- Family Dynamics
Why Time With Grandparents Is So Valuable for Kids
... and why parents shouldn't let family drama get in the way..
Posted November 29, 2023 | Reviewed by Ray Parker
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- The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren provides valuable life lessons for children.
- A study shows grandparents connected via the internet with family enjoy greater life satisfaction and health.
- Strong co-parenting relationships between parents and grandparents lead to greater family well-being.
When I was very young, before age 6, I spent many weekends with my grandparents. At bedtime, my grandmother would sit beside my bed and read to me from a book of fairy tales. I still remember, after all these years, listening intently to Little Red Riding Hood , Sleeping Beauty , Puss and Boots , and many others.
Just thinking about these magical times brings tears to my eyes. I felt safe, warm, and loved. As I write this, it occurs to me that my interest in the human psyche was very likely sparked by these early experiences with my grandmother. In this youth-oriented culture, we often fail to appreciate the significant contributions that grandparents make to the lives of their grandchildren and vice versa.
Yet, in the wake of the COVID epidemic and the recent inflationary financial pressures, more children are living with their grandparents in multigenerational households. As a result, more children are spending time with their grandparents. How has this impacted grandparents and grandchildren?
It is not easy for a parent to transition to the role of a grandparent. Becoming a grandparent requires adapting to a new social role, usually during late midlife . It is associated with adopting new beliefs and behaviors that may interfere with long-established practices, such as having a tidy home or watching TV after dinner. It requires what may be perceived as "sacrifices."
However, in contrast to earlier American findings that implied that childcare was burdensome, a 2018 Flinders University, Australia, study of 262 female and 168 male grandparents across the first two years of their transition to grandparenthood found more time spent babysitting the grandchild was associated with improvement in mental health.
In this respect, research focusing on the association between grandparents' use of the internet and grandchild care is instructive. The authors of the study observe that using the internet to maintain ties with families and friends helps older adults foster family cohesion, which in turn enhances senior Chinese women's life satisfaction and health to a greater extent than men's.
This avenue of communication is especially important for grandmothers in rural areas whose adult children have migrated to work in cities. Thus, parent-child contact through the internet is likely stronger among females than males, and females benefit more from internet use than males. Of course, these findings are as relevant here as they are to China.
Other studies from China, where parent-grandparent co- parenting is very common, have found that when parents and grandparents get along, the benefits for all involved are considerable. The majority of families in this study lived in three-generational households, and 80 percent of families had only one child. Mothers who maintained strong co-parenting bonds with their children's grandparents, primarily grandmothers, often experienced a greater sense of effectiveness in their parental roles.
The study's authors elucidate that grandparents, drawing upon their wealth of parenting experience, can offer valuable support, set positive examples, and provide encouragement when they engage in child-rearing collaborations. This, in turn, can impact the level of confidence that mothers feel in their parenting responsibilities.
When mothers exude greater self-assurance , they tend to approach parenting with increased positivity and perseverance, ultimately contributing to their children's improved social development. These enriching interactions can remove some of the guilt parents may feel for being absent all day or sometimes for longer periods.
Interacting with grandchildren can help keep them both physically and mentally active. Looking after grandchildren often involves physical activities like dressing, playing, walking, or doing more laundry. Grandparents can benefit from increased socialization as they engage with their grandchildren's friends, teachers, and other parents. This will serve as an antidote to loneliness or isolation, a frequent occurrence among older people.
Grandparents often have the opportunity to share their knowledge, wisdom , and family traditions with their grandchildren. Such early experiences strengthen a grandchild's self-esteem and reinforce beliefs, norms, and values while creating opportunities to explore identity in the context of one's family.
Recent research suggests that grandparent involvement during childhood , conceptualized as the amount of contact and emotional closeness, is positively linked to emotional development, cognitive functioning, and social adjustment in early adulthood. The lessons learned from grandparent-grandchild relationships in childhood, especially those related to spirituality and moral development, persist into early adulthood.
A study from the Institute for Engaged Aging, Clemson University, South Carolina, concluded that past and present grandparent relationships remain salient in early adulthood. These results echo previous research in which gratitude , respect, and appreciation were found to be significant factors in the well-being of young adults. This finding holds across all types of grandparents. In the face of challenging family dynamics, these participants cited lessons learned from their grandparents as significant building blocks in their current perspectives on life.
With this study being conducted amid a global pandemic, many grandchildren discussed the emotional difficulty of being physically separated from grandparents, especially those with progressing illnesses (e.g., dementia , cancer). The majority of participants maintained regular, and at times even increased, contact with their grandparents as a result of the pandemic.
Sometimes, family issues can get in the way of harmonious transgenerational relationships, whether initiated by one or the other side. If arguments, in-law drama, or any other challenges have prevented your children or grandchildren from enjoying a healthy grandparent relationship, for everyone's sake, it may be time to bury the old battleaxe and make peace now.
