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The Importance of Positive and Consistent Child Discipline

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Published: Feb 7, 2024

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Positive discipline, negative discipline, the importance of consistency, the role of communication in discipline.

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How Child Discipline Has Changed: A Brief History

From "rod and reproof" to trusting in children.

Teaching children how to act has been on the minds of parents and authorities since the written word. From Puritanical subjugation to laissez-faire families, physical punishment to positive discipline , the best method of parenting has long been a debate.

Take it from the Old Testament, strict corporal punishment has been a popular form of discipline for a long time. Proverbs 29:15 offers parenting advice in the form of, “the rod and reproof” which it says “give wisdom” while a “child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Yes, strict discipline methods were generally accepted for millennia, but there is history of dissent that is just as deep.

Even in the Medieval era, an age that put heretics on the rack and subjected adulterous women to breast rippers (yes, that’s the technical title), physical harm to children was far more controversial than violence towards adults. In a report from the University of Exeter, Nicholas Orme details how, during biblical times, “corporal punishment was in use throughout society and probably also in homes, although social commentators criticized parents for indulgence towards children rather than for harsh discipline.”

As Puritans rose against the English church, the subjugation of children was formalized, dissuading them against challenging or rebelling against authority in the slightest. Puritan children were taught that by disobeying their parents they were forcing God to condemn them to eternal death, and that strong discipline — i.e. physical punishment — could bring salvation to children. “If disobedient, children were whipped in public and forced to make public confessions at meetings. Matters such as rights of children were never considered,” states research from the Journal of Child and Family Studies .

Not everyone fully bought into the harsh corporal punishment of this time. John Locke, the English philosopher and physician who is commonly referred to as the “Father of Liberalism,” wrote parenting guidelines that at the time weren’t popular, but foreshadowed many of the positive discipline methods we see today.

In 1690, Locke published the Essay Concerning Human Understanding , and presented the idea that children resemble a blank tablet (tabula rasa) at birth, and they are not predisposed to sin. Locke encouraged 17th-century parents to have children learn about consequences naturally, so that self-control and a desire to be accountable for their own actions is a by-product of guidance, not harsh discipline.

“…according to the ordinary disciplining of children, [it] would not have mended that temper, nor have brought him to be in love with his book; to take a pleasure in learning, and to desire, as he does, to be taught more, than those about him think fit always to teach him. … We have reason to conclude, that great care is to be had of the forming children’s minds, and giving them that seasoning early, which shall influence their lives always after.”

The education system as a whole buried that message for centuries. By the early 1900s, some childrearing experts proposed new methods of “pressuring children into good behavior.” One method was called the “scorecard,” posted in the child’s home and gold stars or black marks were placed where it said “Rising on time,” “Cleaning up room,” “Writing to Grandma,” and other tasks and duties (sound familiar?). Punishments or rewards were then allotted accordingly.

The science of child rearing was becoming popular at this time and new experts and published theories created a more dynamic, and confusing, environment for parents caught between listening to a pastor or following new child-rearing philosophies — many of them spouting conflicting messages about how much permissiveness should be allowed versus how much discipline should be used. Some methods offered strict regiments to form eating habits, social tendencies, and sleeping habits; others pointed to “gentler” means of discipline, granting children more freedom.

In 1946 Dr. Spock released the now famous parenting tome, Baby and Child Care , which opens with the line, “You know more than you think you do,” and reassured parents all over the country that disciplining a child wasn’t a matter of following the orders of the status quo. He encouraged parents to be reasonable, consistent, open, and friendly with their kids — not regimented or authoritative. “Children are driven from within themselves to grow, explore, experience, learn, and build relationships with other people,” the latest edition of Baby and Child Care reads. “So while you are trusting yourself, remember also to trust your child.”

But when the first generation of Spock-raised babies turned into the rebellious teens of the 1960s and 1970s got to the scene, Dr. Spock’s ideas took a hit from the stricter, more regimented experts. Conservative psychologists such as James Dobson encouraged authoritarian parenting styles, and a clear divide was drawn between parents who spank children and non-spanking parents.

To this day, the U.S. displays a divided attitude towards spanking and corporal punishment. While domestic corporal punishment is illegal in more than 50 countries around the world, that’s not the case in America, where 17 states still allow corporal punishment in their public schools.

Discipline isn’t, by definition, a bad thing. Studies have shown that the most effective way to foster healthy relationships with children and give them the ability to learn and utilize self-control is through positive discipline. According to the book No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are , positive discipline is based on minimizing the child’s frustrations and therefore reducing misbehavior rather than giving punishments. The “Golden Rule” is the guiding light with positive discipline — encouraging children to feel empowered, in control, and good about themselves while also building a positive parent-child relationship. “You can’t change whom your child is,” says Sharon Silver, founder of Proactive Parenting . “But you can make adjustments so that they have the opportunity to learn about who they are and be the best version of themselves within the boundaries you set.”

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There comes a time when every parent struggles with how best to discipline their child. Whether dealing with a screaming toddler or an angry teen, it can be hard to control your temper. No parent wants to find themselves in such a situation and the bottom line is that shouting and physical violence never help.

Thankfully, there are other, more effective ways and one of them is positive discipline. We consulted Lucie Cluver , Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work and mother of two young boys, to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children and teach skills like responsibility, cooperation and self-discipline.

There are no bad children, only bad behaviour.

Why positive discipline?

“Parents don't want to shout or hit their kids. We do it because we're stressed and don't see another way,” says Professor Cluver.

The evidence is clear: shouting and hitting simply do not work and can do more harm than good in the long run. Repeated shouting and hitting can even adversely impact a child’s entire life. The continued “toxic stress” it creates can lead to a host of negative outcomes like higher chances of school dropout, depression, drug use, suicide and heart disease.

“It’s like saying: here's this medicine, it's not going to help you and it's going to make you sick,” says Professor Cluver. “When we know something doesn't work, that's a pretty good reason to look for a different approach.”

Rather than punishment and what not to do, the positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectations around behaviour. The good news for every parent is it works and here’s how you can start putting it into practice:

1. Plan 1-on-1 time

One-on-one time is important for building any good relationship and even more so with your children. “It can be 20 minutes a day. Or even 5 minutes. You can combine it with something like washing dishes together while you sing a song or chatting while you're hanging out the washing,” says Professor Cluver. “What's really important is that you focus on your child. So, you turn your TV off, you turn your phone off, you get to their level and it's you and them.”

2. Praise the positives

As parents we often focus on our children’s bad behaviour and call it out. Children may read this as a way to get your attention, perpetuating poor conduct rather than putting a stop to it.

Children thrive on praise. It makes them feel loved and special. “Watch out for when they're doing something good and praise them, even if that thing is just playing for five minutes with their sibling,” recommends Professor Cluver. “This can encourage good behaviour and reduce the need for discipline.”

3. Set clear expectations

“Telling your child exactly what you want them to do is much more effective than telling them what not to do,” says Professor Cluver. “When you ask a child to not make a mess, or to be good, they don't necessarily understand what they're required to do.” Clear instructions like “Please pick up all of your toys and put them in the box” set a clear expectation and increase the likelihood that they'll do what you’re asking.

“But it's important to set realistic expectations. Asking them to stay quiet for a whole day may not be as manageable as asking for 10 minutes of quiet time while you have a phone call,” says Professor Cluver. “You know what your child is capable of. But if you ask for the impossible, they are going to fail.”

4. Distract creatively

When your child is being difficult, distracting them with a more positive activity can be a useful strategy says Professor Cluver. “When you distract them towards something else – by changing the topic, introducing a game, leading them into another room, or going for a walk, you can successfully divert their energy towards positive behaviour.”

Timing is also crucial. Distraction is also about spotting when things are about to go wrong and taking action. Being mindful of when your child is starting to become fidgety, irritable or annoyed, or when two siblings are eyeing the same toy, can help diffuse a potential situation before it becomes one.

5. Use calm consequences

Part of growing up is learning that if you do something, something can happen as a result. Defining this for your child is a simple process that encourages better behaviour while teaching them about responsibility.

Give your child a chance to do the right thing by explaining the consequences of their bad behaviour. As an example, if you want your child to stop scribbling on the walls, you can tell them to stop or else you will end their play time. This provides them with a warning and an opportunity to change their behaviour.

If they don’t stop, follow through with the consequences calmly and without showing anger, “and give yourself credit for that – it’s not easy!” adds Professor Cluver.

If they do stop, give them lots of praise for it, recommends Professor Cluver. “What you are doing is creating a positive feedback loop for your child. Calm consequences have been shown to be effective for kids to learn about what happens when they behave badly.”

Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”

Engaging with younger children

One-on-one time can be fun – and it’s completely free! “You can copy their expressions, bang spoons against pots, or sing together,” adds Professor Cluver. “There’s amazing research showing that playing with your children boosts their brain development.”

Engaging with older children

Like younger children, teenagers seek praise and want to be thought of as good. One-on-one time is still important to them. “They love it if you dance around the room with them or engage in a conversation about their favourite singer,” says Professor Cluver. “They may not always show it, but they do. And, it's an effective way of building a relationship on their terms.”

