examples of funny retirement speeches

Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes

Retirement speeches can be tricky, there is no doubt about it. One of our readers, Ted, worked on the railways for 35 years and wanted some tips to write his speech, including some jokes and one liners. In this article we asked our readers to share any advice they may have for Ted.

On the past 35 years

One of the best methods that I have heard in a retirement speech would be to use a line like “What will stand out in my heart and mind as I look back at the past 35 years of working for the railways?”

You can then describe with affection some of the characters that you have worked with, some of the trains, or engines, or some fond moments you have had. I bet there are a few funny stories that you have had over the years.

When I retire in my speech will be a few examples of my catch phrase “it seemed like a good idea at the time” – a number of stories of amusing things that I did, which on reflection were not so clever.

Jokes and one liners

Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use:

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” Charles Lamb.

“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch” R C Sherriff.

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save” Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.

“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man” Scott Elledge.

“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does” Anonymous.

“When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us” Alexander Graham Bell.

“Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made” William Shakespeare.

“Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime We’ll take the best, forget the rest And someday we’ll find these are the best of times…” – song “best of times” by Styx.

Answer thanks to Jonty P.

Quotations to include in your speech:

“Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time” – Malcolm Muggeridge.

“A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age” – Anon.

“There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!” – Groucho Marx.

“I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to retire to.” – Doctor Who.

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” – Alfred D. Souza.

“Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ll never get hurt, you’ve got to dance like no one is watchin, Its gotta come from the heart if you want it to work!!”-song “Come from the heart” by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh.

Answer thanks to Ed.

Structuring your speech

It’s funny we work all our lives and in many ways our retirement speech is the last thing we have to do. You would think that we would put a lot of time into what to say.  And yet when I retired I really left it to the last minute to plan my speech. One suggestion on the structure is to use a comparison over time.

An introduction joke could be to “The good news is that I’m only going to make one retirement speech, and this is it”.

You could start with “When I started in business…” You could go over how different things were 35 years ago. Things like the typing pool etc.…”

You could then bring it forward in time to how things are today or a step along the way.

A line like “It wasn’t until…” could fit in well. This is used to good effect in a speech by Brendan Wilson.

You could do a skit on how when you started at work all of the common computer words had different meanings (Ram, Mouse, Floppy etc.).

If you wanted to include a part on change you could use a funny line like “And remember – change is inevitable – except from vending machines”.

I have just come across a quote which I have built into a line that could be used as part of a leaving or retirement speech.

“Today reminds me of the time when Governor Swanson of Virginia made a long and rambling speech. Afterwards a woman came up to him to shake his hand. “How did you like my speech?” he asked. She answered, “I liked it fine, but it seems to me that you missed several excellent opportunities.” Swanson was puzzled. “Several excellent opportunities to do what?” “To quit” she replied.

And so today is my time to quit. And I’m sure that there may be some in the audience that may have felt that I have missed some excellent opportunities, but now is my time to retire…”.

Answer thanks to Doctor.

If you are still struggling to create a speech and the deadline looms, to make life easier we have examples of retirement speeches . These can be customised for your own purposes.

You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian to give a funny speech, but it does normally look better if you aren’t sat down! If you have any one liners that you used in your retirement speech, or can think of any off the top of your head, please let us know in the comments box below.

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Jamie….I LIKE it…clever

When I retired I was asked by a co-worker how many years experience I had? – One Hundred years I replied.

Wow but how old are you? he asked – 61 I replied

Perplexed he said but then how did you manage to get so many years experience?

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How to Write a Memorable Retirement Speech + Examples

Updated 12/28/2023

Published 03/2/2020

Belinda McLeod, BA in Secondary Education

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Stepping up to the podium for your own retirement speech or perhaps for a colleague’s grand exit? Bravo! Whether you’re bidding farewell to your own illustrious career or celebrating a coworker’s legacy, it’s a momentous occasion. And guess what? The spotlight’s on you, and people are eager to be moved, amused, and maybe shed a tear or two.

Jump ahead to these sections:

• Who Gives a Retirement Speech?

Retirement Speech Etiquette

Tips for writing a retirement speech, short retirement speech examples.

If this is your debut into the world of retirement speeches, you don’t have to fret too much. Think of it as giving a wedding toast but with fewer embarrassing stories and more career highlights. 

Even if you’ve mastered the art of public speaking, a retirement speech is a unique beast. After all, you want your words to capture the essence of decades of dedication and hard work. 

This article will help you do just that. Keep reading to learn how to write a retirement speech that resonates and leaves an indelible mark.

Tip: Growing older and entering retirement also means watching your friends and family members grow older, too. And that often means coping with loss and grief. If you know a retiree who's facing a loss, our post-loss checklist  may be able to help.

Who Gives a Retirement Speech? 

Retirement speeches are a rite of passage and a moment to reflect on years of service, shared memories, and the legacy left behind. But who steps up to the mic to deliver these poignant words during an office farewell or retirement party ?

While the retiree is an obvious choice, there are others who’ve shared in the journey and can offer unique perspectives. Each speaker brings something unique to the table, painting a comprehensive picture of the retiree’s impact. Let’s take a look at the roles of these speakers and the insights they can bring to the celebration.

The retiree

If you’re the retiree taking center stage, this is your chance for personal reflection. You can share:

• Anecdotes from your journey
• The challenges you overcame
• Milestones you celebrated
• Gratitude for colleagues, mentors, and the organization

A retiree’s speech often carries pride in their achievements, nostalgia for the memories, and excitement for the future. You might also sprinkle in some humor like a light-hearted mistake or a memorable office prank. This speech is your curtain call, so make sure to leave a lasting impression and maybe impart some wisdom to those still in the midst of their careers.

A coworker’s perspective is invaluable because they’ve been in the trenches together, weathered the same storms, and celebrated mutual successes. If you’re giving a retirement speech for a close coworker, you can highlight:

• The retiree’s professional attributes and teamwork
• The camaraderie you shared
• Recollections of shared projects, inside jokes, and day-to-day interactions
• Your personal bond and the times you spent together

Your words have the power to connect with many in the room, echoing shared sentiments and reinforcing the retiree’s impact on the team.

A boss or manager

When a boss or manager speaks, it’s a testament to the retiree’s professional impact. Your perspective offers a birds-eye view of the retiree’s contributions, leadership, and the legacy they leave behind.

You can also touch on the personal qualities that made the retiree stand out, such as their resilience, dedication, or mentorship to younger colleagues. The retirement speech is a chance to express gratitude on behalf of the organization, pride in their accomplishments , and to assure the retiree that their shoes were hard to fill.

Retirement speeches are a tribute, a celebration, and a farewell all wrapped into one. As with any significant occasion, there’s etiquette to follow to make the event memorable for all the right reasons. Understanding these nuances can make the difference between a speech that’s cherished and one that’s merely endured.

Consider some retirement speech etiquette to ensure your words resonate with grace, respect, and warmth.

Dress appropriately

The way you dress not only reflects your respect for the occasion but also sets the tone for your speech. Dressing appropriately signifies that you value the event and the person being honored. It's not just about looking good; it's about showing that you've put thought into your appearance as a mark of respect. 

Whether it's a formal event or a casual gathering, ensure your attire matches the occasion. Remember, it's always better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed.

Use humor wisely

Humor can be a fantastic tool to lighten the mood and engage the audience. However, it's a double-edged sword. What's funny to one person might be offensive to another. 

When incorporating humor, make sure it's in good taste and won't alienate or upset anyone. Steer clear of inside jokes that only a few might understand or controversial topics that could divide the room. The goal is to evoke smiles and laughter, not raised eyebrows.

A retirement speech is a heartfelt tribute, and sincerity is its cornerstone. While it's okay to refer to notes or an outline, ensure your words come from the heart.

Authenticity resonates. People can tell when sentiments are genuine versus when they're merely rehearsed lines. Speak with conviction, share genuine anecdotes, and let your true feelings shine through.

Be positive

Retirement is a celebration of a significant milestone. While it's tempting to bring up past challenges or conflicts, focus on the positive. Highlight achievements, growth, and the good times. 

Even if there were hurdles, frame them as learning experiences or stepping stones that led to greater successes. A positive tone uplifts the atmosphere and leaves the retiree with fond memories.

Time the speech correctly

While you want to cover all your points, you don’t want to bore anyone to sleep. A speech that's too long can lose the audience's attention, while one that's too short might seem insincere.

Aim for a sweet spot, typically between 5 to 10 minutes. This gives you plenty of time to convey your message without overstaying your welcome. Practice beforehand and, if possible, time yourself to keep on track.

Be grateful

Whether you're the retiree thanking your colleagues or a manager expressing appreciation for years of service, always express gratitude. Recognize the contributions, the memories, and the shared journey. A simple 'thank you' can resonate deeply, leaving a lasting impression on the retiree and the audience alike.

Crafting a retirement speech is an art that can seem daunting. After all, you have to encapsulate decades of memories, achievements, and emotions into a few minutes. 

Thankfully, with the right approach and a sprinkle of creativity, you can pen a speech that’s both memorable and moving.

General tips

Whether you’re a retiree or a colleague, retirement speeches should be given with utmost care and respect. Add a touch of creativity, and you’ve got a well-prepared speech that will move hearts and honor the star of the show.

Here are some general tips for crafting a memorable retirement speech.

Choose a speaker who knows the person well

Selecting the right speaker is the foundation of a memorable retirement speech. The speaker's connection with the retiree can make all the difference. Here are some qualities the ideal speaker should have:

• Personal connection:  The speaker should have a personal rapport with the retiree so they can give genuine anecdotes and heartfelt sentiments.
• Knowledge of career journey:  Choose someone familiar with the retiree's professional journey, milestones, and achievements.
• Eloquence:  While personal connection is vital, the speaker should also be comfortable speaking in public and conveying emotions effectively.
• Representative of the team:  Ideally, the speaker should represent the sentiments of the larger group, ensuring the speech resonates with everyone present.
• Avoid last-minute choices:  Plan ahead so the speaker has ample time to prepare. Don't leave the selection of the speaker to the last moment.

Focus on the honoree

The retiree is the star of the show, and the speech should reflect that. Here's how to keep the spotlight on them:

• Highlight achievements:  Discuss significant milestones, projects, and contributions made by the retiree.
• Share personal anecdotes:  Personal stories add warmth and depth. Share moments that capture the retiree's essence.
• Avoid generic praises:  Be specific in your compliments. Instead of saying "You're great," mention what makes them so.
• Incorporate feedback: Talk to colleagues and gather shared memories or sentiments to include.
• Acknowledge growth:  Discuss how the retiree evolved over the years, both professionally and personally.

Keep it short — but not too short

Timing is everything when you’re giving a retirement speech. You’ve got to strike the perfect balance. Here's how to ensure your speech is just right:

• Set a time limit:  Aim for 5-10 minutes. It's long enough to cover key points but short enough to retain attention.
• Practice out loud:  This helps in gauging the length and making necessary edits.
• Prioritize content:  Focus on the most impactful memories and achievements.
• Engage the audience:  A well-timed speech ensures the audience remains engaged throughout.
• Leave room for applause:  Factor in moments of applause or reactions, ensuring the speech doesn't feel rushed.

Carefully use humor

Humor can elevate a speech, but you’ve got to tread carefully. Here's how to infuse humor without overstepping:

• Know your audience:  Choose jokes that are appropriate for the audience's sensibilities.
• Avoid sensitive topics:  Steer clear of controversial or potentially hurtful subjects.
• Test your joke:  Share them with a trusted colleague to gauge their reaction.
• Use light self-deprecation:  It's a safe way to add humor without offending anyone.
• Stay authentic:  Forced humor can fall flat. If humor isn't your strength, focus on warmth and sincerity.

Preparation is key to delivering a confident and heartfelt speech. You can thoroughly prepare in several ways:

• Write an outline:  Organize your thoughts and structure your speech with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
• Rehearse: Practice multiple times to get the flow right and make necessary tweaks.
• Seek feedback:  Share your speech with a trusted colleague or friend for feedback.
• Visualize the day:  Imagine yourself giving the speech. This mental rehearsal can boost confidence.
• Stay calm and composed:  Remember, it's a celebration. Take deep breaths, stay relaxed, and speak from the heart.

As the retiree

If you’re a retiree, there are several ways to create a great speech:

• Reflect on your journey: Talk about where you started, the highs and lows along the way, and where you feel like you've "landed" at the end of your career.
• Acknowledge and appreciate: There are a lot of people who have helped you on your way. Take the time to acknowledge and thank them for their role in your life and career.
• Share life lessons: What lessons have you learned that you want to pass along? Share these during your speech.

As a trusted coworker or superior

What about if you’re a coworker or superior? Focus on highlighting the retiree’s impact, sharing personal anecdotes, and offering well wishes for the future.

You might know the person pretty well, but it's always important to make sure you've got the right information on hand. Make sure to gather information and fact check for items like:

• How long the retiree has been in the industry.
• How long the retiree has worked for the company.
• The previous positions the person held within the company.
• The contributions they made while working.
• Awards the person who is retiring may have received in the course of their career.
• Pertinent information about the retiree's work history.

Here are some snippets of retirement speeches that you can amend for your situation. Remember, it is important to speak from the heart. Your audience will appreciate a more authentic speech rather than a stoic message.

For a friend

When Max began work at our firm, gas was $1.19 a gallon, and Ronald Reagan had just been elected president. Kramer vs. Kramer won Best Picture, and “Call Me” by Blondie was playing on the radio. All that to say, she’s been a fixture here for quite a while. To say that Max knows every aspect of this business like the back of her hand is not an understatement.

I remember the first time I walked into this office. Maxine was the first person to greet me. She gave me advice on where to park, showed me how to fill out a PTO request, and answered all my questions during lunch. She introduced me to everyone on staff.  And she made sure I knew all the ins and outs of working for Brighton Industries. This wasn’t part of her job, but she did it anyway. She made every new person in the office feel welcome.

Every office has a “go-to” person. The person who knows how to handle the difficult client. The person who knows how to hire the right person for the job. The person who knows how to load new toner in the printer. Max has been our go-to person for 25 years, and she leaves big shoes to fill.

One of Max’s best qualities is her ability to stay calm in the middle of the storm. Do you remember the great Jones Company fiasco in 2004? While the rest of us panicked about the loss of our biggest client, she went out and found us a new client. And that client brought in twice as much revenue as the client we lost!

We know that Maxine is looking forward to retirement. She told me she is planning to spend more time quilting. And she’ll be hanging out with her daughter and three adorable grandbabies. You’ve all seen pictures of her grandkids, right? Of course, you have! We are all so excited to wish Maxine well as she starts checking off items from her retirement bucket list . 

For your retirement

Thank you so much for all the kind words. I have loved working at Brighton Industries. I have had some of the best times in my life at this office. I have made lifelong friends who I treasure. Thank you for being the best coworkers and friends a woman could ask for.

There are a few things that I won’t miss about working for Brighton. I won’t miss filling out the TPS reports. I won’t miss the late nights that came with tax season. I won’t miss how cold the office is in the summer, or how hot the office is during the winter. But I will miss all of you. You have made this office feel like a second home to me. Thank you.

I discovered what amazing coworkers I had when I lost my mom to cancer three years ago. You all stepped in so willingly to pick up the slack when I couldn’t perform my regular duties. Not only did you take on more responsibilities in the office, but many of you also provided meals to my family. It meant the world to me, knowing that I could depend upon you all for help.

For a coworker

I have witnessed many people come and go throughout my years here at Smith and Smith. However, I am sadder today than ever, knowing Michelle won’t be stepping out of our elevator Monday morning. 

Even though Michelle has only worked at Smith and Smith for the last eight years, she has contributed much to our organization. For example, she made our network more secure by spearheading our cybersecurity efforts. But she also had a knack for streamlining processes, allowing us to work more efficiently. Before Michelle began working here, we worked a great deal of overtime. The reason we are now able to leave at 5 p.m. is because of the processes she began.

On a personal level, Michelle was always a delight to be around. She’s not one to complain – even when we had to put in extra hours last winter. Michelle was always the first to jump in to help when someone was sick or had a personal emergency. We all have stories of how Michelle helped us during a pinch. 

Michele – I will remember you with fondness. I am excited that you will have more time to spend with your beautiful grandchildren, and I wish you every happiness in the future. 

I was honored to be asked to speak about Samuel this afternoon. After working for Samuel for over 20 years, I have a lot to say. Don’t worry, Sam. Most of it is good.

First, I would like to tell you some things about Sam’s background that you might not have been aware of. Sam has a degree in Chemistry from Perdue. Even though he was prepared to spend his life in a lab setting, he sat next to a stranger on the subway one day while going to a job interview. He spoke with this person and learned he was starting a new shoe company and looking for someone to oversee the distribution. Of course, that stranger was Frank Jones, our illustrious founder. And that was why Sam never used his chemistry degree.

