how to improve your community essay

How to Write the Community Essay: Complete Guide + Examples

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Step 1: Decide What Community to Write About
• Step 2: The BEABIES Exercise
• Step 3: Pick a Structure (Narrative or Montage)
• Step 4: Write a Draft!

Introduction

On the Common Application, a number of colleges have begun to require that students respond to a supplemental essay question that sounds something like this:

Tell us a bit more about a community you are a part of.

Here is the exact wording from a few schools:

University of Michigan: “Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (250 words)”

Duke University: “We seek a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you'd like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you've had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying. (250 words)

(Old) Brown University: “Tell us about a place or community you call home. How has it shaped your perspective? (250 words)

I love this essay question. 

Why? Because, while this essay is largely asking about your place within that community, it is a great opportunity to share more about you, and how you will most likely engage with that community (or other communities) on your future college campus.

It’s a chance to say: “Here’s how I connect with folks in this community. And if accepted to your college, I’ll probably be active in getting involved with that same community and others on your college campus.”

And colleges want students who are going to be active in engaging with their community.

How to Write The Community Essay

Step 1: decide what community you want to write about.

How? This may seem obvious, but it can be really helpful to first brainstorm the communities you’re already a part of. 

Here’s how:

Create a “communities” chart by listing all the communities you’re a part of. Keep in mind that communities can be defined by...

Place: groups of people who live/work/play near one another

Action: groups of people who create change in the world by building, doing, or solving something together (Examples: Black Lives Matter, Girls Who Code, March for Our Lives)

Interest: groups of people coming together based on shared interest, experience, or expertise

Circumstance: groups of people brought together either by chance or external events/situations

Use four columns in your chart, like this. 

Your turn. 

What communities are you a part of? 

Spend 5-10 minutes making a list of as many as you can think of. 

In fact, here’s a simple GoogleDoc you can download and fill in right now.

Once you’ve completed that exercise for several of the communities you are a part of, you might start to see one community seems to be the most obvious one to write about. 

Go with the one that you feel gives the best chance to help you share more about yourself.

Step 2: Use the BEABIES exercise to generate your essay content

Once you’ve chosen a community or two, map out your content using the BEABIES Exercise . That exercise asks:

What did you actually do in that community? (Tip: use active verbs like “organized” and “managed” to clarify your responsibilities).

What kinds of problems did you solve (personally, locally, or globally)?

What specific impact did you have?

What did you learn (skills, qualities, values)? 

How did you apply the lessons you learned in and outside of that community?

Don’t skip that step. It’s important.

Step 3: Pick a structure (Narrative or Montage)

The Narrative Structure . This structure works well for students who have faced a challenge in this community. Otherwise, the Montage Structure works well.

Consider answering these three questions in your essay if you choose the Narrative Structure: 

What challenge did you face?

What did you do about it? 

What did you learn?

Here’s an example of a narrative “community” essay based on a challenge that tackles those three questions, roughly in order:

Community Essay Example: East Meets West

I look around my room, dimly lit by an orange light. On my desk, a framed picture of an Asian family beaming their smiles, buried among US history textbooks and The Great Gatsby. A Korean ballad streams from two tiny computer speakers. Pamphlets of American colleges scattered on the floor. A cold December wind wafts a strange infusion of ramen and leftover pizza. On the wall in the far back, a Korean flag hangs besides a Led Zeppelin poster. Do I consider myself Korean or American? A few years back, I would have replied: “Neither.” The frustrating moments of miscommunication, the stifling homesickness, and the impossible dilemma of deciding between the Korean or American table in the dining hall, all fueled my identity crisis. Standing in the “Foreign Passports” section at JFK, I have always felt out of place. Sure, I held a Korean passport in my hands, and I loved kimchi and Yuna Kim and knew the Korean Anthem by heart. But I also loved macaroni and cheese and LeBron. Deep inside, I feared I’d labeled by my airport customs category: a foreigner everywhere. This ambiguity, however, has granted me the opportunity to absorb the best of both worlds. Look at my dorm room. This mélange of cultures in my East-meets-West room embodies the diversity that characterizes my international student life. I’ve learned to accept my “ambiguity” as “diversity,” as a third-culture student embracing both identities. Do I consider myself Korean or American? Now, I can proudly answer: “Both.” — — —

(250 words)

While this author doesn’t go into too much depth on the “What did you do about it?” question named above, we do get a sense of the challenge he faced and what he learned.

For more on how to use the narrative structure, check out the free guide to writing the personal statement.

The Montage Structure. This is another potential structure, often times great for essays that don’t necessarily focus on a particular challenge. 

Here’s a great example:

Community Essay Example: Storytellers

Storytellers (Montage Structure)

I belong to a community of storytellers. Throughout my childhood, my mother and I spent countless hours immersed in the magical land of bedtime stories. We took daring adventures and explored far away lands. Imagination ran wild, characters came to life, and I became acquainted with heroes and lessons that continue to inspire me today. It was a ritual that I will never forget. In school I met many other storytellers­­­­—teachers, coaches, and fellow students whose stories taught me valuable lessons and enabled me to share stories of my own. My stories took shape through my involvement with theatre. I have learned that telling stories can be just as powerful as hearing them. When I tell a story, I can shape the world I live in and share my deepest emotions with the audience. This is exactly why I love theatre so much. The audience can relate to the story in many of the same powerful ways that I do. I love to perform with my theatre class to entertain and educate young audiences throughout my community. To tell our stories, we travel to elementary and middle schools performing plays that help educate younger students of the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and bullying. As storytellers, we aim to touch lives and better the world around us through our stories. — — —

(219 words)

To write this essay, I recommend the “uncommon connections” exercise.

The Uncommon Connections Exercise

First: Use the Values Exercise at this link to brainstorm predictable values that other students might describe in their essay and then vow not to use those values. 

Second : Identify 3-4 uncommon connections (values other students would be unlikely to think of) and give an example of each.

Third : Describe one example per paragraph, perhaps in chronological order. 

Another idea: It’s also possible to combine the narrative and montage structures by describing a challenge WHILE also describing a range of values and lessons. 

Here’s an example that does this:

Community Essay Example: The Pumpkin House (plus Ethan's analysis)

The Pumpkin House (Narrative + Montage Combo Structure)

I was raised in “The Pumpkin House.” Every Autumn, on the lawn between the sidewalk and the road, grows our pumpkin. Every summer, we procure seeds from giant pumpkins and plant them in this strip of land. Every fall, the pumpkin grows to be giant. This annual ritual became well known in the community and became the defining feature of our already quirky house. The pumpkin was not just a pumpkin, but a catalyst to creating interactions and community. Conversations often start with “aren’t you the girl in the pumpkin house?” My English teacher knew about our pumpkin and our chickens. His curiosity and weekly updates about the pumpkin helped us connect.

The author touches on the values of family and ritual in the first few sentences. She then mentions the word “community” explicitly, which clearly connects the essay to the  prompt. In the second paragraph she mentions the value of connection.

One year, we found our pumpkin splattered across the street. We were devastated; the pumpkin was part of our identity. Word spread, and people came to our house to share in our dismay. Clearly, that pumpkin enriched our life and the entire neighborhoods’.

Here she introduces the problem. Then she raises the stakes: the pumpkin was part of her family’s identity as well as that of the community. 

The next morning, our patch contained twelve new pumpkins. Anonymous neighbors left these, plus, a truly gigantic 200 lb. pumpkin on our doorstep.

Describing the neighborhood’s response offers a vivid example of what makes for a great community.

Growing up, the pumpkin challenged me as I wasn’t always comfortable being the center of attention. But in retrospect, I realize that there’s a bit of magic in growing something from a seed and tending it in public. I witnessed how this act of sharing creates authentic community spirit. I wouldn’t be surprised if some day I started my own form of quirky pumpkin growing and reap the benefit of true community.

The author makes another uncommon connection in her conclusion with the unexpected idea that  “the pumpkin challenged [her].” She then uses beautiful language to reflect on the lessons she learned: “there’s a bit of magic in growing something from a seed and tending it in public.” 

