This will help bring your reader into the essay with you, and it will give her the sense that she knows you.

Use Contractions

There’s nothing wrong with contractions. They help us take linguistic shortcuts by combining words, which is why we use them all them all the time in daily life. So it’s important to use them in a conversational essay. You don’t want to sound like Data the robot from "Star Trek" -- you want to sound like a real human being. Real human beings say “don’t,” “haven’t,” “let’s” and “I’m,” so use those words when you’re trying to maintain a conversational tone.

Use Interesting Language

Dry language sounds academic to readers, and that can be off-putting. They’ll probably be tempted to flip the page when they read, “The earth’s temperature has risen rather dramatically over the duration of nine years.” On the other hand, they’ll want to hear more of what you have to say when you make a statement like, “The past decade’s been a scorcher.” To keep a reader interested, use language that evokes emotions from your reader.

Use Anecdotes

A writer can use many tools to convince a reader of his position. Quantitative data is an important tool. But stories are important, too, and often they’re more effective. Numbers can never paint a picture as clearly as a well-placed personal anecdote can, and by sharing stories with your reader, you can be both persuasive and interesting.

• Diane Burns: MBA Admissions: Anecdotal Essays

Living in Canada, Andrew Aarons has been writing professionally since 2003. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature from the University of Ottawa, where he served as a writer and editor for the university newspaper. Aarons is also a certified computer-support technician.

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29 ESL Conversation Topics Adult Students Really Enjoy

One key goal almost every adult ESL student shares is  gaining the ability to speak English with others.

What better way to learn to speak English than to speak about the very same things that you speak about on a daily basis ?

ESL speaking activities work even better when someone speaks about their own personal recollections, thoughts and ideas on these topics.

Use these topics and questions to get conversations started!

8. Television

11. first dates, 13. motivation, 19. restaurants, 20. cooking, 22. shopping, 26. learning, 28. computers, 29. problems.

Download: This blog post is available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

Everybody has hobbies, and everybody loves talking about them. Hobbies could be passions too, you know. Some simple questions to ask include:

• What are your hobbies?
• Why do you like your hobbies so much?
• How often do you do these hobbies?
• How long have you been doing these hobbies, and how did you get started?
• What hobbies did you used to have, but now do not?
• Is it important to have hobbies? Why/why not?

Lots of people work and have lots to say about it. I mean, if you’re spending about a third of your waking hours at work, you may have lots to say.

Some good questions are:

• What work do/did you do?
• Do/did like your job? Why or why not?
• What is your dream job?
• What work is common in your city/area/country?
• What is your general view about work? Why?

Food is possibly the most universal topic of them all and everyone loves to discuss what they eat. Food-themed ESL activities are always a hit with students.

This is also an ideal topic for beginners because the vocabulary is usually pretty simple. You could use questions like:

• What is your favorite food? Why?
• What food do you eat a lot?
• What food comes from your country?
• How do you feel when you eat food?
• What foods do you dislike? Why?
• Where do you usually get food from?

This is a topic that many people get very excited about. If someone is passionate or emotional about a topic, they can be more motivated to speak and understand things related to it.

A few good example questions are:

• Do you like sports? Why/why not?
• How often do you exercise/play sports?
• Did you play any sports as a child?
• What sport/physical activity is popular in your country?
• What is your opinion on professional sports?

As people get older, their perceived value of time increases, so it’s a practical topic that everyone has something to say about.

You could ask questions like:

• How much free time do you usually have?
• How important is time to you?
• If you had more free time, what would you do?
• “Time is money.” Do you agree or disagree? Why?
• How do you feel about time that is wasted?

As people get older, they start to appreciate a good night’s sleep more and more. This topic is often a favorite.

Some example questions are:

• How much sleep do you usually get?
• Why do some people sleep well while other people do not sleep well?
• What do you do when you have trouble sleeping?
• What time do you usually go to sleep? What time do you usually get up?
• Have you ever slept in a strange place that was not a bed?

Everybody loves music and most people feel very strong emotions toward it—especially when it comes to the music that they love (or hate) most. Some simple questions to ask could be:

• What types of music do you like/dislike?
• How do certain kinds of music make you feel?
• What types of music come from your country?
• What’s your favorite song/album/artist?
• What music is popular in your country right now?

Listening to music with English lyrics can be fun and engaging activity that can also start conversations.

Watching music videos with subtitles will help students remember the vocabulary they hear in a song.

Television is one of those topics that everyone has an opinion about.

TV will enable you to showcase native English forms and provide some great context before diving into discussion questions. Good questions include:

• How often do you watch TV?
• Should everyone have a television in their home?
• What is the best way to watch television: On a television set, computer, tablet or phone?
• What television programs are popular in your country?
• What do you think will be the future of television?
• What is your opinion on television?
• If you had your own TV show, what would it be like?

If your students enjoy learning from TV and other native content, you can try a media-focused resource like FluentU .

This website and app teaches English with authentic videos, including clips from TV shows, news segments and commercials.

The video dictionary also links to other videos that use the word for additional context. Students can also take quizzes based on the videos and their flashcard learning.

The pop-culture content on FluentU is more interesting to students than more traditional materials, and it increases the motivation to understand the dialogue.

Authentic media lets students hear English the way native speakers use it and helps them recall the meanings of words better by creating memorable associations with stories and characters.

The FluentU program is available both for schools and for individual learners .

Like television, movies are a popular conversation topic. I mean, who doesn’t watch movies? A few good questions to be asked could be:

• What was the last movie you saw? How was it?
• What is your favorite movie? Why?
• How are the movies in your country? What are the best ones?
• How often do you watch movies in English?
• If there were a movie about your life, what kind of movie would it be? Why?

Travel can be a great discussion topic – it encourages storytelling in the past tense and inspires students to talk about culture and similar topics.

Here are some possible questions:

• Where have you traveled?
• What countries have you been to?
• Where would you like to travel to in the future?
• When you travel, what safety precautions do you take?
• Do you like to prepare a lot before you travel, or just wing it?
• What are some cultural issues that you have experienced while traveling? Do you have any funny or embarrassing stories?

Talking about first dates gets everybody interested. We’ve all been there.

