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650-Word Essay Examples

Achievements of roman civilization.

The Roman civilization is widely regarded as one of the most influential and significant in history. Spanning over a thousand years, from its legendary founding in 753 BCE to the fall of the Western Roman Empire in 476 CE, the Romans left a lasting impact…

Kanye West Influence

Kanye West Influence: A Creative Journey that Transcends Boundaries In the world of popular culture, there are few figures as polarizing and enigmatic as Kanye West. From his early days as a producer to his evolution into a groundbreaking rapper and fashion designer, West has…

Disobedience Research Paper

Introduction: Imagine a world where everyone unquestioningly follows the rules and adheres to authority without question. Such a society may appear orderly and peaceful on the surface, but it would stifle progress, hinder social justice, and limit individual growth. Disobedience, contrary to popular belief, is…

To The Ladies Poem Themes Analysis

I. Introduction In the world of literature, certain works have the power to transcend time and speak to audiences across generations. One such piece is the poem “To The Ladies” by Lady Mary Chudleigh. Written in the 17th century, this poem delves into themes of…

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Mike Lupicas Heat Themes

I. Introduction In the world of sports literature, Mike Lupica’s “Heat” stands out as a compelling tale that not only celebrates the thrill of baseball but also delves into deeper themes of perseverance, family, and friendship. Through the captivating story of protagonist Michael Arroyo, Lupica…

Alice Walker Everyday Use Theme

In Alice Walker’s short story “Everyday Use,” the author explores the complex theme of cultural heritage through the contrasting perspectives of two sisters, Dee and Maggie. Through the examination of their divergent understanding and appreciation of their African American heritage, Walker presents a thought-provoking commentary…

Benefits of Online Shopping

Introduction The rapid growth of e-commerce has transformed the retail landscape, with online shopping emerging as a popular alternative to traditional brick-and-mortar stores. This essay examines the advantages of online shopping, focusing on the convenience, accessibility, and economic benefits it offers to consumers. By exploring…

Similarities Between Hitler And Mussolini

Introduction The historical figures of Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini are often remembered for their dictatorial regimes, aggressive foreign policies, and the atrocities committed under their leadership. While their individual stories and the contexts in which they rose to power differ, there are striking similarities…

Scholarship Jacket Themes

Introduction Scholarship jackets, also known as letterman jackets or varsity jackets, have long been a symbol of academic and athletic achievement in American high schools and colleges. These jackets are typically awarded to students who have excelled in academics, sports, or other extracurricular activities, and…

The Bible Codes

Introduction The Bible codes, a phenomenon involving the supposed discovery of hidden messages within the Hebrew text of the Torah, have sparked intense debate among scholars, theologians, and the general public. This essay will delve into the concept of Bible codes, focusing on their origins,…

Health Challenges in Overpopulated Regions: Risks and Strategies

Introduction Overpopulation poses significant challenges to public health in various regions around the world. With increasing populations, the strain on healthcare infrastructure and access to care intensifies, leading to heightened health risks and compromised well-being. This essay aims to identify the health risks associated with…

AI for Overpopulation Challenges: Optimizing Resource Distribution

Abstract: Overpopulation presents a significant challenge to the sustainable development and well-being of densely populated areas. As cities continue to grow at an unprecedented rate, the strain on resources, healthcare systems, and urban planning becomes increasingly burdensome. To address these challenges, the integration of artificial…

Cultural Perspectives on Overpopulation Challenges

Introduction Overpopulation is a global issue that affects societies across the world. As the world’s population continues to grow exponentially, societies face numerous challenges, including resource depletion, environmental degradation, and strained social structures. However, the response to overpopulation varies significantly across diverse cultures. This essay…

The effectiveness of gun-free zones in preventing violence

Introduction Gun violence has become a pressing issue in society, necessitating the implementation of measures to curb its occurrence. One such measure is the establishment of gun-free zones, which aim to restrict firearms in specific areas. The effectiveness of gun-free zones in preventing violence is…

Cybersecurity measures against gun trafficking

Introduction In an era of digitalization, the advent of cybercrimes has posed new challenges to maintaining public safety. One such pressing concern is gun trafficking, which has found a new breeding ground in the digital realm. To address this issue, the implementation of robust cybersecurity…

The role of schools in promoting community safety

Introduction: Community safety is a paramount concern for societies worldwide. Ensuring the safety of individuals and their surroundings is crucial for fostering a conducive environment for growth and development. While various stakeholders play a vital role in maintaining community safety, schools hold a unique position…

The effect of electoral systems on gun control debates

Introduction The issue of gun control has long been a subject of intense debate globally, with varying opinions and approaches on how to effectively regulate firearms. One aspect that often goes unnoticed in these discussions is the role of electoral systems in shaping the trajectory…

Comparative politics of law enforcement models

Introduction: Law enforcement plays a crucial role in maintaining social order and ensuring public safety. However, the specific methods and models employed by law enforcement agencies vary significantly across different countries and regions. This essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of the comparative politics…

The effectiveness of policing strategies in different cultural contexts

Introduction Policing strategies play a crucial role in maintaining law and order within societies. However, the effectiveness of these strategies varies across different cultural contexts due to the diverse values, norms, and beliefs that shape communities worldwide. This essay aims to explore the impact of…

Addressing systemic racism within law enforcement agencies

Introduction Systemic racism within law enforcement agencies has been a longstanding issue in the United States. It is a complex problem that requires a comprehensive approach to effectively address its structural roots. This essay aims to explore the various aspects of systemic racism within law…

What Is a 650-Word Academic Essay?

A 650-word essay is a piece of academic writing that consists of approximately 650 words. It is a moderate length essay that falls between shorter essays (e.g., 300-500 words) and longer ones (e.g., 1000 words or more). In terms of content, a 650-word essay allows for a focused discussion of a specific topic or argument. It provides enough space to present an introduction and a conclusion, and even body paragraphs.

What Are Some Examples of Topics For a 650 Word Essay?

There are numerous topics that can be explored in a 650-word essay. Here are some examples to consider: the impact of social media on society, climate change and its consequences, the importance of education in modern society, the ethics of genetic engineering, the effects of technology on human interaction etc.

What Does a 650-Word Essay Look Like?

It is typically consists of approximately 1.5 to 2 pages, assuming double spacing and standard formatting.In terms of structure, a well-written 650-word essay generally includes: introduction that provides background information on the topic; body paragraphs each focusing on a specific point or supporting argument; and a conclusion that summarizes the key points and/or suggests further implications related to the topic.

What Is Required Amount of Research for a 650-Word Essay?

For a 650-word essay, it is typically recommended to conduct thorough research to gather relevant information and supporting evidence. This may involve reading scholarly articles, books, or reputable online sources, as well as reviewing credible data, statistics, or case studies. The research process should aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of the topic and help develop well-informed arguments. It is essential to attribute all sources properly and avoid plagiarism by citing your references according to the appropriate academic citation style (e.g., APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.).

What Should You Focus On During the Revision Process for a 650-Word Essay?

Review your essay to ensure that your main arguments are clear and well-supported. Check for coherence and logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Remove any unnecessary or repetitive information. Assess the style and tone of your essay. Ensure that it is appropriate for the intended audience and purpose. Consider if your writing is concise, engaging, and maintains a consistent voice throughout. Look for opportunities to vary your sentence structure and length, avoiding repetitive phrasing or excessive use of certain words or phrases.

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650-Word Essay Examples

Father and son relations: analysis of the movies.

• Subjects: Entertainment & Media Movies

Sex Marriage: Personal Opinion

• Subjects: Family, Life & Experiences Marriage

Some Thoughts on what is to be Done

• Subjects: Historical Literature Literature

Economic Analysis of Stone Crab Season

• Subjects: Economic Systems & Principles Economics

Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

• Subjects: American Literature Literature

The Brady Training Program

• Subjects: Business Employee Relationships

Reaction Paper for the Article “Thanks for the Memories”

• Subjects: Cognition and Perception Psychology

High Unemployment to Last for Years

Errors in reasoning: fallacies.

• Subjects: Rhetoric Sociology

Sex Roles: Dating vs. Hooking Up

• Subjects: Development Psychology

Media Violence and Altruism

• Subjects: Psychological Issues Psychology

Arthur C. Clarke’s “The Star”

• Subjects: British Literature Literature

Entrepreneurship Skills From Washington’s Life Experiences

• Subjects: Business Entrepreneurship

White Teeth Novel by Zadie Smith

The concept of wei-wu-wei in understanding tao te ching.

• Subjects: Philosophical Theories Philosophy

The Complexity of International Relations

• Subjects: International Relations Politics & Government

The Three Main Causes of Great Depression

• Subjects: History United States

The Elements of Negligence Act

• Subjects: Criminal Law Law

Paul Laurence Dunbar’ “We wear the Mask”

• Subjects: Literature Poems

Reduce Hospitalization of Nursing Home Residents

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Nursing

Food Security Policy Brief

• Subjects: Business Industry

Health care information systems terms

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Health IT

Apartment living in downtown area versus country side living

• Subjects: Socialization Sociology

Pets’ Adoption: Cats Make This Life Happier

• Subjects: Sciences Zoology

Analysis of Citation from Blu’s Hanging by Lois-Ann Yamanaka

• Subjects: Literature World Literature

Control Measures in Business Planning Errors

• Subjects: Business Management

Marginal Analysis of Cheating

• Subjects: Education Education Issues

Controlling Stress and Tension

An analysis of carney’s “african rice in the columbian exchange”.

• Subjects: Advertising Entertainment & Media

The Declaration of Sentiments

• Subjects: History Women Studies

A Critical Evaluation of Historical & Scientific Standpoints on Homosexuality

• Subjects: Gender Studies Sociology

An Analysis of the Article: Prostitutes on Strike

Socio-political foundations of hip-hop.

• Subjects: Racism Sociology

“The Place of Nonhumans in Environmental Issues”. Summary

• Subjects: Environment Environmental Studies

Comparison of Two Kinds of People

Views in “a dove in santiago: anovella in verse”.

• Subjects: Dramatic Literature Literature

Critical Response “On Compassion”

• Subjects: Behavior Psychology

Economic Theory of 3rd World Country

Recognize the principles of the judiciary.

• Subjects: Constitutional Law Law

Two Communication Rules in My Family

• Subjects: Alternative Medicine Health & Medicine

Shopping Diaries: Brand New Flat Screen 47-inch TV

• Subjects: Business Marketing

Level of Credibility in the USA

“ionych” and “ana on the neck” by antony chekov.

• Subjects: Comparative Literature Literature

Analysis of “If you assign my book don’t censor it”

• Subjects: Education Pedagogical Approaches

ESL Strategies: Stand-alone ESL Program

• Subjects: Education Study Courses and Education Programs

Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP)

• Subjects: Accounting Business

The Impact of a Third Party in Averting a Conflict

True or false having kids makes you happy.

• Subjects: Family, Life & Experiences Parenting

A Theoretical Analysis of the Act of Cell Phone Texting While Driving

• Subjects: Entertainment & Media Pop Culture

Women Immigrants from Asia

The use of puzzle game elements in detective fiction story, herman melville’s “bartleby”.

• Subjects: Aspects of American Novels Literature

This is not a Test

• Subjects: Art Film Studies

Waiting for Superman

• Subjects: Documentaries Entertainment & Media

The American Judicial System

• Subjects: Government Politics & Government

Preparing for College Life

• Subjects: Education Educational Stages

Arguments for and against Homosexuality: A Civil rights & Liberties Perspective

Kenya’s economic growth, social interaction problems in usa.

• Subjects: Sociological Issues Sociology

Safety Program Management

American foreign policies, federalism in the united states, cold war era and threats to american families, is anselm right in asserting god’s existence is necessary.

• Subjects: Philosophical Concept Philosophy

Information Technology Project Implementation Failures

• Subjects: Project Management Tech & Engineering

Impact of Scientific Discoveries on the World

• Subjects: Tech & Engineering Technology Effect

Prevention of Medication Errors in Diabetic Patients in Home Health Services

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Medical Ethics

Public Art’s Benefits and Effects in the Community

• Subjects: Art History of Art

A Discussion on Bureaucracy & Post-Bureaucracies

What isn’t for sale, comparing and contrasting social cognition models, analysis of primary sources in the triangle waist factory fire, why is the management of visibility a central feature of contemporary politics.

• Subjects: Political Communication Politics & Government

Bath and Body Works Company

• Subjects: Business Company Structure

Response to The Accidental Asian

Acquisitions in strengthening market position.

• Subjects: Business Strategy

The consultant – organizational interaction

Modern theories about literacy.

• Subjects: Academic Performance Education

How Newark Became Newark

Organizational psychology: recommendations for huffman trucking, returning tardis to profitability, catullus’ lyric poem and his obsession with lesbia, nanjing chuangqi auto parts company.

• Subjects: Business Company Analysis

Colonial Women’s Freedom in Society

English racism during world cup.

• Subjects: Sports Sports Science

Republic of Ireland market SWOT analysis for Barclaycard

• Subjects: Business Case Study

Beyond the Boundaries of the Ordinary

• Subjects: Art Artists

Internet Monopoly of Knowledge

• Subjects: Entertainment & Media Media Influences

Theodore Roethke and Sylvia Plath

Influence of organizational image on outcome, i-phone 4 financial project, american culture and childhood, testing of life expectancy, crisis intervention strategies.

