narrative essay about motherhood

Essays About Motherhood: Top 6 Examples And Prompts

 If you are writing essays about motherhood, see below our list of essay examples and prompts for inspiration.

Motherhood refers to the activities and experiences of a female parent in raising a child. It can be enjoyed not only through the biological process of giving birth but also through adoption or parenting the biological children of a spouse. 

Mothers have a vital role in society as they are responsible for shaping and empowering individuals who can make or break the world. There is an abundance of stories on mothers’ joys, challenges, and sacrifices that are always riveting and heartwarming to any reader. 

Here is our round-up of examples and writing prompts that can inspire you when writing your essay about motherhood: 

1. Housewife Vs. Working Mom: Enough With the Arguing! by R.L. 

• 2. “Mom Brain” Isn’t A Joke by Julie Bogen

3. Why Daughters Fight With Their Mothers by Eleanor Barkhorn

4. coming out to my mom: a letter to mothers of gay sons” by brandon baker, 5. why moms make better managers by all things talent team, 6. lessons from my mother by james wood, 1. sacrifices of mothers, 2. write about your mom, 3. mothers coping in the pandemic, 4. mothers as bosses, 5. mental health therapy for mothers, 6. workplace discrimination against mothers, 7. more support for single moms, 8. how to deal with toxic mothers, 9. feminism and motherhood, 10. motherhood in different cultures, top 6 essay examples.

“The point is there’s no one ultimate decision that fits all mothers… Enough with the ridicules and the sneering. If you are happy with your choice then enjoy it! You don’t need to make other people feel insufficient or even guilty for taking a different path.”

The essay urges working and stay-at-home moms to stop looking down on one another for having different life choices and perspectives on child-rearing. All mothers do all they can to nurture their families the best way they know. So instead of judging and attacking fellow moms, they should make peace with each other and have a group hug. You might also like these essays about your mom .

2. “ Mom Brain” Isn’t A Joke by Julie Bogen

“…[W]hat we think of as mom brain ‘is a product of the unequal burden that we have placed on women to do both the physical caregiving for children and also the logistical and mental work of caring for a whole household.’”

The author debunks the misconception of “mom brain” – forgetfulness of moms – caused by physiological changes from motherhood. Instead, she points the finger at chronic stress due to society’s unreasonable expectations for mothers to do all the heavy lifting at home and work. She then encourages society to step up its support for mothers through policy reforms and simple acts such as splitting chores.

“These conflicting desires — the mother’s desire to protect versus the daughter’s desire for approval — set the stage for painful misunderstandings and arguments.”

The author interviews a linguist who analyzes the reasons behind tense mother-daughter relationships and identifies the three most significant sources of friction in these bonds. The linguist also provides tips to mothers and daughters to ease tension and prevent future wars with one another. If you’re expecting, you might be interested in our guide on the best pregnancy books .

“… [T]here’s something inherently more weighty about a mother’s approval… So, if anyone’s going to love you unconditionally, it’s her. And if she’s not on board with you now, you muse in the moment, what does that say about you?”

Baker tells his story of coming out to his mother through email. The article also directly speaks to moms who have difficulty understanding the coming out of their children. At the very least, he encouraged confused mothers not to make their LGBT children feel less of a person as their opinions mean the world to their sons or daughters.

“Moms are the best managers because parenthood is one of the most basic forms of leadership. Tons of patience, empathy, planning, organising, innovation, and negotiation gets added to your personality with a child in your life.”

The article lists the top traits that make mothers the best managers. These qualities include their multitasking expertise, empathetic approach, comprehensive “Plan B” planning, excellent negotiation skills, and innovativeness, making them ideally suited to handle the pressures and demands in top positions.

“All sons adore their complicated mothers, in one way or another. But how powerful to encounter, from someone else, the beautifully uncomplicated statement ‘I adored her.'”

In the essay, the author reminisces the rich life of his mother, who recently passed away. But soon, he discovers the broader circle of his mother’s influence which makes him adore his mother more. 

10 Prompts on Essays About Motherhood

Here are our most thought-provoking prompts on motherhood:

While mothers find their true love and joy in being a mom, many gave up some luxuries and even ambitions, at least temporarily, to focus on raising their children. For instance, some women forego building their careers during their children’s critical years of development. For this prompt, list down and describe the common sacrifices of mothers. You can also write about what your mother had to give up to spend more time with you and let you live a happier life. 

Describe your mom. Talk about her antics, her antics, and her ways. You may recount your most joyful memories with your mom. In addition, list the lessons you learned from her or talk about how she lived her life. Put in as much information about the memories while still keeping the focus on your mom. 

The pandemic has flooded mothers with an overwhelming amount of challenges. For one, they were forced to balance professional life and homeschooling as daycare centers and schools were shut down. So, first, interview working mothers and write about their quarantine challenges and how they overcame that difficult phase. What lessons were learned? What kind of support would they like to have moving forward? Then, write their responses to these questions. 

Several studies show how many mothers stand proud at the top of the corporate ladder. Interview mothers who are CEOs, founders, or have managerial positions. Learn how they gained their positions while dealing with responsibilities at home. Next, find out what women CEOs bring to the table that makes them the leaders their organizations need. Finally, ask what advice they would give to mothers aspiring to be bosses in their workplace.

With most moms being the primary caregivers to their children, they need stable mental health in performing their responsibilities. So, explain why some mothers feel sad and hopeless after birth. Then, explore the different treatment strategies to fight depression or anxiety during and after pregnancy. 

Denying women a job because of their motherhood is unconstitutional. Yet, this practice remains pervasive in several workplaces. Research on the standard employment challenges of mothers and existing laws that prohibit work discrimination against mothers, if any. Recommend some ways how the government and the corporate world can fight work biases against moms and help them prosper in their jobs. 

Single moms face a myriad of prejudices. Some critics use existing data and studies showing that children of single moms tend to be school dropouts or even criminals. Write about how government and the whole of society can step in to stop the judgment on mothers. First, paint a vivid picture of the struggles of single moms to provide context. Then, suggest reforms that could best aid them in raising their children. 

Write about the traits that make a mother toxic. Some examples could be their lack of boundaries, self-centeredness, and being overly critical. Then, write about the negative impact these traits have on daughters’ mental and emotional well-being. To conclude, you can discuss the treatment options to mend rifts between mother-daughter relationships. 

Feminism and motherhood have often been at loggerheads with one another—research what radical feminists say about motherhood. Dive deep into why they find motherhood contradicting the sacrosanct feminist principles. But on the other hand, you can also explore how feminism devalued the role of mothers in society. 

Explore different cultural standards on how mothers raise children. In addition, you can describe unique styles of motherhood across countries. It would also be interesting to tackle the different cultural practices in helping women have a baby or post-care traditions. Finally, you can also explore how hospitals and healthcare professionals tailor their services to accommodate these special cultural needs. 

