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Looking for grad school personal statement examples? Look no further! In this total guide to graduate school personal statement examples, we’ll discuss why you need a personal statement for grad school and what makes a good one. Then we’ll provide three graduate school personal statement samples from our grad school experts. After that, we’ll do a deep dive on one of our personal statement for graduate school examples. Finally, we’ll wrap up with a list of other grad school personal statements you can find online.

Why Do You Need a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a chance for admissions committees to get to know you: your goals and passions, what you’ll bring to the program, and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.  You need to sell the admissions committee on what makes you a worthwhile applicant. The personal statement is a good chance to highlight significant things about you that don’t appear elsewhere on your application.

A personal statement is slightly different from a statement of purpose (also known as a letter of intent). A statement of purpose/letter of intent tends to be more tightly focused on your academic or professional credentials and your future research and/or professional interests.

While a personal statement also addresses your academic experiences and goals, you have more leeway to be a little more, well, personal. In a personal statement, it’s often appropriate to include information on significant life experiences or challenges that aren’t necessarily directly relevant to your field of interest.

Some programs ask for both a personal statement and a statement of purpose/letter of intent. In this case, the personal statement is likely to be much more tightly focused on your life experience and personality assets while the statement of purpose will focus in much more on your academic/research experiences and goals.

However, there’s not always a hard-and-fast demarcation between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. The two statement types should address a lot of the same themes, especially as relates to your future goals and the valuable assets you bring to the program. Some programs will ask for a personal statement but the prompt will be focused primarily on your research and professional experiences and interests. Some will ask for a statement of purpose but the prompt will be more focused on your general life experiences.

When in doubt, give the program what they are asking for in the prompt and don’t get too hung up on whether they call it a personal statement or statement of purpose. You can always call the admissions office to get more clarification on what they want you to address in your admissions essay.

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What Makes a Good Grad School Personal Statement?

A great graduate school personal statement can come in many forms and styles. However, strong grad school personal statement examples all share the same following elements:

A Clear Narrative

Above all, a good personal statement communicates clear messages about what makes you a strong applicant who is likely to have success in graduate school. So to that extent, think about a couple of key points that you want to communicate about yourself and then drill down on how you can best communicate those points. (Your key points should of course be related to what you can bring to the field and to the program specifically).

You can also decide whether to address things like setbacks or gaps in your application as part of your narrative. Have a low GPA for a couple semesters due to a health issue? Been out of a job for a while taking care of a family member? If you do decide to explain an issue like this, make sure that the overall arc is more about demonstrating positive qualities like resilience and diligence than about providing excuses.

Specific Examples

A great statement of purpose uses specific examples to illustrate its key messages. This can include anecdotes that demonstrate particular traits or even references to scholars and works that have influenced your academic trajectory to show that you are familiar and insightful about the relevant literature in your field.

Just saying “I love plants,” is pretty vague. Describing how you worked in a plant lab during undergrad and then went home and carefully cultivated your own greenhouse where you cross-bred new flower colors by hand is much more specific and vivid, which makes for better evidence.

A strong personal statement will describe why you are a good fit for the program, and why the program is a good fit for you. It’s important to identify specific things about the program that appeal to you, and how you’ll take advantage of those opportunities. It’s also a good idea to talk about specific professors you might be interested in working with. This shows that you are informed about and genuinely invested in the program.

Strong Writing

Even quantitative and science disciplines typically require some writing, so it’s important that your personal statement shows strong writing skills. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and that you don’t have any grammar and spelling errors. It’s helpful to get other people to read your statement and provide feedback. Plan on going through multiple drafts.

Another important thing here is to avoid cliches and gimmicks. Don’t deploy overused phrases and openings like “ever since I was a child.” Don’t structure your statement in a gimmicky way (i.e., writing a faux legal brief about yourself for a law school statement of purpose). The first will make your writing banal; the second is likely to make you stand out in a bad way.

Appropriate Boundaries

While you can be more personal in a personal statement than in a statement of purpose, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your writing. Don’t overshare anything too personal about relationships, bodily functions, or illegal activities. Similarly, don’t share anything that makes it seem like you may be out of control, unstable, or an otherwise risky investment. The personal statement is not a confessional booth. If you share inappropriately, you may seem like you have bad judgment, which is a huge red flag to admissions committees.

You should also be careful with how you deploy humor and jokes. Your statement doesn’t have to be totally joyless and serious, but bear in mind that the person reading the statement may not have the same sense of humor as you do. When in doubt, err towards the side of being as inoffensive as possible.

Just as being too intimate in your statement can hurt you, it’s also important not to be overly formal or staid. You should be professional, but conversational.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Our graduate school experts have been kind enough to provide some successful grad school personal statement examples. We’ll provide three examples here, along with brief analysis of what makes each one successful.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 1

PDF of Sample Personal Statement 1 – Japanese Studies

For this Japanese Studies master’s degree, the applicant had to provide a statement of purpose outlining her academic goals and experience with Japanese and a separate personal statement describing her personal relationship with Japanese Studies and what led her to pursue a master’s degree.

Here’s what’s successful about this personal statement:

• An attention-grabbing beginning: The applicant begins with the statement that Japanese has never come easily to her and that it’s a brutal language to learn. Seeing as how this is an application for a Japanese Studies program, this is an intriguing beginning that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A compelling narrative: From this attention-grabbing beginning, the applicant builds a well-structured and dramatic narrative tracking her engagement with the Japanese language over time. The clear turning point is her experience studying abroad, leading to a resolution in which she has clarity about her plans. Seeing as how the applicant wants to be a translator of Japanese literature, the tight narrative structure here is a great way to show her writing skills.
• Specific examples that show important traits: The applicant clearly communicates both a deep passion for Japanese through examples of her continued engagement with Japanese and her determination and work ethic by highlighting the challenges she’s faced (and overcome) in her study of the language. This gives the impression that she is an engaged and dedicated student.

Overall, this is a very strong statement both in terms of style and content. It flows well, is memorable, and communicates that the applicant would make the most of the graduate school experience.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 2

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 2 – Musical Composition

This personal statement for a Music Composition master’s degree discusses the factors that motivate the applicant to pursue graduate study.

Here’s what works well in this statement:

• The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: her experiences with music growing up, and her family’s musical history. She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis.
• The description of her ancestors’ engagement with music is very compelling and memorable. The applicant paints her own involvement with music as almost inevitable based on her family’s long history with musical pursuits.
• The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively. We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community.

This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application (like work samples) are probably the most important.  However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:

• I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into 2-3 separate paragraphs. I might use one paragraph to orient the reader to the family’s musical history, one paragraph to discuss Giacomo and Antonio, and one paragraph to discuss how the family has influenced the applicant. As it stands, it’s a little unwieldy and the second paragraph doesn’t have a super-clear focus even though it’s all loosely related to the applicant’s family history with music.
• I would also slightly shorten the anecdote about the applicant’s ancestors and expand more on how this family history has motivated the applicant’s interest in music. In what specific ways has her ancestors’ perseverance inspired her? Did she think about them during hard practice sessions? Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 3

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 3 – Public Health

This is my successful personal statement for Columbia’s Master’s program in Public Health. We’ll do a deep dive on this statement paragraph-by-paragraph in the next section, but I’ll highlight a couple of things that work in this statement here:

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• This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
• This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. But because the paragraphs are organized and I use specific examples, it doesn’t feel too vague or scattered.
• In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande. This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.

Grad School Personal Statement Example: Deep Dive

Now let’s do a deep dive, paragraph-by-paragraph, on one of these sample graduate school personal statements. We’ll use my personal statement that I used when I applied to Columbia’s public health program.

Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother (a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist) ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.

This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.

It’s good that I connect this family history to my own interests. However, if I were to revise this paragraph again, I might cut down on some of the detail because when it comes down to it, this story isn’t really about me. It’s important that even (sparingly used) anecdotes about other people ultimately reveal something about you in a personal statement.

Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest. In January 2012, my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. Doctors in America subsequently diagnosed Fred with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). My parents were told that if Fred’s condition had been discovered in China, the (very poor) orphanage in which he spent the first 8+ years of his life would have recognized his DMD as a death sentence and denied him sustenance to hasten his demise.

Here’s another compelling anecdote to help explain my interest in public health. This is an appropriately personal detail for a personal statement—it’s a serious thing about my immediate family, but it doesn’t disclose anything that the admissions committee might find concerning or inappropriate.

If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. “Denied him sustenance to hasten his demise” is a little flowery. “Denied him food to hasten his death” is actually more powerful because it’s clearer and more direct.

Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities. The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.

In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.

Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. Understanding the underlying structure of a group’s culture is essential to successfully communicating with the group. In studying folklore and mythology, I’ve learned how to parse the unspoken structures of folk groups, and how those structures can be used to build bridges of understanding. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft.

In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The (very brief) analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.

Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health.

This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry. It also allows me to mention my work with data and quantitative analytics, which isn’t necessarily obvious from my academic background, which was primarily based in the social sciences.

Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad.

This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions. Unfortunately, it’s a little disjointed, primarily because I discuss goals of pursuing a PhD before I talk about what certificate I want to pursue within the MPH program! Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense.

I also start two sentences in a row with “I intend,” which is repetitive.

The final sentence is a little bit generic; I might tailor it to specifically discuss a gender and sexual health issue, since that is the primary area of interest I’ve identified.

This was a successful personal statement; I got into (and attended!) the program. It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program (its interdisciplinary focus) and what competencies I would bring (a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare). However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples You Can Find Online

So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school? Examples are everywhere on the internet, but they aren’t all of equal quality.

Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones here if you are looking for more personal statement examples for graduate school.

Penn State Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field.

The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches. However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them.

Cal State Sample Graduate School Personal Statements

These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays.

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However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above 1000 and one is almost 1500 words! Many programs limit you to 500 words; if you don’t have a limit, you should try to keep it to two single-spaced pages at most (which is about 1000 words).

University of Chicago Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics. The writing in all is very vivid, and all communicate clear messages about the students’ strengths and competencies.

Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. In fact, one major thing to note is that many of these responses, while well-written and vivid, barely address the students’ interest in law school at all! This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 10

This successful essay for law school from a Wheaton College undergraduate does a great job tracking the student’s interest in the law in a compelling and personal way. Wheaton offers other graduate school personal statement examples, but this one offers the most persuasive case for the students’ competencies. The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 1

Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. However, I’ve actually included this essay because it demonstrates an extremely risky approach. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. The student’s decision not to report the drill sergeant may read incredibly poorly to some admissions committees. They may wonder if the student’s failure to report the sergeant’s violence will ultimately expose more soldiers-in-training to the same kinds of abuses. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled

It’s actually hard to get a complete picture of the student’s true motivations from this essay, and what we have might raise real questions about the student’s character to some admissions committees. This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.

Key Takeaways: Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. (It’s more personal!)

We also discussed what you’ll find in a strong sample personal statement for graduate school:

• A clear narrative about the applicant and why they are qualified for graduate study.
• Specific examples to support that narrative.
• Compelling reasons why the applicant and the program are a good fit for each other.
• Strong writing, including clear organization and error-free, cliche-free language.
• Appropriate boundaries—sharing without over-sharing.

Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement.

Finally, we provided a list of other sample grad school personal statements online.

What’s Next?

Want more advice on writing a personal statement ? See our guide.

Writing a graduate school statement of purpose? See our statement of purpose samples  and a nine-step process for writing the best statement of purpose possible .

If you’re writing a graduate school CV or resume, see our how-to guide to writing a CV , a how-to guide to writing a resume , our list of sample resumes and CVs , resume and CV templates , and a special guide for writing resume objectives .

Need stellar graduate school recommendation letters ? See our guide.

See our 29 tips for successfully applying to graduate school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Ellen McCammon

Ellen is a public health graduate student and education expert. She has extensive experience mentoring students of all ages to reach their goals and in-depth knowledge on a variety of health topics. View all posts by Ellen McCammon

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• Knowledge Base
• Applying to graduate school
• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

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Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School: Good, Bad, & Everything In Between

Your personal statement should demonstrate that you have thought deeply about why you are making the decision to go to grad school and that you are an excellent fit for your target school. Sound a little challenging? Don’t worry, these personal statement examples will break down the strategy of writing a strong graduate school application.

Comparing Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Below I will share two examples of personal statements. The first has a strong writing approach, but the second lacks clarity and may cause confusion for its reader. Then I will describe the strengths and weaknesses of each example.

Introduction Paragraph Examples:

Ex. 1-Strong) The ocean is as fundamental to our lives as any other ecological habitat, so why don’t we have systems in place to treat it that way? Growing up in Monterey, California I was first introduced to marine biology through my advanced placement biology class. While in community college I helped form a student-led monthly beach clean-up team. This rewarding experience led me to pursue an undergraduate degree in Biology with an emphasis in ocean preservation. My passion for developing innovative and culturally informed approaches to marine preservation on a global scale have led me to pursue a doctorate in the field of marine biology. My desired research focus will explore solutions to the impacts of micro plastics in our ocean.

Ex. 2-Weak) Yea sure, the ocean is in a devastated condition, but what are we going to do about it? Well, with my degree in bio I plan to get a PhD in marine biology to help figure out how to address micro plastics in our ocean. I know so much already, and I just know that with a PhD I will be able to contribute on a greater scale. I know the PhD is a lot of work, but I am pretty sure I will be able to complete the program and have a great time doing so. I have always wanted to live in Santa Barbara, and that is definitely a part of my decision to apply to your program.

Diving Deeper Into Personal Statement Introductions

So, let’s discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the example introductions above!

