essay about how hard life is

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Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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Hard Times in Life Essay: What People Don't Realize

By: Henrique Bertulino

Every day, regular people have to surmount the most heart-wrenching situations in order to realize the hope of better days left to come. Suffering has always been a part of daily life, forming a big part of philosophy. The first thing Tripitaka states as the Buddha's teachings is simply, "Life is suffering."

Hard Times: A Story in Motion - Essay Sample

What can we learn from this essay example, how to write about hard times.

People spend so much time trying to run away from the hard times in life, refusing to realize that they a big part of existence, that they invariably end up pushing themselves towards unhappiness.

When enduring hard times, people inevitably turn to things and people that will offer them some solace. Self-help books are flying out of the shelves faster than people can get their hands on them. This perpetual need for positivity has crystallized into an unstoppable desire and is being taken advantage of by these many self-help gurus.

All that these books do is regurgitate, in probably simpler language, what the Buddha said all that time ago. Rough times can't be sidestepped. All you need to get through them is the comfort of your loved ones, be it a friend or family, and change your point of view on the matter. The secret to surviving hard times is to take things step by step - something that gets easily forgotten by people in this age of utilitarianism and social media-led instant gratification.

The following sample   essay   will illustrate the first-hand experience of hard times.

Considering the truly difficult times in life is actually very easy. Reminiscing on tough times will usually bring back unfortunate memories and feelings, and you will never truly be rid of them. The worse the experience, the stronger it sticks out in your mind, the easier it is to remember. Personally, the most difficult time of my entire life was the first few days after my father's bicycle incident.

For almost three days, I really could not check in with my father, who had gotten struck head-on by a red Chev truck. It had been truly the most difficult thing I've ever experienced, not knowing whether I would see him alive once again. 

It started off like any typical Wednesday. I had just gotten home from the express choral competition in Knutson, and my father was setting off on his regular Tuesday nighttime ride. My wife, Louisa, and I came home around six o'clock, just in time to see my mom popping out the door sobbing. This was one of the very few times I had seen my mom weep.

Obviously curious - and a little bit shook - about why my mother was sobbing, I asked her what was wrong. All she could say was, "Your dad's been hit." 

It was a little while until her words sunk in, but after a few seconds, I fully comprehended exactly what she meant. It was really gut-wrenching. She told my siblings and me that other visitors were not allowed at the hospital with her, and that's when I broke down.

It was so nerve-wracking to think of what all was going on at the hospital and whether or not my father would be fine. The next day or two weren't any better. My uncle, aunt, cousin, and grandmother, all of whom were on my mom's side of the family, came and stayed the night with us. My mom, though, slept at the hospital. 

It was great to have the support of my children being there, but it was hard since I had to teach high school the following day. Enduring every single one of those horrible emotions and thoughts throughout the day really took a toll on my health.

My other grandma and granddaddy, uncle and aunt, coming from my father's side, arrived that Friday. Again, I was thankful to have so many caring family members around, but it was still too much. Going three days and nights without seeing my father was awful. Constantly thinking about what all had happened to him brought tears to my eyes. The worst feeling was knowing that I could not get bummed out anymore. Staying strong in difficult situations takes a lot out of you.

Seconds, minutes, and hours all felt like the passage of months and years. That Friday was the first time I got the chance to see him. Seeing my father lying on a hospital bed, bruised from head to toes, with a busted leg and broken neck, truly humbled me.

I try to under no circumstances take everything I have for granted anymore, and I frequently remind myself that I was certainly blessed by God to still have my father around despite everything he had to go through.

Hard times are necessary because they make us better. They make us stronger. And if you refer to the above essay example, you will see that the writer did not triumph all on his own. You are not alone, either, no matter how much you think it is true.

The trials we face are only there, so we emerge as kinder, wiser beings that can extend the kindness we received from our loved ones to others in need. In the essay example, the author repeatedly expresses his gratitude for the arrival of his family members, his wife, and his kids. He would not have made it alone. We, as humans, are not designed to function in solitude. We need others for the sake of our well-being.

In Charles Dickens'   Hard Times , the archetypal novel about this theme, we see clearly through the struggles faced by Mr. Gradgrind in his family life that it is only through feeling, accepting, and working through great pains that we emerge as stronger and wiser human beings. Beings capable of empathy and love, beings capable of overcoming sorrow and hard times.

Writing about your own experiences can be a very vulnerable experience, and that is something you need to embrace when writing an essay about hard times. Charles Dickens mostly wrote about his own experiences in his masterpieces like   Oliver Twist  or   David Copperfield.  What makes them so popular?

Well, the secret lies in humanizing the characters. Like in the sample essay, you have to talk about an experience that most people can empathize with. People don't have to undergo the same trials as you in order to put themselves in your shoes. You need them to imagine what I must have been like. If you can do that, then you're there.

Masters of the craft like Dickens and Dostoyevsky are able to make you root for their main characters by simply making their sufferings relatable. Losing a parent, seeing a friend suffer, losing your job - these are all things that people know what it's like to go through. You have to put your spin on the event and make it worth caring about. 

Here are some topics you might want to explore:

• Everything You Need to Know About Communicating Hard Times
• Life Beyond Pain: How to Deal with Hard Times
• A Story of Thriving Despite Pain
• Why Tough Times Don't Last
• How to Make People Feel Your Pain Through Writing

If you feel that you need help in   essay editing , you can rely on our   essay writing service . Our experts are always here to help!

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Experiencing hardship and adversity

The role of resilience in times of crisis, building resilience tip 1: practice acceptance, tip 2: reach out to others, tip 3: invest in self-care, tip 4: look for meaning and purpose, tip 5: stay motivated, surviving tough times by building resilience.

Whether you’re facing a global or personal crisis—or a mix of both—building resilience can help you cope with stress, overcome adversity, and enjoy the better days to come.

Lately, the world seems to be lurching from one crisis to another. We’ve experienced a global pandemic, dramatic changes to how we conduct our daily lives, economic uncertainty, and political and social turmoil, as well as an array of natural disasters. Then there are personal traumas that people are also dealing with, such as the loss of a loved one, declining health, unemployment, divorce, violent crime, or tragic accidents. For many us, this is a time of unprecedented struggle and upheaval.

Whether the source of disruption in your life is a global emergency or a personal tragedy—or both—living through difficult times can take a heavy toll on your mood, health, and outlook. It can leave you feeling helpless and overwhelmed by stress and anxiety. You may be painfully grieving all that you’ve lost, flooded by a slew of difficult, conflicting emotions, or uncertain about how to move on with your life. You may even feel that your life is totally out of control and you’re powerless to affect whatever may happen next.

While there’s no way to avoid sorrow, adversity, or distress in life, there are ways to help smooth the rough waters and regain a sense of control. Resilience is the ability to cope with the loss, change, and trauma that have been inevitable parts of life even before these extraordinary times. Building resilience can help you better adapt to life-changing events, cope with turbulent times, and bounce back from hardship and tragedy.

Why do some people seem to be better able to cope in these troubling times than others? While everyone’s situation is different, it is true that people with resilience tend to have a higher tolerance for the emotional distress generated by hard times. The more resilient you are, the better you’re able to tolerate the feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness that accompany trauma and adversity—and find a way to rebound from setbacks.

[Read: How to Cope with Traumatic Events]

We all go through bad times, we all experience disappointment, loss, and change, and we all feel sad, anxious, and stressed at various times in our lives. But building resilience can help you to maintain a positive outlook, face an uncertain future with less fear, and get through even the darkest days.

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Building resilience

If you’re more sensitive to emotional distress and are finding it difficult to cope with hardship or adversity, it’s important not to think of it as some kind of character flaw. Resilience isn’t a macho quality and it isn’t fixed; it’s an ongoing process that requires effort to build and maintain over time.

Unless you’ve faced adversity in your life before, it’s unlikely you’ve had the need or opportunity to develop resilience. Drawing on past experiences can help you cope with the challenges you’re facing today. Even if you’ve struggled to cope with adversity in the past, you may at least be able to recognize some of the ways of coping that DON’T help, such as trying to numb your feelings with drugs or alcohol .

While it’s often difficult to imagine anything good coming out of traumatic experiences, building resilience can help you find any positives in the difficulties you’ve faced. Surviving hardships can teach you important things about yourself and the world around you, strengthen your resolve, deepen your empathy, and in time enable you to evolve and grow as a human being.

Building resilience can also help you to:

• Stay focused, flexible, and productive, in both good and bad times.
• Feel less afraid of new experiences or an uncertain future.
• Manage and tolerate strong emotions outside your comfort zone, even those you’d rather avoid like anger or despair.
• Strengthen your relationships and improve your communication skills, especially under pressure.
• Bolster your self-esteem.
• Be confident you’ll eventually find a solution to a problem, even when one isn’t immediately apparent.

You can develop and improve these qualities of resilience at any time, regardless of your age, background, or circumstances. The following tips can help you face hardships with more confidence, better cope with these tumultuous times, and make it through to the brighter, more hopeful days ahead.

While we all react to stressful events in different ways, many of us try to protect ourselves by refusing to accept the truth of what’s happening. After all, by denying that you’re even experiencing a crisis, you can kid yourself that you still have some sense of control over what are usually uncontrollable events.

While denial can have some positive functions—it can give you an opportunity to come to terms with the shock of a traumatic event, for example—over time, it will just prolong your pain. Staying in denial will prevent you from adapting to your new circumstances, stop you from seeking solutions or taking action, and stifle the healing process.

Accept the situation

Change is an inevitable part of life and many aspects of the changing world are outside your individual control. You can’t control the spread of a virus, for example, the pace of social change, or how the economy behaves. While it can be tough to acknowledge, railing against events or circumstances outside your control will only drain you of energy and leave you feeling anxious and hopeless. Accepting your situation, on the other hand, can free you up to devote your energy to the things that you do have control over.

