college essays about parents

College Essay: My Parents’ Sacrifice Makes Me Strong

After living in Texas briefly, my mom moved in with my aunt in Minnesota, where she helped raise my cousins while my aunt and uncle worked. My mom still glances to the building where she first lived. I think it’s amazing how she first moved here, she lived in a small apartment and now owns a house. 

My dad’s family was poor. He dropped out of elementary school to work. My dad was the only son my grandpa had. My dad thought he was responsible to help his family out, so he decided to leave for Minnesota   because  of  many  work opportunities .   

My parents met working in cleaning at the IDS  C enter during night shifts. I am their only child, and their main priority was not leaving me alone while they worked. My mom left her cleaning job to work mornings at a warehouse. My dad continued his job in cleaning at night.   

My dad would get me ready for school and walked me to the bus stop while waiting in the cold. When I arrived home from school, my dad had dinner prepared and the house cleaned. I would eat with him at the table while watching TV, but he left after to pick up my mom from work.   

My mom would get home in the afternoon. Most memories of my mom are watching her lying down on the couch watching her  n ovelas  –  S panish soap operas  – a nd falling asleep in the living room. I knew her job was physically tiring, so I didn’t bother her.  

Seeing my parents work hard and challenge Mexican customs influence my values today as a person. As a child, my dad cooked and cleaned, to help out my mom, which is rare in Mexican culture. Conservative Mexicans believe men are superior to women; women are seen as housewives who cook, clean and obey their husbands. My parents constantly tell me I should get an education to never depend on a man. My family challenged  machismo , Mexican sexism, by creating their own values and future.  

My parents encouraged me to, “ ponte  las  pilas ” in school, which translates to “put on your batteries” in English. It means that I should put in effort and work into achieving my goal. I was taught that school is the key object in life. I stay up late to complete all my homework assignments, because of this I miss a good amount of sleep, but I’m willing to put in effort to have good grades that will benefit me. I have softball practice right after school, so I try to do nearly all of my homework ahead of time, so I won’t end up behind.  

My parents taught me to set high standards for myself. My school operates on a 4.0-scale. During lunch, my friends talked joyfully about earning a 3.25 on a test. When I earn less than a 4.25, I feel disappointed. My friends reacted with, “You should be happy. You’re extra . ” Hearing that phrase flashbacks to my parents seeing my grades. My mom would pressure me to do better when I don’t earn all 4.0s  

Every once in  awhile , I struggled with following their value of education. It can be difficult to balance school, sports and life. My parents think I’m too young to complain about life. They don’t think I’m tired, because I don’t physically work, but don’t understand that I’m mentally tired and stressed out. It’s hard for them to understand this because they didn’t have the experience of going to school.   

The way I could thank my parents for their sacrifice is accomplishing their American dream by going to college and graduating to have a professional career. I visualize the day I graduate college with my degree, so my  family  celebrates by having a carne  asada (BBQ) in the yard. All my friends, relatives, and family friends would be there to congratulate me on my accomplishments.  

As teenagers, my parents worked hard manual labor jobs to be able to provide for themselves and their family. Both of them woke up early in the morning to head to work. Staying up late to earn extra cash. As teenagers, my parents tried going to school here in the U.S .  but weren’t able to, so they continued to work. Early in the morning now, my dad arrives home from work at 2:30 a.m .,  wakes up to drop me off at school around 7:30 a.m . , so I can focus on studying hard to earn good grades. My parents want me to stay in school and not prefer work to  head on their  same path as them. Their struggle influences me to have a good work ethic in school and go against the odds.  

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Narrative Essay: I Love My Parents

Parents are the closest people that we have in our lives, whether we realize it or not. They love us not because we are smart, beautiful, successful or we have a good sense of humour, but just because we are their children. I, too, love mom and dad simply because they are my parents, but I think I would have felt the same even if they weren’t. I love who they are as people, each with their own individual traits – and, together, forming an amazing super-team that’s made me who I am today and taught me what life is all about.

My mother is a cheerful, chatty perfectionist who seems to always find something to get excited about and who can talk for hours about animals and flowers. She is never afraid to speak her mind and she can be very convincing when she wants to. She sometimes get upset a bit too easily, but she is just as quick to forgive and forget. I love mom for all that she is – even when she’s angry – for all that she has done for me, and for all that she’s taught me. My mom has been through a lot throughout the years, but she always kept fighting.She taught me to never lose hope even in the direst of moments, and she showed me how to look for happiness in the small things. She’s been trying to teach me to be more organized as well, but hasn’t succeeded yet. I love her for that too.

My father is quiet, patient and calm, and he has an adorable hit-and-miss sense of humour. I may not always find his jokes that funny, but I love him for trying. Dad almost never gets angry and he is always polite, friendly and nice to everyone. He is not the one to verbalize emotions, but he always shows his feelings through sweet gestures and little surprizes. He is the pacifist in our family and never goes against mom’s wishes, but he runs a large company witha firm hand. I love my father for all these characteristics and for all he’s sacrificed to build a better life for us. He’s worked day and night to ensure we afford good education and have a rich, wonderful childhood, and he has passed up many great opportunities for the benefit of our family. I love dad because he’s taught me that you cannot have it all in life, but with hard work and dedication, you can have what matters most to you.

Mom and dad may be very different people, but they complement each other perfectly. Together, they formed a super-team that was always there – and, thankfully, still is – to provide comfort, nurturing, and support and help me grow as a person. Their complementary personalities bring balance in our family, and each of them steps in whenever they are needed the most. Together, they taught me to believe in myself and have turned me into a fighter. Their care and dedication towards me and each other has served as an example of what healthy relationships should be like, and I love and admire them for that.

I love my parents because they are my parents, my good friends, my heroes, my role models, my safe haven, my pillars of strength.I am who I am today thanks to them, and I know that their support and affection will play an essential role in what I will become in the future.All I can hope is that, when I have children of my own, I will be half as good a parent as they were to me.

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Should Parents Help Students Write College Essays?

What’s covered:, how involved should parents be with college applications, 4 ways parents can help with college essays, 4 elements of a good college essay, where your student can get their essay edited.

High schoolers applying to college go through a lot—from filling out multiple applications, keeping up impressive grades and extracurriculars, and writing dozens of college essays. Parents might be tempted to help out their kids and ease some of their burden during this busy time. But, should parents help write their kids’ college essays?

When it comes to helping out with the college process, parents should act as more of a coach or cheerleader than a director. Rather than hovering over your student and telling them when to fill out certain applications, what to write in their essays, and what safety schools to apply to, take a step back and support them without smothering them.

As a coach, parents can guide their student to keep them on schedule, have productive conversations about different college options and financial aid, and offer feedback and edits on essays. It’s important that parents don’t step in and play the game for themselves, so to speak, but rather assist their kid in reaching their full potential.

Another role parents can play is the cheerleader: encourage them through this challenging time and keep them engaged even when they get burnt out. The application process isn’t easy for students or parents, but having someone in your corner to cheer you on will help motivate students to keep going.

Since parents should not be at the helm, they should not do anything active like writing essays. More importantly, a parent directly writing any part of an essay would be plagiarism, and admissions officers can pick up on it via software and their intuition. Essays must be written with the student’s authentic voice and ideas. Here are some things parents can do:

1. Proofread Drafts

Every essay a student writes will likely have to go through multiple drafts—each time tweaking grammar, cutting down words, adding details, moving around sentences, etc. Parents can help expedite this process by reading over the essay drafts and providing constructive feedback. Important details to check for include:

• Are there spelling errors or typos?
• Could the grammar be elevated with literary devices or different diction?
• Does this sound like my student speaking or a thesaurus? 
• Does the essay flow in a manner that is easy to follow?

2. Brainstorm Essay Topics

Figuring out how to answer each prompt can be difficult and exhausting when students have so many essays to write. This is a good place for parents to jump in and “coach” their students; sit down for a few hours and start brainstorming topics and themes that could work for various prompts. 

A good way to organize brainstorming sessions is to break down essay prompts into categories ( “Why This Major?”, “Extracurricular”, “Community Impact”, “Overcoming Challenges” , etc.) and come up with five to ten stories or answers for each category.

3. Help Students Recall Childhood Memories and Stories

Along the lines of brainstorming, parents can play a huge role in reminding their students of anecdotes from their childhood that could make for a good essay. While you shouldn’t recount stories from your point of view that would color their perspective, parents can show pictures and videos, talk through some of their fondest memories of their kids, and fill in any gaps in stories kids partially remember.

4. Help Students Reflect on Who They Are

One of the important aspects of college essays is the ability to engage in self reflection and think about your character development and growth. This can be a lot for a teenager to do on their own, so it’s a good place for parents to provide some extra support.

Walk your child through some brainstorming exercises. Ask questions like “What three words would best describe you”, “What’s a good example of how you approach a challenge/new idea/etc”, “What are your personal and career goals”,  and “How have you grown as a person since you were younger” .

Another way parents can help their kids is by ensuring they cover the bases that make a good essay. Make sure to check out our ultimate guide to college essays to learn how to write a good essay, but below are a handful of the things to check for:

1. Answers the 4 Core Questions

When it comes to a strong college essay, there are four questions that should be answered. These are:

• “Who Am I?”
• “Why Am I Here?”
• “What is Unique About Me?”
• “What Matters to Me?”