Introduction Paragraph “Strong” Example:

• Throughout the paragraph the applicant demonstrates that they have been involved with marine biology since high school. This is important because it demonstrates their commitment to the field early on in the essay.

Introduction Paragraph “Weak” Example:

• The applicant mentions a desire to live in Santa Barbara. While it may be true, it is not a strong enough reason to pursue a PhD and signals to the admissions committee that you may be pursuing the program for the wrong reasons. Keep details like this out of your personal statement and focus on reasons for applying that are academically motivated.

Conclusion Paragraph Examples:

Ex. 1-Strong) As a first generation college student, and an English language learner, my journey to receive my bachelors of science in marine biology has been tough. Along the way I have developed leadership skills, research and lab experience, as well as a refined passion for the work that marine biologists are able to do when informed by the local community members. I desire to continue my studies with an emphasis on ocean preservation research through the innovative and unique PhD program offered at UC Santa Barbara. It would be an honor to work with Dr. Jonas Mendoza and Dr. Raquel Pacheco, two professors whose work aligns with my research interests and who have been welcoming and encouraging through our email correspondence. While my research goals are ambitious, I am confident that your program offers the resources and mentorship required for a unified effort to resolve the impact that microplastics have on not only human life, but all marine animals and ecosystems.

Ex2. -Weak) I think it’s a miracle that I even completed my B.S degree! That’s how I know that with the funding and laid back atmosphere at UC Santa Barbara I can definitely complete the PhD. I’m not so interested in the teaching part, or the amount of course work I would be required to take, but I just know that once I get out there and get into the water, it will all be worth it. My research experience is competitive and top-notch, I am a great person to work with and easily make friends. I am hopeful to hear back and excited for the next steps! Thanks for reading this far.

Conclusion Paragraph “Strong” Example

• The applicant concludes by mentioning the importance of a “unified effort” for their research goals. This goes a long way to demonstrate that they understand how important collaborative effort is. This helps make an applicant more attractive in the eyes of an admissions committee that must also consider the work ethic of all applicants.

Conclusion Paragraph “Weak” Example:

• The applicant describes their research experience as “competitive and top-notch”. Even if you have the most impressive CV, focus instead on listing what you have done, with who and what the outcomes were. Let the admissions committee decide how they interpret it.

So, what makes a good personal statement?

Your personal statement is one of many that an admissions committee will read, all to identify the strongest applicants. Remember, the committee members haven’t met you yet. They rely solely on your application materials to form their first impression. Leaving out crucial details is not an option.

Many students find it hard to talk about themselves, often worrying it might seem like bragging. But overcoming that discomfort is essential. Think of your personal statement as your first chance to introduce yourself to the committee. Make it count by addressing the following key points:

Who are you?

While your personal statement should personalize and humanize you as an applicant, remember that you’re more than just your GPA and transcripts. Admissions committees know this. However, every detail you include must work towards crafting a profile that appeals to the committee.

Are you a good fit?

What makes you prepared for the program? When discussing your academic background, be specific about what has prepared you for this program. Don’t miss the chance to showcase what sets you apart from other applicants by highlighting your years of hard work.

Demonstrating your fit can be challenging, especially if you’re changing careers or pursuing a new field. However, if you qualify to apply, ensure your writing clearly connects your current experience to your goals within the program. Don’t assume the committee will understand how your work relates—spell out every connection and detail for them.

Demonstrate that you understand appropriate and professional boundaries:

One of the most common questions my undergraduate students ask when applying to graduate school is, “How much personal information should I include in my application?” The answer: only as much as you’re comfortable sharing and only information that intentionally shapes the profile of an ideal candidate.

I advise against taking risks by including jokes, controversial opinions not already addressed by the program, or references that might cause confusion or be off-putting. Keep your focus on crafting a strong, professional profile.

What do you intend to accomplish/contribute to the field?

The admissions committee wants to know: if you’re admitted to the program, then what? Be clear about your goals and don’t shy away from specifics. What’s your “end goal”? If you know it, include it in your essay. If you’re still figuring it out, describe what you’re working towards more broadly.

However, avoid language that suggests uncertainty about whether graduate school is right for you. Always write with confidence, showing that you’re sure of your decision, even if you’re still considering your options for after graduation.

Admissions committees have been through graduate school themselves. They know it’s not a choice made just because “you don’t know what else to do.” Show that you’re ready for the commitment and hard work by clearly explaining why you’ve decided that graduate school is the best option for you right now. Highlight how your current and past experiences align with your intentions if admitted into the program.

A strong personal statement will address all these questions while respecting appropriate boundaries. Ultimately, it will show the committee that you are prepared for the program, likely to succeed if admitted, and deeply committed to a career where the training and degree you’ll receive are crucial to your future goals.

The importance of a clear narrative:

A clear narrative helps the admissions committee easily extract the necessary information about you. Remember, you’re one applicant among many. Don’t assume your reader will understand the significance of any detail or context unless you provide it. Keep these tips in mind when writing:

• Do not overestimate the importance of proofreading! Read your essays out loud and record the audio while doing it. Does it flow? Does it answer every question provided in the prompt (if provided one)? I recommend finding at least one person who is in graduate school and preferably within your field to read your essay.

Summary and Tips

The personal statement is usually just 1-2 pages. With a document this short and with so much importance towards your chances of admission, every word matters! Consider these takeaways and do your research at every stage of the writing process.

Before you start writing, gather all the information you’ll need. Pull details from this blog post, the program’s official website, and any correspondence with professors or graduate students at each program you’re applying to. Create a document listing every experience and detail you want to include. Use this as a reference while writing to ensure you cover every important point.

Don’t skip this step! Reach out to current graduate students or a writing service for feedback. Double-check your work for any language that’s too casual or might be off-putting or concerning to those reviewing your application.

Remember, admissions committees are made up of real people who read countless applications. Do your best to stand out by highlighting what truly sets you apart and the skills you’ve developed that are relevant to the program. Once you have your first draft, refine your language to be both professional and captivating. Don’t forget to add a little flair!

Getting More Help

The graduate application process is a stressful one and can seem overwhelming if you don’t have the right support. We’re here to help guide you through all steps on your journey to graduate school. Check out our blog for more information and tips on the GRE and graduate admissions . If you haven’t taken your GRE yet, take a free practice test to jumpstart your test prep. Consider a Magoosh Premium Plan to access expert support, real ETS questions, and real application essay examples. We’re here to help!

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Writing Your Personal Statements

Your personal statement must demonstrate to the admissions committee that you have considered graduate school and their specific program seriously. It’s your opportunity to summarize your academic and research experiences. You must also communicate how your experiences are relevant to preparing you for the graduate degree that you will be pursuing and explain why a given program is the right one for you.

The personal statement is where you highlight your strengths. Make your strengths absolutely clear to the reviewers, because they will often be reading many other statements. Your self-assessments and honest conversations with peers and advisors should have also revealed your strengths. But you must also address (not blame others for) weaknesses or unusual aspects of your application or academic background.

Your personal statement should focus on two main aspects: your competence and commitment.

1. Identify your strengths in terms of competence that indicate that you will succeed in the grad program and provide examples to support your claims. Start your statement by describing your strengths immediately. Because faculty will be reading many statements, it’s important to start off with your strengths and not “bury your lede.” Consider traits of successful graduate students from your informational interviews, and identify which of these traits you have. These traits could involve research skills and experiences, expertise in working with techniques or instruments, familiarity with professional networks and resources in your field, etc.

• Check your responses from the exercises in the self-assessment section. You may wish to consult notes from your informational interviews and your Seven Stories . Write concise summaries and stories that demonstrate your strengths, e.g. how your strengths helped you to achieve certain goals or overcome obstacles.
• Summarize your research experience(s). What were the main project goals and the “big picture” questions? What was your role in this project? What did you accomplish? What did you learn, and how did you grow as a result of the experience(s)?

My research examines the interplay between U.S. domestic politics and foreign policy during the Cold War. As a native New Yorker, I saw firsthand how dramatically my city changed after 9/11, which prompted my early interest in U.S. policy at home and abroad. As an undergraduate at the City College of New York, I planned to study international relations with a focus on U.S. foreign affairs. I also quickly became involved in student activist groups that focused on raising awareness about a wide range of human rights issues, from the Syrian refugee crisis to asylum seekers from Central America.

The more I learned about the crises in the present, the more I realized that I needed a deeper understanding of the past to fully grasp them. I decided to pursue a PhD in history in order to gain a clearer understanding of human rights issues in the present and to empower young student-activists like myself.

— Vannessa Velez, PhD candidate in History

Addressing weaknesses or unusual aspects

• Identify weaknesses or unusual aspects in your application—e.g., a significant drop in your GPA during a term; weak GRE scores; changes in your academic trajectory, etc. Don’t ignore them, because ignoring them might be interpreted as blind spots for you. If you’re unsure if a particular issue is significant enough to address, seek advice from faculty mentors.
• Explain how you’ll improve and strengthen those areas or work around your weakness. Determine how you will address them in a positive light, e.g., by discussing how you overcame obstacles through persistence, what you learned from challenges, and how you grew from failures. Focusing on a growth mindset  or grit  and this blog on weaknesses might also help.
• Deal with any significant unusual aspects later in the statement to allow a positive impression to develop first.
• Explain, rather than provide excuses—i.e., address the issue directly and don’t blame others (even if you believe someone else is responsible). Draft it and get feedback from others to see if the explanation is working as you want it to.
• Provide supporting empirical evidence if possible. For example, “Adjusting to college was a major step for me, coming from a small high school and as a first-generation college student. My freshman GPA was not up to par with my typical achievements, as demonstrated by my improved  GPA of 3.8 during my second and third years in college."
• Be concise (don’t dwell on the issues), but also be complete (don’t lead to other potentially unanswered questions). For example, if a drop in grades during a term was due to a health issue, explain whether the health issue is recurring, managed now with medication, resolved, etc.

2. Explain your commitment to research and their graduate program, including your motivation for why you are applying to this graduate program at this university. Be as specific as possible. Identify several faculty members with whom you are interested in working, and explain why their research interests you.

• Descriptions of your commitment should explain why you’re passionate about this particular academic field and provide demonstrations of your commitment with stories (e.g., working long hours to solve a problem, overcoming challenges in research, resilience in pursuing problems). Don’t merely assert your commitment.
• Explain why you are applying to graduate school, as opposed to seeking a professional degree or a job. Discuss your interest and motivation for grad school, along with your future career aspirations.

I am definitely not your traditional graduate student. As a biracial (Native American and white), first-generation PhD student from a military family, I had very limited guidance on how best to pursue my education, especially when I decided that graduate school was a good idea. I ended up coming to this PhD in a very circuitous manner, stopping first to get a JD and, later, an MFA in Young Adult Literature. With each degree, I took time to work and apply what I’d learned, as a lawyer and as an educator. Each time, I realized that I was circling around questions that I couldn’t let go of—not just because I found them to be fascinating, but because I did (and still do!) feel that my research could help to bridge a gap that desperately needs bridging. Because my work is quite interdisciplinary, I strongly feel that I wouldn’t have been able to pursue this line of research without the degrees and life experience I gained before coming to this program.

— Jamie Fine, PhD candidate in Modern Thought and Literature

Statement of Purpose: subtle aspects

• Think in terms of engaging faculty in a conversation rather than pleading with them that you should be admitted. Ask reviewers to read drafts with this concern in mind.
• With later drafts, try developing an overall narrative theme. See if one emerges as you work.
• Write at least 10 drafts and expect your thinking and the essay to change quite a bit over time.
• Read drafts out loud to help you catch errors.
• Expect the "you' that emerges in your essay to be incomplete. . . that’s OK.
• You’re sharing a professional/scholarly slice of "you."
• Avoid humor (do you really know what senior academics find funny?) and flashy openings and closings. Think of pitching the essay to an educated person in the field, but not necessarily in your specialty. Avoid emotionally laden words (such as "love" or "passion"). Remember, your audience is a group of professors! Overly emotional appeals might make them uncomfortable. They are looking for scholarly colleagues.

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Writing Personal Statements for Graduate School

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Personal Statements

Preparing a well-written and effective personal statement (sometimes referred to as statements of purpose or personal essays) that clearly articulates your preparation, goals, and motivation for pursuing that specific graduate degree is critically important. You will need to spend a considerable amount of time and effort in crafting these statements. The focus, structure, and length of personal statements vary from program to program. Some will have prompts or questions you need to answer, while others will leave the topic open-ended. The length varies widely as well. Read instructions carefully and make sure to adhere to all parameters laid out in the application guidelines.

Clear writing is the result of clear thinking. The first and most important task is to decide on a message. Consider carefully which two or three points you wish to impress upon the reader, remembering that your audience is composed of academics who are experts in their fields. Your statement should show that you are able to think logically and express your thoughts in a clear and concise manner. Remember that the reader already has a record of your activities and your transcript; avoid simply restating your resume and transcript. Writing your statement will take time; start early and give yourself more than enough time for revisions. If no prompts are given, you can use the questions below to begin brainstorming content to include in your statement.

• What experiences and academic preparation do you have that are relevant to the degree you’re seeking?
• Why are you choosing to pursue a graduate degree at this time?
• Why do you want to pursue this particular degree and how will this degree and the specific program fit into your career plans and your long-term goals?
• What specific topics are you aiming to explore and what does the current literature say about those topics?

