presentation on building self confidence

Building Strong Self-Belief: 16 Tips & Activities

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

This classic quote from automobile magnate Henry Ford is a perfect lead into this piece. The topic is self-confidence and self-belief, two ingredients to a healthy and happy life.

According to Ford, your belief in yourself is a determining factor in your success.

Was he right? Read on to find out!

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will not only help you increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students or employees show more compassion to themselves.

This Article Contains:

What is the meaning of self-confidence and self-belief, the psychology of self-confidence and self-belief, 3 examples of healthy self-belief, 12 tips for building self-confident skills, activities and exercises for developing self-confidence, hypnosis and hypnotherapy, guided meditations to boost self-confidence, motivational speeches and popular ted talks and videos, 19 quotes and affirmations on self-confidence, a take-home message.

Researchers have a tough time agreeing on what, exactly, self-confidence is. Some say it is simply believing in yourself, while others go into more detail about your expectations for and evaluations of yourself and your performance.

For non-academic purposes, however, we have a pretty solid definition; this definition comes from the Psychology Dictionary Online :

“Our self-assurance in trusting our abilities, capacities, and judgments; the belief that we can meet the demands of a task.”

This definition works pretty well for the average person and is easy to understand. To be self-confident is to trust in your own abilities and believe that you can do what you set your mind to.

As you can see from the definition, self-belief is a necessary—but not sufficient—component of self-confidence. You must have at least some self-belief to have self-confidence, but self-belief does not guarantee you self-confidence.

Along with characterizing your beliefs about yourself, self-confidence is a trait that permeates your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Think about a confident person you know; now, think about how you know this person is confident. You cannot get inside their head to know how they feel about themselves, so you base your judgment of their self-confidence on their words and actions.

To be truly self-confident is to exude confidence in your words and actions, in addition to believing in yourself and feeling capable.

Thanks to William James, we learned that self-confidence is an important predictor of success. His formula for self-esteem (a related, but slightly different, construct than self-confidence) proposes that it is built on the foundations of two elements (Nayler, 2010):

• How we feel and what we believe about ourselves (our self-confidence/self-belief)
• How well we actually perform (our successes)

This concept was not a new one, but James was one of the first to lay it out in detail. The idea stuck and influenced the work of another important theory in the area of self-confidence and self-esteem : Bandura’s Self-Efficacy Theory.

Bandura’s theory states that self-efficacy is built on one’s beliefs in the likelihood of future success; those who believe they can influence the events of their lives have high self-efficacy, while those who feel they are not in control and have little to no impact on what will happen to them in the future, have low self-efficacy (Bandura, 1977).

Self-efficacy is focused on current beliefs about the future; while self-confidence is also concerned with beliefs about the future, there is a definite link to the past—after all, our self-confidence is built on our past experiences.

Deci and Ryan drew from Bandura’s work to create their own theory on another “self-” construct: self-esteem. Self-Determination Theory posits that we are all born with an inherent drive to explore our environment and thrive, and that self-esteem results from humanity’s basic needs being met:

• Relatedness
• Autonomy (Ryan & Deci, 2000)

This theory expanded the boundaries of the self-confidence/self-esteem literature by adding in the needs component; when our needs are met, according to the theory, we have all the ingredients necessary to experience healthy self-esteem and to grow and flourish as a person.

Based on these three theories, and countless other reports, articles, and studies by other researchers in the field, we have been able to put together a more coherent picture of what self-confidence is. It is a sense of belief in oneself and feeling assured of your own abilities and chances of future success, and it is in large part based on your experiences.

We explore this further in The Science of Self-Acceptance Masterclass© .

Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem

So, although self-confidence and self-esteem have crossed paths at many points and share some common features, they are considered two distinct constructs.

Self-esteem is a fairly stable trait that doesn’t change much in individuals—unless they put in some dedicated effort to improve it. It can generally be defined as our beliefs in our own inherent value, worth, and how deserving we are of love, happiness , success, and other good things in life.

By contrast, self-confidence does not take into consideration any beliefs about worthiness or overall value; rather, it focuses on the ability to succeed and beliefs about one’s likelihood of succeeding.

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Healthy self-belief is not narcissism, bragging, or boasting. Rather, it is a realistic but optimistic evaluation of yourself and your abilities and a sense of trust and confidence in yourself.

Examples of healthy self-belief and self-confidence include:

• A woman goes on a date and has a great time; she feels like she and her date clicked and is looking forward to hearing from him. When he doesn’t call within a few days, she refrains from falling into a negative thought spiral and instead thinks, “Maybe he just isn’t the type of guy who calls right away. Or, maybe we just aren’t right for each other. I had fun and that’s what matters!”
• A man is looking for a job and sees a posting that has several requirements; he meets most of them, but he doesn’t quite reach the cutoff on a couple of them. Instead of passing it up and assuming he would never get an interview, he applies anyway and explains how he has other traits and qualifications that make up for any lack in the requirements in his cover letter.
• A student is interested in taking an Advanced Placement class at her high school and talks to her friends about it. Those who have already taken the class tells her it’s really hard and that she probably wouldn’t pass. She could trust in their judgment and pass up the opportunity, but instead, she holds firm in her belief about her own abilities and signs up anyway.

So, how do you become one of those people described above?

It isn’t necessarily an easy road, but you will probably find it more than worth the effort. Below are some tips on building your self-confidence and boosting your belief in yourself.

The team from the Mind Tools (2016) website listed several tips and suggestions for improving your self-confidence based on where you are on your journey:

• Preparing for your journey a. Take inventory of what you have already achieved. b. Think about your strengths and weaknesses (but especially your strengths). c. Think about your goals and values . d. Practice ceasing negative self-talk in its tracks and replacing it with positive thinking. e. Commit to the journey to self-confidence!
• Setting out a. Identify and enhance the knowledge and skills you need to succeed. b. Focus on the basics—don’t get bogged down in details or reaching for perfection. c. Set small goals and achieve them to “pile up successes.” d. Keep working on your positive thinking and self-talk.
• Accelerating towards success a. Celebrate your successes. b. Keep yourself grounded. c. Assess your current level of self-confidence and identify what strategies you can use to keep building it up.

If you hit a roadblock on your journey to self-confidence, don’t worry! They happen to everyone. Try to get back on track as soon as you can. You may find the following activities helpful.

Here are activities and exercises you can do to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Of course, the most important thing you can do to build your self-confidence is to get some success experiences under your belt—no matter how small—but here are some other things you can try as well.

Recognizing negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are so often a drain on our self-confidence, and we may not even realize it. Negative thoughts can be sneaky, so we need to be extra-vigilant in identifying and addressing them.

Practice “listening” to your own thoughts; notice the automatic thoughts that pop into your head and pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. When you notice a negative thought, grab onto it and either write it down or just sit and think about it for a moment.

Don’t spend long thinking about the thought in its current form, though. Instead, spend your time thinking about how it can be rephrased and adapted to become a positive (or at least neutral) thought.

For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “You’re such a failure! You can’t do anything right!” try to replace it with a more forgiving phrase like, “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I bet I can do better next time!”

This replacement thought not only offers you forgiveness and compassion , it also helps you boost your belief in your ability to succeed in the future. Give it a try and see if it works for you!

Challenging yourself

The best way to boost your self-confidence is to open yourself up to positive new experiences and allow yourself to succeed.

If you have low self-confidence, you probably don’t like taking risks—whether those risks involve physical activity, going for a new job or promotion, talking to someone you like, or just trying a new activity. It is a classic catch-22: your low self-confidence encourages you to avoid doing the exact things that would help you build up your self-confidence.

If uninterrupted, this can lead to an ever-deepening spiral of low self-confidence; you don’t have any exciting new successes, so your self-confidence is even lower, so you feel even less like trying new things.

To break this cycle, you know what you need to do: put yourself out there, try something new, and challenge yourself!

Find one thing you are interested in and go for it. It might be a cooking class, a running group, marathon training, or volunteering for a cause you are passionate about. Whatever it is, push yourself to take a risk and watch your confidence grow.

Giving yourself the self-care you need

Self-care is incredibly important for a lot of things, but it can be especially impactful for our self-confidence.

Engage in self-care to show yourself how valuable you are, and you will feel more confident in your abilities and motivated to prove that you are right about yourself.

Remember that self-care is about much more than just getting a massage or allowing yourself to indulge in some extra-tasty food or on a Netflix binge. Make sure to take care of your body, mind, and soul by eating healthy, exercising, giving yourself a break, and engaging in whatever other self-care you need to feel good.

Practice accepting failure

This isn’t an especially fun exercise to practice, but it is a necessary one. We all fail at some point, and it does us absolutely no good to pretend that we don’t—or won’t—ever fail.

To practice accepting failure, engage in some activities that you know you will fail at. I know, it sounds terrible! Why would you do something when you know you will fail? Because practicing failure can be just as important as practicing success.

Take risks and set stretch goals for yourself. Sometimes you will achieve them, and sometimes you won’t. Whether you achieve them or not, make sure to tell yourself the same thing after: “You put a lot of effort into this and I’m proud of you for working hard.”