• Subjects: Psychological Influences Psychology

Family Structure Analysis via Film – Kramer vs. Kramer

The pinto fires case.

• Subjects: Business Business Ethics

Corporate Team Building Strategies

How the internet has transformed design & fashion.

• Subjects: Design Design Trends

Political Realignments in The 1890th

Sustainable development: conventional versus emergent alternative wisdom.

• Subjects: Ecology Environment

What Schools Should Teach?

• Subjects: Education Education Theories

Strategic Planning in an Organization

Problem of the planets, organizational behavior and the individual, importance of studying economics, two definitions of critical thinking, summary: “prototypes for teaching word meaning”.

• Subjects: Education Teacher Career

“Beauty and politics” Arthur Danto

Effects of corporate social responsibility (csr) on business projects, the concepts of culture.

• Subjects: Cultural Issues Culture

Why Do People Switch Careers?

• Subjects: Business Professions

Interpretive Statement on “At That Moment”

Managers’ sensitivity to the wishes of their employees, business strategy of blue nile inc, money mechanics in banks system.

• Subjects: Economics Regulation of Finance

Telecommunication Project: Bluetooth

• Subjects: Internet Tech & Engineering

Marketing is everybody’s business by George Gresham

Current day racism vs. traditional day racism, contrast tensions between religion and society.

• Subjects: Society's Imperfections Sociology

Conflicts in the Working Place: The Art of Keeping Your Head

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Vast 650-Word Essay Example Catalog

6808 samples of this type

What does a 650-word essay look like? This is a piece of writing about 2.5 double-spaced pages long – a typical assignment for college admission. For a college essay, it is very important to strictly adhere to the established paper volume. Don't think that the more the better – you should write the required number of words, plain and simple. Before you start your writing, we advise you to take a look at the sample 650 word essays to learn how to compose your original paper.

Check out the papers we've collected for you. Our 650-word college essay samples will help you develop an interesting essay topic, create a good hook that will immediately catch the reader's attention, and come up with an overall impressive piece of content. You can find a worthy example by reading its introduction and conclusion.

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Expertly Crafted Essay On Movie Piracy: Is It Ethical?

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Write By Example Of This Orlando Bizline: Porter’s Five Forces Analysis Essay

Orlando Bizline is among agencies that deal with robust and complex accounts lists of several large businesses. The paper aims to analyze the competitive position of Orlando Bizline in Miami and Atlanta. For this purpose, Michael Porter’s Five Forces Model is used as it is considered as the most effective way of analyzing the competitive environment. The model is comprised of a framework that includes five factors (Dess, Lumpkin, Eisner, & McNamara, 2013). Figure 2: Porter's Five Forces Model (Crackmba, 2012)

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Sales Comparison

Let us calculate how much sales in dollars made each of the salespersons during 6 weeks. Total A = week1 + week2+week3+week4+week5+week6 = 1774+1808+1890+1932+1855+1726=10985

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How to Write the Best 650-Word Essay?

Table of Contents

Pursuing higher studies in a famous USA-based university is the dream of many overseas students. And one of the common processes for admission here in the US is submitting a 650-word essay . This essay is evaluated by the panel of admission officers and then the candidates are selected.

The 650-word essay is known by many names like personal statement or common application essay. The most crucial essay for undergraduate applicants hoping to enroll in a US university is this one. More than 800 US universities accept this 650-word essay as their major admission criteria! That translates for students to be both practical and terrifying at the same time. How do you decide which 650-word essay prompt would produce the best college essay when you’re comparing them all? Nothing to be concerned about.

This blog, written by the experts at AllAssignmentHelp will guide you through best practices and all aspects related to a 650-word essay. By reading this piece, you will be able to ideate, make, and eventually achieve positive results with any admission essay.

What is a 650-word Essay?

A 650-word essay is typically a short essay that is used to evaluate the abilities of a candidate planning to join a USA-based university to pursue higher studies. Such pieces of content bring their inner self in front of the admission officers’ panel and through proper evaluation of these essays, candidates are being selected for continuing their further studies.

It has been found that in many colleges across the USA, keeping their educational qualification aside, students have been selected for their writing skills and thinking abilities.

If you are also an aspirant and looking forward to continuing your educational journey from any of the USA-based colleges, it is a must for you to hone your essay writing skills to produce an engaging essay within the 650-word limit .

Read more: What is the Common App Essay Word Limit?

Issues Students Face While Writing Their 650-Word Essay

The 650-word essay is quite critical and needs much writing skills and patience from the students. There are some common issues that students face while writing such a piece.

Let’s take a quick look at these below:

Overuse of drama

Students frequently believe that their essays should be about something dramatic and different from their daily lives. These can be on a mission trip or a painful experience. On the other hand, some interesting essays discuss subjects that may appear unimportant or unimportant. Examples are a pastime, a fandom, or a brief incident or period in an applicant’s life that had an impact on them. It might not be the perfect topic for you if the experience you are thinking of writing about in your essay did not have a good influence on who you are now.

Covering too much ground

You can’t include every detail of your life in the 650 words allotted. To assist the reader in understanding your personality , focus your common application essay on a specific experience or issue that highlights one of your strongest qualities. 

Excessive demonstration

When an applicant is circling the issue and making excuses, it is also a turn-off for any reader. The smallest details of an applicant’s experiences that have no bearing on the situation are not something that anyone is interested in reading about. Students need to follow this and refrain from writing excessively to demonstrate their abilities.

Crafting an academic resume

Since this isn’t your resume, you don’t have to include all of your accomplishments in it. For that purpose, the list of common app activities is already provided. Therefore, be truthful and convey an experience that demonstrates your ability to grow and learn from setbacks while also showing that you are a person who occasionally fails.

To be able to get rid of all these common errors need a clear understanding of what is asked of you to write and analysis of it. This can only be done when you spare some quality time practicing such essays regularly. Unfortunately, students at their undergrads level already have huge academic pressure and literally think to ask someone Can you please do my 650-word essay ? The solution to this common issue is finding a genuine essay writing service on your search engine and paying them a small amount to get it done professionally.

Most Used 650-Word Essay Prompts for Your Better Understanding

To be able to write a good 650-word essay, you need to know the prompts well.

The following are the most used prompts:

• The knowledge we gain from overcoming challenges can be crucial to our success in the future. Tell of a moment when you overcame a difficulty, disappointment, or setback. What effects did it have on you, and what did you take away from it? 
• Some students feel that their application would be incomplete without a particular background, identity, interest, or talent since it is so significant. Would you kindly share your experience if this describes you? 
• Think back to a surprising act of compassion or gratitude that someone has shown to you. How has this appreciation inspired or changed you? 
• Think back to a moment when you questioned or disagreed with a concept or notion. What made you think what you did? What was the result? 
• Talk about a success, incident, or realization that spurred a phase of personal development and a fresh perspective on you or other people. 
• Submit an essay on any subject you like. It might be an original piece of writing, one that reacts to a different prompt, or one you designed yourself. 
• Describe a subject, notion, or idea that captivates you to the point where you lose all sense of time. Why is it so captivating to you? When you’re looking to learn more, who or what do you consult? 

When you know all of the above prompts clearly, you will be able to produce a highly engaging essay that will be appreciated by the admission officers of any college. However, reaching that level of writing the pro-college admission essay is not so easy. It takes much time and for that, you need to spend some quality time practicing writing 650-word essays.

Yet, if you find it too stressful to manage your 650-word essay all by yourself, hiring an essay assignment help service will be the smartest option. Expert essay makers of these services can make an essay for you that can grab attention quickly and higher your chances of getting admission to your dream US university without any issues.

Read more: Literary Developments in the Puritan and Restoration Eras

650-Word Essay Examples for You

The topic you are choosing for your 650-word essay also carries a lot of importance. If there is a space and you have the opportunity to select your topics, making it uncommon yet highly engaging can make a big difference.

Take a quick look at some of the 650-word essay examples for your better understanding:

• Narrowing the Gap between the Rich and the Poor in the Society
• Economic Analysis of Stone Crab Season
• The Brady Training Program
• Entrepreneurship Skills from Washington’s Life Experiences
• High Unemployment to Last for Years
• In the Eye of a Boy: Back into the Childhood
• Reaction Paper for the Article “Thanks for the Memories”
• Controlling Stress and Tension
• Apartment living in the downtown area versus countryside living
• Media Violence and Altruism

Writing an effective admission or 650-word essay around any of the above-provided topics can help you grab readers’ eyes and make it to admission to a good college based in the USA without any hassle. However, if you think, writing such an essay is not your cup of tea and wonder I wish I had someone to take my online class for me so that I can give more time to writing such pieces and sharpen my skills, you just need to turn to Google and can get many companies providing online class help at an affordable cost. Sign up quickly to sort the issue.

Tips for Writing a 650 Word Essay for Admission in Your Desired College

There are some proven and highly effective tips that you can use while writing your 650-word admission essay. These can make your plan essay a highly engaging one and help your piece stand out from the crowd.

Take a look at the below-mentioned tips:

Begin with a well-defined framework

Outline before you write to arrange your ideas and important themes. This ensures that you are responding to the prompt appropriately and helps you maintain concentration.

Cut to the chase

Steer clear of long introductions or extraneous details. Get right to the point of your tale or message from the outset to establish a strong impression on the reader.

Wondering I wish I had someone to take my online exam as I want to prepare for my 650-word admission essay for my future higher study possibilities. Why feel anxious when there are several professional essay-writing services to help you at any time? Find one on Google and by paying a small amount you can get a highly effective and impactful 650-word essay written by experts.

Give precise instances

Use specific examples and anecdotes from your experiences to support your views rather than making sweeping generalizations. This helps you use your word count more effectively while also making your essay more interesting.

Be straightforward and productive

To save word count, remove any content that is repeated or superfluous. Write your essay again and again, focusing on methods to make it tighter and convey your points more succinctly.

Strike a balance between storytelling and reflection

A strong college essay should shed light on your hobbies, ideals, and personality. A sufficient word count should be allotted to both conveying your story (narrative) and thinking back on it (introspection). A well-balanced essay shows the reader how you’ve grown and become aware of yourself while also holding their attention.

Thinking I need help with my 650-word essay quickly as the final day is approaching. No worries! Professional admission essay makers can take care of your 650-word essay and help you make it to the admission directly!

Edit continually

If a sentence, paragraph, or even an entire part doesn’t forward the main point of your essay, don’t be hesitant to remove or modify it. An essay that is concise and to the point works much better than one that is lengthier and full of filler.

Ask for opinions

A second opinion on your essay is useful and helps in understanding the changes. This might assist you in reevaluating your essay and pointing out any places that need improvement. Crafting a compelling 650-word essay requires work, you can succeed if you plan carefully, revise your work, and pay close attention to the details.

As you can see, following all the above-mentioned tips can help you ideate and create an awesome 650-word essay that will wow your readers. This will also make sure that you get the opportunity to continue your higher studies at any notable college based in the USA.

Wishing you all the luck!

Read more: Tips to Craft A Problem Solution Essay

“The pen is mightier than the sword,” A popular quote by Shakespeare is enough to justify the power a pen can have. However, that pen should be in the right hands only then it could be as powerful as the sword.

Writing an essay seems to be an easy task but not every time. When you have to write a short essay such as a 650-word essay, you need the brilliance of mind and know how to condense your thoughts and ideas. This can only happen when you have good writing skills and are aware of all the guidelines related to writing such content pieces.

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650 words on college essays.

The life of an admissions officer can be a fascinating one. I spend a lot of time traveling to faraway places to meet students from around the world, voting in committee to help determine each next college class, but I am perhaps most privileged to have a unique glimpse into the personal lives of hundreds of 17 year olds each year via my absolute favorite art form: the college essay. After 5 years I have read thousands of these 650-word windows into the minds of high school students, and can assure you that the college essay comes in many flavors: good, bad, eloquent, conversational, sarcastic, insightful, deep, shallow, hilarious, painful, delightful, disturbing, and so on.

For any high school senior working on their college applications, the essay can seem like a daunting task. For Yale, you’ll even have to write more than one. I hope you see this not as a burden or a hoop you must jump through, but an opportunity: to reflect on your past few years and look ahead to college. The skills of reflection, self-expression, and cogent writing are all ones that will serve you well in college (in fact, they will be critical), so consider this practice. You do not have to be the world’s most eloquent wordsmith to write a successful college essay; the best essays we read are those where the genuine voice of a high school student (that’s you!) comes through loud and clear and we really get a sense of who you are.

When I talk to prospective Yalies about the application process, I am often asked what my favorite essay topic is. I assure you there is no such thing. The quality of a college essay has little to do with topic, and everything to do with reflection and voice. I truly believe I could read 100 essays about the same topic, each of them completely unique and in their own ways excellent and entrancing (or not). There are certainly amusing trends that emerge over time: in the past few years, I’ve seen an uptick in essays reflecting on life lessons learned from Uber drivers. I’m told that 10 years ago, essays explaining what Hogwarts House one belongs in were abundant. I wouldn’t dare say that there are any essay topics you should shy away from, because I’m certain that a great college essay could be written about nearly anything. And it doesn’t matter if we’ve read about it before – only you can write about you.