These might seem like daunting philosophical questions, but with an intentional, well-crafted essay, you’ll find that the answers to these questions come naturally. Perhaps a more helpful way to look at these questions would be the following:

• What are your personality traits?
• What was your journey through high school? What were you interested in and found meaningful? How have you evolved as you have grown?
• Between your interests, skills, way of thinking, and personality, why are you different from other applicants?
• What is something you care deeply about above all else?

2. Author’s Voice is Authentic and Approachable

Essays are the one opportunity for admissions committees to hear directly from the applicant. For that reason, the essay should sound like a high school student wrote it. Without being overly casual, make sure the tone of the essay reads like a conversation with a friend.

Don’t rely too heavily on a thesaurus and don’t worry about stuffing the essay full of metaphors and figurative language—this isn’t an essay for an English class!

3. Shows Instead of Tells

While the advice to “ show not tell ” in your writing might not be new, it could not be more important. What truly sets apart a good essay from a great essay is the ability to paint a picture for the reader with imagery. 

A sentence like this, “I love the thrill of competing in the Math Olympiad,” simply tells the reader what the student enjoys. However, look at the difference when a sentence shows us what a student loves: “ Badum. Badum. Badum. The heavy thumping of my heart echoed painfully in my ears as a droplet of sweat made a lazy trail down my back. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I whispered “ 7? ” as the time ran out.”

3. Avoids Cliches

Imagine reading through thousands upon thousands of essays every year as an admissions officer. After your 50th essay about scoring the winning goal at the soccer game, being changed by a volunteer trip to another country, or some other overused topic, you’ll no longer connect with these stories.

No matter how beautifully an essay is written, a cliche topic just makes admissions officers want to groan and get to the next one. Make sure your essay doesn’t fall into a traditional cliche topic to make it engaging and enjoyable to read.

4. Includes an Anecdote or Personal Story

Anecdotes bring excitement and personal depth to essays. They provide an easy way for a student to show what was happening in the moment that had such a profound impact on them. Including an anecdote also facilitates personal reflection because there is a solid foundation established. Once the reader can connect with a story, they are able to better empathize with the student and appreciate their character.

Editing college essays is a great way for parents to get involved, but it can be time consuming to read through multiple essays. Luckily, CollegeVine offers two avenues for students to get their essays reviewed. 

Our free Peer Essay Review tool allows students to get a free review of their essay from another student. Students can also improve their own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If students want a college admissions expert to review their essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for your student to improve their chances of getting into their dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

The Parents’ Role in the College Essay

To the ever-under-appreciated parents of teenagers,

We know how hard it is to be parents. You’re walking a fine line between wanting what is best for your children and trying to let them make their own decisions (and, let’s be honest, their own mistakes). Your child will only apply to college once, and it can be difficult to know how to balance your parental instincts with letting your student take ownership of the process. The good news is that we are here to make your life a little easier by allowing you to take a step back while we harangue your child to help get him where he needs to be in the admissions process.

Let’s address what’s probably the most stressful part of our journey together: the college essays. We will tackle this in three parts: first, we will discuss how most kids approach their essays, how Passport Admissions works with your child on their essays, and the best role of parents in this process.

How Most Kids Approach the College Essay

Most seventeen-year-olds think, “What can I say that will make colleges accept me?” They write essays based on what they believe colleges want to hear. And as a result, most kids make crucial mistakes in their college essays.

Mistake #1 - Most kids brag too much in their college essays.

How many valedictorians apply to college? All of them. How many class presidents? All of them. How many team captains? You get the idea.

There is virtually nothing that kids can brag about that will sell themselves to an admissions office. When a student tries to brag about himself in his essay: a) it doesn't work, and b) the essay blends into the pile of all the other applicants who are trying to do the same thing.

Mistake #2 - Most kids write essays that look and sound the same.

A former admissions officer for UVA, Parke Muth, once compared the college essay to a Big Mac.  Not because the essays are tasty and not because they have layers (though it can be argued that the college essay, like the Big Mac, is hazardous to your health). No, the college essay is like a Big Mac, because no matter where you go, the essays look and taste the same. Thus, Muth coined the term McEssay to refer to the generic college essay.

McEssays typically fall into one of the following five flavors. You will want to avoid these topics at all costs.

• The hard work essay - "Being captain of the soccer team involved a lot of hard work, but I learned important lessons in leadership and perseverance."
• The family trip to Europe essay - "Going to France showed me just how different other cultures are."
• The summer program for gifted youth essay - "I am so fortunate to have been able to attend the National Youth Leadership Conference."
• The athletics essay - "We lost the championship, but we came together as a team."
• The saving the world through community service essay - "Building houses in Mexico was so rewarding."

We know these experiences have been meaningful to many of our students. But writing a McEssay makes a student blend in with every other applicant, so we have to find a unique topic.

Mistake #3 - Most kids polish all of the personality out of their essays.

Most students write their college essays by committee, seeking input and feedback from multiple teachers and parents, who - despite good intentions - will polish all of the life and personality out of the essay. Your teenager should sound like a teenager in his college essay. Consider the following excerpts:

"My nascent drum career began when I was twelve. Learning to play the drums was quite challenging at first, because I had little formal training and needed to learn more about rhythm and chord structure in order to contribute to my band. After rehearsing for innumerable hours, I eventually was able to keep up, but I still needed more help. I decided to get lessons to help improve my overall musical knowledge and particularly improve my music theory. In the end, the lessons paid off, and our band was better than ever."

"A band's drummer is the stupid one. He is the one paid not to write songs or to think, but to sit in the back and hit his instrument, as he is clearly far too idiotic to do anything more. I am a drummer, and while I like to think I am above this stereotype, I do sit in the back, behind all the “real musicians,” blissfully ignorant of ongoing deliberation over “What capo he needs to be in to be in the key of G”, perfectly happy that I understand none of it and absolutely satisfied with my lack of involvement, or responsibility to the band’s success. This being said, I am a good drummer, and when a musician needed a moron - I was a solid choice."

Which sounds like a high school student, and which like a parent? In revising an essay, it is crucial to keep the voice of the student and not to make it sound like it was written by a 40-year-old.

The Primary Purpose of the College Essay

The primary purpose of the college essay is to let the college get to know you and like you. That's it. When evaluating a college essay, we ask:

• What do we learn about you?
• Do we like you?
• Is it interesting?
• Is it generally free from grammatical and stylistic errors?

What role should parents play?

You know your kid a lot better than we do. We can't tell you exactly how much parental involvement will be the right amount for your student.

But we can at least share this insight about the college essays: the students who have had the most success have been the ones whose parents have been involved the least. Almost without fail, the students who have been accepted into their top choice colleges have been the ones whose parents have trusted their student to write great essays, helped their student only when asked, and otherwise stayed out of the process entirely.  And of course, these are the same families that seem to most enjoy the last year of their child living at home.

So there you have it. We hope that you are as excited as we are to help your student write the best essays she can write. Remember that we are not only experts on this stuff, but we really, really enjoy doing it. For us, editing is fun, and getting to know your student and his passions is what makes our jobs interesting and worthwhile.

If you have questions or want help with your college essay, schedule a free introductory meeting with one of our college advisors.

clock This article was published more than  3 years ago

Experts offer four reasons why kids need to own their college essays — and one way parents can help

The day the Operation Varsity Blues admissions scandal broke, I was gutted. The news that a well-heeled cohort of parents paid eye-watering amounts of money to get their kids into brand-name universities felt acutely damaging and unfair — not only to the kids who earned their admissions offers honestly but also to those kids whose parents conned the system.

Beyond telegraphing to students that it’s okay to cheat, the message these parents sent to their children was: You know all that hard work you did in high school? None of it is good enough.

Admittedly, the college application process can be overwhelming, and kids could use some assistance navigating it all. But if the college application process feels as if it’s gotten out of hand, we parents — with our resources and connections, degrees and expectations — are at least partly to blame.

“Can we just say how crazy it is that we even have to have this conversation in the first place?” says Macy Lenox, a mom of two and an associate dean of admissions at the University of Virginia. “As a parent myself, I don’t come to this from a place of judgment but from one of understanding. We’re drowning our kids in our best intentions. We’ve lost sight of our job, which is not to be the applicant, but to be the best supporters of the applicant we can be.” This means demonstrating confidence in their abilities, Lenox says. “By doing things for them, you’re saying, I can do this better than you . Part of our job is empowering them to be advocates for themselves; to be successful in college, you’ve got to be able to use your own voice.”

Yet when we hear stories from friends or read posts on social media about all the hoop-jumping necessary to get into college these days, it’s understandably crazy-making. Even the most stalwart defenders of their kids’ independence can lose sight of the line between supporting and doing the work for them. And while most parents would rightfully balk at the idea of, say, rigging their kid’s SAT score , or Photoshopping their child’s face onto the body of an athlete in a sport their kid doesn’t play , the writing of college essays — with their lack of oversight, benchmarks or guarantees — remains a gray area.

Shawn Felton, senior director of undergraduate admissions at Cornell University, stresses how essential it is that kids don’t leapfrog over the opportunities for introspection intrinsic in writing essays. “Applying to college is a milestone marked by an applicant’s commitment to invest in further engaging, understanding and communicating themselves [to people] beyond those who have always known them,” Felton says. “Colleges ask applicants to take a look inside themselves and consider who they are and what they want. My hope is that individuals invest in better knowing themselves during this moment, and that they bring a real authenticity to communicating with colleges when writing their essays.”