While setting expectations, “ask them to help make some of the rules,” suggests Professor Cluver. “Sit them down and try to agree on the household dos and don'ts. They can also help decide what the consequences for unacceptable behaviour will be. Being involved in the process helps them know that you understand they're becoming their own independent beings.”

What you can do in stressful situations 

Every family goes through stressful times together. Here are some tips that can help parents get through such times:

We all know the stress when we feel our child is being difficult. At moments like these, being present and stepping back is a simple and useful tactic. Hit the “pause button”, as Professor Cluver calls it. “Take five deep breaths, slowly and carefully and you'll notice you are able to respond in a calmer, more considered way. Parents across the world say that just taking that pause is enormously helpful.”

2. Step back

Parents often forget to care for themselves, says Professor Cluver. “Take some time for yourself, such as when the kids are asleep, to do something that makes you feel happy and calm. It's really hard to do all the things right as a parent, when you haven't given yourself a break.”

>> Read self-care tips for parents   

3. Praise yourself

It’s easy to forget the astonishing job you do as a parent every day and you should give yourself the credit, advises Professor Cluver. “Each day, maybe while brushing your teeth, take a moment to ask: ‘What was one thing I did really well with my kids today?’ And, just know that you did something great.”

And know that you are not alone. “Millions of parents across the world are all trying and we're all failing sometimes,” she says. The important thing is we try again.

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Introduction

Effective discipline supports normal child development, corporal punishment, use of corporal punishment, direct observations of corporal punishment, ineffectiveness of corporal punishment, cycle of corporal punishment and aggressive child behavior, special populations, parental factors associated with reliance on corporal punishment, corporal punishment as a risk factor for nonoptimal child development, physiologic changes associated with corporal punishment and verbal abuse, harsh verbal abuse associated with child and adolescent mental health problems, strategies for promoting effective discipline, clinical setting, anticipatory guidance, educational resources, community resources, conclusions, policy recommendations, lead authors, council on child abuse and neglect executive committee, 2015–2017, committee on psychosocial aspects of child and family health, 2016–2017, effective discipline to raise healthy children.

POTENTIAL CONFLICT OF INTEREST: The authors have indicated they have no potential conflicts of interest to disclose.

FINANCIAL DISCLOSURE: The authors have indicated they have no financial relationships relevant to this article to disclose.

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Robert D. Sege , Benjamin S. Siegel , COUNCIL ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT , COMMITTEE ON PSYCHOSOCIAL ASPECTS OF CHILD AND FAMILY HEALTH , Emalee G. Flaherty , Amy R. Gavril , Sheila M. Idzerda , Antoinette “Toni” Laskey , Lori Anne Legano , John M. Leventhal , James Louis Lukefahr , Michael W. Yogman , Rebecca Baum , Thresia B. Gambon , Arthur Lavin , Gerri Mattson , Raul Montiel-Esparza , Lawrence Sagin Wissow; Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children. Pediatrics December 2018; 142 (6): e20183112. 10.1542/peds.2018-3112

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Pediatricians are a source of advice for parents and guardians concerning the management of child behavior, including discipline strategies that are used to teach appropriate behavior and protect their children and others from the adverse effects of challenging behavior. Aversive disciplinary strategies, including all forms of corporal punishment and yelling at or shaming children, are minimally effective in the short-term and not effective in the long-term. With new evidence, researchers link corporal punishment to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children. In this Policy Statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics provides guidance for pediatricians and other child health care providers on educating parents about positive and effective parenting strategies of discipline for children at each stage of development as well as references to educational materials. This statement supports the need for adults to avoid physical punishment and verbal abuse of children.

Pediatricians are an important source of information for parents. 1 They are often asked by parents and guardians about nutrition, development, safety, and overall health maintenance. Pediatricians form a relationship with parents, within which they partner with parents to achieve optimal health, growth, and development in their children, including childhood behavior management. Duncan et al 2 reviewed periodic surveys of members of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and noted that between 2003 and 2012, pediatricians had increased their discussions of discipline with parents. By 2012, more than half (51%) of the pediatricians surveyed responded that they discussed discipline in 75% to 100% of health supervision visits with parents of children ages 0 through 10 years.

A recent survey (2016) indicated that US pediatricians do not endorse corporal punishment. Only 6% of 787 US pediatricians (92% in primary care) who responded to this survey held positive attitudes toward spanking, and only 2.5% expected positive outcomes from spanking. Respondents did not believe that spanking was the “only way to get the child to behave” (78% disagreed) or that “spanking is a normal part of parenting” (75% disagreed). 3  

This policy statement incorporates new research and updates the 1998 AAP clinical report titled “Guidance for Effective Discipline,” 4 which suggested, “Parents should be encouraged and assisted in developing methods other than spanking in response to undesired behaviors.”

In 1989, the United Nations (UN) Convention on the Rights of the Child, through its Committee on the Rights of the Child, called on all member states to ban corporal punishment of children and institute educational programs on positive discipline. 5 In the UN report, article 19 reads, “Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative, social, and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while in the care of [the] parent(s) [or] legal guardian(s) or any other person who has the care of the child.”

The Global Initiative to End all Corporal Punishment of Children provided a comprehensive definition of spanking and corporal punishment: “The definition of corporal or physical punishment adopted by the Committee on the Rights of the Child in its General Comment No. 8 (2006) has the key reference point, ‘any punishment in which physical force issued and intended to cause some degree of pain or discomfort, however light.’ According to the committee, this mostly involves hitting (“smacking,” “slapping,” or “spanking”) children with the hand or with an implement (a whip, stick, belt, shoe, wooden spoon, or similar), but it can also involve, for example, kicking, shaking, or throwing children; scratching, pinching, biting, pulling hair, or boxing ears; forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions; burning, scalding, or forced ingestion (for example, washing a child’s mouth out with soap or forcing them to swallow hot spices). Nonphysical forms of punishment that are cruel and degrading and thus incompatible with the convention include, for example, punishment which belittles, humiliates, denigrates, scapegoats, threatens, scares, or ridicules the child. In the view of the committee, corporal punishment is invariably degrading.” 6  

For the purpose of this policy statement, corporal punishment is the “noninjurious, open-handed hitting with the intention of modifying child behavior.” 7 Spanking can be considered a form of physical punishment. As Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor 7 noted, most people understand “corporal punishment, physical punishment, and spanking as synonymous.” The term “verbal abuse” is used to mean nonphysical forms of punishment as defined above.

This policy statement incorporates results accrued from research and new knowledge of brain development and recommend that pediatricians advise parents against the use of any form of corporal punishment. Verbal abuse (for a definition, see above: the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children) by parents intended to cause shame and humiliation of the child also has deleterious effects on children’s self-esteem. This policy statement complements a previous AAP policy statement that recommended the abolishment of corporal punishment in schools. 8  

Optimal child development requires the active engagement of adults who, among other functions, teach children about acceptable behavior. The word “discipline” is derived from the Latin word “disciplinare,” meaning to teach or train, as in disciple (a follower or student of a teacher, leader, or philosopher). Effective disciplinary strategies, appropriate to a child’s age and development, teach the child to regulate his or her own behavior; keep him or her from harm; enhance his or her cognitive, socioemotional, and executive functioning skills; and reinforce the behavioral patterns taught by the child’s parents and caregivers.

There are a number of approaches to discipline that pediatricians may discuss with parents during well-child visits and those visits that are designed to address discipline issues. These approaches are reviewed in Bright Futures Guidelines for Health Supervision of Infants, Children, and Adolescents , 9 on the AAP Web site HealthyChildren.org , 10 and in the AAP program Connected Kids: Safe, Strong, Secure. 11   Bright Futures includes sections on discipline for each age group. Each of these recommended approaches to discipline is based on the broad concepts of child development and related common behavioral concerns.

There is evidence that support for corporal punishment among parents is declining in the United States. According to a 2004 survey, 12 approximately two-thirds of parents of young children reported using some sort of physical punishment. These parents reported that by fifth grade, 80% of children had been physically punished, and 85% of teenagers reported exposure to physical punishment, with 51% having been hit with a belt or similar object. 12 , – 15 These findings suggest that, in 2004, many parents considered spanking to be a socially acceptable form of discipline. In contrast, a more recent national survey of adults shows declining support for spanking (or hitting), particularly among young parents. A 2013 poll 16 conducted by Harris Interactive found that support for the statement “good, hard spanking is sometimes necessary to discipline a child” had dropped from 84% in 1986 to 70% in 2012. Parents younger than 36 years more often believed that spanking was never appropriate, and only half reported ever spanking their own children. An analysis of a 2016 national survey conducted by yougov.com revealed that respondents with young children in the home, regardless of race and ethnicity, did not support corporal punishment, “suggesting the possibility that a generational shift in social norms [about corporal punishment] may be taking place.” 17  

Although some studies of discipline practices used observations during home visits, 1 a small study published in 2014 18 used voice recordings to explore parent-child interactions during daily activities. The recordings of 15 of the 33 families in the study (45%) included the use of corporal punishment. Most parents used a verbal disciplinary strategy before corporal punishment. Corporal punishment then occurred at a mean of 30 seconds later, suggesting that parents may have been “responding either impulsively or emotionally rather than instrumentally and intentionally.” The effects of corporal punishment were transient: within 10 minutes, most children (73%) had resumed the same behavior for which they had been punished.