• How many first dates have you had?
• How do you feel about first dates?
• What is a common first date like in your country?
• What is the best/worst first date experience you’ve ever had?
• What makes a good first date in your opinion?

Everyone feels a certain way about risk. Some are risk-oriented, others are risk-averse. Talking about risks seems to generate some good conversation. You could ask questions like:

• What is your definition of risk?
• Are you a risk taker? Why/why not?
• What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks?
• What risks do you come across in your work/life?
• What risks have you taken in your life?

Whether or not the students are a motivated bunch, motivation is a good topic to discuss in order to inspire your students.

• How motivated are you in general?
• What motivates you to do things?
• What is the best motivator to succeed?
• What do you do when you feel unmotivated?
• What is a good way to motivate others?

Anyone can appreciate beauty in all its forms, and anyone can recognize the importance of the concept of beauty in our cultures, societies and behaviors.

This makes it a good topic to discuss to get some opinions and various views within a group.

• What is “beauty”?
• What/who do you consider beautiful?
• What does “inner beauty” mean to you?
• Do you consider artificial beauty (cosmetic surgery) to still be beauty? Why/why not?
• How do you feel about the emphasis that people put on beauty these days?
• What would you tell your children about beauty?

Crime may not be on the top of people’s lists of favorite topics but it’s something that’s talked about.

Depending on someone’s life experiences, it may be something that has affected their lives. Learning to discuss it could help in the long run.

Good discussion questions are:

• Is crime a big problem in your city/country?
• Have you ever been a victim of crime?
• What crime is common in your city/country?
• What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed?
• How is the law enforcement in your city/country?

Most people have had some firsthand experience with love that they’d like to talk about. It’s another one of those universal topics that gets the conversation going.

Even if it’s not about romantic love and heartbreak, students can talk about familial love with their parents and children, as well as love between friends.

Questions like these are good:

• What is love?
• Who/what do you love?
• What good/bad experiences have you had with love?
• Can you be too young to be in love? Why/why not?
• How do you feel about love?

We all have goals and talking about them actually gets us more encouraged to do something about them. Sharing goals is also a good way to help get them achieved.

A good set of questions is:

• What are your current goals in life?
• How do you plan to reach your goals?
• How often do you set goals for yourself?
• What goals have you set and achieved in the past?
• How do you feel when you reach your goals?

We all have dreams, sometimes on a nightly basis, and they can make for a great discussion topic as it inspires students to be creative and even whimsical.

Great questions for this topic include:

• What kinds of dreams do you have?
• What do you think dreams mean?
• How much of your dreams do you remember? Why?
• What is your opinion on premonitions? Are they real?
• What are examples of memorable dreams you have had?

Along with eating, people love talking about their favorite eateries and restaurants. Some students might even relate to each other with their choices and views.

Good questions include:

• How often do you go to restaurants?
• What is your favorite restaurant? Why?
• What do you usually order at a restaurant?
• What is the restaurant experience like in your country?
• Have you ever worked in a restaurant?
• If you owned a restaurant, what kinds of food would you serve?

Cooking is another topic that may allow for some good conversation. Most people in most countries do a good amount of cooking.

A few good questions could be:

• In your home, who usually cooks?
• How often do you cook?
• How well do you cook? What can you cook well?
• What are the advantages/disadvantages of cooking?
• What food would you like to learn how to cook?

Recipes can be a fun way to introduce students to assorted cooking vocabulary and phrases. And in addition to written recipes, there are tons of recipe videos on the web if you want to work on listening comprehension as well.

FluentU has lots of videos about food and cuisine, as well as several captioned recipe videos.

If there is one topic that affects everyone, it has to be money. People love talking about money.

Well, they may not if they’re broke—but even then it’s a relatable topic that gets conversations going.

Great questions include:

• How well do you manage your money?
• Why do some people have money problems?
• What are some good ways to make money?
• What would you do if I gave you $20/$2,000/$2,000,000?
• How often do you save money? Why?

This one is a personal favorite for many. Shopping just brings out the zest in some people.

Others feel strongly the other way—very few people are completely neutral on this topic.

A few good questions are:

• Do you enjoy shopping? Why/why not?
• What is your favorite shop? Why?
• In your city, where is a good place to go shopping?
• How do you feel about online shopping?
• What do you think shopping will be like in the future?

Everybody makes plans and discussing them could even influence the class to start making plans of their own! A few example questions include:

• How often do you plan things? Why?
• What are your plans for (________)?
• What are your plans for your English?
• What do you think of this quote? “Having no plan is a plan to fail.”
• Do you have any back-up plans?

Books make for a good conversation topic because most people enjoy a good book.

When you read, your mind is filled with new images, feelings, ideas and thoughts. It can be immensely satisfying for someone to share how they feel about reading.

Some questions to ask are:

• Do you like books/reading? Why/why not?
• What kind of books do/did you like?
• What is your favorite book? Why?
• What was the last book you read?
• Do you believe reading books/literature is more important than reading stuff online? Why/why not?

Life discussions go on in all languages and English is no exception.

Life is a good topic since everyone has their own views and thoughts on this universal subject.

You could bring up questions like:

• What is the meaning of life?
• How is your life going up to this point?
• What do you think happens after death?
• What important life lessons have you learned?
•  If tomorrow was your last day to live, what would you do?

Learning is like nature—it’s all around us, even on a subconscious level. Our brains are built to absorb, filter and store information.

A conversation about learning could actually stimulate some English learning!

A few questions that are suitable are:

• How important is learning? Why?
• Besides English, what are you currently learning?
• What things are you good/bad at learning? Why?
• What would you most like to learn?
• What is the most difficult part of learning? Why?

Games are fun and everybody enjoys fun, no?

But in all seriousness, talking about games tends to gear the conversation more toward past tense, which can bring students a fond sense of nostalgia.

Some simple questions could be:

• What is your favorite game ever?
• What games did you play as a kid?
• What games are popular/came from your country?
• How competitive are you when it comes to games?
• What games do you still play now? Why?

It’s hard to go a day without talking about computers. This universal topic could have students discussing quite a few things, much of which could relate to real life too!

Great questions on this could be:

• Describe your computer at home/work.
• What do you usually use a computer for?
• Do you like computers? Why/why not?
• What was the first computer you ever had like?
• What do you think will be the future of computers?