Parents can, however, support their kids through this process, which includes encouraging them to do the challenging and ultimately gratifying work of telling their story on the page. Here, college admissions experts offer four reasons why parents should take a step back — and one way we can lean into the moment.

Writing their college essays helps kids gear up for success after high school . “The admission experience is a precursor to life in college — parents are not going to be there to concierge for their child,” says Rick Clark, director of undergraduate admission at Georgia Tech and author of “ The Truth About College Admission .” Clark says that the essays are the one place on the application that kids’ voices can come through: “That’s fundamentally the point of the essay — it’s important for the applicant to examine and articulate what matters to them . When parents become a second author, they rob the essay of the very thing we’re looking for, which is the student’s voice.”

“The college search itself is a learning experience, and everything changes so much from the time kids start the process to the time they enroll. In writing the essays, kids should discover something that’s important to them,” says education journalist and author of Jeff Selingo, who spent a year embedded in admissions offices at competitive colleges around the country for his book “ Who Gets in and Why?: A Year Inside College Admissions .” On a practical note, Selingo adds: “You’re going to have to be able to write when you’re in college; you might as well learn how to write now.”

Writing is therapy. “It can be frustrating to watch students grapple with their personal narratives, but when adults impose their word choices and life experiences on a student’s college essays, it sacrifices the authenticity,” says Mike Mallory, a former associate dean of admissions at U-Va. and current president and CEO of the Ron Brown Scholar Fund.

Mallory, who has been reading college essays for more than three decades, including more than 2,000 essays each year written by the high-achieving African American students who apply for the Ron Brown program, emphasizes that the exercise of telling your story is part of the coming-of-age of the college process: “ The inherent value of an essay is the opportunity for reflection and growth, and drafting essays involves a decision-making process that can be as unique as a thumbprint. When students decide on their own topic, ... it’s invariably much better than whatever someone else might come up with for them. It may not be an easy topic to write about, but if it’s yours, no one should dissuade you from writing it.”

Admissions officers know what a 17-year-old voice sounds like — and what a 47-year-old voice sounds like. “When parents overly coach or even write the essays, they usually end up trying to shoehorn their kid’s entire life into a couple of hundred words, or trying to write a list of what they think the admissions officers want to read — I started a nonprofit, I went on a service trip to fill-in-the-blank country . It’s highly mind-numbing,” Selingo says. “Admissions officers are really looking for something they can’t learn from other parts of the application, the slice-of-life stories. It’s the authenticity of the kid’s voice that makes an essay stand out. ”

UVA’s Lenox underscores this point: “The best essays are the ones where we don’t just want to admit the student, we want to take them out for coffee once they’re here. We’re not admitting academic machines — we’re admitting classmates and roommates and kids who will make thoughtful contributions to our community.”

If you write your kid’s essay, you’re depriving them of the opportunity to recognize just how much they do bring to the table. “Communicating with intent and purpose through their admission essays is a kind of writing exercise that most college applicants have not experienced,” Cornell’s Felton says. “Just like the life journeys of most college applicants are still being shaped and realized, so, too, are their communication and writing skills. When reading college application essays, we expect to see this unfinished vulnerability on display in a distinct, unique way for each applicant. It’s important for us to hear directly from each applicant about their story and how it’s going so far.”

Essays can provide a growth opportunity for parents, too. Yes, kids need to write their own essays, but they don’t have to do it alone. Whitney Soule, dean of admissions and student aid at Bowdoin College, adds that parents can help with essays by encouraging them to flesh out their thoughts and ensure clarity: “Parents can be a sounding board for an idea, asking questions that help the student develop that idea further or let them know if a description is confusing. When anyone besides the student does the writing, it actually interferes with how that picture comes together for us in admissions.”

Lenox says that the most effective editing is in questioning, not rewriting: “Parents can ask what did you mean by that? Is it clear to the audience? Polishing is clarity, not changing. Kids should be asked this many times over to ensure they’re not just throwing out an answer that they think you want to hear.”

Parents should certainly play a supporting role in perhaps the most important aspect of the college process: helping kids thrive wherever they enroll. “Parents love their kids, but your job as a parent isn’t to get your kid into a certain school,” Clark says. “Your job is to prepare them for wherever they go. Build the foundation — not just academically. Wherever they land, you want them to be successful.”

Adrienne Wichard-Edds is a writer and co-founder of www.theessaycoaches.com . Follow her on Twitter at @WichardEdds .

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More reading:

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To get into college, Harvard report calls for kindness over overachieving

Can’t tour college because of the coronavirus? Here are other ways to do it.

5 College Essay Tips for Parents

So, if you’re a parent or guardian, take heart, you have an important place in this process (even as you see your kids growing up). And high schoolers, don’t worry, we respect your space. Make sure to forward this list to mom and/or dad so that they know what to do.

1. Start early.

When you enter the insanity that is college admissions, everyone needs to be on the same page about timeline. There is A LOT of writing involved, so the earlier you get started, the better. The Common App prompts are already out so now is a great time to look them over and do some preliminary brainstorming. Parents, this could mean that you do a little nagging in the next few months, or it could mean that you help your kids get organized and protect their time by making sure their schedules are not overloaded. (Pro tip: there are only 24 hours in a day.)

2. Understand that this is a process.

As we tell our students all the time, great writing doesn’t happen overnight. It won’t happen in one sitting and it definitely won’t happen without effort. It’s important to remember this when looking over early drafts. Don’t be too hard on your college hopefuls, and don’t let them be too hard on themselves. Frustration and procrastination are often symptoms of perfectionism, and you can play a key role in helping manage stress and expectations.

3. Make yourself a resource.

Your memory is a goldmine. You remember SO MUCH that your kids may not be able to recall. Encourage them to ask you questions, to look through old photo albums with you, or to mine your memory in other ways. The kinds of details that you can recall may spark new ideas and will definitely contribute colorful details to the narrative.

4. Remember whose essay this is.

As much as you may know or remember, at the end of the day, this essay is not supposed to represent your memories or feelings or worldview. While your thoughts may be helpful during the early phases of the writing process, it’s important for you to step back as the essay develops. You know, like that time you finally let go of the bicycle seat.

5. Know when it’s time to ask for outside help.

Under the intense pressure of the college admissions process, tempers can flare and otherwise copacetic relationships can become strained. As much as parental involvement can help during the writing process, that doesn’t mean it definitely will help. Sometimes it can feel like extra pressure and scrutiny. Distance can be your friend, and there’s no shame in calling for a mediator during this trying time. That’s what we’re for. Our lines are always open.

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Written by Thea Hogarth

Category: Essay Tips

Tags: Admissions , advice , college application , college essay , common application , guidance , help , junior year , parents , tips

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June 8, 2023

The Fingerprints of Parents in College Essays

One question we at Ivy Coach sometimes get from parents during free consultations goes like this: “Can’t college admissions officers tell you had a hand in your students’ essays?” Our answer? “If college admissions officers suspected we had a hand in brainstorming and revising our students’ essays, we wouldn’t be very good at what we do, and our students wouldn’t be earning admission to their dream schools year after year over the last 30 years.”

You see, when we revise our students’ essays, we leave not one fingerprint in any one of these essays. We don’t use words that businesspeople, doctors, and lawyers use. We teach our students not to use big words when small words will do just fine. Thinking of using the word “plethora” or “copious”? You’re not the only student who learned these words in preparation for the SAT. Write “a lot” instead so it doesn’t appear like you’re trying to impress.

We teach our students to dare to write fragments. We teach our students to dare to defy the rules so many high school English teachers hammer into their heads. 

In our experience, teenagers write a certain way, and even those students with perfect or near-perfect reading scores on the SAT or ACT, with perfect scores on AP English Language and Composition and AP English Literature and Composition, aren’t strong writers. Yes, most high school students can’t write very well . It’s a sad truth. It was the case in 1993. It’s the case in 2023.

At Ivy Coach, we help make their prose much more compelling so that they stand out and effectively dare admissions officers not to offer them admission.

Do Parents Write College Essays?

Some parents  think  they’re good writers. As such, they feel confident attempting to spruce up — or even outright write — their child’s college essays. But their confidence is  sorely misplaced . Admissions officers  weren’t  born yesterday. They can so often tell when a parent wrote a college essay or even fine-tuned a student’s story. It’s typically quite noticeable.

The Invisible Fingerprint of Parents in College Essays

And, no, not just anyone should be editing college essays — and especially not parents. A few years ago, we read a terrific editorial in  The New York Times  penned by JM Farkas. The piece, aptly titled “ How I Know You Wrote Your Kid’s College Essay ,” references one specific fingerprint parents so often leave behind in college essays. It’s an invisible fingerprint . It’s one we’ve written about many times over the years on the pages of our college admissions blog.

So what might this invisible fingerprint be? It’s two spaces after a period. You see, many parents grew up using typewriters or word processors. Their English teachers taught them to place two spaces after each period. But kids these days don’t put two spaces after a period. Have you ever seen two spaces after a period on any of our blogs? Nope. Scan the pages of our website — just one space after each period.

The two spaces fingerprint is but one such fingerprint of parents in college admissions essays. Fancy words. Business-y buzzwords, even simple expressions like “next steps.” These are significant red flags in college essays that point to the assistance of a parent.

What Happens If a Parent Is Caught Writing a College Essay?

So what happens if an admissions officer at an elite university raises a red flag after reading a college essay that hints at a parent’s participation in the writing process?  That’s easy . The admissions officer will recommend denying the student admission without further consideration. It will cost a student any chance of admission.

