funny groom speech examples uk

Your Guide to Funny (& Tasteful) Groom Speech Jokes

When it’s time to pick up the mic as a groom to give a toast, you don’t have to have the entire room in tears to make an everlasting memory. Instead of gushing praise or boring the crowd, it’s okay to throw in a joke or two.

Yes, it is the best man’s speech that traditionally follows that will be filled with jokes, humor, and some good old-fashioned banter. But the groom’s speech structure should also contain some jokes too.

Get the balance right, and you’ll have a stormer of a speech with a perfect blend of reflection and humor. And more importantly, don’t make them too crude or abusive towards the new mother-in-law. Rule that out straight away. You don’t want to get off to the worst possible start to married life, do you?

So, with all that in mind, what sort of jokes are suitable for a groom to include? Certainly, nothing that insults family, friends, or assembled guests. But a nice bit of mickey-taking, a few funny anecdotes , and some personal gentle ribbing do work well and ensure the groom’s speech goes down in history.

Components That Make A Great Groom’s Speech

Adding humor to your groom’s speech is a great way to make it memorable. However, it should still be built off of a solid speech structure. You could probably just get up and wing it, but doing that might get you in trouble .

Funny wedding jokes are a complement to a great speech, so look for opportunities to add in a story or joke. Here are key components that should be included in your groom’s speech.

• Thank your new father-in-law; make a funny joke
• Thank you bride’s family, for their warm welcome
• Thank your family for their love and support; add a funny anecdote about your childhood.
• Thank the bridesmaids, praise their beautiful appearance, and give a toast
• Thank your best man; add a funny (clean) story.
• Thank anybody else who helped during wedding planning
• Thank your new wife for her love, support, and encouragement.
• Talk about how excited you are about the future.
• Give the microphone to your best man.

Awesome Jokes For Your Groom’s Speech

8 opening line examples for groom’s toast.

• “I’ve been told to keep it short and keep it clean, so I’ve had it dangled in a pint of icy water for the last 15 minutes.”
• “The last time I addressed a room full of people like this, I was in court.”
• “Let me tell you that is not the first time today I have risen from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand.”
• “I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”
• “Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t be the same…but it would be cheaper.”
• “My speech today will be like a mini skirt, long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention.”
• “Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. I had prepared a superb speech for you today, but unfortunately, now that I am married … I’ve been told to read this one instead.”
• “Ladies and gentlemen, I had originally intended to just say a few words. But before dinner was served, my lovely wife took my speech, rewrote it, and left me with this version that’s more fitting for accepting an Oscar.”

7 Funny Quotes Groom Can Say About His Bride In The Groom Speech

• “I’ve got a very funny speech prepared for you, but my wife has told me to read this one instead.”
• “My ex-girlfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today.”
• “My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That.”
• “I’ve married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.”
• “When it comes to talking about my bride’s good points, where do I start? She’s intelligent, generous, hardworking, popular, and a brilliant judge of character.”
• “We’ve lived together a long time, but I haven’t married the women I want to live with; I have married the women I can’t live without.”
• “Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.”

Funny Quotes About Your New In-Laws For Groom Speech

• “My father-in-law told me it would be the happiest day of my life. He was right; the stag party was unforgettable.”
• “I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married man’s life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother-in-law and not be interrupted … I may be here some time.”
• “What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”
• “In Dave and Pippa, I have gained the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been so far from that stereotype. [pause, turn to in-laws timorously] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”
• “What can I tell you about Paula? So fond am I of my mother-in-law, in fact, that I barely consider here to be my mother-in-law at all…”
• “I haven’t spoken to my Mother-In-Law for eighteen months; I don’t like to interrupt her.”

Add Some Humor About The Best Man / Bachelor Party In Groom Speech

Tell a couple of jokes about your relationship with the best man or about what went on at the stag party – without getting too into the shenanigans of a drink-fuelled weekend.

Or use some jokes at their expense:

“I’d like to say the bridesmaids look like one in a million today. The best man and grooms, on the other hand, look like they were won in a raffle.”

Get Creative With Your Groom Speech – Incorporate Pictures, Videos, & Props

Jokes don’t have to be just about one-liners and gags. Use videos, audio clips, or props to add a little humor to your speech. It will help get the guests involved and add to the funniness of the day. Audio jokes have been used in speeches, props, and images of the happy couple and even raps and songs have been used to perform the toast.

There are an awful lot of ways to make your speech memorable and personal to you and your new wife and if you’re still intrigued, see more groom’s speech examples for inspiration.

Are you nervous? Afraid you might forget the words? Not sure if you can do it in front of all those people? Still, do not know what to write to be witty and funny? Check out our Total Guide to Wedding Speeches & Toasts .

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The Ultimate Guide to Groom Wedding Speeches: 25+ Examples,Jokes and quotes for Inspiration

Of all the speeches given at a wedding, the groom's speech is arguably the most anticipated. It's a chance for the groom to express his love and gratitude to his new spouse, as well as thank those who made the day possible. But crafting a memorable groom wedding speech can be a daunting task. That's why we've created this complete guide to help you through the process. In this post, we'll provide you with expert tips, ideas, and real-life examples to inspire your own speech. Whether you're a seasoned public speaker or this is your first time addressing a crowd, this guide will help you deliver a heartfelt and memorable groom wedding speech. So, let's get started!

Preparing for the Groom Wedding Speech

Structure of a groom wedding speech, dos and don'ts of a groom wedding speech, best examples of groom wedding speech, groom speech jokes, groom speech quotes.

Preparing for a groom wedding speech involves three key steps: brainstorming, writing the speech, and practicing the speech.

• Brainstorming. The first step is to brainstorm some ideas. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Consider your relationship with your bride, your family and friends, and the wedding day itself. Jot down some notes and ideas that come to mind.
• Writing the Speech. Once you have some ideas, it's time to write the speech. Begin by creating an outline that includes the key points you want to cover. Use the outline to structure your speech and ensure that you cover everything you want to say. Remember to keep it concise, heartfelt, and engaging.
• Practicing the Speech. The final step is to practice the speech. Practice in front of a mirror, or better yet, in front of a trusted friend or family member. This will help you become more comfortable and confident with the speech. Also, pay attention to your timing and delivery. Practice speaking slowly and clearly, and make sure your speech doesn't drag on too long.

Now let's take a closer look at the structure of a groom wedding speech. Here are the key elements that you should include in your speech:

• Opening Lines.  Start with a warm welcome to all the guests and thank them for joining you on this special day. This will set the tone for your speech and make the guests feel appreciated.
• Thanking the Guests.  Next, express your gratitude to the guests for being a part of your wedding day. This can be a simple but heartfelt thank you for their presence and support.
• Thanking the Family.  Thank your family members for their love and support. This is a good opportunity to acknowledge your parents and any siblings or other family members who played a significant role in your life.
• Acknowledging the Bride.  Acknowledge your new bride and express your love and appreciation for her. This is the most important part of your speech and should be the main focus. Share a personal story or a special memory that you have shared together. This will show the guests the depth of your love and affection for your bride.
• Sharing Personal Stories.  Share some personal stories about your relationship with your bride. This can be funny or touching, but make sure it is appropriate for the occasion. This will help to make your speech more memorable and engaging for the guests.
• Expressing Gratitude.  Express gratitude to anyone who played a role in making the wedding day special. This can include the wedding planner, caterer, florist, or anyone else who helped to make the day a success.
• Closing Lines.  Finally, close your speech by thanking the guests once again and expressing your excitement for the future. This is a good opportunity to toast to your new life together as a married couple.

There are some dos and don'ts that you should keep in mind when preparing for your groom wedding speech. Here are some key points to consider:

• Be sincere and speak from the heart.
• Make eye contact with the guests to help connect with them.
• Use appropriate humor to make your speech engaging and enjoyable.
• Keep your speech concise and to the point.
• Drink too much before your speech as it may lead to slurred words or inappropriate behavior.
• Use offensive language or jokes that may offend some guests.
• Share embarrassing stories that may embarrass your bride or anyone else.
• Make your speech too long as guests may lose interest.

1. "Dear friends and family, it is an honor to stand before you today as the luckiest man in the world. I want to take a moment to thank all of you for being here to celebrate with us. Your love, support, and presence mean the world to us, and we are so grateful to have you in our lives. And speaking of special, let me tell you a little bit about my bride. [Bride's name], you are the love of my life, my best friend, and my partner in all of life's adventures. From the moment I met you, I knew you were the one for me. You light up my world, and I am forever grateful for the day you walked into my life.I remember the first time I saw you, [Bride's name], it was like time stood still. Your beauty, grace, and kind heart left me speechless. And as we got to know each other, I fell more deeply in love with you with each passing day. From our first date to our first kiss, from our travels around the world to the quiet moments we share at home, every moment with you is a treasure.Today marks the beginning of our new journey together, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds. Thank you all for being here to celebrate with us. Cheers to love, happiness, and a lifetime of unforgettable memories." 2. "Ladies and gentlemen, today is the happiest day of my life. I am standing here as the luckiest man in the world, grateful for the opportunity to marry my soulmate, [Bride's name]. This is a day we will cherish forever, and I want to express my gratitude to everyone who has made it possible.To our family and friends, thank you for your love, support, and presence. Your kindness and generosity mean the world to us, and we are so grateful to have you in our lives. Today is not just about us, it's about all of us, coming together to celebrate love, happiness, and unity. And speaking of love, let me tell you a little bit about my bride. [Bride's name], you are my soulmate, my best friend, and my partner in all things. I cannot imagine my life without you, and I am grateful every day for the love you bring into my world. You inspire me to be a better person, and I am honored to stand here today as your husband.I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. I was drawn to your beauty and your infectious smile. As we got to know each other, I realized that there was so much more to you than just your looks. You are kind, smart, and funny, and I am grateful every day that I get to call you mine. From the first time we said 'I love you' to the moment I proposed, every moment with you has been a blessing.Today marks the beginning of our new journey together, and I vow to love, honor, and cherish her for all eternity. Thank you all for being here to celebrate with us. Let's raise a glass to love, happiness, and a lifetime of unforgettable memories." 3. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I want to start by thanking you all for being here today to celebrate with us. And let me just say, [Bride's name], you look absolutely stunning. Seriously though, thank you all for coming today. We couldn't have done this without you. And to our parents, thank you for all the love, support, and guidance you've given us throughout our lives. You've helped shape us into the people we are today, and we're so grateful for everything you've done.Now, let's talk about the real star of the show - my amazing bride, [Bride's name]. You make me laugh, you make me smile, and you make me happier than I ever thought possible. I'm pretty sure you're the reason why they invented the word 'awesome'. You are my rock, my soulmate, and my everything.We've had some incredible adventures together, from hiking through the mountains to exploring new cities. But some of my favorite memories are the small moments we share at home, like cuddling up on the couch to watch our favorite shows or cooking dinner together. I'm grateful for every moment we spend together, and I'm excited to spend the rest of my life making more memories with you.I just want to say how grateful I am to be marrying [Bride's name]. She is the love of my life, my partner in crime, and my best friend. Together, we're going to conquer the world. So let's raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after. Cheers!" 4. "Dear friends and family, I stand before you today with a heart full of love and gratitude. Today is a special day.I want to take a moment to thank our families for their unwavering support and love. Mom and Dad, thank you for raising me to be the man I am today, and for always being there for me. [Bride's parents], thank you for welcoming me into your family and for raising such an amazing daughter. And to our friends and loved ones, thank you for being here today to celebrate with us. Your love and support mean the world to us. And as I look at my beautiful bride, I know that I've found my forever. [Bride's name], you are the most amazing person I've ever met, and I feel so lucky to call you my wife. You make me a better person every single day, and I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my life.As we start this new chapter of our lives together, I vow to always be there for you, to support you, and to love you with all my heart. You are my best friend, my soulmate, and my everything. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Thank you all for being here to celebrate with us. Let's raise a glass to love, happiness, and forever. Cheers." 5. "Dear family and friends, I feel incredibly lucky to be standing here today as a married man. It's a surreal feeling, knowing that I have found my soulmate and partner for life. Thank you all for joining us in this celebration.I would like to take a moment to thank our parents for their endless love and support. We would not be the people we are today without you. To our friends and family, thank you for traveling from near and far to be here with us. Your presence means the world to us.To my beautiful bride, I can't even put into words how much you mean to me. You are my best friend, my partner, my confidante, and my soulmate. I love you more than words can express, and I'm grateful every day to wake up next to you. You make me a better man, and I promise to spend the rest of my life making you happy.As we start this new chapter in our lives together, I promise to always love, cherish, and support you. I'm excited to see what the future holds for us, and I can't wait to grow old with you. Thank you again to everyone who came out to celebrate with us today. Let's raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after."

• "I'm honored to be here today as the groom. And just between us, I'm pretty sure I won the 'best looking' contest between the bride and I. (pause for laughter)
• "I've heard that a good marriage is like a casserole. It takes both ingredients to make it work, and sometimes it's a little messy, but it's always worth it in the end."
• "As I was writing this speech, I asked my wife what she wanted me to say. She replied, 'just make sure you say I'm always right.' So, there you have it, folks. My wife is always right."
• "I've learned that the key to a successful marriage is to always be honest with your partner. For example, when my wife asks if she looks fat in a dress, I always say, 'of course not, honey, you look beautiful.' (pause for laughter)
• "I never believed in love at first sight, until I met my wife. Of course, she thought I was the waiter when we first met, but that's a story for another time."
• "I want to thank my in-laws for accepting me into their family. I promise to always treat your daughter with love and respect, and to never borrow money from you."
• "I used to think that marriage was like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. But now I realize that marriage is more like a pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." (pause for laughter)
• "I've been told that marriage is a lot like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But by the end, you're hoping for a club and a spade." (pause for laughter)
• "I never thought I'd be standing here as a married man. I always assumed I'd be the one in the back of the room, catching the bouquet."
• "I want to thank my groomsmen for their support and friendship over the years. You guys are like the brothers I never wanted, but now can't live without."
• "I was a little nervous about giving this speech, but then I remembered that my wife promised not to correct my grammar in public anymore. So, I'm pretty much invincible up here."
• "In closing, I just want to say how grateful I am to have found my soulmate in [bride's name]. She's beautiful, intelligent, and always keeps me on my toes. And now that we're married, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her, and annoying her in all the best ways possible."
• "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
• "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short."
• "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds."
• "Marriage is a journey that begins in forever and ends in never."
• "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
• "I choose you. And I'll choose you over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you."
• "Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction."
• 8. "Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it's about finding the person you can't live without."
• "A happy marriage is a union of two good forgivers."
• "A marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's the way you love your partner every day."
• "Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner."
• "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Your groom wedding speech is an important part of your wedding day. It's a chance for you to express your love and appreciation for your partner, and to thank your family and friends for being a part of your special day. With the help of this complete guide to groom wedding speeches, you should now have all the information you need to prepare and deliver an amazing speech.

Remember to take your time when preparing your speech, and to practice it as much as possible. Try to incorporate personal stories and anecdotes to make your speech more meaningful and memorable. And don't forget to include some jokes and quotes to lighten the mood and show your personality.

Lastly, remember that your wedding day is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. Don't stress too much about your speech – just speak from the heart and enjoy the moment. Congratulations on your wedding day, and good luck with your speech!

If you're in need of more examples of wedding speeches, the following content may be helpful to you.

