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Early childhood studies personal statement example 5.

Ever since I could remember I have always wanted to play a big part in children’s education. As I was growing up I could see children of my age in Africa struggling to go to school because of their circumstances. It’s always been my goal in life to become an early year’s teacher and see children achieve their ambitions. Helping them to achieve what they want in life is a big ambition of mine.

Studying Childcare Level 3 gave me the opportunity to be one week at school and the other week at placement and these include primary schools, special needs schools and nurseries. I really enjoy my work placements because they have helped me to extend my theoretical and practical knowledge of children. My role in placements is to help children, who are struggling and less able, provide age appropriate activities, singing with them, listening to them read and also reading to them.

I was most certain that I wanted to do this course after having my work placement in Year 10 at James Elliman Primary School. It was the most fascinating and interesting experience, I totally enjoyed working with children. I just loved the thought of waking up and knowing today am going to see them learn, help them learn and see them achieve and solve problems. This made me realise that becoming an early year’s teacher was what I always wanted to do.

Working at McDonalds as a crew trainer; has helped me to learn to work in a busy environment. Working with people from different backgrounds, working as a team member, and communicating effectively with customers and other members of staff has been a learning curve. Having to teach new crew members have given me more responsibility. I also have a Basic Food Hygiene Certificate and I have a First Aid Certificate for children.

I consider myself as a hardworking and self-motivated individual who enjoys facing challenges and finding a professional way to deal with them. I enjoy listening to children and members of staff and take their thoughts into consideration. Listening to other members of staff and getting feedback helps me to learn because I will know what areas I need to improve. I feel that my good communication skills are very essential when working as a team especially when children are involved.

In my leisure time when am not studying I enjoy socialising, travelling, listening music and baby sitting my cousins, as well as help out in school when they have an events going on e.g. Open Days. Every week on a Wednesday I always do reading buddies with year 7 classes and this helps them with their vocabulary and words.

My future plans are to complete my Childcare L3 Diploma and get the required grades that will allow entry into university for a degree in Early childhood Studies. This degree will allow me to do a PGCE so I will be able to pursue a career as an early year’s teacher. This degree will allow me to gain the skills and experience I need to work with children. I look forward to going to university because this will allow me to pursue the career in life that I think I will find the most fulfilling. It is hugely important to enjoy what you do as working is such a big part of your life.

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This personal statement was written by geekykid1 for application in 2011.

geekykid1's university choices Oxford Brookes University The University of Birmingham University of Southampton University of Bath Nottingham Trent University

Green : offer made Red : no offer made

geekykid1's Comments

can you please tell me what you think and were i can improve?? PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME EVERYTHING IS PERFCECT !!! thank you x

This personal statement is unrated

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It seems like you have plenty.

Fri, 14/01/2011 - 12:59

It seems like you have plenty of experience around teaching therefore you dont really need to dedicate a paragraph to your employment with mcdonalds. It is a good personal statment though, it reads quite well.

Which university gave you an

Sun, 11/09/2011 - 16:58

Which university gave you an offer from the choices you listed?

Everything is perfect ;)

Tue, 18/12/2012 - 13:28

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How to Write an Effective Childcare Personal Statement

Your personal statement is your chance to showcase your passion for working with children, your relevant experience, and your future goals in the field of childcare. Be sure to carefully plan and edit your statement to ensure it highlights your unique qualities and demonstrates your commitment to this important field.

When applying for a childcare program, a personal statement is a crucial component of your application. This is your opportunity to showcase your passion for working with children, your relevant experience, and your future goals in the field of childcare. Here are some tips to help you write an effective childcare personal statement:

Start with a strong opening : Begin your personal statement with a statement that grabs the attention of the admissions committee. Consider sharing a personal anecdote or a thought-provoking statement that highlights your interest in the field of childcare.

Highlight your relevant experience: Admissions committees want to see that you have relevant experience in childcare. This could be anything from volunteering at a local daycare to babysitting for friends and family. Be sure to include any experience that demonstrates your passion for working with children.

Demonstrate your knowledge of the field: Show that you have a strong understanding of the current issues and trends in childcare. Discuss any research you have conducted or any articles you have read. This will demonstrate your motivation to learn and your ability to critically evaluate information.

Discuss your future goals: Be clear about your career aspirations and how a childcare program will help you achieve them. You may also want to discuss how your experiences have led you to this point and what you hope to contribute to the field of childcare in the future.

Show your personality: Your personal statement should not only showcase your academic achievements, but also provide insight into who you are as a person. Be sure to include information about your hobbies, interests, and personal values that make you a unique and valuable candidate.

Edit and proofread: Finally, make sure to proofread and edit your personal statement. This is your opportunity to make a strong impression, so take the time to ensure your statement is error-free and polished.

In conclusion, a strong childcare personal statement requires careful planning and attention to detail. By highlighting your relevant experience, demonstrating your knowledge of the field, discussing your future goals, showing your personality, and carefully editing your statement, you can create a compelling and memorable personal statement that will help you stand out from the crowd.

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Aussie Childcare Network

Writing A Personal Philosophy For Childcare

  • Written by  Lorina
  • January 5, 2024

Writing A Personal Philosophy For Childcare

Writing a personal philosophy is a great way for others to read what your values and beliefs are in regard to early childhood education. The following article provides information on how to write a personal philosophy including details of what can be included, questions to think about and examples of personal philosophies.

As an educator, your own philosophical concept of early childhood education distinguishes you as an Educator. It's a declaration of your values, which in turn guides your actions. 

What Is A Personal Philosophy

A personal philosophy clearly defines you as an Educator. It is a statement of reflection about your beliefs that influence your actions. It's the process of continuously examining, testifying and verifying your personal beliefs.  It is a tool that not only guides your own teaching and beliefs but also helps other Educators and Parents understand your individual approach to early learning.

How To Write A Personal Philosophy

The personal philosophy of early childhood education should be used as a tool that not only guides your own teaching but also helps your staff and parents understand your individual approach to early learning.