You don’t need to succeed to be proud of yourself and confident in your abilities (Coleman, 2017).

You have certainly heard of hypnosis before, but you may not be as familiar with hypnotherapy —and you may not know what that has to do with self-confidence.

Hypnosis is an alternative treatment that is generally not practiced as a first-line approach, but it is not uncommon for a therapist to use hypnosis in cases that call for it. A lack of self-confidence can be one such case.

While CBT and other behavioral therapies can do a great job of tackling your conscious thoughts and helping you manage your feelings and behavior, we know that there is also a lot going on in your subconscious. Hypnotherapists believe that hypnosis can help treat low self-confidence by breaking into the negative things happening in your subconscious and injecting a dose of positivity.

If you’re interested in giving it a try, check out this sleep hypnosis on YouTube.

If you’re interested in trying hypnotherapy with a qualified professional, you can learn more here .

If you’re a fan of meditation and would like to try some that are geared toward improving your self-confidence, these might be just what you’re looking for:

Guided Meditation: Self-Esteem from The Honest Guys

Guided Meditation for Confidence, Self Love, and a Better Self Image from Joe T at Hypnotic Labs

Healing Spirit: Guided Meditation for Self Esteem and Acceptance, Anxiety, and Depression from MeditationRelaxClub

If you’re ready to get pumped full of confidence and motivation, but you don’t have time to watch a whole feature-length movie, check out these TED Talks and inspirational speeches:

The Skill of Self Confidence by Dr. Ivan Joseph

Success and Self-Confidence Through Rejection by Ted Ladd

The Surprising Secret to Speaking with Confidence by Caroline Goyder

The Power of Believing You Can Improve by Carol Dweck

If you’re looking for some inspirational self belief quotes or motivating affirmations to help you boost your self-confidence, check out this list of 19 quotes and affirmations.

“A great figure or physique is nice, but it’s self-confidence that makes someone really sexy.”

Vivica A. Fox

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”

Arthur Ashe

“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.”

Thomas Carlyle

“To excel at the highest level—or any level, really—you need to believe in yourself, and hands down, one of the biggest contributors to my self-confidence has been private coaching.”

Stephen Curry

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.”

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.”

Samuel Johnson

“Smile, for everyone lacks self-confidence and more than any other one thing a smile reassures them.”

Andee Maurios

“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.”

William Jennings Bryan

“My self-confidence didn’t come from my appearance, it came from other things that I did. But certainly not my appearance.”

Alex Spanos

“I’ve studies the lives of the 20th century’s great businessmen and concluded that self-confidence was instrumental in all their success.”

Ron Perlman

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

E.E. Cummings

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

If these quotes don’t quite hit the spot, you may benefit from creating some self-confidence affirmations. You can also create your own, but these are some good examples that can help get you started:

• “I am smart, competent, and capable.”
• “I am growing and changing for the better.”
• “I believe in myself and my abilities.”
• “I can do anything I set my mind to.”
• “I act with confidence and with a plan, but I accept that plans can change.”
• “It is enough to have done my best.”
• “I have the power to change myself.”

17 Exercises To Foster Self-Acceptance and Compassion

Help your clients develop a kinder, more accepting relationship with themselves using these 17 Self-Compassion Exercises [PDF] that promote self-care and self-compassion.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

I hope you found this piece a useful and informative dive into self-confidence and self-belief. It turns out that Henry Ford was mostly right—although self-confidence isn’t necessary to function in our world, it can make all the difference between “just getting by” and thriving!

If you found any of these exercises useful, bookmark this page so you can come back to it at any time and remind yourself that you can do it—whatever it is!

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think self-confidence is the key to success? How do you give yourself a boost of confidence when you need it? Let us know in the comments section!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free .

• Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84, 191-215.
• Coleman, C. (2017). Activities to build self-confidence. Live Strong. Retrieved from https://www.livestrong.com/article/17120-activities-build-self-confidence/
• Mind Tools Content Team. (2016). Building self-confidence: Preparing yourself for success! Mind Tools. Retrieved from https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html
• Mowday, R. T. (1979). Leader characteristics, self-confidence, and methods of upward influence in organizational decision situations. Academy of Management Journal, 22.
• Nayler, C. (2010). What is self-esteem? 3 theories on the function of self-esteem. Positive Psychology.org.uk. Retrieved from http://positivepsychology.org.uk/self-esteem-theory/
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55 , 68-78.

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10 tips for building self-confidence before a presentation

Many different career paths involve delivering presentations, from individuals in corporate office jobs, to entrepreneurs looking for investment, to teaching staff. Presenting is not only a requirement in various workplaces, these days it’s quite commonplace in interview situations as well.

Presenting in any one of these situations can be daunting. And now, with lots of our roles largely operating from home, there is the added challenge of presenting online over video call.

A presentation is only as good as the preparation and planning process, and so it’s not only important to have your content ready, but to also feel mentally ready yourself. Along with checking over any PowerPoint slides and getting other resources ready, building your confidence is an essential part of the preparation.

In this week’s guest blog post, Dan Martin, shares his ten top tips for preparing for an important presentation, from building your self-esteem beforehand to maintaining your confidence on the day.

1. Listen to your favourite music

Before presenting, try listening to your favourite music to help build your confidence and increase your energy levels.

Find that one song that empowers you and lifts your spirits and play it before you present. Remember that uplifting feeling when presenting and if it helps, replay the same song in your mind to help you feel centred.

2. Wear smart clothes that you are comfortable in

Your outward appearance speaks volumes about your level of self-confidence. While it’s important to wear smart clothing for professionalism, make sure you are also comfortable in those clothes, as there is little to gain in wearing a smart outfit where you don’t feel your best.

Consider choosing either a pair of shoes that are special to you, accessories that are meaningful, or a jacket or trousers that you feel great in.

3. Take inspiration from an important person in your life

To lift your confidence, try putting yourself in the shoes of someone you love and admire. Whether that person is a friend, mentor, or a credible public figure, consider their traits you admire and ask yourself what they would do in your situation.

This technique of drawing inspiration from people who present themselves well can do wonders for boosting your own self-confidence.

4. Rehearse your presentation

One of the best ways to ensure that you’ll give a confident presentation is by practising as much as you can.

You could ask a friend to help you with mastering the pitch before it’s presented, and if you’re not able to find someone to be your practise-audience, try rehearsing your pitch in front of a mirror. Repeating this process and knowing in your heart that you've done all you can to prepare your speech will help build your confidence levels.  

5. Do something you love beforehand

As well as rehearsing your presentation, take some time to do something you love and enjoy beforehand, whether it’s in the morning of your pitch or the day before.

Whether you read something inspiring, practise yoga, go out for a run or spend some time talking to loved ones. Getting yourself in the headspace of feeling good by doing something you enjoy will spark those feelings of confidence when you come to deliver your presentation.

6. Be true to yourself

Confidence comes from you knowing yourself, so ensure authenticity by staying true to your principles.

Situations may vary, though try to take the opportunity to share your values and passion whenever possible. When you believe in the content you are delivering and are fully engaged, then your confidence will naturally shine through. 

7. Give compliments to others

Psychologists have found that giving compliments to others can boost your own confidence.

Competent people are rarely shy about encouraging others, so whether it’s a stranger, someone you know or the recipient of your presentation, consider complimenting them – you’ll be glad you did.

8. Prepare professional and appealing visuals

Preparing attractive visual materials to support your presentation not only compliments your pitch, they can also act as a helpful prompt.

Putting a visual presentation together is perhaps much easier nowadays with various paid and free applications available. If you’re not sure about the best way to design your presentation, there are many template backgrounds you can use through PowerPoint or Keynote, which can help you deliver a well-planned, visual presentation.

Also consider, who in your network my have the creative skills to support you?

9. Maintain eye-contact

Maintaining a level of eye contact with your audience can help you to come across more confident, trustworthy and approachable.

Admittedly, this can be more difficult when it comes to online presentations, so if you are at an online meeting where cameras are on, looking directly into the lense of the camera on your laptop or computer when possible enables the attendees to ‘feel like’ you’re making eye contact with them.

It’s also important to break up eye contact regularly, so take your time to find a rhythm that works for you.

10. Have a confident posture

Your body posture contributes to 60% of your communication, and choices like keeping your chin up and shoulders straight are subtle expressions of confidence.

For an excellent pitch, aim to straighten your posture and avoid the overuse of your arms while talking, as this can be distracting. Again, while this is slightly more difficult over a video call, you can still maintain a confident posture. Set up your laptop and camera in advance and try different standing and sitting positions until you find a comfortable, professional stance that works for you.

Building confidence is a process

In the lead up to a presentation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, while it may seem like some people are naturally gifted when it comes to delivering a stand-out presentation, it’s not an easy task for anyone – no matter how well you plan and prepare.

To stay focused and give a compelling presentation, you need to be in the right state of mind. It takes time to build the mental discipline to pull off a stand-out presentation and armed with these tips, I hope you'll feel better equipped to prepare and present a powerful pitch that you feel proud of.

Remember that confidence-building is a continuous process, and it gets easier with practise.

