a funny crime story essay

Chris from Monster Complex

13 Authors Who Write Funny Crime Fiction

Death is no laughing matter. unless you're reading one of these books.

Here’s a classic post that originally went live back on my original Thrill of It All blog back in 2013. (It has been revised, don’t worry.)

From the modern Knives Out movies and classic Thin Man movie series to TV shows like Monk and Psych , we have seen that mysteries don’t have to be depressing. This post, I’m sharing a list of authors who often find the funny side of crime fiction, suspense and mysteries.

This current list includes authors Gregory McDonald , Elmore Leonard , M.C. Beaton , Christopher Fowler , Donald Westlake , Rex Stout , Janet Evanovich, Robert B. Parker , Carl Hiaasen , and Lawrence Block . To freshen up the list, I’ve also added a few more recent authors who come with high recommendations—including Elle Cosimano , Donna Andrews , and Lee Goldberg .

Who would YOU add to this list? Let me know in the comments below!

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Gregory Mcdonald (1937-2008)

Former journalist and mystery writer Gregory Mcdonald is best remembered for writing the Fletch mysteries —featuring wisecracking investigate reporter Irwin Maurice Fletcher (i.e., “Fletch”). The character made his literary debut in the 1974 novel Fletch , which won an Edgar Award (“Best First Novel”) from the Mystery Writers of America.

In fact, the 1976 sequel, Confess, Fletch , also won an Edgar Award (“Best Paperback Original”). This was the first time (is it still the only time?) that a novel and its sequel won back-to-back Edgar Awards.

Although the subsequent books in the Fletch (and Son of Fletch) series varied in quality, the original two novels are wonderful—and hilarious. The prequel novel Fletch Won is also pretty great.

And, of course, there have been three noteworthy movies about Fletch. These include the 1985 movie Fletch (based on the original novel), starring Chevy Chase as the title character. Chase also starred in the 1989 sequel Fletch Lives, which was not based on any of the books—although, to be honest, I liked it a lot. (More than some of the other books, in fact.)

The 2022 movie Confess, Fletch was based on Mcdonald’s 1976 novel of the same name. This one starred Jon Hamm as Fletch, and followed the book very faithfully.

By the way, the original book Confess, Fletch introduced the brilliant but eccentric Inspector Francis Xavier Flynn. He went on to star in his own series of funny mysteries .

Find Gregory Macdonald novels on Amazon

Find the Fletch movies on Amazon

Final complaint: If you look at the Fletch DVDs, one of the designers clearly had NO IDEA what the movies were about. Just sayin’.

Elmore Leonard (1925-2013)

Crime writer Elmore Leonard wrote many distinctive crime novels, several of which have been adapted to the movies and TV. Novels that led to adaptations have included Get Shorty , Out of Sight , and Rum Punch (made into the movie Jackie Brown ).

Leonard was a novelist, short story writer, and screenwriter. His earliest novels, in the 1950s, were Westerns. But he soon moved on to crime fiction and suspense fiction (some of which seems an awful lot like modern-day Westerns).

He was a master of creating quirky characters and snappy dialogue. In fact, several of Leonard’s memorable characters have found their way to the screen: Justified ‘s U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens (introduced in the novel Pronto ), Chili Palmer ( Get Shorty and Be Cool ), U.S. Marshal Karen Sisco ( Out of Sight ), and Ordell Robbie and Louis Gara ( The Switch ).

Find Elmore Leonard books on Amazon

M.C. Beaton (1936-2019)

Prolific author Marion Chesney , under the name of M. C. Beaton, wrote mysteries—including the detectives stories starring Hamish Macbeth, a police constable in the fictional village of Lochdubh, found in the Scottish Highlands. He made his debut in the 1985 novel Death of a Gossip .

Although Hamish is generally considered to be lazy, he often finds himself embroiled in solving one crime or another—and working at odds with his superiors to get to to the truth. There are three-dozen novels in the series.

Hamish Macbeth was loosely adapted into a TV series. Although the show is quite different from the books, it has its own quirky charm and is also worth checking out.

Find Hamish Macbeth books on Amazon

Find Hamish Macbeth TV show on Amazon

Christopher Fowler (1953-2023)

British thriller writer Christopher Fowler wrote numerous horror, satire, and crime novels. His most famous creation would be the Peculiar Crimes Unit mysteries starring crotchedy old investigators Arthur Bryant and John May. They made their debut in Full Dark House: A Peculiar Crimes Unit Mystery .

Their team is responsible for solving seemingly impossible crimes. However their, well, unusual investigative techniques often put them at odds with the more traditional police and their government superiors.

Donald Westlake (1933-2008)

With more than a hundred books—written under more than a dozen pen names—to his credit, Donald Westlake wrote a great deal of crime fiction, with the occasional side trip into other genres. The three-time Edgar Award winner wrote a series of caper novels starring career criminal John Dortmunder.

The character practically came about by accident: Westlake was writing the next installment of his Parker series—which he wrote under the pen name Richard Stark—but the novel started to get too, well, zany . Westlake decided the whole thing was too funny to work for Parker.

As such, he rewrote the novel with a cast of bumbling but likable robbers. That original novel, The Hot Rock (1970) , led to a series of novels and short stories starring hard-luck professional thief Dortumunder. The Hot Rock was adapted into a 1972 caper comedy starring Robert Redford and George Segal . It’s a funny movie, yet somehow not quite as over-the-top as the source material.

P.S.—By the way, I love the Parker books , too. But those are crime caper books that are very serious.

Find the Dortmunder novels on Amazon

Rex Stout (1886-1975)

A novelist and pulp writer, Rex Stout (1886-1975) is most remembered today as the creator of the Nero Wolfe Mysteries , starting with 1934′s Fer-de-Lance . Wolfe is an armchair detective from the Golden Age school of mysteries, while his assistant, Archie Goodwin, is a two-fisted detective from the school of pulp fiction.

Their dueling points of view on each case—retold through the sardonic lens of Goodwin’s narration—was a driving force behind the series longtime popularity. The series was nominated Best Mystery Series of the Century, and the author nominated Best Mystery Writer of the Century. The series has also been adapted a nunber of times in different formats.

When the novels were republished in new editions a few years ago, a who’s who among mystery writers stepped up to write all-new introductions, including Robert B. Parker , Lawrence Block , and Walter Mosley .