A 2016 meta-analysis showed that current literature does not support the finding of benefit from physical punishment in the long-term. 7 Several small, older studies (including meta-analyses), 19 , – 22 largely of parents who were referred for help with child behavior problems, demonstrated apparent short-term effectiveness of spanking. Only a single 1981 study of 24 children showed statistically significant short-term improvement in compliance compared with alternative strategies (time-out and a control group). 23  

Evidence obtained from a longitudinal cohort study suggested that corporal punishment of toddlers was associated with subsequent aggressive behavior. The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study was based on a population-based birth cohort of approximately 5000 children from 20 large US cities between 1998 and 2000 24 ; data were collected at birth and 1, 3, 5, and 9 years of age. Young children who were spanked more than twice per month at age 3 years were more aggressive at age 5 even when the researchers controlled for the child’s aggressive behavior at age 3, maternal parenting and risk factors, and demographic factors. 25 A follow-up study 26 assessed these children at 9 years of age and noted correlations between spanking at age 5 years and higher levels of externalizing behavior and lower receptive vocabulary scores at age 9. A subsequent study analyzed data from all 4 waves and concluded that an increased frequency of spanking was associated with a subsequent increased frequency of externalizing behaviors, which were then associated with more spanking in response. 27 This interaction between spanking and misbehavior occurs over time; each negative interaction reinforces previous negative interactions as a complex negative spiral.

In a study that explored parental discipline approaches, 28 researchers noted that both European American and African American parents used an escalation strategy in disciplining their 6- to 8-year-old children. Both groups of parents used reasoning more frequently than yelling. The next most frequent strategy was denying privileges, and spanking was the least frequent method reported by all parents. Similarly, in focus groups conducted around the country in 2002 during the development of the AAP Connected Kids materials, participating parents reported the use of corporal punishment as a last resort. 11 , 29  

Children in foster care who have experienced abuse or neglect may exhibit challenging behaviors. Programs exist that assist foster parents in addressing discipline. A recent AAP clinical report describes the behavioral effects of maltreatment and offers suggestions for helping these children heal. 30 Pediatricians may advise foster parents to consider the behavioral consequences of past abuse in understanding how these children may respond differently to their foster parents’ attempts to correct their behavior. 31  

Parents of children with special health care needs may need additional assistance regarding discipline strategies. These strategies begin with an understanding of a child’s physical, emotional, and cognitive capacities. In some cases, consultation with a developmental-behavioral pediatrician may be helpful. 32  

Parental Depression

A longitudinal study examined the interactions between parental corporal punishment, parental depression, negative perceptions of a child’s behavior, and the child’s externalizing behavior. 33 The sample included 245 children and parents in stable relationships from mostly middle-class, married, European American parents. Depressive symptoms for both mothers and fathers were related to more negative appraisals of the child’s behavior and more frequent corporal punishment and predicted higher levels of child externalizing problems at 5.5 years of age.

Influence of Past Parental Trauma

A recent article, Kistin et al 34 reported interviews with 30 low-income mothers and provided an important perspective on the complexity of disciplinary strategies used by mothers who had themselves experienced trauma. They reported that mothers related their children’s negative behaviors to their own past experiences; harsh discipline was used in an attempt to prevent future behavioral problems.

There appears to be a strong association between spanking children and subsequent adverse outcomes. 35 , – 53 Reports published since the previous 1998 AAP report have provided further evidence that has deepened the understanding of the effects of corporal punishment. The consequences associated with parental corporal punishment are summarized as follows 7 , 19 , 21 , 27 , 35 , 54 , – 62 :

corporal punishment of children younger than 18 months of age increases the likelihood of physical injury;

repeated use of corporal punishment may lead to aggressive behavior and altercations between the parent and child and may negatively affect the parent-child relationship;

corporal punishment is associated with increased aggression in preschool and school-aged children;

experiencing corporal punishment makes it more, not less, likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future;

corporal punishment is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognition problems;

the risk of harsh punishment is increased when the family is experiencing stressors, such as family economic challenges, mental health problems, intimate partner violence, or substance abuse; and

spanking alone is associated with adverse outcomes, and these outcomes are similar to those in children who experience physical abuse.

The association between corporal punishment and adverse adult health outcomes was examined in a 2017 report that analyzed original data from the 1998 Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, which recommended that spanking be considered as an additional independent risk factor, similar in nature and effect to other adverse childhood experiences. 63 In their analysis of the original 1998 Adverse Childhood Experiences study data, the investigators found that spanking was associated with increased odds of suicide attempts, moderate-to-heavy drinking, and substance use disorder in adulthood independent of the risks associated with having experienced physical and emotional abuse.

A history of parental corporal punishment and parental verbal abuse has been associated with changes in brain anatomy that can be visualized by using MRI. Researchers studied a group of young adults ( N = 23; ages 18–25) who had prolonged and repeated exposure to harsh corporal punishment and compared the results of brain MRIs to those from a matched control group ( N = 22). They reported reduced prefrontal cortical gray matter volume and performance IQ. 64 A similar study from this group noted MRI results that revealed differences in white matter tracts in young adults ( N = 16) who were exposed to parental verbal abuse and had no history of trauma. 65 A more recent review noted relationships between physical punishment and cortisol levels. 66 Elevated cortisol levels reflect stress and have been associated with toxic stress and subsequent changes in brain architecture.

In 2009, the UN Children’s Fund defined “yelling and other harsh verbal discipline as psychologically aggressive towards children.” 28 In a longitudinal study investigating the relationship between harsh verbal abuse by parents and child outcomes, researchers noted that harsh verbal abuse before age 13 years was associated with an increase in adolescent conduct problems and depressive symptoms between ages 13 and 14. Adolescent behavior affected parental behavior as well; misconduct predicted increases in parents’ use of harsh discipline between ages 13 and 14 years. Furthermore, parental warmth did not moderate the longitudinal associations between harsh discipline by parents and adolescent conduct and depressive symptoms. 67  

Effective disciplinary techniques grow from an understanding of normal child development. Parents value advice from their pediatricians, as illustrated by a 2012 study 1 involving 500 parents in New Orleans, Louisiana. The investigators found that parents were more likely to follow the advice of pediatricians compared with other professionals, and nearly half (48%) indicated that they were most likely to consult their pediatricians for advice on corporal punishment. In a second article, 68 these investigators further noted that perceived social norms were the strongest predictor of having a positive attitude toward corporal punishment, with the second-strongest predictor being perceived approval of corporal punishment by professionals.

Pediatricians may assist parents by providing information about child development and effective parenting strategies. Although parents often seek information and hold their pediatricians in a position of trust, discussions of discipline may prove challenging. This section presents approaches to counseling.

A direct discussion advising against any form of corporal punishment may be useful. When appropriate, the pediatrician may counsel family members that spanking is not an appropriate or effective disciplinary strategy. Parents may be counseled that although spanking seems to interrupt a child’s misbehavior, it is ineffective in the longer-term. For many children, spanking increases aggression and anger instead of teaching responsibility and self-control. This advice will be most helpful if it is combined with teaching parents new strategies to replace their previous use of corporal punishment. Appropriate methods for addressing children’s behavior will change as the children grow and develop increased cognitive and executive function abilities. 9  

Teaching parents effective strategies may allow them to avoid escalating to the point of using corporal punishment. In a randomized trial, Barkin et al 69 demonstrated that it was possible to teach parents to use time-outs within the constraints of an office visit. Clinicians used motivational interviewing techniques to help parents learn to discipline using other techniques.

When discussing corporal punishment, pediatricians may explore and acknowledge parents’ current experiences, past social-emotional development, attitudes, and beliefs. Because parents may use spanking as a last resort, they may spank less (or not at all) if they have learned effective discipline techniques. 11 Specific discussions of behavior problems and behavior management strategies allow pediatricians to provide useful advice that is based on an understanding of child behavior.

Pediatric providers may reinforce behavioral counseling through recommending or distributing parent education materials. For example, studies have shown that in-office videos may be able to deliver messages to multicultural parents. 70 , 71 Having parents read brief research summaries of problems associated with corporal punishment decreased positive attitudes about it. 72 Each of these approaches reinforced verbal advice with other means of supporting caregivers in learning new parenting techniques.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has posted positive parenting tips on its Web site. 73 The AAP provides content for parents through its HealthyChildren.org Web site and its Connected Kids: Safe, Strong, Secure 11 and Bright Futures 9 programs. Each of these resources encourages parents to use positive reinforcement as a primary means of teaching acceptable behavior. For example, parents can learn that young children crave attention, and telling a child, “I love it when you . . .” is an easy means of reinforcing desired behavior.

