what is more important family or career essay

School Life Balance , Tips for Online Students

Career vs Family: Must it Be a Binary Choice?

Updated: July 15, 2022

Published: April 3, 2020

A lot of people have the dream of being successful in their career and also raising a family. While it’s a lot to balance two important aspects of life that demand so much of your time, it is doable. When deciding whether career vs family should be your priority, there are a lot of aspects to consider. Let’s break down what to consider and if the dilemma of choosing career over family is in fact even a reality.

Family vs. Career

In many cases, women tend to bear the brunt of this dilemma as women have historically been the primary caretaker of children. However, as women have defined their position in the workforce, and even continue to outnumber men in education, this question faces every sex and gender.

In the same vein, men have historically been the breadwinner and are expected to succeed in their careers to be providers. Their place in the family was understated in terms of time spent with the children.

Yet, times are massively changing. There are new definitions of family structures and typically gender roles are going out the window. Therefore, the truth is, you don’t have to look at the situation as binary. You can still have a successful career and raise a happy family, on your own terms.

To do this, it takes a shift in mentality, proper time management , and attention to creating the right balance that works for you.

Photo by  Picsea  on  Unsplash

Must you choose.

Making a choice between family or career no longer makes sense. Back in the day, society had more clearly defined roles. But, with changes in our realities comes changing patterns of thought. Rather than feeling guilty for dedicating time to work, spend that energy on being fully present when you are with your family.

The best way to find the balance to do both is to always remain present in the moment. This takes practice and mindfulness, but once you attain this skill, it can be life-changing.

A 5-Year “Sacrifice”

If you’re not simply trying to balance work and family well enough, but rather your goal is to be great in one or the other, then something has got to give. That’s because there are only 24 hours in a day, and nothing you can do will change this fact.

However, if you decide that moving up in your career is the bigger priority, then you have to be willing to sacrifice at least 5 years of your life to parenting.

Why 5 years?

The 2-5 Timeline of Parenting

The idea is that kids generally start school around age 5 , which means some time will be freed up where they don’t have to be in your care. If you decide that moving up in your career means a lot to you for financial stability and also expertise or passion, then you may want to consider having children earlier in your career. It will be easier to come back into the workforce at a younger age and catch up.

Striking the Right Balance

Finding the right balance of when to push for a career and when to push for a family is highly subjective. However, two important considerations that come into play are wealth planning and education.

There’s a chance that you will have worked for a few years after graduating from college. In this case, you may want to pursue a master’s or doctoral degree, but you also want to start a family. How can you balance both?

You need to be solution-oriented because there is always a way. One example to solve this conundrum would be to attend online college like the University of the People. That way, you can potentially start your family, earn your higher education on a flexible schedule, and then re-enter the workforce with a higher degree. This can kill two birds with one stone as your higher degree will earn you more money. That way, you can potentially work less hours than you would have otherwise had to and still be able to support your family.

There are different ways to maximize your time and energy in any situation. Rather than choosing to do nothing, you can choose to design your life how you envision it. This comes with:

1. Addressing the Issue

More often than not, men may have particular difficulty expressing their family obligations within a work setting. By ignoring that family matters to you, you are allowing everyone within your workplace to do the same. Speak up and if there’s an important family milestone that means you have to leave work early, then let your superiors know in advance. Everyone generally accepts and understands what family means to people.

2. Prioritizing your Time

If something comes up at work or in your personal life that isn’t serving your goals, learn how to say “no.” Learning to say no goes hand-in-hand with properly managing your time.

3. Changing Your Work Mentality

Family and work are both important parts of your life. That means that they don’t have to exist in their own separate bubbles. Not only can you take lessons from work back home to your family and vice versa, but you can also be sure to talk about family at work. You already probably talk about work with family. These types of discussions may even strengthen relationships with those you can connect with in the workplace.

Photo by  Christina Morillo  from  Pexels

Workplace policies are changing.

Cultures and societies shift over time. That’s why as norms change, so do structures that are in place to accommodate them. Although most places still have a ways to go in terms of work/family balance, companies are beginning to take notice of how important it is. For example, most countries have laws about maternity and paternity leave.

A lot of workplaces are even adapting for those who return from maternity leave and either have to bring their babies to work or continue to take care of their familial duties while at work. To exemplify, some companies started to build maternity rooms for new mothers so that they have a private place to pump breast milk. That’s just one example of how the workplace culture is shifting to accept family duties.

Things to Consider

While the above argument discusses theoretical approaches to work/life balance like time management, there are major practical implications that need to be considered. These include:

1. Family Status

Are you a single-parent household? This may be the most challenging scenario to being able to balance work and family because you are raising a child alone. That will require your attention and time, undoubtedly. You’ll have to ask yourself what’s really more important for your long-term goals.

2. Monthly Income

Naturally, money is a major concern when choosing family or jobs. To have a family, you have to be able to provide the necessities like food and shelter. But, even if you don’t want a family and you instead prioritize work, will all that money make you happy?

3. Social Bias

No matter what you choose to dedicate more of your time to, there will be people who judge you and call you out. The most important thing in this case is to remain true to yourself. It’s your life to live and what others say truly does not matter.

4. Raising Children

A lot of people will testify that being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding.

5. Long-Term Results

As is every choice in your life, your own opinion and subjective viewpoint is primary. You need to decide where you see yourself down the line and what decisions will make you look back without regrets.

Tips to Balance Career and Family

When balancing career and family, which so many people do, take into consideration these tips to help:

Wherever you are, be present. When you’re at work, don’t obsess about the fact you could be with family. When you’re with family, try not to think about what work you have to do. When you do this, you are detracting energy from what is in front of you and how successful you can be in that time.

Create Alone Time

No matter what you’re balancing in your life, it’s important to take care of yourself. Through self-care and alone time, you can recharge your batteries to be fully immersed in your daily life.

Release Guilt

Guilt is an emotion that doesn’t facilitate action. Rather, it’s draining. Try to release any feelings of guilt and be easy on yourself. You’re doing the best you can!

Tips for Working and Going to School

Perhaps you’re not ready yet for a family, but to prepare for when that day comes, you want to pursue an education while you work and save money. Here are some useful ways to know how to work full time and go to school:

• Online courses: Consider attending an online university like the University of the People – a non-profit, university aimed at breaking barriers in the way of higher education. Because the courses are 100% online, this allows you to set up your own schedule and learn at your own pace. Better yet, you could save a lot of money because studying with UoPeople is completely tuition-free .
• Communicate with managers: Make sure your managers at work know you are going to school. They will likely work with you so that you can arrange your work schedule to accommodate big events at school, like finals or tests.
• Time management: Time management is key throughout your whole life. Being able to manage your time will relieve stress and maximize productivity.
• Use learning on the job: Be sure to apply what you learn in school on the job and vice versa.
• Possible tuition assistance or work study: There are always options for financial aid. Choose from tuition assistance, work study, scholarships, grants, or loans.

The Bottom Line

Ultimately, deciding where you spend your time and how you prioritize your career and your family comes down to a choice you make. However, there are not many things in life that are purely black and white. Instead, it takes balance and precision to manage your time in a way that you can succeed in your job and also care adequately for your family.

Everyone’s situation is different, so once you decide what is right for you, dedicate yourself entirely to that decision and make it happen (guilt-free, of course)!

Related Articles

FAMILY Vs WORK; What is more important?

wolf4bunny 1 / 1   May 1, 2013   #1 This is my very first essay, so i will appreciate all your help! Topic: What do you think is more important, family or work? Though the majority of us will answer without hesitation: "family", why do we keep spending time, effort and stress on work? Actually, we all try to work because we need money to pay the bills, to pay for school fees and health cares, etc. Nevertheless, it is clear that money can never buy happiness; money can only support our daily life as well as meet our needs. Therefore, I think work will just come and go, but those people that you share blood with will always be there for you to lean on. Firstly, family is the most important factor that contributes to shape your personality. You can learn many valuable lessons from your family's members: your father will teach you how to treat people with respect while your mother will tell you to be warm-hearted with them. Moreover, only by arguing with your siblings can you be aware of controlling yourself and being patient whenever there is a conflict. With all these personal growth you have learned in family comes a rise in your skills in refraining from losing temper with colleagues, remaining vital relationships or embracing failure at work. Above all, your family will show you the way to react to every matter in real life, which you will read in no book. Secondly, family is the only place where you can return and rest after the day of working hard. We can always share every little thing with our parents. Regardless of how awful or fascinating it could be, our parents will listen to us sympathetically and even give us useful advice. I will come clean. No matter how hard you try to work for a company, when you slip up is the time they take notices and critisize you. Meanwhile, your family will not only stand by you through thick and thin, but they also light up the right way for you. After a certain point, family is the permanent life force that strengthens you to chase your dream, encourages you to make career, supports you and loves you that nothing can replace it. Our families do understand the problems we have to confront with, the feelings that we cannot express, and what's more, they are willing to sacrifice for us. By saying about the importance of family, we cannot help mentioning the consequence of work. Work is something you do to survive, to satisfy your daily demands. Furthermore, work is also the embodiment of ambitions and dreams. As far as we are aware, we work because we are interested in devoting our understanding as well as our strength to boost our society. However, the point is when you are in the bottom line, you can quit that job, but it is impossible for you to abandon your family. In conclusion, family ranks first, work always second. One can replace their job but they absolutely cannot find another family in their lifetime. Life is empty and meaningless if you have no one to share things. That is what family for, to help and support you when you need it the most. Neither work nor co-wokers will be willing to give you a hand in difficulties. Work just helps to make us who we are and we enjoy sharing that with the ones we love.

OP wolf4bunny 1 / 1   May 1, 2013   #3 Thank you so much Dumi!

Which comes first: your job or your family?

Before we can even begin to expect to change the culture around gender and family, particularly raising children, we have to stop asking that question.

In 2012, Anne-Marie Slaughter, who had stepped down from her job as the first woman to be director of policy planning at the State Department after her teenage son began to struggle seriously at school and at home, wrote Why Women Still Can’t Have It All for The Atlantic about her decision and the societal forces that drove it. In 2015, her husband, Andrew Moravcsik, told “the other half” of the family’s story for the same magazine: Why I Put My Wife’s Career First .

Both are nuanced, thoughtful looks at how our society makes it difficult to be both breadwinner and caregiver, particularly for those passionate about both roles. But the either-or headlines, and the emphasis on gender, threaten to derail the conversation rather than expand it. Men and women come at this from different perspectives; we don’t make choices about our lives in a vacuum. But instead of highlighting why we’re pushed, based on gender, off one end or the other of the supposed work-family seesaw, let’s put the big capital letters on the lines about why we can’t find ways for everyone to stay on the various metaphorical rides.

Mr. Moravcsik was the “lead parent” in the Slaughter-Moravcsik family, and he also achieved considerable professional success, in part because his career choice allowed him the flexibility to perform the familiar white-collar work-family dance , putting in the bulk of work hours during school and after bedtime, avoiding travel, not drawing attention to the times his absence from the office wasn’t to teach a class or take a meeting, but to attend an activity or child-related appointment. His gender made that personally more difficult, he writes (“had I read decades of writing by working mothers, I would have known that ‘I am not doing anything well’ is a mantra”), but may, perversely, have also helped him. If he was more focused on his sons than his office at times, it’s unlikely that anyone at his employer ever assumed, either directly or subconsciously, that that was the case.

In spite of the headline, Mr. Moravcsik’s is a success story. He may have “put his wife’s career first,” but let no one think he neglected his own. He was able to make his career flexible enough to manage the often inflexible needs of the people who are important to him, and still get the work done, and done well. His role as “lead parent” shouldn’t be used to suggest that his job performance was lesser, even if he could, at times, have reached for more rungs on the academic ladder.

“Unexpected things come up, and they require you, not somebody you hire,” he said. Anyone with a family knows what that is like, and nearly any job could accommodate it, but relatively few do. Too often, we still allow employers to make demands that assume (whether they’re aware of it or not) that everyone from the check-out clerk to the trauma surgeon must be constantly on call to be of any worth.

“Whose career comes first” is not the right question for a two-parent family, and “Which comes first, your family or your job” is not the right question for anyone. The question is: Why do we make it so hard for so many people to have, not “it all,” but both? For men lucky enough to have workplace flexibility, as Ms. Slaughter writes, and as Josh Levs has covered so well in his book, “All In: How Our Work-First Culture Fails Dads, Families and Businesses — And How We Can Fix It Together,” embracing it is harder than it should be. “We talk about working moms,” Mr. Moravcsik says. “We need to talk about working dads, too.” For women, the assumption that they require flexibility that their male counterparts do not can stall a career. That is one reason Mr. Levs’s book and Mr. Moravcsik’s article are important — they reinforce what we should already know. Family is not a “women’s issue.”

But for most working parents, it’s a lack of flexibility that makes being both a breadwinner and a caregiver so difficult. If you are Hillary Rodham Clinton, and your elderly mother is ill, you do what you have to do to go home to her, and then you get back to work. If you are an hourly wage worker with an unsympathetic employer who isn’t covered by the Family Medical Leave Act, you, too, do what you need to do to get home — and then you look for another job, at a high cost to you, your family, your shortsighted boss and the taxpayer programs that support you through the period of instability.