Find Nero Wolfe Mysteries on Amazon

Janet Evanovich

Starting out as a romance writer, Janet Evanovich really hit her stride with the creation of Stephanie Plum , a New Jersey girl who loses her job as a lingerie buyer…and becomes a bounty hunter to make ends meet. Kicking off with One for the Money (1994), the series feature adventures and romance in equal measure, with a large supporting cast that includes Stephanie’s family, co-workers, and the members of the community where she grew up.

Said to be a “spunky combination of Nancy Drew and Dirty Harry,” the female bounty hunter was described by Evanovich as “incredibly average and yet heroic if necessary.”

As of this writing, Stephanie Plum has been in at least 30 novels, four holiday novellas, and a short story. There was also a movie: Katherine Heigl starred as Plum in the 2012 film One for the Money , which adapted the first book.

Find the Stephanie Plum books on Amazon

Lee Goldberg

Although Lee Goldberg has written a number of books, right now we’re applauding his several original mysteries inspired by the comedy mystery TV show Monk. As both an experienced TV writer as well as a novelist, Goldberg was the ideal candidate to write fifteen official Monk novels . (Once he moved on to other things, there were a few novels by another author.)

By the way, his TV resume also includes working in one way or another with shows like Diagnosis Murder, Nero Wolfe, Martial Law, Spenser: For Hire, Hunter, The Glades, and more. In fact, his mystery writing for television earned him two Edgar Award nominations from the Mystery Writers of America. He was also the 2012 recipient of the Poirot Award from Malice Domestic.

Fun side note: Goldberg and Janet Evanovich (who we just talked about) co-wrote the Fox and O'Hare series .

Find Lee Goldberg’s Monk novels on Amazon

Robert B. Parker (1932-2010)

In his career, Robert B. Parker (1932-2010) published nearly 70 books—including mysteries, westerns, and YA titles. His best-known series starred a private investigator named Spenser—just “Spenser”—a modern-day update of the type of smart-mouth, tough-guy detective modeled by the likes of Raymond Chandler ’s Philip Marlowe.

However, Spenser turns out to be pretty complex for a smart-mouth, tough-guy: He’s an ex-boxer who is also quite erudite, philosophical, and who maintains a relationship with one woman. Following Parker’s death in 2010, the Spenser series was resumed by author Ace Atkins .

There are more than 50 books in the Spenser series!

Here’s a three-in-one collection that makes an excellent character introduction: A Triple Shot of Spenser (Spenser Mysteries)

Find the Spenser books on Amazon

Carl Hiaasen

Drawing on his longtime experience as a newspaper reporter, Carl Hiaasen ’s Florida-based crime fiction often revolves around oddballs, greedy low-lifes, and the bizarre schemes that can pull them together.

Hiaasen’s memorable characters include:

Clinton Tyree , a.k.a. Skink, a crusading environmentalist, road-kill cooking, ex-governor (seen in the Skink series , including the novels Native Tongue , Squeeze Me , and Stormy Weather );

Honey Santana , the impassioned and bipolar “queen of lost causes” who takes it upon herself to teach a telemarketer a lesson ( Nature Girl );

Chaz Perrone , a marine biologist on-the-take who unsuccessfully tries to murder his wife over what turns out to be a misunderstanding ( Skinny Dip );

and Ricky Bloodworth , an ambitious but idiotic newspaper reporter who lacks any of the necessary skills to do his job—and inadvertently becomes the accidental victim of an incompetent terrorist ( Tourist Season ).

Find Carl Hiaasen books on Amazon

Lawrence Block

Award-winning crime writer Lawrence Block has been writing mysteries and suspense for decades. These include the long-running series featuring burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr. Block has actually written about lots of different characters in his crime fiction over the years—having published more than 100 books. He was also named a Grand Master by the Mystery Writers of America in 1994.

The character of burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr debuted in Burglars Can’t Be Choosers (1977). He was introduced as a New York City-based thief who excels in lockpicking and breaking and entering. Unfortunately, during some jobs he would stumble across a dead body—and then have to solve the murder just to clear his name.

Later in the series, Bernie becomes the owner of a used bookstore in Greenwich Village…and now has to burgle so he can pay for the upkeep.

As of 2022, the burglar and crime solver had appeared in at least a dozen books, including a few short stories. He was also portrayed in the 1987 movie Burglar by… Whoopie Goldberg . (Actually, I liked the movie in some ways. Even if the casting choice was a bit odd.)

Find the Bernie Rhodenbarr books on Amazon

Elle Cosimano

Edgar-Award nominee Elle Cosimano ’s witty, fast-paced Finlay Donovan mystery series follows a struggling suspense novelist and single mom turned-amateur-sleuth whose fiction begins to tread dangerously close to the truth. Author Cosimano is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, an International Thriller Writers Award winner, and an Edgar Award nominee. Elle’s debut novel for adults, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It , kicked off a witty, fast-paced contemporary mystery series, which was a People magazine pick and was named one of New York Public Library's Best Books of 2021. The fourth book in the series—which at the time of this writing is just now coming out!—is Finlay Donovan Rolls the Dice (Finlay Donovan Series #4) .

Donna Andrews

Donna Andrews’ “hilarious” Meg Lanslow mystery series stars a successful decorative blacksmith and exceptional amateur sleuth. This mystery series is now at more than 30 books—and has won Agatha, Anthony and Lefty Awards.

Andrews has also won Barry Awards, an RT Book Reviews Award for best first novel, and two Toby Bromberg Awards for “funniest mystery.” She is a member of the Mystery Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and Novelists, Inc.

Find Meg Lanslow mysteries on Amazon

Discussion about this post

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7 of the Funniest Crime Novels Ever Written

Reading Lists

These books prove that wanting to kill someone can be funny.

It’s not easy, getting people to laugh in the presence of murder. It’s also hard to cut a list down from fifty brilliant novels, and I’ll admit my picks are completely subjective—some for their humanity, some for consistency, some for their sheer originality. Everyone owes a debt to Elmore Leonard and Donald Westlake, who in turn owed a debt to Raymond Chandler and P.G. Wodehouse and Dorothy Parker.

And what is funny, anyway? Wanting to kill someone can be funny, at least in hindsight, and writing is all about hindsight made real. The ritual humiliation of the hero is funny, whether you’re watching Peter Wimsey suffer for love of Harriet Vane or watching the truth dawn on a Lawrence Block protagonist. Janet Evanovich’s resilient heroine Stephanie Plum is the detective equivalent of a weighted clown balloon, forever dusting herself off, and Laura Lippman does terrible things to her characters. The original Scandinavian crime novels, the Martin Beck series by Max Sjowall and Per Wahloo, were lusty and sly and human, as opposed to the affectless recent trend. And the Brits rule for humor: I want people to read Nicholas Freeling and Bill James, Jonathan Gash and Peter Lovejoy and Peter Dickinson, Colin Cotterill and the early Martha Grimes.