If someone asked you to explain your personal philosophy in early childhood education, what would you say? How would you begin to formulate a statement that captures the essence of your beliefs about teaching and learning? It can include -

  • How children learn,
  • Your role as the educator,
  • the Role of the community,
  • Your understanding of early childhood education,
  • Your commitment to further professional development,
  • Role of families

The following are some of the most important areas you may want to address in your personal philosophy. 

  • Take some time to express your thoughts about the job of an educator. Include your thoughts on child-led vs. teacher-led activities, the educator's involvement in playtime and the presenting of brand new ideas vs. discoveries made by the children on their own. Include a statement that expresses your true hopes and expectations for the children.
  • What are your thoughts on how youngsters learn best? What kinds of activities and opportunities do you think should be included in the environment to help all children learn to their full potential, regardless of their preferred learning style? What impact might the child's preferred learning style have on the child's position as a knowledge receiver? Include both planned and open-ended learning activities, and discuss what you believe is the appropriate ratio of each in the room.
  • As you educate diverse children, talk about how you'll handle varied personalities, learning styles, special needs, and cultural diversity. Include a statement on how children with unique learning needs will be welcomed in your classroom, as well as your specific tactics for fulfilling their needs as well as the requirements of others children. Embracing diversity is critical to creating a warm and welcoming learning environment. You'll want to make sure you clearly outline how you'll address a variety of demands when writing your philosophy.
  • Plan out your curricular orientation, including details on how you came to hold the values you do. However, be careful not to disparage alternative ways when discussing this stage. Instead, consider tying your curricular orientation information to your prior assertions regarding the educator's role in early childhood education.
  • Describe how you handle any behavioural difficulties that arise in this part, as well as why you think your method will succeed. Provide examples. 
  • Finally, decide how parents and other primary caregivers will be included. Outline your plan for involving parents and keeping lines of communication open with family members.
  • Clear statements about what you believe and how you intend to implement and support your beliefs.
  • Explain the values that guide your teaching beliefs.
  • Including specific examples of teaching theories and approaches
  • Include child development theorists that you like and provide examples
  • Relate your philosophy to current trends and theories, as this philosophy should guide your actions as an early childhood educator.
  • Links to the EYLF (or approved learning framework), Code of Ethics

It is truly up to you to create a philosophy that accurately expresses your unique teaching style, values and beliefs when it comes to early childhood education. A good way to think of it is by writing down some of your beliefs regarding children's development and learning.

Questions To Think About

Use the following questions to help you think about your beliefs regarding teaching young children. It is not necessary to respond to each of these questions in your written philosophy. You may also decide to comment on additional issues as well. Take some time to think about each one in some depth.

  • How do you view young children?
  • What is the child’s role in their development and learning?
  • What do you believe about how young children learn?
  • How do you view your role as an Educator?
  • How will your views influence your teaching?
  • What kind of environment do you hope to create? How does this relate to your basic beliefs about young children and learning?
  • What do you hope young children will become?
  • What do you want them to achieve, accomplish, learn, feel, etc.?
  • What kind of assessment in childcare  will you use to be sure that children have met objectives?
  • Looking back at the history of early childhood education, who or what approaches have the greatest impression on you, and why?

Examples Of Personal Philosophies

Here are some examples of personal philosophies:

  • I believe that each child is an individual and as an educator, I will value and develop each child's strengths, interests, skills, abilities and knowledge to extend their learning.
  • I believe that children learn through play. I will provide opportunities for children to explore, discover, create and imagine.
  • I believe in cultural diversity. I will celebrate the benefits of diversity with each individual child and enable them to understand and acknowledge differences.
  • I believe young children are very concerned about themselves and the small world they live in: family and home. However, each child is unique with different interests, backgrounds, and developmental stages.
  • I believe the environment plays a major role in the success of an early childhood program. It should enhance the children’s interests in all developmental domains. I believe learning in an early childhood environment is done most successfully through stations that can be visited, explored, and revisited again and again. The environment should take into consideration the social skills, communication skills, physical abilities or challenges, and learning styles of the children being served.
  • I consider families a vital aspect of my program. Parents who are able to spend time in the classroom occasionally are more aware of the details of their child’s day. Observing what goes on first-hand helps a parent know what to ask the child at the end of the school day.”
  • The early years of a child’s life are busy. I believe learning is happening all the time and is interwoven through all developmental domains. These include: physical, social/emotional, cognitive and communication. Therefore, the goal of my program is to make this ongoing learning experience safe, positive, and fun, nurturing the whole child as I strive to guide them into the next stage of development with confidence in themselves and an excitement for continued learning.
  • Children need the assurance of being loved and cared for while they are enjoying an educational environment. Teaching children is my passion. Security and trust are very important components as well, of my relationship with each child.
  • In planning my program I would strive for a developmentally appropriate, child-centred atmosphere where children have the opportunity to master new challenges through activities and topics that are meaningful to them, thus building their self-esteem as they develop and learn.
  • Children should be given choices, responsibilities, and opportunities to initiate their own learning. I believe observations and assessments are excellent tools to use when planning a curriculum. Observations, not only aid in creating the curriculum but also give insight into the development, knowledge and skill levels of each individual child.

I believe that as an early childhood educator I am responsible for providing infants, toddlers and young children with positive learning experiences. I strive to model respect, patience, and care for children and adults I come in contact with. Children have the right to have their needs met and receive the proper education while in the care of their caregivers.

My philosophy is based on theorists, Jean Piaget, and Lev Vygotsky, and the early childhood movement from Reggio Emilia, Italy. I believe that children benefit from practices that are grounded in research.

Children are motivated to learn when they have opportunities to make choices in an environment that is enriching and stimulating. Children are curious from infancy and have a desire to learn from their environment and those around them. When children are encouraged to interact with their peers and adults in positive ways, they feel safe to explore their surroundings.

As a teacher, I seek to guide children from needing assistance with a task to accomplishing a task independently by providing experiences that are challenging yet attainable for every child. I facilitate learning through the in-depth study of a subject that is of interest to children. Children can be highly motivated, feel actively involved in their own learning and produce work of high quality when they have the time to engage in short and long term projects.

My role as a teacher is to be a facilitator and provide enriching activities so that children are supported as they learn about their strengths and work on their weaknesses. As a facilitator, I support children as they embark on a journey to make discoveries about themselves and learn to recognize and name their feelings.