What comes “first?” It always depends. Every one, regardless of income or education or status, has to shuffle priorities constantly, and everyone is capable of that shuffling. A health emergency leaves us with no real choices, a work emergency can mean even a family event we never thought we would miss has to go on without us. Making those decisions shouldn’t be a privilege reserved for only the few.

Mr. Moravcsik was fortunate to have flexibility available to him, and to be able to use it, and he knows it. He is calling attention, he says, to “a privileged situation that shouldn’t exist.” All men need to have the opportunities he has had, and all “lead parents,” married and single, male and female, should have the flexibility they need to do what he has done and continues to do: raise a family and work to support them, both.

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Ask an Expert: How Can I Plan for a Successful Career and a Family?

• Danna Greenberg

Reminder: There is no “ideal time” to have kids.

In your early career, it can be tough to plan for the future — especially when it comes to deciding if and when to start a family. Here are five steps you can take now to create a strong foundation for building the life you want in the future. 

• Know there is no “ideal time” to start a family. Research shows that the majority of college-educated women are more likely to become first-time mothers in their 30s, not their 20s. 
• Take control of your reproductive health. For those assigned female at birth who are looking to conceive (as opposed to adopt) children, it’s important to have conversations about your reproductive health with your doctors early and often. 
• “Lean” into your career. Young professional women should plan now for how they will expand their skills and experience, and gain power so they can advocate for the work/life arrangement they want in the future.
• Explore different work/family paths. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the working parents in your professional and personal life to ask for their advice. 
• Establish a solid partnership at home. The home-management routines couples establish before children sets the stage for how they will manage caregiving in the future. 

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Dear Ascend,

• DG Danna Greenberg is the Walther H. Carpenter Professor of Management and Organizations at Babson College. Her latest book, Maternal Optimism: Forging Positive Paths through Work and Motherhood , explores the uniqueness of each working mother’s journey to integrate career and family.

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Career Or Family?

There is a popular saying “Whenever you are on a crossroad follow your heart”. You will come across various situations in your life where you need to make a choice. Believe me, it will not be easy. Choosing is the hardest thing and it is even more when you love both equally. After all, your choices will decide your future course. One such choice is the choice between Career and Family.

Introduction

We are often put into a situation where we have to choose between the career and family. We often face this dilemma and it is one of the hardest choices one will ever come across in their life.

If you choose your career, you have to let go of your family. If you choose your family, you have to let go of your career. In both ways, you are at the losing end. Hence, lucky are those who do not have to make a choice.

Everyone has their own opinion on this. Everyone thinks differently, acts differently and so does choose differently. You will come across several opinions and suggestions from several people on what to choose and what not to based on their experiences and thinking.

But the decision rests with you at the end. Ultimately, it’s you who have to choose and decide for yourself. Either you can go by what others say or you can do what your heart says. There are different opinions on it.

A career as a Choice

One option available with you is to choose your career and be ambitious. Chase your dreams and make your career. You have worked hard for it throughout your life. Don’t miss the opportunity to get settled and get a well-paid job.

Money is everything. I just remembered a song that goes well with this. “ Papa kehte hai bada Naam Karega, Beta humara Aisa Kaam Karega”. This is the time and your chance to do something big and great.

You can show your parents and show the world your achievements. Making a career is a one time opportunity, if not grabbed with both the hands, you might not be able to make it next time. Since not everyone is lucky enough to get a second chance.

Importance of Career

• It makes you financially stable. With a career, you have a source of income. Job security also ensures financial security and a means to livelihood.
• It gives direction to your life as you are working in one direction. Also, it keeps you focused and you move on a structured path
• It motivates you to achieve greater heights as you proceed in your career because everyone wants to get added incentive, promotion, salary hike so you put in extra efforts.

Family as a Choice

The second option available with you is to choose your family over your career. You are asked to sacrifice your dreams and passion for the love of your family. Some do it willingly and some out of restrictions.

The family is important as they love you and care for you as no one else could. No relation is bigger than the relation of blood, and money is not important than your relations and happiness. Money can buy you the luxuries of life. But it can never buy you happiness, joy, and comfort of living with a family.

Our parents have sacrificed so many entire lives. They have gone empty stomach to the bed just to feed us. Isn’t it unfair on our part that we leave them behind to live our dreams while all through their life they have only lived for us and our dreams? Give it a thought.

Can’t we give them happiness in their last journeys by staying with them and taking care of them? Believe me, it is more satisfying than your career would give you. No matter how well settled and high paying job you might be having, it can never replace your family.

Importance of Family

• Your family is your greatest support system. No matter what, whether you have somebody or not beside you, your family will always be there for you. You can always count on them. They make you feel secure and protect you from every harm and danger. Your family is the greatest blessing that you have.
• They love and understand you. Love from your parents is unconditional. They are the ones who always wished good for you. Your family understands you the way no one else does. They understand your habits, struggles, trials and everything about you
• They make you who you are. You carry the name and their teachings with you wherever you go. They make you who you are as an individual. They helped you make your life.

There is another point that I would like to mention. It is the hybrid of above the two points. In my opinion, why do we have to choose? Is it mandatory that we have to choose between them both and let the other one go? Can’t we have both? I have several examples where people have a successful career and a happy family too.

They didn’t make a choice, nor do they have to sacrifice anything. It’s all about managing and balancing the two aspects of your life. Both are important in one’s life. The career gives you financial stability whereas family gives you social stability.

These are two sides of the same coin. If you have a career, you will miss your family and if you have your loved ones you may regret your career. Then why not strive to have both in our lives.

Managing both is a responsibility and opportunity that one assumes for the sake of furthering in life.

So, strive to achieve both and lead a happy, family loving and career filled life! To get more insights into maintaining a good work life balance, read our blog –  How To Maintain Work Life Balance?

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Essay about Family: What It Is and How to Nail It

Humans naturally seek belonging within families, finding comfort in knowing someone always cares. Yet, families can also stir up insecurities and mental health struggles.

Family dynamics continue to intrigue researchers across different fields. Every year, new studies explore how these relationships shape our minds and emotions.

In this article, our dissertation service will guide you through writing a family essay. You can also dive into our list of topics for inspiration and explore some standout examples to spark your creativity.

What is Family Essay

A family essay takes a close look at the bonds and experiences within families. It's a common academic assignment, especially in subjects like sociology, psychology, and literature.

So, what's involved exactly? Simply put, it's an exploration of what family signifies to you. You might reflect on cherished family memories or contemplate the portrayal of families in various media.

What sets a family essay apart is its personal touch. It allows you to express your own thoughts and experiences. Moreover, it's versatile – you can analyze family dynamics, reminisce about family customs, or explore other facets of familial life.

If you're feeling uncertain about how to write an essay about family, don't worry; you can explore different perspectives and select topics that resonate with various aspects of family life.

Tips For Writing An Essay On Family Topics

A family essay typically follows a free-form style, unless specified otherwise, and adheres to the classic 5-paragraph structure. As you jot down your thoughts, aim to infuse your essay with inspiration and the essence of creative writing, unless your family essay topics lean towards complexity or science.

Here are some easy-to-follow tips from our essay service experts:

• Focus on a Specific Aspect: Instead of a broad overview, delve into a specific angle that piques your interest, such as exploring how birth order influences sibling dynamics or examining the evolving role of grandparents in modern families.
• Share Personal Anecdotes: Start your family essay introduction with a personal touch by sharing stories from your own experiences. Whether it's about a favorite tradition, a special trip, or a tough time, these stories make your writing more interesting.
• Use Real-life Examples: Illustrate your points with concrete examples or anecdotes. Draw from sources like movies, books, historical events, or personal interviews to bring your ideas to life.
• Explore Cultural Diversity: Consider the diverse array of family structures across different cultures. Compare traditional values, extended family systems, or the unique hurdles faced by multicultural families.
• Take a Stance: Engage with contentious topics such as homeschooling, reproductive technologies, or governmental policies impacting families. Ensure your arguments are supported by solid evidence.
• Delve into Psychology: Explore the psychological underpinnings of family dynamics, touching on concepts like attachment theory, childhood trauma, or patterns of dysfunction within families.
• Emphasize Positivity: Share uplifting stories of families overcoming adversity or discuss strategies for nurturing strong, supportive family bonds.
• Offer Practical Solutions: Wrap up your essay by proposing actionable solutions to common family challenges, such as fostering better communication, achieving work-life balance, or advocating for family-friendly policies.

Family Essay Topics

When it comes to writing, essay topics about family are often considered easier because we're intimately familiar with our own families. The more you understand about your family dynamics, traditions, and experiences, the clearer your ideas become.

If you're feeling uninspired or unsure of where to start, don't worry! Below, we have compiled a list of good family essay topics to help get your creative juices flowing. Whether you're assigned this type of essay or simply want to explore the topic, these suggestions from our history essay writer are tailored to spark your imagination and prompt meaningful reflection on different aspects of family life.

So, take a moment to peruse the list. Choose the essay topics about family that resonate most with you. Then, dive in and start exploring your family's stories, traditions, and connections through your writing.

• Supporting Family Through Tough Times
• Staying Connected with Relatives
• Empathy and Compassion in Family Life
• Strengthening Bonds Through Family Gatherings
• Quality Time with Family: How Vital Is It?
• Navigating Family Relationships Across Generations
• Learning Kindness and Generosity in a Large Family
• Communication in Healthy Family Dynamics
• Forgiveness in Family Conflict Resolution
• Building Trust Among Extended Family
• Defining Family in Today's World
• Understanding Nuclear Family: Various Views and Cultural Differences
• Understanding Family Dynamics: Relationships Within the Family Unit
• What Defines a Family Member?
• Modernizing the Nuclear Family Concept
• Exploring Shared Beliefs Among Family Members
• Evolution of the Concept of Family Love Over Time
• Examining Family Expectations
• Modern Standards and the Idea of an Ideal Family
• Life Experiences and Perceptions of Family Life
• Genetics and Extended Family Connections
• Utilizing Family Trees for Ancestral Links
• The Role of Younger Siblings in Family Dynamics
• Tracing Family History Through Oral Tradition and Genealogy
• Tracing Family Values Through Your Family Tree
• Exploring Your Elder Sister's Legacy in the Family Tree
• Connecting Daily Habits to Family History
• Documenting and Preserving Your Family's Legacy
• Navigating Online Records and DNA Testing for Family History
• Tradition as a Tool for Family Resilience
• Involving Family in Daily Life to Maintain Traditions
• Creating New Traditions for a Small Family
• The Role of Traditions in Family Happiness
• Family Recipes and Bonding at House Parties
• Quality Time: The Secret Tradition for Family Happiness
• The Joy of Cousins Visiting for Christmas
• Including Family in Birthday Celebrations
• Balancing Traditions and Unconditional Love
• Building Family Bonds Through Traditions

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Reach out to our skilled writers, and they'll provide you with a top-notch paper that's sure to earn an A+ grade in record time!

Family Essay Example

For a better grasp of the essay on family, our team of skilled writers has crafted a great example. It looks into the subject matter, allowing you to explore and understand the intricacies involved in creating compelling family essays. So, check out our meticulously crafted sample to discover how to craft essays that are not only well-written but also thought-provoking and impactful.

Final Outlook

In wrapping up, let's remember: a family essay gives students a chance to showcase their academic skills and creativity by sharing personal stories. However, it's important to stick to academic standards when writing about these topics. We hope our list of topics sparked your creativity and got you on your way to a reflective journey. And if you hit a rough patch, you can just ask us to ' do my essay for me ' for top-notch results!

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FAQs on Writing an Essay about Family

Family essays seem like something school children could be assigned at elementary schools, but family is no less important than climate change for our society today, and therefore it is one of the most central research themes.

Below you will find a list of frequently asked questions on family-related topics. Before you conduct research, scroll through them and find out how to write an essay about your family.

How to Write an Essay About Your Family History?

How to write an essay about a family member, how to write an essay about family and roots, how to write an essay about the importance of family.

Daniel Parker

is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.

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IELTS essay, topic: The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school (agree/disagree)

• IELTS Essays - Band 8

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Kazakhstan .

The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The significance of parents and family versus school education in shaping a person’s future success has long been debated. While some argue that parental guidance and familial support are paramount, others contend that knowledge and skills acquired in school play a pivotal role. Personally, I believe that the role of parents and family, although crucial, should not overshadow the importance of formal education in determining future success.

To begin, parents and family undoubtedly have a profound impact on a person’s development. From an early age, children absorb values, attitudes, and behaviours from their family environment. Parents provide emotional support, nurture talents, and instil vital life skills such as resilience, discipline, and work ethic. The role of parents in nurturing confidence, fostering interpersonal skills, and encouraging personal growth cannot be understated.

However, the argument that parents and family solely determine a person’s success is flawed. School education equips individuals with essential knowledge, critical thinking abilities, and academic qualifications that form the foundation for future opportunities. Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development. Furthermore, formal education fosters independence, adaptability, and the ability to navigate challenges beyond the familial context.

