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Modern Love

25 Modern Love Essays to Read if You Want to Laugh, Cringe and Cry

The popular column, which began in 2004, has become a podcast, a book and an Amazon Prime streaming series. Here are some of its greatest hits.

By Daniel Jones

Whether you’re new to Modern Love or a longtime fan, we think you’ll enjoy this collection of some of our most memorable essays. You’ll find some of our most read and most shared of all time, and others that really got readers talking (and tweeting, and sharing). We present, in no particular order, the quirky, the profound, the head scratching and the heartbreaking. (A handful of these essays and dozens more of our most memorable columns can also be found in the Modern Love anthology .)

To keep up on all things Modern Love — our weekly essays, podcast episodes and batches of Tiny Love Stories, along with other relationship-based reads from The Times — sign up for Love Letter , a weekly email. And check out the “Modern Love” television series , based on this column, on Amazon Prime Video.

1. No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage

By Laura Pritchett

After her peaceful marriage quietly dissolves, a woman comes to appreciate the vitality of conflict and confrontation.

2. Sometimes, It’s Not You, or the Math

By Sara Eckel

He didn’t care that I was 39 and hadn’t had a serious boyfriend in eight years.

3. Am I Gay or Straight? Maybe This Fun Quiz Will Tell Me

By Katie Heaney

A young woman seeks answers to her sexual orientation online, where the endless quizzes she takes deliver whatever label she wants.

4. First I Met My Children. Then My Girlfriend. They’re Related.

By Aaron Long

A former sperm donor, searching online, finds both offspring and love. 

5. What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage

By Amy Sutherland

I wanted — needed — to nudge my husband a little closer to perfect.

6. The 12-Hour Goodbye That Started Everything

By Miriam Johnson

A spurned woman confronts the question: When you lose love, should you even try to get over it?

7. During a Night of Casual Sex, Urgent Messages Go Unanswered

By Andrew Rannells

On one of the most consequential evenings of his life, a young man still finding himself wishes he had picked up the phone.

8. Let’s Meet Again in Five Years

By Karen B. Kaplan

They thought college was too soon for lifelong love, so they scheduled their next date for a little later — 60 months.

9. My Body Doesn’t Belong to You

By Heather Burtman

A young woman who finds herself being catcalled, followed and grabbed at wonders why some men seem to think a female body is public property.

10. Making a Marriage Magically Tidy

By Helen Ellis

At her husband’s suggestion (and with the wisdom of Marie Kondo), a recovering slob discovers the sexiness of cleanliness.

11. Loved and Lost? It’s O.K., Especially if You Win

By Veronica Chambers

It’s O.K. to fall deeply for one loser after another. It’s O.K. to show up at a guy’s house with a dozen roses and declare your undying affection.

12. To Stay Married, Embrace Change

By Ada Calhoun

It’s unrealistic to expect your spouse to forever remain the same person you fell in love with.

13. After 264 Haircuts, a Marriage Ends

By William Dameron

He acknowledged he was gay and left his wife, but he kept returning home for their monthly ritual.

14. In the Waiting Room of Estranged Spouses

By Benjamin Hertwig

An ex-soldier, rocked by infidelity, finds hope in a chance meeting with a mother and her young son.

15. What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

By Karin Jones

A divorced woman seeking no-strings-attached liaisons learns a sobering lesson about men and marriage.

16. Sharing a Cab, and My Toes

By Julia Anne Miller

During a taxi ride home a co-worker makes a surprising request.

17. On Tinder, Off Sex

By Ali Rachel Pearl

Living a life where secondary abstinence isn’t exactly a first choice.

18. No Labels, No Drama, Right?

By Jordana Narin

The winner of the 2015 Modern Love college essay contest, who was then a sophomore at Columbia University, writes about her generation’s reluctance to define relationships.

19. Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear

By Laura A. Munson

“I don’t love you anymore,” my husband said, but I survived the sucker punch.

20. You May Want to Marry My Husband

By Amy Krouse Rosenthal

After learning she doesn’t have long to live, a woman composes a dating profile for the man she will leave behind.

21. Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy

By David Finch

A man learns to deal with Asperger’s syndrome, with the help of his wife.

22. My Husband Is Now My Wife

By Diane Daniel

He took the first step in becoming a woman: surgery to help his face look more feminine.

23. Would My Heart Outrun Its Pursuer?

By Gary Presley

How might a woman love the millstone I believed myself to be?

24. When Eve and Eve Bit the Apple

By Kristen Scharold

A Christian woman’s identity is challenged by her love for church and another woman.

25. To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

By Mandy Len Catron

What happens if you decide that falling in love is not something that happens to you, but something that you do?

Daniel Jones is the editor of Modern Love.

Modern Love can be reached at [email protected] .

Want more? Watch the trailer for the Modern Love TV show ; read past Modern Love columns and Tiny Love Stories ; listen to the Modern Love Podcast on iTunes , Spotify or Google Play Music ; check out the updated anthology “ Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption ;” and follow Modern Love on Facebook .

Stories of Love to Nourish Your Soul

After the Affair, the Reckoning:  While a mother takes care of her new baby, her husband takes up with another woman .

This Is Not the Relationship I Ordered:   Divorce leaves a woman with a surprising realization  about who has been the love of her life.

My Husband Is Two Years Older Than My Son:  A woman’s 19-year marital age gap feels treacherous — and is the best thing that’s ever happened to her .

Please Stay, Baby. Please?: The grief of miscarriage is largely invisible. And with each loss, the longing multiplies .

My Bad-Times-Only Boyfriend: Why is a woman’s long-ago fling suddenly acting as if he’s her husband ?

A Family Dinner With My Wife and Girlfriend: Learning to love two women at once  — one living with Alzheimer’s — is a challenge and a blessing.

Our Last, Impossible Conversation: Artificial intelligence gives a widow another chance to talk to her long-lost husband .

Feb 20, 2023

250-500 Word Example Essays About Love and Romance

Got an Essay assignment about Love and Romance? Let us help you out with these inspiring Examples!

Love, an emotion that has captivated the hearts and minds of poets, authors, and artists throughout history, remains a profound and multi-faceted subject. While the depth and complexity of this emotion can make it a daunting topic to explore in an essay, the right resources can turn this challenge into a rewarding endeavor. For those looking to capture the essence of love and romance in their writing, our essay writer can be a beacon of inspiration and assistance. This tool, powered by Jenni.ai, offers a seamless journey through the essay-writing process, from brainstorming ideas to refining the final draft. 

Whether you're delving into argumentative, persuasive , or reflective essays about love, Jenni.ai ensures clarity, coherence, and a touch of elegance in your prose. It's a trusted companion for students, educators, and seasoned writers alike, simplifying the writing journey every step of the way.

1. The Evolution of Love: A Study of the Changing Nature of Romance throughout History

Introduction.

Love is one of humanity's most complicated and mysterious emotions. People have strived to comprehend and define Love throughout history, resulting in many works of literature, art, and music dedicated to the subject. Despite its universal appeal, the nature of Love has evolved significantly throughout time, reflecting evolving cultural, social, and economic situations. In this essay, we will look at the evolution of Love, from ancient times to the present.

Ancient Love

A. Greek and Roman Love

Love was viewed as a complex and varied feeling in ancient Greece and Rome, comprising characteristics of desire, friendship, and awe. Love was frequently represented as a tremendous force in ancient civilizations, capable of both propelling individuals to high heights of success and bringing them down into the depths of sorrow. This was especially true of romantic Love, which was glorified in epic poems like the Iliad and Odyssey , as well as works of art and literature depicting the hardships and sufferings of star-crossed lovers.

B. Medieval Love

A chivalric code known as courtly Love emerged in medieval Europe. Its core tenants were the importance of Love, honour, and devotion. During this time, romantic Love was typically portrayed as an unrequited emotion, with the lover pining for the affections of a faraway and unreachable beloved. Medieval poets and troubadours mirrored this romanticised picture of Love in their works by singing and writing about the highs and lows of passionate Love.

Modern Love

A. The Renaissance

The idealized picture of Love that had ruled for centuries was called into question by artists and intellectuals during the Renaissance, marking a turning point in the development of romantic relationships. During this time, romantic Love was portrayed as more tactile and visceral. Shakespeare, for instance, reflected the shifting beliefs of his day by exploring the nuanced and often tragic nature of Love in his works.

B. The Enlightenment

The concepts of reason and individuality began to gain root during the Enlightenment, and with that came a shift in how people saw Love. Political marriages and alliances were often formed based on Love, which was now considered a more sensible and practical feeling. Thinkers from the Enlightenment period, including Voltaire and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, shared this perspective on Love as a tool for bettering society and the individual.

C. The Modern Era

Today, the word "love" is most often used to describe a feeling one has when they are in a committed relationship or when one has achieved their own goals. Love has become a consumable good thanks to the spread of consumerism and the worship of the individual. The media and arts reflect this conception of Love by depicting it as a means to one's fulfillment and contentment.

The changing cultural, social, and economic conditions of each historical epoch are reflected in the history of Love. The essence of Love has changed dramatically throughout the years, from its idealised image in ancient Greece and Rome to its depiction as a spiritual tie in mediaeval Europe to its current identification with romantic relationships and personal fulfilment. Despite these changes, Love remains a strong and enduring force in human existence, inspiring numerous works of art, literature, and music and affecting how we live and interact with one another.

2. The Power of Love: Examining the Impact of Love on Our Lives and Relationships

Love is a strong feeling that may dramatically alter our life and the bonds we form with others. love, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, can unite us and improve our lives in countless ways., the benefits of love.

A. Improved Physical Health

Love has been demonstrated to improve physical health by decreasing stress, lowering blood pressure, and increasing immunity. The hormone oxytocin, which is released in response to social bonding and has been demonstrated to reduce physiological responses to stress, is thought to be at play here.

B. Enhanced Mental Health

In addition to its physical benefits, Love has been shown to have a beneficial effect on our mental health, lowering stress and anxiety levels and boosting our general sense of happiness. The protective powers of Love against the negative consequences of stress and other difficulties in life are well accepted.

C. Strengthened Relationships

A stronger tie may be formed between two people via the power of Love. Relationships of all kinds, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, may benefit from the strengthening effects of Love by increasing their levels of closeness, trust, and mutual understanding.

The Challenges of Love

A. Love can be painful

Sometimes Love hurts, as when a relationship ends or when we can't find the one we're looking for. One of life's most trying events is losing someone we care about, which may leave us feeling isolated, discouraged, and empty.

The Power of Love to Overcome Challenges

Despite these difficulties, Love may help us overcome them and grow closer to one another. The strength of Love is that it may help us learn and grow, both as people and as a community, via its many forms, such as forgiveness, compromise, and the willingness to persevere through adversity.

Finally, Love is a strong and transformational force that may profoundly influence our lives and relationships. Love may provide us joy, comfort, and a feeling of purpose, whether between friends, family, or romantic partners. Despite its numerous advantages, Love may also bring with it difficulties such as heartbreak and strife. Nonetheless, never underestimate the power of Love. 

It has the potential to draw people together and form deep, long-lasting bonds. Love has the power to make the world a better place, whether through acts of kindness, selflessness, or simply being there for one another. So, let us embrace Love in all of its manifestations and harness its potential to improve our lives and the lives of those around us.

3. The Science of Love: Understanding the Biology and Psychology Behind Love and Attraction

For millennia, people have been drawn and intrigued by the intricate and intriguing feeling of Love. Despite its enormous global significance, the science of Love is now being thoroughly investigated. This paper will investigate the biology and psychology of Love and attraction, delving into the different elements that impact these powerful emotions and how they form our relationships.

The Biology of Love

A. Hormone Function

Love is a biological process controlled by chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. These hormones influence our sensations of attraction, enthusiasm, and enjoyment and boost sentiments of trust and closeness.

B. The Influence of Genetics

Genetics also has an impact on Love and attraction, with some personality qualities and physical characteristics that are considered to be appealing to potential spouses being handed down from generation to generation. This suggests that particular preferences for specific sorts of people are hardwired into our genetics, influencing our romantic and sexual attraction patterns.

The Psychology of Love

A. The Role of Attachment Styles

Our attachment types, which we acquire from our early connections with our caretakers, also affect our Love. These attachment types can significantly influence our later relationships, influencing how we build and keep deep attachments with others.

B. The Impact of Social Norms and Values

Cultural Values

Social conventions and cultural ideas also impact Love and attraction, with societal expectations and values impacting our romantic and sexual impulses. These social conventions and cultural ideas influence everything from who we are attracted to and how we approach and pursue relationships.

The Meeting of Biology and

Love Psychology

The biology and psychology of Love are inextricably linked and interdependent, with one having a complicated and subtle impact on the other. This suggests that, while biology influences our sentiments of attraction and Love, our psychological experiences and beliefs may equally shape these emotions.

To summarise, love science is a complicated and intriguing discipline that encompasses the biology and psychology of this strong and transformational emotion. By investigating the elements that impact Love and attraction, we may gain a deeper understanding of the systems that underpin these feelings and how they shape our lives and relationships. The study of Love is a vital and beneficial effort, whether we seek Love, attempt to preserve Love, or wonder about the science underlying this feeling.

4. The Fine Line Between Love and Obsession: Exploring the Dark Side of Love

Love is a powerful and transformative emotion that can bring immense joy and fulfilment to our lives. But Love can also turn dark and dangerous when it crosses the line into obsession. This essay will examine the fine line between Love and obsession, exploring how Love can become unhealthy and dangerous.

The Characteristics of Obsessive Love

A. Unhealthy Attachment

Obsessive Love is characterized by an unhealthy attachment to another person, with the obsessed person becoming overly dependent on their partner for emotional fulfilment. This can lead to feelings of possessiveness and jealousy, as well as a need for constant attention and validation.

B. Control and Manipulation

Obsessive Love can also involve control and manipulation, with the obsessed person trying to control every aspect of their partner's life and behaviour. This can range from minor acts of manipulation, such as trying to dictate what their partner wears or who they spend time with, to more serious forms of control, such as physical abuse or stalking.

The Dark Side of Love

A. Stalking and Harassment

The dark side of Love can take many forms, with stalking and harassment being among the most extreme and dangerous forms of obsessive behaviour. Stalking and harassment can have serious and long-lasting consequences for the victim, causing fear, stress, and trauma that can impact their mental and physical well-being.

B. Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is another form of the dark side of Love, with physical, sexual, and psychological abuse being used as a means of control and domination. Domestic violence can have devastating consequences for the victim, often leading to serious injury or even death.

The Roots of Obsessive Love

A. Psychological Issues

Obsessive Love can have its roots in psychological issues, including depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. These conditions can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem, making it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships.

B. Cultural and Social Factors

Cultural and social factors can also play a role in the development of obsessive Love, with certain societal beliefs and norms promoting possessiveness and control in relationships. This can include gender roles, expectations, and cultural beliefs about Love and relationships.

In conclusion, the fine line between Love and obsession is delicate and dangerous, with Love crossing over into unhealthy and dangerous territory when it becomes obsessive. By understanding the characteristics of obsessive Love and how it can take dark and dangerous forms, we can better protect ourselves and our loved ones from the negative consequences of this powerful emotion.

5. The Concept of Unconditional Love: An Analysis of the Ideal of Selfless Love

All kinds of different things count as Love since it's such a complicated and diverse feeling. Unconditional Love is frequently depicted as altruistic, all-encompassing, and unshakable, making it one of the most romanticized types. In this essay, I'd discuss the idea of unconditional Love, defining it and contrasting it with other types of affection.

An Explanation of Selfless Love

A. Selfless Love

The term "unconditional love" is commonly used to describe a type of Love that puts the other person's needs before its own. In this kind of Love, one person cares for another without any thought of return or compensation.

B. Love that encompasses everything

Many people use the term "all-encompassing" to express how unconditional Love embraces a person regardless of who they are or what they've done in their lives. A love like this doesn't depend on the other person changing or improving in any way; rather, it's an unconditional embrace of the person as they are.

The Ideal of Unconditional Love

A. Love Without Conditions

Unconditional Love is a romantic ideal in which the lover places no restrictions on the object of his affection. Since it involves so much giving of oneself, this kind of Love is typically held up as the pinnacle of romantic relationships.