I do have favorite essays that I can remember, but they have no particular topic in common. Instead, they are the ones where at the end I have a grasp on what it might be like to have a conversation with the writer, to be in the same room as them. This is what we mean when we talk about voice. Revise and edit, but be sure not to lose the sense of individuality that only you can put into words. Have someone proofread, but don’t get too much help. My colleagues and I can tell when an essay is written more by a parent or, dare I even say it, a college consultant than by a student – and I can promise you that those pieces are not very good.

While your grades and test scores will speak for themselves and your teachers and counselor will write on your behalf, the essays are your opportunity to really take control of your application. Every required bit of writing should be considered precious real estate on your applications; think about what you want us to know about you, and do your best to work that information into the space allotted. It is through these essays that your admissions officer revels in your successes, shares in your disappointments, gets to know – forgive the cliché – the real you. So get writing. We can’t wait to hear from you.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, good length for college essays: what does 650 words look like.

I've seen college essays requiring 650 words, but what does that look like? Any advice on how to make sure I'm staying within that range?

A 650-word essay is approximately a page and a half to two pages long when using a standard 12-point font and standard spacing between lines. To visualize what 650 words look like, think about a typical two-page, double-spaced essay with an introduction, three main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

To ensure you stay within the 650-word limit, begin by drafting an outline for your essay to help you organize your thoughts and stay focused on the main points you want to convey. Keep your introduction and conclusion concise, whereas you can afford to go into a bit more detail in the body paragraphs. As you write, consider using a word processor with a built-in word count feature (such as Microsoft Word, Google Docs, or Pages) to keep track of your word count in real-time.

After completing your essay, it is helpful to revise and edit your work to remove any unnecessary words or phrases, and to make your sentences more concise and clear. This process will also help you ensure that you're adhering to the word count requirement.

Finally, remember that while it's essential to stay within the word limit, quality and effective storytelling should be your priority. Focus on conveying your message and telling your story in a way that captivates your audience and demonstrates who you are as an applicant.

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

Free 600-Word Essay Samples

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An essay of 600 words is approximately 2 pages double-spaced or 1 page single-spaced. The most common format for all the major citation styles is 12-point Times New Roman, double spaced. This is about 250 words per page. While APA 7, MLA 9, and Chicago also accept fonts like Arial and Calibri, TNR 12 ppt is still preferable.

A 600-Word Essay Is How Many Paragraphs?

A 600-word essay contains 2 to 6 paragraphs on average. The length of a typical academic paragraph is about 100 words. You should include at least four sentences in your paragraph.

What Does a 600-Word Essay Look Like?

The easiest way to organize a 600-word essay is to use a standard 5-paragraph structure. The paper should start with an introduction: a hook, some background data, and a thesis statement. Then come three body paragraphs, each focused on one argument. The concluding paragraph is to contain a summary and a restated thesis.

How Long Does a 600-Word Essay Take?

It will take you about 12 to 24 minutes to type 600 words on your keyboard, depending on your typing speed. However, if you also need to perform research, make a reference list, add in-text citations, and graphic materials, you’ll need more time – not less than 2 hours for 600 words.

How Long Should an Introduction Be for a 600 Word Essay?

An average introduction length of a 600-word essay should be 90 words. The exact requirements will be given by your professor.

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Free Essays by Words

How Many Pages Is 650 Words? (Solved W/ 10 Examples)

For this article, I tested and solved how many pages it takes to write 650 words.

How many pages is 650 words?

650 words is 1 1/3 (or 1.3) single-spaced pages using average-length words, 11-point standard fonts, 1-inch margins, an 8X11 page, and no sections. 650 words equal just over 2.5 pages based on the same criteria. Page count depends on spacing, font, margins, word length, and sections.

In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about 650 words and page counts.

8 Factors That Affect How Many Pages 650 Words Make

Table of Contents

To determine how many pages you can get out of 650 words, you need to consider at least eight factors.

Here are eight factors that determine page counts for 650 words:

• Typed or handwritten
• Word Length
• Number of Sections

Let’s go through and answer “How many pages is 650 words?” for each factor.

How Many Pages Is 650 Words Single Spaced?

650 words are usually 1 1/3 (1.3) pages.

That means a little less than 1 and 1/2 standard size pages using standard size fonts. All other things being equal, most pages you’ll come across contain 500 words.

Therefore, doing simple math, you can conclude that 1 page (500 words) plus 1/3 page (150 words) equals 1.3 pages.

You can shorten or lengthen the number of single-spaced pages by:

• Using fewer or no paragraphs (not recommended)
• Using short words
• Using short sentences
• Using only one space after periods
• Not using a comma before the “and” or the “or” in a series of three (Example: words, punctuation and style)

For a visual reference, there are 287 words in this article as of the end of this sentence.

How Many Pages Is 650 Words Double Spaced?

Double-spaced, 650 words is a little over 2 pages of written text.

The exact number is 2.6 pages of double-spaced sentences. Again, using basic math and the standard of 500 words per page, you can calculate the number of pages fairly easily.

For reference, there are approximately 33-36 lines and between 14 to 18 words per line on a single-spaced page.

On a double-spaced page that is approximately 18 lines with 14-18 words each.

18 double-spaced lines with 18 words per line = 647 words (or 2.6 pages)

Here is a short video where I also answer this question about 650 words:

How Many Pages Is 650 Words Handwritten?

650 words equal 2.6 pages of handwritten text.

A lined piece of college-ruled paper typically has around 33 lines of writing space.

When you write by hand, the size of your words and spacing between your words will change the page count. However, on average, most people handwrite larger than a standard 12-size font.

Therefore, handwriting 650 words gets you nearly the same number of pages as typing 650 double-spaced words.

How Many Pages Are 650 Words With Different Font Types?

As we mentioned, the font you use will change how many words you can cram onto a page.

Most people use fonts such as:

• Times New Roman

How many pages is 650 words with these fonts?

Using these font types, you’ll get 1.3 single-spaced pages or 2.6 double-spaced pages.

However, if you get fancy and use other fonts, you might get more or fewer pages out of 650 words. For example, Verdana or Ariel fonts are usually the biggest fonts you can get away with for work or school reports.

How Many Pages Are 650 Words With Different Font Sizes?

Using standard font size, 650 words will make 1.3 single-spaced pages or 2.6 double-spaced pages.

You can also play around with font size.

In Microsoft Word, you can choose a font size between 8-72. Yes, you can go smaller or bigger by manually entering a font size between 1-1638 but I don’t know why you would ever want to do that.

Most writing uses 11 or 12-sized font.

Therefore, here are some other page counts with 650 words:

• If you resize your font to 5.5 to 6, you will lower your page count to .65 (which looks like a small paragraph of barely legible text)
• If you resize your font to 22 to 24, you will double your page count to 2.6 single-spaced pages or 5.2 double-spaced pages

How Many Pages Are 650 Words With Different Page Sizes?

650 words is 1.3 standard-sized, single-spaced pages. If you double-space your text, 650 words are 2.6 pages.

A standard page is 8 X 11 inches.

If you use smaller or bigger pages, you’re going to either get fewer or more pages.

How Many Pages Are 650 Words With Different Margins?

Here is a quick breakdown of how many pages you can make with 650 words using various margin sizes:

• 1 inch margins = 1.3 single-spaced pages and 2.6 double-spaced pages
• .5 inch margins = 1 single-spaced page and almost 1.8 pages (almost two pages)
• 1.5-inch margins = 1.5 single-spaced pages and almost 3 double-spaced pages

Keep in mind that most workplaces and schools require 1-inch margins.

Most of the other margin sizes look pretty strange, anyway, so you’re better off keeping the default size for your pages.

How Many Pages Are 650 Words With Long Words?

650-average length words equal 1.3 single-spaced pages and 2.6 double-spaced pages.

By the way, the average number of letters in an English word is 4.7.

Things get interesting when you change the length of your words in your email, paper, report, or piece of writing.

I ran an experiment where I wrote 650 short words and then 650 long words.

For the test, I counted short words as words between 1-4 letters and long words as words having 5 or more letters.

It was harder than you might imagine.

Here are the results of my test:

• 650 short words = .6 single-spaced pages and 1.5 double-spaced pages
• 650 long words = 1.3 single-spaced pages and 4.5 double-spaced pages

I was most surprised that I didn’t get more pages out of longer words when single-spacing my paragraphs.

How Many Pages Are 650 Words With Sections?

650 words with five sections or subheaders are 1.5 single-spaced pages or 3.4 double-spaced pages.

The more sections you use, the more pages you can get out of your 650 words.

On the flip side, the fewer sections you get, the fewer pages 650 words will stretch. Thankfully, most writing allows for a section every 1-3 paragraphs.

I suggest using as many as you can to break up the text.

How Many Pages Is a 650-Word Essay?

A 650-word essay is 1.2 single-spaced pages and 2.6 double-spaced pages.

Most essays follow the usual rules for writing:

• 11 to 12-point font
• Standard font types like Times New Roman
• Standard 8X11-sized pages
• 1-inch margins

How To Make a 650-Word Essay Longer

Depending on the requirements for your essay, there are several possible ways to make a 650-word essay longer than 1.2 or 2.6 pages.

Here are some ways to extend your number of pages:

• Use the largest acceptable font type
• Use the largest acceptable font size
• Use the largest acceptable margin size
• Use the smallest acceptable page size
• Write sentences where the last word goes to the next line on the page
• Make sure that all of your paragraphs end with one-word lines
• Use more sections and subheadings to break up the text
• Use the largest acceptable size for your headings
• If acceptable, adjust the size of your punctuation (periods, commas, etc.)

How Long Does It Take To Write a 650-Word Essay?

It will probably take you 16 minutes to write a 650-word essay, report, email, or blog post.

That’s assuming you write an average of 40 words per minute.

If you type faster, you can speed through 650 words. If you type slower, it may take you a bit longer.

Here are my tips for writing a 650-word essay faster:

• Outline your essay before you write it (include all of your sections and subheadings on a document)
• Perform all of your research before you start to write (spend 30 minutes researching before writing)
• Write your first draft without stopping to edit, revise, or correct
• Write simple, direct sentences.
• Don’t worry about formatting when writing your first draft
• Use voice-to-text apps or software because more people speak faster than they type
• Use AI writers to write 650-word essays in a few minutes

My biggest two recommendations are to use voice-to-text apps and AI writers.

These two methods alone will probably shrink your writing time down to 1-5 minutes max. However, it depends on the quality of the apps you choose.

Here are some of my favorite tools for writing 650-word essays:

How Long Does It Take to Read 650-Words?

It will take most people about two minutes to silently read 650 words.

If you read the words out loud, it will take you a bit longer—somewhere around 3.3 to 3.5 minutes. Of course, if you read super-fast, you can zip through 650 words in two minutes or less.

When I let a basic text-to-speech app read 650 words, it took 3:48 minutes.

How Many Paragraphs Is 650 Words?

650 words are 3-6 paragraphs of 100-300 words per paragraph.

There are no hard and fast rules about the length of a paragraph. In general, though, most paragraphs contain at least a few sentences and can range from a single sentence to several hundred words.

The number of paragraphs you’ll get from 650-words will vary depending on the topic you’re writing about and the style of your writing.

If you’re writing for an academic audience, your paragraphs may be longer and more complex. If you’re writing for a more general readership, your paragraphs will likely be shorter and simpler.

Ultimately, the best way to determine how many paragraphs you get from 650 words is to write a few paragraphs.

Then you can calculate your average number of words per paragraph:

• Write 3 paragraphs
• Use a tool like WordCounter to count the number of total words in all three paragraphs combined
• Divide the total number of words in all 3 paragraphs by three

For example, if you write three paragraphs with word counts of 150, 210, and 245, your total word count is 605 words.

You then divide 605 by three (the number of paragraphs you wrote).

After the math, you find out that your average paragraph is 201 words.

There’s no need to force yourself into a particular number of paragraphs—just let your ideas flow and see where they take you. Your final piece of writing will be all the stronger for it.

How Many Sentences Is 650 Words?

650 words usually mean 33-44 sentences.

Most people write sentences that average between 15-20 words. Some writers craft longer sentences and others might use shorter sentences, based on their particular writing style.

You can write longer sentences by:

• Adding description
• Spelling out numbers
• Adding modifying phrases

How Many Characters Is 650 words?

650 words is approximately 3732 characters.

The number of characters in 650 words varies by word length, punctuation, and spacing.

You can increase character count by:

• Using longer words
• Using more punctuation
• Using more spacing

Final Thoughts

As a recap, if you use the tools and tricks in this article, your 650 words will likely get you 2-4 pages, 3-6 paragraphs, and 33-44 sentences.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you are able to write 650+ quality words in 10 minutes or less.

Related posts:

• Best AI Essay Writer (With Examples)
• 10 Best Poetry Plagiarism Checkers (2022)
• Tag Writing (Ultimate Guide for Beginners)
• How Many Chapters In To Kill A Mockingbird? (Answered)

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21 Stellar Common App Essay Examples to Inspire Your College Essay

What’s covered:, what makes a good common app essay, is your common app essay strong enough.