For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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Narrative Essay Becoming a Mother

• Categories: Mother

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Published: Mar 14, 2024

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Motherhood Changes Us All

By Jessica Grose May 5, 2020

• Share full article

The most memorable moment of becoming a mother often involves a single day. You gave birth, or the child someone else baked inside comes into your life. It’s a before, and an after. But that first day is only the beginning of an identity shift that is ongoing and eternal. The person you are after the first year of motherhood is not the same person you are after year three, year 10 or year 40.

That’s why, in honor of Mother’s Day, we decided to look at the whole messy, glorious, complicated story of identity and motherhood.

• How Motherhood Changed My... 
• Portraits of Single Moms by Choice 
• This Is Your Brain on Motherhood 
• Does My Child’s Name Erase My Identity? 
• Impersonating Motherhood 
• Mothers Don't Have to Be Martyrs 
• Becoming a New Mom With ‘Old Depression’ 
• I’m Darker Than My Daughter. Here’s Why It Matters. 
• When Your Name Becomes ‘Mom’ 

We have short essays about how becoming a mother changed the way we look at ourselves, from our relationships to our own ambitions, as well as failure, body image and more, written by Amber Tamblyn, Casey Wilson, Nikole Hannah-Jones, Angela Garbes, Robin Tunney, Jennifer Weiner and several others. There’s a piece by Jenni Gritters about how motherhood rewires your brain, and another by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., a perinatal psychiatrist, about how not to lose yourself when you become a parent.

During this coronavirus pandemic, it can be hard to know who we are as people, as the barriers between our public and maternal selves have collapsed in ways we never considered. But if there’s one thing to take away from all of these stories, it’s that your identity as a mother isn’t fixed; it’s likely to change in ways that will surprise and maybe even delight, as you and your children grow.

A Guide to Parenting Now

Some anxious parents are choosing “sleepunders” picking kids up just before bedtime  — or even staying over with them. Here are the pros and cons to that approach.

Many parents feel the need to stuff their children’s days full of activities to keep them entertained and engaged. But boredom has its virtues .

Being a modern parent means juggling many opinions on how to do it correctly. The good news is that there’s no one way to do it right .

Parental burnout is real. Take this test  to clarify how depleted you feel — so hopefully you can get the help you need.

More American women are having kids later in life. We asked mothers who had children after 40  to share their experiences.

Millennial parents, guided by influencers, are now proudly try-hard, and they're embracing a new “gentle parenting” approach .

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Essay on My Mother for Schools Students and Children

500+ words essay on my mother.

My mother is an ordinary woman she is my superhero. In every step of my, she supported and encouraged me. Whether day or night she was always there for me no matter what the condition is. Furthermore, her every work, persistence, devotion, dedication, conduct is an inspiration for me. In this essay on my mother, I am going to talk about my mother and why she is so special to me.

Why I Love My Mother So Much?

I love her not because she is my mother and we should respect our elders. I respect her because she has taken care of me when I was not able to speak. At that time, she has taken care of all my needs when I wasn’t able to speak.

Additionally, she taught me how to walk, speak, and take care of myself. Similarly, every bigger step that I have taken in my life is all because of my mother. Because, if she hasn’t taught me how to take small steps then I won’t be able to take these bigger step.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

She is an essence of truthfulness, love, and sincerity. Another reason is that she showers her family with her blessing and live. Furthermore, she gives us everything but never demand anything in return. The way she cares for everyone in the family inspires me to the same in my future.

Also, her love is not just for the family she treats every stranger and animals the same way she did to me. Due to, this she is very kind and sensible towards the environment and animals.

Get English Important Questions here

Her Strengths

Although she is not physically very strong she faces every hurdle of her life and of the family too. She motivates me to be like her and never submit in difficult times. Above all, my mother encourages me to improve my all-round skills and studies. She motivates me to try again and again till I get success in it.

A Companion of Trouble

Whenever I was in trouble or scolded by dad I run towards my mother as she is the only one that can save me from them. Whether a small homework problem or a bigger problem she was always there for me.

When I was afraid of the dark she would become my light and guide me in that darkness. Also, if I can’t sleep at night she would hold my head on her lap until I fell asleep. Above all, she never leaves my side even in the hardest of times.

Every mother is special for her children. She is a great teacher, a lovely friend, a strict parent. Also, she takes cares of the need of the whole family. If there is anyone out there who loves us more than our mother is only God. Not just for my mother but for every mother out there who lives her life for her family deserves praiseworthy applause.

Frequently Asked Questions for You

Q.1 When did the Mother’s Day be celebrated in India and why?

A.1 Mother’s Day is celebrated on the Second Sunday in the month of May. It’s celebrated to appreciate the hard work that our mother’s do in their life. And the sacrifices that they make to keep their family happy.

Q.2 Why mother is so special?

A.2 They are special because they are mothers. They are the superwomen that do all the housework, teach and take care of their children, looks after her husband, do her job and at the end of the day if you ask for her help she says ‘yes’ with a smile on her face.

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Writing Motherhood

Parenting blogs and magazines have become ubiquitous, but is the literature of motherhood still undervalued?

I was a writer long before I became a mother, but in 1998, with the birth of my daughter, Sophia, my writing self changed with the emergence of my mother self. I exploded with energy and creativity—and new material. I wrote about Sophia often, and she remains a source of inspiration. By 2002, a mother of three children under the age of four, I wrote in any spots I could find (haven’t we all tried to escape to a closet?), sometimes for only fifteen minutes at a clip. My writing became as primal to me as my desire to have children had been. My view of the world was forever changed; I looked at every situation and everything I read through my mother self.

At the time, I was eager to share my writing but was aware of only one literary magazine publishing essays, fiction, and poetry related specifically to parenting. One literary magazine that talked about issues I cared about. Brain, Child became my lifeline; in its pages, I found my tribe. It was a magazine that did not focus on “How to Install a Car Seat.” Nor did it focus on experts providing parental advice. It was a place where women talked about things that mattered to them—and to me. When I read Brain, Child , I felt less alone, less crazy. Not at all judged.

In 2012, a mother of five, I went to Brain, Child ’s website to submit an essay, only to find a notice saying the magazine was no longer taking submissions; they were ceasing publication. I crumbled. Actually, I cried. And in almost the same keystroke, I e-mailed the founders and asked, “Can I buy it?” A month later, my husband, Eric, and I rented a U-Haul and drove to Lexington, Virginia, where Brain, Child was then based. I came back to Connecticut with several thousand back issues, a dozen filing cabinets, and more boxes than could actually fit in the truck.

People asked, “Why would you buy a literary magazine for mothers?” The short answer was because I believed in the work of mother writers. I wanted to keep publishing it. I wanted to help mothers of all different circumstances and backgrounds connect through personal stories. I believed “mother literature” deserved to be elevated and preserved as its own art form. But there is still a long way to go before the subject of motherhood in writing is as valued as it should be.

More and more, I see that writers (both mothers and fathers) are exploring the darker truths of parenting: the failures and the mistakes, the challenges. They wonder. And worry. And hope.