Dan has worked in digital marketing since 2007. His passion is developing teams and coaching individuals to foster innovation and solve real-time problems. Dan also enjoys photography and travelling.

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How to Build Self-Confidence

Preparing yourself for success.

By the Mind Tools Content Team

Self-confident people seem at ease with themselves and their work. They invite trust and inspire confidence in others. These are all attractive characteristics to have.

But it's not always easy to be confident in yourself, particularly if you're naturally self-critical or if other people put you down. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to increase and maintain your self-confidence.

This article explains what self-confidence is and why it matters. We'll explore how to believe in yourself and how to project this belief to others, so that you can be more effective and happier in your life and work.

People who are self-confident perform better at work, so it's important to nurture your team members' self-confidence, too. Our article, How to Build Confidence in Others , discusses how you can do this for co-workers or even your boss.

What Is Self-Confidence – and Why Is It Important?

Self-confidence means trusting in your own judgment, capacities and abilities. [1] It's about valuing yourself and feeling worthy, regardless of any imperfections or what others may believe about you.

Self-efficacy and self-esteem are often used interchangeably with self-confidence. But they are subtly different.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves mastering skills and achieving goals. This encourages us to believe that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed. [2] It's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges and keep going in the face of setbacks.

Self-esteem is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy.

Also, self-esteem comes, in part, from the feeling that the people around us approve of us. We may or may not be able to control this, and if we experience a lot of criticism or rejection from others, our self-esteem can easily suffer unless we support it in other ways.

Confidence and Behavior

Take a look at the table below, which compares confident behavior with behavior that's associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself?

As these examples show, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and may manifest itself as negativity.

Self-confident people are generally more positive – they value themselves and trust their judgment. But they also acknowledge their failures and mistakes, and learn from them.

Take our short quiz to find out how self-confident you are right now. You'll also discover ways to improve your confidence levels by building self-efficacy.

Why Self-Confidence Matters

Self-confidence is vital in almost every aspect of our lives, yet many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can become a vicious cycle: people who lack self-confidence are less likely to achieve the success that could give them more confidence.

For example, you may not be inclined to back a project that's pitched by someone who's visibly nervous, fumbling, or constantly apologizing. On the other hand, you're persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, holds their head high, and answers questions with assurance.

Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their co-workers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways to succeed. In the following sections, we'll see how you can do this.

How to Appear More Confident to Others

Picture anyone you know that you think of as highly confident – what characteristics do they have that make you think this? It's most likely one or more of these things:

• the way they speak (tone, how they project their voice, words),
• their energy and enthusiasm,
• how expert or knowledgeable they are about something.

You can show self-confidence in your behavior, your body language, and in what you say and how you say it.

Projecting a positive image to others can help you to improve your self-confidence. It's not simply a matter of "faking it" – if you project with confidence, others are more likely to respond well, and this positive feedback will help you to believe in yourself.

Body Language

In her book, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges , Amy Cuddy argues that you can build confidence just by the way you move your body and hold yourself.

When we feel anxious, at meetings for instance, we tend to make ourselves smaller by slouching, hunching our shoulders, and bowing our heads. Simply sitting up straight can make you feel less stressed and more assertive .

If you're presenting, spreading your hands apart with palms slightly toward your audience shows openness and a willingness to share ideas.

Read our article, Body Language , for further tips on looking – and feeling – more confident.

Face-to-Face Communication

People with low self-confidence often find it difficult to make a good first impression – whether they're meeting a client, addressing a meeting, or giving a presentation. You may be shy or unsure of yourself, but you can take immediate steps to appear more confident.

Engaging with people is important, so maintain eye contact while you talk. This shows that you're interested in what the other person is saying, and that you're taking an active part in the conversation. Don't fidget or look away while the conversation continues, as this can make you appear distracted or anxious.

Build Expert Power

You are likely to appear (and feel) confident when you know what you're talking about. With a wealth of knowledge on a subject, you'll be more prepared to answer questions and speak on the spot.

If you lack confidence because of a gap in your expertise, work on finding out more information. Are there any relevant webinars or events you could attend? Is there a course you could take? Or perhaps you could find a mentor. See our article, Building Expert Power , and our Skillbook for more tips on this.

Rebuilding Confidence at Work

Changes to the way they work and long periods away from work negatively impact many people's confidence. One study found that over a third of people returning to the workplace after a year or more away experience a loss of confidence in their own ability. [3] You might struggle to make your voice heard in meetings, or feel lost or isolated without the company of your colleagues while working from home, for example.

To address dips in confidence, first try to identify the cause of the problem. If you feel that there are tasks you can't do, it makes sense to improve your skills. Carry out a Personal SWOT Analysis to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Then draw up an action plan to work on the areas where you're not so strong.

Other people's attitudes or behavior can contribute to your lack of confidence. You might feel that your co-workers make unfair assumptions about you. Maybe you're being bullied or are subject to microaggressions. If so, you need to call this behavior out.

You can use the Situation-Behavior-Impact Feedback Tool to make it clear to the person responsible that their behavior is harmful. If you don't feel safe talking to them, seek help from your line manager. If they're part of the problem, speak to a team member, HR, or an employee support network if you have one. Workplace bullying or discrimination is never acceptable in any situation.

People with low self-confidence often feel that they don't deserve to be happy, and that it's somehow justifiable for others to treat them badly. While the feeling may be very real, the belief is certainly not!

Three Ways to Build Your Confidence

While there are quick fixes to address acute issues with your self-confidence, building confidence in the long term requires making some changes to your lifestyle and forming robust plans. Here are three ways to do that:

1. Build Confident Habits

To develop and improve your self-esteem, aim to develop good habits – and break bad ones ! Regular exercise and a healthy diet can dramatically improve your physical and mental health . And studies have shown that getting a good night's sleep is linked with increased optimism and self-esteem. [4]

Working on your personal branding can also help. If you project a positive image of your authentic self, you'll likely start to receive the positive feedback that's so important to your self-confidence.

2. Review Past Achievements

Your self-confidence will increase when you're able to say, "I can do this, and here's the evidence." As part of your Personal SWOT Analysis, you'll have identified things that you're good at, based on your past achievements.

List the 10 things that you're most proud of in an "achievement log." Then use them to make positive affirmations about what you can do. These statements are particularly powerful if you tend to undermine your confidence with negative self-talk.

You can learn to identify and defeat any negative self-talk that's harming your self-confidence. See our article, Positive Thinking, Thought Awareness, and Rational Thinking , for more on this.

3. Set Confidence-Boosting Goals

Setting and achieving goals – and seeing how far you've come – are key ways to develop self-confidence.

Use your Personal SWOT Analysis to set goals that play to your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and take advantage of your opportunities.

When you've identified the major goals you want to achieve, clarify the first steps you need to take. Make sure that they're small steps, taking no longer than an hour to do. This will get the ball rolling and improve your confidence through the achievement of appropriate goals.

When you're self-confident, you trust your own judgment and abilities, and have a strong sense of self-worth and self-belief.

You can take immediate steps to project greater self-confidence and address the factors that dent it. You can then develop these short-term strategies into ways to build and maintain self-confidence in the future.

Developing good habits, reviewing past achievements, and setting yourself targeted goals will improve your self-esteem, and build and maintain your confidence for the long term.

[1] Psychology Dictionary, Self-Confidence [online]. Available here .

[2] Bandura, A. (1997). ' Self Efficacy: The Exercise of Control ,' New York: Worth.

[3] Vodafone U.K., (2021). Lost Connections: Supporting returners into the workplace in 2021 and beyond [online]. Available here . [Accessed October 6, 2021].

[4] Lemola, S., Räikkönen, K., Gomez, V., et al. (2013). 'Optimism and self-esteem are related to sleep. Results from a large community-based sample,' International Journal of Behavioral Medicine , 20, 567-571. Available here .

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I really appreciate this post! Lots of great ideas here!! I read another article tonight about how to increase self esteem (https://debpreston.com/how-to-increase-self-esteem/ if you're interested) and found a tip that I think would also apply to self-confidence...master a new skill! If you pursue your interests and hobbies and gain some level of expertise, or even more than the average bear, you've got that feather to stick in your cap and give you a boost. Thanks again!!

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How to Look and Sound Confident During a Presentation

• Carmine Gallo

Your audience will make up their minds about you in seconds.

How you look and sound during a speech or presentation are going to make a big impression on your audience. Within seconds, listeners will decide whether you are trustworthy, and they will do it based on your body language and vocal attributes. The good news is that there is plenty of hard evidence that explains how you can give the appearance of confidence and competence — even if you’re nervous or timid on the inside. To look confident, make eye contact, keep an open posture, and use gestures to emphasize your message. To sound confident, eliminate filler words, take time to pause before important messages, and vary your pace.

You’ve crafted the message and created the slides for your next presentation. Now it’s time to wow the audience. How you look and sound are going to make a big impression — and your audience will form opinions quickly .

• Carmine Gallo is a Harvard University instructor, keynote speaker, and author of 10 books translated into 40 languages. Gallo is the author of The Bezos Blueprint: Communication Secrets of the World’s Greatest Salesman  (St. Martin’s Press).