We Leave No Fingerprint in Our Students’ College Essays

A few years ago, we came across an essay that was even written in the third person . The parent must have forgotten to write in the student’s voice. Oy vey is right! It’s so very easy to tell when parents — who are often not particularly good writers themselves — have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays. It’s also very easy to tell when bad high school English teachers , school counselors, and private college counselors have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays.

One of the reasons we at Ivy Coach are able to help our students earn admission to their dream schools year after year is because an admissions officer would never know we helped revise their essays. After all, good writing is about brainstorming and revising. It’s true for novels. It’s true for television scribes. It’s true for journalists. Through the revision process, students even become more persuasive writers. It’s a big part of Ivy Coach’s secret sauce, a sauce which happens to be delicious. Notice we didn’t say toothsome .

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• Knowledge Base
• College essay
• College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn’t

College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't

Published on November 8, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

One effective method for improving your college essay is to read example essays . Here are three sample essays, each with a bad and good version to help you improve your own essay.

Table of contents

Essay 1: sharing an identity or background through a montage, essay 2: overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative, essay 3: showing the influence of an important person or thing, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

This essay uses a montage structure to show snapshots of a student’s identity and background. The writer builds her essay around the theme of the five senses, sharing memories she associates with sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.

In the weak rough draft, there is little connection between the individual anecdotes, and they do not robustly demonstrate the student’s qualities.

In the final version, the student uses an extended metaphor of a museum to create a strong connection among her stories, each showcasing a different part of her identity. She draws a specific personal insight from each memory and uses the stories to demonstrate her qualities and values.

How My Five Senses Record My Life

Throughout my life, I have kept a record of my life’s journey with my five senses. This collection of memories matters a great deal because I experience life every day through the lens of my identity.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

My classmate pulls one eye up and the other down.

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention to my discomfort, anger, and shame. How could he say such a mean thing about me? What did I do to him? Joseph’s words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Soaking in overflowing bubble baths with Andrew Lloyd Webber belting from the boombox.

Listening to “Cell Block Tango” with my grandparents while eating filet mignon at a dine-in show in Ashland.

Singing “The Worst Pies in London” at a Korean karaoke club while laughing hysterically with my brother, who can do an eerily spot-on rendition of Sweeney Todd.

Taking car rides with Mom in the Toyota Sequoia as we compete to hit the high note in “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera . Neither of us stands a chance!

The sweet scent of vegetables, Chinese noodles, and sushi wafts through the room as we sit around the table. My grandma presents a good-smelling mixture of international cuisine for our Thanksgiving feast. My favorite is the Chinese food that she cooks. Only the family prayer stands between me and the chance to indulge in these delicious morsels, comforting me with their familiar savory scents.

I rinse a faded plastic plate decorated by my younger sister at the Waterworks Art Center. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. I actually don’t mind this daily chore.

I taste sweat on my upper lip as I fight to continue pedaling on a stationary bike. Ava’s next to me and tells me to go up a level. We’re biking buddies, dieting buddies, and Saturday morning carbo-load buddies. After the bike display hits 30 minutes, we do a five-minute cool down, drink Gatorade, and put our legs up to rest.

My five senses are always gathering new memories of my identity. I’m excited to expand my collection.

Word count: 455

College essay checklist

Topic and structure

• I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me.
• My essay reveals something different from the rest of my application.
• I have a clear and well-structured narrative.
• I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

Writing style and tone

• I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.
• I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of tells.
• I’ve used appropriate style and tone for a college essay.
• I’ve used specific, vivid personal stories that would be hard to replicate.
• I’ve demonstrated my positive traits and values in my essay.
• My essay is focused on me, not another person or thing.
• I’ve included self-reflection and insight in my essay.
• I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Making Sense of My Identity

Welcome to The Rose Arimoto Museum. You are about to enter the “Making Sense of My Identity” collection. Allow me to guide you through select exhibits, carefully curated memories from Rose’s sensory experiences.

First, the Sight Exhibit.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention as my lip trembles and palms sweat. Joseph couldn’t have known how his words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Ten years later, these same eyes now fixate on an InDesign layout sheet, searching for grammar errors while my friend Selena proofreads our feature piece on racial discrimination in our hometown. As we’re the school newspaper editors, our journalism teacher Ms. Riley allows us to stay until midnight to meet tomorrow’s deadline. She commends our work ethic, which for me is fueled by writing一my new weapon of choice.

Next, you’ll encounter the Sound Exhibit.

Still, the world is my Broadway as I find my voice on stage.

Just below, enter the Smell Exhibit.

While I help my Pau Pau prepare dinner, she divulges her recipe for cha siu bau, with its soft, pillowy white exterior hiding the fragrant filling of braised barbecue pork inside. The sweet scent of candied yams, fun see , and Spam musubi wafts through the room as we gather around our Thankgsiving feast. After our family prayer, we indulge in these delicious morsels until our bellies say stop. These savory scents of my family’s cultural heritage linger long after I’ve finished the last bite.

Next up, the Touch Exhibit.

I rinse a handmade mug that I had painstakingly molded and painted in ceramics class. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. For a few fleeting moments, as I continue my nightly chore, the pressure of my weekend job, tomorrow’s calculus exam, and next week’s track meet are washed away.

Finally, we end with the Taste Exhibit.

My legs fight to keep pace with the stationary bike as the salty taste of sweat seeps into corners of my mouth. Ava challenges me to take it up a level. We always train together一even keeping each other accountable on our strict protein diet of chicken breasts, broccoli, and Muscle Milk. We occasionally splurge on Saturday mornings after interval training, relishing the decadence of everything bagels smeared with raspberry walnut cream cheese. But this is Wednesday, so I push myself. I know that once the digital display hits 30:00, we’ll allow our legs to relax into a five-minute cool down, followed by the fiery tang of Fruit Punch Gatorade to rehydrate.

Thank you for your attention. This completes our tour. I invite you to rejoin us for next fall’s College Experience collection, which will exhibit Rose’s continual search for identity and learning.

Word count: 649

• I’ve crafted an essay introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay uses a narrative structure to recount how a student overcame a challenge, specifically a sports injury. Since this topic is often overused, the essay requires vivid description, a memorable introduction and conclusion , and interesting insight.

The weak rough draft contains an interesting narrative, insight, and vivid imagery, but it has an overly formal tone that distracts the reader from the story. The student’s use of elaborate vocabulary in every sentence makes the essay sound inauthentic and stilted.

The final essay uses a more natural, conversational tone and chooses words that are vivid and specific without being pretentious. This allows the reader to focus on the narrative and appreciate the student’s unique insight.

One fateful evening some months ago, a defensive linebacker mauled me, his 212 pounds indisputably alighting upon my ankle. Ergo, an abhorrent cracking of calcified tissue. At first light the next day, I awoke cognizant of a new paradigm—one sans football—promulgated by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

It’s been an exceedingly taxing semester not being able to engage in football, but I am nonetheless excelling in school. That twist of fate never would have come to pass if I hadn’t broken my ankle. I still limp down the halls at school, but I’m feeling less maudlin these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, emboldened by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

Five months ago, right after my ill-fated injury, my friends’ demeanor became icy and remote, although I couldn’t fathom why. My teachers, in contrast, beckoned me close and invited me on a new learning journey. But despite their indubitably kind advances, even they recoiled when I drew near.

A few weeks later, I started to change my attitude vis-à-vis my newfound situation and determined to put my energy toward productive ends (i.e., homework). I wasn’t enamored with school. I never had been. Nevertheless, I didn’t abhor it either. I just preferred football.

My true turn of fate came when I started studying more and participating in class. I started to enjoy history class, and I grew interested in reading more. I discovered a volume of poems written by a fellow adventurer on the road of life, and I loved it. I ravenously devoured everything in the writer’s oeuvre .

As the weeks flitted past, I found myself spending my time with a group of people who were quite different from me. They participated in theater and played instruments in marching band. They raised their hands in class when the teacher posed a question. Because of their auspicious influence, I started raising my hand too. I am no longer vapid, and I now have something to say.

I am certain that your school would benefit from my miraculous academic transformation, and I entreat you to consider my application to your fine institution. Accepting me to your university would be an unequivocally righteous decision.

Word count: 408

• I’ve chosen a college essay topic that’s meaningful to me.
• I’ve respected the essay word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

As I step out of bed, the pain shoots through my foot and up my leg like it has every morning since “the game.” That night, a defensive linebacker tackled me, his 212 pounds landing decidedly on my ankle. I heard the sound before I felt it. The next morning, I awoke to a new reality—one without football—announced by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

My broken ankle broke my spirit.

My friends steered clear of me as I hobbled down the halls at school. My teachers tried to find the delicate balance between giving me space and offering me help. I was as unsure how to deal with myself as they were.

In time, I figured out how to redirect some of my frustration, anger, and pent-up energy toward my studies. I had never not liked school, but I had never really liked it either. In my mind, football practice was my real-life classroom, where I could learn all I ever needed to know.

Then there was that day in Mrs. Brady’s history class. We sang a ridiculous-sounding mnemonic song to memorize all the Chinese dynasties from Shang to Qing. I mumbled the words at first, but I got caught up in the middle of the laughter and began singing along. Starting that day, I began browsing YouTube videos about history, curious to learn more. I had started learning something new, and, to my surprise, I liked it.