Now, as the owner and editor of Brain, Child , I read hundreds of essays each month. I read stories that hurt and stories that heal. I laugh, I cry, and I connect. More and more, I see that writers (both mothers and fathers) are exploring the darker truths of parenting: the failures and the mistakes, the challenges. They wonder. And worry. And hope. There are many of us who, through exploration and crafted language, are finding out how the experience of mothering impacts our personas, both in real life and on the page. This makes for intriguing reading. I love what I do as both a writer and a publisher. I am awed by mothers’ willingness to reveal their deepest personal stories—an autism diagnosis, the loss of a child, a five-year infertility struggle—and create stunning writing in the process. Such stories need to be read, shared, and saved for posterity.

Recently, I asked our Brain, Child writers’ group how writing about motherhood has changed. The overwhelming majority said the writing has changed for the better; it is “much more honest.” Many agree there is solidarity among us and that moms feel less alone because there is more willingness to share stories and express vulnerability.

“Writers today share the realistic details of difficult situations; they don’t whitewash the experiences of motherhood,” says Milda M. De Voe, author and founder of Pen Parentis, a nonprofit organization that serves as a resource for writers who are also parents. “And parents seem to have found comfort in this new type of community, which talks about substantive parenting issues. We write and we connect even more now due to social media. Social media has changed the way parents connect and how we see ourselves, and others, as parents.”

As the writing has evolved, so have the publications that publish parenting narratives. When Brain, Child began, there were only a handful of parenting essay markets, but now, even mainstream publications such as the Washington Post and the New York Times publish parenting narratives. Both of those papers have popular, well-respected parenting blogs. And there are literally hundreds of thousands of magazines, websites, blogs, and books that publish parenting narratives. Twenty years ago, our mothers would never have thought about reading a blog—let alone writing one. Today, in my circles at least, it is the norm for a mom to have a blog. As of 2014, according to eMarketer, 4.4 million American moms blog regularly, whether about parenting or some other subject.

Twenty years ago, our mothers would never have thought about reading a blog—let alone writing one.

In the early days of Brain, Child , mothers met over coffee or in playgroups—and, of course, they still do. But now, with the Internet and social media, our opportunities to connect 24/7 have grown exponentially. In our efforts to develop Brain, Child ’s online community, we’ve grown from 7,000 Facebook fans in 2012 to almost 250,000 fans today. There is, indeed, a market for literature of and about motherhood.

And yet, how many of us admit that mothering is our primary subject matter? Even as parenting websites and blogs burst onto the Internet, one after another, creating a huge opportunity for writers whose themes include parenting, it’s still a struggle to convince people to value such writing and see it as real writing. In a 2014 essay, “The Mother As She Writes,” Andrea Lani confessed her resistance to telling people she writes about motherhood:

I imagine that, to other people, motherhood lacks the narrative weight of war and social upheaval, the excitement of werewolves and zombies, the sensuality of erotica and romance. On a deeper level, I am embarrassed to say I write about motherhood because I think people won’t take me seriously, as a person and as a writer.

Today, Lani says she is less reluctant to say that her primary writing topic is motherhood, although she doesn’t necessarily “shout it from the rooftops.” “As more mothers put pen to page and write about the joys and challenges of raising children, eventually, the writing will attain the status of art,” she says.

Or will it? In a recent essay published by Vela , Rufi Thorpe writes, “I get annoyed when women’s magazines try to edit my motherhood out of my work. I get depressed when they won’t run a piece unless I take out any mention of my having children.” In my own life, when asked, I say I publish a magazine. Only if pressed do I say I publish a literary magazine for mothers.

There still seems to be a need to dismiss motherhood as a subject worthy of real literature. “I think it’s still an upward battle for literature about motherhood to be taken seriously. In many reviews, the genre of motherhood literature is gutted before the reviewer grudgingly acknowledges what works well about the book at hand,” says Kate Hopper, author of Use Your Words: A Writing Guide for Mothers and Ready for Air: A Journey through Premature Motherhood .

I have built my life around writing and publishing personal narratives about motherhood because I think that this genre is important, that the dark sides need to be shown with the light sides, and that our stories need to be told in order to advance the canon of literature written by mothers. In addition, I believe this writing heals and helps, and provides a conduit for meaningful connections. Early on, I was a lonely mother. I wrote about my children in small spiral-bound notebooks, which I stuffed in my dresser drawer. I never valued the essays I was writing or tried to publish them. It has been an honor to see mothers’ stories come out of such notebooks all over the world and arrive in my e-mail. I love to find the next best story. Because of this, now as a mother, I am far from alone; I have handfuls of incredible women whose words I read and relate to. I am proud to publish the work of these women.

These days, I tell myself I write and publish essays about love and loss, pressure and postpartum, siblings and sexuality. I write about shame, about despair, about depression. I consider myself a writer writing about the human condition, a writer who also happens to be a mother, and that makes me the lucky one.

*Illustration by Stephen Knezovich

Rewriting the Narrative of Motherhood for Millennial Women

Millennial women are redefining what motherhood and balance can look like today..

Posted August 29, 2021 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

• Millennial working mothers are being challenged to devise a new version of motherhood that requires less sacrifice and more self-awareness.
• Redefining the narrative of motherhood requires deep internal reflection about what you were taught about motherhood and where you stand with it.
• Community and support are valuable in working toward a redefined stance in how one shows up as a mother today.

It is well known that the thought of motherhood comes with certain assumptions from all walks of life—from the individuals who liken motherhood to a "ball and chain," to others who believe the journey is an invitation to a prestigious group. These days, many millennial women are finding that their assumptions were misguided—and it is through this realization that more and more people are trying to rewrite the narrative of motherhood.

Millennial women are redefining what motherhood and balance can look like. They are pushing themselves to take ownership of what motherhood means to them and not relying on the narrative that has been pushed on them by society: a narrative in which self-sacrifice is the main theme. Women and mothers have been taught that in order to be a good parent, they must completely neglect themselves . That means that they are expected to neglect themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally, as well as neglect their careers. It is because of this narrative that many women have opted to forgo having children.

However, women who do have children are trying to step away from the theme of self-neglect and instead embrace a form of motherhood that prioritizes their needs outside of that role. They are saying, “We can be moms, but also show up for ourselves as well.” Through that notion, we redefine the narrative of motherhood.

How Can We Redefine Motherhood?

Redefining motherhood starts by examining the way one views their own mother. When reflecting on the sacrifices made by the mothers or mother figures in your life, how do you feel? Do you feel pity for all they endured? Do you feel anger towards them for choosing martyrdom instead of strength? Do you feel proud of their selfless nature? Is there a conflicting feeling of all these emotions combined?

With this in mind, girls who grow up seeing their mother figures dim themselves in order to let their children shine may grow into women who view being a mother as losing the part of themselves that makes them special. Through examining the relationship between mother figure and daughter, one can find a balance between being a mother and being a person.

Millennial women today have opportunities to take care of themselves in a way their elders did not. With the inclusion of support in the form of wellness consultants, therapists, psychologists, and support groups, women today are able to better help themselves. They are realizing that society’s expectations of motherhood have been so unrealistically high that they have been figuratively shackled by these expectations for centuries. With these advancements in mind, the modern woman can change the way motherhood is performed.