Taking anything apart can strip away the mystery, though. I came up with a list based on the way I remembered these books making me feel, and circling back around was confusing. What was so funny about Mouse the killer in Devil in a Blue Dress , or Ayoola’s dead lovers in My Sister the Serial Killer ? You’ll have to read them to believe it, and please also read singular novels like Jonathan Lethem’s Motherless Brooklyn , Dwyer Murphy’s An Honest Living , and Robert Plunkett’s My Search for Warren Harding . Read Sara Gran and Lisa Lutz, Paco Ignacio Taibo II and James Crumley. And let me know what I’m missing.

Uncivil Seasons by Michael Malone

As Justin Savile, a wayward, well-born stress-drinker, peels back the layers of a North Carolina town with white trash fellow homicide detective Cuddy Mangum, each layer is stranger. The complexity of the plot and the rich social insight never get in the way of the action, or the humor. Malone wrote two other Justin-Cuddy novels, as well as some excellent stand-alones, and they’re all believable, witty, and humane. They deserve to be back in print.

Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley

Mosley’s pitch-perfect debut gave noir a new rich world in Easy Rawlins, the man who just wants to keep his damn bungalow, and whose friends are often deadlier than his enemies. What’s funny? The sly dialogue, the innate deadliness of Mouse as a very non-Watson sidekick (“You killed him?” asks Easy. “So what? What you think he gonna do fo’you?” answers Mouse) and Mosley’s pithy, fatalistic voice, with beautiful echoes from everything from Chandler to Fitzgerald to Stan Lee.

Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen

There was no Florida Man until Carl Hiaasen peeled the sunburn; he’s so altered our perception of Florida that his version has now become reality, from John D. Macdonald to a cascade of shit in a dozen funny steps. I could have picked any of the novels between Tourist Season to Squeeze Me but I’m fond of the way Stormy Weather ’s retinue of con artists, deranged politicians, and problematic lovers react to the approach of Hurricane Andrew (in a word, badly) and suffer from Hiaasen’s environmental wrath. I’ve also picked Stormy Weather because I was reading it years ago on a book tour when a plane engine caught on fire. I kept reading, and I kept giggling.

Case Histories by Kate Atkinson

No one can can layer looping threads and tragedy and glee like Kate Atkinson—a plot can feel exuberant, almost out of control, and then it clicks into place like a final watch gear—and few writers are as empathetic and stylish as they torture their protagonist in amusing ways. I wrote four novels in the mid-nineties, and for a long time forgot the joy in reading mysteries. Case Histories and the four other novels in the series gave it back to me. Spending time with Jackson Brodie—sad, lustful, dented, and often very, very, wrong—is an undiluted pleasure.

Gangsterland by Tod Goldberg

Tod Goldberg wins for best premise, and a gimlet eye: would Sal Cupertine, hitman, rather be dead, or in a mob-organized witness-protection program as a rabbi named David Cohen? At points Sal’s really not sure: it’s not easy to visit the sick between gruesome hits and learning holy texts, but there’s no lazy moralism to be found in the novel, the first of three in a series. Goldberg’s Las Vegas is a rich, terrible stew of conniving and bungling, and the echoes of Leonard and Westlake and Block add to the joy. Unhinged, smart, and resonant.

My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite

What can you do about a sister like Ayoola—beautiful, amoral, blithe and deadly for her lovers? If you’re her sister Korede, a pragmatic nurse in a Lagos hospital, you mop up, literally, each time Ayoola loses her patience and pulls out her knife, and you watch in dread as she turns her attention to the very kind man you’re in love with. Actually, what was funny? I’m not sure. Korede’s weary fatalism? Ayoola’s oblivious and sunny moods? If she doesn’t feel guilty, why would there be a problem? . . . . Ah, family.

Conviction by Denise Mina

Mina’s novels, including the Garnethill series, have all been excellent: closely observed and realistic, with a lot of crisps-eating and amused exhaustion in the midst of brutal death. I still remember my gradual surprise at the change of tenor of Conviction , which opens up with a housewife named Anna McLean listening to a true crime podcast over coffee about an exploding boat and quickly starts spinning like a whirligig: Anna is not Anna, Anna knows the owner of the boat, and Anna is avoiding the persistent knock on her front door for a reason. And off we go into a giddy, beautifully executed balancing act. There’s a wild sense of freedom to this book, and it leaves you happy as it snaps into a perfect ending.

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DON’T MISS OUT

15 Crime Novels as Funny as They Are Gritty

By greg levin.

From Leonard to Evanovich, these 15 novels will have you laughing with and cheering on characters you’d probably be caught dead with in real life.

My love of both humor and illicit behavior started at a very young age, ignited by watching my two older brothers try to kill one another over the rights to whatever toy came in the box of Trix breakfast cereal my mother had just bought.

Silly rabbit, bloodlust is for kids.

As I grew up, I’d often find myself laughing in places that typically unsettle or disturb normal people. Places like hospitals, funerals, public school cafeterias.

After I learned to read… correction… after I learned to like to read—which didn’t happen until after college—I found myself drawn to books brimming with grit, grime, and crooked grins. I’d even laugh while reading dark fiction that wasn’t at all intended to be funny. For instance, I found Dostoyevsky’s Notes From Underground to be a riot, and I nearly peed my pants perusing Kafka’s The Trial .

Point is, there’s often a fine line between humorous and heinous, laughable and lurid, funny and frightening.

Following are 15 novels that will grip you with their grit while you bust a gut. Books that will have you laughing with and cheering on characters you’d probably be caught dead with in real life.

1) Swag by Elmore Leonard

There isn’t nearly enough room in this post to cite all the reasons why Swag tops this list. More to the point, I read it too long ago to remember exactly why it’s so damn good. Besides, Mr. Leonard—master minimalist that he was—wouldn’t have wanted me to go on and on about the book. Suffice it to say Swag’s one of the sharpest, grittiest, and funniest stories ever written about small-time criminals with big-time dreams, and there have been a LOT of those.