With my afternoons free from burpees and scrimmages, I dared to crack open a few more of my books to see what was in them. That’s when my English poetry book, Paint Me Like I Am , caught my attention. It was full of poems written by students my age from WritersCorps. I couldn’t get enough.

I wasn’t the only one who was taken with the poems. Previously, I’d only been vaguely aware of Christina as one of the weird kids I avoided. Crammed in the margins of her high-top Chuck Taylors were scribbled lines of her own poetry and infinite doodles. Beyond her punk rock persona was a sensitive artist, puppy-lover, and environmental activist that a wide receiver like me would have never noticed before.

With Christina, I started making friends with people who once would have been invisible to me: drama geeks, teachers’ pets, band nerds. Most were college bound but not to play a sport. They were smart and talented, and they cared about people and politics and all sorts of issues that I hadn’t considered before. Strangely, they also seemed to care about me.

I still limp down the halls at school, but I don’t seem to mind as much these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, excited by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

My broken ankle broke my spirit. Then, it broke my ignorance.

Word count: 512

This essay uses a narrative structure to show how a pet positively influenced the student’s values and character.

In the weak draft, the student doesn’t focus on himself, instead delving into too much detail about his dog’s positive traits and his grandma’s illness. The essay’s structure is meandering, with tangents and details that don’t communicate any specific insight.

In the improved version, the student keeps the focus on himself, not his pet. He chooses the most relevant stories to demonstrate specific qualities, and the structure more clearly builds up to an insightful conclusion.

Man’s Best Friend

I desperately wanted a cat. I begged my parents for one, but once again, my sisters overruled me, so we drove up the Thompson Valley Canyon from Loveland to Estes Park to meet our newest family member. My sisters had already hatched their master plan, complete with a Finding Nemo blanket to entice the pups. The blanket was a hit with all of them, except for one—the one who walked over and sat in my lap. That was the day that Francisco became a Villanova.

Maybe I should say he was mine because I got stuck with all the chores. As expected, my dog-loving sisters were nowhere to be found! My mom was “extra” with all the doggy gear. Cisco even had to wear these silly little puppy shoes outside so that when he came back in, he wouldn’t get the carpets dirty. If it was raining, my mother insisted I dress Cisco in a ridiculous yellow raincoat, but, in my opinion, it was an unnecessary source of humiliation for poor Cisco. It didn’t take long for Cisco to decide that his outerwear could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I took off one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his ensemble more when we had to walk through snowdrifts to get his job done.

When my abuela was dying from cancer, we went in the middle of the night to see her before she passed. I was sad and scared. But, my dad let me take Cisco in the car, so Cisco cuddled with me and made me feel much better. It’s like he could read my mind. Once we arrived at the hospital, the fluorescent lighting made the entire scene seem unreal, as if I was watching the scene unfold through someone else’s eyes. My grandma lay calmly on her bed, smiling at us even through her last moments of pain. I disliked seeing the tubes and machines hooked up to her. It was unnatural to see her like this一it was so unlike the way I usually saw her beautiful in her flowery dress, whistling a Billie Holiday tune and baking snickerdoodle cookies in the kitchen. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained at the foot of the bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that seemed more effective at communicating comfort and compassion than the rest of us who attempted to offer up words of comfort that just seemed hollow and insincere. It was then that I truly appreciated Cisco’s empathy for others.

As I accompanied my dad to pick up our dry cleaner’s from Ms. Chapman, a family friend asked, “How’s Cisco?” before even asking about my sisters or me. Cisco is the Villanova family mascot, a Goldendoodle better recognized by strangers throughout Loveland than the individual members of my family.

On our summer trip to Boyd Lake State Park, we stayed at the Cottonwood campground for a breathtaking view of the lake. Cisco was allowed to come, but we had to keep him on a leash at all times. After a satisfying meal of fish, our entire family walked along the beach. Cisco and I led the way while my mom and sisters shuffled behind. Cisco always stopped and refused to move, looking back to make sure the others were still following. Once satisfied that everyone was together, he would turn back around and continue prancing with his golden boy curly locks waving in the chilly wind.

On the beach, Cisco “accidentally” got let off his leash and went running maniacally around the sand, unfettered and free. His pure joy as he raced through the sand made me forget about my AP Chem exam or my student council responsibilities. He brings a smile not only to my family members but everyone around him.

Cisco won’t live forever, but without words, he has impressed upon me life lessons of responsibility, compassion, loyalty, and joy. I can’t imagine life without him.

Word count: 701

I quickly figured out that as “the chosen one,” I had been enlisted by Cisco to oversee all aspects of his “business.” I learned to put on Cisco’s doggie shoes to keep the carpet clean before taking him out一no matter the weather. Soon after, Cisco decided that his shoes could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I removed one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his footwear more after I’d gear him up and we’d tread through the snow for his daily walks.

One morning, it was 7:15 a.m., and Alejandro was late again to pick me up. “Cisco, you don’t think he overslept again, do you?” Cisco barked, as if saying, “Of course he did!” A text message would never do, so I called his dad, even if it was going to get him in trouble. There was no use in both of us getting another tardy during our first-period class, especially since I was ready on time after taking Cisco for his morning outing. Alejandro was mad at me but not too much. He knew I had helped him out, even if he had to endure his dad’s lecture on punctuality.

Another early morning, I heard my sister yell, “Mom! Where are my good ballet flats? I can’t find them anywhere!” I hesitated and then confessed, “I moved them.” She shrieked at me in disbelief, but I continued, “I put them in your closet, so Cisco wouldn’t chew them up.” More disbelief. However, this time, there was silence instead of shrieking.

Last spring, Cisco and I were fast asleep when the phone rang at midnight. Abuela would not make it through the night after a long year of chemo, but she was in Pueblo, almost three hours away. Sitting next to me for that long car ride on I-25 in pitch-black darkness, Cisco knew exactly what I needed and snuggled right next to me as I petted his coat in a rhythm while tears streamed down my face. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained sitting at the foot of the hospital bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that communicated more comfort than our hollow words. Since then, whenever I sense someone is upset, I sit in silence with them or listen to their words, just like Cisco did.

The other day, one of my friends told me, “You’re a strange one, Josue. You’re not like everybody else but in a good way.” I didn’t know what he meant at first. “You know, you’re super responsible and grown-up. You look out for us instead of yourself. Nobody else does that.” I was a bit surprised because I wasn’t trying to do anything different. I was just being me. But then I realized who had taught me: a fluffy little puppy who I had wished was a cat! I didn’t choose Cisco, but he certainly chose me and, unexpectedly, became my teacher, mentor, and friend.

Word count: 617

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

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College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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4 Ways Parents Can Help With College Essays

How to support your teen without cramping their style.

Everyone is stressed about college essays: parents and teenagers alike. It can seem like an impossible task — high schoolers have to be poignant but not saccharine, clever but not flippant, polished but not too tidy. And they have to try to stand out from thousands of other high schoolers all trying to do the same thing.

Add to that the fact that college essays require a different form of writing than what’s commonly covered in high school, and it becomes an understandably daunting feat for any teenager. But how can you offer support without crossing an ethical boundary, hampering your child’s authentic voice, or intruding on your child’s space?

It’s a fine line to walk, but there are ways that you can assist your teenager through this thorny writing process while also honoring personal and ethical boundaries. Keep reading for tips!

1. Offer structure with regard to time management and planning

When it comes to writing expressively about their core qualities, high schoolers need lots of time (often weeks, not days) to brainstorm and reflect on who they are and what they value. Then, they need lots more time after that to word-vomit, clarify, revise, re-structure, and polish. Most students take at least a couple of months to produce a clean and finalized version of a personal statement, and that isn’t even counting the time they’ll need to write supplemental essays.

Without pushing too hard or cranking up your child’s stress level, you can take this as an opportunity to help your child define a reasonable timeline and set some incremental deadlines for their essay work. Here are a few questions you might discuss with your teenager, to help them cultivate an awareness of time:

• How long does it typically take you to write essays for school?
• When would you ideally love to have a final draft of your personal statement? (Hint: supplemental essay prompts get rolled out in August, so your teenager should ideally be switching their focus to supplemental essays by then)
• What are your weekly and monthly goals ?
• Do you have a special time and place set aside to work on your personal statement each week?

2. Chat with your teenager about their most vivid memories from childhood and adolescence

This one is more delicate. We don’t recommend that you pitch your teenager specific stories that you think would be most impressive in a college essay: it’s critically important that the storytelling impulse come from them organically. That being said, you can help your teenager get in touch with moments and memories that were meaningful to them by reminiscing together – take a walk by the old house you used to live in, ask for their help making the meal they loved as a toddler, show them pictures from family trips. If they seem excited about any particular memory, you can encourage them to reflect on how those moments might have shaped their personality or values by asking a few open-ended questions:

• What do you remember most about that time/place?
• Do you feel like you’re the same person you were then?
• What did you love about that time/place?

PS. To help your child feel less “interrogated,” let them ask you questions about your memories, too!

3. Take their temperature before offering feedback

Before you dive directly into giving your teenager feedback on their essay, take a beat to check in with them: how are they feeling about their essay? How are they feeling about their progress?

First of all, asking questions like this invites your child to reflect on the choices they’ve made and why they have made them; it encourages them to understand that they are a critical part of the assessment process.