When we talk about "rewriting the narrative of motherhood," it can seem like an abstract concept. The goal here is to define what that means for you as an individual. To start, here are five steps that will help you to begin to rewrite the narrative of motherhood.

Step 1: Who Taught You What You Know About Motherhood?

Figure out where you learned how to become a mom. If you don't know where you've come from, it's going to be hard to change the path ahead. Take a moment to yourself right now, and think to yourself “Where did I learn to become a mother?”

Many learn in more than one way. When watching their caregivers, they subconsciously take in what it means to be a mom from their childhood upbringing and family upbringing.

Another way women learn is through watching their peers who are mothers. When in spaces with these women, you may pay attention to how they show up in motherhood, the pressures that they feel, the expectations they place on themselves, and the ones people have of them.

Lastly, you learn what it means to be a mom from society. Through watching TV shows or commercials, listening to podcasts, or by observing how people in society talk about motherhood, you learn about what is expected of mothers.

Once again, you cannot make changes to your relationship with motherhood if you don't first recognize where your preconceived notions originate from.

Step 2: What Feels Right About What You've Learned?

When thinking about what you've learned, you should ask yourself what feels natural, organic, and right about the narratives you've observed and what does not. These reasons will be unique to you and will foster your individual relationship with motherhood. By proxy, it will also help create a guideline of what you want motherhood to resemble.

Step 3: What Can You Change?

Now that you've discovered what aspects of motherhood you like and the ones that you don't, you will have to decide which parts of this preconceived narrative you want to keep for your motherhood experience. In addition, you also have to decide which parts of you actively want to change.

For example, as a society, we are often taught that mothers have to cook, clean, and take care of the household while also being nurturing and emotionally receptive towards their children. For some, this will feel oppressive since it is a very high expectation for one person to fulfill. When realizing that this is the narrative that has been pushed through in a number of ways, the modern woman could redefine motherhood by recognizing her own aversion towards cooking and cleaning and promptly remove that aspect from what motherhood means to her.

Step 4: Recognizing Guilt

When you try to rewrite narratives of motherhood, you may start to feel guilty. You have to challenge and manage your guilt throughout this process.

Whether it be because you feel you are dishonoring your elders, because you are not performing in the way your peers are, or because of societal pressures, it's common to feel guilty for choosing a form of motherhood that is unique to your capabilities and needs. Know that guilt is a liar . It is only there to make you doubt yourself and the change that you are making in order to preserve your individuality. Keep in mind that the moment you decide to follow step one, you are rebelling against the pressures that tell you a mom should self-sacrifice and self-neglect.

When guilt rears its ugly head, you must take a moment to challenge that feeling and tell yourself that you are not doing anything wrong. You are doing something for yourself, and doing something for yourself is good for you and your family. Then, you move forward because you cannot allow the guilt to stop you in that moment. With time, you will begin to manage and walk with guilt more easily than before.

Unlearning the notion that motherhood is self-sacrifice is going to take some time. So, while you may never completely erase the guilt the creeps up on you, you can manage the feeling. With more practice in challenging your guilt, you'll likely realize that you can walk with it with more ease. As you start to modify parts of your motherhood experience, guilt is going to come and make you believe that you are doing something wrong. But this isn't true.

Step 5: Support

Finally, you have to seek support throughout the process. Motherhood alone can feel very isolating, but it can feel even more desolate when you add in the fact that you are trying to change what you've been taught about being a mother. The people that you would have otherwise sought support from may not be able to help you through this process since they may have accepted the societal pressures of motherhood. Therefore, you may have to build a community of additional support with like-minded people. As you travel on this journey, realize that you do not have to do it alone.

You can find support through programs such as Balanced Working Mama which specializes in rewriting the narrative of motherhood. Too many women have gone through life not prioritizing themselves, but you can have a community of women who have also discovered their power and knowledge to change this.

I hope these tips will help to push you along the journey of rewriting the narrative of motherhood.

Amber Thornton, Psy.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist, Motherhood Wellness Consultant, and founder of Balanced Working Mama.

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Personal Narrative Essay: Influence Of My Mom

In today’s life, each and every being lives by some type of influence experienced during their life, whether that influence be by a specific person or thing. If I were asked to name a significant influence in my life, my answer would be my mother. My mother has been the greatest influence in my life. My mother has been a figure of many, including my teacher, best friend, and role model my entire life. She taught me how to be independent, work hard, and persevere through everything that is thrown my way. Every lesson learned and quality acquired from my mother has helped shape me into the person I am today.

Growing up, my mother has always been a person who was quick to do everything herself, and an especially hard worker who never gave up regardless of any difficulties she may have been faced with. As mentioned, my mother has influenced me my entire life, but a specific time was during my high school years. Education is something that was very valuable to my mother, especially because she was unable to have one. She taught me the importance of working hard and getting an education. She always pushed me to be the best, no matter what difficulties I ran into. She was always next to me, making sure that I was the best in everything that I did. No matter what happened, she was always there to guide and aid me. Her influence helped me get through anything that was thrown my way. My mother is an amazing example of someone who is independent, hard working, and a perseverant. Seeing all that my mother was capable of doing despite any encounter, good or bad, has made a lasting impression on me, leaving me with some of the most valuable lessons in life and shaping me into who I am today. 

Without the influence of my mom, I truly believe that I wouldn’t have learned some of the most important lessons that I did and would not know how to push myself to my true potential. Growing up and watching my mom be an independent and hard working person helped shape me to who I am today and I am forever grateful for her influence. 

This question is not something that could always be easily answered because of the many influences we are surrounded by, whether that be just the people we are surrounded with or outside influences of the world. I myself would most likely not be able to answer it if asked a couple years ago, but as I am growing older myself, I have realized the power of my mother’s influence. My mother’s independence, hard work, and perseverance has left a lasting influence on me. Throughout my life, I have used every experience whether it be of my own or an experience I saw of my mother and every quality as an influence that has served me my entire life and made me into the person I am today.

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Ambivalent Narratives of Motherhood and Mothering: From Normal and Natural to Not-at-all

• Open Access
• First Online: 17 March 2023

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• Helena Wahlström Henriksson 9 ,
• Anna Williams 10 &
• Margaretha Fahlgren 10  

Part of the book series: Palgrave Macmillan Studies in Family and Intimate Life ((PSFL))

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This chapter introduces the volume by outlining some crucial scholarly histories: the feminist study of motherhood and mothering, and the literary study of mothers in fiction and life writing, across many differences. Since mothers, motherhood, and mothering not only are defined by physical and material experiences but also take shape in narratives—in stories and recorded accounts—these also need to be continuously studied and theorized if we are to understand the culturally specific meanings of motherhood. The chapter then introduces each of the separate studies in the volume. These variously demonstrate that literary representations of mothers and mothering foreground the ways that parenthood and parenting for women are imbricated with dimensions like class, race, age, and nationality, as well as how motherhood is connected to living a heterosexual, lesbian, queer, or trans everyday life. In original analyses of a range of representations, from absent/missing mothers to highly present ones, the studies that comprise this book engage in a dialogue with the previous research, raising questions about how motherhood and mothering are marked by absence and/or presence and by profound ambivalences, about how maternal perspectives and voices gain space or mix with filial voices in the narratives, and about how mothers are constructed in relation to ideals and norms of motherhood.