The second thing you may not know about Sam is that he is a violin virtuoso. I didn’t know this about him until a few years ago when Sam and his wife had me over for dinner. I saw a music stand in the corner of his living room and asked about it. Sam’s wife encouraged him to play for me. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded by his talent. 

For a subordinate

I know I have the reputation of being a bit of a perfectionist. In fact, before Lucy was hired four years ago, I had been through twelve assistants in thirteen years. That’s one reason why today is such a sad day for me. While I am ecstatic that Lucy will have more time to devote to her novel, I am sorry that I have to find someone to replace her. It’s not going to be easy.

Lucy is amazingly gifted at reading my mind. In fact, it’s a little scary how she seems to know what I want before I ask for it. This ESP, or whatever gift she has been blessed with, has saved me on more than one occasion. I’ll never forget how she interrupted me during a meeting with Mrs. Franklin to remind me of something that saved that account. She also kept me out of the doghouse at home by purchasing perfect Mother’s Day and anniversary gifts for Louise.

While I certainly will miss Lucy’s contributions to our workplace, I am most sad for our clients. Everyone loves Lucy, and they are as heartbroken as I am that she is retiring.  

For a teacher

Throughout Mrs. Anderson’s career, she has taught approximately 2,300 students. That means she has graded more than 18,000 essays, 2,300 research papers, and more book reports than you can imagine. Incredibly, her purple flair ink pen isn’t attached permanently to her hand with all of the grading she has done over the years.

But more important than the essays and book reports are the relationships she has formed with her students over the last three decades. She has comforted students who have lost family members and helped kids find jobs. She has written letters of recommendation for scholarships and advised many in their careers. 

On top of her work as an English teacher, she has overseen the publication of the yearbook and newspaper, traveled with students to Europe, ran the concession stand at football games, coached the cheerleaders, and sat through negotiations each year on behalf of the teachers’ union. 

Mrs. Anderson – you deserve a break. We hope you can sleep in each morning, stay up late reading novels each night, and travel the globe without the fear of losing a kid. Congratulations on your retirement!

For a family member

It’s hard to imagine our Dad without a job. This place has been a part of his routine for so long that he may show up on Monday simply out of habit. In fact, we may have to put a sign on the back of his front door reminding him to stay at home. 

And Dad loved every minute of it. Unlike most people, Dad never complained about his job. In fact, when we prayed as a family before each meal, Dad often expressed thanks for this company and his job. 

But, we are thankful that he can now stay home. He’s worked hard for a long time and deserves a break. But don’t worry – he won’t be sitting around for long. My siblings and I all have lists of home repairs that only Dad can do. We’ve also scheduled a few fishing trips over the next several months.

Thank you for inviting my siblings and me to this retirement party. It’s been a lovely day. I only wish Mom could have survived long enough to see Dad retire. She was always so proud of Dad for everything he accomplished. I’m sure she is smiling down on us right now. 

Funny retirement speech

Christopher has many gifts and talents. And he has contributed a lot to our company over the years. He’s been the top salesperson for twenty-three out of the twenty-five years he has worked here. He has worked hard to streamline our processes to work smarter, not harder. He has also been a leader in our industry by representing us in front of the state legislature. 

Even though I can easily provide you with a long list of awards and accolades, he will forever be known in this office as the person who was always misplacing his stuff. We found his keys by the copier, his wallet next to the giant fern in the back room, his raincoat on Mitch’s desk, and his water bottles – everywhere. It’s always been a mystery to everyone how someone absentminded can perform in a high-pressure job so well. 

So, we have purchased a tile tracker system to help you keep track of all your stuff on behalf of your retirement. Now that you won’t have an entire staff of people keeping track of your personal belongings, we think this might help. It may also keep Louise from killing you during your first week at home.

Retirement: The Next Stage in Life

As we stand on the precipice of one chapter ending and another beginning, we must recognize and celebrate the journey that brought us here. Whether you’re the one stepping into the golden years of retirement or honoring a colleague making that leap, words are powerful. A heartfelt speech can encapsulate years of dedication, camaraderie, and growth.

Retirement isn’t just about saying goodbye to a job. It’s about acknowledging the passion, identity, and pride that one has in their career. For many, their career is a significant part of their life’s narrative. 

As you craft your speech or pen down your thoughts, remember to celebrate this dedication. It might take a bit more effort, but the impact of genuine appreciation will resonate deeply, marking a memorable transition into the next exciting phase of life.

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Amazing Retirement Speeches Examples & Writing Tips

Writing memorable retirement speeches: expert tips & examples.

Writing your retirement speech seems daunting? You are not alone. In this post, our professional speechwriters share techniques for writing a truly memorable speech.

People with whom you've worked for years have become an important part of your professional and personal life. You have spent more time with your coworkers than with your family members, and they witnessed your achievements as well as rough times. Thus, you'll want to craft a heartwarming retirement farewell speech to thank everyone for the good times spent together.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to writing a good retirement speech for any situation. The duration of the speech and what to include will depend on your relationships with coworkers, how many years you have spent in the company, and the corporate culture. In this blog, we have summarized the main principles for writing a great retirement speech plus some examples for your inspiration.

If writing isn't your forte and you still want to express your co-worker with a memorable retirement speech, get professional help. On our website, you can order a custom retirement speech at a pocket-friendly price. Share what you'd like to include in your speech, and our expert will find the right words for your important event, keeping your speech professional yet powerful and emotional.

Two memorable retirement speech examples

If you are looking for sample speeches for your retirement party or the final meeting at the office, check out the examples below. You can customize them a little, or use them as an inspiration to write your own speech.

Formal retirement speech

This example of a speech of a person retiring has a formal tone and is focused on their professional achievements. It also expresses sincere gratitude towards colleagues and reiterates important professional highlights.

Funny retirement speech example

This humorous speech won an international speech contest decades ago. If you want to draft an informal speech, pay attention to the structure and tone of voice in this example.

Professional tips on what to say in your retirement speech

As you give a speech for your retirement celebration, things can easily go wrong. Some people get carried away and use unprofessional jokes and personal stories that make others feel uncomfortable. Others prepare thoroughly, but their speech lacks warmth and emotion. Here's how to compose a speech that will sound professional, appropriate, and sincere.

Keep it on a positive note

Not all companies can boast a positive working environment and strong relationships between the co-workers. Even if your boss had anger management issues and some coworkers were toxic, do not bring this up on your retirement day. Focus on the positive side of things - you can think of some good moments during your fulfilling career which are worth mentioning. If coworkers failed to become your second family, compliment them on their work ethic and mention the results you've achieved as a team.

Be grateful

As you spend time creating your speech, devote at least one paragraph to expressing gratitude. Thank your boss, people that worked next to you every day, and mention a few people you had strong relationships with. You may even share a short story about some project or achievement. If at least one family member is present, thank them for supporting you in your career as well. To make a lasting impression also mention what you've achieved with the company, what challenges you faced, and who helped you along the way.

Mind the event and the audience

You will want to adapt the content of your speech depending on where the event will take place and how many people will be present. Obviously, the text of the speech for a company-wide meeting with two hundred people and a small gathering in your office will be different. In the latter case, you can keep your speech less formal as if you were speaking to close friends, but do not forget to keep it professional. If speaking for a larger audience, you might want to leave insider jokes out and focus on things that everyone in a room will understand.

Choose the right tone

If you work for a company that encourages a laid-back environment, casual clothes, and informal team-building events, it is absolutely fine to come up with a funny retirement speech. Your colleagues will appreciate it and see it as a sign of warm, friendly working relations. On the flip side, if you work in a serious organization with a formal professional culture, such as an investment bank, law firm, or a government institution, it is best to keep your speech formal and polite.

Share your ideas for retirement

The public opinion about retirement today is different from that of twenty years ago. Now, not everyone is looking forward to receiving a gold watch and a calm time off work. Your retirement speech will look even better if you share plans for the future. Tell what you'd like to do during your next chapter of life: consult and mentor others, start a new exciting hobby, or maybe travel. Let your friends and family know that you are looking forward to something new and interesting.

Use visual aids

Another good idea for retirement speeches is supporting them with visual aids. You can prepare a presentation with pictures from corporate events or celebrations, or share a video of some memorable moments. If you launch a presentation during your speech, it will evoke a bigger emotional response and help you truly connect with an audience.

Get professional help

After you've written a draft of your speech, ask for honest feedback from a trusted person, such as a family member or a friend. They will look at the text with a fresh eye and recommend what to add and remove. If you truly care about the success of your speech, consult a professional speechwriter. They will review your speech with a professional perspective and recommend improvements that will work better with the auidence.

Just a kind reminder: at SpeechPaths, you can order a customized speech for any special occasion, including a retirement speech. A dedicated expert will work one-on-one with you to craft the text that you'll be satisfied with. Hire an expert to write a retirement speech with a 20% discount today - chat with us to claim your code!

How to give a retirement speech for an employee?

If you aren't the one who is retiring and need to pay tribute to a retiring coworker or subordinate, you'll want to prepare thoroughly. The most important thing about such speeches is to keep them personalized. Find features specific to that person, and focus on these features as you bid farewell to them. You may not only pay homage to a retiree's work, but also mention their personality, complement their sense of humor, the ability to solve unsolvable problems, or a high-achieving spirit. Thank the person for their contribution to the company - after all, they have devoted years of their life to it, and their achievements need to be mentioned.

Preparing to give your retirement speech

Composing your speech is only a half of the journey. You also need to deliver it efficiently to impress the audience. Since public speaking is a challenge to many, take these tips from professional speech writers into account:

Prepare and practice

It is hardly possible to deliver a persuasive speech without proper preparation. Start practicing your speech days in advance: read it aloud, and work on your gestures and body language. You will have plenty of time to hear how your words actually sound, and add/paraphrase something to make the speech better. Moreover, as you practice delivering the speech to your family, you will feel more confident speaking to the audience on your big day.

Dress for success

A polished professional attire will help you feel more confident in everything you do, including public speaking. You don't need to be overdressed, but wearing a new pressed suit and freshening your nails will make you look more considerate during the official retirement day.

Master techniques to stay calm

Many people find speaking to a large crowd intimidating. You may feel anxious, have sweaty palms, and other symptoms of stress. To calm down before the speech, try breathing exercises - the simplest one is counting to four as you breathe in and out. Other methods to beat anxiety include meditation - give yourself a few minutes before getting on stage - and visualization techniques. Imagine the room and the audience, and plan every move in advance. Keep a glass of water at hand in case you have a sore throat - you can also take a sip or two when you need to pause.

Keep it brief

Whether delivering the speech is an exciting perspective for you or you are anxious about it, remember to keep it short. As a rule, you need to keep it between 5 to 10 minutes. No need to pay tribute to every person you worked with and recollect every workplace situation. Mention only the most important milestones and people who played a key role in your professional life. Time yourself as you practice speaking at home to keep your speech at optimal length and not to bore the audience.

Choose a point you will look at

If you don't deliver speeches frequently, your eyes may start to wander as you speak, and you can get distracted or simply feel uncomfortable. Here's the solution: find a point that you will look at as you speak. This can be a clock or a poster on the opposite wall. The audience will think that you are looking at the back row, and you'll be able to concentrate on your speech entirely.

As you write and deliver your retirement speech, do not forget about the main thing: have fun during the process! Speeches may sound stressful, but eventually your retirement party will become a memorable day that will evoke only positive emotions.

Get professional help with your speech, anytime

At SpeechPaths, we deliver insightful and memorable speeches for every professional and personal occasion. If you lack inspiration to draft your retirement speech, let us know and our expert will prepare a speech tailored to your requirements in as little as 12 hours. We offer amazing prices for first-time customers - contact us and make sure!

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What should you say in your retirement speech that will blow everyone’s mind?

Let's discuss what to say in a retirement speech to make your retirement celebration truly memorable..

Retirement is an important milestone in any person’s life, marking the end of a long and fulfilling career. It is a time to reflect on the years of hard work, accomplishments, and growth, as well as a time to look forward to the future and the new opportunities that lie ahead.

For many, retirement is also a time to celebrate with friends, family, and colleagues, often at a retirement party or a smaller gathering at the office. In any case, retiring is an event to remember so a retiree-to-be is often expected to give a retirement speech. In this article, we will discuss what to say in a retirement speech and offer some retirement party speech ideas to make your retirement celebration truly memorable.

1. Express gratitude

The first thing to include in a retirement speech is a heartfelt expression of gratitude to those who have supported you throughout your career. This might include your colleagues, friends, family, mentors, and even your employers. Take the time to acknowledge the ways in which these people have helped you grow and succeed, and thank them for their contributions to your journey. If your family is present you may want to thank them too (your wife and kids might have also supported you in many different ways).

2. Reflect on your accomplishments

Next, take some time to reflect on your accomplishments throughout your entire career. Consider the challenges you faced, the goals you achieved, and the impact you made in your field when giving the speech at the retirement party. Share some of your proudest moments and talk about the lessons you learned along the way. A retirement speech is a great opportunity to inspire yourself and others and celebrate achievements. 

3. Share your vision for retirement

As you move into retirement, you likely have some ideas about what you want to do with your newfound free time. Take some time to share your vision for retirement with your audience in your retirement farewell speech. Whether you plan to travel, volunteer, take up a new hobby, or spend time with family and friends, let your audience know what you’re looking forward to in this new chapter of your life.

4. Offer advice and wisdom

As someone who has spent a long time in your profession, you likely have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to share with others. Take some time to offer advice to your colleagues and other professionals who may be starting out in their careers. Share some of the lessons you learned and the strategies that helped you succeed .

5. Finish on a high note

Finally, end your farewell speech on a positive note. Thank your audience once again for their support, express your excitement for the future, and perhaps share a quote or a piece of wisdom that has inspired you throughout your career. This is a time to celebrate all that you’ve accomplished and all that you have yet to achieve.

Ideas on what to say in a retirement speech

Here are some ideas to help you deliver a meaningful and memorable retirement speech:

•         Talk about your hobbies, interests, and future plans
•         Share a personal story that illustrates your career journey
•         Include humor, but keep it tasteful
•         Use quotes or sayings that inspire you
•         Use visual aids, such as photos or videos
•         Keep your speech concise and to the point
•         Speak from the heart and be sincere
•         Practice your speech beforehand to feel confident and comfortable

Samples of Retirement Speech

These are some retirement thank you speech examples that you can check out. Perhaps they will help you to write your own:

Retirement speech example 1

Greetings to all. As I stand here today to say goodbye to my coworkers and the company, I find myself experiencing a wide range of emotions. To begin, I would like to express my gratitude to my employer and coworkers for the privilege of working with such a fantastic bunch of individuals.

I started out as an intern here 30 years ago and am now the Chief Operating Officer. It’s been an amazing ride, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to have contributed to the company’s success. I have gained a great deal of knowledge from my coworkers and boss, and I will always value the time spent with them.

During my stay here, I oversaw the launch of a new software system that drastically improved our data management. Additionally, I participated in a number of community outreach projects that ultimately aided in fostering better ties between the company and the local populace. These accomplishments were made possible thanks to the assistance of my team and Jill, the best and most professional CEO I ever had the pleasure to work with.

My future goals include seeing the world and spending more time with my loved ones. I’ll never forget my experience here, and I’m going to miss the company and my coworkers. I have no doubt the company will go on to greater and greater heights, and I eagerly anticipate hearing about its future achievements.

To wrap up, I’d like to thank everyone I worked with and everyone who helped me along the way at this company. We appreciate the chances, the help, and the time spent together. I want to leave you all with a piece of advice that’s served me well throughout my career: always strive for excellence, never give up on your dreams, and cherish every moment of your life. In closing, I want to say that it has been a pleasure to collaborate with you and that I wish you the best of luck in your future undertakings. It’s much appreciated.

Retirement speech example 2 – a heartfelt one

Good afternoon, everyone. I would like to thank you all for being here today to celebrate my retirement. It has been an incredible journey, and I have had the pleasure of working with so many amazing people over the years.

When I first started my career, I never imagined I would have the opportunity to work with such a talented and dedicated team. From the early days of my career to my current role, I have learned so much from my colleagues and mentors.

I would like to take a moment to thank a few people who have had a significant impact on my career. First, I would like to thank my mentor, John. John took me under his wing when I was just starting out. From the sleepless nights to the long hours of working, I will never forget the lessons he taught me.

I would also like to thank my colleagues, who have become like family to me over the years. We have shared so many memories and experiences, and I will miss working with each and every one of you.

As I move on to the next phase of my life, I am excited to explore new opportunities and spend more time with my family. I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing the continued success of the organization.

Thank you all again for your support and friendship over the years. It has been an honor to work alongside you.