When you begin writing your Common App essay, having an example to look at can help you understand how to effectively write your college essay so that it stands apart from others. 

These Common App essay examples demonstrate a strong writing ability and answer the prompt in a way that shows admissions officers something unique about the student. Once you’ve read some examples and are ready to get started, read our step-by-step guide for how to write a strong Common App essay.  

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our Common App essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

It’s Personal

The point of the Common App essay is to humanize yourself to a college admissions committee. The ultimate goal is to get them to choose you over someone else! You will have a better chance of achieving this goal if the admissions committee feels personally connected to you or invested in your story. When writing your Common App essay, you should explore your feelings, worldview, values, desires, and anything else that makes you uniquely you.

It’s Not Cliché

It is pretty easy to resort to clichés in college essays. This should be actively avoided! CollegeVine has identified the immigrant’s journey, sports injuries, and overcoming a challenging course as cliché topics . If you write about one of these topics, you have to work harder to stand out, so working with a more nuanced topic is often safer and easier.

It’s Well-Done

Colleges want good writers. They want students who can articulate their thoughts clearly and concisely (and creatively!). You should be writing and rewriting your essays, perfecting them as you go. Of course, make sure that your grammar and spelling are impeccable, but also put in time crafting your tone and finding your voice. This will also make your essay more personal and will make your reader feel more connected to you!

It’s Cohesive

Compelling Common App essays tell a cohesive story. Cohesion is primarily achieved through effective introductions and conclusions , which often contribute to the establishment of a clear theme or topic. Make sure that it is clear what you are getting at, but also don’t explicitly state what you are getting at—a successful essay speaks for itself.

Common App Essay Examples

Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts.

Prompt #1 :  Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #2 :  The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #3 :  Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #4 : Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? (NOTE: We only have an example for the old prompt #4 about solving a problem, not this current one)

Prompt #5 :  Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #6 :  Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Prompt #7 :  Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and subjects.

Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #1, example #1.

The room was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head. I led a spade from my hand and my opponent paused for a second, then played a heart. The numbers ran through my mind as I tried to consider every combination, calculating my next move. Finally, I played the ace of spades from the dummy and the rest of my clubs, securing the contract and 620 points when my partner ruffed at trick five. Next board.

It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship. The winning team would be selected to represent the United States in the world championship and my team was still in the running.

Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game. Players from around the world gather at local clubs, regional events, and, in this case, national tournaments.

Going into the tournament, my team was excited; all the hours we had put into the game, from the lengthy midnight Skype sessions spent discussing boards to the coffee shop meetings spent memorizing conventions together, were about to pay off.

Halfway through, our spirits were still high, as we were only down by fourteen international match points which, out of the final total of about four hundred points, was virtually nothing and it was very feasible to catch up. Our excitement was short-lived, however, as sixty boards later, we found that we had lost the match and would not be chosen as the national team.

Initially, we were devastated. We had come so close and it seemed as if all the hours we had devoted to training had been utterly wasted. Yet as our team spent some time together reflecting upon the results, we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion. I chatted with the winning team and even befriended a few of them who offered us encouragement and advice.

Throughout my bridge career, although I’ve gained a respectable amount of masterpoints and awards, I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met. I don’t need to travel cross-country to learn; every time I sit down at a table whether it be during a simple club game, a regional tournament or a national event, I find I’m always learning. 

I nod at the pair that’s always yelling at each other. They teach me the importance of sportsmanship and forgiveness.

I greet the legally blind man who can defeat most of the seeing players. He reminds me not to make excuses.

I chat with the friendly, elderly couple who, at ages ninety and ninety-two, have just gotten married two weeks ago. They teach me that it’s never too late to start anything.

I talk to the boy who’s attending Harvard and the girl who forewent college to start her own company. They show me that there is more than one path to success.

I congratulate the little kid running to his dad, excited to have won his very first masterpoints. He reminds me of the thrill of every first time and to never stop trying new things.

Just as much as I have benefitted from these life lessons, I aspire to give back to my bridge community as much as it has given me. I aspire to teach people how to play this complicated yet equally as exciting game. I aspire to never stop improving myself, both at and away from the bridge table.

Bridge has given me my roots and dared me to dream. What started as merely a hobby has become a community, a passion, a part of my identity. I aspire to live selflessly and help others reach their goals. I seek to take risks, embrace all results, even failure, and live unfettered from my own doubt.

This student draws readers in with a strong introduction. The essay starts ambiguous—“I led with a spade”—then intrigues readers by gradually revealing more information and details. This makes the reader want to keep reading (which is super important!) As the writer continues, there is a rather abrupt tone shift from suspenseful to explanatory with statements like “It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship” and “Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game.” If you plan to start with an imagery-heavy, emotional, suspenseful, or dramatic introduction, you will need to transition to the content of your essay in a way that does not feel abrupt. 

You will often hear that essays need to “show, not tell.” This essay actually does both. First, the student tells readers the importance of bridge, saying “we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion” and “I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met.” Then, the student shows the lessons they have learned from bridge through a series of parallel sentences: “I nod… sportsmanship and forgiveness” “I greet… not to make excuses” “I chat… it’s never too late to start anything” and so on. This latter strategy is much more effective than the former and is watered down because the student has already told us what we are supposed to get out of these sentences. Remember that your readers are intelligent and can draw their own conclusions. Avoid summarizing the moral of your story for them!

Overall, this essay is interesting and answers the prompt. We learn the importance of bridge to this student. The student has a solid grasp of language, a high-level vocabulary, and a valuable message, though they would be better off if they avoided summarizing their point and created more seamless transitions. 

Prompt #1, Example #2

Growing up, I always wanted to eat, play, visit, watch, and be it all: sloppy joes and spaetzle, Beanie Babies and Steiff, Cape Cod and the Baltic Sea, football and fussball, American and German.

My American parents relocated our young family to Berlin when I was three years old. My exposure to America was limited to holidays spent stateside and awfully dubbed Disney Channel broadcasts. As the few memories I had of living in the US faded, my affinity for Germany grew. I began to identify as “Germerican,” an ideal marriage of the two cultures. As a child, I viewed my biculturalism as a blessing. I possessed a native fluency in “Denglisch” and my family’s Halloween parties were legendary at a time when the holiday was just starting to gain popularity outside of the American Sector.

Insidiously, the magic I once felt in loving two homes was replaced by a deep-­rooted sense of rootlessness. I stopped feeling American when, while discussing World War II with my grandmother, I said “the US won.” She corrected me, insisting I use “we” when referring to the US’s actions. Before then, I hadn’t realized how directly people associated themselves with their countries. I stopped feeling German during the World Cup when my friends labeled me a “bandwagon fan” for rooting for Germany. Until that moment, my cheers had felt sincere. I wasn’t part of the “we” who won World Wars or World Cups. Caught in a twilight of foreign and familiar, I felt emotionally and psychologically disconnected from the two cultures most familiar to me.

After moving from Berlin to New York at age fifteen, my feelings of cultural homelessness thrived in my new environment. Looking and sounding American furthered my feelings of dislocation. Border patrol agents, teachers, classmates, neighbors, and relatives all “welcomed me home” to a land they could not understand was foreign to me. Americans confused me as I relied on Urban Dictionary to understand my peers, the Pledge of Allegiance seemed nationalistic, and the only thing familiar about Fahrenheit was the German after whom it was named. Too German for America and too American for Germany, I felt alienated from both. I wanted desperately to be a member of one, if not both, cultures.

During my first weeks in Scarsdale, I spent my free time googling “Berlin Family Seeks Teen” and “New Americans in Scarsdale.” The latter search proved most fruitful: I discovered Horizons, a nonprofit that empowers resettled refugees, or “New Americans,” to thrive. I started volunteering with Horizon’s children’s programs, playing with and tutoring young refugees.

It was there that I met Emily, a twelve­-year-­old Iraqi girl who lived next to Horizons. In between games and snacks, Emily would ask me questions about American life, touching on everything from Halloween to President Obama. Gradually, my confidence in my American identity grew as I recognized my ability to answer most of her questions. American culture was no longer completely foreign to me. I found myself especially qualified to work with young refugees; my experience growing up in a country other than that of my parents’ was similar enough to that of the refugee children Horizons served that I could empathize with them and offer advice. Together, we worked through conflicting allegiances, homesickness, and stretched belonging.

Forging a special, personal bond with young refugees proved a cathartic outlet for my insecurities as it taught me to value my past. My transculturalism allowed me to help young refugees integrate into American life, and, in doing so, I was able to adjust myself. Now, I have an appreciation of myself that I never felt before. “Home” isn’t the digits in a passport or ZIP code but a sense of contentedness. By helping a young refugee find comfort, happiness, and home in America, I was finally able to find those same things for myself.

Due to their endearing (and creative) use of language—with early phrases like “sloppy joes and spaetzle” as well as  “Germerican” and “Denglisch”—readers are inclined to like this writer from the get-go. Though the essay shifts from this lighthearted introduction to more serious subject matter around the third paragraph, the shift is not abrupt or jarring. This is because the student invites readers to feel the transition with them through their inclusion of various anecdotes that inspired their “feelings of cultural homelessness.” And our journey does not end there—we go back to America with the student and see how their former struggles become strengths.

Ultimately, this essay is successful due to its satisfying ending. Because readers experience the student’s struggles with them, we also feel the resolution. The conclusion of this essay is a prime example of the “Same, but Different” technique described in our article on How to End Your College Essay . As the student describes how, in the end, their complicated cultural identity still exists but transitions to a source of strength, readers are left feeling happy for the student. This means that they have formed a connection with the student, which is the ultimate goal!

Prompt #1, Example #3

“1…2…3…4 pirouettes ! New record!” My friends cheered as I landed my turns. Pleased with my progress, I gazed down at my worn-out pointe shoes. The sweltering blisters, numbing ice-baths, and draining late-night practices did not seem so bad after all. Next goal: five turns.

For as long as I can remember, ballet, in all its finesse and glamor, had kept me driven day to day. As a child, the lithe ballerinas, donning ethereal costumes as they floated across the stage, were my motivation. While others admired Messi and Adele, I idolized Carlos Acosta, principal dancer of the Royal Ballet. 

As I devoted more time and energy towards my craft, I became obsessed with improving my technique. I would stretch for hours after class, forcing my leg one inch higher in an effort to mirror the Dance Magazine cover girls . I injured my feet and ruined pair after pair of pointe shoes, turning on wood, cement, and even grass to improve my balance as I spun. At competitions, the dancers with the 180-degree leg extensions, endless turns, and soaring leaps—the ones who received “Bravos!” from the roaring audience—further pushed me to refine my skills and perfect my form. I believed that, with enough determination, I would one day attain their level of perfection. Reaching the quadruple- pirouette milestone only intensified my desire to accomplish even more. 

My efforts seemed to have come to fruition two summers ago when I was accepted to dance with Moscow’s Bolshoi Ballet at their renowned New York City summer intensive. I walked into my first session eager to learn from distinguished ballet masters and worldly dancers, already anticipating my improvement. Yet, as I danced alongside the accomplished ballerinas, I felt out of place. Despite their clean technique and professional training, they did not aim for glorious leg extensions or prodigious leaps. When they performed their turn combinations, most of them only executed two turns as I attempted four. 

“Dancers, double- pirouettes only.” 

Taken aback and confused, I wondered why our teacher expected so little from us. The other ballerinas seemed content, gracing the studio with their simple movements. 

As I grew closer with my Moscow roommates, I gradually learned that their training emphasized the history of the art form instead of stylistic tricks. Rather than show off their physical ability, their performances aimed to convey a story, one that embodied the rich culture of ballet and captured both the legacy of the dancers before them and their own artistry. As I observed my friends more intently in repertoire class, I felt the pain of the grief-stricken white swan from Swan Lake , the sass of the flirtatious Kitri from Don Quijote, and I gradually saw what I had overlooked before. My definition of talent had been molded by crowd-pleasing elements—whirring pirouettes , gravity-defying leaps, and mind-blowing leg extensions. This mindset slowly stripped me from the roots of my passion and my personal connection with ballet. 

With the Bolshoi, I learned to step back and explore the meaning behind each step and the people behind the scenes. Ballet carries history in its movements, from the societal values of the era to each choreographer’s unique flair. As I uncovered the messages behind each pirouette, kick, and jump, my appreciation for ballet grew beyond my obsession with raw athleticism and developed into a love for the art form’s emotive abilities in bridging the dancers with the audience. My journey as an artist has allowed me to see how technical execution is only the means to a greater understanding between dancer and spectator, between storyteller and listener. The elegance and complexity of ballet does not revolve around astonishing stunts but rather the evocative strength and artistry manifested in the dancer, in me. It is the combination of sentiments, history, tradition, and passion that has allowed ballet and its lessons of human connection to become my lifestyle both on and off stage.

The primary strength of this essay is the honesty and authenticity of the student’s writing. It is purposefully reflective. Intentional language creates a clear character arc that begins with an eager young ballerina and ends with the student reflecting on their past. 