Get Inspired: 20+ Maid of Honour Speech Examples and Ideas 2024

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• Home / Blog / Wedding Planning / Groom Speech Examples – Idea’s to Inspire Your Speech

Wedding Planning

Groom speech examples – idea’s to inspire your speech, table of contents, 1. groom sentimental speech i, 2. groom wedding speech ii, 3. groom wedding speech iii, 4. funny groom wedding speech i, 5. funny groom wedding speech ii, 6. funny speech i, 6. ice breaker i (before best man) – funny, 7. ice breaker ii (before best man) – funny, 8. groom wedding ice breaker iii (before father of the bride), 9. ice breaker iv (before father of the bride), other useful speeches.

Groom speech examples can provide good inspiration for writing your own wedding speech. By reviewing other examples you can quickly gather ideas and things that will potentially work for your audience.  To better help you write your groom speech, we have created a list of examples below to help you kick start your wedding speech writing. 

These top 9 examples will not only help you write a speech but they will also help you identify your tone, humour and the length of your speech. So here we go, here’s our list of 9 helpful groom speech examples to consider for your wedding.

<Pick up the microphone. Look at the crowd. Pause contemplatively.>

I want to first thank [name of your wife’s dad], the father of my beautiful bride. Wasn’t that a wonderful speech? Let’s hear another round of applause for him for raising such a wonderful daughter.

<Pause for round of applause.>

For those of you rushing to the bathroom and to the exit, I promise I’ll be quick. I just want to say thank you to a couple of people who have played an especially important role in my life and my new life with this beautiful woman. <Point to the bride.>

To my Mom and Dad—thank you for everything. You two have shaped me into the person I am today and for that, I will forever be thankful. You have instilled in me principles, discipline, and compassion, and you have guided me when I need it most. I love you both. Thank you.

To my groomsmen: you all are great. I can’t imagine any group of people who I would rather have here with me tonight. You have all been great friends to me, and I hope I have done the same for you. [Name of one of your groomsman], [specific anecdote]. And [Name of one of your groomsman who is a relative], [specific anecdote]. Thank you.

To [name of maid of honour], you were great tonight; and I can’t thank you enough for supporting my wife throughout this whole ideal. A lot of men complain about their wife’s friends—about how they meddle and gossip. But not me. You’re an amazing friend to my wife and to me, and I’m happy you’re here tonight.

Finally, to my new bride, what can I say? You’re beautiful, you’re loving, you’re thoughtful, and you’re funny. You’re everything that a single guy hopes to find,

but few do. I’m so happy that I found you, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. I love you. <Look at bride.>

To everyone else who came tonight, thank you for being here. I know a lot of you travelled a long way just to be here and to share this evening with us. So thank you, again.

<Pick up the microphone.>

Let me start by thanking you all for being here today. I know my wife has probably already told each and every one of you thanks for being here, but it bears repeating: it means the world to us to have all of the important people in our lives here tonight. It makes the ceremony mean more to use now that we can share it with all of you tonight.

There’s something you might not know about [wife’s name] and me. [Tell charming anecdotes about how you met or something you two share, but few know about]. Sure, it sounds simple and significant, but it’s one of the things that makes our relationship great. We’ve shared hundreds of moments like this together, and I hope we experience thousands more in our new lives together. I love you, honey. <Turn to wife.>

And how could I forget my best man, [name of best man]? If ever someone deserved the title, ―best man,‖ you’re it. You’re a stand-up guy; and I’m glad you agreed to do this today. You’re truly not just someone to have a beer with and watch football games. You’re a close friend and someone I always have and always will look to for advice. Thank you.

And how about [name of maid of honour]? Isn’t she great? Doesn’t she look beautiful tonight? Let’s hear some applause for her. <Wait for applause.> You’ve been a wonderful and caring friend to my wife. You’ve always been there when she needed you. Thank you for being here for her as a friend and throughout the entire wedding planning process.

Mom and Dad, I love you two. Sometimes, I don’t know how I got as lucky as I did to have such a great family. You two have provided a shining example for me of what marriage should be: loving, kind, patient, and understanding. I hope that I can be as good a husband to [wife’s name] as you are to Mom, Dad. Thank you. I love you.

Finally, my bride. It’s hard to even think of words to say. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and funny. We share a lot of quirks together; and a lot of moments that define who we both are. I love you so much, and I look forward to loving you even more as we grow old together.

Thanks again everyone for being here. My best man is up next. Give him a round of applause.

We have a lot of speeches tonight. [Bride’s father], myself, [best man], and [wife’s name]. Yes, we’re all giving speeches. So I’ll try to keep mine quick. I just want to acknowledge some of the people who I feel have played an instrumental role in my life and my wife’s.

Let me start with my mom. Yes, I’ll admit it: I’m a momma’s boy. You’ve raised me, cared for me, and helped me to understand what it means to be an adult. From the example you’ve given me, I know what it means to love someone else and to provide for them. I hope that I can carry this forth into my marriage.

Dad, you’ve been a great role model for me and you’ve encouraged me—through your great example—to be a good husband. I hope I can follow on your path and to have a marriage that is as sound and as deep as you and Mom’s. I love you both. Thank you for being who you are and for making me who I am.

To my [sisters and/or brothers—list all names], I love you all. It’s hard for me not to look at you and cry, but I’m going to try not to get emotional. It’s amazing for me to see where we’ve been and where we are now. We’re all grown up. Even though I’m married now. Thanks for being here and for supporting us.

To, [names of bride’s parents], thank you for welcoming me into your family. You two have been kind, accepting, and welcoming since the start. I cannot tell you how happy I am that you two approved when I asked whether or not I could marry your daughter.

To my best man, you’re been a great friend and confidant. I couldn’t have possibly picked a better person to be my best man. I guess that’s why they call the role ―best man.‖ Thanks for being here and doing this. It means a lot to both me and [wife’s name].

Finally, to my lovely bride. I cannot imagine a woman who is more perfect than you are. You are gorgeous, compassionate, and thoughtful. When I’m sick, seeing your pretty face is enough to make me feel better. When I’m depressed or tired, you’re there to lift me up. You’re my everything. I love you. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

To everyone else—thank you for coming. [Bride’s name] and I are thrilled to have every important person in our lives here with us today to share this moment. Thank you.

Thank you, everyone, for being here tonight to share this experience with me and [name of wife]. It has been great talking to all of you and hearing about what you have been up to. I never realised it originally, but one of the great things about getting married is that you get to see almost everyone who is important in your life to get a snapshot of their lives. It really is great.

I can see my wife giving me the evil stare, so I’ll try to keep things short. But before I do, let me just say: wow—I can’t believe I just said wife. It’s amazing that we’re finally married. Also, it’s amazing that we’ve only been married for a mere [number of hours since ceremony] and you have already developed an evil stare that usually only comes from years of marriage. We truly were meant for each other!

So, let’s see? Where should I start? Mom and Dad, thank you for being there for me and for us. You’ve always supported our relationship and our choices. And you’ve always done what you could to guide us along the right path. I love you two and I appreciate you more the older I become.

And how about [brother or sister’s name]? You knew I was going to mention you! But don’t worry, for the first day in our lives, I’m not going to pick on you or point out your flaws. I love you and I’m glad you’re here. You’re a great [brother/sister], and I know that I can always come to you for help and advice. Thank you.

Now, on to my best man. He’s up next and I’m sure he’ll make me look stupid, so I’m going to pre-empt him. [Tell a funny story about your best man.] Now that I’ve got my shot in, fire away. You’re a great friend. Thanks for being here and being my best man.

To the maid of honour—everyone else is saying it, so I will, too: you look great tonight. And more importantly, you’ve been a great friend to both [wife’s name] and I over the years. I’m happy that she has such an awesome best friend and that you’ve been there for her when she needed you most. Thank you.

To my new bride—I love you. You’re beautiful, smart, and loving. And even though I’ve known you for years, there’s never a day where you don’t excite me or surprise me. You’ve transformed my life in ways you may never understand. I love you and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Thanks again everyone. Now, give a round of applause for my best man, [name of best man].

It’s funny. Before I met [name of wife], I didn’t know if I could ever imagine myself being married. I mean, I knew that one day I wanted to have a wife, kids, a dog, and a beautiful house, but I could never see myself getting from where I was to where I am. Well, other than the dog. I had had dogs in the past, so that part of the picture wasn’t too hard to fill in. It’s mainly the wife, the house, and the kids that I was fuzzy on.

And then I met [the bride’s name]. Everything changed. I know it sounds cheesy, but it really did. I finally learned what it meant to be truly in love. And what it meant to want to be with one person for the rest of your life—even if you struggled at times. Even if you had arguments and disagreements.

And here I am today—getting married. It’s truly an exhilarating experience. Some say you feel mild remorse after you get married. They say you’ll fear what it means to never be able to date someone new or to experience falling in love again. But not me. Every day of my life, I fall in love with this woman again. And I look forward to doing that now and for the rest of my life. I love you, [name of wife].

Now, that’s not all I want to say. No groom’s speech would be complete without poking fun at some relatives and friends, so I’ll do that first.

Let’s start with my best man. I know you’re going to make fun of me for a full five minutes once you get the microphone, but give me the chance to butter you up first. You look great in that tux tonight. You’re a stand-up guy and you deserve true happiness. I would never make fun of you on your wedding day. And I’m sure you’d do the same for me. Right?

To Mom and Dad—you’re the best. Your endless wisdom, your grittiness, and your kindness has kept me happy and has provided me with endless life lessons. Dad, you’ve shown me how to be a husband. And, Mom, you’ve shown me what it means to truly love and care for someone. I love you both. And I hope that [wife’s name] and I can develop into what you two share.

To [names of bride’s parents], thank you for accepting me into the family. It’s never possible to be completely sure whether or not someone secretly hates you, but I suspect you two don’t. In all seriousness—thank you for everything you have done for the two of us. I’m glad that I’m here today getting married to the wonderful daughter you raised.

To everyone else—thank you for being here tonight. I know a lot of you drove long distances and even took time off from work. Now, let me turn this microphone over to my best man before I start getting too emotional.

Can we get another round of applause for the father of the bride? Not just for that speech, but for raising such a wonderful daughter. <Pause for applause.>

Now, some of you may be wondering why I’m up here. Aren’t two speeches enough? Well, I’m sorry if I bore some of you, but I just have to say thank you to some of the important people in my life who made this day possible.

First, on behalf of my wife, I would like to thank my parents. They truly did an amazing job raising me. Not only am I handsome and intelligent, but I’m also humble. Without you two to raise me, God only knows how things would be for [wife’s name]. But in all seriousness, I love you two. Thank you for everything.

To my groomsmen: don’t listen to what everyone is saying. You guys look sharp tonight. Thanks for being here for me and [wife’s name]. You did a great job in the ceremony, and we’ll forever appreciate it.

To [name of maid of honour], my wife’s maid of honour, thank you for being here and for playing such an important role in [wife’s name]’s life. Without you, she would have much more free time to pick up on my flaws and to nag me. You’ve really played a pivotal role in our relationship by keeping her distracted.

And to my new bride, I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you, and I’ve always known that I would marry you one day. Well, today is that day. We’ve finally tied the knot and made this thing final. I love looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.

To everyone else—thank you for being here today. When I look out into the crowd and see the faces of almost every important person in my life, it really is overwhelming. So, thank you for being here and for sharing this day with me and [wife’s name].

In a minute, my best man is going to step up here and tell you some stories about me. But before he does, I want to say a few words about him. Just a few— so sit tight.

Now, there are a lot of things you should know about [best man’s name]. For instance, he’s an avid [name of his hobby]. Also, he has [number of pets and pets’ names]. He works as a [name of job].

But most importantly, you should know that he has a healthy imagination. So, when he gets up here and tells you all sorts of embarrassing stories about me, just know that they’ve been enhanced in some way.

With that said, let’s hear a round of applause for my best man, [name of best man]. Come up here and take the mic. <Pause for applause.>

Thanks for being here tonight, everyone. I know that many of you drove or flew here from far away. [Name of person who drove from far away], I know, drove [number of miles driven] just to be here. Thank you for being here on this special night for me and [name of wife].

In a minute, a long time friend of mine is going to get up here and tell you some stories about me and about our friendship. But before he does, I thought it would only be fair to tell you something.

Everything he tells you—whether it is bad or embarrassing or funny—is a lie. As a long time friend of his, I can tell you he’s a pathological liar. He just can’t help himself. So, when you hear him telling you about something really stupid I did, just know that it isn’t true.

In all seriousness, he’s a great guy and I’m glad he’s my best man. Thanks for being here tonight, [name of best man]. Come on up here.

Thanks for being here, everyone. It’s nice to see the faces of people who have played such an important part in our lives. My family, my friends, my wife’s family, and my wife’s friends: it’s great to see you all.

Today, I have two jobs. The first I already did: I married this beautiful woman, [name of wife], who I can finally call my wife. <Turn to wife.> I love you so much. And I look forward to spending each day of the rest of my life with you.

My second job is to introduce her Dad, [name of wife’s dad]. So let me say a few words about him for those who haven’t met him.

First, he is a kind, wise father; and his wife and children love him very much. In all the time I have had the pleasure of knowing [wife’s name], I have heard nothing but effusive praise and reverence for her father. When I met him, I understood why.

The second thing I want to say about him is that he has truly raised a wonderful daughter, and for that, I am forever in his debt. So thank you.

Now, [name of wife’s father], come up here and grab the mic. Let’s hear a round of applause for [name of wife’s father].

Let me start by first thanking everyone who came tonight. [Name of wife] and I couldn’t be happier to see all of you in the audience. So thank you for being here.

Next, I just want to relay a message that I have heard buzzing about in the reception hall: the bridesmaids and the groomsmen look great tonight. And since that’s the only reason we picked you, I’m glad to hear it was a success.

Finally, it’s my job to introduce someone who has recently become a very important part of my life: [bride’s name]’s father. When we first met, I think he was protective of his daughter and pretty skeptical of me. But over time, we’ve become close.

From all of my encounters with [name of dad], I have seen nothing but a patient, wise, and loving father, a caring husband, and a wonderful friend. He is truly a great man. And it is my pleasure to introduce him, so that he can say a few words about my new bride.

Let’s hear a round of applause for [name of bride’s father]. <Pause for applause.>

• Father of the Bride Speech
• Maid of Honour Speech Examples
• Best Man Speech
• Bride Wedding Speech
• Groom Speech

Nathan is a seasoned wedding professional with over 12 years of experience in the wedding industry. After years of working as a wedding photographer, Nathan's expertise extends to weddings of all kinds throughout the UK and beyond. In addition to capturing beautiful moments, Nathan also collaborates closely with a wide range of UK wedding businesses, assisting them in connecting with couples who are preparing to tie the knot.

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Best groom jokes for a wedding speech to remember

"i only found out today that a toastmaster isn’t actually a kitchen appliance.".

Traditionally, a groom’s speech thanks the guests for being there, brings out some romantic sentiment, and then it’s job done; after all,  the best man is in charge of the funnies .

But just as the father of the bride can also have a laugh , who says the groom can’t crack a few jokes too?