After you’ve written a first draft, start the work of editing, refining, simplifying, and polishing. Provide specific examples that will help illustrate your points and convey your interests, intentions, and motivations. Is any section, sentence, or word superfluous, ambiguous, apologetic, or awkward? Are your verbs strong and active? Have you removed most of the qualifiers? Are you sure that each activity or interest you mention supports one of your main ideas? Spelling and grammatical errors are inexcusable. Don’t rely on spell-check to catch all errors; read your statement aloud and have it reviewed by multiple people whose opinion you trust. If possible, have your statement reviewed by a writing tutor. For individual assistance with writing your personal statement, consult with the writing tutor in your residential college  or the Writing Center within the Yale Center for Teaching and Learning .

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How to Write a Graduate School Personal Statement (with example!)

Varonika Ware is a content writer at Scholarships360. Varonika earned her undergraduate degree in Mass Communications at Louisiana State University. During her time at LSU, she worked with the Center of Academic Success to create the weekly Success Sunday newsletter. Varonika also interned at the Louisiana Department of Insurance in the Public Affairs office with some of her graphics appearing in local news articles.

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Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

Congratulations on finishing your bachelor’s degree, and starting the next chapter! You might be thinking about applying to graduate school, and fortunately, it’s very similar to applying to an undergraduate program. However, it’s probably been a few years since you’ve had to write an application essay, so you might be wondering how to write a personal statement for graduate school. If so, this guide is the perfect resource for you! Keep reading below to find out more, and don’t forget to check out the example of a graduate school personal statement.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is an essay that encapsulates your personal journey and how that’s shaped who you are as an applicant. They are typically 400-600 words, but can be longer or shorter. 

Be sure not to confuse a personal statement with a statement of purpose as they are two different types of admissions essays. Use this as an opportunity to show colleges what you value and what’s turned you into an ideal student for your desired school. 

What should I write about?

Personal statements are your chance to get, well, personal. While you should answer the prompt in its entirety, you should also write about yourself. Bring a personal element into your essay like family or a story of you overcoming an obstacle. 

Ideally, your story should relate to what you’re trying to accomplish at your graduate school of choice. Tie it all together: your personal experiences, your desired major, and your ideal outcome. 

Tips for writing a personal statement for graduate school

It’s important to start your graduate application as soon as you’re able. Usually, the first round of applications receive the best financial aid packages, so start early! 

Starting sooner can also give you the time to outline your essay and get it read over by your support system. You’ll want it all to be perfect, so don’t rush.

Be transparent

Instead of telling admissions what you think they want to hear, be open and honest about yourself. You want them to understand you, and the only way to do that is to show who you actually are. Offer up personal stories or things that genuinely interest you so that you can show off your sparkling personality!

Be original

Graduate programs are often very competitive since there’s a smaller admissions pool. As a result, your essay should be as original as possible to stand out from the crowd. Tell your story in an organic way, and approach the given prompt with an open mind. 

Related : How to write an essay about yourself

Check your work

It’s extremely important for you to proofread and check for correct spelling and grammar throughout your personal statement. Even simply reading your statement out loud can help you catch any errors and make sure your words flow together. You should also consider having mentors or people within your support system read over your essay to ensure your message is clear.

Common mistakes when writing a graduate school personal statement

Reusing your undergraduate essay .

Reusing your first supplemental essay as a template is a big mistake you want to avoid. Years have passed since then, and you’ve learned new skills and grown as a person and a student. 

The experiences you previously wrote might not resonate with who you are today or tell the graduate team what they want to know about you. It may also have grammatical errors that you might not have noticed before, so take a little extra time to start from scratch and create something new.

Repeating what’s in your resume

It’s likely that your graduate school of choice will require you to upload a copy of your resume as part of your application. Therefore, the admissions committee will already know your professional background, so tell them something else about yourself or provide further depth to a job experience. Repeating yourself only tells them one thing, and you want to be the most well-rounded applicant that you can be.

Graduate school personal statement example

Prompt: Please discuss how your experiences, both personal and professional, have led you to pursue a graduate business degree at this time. What are your short- and long- term goals and how will this program and the J. Mack Robinson College of Business help you achieve these goals? (750 words max)

While many of the applications you receive will detail the many ways that person has been the first to do something, I pose a different perspective: hope to be the last. In other words, you might see me as a first-generation college student, but I see the makings of becoming the last generation to worry about generational wealth in my family. 

Though it is true that I would be the first in my family to get my master’s degree, I’m hoping that my future success means I’ll be the last “first.” It’s not lost on me what this title means, but most of all, it signifies the dawn of an era. A dynasty bred from the struggles and achievements of those before it.

These are big shoes to fill, but I’ve never been afraid of a challenge and the things I’ve learned have helped me secure my future. For example, by observing different business models throughout the years, I found a secret about marketing: people love a product that loves them back. In my case, a product that’s always loved me back were books. I’d fallen in love with bookshelves and bookstores alike, so it only makes sense that a culmination of my love of marketing and books is the goal of one day working in book publishing. I want to know the inner workings of book promotion including design decisions and book tours. Eventually, I plan on working at one of the big publishers such as Penguin Random House, Harper Collins, or Macmillan.

Fortunately, I’ve been given opportunities to decide on my own path, which I hope to execute at Georgia State University. This school’s unique curriculum will be an asset to me since there are classes that specifically cater to buyer behavior, and that’s an area of study I’m particularly interested in. The Social Media Intelligence Lab and social media marketing class will hopefully give me an inside look into influencer marketing and its impact on product profitability. According to your mission statement, GSU educates future leaders, and I want to be a part of that.

As a mentor of mine once said, knowledge is meant to be shared, and if it isn’t, it’s control. I hope to build up the people around me with knowledge and experiences as I go out into the professional world just as I hope this program will do for me. If I’m accepted into this program, I plan on using my creativity and drive for not only my success, but for my family’s as well. There may be times I fall short of a goal, but failure isn’t an option. Each benchmark professors put in front of me will be conquered, and one day, I’ll be one of your notable alumni. 

Why this essay works:

• The writer clearly researched the school and understands its values
• The prompt is answered completely and seamlessly
• The applicant knew their goals and thought of ways to achieve them at the college 
• This statement communicates not only what the college gains from this applicant’s admission, but also what the applicant gains
• It’s also well within the word limit

Frequently asked questions about how to write a graduate school personal statement

Do i have to write a personal statement to get into graduate school, how long is graduate school, do i have to take an exam to get into graduate school, scholarships360 recommended.

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Academic Personal Statement Guide + Examples for 2024

You have a bright future ahead of you in academia and you’ve already found the program of your dreams.

The only problem? 

You have to write an impressive academic personal statement that sets you apart from a sea of applicants.

We know that writing about yourself might not come naturally. And when the academic program you have your sights set on is on the line, it doesn’t make it any easier.

But there’s no need to worry!

We’ve prepared this guide to help you write your academic personal statement and secure your spot in your program of choice.

In this article, we’re going to cover:

• What Is An Academic Personal Statement?
• 7 Steps to Writing the Best Academic Personal Statement
• An Example of a Stellar Academic Personal Statement

Let’s dive in.

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What Is an Academic Personal Statement?

A personal statement is an essential part of the academic application process.

Much like a motivation letter , your academic personal statement serves to demonstrate why you’re the right candidate for the course and sell yourself as a capable student.

Your goal is to show the admissions committee that they’ll benefit from having you in their university as much as you’ll benefit from joining the program.

Academic Vs CV Personal Statement

The term ‘personal statement’ can mean different things depending on your field.

In the world of job hunting, a personal statement usually refers to a few sentences that go at the top of your CV . This paragraph is meant to convey your top skills, relevant experiences, and professional goals to a hiring manager from the get-go and increase your chances of getting an interview.

However, in the world of academia, a personal statement refers to a more in-depth description of you as a candidate. 

In a nutshell, an academic personal statement shows the admissions committee your academic achievements so far, as well as what motivated you to apply and pursue this position.

Personal statements are also often required when applying for certain jobs, much like writing a cover letter . If you’re looking at a position as a faculty member in a university or other academic institution, for example, you might be asked to provide an academic personal statement.

7 Steps to Write an Academic Personal Statement

Preparation is the key to success and this is exactly where our guide comes in handy.

So just follow these steps and you’re sure to secure your spot:

#1. Read the Brief (Carefully!)

Academic personal statements aren’t necessarily a one-size-fits-all piece of writing. 

Typically, every institution has its specific requirements on what candidates should include in their academic personal statement.

To make sure you’re on the right track with your academic personal statement, read the brief carefully. Consider taking notes and highlighting important points from your program’s brief as you go through it.

Pay attention to any specific question the university wants you to answer. If you don’t address everything the admissions board expects, your personal statement will look sloppy and you’ll be considered an inattentive candidate.

Be sure to re-read the brief after you’ve finished writing your academic personal statement, too. This way you can make sure you’ve answered everything adequately and you’ll have the opportunity to correct any slips.

#2. Research the Program

Make sure you do your homework on the academic program you’re applying to.

You can’t write a good academic personal statement without research, let alone a great one. Much like researching your employer , taking the time to learn more about your desired school and personalizing your application can make a huge difference.

For example, you can dive into how your values align with that of the school you’re applying to, and how your experience and interests relate to specific things about the program. The more you focus on how you’re the right fit for this specific position, in this specific program – the better.

Carefully read through the school and program’s official pages since everything you would need to know is probably on the school’s official website. You can also ask current and former students for help but remember that whatever they say should never replace official information when crafting your academic personal statement.

#3. Plan Your Statement

An academic personal statement is meant to explain your academic interests and shouldn’t contain irrelevant details about your personal life.

Focus on why you want to study the course you’ve chosen and provide any information about your achievements so far.

Ask yourself the following questions to get the ball rolling on what to write:

• Why do you want to study (or work) in this program? How will it benefit you?
• How do your skills match the position?
• What makes you stand out from other applicants?
• What are your exact career aspirations?
• How can you and your work benefit the institution you’re applying to?
• If you changed fields, how did you decide to apply in this direction?
• What insight can you bring thanks to your different experiences?
• How will this change of field help your future career?

Write down your answer to these questions in the first draft of your academic personal statement.

#4. Look at Example Statements

Don’t hesitate to read other people’s academic personal statements online. They’re a great source of inspiration and can help get rid of any remaining writer’s block.

If you’re struggling to understand how to meet the language and formatting requirements for your academic personal statement, seeing actual examples is the best way to learn.

But be careful – don’t copy any lines you read, no matter how impressive you think they are. 

Most universities run every academic personal statement through intensive plagiarism checking, and even a paraphrased sentence could lead to your application being rejected for plagiarism.

So pay more attention to the overall structure of the academic personal statements you read, rather than copying the exact wording.

#5. Structure the Contents

There should be a cohesive argument that your entire essay follows. Each sentence and paragraph should complement and build on the one that comes before it.

The structure of your personal statement should include:

An intriguing introduction to you as a candidate

The introductory paragraph should grab the admission committee’s attention and keep them engaged.

Here you should be sure to avoid cliches like saying how you’ve “always dreamt” of graduating from this university or of studying this exact program. Instead, give an example of what really influenced you to pursue this dream.

Here’s an example:

• I’ve always loved reading and since I was a child, it’s been my dream to graduate from Oxford University and contribute to the world of literary analysis. That’s why I spent the past year volunteering at my local writers’ society and giving constructive feedback during workshops and book discussions.
• It wasn’t until I failed my first essay assignment in secondary school that I realized the depth that lies beneath each sentence in a given text. I began to delve into the rich layers of literary texts and the intricacies of literary analysis became my passion. Although initially challenging, the depth of understanding that this field offers about human emotions, cultural contexts, and narrative structures enthralled me. I found myself questioning the narrative structures and character motivations that I had previously taken for granted, and I was eager to understand how the subtle and often overlooked elements within a text could have a profound impact on its overall interpretation. This need to fundamentally understand a given author’s work has stayed with me since and led me to pursue literary analysis as a postgraduate student.

An engaging body

The main part of your academic personal statement should detail your interests, experience, and knowledge, and how they make you suitable for the position.

This is where you should expand on your motivation and use the following tips:

• Why this university? Provide strong reasons for your choice, related to your future career or the institution’s reputation.
• Mention your relevant studies and experience. This includes projects, dissertations, essays, or work experience.
• Give evidence of key skills you have, such as research, critical thinking, communication, and time management, and explain how you can contribute to the department with them.
• Say what makes you unique as a candidate and provide an example.
• Explain who have been the main influences who put you on this path and why they’ve influenced you.
• Mention other relevant experiences, such as memberships in clubs related to the subject, awards you might have won, or impressive papers you’ve written.
• Talk about your career aspirations and how the program ties into your goal of achieving them.

Depending on the guidelines of the specific university, you could also divide your academic personal statement’s body with subheadings, such as:

• Academic background
• Research interests
• Methodological approaches
• Research experience
• Personal experience
• Extracurricular activities 
• Relevant skills
• Career aspirations

A logical conclusion

Your academic personal statement needs a conclusion that ends on an enthusiastic note.

Make sure the conclusion reiterates the main points from the body of your text.

Your relevant accomplishments and desire to attend this specific program should be clear to any reader.

#6. Pay Attention to the Language

When writing the first draft of your academic personal statement, pay attention to the language and tone you’re using.

An academic personal statement is also a formal text, so your writing should reflect that. Colloquialisms aren’t appropriate, as they would take away from the well-mannered impression you want to give the admissions committee.

However, you also want your personal statement to be straightforward and avoid any complex jargon from your field of study.

For example, your opening sentence shouldn’t be overly complicated. You should communicate everything as clearly as possible, and be inclusive to those outside of your field of study since they might be on the admissions board that’s reading your academic personal statement.

Make sure that the tone throughout your text is positive and conveys your enthusiasm for the program. Your academic personal statement should show the admissions committee that you really want to be there, and why that’s beneficial to everyone involved.