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the concl usion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

The main weakness of this essay (though this is a stellar essay) is its formulaic beginning. While dialogue can be an effective tool for starting your essay, this student’s introduction feels a bit stilted as the dialogue does not match the overall reflective tone of the essay. Perhaps, in place of “Next goal: five turns,” the student could have posed a question or foreshadowed the growth they ultimately describe.

Prompt #1, Example #4

My paintbrush dragged a flurry of acrylic, the rich colors attaching to each groove in my canvas’s texture. The feeling was euphoric.

From a young age, painting has been my solace. Between the stress of my packed high school days filled with classes and extracurriculars, the glide of my paintbrush was my emotional outlet.

I opened a fresh canvas and began. The amalgamation of assorted colors in my palette melded harmoniously: dark and light, cool and warm, brilliant and dull. They conjoined, forming shades and surfaces sharp, smooth, and ridged. The textures of my paint strokes — powdery, glossy, jagged — gave my painting a tone, as if it had a voice of its own, sometimes shrieking, sometimes whispering.

Rough indigo blue. The repetitive upward pulls of my brush formed layers on my canvas. Staring into the deep blue, I felt transported to the bottom of the pool I swim in daily. I looked upward to see a layer of dense water between myself and the person I aspire to be, an ideal blurred by filmy ripples. Rough blue encapsulates my amorphous, conflicting identity, catalyzed by words spewed by my peers about my “oily hair” and “smelly food”. They caused my ever present disdain toward cultural assemblies; the lehenga I wore felt burdensome. My identity quivers like the indigo storm I painted — a duel between my self-deprecating, validation-seeking self, and the proud self I desire to be. My haphazard paint strokes released my internal turbulence.

Smooth orange-hued green. I laid the color in melodious strokes, forming my figure. The warmer green transitions from the rough blue — while they share elements, they also diverge. My firm brushstrokes felt like the way I felt on my first day as a media intern at KBOO, my local volunteer-driven radio station, committed to the voices of the marginalized. As a naturally introverted speaker, I was forced out of my comfort zone when tasked with documenting a KBOO art exhibition for social media, speaking with hosts to share their diverse, underrepresented backgrounds and inspirations. A rhythmic green strength soon shoved me past internal blue turbulence. My communication skills which were built by two years of Speech and Debate unleashed — I recognized that making a social change through media required amplifying unique voices and perspectives, both my own and others. The powerful green strokes that fill my canvas entrench my growth.

Bright, voluminous coral, hinted with magenta and yellow. I dabbed the color over my figure, giving my painting dimension. The paint, speckled, added depth on every inch it coated. As I moved the color in random but purposeful movements, the vitality ushered into my painting brought a smile across my face. It reminded me of the encounters I had with my cubicle-mate in my sophomore year academic autism research internship, seemingly insignificant moments in my lifelong journey that, in retrospect, wove unique threads into my tapestry. The kindness she brought into work inspired my compassion, while her stories of struggling with ADHD in the workplace bolstered my empathy towards different experiences. Our conversations added blobs of a nonuniform bright color in my painting, binding a new perspective in me.

I added in my final strokes, each contributing an element to my piece. As I scanned my canvas, I observed these elements. Detail added nuance into smaller pictures; they embodied complexities within color, texture, and hue, each individually delivering a narrative. But together, they formed a piece of art— art that could be interpreted as a whole or broken apart but still delivering as a means of communication.

I find beauty in media because of this. I can adapt a complex narrative to be deliverable, each component telling a story. Appreciating these nuances — the light, dark, smooth, and rough — has cultivated my growth mindset. My life-long painting never finishes. It is ever-expanding, absorbing the novel textures and colors I encounter daily.

This essay is distinct from others due to its melodic, lyrical form. This is primarily achieved because the student’s form follows the movements of the paintbrush that they use to scaffold their essay. As readers, we simply flow through the essay, occasionally picking up bits of information about its creator. Without even realizing it, by the end of the essay, admissions officers will know that this student is a swimmer, was in Speech and Debate, is Indian, and has had multiple internships.

A major strength of this essay is the command of language that the student demonstrates. This essay was not simply written, it was crafted. Universities are, of course, interested in the talents, goals, and interests of applicants, but an essay being well-written can be equally important. Writing skills are important because your reader will not learn about your talents, goals, and interests if they aren’t engaged in your essay, but they are also important because admissions officers know that being able to articulate your thoughts is important for success in all future careers.

While this essay is well-written, there are a few moments where it falls out of the flow and feels more like a student advertising their successes. For example, the phrases “media intern at KBOO” and “autism research internship” work better on a resume than they do in this essay. Admissions officers have a copy of your resume and can check your internship experiences after reading your essay! If you are going to use a unique writing style or narrative form, lean into it; don’t try to hybridize it with the standard college essay form. Your boldness will be attractive to admissions officers.

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the conclusion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #2, example #1.

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here is a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful Common App essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

The only part of this essay that could use a bit of work is the introduction. A short introduction can be effective, but this short first paragraph feels thrown in at the last minute and like it is missing its second half. If you are keeping your introduction short, make it matter.

Prompt #2, Example #2

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This Common App essay is well-written. The student is showing the admissions officers their ability to articulate their points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery, the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates their family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feels perfectly justified after they establish that they were pondering their failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.

Prompt #2, Example #3

The muffled voices behind thin walls heralded trouble.

They were fighting about money.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened and it wasn’t going to be the last. It was one of those countless nights I had to spend curled up under the blanket while pretending to be asleep. My father had been unemployed for five years now, and my mother, a local kindergarten teacher, was struggling to support the family alone. Our situation was bleak: Savings had run out and my parents could no longer hide our lack of money from me. To make matters worse, I was a few weeks away from starting high school, which would inevitably lead to college, yet another financial stressor for my family.

The argument didn’t sound like it would end soon.

“Why did you spend money on that?” my mother said, with an elongated sigh.

“I had to,” my father said, decidedly.

Every fight over the years had left me in despair and the idea of going through another fight daunted me. I had looked forward to my teen years all my life, an age that allows, for the first time, more responsibility. Indeed, after this fateful night, after my fourteenth birthday, I felt a mounting responsibility to help my family, and started brainstorming.

Always being fascinated by computers, I spent my childhood burying myself under computer cabinets, experimenting with computer parts. Naturally, I wondered if my skills in this area might be marketable.

The next morning, my friend, Naba, mentioned that her computer wasn’t working. A tuk-tuk ride later, and I was at her doorstep, and her mother was leading me to her room. I was off to work: I began examining her computer, like a surgeon carefully manages his scalpels and tools. A proper diagnosis was not far from reach, as I realized a broken pin in her computer’s SATA slot. After an hour of work, and a short trip to the hardware store, I successfully fixed the computer. To my pleasant surprise, Naba’s mother drew out two fresh 500 Rupee notes. One covered the cost of the parts I bought and the other was a token of appreciation. Bidding her goodbye, I went straight back home and put one of the 500 Rupee notes inside my family’s “savings-jar.”

Later that day, I devised a plan. I told my friends to spread the word that I was available to fix computers. At first, I got only one or two calls per week. I would pick up the computer from my client’s home, fix it quickly, and return it, thus earning myself a commission. While I couldn’t market my services at a competitive price, because I wasn’t able to buy the parts wholesale, I compensated by providing convenience. All my clients had to do was call me once and the rest was taken care of. Thus, my business had the best customer service in town.

At the beginning of my junior year, after two years of expanding my business through various avenues, I started buying computer parts from hardware suppliers in bulk at a cheaper rate. My business grew exponentially after that. 

Before long, I was my town’s go-to tech person. In this journey throughout high school, I started realizing that I had to create my own opportunities and not just curl up under a blanket, seeking only comfort, as I used to. Interacting with people from all walks of life became my forte and a sense of work ethic developed in me. My business required me to be an all-rounder– have the technical skills, be an easily approachable person, and manage cash flow. Slowly becoming better at this, I even managed to sway admins of a local institution to outsource their computer hardware purchases and repairs through me. As my business upsized throughout the years, I went from being helpless to autonomous – the teenager I always aspired to be.

This essay truly feels like a story—almost making you forget you are reading a college essay. The student’s voice is strong throughout the entire essay and they are able to give us insight into their thoughts, feelings, and motivations at every step of the story. Letting the reader into personal challenges like financial struggles can be daunting in a college essay, but the way this student used that setback to establish an emotional ethos to their narrative was well done.

Because the essay is essentially just telling a story, there’s a very natural flow that makes it enjoyable and easy to read. The student establishes the conflict at the beginning, then describes their solution and how they implemented it, and finally concludes with the lessons they took away from this experience. Transitions at the beginning of paragraphs effortlessly show the passage of time and how the student has progressed through the story.

Another reason this essay is so successful is because of the abundance of details. The reader truly feels like they are hiding in the room with the student as their parents yell because of the inclusion of quotes from the argument. We understand the precision and care they have for fixing computers because of the allusion to a surgeon with their scalpel. Not only does this imagery make the story more enticing, it also helps the reader gain a deeper appreciation for the type of person this student is and the adversity they have overcome.

If there were one thing this essay could do to improve, it would be to include a resolution to the conflict from the beginning. The student tells us how this business helped them grow as a person, but we don’t ever get to find out if they were able to lessen the financial burden on their parents or if they continued to struggle despite the student working hard. It doesn’t have to be a happy ending, but it would be nice to return to the conflict and acknowledge the effect they had on it, especially since this prompt is all about facing challenges.

Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #3, example #1.

When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the other’s passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.

And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, “I do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.”

Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third “submission day,” – our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines – I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only others’ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkin’s pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.

By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.

I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity – me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind – and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.

This essay is cohesive as it centers around the theme of identity and the ability for two identities to coexist simultaneously (an interesting theme!). It uses the Full Circle ending strategy as it starts with a metaphor about food touching and ends with “I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.”

The main issue with this essay is that it could come off as cliché, which could be irritating for admissions officers. The story described is notably similar to High School Musical (“I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me”) and feels slightly overstated. 

At times, this essay is also confusing. In the first paragraph, it feels like the narrative is actually going to be about separating your food (and is somehow going to relate to the older brothers?). It is not entirely clear that this is a metaphor. Also, when the writer references the third submission day and then works backward to explain what a submission day is and that there are multiple throughout the semester, the timeline gets unnecessarily confusing. Reworking the way this paragraph unfolded would have been more compelling and less distracting.

Overall, this essay was interesting but could have been more polished to be more effective.

Prompt #3, Example #2

I walked into my middle school English class, and noticed a stranger behind my teacher’s desk. “Hello,” she said. “Today I will be your substitute teacher.” I groaned internally. “Let me start off by calling roll. Ally?” “Here!” exclaimed Ally. “Jack?” “Here.” “Rachel?” “Here.” “Freddie?” “Present.” And then– “…?” The awkward pause was my cue. “It’s Jasina,” I started. “You can just call me Jas. Here.” “Oh, Jasina. That’s unique.” The word “unique” made me cringe. I slumped back in my seat. The substitute continued calling roll, and class continued as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened. Just a typical moment in a middle school, but I hated every second of it.

My name is not impossible to pronounce. It appears challenging initially, but once you hear it, “Jas-een-a”, then you can manage it. My nickname, Jas (pronounced “Jazz”), is what most people call me anyway, so I don’t have to deal with mispronunciation often. I am thankful that my parents named me Jasina (a Hebrew name), but whenever someone hears my name for the first time, they comment, and I assume they’re making assumptions about me. “Wow, Jas is a cool name.” She must be pretty cool.“I’ve never heard the name Jasina before.” She must be from somewhere exotic. “Jas, like Jazz?” She must be musical and artsy. None of these assumptions are bad, but they all add up to the same thing: She must be unique. 

When I was little, these sentiments felt more like commands than assumptions. I thought I had to be the most unique child of all time, which was a daunting task, but I tried. I was the only kid in the second grade to color the sun red. I knew it was really yellow, but you could always tell which drawings were mine. During snack time, we could choose between apple juice and grape juice. I liked apple juice more, but if everyone else was choosing apple, then I had to choose grape. This was how I lived my life, and it was exhausting. I tried to continue this habit into middle school, but it backfired. When everyone became obsessed with things like skinny jeans and Justin Bieber and blue mascara (that was a weird trend), my resistance of the norm made me socially awkward. I couldn’t talk to people about anything because we had nothing in common. I was too different. 

After 8th grade, I moved to Georgia, and I was dreading being the odd one out among kids who had grown up together. Then I discovered that my freshman year would be Cambridge High School’s inaugural year. Since there were students coming in from 5 different schools, there was no real sense of “normal”. I panicked. If there was no normal, then how could I be unique? That’s when I realized that I had spent so much energy going against the grain that I had no idea what my true interests were or what I really cared about. 

It was time to find out. I stopped concentrating on what everyone else was doing and started to focus on myself. I joined the basketball team, I performed in the school musical, and I enrolled in Chorus, all of which were firsts for me. I took art classes, joined clubs, and did whatever I thought would make me happy. And it paid off. I was no longer socially awkward. In fact, because I was involved in so many unrelated activities, I was socially flexible. My friends and I had things in common, but there was no one who could say that I was exactly like anyone else. I had finally become my own person.