B. Putting the Feeling into Action

However, since we are all flawed human beings, practising unconditional Love can be challenging in daily life. Although this may be the case, the ideal of unconditional Love is still significant since it motivates us to improve our Love and compassion towards others.

The Advantages of Unconditional Love

A. Stronger Connections

Unconditional Love has the potential to improve our connections with others, leading to deeper and more meaningful bonds. This kind of Love creates a non-judgmental and welcoming attitude towards people, which can assist to lessen conflict and improve understanding.

B. More Joy and Satisfaction

As a result of the more profound relationships it fosters, unconditional Love may also increase a person's sense of well-being and contentment. Finding Love like this may give our life new meaning and make us feel whole.

In conclusion, many of us hold unconditional Love as a relationship goal. Even if it's not always possible, the ideal of unconditional Love is worthwhile since it motivates us to increase our Love and compassion. The concept of unconditional Love may lead us to a more meaningful and happy lifestyle, whether our goal is to better our relationships or to find more pleasure and contentment in general.

6. The Importance of Communication in Love Relationships: A Study of the Role of Communication in Maintaining Love

Love relationships, like all others, benefit greatly from open lines of communication between partners. Connecting with one another on a regular basis, whether it's to chat about the day, express emotions, or problem-solve, is crucial to keeping the Love alive between you. This essay will discuss the significance of communication in romantic relationships, specifically how it helps couples stay together and grow closer over time.

Advantages of good communication

Increased Compatibility and Mutual Understanding

Love partnerships benefit significantly from open lines of communication that facilitate mutual understanding and closeness. Sharing our innermost ideas, emotions, and experiences with our partners via direct and honest communication strengthens our bonds with them.

Reduced Conflict

As we can better address difficulties and find positive solutions to differences when communicating effectively, we experience less conflict in our relationships. Relationships may be stronger and more loving by talking through differences and finding common ground.

The Difficulties in Expressing Your Feelings in a Romantic Relationship

A. Confusing Messages and Confused Intents

Good communication can sometimes be difficult, especially in romantic partnerships, despite its many advantages. Conflict, anger and a lack of trust may all result from poor communication and misunderstandings in relationships.

B. Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

Likewise, it takes courage and trust to open up and talk about your feelings with the person you love. It may be nerve-wracking to communicate our innermost thoughts and feelings with a partner because of the risk of being judged harshly or rejected.

The Importance of Active Listening

What is Active Listening?

Maintaining positive connections with others requires not just good talkers but also good listeners. Paying close attention to the other person as they speak and making an effort to get their viewpoint and requirements is an essential component of active listening.

The Benefits of Active Listening

The ability to listen attentively and process information can have a significant influence on interpersonal bonds. You may show your spouse how much you value their opinion and the commitment you have to the relationship by listening attentively to what they have to say.

Finally, it's important to note that communication is a cornerstone of successful, loving partnerships. Communication is crucial for developing and maintaining healthy relationships , whether it is via problem-solving, venting, or just listening. Your relationship may grow stronger and become more rewarding and loving if you put an emphasis on communicating well with one another.

Final Words

Love is a complicated and varied theme that has inspired numerous works of art, literature, and music. Whether it is the science of Love, the power of Love, or the development of Love, there is a great deal to learn and comprehend about this universal feeling. 

Students now have access to a potent tool that may assist them in writing essays about Love with ease and assurance thanks to Jenni.ai. From giving ideas and recommendations to leading you through the writing process, Jenni.ai is the ideal option for anyone who wants to write about Love and relationships. Why then wait? Sign up for a free trial of Jenni.ai today and explore its numerous writing perks!

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Free Romantic Relationship Essay Examples & Topics

A relationship is a connection between two or more people. Relationships vary in nature and can be positive, negative, platonic, intimate, etc. That is to say, there are numerous types of relationships. Yet, four basic ones are generally recognized in society. You’re likely to be familiar with acquaintanceships, friendships, romantic and family relationships.

Typically, “being in a relationship” refers to a romantic connection between two people. This kind of love is an emotional attachment between individuals, with passion being just one of the prominent features. Romantic relationships involve both spiritual and physical intimacy, commitment, and trust.

In your romantic relationship essay, you can explore this phenomenon using fictional characters from literature or movies. You also have the opportunity to ponder upon the concept of love, its different types and manifestations or analyze your relationships. In this article, our team collected tips that will be useful for writing such a paper. In addition, you will find romantic essay examples and topics on this page.

Romantic Relationship Essay Tips

Your essay about a romantic relationship will depend on the assignment you receive. Besides argumentative and persuasive papers, you may be asked to write reflective or analytical work. Regardless of the essay type, they all have the same basic academic structure. So, here we’ll explain how to start and end this task.

The following aspects will be suitable for argumentative essays about a romantic relationship:

• A catchy hook. Come up with a creative way to grab your readers’ attention from the very first sentence. Ask a question, use a metaphor, or include a quote. You can even provide statistics – use any method to ensure your audience is captivated.
• Some context. The introduction is the place to familiarize your audience with your topic. Provide a general background that will give some context to the rest of your essay. This is also the place to clarify any terms unfamiliar to your readers.
• Thesis statement. Write a sentence that will reflect the main point you are trying to make. A strong thesis statement should guide your readers through your essay. Include the key argument that you will develop in the body of your paper.
• Arguments & supporting evidence. In the main body, develop each key point separately. Here, each paragraph should include a topic sentence, supporting details, and examples. Make sure your arguments are backed up by solid evidence. We recommend you use only trustworthy sources of information (academic articles, official websites with the domain .gov, .edu, etc.).
• Short summary and restatement. In your conclusion, summarize the key points and restate your thesis statement. Do not add any new arguments, facts, or details. The conclusion is the place to review your findings and propose further areas for study.
• A concluding sentence. The key to successful essay writing is a solid and dynamic concluding sentence. It must provide a sense of closure and open space for further study. Spend some time drafting up the perfect last sentence of your essay.

14 Topics about Romantic Relationships

Any successful romantic love essay requires an appropriate topic. Unfortunately, they can be hard to find, especially regarding such a sensitive subject. We created a list of unique ideas to explore and consider in this section. You can also try out our title generator. It will propose even more topics about romantic relationships.

• Factors affecting attractions towards other people during teenage years.
• The role of meaningful conversations in maintaining a healthy relationship between partners.
• The “ideal” boyfriend and girlfriend: fake portrayals of romantic love on social media.
• How can love letters improve the romantic relationship between partners in the digital era?
• Romeo and Juliet as an example of enduring love, commitment, and passion.
• The main principles of interpersonal communication used in conflict resolution.
• Similarities and differences in love expression between adolescents and grownups.
• How may the poor basis for interpersonal relationships affect marriage in the long run?
• Unrequired love among teenagers. What are the threats of experiencing it at a young age?
• What is romantic love? How do you distinguish it from a short-term crush?
• The major stages of relationship development.
• What are some major takeaways about love that we can get from the literature of the Romanic Era?
• How can you be more romantic and maintain passion after long years of married life?
• My ideal love story: the model of romantic relationship I would like to have in my life.

Thank you for your attention! Below you will find romantic essay examples. They will show you how other students handled such an assignment.

58 Best Essay Examples on Romantic Relationship

Why beautiful women prefer unattractive men.

• Words: 1140

Long-Distance and Extended Time Effect on Relationships

• Words: 1991

Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship

Students and faculty members’ romantic relations.

• Words: 1457

Culture Influence on Intimacy and Human Relationships

• Words: 1978

Gender Communication in Romantic Relationship

• Words: 1591

Arguments: What Is Love?

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.

• Words: 3969

A woman’s love

• Words: 1385

Responsibility in Romantic Relationships

Online relationships are real and positive, 5 love languages description, attachment styles and relationships.

• Words: 1416

Long-Term Intimate Relationships

• Words: 2423

Why Do People Search for Love?

• Words: 1049

Interracial Relationships: Pros and Cons

Couple relationship: key dimensions.

• Words: 1227

Sexuality and Sexual Happiness Analysis

Interracial romantic relationships, rules of modern love and art of courtly love, “are gen z more pragmatic about love and sex” by klein, “biochemistry of love” by carter & porges, sociology of the family: love and relationships.

• Words: 1413

Adolescent Romantic Relationships

Online dating platforms, sex, and relationships, love and marriage: “the lady with the pet dog” and “the birthmark”.

• Words: 1009

Dating in Los Angeles: The City of Dreams That Come True

Self-happiness and its impact on romantic relationships, interpersonal attraction between two people.

• Words: 1059

Mate Preference Based on Personality Traits

The biology of love in knox and schacht’s book and stanislawski’s video, the history of dating and romantic relationships.

• Words: 1002

Romantic Relationship: Main Aspects

• Words: 1122

McDonald’s and Romantic Relationships

• Words: 1369

Shteyngart: The Case of Lenny and Eunice

The influence of pornography on the internet, the role of secrecy in erotic romantic love.

• Words: 1547

“Six Styles of Love” by Hendricks and John Allan Lee

Dating online as a part of human life, ideas of love: western civilizations.

• Words: 4463

What Is The Meaning Of Love?

First date: sociological analysis, “sex and the city”: the question of monogamy and polygamy, why people idealize love but do not practice it, love. characteristics of a true feeling, abusive intimate relationships and turning points, love components in sternberg’s triangular theory, attraction and relationships analysis, early dating rituals in filter theory, dual relationships and boundaries in adolescents, infidelity in sexual relationships and marriage.

• Words: 1034

Romantic Relationship Stages and Characteristics

Common conflict areas in marital and couple relationships, love and its nature: “perception of love in young adults”, creation and breaking of relationships in you’ve got mail and annie hall.

• Words: 1447

Love in a Relationship Without Sex

• Words: 1713

Love, in the Form of Romance, Can Never Give Us What We Want

• Words: 3514

Maintaining and Repairing Relationships

• Words: 1408

Before You Write a Love Essay, Read This to Get Examples

The day will come when you can’t escape the fate of all students: You will have to write a what is love essay.

No worries:

Here you’ll find tons of love essay topics and examples. No time to read everything? Scroll down to get a free PDF with original samples.

Definition: Essay on Love

First, let’s define what is love essay?

The most common topics are:

• Definition of love
• What is love?
• Meaning of love

Why limit yourself to these hackneyed, general themes? Below, I’ll show how to make your paper on love original yet relevant to the prompt you get from teachers.

Love Essay Topics: 20 Ideas to Choose for Your Paper

Your essay on love and relationship doesn’t have to be super official and unemotional. It’s ok to share reflections and personal opinions when writing about romance.

Often, students get a general task to write an essay on love. It means they can choose a theme and a title for their paper. If that’s your case,  feel free to try any of these love essay topics:

• Exploring the impact of love on individuals and relationships.
• Love in the digital age: Navigating romance in a tech world.
• Is there any essence and significance in unconditional love?
• Love as a universal language: Connecting hearts across cultures.
• Biochemistry of love: Exploring the process.
• Love vs. passion vs. obsession.
• How love helps cope with heartbreak and grief.
• The art of loving. How we breed intimacy and trust.
• The science behind attraction and attachment.
• How love and relationships shape our identity and help with self-discovery.
• Love and vulnerability: How to embrace emotional openness.
• Romance is more complex than most think: Passion, intimacy, and commitment explained.
• Love as empathy: Building sympathetic connections in a cruel world.
• Evolution of love. How people described it throughout history.
• The role of love in mental and emotional well-being.
• Love as a tool to look and find purpose in life.
• Welcoming diversity in relations through love and acceptance.
• Love vs. friendship: The intersection of platonic and romantic bonds.
• The choices we make and challenges we overcome for those we love.
• Love and forgiveness: How its power heals wounds and strengthens bonds.

Love Essay Examples: Choose Your Sample for Inspiration

Essays about love are usually standard, 5-paragraph papers students write in college:

• One paragraph is for an introduction, with a hook and a thesis statement
• Three are for a body, with arguments or descriptions
• One last passage is for a conclusion, with a thesis restatement and final thoughts

Below are the ready-made samples to consider. They’ll help you see what an essay about love with an introduction, body, and conclusion looks like.

What is love essay: 250 words

Lao Tzu once said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Indeed, love can transform individuals, relationships, and our world.

A word of immense depth and countless interpretations, love has always fascinated philosophers, poets, and ordinary individuals. This  emotion breaks boundaries and has a super power to change lives. But what is love, actually?

It’s a force we feel in countless ways. It is the warm embrace of a parent, filled with care and unwavering support. It is the gentle touch of a lover, sparking a flame that ignites passion and desire. Love is the kind words of a friend, offering solace and understanding in times of need. It is the selfless acts of compassion and empathy that bind humanity together.

Love is not confined to romantic relationships alone. It is found in the family bonds, the connections we forge with friends, and even the compassion we extend to strangers. Love is a thread that weaves through the fabric of our lives, enriching and nourishing our souls.

However, love is not without its complexities. It can be both euphoric and agonizing, uplifting and devastating. Love requires vulnerability, trust, and the willingness to embrace joy and pain. It is a delicate balance between passion and compassion, independence and interdependence.

Finally, the essence of love may be elusive to define with mere words. It is an experience that surpasses language and logic, encompassing a spectrum of emotions and actions. Love is a profound connection that unites us all, reminding us of our shared humanity and the capacity for boundless compassion.

What is love essay: 500 words

A 500-word essay on why I love you

Trying to encapsulate why I love you in a mere 500 words is impossible. My love for you goes beyond the confines of language, transcending words and dwelling in the realm of emotions, connections, and shared experiences. Nevertheless, I shall endeavor to express the depth and breadth of my affection for you.

First and foremost, I love you for who you are. You possess a unique blend of qualities and characteristics that captivate my heart and mind. Your kindness and compassion touch the lives of those around you, and I am grateful to be the recipient of your unwavering care and understanding. Your intelligence and wit constantly challenge me to grow and learn, stimulating my mind and enriching our conversations. You have a beautiful spirit that radiates warmth and joy, and I am drawn to your vibrant energy.

I love the way you make me feel. When I am with you, I feel a sense of comfort and security that allows me to be my true self. Your presence envelops me in a cocoon of love and acceptance, where I can express my thoughts, fears, and dreams without fear of judgment. Your support and encouragement inspire me to pursue my passions and overcome obstacles. With you by my side, I feel empowered to face the world, knowing I have a partner who believes in me.

I love the memories we have created together. From the laughter-filled moments of shared adventures to the quiet and intimate conversations, every memory is etched in my heart. Whether exploring new places, indulging in our favorite activities, or simply enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence, each experience reinforces our bond. Our shared memories serve as a foundation for our relationship, a testament to the depth of our connection and the love that binds us.

I love your quirks and imperfections. Your true essence shines through these unique aspects! Your little traits make me smile and remind me of the beautiful individual you are. I love how you wrinkle your nose when you laugh, become lost in thought when reading a book, and even sing off-key in the shower. These imperfections make you human, relatable, and utterly lovable.

I love the future we envision together. We support each other’s goals, cheering one another on as we navigate the path toward our dreams. The thought of building a life together, creating a home filled with love and shared experiences, fills my heart with anticipation and excitement. The future we imagine is one that I am eager to explore with you by my side.

In conclusion, the reasons why I love you are as vast and varied as the universe itself. It is a love that defies logic and surpasses the limitations of language. From the depths of my being, I love you for the person you are, the way you make me feel, the memories we cherish, your quirks and imperfections, and the future we envision together. My love for you is boundless, unconditional, and everlasting.

A 5-paragraph essay about love

I’ve gathered all the samples (and a few bonus ones) in one PDF. It’s free to download. So, you can keep it at hand when the time comes to write a love essay.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Family — Love

Essays on Love

Hook examples for love essays, anecdotal hook.

Love, as I have come to understand, is more than a feeling; it's a force that has shaped the course of my life. Join me on a journey through the depths and complexities of this powerful emotion.

Question Hook

What is the true nature of love? Is it an unexplainable chemistry between two people or a profound connection that transcends words? Exploring the concept of love opens the door to a world of wonder.

Quotation Hook

""Love is an endless act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom."" These words from Maya Angelou remind us of the transformative power of love and forgiveness in our lives.

Types of Love Hook

Love wears many faces, from romantic love to platonic, familial, and self-love. Delve into the different types of love and their unique qualities that define our human experience.