Focus on things within your control. Make a list of all the things you can’t control and give yourself permission to stop worrying about them . Instead, focus on the action that you can take. If you’re unemployed, you can’t control whether the ideal job appears in the wants ads or whether an employer will grant you an interview. But you can control how much time and effort you put into searching for work or brushing up on your skills. Similarly, if a loved one is facing a life-threatening illness, you may have to relinquish control to the medical experts, but you can still focus on providing your loved one with as much emotional support as possible.

Accept change by looking to your past. Looking back at examples where you’ve coped with uncertainty and change before can help you accept your current situation. Perhaps you suffered a painful breakup in the past and were eventually able to move on with your life, or you lost a job and ended up finding a better one? Examining your past successes can also help you see past the current crisis and derive some confidence that you’ll be able to pull through again.

Accept your feelings

It’s tempting to believe that the best way to get through hard times is by ignoring painful emotions and “putting on a brave face”. But unpleasant emotions exist whether you choose to acknowledge them or not. Trying to prevent your emotions from surfacing will only fuel your stress, delay acceptance of your new situation, and prevent you from moving on.

By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, you’ll find that even the most intense, upsetting feelings will pass, the trauma of these tough times will start to fade, and you’ll be able to find a path forward. Talk to someone you trust about what you’re experiencing or use HelpGuide’s Emotional Intelligence Toolkit to reconnect with your emotions.

Grieve your losses

Undergoing tough times usually involves some kind of loss. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the loss of your old life, it’s important you allow yourself the opportunity to grieve. Only by facing your grief —acknowledging and mourning your losses—will you be able to heal and eventually move on with your life.

Connecting with friends and family when you’re going through tough times can help ease stress, boost your mood, and make sense of all the change and disruption . Instead of feeling like you’re facing your problems alone, you can draw strength and build resilience from having others to lean on.

The people you reach out to don’t need to have answers to the problems you’re facing; they just need to be willing to listen to you without judging. In fact, what you talk about or the words used are often unimportant. It’s the human connection—eye contact, a smile, or a hug—that can make all the difference to how you’re feeling.

Prioritize relationships . Nothing carries the same health benefits as connecting face-to-face with someone who is caring and empathetic. These days, however, it’s not always possible to see friends and loved ones in person. If you’re kept apart by geography, lockdown, or travel restrictions, for example, reach out to others via phone, video chat, or social media.

Don’t withdraw in tough times. You may be inclined to retreat into your shell when you’re facing challenges in your life. You may fear being a burden to friends and loved ones or feel too exhausted to reach out. But try to keep up with social activities even when you don’t feel like it. Good friends won’t consider you a burden—they’re more likely to feel flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them.

Try to avoid negative people. Some friends are good listeners, kind and empathetic. Others seem to only fuel negative emotions, leaving you feeling even more stressed, anxious, or panicky. Try to avoid anyone who magnifies your problems, criticizes, or makes you feel judged.

Expand your social network. Even though relationships are vital for good mental health , building resilience, and getting through tough times, many of us feel that we don’t have anyone to turn to in times of need. But there are plenty of ways to build new friendships and improve your support network. If you know others who are lonely or isolated, be the one to take the initiative and reach out.

Living through tough times can be both mentally and physically draining. Constantly being in a heightened state of stress can lead to serious health problems, impact your immune and digestive systems, increase your risk of heart attack and stroke, and lead to burnout , a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion.

Since the body and mind are so closely linked, investing in self-care is an important part of building resilience and getting through times of great stress. When your body feels strong and healthy so, too, will your mind.

Get enough exercise. When you’re dealing with chronic stress, you likely carry it somewhere in your body. Maybe your muscles are tense, you have back or neck pain, frequent headaches, insomnia, heartburn, or an upset stomach? Getting regular exercise not only releases powerful endorphins in the brain to improve your mood, but it can also help to ease tension in the body and counteract the physical symptoms of stress.

Practice a “mind and body” relaxation technique. Practices such as yoga, tai chi, and meditation blend deep breathing and body awareness to help you relieve stress and bring your nervous system back into balance. Try one of HelpGuide’s audio meditations to boost your physical and emotional well-being.

[Listen: Inner Strength Meditation]

Improve your sleep. When you’re facing adversity, nothing wears down your resilience like missing out on a good night’s sleep. Often, improving your daytime habits and taking the time to relax and unwind before bed can help you sleep better at night .

Eat well. There are no specific foods that can help build resilience and weather tough times. Rather, it’s your overall dietary pattern that’s important. Eating lots of processed and takeout food can take a toll on your brain and mood, sapping your energy, and weakening your immune system. A healthy diet , on the other hand—one that’s low in sugar and rich in healthy fats—can give you the energy and focus to tackle the challenges you’re facing.

Manage your overall stress levels . Taking steps to manage your overall stress can break the hold it has over your life, improve your mood, and help you build the resilience you need to hold up under pressure at this time.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by frightening headlines or consumed by the crisis you’re facing. But whatever your circumstances, it doesn’t have to define you as a person. You are not your crisis. By pursuing activities that bring purpose and meaning to your life, you can keep your problems in perspective, prevent them from overwhelming you, and maintain your identity.

Everyone is different so we all have different ways of experiencing purpose and meaning. Don’t limit yourself by others’ expectations; pursue activities that are important to you and add satisfaction to your life.

Give help to others. When you’re in the midst of a crisis, it’s common to feel powerless and helpless. By proactively helping others, you can regain a sense of control as well as find purpose in your life. In fact, giving support can be just as beneficial as receiving support. Try volunteering , helping others in your neighborhood, giving blood, donating to a charity, or marching for a cause that’s important to you.

Pursue your hobbies and interests. In turbulent times, it’s important not to cast aside interests that nourish your spirit. For many of us, it’s these things that define us as individuals and bring meaning to our lives. Whether it’s playing a sport, caring for a pet , an artistic or musical endeavor, home improvement projects, or spending time in nature, continuing to draw pleasure from your pastimes adds to your ability to cope with the stress of difficult times.

An important part of coping with adversity and making it through tough times is to foster qualities of persistence and endurance. Tough times don’t last forever, but by their very nature they’re rarely over quickly. As you plot a road through the darkness, you need to find ways to stay motivated and persevere.

Deal with your problems one step at a time. If a problem is too big to deal with all at once, try breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps. If your problem seems to have no possible solution, you can still take action by drawing up a list, researching more about the subject, or seeking the advice of a trusted friend or loved one.

Celebrate small wins. To stay motivated and positive as you navigate stormy seas in life, take a moment to savor your small successes. If you’re looking for work, for example, getting an interview isn’t as meaningful as landing a job, but it’s a sign of progress, a step in the right direction. Noting these small wins can give you a welcome break from all the stress and negativity you’re facing and encourage you to keep going.

[Read: Finding Joy During Difficult Times]

Try to maintain a hopeful outlook. While it’s difficult to stay positive and hopeful in the midst of a crisis, many of us tend to blow our problems out of proportion and make them seem even more negative than they really are. Try taking a step back and examining your situation as an outsider. Are their rays of hope that you can focus on? Instead of worrying about what you fear may happen, try visualizing what you’d like to happen instead.

Express gratitude. It may sound trite, but even when you’re experience terrible times, it’s usually possible to find one thing you can be grateful about—the love of a pet, for example, a beautiful sunset, or a caring friend. Taking a moment to acknowledge your gratitude for such small things can provide respite from the stress and really boost your mood.

Be kind to yourself. Everyone adjusts to change and upheaval differently. Don’t criticize your coping skills or beat yourself up for every mistake you make. Self-compassion is an important part of building resilience, so go easy on yourself.

More Information

• Building your resilience - A roadmap for adapting to life-changing situations. (American Psychological Association)
• Tolerating Distress - Tools to help you face your feelings during difficult times. (Centre for Clinical Interventions)
• Five Science-Backed Strategies to Build Resilience - Ways to build resilience and confront emotional pain. (Greater Good Magazine, UC Berkeley)
• Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders . American Psychiatric Association. Link
• Norris, F. H. “Epidemiology of Trauma: Frequency and Impact of Different Potentially Traumatic Events on Different Demographic Groups.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 60, no. 3 (June 1992): 409–18. Link
• Macedo, Tania, Livia Wilheim, Raquel Gonçalves, Evandro Silva Freire Coutinho, Liliane Vilete, Ivan Figueira, and Paula Ventura. “Building Resilience for Future Adversity: A Systematic Review of Interventions in Non-Clinical Samples of Adults.” BMC Psychiatry 14, no. 1 (August 14, 2014): 227. Link
• Joyce, Sadhbh, Fiona Shand, Joseph Tighe, Steven J Laurent, Richard A Bryant, and Samuel B Harvey. “Road to Resilience: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Resilience Training Programmes and Interventions.” BMJ Open 8, no. 6 (June 14, 2018): e017858. Link
• Lee, Tak Yan, Chau Kiu Cheung, and Wai Man Kwong. “Resilience as a Positive Youth Development Construct: A Conceptual Review.” The Scientific World Journal 2012 (May 2, 2012): 390450. Link
• Forbes, Sarah, and Deniz Fikretoglu. “Building Resilience: The Conceptual Basis and Research Evidence for Resilience Training Programs.” Review of General Psychology 22, no. 4 (December 1, 2018): 452–68. Link
• Shatté, Andrew, Adam Perlman, Brad Smith, and Wendy D. Lynch. “The Positive Effect of Resilience on Stress and Business Outcomes in Difficult Work Environments.” Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine 59, no. 2 (February 2017): 135–40. Link
• Hoegl, Martin, and Silja Hartmann. “Bouncing Back, If Not beyond: Challenges for Research on Resilience.” Asian Business & Management 20, no. 4 (September 1, 2021): 456–64. Link
• Silver, Kristin E., Meera Kumari, Danette Conklin, and Gunnur Karakurt. “Trauma and Health Symptoms in a Community Sample: Examining the Influences of Gender and Daily Stress.” The American Journal of Family Therapy 46, no. 2 (2018): 153–67. Link
• Sansbury, Brittany S, Kelly Graves, and Wendy Scott. “Managing Traumatic Stress Responses among Clinicians: Individual and Organizational Tools for Self-Care.” Trauma 17, no. 2 (April 1, 2015): 114–22. Link
• Bower, Gordon H., and Heidi Sivers. “Cognitive Impact of Traumatic Events.” Development and Psychopathology 10, no. 4 (December 1998): 625–53. Link
• Ley, Clemens, María Rato Barrio, and Andreas Koch. “‘In the Sport I Am Here’: Therapeutic Processes and Health Effects of Sport and Exercise on PTSD.” Qualitative Health Research 28, no. 3 (February 1, 2018): 491–507. Link
• Hegberg, Nicole J., Jasmeet P. Hayes, and Scott M. Hayes. “Exercise Intervention in PTSD: A Narrative Review and Rationale for Implementation.” Frontiers in Psychiatry 10 (2019): 133. Link

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Essays About Life: Top 5 Examples Plus 7 Prompts

Life envelops various meanings; if you are writing essays about life, discover our comprehensive guide with examples and prompts to help you with your essay.