My father named me Jasina because he wanted my nickname to be “Jazz.” According to Webster, “jazz” is “music characterized by syncopated rhythms, improvisation, and deliberate distortions of pitch.” Basically, jazz is music that is off-beat and unpredictable. It cannot be strictly defined. 

That sounds about right. 

Right off the bat, this essay starts extremely strong. The description of attendance in a class with ample quotes, awkward pauses, and the student’s internal dialogue immediately puts us in the middle of the action and establishes a lot of sympathy for this student before we’ve learned anything else. 

The strength of this essay continues into the second paragraph where the use of quotes, italics, and interjections from the student continues. All of these literary tools help the student express her voice and allow the reader to understand what this student goes through on a daily basis. Rather than just telling the reader people make assumptions about her name, she shows us what these assumptions look and sound like, and exactly how they make her feel.

The essay further shows us how the student approached her name by providing concrete examples of times she’s been intentionally unique throughout her life. Describing her drawing red suns and choosing grape juice bring her personality to life and allow her to express her deviance from the “norm” in a much more engaging and visual way than simply telling the reader she would go against the grain to be different on purpose.

One part of the essay that was a bit weaker than the others was the paragraph about her in high school. Although it was still well written and did a nice job of demonstrating how she got involved in multiple groups to find her new identity, it lacked the same level of showing employed in previous paragraphs. It would have been nice to see what “socially flexible” means either through a conversation she had with her friends or an example of a time she combined her interests from different groups in a way that was uniquely her.

The essay finishes off how it started: extremely strong. Taking a step back to fully explain the origin of her name neatly brings together everything mentioned in this essay. This ending is especially successful because she never explicitly states that her personality aligns with the definition of jazz. Instead, she relies on the points she has made throughout the essay to stick in the reader’s memory so they are able to draw the connection themselves, making for a much more satisfying ending for the reader.

Prompt #4 (OLD PROMPT; NOT THE CURRENT PROMPT): Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

Prompt #4, example #1.

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” 

Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation. 

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one. 

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand. 

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself. 

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith. 

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities. 

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension. 

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities. 

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and a strong conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

The main weakness of this essay is that it is slightly confusing at times—how the other students found coaches feels unintentionally under-explained (a simple phrase like “through pleading and attracting sympathy” in the fourth paragraph could have served the writer well) and a dojang is never defined. Additionally, the turn of the essay or “volta” could’ve packed a bigger punch. It is put quite simply with “I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.” A more suspenseful reveal could’ve served the author well because more drama did come later.

Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #5, example #1.

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven!

Sometimes writing about adversity can feel exploitative or oddly braggy. This student backs up everything they say with anecdotes that prove and show their strength and resilience, rather than just claiming their strengths. When I read this essay, I want to cheer for its writer! And I want to be able to continue cheering for them (perhaps, if I were an admissions officer, that would make me want them at my school!).

Prompt #5, Example #2

Armed with a red pen, I slowly walked across the room to a small, isolated table with pink stools. Swinging her legs, my young student beamed and giggled at me, slamming her pencil bag on the table and bending over to pick up one of her toys. Natalie always brought some new toy with her to lessons—toys which I would sternly take away from her and place under the table until she finished her work. At the tutoring center where I work, a strict emphasis on discipline leaves no room for paper crowns or rubber chickens. 

Today, she had with her a large stuffed eagle from a museum. As she pulled out her papers, I slid the eagle to the other side of the table. She looked eagerly around, attempting to chat with other students as I impatiently called her attention to her papers. “I should name my eagle,” she chimed, waving her pencil in the air. I cringed—there was no wondering why Natalie always had to sit by herself. She was the antithesis of my academic values, and undoubtedly the greatest adversary of my teaching style.  

As the lesson progressed, Natalie became more fitful; she refused to release her feathered friend, and kept addressing the bird for help with difficult problems. We both grew increasingly more frustrated. Determined to tame this wryly, wiggling student, I stood my ground, set on converting this disobedient child to my calm, measured ways of study.  

As time slowly crept by, I noticed that despite Natalie’s cheerful tone and bright smile, the stuffed eagle was troublesomely quiet and stern-faced. Much like myself. Both the eagle and I were getting nowhere in this lesson—so we hatched a quick plan. Lifting the eagle up in the air, I started reading in my best impersonation of an eagle, squawking my way through a spelling packet. The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed. She sang out every letter, clapped her hands at every page, and followed along with the eagle, stopping at every few letters to declare that “E is for eagle” and pet her teacher fondly on the beak.  

Despite my ostensibly dissatisfied attitude toward my students, I did not join the tutoring center simply to earn money. I had always aspired to help others achieve their fullest potential. As a young adult, I felt that it was time for me to step out of the role of a pupil and into the influential role of a teacher, naively believing that I had the maturity and skill to adapt to any situation and help these students reach their highest achievements academically. For the most part, the role of a stern-faced, strict instructor helped me get by in the workplace, and while my students never truly looked happy, I felt that it was part of the process of conditioning a child to learn. 

Ironically, my transition to adulthood was the result of a stuffed animal. It was indisputable that I always had the skill to instruct others; the only thing needed to instruct someone is knowledge of the subject. However, it was only upon being introduced to a stuffed bird in which I realized that students receive the most help not from instructors, but teachers. While almost anyone can learn material and spit it back out for someone, it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens. From my young pupil and her little bird, I have undergone a change in attitude which reflects a growth in maturity and ability to improve the lives of others that I hope to implement in my future role as a student, activist, and physician. My newfound maturity taught me that the letter “e” stands for many things: empathy, experience, enthusiasm, and eagle.

In this essay, the student effectively explores their values (and how they learned them!) then identifies these values through a reflective conclusion. While the writer humbly recognizes the initial faults in their teaching style, they do not position their initial discipline or rigidity as mean or poorly intentioned—simply ineffective. This is important because, when you are discussing a transition like this, you don’t want admissions officers to think of you as having been a bad person. 

My favorite part about this essay is its subtlety. The major shift in the essay comes through the simple sentence “The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed.” The facts of this narrative are not too complicated. Simply put, the writer was strict then learned that it’s sometimes more effective not to be strict. The complexity of this narrative comes through reflection. Notably, through the ending, the student identifies their values (which they hadn’t given a name to before): “it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens.” 

The final sentence of this essay ties things up very nicely. Readers are left satisfied with the essay and convinced that its writer is a kind human with a large capacity for reflection and consideration. That is a great image to paint of yourself!

Prompt #5, Example #3

When it’s quiet, I can still hear the Friday night gossip and giggles of my friends. It’s a stark contrast from the environment I’ve known all my life, my home. My family has always been one to keep to themselves; introverts with a hard-working mentality—my father especially. He spent most of his time at work and growing up without him around, I came to be at peace with the fact that I’d probably never really get to know him. The thought didn’t bother me at the time because I felt that we were very different. He was stoic and traditional; I was trying to figure out who I was and explore my interests. His disapproval of the American music I listened to and my penchant for wearing hand-me-downs made me see him as someone who wanted to restrain my individuality. That explains why I relied heavily on my friends throughout middle and high school; they liked me for who I was. I figured I would get lonely without my friends during quarantine, but these last few months stuck at home gave me the time to make a new friend: my father. 

It was June. I had the habit of sleeping with my windows open so I wouldn’t need to set an alarm; the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the neighborhood children playing outside would wake me. One morning, however, it was not the chirping of birds or the laughter of children I awoke to, but the shrill of a saw. Through the window screen, on the grass below, my father stood cutting planks of wood. I was confused but didn’t question him—what he did with his time was none of my business. It was not until the next day, when I was attempting to work on a sculpture for an art class, that the sounds of hammering and drills became too much to ignore. Seeking answers, I trudged across my backyard towards the corner he was in. On that day, all there was to see was the foundation of what he was building; a shed. My intrigue was replaced with awe; I was impressed by the precision of his craft. Sharp corners, leveled and sturdy, I could imagine what it would look like when the walls were up and the inside filled with the tools he had spread around the yard. 

Throughout the week, when I was trying to finish my sculpture for art class—thinking about its shape and composition—I could not help but think of my father. Art has always been a creative outlet for me, an opportunity to express myself at home. For my dad, his craftsmanship was his art. I realized we were not as different as I had thought; he was an artist like me. My glue and paper were his wood and nails.

That summer, I tried to spend more time with my dad than I have in all my 18 years of life. Waking up earlier than usual so we could have our morning coffees together and pretending to like his favorite band so he’d talk to me about it, I took advantage of every opportunity I had to speak with him. In getting to know him, I’ve recognized that I get my artistry from him. 

Reflecting on past relationships, I feel I am now more open to reconnecting with people I’ve perhaps misjudged. In reconciling, I’ve realized I held some bitterness towards him all these years, and in letting that go, my heart is lighter. Our reunion has changed my perspective; instead of vilifying him for spending so much time at work, I can appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family. When I hear him tinkering away at another home project, I can smile and look forward to asking him about it later.

This is an outstanding example of the great things that can be articulated through a reflective essay. As we read the essay, we are simply thinking alongside its author—thinking about their past relationship with their father, about their time in quarantine, about aspects of themselves they think could use attention and growth. 

While we reflect, we are also centered by the student’s anecdote about the sculpture and the shed during quarantine. By centering us in real-time, the student keeps us engaged in the reflection.

The main strength here is the maturity we see on the part of its writer. The student doesn’t say “and I realized my father was the best dad in the world;” they say “and I realized my father didn’t have to be the best dad in the world for me to give him a chance.” Lots of students show themselves as motivated, curious, or compassionate in their college essays, but a reflective essay that ends with a discussion of resentment and forgiveness shows true maturity.

Prompt #5, Example #4

As a wide-eyed, naive seven-year-old, I watched my grandmother’s rough, wrinkled hands pull and knead mercilessly at white dough until the countertop was dusted in flour. She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain?

During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions. Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredient–my distinct voice. 

Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. Mantou can be flavored with pork and eggplant, sweetened in condensed milk, and moistened or dried by the steam’s temperature. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. In the same way the taste had been lost to me for years, my writer’s voice had struggled to shine through because of my self-doubt and fear of vulnerability.

As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the Brontё sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal. I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. I joined the school’s creative writing club and read my pieces in front of an audience, honing my voice into one that flourishes out loud as well.

Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation. I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world.

This essay is structurally-sound, with the student’s journey learning to savor mantou and their journey trying to find their voice serving as outstanding parallels. Additionally, as they describe the journey to find a voice in their writing, they definitely show off their voice! The clear introduction provides a great image and draws us in with an intriguing question. Additionally, their little inserts like “a strand of sweetness” and “falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had” work very well.

When the student describes their first published poem, however, their writing gets a little more stilted. This is a common error students make when writing about their achievements. If this student is writing about the craft that goes into writing, we should hear the details of the craft that went into the poem, instead of simply learning that they “opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum.” This is interesting information but would be stronger if it were supplemented by descriptions of the voice they created, comparisons to the styles of other poets, and analysis of their stylistic choices. This would make the essay feel more cohesive, centering entirely around concepts of voice and style.

Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Note: We don’t have a stellar example for this prompt, so instead, we’re sharing a couple examples that need improvement, and what can be done to make the essays more engaging. 

Prompt #6, Example #1

What factors shape the depth and allure of a literary character? This is the exact question I asked myself as my eyes riveted on the white pages covered with little black letters.

I was reading my old novels. I’ve written three novels and many short stories. Each of them repetitively portrayed the hero as intelligent and funny, and the antagonists as cold and manipulative. I came to the appalling realization that my characters were flat, neither exciting nor original. They just didn’t stand out! 

As Oscar Wilde said, ‘Vice and virtue are to the artist material to an art.’ Their mixing makes a novel addictive because its plot is rich with turnarounds and its characters more engaging. In his famous work The Picture of Dorian Gray , Wilde deconstructs the psyche of his characters. He brilliantly plays with the protagonist’s youthful appearance and the decaying portrait to build a truly unique idiosyncratic identity. The persona of Dorian Gray is so complicated a psychologist could analyze it for hours on end!

Inspired by this character, It was my turn to explore good and evil into characters to make my stories more enthralling. I skillfully played with vice and virtue, separating, merging them… My latest novel is the fruit of this exercise. I chose to set it in 20th century London. Its opium dens and exclusive salons; middle-class workers, peasants and politicians breathed the same newly industrialized air; modernity in Blackfriars bridge and tradition in St Paul’s Cathedral; all of these contrasts set the perfect environment for my characters to grow. Following Laclos’ Valmont, Maupassant’s Georges Duroy and Duffy’s Myra Hindley, I played with those contrasts to present an intricate character, truly creative – unlike my previous ones. Insanity, religion, depravity and love are merged into each character, reflecting Edwardian London. As I reflected on my work, I realized vice and virtue altogether made them more human and credible. These characters stood out, they were interesting, I even wanted to know more about them! 

After rewriting, erasing, typing, and thinking countless times, I realized writing is a unique exercise. Nothing is definite when you are holding a fountain pen, hearing its screeching sound on the white paper and watching the ebony ink forming letters. When I wasn’t too happy about a change I made in my story, I simply erased and rewrote it. Everything I imagined could happen: white pages are the only place the mouse eats the cat or the world is taken by a zombie attack! 