Retirement speech example 3 – a short one

Good afternoon, everyone. It is hard to believe that my time at this amazing organization has come to an end. It has been a privilege to work alongside such dedicated and talented individuals, and I am proud of all that we have accomplished together.

As I move on to the next chapter of my life, I am excited about the new opportunities that await me. Retirement is not the end but a new beginning, and I plan to make the most of it.

I want to take a moment to thank my colleagues and mentors for their unwavering support and encouragement. Thank you all for being a part of my journey. Your friendship and support have been a constant source of inspiration, and I will cherish the memories we have made together.

In closing, I want to leave you all with this quote by John Quincy Adams: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.” I hope that, in some small way, I have been able to inspire and lead throughout my career. Thank you all again for everything.

Retirement speech example 4 – a funny one

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, and cherished friends, today I stand before you today with a heart filled with mixed emotions — sadness, joy, excitement, a bit of fear and the sudden urge to break into the Macarena. Yes, my friends, after countless years of battles with the office microwave that seems to have a vendetta against popcorn, the moment has finally arrived—my retirement day!

As I look back on my time in this incredible workspace, I can’t help but chuckle at the memories we’ve created together. From the infamous stapler thief incident (seriously, who steals a stapler?) to the epic battle of wills between the printer and our IT department, we’ve experienced a myriad of unforgettable moments that could easily fuel a sitcom.

Let’s not forget the legendary office parties where we showcased our secret talents, like Terry from accounting who revealed his hidden breakdancing skills, and Linda from HR who surprised us all with her impressive opera singing (we still have the shattered windows to prove it).

But amidst the laughter and hilarity, I want to express my sincere gratitude to each and every one of you. You’ve been more than just coworkers; you’ve been a second family—a dysfunctional, wonderfully quirky, and occasionally noisy family that I’m proud to be a part of.

As I bid farewell to this place, I leave you with a few pearls of wisdom. Remember, never trust a microwave’s estimation of cooking time, because it will always deceive you. And when it comes to office politics, well, just pretend to be Switzerland—neutral, diplomatic, and occasionally armed with chocolate.

Thank you all for the memories, the laughter, and the friendships that have made this journey worthwhile. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a recliner, a piña colada, and a never-ending playlist of ’80s classics. Cheers to retirement, where the only deadlines we face are deciding which tropical destination to visit next!

In conclusion, delivering a heartfelt retirement speech can be an emotional and challenging experience. However, by following these retirement speech tips, you can create a memorable and meaningful speech that will leave a lasting impression on your colleagues and employees. Remember to keep it personal and sincere, and don’t forget to thank the people who have been part of your career journey.

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Retirement Speech Examples and Ideas That Get It Right

As a fomer educator and mom blogger who's a mother of four, Kristin shares helpful tips and advice on a variety of topics.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

It is customary for a person retiring to give a speech, either at a retirement celebration or at a final meeting in the workplace. If writing a retirement speech isn't really in your wheelhouse, don't worry! It's easy to write a retirement speech when you create some focus for your words.

Original Sample Speeches for Retirees

If you need a little more guidance on writing your retirement speech, check out these original sample speeches. They might help inspire your own speech or might be appropriate to use with a little customizing. For help with downloading or printing these sample speeches, refer to the Guide for Adobe Printables .

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A Grateful Retirement Speech

Over the last few decades, you have probably spent more time with your co-workers than you have with your own family! For better and sometimes for worse, your co-workers have been a huge part of your career and your life. They have celebrated weddings, babies, and promotions with you. They likely comforted you in times of loss and were there when you hit a rough patch on the job. Use your retirement speech to pay homage to the people you worked with and the family and friends who supported you throughout your working years. This speech format focuses on gratitude and acknowledges the speaker's coworkers and family.

A Serious Retirement Speech

Some workplaces are fun and relaxed environments to spend your days, and others have a far more serious tone to them. If your workplace does not appreciate humor, or if you feel more reflective than funny about this milestone, a serious speech can be a good way to close this chapter of your life. As long as a serious speech is heartfelt and doesn't feel cold or removed, it will surely do the trick.

A Funny Retirement Speech

Some retirees want to go out with a bang! These people need to nail a speech that engages the audience with humor and brings smiles to faces surrounding him/her. During the final moments of your career, remind your colleagues, superiors, friends, and family why you were so much to be around for all those years and how much they will miss your banter around the watercooler. This speech is meant to prompt laughter while poking a little fun at the people who must return to work on the next workday. When creating a humorous speech, be sure to balance jokes and jests with grace and class. Humor speeches should never tread into the waters of offensive.

Related: Funny Retirement Quotes for a Hilarious Send-Off

Giving a Retirement Speech for an Employee

If you are the head honcho at work and you have an employee retiring, you will want to send him/her off with a well-thought-out, carefully planned speech.

Tailor the Speech to the Employee

The person who is retiring has given the company you both work for decades of his/her life. Show the retiree respect by handcrafting a speech specific to them. If they are full of personality, jokes and have a fun-loving spirit, then write up a funny speech full of hilarious memories and inside jokes. If they are better known for their serious side and hard work ethic, play on those qualities, incorporating them into a more serious speech.

Retirement Speech Etiquette

When you're writing your retirement speech, keep in mind the culture of your workplace. While you want to inject your own personality into it, you don't want to deliver a speech that will make other people uncomfortable. Follow a few key etiquette tips to ensure that you stay in your lane and don't veer too far off course during your speech.

Stay Positive

A retirement speech is not the appropriate opportunity in which to air your grievances. Even if you're leaving a workplace that you largely considered toxic, filled with co-workers who might benefit from anger management training , you should focus on the positive. Do your best to drum up the good and steer clear of the bad. Thank your co-workers for their passion or comment on the promptness that the company functions under.

Time the Speech Accordingly

How long your speech runs largely depends on the venue and tone of the event. If you're standing up in a meeting to say farewell, you should take less time than if you're giving your speech at a formal celebration intended only to celebrate your retirement. Ask the event coordinator how much time they set aside for your speech and stick to the time allotted. If no guidance is given otherwise, for a formal celebration, aim for a speech lasting under 10 minutes. For a quick stand up in a meeting, you should not exceed three minutes.

Read the Room

Consider your audience. Your now-former colleagues are likely comprised of older and younger people who are now all sitting in the venue awaiting your words. When you deliver your speech, regardless of the speech style and tone, be sure to address those who have been with you for many years, as well as newcomers to the workplace. Pay homage to everyone surrounding you and make sure all feel like a part of your journey.

Be Grateful

Thank all the people who helped you along the way in your career, including those outside the workplace such as mentors, family, and close friends. It's important to thank the people within your workplace responsible for pulling together your retirement celebration. Before drafting a retirement speech, draft a list of must-mention people. If you have many people to include in your tribute, consider grouping some folks into a department. For example, you could say, "I could not have made it through my days without the dedication and assistance of the ______ department."

There is nothing wrong with asking a trusted person to review your speech before you finalize it. They may come up with ideas or insights you didn't think of. Allow a few people to read through your speech or listen to you read through a draft of your speech before finalizing it. Take their thoughts into consideration. You don't have to change up your whole speech on account of others, but ponder their suggestions in the very least.

Delivery Tips

Speaking in public can be difficult for people unaccustomed to it, but there are steps you can take to ease your anxiety.

Dress and Dazzle

Put on something clean and pressed, give yourself a shave or freshen up your nails and makeup. You don't have to look like a supermodel, but you do want to put a bit of thought and consideration into your look on your retirement day. For many in the audience, this is the last time they will see you, so give them a bit of a show. Sometimes when people put on their best, they feel more confident and ready to take on challenges that lie ahead.

Practice Beforehand

Nobody expects you to memorize your speech, but you should familiarize yourself with your completed speech before you try to deliver it to a crowd. Reading it aloud beforehand may reveal portions that will make you emotional, and you don't want to get caught off-guard by getting choked up. Knowing that you are not going into a cold read can help reduce your anxiety levels on your big day.

Breathe Deeply to Calm Down

As you wait to deliver your speech, take slow, deep breaths to help relieve your nervousness. Envision your lungs and balloons and fill them with air, then forcefully exhale. This type of breathing can help calm you.

Have Water Handy

The body reacts to stress in different ways. If you feel anxious about delivering a speech in front of people, your throat might tighten up. A cup of water by your side allows you to take a moment, clear your throat, and continue with the speech. Additionally, it's a good idea to have tissues or a handkerchief nearby in case you tear up.

Choose a Go-To Focal Point

Find a spot on the furthest wall of the room and make that your go-to focal point. It might be an exit sign or a clock but look at your focal point when you have trouble looking at your audience - especially if the people close to you are getting emotional and you're afraid you might become emotional too. The other benefit to the focal point being at the furthest wall is that it will appear to your audience as though you're simply looking at the back row instead of staring at an exit sign or clock.

Remember: The Speech Won't Last Forever

This speech, daunting as it may seem, is only 3-10 minutes of your entire life. You WILL get through it, and then it is over, tucked away to memories for the rest of your days. Remind yourself that you will only be standing and speaking for a short span of time, and then you will be done. Even if you envision a million things going wrong, the reality is that none of it likely will. Our concerns are always worse than the reality.

Enjoy the Moment

You worked hard to get to the point of retirement . Nobody expects an Emmy award-winning performance from you, so try to enjoy this one final work task of thanking the people who helped make your retirement possible.

Retirement Speech Examples To Send You Off In Style

Your retirement day speech is an opportunity to say goodbye to those you have worked with over the years. While it may not be a long speech, it typically includes thanks, stories about the past, what you look forward to, and motivation for other workers. Here are some retirement speech examples.

Your retirement represents a significant milestone in your life – it’s a time to bid farewell to a long and fulfilling career and embark on a new chapter of well-deserved relaxation and exploration. Delivering a retirement or farewell speech is a poignant and cherished tradition, offering an opportunity to reflect on the past, and share simple messages of gratitude with colleagues, friends, and family.

This article presents a collection of inspiring retirement speech examples designed to help retirees craft their own memorable farewell addresses. Whether you’re seeking a touch of humor, heartfelt appreciation, or words of wisdom, these speeches will provide you with valuable guidance to create a lasting impression at your retirement celebration.

Table of Contents

What Is The Purpose Of A Retirement Speech?

The purpose of a retirement farewell speech is multi-faceted and holds significant meaning for the retiree and their audience. Here are a few key purposes:

• It provides an opportunity for the retiree to  reflect on their career journey, accomplishments, and the experiences  they have had throughout their working years. It serves as a celebration of their contributions, highlighting milestones, successes, and the impact they have had on their profession.
• They are a platform to  express sincere appreciation and gratitude to colleagues, mentors, friends, and family members  who have supported and influenced the retiree through their career. The retiree can acknowledge the individuals who have positively impacted their career and express heartfelt thanks for their guidance, collaboration, and friendship.
• A retirement speech often includes  valuable insights, life lessons, and wisdom  gained over the course of a career. Retirees can share their experiences, offering advice and inspiration to those still working or embarking on their own professional journeys.
• Retirement speeches  mark the transition from work to retirement .  They allow the retiree to say goodbye to their colleagues and wish them good luck for the future.

What Do You Say When Retiring From A Job?

When retiring from a job, here are five examples of what you can say to make a memorable retirement speech:

• Expressing Gratitude:  “Today, as I bid farewell to this incredible chapter of my life, I want to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you. Working alongside such talented and dedicated individuals has been an absolute privilege.”
• Reflecting on Accomplishments : “As I reflect on my career, I am filled with immense pride and gratitude. Together, we have achieved great milestones and overcome numerous challenges. From groundbreaking projects to moments of triumph, each accomplishment has been a testament to our collective work ethic, dedication, and passion.”
• Sharing Personal Growth:  “During my years of service here, I have grown not only professionally but also personally. This organization has provided invaluable opportunities to learn, evolve, and hone my skills. I am forever grateful for the mentorship, guidance, and encouragement I have received.”
• Offering Words of Wisdom : “As I step into retirement, I would like to share a few words of wisdom I have gathered along the way. Cherish the relationships you build; they are the true wealth of any career. Embrace change with an open mind, as it often leads to new and exciting possibilities.”
• Looking to the Future:  “While this is a bittersweet moment, it also marks the beginning of an exciting new chapter. Retirement is not the end but rather a fresh start filled with endless possibilities. I wish each of you continued success and fulfillment in your journeys.

What Do You Say At An Employee Retirement Party?

An employee retirement party provides a more relaxed and celebratory atmosphere than a formal work setting.  While the overall tone may be casual, you should still deliver a thoughtful and meaningful speech containing the right words.

Here are some points to consider for your speech at an employee retirement party:

• Begin by  warmly welcoming everyone  to the retirement party and expressing gratitude for their presence.  Acknowledge the retiree and highlight their significant contributions and achievements throughout their career.
• Take a moment to  reflect on the retiree’s career journey and milestones.  Share anecdotes, stories, and memorable moments that showcase their impact on the organization, colleagues, and the broader work community.
• Express your appreciation to the retiree  for their dedication, hard work, and the positive influence they have had on others. Recognize their accomplishments, leadership, and how they have contributed to the company’s success.
• Invite colleagues and friends to share their own memories  and well wishes for the retiree. Create an open and supportive environment where attendees can express their gratitude, share funny or heartwarming stories, and extend personal messages of appreciation.
• End the speech by inspiring the retiree for the next chapter of their life.  Encourage them to embrace their new beginning with excitement, explore new passions, and enjoy well-deserved relaxation.

What Should You Thank Your Boss For In Your Retirement Speech?

When expressing gratitude to your boss in your retirement speech, consider thanking them for the following:

• Express appreciation for your boss’s  guidance and mentorship  throughout your career. Acknowledge their role in your professional development, whether through their advice, expertise, or willingness to share knowledge.
• Thank your boss for  providing opportunities to grow and advance  in your career. Recognize their trust in your abilities and their support in challenging assignments or promotions.
• Express  gratitude for the support and encouragement your boss provided  during your tenure. Recognize their role in boosting your morale, providing constructive feedback, and offering a nurturing work environment.
• Acknowledge your boss’s advocacy  for your achievements and recognition. Thank them for their efforts in highlighting your contributions, whether it was through promotions, awards, or public acknowledgment.
• Thank your boss for their leadership and the positive example  they set throughout your career. Express appreciation for their dedication, vision, and commitment to fostering a productive and thriving work environment.

What Do You Say In Your Retirement Speech?

Here is a template you can use as a reference for your retirement speech:

• Get things underway with a warm greeting and express gratitude to the audience for their presence.
• Share your excitement and gratitude for the opportunity to address everyone on this special occasion.
• Set the tone for the speech by mentioning the significance of the moment and your emotions surrounding retirement.
•  Reflect on your career journey – from the early days to the present.
• Share key milestones, achievements, and memorable moments that shaped your professional life.
•  Highlight the growth, challenges, and lessons learned along the way.
• Extend heartfelt gratitude to colleagues, superiors, mentors, and team members for their support and contributions.
• Acknowledge the friendships, camaraderie, and collaborative spirit that made your career enjoyable and fulfilling.
• Express gratitude for the trust, opportunities, and guidance you received throughout your career.
•  Share personal anecdotes, stories, or lessons learned from your professional experiences.
•  Offer words of wisdom or advice to colleagues and future generations in your field.
•  Reflect on the impact your career has had on your personal growth and development.
•   Extend well wishes to colleagues, the organization, and the industry as a whole.
•  Express optimism for the future and excitement for the next chapter of your personal life.
•  Share your retirement plans, whether pursuing new hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or embarking on new adventures.
•  Conclude the speech by expressing gratitude once again and reiterating your appreciation for the support and memories created.
• Offer a final heartfelt message of thanks, leaving a lasting impression on the audience.
•  End with a positive and inspiring note, encouraging others to cherish their careers and make the most of their professional journeys.

Retirement Speech Examples

Here are a few great retirement speech examples that you can use as inspiration for crafting your own farewell address:

Example 1:  Humorous and Appreciative

“Good morning, everyone! Today is the day I officially join the ranks of the retired. First and foremost, I want to  thank my colleagues for tolerating my questionable jokes and putting up with my endless requests for office supplies.  Your laughter and patience made the journey worthwhile. I also want to e xpress my deepest gratitude to my wonderful team.  Your dedication and hard work have been the driving force behind our successes. You’ve made this rollercoaster ride of a career incredibly fulfilling.”

Example 2:  Reflective and Inspirational

“Dear friends and colleagues, as I stand before you on this momentous day, I can’t help but reflect on the incredible journey we’ve shared. It has been an  extraordinary adventure from the early days of uncertainty to the triumphs we celebrated together. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, the friendships I’ve formed, and the growth I’ve experienced.  Remember, every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. Embrace change, take risks, and keep pushing the boundaries. Your potential knows no limits.”