What is life? You can ask anyone; I assure you, no two people will have the same answer. How we define life relies on our beliefs and priorities. One can say that life is the capacity for growth or the time between birth and death. Others can share that life is the constant pursuit of purpose and fulfillment. Life is a broad topic that inspires scholars, poets, and many others. It stimulates discussions that encourage diverse perspectives and interpretations. 

5 Essay Examples

1. essay on life by anonymous on toppr.com, 2. the theme of life, existence and consciousness by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 3. compassion can save life by anonymous on papersowl.com, 4. a life of consumption vs. a life of self-realization by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 5. you only live once: a motto for life by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 1. what is the true meaning of life, 2. my life purpose, 3. what makes life special, 4. how to appreciate life, 5. books about life, 6. how to live a healthy life, 7. my idea of a perfect life.

“…quality of Life carries huge importance. Above all, the ultimate purpose should be to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is one which allows us to connect with our deeper self.”

The author defines life as something that differentiates man from inorganic matter. It’s an aspect that processes and examines a person’s actions that develop through growth. For some, life is a pain because of failures and struggles, but it’s temporary. For the writer, life’s challenges help us move forward, be strong, and live to the fullest. You can also check out these essays about utopia .

“… Kafka defines the dangers of depending on art for life. The hunger artist expresses his dissatisfaction with the world by using himself and not an external canvas to create his artwork, forcing a lack of separation between the artist and his art. Therefore, instead of the art depending on the audience, the artist depends on the audience, meaning when the audience’s appreciation for work dwindles, their appreciation for the artist diminishes as well, leading to the hunger artist’s death.”

The essay talks about “ A Hunger Artist ” by Franz Kafka, who describes his views on life through art. The author analyzes Kafka’s fictional main character and his anxieties and frustrations about life and the world. This perception shows how much he suffered as an artist and how unhappy he was. Through the essay, the writer effectively explains Kafka’s conclusion that artists’ survival should not depend on their art.

“Compassion is that feeling that we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives. When we know that there is someone that really cares for us. Compassion comes from that moment when we can see the world through another person’s eyes.”

The author is a nurse who believes that to be professional, they need to be compassionate and treat their patients with respect, empathy, and dignity. One can show compassion through small actions such as talking and listening to patients’ grievances. In conclusion, compassion can save a person’s life by accepting everyone regardless of race, gender, etc.

“… A life of self-realization is more preferable and beneficial in comparison with a life on consumption. At the same time, this statement may be objected as person’s consumption leads to his or her happiness.”

The author examines Jon Elster’s theory to find out what makes a person happy and what people should think and feel about their material belongings. The essay mentions a list of common activities that make us feel happy and satisfied, such as buying new things. The writer explains that Elster’s statement about the prevalence of self-realization in consumption will always trigger intense debate.

“Appreciate the moment you’ve been given and appreciate the people you’ve been given to spend it with, because no matter how beautiful or tragic a moment is, it always ends. So hold on a little tighter, smile a little bigger, cry a little harder, laugh a little louder, forgive a little quicker, and love a whole lot deeper because these are the moments you will remember when you’re old and wishing you could rewind time.”

This essay explains that some things and events only happen once in a person’s life. The author encourages teenagers to enjoy the little things in their life and do what they love as much as they can. When they turn into adults, they will no longer have the luxury to do whatever they want.

The author suggests doing something meaningful as a stress reliever, trusting people, refusing to give up on the things that make you happy, and dying with beautiful memories. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers .

7 Prompts for Essays About Life

Life encompasses many values and depends on one’s perception. For most, life is about reaching achievements to make themselves feel alive. Use this prompt to compile different meanings of life and provide a background on why a person defines life as they do.

Take Joseph Campbell’s, “Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning, and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer,” for example. This quote pertains to his belief that an individual is responsible for giving life meaning. 

For this prompt, share with your readers your current purpose in life. It can be as simple as helping your siblings graduate or something grand, such as changing a national law to make a better world. You can ask others about their life purpose to include in your essay and give your opinion on why your answers are different or similar.

Life is a fascinating subject, as each person has a unique concept. How someone lives depends on many factors, such as opportunities, upbringing, and philosophies. All of these elements affect what we consider “special.”

Share what you think makes life special. For instance, talk about your relationships, such as your close-knit family or best friends. Write about the times when you thought life was worth living. You might also be interested in these essays about yourself .

Life in itself is a gift. However, most of us follow a routine of “wake up, work (or study), sleep, repeat.” Our constant need to survive makes us take things for granted. When we endlessly repeat a routine, life becomes mundane. For this prompt, offer tips on how to avoid a monotonous life, such as keeping a gratitude journal or traveling.

Many literary pieces use life as their subject. If you have a favorite book about life, recommend it to your readers by summarizing the content and sharing how the book influenced your outlook on life. You can suggest more than one book and explain why everyone should read them.

For example, Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” reminds its readers to live in the moment and never fear failure.

To be healthy doesn’t only pertain to our physical condition. It also refers to our mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being. To live a happy and full life, individuals must strive to be healthy in all areas. For this prompt, list ways to achieve a healthy life. Section your essay and present activities to improve health, such as eating healthy foods, talking with friends, etc.

No one has a perfect life, but describe what it’ll be like if you do. Start with the material things, such as your house, clothes, etc. Then, move to how you connect with others. In your conclusion, answer whether you’re willing to exchange your current life for the “perfect life” you described and why.  See our essay writing tips to learn more!

Hard Work and the Good Life

Christine Jeske

A vocational audit for 2021..

Work hard—life improves. These four words summarize one of the most prevalent narratives in Western culture about how to achieve the good life. As a graph, it would look something like this:

I sometimes ask in the classes I teach, which are made up of predominantly white, middle- and upper-class Christian college students, “Who do you think worked harder in school—the kid who grew up to be a lawyer or the kid who grew up to be a fast-food cook?” Usually only a handful recognize that kids who end up with lower grades or lower-paying jobs often work just as hard or harder than their higher-earning peers. Sometimes solving life’s problems takes more than hard work.

Our school system trains kids to think they’ll get ahead through a meritocracy of hard work, and so does much of the messaging in our churches, media, and families. Indeed, much research shows that when the level of effort people put into a task correlates to the rewards they receive, groups thrive and individuals stay motivated. Hard work is so foundational to Western concepts of achieving the good life that it can be hard to see any other options. But for many people in 2020, that narrative of hard work and the good life shattered.

Hard work is so foundational to Western concepts of achieving the good life that it can be hard to see any other options.

The COVID-19 pandemic forced many of us to confront the narratives we took for granted. For some, the year brought beneficial possibilities like working remotely or new business ventures. But for many more, 2020 brought vocational struggle and disappointment. We faced rampant unemployment, conflicts between home and work, interrupted retirement plans, new reminders of the racialized inequalities in employment, and starkly disproportionate work-related health risks. In 2020, work got harder—we struggled amid a proliferation of rules, personal protective equipment, awkward technologies, uncertain futures, and clashing family priorities. And all that hard work didn’t necessarily seem to get us any closer to the good life.

For Americans on both sides of the political aisle, the simple graph above often serves as a go-to guide when facing personal and social problems. Liberals were quick to criticize Donald Trump for his hard-work narrative when he claimed that his fortune came from business acumen rather than a million-dollar “small loan,” but Joe Biden and nearly every political candidate for decades have played up the same story of their hard-working roots. Groups including immigrants, farmers, and the working class are all often pressured to prove that they deserve dignity and rights based on being “hard workers.” In our politics as well as our personal lives, Americans often equate hard work with goodness itself.

Which is why even as the pandemic called into question much about our working lives, Americans still tend to fall back on this same tired hard-work narrative in looking for ways forward. Surely, we think, if we didn’t value hard work, wouldn’t we end up lazy and unproductive? We idolize hard workers and defend ourselves from allegations that success comes from anything but hard-earned merit because at some level we want to believe it should be true—hard work should earn rewards.

But there’s much this narrative misses. Hard work won’t bring back factories from nations paying lower wages, or eliminate immigration barriers. Hard work won’t change the ways that US agricultural profits are structured around subsidies, indebted farms, and GMO patents. Hard-working individuals won’t singlehandedly undo the systems of racial prejudice, segregation, and inequity built over centuries. For many, social structures are set up such that opportunities for rewarding and enjoyable work simply don’t exist. Making hard work the centre of our explanations for who has or hasn’t succeeded can blind us to the deeply influential systemic causes of unequal career outcomes.