2) Bank Shot by Donald E. Westlake

I sometimes refer to Westlake as “Elmore Leonard Light.” This is not to infer the former is a lesser author than the latter; rather that Westlake’s crime capers are lighter on the grit and heavier on the humor. Bank Shot borders on madcap. It tells the tale of two hapless criminals who try to steal a bank. No, not rob a bank. Steal a whole bank. (Warning: Do not attempt to read any passages from this book while your mouth is full of food or drink.)

3) Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead by Sara Gran

If you try to tell me Sara Gran is one of the most compelling female authors of crime fiction, I’ll take issue with you. Because she’s one of the most compelling authors—male or female—of any fiction. In this book (the first of the sensational series), Gran and her titular detective shake up PI clichés and tropes with sharp wit and plenty of pathos while taking the reader deep into the heart of post-Katrina New Orleans.

4) Skin Tight by Carl Hiaasen

One of the biggest compliments I’ve ever received as an author was from a reviewer who compared my work to that of Hiaasen. The reviewer was obviously drunk—and a close friend of mine who owed me money. No writer can out-funny or out-Florida the king of funny Floridian crime fiction. And Skin Tight (the first book in the Mick Stranahan series) is where Hiaasen’s satirical wizardry and love-hate relationship with the Sunshine State are on best display.

5) One For The Money by Janet Evanovich

I’ve never actually read this book, but was told I’d be an idiot not to include it in this list because the author herself would hunt me down (like the book’s bounty hunter protagonist would) and slap me for the snub. Based on the “Look Inside” excerpts I read on Amazon, One For The Money has a lot of good things going for it terms of New Jersey grit and grins. Hopefully, me saying so will be enough to keep me from needing a restraining order.

6) Kiss Me, Judas by Will Christopher Baer

I first read this darkly comedic cult classic years ago while on vacation in Tulum, Mexico. So don’t tell me a novel built around the urban legend of waking up in an icy bathtub with your kidney missing isn’t a beach read. It is. It was. I found the book to be so mesmerizing and edgy, I couldn’t put it down and thus forgot to get drunk on margaritas or try to have vacation sex with my wife. To this date, it’s her favorite book—and she’s never read a single page.

7) Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell

I had never heard of this book or its author until a few years ago when a literary agent told me—in a rejection letter I’d received from her—“If you want to know what I’m looking for in terms of dark comedy, read Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell.” In my defense, that agent can go to hell. Also, I’ll be forever grateful to her for the book recommendation.

8) Filth by Irvine Welsh

Naturally, I had to include a novel by one of the godfathers of modern transgressive fiction on this list, and Trainspotting was just too obvious a choice. Besides, Filth is deserving of the spot. It’s as scathingly hilarious and as violent (and repulsive) as Welsh’s more famous novel. Plus, who doesn’t love a book where the character you’re expected to cheer for the most is a dirty cop who’s a horrible human being?

9) First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones

You might think it’s strange to have a paranormal thriller on this list, but you’ll think differently after reading just a few pages of this book—the first in the renowned Charley Davidson series. With a protagonist who’s part private investigator and all Grim Reaper, Jones delivers a wickedly funny, wildly imaginative tale that will grip most mystery/thriller fans by the goodies and refuse to let go.

10) Gangsterland by Tod Goldberg

A novel about a hitman who hides from the mafia by becoming a rabbi following a botched hit is an intriguing premise. However I nearly left this book off the list—and for good reason: The author never followed me back on Twitter. But after reading it and laughing out loud while glued to my seat, I couldn’t deny Gangsterland deserved a spot. But if Goldberg doesn’t at least re-tweet my tweet about this article, I’m giving his spot to J.A. Konrath.

11) Remo Went Rogue by Mike McCrary

I met McCrary a couple of years ago at a “Noir at the Bar” event in Austin, before I’d ever read any of his work. The next day, eager to see if his fiction was half as cool as he was, I downloaded the Kindle version of Remo Went Rogue and dove in. The blazing narrative along with the witty, gritty, grimy dialogue grabbed me from the get-go and had me in stitches. I thought, “Is this guy this good, or am I still drunk from last night’s event?” After reading on, I realized both things were true.

12) Land of Shadows by Rachel Howzell Hall

Probably the most serious book on this list; nonetheless, it deserves a spot due to the quick wit and humor Howzell Hall manages to weave into her gripping, intense tale, which is set in racially explosive Los Angeles. As for grit, there’s no question. The plot and protagonist—homicide detective Elouise “Lou” Norton—are the very epitome of gritty in the city. Most readers will love how Detective Norton manages to keep her sense of humor in situations that are far from laughable.

13) Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

If you think I’m stupid enough to disobey the first rule of Fight Club , you are correct. I’m willing to be beaten to a pulp or murdered or worse to ensure that this daring and dangerously funny stick of literary dynamite gets included here. Some may say the book doesn’t really fit the “crime fiction” mold. That’s sort of the point. Also, c’mon—if trying to bring down the world’s financial system (and civilization as we know it) isn’t a crime, I don’t know what is. Except for not reading this book.

14) Shooting Lessons by Lenny Kleinfeld

Mr. Kleinfeld is one of the most underrated and hilarious crime writers around, and Shooting Lessons— his latest novel—is arguably the best and definitely the boldest of his three novels. I mean, the guy fearlessly lampoons a fictionalized version of the NRA. Fans of Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen will love Kleinfeld’s “gun-in-cheek” humor. And I’m not saying all these nice things about him or this book just because he followed me back on Twitter—he also “Liked” my Facebook page.

15) Cherry by Nico Walker

You know when a friend tells you they just read a book that’s absolutely dazzling and dark and divine, and that you simply must read it, and then you do but it doesn’t live up to the hype? This isn’t that book. My friend actually didn’t hype the book enough. In Cherry , Walker—one of the most original voices I’ve read in years—tells a modern tale of war and heroin addiction that’s so visceral and heartbreaking, so humorous in the darkest way, you’ll forget it’s fiction. Which isn’t all that surprising considering the book is based largely on his life. What is surprising is the book—which debuted at number 14 on the New York Times bestseller list and was shortlisted for the 2019 Hemingway Foundation/PEN Award—was written inside a Kentucky prison where Walker’s currently serving the last year of an eleven-year sentence. I can’t wait for him to be released so he can sign my copy.

Your turn! What are some of the grittiest crime novels/thrillers that made you laugh? (And if you list one of MY novels, you’re likely my mother.)

Grow a Little Murder

Book review: remember me tomorrow by farah heron, book review: the christmas jigsaw murders by alexandra benedict, if you like…by olivia blacke, author of a new lease on death.