#7. Proofread Your Statement

This step probably isn’t surprising to you but it’s worth paying attention to.

Your academic personal statement is a very formal document and it should be spotless. 

So, make sure it adheres to academic writing conventions . For example, contractions like “I’m” instead of “I am” are informal, and should be avoided.

Mistakes like these are very common when writing about yourself, particularly when you’re used to describing yourself in informal environments.

Carefully proofread your academic personal statement, then run it through a grammar checker like Grammarly or Quillbot, then proofread it again.

The tiniest grammar mistake or typo could make the admissions board reject your application.

Academic Personal Statement Example

Ever since my first encounter with the enchanting worlds spun by Flaubert, Balzac, and Proust, my intellectual pursuits have gravitated toward French literature. With an undergraduate degree focused on French Language and Literature, I have been fortunate to explore my passions both theoretically and empirically, embedding them within broader themes of cultural theory and comparative literature. It is with great excitement that I apply for the postgraduate research position in the French Literature program at Kent University, with the aim of contributing novel scholarly perspectives to this captivating field.

Academic Background and Research Interests

During my undergraduate studies, I delved deeply into the realms of 19th-century Realism and Naturalism. My senior thesis, which examined the dialectics of morality and social structures in Balzac's "La Comédie Humaine," was not merely an academic exercise; it served as a crucible where my theoretical understandings were rigorously tested. This research experience intensified my interest in the complex interplay between literature and societal norms, a theme I am eager to further explore in my postgraduate work.

Methodological Approaches

My academic approach is fundamentally interdisciplinary. I strongly believe that literature should not be studied in a vacuum; rather, it should be contextualized within historical, sociological, and psychological paradigms. During a semester abroad in Paris, I took courses in cultural anthropology and French history, an enriching experience that complemented my literature-focused studies. This holistic approach will enable me to contribute a multifaceted perspective to the research endeavors at Kent University.

Previous Research and Scholarly Engagements

My scholarly activities have also extended beyond the classroom. Last summer, I participated in an international conference on French Literature and Post-Colonial Theory, presenting a paper on the depictions of colonial landscapes in Dumas' adventure novels. The opportunity to engage with academics from various disciplines provided me with fresh insights and underscored the importance of collaborative research. Further, I've had the honor of having a review article published in the Sheffield Journal of Contemporary Literary Explorations, where I critiqued a groundbreaking new translation of Verne's works.

Extracurricular Contributions and Skills

In addition to my academic achievements, I have sought to enrich my department’s intellectual community. I served as the editor of our departmental journal and organized a series of seminars featuring guest speakers from the worlds of academia and publishing. My strong organizational skills, combined with proficiency in both written and spoken French and English, make me a versatile candidate capable of adding value to the French Literature program’s broader objectives.

To summarize, my deep-rooted passion for French literature, fortified by rigorous academic training and interdisciplinary methodologies, makes me an ideal candidate for the postgraduate research position in your esteemed program. The prospect of contributing to academic discourse at Kent University is an opportunity I find deeply compelling. I am especially excited about the potential for collaborative research and interdisciplinary inquiries, which aligns perfectly with my academic philosophy. I am fully committed to leveraging my skills, experiences, and enthusiasm to make a substantive scholarly contribution to the study of French Literature. Thank you for considering my application; I am keenly looking forward to the possibility of furthering my academic journey in this vibrant intellectual community.

FAQs on Academic Personal Statements

If you’re wondering anything else about academic personal statements, check out the answers to the most frequently asked questions related to them here:

#1. How do you start a personal statement for an academic job?

Applying for an academic job is different from applying for a position as a student. First, you need to establish your qualifications and enthusiasm for the role immediately.

Start by explaining your current status, for example, as a postdoctoral researcher or an experienced member of the faculty, and specify the position you are applying for. Then follow up with your research interests or personal philosophy towards teaching.

You can add a personal anecdote or compelling fact that summarizes your academic journey so far, or your passion for the field. After that, your academic personal statement can go deeper into the qualifications from your academic CV and how you’re a great fit for the position.

#2. How do I introduce myself in an academic personal statement?

The introduction of your academic personal statement is the key to grabbing the attention of the admissions committee.

Start by stating the field or subject that interests you, and why. You can share a specific personal anecdote or observation that led you to this academic pursuit and set the stage for the detailed explanation in your main body.

The goal of your introduction is to give the reader a sense of who you are, what drives you, and why you would be a valuable addition to their department.

#3. Is an academic personal statement like an essay?

Yes, an academic personal statement can be considered a type of essay.

Both essays and academic personal statements are structured forms of writing that are meant to deliver a coherent argument and are divided into an introduction, body, and conclusion. They provide supporting evidence to prove the point and maintain a logical flow to guide the reader to the final conclusion.

However, essays tend to be objective and explore a specific topic or question in depth. Academic personal statements use similar techniques but they present the candidate’s qualifications, experiences, and aspirations in a way that’s meant to persuade the admissions committee.

#4. How long is an academic personal statement?

Typically, an academic personal statement is between 500 and 1000 words long.

The exact length of the text varies depending on the university and program you’re applying to. You should always check the specific requirements for your desired program, and stick to the guidelines you find.

However, if the university you’re applying to doesn’t specify a word count, you should aim for one to two pages.

#5. What do I avoid in an academic personal statement?

Since your personal statement is a crucial part of your academic application, it’s important to avoid any common mistakes.

Make sure the content of your academic personal statement isn’t too generic. Its goal is to give insight into you as an individual, beyond what can be read in your CV . 

You should also avoid cramming too many points in your text. Your academic personal statement should follow a logical flow, and focus on the relevance of what you’re sharing about yourself and how it relates to the academic program you’re pursuing.

Key Takeaways

And that concludes our guide to writing an academic personal statement!

We hope you feel more confident when crafting your application for that academic program or faculty position you have your sights set on.

Now let’s recap what we talked about so far:

• Academic personal statements are very different from CV personal statements. While CV personal statements are brief paragraphs at the top of the page, an academic personal statement is an in-depth text that details why you’re interested in a given position, and what makes you a good candidate.
• The guidelines on academic personal statements vary according to the institution you’re applying to. Read the brief very carefully, and pay attention to what it says about word count and questions your personal statement should answer. Any mistakes here could result in rejection.
• There are differences between applying for a postgraduate program and applying for a faculty position. But in both cases, you should research the exact place you want to apply to and adjust your application accordingly to match the institution’s values.
• Always proofread your academic personal statement before sending it, even if you’re sure there are no errors.

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How to Write a Stand-Out Personal Statement for Your Graduate School Application

While deciding to embark on the path to graduate school is an exciting first step toward advancing your career, the application process can sometimes feel daunting and confusing.

One major part of the application that most schools require is a personal statement. Writing a personal statement can be an arduous task: After all, most people don’t necessarily enjoy writing about themselves, let alone at length.

A compelling personal statement, however, can help bring your application to the top of the admissions pile. Below, we’ve outlined what you need to know about crafting a personal statement to make your application shine.

What Is a Personal Statement?

The point of a personal statement is for the admissions board to gain a deeper understanding of who you are apart from your education and work experience. It explains why you’re the right fit for the program and a worthwhile applicant. It’s also an opportunity to highlight important factors that may not be readily available in the rest of your application.

A personal statement is different from a statement of purpose (if you’re asked for that as well). A statement of purpose will touch on your academic and career goals, as well as your past credentials. While those should also be discussed in your personal statement, it’s more about your life experiences and how they’ve shaped you and your journey to graduate school.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing a Personal Statement

Before you start crafting your essay, there are a few prompts you can ask yourself to help clarify what you want to accomplish.

• What are the key points you want to communicate about yourself?
• What personal characteristics or skills do you have that make you a strong candidate for this field?
• What exactly are your career goals, and how does graduate school play into them?
• What have you learned about this field already? When did you first choose to follow this path, and what do you enjoy about it?
• What do you think is important for the admissions board to know specifically about you?
• Are there any discrepancies or causes for concern in your application you need to address? For example, is there a career and schooling gap, or a low GPA at one point? This is the time to discuss whether a personal hardship may have affected your academics or career.
• Have you dealt with any unusual obstacles or difficulties in your life? How have they affected and shaped you?
• What sets you apart and makes you unique from other graduate school applicants?
• What factors in your life have brought you to where you are today?

Top Tips for Writing a Graduate School Personal Statement

Pick a few points to emphasize about yourself . Introduce yourself to the admissions board. Select key factors about your background that you want the university to know — elements that reveal what kind of person you are and demonstrate why you’re a strong candidate for the school and field of study.

Be very specific . Again, a personal statement is all about communicating what distinguishes you from other applicants. To accomplish that, you need to share specific anecdotes that underscore your statements. If you say you’re a strong leader, present an example of a time you’ve proven that skill through work, school or your personal life. These specific, personal stories provide a deeper understanding of who you are and prove your intentions.

Do your research . Demonstrate what attracted you to the program. If there is a specific faculty member or class that caught your attention, or another aspect of the program that greatly interests you, convey it. This shows you’ve truly researched the school and have a passion for the program.

“Whatever the topic may be, I would recommend writing in a manner that reflects or parallels the institution’s and/or department’s missions, goals and values,” said Moises Cortés, a graduate/international credentials analyst for the Office of Graduate Admission at USC .

Address any gaps or discrepancies . Explain any factors that may have impacted your academic career. If you had an illness or any other personal hardships that affected your grades or work, discuss them. If there is a discrepancy between your grades and your test scores, you can also take the time to go over any extenuating circumstances.

Strike the right tone . While it’s important to give readers a glimpse of your personality, avoid oversharing or revealing intimate details of your life experiences. You should also avoid making jokes or using humorous cliches. Maintain a professional tone throughout your writing.

Start strong and finish strong . As with any piece of writing, you want to draw in your readers immediately. Make sure to start off with an interesting and captivating introduction. Similarly, your conclusion should be a well-written, engaging finish to the essay that highlights any important points.

“ For a personal statement, I think the first and last paragraphs are most important and should always relate the program they are applying to their own experiences and ideas,” Hoon H. Kang, a graduate/international credential analyst with the Office of Graduate Admission, told USC Online.

Proofread, proofread and proofread again . We can’t emphasize enough the importance of rereading your work. Your personal statement is also an analysis of your writing skills, so ensure you have proper grammar and spelling throughout. In addition, we recommend having multiple people look over your statement before submission. They can help with the proofreading (a second person always catches a mistake the writer may miss), give advice about the statement’s structure and content, and confirm it’s the proper recommended length.

Once you’ve considered all of the above and reviewed and edited your personal statement to perfection, it’s time to submit and check off any remaining application requirements, including your resume and letters of recommendation .

Personal statements are arguably one of the most challenging aspects of applying to graduate school, so make sure to revel in this accomplishment and acknowledge your successes.

For more information, visit the  Office of Graduate Admission at USC  and explore  USC Online ’s master’s degrees, doctoral programs and graduate certificates.

• 3 Successful Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

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As part of your application for graduate school , you will be required to write a personal statement to accompany your application.

For most students, this can be quite a challenge. To make matters worse, the personal statement plays a significant role in determining whether you will be admitted into graduate school, and therefore, getting it wrong could mess up your entire career path .

If you are in the process of applying for graduate school and are wondering how to go about writing your personal statement, this article will teach you everything you need to know about creating a high quality personal statement.

We will also show you three examples of successful graduate school personal statements so that you will have an idea of the kind of personal statement you should be aiming for.

Before that, however, let’s start by understanding what exactly the personal statement is.

WHAT IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT?

If you have ever applied for graduate school, you have probably come across the personal statement. A personal statement on a grad school application is basically a short essay that allows you to introduce yourself to the grad school and explain why you are interested in pursuing a particular program in that school.

When applying for grad school, you also provide your test scores and your GPA. So, why does the university still need a personal statement to determine if you are a good fit for the program you are applying for?

While your test scores and GPA show your qualifications and your mental aptitude , they don’t give a complete picture of who you are as a person.

The personal statement gives you a chance to express yourself to the university and make a case for yourself on why you are a good fit for the program you are interested in, as well as the value you will add to the crop of first year students joining university that year.

On top of your test scores and GPA, the personal statement gives you a chance to tell the admissions committee what your goals are, what you are passionate about, what you intend or hope to gain by taking the program you are applying for, as well as what favorable thing you are bringing to the program.

In other words, you are being asked to make a case for why that opportunity should be given to you instead of another candidate. Since this is an open-ended document, this is your chance to highlight important facts about yourself and personal strengths that you might be unable to highlight anywhere else in your application.

IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT THE SAME AS A STATEMENT OF PURPOSE?

Sometimes, grad school applicants confuse between the personal statement and the statement of purpose , which is sometimes referred to as a letter of intent. However, the two are different documents, even though both play a role in getting you admitted to grad school.

The statement of purpose has a great focus on your credentials, both academic and professional, as well as your future professional intentions. In other words, the statement of purpose is a bit formal and rigid. It doesn’t really take into account who you are as a person.

While the personal statement can also talk about your academic and professional qualifications, you have the freedom to talk about matters that are a bit more personal, such as life experiences that made you into the person you are today, as well as any experiences that might have shaped your interest in the field you are applying for.

This is what helps the personal statement to give the admissions committee a better picture of who you are.

Unfortunately, the freedom you have when it comes to writing the personal statement can sometimes make it even more challenging to write, because you don’t have any set of instructions to guide you.

It’s good to note that, depending on the university you are applying to, you might be asked to write both the personal statement and the letter of intent.

TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE AN AMAZING PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR YOUR GRAD SCHOOL APPLICATION

Considering personal statements don’t come with any set of instructions to guide grad school applicants, there is no one size fits all approach to writing the personal statement.