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How to Be More Confident: 9 Tips That Work

Believing in yourself will take you far

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

Verywell / Jiaqi Zhou

Ways to Be More Confident

Confidence vs. insecurity, being more confident has a lot of benefits, frequently asked questions.

The majority of us probably want to be a little more confident. A feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgment? Sign us up. The American Psychological Association defines self-confidence as "a belief that one is capable of successfully meeting the demands of a task."

It can refer to a general sense of trust in your ability to control your life , or it might be more situation-specific. For example, you might have high self-confidence in a particular area of expertise but feel less confident in other areas. Research suggests that confidence is important to health and psychological well-being .

But cultivating and maintaining confidence isn't easy and it's an easy thing to lose when you feel like you've failed or made a mistake. That's why actively working on building up your self-confidence is so crucial, it's something you have to maintain. As cheesy as it sounds, you do have to believe in yourself!

"The doubt that comes with second-guessing yourself has both internal and external repercussions," explains Hannah Owens, LMSW. "Confidence not only affects you and how you feel about yourself, but it also communicates to others that you are trustworthy and capable—which can be helpful both socially and at work."

Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become more successful in your personal and professional life. Research has found, for example, that more confident people tend to achieve more academically. Your level of confidence even affects how you present yourself to others.

Fortunately, there are several ways you can increase your self-confidence. Whether you lack confidence in one specific area or struggle to feel confident about anything, these nine tips can help you be more confident.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Do you compare how you look to people you follow on Instagram? Or maybe you compare your salary to what your friend earns. Social comparison theory explains that making comparisons is natural. But it isn't likely to help boost your self-confidence. It may even have the opposite effect. 

A 2018 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found a direct link between envy and the way we feel about ourselves. Specifically, researchers noted that when people compare themselves to others, they experience envy. And the more envy they have, the worse they feel about themselves.

How do you build self-confidence when you notice that you are drawing comparisons? First, remind yourself that doing so isn’t helpful. Everyone is running their own race and life isn’t a competition.

If you’re feeling envious of someone else’s life, it's also helpful to remember your own strengths and successes. Keep a  gratitude journal to better recall the areas in life where you are blessed. This can help you focus on your own life versus focusing on the lives of others.

"Social media is especially nefarious in this way," says Owens. "It is a system practically designed to foster comparison. But remembering that people generally only post the very best and the very worst of their experiences can help you celebrate your daily victories, which can boost your confidence."

Surround Yourself With Positive People

Take a moment and think about how your friends make you feel. Do they lift you up, or do they bring you down? Are they constantly judging you, or do they accept you for who you are? 

The people you spend time with can influence your thoughts and attitudes about yourself, perhaps more than you realize. So, pay attention to how others make you feel. If you feel bad about yourself after hanging out with a particular person, it may be time to say goodbye . 

Instead, surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Seek out others who are positive and can help build your confidence. Self-confidence and a positive attitude go hand-in-hand.

Take Care of Your Body

This tip for how to be more confident is based on the idea that it’s hard to feel good about yourself if you’re abusing your body. When you practice self-care , you know you're doing something positive for your mind, body, and spirit—and you'll naturally feel more confident as a result.

Here are a few self-care practices linked to higher levels of self-confidence:

• Diet : Healthy eating comes with many benefits, including higher levels of confidence and self-esteem. When you fuel your body with nutrient-dense foods, you feel healthier, stronger, and more energized, which can result in feeling better about yourself.
• Exercise : Studies consistently show that physical exercise boosts self-confidence. For instance, a 2016 study found that regular physical activity improved participants’ body image. And when their body image improved, they felt more confident.
• Meditation : More than just a relaxation practice, meditation can help boost self-confidence in several ways. For one, it helps you to recognize and accept yourself. Meditation also teaches you to stop negative self-talk and disconnect from unhelpful mental chatter interfering with your confidence.
• Sleep : Skimping on sleep can take a toll on your emotions. Conversely, good-quality sleep has been linked with positive personality traits, including optimism and self-esteem.

Caring for yourself is important to self-confidence. Make sure you are getting what you need to feel good about yourself and your abilities.

"Taking care of your body doesn't just mean looking good," explains Owens. "When you make yourself and your self-care a priority, you are projecting to the world that you matter—which convinces others to feel the same way about you."

Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness when you make a mistake, fail, or experience a setback. It allows you to become more emotionally flexible and helps you better navigate challenging emotions, enhancing your connection to yourself and others.

Hannah Owens, LMSW

Taking care of your body doesn't just mean looking good...When you make yourself and your self-care a priority, you are projecting to the world that you matter—which convinces others to feel the same way about you.

A 2015 study connects self-compassion with self-confidence. So the next time you're in a challenging situation, recognize that being imperfect or falling short at times is a part of being human. Do your best to navigate these experiences with compassion toward yourself.

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can limit your abilities and lessen your self-confidence by convincing your subconscious that you "can't handle" something or that it is "too hard" and you "shouldn't even try." Self-talk that is optimistic, on the other hand, can foster self-compassion and help you overcome self-doubt and take on new challenges.

The next time you begin to think that you have no business speaking up in a meeting or that you are too out of shape to work out, remind yourself that your thoughts aren’t always accurate. Then find a way to turn those thoughts around into more positive self-talk .

Here are a few examples of ways to challenge pessimistic self-talk and reframe your thoughts into a more positive way of thinking, increasing your self-confidence along the way:

• "I can't handle this" or "This is impossible" becomes "I can do this" or "All I have to do is try."
• "I can't do anything right" becomes "I can do better next time" or "At least I learned something."
• "I hate public speaking" becomes "I don't like public speaking" and "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses."

Face Your Fears

Stop putting things off until you feel more self-confident—like asking someone on a date or applying for a promotion. One of the best ways to build your confidence in these situations is by facing your fears head-on .

Practice facing some of your fears that stem from a lack of self-confidence. If you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself or think that you’re going to mess up, try anyway. A little self-doubt can even help improve performance. Tell yourself it’s just an experiment and see what happens.

You might learn that being a little anxious or making a few mistakes isn’t as bad as you thought. And each time you move forward, you gain more confidence in yourself. In the end, this can help prevent you from taking risks that will result in major negative consequences.

"This is, of course, easier said than done," says Owens, "but even small victories can help. Consider this a kind of exposure therapy - even a little progress is still progress!"

Do Things You're Good At

What happens when you do things that you are good at? Your self-confidence starts to soar. Your strengths become even stronger, which helps improve your belief in yourself. Taking this approach also has another benefit: it can increase how satisfied you are with your life.

One study found that believing in your ability to build on your personal strengths is moderately related to life satisfaction levels. This starts with identifying what those strengths are. Then, work to make them stronger by engaging with them regularly.

If you're good at a certain sport, for instance, make it a point to train or play at least once a week. If you're good at a particular task at work, try to do that task more often. Building on your strengths can also help you build your self-confidence.

Know When to Say No

While doing things you're good at can give your self-confidence a boost, it's equally important to recognize situations that can cause your confidence to plummet. Maybe you find that every time you participate in a certain activity, you feel worse about yourself instead of better.

Saying no to activities that tend to zap your self-confidence is okay. Certainly, you don't want to avoid doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable because discomfort is often part of the personal growth process. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with knowing your boundaries and sticking to them.

Setting social and emotional boundaries enables you to feel safer psychologically. It can also help you feel more in control. Self-confidence is, in part, feeling like you have control over your life. Boundaries help establish this feeling of control.

The next time someone suggests doing something that you know will lower your self-confidence, respectfully decline. You don't have to avoid that activity forever either. Once you learn how to be more confident, you may feel strong enough to try it again—without hurting the confidence you have in yourself.

Set Realistic Goals

Pursuing your goals often involves failing several times until you figure out what works. This can make you wonder if you have what it takes to succeed. It can also leave you questioning how to be more confident while still achieving your dreams. The answer lies in setting realistic goals.

Setting high-reaching goals and failing to achieve them has been found to damage confidence levels. Conversely, realistic goals are achievable. And the more you achieve your goals, the greater your confidence in yourself and your abilities.

To set realistic goals , write down what you want to achieve. Next, ask yourself what chance you have of attaining it. (Be honest!) If the answer is slim to none, the goal may be a bit too lofty. Dial it back so it is more realistic and more achievable.

This may require doing a bit of research on your part. For instance, if you have a goal to lose weight, experts recommend losing one to two pounds per week for healthy, long-term weight loss. Knowing this helps you set a goal in line with this guideline, boosting your self-confidence when you hit it.

Press Play for Advice on Confidence

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies that can help you learn to truly believe in yourself, featuring IT Cosmetics founder Jamie Kern Lima. Click below to listen now.

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When learning how to be more confident, it can be helpful to understand how someone with self-confidence is different from someone who is more insecure. Here are just some of the differences between the two.