In conclusion, while the role of parents and family in shaping a person’s success is undeniably important, it is equally crucial to acknowledge the vital role of formal education in preparing individuals for the challenges and opportunities they will encounter in their lives. Parents and family provide a nurturing environment, values, and life skills, while schools offer a comprehensive education, knowledge acquisition, and social growth. Therefore, a balanced approach that appreciates the significance of both aspects is the key to fostering holistic development and maximising future success.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, this essay is worthy of IELTS Band 8. Here are the reasons why:

Task Response: Band 8 The essay presents a nuanced argument that recognises the importance of both parental guidance and formal education. The writer clearly states their position, arguing that while the role of parents and family is crucial, it should not overshadow the importance of education. This is substantiated by discussing the unique contributions of both influences on personal development and future success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8 The essay is well-organised, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, with the first discussing the role of parents and the second the importance of school education. The use of transition phrases like “To begin,” “However,” and “In conclusion” effectively guides the reader through the essay, enhancing its coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 8 The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, with terms such as “paramount,” “pivotal role,” “nurture talents,” “instil vital life skills,” and “comprehensive education.” This varied and precise vocabulary helps to convey complex ideas clearly and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8 The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately. Complex grammatical structures are used without error, as in “Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development,” demonstrating the writer’s grammatical proficiency.

Submit your essay for correction and find out how to improve your Writing score.

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Success Versus Happiness: What Is More Important?

According to psychologist Daniel Gilbert, who is a psychology professor at Harvard, happiness is the ultimate goal of virtually all the decisions we make in life (Gilbert, 2010).

Gilbert suggests that the measure of a good decision depends on whether that decision brings us pleasure, a sense of wellbeing, happiness or contentment.

Researchers have focused a lot more on happiness in the past few years and science has finally started to pay attention to what it really means to be happy.

According to research done by Sonja Lyubomirsky (2008) in the book The Happiness Diet , some portion of our happiness may actually be within our power to control.

Lyubomirsky has been studying happiness for nearly two decades, and her research is leading the way in scientific study for interventions that can help increase human happiness.

[Reviewer’s update:

Since this post was originally published, there have been several critiques of Lyubomirsky’s (2008) pie chart breakdown of the source and set points of our happiness. While Sheldon and Lyubomirsky (2021) have acknowledged that the original breakdown estimates were off, the core idea remains true: We can affect our own happiness, to some degree.]

But which comes first: Happiness or success?

The real truth is that happiness is often subjective and difficult to measure. Success is often judged externally or by comparison to other people.

Happiness is usually an attribute of an individual whereas success can be attributed to an individual or to a group.

Happiness is a goal that many people aspire to. Most people also have a strong desire to be successful in life and they tend to believe that through this success they will automatically become happier.

While we may never know with 100% certainty which one is more important, we do know that success and happiness are inextricably linked.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Happiness & Subjective Wellbeing Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify sources of authentic happiness and strategies to boost wellbeing.

This Article Contains:

The relationship between happiness and success, the difference between the two, which one is more important, does success bring happiness and fulfillment, 9 science-backed ways to become happier, building happiness worksheet, 4 simple activities that can promote happiness at work, recommended books, 10 quotes on happiness and success, a take-home message.

According to Lyubomirsky, King, and Diener (2005) numerous studies have shown that happy people tend to be successful across multiple domains in life, including work performance, health, income, friendship, and even marriage.

The authors have devised a conceptual model that accounts for these findings. They argue that the happiness-success link exists not only because success makes people happy, but also from the positive affect engendering success.

The study examined three classes of evidence, including:

• Cross-sectional
• Longitudinal
• Experimental

The results of the findings revealed that happiness is associated with and precedes numerous successful outcomes. Moreover, it was also discovered that certain behaviors tended to parallel that success.

The evidence suggests that the idea of positive affect , the hallmark of wellbeing, may actually be the cause of many of the desirable characteristics, resources, and successes correlated with such happiness.

The real question then becomes, what comes first, happiness or success? This is akin to the chicken and egg scenario as well.

If happiness comes first, then you must surmise that you have to figure out how to be happy before your success will come rolling in.

On the other side of the coin is the idea of success coming first, before happiness.

What does it take to really be happy? Do you have to be successful in order to be happy? There are most likely millions of people in the world who would disagree with you on that point because success does not guarantee happiness.

There are just as many people out there who deem themselves happy, while not necessarily successful, as there are successful people still trying to figure out how to be happy.

How do these two constructs tie together? That is the issue we will discuss.

According to the fight or flight theory, humans were not wired for happiness, they were wired for survival.

Many of us find ourselves rushing through life, chasing happiness. The problem is that we never quite get there.

For many of us, happiness is something we aspire to. Happiness is somewhere we get to someday. What we fail to recognize is that happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.

We know happiness is not a static state, because even the happiest people feel blue sometimes.

Norrish and Vella-Brodrick (2008) studied whether happiness is even a worthwhile pursuit. Happiness, the pursuit of it, and what it means to live a good life has been long debated.

People are increasingly looking for new ways to become happier.

This is indicated by the growing demand for self-help books and literature.

Only recently have social scientists begun to really study happiness. According to Norrish and Vella-Brodrick (2008), psychology has traditionally been a healing profession that has been mainly focused on pathology, dysfunction and mental illness.

Some social scientists have even gone as far as suggesting that investigating human emotions is a luxurious or even indulgent goal in comparison to the importance and the need to understand human suffering.

Some scholars in the field go as far as saying that psychology’s more traditional negative perspective ignores the more positive aspects of human functioning.

Thankfully this is rapidly changing with the advent of the positive psychology movement.

Everyone defines it differently. Some people may find happiness in simple small things like a day in the park or a happy moment. Other people may find happiness more of an elusive quality.

Research in positive psychology defines a happy person as someone who experiences frequent positive emotions , such as interest, joy and pride, and infrequent negative emotions such as sadness or anxiety (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005).

Happiness is also related to life satisfaction, appreciation of life and moments of pleasure.

Overall, happiness has to do with the positive experience of emotions.

According to Norby (2013), positive psychology helps provide methods that help us rethink the way we work. Not only does it provide us with tools that help inoculate us against stress , but it also shows us how we can achieve a state of happiness that is a more effective way to work or accomplish a task.

Norby compares our mind and brain to actors on a stage. The actors on the stage in your brain affect what you are thinking about and how to get to a possibility.

Shawn Achor , the author of “ Happiness Advantage ” undertook an experiment where he delivered three hours of positive psychology training to a group of people.

After the experiment, Achor returned to gauge the success of the training. The testing showed that in a very short period of time, the group measured significantly higher life satisfaction scores and lower stress scores than those who did not receive the training.

Achor’s (2016) seven principles of happiness – each introduced as a chapter in his book – include the following.

Seven principles of happiness

• The happiness advantage: How happiness gives your brain and organization the competitive edge
• The fulcrum and the lever: Changing your performance by changing your mindset
• The Tetris effect: Training your brain to capitalize on possibility
• Falling up: Capitalizing on the downs to build upward momentum
• The “Zorro” circle: How limiting your focus to small, manageable goals can expand your sphere of power
• The 20-second rule: How to turn bad habits into good ones by minimizing barriers to change
• Social investment: Why social support is your single greatest asset, or not to retreat into yourself

For additional information about what constitutes “happiness,” I would recommend Corey Keyes and Martin Seligman’s work on flourishing and the PERMA model (e.g., Keyes, 2002; Keyes & Haidt, 2003; Seligman, 2011; Seligman, 2018). For a nice summary, check out our article on Seligman’s PERMA+ model explained .]

What is success?

Defining success can also be challenging. The dictionary defines success as:

“The fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.”

However, this definition falls short in many ways. Success is much more than mere financial success because you must also feel successful in other areas of life such as love and relationships, health, and more.

In the end, success is much more than just wealth and power.

• Barbara Bush defined success as how you treat others, from family to strangers.
• Albert Schweitzer defined success as loving what you do.
• Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh says success is all about living in accordance with your values.
• Author Maya Angelou believed success is about enjoying your work.
• Billionaire Richard Branson believes success is about engagement.

Thomas Edison recognized that success is a grind in his quote:

“Success is 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration.”

The best definition of success may just be author Stephen Covey’s definition when he stated that success is deeply individual.

“If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.”

Download 3 Free Happiness Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to discover authentic happiness and cultivate subjective well-being.

Download 3 Free Happiness Tools Pack (PDF)

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When it comes right down to it, success and monetary wealth don’t necessarily equate to happiness and security.

It doesn’t do you much good in terms of your level of happiness if you are successful monetarily, but miserable in your personal life.

On the other hand, you may be incredibly happy with your personal life or other relationships, but still struggling with success or struggling financially.

Both of these indicators are interconnected in a sense. Happiness affects your level of success and your level of success affects your happiness.

The happiness set point

Norrish and Vella-Brodrick (2008) talk about the happiness set point, also called the dynamic equilibrium theory.

This idea surmises that despite changes in your individual circumstances, your level of happiness remains remarkably constant over time.

This happiness set point is believed to be caused by our tendency as humans to rapidly adapt to changes in our environment.

This process of constant adaptation is commonly referred to as the hedonic treadmill or homeostatic control.

In support of this theory, researchers found that happiness levels of lottery winners, although initially high, soon returned to their normal range of happiness.

The same thing was found with paralysis victims, who were initially high on negative affect.

If each of us has a happiness set point that concept challenges the viability of undertaking research or doing interventions designed to increase individual happiness.

Despite the assertion that attempting to increase happiness is challenging, recent research has resulted in some important new developments regarding the happiness set point.

Diener (2006) provided a revision of the original hedonic treadmill theory. This information was based on an evaluation of data from the Victoria Quality of Life Panel Study and the 1990 World Value Survey.

Diener’s 5 revisions to the original hedonic treadmill theory:

• Happiness set points are thought to be above neutral, with most people being relatively happy a significant portion of the time.
• Happiness set points may differ from individual to individual.
• Life satisfaction, positive affect, and negative affect may each have their own unique set points. Each of these may also exhibit different rates of hedonic adaptation.
• Certain life events such as the death of a spouse or the onset of a disability can result in significant changes to one’s happiness levels.
• The rates to which someone adapts to changes in circumstances may differ from individual to individual. (Those with positive coping strategies may return to baseline levels of happiness more rapidly than those who do not.)

Looking at these revisions we can surmise that happiness may actually be quite amenable to intervention.

Richard St. John, a marketer and success analyst talks about the idea that success is not a one-way street but a constant journey.

In his TED Talk , St. John talks about his personal journey of success.

St. John talks about the concept of reaching success and the fact that the work does not stop once you reach this point.

In order to continue being successful, you have to constantly create new ideas and new passions. You have to remember why you started doing what you are doing in the first place.

If you reach the pinnacle of your success and stop – you will not be able to keep the success going.

Each of us is taught at a young age that achieving certain milestones of success in life is important.

We work to do well in school, work to get into college, work to have a prestigious career, and then work on living in the right house or marrying the right person.

This happiness and success quest continues throughout our lives.

There is a misconception that each of these things will make us happy. The truth may very well be that none of these things really have anything to do with our level of happiness.

What really happens is we reach our individual goals and feel happy for a while. Eventually, we discover we need to set new goals to achieve an even higher level of success to get the same buzz.

All of this begs the question: Does success bring happiness and fulfillment?

Our happiness may have its own set point. When we achieve success, we feel happy, but this happiness doesn’t often last. Once the condition is met, we start looking for that next goal to pursue.

What we might eventually discover is the idea that happiness is not only about setting goals and achieving them, but in finding that sense of happiness and joy within ourselves and in our daily life.

Knowing this, it’s also important to examine some things you can do to feel happy at the moment.

It’s important to note that while accomplishment is indeed a necessary component of happiness, it’s just one piece of the puzzle, along with positive emotions, engagement, positive relationships, and meaning (Seligman, 2011).]

• Express gratitude.
• Practice something challenging.
• Connect with someone.
• Stop procrastinating.
• Be intellectually curious.
• Be open to new experiences.
• Express physical affection.
• Have compassion.
• Strengthen your relationships.

Expressing gratitude and feeling grateful can go a long way to happiness and joy. You can be thankfu l for many things such as your health, your children, your home, or even the fact that you have food to eat.

Thinking about the good things in life and stopping to smell the roses along the way can help you feel happier in the moment.

Keeping your brain active by practicing something challenging is another good tip.

Learning a new language, or playing an instrument or even learning yoga , can help you activate your natural endorphins or feel-good chemicals in the brain. Try doing something you can improve upon to challenge yourself.

Making powerful connections and connecting with other people is integral to your level of happiness and fulfillment in life.

It doesn’t matter if you connect over the phone, or in person, just the act of connecting can help you feel better.

Those who don’t continually put things off until tomorrow may also be happier. Getting things done helps you feel proactive and prideful. When you get things done, you feel a sense of accomplishment, which can help you feel happier.

Never stop learning or being curious! Reading a new book , watching a documentary or having meaningful conversations can help you feel better too.

Being open to new experiences can also help you boost your level of happiness. It doesn’t matter if you are trying a new food or trying out something like scuba diving. Trying new things can be fun and encouraging.

Expressing physical affection is also important. According to Virginia Satir, a respected American therapist, each of us needs four hugs a day just for survival! Eight hugs a day are suggested for maintenance and twelve hugs a day are suggested for growth.

Hugs create a sort of trickle-down effect and release of oxytocin, which can reduce stress and elevate your mood.

Developing compassion is also important. Those who are interested in other’s lives and other’s stories are usually happier than those solely concerned with themselves. Try doing little random acts of kindness for strangers or those you love, and notice how that makes you feel.

Strengthening your relationships is also important for your happiness. In one 80-year long study of 268 Harvard undergraduate males, researchers looked at every aspect of life from lifestyle to political views.

Scientists began tracking Harvard sophomores in 1938 during the great depression. They hoped that the longitudinal study would reveal clues to leading a happy and healthy life.