Even though nobody likes to talk about problems per se, everybody still talks about their problems to other people!

Problems are actually a good topic for discussion since they could help others relate to each other and even present solutions too.

A few fine examples of questions are:

• How do you deal with your problems?
• What problems do you come across in your work or life?
• Do you feel that problems are opportunities? Why or why not?
• What was the last problem you solved and how did you do it?
• “Problems don’t matter. Solutions do.” Do you agree or disagree?

Discussion questions like the ones above—questions about everyday things—work well because they really get the brain thinking.

These topics relate directly to students on a familiar level and can even spark some fascinating discussions.

You could even mix up the example questions any way you’d like.

These topics may even inspire you to come up with some of your own, as you begin to understand what works and what doesn’t.

Happy discussing!

For more tips, check out this post next: 

Wondering how to teach ESL to adults? While your lessons might be a bit less chaotic than with younger students, they don’t have to be dull or boring. Everyone enjoys…

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• English levels
• Improve your English level

How to improve your English speaking

Are you looking for ways to develop your English speaking skills? Here are four tips to improve your fluency, pronunciation, accuracy and conversation skills.

If you're looking for ways to improve your spoken communication in English, you're not alone. 

'How can I improve my English speaking skills?' is one of the most popular questions we get asked. 

So here's what everyone wants to know. Read on for four tips to improve your fluency, pronunciation, accuracy and conversation skills in English.

Speak English to practise and improve

Speaking a language is a skill, like driving a car, playing a musical instrument or learning to swim. 

To be a good driver, you need to practise driving. You can read a book about car mechanics. You can study the rules of the road. But nothing is as good for your driving as spending time behind the wheel of a car, actually driving.

It's the same with speaking English. No matter how much you study grammar and vocabulary, if you don't practise spoken communication, it's very difficult to get good at it. 

So maybe you talk to yourself in English as you go about your day. Or maybe you look for opportunities to chat in English with people you meet. But however you do it, the most powerful way to improve your English speaking skills is to use them. 

Find people to talk to

OK, so you want to practise, but who can you speak English with? 

Do you know anybody in your network who speaks English? Maybe you have friends or colleagues at work that you can speak English with. 

If not, look for 'meetups', social events for people interested in practising languages. Or what about a language exchange? You find someone who is learning your language, and in exchange they speak to you in English. A language exchange app can also be a great way to find a conversation partner. (Remember to stay safe when connecting with new people in person or online.)

Practising English socially is fun! You get to know new people. You use your English for real communication. You adapt to each other's level and direct your own learning.

All this means you learn the skills and language you need fast. And you don't forget them.

Record yourself speaking

Listening to a recording of your own voice can feel strange. Especially talking in English.

But, once you get used to it, recording yourself speaking can be a powerful tool for improvement.

The big thing it helps is confidence. I bet you, the first thing you notice when you listen back is that you speak English better than you thought!

Another thing is pronunciation, or just feeling the words in your mouth. Speaking a foreign language is a physical workout for your mouth, and you want to get in the gym!

You're also practising fluency. Next time you have to talk about that same topic, the ideas and words will flow more easily.

By training yourself to notice and correct mistakes, you'll improve your accuracy too.

Work on your listening skills

Watching series and films in English, or listening to audio designed for your level, is great for your pronunciation and intonation. 

Listening to English is also a good way to notice how grammar is used or to pick up new words and phrases.

But not only all of that! 

Here's the big one. 

Being a good listener is a really important part of a good conversation. We often forget this when we're concentrating on what we're going to say.

You don't even need to be that good at speaking English. If you can listen, understand and show interest, people will absolutely love talking to you.

And that means more English speaking practice, more opportunities to improve your speaking and more of that lovely, warm feeling that happens when you use your English to connect with someone.

Enjoy improving your spoken communication in English! Choose one tip from this article and start improving your English speaking skills right away.

How confident do you feel about speaking English?

i want to learn and speak fluently i do not know anything about this language is there anyone who can help me

• Log in or register to post comments

My speech is a work in progress, and I'm eager to enhance my English . I aspire to speak fluently without self-doubt in front of others. Any guidance or learning resources would be greatly appreciated. I believe that having a supportive friend to practice with will be incredibly beneficial in my quest to speak English fluently without doubting myself.

Hi FayAriff,

The best way to practise speaking is, of course, to speak with others so see if there is a group you can participate in where you live. Simply meeting up socially and making English the language of the evening is a good way to develop fluency and confidence.

Listening is also a good way to improve speaking. Hearing natural speech will help you to develop a sense of English's rhythm and cadence, as well as its sounds. As you listen to recordings, you can try to speak along with them if you have a transcript. This will help to to learn the speed and rhythm of natural speech, where to pause and where to speed up, where to place stress and how to modulate your voice in terms of intonation. The recordings on our video and audio pages have transcripts which you can use for this:

https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/general-english/video-zone

https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/general-english/audio-zone

Finally, a good way to develop confidence and fluency by yourself is to reply to what you hear when listening to the radio or TV, or what you see or hear online. As you listen to a radio show or a news broadcast, for example, try commenting in English in real time, even if the original show is in your own language. It's a great way to develop speed and confidence. I used to direct my comments at my cat when I was learning a language. I'd listen to the radio and comment to the cat (who was very patient), and in this way I could practise the language for hours alone at home. It didn't teach me any new grammar or vocabulary but I because very fluent and very confident in speaking - so much so that people assumed I was much better than I was when they heard me speak.

I hope those tips are useful.

The LearnEnglish Team

The information on how you can develop the ability to speak is very interesting and I totally agree that the most important thing is to practice it and that it is better with a native speaker, so you can tell if you have assertive communication. . It's a bit difficult for me to understand the jokes, some phrases like in Spanish have different connotations like "spill the beans" which you actually use when you want someone to tell you everything they gossip about. I think the idioms are infinite to memorize them all but as I already mentioned it is very important to practice it as long as possible, in my opinion the best way is to speak it to survive.