Second of all, no matter your particular family dynamic, you’re the parent and your opinion matters deeply to your child. If a student feels profoundly proud of their essay, an unwitting negative opinion from a parent can be derailing and destabilizing. So make sure to understand where your teen is in their writing journey before bringing down the hammer.

4. Let grammar slide

It may seem counterintuitive, but if your teenager gives you a draft of their essay to look at, try to steer clear of granular, nitty-gritty critiques. To write well, your child needs to maintain a buoyant spirit of exploration and discovery – so your job is to help them strengthen what they’re doing well, focus on the big picture, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Wait to offer feedback on grammar, punctuation, or word count until the very end of the process, once their ideas are in place. Until then, help them deepen their insights and specify their vision, and make it clear that you’re their cheerleader through this whole process.

Under the right circumstances, helping your high schooler with their college essays can be a lovely bonding experience. But as we all know, sometimes teens keep their parents at arm’s length while they’re establishing their independence. In that case, know that you can always call in an outside voice to guide your child, leaving you free to focus on being their parent instead of their editor. Our college admissions experts are available to partner with you at any stage of the process.

Caroline Hertz

College Essay FAQs: Parent Edition

Posted by: Sierra Leickert on June 14, 2023

Essays are becoming an increasingly important part of the college application process. Essays are an opportunity to demonstrate personal skills that can differentiate students from their peers with top grades and test scores. Knowing the importance of application essay can result in students and families feeling uneasy, so here are a few FAQs and answers to help alleviate some of that stress: 

Q: When should my student start writing their college essays? 

A: Students should start writing college essays during the summer before senior year. Beginning during the summer allows students to engage in thoughtful reflection that is quintessential to the college application essay process. 

Students should start with their main application essay. We usually encourage students to finish this essay during the summer months to have enough time to work on their school work and supplemental essays during the school year. 

Q: How involved should I, as a parent, be in the writing process with my student? 

A: This depends on the student, but parents often make great final readers on their students’ application essays. However, parents add stress when part of the iterative writing process. Still, they know their student and their student’s voice very well, which can make them the perfect choice to take a last look at the essay before submission. 

Q: My student needs help to identify an essay topic. What makes for a good essay topic?  

A: Students have a lot of freedom in choosing topics for their essays, particularly the primary application essay, which can be overwhelming. Suppose your student needs help identifying what they want to write their essay about. In that case, it can be helpful to discuss what experiences they value, their extracurricular involvement, impactful/meaningful experiences, etc. Having these broad conversations with your students may spark a topic idea for them!  

Q: How many essays should my student expect to write?

A: A lot. Remember when I said to start over the summer? The number of essays a student will have to write varies because it depends on which schools the student applies to and the total number of schools to which they submit applications. Many schools now require supplemental essays. These supplemental essays are often shorter than the main application essay, but, on average, a student should expect to write 20-25 application essays.

Q: Can my student write several essays on the same topic?

A: Yes and no. It can be helpful to think of each essay as an opportunity for an admissions officer to learn more about your student. For this reason, we often encourage students to write essays that they will submit to the same institution about different activities or experiences. 

However, if a student is heavily involved in a minimal number of activities, writing more than one essay for the same institution on the same topic is possible. The caveat is that providing a fresh perspective on that activity is vital so that the admissions officer is still learning more about what the student has to offer. 

To help parents and students, we have a recorded webinar and a series of summer essay workshops. 

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How to Write a Standout College Essay about Immigrant Parents

Kate Sliunkova

AdmitYogi, Stanford MBA & MA in Education

If you're a high school student, chances are you've been asked to write an essay before. Writing about your immigrant parents can be a daunting task, but it can also be a beautiful opportunity to share your unique perspective. With the right strategies and mindset, you can craft an essay that not only showcases your writing skills but also honors the sacrifices and experiences of your immigrant parents.

Acknowledge the Significance of Your Parents' Journey

Before delving into writing your essay, it's crucial to acknowledge and appreciate the significance of your parents' immigration journey. Recognize the sacrifices they made, leaving behind their home country, family, and familiar surroundings, to provide a better life for you and your family. This appreciation will help you approach your essay with a deeper understanding and empathy. To explore successful college essays that highlight the importance of family sacrifices, visit AdmitYogi for inspiring examples.

Use Their Story as a Springboard for Self-Reflection

Your parents' immigration story serves as a powerful springboard for self-reflection. Reflect on the impact their journey has had on you - your identity, values, and aspirations. Consider how growing up in a multicultural household has shaped your worldview and influenced the choices you've made. This self-reflection allows you to connect your personal growth to your parents' experiences, providing a rich and compelling narrative. AdmitYogi can provide additional guidance on how to effectively incorporate self-reflection into your essay.

Choose a Meaningful Essay Topic

Selecting the right essay topic is crucial to capturing the attention of college admissions officers. Instead of focusing solely on your parents' story, choose a topic that reflects your own experiences and values, while weaving in elements of their journey. For example, you can explore moments where you grappled with language barriers and how those challenges fostered your determination to excel academically and embrace diverse perspectives.

Consider discussing the cultural differences you navigated while transitioning to the United States. Highlight the lessons you've learned about cultural diversity and your ability to adapt and thrive in new environments. This demonstrates your resilience and adaptability, qualities that colleges value in their applicants.

Infuse Your Essay with Personal Anecdotes

To make your essay engaging and memorable, infuse it with personal anecdotes that illustrate key moments or lessons from your own journey. Share specific stories that demonstrate your growth, resilience, and unique perspective. For instance, you can write about a time when you bridged a cultural gap between your parents' native traditions and American customs, showcasing your ability to navigate cultural complexities with sensitivity and openness.

By incorporating personal anecdotes, you showcase your individual experiences and emphasize how you have been shaped by your parents' immigration story, while maintaining the focus on you.

Reflect on the Intersection of Your Identity and Values

Colleges are interested in understanding who you are as an individual and the values you hold dear. Reflect on how your parents' immigration journey has influenced your own identity and values. Discuss the lessons you've learned about perseverance, determination, and the importance of education.

Highlight the ways in which your parents' sacrifices have motivated you to seize educational opportunities and strive for excellence. Emphasize how their story has instilled in you a deep appreciation for the value of education and the pursuit of knowledge.

Showcase Your Personal Growth and Aspirations

A compelling college essay should demonstrate personal growth and aspirations. Reflect on how your parents' experiences have influenced your own aspirations and goals for the future. Discuss the career paths, community involvement, or social initiatives that you are passionate about, and how they align with your values and the experiences you've had growing up as a child of immigrants.

Craft a Narrative That Captivates Admissions Officers

To make your essay truly standout, craft a narrative that captivates admissions officers. Start with a powerful and attention-grabbing opening. This could be a personal anecdote, a thought-provoking question, or a vivid description that draws the reader in from the very beginning.

Throughout your essay, use descriptive language and storytelling techniques to paint a vivid picture of your experiences and the impact of your parents' journey on your life. Engage the reader's senses and emotions, allowing them to connect with your story on a deeper level.

Writing a college application essay about your immigrant parents is an opportunity to celebrate your unique perspective and honor their experiences. By focusing on you and infusing your personal growth, values, and aspirations into the essay, you create a compelling narrative that highlights your individuality.

Remember to reflect on the intersection of your identity and values, choose a meaningful topic, and craft a narrative that captivates admissions officers. AdmitYogi , a trusted resource for successful college essays, offers a wealth of examples and guidance to help you throughout your writing journey. With these strategies and the support of AdmitYogi, you can write a standout essay that makes colleges eager to admit you and the incredible journey you represent.

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Guest Essay

Anxious Parents Are the Ones Who Need Help

By Mathilde Ross

Dr. Ross is a senior staff psychiatrist at Boston University Health Services.

This month, across the country, a new cohort of students is being accepted into colleges. And if recent trends continue, the start of the school year will kick off another record-breaking season for anxiety on campus.

I’m talking about the parents. The kids are mostly fine.

Let me explain. Most emotions, even unpleasant ones, are normal. But the word is out about increasing rates of mental health problems on campus, and that’s got parents worrying. Fair enough. The statistics are startling — in 2022, nearly 14 percent of 18-to-25-year-olds reported having serious thoughts about suicide.

But parents are allowing their anxiety to take over, and it’s not helping anyone, least of all their children. If a child calls home too much, there must be a crisis! And if a child calls too little, there must be a crisis! Either way, the panicked parent picks up the phone and calls the college counseling center to talk to someone like me.

I am a psychiatrist who has worked at a major university’s mental health clinic for 16 years. Much of next year’s freshman class was born the year before I started working here. Technically, my job is to keep my door open and help students through crises, big and small. But I have also developed a comprehensive approach to the assessment and treatment of anxious parents.

The typical call from a parent begins like this: “I think my son/daughter is suffering from anxiety.” My typical reply is: “Anxiety in this setting is usually normal, because major life transitions like living away from home for the first time are commonly associated with elevated anxiety.” Parents used to be satisfied with this kind of answer, thanked me, hung up, called their children and encouraged them to think long-term: “This too shall pass.” And most everyone carried on.

But these days this kind of thinking just convinces parents that I don’t know what I’m talking about. In the circular logic of mental health awareness, a clinician’s reassurance that situational anxiety is most likely normal and time-limited leads a parent to believe that the clinician may be missing a serious mental health condition.

Today’s parents are suffering from anxiety about anxiety, which is actually much more serious than anxiety. It’s self-fulfilling and not easily soothed by logic or evidence, such as the knowledge that most everyone adjusts to college just fine.