And relying just on the hard-work narrative also leaves people unmoored in their personal vocational journeys. Relying on hard work for our happiness can leave us burned out when we have jobs and emotionally distraught when underemployed. The hard-work narrative does not describe the actual rules of society’s success game, and neither does it describe the path to the good life God intends for us. A good life is richer and more complicated than trudging our way through checklists of tough tasks.

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Let’s take a step back and reassess what the good life  is and what work has to do with getting there. What follows is an activity based on qualitative research techniques I’ve used to get people thinking about work and the good life. It’s designed to help you dig into your assumptions about work, and then recognize possible changes you want to make in how you approach your work and vocation. Think of it as a vocational audit for 2021.

Start Sketching

First, grab a paper and pencil and draw the following: a star somewhere on the paper to represent the good life, and a dot somewhere to represent not living the good life. (Notice the graph above includes these too.) Now draw some representation of how you believe you get from one to the other. Consider using lines, arrows, shapes, or simple figures.

Stop and complete this before you scroll on. If you’d like, also spend some time writing in a journal about how you chose the elements of your drawing. Better yet, ask someone to try the activity with you, and talk about your drawings together.

Think Wider

Once you’ve made an initial attempt to represent your beliefs about the good life, let’s look at some examples of how else people drew the path to the good life. Then read on for some questions to help you reassess your own drawing.

In 2014 and 2015, I conducted over a hundred interviews with people in South Africa about their work and understandings of the good life, and I often asked people to use this drawing activity. I also put simplified versions of people’s drawings and ideas from conversations onto notecards, and asked people to talk about the drawings of others, choosing drawings they liked or disliked. The drawings are a great way to refine and identify beliefs about the good life, because you can interpret them in many ways.

For example, some people described the path to the good life like this:

In one South African Zulu saying, success is like a wheel that turns and turns, taking people to success at times, but eventually bringing back down the people who achieve success through unjust means. It’s a vision of the good life that involves a hope for justice.

Another man described his life like this:

He interpreted this drawing as someone reaching a point in life where they decided not to achieve what other people might assume was the ultimate goal of career success. He said there were some people who wanted to be all the way at the top, at the level of the star, but he wanted to be content where his arrow led, in the middle. He said he believed God had put him where he was in life for a reason, and he wasn’t interested in chasing after the highest status in society.

Many South Africans talked about versions of this picture:

Here people saw the stick figures as people either helping each other to succeed through good relationships or pulling others down.

In my book The Laziness Myth: Narratives of Work and the Good Life in South Africa , I go into further depth about these and other ways people seek and understand the good life, in and out of work. In my own life, I’ve found that learning from people of cultural, racial, and class backgrounds different from my own is a valuable starting point for seeing new possibilities for my own thinking.

Think Deeper

Having taken a brief peek at the wide variety of ways people think about work and the good life, I would suggest the following questions to reflect on what your understanding of vocation might be missing.

Consider the end goals:   When have you seen someone living what you consider the good life? What moments or seasons in your own life seemed especially “good”? What made those moments good? What role did money play? What about leisure, entertainment, or rest? What relationships with God or the world around you were in place? Were you grounded in particular attitudes or values?

Consider the role of work:   Do you typically think of work as good, bad, or something else? Can you have the good life without work? When have you been hurt by work, and in what ways have you been scarred or healed from those experiences? What models of working adults were you surrounded by as a child? Do you tend to think of work like the Garden of Eden, or the curse of producing sustenance amid thorns and thistles? How much of your identity is entrenched in your work? In what ways do you evaluate other people by the work they do? What makes work “right”—should it conform to your unique gifts and passions, should it change the world, or should it merely provide sustenance?

Consider the strength and limits of your agency:   How has your work trajectory been shaped by chance or structures beyond your control? When have strangers or acquaintances assumed the best or worst of you in ways that shaped your career? How much of your life journey rightly depends on your own control?

Consider the role of others in your life:   Have you tended to prioritize relationships or achievement? What relationships do you value and which do you ignore—family, church, co-workers, people who seem far away or different from you? When have you been the recipient of kindness? Whose work or generosity supports you? Who is dependent on you, and how does that shape your sense of purpose? How do you recognize with gratitude the resources that have been entrusted to you by God and others? What purposes do you see in serving others?

Where Are You Now?

Might you amend or redraw your image of the good life after reflecting on these questions? There are many possible answers. The intent is to identify and root out some of the partial truths or lies you may have believed about work, the good life, and the vocational journeys of yourself and others.

Let me offer a few principles to evaluate narratives of vocation.

The good life is not that which is earned by achievement, but that which people are appointed to and welcomed to participate in.

First, Christians need to recognize the role of the Spirit of God in determining the good or bad nature of work. In his book Work in the Spirit: Toward a Theology of Work , Miroslav Volf offers a helpful explanation for the opposing good or bad possibilities of work. He writes, “All work that contradicts the new creation is meaningless; all work that corresponds to the new creation is ultimately meaningful.” Central to Volf’s theology of work is the idea that work at its best has the capacity to be done “in the Spirit,” as an active means of cooperating with God in the transformative process of the new creation. Whether done by believer or unbeliever, work will be revealed over time as either “that which has ultimate significance” or that which schemes “to ruin God’s good creation.” This view of work avoids a fatalistic resolution to put up with oppressive conditions. It adds an awareness of work-related injustice that often gets lost in both theological discussions of work and the popular discourse of hard work as the sole route to a good life.

Further, in the Christian narrative of work, the good life is not that which is earned by achievement, but that which people are appointed to and welcomed to participate in. Jesus’s words in Luke 10:1–3 offer one encapsulation of this picture of work and the good life:

After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. (NIV)

Here the good life consists of a harvest owned and managed by the “Lord of the harvest,” but designed to also incorporate the contributions of workers. Note that the qualifications for workers are virtually absent—there is no mention of gender, skill, age, physical ability, race, ethnicity, or class. Their qualification is only this: they are sent by the Lord, and generously so, at the request of people in need. Also note the plural word “workers.” They are not alone. Their work builds on the labours of those who came before them, and its purpose is in preparing for the coming of the Lord.

Finally, the workers are sent as lambs among wolves. How do they survive the wolves? Not merely by hard work or fierce competition—they are lambs after all. The passage offers no assurance of safety, comfort, or achievement. Not only does their work enrage the forces of evil around them, a case could be made that this very view of work as that which humans do out of the calling of their Lord runs counter to the view of work that prevails in our society.

The “work hard—life improves” narrative has never offered a full explanation of reality, and it has the capacity to steer society in dangerous directions. Far from merely a pathway to earn some fabled pinnacle of achievement, we see here a reminder that work often will be, as it was for many of us in 2020, just plain tough. To make it, we need more than just another to-do-list app and a faster pace of life. We need narratives that reorder the relationships we draw between work and the good life, recentring our relationships with others and with God.

• March 4, 2021

Christine Jeske is a professor of Cultural Anthropology at Wheaton College and author of several books.

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5 Valuable Life Lessons Struggle and Hardship Teaches You

Oct 30, 2020 | Deploy Yourself , Life | 1 comment

When faced with difficulties as human beings, our natural reaction is to avoid the situation rather than power through it. Years of evolution have wired our brains to seek the comfort of the familiar and avoid the discomfort that comes with new and challenging experiences. 

When you experience fear, whether physical or psychological, the part of the brain responsible for dealing with emotions (limbic system) is triggered before the reasoning part of the brain (neocortex). Overwhelming fear triggers a fight or flight response that makes you act before you think. 

Subconscious reactions are necessary for your survival. But they can also be an impediment when there’s no actual danger or when the situation calls for an appropriate response rather than a spontaneous reaction.

Emotions can teach you a lot about yourself , but you should never allow them to take control of your responses. Hasty responses such as outbursts of anger make it difficult to have meaningful relationships, handle conflicts, and communicate effectively.

Every 2 weeks I share my most valuable learnings from living life fully in my Deploy Yourself Newsletter . Sign up now to download a workbook with 164 Powerful Questions which I use daily in my work and coaching. Allow these questions to transform your life and leadership.

Although avoiding struggle is a natural biological response, it is also ironic because struggle can teach us many valuable lessons. Struggle builds character, makes you stronger, and enables you to grow in all aspects of your life. Nobody wakes up in the morning hoping to struggle, but the struggle can provide you with valuable life lessons. 

5 Lessons Struggle Teaches You That Are Valuable In Life

Every cloud has a silver lining. Going through a difficult phase in life can be immensely valuable if you face it with an attitude of perseverance and patience. The following are 5 valuable lessons struggle teaches you.

1. Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness is the ability to look for and utilize available resources to attain a certain objective. Achieving your set goals may seem impossible when resources are limited, but this is also an opportunity to be resourceful and make the best of what you have.

Persevering in times of struggle enables you to think outside the box and try new approaches to dealing with the problem. Rising above the struggle of limited opportunities will teach you to be more resourceful and enhance your problem-solving skills for the future.

“Success is not about your resources. It’s about how resourceful you are with what you have.” – Tony Robbins

When you grow up in a family with little money, the only choice you have is to find creative solutions to make ends meet. For example, when I was growing up I remember how my mother used any spare paper for taking notes and math practice, any spare cloth for making clothes, or to utilize a pencil till it disappears by attaching it to pen handles. 

Being resourceful will not only help you achieve your goals but will also help you manage stressful situations better. According to a research conducted to examine the impact of learned resourcefulness on the relationship between academic stress and academic performance, highly resourceful students were found to be better at managing academic stress. 

The study which sampled 141 university students revealed that academic stress negatively impacted the students’ academic grades. However, the stress had no impact on students who showed high resourcefulness.

The frustration you experience when struggling with a problem can open up your mind to alternative ideas and solutions. When the methods you’re using are not helping you find a solution, you are bound to try other ideas you wouldn’t have thought of had things been sailing smoothly. 

You may even try things you had initially ignored. Struggle can bring out the hidden creative genius within you, enabling you to see a problem from a new angle. You tend to remain in your comfort zone and take less risk when everything is going well.