Love and Relationships Hook

What is the secret to a lasting and meaningful relationship? Explore the dynamics of love in the context of relationships and the role it plays in our connections with others.

The Science of Love Hook

Peek into the fascinating world of neurochemistry and psychology to uncover the science behind love. How do our brains and bodies respond to this extraordinary emotion?

Love's Impact on Art and Culture Hook

Throughout history, love has inspired countless works of art, music, and literature. Analyze the profound influence of love on our cultural expressions and creative endeavors.

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A Letter from The Girl Who Loves You

Where to: experience love at first sip, love and adultery in "the lady with the dog" by anton chekhov, nothing gonna change my love for you, true connection and essence of love, how sun love moon, the portrayal and role of the concept of love in the handmaid's tale, the meaning of family to me, my experience growing up from broken family, how does music communicate emotion, a letter to my mother, foundation and light of home, my ideal partner: a personal reflection on relationships, the relationship between science and love in tom stoppard’s "arcadia", elton john and david furnish: long-lasted love story, transcend boundary of time and space, mansoor ali khan and sharmila tagore - love story of lifetime, social status relation to love and chance in 'marivaux', not every lose is a lose, sex and sexuality in the unbearable lightness of being, relevant topics.

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Essays About Love and Relationships: Top 5 Examples

Love, romance, and relationships are just as complicated and messy as they are fascinating. Read our guide on essays about love and relationships.

We, as humans, are social beings. Humanity is inclined towards living with others of our kind and forming relationships with them. Love, whether in a romantic context or otherwise, is essential to a strong relationship with someone. It can be used to describe familial, friendly, or romantic relationships; however, it most commonly refers to romantic partners. 

Love and relationships are difficult to understand, but with effort, devotion, and good intentions, they can blossom into something beautiful that will stay with you for life. This is why it is important to be able to discern wisely when choosing a potential partner.

5 Essay Examples

1. love and marriage by kannamma shanmugasundaram, 2. what my short-term relationships taught me about love and life by aaron zhu, 3. true love waits by christine barrett, 4. choosing the right relationship by robert solley, 5. masters of love by emily esfahani smith, 1. what is a healthy romantic relationship, 2. a favorite love story, 3. relationship experiences, 4. lessons relationships can teach you, 5. love and relationships in the 21st century, 6. is marriage necessary for true love.

“In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad.”

Shanmugasundaram’s essay looks at marriage in Eastern Cultures, such as her Indian traditions, in which women have less freedom and are often forced into arranged marriages. Shanmugasundaram discusses her differing views with her parents over marriage; they prefer to stick to tradition while she, influenced by Western values, wants to choose for herself. Ultimately, she has compromised with her parents: they will have a say in who she marries, but it will be up to her to make the final decision. She will only marry who she loves. 

“There is no forever, I’ve been promised forever by so many exes that it’s as meaningless to me as a homeless person promising me a pot of gold. From here on out, I’m no longer looking for promises of forever, what I want is the promise that you’ll try your best and you’ll be worth it. Don’t promise me forever, promise me that there will be no regrets.”

In Zhu’s essay, he reflects on his lessons regarding love and relationships. His experiences with past partners have taught him many things, including self-worth and the inability to change others. Most interestingly, however, he believes that “forever” does not exist and that going into a relationship, they should commit to as long as possible, not “forever.” Furthermore, they should commit to making the relationship worthwhile without regret. 

“For life is a constant change, love is the greatest surprise, friendship is your best defense, maturity comes with responsibility and death is just around the corner, so, expect little, assume nothing, learn from your mistakes, never fail to have faith that true love waits, take care of your friends, treasure your family, moderate your pride and throw up all hatred for God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds, reminding us not to force our way but to wait for true love to happen perfectly in His time.”

Barrett writes about how teenagers often feel the need to be in a relationship or feel “love” as soon as possible. But unfortunately, our brains are not fully matured in our teenage years, so we are more likely to make mistakes. Barrett discourages teenagers from dating so early; she believes that they should let life take its course and enjoy life at the moment. Her message is that they shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up, for true love will come to those who are patient. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment and essays about girlfriends .

“A paucity of common interests gets blamed when relationships go south, but they are rarely the central problem. Nonetheless, it is good to have some — mostly in terms of having enough in common that there are things that you enjoy spending time doing together. The more important domains to consider are personality and values, and when it comes to personality, the key question is how does your potential partner handle stress.”

Solley, from a more psychological perspective, gives tips on how one can choose the ideal person to be in a relationship with. Love is a lifetime commitment, so much thought should be put into it. One should look at culture, values regarding spending money, and common interests. Solley believes that you should not always look for someone with the same interests, for what makes a relationship interesting is the partners’ differences and how they look past them. 

“There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: Either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.”

Smith discusses research conducted over many years that explains the different aspects of a relationship, including intimacy, emotional strength, and kindness. She discusses kindness in-depth, saying that a relationship can test your kindness, but you must be willing to work to be kind if you love your partner. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

6 Writing Prompts On Essays About Love and Relationships

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. For example, some prioritize assertiveness in their partner, while others prefer a calmer demeanor. You can write about different qualities and habits that a healthy, respectful relationship needs, such as quality time and patience. If you have personal experience, reflect on this as well; however, if you don’t, write about what you would hope from your future partner. 

Love and relationships have been an essential element in almost every literary work, movie, and television show; an example of each would be Romeo and Juliet , The Fault in Our Stars , and Grey’s Anatomy . Even seemingly unrelated movies, such as the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, have a romantic component. Describe a love story of your choice; explain its plot, characters, and, most importantly, how the theme of love and relationships is present. 

If you have been in a romantic relationship before, or if you are in one currently, reflect on your experience. Why did you pursue this relationship? Explore your relationship’s positive and negative sides and, if applicable, how it ended. If not, write about how you will try and prevent the relationship from ending.

All our experiences in life form us, relationships included. In your essay, reflect on ways romantic relationships can teach you new things and make you better; consider values such as self-worth, patience, and positivity. Then, as with the other prompts, use your personal experiences for a more interesting essay. Hou might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

How love, romance, and relationships are perceived has changed dramatically in recent years; from the nuclear family, we have seen greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, blended families, and relationships with more than two partners—research on how the notion of romantic relationships has changed and discuss this in your essay. 

More and more people in relationships are deciding not to get married. For a strong argumentative essay, discuss whether you agree with the idea that true love does not require marriage, so it is fine not to get married in the first place. Research the arguments of both sides, then make your claim. 

Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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What Is Romantic Love?

Is it an evolutionary adaptation, a social construct, or something else.

Posted February 9, 2020 | Reviewed by Daniel Lyons M.A.

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What is love? The word love has been used synonymously with enjoyment, enthusiasm, attachment , affection, sexual attraction , care, concern, loyalty, devotion, etc.

It's important to distinguish: r omantic love (also known as romance) has a more specific meaning, and refers to “ intense attraction that involves the idealization of the other, within an erotic context, with the expectation of enduring for some time into the future.” 1 In today’s post, I examine four ways of looking at romance.

1. Romantic love as an evolutionary adaptation.

Let me start with one of the less romantic views of romantic love, which suggests love is a product of forces that increase the chances of passing on one’s genes to future generations.

Some readers may be thinking that passing on one’s genes requires sex only, so what’s love got to do with it (as Tina Turner might say)?

To explain, let me first note we often seek romantic partners who have high levels of certain qualities (e.g., health, beauty, wealth). Assuming we succeed in acquiring a partner with those qualities, however, we face two problems.

One, those qualities do not last (e.g., our partners grow old, get ill, lose their high-paying jobs). Second, we may be tempted by individuals with greater positive attributes (e.g., richer, younger, smarter, prettier).

So, what would keep an individual from divorcing or cheating on their significant other? According to the evolutionary psychologist David Buss, the answer is love. 2-4

Love evolved as a solution to what Buss calls the “ problem of commitment .” It is only when we love our partner that we refuse to leave them even if they lose what we value in them (e.g., money, looks, abilities) or if someone “better” comes along .

2. Romantic love as what unites us with our partner.

Switching now to what may be the most romantic view of love, let us talk about soulmates. In Plato’s The Symposium , Aristophanes gives the following famous story as the origins of soulmates:

Aristophanes says human beings were initially round (their sides and backs formed a circle), had four arms and legs, and one head with two faces which looked in opposite directions. As such, humans were very powerful. So Zeus decided to “ cut them in two [so] they will be diminished in strength.” 5

We human beings, as these split bodies, spend our lives seeking our other halves, so we can be whole again. It is this “desire and pursuit of the whole” that we call "love."

The idea of us looking for our other halves—and the idea that like attracts like—makes sense to many people because we often find ourselves attracted to those with whom we share much in common.

Research also supports this view. For instance, a 2006 study, in which participants rated various aspects of a married couple based on pictures of their faces, found “perceived age, attractiveness , and some personality traits [such as extraversion and conscientiousness ] were similar between partners .” 6

3. Romantic love as a blind force.

They say love is blind but is Cupid blind, too? In other words, do we fall in love with random people?

If love is a blind force, then romance might be triggered by chance encounters with random individuals—not by recognition of meeting a potential soulmate.

This view has also received research support. For instance, attraction is influenced by proximity. According to Zajonc’s “ mere repeated exposure ” theory, when we have regular contact with a stimulus, we develop a preference for that object, person, etc. 7 This means we are more likely to feel attracted to—and form a romantic relationship with—our coworkers, classmates, or neighbors than with strangers.

Of course, proximity alone is rarely enough; proximity-based romantic relationships may not survive if missing other important ingredients (e.g., positive emotions ). 8

Nevertheless, evidence showing that our choice of romantic relationships is influenced by proximity may pose a challenge to the more starry-eyed views of romantic love as possible only between soulmates.

4. Romantic love as a sociocultural construct.

Could it be that how we define love says more about our society and culture than it does about some absolute and universal concept of true love? Perhaps.

For instance, intimacy is an important element of romantic love, but what we consider intimate relationships in America arose in the early nineteenth century; they did so in the context of rapid modernization and urbanization, and the separation of the world of home from work. As one author put it: “Individualism and intimacy are the Siamese twins of modernization .” 9

Nonetheless, even if we were to assume the essence of romantic love is universal and refers to the same thing today as it did many years ago, evidence suggests romantic love was often much less important in the past.

Case in point, in ancient Greece, marriage functioned as a means of reproduction and control over the inheritance of property; however, as societies changed over time so did the institution of marriage . Consequently, a new need arose for a type of love capable of bringing two people together in a “monogamous, lifelong, nuclear family-like bond,” a love that could take the place of “work previously done by patriarchal financial arrangements.” Romantic love became important in part because society “created certain specific work for it to do.” 10

See if you spot any similarities in how your family, friends, or strangers celebrate this holiday. Contemplate what these similarities tell you about traditions and societal expectations (wherever you happen to be living in 2020), the significance of romance, what it means to be romantic, and the right way to celebrate love (e.g., with chocolates, cards, flowers). Consider whether it is possible for you to celebrate love differently. What would such a celebration of love look like?

Facebook image: G-Stock Studio/Shutterstock

1. Jankowiak, W. R., & Fischer, E. F. (1992). A cross-cultural perspective on romantic love. Ethnology, 31, 149-155.

2. Buss, D. M. (1988). Love acts: The evolutionary biology of love. In R. J. Sternberg & M. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love (pp. 100– 118). Yale University Press.

3. Buss, D. M. (2000). The dangerous passion: Why jealousy is as necessary as love and sex. Free Press.

4. Buss, D. M. (2006). The evolution of love. In R. J. Sternberg & K. Weis (Eds.), The new psychology of love (pp. 65– 86). Yale University Press.

5. Bury, R. G. (1932). The Symposium of Plato . Cambridge University Press.

6. Little, A. C., Burt, D. M., & Perrett, D. I. (2006). Assortative mating for perceived facial personality traits. Personality and Individual Differences, 40, 973-984.

7. Zajonc, R. B. (2001). Mere exposure: A gateway to the subliminal. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 10, 224–228.

8. Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62, 737–45.

9. Gadlin, H. (1977). Private lives and public order. In G. Levinger & H. L. Raush (Eds.). Close relationships: Perspectives on the meaning of intimacy (pp. 33-72). University of Massachusetts Press.

10. Jenkins, C. (2017). What love is: And what it could be. Basic Books.

Arash Emamzadeh attended the University of British Columbia in Canada, where he studied genetics and psychology. He has also done graduate work in clinical psychology and neuropsychology in U.S.

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Essay on Love for Students and Children

500+ words essay on love.

Love is the most significant thing in human’s life. Each science and every single literature masterwork will tell you about it. Humans are also social animals. We lived for centuries with this way of life, we were depended on one another to tell us how our clothes fit us, how our body is whether healthy or emaciated. All these we get the honest opinions of those who love us, those who care for us and makes our happiness paramount.

What is Love?

Love is a set of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs with strong feelings of affection. So, for example, a person might say he or she loves his or her dog, loves freedom, or loves God. The concept of love may become an unimaginable thing and also it may happen to each person in a particular way.

Love has a variety of feelings, emotions, and attitude. For someone love is more than just being interested physically in another one, rather it is an emotional attachment. We can say love is more of a feeling that a person feels for another person. Therefore, the basic meaning of love is to feel more than liking towards someone.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Need of Love

We know that the desire to love and care for others is a hard-wired and deep-hearted because the fulfillment of this wish increases the happiness level. Expressing love for others benefits not just the recipient of affection, but also the person who delivers it. The need to be loved can be considered as one of our most basic and fundamental needs.

One of the forms that this need can take is contact comfort. It is the desire to be held and touched. So there are many experiments showing that babies who are not having contact comfort, especially during the first six months, grow up to be psychologically damaged.

Significance of Love

Love is as critical for the mind and body of a human being as oxygen. Therefore, the more connected you are, the healthier you will be physically as well as emotionally. It is also true that the less love you have, the level of depression will be more in your life. So, we can say that love is probably the best antidepressant.

It is also a fact that the most depressed people don’t love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also become self-focused and hence making themselves less attractive to others.

Society and Love

It is a scientific fact that society functions better when there is a certain sense of community. Compassion and love are the glue for society. Hence without it, there is no feeling of togetherness for further evolution and progress. Love , compassion, trust and caring we can say that these are the building blocks of relationships and society.

Relationship and Love

A relationship is comprised of many things such as friendship , sexual attraction , intellectual compatibility, and finally love. Love is the binding element that keeps a relationship strong and solid. But how do you know if you are in love in true sense? Here are some symptoms that the emotion you are feeling is healthy, life-enhancing love.

Love is the Greatest Wealth in Life

Love is the greatest wealth in life because we buy things we love for our happiness. For example, we build our dream house and purchase a favorite car to attract love. Being loved in a remote environment is a better experience than been hated even in the most advanced environment.

Love or Money

Love should be given more importance than money as love is always everlasting. Money is important to live, but having a true companion you can always trust should come before that. If you love each other, you will both work hard to help each other live an amazing life together.

Love has been a vital reason we do most things in our life. Before we could know ourselves, we got showered by it from our close relatives like mothers , fathers , siblings, etc. Thus love is a unique gift for shaping us and our life. Therefore, we can say that love is a basic need of life. It plays a vital role in our life, society, and relation. It gives us energy and motivation in a difficult time. Finally, we can say that it is greater than any other thing in life.

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• Published: 31 January 2024

A decade of love: mapping the landscape of romantic love research through bibliometric analysis

• Yixue Han 1 ,
• Yulin Luo 1 ,
• Zhuohong Chen 1 ,
• Nan Gao 1 ,
• Yangyang Song 1 &
• Shen Liu 1  

Humanities and Social Sciences Communications volume  11 , Article number:  187 ( 2024 ) Cite this article

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Given the limited availability of bibliometric and visual analysis on the topic of romantic love, the primary objective of the current study is to fill this gap by conducting a comprehensive visual analysis of relevant literature. Through this analysis, the current study aimed to uncover current research trends and identify potential future directions in the field of romantic love. The current study’s search criteria were met by an impressive 6858 publications found in the Web of Science database for the period between 2013 and 2022. A thorough analysis was conducted on the bibliographic visualization of the authors, organizations, countries, references, and keywords. Over time, there has been a remarkable surge in the number of significant publications. Among the authors in the field of romantic love, Emily A. Impett has emerged as the most prolific. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships is indeed one of the top journals that has published a significant number of articles on the topic of romantic love. During the preceding decade, the University of California System emerged as a prominent producer of publications centered around romantic love, solidifying the United States’ position as a dominant player in this field. In recent times, there has been a significant surge in the popularity of keywords such as “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships” within academic literature. These topics have experienced a burst of attention, as evidenced by a substantial increase in references and citations. Through the use of visualization maps and analysis of key publications, the current study offers a comprehensive overview of the key concepts and potential avenues for future research in the field of romantic love. Gaining a deep understanding of the complex dynamics and societal implications of romantic love has been instrumental in formulating policies that embody increased compassion and support. As a result, these policies have played a pivotal role in fostering resilient familial ties and contributing to the enduring stability and prosperity of our social fabric.