Anxiety about anxiety has gotten so bad that some parents actually worry if their student isn’t anxious. This puts a lot of pressure on unanxious students — it creates anxiety about anxiety about anxiety. (This happens all the time. Well-meaning parents tell their kid to make an appointment with our office to make sure their adjustment to college is going OK.) If the student says she’s fine, the parents worry that she isn’t being forthright. This is the conundrum of anxiety about anxiety — there’s really no easy way to combat it.

But I do have some advice for parents. The first thing I’d like to say, and I mean it in the kindest possible way, is: Get a grip.

As for your kids, I would like to help you with some age-appropriate remedies. If your child calls during the first weeks of college feeling anxious, consider saying any of the following: You’ll get through this; this is normal; we’ll laugh about this phone call at Thanksgiving. Or, say anything that was helpful to you the last time you started something new. Alternatively, you could say nothing. Just listening really helps. It’s the entire basis of my profession.

If the anxiety is connected to academic performance — for instance, if your child is having difficulty following the professor and thinks everyone in class is smarter — consider saying, “Do the reading.” Several times a semester, a student I’ve counseled tells me he or she discovered the secret to college: Show up for class prepared! This is often whispered rather sheepishly, even though my office is private.

Anxiety about oral presentations is also quite common. You know what I tell students? “Rehearse your speech.” Parents, you can say things like this, too. Practice it: “Son, you wouldn’t believe how helpful practice is.”

I can prepare you for advanced topics, too. Let’s say your child is exhausted and having trouble waking up for class; he thinks he has a medical problem or maybe a sleep disorder. Consider telling him to go to bed earlier. Common sense is still allowed.

What if a roommate is too loud or too quiet, too messy or too neat? Advise your kid to talk to the roommate, to take the conversation to the problem’s source.

If your child is worrying about something more serious, like failing out of college: This is quite common in the first few weeks on campus. Truth be told, failing all of one’s classes and being expelled as a result, all within the first semester, is essentially impossible and is particularly rare among those students who are worrying about it. The administrative process simply doesn’t happen that fast. Besides, you haven’t paid enough tuition yet.

I’m making my job sound easy, and it’s not. I’m making kids sound simple, and they’re not. They are my life’s work. Some kids walk through my door in serious pain. But most don’t. Most just need a responsible adult to show them the way. And most of what I do can be handled by any adult who has been through a thing or two, which is to say, any parent.

I worry that the current obsession with mental health awareness is disempowering parents from helping their adult children handle ordinary things. People are increasingly fearful that any normal emotion is a sign of something serious. But if you send your adult children to a mental health professional at the first sign of distress, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them. This is the beginning of their adult relationship with you. Show them the way.

The transition to college is full of excitement and its cousin, anxiety. I enjoy shepherding young people through this rite of passage. Parents should try enjoying it, too.

Mathilde Ross is a senior staff psychiatrist at Boston University Health Services.

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Should parents pay for college in 2024?

T he question of whether parents should pay for their children’s college education is a complex and multifaceted issue. It involves not only financial issues (namely, can you afford to?) but also ethical and personal considerations. While many parents aspire to pay 100% of their children’s college expenses to allow them to graduate debt-free, others feel that it’s important for kids to have some skin in the game.

If you’re weighing this issue, you’ll want to consider both the reasons for and against paying for your kid’s college education. Here’s a closer look at both sides of the argument.

Why Parents Pay for College

Some parents feel it’s their duty to cover the cost of their child’s college education. Here’s a look at some arguments in support of that viewpoint.

Giving Your Child a Head Start

The average student borrows over $30,000 to pursue a bachelor’s degree, according to the Education Data Initiative. That’s no small sum. Students who graduate debt-free generally have a leg-up on achieving their professional and financial goals. They can consider taking a job based on their career aspirations, rather than the one that pays the most. They also have the freedom to put all of their financial resources into other goals, such as building an emergency fund or buying a home.

Helping Your Child Stay in School

When you send your child off to college, you likely expect them to emerge with a bachelor’s degree. But recent research shows that only 62% of college students graduate within six years. Among those who leave school, a significant number cite financial reasons for their decision. Taking the  college bill  off your child’s plate may help them stick to the program.

Allowing Your Child to Focus

Getting a job can help your child cover some of their tuition costs, but if they have to work too many hours, it can make it difficult for them to focus on their studies.  Paying for their education  can give them a better chance of getting good grades and possibly qualifying for academic scholarships. They may even be able to take on a bigger course load every semester and graduate early.

Why Parents Don’t Pay for College

While many parents believe they should pay for college, others feel that students should be responsible for investing in their own education. Here’s a look at some reasons why parents shouldn’t pay for college.

It Could Threaten Your Retirement

If you can afford to save for a healthy retirement and pay for college, you’re in good shape. But if you feel like you have to choose between the two, paying for college and not saving for retirement could force you to work longer or leave the workforce with less money than you might need.

There are many different  types of student loans  available for college, but there’s no such thing as retirement loans to help you get by.

It Builds Responsibility and Accountability

Having your child contribute to their education through  part-time jobs  and loans can help foster a sense of responsibility and ownership. They may value their education all the more — and work as hard as they can — knowing how much this opportunity costs.

It’s a Good Teaching Moment

Helping your child figure out their college financing and teaching them good financial habits now can help them continue those habits after they graduate. If you cover everything for them, they may have a difficult time transitioning to life after college and may end up coming back to you for help.

( Learn more:  Personal Loan Calculator ) 

How Parents Paying for College Can Get Financing

If you’re interested in footing some or all of the bill for your child’s college education, you have a few different funding options. Here’s a closer look.

One way to help students pay for college is to put some money aside each month in a  529 plan . Even if your child is already in high school, you can still open a 529 plan and take advantage of the federal (and sometimes state) tax benefits. Money in a 529 account grows tax-deferred and withdrawals are tax-free when used for eligible educational expenses. Any amount saved for college will reduce your child’s future student loan debt.

Parent PLUS Loans

The U.S. Department of Education offers  PLUS Loans for parents  that you can qualify for as long as you don’t have an adverse credit history. Parent PLUS Loans give you access to certain benefits, including the option to defer repayment while your child is enrolled at least half-time and for an additional six months after your child graduates. However, these loans also charge relatively high interest rates and upfront loan fees.

Private Student Loans

If you have excellent credit and a strong, steady income (and your child doesn’t get enough federal aid), you may want to explore getting a  student loan for parents  with a private lender. Typically, you can get prequalified with a soft credit check with many lenders online to see what rate you qualify for and compare it to other lenders and Parent PLUS Loan options.

Financing Options for Your Child

If you’ve decided that you can’t or don’t want to fully pay for your child’s college education, here are some ways that your child can get the funding they need.

Grants and Scholarships

By completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA ®), your child will automatically be considered for many federal, state, and institutional grants and scholarships. Scholarships are also available through private organizations and companies. To apply for these, your student will likely need to fill out a separate application for each one. To find more “free money” for school, your student may want to use an online  scholarship search tool .

Part-Time Job

One good way to pay for school, especially if your child has a full or partial scholarship lined up, is to work part-time while in school. This can help pay for living expenses, books, or possibly even tuition. Working full-time during the summers can help to pay for the next year’s worth of expenses.

Student Loans

College students have a choice between  federal and private student loans . In general, federal loans are better-suited for undergraduate students because they don’t require a credit check, have relatively low-interest rates, and offer access to income-driven repayment plans and loan forgiveness programs. Your child can apply for federal student loans by completing the FAFSA.

If federal student loans aren’t enough to cover your child’s full cost of attendance, however, private student loans may be another option. Just keep in mind that you may need to co-sign the loan application to help them get approved.

Carefully Consider All Your Options

There’s no right or wrong answer to the question of whether parents should pay for their child’s college education. It’s important to carefully consider both the benefits and drawbacks, as well as how much you can realistically afford to put towards your child’s college expenses.

The good news is that a school’s “sticker price” (published cost of attendance) often isn’t what you actually pay, since it doesn’t account for financial aid or scholarships that your child may receive. The actual amount students and/or parents need to pay is typically much lower than the published price. Students and parents can also tap federal and private student loans.

If you’ve exhausted all federal student aid options, no-fee private student loans from SoFi can help you pay for school. The online application process is easy, and you can see rates and terms in just minutes. Repayment plans are flexible, so you can find an option that works for your financial plan and budget.

This article originally appeared on SoFi.com   and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org .

SoFi Loan Products

SoFi loans are originated by SoFi Bank, N.A.,  NMLS #696891  Opens A New Window. (Member FDIC). For additional product-specific legal and licensing information, see  SoFi  Equal Housing Lender.

SoFi Private Student Loans

Please borrow responsibly. SoFi Private Student Loans are not a substitute for federal loans, grants, and work-study programs. You should exhaust all your federal student aid options before you consider any private loans, including ours. Read our  FAQs . SoFi Private Student Loans are subject to program terms and restrictions, and applicants must meet SoFi’s eligibility and underwriting requirements. See  SoFi  for more information. To view payment examples, click  here . SoFi reserves the right to modify eligibility criteria at any time. This information is subject to change.

Financial Tips & Strategies: The tips provided on this website are of a general nature and do not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation, and needs. You should always consider their appropriateness given your own circumstances.

External Websites: The information and analysis provided through hyperlinks to third-party websites, while believed to be accurate, cannot be guaranteed by SoFi. Links are provided for informational purposes and should not be viewed as an endorsement.