My goal as a teacher is to provide children with a rich environment where they feel safe to explore, initiate learning, and feel free to express themselves.

As a teacher, I seek to form a close relationship with each child under my care, and their families. I make use of our communities' resources and incorporate the child’s community into the program. I see each child as a unique individual with a great capacity to learn and able to make positive contributions to those around him or her. I strive to provide an environment where children and families from different cultural backgrounds feel welcomed and accepted. 

As a teacher, I seek to form close relationships with each child under my care, and their families. I make use of our communities' resources and incorporate the child’s community into the program. I see each child as a unique individual with a great capacity to learn and able to make positive contributions to those around him or her. I strive to provide an environment where children and families from different cultural backgrounds feel welcomed and accepted.

Personal Philosophy Template

The Personal Philosophy template enables Educators to write and display their personal philosophy within their centre.  To download:  Personal Philosophy Template

When writing your personal philosophy remember:

  • Use present tense, in most cases. Write the paper in first-person (which is the most common and easiest for your audience to read).
  • Write in language and concepts that can be broadly appreciated. A general rule is that the statement should be written with the audience in mind. It may help to consider a school administrator (e.g., school principal) as your audience.
  • Write a paper that will let your audience know where you stand in regard to important educational theories and practices. By including specific examples of teaching theories and approaches, you are able to let your reader take a mental “peek” of your classroom.
  • Make the paper memorable and unique. Think of this teaching philosophy as part of a job application where your readers are seeing many of these statements. What is going to set you apart from others? What about you are they going to remember? Create a vivid portrait of yourself as someone who is intentional about teaching and committed to his/her career.

Once you've finished, make sure your personal philosophy statement is accessible to Educators and families within the service. Explaining the principles that influence your teaching and the overall teachings of service will assist other Educators in ensuring that their own teaching techniques are in keeping with the type of environment you wish to create.

Families will also benefit from hearing about your personal philosophy on early childhood education. During orientation, consider giving them a copy of your statement. This may assist parents in determining whether your approach to education aligns with their own values and whether the service is a good fit for their child.

Creating a personal philosophy should not be intimidating, in fact, it is an excellent opportunity to clarify your teaching philosophies and beliefs and commit them to paper. Reference: Foundations Of Early Childhood Developing A Personal Philosophy Of Teaching Developing A Personal Philosophy Of Early Childhood Education How to Develop a Personal Philosophy of Early Childhood Education, Early Childhood Education Blog Jones, M., Shelton, M. (2011). Developing Your Portfolio--Enhancing Your Learning and Showing Your Stuff: A Guide for the Early Childhood Student or Professional, Second Edition. Routledge. 

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Childhood Studies Personal Statement

Children should have somebody that believes in them and supports them to become the person that they aspire to be. Working with children and assisting them in achieving their goals in life is a huge ambition of mine. I enjoy interacting with children on their own level; gaining insight into their perception of the world.

I am currently studying A-levels in Sociology, Philosophy and Ethics and an AS in textiles. These A levels not only equip me for academic life at university but also developed my understanding of early childhood educational studies. Two of the topics of my sociology A-level are dedicated to education and childhood. These topics have given me an understanding of how childhood is not the same for every child because everyone comes from a different background. This is called a social construction. Sociologist Sue Palmer says there are five important things that children need during their childhood. These are play, language, love, education and discipline. Philosophy and Ethics has reconfigured my perception of the universe because it has improved my analytical skills, seeing events form more than one perspective. Studying Textiles has made me improve how I manage my time as it involves me doing practical and theoretical skills for my coursework. This is useful when it comes to having to do work placements with my degree at university. Textile has enhanced my creativity by thinking of different textiles techniques to add to my coursework. People who are involved with working with children will have to think about things from a child’s perspective and need to be creative at solving problems so that the children can understand more easily.

My interest in teaching children developed through my work experience at a local nursery. This involved me providing support to children with mathematics, reading and writing on a one to one and class group basis. I ensured that the pupils that I supported were able to engage in learning and stay on task during the lesson.

I have volunteered at QMC Hospital Nottingham in the adult ward for the last 3 months: providing help and assistance to patients at mealtimes. I interacted with numerous members of patients and staff. This had led to my understanding of the importance of basic routine tasks in a hospital to support patients in creating a sense of stability. I learned quickly how to deal with people who were reliant on me for help. Volunteering is one of the things that I can really do for other people and putting them first. I have also gained knowledge and experience on how to safeguard and promote the welfare of the vulnerable elderly. I have also been involved with Young Enterprise scheme. I had leadership responsibility for marketing and advertisement. My skills in marketing were developed through promoting my brand through talking to the public. These work experiences develop my communication skills. I can now speak clearly, thoughtfully and without feeling nervous.

In 2015, I undertook a voluntary work placement in Tanzania where I supervised a group of children aged between 3 and 5. This is where I discovered that I had a flair for building a good rapport with children without compromising my position of authority. Working with children at those ages is a real critical point of development in their life because given the right opportunities they can develop new skills of understanding the world.

In the future, I aim to work with children. My experiences tell me that this work will be enormously rewarding. I feel the rewards of a professional career in teaching would satisfy the goals I have hoped to achieve for quite a while. I believe that with my enthusiasm, positive attitudes and strong interest in study your course will give me a firm foundation on which I can build my career, working with children. I can think of no better or more satisfying path to pursue.

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If you’re seeking a role in childcare – whether that’s at an after-school club, in a residential home or simply as a private nanny – you’ll need a strong CV.

A well-structured, easy-to-read CV which highlights your key skills and experience, will triple your chances of winning the role.

I’ve created this in-depth guide, complete with an example childcare CV, to teach you how to write an effective and impactful CV.

Here’s what I’ll cover in the guide:

Guide contents

  • Structuring and formatting your CV
  • Writing your CV profile
  • Detailing work experience
  • Your education
  • Skills required for your childcare CV

CV templates 

Childcare CV-1

The childcare CV example above showcases how you can display your childcare experience, skills and relevant qualifications in a way which looks sleek, professional and organised.

Every CV will be unique, but this should give you a good idea of the high standard you should aim for.