Celebrate other people's success

Open-minded

Willing to take risks

Laugh at themselves

Always learning and growing

Admit mistakes

Accept responsibility

Judge and are jealous of others

Close-minded

Pessimistic

Afraid of change

Act like a know-it-all

Make excuses

Blame others

Being confident in yourself just feels good. That said, having self-confidence can also bring many additional benefits at home, at work, and within your relationships. Here's a look at a few of the positive effects of learning how to be confident:

• Better performance : Rather than waste time and energy worrying that you aren't good enough , you can devote your energy to your efforts. Ultimately, you'll perform better when you have more self-confidence.
• Healthier relationships : Having self-confidence not only impacts how you feel about yourself, but it helps you better understand and love others. It also gives you the strength to walk away from a relationship if you're not getting what you want or deserve.
• Openness to try new things : When you believe in yourself, you're more willing to try new things. Whether you apply for a promotion or sign up for a cooking class, putting yourself out there is a lot easier when you have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
• Resilience : Believing in yourself can enhance your resilience or ability to bounce back from any challenges or adversities you face in life.

Learning how to be more confident can have a range of positive effects on your life. In addition to helping you feel better about yourself and your abilities, self-confidence can make your relationships stronger and make you more resilient to stress.

Keep in Mind

Everyone struggles with confidence issues at one time or another. Fortunately, there are several things that you can do to boost self-confidence. In many cases, learning how to act confident can actually help you feel more confident.

"This is similar to the adage that the physical act of smiling can trick your brain into feeling happier," says Owens. "If you exude confidence, even when you don't feel that way, others will treat you differently, which will boost your confidence—and thus the cycle continues."

Sometimes low self-confidence is a sign of a mental health condition such as depression or anxiety . If your self-confidence interferes with your work, social life, or education, consider talking to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you better understand the issue, recommend treatment, and work with you to develop skills to build your self-confidence.

If your confidence tends to lag in social situations, try to change your perspective. Instead of looking at group interactions as a stressor, view them as an opportunity to work on building your self-confidence. Taking someone with you who makes you feel confident can also give you the self-belief needed to feel more comfortable around groups of people.

Creating the social event yourself may help as well because you will know what to expect and have some level of control. If social situations cause you great anxiety along with reduced self-confidence, talking to a mental health professional can help.

One way to develop self-confidence in a relationship is to recognize your worth. When you know the value you bring to others, it helps you feel more confident in yourself. It can also be helpful to stay in the present and not worry about the past or the future.

If your lack of confidence in relationships is due to a fear of being rejected, remember that not everyone is compatible. Just as you might not be for them, they might also not be for you—it's nothing personal.

If your lack of confidence in the workplace is tied to concerns about your performance, check in regularly with a superior to see how you're doing. Ask for feedback about areas where you can improve, then work on them to feel more confident in your duties.

It can also be helpful to consider where you excel at work and perform these activities as often as possible. If you do make a mistake, admit it, learn from it, and move on. No one is perfect, so you shouldn't expect yourself to be either.

If your self-confidence is tied to your physical appearance, developing a more positive body image can help. Instead of focusing on areas of your body that you dislike, spend more time appreciating the areas you feel good about.

Another tip for how to become more confident is to not compare your body to anyone else's. No two bodies are the same and each has its own strengths. Remember that there is room in this world for people of all shapes and sizes.

American Psychological Association. Self-confidence .

Perry P. Concept analysis: Confidence/self-confidence . Nurs Forum . 2011;46(4):218-30. doi:10.1111/j.1744-6198.2011.00230.x

Stankov L, Morony S, Lee YP. Confidence: The best non-cognitive predictor of academic achievement? Educat Psychol . 2014;34(1):9-28. doi:10.1080/01443410.2013.814194

Vrabel JK, Zeigler-Hill V, Southard AC. Self-esteem and envy: Is state self-esteem instability associated with the benign and malicious forms of envy?   Pers Individ Diff . 2018;123:100-104. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.11.001

Rafiei H, Senmar M, Mostafaie M, et al. Self-confidence and attitude of acute care nurses to the presence of family members during resuscitation . British J Nurs . 2018;27(21). doi:10.12968/bjon.2018.27.21.1246

Duke University Personal Assistance Service. Self-care tips for the body & soul .

Zamani Sani SH, Fathirezaie Z, Brand S, et al. Physical activity and self-esteem: Testing direct and indirect relationships associated with psychological and physical mechanisms . Neuropsychiatr Dis Treat . 2016;12:2617–2625. doi:10.2147/NDT.S116811

Lemola S, Räikkönen K, Gomez V, Allemand M. Optimism and self-esteem are related to sleep. Results from a large community-based sample .  IntJ Behav Med . 2013;20(4):567-571. doi:10.1007/s12529-012-9272-z

Arslan C. Interpersonal problem solving, self-compassion and personality traits in university students . Educ Res Reviews . 2015;11(7):474-81. doi:10.5897/ERR2015.2605

Walter N, Nikoleizig L, Alfermann D. Effects of self-talk training on competitive anxiety, self-efficacy, volitional skills, and performance: an intervention study with junior sub-elite athletes .  Sports (Basel) . 2019;7(6):148. doi:10.3390/sports7060148

Martins I, Perez Monsalve JP, Velasquez Martinez A. Self-confidence and fear of failure among university students and their relationship with entrepreneurial orientation: Evidence from Colombia . Academia Revista Latinoamericana de Administracion . 2018;31(3):471-85. doi:10.1108/ARLA-01-2018-0018

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. What is healthy weight loss?

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By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

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13 ways to actually build confidence in yourself, from experts.

Confidence—everyone wants it, and we can easily spot it in others. But when it comes to summoning our own confidence, it can feel like an impossible task. The good news is this sense of confidence isn't as elusive as it might feel. There are ways to develop self-confidence.

Where confidence comes from.

Confidence is self-trust in your skills, choices, and values. It comes from within yourself and feels like an inner knowing of your strengths and weaknesses while still thinking positively about yourself.

"Self-confidence comes from the information and ideas we take in through the world that support a positive perspective about ourselves," says licensed psychotherapist Rameya Shanmugavelayutham, LCSW . "Often we enter into the world with an abundance of self-confidence. Consider the young child who feels confident taking risks like jumping off the swings or dances without a care in front of a crowd. When a young child is affirmed and encouraged, they strengthen their sense of self and begin to hold cognitive schemas that confirm they are worthy, valuable, beautiful, intelligent, etc."

While many people often have a strong sense of confidence as a child, life often throws curve balls that can diminish confidence. Low self-confidence can feel like being unable to handle other people's criticisms or difficulty trusting yourself and others.

The great thing is, every moment is a chance to build evidence toward your self-confidence. To make up for what was lost, you can rebuild confidence over time through small and large moments that ladder up toward more self-trust. 

Notably, although they look similar on the surface, being shy or introverted does not equate to a lack of self-confidence. Shyness is a personality trait where some people are naturally timid around others. Being an introvert is also a personality trait, first described by Carl Jung as someone who prefers to turn inward to their internal world for reflection and insight. This is in contrast to extroverts, who prefer to engage with other people. (Here's a quick quiz to find out if you're an introvert or extrovert .)

What causes low confidence? 

Just as you can build positive self-confidence, there are things that can erode it. According to Shanmugavelayutham, the way people are socialized and seen by those around them, in addition to difficult transitions in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, can all lead to lower self-confidence.

She says some factors that can contribute to a negative sense of self include:

• Caregivers that are overly critical or reprimanding
• Caregivers that limit a child's exploration
• Feeling rejected by peers
• Difficulties transitioning into a constructed idea of "adulthood"
• Media representations and data from the world about what's "ideal" in a person

Varying levels of confidence can also show up in different situations. You may feel very confident in math because you were socialized and praised to succeed in your academic studies. You may feel less confident when it comes to public speaking because you've previously received criticisms from peers and haven't yet processed their feedback in a useful way.

Again, the good news is that low self-confidence is fixable, and you are totally in charge of making it happen.

13 ways to build confidence:

Figure out where your lack of confidence stems from..

Finding the root cause for low self-confidence can provide a map of how to build up more positive self-confidence. A good place to start is through self-reflection and journaling.

Try this exercise to help you get to the possible root cause of your low self-confidence:

• For one week, record any low self-confidence thoughts or sayings that keep showing up for you. 
• For each thought or saying, ask yourself "Who or what told you that?" 
• Decide if you want to allow that voice to have authority over your thoughts in this stage of your life.
• Journal out your reactions and create a plan of action to move forward.

If you're struggling with this, it can also help to work with a therapist or coach to identify and transform the unhelpful low-self-confidence thoughts.

Understand what self-confidence feels like for you.

Take some time to figure out what confidence feels like in your body. A good question to ask is "How will you know that you've reached a satisfactory level of self-confidence?" Perhaps you will start speaking up more at work. You might finally wear that outfit you've always wanted to. You may even introduce yourself to your crush at your co-working space. This will be different from person to person, so it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. This is your personal measurement of confidence. 

Align with yourself.

If you find yourself frequently using the word "should," (for example, I should be married by 30 , I should have a house by next year, or I should have my life together by now ) , take a step back and reflect. Where is this "should" coming from?

Many of the "shoulds" in life stem from cultural or familial expectations. With all of these statements, it's helpful to always ask yourself: Is this what I truly want for myself?

You have the power to reclaim your life at any point. The more that you make decisions aligned with your true self and your desires, the more confident you will become in your decision-making.