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Introduction, the development course of romantic love.

Romantic love, as defined by Hatfield and Rapson ( 1987 ) as an intense longing for union with another, has long been recognized as a driving force behind some of humanity’s most remarkable achievements. Studies by Bartels and Zeki ( 2000 ) and the work of Fehr ( 2013 , 2015 ) have further emphasized its profound impact. Previous research has suggested that romantic love has a crucial role in the development and maintenance of romantic relationships. It involves a transition from the significant investment of time and attention in the initial stages to enhanced communication and satisfaction in committed partnerships (Mizrahi et al. 2022 ). However, recent research has shown that in the United States, the divorce rate has consistently remained at historically high levels. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( 2017 ), ~40–50% of first marriages end in divorce. In recent times, there has been a trend toward shorter and more prevalent romantic relationships. Alirezanejad ( 2022 ) found that different generations of women have maintained distinct expectations and experiences when it comes to love. Additionally, the significance of commitment in romantic relationships has witnessed a decline. These findings also indicate that there are additional factors at play that influence the dynamics between romantic love and the duration of relationships. The triangular theory of love, being one of the most widely used theories on romantic love, proposes that romantic love consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and an absence of commitment, alongside a willingness to invest resources without expecting reciprocation (Jimenez-Picon et al. 2022 ). The Love Attitude Scale (LAS) developed by Clyde and Susan Hendrick has been a significant contribution in the study of romantic love using psychometric methods. Tobore ( 2020 ) introduced a comprehensive four-fold framework that aims to elucidate the dynamics of how love evolves and diminishes. This framework includes the elements of attraction, empathy or connection, trust, and respect. As a result, the enigmatic and unique nature of romantic love has captivated the attention of scholars from various disciplines, including psychology, biology, sociology, and neuroscience. These scholars have conducted extensive research and investigations into the complexities of romantic love. Thus, the present study conducted a comprehensive and in-depth analysis and discourse on romantic love, spanning multiple research domains. Additionally, the publication emphasized the influence of romantic love on positive emotions as well as its association with various negative behaviors. Furthermore, it underscored the importance of utilizing bibliometric analysis as a valuable approach to study and understand romantic love.

The research directions of romantic love in different disciplines

Psychologists have focused on exploring the relationship between romantic love and negative emotions in individuals with mental illnesses. Lafontaine et al. ( 2020 ) found a correlation between romantic love insecurity, specifically anxiety and avoidance, and the occurrence of intimate partner violence (IPV). This pattern of behavior was shown to undermine relationships and diminish individuals’ sense of security. Moreover, individuals with schizophrenia and other mental health conditions faced significant challenges in building and sustaining healthy interpersonal connections, partly due to the enduring stigma associated with mental illness (Budziszewska et al. 2020 ). Biological researchers have delved into the physiological activities and responses associated with romantic love. Furthermore, biological research has demonstrated that communication plays a crucial role in enhancing romantic relationships by facilitating physiological and behavioral adaptations between partners. For instance, a study by Zeevi et al. ( 2022 ) revealed that men and women in a romantic relationship can enhance their romantic interest in each other by synchronizing their skin electrical activities and modifying their behavior. These findings suggest that the social adaptation of the sympathetic nervous system and motor behavior play a critical role in the romantic attraction between partners. Furthermore, recent biological research conducted by Kerr et al. ( 2022 ) has discovered a correlation between unsuitable adult attachment in romantic relationships and the interpersonal circumplex, which is a component of personality pathology. Furthermore, a sociological study on pair-bonding conducted by Fletcher et al. ( 2015 ) highlighted that romantic love is intricately linked to the evolution and survival of Homo sapiens, making it a biologically significant function with profound evolutionary implications. Neuroscientists have examined the activation of different brain regions that are triggered by romantic love activities. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) has emerged as a prominent technique for studying the neurobiological basis of love. Researchers such as Acevedo et al. ( 2020 ) and Chester et al. ( 2021 ) have utilized fMRI to investigate the neural correlates of romantic love and gain insights into the brain mechanisms underlying this complex phenomenon. Neuroscientists have identified specific brain regions associated with love, including the insula and anterior cingulate cortex. These regions are involved in the processing of emotional experiences related to valued objects. A study by Bartels and Zeki ( 2000 ) highlighted the involvement of these brain regions in the experience of romantic love, shedding light on the neural mechanisms underlying the emotional aspects of love. The activation of reward-related areas in the brain, particularly those rich in oxytocin, has been observed in individuals experiencing love. Studies by Acevedo et al. ( 2012 ) and Bartels and Zeki ( 2004 ) have shown that regions associated with reward processing, such as the ventral tegmental area and nucleus accumbens, are involved in the experience of romantic love. Indeed, the involvement of the reward system in love has surpassed expectations. During the initial stages of romantic love, research conducted by Fisher et al. ( 2010 ) has shown that reward-related brain regions, including the bilateral ventral tegmental areas, are activated more strongly compared to the later stages of passion.

The social impact of romantic love

Undoubtedly, falling in love has a profound impact on people’s daily lives, as highlighted by research conducted by Quintard et al. ( 2021 ). Falling in love has been associated with enhanced well-being and has been correlated with fervor, activity, pleasure, and other positive emotions, as noted in research conducted by Langeslag ( 2022 ). However, it is important to acknowledge that the pitfalls of romantic love are often overlooked. Research, such as that conducted by Lonergan et al. ( 2022 ), has found associations between romantic love and criminal activity as well as psychological disorders. Additionally, studies by Aron et al. ( 2005 ), Merritt et al. ( 2022 ) and Li et al. ( 2022 ) have highlighted the presence of unpleasant affective states such as hyperarousal, anxiety, and depression in the context of romantic love. In recent decades, romantic love has undergone significant transformations that have had a substantial impact on both personal and societal life, as emphasized by research conducted by Reis et al. ( 2013 ).

The necessity of bibliometric analysis

Bibliometrics is a field that encompasses the quantitative study of documents, aiming to provide researchers with insights into academic, technological, and scientific advancements (William and Concepción 2001 ). The methodology utilized a range of techniques, including author analysis, concept mapping, clustering, factor analysis, and citation analysis, to investigate historical data and assist scholars in identifying significant trends and emerging directions within their disciplines (Daim et al. 2006 ; Hou et al. 2022 ). The term “bibliometrics” was coined by the distinguished British scientist Allen Richard in 1969, replacing the previously employed term “statistical bibliography.” In recent years, there has been a surging interest in this approach, with a growing number of researchers incorporating it into their work. Bibliometric analysis has been employed in various research domains, including the study of romantic love. These analyses offer valuable insights into the research areas that have been investigated, as well as potential future trends, challenges, and opportunities in the field. To the best of our knowledge, there have been limited previous publications that have specifically analyzed romantic love based on the triangular theory of love development and explored the concept across different disciplines.

In the current study, we utilized state-of-the-art analytical tools, including CiteSpace (6.2.R2), VOSviewer (1.6.18), Microsoft Excel (2019), and Scimago Graphica (1.0.26), in conjunction with the most recent data obtained from the Web of Science (WOS) core collection database. These tools allowed us to conduct a comprehensive bibliometric and visual analysis of publications related to romantic love published in the last decade. By employing these cutting-edge tools and leveraging the extensive data available from WOS, we aimed to gain valuable insights into the research landscape surrounding romantic love during this specific time frame. Our study aimed to achieve several objectives. First, we sought to identify the current research hotspots and trends within the field of romantic love. Second, we aimed to conduct an in-depth examination of visual maps and seminal articles, providing a comprehensive overview of the literature.

Material and methods

Data acquisition and search strategy.

The Web of Science (WOS) platform served as a valuable resource, containing a vast collection of over 9000 significant academic articles. This database stands as one of the oldest and most comprehensive citation index records, encompassing a wide range of disciplines, including social science, engineering technology, biomedicine, arts and humanities, and various other subjects. Since its establishment in 1900, the Web of Science (WOS) has served as a cornerstone of scholarly research and has wielded significant influence within academic circles (Ellegaard and Wallin 2015 ). The quantitative analysis feature of the platform facilitated the acquisition of various types of information related to scholarly publications. This included data on the annual number of papers published, papers published by state or region, popular journals within specific disciplines, frequently utilized publishing houses, and highly downloaded and cited literature. Indeed, references that receive multiple citations play a crucial role in providing a robust foundation for the study of romantic love, as emphasized by Xu et al. ( 2022 ).

The subject matter of romantic love and its interrelation with romantic relationships has a profound impact on the satisfaction and longevity of love between individuals, as highlighted by Zagefka ( 2022 ). Passionate love is a fundamental concept within romantic relationships, as emphasized by Mizrahi et al. ( 2022 ). Sternberg’s triangular theory of love stands as one of the most substantial and frequently referenced frameworks for understanding love, as noted by Sorokowski et al. ( 2021 ). To comprehensively explore the topic, the search strategy incorporated the inclusion of the following elements: The topic could encompass “romantic love,” OR “passionate love,” OR “romantic relationship,” OR “triangular theory of love.”‘ The search was conducted within the Web of Science Core Collection database, which covers the time period from 2013 to 2022. The database indexes the Science Citation Index Expanded (SCI-EXPANDED) and Social Science Citation Index-Expanded (SSCI-EXPANDED). The search was limited to publications written in the English language. To refine the search and focus on specific types of publications, certain categories were excluded from the search results. These excluded categories included early access, book chapters, proceeding papers, data papers, and retracted publications. By excluding these categories, the search aimed to prioritize reviews and articles, which are typically considered primary sources of scholarly information. As a result of these refined search criteria, a total of 6858 relevant items were identified and included in the analysis.

The retrieval strategy employed in this research was designed to maintain the integrity and impartiality of the search process (see Fig. 1 ).

To ensure that the search results were not influenced by daily database updates, all searches were conducted on a single day, specifically on March 26, 2023.

Analysis tool

For bibliometric analysis, the current study utilized a powerful combination of CiteSpace (6.2.R2), VOSviewer (1.6.18), Microsoft Excel (2019), and Scimago Graphica (1.0.26). These state-of-the-art software tools seamlessly integrated insights from scientometrics, information science, computer science, and other related fields to generate highly intuitive and informative visual maps. These maps revealed the development trajectory and structural underpinnings of scientific research. Indeed, each of these four software applications held unique and irreplaceable significance, excelling in specific domains of bibliometric analysis. Excel, for instance, demonstrated unparalleled proficiency in the intuitive transformation of charts. CiteSpace specialized in the clustering of topics and the delineation of the spatio-temporal background of words. VOSviewer played a pivotal role in both displaying and analyzing keywords, leveraging its distinctive capabilities. Lastly, Scimago Graphica contributed significantly to the geographical perspective of statistical analysis, offering insights that were unmatched in their comprehensiveness. Collectively, these tools not only proved indispensable but also brought their individual strengths to the forefront, contributing uniquely to the overall analytical landscape. Indeed, the Excel program was commonly employed to comprehensively analyze key data points such as the number of published papers, frequency of citations, and matched published documents. It was also employed to synthesize all the information for creating intuitive visual representations (Fig. 2 ) to illustrate the trends in the number of publications, citations, and their corresponding fitting functions during different periods. The use of CiteSpace in the current study was focused on highlighting the most salient occurrence burst on a timeline map and detecting the centrality of romantic love studies (Zhang et al. 2022a ). In order to attain a comprehensive understanding of the progress in romantic love research, an evolutionary analysis was undertaken, utilizing CiteSpace’s burst function. Co-occurrence analysis on pertinent keywords is another valuable method used to gain insights into the relationships and patterns among keywords in a specific research domain. Indeed, the analyses conducted, including the evolutionary analysis and co-occurrence analysis, facilitated an examination of the prevailing themes and trends of romantic love across different generations from a chronological perspective. VOSviewer, a powerful visualization tool, was utilized in the current study to portray the borders of romantic love with varying color clusters. It also facilitated the exploration of the co-occurrence of authors, institutions, and keywords associated with romantic love. The circles of various colors and sizes were used to represent the occurrence frequency of distinct cluster words and different keywords, respectively. The examination of keywords in the current study, augmented by chart analysis, delved into a more profound, comprehensive, and scientific level. Scimago Graphica 1.0.18, a tool designed for visualizing international collaboration, proved highly effective in the current study for facilitating the visualization of international collaboration (He et al. 2022 ). By organically combining the atlas and the world map, researchers were able to intuitively observe differences in the number of publications across various countries and the extent of national collaboration between different regions.

The trend exhibited an upward trajectory, with an estimated 938 publications in 2021, compared to 502 publications in 2013. Notably, the annual publication volume in the field of romantic love had reached its peak in 2021, as indicated by the fitted equation. However, it is worth mentioning that there was a slight decrease in publication numbers during specific periods. From 2017 to 2018, the annual publication count declined from 644 to 608. Similarly, from 2019 to 2020, there was a minor decrease from 872 to 861 publications annually. Additionally, there was a slight decline from 2021 to 2022, with the number of publications decreasing from 938 to 817 annually.

In the previous study, a comprehensive range of factors was considered to provide a thorough and scientifically rigorous atlas analysis of romantic love research. These factors included the annual publication rate, citation counts, H-index, impact factor, centrality, and occurrence/citation burst. An increase in the volume of publications can indicate the growth of a field and provide insights into future research directions (Wang 2016 ). While the number of citations a paper receives may not directly measure an author’s academic influence, it can indicate the recognition of the author’s work by peers worldwide. The “H-index” was a tool for evaluating academic influence, where a researcher with an “H-index” of 10 had 10 papers that had been cited at least 10 times (Wang et al. 2021 ). Since its inception in the 1950s, the impact factor has been widely regarded as a prominent index for ranking scientific literature. It has become an emblem of the prestige and significance of journals and authors in determining the relevance of a journal (Oosthuizen and Fenton 2014 ). For the current study, Journal Citation Reports (JCR) were utilized to calculate impact factors (2021). The centrality of research objects can indeed reflect their impact on the entire field, with greater centrality indicating a greater representation of homologous study content within a subject area. In the study conducted by Gao et al. ( 2021 ), betweenness centrality scores were adjusted to the range of [0, 1]. Specifically, if the betweenness centrality score of a main keyword exceeded 0.10, it was considered to indicate the significance of the study target. In the study conducted by Xu et al. ( 2022 ), the concept of a “burst term” was utilized to refer to an unexpected term that emerged in the research, potentially indicating new directions or orientations discovered during the investigation. The Kleinberg burst detection method, which is implemented in the CiteSpace software, was employed to identify these burst terms and highlight them as indicators of frontier research.

Publication outputs

A total of 6858 records met the search criteria. As depicted in Fig. 2 , the number of annual publications in the field of romantic love has shown a consistent upward trend since 2013. This increase is accompanied by a corresponding surge in citation counts, as indicated by the fitted equation. Citation counts in the field of romantic love have also experienced a significant upsurge since 2013, with an approximate 90-fold increase by 2022. Furthermore, based on current trends and fitting curves, the number of studies in this field is expected to continue rising, with an increasing number of researchers focusing on this topic.