What they discovered was that relationships and how happy we are in these relationships have a very powerful influence on our health.

Close relationships mean even more than money or fame, and relationships are what keep people happy throughout their lives.

These important ties to other people help protect us from life’s discontent. They also protect us from mental and physical decline.

What this tells us is that relationships are integrally important for both our happiness and wellbeing.

Making it a habit to nurture your closest relationships and letting go of those that cause you pain or those that feel toxic can go a long way to helping you live a better life (Cherian, 2018).

Success and happiness | Motivated – The Official Steve Harvey

There are many ways to build happiness. The Building Happiness Worksheet includes a list of activities that have been found to help build a sustained level of happiness when practiced on a regular basis (Therapist Aid, 2012).

These may seem like simple things, but they can make a big difference when it comes to your level of happiness.

Getting a promotion, a new relationship or winning the lottery will only provide a temporary boost when it comes to happiness. Each of has a baseline or a set point we continually return to when it comes to happiness.

Maintaining a sustained level of happiness takes a little effort. Trying these exercises on a regular basis is a wonderful way to build lasting happiness and joy.

• Acts of Kindness
• Positive journaling
• Fostering relationships

Gratitude is a wonderful practice to engage in. Try writing down three things for which you are grateful for every day. These can be simple mundane things or big things.

The point is to get something down on paper, every day. Writing down statements of gratitude, even on your worst days, can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life.

Acts of Kindness are another thing you can do. Making a conscious effort to do something nice for someone for no reason at all can help you feel good. You might be shocked at how a simple act of kindness can turn your whole day around.

Exercise has many positive effects as well. Being physically active can help you increase your energy, boost your immune system, and give you a sense of accomplishment. Exercise can also reduce insomnia, stimulate brain growth, and act as an anti-depressant. Try taking a walk or a bike ride the next time you feel you need a boost.

Meditation has been linked with reduced anxiety and more positive emotions. Those who meditate on a regular basis may even permanently restructure their brain to create a sustained level of happiness.

Taking the time to engage in positive journaling is another happiness booster. Writing about the happy events in your life, or writing about a good day with friends can help you get into the habit of focusing on the positive.

Strong social connections and fostering relationships can also help you feel happier. It turns out that strong social connections are thought to be a powerful influence on our mood.

Those who dedicate time to spend with family or friends tend to show the highest levels of happiness. If you can’t spend time with someone in person, pick up the phone or send an email. Nothing is more powerful than spending time with those you care about.

• Connect with your peers.
• Get into the habit of thanking people.
• Walking meetings.
• Get into the habit of putting yourself first.

Connecting with your peers and taking steps to get to know them better can go a long way toward building happiness.

Moss suggests using your coffee break time to socialize at least once a week. She also suggests finding opportunities to drop by someone’s desk you are not familiar with to say hello.

A quick connection might also lead to more opportunities for collaboration.

It’s also important to get into the habit of saying thanks. You can do this by sending out a quick email of thanks before you leave for the day or texting someone about a job well done. A little praise goes a long way.

Taking a walking meeting is also a great option. We often feel tied to our desks, so walking and talking is a great option to get the juices flowing.

The more we get up from our desk and stretch and move, the more productive we are.

Finally, Moss suggests getting into the habit of you. What this really means is learning to put yourself first. Taking 20 minutes to read something that provides nothing but joy, taking 5 additional minutes to have a cup of coffee or enjoying a 15-minute nap can help you feel better.

Starting with small bits of time can give your brain the rest it needs to be more productive for the rest of the day.

Emotional control and good leadership, according to Moss, comes with a well-rested and productive brain. Moss (2016).

Happiness can even help us navigate change more effectively, according to Moss.

Emma Seppala, Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and author of the book “ The Happiness Track ” describes change like this:

“We can’t control our external circumstances, and things change constantly whether at work or in our personal lives. The only thing we can have a say over is our state of mind.”

Seppala also talks about the importance of building resilience and the ability to generate more inner peace, to stay calm in the face of chaos and to remain emotionally intelligent as we communicate with others.

We must cultivate this even in the midst of conflict or hurt feelings. All of this helps us make good decisions even when we’re feeling upset.

Seppala suggests building internal resilience by:

• Meditating.
• Doing breathing exercises.
• Engaging in an activity that helps train the nervous system to be calmer.

Doing so helps us calm that overwhelming feeling and navigate the ebbs and flows of life.

From a great selection of books on happiness and success, the following are highly recommended:

Unlocking Happiness at Work – Jennifer Moss and Shawn Achor

The book demonstrates how happiness can have a real impact on the bottom line. Unlocking happiness at work can:

• Fuel higher performance.
• Provide a greater sense of purpose.
• Spread passion throughout organizations.

Moss talks about how to be happier and make others happier through the power of habits, emotional intelligence and an innovative approach to work/life flow.

The book contains valuable case studies from companies like The Body Shop, Misfit Inc., Zappos, and Lululemon.

According to Moss, we are looking at happiness all wrong. In Moss’s opinion, happiness is a choice we must consciously make every day. Moss infers that society has fallen victim to false branding when it comes to happiness.

Moss suggests that happiness:

• Is intangible.
• Cannot be attained or achieved.
• Not something you chase.
• Happiness is sequential.

The more we pursue happiness, the harder it is to obtain. Happiness, in Moss’s opinion, comes after you work on building up traits like resilience , efficacy , optimism , hope , gratitude, and empathy .

So much of our time is consumed with work, that it behooves us to look at ways we can pursue happiness where we spend the bulk of our time.

Find the book on Amazon .

• The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg

By building positive habits we can turn the emotional state and bundle the fast-firing neurons in our brain to make happiness a permanent trait.

Drawing from the science of neuroplasticity, habits are built by modifying and repeating behaviors until we can move our conscious actions into the subconscious mind.

The book encourages us to focus on building new habits, one at a time. Although this may take a little time, according to Moss, once happiness is achieved the positive impacts are felt almost immediately.

To experience the book yourself, you can purchase it from Amazon .

Books about success

Books about success include old classics as well as new ones:

• How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
• The Magic of Thinking BIG – David J. Schwartz, PH.D.
• Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
• When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing – Daniel H. Pink

Carnegie shows us how to go after the job we want, and get it, how to take the job we have and improve it and how to take any situation and make it work better for us.

His words can help you achieve success in both your business and personal life. The book also includes:

• Six ways to make people like you.
• Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking.
• Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment.

The book can help you achieve your maximum potential.

The 7 Habits book describes each habit step-by-step:

• Habit 1: Be Proactive.
• Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind.
• Habit 3: Put First Things First.
• Habit 4: Think Win-Win.
• Habit 5: Seek First To Understand Then Be Understood.
• Habit 6: Synergize.
• Habit 7: Sharpen The Saw.

Dr. Covey’s 7 Habits book is both inspiring and impactful.

The book contains strategies that can help you:

• Believe in your own success.
• Cure yourself of the fear of failure.
• Think and dream creatively.
• Believe that you are what you think you are.
• Make your attitudes your allies.
• Learn how to think positively.
• Turn defeat into victory.
• Use goals to help you grow.
• Think like a leader.

In the end, magnifying your thinking strategy can be a great recipe for success.

Hill’s study of these “best practices” was revolutionary for the time it was published in 1937.

In the book, Hill talks about a 13-step program that will set you on the path to wealth and success.

• Auto-suggestion
• Specialized knowledge
• Imagination
• Organized planning
• Persistence
• Power of the mastermind
• The subconscious mind
• The sixth sense
• How to outwit the six ghosts of fear

“All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination. Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth.”

Napoleon Hill

Called the greatest motivational book of all time, the book outlines the path to success for hundreds of America’s most affluent people.

According to Pink, the time of day can have a big impact when it comes to the decision-making process.

Timing can also come into play in how well we learn and our ability to be effective and productive.

Pink’s research is drawn from psychology, biology, and economics. Pink offers helpful strategies in how we can best time our lives to succeed. The book also offers strategies for self-improvement and helps us understand how we can we use hidden patterns of our day to build the ideal schedule.

Books about happiness are also wide-ranging:

• The How of Happiness – Sonja Lyubomirsky
• Flourish – Martin Seligman
• Thinking Fast and Slow – Daniel Kahneman
• The Happiness Advantage – Shawn Achor

According to Lyubomirsky, happiness is the Holy Grail of science. In her research, she not only presents the scientific literature but also has a self-help component where she gives advice and recommendations on what to do based on research results.

Some of the research-based exercises in the book include things like practicing optimism when imagining the future, instructions in how best to savor life’s pleasures in the here and now and a thorough explanation of the importance of staying active to be happy.

The book outlines the four components of wellbeing:

• Positive emotions.
• Engagement with what one is doing.
• A sense of accomplishment.
• Good relationships.

The book is filled with research and stories that help illustrate each component. It is a rich resource for living a life that makes you happier.

Kahneman describes system 1 as fast, intuitive and emotional and system 2 as slower, more deliberate and more logical.

The book talks about the overconfidence on corporate strategies, the difficulties of predicting what might make us happy in the future and the profound effect of cognitive bias.

The book also reveals how we can tap into the benefits of both parts of our mind to facilitate change.

Published in 2010, the book helps you think differently in terms of what happiness and success are truly about.

According to the book, chasing after success, in the hopes that it will make you happy is not a plan that works for most people.

The book focuses on strategies that help create happiness in the moment while capitalizing on its many benefits when it comes to becoming more successful.

Many of us think that when we hit that next sales target or lose that five pounds that we will then be happy. We have learned to put success first and happiness second.

Achor believes that formula is broken. He promotes happiness first, success second. In Achor’s opinion, happiness leads to success much more than success leads to happiness.

According to the author, we become more successful when we are happier and more positive.

To recap, the book covers ten main points:

• Why we have the formula for success backward.
• How happiness promotes productivity.
• How happiness can improve our physical health.
• How we are primed for high performance.
• How happiness can undo the negative aftereffects of stress.
• How we can become happier and believe change is possible.
• Using meditation as a permanent happiness boost.
• The benefits of physical exercise.
• Turning away from the news.
• Realizing money can buy happiness if it’s spent on experiences versus things.

According to Achor, more than a decade of groundbreaking research in the field of positive psychology and neuroscience has proven that the relationship between happiness and success works the opposite of what we think, which is very refreshing thought.

17 Exercises To Increase Happiness and Wellbeing

Add these 17 Happiness & Subjective Well-Being Exercises [PDF] to your toolkit and help others experience greater purpose, meaning, and positive emotions.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Thomas A. Edison

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Today is life–the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.

Dale Carnegie

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.

Tony Robbins

Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel toward what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.

William D. Hoard

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.

Albert Einstein

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Albert Schweitzer

Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Helen Keller

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.

Ingrid Bergman

When it comes right down to it, both happiness and success are interconnected in a sense. Happiness affects your level of success and your level of success affects your happiness.

Happiness is really a choice you can choose to make.

Many of us are so wrapped up in trying to get ahead that we forget that we can choose to be happy in the moment.

You can steal time out of your day to simply take a walk and enjoy nature. You can hug a friend or sit with a cup of tea.

You can take stock of your life and realize that you are very lucky to be exactly who you are.

Things don’t always make us happy nor does money or possessions or that perfect job. Relationships don’t necessarily make us feel happy if we are not already feeling that happiness within.

When it comes to the relationship between happiness and success, we can surmise that success is something we pursue while happiness is something we acquire.

According to Boehm and Lyubomirsky (2008) past research has demonstrated a relationship between happiness and workplace success.

For example:

• Happy people earn more money when compared to their less happy peers.
• Happy people also tend to display superior performance and perform more helpful acts.

Past research has often assumed that an employee is happy and satisfied because he or she is successful.

In the author’s review of the evidence, an alternative hypothesis may actually be more accurate, that happiness is a source of why particular employees are more successful than others (Boehm & Lyubomirsky, 2008).

The authors conclude that the evidence suggests that happiness is not correlated with workplace success, but that happiness often precedes measures of success and that the induction of positive affect leads to improved work outcomes.

In the end, we can’t always control our external circumstances because life is ever-changing.

The only thing we can have a say over is our state of mind. Whether or not you believe that happiness attracts success or not, choosing happiness is something you can do every day.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Happiness Exercises for free .

• Achor, S. (2016). The happiness advantage. Retrieved from http://goodthinkinc.com/resources/books/the-happiness-advantage/
• Boehm, J. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Does happiness promote career success? Journal of Career Assessment, 16 (1), 101-116.
• Cherian, D. (2018, March 18). International Happiness Day: Science-backed ways to be happy. Gulf News. Retrieved from https://gulfnews.com/lifestyle/international-happiness-day-science-backed-ways-to-be-happy-1.2190116
• Diener, E. (2006). Guidelines for national indicators of subjective well-being and ill-being.  Journal of Happiness Studies ,  7 (4), 397-404.
• Gilbert, D. (2010, May). Stumbling on happiness. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2010/05/happiness.aspx
• Keyes, C. L. M. (2002). The mental health continuum: From languishing to flourishing in life.  Journal of Health and Social Research , 43(2), 207–222.
• Keyes, C. L. M., & Haidt, J. (Eds.). (2003).  Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived.  American Psychological Association.
• Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin ,  131 (6), 803.-855.
• Lyubomirsky, S. (2008, April). The happiness diet. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2008/04/overthinking.aspx
• Moss, J. (2016). Unlocking happiness at work : How a data-driven happiness strategy fuels purpose, passion and performance. London, UK: Kogan Page.
• Norby M. (2013). Brain-based behavior: Our choices determine our happiness and success at work. Contract Management , 53 (8).
• Norrish, J. M., & Vella-Brodrick, D. A. (2008). Is the study of happiness a worthy scientific pursuit? Social Indicators Research ,  87 (3), 393-407.
• Seligman, M. E. P. (2011).  Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being.  Free Press.
• Seligman, M. E. P. (2018). PERMA and the building blocks of well-being.  The Journal of Positive Psychology ,  13 (4), 333–335.
• Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2021). Revisiting the Sustainable Happiness Model and pie chart: can happiness be successfully pursued?  The Journal of Positive Psychology, 16 (2), 145–154.
• Therapist Aid. (2012). Building happiness (exercises). Retrieved from https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/building-happiness-exercises

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What our readers think.