Start small.

Most of us don't like experiencing a ton of change at once. A very important key for self-improvement work is starting small. 

Shirin Eskandani , life coach and founder of Wholehearted Coaching, says one way to build self-confidence is to make small promises to yourself and then follow through. "And the key word is small . Do things that are a stretch but also realistic for you. So perhaps if you're not a morning person, not committing to waking up at 6 a.m. every day to do a morning routine but instead trying out an evening routine."

Adopt a growth mindset.

A growth mindset encourages you to explore beyond your current skills and knowledge, keeping the possibility of improvement open. Instead of using phrases like "I'm not confident," just add "yet" to it, which transforms the old belief into "I'm not confident yet ." This adds the qualifier that you are in the process of gaining skills to become confident.

A 2019 study 1 found that growth mindset interventions led to better math grades for high schoolers and improved even more when students were immersed in environments that encouraged growth mindset principles. So it's worth exploring your new growth mindset with like-minded people.

Know you will fail, and that's OK.

We live in a failure-averse culture where people mostly just talk about their accomplishments. Rarely do you ever get to hear about people's accounts of failure. Understanding that failure happens and is a part of the process of living will help you to live more fully. 

"For a lot of us, we were usually taught that self-confidence comes from achievements," certified life coach and leadership coach Nicole Cruz tells mindbodygreen. "However, this means that when we achieve, we feel great about our abilities, but when we fail, our self-confidence takes a hit. I truly believe that self-confidence comes from our own thoughts about our abilities rather than external achievements. So that regardless of whether we succeed or fail, we have the power to retain our self-confidence."

Stand up to your inner critic.

Sometimes you might hesitate to trust yourself because you've received critical feedback from authority figures earlier in life, like parents, teachers, or community leaders, and you have adopted their criticisms as your own beliefs. But there comes a point when this feedback no longer serves your current life. Standing up to those old criticisms can unlock a new level of confidence.

"Confidence can also be built by rewriting the narratives in our heads about our worthiness. This involves identifying self-limiting beliefs and reframing them," Shanmugavelayutham explains. "Often the voice in our head that tells us we are not good enough is not our authentic voice but an aggregate of all the voices of those who have criticized us in the past. When we talk back to the inner critic enough, the confident inner-child that we lost touch with can reemerge."

Understand that emotions and feelings are temporary.

In the book Come As You Are , sex educator and researcher Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., writes, "Emotions are tunnels. You have to go all the way through the darkness to get to the light at the end."

Emotions go through a cycle of beginning, middle, and end. Although emotions can feel really intense in the moment, they are only temporary. At the very basic level, emotions are physiological responses to stimuli in your environment. If your Wi-Fi goes out right before your work presentation, you may experience an acute pang of stress. If you receive a surprise package from your sister, you may be overcome by heartfelt joy. If you get a text from your ex, you may feel a sharp streak of hot sadness. Whatever the stimuli and paired emotion, they're all data points to inform your next action step. 

In terms of confidence, any emotion like anxiety, stress, or fear that is holding you back from taking action is only temporary. Once it subsides, you can make your next move. As the saying goes, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

Focus on what you can control.

"A lot of times, we base our self-confidence on things we actually have no control over—what other people think, the outcome of a project, others' reactions, etc.," Cruz explains. "To build self-confidence, we need to release our attachment to the things we can't control and start basing our self-confidence on what we do have control over."

Take, for example, when you're working on a presentation, she says. You might invest a lot of energy into other people's opinions, the outcome of your project, or your peers' reactions to your work. To build self-confidence against things you don't have control over, Cruz advises to focus on the things you can control—for example, how prepared you are, your passion for the presentation topic, and how much work you've put into it. 

"Remind yourself of these things consistently and repeatedly until they become your new beliefs," she adds. 

Grounding yourself in things you can control, even just one aspect of your goal, will provide you with more stability to move forward. And remember: Building confidence builds more confidence. By starting in the places you have control over, you can ensure that you build confidence from a place of inner strength.

Build a like-minded community around you.

Research suggests that our views of ourselves are usually inaccurate. Whether you underestimate or overestimate your abilities, you can't create a more accurate level of self-confidence in isolation. You need to interact with your environment, hobbies, and other people to build confidence.

Curating an intentional environment to develop your budding confidence is crucial. Share your experience with a few close friends who are on the same self-development journey. Find resources in your community like therapists, coaches, podcasts, blogs, and books to help build a foundation for your new confidence.

Take a break from social media.

A 2018 study published in Europe's Journal of Psychology found that people who have lower self-esteem tend to gravitate toward building a "false self" on social media 2 , which can lead to an inaccurate sense of self and self-worth. So consider taking a break from social media to reconnect with the person you truly are, free from comparisons and trying to impress others. 

Cultivate compassion.

Cultivating a sense of self-compassion can help you to sympathize with yourself when you experience difficulties in life. This can help you turn away from negative, demeaning self-talk and toward more loving, nurturing ways to talk to ourselves .

"Compassion is key in cultivating self-confidence," Eskandani says in an email interview. "Holding on to past 'mistakes' or 'failures' really affects how confident we are. If we can be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to let go of these moments, then we allow ourselves to trust ourselves." 

Find professional support

If building self-confidence has become a discouraging pursuit, it might be time to lean on professionals for some guidance.

"There are many ways to build self-confidence. One approach involves processing and uprooting the formative experiences that may have contributed to a negative sense of self. While this can be done through personal reflection and journaling, it can often be more effective when done in relationship with a safe support person such as a therapist," Shanmugavelayutham says.

The benefits of boosting your confidence. 

While it may feel unnatural and like a lot of work, there are plenty of benefits of building self-confidence, such as:

Building resilience to try new things

"Confidence is the life source for much of what we seek in life. It gives us the fuel we need to try new things and take risks," Shanmugavelayutham says. 

Better performance

Whether at work, in sports, or in personal endeavors, having confidence can help you accomplish tasks 3 with more ease and, therefore, success. "Confidence in one area can beget confidence in other areas," Shanmugavelayutham adds. "Confidence has even been proven to be a higher predictor of performance than competence!"

Creating the life you want

"When we don't believe in ourselves, we tend to take actions that actually create the exact outcome we're fearing," Cruz explains. "By boosting our self-confidence, we can take actions and create outcomes that better reflect the incredible power that's within us." 

Discerning other people's motives versus your own desires

In a study exploring the relationship between self-confidence and social interactions , economists note that, although many people tend to derive confidence from other people's compliments, other people benefit from your ability to produce. For example, a manager may praise your event-planning abilities because your efforts also make her job easier. You can be good at a lot of things, but with self-confidence, you'll be able to determine which things you want to become good at, not just build confidence in the things you get external praise for.

Making your own decisions according to your true self

When you're confident in yourself, Eskandani says, "you start making decisions that are in line with what you truly want. You listen less to the well-meaning advice around you telling you what you should do, and you start doing things that you truly want to do." 

The bottom line. 

While most of us are born with a healthy level of confidence, life throws us challenges that can derail our sense of confidence. However, reclaiming that self-confidence is possible and worth every effort for living a more fulfilling life.

• https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-019-1466-y
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6266525/
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02640410903089798

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Building Self Confidence and Personality Development

• by Refresh Science
• September 21, 2021 January 6, 2022

Self-confidence refers to a capability that one develops to have a good sense of self-esteem and believe more in yourself. It is not the type of capability to achieve in a short time but it requires a long time to progress to achieve self-confidence. Also, self-confidence may drop at a certain time, so it is important to protect and nurture what has built on you.

On the other hand, personality development is ongoing progress of developing skills as well as personality to reach maturity level. Self-confidence and personality development go hand in hand which means while you develop self-confidence then your personality will also develop. Here are some personality development tips to build your self-confidence.

How can we develop self-confidence?

Developing self-confidence is very important so that you can value yourself more and have solid self-esteem. There are lots of practices to help build self-confidence but first of all, you can start with love yourself. It is difficult to build self-confidence when you do not feel good and do not love yourself. Start with love yourself, be kind to yourself, and feel good about anything that you have. Talk to yourself about things that you like, life goals, and try to stay positive as much as you can. Stop comparing your life with others and focus on planning your life with all the strength that you have.

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What is self-confidence in personality development.

Self-confidence is like the core of personality development. This means one cannot build personality development when one does not have good self-confidence. In many aspects, self-confidence is the push button to believe in yourself. Many people are afraid of others or to do something and it limits their personality development.

How do you build confidence in personality development?

To build a strong personality, you need to build self-confidence in the first place. Only when you feel confident with yourself, you can develop a strong personality. So, what you can do to build self-confidence? People who are confident with themselves always get things done. This means to start building self-confidence by being productive and accomplish your everyday goals. Though it is not easy, try to monitor your progress and see how much you change in everyday activity.

Sometimes you feel overwhelmed with how big your dream goals are, but be fearless to achieve them. There is no place for fear when you want to be confident. A good way to avoid fear is to not bother with what others’ saying. Just get the things done and do not compare your progress with other people.

What is the importance of self-confidence in personality development?