CV builder

Childcare CV structure & format

A cluttered, disorganised, hard-to-read CV  certainly won’t help to convince employers that you’re a thoughtful, caring and responsible candidate.

So, it’s vital to give plenty of thought to the format and structure of your CV, to ensure your information looks professional, is well-organised and easy-to-read.

The image below shows a simple yet effective structure, as well as some savvy formatting tricks, to ensure your CV is up to standard:

CV structure

Formatting Tips

  • Chunky blocks of text can be difficult to read (not to mention boring!). Break up your information by incorporating columns, bullet points and lists, as well as ensuring there’s some white space between sections.
  • Choose a simple colour scheme – black and white usually does the trick – and a clear, legible font. This way, the focus of your CV will be on the content, rather than an elaborate and distracting design.
  • A childcare CV should be no more than 2 sides of A4 – this gives enough space to prove your suitability, without becoming overwhelming and time-consuming for the reader.
  • Avoid overloading your CV with imagery. Company logos and profile pictures don’t add any value to your CV and could distract attention from key content.
  • In the UK, it’s against the law to consider age, race or gender during the hiring process, so including a profile photo could actually be a disadvantage when applying for a role within an organisation.  However, if you’re applying to be a childminder  directly to a family, you might consider including a photo. If you do choose to include one, just make sure it looks polished and professional.

Structuring your CV

Break your CV into clearly defined sections working towards the below structure:

  • Contact details – Top your CV with your basic contact details.
  • Profile – Write a 5-10 line summary of your childcare skills, experience and qualifications, showcasing why you’re the perfect fit for the sector.
  • Work experience / Career history – List your work experience, focusing on any roles you’ve had within care.
  • Education – Detail your relevant qualifications, especially those which are relevant to childcare roles.
  • Interest and hobbies – An optional section, which you can use to document any hobbies which could further prove your suitability for the childcare industry.

Don’t worry, we’ll go through each section in more detail so that you know exactly what you need to include .

CV Contact Details

Contact details

The first thing you write on your CV  should always be your contact details. This way, recruiters, employers or clients can contact you for an interview with ease.

Here’s what you need to include:

  • Phone number
  • Email address

Quick Tip:  Remove extra details, such as your DOB, marital status or full address (a town or city will do). At this stage, only the basics are needed, so anything extra is simply a waste of space.

Childcare CV Profile

Childcare roles often get numerous applications, meaning employers, recruiters or families may well have a huge pile of CVs to sort through.

Your CV profile  (or  personal statement for junior candidates) is probably the first thing they’ll read, making it a great way to hook their attention and entice them to read the rest of your application.

It should be a short but punchy summary of why you’re a great fit for the childcare sector, detailing a high-level overview of your relevant skills, experience and qualifications.

CV profile

Tips to consider when creating your profile:

  • Be unique, not generic – cliché phrases like  “I am a team player”  are written on every other CV and have completely lost their value. Focus on giving real examples of your relevant skills and achievements within the childcare vocation.
  • Keep your profile short, snappy and high-level. The ideal length is 5-10 lines – save the detail for later on in your CV.
  • You should tailor your profile to the childcare sector, as well as the individual role you’re applying for. For example, if the job description says knowledge of childcare legislation is essential, you should mention your experience of this area in your profile.
  • Don’t discuss your career goals in your profile – this type of information is best suited to your cover letter.

What to include in your childcare CV profile?

  • Level of experience  – Have you worked in children’s homes, had several years experience as a nanny , or is will this be your first childcare role? Whatever your level of experience, you need to make it clear to the reader.
  • Relevant qualifications  – If you have any relevant qualifications, you should mention them in your profile. This might be a first-aid certification, a diploma in early years education, a social work degree or an NVQ/BTEC in childcare. A driving license and DBS check are crucial for most childcare roles, so include these too.
  • Childcare skills and knowledge  – Read over the job description and decipher what skills and knowledge the employer is looking for and incorporate these into your profile – for example, safeguarding, crisis management, children’s mental health or SEN.
  • Where you’ve worked  – Residential children’s homes? Playgroups? After-school clubs? Children’s hospital? Nannies? After-school club? Nursery? Summarise your childcare or nanny experience to date.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Core skills section

Following your profile with a snappy core skills section will add even more impact to the top of your childcare CV.

Create a columned and bullet-pointed list of your key points, making sure to match up your skills to the ones listed in the job description.

This allows recruiters to see your suitability for the role as soon as they glance at your CV.

CV core skills

Work experience/Career history

By this point, employers will be keen to dig out the detail about your relevant experience.

Starting with your most recent role and working backwards, list your career history to date.

Work experience

If you’ve held tens of short-term or part-time nanny/childcare roles over the years, share more detail about your most recent roles and shorten down descriptions for your older positions. Don’t have enough space? You could always club roles together, for example ‘2000-2005 – Babysitter (multiple clients)’ .

Will this be your first role in childcare? You should still provide some insight into your career history – and you might have more relevant experience than you initially think! Other care or educational positions, such as a care worker or teaching assistant, require similar skills to most childcare roles – so they’re well worth discussing.

Additionally, volunteering at a youth or after-school club, or looking after children on an informal basis, all show commitment to the sector and should be listed in your experience section.

Structuring your roles

A disorganised and cluttered-looking work experience section can be highly off-putting to recruiters.

Make sure yours reflects your professionalism and is easy-to-read, by using the 3-step structure shown below:

Role descriptions

Start with an overview of the role as a whole, discussing like who you worked for, what type of care you gave and the ages of the children cared for.

“Provided care to vulnerable children at a residential service centre, supporting education and individual life programmes, promoting skills and independence, whilst maintaining safeguarding procedures and working closely with families as appropriate.”

Key responsibilities

Next, use bullet points to detail your key responsibilities and duties within the role.

  • Dealing with challenging behaviour and helping children to develop self-control techniques.
  • Planning and participating in a variety of on and off-site activities.
  • Undertaking sleep-in duties on a rota basis.

Key achievements

Lastly, prove the value you added to the company and/or children you supported, by displaying your achievements within the role.

If you can, quantify your examples with hard facts and figures.