A version of this appears in The Globe and Mail.
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LinkedIn image: Kleber Cordeiro/Shutterstock
Choi, K. H., & Ramaj, S. (2023). Multigenerational living and children’s risk of living in unaffordable housing: differences by ethnicity and parents’ marital status. Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies, 1-22.
Condon, J., Luszcz, M., & McKee, I. (2018). The transition to grandparenthood: A prospective study of mental health implications. Aging & Mental Health , 22 (3), 336-343.
Wang, J., Gu, R., Zhang, L., & Zhang, L. (2023). How is caring for grandchildren associated with grandparents’ health: the mediating effect of internet use.
Frontiers in Public Health , 11 .
He, QH, Tan, YF, and Peng, ZC. How does grandchild care affect the health of grandparents?-new evidence from CHARLS. Population Develop. (In Chinese). (2021) 27:52–64
Li, X., & Liu, Q. (2020). Parent–grandparent coparenting relationship, marital conflict and parent–child relationship in Chinese parent–grandparent coparenting families. Children and Youth Services Review, 109, 104733.
Muennig, P., Jiao, B., & Singer, E. (2018). Living with parents or grandparents increases social capital and survival: 2014 General Social Survey-National Death Index. SSM-population health, 4, 71-75
Stephan, A. T. (2023). How Grandparents Inform Our Lives: A Mixed Methods Investigation of Intergenerational Influence on Young Adults. Journal of Adult Development, 1-13.
Thomas R. Verny, M.D. , the author of eight books, including The Embodied Mind , has taught at Harvard University, University of Toronto, York University, and St. Mary’s University of Minnesota. His podcast, Pushing Boundaries , may be viewed on Youtube or listened to on Spotify and many other platforms.
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Essay On Grandparents for Students and Children
500+ words essay on grandparents.
Grandparents are blessings from God who are irreplaceable. They are angels in disguise who are always looking over their kids and grandkids. As the times are evolving, people are losing touch of their tradition. Likewise, people are not realizing the importance of Grandparents. We see how they are mistreating them. While this happens in some cases, in most cases people love their grandparents.
You ask a kid about who pampers them the most, most of them will answer saying their grandparents. Similarly, for grandparents, they are adored by their grandkids. They love us unconditionally and pamper us endlessly. However, they also correct our mistakes and scold us when necessary. Thus, we see how grandparents are great blessings not everyone is fortunate enough to have.
Grandparents are True Blessings
Grandparents are truly a blessing in our lives. They are the ones who have made our parents the way they are. It is because of their upbringing that our parents love us immensely and care for us the same way our grandparents did when they were children. Moreover, grandparents are your support system. They are sometimes the only people who support you even if our parents don’t.
Read 500 Words Essay on Mother
Most importantly, grandparents are true believers in our skills and talent. They are the ones who push us to pursue our dreams when the world puts us down. Even though some of our dreams may not make sense to them, nonetheless, they still believe in us. They boost our confidence and allow us to perform better.
Furthermore, grandparents are one of the main reasons why we feel safe and protected. We know even if we don’t live with our grandparents, they are always praying for us. They are looking out for us. Almost everyone’s safe place is their grandparent’s home. We have a sense of calm and composure knowing we can always go to our grandparent’s place if the need arises.
Thus, we see how grandparents are blessings in disguise. They help in us so many ways, some of which we may not even realize. The ones who are lucky enough to have grandparents surely know their value.
Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas
My Grandparents
I was lucky enough to grow up in my grandparent’s house. Our family lived with my grandparents since I was little. As my paternal grandfather passed away when I was very young, I only remember a few memories of him. One thing I surely remember is he used to brush his teeth twice daily without fail. I adopted this habit and ever since I have been doing the same.
My maternal grandparents have been my true systems of support. I am lucky enough to have grown up around such inspirational people. My grandfather was a principal of a college, so he always emphasized the importance of education . He helped us with our homework when my parents were not available. I spent my vacations at their place as I enjoyed living with them.
Similarly, my grandparents always embraced me with open arms. They used to wait for every holiday for our arrival. My grandmother made delicious pickles and meals which we relished greatly. She taught me a few recipes too and tips and tricks that are very useful even today. I simply adore my grandparents for instilling good values in me and my parents and for giving us a safe space to grow up in.
The FAQ on Essay on Grandparents
Q.1 Why are grandparents a true blessing?
A.1 Grandparents are like angels in disguise. They always watch out for us and pray for us even when we don’t know it. They provide us a safe space on which we can always count on.
Q.2 Why should one value their grandparents?
A.2 Grandparents are a blessing which not everyone is lucky enough to have. Thus, we must value them and respect them for all they have done for us and our parents.
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