Yes I am interested

am here to learn fluent in English

Hey i wanna connect to someone who would love to learn speaking english

Hi bhuvangour,

Just a reminder that sharing personal contact details is not allowed in our  House rules (linked) . However, you are very welcome to interact with other people by posting messages and replying to comments here on this site. Thanks!

LearnEnglish team

Hy please connect with me.

Hi women45,

Online courses

Group and one-to-one classes with expert teachers.

Learn English in your own time, at your own pace.

One-to-one sessions focused on a personal plan.

Get the score you need with private and group classes.  

Daily English Conversation Practice – Questions and Answers by Topic

You have troubles making real English conversations ? You want to improve your Spoken English quickly? You are too busy to join in any English speaking course?

Don’t worry. Let us help you.

First of all, you need to learn the most frequently used words in English , common structures and sentence patterns , common expressions , common phrasal verbs , and idioms that are much used in daily life.

Next, you should learn daily conversations in English for speaking. Focus on every ESL conversation topic until you can speak English automatically and fluently on that topic before moving to the next one.

The following lessons cover 75 topics that you will face very often in your daily life. Each lesson is designed in form of ESL conversation questions and answers, followed by REAL English conversation audios, which will definitely benefit your English conversation practice.

ESL Conversation Questions and Answers – 75 Topics

1. Family 2. Restaurant 3. Books 4. Travel 5. Website 6. Accident 7. Childhood memory 8. Favorite rooms 9. Presents 10. Historical place 11. Newspaper/ Magazine 12. A memorable event 13. A favorite subject 14. A museum 15. A favorite movie 16. A foreign country 17. Parties 18. A teacher 19. A friend 20. A hotel 21. A letter 22. Hobbies 23. Music 24. Shopping 25. Holiday

26.  Animals 27.  A practical skill 28.  Sport 29.  A School 30.  Festival 31.  Food 32.  Household appliance 33.  A music band 34.  Weather 35.  Neighbor 36.  Natural scenery 37.  Outdoor activities 38.  Law 39.  Pollution 40.  Traffic jam 41.  TV program 42.  Architect/ Building 43. Electronic Media 44. Job/ Career 45. Competition/ contest 46. A garden 47. Hometown 48. Clothing 49. Advertisement 50. A project

51. A wedding 52. A Coffee shop 53. Culture 54. Transport 55. Politician 56. Communication 57. Business 58. Computer 59. Exercise 60. Goal/ ambition 61. Art 62. Fashion 63. Jewelry 64.  Cosmetic 65. Indoor Game 66. Phone conversation 67. Learning A Second language 68. A Creative Person 69. A celebrity 70. A Health Problem 71. Technological advancements 72. A Landmark 73. Handcraft Items 74. Plastic Surgery 75. Success

Download Full Lessons Package – Daily English Conversation by Topic (mp3+pdf)

Listening is THE KEY to better English speaking . The more REAL English conversations you listen to, the more fluent you will become, to be sure.

For a small one-time investment, you can get the whole package of 75 lessons. Put it into your phone or MP3 Player and take your English learning ANYWHERE.

You can learn English on the bus while going to work. You can learn English while exercising or walking. You can learn English while shopping. You can learn English while sitting at a coffee shop, etc.

Remember, DEEP LEARNING is the No. 1 secret to English fluency . If you want to speak English fluently and automatically, you have to repeat the same lesson over and over again until you MASTER it.

WHAT YOU WILL GET:

• 75 mp3 files for 75 lessons (each lesson lasts for 1 -2 minutes).
• 1 pdf file for lesson transcript (79 pages).

Take advantage of your short free time during the day to do a lot of repetition, and you will be amazed at how fast your English speaking improves . Get started today!

P/S: If you want to download more lesson packages with a discounted price, check out 0ur Resources Page here .

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• 101 English Conversations
• English Tips
• Improve Your English
• 120 Common English Phrases
• Mistakes in english
• Tools for Learning English
• English for Work
• English Grammar
• English Conversations in Real Life
• American English Conversations (Video)
• Everyday Conversation: 100 Topics
• English Listening
• English Writing
• English Idioms
• Elementary Level
• Intermediate Level
• Advanced Level
• Synonyms and Antonyms Dictionary
• Academic Words
• CNN Student News
• Holidays Worldwide
• American Life

Today, we would like to share with you the 100 Basic English conversations . The topics level for English beginners. If you are a newbie in learning English, they are suitable for you. And as I mentioned in some articles, practicing with conversation is one of the best methods to improve your English.  The following lessons cover 100 daily topics that you will speak about in your daily life. 

40 English Conversations 

Let’s get started!