This exact exercise of diversifying my characters satisfied my relentless curiosity. Asking myself ‘how could this character be if she had lost her parents in a maritime tragedy?’ allowed me to view the world from different perspectives (some very dissimilar to my own) and considering how each character would react to different situations brought them to life. As I was writing, I was aiming to change the usual narratives I had previously traversed. I loved experimenting with countless personality traits in my characters – minutes flowing, my hand dancing on the paper as my mind was singing words coming alive….

There were times where my hand just stopped writing and my mind stopped raging. I tried thinking differently, changing a character’s background, the story, the setting. I was inspired by Zola, A.Carter, Fitzgerald, the Brontë sisters… I could observe the different reactions of their characters, and reflect on mine theoretically. But it was only part one of the work: I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically, always leading to fresh ideas – I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting. Both theory and practice are required to gain intellectual independence and experience, in writing and more globally: before I can change a character, I have to understand it. Before we can change the world, we have to understand it.

The main strength of this essay is the authenticity of the topic the student chose. They aren’t making anything up or stretching the truth. Writing is something that captivates them, and that captivation shines through—particularly through their fourth paragraph (where they geek out over specific plots and characters) and their fifth paragraph (where they joyfully describe how writing has no limitations). Admissions officers want to see this passion and intensity in applicants! The fact that this student has already written three novels also shows dedication and is impressive.

The main weakness of this essay is its structure. Ironically, it is not super captivating. The essay would have been more compelling if the student utilized a “anecdote – answer – reflection” structure. This student’s current introduction involves a reflective question, citations about their past writing experience, then their thoughts on Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. Instead, this student could’ve provided one cohesive (and powerful!) image of them being frustrated with their own writing then being inspired by Dorian Gray. This would look something like:

“I stayed up three nights in a row studying my own writing—bored by my own writing. The only thing more painful than seeing failure in the fruits of your labor is not seeing a path for improvement. I had written three novels and numerous short stories, and all I could come up with was funny and intelligent heroes going up against cold and manipulative villains. What kind of writer was so consistently cliche? On the third night, I wandered over to my bookshelf. Mrs. Dalloway caught my eye (it has such a beautiful cover). I flipped through. Then, I grabbed Giovanni’s Room . I was so obsessed with my shortcomings that I couldn’t even focus long enough to see what these authors were doing right. I picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray and decided to just start reading. By the end of the night, I was captivated.”

An introduction like this would flow nicely into the student describing their experience with Dorian Gray then, because of that experience, describing how they have altered their approach to writing. The conclusion of this essay would then be this student’s time for reflection. Instead of repeating content about their passion—“I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically” and “I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting”—, the student could dedicate their conclusion to reflecting on the reasons that writing is so captivating or the ways that (until the day they die) writers will always be perfecting their craft.

This essay is a great example of how important it is to pick a topic that truly excites you. It also illustrates how important it is to effectively structure that excitement.

Prompt #6, Example #2

Astonished by the crashing sound of waves in my ear, I was convinced this magical shell actually held the sound of the big blue sea — my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop . It distinctly reminded me of the awestruck feeling I had when I witnessed the churning waves of a windy night by the ocean the previous weekend; I lost track of time gazing at the distant moonlit border dividing our world from the ever-growing black void. Turning to my mom, I inquired curiously, “Can we go to the place where the water ends one day?”

She explained to me I could never reach the end of the ocean because the harsh line I had seen was actually an illusion called the horizon —  there was no material end to the ocean. For a mind as young as mine was, the idea of infinity was incomprehensible. As my infatuation with the ocean continued to grow, I finally understood that regardless of how far I travel, the horizon is unattainable because it’s not a physical limit. This idea is why the ocean captivates me — no matter how much you discover, there is always more to explore. 

Learning about and exploring the ocean provided an escape from one reality into another; though we are on the same planet, it’s an entirely separate world. Through elementary and middle school, I devoted vast amounts of my free time to learning about simpler concepts like a dolphin’s ability to echolocate and coral reef ecosystems. I rented countless documentaries and constantly checked out books from my local library — my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.” This episode remained memorable because it was centered around the impacts of fossil fuels on marine animals; it was the first time I’d learned about the impending crisis we are faced with due to the human mistreatment of our planet.

Prior to viewing that episode, I relied on the ocean as an outlet — I fueled all of my emotions into studying marine organisms. Once I learned of its grave future, I delved into the world of environmental activism. This path was much more disheartening than studying echolocation — inevitable death due to climate change took a toll on my mental health. I attended two climate strikes in November of my sophomore year. Following the strikes, I joined Sunrise Movement Sacramento, a youth-led climate justice organization advocating for the Green New Deal. While analyzing legislation and organizing protests were significant takeaways from my experience with climate activism, they were not the most important. I became an organizer because of my love for the ocean and I remain an organizer because of my passion for dissolving the disproportionalities marginalized groups face due to the sacrificing of people’s livelihood for the sake of profit. The more I learned about our modern society, the more hopeless I grew that I could see any significant change within my lifetime.

However, this hopelessness comes in waves; every day, I remind myself of the moment I discovered the horizon. Or the moment I first dove into the beautiful waters of the Hawaiian coast and immediately was surrounded by breathtaking seas of magnificent creatures and coral gardens — life felt ethereal and beautiful. I remind myself that like the ocean, the vast majority of the universe has yet to be discovered; that distant border holds infinite opportunity to learn. In a universe as vast as ours, and life as rare as ours, individuals still choose to prioritize avarice over our planet. Despite this grave individualism, the ocean reminds me every day there is hope in the fight for a better world. Though I will never discover every inch of the ocean’s floor, I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.

Sometimes the path to a great essay is taking something normal and using it to show admissions officers who you are and what you value—that is precisely this student’s approach! Finding the ocean fascinating is not unique to this student. Tons of kids (and adults, too!) are obsessed with the ocean. What this student does is take things a step further as they explain their curiosity about the ocean in relation to their pain about the destruction of the environment. This capacity for reflection is great!

This student shows a good control of language through their thematic centering on ocean and horizons that carries through their essay—with ”this hopelessness comes in waves” and “I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.” The details provided throughout are also effective at keeping readers engaged—things like “ my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop” and “ my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.”

The main weakness of this essay is the lack of reflection when the student discusses environmental activism. There’s reflection on the student’s connection to the ocean and horizons at the beginning and at the end, but when the student discusses activism, the tone shifts from focusing on their internal thoughts to their external actions. Remember, a lot of students write about environmental activism, but not a lot of students write about an emotional connection to the ocean as an impetus for environmental activism. This student would stand out more to admissions officers if they had dug into questions of what the ocean means to them (and says about them) in the paragraphs beginning “Learning about and exploring the ocean…” and “Prior to viewing that episode.”

Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Prompt #7, example #1.

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due. 

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me. 

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror. 

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).  

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day). 

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control. 

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.

This essay is relatable yet personal! The writer makes themself supremely human through discussing the universal subject of showering. That being said, an essay about showering could easily turn boring while still being relatable. This writer keeps its relatable moments interesting and fun through vivid descriptions of common feelings including “causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely” and “the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.”

While describing a universal feeling, this student also cleverly and intentionally mentions small facts about their life through simple phrases like “I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me” and “the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me.” To put it simply, though we are talking about a shower, we learn about so much more!

And, at the end, the student lets us know that that is exactly why they love showers. Showers are more than meets the eye! With this insightful and reflective ending (“the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy”), readers learn about this student’s capacity for reflection, which is an important capacity as you enter college.

The one major error that this writer commits is that of using a trite transition. The inclusion of “Honestly though” at the beginning of this student’s ending detracts from what they are trying to say and sticks out in their writing.

Prompt #7, Example #2

Steam whooshed from the pot as I unveiled my newest creation: duck-peppercorn-chestnut dumplings. The spicy, hearty aroma swirled into the kitchen, mingling with the smell of fresh dough. Grinning, I grabbed a plump dumpling with chopsticks, blew carefully, and fed it into the waiting mouth of my little sister. Her eyes widening, she vigorously nodded and held up five stubby fingers. I did a little happy dance in celebration and pulled my notebook out of my apron pocket. Duck-peppercorn-chestnut: five stars.

In my household, dumplings are a far cry from the classic pork and cabbage. Our menu boasts everything from the savory lamb-bamboo shoot-watercress to the sweet and crispy apple-cinnamon-date. A few years ago, my sister claimed she was sick of eating the same flavors over and over. Refusing to let her disavow our family staple, I took her complaint as a challenge to make the tastiest and most unconventional dumplings to satisfy her. With her as my taste tester and Mum in charge of dough, I spent months experimenting with dozens of odd ingredient combinations. 

During those days spent covered in flour, my dumplings often reminded me of myself—a hybrid of ingredients that don’t usually go together. I am the product of three distinct worlds: the suburbs of Boston, the rural Chinese village of [location removed], and the coastal city of [location removed]. At school, I am both the STEM nerd with lightning-fast mental math and the artistic plant mom obsessed with funky earrings. I love all that is elegant, from Chinese calligraphy to the rolling notes of the Gourd flute, yet I can be very not elegant, like when my sister and I make homemade slime. When I’m on the streets, marching for women’s rights and climate action, I’m loud, bellowing from the bottom of my gut. In the painting studio, though, I don’t speak unless spoken to, and hours can slip by like minutes. I’m loud and quiet. Elegant and messy. Nerdy and artistic. Suburban, rustic, and metropolitan.

While I’m full of odd combinations, they are only seemingly contradictory. Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper, different facets of my identity also converge. After my tenth-grade summer, when I spent six weeks studying design at art school and another three researching the brain at Harvard Med, I began asking myself: What if I mixed art and neuroscience together? That fall, I collaborated with my school’s art museum for an independent research project, exploring two questions: How are aesthetic experiences processed in the brain? And how can neuroscience help museums design exhibits that maximize visitor engagement? I combed through studies with results from tightly controlled experiments, and I spent days gathering my own qualitative data by observing museum visitors and asking them questions. With the help of my artistic skills, I could identify the visual and spatial elements of the exhibits that best held visitors’ attention. 

By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am—art and neuroscience—I realized I shouldn’t see the different sides of myself as separate. I learned to instead seek the intersections between aspects of my identity. Since then, I have mixed art with activism to voice my opinions nonverbally, created Spotify playlists with both Chinese and western pop, and written flute compositions using music theory and math. In the future, by continuing to combine my interests, I want to find my niche in the world. I can make a positive impact on society without having to choose just one passion. As of now, my dream is to be a neuroscientist who designs art therapy treatments for mental health patients. Who knows though? Maybe my calling is to be a dim sum chef who teaches pottery on the side. I don’t know where I’ll go, but one thing’s for sure—being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.

This essay is outstanding because the student seems likable and authentic. With the first image of the student’s little sister vigorously nodding and holding up “five stubby fingers,” we find ourselves intrigued by the student’s daily life. They additionally show the importance of family, culture, and creativity in their life—these are great things to highlight in your essay!

After the introduction, the student uses their weird dumpling anecdote to transition to a discussion of their unique intersections. This is achieved smoothly because weirdness/uniqueness is the focus of both of these topics. Additionally, the comparison is not awkward because dumplings are used as more than just a transition, but rather are the through-line of the essay—the student weaves in little phrases like “Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper,” “By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am,” and “being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.” This gives the essay its cohesive feel.

Authenticity comes through in this essay as the student recognizes that they don’t know what the future holds. They just know what kind of a person they are—a passionate one! 

One change that would improve this student’s essay would be focusing on fewer intersections in their third and last paragraph. The student mentions STEM, music, family activities, activism, and painting, which makes it feel like a distraction in middle of the essay. Focus on the most important things you want to show admissions officers—you can sit at intersections, but you can’t be interested in everything.

Prompt #7, Example #3

“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. 

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach. 

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed. 

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. 

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel! 

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness. 

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Prompt #7, Example #4

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Prompt #7, Example #5

“We’re ready for take-off!” 

The tires hit the tarmac and began to accelerate, and I just realized what I had signed up for. For 24 hours straight, I strapped myself into a broken-down SUV whereas others chose the luxury of soaring through the skies for a mere two hours. Especially with my motion sickness and driving anxiety, I would call myself crazy too.

To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.

The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in God’s voicemail box. 

All of a sudden, I noticed brightly colored rocks in the distance, ones I had been dying to see for years. Their fluorescence popped amongst the magnificent winding hills as the sunset became romantic in hue. The desert glistened with mirages of deep blue water unlike anything I had ever seen. Nevada was home, but home always seemed to be just desert and casinos. For once, I looked forward to endless desert outside my window rather than a sea of clouds.

I never realized how little I discovered of the world beyond home. For years I complained about how there was nothing to do or discover outside. Not once did I set out to prove myself wrong. Instead, I chose a daily routine of homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV. However, as summer vacation ended, I decided to set my stubbornness aside and finally give this drive back home a chance. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my favorite trip of all time. 