  • Awarded “Child Care Worker of the Month” for 3 months in a single year.
  • Received 10+ written commendations from parents for efficiency, patience and dedication to the welfare of their children.

Next, you need to detail your qualifications or certifications, including where and when you gained them.

While many childcare roles have a low barrier to entry, there are a wide range of qualifications which will benefit a career in the sector, ranging from childcare NVQ’s  and care certificates , all the way to social work and early years degrees .

Relevant certifications and vocational courses, such as First Aid or CPR, will be a good advantage, too.

If this will be your first working role or you’re a school leaver, just list your highest qualifications, such as your GCSE’s or A-Levels.

Interests and hobbies

The hobbies section of your CV is totally optional, but you may use it to list personal pursuits you feel could add value to your application.

Generic hobbies like  ‘going out with friends’ or  ‘reading’  won’t add anything, so leave these out.

However, hobbies which demonstrate commitment, communication skills, creativity or teamwork, such as being part of a sports team, learning a language or having a creative talent, are worth listing. After all, you could potentially pass these talents on to the children in your care!

Essential skills for your childcare CV

The specific skills needed for your CV will vary depending on the specific role, so remember to match your skills up with the job requirements. However, the following skills will be beneficial for most childcare roles:

Pediatric first aid –  Ability to administer emergency first aid to a child with a sudden or chronic illness or injury is essential – an accredited certification is a huge selling point, too.

CPR  – Knowledge and practice of reviving breath in an individual who has stopped breathing.

Health & safety – Keeping children of all ages safe and healthy, working to prevent injuries and illnesses.

Driving – If you’re working as a childminder or nanny, a full driving license is often essential.

Domestic skills – Whether you’re working directly with a family or in a residential home, you may be expected to undertake light domestic duties, such as cleaning.

Cooking –  In smaller clubs or organisations without a dedicated cook, you may need to cook fresh and healthy meals suitable for individual dietary requirements.

Newborn and toddler care  – This will depend on the age of children in your care, but generally, childcare workers should be able to change nappies, prepare baby formula and carry out general newborn/toddler care without trouble.

Writing your childcare CV

By following this childcare CV guide from start to finish, you’ll be able to create a flawless CV which proves you’d make a committed and reliable hire.

All the best with your job search!

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personal statement childcare examples

Sample 1st Paragraph for the MA in Early Childhood Studies, Canada, Saudi Woman

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Sample Autobiographical Statement for Admission to a PsyD Program, Russian Teacher, Early Childhood

personal statement childcare examples

It was this child’s painting and use of color to depict emotion that first captured my interest in studying the psychological aspects of color. My senior thesis paper was a labor of love for a full year of in-depth research that culminated in a 65-page paper explaining how color and form impact the emotions of preschool children. I conducted tests on children and recorded their emotional reactions after showing them different colors and form factors. My research discovered that the color and form of objects have a powerful psycho-physiological connection with children.

In addition to my educational experience, I worked as a volunteer counselor for an orphanage in Russia. I worked with children and adolescents who had a problems with rejection, depression, and aggression. I observed first-hand how circumstance and environment were powerful influences on their development. When a child first enters into the home they often experienced many complex emotions and mental health issues. Adapting to a new environment, building new relationships and friends, and preparing for outside life often required the help of a experienced psychologists, which I got to job shadow. I observed the therapy process and how they were able to help a child feel better and restore some of their self-confidence. Many of the children had horrifying life stories and were victims of abuse and trauma. Through volunteering, I learn empathy, compassion and listening. I also developed a profound respect and admiration for the professional psychologists that worked with the orphans. It was with this experience that I knew I would become a psychologist.

After graduation, I realized I wanted to see the world. I traveled on a journey of self-discovery that led me to the Shaolin Monastery in Deng Feng, China where I studied for two months. Shrouded in the legends and mysteries of the fighting monks, the Shaolin Temple is renowned in the world of martial arts. The monastery, surrounded by the Songshan Mountain that escalated to a thorny peak, symbolized my personal path of self-discovering. At 5:00 a.m. daily. I awoke half-asleep, left my tiny room and climbed the Songshan Mountain, training in the endurance of the spirit. Each student was assigned their monk to teach them philosophy, meditation, breathing exercises, and martial arts. Slowly, I developed harmony between my body and mind and began to understand the potential that existed inside of me.

Fascinated and intrigued by Asian culture, I moved to China in 2011 to study at XXXX Language and Culture University. Being immersed in Chinese culture was extremely challenging and rewarding. The more language I learned, the more I could discover thousands of years of Chinese history and culture. Immersing myself completely in a new culture taught me to respect diversity. Despite differences between Chinese culture and my own, I gained an appreciation for the rich complexity of their traditions and values.

After some time in China, I wanted to continue volunteering. My most life-changing trips were to the XXXX orphanage outside of Beijing. Sunvillage is dedicated to the children of Chinese convicts and fights for their survival and development. The goal of the village is to education, rehabilitate, and raise the children into independent adults. The children were from an unfamiliar culture and I had to communicate exclusively in Chinese. Most of the children were mentally and physically abused before coming to Sunvillage. Some of the children had violent tendencies and tried to hurt themselves. Some ran away from the orphanage and repeated the fate of their parents. I often pondered questions about heredity, nature vs. nurture, and the power of family and love. Communicating with the children was also interesting and disheartening. I remember I foolishly asked one child “what are your dreams” and she did not answer, but rather just lower her head. Their world was completely different than mine and I did not know how to interact with them appropriately. I could see their psychological problems and knew I wanted to learn how to professional help them and the millions of other children who suffer mentally.

After years living in China, I met my American husband. In 2015, I began a new journey in my life and moved to the USA. Through the last year, I have been impressed by the ethnic, cultural, and diversity. I see a sparkling mosaic of the cultures that shared many values. I am currently enrolled in psychology classes at the College of XXXX. I am studying Developmental Psychology, Theories of Personality, and Abnormal Psychology. Abnormal Psychology is especially interesting to me. We had to conduct a case study and write a research paper on a specific personality disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) particularly fascinated me, and I spent hours in the library researching it. Through my volunteering experience, I have observed many children who exhibit BPD symptoms such as emotional instability, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, impulsivity, and impaired social relationships. Most recently, I began volunteering as a counselor at the Crisis Text Line.  For teenagers and young adults who are in a crises situation it is much easier, convenient, and anonymous to text rather than call. Through training, I am learning how to help people with empathy, counseling, and active listening. 75% of the people I text with are under twenty-five years old and 10% are under thirteen. It is rewarding to know that I am helping people who are experiencing distress, depression, and loneliness.