Step 4: Write a first draft!

It sometimes helps to outline and draft one or two different essays on different activities, just to see which community might end up being a better topic for your essay. 

Not sure? Share your drafts with a friend or teacher and ask this question:

Which of these essays tells you more about me/my core values, helps me stand out, and shows that I’ll engage actively with other communities in college.

Happy writing.

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How to Write the Community Essay – Guide with Examples (2023-24)

September 6, 2023

Students applying to college this year will inevitably confront the community essay. In fact, most students will end up responding to several community essay prompts for different schools. For this reason, you should know more than simply how to approach the community essay as a genre. Rather, you will want to learn how to decipher the nuances of each particular prompt, in order to adapt your response appropriately. In this article, we’ll show you how to do just that, through several community essay examples. These examples will also demonstrate how to avoid cliché and make the community essay authentically and convincingly your own.

Emphasis on Community

Do keep in mind that inherent in the word “community” is the idea of multiple people. The personal statement already provides you with a chance to tell the college admissions committee about yourself as an individual. The community essay, however, suggests that you depict yourself among others. You can use this opportunity to your advantage by showing off interpersonal skills, for example. Or, perhaps you wish to relate a moment that forged important relationships. This in turn will indicate what kind of connections you’ll make in the classroom with college peers and professors.

Apart from comprising numerous people, a community can appear in many shapes and sizes. It could be as small as a volleyball team, or as large as a diaspora. It could fill a town soup kitchen, or spread across five boroughs. In fact, due to the internet, certain communities today don’t even require a physical place to congregate. Communities can form around a shared identity, shared place, shared hobby, shared ideology, or shared call to action. They can even arise due to a shared yet unforeseen circumstance.

What is the Community Essay All About?             

In a nutshell, the community essay should exhibit three things:

• An aspect of yourself, 2. in the context of a community you belonged to, and 3. how this experience may shape your contribution to the community you’ll join in college.

It may look like a fairly simple equation: 1 + 2 = 3. However, each college will word their community essay prompt differently, so it’s important to look out for additional variables. One college may use the community essay as a way to glimpse your core values. Another may use the essay to understand how you would add to diversity on campus. Some may let you decide in which direction to take it—and there are many ways to go!

To get a better idea of how the prompts differ, let’s take a look at some real community essay prompts from the current admission cycle.

Sample 2023-2024 Community Essay Prompts

1) brown university.

“Students entering Brown often find that making their home on College Hill naturally invites reflection on where they came from. Share how an aspect of your growing up has inspired or challenged you, and what unique contributions this might allow you to make to the Brown community. (200-250 words)”

A close reading of this prompt shows that Brown puts particular emphasis on place. They do this by using the words “home,” “College Hill,” and “where they came from.” Thus, Brown invites writers to think about community through the prism of place. They also emphasize the idea of personal growth or change, through the words “inspired or challenged you.” Therefore, Brown wishes to see how the place you grew up in has affected you. And, they want to know how you in turn will affect their college community.

“NYU was founded on the belief that a student’s identity should not dictate the ability for them to access higher education. That sense of opportunity for all students, of all backgrounds, remains a part of who we are today and a critical part of what makes us a world-class university. Our community embraces diversity, in all its forms, as a cornerstone of the NYU experience.

We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community. Please respond in 250 words or less.”

Here, NYU places an emphasis on students’ “identity,” “backgrounds,” and “diversity,” rather than any physical place. (For some students, place may be tied up in those ideas.) Furthermore, while NYU doesn’t ask specifically how identity has changed the essay writer, they do ask about your “experience.” Take this to mean that you can still recount a specific moment, or several moments, that work to portray your particular background. You should also try to link your story with NYU’s values of inclusivity and opportunity.

3) University of Washington

“Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the UW. (300 words max) Tip: Keep in mind that the UW strives to create a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences, values and viewpoints.”

UW ’s community essay prompt may look the most approachable, for they help define the idea of community. You’ll notice that most of their examples (“families,” “cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood”…) place an emphasis on people. This may clue you in on their desire to see the relationships you’ve made. At the same time, UW uses the words “individual” and “richly diverse.” They, like NYU, wish to see how you fit in and stand out, in order to boost campus diversity.

Writing Your First Community Essay

Begin by picking which community essay you’ll write first. (For practical reasons, you’ll probably want to go with whichever one is due earliest.) Spend time doing a close reading of the prompt, as we’ve done above. Underline key words. Try to interpret exactly what the prompt is asking through these keywords.

Next, brainstorm. I recommend doing this on a blank piece of paper with a pencil. Across the top, make a row of headings. These might be the communities you’re a part of, or the components that make up your identity. Then, jot down descriptive words underneath in each column—whatever comes to you. These words may invoke people and experiences you had with them, feelings, moments of growth, lessons learned, values developed, etc. Now, narrow in on the idea that offers the richest material and that corresponds fully with the prompt.

Lastly, write! You’ll definitely want to describe real moments, in vivid detail. This will keep your essay original, and help you avoid cliché. However, you’ll need to summarize the experience and answer the prompt succinctly, so don’t stray too far into storytelling mode.

How To Adapt Your Community Essay

Once your first essay is complete, you’ll need to adapt it to the other colleges involving community essays on your list. Again, you’ll want to turn to the prompt for a close reading, and recognize what makes this prompt different from the last. For example, let’s say you’ve written your essay for UW about belonging to your swim team, and how the sports dynamics shaped you. Adapting that essay to Brown’s prompt could involve more of a focus on place. You may ask yourself, how was my swim team in Alaska different than the swim teams we competed against in other states?

Once you’ve adapted the content, you’ll also want to adapt the wording to mimic the prompt. For example, let’s say your UW essay states, “Thinking back to my years in the pool…” As you adapt this essay to Brown’s prompt, you may notice that Brown uses the word “reflection.” Therefore, you might change this sentence to “Reflecting back on my years in the pool…” While this change is minute, it cleverly signals to the reader that you’ve paid attention to the prompt, and are giving that school your full attention.

What to Avoid When Writing the Community Essay  

• Avoid cliché. Some students worry that their idea is cliché, or worse, that their background or identity is cliché. However, what makes an essay cliché is not the content, but the way the content is conveyed. This is where your voice and your descriptions become essential.
• Avoid giving too many examples. Stick to one community, and one or two anecdotes arising from that community that allow you to answer the prompt fully.
• Don’t exaggerate or twist facts. Sometimes students feel they must make themselves sound more “diverse” than they feel they are. Luckily, diversity is not a feeling. Likewise, diversity does not simply refer to one’s heritage. If the prompt is asking about your identity or background, you can show the originality of your experiences through your actions and your thinking.

Community Essay Examples and Analysis

Brown university community essay example.

I used to hate the NYC subway. I’ve taken it since I was six, going up and down Manhattan, to and from school. By high school, it was a daily nightmare. Spending so much time underground, underneath fluorescent lighting, squashed inside a rickety, rocking train car among strangers, some of whom wanted to talk about conspiracy theories, others who had bedbugs or B.O., or who manspread across two seats, or bickered—it wore me out. The challenge of going anywhere seemed absurd. I dreaded the claustrophobia and disgruntlement.

Yet the subway also inspired my understanding of community. I will never forget the morning I saw a man, several seats away, slide out of his seat and hit the floor. The thump shocked everyone to attention. What we noticed: he appeared drunk, possibly homeless. I was digesting this when a second man got up and, through a sort of awkward embrace, heaved the first man back into his seat. The rest of us had stuck to subway social codes: don’t step out of line. Yet this second man’s silent actions spoke loudly. They said, “I care.”

That day I realized I belong to a group of strangers. What holds us together is our transience, our vulnerabilities, and a willingness to assist. This community is not perfect but one in motion, a perpetual work-in-progress. Now I make it my aim to hold others up. I plan to contribute to the Brown community by helping fellow students and strangers in moments of precariousness.    