That said, there are still qualities that contribute to a great personal statement, regardless of whatever form or style you choose for your personal statement.

Below, let’s look at some tips that will help you come up with an amazing personal statement and increase your chances of having your grad school application approved.

Make Sure Your Personal Statement Has A Clear Narrative

One of the downsides of having the freedom to write whatever you want in your personal statement is that you might be tempted to tell the admissions committee everything about yourself.

Everyone has multiple things that make them the person they are, and you might feel that to give the admissions committee a complete picture of who you are, you need to tell them about everything you have done in life and all the significant highlights in your life.

The problem with this is that it leaves the admissions committee overwhelmed. At the end of the day, a personal statement that tries to tell everything doesn’t accomplish anything.

So, what should you do?

Before you start writing your personal statement, sit down and think about the message you want your personal statement to communicate. Of course, this message needs to be one that will make you come across as a strong applicant.

For instance, you might want to focus on your passion for the program or field, experiences that made you interested in the field, something big you want to achieve in that field, and so on. You might also decide to address some aspect of your application that might raise questions in the minds of the admissions committee.

For instance, if you have some setbacks in your application (such as low GPA in a certain semester because you dealing with an illness), you can use the personal statement to address such issues and put the admissions committee at ease.

Once you have figured out the message you want to communicate, you can now think about the best way to pass this message.

The point here is to get the admissions committee interested in your narrative enough to grant you an interview , where you can share more about yourself and convince them to give you the opportunity to pursue the program you are applying for.

Use Specific Examples

If you want your personal statement to be effective, don’t just mention your strengths, your passions, and so on. Instead, you want to include specific examples and anecdotes that demonstrate these strengths and passions.

The idea is to show rather than tell. For instance, don’t just say you love architecture. Instead, describe how you used to build miniature versions of some of the most magnificent buildings in your city using various materials and sell them. Such a description is more powerful.

It shows that your love for architecture is not just a baseless claim, but something that you are actually passionate about.

Show That You Are A Good For The Program

The reason you are writing the personal statement is to show that you are a good fit for the program you are applying for, so don’t forget to show that in your personal statement. Are there things about the program that you find appealing?

Talk about them. Do you have certain strengths and skills that boost your chances of performing well in that program? Talk about them. Do you admire certain individuals in that field? Talk about them.

The aim is to show the admissions committee that by approving your application, they won’t have wasted an opportunity that would have been better given to someone else.

Showcase Your Writing Skills

Regardless of the program you are applying for, you will need to do some kind of writing, and therefore, you can treat your personal statement as a chance to showcase your strong writing skills .

Make sure that your personal statement passes your message in a clear way, avoid using tired clichés, and make sure that your personal statement is free of spelling and grammatical errors.

Once you are done writing your personal statement, go through it a couple times to make sure that it looks professional.

You can even have a trusted friend look it over for you. They are more likely to catch errors and mistakes that you might have missed.

Keep Your Audience In Mind

When writing your personal statement, don’t get carried away too much and forget that you are not writing for yourself, but for the admissions committee.

This means that when writing the personal statement, you should put yourself in the shoes of someone who is part of the admissions committee and think of the kind of content you would want to read if you were in that position.

Some opinions and perspectives that might seem okay to you as a student might not sound so good to someone else.

Therefore, take a moment to think about how your audience will perceive whatever you are writing down, otherwise you might end up sabotaging yourself.

Maintain Appropriate Boundaries

Just because the personal statement puts more focus on who you are as a person doesn’t mean that you are free to share each and everything about yourself.

Ultimately, the personal statement is still a professional document, and therefore, you should maintain appropriate boundaries as you write.

For instance, you might want to avoid talking about illegal or inappropriate activities you might have engaged in, things that are too personal for you, such as your relationships, or information that might end up presenting you as a risky investment.

If you decide to use jokes and humor in your writing, you should be careful to ensure that your humor might not be perceived as offensive by whoever is going to read your personal statement.

Try as much as possible to keep your writing as appropriate as possible, and if you find yourself in doubt, err towards the side of caution.

EXAMPLES OF SUCCESSFUL PERSONAL STATEMENTS

Now that you know the important things to keep in mind when writing your personal statements, let us take a look at 3 examples of successful graduate school personal statements. You can use these examples as inspiration to come up with your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example 1

It would be grandiose for me to claim that I had a clear plan for what I was going to do in life from an early age. However, I was certain of one thing – whatever I was going to do, it would definitely revolve around books. My love for books began early. As a young boy, I remember spending hours in my father’s library, lost into the endless worlds conjured by the words of various authors. This love for books and words was cemented when I joined college for my undergraduate studies. While I majored in both English and Theater, I quickly realized that my greatest focus was on the former. One of my professors was heavily indulged in critical theory, and as a result of my relationship with this professor, I gradually found myself intrigued with critical theory as well. With encourage from this professor, I started exploring the analysis of non-canon works such as graphic novels, romance novels, and fan-authored fiction. While I certainly was a fan of classical works, exploring and analyzing new works felt quite refreshing. Following my graduation, I was fortunate enough to hold a variety of odd jobs here and there. While I worked a couple of these jobs, there are a few that stood out to me, and as you might have guessed, they had something to do with my passion for the written word. The jobs that stood out for me include working as an editor for a marketing firm, working as a blogger for a civil society organization, and working as a freelance ghostwriter for clients I found on Upwork. While I enjoyed these three jobs, because they involved doing something that was dear to me, I noticed that I still missed the part of me that I left in undergrad. The part that involved dissembling a piece of writing and putting it back out into the universe as something new. After a few years of soul searching and introspection, I finally came to the conclusion that the best option for me was to proceed to graduate school. This would allow me to get back to what I loved most and hone my skills. I mentioned that early in life, I didn’t have a pretty concrete idea of what I was going to do with my adult life. Since then, however, I have had a chance to experience life, and I now know what I want with my life. I believe that graduate education at XYZ University will set me on the right path towards what I want to do with my life. Following my graduate education at XYZ University, my life will go in one of three directions: pursuing a PHD in English literature, pursuing a career as a teacher, or pursuing a career in book publishing. Graduate studies will lay a foundation for all three options. As such, I am certain that pursuing a graduate education at XYZ University presents the best path towards the achievement of my professional aspirations.

Personal Statement Example 2

I remember the first time the fire of my interest in law was sparked. I was attending a careers fair, and I ended up talking to a solicitor from one of the law firms from downtown. As he spoke to me about his experiences in various cases, I was fascinated by the fact that his work involved using logical arguments to protect vulnerable people from difficult and unfair situations. So fascinated was I by this that I requested him to allow me to shadow him for a day or two and experience what it was like working as a solicitor. Fortunately, he allowed me to do this for two weeks. Over the course of this period, I attended client meetings with him, sat in court, and provided assistance with office tasks. By the end of the two weeks, I was sold – I was definitely going to pursue a career in law. This is what led me to pursue a degree in law, which I will be completing in a few months’ time. While pursuing my law degree, I have also had the opportunity of interning for two different law firms in downtown Manhattan. During these internships, I got to experience many different sides of a law career. Ultimately, however, I realized that my strongest interest lies in criminology. Not only am I interested in the laws that determine whether a person’s actions amount to a criminal offense or not, but also in the factors that lead to people committing criminal offenses.  I am applying for this course because I believe that graduate studies in criminal law are crucial in helping me attain my dream of setting up an organization whose objective will be to alleviate the factors that lead most people into a life of crime, and in so doing, make a change in society.

Personal Statement Example 3

When I was 14, I happened to take a trip to rural Brazil with a certain environmental conservation group. Two things have remained stuck in my mind from that trip. The first one is the burning of forests in order to clear land for farming. The second one is the preservation of trees alongside major roads in rural Brazil, not because of the ecological value of the trees, but because the trees act as hedges, protecting the ranches and farms alongside the highways from disturbance. These two things acted to me as a real-life representation of the clash between environmental and economic concerns and got me interested in taking action to preserve the environment. My interest in environmental conservation was cemented when I took a geography class and further understood the relationship between economics and the environment. In this course, I saw numerous examples of cases where people favored economic growth over environmental preservation, even though this almost always led to the destruction of huge ecosystems. From this, I felt that it was my obligation to do something, and I vowed that I would spend my life championing for environmental conservation. Driven by this conviction, I pursued a degree in environmental management, which has been crucial in helping me understand the economic and social factors that influence the formation of environmental policy. I also registered a non-profit organization whose objective is to champion for environmental conservation. Since its registration, this organization has been able to raise over $100,000, which we have channeled into an environmental conservation project in Kenya. The project is aimed at bringing local farmers on board in environmental conservation efforts by rewarding them for engaging in various environmentally beneficial activities. My aim is to become an advisor to governments on matters concerning environmental conservation. I believe a graduate education in environmental studies will be critical in helping me achieve this, which is why I am applying for this program. This program will help me to understand the clash between economic growth and environmental conservation even better, which will be helpful in coming up with more sustainable solutions to ensure that the environment and ecological systems are preserved, while at the same time ensuring that people are able to continue deriving an income from natural resources.

WRAPPING UP

The personal statement is an important essay that allows you to give the admissions committee a better picture of who you are as a person and make a case for why you deserve a spot in the program you are applying for.

If you want to write an effective personal statement, make sure your personal statement has a clear narrative, use specific examples and anecdotes to make your statement more powerful, show why you are a good fit for the program, keep your audience in mind, showcase your strong writing skills, and maintain appropriate boundaries when writing.

You can use the three examples provided above as sources of inspiration to help you come up with your own personal statement.

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[2024] 8 MBA Personal Statement Examples from Top Programs

by Talha Omer, M.Eng., Cornell Grad

In mba | personal statement samples by field.

If you are applying to an MBA program, you must be searching for examples of successful MBA personal statements and essays. In this article, I will share some outstanding essay examples of applicants  admitted to some of the best business schoo ls  in the world . 

I recommend you thoroughly look at these samples because you will gain a lot from them.

I will delve further and explain what makes an excellent MBA essay. I will also give you some insights into what makes these sample personal statements so effective. 

What’s more? I will keep adding more real samples to this article so that you can look at the most recent trends in admissions preferences. 

In this Article

Example 1: The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania

Example 2: w. p. carey school of business – arizona state university, example 3: duke’s fuqua school of business, example 4: harvard business school, example 5: schulich school of business, york university, example 6: mccombs school of business – the university of texas at austin, example 7: columbia business school, example 8: rotman school of management, university of toronto, why do mba programs require a personal statement, does every mba program require a personal statement, what if i have something more to share, a true narrative, be different, clear goals, know the boundaries of the topic, first make a brag sheet, key takeaways, personal statement examples.

Instructions: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

It’s often a scary proposition to garner the courage to stand up and ask ‘why’ when you’re not sure whether your voice will give away the inherent nervousness you’re feeling. However, I often found myself doing just that in almost every single class during my time at university. Somewhere along the way, I was the only one volunteering for an additional assignment or opportunity that allowed me to further develop and refine my skillset. Where others said no, it was easy for me to say yes since I knew that knowledge and learning were more important to me than the opinions of others. The criticism and judgement really didn’t matter because I had given myself the permission to fail, and more importantly, to accept failure as a necessary element for me to grow.

Perhaps it all began with a paradigm shift that suggested that rather than lounge around and do the bare minimum during those 4 years at university, I would take conscious responsibility for my development and consider my undergrad as a playground for what I would subsequently offer to the world. I knew I wasn’t going to be the smartest, the best looking, or the most talented person in the world, but I was willing to be the most hard-working. This relentlessness and discipline helped me move from a persistent back-bencher with a 2.3 CGPA to one of the top students in my university, and perhaps it was the same commitment that led me to turn down the opportunity to complete an MBA from the same institution at the time as I knew that I had outgrown the rides that were on offer. There was a bigger contribution that I could make, and I would have to find a bigger playground when the time was right.

Through applying to Wharton, I am building on the commitment I made years earlier. My fascination with Wharton began in 2015 when I first took Professor Fader’s online class called Customer Analytics. Since that first encounter, 10 out of the 30 courses that I’ve completed are affiliated with Wharton in one way or another. From Professor Richard Shell’s insights on success to Professor Karen Reivich’s lectures on resilience, there was always something for me to learn from and grow as an individual. Through becoming a part of Wharton, I want to complement these prior experiences with a more integrated and in-depth curriculum to better understand the intricacies of the business world. 

My application to Wharton is not driven by what propositions await me at the end of two years, but by what I can hope to accomplish during this time that would help make these years last a lifetime. My application is driven by the global impact I can make, and more importantly, the person that I can become in the process. To conclude, I aspire like to leave Wharton not with just a degree, but with the skillset, guidance, and attitude to face whatever life throws at me.

Back to Table of Contents

Instructions for Part 1:  Describe your career path both immediately upon graduation, and five years post MBA.   How will the W. P. Carey MBA help you accomplish these goals? (500 words)

In the short term, post-MBA, I would seek employment at a startup like XX, whereby I would assist the organization in effectively executing its business strategy and, in the process, understand the dynamics of such organizations. Then, five years down the lane, I aim to set up my strategic consulting firm to reform organizations ranging from Non-Governmental Organizations to Manufacturing concerns to Technology companies.

My educational background has equipped me with extensive quantitative knowledge and technical experience around different business themes. I’ve focused most of my studies on business analytics, strategic & financial planning, and organizational controls. This was further honed during my professional career of working in Business Advisory to Leading Sales Operations. While I developed a strong skillset in analytical, financial, negotiation & interpersonal skills, I plan on expanding my problem-solving skills and embedding these skills into business operations. I then plan on extending my expertise across the non-governmental sector and then into different countries. However, first I need to curate my leadership skills and polish my skillset of problem-solving and strategic decision-making through an MBA degree from W.P.Carey.