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Sample 1st Paragraph for the Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education

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Sample 1st Paragraph for Certificate Program Childhood Development

I am applying to your distinguished certificate program in childhood development because of my intense fascination with how children learn at very early ages, before kindergarten. I hope to put the tools that I will acquire in your program to work, teaching techniques that will help young children with autism to develop fine motor and gross motor along with social skills. I aim to come up with solutions by creating short and long term goals, observing, testing and teaching small children, collaborating with interdisciplinary staff, working constantly to decrease negative behaviors and reinforce positive learning. In 2004, I graduated from XXXX High School with my high school diploma. After high school, I attended XXXX College and received my Associate of Arts degree in Liberal Arts in July 2007. Immediately after, I had the opportunity of attending XXXX University where I graduated in 2010 with my Bachelors of Science in Child and Adolescent Development.

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The heroines of early childhood studies.

There are a number of career options available to you when you study early childhood studies. You could go into early childhood education, becoming an expert educator; you could becoming a family support worker, a primary school teacher, a secondary school teacher or a social worker. You might also move into child psychotherapy, children´s nursing, counseling, educational psychology or speech and language therapy. Here are some inspiring women who are working in this area.

Shauna Tominey

Shauna Tominey is Associate Research Scientist at Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and the director of early childhood programming and teacher education at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence , an organization that conducts groundbreaking research on emotional skills and helps schools incorporate best practices to teach children emotional intelligence.

Tominey also directs the Preschool RULER Development Project , a collaborative program between the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and Stamford's Childcare Learning Centers . The program strives to develop evidence-based initiatives that incorporate emotional education in the preschool classroom. To help fuel her evolving understanding of social skills, Tominey conducts research at the Yale Child Study Center , where she´s working on understanding how disadvantaged families teach their children about resilience.

Tominey's research focuses on creating and promoting stimulating learning environments by encouraging empathy and recognizing the importance of emotions for children and the key adults in their lives.

There has been a recent emphasis that has been placed on the importance of early childhood education. Tominey's body of work helps educators understand how they can truly take advantage of this essential period in childhood development and cultivate emotional skills that help young children turn into successful students.

Tominey holds two bachelor’s degrees from the University of Washington . She also has a master’s degree from Kansas State University , and a doctoral degree from Oregon State University . She has been an instructor at Oregon State University since for over half a decade.

Ellen DeVoe

Ellen DeVoe is Associate Professor and PhD Program Director of Social Work at Boston University. She is considered one of the most influential social workers alive today. DeVoe is recognized for her research on the study of violence exposure on children and her scholarly interest and practice includes domestic violence, sexual abuse, and intervention research with children and families exposed to violence.

DeVoe has also performed extensive studies on the impact of September 11. DeVoe is a certified social worker with the state of New York. She was awarded the Teaching Excellence honor from Boston University School of Social Work in 2008.

Sabrina Sullenberger

After around ten years of teaching at Indiana University, Sabrina Sullenberger joined the faculty at Belmont University. Sullenberger holds a PhD in Social Work from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill with research interests in poverty and child welfare.

Sullenberger´s work has been published internationally, with areas of exploration in the scholarship of teaching and learning. She teaches social work by infusing service learning and hands-on assessment and believes in passing the torch of change in social service to her students.

Georgette Mulheir

A popular TED Speaker and pioneer for the movement to end child abuse imposed by orphanages, Georgette Mulheir works as the CEO of Lumos, a non-profit organization founded by JK Rowling.

Mulheir has dedicated the last twenty years to shift resources away from orphanages and toward family services, such as foster care and support.

Her focus is in Central and Eastern Europe, but her reach is international, and since the initiation of her work in Romania in 1993, over 200,000 children in orphanages were reduced to 20,000.

Stephanie Berzin

Associate Professor and Chair of the Children, Youth, and Families Concentration at Boston College Graduate School of Social Work, Stephanie Berzin is the co-director of the Center for Social Innovation, a division working to build evidence-based social preparedness and awareness.

Berzin’s scholarship centers toward research on the social sector and social innovation practice and her research has been published in various journals. In 2009, Berzin was awarded the Frank R. Breul Memorial Prize for her contribution in Social Service Review.

Ruby M. Gourdine

Recognized as one of the social work pioneers by the National Association of Social Workers, Ruby Gourdine is a professor at Howard University with research focus on child welfare, youth exposure to women´s issues, violence and social work history.

Gourdine is the Chair of Direct Sequence Practice at the School of Social Work at Howard. She offers expertise in the area of inequalities of service based on race in the workplace. Her advocacy, combined with her work experience, has given her the role of monitoring social work services for a variety of private agency programs and the DC public school system.

Florence Guinness Blake

Florence Guinness Blake has a reputation for contributing to the cause of nursing, especially, in the area of pediatric nursing. She is committed to the cause of graduate level nursing education, particularly for those who work with children. She wanted to go into nursing from an early age. She completed her Master of Science degree and became a nursing teacher.

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Last updated March 5, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. For some people, the best way to start writing a personal statement is indeed just to start.

But for most writers, jumping right into the writing process is a daunting task. If you’ve never written a personal statement before, then how do you know where to begin?

That’s where example essays come in. There are millions of opinions in the college admissions world about whether or not students should read example essays. But here’s ours:

You absolutely should be reading example personal statements.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should read example personal statements

Reading example personal statements helps you understand why they work (or don’t work) in the admissions process.

Now, the point of reading them isn’t to copy them. It’s not even necessarily to be inspired by them.

Instead, the point of reading examples is to know what personal statements look like. Think about it: if you’d never seen a children’s book before, would you know how to write one? Probably not! Same goes for personal statements.

In this post, we show you some exceptional, solid, and need-to-be-improved personal statements.