Although pediatricians offer anticipatory guidance, many parents will want or need more assistance in developing strong parenting skills. The medical home can link parents to community resources. Health care sites may implement the Safe Environment for Every Kid 74 , 75 program. The program includes a brief questionnaire that examines family risk factors. Parents who identify needs, including parenting challenges, meet with a colocated social worker who can link them to parent supports in the community. This program also has online educational modules. 76 , 77  

A variety of national and community-based organizations offer parents support through Triple P, 78 which is one example of an evidence-based parent education program. In another program, HealthySteps, 79 a developmental specialist is placed in the office setting to help support families of children ages 0 to 3 years. In most states, Children’s Trust Funds and child welfare agencies sponsor parent resource centers. Help Me Grow, 80 a state-based information and referral network, has been implemented in the majority of the United States. The Center for the Improvement of Child Caring offers resources specifically tailored to African American families. 81 , – 83  

Many clinic- and community-based programs are specifically oriented toward helping parents effectively address their children’s behavior. 84 Examples include The Incredible Years , 85 a brief office-based video intervention in the office that is used to discuss discipline issues 86 ; Safety Check, which is used to teach time-outs 69 ; the Family Nurturing Program, which is used to improve parenting attitudes and knowledge 87 ; and the Chicago Parent Program, a comprehensive 12-week parenting skills training program. 88 The Video Intervention Project is an evidence-based parenting program that involves feedback on parent-child interactions by trained child development staff in a primary care office setting. 89  

The 2012 AAP clinical report was focused on the psychological maltreatment of children and adolescents and contained a comprehensive review of preventive measures that provide alternatives to the use of corporal punishment. 90 The literature describe other resources and programs, such as Internet-based training and group-based parent training programs. 91 , – 93 This list of resources is not intended to be comprehensive; many national organizations and local communities also offer effective parenting resources.

Parents look to pediatric providers for guidance concerning a variety of parenting issues, including discipline. Keeping in mind that the evidence that corporal punishment is both ineffective in the long-term and associated with cognitive and mental health problems can guide these discussions. When parents want guidance about the use of spanking, pediatricians can explore parental feelings, help them better define the goals of discipline, and offer specific behavior management strategies. In addition to providing appropriate education to families, providers can refer them to community resources, including parenting groups, classes, and mental health services. 94  

The AAP recommends that adults caring for children use healthy forms of discipline, such as positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, setting limits, redirecting, and setting future expectations. The AAP recommends that parents do not use spanking, hitting, slapping, threatening, insulting, humiliating, or shaming.

Parents value pediatricians’ discussion of and guidance about child behavior and parenting practices.

Parents, other caregivers, and adults interacting with children and adolescents should not use corporal punishment (including hitting and spanking), either in anger or as a punishment for or consequence of misbehavior, nor should they use any disciplinary strategy, including verbal abuse, that causes shame or humiliation.

When pediatricians offer guidance about child behavior and parenting practices, they may choose to offer the following:

a. guidance on effective discipline strategies to help parents teach their children acceptable behaviors and protect them from harm;

b. information concerning the risks of harmful effects and the ineffectiveness of using corporal punishment; and

c. the insight that although many children who were spanked become happy, healthy adults, current evidence suggests that spanking is not necessary and may result in long-term harm.

Agencies that offer family support, such as state- or community-supported family resource centers, schools, or other public health agencies, are strongly encouraged to provide information about effective alternatives to corporal punishment to parents and families, including links to materials offered by the AAP.

In their roles as child advocates, pediatricians are encouraged to assume roles at local and state levels to advance this policy as being in the best interest of children.

American Academy of Pediatrics

United Nations

Drs Sege and Siegel created the first draft of this statement, responded to committee and Board comments, and edited the Policy Statement; and all authors approved the final manuscript as submitted.

This document is copyrighted and is property of the American Academy of Pediatrics and its Board of Directors. All authors have filed conflict of interest statements with the American Academy of Pediatrics. Any conflicts have been resolved through a process approved by the Board of Directors. The American Academy of Pediatrics has neither solicited nor accepted any commercial involvement in the development of the content of this publication.

Policy statements from the American Academy of Pediatrics benefit from expertise and resources of liaisons and internal (AAP) and external reviewers. However, policy statements from the American Academy of Pediatrics may not reflect the views of the liaisons or the organizations or government agencies that they represent.

The guidance in this statement does not indicate an exclusive course of treatment or serve as a standard of medical care. Variations, taking into account individual circumstances, may be appropriate.

All policy statements from the American Academy of Pediatrics automatically expire 5 years after publication unless reaffirmed, revised, or retired at or before that time.

FUNDING: No external funding.

Robert D. Sege, MD, PhD, FAAP

Benjamin S. Siegel, MD, FAAP

Emalee G. Flaherty, MD, FAAP

CAPT Amy R. Gavril, MD, FAAP

Sheila M. Idzerda, MD, FAAP

Antoinette Laskey, MD, MPH, MBA, FAAP

Lori Anne Legano, MD, FAAP

John M. Leventhal, MD, FAAP

James Louis Lukefahr, MD, FAAP

Beverly Fortson, PhD – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Harriet MacMillan, MD, FRCPC – American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Elaine Stedt, MSW – Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, Administration for Children, Youth and Families

Tammy Piazza Hurley

Michael W. Yogman, MD, FAAP, Chairperson

Rebecca Baum, MD, FAAP

Thresia B. Gambon, MD, FAAP

Arthur Lavin, MD, FAAP

Gerri Mattson, MD, FAAP

Raul Montiel-Esparza, MD

Lawrence Sagin Wissow, MD, MPH, FAAP

Terry Carmichael, MSW – National Association of Social Workers

Edward Christophersen, PhD, FAAP (hon) – Society of Pediatric Psychology

Norah Johnson, PhD, RN, NP-BC – National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners

Leonard Read Sulik, MD – American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

Stephanie Domain, MS

Competing Interests

Re: time-outs not linked to long-term problems.

Time-outs are not linked to long-term problems and are not the same as saying they maximize lessons for the child and the parent. In sports, we have two different examples of time-outs, the NHL and the NBA. The time-out for the offending hockey player is the penalty box. Never wiser for the time in the box, the lesson is not to get caught.

For the NBA there are two different time-outs, 20 seconds and a full 2 minutes. Instead of isolating the player the team is gathered together and is taught by the coach what to do differently. You even see players talking together to solve the problem. When the ref's whistle blow they are a better team and a better player.

For parents, the lessons are to vary interaction determined by the precipitating event. Discipline means to teach not punish. There should be a reconsideration of the concept of the child in a penalty box. Did the child understand the rule/error or was the instruction in adult language like, "don't go around the corner" when the child has no idea what a corner is? Is the parent any more illuminated to why the culpable action happened in the first place? Did the parental coach seat with the player and listen?

Addressing the root cause sometimes requires time with the parent not removal from their source of value and self-acceptance. When parents are so upset they can't deal justly with their child, they are the ones who need to be in time-out,

RE: AAP Authors of "Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children" response to "Should Pediatricians Base Their Parenting Advice on Advocacy or Science?"

In response to the comment by Larzelere, et al., we note that all American Academy of Pediatrics policy statements represent the collective work of the primary authors, the two sponsoring AAP committees and over a dozen highly qualified experienced reviewers and staff members within the AAP, and are subject to Board review and approval. Policy statements represents a synthesis of available evidence, and include recommendations based on that evidence.

The comment begins with claims that overlook or mischaracterize the content of the policy statement. Contrary to the authors’ assertions, (1) this policy 4 is based on a thorough review of the literature and the expert opinions of the authoring committees—advocacy groups played no role; and (2), many alternative approaches to spanking and supporting positive disciplinary strategies are discussed and endorsed—readers are referred to more comprehensive resources. A careful reading of the statement can easily clear up these and other issues raised in their note. The suggestion that this statement is a “rant against spanking” is inaccurate.

In regards to corporal punishment as a method of child discipline, the policy notes that it is (1) ineffective, (2) contributes to a cycle of corporal punishment and aggressive behavior, (3) is a risk factor for nonoptimal child development, and (4) that physiological changes have been observed in children who experience it. Of these four factors that support the policy recommendation against corporal punishment, the commenters only address concerns about the evidence supporting the conclusion that corporal punishment is a risk for non-optimal child development. In addition, while the comment asserts, that many of the citations were not primary data sources, we did include primary data in the current statement. The 1998 statement also has primary data sources. As with other policies, we also relied on systematic reviews that, while they do not contain original data, summarize the existing primary data. Among the many references cited were two that we now highlight to show the types of evidence cited: (1) a 2016 meta-analysis1 of studies that included over 160,000 children and documented “a link between spanking and increased risk for detrimental outcome,” and (2) a study by Afifi and others2,who reanalyzed the data from the Adverse Childhood Events study, which included an analysis of over 8,000 largely employed research participants. They concluded that spanking is an independent risk factor for poor adult health, and should be considered along with the other commonly assessed Adverse Childhood Experiences. These and other studies provide strong evidence to support the conclusions in the statement. We disagree with the commenters’ rejection of evidence supporting our conclusions.

The commenters cite their own, methodologically-oriented, systematic reviews that showed little effect, positive or negative, of spanking. In contrast, a comprehensive review 3, published in 2018, after the policy statement went to press examined the question of causality using standard public health criteria that are used when randomized trials are not possible. Application of these criteria, originally developed to link studies of tobacco smoke to adverse health outcomes, led the authors to conclude that “physical punishment is linked with the same harms to children as physical abuse.”