Distribution by journals

The current study retrieved a total of 6858 records from 1251 journals, with ~33.79% of the material published by 20 publications that released more than 50 papers in this field. The top ten journals, accounting for 23.78% (92–400) of all papers published, had an average publication count of 134 papers per journal (see Table 1 ). Among them, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (400 publications, IF 2021 = 2.681) had the highest number of papers on romantic love research, followed by Personal Relationships (189 publications, IF 2021 = 1.528), and Personality and Individual Differences (185 publications, IF 2021 = 3.950). Notably, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology was the most influential professional core journal in this field, boasting the highest impact factor (8.460). Both European and American journals have made significant contributions to this field, with the United States and the United Kingdom accounting for 40% and 50% of the top 10 journal publishing countries/regions, respectively. The impact factors of the top 10 most-published journals ranged from 1.528 to 8.460, with an average of 4.070. It is worth noting that publishing romantic love-related articles in high-impact journals remains challenging.

Distribution by authors and research areas

A staggering 15,088 authors contributed to the total number of papers. In Fig. 3 , the collaborative efforts of the writers were illustrated through a network map, where the connections between the nodes signified their collaborative affiliations. Among the top three clusters, the red cluster included authors Joseph P. Allen, Martine Hebert, and Marie-France Lafontaine, who had converged due to their shared research interests in adolescent dating violence and aggression (Cenat et al. 2022 ; Niolon et al. 2015 ). The blue cluster consisted of authors Frank D. Fincham, James K. Monk, and Ashley K. Randall, who had explored the interplay between relationship satisfaction, stress, and relationship maintenance in romantic relationships (Randall and Bodenmann 2017 ; Vennum et al. 2017 ). The yellow cluster included authors Todd K. Shackelford, William J. Chopik, and Justin K. Mogilski, whose work focused on the topic of polygamy (Moors et al. 2019 ; Sela et al. 2017 ). Martine Hebert, Todd K. Shackelford, Frank D. Fincham, and Emily A. Impett emerged as the cooperative network’s central nodes, underscoring their crucial role in advancing research on romantic love.

The authors’ cooperative network was partitioned into eight distinct clusters.

Table 2 provided a rundown of the most productive authors, with their published works ranging from 28 to 74 publications, averaging 41. The H-index, a yardstick for measuring academic influence, was employed to assess their impact. Notably, Emily A. Impett emerged as the dominant force within the cohort of scholars dedicated to the study of romantic love, having authored the most papers among the group (74 publications, H-index = 38). Additionally, Nickola C. Overall (42 publications, H-index = 19) and Amy Muise (60 publications, H-index = 30) also featured prominently as leading contributors to the field.

Table 3 and Fig. 4 displayed the number of publications in different fields of study related to the topic of romantic love. Notably, publications in the fields of biology, neuroscience, and economics were also included in Table 3 . The humanities were increasingly collaborating on romantic love research. Furthermore, the topic of romantic love was gaining popularity in the fields of psychology and sociology.

The field of psychology, including psychology and psychiatry, was significantly ahead. The field of sociology encompassed various topics in the social sciences, including sociology and social work.

Distribution by country and institution

A total of 6858 publications had been published and disseminated to 104 countries and regions worldwide. In the country analysis, Scimago Graphica had been used to explore the geographic collaboration network of participating nations. The participants of the current study were drawn from 104 different countries spanning Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, and South America, with Europe exhibiting the highest level of overall engagement, underscoring the global trend toward collaboration. The United States and the United Kingdom had demonstrated the greatest degree of cooperation. Notably, China, South Africa, Spain, Italy, France, and other countries with high cooperation densities had formed the most significant multi-center cooperation network in this field (see Fig. 5 ). Figure 6 illustrated international collaboration.

By leveraging Scimago Graphica, it was possible to merge geographical perspectives with national publications and collaborative relationships, providing an intuitive and scientific method to illuminate the various conditions of countries involved in the research on romantic love.

The largest blue cluster was comprised of the United States, China, Switzerland, Turkey, and Norway, demonstrating collaboration across the Americas, Europe, and East Asia.

Table 4 outlined the specifics of the top ten countries in the landscape of romantic love research. The United States topped the list with 4092 publications, followed by Canada with 802 publications, and the United Kingdom with 540 publications. It is noteworthy that the majority of publications were disseminated from high-income countries, aligning with the overall prosperity of those nations. Most papers were disseminated in high-income countries. This trend might have stemmed from the overarching principles governing scientific inquiry, or it could be attributed to authors in these nations having the freedom to engage in research spanning areas not necessarily centered on economic growth. However, within the realm of general well-being, this emerges as a pertinent concern. Primarily, high-income countries historically boasted more affluent reservoirs of research resources, encompassing financial backing, cutting-edge equipment, and a pool of adept talent. This affluence empowered researchers in these nations to embark on a diverse array of investigations, spanning domains intricately tied to economic growth and extending to those delving into broader realms such as general well-being and social development. The discernible divergence in resource allocation likely contributed to the disproportionate prevalence of publications in high-income countries. Secondarily, the scrutiny of whether the romantic love research domain intricately correlates with economic growth warrants profound contemplation. At times, the merit of research doesn’t solely reside in its potential to spur short-term economic growth but extends to its impact on the overarching well-being and sustainable evolution of society. High-income countries, historically oriented toward prioritizing protracted social well-being, manifested a proclivity to endorse research that, while not directly contributing to economic growth, played an indispensable role in the comprehensive development of society. Institutional collaboration was vividly portrayed in Fig. 7 , which consisted of six clusters. A total of 3328 institutions contributed to the 6858 articles on romantic love. Of the top 10 organizations, universities occupied the top spot (as indicated in Table 5 ), with the State University System of Florida (246 publications), the University System of Ohio (248 publications), and the University of California System (365 publications) leading the pack. Notably, nine out of the top 10 institutions hailed from the United States, which was a testament to the country’s exceptional research prowess in this field.

The red cluster denoted collaboration among Florida State University, University of Michigan, University of Washington, and Indiana University; the green cluster represented Ohio State University, University of Basel, and Nanyang Technological University; while the blue cluster embodied York University, the University of Toronto, Northwestern University, and Carleton University. Northwestern University, Florida State University, the University of Minnesota, and the University of Toronto were the major nodes in the cooperative network.

Analysis of references

Reference analysis played a critical role in bibliometric research, as the references with the highest citation bursts formed the foundation of knowledge at the forefront of research (Fitzpatrick 2005 ). In Fig. 8 , the current study presented the most relevant references on romantic love, which had experienced a surge in citations over the past decade. By the end of 2022, Mikulincer and Shaver’s ( 2016 ) articles had seen a significant increase in their citation counts, with the highest spike (14.35) observed in 2016, followed by Wincentak et al.’s ( 2017 ) studies (9.9). These two studies had been widely cited over the years and accurately captured the latest trends in romantic love research.

These references were represented by red and green bars, indicating their frequent and less frequent citation, respectively.

Mikulincer and Shaver’s ( 2016 ) delved into the causes and methods for measuring individual differences in adult attachment, as well as how to modify attachment styles, using several empirical studies. Additionally, they explored the cutting-edge genetics, neurological, and hormonal substrates of attachment, expanding the impact model’s depiction of how the attachment system functioned. In the study, Wincentak et al. ( 2017 ) discussed the prevalence of dating violence among adolescents of different genders using a meta-analysis method, while also examining the potential regulatory effects of age, demographics, and measurement. Research has shown that in adolescent dating violence, the crime rate of women was significantly lower than that of men. Based on the analysis of these articles, current research trends in romantic love included adult attachment and the examination of adolescents’ irrational beliefs about love and the resulting adverse consequences, such as dating violence.

Analysis of keywords

Keyword burst refers to keywords that have shown a sharp increase in frequency over time, enabling the assessment of the current study focus in this area and reflecting the development pattern of future research. The current study extracted the burst terms of various years in the area of romantic love to obtain the burst terms of various years in the area of romantic love (see Fig. 9 ). As we’ve seen, the field had a diverse range of research interests. By the end of 2022, the three words with the highest peak were “same-sex” (2020–2022), “conflict resolution” (2020–2022), and “social relationships” (2020–2022):

Same-sex: in a society that valued heterosexual relationships, same-sex relationships were often met with shame and stigma, leading to additional pressures uniquely linked to their sexual orientation and partnership (Feinstein et al. 2018 ; Rostosky and Riggle 2017 ). Moreover, the online conduct of gay individuals has been demonstrated to have significant implications for their sexual risk behaviors and emotional well-being in romantic relationships (Zhang et al. 2022b ). The development of effective dual interventions has been shown to enhance the health and well-being of same-sex couples and their families. These interventions should also educate parents about the potential negative effects of heteronormative assumptions and attitudes on their children’s positive adolescent development (Pearson and Wilkinson 2013 ).

Conflict resolution: previous research has shown the irony that a person’s favorite individual, such as their romantic partner, is often the very person with whom they engage in destructive behavior during conflicts, making this destructive response one of the most challenging issues in relationships (Alonso-Ferres et al. 2021 ). As a result, it was critical to effectively resolve conflicts in a constructive manner. The emergence of computer-mediated communication (CMC) as a novel conflict resolution approach prompted researchers to explore this matter. Ultimately, they discovered that there were no differences in pain, anger, and conflict resolution levels between face-to-face and CMC discussions (Pollmann et al. 2020 ). Another study focused on neural activity during conflict resolution, revealing that mediation could enhance conflict resolution and was linked to increased activity in the nucleus accumbens, a crucial area of the brain’s reward circuit (Rafi et al. 2020 ). The finding emphasizes the importance of identifying neural mechanisms that could enhance conflict resolution and improve relationship outcomes. By exploring various conflict resolution approaches and associated neural mechanisms, researchers can facilitate a deeper understanding of how to successfully resolve conflicts and enhance relationship satisfaction.

Social relationships: long-term relationships are vital to the mental health of both humans and animals. Positive emotions and experiences, such as romantic or platonic love, play a significant role in the establishment and maintenance of social bonds. With this in mind, researchers integrated brain imaging studies on emotions characterized by social connections to investigate whether and how humans and animals experience social emotions and influences similarly in the context of social relationships (Zablocki-Thomas et al. 2022 ). An ecological and cross-cutting perspective study found that black Americans viewed their partner’s interactions regarding discrimination as an opportunity for their romantic partner to offer support, as revealed in semi-structured interviews (Rice 2023 ). Furthermore, as romantic relationships represent one of the most unique types of social connections, researchers utilized functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scanning techniques to explore the neurobiological mechanisms of romantic relationships (Eckstein et al. 2023 ), offering valuable insight for the preservation and maintenance of social relationships and interactions.

Over the last 10 years, the most popular keywords were “same-sex” (11.07), “dating relationships” (9.22), and “HIV” (9.05), indicating high demand for these topics in recent years. The keywords with the longest blasting times were “dating relationships” (2014–2017) and “delinquency” (2014–2017). The phrases that were still trending in 2022 were hotspots.

Figure 10 illustrated the relationship between keywords. The connection strength between two nodes was a quantitative measure of their relationship. The most frequently used keyword, “romantic relationship,” was represented by the largest node in Fig. 10 (see Table 6 ). The “romantic relationship” (2036) node had thicker lines than “attachment” (766), “gender” (728), “satisfaction” (664), “behavior” (529), “marriage” (508), “commitment” (419), “adolescents” (417), “associations” (395), and “intimate partner relationship” (336). The nodes had a minimum link strength of 150. The close connections between “romantic relationship” and “marriage,” “commitment,” and “intimate partnership” demonstrated the importance of stable, long-term relationships in maintaining romantic love (Fu et al. 2012 ).

The connection strength between two nodes was a quantitative measure of their relationship. The total link strength of a node was the sum of its link strengths relative to all other nodes (Liao et al. 2018).

Keywords are essential in identifying the central themes and prospective avenues of a publication. By examining the co-occurrence of keywords, one can discern the current trajectory of research and development in a specific field (Zhang et al. 2022c ). In the present investigation, a total of 16,148 keywords were extracted from 6858 articles related to romantic love, with 10,571 being used only once, accounting for 65.46% of the total keywords. Through keyword co-occurrence analysis, six distinct color-coded clusters were identified, comprising attachment, gender, romantic relationships, personality, communication, and dynamics. The red cluster, attachment, delved into the complex relationships among commitment, fulfillment, companionship, and attachment insecurity. To address the diminished satisfaction in partner relationships caused by attachment insecurity, promoting healthy dualistic coping strategies (DCS) was recommended (Peloquin et al. 2022 ). The green cluster, gender, focused on the issues of dating violence victimization experienced by young individuals of different genders, with sexual minorities being particularly vulnerable to bullying (Cosma et al. 2022 ). The blue cluster, romantic connections, primarily examined the link between depressive symptoms and violent intimate partner relationships. Recent studies showed that dating violence and peer victimization were prevalent among young individuals (Smith et al. 2021 ) and that dating aggression was associated with both internalized and externalized psychopathology in young couples (Lantagne and Furman 2021 ). Additionally, the misuse of internet dating may lead to depression (Toplu-Demirtas et al. 2020 ). Apart from the six clusters mentioned, there was a noticeable trend toward integrating research with neuroimaging technology, which might lead to the emergence of new clusters in the realm of romantic love. The interconnectedness of attachment, gender, and romantic relationships was evident in the strong theoretical foundation and widespread attention these clusters received, whereas the clusters of personality, communication, and dynamics were more peripherally related. Due to their significance, future research on romantic love will continue to explore topics such as intimate partner violence, teenage dating violence victimization, attachment insecurity, and sexual abuse, with a focus on the three interconnected clusters of attachment, gender, and romantic relationships. In traditional notions, our understanding of romantic love had primarily consisted of terms such as romantic relationships and intimate commitments. However, practical issues such as misperceptions about love and a lack of regard for partners have gradually shifted the subject matter of research pertaining to romantic love toward dating violence. The research trajectory demonstrates a shift in the focus of romantic love research from a more idealized perspective toward a more realistic one. Finally, Fig. 11 displayed a keyword timeline graph that depicted when the most prevalent keywords first appeared and their evolving importance over time.

This keyword timeline graph was depicted when the most prevalent keywords first appeared and their evolving importance over time.

The current study used advanced bibliometrics and literature data visualization techniques with CiteSpace, VOSviewer, and Web of Science to examine the growth of research publications in the field of romantic love, as well as the main research nations, journals, and emerging trends. The thorough review provided insight into the present status of development and research in this field, while also clarifying the historical path of scholarship and providing clear guidance for future research. Using bibliometric methods, the study investigated romantic love research from 2013 to 2022. The results showed a steady increase in publications on this topic, with a slight decrease noted in 2019, likely due to the detrimental impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on academic research. However, the analysis of current trends indicates a projected increase in research output on romantic love in the coming years.

Romantic love has been a global phenomenon, with Europe and the United States leading in widespread participation and clear concentration. Among the top 10 countries producing research in this field, the United States led with 4092 publications between 2013 and 2022. China, ranking fourth in terms of publications, emerged as the most prolific developing nation (328). However, compared to the United States, China lagged behind in publications and international collaboration. Therefore, China needs to expand its research efforts in this area and broaden its international partnerships. The top ten research institutions, mainly universities, played a vital role in advancing this field. Notably, nine out of ten of these institutions were located in the United States, further highlighting the preeminent position of American academic institutions in this area of study.

In the current study, we have discovered noteworthy findings regarding notable authors in the field of romantic love. The research studies have primarily focused on four distinct perspectives: the Limerence Theory, the Rate of Change in Intimacy Model, the Self-Expansion Model, and the Triangular Theory of Love. These perspectives have proposed four possible sources of romantic passion and assessed empirical evidence for and against each. Among the authors, Emily A. Impett has emerged as the most prolific author (Carswell and Impett 2021 ). Frank D. Fincham, who has the highest H-index, has conducted extensive research on the interplay between mindfulness and idiosyncratic mindfulness in romantic relationships. Notably, his research on adolescent intimate partner violence has received the most citations (Cui et al. 2013 ; Frank and Ross 2017 ; Kimmes et al. 2018 ). Furthermore, we found that an author’s centrality and citation frequency did not always correlate with their number of publications, indicating that various factors had contributed to an author’s academic influence (Zhang et al. 2022a ).