Example 3:  Heartfelt and Appreciative

“Today, I am filled with immense gratitude and a bittersweet mix of emotions.  I want to express my deepest thanks to my colleagues, who have become my second family. The unwavering support, encouragement, and friendship we shared are truly priceless.  I am indebted to you for making this workplace feel like home. Thank you to my mentors and superiors for believing in me and helping me realize my potential. Your guidance has shaped my career and instilled a desire for excellence.”

Example 4:  Wisdom and Advice

“As I bid farewell to this remarkable chapter, I would like to share a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve gathered along the way. First,  remember that success is not measured solely by professional accomplishments but by how you influence others. Be kind, compassionate, and empathetic in all your interactions.  Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks and embrace new opportunities. It’s in these moments of uncertainty that we truly grow. Cherish the relationships you build along the way – they are the true treasures of a fulfilling career.”

Adam Howarth

Adam covers the topic of Public Speaking for Digital Authority. From his first experience of oratory with his school debating society to his more recent experiences of promoting the local business scene in Wrexham, Wales, he has always been involved in public speaking.

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Giving Your Perfect Retirement Speech

You’re about to retire and your employer just announced your retirement party date. 

It’s official — it’s time to start planning your retirement party — from ideas to invitations — and celebrate!

Except… you feel a pang of anxiety creep in as you realize:

You need to give a retirement speech…

Before you start to panic, we’re here to help – this guide walks you through everything you need to know about giving a retirement speech that will leave your audience laughing, crying, and remembering. 

After all, a retirement speech is more than just a farewell.

It’s a celebration of years of hard work, a reflection of the journey you’ve been through, and an exciting hello to the new adventures that await. 

Not to mention, it’s also your chance to express gratitude , share memories, and maybe even inspire someone else in their career journey.

So, let’s head into the first step on how to give your perfect retirement speech.

#1 Do a Creative Brainstorm Session

As cheesy as it sounds, having a solid brainstorm session before you begin writing your milestone retirement speech is worth the dedicated effort. 

Retirement is a momentous occasion that deserves a proper sendoff — and that means having a speech prepared that really captures the essence of your time with the company. But where do you even begin? 

With so many memories and experiences to draw from, it can be overwhelming to try and encapsulate it all. That’s why brainstorming first is the way to go.

If you’re looking for brainstorming techniques that spark creativity , try some of these ideas (popularized by organizations yet relevant and effective for any topic):

• Starbursting or mind mapping – to give your ideas some structure and central theme
• The idea napkin – to simplify a central theme and build from there
• Figure storming – to put yourself in another’s shoes and ask your version of “what would Abe do?”
• Rapid ideation – to throw in a range of ideas without judgment  

Either way, consider the milestones you’ve achieved, the people who have supported you, and the memories that have shaped you. 

Think about the future, too — what do you hope to accomplish in your retirement? Who do you want to become? 

Take some time to think about what new adventures you want to embark on and what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. 

Once you’ve brainstormed all the wonderful memories you want to share in your retirement speech, the next step is to prepare an outline.

#2 Prepare an Outline

An outline is like a roadmap that helps you stay on track and organized as you share your thoughts. 

After you’ve poured out all of your ideas from the creative brainstorm session, use an outline to break down your thoughts into sections, making it easier to organize and deliver your message cohesively. 

Plus, when you write things down on paper, it’s so much easier to sift through your ideas and memorize them later on.

You can break your retirement speech ideas into sections like:

• The starting point — this is where you share the beginning of your career journey. It’s a chance to reflect on where it all began, maybe even share a funny or inspiring story about your first day or job.
• The milestones — here, you highlight the significant turning points in your career. These could be promotions, challenging projects, or even hardships that shaped your professional growth.
• The relationships — acknowledge the people who made your career meaningful. From mentors to colleagues, clients to friends, share anecdotes that showcase the bonds you’ve formed.
• The lessons learned — share some wisdom you’ve gained over the years. These could be professional lessons or personal growth insights, which could inspire others at their own career crossroads.
• The farewell — this isn’t just a goodbye; it’s a celebration of what’s yet to come. Go over your retirement plans and your dreams for the future.

And this is just an example of an outline that’s based on chronological happenings. There’s no right or wrong way to do this; it’s your story, told your way. Just organize it into a nice outline flow.

#3 Include Personal Anecdotes 

As you prepare to bid farewell to the workforce and embrace retirement, it’s only natural to feel nostalgic and reflect on all the memorable moments you’ve experienced throughout your work life. 

Perhaps there was a project that presented a seemingly insurmountable challenge, but you and your team persisted and eventually conquered it. 

Or maybe there was a hilarious incident that still makes you chuckle to this day, even though it happened years ago. 

And who could forget the nervous excitement that comes with starting a new job? 

Regardless of the topic, your personal storytelling is not just a way to entertain your listeners, but it’s also a way to showcase the good times, the bad times, and everything that came in between. 

Carmine Gallo researched some of the most popular TED Talks and found that personal stories accounted for 65% of their content.

So it’s worth showcasing personal storytelling in your retirement speech. Your stories can have a similar effect on your audience, reminding them of the ups and downs of being in the workforce, and how it all comes full circle in the end. 

#4 Express Gratitude

On top of your personal storytelling, writing a retirement speech is the perfect opportunity to express your gratitude and appreciation for those who have made a difference in your life. 

Whether it’s your team who has stood by you through thick and thin, mentors who have offered guidance and support, family who has provided a listening ear, or even the organization itself that has given you opportunities to grow, take the time to express your heartfelt thanks. 

This is especially important if you want to maintain ties to some of your colleagues and coworkers after retiring from the workforce. In fact, one study about gratitude, reciprocity, and relationships , suggests that gratitude promotes relationship formation and maintenance.

Either way, a retirement speech without gratitude is simply incomplete. So, let your appreciation shine through. 

#5 Inject Humor 

Before you get too sentimental, remember that humor can go a long way in making your farewell speech a memorable one. 

Don’t be afraid to delve into your treasure trove of funny stories or throw in some witty remarks — it’s sure to have the crowd giggling and smiling in no time. 

And don’t worry if you’re not a stand-up comedian, the best jokes are often the simplest ones . Research has shown that people respond well to humor that’s easy to follow and relatable. 

So, keep it light, keep it funny, and channel your inner comedian.

#6 Conclude with Positive Impact 

As the last words of your retirement speech echo through the room, you may find yourself feeling a swirl of emotions. It’s understandable to feel bittersweet as you close a chapter in your life that has shaped much of who you are. 

But this isn’t a time to give in to overwhelming sentimentality. 

Instead, take a deep breath and focus on the positive moments that have defined your career. Remember the joy and fulfillment that you experienced over the years, and let those feelings of hope and satisfaction guide your final message. 

As the University of Minnesota reminds us, a strong conclusion is essential to signal the end of the speech and help the audience remember the main ideas. So, take this chance to really explain the importance of your message and inspire those around you with a positive closing theme.

It’s the perfect ending to a stellar career and the perfect start to your next adventure .

Retirement Speech Ideas & Examples

Crafting a memorable retirement speech is an art form that’s unique to you . It’s about striking the perfect balance between professional reflections and personal anecdotes. 

Here are some examples that can serve as inspiration for your own speech:

#1 Funny Retirement Speech

If you want to add some humor to your speech, then we’ve got you covered with this example:

“I stand before you today with a heart full of mixed emotions. Part of me is saying, “Finally! I can sleep in on Mondays!” while another part is wondering, “What on earth will I do with all this free time?”   You know, they say, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” That’s a quote from A. A. Milne, better known for his creation Winnie-the-Pooh. And it rings true today. Working with all of you was a real pleasure. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, haven’t we? Like the time I accidentally sent that confidential email to the whole department instead of just my boss. Or when I spilled coffee all over the new carpet on its very first day. But hey, who’s counting?   [personal storytelling]   To wrap up, I’m too happy to be profound, too relieved to bestow any life advice upon you, and too old and tired to stand here for long, making a speech. I’ll think of you all every time I roll over and go back to sleep at 7:30 a.m. on a Monday. Thank you for all the memories, and remember, I’ve retired from work, not from life. So, don’t be strangers!”  

#2 Sentimental Retirement Speech

For a more heartfelt version, check out this retirement speech example:

“I’ve had the privilege of working alongside some of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met.   Firstly, I want to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you. You have not only been my coworkers but also my mentors, my guides, and my pillars of support. You have been my second family, and for that, I am eternally grateful.   Whether it was late nights working on projects or celebrating our successes, each moment has left an indelible mark on me. And each one of you has enriched my life in so many ways, and I hope that in some way, I’ve been able to do the same for you.   [personal storytelling]   As I step into this new chapter, I carry with me the lessons I’ve learned here, the friendships I’ve made, and the memories we’ve created. I want to leave you with this thought: The beauty of life lies not in its length, but in the love and respect we share with those around us.   So, thank you for sharing this journey with me, for your wisdom, your guidance, and your friendship. Remember, this is not goodbye. It’s just a see you later. So, until we meet again, take care of yourselves and each other.”  

#3 Formal Retirement Speech

And if you’re looking for a more formal approach:

“ Thank you for joining me today as I announce my retirement. Over the past three decades, we have achieved milestones that were once distant dreams. It has been an honor to work with such dedicated individuals.   I am filled with gratitude for the countless opportunities I have been given, the invaluable lessons I have learned, and the unforgettable memories I have created. Each one of you has contributed to my journey in your own unique way, and for that, I will always be thankful.   [personal storytelling] I want to express my deepest appreciation to all of you. Your hard work, dedication, and commitment to excellence have not only made this organization the success that it is today, but also made my journey an incredibly rewarding one.   As I step into the future, I am excited about the opportunities that await me. However, I know that I will always carry a piece of this wonderful journey with me.   Thank you for the privilege of working with you, for the camaraderie, and for making this chapter of my life such a memorable one. I look forward to seeing all the remarkable things you will undoubtedly continue to achieve.”

Leaving on a High Note

Everyone’s retirement speech is going to be unique and special to them. 

But there are some common elements that you should keep in mind when preparing your own:

• #1 Have a creative brainstorm session — let those memories, thoughts, and emotions pour out onto the page – there’s no right or wrong here, just your unique journey
• #2 Prepare an outline — think of it as your roadmap, guiding you from one milestone to the next
• #3 Include personal anecdotes — sprinkle in storytelling of your personal anecdotes, share those behind-the-scenes moments that brought laughter, tears, and everything in between
• #4 Express gratitude — it’s your chance to acknowledge those who’ve walked this journey with you, to let them know how much their support has meant, and to say thank you from the bottom of your heart
• #5 Inject humor — lighten the mood, share that funny story, let your audience laugh with you 
• #6 Conclude with positive impact — leave your listeners with something positive to remember you by

Whether you choose to end your career with a funny toast, an emotional thank you, or a formal goodbye — your words can leave an indelible mark on those who are lucky enough to hear them and remember you by. 

Retirement Speech FAQ

What to say at a retirement speech for someone else.

When delivering a retirement speech for someone else, try to focus on their achievements, dedication, and contributions. Use personal anecdotes that highlight their individual character and work ethic. Keep it positive, motivational, and heartfelt. For example:

“John, your tireless dedication and exceptional leadership have been an inspiration to us all. Your journey has, not just been about milestones, but also about the lives you’ve touched along the way.”

How long should a retirement speech be?

A retirement speech should ideally be between 5-10 minutes long. This duration allows enough time to cover all the important points without dragging on.

How to start a retirement speech?

Starting a retirement speech can be as simple as a warm greeting followed by an introduction. You might even want to begin with a light-hearted joke or an inspiring quote. Either way, make it feel authentic. For example:

“Good evening everyone, I’d like to start by saying, retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living!”

How to end a retirement speech?

Ending a retirement speech should come with a strong positive close, and include a blend of gratitude, reflection, and anticipation for the future. Here’s an example: 

“As I close this chapter and open a new one, I want to express my deep gratitude for the journey we’ve shared. We’ve laughed together, faced challenges together, and celebrated victories together. I’m proud of the work we’ve done and the impact we’ve made. Thank you for being a part of my journey. Here’s to new beginnings and the exciting adventures that lie ahead!”

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Retirement Life Coach

As a certified retirement life coach since 2018, Cyn has helped thousands of older adults turn their retirement years into remarkable years full of growth, purpose, and passion. Through her signature program Rewire My Retirement, she helps people achieve their best life across the 5 Rings of Retirement, which covers topics Growth, Community, Health, Giving Back, and Finance.

Cyn combines specific life coaching tools, neuroscience, and her extensive background in marketing (spanning 17 years) to make a powerful impact with Second Wind Movement – an organization dedicated to providing educational resources and coaching for seniors.

With meticulous research, insight, and passion, Cyn’s mission is to usher in a new wave of positive experiences for generations of retirees.

As a certified retirement life coach since 2018, Cyn has helped thousands of older adults turn their retirement years into remarkable years full of growth, purpose, and passion (beyond the stereotypical financial planning side of retirement). 

She combines specific life coaching tools, neuroscience, and her extensive background in marketing (spanning 17 years) to make a powerful impact with Second Wind Movement – an organization dedicated to providing educational resources and coaching for seniors.

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How to Write a Retirement Speech – Samples & Ideas

Amanda Green was born in a small town in the west of Scotland, where everyone knows everyone. I joined the Toastmasters 15 years ago, and I served in nearly every office in the club since then. I love helping others gain confidence and skills they can apply in every day life.

Like other types of speech, a retirement speech takes preparation. You can dedicate one to a friend or colleague or deliver a message as the retiree. But how do you write a retirement speech?

My guide will help you give sample speeches for a retirement party. Discover the steps you need to follow, mistakes to avoid, and some tips to improve. I even included an example to follow.

What Is a Retirement Speech?

A co-worker can give a retirement speech to a retiree or a retirement speech by a retiree.

Someone who has worked with the honoree for a long time can extend their congratulations for racing this unique milestone at the end of their career. They usually share interesting information while showing respect to the person who contributed significantly to the workplace.

A retirement speech can also be given by the person retiring. They may thank their fellow employees for the beautiful years and for helping them grow in the company.

These occasions are usually informal. That means you can deliver a casually funny retirement speech that’s the opposite of typical, formal speeches. But it is always helpful to plan what you will say in the speech so that everything flows smoothly.

What Makes a Good Retirement Speech?

A speech is a critical medium for presenting information and entertainment to a group of people. Here are some qualities of an excellent retirement speech.

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Focuses on the Honoree

Whether it’s a formal or informal retirement speech, it’s essential to focus on the honoree . Do not focus on yourself but on the accomplishments and values of the retiree.

A speech should be free from ambiguity so everyone can understand it easily. Make sure to break up run-on sentences and reduce wordiness. Using the active voice also improves the clarity of the speech.

Originality

It’s okay to insert famous quotes in your speech. But it’s also important to customize your message to the person you are honoring. Do not give a generic retirement speech you copied from Google or a speech builder.

Conciseness

A person who served in your organization deserves a long speech. But avoid repetitive, cliche , and filler words. Don’t bore your audience with a 30-minute speech.

Interesting

An attention-grabbing story in the introduction is a quick way to make your speech enjoyable. Other methods include using examples, inserting quotations, and citing jokes.

Use of Body Language

An outstanding speech is not only about verbal communication but also comes with necessary body language. Use non-verbal cues with your hands, mouth, and eyes.

How Long Should a Retirement Speech Last?

The length of the retirement speech depends on the time allotted for this part of the event. It usually lasts around 5-10 minutes and comprises 600-1000 words.

Some people do not need to read from their manuscripts at this length. They may prepare and practice using only their outline. But if you’re a beginner, you can bring an entire manuscript when delivering.

Retirement Speech Writing Steps

Follow these six steps to creating a retirement speech.

Step 1: Gather information

The first step to creating a retirement speech is to gather information about the person’s life from different people. Hopefully, you can get extraordinary stories from them and a core idea of what you will put in the speech.

Gathering information will be a breeze if the retiree has been a long-time employee. You’ll find out how multi-faceted the person is. To their fellow employees, the person might be friendly and good-humored. But to their supervisor, the retiree might be intelligent and strategic.

Try gathering as much information about their personality as possible. But remember the key details. Try asking the following questions:

• How long has the retiree been in the industry?
• How long has the retiree worked in the company?
• What were their contributions to the field or company?
• What were the awards they received in the course of their career?
• What were their previous positions?

Step 2: Learn All the Special Qualities of the Person

Your retirement speech should not only highlight the person’s career. It must also involve legendary stories or perhaps funny stories from their personal life.

For example, what are their personal hobbies? If the retiree likes to golf, you might try a golf-related theme for the party. If the retiree is an English teacher, try inserting English puns in your speech.

Here are some questions you can ask during interviews with people to craft a fantastic retirement speech.