People with good self-confidence feel happier, get motivated, are more productive, and are more grateful. This is all because they are comfortable with themselves and have clear future goals. When you have good self-confidence, you will also have the better mental strength and build a better relationships. All these conditions are required to build good personality development.

How does self-confidence relate to character development?

Self-confidence affects your actions in many ways. Those who lack self-confidence struggle in many aspects of life from the workplace, social life, to personal relationship. Lacking confidence also affects character development. It prevents you from becoming a better person and instead, forces you to become a negative person who lacks motivation and energy.

To develop a character, you need self-confidence. A good level of confidence changes your perspective, way of thinking, and also actions. While character trait is something you inherit, but you can always develop the character from a negative person to a positive one, from being unproductive to productive, and so on.

What type of skill is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is a personal development skill. Good self-confidence means you believe in your abilities, decisions, and actions. This is a basic skill you need to reach your goals and have a successful life. Many people fail to believe in themselves and that makes it difficult to reach the life goal.

What are self-confidence examples?

There are countless examples of self-confidence you can learn from famous people. One of the great examples is the story of Steve Jobs. We all know that he was fired from his very own company. However, instead of overthinking the matter, he went on to establish one of the most successful production houses, Pixar. This is all because he has a great amount of confidence to stand up once again after the failure and is even able to create another company which also as successful as the former company.

What are the factors that affect self-confidence?

Self-confidence is not something to build overnight. It is a lifetime process with a lot of influence factors. Society plays a huge contribution to one’s self-confidence. The ways you dress, speak, behave and even way of thinking are greatly influenced by the society around you. Besides society, the childhood moment also contributes to one’s self-confidence.

Other factors that also contribute in self-confidence is religions, media, family and friends, relationship, work environment, and also health.

Why do we need self-confidence?

Self-confidence is important to build your personal and career life. It convinces other people that you are capable of doing something. This is because people tend to trust others who radiate confidence within themselves. Also, having self-confidence makes you a positive person since you believe in yourself more.

10 things to boost your self-esteem

There are many techniques on how to build self-esteem. The key to building self-esteem is to take note of what makes you down and what you can do to change it. Here are the 10 things to boost self-esteem.

• Have positive attitude
• Get moving and be active
• Talk to a friend
• Doing something on a purpose
• Listen to your body
• Plan your everyday activity
• Make time for yourself
• Make a list of your goal
• Do not forget to have fun

Self-esteem therapy activities

Some people have a session with a therapist to help build self-esteem. But if you want to have a therapy that you can do-it-yourself at home, you can start with making a habit tracker. A habit tracker is the type of tracker or journal to monitor your everyday activities. This tracker helps you stay on track and be productive every day.

Self-confidence is something that we need to develop a positive personality and have better self-esteem. There are lots of factors that affect self-confidence and personal development. Develop self-confidence includes changing the way of thinking, how you behave and react to a certain situation, and so on.

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How to Build Self Confidence Before a Presentation

• November 1, 2023

Building self-confidence before a presentation is essential for delivering a successful and impactful talk. It not only helps in alleviating anxiety and nerves but also enables effective communication of the key message to the audience. This article will discuss several strategies that can be employed to boost self-confidence in preparation for any presentation.

One of the most crucial aspects of gaining self-confidence is thorough preparation. Researching the topic, gathering relevant information, and carefully structuring the presentation will help in feeling well-equipped to address the subject matter.

In addition, practicing the speech multiple times will contribute to a greater sense of familiarity and comfort with the content, instilling self-assurance to smoothly deliver the presentation.

Incorporating techniques like positive self-talk, adjusting body language and posture, and focusing on breath can significantly impact the level of confidence one exudes during the presentation. Embracing these practices in the run-up to the event can gradually enhance the sense of self-belief and reinforce the readiness to confidently face the audience.

Overall, implementing these self-confidence boosting strategies will greatly improve the quality and effectiveness of any presentation.

Understanding Self-Confidence

Definition of self-confidence.

Self-confidence is the belief in one’s own abilities and decisions. It is the sense of assurance that comes from having faith in our competence and skills. This belief can be built through experience, practice, and reflection. Self-confidence is not a constant state; it may fluctuate depending on the context and circumstances.

However, a healthy level of self-confidence enables individuals to approach challenges with a positive attitude and resilience.

Importance of Self-Confidence in Presentations

In the context of presentations, self-confidence plays a vital role in the success and effectiveness of the speaker. Being confident allows presenters to:

• Engage their audience: A confident speaker can draw listeners in, piquing their interest and creating a connection with them. The more engaged the audience is, the more they are likely to retain information and remember the core messages.
• Communicate effectively: Confidence helps presenters articulate their ideas clearly and fluently, making it easier for the audience to understand and follow their points. It also helps in maintaining a natural and conversational tone, preventing monotony and losing audience attention.
• Handle unexpected situations: From technical glitches to challenging questions, unexpected situations are inevitable during presentations. A confident speaker can adapt and handle these situations with grace and poise, ensuring the flow remains unbroken and the audience remains engaged.
• Project credibility: Confidence demonstrates expertise and preparation in the subject matter, making the presenter appear more credible and knowledgeable. This can increase the audience’s trust in the information being shared.

Building self-confidence before a presentation can be achieved through thorough preparation, practising the delivery, and fostering a positive mindset. Various tips and techniques, such as listening to empowering music and creating a strong opening, can aid in enhancing self-confidence for successful presentations.

Preparation Strategies

Researching your topic.

A crucial step in building self-confidence before a presentation is to research your topic thoroughly. Dive into relevant literature, journals, and online resources to gather all the necessary information, data, and insights. Ensure you have a comprehensive understanding of the subject matter, as this will help you feel more confident and credible when speaking.

Organising Your Content

Once you have the information, it’s essential to organise your content effectively.

Structuring your presentation with a clear beginning, middle, and end allows for a logical and coherent delivery, making it easier for your audience to follow and understand. Consider using the following approach:

• Introduction : Capture your audience’s attention with a strong opening. Introduce the topic, outline the scope of your presentation, and provide an overview of your objectives.
• Main Points : Present key insights and data in a meaningful way. Divide your content into subsections that address specific aspects of your topic, using clear headings and concise explanations. Utilise visuals, such as charts and graphs, to support your points and present data effectively.
• Conclusion : Summarise and reinforce key takeaways. Review your main points, discuss any implications or future considerations, and conclude with a call-to-action or final thought.

Rehearsing Your Presentation

The importance of rehearsing your presentation cannot be overstated. Repeated practice helps you become more familiar with your content, making it easier to deliver confidently and coherently. When rehearsing, focus on the following areas:

• Delivery : Pay attention to your tone of voice, pacing, and enunciation. Speak clearly and articulate your words, ensuring everyone in the audience can hear and understand you.
• Body Language : Use positive body language to convey confidence and engagement. Maintain eye contact, use gestures to emphasise points, and maintain an open posture.
• Time Management : Keep track of time and pace your presentation accordingly. Be aware of any time constraints and adjust your content to ensure you cover all the necessary points within the allotted time.

By implementing these research, organisation, and rehearsal strategies, presenters can build self-confidence and be fully prepared to deliver an engaging and informative presentation.

Mental Preparation

Positive self-talk.

One of the essential steps in improving self-confidence before a presentation is engaging in positive self-talk. It’s crucial that an individual continuously reassures themselves and focuses on their abilities and strengths, rather than dwelling on past negative experiences or potential failures. The power of positive self-talk cannot be underestimated, as it can greatly contribute to a person’s belief in their own capabilities and success.

• Remind yourself of past successes
• Focus on your strengths, expertise, and knowledge
• Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations

Visualisation Techniques

Visualisation is another helpful mental preparation technique that can improve self-confidence. It involves imagining oneself delivering the presentation successfully, with a positive outcome. This process helps the brain to create a ‘blueprint’ of the desired performance, which can lead to increased feelings of confidence and competence. Several visualisation techniques exist. Some examples are:

• Creating a vivid mental image of a successful presentation
• Rehearsing the presentation in your mind
• Imagining yourself overcoming any obstacles or challenges

Managing Presentation Anxiety

Managing presentation anxiety is fundamental in boosting self-confidence. Nervousness can negatively impact a person’s performance and ability to convey information effectively. Implementing stress-relief mechanisms can significantly help individuals to stay calm and focused.

Some practical ways to manage presentation anxiety include:

• Breathing exercises: Slow, deep breaths help to calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety
• Progressive muscle relaxation: Consciously relaxing each muscle group in the body can help release tension
• Mindfulness meditation: Focusing on the present moment and detaching from negative thoughts can help reduce stress

By integrating positive self-talk, visualisation techniques, and presentation anxiety management into their mental preparation, individuals can significantly increase their confidence and effectiveness in delivering presentations.

Physical Preparation

Dress for success.

A crucial aspect of building self-confidence before a presentation is ensuring you are dressed appropriately. Wearing clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable can have a significant impact on your overall performance.

Choose an outfit that is professional, fits well, and aligns with the event’s dress code. It’s also essential to pay attention to small details, such as well-polished shoes, neat hair, and minimalistic accessories. Dressing for success has the power to boost your confidence and make a lasting impression on your audience.