And to help you understand how these essays function as personal statements, we’ve also gotten our team of former admissions officers to grade and provide feedback on each.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

  • Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
  • Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
  • Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
  • Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
  • Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

  • Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
  • Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
  • Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
  • Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

  • Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
  • Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
  • Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

  • Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
  • Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
  • Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

  • Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
  • Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
  • Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #4: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

  • Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
  • Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
  • Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #5: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

  • Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
  • Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
  • Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #6: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

  • Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
  • Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
  • Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #7: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

  • Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
  • Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
  • Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #8: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

  • Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
  • Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
  • Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

  • Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #9: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

  • Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
  • Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
  • More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #10: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

  • Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
  • Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
  • Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #11: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

  • Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
  • Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
  • Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #12: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

  • Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
  • Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
  • What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #13: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

  • Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
  • Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
  • More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

  • Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

  • Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

  • Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
  • Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
  • Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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10 Nanny BIO Examples

Parents need to get to know someone they will be entrusting their children to and nanny bios are a great way to do just that. These Nanny bio examples offer information about a nanny’s experience, qualifications, and approach to child care that parents rely on when making an important hiring decision.

Nanny bio examples

Nanny bio examples

Example 1 : Hi, my name is (Nanny name) ! I am a certified Early Childhood Education teacher with 10 years of experience in the childcare field. I have a passion for teaching children, which is why I specialize in helping children reach their developmental milestones. With me, children will not just be well taken care of, but also learn and grow. I am a fun-loving and creative person that loves to make life-long memories with children.

Example 2 : My name is (Nanny name) and I am a Certified Childcare Professional with over 5 years of experience working with infants, toddlers and young children. I strive to create an atmosphere at home where your child is safe, happy and engaged in meaningful activities. I’m passionate about developing strong relationships with both parents and children. I’m kind, patient and nurturing, and I’m excited about the opportunity to work with your family!

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Example 3 : Hi, my name is (Nanny name) and I have ten years of experience working with children of all ages. I believe in creating a fun, stimulating and safe environment for children to thrive. I’m particularly skilled at helping children with their social and emotional needs. I’m also CPR and first aid certified, and have experience working with special needs. I’m looking forward to joining your family and helping your child grow and learn.

Example 4 : Hello! My name is (Nanny name) and I am an experienced nanny with 6 years of experience working with children of all ages. I am passionate about providing nurturing, loving care for children in order to help them grow and learn. I’m also very organized and I strive to create a clean, safe environment for your child. I’m eager to join your family and help your child achieve their full potential.

Example 5 : My name is (Nanny name) and I have 10 years of experience nannying for families. I’m passionate about nurturing children and I’m very patient, kind and understanding with children of all ages. I also have extensive experience in helping children learn and grow by providing educational activities. I look forward to the opportunity to join your family and care for your child!

Example 6 : Hello! I’m (Nanny name) , an experienced nanny with 8 years of experience childcare. I really enjoy working with children and watching them grow and thrive. I’m also very knowledgeable about child development, which helps me create age-appropriate activities tailored to your child’s interests. I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement and I’m looking forward to joining your family and helping your child reach their fullest potential.

Example 7 : Hi, my name is (Nanny name) and I am a certified Childcare Professional with 10 years of experience working with children. I enjoy creating meaningful relationships with children and families and I am patient, calm, and understanding. I believe in nurturing children to their fullest potential and I strive to create a safe, healthy and stimulating environment for your child. I look forward to connecting with your family and helping your child grow and learn.

Example 8 : Hi! My name is (Nanny name) and I am an experienced nanny with 7 years of experience. I am passionate about providing a safe, comfortable, and stimulating environment for your child. I also believe in building strong relationships with parents and children in order to provide the best care. I am patient, nurturing, and competent and I look forward to the opportunity to join your family.

Example 9 : My name is (Nanny name) and I’ve been a nanny for 8 years. I love each and every family I’ve been fortunate enough to work with over the years, and I take great pride in my passionate approach to childcare. I’m reliable, committed, and organized and I look forward to the opportunity to make a lasting impact in your child’s life.

Example 10 : Hi, I’m (Nanny name) and I am a Certified Childcare Professional with 10 years of experience working with children. I’m energetic, creative, and reliable with a passion for making children feel safe and secure in their environment. I’m also CPR certified and I’m committed to providing the best care for your child. I’m looking forward to joining your family and helping your child reach their fullest potential.

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  • How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

  • Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
  • Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
  • Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

  • A personal experience that changed your perspective
  • A story from your family’s history
  • A memorable teacher or learning experience
  • An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

  • Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
  • Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
  • How does it fit into the rest of your life?
  • What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

  • Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
  • Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

  • What first sparked your interest in the field?
  • Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
  • Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

  • Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
  • Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

  • Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
  • Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
  • Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

  • If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
  • If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
  • If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

  • Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
  • Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

  • Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
  • Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

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A Quick Guide to Writing Unique Caregiver Statements

Table of Contents

It is no secret that having a positive  caregiver personal statement  can give you a unique advantage during the application process.

In fact, many hiring managers regard well-written statements as an important part of an application. That’s because they offer applicants an opportunity to share their experiences and stories in a way that cannot be effectively captured on the CV.

A strong personal statement communicates your passions and motivations. It can make all the difference when competing against similarly qualified candidates.

Tips for Writing an Engaging Caregiver Personal Statement

Caregivers or care assistants are one of the most undervalued groups in the workforce today. But their time and efforts make all the difference in the lives of children, the elderly, and the sick.

If you need specific tips to make your  caregiver personal statement  stand out, this section is for you.

Focus on Relevant Strengths and Skill

A good personal statement should properly highlight the strengths and skills you’re bringing to the job . Highlight those experiences and skills that make you best suited for the position. Doing this puts you a step ahead of other candidates. Tailor the personal statement to the particular job opening that you are applying for.

Be Specific

By all means, try to be specific and engaging in your writing, using concrete examples whenever possible to illustrate your points. Don’t just write generalizations or platitudes! You should ensure that all of your statements are backed up by relevant experience or qualifications. Don’t throw empty words around.

Keep It Brief

Like any other type of personal statement, this should be brief too. Employers usually aren’t interested in reading long-winded essays from potential employees. 

Read through your personal statement carefully before submitting it. You need to ensure that there are no errors in grammar or spelling.