Here are some great groom jokes guaranteed to gets a few laughs during your time in the spotlight:

“A wedding speech is one of those rare occasions when you get the opportunity to publicly say how you feel about the people you really care about. So I’m going to devote the next couple of minutes paying tribute to some very special people indeed. Starting with the bar staff.” “Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments’ silence in memory of the countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.” “All those among you who know my new wife/husband will know that they are a wonderful and caring person. They deserve a good husband. Thank God they married me before they found one.” “I feel very fortunate to have married [wife/husband’s name]. None of you will know this, but I’ve actually been congratulated already. ‘Son,’ my father said to me, ‘Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you’ve ever done.’ Fitting words, I thought, as I set off for my stag night.” “Now I know what you’re all thinking: ‘doesn’t he look great in his suit?’ This is actually down to a fitness regime which includes me doing at least 50 push-ups a day for the last three months. But I should mention that none of them have actually been intentional – I’ve just been collapsing a lot from all the nerves and stress.”

“I’ve been feeling quite nervous about giving this speech for some time. But I’m pleased to say last night I slept like a baby – I woke up every two hours, crying my eyes out.”

“For those of you without the internet I’ll update you on my new wife/husband’s Facebook account, which they’ve secretly been using under the table as I speak. Their status has been changed to ‘married’, their parents immediately ‘disliked’ this, and 32 people in this room have already ‘poked’ them.”

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“Twenty years ago, I was told by a doctor that I would never dance normally again. When the band starts, you’ll see exactly what that specialist was talking about.”

“The buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis. So, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…”

“When it comes to talking about my wife/husband’s good points, where do I start? They’re intelligent, generous, hard working, popular – and a brilliant judge of character.”

“I was in a pub when I proposed. It was actually very romantic – I got up on one knee.”

“I didn’t really know where to start so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I‘d found some really, really good stuff. But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech.” “I suppose you’ll be expecting a few laughs in this speech. But I know I need to tread carefully. I don’t want to upset my in-laws and hear my wife/husband going around and introducing me to everyone as their ‘first husband’.” “Firstly I’d just like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact, this must be the third time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.” “I don’t know if you noticed earlier, but when [wife/husband’s name]’s father toasted ‘Absent Friends’, the best man stood up and took a bow.” “It’s been an emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.” “I will shortly be handing over to the best man. But unlike many best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, he has promised me that if there is anything slightly risqué, he will whip it out immediately.” “When I asked [Bride/husband’s name]’s father if I could marry them, he immediately wanted to know if I would be able to support a family. The answer was no. I was only planning to support them. The rest of them would have to look after themselves.”

“For those of you who don’t know me, my full name is actually ‘[name]-would-you-like-a-drink’. For anyone who I chat to later, if you could use my full name in the bar area please.”

“I did ask for a microphone but was told there weren’t any available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence at the front should assure you that you’re not missing out on anything.”

“I just want to say, in front of our families and dearest friends, that I love you and hope that every day will be as happy as today – just not as expensive.”

“To start this speech, I Googled ‘the perfect groom speech’. But you had to pay to read the examples, and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m just going to wing it.”

“On our first date I promised them a seven course meal. They were a tad disappointed when it turned out to be a burger and a six pack.”

“I’m not used to public speaking. I only found out today that a toastmaster isn’t actually a kitchen appliance.”

“I have no problem admitting to you all that I’m extremely nervous right now. And as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear.”

More jokes: Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May 25 of Dara Ó Briain’s best jokes and funniest quotes 38 of the funniest Russell Howard jokes The 28 funniest Greg Davies jokes and quotes The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 35 of the funniest jokes by Northern comedians The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) 26 of Seann Walsh’s greatest jokes 16 of Barry Chuckle’s greatest jokes 34 of Lee Evans’ funniest jokes and quotes 30 of Romesh Ranganathan’s funniest jokes and quotes 26 of Sara Pascoe’s funniest jokes and quotes 41 of Eddie Izzard’s funniest jokes and quotes 41 of David Mitchell’s funniest jokes and quotes 21 of Rhod Gilbert’s funniest jokes and one-liners 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes 41 of Stewart Francis’ most ingenious jokes and one-liners 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians 30 of Jack Whitehall’s funniest jokes 43 of the funniest Donald Trump jokes 100 pun-based jokes that will make you laugh and cringe 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds 105 of the best bad jokes 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners 50 football jokes to make you laugh – or groan 100 of the best jokes for kids that are actually funny 25 of Peter Kay’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 26 of Stewart Lee’s most gloriously acerbic jokes 49 of Monty Python’s funniest jokes 45 of Ricky Gervais’ funniest jokes 17 of Ken Dodd’s most ingeniously funny jokes 27 of Sarah Millican’s laugh out loud jokes 50 of Jimmy Carr’s funniest jokes and one-liners 50 of Milton Jones’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Tim Vine’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Frankie Boyle’s funniest (and darkest) jokes 25 of Charlie Brooker’s most cutting jokes and insults 25 of Lee Mack’s wittiest jokes and one-liners 75 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland – from Scotland And some hilarious quotes: 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death 30 of Stephen Fry’s funniest jokes and quotes Burt Reynolds’ greatest quotes – remembering the actor’s wit and wisdom following his death aged 82 23 of Outnumbered’s funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) 35 of Blackadder’s most cunning quips and insults 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes 25 of Rik Mayall’s greatest quotes 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier 25 of the most ‘textbook’ Alan Partridge quotes 50 of the best lines from Peep Show 20 of The Young Ones’ most gloriously silly quotes

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Groom Speech Writing Tips

Check out my guide with all the groom speech writing tips you’ll ever need.

So, you’ve proposed, and the ring is safely on your fiancée’s finger. Congratulations! You are now looking forward to the big day itself and, of course, your groom’s speech. Ah, yes… the speech. Unlike the words you carefully delivered – or stumbled over – during the proposal, your speech will be in front of all your friends and family. The pressure is understandable.

This is why I’ve written these groom speech tips. I’m a wedding speech writer who’s written hundreds of wedding speeches and I’d like to help you deliver an exceptional groom speech.

These groom speech tips will cover elements such as icebreakers, thanks, structure and toasts. So, let’s remove some of that apprehension you might be feeling and look at how to write a great groom speech.

Let's make it all right on the night with these Groom speech tips

• Groom Speech Icebreakers
• Who To Thank In Your Groom Speech
• Giving A Toast
• Including Your Bride In Your Groom Speech
• Showcasing Your Proposal In Your Speech
• Nailing Your Groom Speech Structure
• Things To Avoid In Your Groom Speech
• Additional Blogs
• Groom Speech Writing Packages

Groom Speech Ice Breaker Ideas

“Groom speech icebreakers” is a very popular Google search. And it’s obvious why. They set the tone of the speech, and with an early laugh, the guests relax and your confidence soars. So here are some tips on funny groom speech opening lines.

“Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t be the same…but it would be cheaper.”

The old favourites will always have their day in the sun. But rather than use a groom speech opening line that’s more ancient than the Pyramids, why not aim for something original? Here are some angles that might inspire you…

People’s journeys are fresh in their minds so you might want to make a reference to dodgy budget airlines or SatNavs breaking down in tears in trying to find the venue.

Famous wedding

If a celebrity wedding has taken place or is due to, you could draw some fun comparisons. Yours is better obviously…

Calendar clash

Does it clash with a big sporting event? Perhaps people will be checking the latest on their phones…so, if you hear cheers, it’s not because your speech is ending…

Can you link your job to a line? For example, if you’re a hairdresser, you’re used to having an audience that can’t escape for 20 minutes…

Want some funny opening groom speech jokes and lines delivered to your inbox? Why not check out my Groom speech icebreaker packages ?

Tips For Who To Thank In Your Grooms Speech

The thanks are a bit like wedding invitations. As soon as you go beyond close friends and family, you suddenly don’t know where to stop. It’s best to resist this temptation to include everyone. A long list of thanks is a chore to read and a bore to hear. Try to keep the list short, the lines snappy and have a light-hearted remark for each.

The key thanks are to your parents, parents-in-law and those with an important role such as the Best Man, Bridesmaids and Maid of Honour. Here are some examples:

A long list of thanks is a chore to read and a bore to hear. Try to keep the list short, the lines snappy and have a light-hearted remark for each.

The usual suspects

• Parents-in-law
• Ushers & Best Man
• Bridesmaids & Maid of Honour

The less usual suspects

• The staff at the venue
• Page boy & those who’ve done a reading
• The wedding planner
• The celebrant (if it’s a friend)

“And for supporting me – and putting up with me over the years – a massive thanks to my mum and dad.”

“Thanks to [PARENTS-IN-LAW] for welcoming me into their family so warmly. They clearly didn’t know what they were letting themselves in for!”

“And now my Best Man – I find myself in the odd position of thanking him before I hear what he has to say about me….”

Add a little humour to each thanks and it will make the world of difference to your groom speech.

How Best To Give Toast During The Groom Speech

A wedding toast is a few words where you wish people well, thank them or remember them. You then raise your glass and the guests do so too, all taking a sip to express agreement.

Who should I toast?

In a groom’s speech, it’s traditional to toast the bridesmaids at the end, but this is becoming less common. You might wish instead to toast your bride, your family or everyone for coming. One toast at the very end is standard. If you wish to do one or two more, try to do them nearer the beginning to give maximum effect to the final toast.

How many times?

I’ve seen some grooms wishing to toast 4 people or more. I’d strongly advise against this as each extra toast dilutes the effect. Moreover, the guests don’t want to feel they’re participating in an interactive show.

So, other than the bride or bridesmaids, who might a groom toast? Well, it could be to absent friends but check whether the Father of the Bride plans to do this. It could also be parents with some grooms opting to toast parents and parents-in-law in one: “To family!”

My advice with toasts? Less is more.

Ideas For Your Groom Speech To Include Your Bride

Your bride will obviously be the main focus of the speech. Yet how do you encapsulate her and your relationship in just a few minutes? Here are some potential things to cover. Each element has the potential for that winning combination in a groom speech – humour and heartfelt emotions.

How you met

Not everyone will know how you met your wife. Even if it seems fairly normal, such as meeting at work, you’d be surprised how that can be turned into a nice story. Did you have to keep it a secret? Did either of you actually hire the other?

Was one of you late, and is that still mentioned? What was the spark? Perhaps it was your shared sense of humour or tastes. Maybe you both ordered the same drink or meal or were you the opposites that instantly attracted? Did nerves quickly become a conversation that wouldn’t stop, and the staff thought they’d never go home?

Another angle is to describe your feelings when you first saw or spoke to your fiancée. It doesn’t need to be poetry. It can even be: “Wow!”

What you’ve learned about each other

Your groom’s speech is a chance to tell the world all about your fiancée’s qualities and talents. Try not to make it a list though. Give a little detail for each one. For example, if she plays an instrument, what’s the piece she plays that always amazes or moves you. If she’s super-kind, how does she show this? Perhaps it’s patiently listening to you recite your woes after work. Is her smile so radiant and calming it’s a miracle cure? With each of her qualities and talents, try to paint a little picture.

Silly habits either of you might have

Mention these and you’ll get laughter and a free pass to be a bit more sentimental later. Here are some examples…

Poor timekeeping – do you have to tell her the show starts 30 minutes before it actually does? Or are you the one that has to be dragged out of the house?

Hoarding – d oes your wardrobe resemble an Amazon warehouse? Does she laugh at all the old cables you keep “just in case”?

Unable to pass a particular type of shop – does she agree with the statement that there’s no such thing as too many handbags? Or is that you with gadgets or sports equipment?

Superstitious – do either of you believe in horoscopes or fate?

Obsessed with a band/TV show – can she quote Friends word for word? Or is it, worryingly, a true crime show?

Spreadsheet – could your life be described as excellent mainly because your wife organises it on Excel?

If you plan to speak for 7-8 minutes, it’s a good idea to include a couple of stories about your bride or you as a couple. Keep them fairly brief – one that can be told in one paragraph is ideal – two paragraphs at a maximum.

You might wish to include one from early in your relationship, such as how you met. Other areas include nights out, holidays, meeting your future parents-in-law or asking for permission to marry your fiancée. And, of course, there’s the proposal…

Top Tips To Showcase Your Proposal In Your Groom Speech

The proposal isn’t always needed in your groom’s speech. However, mentioning how you felt when you said the words – or how your fiancée reacted – can be a nice touch. If you want to include it, a proposal story naturally has the following elements:

• Did you manage to keep your plan secret?
• Where did it take place?
• What was the reaction when the ring was produced? A peal of laughter, a tsunami of tears?

A good place to include the proposal is nearer the end of the speech, after all your main stories about the bride. Your natural lead-in is then: this is why you wanted to make her your wife.

Hacks For A Perfectly Structured Groom Speech

You want your groom’s speech to be memorable. You want it to be special. However, don’t fall into the trap of assuming you need an elaborate structure to do this. A simple groom speech structure allows the listeners to know where they are in the speech. They can relax and focus on your carefully crafted lines. Here’s a classic structure you can use:

You can usually cover all of the above in seven to eight minutes. If you wish to tell more stories – or have longer thanks to make – then a longer speech might be needed. That said, I’d advise not going much longer than ten minutes.

• Icebreakers
• Welcome and thanks
• A lighter-hearted section about the bride – how you met; first impressions; stories about her or the two of you as a couple
• The proposal (if you wish to include this)
• A more heartfelt section about the bride
• A toast to end

Avoid These Things When Writing Your Grooms Speech

One of my main groom speech tips is: if in doubt, leave it out. Here are some examples of what to leave on the cutting room floor.

“And I’d also like to thank…”

Avoid reciting a stream of “thank you”s. You don’t want your speech to be remembered as the acceptance speech that went on and on.

The gifts that keep on giving…

Handing out gifts is surprisingly time-consuming and can turn your speech into an adult version of Santa’s Grotto. Keep this to a minimum or, better still, don’t do it during the speech at all.

Too much about the Best Man

I recommend poking some gentle fun at the Best Man before thanking him for his support and friendship. Choosing one simple foible can suffice, e.g., his timekeeping, his obsession with sport, etc. Joking about your fear about what he will say is also a traditional angle. However, don’t use this as an excuse to do a mini-Best Man’s speech. You’re not marrying him, after all.

“I love my wife. I really really really love my wife.”

Don’t go overboard with expressions of love. The more you use them, the less impact each one will have. Think of it as your joker. When used, it will have maximum effect.

Wonderful, brilliant, amazing, delightful

A groom speech with ten “wonderfuls” won’t sound wonderful. Use a variety of positive adjectives throughout your speech. If you’re struggling, don’t be scared to use an online thesaurus .

Check Out These Blogs below For More Groom Wedding Speech Tips

Essential groom speech tips a-z, serving up a great groom’s speech, stand and deliver: how to deliver a good speech, my groom speech writing packages.

If you’re still scratching your head on how to write a great groom speech, and are feeling a bit overwhelmed, I have the perfect groom speech writing packages and services for you.

Bespoke wedding speech

• from the opening welcomes and icebreaker to the final toast, I write you a speech from scratch. Jokes and heart-string-tugging lines written just for you

Groom speech edit

• if you’ve written a draft (or most of one) and want it to go to the next level, I can help. I can take a look at the flow, balance, and write new original lines and jokes. Not sure if you need help? Send your speech over for free feedback.

Groom speech icebreakers and tearjerkers

• A PDF of 60 gags and tear-jerkers for your groom's speech. 100% original material. Takes you from the opening funny lines to final toast.

Want to chat with Marc about your speech? Just click below...

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Funny Groom Speech Example

If you’re looking for inspiration for your Groom speech, an example can help.

Here’s a warm and witty Groom speech written for an imaginary Groom called Scott.