• Lesson 1: Where are you from?
• Lesson 2: Do you speak English?
• Lesson 3: What is your name?
• Lesson 4: Asking for directions
• Lesson 5: I’m Hungry
• Lesson 6: Do you want something to drink?
• Lesson 7: That’s too late!
• Lesson 8: Choosing a time to meet
• Lesson 9: When do you want to go?
• Lesson 10: Ordering Food
• Lesson 11: Now or Later?
• Lesson 12: Do you have enough money?
• Lesson 13: How have you been?
• Lesson 14: Introduce a Friend
• Lesson 15: Buying a Shirt
• Lesson 16: Asking about Location
• Lesson 17: Do you know the address?
• Lesson 18: Vacation to Canada
• Lesson 19: Who is that Woman?
• Lesson 20: Common Questions
• Lesson 21: The Supermarket is closed
• Lesson 22: Do you have any Children?
• Lesson 23: Help with Pronunciation
• Lesson 24: I lost My Watllet
• Lesson 25: Phone Call At Work
• Lesson 26: Family Trip
• Lesson 27: I Went Shopping
• Lesson 27: What kind of Music do you like
• Lesson 29: Going to the Library
• Lesson 30: Where do your Parents live?
• Lesson 31: Can you help me find a new thing?
• Lesson 32: Paying for Dinner
• Lesson 33: Buying a plane ticket
• Lesson 34: Putting things in order
• Lesson 35: At the Restaurant
• Lesson 36: I need to do laundry
• Lesson 37: Finding a convenience Store
• Lesson 38: Geography and Direction
• Lesson 39: I ate at the Hotel
• Lesson 40: Going to the Movies
• Lesson 41: I need to do laundry
• Lesson 42: Helping a friend move
• Lesson 43: Visiting Family
• Lesson 44: Looking at Vacation Pictures
• Lesson 45: Ordering Flowers
• Lesson 46: Leaving a Message
• Lesson 47: Talking about the Weather
• Lesson 48: Making Plans
• Lesson 49: Meeting a Friend
• Lesson 50: I’m Student
• Lesson 51: Studying for exams
• Lesson 52: Did you get my message
• Lesson 53: Mail
• Lesson 54: I have a cold
• Lesson 55: Dinner invitation
• Lesson 56: Send me the directions
• Lesson 57: Bad cell phone reception
• Lesson 58: Going to the gym
• Lesson 59: Car accident
• Lesson 60: Doctor’s visit
• Lesson: 61: Doctor’s visit
• Lesson: 62: Making a hotel reservation
• Lesson: 63: I changed my mind
• Lesson: 64: Do you want to play a game
• Lesson: 65: Birthday present
• Lesson: 66: Checking into a hotel
• Lesson: 67: Sending a package
• Lesson: 68: I have allergies
• Lesson: 69: Josh works at a software company
• Lesson: 70: Listening to music
• Lesson 71: Taking a taxi
• Lesson 72: We’re not lost
• Lesson 73: Help me find my purse
• Lesson 74: Taking pictures
• Lesson 75: I dropped your calculator
• Lesson 76: I brought you an apple
• Lesson 77: My mother-in-law is coming tomorrow
• Lesson 78: Jim canceled the meeting
• Lesson 79: Bill got fired
• Lesson 80: Nervous about surgery
• Lesson 81: A romantic story
• Lesson 82: Worried about dad
• Lesson 83: I’m getting fat
• Lesson 84: I’ll take you to work
• Lesson 85: Snowing outside
• Lesson 86: Missed call
• Lesson 87: Shopping for a friend
• Lesson 88: What is your major
• Lesson 89: New apartment
• Lesson 90: Have you found a girlfriend yet
• Lesson 91: Computer problems
• Lesson 92: Do you know how to get downtown
• Lesson 93: Did you see the news today
• Lesson 94: What’s your favorite sport
• Lesson 95: Making a webpage
• Lesson 96: Would you mind driving
• Lesson 97: Your English is so good
• Lesson 98: Gifts
• Lesson 99: Election
• Lesson 100: Book club

101 English Conversations: English Speaking Practice with Conversation in 3 Steps

How to practice English speaking on your own and at Home?

I’m sure that you often look up this keyword on Google search “ English speaking practice “, “ How to practice English speaking “, “ English Speaking Tips “, or “ how to improve speaking skill “…to find out a suitable method for your own. Today, I’m very happy to share with you  5 simple ways to practice speaking at home…

Read more: How to practice English speaking on your own

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If you need professional help with English essay writing, please visit smart essay writing service – its team of pro academic writers will assist you online.

Other English Conversations in Real Life: https://helenadailyenglish.com/english-conversations-in-real-life-with-common-phrases-meaning-example

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• Intermediate
• All Conversation Types Case Studies  (1) Reading  (3) Vocabulary  (79) Grammar  (1) Idioms and Phrases  (1) Videos  (2)
• All Topics Animals  (2) Books  (1) Business  (16) Children  (4) Education  (8) Entertainment  (1) Environment  (1) Exercise  (1) Family  (3) Food and Drink  (1) Health  (7) History  (1) Internet  (9) Languages  (1) Law and Order  (14) Leisure  (3) Life  (22) Money  (8) Movies  (1) Politics  (16) Random  (5) Relationships  (1) Religion  (1) Technology  (4) Shopping  (2) Spirituality  (2) Work  (13)
• All Levels Beginner  (55) Intermediate  (267) Advanced  (87)

Urban Gardening

Government Propaganda

Prostitution

Planet of The Apes

Affirmative Action

Overpopulation

Ethical Discussions

Unusual Conversation Questions

Procrastination

Unemployment Benefits

Raising Finance

Cultural Awareness

Student Loans

The Digital Workplace

Negative Questions

The Stress of Gen Z

Mugged at Knifepoint

Ponzi Scheme

Milk It Dry!

Florida’s School Book Ban

English Texts for Beginners

English texts for beginners to practice reading and comprehension online and for free. Practicing your comprehension of written English will both improve your vocabulary and understanding of grammar and word order. The texts below are designed to help you develop while giving you an instant evaluation of your progress.

Prepared by experienced English teachers, the texts, articles and conversations are brief and appropriate to your level of proficiency. Take the multiple-choice quiz following each text, and you'll get the results immediately. You will feel both challenged and accomplished! You can even download (as PDF) and print the texts and exercises. It's enjoyable, fun and free. Good luck!

• Wedding Wishes PREMIUM ? »
• Countries and Nationalities PREMIUM My workday starts at seven. ? »

150 ESL Conversation Starters and Questions (The Essential List)

Do you want your students to be excited to speak with you in English?

Do you want to make sure you always know where the conversation is going and what to say next?

You need engaging content, interesting conversation starters, and questions that really reel them in.

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This list of 150 ESL conversation starters will give you everything you need to make sure you always have something interesting to talk about and never run out of things to say!

Why Every Teacher Needs a List of Starters

Conversation topics for adults and teens, conversation topics for kids, conversation topics for beginners, weird and funny conversation starters, controversial conversations topics, additional tips for your conversation lessons, final thoughts.

If you want to improve your student’s speaking ability you need to master the art of conversation. You need to know how to get your students speaking , move the conversation forward, provide feedback and make it all feel natural. You also need engaging topics and that is where this guide comes in.

One of the problems that can face a teacher is knowing what to talk about. What do you do when you’ve finished talking about work, the weather and then realise that only 5 minutes have passed!

This guide has everything you need to make sure you never run out of topics and most importantly you always have something interesting to say.

It is a good idea to pick a particular topic for a class (or even have your student pick if you want more engagement from them). Once you have that topic then move through the questions, trying to get as much from each one as possible. 

Browse our ESL teacher resources section for more tips and printable lesson materials.

Adults and teens usually know more about advanced topics than children (politics, religion, etc.) That being said, knowing more on these topics doesn’t necessarily translate to being able to speak about these things easily so don’t assume they can do everything. Be aware of your student’s level and be prepared to reframe a question if they are struggling to understand. 