Examples of Caregiver Personal Statements

grayscale photo of girl in hoodie

We have a few caregiver personal statements you can use as a template. Check them out below.

 As a caregiver, I pride myself on my compassion and patience. I have extensive experience working with seniors and those who are ill or disabled. I am skilled in providing both physical and emotional support. Above all, I firmly believe in the importance of giving each individual the respect they deserve. This means spending time listening to them, talking about their day and helping them with basic tasks like bathing or getting dressed. I take great satisfaction in being able to assist someone in need. My goal is always to make sure that whoever I’m caring for feels comfortable and happy while under my care.

 As a caregiver, I pride myself on having the ability to develop strong relationships with those in my care. I do this by providing companionship or engaging in meaningful conversation. I work hard to ensure that each person under my care feels valued and loved. In addition to being able to connect with people individually, I also have experience leading group activities and handling difficult conversations. This combination of skills makes me ideally suited for a career as a caregiver and allows me to provide support both emotionally and practically.

I’m a patient, compassionate caregiver. I have over six years of experience caring for elderly family members who require assistance with their physical and emotional needs. Also, I have excellent problem-solving skills and can handle difficult situations calmly and effectively. My priority is the health and well-being of my patients, which I always seek to maintain through close communication with families.

I am an experienced nurse and professional caregiver. I have worked in a home health setting for many years. And I have experience providing care to patients with a variety of needs. I am patient, reliable, and capable of managing complex situations. Above all, I am committed to the safety and well-being of my patients.

 I am a caregiver with years of experience in the field. My work has always been centered around service, and I have found great satisfaction in being able to help others. What truly sets me apart as a caregiver is my ability to connect with people. I believe that this empathy is key in establishing trust and rapport with those under my care. In addition to my skills as a caregiver, I am also an excellent team player and work well under pressure. I firmly believe that, given the opportunity, I would be an asset to your home or organization.

My name is ________, and I am a caregiver. As someone who has worked in the service industry for 12 years, I know how to deal with different types of people. My years of experience have also taught me important skills, including patience as well as empathy. These skills come in handy when dealing with patients or elderly individuals. In addition to my work experience, I am also educated in the field of healthcare, having earned an Associate’s degree from Everest University. All these factors combine together to make me an excellent caregiver and someone who can provide quality care for your loved ones.

Final Thoughts

If followed meticulously, the tips in this guide can help you stand out from other caregivers. If you’d like to write a good personal statement faster, why not consider the Hey INK tool ? We generated the templates above with the tool.

A Quick Guide to Writing Unique Caregiver Statements

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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Facilitators and barriers in the use of the electronic consultation register for Integrated Management of Childhood Illness in the health district of Toma, Burkina Faso: Perspectives of health care providers

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Background In collaboration with the Ministry of Health and Public Hygiene (MHPH) of Burkina Faso (BF), the Foundation Terre des Hommes (Tdh) has developed the Integrated e-Diagnostic Approach (IeDA) project in BF since 2010 to strengthen the health system by digitalizing medical protocols, improving the quality of services and using data. We sought to identify and analyze the barriers and facilitators of using the electronic clinic registry (ECR) for the integrated management of childhood illness (IMCI) by healthcare providers (HCPs) in the health district of Toma, BF.

Methods We conducted a descriptive and exploratory qualitative study. In-depth individual interviews were conducted with thirty-five (35) HCPs in the health district of Toma, BF, from the 1 st to the 30 th of December 2021. Thematic analysis of qualitative data according to the Braun & Clarke model was performed using NVivo 12 software and arranged along a social-ecological model.

Results Our findings revealed that HCPs play an essential role in using ECR for IMCI. Many key facilitating factors have emerged regarding the use of IMCIs in primary health care (PHC) facilities, such as positive perceptions of the ECR, firm commitment and the involvement of HCPs, stakeholder support, collaborative networks with implementing partners, convenience, privacy, confidentiality and client trust, experience and confidence in using the system, and the satisfaction, motivation and competency of staff. In addition, the easy diagnosis offered by the ECR and the training of HCPs increased the acceptance and use of the ECR. Regarding barriers, HCPs complained about the tablet’s slowness, recurrent breakdowns, and increased workload.

Conclusion This study revealed that ECR has excellent potential to improve the quality of care and, in turn, reduce maternal and infant mortality. Although the satisfaction of the HCPs with the tool is positive, the actors of the Foundation Tdh, in collaboration with the MHPH, must work to optimize the application’s performance and reduce breakdowns and delays during consultations. This will allow the deployment of ECR in all BF health districts.

Competing Interest Statement

The authors have declared no competing interest.

Funding Statement

This study did not receive any funding

Author Declarations

I confirm all relevant ethical guidelines have been followed, and any necessary IRB and/or ethics committee approvals have been obtained.

The details of the IRB/oversight body that provided approval or exemption for the research described are given below:

The study received approval from the Burkina Faso Health Research Ethics Committee under deliberation number 2021-12-283. Investigation authorization was also obtained from the chief physician of the health district of Toma. Furthermore, the patients/participants provided written informed consent to participate in this study.

I confirm that all necessary patient/participant consent has been obtained and the appropriate institutional forms have been archived, and that any patient/participant/sample identifiers included were not known to anyone (e.g., hospital staff, patients or participants themselves) outside the research group so cannot be used to identify individuals.

I understand that all clinical trials and any other prospective interventional studies must be registered with an ICMJE-approved registry, such as ClinicalTrials.gov. I confirm that any such study reported in the manuscript has been registered and the trial registration ID is provided (note: if posting a prospective study registered retrospectively, please provide a statement in the trial ID field explaining why the study was not registered in advance).

I have followed all appropriate research reporting guidelines, such as any relevant EQUATOR Network research reporting checklist(s) and other pertinent material, if applicable.

Data Availability

All data produced in the present work are contained in the manuscript

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  21. Facilitators and barriers in the use of the electronic consultation

    Conclusion This study revealed that ECR has excellent potential to improve the quality of care and, in turn, reduce maternal and infant mortality. Although the satisfaction of the HCPs with the tool is positive, the actors of the Foundation Tdh, in collaboration with the MHPH, must work to optimize the application's performance and reduce breakdowns and delays during consultations.