Ok. The article was ok, I just feel as though it didn’t really answer as many questions as I would think, and some of the sentences were unfinished I didn’t really like it

“Success is not Happiness, Happiness is Success” Happiness is not a destination, it is the journey itself You can’t have Happiness, it is not something to possess You can’t go to Happiness, it is not a place You can’t be with Happiness, it is not a person You can’t buy Happiness, it is not a product You can’t achieve Happiness, it is not a transaction You can only be Happy, it is a state of being.

OMG!!! I so much love this, its so educating

Wow, I love the article. I was actually looking for counter claim if people with more meamingful lives agreed that relationships are more important than achievments. And I have found this helpful…. Thank you. MAY HE GOOD LORD BLESS YOU.

It’s really helpful…thanks

It`s a Bible of success! Great!

Very useful & informative , explains happiness & success in many different ways. The references are treasure of knowledge , thank you for sharing.

Al grano. No da espacio mas que a la acción. Que personalidad o manera de escribir tan clara! Se ve tan sencillo. Escribe y dices las cosas donde el tiempo de pensarlo es hacerlo o accionar. no hay otro tiempo mas que hoy. Gracias infinitas.

Fantastic explanation n mind-blowing examples. Extremely intresting, educative & comprehensive .

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Career Goals Essay For Scholarships (With Examples)

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Scholarship programs often want you to write a career goals essay to see that you have a clear plan for how you’ll apply your education to a specific career path. This helps show a scholarship committee why you’re seeking funds for the next step on the path toward your success.

Answering “what are your career goals” effectively can help increase your odds of impressing landing a scholarship opportunity. If you’re a prospective student applying for scholarships, this article will provide tips on how to write a career goals essay, along with essays on career goals examples to help you get an idea of what scholarship committees are looking for.

Key Takeaways:

When you’re writing a career goals essay, make sure to write about the goals that are relevant to the scholarship.

Be honest and use your own voice to stand out in your scholarship essay.

Go into detail about how the scholarship will help you achieve your goals.

What is a career goals essay?

Why scholarship essays ask about career goals, example career goals essay prompts, career goals essay examples, tips for writing a scholarship essay about career goals, what to write in a career goals essay if your goals have changed, career goals essay for a scholarship faq.

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A career goals essay is a personal written explanation that discusses your background, why you’re interested in participating in the program, and what career you’d like this degree to lead into. A scholarship essay functions to explain why you want to achieve your professional goals and how you intend to get there.

In almost every application process, a portion asks the candidate to answer an essay question. When applying to an educational program, like an MBA, the essay prompt usually relates to your career goals .

Scholarship essays ask about career goals to assess your enthusiasm for the program, learn more about how the scholarship will help you, and ensure that you’ve considered how the program will help you achieve your goals for the future:

Assess your enthusiasm. Passion is important for scholarship administrators, and if you’re able to articulate your enthusiasm for a specific career path , it will show that you’re determined to meet the requirements to reach that goal. The most specific and well-thought-out your essay is, the easier it will be for a reader to understand your devotion and commitment to the program and the field it will allow you to enter.

Learn how the scholarship will help you. Having a firm grasp of your career goals is great, but it’s equally important that you express exactly how the specific program relates to those goals. This shows that you’ve researched the merits of the program and understand exactly how it fits into your professional goals.

Show you’ve considered your future. This goes along with the first two points — show that you know how to set goals and consider the path toward achieving those goals, and you’ll have an easier time convincing the reader that you’ll know how to set goals while participating in the program. They’ll see that you know how to prioritize education because you have a clear vision for navigating your career path.

While some scholarships might come right out and simply ask, “What are your career goals?” most will rework the question into something different that still accomplishes the same goal.

Below are some examples of career goals essay prompts that a scholarship program could pose to its applicants:

Discuss your career goals. Many scholarships prefer the most direct approach when giving an essay prompt to their applicants. This type of question gives the candidate a lot of wiggle room to discuss their passions, motivations, and career goals.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years ? This question is often used as a prompt for a career goals essay because it gives the applicant a timeline to describe their aspirations. It forces them to be realistic about where their career will be and how they will accomplish this within the next ten years.

How will this scholarship contribute to your professional success? A scholarship committee wants to be sure that the money they’re giving will contribute to a student’s overall professional success. This question asks about the applicant’s game plan in the long-term and evaluates how this program is going to assist in their future.

What is your dream job ? Since a dream job is often categorized as a person’s career goals, this is a common question phrasing in scholarship essays. Asking about a candidate’s dream job answers whether this program aligns with the student’s long-term career goals.

What matters most to you and why? Sometimes, a scholarship essay prompt won’t ask about your career or future at all. Instead, they’ll ask a question like this that assesses your motivations , values, and character.

Use these examples of career goals essays for scholarships to help write your own. Pay special attention to how they’re organized, rather than the content, to inspire your own career goals essay:

Career goals essay example 1 – Discuss your career goals

When I was six years old, I was riding bikes with my older sister around our neighborhood. She had just taught me how to ride, and I was excited to have to freedom to explore with her. When she was rounding a particularly difficult bend to see around, a car happened to be coming along at the same time. It struck her. That bike ride changed our lives forever. Over the next year, I went with my sister every Tuesday and Thursday to her physical therapist ’s appointments to help her regain walking strength. Watching her physical therapist patiently assist my sister back to becoming herself awoken something in me. A passion for helping others in the same way eventually turned into a career goal of becoming a physical therapist myself. I decided to get my bachelor’s degree in exercise science. After graduating in 2019, I knew that the next step for me was to attend a graduate program in physical therapy. I was accepted to Lassell University Master of Science in Rehabilitation Services. This presented me with my latest goal along my career path, and I’m eagerly waiting to start. This scholarship would help me afford the wonderful opportunity to be a part of the Lassell University class of 2023, allowing me to continue working towards my ultimate career goal of becoming a physical therapist and helping others to become themselves again.

Career goals essay example 2 – Where do you see yourself in ten years?

In ten years, I will have been successfully running my own construction business for about five years. I’m currently a second-year student at the University of Texas, pursuing a master’s degree in business administration. I decided to get my MBA because I knew it would be a positive asset toward my long-term career goal of owning a construction business. In my high school years, I worked as a construction apprentice for a local business. I loved many aspects of the business, such as building something from nothing. I knew that I wanted to incorporate this work into my long-term career, but I didn’t want to work as an apprentice . This led me to pursue business. In ten years and with the help of this scholarship, I will have graduated with my MBA almost a decade prior . After graduation, I plan to take a business administration internship with a carpentry business to help myself get a footing in the field. After about two years of this, I will have started my own construction business.

Career goals essay example 3 – What matters most to you and why?

The people I surround myself with matter most to me. Whether it be my relatives, friends, or professional acquaintances, I always care the most about the happiness of the people around me. Making the people around me happy matters the most to me because I truly because we find our happiness through others. I believe that this drive to make a positive impression on the people around me is what drove me towards a career as a nurse . I always thought of hospitals as places where people need someone to support them and make their day a little happier. I wanted to be one of those who spend their careers positively impacting people in need. This scholarship will enable me to finally afford nursing school and go after my dream job full force.

Career goals essay example 4 – What are your short- and long-term career goals, and how will earning this degree contribute to achieving those goals? Please provide a minimum of 200 words.

My short-term career goals involve working directly with underprivileged young people to increase the literacy rate in my community. As a student of an underfunded and understaffed school, I’ve seen firsthand how much of an impact early literacy education makes on long-term achievement. It broke my heart to see my peers embarrassed at their struggle with reading at an advanced age, and this shame added another dimension to their lack of opportunity. Being a literacy educator for young people would allow me to serve this community directly to show them not only the necessity of strong written communication skills, but the joy of reading for pleasure. This program focuses specifically on early literacy, and would provide me a direct route to a career in serving the community I hope to serve. As for long-term career goals, I hope to one day create a program where socioeconomically parents can bring their children for literacy education, not only to increase their ability to navigate the world of language, but also to instill confidence and joy in the written word. What drew me to this program was that it also has administrative, legal, and business dimensions that would set me on the path toward achieving this goal.

Here are some tips to keep in mind for writing a career goals scholarship essay:

Write about goals relevant to the scholarship. Although you may have many different kinds of goals for your personal and professional future, a scholarship essay only discusses objectives that are relevant to the program you’re applying for.

Be honest. Applying for a scholarship is stressful because the applicant’s education is usually reliant on receiving these funds in one way or another. Even though it’s tempting to exaggerate your skills or pretend you’re more passionate about something than you are to make yourself a more competitive applicant, it’s a bad move.

Use your own, unique voice. The essay portion of a scholarship application is your chance to stand out by using your voice. Nobody else, regardless of their academic or professional achievements, is you. Make this clear in your career goals scholarship essay by keeping your unique written voice engrained in the words you produce.

Be specific. A big reason that scholarship committees ask applicants to write a career goals essay is to determine how prepared they are in planning their long-term professional goals. They aren’t interested in providing a scholarship to students who aren’t going to follow through with their career plans.

Explain long and short-term goals . Even if the essay prompt asks you to describe where you see yourself in ten years, you still need to tell them the steps leading towards this picture of success.

Include the short-term goals that add up to your larger career objectives in your essay response. Explain how accomplishing the smaller goals gives you an advantage when tackling long-term ones.

Explain how the program and scholarship will help you. Before writing your career goals essay, consider how this program and scholarship will help you in your career. The answer to this question is essential.

Follow the essay formatting guidelines. This may sound obvious, but it’s surprisingly easy to forget this step when your essay is finally flowing and when you’re scrambling to get it submitted on time.

Check, double-check , and triple-check the essay guidelines for content, word count, and formatting requirements. If you miss any of these steps, your essay may be immediately disqualified no matter how good it or the rest of your application is.

Many times career goals essays are written by students who have already completed at least some college or are applying to a post-graduate program and need more money to continue.

There’s a good chance that your career goals have changed since you started or graduated college. For example, say you wanted to be an engineer , so you got your undergraduate degree in engineering but realized you didn’t like it after working in the industry for a few years.

You decided that nursing would be more up your alley, and now you’re applying for a scholarship for a nursing program. While this isn’t unusual, it can make it more difficult to write a career goals essay since your past work doesn’t necessarily match your future goals.

In this case, you’ll simply need to explain why you changed your career path and why this next one is the best choice for you. Share your decision-making process to show that you haven’t taken the switch lightly, and talk about what you’ve already done to try to pursue this path.

How do you write a career goal for a scholarship essay?

You write a career goal for a scholarship essay by sharing your passion, explaining both your long- and short-term goals, and relating your goals to the scholarship.

Explain why you want to pursue the career you’re pursuing, where you hope to be in the future and how you plan to get there, and how the scholarship will help you do this.

How do you describe your career goals in an essay?

You describe your career goals in an essay by explaining what you want to do in your career, why you decided on this career path, and what you’ve done so far to make that a reality.

You can usually work these factors into any prompt you receive, so think through them before you start writing so that you can use them as an outline of sorts.

What are career goals examples?

Examples of career goals include:

Working as a grant writer for a nonprofit organization.

Becoming a department manager and eventually an executive in your field.

Owning your own plumbing company.

Caring for underserved communities as a nurse practitioner .

What are some goals for success?

Some goals for success include growing in your role, building your network, and finding joy in the job. Most careers don’t just happen overnight and require you to set the right milestones that work best for you. Not everyone will have the same goals for success.

How do you start a career goals essay for a scholarship?

You can start a career goals essay for a scholarship by directly answering the prompt. Most scholarship prompts include a word count of between 200 and 500 words, so it’s essential that you immediately respond to the prompt. Attention-grabbing sentences and narratives can be helpful for setting the scene, but an efficient and direct answer will show a clarity of mind that helps enhance the quality of your answer.

BLS – Career planning for high schoolers

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Sky Ariella is a professional freelance writer, originally from New York. She has been featured on websites and online magazines covering topics in career, travel, and lifestyle. She received her BA in psychology from Hunter College.

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Essay on Career for Students and Children

500+ words essay on career.

Career is a very important thing in one’s life. Whatever career path you choose to follow, it will impact your life greatly. Your career will define your status in a society in addition to your lifestyle. In other words, your career will determine your social circle and relationships.

Therefore, it is extremely important to choose the correct career path . From a very young age, we aspire to be something or the other. While someone aims to be a doctor, some wish to become a painter. Our career choices depend on a lot of things. Thus, it is important to consider all factors before choosing a career path.

How to Choose your Career?