At W.P. Carey, I want to train myself in case-based approaches and to problem-solve to become adept at breaking down complex problems into smaller workable solutions. Taking courses such as “Decision-making with Data Analytics”, I would be able to hone my analytical skills further and develop the right-thinking process to efficiently and effectively decipher data and glean meaningful information. In addition, I will utilize my honed knowledge to benefit my clients and my business venture through performance management, proposal evaluations, cost-benefit analyses, etc. Further, by taking the “Marketing Management” course, I will equip myself with proper data-based arguments to refute the assertion of marketing not being a valuable activity and delve into the theoretical foundations of fundamental marketing concepts.

Outside the classroom, through W. P. Carey’s “Executive Connections”, I would be able to develop skills to deal with business issues in the real world and assist startups in setting a concrete strategic direction and experience first-hand how successful leaders function. Furthermore, I have worked with many organizations, developed and executed strategic plans, business processes, and policies, and managed on-ground activities. At W.P.Carey, I would like to continue myself at a much larger scale by playing an active role in academic and professional clubs like “BIMA (Business Information Management Association)”, “Consulting Club” and Net Impact. Lastly, I would like to leverage W.P.Carey’s well-knit alumni network and would love to collaborate closely with W.P.Carey’s Career Services to network with its notable alums and learn from their experiences. I also idealize using Career Services’ Resources and coaching further to facilitate my people skills via their Career Leadership courses.

Thus, to sum up, owing to my aspirations and professional expertise in global business, I am confident of making full use of vibrant opportunities at W.P Carey’s MBA degree and converting it into an ideal segue for my future career aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2: Based on your unique personal and professional experiences, what specific contributions do you plan to make both in and outside of the classroom while a member of the Arizona State University’s learning community? (500 words)

Our experiences are what shape us into who we are. Having limited opportunities, I was fortunate enough to obtain an excellent education and work at some of the top organizations in the country. An MBA at Arizona State University would help me grow personally and professionally and allow me to contribute to the growth of my peers through various student clubs and team engagements.

While researching Arizona State University, I realized that one of the program’s pillars is Leadership Development. I consider myself to be a passionate, fierce and innovative leader. In this respect, I can share my experience leading a department (at my current employer, a market-leading frozen food manufacturer) where I developed and executed a complete plan for implementing the sales management system (ERP). The project resulted in an increase in process efficiencies by 30%. Implementing the Freezer Management process with barcode tagging enabled us to recover two hundred and fifty freezers lost over the past two years, saving the company USD 12.5 million in CAPEX.

Having worked with multiple NGOs during my time in Business Advisory at PwC, I noticed that organizations run by individuals with a prime focus on a social cause lack business or strategic direction to be sustainable in the long term. Working closely with these organizations gave me great insight into the workings of an NGO and the mistakes such organizations usually make. Further, I developed the business plan for Pink Ribbon. The organization has raised USD 100 million by implementing a detailed fund-raising plan and is successfully funded through my designed activities. I believe engaging with the “Consulting Club” and the “Volunteer Society” would allow me to learn from their unique experiences. Sharing my findings with the team could benefit their projects and events.

Growing up, Mathematics was one of my favourite subjects and to add to that; I have always had strong quantitative skills. Later in my professional studies, I combined my love for quant with my analytical skills and received an award for being the highest scorer in the ACCA Professional Level Performance Management exam from my batch. After working in Business Analytics, I further honed my analytical skills, and I believe these would be valuable in-class projects and case studies allowing me to decipher situations and problems from a different lens.

Being an international student and living in a culturally-rich country, I would bring a little spice to the life of my fellow students at ASU by introducing them to flavour-rich foods such as “biryani” and “desi nachos” (my take on nachos with a host of local flavours involved). I consider myself a foodie, and it would be a pleasure to share my recipes with the ASU team and experience the distinct cultures of the community.

It would be an honour to be part of the Arizona State University team, and I am eager to contribute to the school’s culture, team spirit and academics.

Instructions:  Based on your understanding of the Fuqua culture, how do you see yourself engaging in and contributing to our community, outside of the classroom? ( Your response to this essay question should be no more than 2 pages in length, with a font size no less than 10-point and 1.5 line spacing. Do not copy the essay question in the document you upload with your application.)

Belonging to a culturally rich country, I feel confident about taking full advantage of the rich opportunities at Fuqua, where I will not only learn but can significantly contribute at a granular level to the Fuqua class. I believe that an MBA experience is not just limited to classroom discussions; it’s more than that; it’s a way of life. In a Team based culture, it is vital to loosen the stiffness to bring more to the table. I am thrilled to be a part of Fuqua, which provides a diverse platform for expressing my personality and learning from my peers.

During my interaction with one of the current students at Fuqua, John Ive, I realized there are many forays where I can actively contribute and add value. Passion, Initiative and Innovative are my leadership attributes, and I consider myself an avant-garde who loves to experiment. Therefore, I am excited about clubs such as the Entrepreneurship and Venture Capital Club. In these clubs, I can share my experience of taking a bold step that revolutionized South Africa’s aluminium industry. I took the risk of introducing coloring machines, and in doing so, I challenged my CEO’s views of going by the book. The results were fruitful; we broke the monopoly of a local competitor and achieved a staggering growth of 7% per annum. 

I am not just a passionate leader but an avid food lover. I can add a unique flavour to Team Fuqua spirit by introducing cuisines I bet you have never tried. I can spice up the Fuqua food forum and culinary club by introducing dishes such as “XYZ” and “ABC”, which take their name from sounds created while cooking them!! Have you ever known such a dish? I do, and I would love to share my recipe book notes with other members of Team Fuqua.

I strongly believe in the notion that sharing is caring and giving back to society. I strongly resonate with leadership attributes of empathy. I introduced a university-level flood drive and laid the foundations of relief funds and organization during my undergraduate. Working in flood-stricken areas was an eye-opener, and I cannot forget the smile on the face of a cripple child who was rescued by our Team. But I committed to creating a much more profound impact. At Duke, I want to be a part of Durham Habitat for Humanity and would love to share my experiences. By building positive synergies with my other fellows at Team Fuqua, I want to create a legacy of designing effective service delivery systems to improve the lives of homeless and underprivileged members of our community. 

To do this, I want to learn from expert consultants, and I look forward to joining Consulting Club. I am interested in starting social entrepreneurship, and currently, my ideas are raw. Instead of this, I am optimistic that through being a part of Consulting Club, I can learn from expert consultants and bring my unique facets of life experiences to the table. I have diverse experience organizing national-level Science Olympiads, but I want to do more. I want to organize events like consulting symposiums and not only challenge my event management expertise; I would love to engage another enthusiast from Team Fuqua.  

Fuqua Class is incredible; where else would you find a professional figure skater, a Guinness World record participant, a patent owner and a TV reporter all in the same class? In such a diverse class, I am keen on contributing to the vibrant team spirit of Fuqua’s creative, intellectual, and fervent community of learners and doers.

Instructions:  As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Belonging to a family that has been running a successful business for the past 4 decades, the main issue has always been the investment of money. The last breakthrough, made by my uncle, whose decision to go for a product that was high in demand and generated good profit, jumped the entire family up one financial class. But, after eight years and counting, there has been no successful new venture that we have tried to explore. The current situation is that despite generating millions each month, there has been no groundbreaking rotation of money, except the occasional investment in real estate.

It became clear to me that things needed to change when the decision for expansion was made two years after the need for it arose, despite having the funds to do so earlier.

After completing my undergrad studies, I worked for a few months at ‘ABC’, only to move back to ‘XYZ’ to learn the family business systems. I accompanied my father for six months and found a system running perfectly except for the occasional bumps. I also realized that despite generating a lot of money, there was no new venture. There is a lazy trend in ‘XYZ’, where if you can’t invest your money anywhere else, you invest it in real estate. This financial parking has been working out for us for quite some time, but it has become a rather dull activity, and my father has shared his discontent with me for not using our resources on a new project. It is simply unacceptable to keep money in the banks, and other alternatives proved not as rewarding.

As an initiative, I started a small ‘ABC’ business in 2015. My main goal was to create another route for cash flow and possible something new where money could be invested. For starters, I imported a Toyota LC SUV model 2012 for my uncle, who wanted to import a car of his choice rather than buy one from the market. After selecting a vehicle and getting it to ‘ABC’ for over three months, I figured the process was pretty simple and decided to try importing cars as a regular business. My first shipment included 2 Toyota LC Parados, both in excellent condition. While I received a lot of praise from interested buyers, there was no actual customer for them because they claimed my price was too high. Upon checking the quality of imported cars in the local market, I realized that all commercial importers were buying damaged vehicles from Japan. After clearing customs for these cars, the first thing was a complete body repair job. Eventually, I managed to sell both vehicles at breakeven after having held them for three months, but that was a failure for me in finding a new venture. So I came back to my repetitive routine of observing smooth-running systems.

I tried again to revive our age-old glass imports business, but due to the strength of the local industries, it turned out to be a dead end as well. With the local industry making mirror, clear and coloured glass, there was room for figure and wire glass import into the local market. As we were about to order a large shipment of figure glass, a local factory, which had been shut down for years, announced its relaunch in February 2015. Unfortunately, the customs taxes on glass products are manipulated by the local industry in such a way that it becomes non-feasible to import glass in the presence of a working factory. So again, I was back to square one.

In June 2015, I decided to go for a global trade tour and look for a new investment opportunity. A global trade conference was taking place in Istanbul, which US-Turk Businessmen Association hosted. It lasted seven days and covered meetings with multiple businesspeople from Istanbul, Corlu and Denizli. I intended to find a company that made ‘XYZ’, but I gained other exciting information. Upon visiting Corlu, an industrial city in Turkey, I met with Mr Engin, a representative of Krauss Maffei, a german machine-making company that made extruders for plastics. Upon his suggestion, I took an interest in uPVC profiles that were the standard for construction in Turkey. He provided me data from Ozturk Holding’s recent projects, which provided evidence that aluminium as a product for window solutions was obsolete in Europe and was making its way to the US. He also told me about some businessmen from US importing uPVC from Turkey. This interested me because uPVC, if introduced to US, would prove to be a direct competitor to our aluminium profiles. So I inquired about basic information for a production plant from Mr Engin, including a layout, a list of required machinery, and a quote of three million euros. All that was left now was to determine whether it would be a successful product for our market or another dead end for my ambition. Upon my return, I prepared a presentation and presented the information I had to the board of directors, which included my father and two uncles. To my disappointment, my idea was rejected because a significant investment was required for the project, while the market demand was minimal in comparison. So it was determined that the industry, if set up, would not be able to generate enough funds to even run at breakeven. So my idea was sidelined for the time being. But it wasn’t a complete failure. My research regarding the plastic industry gave me a basic idea of the process involved, which allowed for procuring our in-house packaging machine, which we purchased from Ruihong-China.

I am an engineer, and while I understand the technical specifications of machines to some extent, the business development processes are still new to me. There are certainly a lot of ideas in my mind, but I cannot filter out the feasible ones. First, I wish to learn how to turn ideas into business plans. Evaluating these plans and proceeding further after a plan has been selected. Second, I want to know the blind spots involved in starting a business and which investment opportunities to avail and on which to pass. Third, I wish to learn how to make value-additions to existing products. Finally, I want to learn about the diversification process and determine the situation where expansion becomes necessary. For that, I have chosen Harvard’s MBA program, which is the best one in the world. Courses such as Business Analysis and Valuation Using Financial Statements, Corporate Strategy and Investment Strategies and Management will be instrumental in realizing my goals.

Instructions:  How will the Schulich MBA degree help you achieve your short and long-term career goals? (Please limit your answer to 350 words).

I aspire to make my mark in management consulting with a focus on small and medium enterprises in Canada and possibly beyond. Small and medium enterprises account for 54.2% of the Canadian economy’s economic output. I aim to contribute to this sector with skills I learn and refine with the Schulich MBA.

York University is the ideal institution to support my academic pursuits since Schulich’s teaching method, especially the Strategy Field Study, dovetails perfectly with my consulting career aspirations. I can engage in real-world problem-solving while at school by actively pursuing programs such as the two-term strategic consulting project. This academic opportunity will guide me better in accomplishing my long-term goal of becoming an expert in the field of management consulting. I can fine-tune my strategic assessment skills while evaluating an organization and recommending improvement. In addition, I can develop a problem-solving skill-set through intensive case competitions, which will help me understand issues at a fundamental level from various perspectives.

My employment at the second largest Canadian bank for the past three years has taught me that intelligent business solutions are rooted in sound financial techniques. I intend to enhance my understanding of finance by supplementing classroom learning with active participation in the Trading Club on campus. Such activities will also help me remain updated on micro and macroeconomic conditions, a sound knowledge required in every management position post-MBA.

I strongly believe in learning from my peers and seniors as there is so much more knowledge than what can be imparted from just curriculum and coursework. Therefore, I intend to make the most of the networking opportunities available through Schulich’s tightly knit alum base. Moreover, Schulich’s strong linkages in alums and recruiters in the industry where I want to make my career will provide me with the best opportunity to accomplish my short- and long-term career goals.  