In their final paragraph, the writers of the comment note: “The AAP can best support children and families by requiring its policy statements to be based upon more objective summaries of the full range of relevant scientific evidence”. We could not agree more, and believe that the 2018 AAP policy 4 on Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children meets this description.

Robert Sege, MD, FAAP and Benjamin Siegel, MD, FAAP

1. Gershoff ET, Grogan-Kaylor A. Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses. J Fam Psychol 2016;30:453-69. 2. Afifi TO, Ford D, Gershoff ET, et al. Spanking and adult mental health impairment: The case for the designation of spanking as an adverse childhood experience. Child Abuse Negl 2017;71:24-31. 3. Gershoff ET, Goodman GS, Miller-Perrin CL, Holden GW, Jackson Y, Kazdin AE. The strength of the causal evidence against physical punishment of children and its implications for parents, psychologists, and policymakers. The American psychologist 2018;73:626-38. 4. Sege RD, Siegel BS. Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children. Pediatrics 2018;142:e20183112.

RE: Should Pediatricians Base Their Parenting Advice on Advocacy or Science?

The new AAP Policy Statement, Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children, appears to rely primarily on an advocacy group, the Global Initiative to End all Corporal Punishment of Children, whereas the previous AAP Policy Statement on discipline1 was informed by an AAP-sponsored scientific consensus conference on corporal punishment. Accordingly, the latest Policy Statement reads more like a rant against spanking than scientifically informed recommendations for “effective discipline.” With its prohibition of all physical punishment, only time-out is recommended for childhood misbehavior, citing only one study which concluded “There was no significant effect for timeout use.”2, p. e15 Privilege removal has been dropped in the current Statement.

Should pediatricians therefore conclude that the only key to effective parental discipline is simply to avoid spanking? The Statement’s cited evidence against physical punishment is drawn from one meta-analysis of unadjusted correlations, 55% of them concurrent correlations,3 ignoring another meta-analysis that reported “trivial” effect sizes in risk-adjusted outcomes.4 Would any medical therapy be evaluated using correlations that are not risk-adjusted (for differences in illness severity or in persistent defiance)? A new meta-analysis just showed that this correlational evidence against spanking disappears after accounting for the predisposition of some children to be more difficult to discipline than others.5

The Policy Statement cites 33 studies in its section on “Corporal Punishment as a Risk Factor for Nonoptimal Child Development,” including three other literature reviews that found the effects of spanking to be “trivial,” or “small” at worst. The 33 cited studies also included six publications lacking any original data (five by anti-spanking advocates); five studies of what predicts physical punishment rather than child outcomes predicted by physical punishment; four studies that only investigated other parenting variables (e.g., reprimands, verbal hostility, psychologically intrusive control); and studies of inappropriate physical punishment which was overly severe (six studies) or used during adolescence (one study). This left seven studies, six of which had trivial adverse effect sizes (mean  = .07; equivalent to d = .15 or AOR = 1.31) after controlling for pre-existing child differences, consistent with the few quality meta-analyses that were limited to risk-adjusted prospective studies of spanking.4,5 Remarkably, the latest published meta-analysis shows that these tiny effect sizes become tiny beneficial effects when evaluated with an alternative method of adjusting for pre-existing differences.5 The seventh and final cited study showed better adolescent outcomes for spanked children than never-spanked children as long as the spanking was phased out by age 11. Overall, this cited evidence fails to support the Policy Statement’s conclusion of “a strong association between spanking and subsequent adverse outcomes” (p. 4).

This policy statement seems informed more by the cited advocacy organization than a fair assessment of scientific evidence. Would pediatricians oppose any other widespread practice (e.g., aspirin for childhood fevers) based mostly on correlational evidence and without recommending a scientifically based alternative? Of course not. The AAP can best support children and families by requiring its policy statements to be based upon more objective summaries of the full range of relevant scientific evidence.

1. American Academy of Pediatrics. Guidance for effective discipline. Pediatrics. 1998;101:723-728. 2. Barkin SL, Finch SA, Ip EH, et al. Is office-based counseling about media use, timeouts, and firearm storage effective? Results from a cluster-randomized, controlled trial. Pediatrics. 2008;122(1):e15-e25. 3. Gershoff ET, Grogan-Kaylor A. Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses. Journal of Family Psychology. 2016;30:453-469. 4. Ferguson CJ. Spanking, corporal punishment and negative long-term outcomes: A meta-analytic review of longitudinal studies. Clinical Psychology Review. 2013;33:196-208. 5. Larzelere RE, Gunnoe ML, Ferguson CJ. Improving causal inferences in meta-analyses of longitudinal studies: Spanking as an illustration. Child Development. 2018;89(6):2038-2050.

The new AAP Policy Statement, Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children, appears to rely primarily on an advocacy group, the Global Initiative to End all Corporal Punishment of Children, whereas the previous AAP Policy Statement on discipline(1) was informed by an AAP-sponsored scientific consensus conference on corporal punishment. Accordingly, the latest Policy Statement reads more like a rant against spanking than scientifically informed recommendations for “effective discipline.” With its prohibition of all physical punishment, only time-out is recommended for childhood misbehavior, citing only one study whose abstract concluded “There was no significant effect for timeout use.”(2, p. e15) Privilege removal has been dropped in the current Statement.

Should pediatricians therefore conclude that the only key to effective parental discipline is simply to avoid spanking? The Statement’s cited evidence against physical punishment is drawn from one meta-analysis of unadjusted correlations, 55% of them concurrent correlations,(3) ignoring another meta-analysis that reported “trivial” effect sizes in risk-adjusted outcomes.(4) Would any medical therapy be evaluated using correlations that are not risk-adjusted (for differences in illness severity or in persistent defiance)? A new meta-analysis just showed that this correlational evidence against spanking disappears after accounting for the predisposition of some children to be more difficult to discipline than others.(5)

The Policy Statement cites 33 studies in its section on “Corporal Punishment as a Risk Factor for Nonoptimal Child Development,” including three other literature reviews that found the effects of spanking to be “trivial,” or “small” at worst. The 33 cited studies also included six publications lacking any original data (five by anti-spanking advocates); five studies of what predicts physical punishment rather than child outcomes predicted by physical punishment; four studies that only investigated other parenting variables (e.g., reprimands, verbal hostility, psychologically intrusive control); and studies of inappropriate physical punishment which was overly severe (six studies) or used during adolescence (one study). This left seven studies, six of which had trivial adverse effect sizes (mean beta = .07; equivalent to d = .15 or AOR = 1.31) after controlling for pre-existing child differences, consistent with the few quality meta-analyses that were limited to risk-adjusted prospective studies of spanking.(4,5) Remarkably, the latest published meta-analysis shows that these tiny effect sizes become tiny beneficial effects when evaluated with an alternative method of adjusting for pre-existing differences.(5) The seventh and final cited study showed better adolescent outcomes for spanked children than never-spanked children as long as the spanking was phased out by age 11. This cited evidence fails to support the Policy Statement’s conclusion of “a strong association between spanking and subsequent adverse outcomes” (p. 4).

In short, this policy statement seems fatally flawed. Would pediatricians oppose any other wide-spread practice (e.g., aspirin for childhood fevers) based solely upon correlational evidence and without recommending a scientifically based alternative? Of course not. The AAP can best support pediatricians and the families they serve when their policy statements are based upon the best available science, and not primarily on evidence provided by advocacy groups, however well-intentioned they may be.

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• v.9(1); 2004 Jan

Effective discipline for children

The word discipline means to impart knowledge and skill – to teach. However, it is often equated with punishment and control. There is a great deal of controversy about the appropriate ways to discipline children, and parents are often confused about effective ways to set limits and instill self-control in their child.

In medical and secular literature, there is great diversity of opinion about the short-term and long-term effects of various disciplinary methods, especially the use of disciplinary spanking. This statement reviews the issues concerning childhood discipline and offers practical guidelines for physicians to use in counselling parents about effective discipline.

The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends that physicians take an anticipatory approach to discipline, including asking questions about techniques used in the home. Physicians should actively counsel parents about discipline and should strongly discourage the use of spanking.

ROLE OF THE PHYSICIAN IN PROMOTING EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE

To be effective, discipline needs to be:

• given by an adult with an affective bond to the child;
• consistent, close to the behaviour needing change;
• perceived as ‘fair’ by the child;
• developmentally and temperamentally appropriate; and
• self-enhancing, ie, ultimately leading to self-discipline.

The physician can promote effective discipline through evaluation, anticipatory guidance and counselling.

The psychosocial interview, which is part of normal heath care, should include:

• non-judgmental inquiry about parents’ attitudes toward discipline;
• questions about who disciplines and the type of discipline used;
• discussion of difficulties or problems with discipline; and
• inquiries about parental stressors.

Anticipatory guidance

Anticipatory guidance should be appropriate to the child’s developmental level (for example, explain to parents that a toddler who resists being fed does it not to defy the parent, but rather as part of normal development). Areas of particular importance are those known to be problematic: feeding, toilet training and bedtime struggles.