Mike Befeffler old geezer series is one of the funniest series I have tead

I’ve heard of that series and author but have not read it/him. Will definitely have a look.

Christopher Brookmyre! Violent, twisty, often full of Scottish slang, and absurd, often laugh-out-loud funny, especially his early ones. Haven’t read the new one (Fallen Angel) but looking forward.

I was THIS close to including Brookmyre in this piece, MaryAnn, as I’ve heard some very good things about his work. But I’ve yet to read him—due mainly to my fear of Scottish slang. I’m still recovering from Irvine Welsh’s ‘Trainspotting’!

Thanks for popping by, and for taking the time to comment.

Wonderful list, Greg; I knew you were my kind of writer when Swag and Bank Shot were listed right at the top. I look forward to checking some of your work out.

Thanks so much, Scott. I knew you were my kind of reader when you said I was your kind of writer. 😉

Glad we both agree Leonard and Westlake are criminally comedic geniuses!

Gratefully, gl

John Sanford has had me laughing on more than one occasion. Both Davenport and that ****ing Virgil Flowers have their moments.

Sorry for the ridiculously late reply, John—I never got notified about your comment and just happened to pop in to revisit my post. Yes, John Sanford is a welcome addition to any list featuring authors of humorous crime fiction. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Your reviews surprisingly proved so entertaining, I couldn’t stop reading and laughing. I’m thus reading all your suggestions. These authors owe you big time for snappy commentaries worth musing. Thx…looking for books you’ve written now…

So glad you enjoyed the piece, Carol. (Apologies for the glacial reply—just NOW saw that you’d commented.) Hope you enjoy reading my recs as much as I did. And hope you enjoy reading MY books as much as I enjoyed WRITING them.

Really enjoyed this article, thanks! Got me thinking about some of my favorite humorous voices in crime fiction. Joe R. Lansdale, Charlie Huston, Duane Swierczynski, Scott Phillips, and Eric Beetner, to name a few. Probably my favorite reading experience is a dark tale told with dark humor.

Thrilled the piece resonated with you, Jason. Oh, and you’ve made some GREAT additions. LOVE Lansdale (if you ever get a chance to see him give a live reading, DON’T MISS IT—phenomenally entertaining). And Eric Beetner is one of the most underrated (and generous) scribes I know.

Appreciate the read and your words!

Not sure he’s dark enough, but talk about books that make you laugh out loud while you cheer on the “bad guys” Tim Dorsey’s Serge Storms books – I love them, even though I have a really hard time explaining to people why they’re so funny (given the topics).

I’ve actually not read Dorsey but have heard good things. And btw, you should never have to explain why anything is funny to you. I often try telling my wife why I’m so hilarious, but it never convinces her.

Happy reading! gl

Marshall Karp is another great author I’d add to this list.

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The Art of Comedic Crime Fiction

10 crime novels that strike a balance between humor and noir.

When I began writing my trilogy featuring Ravi Chandra Singh, the British-Indian private detective who worries he’s going insane because he can see gods and keeps blowing up people’s lives whenever he tries to do the right thing, I wanted the series to be funny rather than grim or gritty. Humor in crime stories is not just about jokes to sugarcoat the nastiness, but part and parcel of the author’s worldview.

“Dying is easy, comedy is hard,” as the saying goes, and that certainly applies to thrillers. We usually expect crime thrillers to be serious because of the subject matter, and it takes a very particular attitude to make them funny at the same time. It’s a tricky balancing act, and that probably explains why there aren’t that many comedic crime novels out there. Here are ten funny crime novels that have influenced me.

Dangerous Davies: The Last Detective by Leslie Thomas

First in a series of British novels that they don’t really publish anymore, a funny shaggy-dog series about a schlubby cop in a low-key London suburb who shambles along and occasionally stumbles upon cases bigger than petty larceny and minor misdemeanors. His fellow cops call him “Dangerous” because he’s very much not. He would like nothing more than just to hang out in the pub after work with his Welsh drinking buddy and his large dog and avoid another fight with his landlady, but life has bigger plans for him. Well, slightly bigger plans than usual before letting him back to the pub to hang out, anyway.

The Charles Paris Mysteries by Simon Brett

British novelist Simon Brett is still writing these comedy murder mysteries set in British show business in which struggling actor Charles Paris keeps finding himself neck-deep in murder in virtually every play, movie or TV show that his long-suffering agent manages to book him. Show biz bitchiness, envy and backstabbing often drive the murders, and our detective here is a perennially drunk struggling actor with a wandering eye for the ladies and an exasperated ex-wife who often stumbles upon the answer to the murderers as much as he stumbles upon the murders themselves. The books are enjoying a second life as a BBC radio series starring the sublime Bill Nighy as the hilariously louche Charles Paris.

One for the Money by Janet Evanovich

This is the first book that introduced Evanovich’s heroine Stephanie Plum, a New Jersey gal whose life is a mess. She needs money and a job, and reluctantly tries her hand at bounty hunting. Her first bounty is a cop on the run who becomes her romantic interest and much better company than the psychopaths, sleazebags, and predators she comes across as she learns the ropes of being a bounty hunter one mistake at a time. As much a romantic screwball comedy as a crime thriller, here’s a deep sense of the New Jersey milieu as Janet Evanovich wrote about a world she know well. She’s gone on to write more than twenty books featuring Stephanie Plum, but the first entries are always the freshest and funniest.

The Chinese Agent by Michael Moorcock

This was fantasy and Science Fiction master Michael Moorcock’s reaction to the James Bond series, a farce that takes the piss out of the genre by turning the superspy hero into a self-serving coward who keeps falling upwards almost despite himself. Events beyond his control keep landing him in the wrong place at the right time where his reputation as a superspy and assassin keep his enemies terrified of him. He’s really frozen in terror, but they think he’s being perfectly still with that grin on his face as the stance of a ruthless killer toying with them. This is one of the more obscure books by Moorcock that might be one of those he wrote quickly in a weekend to pay off a tax bill, but is no less entertaining or well-written than his more famous fantasy epics.

Metzger’s Dog by Thomas Perry

One of the few spy novels not by Ross Thomas that’s also a comedy, and the only one of its type written by Thomas Perry, who went on to write the June Whitfield novels, which are not known for their humor. I wonder if Perry was influenced by Ross Thomas’ books here. A suave career thief and his smart girlfriend set out to steal a large box of cocaine but ends up with secret CIA papers that The Agency desperately wants back. This kicks off a story of the thief and his girlfriend cook up a scheme to ransom the papers and end up running rings around a bunch of clueless and inept CIA agents who think they’re up against ruthless terrorists and nearly destroy Los Angeles in their pursuit of the papers. It’s too bad Perry never wrote more books about these characters. This is still my favorite of his novels.