You must consider a number of factors before deciding on your career. Each factor plays a significant role in your choice. Firstly, always assess yourself thoroughly. You must understand your area of interest to choose a career. For instance, someone who dances well can surely become a doctor, but his interest will always be in dance. Thus, ensure that you have the caliber to perform well in the field you choose. This will come from your area of interest itself.

After that, you look for the opportunities available as per your area of interest. Now that you are aware of what you like and dislike, you can easily look for occupations matching your passion. Make a list of the occupations you can get into following your interests. Furthermore, shorten the list you have prepared. You must do so as per what suits you best. Consult with your seniors and parents to make informed decisions.

Most importantly, acquire the skills for the career option you are interested in. Ensure you earn the qualifications and degrees for it. Try taking training programs to enhance your skills. This will give you an upper hand in knowing whether you are correct in choosing the specific career plan. Furthermore, create an impressive resume which can help you get the right opportunities.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

How to Achieve your Career Goal?

There are steps you need to take before achieving your career goal. As they say, success doesn’t come overnight. You must work along the way to accomplish your goals. There is always hope if you have the will. Firstly, create profiles on different job portals to attract the employer’s attention. When you maintain your profile well, you will be able to get good career opportunities.

Moreover, always maintain your network. Build a solid network and create sources in the field. This way you can update yourself with the latest happenings in the industry. In addition, try to attend the related seminars and workshops that happen related to your career choice. You will meet influential people of the same field who can broaden your thinking.

In short, always remember to stay determined. You can easily achieve your career goal if you set your mind to it. In other words, people usually distract themselves easily. You must not do so and focus on your career path to achieve your goals efficiently.

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• November 8, 2023
• Education Advice

Passion vs Money: Should You Choose a Job You Love or One That Pays?

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Passion vs. money—this is an internal debate that everyone has at some point in their life. On one side, you probably hear parents, relatives, or even strangers telling you to be realistic and find a job that pays well . But on the other side, there are friends or even TED talks of successful people telling you that “following your passion is the secret of success.” And, only naturally, you feel confused and anxiously question whether you should follow your passion blindly with little chance to get money from it or choose a career that you don’t even like just because the job itself seems promising for your future.

But, even so, following your desires can leave a sense of well-being and happiness in everything you do. While there is no doubt that this is a question of opportunity and the hand you’ve been dealt with, following one’s passion seems more appealing to most.  However, how to know the line between when it’s unproductive to pursue a career you’re passionate about and a different (financially better) route?

Benefits of Choosing a Career You Love

In the world we live in today, money is definitely a powerful tool, but choosing to chase it often comes at the price of not being able to do something you love and look forward to every day.

This ancient dilemma is by no means black and white; there are many benefits to a dream job in the grey area. It is worth noting that should you choose to pursue your passion, workdays will seem less monotonous, and there won’t be a dull feeling washing over you when the alarm clock rings. The phrase, “Choose a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life,” may seem like a washed-out cliche, but it does hold some truth in it.

In terms of higher motivation, doing the job more effortlessly and passionately, you can see how that sentence got so famous. It’s true that a day of work still remains a day of work, whether you like the job or not. However, the small factors in and around it do change and ultimately have an impact on our overall sense of self.

Career growth

Growth in a career is more probable when the job consists of things that motivate you. You won’t simply be finishing tasks and not thinking about them, nor waiting for the clock to strike five (if you’re doing a 9 to 5 job), so you can leave your workplace. It seems like a minor thing, but it plays a vital role in how far you go in your career. Hence you will be looking for more creative ways to do your job and spot details that you wouldn’t have if you didn’t put your heart into it.

Being passionate about work

Being passionate is directly linked to being productive. If it really is something you’re passionate about, there is a sense of being content with what you have accomplished during the work hours and beyond. The by-product of your work will be something you take pride in, and that will serve in giving you a reason to keep doing it.

Obviously, loving what you do brings in motivation because it is activated by your own desires rather than material gains. Oftentimes in life, we can find ourselves lacking the motivation to do anything, but if someone presents us with something we enjoy, it will possibly make us get out of bed and get working. HuffPost tells the tale of Richard Weinberg , a man who found that salsa was his passion at 49 years old. This discovery led to him participating in multiple dance categories, and it gave him a sense of purpose in his life.

Better health

How much you enjoy your job primarily affects your mental health, as doing something you don’t like on a daily will eventually start to consume you. On the other hand, doing something you enjoy waking up for in the morning can help you not only feel better but even get lost in the work if you’re having problems in other areas of your life. According to a study , the time spent engaging in our passions contributes to lower stress and our happiness. Your work can be some sort of an escape. And when it plays out like this, your productivity may increase due to the focus you shift on your job.

Pleasure in the work environment

It’s no secret that a career you’re passionate about will, in most cases, provide you with a more pleasurable work environment. Chances are that your coworkers will be like-minded, and besides the working part, you’ll have fun during the hours spent interacting with them. Even without that, there is comfort in spending time in a place that has intentions that coincide with yours.

Fulfillment

It goes without saying that you feel fulfilled when you work on something meaningful to you. And especially after achieving the end goal of it. Obstacles you find on your way won’t be as relevant because you will always find a creative way around them. We spend most of our days working, and that alone should be a reason to follow something that leaves us with a feeling of satisfaction during the hours we put in.

Disadvantages of Doing What You Love

As with anything in life, choosing to follow your dream has another side to the coin. While it can turn into something beautiful and life-changing, there’s also the possibility of not being in tune with the current market. Thus, either not allowing you to make a living out of it or make as much as you would ideally want.

According to Forbes , when we tell people to follow their passion, we assume they have one, which is not always the case. There are people whose passions change over time, and that is entirely normal. Plus, you can have interests that aren’t necessarily something you love but merely something you find appealing and intriguing that can also serve as a money-making career.

Now, although it is mostly a personal issue whether you choose to chase your dreams or focus on a career relevant to today’s market, here are some disadvantages of doing what you love.

Your passion might turn into a job

This is a big risk when you start pursuing your dream. We know that work can sometimes be stressful, and it may seem as if deadlines are hovering over our heads, and that treads dangerously close to turning us against our passion. At some point, your passion may not be something you do for yourself, but something that brings in the paycheck at the end of the month, and it can lose the shine it once had.

Another risk you will be taking is that your dream career does not have a promising job outlook . Sure, if your passion lies in IT or business , it is likely that you will be getting a steady salary out of something you enjoy doing. However, more times than not, people have passions that either don’t pay well or the industry is too big to penetrate, which can be problematic and discourage them from pursuing it.

Passions can change

Although this is not always the case, for many people, passions change over time, especially if they have roots in their early years. It’s by no means a bad thing, but it can intervene in your life if you have chosen to pursue your passion as a career. Because we are continually developing and learning new skills , it can be hard to say if your fascination with a certain field may fade over time, but to some, that’s just a risk worth taking.

Benefits of Choosing a Career with a High Salary

For some people, doing what they love and earning enough money for a normal life don’t go hand in hand. For others, it’s a matter of either not having a passion or growing out of a dream they once had. Consequently, these reasons make a high-paying career a valuable option. It is understood that without a steady income, it’s unlikely that passion will be the thing you want to follow.

Of course, following one’s dreams has the emotional rewards that a job that pays your bills is unlikely to offer, but if you aren’t able to afford rent or pay off your student debt, maybe it’s time to postpone your passion and focus on solutions. We’ve all heard that money can’t buy happiness, but is that phrase completely true?

There are many things money can’t buy, but sometimes having it can make many of our problems go away, which is why there’s a list of benefits to choosing a job that provides us with a high salary.

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The obvious one: money

As stated above, this is a prominent perk of choosing to seek a job that will pay you well. A study shows that money can be associated with happiness, but not in the way you’d think. The study shows that people making under $75,000 a year tend to have lower happiness levels. However, past that point, money doesn’t seem to have an effect on the human brain., Furthermore, having a steady income influences our mental and physical health. It is undoubtedly more comfortable knowing that you don’t have to worry about the price of something you like and how you will make ends meet from month to month.

People tend to respect those who are well off. Although it’s considered as an artificial way of gaining respect by some, most of the time, it works. Generally, a high income is associated with success, and we tend to respect successful people. In addition, there is a correlation between “important work” and high salaries, which leads us to think that only a high-paid job is respectable.

There is safety with high income, no doubt. You won’t have to worry about many things that take money to acquire. Plus, a high-earning career is oftentimes placed in a big industry that isn’t going anywhere, so you can find employment opportunities just about anywhere. Keeping your work away from monetary vulnerability is vital, especially when you have a family to take into consideration or other matters of importance to you.

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Disadvantages of Doing Work That Pays Well, But You Don’t Like

As good as money and safety sound, there is a downside to pursuing a career in a field you simply have no connection with. For starters, it will never feel as if you are close to living your dream unless, of course, that dream consists of a high-paying job that you don’t exactly like.

It’s hard to enjoy working in a place that doesn’t seem to motivate you to do the job well, and even when the working hours aren’t long, they are likely to seem so. When you’re stuck performing tasks you see no point in, you may lose focus on working on your skills and may feel lost in the job.

Most well-paying jobs can cast a lot of pressure, especially when it isn’t something you feel excited about, and that can have an impact on your view of life.

Long working hours

Jobs that offer a high payday often tend to go hand-in-hand with long working hours. Even when they don’t, to see that large number at the end of the month, you will probably have to put in a few extra hours, and that can be tiring. This is not always the case, but when it is, it can leave you little to no time to do anything else apart from work. A survey has found that executives and managers with smartphones—who are all well compensated—tend to spend 13.5 hours a workday interacting with work.

Usually, in the world of big money, there is a lot of competition and a lot of things changing rapidly. You have to constantly chase the next big thing and keep fighting for your position within the organization. However, this is not the case with every job, and maybe yours doesn’t really come with this downside. But for those it does, the pressure can oftentimes be overwhelming.

Not focusing on skills

Money-focused jobs are mostly concentrated on making the best out of the skills you already possess. Meanwhile, with a job you start out with because of your love for it, you will probably take time in developing and nurturing skills, like critical thinking , that can guarantee long-term success. Nevertheless, there are jobs out there that guarantee a good salary as well as skill training programs.

How to Decide Between a Job for Money vs. Passion

Choosing between money vs. passion is an ancient dilemma that troubles the minds of many people all over the world to this day. The stakes are pretty high as only a handful of people are fortunate enough to find a job that pays well and fulfills them. This is backed by research, too; According to a survey by Harris Interactive , only 20 percent of people across America feel passionate about their jobs. On the other hand, Pew Research Center found that about half (49%) of American employees are very satisfied with their job.

So, should you try and settle for a promising career without much passion, or should you risk it for a job that you love and fulfills you? Well, there is no simple yes or no answer to this question, and there are many important factors to consider before deciding between a job for money vs. passion. We will try to help you with this critical decision, so keep reading to learn how to choose between a job you love and career growth.

Making money vs. doing what you love: things to consider when choosing

Both of the options have a yin and yang, and sometimes deciding between the two can seem like mission impossible. But, that shouldn’t be the case, and it won’t be if you study your options closely and decide based on facts and feelings equally.

At the end of the day, isn’t your fulfillment and ability to say that you’re happy with your choices the most important thing?

However, it’s not that simple; there are many things to take into consideration when making such a big decision for the path in which you want your life to follow. You have to look at all sides carefully and then decide how and what you should be doing and do it.

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Earning potential

Before diving into a field of interest, you should consider the earning potential it offers. There is a chance that your passion has great pay on the menu as well. Yet, the time when you should consider putting your passion aside—not forgetting it—is when you know you won’t be able to afford it. If it keeps you from life’s necessities, then you can always opt for treating it as a hobby, giving it your free time of the day, and making money in another field.

What you want from life

This is honestly the most crucial element in your decision-making process. Maybe you want to turn your passion into a job you love, but there is a chance that you want to keep far away from responsibilities and only enjoy it in your leisure time. Neither of these is incorrect; it’s merely a point of view. Clearly, none of us are absolutely sure in what we want from our lives in every aspect of it, but having a slight idea might help you come to a conclusion with this dilemma.

Sometimes, you can do both

Doing both does not have one final meaning. It could be that your dream job just so happens to be a career that makes you more than enough money, or you follow passion at the same time as following a different work pathway. Maybe you get lucky and make money off of a passion that you thought would take you nowhere, or you happen to fall in love with a job that you didn’t feel strongly towards at first; the possibilities are endless.

Choosing between a beloved field or the one that will pay your bills can sometimes send you into a spiral of thoughts that is hard to get out of. However, it is a significant decision that will follow you for the most part of your life. When making this judgment, you should look into all the advantages and disadvantages that come with either one of the possibilities. From money and stability to happiness and fulfillment, these all play a role in this puzzle. But, most importantly, remember to listen to the logic and your heart simultaneously because they generally come up with the best verdict together.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

Is it better to love your job or make more money.

The answer to this question definitely depends on your priorities and values. Some prioritize job satisfaction and fulfillment over a higher salary, while others prioritize financial stability and security. Ultimately, the answer will vary from person to person.

Is salary more important than passion?

There is no universal answer to whether salary is more important than passion. Your decision should be based on your individual circumstances, values, and goals. It’s important to strike a balance that aligns with your overall well-being and allows you to lead a fulfilling life.

Should I follow my career or passion?