• What are their nicknames?
• What is the name of their current spouse and kids?
• What would people say is the best trait of the retiree?
• How has the person made an exceptional contribution to the workplace?
• What lessons did the people learn from the retiree?

However, some people want to keep their private life private. You don’t have to snoop around when gathering information about the retiree.

Step 3: Write an Outline

The entire speech writing process and public speaking stage are much easier if you start with an outline.

You have to decide how the farewell speech will sound. Do you want a heartfelt speech, a humorous speech, or a mix of both? Once you have decided, it’s time to brainstorm what to include in each part.

• Introduction – This part should include an attention-grabbing story. It’s an essential part of memorable retirement speeches.
• Body 1 – Name one or two traits of the person. Are they great listeners? Do they always have the most brilliant ideas in meetings? Are they approachable to everyone?
• Body 2 – Discuss the person’s entire career journey. This should be easy if you’ve worked with them for a long time or gathered enough information. Make it clear what the person has attained and the differences they made to the company.
• Body 3 – Share personal lessons you’ve learned from the person. A short story can be used.
• Thank the person – Wish the person well in their retirement. End the speech with a memorable punchline and a “Happy retirement!”

Step 4: Write Out the Speech (Optional)

Skip this step if you’re already a skilled public speaker. Some practiced orators can even deliver humorous speeches on the spot without stuttering.

But if it’s your first time delivering a retirement speech for a boss, it’s best to write it down. Start with retirement speech starter headlines. It can include interesting daft stories, milestones, or a philosophy.

But overly preparing a speech can make it sound less heartfelt. Make sure you’re writing an authentic speech that feels natural to deliver.

You also don’t want to use the word “I” very often. Otherwise, it will give the impression of a boastful speech.

Step 5: Get Feedback

Seek people’s help before delivering a grateful retirement speech in front of a large crowd. Try asking someone who knows the retiree well to listen to your speech. Ask them about their thoughts on the fun story you shared, and make sure to consider their alternative ideas.

It also helps to ask an editor to fix any spelling or grammar issues. They can help you keep the speech more concise and engaging.

Step 6: Record a Video of Your Speech Before You Give It

The last step before offering a tribute speech to a retiree is to record yourself. Check your appearance when you’re talking. Are you smiling or not? Was your brow creased? This step is essential if you don’t always talk in front of a large audience of people.

Retirement Speech Tips

Now that you know the correct procedure for speech-writing, here are some tips you can follow.

Choose a Speaker Who Knows the Person Well

If you were chosen as the speaker, then you must have enough knowledge about the person’s entire life. One advantage of knowing the person too well is that you instantly have various content ideas for your speech.

This person can be someone other than the head of the organization. It can be their work best friend, business partner, or family member.

Focus on the Honoree

Your priority is to think about how the person will feel. Do you want to focus on their success, positive attributes, or their future success? Brainstorm some characteristics or key points you want to include in the tribute speech.

You may evoke emotion in this speech by highlighting a sense of fondness. But don’t make it too dramatic, especially when your relationship was formed in the workplace.

Mentioning memorable moments improves bonds with the honoree. Let them know what you will miss most about them.

Keep It Short—But Not Too Short

An important person in the company deserves more than three minutes of tribute. But that doesn’t mean you must include every detail of their previous career. Keep it short and sweet at around five to ten minutes to not bore the audience.

Use a Simple Framework

Keep your outline organized and simple to clarify the main message. It should serve as a blueprint to track your entire speech.

You already know the five parts of a retirement speech. However, you can still make it simpler using these parts:

• Greet the audience and thank them for coming to the party.
• Express why everyone is gathered.
• Talk about how this person made a difference in the company and industry.
• Talk about how this person made a difference in your personal life.
• Extend best wishes on the next chapter of their life.

Balance the Past and Future

Refrain from assuming that the best days of the retiree are over. They are likely to be excited about their retirement. So instead of making a eulogy-like speech, deliver one that covers both the past and future.

Carefully Use Humor

You’ve probably heard hundreds of speeches with funny punchlines. But you should always plan your humor around your audience. Avoid jokes that rely on profanity and controversial topics. No one also wants to hear you put the retiree down harshly.

As with any other type of speech or presentation, preparing is always worth it. Try talking with people who have worked closely with the retiree. Look for common themes, then start crafting.

I also don’t recommend spending too much time discussing the career highlight reel. The audience might already know the honoree’s professional development in minute detail. Focus on their impact, values, and the larger lesson they taught you.

Don’t Read Your Speech

It’s okay to bring an outline or manuscript as long as your eyes stay longer on the audience. Tell the speech from the heart, take deep breaths, and know exactly what you will tell next.

Stand Up Straight

Maintain a good posture as you walk across the stage and give the speech. It shows confidence in your discussion, making the audience more interested.

Avoid These Retirement Speech Pitfalls

Overlooking.

Are you talking too much about yourself? Is your anecdote losing focus on the retirement speech’s goal? Make sure your address aims to make the retiree feel appreciated. The conclusion or final part of the speech should be direct gratitude toward the individual.

Joking Too Much

Using humor in speeches can be challenging, especially if your audience is a bunch of serious people. Although sharing a boys’ night out story is tempting, others might not appreciate it. That said, do your research on the audience to avoid awkwardness.

Becoming Out of Touch

No, retirees don’t sit on their porches all day reminiscing about their previous job. Many people continue working or start their own businesses. The correct term for this is “active retirement.” So avoid retirement cliches in your speech that will make you sound tone-deaf.

Joking about old age may have been common in earlier retirement speeches in an attempt to make a funny speech. But today, it’s considered insensitive. Avoid offensive words toward the retiree and the audience.

What Are Some Good Retirement Quotes?

Consider these thirty-five examples if you need some retirement quotes for your speech.

Inspirational Quotes for Retirement

• “Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.”
• “Half of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
• “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontague
• “Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J. A. West
• “Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked.” – Catherine Pulsifer
• “Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for.” 
• “Retire from your job, but never retire your mind.”
• “Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind.”
• “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” – Vince Lombardi
• “Choose a job that you love and you won’t have to work another day.” – Confucius
• ​”Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
• “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”​ – Bill Waterson
• “Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.” – Patrick Foley

Funny Retirement Quotes

• “He who laughs at the boss’ jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.”
• “Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.”
• “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.”
• “There really are two lives we live. The first life and then the second life when we realize we only have one life.”
• “The best part about being retired is never having to request time off.”
• “My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii.” – Julius Sharpe
• “I’m always announcing my retirement. I’m still not retired.” – Dick Van Dyke
• “How do you know it’s time to retire? It’s when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it!”
• “During your work life, you pick up a lot of bad habits… like working.”
• “The world’s longest coffee break is often referred to as retirement.”
• “Now Fridays aren’t the best day of the week anymore… they all are!”
• “I never reveal my age, but I do let people know I’m retired. They can just guess my age from that statement.”

Retirement Wishes

• “Wishing you the best retirement ever! Enjoy the new chapter of your life and enjoy being your own boss.”
• “It is not easy to say goodbye. But, I will hold on to the fond memories of working with you. I hope that this retirement brings you joy and peace.”
• “Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!”
• “We wish you the best retirement possible.”
• “You have been a great boss. I appreciate the effort you put into mentoring me.”
• “You have reached an incredible level of freedom.”
• “I can’t believe I will be working as you nap. Enjoy your retirement!”
• “Cheers to a lifetime of weekends!”
• “Goodbye to the coats and ties.”
• “May your dreams come true as you begin your retirement.”

Retirement Speech Sample

Here’s an example of a short but heartfelt retirement speech you can give to someone you want to pay your respects to.

I have witnessed many friends come and go to this school. But today, we have gathered to show our love and respect for Hartford Elementary School’s English teacher, Bradley McAdams. After working with him for more than 30 years, I don’t think I have the right words to say about his inspiring impact, dedication, and character.

Bradley, or, as many people call him, “Mr. Brad,” has handled over 1,000 students. That includes 10,000 essays checked, 80 English lessons taught, and 60 literary works recommended.

But beyond the schoolwork checked, Bradley has made meaningful relationships with his students over the past few years. He became a good friend to individuals who need comfort and a family to children who want to feel a sense of belonging.

We are also proud of him for publishing his dissertation in 2018 and obtaining a doctorate in 2019.

Mr. Brad, you are one of the most inspiring educators in the teaching profession. You made a lasting impression on the world through your grit. You deserve a break! We hope you get enough rest, travels, and pampering in this new stage of your life. Congratulations on your retirement!

Craft a Well-Written Speech

Hopefully, my guide helped you learn how to write a retirement speech. Whether it’s for a friend or boss, that person deserves appreciation and support on their special milestone.

Another popular category for these speeches is when it comes to friends, family, service professionals, or a college commencement speech. Learn how to create an inspiring speech for different people!

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How to write a retirement speech

Content ideas for a great retirement speech.

By:  Susan Dugdale  | Last modified: 01-31-2024

The prospect of writing a retirement speech either for yourself or for someone else might seem daunting.

The reality is, fortunately, that it's not as hard as it first appears to be. ☺

Follow the steps outlined below and you'll finish with a speech you'll be happy to give, and listeners will be happy to hear.

What you'll find on this page:

• how to collect up material for the speech - content prompts to use to brainstorm *
• an example of a completed brainstorm
• notes on tone, theme and speech length
• how to write and test the speech
• links to an example retirement speech and a collection of suitable quotations you may like to use

* brainstorm - the name given to an invaluable prewriting technique used to generate lots of potential ideas about a topic

Beginning the process of writing

Before you even attempt to write you need to collect your ideas together.

The most efficient way I know to do this is to do a brainstorm. (Scroll down to see an example.)

First grab yourself a large sheet of paper or open a new document.

Give yourself a time limit

Before you begin set yourself a time limit - say 30 minutes.

Then use the retirement speech starter headlines and the content suggestions *  next to each one to kick start your creative juices.

Put down as much as you can under each heading. Do NOT self edit. Nothing is too trivial! You don't have to spell properly, or write complete sentences. All you have to do is allow your ideas to flow. 

You will rearrange, expand, trim or delete them later but for now it's important you put whatever thought occurs down, to capture it before it disappears.

* You can see these headlines and content suggestions in action in my sample brainstorm. 

Retirement speech starter headlines

I remember ... Suggestions: starting out 'x' years ago, what was most important to the company, what I looked like back then, what the pinnacle of technological sophistication was  ...

Colleagues ... Suggestions: those who've been influential, friends, major campaigns/accounts worked on together ... What special qualities will you miss about these people?

Tributes ... Suggestions: Who have you admired and why? Who has inspired you? Name and thank them. Especially those who contributed majorly in either little or large ways, making your work life easier or more pleasant; from the cook in the canteen who regularly kept back a sandwich just for you, or the lift operator who always held the door for you up.

Milestones ... Suggestions:  significant personal achievements, the firm's major achievements ... 

Anecdotes ... Suggestions: amusing daft stories about either yourself or perhaps the people you worked with. (But mostly featuring you, because people appreciate a person who is self-aware and secure enough to make fun of themselves, one who doesn't need to call out blips in behavior, or lapses in logic in others in order to make themselves look good.)  

The future ... Suggestions: Personal future:  what I'm looking forward to, where I'll be, what I'll be doing ... The firm's future:  where do you see it going? What challenges does it face?

Philosophy ... Suggestions: the values that have been important over the years, still are and why

Getting it together

Now that you have the raw material you're ready to shape it. But before you begin to write the speech you have  three  more important elements to consider.  What you decide will have an impact on the final outcome. 

1. What tone do you want your speech to have?

Because many retirement speeches are delivered over a dinner or at a party, most people strive for a balance of light-hearted self-deprecating humor, sincerity and respect. Put yourself in your colleagues' shoes and ask yourself what you would appreciate and enjoy listening to. 

• Do you want to hear a diatribe about the opportunities the company missed through bureaucratic bungling over the last humpteen years?
• Is a detailed personal brag sheet charting your meteoric rise appropriate?
• What about a breakdown of the company's culture?  
• Or talk of in-group events, or people, that nobody, aside from a small section of the audience, either understands or knows?
• Or worst of all, an embittered harangue citing the numerous instances (large and small) when your contributions were maligned, and your leadership potential was overlooked by varying nincompoops, but principally the halfwits who comprise the senior management team?  

By all means keep the speech real. However make it more about the positive aspects of the business and the people who work there rather than yourself.  

2. Consider using a theme

A theme is useful to tie all the segments of your speech together. It's a core idea uniting them, and giving them cohesion.  

Here are some ideas you could make work well:  team effort (through uniting one achieves more),  friendship, loyalty, the value of ongoing education, that youth is wasted on the young, humor, the importance of believing in one's dreams ...

3. How long are you going to speak for?

How long you are expected to speak for governs how many words you write.

A relatively informal retirement speech to be given at a social gathering is usually 3 - 5 minutes long. That's between 625 - 750 words depending how fast you speak. * Much more and you run the risk of losing people's attention.

In a formal setting you may be expected to speak for 10 minutes, and then some.

If you are unsure of what's being asked of you, find out. Whatever the time limit, its good practice to finish within it. In the words of Franklin D Roosevelt, USA's  32nd  President - March 4, 1933 – April 12, 1945: " Be sincere; be brief; be seated."

* (Most people speak at a rate of between 120 - 150 words per minute. See my page on  speech rate  if you want more information.)

Read an example of a retirement speech

Sometimes it's incredibly helpful to read a sample leaving speech before starting to prepare one of your own. This example is an example  retirement speech for a teacher . It was written using the guidelines on this page. 

And now write

Go back through your notes, select what you want, put it in order and write exactly as if you were talking out loud to a respected friend.

You'll need an opening, middle and conclusion.

Remember the time allowance. You are better to make a few points well rather than try to cram your speech full to fit everything in, and then rush gabbling through in order to meet the time constraints.

If it worries you that you've had to leave out either people or events, say so. Your audience will understand. 

Borrow the words of others - use a quotation

Look through this large selection of  retirement quotations .  You'll find sharply witty, warmly funny, inspiring, as well as some sad thoughts about retiring. Take any that appeal to weave through your own words. Maybe you'll find just the opening or ending you want!

If you're writing about a colleague retiring

If you are writing a farewell or retirement speech about a colleague remember: "Do unto others as you would have done to you".

Your job is make the person feel valued and appreciated for who they are and what they've brought to the workplace. If you're the only speaker remember you're talking on behalf of your workmates too.

Pull one or two of them in on the brainstorming process. If you don't know, find out what they're intending to do once they've left work. Dig around to give yourself a great collection of information to pick and mix the best from.

Test your speech on colleagues

To gauge whether or not what you've written will be well received or has covered all the most important points, firstly put yourself in their shoes and secondly, read the speech through to several colleagues whose judgement you respect.

Be very aware of revealing personal or sensitive information. The person retiring because of ill-health or for special family considerations may not want it made public. Ask before speaking. If you don't feel you can ask, then you probably shouldn't be saying anything about it.

Other useful reference pages:

• h ow to write speeches : step-by-step detailed instructions with examples
• how to rehearse your speech : absolutely necessary if you want to give a polished presentation
• tips on using humor effectively : avoid the traps that trip the unwary

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Farewell Retirement Speech Examples

A farewell retirement speech is hard work! How do you sum up all your years and experiences at work in just a few words? The following suggestions for structuring your speech should help you, and there are short examples at the end of this page.

A good method for a retirement speech is to start with a line like "What will stand out in my heart and mind as I look back at the past X years of working for X?" Then describe with affection some of the characters that you have worked with, or some good moments or memories. You could also describe some of the changes that have occurred in the industry or business, with the line "When I started in business..." - even describing how things were called different names etc, and ending with the funny line "And remember - change is inevitable - except from vending machines". You could then bring it forward in time to how things are today. Catch phrases like "it seemed like a good idea at the time" for a number of funny things that you did, which were mistakes others can learn from.

Another angle is to describe a project that you are passionate about, and its successes while thanking everyone that was part of it.  That way you are mentioning your legacy but also encouraging others to look after it now that you are going, as well as ensuring those who deserve credit are getting more buy-in to the project - see the example below for this.

Try not to give advice - but if you do, make it general and stick to just one point.

If you can't add personality, keep it safe with best wishes for everyone!

Does retirement feel like a looming road of emptiness? Have some therapy and tips for your sad goodbye .

Retirement speech 1:

Hello Everyone,

As most of you know, today is my last day at the company. I will be riding off into the proverbial sunset to ultimately throw my energies into who-knows-what. In the short term I will be focusing on enjoying my family, providing Anne with support whilst she grows her own business, and involving myself in the renovation project of our home. Importantly, the decision to leave has been entirely of my own making. The time is simply right for me to, at least temporarily, “hang up my boots, turn the camp oven upside down and pack away the prospecting gear”. To all of the wonderful people whom I have had the opportunity to work with over the past almost 10 years - Thank You. The times shared, friendships forged and the incredible successes which we have enjoyed have been an extraordinary part of my life. I am very proud of what we have achieved and they have been times I will never forget.