This publication has received funding from the European Union’s Horizon 2020 research and innovation programme under grant agreement No 952366, and from the Centre for Gender Research and the Department of Literature at Uppsala University.

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Neapolitan Mothers: Three Generations of Women, from Representation to Reality

Models of Devotion?: The Rhetoric of Ambivalence and Admonition in Late Antique and Early Christian Discourse on Women and Motherhood

The chapters in this volume focus on contemporary (representations of) meanings of motherhood and mothering. Together, they demonstrate the significance of literary narratives for understanding, and critiquing, motherhood and mothering as social phenomena and subjective experiences. They all contextualize motherhood and mothering in terms of their particular national and cultural location, in analyses of texts by authors from Canada/Lebanon, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United States. They move between narratives about mothers who are firmly placed in one national context, and those who are in “in-between” positions due to migrant experiences. This opens for comparison and invites discussions about how representations of mothers, mothering, and motherhood are impacted by different national and cultural circumstances. Each chapter also explores how motherhood is textualized; that is, how tone, voice, literary style, language, structure, and genre contribute to building representations of maternal (in)experience and mothering practices. Hence, the studies in this book work in interdisciplinary fashion, to engage literary/humanities as well as social science perspectives.

These chapters also variously demonstrate that in literature as in life, motherhood is constructed intersectionally: gender, class, race, nationality, sexuality, and age all impact upon how motherhood can be done, as do migrant experiences. Offering a diversity of critical responses and theorizations of motherhood and mothering, and drawing upon literary studies of the construction of motherhood (Bassin et al. 1994 ), these original analyses address a range of representations, meanwhile raising crucial questions about how motherhood and mothering are marked by absence and/or presence and by profound ambivalences, about how maternal perspectives and voices gain space or mix with filial voices in the narratives, and about negotiating ideals and norms of motherhood. The contributions draw upon a variety of theorizations of motherhood, from literary theory, cultural studies, memory studies, social science theory, gender and queer theory, and psychoanalysis. Furthermore, the chapters variously foreground and link together the themes central to this volume: embodied experience/maternal embodiment; notions of what is “normal” or natural (or not) about motherhood; maternal health and illness; mother-daughter relations; maternality and memory; and the (im)possibilities of giving voice to the mother. Hence, taken all together, the chapters in this volume offer a broad range of perspectives in terms of geopolitical places, thematic concerns, theoretical approaches, and interdisciplinary takes on investigating motherhood and mothering.

The twenty-first century is marked by often contradictory tendencies regarding mothers and mothering. Many countries in the global North—the place from which the contributors in this volume are speaking—have seen measures toward increased gender equality in terms of more equal expectations on men and women to provide childcare as well as hold jobs outside the home. This can be interpreted as a relatively lessened differentiation between the worlds of fathers and mothers. Furthermore, assisted reproductive technologies have become increasingly accessible. Assisted reproductive technologies (ARTs) separate sexuality from procreation, gestational parents from genetic parents, and social from biological parents, a development which is liberating for some and contributes to expanding contemporary definitions of parenthood far beyond the genetic/biological. Yet, in the same time period, there also seems to have been an increased idealization of “natural” motherhood and maternal instincts, and there is a new conservatism in Northern Europe that formulates motherhood as a full-time job and asks women to turn away from paid employment.

The French historian Élisabeth Badinter ( 2011 ) captures this latter tendency and theorizes it as an ongoing process that is visible in several areas of the public and private spheres. “Over the last three decades, almost without our noticing, there has been a revolution in our idea of motherhood. This revolution was silent, prompting no outcry or debate, even though its goal was momentous: to put motherhood squarely back at the heart of women’s lives.” Badinter puts her finger on the “resurrection” of motherhood as determining women’s lives and formulates it as a form of backlash to feminist movements. Whether the idea that motherhood is “at the heart of women’s lives” was ever truly dead, is, however, a matter of contention.

While it is not the goal of this volume to determine the causes behind the (simultaneous) developments outlined above, as literary scholars and gender researchers we see the need for investigating these different pulls and tendencies, how they speak to or against one another, and how they find expression in texts. Therefore, investigating definitions and practices of motherhood and mothering, as well as their effects, is a central concern of this volume. As the following chapters variously demonstrate, motherhood can indeed be understood as a “contested terrain” (Glenn et al. 1994 ; see also O’Reilly 2004 ).

As we, the editors, have undertaken this project, from our Scandinavian viewpoint, we have had reason to reflect upon differences between Swedish/Scandinavian research, and research from Europe and North America on motherhood. One reason why research on motherhood and mothering in the humanities and social sciences has not been strong in Sweden in the early twenty-first century may be the scholarly focus on masculinity and fatherhood, which has overshadowed questions about reproduction, subjectivity, and identity from the perspective of women. We contend that this is a consequence for the research of gender equality-oriented politics to strengthen the position and visibility of men as parents. In gender studies scholarship in Scandinavia, unlike fatherhood (studies), motherhood (studies) has tended to raise concerns about “biologism” and essentialism, and feminist scholars have been wary of the faulty equalization of “women” and “mothers” to the point where studies of motherhood have seemingly been avoided. However, sophisticated gender theories of bodies and embodiment and post-constructionist theory allow for new kinds of approaches to women as mothers, and to maternal bodies as lived and culturally encoded. At present, we see a shift toward more studies on motherhood in this location. While we are a part of this shift, we are also wary that in the currently increasingly conservative political climate in which we write this introduction, women scholars focusing of motherhood may be taken as a sign of a “natural” interest, instead of a sorely needed addition to previous literary scholarship and to family studies generally.

Motherhood, Mothering, and Narrative

To say that motherhood is a gendered concept is a severe understatement. Notions of motherhood are still largely based upon the connection between woman–biology–body in relation to social functions: women, by giving birth and nursing, have supposedly natural ties with the child. The notion of the good mother is still a hegemonic discourse inherent in daily life as well as in institutional practice. This discursive construct is both explicit and implicit, creating expectations and demands that distinctively separate the situation of women as mothers from that of men as fathers.

Motherhood is a phenomenon that concerns women all around the world. This is not to say that all women mother, or are mothers, but it is to say that all women are affected in one way or another by motherhood, by its absence or presence. Furthermore, motherhood—which we take to mean the gendered situation of being a mother—and mothering—which we take to mean the gendered practice of parenting in terms of everyday care and sustenance—are ongoing day and night in all kinds of societies and environments.