Brown University Community Essay Example Analysis

Here the student finds an original way to write about where they come from. The subway is not their home, yet it remains integral to ideas of belonging. The student shows how a community can be built between strangers, in their responsibility toward each other. The student succeeds at incorporating key words from the prompt (“challenge,” “inspired” “Brown community,” “contribute”) into their community essay.

UW Community Essay Example

I grew up in Hawaii, a world bound by water and rich in diversity. In school we learned that this sacred land was invaded, first by Captain Cook, then by missionaries, whalers, traders, plantation owners, and the U.S. government. My parents became part of this problematic takeover when they moved here in the 90s. The first community we knew was our church congregation. At the beginning of mass, we shook hands with our neighbors. We held hands again when we sang the Lord’s Prayer. I didn’t realize our church wasn’t “normal” until our diocese was informed that we had to stop dancing hula and singing Hawaiian hymns. The order came from the Pope himself.

Eventually, I lost faith in God and organized institutions. I thought the banning of hula—an ancient and pure form of expression—seemed medieval, ignorant, and unfair, given that the Hawaiian religion had already been stamped out. I felt a lack of community and a distrust for any place in which I might find one. As a postcolonial inhabitant, I could never belong to the Hawaiian culture, no matter how much I valued it. Then, I was shocked to learn that Queen Ka’ahumanu herself had eliminated the Kapu system, a strict code of conduct in which women were inferior to men. Next went the Hawaiian religion. Queen Ka’ahumanu burned all the temples before turning to Christianity, hoping this religion would offer better opportunities for her people.

Community Essay (Continued)

I’m not sure what to make of this history. Should I view Queen Ka’ahumanu as a feminist hero, or another failure in her islands’ tragedy? Nothing is black and white about her story, but she did what she thought was beneficial to her people, regardless of tradition. From her story, I’ve learned to accept complexity. I can disagree with institutionalized religion while still believing in my neighbors. I am a product of this place and their presence. At UW, I plan to add to campus diversity through my experience, knowing that diversity comes with contradictions and complications, all of which should be approached with an open and informed mind.

UW Community Essay Example Analysis

This student also manages to weave in words from the prompt (“family,” “community,” “world,” “product of it,” “add to the diversity,” etc.). Moreover, the student picks one of the examples of community mentioned in the prompt, (namely, a religious group,) and deepens their answer by addressing the complexity inherent in the community they’ve been involved in. While the student displays an inner turmoil about their identity and participation, they find a way to show how they’d contribute to an open-minded campus through their values and intellectual rigor.

What’s Next

For more on supplemental essays and essay writing guides, check out the following articles:

• How to Write the Why This Major Essay + Example
• How to Write the Overcoming Challenges Essay + Example
• How to Start a College Essay – 12 Techniques and Tips
• College Essay

Kaylen Baker

With a BA in Literary Studies from Middlebury College, an MFA in Fiction from Columbia University, and a Master’s in Translation from Université Paris 8 Vincennes-Saint-Denis, Kaylen has been working with students on their writing for over five years. Previously, Kaylen taught a fiction course for high school students as part of Columbia Artists/Teachers, and served as an English Language Assistant for the French National Department of Education. Kaylen is an experienced writer/translator whose work has been featured in Los Angeles Review, Hybrid, San Francisco Bay Guardian, France Today, and Honolulu Weekly, among others.

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, how to write a great community service essay.

College Admissions , Extracurriculars

Are you applying to a college or a scholarship that requires a community service essay? Do you know how to write an essay that will impress readers and clearly show the impact your work had on yourself and others?

Read on to learn step-by-step instructions for writing a great community service essay that will help you stand out and be memorable.

What Is a Community Service Essay? Why Do You Need One?

A community service essay is an essay that describes the volunteer work you did and the impact it had on you and your community. Community service essays can vary widely depending on specific requirements listed in the application, but, in general, they describe the work you did, why you found the work important, and how it benefited people around you.

Community service essays are typically needed for two reasons:

#1: To Apply to College

• Some colleges require students to write community service essays as part of their application or to be eligible for certain scholarships.
• You may also choose to highlight your community service work in your personal statement.

#2: To Apply for Scholarships

• Some scholarships are specifically awarded to students with exceptional community service experiences, and many use community service essays to help choose scholarship recipients.
• Green Mountain College offers one of the most famous of these scholarships. Their "Make a Difference Scholarship" offers full tuition, room, and board to students who have demonstrated a significant, positive impact through their community service

Getting Started With Your Essay

In the following sections, I'll go over each step of how to plan and write your essay. I'll also include sample excerpts for you to look through so you can get a better idea of what readers are looking for when they review your essay.

Step 1: Know the Essay Requirements

Before your start writing a single word, you should be familiar with the essay prompt. Each college or scholarship will have different requirements for their essay, so make sure you read these carefully and understand them.

Specific things to pay attention to include:

• Length requirement
• Application deadline
• The main purpose or focus of the essay
• If the essay should follow a specific structure

Below are three real community service essay prompts. Read through them and notice how much they vary in terms of length, detail, and what information the writer should include.

From the Equitable Excellence Scholarship:

"Describe your outstanding achievement in depth and provide the specific planning, training, goals, and steps taken to make the accomplishment successful. Include details about your role and highlight leadership you provided. Your essay must be a minimum of 350 words but not more than 600 words."

From the Laura W. Bush Traveling Scholarship:

"Essay (up to 500 words, double spaced) explaining your interest in being considered for the award and how your proposed project reflects or is related to both UNESCO's mandate and U.S. interests in promoting peace by sharing advances in education, science, culture, and communications."

From the LULAC National Scholarship Fund:

"Please type or print an essay of 300 words (maximum) on how your academic studies will contribute to your personal & professional goals. In addition, please discuss any community service or extracurricular activities you have been involved in that relate to your goals."

Step 2: Brainstorm Ideas

Even after you understand what the essay should be about, it can still be difficult to begin writing. Answer the following questions to help brainstorm essay ideas. You may be able to incorporate your answers into your essay.

• What community service activity that you've participated in has meant the most to you?
• What is your favorite memory from performing community service?
• Why did you decide to begin community service?
• What made you decide to volunteer where you did?
• How has your community service changed you?
• How has your community service helped others?
• How has your community service affected your plans for the future?

You don't need to answer all the questions, but if you find you have a lot of ideas for one of two of them, those may be things you want to include in your essay.

Writing Your Essay

How you structure your essay will depend on the requirements of the scholarship or school you are applying to. You may give an overview of all the work you did as a volunteer, or highlight a particularly memorable experience. You may focus on your personal growth or how your community benefited.

Regardless of the specific structure requested, follow the guidelines below to make sure your community service essay is memorable and clearly shows the impact of your work.

Samples of mediocre and excellent essays are included below to give you a better idea of how you should draft your own essay.

Step 1: Hook Your Reader In

You want the person reading your essay to be interested, so your first sentence should hook them in and entice them to read more. A good way to do this is to start in the middle of the action. Your first sentence could describe you helping build a house, releasing a rescued animal back to the wild, watching a student you tutored read a book on their own, or something else that quickly gets the reader interested. This will help set your essay apart and make it more memorable.

Compare these two opening sentences:

"I have volunteered at the Wishbone Pet Shelter for three years."

"The moment I saw the starving, mud-splattered puppy brought into the shelter with its tail between its legs, I knew I'd do whatever I could to save it."

The first sentence is a very general, bland statement. The majority of community service essays probably begin a lot like it, but it gives the reader little information and does nothing to draw them in. On the other hand, the second sentence begins immediately with action and helps persuade the reader to keep reading so they can learn what happened to the dog.

Step 2: Discuss the Work You Did

Once you've hooked your reader in with your first sentence, tell them about your community service experiences. State where you work, when you began working, how much time you've spent there, and what your main duties include. This will help the reader quickly put the rest of the essay in context and understand the basics of your community service work.

Not including basic details about your community service could leave your reader confused.

Step 3: Include Specific Details

It's the details of your community service that make your experience unique and memorable, so go into the specifics of what you did.