I would like to encourage you all to continue to value and support diversity in our workplace and community. Diversity is something special. It is something very personal to us all, while at the same time it is something we all share. Diversity can enhance and support all our business decisions. It is something to be valued and cherished.  I’d like to take this opportunity to thank every member of Human Resources and Aboriginal Liaison departments.  With the support of our amazing supervisors, liaison officers, trainers, and the wider community, we have built our program into something extraordinary, the likes of which is rarely seen in any workplace outside metropolitan areas, if anywhere at all. The quality of our program is a testament to countless hours of hard work, collaboration, inspiration, and fun. It’s the result of the support willingly given by all stakeholders in our amazing company. We should all be incredibly proud of what we’ve achieved.

As a good mate said during a chat recently, “everything has a beginning and an end”. The timing to end this chapter seems about as right as it could be. I wish all of you every success for the future. Stay safe and maintain the passion!

Spice up your farewell speech with some

funny retirement quotes ! 

Retirement speech 2:

Thank you everyone for being here, 

I truly appreciate seeing you all because I can say thank you to your faces.

I've been here for X years, at other companies for another X years so if my maths is correct that makes XX years in the industry.  I can only say that in my time as a worker in the [industry] I have always found there is more to learn and that the moment anyone thinks they know it all, there is a humbling experience just around the corner.  Like now, for me, seeing everyone here.

I can also say that for everyone I have mentored, helped or given advice to, I have also learned from.  Maybe you don't know what I've learned from you - sometimes it has just been that your energy has renewed my own interest or reignited my own passion.  Maybe you have shown me that I don't know anything about admin (ahem, Ramona) and that I am grateful YOU do [pointed look at Ramona]; maybe you have shown me different values to adopt for different situations or given me a different perspective that has been personally helpful.  So don't ever feel that you don't belong wherever you are, you absolutely deserve to be here, and you just haven't realised what you offer.

Coming here every day has always been interesting, and I can say that working in the industry in general has been an adventure.  So my moving on is really just creating space for someone else to have a turn.

And good luck to that person...  [Raise eyebrows, because it has been a hair-raising adventure!]   ...working for that guy! [Waggle your thumb, hitch-hike style, over to your boss who can take a joke, or even better, at Ramona in admin who has been riding you for the past X years.  If you work in admin, point to someone in finance and make the earlier joke about Ramona about someone in finance instead.  Basically your real boss is the company dragon or gatekeeper] .

I hope everyone enjoys their work as much as I have and I wish you all good fortune in your careers!

Now before I finish, I would like to present Ramona with a present which I call The Enforcer [give Ramona an engraved wooden spoon or club] for all her efforts with me over the years.  

Let's all say thank you to Ramona [and on that note, your speech is over with all the attention now on Ramona] .

I think Ramona deserves a big something

for putting up with you -

click for gift ideas - do it!

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Funny Retirement Advice

Poignant retirement advice - retirement never.

Giving funny retirement advice in your retirement speech can add interest and sparkle, but the content and your speech should reflect your personality. You should feel under no compulsion to use jokes, quotes or poems. They are not essential to an entertaining speech. Don ’t try it if you are not confident of your ability to do it well .

Retirement for couples

There is a commercial on Television these days which shows a gentleman, apparently just returned from his office retirement party, walking through the front door and saying to his wife: “Honey, I'’m home ... forever!”  Imagine the look on his wife’s face. And what does he have to look forward to? Happiness? Joy? Relief? The end of a working life! Perpetual unemployment! Deterioration! Stagnation! Decay!  Luckily, most of you people - especially homemakers-don’t have that problem. You never retire. But for all career men and women, my advice is: Avoid retirement as you would poison ivy in a nudist camp. 

From dynamic career to the doldrums

By “retirement” I mean the sudden stoppage of work, going from the dynamic career to the doldrums, from  vigor  to vegetation.  If you are seriously thinking about quitting your job, and have no ready replacement for it, permit me to offer you several practical suggestions: One, don’t quit! Two, keep busy! And three, don’t look back!  First of all, don’t quit! Maggie Kuhn, the founder of the Grey Panthers organisation, once said: “Ours is a throwaway society, and we do it with people as well as machines.”  Unfortunately, sometimes we do it ourselves, when we quit work prematurely. How often have you heard about men and women having heart attacks, shortly after retiring? Why? Because not infrequently, the retirement itself is more stressful than the work it was supposed to replace. 

If I had my say, every pension check would carry a warning: “This retirement may be hazardous to your health.” 

My second point is a corollary to the first: keep busy! You’'ve got to keep working, one way or another. You’'ve got to have a goal in life in order to survive. 

There are a number of options available: employment, leisure, volunteerism...take your pick.  If you choose employment, why not become a management consultant-like everyone else. All it takes is a title, a phone number and 500 business cards. If you need a title, be imaginative. I know an auto mechanic who is now a “vehicle maintenance engineer.” He repairs my Toyota - and drives a Mercedes. If you need a degree, that’s simple for you Toastmasters. All you have to do is complete the Basic Communication and Leadership Manual, and put CTM (Competent Toastmaster) behind your name. For all anyone knows, CTM means “Master of Computer Technology,” and that’s pretty important these days.  Another way to keep busy is by what I call “purposeful leisure.” Too often people think of leisure as the absence of work. Nonsense! It’s productive labour. Do you realise how much green fees and golf cart fees, for example, contribute to the gross national product? Billions! You golfers out there, men and women, tell your spouses that when you get up at four o’clock in the morning.  The best way to keep busy, of course, is by volunteer service . There must be a hundred thousand organisations out there that could use your help right now. They won’t discriminate against you because of your grey hair-or the lack of it, you grey panthers and bald eagles.  If you run out of ideas, try coordinating Speechcraft and Youth Leadership, the finest programs ever invented, for the training of the young - of all ages, and I might add, for the rejuvenation of jaded Toastmasters. 

Don't look back

Which brings me to my third point: don’t look back! James M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, once wrote: “God gave us memories, so that we could have roses in December.” Roses, not regrets. Nursing homes are filled with people who cling to their regrets like security blankets. Don’t look back and look down. Life isn’t a vicious circle. It’s a rising spiral, a cornucopia of opportunities. (Grandma Moses, Buckminster Fuller, Col. Sanders, Pablo Casals and our own Cavett Robert and Roy Graham are models of geriatric initiative.)  Pablo Casals at 90, for example, when asked why he practiced eight hours a day, replied: “I think I’'m improving. Just last week I heard of a Toastmaster who spent his first Social Security check on lessons in hang gliding. That’s the spirit!  What it all adds up to is this: we can’t quit. We can’t retire from life. It’s too precious. We'’ve got to keep working, whether for money, fun or glory. And above all we mustn'’t look back. 

Funny Retirement Advice?  Retirement Never!

It’s never too late to learn-to grow-to create, to do all the wonderful things we had no time for in our youth. This is what the last third of life is about. It’s a time of discovery, when we really begin to see, perhaps for the first time, the providence of God, the love of family, friends and neighbours-even Toastmasters-and sometimes we even catch a glimpse of our own potential...still...to do great deeds.  Life, my friends, is not a candle flickering in the breeze. It’s a torch to light new flames.

Roy was 77 at the time he gave this funny retirement advice. I have found his poignant and funny retirement advice to be a wonderful  retirement gift   to all who have read it since. I hope you enjoy it! This sample Retirement speech is reprinted here with the permission of Toastmaster International Magazine.

.... AND .... if you want to read more great Retirement Speeches, see our  great free gift  below!

Want to hear what other people are doing for an Active Retirement?  Subscribe to my monthly email newsletter,  "Retirement Stories" . Full of new stories and tips on planning for and enjoying an active retirement.

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How To Deliver An Unforgettable Retirement Speech For A Colleague (With Examples)

Hrideep barot.

• Speech Writing

Do you want to deliver a heartfelt speech for a colleague who’s leaving work but are unsure how to do it? 

Don’t worry. You’re not alone. 

For many people, retirement from a place of work can be a very emotional experience. Especially if they’ve been at a place of work for a long time, leaving it–and the people they’ve worked with–can be quite tough. After all, with retirement,  an employee is going to be leaving his or her employment permanently.

And this emotional roller-coaster is not exclusive to a the person retiring. 

Their co-workers, too, can land a seat at it. Especially if they were close to the person retiring or are quite close to retiring themselves. 

But even if you’re not at the front seat of the rollercoaster and simply wish to deliver a nice speech to a friendly co-worker finally leaving the company, finding the right words for the speech can be a confusing task. 

Writing and delivering a speech is a tough job.

A good retirement speech needs to factor in many elements. Farewell speeches are important as they express to the person leaving the place of work gratitude for the effort, time, and experiences they’ve provided to the company. They usually include a person’s past history, achievements, services, etc. And are an essential element of a good place of work.

Don’t worry. 

We’re there to help you. 

What Is A Retirement Speech? 

A retirement or farewell address is a speech that is delivered by or for an individual leaving a work position or workplace. They are often used by public figures like politicians, actors, etc. as a capstone to their career, or as statements from persons giving reasons for their leaving. 

In a workplace, a farewell speech is often given by a junior member of the organization. A friend, colleague, or junior member are a few common choices for delivering a farewell speech. Sometimes, if a person has done remarkable work or has left an imprint on the organization, the speech might be given by a senior member of the company. 

As mentioned above, retirement speeches are delivered to thank an employee leaving a workplace for all the time, effort, and experience that was offered by them to the company throughout their tenure, and is a necessary element of a good and progressive place of work that values its employees.

What Do I Need To Include In A Retirement Speech? 

1. Talk About Their Achievements

Who doesn’t like reminded about the good stuff they’ve achieved in life, right? This can be especially important during a farewell speech, as a way of thanking the collegue for the positive elements that they’ve added to the company over the years. 

While it’s a good idea to add big achievements, you can also make it more special for the collegue by mentioning something small that they might have done that got overshadowed by all the other big stuff. The leaving person might not even be aware of doing it! 

For example, if the collegue was someone who could always make people’s Mondays feel like Fridays, then that’s a pretty big achievement too, right? Make sure to include it in your speech!

2. Narrate Anecdotes and Stories 

What’s an emotional speech without a story or two, eh? 

Anecdotes and stories are not just a great way of making a speech lively and interesting, but they can also make the speech more personal both; for the person leaving and the ones staying behind. 

So, try to include at least 2-3 anecdotes in your speech. 

If you don’t know the co-worker that well or are simply unsure of what to include, you can reach out to someone who was close to the person retiring and ask for their input. 

Regardless, stories have the power to really captivate an audience as long as we use the 3 core elements of

• Characterisation
• Final Takeaway

We’ve elaborated on these storytelling tactics in great detail in this video which I HIGHLY recommend you check out if you have a retirement speech coming up:

3. Don’t Forget The Jokes 

Humor is a great way to level up any speech, and a retirement speech is no exception to it’s charm. Humor works to lighten the overall mood, which can be quite heavy for a day like this. 

So, try to sprinkle a couple of jokes throughout your speech. You can even combine jokes and anecdotes and tell a funny story –maybe a memorable incident that happened with the retiring co-worker in the past!

For more information on how to make your speech funny, check out our article on A Guide To Using Humor In Your Speech.

 4. Add A Personal Touch 

Don’t just copy paste a random speech from Google. Instead, take your time with the speech. Remember that retirement is a cornerstone in most people’s life, and treat it as such. 

Adding little personal details here and there–little quirks that your colleague had, or memorable moments they had at the workplace–goes a great way to make the person in question feel important, liked, and most importantly: appreciated for their efforts. 

5. Talk About Their Personality 

What was the colleague like? What made them different from other people in the workplace? If there was one word that you could describe their personality, what would it be? 

Talking about their personal qualities makes the person retiring more real. It reminds them–and the people listening–that they were not just another part in a corporate machine, but a human being. That is someone with feelings, memories, good days, and bad days–just like you. 

6. Don’t Neglect Speaking About The Future 

While it’s important to give due importance to the past while delivering a retirement speech, it’s also imperative to not neglect talking about what’s ahead i.e the future. Often, people can get so fixated on the good stuff in the past that they don’t notice the amazing stuff coming up ahead. 

Is there something the person leaving always wanted to do, but couldn’t because they were so busy with work? 

Say, did they always want to go to a nature retreat, spend more time with their spouse, or work at that bar at the end of the street? 

Well, now would be the time to bring that up! 

Don’t just ramble on about stuff that’s already done. Talk about the opportunities coming upz too! 

7. Include mementos and gifts 

If a colleague is leaving work–especially if they’re someone who’s contributed a lot to a place–chances are, they’re going to be given a small memento for their work all these years. This can be given by anyone–another co-worker, you, or even higher-ups. 

So, make sure to check in with your co-workers about the status of a memento. If it’s going to be included, you can include a small introduction leading up to the handing of the gift right into your speech end. 

8. When In Doubt, Ask 

This piece of advice can come especially in handy if you didn’t know the former co-worker that well. If you’re unsure whether to include a personal detail or not–or are simply in a dearth of personal information–go ahead and ask someone else for their input. This someone else can be anyone: a close friend of the colleague, a family member, your boss, or even the colleague themself! 

Don’t be shy to ask questions. 

Sample Retirement Speech 

Dear Hannah,

Today is the day you retire from St.Mary’s Public School after over twenty years of teaching English to high-schoolers—most of whom had no interest in learning anything in the first place!

In spite of this hindrance, you never ceased delivering the best you possibly could. When you first started working with us, you were simply a substitute teacher that the students saw occasionally. Remember your first day and the prank that the students played on you?

The entire class banded together and attacked you with a string of questions—none of which had anything to do with English, by the way. But instead of waiting for you to answer, the moment you opened your mouth, the student pretended to fall asleep!

Once you got the hang of it, you turned into a prankster yourself! You played along with the class by listening to a student begin a question but then acted like you’d fallen asleep—just like they had when you were trying to answer—before they finished it.

It was the first time a teacher had chosen to not only indulge their silly pranks but also pranked them right back! Instead of punishing them, you tried to understand them, to relate to them. And you continued trying to do so for the rest of the week.

The students fell in love with you that day, and their admiration for you only grew over the next week. I know this because a few days later when I showed up for class, nobody wanted to learn anything about Shakespeare!

And yet, you not only managed to befriend the students, but you also became friends with the teachers!

You were the only topic of discussion—both, in the classroom and later, in the staff room. In fact, your little stunt with the students had made most of the other teachers realize that they needed to step up their game, too! We had a friendly little competition going after you joined us permanently!

And this was not an isolated incident. Over the years, you have inspired and connected with multiple generations of students and classrooms. So many children have fallen in love with the English language because you taught them to love it.

Just look around the room and you will know that I’m telling the truth—although the crowd could also be because this is probably the last time many of us will get to gobble down your famous baking concoctions!  

Truly, we will miss your cookies almost as much as we will miss you!

You have spent almost your whole shaping the lives of people who would later go on to shape the world. You have given your one hundred percent to the classroom—now it’s time you give your one hundred percent to yourself!

During one of our many, many heartfelt conversations, you told me that when you finally retired, you would love to travel the world with your husband and to get to spend more time with your grandchildren.

 Well, now you can!

And we can’t wait for our Facebook Feed to be spammed by all the pictures you’re certainly going to upload!

Now, we’d love you to have this little token of appreciation for all the work you’ve done for our school.

5 Ways To Make A Retirement Speech (More) Special 

Now that you know all the stuff you need to include in a retirement speech and have an example of how to phrase it in hand, let’s move onto the next step: how to add that touch of uniqueness to your speech and make it truly memorable. 

1. Prepare A Skit

Adding a skit is an excellent way of making a retirement speech memorable. The theme for the skit can be anything. However, make sure it’s relevant to the retiring person’s life. A good idea is to structure the skit around some memorable incident from the person’s time at the workplace. 

It can be a funny incident, or an emotional one, or even an instance when they inspired you! 

If you’re not sure about which incident to pick, try asking someone who’s close friends with the person. The skit doesn’t need to be over-the-top or elaborate. You don’t need to get costumes or spend hours preparing it. Everyone has work to do and deadlines to meet. 

To save time, you can stick to a simple 3-5 minute skit with simple dialogues and few characters. You don’t need to dress up, either. 

It’s the thought that counts, after all. 

2. Make A Video! 

A video is another great way of making a retirement speech memorable. 

To do this, collect videos and photographs or any other material relevant to the departing employee and organize the contents into a small video that you can show either before or after your speech! Make sure the video isn’t too long, and that it has a positive note. 

3. Give Them A Personalized Souvenir 

While a token of appreciation is something they’re going to get from the company’s side, if a co-worker has truly touched your life, then giving them a personalized souvenir from the employee’s side is another great idea to make a retirement day unforgettable. 