As a phenomenon, motherhood is diverse and multifaceted. Already in 1997, Elaine Tuttle Hansen observed: “What is said by and about mothers—full-time mothers, surrogate mothers, teenage mothers, adoptive mothers, mothers who live in poverty, mothers with briefcases—is increasingly complicated and divisive. Language is stretched to describe the bewildering fragmentation of a time in which one child may have a genetic mother, a gestational mother, and a custodial mother, each of whom is a different person” (Hansen 1997 , 1). “Mother,” then, as Hansen observes, may mean many things. Motherhood is often marked by ambivalences, fraught with mixed and at times conflicted feelings, which may also change over a lifetime. All these diversities are further compounded by different power dimensions beyond gender, including class, race, nationality, sexuality, age, and ability. In the twenty-first century, debates about transgender people, and about who counts as a woman, also impact on ideas about motherhood and who can be (understood as) a mother.

But motherhood and mothering are not only defined by physical and material experiences. They also come to life through stories and recorded accounts. In narratives, in texts, motherhood gains meaning on existential and symbolic levels. On many occasions, it is these narratives, and the maternal experiences they express, whether the narratives are fictional(ized) or “documentary” that stir up debate, call attention to controversial issues and scrutinize conditions that clash with ideals and established perceptions. Among recent examples of such narratives and ensuing debates are the cases of women’s stories about regretting motherhood in Israel (Donath 2017 ; Heffernan and Stone 2021 ), the voicing of maternal discontent in the UK (Cusk 2001 ), and a reluctance to become a mother in Canada (Heti 2018 ). Other examples are the debate caused by a collection of essays about life as a divorced mother in Sweden titled Happy, happy ! (Sveland 2011 ), or by women choosing to be “solo” mothers (Wahlström and Bergnehr 2021 ; cf. Hertz 2006 ). What these examples have in common is that they give space to the voice of the (would-be) mother herself. The presence and absence of such perspectives in the public debate, in literary representation as such, and in what continuously takes shape as “popular culture” or the literary canon bears some scrutiny. For, while motherhood is a global phenomenon, it has yet to become an integrated part of the themes and tropes that are regularly studied in university courses in comparative literature and other relevant subjects. We therefore see the present volume as a contribution to international literary scholarship in general, as well as to “motherhood scholarship” in particular.

It is one of our fundamental points of departure for this volume that disregarding meanings of motherhood and mothering is unhelpful for feminism, since it is a experience that affects all women, as well as all men. In taking this standpoint, we are thinking with Patrice DiQuinzio’s ( 1999 ) reflections on narrative and subjectivity. DiQuinzio argues that mothering is a site of contention not only in political culture but also in feminist theory. She suggests that the goals of feminist theory itself need to be reconceptualized, and argues that feminism’s resistance to “essential motherhood” has led to a general erasure of motherhood as a feminist concern. With Sara Ruddick ( 1990 ), DiQuinzio emphasizes narrativity as central for understanding the importance of motherhood.

While it is true that motherhood and mothering take shape in narratives across many textual genres, from fictional literature to spoken narratives, from political statements to policy documents, we focus here on two main genres: first, literary fiction and second, life writing, that is, auto/biography and memoirs. The twenty-first century has seen the publication of a broad variety of fictional narratives, autobiographical writing, and essays that explore the fundamental impact of motherhood on individuals, families, and society, and taken all together, these texts do seem to constitute a “wave” of writing about maternal experience.

With its focus on literary representations, the present volume offers insights into contemporary reflections on motherhood and mothering that sometimes are part of ongoing public debates, but at other times cannot be found in public discourses. Via its typically extended narratives, literature offers the possibility to dwell upon topics that are more hurriedly abandoned in public debate and media, or that are perhaps not commonly voiced in the “first person” because they are taboo. Literature therefore is a unique source of insight into human conditions and often envisions circumstances that are as yet concealed or marginalized in society at large. It has a unique ability to convey and combine emotional, linguistic, and artistic dimensions in “storying motherhood” (Wilson and Davidson 2014 ). Furthermore, literary representations of mothers and mothering foreground the ways that parenthood and parenting for women are imbricated with dimensions like class, race, age, and nationality, as well as how motherhood is connected to living a heterosexual, lesbian, queer, or trans everyday life. Literature complicates questions about motherhood and non-motherhood, about norms, inclusivity, and diversity.

Research on Literary Representations of Motherhood

Literary scholarship on motherhood has been developing especially since the 1980s. Research on representations of motherhood in literature has focused on literatures of specific nations (Rye 2009 ; Jeremiah 2003 ) or geopolitical areas, as in Reading/Speaking/Writing the Mother Text: Essays on Carribbean Women’s Writing (Herrera and Sanmartín 2015 ), Motherhood in African Literature and Culture (Akujobi 2011 ), and Motherhood in Literature and Culture: Interdisciplinary Perspectives from Europe (Rye et al. 2018 ). In the United States, leading African-American women writers like Toni Morrison have been intent on exploring the impact of slavery and its aftermath on motherhood and mothering, and research on their authorship, like Toni Morrison and Mothers/Motherhood (Baxter and Satz 2017 ), adds crucial dimensions to studies of motherhood in literature that also have relevance across disciplines and interdisciplines.

Feminist studies have long centered on women’s writing about mothers, in fiction and in life writing. Twenty-first-century studies only rarely break this pattern, as most studies focus fictional narratives or autobiographical writing about becoming a mother from within an embodied maternal experience (Podnieks and O’Reilly 2010 ). Motherhood memoirs also extend further across conventional boundaries for defining “mothering” to collaborative “mother-work,” as demonstrated in Elizabeth Podnieks’ study of nanny narratives as “matroethnographies” (Podnieks 2021 ).

Feminist literary studies on motherhood in the 1980s and 1990s frequently drew upon, developed, and expanded psychoanalytic theories. E. Ann Kaplan’s study of melodrama in literature and film Motherhood and Representation ( 1992 /2013) is a classic in the field, which, like other crucial studies from the 1980s and 1990s such as Marianne Hirsch’s The Mother-Daughter Plot ( 1989 ) and Elaine Tuttle Hansen’s Mother Without Child ( 1997 ), continues to be a key reference in motherhood scholarship. Hirsch argued in the 1980s that the fundamental absence of “the maternal voice” in literature can be explained at least in part by the iteration of a general cultural disparaging of motherhood, which is also echoed by fictional protagonists. Her own focus on the mother-daughter plot and its dependence on choices regarding narrative perspective was a central contribution to motherhood studies, and a continuous focus in the research has indeed been the mother-daughter relationship. Although there are some studies of men’s auto/biographical narratives about their mothers’ lives as seen through the eyes of the (grown) child (Wahlström Henriksson 2021 ), and on male authors’ fictional renditions of motherhood (Martinez 2018 ), these are rare exceptions to the rule. In the 2010 essay collection Textual Mothers/Maternal Texts: Motherhood in Contemporary Women’s Literatures , Elizabeth Podnieks and Andrea O’Reilly trace a development in female-authored texts about motherhood from “daughter-centric” to “matrilineal” and “matrifocal” narratives, arguing that the absent maternal voice explored by Hirsch has slowly gained ground in literature after the 1990s. They also make claims for criticism that links maternal literature closely to lived experiences, for, as they observe, “mothering and being a mother are personal, political, and creative narratives unfolding within both the pages of a book and the spaces of a life” (Podnieks and O’Reilly 2010 , 2). With Podnieks and O’Reilly, the chapters in this volume show that maternal voices have entered into literary representation, full force, and that they are complicated and diverse. Footnote 1

The research to date demonstrates that stories about motherhood are variously shaped by absences and presences, by distance and closeness. Hansen argues in Mother Without Child ( 1997 ) that it is above all in fiction that features “bad mothers” and mothers who lose their children that motherhood as such is questioned and scrutinized in new and potentially subversive ways. This idea is taken up in a recent study of contemporary Swedish fiction that analyzes the significance of plots where mothers leave their children, in the context of gender-equal family policy and parenting norms (Björklund 2021 ).