The term “burst term” refers to a term that unexpectedly appears in research and may indicate new directions or a novel perspective derived from research (Xu et al. 2022 ). According to Fig. 8 , the following references experienced a citation burst by the end of 2022: (1) Mikulincer and Shaver ( 2016 ) delved into the causes and measures of individual differences in adult attachment, explored the modifiability of attachment styles, and unveiled cutting-edge research in genetics, neurology, and hormones associated with attachment. They also extended the impact model’s depiction of the attachment system’s operation. (2) Wincentak et al. ( 2017 ) conducted a meta-analysis to investigate the prevalence of dating violence among adolescents of various genders, while also examining the potential impact of age, demographic factors, and measurement methods. Their findings suggested that the rate of perpetration of dating violence was significantly higher among male adolescents than female adolescents. In other words, male adolescents were more likely to engage in dating violence than their female counterparts. This gender difference in dating violence rates highlighted the need for targeted prevention and intervention efforts to address this issue among young people.

CiteSpace displayed keywords in bursts, as shown in Fig. 9 . These data were significant for reference in cutting-edge prediction research. The terms “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships” might be used frequently in the coming years, indicating potential areas of focus within the domain of romantic love:

Same-sex: same-sex relationships faced unique pressures and stigma in a society that largely valued heterosexual partnerships, leading to feelings of shame and additional stressors based on sexual orientation (Feinstein et al. 2018 ; Rostosky and Riggle 2017 ). Notably, studies have revealed that the online behavior of gay individuals could significantly impact their emotional well-being and sexual risk behaviors within their romantic relationships (Zhang et al. 2022b ). To improve the health and well-being of same-sex couples and their families, effective dual interventions have been developed, including educating parents about the potential harm caused by heteronormative assumptions and attitudes on their children’s adolescent development (Pearson and Wilkinson 2013 ).

Conflict resolution: prior research has revealed the paradox that a person’s beloved partner, such as their significant other, is often the individual with whom they engage in harmful behavior during conflicts. The negative reaction could be one of the most challenging issues in a relationship (Alonso-Ferres et al. 2021 ). Therefore, it is imperative to resolve conflicts in a successful manner. Computer-mediated communication (CMC) has emerged as a novel approach to conflict resolution, and researchers have investigated this matter, concluding that there are no disparities in the levels of pain, anger, and conflict resolution between face-to-face and CMC discussions (Pollmann et al. 2020 ). Another study explored the neural mechanisms during conflict resolution, and researchers discovered that mediation could improve conflict resolution and was linked to elevated activity in the nucleus accumbens, a crucial area in the brain’s reward circuit (Rafi et al. 2020 ).

Social relationships: long-term relationships play a critical role in maintaining the mental health of both humans and animals. Positive emotions and emotional experiences, such as romantic or platonic love, are intricately linked to the formation and sustenance of social bonds. To gain insights into how social emotions manifest in both humans and animals, researchers integrated brain imaging studies of emotions associated with social connections (Zablocki-Thomas et al. 2022 ). From an ecological and cross-cutting perspective, another study found that Black Americans viewed their partner’s interactions around discrimination as an opportunity for their romantic partner to provide support, as revealed in semi-structured interviews (Rice 2023 ). Furthermore, given the unique nature of romantic relationships in social interactions, researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) techniques to investigate the neurobiological mechanisms of such relationships (Eckstein et al. 2023 ), which could serve as a reference for the preservation and cultivation of social relationships.

To our knowledge, our study represented a novel application of quantitative bibliometric tools such as CiteSpace and VOSviewer to analyze the literature on romantic love over the past decade. While our analysis yielded intriguing insights into the research landscape of this field, our study was not without limitations. First and foremost, our sample was limited to articles and reviews available in a single database, and thus, may not have been fully representative of the entire research landscape on this topic. Second, the current study restricted our data collection to English-language publications, and future studies may benefit from including publications in other languages to ensure a more comprehensive analysis. Additionally, including different types of publications, such as conference papers and working papers, might have provided further insights into recent advancements in the field. Furthermore, it could be acknowledged that the analysis in the current study could be expanded to consider the contributions of other scholars and institutions in the field, beyond those captured by our data set. Finally, while the bibliometric tools used in our analysis were objective, our interpretation of the results remained subjective and may have been subject to varying interpretations.

Concluding remarks

Research significance and future development.

The present study’s comprehensive analysis of the literature on romantic love, as well as its reporting of research findings across diverse domains over the past decade, offered a solid groundwork for future research and potential worldwide applications. From 2013 to 2022, a staggering 6858 articles and reviews on romantic love were published globally, indicating a bright future for this field of inquiry. In terms of research potency, the United States led the pack, with the University of California System accounting for the majority of publications in the area of romantic love, and Emily A. Impett ranking as the most prolific contributor. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships had published the most articles on romantic love research, while the most recent trends in romantic love-related keywords included “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships.” The current research was predominantly centered around intimate relationships, evolutionary psychology, sexual orientation, and symptoms of depression. The trends elucidated by these findings underscore the holistic and interdisciplinary nature of romantic love within the realms of psychology, sociology, biology, and neuroscience. Subsequent investigations into romantic love hold the promise of a more profound amalgamation of methodologies derived from psychology and neuroscience, thereby illuminating the physiological underpinnings of love and emotional experiences. This prospect entails a meticulous exploration of brain activity, probing how intricate psychological processes intertwine with biology to forge the intricacies of romantic relationships. Furthermore, romantic love research stands poised to cultivate seamless integration and interdisciplinary cooperation across a spectrum of fields in the future, yielding profound ramifications.

Method limitation

The current study, which utilized tools such as CiteSpace and Vosviewer for a quantitative analysis of the literature on romantic love over the past 10 years, is the first of its kind to our knowledge. Our investigation, though producing intriguing results through bibliometric analysis and visualization of related articles, is not without its limitations. Firstly, the samples utilized were limited to a single database (WOS), which may not encompass all relevant publications on the subject. Secondly, the scope of our data collection was limited to articles and reviews in English only, leaving out potential information from other types of publications such as working papers and conference papers. In future studies, a broader consideration of different languages should also be given. Additionally, the neural mechanism and physiological function of romantic love remain an under-researched area with limited empirical evidence to support ongoing controversy.

Data availability

Original data for the current study are available via this link: https://rec.ustc.edu.cn/share/0d874150-b039-11ee-be97-f5a41b2eeb6e .

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This research was supported by the Starting Fund for Scientific Research of High-Level Talents at Anhui Agricultural University (rc432206) and the Outstanding Youth Program of Philosophy and Social Sciences in Anhui Province (2022AH030089) to SL.

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Han, Y., Luo, Y., Chen, Z. et al. A decade of love: mapping the landscape of romantic love research through bibliometric analysis. Humanit Soc Sci Commun 11 , 187 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1057/s41599-024-02665-7

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For centuries, people have tried to understand the behaviors and beliefs associated with falling in love. What explains the wide range of emotions people experience? How have notions of romance evolved over time? As digital media becomes a permanent fixture in people’s lives, how have these technologies changed how people meet?

Examining some of these questions are Stanford scholars.

From the historians who traced today’s ideas of romance to ancient Greek philosophy and Arab lyric poetry, to the social scientists who have examined the consequences of finding love through an algorithm, to the scientists who study the love hormone oxytocin, here is what their research reveals about matters of the heart.

The evolution of romance

How romantic love is understood today has several historical origins, says Robert Pogue Harrison , the Rosina Pierotti Professor in Italian Literature and a scholar of romance studies.

For example, the idea of finding one’s other half dates back to ancient Greek mythology, Harrison said. According to Aristophanes in Plato’s Symposium , humans were once complete, “sphere-like creatures” until the Greek gods cut them in half. Ever since, individuals have sought after their other half.

Here are some of those origin stories, as well as other historical perspectives on love and romance, including what courtship looked like in medieval Germany and in Victorian England, where humor and innuendo broke through the politics of the times.

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Love in the digital age

Where do people find love today? According to recent research by sociologist Michael Rosenfeld , meeting online is now the most popular way to meet a partner. 

“The rise of the smartphone took internet dating off the desktop and put it in everyone’s pocket, all the time,” said Rosenfeld. He found that 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their significant other online, compared to 22 percent in 2009. 

As people increasingly find connections online, their digital interactions can provide insight into people’s preferences in a partner. 

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Give your sweetheart mushrooms this Valentine’s Day, says Stanford scientist

A romantic evening of chocolate and wine would not be possible without an assist from fungi, says Stanford biology professor Kabir Peay. In fact, truffles might be the ultimate romantic gift, as they exude pheromones that can attract female mammals.

Love takes up where pain leaves off, brain study shows

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Romantic Love and Maternal Love

The concept of romantic love.

Romantic love is a pleasurable and expressing feeling of an emotional attraction between two people. Romantic love involves the expressions of feelings of individuals and their emotional desires to bond with another person. Love makes people feel appreciated, admired, and happy in their lifetime. Also, love makes individuals feel valued and secure. According to attachment theory, the development of romantic love requires certain components. It requires sexual attraction and attachment between the two partners. Romantic love requires attraction and attachment through which affection bond is developed between lovers. Partners get a physical sense of connection even if they are a distance apart. For example, attachment in a relationship can be thinking and missing the beloved partner when he/she is at a different geographical place. Also, attraction makes lovers to share their thoughts and feelings. Additionally, lovers are normally attuned to the feelings and characters of each other. Therefore, it can also be noted that attunement, attachment, and attraction are the basic components that define romantic love.

The major factors that affect romantic relationships are the ability to love and being committed. Partners interact on a regular basis and end up changing their feelings towards each other. This affects the way a person loves his/her partner and his/her commitment to the relationship.

People in a romantic relationship can recognize if their relationship is declining or diminishing if they start experiencing a sense of disillusionment. Lovers may become more critical towards one another or become quickly irritated at issues that did not bother them previously in their relationship. Also, the declining relationship could be identified if the partners become impatient with each other, and change their feelings towards each other.

Relating Romantic Love and Maternal Love

Maternal love is typically the relationship between a parent and a child. The development of these forms of love involves physical and emotional elements. These factors influence the bonding process both romantic and maternal love, and this forms the relationship between the two forms of love. As people live together, they continually interact, socialize, and develop their social relationships. These forms of relationships are common in both romantic and maternal love and are essential for the development of any relationship. The parents’ love for their children or the romantic love that exists among lovers is unconditional. Despite challenges, arguments, or life-changing decisions, the amount of love and existing bonds are likely to remain unchanged in both forms of love.

Social scientists have recognized the significant roles that love plays in human lives and have theorized about its nature. For example, in romantic love, a person feels loved and appreciated by his/her partner. Similarly, with maternal love, a child feels the love of his or her parents when she/he receives care and company from them. These components of love such as care and appreciation are the motivational factors essential in both romantic and maternal relationships.

Also, the two forms of relationships involving some levels of human attachment. However, the degree of attachment varies significantly in these two forms of love. The way a child gets attracted and attached to his/her parent may not be similar to the case of intimate relationships. Therefore, it can be concluded that attachment is evident in both types of love and it brings partners together. Human attachment bonds individuals through close contacts as people interact and communicate with each other.

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Inspirationfeed

Inspiring and educating bright minds.

71 Touching Love Paragraphs for Her

Love is the greatest of all human emotions. Indeed, he who has a girlfriend has one of life’s most precious possessions. However, keeping a girlfriend demands that you remain true and sensitive to her needs. Since you are the most cherished person in her life, your girl deserves your unrequited love and undivided attention.

Table of Contents

You may consider spoiling her with romantic gifts or taking her on vacation to enchanting faraway destinations. While all these are invaluable in making the relationship grow fonder, nothing delights your girlfriend more than a love message that expresses how passionately you value her. And the convention is that the longer the message, the better it captures your deep sense of appreciation.

Love Paragraphs for Her

Let’s explore some of the cutest love messages you can send to your cute, little flower to strengthen the bonds of love that already exists between the two of you.

1. A day that is void of your voice is to mean an incomplete one. For with your voice comes the soul melting laughter which is all I need to have a great and happy day. I hope mine makes you feel the same way. I love you my Cherie.

2. Before I met you, I didn’t think love was for me. It was something other people had and felt. Something in movies and in TV shows. It felt more like a wish I had then something real. Now that I’m with you, love is so much more tangible. It’s something I can reach out and touch. It’s so much more than a wish or a hope (though it does give me hope, for so many things), it’s the very real, wonderful person I wake up to. The warm hand next to mine, the brush of hair against my cheek. I love you and because of that love, I love so much more than you. I love myself and the world in a way I never thought possible. You’ve made that possible for me. You’ve made everything possible.

3. Even when we know that nothing in this world is eternal, I know deep down that you and I will live together till eternity. I will love you forever, and I will never fall out of love with you. I am always here to be your lover until the end of time.

4. Every day is a celebration of having you in my life. I thank God for making it possible for us to cross the path right from the beginning because that was where my life gained so much impact on your love. I can’t love you enough because you are a precious jewel in my world.

5. Everything you do… The way you eat, the way you smile, the way my name rolls off of your tongue… That all is what keeps me going. It gives me so much joy to watch you be you. I would never give my attention to anyone else because I love giving it to you. The day when you were born, it was raining. Actually, it wasn’t raining itself, but heaven was crying for losing the most beautiful angel!

6. I can create another odyssey describing my love for you. You have such a profound influence in my life that I cannot erase the memories of you even if I live for a million years. I am lucky to be part of your life. I will love you till my last breath!

7. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate having you in my life. For helping me through the bad times and being there to help me celebrate the good times, I cherish all of the moments that we share together. There aren’t enough words in the dictionary for me to tell you how glad I am to have you in my life. I am so lucky to have you by my side. Everything you do for me never goes unnoticed. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as wonderful as you, but I am eternally grateful to have your love, support, and affection. Thank you for being you, and for having me by your side.

8. Life offers many choices to make, but loving you is the only thing I wish to do. I want to spend my entire existence showing you how much you have impacted my life. Hand-in-hand, I will prove to you that my life is better with you in it. For the sake of your love, I am ready to face whatever it takes to make you smile at all times. I will love you until I am no more because your love is my greatest wealth.

9. Love is not something that you can express in words. Love is something that is expressed by actions and felt with the heart. I don’t know how much loved I make you feel but trust me, dear, you are the most precious thing in my life. I love you!

10. My most beloved woman. Without you, I do not exist. I need you and you alone to survive the storms of life. You are such a perfect woman for me. I could barely meet someone better than you. You’re the meaning of a great experience, and I can’t love you less.

11. My world feels dark when you’re not here. Even when I’m out under a cloudless sky, it feels like there’s a haze over everything. Before you, the world was filled with so many lights, streetlights, stars, the moon, and the sun. Now it feels like you are the brightest light in my life. It would explain why I feel so warm around you, how you provide me with the energy and the strength to persevere through my darkest hours. You also shine brilliantly enough that I know I’ll always be able to find my way back to you.

12. One paragraph is not enough for me to tell you just how much you mean to me. It would take me thousands of pages to tell you just how much I love you. If I spent the rest of eternity writing, I still could not accurately portray how amazing you are and all of the reasons why I love you .

13. Our love is something that is truly special and there is no other love like ours in the world. I feel as if I have won the lottery with you, someone who is so special and magical, who makes my life and my world a thousand times better just by being there. When I look at you, I know that I have truly hit the jackpot. All you have to do in order to warm my heart is to be the loving, caring person that you are. Together, we can do so much and help each other realize our dreams because we truly have a love that is special.

14. Seeing you every day is a blessing because my heart bubbles with excitement when anything reminds me of you. I am filled with great joy whenever the thought of you crosses my mind. I do not understand why, but I can’t stop looking at you. I admire your beauty a lot, and it is one thing that strikes me. You own my heart, and I want your heart forever.

15. Sometimes when I look at the ocean or an especially large mountain range, I feel overwhelmed and small, but in a good way. It’s comforting to know there’s something out there bigger than I am. Something large and enduring that has lasted through the ages. Through harsh weather, storms and droughts, through changes in history and climate , the ocean keeps on rolling and the mountains keep on standing tall. When I think of you and our love and how I feel about you, I feel the same way. My love for you doesn’t make me feel small though, it makes me feel powerful and new. I look at you and I know that I will love you forever, through storms and droughts, through all the changes that will undoubtedly come our way. I will love you forever. There’s no changing that.

16. The first day we met was the best day of my life. I found the source of life, joy, and happiness. You are my inspiration, and I love you beyond words can explain, baby. I know that the world is waiting for our union. It will be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

17. Watching you walk across a room is the greatest gift. The way you move is so graceful and easy. The way you smile makes me feel at peace. Knowing you’re walking towards me is a feeling so hard to describe. It’s like coming home, a comfort, only the home is coming to me. I will never know such love, such peace, as you. You’re my home.