Skin Tight by Carl Hiassen

Carl Hiaasen’s novels combine comically nutty characters, absurd farce and the author’s dry, snarky voice to paint a Florida as the place where everything insane, ridiculous and awful about America is concentrated more than anywhere else. I’m particularly fond of this book for the awful plastic surgeon, the sardonically stoical investigator hero who’s prone to matter-of-fact but creative acts of violence in self-defense, and the escalating plot involving mob hitmen, a whistleblowing nurse, a mean ex-wife and the producers of a reality TV show about plastic surgery mishaps all contribute to a escalating series of murderous farce make this book a model of plotting.

The Mordida Man by Ross Thomas

Ross Thomas was one of the few writers who wrote spy novels that were comedies. They were thrillers still, but Thomas had a jaundiced eye on what spies got up to that he portrayed them and their situations as dark comedy. This novel is prime example of espionage-as-farce. Written at the height of the Cold War and when Libya was considered a threat, Thomas presents a world of spies who screw up horribly and scramble to cover their asses, a corrupt former CIA agent, an unstable dictator, crafty diplomats, pissed-off terrorists make life complicated for a quirky ex-politician-turned-negotiator when he’s tasked by the US President to rescue his brother from terrorists.

The Dover Stories by Joyce Porter

Joyce Porter has a talent for creating oddball characters in her crime stories, and she created a detective series and a spy series starring wildly unsuitable heroes. Wilf Dover is the worst detective in Scotland Yard, a fat, lazy, unhygienic slob who would rather spend his time drinking and smoking, and goes off on assigned murder cases with a grumble. His straight-arrow partner Sergeant McGregor has his hands full trying to keep him on point. Dover usually lets McGregor do all the work, but every now and then works things out all by himself. He’s a terrible detective because he can’t be bothered, but when he does bother, he’s actually good at it. The Dover stories are usually riotous comedy, but Porter also used them to explore issues like far-right politics, sectarianism and radical feminism.

Sour Cream and Everything by Joyce Porter

Joyce Porter turns her farcical eye on the spy genre here with the first of four novels featuring the reluctant spy Eddie Brown, a lowly comprehensive school teacher recruited by a ramshackle division of the British Secret Service to impersonate a Russian double agent in their attempt to hoodwink the Soviets. His training is barely adequate, he’s out of his depth, he hates being stuck in a job he never wanted, and things keep threatening to go horribly wrong. There would be three more novels in this series, and the absurd farce of Cold War spy games never lets up. As I looked back on Joyce Porter’s novels, I suddenly realized how much she might have influenced the Ravi series.

Rather a Common Sort of Crime by Joyce Porter

I almost didn’t include Porter’s third series in this list for fear it was getting long, but felt obliged because it may also have influenced my approach to the Ravi novels. Here Porter introduces the Honourable Constance Morrison-Burke, an amateur sleuth who fancies herself smarter than the police when she’s really a bumbling idiot. She doesn’t let that stop her, riding high on a cloud of supreme self-belief, as she bulldozes her way through cases leaving disaster in her wake. She is the posh private detective you hire only if you want your problem to become a massive catastrophe. This series feels like an outright spoof of the genre rather than a straight telling, and it highlights the silliness and absurdity of amateur sleuth characters quite mercilessly.

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Adi Tantimedh

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Contest #165 shortlist ⭐️

The breakfast murder club.

Submitted into Contest #165 in response to: Write a story where a murder occurs — and the suspects are all pointing the finger at one another. ... view prompt

Mystery Funny Crime

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

A hush fell upon the gathering at the large clover-shaped mansion that Lucky the Lucky Charms Leprechaun lived in. The guests looked in horror and sadness as they saw the body of the effusive leprechaun floating in the large clover-shaped pool that was located in the courtyard of the luxurious estate.

Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Buzz the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, and Snap, Crackle and Pop all stood silently staring at the corpse. While their first impulse was to consider it an accidental death by drowning, something about the mangled nature of the body didn’t add up. Casting even further doubt on the death-by-drowning theory was the large metal blade protruding from Lucky’s back, with blood flowing freely out of the wound and into the pool water.

After a long and agonizing silence, Buzz was the first to speak. “Looks like we got ourselves a cereal killer on our hands,” he giggled.

“Buzz, that’s not fucking funny!” Crackle yelled at the floating bee. “We have to figure out who did this!”

“Can we make sure he’s really dead?” Snap inquired. “I mean – we don’t know for sure, do we?”

I don’t think he’s alive,” Toucan Sam flew over the pool to examine the corpse from above. “He’s not breathing.” He flew back to his room and retrieved a large life preserver shaped like a Red Froot Loop, then tossed it into the pool next to Lucky. But there was no movement from the leprechaun. “C’mon Lucky!” The body still did not stir.

“Heeeee’s deeeaddd!” Tony lamented.

“But who vould vant to kill Lucky?” Count Chocula asked. “Lucky didn’t have an enemy in the vorld!”

“Well, that’s not totally true,” Pop shook his head. “I can think of a few people who would have wanted to do away with Lucky.”

“Like who?” Frankenberry asked as he retrieved a pool skimmer and attempted to push Lucky’s body toward the side of the pool for retrieval.

“Well for starters, how about his children? Lucky had quite an estate, and lots of estranged children thanks to his fondness for Irish hookers. Those kids always chasing him in the commercials? They were his own offspring! They were always after his lucky child support payments!”

“Yes, Lucky was loaded!” Buzz blurted out. “He had it all! Cash, stocks, and bonds, Bitcoin and doubloons! Pots of gold, Swiss bank accounts, and real estate investment boons!”

“But I didn’t see any kids come into this house today,” Sam interjected. “Or anyone else, for that matter.” He paused. “Let’s face it, one of us is the killer.”

The rest of the mascots stood silent for a moment. Finally, Snap ventured a comment. “So, which one of us would have had a motive to kill Lucky? We were all his friends, his most trusted buddies. We’ve all been through thick and thin together; whether we work for Kellogg’s or General Mills, we’ve all had the same goal of selling the world’s children onto delicious sugary cereal, so they don’t end up with that bland nutritious oatmeal their parents want them to eat. How could any of us stoop to something like this?”