Counselling

Counselling should:

• reinforce parental competence and help parents find strategies that suit the family’s unique needs;
• suggest effective discipline techniques according to the child’s developmental level, parent/child dyad, and cultural and social norms; and
• provide resources for parents in need, such as printed handouts or referral to other appropriate professionals.

GOALS OF EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE

Discipline is the structure that helps the child fit into the real world happily and effectively. It is the foundation for the development of the child’s own self-discipline. Effective and positive discipline is about teaching and guiding children, not just forcing them to obey. As with all other interventions aimed at pointing out unacceptable behaviour, the child should always know that the parent loves and supports him or her. Trust between parent and child should be maintained and constantly built upon.

Parenting is the task of raising children and providing them with the necessary material and emotional care to further their physical, emotional, cognitive and social development.

Disciplining children is one of the most important yet difficult responsibilities of parenting, and there are no shortcuts. The physician must stress that teaching about limits and acceptable behaviour takes time and a great deal of energy. The hurried pace of today’s society can be an obstacle to effective discipline.

The goal of effective discipline is to foster acceptable and appropriate behaviour in the child and to raise emotionally mature adults. A disciplined person is able to postpone pleasure, is considerate of the needs of others, is assertive without being aggressive or hostile, and can tolerate discomfort when necessary.

The foundation of effective discipline is respect. The child should be able to respect the parent’s authority and also the rights of others. Inconsistency in applying discipline will not help a child respect his or her parents. Harsh discipline such as humiliation (verbal abuse, shouting, name-calling) will also make it hard for the child to respect and trust the parent.

Thus, effective discipline means discipline applied with mutual respect in a firm, fair, reasonable and consistent way. The goal is to protect the child from danger, help the child learn self-discipline, and develop a healthy conscience and an internal sense of responsibility and control. It should also instill values.

One of the major obstacles to achieving these goals is inconsistency, which will confuse any child, regardless of developmental age. It can be particularly hard for parents to be consistent role models. Telling children to “Do as I say, but not as I do” does not achieve effective discipline. Parental disagreements about child-rearing techniques, as well as cultural differences between parents, often result in inconsistent disciplining methods. The physician needs to be mindful of these challenges and suggest steps that parents can take to resolve these differences ( 1 ).

It is important that in teaching effective discipline, physicians do not impose their own agendas on the families they counsel. A balanced, objective view should be used to provide resources, and the goal should be to remain objective. This means using principles supported by academic, peer-reviewed literature. This is particularly important when dealing with controversial issues such as disciplinary spanking.

DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS

Regardless of the developmental stage and age of the child, some basic principles can help guide the physician:

• The purpose of effective discipline is to help children organize themselves, internalize rules and acquire appropriate behaviour patterns.
• The temperaments of the child and the parents, particularly in the context of their sociocultural milieu, require flexibility. Children with special needs and developmental delay require additional adjustments and problem-solving ( 2 ).
• Effective discipline does not instill shame, negative guilt, a sense of abandonment or a loss of trust. Instead, it instills a sense of greater trust between the child and the parent.
• Anticipatory guidance offers physicians an opportunity for prevention, to discuss the type of discipline according to the child’s developmental age. Undesirable behaviours are best avoided through prevention and by building supportive structures that include clear, consistent rules ( 3 ).
• Physicians should take care to provide anticipatory guidance and appropriate support to parents who are under stress, isolated, disadvantaged or impaired. Physicians should be familiar with the resources in the family’s community.
• Physicians should consider the role of the parent in influencing the child’s misbehaviour. For example, a depressed caregiver who is influencing the behaviour and development of a child may require referral to another appropriate professional.

Infants (birth to 12 months)

Infants need a schedule around feeding, sleeping and play or interaction with others. The schedule helps regulate autonomic functions and provides a sense of predictability and safety. Infants should not be overstimulated. They should be allowed to develop some tolerance to frustration and the ability to self-soothe. Discipline should not involve techniques such as time-out (see Forms of discipline), spanking or consequences.

Early toddlers (one year to two years)

At the early toddler stage, it is normal and necessary for toddlers to experiment with control of the physical world and with the capacity to exercise their own will versus that of others. Consequently, parental tolerance is recommended. Disciplinary interventions are necessary to ensure the toddler’s safety, limit aggression, and prevent destructive behaviour. Removing the child or the object with a firm “No,” or another very brief verbal explanation (“No –hot”), and redirecting the child to an alternative activity usually works. The parent should remain with the child at such times to supervise and ensure that the behaviour does not recur, and also to assure the child that the parent is not withdrawing love.

Early toddlers are very susceptible to fears of abandonment and should not be kept in time-out away from the parent. However, occasionally, a parent may become so frustrated with the child that he or she needs a period of separation from the child.

Early toddlers are not verbal enough to understand or mature enough to respond to verbal prohibitions. Therefore, verbal directions and explanations are unreliable forms of discipline for early toddlers ( 4 ).

Example : The toddler wants to play with a breakable glass object on a hard kitchen floor. Remove the child and the object and redirect the toddler’s attention to a more appropriate activity such as playing with a ball in another room. The parent should remain with the child.

Late toddlers (two years to three years)

The struggle for mastery, independence and self-assertion continues. The child’s frustration at realizing limitations in such struggles leads to temper outbursts. This does not necessarily express anger or willful defiance. The caregiver should have empathy, realizing the meaning of these manifestations. At the same time, the caregiver should continue to supervise, set limits and routines, and have realistic expectations of the child’s achievement capabilities. Knowing the child’s pattern of reactions helps prevent situations in which frustrations flare up. When the child regains control, the parent should give some simple verbal explanation and reassurance. The child should be redirected to some other activity, preferably away from the scene of the tantrum. The toddler cannot regulate behaviour based on verbal prohibitions or directions alone.

Example : The toddler has a temper tantrum in a public place. Remove the child from the place of misbehaviour. Hold the child gently until the toddler gains control. Give a short verbal instruction or reassurance followed by supervision and an example.

Preschoolers and kindergarten-age children (three years to five years)

At three years to five years of age, most children are able to accept reality and limitations, act in ways to obtain others’ approval, and be self-reliant for their immediate needs. However, they have not internalized many rules, are gullible, and their judgment is not always sound. They require good behavioural models after which to pattern their own behaviour. The consistency should apply not only in the rules and actions of the primary caregiver, but in other adults who care for the child.

Reliance on verbal rules increases, but still the child requires supervision to carry through directions and for safety. Time-out can be used if the child loses control. Redirection or small consequences related to and immediately following the misbehaviour are other alternatives. Approval and praise are the most powerful motivators for good behaviour. Lectures do not work well and some consider them to be counterproductive.

Example : The preschooler draws on the wall with crayons. Use time-out to allow him to think about the misbehaviour. Consider using also logical consequences, eg, take the crayons away and let the child clean up the mess to teach accountability.

School-age children (six years to 12 years)

The child’s increasing independence may lead to conflicts. School-age children tend to act autonomously, choose their own activities and friends, and, to some extent, recognize other than parental authority. Parents should continue to supervise, provide good behavioural models, set rules consistently, but also allow the child to become increasingly autonomous. Parents should continue to make the important decisions because school-age children cannot always put reasoning and judgment into practice.

Praise and approval should be used liberally, although not excessively, to encourage good behaviour and growth into a more mature human being. The use of appropriate motivators should be encouraged; for example, buy a keen reader his or her favourite book.

Acceptable means of discipline include withdrawal or delay of privileges, consequences and time-out.

Example : The child destroys toys. Instead of replacing these toys, let the child learn the logical consequences. Destroying toys will result in no toys to play with.

Adolescents (13 years to 18 years)

Conflicts frequently ensue because the adolescent adheres increasingly to the peer group, challenges family values and rules, and distances himself from the parents. Parents can meet these challenges by remaining available, setting rules in a noncritical way, not belittling the adolescent, and avoiding lectures or predicting catastrophes. Contracting with the adolescent is also a useful tool. Disciplinary spanking of adolescents is most inappropriate.

Despite their challenging attitudes and professions of independence, many adolescents do want parental guidance and approval. Parents should ensure that the basic rules are followed and that logical consequences are set and kept in a nonconfrontational way.

Example : The adolescent defiantly takes the car and has an accident. The logical consequence would be that there is no car to drive and that the teenager has to help pay for the repairs. This teaches accountability.

SETTING RULES AND APPLYING CONSEQUENCES

Rules are established for children so they can learn to live cooperatively with others, to teach them to distinguish right from wrong, and to protect them from harm. Children raised without reasonable limits will have difficulty adjusting socially. The following are some ways that parents can use rules and limits to promote effective discipline:

• Reinforce desirable behaviour. Praise positive behaviour and “catch children being good”.
• Avoid nagging and making threats without consequences. The latter may even encourage the undesired behaviour.
• Apply rules consistently.
• Ignore unimportant and irrelevant behaviour, eg, swinging legs while sitting.
• Set reasonable and consistent limits. Consequences need to be realistic. For example, grounding for a month may not be feasible.
• State acceptable and appropriate behaviour that is attainable.
• Prioritize rules. Give top priority to safety, then to correcting behaviour that harms people and property, and then to behaviour such as whining, temper tantrums and interrupting. Concentrate on two or three rules at first.
• Know and accept age-appropriate behaviour. Accidentally spilling a glass of water is normal behaviour for a toddler. It is not willful defiance. On the other hand, a child who refuses to wear a bicycle helmet after repeated warnings is being willfully defiant.
• Allow for the child’s temperament and individuality (goodness of fit). A strong-willed child needs to be raised differently from the so-called ‘compliant child’.