Thank you Mike for your kind toast and for your wonderful speech. To be honest you’ve set the bar quite high there. I thought we agreed you were going to be a bit rubbish to make me look good. Oh well, soldiering on… Hello everyone! I’m Scott and I’m the Groom. If you didn’t know that already there’s a good chance you’re at the wrong wedding. But you’re here now, so you might as well stay for the cake. Before I get into the thank yous, I just wanted to say, doesn’t Sarah look absolutely stunning today everyone? I honestly feel like I’ve won the lottery. And not just a two-quid scratchcard – the proper lottery. Now I know I speak for both of us when I say we’ve had an amazing day so far. We feel very lucky to have so many of our friends and family here so thank you all for coming. I know some of you had a bit of a journey to get here and we really do appreciate it. As I’m sure you realize, it took a lot of effort from various people to make today happen. For instance, without me going to the trouble of proposing to Sarah, none of this would have been possible. So firstly I’d like to thank me. But also, to Sarah, for saying yes. It wasn’t a foregone conclusion. But that aside we had a lot of help and support from a number of people and it’s only right to mention a few names. Firstly, Janet and Mike, Sarah’s Mum and Dad. You’ve both been a huge help during all the preparations and we literally couldn’t have done it without you. Also, thank you for raising such an amazing young woman and for being so welcoming to me despite my footballing allegiances. Next I want to thank my own Mum and Dad, Robert and Julie. You know I’m not good at speaking from the heart but I love you both to bits. Thank you for all the help and support you’ve given me over the years. I know I’m not always the easiest person to deal with but on the plus side raising me must have been very character-building for you both. No need to thank me for that - you’re welcome. Moving to Jason, thanks for agreeing to be my Best Man, mate. We’ve known each other since we were five so you couldn’t really say no. Thank you for all the scrapes you’ve got me out of over the years, even though it was you who got me into most of them in the first place. And thanks for organizing the stag do. I look forward to catching up over a beer so you can tell me where we went and what we did. Things are a little bit hazy… Anyway mate, we’ve got a little present to say thank you. I hope you like it. Try not to drink it all before your speech. Thanks to Colin and Steve our wonderful ushers. Great ushing guys. You ushed like champions. So pop up here because we’ve got a couple of gifts for you guys too. Naomi, thank you for being Sarah’s Maid of Honour and helping keep her calm and sane over the last few days. I know from experience that’s not an easy task. And thanks for organizing a hen do that didn’t involve male strippers or butlers in the buff or anything like that. Or at least, for doing an excellent job of hiding it from me. Thanks to the other Bridesmaids too, Kelly, Sam and Gabrielle. You all look gorgeous. Am I allowed to say that now? Just the once apparently. Well thanks for all your help and support anyway. We have a little something here for you too. Finally our sincere thanks to everyone else who helped make today run smoothly. I’d love to mention you all individually but I don’t want this to turn into one of those three-hour Oscar acceptance type speeches. Now my speech wouldn’t be complete, or indeed my life worth living, if I didn’t say a few words about my amazing new wife Sarah. And just to be completely clear when I say “new wife” that doesn’t mean there was a previous wife just that Sarah’s newly my wife. Anyone want to throw me a lifeline here? No? Okay. moving on then. As Mike mentioned, Sarah and I met while we were both at Bristol University. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the student bar trying to look intellectual with a glass of red wine and some book from my English Literature course when Sarah turned up with her mates in full rugby kit and proceeded to drink the bar dry to celebrate their latest victory. Honestly, you don’t know the meaning of love at first sight until you’ve watched a tall blonde down a pint of lager in 10 seconds and then burp her way through “Swing low, sweet chariot.” By the way, please don’t ask her if she can still do it, because she will try to prove she can. I think technically it was Sarah who made the first move that day by flicking a dry roasted peanut at my head. I took that as a sign to go over and chat her up, pulling out that classic line: “Did you just flick a peanut at my head?” Despite this intensely romantic first meeting, we didn’t actually get it together as a couple until after university when we both got jobs in London. We shared some of the same friends and would see each other from time to time at bars and the occasional party. For a long time I wasn’t even sure that she fancied me. She was always fun to be around but very much like most of the books on my English Lit course, I found her quite difficult to read. I was always on the verge of asking her out on a date but never plucked up the courage. Until one day, when Sarah and I were chatting on the balcony at some house part, she uttered these immortal words: “So, how do you feel about stepping out of the friend zone and into the fun zone?” And the rest, ladies and gentlemen, is history. By the way, with all this talk of Sarah being the super-confident one, I just want to make it clear that I’m still the one who wears the trousers in the relationship. Every other Wednesday for an hour and twice on my birthday. Anyway, I know you’re all keen to hear what Jason has to say about me in his speech - I certainly am - so I’m going to wrap this up shortly. But before I do, I just want to say a few words to this amazing lady beside me. Sarah, you look absolutely gorgeous today and I’m so proud to be able to call you my wife. I love you for your sense of adventure, your silly jokes, your kindness, your boundless generosity and most of all for being my best friend. You make me happy every single day and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you. As tradition dictates, before handing over to Jason – and be kind, Jason, be kind – I’d like to raise a toast to our wonderful Bridesmaids. So ladies and gentlemen, would you please join me in raising your glasses to… the Bridesmaids!

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In This Article

How to Write a Funny Wedding Speech

Funny speeches writing tips.

• Best Man Funny Wedding Speeches
• Maid Of Honor Wedding Speeches
• Funny Groom Wedding Speeches
• Funny Bride Wedding Speeches
• Funny Wedding Speeches For All Guests
• Wedding Party & Reception

Best Funny Wedding Speeches Examples You Can Use

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Funny wedding speeches – are the best way to keep the guests engaged and everyone relaxed and happy. “While you might face some challenges in writing the perfect variant, they are always worth it in the end. First, a funny wedding speech seems shorter than it actually is. Time flies by when the audience is having fun. Second, it’s more memorable. Think of the wedding speeches you can remember and it’s most likely going to be the one that had everyone laughing (or theone that lasted what seemed like for ever with no jokes).” , – Marc Blakewill , an experienced speech writer.

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Give your listeners a laugh or two with these hilarious and witty wedding speech samples, and the tips you need to make your own.

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It can seem daunting, but it’s worth spending the time and effort to make your wedding speech both heartfelt and funny. With the professional guidance of Marc Blakewill , an expert in crafting wedding speeches, you can navigate this with ease. Follow Marc’s detailed instructions, and you’ll confidently deliver a speech that resonates with sincerity and humor.

So, how best to write a funny wedding speech?

Tone and style

• Mix the heartfelt and comedic – even if you want a speech that is funny from top to bottom, do include the sincere and heartfelt. Think of it like setting off the colour of a precious stone in a ring. With a bit of sentiment, you get more comedic dazzle.
• Match it to your personality – if you’re not a natural joke-teller, don’t feel the need to have lots of one-liners in your speech. Focus more on light-hearted stories. Something that sounds like you will be more memorable and valued by the guests. It’s also easier to be “you”!
• Keep it as original as you can – avoid the temptation to use old jokes from the internet. They tend to stick out like sore thumbs. If you’re not confident in writing one of your own, using one near the top as an icebreaker is fine. Any more than that and you’re in danger of becoming a cliché-delivery system.

It’s time to treat the blank screen or piece of paper as your friend. It’s your speech and you have the freedom to craft it how you want. How wonderful is that! So, here are some pointers on how to generate funny wedding speech ideas.

• The location or venue – is there a joke about how far people have had to travel or how much difficulty they had finding the venue? Is the venue so posh and glamourous you thought you’d be refused entry?
• Topical – has there just been a national celebration or sporting triumph that this wedding totally eclipses? Even if it’s a small gathering, don’t be afraid to praise the occasion to the skies. Everyone loves to feel part of something special.
• How you met – was it at work, at college, in a bar? Bring this to life. What were your first impressions and have they been confirmed? If you’re Father of the Bride, you could talk about the day of your daughter’s birth. How you bravely dealt with all the pain and stress!
• How long have you known each other – if it’s a long time, why not draw a parallel with something historical? Has your friendship or relationship outlasted the terms of several presidents?
• Link the past to the present – did the bride or groom do something as a child or teenager that might explain their current career or lifestyle? Did the accident-prone kid become a nurse or doctor? Did the wannabe popstar end up as an accountant?
• Everyday things – does the groom or bride have any weird hobbies you could mention? Or maybe a funny turn-of-phrase? Do they insist on checking the front door is locked three.times before leaving their home? You don’t need outlandish stories. Their everyday life and everyday behaviour can be a great source of humour.
• Spoof marriage advice – if you’re the Best Man or Father of the Bride, you could give a few pieces of quick, silly advice. Personalise it to the couple and you’ll get instant recognition and laughs. Fun areas could include: too much time on the golf course; shopping like there’s no tomorrow and there’s no credit card bill; forgiving each other’s faults – the ones they can reveal now they’re married!
• The simpler the better – your speech really can be as simple as beginning, middle and end. Warm everyone up with some opening fun remarks or jokes, make a few thanks and welcomes (not needed if you’re the Best Man), tell your main stories then finish with some more sentimental moments and a toast.
• Link your stories – a speech that flows is more likely to get laughs. So, ensure your stories come in a natural order. This could be in time order or linked by theme e.g. group the groom’s silly little ways together, the bride’s changing childhood ambitions, etc.

Polishing it

• Writing is rewriting – the illusion of a great speech is that it came fully formed from the writer’s head. It didn’t. It was written then re-written. So, put your first draft away and come back to it at least one or two more times. You’ll spot the stuff that doesn’t work in a heartbeat.
• If you’re not sure of a line, lose it – be strict here. if you’re doubtful when reading it in the comfort of your living room, imagine how you’ll feel in front of an audience. The best speeches are the ones that have had dodgy lines surgically removed.
• Read it out loud – this is the best way to find out how your speech flows. Did it feel awkward jumping from one section to another? Tweak it. Did a line leave your breathless as you struggled to the end? Shorten it. Did a joke make your smile as you read it? Keep it! Your voice is a free resource, so use it.

What To Joke About In Wedding Speech?

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It can be quite tricky giving your wedding speech and knowing what to say and when. With funny wedding speeches, it is also important to know where to draw the line with jokes. Below you will find a few helpful tips.

• Select your target and build your premise around them. Funny wedding speeches may center on the strict dad, sweet daughter or straight-faced groom. The point is to keep the humor affectionate and leave heartwarming tributes towards the end.
• Put down everything that comes to mind when you think about your target in writing. It may be their taste in music, best foods, stand out qualities, weird dress sense or obsession.
• Turn these qualities into comedic characters. Is the groom obsessed with keeping tidy while the bride can’t account for one leg of her shoes? Will the groom do a double-take to the prices at flea markets while the bride spends like a Kardashian? Work with their contrasts.
• Tell the guests something they don’t already know about the couple. Did the groom win a ballet competition as a teenager? Did the bride do street rap in college? Genuinely amazing yet unlikely skills for such a sophisticated couple to make funny jokes.
• Exaggerate these happenings a little. If the couple is great or bad at a thing, then exaggerate a bit. For instance, if the groom is great at soccer, say something like, “his left leg has more coordination than New York’s traffic.”
• Involve the guests. You could start with a comical question that includes them or mention something funny about the bride or groom.
• Don’t forget the toast. You could insert a funny wedding quote here, would be all the better.

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If your role involves you giving a speech at a wedding, use these tips as a general guideline.

• Acknowledge the crowd: It is important to recognize your audience, make them a part of your speech.
• Backstories: While introducing yourself, you could chip in how you know the couple, if there’s a comical story there, you could add that too.
• Get the guests involved: Whether you’re giving funny wedding speeches as the best man or maid of honor, involving the guests is always a good idea. You could ask them a funny question that loosens them up.
• Take a walk down memory lane: Say something about the groom or even the couple. It might have been a double date or your first meeting, but anecdotes make the best jokes when they are pulled from the truth.
• Make fun of yourself: Be self-deprecating. If you are able to laugh at yourself, others will too.
• Poke fun at the couple: Tease the couple, but lightly. Be careful not to cross any lines, such as talking about any of their exes or anything that could be embarrassing.
• Make it quick: Try to keep your speech under seven minutes. Short is best, but not too short that you barely say a thing.
• End on a high note: Get the audience on their feet as you raise a toast to the couple.

Best Man Funny Wedding Speeches Examples

If you are the best man, chances are that you share a stronger bond with the husband than the wife. Hence, the funny wedding speeches best man gives are what we call the “guys talk”, which is more concentrated on the groom. He surely has more to say about the groom than the bride, but a good speech creates a balance. He must take notice and acknowledge the bride, letting her know how sweet her groom is.

“Afford me the grace to welcome everyone here today for coming all the way to celebrate Emerald and James. It’s an honor to stand in for my brother today as his best man, and my name is Joshua. My dad is quite fascinated with the letter “J”. Our other two brothers are Julius and Jefferson (shakes head). Before I start, I want to acknowledge that my brother can be quite a stunner when he cleans up. Just.look.at.him… And the bride? Who has seen a vision more beautiful? Okay, I have a bragging right, and that’s the fact that I brought this couple together. I think I deserve an extra flute of wine. It happened on one of our many adventures at fishing, we met this beauty, my new sister. My brother was so shy he pushed me to talk to her. I think he was fascinated that a lady fishes with such expertise. Well, we chatted, and I pulled my brother into the chat. We realized that she’s blunt, sweet, smart, and funny. For a laid-back brother, I knew she is the one that can bring him out of his shell. I told him there and then to go see her father. But I think I lost my brother in the process. He never called me to fish anymore, he went with her instead (sad face). Yet, I’m the happiest today (grins). She brings out the light in his eyes. From fishing to grape picking, and many months later, you’re permanently locked together. My brother, the calm level headed genius, selfless and serious, sweet and generous, finds a wife. Who would have thought? James never had time for these things, but see! I’d die a happy man. Both of you are meant for each other, and I pray the love that binds you never breaks. Be each other’s solace always, and no mountain will be too high. I love you, brother, and I adore you, my sister. Happy married life!”

Funny Quotes For Wedding Speeches From Maid Of Honor

The maid of honor and the bride share a great relationship that’s why she snagged the MOH spot. So, we are in for one of the most hilarious wedding speeches because there’s a lot to tell. From growing up to going through life and all the escapades, the maid of honor speech is a funny yet emotional one.

The maid of honor uses every information and public worthy stories at her disposal to pay tribute to the bride. She also goes ahead to mention the groom to understand his luck, even as she makes the guests laugh. See the perfect example below.

“It’s my sincere pleasure to welcome everyone here today. In case you don’t know me, I’m Mackenzie, the maid of honor and bride’s best friend. But I know practically everyone here today. So, I and my friend, the bride (Emerald) made a pact many years ago that we’d be each other’s maid of honor. She said even if we were pregnant and ready to pop, we’d still fill that slot for each other (smiles). Well, here I am today, after many years fulfilling that duty, because that sweet man swept her off her feet. In truth, I don’t know how I and Emerald remain, friends since we met in college. Our meeting is a story for another day. On many occasions, she has left me at the market to go back home, because she simply hates the market. Then I get back home stressed after doing a good deed of handling both our shopping. But she burns my hands with a spoon because I want to pick one slice of beef as she cooks… So much for appreciation. Well, she’s the cook between the two of us anyway. But she compensates with some sweetness. She doesn’t ever want to see me sad, she’d give me a million slices of beef instead. All the fun times we’ve shared as we comfort each other by visiting our favorite snack spot. Times we’ve shared heartfelt talks amidst laughter while munching chips as we watch that your program into the night. I don’t know how I survived to watch that stuff. Yet, you’re everything Emerald, everything and more. Like your name, you’re loyal, peaceful, faithful, balance and love unconditionally. That I am resilient, selfless, upright and emphatic is because of you. I hope you take these qualities even as you forge on in life. I’m sure that you’ll have a successful love life and domestic bliss like your name symbolizes. I love you bestie, you don’t know how much. James (groom), you’ve found a treasure in her, I tell you. Kindly make sure you wipe the kitchen work table clean after use because if she sees it dirty, you don’t want to find out… Remember, for better or worse doesn’t mean you should hurt each other. It means you’ll hold on to each other no matter what life throws at you. Hold steadfast unto each other. Today, I wish you life’s best, and I send you forth with all my Love.”