The souvenir doesn’t have to be something expensive or over-the-top either. Rather, something handmade or something personalized might be a better idea. 

For example, you can give the employee a jar filled with little note cards that the other employees have written for them. 

4. Switch Up The Format 

Another way to make a retirement speech unique is by switching up the traditional speech format for something more fun! 

Instead, you could write and deliver the speech like a poem–or even a short story! If you want to make things even more interesting, you can turn it into a continuous story by involving a couple of more people with you! However, make sure to check in with the management before you do so, as time constraints or following a standard speech format might be an issue. 

If you want some inspiration on unique storytelling formats and approaches you can use for your retirement speech, we’ve explained a few in simple terms in this video:

5. Coordinate Your Dressing

Is there a particular way your retiring co-worker always dressed? A color or pattern they favored? Or a shirt they couldn’t seem to get rid of? 

Well, now’s the time to use their personality quirks to your advantage!

Try remembering if there’s anything related to dressing sense that set your departing colleague apart, and coordinate with the rest of your colleagues to spruce up as they once did! 

Remember: it’s not necessary to look like carbon copies of your departing friend. You don’t need to stress if your T-shirt is the exact color or pattern as theirs. A close-copy works just as well. 

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Conclusion 

To sum up, writing a retirement speech for a colleague is not as hard as it sounds. Retirement speeches are offered to commemorate a work that an employee has done for a company and are usually delivered by close friends, fellow co-workers, or sometimes even someone higher up. They usually include a person’s past history, achievements, personality quirks, memorable incidents, etc. Add a touch of uniqueness to the mix, and you’re ready to bid adieu to your colleague with a bang! 

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6 Examples of Retirement Speeches and How to Deliver Them

Retirement speeches are a significant aspect of a person’s career journey, marking the end of their professional life and the beginning of a new, leisurely phase. They provide an opportunity to reflect, thank colleagues, and share memorable experiences. This post will provide 6 detailed examples of retirement speeches, along with tips on how to deliver them successfully.

The Significance of a Retirement Speech

A retirement speech acts as a bridge between one’s professional life and retirement. It’s an opportunity to express gratitude, share memories, offer advice, and inspire those left behind. Crafting a meaningful and impactful retirement speech can leave a lasting impression on your colleagues and set the tone for your retirement.

Understanding Your Audience

Before you start writing your retirement speech, it’s important to consider who will be in the audience. Are they colleagues , family, friends, or a combination of all three? Knowing your audience can guide the tone and content of your speech.

Examples of Retirement Speeches

Each of the following examples illustrates a different approach to a retirement speech. The context, tone, and message vary, offering a wide range of choices to suit different personalities and situations.

1. The Grateful Goodbye

Legal Resolution: This speech focuses on expressing gratitude towards colleagues and the organization. It’s important to be specific and genuine in your expressions of thanks.

Read it here

2. The Reflective Farewell

Legal Resolution: This speech takes a look back at memorable moments, experiences, and achievements. Ensure to include both personal and professional milestones.

3. The Humorous Send-Off

Legal Resolution: Infusing humor into your speech can keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable. Be mindful to use humor that is appropriate and won’t offend anyone.

4. The Inspirational Departure

Legal Resolution: This speech inspires colleagues and imparts valuable lessons learned over the years. Avoid making it sound like a lecture.

5. The Short and Sweet Sign-Off

Legal Resolution: If you’re not one for long speeches, keeping it brief yet meaningful is perfectly acceptable. Conciseness is key.

6. The Legacy Leaving Speech

Legal Resolution: This speech focuses on the legacy you’re leaving behind. Be sure to align your legacy with the values and mission of the organization.

More Examples of Retirement Speeches are coming soon…

People Also Ask

How long should a retirement speech be.

A retirement speech should ideally be between 5 to 15 minutes. It’s long enough to convey your message but short enough to keep your audience engaged.

What Should You Avoid in a Retirement Speech?

Avoid speaking negatively about your workplace or colleagues, discussing controversial subjects, and going off-topic. Keep it positive, concise, and relevant.

How to Handle Emotions During a Retirement Speech?

It’s okay to be emotional during your retirement speech. If you’re worried about getting overly emotional, practice the speech several times beforehand to familiarize yourself with the content.

Retirement speeches offer an opportunity to reflect on your career journey, express gratitude, and share wisdom with your colleagues. By considering your audience and the message you want to convey, you can craft a meaningful and memorable retirement speech.

• Read also: Retirement age by country

Read the Examples of Retirement Speeches on the next pages…

200 Hilarious And Heartwarming Funny Retirement Quotes!

As one part of life ends and another begins, humor can be a great friend during the significant change of retirement. Luckily, there are plenty of funny observations out there that capture the joy of newfound freedom, the occasional feeling of boredom, and the diverse experiences that come with this new stage of life.

From swapping deadlines for jokes to enjoying unrestricted naps and rediscovering forgotten hobbies, these funny sayings provide a light-hearted look at the different aspects of retirement. Sharing such wisdom not only brings laughter but also shows understanding and acknowledgment of this unique journey.

Whether you’re looking for a clever remark for a retirement card or just enjoying the fun, I’ve put together a collection of quotes that have warmed my heart and made me chuckle and laugh. Here are a few funny ones to get you started:

Note : Quotes without attributions or an indicated author imply that they are from an unknown or anonymous source.

1. Funny Retirement Quotes For Everyone

Retirement: a world of endless coffee breaks, witty quotes, and hilarious perspectives on leaving work behind. It’s the time to swap deadlines for naps and join the chorus of laughter celebrating freedom, humor, and well-deserved rest. Dive into retirement’s lighter side through these funny retirement quotes.

•  “Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.” 
•  “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” 
•  “Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living.” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.” 
•  “Bye-bye tension, hello pension!” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement is like a permanent weekend, except that you’re not allowed to do anything.” 
•  “Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.” 
•  “The best part about retirement is that you don’t have to worry about getting a promotion.” 
•  “Retirement is when you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” 
•  “You can’t retire from being great.” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” 
•  “Retirement is like a long vacation in Florida. You can’t wait to go, but once you get there you wonder why you ever wanted to leave.

2. Funny Retirement Quotes For Coworkers

Saying goodbye? Spice it up with laughter! Here are some chuckle-worthy bunch of quotes to roast (affectionately) your retiring coworker. From family time (or lack thereof) to missed emails and boss-free bliss, these gems celebrate the lighter side of retirement.

•  “Congratulations on your retirement. Now you’ll have more time to spend with your family and more reasons for your family to avoid spending time with you.” 
•  “We’ll miss you, but at least we have your email address so we can forward you all the work you’re missing.” 
•  “Now that you’re retired, you can finally spend your days doing what you really love: complaining about the weather.” 
•  “You’ve worked hard your entire life, now it’s time to work hard at not working.” 
•  “The one, the only, the legend has retired.” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally tell your boss what you really think of him, without worrying about getting fired.” 
•  “Retirement: It’s like being a kid again, except you have more money, and you’re not grounded anymore.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally start living like a student, but without the exams.” 
•  “We’ll miss you around the office, but at least now we can start taking bets on how long it will take you to come back and visit.” 
•  “Retirement: The time in your life when you finally realize that it’s okay to sleep in on a weekday.” 
•  “Retirement is like a new chapter in your life, except that you’re not sure if it’s the happy ending or the sequel to a horror movie.” 
•  “Now you can finally say, ‘I’m not working for the man anymore’ while sitting at home and watching TV.” 

3. Funny Retirement Quotes For Men

With work behind them, men can finally embrace what they’ve always done best: laugh and seize the day. So let’s raise a toast and celebrate their hilarious journey through these quotes:

•  “Retirement is the only time in your life when it’s socially acceptable to do nothing and get away with it.” 
•  “Retirement: When you stop working at a job and start working on a golf game.” 
•  “Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party, except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up, and you have to spend time with your spouse.”
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally stop trading time for money, and start trading time for fishing.” 
•  “Retirement is like a pair of comfortable old shoes. You don’t know how much you missed them until they’re gone.” 
•  “It’s nap time for you, old-fogey!” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally say, ‘I’m not bossy, I’m the boss!'”
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally start dressing like you’re colorblind, and no one will care.” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally start living your life like it’s golden, or at least brass.” 
•  “Retirement: It’s like being a kid again, except that you have less hair, more aches and pains, and you’re allowed to have a beer with lunch.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you said you were going to do when you retired, but never actually got around to doing. Unless those things involve lifting heavy objects.” 
•  “Retired. Under new management. See wife for details.”  (Recommendation: Matching Merch )

4. Funny Retirement Quotes For Women

Ladies, raise your glasses! It’s time to say goodbye to glass ceilings and hello to endless possibilities! This collection of hilarious quotes celebrates the unique freedom and fun that retirement brings to women’s lives.

•  “Retired: Twice as much husband, half as much money.” 
•  “Retirement is the perfect time to start a new career as a professional grandmother.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop doing all the things you never wanted to do in the first place.” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally stop apologizing for not wanting to go out and party all night long.”
•  “A wise woman once said, I’m out of here, and she lived happily ever after” (Recommendation: Matching Merch ) 
•  “Retirement: When every day is Saturday, except Sunday is actually Sunday.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start reading all those books you’ve been pretending to have read for years.” 
• “Behind every retired man is a retired wife wishing he would go back to work.”
•  “Retirement is when you finally have time to do all the things you’ve never had time to do before. Except for the things that require a lot of physical activity.”
•  “The queen has retired.” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start saying what you really think, instead of what you think people want to hear.” 
•  “Retirement: Because pajamas have always been my true party attire.”

5. Funny Retirement Quotes For Boss

The boss is hanging up the suit and trading meetings for margaritas! It’s time to celebrate their grand escape with some side-splitting retirement humor:

•  “Retirement is the sweetest reward for years of hard work.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you never have to ask for a day off again because every day is a day off.” 
•  “Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party, except that you can’t stay up too late or you’ll get in trouble with your doctor.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally stop pretending to like us.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally start living life at your own pace unless you have a nagging spouse.” 
•  “Retirement is like a long vacation, except that you have to pay for your own drinks.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you always do at the office without the guilt.” 
•  “Now you can finally say: ‘I’ve retired: Not my problem anymore.’” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement is like a new chapter in your life, except that you can’t skip to the end to see how it turns out.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start doing all the things you’ve been telling us you were doing all these years.” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally stop asking yourself if you’re making a difference, and start asking yourself if you’re having fun.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start acting your age unless you’re planning on living forever.” 

6. Funny Retirement Quotes For Doctors

Our beloved doctors are finally hanging up their stethoscopes for good! Time to celebrate their retirement with a dose of medical-grade humor:

•  “Retirement is like a long-term prescription for happiness.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally cure yourself of the profession that has been ailing you all these years.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally say goodbye to patients who never listened to your advice and still blame you for everything.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally stop looking at the clock and start listening to your body unless your body is telling you to go back to work.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop worrying about malpractice lawsuits unless you plan on taking up skydiving.” 
•  “Retirement is like a long-term detox from the stress and pressure of being a doctor.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start prescribing yourself the medication you need to relax.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start practicing medicine without a license, just for fun.” 
•  “Retirement is like a prescription for laughter, so make sure to take it daily.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start taking care of yourself, instead of everyone else.” 
•  “Retirement is like a long vacation from saving lives. Take the time to enjoy it.” 
•  “Retirement is the time when you can finally start taking care of the patient in the mirror.” 

On a side note, you may also want to check out my article: 200 Funny Retirement Jokes, Memes And One Liners for hilarious retirement jokes.

7. Funny Retirement Quotes For Teachers

These hilarious quotes celebrate teachers escaping lesson plans for happy hours, grandchildren, and permanent vacation. From stolen pencils to sundae moderation, it’s time to laugh, relish anecdotes, and savor retirement bliss. School’s out for teachers, humor’s in!

•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop grading papers and start grading life.” 
•  “Retirement is when you no longer have to set an alarm for 6 am unless you want to watch the sunrise.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally put away your lesson plans and start planning your next adventure.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop pretending to like the school cafeteria food.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally start using all those sick days you never took.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally teach your grandchildren all the things you wish you had time to teach your students.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally say goodbye to parent-teacher conferences and hello to happy hour.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop worrying about whether you’re doing enough for your students, and start doing enough for yourself.” 
•  “Teaching is the only profession where you steal supplies from home to bring to work and now, you have to stop committing this petty crime.” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer measured by the number of hours you work, but by the number of hours you play.” 
•  “Retirement is like a chocolate sundae. You wish you could have it every day, but it’s probably not good for you in the long run.” 
• “You know you’re a retired teacher if you’ve eaten all fruits except apples, still hear the phantom sound of the bell, avoid cafeteria-style restaurants, and haven’t used a red pen since marking grades.”

8. Funny Retirement Quotes For Firefighters

No more hoses except the garden kind! Firefighters trade in sirens for naps, griddles for greens, and stress for sunshine. This retirement gig? It’s where heroes swap trucks for carts, swap blazes for birdies, and swap dinner bells for four o’clock feasts! Time to laugh, relax, and let the good times roll with these funny retirement quotes!

•  “Retirement is when you trade in your fire hose for a garden hose.” 
•  “Retirement is when you stop fighting fires and start grilling with them instead.” 
•  “Retirement is like a long, well-deserved vacation after a career of putting out fires.” 
•  “Retirement is when you finally have time to catch up on all those TV shows you missed while you were fighting fires.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally enjoy a campfire without worrying about it getting out of control.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally retire your turnout gear and start wearing Hawaiian shirts every day.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally relax and let someone else worry about keeping the firehouse clean.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally say goodbye to your radio and pager and enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally start working on that bucket list, but without the bucket brigade.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally trade in your fire truck for a golf cart, and still be the hero of the day.” 
•  “Retirement is the time in your life when you can finally stop pretending that you know what you’re doing.” 
•  “Retirement: The time in your life when you can finally start eating dinner at 4 PM.” 

9. Funny Retirement Quotes For Military

Retirement ushers in an era of cake and laughter, a stark contrast to the days of MREs. Push-ups transform into pushing away from tables, a sign of well-earned relaxation. To help them celebrate their retirement and shower them with well-deserved thanks and happiness for their service, send them one or two quotes from this list.

•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop saying ‘hooah’ and start saying ‘whatever.’” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally trade your camo for khakis and never look back.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally admit that the only reason you joined the military was for the free haircuts.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally tell the difference between a rifle and a fishing rod.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally hang up your uniform and start wearing your ‘I’m retired’ t-shirt everywhere you go.” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement: It’s like getting an honorable discharge, only with more cake.” 
•  “Retirement is the moment when you realize you’ll never again have to wear the uniform, but you also can’t remember where you put your civilian clothes.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally start using your own name instead of your rank.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally throw away that old PT belt.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop doing push-ups and start doing push-away-from-the-tables.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally take that knee brace off and let your knees retire too.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally trade your MREs for actual meals.” 

10. Funny Retirement Quotes For Police Officers

With retirement, our honorable cops can now walk around in slippers, drive their own actual cars, and run for anything other than chasing a perp. To get them excited about their retirement, it would be a good idea to send them some funny retirement quotes from this list.

•  “Retirement is akin to an endless vacation where you can play hooky all day long.”
•  “Retirement: the day when you can finally stop counting down to your next cup of coffee instead of a work shift.”
•  “Retirement is the golden era to unleash your hair, free from a uniform hat.”
•  “Retirement is when you can finally swap your handcuffs for the snug embrace of cozy slippers.”
•  “Retirement is the moment you shift from chasing bad guys to chasing the perfect golf swing.”
•  “Retirement is when you can joyously stow away your gun and reel in memorable moments with a fishing rod.”
•  “Retirement is the time to exchange your patrol car for the wind in your hair with a stylish convertible.”
•  “Retirement is when you can entrust the night shift to someone else and relish peaceful evenings.”
•  “Retirement is the well-deserved break where rookies handle the paperwork while you kick back and relax.”
•  “Retirement is when you can finally say ‘I fought the law and the law lost.’” 
•  “Retirement is like a long-awaited stakeout—you’ve been waiting for it for years and when it finally arrives, it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted.” 
•  “Retirement is the liberating moment when you can gracefully exchange your uniform for the cozy embrace of sweatpants.”

11. Funny Retirement Quotes For Cards

Quips for new retirees! Here are some quotes to tickle funny bones and celebrate the sweet freedom of no Monday blues.