• Where do you work?
• Do you enjoy your job?
• Do you use English for your job?
• Tell me about your last job.
• What do you think is the most difficult job in the world?
• What do you think is the easiest job in the world?
• Where would you work if you could pick any job?
• Would you still work if you won the lottery?
• Do you think robots will replace all of the jobs in the future?
• Which kind of job should have the highest salary?

In this post, you’ll get 20 topics and activities for Business English lessons.

• Do you listen to music?
• When did you start listening to music?
• Do you play a musical instrument?
• What do you think the future of music will be like?
• If you could meet any musician, who would it be?
• Why do people like music?
• If you could erase a musical genre, which would it be?
• Do you think musical success comes from working hard or luck?
• What was the first album you bought?
• Have you ever downloaded music illegally?
• What is a holiday?
• Do you often go on holiday?
• Where did you last go on holiday?
• Where would you like to go on holiday next?
• Do you prefer relaxing or having an adventure on your holiday?
• Is it weird to go on holiday by yourself?
• What is the best food you’ve eaten while on holiday?
• Can you imagine what holidays 500 years ago were like?
• Would you like to go on holiday to space?
• What do you think the future of the holidays will be like?
• What is technology?
• What do you think of when you hear the word ‘technology’?
• How has technology changed in the past?
• How has technology changed your life?
• Could you live without technology?
• Find the full list of technology questions here

In order to engage a child in conversation, you have to enter their world. What is fun for them? What do they like to do? Using words/phrases like “wow”, “That sounds tasty”, “Awesome” can show you are listening to them and make things more fun which will get them saying more!

• Do you have a pet?
• What do you think pets do in the day?
• What do pets eat?
• Are cats better or dogs?
• What is the best name for a pet?
• Would you like a pet spider?
• Would you like to be an animal? Which one?
• Why do we have pets?
• Do you prefer cute or fun pets?
• What is the best present for a pet?
• Do you like school?
• What is your favourite subject?
• What is your least favourite subject?
• Who is your favourite teacher?
• Why do people have to go to school?
• Do you like homework?
• What would you do if you were the headteacher?
• How could schools be more fun?
• How long are the summer holidays?
• Can you learn and have fun at the same time?
• What is your favourite movie?
• Who is your favourite character?
• Who is your least favourite character?
• Do you like disney movies?
• What was the last movie you saw at the cinema?
• How often do you watch movies?
• Do you wish you could live in a movie?
• Why do you watch movies?
• Do you prefer reading books or movies?
• Do you watch any movies in English?

Keeping the topics simple for beginners is a must at the start. Talking about their hobbies and family can help as these are areas they may have already experience in talking about. If a student is really struggling then giving them phrases to use such as “I like …” can help get the ball rolling.

• What do you like to do?
• Do you do any sports?
• What types of movie do you like?
• Do you play video games?
• What do you usually do with friends?
• Is learning English a hobby or work?
• Do you have any unusual hobbies?
• Do you have enough time for your hobbies?
• What is a common hobby?
• What do you think is a boring hobby?
• Do you live with your family?
• How many people are in your family?
• Are you close with your family?
• How often do you see your family?
• What do you do with your family when you see them?
• Is your family important to you?
• Which is more important, friends or family?
• Who is the weirdest person in your family?
• Are families less important nowadays than in the past?
• What would happen if we didn’t have families?
• Where do you live?
• What is there to do in your city?
• What is your place like?
• What is your neighbourhood like?
• Are there any parks near where you live?
• Have you ever lived elsewhere?
• How many rooms does your place have?
• If you moved, where would you like to live?
• Would you prefer to live in the city or country?
• Would you like to live abroad?

Use information gap activities to help your students practice speaking: read our guide.

Nobody wants to speak about the same mundane topics, especially if they’re an advanced student. Being able to mix it up is a great attribute to have as a teacher. Not only will you have memorable lessons with these conversation starters but it will really test the ability of the students to think about topics they aren’t used to (instead of rolling off easy answers about familiar topics.)

Zombie Apocalypse Plan

• What is your zombie apocalypse plan?
• Who would you take with you?
• What would be your weapon of choice?
• What would you do if a friend got bitten by a zombie?
• What would you do if you got bitten by a zombie?
• What food would you take with you?
• Do you think governments should have a zombie apocalypse plan?
• Do you think everyone should have a zombie apocalypse plan?
• Is a zombie outbreak a likely scenario?
• Why do you think there are so many movies and TV series based on zombies?

Superpowers

• If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
• What do you think is the weirdest superpower in comic books?
• Are some superpowers too powerful?
• Would you like a superpower where you could turn things into gold by touching them?
• What is the weakest superpower in a comic book?
• Have we already seen every kind of superpower possible in a comic book?
• Are there some people in the real world that have superpowers? (doctors etc)
• Would you like a superpower where you could turn things into chocolate?
• Would it be better to be super strong or super smart?
• Would you like the power to travel through time?
• If you were granted 3 wishes what would they be?
• Is wishing for more wishes cheating?
• Should there be any other rules for people granted wishes?
• Have you seen any movies with a magic lamp?
• Do you think there is a better object that could house a genie?
• Why are we interested in stories of people having wishes?
• Have any of your wishes come true in real life?
• Do you make a wish when you blow out the candles on a cake?
• Is it bad luck to tell someone what your wish is when blowing out the candles?
• What other ways do people make wishes?

These are topics that you need to be careful with and use your judgement based on the student’s background. You need to wait until you know a student to find out what material is appropriate for them. That being said, If used correctly, then these can be really interesting and get the student thinking about “real issues”. 