For example, don't just say you volunteered at a nursing home; talk about reading Mrs. Johnson her favorite book, watching Mr. Scott win at bingo, and seeing the residents play games with their grandchildren at the family day you organized. Try to include specific activities, moments, and people in your essay. Having details like these let the readers really understand what work you did and how it differs from other volunteer experiences.

Compare these two passages:

"For my volunteer work, I tutored children at a local elementary school. I helped them improve their math skills and become more confident students."

"As a volunteer at York Elementary School, I worked one-on-one with second and third graders who struggled with their math skills, particularly addition, subtraction, and fractions. As part of my work, I would create practice problems and quizzes and try to connect math to the students' interests. One of my favorite memories was when Sara, a student I had been working with for several weeks, told me that she enjoyed the math problems I had created about a girl buying and selling horses so much that she asked to help me create math problems for other students."

The first passage only gives basic information about the work done by the volunteer; there is very little detail included, and no evidence is given to support her claims. How did she help students improve their math skills? How did she know they were becoming more confident?

The second passage is much more detailed. It recounts a specific story and explains more fully what kind of work the volunteer did, as well as a specific instance of a student becoming more confident with her math skills. Providing more detail in your essay helps support your claims as well as make your essay more memorable and unique.

Step 4: Show Your Personality

It would be very hard to get a scholarship or place at a school if none of your readers felt like they knew much about you after finishing your essay, so make sure that your essay shows your personality. The way to do this is to state your personal strengths, then provide examples to support your claims. Take some time to think about which parts of your personality you would like your essay to highlight, then write about specific examples to show this.

• If you want to show that you're a motivated leader, describe a time when you organized an event or supervised other volunteers.
• If you want to show your teamwork skills, write about a time you helped a group of people work together better.
• If you want to show that you're a compassionate animal lover, write about taking care of neglected shelter animals and helping each of them find homes.

Step 5: State What You Accomplished

After you have described your community service and given specific examples of your work, you want to begin to wrap your essay up by stating your accomplishments. What was the impact of your community service? Did you build a house for a family to move into? Help students improve their reading skills? Clean up a local park? Make sure the impact of your work is clear; don't be worried about bragging here.

If you can include specific numbers, that will also strengthen your essay. Saying "I delivered meals to 24 home-bound senior citizens" is a stronger example than just saying "I delivered meals to lots of senior citizens."

Also be sure to explain why your work matters. Why is what you did important? Did it provide more parks for kids to play in? Help students get better grades? Give people medical care who would otherwise not have gotten it? This is an important part of your essay, so make sure to go into enough detail that your readers will know exactly what you accomplished and how it helped your community.

"My biggest accomplishment during my community service was helping to organize a family event at the retirement home. The children and grandchildren of many residents attended, and they all enjoyed playing games and watching movies together."

"The community service accomplishment that I'm most proud of is the work I did to help organize the First Annual Family Fun Day at the retirement home. My job was to design and organize fun activities that senior citizens and their younger relatives could enjoy. The event lasted eight hours and included ten different games, two performances, and a movie screening with popcorn. Almost 200 residents and family members attended throughout the day. This event was important because it provided an opportunity for senior citizens to connect with their family members in a way they aren't often able to. It also made the retirement home seem more fun and enjoyable to children, and we have seen an increase in the number of kids coming to visit their grandparents since the event."

The second passage is stronger for a variety of reasons. First, it goes into much more detail about the work the volunteer did. The first passage only states that she helped "organize a family event." That really doesn't tell readers much about her work or what her responsibilities were. The second passage is much clearer; her job was to "design and organize fun activities."

The second passage also explains the event in more depth. A family day can be many things; remember that your readers are likely not familiar with what you're talking about, so details help them get a clearer picture.

Lastly, the second passage makes the importance of the event clear: it helped residents connect with younger family members, and it helped retirement homes seem less intimidating to children, so now some residents see their grand kids more often.

Step 6: Discuss What You Learned

One of the final things to include in your essay should be the impact that your community service had on you. You can discuss skills you learned, such as carpentry, public speaking, animal care, or another skill.

You can also talk about how you changed personally. Are you more patient now? More understanding of others? Do you have a better idea of the type of career you want? Go into depth about this, but be honest. Don't say your community service changed your life if it didn't because trite statements won't impress readers.

In order to support your statements, provide more examples. If you say you're more patient now, how do you know this? Do you get less frustrated while playing with your younger siblings? Are you more willing to help group partners who are struggling with their part of the work? You've probably noticed by now that including specific examples and details is one of the best ways to create a strong and believable essay .

"As a result of my community service, I learned a lot about building houses and became a more mature person."

"As a result of my community service, I gained hands-on experience in construction. I learned how to read blueprints, use a hammer and nails, and begin constructing the foundation of a two-bedroom house. Working on the house could be challenging at times, but it taught me to appreciate the value of hard work and be more willing to pitch in when I see someone needs help. My dad has just started building a shed in our backyard, and I offered to help him with it because I know from my community service how much work it is. I also appreciate my own house more, and I know how lucky I am to have a roof over my head."

The second passage is more impressive and memorable because it describes the skills the writer learned in more detail and recounts a specific story that supports her claim that her community service changed her and made her more helpful.

Step 7: Finish Strong

Just as you started your essay in a way that would grab readers' attention, you want to finish your essay on a strong note as well. A good way to end your essay is to state again the impact your work had on you, your community, or both. Reiterate how you changed as a result of your community service, why you found the work important, or how it helped others.

Compare these two concluding statements:

"In conclusion, I learned a lot from my community service at my local museum, and I hope to keep volunteering and learning more about history."

"To conclude, volunteering at my city's American History Museum has been a great experience. By leading tours and participating in special events, I became better at public speaking and am now more comfortable starting conversations with people. In return, I was able to get more community members interested in history and our local museum. My interest in history has deepened, and I look forward to studying the subject in college and hopefully continuing my volunteer work at my university's own museum."

The second passage takes each point made in the first passage and expands upon it. In a few sentences, the second passage is able to clearly convey what work the volunteer did, how she changed, and how her volunteer work benefited her community.

The author of the second passage also ends her essay discussing her future and how she'd like to continue her community service, which is a good way to wrap things up because it shows your readers that you are committed to community service for the long-term.

What's Next?

Are you applying to a community service scholarship or thinking about it? We have a complete list of all the community service scholarships available to help get your search started!

Do you need a community service letter as well? We have a step-by-step guide that will tell you how to get a great reference letter from your community service supervisor.

Thinking about doing community service abroad? Before you sign up, read our guide on some of the hazards of international volunteer trips and how to know if it's the right choice for you.

Christine graduated from Michigan State University with degrees in Environmental Biology and Geography and received her Master's from Duke University. In high school she scored in the 99th percentile on the SAT and was named a National Merit Finalist. She has taught English and biology in several countries.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, tips for writing the community essay.

Hi fellow applicants! I've been working on the 'community essay' for some of my applications and I'm having trouble figuring out what to write about. Any advice on how to approach this essay and make it stand out? Thanks!

Hello! Writing a community essay can indeed be challenging, but with the right approach, you can create a standout piece. Here are some tips to help you craft a memorable essay:

1. Reflect on your personal experiences: Think about the communities you belong to, whether they're based on a physical location, a shared interest, or a certain background. Consider how your involvement in these communities has shaped the person you are today, and how you've contributed to their growth or well-being.

2. Be specific and provide anecdotes: To make your essay stand out, it's important to focus on a particular aspect of your community involvement. Share personal stories or unique experiences, rather than simply providing general descriptions of your community engagement.

3. Show growth and self-awareness: A well-written essay should convey the growth and personal development you've experienced through your involvement in a community. Don't be afraid to share challenges you've faced and the lessons you've learned from them. Demonstrating self-awareness and personal growth can give your essay a strong emotional impact.

4. Connect to your future aspirations: Reflect on how your community involvement has shaped your future goals and aspirations, and how you'd like to continue contributing to other communities in the future. This can help create a lasting impression on the admissions committee and show that you're committed to using your education for the betterment of your communities.