•  “Retirement: A long weekend with endless sleep until you decide to eat and shower.”
•  “Retirement doesn’t mean the end; it’s the start of a new adventure-filled journey.”
•  “When you retire, you stop working at a job and begin creating a life where dreams take the spotlight.”
•  “In retirement, you have the chance to read the books you told your coworkers have finished.”
•  “Retirement is that special time when you can honestly share your thoughts about everyone in your company.”
•  “Entering retirement is like experiencing a second childhood, but this time with better toys.”
•  “During retirement, your hobbies are not just escapes from work; they become a serious pursuit of joy.”
•  “In retirement, your job shifts from a career to perfecting whatever sports skills you bragged about having before.”
•  “Retirement is the time when your naps are actually sleep.”
•  “Retirement is like a neverending paid time off but without the pay.”
•  “Retirement: Where ‘I’m too busy’ becomes ‘I can’t be bothered.'”
•  “Retirement is when you can finally relax and work on your dreams as a comedian.”

12. Funny Retirement Quotes For Cake

Cheers to sweet freedom, chasing squirrels, and saying  “bye-bye, tension!” Let laughter flow as you retire from growing up and embrace a permanent weekend filled with pensions and play. These quotes are the cherry on top of your celebration cake!

•  “Finally, a permanent weekend!”
•  “Time to relax and enjoy the ride.”
•  “Farewell, stress, welcome pension bliss.”
•  “No more meetings or deadlines!”
•  “Now accepting golf invitations.”
•  “Retirement: it’s about time!”
•  “Freedom never tasted so sweet.”
•  “Cheers to the golden years.”
•  “It’s never too late to retire from growing up.”
•  “Adios, work! Hello, world!”
•  “Chase joy, not money, in retirement.”
•  “Use beauty products guilt-free in retirement.”

For more amazing ideas for a funny retirement cake check my article: 55 Funny Retirement Cakes .

13. Short Retirement Quotes

Here are quotes that are short and sweet—ideal for texting and eliciting a chuckle or two from your retired friend or family member.

•  “Retirement: Enjoy every day.” 
•  “Retirement is not the end, it’s a new beginning.” 
•  “The best is yet to come.” 
•  “Life begins at retirement.” 
•  “Retirement: A time to live, love and relax.” 
•  “Retirement is the perfect time to start a new adventure.” 
•  “No more work, all play.” 
•  “Freedom at last!” 
•  “Off the clock, off the hook.” 
•  “Retirement: Brag about discounts, not age.”
•  “Now retired! Seeking cuddling and snack assistant. Must love napping.”
•  “Retirement: Live, love, and relax.”

14. Funny Retirement Quotes For Mom

Farewell work, hello sunshine! Let’s celebrate your mom’s grand retirement with laughter and love with these quotes!

•  “Mom’s retired, now she can finally catch up on all the naps she missed while raising us.” 
•  “Mom is retiring, but we all know she’ll never stop working. Now she’ll just work on her tan.” 
•  “Retirement for mom means she can finally trade in her work clothes for yoga pants.” 
•  “Mom’s retirement plan: sleep, beach, cocktail, repeat.” 
•  “Now you have time to wine all day!” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement for mom means she can finally start using all those gift cards we gave her over the years.” 
•  “Mom’s retiring, but we all know she’ll still be bossing us around.” 
•  “Retirement for mom means no more rushing to make dinner after work. She can now take her time to perfect her recipes.” 
•  “Mom’s retiring, but we know she’ll never stop giving us unwanted advice.” 
•  “You’ve worked your whole life for this t-shirt.” (Recommendation: Matching Merch )
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop ironing your clothes and start ironing your wrinkles.” 
•  “Retirement is when you can finally stop saying ‘Yes, sir,’ and start saying ‘Yes, dear.’” 

15. Funny Retirement Quotes For Dad

Dad’s clock retired, laughter activated! Celebrate his grand finale with these chuckle-worthy quotes. These playful jabs are just a taste of the laughter Dad deserves as he chills and relishes his break. So crank the tunes, raise a glass, and celebrate the patriarch’s epic retirement!

•  “Now that you’re retired, remember: You can’t call in sick, you can’t be late, and you can’t quit. Welcome to your new job as a retired dad!”
•  “Retirement: The only day when you’ll need to dress up is Sunday when you have to go to church.”
•  “Retirement is the only time you can say you’re busier than ever while doing absolutely nothing.”
•  “Retirement: when you can finally relax and work on that dad bod.”
•  “Retirement: the pay sucks, but the hours are great.”
•  “Time to start practicing for the senior Olympics.”
•  “Retirement is having the freedom to decide if I want to wear pants or not. Most days, the answer is ‘not.'”
•  “Retirement is when you can finally take the doughnuts instead of busting the doughnut shop.” 
•  “Retirement is like a permanent vacation, except you have to pay for everything yourself.” 
•  “Now that you’re retired, it’s time to retire your dad jokes as well.”
•  “Retiree comes with the responsibility of being more responsible to yourself.”
•  “Now that you’re retired, your new job is keeping the couch from floating away.”

16. Famous Retirement Quotes

Want to boost your quote’s credibility? Choose one with a known author. Here are some stellar examples.

• “The best part about retirement is never having to set your alarm clock unless you have an early tee time.” —Jeff Mowatt
• “Retirement is when you can finally start wearing purple, and nobody will even bat an eye.” —Jenny Joseph
• “Retire from work, not from life.” —M.K. Soni
• “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” —Muhammad Ali
• “Retire from your job, but never retire your mind.” —Catherine Pulsifer
• “Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.” —Harry Emerson Fosdick
• “There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement. I call it bliss.” —Betty Sullivan
• “Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.” —Ernest Hemingway
• “Retirement is a work in progress. You never quite get there.” —Allan Zullo
• “Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” —J. A. West
• “Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.” —Betty White
• “Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.” —Patrick Foley
• “A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.” —Ella Harris
• “I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off.” —Steve Young
• “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” —C.S. Lewis
• “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” —Gene Perret
• “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” —Jonathan Clements
• “Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game, or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you haven’t done in years.” —Steven Price
• “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.” —Jerry Seinfeld
• “There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit… retire!” —Groucho Marx

Let laughter light your own, your friends’, colleagues’, or family members’ retirement! These funny quotes capture the joy, freedom, and quirks of this new chapter. Perfect for a card or a chuckle, they celebrate the unique adventures that lie ahead. Cheers to your golden years and theirs, filled with endless smiles and endless possibilities!

In 2021 we sold our house and most of our belongings and hit the road to travel full time and enjoy our retirement. We spent 2 years full time in an RV traveling the United States. Recently we left the US for travel abroad and we can be found on the beaches and cities of SE Asia.

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15 Hilarious Retirement Poems For The New Retiree In Your Life

So the big day has arrived – a coworker, friend, or teacher you know is retiring.

You want to acknowledge this major milestone , and you know a lighthearted approach is in order for this retiree. 

Or maybe you want to balance your serious and thoughtful words with one or two humorous retirement poems. 

Whether you are making a goodbye speech or writing a card, these funny poems about retirement will send the retiree on their way with a smile and a laugh. 

Funny Retirement Poems for CoWorkers

Funny retirement poems for friends and loved ones, funny retirement poems for teachers, 15 funny retirement poems for the new retiree.

It’s hard to know what to say to someone leaving their career after so many years. It’s a bittersweet moment for the retiree and those around them. 

There will be plenty of sentimental and meaningful words for the retiring person – you’ll likely write or say some yourself.

But you also want to remind them of the humor in this momentous occasion and the life change they are about to experience. 

Read through the retirement poems and funny retirement limericks below, and use them in one of these ways:

• Include one in a special card for the retiree.
• Use one as the starting point for a toast or speech about them.
• Use them as idea starters to write your own funny retirement poem.

You’ve worked with this person for years, and they have been part of your daily life.

Now, as they retire, you want to share words that speak to their years of hard work – or to the free time ahead of them.

Take a look at these funny poems for work colleagues.

1. I Love My Job, by Dr. Seuss

I love my job, I love the pay. I love it more and more each day. I love my boss; he/she is the best. I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location. I hate to have to go on vacation. I love my furniture, drab and gray, And the paper that piles up every day.

I love my chair in my padded cell. There’s nothing else I love so well. I love to work among my peers. I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my computer and its software; I hug it often though it don’t care. I love each program and every file, I try to understand once in a while.

I’m happy to be here, I am, I am; I’m the happiest slave of my Uncle Sam. I love this work; I love these chores. I love the meetings with deadly bores.

I love my job-I’ll say it again. I even love these friendly men, These men who’ve come to visit today In lovely white coats to take me away.

2. Senior Week, by Paul Curtis

Since I’ve been retired Every day is a fun day My week now consists Of six Saturdays and a Sunday

3. The Extra Long Weekend, by Paul Berchtold

It’s hard for us to comprehend, We say goodbye to you, good friend. May the days be fine, The sun always shine, On this your extra long weekend!

4. No Stress Retirement, by Karl and Joanna Fuchs

We worked together, and now you will leave, Retiring to boredom we can’t conceive, With no stress, no strain, no deadlines to meet, No worries about the verdict when a task you complete.

We who remain, we pity you so. We wish you the best, and we want you to know, If freedom and relaxation get too hard to cope, Just think of us, and don’t give up hope.

5. 9 to 5, by Samantha C. Ringle

9 to 5, or 8 to 4, You don’t have to do it anymore. No more time clock No more late docks.

You get to retire today You will be missed in every way. Enjoy your retirement It is truly an achievement!

Congratulations to you With work, you are through!

One of your dear friends, a parent, or another family member is retiring.

This person is so important to you, and you’d never want to neglect acknowledging this major event in their life. A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration.

6. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch

How did you get to retire before me? Oh, my friend, that can’t be! Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire!

7. When You Retire, by Tree.Cards

When you retire, you get to sleep more, Life is no longer, a long tedious chore, You may do, whatever you want, Freedom you get to, regularly flaunt.

When you retire, you get to sleep more, Your bones might be older, and a little bit sore. Buy a nice car, and go for a ride, No schedule to follow, you’re simply not tied.

When you retire, you get to sleep more, All afternoon, who cares if you snore. If you have time, you may volunteer, Whatever you do, there’s nothing to fear.

8. A Joyous Time Indeed, by Julie Hebert

Congratulations on your retirement. It’s a joyous time indeed. Say goodbye to the everyday hustle and bustle, And enjoy the slower speed.

Take the things you love, And make them happen every day. Retirement is a time for you, So make some time to play.

Whatever you love to do, Make it number one. This is your one and only time, To have a lot of fun.

Wishing a lot for you, At this amazing time. Hope its everything you imagined, By enjoying your favorite pastime.

9. Thank God That’s Over, by Paul Curtis

I’m so glad I am leaving It’s not before time It’s like release from prison After committing no crime It’s a cause for celebration Bring on the dancing girls Crack open a bottle Let’s get the flags unfurled I’ve worked too many years For Scrooge like employers Today is a joyful occasion It’s the greatest of pleasures I’m so glad I am leaving It’s all I have desired Thank God the day has come I’m so glad I’ve retired

10. Joy, by Tree.Cards

Work has been a long routine, Now it’s time to change your scene. The journey lasted, so many years, Now get ready, for some cheers.

You have done, a top-notch job, We shall miss you, we may sob. Freedom will be, something new, You’ll enjoy the brand new view.

We’re happy for you, that you’re done, Try new hobbies, have some fun. No more thoughts about – employ, Take it easy, and share your joy.

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Whether it’s your own teacher from the past or your child’s teacher, this significant person positively impacted your life.

A good teacher is invaluable, and they leave a legacy of appreciative students once they retire. Mark the occasion with a poem that will make them smile. 

11. Say Goodbye, via WishesMessages.com

Say goodbye to these corridors Say goodbye to that lobby Say goodbye to the cafeteria Say goodbye to everything you see Say goodbye to your classroom Say goodbye to your chair Retirement will bring sweet pain Which you will love to bear Happy retirement

12. The Teacher Gets A+, by Joanna Fuchs

I look forward to your class When I come to school. You’re an awesome teacher; I think you’re very cool. You’re smart and fair and friendly; You’re helping all of us. And if I got to grade you, From me, you’d get A+!

13. We Thank You, by C. A. Lynch

We thank you for the teaching you did We thank you for loving us kids. We thank you for the patience you have shown We thank you for putting up with our groans. Now as you retire we wish you Happiness in all you do Relaxation for all your days We will miss you always. You are a teacher we will not forget You leave a legacy of positive mindsets Happy Retirement to a teacher who Helped us kids to continue to grow

14. No More, by Tom S. Gold No more books No more kids No more dirty looks No more messy lids. No more tests to mark No more recess breaks No more loud remarks No more putting on the brakes. You now get to retire Look forward to the future No more routines And no more daily structure Congrats to you You will be missed you know A great teacher you have been Losing you for us is a great blow.

15. To the Best Teacher Ever, by Kelly Roper

To the teacher who made us smile Still helping us learn all the while. To the teacher who explained things again, Not once or twice but ten.

To the teacher who would stay late Tutoring us to improve our grade’s fate. To the teacher with the biggest heart Who encouraged us all to feel smart.

No words will ever do To let you know how we feel about you. Thank you dear teacher and Happy retirement to you!

A new retiree will feel appreciated and remembered because you took the time to share a retirement poem with them.

You will reach this milestone with the same excited and anxious feelings one day.

Think about the poem you’d like to receive and let that guide you as you choose one for the retiree in your life.

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The current campus demonstrations are a reminder that of all the mossy cliches and puffed-up pieties of polite (and impolite) American discourse, the sanctity of protest is the hardest to question.

Doubting the loftiness of protest invites elite scorn more than any other skepticism about a constitutional right. Proposing limits on free speech, for example, attracts far less outrage. Indeed, people question free speech all the time: in debates about “hate speech,” campaign finance, social media and more. (Let’s not even get into the fashionableness of questioning Second Amendment rights.)

But if I say that most protests are performative cosplay, or mass meet-ups of the angry, the radical, the lonely or the misinformed, someone is bound to point to the civil rights protests of the 1960s or the campaign for women’s suffrage, followed by a string of righteous how-dare-yous.

This gets to part of my objection. There’s nothing inherently good or bad about protesting. Organized protest is a form of speech, and, like speech, it is rightly protected by the First Amendment. But, also like speech, its morality — though not its legality — is wholly dependent on the content.

You have a right to say, or protest for, awful things. Invoking that right doesn’t make your view any nobler.

The Jim Crow-era civil rights protests were noble because the cause was noble. They did not prove that protesting is always good, merely that it can be. Replace the March on Washington with the Nazi march on Skokie, Illinois, and you get the point.

The aesthetics and psychology of protest are often ugly because crowds encourage extremism and intimidation. Well-intentioned protest organizers know this better than anybody; they often struggle to keep the crowds from becoming dangerous mobs. The core message of mass protest is “strength in numbers,” a primordial feeling that can often lead to a kind of illiberal power-drunkenness. “The hallucinations of alcoholics provide us with an opportunity to study crowds as they appear in the minds of individuals,” Elias Canetti wrote in his brilliant book “Crowds and Power.”

Some argue that democracy is all about strength in numbers, and that’s partly true. But democratic will is exercised by the private actions of individual voters casting secret ballots. The strength in numbers invoked by most large protests is better understood as populism, and populism has an uglier history than democracy, from the long history of race riots to Jan. 6, 2021.

The irreducible political unit in America is the individual, not the crowd. The highest form of protest (and speech) is captured by Norman Rockwell’s famous painting of a lone, working-class dissenter standing up for his conscience as his neighbors listen politely, not by images of mobs shouting insults, blocking traffic, occupying buildings or worse.

Again, not all protests are ugly riots or mass tantrums. But the tolerance often shown for both is a product of romantic impulses driven by ’60s nostalgia. As a generation, progressive baby boomers take a back seat to nobody in their stunning self-regard and overestimation of their historical importance. But these people have shaped the narratives of academia, entertainment and journalism. They’ve convinced themselves, and the young minds they shape, that protest is self-justifying, a rite of passage of enlightened youth.

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Elite universities, run by acolytes of this cult, struggle to deal with protests because they believe, as a matter of educational philosophy, that giving voice to authentic passion is the route to self-actualization. As one headline conveniently summarized, “Student Protest Is an Essential Part of Education.” Who says? People who love student protest, duh.

I could have salted this column with examples of today’s protesters revealing how precious little they know about the issues supposedly motivating them — or of fawning coverage of mobs openly siding with terrorists. But my point isn’t about these protests in particular. It’s about the broader cult of protest.

The nostalgic champions of the campus protests of the ‘60s would have Americans believe they were a heroic success, stopping the Vietnam War. But what they actually helped achieve was Richard Nixon’s election and seven more years of war.

Performative protest feels good for those drunk on their own, unearned sense of importance. But such spectacles are often terrible for their intended ends. That’s one more reason not to glorify protest for its own sake.

Jonah Goldberg is editor-in-chief of The Dispatch and the host of The Remnant podcast. His Twitter handle is @JonahDispatch.

©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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