In applying consequences, these suggestions may be helpful:

• Apply consequences as soon as possible.
• Do not enter into arguments with the child during the correction process.
• Make the consequences brief. For example, time-out (see Forms of discipline) should last one minute per year of the child’s age, to a maximum of five minutes.
• Parents should mean what they say and say it without shouting at the child. Verbal abuse is no less damaging than physical punishment.
• Follow consequences with love and trust, and ensure that the child knows the correction is directed against the behaviour and not the person. Guard against humiliating the child. Model forgiveness and avoid bringing up past mistakes.

FORMS OF DISCIPLINE

Three forms of discipline, in particular, are discussed in the current scientific literature:

• reasoning, or away-from-the-moment discussions; and
• disciplinary spanking.

Time-out is one of the most effective disciplinary techniques available to parents of young children, aged two years through primary school years ( 5 ). The time-out strategy is effective because it keeps the child from receiving attention that may inadvertently reinforce inappropriate behaviour. Like any other procedure, time-out must be used correctly to be effective. It must be used unemotionally and consistently every time the child misbehaves. Research on why time-out works effectively has been published in detail ( 2 – 5 ). How time-out is initiated is important, as is what the child does during this time, how time-out is terminated, and what the parent does when it is over.

Some suggestions for parents on effective time-out include the following:

• Introduce time-out by 24 months.
• Pick the right place. Be sure the time-out place does not have built-in rewards. The television should not be on during time-out.
• Time-out should last 1 min per year of the child’s age, to a maximum of 5 min.
• Prepare the child by briefly helping him or her connect the behaviour with the time-out. A simple phrase, such as “no hitting,” is enough.
• Parents should avoid using time-out for teaching or preaching. When the child is in time-out, he should be ignored.
• The parent should be the time keeper.
• After time-out is over, it is over. Create a fresh start by offering a new activity. Don’t discuss the unwanted behaviour. Just move on.

As with other disciplinary techniques, parents should refrain from hurting the child’s self-esteem by instilling shame, guilt, loss of trust or a sense of abandonment.

If used properly, time-out will work over time. It may not necessarily eliminate the unwanted behaviour, but it will decrease the frequency. If time-out does not work after repeated tries, a consult is recommended.

Parents should be advised that these general guidelines may need to be adjusted to suit the particular temperament of the child. Parents may have to experiment with the length of time-out, because 1 min per year of age may be too long for some children.

Physicians may want to have a handout available that teaches parents how to use time-out procedures correctly according to the child’s age, personality, level of development, and so on.

Reasoning or away-from-the-moment discussions

Discipline involves teaching positive behaviour as well as changing unwanted behaviour. That is, children need to know what to do as well as what not to do. In general, it is more effective to anticipate and prevent undesirable behaviour than to punish it. ‘Away from the moment’ refers to dealing with the difficult behaviour not in the heat of the moment, but rather in advance or away from the actual misbehaviour. An away-from-the-moment discussion can help prevent undesirable behaviour by giving parents the opportunity to teach the child the desirable behaviour in advance. This technique is not appropriate for use in children younger than three years to four years of age ( 6 ).

Disciplinary spanking

The Psychosocial Paediatrics Committee of the Canadian Paediatric Society has carefully reviewed the available research in the controversial area of disciplinary spanking ( 7 – 15 ). The existing research is not in the form of double-blind, randomized controlled trials, as such studies would be impossible to conduct. Moreover, no modern ethics committee is likely to approve research that involves violence against children. The research that is available supports the position that spanking and other forms of physical punishment are associated with negative child outcomes.

The Canadian Paediatric Society, therefore, recommends that physicians strongly discourage disciplinary spanking and all other forms of physical punishment. Physical redirection or restraint to support time-out or to prevent a child from harming himself or others may be necessary, but should be done carefully and without violence.

Physical harm to a child inflicted by a parent out of control and in a rage is completely inappropriate and dangerous. During periods of anticipatory guidance on appropriate discipline, physicians should also remind parents to take a time-out for themselves before they lose control.

Discipline is about changing behaviour, not about punishing children. Discipline allows children to develop self-discipline, and helps them become emotionally and socially mature adults. There are many effective techniques that can help parents teach and guide their children, and some forms of discipline will always remain controversial.

The physician’s role is to take an anticipatory approach to discipline, which involves asking questions about techniques used in the home. Physicians should actively counsel parents about discipline and specifically discourage all forms of physical punishment, including the use of spanking.

The physician, while taking a complete psychosocial history, should include a discussion on effective means of discipline. A balanced view should be offered to families. The physician should be an advocate for the child as well as a resource for the parent in offering counselling and anticipatory guidance. Inappropriate forms of discipline should be identified and corrected. Special attention should be given to the child’s age, level of development and temperament when giving advice on effective means of discipline.

Consideration should be given to cultural differences, and adjustments should be made for a developmentally challenged child. It is essential to emphasize to parents the importance of being consistent, being a good role model and avoiding empty threats, ie, not following through with consequences.

Effective discipline should be based on academic facts rather than subjective opinion. The conclusions and recommendations in this statement should, therefore, be viewed as subject to revision and clarification as data continue to accumulate.

PSYCHOSOCIAL PAEDIATRICS COMMITTEE (2003–2004)

Members: Drs Kim Burrows, Kelowna, British Columbia; Anthony Ford-Jones, The Burlington Professional Centre, Burlington, Ontario; Gilles Fortin, Hôpital Sainte-Justine, Montreal, Quebec; Sally Longstaffe, Children’s Hospital, Winnipeg, Manitoba (chair); Theodore Prince, Calgary, Alberta; Sarah Shea, IWK Health Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia (board representative)

Liaisons: Drs Jane Foy, Wake Forest University School of Medicine, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, USA (Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, American Academy of Pediatrics); Rose Geist, The Hospital for Sick Children, Toronto, Ontario (Canadian Academy of Child Psychiatry); Anton Miller, Sunny Hill Health Centre for Children, Toronto, Ontario (Developmental Paediatrics Section, Canadian Paediatric Society)

Principal authors: Drs Peter Nieman, Calgary, Alberta; Sarah Shea, IWK Health Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia

The recommendations in this statement do not indicate an exclusive course of treatment or procedure to be followed. Variations, taking into account individual circumstances, may be appropriate.

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Essay On Discipline – 10 Lines, Short & Long Essay For Children

Key Points To Remember When Writing Essay On Discipline For Lower Primary Classes

10 lines on discipline for kids, a paragraph on discipline for kids, short essay on discipline in english for children, long essay on the importance of discipline for kids, what will your child learn from the essay on discipline.

Adopting discipline in your life is not tough if it starts from childhood. Childhood is the stage of life where kids can easily adapt to any habits. Therefore, to make them learn discipline, you can make them write an essay on discipline for classes 1, 2 and 3.

Moreover, if you are a teacher, you must make children understand the importance of discipline. To do so, you can give them the discipline essay in English. This way, they will know the benefits of living a life in a disciplined manner. Only discipline can make everyone focus on their goals and give them the determination to achieve them.

Discipline creates motivation in people to move ahead in life, and it also brings positivity and punctuality to their day to day lives. When writing an essay on discipline, the words are never limited. However, if the essay is to be written by children in primary classes, they must know certain tips for writing an essay on discipline. So, here are some key points:

• One must start an essay with a simple introductory note.
• You must keep the central idea of an essay to the point and move forward with it in the entire essay.
• The structure of the essay is the most important part, and therefore, it should be properly synchronised.
• The essay must contain facts and no bluffs.
• When writing on discipline, mention its importance, types, benefits, habits, etc.

Now that you have understood what is necessary for writing an essay, it’s time for you to write a discipline essay. We all know about the importance of discipline, so we must bring such significant facts to kids’ knowledge. So, here are the 10 lines of essays on discipline for class 2 kids.

• Discipline must be a fundamental rule of everyone’s life.
• We must show discipline in our way of dressing, sitting, and talking to our way of living.
• Discipline helps us maintain punctuality, peace, and an organised lifestyle.
• Discipline helps us focus on our studies and achieve our goals.
• It teaches us to follow certain rules and regulations.
• Discipline plays a significant role in our life.
• It is the hidden secret of success.
• Great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru, Subhash Chandra Bose, and everyone were highly disciplined.
• Discipline enhances our habits, manners, and character.
• To have a successful life, we all must maintain discipline.

Teachers give the students of primary classes to write discipline essays in 100 words. For their help, we are here with a short paragraph on discipline.

Without discipline, no one can achieve anything substantial in their lives. It helps us create a focused and happy life, guides our inner self to follow a good path and enhances self-control. Due to these benefits, discipline becomes essential to everyone’s life. There are many rules and regulations in our daily life, and if we follow them, we adopt discipline in our activities. Some ways of maintaining discipline are waking early in the morning, walking or sitting decently, talking politely, being punctual, etc. Therefore, we must always be disciplined and lead a happy life.