5. Edit and revise: As with any essay, make sure to thoroughly proofread and revise your work. This will help ensure that your essay is clear, concise, and free of any errors. Consider seeking feedback from a teacher, mentor, or peer to gain additional insights on how to improve your content.

In summary, to craft a standout community essay, focus on specific personal experiences, illustrate growth and self-awareness, and connect your involvement to your future aspirations. Best of luck with your applications!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

[This article is part of a new series where we will be dissecting each of the UC essay prompts in depth, providing examples and tips on how you can make your application stand out.]

Click here to read yesterday’s post about UC Prompt #6.

Prompt #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Struggling with writing your college application essay?

Read our Ultimate Guide to Stand Out College Essays to learn the tips and techniques on writing a winning essay and maximize your college admission chances!  

This prompt gives you an opportunity to show UCs the type of role you have in your current communities, and how you plan on carrying that to their campus communities.

But what exactly defines a community? This prompt is actually a lot broader than many might think, because the word “community” encompasses so many different groups. Every single student belongs in some sort of community, including but not limited to your:

Neighborhood

The list goes on! This would be the essay to talk about all those hours you spent volunteering at the library or that time you motivated your school to donate to a cause you care deeply about. An important thing to remember is that the experience or community doesn’t necessarily have to be a super unique and impressive opportunity. What matters is the individual contribution and impact you were able to make on this group. 

For example, UC admissions officers would rather see that you helped implement a summer reading program for kids at your local library than read about how you just filed papers at your senator’s office. In the same vein, focus on specificity rather than being broad about your contributions.

Moreover, I think it’s important to also explain how your impact on this community affected you . What did you learn from the experience, and how will you apply that to the future? Admissions officers are trying to figure out how your past experiences will translate into future contributions to their campus community.

Here’s how you might structure this essay:

Describe your community and how it was like before you stepped into it

Explain your thought process in determining the necessary impact that you wanted to make

Detail the steps you took to implement the specific impact you made

Reflect on how the experience affected or changed you

Think about how you might bring the lessons you learned from this experience to college or the future

7EDU has helped hundreds of students connect their experiences to a compelling story. Get started early with a free consultation with our experts.

If you found this article helpful, check out the rest of our deconstructed UC Prompts below:

UC Essay Prompts Explained Writing UC Prompt 1 Tips: Leadership Experience Writing UC Prompt 2 Tips: Your Creative Side Writing UC Prompt 3 Tips:  Greatest Talent Writing UC Prompt 4 Tips:  Educational Experiences Writing UC Prompt 5 Tips:  Significant Challenge Writing UC Prompt 6 Tips:  Favorite Subject Writing UC Prompt 7 Tips:  Improving your Community Writing UC Prompt 8 Tips:  How do you Stand Out?

The Community Essay

“Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke.” 

As with every essay you ship off to admissions – think about something you want admissions to know that hasn’t been represented. What can you expand upon to show your versatility, passion and ability to connect with the world around you?

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Category: Admissions , College Admissions , Essay Tips , Essay Writing , Supplemental Essays

Tags: admissions essay , admissions help , application , application supplement , applications , brainstorming , college admissions , college admissions essay , college application , college application help , college applications , college essay , common application , supplemental essays

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Does my paper flow? Tips for creating a well-structured essay.

by Jessica Diaz

A sure way to improve your paper is to strengthen the way you present your argument. Whether you only have a thesis statement or already have a fully-written essay, these tips can help your paper flow logically from start to finish.

Going from a thesis statement to a first outline

Break down your thesis statement

No matter what you are arguing, your thesis can be broken down into smaller points that need to be backed up with evidence. These claims can often be used to create a ready outline for the rest of your paper, and help you check that you are including all the evidence you should have.

Take the following thesis statement:

Despite the similarities between the documentaries Blackfish and The Cove , the use of excessive anthropomorphism in Blackfish allowed it to achieve more tangible success for animal rights movements, illustrating the need for animal rights documentaries to appeal to human emotion.

We can break the thesis down into everything that needs to be supported:

Despite the similarities between the documentaries Blackfish and The Cove , the use of excessive anthropomorphism in Blackfish allowed it to achieve more tangible success for animal rights movements , illustrating the need for animal rights documentaries to appeal to human emotion .

In the paper, we have to (1) explain and support the similarities between the two documentaries, (2) provide support for excessive anthropomorphism in Blackfish , (3) show that Blackfish achieved more tangible success than The Cove , and (4) demonstrate the importance of human emotion in animal documentaries.

Already, we have four main points that can serve as the backbone for an essay outline, and they are already in an order that makes some intuitive sense for building up the argument.

It is likely that you will need to rearrange, expand, or further break down the outline. For example, in this case we would probably need to add a paragraph that explains anthropomorphism. We also might want to move the section on differences in animal rights success earlier so that it contrasts with the similarities between the films. However, having this starting structure and identifying the main sections of the paper can allow you to go ahead and start writing!

Checking that your argument builds

Reverse outline

While writing, it is often hard to take a step back and assess whether your paper makes sense or reads well. Creating a reverse outline can help you get a zoomed-out picture of what you wrote and helps you see if any paragraphs or ideas need to be rearranged.

To create a reverse outline, go through your paper paragraph-by-paragraph. For each one, read it and summarize the main point of the paragraph in 3-5 words. In most cases, this should align closely with the topic sentence of that paragraph. Once you have gone through the entire paper, you should end up with a list of phrases that, when read in order, walk through your argument.

Does the order make sense? Are the ideas that should go together actually next to each other? Without the extra clutter, the reverse outline helps you answer these questions while looking at your entire structure at once.

Each line of your reverse outline should build on the last one, meaning none of them should make sense in isolation (except the first one). Try pretending you don’t know anything about this topic and read one of your paragraph phrases at random (or read it to someone else!). Does it make sense, or does it need more context? Do the paragraphs that go before it give the context it needs?

The reverse outline method and the line of thinking detailed above help put you in the mind of your reader. Your reader will only encounter your ideas in the order that you give it to them, so it is important to take this step back to make sure that order is the right one.

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my application essays by Rona W. '23

try not to cringe

October 27, 2019

• in Admissions ,

It’s been four years since I applied to MIT, and while I’ve been irrevocably changed in many ways (my meme game has improved exponentially), I am sadly still 5’2″. That’s 157 cm, for the 95.7% of humans who don’t reside in America.

Autumn came late this year; the leaves are only now ripening. The sky is full-bellied with sunshine. Still, we’re on the verge of November, and I’m reminiscing about my own early action application. Here’s what I wrote about, and what I would change if I could do it all over again. Of course, this is only one approach to the essays. The most important thing is to be true to yourself.

• We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)

I wrote this essay about K-pop. However, before I wrote about K-pop, I considered writing about a myriad of other things. I posted to College Confidential, asking which topic would best showcase my abilities, and promptly got roasted for trying to turn this essay into another opportunity to humblebrag. Lesson learned. It’s actually okay to do things for fun, guys.

I still love K-pop; however, I could also see current-me writing an essay about memes or naps. I didn’t truly appreciate the value of either of these things until I got to college.

• Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words or fewer)

I initially misunderstood this question and wrote about wanting to help out with the Harvard-MIT Math Tournament, which I participated in during high school. Then my dad was like, “I’m pretty sure they mean an  academic  program,” and I wrote a new essay, which you can read below:

With passion for both English and mathematics, I’m drawn to MIT’s unique writing department, which offers both creative and science writing. I’m particularly interested in 21W.742[J] Writing about Race and 21W.032 Science Writing and New Media. In my own work, I examine an Asian-American narrative often marginalized in the media; these courses would allow me to explore new ways of bringing visibility to this identity. In addition, I want to study the roles writing can play outside of literature and learn how I can meld my interests to do something that will make an impact.

In retrospect, this essay could’ve focused more on why I particularly wanted to study at  MIT . I didn’t look at the course catalog too carefully. I simply pulled the titles of some classes that sounded interesting and relevant. Perhaps similar courses are offered at other schools; I should’ve researched more about what made MIT unique. (Current-me can confirm MIT does have a pretty kick-ass writing department.)