Instructions for Part 1:  Based on your post-MBA goals and what drives you in your personal and professional life, why is the Texas MBA the ideal program for you and how do you plan to engage in our community? (500 words)

I am an avid gamer. Be it the latest gadgets or new versions of gaming consoles; you need to remain updated to stay ahead of the pack. I have developed a sense of constant improvement using the latest technology through gaming. In my current job, I brought my tech-savvy attributes. As a result, I broke the monopoly of local firms and introduced competition in the fertilizer market, achieving a staggering 29% per annum growth. I love bringing new ideas to the table that can revolutionize the industry’s supply chain and operations. I am a dedicated innovator, and after doing my MBA, I would seize the opportunity to work as a strategic consultant experiencing a diverse array of business challenges and solving the pressing issues of the industries. In the long run, I would love to set up my business which extensively uses technology for its operations.

For an MBA program, I am looking for a degree where I have exposure to major technology firms and where I can have a platform for testing my business acumen. I am particularly impressed by McComb’s dynamic case-based pedagogy and cutting-edge research opportunities. However, I am much more excited about hands-on experience outside the classroom. McComb’s MBA+ program is an ideal opportunity where I can learn and hone my leadership skills. I am thrilled by its micro consulting projects, where I dream of working with some of my dream companies, such as 3M, Cisco and BCG. Using MBA+ program experience, I am confident in improving my managerial skills, which can help me achieve my short-term goals.

Additionally, I would love to become an operations fellow and bring my experience working and revolutionizing fertilizer industry operations in China. As mentioned above, I want to start my own business in the long term, and Venture Labs is an ideal platform where I can learn and test my entrepreneurial skills. I can utilize Venture Labs’ resources and support to run pilot projects and chalk out a plan for my long-term career.

Besides this, I can bring my unique style and personality and contribute positively to different student organizations. I am very fond of Chinese cuisine and would love to cook traditional dishes for Graduate Epicurean Club. For the past two years, I have a hands-on experience working within a factory, and I look forward to sharing my skills with the Graduate Operations Group. On top of it, I want to start Chinese Graduate Business Association (CGBA). I strongly feel that China is highly underrepresented in business schools in the US. Using CGBA’s platform, I want to introduce Chinese business and industry to the international business community.

Therefore, I firmly believe that Texas MBA is ideally aligned with my personal and professional aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2:  The University of Texas at Austin values unique perspectives and cultivates a collaborative environment of distinct individual contributions. It is the first day of orientation. You are meeting your study group, comprised of five of your classmates from various backgrounds. Please introduce yourself to your new team, highlighting what drives you in your personal and professional life. (250 words)

I am an avant garde. I like to innovate and constantly search for new ideas which can satiate my desire of standing out in the crowd. I lead the team which revolutionized fertilizer industry of China. I am a participative leader. I like to create an environment where top management and subordinates learn from each other to create positive synergies. I stand up to my values of integrity. I started importing PlayStation consoles but soon I found substandard business practices and left the business. I remained jobless for two months, but I never gave up my values. I learn from my mistakes. From my PlayStation consoles import business loss, I learnt the hard lesson of not going by the face value of the business but research it thoroughly.

I have deep compassion for the underprivileged members of my society. I consider it as my moral duty to help the marginalized members of our community. During my free time, I teach and inculcate the importance of learning and education amongst underprivileged. I am an avid gaming fan. I have won and organized national level gaming tournaments throughout my undergraduate.

I am a challenge seeker and have a drive for excellence. By seeking an MBA degree, I want to challenge my own self. I want to start my career in strategic consulting post MBA. I am a dreamer and in the long run, I want to start my own world class strategic consulting firm.

Instructions for Part 1:  Columbia Business School’s students participate in industry focused New York immersion seminars; in project based Master Classes; and in school year internships. Most importantly, our students are taught by a combination of distinguished research faculty and accomplished practitioners. How will you take advantage of being “at the very center of business”? (100-500 words)

I intend to utilize the next five years to expand my horizons and fill a position that allows me to formulate and execute crucial strategic decisions for my company in Brazil. For this purpose, immersion seminars taking place at Columbia carry great importance. Decision and Operation, Management, and Competitive Strategy seminars are just a few that I already have my eyes on.

Being part of these immersion seminars offers a vital experience and an excellent opportunity to interact with industry practitioners and veterans. “It’s combining the best of academia and the business world in a place – New York City – where you can’t beat the opportunity to have students experience the real business world and meet C-suite leaders week after week,” reads a personal favorite quote of mine from Barry Salzberg regarding the Immersion Seminars. From a project management background, most of my initial learning was through my family elders. Accompanying them to work and observing their business ways proved an immense boost, showing me how direct interaction with practitioners can help to learn.

Working with core names in the management consulting sector, financial services and data analysis firms will only help my professional growth. Ehud Houminer is one name that needs to be mentioned; his experience in domestic and international business strategy and manufacturing industries aligns perfectly with what I seek.

I’m particularly interested in the consulting industry of the big apple. Working with firms like McKinsey, Brain, and BCG – involved directly with clients from day one – is a treasure trove of experience for me to discover. Additionally, BCG has a dedicated recruitment drive for Columbia’s students, which betters my odds of landing an internship (and possible a post-MBA job) at the consultancy giant.

Alternatively, Google offers a variety of managerial internships every year in the bustling city of New York. The Internet-related services giant has multiple departments for ambitious individuals, such as myself, to apply. These range from product Management and Finance to Business Strategy and Operations. The golden opportunity to get involved with Google in identifying acquisitions and investments, monetizing strategies for products, or developing partners in emerging markets would clarify the process of venture selection and risk assessment.

There’s tremendous exposure to be had while living in the bustling city of New York. An MBA from Columbia Business School will undoubtedly significantly and positively impact my growth. It’s the tipping point from where I’ll begin a new journey as a leader for change in the future, not for my business ventures but the employment industry of Brazil as a whole.

Instructions for Part 2:  CBS Matters, a key element of the School’s culture, allows the people in your Cluster to learn more about you on a personal level. What will your Clustermates be pleasantly surprised to learn about you? (100-250 words)

It wasn’t until I graduated from one of Brazil’s top-ranking universities that I realized how severely my nation suffers in providing opportunities for fresh graduates. It’s an unfavorable scenario to sustain bright minds. Smacked between the inability to choose between jobs and underwhelming compensation only push ambitious souls to travel abroad to taste luxury and success. 

As I like to term it, this brain drain from Brazil needs to be addressed. Instead of pointing fingers at an incompetent government and festering corruption, those with the means must take it upon themselves to convince our finest minds to stay and contribute toward a better future for us all.

It warms my heart to see various corporations directly involved in trying to improve on this significant social aspect. I intend to join their ranks one day and support my country in one way or another. I believe that the fastest way to address unemployment is through the industry. I plan to incorporate educational tools in my workplace to change people’s thinking patterns and accentuate their reasoning abilities. It may take half a century, but I am hopeful that if realized, my plan would make Brazil one of the world’s most competitive economies.

Instructions:  Please describe why you are pursuing an MBA? Why Rotman? Why now? (500 Words)

My academic background, industry experience and strong interest in new business developments equip me with excellent credentials to shine in the Desautels MBA program.

I graduated from the University of Toronto with an interdisciplinary degree. The broad spectrum of topics covered during my undergraduate program gave me a much more comprehensive understanding of how companies conduct their day-to-day operations and interact with society.

I have worked at multiple companies with a national presence in Canada, as my resume depicts. I have led numerous teams, negotiated with national brand business leaders, and always managed to deliver the highest quality service to our customers and business partners. During this journey, I have refined my interpersonal skills. I believe that without good communication skills, a person limits their potential to achieve the desired goals in professional life. In addition, I am a keen reader and am always working to improve myself further and adapt to a constantly changing globalized work environment.

In my previous endeavours, I have implemented strategies that have streamlined and modernized different processes, such as the customer service department and vendor management systems. During this time, my interest in corporate development increased significantly, and I decided to work in the sector in the future. Since then, I have tried to break into the corporate department of Big financial firms but have been unable to do so due to a lack of skill set and not having an MBA degree which is a requirement.

After my MBA, I intend to leverage my newly learned skills to change career paths and enter the financial services industry. I plan to join the corporate department of a top-tier bank where I can grow professionally while at the same time contributing positively to the growth of the organization.

My long-term career goal is to achieve a Director Level position in a major bank such as TD Canada Trust, Scotiabank or BMO. After acquiring the necessary tools and experience required to manage a large-scale global business, I plan to achieve that position by completing my MBA, starting in a product management position and working my way up.

An MBA from Rotman is a perfect fit for the roadmap I have set for myself to achieve my future career goals. It will complement my past work experience and fill the knowledge gaps I find lacking in my understanding of the business world. In addition, as a two-year program, it will provide me with the opportunity to undertake an internship in the financial sector, essentially retooling me to succeed in that sector.

Merely graduating from a good business school like Rotman does not guarantee success in today’s competitive work environment. The people at Rotman understand that, and that’s why they provide their students opportunities in co-curricular activities, such as the option to join different clubs and research centres. During my time at Rotman, I intend to join the Rotman Finance Association to develop new skills in the field and enhance my network of industry contacts. I would also look forward to taking part in case of competitions to hone my leadership skills. In addition, it would be an incredible opportunity to use the BMO Finance Research and Trading Lab to deepen my understanding of the financial markets by learning to use analytical tools.

Rotman admits that only the top talent from all over the world from an incredibly diverse range of academic and professional backgrounds will provide me with a truly global experience, hence preparing me for success in any environment. Lastly, its strong and diverse alumni network is what I am excited to be a part of.

Every MBA program requires applicants to write a personal statement, also known as a statement of purpose.

The school provides instructions on what to include in your piece, and most business schools have something unique to ask for. 

The MBA personal statement allows you to tell the admissions committee (adcom) about yourself.  

It also gives you a chance to tell the business school about your personality, liking, ambitions, and whether your goals and vision align with the program. The essay helps the panel learn about you as a person.

These essays are essential to your application, allowing you to market yourself and prove your mettle to the admissions panel.  It is not just a mere listing of your experiences or your resume  but a more coherent way of telling them who you are and why you will be a worthy addition to their program. 

It allows the program to understand what you value the most. Of course, a stellar personal statement will not guarantee admission, but it is crucial to your application. 

Yes, every MBA program requires a personal statement. 

However, most MBA programs will instruct what and what not to include in your essay. Therefore, you need to make sure that you follow  the instructions  provided to you. 

Sometimes these essays have word limits; for example, some business schools require a personal statement of no more than 500 words, whereas some have no word limit. So, before writing yours, ensure you have read and understood the instructions clearly.

Business schools are very welcoming when it comes to guiding applicants. So, if you have any specific concerns regarding the essays or feel confused about anything, it is always a good idea to  contact the schools admissions office . Remember that you will be investing time and money in applying to these B-schools, so seek clarification when necessary.

Sometimes you may want to talk about certain things that you cannot fit coherently into your statement. In that case, nearly all MBA programs allow you to write such information in an  ‘Optional Essay’  or  ‘Additional Information  section of the application. 

You can write about extenuating circumstances such as  Low GPA , mediocre   GRE/GMAT scores , or highlight any other significant achievements that you could not include in your essays or elsewhere in your application. Don’t try to squeeze everything into your statement of purpose – instead, use the additional essay to talk about the other things.

What Makes a Good MBA Personal Statement?

A perfect MBA essay shares some common elements.

All good MBA essays accurately depict who you are – not what you think the admissions committee will like.  So be genuine and communicate that clearly to the reader.  

Admissions panellists read hundreds of applications every year, and they can tell when you are lying. Talk about things that concern you – setbacks, weaknesses, health issues, depression, etc. 

Avoid making excuses and face your demons. For example, if spirituality, the purpose of life, etc., have recently played a lot on your mind and have shaped your personality lately, then talk about it with enthusiasm. 

If you are looking forward to an MBA because of some discomfiting experiences in your current field and, as a result, you want to switch, be straight about it. 

However,  don’t talk about ambitions not supported by your background . For example, if someone tells you that MBA programs admire applicants with a lot of volunteer work,but you don’t have any, so better not make it up.

Every applicant has a different story from the rest. 

Tell that. 

You will often stumble upon some successful applicants’ essays, and you will be inspired by them so much that you would want to imitate the story. 

That’s a bad idea. Do some introspection and reflect on that in your essay. 

For example, tech MBA programs like Stanford and GA tech get many similar technology-based startup failure stories from applicants with no background in startups. The internet is full of such stories, and you will likely encounter one. Don’t let such cliched stories influence your thoughts.

Schools want  diversity . 

If your research tells you that a specific MBA program is big on admitting applicants from a management consulting background and your goal is e-commerce, don’t hesitate to discuss it. Likely, such a business school don’t hear many e-commerce stories, so if you write one, it will catch their attention.

Your goals matter a lot. The more specific they are, the better it is. 

While telling about your career goals, don’t deploy generalized statements such as “I want to join consulting.” 

Instead, say, “ I want to be a part of management consulting such as McKinsey or AT Kearney focusing on the public sector in Malaysia. ” 

The first will make your goals unclear; the second statement will somewhat narrow down your goals. 

Show the reader that you are aware of the industry you want to be in and make your application a lot more credible.

Every business school is different from another. 

Do a lot of research about the program you are applying to. 

Don’t just go through the MBA school’s website. Get in touch with the alumni or on Linkedin. Talk to them. 

If you know someone in your network which has been a part of this school, talk to them. Try to get the inside details and specificities from them. They will tell you things you won’t find on the school’s website. 

Join   social media groups, follow Reddit, and try to find out what other applicants won’t know as much as possible.  

Then put this in your application – use this inside information to show why you are a good fit. 

Show the admissions committee that you have gone the extra mile to know everything possible about the program.