Funny Grooms Wedding Speeches

Pass around the tissue box guys, because a well thought out groom speech will get you teary. How so? A lot of men don’t do the emotional thing, because they come across as hardcore. But watching a man look at his bride with so much love in his eyes, saying such sweet things about them… Ah!

He talks about his search, possibly many disappointments, love at first sight, or unlikely circumstances to meeting her. Then he injects humor in his speech. Maybe their first date, things they do together, etc. Everyone smiles through their tears. See an amazing template example.

“Let me start by welcoming everyone to this blissful occasion of my wedding. If you’re wondering why I’m nervous… Well, I’m the groom, and the bills for one makes me nervous. We just love you all so much and wish you shared in our day, that we made a long guest list. That’s some bill we raked. Again, Emerald says I don’t listen, so I’m being very careful with what I say right now. I don’t want to spend my first day of married life in the dog house. But you see, I have a beautiful bride, so it’s enough to calm me. Talking about beauty, Emerald is beautiful, both in and out. And I’d say I’m the luckiest and most blessed man on the planet. I mean, who’d spill his drink on a siren, without getting a slap? I did as I was busy looking at this vision in red on the 15th of November 2010. She just smiled and said she gets that all the time, and that’s how we met. She’s also very smart, I can’t get one over her. Her brain has a timer or something because she never forgets. If I tell her to wake me in 20 minutes, I get woken at exactly that time, even if she also went to sleep. Those are the times I want to cry because can’t she just forget?! Yet, that’s one quality that makes her a force to reckon. She pushes me to be better, obsessed with time management that my life has seen a drastic change. My friends are even shocked that I made it early to my wedding — the emerald effect. How I love this woman, she complements me perfectly. I want to thank her for bringing more light into my life. I also want to thank my parent’s in-law for breeding such queen. Yes, she’s regal. They did perfect! And my parents, thank you for helping me spot gold and treasuring it. You remain idols. To everyone else, thank you for making today great and unforgettable.”

Funny Wedding Speeches From The Bride

We are halfway through the tissue box at this time because the bride is all blush and giggles — with starry eyes as she gives her speech. As a bride, your speech will be an emotional one, so a lot of humor is quite needed for a perfect balance.

You’ll talk about you and your journey to being Mrs. You’d touch on what makes you tick and the qualities that make your groom the perfect one. From these qualities, you’d make funny wedding speeches that will get your guests laughing. For some help with bride speech, we’ve given an example below.

“It is common knowledge that I find it hard to keep quiet. Well, today is my day and it won’t be an exception. So, first, let me welcome everyone that has come to share in I and James’s special day. I hope you feel as much love as I’m feeling now. Also, I would have treasured the presence of my grandma today, but I know she’s proud of me. Gran, I know you can see me from up there, I’m a big girl now (teary smile). So, permit me, but can you see my man? Call me conceited, but he’s such a hunk! I’ve had the blessing of being with this man for 5 years, and today I can call him husband (blushes). I want to thank him for being who he is. Sweet, loving, smart, meticulous and selfless. James loves me right and honors me always, except when he’s getting orange seedlings stuck in the blender. And pray to tell why he’d always fall asleep when we are watching my favorite show? But you see, that’s one of the things I love about him. Talk about support, even when it’s inconvenient for him. Babe, you challenge me and push me to be better with your lifestyle. I love you anyhow, warts and all. James has made my life fun and meaningful. I also want to thank persons who have made today a success. From my parent’s in-law that raised such fine young man, to my parents, the dream of all children. I also want to appreciate everyone that helped put today together. May you experience love so true and so pure. I love you all.”

Funny Wedding Speeches Examples For All Guests

It is within etiquette that a wedding speech must focus on the couple while talking great about them. Funny wedding speeches even do much better, because infusing jokes in your speech gets more attention. Weddings are already emotional as it is, so we’d consider these kinds of speeches as the icebreakers.

The jokes you throw on the couple depends on the relationship you share. It also depends on how much you know them, and what they can take. Great funny wedding speech brings on laughter without it going south. If you need inspiration, see some funny wedding speeches examples below.

By Chris Haywood

“Can I start my speech by welcoming the guests? Today, we are quite surrounded by most of the friends and family that have been important to us during our lives. Some have traveled thousands of miles, just to be here today. On behalf of Owen, Patrick and Bonney, Hazel and I – We welcome you all and thank you sincerely for sharing this special day with us. As about half of you will know, this is my second father-of-the-bride speech in less than a year. To misquote Oscar Wilde from “The Importance of Being Ernest” – to lose one daughter may be well considered unlucky. To lose two is careless! Well, I guess that’s OK – because my being careless is how they came to be here in the first place. Making the father of the bride’s speech, I feel a bit like a Sheik walking into his harem for the first time. I know what I’ve got to do, I just don’t know where to start. You will all be quite pleased to learn that my speech will be every bit as good as last time. In fact, my side of the family will probably remember great chunks of it! Not really, although I am following the same format. This means it will probably start badly, sag in the middle with long silences, and then trail off into a lot of incoherent rambling. To be honest, I did try to memorize this speech – but forgive me if I resort to my notes every 5 seconds. I asked for an autocue to be set up in front of me. Apparently, the wedding budget doesn’t stretch that far… and neither does my eyesight. Patrick, we are quite delighted to welcome you into the family. By now, you must be wondering what on earth you have let yourself in for. I want you to know that Hazel and I took it to you instantly. You are a kind and considerate man who deserves a good wife. Thank goodness you married Bonney before you found one! I am only kidding, of course. There is nothing in the world to match the thrill of seeing your first child born. Bonney was a beautiful baby. She still is beautiful – in every sense of the word – and she has continued to fill our lives with happiness and pride. Everyone knows that Bon is a rolling stone – and couldn’t wait to leave home and find new adventures at University. Since then she has made many firm friends, some of whom are decidedly odd – but I’ll say no more about that because most of the odd ones seem to be here today. Now, where was I? Patrick… I expect you may have noticed Pat’s getting on a bit – a few grey hairs already – so it’s taken him some time to find his Miss Right. In fact, his best man tells me he once sent his picture off to a Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back, with a note saying they weren’t that lonely! Patrick is a rugby player – or so I am told. I took the time to ask some of his mates how good he was, where his best position was. To cut a long story short, he seems to be terrible in every position! I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere… but never mind. I have to say that Bonney and Patrick are extremely well suited, aren’t they? They’re happy and they love each other. That should be enough to see them through life together. It has been well said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership. Whoever said that knows nothing about women and even less about fractions. I asked Pat recently what he was looking for in marriage. He said love, happiness and eventually a family. I asked Bon the same question. She replied “A coffee percolator.” She said a “perky copulator” but I knew what she meant… As you all know, fathers of the bride get to make the first speech. To be honest with you, it’s a bit like being invited to sleep with the Queen Mother. It’s a great honor – but you don’t want to do it! And what about the bridesmaids? Didn’t they look lovely, in the church? Having seen all the Ushers, I thought for a minute I’d accidentally wandered onto the set of “Seven Brides for seven brothers”. I started planning this speech a month ago. And you must feel like I’ve been delivering it equally as long. And I haven’t quite finished yet. Because my next toast is to the bride and groom. This reminds me of the wedding I once went to where the two of the guests were a minister and a priest. When the priest was offered a drink for the toast he said: “I’ll have a large whiskey please”. When the minister was also offered the same, he said “No thanks. I’d rather go with a scarlet woman than touch the demon alcohol”. The priest promptly put his whiskey back on the tray and said: “I didn’t know there was a choice!” Now I don’t want to offend anybody, so if there’s a priest or a minister present, I apologize. And if there’s a scarlet woman here, I’ll meet you in the bar in 10 minutes! Thank you for your indulgence. Without further delay, I’ll ask you to join me in a toast to my beautiful daughter, the bride, and her handsome husband, the groom.”

By John Gallagher

“Good evening everyone, for those of you that don’t know me, my name is John and I’m Katie’s dad. I am delighted to welcome you here tonight to celebrate the Marriage of Katie and Simon. I know that many of you have traveled many thousands of Kilometers to be here in Umea Umio, Sweden, with us today. On behalf of Pippa, Inga, Borje, and myself; I would like to welcome you all here today to help celebrate the marriage of Katie and Simon. I apologize if the accent is difficult for any of you but translators throughout the audience will help and the speech will be posted at the rear of the room later with copies on the internet tomorrow!! Also, I would like to thank the Priest, Inga, for the lovely service in the most beautiful church. Thank you to her boss for the good weather! I’d like to offer my sincere thanks and appreciation to all those who have worked so hard and long to help put this day together, a day which, I am sure, Katie and Simon will cherish for the remainder of their lives together. Standing here tonight reminded me of a joke. Two TV aerials met on a roof, they fell in love and eventually married. The wedding was pretty average but the reception was brilliant. OK, no more jokes!! Katie this is that point in time that every daughter fears…..what is Daddy going to talk about….is he going to tell about the time when…??!! I’m not going to tell of any of those times, but rather, I’m going to say & quote, thank you & quote! You see the one thought I’ve always been able to picture was that of today when you and I shared our little glance at one another as we were ready to start our walk down the aisle. As it was with my daughter Lucy and as it will be with my daughter Gemma, it has always been with me and always will be. I feel extremely lucky and humble in being able to say I have five great children and one special grandchild and to have them all here together gives me a sense of pride. Simon, I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you into the family, but I’m sure you know that you have been welcome since that first day I met you at my house. Every Father hopes his daughter will find a smart, reliable, sensible, and considerate young man so I have to say, I’m a contented father, as I am delighted to see my daughter looking so happy and well today. It is a real pleasure Simon, to welcome you into our family. Many things go into making a marriage happy: Love, fidelity, trust, someone who will listen, persistence and patience, tolerance and forbearance, tenacity and stamina, forgiveness or failing that, a defective memory. It also helps if the husband is always prepared to take the blame! I’d just like to offer a few words of advice: Katie – If you want something from Simon, just ask for it. Don’t forget he’s a man and hints don’t work. Lastly, always remember, as a great philosopher once said, a man who gives in when he is wrong is wise. Whilst a man who gives in when he is right is married.”

Don’t hesitate to write the funny wedding speeches you need for that special day. Your nerves won’t get the best of you if you know what to say. Follow this well prepared guideline and are sure to be in comical wedding speech heaven in no time.

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How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech

It’s the day you’ve been waiting for all your life. You’ve married your beautiful bride, tucked into the delicious food, and now all that is left to do is relax before the evening reception. Wait, don’t forget about your speech!

For many of us, speaking in front of a room full of people is probably pretty nerve wracking. After the act of actually getting married, giving the Groom speech is probably the second most nerve-wracking thing every man has to face on his wedding day, and it’s easy to see why.

To help you out, we’ve talked to some industry professionals to get their expert advice. Below, we have outlined everything you need to mention in order to make your speech a hit.

The Structure

Thank your guests.

Coming to a wedding is a big expense for everyone involved. Your guests pay for a good amount of petrol (or even flights), a hotel room, and your gift. Therefore, it is important you make sure they know they’re appreciated.

The first way you can do this in your speech is by thanking them. On the other hand, if you make your whole speech relatively short, they can get on with drinking and dancing. Trust me, everyone will appreciate this!

Toast absent friends

Toast to those who couldn’t make it, as well as those who are no longer alive. All guests should be thanked, even ones who are not there. Don’t be afraid to show your sensitive side here. It’s a nice touch and it will definitely be appreciated.

Big up your best man and your ushers

Your best man has been with you every step of the way with this wedding, so thank him for this. Don’t forget your ushers, either. Your boys have done you a big favour by playing a part in your wedding day (even if all they did was roll out of bed and put on a nice suit), so don’t be afraid inject a little bromance in your speech.

And, of course, make some jokes at their expense. After mentioning deceased friends and relatives, this is a good time to lighten the mood. Furthermore, your best man probably mentioned some embarrassing anecdotes about you in his speech, so get him back!

Just remember this speech isn’t all about you and your mates

“But please do this briefly,” says Seb of  Great Speech Writing . “One regular complaint from wedding guests is that they came to listen to stories about the bride and groom, not the groom and his best man. Don’t forget who you are marrying and why you have asked people to come and celebrate.”

Don’t forget everyone else. Tradition dictates you mention the bridesmaids and flower girls as well. They played a massive role in the day and have likely also acted as important support for your new wife. Especially if your wife isn’t speaking, make sure they know they are appreciated.

Others who have lent a helping hand

This is not school speech day; however, you should still acknowledge those who’ve made your day the wonderful occasion it’s been. For example, consider the person who set you up with your spouse, or the venue manager. If you haven’t given them a nod yet, do so here.

Be careful of rattling off a list like an Oscars speech, though. “It is important to thank those people who have helped you on the way to this special day but there is always a risk of simply standing there and reading a list of people to whom you wish to show your appreciation,” says Kevin of  Speeches For You .

Seb of Great Speech Writing agrees. “You don’t want you speech to become a long list of thank yous,” he points out. So just keep it to the really vital people. Everyone else can get a thank you note.

Your new in-laws and your own parents

This is your moment to gain some serious credit with your new wife’s parents, so don’t throw it away. Thank them for all they’ve done. If they paid for the wedding, sing their praises to the rafters. Thank them for raising the woman of your dreams and for accepting you into the family. And, even if they haven’t quite accepted you yet, that doesn’t matter right now! Get your now legally-binding relationship with them off to the right start nevertheless and make them feel appreciated.

When it comes to your mum and dad, only you know what to say. They raised you and, hopefully, have supported you through good times and bad, so make sure they feel the love.

Last, but absolutely never least, your new wife is the star of the show on your wedding day. Therefore, make sure the longest and most heartfelt part of your speech is all about her. It’s cliché, yes, but if you don’t mention how beautiful she is, how lucky you are, and how you’re punching well above your weight with her, you won’t have done your job with your speech.

Then, talk about your relationship in as genuine and real a way as you can muster. If you both have a good sense of humour and you like joking around, let that come through here. But, nothing is worse than a groom who spends his speech reciting bad one-liners he found on the internet.

If you do tell some jokes or a funny story about your new wife, think hard about what tales to go for. Some jokes are best left just between you two. That being said, a couple of funny and endearing stories can go a long way.

Make your speech memorable for all the right reasons  

It’s up to you to break the ice, but keep it simple.

“Weddings always have a large mix of people and not many know one another,” Kevin of Speeches for You says. “You and your wife will probably be the only people who know everyone in the room. Including some shared memories will have guests talking to each other after the meal and will make for a much more pleasant atmosphere in the evening.”