• At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities in different ways, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being a good friend. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200-250 words)

I wrote about organizing my school’s Harvard-MIT Math Tournament team and about starting an online writing mentorship program. Current-me wants to be obnoxious and point out that leading is not necessarily the same as contributing, but to seventeen-year-old Rona, these examples were the most obvious ones to write about, even if they weren’t truly the most impactful. Still, I cared a lot about these initiatives, had fun carrying them out, and saw their effects ripple through the communities I was part of. Maybe that’s all that matters.

• Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

For this one, I wrote about slam poetry:

The stage lights burst open, blinding and white. I trembled. I was at the citywide poetry slam, Verselandia, about to perform in front of hundreds.  Earlier in the month, I had qualified through my high school’s contest, which I had signed up for because, “Hey, there might be free cookies!” (There were not.) At the time, I didn’t know much about spoken word besides from street performers (this was downtown Portland, after all). But I practiced in front of my mirror, my friends, and my faithful stuffed animals. Ultimately, I’d placed first at school. At Verselandia, I watched others perform about abuse, racism, and feminism. A few talked about their LGBTQ+ identities; one addressed bisexual erasure, which I could personally relate to. Slowly, I realized that writing didn’t serve just as a cathartic outlet; it could startle others into empathy and create awareness.  At the slam, I delivered lines like “ Your heritage is more than an exotic enigma. ” Afterwards, several Chinese-American classmates told me they could relate. I realized that my writing had the power to give these experiences visibility, which in turn might help erase damaging yet common preconceptions about my ethnicity. As a Portland Youth Poet Ambassador, I have opportunities to not only promote creative writing, but also advocate for social equality. Through poetry, I want to depict not only a narrative from a person of color, but also a narrative of a queer person of color–a perspective almost completely obsolete in the media.

In my opinion, this essay doesn’t do a great job of answering the actual question; it doesn’t provide a good sense of what Portland is like, or how it has shaped me. In retrospect, the coolest part of doing slam poetry was the opportunity to see Portland outside of the upper-middle-class suburban bubble I resided in. Through poetry, I met kids from all over the city. Each one of them had something to say: sometimes devastating, sometimes uplifting, but always astonishing. I wish I had focused more on that.

• Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

I had a lot of trouble with this essay, because I wasn’t sure if I could write about a personal family issue. I fretted. Maybe it was oversharing; maybe I should stick with a safe topic, like failing my driver’s ed test or not having a prom date. Ultimately, though, I took the risk, and I don’t regret it.

If you’re applying to college this year, my best advice is to be yourself . It’s overused, I know, and whether or not any of us even have a self is a discussion for another blog post. But the application process is an opportunity to reflect upon the last several years of your life; don’t squander it by writing what you think someone else might want to hear. Also, being genuine seems way less stressful.

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How To Change Your Community Essay

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How to Make Your Essay Better: 7 Tips for Stronger Essays

Krystal N. Craiker

Essay writing doesn’t have to be intimidating. With a few tips, you can improve your writing skills for any type of academic essay.

How to Write Better Essays

7 tips on how to make your essay better, how to become a better essay writer.

The best way to sum up how to write better essays is, “Make sure you’re answering the question.”

This sounds obvious, but you would be surprised how many students struggle with this.

From not understanding the prompt to poor research skills to off-topic body paragraphs, it’s easy for an essay to derail.

We’ve got seven tips for writing better essays that will help you avoid common mistakes and craft the best essays possible.

Here are our top tips for improving your essay writing skills.

Understand the Prompt or Research Question

The first step in your writing process is to fully understand the essay topic. If your professor gave you a prompt for your academic essay, spend some time analyzing it.

First, take note of whether you’re writing an expository or persuasive essay. The tone, structure, and word choice will differ between essay types.

Pay close attention to the wording of the prompt.

If your teacher wants you to “analyze” the effects of new technology in World War I, but you turn in a descriptive overview of the technology, you are not answering the question.

If they have given you a topic but no prompt, you’ll need to create a guiding question for your research.

Be specific in what you are trying to research, or you’ll end up overwhelmed with a topic that is too big in scope.

“Symbolism in modern literature” is too broad for a term paper, but “How does F. Scott Fitzgerald use symbolism in The Great Gatsby ?” is an achievable topic.

Take Excellent Notes

Once you understand exactly what your essay is about, you can begin the research phase. Create a strong note-taking system.

Write down any idea or quote you might want to use. Cite every note properly to save time on your citations and to avoid accidental plagiarism.

Once you have gathered your research, organize your notes into categories. This will help you plan the structure of your essay.

You’ll likely find that some of your research doesn’t fit into your essay once you start writing. That’s okay—it’s better to have too much information to support your argument than too little.

Write a Strong Thesis Statement

Possibly the most important step in essay writing is to craft a strong thesis statement. A thesis statement is a brief—usually single-sentence—explanation of what your essay is about.

The thesis statement guides the entire essay: every point you make should support your thesis.

A strong thesis is specific and long enough to address the major points of your essay.

In a persuasive or argumentative essay, your thesis should clearly establish the argument you are making.

Make an Outline

Once you have all your research, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. How do you turn the information into a cohesive essay?

Rather than writing an essay with no roadmap, an outline will keep you on track. An outline helps you organize your thoughts, plan your arguments, and sort your research.

A good outline saves you time, too! You can compile the relevant evidence in your notes before writing, so you don’t have to find that specific quote in the middle of essay writing.

An outline will also stop you from reading your finished essay and realizing you went completely off track.

With an outline, you can avoid finding paragraphs that don’t support your thesis right before you submit the essay.

Craft a Great Introduction

An academic essay needs a strong introductory paragraph.

The introduction is the first impression of your essay. It prepares the reader for what’s coming and gets them excited to read your paper.

A good introduction has three things:

• A hook (e.g. insightful statement, quote, interesting fact)
• Brief background information about the topic
• A thesis statement

Using this formula will help you write a strong introduction for your essay.

Have Original Ideas and Interpretations

The best academic writing advice a professor ever gave me was, “You’ve shown me what other people have said about the topic. I want to know what you think about the topic.”

Even a fact-heavy or data-heavy essay needs original ideas and interpretations. For every piece of information you cite, whether you quote or paraphrase it , offer original commentary.

Focus on insights, new interpretations, or even questions that you have. These are all ways to provide original ideas in your essay.

Proofread for Readability

A good essay is a proofread essay.

Readability, or how easy something is to read, has many factors. Spelling and grammar are important, but so is sentence structure, word choice , and other stylistic features.

Academic essays should be readable without being too simple. In general, aim for a readability score that is close to your grade level in school.

There are several ways to check readability scores, including using ProWritingAid’s Readability Report.

The quickest way to increase readability is to fix grammar and spelling mistakes . You can also raise the readability score by using more complex and compound-complex sentences.

ProWritingAid can offer suggestions on how to improve your essay and take it to the next level.

Our free essay checker will check for spelling and grammar errors, plus several other types of writing mistakes.

The essay checker will offer you suggestions on sentence length and passive voice.

It will help you trim the excess words that bog down your writing by analyzing your sticky sentences and overused words.

The essay checker is here to help you turn in an error-free essay.

Want to improve your essay writing skills?

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Krystal N. Craiker is the Writing Pirate, an indie romance author and blog manager at ProWritingAid. She sails the seven internet seas, breaking tropes and bending genres. She has a background in anthropology and education, which brings fresh perspectives to her romance novels. When she’s not daydreaming about her next book or article, you can find her cooking gourmet gluten-free cuisine, laughing at memes, and playing board games. Krystal lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband, child, and basset hound.

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How to Improve Your Community

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A (Very) Simple Way to Improve Your Writing

• Mark Rennella

It’s called the “one-idea rule” — and any level of writer can use it.

The “one idea” rule is a simple concept that can help you sharpen your writing, persuade others by presenting your argument in a clear, concise, and engaging way. What exactly does the rule say?