18. Whenever we are apart, have it in mind that you are always in my heart. I take the memories we create with me everywhere I go. I miss you, my love and I want you to know that gaining your appreciation is my most significant feat.

19. When I first saw you, I was attracted by your beautiful face and your charming smile. But it was the beauty of your heart that I fell for. I found an angel in you that is more amazing than what’s visible from outside.

20. When you are around me, my world turns around, and I feel your passion swell up inside my heart. I love you because when I lose control of myself, you pull closer. You are the sun in my sky, without you I’d be in darkness. I will love you until there is no love left in the world.

21. Words may fail to express how much I love you but my deeds will never fail to show my love for you. I loved you yesterday, love you today and will love you until there’s no tomorrow!

22. You are more beautiful than a summer sunset on the ocean horizon. You are more breathtaking than the lush landscape on a mountain. You shine brighter than the stars in the country sky. You are more alluring than any song that was ever sung. I had not seen what the real meaning of beauty was until I found you.

23. You are my match made in heaven. There is never a second where you aren’t there to lift me up when I need you to. I am so fortunate to have crossed paths with you in the beginning. It has brought us to this beautiful point in our lives. You are everything I could ever want in a woman. I will never want anything or anyone else. That I can promise.

24. You are the sunshine that fades all the darkness in my life. You are my road to redemption. I have never loved someone so deeply than you. I love you more than I can say. Nothing can ever change my love for you!

25. Your love attacked my body and melted my soul. If ever two were one, then I plus you will be one. Your love gives me delight than a whole bag of gold. I will love you forever.

26. Your love makes my world glow. It makes the sunrise, the winds to blow and the rain to fall. This love is beautiful because even if the sun rises, the wind blows and the rain falls on me, my love will forever be yours.

27. Your love sneaked up sleeves. Without any direction, it tiptoes gently, slowly and straight to my heart. I never bargained for its dominant grip on my heart. Now I’m helplessly under your control. You must be a magician because I don’t want to get your love off my heart.

28. Your never-ending love was all I needed to make my dark world glow. Your love is so fascinating because you gathered and mended my broken heart together into one piece with your sweet love. My purpose was undefined, but I am gingered to keep living. You gave my life meaning. You loved me until I can stand to live another day. I love you, and I will always do, until the end of time.

29. You’ve lit a fire in me. It’s a passion that grows with each passing day. Just when I think I get used to my love for you, you’ll do something small and amazing. Maybe you’ll make me laugh, or say something so smart it makes me see the world in a new way, and suddenly there it is again—that rush of emotion, of love, that comes over me so swiftly it’s like a wildfire in my soul. I hope you know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, and how excited I am to walk through this life with you.

30. You’re my best friend. The person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and last person I want to talk to before I drift off to sleep. When something good happens to me, you’re the first person I want to tell. When I’m troubled by something or if I get bad news, you’re the one I go to for comfort and support. But you’re so much more to me than a friend, you’re the love of my life. You’re my friend, my lover, my comfort and my strength. I am so lucky to have you. I just wanted you to know how happy I am to have you in my life.

31. You are my happiness the only treasure I adore with a complete passion. Since the day you came into my world; my life has never remained the same. You brought an endless smile to my face, amazing joy to my heart, baby I love you!

32. My love for you has no beginning and no end. It is cyclical, like life. It is ever-flowing, like the oceans. [And} It is as boundless as the sky and as vast as the universe. When I see your face, I see my past, my present, my future. When I hold your hand I feel everything inside of me expand. You are my everything. I will love you forever.

33. Because of you, I have understood how powerful loving is. You truly made me realize the real meaning of romantic love. Thank you for being wonderful, understanding, and loving to me. You always inspire me to be better. You are my life, baby.

34. I thought that loving someone wholeheartedly and feeling the same amount of affection only happens in movies until I met you. Thank you for all the care and appreciation you have given me. I cannot help but wonder what I ever did to deserve you. I am the luckiest man in the world because I have you.

35. Your beauty is like a ray of sunshine that can bring brightness anywhere. Your beautiful smile never fails to make my heart melt . My dear, thank you for being a fantastic person inside and out. You are the best person in my life now.

36. I know I might not be the perfect man, but you know that I will do everything and anything for you. You are my everything. You are a blessing, so I am beyond grateful for sending someone as wonderful as you.

37. You came into my life when I least expected it. I never imagined that someone like you can make my world a better place. I am thankful that you came into my life, babe. Each moment that we shared is a memory I treasure . You are the most important person in my life.

38. I believe that meeting and being together are not accidents. Even before we met, I knew that our love story had been written. I thank the Lord from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to meet you. I hope that you feel every day how important you are to me.

39. I knew someone should have warned me from falling deeply in love with you. Now, I feel my soul is connected to yours that I will be very lost if I did not love you. What I feel for you is something genuine. Your happiness is my happiness, and your sadness is my sadness.

40. I find your eyes mesmerizing and powerful. When I look at them, I feel a lot of peace, happiness, and hope. I guess you make me feel alive. The joy I feel with you is always with me. Because of the peacefulness, I feel like I am in heaven when you are beside me.

41. My darling, no one brings as much happiness to my life as you. In your company, I find love that I have never known before. I can’t imagine what my life would be without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You have given me so much love and encouragement that I don’t think I will be able to return all that to you. You have been lighting up the dark and bringing joy to my heart. When I am with you I feel alive and strong.

42. Honey, you know that with you by my side, my day seems brighter and full of love. When I first saw you, I just wanted to be with you, to hug and kiss you until we both ran out of breath. I must be the luckiest man in the world because I have your love. Every time I think about you, I can’t help but smile. You’re the reason I smile all the time now. I love you, Honey. I heard that you cherish everything between you and me. That’s really great. I never thought I would have such a lasting influence on you.

43. I love us. We’re the cutest. I know that sounds braggy, but I mean it when I say that I think we make the perfect couple. We understand each other. We listen to each other. We inspire each other to become stronger with each passing day. Happy anniversary . I cannot wait to spend another year alongside you, because there is no place I would rather be. You’re stuck with me. You better remember that!

44. I know I am bad at expressing my love but I want to do this. You have changed me for real. You have changed something inside me, I don’t think I was used to this before I met you. I was so lost in my thoughts, you have made me realise the power of my thoughts. You have had the most magical effect on my life. When I am with you I don’t think about anything else but your love. I want to truly confess my love to you, you have been the most important part of my life and will remain in time. I truly love you!

45. What we have together is unique. It is a special bond that is strong and unbreakable. We can make it through anything we encounter and we will only grow stronger from the trials we face together. Together, we are stronger. Being with you has made me a better person and I can’t believe that I found you. Ever since I met you, I never want to let you go. The attraction that you and I share is one that is so intense and I never want to be separated from you.

46. There are a thousand ways to say I love you around the world, but only one way to prove it and that is by actions. You have proved that you love me unconditionally time and again. You were that one person who was by my side when all the world was against me. I have known ever since that day that you were the one for me. I try to love you and take care of you as much and as well as I can. I hope you know that I have the best intentions always, so forgive me if I ever hurt you or caused you pain. I love you for now until forever and will never leave your side.

47. My life would have been so different had you not been there with me. You have filled every corner of my heart with your love. You have showered me with so much care and affection that I feel I must have done something right in my life to deserve you.

48. When you hold my hand, when you kiss me, and when you hug me, I feel like I am the most fortunate person in this world. There is something so magical about the love we both have for each other because it brings me immense joy. I am glad that our paths crossed and we fell in love.

49. Just a little reminder that when I am with you, I wish that time passes more slowly, because I want to make the most of every moment I live with you. You are the most special present from the Almighty, and I am fortunate that you are mine. I promise to love you till eternity.

50. Until I met you, I had no idea that life could be full of happiness. There are so many new things and feelings that I have experienced with you. You brought into my life so much warmth and love that I have learned to live a life beyond my insecurities. You have become my biggest strength and my most precious asset. I will love you till my last breath, and I will always stand by you till eternity.

51. There is nothing I want more from this life because I have got you. The only wish I have is that I always have you with me in each moment, sharing all of my joys and sorrows. All I want is to start my day with your smile and end it with your warmth and love. I pray that our bond of love is always blessed and we stay together forever and ever.

52. I love you so much that you are always in my thoughts, no matter what I am doing. I always think about the beautiful memories we have created together, and I want to make many more lovely moments. You are the best thing that has happened to me, and I thank you for all the love you have brought into my life. Thank you for making me a fortunate man.

53. I was convinced that love is blind because someone as gorgeous as you fell in love with someone like me. But whatever be the case, I feel that I am truly fortunate that you have accepted my love. Thank you for being there for me and for being my rock. With you I feel like one in a million.

54.  Love of my life , You are the first thing I think of when I wake up and I’m looking forward to a life where I will wake up next to you, not needing to imagine you, because you will be sleeping right there next to me.

55. To my soulmate, I love you. I love you. I love you. I can never say those three words enough and unfortunately, I feel like you haven’t heard them at all lately. I’m sorry about that. I’ve been so overwhelmed with work that I haven’t had the time to give you much attention, but that will change soon. Do you know why? Because I love you. I love you. I love you.

56. I’ll love you like I’ve never been hurt. I’ll make you feel good like life has never been bad. It pays to be in love with you. I’ll give the only love I have in me to you. I’ll show you that my smile belongs to you, that my loyalty is with you and my dream is about you. I would fly a plane just to reach you faster, I’ll adorn you with the finest things in life. Because of you, I’ll make my life about love and whenever you say you love me I’ll fall in love with you all over again. My love, never listen to naysayers.

57. I wanna live on an island with you, protected from the intrusion of naysayers, an island of peace, with the serenity of our love flowing upon the waters. It’s not just a wish but it’s a dream I hope to make true with you, by building a home of peace filled with love, protected by the giant walls of trust, serenaded by my commitment all day and night. Baby, cause I love you.

58. This journey isn’t always easy, but you have stuck by my side from the first day. I no longer live for myself because everything you do gives my life purpose. I live for us and our deep connection.

59.  I asked God to send me the best girlfriend in the world, but He sent me a wonderful woman , who has become my true friend, a passionate lover, a caring partner, and the one without whom I cannot live! Thank you for being in my life.

60. I will always pray for that moment that I’ll be the last person you will kiss goodnight, hug at midnight when It’s cold, and wake up to a good morning hug. I want to exist for your love, because life has a different meaning with you in my life. I can’t wait to have you as my wife officially.

61. Some people are lucky enough to be able to put their emotions down on paper. Nevertheless, I will try my best to convey to you the depth of my ferocious love for you. The route of my life changed since the day I met you. You bring out the best in me. Your love gives me wings. Never have I ever been able to show gratitude for the small things in life; the warm showers, the scent of freshly washed linens, the aroma of oven-baked cookies, a food full of table, and everything in between. Thank you for blessing my soul. You may be a human being to the rest of the world, but to me, you are an angel. 

62. You are no ordinary person. You may think you’re ordinary, but that would also change if I told you the manner in which you have bewitched my mind, body, and soul. You are the reaping essence of spring’s first bloom. Your soft, soothing voice and beautiful smile make my day so much brighter. Your caressing touch makes me want to reside in your subtle embrace forever. Your presence in my life is what makes it lively and whole. You are wonderful; I love you.

63. I did not know about luck until you came into my life. But now I do. I am lucky to embrace you in my arms every night. Waking up next to you in the morning is the best feeling in the world. Your laughter is my kryptonite; I’d do anything for you to make you smile. Your teary-eyed face tugs on my heartstrings ever so badly. My world has started to revolve around you. I am so lucky to call you mine. 

64. Everything else becomes irrelevant when I’m with you. Your presence is so soothing, and I yearn for it everywhere I go. What is it about you that has made me lose interest in everything else? You have captured my attention, and I will forever be in awe of your charisma. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

65. Let’s go somewhere quiet, where the background noise of this world can not penetrate our silent whispers and ardent telepathy. I want us to rediscover ourselves and breathe life into this new chapter of our life where we’re madly in love with each other. I want to take you away from here and never see you cry again. Let’s start this new phase in life somewhere only we know. 

66. I never thought I could become someone’s need or desire. You make me feel so loved, so wanted. I love the way I feel when I’m with you. No barriers, no insecurities, no toxicity. Everything negative that this world gave to me, you took it away. You make my worries disappear. Thank you for being the light in my life.

67. I love our energy when we’re together. It’s like nothing else in the world matters. It’s just us, our romantic kisses, our tight cuddles, and immense laughter. I could have lived through a thousand life cycles but could have never found a woman as lovely as you. Thank you for enlightening my life forever. 

68. Everything that I used to do alone is a thousand times better when I do it with you. Sneaking in bed with our favorite snacks and watching decade-old movies has now become a weekend ritual I look forward to all week. I enjoy cooking with you, especially when we’re making comfort food to sit out the cold, rainy days. I love cuddling with you at night; our bodies wrapped around each tightly feels surreal. You’ve made my life a fantasy movie in motion. I love life because of you. I love you.

69. It’s not possible to give love when you’ve got none for yourself. You came into my life at an hour that was dark and melancholic. How you managed to make me fall in love with myself is a miracle. You’re a blessing in disguise, and I just want you to know that you have made my life absolutely amazing.

70. I just want you to know that your aura is so radiant. You have a beaming smile, and your face glows like you’ve been sent from the heavens above. Everywhere you go, you bring a smile to people’s faces. You’re not only beautiful from the outside but from within as well. Your soft corner for the needy and poor is such a rarity. You are indeed a blessing in disguise. You are my favorite muse and my most cherished possession. I love having you in my life.

71. It’s about time someone told you how amazing you are. I used to be a different person before I met you. I didn’t like myself, and I failed to see the good in others. With you, I see everything bright and colorful, even if it is sparse. My life no longer suffers in a monochrome filter, for you have filled it with every color in this universe. You brought me warmth when I was cold, you brought me love when I least deserved it, and you set ablaze a desire within me that brings me nearer to you by the passing minute. I love you.

Evidently, there are more than enough love messages you can write to your girlfriend to prove that you love and adore her. Charm your dear one today by implementing some of the love messages we’ve reviewed here, and watch your relationship scale to new heights.

Posted by: Igor Ovsyannnykov

Igor is an SEO specialist, designer, photographer, writer and music producer. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading books, taking photos, producing house music, and learning about cinematography. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games.

Friday essay: ‘My family are always trying to buy us a house.’ We asked couples how class affects their relationships

Senior Lecturer, Macquarie School of Social Sciences, Macquarie University

Senior Research Fellow, Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University

Disclosure statement

Rose Butler has received funding from the Australian Research Council.

Eve Vincent does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Macquarie University and Deakin University provide funding as members of The Conversation AU.

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When Patrick first held a driver’s licence, his P-plates, he drove a beaten-up car “almost as old as myself”. If police didn’t pull him over once a month, he’d be surprised.

His older brother’s girlfriend, “an upper-class girl”, was once pulled over while on her P-plates while driving a new car, having forgotten to put her lights on. The officer told her in a friendly voice, “You should probably put your lights on.” She had responded mildly with, “Oh, cool, sorry.” Meanwhile, in a similar situation, Patrick had been charged over an insignificant technicality to do with displaying his P-plates.

“Just the expectation from me of dealing with authorities is … I have to toe the line,” he told us, “my expectations are I’m going to get slammed by them.”

When we spoke to Patrick, he was in his thirties. Now, he was a computer programmer, living a comfortable life. But throughout his childhood, Patrick, who is white, shouldered significant responsibilities amid severe material deprivation – he recalled going hungry, for instance.

His girlfriend, Felicia, grew up in the “upper class end of things” in the quiet south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Her dad was a doctor and her mum assisted with the practice. She and her siblings attended the local private school because, Felicia believed, her parents wanted her to associate with “the right people”. She described her family background as Jewish, English and “brown”, and her childhood as a “very happy time”.

Patrick told us Felicia can “talk her way out of” situations with authorities. “She can always explain the situation and get leeway.” He sees a big difference between them around “expectation”: of their treatment in the world and their place within it.