“Well, there’s one mascot here I think could have done this,” Sam proposed. He pointed at the Frosted Flakes guru. “Tony! He’s had it in for the beloved leprechaun for a long time!”

“Heeeey, I wouldn’t kill anybodddyyyy!!!” Tony protested.

“Oh you wouldn’t?” Frankenberry sneered at the large cartoon tiger. “Like you didn’t make your displeasure known about Lucky’s Asian safaris that you claim are decimating your kind? Especially with your criminal history! Remember all those game hunters they found outside your house?”

“Those maulings were expunged from my recorrrrddddd!!!” Tony frantically tried to steer the accusations elsewhere. “It was probably the Toucaannnnn who did it!!”

“That’s right!” Buzz agreed. “Remember Sam, how you threatened Lucky on social media, and you had to put out a public apology before Kellogg’s would let you appear in commercials again?!”

Sam leapt to his own defense. “Well, he was nasty to me too! He said that Froot Loops were nothing more than gay Cheerios! He should have been kicked off of Twitter too!”

“Heeeee’s guiilllll-tyyyyy!!” Tony exclaimed as the other mascots took a harsh eye to the toucan.

“Tony,” Pop yelled at the tiger, “this isn’t one of your stupid commercials, why do you always talk like that?”

“I-I-I-I – had a strokkkke!!!” Tony declared.

“This is a total witch hunt!” Sam screamed. “If I killed Lucky, you think I’d just leave his body in the pool for everyone to find? I’m a fucking bird! I could easily take him anywhere to dispose of the evidence!” He looked around at his accusers. “It was probably Chocula! Lucky had the goods on him, and the Count knew it!”

The crowd gasped, turning to the chocolaty vampire, who backed away slowly from all of them except for his ward, Frankenberry.

“I don’t know vhat you’re talking about! I did not do vanything! Lucky did not have vanything on me!”

“Oh yeah?” Sam sneered at the Count. “You knew that Lucky knew about your holdings in cocoa production companies operating in West Africa! Lucky knew that you were profiteering from child slave labor, using children to produce the chocolate used in your cereal! He was gonna go to the papers about it! And he also knew about your little dalliances with European figures of royalty, and your alleged ties to murderous east European strongmen like Vlad the Impaler and Ivan the Terrible! But what really made Lucky decide to come clean with everything he knew about you was a laptop he found in your castle, proving your involvement with Russia’s invasion of Ukraine! You sir, have a long and very bloody history, and Lucky was about to blow it all up for the world to see! That, is why you killed him!”

“You seriously did all of that?” Snap gaped at Chocula. “You should take a good hard look in whatever it is you vampires use instead of a mirror!”

“I did not kill Lucky!” The count vigorously declared, “And all that stuff is also a lie! Lucky vanted to frame me because I vas always his biggest competition for cereals with marshmallows shaped like weird crap in them!”

“I think we need to examine where the three little elves stand with all this,” Frankenberry said. “Snap, Crackle and Pop. Maybe one of you SNAPPED, then another one of you CACKLED, and then the third of you POPPED!”

“Okay, what’s our motive?” Pop asked belligerently. “Lucky and us go back many years; us little guys gotta stick together, you know?”

“Like you never had it in for the little leprechaun who works for your rival company!” Buzz buzzed. “He always beat you in the little peoples’ competitions at the breakfast conventions! Plus, his cereal always did better with children aged 6-18, especially in those from wealthier households!”

Snap sniffled. “Yes, he was our whimsical little rival. But that doesn’t mean any of us would kill him! If it was anybody here who did it, it was probably the pink monstrosity standing over there!”

Frankenberry frowned as the crowd turned in his direction. “Me? Screw you, you little elf! I would never kill Lucky!”

“Oh yeah?” Snap asserted. “Like you never got into Lucky’s face about all the rumors he spread about you, about the name of your cereal meaning it contained genetically modified berries!”

Frankenberry shook his head sadly. “Yeah, I guess it did hit me below the belt when he told people that. My sales went down over twenty percent because of him!”

“Also, Lucky did sleep vith your wife,” Chocula added.

“She said sex with me was like sleeping with a corpse!” Frankenberry cried. “Well, I can’t help that! I’m made of corpses! The hell was she doing with that little Irish runt anyway? His pecker is probably the size of a matchstick!”

“Whoa uh, I think we best move on,” Sam suggested. “Wait a minute – we never talked about Buzz! Our flying friend here had a very good motive to off our beloved leprechaun!”

“Okay I see where this is going, but I am not the killer!” Buzz screamed. “Yes, Lucky interfered with my efforts to spread awareness of the threat to honeybees! He’d go around saying horrible things about my people, that we’re all dangerous, invasive species who sting people for fun! He kept showing everyone that damn Wu-Tang Clan video where the killer bees attack New York! He even tried to convince Michael Bay to produce an action/horror movie called ‘Night of the Bumblebees!’ All because my cereal beats his among the 18-34 female demographic!”

“That’s not the only reason,” Sam insisted. “It’s well-known in the industry that Lucky also encouraged the worker bees in your hives to unionize. Apparently work conditions at your company are so bad that many of your employees have jumped ship to work for Amazon and Wal-Mart. I mean, God forbid you provide your employees with full dental!”

“What the hell do my bees need dental for?” Buzz countered. “They don’t even have teeth!”

“Okay, enough!” Crackle yelled. “This isn’t getting us anywhere! It’s clear that almost all of us had a motive to kill Lucky! But obviously only one of us actually did it! We have to start looking for clues! We need to check any video surveillance of the pool, examine Lucky’s wounds, get an autopsy done, anything that might clue us in on how and when he died, and who was with him when he expired!”

No sooner did he finish talking then all the lights went out. The courtyard area was suddenly shrouded in darkness, with none of the mascots being able to see anything despite some of them normally having excellent night vision. Then only moments later, the lights came back on as quickly as they turned off. Everyone shrieked in horror as they saw Crackle laying on the ground, covered in blood and not moving.

“Crackle!” Snap screamed. “Who did this to you?”

“The killerrrrrr has struuuck agaaaaiiinnnn!!!!” Tony exclaimed.

“We have to find out who did this!” Toucan yelled. “Everyone, follow my nose and stick together!”

Suddenly a voice was heard from inside the house. “Ahem, everyone, if you’ll turn your attention to me, I think I know the solution to this perplexing mystery.” The gathering turned their heads to see the newcomer, Captain Crunch, emerge from the mansion and into the pool yard.