Maybe you’re the type of guy who doesn’t really wear his heart on his sleeve, and for whom saying a lot of cheesy, lovey things during your speech would feel alien. In that case, don’t force it. It’ll feel and look awkward and disingenuous.

Bear in mind that the most important thing during this part of your speech is to stay true to yourself and to represent your relationship honestly and with love, and no one can dictate to you how to do that.

Other things to bear in mind

This part of your day doesn’t have to be scary if you don’t let it be. As long as you’ve written a speech that is authentic to you and your relationship, you really can’t go wrong. Be as funny or as serious as you typically are in your everyday life; forcing either one will make for a boring or robotic speech that will be forgettable or even embarrassing.

Timing is key

When it comes to timing, try to keep it to 5-10 minutes. According to Seb, as much as your guests love that you’re happy and in love, they’re mainly there to party. And, before you think that’s untrue or harsh, remember the last time you sat through speeches at a wedding. As for the toasts, keep it down to two; one to the bridesmaids and one to your new wife. Any more than that and your speech could turn into a drinking game.

And if you are left totally blank? “Just remember to thank the parents, the best man for his help, and the guests for coming, and say how beautiful your wife is,” Seb says. That’ll guarantee you say what needs to be said with as little drama as possible!

So, go ahead and write an amazing speech (or ask for help from Seb or Kevin). Wow your guests and, more importantly, your new spouse. We also have speech writing advice for the Father of the Bride and the Best Man . Good luck.

2 thoughts on “ How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech ”

Crucially – don’t get too tied down by ‘the speech rules’ or traditional etiquette. Other than keeping the speech no longer than ten minutes and thanking the important people – the speech is yours to have fun with.

Gray is a well known colour for the grooms. So, this colour is elegant. I love that style thanks.

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30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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Groom speech jokes - 101 winners

Displaying 1 to 10 of 101 classic groom speech jokes

I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married man’s life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother in-law and not be interrupted … I may be here sometime.

Add to clipboard »

Displaying 1 of 30 examples »

Thank you for all your wonderful gifts. I can’t tell you how much they mean to us – but I should have a better idea after the honeymoon, once eBay’s has worked its magic.

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - A wedding speech is one of those rare occasions when you get the opportunity to publicly say how you feel about the people you really care about. So I’m going to devote the next couple of minutes paying tribute to some very special people indeed. Starting with the bar staff …

Displaying 1 of 53 examples »

I’d like to thank you all for coming. You’re all looking wonderful tonight. I’ve realised for the first time that I actually have some well-dressed, good-looking family and friends. Oh, no, wait, those ones are Linda’s family and friends.

First of all, I’d like to explain to some of the younger guests that just because the bride left the church with a different man to the one she arrived with, it doesn’t mean she changed her mind.

Displaying 1 of 5 examples »

Linda wanted everything to look just perfect today, and if you think I seem a little different to normal, you’d be right. I am in fact a 25-year-old model playing the part of Linda’s husband.

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. I had prepared a superb speech for you today, but unfortunately, now that I am married … I’ve been told to read this one instead.

Displaying 1 of 80 examples »

Before we proceed I must make a very sad announcement which I hope doesn’t taint these celebrations. I’m sorry to say that Linda and I are no longer engaged.

I feel very fortunate to have married Linda. None of you will know this, but I've actually been congratulated already. 'Paul,' my father said to me, 'Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you've ever done.' Fitting words, I thought, as I set off for my stag night.

Displaying 1 of 18 examples »

Right, I’d just like to start by laying down a couple of rules. Firstly, this is my day, so no heckling please – this includes the wife. And secondly, if you do have a mobile phone…please, leave it switched on; keep yourselves entertained. I think if you keep your spirits high and your expectations low, everyone will be happy.

I’ve been feeling quite nervous about giving this speech for some time. But I’m pleased to say last night I slept like a baby – I woke up every two hours, crying my eyes out.

Displaying 1 of 14 examples »

By now, Linda knows me quite well. I use 'quite' advisedly because if she knew me 'well' we may not be here today.

Now I know I’m not the first bridegroom to be a little anxious on his wedding day, but actually since it started I’ve felt pretty relaxed, because Linda’s so organised she’s thought of everything. She arranged for the car to take me to the church, collected my suit from the hire shop and worked all hours of last night to write my speech. Darling – can I have it now, please?

Displaying 1 of 20 examples »

Since Linda and I have been together, a lot of guys ask how I could woo such a beautiful, intelligent woman. It’s very simple: spoil them rotten, let them know you’ll give them the finer things in life, and make sure you’re as witty and as cultured as your surroundings. On our very first date I took Linda to a flashy restaurant. I won't tell you where, as it's a special place for us, but I will tell you that Linda first melted into my arms with the line, ‘If you were on the menu here, you would be a McGorgeous!’

Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my father in-law is presented with the final bill.

Displaying 1 of 22 examples »

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to start by thanking everyone here for sharing our wedding day with us. I’d also like to thank those few that couldn’t be here today, because you've saved us a fortune.

When it comes to talking about my bride's good points, where do I start? She’s intelligent, generous, hard working, popular and a brilliant judge of character.

Displaying 1 of 15 examples »

Linda’s been good for me. Since meeting her I’ve been motivated to change career, to lose weight, to drink less. And she supported me through all those failures.

Today is rightly the happiest day of my life, and it will continue to be a date that I will cherish and celebrate as each year passes. And to ensure that I always remember this date as my special anniversary… just once, I shall forget it.

Displaying 1 of 17 examples »

Good evening everyone. The wife and I are delighted that you were able to come to our wedding. I can’t imagine a happier way to start married life than in this wonderful venue with our family and friends around us. OK, so I can, but it would have to be an exceptionally big Jacuzzi.

Nailing Your Groom Speech

When it comes to writing a groom speech, most blokes panic and dive headfirst into googling speech etiquette and wedding gags.

This result is the usual fodder; a speech that’s clichéd, boring, and just a bit blah. 

You can do better. And, we’re here to help with our groom speech advice. 

The Speechy team are TV scriptwriters by trade and our advice has featured everywhere from The New York Times  to  The Times . And, as the authors of ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ and the only speech experts invited on to BBC Sounds ‘Best Men’ podcast with Jason Manford we have all the advice to deliver a great speech on the big day. 

* Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our  groom template ,  speech edit, or  bespoke service . Or, work with our new AI-powered team member – SpeechyAI!

Groom Speech Etiquette

The first rule of groom speech etiquette is – don’t get tied down with it. A lot of it’s outdated, blooming dull, and completely unnecessary. 

There’s no need to address your friends and family as ‘ladies and gentlemen’ (chances are they’re not), and you don’t need to toast the bridesmaids (though it is essential you say they’re gorgeous even if they’re already on their second bottle of Pinot).

Modern speech etiquette just comes down to common sense.

Don’t get so worried about thanking folk, that you forget what you’re actually meant to be doing. The bulk of your speech should not be thanking people but paying a once-in-a-lifetime tribute to your new wife! 

(And if you’re marrying a bloke, check out our gay groom etiquette guide ).

1. So, who does the groom thank?

The thank yous are, of course, important. Your marriage is frankly doomed if you forget to thank your mother-in-law.

The groom traditionally thanks;

• everyone for coming
• his in-laws
• his parents
• his best man & ushers
• the maid of honour & bridesmaids

As well the the obvious thank yous, there may be others you want to mention (children from previous relationships?) but resist the urge to read out half the guest list. Nothing kills off a groom speech quicker than a tedious thank you list.

Old school etiquette guides (like  Debretts ) suggest a groom’s first duty should be to thank the father of the bride (or equivalent) for his speech. Feel free to pay an ad hoc, ad-libbed thank you but make this a natural response as opposed to scripting a generic thanks. Ideally, pick up on something he’s said and have fun with it. 

Keep each individual thanks to less than 50 words and include a sense of fun throughout. Make the thank yous specific and personal – so rather than thanking your in-laws for bringing up such a wonderful daughter, thank them for sharing their wine collection with you. Getting personal not only makes the thank yous more meaningful, but entertaining too. 

Finally, don’t bother thanking anyone you’ve paid. No matter how lovely the venue staff or how much the wedding planner may have done, you shouldn’t waste your wordcount on people you’ve paid. 

2. How does a groom pay tribute to absent friends & the dearly departed? 

No need to mention any of your friends or family who haven’t been able to make it (unless they’re watching online). 

When it comes to the ‘dearly departed’ , this depends on how raw the emotions are. 

If it’s a parent or someone very close to you has recently died, we advise paying a meaningful tribute to them in the week leading up to the wedding. This is so the disappointment of them not being there on the big day, has already been acknowledged. Even if it’s just a casual dinner with family or a walk to one of their favourite spots with your partner, let the tears flow before you’re standing up, delivering your speech in front of everyone. 

On the day, be careful not to turn your speech into a eulogy. Instead, pay a tribute to your loved one by putting a smile on everyone’s face. 

Could the guests join you in a toast to your father by drinking his favourite malt whisky? Or could you point out the bride’s bouquet was made from her gran’s favourite flowers?

Our advice is keep it short, sweet and script it towards the end of your speech. So many grooms make the mistake of starting their speech when a toast to the ‘dearly departed’ but that’s often hard to recover from. 

3. Does the groom toast the bridesmaids? 

In the bad, old days, the groom was expected to conclude his speech with a toast to the bridesmaids. These days, that seems an odd idea. The groom certainly needs to thank the bride’s wedding-sidekicks (unless she’s giving a speech and thanking them herself), but that doesn’t need to be the climax of your speech.

At Speechy, we normally include a tribute to the bridesmaids just before the ushers’ & best man’s. Like all thank yous, try to say more than the usual wedding-platitudes and instead, give a sense of their individual or tribal character.  Once you’ve thanked the bride-squad, you don’t need to ask people to raise a glass or join you in an official ‘toast’.

Really, the only times you should ask people to raise a glass is at the end of your speech ( your final toast ) and in tribute to the dearly departed.  The stand-up, sit-down routine of including too many toasts can feel a bit ridiculous.

Your final toast should be directed towards your wife and your future life together. Read on to see how you can make that truly personal. 

4. Should the groom hand out gifts? 

Sure, the mums love a nice bouquet of flowers but let’s not make a big deal about it. And, certainly don’t deliver them during your speech!

We recommend giving any gifts earlier in the day (it’s more intimate and meaningful). Or, simply say in the speech that you’ll be ‘personally handing the gifts out later’ . This ensures the gift-giving doesn’t disrupt the flow of your speech and the guests don’t get distracted. 

5. How does the groom thank divorced parents? 

Tactfully. 

This will depend on, not just on your relationship with your parents (and, potentially, their other halves), but also their relationship with each other. 

Is there any chance your mum will start heckling if you wax too lyrical about your dad? 

Hopefully, any bad feeling can be put aside for the day but be sure to thank parents equally. If their new partners have been in your life for some time, don’t feel shy of mentioning them too. Divorced parents aren’t anything unusual. 

6. How does a groom address an international guestlist? 

Weddings with an international guestlist, where English isn’t everyone’s first language, are becoming more common. 

Some couples opt to recruit an interpreter to ensure no one misses out, but in our experience, this makes the speeches overly long and loses a speech’s natural charm and humour. 

What we suggest is having a few well-rehearsed lines where you attempt to address your international guests in their native tongue. It’s a chance to establish a connection, and also add a bit more humour to your speech. 

Make Your Groom Speech Funny

All speeches should be funny. No one’s expecting a stand-up routine but try to get everyone chuckling within the first 20 secs. It relaxes everyone, including you.

As you’ll see, being funny isn’t about finding jokes on the internet – it’s about making witty observations about your partner, yourself and your relationship.

Whatever you do – avoid Groom Speech ‘Jokes’ . You want to make your guests laugh, not groan. 

• ‘Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t have been the same… but it would have been cheaper.’
• ‘Let me tell you that is not the first time today I have risen from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand.’ And so on . . .

Basically, if the joke could be used in someone else’s wedding speech, it probably shouldn’t be in yours.

It might seem obvious that your wedding speech needs a good story in it but a lot of wedding speeches don’t .

They should.

Neuroscientists have discovered that our brains light up when we hear stories. It seems humans are programmed to be empathic; we’re literally designed to be curious about other people.

Finding cracking anecdotes (short stories) is a crucial part of creating a great speech. A story doesn’t need to be long. It doesn’t need to be extraordinary. It just has to reveal something about you as a couple and make folk laugh.

The cornerstones of any relationship are likely to be interesting and here’s a list of the classic ‘love stories’ to consider…  

• How you met
• The first date
• Meeting the parents
• Moving in together
• When you discovered they weren’t actually perfect
• Any embarrassing anecdotes
• Any challenges you’ve overcome together 
• Any classic stories that you’ve enjoyed telling friends and that still make you laugh

Sometimes you need a few prompts to get that brain working, like their online profile that claimed a passion for history but didn’t quite reveal this ‘interest’ would involve you having to visit military museums in every town and country you go to with them.

See if you can hunt down…

• Your online dating profiles (if you met there).
• If you met at work, do you still have your contract or job description? It could it be used for comedy purposes.
• If you’re childhood sweethearts, hunt out the school reports.
• And, obviously, look back at your photos through the years. This will inevitably trigger memories but don’t consider using them as part of your speech.

Speechy’s favourite brand of comedy is based on observation. It’s also the easiest to master.

Comedians have a skilled eye when it comes to noticing the strange things in life that we take for granted but it’s often just about taking the time to look.

Everyone in this world is weird in their very own way, so get a mirror and hold it up to your relationship. Question your behaviour, habits and unwritten rules. Look at the everyday frustrations and recurring issues.

We can all relate to other people’s relationships, and people appreciate it if you talk honestly about yours. Okay, not everyone’s partners put sweet chilli sauce on their toast for breakfast but everyone can appreciate having a partner with weird habits.

To make observational humour work, the trick is to be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them.

The callback is where you plant a story or a piece of info at the start of the speech, possibly as a throwaway line, and then reference it later on. 

Watch professional comedians on stage and you’ll see nearly all of them deploy the technique. It’s not only funny, it’s a technique that makes you look smart. Win-win. 

For example, share that story where you accidentally stapled your shoe to the floor when you renovated your first house together. Later, conclude your speech by saying ‘…I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, even if I do have to staple your shoes to the floor to make sure you’re by my side forever more.’

The callback is basically establishing an inside joke that everyone is part of.

To make it work

• Plant something funny, and crucially, memorable in the first third of your speech.
• Then simple refer to it towards the end of your speech.

Voila. You’ve become a comedy pro.

Check out some  groom speech videos  we’ve collated, or have a read of  Boris Johnson’s wedding speech  as imagined by the Speechy Team. It will give you an idea of how professional comedy writers craft humorous lines.

Read our example groom speeches and a groom speech written by SpeechyAI . 

Of course, if all this advice has done nothing but convince you, you need help – then jump straight to  all the different ways the Speechy team can help you , including  SpeechyAI ; a genius tool we’ve built that’s guaranteed to help you develop unique and hilarious lines. Honestly, it’s bloody good. 

How to Write & Deliver Your Groom Speech

Here are the basic rules.

If you’re reading this, probably now. 

Don’t wait for divine inspiration to strike. It rarely does. 

We advise sitting down at least two months before the big day and committing pen to paper (or at least, turn off your notifications and type a few hundreds words). 