The best way to learn resourcefulness is to look beyond your struggle and approach problems from a new perspective. By not giving up when problems seem difficult, you can learn from mistakes along the way. This is the common formula that highly successful people like Walt Disney, Richard Branson, etc have utilized in their respective careers.

2. Struggle Teaches You Prioritization and Helps You Realize What Is Really Important

Prioritization means choosing what matters most. When you face multiple tasks and responsibilities in life, they will compete for both your time and resources. Although everything may seem important, not every task requires your urgent attention. 

Learning to prioritize will save time you would have wasted going back and forth between tasks. Prioritizing is a skill that needs constant practice. It requires you to know what matters and recognizing what should be put on the back burner. Facing struggles in life will teach you to let go of things that don’t add value and to value what is really important.

When your financial situation is favorable, you will find joy engaging in activities such as going to the club, shopping, traveling, dining in restaurants, and going to events. When you’re facing struggle, however, you may not see these activities as high priority ones. You will more likely direct your resources (time, attention, money) to more important activities.

Instead of eating out, you will start cooking. Instead of going to the club, you will consider a more intimate gathering of friends in your house. Rather than buying things you don’t need, you will learn to appreciate what you have in life. Little by little, you will realize you don’t really need fancy stuff to be happy and learn to appreciate the simple things.

When you’re dealing with adversity, how you adapt or cope will determine whether you bounce back quickly or not. Self-awareness is crucial to developing emotional intelligence. Learning to monitor your thoughts and emotions will help you understand yourself better and be at peace with who you are.

When dealing with life struggles, the important thing is to make taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, your first priority. Physical self-care includes getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and engaging in physical activities. Emotional self-care tips include self-acceptance and learning to appreciate yourself and your needs. Put on your oxygen mask first.

3. Struggle Makes You More Confident and Humble in Your Ability to Weather the Storms

The story of the struggling butterfly paints a perfect picture of how struggles are an integral part of life. It shows how difficulties along the way help strengthen your resolve and brace you for bigger storms ahead.

A gardener saw a butterfly laying some eggs and took an interest in a particular egg. He began to notice the egg moving and shaking a little. Here was an opportunity to see life brought forth before his eyes, and he watched for hours as the egg began to expand. Cracks started to develop, and he could see the head and antennae as the pupa struggled to come out of the egg.

As he saw the struggling little creature, he took mercy on it and decided to help it by breaking the egg with his forceps. Long story short, the pupa did make it out of the egg, but it never grew to become a fully-fledged butterfly. Denying it, the struggle of breaking out of the egg on its own made it weak, and it died after four weeks.

Just like the young pupa, your life struggles are only building your confidence and preparing you for tougher challenges ahead. If you take the easy way out, you will enjoy instant gratification but limit your own growth. Embracing your circumstances will make you stronger and help you appreciate life more. As you face struggles, you will learn your strengths and weaknesses. You will also learn to accept things you can’t control.

Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions,” and he was right.

Going through challenges in life requires both physical and mental strength. Although you can’t control what happens to you, you can change your attitude and choose your response. Changing how you look at things will enable you to master change instead of allowing it to master you. Mastering change will make you more confident and less afraid of what life throws your way.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t—you’re right” . A study published in a journal of the Association for Psychological Science supports this statement. According to the study , people who believe they could learn from their mistakes fare better than others after making mistakes. Your attitude determines your level of success.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow.” ― Thomas Paine

4. Struggle, if You Never Forget It, Can Help You Stay Grounded

Change and uncertainty can make you feel like things are spinning out of control. When things are bad, keeping a calm head is a challenge as your mind is constantly racing. If you lack experience in dealing with difficult situations, you can easily get lost in the maze. The current Coronavirus pandemic is a perfect example of how change and uncertainty can lead to fear and panic. It has taught us that everyone reacts differently in challenging situations.

While the pandemic is a challenge, it is also an opportunity. If you’re able to stay grounded, you will emerge out of the crisis stronger and able to overcome similar challenges in the future.  The coronavirus crisis has not made the world unpredictable. It has only revealed how uncertain and unpredictable life is.

Challenges and change are inevitable. The best you can do is embrace them and allow them to become your teacher. Tackling challenging situations will keep you grounded as you recognize that there’s always room for improvement and more to learn.

The story of Abraham Lincoln can teach us many life lessons. But most of all, it teaches us the importance of being humble. Lincoln is arguably one of the most iconic presidents of the United States and is revered for his modesty and deep-seated humility. He was a leader who was willing to admit his shortcomings, accept his mistakes, and learn from them.

Lincoln’s road to the white house was riddled with failures and disappointments. As a child, his family was forced to move out of their home because of land disputes, and his mother died shortly after when he was merely nine years old. He tried his hand at business and failed multiple times and experienced financial struggles that drove him to the verge of mental dissipation.

Yet despite all his failures, he still managed to stand on his feet, dust himself up and take charge of his destiny. He sought to improve his life through constant learning and self-reflection. When the going gets tough, being fully present will help keep you grounded. Take control of your emotions and focus your mind and energy on things you can control. 

5. Struggle Imbibes in You a Respecting and Helpful Attitude Towards Our Fellow Beings

Experiencing adversity in life can make you more respectful and helpful towards others. If you have experienced pain, it is easier to understand another person’s pain. According to Dr. Sood , adversity breeds compassion . Several studies have revealed that experiencing hardships is a catalyst for developing empathy for others . These studies show that people with low socioeconomic status develop feelings of compassion when responding to the suffering of others.

They are also able to determine the emotional state of others with better accuracy. Such individuals also exhibited more prosocial behavior and have more motivation to connect with others compared to their counterparts with higher socioeconomic status.

“The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike…” – Helen Keller

Battling life struggles gives you valuable experience. You can understand situations and people better as you compare their battles with your own experiences. When you meet people in a similar predicament, you are in a better position to help since you have walked the same path before. You will also feel closer to people with whom you have experienced struggles together. For instance, buddies who served in the army together will experience a special bond.

Oprah Winfrey experienced a tumultuous childhood. She was raised by her grandmother, whose only ambition for her granddaughter was for her to become a domestic worker. She was first raped by her 19-year-old cousin at the tender age of nine and would experience other instances of sexual abuse at the hands of men over the years. Despite her traumatic experiences, she has gone on to become one of the richest and influential women leaders of our time and is widely recognized for her deep compassion.

Throwing resources at a problem often covers up inefficiencies and prevents creative solutions . According to research, people who struggle with a problem without seeking assistance from others record better performance the second time they face the obstacle than those who didn’t struggle. Experts refer to this phenomenon as a productive failure . 

When you experience hardships and failures, there’s no reason for feeling pessimistic or depressed. Take each obstacle as an opportunity to learn more and improve yourself. Identify where you made a mistake and make adjustments to prevent the problem from recurring in the future.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation with no end in sight, you’re exactly where you need to be. Hard work and persistence during this trying period will toughen you up, build your character, and enhance your relationship with other people. Struggle (whether of our choice or not) can help us discover much more about ourselves and what we are capable of.

Excellent Article on how to be successful during adversity. Very informative. Thank you for all the resources.

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Home — Essay Samples — Psychology — Resilience — Examples Of Hardships In My Life

Examples of Hardships in My Life

• Categories: Empathy Resilience

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Published: Mar 13, 2024

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Loss of a loved one, academic challenges, financial struggle, lessons learned.

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'Why Is Life So Hard?' How to Cope When You Feel This Way

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There's no denying that life can feel truly overwhelming these days. If you're feeling like the challenges you're facing are too much, you're certainly not alone.

As of 2020, 65% of adults in the United States stated they were stressed, specifically by the current circumstances in our country. That’s 2 in 3 adults, meaning the majority of folks are feeling pretty uncertain about their life and future.

In the 2023 version of that same survey, the majority of participants placed their stress levels between a 5 and a 10 on a scale of 1-10. Everyone seems to be a bit stressed out for one reason or another, largely due to the ongoing fallout from the COVID-19 pandemic and general anxiety about security and the future.

And, likely, your stressors aren’t even related to current societal issues, but they could be exacerbated by them. Life is inevitably hard at times and is full of ups and downs, but if you’re feeling like your life is consistently difficult, this article is for you.

We’ll explore the factors that contribute to personal hardship, societal issues that don’t help, strategies for overcoming life’s challenges , and how to find meaning amid chaos. 

Why Is Everything So Much Harder For Me?

You might find yourself pondering why everything feels so hard. Perhaps you’re comparing yourself to your peers and are noticing that they don’t seem to be experiencing the same level of anguish. There can be many reasons for this.

First, everyone’s journey is different . Just because your peers don’t seem to be struggling right now, they may be facing challenges privately. Alternatively, they may simply be in a different season of life than you. The phrase comparison is the thief of joy holds some weight in this situation, so the best way to begin to get back on track is to keep your eyes on your own paper. 

If anything, the fact that things are feeling hard in the face of change can be an indicator that you’re working to change your behavior and that is a process that, by design, isn’t easy.

There’s a myriad of factors that can contribute to life feeling singularly harder for us than for others. First, we may be in a developmental phase of our life that involves a big change—because change, even under the best of circumstances, is seldom easy. This could be going away to college, changing jobs, getting married, having children, getting divorced, or even having your adult children move out. Part of why change is so hard is because it involves us changing our behavior. 

Research shows that changing our behavior isn’t a linear process. Instead, it is one full of clumsy starts and stops, leaps in progress only to regress to former behaviors quickly. Don’t let this discourage you. If anything, the fact that things are feeling hard in the face of change can be an indicator that you’re working to change your behavior and that is a process that, by design, isn’t easy. This all being said, let’s dig deeper into how there are how personal challenges and societal factors are adding to the difficulties of life.