The contributions in this volume engage in dialogue with and add further dimensions to these strands of previous research: on maternal voices, the relational aspects of motherhood and mothering, and the (recent) histories of writing motherhood in literature. To speak, again, with Elaine Tuttle Hansen, we see that decades after her crucial study, “the multifaceted story of feminist thinking about motherhood is still emerging” (Hansen 1997 , 10), and is likely to continue to do so as long as there are mothers, and literature that engages with motherhood and mothering.

The Chapters in this Volume

The chapters in this volume are sequenced on the basis of some major thematic concerns, although the reader will discover that there are also other overlaps between chapters and sections. The first set of studies deal with reproductive choices, sexualities, and breaking/complying with norms. A discussion of motherhood also necessitates a discussion of reproductive choices; the first study in this volume therefore raises issues around abortion as well as motherhood. Access to safe abortions continues to be a relevant issue for women all over the world, a fact that has been newly underscored by the overturning of Roe v. Wade in the year when we are writing this Introduction (2022). This subject is central to Lisa Grahn’s chapter, “One Hand Clapping: The Loneliness of Motherhood in Lucia Berlin’s ‘Tiger Bites’.” In Berlin’s short story, a young woman travels across the Texas border into Mexico to have an abortion. Grahn shows how the depiction of the protagonist’s experiences in a Mexican abortion clinic interweaves perspectives of class, language barriers, national borders, and family relationships. She argues that abortion in the short story serves to highlight the life-changing choices that surround motherhood and seems to speak for accessible safe abortions even as the protagonist herself ultimately rejects abortion. But she also links the intergenerational theme in the story to the intergenerational relevance of the story itself, across the decades from publication to present-day reading.

The concept of motherhood changes when meanings of male and female become more permeable and open-ended, as is the case in transgender lives. In “‘their mothers, and their fathers, and everyone in between’: Queering Motherhood in Trans Parent Memoirs by Jennifer Finney Boylan and Trystan Reese,” Elizabeth Podnieks discusses the queering of motherhood in two autobiographical books from the US, Jennifer Finney Boylan’s Stuck in the Middle With You: A Memoir of Parenting in Three Genders (2013) and Trystan Reese’s How We Do Family: From Adoption to Trans Pregnancy, What We Learned About Love and LGBTQ Parenthood (2021). Boylan is a transgender woman, and a parent of two children, who is living in a long-term marriage. Reese is a transgender man who together with his husband adopted two children and who also gave birth to their biological child. Boylan’s and Reese’s accounts of their lives foreground how “mother” and “father” are concepts that are varied and mutable, while also narrated from the “conventional” framework of married life. Podnieks shows how their narratives normalize trans parenthood while queering normativity. These positions affect how they write, and Podnieks shows how their personal narratives are punctuated with community perspectives and calls for social justice.

In her contribution “Struggling to Become a Mother: Literary Representations of Involuntary Childlessness,” Jenny Björklund takes her point of departure in a Swedish context. Sweden is a country with progressive family politics that encourage reproduction, and the chapter focuses on three contemporary novels that deal with women who struggle to become mothers in a political and social environment of pronatalism. In depicting an often painful and existentially challenging process, the novels serve as pertinent examples of how deeply non-motherhood is intertwined with normative femininity, heteronormativity, and traditional family ideals. The chapter examines to what extent the novels adhere to, or contest, feminine ideals of motherhood, as well as discursive Swedish gender norms and nuclear family ideals. It furthermore touches on the complex and theoretically vital question of what about motherhood is (perceived as) natural versus constructed.

From this first set of chapters that variously put pressure on definitions of motherhood and mothering, and question motherhood, we move on to the next set of chapters, which offers three studies concentrating on mother-daughter relationships, and the matter of the “mother’s voice.” In her chapter “Orality/Aurality and Voice of the Voiceless Mother in Abla Farhoud’s Happiness Has a Slippery Tail ,” Eglė Kačkutė analyzes the 1998 novel by Lebanese-Canadian author Farhoud. Kačkutė reminds us that narratives of migrant monolingual mothers told from their own perspective are still rare in literature. The novel highlights questions of mothering in a language perceived as foreign by the children (Arabic), and being a mother in a country whose language (French) the mother does not speak. Written by the daughter but from the mother’s point of view, the novel stages the mother/daughter plot by introducing the daughter as narrator—a fictionalized version of the author—in an imagined dialogue between the two where they share their Arabic mother tongue. Thus, Kačkutė argues, the novel features a double voice, a mother/daughter duet which allows for the unique specificity of each voice in their respective languages. Such narrative technique establishes a new ethics of representing other marginalized and silenced voices.

In 2020 the Jewish Swedish journalist Margit Silberstein published her autobiography Förintelsens barn (Children of the Holocaust). Liz Kella’s chapter, “From Survivor to Im/migrant Motherhood and Beyond: Margit Silberstein’s Postmemorial Autobiography, Förintelsens Barn ” which continues the strand of exploring mothers and daughters begun in the previous chapter, focuses on how Silberstein represents her relationship with her mother and her strong sense of identification with the mother’s past experiences. The relationship between the survivor mother and the daughter is complex and a part of the testimony of the Holocaust, and Silberstein’s memoir is part of an international sub-genre of life writing by children of survivors. Questions regarding the (im)possibility of inheriting maternal memory and embodied experiences are raised in the novel, as the daughter’s eating disorders are understood as a mode of identifying with and alleviating the mother’s sufferings. Kella shows that the daughter’s attempts to understand her mother also create an emotional ambivalence toward the female body.

A strong generation of women writers have emerged in the German-speaking countries in recent decades, offering yet other intriguing explorations of the relationship between mother and daughter. In the chapter “The (M)other’s Voice: Representations of Motherhood in Contemporary Swiss Writing by Women,” Valerie Heffernan observes how new and challenging perspectives on this established theme in women’s literature emerged in two Swiss novels in the 1990s, Zoë Jenny’s The Pollen Room (1998, orig. 1997) and Ruth Schweikert’s Augen zu (1998). Heffernan demonstrates that, in different ways, the novels respond to Marianne Hirsch’s call for a “double voice” in literature that makes room for the maternal perspective. By focusing on narrative form, Heffernan discerns interesting differences in the approach to the textual status of the mother’s voice. In The Pollen Room , the daughter’s anger does not make room for the mother’s voice but places the narrative authority with the daughter. Schweikert’s Augen zu , however, opens up for the double voice in letting both protagonists speak.