Warm-Up Exercises

Before your presentation, it’s essential to engage in some warm-up exercises to increase your energy levels and relieve any tension. Consider doing light stretching, breathing exercises, or even quick meditation to help calm your nerves.

Practising vocal exercises can also help, as they improve your diction, voice projection, and overall speaking abilities.

Some helpful warm-up exercises include:

• Breathing exercises : Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth to regulate your breathing and centre yourself.
• Stretching exercises : Stretch your neck, arms, and shoulders to loosen up your tense muscles and improve your posture.
• Vocal exercises : Practise tongue twisters and repeat vowel sounds to help articulate your words more clearly during your presentation.

Proper Nutrition

Eating a well-balanced meal before your presentation can provide you with the energy and mental clarity needed to perform at your best. Stick to foods high in protein and healthy fats, as they help boost brain function and promote focus. Avoid consuming excessive caffeine, sugar, or heavy meals, as they can cause energy crashes or gastrointestinal discomfort.

Some examples of nutritious pre-presentation meals might consist of:

• A lean protein, such as grilled chicken or tofu, paired with a portion of whole grains and vegetables.
• A smoothie made with fruits, leafy greens, and a protein source (e.g., Greek yoghurt or almond butter).
• A salad with mixed greens, fresh vegetables, and a protein source, such as chickpeas or grilled salmon.

Incorporating these physical preparations into your routine before a presentation can significantly enhance your self-confidence, resulting in a more successful and engaging delivery.

During the Presentation

Engaging the audience.

An effective presentation involves not just sharing information but also engaging the audience. To achieve this, presenters should make eye contact, use stories or examples that relate to the audience, and ask questions to encourage interaction.

• Eye contact: Distribute your gaze throughout the audience rather than focusing on one person or spot in the room.
• Relatable stories: Share anecdotes or situations that audience members can identify with, enhancing your message’s relevance.
• Asking questions: This tactic encourages the audience to think actively about your topic and makes them feel involved in the conversation.

Effective Use of Visual Aids

Visual aids can improve the clarity of your presentation and help maintain audience interest. To make the most of visual aids, follow these guidelines:

• Simplicity: Keep your slides clear and concise. Avoid cluttering them with excessive text or images.
• Readability: Choose a font size and style that can be easily read from a distance and select contrasting colours for background and text.
• Relevance: Only include visuals that directly support your message and enhance the audience’s understanding.

Handling Questions Confidently

Responding to audience questions with confidence is crucial for a successful presentation. To handle questions confidently, try these tips:

• Silence: Don’t rush your response. Take a moment to gather your thoughts before answering.
• Repeat the question: This gives you a chance to ensure you understand the question, and it helps the audience, who may not have heard it clearly.
• There is no shame in not knowing: If you cannot answer a question, admit it. Offer to find out the answer and follow up with the person later. It is better to be honest than bluffing.

Incorporating these techniques during your presentation will help build self-confidence and ensure your message is conveyed effectively.

Post-Presentation Reflection

Self-assessment.

Following a presentation, it’s essential for a presenter to evaluate their performance. Start by reflecting on your presentation, noting aspects that went well and areas that need improvement. Consider factors such as audience engagement, clarity of speech, and effectiveness of visual aids. Creating a table is a helpful way to organise your self-assessment:

Feedback Collection

It’s crucial to collect feedback from your audience, as it can provide insightful perspectives on your presentation style and content. Encourage participants to complete a brief survey or have a one-on-one discussion. Analyse the feedback, and identify patterns or suggestions that can help enhance future presentations. For example, you could ask questions like:

• Did the presenter maintain eye contact?
• Was the content clear and engaging?
• Did the presenter use confident body language?

Continuous Improvement

Incorporate the self-assessed strengths and areas of improvement, along with collected feedback, to continually enhance your presentation skills. This process involves creating objectives for your next presentation, focusing on your identified areas of improvement. For instance, you may want to work on reducing filler words, increasing audience engagement, or improving your slide design.

Additionally, seeking resources for skill development, such as advanced presentation courses or workshops, can be valuable for improvement. Remember that confidence in presentations stems from the continuous refining of your skills and learning from each experience.

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Building Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence: Concepts and Strategies

Oct 26, 2023

190 likes | 197 Views

Learn about the importance of self-esteem and self-confidence, the symptoms of high self-esteem, childhood experiences that shape self-esteem, and ways to enhance self-esteem and self-confidence.

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• selfconfidence
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Presentation Transcript

CHAPTER 3 BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE

INTRODUCTORY CONCEPTS • Self-Esteem is the overall evaluation people make of themselves, positive or negative. • The self-concept is what we think about ourselves. • Self-esteem is what we feel about ourselves. • Positive self-esteem leads to a positive self-concept

EIGHT SYMPTOMS OF SELF-ESTEEM (from Self-Esteem Checklist) • Excitement about starting each day • Self-confidence for new assignments • Working up to potential • Tolerating negative feedback • Emotional lift from hard work • Accepting sincerity of compliments • Able to compliment others • Can face up to mistakes

HOW SELF-ESTEEM DEVELOPS • Evolves based on interactions with people. • Early-life encouragement is helpful. • Genuine accomplishment followed by praise and recognition is important. • Leadership that encourages self-rewards can bolster self-esteem.

SEQUENCE OF EVENTS FOR DEVELOPING SELF-ESTEEM Social science research suggests this sequence: Person establishes a goal person pursues the goal person achieves the goal person develops esteem-like feelings. • Note carefully that esteem-like feelings result from goal accomplishment, not the reverse.

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES LEADING TO HIGH SELF-ESTEEM • Being praised • Being listened to • Being spoken to respectfully • Getting attention and hugs • Experiencing success in sports or school • Doing well, then receiving credit

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES LELADING TO LOW SELF-ESTEEM • Being harshly criticized • Being yelled at or beaten • Being ignored, ridiculed or teased • Being expected to be always “perfect” • Many failure experiences in sports or school • Messages that failed experiences were failures of whole self

CONSEQUENCES OF SELF-ESTEEM • Good mental health (situations may seem less stressful) • Favorable work attitudes and high performance. • High self-esteem workers help company prosper. • Possible negative consequences including undermining others and envy.

EXTERNAL VS. INTERNAL SOURCES OF SELF-ESTEEM • When based on external sources, students reported more stress, anger, academic problems, interpersonal problems, drug and alcohol problems, and eating disorders. • When based on internal sources, students received higher grades, and were less likely to use alcohol or drugs, or have eating disorders.

ENHANCING SELF-ESTEEM • Attain legitimate accomplishments. • Be aware of personal strengths (begin with a list of strengths). • Rebut the inner critic (the negative voice inside you). • Practice self-nurturing (treat yourself). • Minimize settings and interactions that detract from your feeling competent.

ENHANCING SELF-ESTEEM, continued • Get help from others (e.g., ask friends what they think of you). • Model the behavior of people with high self-esteem (especially people you know personally) • Create a high self-esteem living space (one that honors the person you are).

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SELF-EFFICACY • Self-efficacy is confidence in your ability to carry out a specific task. Leads to good job performance. • Self-confident people set relatively high goals for themselves. • Self-confidence contributes to leadership effectiveness. • Positive thinking helps attain goals.

SOURCES OF FEELINGS OF SELF-CONFIDENCE • Actual experience (things done) • Experience of others (modeling) • Social comparison (comparing self to others) • Social persuasion (convincing another person) • Emotional arousal (sensations)

DEVELOPING AND ENHANCING SELF-CONFIDENCE • Develop a solid knowledge base. • Use positive self-talk. (Programs the mind with positive messages.) • Avoid negative self-talk (e.g., “I may be stupid but….” • Use positive visual imagery (imagine a positive outcome).

DEVELOPING AND ENHANCING SELF-CONFIDENCE, continued • Set high expectations for yourself (the Galeta Effect or self-fulfilling prophecy). • Develop the explanatory style of optimists (problems are temporary). • Strive for peak performance (achieve flow or get in the zone ).

DEVELOPING AND ENHANCING SELF-CONFIDENCE, continued • Bounce back from setbacks and embarrassments (be resilient). • Get past the emotional turmoil. • Do not take the setback personally. • Do not panic. • Get help from your support network. • Find a creative solution to problem.

Positive Self-Talk • Objectively state incident about self-worth. • Interpret what incident does not mean. • Interpret what incident does mean. • Account for cause of incident. • State how to prevent incident from happening again. • Now, use positive self-talk.

AVOIDING NEGATIVESELF-TALK • Low self-confidence is reflected in statements, such as: “I may be stupid but…” “I know I’m usually wrong but…” • Do not use negative self-labels, such as: “idiotic,” “ugly,” “dull,” “loser,” and “hopeless.” • Negative self-labeling damages self-confidence.

Dr. Denis Waitley says… Although we are always seeking improvement, the real winner’s edge in self-esteem is reached when the individual can accept himself or herself just as he or she is at this moment. Since the perfect human has not been discovered, we all need to live with our hang-ups and idiosyncrasies—until they can be ironed out. One of the most important aspects of self-esteem that accounts for successful, dynamic living is that of self-acceptance.

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