Acknowledging the Impact of Personal Challenges

We’d be remiss to speak about this feeling of life being extraordinarily difficult without acknowledging how personal challenges impact hardship. We all have different circumstances that can increase the intensity of our hardships. 

The first is familial dysfunction . If you’re a survivor of childhood trauma, knee-deep in navigating problematic relationships with family members, or are estranged from family, this can feel profoundly challenging. Not only can these factors lead to feelings of loneliness and shame—they can also spike jealousy if you notice those around you have strong familial support.

Another circumstance that can increase the intensity of life feeling hard is interpersonal issues . For example, you may be navigating a break-up or have lost someone you loved. Alternatively, you may find yourself gridlocked in conflict with your boss.

We need—and thrive—in community. Without community, we may suffer from social isolation or loneliness. Turns out, social isolation and loneliness can even contribute to adverse health outcomes. A recent study found loneliness in older adults to lead to poor sleep, and metabolic, neural, and hormonal issues.

Finally, you might be in crisis , suffering from addiction, abuse, poverty, or chronic illness. These factors cannot be overlooked and inevitably make life feel extraordinarily challenging. We have strategies to support you in this difficult season of life, but first, we need to acknowledge how society may be contributing to how you feel. 

Exploring Societal and External Factors

We are coming off the heels of a pandemic into economic turmoil and ongoing oppressive policies that suppress the rights of BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ communities . For those living with chronic illness , the concept of the pandemic being finished may be infuriating, since COVID-19 is an ongoing threat to the immunocompromised.

Financial stressors have only been exacerbated by looming student loans, economic inflation, and whispers of a recession underway. The suppression of civil rights might have you fearing for the safety of yourself and your loved ones. 

Alegria Louise Demeestere, LMFT

Our culture has a maddening habit of blaming problems on individuals instead of the larger systems those individuals operate in...For any problem we are trying to address, it’s important to look at the systemic causes

Such societal factors can be traumatic and lead to life feeling exponentially more difficult. Do not internalize these factors as a personal failure. It is hard to avoid sickness when navigating chronic illness. It can feel impossible to get ahead financially when facing the effects of a recession. It isn’t reasonable to expect yourself to feel full of energy and ready to make big changes when you feel unsafe.

“Our culture has a maddening habit of blaming problems on individuals instead of the larger systems those individuals operate in,” explains licensed marriage and family therapist Alegria Louise Demeestere . She continues by expressing the importance of pointing the finger at the collective systems we’re in, not at yourself or fellow community members. “For any problem we are trying to address, it’s important to look at the systemic causes,” she asserts. 

What to Do When Life Gets Hard

So, perhaps you know why life is feeling hard. Now it is time to consider what can help when feeling this way.

It’s common to feel full of rage when you’re in this headspace. In fact, it may even feel like you’ve hit your breaking point and are deeply angry . “Your anger is trying to tell you something,” muses Demeestere. “When you become curious about your anger, you are less likely to take it out on others or try to numb it through compulsions and addictions,” she explains.

When we can face our anger head on without any distractions, we can use the energy to propel ourselves forward, past difficulties and beyond. 

While it may feel counterintuitive to some, Demeestere strongly encourages rest when navigating life’s hardships. Not only is rest a powerful antidote to our culture of constantly needing to perform, do, and take action—even in the midst of hardship—it also can do wonders for our well-being.

“When your mind is well-rested, it becomes more clear and creative,” shares Demeestere. With this clarity and creativity comes the ability to take action that benefits others, your community, and yourself. 

Get Support

Additionally, consider seeking out extra support. While therapy won’t take away the hardships you’re up against, it will help you navigate them. You don’t have to go it alone.

If you’re a person of color seeking therapy, consider checking out Inclusive Therapists , Therapy for Black Girls, Therapy for Black Men , or Latinx Therapy .

Member of the LGBTQIA+ community? Check out the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network. If you’re concerned about affording therapy, Inclusive Therapists , the Loveland Foundation , and the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network all offer therapy funds. Open Path Collective is an online platform that offers sessions from $30 to $70 per session. 

Do Your Own Investigating

Next up, get to reading. If you’re looking to dig into self-compassion, check out No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz . Want to do a deep dive into matters of the heart? All About Love by bell hooks may be the soothing balm you’re looking for.

Demeestere cites Tricia Hersey of the Nap Ministry’s Rest is Resistance and adrienne maree brown’s Pleasure Activism as two texts that strongly inform her thoughts regarding hardship, anger, and coping.

Digging into the ways of living a creative life can be profoundly supportive and some of the best art comes from heartbreak. Check out Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert to dive deeper into your creative muscle.

If you’re struggling to meet your basic needs, there may be support in your area. Check out your area’s social services offerings to see if there are provisions for food, clothing, and even vocational training. Should you be in a crisis and need support immediately, call 988 to get connected to mental health care in your area. 

Things You Can Do in the Moment

All of these tools will be helpful when implemented as longer term strategies, but sometimes when you're spiraling you just need something you can do right away. This could include calling a friend or loved one, spend some time outside, do something to move your body and get yourself out of your head, do some breathing exercises or yoga, or recite some self-supportive affirmations.

Finding Meaning and Moving Forward

It isn’t easy navigating the painful ups and downs of life. Yet, there can be meaning in the challenges you experience. In fact, some therapy modalities specifically look at how your past is shaping your present, making meaning out of the hardships you’ve overcome. No one should ever have to hurt as a way to gain wisdom and no one should be subject to abuse, poverty , and systemic oppression.

Consider how you can use your anger, frustration, and sadness to propel yourself forward. Make art that moves others, consider how you can be the helping hand you need to another person, and dig into the storytelling of your life. Imagine what story you want to tell with this current chapter and then write the ending you long for. 

American Psychological Association. Stress in America 2020: A National Mental Health Crisis .

American Psychological Association. Stress in America 2023 .

Bouton ME. Why behavior change is difficult to sustain. Prev Med. 2014;0:29-36. doi: 10.1016/j.ypmed.2014.06.010

Donovan NJ, Blazer D. Social isolation and loneliness in older adults: review and commentary of a national academies report . Am J Geriatr Psychiatry . 2020;28(12):1233-1244. doi: 10.1016/j.jagp.2020.08.005

By Julia Childs Heyl, MSW Julia Childs Heyl, MSW, is a clinical social worker and writer. As a writer, she focuses on mental health disparities and uses critical race theory as her preferred theoretical framework. In her clinical work, she specializes in treating people of color experiencing anxiety, depression, and trauma through depth therapy and EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) trauma therapy.