Death Penalty

• What do you think about the death penalty?
• Do you know which countries still use the death penalty?
• Why do you think some countries use the death penalty?
• Do you know of any famous executions?
• Should the death penalty be outlawed?
• If we removed the death penalty then what punishment should replace it?
• What is the most humane form of execution?
• What would your “last meal” be?
• Does the fear of the death penalty reduce crime?
• How has execution changed over the years?
• What is abortion?
• Should abortion be legal?
• Why do you think some people are “pro choice”?
• Why do you think some people are “pro life”?
• What do you think of abortion in cases where the baby was conceived due to rape?
• What do you think of abortion in cases where the Mother’s life is in danger (due to being pregnant)?
• Should the father “get a say” in the matter of abortion?
• What advice would you give to a family member who was thinking of getting an abortion?
• Should people be allowed to protest against abortion?
• What do you think the future laws on abortion will be?
• What is corruption?
• Is there corruption in your country?
• Why does corruption exist?
• Would you consider taking a bribe?
• Would you consider offering a bribe?
• Are some types of corruption better than others?
• Which countries have the most corruption?
• Which countries have the least corruption?
• Are there any stories of corruption that you can remember?
• Is it possible to get rid of corruption entirely?

Get a list of 110 “Would you rather” questions for your conversation lessons.

Here are some additional tips to make sure your students are getting the most out of their conversation lessons and will be excited about coming back for more. Some of these will take time to internalize and get right but be aware of them and experiment to get them just right.

Don’t feel like you have to stick rigidly to the list of conversation starters. If a question takes you down a different conversational thread then go with it. The important thing is that the student is talking, you can always return to “the script” later.

Correcting a student immediately can often be useful, but in conversation, it can really kill the flow as well as a student’s confidence if done too often. A good idea is to make notes of any major problems and then mention them after a particular section instead. On top of this, try not to interrupt a student once they are speaking. For each answer, try to milk everything out of them that you can before you have “your turn to speak”.

As well as the frequency of correction, consider the amount being corrected. Don’t feel like you have to correct EVERYTHING. Especially if a student is starting out and is a bit nervous. Pick a few problems areas and focus on that, if you mention too many things at once it can be overwhelming and can really lower a student’s confidence.

Be strict when a student gives you short answers. If a student gives you an answer like “yes” then force more out of them with “yes… because” or “no… but”. The idea is to get them using the language more.

Try to inject some personality when using these ESL conversation topics. It should feel more like a conversation rather than a robot giving an interview.

Some students will struggle with certain subjects as they just don’t know enough about the topic. If it’s a bit of a challenge then push through but if they can’t even talk about a topic in their native language then it may be an idea to move on to another subject.

Allowing a student to pick a topic can be a great way of engaging them more. This also has the added benefit of helping a younger student (such as a teenager) feel more empowered as they can make their own decisions.

Get 18 statesman tips on giving great conversation for teens and adults in this post.

There you have it!

All you need to make sure you never run out of things to say. Get these printed out as your go-to cheat sheets and bookmark this page so you can easily come back to them for future classes.

Hopefully, these ESL conversation starters and questions will spark your own ideas for topics you can use in class. If you are teaching one-to-one, you could even write niche topics especially for that student’s interests (e.g skateboarding, knitting or chess).

Remember, match the topics to the student’s level, keep it fun and once they start talking don’t get in the way!

3 thoughts on “150 ESL Conversation Starters and Questions (The Essential List)”

Very interesting! Thank you.

This is very useful for our speaking club. Thank you.

Glad to hear, enjoy! :)

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Water Conservation Essay

500+ words essay on water conservation.

Water makes up 70% of the earth as well as the human body. There are millions of marine species present in today’s world that reside in water. Similarly, humankind also depends on water. All the major industries require water in some form or the other. However, this precious resource is depleting day by day. The majority of the reasons behind it are man-made only. Thus, the need for water conservation is more than ever now. Through this water conservation essay, you will realize how important it is to conserve water and how scarce it has become.

Water Scarcity- A Dangerous Issue

Out of all the water available, only three per cent is freshwater. Therefore, it is essential to use this water wisely and carefully. However, we have been doing the opposite of this till now.

Every day, we keep exploiting water for a variety of purposes. In addition to that, we also keep polluting it day in and day out. The effluents from industries and sewage discharges are dispersed into our water bodies directly.

Moreover, there are little or no facilities left for storing rainwater. Thus, floods have become a common phenomenon. Similarly, there is careless use of fertile soil from riverbeds. It results in flooding as well.

Therefore, you see how humans play a big role in water scarcity. Living in concrete jungles have anyway diminished the green cover. On top of that, we keep on cutting down forests that are a great source of conserving water.

Nowadays, a lot of countries even lack access to clean water. Therefore, water scarcity is a real thing. We must deal with it right away to change the world for our future generations. Water conservation essay will teach you how.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Water Conservation Essay – Conserving Water

Life without water is not possible. We need it for many things including cleaning, cooking, using the washroom, and more. Moreover, we need clean water to lead a healthy life.

We can take many steps to conserve water on a national level as well as an individual level. Firstly, our governments must implement efficient strategies to conserve water. The scientific community must work on advanced agricultural reforms to save water.

Similarly, proper planning of cities and promotion of water conservation through advertisements must be done. On an individual level, we can start by opting for buckets instead of showers or tubs.

Also, we must not use too much electricity. We must start planting more trees and plants. Rainwater harvesting must be made compulsory so we can benefit from the rain as well.

Further, we can also save water by turning off the tap when we brush our teeth or wash our utensils. Use a washing machine when it is fully loaded. Do not waste the water when you wash vegetables or fruit, instead, use it to water plants.

All in all, we must identify water scarcity as a real issue as it is very dangerous. Further, after identifying it, we must make sure to take steps to conserve it. There are many things that we can do on a national level as well as an individual level. So, we must come together now and conserve water.

FAQ of Water Conservation Essay

Question 1: Why has water become scarce?

Answer 1: Water has become scarce due to a lot of reasons most of which are human-made. We exploit water on a daily basis. Industries keep discharging their waste directly into water bodies. Further, sewage keeps polluting the water as well.

Question 2: How can we conserve water?

Answer 2: The government must plan cities properly so our water bodies stay clean. Similarly, water conservation must be promoted through advertisements. On an individual level, we can start by fixing all our leaky taps. Further, we must avoid showers and use buckets instead to save more water.

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How Pew Research Center will report on generations moving forward

Journalists, researchers and the public often look at society through the lens of generation, using terms like Millennial or Gen Z to describe groups of similarly aged people. This approach can help readers see themselves in the data and assess where we are and where we’re headed as a country.