It’s possible to find fulfillment and success by aligning your career with your passion, but it may require some creativity, perseverance, and adaptability. The key is to make a decision that aligns with your values, goals, and circumstances and that ultimately brings you satisfaction and happiness in the long run.

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Love or Career: Which Is More Important?

How do you choose between love or career? Both could last a lifetime, but perhaps not simultaneously.

Yet some lucky people find and manage both beautifully. Which is more important in the long run? Let's study an example of one woman's struggle deciding between love or career. Her name has been changed for privacy.

Sacrificing Love For Your Career

Linda shines at Davis Polk & Wardwell, one of our nation's most prestigious law firms. Just eight years after Yale Law School, at the age of 34, Linda achieved her life long dream of making partner.

At last I have arrived, Linda first thought to herself. She spent countless hours in school studying late at night to get perfect grades and build a perfect resume. That was five years ago.

One day while working on an important case, Linda walked by the pantry only to overhear her associates whisper about her. She couldn't quite catch everything they said. But phrases such as, “ She's almost 40, ” and “ Is she still single? ” zinged her ears.

Never one to doubt herself, Linda kept going for the rest of the week. This case is my priority; it's my mission , she kept saying in her head. Her clients are fighting a hostile takeover from a competitor, and it's her job to defend them.

Breaking Down And Feeling Lonely

At 11:00 PM on Friday, she finally returns exhausted to her grey-scaled, minimalism-inspired condo at the St. Regis Residences. With a soft glass of Cabernet, Linda looks out to the Bay Bridge and begins to cry.

Why am I crying? Linda thinks to herself. I successfully defended my client and the competitor is looking to sweeten their offer. My clients will be filthy rich! I'll be filthy rich.

Linda is unhappy because at 39 she is alone. There's nobody to share her $2 million a year income with. And so she shares it with her apartment instead.

She buys the most expensive amenities, such as textured Brazilian cherrywood floors and Waterworks fixtures. Plus, she pays $2,600 a month in homeowners association dues alone so that she can have all the pampering in the world.

One touch of a button and housekeeping will come and take away her laundry and shine her marble bathroom floors. What's the point of working so hard if not only to simplify my life? Linda wonders.

If Looks Could Kill

Despite the frequent client wining and dining, Linda is extraordinarily lean . With high cheekbones and sunken cheeks, she looks almost like a gaunt cross-country runner who indulges in the latest protein bars.

Her eyes are green and intense; she is a woman of focus and intent. She'll snap you with her stare. Yet she is unable to melt you with her smile.

Linda can't believe that almost fourteen years have passed since she first graduated from law school. People told her that her thirties would be the best years of her life.

In many ways they were, as she had one success after another in her career. But, despite all the studying in college, she misses her twenties because she had her youth and her future.

As trivial as it may seem, Linda misses having long hair and the ability to wear a pony tail if she wanted to. No, that's unprofessional and inconvenient, she told herself once she turned thirty. If I am to be taken seriously, I need to have shoulder length hair that is simple, yet powerful. Linda has all the power she's ever wanted now.

The One That Got Away

The one that got away was not a case, but a man she met during work right after she got promoted. He was a new lateral hire who came in as a second-year associate.

Peter, age 28, was her subordinate. After many endless weeks of working together, they fell in love. On the weekends they would get away on road trips up to Napa Valley and stay at their favorite resort, Auberge du Soleil. Linda paid the $700 a night resort fee of course.

One weekend, as they were lounging by the pool, sipping Arnold Palmers and holding hands, the most senior partner's wife appeared. Peter and Linda's hands immediately released, but it was too late.

The partner's wife had already spotted them and she was shocked. How could one of their newly promoted partners and a second year associate be having a relationship? The partner's wife was aghast, and Linda and Peter were ashamed.

Linda was petrified that all her hard work would be for nothing if word got out that she was having a relationship with one of her subordinates, seven years her junior.

No, she's worked too hard to let some man ruin her career. Linda rushed over and spoke to the partner's wife in private, pleading her not to say a word. She agreed, but only if Linda stopped seeing Peter. Linda acquiesced.

Related: You'll Always Regret Sacrificing Love For Money

Alone In The Darkness

It's been five years since the incident, and Linda's career has been on a rocket ship's path. Word never got out about her fling with her subordinate and Peter left several years ago for richer pastures.

Linda has everything she's ever wanted, yet feels empty because she has nobody to share her good fortune with. Next week she turns forty and she worries whether she will be alone, forever.

Tips On Choosing Love Or Career

Perhaps Linda's story resonates a lot with you, or maybe not. We are all impacted in different ways and at varying degrees. So should you choose love or career?

Here are some tips to help you process your emotions and decide if you need more love or career right now. Or if you can find a way to balance both!

1. Identify Your Personal Values

It's hard to build a deep relationship with someone if you don't love yourself first. Identify your personal values and have a deep understanding of what's important to you.

Long lasting relationships are built on shared values, mutual respect, trust, strong communication, and of course love. Interestingly, long lasting and happy careers are built on these same ideals.

Identify the most important values you want to prioritize. Then you can decide if love or career is more important to you now.

For example, if you want to prioritize independence, autonomy and growing your net worth then career should probably be your priority.

Related: Career Or Family? You Only Have To Sacrifice For 5 Years At Most

2. Have Difficult Conversations

If you are in a long-distance relationship and are trying to decide if you should quit your job to be with him/her, get ready to be uncomfortable. Have as many difficult conversations with your significant other as possible before making a career change.

How compatible are you really with this person? Do you share similar long-term goals? Get the answers to questions like do you both want kids, where do you both want to retire, do your families get along, etc.

3. Take A Good Look At Your Finances

What is your financial situation like? If you're single, it's super important to familiarize yourself with all of your assets and liabilities. Open a free account with Personal Capital to get a quick and easy look at your finances.

You can see all of your bank accounts in one secure portal. Plus, you can quickly track your net worth, set savings goals, plan for retirement and more.

If you're in a relationship, take a long hard look at each of your finances together . Do you share similar personal finance goals? How do you each approach debt, spending, saving, investing?

Couples who are on the same page financially tend to have much happier, healthier relationships.

4. Weigh The Pros And Cons

It sounds so simple, and it is. Make a list of pros and cons and see how it pans out. Sometimes just writing things down makes it easier to make a tough decision like love or career.

Then go through the list with your closest friends and family. Perhaps they can lend a fresh perspective and offer additional insights.

5. Trust Your Instincts

At the end of the day, you want to make a decision that will help you sleep easier at night. Think about what your instincts were really telling you when you walked away from your job interview, got denied from a promotion, finished your last date, etc.

Hone in on what makes you happy and how you can keep that happiness going. Having a job you love to go to is priceless. Don't give that type of luck up easily. There are millions of unhappy employees out there, let alone unemployed people.

And finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is also priceless. If you've found your best friend, hold on tight and don't let go.

However, if you're at a job you hate or are in a relationship with a lot of holes, believe you can do better. Trust your instincts. If you put in the effort to improve your life, anything is possible.

6. Think Outside The Box

Sometimes you don't actually have to choose love or career. You can have both! Thanks to the global pandemic, working remotely is becoming the new normal. Perhaps you don't have to quit your job to move out of state to be with your loved one after all.

Many companies are opening up to permanent work from home policies. As long as you have internet access, what does it matter where you're logging in from?

Keep an open mind and think outside the box. Perhaps a beautiful balance of love and career are in your not too distant future.

Related: Don't Make Over $400,000 A Year If You Want To Be Happy

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Having a nice financial runway to move on to the next career, go after love, start a company, retire early, take care of a family, or simply travel the world is priceless. I personally negotiated a severance that paid for five years of living expenses.

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Readers, what would do if you were Linda five years ago? Would you have defied the partner's wife's wishes for your love of Peter? Or, would you do as Linda did and break it off because she invested too much in her career? Love or Career, which would you choose?

* Note: All names and the law firm have been changed for privacy.

For more nuanced personal finance content, join 100,000+ others and sign up for the  free Financial Samurai newsletter . Financial Samurai is one of the largest independently-owned personal finance sites that started in 2009. Everything is written based off firsthand experience. 

About The Author

Financial Samurai

58 thoughts on “love or career: which is more important”.

Great article. When your life becomes connected with your loved one, you do all your actions, focusing already on “two”, somewhere you adjust, somewhere you play along with you, there are compromises in something. But the key point remains in the fact that only YOU always decide. And even if a loved one asks you very much, sets conditions, forces, takes any actions, all the same the decision how to act in the given circumstances remains only for you. You make a choice in favor of your work, no matter how difficult the situation with the partner may be, which means that at least one percent was more important and more convenient for you. Stay with your loved one, sacrificing a career – accordingly, in life for you this person is the most important thing in the world. And you don’t have to suffer that you had to miss one thing, because life is not an easy thing, not everything is perfect in it, and if we make a choice, it means, after all, we win for ourselves in something.

Another factor is how we are raised and as women the experiences of our mothers. My mother didn’t have the freedom and opportunities I had to make choices. She wanted to further her education and have a career but her parents pushed her to get married early and then she had kids to raise. She was in a bad marriage with my father and told me to focus on my education and career and getting married was not important. In fact she made me think that only women without choices get married and if she had to do it over again she wouldn’t get married. It took me until my mid-30s to admit to myself and others that I did wanted a companion. I had been in relationships before with men who treated me well, but as soon as the men started talking about marriage I broke it off. I am now in my mid-40s. I’ve travelled the world and have a very successful career, but have no idea how to find a compatible partner.

Wow, a very classic case of a successful career or love. With the constant reminder of friends that are married with a family. But this is the same case with how Michelle Obama met Barack Obama. Barack Obama was a mentee while Michelle mentored him at a law firm and well you know the rest ;) . Sometimes in the end, you just gotta go with your heart and your gut instinct. If you want love and a career you’ll find a way!

I would have clasped the hand tighter – You have to stand up for what you believe in. With endless money and no love, you feel empty – however it doesnt matter how much you earn if you find that special person – you are the richest man/woman in the world. Money can be lost overnight – love lasts forever. She has made a big mistake. If other people didn’t respect her – then she can go to another firm. Skills are transferable, relationships are not.

Is it that easy though? Does love really last forever? I see many cases where it doesn’t.

@MyATM I know dozens of women attorneys who put off finding a mate and having children to further their careers, then wish they could turn back the clock 5-10 years. Focusing on your career is a risky proposition – not everyone makes partner, and rarely do people stay at the same job/firm forever, which often means hitting the reset button on your career track.

Nothing says you can’t have your cake and eat it too. My wife fell in love and furthered her career too. I fell in love and my career has been more of a work-in-progress. Probably would’ve been easier to manage that family/life balance if we had kids a few years earlier to be honest.

I don’t think it comes to love vs. career. You can manage both. The nature of finances is instability. There is never a perfect time to start a family.

delurking myself here. but I am sick of people saying Single people have no responsibility. In this case, she is a successful lawyer, she is responsible for her clients, she is responsbile for her financially liabilities and as a citizen(taxes, hoa fees, i.e. she is not a deadbeat.) she is someone’s daughter. I am going to take a big leap and assume she takes some responsbility as a daughter or someone’s sister/cousin. Most of all she is responsibile for her own life. So far, she has succeeded to reach her goal. That’s pretty responsible.

As for sharing whatever she has with someone, that’s her choice. but to me that ideal is overrated. (don’t shoot me.) but why? why should that be the ultimate goal? The way story is written cast her as sad despite all of her accomplishment. Why? Why can’t she feels happy to just be.

Wow this is an interesting post. But in my opinion, it should be career first then when you’re stable financially, you can have the love that you want. :)

I think Linda probably dated Peter because it was convenient. She worked all the time and he was a coworker. Creating a social network outside of work takes effort. I would join some kind of outdoors club or something that interests her so she can meet someone. Heck with her money and willingness to spend it, she can probably hire an executive dating service and pay someone to do the legwork.

It’s too late to change the past, but Linda can change the future. Maybe she should decide what she really wants out of life and make it happen.

Great read, full of vivid descriptions and emotion. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Enjoyed how you captured Linda’s story.

You’re right. Putting things in perspective, she doesnt have many problems or much to worry about. And that goes to show how much more important companionship is, given she is so distraught.

Interesting story, Linda shouldn’t be feeling sorry for herself. She’s a well accomplished woman, and just because she is alone, doesn’t mean her life can’t be fulfilling.

Besides, what if she went for Peter, and he actually turned out to be a money grubbing douchebag, she didn’t sign the prenups and he went for all her millions in assets? What if they had a child, and he later became a douchebag, and now a child is brought into this marital mess?

There are lots of what ifs in life, and I know it’s easy to look back and say “if i could do it over again…” but that’s life. You just have to live for the present, focus on yourself and what gives you happiness, and happiness will come.

They say you once you stop trying, love comes.

Besides, 40 is not that old, there are plenty of divorced mid-life crisis men milling around. :)

Also, I have a happy ending to a colleague of mine (though she wasn’t quite as successful as Linda). She was 44, desperate to find someone, spent thousands on matchmaking services, and ended up finding someone when she least expected it. He is absolutely enamored by her. So enamored that he wrote a book about her! How sweet is that? :)

That might be a little scary if a woman was so enamored with me that she write a book!!! Maybe Fatal Attraction redux! Good for her though.

If we are in relationships, it’s easy to discount how easy it should be for single people to find someone. We say, eventually someone will come. But, when we are alone, sometimes it feels like the end of the world and we start to question what’s wrong with us.