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Life Is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way A philosophical guide to facing life’s inevitable hardships There is no cure for the human condition: life is hard. But Kieran Setiya believes philosophy can help. He offers us a map for navigating rough terrain, from personal trauma to the injustice and absurdity of the world.  In this profound and personal book, Setiya shows how the tools of philosophy can help us find our way. Drawing on ancient and modern philosophy as well as fiction, history, memoir, film, comedy, social science, and stories from Setiya’s own experience,  Life Is Hard  is a book for this moment—a work of solace and compassion. Warm, accessible, and good-humored, this book is about making the best of a bad lot. It offers guidance for coping with pain and making new friends, for grieving the lost and failing with grace, for confronting injustice and searching for meaning in life. Countering pop psychologists and online influencers who admonish us to “find our bliss” and “live our best lives,” Setiya acknowledges that the best is often out of reach. He asks instead how we can weather life’s adversities, finding hope and living well when life is hard. There are no customer reviews for this item yet. Classic Totes Tote bags and pouches in a variety of styles, sizes, and designs , plus mugs, bookmarks, and more! Shipping & Pickup We ship anywhere in the U.S. and orders of $75+ ship free via media mail! Noteworthy Signed Books: Join the Club! Join our Signed First Edition Club (or give a gift subscription) for a signed book of great literary merit, delivered to you monthly. Harvard Square's Independent Bookstore © 2024 Harvard Book Store All rights reserved Contact Harvard Book Store 1256 Massachusetts Avenue Cambridge, MA 02138 Tel (617) 661-1515 Toll Free (800) 542-READ Email [email protected] View our current hours » Join our bookselling team » We plan to remain closed to the public for two weeks, through Saturday, March 28 While our doors are closed, we plan to staff our phones, email, and harvard.com web order services from 10am to 6pm daily. Store Hours Monday - Saturday: 9am - 11pm Sunday: 10am - 10pm Holiday Hours 12/24: 9am - 7pm 12/25: closed 12/31: 9am - 9pm 1/1: 12pm - 11pm All other hours as usual. Map Find Harvard Book Store » Online Customer Service Shipping » Online Returns » Privacy Policy » Harvard University harvard.edu » Clubs & Services Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times A decade’s worth of research on gratitude has shown me that when life is going well, gratitude allows us to celebrate and magnify the goodness. But what about when life goes badly? In the midst of the economic maelstrom that has gripped our country, I have often been asked if people can—or even should—feel grateful under such dire circumstances. This essay is adapted from Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity . My response is that not only will a grateful attitude help—it is essential . In fact, it is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life. In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times. Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that gratitude will come easily or naturally in a crisis. It’s easy to feel grateful for the good things. No one “feels” grateful that they have lost a job or a home or good health or has taken a devastating hit on their retirement portfolio. But it is vital to make a distinction between feeling grateful and being grateful. We don’t have total control over our emotions. We cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy. Feelings follow from the way we look at the world, thoughts we have about the way things are, the way things should be, and the distance between these two points. But being grateful is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is relatively immune to the gains and losses that flow in and out of our lives. When disaster strikes, gratitude provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety and not be overwhelmed by temporary circumstances. Yes, this perspective is hard to achieve—but my research says it is worth the effort. Remember the bad Trials and suffering can actually refine and deepen gratefulness if we allow them to show us not to take things for granted. Our national holiday of gratitude, Thanksgiving, was born and grew out of hard times. The first Thanksgiving took place after nearly half the pilgrims died from a rough winter and year. It became a national holiday in 1863 in the middle of the Civil War and was moved to its current date in the 1930s following the Depression. Why? Well, when times are good, people take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that they are invulnerable. In times of uncertainty, though, people realize how powerless they are to control their own destiny. If you begin to see that everything you have, everything you have counted on, may be taken away, it becomes much harder to take it for granted. The Gratitude Project What if we didn't take good things for granted? Learn how gratitude can lead to a better life—and a better world—in this new GGSC book. So crisis can make us more grateful—but research says gratitude also helps us cope with crisis. Consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals. The contrast between suffering and redemption serves as the basis for one of my tips for practicing gratitude: remember the bad. It works this way: Think of the worst times in your life, your sorrows, your losses, your sadness—and then remember that here you are, able to remember them, that you made it through the worst times of your life, you got through the trauma, you got through the trial, you endured the temptation, you survived the bad relationship, you’re making your way out of the dark. Remember the bad things, then look to see where you are now. This process of remembering how difficult life used to be and how far we have come sets up an explicit contrast that is fertile ground for gratefulness. Our minds think in terms of counterfactuals—mental comparisons we make between the way things are and how things might have been different. Contrasting the present with negative times in the past can make us feel happier (or at least less unhappy) and enhance our overall sense of well-being. This opens the door to coping gratefully. Try this little exercise. First, think about one of the unhappiest events you have experienced. How often do you find yourself thinking about this event today? Does the contrast with the present make you feel grateful and pleased? Do you realize your current life situation is not as bad as it could be? Try to realize and appreciate just how much better your life is now. The point is not to ignore or forget the past but to develop a fruitful frame of reference in the present from which to view experiences and events. There’s another way to foster gratitude: confront your own mortality. In a recent study, researchers asked participants to imagine a scenario where they are trapped in a burning high rise, overcome by smoke, and killed. This resulted in a substantial increase in gratitude levels, as researchers discovered when they compared this group to two control conditions who were not compelled to imagine their own deaths. In these ways, remembering the bad can help us to appreciate the good. As the German theologian and Lutheran pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said, “Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy.” We know that gratitude enhances happiness, but why? Gratitude maximizes happiness in multiple ways, and one reason is that it helps us reframe memories of unpleasant events in a way that decreases their unpleasant emotional impact. This implies that grateful coping entails looking for positive consequences of negative events. For example, grateful coping might involve seeing how a stressful event has shaped who we are today and has prompted us to reevaluate what is really important in life. Reframing disaster To say that gratitude is a helpful strategy to handle hurt feelings does not mean that we should try to ignore or deny suffering and pain. The GGSC's coverage of gratitude is sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation as part of our Expanding Gratitude project. The field of positive psychology has at times been criticized for failing to acknowledge the value of negative emotions. Barbara Held of Bowdoin College in Maine, for example, contends that positive psychology has been too negative about negativity and too positive about positivity. To deny that life has its share of disappointments, frustrations, losses, hurts, setbacks, and sadness would be unrealistic and untenable. Life is suffering. No amount of positive thinking exercises will change this truth. So telling people simply to buck up, count their blessings, and remember how much they still have to be grateful for can certainly do much harm. Processing a life experience through a grateful lens does not mean denying negativity. It is not a form of superficial happiology. Instead, it means realizing the power you have to transform an obstacle into an opportunity. It means reframing a loss into a potential gain, recasting negativity into positive channels for gratitude. A growing body of research has examined how grateful recasting works. In a study conducted at Eastern Washington University, participants were randomly assigned to one of three writing groups that would recall and report on an unpleasant open memory—a loss, a betrayal, victimization, or some other personally upsetting experience. The first group wrote for 20 minutes on issues that were irrelevant to their open memory. The second wrote about their experience pertaining to their open memory. Researchers asked the third group to focus on the positive aspects of a difficult experience—and discover what about it might now make them feel grateful. Results showed that they demonstrated more closure and less unpleasant emotional impact than participants who just wrote about the experience without being prompted to see ways it might be redeemed with gratitude. Participants were never told not to think about the negative aspects of the experience or to deny or ignore the pain. Moreover, participants who found reasons to be grateful demonstrated fewer intrusive memories, such as wondering why it happened, whether it could have been prevented, or if they believed they caused it to happen. Thinking gratefully, this study showed, can help heal troubling memories and in a sense redeem them—a result echoed in many other studies. Some years ago, I asked people with debilitating physical illnesses to compose a narrative concerning a time when they felt a deep sense of gratitude to someone or for something. I asked them to let themselves re-create that experience in their minds so that they could feel the emotions as if they had transported themselves back in time to the event itself. I also had them reflect on what they felt in that situation and how they expressed those feelings. In the face of progressive diseases, people often find life extremely challenging, painful, and frustrating. I wondered whether it would even be possible for them to find anything to be grateful about. For many of them, life revolved around visits to the pain clinic and pharmacy. I would not have been at all surprised if resentment overshadowed gratefulness. More on Gratitude How grateful are you? Take our quiz . Read about ways gratitude can backfire . Do your kids sometimes act like entitled brats? This video can help. As it turned out, most respondents had trouble settling on a specific instance—they simply had so much in their lives that they were grateful for. I was struck by the profound depth of feeling that they conveyed in their essays, and by the apparent life-transforming power of gratitude in many of their lives. It was evident from reading these narrative accounts that (1) gratitude can be an overwhelmingly intense feeling, (2) gratitude for gifts that others easily overlook most can be the most powerful and frequent form of thankfulness, and (3) gratitude can be chosen in spite of one’s situation or circumstances. I was also struck by the redemptive twist that occurred in nearly half of these narratives: out of something bad (suffering, adversity, affliction) came something good (new life or new opportunities) for which the person felt profoundly grateful. If you are troubled by an open memory or a past unpleasant experience, you might consider trying to reframe how you think about it using the language of thankfulness. The unpleasant experiences in our lives don’t have to be of the traumatic variety in order for us to gratefully benefit from them. Whether it is a large or small event, here are some additional questions to ask yourself: What lessons did the experience teach me? Can I find ways to be thankful for what happened to me now even though I was not at the time it happened? What ability did the experience draw out of me that surprised me? How am I now more the person I want to be because of it? Have my negative feelings about the experience limited or prevented my ability to feel gratitude in the time since it occurred? Has the experience removed a personal obstacle that previously prevented me from feeling grateful? Remember, your goal is not to relive the experience but rather to get a new perspective on it. Simply rehearsing an upsetting event makes us feel worse about it. That is why catharsis has rarely been effective. Emotional venting without accompanying insight does not produce change. No amount of writing about the event will help unless you are able to take a fresh, redemptive perspective on it. This is an advantage that grateful people have—and it is a skill that anyone can learn. About the Author Robert Emmons University of california, davis. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D. , is the world's leading scientific expert on gratitude. He is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and the founding editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology . He is the author of the books Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity and Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier . You May Also Enjoy Four Ways to Give Thanks Love, Honor, and Thank Gratitude is for Lovers Pay it Forward Five Ways Giving Thanks Can Backfire The art of the thank you. Essay on Life Is Not Easy Students are often asked to write an essay on Life Is Not Easy in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic. Let’s take a look… 100 Words Essay on Life Is Not Easy Life’s challenges. Life is not easy. It is filled with challenges that test our strength. Just like a rough road full of potholes and bumps, life also has its ups and downs. These challenges help us grow and become stronger. Learning from Mistakes Mistakes are a part of life. We all make them. But, they are not to be feared. Instead, they are lessons in disguise. They teach us what not to do. They help us improve and do better next time. Importance of Hard Work Nothing in life comes easy. We have to work hard to achieve our goals. Success is not handed to us on a silver platter. It is earned through dedication and effort. Hard work always pays off in the end. Dealing with Change Change is a constant part of life. It can be scary and uncomfortable. But it is also necessary. Change helps us adapt and grow. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and forces us to face new situations. Value of Relationships 250 words essay on life is not easy, understanding life’s challenges. Life is like a big journey filled with lots of ups and downs. It’s not always easy. Sometimes, life is like climbing a steep mountain. It’s hard and tiring. But, like a mountain climber, we have to keep going. We must face the hard times with courage. Why Life Is Not Easy Everyone in the world faces problems. These problems can be big or small. They can be about school, friends, family, or health. These problems make life difficult. But, they also teach us important lessons. They make us strong and wise. Learning From Difficulties When we face a problem, we learn how to solve it. This is a very important skill. It helps us in the future. If we face a similar problem again, we know what to do. We also learn to be patient and not to give up easily. Life’s Hardships Are Important Hardships in life are like a tough teacher. They teach us lessons that we remember for a long time. They help us grow and become better people. They also make us value the good times more. So, life is not easy. It’s full of challenges and problems. But, these difficulties are important. They teach us many things. They make us strong and wise. So, even though life is not easy, it’s still a beautiful journey. We should be brave and face all challenges with a smile. 500 Words Essay on Life Is Not Easy Introduction, challenges in life. Life throws many challenges at us. Some are small, like a hard math problem or a tough spelling test. Others are big, like moving to a new place or losing a loved one. These challenges can be hard to face. They can make us feel sad, scared, or confused. But they also help us grow and learn. Every challenge we overcome makes us stronger and more able to handle the next one. In life, we all make mistakes. Sometimes, these mistakes can make us feel bad. We might think we are not good enough or that we have failed. But mistakes are not always bad. They are a chance to learn and improve. When we make a mistake, we can look at what went wrong and how we can do better next time. This helps us grow and get better at handling life’s challenges. The Role of Hard Work Support from others. Even though life can be hard, we don’t have to face it alone. We have friends, family, and teachers who can help us when things get tough. They can give us advice, lend a listening ear, or just be there to make us laugh when we’re feeling down. Having support from others makes life’s challenges easier to face. Life is not always easy, but that’s what makes it worth living. The challenges we face, the mistakes we make, the hard work we put in, and the support we get from others all help us grow and become stronger. So, even though life can be hard, it is also a journey full of learning, growth, and love. And that’s what makes it beautiful. Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here . Happy studying! Leave a Reply Cancel reply Essay on Life for Students and Children 500+ words essay on life. First of all, Life refers to an aspect of existence. This aspect processes acts, evaluates, and evolves through growth. Life is what distinguishes humans from inorganic matter. Some individuals certainly enjoy free will in Life. Others like slaves and prisoners don’t have that privilege. However, Life isn’t just about living independently in society. It is certainly much more than that. Hence, quality of Life carries huge importance. Above all, the ultimate purpose should be to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is one which allows us to connect with our deeper self. Why is Life Important? One important aspect of Life is that it keeps going forward. This means nothing is permanent. Hence, there should be a reason to stay in dejection. A happy occasion will come to pass, just like a sad one. Above all, one must be optimistic no matter how bad things get. This is because nothing will stay forever. Every situation, occasion, and event shall pass. This is certainly a beauty of Life. Many people become very sad because of failures . However, these people certainly fail to see the bright side. The bright side is that there is a reason for every failure. Therefore, every failure teaches us a valuable lesson. This means every failure builds experience. This experience is what improves the skills and efficiency of humans. Probably a huge number of individuals complain that Life is a pain. Many people believe that the word pain is a synonym for Life. However, it is pain that makes us stronger. Pain is certainly an excellent way of increasing mental resilience. Above all, pain enriches the mind. The uncertainty of death is what makes life so precious. No one knows the hour of one’s death. This probably is the most important reason to live life to the fullest. Staying in depression or being a workaholic is an utter wastage of Life. One must certainly enjoy the beautiful blessings of Life before death overtakes. Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas How to Improve Quality of Life? Most noteworthy, optimism is the ultimate way of enriching life. Optimism increases job performance, self-confidence, creativity, and skills. An optimistic person certainly can overcome huge hurdles. Meditation is another useful way of improving Life quality. Meditation probably allows a person to dwell upon his past. This way one can avoid past mistakes. It also gives peace of mind to an individual. Furthermore, meditation reduces stress and tension. Pursuing a hobby is a perfect way to bring meaning to life. Without a passion or interest, an individual’s life would probably be dull. Following a hobby certainly brings new energy to life. It provides new hope to live and experience Life. In conclusion, Life is not something that one should take for granted. It’s certainly a shame to see individuals waste away their lives. We should be very thankful for experiencing our lives. Above all, everyone should try to make their life more meaningful. Customize your course in 30 seconds Which class are you in. Travelling Essay Picnic Essay Our Country Essay My Parents Essay Essay on Favourite Personality Essay on Memorable Day of My Life Essay on Knowledge is Power Essay on Gurpurab Essay on My Favourite Season Essay on Types of Sports Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Download the App 157 IMAGES Hard Life When Growing Up Free Essay Example ⇉Life is Hard But Life Must Go On Essay Example Zayn Malik Quote: “No matter how hard life is, don’t lose hope.” Zayn Malik Quote: “No matter how hard life is, don’t lose hope.” Why is Life so Hard? 9 Reasons Why Life is so Hard and What To Do About Zayn Malik Quote: “No matter how hard life is, don’t lose hope.” VIDEO Why should our life be hard? HARD WORDS FOR CLASS 3 SPELLING OF HARD WORDS FOR CLASS 5 Books are Our Real Friends Essay Hard work is the key to success Essay HARD WORDS FOR CLASS 4 COMMENTS Life Is Hard Life Is Difficult Essay Satisfactory Essays. 1566 Words. 7 Pages. Open Document. Life is Hard, Life is Difficult. My message today is titled Life is hard" and it's about how to live a great and meaningful life despite the fact that life is difficult. Everybody wants to be happy in life. We all want to live a perfect life. We want that great job or a successful ... Life is Hard Life is Hard. I believe that in everyone's life, there comes a point and time that life is hard and seems almost unbearable. All the great expectations people have for others and responsibilities a person is accountable for, makes it this way. At age 17, a junior in high school, I am able to say this, and have many examples to explain what ... Essay on Hardship In Life 500 Words Essay on Hardship In Life Understanding Hardship. Hardship is a tough part of life that everyone faces. It is like a big challenge or a difficult time that makes life hard. People may face hardships because of many reasons. Some people may not have enough money, while others may have problems in their family or at school. Essays About Life Challenges: Top 5 Examples and 6 Prompts Here's an example: After the death of a loved one, an individual will learn how to deal with the pain and continue living their life with a stronger faith. On the other hand, they may succumb to sadness and become depressed. 6. Overcoming Life Challenges. Life is a Struggle Essay examples Life is a Struggle Essay examples. Life is something that requires a considerable amount of physical and mental effort. Some are fortunate enough to have everything prepared for them. Such as some are born into money; some come across good fortune yet most work hard from the start to get some where in the world. Eight Brilliant Student Essays on What Matters Most in Life He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, "The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.". When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. Essay on Life Challenges 250 Words Essay on Life Challenges Introduction to Life Challenges. Life challenges are hard situations that we all face at different times. These challenges can be big or small, but they always teach us something important. They help us learn and grow. Types of Life Challenges. There are many types of life challenges. Essay on Life Struggles In the end, life struggles are part of being human. They are hard, but they can make you stronger. Remember, you are not alone. Everyone has struggles, and it's okay to ask for help. 250 Words Essay on Life Struggles Understanding Life Struggles. Life is a beautiful journey filled with ups and downs. How to Write a Powerful Hard Times in Life Essay Hard Times: A Story in Motion - Essay Sample. Considering the truly difficult times in life is actually very easy. Reminiscing on tough times will usually bring back unfortunate memories and feelings, and you will never truly be rid of them. The worse the experience, the stronger it sticks out in your mind, the easier it is to remember. Essay on Hardest Decision In Life Hard decisions can have a big impact on your life. They can lead to new opportunities, or close off old ones. They can change your relationships, your career, or your whole way of living. But hard decisions can also help you grow. They can teach you about yourself, about what you value, and about how to deal with tough situations. Surviving Tough Times by Building Resilience Surviving hardships can teach you important things about yourself and the world around you, strengthen your resolve, deepen your empathy, and in time enable you to evolve and grow as a human being. Building resilience can also help you to: Stay focused, flexible, and productive, in both good and bad times. Feel less afraid of new experiences or ... Essay On Hard Work for Students and Children When you work hard and lead a comfortable life filled with love that is also a success. Hard work must not limit to work but also your personal life. When you put in hard work in work and relationships, life will prosper. Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas. Conclusion of the Essay on Hard Work Essays About Life: Top 5 Examples Plus 7 Prompts 5 Essay Examples. 1. Essay on Life by Anonymous on Toppr.Com. "…quality of Life carries huge importance. Above all, the ultimate purpose should be to live a meaningful life. A meaningful life is one which allows us to connect with our deeper self.". Hard Work and the Good Life Essay. Hard Work and the Good Life. Essay. Christine Jeske. Hard Work and the Good Life A vocational audit for 2021. View Full Image. Work hard—life improves. These four words summarize one of the most prevalent narratives in Western culture about how to achieve the good life. As a graph, it would look something like this: 5 Valuable Life Lessons Struggle and Hardship Teaches You Allow these questions to transform your life and leadership. Although avoiding struggle is a natural biological response, it is also ironic because struggle can teach us many valuable lessons. ... Hard work and persistence during this trying period will toughen you up, build your character, and enhance your relationship with other people. Examples Of Hardships In My Life: [Essay Example], 597 words Loss of a Loved One. One of the most significant hardships I have faced in my life was the loss of a loved one. Losing someone close to you can be incredibly difficult to cope with, and it can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. When my grandfather passed away, I was devastated. Life Is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way November 15, 2022. To quote the title, life is hard, and Kieran Setiya tackles the subject of living philosophically with ferocious interrogations into the meaning of existence. He recommends a guide to human satisfaction: enjoy living well, as opposed to chasing ideal happiness or attaining perfection. 'Why Is Life So Hard?' How to Cope When You Feel This Way Part of why change is so hard is because it involves us changing our behavior. Research shows that changing our behavior isn't a linear process. Instead, it is one full of clumsy starts and stops, leaps in progress only to regress to former behaviors quickly. Don't let this discourage you. If anything, the fact that things are feeling hard ... Life Is Hard: How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way Type New. Format Hardcover. ISBN 9780593538210. A philosophical guide to facing life's inevitable hardships. There is no cure for the human condition: life is hard. But Kieran Setiya believes philosophy can help. He offers us a map for navigating rough terrain, from personal trauma to the injustice and absurdity of the world. How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times Contrasting the present with negative times in the past can make us feel happier (or at least less unhappy) and enhance our overall sense of well-being. This opens the door to coping gratefully. Try this little exercise. First, think about one of the unhappiest events you have experienced. Life is Hard There is no cure for the human condition: life is hard. But philosophy can help. It offers us a map for navigating rough terrain, from personal trauma to the injustice and absurdity of the world. ... Drawing on ancient and modern philosophy as well as fiction, comedy, social science, and personal essay, Life Is Hard is a book for this moment ... Essay on Life Is Not Easy Conclusion. Life is not always easy, but that's what makes it worth living. The challenges we face, the mistakes we make, the hard work we put in, and the support we get from others all help us grow and become stronger. So, even though life can be hard, it is also a journey full of learning, growth, and love. And that's what makes it beautiful. Essay on Life for Students and Children 500+ Words Essay on Life. First of all, Life refers to an aspect of existence. This aspect processes acts, evaluates, and evolves through growth. Life is what distinguishes humans from inorganic matter. Some individuals certainly enjoy free will in Life. assignment business plan case study course work essay report research paper speech term paper thesis