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5 budget-friendly ways to increase your home's value in 2024.

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How to Find Scholarships

How to get scholarships.

Scholarships are a type of financial aid awarded to students based on academic achievements, athletic skills, community involvement, financial need, or other considerations. Earning scholarships can help make college more accessible and affordable. Dive into our guide for an overview of how to find and apply for scholarships to ease the financial burden of college. 

Understanding Scholarships

Several types of scholarships are available, such as merit-based aid, skill-based, and need-based aid. Every scholarship comes with unique requirements to both receive and keep the funds. Be sure to carefully read the scholarship eligibility requirements, application process, and other details before applying.

Do you have to pay back scholarships? 

College scholarships are a type of financial assistance that you won't need to repay. It’s essentially free money given to help cover your educational expenses like tuition, housing, class supplies, and more. This makes them an excellent option for students looking to reduce the cost of college without worrying about student loan debt. 

How do scholarships differ from grants?

While both grants and scholarships offer financial aid for college, they differ in several important ways. Scholarships are usually merit-based, meaning they're awarded based on achievements like academic excellence, athletic skills, or involvement in community service or clubs. They're often provided by private organizations, colleges, or individuals.

On the other hand, grants are typically need-based and awarded to students who demonstrate a financial need. They are often provided by either state or federal government sources. A well-known example of a government-backed grant is the Pell Grant, which is federal aid given to undergraduate students with significant financial need.

You can visit the official Pell Grants page for more detailed information. This resource details qualifications, application processes, and how Federal Student Aid can help fund your college education. 

Why You Should Apply for Scholarships

Scholarships are an important tool for making your college education more affordable. Despite what many think, there's actually a lot of unclaimed scholarship money out there every year. According to the National Scholarship Providers Association (NSPA), about $100 million worth of scholarships are not awarded annually, mainly because students do not apply for them.

With so many available scholarships going unclaimed, it's important to explore your options thoroughly. Doing well on standardized tests like the ACT is one way to enhance your chances of tapping into this unclaimed scholarship pool. Actively seeking out and applying for scholarships can increase your likelihood of receiving financial support, which not only eases the financial strain of college but also supports your academic and personal growth, smoothing the path to a brighter and more secure future.

Typical application requirements for scholarships

When applying for scholarships, students must meet a variety of requirements to be considered for aid. Common requirements include:

• Academic performance: Keeping up a certain GPA or academic level.
• Extracurricular activities: Being active in clubs, sports, or community service projects.
• Standardized test scores: Some scholarships ask for scores from tests like the ACT to measure your academic readiness.
• Essays: Crafting an essay that reflects your personal achievements or aspirations.
• Letters of recommendation: Securing support from teachers or mentors who can speak to your character and achievements.
• Financial need evidence: Showing that you require financial support to pursue your education. Often this requires you to submit your FAFSA.
• Unique qualifications: Adhering to specific conditions outlined by the scholarship, like studying in a certain field or identifying with a particular demographic. 

Will all scholarships require an essay?

How to find scholarships.

While earning a scholarship isn't guaranteed, there are several steps you can take to increase your chances of securing these valuable funds. Focus on the factors within your control such as timing, research, preparation, organization, and commitment. Taking your scholarship search seriously can help you tremendously in the long run.

Start the process early

It's important to start your scholarship application process as early as possible. Studentaid.gov suggests getting a head start on your research and applications during the summer between junior and senior years of high school. Starting the process early gives you ample time to find opportunities, meet deadlines, and prepare stronger applications.

Utilize scholarship searches

Various lists and resources are available that specialize in helping you find scholarships that fit your needs. One notable option is the  ACT free scholarship list , which includes more than 80 scholarships that require an ACT score. The Department of Labor also provides information for over 9,500 scholarships on their sponsored  scholarship finder . These searches can help you discover a wide range of opportunities that align with your specific academic and extracurricular achievements.

Check local scholarships

Students should also focus on local scholarships, which often have fewer applicants and higher chances of winning compared to larger, national scholarships. Check with local businesses, community and religious organizations, clubs, and your school counselor if they offer any scholarship opportunities. Often the scholarship details and application can be found on their website. You might also consider searching for scholarships through word of mouth, community Facebook pages, or local newspapers

Apply for several scholarships

Increase your chances of receiving financial aid by applying for multiple scholarships. Each application improves your likelihood of success, broadening your range of opportunities. You can enhance your chances for securing a scholarship by applying for a range of scholarship types from many different sources. 

Look out for fake scholarships

Students and parents need to be vigilant to identify fake scholarships. Warning signs include requests for personal financial information or payments, such as application fees or processing charges, no past recipients mentioned, or saying you won a scholarship you don’t recall applying for. Legitimate scholarships will never ask for money or sensitive personal financial details as part of the application process. 

How to apply for scholarships

The process of applying for scholarships will largely depend on the type of scholarship you're pursuing, but several standard steps are involved in most applications. Understanding and following these common steps can help you collect and prepare the documents you’ll need when applying. Here are some ways in which the process may differ:

• Eligibility criteria: Some scholarships are open to all students, while others may target specific groups, such as students pursuing certain majors, belonging to certain demographic groups, or having specific talents or interests. 
• Application requirements: While some scholarships may require essays, others might request video submissions, artistic portfolios, or project proposals, depending on the criteria. 
• Submission method: Methods range from online forms to mail-in or even in-person presentations. Be sure to adapt your approach based on each scholarship’s guidelines. 
• Selection process: Each scholarship committee will assess candidates based on what was submitted. Recipients are typically students who had a well-rounded application, met all the criteria outlines, and demonstrated their readiness for college. 
• ​​ Financial need assessment: Some scholarships are merit-based and don't consider financial need, while others may require financial information and a Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) to determine need-based eligibility. 
• Recommendation letters: Some scholarships might ask for multiple letters of recommendation from a teacher, mentor, or community leader.  
• Deadlines: Deadlines can vary significantly. Some scholarships offer multiple application rounds, while others may be once-a-year chances. 

​​It's important to keep track of deadlines for each scholarship and submit your applications promptly, as late submissions can disqualify you even if you’re an outstanding candidate. Try using an online calendar or planner specifically for scholarship deadlines to stay organized and ensure you never miss a submission date. You can also keep a digital folder with all your scholarship materials —essays, recommendation letters, transcripts, and any other required documents. This makes it easier to tailor each application without starting from scratch. 

Explore more resources to help pay for college

To learn more about paying for college and managing your expenses, check out some  additional resources  that offer helpful tips and advice. Starting to look for scholarships that match your interests early in high school gives you plenty of time to set your goals and plan how to achieve them. 

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Tax tips for college students and their parents

FILE - Students cross the campus of Dartmouth College, March 5, 2024, in Hanover, N.H. While tax pros say it’s great for college students to start filing their own forms, parents and students should double-check everything carefully before anyone pushes the “submit” button. (AP Photo/Robert F. Bukaty, File)

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NEW YORK (AP) — There are lots of things college students and their parents should keep in mind before filing their taxes, and while tax pros say it’s great for college students to start filing their own forms, parents and students should double check everything carefully before anyone pushes the “submit” button.

Be clear on who is a dependent

For dependent students filing taxes for the first time, it’s easy to overlook checking the “dependent” box, and they cannot then be claimed on their parents’ tax forms without the long and arduous task of amending the return merely for failure to check a box.

“College students need to be very careful that they understand whether or not their parents are eligible to claim them as a dependent,” says Tom O’Saben, director of tax content and government relations at the American Association of Tax Professionals. Merely not claiming a dependent does not make that taxpayer independent, he says.

Claim all eligible college and other education tax credits

There are two kinds of education tax credits. The American opportunity credit is for up to $2,500 a year (based on at least $4,000 spent on tuition, books and fees) for the first four years toward an undergraduate degree.

The second, a lifetime learning credit, can be used toward an undergraduate, graduate or professional degree and is for up to $2,000 (based on 20% of qualified education expenses.) A parent cannot claim both for the same dependent child (or a student can claim it) on a return for the same year, but if there are multiple dependents on the return they could be using either of the credits (but not both at the same time) for each student.

Double check that all forms are in hand

While most tax-related forms arrive dependably in the mail, college students tend to work multiple jobs each year, and some college tax forms may need to be printed out from the college portal and are not mailed at all. So before filing, make sure your dependent student has confirmed that all tax forms are in for all jobs worked, and they’ve checked with the college for any additional tax forms.

Be clear about state residency

If a student is paying at least half of their own costs and is planning on claiming in-state tuition at their college in a state other than the one in which their parents live, they might want to check with the college financial aid office about residency requirements, O’Saben says.

In some cases, claiming your child as a dependent might not be the best move once the entire financial picture is taken into account.

“Just providing an address in the state your child’s college is in may not be enough to claim in-state tuition,” O’Saben says.

Make sure your college student files, if needed

Sometimes college students are still required to file their own return even if their parents claim them. Students and parents should check the rules for dependent filing and determine if the student is required to file their own return based on their gross income, says Kathy Pickering, chief tax officer at H&R Block.

Make the most of your 529 account

Qualifying distributions from a 529 account are tax-free and are not included in the child’s income, Pickering said. And while only eligible tuition, fees and books are included in the tax credit calculations, for 529 accounts, room and board are also included as eligible for withdrawals.

Find more of AP’s tax season coverage here: https://apnews.com/hub/personal-finance