Once you start, it gets easier. Even when you’re not sitting in front of the laptop, once you’ve genuinely engaged your brain in the process of speechwriting, it will work on a subconscious level for you. You’ll find when you get back to the screen, you’ll have plenty more ideas. 

And, of course, it’s always easier improving a speech than it is starting one. 

Speechy generally advise…

• Hello, welcome & a laugh
• The Speech-Meat – Where you tell a few great stories that give an insight into your relationship and why you love your new spouse as much as you do. 
• Acknowledgement of the dearly departed (if necessary)
• A final more romantic tribute to your wife
• A toast to your wife / your future life together 

This structure may be different to most speeches you’ve heard. Many speakers automatically start with the thank yous but, as important as they may be, they are not what really interests your guests.

Get to the thank yous once you’ve already hooked everyone in. 

Don’t script a thank you to the previous speaker as the opening to your speech. Make this thank you a spontaneous ad lib before you obviously start delivering your speech. This makes the thank you sound like a genuine, heartfelt reaction rather than a ‘tick-box’ courtesy.

We see lots of grooms fill the first 30 seconds of their speech with absolute nonsense. Talking about guests traveling far. What a special occasion it is. Pure cut-and-paste jobs.

Start by trying to get a laugh early 

“Greetings, party people! They told me marriage is all about compromise. Well, I’ve already compromised my ability to choose what I wear for the rest of my life.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the [your last name] Comedy Club! I’ll be your stand-up comedian for the evening, and [spouse’s name] is my favorite heckler.”

• “Hello, world-changers! Today, [spouse’s name] and I embark on a journey filled with love, laughter, and a joint bank account. Pray for us.”
• “Good evening, everybody! Today, I’ve officially joined the ‘Happily Ever After’ club. Membership fee: my independence. Benefits: endless love and an occasional ‘Yes, dear.'”

Every word should count, so you could consider forgetting the ‘hellos’ altogether. The trick is to make the opening personal. 

ALTERNATIVE OPENINGS

• Jump right in. ‘So we’ve finally done it. Sophie has agreed to put up with mefor the rest of her life and I’ve got that in writing.’
• Short and snappy.   ‘Well, let’s start with the elephant in the room. Why has the gorgeous bride just married a bright orange lad from Croydon who can’t spell?’
• Start with a story. ‘Let me tell you a story… when I first saw Lucy, sitting in the bar, reading a book in the middle of the Saturday night chaos, I knew I had to speak to her. Only she was too absorbed in his John Grisham to notice me.’

A speech theme is your narrative hook. 

Rather than just a list of anecdotes and thanks yous, your speech should tell a story.

Yes, it’s made up of lots of different elements but it needs to hook people in from the beginning, establish a theme and carry that through to an almighty climax.

One basic example might be a teacher who talks about the lessons his wife has taught – the good, the bad and the ability to now name the Kardashians.

Another theme might be the groom’s interpretation of his marriage vows (e.g. man flu does indeed count as ‘sickness’).

Turning your speech into a story makes it easy to follow and entertaining. Find out #whatsyourstory

A heart-warming tribute to your partner should be the focus of your speech but every groom thinks his spouse is gorgeous, kind and generally amaaaaazing.

The only way for this to sound genuine is – prove, don’t tell. Resist too many adjectives and recount the anecdotes that show your partner’s qualities in action.

Cut the clichés and concentrate on what makes your loved one unique. Avoid words like ‘soulmate’ or ‘beautiful’, anything that’s overused.

Are they a library-lover, a technology fiend, a devoted foodie? Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows you ‘get them’ and her friends and family will love you for it.

ROMANCE DON’Ts

• Be generic – If your romantic lines could be substituted into a stranger’s wedding speech, well, you’re doing something wrong. Romance demands that you get personal.
• Be smug – Being married for a few hours does not grant you the right to be a smug-married yet. Remember there’s likely to be single people out there so resist the urge to suggest finding a life-partner is the only reason for living. You don’t want the bridesmaids crying before 5pm!
• Use meaningless clichés and platitudes – Seriously, ‘soulmate’ is a waste of your word count. What about ‘partner-in-crime’ instead?
• Overuse adjectives – Avoid using too many adjectives and prove , don’t tell. Use evidence to back up your claims.

ROMANCE DOs

Make sure you…

• Remember romance doesn’t need to be serious – You can deliver the sweetest lines with a smile on your face.
• Concentrate on what makes your partner unique – The most powerful way to be romantic is finding the qualities and quirks that make your partner truly unique.
• If you’re struggling for a killer line, get inspired by our Groom Speech Quotes . While plagiarism is never cool, quoting people who are cleverer & wittier than you, is legit. 

A good toast summarises the point of your speech.  It provides great storytelling symmetry and is a call to action for everyone present.

The toast itself needs to be succinct enough to propose it and people to second it. It’s essentially a contract, so be concise.

Examples of great groom toasts…  

“To my incredible bride, my partner in crime, and the one who manages to tolerate my terrible dance moves. Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter, and pretending not to notice when I sneak in extra snacks. Cheers!”

“As we dive into this marriage adventure, let’s raise our glasses to surviving my occasional snoring and her knack for finding the TV remote in the most mysterious places. May our love be as unbreakable as her ability to beat me at board games. Cheers!”

“To the love of my life, thank you for saying ‘I do’ despite witnessing my questionable fashion choices and the fact that I can never find matching socks. May our marriage be as enduring as my video game sessions and as exciting as finding pizza in the fridge when we thought it was all gone. Here’s to us!”

“In the spirit of wedded bliss, let’s toast to a lifetime of love, compromise, and navigating the dangerous territory of choosing the right side of the bed. May our marriage be as smooth as my hair never is and as full of surprises as her unexpected dance parties in the living room. Cheers to us!”

“To my beautiful bride, thank you for being the ‘better’ half, the one who always knows where we parked, and the expert in finding lost items, including my car keys. May our marriage be as rock-solid as your morning coffee routine and as fun as our impromptu karaoke nights. Here’s to love, laughter, and a lifetime of hilarious memories!”

A maximum of ten mins allowing for laughter and ad-libs. You might feel you have plenty to say but be strict with yourself.

Once you write your first draft, edit it down to half the length. We promise it will make it twice as good. No one ever watched a wedding speech and thought ‘if only it were longer’. It’s the same with jokes; they’re better if they’re punchy.

Ernest Hemingway said ‘The first draft of anything is shit’. This is both true and reassuring.

The edit-process might mean cutting some of your favourite bits but you need to wipe out the waffle and cut out the cliches. Lots of sites offer quick estimates of your speech duration based on your wordcount.

And, if you’re still struggling to make the brutal cuts necessary, remember to check out our Edit Service. We’re not shy about getting tucked in! 

A confident delivery is half the battle. Check the acoustics of the venue & get a mic if necessary (so many speeches are ruined simply because the guests can’t hear them).

Try to memorise the speech but don’t be afraid to use notes on the day (your brain will be scrambled).

Talk slower than feel natural (makes you sound more confident) & leave pauses for laughter (sometimes people need a moment to ‘get it’).

Keep your posture relaxed and remember everyone wants you to do well so make sure you smile. It’s scientifically proven to be infectious and scientists know stuff.

Read our Delivery Guide for more tips.

PRE-DELIVERY CHECKLIST

• Have a snack – An empty stomach isn’t good for nerves. It may be the last thing you fancy but stuff a handful of canapes down or have a Mars bar on hand.
• Don’t drink alcohol – Studies have shown even one glass of alcohol can reduce your public speaking skills. 
• Drink water – A glass of water a few minutes prior to speaking will ensure you don’t dry up.
• Look for friendly faces in the audience – And at different points of the room.

ON THE MIC CHECKLIST

• Stand up, breathe deep and smile.
• Remember your presenting principles.
• Laugh along – Sometimes people need the visual cue that what you’ve said is funny. (I know, people are idiots). And, as we know, laughter is infectious so make sure you exploit it!
• If you’re being filmed – see the camera as an extra friend. It works really well when you come to watch it back.
• Be prepared for audience interaction. It’s unlikely you’ll get hecklers but some people like to ‘get involved’. It’s good to have a few witty responses in your back pocket. For example…
• (If it’s a free bar) ‘And that’s why the free bar ends after the first drink…’
• (If it’s not a free bar) ‘And that’s why you don’t get a free bar…’
• ‘There are some RSVPs you read with tears in your eyes.’

Speech Do's

Check with your partner.

If they aren’t giving a speech then you’re speaking on behalf of them too. If nothing else, make sure they’re happy with your thank you list.

Make the thanks yous meaningful

Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life (even if it is just an appreciation on malt whiskeys).

Make your toast unique

Drink to ‘a lifetime of dancing on tables’ or consider a #Tequilatoast

Practise your speech and film it on your phone

Watch it back, promise yourself you’ll do something about your gut and spot where your speech can be improved.

Feel free to use clever quotes

But make sure you credit the author or someone else will! Check out our Groom Quote Inspiration guide.

Speech Don'ts

Don't thank the caterers, the venue, people who have travelled far etc..

It’s unnecessary.

Don't ignore the feedback of friends

It’s always worth testing your speech on a mate, but this means you have to listen to them. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day.

Don't talk over laughter

You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.

Don't get overly soppy

Get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom. Remember, sometimes a couple of lines expressing your love, can be just as powerful as 20. 

Groom - Let us help you!

If you want to deliver a legendary speech, work with us.

We’re rated  ‘excellent’ on Trustpilot and that’s why we offer a DELIGHT GUARANTEE  on all our bespoke services.

And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with grooms around the world.

Groom Speech Template

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Groom’s Speech Examples

February 21, 2017 By Kate

While it is not at all mandatory, some grooms will sometimes give a speech at their wedding. Traditionally, the groom’s speech comes right before the best man’s speech. Here are a few tips and talking points to think about when you are writing your groom’s speech.

First of all, you should thank all of the guests for coming to celebrate with you and your bride on your special wedding day. Acknowledge the effort that people have put in from traveling far and wide to helping out with the wedding. Do not forget to thank your parents and the bride’s parents as well.

Last but not least, do not forget to talk about your bride. She is the whole reason that you have this wedding. Throwing in a compliment is a good idea, whether you are talking about her dazzling personality or how gorgeous she looks in her wedding dress.

And since you will be married already, you can now refer to her as your wife. Your guests will love it when you refer to her as your wife and they will love to see it if your speech is a little bit romantic.

While it is very thoughtful to thank and acknowledge the important people in your wedding speech, you also want to avoid doing that for too long as it will bore the guests. Of course, there is a long list of people who have helped to make your wedding a success and you might still want to find a way to thank them for contributing to your wedding.

People like your vendors and the people in your bridal party might not all need a mention. If you would like to thank them, you can do so privately in person or by writing them a Thank You note. When it comes to making acknowledgements in your groom’s speech, you should definitely remember to include your parents, the bride’s parents, and the bride at the very least.

If somebody will have a speech after yours, then you will want to introduce them to the guests. In most cases the person following you will be your best man. You can just briefly say who he is and what he means to you before handing over the microphone to him.

As much as you might like your best man, he is not the star of the wedding, so you can keep his introduction nice and simple. If you go into a long story about the two of you, it might bore the guests.

When writing your speech, try to keep it to only a few minutes long. Anything too long will make it harder for your guests to stay interested and engaged in your speech. It is okay, in fact it is often welcomed to be romantic in your speech. It is your wedding day after all.

Below are a few examples of groom speeches that you can use as inspiration for your upcoming wedding. Let these groom speeches help you put together a unique and heartfelt speech for your special day.

1. You have all heard the story about the bride who dreams of her wedding day. But I have dreamt of my wedding day too. My wife and I worked hard and put our heads together to plan the perfect wedding. From the venue to the caterer and the suit and gown, a lot of work was put into this wedding. We prayed for beautiful weather, good health, and for our guests to all arrive safely.

But at the end of the day, the only thing that could make my wedding day perfect was getting to stand next to the woman I love so that I could exchange vows with her. At the end of the day, that was all that really mattered. And now we are here before all of you as husband and wife.

2. From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank all of you for being here. To my parents, for guiding me, even now as an adult. To [bride’s] parents, for raising such a wonderful woman, and of course to all of our guests and vendors, for making this day even more complete. And lastly, thank you to [bride,] as we all know, this day would not have happened without you. Thank you for taking a chance on me and thank you for loving me the way that you do.

3. Now as many of you probably know, I am not an in-your-face romantic. I don’t go out to the movies first in line to see the latest romantic comedies and I’m not much of a mushy person. But I became a romantic the moment I met [bride,] who is now my wife.

In my experience, there are two kinds of people. The people who are romantic at heart and the people who don’t really believe in true love until they meet the one. I fit into the latter category. I was a skeptic, I was cynical and never thought love would come calling. Until one day, it did.

And it always happens in the most ordinary, unexpected way. I was not some knight looking for a princess. One day we just bumped into each other and sparks slowly started to fly. And now here we are, husband and wife.

When it comes to [bride,] I believe in romance with all of my heart. Now that I have you, I will kiss you every day and tell you that I love you because I never want you to forget that. I cannot believe how lucky I am to now be able to call you my wife.

4. Growing up, I had the best parents that a guy could ever ask for. And besides being such wonderful parents, my mom and dad were such a lovely couple to know. And I was even luckier to be able to call them mom and dad. Thank you guys for really showing me what love is. Love is the best gift that you can ever give anyone.

Seeing that kind of love between two people every day is such a gift and it has inspired me to be a loving person to everyone that I know, especially to my wife.

5. Doesn’t [bride] look stunning today? I do not really need to go on about how beautiful [bride] looks tonight, though to be honest, I think she looks beautiful any day of the week and at any time of day whether it be morning, noon, or night. But beauty is only skin deep anyway. What counts is what you find on the inside. And the more I got to know my wife, the more I feel in love with her.

6. As some of you here may know, [Bride] and I started off as friends. Naturally, I tried my best to not fall in love with her, I really did. She is a selfless person who is always thinking of others. But I have other selfless friends too. She is thoughtful, but so are my other friends.

While I love her for all of her many great qualities, what I love about my wife more than anything is how well she gets me. She knows me inside and out and never once ran away screaming. And I love her for who she is as well.

And that is why we are all here today in this room, because one day, we decided that it was not enough to just be friends. We knew that we could not live without each other and we wanted to spend the rest of our lives side by side.

[Bride,] I cannot believe how far we have come. Sometimes it still has me in shock, just thinking about how lucky I am to be able to wake up knowing that I have you in my life. Thank you for marrying me and for being my wife.

7. There are so many wonderful people in my life that have made this day special. My parents, who have raised me well and taught me the true meaning of love. My friends and family, who continue to be a remarkable support system to me and [bride,] [bride’s] parents, who raised a remarkable woman, and of course [bride] herself, who I am now lucky enough to call my wife. You all mean the world to me and I would not be up here without you.

8. I would like to take the opportunity to introduce the person who will be delivering the next speech. He is our Best Man and a good and loyal friend. He has always been my partner in crime and he is a really funny guy. Let us all welcome _____________.

9. There are many times in life when I have been uncertain. Uncertain about school, uncertain about what career I want to pursue. There are many times where I didn’t know where life should take me or where I should live. Figuring things out can be tough. But I never had to think twice about [bride.] With her, everything is so much clearer and makes so much more sense.

[Bride,] if there anything in this world that I am sure of, it is that I was meant to be with you. Today is only the beginning of the rest of our life together.