These divergent expectations reached into various aspects of their shared lives. “Dealing with things like real estate agents or businesses or whatever, she’s always got the expectation that something can be worked out.” Put another way, Patrick felt Felicia’s view of the world was, “What she wants can be got.”

Patrick, conversely, described how he couldn’t “shake” the feeling he needed to always have “everything in line”. If he was submitting a rental application for a house, for example, he took care to have all the documentation watertight and in hand. This is much easier to accomplish now he is earning a high wage as a programmer and living a settled life. Yet he still carries a somewhat amorphous anxiety, steeped in his class experience. “If I have one thing wrong, that one thing’s going to trip me up.”

Love across class

We spent two years interviewing 38 people about their experiences of love and class: members of 15 couples, plus eight women whose partners declined to take part.

When we asked about our interviewees’ cultural backgrounds, their descriptions included “white”, “mixed race”, “brown”, Aboriginal, Jewish, Vietnamese, Sri Lankan, English, Māori and Turkish.

What happens, we wanted to know, when people form a romantic relationship across class?

We were attracted to this question after a project where we’d interviewed parents about the changing multicultural dynamics of their local public schools and neighbourhoods. We noticed it was relatively easy for white, middle-class parents to recognise, feel positive about and know what to say about forming connections across “ethnic” difference in their school communities.

But they felt differently about their children forming friendships across class: this was far less appealing and more actively avoided. Many struggled to find a vocabulary to talk about the nature of class differences. These were communicated using other words, like “values” and “rough”.

We decided to embark on new research together, with “class” as an explicit focus. We interviewed people who perceived their class background, or “class origin”, to be different to their partner’s.

Many interviewees expressed relief and even catharsis in discussing class and its significance to their partnership – and their relationship to the world more broadly. We also talked with couples who felt confused about the role class difference played in their relationship, but sensed it was something they were grappling with. This was especially the case when people hailed from migrant or transnational backgrounds, or had experienced upward social mobility.

Two of our interviewees were hesitant to use the language of class: they worried it involved judgement and betrayal of their faith in meritocracy and individual character.

Class, we learned, manifests in subtle and not-so-subtle ways in these partnerships.

A similar place ‘from very different directions’

Patrick had spent his childhood moving up and down the east coast, “just random places”. His dad did “manual labour of various sorts” before a car accident wrecked his left arm. He did work “every so often” throughout his childhood, but was “mostly unemployed”. In his adulthood, Patrick’s parents separated and his mum started working in aged care.

Felicia told us Patrick was not a “man child”, unlike “so many of the people that I grew up with”. His maturity was very attractive to her, and she described him as “very emotionally intelligent”. As a child, Patrick’s family visited op shops to buy clothes, books and old computers. He talked about slowly building a nourishing life as he recovers from the psychic pain caused, in part, by abject childhood poverty.

Felicia says she and Patrick have arrived at a similar place “from very different directions”. She has come to feel increasingly “alienated” from “a lot of assumptions about lifestyle and money” she grew up with.

While her old school friends have mortgages and expensive cars bought with the “equity from those mortgages”, she rents in a lively, friendly neighbourhood and engages in just enough locum work as a doctor to sustain her lifestyle. She greatly values her spare time.

Felicia and Patrick’s close bond and respect for each other was clear to us. Yet Patrick also emphasised that his wounds remain raw, as he delved into the dynamics of their cross-class relationship.

Class is ‘one of our biggest issues’

Another couple, Caleb and Jacinta, described the class dynamics of their relationship in ways that echo Patrick and Felicia’s. However, they described a more pointed, building tension.

Jacinta, who grew up with far fewer opportunities and choices than Caleb, described class as “one of our biggest issues”.

Caleb is a white university student in his thirties from inner-city Melbourne, the sole child of “two detached lawyers”. Jacinta, who works as a TV producer, described herself as being from a “mixed” ethnic background. Her mum was a cleaner and her stepdad a security guard.

Caleb is “pathologically indifferent” to money, he told us. In their spacious inner-city apartment, Caleb appreciated both minimalism and quality. He enjoyed shopping at the local, pricier shops, rather than the supermarket where things were cheaper, and his approach to paying bills on time was relaxed. He explained with self-deprecating humour that he was “raised in the lap of luxury”, “firmly ensconced in the most comfortable class”.

“The class thing” had been at the forefront of Jacinta’s mind for a while, she told us. Despite Caleb’s family’s affluence, their wealth hadn’t been apparent to Jacinta in the early days of their relationship. Of course, she’d known Caleb’s family had money: their “nice house” was in “a very fancy part of town”, with “libraries of books on the walls”.

But they also actively obscured the advantages their wealth afforded them, and they loathed obvious displays of wealth. For Jacinta, who grew up under very different financial circumstances, this contradiction was difficult to grasp. Her in-laws lived a seemingly understated life, but one that was expensive to sustain.

Jacinta’s mum was 16 when Jacinta was born and later partnered with a man who also had a child and who already owned a house. Jacinta lived out the rest of her childhood with her mum, stepdad and three siblings in suburban Melbourne. Her mum was a primary carer and worked as a cleaner when she could. Her stepdad was a security guard. The family “sacrificed” so Jacinta and her siblings could play netball and gymnastics, although things like school camps were too expensive. Jacinta left school at 17, but eventually found her passion working as a producer in TV.

Once they moved in together, Caleb and Jacinta’s very different day-to-day approaches to financial matters became a hindrance and they found themselves frequently clashing over things “as basic as the food shopping every week”. On the one hand, Jacinta budgeted and planned. Caleb, on the other, reflected that he had “been kind of coasting” through life and wasn’t worried about money or accumulating it. “I’ve never really given a shit about that because it’s always been drummed into me that I don’t really need to.”

Different views on home ownership

It was the question of home ownership, and its relationship to growing wealth inequality , that really illustrated to them both how their differently classed childhoods had shaped their different relationships to money as adults – or their “different views of its possibility”, as Jacinta expressed it.

The role of intergenerational wealth in securing access to home ownership is frequently discussed in Australia. Owning assets today can pay more than working for wages, making intergenerational transfers of wealth a key mechanism in the 21st-century logic of class, centred on access to finance.

Jacinta and Caleb grappled with this painful new reality within their relationship. Renting had been a necessity for Jacinta since she left home – she now wants the security afforded by home ownership. Jacinta told us she was saving money and keeping a close eye on the housing market, as buying had become a very real possibility due to Caleb’s parents’ wealth.

“My family are always trying to buy us a house,” Caleb told us, laughing. His parents have even researched places and options, and stand ready to bear much of the financial burden. Caleb remains disengaged but felt that he and Jacinta will likely buy something in the end. “I don’t really care if I’m getting into the wrong part of the market,” he told us. “I don’t want to think about it that much.”

In sum, Caleb conveyed a cool disinterest that Jacinta could not entertain about this crucial question.

Realities of class

Our research shows that being in a cross-class relationship brings the realities of class more sharply into view. Couples like Felicia and Patrick, and Caleb and Jacinta, could not avoid conversations about class, as they grappled with possibilities, tensions and hurt that were in some way connected to their very different formative experiences.

Class proved a clarifying – and in some cases liberating – vocabulary to discuss some of these things. It provided our interviewees with a way to analyse the unequal distribution of advantages and material assets in our society.

Money is only one part of this picture.

Class can play a role in shaping our expectations, anxieties and confidence, as both Patrick and Caleb pondered, from very different ends of the class spectrum, in their interviews with us. Sometimes, the class-based priorities and values we are raised with in childhood might come to repel us as adults, as Felicia explored.

And for Jacinta, access to material assets, including housing, could not be seriously discussed without recognising the significance of class-based wealth. It was her romantic relationship across class with the wealthier Caleb, more than her trajectory through school, mature-age study and work as a TV producer, that had brought home ownership within reach. And ironically, Caleb’s own ease of access to the money to buy a house produced an indifference to the home ownership she wanted.

Cross-class relationships demand facing class honestly. And in an increasingly unequal Australia , class is something many of us should think about more often. The personal reckonings we have documented, we hope, will stimulate a more honest, society-wide conversation about class in the midst of this growing inequality.

This essay draws on research and interviews from Love Across Class (MUP) by Eve Vincent and Rose Butler.

• Relationships
• Real estate
• Housing affordability
• Working class
• Middle class
• Friday essay

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Nina Sharma’s Essays Are A Riot Of Race And Romance

A love-story exposé of race, immigration, and more.

W hile many a story about America’s race history is wrapped in pain, some stories come wrapped in love. Nina Sharma delivers her brush with race as a love story in her debut non-fiction essay collection, The Way You Make Me Feel: Love In Black And Brown , named after the Michael Jackson classic . Written in a romcom-meets-chick-flick-meets-personal-diary style, the book unlocks a bigger story about immigration, colonialism, Afro-Asian connection, class, caste, white supremacy, colorism in India, and racism in America. Besides herself and her husband Quincy, mental health and sexuality are equally conspicuous protagonists all through the collection.

The book is personal, political, and hilarious. Sharma teaches English at Barnard College , Columbia University, and is also the co-founder of a South Asian women’s improv group called “ Not Your Biwi .”

Edited excerpts from a Zoom interview with Sharma

India Currents : The book is extremely personal. To bare your interiority for mass consumption is gutsy. Are you cringing now?

Nina Sharma: (laughs) I try to think of myself as a character. That creates a dissociative distance. This is the first time I’ve done this on such a massive scale. So I’m really experiencing it in real-time… the cringing, blushing, all of it. When I was writing, my husband and I kept calling each other Harry and Sally; that was a way I kept a placeholder for this character. That let me let it all hang out, let myself be naked… that’s one of the things I worked on editorially — really getting this relationship with all its colors on the page and going from Harry and Sally to finding Nina and Quincy.

That’s also my training; I’ve written memoirs for many years, I’ve studied non-fiction writing, I read a lot of non-fiction. It’s kind of just the way I am in the world. I think I am a chronic oversharer!

IC: Even so, did you create boundaries for yourself while writing?

NS: I think as a non-fiction writer you’re constantly negotiating that internal boundary. Sometimes it makes sense to honor that boundary and sometimes it makes sense to challenge it. It really depends on where you’re at and on a lot of things.

IC: Like what?

NS: Like — Are you ready to tell that story? Is that story a whole book unto itself? Am I holding back? Am I self-censoring? Is it because I’m protecting myself or for some other reason, like feeling ashamed or thinking ‘what will people say’? Is there anything that’s making me hesitate?

IC: What’s the backstory here? Why did you write this book?

NS: I’ve been working on this book for 10 years. At the heart of this book is a love story — my husband’s and my love story — that’s where it began for me. It came from me moving from New York to Philly. I left my community, my ecosystem; we were barely dating, we were in that lusty stage and I just was like “I need to hop in bed with this guy!” It was such a move of passion.

From a very busy New York life I found a lot of stillness. Right at the same time I started taking a local community writing workshop called ‘Life Writing’. I didn’t even consider myself an essayist, I was just taking the class. My community in Philly was just me and him. So I began to write about us — stories of us becoming closer, of what happens when you settle in and really get to know each other, warts and all.

I began to crack into talking about all different parts of my identity through our love story.

I love watching romcoms and I realized I’d never seen us portrayed in a love story that way — never seen a Black or brown person in a white American love story. The Black or brown person is a helpful sidekick.

IC: It seems like being the child of immigrants informed the blueprint of the book…

NS: My parents came in the 1970s and I was born in Edison, New Jersey, in a large Indian community in the 1980s, and that really did inform the lens with which I understood the world. I come from a particular time and place in my parents’ immigration.

I’ve been thinking a lot about telling the story of assimilation — and how assimilation can feel like a capitulation or erasure of your identity. I think a lot of how anti-Blackness is baked into assimilation.

Broadly speaking, the idea of being a “quiet,” model minority is a stereotype of Asian Americans, which is set against the idea of the “angry Black Americans” being the “problem” minority. Those two lies are narratives that grew out of white America trying to problematize the Civil Rights Movement to uphold the ultimate lie of white supremacy. For me it’s that journey of thinking about how much we as immigrants adhere to stereotypes out of a false notion of safety. But that just keeps us in pain.

IC: South Asian writers seem to be having a collective moment. Name some favorites.

NS: Bushra Rehman ( Roses In The Mouth Of A Lion ), Rajiv Mohabir ( Antiman ), Mecca Jamilah Sullivan ( Big Girl ), Prachi Gupta ( They Called Us Exceptional: And Other Lies That Raised Us ), the late Kamilah Aisha Moon (poet).

The Way You Make Me Feel: Love In Black And Brown was published by Penguin Press on May 7.

The post Nina Sharma’s Essays Are A Riot Of Race And Romance appeared first on India Currents .

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‘Grand Tour’ Review: Miguel Gomes’ Beguiling Colonial Romance Travels from Saigon to Shanghai in Search of Lost Time

David ehrlich.

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In this case, that story is a love story (of sorts), one that again finds Gomes harkening back to the kind of blinkered colonial romances that were so prevalent in the silent era and the early days of Hollywood. And since a love story requires a tactile anchor for its yearning , Gomes — in stark contrast to Marker — cast a pair of conventionally attractive actors to embody the characters described over the soundtrack.  Related Stories Pam Grier Confirms ‘Foxy Brown’ Stage Musical in the Works William H. Macy Says He’s Lost Work for Believing that Gratuitous Violence Is ‘Porn’

The first of those characters is Edward (a hollowed but ruggedly handsome Gonçalo Waddington), a civil servant for the British Empire. We meet him in Burma towards the end of 1917, where he receives a telegram from the fiancée he hasn’t seen in seven years; it’s finally time for them to tie the knot, and she’ll be in Rangoon by tomorrow. Edward impulsively decides to make sure that he’s gone before she gets there, and hops the next train going anywhere. It derails, but he emerges from the wreckage with a smile on his face. “What a beautiful morning,” he sighs, happily liberated from the chokehold of a history that he managed to escape in the nick of time. 

From there, Edward travels through a variety of other countries on a path that wends its way through the streets of Hanoi, the mountains of Japan, and up the Yangtze River in China among other points of interest. Waddington, however, never appears to leave the confines of the period-appropriate Portuguese soundstage where his scenes were shot, as the brunt of his character’s journey was lensed in the first-person between 2020 and 2022. 

Alas, Edward is neither aware of nor interested in thinking about the poetics of his condition. Growing sourer and more despondent by the minute, the runaway groom fails to appreciate the irony of being guided by a man with three wives, or the splendor of the New Year’s Eve fireworks display he sees in Saigon (Gomes naturally cuts to modern footage of the same event in full color, which is more spectacular but less exciting). To make matters worse, a chipper and undaunted new letter from his fiancée seems to be waiting for him wherever he goes. “Grand Tour” denies us any significant insight into its characters’ minds, lest they threaten to overshadow the film’s concepts, but a man can only read “STOP” on a telegram so many times before he starts to appreciate its double meaning. 

And that is essentially the full extent to which Gomes is willing to explore Molly’s emotions, as “Grand Tour” resists any temptation to create a sentimental connection between his characters, or to use them as conduits for the emotional reaction their story is perversely well-designed to evoke. Indifferent to the nuances of Molly and Edward’s feelings, the movie turns its attention instead on the sights that its would-be lovers are too laser-focused to enjoy. An adorable mini horse in Burma. A very literal twist on carpool karaoke in Manilla. The hum of traffic everywhere. 

The pull of time causes a kind of tunnel vision, echoing the irises that Gomes uses to frame Edward’s plight at the start of the film. At one point, a Vietnamese friend named Ngoc brings Molly to a psychic, who frustrates our heroine by revealing her actual future. When “Grand Tour” finally arrives at its twistiest moment of meta self-reflection, it almost seems as if Gomes — whose films always reflect his free-wheeling approach to their construction — is punishing his characters for their very different but equally strong allegiances to a predetermined choice. 

“Who said that time heals all wounds?,” Marker’s narrator once asked. “It would be better to say that time heals everything except wounds.” Gomes’ film is no more sensitive to the lasting scars of its landscapes than it is to the newer pains of the characters it follows through them, but it nevertheless alights upon a textured — and occasionally even spellbinding — way to retrace the relationship between distance and understanding for a world that would sooner run away from the past than reckon with our conception of it. 

“Grand Tour” premiered in Competition at the 2024 Cannes Film Festival. It is currently seeking U.S. distribution.

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