• Every component of a successful piece of writing should express only one idea.
• In persuasive writing, your “one idea” is often the argument or belief you are presenting to the reader. Once you identify what that argument is, the “one-idea rule” can help you develop, revise, and connect the various components of your writing.
• For instance, let’s say you’re writing an essay. There are three components you will be working with throughout your piece: the title, the paragraphs, and the sentences.
• Each of these parts should be dedicated to just one idea. The ideas are not identical, of course, but they’re all related. If done correctly, the smaller ideas (in sentences) all build (in paragraphs) to support the main point (suggested in the title).

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Most advice about writing looks like a long laundry list of “do’s and don’ts.” These lists can be helpful from time to time, but they’re hard to remember … and, therefore, hard to depend on when you’re having trouble putting your thoughts to paper. During my time in academia, teaching composition at the undergraduate and graduate levels, I saw many people struggle with this.

• MR Mark Rennella is Associate Editor at HBP and has published two books, Entrepreneurs, Managers, and Leaders and The Boston Cosmopolitans .  

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How to Improve Essay Writing

Last Updated: December 28, 2023 References

This article was co-authored by Christopher Taylor, PhD . Christopher Taylor is an Adjunct Assistant Professor of English at Austin Community College in Texas. He received his PhD in English Literature and Medieval Studies from the University of Texas at Austin in 2014. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 42,503 times.

Do your teachers always mark up your essays with red ink? Are you eager to learn how to express yourself clearly and effectively? If so, there are plenty of steps you can take to improve your essay writing skills. Improve your grammar, refine your style, and learn how to structure a well-organized essay. Since academic essays are especially tricky, learn the ins and outs of formal, scholarly writing. Be sure to read as much as possible; seeing how other authors use language can improve your own writing.

Improving Your Grammar and Style

• For example, while writing, you might not know whether to use “who” or “whom,” so you check the rule online. You’d use “who” for a person doing an action (called a subject), and “whom” for someone who gets something done to them (called an object). “Who called you,” and “Whom did you call” are grammatically correct.
• Find a general guide on grammar at https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/grammar/index.html .
• If you’re a student, see if your school has a writing lab. If so, they’ll have useful resources on grammar and tutors who can help you improve basic writing skills.

• That said, some exceptions apply. If you’re discussing a scientific study, “The subjects were divided into control and experimental groups,” is better than “Researchers divided the subjects into control and experimental groups.” This is because passive voice emphasizes the object of the action rather than the subject. In scientific writing, the object is more important than the subject.

• For example, “The author of the selection establishes the foundation of the work’s controlling metaphor in the initial stanza,” is packed with unnecessary words. A cleaner version of this example could be, “The author introduces the poem’s controlling metaphor in the first stanza.”
• Instead of “The animal sleeps during the day and is active at nighttime,” write “The animal is nocturnal.”
• Rather than "The fox ran very fast," write "The fox sprinted."
• In the sentence, “The argument is compelling and convincing,” compelling and convincing are close enough in meaning. Using one would get the point across, but using both is repetitive.

• Keep in mind the clause that follows a semicolon needs to be a complete sentence. It should also continue the idea conveyed in the clause before the semicolon. Proper use would be, “The platter dates to 1790; examples of British transfer-ware from this period are rare.”
• Use punctuation strategically. A complicated sentence, like this one, with too much, or confusing, or misplaced, punctuation is hard, for most readers, to follow. Aim instead for clear, easy-to-read writing.

• For example, “The platter dates to 1790. It is in pristine condition. There are no nicks or cracks,” are choppy and repetitive.
• Better phrasing would be, “An impressed back-stamp indicates that the platter was made in 1790. With no nicks, cracks, or discoloration, its condition is pristine; few pieces of this age and quality exist.”
• Keep in mind repetitive sentences aren’t necessarily choppy. For instance, “Since the platter has a maker’s mark, accurately determining its age is possible. Since it has no nicks or marks, it is in excellent condition,” are repetitive sentences, even if they’re not short and choppy.

Using Academic Language

• For example, instead of, “I think it’s pretty crazy how the artist made the painting so detailed,” write, “The artist achieves an impressive level of detail.”
• Note that you can use the first person and contractions in less formal essays, such as an autobiographical sketch or college application essay. However, your writing still shouldn’t be too casual. “I found myself questioning my assumptions” is fine but, in most cases, “I was like wow I didn’t know what I was talking about” is too casual.

• Say you’re writing an essay about school uniforms. “Uniforms are good because they make it easier to get ready in the morning,” might be a fair point, but it's not the strongest argument you could make. Backing up your point with objective evidence would be more convincing.
• On the other hand, “According to a 2017 study, schools reported an average of 44% fewer disciplinary referrals the year after implementing mandatory uniforms,” cites a specific, concrete fact.
• Additionally, use specific quantities whenever possible. In this example, “an average of 44% fewer disciplinary referrals,” is more effective than “a significant decrease.” [5] X Trustworthy Source University of North Carolina Writing Center UNC's on-campus and online instructional service that provides assistance to students, faculty, and others during the writing process Go to source

• Learning how to properly use subject-specific terminology can help you express yourself clearly and effectively. Academic writing is a dialogue, and learning the language of a scholarly dialogue is essential.
• For instance, if you’re writing a literary analysis, you might discuss how an author makes a comparison. While technically correct, the word “comparison” isn’t as precise as literary terms such as “metaphor” or “simile.”

• Using convoluted jargon or big words just for the sake of it will make your writing clunky. Furthermore, you’ll lose credibility if you misuse a complex word or technical term.
• For instance, “By utilizing efficacious examples, the author elucidates an irrefutable argument” is verbose. Simpler phrasing would be, “The author presents a convincing argument by using effective examples.”

Mastering the Writing Process

• Note that an essay prompt’s keywords have distinct meanings. Analyze, for example, doesn’t mean to describe; it means to pull apart and examine something’s structure.
• Suppose you have to analyze an argument. Your essay needs identify the argument's rhetorical elements, such as pathos (appeals to emotion), logos (employing reason or logic), or ethos (relying on authority or credibility). After breaking down the argument's structure, you'll then need to explain how the author uses these devices to make their case.

• Remember to check your sources’ credibility. If you’re writing about a former president, find the biography scholars consider most authoritative. Check the authoritative biography’s footnotes and references, which will help you track down more reputable sources.
• You won't conduct thorough research if you’re writing an essay for a test. Instead, read the sources provided with the exam. For example, if a literature essay test requires you to analyze an excerpt, read the passage carefully.

• For instance, “Schools should implement mandatory uniforms because they reduce disciplinary issues, help students focus on learning, and promote school spirit,” is clear and specific.
• The thesis, “Mandatory uniforms are beneficial, so schools should implement them,” makes a claim, but “beneficial” is vague. It doesn’t convey why uniforms are good, so it’s not a strong thesis.

• For the next Roman numerals, write the subtopics, citations, and other details that you’ll cover in each body paragraph.
• In the following example, Roman number II. would be an essay section, and letters A. through D. are body paragraphs that each focus on a sub-topic: II. Uniforms reduce disciplinary issues   A. 44% decrease in detentions after introducing uniforms (Smith, 2017)   B. Suspension decreased by 60% (Smith, 2017)   C. Absenteeism and tardiness decreased (Pew, 2013)   D. 66% of students report less bullying (Ohio Board of Education, 2016)

• Topic sentence: School uniforms may reduce the number of serious behavioral problems.
• Explain: Evidence suggests dressing alike lowers peer pressure, promotes discipline, and prevents the display of controversial or offensive imagery.
• Evidence: For example, according to the Ohio Board of Education, schools that introduced uniforms reported 44% fewer disciplinary referrals, such as detentions and suspensions. Furthermore, 66% of surveyed students said they witnessed fewer bullying incidents after they started wearing uniforms.
• Link: These findings suggest that implementing uniforms is an effective way to foster a disciplined school environment.