“Captain!” Pop cheered. “What are you doing here?”

“I came here earlier, saw what happened, and have been investigating the house ever since,” the captain chuckled. “I’ve become quite adept at sleuthing ever since my court-martial from the Navy forced me into early retirement.”

“So, who was the killer?” Frankenberry asked. “And was it the same person who murdered Crackle just now?”

Crunch took a whiff from his pipe. “Just calm down and I will explain everything. First, here is an explanation of how it might have happened.”

HOW IT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED

“Tony did it,” the Captain announced, pointing at the shocked tiger, “In a fit of rage. Earlier today he and Lucky were out by the poolside bar making chit chat, and the conversation turned to health and nutrition. Tony repeatedly mocked the idea of marshmallows being considered a breakfast food, to which Lucky stated that marshmallows may not be a nutritious food, but that Tony was an endangered species and his mother was a whore. Tony immediately and swiftly murdered Lucky, inserted a knife into the body and threw it into the pool to cover up the telltale slash wounds, and then bribed Buzz to kill the power using his stinger so that he could make an escape under cover of darkness.”

“But when everyone gathered at the pool instead, Buzz had to sneak away in order to cut the electricity. Tony then took advantage of the darkness to kill Crackle before the others could start searching and find out it was him who performed the dastardly deeds.”

“How daaarrre yooouuu! It wasn’t meeee!” Tony exclaimed.

“Captain,” Buzz belted out, “Maybe you should stop with your bullshit detective work and go back to manning those glory holes, or whatever else it is you did that got you kicked out of the Navy!”

Captain Crunch was undeterred. “Those are the facts, I’m afraid. As ugly as they may be, we have a double murderer and an accomplice amongst us right now.”

“You both are going to jail for this!” Snap cried in between shedding tears for his lost companion.

“The hellll I ammm!” Tony snarled as he bore his fangs belligerently. “Youuu’rreeee alllll deeeeadddd!!!!” He leapt up and pounced onto the ground, roaring and throwing his claws aggressively at the other mascots.

“You don’t wanna mess with the eye of this tiger!” Buzz declared as he pointed his stinger at the crowd and prepared to dive bomb into them. “Cuz believe me, you won’t be a survivor!”

“Well, this is all a fun little romp,” Captain Crunch announced just as the fracas was about to go into full drive, “But it isn’t actually how it happened. How about this?”

HOW ABOUT THIS?

“Toucan Sam is the culprit!” Captain Crunch proclaimed once the mascots were all at his attention again. “Lucky was about to publish a memoir detailing Sam’s troubled history as a cocaine addict. Sam was afraid the revelation would cause parents to boycott Froot Loops and tank sales of his product. So he waited until Lucky was alone in the pool yard, then pecked him to death with that long fruity beak of his.”

The rest of the mascots were shocked, but Sam did not attempt to deny the accusation. “Well, yes, Lucky did meet his end with me. But aren’t you forgetting about your little part in this, oh Captain my Captain?”

When Captain Crunch did not respond, Sam was quick to continue. “When Captain Crunch arrived at the scene, I knew he would figure things out. So, I blackmailed him into covering up this crime by threatening to reveal to everyone his association with Jeffrey Epstein. So while we were all arguing back here, Crunch cut the power so that I could kill Crackle and take the heat off of myself for long enough to smuggle Lucky’s body away from the house. But guess what Captain – our deal is off! You weren’t supposed to reveal yourself in this manner, and now we’re both fucked!”

“Aye Toucan, that is so,” Captain Crunch proclaimed, “There is indeed a lesson in all this: blackmail and hidden secrets are tempting to use, but are as dangerous to their wielders as they are to their targets! But do not despair Toucan, for that is also not how it happened. Here is the real solution to this mystery.”

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

“ No one killed Lucky,” the Captain announced. “In the interval before his body was discovered by you all, I conducted a thorough examination. Though it may look like foul play, his death was actually caused by drowning as a result of acute alcohol poisoning, brought about by his ethnicity as well as his despondency over losing yet another child paternity case, this time to a Brooklyn mother of four.”

The rest of the cereal mascots murmured. “But, then why was the body still in the pool, with the knife in his back, when we found him?” Frankenberry asked.

Suddenly Crackle rose to his feet, brushing himself off as he laughed. “Thank the Captain’s cunning for that one!” He cackled, as Captain Crunch glared at him with eyes wide open.

“Crackle, what the hell man? You totally stuck the knife in my back!”

“Give it a rest Cap, you did that yourself!” Crackle started licking up the ketchup he had covered himself with as part of the ruse. “After the autopsy, Captain Crunch put the knife in Lucky’s back and threw it into the pool to make the scene look like murder, sullying the reputation of the other cereal mascots enough to make people forget about his court martial which was hurting sales of Crunch Berries. I was in on the scheme as well, because he promised to help me convince the bigwigs at Kellogg’s to bring back Rice Krispie Treats Cereal, which we all know was the bomb. So I faked my death in order to make it look like a double homicide and allow Captain to declare himself a hero for solving the mystery. Plus, it would have allowed me to cash in on a very lucrative life insurance policy once I resurfaced under the brand name Rice Titties – the world’s first pornographic cereal.”

“Then why did you just blow it all right now?” The Captain seethed. “You and I were gonna be rich beyond our wildest dreams!”

“I had second thoughts lying down here just now. I realized that no one really wants boobs in their breakfast cereal,” Crackle shrugged. “So sue me.”

The rest of the mascots simply stood in silence for a moment. Captain Crunch decided to slip away quietly, to which no one else took notice. As the evening turned into full-on nighttime, they still stood in the pool yard without making a sound.

“Well,” Buzz finally said, “Anyone wanna go over to the Trix Rabbit’s house? He texted me that he just made some brownies that are very much not for kids.”

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27 likes 19 comments

OMG , I would pay to be at this party, even with the dead leprechan. Thanks for a much needed morning, spit my coffee out, laugh,

Thank you, always glad to hear I made someone laugh!

Hi Zach! I loved how clever this story was! I would love to hear the inspiration. I think my favorite part was how well you characterized each of these icons and did it while incorporating some more adult elements. Congratulations on the shortlist!

Thank you Amanda! I just saw the prompt and my mind went to doing something more irreverent with it, and the idea for breakfast cereal mascots just came to me! Took some inspiration from the movie Clue as well. My goal was to try to make the story as adult-themed and messed up as possible, hopefully I succeeded!