After these explorations of maternal voices and mother-daughter plots, we come in the final set of chapters to two studies that point to ambivalent attitudes to motherhood—in literature and in life. Meanwhile, they also variously foreground the tensions between writing and mothering, whether this is thematized in complex narratives of contemporary motherhood or evidenced by critical “misrecognition” on the part of the literary/critical establishment. During the last decade, literature about choosing not to be a mother or regretting motherhood has provoked intense discussions. In “Contested Motherhood in Autobiographical Writing: Rachel Cusk and Sheila Heti,” Margaretha Fahlgren and Anna Williams discuss two contemporary autobiographical novels, which investigate women’s feelings and thoughts about motherhood, Rachel Cusk’s A Life’s Work ( 2001 ) and Sheila Heti’s Motherhood ( 2018 ). These narratives have been important in presenting alternative discourses on motherhood that have previously been rather taboo, and thereby broadening the concept as such. Both writers endeavor to understand the existential dilemma concerning motherhood by exploring their everyday experiences, and they variously reflect upon the tensions between motherhood and authorship.

The final chapter offers a perspective from Norway. In the year 2018, literary works about motherhood were published by four well established Norwegian novelists. Although very different, they all chose the novel as the literary form for exploring experiences of mothering. By close narratological analysis, Christine Hamm demonstrates in the chapter “A Plea for Motherhood: Mothering and Writing in Contemporary Norwegian Literature” how these novels address maternal experience in narratives that center on the felt need to defend the choice to be a mother. They foreground maternal experience while navigating feminist discourses as well as Norwegian family politics. The critical reception deemed these novels uninteresting and of low aesthetic quality, partly because of their subject matter and their (supposedly) auto-fictional dimensions. Hamm challenges this critical judgment, arguing that by merging fragments, essayistic pieces, memories, and reflections, the novels point to a new way of delineating the multi-layered experience of motherhood.

What these chapters taken together demonstrate is that there is diversity in the maternal voices that are emerging in fiction and life writing across national contexts in the twenty-first century. Above all, they point to the complexities and profound ambivalences of motherhood and mothering. In the words of Elaine Tuttle Hansen, “[m]otherhood offers women a site of both power and oppression, self-esteem and self-sacrifice, reverence and debasement” (Hansen 1997 , 3). And, we would add, motherhood and mothering offer not just these extremes, but also the states in-between, states marked by much uncertainty and tension. These chapters also show that texts from previous decades resonate with urgent issues in our time, and that re-reading and re-thinking narratives of motherhood (and non-motherhood) “across generations” can provide inroads to understanding how representations and narration function as social critique as well as aesthetic pleasure.

Symbolic meanings of motherhood, and the ways that certain tropes of motherhood circulate in a given national culture, have also been fruitfully explored in scholarship on popular culture, especially television, film, and social media. Edited volumes like Mediating Moms (Podnieks 2012 ) and Mediated Moms (Hundley and Hayden 2015 ) explore non-normative or transgressive motherhood. Film studies scholarship has scrutinized the common trope of the dead/absent mother in Anglo-American culture (Åström 2017 ; Devers 1998 ), as well as representations of both bad mothers, and struggling, heroic mothers in genre film (Arnold 2013 ; see also Fisher 1996 ; Feasey 2012 ). Representations of single mothers have generated separate studies (Åström and Bergnehr 2021 ).

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Henriksson, H.W., Williams, A., Fahlgren, M. (2023). Ambivalent Narratives of Motherhood and Mothering: From Normal and Natural to Not-at-all. In: Wahlström Henriksson, H., Williams, A., Fahlgren, M. (eds) Narratives of Motherhood and Mothering in Fiction and Life Writing. Palgrave Macmillan Studies in Family and Intimate Life. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-17211-3_1

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Being a working mom is important to my identity, because building my dream also builds my child’s future

@ilonakozhevnikova/Twenty20

I don’t want to say my life stopped because I had kids. I had kids, and then I continued. But this time, with more passion and more drive. Because I want my kids to see how much I love what I do so that they chase after their dreams and do what brings them joy, too.

By Mariah Maddox March 30, 2022

My husband and I have this ongoing joke that one day, I’m going to retire him and he’ll be a stay-at-home dad while I’m the working mom rushing out the door each morning with a tea in one hand and briefcase in the other. I don’t know how much of a joke it actually is, because one day… it honestly might happen.

The truth is, I love working. I love feeling accomplished at things other than keeping my son occupied long enough to wash the dishes and throw the clothes in the washer. I love showing up unapologetically in the workplace and not always having to tiptoe around the house out of fear of waking up my baby just so I can get some things done.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t love the duties that come with motherhood and staying home with my child , because I wholeheartedly do. But I equally enjoy the fulfillment of working. And not the work that drains me and cuts into family time and has me dreading Mondays, but the work that doesn’t feel like work. The work where my passions have room to thrive and I get to be a walking example of what it means to operate in your purpose.

And I think my kids need this from me. Though I’m only a mom of one right now, years down the line when we’ve expanded our family and our kids are doing their own things in the world, I want them to remember how much their mama loved doing what she did.

Related: My working mom was passionate about her job

I don’t want them to feel like their mama gave up her career or her dreams to raise them. That’s how I viewed my mother growing up, as the woman who stopped everything she was doing and poured her all into her kids and family until it seemed she had nothing left to give.

But raising children is a revolutionary act. And so is continuing to chase your dreams while doing so— if that’s what you want to do.

For so long I always wondered if she regretted it. I know she made the decision to become a stay-at-home mom (I mean, she did have nine kids) while my dad worked endless hours. But I know she had dreams and I always wondered what they were and if she just felt like she didn’t have room to chase them after becoming a mother.

I think that’s often the case in society. Everyone thinks a woman gives up her dreams once she has children. But raising children is a revolutionary act. And so is continuing to chase your dreams while doing so— if that’s what you want to do.

And I’ve decided that is what I want to do. Because being a working mom is important to my identity. Doing what I love is how I continue to ground myself, which fills my cup and in turn, gives me more to pour into my family. I don’t feel depleted or empty when I have something that I can call my own. Being a working mom gives me a sense of independence in the midst of me having so many people who depend on me.

Related: Working makes me a better mom

I see it as a blessing that I have the ability to do what I love simultaneously: raising my son and working from home.

I love it all. And I can do it all. Because I’m not just a mom. I’m a woman with a dream in mind.

So when people ask me if I’m still working—the answer is yes.

And when they ask me what I do? Well, I’m building my career and I’m also building my child’s future.

And for those who want to know how I balance it all? Well, it’s easy when you’re doing what you love.

Related: Working moms have long-lasting benefits for their kids

I love working. And I also love spending time with my son and husband. And I also love meeting career goals. And getting the clothes folded and put away. I love it all. And I can do it all. Because I’m not just a mom. I’m a woman with a dream in mind.

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