• A counterargument could be, “Opponents claim that mandatory uniforms stifle self-expression and lower self-esteem. Although uniforms do prevent personal expressions of style, studies show they actually improve confidence and encourage the expression of ideas. Rather than harm self-image, research suggests that uniforms positively impact mental health. In a 10-year Oxford University study, a majority of students reported that wearing uniforms boosts their self-esteem. With a level playing field, they worry less about choosing clothes that fit the norm.”

• First, revise your essay’s content. Check for unclear language, unorganized spots, awkward sentences, and weak word choices. Next, proofread your work and fix any spelling or grammatical errors.
• For important essays, like a term paper or an admissions essay, have someone read your work and offer feedback.
• In general, try to leave a day for edits at the bare minimum. For a big research paper, scheduling a week or more is ideal.
• For a quick, paragraph-long assignment that’s due the next day, you might only need 15 or 20 minutes for revisions. If you're taking a timed essay test, set aside the last 5 to 10 minutes to check your work.

Expert Q&A

• To improve your writing, read as much as you can. Reading a mix of fiction, newspaper articles, and scholarly works will help you learn new ways to structure sentences, refine your grammar skills, and improve your vocabulary. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• You might not have to conduct thorough research or develop a scholarly thesis if you’re writing an informal essay. However, basic elements such as strong word choices, varied sentence structures, and concise language still apply. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/passive-voice/
• ↑ https://slc.berkeley.edu/nine-basic-ways-improve-your-style-academic-writing
• ↑ https://emedia.rmit.edu.au/learninglab/sites/default/files/academic_style.pdf
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/sciences/
• ↑ https://emedia.rmit.edu.au/learninglab/sites/default/files/vocabulary.pdf
• ↑ https://emedia.rmit.edu.au/learninglab/sites/default/files/Essay_writing_process_accessible_2015.pdf
• ↑ https://emedia.rmit.edu.au/learninglab/sites/default/files/super%20essay.pdf
• ↑ https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/developing-thesis
• ↑ https://emedia.rmit.edu.au/learninglab/content/paragraph-structure

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15 ideas to improve community spirit

Here are 15 ideas to help community spirit soar high all year round.

1) Host a Big Lunch

You can hold a Big Lunch anytime, anywhere! Whether it’s a chat over a slice of cake or a full dinner, come together to share somefriendship, food and festive fun and you’ll give your commnity spirit a real boost. 

2) Start a private WhatsApp, Facebook or Nextdoor group for your street

Share ideas, have discussions and stay in the loop with each other. You could drop a card through everyone’s door asking if they’d like to be added. If you don’t know everyone’s names yet, ask all members to ask their neighbours left and right so that eventually everyone’s been invited.

3) Start a Monthly Meet Up

This can be in a format that suits your neighbourhood. Perhaps it’s in the church hall at the end of the street, or maybe you take it in turns to host – with a different theme each time! It could be potluck dinners, wine and cheese nights or even Sunday brunch! From here you can discuss further projects, clubs and fun activities.

4) Spread a little kindness

If you haven’t got time to organise an event or start an initiative, don’t worry! A little goes a long way when it comes to boosting community spirit. Simply bringing in the neighbours’ bin, leaving out surplus fruit and veg, baking and toys or offering to take their dog for a walk are lovely ways to spread a little kindness – and without spending a penny.

5) Have a Street Swap day

One neighbour’s trash is another one’s treasure. Organise a morning where people can put out good quality items they no longer want, free to go to a good neighbour’s home!

6) Sign up to Streetbank

Streetbank is a website that lets groups create a bank of handy items—think ladders, backpacks, trailers etc. where people can borrow items easily, and also request items to easily ask if one exists in their community.

7) Start a community project

Think of something your group can take ownership of and be proud of: maybe a communal veggie garden, an art project, a walking school bus, or a phone booth book swap! A perfect way to give your community spirit a boost. We’ve got lots of advice and inspiration to help you start a community project .

8) Look after your elderly and vulnerable neighbours

See if anyone in your neighbourhood would benefit from help with shopping, appointments or home maintenance. Or perhaps they’d just like someone to pop over for a cup of tea once in a while! If you’re happy to reach out, you could always post a friendly note through letterboxes to let them know how they could get in touch.

9) Have a street working bee

Get together and have a street clean up and gardening day—pick up litter, weed hedges and footpath edges, remove or paint over graffiti—then celebrate your sparkling clean street with a shared meal. Find more tips for making your community greener .

10) Arrange a play day for the kids

Plan some fun activities—maybe the ‘Fun Olympics’ in a local park or hall so that children of the neighbourhood get to know each other and make new friends.

11) Create a ‘Street scrapbook’

Gather stories, photos, clippings, drawings and quotes etc. from all neighbours and create a scrapbook that captures the community’s spirit—add to it or create a new one each year to reminisce over in future years.

12) Walk together

Getting active is easier when there’s a group waiting for you. Start a group for regular walking, whether it’s a pre-work power walk, a mid-morning march or a sun-down saunter! During the darker months, you could organise a living advent calendar in your neighbourhood and host a walk to discover all the windows.

13) Volunteer together

Identify a cause you’re passionate about and get to know each other while giving back!

14) Fundraise for community improvement

Organise a weekly raffle, mow lawns, clean cars, sell cakes—you get the idea—to raise money for a community initiative that will make you all happier. Maybe a neighbourhood picnic table, a children’s playground area, a neighbourhood marquee or BBQ, or a base kitty so you’re sorted when a need arises. We’ve got some ideas to help you get started on fundraising for your community .

15) Look for community funding opportunities

Keep your eyes peeled for pots of community funding to help you with your projects. Start with Funding Central and your local council, and make sure to keep an eye on social media too. Read our advice on how to find funding for your community .

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Organise a school walking bus

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How to Write the Community Essay for UPenn

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by Vinay Bhaskara and Aja Altenhof in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered:

Writing about diversity, consider unconventional identities and perspectives, navigating the word count.

The University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) requires applicants to submit supplemental essays in addition to the main Common App essay . For the second supplemental essay, UPenn asks students to respond to the following prompt:

How will you explore community at Penn? Consider Penn will shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)

This article provides some tips to help you craft your response to this essay prompt, including strategies to avoid common topics, as well as tips to navigate the short word limit.

When approaching this prompt, many students first think to write about diversity, equity, and inclusion. While this topic can work in some cases, it is important to note that this prompt is not inherently about diversity. It is first and foremost a space to showcase the best parts of yourself outside of the classroom that will positively impact, and thrive within, the UPenn community.

Students who have a unique or interesting approach to answering this question typically tend to be the most successful when it comes to writing about diversity for this prompt. If you are interested in writing about diversity, equity, and inclusion, but your topic is not nuanced or particularly strong, you can consider other strategies and topics for this essay.

One strategic way to choose a topic for this prompt is by being unconventional in how you define your perspective or identity, especially when you consider your mindset and elements of your personality. 

As you consider your perspective, it can be helpful to explore how that perspective has been defined through your experiences. For example, depending on your background, you could consider what it is like to go through life as an athlete, as a journalist, or as a debater. 

Keep in mind that you will ultimately have to consider how that perspective impacts your engagement with the community around you, and the personality and values that you bring to the table.

In truth, this supplemental essay may be the trickiest of the three UPenn essays to write. This is because you have to address both parts of the prompt, how UPenn is going to shape your perspective or identity, and how your identity and perspective will shape UPenn, all within just 200 words. There are a few useful tactics that you can employ to help navigate this essay’s short word count.

One trick you can use to help you navigate this essay is by using a “call and response structure.” In this structure, you describe a trait that you have and then, within the same sentence, articulate a behavior or an outcome that this trait will cause on campus. You can also use this structure in the opposite way, to highlight an aspect of Penn’s campus experience and the way in which it will impact your own identity or perspective.

Furthermore, because this essay is on the shorter side, it can be difficult to tell a full story within it. That said, you certainly can hint at an anecdote or an experience that relates to the value, unique perspective, and opportunities and experiences that you will bring with you to UPenn.

For more information on writing UPenn’s supplemental essays, check out our post on How to Write the UPenn Supplemental Essays 2022-2023 .

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