Pew Research Center has been at the forefront of generational research over the years, telling the story of Millennials as they came of age politically and as they moved more firmly into adult life . In recent years, we’ve also been eager to learn about Gen Z as the leading edge of this generation moves into adulthood.

But generational research has become a crowded arena. The field has been flooded with content that’s often sold as research but is more like clickbait or marketing mythology. There’s also been a growing chorus of criticism about generational research and generational labels in particular.

Recently, as we were preparing to embark on a major research project related to Gen Z, we decided to take a step back and consider how we can study generations in a way that aligns with our values of accuracy, rigor and providing a foundation of facts that enriches the public dialogue.

A typical generation spans 15 to 18 years. As many critics of generational research point out, there is great diversity of thought, experience and behavior within generations.

We set out on a yearlong process of assessing the landscape of generational research. We spoke with experts from outside Pew Research Center, including those who have been publicly critical of our generational analysis, to get their take on the pros and cons of this type of work. We invested in methodological testing to determine whether we could compare findings from our earlier telephone surveys to the online ones we’re conducting now. And we experimented with higher-level statistical analyses that would allow us to isolate the effect of generation.

What emerged from this process was a set of clear guidelines that will help frame our approach going forward. Many of these are principles we’ve always adhered to , but others will require us to change the way we’ve been doing things in recent years.

Here’s a short overview of how we’ll approach generational research in the future:

We’ll only do generational analysis when we have historical data that allows us to compare generations at similar stages of life. When comparing generations, it’s crucial to control for age. In other words, researchers need to look at each generation or age cohort at a similar point in the life cycle. (“Age cohort” is a fancy way of referring to a group of people who were born around the same time.)

When doing this kind of research, the question isn’t whether young adults today are different from middle-aged or older adults today. The question is whether young adults today are different from young adults at some specific point in the past.

To answer this question, it’s necessary to have data that’s been collected over a considerable amount of time – think decades. Standard surveys don’t allow for this type of analysis. We can look at differences across age groups, but we can’t compare age groups over time.

Another complication is that the surveys we conducted 20 or 30 years ago aren’t usually comparable enough to the surveys we’re doing today. Our earlier surveys were done over the phone, and we’ve since transitioned to our nationally representative online survey panel , the American Trends Panel . Our internal testing showed that on many topics, respondents answer questions differently depending on the way they’re being interviewed. So we can’t use most of our surveys from the late 1980s and early 2000s to compare Gen Z with Millennials and Gen Xers at a similar stage of life.

This means that most generational analysis we do will use datasets that have employed similar methodologies over a long period of time, such as surveys from the U.S. Census Bureau. A good example is our 2020 report on Millennial families , which used census data going back to the late 1960s. The report showed that Millennials are marrying and forming families at a much different pace than the generations that came before them.

Even when we have historical data, we will attempt to control for other factors beyond age in making generational comparisons. If we accept that there are real differences across generations, we’re basically saying that people who were born around the same time share certain attitudes or beliefs – and that their views have been influenced by external forces that uniquely shaped them during their formative years. Those forces may have been social changes, economic circumstances, technological advances or political movements.

When we see that younger adults have different views than their older counterparts, it may be driven by their demographic traits rather than the fact that they belong to a particular generation.

The tricky part is isolating those forces from events or circumstances that have affected all age groups, not just one generation. These are often called “period effects.” An example of a period effect is the Watergate scandal, which drove down trust in government among all age groups. Differences in trust across age groups in the wake of Watergate shouldn’t be attributed to the outsize impact that event had on one age group or another, because the change occurred across the board.

Changing demographics also may play a role in patterns that might at first seem like generational differences. We know that the United States has become more racially and ethnically diverse in recent decades, and that race and ethnicity are linked with certain key social and political views. When we see that younger adults have different views than their older counterparts, it may be driven by their demographic traits rather than the fact that they belong to a particular generation.

Controlling for these factors can involve complicated statistical analysis that helps determine whether the differences we see across age groups are indeed due to generation or not. This additional step adds rigor to the process. Unfortunately, it’s often absent from current discussions about Gen Z, Millennials and other generations.

When we can’t do generational analysis, we still see value in looking at differences by age and will do so where it makes sense. Age is one of the most common predictors of differences in attitudes and behaviors. And even if age gaps aren’t rooted in generational differences, they can still be illuminating. They help us understand how people across the age spectrum are responding to key trends, technological breakthroughs and historical events.

Each stage of life comes with a unique set of experiences. Young adults are often at the leading edge of changing attitudes on emerging social trends. Take views on same-sex marriage , for example, or attitudes about gender identity .

Many middle-aged adults, in turn, face the challenge of raising children while also providing care and support to their aging parents. And older adults have their own obstacles and opportunities. All of these stories – rooted in the life cycle, not in generations – are important and compelling, and we can tell them by analyzing our surveys at any given point in time.

When we do have the data to study groups of similarly aged people over time, we won’t always default to using the standard generational definitions and labels. While generational labels are simple and catchy, there are other ways to analyze age cohorts. For example, some observers have suggested grouping people by the decade in which they were born. This would create narrower cohorts in which the members may share more in common. People could also be grouped relative to their age during key historical events (such as the Great Recession or the COVID-19 pandemic) or technological innovations (like the invention of the iPhone).

By choosing not to use the standard generational labels when they’re not appropriate, we can avoid reinforcing harmful stereotypes or oversimplifying people’s complex lived experiences.

Existing generational definitions also may be too broad and arbitrary to capture differences that exist among narrower cohorts. A typical generation spans 15 to 18 years. As many critics of generational research point out, there is great diversity of thought, experience and behavior within generations. The key is to pick a lens that’s most appropriate for the research question that’s being studied. If we’re looking at political views and how they’ve shifted over time, for example, we might group people together according to the first presidential election in which they were eligible to vote.

With these considerations in mind, our audiences should not expect to see a lot of new research coming out of Pew Research Center that uses the generational lens. We’ll only talk about generations when it adds value, advances important national debates and highlights meaningful societal trends.

• Age & Generations
• Demographic Research
• Generation X
• Generation Z
• Generations
• Greatest Generation
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• Millennials
• Silent Generation

Kim Parker is director of social trends research at Pew Research Center

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