Discipline is for everyone, whether humans, animals or non-livings. Sunrises from the east every morning and sets down in the west every evening is also some kind of discipline. So, to understand this concept, here is a brief essay on discipline in 150 words.

Discipline is a very vital part of our lives. If it is correctly implemented in our lives, there will be no obstacle in our success path that we cannot fight. Therefore, it is necessary to enforce discipline in our lives from the childhood stage only. At school, home, tuition, office, playground, and everywhere, we must follow the right path, i.e., discipline. When you live a disciplined life, you get lots of growth opportunities.

Discipline shows us the right path towards success and helps us focus on our aims. We also learn to respect others and how to behave in public when we have discipline in our life. Manners, rules, and regulations are highly required aspects of living beings, and all these elements can be obtained by maintaining discipline. To enjoy an organised life, doing all activities in a disciplined way is paramount, like waking up early, having breakfast, lunch, and dinner on time, etc.

We know what discipline is, but do we know the actual meaning of discipline? Discipline is not only obeying elders; it is much more than that. To learn all about it, go through this essay for class 3. If you want your kids to be disciplined, read to them this essay on the need for discipline in life. Here is a long essay in 200 words or more; have a look at it:

Discipline is needed almost everywhere in life, whether it is a school, home, worship place, playground, or even nowadays, online. Discipline is a vital key to success. To succeed in life, you must have self-confidence and a good focus level to achieve the goal. And these things can only be obtained by discipline. Discipline brings lots of changes to our life, and being punctual is the first sign of the following discipline in life.

Moreover, discipline highlights perfection in life. It trains and educates your mind and body to follow the rules and be a most respectful person. If everyone adapts discipline in their life, the entire nation becomes the most reputed and valuable one. Discipline leaves a positive impact on everyone around you.

Being disciplined guides you in different ways and helps you stay healthy, fit, and fine. Discipline encourages you to develop the habit of waking up early and exercising regularly, and it also trains your mind to avoid junk foods. So, from all dimensions, discipline plays a vital role in having a successful life ahead.

By reading the composition on discipline, children learn a lot of things. Here are a few things that children learn from the essay on discipline.

• Discipline is the primary key to success.
• It involves certain rules and regulations.
• Self-discipline is the best way to have control over yourself.
• We must follow discipline everywhere, whether at home, at school, playground, battlefield, in online classes, or at tuition.
• Disciplined people are always respected in society.
• Discipline helps us obey elders, and it teaches us good manners.
• It makes us realise the importance of time.
• It is also significant for the nation’s development and our career building.

What Are The Three Types Of Discipline That Children Should Know About?

The three types of discipline that children should know about are as follows:

• Preventive Discipline: The idea is to take proactive measures against potential disruptive behaviours by outlining expectations and consequences.
• Corrective Discipline: Application of consequences following an infraction. The age and level of the kid should be taken into account before implementing corrective discipline.
• Supportive Discipline: Providing kids with suggestions and options to correct their behaviour and avoid consequences comes under supportive discipline.

How Can You Show Discipline?

To lead a happy life, you must maintain discipline. You can easily differentiate between a disciplined person and an undisciplined person. To show discipline, you must adapt the rules of discipline to your behaviour first. You must build self-discipline and know your strengths. Also, set a goal and follow it strictly. Be healthy, and avoid any bad habits. It will be best to embrace a healthy routine in your life to set an example for others. Your focus, actions, hard work and results will do the talking.

Discipline is not only for students. It is valuable for adults too. Being a disciplined person means following a certain set of rules in life. A disciplined person is always respected in society and is known as the secret to success. So, once you allow discipline to rule your life, you will find valuable changes in your lifestyle.

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Essay On Importance Of Discipline for Students and Children

500+ words essay on importance of discipline.

Discipline refers to the practice of making people obey rules. Furthermore, it also means following certain acceptable standards of behavior. Discipline is certainly an essential thing in everyone’s life. A life without discipline is a life full of chaos and confusion. Most noteworthy, discipline makes a person into a better human being. Discipline is a trait of paramount importance.

Why is Discipline Important?

First of all, discipline helps an individual in becoming more focused. Furthermore, a person of discipline tends to have a much better focus on his work, activities or goals. Discipline, makes a person avoid distractions of various kinds. A feeling of sincerity and seriousness comes in due to discipline. Consequently, a high-quality focus is the result of discipline.

Discipline brings a lot of respect for an individual from others. A disciplined individual by his very nature would command respect from others. Bringing discipline in one’s life is a difficult task. Consequently, people admire such an individual who manages to fills his life with discipline.

Another notable impact of discipline is good health. A disciplined individual has a proper schedule of doing everything. Therefore, an individual of discipline has a fixed time for eating, sleeping, rising, exercising, working, etc. Furthermore, such an individual is very strict with regard to his diet as well. Consequently, all of these measures ensure good health and body fitness of the individual.

Self-control is a praiseworthy benefit of discipline. A person of discipline exercises better restraint and control over his actions. A disciplined person is very careful with the use of his words when talking with others. Furthermore, such an individual ensures that his behaviour is decent and appropriate at all times.

Having more time is a precious advantage of staying in the discipline. A disciplined individual will certainly have more time than an undisciplined individual. This is because a person of discipline will not waste time in useless or worthless activities. Furthermore, an individual of discipline will not donate excessive time on any one task. By following this approach, people would have a lot of free time with them. This free time would certainly not have been possible in case of indiscipline.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Techniques of Discipline

Time management is a very popular technique of discipline. Time management utilizes time as a regulator. Furthermore, time management utilizes the observer of time as the governor. Most noteworthy, time management ensures that the usage of time takes place in an efficient manner. Moreover, time management marks each activity within a boundary of time. Consequently, each activity and task must begin and end at a specific fixed time.

Responsibility based discipline is another technique. Furthermore, this technique co-opts members of an organization to understand remedies for a problem. Responsibility-based discipline involves laying out instructions for modifying future behavior. Also, this takes place by following good respectful role-models.

Another important technique of discipline is corporal punishment . This technique involves scolding, spanking, or hitting people. Most noteworthy, this technique is useful for school students. This is because; many school students are very rude and naughty. Hence, merely mild talking or instructions may not work with them.

In conclusion, discipline is a significantly important quality to have in every walk of life. Discipline is certainly the ladder towards success. Furthermore, discipline brings out the best in us. Most noteworthy, discipline keeps our body, mind, and soul under control.

FAQs on  Importance Of Discipline

Q1 Give any one reason why discipline is important?

A1 One reason why discipline is important is that discipline helps an individual in becoming more focused.

Q2 Name any two techniques of Discipline?

A2 Two techniques of discipline are time management and responsibility based discipline.

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Essay on Discipline: Sample Essays of 100, 200 & 400 Words

• Updated on  
• Jan 23, 2024

Discipline is something that assists in keeping a person in control. According to Merriam-Webster ‘Discipline is control gained by enforcing order or obedience ‘. It also refers to orderly conduct or pattern of behaviour. Discipline motivates a person to progress and eventually achieve success. Hence, it is important. There are two types of discipline- induced discipline and self-discipline. An essay on discipline is usually given as a task in a school. Hence, we have provided sample essays on discipline in 200 words, 300 words, and 400 words. Keep reading to know more about the same.

To improve your essay writing skills, here are the top 200+ English Essay Topics for school students.

This Blog Includes:

Essay on discipline (100 words), essay on discipline (200 words), essay on discipline (400 words), 10 lines on discipline, quotes on discipline in students life.

Master the art of essay writing with our blog on How to Write an Essay in English .

Also Read: Essay on Christmas: 100 – 150, 250, and 500 Words

Also Read: Essay on Politics in 500 Words

While writing the essay on disciple a student can include popular quotes. It can make their essays stand out. Moreover, reading quotes on discipline can inspire a student to be disciplined in their life, 

• What lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do.”– Aristotle
• Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”– Jim Rohn
• “There is no magic wand that can resolve our problems. The solution rests with our work and discipline. ”Jose Eduardo dos Santos
• “Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”– Abraham Joshua Heschel
• “For a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories. ” Plato

Also Read: Essay on Technology

An essay on discipline talks about the importance of discipline in a person’s life. A disciple is something that keeps each person in control. It motivates a person to achieve success in their life.

Discipline means being consistent, and following the set rules or order. AA disciplined person will follow the written and unwritten rules. There are several unwritten rules in schools. A disciplined student will follow the written and unwritten rules.

A school discipline essay contains the introduction, body, and conclusion, A student needs to include the importance of discipline while writing the essay.

Check out our Popular Essay Topics for Students

Discipline refers to an orderly conduct or pattern of behaviour. It involves following the rules in a school or an organization. Self-discipline is also important for success in life. For more information on such informative essay topics, visit our essay writing page and follow Leverage Edu .

Blessy George

Blessy George works as a Content Marketing Associate at Leverage Edu. She has completed her M.A. in Political Science and has experience working as an Intern with CashKaro. She has written extensively on studying abroad, English Test preparation, visas, and online courses. During her free time, she likes to read and write poetry, and songs.

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