10. We spend a lot of our spare time worrying, wondering, and planning for the future. When I look at [bride,] I know that I have nothing to worry about. I know that we will build a great life together on top of the relationship that we already have.

11. When I think about now having a wife, I do not think about what she could do for me. But I ask myself, what I will do for her. As your husband, I cannot wait to fall asleep next to you, wake up by your side, share a table with you, and have many more adventures. I hope to bring you continuous laughter, joy, and comfort as we embark on our married life together.

12. Some of my friends have teased me about getting married. They joke about me being on a ball on chain and tied down. But I don’t see it that way. When you meet the right one, it does not feel like you are tied down. Instead, I have never felt more free and happier. And I have certainly never felt this kind of love before. So for me, trading the single life for the married life was a no-brainer. When you want to lock the one that you love down, then that’s when you know they are the one.

13. I have always been a bit of a shy, soft-spoken guy. I don’t like speaking in public and crowds make me nervous. But seeing [bride’s] face in the crowd helps and I just had to say this: I really hope today was not a dream. I will probably wake up tomorrow asking myself, did that all really happen? Did I really get to marry the woman I love?

How many people are that lucky to find such a special person who loves them back? Out of all the choices and paths we took in life, I truly believe that it all led us to each other, to this very moment.

14. To [bride,] my beautiful bride. There are no words, no poems that can fully describe you. I can only say that you make my heart feel full in the best way possible. Thank you for choosing me and thank you for letting me be your husband.

15. [Bride,] you look absolutely stunning today and every day. Whether you have on a dazzling dress and perfectly manicured nails and every strand of hair in place or you just have a messy ponytail and some t-shirt and sweatpants on, you look beautiful no matter what you wear.

Check out our other article on Wedding Vows for Him or Her.

16. Marriage, of course, is a big deal. It is a huge commitment. Planning a wedding is a lot of work and then of course, is the marriage itself. So why do it? For those who want to know why I asked [bride] to marry me, the simple, most obvious answer is love.

When I met [bride] and got to know her, I could hardly believe that she hadn’t already been scooped up by someone else.

17. [Bride,] you already know that as much as I love you, I am not perfect. But I will do my best to do my share in our marriage and around the house. I will try to remember to put my dirty dishes in the sink and I will do my best to separate the laundry correctly. But here is what I can promise you without a doubt. I will love you with all my heart and I will try to make you laugh and smile every day.

18. So I wrote a little something for [bride.] And you might be wondering why I am reading this in front of a room full of people then. Why not read this in a room with just the two of us? But since today is a celebration of our love, I thought what other way to celebrate this love than to talk about it in a room full of the people that we both love?

[Bride,] you look beautiful tonight. I cannot believe that I am yours and that you are mine, but I am so happy for it. Since we have been together, you have made me the happiest man on Earth, and today made me even happier. I cannot wait to embark on the rest of our life together. I love you so much.

19. When our eyes first met, I already knew

That you were my absolute dream come true.

Your very smile lights up the sky,

I am so happy to call you mine.

20. I had only ever read stories and heard tales of what true love was. It was not until you that I finally knew and understood what it all meant. To me, your name alone makes me light up. Your smile brightens my day and your eyes sparkle like the sun. But more than anything, I have met my twin soul.

21. [Bride,] I am so blessed to be able to call you my wife. You are an angel in my life. I cannot wait to share the rest of my life with you. I know that God will guide us on our path together.

22. [Bride,] you are my favorite person in the world. Today is our first day of being married and I know we will have so many other firsts. Our first house, our first child if we are lucky, and so on. I cannot wait to share all of these exciting memories with you, my lovely wife.

23. To [bride,] my beautiful bride, who I can now call my wife. While nobody in this world is 100% perfect, to me you are amazing just as you are. I love everything about you and look forward to spending my days with you as husband and wife.

24. [Bride,] I don’t know if you truly know how happy you make me. Words cannot fully or adequately express how your presence and love make me feel. I can only say that things are much better and much brighter with you by my side.

25. [Bride,] what we have is beautiful. Our relationship nourishes my soul and your company gives me so much excitement. You are fun and hilarious and beautiful and kind and smart too. There is no one out there like you and I am so lucky that you are my wife.

26. [Bride,] we have had so many blessings in our relationship together. Meeting you and becoming your friend was a blessing, and getting to marry you was an even bigger one. I know that God will guide us on the right path on our marriage and I cannot wait to see what our future has in store.

27. [Bride,] it is easy to love you. Not only on your best days, but on your worst days as well. When you are happy, I want to celebrate with you and when you are sad, I want to help comfort you and lift up your spirits. You make me so loved as well.

You may also enjoy our Father of the Bride Speech Examples.

28. [Bride,] you are many things to me. You are my best friend, my confidante, my rock, and my wife. You are my love, my partner, and my family. In short, you are everything to me. Let us toast to our future together as a married couple.

29. [Bride,] I am not the same person I was before I met you. When we first embarked on a relationship, something special started. A seed was planted and it continues to grow and flourish today. I am so excited to continue to grow with you and to see what memories our marriage will make.

30. [Bride,] thank you for marrying me today. Without a doubt, I know that we will be happy together. When we first met, I could never have predicted where we would end up today, but I am sure glad that this is where we are now. Now that I know you, I could not see myself with anyone else but you.

31. [Bride,] you are my other half, we complement each other so perfectly. You are the peanut butter to my jelly, the macaroni to my cheese, and the yin to my yang. With you, I know that anything is possible.

32. [Bride,] thank you for signing up to be my wife. I know that I am not the cleanest eater or the snappiest dresser, but I promise to make you as happy as I can. I will always try to put a smile on your face and I will always be there to hold your hand and whisper that I love you.

33. [Bride,] what we have together is love. We have no illusions of being with perfect people, but we love each other anyway. I will continue to love you, my wife, imperfections and all.

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12 Groom Speech Tips: How to Make a Killer Groom's Speech

Are you nervous about giving your groom's speech? Our experts have 12 top tips to giving the ultimate speech and help calm your nerves

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Have you been worrying about giving your groom’s speech ever since you popped the question? You’re not alone! This is arguably one of the most daunting parts of your entire wedding planning journey. 

You’ll need to consider how long your speech should be, your groom speech structure, and who you should be thanking. If you’re following the traditional order of speeches, your speech will come after the father of the bride (or groom) speech , and he could have set the bar pretty high.

But, don’t fret! We spoke to wedding speech writing experts to help calm your nerves. Speechwriter Chris Dance , Adrian Simpson from All Speeches Great and Small  and Heidi Ellert-McDermott from Speechy gave their best advice on what it takes to deliver a great groom speech.

• Groom's Wedding Speech Tips
• Groom Speech Preparation
• Who Does the Groom Toast and Thank?
• How to Write a Groom's Speech?

What Does the Groom Say in His Speech?

• How Long Should the Groom's Speech be?

12 Groom's Wedding Speech Tips

So here are our top tips on giving a wedding speech, but we've also put together a handy video for wedding speech-givers in a hurry! This video explains our best wedding speech tips for grooms, in under a minute. 

1. Acknowledge This Special Moment

“A great groom speech should be a really good dollop of entertainment and fun, whilst at the same time acknowledging what a very special moment this is. It’s your chance to stand up and acknowledge the people who have brought you to this point and, of course, to talk about the person you’ve been lucky enough to marry,” explained Adrian.

2. Think Carefully About How to Begin

Heidi advises that the best way to begin your groom speech is “quickly”.

She says: “Grooms often make the mistake of thinking they should sound formal and get overly stressed about following traditional etiquette. The aim is to get people laughing as soon as possible, certainly within the first three lines of your speech as it puts everyone listening at ease.”

As well as keeping it light and funny, Adrian points out that it’s important to address your partner's father and thank him for his speech: “Make it a warm and inclusive introduction, however, don’t be tempted to detail his financial contribution. A reference to his generosity should be sincere but very general.”

3. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience applies to all speech writing and Chris emphasises this by explaining that you should: "Keep in mind who you're talking to and make the speech accessible to everyone in the room. Don't use in-jokes that only you and your workmates will get, don't risk anything offensive or controversial, and steer clear of politics."

4. Add in a Few (Appropriate) Jokes

“There’s a lot of emotion on the big day and making people laugh with some wedding jokes or amusing stories is the best way to balance that out,” explains Adrian.

Keep your stories short, funny, and appropriate! You don’t want to be embarrassing your new wife or husband on your first day as a married couple.

“Are you already concerned that your bride’s ‘pinot posse’ have started chatting up the bar staff? Or are you finding it hard to recognise your middle-aged cycling buddies in clothes that they usually wouldn’t be seen dead in? Make your humour personal and seemingly spontaneous – your guests will really appreciate it,” adds Heidi.

Adrian advises grooms to steer away from a speech that’s more of a ‘dry procession of thanks’ as you’ll struggle to keep your guests’ attention – so even if you’re not a naturally charismatic person, make sure your personality shines through above the mere thank-yous.

Take a look at these groom speech jokes for inspiration! 

5. Remember to Thank Everyone

Traditionally, the groom will need to thank the following:

• Everyone for coming
• His parents
• His partner’s parents
• His best man and ushers (if there are any)
• The maid of honour and bridesmaids (if there are any)

Heidi advises that although there are probably plenty of other people who you would love to thank for their contributions and help towards your special day, try to avoid thanking half of the guest list.

A simple way to thank everyone would be to say:

"This is the best day of my life and it's because of all of you, and especially you (referring to your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

When it comes to thanking parents, there’s one thing Adrian warns grooms to be careful of. “Don’t fall into the trap of waxing lyrical about your new parents-in-law for several paragraphs, dismissing your own parents in a sentence. They should both be given equal measure.”

An example to combine them both would be to say:

"Thank you for my parents for bring me up to be the person I am today and thank you to my in-laws for welcoming me into your family."

6. Focus on Your New Partner

Heidi suggests that your new partner should be the main focus of your speech. She says, “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to drop a public love-bomb on your partner and considering they’ve just agreed to tolerate all of your habits and box sets for the rest of their life, it’s the least you can do!

“Remember, every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing so avoid cliché terms and words and concentrate on what makes them unique. Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows that you really get your new husband or wife and your friends and family will love you for that.”

Chris recommends that you do this by giving examples: "Don't just say that your partner is kind and thoughtful; illustrate it with the story about the time that they dressed up as Boba Fett and threw you a surprise Star Wars party, or about how they still hold your hand at the dentists because you hate the sound of the drill."

7. Forget Giving Out Gifts

Heidi advises that if you’re planning on giving thank you gifts to bridesmaids , parents or anyone else, either do it earlier on in the day or announce that you’ll be personally thanking them later as to not disrupt the speech.

She says: “Gift-giving is basically an excuse for guests to start checking their WhatsApp!”

8. Don't Be Too Ambitious

The time you take to the mic to make your groom's speech will no doubt be a big moment, but Chris shares that it is important to be realistic about what your comfort zone is and stay in it.

"It's a speech to your friends, not an audition for Britain's Got Talent. If you're terrified of public speaking, keep it simple. Don't give yourself unnecessary stress by filling your speech with tongue-twisters or trying to be Billy Connolly." 

9. Think Carefully About the Structure

Adrian says, “There are lots of people to talk about and you should deal with them one at a time and avoid repetition.

“Resist the urge to launch straight into how amazing your new partner looks and then pepper the speech with references to them. They are the star of the show so save the latter half of the speech to be dedicated to them and what they mean to you.”

10. Eight Minutes is the Perfect Length of Time

Adrian says that the length of a groom’s speech can really make or break it: “Too short and people are going to be wondering why you bothered. Too long and nobody will be listening. Keep it to a ‘stand up-sit down’ time of 10 minutes – that’s a talking time of around eight minutes and the rest will be made up from laughter, applause and heckles.”

Heidi also stressed the importance of not boring people with a lengthy speech, but also not coming across like you’re enjoying the attention a little too much.

11. Avoid Too Much Detail

Adrian explained that it’s too much detail that really slows a speech down: “A great speech demands the very least from the guests in order for them to enjoy it, so now is not the time to recount exactly how you know each of the ushers individually. A good guide is to aim for a total of 1,350 words – if you’re edging well over that, then it’s time to strip out some of the content.”

12. Think About Your Ending

According to Adrian: “Tradition says that you should end on a toast to the bridesmaids and a little aside to the best man. I’ve never found this works – in my opinion, the focus of the speech should be exclusively on your partner, that’s why I suggest toasting to the bridesmaids earlier in the speech and making the final words all about your partner.

“You should have talked about the best man earlier in the speech but there’s no harm in having a quick one-liner referencing him at the end but make sure it’s after the final toast.”

Groom Speech Preparation To Calm Your Nerves

Never Ending Stories

Heidi has a lot of advice when it comes to calming nerves around your wedding speech, starting with just how important the planning and preparation is.

“The key to being confident on the day is writing a wedding speech that’s so good you can’t wait to deliver it. If you know you’re going to make your friends laugh, your mum cry and your bride/groom love you even more then you’ll ooze confidence whilst delivering your speech.”

1. Film Yourself – Use your phone to film yourself practising your speech. Watch it back and channel your inner Simon Cowell – work out how your delivery could be improved and what you would change.

2. Dutch Courage Isn’t Always the Answer – Although lots of grooms swear by a bit of Dutch courage, this is based on wishful thinking rather than solid science!

3. Smile and Breathe – It may sound obvious but taking a deep breath is surprisingly effective at reducing those stress nerves and smiling is scientifically proven to be infectious, making them a fool-proof combination.

Does the Groom Give a Speech?

Traditionally, the groom will give a speech at the wedding reception, following the ceremony. You can do whatever works for you, but the traditional order for speeches is for the father of the bride to speak, then the groom, best man and any other toasts.

How to Write a Groom's Speech

If you are writing your groom's speech yourself the key points to remember are to compliment your new spouse and thank any key guests. Any other additions are nice extras! 

Writing not your strength? Hiring a professional speechwriter is a brilliant option. "It’s not cheating - if it is then so is ordering a wedding cake when you’ve got perfectly good eggs and flour at home," shares Chris.

"Speech writing is a specialist skill: giving the task to someone who can mould your words and articulate your thoughts is as valid a use of your budget as any other wedding service you’re paying for – arguably more valid, given that it’s probably the bit of the day you’re most worried about."

"The groom should focus on thankyous," explains Chris. "He should thank everyone for coming to the wedding - especially Jim and Tania who’ve kayaked all the way from Gdansk; anyone who contributed to it significantly, his partner’s parents for spawning such a catch; his own parents for loving and/or tolerating him.

"When he’s done that he can get on with lavishing praise on the person he’s married and saying how deliriously happy he is. That’s what the guests really want to hear from him, so he needs to do that bit well and sincerely."

How Long Should a Groom's Speech be?

Ideally, you want your groom's speech to be no more than ten minutes. Make sure to rehearse it a few times before the big day and time yourself - you don't want your guests to start getting bored!

"Just remember, if there are two or three other speakers then you’re asking your guests to sit still and listen patiently for half an hour, which is a long time when you’re stuffed full of wine, sea bass and tiramisu and you want to stretch your legs.

"However long your speech lasts (I find seven to ten minutes is usually enough), try to keep it punchy, lively and relevant: there is such a thing as a five minute speech that’s so dull it feels like a lifetime, yet fifteen minutes can race by if your speech is bright, engaging and funny," says Chris.

Still feeling nervous? Fear not – here’s our guide on how to deliver an amazing wedding speech !

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