Tough choices!

In my honest opinion, it should be career first then love. When you already have a stable career then you can start finding that love. Remember, opportunity knocks only once. Love doesn’t have expiration. But career should be established so that your future will be brighter.

Sounds like she needs to read “Your Money or Your Life.” And do a little thinking. It’s ok for her to make her career her #1 priority if that’s what she wants. But she may want to change careers to one that’s more personally meaningful. She could really make a mark somewhere. Or she may be happy with what she’s doing and just needs to assuage those nagging doubts. It may be bothering her that her colleagues think she is somehow nothing without a man in her life… the patriarchy does that.

I’ve got a highly successful professional friend who became a LOT happier once she came to terms with being single. She’s very set in her ways and likes things just so. It is unlikely she will ever find a guy as OCD as she is about home-living. But her mom and other family members are SOOOO worried that she’s somehow less of a woman if she doesn’t get married and have babies. They’re worried their friends think she’s a lesbian. Once she realized that these were her relative’s concerns and not hers and she’s perfectly happy with 2 cats and a large social network of friends, it was freeing. She may find love or she may not, but she no longer thinks there’s something wrong with her for being alone. She likes it that way.

I like that perspective alot. Perhaps it’s just who she is and she should accept it and be happy. Too bad there’s this big gorilla called Society, influencing our various ways of doing and thinking.

The answer is simple: she should look Peter up now and be ready to eat some crow and admit she made a bad decision. Hopefully she can find something in this process.

So much of life is about choices and priorities. No one can have it all. I believe the key is to be deliberate in your decisions, accept that making one choice means another that you can’t make. And then, accept the decisions you make. If I were Linda, I would make it a priority to find a partner. Life is better when it’s shared!

I say she should’ve stayed with Peter or at least tried to find someone she could share her life with because it’s obvious that she feels a void. If she didn’t then that would be a different matter but she clearly does. It leads me to think that working so hard for a career without some balance of family or friends is not really worth it. There’s no insurance for success but if you have a family you love, that’s a pretty good life.

Wow touching story, very hollywood-like. It’s tough to say really… it all comes down to how she feels now, if she regrets it then it was probably a poor choice. $2 million a year is great, but could she have balanced her work and social life better and made only $1 million year? Perhaps still making a lot of money(if not quite as much) and living your life more freely is the way to go.

I think it’ all or nothing for Linda. You can’t work 50% less and make only $1 mill. It’s balls to the wall or no partnership at all.

Absolutely true. Scaling down for less pay is many a Biglaw lawyers dream and ideal situation. Unfortunately, the system doesn’t really make it possible and that’s especially true for partners.

This is a tough situation! I think that I’d realize that I have a lot at stake in my job, but as you mention in the beginning, there’s no point in being rich if you cant spend it on someone. Does peter still work at the same firm now, or has he moved on? Can they continue their relationship today? The decision that was made in the past has already been made an reacted to by all involved parties – there’s no sense in second guessing what they were to do or what was the right situation for the time – the only thing that can help linda (and possibly peter) is if they are able to reconnect.

He’s moved on…. long ago. No idea… I think he found himself another woman already.

That’s a tough one. Just because she’s turning 40 doesn’t mean she’s never going to find someone to spend her life with. But dating takes time so if she is too consumed with work that she doesn’t have any time to date, well then her chances of finding someone are probably going to stay really low. I think people who have good work/life balances are the most happy whether single or not. Hopefully she can focus on the future and not worry about the decisions she made in the past. She could be a fascinating candidate for the Bachelorette!

Good idea! My friend got on the Bachelorette as a bachelor after his friend submitted his application for him!

Does one really have work/life balance if one is single though? Hmmmm.

She made her bed and now she’s lying in it. I’m sure there are plenty of guys who wants to be with Linda. Maybe she should open herself up to more dating opportunities. If she is happy with her career, there is no reason to quit. Good move on dumping Peter, those office romances never work out well especially when there is an imbalance of power.

She shouldn’t be dating a subordinate. It’s screwed up on so many levels.

I’ve seen it at work and it pisses me off beyond belief. Shitty performer gets special treatment, special assignments, “protection” and eventual promotions because they’re having relations with the boss – which is both unethical and against a clearly stated company policy.

Quite simply, the right thing to do before that fateful trip would have been to voluntarily report a potential conflict of interest, request that the new employee report to someone else and problem solved.

She put herself in that position, so I have sympathy.

Maybe reporting oneself is “the right thing to do”, but I’d venture to guess most people would believe that it’s really none of anybody’s damn business. That’s what I would think too.

That said, there are rules to interoffice romance due to conflicts of interest, liability reasons and so forth, and they need to be reported.

While people may think it’s not anybody’s damn business, they’re wrong for the reasons cited. No different than nepotism, blackmail or any other “hidden” relationships that influence decisions. It’s not fair to other employees or the company.

Well, I wonder how ‘in love’ Linda was if she was able to drop Peter like a hot potato in favor of her job. Office romances happen all the time. If I was truly in love (and he felt the same toward me), I would have continued the romance secretly and started looking for another job. (Or, see if Peter could find another job, although that may be harder since he just transferred.)

Unfortunately, Linda is reaping what she sowed when she chose work over relationships. I don’t see a mention of any friends either, and if that is the case, I can see why she would be lonely.

She can look at this time as a epiphany and decide to cultivate some relationships, or she can continue on her current path. Which will win love/friendships, or money?

It’s tough though bc Linda has invested so much of her time in her career. It’s like a race against time bc of mortality and of fading beauty which is often times needed to first ensnare the mate.

It’s just hard to pull away…….

@Money Reasons I see your point here, but not every woman wants children. So those women you work with who appear lonely because they don’t have children may not be as lonely as you think they are. Maybe they have fulfilling lives outside of work through volunteering or hobbies that keep them occupied and engaged.

I love kids and work around them 180 days a year (well, 175 this year due to furlough days) but I don’t have any of my own. That doesn’t make me lonely, it makes me well rested! ;)

Good point LH! Do you plan to have kids or live the well rested, free life? I love this topic, and would love to gain more perspective from you or other women who are considering not having kids. Perhaps a guest post!

I might take you up on that guest post offer! I sort of wonder how many people had children because they thought they had to, but then realized maybe they shouldn’t of (ie.e they weren’t the best parents, they had little time, etc.) Maybe I’ll angle it in that direction. I’ll get back to you on this. ;)

Hmm, yeah that is a good point.

Actually my aunt, who is married, decided not to have kids either, so the “having kids” element to my prior comment isn’t really relevant…

I guess “being lonely” is a relative thing, especially if kids aren’t involved. I think without a intimate “opposite sex” companion, bonds with friends and animals (cats and dogs) become much more intense.

I guess it comes down to the question “Is Linda happy?”. Based on her success, power and respect levels from others, I would guess that she is.

I think the only way that she wouldn’t be happy is if she views not having a partner as somehow wrong or losing something. But that just society norms, if she can get past that, it’s all good.

I’ve believed for a while now that all the money in the world means nothing I’d there’s nobody to spend it with.

Linda is turning 40, not 80! She’s still young and has time to find someone to have a relationship with. Perhaps if she wants children, she may have to decide to adopt instead of having one biologically, but then again maybe not (look at Halle Berry and Nicole Kidman!)

However, if Linda is unhappy with her life, then maybe it’s time for a change. She’s achieved her initial goal of partnership so maybe it’s time to set a new goal; one where she works less and focuses on what really makes her happy – or finds time to research what may make her happy. I’d say that this 40th birthday can be the beginning of a new start – a middle of your life start where she can set new goals to achieve. All I can say is Happy Birthday Linda -make it a great one!

Tis true. But isn’t 40 the new 60? Just kidding! It probably is time for a change. She should take her millions and at least go on a 6 month sabbatical or leave of absence!

She has achieved success in her life professionally. I agree with the others that maybe it is time to step back a bit from the career and focus more on her personal life. It is not just the lack of romance; she sounds lonely in general. Does she have good friends? My guess is that she probably didn’t have time for that either. Now is the time to make changes in her personal life so she doesn’t have regrets as she ages.

Yes she has a couple good friends, who are married with kids. That makes things even tougher for her to be around them b/c they remind her of what she’s been wanting for the past 5+ years. No regrets as they say!

I think if I were her, I would have stayed in the romance. After all, Linda is in a narrow professional niche where it would be hard to date or be involved with anyone else other than another attorney… To me Linda sounds more like a professional money making machine instead of a woman. I’m sure flowers and a confession of love wouldn’t really do it for Linda.

Even if she found someone of equal intelligence, she runs in such a narrow lane that I don’t think she would be happy with anybody other than a lawyer of the same caliber.

Sometimes running to fast toward a goal makes it so you miss other opportunities (or so I believe). She’s 40, but that not 60, hopefully she realizes that she’s already rich and it’s time to meet a near equal…

Say story, where I work at, I’ve seen a lot of beautiful women that are knockouts and that appear very lonely without children. My heart really goes out to them, even if they are very successful.

It’s not as if Linda is 80 looking back on her life. She could still easily have the romance, and possible family if she wants. Could she not just take a couple steps back in her professional life at this point? I don’t pretend to know a whole lot about practicing law, but one would assume as a partner, and someone who should be financially secure, she could determine much of her own schedule now? In fact, I’m sure there are probably more than a few personal finance guys that might be interested. I can see the PF post now…skip being frugal…don’t worry about saving…forget investing, go straight to marrying the pleasant young woman with a law degree that has more money than she knows what to do with. That being said, it would be interesting to see what sort of personality Linda would be attracted to. Strong, ambitious women sometimes find they need an equally strong and assertive guy, others will find more of a balanced relationship with someone who is laid back and follow someone else’s lead. I’d be interested in reading a “Where are they now” column on Linda in a couple years to see if her situation or views have changed.

I’d suspect that the partner’s wife had a thing for Peter and needed Linda out of the way…

I would have done exactly what Linda did. How could she have known that Peter was going to be “the one”…in fact she still doesn’t know if Peter was the one.

Rather than dwell on a romance 5 years ago it is time to figure out what she failed in the 5 years since…why hasn’t she met someone? Does she just not want to meet someone? Which is ok for some but doesn’t sound like it for her.

It seems like sometimes for women, if you have climbed so high in the ranks, and make so much money and have so much power, it becomes increasingly difficult to find that “suitable” someone. How many men are not already married and make so much? I often find that women box themselves in with their rules such as “I won’t date a guy that’s younger than me.”

Men are like, bring it on! Anybody!

Who knows. I think a lot of it is just putting yourself out there, and relying on some faith.

I know exactly what you are saying. It is sort of like nature/DNA taking over – the man has to be able to provide above and beyond what she can…

I think you’ve written about this once or twice on your site. You should write more about this topic! Very entertaining!!

I would agree. I find people put out too many restrictions and they limit their possibilities. Who cares who makes more money? Who cares how old someone is? Just try anyways. You never know what kinds of doors can open. Like you said, have a little faith and take a leap.

She could easily choose both. She just needs to find someone willing to be a “house husband” who is willing to take care of her needs. That’d be a sweet gig!

Her choice occurred much earlier! She made a conscious decision to go after professional success to the exclusion of a personal life I don’t think she knew what she was giving up. She realized it when the incident occurred. She made her choice and she will have to live with the consequences. Aside from the senior partner’s wife catching her, there was probably a policy against this behavior. She showed poor judgment dating a subordinate. Is there an alternative? Absolutely! As a partner, she should be involved socially in the community, joining boards, charities and other organizations. These places of common interests and prestige may be places where she could socialize and meet people. This could help her professionally and personally. If this were important to her, she would have participated in this earlier. There is a reason that these romances are discouraged or banned, because they normally interfere with the business environment.

Agreed. Inter-office romance normally happens because people never look elsewhere; their social circles seem to be restricted to work. Had she joined local communities, charities and other organisations of interest, she could have just as easily met someone outside of work…

Love is blind though right? How can we use judgment to determine who we can and cannot be with. It’s not like Peter was under 18 years old. It’s unfortunate the work environment can dictate who we can and cannot see.

I guess in a law firm, it might be particularly contentious if things turn sour due to the power/subordinate issue. That said, NO LAWER FEES!

I think there is another saying that goes something like this, it is easier to fall in love with a rich person than a poor one. I don’t know what Peter saw in Linda, maybe it was dollar signs. It would probably cause more problems in the firm if it fell apart or even if they marry. The reason for the policy is to avoid situations that could materially affect the work environment. In many cases the organization trumps the individual for the good of the organization. This is true in every organization.

That’s a brilliant saying. It probably is very true. I’m trying to tell the story from Linda’s point of view. So that makes her more moving then since he is poorer….

Poor Linda.

That biological clock is ticking for her I’m sure. It sounds like she tricked herself into thinking money is an end goal, when it should only be a means to an end.

I wonder, did Linda really know what she wanted?

She made her choice: career over love. But I think it might have been a snappy knee-jerk reaction which did not account for the fact that all the hours she had invested in her career were in-effect sunk costs. It seems like a bad move to keep pursuing a career over anything else (love for example) just because you have already invested a lot of time in it.

If I was Linda, I would have taken more time to think about my decision. I would have to determine whether I was happier with my new found love? If so, I would seriously consider giving up some of the career aspirations in exchange for a life that can be shared with someone special.

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