As we drove along, the world chose to prove me wrong when I discovered Heaven on Earth along Shasta Lake. I stood out of the sunroof, surrounded by lush green mountains and fog. I extended my arms out and felt a sense of flight that no plane could ever take me on. As the water vapor kissed my face, I floated into a dreamland I never wanted to leave. I didn’t have to go to great lengths to discover the beauty of the world; it was right in front of me.  From this moment on, comfort and convenience would no longer be my best friends. Rather than only looking for famous travel destinations or following carefully mapped-out routes, I would let curiosity lead the way. 

Since then, my daily life has been anything but routine. I’m proud to boast of my family’s homemade kombucha attempts, of flights purchased and taken in one day, and of a home flooded with knick-knacks from thrifting trips. Every day I set out to try something new, see a different perspective, and go beyond normal. Whether it is by trying a new recipe using taro, making a risky fashion choice with wide-legged pants, or listening to a new music genre in Spanish, I always act with curiosity first.

Over the years, I have devoted my time towards learning Swedish, building computers, and swimming. Although my accent is horrid, some computers almost broke, and even a starfish would outswim me, I continue to enjoy activities I once criticized. For me, there is no enjoyment without some risk. Nobody I know is a kazoo-playing, boogie-board loving, boba connoisseur like me.

This essay is an Overcoming Challenges story that centers around a single anecdote. The structure works nicely as the student describes what they were like before their road trip, what happened on the road trip, and what they were like after. 

The most major improvement that this essay needs is better-communicated authenticity. At the beginning, it feels a bit gimmicky. The student describes their preparedness, particularly the fact that they always carry a first aid kit, and it’s not super believable. Then, when they write “Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator?” it feels like we are in a sitcom and the student is that funny obsessive kid. Sitcom characters don’t feel real and you want to make yourself appear profoundly real.

On a similar note, the narrative arc of this essay isn’t entirely believable. The student describes a large personality and value shift but doesn’t describe any struggles that accompany the shift. A quick shift like that is far from easy. On the other hand, if the immediacy of the shift was easy, they could write about moments after their shift in mindset when they have felt troubled by residual desires to stay in their comfort zone, instead of writing “I always act with curiosity first.”

The greatest strength of this essay is the paragraphs beginning “I never realized how little…” and “As we drove along…” The fixation on comfort seems much more believable when it involves “homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV.” The descriptions of the drive provide beautiful, evocative imagery. And it’s topped off with some nice reflection! Digging into this great portion of the essay would make this an even stronger essay!

Want to see more examples? Check out this post with 16 strong essay examples from top schools , including common supplemental essay questions.

At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. That’s more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

That’s why it’s vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.

Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. It’s even better if that person doesn’t know you personally, as they can best tell whether your personality shines through your essay. 

That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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How to Write a Great 250-Word Essay

David Dec 14, 2017

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In college, there are many instances where you may be required to write a 250-word essay – your application, exam questions, small writing prompts, etc. A 250-word limit may seem like a novel to some, but others find it difficult to get their point across with so few words. In this guide, we will look at a 250-word essay example, along with tips on how to write a great 250-word essay.   Bonus: Need to write a longer essay? See this guide on how to write a 500-word essay

The Basic Format of a 250-Word Essay

All essays consist of the same three parts: an introduction with a thesis, a body paragraph or body paragraphs that support the thesis, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes the overall essay.

In 250 words, you will most likely have 3-4 paragraphs in total, each with 50-100 words. This will allow for 3-5 concise but detailed sentences per paragraph.

A Step-by-Step 250-Word Essay Example

To help visualize this process, let’s go ahead and write a simple 250-word essay.  You’ll see our writing sample in green and our explanation of what we did (and what can be done) with each section in normal text.

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Without further ado, let’s get started on our essay!

TOPIC:  How has your family upbringing influenced your educational goals?

Step 1 – Write Your Thesis

Your thesis is the first thing you should consider in your essay. Simply put, it’s the main idea of your essay that will control everything else you write. If you could summarize the question in just one sentence, how would you do it?

For our topic   How has your family upbringing influenced your educational goals?  our thesis will be:

My parents saw little value in a formal education. It was their lack of passion that led me to my educational goals.

Step 2 – Write Your Introduction

In the introduction, the first sentence can be a broad or general statement that sets the tone for the piece. It is usually supported by a second sentence that leads into the thesis. The optional third sentence may pose a question that the thesis aims to answer, or it may prompt the reader to think about the topic in a different light. The final sentence of the intro paragraph clearly establishes the thesis.

As a general rule of thumb, the introduction should go from broad to specific, sentence by sentence, gradually leading up to your thesis. Here’s a sample example of an introductory paragraph.

Parents are supposed to push you past your goals, or at least, that’s what I always believed. I was raised in the generation of “you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” My parents did not follow that philosophy, and they saw little value in a formal education. It was their lack of passion that led me to my educational goals.

Word count:  Introductory paragraph, 64 words.

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Step 3 – Write The Body Paragraph(s)

Next, we’ll continue with the body paragraph. Remember, body paragraphs should support the thesis and be about 3-5 sentences or 50-100 words long. In a short essay you may opt for only one body paragraph but in a longer one you may need more.

So how should your body paragraphs support your thesis? Think of each body paragraph as an argument that supports it.

Working with our thesis   “My parents never saw the value of formal education and that’s what lead me to my educational goals” , then each paragraph could be about   how not seeing the value of formal education led to the writer pursuing it.

For example, maybe the writer didn’t want to end up in the same work as their parents. Or maybe it was the parents’ lack of belief in the writer that pushed them to pursue a better future.

Let’s have a look at what a body paragraph can look like for our 250 word essay.

From as far back as I can remember, I knew I didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of my parents, at least not when it came to work. My father had worked on the family farm all his life and my mother had been a housewife since graduation. They were both content with the simplicity of their lives and wanted the same for me. I remember my father telling me that college was “expensive and a waste of four years”.  I knew however, that I wanted a career in the city that would be more challenging than simple farm life could provide. The only way to make that possible would be through formal education and a college degree. 

Word count:  Body paragraph 119 words. Total essay is now 181 words.

Step 4 – Summarize with a Conclusion

The final paragraph is the conclusion. You may start this paragraph with “To summarize,” “As evident by X, Y, and Z,”  or a similar statement that highlights the biggest points in your essay. Use the conclusion paragraph to sum up the main point of your essay using different words. The last sentence can be something broad that leaves the reader wondering. Let’s see how we can write a conclusion for our sample essay.

While my parents may not understand the value of formal education, I know it is essential for my future. This has helped me immensely, by making me realize that without strong parental support, I’m the only one who’s responsible for my own goals. In a way this has been the strongest source of motivation. And for that, I am forever grateful.  

Notice how we summarize the main point of the essay in the first sentence. We then connect the first sentence to the a conclusion we arrive at. Finally we end in an optimistic tone by stating how this has been helpful and we are grateful. Unlike the introduction paragraph, which flows from broad sentences to specific, a conclusion generally flows the opposite way, from specific sentences to broader concepts.

Word count: Concluding paragraph 61 words. Total essay is now 242 words. 

Sure, we came up 8 words short. But being that close should not be considered an issue. If for some reason you are required to write 250 words minimum, you can make the essay longer by sprinkling in a few extra words.

The Entire 250-word Essay  Altogether

Parents are supposed to push you past your goals, or at least, that’s what I always believed. I was raised in the generation of “you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” My parents did not follow that philosophy, and they saw little value in a formal education. It was their lack of passion that led me to my educational goals. From as far back as I can remember, I knew I didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of my parents, at least not when it came to work. My father had worked on the family farm all his life and my mother had been a housewife since graduation. They were both content with the simplicity of their lives and wanted the same for me. I remember my father telling me that college was “expensive and a waste of four years”.  I knew however, that I wanted a career in the city that would be more challenging than simple farm life could provide. The only way to make that possible would be through formal education and a college degree.  While my parents may not understand the value of formal education, I know it is essential for my future. This has helped me immensely by making me realize that without strong parental support, I’m the only one who’s responsible for my own goals. In a way this has been the strongest source of motivation. And for that, I am forever grateful.  

Should I Write More Than 250 Words or Less Than 250 Words?

When a professor or college entry application asks for a “250 word essay,” 250 words is generally a rough guide. No one is going to fail you if you go over or under the limit by a few words. We’d say a good gauge is plus or minus 50 words. As a general rule of thumb though, try to stay as close to 250 words as possible without going too far over or under.

Essay Writing Tips

Here are some quick tips for writing a great 250-word essay:

• Write the first draft from start to finish without any pauses. This will make the writing sound fluid, and you can make adjustments after that.
• Avoid over-editing your work. Ideally, you should take a long pause between editing sessions so you can clear your head and come back with a fresh perspective.
• Try not to think about the word count too much. Once you get in the habit of writing four 3-5 sentence paragraphs, you’ll find your words naturally get close to 250.
• Don’t throw fluff sentences in your essay. Professors see right through those. Instead, think of an additional sentence to enhance the support in your body paragraphs.
• If you feel like you have concisely and sufficiently answered the question below the word count, trust your gut. Most instructors will value quality over quantity.

The more 250-word essays you write, the easier they will become. Feel free to practice with free essay prompts online to train your brain to write with this rhythm. You’ll soon be able to whip out 250 words without checking your word count!

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David Tabachnikov is the CEO of ScholarshipOwl. Formerly at Waze and Google, David is an experienced CTO/R&D manager with over 10 years of experience of leading tech teams. David fervently believes that students should have greater access to education, and is passionate about using technology to help them achieve that goal.

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Amelia Earhart Personality

This essay about Amelia Earhart’s childhood explores the formative experiences that shaped the pioneering aviator’s character and ambitions. Born into a household that valued independence and defied traditional gender roles, Earhart, known as “Meeley,” demonstrated an adventurous spirit and resilience from an early age. Despite the instability caused by her father’s employment and alcoholism issues, Earhart’s education and development were prioritized, fostering her innate curiosity and adaptability. A pivotal moment in her youth was her indifferent first encounter with an aircraft at the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair, which contrasted sharply with the exhilaration she felt witnessing a stunt-flying exhibition years later, awakening her passion for aviation. The essay highlights how Earhart’s nurturing environment, combined with personal challenges and key experiences, ignited her interest in flying and set the foundation for her legendary career in aviation and her role as an inspiration to women aspiring to break barriers.

How it works

Amelia Earhart’s formative years were a mosaic of encounters and influences that sculpted her into the pioneering aviatrix and enduring emblem of bravery and exploration she is commemorated as today. Born on July 24, 1897, in Atchison, Kansas, Earhart’s nascent existence bore the imprint of an independent spirit and a proclivity for challenging the traditional gender roles prescribed to women in her epoch.

Since her early days, Amelia, affectionately dubbed “Meeley” by her kin, displayed an adventurous disposition and a defiance against conforming to the societal expectations of femininity prevailing at the time.

Nurtured in a household alongside her younger sibling, Muriel, Amelia found encouragement from their mother, Amy Otis Earhart, who advocated against confining her daughters within societal confines. This nurturing atmosphere granted Amelia the liberty to explore her inclinations, from entomology to arboreal escapades and participation in pursuits conventionally reserved for males during her youth.

The trajectory of Earhart’s education played a pivotal role in her maturation. Her scholastic journey traversed various institutions owing to her family’s frequent relocations, prompted by her father’s struggles with alcoholism and his intermittent employability. Despite the turbulence these circumstances wrought upon her life, they also imbued Earhart with a tenacity and adaptability that would emerge as defining traits of her character. Despite the financial constraints plaguing the family, Amelia’s mother safeguarded her educational pursuits, instilling in her a fervor for knowledge and a probing intellect.

A seminal juncture in Earhart’s juvenile years materialized during a sojourn to the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair, where she encountered her inaugural aircraft. Though this encounter failed to immediately kindle her ardor for aviation—it registered as a rather unremarkable incident at the time—it sowed the seeds for her subsequent fascination with flight. It was not until a decade later, at a daredevil airshow, that Earhart’s passion for aviation was genuinely ignited. As a plane careened past in a daring maneuver, she was seized by a surge of exhilaration that propelled her onto the trajectory of becoming one of history’s most celebrated aviators.

Amelia Earhart’s juvenile years were characterized by a nurturing milieu that prized autonomy and erudition, adversities that fortified her resilience, and pivotal episodes that ignited her passion for aviation. These components coalesced to mold a woman who shattered numerous records, defied gender stereotypes, and galvanized generations of women to pursue their aspirations, irrespective of societal constraints. Her formative years stand as a testament to the proposition that a spirit of exploration and a resolve to carve one’s own path can yield extraordinary accomplishments.

In summation, Amelia Earhart’s nascent experiences were pivotal in shaping the persona she would ultimately embody. The support of her family, coupled with the personal trials she confronted, engendered a plucky and venturesome spirit. Earhart’s juvenile escapades, from her tomboyish antics to the watershed moments that beckoned her to aviation, underscore the significance of milieu, education, and early passions in charting one’s trajectory in life. Through her narrative, we are reminded of the potency of nurturing a spirit of inquisitiveness and valor in the face of societal strictures, lessons as pertinent today as they were in the early 20th century.

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