Many MBA schools conduct  live online Q&A sessions  and informative  webinars  these days. Be an active part of those and ask questions there. Then, put the answers in your application. 

This will show your passion for joining them and help you tell them that you align well with your vision. 

For example, everyone knows about the Harvard case study methods – it’s all over their website. However, at Harvard, very few know about experiential learning (solving real-world problems).

Since most business schools share personal statement instructions, it is important not to stray from them. Moreover , the essays have word limits  – so be wise with your writing. 

Keep the essays professional, and don’t be too humorous. You don’t need to be bland, but remember that the MBA is a serious degree, and the admissions committee expects  maturity  and professionalism from the applicants. So be  professional  but at the same time, be  conversational .

Most people don’t know about a brag sheet and its importance.

Writing a personal statement for the MBA program is time-consuming and requires 80-100 hours.

Moreover, you must write and rewrite 10-15 drafts before seeing a satisfactory final version.

But before you start writing a personal statement, you must do some introspection – soul-searching. First, you need to recall and list all your major or minor achievements over the years. Then, take a deep dive into your professional and academic history.

You can use a brag sheet to identify and list everything you can bring to an MBA program.

A brag sheet is a sketch of your essay. Then, expand on your brag sheet to make a final version of your personal statement.

Don’t be shy to brag about yourself. Just don’t sound patronizing – firmly show off your differentiating achievements.

Here is a template that you can use to make a brag sheet and then use it to start building your statement.

PROFESSIONAL & ACADEMIC

• Describe an interesting work project.
• Have you ever been promoted at work? If so, elaborate on it.
• List all awards or honours you have received in college, at work, or otherwise.
• Have you done any public speaking ever?
• What are your computer skills?
• Have you ever started up a business – large or tiny?
• What are your short-term career goals (directly after graduating from business school)?
• Where do you see yourself in 10-20 years?
• Why do you want to earn an MBA?

EXTRA-CURRICULAR

• List  all  languages you know and note the degree of proficiency.
• Where have you travelled and lived? List continents, countries, and exciting cities.
• List all the places where you have worked voluntarily.
• List all of your interests and hobbies.
• List all extra-curricular involvement (major and minor) during college.
• Have you ever managed anyone at the office or in an extra-curricular setting?
• Have you published anything? 
• Do you have any patents?
• Do you participate in any sports? Have you run a marathon? Are you part of a basketball league?
• Describe a time you failed.
• What are your three most significant weaknesses?
• Describe all the defining moments in your personal life and at work. You can write about any experiences, books, meetings etc. that have changed the way you think or your path. 
• Discuss any hardships, personal or professional.
• Are you married? Do you have children?
• What are your favourite books?                                        
• What soft skills make you unique?
• What does your immediate family do, and where are they from? What is your cultural heritage? Does your family have any unique traditions?

In general, business schools are looking for creative intelligence, leadership, teamwork skills, vision/innovation, and a demonstrated record of success in their candidates. So, make sure to add anything related to these traits in your brag sheet. 

Your MBA Essay must be:

• A genuine narrative and your true reflection.
• A unique and different story.
• Try not to copy or be influenced by stories from other successful MBA essays.
• Stay within the boundaries of the essay topic and do not stray from that.
• Use compelling and robust language.
• Review several drafts before submitting the best one.

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Personal Statement Guide

Personal Statement Examples

Last updated on: Feb 9, 2023

15+ Good Personal Statement Examples for Students

By: John K.

Reviewed By: Rylee W.

Published on: Jul 14, 2020

Writing a  personal statement  for college or university admission is not a simple task. Many students procrastinate their admission applications just to avoid writing admission essays.

However, this task is something you can never avoid. It is an essential part of the admission application. It should reveal your real personality and present everything that can’t be found in other parts of your application.

You might have written several college essays, but this assignment is an entirely different thing. It gives the reader a glimpse into your life and shows them your potential to be a successful candidate. Therefore, you need to pay your full attention and give your 100% to write a unique personal essay.

In this blog, you will get some amazing personal statement examples. We have carefully collected all of these examples just to help you understand the genre.

On this Page

How to Write a Personal Statement - Example

Before you begin writing your admission essay, the first thing you need is to learn how to write it effectively. It is not a simple task if you are not aware of the writing process. Therefore, it is important to know the basic steps and then write your essay.

HOW TO WRITE A PERSONAL STATEMENT - EXAMPLE

Personal Statement Examples for College Students

When you apply to a college, you need to be sure if you’ve something extraordinary to offer. Every high school student follows the same ritual of doing part-time jobs, some community services, etc. All students end up writing similar essays showing the same test scores and activities.

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES FOR COLLEGE

SAMPLE PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR COLLEGE

Personal Statement Examples for University Students

Applying to a university and having anxiety because you need to write an essay for an admission application?

Even after graduating from college, most students cannot write a good admission essay. Either they do not have essential writing skills or do not have something interesting to tell. Whatever the reason is, they cannot come up with an interesting idea that lets them win university admission.

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES FOR UNIVERSITY

SAMPLE PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR UNIVERSITY

Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

Choosing the right  personal statement prompt  is the most important part of the whole writing process. The common app provides many prompts that you can choose for writing your essay. These prompts will give you an idea of what topics work best.

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL

SAMPLE PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL

Personal Statement Examples for Business

Writing an admission essay for a specific subject group can create problems. But if you are passionate about your field, then this daunting task will become a piece of cake for you.

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

MBA PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE

Personal Statement Examples for CV

It is very difficult to get a job in the beginning of your career because you do not have any experience. Employers are looking for sufficiently experienced candidates who could handle their job with perfection. Surely, they believe a fresh graduate cannot do that.

Here, your statement can greatly impact your reader’s mind if it has something compelling to offer. It can convince the employer that you have the potential to fulfill their requirement.

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR CV WITH NO EXPERIENCE

NO WORK EXPERIENCE PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE FOR CV

Personal Statement Examples for Scholarship

A personal statement for a scholarship is slightly different from a college application essay. Here you have to show why you need the financial help and why you are the most deserving candidate. You need to convince your reader that you are the most suitable candidate for the scholarship.

HOW TO WRITE A PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR SCHOLARSHIP - EXAMPLE

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES FOR SCHOLARSHIP

400 Words Personal Statement Examples

The word limit is one of the instructions that are defined by the college committee. Students are supposed to follow all the instructions and meet the deadline. The most important instruction that students need to fulfill is to write their essay within a given word limit.

The word limit might bound you to write your essay within 400 to 650 words. Or it might exceed up to 1000 words. However, the purpose is to check whether you can share your story within the word limit or not.

400 WORDS PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES

Law School Personal Statement Examples

Applying to a law school and need to write a personal statement?

LAW SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE

LAW AND CRIMINOLOGY PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE

Medical School Personal Statement Examples

If you are not sure about what goes into a medical-related admission essay, get help from these examples.

MEDICAL SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENT FORMAT

MEDICAL SCHOOL PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE

PHARMACY PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE

Personal Statement Writing Tips

Students usually struggle with writing college application essays because they are unaware of the basics. They do not have good writing skills and understanding of what is required for writing a good essay. Here are the tips provided by  essay experts  to guide you to write an impressive personal statement.

• Choose an interesting prompt that you can easily relate to. An essay prompt is the most crucial part, which can either make or break the impression of your essay. Therefore, go with something that interests you the most, and you have something relevant to share in response to the prompt.
• It is your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process. So make sure you make the most of it.
• It gives you the freedom to write anything about yourself, so you can share whatever is important to share. You can discuss all the things that are missing in other parts of the application.
• When you start writing, grab the reader’s attention in the beginning and hook them with your essay. Open paragraphs with a scene or arouse the reader’s curiosity or intrigue them with an interesting story.
• Show your reader that you have problem-solving capabilities. It will help you impress your reader and increase your chances of getting admission.
• Share something distinctive, impressive, unique, and special about you and your life.
• Start writing a rough draft without a word counter and write everything that you want to share. Don’t worry; this is just a rough draft; you can make it perfect later.
• Take your time, stick to the plan, and concentrate on your thoughts. Find perfect words, phrases, sentences, and expressions to share your thoughts.
• You can use quotes, relevant examples, and facts from literature to make an impact. But it is better to make it your own voice, ideas, and work.
• Do not lie in your essay. Be honest and tell your true story. The admission officers have read hundreds and thousands of essays so far. They can easily recognize who is lying and who is telling the truth.
• Let someone proofread your essay. It will help you check the flow and catch mistakes.

We hope that these tips and examples will help you write your personal statement. However, if you feel the need to get help from a professional writer, we are here for you.

5StarEssays.com is a legitimate write my essay for me  service that offers help with academic writing. You can come to us to write any type of academic essay or paper. Our writers will thoroughly read the assignment instructions and carefully incorporate them into your essay.

We are available round the clock so that you can place your order at any time of the day. Once you place your order and proceed to the payment, we’ll start working on your project immediately.

So what are you waiting for?

Head to our website and place your  order  now.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you write a powerful personal statement.

The only way to make your personal statement is to write in your own and distinct voice.

Do you write your name in a personal statement?

In case there are no instructions against it, you should add your full name along with the name of the document and the university and college you are writing the statement for.

What is the minimum amount of words for a personal statement?

The word count is usually between 150 and 250.

Can you lie in a personal statement?

No, you MUST not lie in your personal statement ever. The admission officers can sense the lie and it will not go in your favor.

Analytics, PhD Essay

John K. is a professional writer and author with many publications to his name. He has a Ph.D. in the field of management sciences, making him an expert on the subject matter. John is highly sought after for his insights and knowledge, and he regularly delivers keynote speeches and conducts workshops on various topics related to writing and publishing. He is also a regular contributor to various online publications.

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• Personal Statement Writing - A Complete Guide With Examples

• Personal Statement Format - Detailed Guide & Expert Examples

• Common Personal Statement Prompts for Students

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Nail your uni application with our personal statement examples!

Discover personal statements by subject, from A to Z. Find inspiration for your own application with these successful personal statement examples from real students.

A-Z of Personal Statements

Learn from previous student personal statements here. We have collated over 700 personal statement examples to help you on your university journey and to help you with how to write a personal statement.

These personal statement examples will show you the kind of thing that universities are looking for from their applicants. See how to structure your personal statement, what kind of format your personal statement should be in, what to write in a personal statement and the key areas to touch on in your statement.

A personal statement is a chance to tell your university all about you - a good personal statement is one that showcases your passion for the subject, what inspired you to apply for the course you’re applying for and why you think you would be an asset to the university.

Our collection includes personal statement examples in Mathematics, Anthropology, Accounting, Computer Science, Zoology and more.

Writing a personal statement has never been easier with our vast collection of personal statement examples.

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Personal Statement Help

What is a personal statement.

A personal statement is an essay written by a student applying to either a college or university. A personal statement is written and then uploaded to UCAS and is then attached to any university applications that the student may then make.

If you need more information check out our personal statement advice articles .

How to write a personal statement

There isn't a clearly defined personal statement template for you to use as each person's statement is different.

When it comes to writing a personal statement for universities, your personal statement should touch on your passions, your interest in the course, why you're applying for the course and why you would be an asset to the university you're applying to.

Talk about the clubs and societies that you belong to, any work experience you may have and any awards you might have won.

If you're still looking for information check out our article on how to write a personal statement .

How to start a personal statement

When it comes to starting your personal statement, the best thing to do is to be succinct and to have enough tantalising information to keep the reader informed and eager for more.

Your introduction should touch on your personal qualities and why you are applying for the subject you're applying for. Keeping things short and sweet means that it also allows you to break your personal statement up, which makes it easier for the reader.

We have plenty of advice for students that are wondering about what to include in a personal statement .

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.

Now, before we get into our examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention

For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.

As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )

Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #10: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

Liked that? Try this next.

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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

• Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
• Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
• Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

• Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
• Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
• Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

• Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
• Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
• Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

• Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
• Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
• Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

• Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
• Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
• Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

• Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
• Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
• Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

• Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
• Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
• Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

• Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
• Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
• Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

• 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
• How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
• A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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Resume personal statement examples

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your resume.

Your resume personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your resume – and it’s aim is to summarize the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your resume in full.

In this guide I have included 17 resume personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

Resume templates 

17 resume personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our resume summary examples instead.

College graduate resume personal statement (no experience)

Although this college graduate has no paid work experience , they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

College graduate resume personal statement (part time freelance experience)

This candidate has graduated college with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

High school leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and high school work-placements, to strengthen this student resume further.

Top tips for writing a resume personal statement

• Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
• Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
• Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
• If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

High school leaver resume personal statement (part time experience)

Although this person has only just left high school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call center alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their future studies, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their honor results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this summary can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student resume personal statement (freelance experience)

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic resume personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their resume’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within colleges.

High school leaver resume personal statement with sports experience

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organization.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies at college and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate resume personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organizational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate resume personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their college work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their resume personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student resume personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student resume personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student resume personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal summary.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship resume personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal summary by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

College graduate career changer personal statement

Switching careers as a college graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarizing some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their college placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your resume contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this resume is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your resume

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own resume – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a resume personal statement?

Resume personal statement or resume summary, personal statement format, what to include in a resume personal statement.

• Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your resume which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your resume is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a resume summary?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your resume… but there are 2 main differences:

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (college graduates, high school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A resume summary tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my resume writing guide , or example resume summaries page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your resume, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimizing the space taken up by your contact details.

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your resume is opened.

We have a resume template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text color simple, ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews, I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional resume templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your resume is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites, look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree or your GED. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

• High school/college work placements
• Voluntary work
• Personal projects
• Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your resume , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g.  A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

• Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
• Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
• Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

Resume personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our college graduate resume example , our best resume templates , or our library of example resumes from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!